#My world building isn't quite complete yet

[minweber]

Never thought I’d say something like that, but the drama of space robot politics in this show doesn't quite measure up to the drama of those teenage girls’ romance.

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - eyes don't lie

a/n: as @moonswolfie said, this man has me wrapped around his finger, so here's another tsukki fic^^ i wanted to post it earlier, but bcs of school i sadly wasn't able to do that

summary: tsukishima definitely isn't jealous. or is he?

warnings: none

tsukishima's eyes were always glued to you.

his world revolved around you ever since you were little. although distant and dry at first, tsukishima seemed to take keen interest in your person almost immediately. he was lucky enough to end up in the same high school and class as you, even more lucky when he found a handwritten love letter in his locker, the writing obviously yours.

his eyes would glint whenever they landed on your frame, his lips always curving into a small, barely noticeable smile. yet this time, his look was completely different.

he looked annoyed, almost mad as he stood in the corner, his back against the wall as he carefully scanned the situation. the music was quite loud at the party, the house spacious enough to fit too many people for tsukishima's liking. it wasn't his party, of course; if it were up to him, he wouldn't be here in the first place. but something about your sweet, slightly pouty face while you asked him to accompany you was enough to convince him.

and now he was left watching as none other than kuroo tetsurou shamelessly flirted with you, talking and laughing at the other end of the room.

he seemed so irritated he didn't even notice his best friend standing right beside him, the freckled boy trying to contain his laughter upon seeing tsukishima's expression.

'ah, tsukki, you look even more grumpy than usual.' yamaguchi said, a small giggle leaving his mouth when his friend turned to face him, his expression so funny he couldn't contain his laughter anymore. 'i've never seen you so jealous.'

'i am not jealous.'

'right, and my name's hinata shoyo.'

tsukishima rolled his eyes, well aware that yamaguchi was, in fact, right. he was jealous beyond belief, almost to the point of making his blood boil. but it wasn't without its reasons.

you were beautiful, and not only in his eyes. many people from your high school, as well as outside of it, found you attractive, and due to this specific factor, tsukishima was afraid of someone swooping in and taking you away from him. no matter how many times yamaguchi assured him that you're not interested in anyone else, there was always a voice in the very back of his head telling him otherwise.

but still, he didn't utter a word to you about it. ever. he didn't want to show any weakness, brushing it off for the time being and pretending like he's not, in fact, quite hurt.

his eyes landed on you once again, his expression softening a bit when noticing you walking in his direction, a bright, wide smile gracing your face.

'i finally found you.' you said, tsukishima immediately noticing the sparkles in your eyes the moment they met his. an almost unnoticeable smile appeared on his face, his hand gently patting the top of your head, fingers brushing through your soft hair. 'want to go get some fresh air?'

the blonde hummed, nodding in response as you quickly grabbed him by his hand, almost dragging him to the nearest exit with a big smile on your face.

upon leaving the building, tsukishima laid his back against the wall, eyes glued to you and carefully scanning your every move.

'what're you thinking about?'

his head tilted to the side, a small mumble leaving his lips.

'nothing.'

hearing his answer, you sighed, walking up a few steps to stand right in front of him, a semi pouty look on your face. your hands went up to cup his cheeks, immediately scoring a theatrical groan from him, the boy trying to hide that he obviously liked whe  you did it.

'i don't believe you. you seem deep in thought.'

'what were you and kuroo talking about?'

tsukishima's eyes were focused on yours, his gaze gentle. and yet there was something in the way he looked at you that indicated something wasn't right.

'oh, we just talked about volleyball, what he's been doing after graduating high school, and- wait.' you stopped in the middle of the sentence, making a face that ysukishima couldn't quite decipher; something between an excited and mischievous look. she took a deep breath, her grin growing bigger with each second.

'are you jealous?'

'no, i'm not.'

'yes you are! i knew it.'

'no, i'm not.'

'you are.'

'i'm no- alright.' tsukishima sighed, admitting defeat this time. 'maybe i am. but it's your fault.'

you furrowed your brows, trying to understand what he meant by that. tsukishima saw the expression of yours and almost immediately continued talking, a short but sweet explanation.

'you're too pretty, one day someone's going to steal you from me.'

he didn't expect you to laugh in response, standing up on your tip toes to give him a quick, sweet kiss on the lips.

'it's cute.' you said, giggling at your boyfriend as you saw his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. 'but i'm not going anywhere. there's only one guy in this world who i view as a life partner.'

'and who would that be?' tsukishima asked, a nonchalant tone as he played dumb just to hear the answer.

'you, idiot.'

the blonde boy smiled, and this time it was a genuine one, that would only appear on his face when around you. he ruffled your hair playfully, laughing when you got annoyed about him ruining your hair.

he looked over to the sides, smiling when realized it was just the two of you. he quickly leaned down to kiss you, hand resting on the side of your face.

'i love you.'

you smiled into the kiss upon hearing his whisper, pulling back for a second to look at his face. she wrapped her arms around him tightly, trapping him in a hug.

'i love you too, you know? and i don't plan on going anywhere.'

taglist: @moonswolfie

[gennibennii]

backshots. ♡ 🌷🦴

𝜗𝜚. masked! michael myers x fem! reader. ˚୨୧⋆｡˚

( warning ;; another straight-forward, word porn fic! im still very new to writing and i promise to switch my works up later on/add more plot when i get new ideas or requests from you guys! enjoy it, lovelies! )

There's no feeling in the world that can compare to being pounded from behind by a six-foot-seven meathead of a man, his hand wrapped firmly in your hair as he rams his cock in and out of your pussy. Luckily for you, that's what's happening right now-- One of Michael's hands pulling your soft locks and another gripping your plump asscheek. You jolt forward with each thrust, face inches away from being shoved in a pillow, but his grip on your hair doesn't allow you to, your neck craned to the point where all you can see is the bedframe in front of you and the occasional glimpse of Michael's mask.

He hammers his dick into you over and over again, a rough calloused hand occasionally slapping your ass and you wince every time. It feels damn near close to a paddle with how much force he puts into every hit, a big red handprint forming on your bruised behind. It's evident Michael isn't exactly considerate about your pleasure when you two fuck. That's just who he is. You kind of predicted that when you willingly decided to get into a close relationship with a psychopathic serial-murderer, but the dick is good and you're a braindead slut when it comes to him, so no objections have come from you yet.

You can quite literally feel his mushroom tip continuously punch your cervix and your eyes water each time. It feels amazing, but it hurts like hell. He's completely aware his cock is absolutely gigantic and he still jams it as far as he can. Bottoming out is a must for him and it's one of the only times he'll actually audibly moan out loud. He doesn't make a peep when he gets injured by a victim, whether it be a gunshot or a stab wound, and no offense, but good pussy won't change the fact that he's a crazy, silent bastard. And trust me, you have very good pussy, so it has to be a Michael thing.

Michael's thrusts seem to quicken out of no where and wails seem to pour out of your mouth quicker than that, you being completely unaware of how well your cunt lips are gripping his cock, your folds holding onto the sides of his shaft with all it's might, as if it would shrivel up and die if a dick wasn't inside it. White cream builds up around your messy hole, streaks of nut juice coloring Michael's pale cock even paler and you can feel it spray on your skin and the linen bedsheets beneath you when he slams his hips against your cute little bum.

Feeling his orgasm approach, he tenses up and his hold on your hair tightens, a squeak escaping your lips when he suddenly plunges deep inside your womb, pumping your belly full of sperm. He pants heavily, unsheathing his dick from inside you and tapping the tip against your ass, wiping off the leftover cum onto your skin and climbing off the bed, leaving you there. The lack of aftercare bothered you at first, but at this point, you can't even gather the energy to overthink it. You already know he'll come back hard and ready to go after a few minutes, so why care?

The end!

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow? Part 3: Doing the Practical

Apologies for the delay in getting this next section up - past few weeks have been super busy and then, hilariously, I was ill last week.

Read Part 1 here.

Read Part 2 here.

In Part 2 I wrote about how important diagrams have been throughout history. Understanding the 'big picture' has been important for every triumph of engineering. From bridges to skyscrapers to oil rigs and wind turbines, all of these have had diagrams backed by international standards which enabled them to be built.

