#My younger sibling recommended it to me so I might as well

[twotailednekomata]

I can't believe Mr. Samuel Streamer has me reading up on a specific, performance-enhancing drug.

[writingforatwistedworld]

oooo ok ok ok

so what bout a platonic deuce, epel, and lilia with a gn reader that kinda talks out loud to themselves when they play?

like they say how much they want to be this character's brother, or how they bet this character would be a good parental figure, etc. or even when another character says/does something they don't like they kinda just, voice their opinion on it?

just their reaction to reader talking out loud/voicing their thoughts lmao srry if this doesn't make sense

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, violence, description of violence, obsessive themes, religion, war (if you squint)

Deuce Spade/Epel Felmier/Lilia Vanrouge-Player voicing their thoughts whilst playing (PLATONIC!)

Deuce is a calm guy, they said. Deuce is a chill guy, they said

Well whoever they are haven't seen him when you are around, behind the screen or not

This guy is just happy that you confide in him enough that you voice your thoughts to him

Don't mention that you are just on venting-you-thoughts mode when you play… Like seriously, don't.

He is always more than happy to listen whenever you are talking.

Could be about how much you like his newest card design but could also be about what you want for dinner. Idk? I would recommend something light like banana muffins with blueberries. It's very tasty. Trust me.

If you could see through the coding he would be like “Oh really.” and “You don't say.” or “What? Really?”

What I am trying to say is that he is probably more engaged in this “conversation than most would be

If some poor NPC “interrupts” (aka not heating what he is hearing and starting to talk) he will show them how fragile the ordinary human nose is. In other words, fist meet face. Nose make crack. NPC is screaming.

But on another note, should you voice wishing to be a family member of his, say for example his sibling, he would be over the moon

He is in lalaland, imagining how he and his younger siblings would enjoy their free time together. Heck, probably taking care of some chicks

Oh, and what if you were his older sibling? Like, wow, you would be such a cool role model! You probably wouldn't be a thug like him so that makes you even… cooler (?) in his eyes

Dude over here is having such a great time imagining being your sibling he is low-key looking like he ascended

But then he starts to imagine the darker sides of life

Like how his younger sibling could be bullied in school whilst he is stuck on this island

Or even worse if you are the older one of you two, you might start dating!

I don't know if it is funny or sad that he is feeling a sensation of loss over a sibling he never had

Like bro, chill. Don't beat up that student that looks similar to the imaginary partner you just made up in your mind. They can't be held accountable for your min-OH NO DON… Didn't he want to stop with this?

Epel is literally frothing at his mouth when he hears your innermost thoughts

Now now, I know this is creepy (like wtf get yourself together man) but I promise he is totally normal (who am I kidding he looks like he has rabies) and is also a totally chill guy (is it obvious that I am lying?)

Religious indoctrination or whatnot

Imagine, you are already isolated in a village filled with religious zealots, always hearing how great that person (you) is

And then they spill everything on their mind to you

Give him a day or two and he will be back to normal… if we ignore that poor student in the corner

Like man, you noted one single time how much you liked this NPCs design and the next thing he knows he is seeing red

It's kinda like seeing your favorite family member favoring that one annoying cousin who is related to you over five corners

Has a notebook and writes everything he deems important down… which is a lot to be fair (but let the guy have his weird hobby, ok?)

But then you mention how you wish you were a family member of his and oh my god I think he is this close to breaking the fourth wall for real this time

This hits home to him

Remember how I told you about his village's eight lines higher than this one? Yeah.

There had been others his age but they were little to none and his village is in the middle of nowhere so…

But we also know how much he loves his grandma so it is a given that he would cherish you as well

Also, his god saying that they would want to be related to him. Ugh. He is honored so much that it is disgusting

But I could see this isolation and certain closeness you only get with a sibling also being not so good for you

What if you like the other villagers your age more than him? What if his girly appearance drives you away from him? (Bro u probably more dangerous with those looks than without them bc no one expects you to be able to throw hands but go on)

This leads to more and more self-doubts until he more or less bursts and just turns into someone no one wants to be around because of how aggressive he is

Thank god for the fourth wall or else you wouldn't see him like his old, not-so-destructive self anymore

Lilia is… something

His interest in you isn't purely romantic. It started out as something more like him holding onto something so he wouldn't go mad during “those days” *add fire noises and screaming in the background*

So it's more of a “I BETTER BELIEVE IN SOMETHING OR ELSE I MIGHT LOOSE MY MIND” than “Omg I am such a good follower te-he” situation

Little to no one has had access to the Overseer's thoughts and he is just randomly hearing them whilst thinking about what to make for dinner

Like Epel, he is pretty intense when it comes to you. Difference is that Epels “interest” in you stems from a place of… let's say religious views and Lilias from “those days” *fire noises and screaming in the background intensifies*

But unlike the guy who more or less shares his height and is a cotton candy version of himself concerning their hair he doesn't write down your thoughts

Oh no

This guy listens to it like he is hearing the world's greatest opera singer perform live in front of him

Thank goodness no one other than the other Diasomnia students mention your ramblings or else there would be heads flying

What? Can't a guy hope to have some special link to his deity? God, you all are so cold. Can't you even try to see his perspective? (I am joking please don't do what he does your reaction is totally valid)

But then you once mentioned how much you want to be part of his little family and whoops- there went his sanity

What if he had adopted you and Silver at the same time?

Wouldn't that be the cutest?

Sebek is almost screaming when he suddenly hears *ahem* LILIA-SAMA cooing at nothing out of nowhere

You two would be so cute growing up together and he would be the one honored to be this close to some kind of reincarnation of his God

But- but what if he was the only one knowing who you truly were? The other Faes (Malleus and Sebek being the exceptions) can't hear you so what if… what if you were also seen as some sort of weird outsider like Silver?

Don't get him wrong, the Faes have never shown hostility to his son but there was always that certain distance, Sebek and his family being one of the few accepting the young silver-haired knight as he was

Suddenly Lilia feels a certain kind of rage bubbling up to the surface like he hadn't felt in a long time

Silver… uh… you better hide that meatclea- *coughcough* I mean, legendary sword from your father

[cheonsarchive]

Sunghoon | Unspoken

Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive

Featuring: the rest of ENHYPEN, LE SSERAFIM, TXT, aespa

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive content, mentions of/implied sex (no explicit smut), reader is COMPLICATED (I'm sorry lmao), mentions of death

Summary: You expected your summer break to be all relaxed and cozy, that was until your best friend decided to confess to you out of the blue. Cue a chaotic summer full of complicated feelings, denial, miscommunication and even more pining for each other than before. Bonus: Jake giving decent advice for once!

Word Count: 18k (what)

Playlist: Ruelle - War of Hearts, Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - Close, Lana Del Rey - Born To Die, Lostboycrow - Powers, Chase Atlantic - Meddle About, Aquilo - Losing You, Harry Styles - Falling

Author's Note: I rose from the dead to bring you a long awaited Sunghoon oneshot! I'm not too happy with it actually, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to Sunghoon and I feel like I can't reach his standard anyway, so whatever lol. The first confession scene was inspired by Little Women (recommendation!), because it was perfect and needed to be reproduced in an ENHYPEN context. I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️

If you want to be tagged in future ENHYPEN scenarios, let me know!

Masterlist

The ring of the bell that announced the end of the lesson made you slump in your seat in relief. You never anticipated the familiar buzzing noise more than today, the last class before the summer break being over making a wave of excitement rush through your body.

This semester had been absolute hell and you couldn’t wait for the break to start to be able to live with an empty head, at least for a couple of weeks, before you had to start studying again. You managed to hand in your last paper the day before, so you could officially call it a day once your last class was over and leave campus as fast as possible. Your friend Yunjin wasn’t as lucky, though.

“I’m so jealous of you, I really need to work on my time management.” Yunjin huffs in disappointment, still having to hand in two papers before she can start her summer break. You smiled apologetically at her.

“No need to be though, you’ll go to Italy soon and have the greatest time sipping Aperol Spritz in the sun while I will rot here without you,” you pointed out.

“Don’t say that, you will probably chill at Sunghoon’s pool every day anyway. Plus, we’re gonna have the road trip coming up at the end of the break, remember? That’s gonna be so much fun!” she chimed.

Ah yes, the road trip. Your friend group has decided to go to the countryside for a few days at the end of each summer break to detox once more from the city (and university) life before the next semester starts. It was Yunjin’s idea and ever since it was planned she kept talking about it nonstop.

“We’ll see about Sunghoon’s pool. If Yeji is being annoying again, we might have to move somewhere else. Sunghoon has been complaining about how she has recently become really obsessed with this one boy at school and wants to throw a pool party to invite him,” you laughed, reminiscing the phone call you had with Sunghoon the other day where he kept complaining for an hour straight how annoying it is to have a younger sibling going through puberty. When you had told him that he was like that as well once, he firmly denied it, being his usual stubborn self.

“She’s growing so fast! I wonder how protective Sunghoon will be once she actually starts dating.” Yunjin wiggles her eyebrows at you. You let out a dry chuckle in response, imagination running wild about how whiny he would be, pretending to be cold and scary when he was actually a soft, loving brother to Yeji.

“He will be the absolute worst.” You shook your head in amusement. You knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand, so you knew that he would absolutely freak out if a boy dared to hurt his little sister. It was probably a natural response, one you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any siblings, but he was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you wondered if he just wanted to fit into the overprotective big brother trope.

“Hello ladies! What are we talking about?” Heeseung greeted after suddenly walking next to you. You smiled back at him and could see a familiar relief in his eyes, one that was probably coating all of your faces. Next semester would be Heeseung’s last one in college, so the pressure was on.

“Just how Sunghoon is going be the worst big brother once his sister starts dating.” Yunjin shrugged and Heeseung broke out in a chuckle because he definitely agrees. You almost felt bad for shading Sunghoon like that, but you enjoyed teasing him about it.

“Do I even want to know how this topic came up? There is more than enough time to shit-talk Sunghoon later, we should be discussing how excited we are for the summer break instead!” Heeseung jumped up and down and you realized just how giddy he was because he rarely acts this hyper.

“We were! It’s not that exciting for me though, because I’m not going to travel like you two,” you defended, making both of them exchange glances and scoff in unison.

“Please, you wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon anyway. It’s not like you don’t enjoy spending every day with him during summer break.” Yunjin laughed and you glared it her.

It was true, though. Sunghoon and you were inseparable like pen and paper ever since you were in middle school. You spent the majority of time at each other’s homes, to the point where you wondered which place you should actually call your home, his or your own? But during exam season, you usually spend less time with each other because you’re too busy studying. So it has become your ritual to spend the beginning of summer break together to make up for the lost time. It was easy too because that was usually the time everyone else travelled anyway.

The fact that you never grew tired of each other really amazed everyone around you. Rumors started spreading quickly that you might be secretly dating, or at least crushing on each other. You’ve always confidently turned down such rumors, but especially Heeseung and Yunjin persisted that something was going on between you two and loved teasing you about it.

“If it’s about what I think it is, I don’t want to hear it.” You warned, seeing the suggestive look in their eyes. You grew tired of always having to defend your friendship with Sunghoon. Maybe because deep down, there was some truth to it.

Sunghoon and you fit each other like a glove. You always knew what the other one thinks without having to articulate it, you can talk about everything without feeling judged and you balance each other out with your skills and knowledge.

It already started in middle school. Sunghoon was more skilled in creative subjects whereas you were good in trickier ones like mathematics or chemistry. You started tutoring each other quickly, which helped both of you get through high school. He helped you with your art projects whereas you explained his math homework to him.

Sunghoon was there during many difficult times as well. He was there when you experienced your first heartbreak, and he comforted you when your grandpa died who you cherished so deeply. Even years later, when you confessed that you’re still struggling with his death, Sunghoon was quick to drop everything and come over to you to help you get through it.

And if that wasn’t enough, Sunghoon also grew incredibly handsome as time passed. Puberty really turned him into the best version of himself and it was no wonder many girls at university swooned over him. So really, wasn’t he perfect boyfriend material?

“No.” You turned to Yunjin with a surprised face, confusion written over your features. “You finally need to confront your feelings. Even a blind person can see that the connection you have is more than just friendship.”

You rolled your eyes. There was nothing to confront in your opinion, which made you really question why they couldn’t just drop the topic. Though you sometimes wondered if the longing gaze from Sunghoon held more than you thought.

“Yeah whatever. Call me when you’ve handed in your papers!” You announced your departure, hugging Yunjin extra tight since you probably won’t see her again before her trip overseas. You promised to keep in touch before you separated from your friends to get on the bus to Sunghoon’s house. He didn’t have classes today, so he slept in and waited at home, promising you to celebrate the beginning of summer break with fresh watermelon.

“Lord have mercy.” You said with eyes as big as the watermelon in front of you. Sunghoon smiled cheekily, proudly presenting his purchase from the market. He posed like a model, and you slapped his arm playfully.

“That must have cost you a fortune.” You said feeling guilty, head dropping slightly. Sunghoon let out a tut at that.

“Don’t worry about it. Celebrating summer break is definitely worth it and much needed. I have to distract myself from wanting to curse at Professor Yoon.” Sunghoon exclaimed, the last part making you giggle quietly.

He expertly cut the watermelon in triangles and handed you a piece before sitting down opposite from you on the terrace. The sun had been cooking you and you wondered whether you will really survive a day at the pool. You really enjoyed spending time at Sunghoon’s house because of his big pool, but it stops being enjoyable once the temperatures hit a certain degree mark. The watermelon was not just needed as a way of celebrating, but also as a refreshment.

Once you took the first bite, you sighed in satisfaction, making Sunghoon suppress a laugh. You looked at him with a grim expression and cheeks stuffed like a squirrel.

“What?”

“Nothing, sounds like you really needed that one too. And you look cute with your mouth full.” He said, mimicking how your cheeks must have looked to him.

Yunjin and Heeseung might have classified that as flirting, but you knew Sunghoon was just bickering with you. He dropped comments like that from time to time, knowing you would always react with an annoyed expression.

“So, how is Yeji’s dating life going?” you taunted, trying to change the topic as you remembered the conversation you had with Yunjin and Heeseung earlier. Sunghoon’s smile dropped instantly and he groaned in annoyance.

“Don’t remind me. I told her to stay away from that prick but she is persistent.” He elaborated despite not wanting to have this conversation.

“You don’t even know him and call him a prick!” you laughed at your best friend being unreasonable, almost choking on your watermelon slice in the process. Sunghoon fixed you with a glare.

“I don’t have to know him to know he’s an idiot.” He defended but you could only raise a brow at him in response.

“Okay, you boy expert. You must know better.” You fake-praised but he brushed you off, taking another bite from his watermelon slice.

“I just want the best for my sister.” He said matter-of-factly, words almost unintelligible due to him chewing on his watermelon.

“I know, but you need to relax a little bit. Let her experience her first heartbreak if necessary and focus on your own miserable love life instead.” You joked, but Sunghoon grew tense upon hearing the second half of your sentence. He looked at you through his lashes, the way you acted completely unbothered by what you had just said irking him.

Once you finished eating you decided it would be too hot to stay outside, so you went to Sunghoon’s room to kill time. You plopped onto his bed while he was sorting some laundry, talking about everything and nothing. Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon seemed stiff since earlier. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but you knew something was up with him today. It was like he was contemplating something.

For some reason, the topic of dating wouldn’t escape you today. Some time into the conversation, you drifted off to Yunjin’s boy escapades, laughing at the ridiculous stories she had told you.

You remembered Yunjin hooking up with that one guy from calculus, you guessed his name was Soobin, almost losing her virginity in a broom closet if it wasn’t for the janitor to catch them. She dropped him the moment she saw him drag another girl in said broom closet, able to imagine what was probably going on in there since she had first-hand experience. She never disclosed whether the janitor caught those two as well and you were oddly curious.

She started swiping on Tinder afterwards, meeting up with a guy whose name slipped from your memory, but you certainly remember the chaos that unfolded once she found out he was actually cheating on his girlfriend with her. For some reason, she was gravitating towards weird boys and she blamed it on them being Korean after a while.

So came Yunjin’s trip to Italy. It was honestly no surprise when she announced that she wants to start her “hot girl summer” experience with it. She started complaining about the lack of good-natured men around your campus and how she wants to try dating someone European. You started to question the intentions of her trip. Was it to relax and enjoy the Italian scenery, or was it to enjoy the Italian ‘scenery’?

“Maybe we should start our own hot girl and hot boy summer instead of being glued together all the time,” you fantasized absentmindedly, just the thought of it making you chuckle. You really weren’t the person to hit up strangers, and neither was he. Sunghoon tensed at your words, stopping in his tracks. His back was turned to you, but you could tell what you said stirred something in him. You patiently waited for his response, and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say.

“No, I don’t think that would be good.” he said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. His breathing halted the moment you suggested getting to know other people.

“Why is that? I think you need to let go of the mysterious handsome guy image and finally get laid again.” you laughed, slightly confused by his changing demeanor.

“I don’t want to hook up with random girls.” He stated. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Sunghoon never seemed that interested in dating. He did have a short fling with a girl named Eunchae when he entered college, but it ended with a lot of tears and refusal to meet someone new. He tried to hook up here and there, but that stopped after a while too and you figured he might want to wait for a real girlfriend, not just some one-night stands with strangers.

It didn’t strike you how serious he was being about this. So, when he turned around to look at you, the atmosphere in the room shifted. His gaze held something you had never seen before. His gaze held so much, in fact, that it made you nervous. And like many times before, Sunghoon didn’t need to speak up for you to know what he meant. But unlike many times before, what he was thinking made your blood run cold.

“No.” you immediately blurted, eyes going wide in shock.

“Y/N, listen.” He rushed out once you started to get up from the bed.

“No, no. Sunghoon, please don’t.” you tried to shield from him, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. But things like misunderstandings weren’t in your code.

“Y/N it’s no use. We finally need to talk about this.”

“I think I’m going to be sick, I better go home,” you said, feeling the sudden urge to flee from the situation. You almost sprinted to the door and Sunghoon tried to block you from leaving his room, but you pushed him away in panic. As stubborn as he is, Sunghoon followed you suit, and you were glad that you two were alone at his house right now, because you wouldn’t want Yeji or his parents to overhear this conversation.

“Y/N please listen to me. I’ve started liking you a while ago already and I never said anything because I thought it wasn’t mutual. But sometimes I-… I just-… I got the feeling that we might have a chance as something more than friends. T-that you might want this too. I’ve waited so long for you to make a move and prove that I wasn’t imagining things and that you feel the same way for me. But it never happened, and I just can’t go on like this. I need you to know, okay?”

Sunghoon rambled so fast you almost couldn’t catch up with him, he blurted all that while you tried to get out of his house as quickly as possible. He kept going while you practically ran down the stairs, picking up your shoes and sliding into them. Before you turned the door knob of his front door, you turned around to look at him again. And it was a big mistake.

Sunghoon was wearing the most desperate expression you had ever witnessed. The fact that he just confessed to you made your stomach turn. You even noticed how his eyes turned glassy, was he crying? Disbelief was written over your face and all you could do was shake your head and say “No.” once more.

Something broke inside of Sunghoon when he became conscious of the fact that you were rejecting him at this moment. He mustered up the courage to tell you how he felt because everyone he had confined in told him you like him too and that he should finally tell you how he really feels. So, not only did he feel crushed by your rejection, but also by the backstab of his friends.

“Y/N I always thought we worked so well together, so I never understood why we couldn’t be more. Am I… Am I not good enough? I-is that the problem? If there is something I can change, let me know and I’ll-“

“Oh my God, Sunghoon, no. You’re literally perfect. I’m so grateful to have you by my side and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the times you comforted me and helped me to get out of trouble. You are honest and funny and- and you are committed, and I love you. But just not the way you want me to. I am sorry.” You interrupted him, feeling your eyes sting with tears, mirroring his. Sunghoon choked at your words. You realized at that moment that you haven’t seen him cry in ages. And to be the reason he was crying made you feel terrible.

“Please tell me why. I don’t understand.” He begged, sounding absolutely miserable while a tear managed to escape and run down his cheek slowly.

“I don’t know Sunghoon. I just don’t. We can’t ruin our friendship like this-”

“Who said this is ruining our friendship? Maybe we weren’t meant to be just friends in the first place!”

“Yes we were!” you snapped back at him, anger starting to bubble up inside of you, “Yes we were,” you repeated, more calmly this time, “don’t make this something it isn’t. Please.”

This was the moment you decided that you had to get out of there immediately. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore, the fact that he expected an answer from you. You were overwhelmed with the whole situation and couldn’t think straight, so your adrenaline rush decided for flight instead of fight. You quickly turned the door knob and rushed out of his home, leaving him behind.

“Y/N, wait!” was his last attempt to keep you by his side, but he was met with a door being slammed in his face instead. He stared at his front door in disbelief, trying to process what had just unfolded. How he ruined everything. Sunghoon wanted to hit himself for speaking up, he figured that he should have just stayed quiet instead. But it was eating at him how he was silently pining for you and you never reacted the way he wanted you to. It confused him how you always scoffed at him whenever he complimented you but enjoyed cuddling with him during your regular movie nights.

He always wondered if he was making everything up, if you weren’t giving him potential signs at all and he just interpreted them the wrong way. Yet, when he opened up to Jake about his crush for you Jake didn’t seem surprised and said that everyone knew you both liked each other. Emphasis on both. After some time passed, Jake reassured Sunghoon that it was no use pining like this and that he was sure you two were destined to be together. Sunghoon was still scared shitless because there was still the possibility of you rejecting him. And whatever happens, he can’t afford to lose you because of his stupid feelings.

Sunghoon can’t even remember when he started liking you. It randomly hit him one day when you were wiping some ketchup off his mouth after eating fries and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He started noticing how pretty your eyes and lips were, how well you carried yourself, how quick-witted you were and how you always seemed to be at ease when you were around him. He had an ability to calm you down that no one else had. And Sunghoon managed to mistake it for mutual interest.

Once you slammed the door in his face you stood in front of his house for a few minutes, trying to sort out your thoughts and get your feet to move. The gears in your head were turning at lightning speed and you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wasn’t this what you always wanted?

You speculated if there was something more than friendship forming between you two from time to time. You started paying closer attention to Sunghoon’s small habits and the way he acts around you, appreciating the way he always puts your needs first and makes sure you’re always sorted first before he worries about himself. When your friends started asking about what you and Sunghoon were, you were quick to answer that you were just best friends, but you always questioned why they would ask that if you simply gave off friendship energy.

Sunghoon had everything you would look for in a partner. So why were you rejecting him? You never even calculated the possibility of him liking you back, and the sole idea of it made heat rush to your ears. For whatever reason it seemed so impossible to you that Sunghoon could hold similar feelings for you that you blatantly rejected any chance of you two getting into a relationship, pushing your feelings aside in the process. It annoyed you that your friends kept pushing you towards each other when it was clear as day to you that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same. For your own sanity, you couldn’t accept anything else.

It's been over two weeks since Sunghoon confessed to you. And ever since then, you two didn’t talk to each other at all. It was the longest time you went without texting, calling and seeing each other. And you hated every bit of it. You missed Sunghoon like crazy, not talking to him felt like torture.

“You wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon.“

You hated how your friend was right. But you couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him, let alone appear at his house. He was probably hoping for you to reach out because he didn’t contact you either. To be fair, it was your turn after you ran away from him like that. But to put it simply, you had no clue how to address this situation.

You had spent the last couple of days rereading your text messages, smiling at all the fond memories you made and the stupid memes you constantly shared with each other. It made your heart ache for him even more and you started being angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Things should have just stayed the way they were and the fact that everything was different now bothered you to no end.

Apart from missing Sunghoon, you also felt incredibly bored. With Yunjin and Heeseung being out of the country, your closest friends were all unavailable and all you did was lay in bed all day and reminiscence old times. You wondered how this shift in Sunghoon and your relationship would affect the whole friend group dynamic. Did you just doom more than one friendship?

Your boredom got to the point where you considered texting friends you rarely hang out with out of pure desperation. However, you didn’t manage to send out the text messages you had written and rewritten several times. You felt like you sounded too eager and decided to just continue decaying in your room, hoping that Sunghoon will find the courage to reach out to you first.

When you felt your phone vibrate next to you, you have never been so fast to check who messaged you, obviously hoping that your and Sunghoon’s telepathy had worked once again and he was the one to reach out. When you were met with a notification from Ningning, you were slightly disappointed, to say the least. Nevertheless, you opened her message.

Ningning~: Hey Y/N! I haven’t heard from you in a while so I wanted to reach out again. How is your summer break? Are you in town? I wanted to ask if you would like to join me tomorrow. There’s a party hosted by Yeonjun and I thought maybe you’d like to come too! Just let me know xx

You sighed. You really weren’t in the mood to party. But you were also dying of boredom, so should you just ignore the offer you got at being less lonely and having some fun? Maybe it can distract you from this whole Sunghoon situation. Alcohol was always a good way to drown your feelings, right? Wrong, but who cares.

You: Hey Ning, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to go! Just text me the details and I’ll be there x

You cringed. It didn’t sound like you at all. You hoped she wouldn’t notice and ask what’s wrong because you only wanted to talk to Yunjin about this at the moment. You considered calling her, but she already announced on the first day of her trip that the internet is really bad and she probably won’t be able to call or text much. Great.

To your surprise, Ningning didn’t notice your strange demeanor, texted you all the important information and before you knew it, you were standing in front of Choi Yeonjun’s apartment. You took the chance to actually style yourself for once, usually being too lazy to put in any effort to look good during the summer break. It did give you a boost of confidence, but you still weren’t sure if the party was a good idea.

And you realized it definitely wasn’t a good idea when you entered the apartment and the first thing you saw was Park Sunghoon standing at the other end of the hallway talking to a friend. As if he had a radar for you, he immediately locked eyes with you from across the hallway. You couldn’t read his expression but noticed how you stared at each other for a solid five seconds. Your skin burned under his gaze and you couldn’t hold eye contact any longer, quickly disappearing from his sight into another room. Ningning was quick to organize drinks for you and she did an amazing job at chatting you up, making you forget about your unplanned encounter with Sunghoon.

Of course, Sunghoon was at the party. What did you expect? He’s close with Yeonjun, and the fact that you couldn’t put two and two together before going to the party baffled you. But it was too late to run away now, and you decided to just try and ignore Sunghoon as much as possible. To your surprise, you really didn’t catch a glimpse of him for the rest of the evening. In fact, everything started to blur once Karina joined you and Ningning with a round of shots. Afterwards, you continued downing shots like no tomorrow and before you knew it, you were seriously drunk.

You did know your limit and you stopped once you noticed how close you were to feeling sick, but that didn’t change the fact that you developed some mobility problems. You decided to sit down in the living room, but the moment your body met the sofa you started dissociating. With no idea how much time had passed since you plopped yourself on Yeonjun’s sofa, you were only pulled out of your trance when you were met with four pairs of eyes in front of you. Your vision was blurry and when you tried your best to make out who it was, you regretted it.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Sunghoon asked, a worried expression painting his face. Ningning was next to him, she probably called him over because she didn’t know what to do. You blinked at him several times before you carefully picked your words, trying not to sound too drunk.

“Yeah, I’m great!” you yelled over the music with a smile, so loud that the people around you took notice of your state as well. Sunghoon sighed, he really wasn’t in the best state either, but he immediately sobered up a bit once Ningning asked for his help to get you home.

“Let me take you home, okay? Come on.” He reached out his hand for you and you had to focus really hard to be able to take it. Once you stood up you started swaying, noticing again just how much alcohol was in your system. Sunghoon detected your difficulty to simply stand straight as well, holding your lower arm to keep you from tipping over. He gently guided you to the door, mumbling something about how walking might be better for you to sober up.

The moment you went outside you took notice of the brisk air. It cooled down a lot and you were surprised how much it smelled like rain without actually having rained. You took a deep breath which helped you follow Sunghoon who kept a close eye on you. Whenever you were dangerously close to tripping, he would hold your arm to steady you and you quietly thanked him every time.

It was a long walk, and you didn’t exchange a word. However, it seemed to be a comfortable silence. You could feel tension between you two, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to discuss the depths of your relationship now. Yet, you wanted to test the water and whether there was bad blood between you two.

You decided to purposefully bump into him and when he looked at you in confusion, you just smiled playfully at him. It didn’t take him 2 seconds to reciprocate your smile and bump into you as a form of revenge. To his surprise, you still lost your balance faster than expected and almost landed face first on the ground. Sunghoon was quick to catch you and couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh God, sorry!” he let out a breathy laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, shaking your head to signal him it’s okay.

With a more lighthearted atmosphere you continued your descent to your home. It didn’t take you long to feel the cold air biting at your skin and with goosebumps grazing your body you confessed to Sunghoon that you felt cold. Unfortunately, Sunghoon didn’t bring a jacket with him either. Because his house was closer to Yeonjun’s apartment than yours, he offered to take you in for the night. Considering the tension between you, you were caught off guard by his offer, but accepted it nevertheless.

Once you made it to his house you rushed inside quickly. Sunghoon was home alone for the week because his parents and sister went to a holiday camp Sunghoon didn’t bother to join. You instantly felt home and realized how much you missed not only being by his side but also at his house.

“Is it okay if I shower?” you said, slightly sobered up but still a bit wobbly on your legs.

“Promise me you won’t drown?” Sunghoon asked sarcastically, there was a seriousness in his glance that told you he was only half-joking. You nodded in response and rushed to the bathroom.

When you got out of the shower you felt really hot suddenly, so Sunghoon offered to sit on the balcony for a bit. You sat down right at the edge, letting your feet dangle over it. Sunghoon joined you, not sparing you a glance but rather focusing on the clear sky above you.

You didn’t speak for a while, and you questioned whether it was a comfortable silence or not. You gulped nervously before you scraped together all the courage you had left.

“I’m sorry that I stormed out of your house the other day.”

You hoped your words didn’t sound too slurred and Sunghoon would understand it as a sincere apology and when you glanced at him you noticed how he smiled slightly, still not looking at you.

“It’s okay.”

A small smile crept up on your lips as you kept your eyes on him, examining his features. You never noticed until now just how pretty his moles are, they are a perfect addition to his face. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, but you were suddenly craving to be near him.

Even though there were unspoken words between you, you decided to shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but he relaxed under you quickly, keeping his eyes on the sky. You didn’t know how much his heart was racing, but yours was uncontrollably beating out of your chest as well. You never felt this nervous around him before and you blamed it on the alcohol and the overall tension. Your heart was beating so fast because you were scared to lose him, right?

After a while, you noticed him shifting beneath you, turning his head towards you. You did the same and only noticed then just how close your faces were to each other’s. You could feel his breath on your face and figured that it would only take a few millimeters to close the distance between you two. Suddenly you were hyper aware of his every move, noticing how his eyes flickered between your own and your lips. You ended up doing the same, taking notice of the way his lips slightly parted, letting out a nervous huff.

The tension between you felt insufferable and you didn’t know where the sudden urge to kiss him came from. Sunghoon was slowly closing the distance between you two, giving you enough time to pull away. When he noticed that you weren’t going to, he finally captured his lips with yours. The kiss was slow and cautious, as if he was afraid you would still change your mind. His soft lips grazed yours and you needed more, becoming intoxicated by his scent. When your hand went up to his neck, he took that as a sign to deepen the kiss.

You don’t know how long you’ve kissed, but you only separated to gasp for air quickly before connecting your lips once again. You never felt a bliss like this before and started exploring his mouth as if you’d have to remember it because he could disappear from your grasp at any moment. Soon enough, your hands were all over each other and you figured that the balcony wasn’t comfortable, so you moved to Sunghoon’s bed to continue your makeout session.

You situated yourself on his lap and his hands wandered to your hips straight away, keeping you in place. You felt like you weren’t close enough, so you moved forwards, brushing your clothed core against his, eliciting a small gasp from him. When you noticed how a bulge was forming underneath you, you moved again, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your hips tightening and guiding you on his crotch. The room filled with heavy breathing and before you knew it, you were dry humping him, feeling his erection grow beneath you.

Sunghoon quickly decided to attack your jaw and kiss down your neck, moving on to your shoulder while pushing the strap of your bra and top to the side to gain better access. You whimpered slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his ministrations. His hands were exploring every curve on your body and left behind a burning sensation on every part of bare skin he touched. When he reached the hem of your shirt again, he pulled away to look at you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face.

“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered, searching for any sign of discomfort in your eyes. Your pupils were probably as blown as his, telling him all he needed to know, but he only continued once you nodded eagerly. You never expected Sunghoon to make you feel like this, and you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried. So with your shirt gone, the rest of your clothes was soon to follow.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache, wincing slightly once you gained consciousness again. You did drink a lot, but you were still surprised how strong your hangover was. Taking notice of Sunghoon’s posters on the wall you didn’t think much, recalling how he brought you to his place because you were cold. However, when you noticed an arm around your waist, you froze. You slowly turned around to face Sunghoon, who was still dozing off next to you. Suddenly, you remembered what had happened last night. Images of you touching, exploring, feeling each other flooded your memory and your eyes almost popped out of your skull.

What did you do?! This wasn’t planned at all. You wanted to talk it out with him when the time was right and you both were sober again, not take it to the next level like this. Your breathing became uneven, and you noticed how a shiver ran down your spine.

As if on cue, Sunghoon stirred slightly, opening his eyes. When he looked at you still half-asleep, it was like he was staring at his most prized possession, and it overwhelmed you immediately.

“Good morning” he croaked out, voice still laced with sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. He closed his eyes again to stretch his body a bit, and when he finally opened his eyes fully to look at you, his expression dropped instantly. You just stared at him in shock and he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He did not like that look at all.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, totally dreading your answer.

“What happened last night?” you asked, a question that was totally useless to ask since you already knew.

“You don’t remember?” Sunghoon questioned, noticing how his blood started running cold.

“I do, I just-“ you couldn’t find the words to express your thoughts right now. The whole situation stressed you out again, and you felt like you took advantage of Sunghoon when you both weren’t stone-cold sober.

“You didn’t enjoy it?” The moment he asked that question, you felt his touch on your skin again, the way he was holding you so carefully as if you were made out of porcelain. No matter how you twisted and turned it, you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. You did, very much in fact. But you still didn’t want it to happen, not like this.

“I- I did. It’s just… I felt like it was a mistake.” You said as you were slowly getting up, his arm that was around your side flopping down on the bed.

Hearing that sentence felt like being shot right in the chest, and Sunghoon slowly got up as well, looking at you in disbelief.

“Why would you say that?” he prompted carefully, trying to keep calm while noticing how you were collecting your jeans from the floor and squeezing yourself into them. This scene looked oddly familiar and Sunghoon started panicking.

“It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this. I’m sorry, I think I should go,” you managed to choke out, feeling like your airflow was cut off because you were so conflicted.

“Don’t do this to me. Not again.” He said, his voice becoming strict, a tone he had never used on you before.

You really didn’t want to do this to him. Not again. But something in you told you that this was a slip up, that you shouldn’t stay there, that you made a wrong decision under the influence. You didn’t know why you were so eager to get out of there, because deep down you knew this was exactly what you wanted. You craved him, now more than ever, but you manipulated yourself into thinking this wasn’t right. In your mind, you were ruining a perfectly fine friendship by hooking up with your best friend after a few shots of alcohol. You completely ignored the fact that he made the move on you again.

Ignoring his advances, you kept getting dressed, ready to leave until you were stopped by your best friend.

“Y/N, stop.” Sunghoon warned, once again using the tone you only heard him use on Yeji when she was being naughty. You gulped anxiously, turning around to face him. He stood in front of you in only his sweatpants, his milky skin glowing in the morning sun. He looked ethereal, and you hated it.

“I don’t get it. You apologized to me, craved being near me and I had the feeling you were just as into it as I was last night. And now you want to run from me again. What is going on?” he demanded an answer, and you could hear how frustrated he was. He ran a hand through his hair waiting for your response and all you could do was sigh.