The digital world hasn't quite managed that yet. In the other posts I've tried to drill home the point that modern digital businesses are often extremely siloed, communication and documentation isn't there and there is a lack of a common language between 'Business' and 'IT'.

This lack of understanding means organisations do not understand how data flows through their business and their supply chain.

It's the understanding of dataflow that's important here because it enables organisations to focus on optimising, securing and maintaining flows across an organisation rather than siloed teams patching things up where they can and not understand the upstream and downstream impact on the business.

Method and Layers

Going to preface this by saying that this may come across as complete common sense, and to some extent you'll be completely correct!

This is an example of how to create a very basic dataflow. But I will first start with understanding all of the People, Processes and Technology that I use to post on Tumblr.

So I start with six layers:

Ownership

Business Process

Application

System

Hardware

Infrastructure

What is important to remember here is that you do not have to be a specialist in every single layer.

A Business Analyst will feel much more at home in the Business Process Layer, while an Infrastructure Manager will be much more knowledgeable about the Infrastructure layer.

The important thing is that this Business & IT Diagram allows them to communicate more efficiently.

Let's Build a Dataflow!

In this example - There's an 'AyeforScotland' Element (the rectangle!) at the top. I'm the owner of everything below that element. The black lines are 'connections' representing the connectivity between the different elements.

Following the example, I'm responsible for' managing my blog 'Blog Management' which breaks down into smaller processes: Draft posts, schedule posts, answer anon abuse, and reblog shitposts.

Coming down to the Application Layer (red) - You can see that I draft and schedule posts using Tumblr Desktop and I'm using Firefox Web Browser for that.

But for answering anon abuse and reblogging shitposts, I'm using the Tumblr App.

In the Systems layer you can see I'm using Windows 11 on my PC (Hardware) and I'm using iOS on my iPhone.

Both my PC and iPhone connect to my BT Router.

And that's it for this Business & IT Diagram. I've shown clearly how I'm responsible for the processes and how I use the technology to perform those processes. I don't necessarily need to show everything on a single diagram because it would lose clarity.

This next Business & IT Diagram is much smaller, and establishes the relationships and dependencies on Tumblr to provide the service. And that's because we're complying with the laws and rules of a methodology.

In this diagram (probably need to zoom in to see it) I'm at the top left as 'AyeforScotland' and my 'BT Router' is spatially below me. Following the rules and laws of the method, that maintains the relationship that I have with the BT Router, I own it.

But I don't own the small 'Internet' that's next to it horizontally. I've simplified the concept of the internet for this example.

There's also two owners - 'Automattic' which owns and operates 'Tumblr' below it, with Tumblr being responsible for the 'Provision of Tumblr Services'.

Now naturally 'provision of Tumblr services' will break out into loads of sub-processes. Tumblr could map out their entire organisation (and if they need a hand, they can DM me!) But for this dataflow it's not really required.

Now both diagrams above are not dataflows. But close your eyes for a second and you can visualise what they are.

But because we've created our two diagrams, we understand the connectivity and using the software we can create the dataflow.

Now again, this is very basic. But when you put things into a dataflow context, you can put this down in front of a wide range of people from different business disciplines and they can start to optimise how the business works.

Here's a much larger Dataflow example, that you won't be able to read because it exceeds A0 printing size, but it should convey the scale.

If any of the connections or elements fail along this dataflow - The dataflow stops.

This costs organisations time and/or money.

So understanding dataflows allows IT people to articulate to business people "Hi boss, if this server goes down it will bring down this dataflow and cost the business $10,000 an hour" - Suddenly it's in a language they understand.

It helps with strategic decision-making, it helps with communication, it helps document how things *actually* work as opposed to how people think they work, and once you switch to thinking in terms of 'dataflow' it's hard to stop.

Conclusion

I can't wait to answer all the questions on the back of this.

Also one area I didn't go into is that each of the elements (rectangles) can also hold data (Financial data, Technical Specs, Risk & Cybersecurity metrics, Governance documentation etc).

It's also really easy to get started with it. You can start in any of the layers based on your area of work.

[styrmwb]

References to Previous Final Fantasies in Dawntrail

Or, how 9 + 11 + 6 = 14, somehow. (SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

I've played every mainline FF, plus a few others, so one of my favorite things about playing XIV is seeing what they do with previous FFs, and how they incorporate it into the world/story. Dawntrail very very much did this, to the point that I could literally predict plot points before they happened. (THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT I LOVED THIS)

So I figured I would put down my fanboying in text form, for people to read the insanity of a madman who has played too many JRPGs from a single series.

Note: I have not completed every single side quest, but I have done the entire MSQ, every dungeon, and 3/5 of the role quests. This isn't a complete collection, just what I noticed :)

V

Krile's "real name" is Maya. The original Krile in FFV was Krile Meyer Baldesion. (XIV might also have the middle name but I don't remember! I'm gonna put it here regardless!)

VI

Valigarmanda is the first Esper you encounter in VI, right at the start of the game. Its summon attack is Tri-Disaster. I really liked how they kept it frozen in ice, just like the original, and because Tri-Disaster is a SMN ability, they changed it to Tulidisaster to fit the Tural location.

Pictomancer was first in VI as well, being Relm's job. She even got to be in XIV as well, being credited as the Archon who created the art (HA). Shoutouts to the Relm reborn joke it needed to happen

IX

One of the two most important games in this expansion. There is A Lot here.

The preorder bonus/deluxe edition had a Wind-Up Zidane and Garnet, the two main protagonists of FFIX.

Alexandria is lifted directly from IX. The name, the style of the buildings, and even the castle with the crystal popping out of the top, shown in the dungeon and in Yesterland in Living Memory.

(This is the Dissidia NT version, but I wanted a picture that showed the castle and the roof architecture)

Solution Nine is named after one of Zidane's Dyne abilities. While not direct, Living Memory, the final zone, is very reminiscent of Memoria, the final dungeon of IX. I wonder if you can get a special sword by completing the entire MSQ in under 2 hours?

Living Memory also features quite a few locations from IX. The Canal Town looks very similar to Treno, and features a location called the Daguerreo Medical Collection, named after the city as well. Underneath Proto Alexandria in Yesterland, where the data terminal lies, looks very similar to the part of Alexandria Castle where Steiner can grind to level 99 (I don't know how else to describe it if you know you know). In the Windspath Gardens lies the Cleyra Museum of Nature, also named after the IX city.

Some quest text in Living Memory tells you about other locations in the Unlost World. Lindblum, the city that holds hunts and is very technologically advanced; Conde Petie, where the Dwarves are from (mentioned by a Milalla who said he was from there), and the Iifa Tree. There might even be more here, that I either missed or haven't done yet.

Another quest has you go on a treasure hunt for a password. This password? "I Want to Be Your Canary", the play from FFIX.

Solution Nine has a couple buildings with monsters from IX as signs. One building features a Mu (Which is also mentioned in Living Memory), and another building features Yans, both friendly and not friendly.

Another monster that I noticed a reference to was the Gimme Cat, which is featured on the popcorn in Living Memory. It's also mentioned as an energy drink, but called a "Gimme Bat" instead? I guess it does have bat wings.

While XIV doesn't have any direct plot important characters from IX, the ones we do have are very reminiscent of its cast, and clearly are done like that on purpose.

Otis is Steiner (with maybe a little tiny bit of Beatrix depending on how you look at it). Captain of the Knights of Alexandria, he speaks in an older fashion, similar to Steiner, and is very loyal to his princess.

Sphene is an interesting mix. The most obvious one is Garnet, both being Queens of Alexandria, being named after stones, and loving their people. The other one, which might be argued isn't intended, is Garland.

(No, not those guys. The other one.)

Garland in IX is an artificial being whose purpose is to continue his world's life. To do this, he would try to fuse Terra (his planet), with Gaia (the main planet), and control Gaian souls for Terra instead. What did Sphene do? Try to fuse her reflection with the Source, to use their souls for her own people. I personally think this is a very clear similarity.

In general, because of this similarity, the latter half of Dawntrail shares very similar themes with IX's plots, dealing with death and souls. I also think it's pretty funny that both start out pretty happy and cartoony, and end fairly depressing and existential.

Another plot point used in the MSQ is the play sequence. While IX's is based off love, and XIV's is the history of Alexandria, both feature a sword fight scene. (99 out of 100 nobles approve).

Finally, several songs from IX are used in Dawntrail. In the above mentioned play, Swords of Fury plays, just like the original. And a few scenes later, Vamo'alla Flamenco (previously used for the DNC quests) plays, though it should have been during the sword fight!! Prima Vista Orchestra and Fleeting Life are used in several scenes, usually involving Sphene. Something to Protect also appears, but in a scene I can't recall. Finally, the Court Jesters' theme gets a remix as the main song in the Strayborough Deadwalk.

X

There is a singular joke in Heritage Found made about dodging lightning bolts right before the flash so they don't hit you. The person who wrote this line wanted to induce PTSD in as many people as they could with only a single line of dialogue.

XI

The other most important game in the expansion. In a way, Dawntrail FEELS like it could have been an XI expansion in another lifetime. I might be looking too much into it, but I feel as though this was foreshadowed back in the first patch of Endwalker, as Dawntrail takes A LOT from the Treasures of Aht Urhgan expansion.

In Endwalker, the Alzadaal's Legacy dungeon was based off of the Alzadaal Underwater Ruins in Aht Urhgan. The dungeon used many models from XI, such as the Rampart, the Xzomit (hell yes!), and the Acrolith. The dungeon had a visual similarity, as well as the areas in the dungeon being named after zones in Aht Urhgan (Bhaflau Thickets, Arrapago Reef, and Mount Zhayolm). I know this is Endwalker and not Dawntrail but trust me it's important for the foreshadowing.

Gulool Ja Ja was a boss in the Besieged mode of ToAU, leading the Mamool Ja Savages to assault Al Zahbi. Both incarnations of this character are VERY different from each other.

Similarly, Gurfurlur was also a boss in Besieged, leading the Troll Mercenaries. It's very funny to me that both of these warmongers became such nice people in Tural.

The Yok Huy as a whole are actually Trolls from XI. The different name I assume coming from the fact that Trolls are already an enemy in XIV, in Labyrinthos.

While this isn't direct, and is probably unintentional, the fact that the final boss in Vanguard was a naga/lamia like entity only makes me wonder if it was somehow a callback to Medusa and the Undead Swarm, the last remaining Besieged invaders.

Zoraal Ja is a Notorious Monster in the areas around Aht Urhgan.

To continue on with Mamool Ja facts, Mamook is an area in ToAU. They don't look very similar, but they do both share the title of Autarch as their ruler. Mamool Ja in general come from XI, so it's no surprise that in the expansion that well, expands on them, it uses XI for inspiration.

This next one might be a little insane. The general plot of Treasures of Aht Urhgan, is that after killing Promathia, a god that wishes to end all life, the Adventurer goes to a completely different area to have a relatively calmer adventure. Here, they meet a female member of royalty named Aphmau. Her brother, Razfahd, unable to rule over the country, has a conquering nature, and uses an Automaton body to control Alexander for his goals. This... can't be a coincidence, right?? We kill the Endsinger, who wanted to end all life, go to a completely different area to have a relatively calmer adventure with our female member of royalty, Wuk Lamat, and we fight against Zoraal Ja, her war hungry brother that is unable to rule, so he uses the power of Alexandria (a mech suit) for his goals. You... you see what I'm cooking here right??? RIGHT!?!?!

To piggyback off of this, Wuk Lamat very much fits the role of the XI heroine. A girl who is very clearly the main character of the story, and hangs around you more than anyone else.

Edit: one last thing that I forgot to put down before posting, one of the hunts uses the Magic Pot model from XI. We love Magic Pot.

I THINK that should be everything I found? I know for a fact we're going to get more since the Alliance Raids are based of off XI (I'm so excited)

XIII

A couple enemy models were used from XIII.

The Silver Lobos in Urqopacha use the XIII model. I'm fairly sure they've never been used in XIV yet, but I could be wrong.

Similarly, the Strayborough Deadwalk uses the Gremlin/Ahriman enemies. I do not think they've been used before this, feel free to yell at me if I'm wrong :)

Type-0

While not like, direct, the concept of erasing the memories of anyone who has died (especially seen as a blessing) was a major plot point of Type-0's world.

I think that's everything? My memory isn't the greatest, so I'm sure there's something I noticed that I missed, and again; I haven't done everything, so there might be even more out there that I've yet to find!

Please, feel free to comment anything else that you may have noticed, and hopefully you enjoyed reading :)

[arthenaa]

ikaw at ikaw (only you) — mizu x f!reader

synopsis: 4 times your team lead chose you and 1 time you chose her.

content: modern!au, office romance, you and mizu are creatives, specifically in the character and concept design department in a very very famous gaming company (take a guess), she is your creative director and lead designer and you are the concept artist, 4+1 format, FLUFF, work relations, dynamic, and position might not be accurate, forgive me, this is basically just me projecting yet again.

a/n: this is requested by @andieperrie18 ! the answer shit isn't letting me edit my answer so ill be @-ing you here. TYSM FOR ENJOYING MY WORKS !! means a lot ... u also chose pasilyo 🥹🥹🥹🥹 sunkissed lola is the best

1.

Being part of the creatives team was a nightmare.

To tell you the truth, the position for a Concept Artist with a specialty in 2D design wasn't actually all that bad. The monthly benefits and wage were something you're quite lucky to receive considering the constant side eye other departments have with the admin's treatment of the artist employees. This was also your dream job—having had to play their games, specifically, VALORANT, left you in awe and gearing to apply once you were ready for an Internship. After your OJT course, you were accepted for a position in Character and Concept Design and are considered one of the team's most beloved artists (Your followers on Twitter reckon so).

In short, the work environment was great. A solid 15/10 experience—I mean how can you beat a company that caters not only to you as an artist but also as a player? Nothing can beat that feeling of satisfaction once you see your work displayed on various monitors all around the world.

It was more of ... the relationships and interactions with that work space environment that left you grasping at a chance to breathe.

People think you're overreacting but you think it's completely reasonable.

"Yes, you are overreacting."

Your face falls at Taigen's words—watching as he plays a round of unrated in the company's leisure space decked with state of the art PC builds that could definitely beat your poor touchscreen fridge with just a move of its mouse. You could hear the familiar voicelines of Jett from VALORANT as he uses the character's abilities to swiftly enter the site and take a hold of the defenders' positions.

Taigen is part of the Gaming Development Department in the VALORANT Team. He often does routine user gameplay checks and one of its perks is that you literally just have to play the game and get paid for it. You think its unfair but then again, its Taigen. He's always unfair.

"I think you're just saying that to be mean," You frowned, eyes trained on his face—the lights reflecting back on his stupid, stupid, clear-skinned face. Taigen rolls his eyes but not an ounce of his focus leaves the game.

"Being honest equals to being mean, got it." Taigen's voice comes out in a sarcastic tone. You kick a speck of dust on the cement floor, twirling in the gaming chair you're seated on.

"I just think its a reasonable thing to complain about!" You throw your hands in the air in an attempt to get him to look at your side of things. "You're completely unfazed because your team lead has the patience of a mother with 7 kids."

You hear the familiar cue of an ACE kill as Taigen hits a headshot on the last player. The game's interface shifts to the winner screen and finally, he turns to you, pulling his headphones off and giving his best deadpan stare.

"You're freaking out over Mizu sighing over your concept design proposal for Neon and overanalyzed even the way she drank her coffee because you're obsessed with her like that." Taigen arches his eyebrow to make the situation all the more ridiculous. Your mouth closes and opens like a fish out of water. "Am I right? Wait no, don't answer that. I know I am."

"What the fuck?" Your voice comes out in a desperate attempt of self-defence but it ultimately just sounds defeated. Taigen chuckles as he turns back to his monitor to take a look at the game stats.

"Look," Taigen tries to be empathetic but you're pretty sure this is just to get you off his back. The queue for competitive is already up and running. "As your friend, I say this with the love that I have for you and your works but please, Mizu is just one woman. If my mind process went like yours, I would've assumed Akemi hated my very existence and this is coming from someone who IS dating Akemi."