“I don’t know, Sunghoon. I need time to think, okay?!” you were getting agitated because you realized you had no argument against it. Yes, you wanted this, yes you enjoyed it. And yet, you were terrified of the consequences. Of how quickly this escalated. Of how easily you managed to turn your friendship upside down.

“So I was good enough for a fuck and now you’re gonna dump me again? Is that it?” Sunghoon spat, and you were shocked at how petty he was getting. You had never witnessed him that angry before, not even with Yeji. He did rage from time to time, but never like this. And the fact that his anger was directed at you made your skin crawl.

“God, no! Don’t make conclusions like that. I just don’t want us to ruin our friendship, is it that hard to understand?!” your frustration was reflected in your raising volume, making Sunghoon flinch slightly. When you waited for Sunghoon’s reaction, you were stunned to see that he was laughing. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he clenched his jaw, looking at you with a gaze so cold it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Well, sorry to break it to you, Y/N. We already did.”

You gulped again, your shoulders that you had unconsciously raised in the heat of the argument relaxing when you smiled bitterly at him and nodded, tears blurring your vision.

“That’s too bad then.” You said in an unexpectedly calm voice before turning around and slamming the door of his room, leaving him behind just the way you did two weeks ago.

When Yunjin rang on your doorbell, she couldn’t wait to recite her trip in every detail. Apart from the beautiful cities she visited, the boys she got to know in Italy were also something to talk about. There was so much to unpack from that trip that she announced a meeting of minimum 3 hours and told you to prepare snacks and drinks.

You were happy that Yunjin was finally back, especially after everything that happened between you and Sunghoon. There has been complete radio silence once again, since you were 100% sure he was incredibly mad at you and called your friendship quits after this. At first you were weirdly okay with the situation until it hit you a few days later that you guys had ruined your year-long friendship with some drunk sex. You were still in denial about him confessing to you and you reciprocating his feelings, instead you blamed the night you two kissed and jumped to base four right after for the end of your friendship.

The worst part for you was that you felt like you couldn’t go back. Even if you admitted that this was what you craved, even if you apologized for the ways you pushed him away even though you didn’t mean it, the way the recent events unfolded made it impossible to start a healthy relationship. Everything turned so messy so quickly that you felt like you lost control of the situation and now that you might be able to regain it, it’s too late. Sunghoon looked at you with a sense of disappointment you will never forget. It haunted you at night.

So, you were glad that Yunjin was finally back because you needed a shoulder to cry on. You missed her like crazy and you hoped she had a better summer break than you did so far to distract you from your misery. But with the way she proclaimed her return, you were sure she had a lot of funny stories to share.

What Yunjin didn’t expect when you opened your apartment door was how awful you looked. Hair disheveled, eyes glassy, the bags under your eyes looking alarmingly dark. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hide her excitement.

“Girl!” she screeched, embracing you before you could take a good look at her. The hugs she gave were always extreme, but they were especially tight when you haven’t seen each other in a while. Once she separated from you and took another look at you, she knew something was wrong.

“You look terrible, what is going on?” she questioned, fixing the strands of hair that were in the wrong place. The deep sigh you let out was more than worrying to her and you could tell she was on edge immediately.

“It’s a long story, tell me about your holiday first!” you tried to chime but the exhaustion in your voice was evident. You took the bag she brought with her out of her hand and went to the living room, settling on the sofa where she joined you.

“No, my recap can wait. What’s wrong?” she was quick to clarify. Another sigh from your side. Where to begin?

“I slept with Sunghoon.” Wow. That was the worst part to begin with. Congratulations. The way Yunjin’s mouth dropped and her eyes went wide didn’t help at all.

“WHAT???” she asked in disbelief. When she realized that you weren’t joking, she threw her arms in the air.

“Fucking finally! I told you, you two were meant to be together! How was it? Is he a good kisser? How did this even happen? Oh my God I’m so excited Y/N I need to know all the details! This is so good!!” Yunjin squealed and her excitement scared the shit out of you. How were you going to explain to her that this was nothing like she wished for?

She looked at you expectantly, but you only stared at her with an apologetic look. Her excitement died down soon and she mirrored your expression, a pout forming on her lips.

“Wait, it is not good?” It was a rhetorical question, really. If it was a good thing, you wouldn’t look this miserable and instead be glowing or something. You could tell the gears in her head were turning. Suddenly her eyes were widening again and she put her hands over her mouth in shock.

“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” This actually made you chuckle. Now she was thinking way too far.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.” You clarified, unable to hide your smile because you couldn’t believe how dramatic she was being.

“Then what is it?” she asked impatiently and you decided it might be best to start from the beginning. You recalled your last two encounters with Sunghoon, and you felt like Yunjin has never listened to you with such interest. A girl was invested.

When you finished Yunjin sighed heavily, her face dropping the more the story progressed. You had a pleading look in your eyes, begging for her advice.

“Girl, why did you make everything so complicated?” she finally asked and you were a bit appalled that she was attacking you.

“What do you mean, I did? Sunghoon started this.” You clarified, slightly offended.

“No honey, Sunghoon came clean about the feelings he’s been harboring for you for quite some time, something you’re still in denial about.” Yunjin pointed out and rightfully so. Sunghoon did what you couldn’t do: admit your feelings for him.

“But he shouldn’t have. We were totally fine and he had to make it awkward. The fact that we drunkenly slept with each other didn’t help at all.” You dropped your head in your hands. “I feel like we overstepped a line by having sex.” Yunjin was quick to shake her head.

“Y/N, you already overstepped a line when you started catching feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why you push him away like that when you like him too.” She reasoned, articulating your thoughts.

“I’m not sure if I really want this. We’ve been friends for so long, I need him by my side no matter what.” You replied, chewing on your lip nervously.

“So you’re scared that your relationship might not work out and you’ll lose him as a friend?”

“I think so. I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a stupid slipup. Maybe we mistake our feelings for platonic love and wouldn’t work out as a couple at all. And then we binned a totally fine friendship for no reason.” You noticed how verbalizing your worries really helped you deal with the whole situation. You debated this way too much on your own already, it was high time for another opinion.

“I get where you’re coming from. But you must view it from this perspective: You have the most important basis for a good relationship. Trust and good communication. Well, the latter until fairly recently at least. You hang out a lot and don’t get tired of each other. You can openly talk to him about everything. He’s always on your mind. There’s pretty much only the physical part missing. Which is why I need to ask if you didn’t enjoy it now that you got physically closer to him as well?”

It was like Yunjin was stating the obvious, but she helped you realize that there was not much to be afraid of. You felt safe around him and he felt safe around you and that was the most important thing. But you still were so hesitant, why?

“No, I definitely enjoyed it.” In fact, you’ve been thinking about nothing else but how soft his skin felt on yours and how pretty his lips are. And you felt like this made everything even more difficult, because there was still something keeping you from committing to him fully when there were so many indicators that you’re meant to be.

“Well then, you’re standing in your own way. I know you’re terrified that this might go wrong, but it will certainly go wrong if you don’t fix this. You both deserve to be happy. And personally, I think you’re happy if you’re together. Look what being apart from him does to you.” Yunjin pointed out, looking you up and down. You scoffed but knew she was right.

“I just don’t know how to fix it. I feel like it’s too late. He already waited too long and probably gave up on us.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You can’t just drop someone that quickly. He’s probably struggling just as much as you.”

“You did what?!” Jake asked in shock, similar to Yunjin’s reaction.

“I confessed, and she rejected me. Twice.” Sunghoon repeated, kind of embarrassed.

“Dude, I can’t believe this. I always thought she liked you back.” Jake furrowed his brows, pondering whether he had also misinterpreted your behavior. To him, it was clear as day that you both shared a mutual romantic interest in each other but were too shy to address it. So, when Sunghoon revealed what he had done, he initially got excited.

“Yeah well, I thought so too, especially since we had sex that one night after a party and-“

“You guys had sex???”

“Jake… ugh. Yes, we did. We were both a bit drunk though.” Sunghoon reasoned but the sparkle in Jake’s eyes told him it was to no avail.

“I’m impressed, not gonna lie. You confessed and then jumped straight to base four. Did you learn from me?” Jake couldn’t help but laugh, he found that situation way too amusing for Sunghoon’s liking.

“Man, what even is base four… anyway. The point is, she said she wanted this and also admitted she enjoyed it, but she basically fled the scene the next morning and hasn’t been reaching out since. I just don’t fucking know anymore.” Sunghoon ruffled his hair in frustration and let out a deep groan. Just the thought of you leaving him behind in his room shattered his heart into a million pieces.

He just didn’t understand it. He was on cloud nine when you nodded that you wanted this too, pupils blown wide and breathing uneven. He could feel your heart pounding like crazy, similar to his own. The way you were holding him gave him all the cues he needed to claim you as his. And yet, you slipped from his embrace hours later. What could there possibly be that kept you from being with him? All the signs were there that you felt the same. Or so he thought.

“Maybe she’s scared. You’ve been friends for quite some time, I wouldn’t want to throw that away lightheartedly either just because I was horny and drunk one night.”

“But I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. We worked perfectly fine the last couple of years as friends. We literally complete each other. What more could you want?”

“It’s still commitment, Hoon. Friendships are easier to keep and end than relationships. I think Y/N wants to protect herself from possible heartbreak by keeping you in the friendzone.” Jake reasoned, and Sunghoon wondered when he became so intelligent.

“So, we’re ignoring the fact that she is breaking my heart in the process?”

“Of course not. And it’s on you how much time you give her to make a decision. Do what’s best for you. If you feel like this drains you more than you could get out of it, it’s best to cut ties. You guys overstepped the line now anyway.” Sunghoon was surprised by Jake’s reply, it felt like the wisest advice he had ever given. When he told Jake about his feelings the very first time, his friend was less helpful.

Sunghoon felt like the world was caving in on him and he finally needed to break out of his shell, finally confide in someone what has been bothering him lately. Whenever you guys planned a meeting, he was more excited than usual to see you. And when he did, he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever you laughed. When you hugged or cuddled on the couch, he noticed how he always wanted it to last longer, for him to be even closer to you. Whenever you made a stupid joke and bickered with him, he couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying every second of being with you.

He didn’t know what was happening to him. It scared him that somehow, he wanted more from you than before. More attention, more laughter, more contact. You were on his mind 24/7. He started noticing the smallest things about you. How you changed your clothing style over time. How you did your hair a little differently, playing around with various simple but pretty hairstyles. He noticed overall how good you looked.

Sunghoon paid attention to details he never cared about before. He started complimenting you more because he felt like he needed to point out that he noticed whenever you changed something about yourself or put in that extra effort to get ready. And he was the proudest when you smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. Though, you soon stopped taking it seriously and figured it was probably just part of your bickering.

The way his feelings for you changed confused him and after a while of dealing with it himself, he finally needed another opinion. When he called Jake to ask if he could come over because he needed help, the latter was surprised, to say the least. Sunghoon rarely talked about his worries, and when he did, he talked about them with you and not Jake. So, what could it possibly be that made him choose Jake over you?

Oh yeah, well, that. Once Sunghoon laid out to Jake how he certainly noticed something shifted whenever he is with you he could only but chuckle, leaving Sunghoon with a perplexed stare.

“Nice bro, you finally noticed? You’re pretty much the last one to do so.”

“What do you mean?” Sunghoon asked, confusion written all over his face. Jake couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head at his oblivious friend.

Basically everyone had noticed how you two got a lot closer suddenly, which caused rumors to start spreading that you secretly started dating. Jake and Jay even had a bet going who asked the other out first and he couldn’t wait for Sunghoon to confess that he was in fact dating you.

Everyone had noticed. Everyone but you two.

“You got to be kidding me. You so obviously like her, it wasn’t necessarily hard to spot.” Jake pointed out, which made Sunghoon’s eyes grow big. He gulped nervously, unconsciously playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Do you think she knows too?” Sunghoon asked, his brows knit together. What if you knew and chose to ignore it? Talking to Jake made Sunghoon realize that the shift in his behavior around you correlated with a shift in his feelings for you. He liked you. And he knew he was screwed before Jake could answer.

“Nah dude. She probably is just as oblivious as you.” Jake clicked his tongue nonchalantly. That somehow made Sunghoon release a breath of relief.

“What do you reckon I should do?” Sunghoon questioned. He couldn’t believe he was asking Jake, a retired but previously notorious player, for dating advice. Only Chaewon was able to get him interested in the actual dating life, but he proved miserable at that. Chaewon could handle it, fortunately, but Jake wasn’t the best person to talk about feelings. He didn’t do those until fairly recently.

“I don’t know, just wait and see what happens.” Yeah, Jake was really useless in that field.

“You’re not helping.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Jake raise his hands in defense.

“Bro, what do you want me to say? Confess and run into a disaster because chances are she doesn’t like you back? I personally think it’s mutual by the way she behaves, but who am I to judge.” He reasoned and Sunghoon nodded understandingly.

He had no choice but to observe your behavior from now on to find any clue whether you like him too. Jake was absolute garbage at giving advice, but Sunghoon decided to cut him some slack this time since it actually seemed the right thing to do. Damn, what has Chaewon done to him?

Sunghoon answered the same back then as he did now.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

16 new messages in squaaaaad

Chaewonie ❤️: Guys, we haven’t had a cinema night in ages and they switched up the screening offer at our trusted cinema! How about dinner together with a cinema night as a squad now that we’ve all returned?

Hee Hee (seung): only if you promise not to make out with Jake three minutes into the movie

Ikeu: rude???

Ikeu: anyway, I’m in!

Meme Queen 😎: of course you are.

Ikeu: what’s with the disrespect today

Jjongsaeng: count me in too! dinner at our usual ahjumma? <3

Chaewonie ❤️: Obviously, I’ve been craving her Jjamppong the last few days!

DDEONU: I’m in too! so dinner’s on chaewon then?

Chaewonie ❤️: Dream about it Sunoo

Zuhaaa: count me in too

DDEONU: just checked the screenings, let’s go watch the new barbie movie!!

Hee Hee (seung): I changed my mind I won’t go

DDEONU: 😒

Meme Queen 😎: I’m in too by the way and I’m not a whiny little bitch like Heeseung so Barbie is fine

Hee Hee (seung) left the group chat

Meme Queen 😎: exactly what I’m talking ‘bout

You couldn’t help but chuckle at your stupid friends. Yunjin, who had her head in your lap, was similarly laughing at the text messages, especially when she added Heeseung back to the group chat and he started whining even more.

“Aren’t you going to write anything?” Yunjin prompted without looking at you.

“I don’t know if I’m going.” You admitted shyly, biting your lip. That made Yunjin turn her head to look at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Girl, don’t even think about cancelling.” She warned. You exhaled, throwing your phone away and running both hands over your face.

“Look, I just don’t want to make it awkward if Sunghoon is there.” You tried to explain, but Yunjin wasn’t buying it at all.

“Nah babe, we’re not doing that. Don’t destroy our friendship group because of something like that. Plus, it could be an opportunity to talk things out with Sunghoon.”

“If he joins.” You said absentmindedly. Yunjin clicked her tongue.

“And if he doesn’t then that’s on him and we’re going to have fun without him. But don’t ruin fun for yourself because he might be there. I know you want to go.” Ugh, you hated that Yunjin was (almost) always right.

“Fine.” You groaned.

Meme Queen 😎: I’m dragging Y/N along too

You cringed at the way Yunjin put it, but she wasn’t completely wrong. You weren’t too excited to go, because you had a bad feeling this could turn ugly if Sunghoon was to show up as well. Yes, it was a squad meeting, but you still had no idea how to act around him, let alone how he would act around you. Additionally, not everyone knew what went down. Yunjin had briefly updated Heeseung without too many details and you guessed Sunghoon might have told Jake, but other than that, no one was aware of the recent events. How awkward would that get?

Quite awkward. Sunghoon had announced that he would be coming as well, and since Yunjin already told everyone that you would be there too you had no way to back out of it. You persisted that you would show up together with Heeseung, too afraid that you might be the first to arrive and Sunghoon being second or the other way around.

To your surprise, Sunghoon was one of the last to arrive, very unlike him since he was always over-punctual. When you exchanged glances, a shiver ran down your spine. You tried to decipher his look but couldn’t, it held an emotion you had never seen before. You couldn’t hold his gaze either, quickly looking at Jake to greet him.

When Kazuha arrived at last, you went inside the restaurant to finally grab a bite. You only noticed then that you were starving, instantly plopping down on the first spot you saw. Yunjin sat down to your left and Jay aimed at joining you on your right, only to retreat while mumbling something about how Sunghoon is going to sit there anyway. It wasn’t intentional, Sunghoon and you always claimed to sit next to each other and sent grim looks to everyone who tried to get in your way. But this time was different.

Sunghoon and you exchanged shaky glances, still that undecipherable look in his eyes and with a small gulp, he situates himself on the other side of the table instead of next to you. This move earned confused glances from half the group, and you simply nodded with a sad expression coating your face. So that’s what we’re doing now, you thought. Great.

Thankfully, no one commented Sunghoon’s odd move and everyone sat down instead, Jay reclaiming the spot next to you. You could feel the tension at the table, something was in the air and everyone noticed. But no one dared to speak up. Those who knew just exchanged worried glances and those who didn’t simply looked confused. There was an unusual silence at the table before Chaewon finally managed to break the silence by asking what everyone wants to eat.

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and the whole situation drained you from the get-go. How were you going to survive the rest of the evening after such a bumpy start? You tried not to stare at Sunghoon too much and whenever you caught a glimpse of him looking at you, you panicked and looked away instantly. Sunghoon wasn’t any better, acting quite absentminded until Jake bumped him under the table. With a demanding glance Sunghoon knew immediately what he was trying to tell him. Jake, similar to Yunjin, made it clear that no fun was cut from the evening just because of your miserable situation. Sunghoon tried his best to join the conversation, but everyone could tell that something was weird.