You purse your lips in thought as he raises his eyebrows in exaggeration. You're not exactly sure why you approached Taigen with this problem but he was the only familiar face that you saw after walking out of the meeting room in a hurry.

But then the question in this situation is who exactly is Mizu?

Well, there were a lot of things you could associate with the familiar blue-eyed director. Mizu is your boss—the creative director for Concept and Character design for the VALORANT team. She oversees character ideas, map visuals, detailing, and the final approval for character and asset ideation before it's sent for building in the 3D and VFX departments. She is your employer but you can also consider her your friend, albeit a highly respected one (she did the character design for Jett and Yoru).

It's not that you were obsessed—Taigen is wrong, he's always wrong—it was definitely because you respected her very much. Being a Riot Design Lead is basically fucking God. You create and give life to ideas. She's part of the original team that worked on the pre-release of VALORANT during its early stages and got to see the whole thing unfold. Something you wished to see back then but glad that you were able to become part of the journey despite being a few patches late.

You respected her enough to always want to be on her good side. I mean, who wouldn't? She's talented and very... youthful-looking and one of Riot's youngest leads, you honestly think that being worried over her approval like this is just a matter of respect and definitely NOT obsession.

"You're doing that thing where you space out and I have to assume that it's probably because of Mizu, yeah?" Taigen's voice intercepts your reprieve and suddenly, a curl of your eyebrows creates a look of annoyance on your face.

"I am not obssesed with Mizu," You reiterate, but this time with your mouth. "I just... respect her."

Taigen leans back on his gaming chair, nodding as if you just told him that he didn't need to double double-click everything.

"That's the most unbelievable shit I've heard today," Taigen finally replies with a scrunch of his nose. Your jaw falls open.

"I do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Do fucking not—Stop it."

Taigen purses his lips, and makes a motion of zipping his mouth and shaking his head. You huff in anger. Taigen was never going to believe you.

Just as you were about to chastise him again for being mistaken, a knock on the glass doors notifies you of a new presence. You turn by instinct and your eyes widen in shock and probably, dread—who knows.

"There you are," Mizu's voice filters through your ears like classical music on a good Friday evening. You stammer slightly as she enters the area, eyes trained on you through those tinted orange specs. Mizu momentarily greets Taigen who only raises his hand in greeting before turning towards the screen (only you can see through your peripheral vision that this motherfucker is laughing). "I've been looking for you."

"You did?" Your voice comes off quiet. Mizu furrows her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah?" She replies with a confused tone. "I had your concept design for Neon approved, it was more direct compared to Matt's. I wanted to tell you in person since you just bolted from the meeting room."

You fall silent at her words. She looks a bit concerned as you try to make sense of the information.

"You seem in shock—Are you okay?" Mizu asks, eyes glancing towards Taigen who looks at her before shrugging.

You feel your heart speed up. You momentarily calm yourself before finally responding. "Y-Yeah, sorry. Just didn't think that you'd approve it."

Mizu tilts her head like a fucking cat and you're quite sure you would drop dead then and there. "Why not? It's your work."

You're not sure what she means by that but a sudden shiver runs through your veins at her praise and suddenly your cheeks are flushing.

"Ah," You're voice fills in the silence, awkward and quiet. "Thank you?"

There's a pause of silence before Mizu chuckles. She heaves a breath before pulling the glass door open.

"I'll see you at my office, Y/N." She smiles. "Great work."

The silence further pushes you into the void as you and Taigen watch her exit and disappear into another hallway through the glass windows. Just as you were a few minutes ago, you lean forward to slouch over your knees, hands on your face as you meltdown from what just happened. You hear Taigen chuckle beside you.

"Give it a few more months and she'll give you a ring on your finger with a bent knee on the ground."

You sob into your hands as Taigen erupts in heaps of laughter.

Oh my fucking God.

2.

The release for Neon was a hit. An all-time new duelist originating from the Philippines, your concept design took off without a hitch. It's safe to say that your hard work paid off as you stood over the central common room—leisure areas decked with your coworkers trying out and celebrating the release. A sense of satisfaction fills you.

"I hear you spearheaded the design concept for Neon," A voice infiltrates your sense like a lure. You can't help but smile at its familiarity. Akemi wraps her arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder as she continues. "Marketing was thrilled with the positive response. Good job."

You turn around, her arms loosely accommodating you. "Akemi," you coo.

The girl grins wide and pulls you into a hug. You return the affection in a grander gesture of squeezing her tight against you.

Akemi's part of the Marketing Department for Riot. While she often creates publication material for VALORANT, she also has cross work with League of Legends for its various strategic releases (ie. KDA).

"I just want to say that I already predicted Neon would be a sure hit, it's your work after all," Akemi pulls away from the hug with a smug smile. She grabs your hands in hers, swinging them slowly. "Marketing it was like a breeze in the park."

You laugh softly at her enthusiasm. "You give me way too much credit."

Akemi rolls her eyes affectionately. "Humility is a disease—live a little."

You shake your head at her quips, opting to smile in response. A member of your team passes by, eyes widening in recognition of you before giving you a thumbs up. Akemi watches the interaction—eyes trained on that person's figure as they walked towards Mizu who was busy talking to other creative team leads. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at her prolonged silence.

"Who are you—?" Your words trail off as you turn to look at what she's so focused on before turning back at the sight of Mizu. "Nevermind."

Akemi raises her eyebrow with an amused look on her face. "Taigen always has a penchant for exaggerating but I didn't think it was this bad?"

Your face falls at the information. "Taigen told you?"

Akemi gives you a 'duh' look—eyebrows raised and eyes half-lidded. "Taigen's a loose lock if you pry hard enough. He basically can never keep a secret."

You give her a deadpan stare before shifting in your position. Akemi crosses her arms over her chest as she eyes you up and down—filled to the brim with amusement. "I'm fine, stop making a big deal out of it."

"Uh huh," Akemi squints her eyes playfully. You could only glare back in response.

The loud cheering at the front catches your attention as resident workers, interns, and newbies alike begin to tune in at the commotion. Akemi and you move to the sidelines, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you tried to find out what's happening.

"What's happening?" You ask the person to your front. He turns, eyes beaming with excitement.

"The creative director for C&C got pulled in a 1v1. They're playing against Beckham."

Your breath hitches at the information. Akemi nudges you with her elbow, overhearing the conversation. The two of you move to the side, finally getting a glimpse of the two team leads focused on a custom game of VALORANT. Your eyes zone in on familiar raven locks seated on the right monitor.

A live stream of their game is projected on the monitor up front and suddenly you feel sick from the amount of butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

She's playing Neon. The character you designed.

Oh God. You watched her take kill after kill, headshot after headshot as she sprinted across the map—zapping characters with Neon's electric abilities. You've never seen someone look so fucking hot playing an FPS game before. It's doing things to your brain.

Just as you expected, the winning banner appears on Mizu's screen and the C&C Team erupts in cheers. You become entranced at the sight—a few of your co-workers patting her on the back before she erupts in smiles and laughs. This is not healthy for your heart.

And just as you think the night couldn't get any better, one of the people from the Marketing departments begins stirring up an interview.

"What made you choose Neon on the character pick? You usually go for Sentinels, no?"

Your eyes meet and suddenly you could feel your heart skip a few beats. Mizu chuckles.

"Wanted to do a duelist around for a spin," Mizu replies. "The design and character visuals for Neon was amazing and I ought to pay the artist who did it a homage."

Suddenly all eyes are on you—some of them even "ooh-ing" for being praised by Mizu. You pale at the attention before doing a hesitant bow in gratitude.

Mizu pulls the headphones off her head and smiles. "Congrats, Y/N. Hope you liked the win."

You feel Akemi stir up beside you, chuckling at the interaction.

You're going to die. You can feel it and its all because of your boss.

3.

Okay, maybe admitting that you were a little bit obsessed and crushing over your employer was a bit overdue. You weren't exactly the type to parade your feelings around the office but if people were to zone in on you acting sheepish and awkward around Mizu, there was a 55% chance that you could tell based on that alone.

It wasn't like your admiration for Mizu started on a whim. As said countless and countless times, it had a foundation of respect until Mizu started trying to get to know and interact with you and those same feelings of admiration started to change. What else were you supposed to do? Mizu is a fucking all-in-one holiday basket—you didn't have it in you to resist the charms.

It also didn't help that over the past few days, Mizu seems to have her undivided attention on you. Showering you with praises, asking if you wanna spearhead a certain project, revel in your work—all that shit. It's messing with your productivity and mindset and that's not a good idea.

The Head Director for the VALORANT Team had decided to call a night out for drinking to reward the team for the positive feedback for the latest patch. You were quite thankful for the opportunity as this was a way for you to get a moment of rest from Mizu's constant attention. Not that you were complaining, it's just a little... too much.

You were seated at the far right booth of the restaurant, keeping to yourself as you watched Ringo and Taigen begin to have a debate about team composition. Akemi grumbles beside you, clearly not enjoying whatever the fuck these two were talking about.

"Look," Taigen holds his hands out in front of him, trying to make a point. "All I'm saying is if you keep putting DPS builds on your team comp, how in the hell will you be able to maximize their kit? Supports are there for a reason."

Ringo rolls his eyes. "It's called enjoying the game, Taigen. So what if I want to put dick 1, dick 2, and dick 3, together?"

Taigen's jaw drops. "Do you know how much skill point dependent they are? I'm even surprised you could bust a skill out." The raven haired man pauses before continuing with a face contorted in disgust. "And stop calling them dick 1,2,3? It's Dan Heng, Blade, and Jing Yuan."

"Of course you'd police that as well. You look like that fucking emoji." Ringo raises his prosthetic hand, imitating pushing up a pair of glasses. "Um, actually—"

"You are as annoying as my grandmother, do you know that?" Taigen snarls, eyes pulled into a glare. Your tall huggable co-worker only grins and bats his eyelashes.

You begin to tune out the two as Akemi excuses herself to take a cigarette break—already having enough of their banter. You eye the glass of beer in front of you, watching as the liquid sloshes around with each twirl of your wrist.

You had hoped to end the night with silence but alas, you can never get everything that you wanted. You feel a pair of eyes on you—direct and unashamed. Already having a feeling on who this was, you looked up and met the reflection of the ocean.

'You okay?' She mouths, concern overflowing her features. It's subtle enough for people to not notice her sudden shift of attention but enough for you to understand her. Your cheeks flush as you nod back with the same softness that she had thrown your way.

She nods in understanding, sending a soft smile your way before turning back towards her conversation with the Head. You hang your head down, wishing that the night would end faster so that you can finally have the moment of peace you have been wanting ever since this morning.

It was as if the world decided to cast hell upon you and revoked you of your rights to peace at the arrival of yet another problem.

"L/N!" The Head Director's voice encompassed the whole area—eyes turning towards him then at you in amusement. "You're one of the star employees and yet you haven't touched a single speck on that glass of yours!"

His hearty laughter follows—giggles and cheering from you co-workers following suite. You sweat drop, eyes darting to Taigen and Ringo who both looked away at your glare before turning towards the window where Akemi sends you a gracious thumbs up, a cigarette hanging from her lips. You groan.

"I-I'm fine," You wave your hand, laughing it off. Your eyes connect with Mizu, an unreadable look on her face as she takes a sip of her chosen beverage.

God decides to punish you more as the team lead beside Mizu chimes in. "Oh c'mon! You're a great asset to the company! I suggest drink up!"

One of your team members passes a full pint of beer as the others begin to urge you to drink up. You hadn't felt the intensity of peer pressure ever since your dance recital on 10th grade and that wasn't even as half bad as this. You weren't feeling on drinking yourself to death as well so trying to down a full pint of beer was a ticket for you to the afterlife (ie. you on your bed with puke all over the floors). The previous pint you had was enough.

You tried to decline as humbly as you could, afraid that this might be the instance that you could finally be fired off from Riot. You knew that if they kept pushing a 3rd more of their attempts that you'd probably give in for the sake of never doing this again but while the need hasn't yet arisen, you'll try fighting off the urge to be a people-pleaser.

Just as you finally begin to decline for the nth time, a hand emerges to your right—pushing the pint of beer in your co-worker's hands. The table falls silent. Your breath falters as the familiar scent of lavender and probably a hint of sunlight begins to seep in from behind you.

"Stop pressuring her like that," Mizu's voice sounds so close —your heart hammering off your chest. Your co-worker gives Mizu a sheepish smile.

"C'mon Mizu, let your team live a little!" The Head laughs once more before leaning forward with a smug smirk. "Unless you'll save this one yet again?"

There's a pause of silence as your co-workers darted between them—back and forth. You feel Mizu sigh behind you before her arms encase you against the table, one arm placed on the beside you each. Your breath hitches.

"Sorry," She mutters as she reaches for the pint. You stammer, turning towards her as you reach out to her wrist by instinct. Mizu blinks with her eyes wide open, suddenly surprised by your actions.

"Y-you don't have to!" You murmured, trying to keep your voice low. Mizu's eyes are unreadable. "You don't drink—!"

The woman chuckles before patting your hand and gently pulling herself off your grasp. "It's okay." She says.

You watch with stammering breath as she gulps the pint in one go, others cheering as she did. The Head claps.

"Didn't expect to see Mizu downing a beer today but here we are," The man bellows in laughter. Mizu chuckles, wiping the residue off her lips. You could only stare at her in shock.

Mizu glances down at you with a smile before patting your head then walking off. Your gaze trails on her and somehow the hammering within you becomes all the more intense.

Oh, Lord.

4.

It was supposed to just be a little game—a past time that the others decided to force you along. You really had no qualms joining games like this but if it concerns the people around you, especially in your work place, somehow you feel the risk of being outed for liking someone in you work space.

"If you guys wanted to date someone in the office, who'd you pick?" Ise leans forward, eyes squinted as she gives you and Akemi a smirk. The three of you were currently lounging in the cafeteria during you lunch break. There weren't many people present due an event going on in one of the building's sectors, so having a conversation like this somehow was less anxiety inducing.

"Taigen, unfortunately," Akemi deadpans. Ise rolls her eyes.

"I mean! Besides him," Ise whispers excitedly. "There's a newbie from marketing that looks cute but kinda quiet, maybe he's nice."

"You mean Takayoshi?" Akemi raises an eyebrow as she takes a sip of her tea. You glance back and forth between them.

"Is that his name?" Ise watches Akemi nod in response. "Well, I'll just have to go get his number then."

Akemi shakes her head at Ise's musings and you had hoped that the conversation would end there, but Ise suddenly turns to you with that mischievous look in her eye.

"What?" You whisper out, eyebrows furrowed in innocence. Akemi side glances you, the corners of her lips upturned in a smile. God, she was enjoying this too.

"What about you, Y/N?" Ise props her arm on the table, placing her cheek on her palm. "Got someone you're interested in?"

You avoid eye contact. "No."

Ise leans forward with a gasp. "You do!"

"I don't!" You reiterate with urgency. You turn to Akemi with a frantic stare. "Tell her I don't."

Ise turns to Akemi who smiles. "She doesn't."

"Bullshit." Ise deadpans. "The moment I'd believe Akemi with a smile on her face is the moment I'd die," Akemi flashes her middle finger at her to which Ise returns generously. Finally, the girl turns to you—chair scooted over to your right as she flashes you her doe eyes. "So? Who is it?"

You Akemi chuckle against her cup as you stammer in front of Ise. "I don't really like someone though?"

"Lies," Ise declares. "We might not be that close but you got that twitch in your eye that already tells me something. Who is it?"

"Ise," You plead, eyes darting around the space. Somehow, saying it out loud meant that you're solidifying the fact that you liked Mizu—an occurrence you'd like to keep to yourself as much as possible. You loved Ise, you really do. You worked with her hand in hand in bringing Neon to life (You worked on her design while she worked on the 3D build) and have become tremendously grateful for her critique and contributions to your work. But this, this was something else. You could feel your heart speed up as she started listing some names.

"Is it Beckham? That piece of shit always too full himself." Ise places a hand on her chin in thought. "Or Ringo? Nah, he's way too focused on content map-building."