After a rather awkward meal you made your way to the cinema, Yunjin linking arms with you as you tried to calm your nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. The fact that everyone noticed the tension between you and Sunghoon made you incredibly nervous and you figured that you had to talk about it sooner or later tonight.

When you reached the cinema and the mood was still off, your body acted faster than your mind. Without hesitation, you grabbed Sunghoon’s arm, who looked at you quite alarmed. With a gaze that conveyed “Can we talk?” Sunghoon quickly nodded and followed you behind the cinema. Yunjin and Jake quickly exchanged knowing yet uneasy glances when they saw you disappear behind the building.

Once you reached the backside of the cinema, you stopped in your tracks. Not noticing how you still held onto Sunghoon’s arm, only his verbal reminder brought you back to reality.

“You can let go now.” It scared you how cold he sounded. You didn’t know if it was the unusually chilly night or if his voice really lacked the warmth you were so used to. You realized that you had to face him sooner or later, back still turned to him. You knew that turning around and looking at him will most likely break you and you were right.

When you made eye contact, you kept seeing a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decode. You usually could guess his opinion on things or his overall mood by how he looked at you or others, but this was different. This was a look he had never worn before, and it scared you.

And you made another dreadful realization. Shit. You hadn’t prepared this conversation at all. You had brought him here and were now at a loss of words. He looked at you expectantly, obviously waiting for you to talk first since you were the one who dragged him there in the first place. Your brain was short-circuiting, so you blurted the first thing to pop up in your mind.

“Hi.” Mentally facepalming yourself, you closed your eyes and shook your head. Sunghoon didn’t react to that at all either, waiting for you to actually articulate what you want to tell him.

“Look, we need to talk.” Is all you could choke out in nervousness, your voice betraying you by breaking in the middle of the sentence.

“We do?” Sunghoon’s question caught you off-guard and you looked at him generally confused.

“Yes, don’t you think so?” you prompted in disbelief. Sunghoon shrugged.

“Oh I did, but you don’t strike me as the person who wants to talk about this anymore after last time.” He admitted and you cringed at his words. You realized at that moment that you did know that tone of his. He used that exact tone when breaking up with Eunchae, a conversation you overheard as he wanted you nearby when it happened. It’s the voice he uses when he’s built a barrier to protect himself.

He's built a barrier. The fact that he felt like he needs to protect himself from you emotionally ripped your heart out, but then again you couldn’t blame him. Everything you did made this a justifiable response. And you were to make it worse.

“Sunghoon.” You called out to him weakly and his gaze softened for a split second upon hearing you call his name in such desperation. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this, believe me,” you said while taking a step towards him.

He didn’t back off, and you took that as a sign to continue.

“I never wanted to lose you as a friend, the thought of it makes me sick, and I panicked when you suddenly confessed. I didn’t know how to act so I chose to run away.” You tried to explain your point of view and he patiently waited for you to continue, as if he waited for a specific sentence.

Tell him it was a mistake to run from him. Tell him you like him too. Tell him you want this too. For some reason, you just couldn’t articulate those feelings. For some sick, twisted reason, you still weren’t sure if this is what you really felt. You still didn’t come clear about your emotions, about whether your feelings for him are platonically or romantically coded. You felt like you still needed to find out.

With one more step forward, you closed the gap between Sunghoon and yourself. Without thinking this through you took his face into your hands, connecting your lips in a swift motion. Sunghoon seemed slightly taken aback by your action but responded to the kiss nevertheless, his arms immediately wandering to your waist. However, he was quick to break the kiss, tightening his grip on your waist to put some distance between you.

“What are you doing?” he questioned in a serious, slightly disappointed tone, his brows furrowed. You looked at him with big eyes.

“I’m trying to make things right.” You said weakly, feeling extremely small under his strong gaze.

“No, you’re testing the waters.” He said and gave your hips a small push to create more distance between you. Your arms fell to your side lifelessly, tears threatening to escape.

“No.” you tried to defend but Sunghoon was able to shut you down quickly.

“Yes, Y/N. I can tell you’re still not sure about this. So stop bullshitting me.” He said it calmly but it felt like he spat those words in your face.

“I don’t-“ you tried again but he interrupted straight away.

“Listen to me. If you can’t come clean about how you feel for me then that’s on you. But stop playing with my feelings in the process. For the sake of our year-long friendship, I think we should have at least that much respect for each other.”

You were absolutely speechless. The way he delivered those words to you, you felt like he wasn’t feeling any emotion at all. It scared you that Sunghoon, who was usually very vocal and expressive, could articulate something so dryly. Only then did you realized just how much you have fucked up.

You have hurt Sunghoon so much with your indecisiveness that he completely shut you out. Backed off emotionally from you. For him to say those things so easily, it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but there was nothing to protest about.

He was right, you played with his heart. He was nothing but honest with you and you rejected him not once, but twice. And now you thought a weak excuse and a kiss could fix it? Oh, how naïve you were.

Sunghoon saw you open your mouth to speak but he quickly shook his head.

“This conversation is over.” He announced, turning on his heels and walking away to the rest of your friends. This time, he left you behind and you started to understand how shitty it must have felt when you did it to him.

You stood there motionlessly, unable to move while trying to process what just happened. You were sure you deserved it for how you acted previously but you still didn’t know how to handle this situation. You tried your best to keep your tears in and collect yourself so you can get back to the group, but tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed quietly, hoping not to catch the attention of your friends.

In the meantime, Sunghoon made it back to the group alone, earning confused glances from the rest of your friends.

“Where’s Y/N?” Sunoo asked, brows furrowed because something was definitely off but he didn’t want to insist.

“Oh, she’s coming soon. Don’t worry.” Sunghoon said nonchalantly, but Yunjin and Heeseung exchanged concerned glances. Yunjin debated checking on you, sensing that whatever went down behind the cinema didn’t end well. She examined Sunghoon’s look, and he gazed back at her, as if challenging her. What is wrong with him? He never acted like this before.

Deep down, Sunghoon was sweating. He tried his best to act normal, to not let it get to him how absolutely gutted he left you there. But he couldn’t help himself. All the pain he experienced the last couple of days made him become petty. With Jake telling him to be careful not to hurt himself too much while waiting for you he decided it might be best to push his feelings to the back of his head.

The full ordeal was swallowing him whole. He wanted nothing but to hold you, talk to you, be with you, hear your beautiful voice through the phone, see your little frown whenever you complained about something. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t push any further after being rejected twice already.

On the one hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything right. He couldn’t go on pretending you were just friends when he has been falling for you harder the more time passed. Being honest to himself and to you was what you had unofficially promised each other and he wanted to keep that promise no matter what.

On the other hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything wrong. He caused this trouble by being selfish and pushing you towards a relationship you might not even want. You worked out fine, and one should never change a running system, right?

Wrong. He knew your friendship was doomed the first time he caught his heart skipping a beat upon seeing you, the first time he imagined what your lips would feel like on his own, the first time he hugged you for a second longer than usual because he didn’t want to let go just yet. But he hoped it wouldn’t end the way it did just now. He was pretty certain that this was it.

Even if you decided you felt the same, you probably wouldn’t come back to him after he delivered such a terrible line in the coldest tone he had ever used on anybody. He was scared of himself that he managed to treat you like this. That the harshest words he had ever spoken were directed to you

A few minutes later, you mustered up the courage to join the rest, having successfully dried your tears and calmed down enough for others to see you. When you turned the corner, you heard Sunoo scream for you in excitement, making Yunjin’s head snap towards you.

“Y/N! There you are, finally. Come on guys, let’s go or we’ll miss the first few minutes!”

You were quick to shoot him a smile, trying your best to hide the fact you just finished crying and had to control yourself not to burst out in tears again. Yunjin was immediately able to uncover your mask and shot Sunghoon another look, trying to piece together what might have happened back there.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly enough for only you to hear, and you were fast to brush her off by nodding, but she didn’t buy it. You shot her a look that she shouldn’t persist and she got the memo, following you inside without prompting another question.

When Sunoo finished buying all the tickets and wanted to hand them out in seat order, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether he should put Sunghoon and you next to each other after he already refused to sit next to you during dinner. Noticing the stiff air between you (which really wasn’t hard to do), he decided against it and instead sat you next to Kazuha and Heeseung.

By now, no one in your friend group was unaware of the fact that Sunghoon and you were fighting, but no one dared to ask and interfere. Nevertheless, every time someone looked at you, they shot you apologetic glances and you swore you needed to get out of there. You really weren’t in the mood to watch a movie now, especially not a bubbly one like Barbie.

When you plopped down in your seat, you didn’t even bother shooting Sunghoon a glance as he passed you to sit further down the row. Heeseung sat next to you, whispering something about that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable, but you just ignored him. At the moment, your mind was blank and you just wanted the evening to end. You prayed to the gods that the movie will make you forget at least for a short while how heartbroken you are.

It seemed to work for the first half, however as the movie progressed you noticed how you replayed the conversation between Sunghoon and you in your mind endlessly. You couldn’t help but let one tear after another roll down your cheek, trying your best not to gain attention by sobbing. You sniffed as silently as you could but Heeseung noticed nevertheless.

And so did Sunghoon. When he looked over to you and saw you crying, he felt a sting in his heart. He really tried not to cry alongside with you, but the view he had of you not being able to control your tears ruined him. He tried hard to focus on the movie, noticing how Jake was studying his behavior next to him. Sunghoon chose to ignore it for his own sake. Just like you, he wanted to go home as quickly as possible.

Once the credits started rolling, you practically jolted from your seat to get out of the situation you were in. Of course the rest of your friend group took an eternity to get up, collect their stuff and leave the cinema. As soon as the warm summer air hit your nose, you turned around to everyone, announcing that you didn’t feel well and will leave early. Without bothering to wait for a response you turned on your heels, practically running away from the group, leaving a worried Yunjin and Heeseung behind.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t just postpone the road trip until you figure things out?” Yunjin asked warily, wanting to make sure you really meant what you just told her.

“No way. Y’all waited so long for this! It’s our ritual as well. Please go, I just won’t join.” You clarified. You figured that after the cinema disaster, Sunghoon and you shouldn’t be in the same room for a while, not only for your own sakes, but also because it made the whole atmosphere awkward.

It was never your intention to affect your whole friend group with your problems, but here you were. You decided it was best for everyone if you were left out. You couldn’t see it since you were on the phone, but Yunjin shook her head firmly.

“And it’s also a ritual that we all go together. All of us. You included.”

“I get it, but I just don’t know how to act around Sunghoon and how he’ll act around me. I don’t want to ruin the trip for everyone.”

“Trust me, you will ruin it if you don’t come. Remember when Heeseung and Kazuha had a quick fling? The friend group didn’t break because of that either. Just act normal around him and you’ll be fine. You’re adults after all. I know you were so excited for the road trip, please don’t let that ruin the fun.” Yunjin tried to argue.

She felt slightly bad because it sounded like she was forcing you, but she knew that the squad road trip was your favorite part of the summer break. She was certain that this might be therapeutic for both you and Sunghoon. No way in hell would she let it happen that one of you left the friend group. She saw it as an opportunity to at least act civil around each other when in group settings.

“I know, I’m just scared to face him. What if I break out crying?” you played the worst scenarios in your head on how everyone would be annoyed by your whiny heartbroken ass.

“Then everyone will understand. The situation isn’t easy. And it’s okay to cry.” Yunjin reasoned. After the cinema night, everyone asked each other what happened between Sunghoon and you and the story spread like wildfire. When the first pitiful message from Chaewon arrived, you knew you were done for. You felt terrible for worrying everyone and you were afraid people were going to pick sides. To your relief, no one mentioned anything and left it to you two to solve the issue.

Yunjin noticed your hesitation and she could practically hear the way you wear nervously chewing your lip, so she sighed.

“Alright, listen. If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. We’ll understand. But I personally think it wouldn’t change anything if you stayed away. Unless you want to drown in your sorrows and don’t want me there to catch your tears. If you regret your decision it’s not my fault, just saying!”

You chuckled at her words. She was right, if you stayed home you would probably miss all of them and regret missing out on the fun. You promised yourself that you would try your best to act as normally as possible around Sunghoon. Still, the fact that you had to see him again scared you shitless.

Reflecting over the past few days made you come to the conclusion that you were incredibly stupid to deny him like that. You were angry at yourself that you couldn’t just admit that you liked him as much as he liked you. And even when you had another chance at making things right, you were still insecure whether it would be the right decision.

And now that you’re clear about your intentions, it was too late. Sunghoon ended the last conversation and you felt like it was final. There was no fixing now and no going back. So, you had to live with the fact that you ruined a potential relationship with your best friend who you had caught feelings for months ago. And no matter how you put it, it was a hard pill to swallow.

Little did you know that Sunghoon also regretted his decision. He came to realize that he might have been too harsh to you, that he reacted out of emotion and not reason. Sunghoon had never felt this strongly for anyone and it scared him, so he naturally thought he had to protect himself from potential heartbreak just like you tried prior. Guess you two were more similar than expected.

The more he thought about it, the more he understood where you were coming from. It was incredibly unfair how you treated him, but he started relating to it as he was going through a similar process now. Both of you made mistakes and both of you could have done better. What mattered now is how to fix it. And to say Sunghoon was terrified about his next steps was an understatement.

A couple of days later, you were all set and ready to go on the long-awaited road trip. You went over some requests with Yunjin, for example that you’d rather drive in a different car than Sunghoon so you won’t be stuck with him in a close space for hours. If you were in different cars, it would most likely be more comfortable for everyone involved, and Yunjin agreed.

You managed to squeeze yourself in the same car as Jay, who was driving, Heeseung, Kazuha and Chaewon. You were glad that you managed to get in Jay’s car because you believed him to be a better driver than Jake. Plus, Heeseung’s road trip playlist almost hit different, so you were in for a fun (and loud) ride.

Four hours passed by in a flash and you only realized that you arrived when Jay turned into the parking lot. Fortunately, the atmosphere in the car was lighthearted and you thanked yourself for making the decision to put yourself and Sunghoon in separate cars.

You also told Yunjin that you weren’t going to sleep in the same cabin as well, since that’s awkward. She respected that, assigning the cabins by gender anyway which earned groans from Chaewon and Jake who wanted to share one.

“You’re kidding right? The cabin is meant for 3 to 4 people, ain’t no way you’re going to do any nasty shit in there.” Yunjin scolded, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.

“We were just going to cuddle, calm down.” Chaewon defended with a glare and Yunjin scoffed.

“Yeah sure, like last year?” Yunjin laughed and both Chaewon and Jake turned red, exchanging guilty looks. You couldn’t help but snort, catching everyone’s attention including Sunghoon’s. It was the first time you exchanged glances that day and you instantly felt goosebumps rise up your skin.

Was he always that handsome? You had a feeling Sunghoon looked even better than usual, or you were imagining things because you had been idolizing him the past couple of days. The more you contemplated your friendship, the more you realized how perfect he was. Seeing him now just confirmed your theories. You had been absolutely blind the last couple of months.

You gulped and quickly looked away, unable to catch the small smile that was playing on Sunghoon’s lips. He loved seeing you have fun and hearing you chuckle made his heart swell. Sunghoon realized he’s been so stupidly in love with you that there was no way he wasn’t trying to fix whatever you had ruined. He just didn’t know how he was to do that.

Once you dropped your stuff inside the cabin, half of your group went straight to the beach. Yunjin caught up with you and bumped your shoulder playfully, making you laugh. Even though you still felt down because of the whole situation with your best friend, you were really excited and relieved that you decided to go on the road trip. The beach and the scent of salt water instantly gave you serotonin and the karaoke session you had in the car raised your mood as well.

“How was the car ride? Ours was pretty boring, everyone slept half of the time and I don’t think Sunghoon has said a single thing the entire ride.” Yunjin recited and hearing his name made your heart skip a beat. As if on cue, Sunghoon was running past you to catch up with Jake, sparing you a quick glance. You didn’t know how to react, so you simply turned to Yunjin furrowing your brows in question.

Sunghoon always claimed himself to be an introvert, but you knew that especially in your friend group, he was glowing and more talkative than ever. The fact that he was quiet, even today, worried you. Yunjin could tell by the way you bit your lip that you were contemplating something.

“Will you try and talk to him?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Your attention quickly shifted towards Heeseung who was picking up Chaewon like it was nothing, running with her to the sea and throwing her into the water despite her obvious protests. She screeched in panic and when she got out of the water, she scowled at him.

“Oh, you wanna get fucked up.” She announced, fixing him with a challenging look and you could see Heeseung’s eyes turning wide before she lounges herself at him. He was quick to dodge her attack, running away as fast as he can despite the water inevitably slowing him down. When he locked eyes with you, it was like he locked in a new target.

The glint in Heeseung’s eyes scared you and the moment he approached you, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Before you could object he was next to you, grabbing you by the hip and throwing you over his shoulder.

“You’re next.” He giggled and ignored the way you slapped his back and screamed for him to let you go. Unable to prepare yourself in time, you were suddenly being met with the cold ocean water engulfing your body. When you broke through the surface, you couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, a sound Sunghoon missed so dearly that when he took notice, his heart fluttered.

Even more laughter erupted from you when Chaewon kept her promise and surprised Heeseung from behind, pushing him underwater as well. The antics continued until you rescued yourself to the shore, Yunjin promptly throwing a towel your way. Jake was quick to catch Sunghoon’s longing gaze for you but decided not to blurt a stupid comment, instead smiling at the pining of his friend.

Once you settled down on the beach you stripped out of the shirt that you initially planned to keep dry, but Heeseung destroyed those plans. While wringing out the access water from the shirt, you observed how Sunghoon and Jake stripped out of their shirts as well, ready to join your other friends in the water. Upon seeing Sunghoon’s toned abdomen, you were instantly reminded of the night you shared together. It made your stomach twist knowing you could have had all this to yourself and let it slip from your grasp.

“Okay, now you’re just blatantly staring.” Yunjin commented with a click of her tongue and a chuckle, following your gaze. You were glad that the temperatures made your face blush already so Yunjin couldn’t detect the heat climbing up your cheeks.

When Jake noticed your fixated gaze on Sunghoon, he quickly whispered something to the latter, making him turn around in an instant to lock eyes with you. Your eyes widened immediately and you tried to be nonchalant about it, looking away quickly. Both guys smirked at that, making Jake lean into Sunghoon once more.

“What is that? You guys are acting like two teenagers going through puberty who are obviously crushing on each other but too shy to strike up conversation.” He pointed out and Sunghoon let out a deep, long sigh. If only it was that easy, he thought.

After you tired yourselves out in the water, you decided for a cliché bonfire to end the night. Sunghoon plopped himself down at the other end of the bonfire opposite from you, the flames almost swallowing your view on him. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, but you couldn’t help and steal glances from each other whenever you were roasting marshmallows. This didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Sunoo ended up judging you hard for constantly shooting heart eyes at each other from afar.

You actually hadn’t talked all day, it was silent pining from both sides and it made your friends go absolutely crazy. Could you finally get it over with?

Unfortunately, the pining continued the next couple of days, neither of you ready to approach the other. It was frustrating you, to say the least. You figured that it was his turn to come to you after he ended the conversation the last time. Additionally, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself again like you did at the cinema.

You couldn’t pinpoint the atmosphere between you two, it seemed somewhat stiff yet not as terrible as it was during the cinema night. Anyone could tell that you both reflected on your behaviors and had a different mindset from before, so it was just as frustrating for your friends to notice your constant pining. Sunoo judged even harder than usual.

Yunjin tried to talk some sense into you, but you swiftly refused to make the first step. She ruffled her hair in frustration while washing her face to get ready for bed.

“Y/N please. Put your pride aside for once, this isn’t going anywhere.” She nagged in a way that reminded you of a typical Korean ahjumma.

“Y/N I have to agree with Yunjin for once. This is absolutely nerve-wrecking for all sides.” Chaewon added, turning around in her chair and interrupting her skincare routine.

You groaned. Couldn’t they let you deal with that alone? The situation was hard enough as is, it didn’t help that eight people kept track of your every move on top of it.

In the cabin next to yours, the boys were similarly pushy towards Sunghoon, earning annoyed glances from him. Like you, it annoyed him how everyone was observing and waiting for one of you to make a move. He wanted to figure this out with you alone, not while a whole group of people was watching.

That night, the constant nagging from your friends made you spiral into overthinking everything again. You dissected your conversations with Sunghoon once more, not able to get a wink of sleep or even feel tired. The whole ordeal stressed you out to the point where you needed to let go a bit. Not wanting to bother your cabinmates, you snuck outside, making your way to the pier to sit down and watch the moon a bit. The warm breeze that tickled your nose made you inhale deeply.

Such a beautiful vacation that is troubled by Sunghoon and my relationship, you thought. You really made it difficult for yourselves. This could have been so easy and yet you chose to do it the hard way. You still wondered why your head blocked you from telling Sunghoon what your heart wanted all this time. Why it took you so long to let those feelings take over. Why it was met with so much denial from your end in the first place.

You were now more sure than ever that you wanted to have Sunghoon by your side. The thought of having to continue life without him scared you to bits and you hoped you would never have to experience the reality of it, even though there was still a possibility he wouldn’t let you in anymore.

The more you thought about it, the more overwhelmed you became. A single tear ran down your cheek, quickly followed by another until you were silently sobbing into nothingness, the vision of the moon in front of you becoming blurry.

The sound of footsteps approaching snapped you out of your daze and you quickly wiped your tears, thinking it was one of the lifeguards scolding you for being on the pier so late. You were about to utter a half-assed apology when you turned around only to be met with Sunghoon standing a few feet away from you on the pier.

Sunghoon couldn’t doze off either, staring at the ceiling when he picked up a shuffling sound outside. He silently got up, making sure not to wake the others, and went over to the window only to see you emerge on a journey to the pier. He didn’t know what came over him, but his feet moved on their own and before he knew it, he was at the pier too.

It felt like everything froze for a moment when you locked eyes, a concern shading his gaze that made you shiver. You didn’t know what to say, your heartbeat picking up from his mere presence. You never noticed the effect he had on you until this trip.

“I’ve never liked to see you cry.” He said softly, almost as if he was pitying you, but you knew how he meant it. You sniffed in response, turning around since you suddenly felt hyperaware about how ugly you must have looked right at that moment.

The wood creaked underneath Sunghoon when he approached you, slow and cautious as if he was afraid you would freak out otherwise. When he stood right behind you, he contemplated his next move, biting his lip nervously. Just like you, he hadn’t thought this through. Suddenly standing in front of you overwhelmed him, and he needed a moment to calculate his next move.

“May I?” he suddenly asked, pointing at the spot next to you. You didn’t dare look at him now that he was so close, so you simply nodded. From the corner of your eye you could make out how he was sitting down. Scared to make eye contact you focused intently on the clouds forming above you.

Silence engulfed you and the only sound you could make out is that of the waves crashing at the poles of the pier. You didn’t know how to strike conversation and he seemed similarly in thought of how to carry on. Suddenly you wondered if he wasn’t saying much because he was still mad at you, and the thought alone made you anxious. You sighed heavily, being overly curious all of a sudden.

“Will you ever not be mad at me anymore?” you spoke up carefully, afraid that this question alone will make him snap. He turned out to be very calm, though. You didn’t know if that soothed your nerves or freaked you out even more. Sunghoon had the faintest of smiles playing on his lips.

“I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed and confused because I couldn’t figure you out.” He explained, making you scoff.

“I couldn’t even figure myself out, how were you supposed to?” you turned to him with curved eyebrows, and it was the first time on the trip that you saw him this close. The look in his eyes held something you couldn’t quite pin down again, but this time, it was much softer. It calmed you down, sending an exciting shiver down your spine.

His smile grew upon your rhetorical question and you swore he never looked better. You loved seeing him smile, seeing those dimples forming. You couldn’t help but mirror his expression, silently exchanging words you didn’t dare to speak out loud. You noticed how this situation calmed you down and made you incredibly nervous at the same time. You didn’t know where this was going.

Your smile dropped suddenly, and so did Sunghoon’s. He furrowed his brows softly, and you wished to flatten the crease forming between his eyebrows. Anxiety glossed over your eyes and you decided to be honest with him.

“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” He nodded understandingly and it looked like relief washed over him. For a moment he got terrified, thinking that you might turn him down once more. It wouldn’t make sense, but nothing made sense to him anymore anyway.

“I’m scared too.” He admitted, looking down at this hands that he was fidgeting agitatedly. You couldn’t describe it, but he looked tense and relaxed at the same time. Tensed because he was fearing ultimate rejection, relaxed because no matter what, your presence eased his mind.

Your mind suddenly threw you back to everything you two had been through. Several tragic exam seasons, friends of yours moving away, petty fights in the group chat over something completely stupid and reconciliations joined by tears and hugs, heartbreaks on both ends and comfort when each other’s grandparents died. You had survived so many tragedies together, so there was logically speaking no way you could not overcome this one.

Realization hit you that it was now or never. You had to tell him how you feel, honestly this time. No hiding, no beating around the bush. You forced yourself to say the words you were scared of for so long.

“I like you.”

It took Sunghoon’s head only a millisecond to snap towards you, as if he had to make sure what he heard was really what you had said. You locked eyes again and the way his gaze changed almost made your heart jump through your chest. He looked like he had finally heard the words he wanted to hear from you for such a long time. The only thing he ever wanted to hear from you.

Sunghoon was malfunctioning because now that you had finally confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. As stupid as it sounds, because he had more than enough time, he didn’t prepare for this scenario. Not even in his daydreams did he play this scene out in his head. He had always skipped the awkward confession and jumped right into the domestic relationship stuff.

Sunghoon gulped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. There was only one right answer, and he knew it.

“I like you too.”  

The sparkle in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon when he uttered those words again, the words that had left a bitter taste in your mouth when he rushed them out for the first time. But now all your stomach could do is hurt from all the butterflies, the look in your eyes finally reciprocating those of the boy in front of you.

You sit there for a moment, basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you were on the same page about this after all. You were scared that Sunghoon will never want to speak to you again, and right now you couldn’t be happier that he decided to approach you one more time, giving you the chance to rebuild your relationship on a different level.

After a while of staring at each other and taking in each other’s confession, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter together. This whole ordeal was so stupidly romantic despite the bumpy start and you had a hard time trying to contain your amusement.

“We should have done this the first time already.” You admitted, shaking your head at the painful memory of Sunghoon scaring you away with his revelation. Sunghoon couldn’t help but raise his brows at you in disbelief.

“Yeah? Well, whose fault was that?” he challenged and guilt glossed over your face, your lips forming a pout. The boyish grin he was wearing only grew wider.

“Stop blaming me, I know I fucked up.” You acknowledged, dropping your head in shame. Sunghoon was quick to shoot a hand under your chin, making you look up at him again.

“We both did. It’s fine.” He reassured with a smile, and you could only do so much as copy it. Silence took over once again, his hand slowly dropping from under your chin, landing on your own. You noticed that Sunghoon was pondering over something, and the mischievous smirk that was forming didn’t help.

You threw your head back in agony. He was getting playful again and you hated loved it.

“Oh boy, what is it now?” you were careful to ask, not sure if you really wanted to know what was on his mind right now. Sunghoon cleared his throat.

“You know, I just think it’s funny that you told me to get laid and then turned out to be the person to do it shortly after.”

Yep, you didn’t want to know what was on his mind. He chuckled and your face ran pale upon hearing him. You groaned in frustration, hiding your face in your hands in embarrassment. Your shy reaction made Sunghoon laugh even harder, throwing his head back in his usual manner and he couldn’t help but tease you a bit since he hadn’t done it in a while. Seeing your agitated look was enough to satisfy him.

You were so immersed that you didn’t notice the wind picking up speed and the clouds thickening. Only when an especially strong breeze almost swept you from the pier did you realize that a storm was coming.

“I think we should go.” Sunghoon nodded in agreement and the moment you got up, you felt the first drop of rain hit your face.

It wasn’t the last one for sure and before you knew it, it was pouring. You quickly came to the conclusion that running to the cabins would be too far, so you opted for the little lifeguard hut near the beach instead. The cold rain hitting you made your legs carry you to the hut even faster, unconsciously intertwining Sunghoon’s hand with yours.

You yelped a little when he pushed you forward, motioning you to hurry up since the rain was hitting you at high speed now. Whatever you expected from tonight, it was not going to bed soaking wet. But it also wasn’t Sunghoon and you to reconcile. You win some, you lose some.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the small veranda in front of the hut. Thankful that the porch had a canopy, you breathed heavily and relaxed against the walls of the house. You glanced at Sunghoon and noticed that he was completely drenched from head to toe. Much to your dismay, you realized that you were just as soaked. But the moment you caught each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but giggle again.

The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t be happier right now. You watched as the rain only poured harder, so you had no choice but to stay under the canopy for a while.

You noticed Sunghoon was struggling with his hair, one strand always falling into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand shooting up towards his face to fix it.

“Here, let me.” You said, fully turning to him while he did the same. Instead of fixing it, you ruffled his hair even more, causing several strands to drop in front of his eyes. Despite the hair covering his eyes, you could feel the unimpressed look he probably gave you. You snickered and proceeded to actually fix his hair this time.

Once you finished tugging his hair back, you noticed how much he was staring at you. You slowly retracted your hand from his hair, trying to decipher his look. Nothing but love, you concluded, and it was confirmed once he opened his mouth to speak.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. The longing in his eyes almost made you faint and without a second thought, you pushed yourself forward to connect your lips. It took you only a second to melt into him, lips moving like they had always belonged together. Sunghoon’s hands were quick to find your waist again while yours wandered around his neck.

“Closer.” He whispered against your lips, pulling you towards him by your waist, close not being close enough as his lips worked wonders against your own. You were trying to lean back to catch your breath, but Sunghoon didn’t let you, chasing after your lips relentlessly as if he had to make up for something. Your back was arched and Sunghoon towered over you, making you feel even smaller.

You couldn’t help but let your hand wander into his hair, scratching his scalp slightly, which elicited a small gasp from him. Taking the opportunity, you let your tongue slowly dance against his own and he was quick to follow along.

Sunghoon only broke apart from you when he felt like suffocating, pressing his forehead against yours to catch his breath. You opened your eyes slowly, instantly being met with his own. You had never felt so cherished before, so adored. The moment you caught him staring at you with the most loving gaze, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile which he quickly mirrored.

Time seemed to stand still, the rain only a faint background noise as you basked in each other’s presence once again. The kiss and your gazes held so much emotion, so much you two wanted to share with each other earlier but couldn’t. But no matter how chaotic things got at the beginning of the summer, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.

“Do you really think we need to take pictures?” A hushed whisper could be heard from one of the cabins.

“Of course! The others wouldn’t believe us if we just told them.” Another voice responded, almost drowned out completely by the rain.

“We’re going to tease them about this to no end, are we?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Masterlist

[sunnywalnut]

Finished watching Dead Boy Detectives. Here are my honest thoughts.

-If you're going into it expecting another Good Omens, stop. Our protagonists are all minors. Teenagers. They cuss, they have total dirty mouths and sexual humor, but they are not eternal beings pretending to be middle aged men. They're ghosts. Dead Boys, if you will. Also this might be a stretch, but I'm assuming from the slightly less good CGI that the budget for this series was a LOT less than what it was for GO

-Edwin is kind of a dick in the first episode. But it's okay. Because character growth is swag.

-REALISTIC CHARACTER GROWTH!!! I liked Edwin a LOT more during the second episode BECAUSE of the character growth. And honestly? It's completely natural that bro is more than a little prickly after only being able to trust one guy for an extremely long time. Fair enough my guy. Carry on.

- this show kinda has Nimona vibes. If that makes sense. Witty humor, somewhat sexual dialogue, funny moments during serious times, though geared towards a younger audience. If you like those kinds of things, you will like this, I'm sure of it.

- In the early episodes, the pacing/character relationships feel a little off??? I'm not sure if that was because I was expecting another Good Omens or what. But after 2-3 episodes, the dust quickly settled and we got into the actual storyline. Which was extremely appreciated✨

-these villains are FUCKED up. I'm telling you. They are HORRIFIC. Had me squirming and cringing through their intense scenes. And gosh. That was a TRIP.

-TY TENANT PLAYS THE MAIN GUY EDWIN!!!! And he plays him WELL. I did not realize this going in to the show and thought his face was VERY familiar. Only after I looked it up did I realize why. He's our sassy son of Job. (EDIT: turns out Ty plays the Doom Patrol version. Not the one on Netflix. My bad! They do look pretty similar though, so ykw. Great casting. Also my point still stands. This guy is a pretty fuckin awesome actor. 10/10)

-Cat King is such a wild card holy SHIT.

-Charles is cute as fuck. His backstory HURTS. But also. I love the way his ears look. Like in the pictures that I saw of him they were of when the Cat King impersonated him so I was like oh chill. So he's got pointed ears bc feline but NOPE. He's just like that!! And honestly? Slay. I fuckin love it.

-oh did I mention tragic backstories???? Yeah we got those :D for everyone :D

-Niko is the best and I love her. Also I love how the letters on her desk are written in Japanese. That is a VERY nice touch of character building.

-hot butcher lady with throat tattoo

All in all. A truly delightful series and I genuinely hope it gets another season because I NEED to know what happens next. My little sister LOVED it and the ending had us all staring open mouthed at the TV screen in shock.

This 15yo girl is literally ranting my ear off, having adventures with the Dead Boys in her dreams and chatting with me about it, searching up fanfics and drawing fanart, the whole shabang. And it is DIFFICULT for this girl to get into shows like this. So honestly? This is perfect. Thank you, Neil. For giving us a whole other banger.

That being said. If anybody else has some younger siblings that are around 15-17 and are looking for shows to binge watch together, this is the perfect one. I'm telling you, you will NOT regret it (except maybe emotionally)

Thoroughly recommend.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

That post about Higuchi Kouhei and his cat got me thinking about some other tokusatsu-to-BL pipeline actors that are on current or recent BLs, so I thought I'd do a screenshot post about Kamen Rider Revice, a recent toku series that features two lead actors who star in current BLs, plus an actor in a smaller role who was part of a side couple in a BL series that recently completed a second season.

The main character of Revice is Igarashi Ikki, played by Maeda Kentaro, currently playing Ohara Yamato in I Can't Reach You. His siblings are very central to the story as well--by the end of the series, the story is centered around his whole family. Ikki's younger brother Daiji is played by Hyuga Wataru, currently playing Yamasuge Ryuiji in If It's With You.

Here they are having a bath in the opening credits for the show (the Igarashi family runs a public bath house).

I should say at the outset that I can't entirely recommend Revice, especially to folks who don't already have some tokusatsu-watching under their belts. It's a hot mess in a lot of ways. But it does have some really outstanding highlights. The best aspects of the series, in my book, were:

Kagerou (Daiji's demonic alter ego),

George Karizaki (my beloved),

Igarashi Sakura/Kamen Rider Jeanne (the most formidable female Rider I've seen in any series in the franchise), and

the relationship between Sakura and Natsuki Hana (a rare example of a convincing Sapphic ship in a franchise well known for "heated drama between men").

I'm not going to get into 2 and 3 here, as tempting as that would be, but I'll include as much of 4 as time/space permits.

It might seem weird that I'm not recommending a series with some of my favorite characters in the entire Kamen Rider franchise AND a relationship between girls that is a hair's breadth from being canonically queer. It's just too much of a trainwreck to endorse as a whole. But as I said, the highlights are really something.

One of the biggest issues I had with Revice was that Ikki, the protagonist, just isn't a very compelling character. As a result I don't think Maeda Kentaro really got to show the range of his acting abilities in this series. (This just makes me more curious to see him in ICRY. From the excerpts I've seen so far, it seems like he shows a really different side of himself.)

Maeda appreciators might still enjoy the many determined faces and creepy smiles he gets to dish out in this series. Here's a sampling.

It's possible they'll want to look away when he starts doing things like this, though.