There's a pause of silence before an 'aha!' look spreads through her face. You prayed that she would get it wrong but this is Ise we're talking about.

"Is it perhaps," Ise pauses, eyes darting all over your face. "Mizu—"

"What about me?"

The three of you tense, eyes darting behind you as you turn to find the familiar stance of your boss. She leans forward, a hand on the back of your chair as she gives the three of you a curious glance. You hadn't heard her at all, and something about Ise's frantic glance towards you says she didn't expect the same thing as well.

"W-we we're just listing people we found attractive," Ise laughs uncomfortably under Mizu's stare. The creative director glances at Akemi who raises an eyebrow at her. Somehow there was a silent conversation going on between the two that left you confused.

"Really?" Mizu asks, the ends of her words trailing off as she glances back at Ise. "Who said I was attractive?"

"It was Y/—"

"NO ONE!" You exclaimed, cutting Ise off with a jump. You flush under Mizu's wide gazed, surprised at your interference. Somehow, the way you said it implied that no one found her attractive at all, and that was way too wrong so you caught yourself before you delved into a pit of despair. "I mean, w-we haven't started and was just listing people off."

Mizu nods slowly in understanding, eyes examining your face for any slip-ups. You looked away from the intensity.

Ise finally saves your ass. "Yeah. What she said."

"What about you, Director?" Akemi chimes in from your left and both you and Ise turn to her with wide gazes. She simply smiles over her cup, face contorted in a mischievous look. You couldn't read Mizu at all. You had expected Akemi to drop it—after all, she wasn't even joining in on Ise's incessant need to know everything about everyone. "Who do you find the most attractive in this office, hm?"

You can feel Mizu shifting behind you before a chuckle pulls out from her lips. You turn towards her in curiosity as she flashes a smile towards you.

"I'd pick Y/N, of course,"

Huh?

Akemi rolls her eyes, somehow already expecting the answer. Your jaw drops at her response as Mizu turns to Ise who already has a knowing look on her face.

"She's just that reliable," Mizu looks back down towards you, those shades of blue peeking from her tinted glasses. She pinches your cheek in a flash before pulling away. "Cute too."

You turn away, afraid that the flush on your cheeks might've given you away.

"Anyways, I just dropped by to see what's happening outside the event," Mizu sighs, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "I'll see you girls around."

Your interactions always end up one sided somehow. She gives and then leaves—resulting in you malfunctioning from whatever she's left for you to deal with.

Ise turns to you with a mischievous grin when Mizu finally turns the corner. "You and the Director huh?"

"Shut up, oh my God."

+1

"Why do you always do stuff like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're not leaving me any room to process the shit you do?"

Mizu lets out quiet laughs from beside you. 10:47 pm. Normally, work hours in the office end at about 9 but you've learned that staying late is where the good things happen.

"I literally just told you 'good job' the other day and you malfunctioned in front of me," Mizu giggles, leaning forward as she tapped you on the nose with the pen to her digital tablet. "And I heard everything by the way. Quite adorable of you to deny everything."

You flush under her affectionate gaze. "Everyone's so gossipy. You can't blame me."

Mizu turns her chair towards you, arms reach out to take a hold of your own before pulling them close to her side. You lean back at her sudden proximity.

"Well you can't blame me either when you're this adorable," Mizu grins. You furrow your eyebrows, finally leaning close as you cupped her cheeks within your palms.

"You even drank beer," You whisper, tone apologetic. "You don't even like alcohol."

Mizu leans into your touch. "And you don't like being pressured into something you don't want to do. I can sacrifice a little bit of something I don't like just for you."

You melt at her words, eyes darting over her softened features. "Thank you," You whisper, grateful.

"Anything for my girlfriend," Mizu teases. You roll your eyes before pulling her into a soft kiss. She kisses back instantly, hands gripping the arm chair as you take lead of the kiss. After a few pecks and chaste kisses here and there, you finally pull back—reveling in the soft flush across Mizu's cheeks.

"Also," You chime in. Mizu raises an eyebrow. "I was the one who pursued, not you. Correct that when they catch on."

Mizu chuckles at your words. "Right on. Akemi threatened me the other day, saying something like, 'I forbid you from dating Y/N Y/L/N, Mizu Tagawa!' Funniest shit, I've heard. If only she knew."

You pinch her cheeks, giggling at her words. "Of course, she's say that."

There's a pause of silence before Mizu turns to her work, a sketch of VALORANT's newest agent displayed on screen.

"Want to help me with the new guy?" She nudges towards the screen. "Heard he's French."

You turn to her monitor, dozens of details sketched on the edges with a version of her idea of the new agent. You grin, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You could've just asked me to marry you." You tease. "Also, sure."

You turn towards the table and pulled her tablet towards you. Mizu scoffs as you take over her work.

"And if I actually did?"

"Sure, Mizu, sure."

"I'm serious!"

a/n: hey guys!!! this was so fun to write and honestly i was just inspired to do this request bc ive been drafting an office romance for mizu after the roommate thing. hope yall enjoyed ! if yall arent familiar with valorant, here are the agents mentioned or referenced (neon & chamber (french guy)). also mizu's last name is derived from master eiji's va! cary-hiroyuki tagawa!

[gyuzgrl]

her //kmg// pt3. (sad ending)

summary- as confusions build to an overbearing crescendo, a sudden visit by Mingyu's sister leads to an unplanned encounter with your ex-husband. will seeing him one last time help you make up your mind?

Things can't possibly get any more confusing.

For Mingyu and for you.

While on one hand, he wants to do right by you and let you go, he can't escape the simple fact that he needs you. Long, hard days filled with thoughts of you are his reality now- they have been for the past week or so. Unable to move, to eat, to sleep, Mingyu finds himself at the lowest he's ever been.

And that message- god, he feels so stupid for contacting you when you clearly didn't want to talk. The tiny letters below his text, marked 'read' feel like little needles moving deeper into his heart every time he clicks on your chat.

That isn't to say he resents you, though. It's quite the opposite. Mingyu's time alone has given him the opportunity to grow a newfound hatred for himself, and he spends every waking moment wishing he was someone else. Someone who didn't hurt you.

You, on the other hand, are confused too, but for a different reason altogether. Although you love him, and long to be with him, the question of your self-respect remains. Letting him back in would mean giving the man who cheated on you a second chance, but staying away would mean losing the man you love, over a mistake he regrets making.

As you sit across from your lawyer, hand trembling with the weight of consequence, your thoughts race around like jolts of electricity- flooding your head with doubt.

"...and this is the last of it, so you can jus-" he trails off, noticing your shaken state.

"ma'am?"

Your head snaps up, eyes widening.

"y-um, yes, I'm listening- sorry-" you mumble, swallowing hard as you blink away the tears welling up in your eyes. Thankful for the opaque, white table separating you, you suck in a deep breath, trying to hide your trembling limbs.

"don't be,"

He offers a gentle smile, eyes filled with pity as if to say- 'oh, you poor thing...', and slides one final paper your way.

"here's the last of it- after this, you'll be free for good,"

For good? As in permanently? There's no going back? You look towards the man before you, helpless and confused. Although this is all your own doing, you can't help but feel a pang of doubt at the last leg of your journey.

"so after this we would have officially separated? he'll no longer be my husband?"

From the slight tremble in your voice, your lawyer gathers that something isn't right. It's the same quiver he detected in Mingyu's words a few days back.

He sighs, retracting the final document.

"ma'am, we can do this on another da-"

"no I just-"

"there's no rush, is there? I can tell your mind isn't completely made up just yet, and the last thing I want is for you to make a decision you aren't 100% sure of."

You feel a tear slip down your cheek, dripping onto the papers below. And then another. And another.

The universe can be so unfair, so cruel, sometimes. What twisted satisfaction do the Gods get from watching you suffer like this? Things could've been so good with Mingyu. He could've treated you so well, been the perfect husband, loved you so truly- but no.

They had to come in and ruin it all.

"you can take your time, I'll be at the front desk if you need"

You barely acknowledge his departure, staring blankly at the table as tears blur your vision. It shouldn't be this hard. It really shouldn't. After all, this was your decision- your choice.