Fans of both Maeda and Hyuga might enjoy some of their scenes fighting side by side, including doing their various henshin poses (the moves they do before they transform into their masked Rider forms).

Or when they do things like this bonkers flying kick.

Thankfully, Daiji is a more interesting character than Ikki, so Revice gave Hyuga some more challenging things to do. I thought Hyuga also just really made the most of every opportunity the show presented to him. He was seriously impressive. This is the reason I was sold on IIWY the moment I saw the announcement about it based solely on Hyuga's involvement.

Here's a sampling of Hyuga as Daiji.

In addition to playing Daiji, Hyuga also played Kagerou, Daiji's aforementioned demonic alter ego. Kagerou was formed from thoughts and emotions that Daiji repressed. The biggest of these was his resentment toward Ikki. But apparently Daiji had also been repressing a desire to be a somewhat gender non-conforming goth, because that's Kagerou's other raison d'etre.

In some ways, it's hard to imagine a character more different from Ryuji. If they have anything in common, it's the fact that they both place a high value on honesty.

One other thing that's worth noting about Hyuga's work on Revice is that he was only 17 when the show premiered. He showed major dramatic range in this part, not only playing two very different characters but doing everything from low-key nuanced scenes to bombastic high drama. Not to mention the stunts! Doing all of this at 17 is seriously remarkable.

Now for our bonus dude! There's a secret evil-fighting organization called Weekend that secretly keeps tabs on the Igarashi family for years before coming out of hiding to join the big central battle of the series. One of the Weekend operatives is Ushijima Hikaru.

Look familiar? Maybe not, he didn't make faces like this on his BL series.

How about now? Yep, it's Oku Tomoya, who plays Hanabusa Asuka on both seasons of Minato Shouji Coin Laundry.

Oku has some big scenes and interesting moments in Revice. He does some romantic pining, goes through big-time loss, does quite a bit of martial-arts sparring, gets seriously injured, and more. He even gets to henshin a few times. Here he is getting ready to do just that with Sakura and Hana. Those Weekend uniforms are pretty hardcore in a 70s flight attendant sort of way, but I feel like Oku really sells it here.

While we're on the subject of Sakura and Hana, I feel like I can't mention their relationship without including some moments where their story came particularly close to tipping into full-on yuri.

If you're going to do an enemies-to-lovers story, why not make them full-on superhero nemeses?

The word "date" might not technically get used by the characters, but there's no mistaking that the amusement park hangout Sakura invites Hana on--while she is still a fully-functioning bad guy, I might add--is definitely a date.

Most of the time when a Rider beats their nemesis for the final time they don't hold each other tenderly in the sunset.

By the end of the series, they're in a big tub together at the Igarashi's bath house.

There are tons more examples but you get the idea. If this isn't borderline-yuri I don't know what is.

[blowmyloadd]

| MLP HEADCANNONS

contains: sexualities, ships (don't come at me just my opinion), random stuff, rivalries (don't come at me just what i think)

notes: this is my first post and i literally don't know how to use any of the tools so help a girl out🙏🙏. also me and my cousins have been OBSESSED with mlp lately and i wrote these at 2am so there might be some typos. these may be inaccurate cuz im just going off of when i watched the show at 8 yrs old (i know i should watch the show, just keep forgetting LMAO). so ya enjoy these lmk if you want more!!!!:)

twilight:

- [👾] is bisexual, she prefers girls because they're less "slobby" but if she met a well groomed guy then she would consider it

- [👾] is def on booktok but doesn't recommend or read "spicy" books

- [👾]she smells like a fresh book

- [👾] has like a million hair products but only uses like 2

- [👾] def wears clean girl makeup

- [👾] she hates apple jacks and dashes way of life but she puts that hatred aside for her friends

- [👾] she likes to say she's an independent woman but if she has to do yard work (other than gardening) she would literally disintegrate

- [👾] she hates getting dirty and takes 2 showers a day

- [👾] she always smells applejack and rainbow dash (HEAVY ON DASH) and thinks they smell like bounce that ass (pls get the refrence) but never tells them anything

-[👾] her and rarity are the duo that talks shit about everyone else

- [👾] she has reading glasses

- [👾] is a swiftie and her favorite era is reputation (she thinks she's such a bad boy for liking it)

~~~~~~~~~~

rarity:

- [💎] straighter than a ruler

- [💎] if she ever meets a gay girl she always says "well don't get a crush on me!!😂😂"

- [💎] is literally so stuck up omg

- [💎] she also is very clean and takes 2 showers a day

- [💎] doesn't listen to music but if she does it's ether taylor swift or classical music

- [💎] she hates how dirty dash and apple jack are and talks about it to twilight

- [💎] she secretly hates rainbow dash cuz she gets more attention that her

- [💎] attention whore

- [💎] IS racist but literally doesn't know/passive aggressive about it. like she would order fried chicken for her black friend without warning

- [💎] has a million different smell good products and uses them ALL

- [💎] smells like roses

- [💎] def wears heavy eyeshadow and red lipstick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rainbowdash:

- [🌈] is a lesbian but denies it

- [🌈] gets ALL the hoes

- [🌈] listens to rap and dad rock

- [🌈] she gets flustered when girls hit on her but she acts like she's not interested

- [🌈] def the most woke person (other than pinkie pie)

- [🌈] her and apple jack are like 🤞

- [🌈] is not ashamed to speak up for herself when they get her order wrong at a restaurant

- [🌈] is SOOOO competitive

- [🌈] helps apple jack at the farm a lot

- [🌈] thinks fluttershy is a pussy and hates that she speaks so low (THIS SOUNDS SO MEAN WHAT WAS 2AM ME ON??😭😭)

- [🌈] doesn't get the concept of being afraid, having anxiety, or being jealous

- [🌈] if anyone starts talking bad about themselves in front of her she starts agreeing with them and reveals all of the things she hates about that person

- [🌈] is so brutally honest it hurts

- [🌈] sleeps with a stuffed animal and hides it if anyone comes over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

applejack:

- [🌾] sometimes kisses her parents on the mouth and all the rest of the ponies are like 😨

- [🌾] LESBIAN 100%

- [🌾] emabraces the fact that she's a girl kisser and sees no wrong in it

- [🌾] is literally so aggressive all the younger ponies are TERRIFIED of her

- [🌾] her sister (or sisters idk how many siblings she has) keeps trying to convince the other kids that apple jack is actually a sweetie pie

- [🌾] apple jack tries to win over the children by buying and making them things but always ends up making them scared again

- [🌾] has a crush on rainbowdash but doesn't tell her because she doesn't know if she's 🏳️‍🌈 or not

- [🌾] if she knew dash was a girl kisser she would def tell dash she liked her

- [🌾] her and her brother are so close like it's crazy

- [🌾] when she was little she accidentally choked on an entire apple and was rushed to the hospital. she had a fear of apples for like 5 years after that

- [🌾] knows that twilight and rarity talk shit about the other ponies and hints to them that she knows

- [🌾] is literally a heart throb for all the girl kisser ponies in pony land

- [🌾] all apple jack has to do is address to another girl as "ma'am" and the girl is already pregnant (past me what was you on!!😟)

~~~~~~~~~~~

pinkie pie:

- [🎈] is so into raves

- [🎈] has tried coke, heroin, shrooms, and literally everything else

- [🎈] has been caught drinking by the other ponies and had no shame in it

- [🎈] has been in rehab

- [🎈] would 100% be one of the most aggressive ponies (apple jack and rainbow dash being the most aggressive)

- [🎈] plans EVERY SINGLE party, funeral, if it involves planning pinkie pie is ON IT!!

- [🎈]def pansexual, has no preference

- [🎈] doesn't do anything to her hair, thinks it's a waste of time.

- [🎈] for that reason her hair is always frizzy and or tangled, rarity is REPULSED by it

- [🎈] pinkie pie thinks her and rarity are best friends and rarity plays along and tries so hard not to laugh at her

- [🎈] if pinkie pie ever found out rarity and twilight were talking smack she would smack them into oblivion

- [🎈] if anyone was messing with ANYPONY in her vicinity she would roast the living hell out of them, like they would need medical help after.

- [🎈] listens to scene, hyper pop, 2000s, normally but when she's sad she listens to mitski. only mitski.

- [🎈] smells like candy, like sometimes it's intoxicating how sweet she smells

- [🎈] has a crazy side to her, not like in a millennial way but in a "i'll rock your ass and make you bite the curb if you talk shit about me"