Mingyu fucked up. He broke your heart. He's the reason your self esteem is at the lowest it's ever been.

So why...

Why does this feel wrong? Why does it hurt so bad?

Your breaths grow shallow, each inhale speeding up until your heart thuds against your chest. The rapid rise and fall of your shoulders paints a pitiful picture, and you want nothing more than for the Earth to open up and swallow your sorrow.

That night you spent with Mingyu, opened up a world of possibilities- a world of hope- only to have it all come crashing down in an instant. For one night, you got to lay with him, to love him, to be loved by him and that was it. You saw a faint glimmer of hope, that shining light at the end of a long tunnel, but it slipped away just before you could reach out and grasp it.

Reality shook you awake and now here you are- crying in a cold meeting room, all by yourself, wishing none of this ever happened.

It pains you to say it, but the truth is these past few days have been really hard. You've spent hours scrolling through your phone in search of Mingyu's pictures, spent every night forcing yourself to put your phone away only to have him haunt your sleep- you just can't push him away.

All of a sudden, there's a knock at the door. Your head jerks up, eyes making out a petite frame through the translucent glass doors.

"come- come in," you call, rubbing your eyes furiously, "I was just about to leave"

The door creaks open and a familiar face comes into view.

"oh-"

Mingyu's sister.

Minseo's eyes grow watery at your state and she hurries into the room, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"how did you-"

"word travels fast," she interrupts, cradling your face as she stares sympathetically at your puffy, red eyes. "I thought I'd check in on you both, but neither of you has been answering my calls..."

"sorry I-"

"don't be! I just wanted to see if you're doing okay, y'know?"

Her eyes lock onto yours, asking silently- 'you are doing okay, right?' and you can't help the way your gaze falters. She looks so sincere, so apologetic, you don't want to lie to her.

"y/n,"

"I'm fine"

"y/n."

Her voice is firm.

You meet her stare.

"let me buy you something to drink, hm?" she smiles, veiling her concern. "starbucks?"

"I don't go there anymore,"

"someplace else, then."

You nod, offering her a small smile, and you make your way to a coffee shop nearby. As you find a table and place your orders, Minseo's smile falters ever so slightly.

And then she begins to speak.

"I know this is the last thing I should be asking, but um- you haven't- you haven't heard from Mingyu, have you?"

You sigh, shaking your head.

"oh."

The slight quiver in her voice has you on edge, and your fingers itch to reach out and hold her hand. Before you can stop yourself, a hesitant- "why're you asking?" slips past your lips.

"it's been a little over a week... all of us have tried to call or text or- I don't know, we've tried everything- fuck, I even went to his house, but still, there was no response. I'm a little worried, you know?"

Attentively, you nod along, brows furrowing as she goes on to explain further. A few minutes pass, and her story moves from bad to worse. So far, from what you've gathered, it isn't clear where or how he is.

Minseo's eyes begin to glass over, lips quivering as she speaks on.

"I know what he did is wrong, I would hate him too if I was you, but he's-" she cuts herself off with a trembling sob, "he's my brother, my family- and- and I don't know how to fix him, y/n. I don't know what he's doing in that house, I don't know if he's even in there anymore-"

Before you know it, your own eyes begin to water, and she takes in a breath.

"I don't know what to do, y/n"

"listen- Minseo I, I'm the last person he'd want to see right now- I'm not sure what you've got planned but-"

"no- no he loves you don't you get it? he only wants to see you right now. not me, not his friends, certainly not that other girl- just you."

You stay silent.

"I'm asking for a lot, I understand, but he's- I just need to know he's okay. and- and you're the only person he'll let in"

That's how you find yourself here, standing before the doors to your apartment. The familiar frame floods you with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, and you're almost about to turn around when something catches your eye.

Newspapers, bills, letters- all scattered at the foot of the door, unopened, piled upon each other the way you've seen before at abandoned homes.

Tentatively, you press the doorbell, cringing at how the sound seems to pierce through the still air. The sharp twang echoes all throughout the house, like a bullet ricocheting, and your heartbeat quickens.

For about a minute, there's no response- just silence. Maybe this was a bad idea. He probably isn't even h-

"leave me alone, Minseo." a hoarse voice interrupts suddenly, drawing your attention right away.

He's here.

Right behind this door, he's standing, breathing.

"it's um, it's y/n, actuall-"

Before you can finish your sentence, the door swings open, and to your dismay, Mingyu looks like shit.

Standing before you dressed in the same old pajamas, your ex-husband looks a mess. His eyes are so red and swollen you can't tell if he's slept at all. He's lost weight too... The once proud bulk of muscle he sported has drastically reduced to a much slimmer, skinnier figure.

But this all seems like nothing when you notice something held tight within his grasp-

"is that my-"

"no! no- it's uh, it's" he sputters helplessly, stepping back to let you in, "I was jus-just cleaning up! yeah just um, just cleaning,"

Your heart twists. The iron grip he's got on your t-shirt tells you a completely different story, but for now, you let it be. You don't need to dig up his feelings. Not when you haven't sorted your own out.

"how come you're- why are you here?"

"oh uh, my stuff? yeah! all my stuff is here and I need it, so..." you lie, looking around the house as you walk to the living room.

It's colder than before, somehow. Haunted. There's not a light or a lamp in sight, no fire burning in the fireplace- just total darkness. Everything is just as you left it too; your mug of coffee is still on the dinner table, Mingyu's briefcase is still set near the couch, the wall clock still hasn't been wound, now telling the tale of the past.

He notices your wandering gaze and suddenly feels conscious. Scratching the back of his neck, Mingyu ushers you quickly to the couch, blocking your view from the side so you don't see the true mess.

The bedroom.

Your bedroom, rather.

Oh, if you saw the state of that room-

Dark, heavy blinds shut off the outside world, a swirl of your clothes and blankets litter the bed, and the air hangs heavy, with spritzes of your perfume clinging to every surface.

The last thing Mingyu wants is for you to see the state of that room.

"could I-"

"have a seat-"

You both start at the same time, turning to each other awkwardly. He let's his gaze linger on yours for a moment too long, and all hell breaks loose. The air of pretense dissipates within seconds. Mingyu's eyes tell you all you need to know.

You're the first to look away, startled by the emotion behind his stare. The longing and guilt and hurt etched deep in the universe of his eyes is too much.

It's disgusting.

"you first," he urges, "you were saying?"

"nothing really, I just need to get my stuff." Your voice holds no emotion, surprisingly.

"I'll do it!" he interjects, his body going rigid at the thought of you walking into his pathetic little chamber of secrets. "I'll um. tell me what you need"

Unable to catch on, you insist further, telling him- "no! no really I can do it myself, please-"

A few dozen fruitless protests later, you've won.

Somehow.

Mingyu tried his best, although in vain, and now he's got you sitting on the couch as he scrambles to tidy up to the best of his abilities.

But of course, he should have known.

With your level of patience, it was only a matter of minutes before your curiosity got the better of you and led you straight into the bedroom.

"hey, you really don't have to bother so mu-" you start as you walk in, freezing at the door when your eyes glance over what once was your bedroom.

With a bunch of your t-shirts tucked away under his arm and a couple more scattered over his pillows, Mingyu halts his actions, paralysed.

The air is damp and clammy and it stinks of your perfume- strong enough to give you a headache. It feels as if time itself has stilled, as if it hasn't moved past that night you spent together.

Your bra is still in the corner of the room, your slippers are still at the foot of the bed, your pillow still has tear stains at the edge; it's like you were here just yesterday.

You're... appalled.

You've never seen Mingyu like this before. For a man with as much pride as him, this is a complete shift in his narrative. He looks pathetic, standing in shock, clutching your clothes to his chest as if they'd fade if he didn't hold on tight enough.

Seeing him like this should bring tears to your eyes. He is- was- the love of your life after all, wasn't he?

But it doesn't.

Blinking twice, you look past him as if he were made of glass.

"I'll wait outside."

Your tone is icy- frigid. It makes his hair stand.

"you don't understand-" he pleads, rushing towards you as he drops the clothes in a hurry, "I was just-"

"no, I get what's happening, Mingyu." you dismiss, stepping back with his advance.