- [🎈] goes to raves and concerts with rainbowdash on the daily

- [🎈] has once tried to hug twilight by jumping on top of her and twilight punched her. she had her teeth knocked out of her skull. not literally but twilight punched her pretty hard

~~~~~~~~~~~~

fluttershy: (why isn't there any yellow omg)

- [🦢] is literally such a sweetheart but it makes dash mad at how slow and low she talks

- [🦢] has tried to tame a tiger but it didn't like her for some reason and almost got killed (apple jack saved her)

- [🦢] she thinks every pony and every animal likes her but everyone's just nice to her because she doesn't know any better (WHAT THE HELL LMFAO)

- [🦢] 100% has autism

- [🦢] listens to laufey, mitski, lana, clairo, and girl in red while painting or some corny ass shit like that

- [🦢] sings to the birds every morning and dash holds back the urge to hit her

- [🦢] apple jack quite enjoys fluttershys early singing because it gets her up in the morning

- [🦢] goes to sleep with all her stuffed animals on her bed and wakes up with all of them and the blanket on the floor, she doesn't know how.

- [🦢] walks (or struts or whatever the horse version is) outside and all the birds and animals immediately latch onto her

- [🦢] rainbow dash DESPISES her but has literally no reason to (me too girl) (ifykyk)

- [🦢] her room is so coquette its crazy

- [🦢] smells like vanilla and coconut

- [🦢] is a lesbian and like FULLY fem

- [🦢] once she tried to help apple jack on the farm and ended up getting one of her wings caught under a pile of hay (somehow)

- [🦢] when someone falls in front of dash applejack, and fluttershy, rainbow dash and apple jack start laughing but fluttershy cusses them out and helps the person up. (dash and applejack are left speechless by this)

- [🦢] so has a crush on rainbowdash

- [🦢] loves everything pink

- [🦢] her wallpaper on her phone is her favorite animal (she hides it from the other animals worried they might think she picks favorites) (she absolutely does)

- [🦢] when someone litters she picks up the trash and hands it back to the person

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i reread these before editing them and omg what was i on😭 i had to delete like 5 of these cuz they were absolutely ABSURD

but omg lmk if you want more and give me your thoughts on these i would love to hear them

OK BYEBYEBYE🫀🫀

[slowfae]

Games to use for face claim + designing dr houses, waiting room, etc

Life Simulation are great to well…simulate your dr and offer visuals for your shifiting script. I did a post like this in the past, it was one of my very first one, so I thought I would update it.

-Inzoi

I just tried it and it’s kind of what prompted this post. it’s great, more on the hyper realistic side, except the eyebrows colour on the female character wouldn’t change colour in my game but for the male model, it was working fine ? I have no idea how it works, but this is just a demo, not the final game. For some reason I couldn’t change the features on the child model either, I tried to do my younger siblings and nothing was moving.

The different life stages are here (no teens and no toddlers though but there are three adult life stages) and i thought the elderly looked really great. I definitely encourage you to try while the demo is on. You can see below my attempt at my dr Dad and grandma (I did try to do me, but the dark eyebrows are throwing me off, especially because I have close to no eyebrows irl)

The demo is just the character creation but I think the build mode for apartment and house might just dethrone the sims 4 for me. Although i love making fantasy houses with the sims so maybe not.

But I saw a video about the build mode and apparently you will have the ability to scan in 3D objects in your house and put them in the game, which sounds absolutely crazy !

I will also just mention paralives here, who looks interesting especially the building mode, but it’s not out yet when I’m writing this.

- the sims 4

As long as you are ok with the cartoonish style, I think it’s still a good option. Especially since mods exist and there is a way to make your sims look hyper realistic with them. Normally I don’t like alpha ccs personally , but If the goal is to make a face claim/ body claim and you don’t care your sim looks off with the rest of the game, why not?

I love building in the sims 4, i didn’t build anything in a while though. I always recommend downloading the base game since it’s free and download cc, there are tons of good one. The expansion packs are so expensive and often not worth the full price imo, especially if you’re like me and not really interested in playing in life mode.

I do think it’s a fun way to channel your dr though, by seeing how your dr sims interact with each other ( I did it for a little bit, got a lot of unexpected things happening)

- Life Makeover

The game is free, as long as you’re not weak with gacha games. I don’t spend too much, because I feel like there is enough possibilities with the outfits you gain by playing, so I’m fine not finishing limited sets. The last mermaid set was a close one, ngl but the universe heard my prayers and I got the mermaid tail with the gems I already had, so I’m not paying to pull more.

Anyway, the character creation is the best one I know. The style is in between realism and cartoony. My profile picture is made with that game. Bigger, animated like eyes look better on the character in my opinion, but I definitely saw very realistic looking characters made by people more talented than me lol. It’s one of the only game I own where I can make myself pointy elf ears and it’s very important to me lol.

Only down side for face claim is there is no male model. Then again, there is always way to work around it by making the character look more androgynous (kind of unrelated but I think there would be a market for male dress up games, they should think about it)

The big plus though is to get inspiration for your dr wardrobe ! I might have spent a whole day screenshotting my favourites piece of clothes + styling some outfits to put into my script 😂

I think it’s especially great for idol / K-pop or even celebrity dr with the style of the outfits, there is also things that would work for a fantasy/royalty dr.

Since I am talking about my addiction for dress up games once again, for fantasy outfits I also use Shining Nikki, but it doesn’t have a character creation which is why it’s not officially on this list.

Life makeover on the right, Shining Nikki on the left

Surprisingly, there is also a house building mode, which looks really great imo but definitely more limited than the sims (doing cool roofing is a nightmare in this game because the roof doesn’t disappear inside a room like it does in the sims 🥲) . Here is one of my waiting room as an exemple, my mermaid retreat:

- Baldur gates

Now, I’m starting with games I haven’t tried yet. Baldur gates is on my list but I’m waiting to have money to spend for it, and to have time to spend hours obsessing over a new game, which I don’t really have either right now 😂

The character creator looks incredible for fantasy drs. This is the kind of game where you spend a whole day in the character creator before you actually play.

literally any fantasy races you could think of is there, I think there are mods that add more too. I love how versatile it looks, there are a lot of skin tones, horns, lizards guys (I’m not familiar with dnd races, I’m sorry) I saw wings too but that might have been mod

- Once human

I found about this game in this post from @elizabethhearts-shifts : https://www.tumblr.com/elizabethhearts-shifts/758372410780221440/once-human-for-face-claims-hey-shifters-i

I don’t have a computer, don’t have the money for the kind I would need, the steam deck was a much more affordable option for my games, but unfortunately the steam deck doesn’t take in charge this particular game, I don’t really know why, it wouldn’t even let me try to download it anyway, like I had to do with Inzoi.

In any case, you can see the face claim of Elizabeth on her post, and it looks incredible so I still wanted to include it in the list ^^

I realise this is a post for the gamer shifters x)

Personally, Pinterest is not enough for me. I think it’s my autistic brain but I need to have a clear idea of the space I live in my drs, and find that having a 3D representation of the space really helps. When I get into meditation, I then get very real images about my drs in those spaces. Same goes for people, I create a representation and then can get vivid images about them in my head.

So as usual, I hope this helps and inspire,

Happy shifting 🧚🏻‍♀️

[ohmygraves]

let me share a bit of my self insert details for cod, since i figured out i can write smth while i think about how to continue the other wips i have

with callsign "rookie", a first generation immigrant. they're the youngest between all the 141, and was recommended by laswell. still, their rank is definitely under both soap and gaz. a non-binary person, though don't mind any pronouns.

here's a few sketches of them (i made it to my likeness because, y'know, "self" insert)

the change in haircut is intentional as it should reflect my continuously changing hairstyle since my hair is a dumbass who can't make up its mind in how it should present itself.

i made a "relationship chart" to explain the dynamics of rookie with the other members of 141

gaz ⇄ rookie

gaz and rookie i'd imagine to be some kind of the ride or die best friend, which unfortunately often happened because rookie has the worst kind of luck, but just good enough that they get out of danger somehow in the last second. the kind of best friend that you could understand being so close because you'd known eachother really well. it's probably the case of them being quite similar in age (rookie is still younger though), so he took pity of them at first and happily accompany them everywhere. he knows how anxious it can be to be around something so unfamiliar and scary, and he understands how it feels to be frustrated knowing that you can't save everyone (he hopes that rookie can be more mature but for now he'd gladly sigh at their naivety).

soap ⇄ rookie

maybe because i view soap to be slightly older than gaz i feel like soap and rookie are more like siblings? i feel like if soap became best friends with rookie, he'd be too much for the poor lad. soap as best friend is a good trope but he's a wild card that he could show up at your doorstep either with a bong or a shovel, and i'm not sure if rookie can handle all that. he's a good friend, sure, but one that gaz hope that won't influence rookie too much because what is he going to do with not one but two soap at the barracks?

that being said, i think that soap treats rookie like somewhat of a younger sibling that he gets to pick on from time to time, but in a nice way. like he'd wear their stuff that he found on the laundry, strutting a booty shorts (and killing it) while he makes some coffee for himself as rookie hunts his head for sports since all their clothes get stretched because of him. or the one that tells them that price likes spicy in his sandwich causing rookie to witness price choke on a sub slathered with hot sauce, getting them in trouble. he takes advantage of their naivety in a funny way and he teaches them weird things. definitely gets him in trouble with ghost though because of that.

price ⇄ rookie

now don't come at me for being so overrated, but i see price as a father figure. if activision don't want me to commit fatherless behavior, then they probably shouldn't make him so dad material in the first place. that being said, i like to think that when price sees rookie's files and do a small "interview" with the lad, he feels like he was responsible for a new teammate. like mama hen finding a kitten and taking care of it like a chick.

he understands that rookie is very, very new to everything, and that's saying it lightly. being the youngest of the group, an immigrant, not to mention very naive made him pity the newbie, which of course made him go "dad mode" and teach them things from time to time. he has definitely been called "dad" by accident a few times by rookie, but he didn't seem to mind. didn't seem to enjoy the fact that soap's influencing them to act up too at times.

ghost ⇄ rookie

now ghost is my favorite (obviously), so this might be long. in general, ghost didn't like how inexperienced rookie is. they're in 141, working as an sas soldier, and they're going to fumble on their guns like an idiot?

preposterous, why did laswell let them in the team?

it's not like he has any say in it, and unfortunately he had to mentor them and make sure they're doing a good job (read: babysitting, as he would say), and it didn't make him feel better about it. sometimes i want to see him just grab the poor newbie and just scream at their face like "what do you want!? i can't believe someone is this bloody fucking incompetent, you might as well be a sea cucumber!" like this man would not hesitate to insult the newbie to the point that they're crying.

and he should be. he's not going to put his life in the hands of some dumbass who can't shoot right half the time.

of course, it'll take a long, long time for him to acknowledge their skill, even getting a small "passable" from him is worth celebrating. literal years to be close to him, share the fact that they're both fatherless people who used to live in an abusive household and maybe he'll start to acknowledge them (anything that's beside work ofc). little affirmation that they've gotten this far somehow even after such horrible things happening to them.

i only ever pair rookie with ghost and soap (or both of them together as a throuple) romantically, gaz is more platonic and price is more fatherly.

i know this is a different post from what i normally would post but if you're all interested in getting to know rookie more, feel free to interact. my askbox are open for requests or something a bit more casual, don't be shy. i don't bite.

[hobbitsetal]

Ok this is a really embarassing question but. How does one get a boyfriend? I grew up with the idea that I didn't have to date until I was done with my education. Now it's been a while since I graduated, I'm in my 20s, and I have 0 clue how to even find a significant other. I would appreciate your advice, and if any other Christian women who are married or in a committed relationship see this, I would appreciate their advice too. Thank you!

What an excellent question, actually! The dating scene is an ever-shifting one, and a motley and confusing one when you throw Christian values and preferences into the mix!

Let me start with a few practical tips, and then dig a little deeper into this idea of finding an S/O.

The cliche of "put yourself out there" is, regrettably, cliche for a reason. My brother is taking salsa classes with the goal of meeting someone. I spent time hanging out with my siblings and their friends, and even tried attending a different church's young adult group for a while to meet people. So that leads into the question, what are your hobbies and interests?

Church groups are a classic way to meet someone, but I would strongly recommend branching out into other parts of society as well. Renaissance festivals, music events, glass-blowing...Whatever strikes your fancy, go explore it!

One of the most frustrating things about dating (and giving dating advice) is that it really does feel like a matter of luck. I've dated three guys. The first came to visit my brother, and I happened to run into him at something like 1 am when he was looking for a glass of water. We stayed up another hour chatting, and then by the end of his visit to my brother, he left me his number.

The second, I met when I picked my sister up from a Bible study. The third went to college with a different sister of mine. That third one she then brought down for a visit...to wing-man for a different friend. The third man I dated is a terrible wing-man. Great husband, though.

But that's the thing: while I was interested in dating, each of these men came into my life coincidentally. And while going out places and looking for people to connect with increases your chances of meeting someone to date, it doesn't guarantee it.

So then what?

I'm going to encourage you to focus on your own interests. You have to be a whole person, and you have to remain a whole person whether you date or not.

Ask yourself: if I knew right now that I would never get married or date, what would I want my life to look like?

For me, that looked like focusing on writing, on friendships, and on trying out new things, like theater or taking a swing dance class or playing Dungeons and Dragons. That looked like reading widely. After I broke up with my second boyfriend, I visited Ireland with my younger sister, which was an absolutely incredible trip.

Now that I am married, I still prioritize writing, friends, and new experiences. I have someone else to share them with now, but my interests predate and exist outside of him. We have hobbies in common, too, like reading and D&D, and sharing those hobbies is part of what drew us to each other.

What do you want to try? What are you interested in? And along the way, incidentally, where might you perhaps meet someone who shares your interests?

[josefavomjaaga]

Hi Josefa I hope u're doing well and I hope u had a great holiday season!!! c:

I was wondering if you could tell me anything about Eugène in relation to Jerôme Bonaparte? Since they are quite close in age with Jerôme being younger, I was wondering if they had any relationship to one another, and what they thought of each other. I remember hearing about Jerôme being jealous of Eugène for what he perceived as "receiving special treatment" and being prioritized over him by Napoleon, but there weren't any specific sources linked to this statement and I don't know if there is any credence to it 🤔, Yaggy recommended that I should ask u about it because u know a lot about Eugène ^-^

Thank you, @flowwochair, and all best wishes to you, too. May 2024 have nothing but flowers for you!

Your question reminds me of the looong list of unanswered Asks! in my inbox, and that one of my new year's resolutions was to finally get to them. What can I say? I've never been good with that resolution thingie.

Might as well start with yours.

From what I have read, Jérôme Bonaparte and Eugène Beauharnais originally got along rather fine. They actually went to the same school for some time, the "Collège des Irlandais", and it's quite likely that Bonaparte sent his younger brother to this institution because Josephine's son was also there.

If you remember the timeline for Jérôme's naval career that I once put together for you (please scroll way, way down, it's in one of the reblogs 😊), the author also said a bit about Jérôme's school education. Apparently the two boys, Eugène 15 and Jérôme 12 years old, both lived in that boarding school from January 1796 to April 1797. That means, during the time when both Jérôme's older brother Napoleon and Eugène's mother Josephine were away in Italy.

With regards to Jérôme, I feel like it's also interesting to note that when Joseph and Napoleon left for France in 1779, the three youngest Bonaparte siblings Pauline, Caroline and Jérôme had not even been born yet. And Carlo died a short time after Jérôme's birth. I'm pretty sure the two older brothers felt more like father figures with regards to these siblings.

So, Eugène and Jérôme both had Napoleon as the not-quite-father in their life.

Françoise de Bernardy in her biography of Eugène cites a long letter from Jérôme to Eugène from 26 December 1796, that shows him in best spirits, mentions Eugène's sister Hortense and seems to indicate that the teenagers all got along quite well. Among other things, Jérôme mentions yet another quarrel between the Talliens, informs Eugène that Barras and Carnot expect both Jérôme and Eugène to dine with them despite Madame Campan giving a ball that day, and then goes on bragging about how he had been given a laurel crown by generals and politicians, was put on a table and embraced and applauded by everyone. (And if this happened at Barras', I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.)

According to Bernardy, Jérôme is already "the genuine rascal" that he would later be. Though I would like to put this in perspective, because Eugène at the time also seems to have had everything in mind but school lessons and homework, and according to the memoirs of Arnault, he even was a particularly bad and "stupid" student who drove his teachers to despair. It seems that, at this time, they both were two very charming and very spoilt brats, mostly concerned with girls, hunting trips and being flattered by people who wanted to get in the good graces of general Bonaparte. Jérôme, despite being so much younger, also already comes across as more confident and assertive than docile, polite and often insecure Eugène.

This may already be the main difference between them: Eugène, due to his innate desire to please and to gain the recognition of his new stepfather, will change his ways as soon as he becomes Napoleon's aide de camp and joins him in Italy (July 1797). Jérôme will always only do what Jérôme wants. (And to be honest, I kinda love him for that. Jérôme will always find a way to be a pain in Napoleon's imperial ass.)

I remember hearing about Jerôme being jealous of Eugène for what he perceived as "receiving special treatment" and being prioritized over him by Napoleon

I do not really remember anything about that (but then again, I've only read up on Eugène; this may be the same story from Jérôme's perspective). The closest thing I could find is a remark in the memoirs of Laure Junot about how the Bonaparte brothers would always hold Eugène - despite the fact they could not stand him - up as a shining example to Jérôme, causing the latter to despise his former friend. There also is an anecdote (the source of which I cannot remember atm) about Jérôme being furious because unlike Eugène he was not allowed to join the second Italian campaign (battle of Marengo, 1800), and later demanding Napoleon's sabre from that campaign as a gift in compensation.

Could I imagine that Jérôme was jealous of Eugène? Absolutely. This probably needs to be seen in the context of the Bonaparte-Beauharnais rivalry. The Bonaparte always regarded the Beauharnais as intruders and feared Napoleon might grant them too much money or influence. - Did Jérôme have any reason to? I'm not sure. Jérôme simply was a lot younger than Eugène, so of course Eugène was a step ahead of him in his career. It is also true that Eugène rose in rank very quickly and owed this solely to his stepfather. But in all fairness: so did Jérôme. And while Eugène at some point seems to have started to put in a lot of work and effort, even giving up his comfortable post as Napoleon's aide in order to remain in the military, and while he later as viceroy of Italy often worked from morning until midnight (much to his wife's chagrin), Jérôme seems to have seen his naval career as something of a pleasure cruise trip. Desertion from his post and month-long vacation in the United States included. As to his rule as king of Westphalia, I do not want to judge him because I have not read much about it, and in any case he was given very little leeway from his brother. But fact is: Jérôme was made a king. Eugène was not. So who had reason to be jealous?

I am not aware of much contact between the two of them later during the Empire. Eugène was in Italy since 1805. They may have met when Jérôme came to Italy for an interview with Napoleon, at the time when he gave up on his wife Betsy Patterson. But I am unaware of any reaction from Eugène to that. And later, when Eugène goes to Paris for the first time in almost five years, for his mother's "divorce" proceedings, he finds his house already occupied by - Jérôme. 😁

But the funniest (or saddest?) thing is that, while Jérôme was forced to join the navy very much against his will (as a disciplinary measure after the ill-fated duel with Davout's younger brother), Eugène for his part during his finale exile in Bavaria admitted: "I would have loved to be a sailor."

Thank you for the Ask! and sorry for the long rambling. Asking me about Eugène is a dangerous thing to do because I won't stop blabbering...

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

It's finally the weekend. Thank goodness. I have an actual WIP agenda and have also been... strongly recommended... to engage with hobbies more, and now I am expected to produce Results.

I've also been thinking about vigilante AU stuff at work today. (They have me filing files. I'm on number 994. It's... boring.) ANYWAY.

Time is obviously the adult that's actually mostly responsible. He's got a Real Adult Job and a Real Adult House. He might not know how to file taxes, but he looks like a Real Adult Person, and that's close enough. 👍 He's the guy you ask for help when you realize you're in over your head and need to get someone to kill someone else for you (or something like that).

Sky, Warriors, and Twilight get to be in (roughly) the same category as each other. I also think they deserve to be together. They can be buddies. As a treat. They're also adults, but they're not Real Adults, just... adults. Old enough to live on their own and take care of themselves, but still young enough to freak out because oh my goodness, where is that blood coming from. They all just want to help people, but Sky and Twilight are notorious for bringing home strays. Warriors is the one that keeps them organized. Sky makes home feel like home. Twilight keeps tracking in mud and bringing the local gossip from the elderly folks he chats with at work. It's a vibe.

Legend is younger, probably closer to Wild's age, I think? And kind of just running amok because he can. He's been around for a while and knows the ropes. He's got a Routine. Regular people and places to visit. Heaven forbid you interrupt the Routine. Wild, on the other hand, is kind of working off of instinct because he's not really sure what's going on at any given moment since no one gives him the chance to clear his head. I'm not really sure what he's going to be up to, and I don't think he knows either.

Hyrule is almost the same age, but not quite. Just a smidgen younger and definitely getting into trouble. He is the equivalent of the raccoon in your trash can and embodies younger sibling energy so hard he probably gets snatched by at least two older siblings. And maybe some less savory folks, too. He bites.

Four is old enough that people won't question why he's by himself until it gets dark out. He's that awful combination of responsible and reckless that always works out, so you can really tell him off for it because he didn't get caught, and he only broke half the rules, but he also really shouldn't have done that. I think he deserves to work at a bakery, because why not? He can take home leftover croissants and feed them to the raccoons living in his trash cans, or something.

Wind would definitely get snatched. There is no way this guy doesn't get snatched. Aryll got snatched in canon, so it's his turn now. I don't know what else to say except that he also bites. And scratches.

i feel ya, at work they have me organizing a library and i just put my silly little headphones on and let the thoughts consume me

HE MIGHT NOT KNOW HOW TO FILE TAXES ALSMDMKDKDLD. BLESS HIS HEART

OH GOOD THEY GET TO BE BUDDIES. Honestly they’d function so well as a trio. Like i believe in my heart they do make each other a bit stupider, and they can get up to some real chaos, but i think they’re also just a good solid unit

ALSSKKDK LEGEND AND WILD BEING ALMOST POLAR OPPOSITES IS SO FUNNY

ALSKDKD i love Hyrule so much. He just as the energy of a little night time Creature

A BAKERY. I LOVE IT.

I feel so bad for anything that dares to snatch Wind. It has no idea what it’s in for 💔

[damianbugs]

i adore your fic recs your taste is truly >>>> do you have any recs for damian and steph i love them so dearly and i need to read more fics with them :’)

i am so glad you like them <3 and YES!! I DO!! they are so so wonderful. truly the best duo ever and i wish dc hadn't forgotten what an awesome big sister steph was to damian when he first joined the batfam, or how they worked together later on as batgirl and robin !!! i hope you will enjoy these :]

STEPH AND DAMIAN FIC RECS ON AO3

in this quiet company (i forget sometimes, just how to breathe) by emavee

Steph and Damian kill time in Gotham and Damian tries his best not to experience Emotions. Oh, and there's ice cream.

MY NOTES: oh i am so fond of this fic forever. so sweet. stephanie is truly the sister of all time and damian is such a little brother oh wow there are tears in my eyes thinking about the marvelous damian introspection

Nearly-normal-almost-family by glitter_in_my_eyes

Steph hasn't worked with the new Batman and Robin duo long, but she doesn't hesitate to come when they call for backup. Their family's a little rough around the edges, but she'll do what she can to smooth things out.

MY NOTES: if you hear an explosion it's me bursting into a million tiny sad pieces at the thought of the steph dick and damian family dynamic during what was arguably the worst time for everyone. they are so complicated to me and i appreciate the way this fic focuses on that complexity but also the care between them all. so lovely

the spillways of your soul by paperxcrowns

She trips over a root hidden by the snow and swears loudly.

“Do you want them to hear us?” Damian grouses.

She sends him a vicious glare. “You try running in the woods in the dead of winter wearing high heels.”

Damian wrinkles his nose, but thankfully doesn’t make any further comments. Steph doesn’t move for a few minutes and instead focuses on catching her breath.

MY NOTES: only the steph and damian fic of all time. nothing says sibling bonding like near death experiences when stranded in the wilderness. truly my favourite batfam trope.

-> this author also has ANOTHER steph and damian get kidnapped and almost die escaping into the wilderness fic called 'you're just a little bit too much like me.'

do you ever think of me and my two hands by Le_tap_22

Stephanie has never thought, and will never think, of Damian as her child. He’s a child, sure. Bruce’s child, Dick’s child, Talia’s child. But not hers.

He’s her little asshole younger brother. But sometimes when she sits beside him— like now under the soft light of the sun shining through the curtain in the Manor’s library as she watches him write a letter to send to his mother— she feels a deep, almost indescribable emotion well up inside her.

Not for him, but for Talia.

Or, Damian and Stephanie sit together in the Manor’s library, two opposite halves of similar pictures.

MY NOTES: so i never considered this connection before, but after stumbling upon this my entire life has changed forever (very positive connotations). the way talia is written through stephs eyes, and the way stephs outlook on this aspect of her life is written is very special to me and i love this fic a lot

The Not-Babysitter by Hinn_Raven

Steph is volunteered to babysit Damian on his trip to the zoo, much to Damian's consternation. But an encounter with Steph's college classmates might force Damian to admit that things aren't so bad with her around.

MY NOTES: Hinn_Raven is by far my favourite steph writer and i can not recommend this writer enough!!! such a fun protective little brother damian fic

The Stories Between Us by DawnsEternalLight

Sometimes Damian doesn’t mind having someone in the room with him while he paints. When he allows Stephanie to study during one such painting session, he learns something about her past she never should have gone through, and it is his turn to comfort his sister. After all he too has dealt with issues of dying and guilt.

MY NOTES: if dc have decided to never bring up war games and what happened to steph then i have no choice but to find the angst in fics. this one is just. amazing. i need it inside my brain forever. there's a specific thing damian brings up about what steph means to him that literally made me tear up and yeah. im so okay about it

Top-Secret Mission to the Library by pennysparrow

Damian needs a book and only the Gotham University Library seems to have it, so he has to ask Stephanie for assistance.

MY NOTES: to end this off here is such a sweet and nice read. so adorable. damian the little guy that you are.

[jelixpo]

So... did you like the movie? 😏

i thought it was really good! But I also joked with my parents that i probably would have enjoyed it regardless of what was on screen lol

my non-spoiler opinion of the movie is this

Mario and Luigi have a super wholesome relationship

Jack Black killed it as Bowser

Chris Pratt also did a really good job as Mario! I was surprised

Anya Taylor-Joy was just okay as Peach. Sometimes I thought her voice was a bit too deep in delivery for Peach but like 95% of the time I enjoyed it

I thought Seth Rogan was good as Donkey Kong but then again i'm not big into Donkey Kong so I might not be a good judge

also the movie seemed a bit short? And that's not just me saying that cause I wanted more, it felt like some scenes weren't fleshed out enough or had weird cuts between them. And I think I know who to blame for that (Mr 'let's remove all the story elements from Mario Galaxy 2 so it's basically just a Mario Galaxy DLC')

But!! Really enjoyable and I super recommend!

Okay, now under the cut I'll share my spoiler opinions

I'm gonna break up these bullet points differently cause like. It's a lot

THE BRO HUG AT THE END OF THE MOVIE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!

I know we didn't get a lot of Luigi which is a bummer but omg when he was on screen he stole the show!!

I also really liked the scene where they showed Luigi being taken onto the blimp and him envisioning his life where he's always had to be saved by Mario, and now he's in a situation where he doesn't even know if Mario is alive or not. It was a very quiet and introspective moment that, while it was rather short, I thought was really inciteful into Luigi's character and his relationship with the idea of bravery and how he views himself in comparison to Mario. And then!! The pay-off at the end of the movie where Luigi gets to be the one who saves Mario!! That was very sweet and I love that they showed that just cause Luigi's scared, doesn't mean he doesn't have courage!!

I liked the backstory that they gave Peach! And also the movie directly confirming that Peach is human in canon since that has been a question for people for a long time. I loved to watch her bounce around and show off her moves. And i love that they confirmed she's the ideas person! If they ever make plans, Peach is the one to recognize what to do, how to do it, and when. She's a proper strategist. I wonder if her parents are still alive in the human realm? And since she's from Brooklyn (I'm assuming she is anyway and that the pipe in Brooklyn is the only pipe on Earth, but maybe not) I wonder if her parents would have seen her face in the paper? Stuff to think about

Mario and Luigi have more brothers??? Once the movie comes out on services I'll have to get a closer look at both them and their VA's in the credits. I'm interested to see the age gap between all of them, since it seems like Mario and Luigi are closest with each other and not anybody else, which leads me to believe they're the closest in age and therefore grew up together in a more literal sense than with their other brothers (I assume so cause my dad has like 8 siblings and he's closest with my uncle who's only one year younger than him. Sibling bonds strengthen when you go through those toddler years together)

Also the movie was just really fucking funny. The Bowser song?? (I'll swing back around to that) Donkey Kong was super funny. Bowser himself had a ton of great lines. The line that made me laugh the hardest was when Mario and Donkey Kong were in the belly of the beast and Donkey Kong laments that his dad thinks he's a failure, Mario repeats the sentiment about his own dad, and Donkey Kong goes "Oh yeah? well HE WAS RIGHT YOU SUCK" that shit had me rolling. Great set-up and bait-and-switch.

okay Bowser song? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. IT WAS TOO SHORT. I WOULD WATCH A 5MINUTE EXTENDED MUSIC VIDEO OF THE SONG GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!! (Also i watched Pretty Woman within 24 hours of watching the Mario movie and the two piano scenes had me... thinking about things (bowuigi))

I like that they didn't directly set up for a sequel. Like there are elements in the movie that could easily set up for it. Like Bowser being small and only needing to be hit once to be made big again. Peach's potential parents in Brooklyn, a more Luigi-centric adventure that fleshes out his small but present issue with courage and bravery, the clear set up for Captain Toad and the Toad Brigade, the fact that there were multiple different areas they could have gone into in the pink cloud 'work between worlds' place. I doubt it, but it would be very nice

also the ending kind of threw me for a loop? Honestly with Mario taking the giant bullet bill towards the warp pipe I thought the story was going to be that he sent the bullet bill through and it destroyed their warp pipe back home. And then that would directly set up for a sequel to try and get back home and explain why they would choose not to stay in Brooklyn

Also, i'm not entirely sold on why Luigi would want to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom? Like yeah Mario chose to stay, but he got to frolic in fields, do training missions, and get with a princess. Luigi got captured immediately, beaten up and thrown around, then almost died in lava at the end. Where does he see the positives in staying in the Mushroom Kingdom? I don't believe Mario would have been entirely sold on staying either given Luigi being in peril there the whole time. For them to stay, it would have had to be a unanimous decision between the two of them that I couldn't really see them making? But i guess it doesn't really matter. They needed Mario and Luigi to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for continuity, so i guess it's fine

Kamek was great. 10/10 best supportive dad. "Dress in drag to help my adopted son practice his date with the girl he has a crush on? Say no more. Get me a matching tiara."

okay i was surprised how much they directly talked about violence? Like i'm super used to children's media where they dance around the topic of death with different phrases. "She's gone. She was shattered. He was forgotten. He didn't make it." That sort of stuff. It especially threw me off when Bowser was screaming about killing Luigi and making Mario watch. Like, damn. Dude is sadistic. The line almost felt like something out of a fic? But honestly it worked to make Bowser seem like a villain that really shouldn't be messed with. I think Bowser is often seen as a bit of a goofy villain, especially in comparison to some of Nintendo's other villains like Ganondorf who are and were depicted as sinister from day one. But this movie? Bowser has guns. Bowser kills people. Bowser beats the ever-loving shit out of Mario the second he meets him. This Bowser is not a force to be reckoned with.

Also his line when he's beating up Mario "You ruined everything! I was FINALLY gonna be happy!" like yooooooo. That has Bowuigi potential fr fr. And it's also crazy that Bowuigi fans have been saying this for years? Like Bowser is a very lonely, touch-starved individual, even with having kids. Every Bowuigi fic i've read has this element in them. And this movie really confirmed that those theories are true and I love that

and i think that's it! Once it comes out on services i'll watch it again and probably have more points to give

[kdramacrybaby]

Hidden Love (2023)

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Youth

Synopsis: As a young girl, Sang Zhi falls in love with her older brother’s best friend Duan JiaXu. Oblivious to her feelings, he treats her as nothing more than a sister, and eventually, Sang Zhi realizes she has to give up on her feelings after getting hurt too many times. Years later, Sang Zhi now a legal adult, the two meet again, and old feelings start to resurface for Sang Zhi, who desperately tries (and fails) to push them back. This time, though, she might not be the only one catching feelings.  

Episode info: 25 episodes / Runtime around 45 minutes

Lead cast: Zhao Lu Si (Sang Zhi), Chen Zhe Yuan (Duan JiaXu), Victor Ma (Sang Yan)

Link to watch: You can watch on Netflix for Dramacool

Drama rec masterlist | Drama rant thread (beware of spoilers)

(I watched this while on my exercise bike, so that’s why there’s no drama rant for this drama (but I would have been absolutely freaking out if there was one)).

The first thing I want to address is the age gap between the characters, something I was very wary about when first starting out the drama - I think using a younger actress in the first few episodes while still using the same male lead made it a lot worse than it actually was too - but it still took a little convincing to root for this couple. Which is also why I didn’t really take the drama that seriously at first, it was just something Netflix had recommended and a drama that could be sort of cute to watch while I got some exercise.

I want to refer to this post by teaandsojupod, because I think they really made a great point. Yes there is an age difference that might make some people raise an eyebrow, but that is the point and the drama is well aware of this fact. It is addressed multiple times throughout the drama - both the lead characters have their own thoughts and worries about the age gap, and they discuss this with their friends and family. Nothing is done without thought and care, and they both take their time to reflect on their feelings for the other before making a move.

What I love the most about their relationship, is how they always take the time to communicate their thoughts and feelings to the other, so there is no room for misunderstandings. They never hide their worries from each other - and even if they try to because they don’t want to worry the other, they know each other so well that they notice immediately and support each other through it. They protect each other in their own way and I love to see it. This is everything I want to see in a healthy romance and more. And the actors have amazing chemistry.

Other than the fantastic romance, I want to list a couple of points that only made the drama even better:

The sibling energy between Sang Zhi and her big brother is everything

The friendships in this drama are everything 

The actors are all phenomenal 

The writing / story is actually good and feels natural

I really did not expect to like this drama as much as I did, but it just made me smile so much, and I even ended up binging the last couple of episodes off the bike because I couldn’t wait to see how it ended.   

This is a drama that I will definitely be comparing future romance dramas to in terms of how much I like the couple. We don’t need every male lead to be a rich prince on a white horse, sometimes they can be just a normal dude with normal real-life struggles.

Yes, there are some things they maybe gloss over a little bit (some b-plot with Sang Zhi’s friends, how the whole thing with Jiaxu’s past got resolved, Sang-zhi’s parents), but I really don’t think it takes away that much from the central story.

Highly recommended watch! 

[aisururuby]

"_____", are you- Part 1

Here's the Continuation of this au?

Anything that is indented means it in korean.

‘Don’t freak but I think we’re in Lovely Princess.’

*Choke* “Arhen?!”

It’s been a week since they've been living in one of the villas owned by the imperial family of Obelia with Princess Selena along with her family. During that time, Eden and one of Selena’s maids went to Deorlina Castel to receive Verbena. It was fairly easy since Rurahelle once again just dropped her off and left without even bothering to check if the twins were there. While the maids do take care of Verbena via instructions by Rurahelle and the head maid, they still neglect her during the day like the twins leaving her to play with the twins. Eden only packed a few of Verbena’s dresses since most of the dresses Rurahelle brought for Verbena weren’t presentable. Fast forward to last in the day when they returned to the villa and Arhen had woken up. Since the doctor recommended for Arhen not to move his arms too much at the moment, Eden was feeding him until Arienne spoke.

 “What happened?! Did you forget to swallow?! Verbena, hand me the glass of water from the table.” Said Eden frantically. Verbena flinched at the sudden command. “O-okay!” said Verbena. Verbena leaned from her chair to reach the glass of water and handed it to her aunt. “Auntie, is Arhen gonna be okay?” asked Verbena. She was glad Arhen was recovering from his wounds but she feels guilty for not being there for him and Arienne. Maybe she should’ve begged her mother to let her stay in the castle harder yesterday. 

“I’m fin-’” *cough* “Big sister,” Reassured Arhen. He already worried Arienne and his aunt, Eden; he didn’t want to worry another girl in his current family. “Arhen, here drink this and be careful” said Eden as she tried to make Arhen drink the water. “Okay, Auntie.” Arhen said nonchalantly. Eden helped Arhen with the glass and Arhen began drinking his water. ‘You know it’s rude to leave people unanswered, Geon.’ Said Arienne. While she is concerned about Arhen’s health, she wanted to hear his response to her statement.

‘And it’s rude to startle an injured patient, Sun-Hi. Did you forget who’s injured here?’ Said Arhen. After making sure he was fine and finished eating, Eden left the room to bring the plates to the villa’s kitchen. Meanwhile she left Verbena to watch the twins as she was coming. “Okay, babies! Auntie left me in charge of you for a few minutes so Arienne be on your best behavior”. Said Verbena with a puff. “Eh?!” Arienne whipped her head towards her older sister with a “serious” expression. Arienne always thought it was funny how this 9 year old (soon to be 10) always tried to be the grown up in situations. 

*Snickers* Arienne looks toward the infirmary bed and sees Arhen covering his mouth so she couldn’t see him snickering at her. “You-” Arienne is picked up by Verbena and was placed on her sister’s lap. “There! We’ll just wait until Auntie comes back.” said Verbena. She wasn’t letting her leave the room.

‘So why’d you mentioned that cringey book?’ “Eh?” Arienne looked towards Arhen to see he was expecting an answer. Arienne sighed and answered her brother, ‘well I think we might be in that book right now. Remember that girl you passed out on? Well she had blue jeweled eyes. JEWELED eyes, Arhen! Literally, where else have we heard about that?!’ Shouted Arienne. ‘Ouch, my ears! The girl I passed out had jeweled blue eyes? I know we were born into a fantasy world but I think that’s stretching it a bit.’ Said Arhen. 

They’re in Lovely Princess? The very book that made him want to rip his hair due to the adults in the story. The protagonist was manipulated since childhood and wanted a family but when she got it, she was stuck with a tyrant for a father who neglected her younger siblings and later unjustifiably executed one of her younger sisters for misunderstanding. That Lovely Princess?! He remembers reading online comments about the book and feeling sick after seeing fans justifying the tyrant’s actions, “how he was showing his love for his daughter”. He remembers feeling bad for those siblings. Honestly comparing their unfortunate situations, he relates to them in a way.

‘Show me’ ‘What?’ ‘Show me. I want to see the girl with my own eyes.’ Arhen said honestly. Arienne looked at Arhen and noticed he was being serious. *Gulp* ‘Arhen there’s also one more thing you should know.’ Said Arienne. ‘What? Let me guess, is one of them reincarnated like us?’ Arhen said sarcastically.

‘Well yes actually, I think it's athy to be exact’

“What?!”

“Gwah! Arhen?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eden came back and asked if Verbena and the twins wanted to go to the playroom to play with the other children in the villa but Verbena denied since she would be in a room filled with a bunch of three year olds. There weren’t any older kids in the villa so Verbena was going to stay in her room reading until Selena gets a teacher for her; In Obelia, children started their education at 8 so she was a bit late by Obelian law.

So then Eden brought the twins to the playroom where some of Selena’s nieces and nephews were playing. Eden went to the other side of the room to sit with who the twins assume they’re the mothers since they were dressed in noble clothing. ‘You know I am aware that Jennette has a lot of younger siblings but this is a lot!’ said Arienne. ‘Lot of siblings? Didn’t she actually only have two siblings who she never got to meet? Athanasia and the others are her siblings.’ Corrected Arhen. While he detested Lovely Princess, he did remember key details about the book like who readers would get confused by the amount of siblings the protagonist, Jennette, had within the story. While others pay no mind to it since most of them were never named in the book, only gave descriptions like their hair and eye color.

On the Arienne’s side, Arhen sees a toddler with dark gray hair with jeweled blue eyes like Jennette and Athanasia. Princess Argiro de Alger Obelia, the youngest princess. She was playing with an animal plushie. ‘Oh Kolya’s here!’ ‘Hm?’ He turns around and spots a toddler on a woman’s lap, presumably his mother since both appear to have air force blue hair and orange eyes. However, the boy’s eyes were jeweled. Prince Kolya de Alger Obelia, the third prince of Obelia. In the novel, Koyla didn’t like Jennette at first due to his father’s, Claude, obvious favoritism shown for her.

But where was Athanasia? He looked around and spotted a maid with brown hair and celeste eyes holding a toddler with sunflower blonde. Lilian York, Athanasia’s nanny and one of the people who defended Athanasia before she was killed. So then the toddler she’s holding would have to be Athanasia.

Arienne seemed to notice too cause she got up and gently got him to his feet. They walked over and noticed both Lilian and Athanasia saw them approaching. Athanasia got off of Lilian’s lap and walked over to the twins. “Ari, you brought goldie!” exclaimed Athanasia. “Goldie?” Questioned the twins. Athanasia nodded. “Yep! Your hair looks like gold! Hehe.” Replied Athanasia. 

“My name’s Arhen.” Said Arhen. He wanted to see if Arienne was right. He sees anything out of the ordinary. Should he just ask? If she didn’t reincarnate like them, it would be fine since she won’t remember.  Athanasia tilted her head at Arhen’s name and said,”Arhen? Like a chicken?” she said childlike. “Princess! That’s rude!” Said Lilian. “Oops, sorry ki- eh but Lily he was hen in his name like a chicken!” “Your Highness!” Arhen was pretty sure she almost called him kid. Maybe he should ask instead?  

‘You know I always thought your new name was a bit weird, Geon.’ He looked towards Arienne who had a smug look on her face. ‘Oh screw off! I didn’t choose the name ‘Arhen’. We were literally born into a fantasy world!’ said Arhen. “Ari? Goldie? Where are you making weird faces?” Said Athanasia. Apparently, she noticed their expressions were changing as they telepathically talked to one another. “Oh nothing, athy! We’re playing a game? Right, Arhen?” Arienne said, unsure how to excuse them. “Um yes?” ‘Athy? What kind of nickname is that?’ ‘Hey, I think it's cute besides her name is long.’ ‘Yeah that’s true’

“Ok? Wanna you want to play dolls?” said Athanasia. The twins agreed and they went to the area where the toys were. There they noticed a toddler with bright purple hair. They got the dolls but things got weird as how do you play with dolls as a three year old and make it look natural while also remembering you are mentally older? So they tried to break the silence. 

“......Ari, Goldie-”

“.....Athy-”

“Did you reincarnate like me too?”

“Did you reincarnate like us too?”

Hope you guys liked it!

[pure-incense]

hi!! so my younger sibling just turned 12 and for the past couple years, he's been begging me for a pokemon of his own. he's been obsessed with psychic types practically since he was born, so i was wondering you had any suggestions for a psychic type that would be easy for him to take care of? (i'll be helping to take care of it too, if that helps)

Well it depends on what region your in, and the specifics of you and your brothers living situation and life, but there are a good few that are good for starting out.

First is Fennekin. While not a psychic type itself, it does evolve into one. It's a starter pokemon in Kalos for good reason, as it's relatively easy to train and there are plenty of trusted breeders to get one from. Of course, as a fire type there are many unique challenges to deal with, such as how it vents extremely hot air from it's ears, but it is still a viable choice of first pokemon if your brother is careful.

Abra is another good choice, being one of the premier pokemon for beginning psychics to train with for a long time. They can be quite flighty, though, and sleep for long periods of time so they're not the best choice if your brother plans on battling much.

Slowpoke are quite docile and make great first pokemon. Any sub-species is good, although it should be known that the Galarian sub-species does not have the water typing like others and evolves into a poison type. They don't do much, but they also don't require too much care to keep happy and healthy.

Mime Jr. are another great choice. Baby pokemon, while they can sometimes be a handful, can also be good starting places for new trainers. Mime Jr. especially are good for that. They do like imitating people and playing around, and tend to have enough energy to keep up with human children as well! While I don't see this next point as a downside, many people do, so I do have to remind you that Mime Jr. DOES evolve into Mr. Mime, although it does take some time for them to be able to do so. They will likely need to evolve at some point as part of their life cycle, though, barring certain medical conditions.

Solosis are popular in Unova due to them being quite resilient and intelligent for their small size! The green liquid that surrounds them allows them to survive almost anywhere, no matter the conditions, and they figure out telepathic communication quite quickly, making their needs clear if they have the means to "tell" them to you. The only things to note is their telepathy might not be the most clear if you aren't used to how psychic types communicate, and roughhousing can result in their liquid leaking out, causing problems if not treated quickly.

Finally, indeedee. They enjoy helping people out, and are quite popular with some psychic trainers because of that. If taken care of properly, they'll take care of your brother in return. They're excellent with kids and adults alike, and are very intelligent. Their normal typing also gives them a down to earth quality many people enjoy. They're quite self sufficient, so your brother will only really need to make sure they have their base needs met and they'll be good to go.

I hope these recommendations help you and your brother!