Helplessly, he pants, arms itching to reach out and pull you close, but he holds himself back. Every cell in his body yearns to touch you, to feel the warmth of your skin, to love you and repent under your alter day after day until his body gives out.

It appears, however, that you're no longer willing to give him that chance.

They say that pity is given least to those who create the situation they've fallen victim to. A self-made problem doesn't seem quite as unfair as one that arises when the universe simply deals you a bad hand.

And this... Mingyu's done this to himself. He's the cause of his own misery and for some reason, realizing this frees you.

"I shouldn't have come-" you mutter, turning around to walk back outside.

Your heels clack against the cold marble floor, echoing over and over in Mingyu's head. This can't be happening again. You can't leave him again.

Forcing out a sharp exhale, he strides over to your departing frame, taking hold of your wrist. Mingyu's grip is firm as he tugs you back, preventing you from taking a step further.

"Mingyu."

Your voice is a warning.

When he doesn't let go, you twist out of his grip forcefully and yank your hand back.

"just- just listen to me, okay?" he urges, stepping towards you. "I've been a fuckin' mess this past week and- and I realized that I- god, I need you"

You stay silent, watching him with cold, dead eyes.

"I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think- Y/n I can't do this without you. I can't live without you," Mingyu eyes you cautiously, awaiting your reaction, disheartened when he receives none.

"okay. I fucked up. I know I fucked up, yeah? I thought I could be the bigger person and let you walk away, but I can't. I can't bear the thought of you not being here with me, I can't think straight when you aren't by my si-"

"are you done?" you interrupt.

His brows scrunch up in confusion, before deepening into frustration.

"am I done?" he echoes, voice raising. "am I done?"

The bored, far-away look in your eyes makes his chest feel heavy and before he can control himself, he does the unthinkable-

"I'll try, Y/n." he trembles, getting onto his knees, "I'll try over and over, beg for your forgiveness again and again, apologize until I can't say anything else- and I won't stop until I get you back home."

You stare down at him, kneeling pathetically before you.

"an apology won't change the past, Mingyu. you're bearing your cross, and I'm not going to help carry it. after all you've done, I still decided to make sure that you were alright- that you were alive at least-"

"baby please-" he tries to interrupt, but you silence him, holding a finger out in front of his face.

"I'm talking." your eyes harden, "and I'm not- don't call me that."

He hangs his head, nodding, and lets you continue.

"despite everything, I came to be the bigger person and see to it that you're okay, so that your family can finally sit easy- but god, Mingyu I don't even know what you're doing right now."

Mingyu presses his palms together, holding his hands in prayer, and mutters a soft- "I'm sorry"

You sigh.

"I know you are. I just- I just don't... care. You reek of self-pity- you're-you're stuck in the past trying to bring me back with whiffs of my perfume and my clothes- do you not know how fucking pathetic you look right now? how dare you make yourself the victim, when I'm the one that got cheated on? this is hard for you- of course it is, divorces are never easy- but have you stopped for one goddamn second to think about what I've dealt with?"

He stays silent.

"I was the one that heard her call. I heard about the fucking- what was it- the 'set' you requested. I had to watch you leave, knowing that you were headed into the arms of another woman. I read your texts saying you'd be home late cause of work, fully aware that you were with her."

Your eyes begin to water ever so slightly, and Mingyu shuffles to get up and wipe your tears, but you shut him down.

"don't-" you grimace, pointing your finger down, "don't you dare get off your knees."

Steadying yourself, you continue.

"knowing all of this, I let you love me."

Mingyu looks up at you, tears falling from his eyes. His fingers twitch by his side, wanting to wipe his tears, but he keeps still.

"I saw the marks she left on you and decided that it was still okay. that's how much I loved you. that's how goddamn desperate I was to have you close. and after it was done- after I let you have me, knowing damn well I wasn't the only one- I felt disgusting. every spot you touched left marks that wouldn't come off no matter how hard I scrubbed. whatever you said clung to my mind and all I could think of was how she must've heard the same things. my pride, Mingyu. that's what you took from me. anyone can heal a broken heart- but this? building myself back from the ground up? I-"

"and it's all my fault..." you hear him whisper, thick tears dripping onto the floor below.

"it's all your fault."

After a moment's silence, you step away, dabbing at your eyes. Big girls don't cry.

"you've broken something you can't fix, Mingyu," you spit, "don't delude yourself into thinking a shattered vase can hold water just 'cause you pieced it back together."

His tears give way to heavy sobs, sounds of pain and helplessness echoing through the house and Mingyu collapses further, pressing his palms to the floor.

Hearing your words flipped a switch somewhere deep within, and finally he realized the gravity of his actions.

A million words run through his head. All the things he should say, the things he wants to say, dart to the tip of his tongue, but he bites down hard to keep them in.

You've said your piece and from what he's heard, you're not coming back. It's up to him now, to make this easier for you. He can either beg and plead and cry and make you feel like the bad guy, or, he can let you go.

He can watch you leave, once and for all, knowing he won't cause you any more pain.

A watery smile makes its way to his lips as Mingyu lifts his chin. His lips quiver terribly, stretching to accommodate a half-convincing smile.

"a broken vase, huh?" he trembles, blinking away tears, "I think I can see some of the cracks healing already"

Your heart clenches momentarily, unable to bear the sight in front of you. He's trying to be strong for you, trying to hold himself together so you won't have to see him crumble in the end.

As much as he deserves to feel this way, you can't bring yourself to leave. Not like this.

One last time, for the sake of the love you shared, you reach down and place your hand on his cheek, brushing your palm tenderly against his damp skin. Mingyu nuzzles into your touch pressing his skin to yours, committing how you feel to his memory.

His eyes flutter closed and his brows furrow, giving way to a single tear drop. It slips down his cheek, pooling under his jaw for a second before plopping softly onto the ground below.

"I would've loved you like they do in the movies," he says quietly, letting out a shuddery breath. "till my heart burst from abundance, till my breath stopped with time."

You can't help the tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill with his words. They blur your vision, setting the world in glass for a moment before you blink them away.

"I know," you whisper.

The heat radiating off his skin takes you back to that night, and you close your eyes. He was warm and soft and sturdy, his lips cradled yours with just enough desperation, his arms made you feel safe and secure... until they didn't.

For a few moments, you stay like this- caressing his cheek in silence-before re-gaining your footing. This isn't how things are supposed to go. You draw your hand back, watching as Mingyu's face chases after it with a look of pure despair, and you clear your throat.

He watches in horror as your lips move to say-

"goodbye, Mingyu."

But his ears ring so loud he can't even hear the words coming out of your mouth. The sharp metallic clanging in his head cuts off your voice, and his eyes widen.

These are you last words to him.

Your last words, and he can't hear them.

This is the last time you'll say his name, the last chance he'll get to burn your voice into his heart.

As you turn swiftly and head for the door, he scrambles towards you, reaching out to grasp whatever he can. Crawling, Mingyu manages to grab the edge of your trousers, gaining your attention. You gasp.

"what are y-"

"say- say my name one last time-" he pants, "please."

You sigh sadly, pulling out of his grip.

"I think we both know that it's best I don't"

And with that, you leave him a crumpled heap on the floor. Mingyu reaches out, grabbing the air as your footsteps fade to silence. With his arm outstretched and his head hung low, he looks like a renaissance painting- like an angel fallen from grace, clinging desperately to the Lord as he begs for forgiveness. The deeply etched creases in his forehead, the swollen red bags under his eyes, the uncontrollable tremors in his hands- they tell the tale of loss.

You move swiftly, not sparing him even a glance over your shoulder as you exit what once was your home for the last time. You feel your shoulders straighten, a heavy burden lifted with each step you take further away.

Walking out gives you a surge of confidence, something you haven't felt in a while, and you smile to yourself.

I think... this is how you heal.

As for Mingyu, healing seems far off. He'll go on to spend his days unable to look at another woman without thinking of the best he's ever had.

You.

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

An Unfortunate Predicament [Michael x Reader]

[ GN reader, slowburn, fluff, mildly tsundere, SFW, hurt+comfort, 2.6k ]

"y/n."

"y/n. Can you hear me?"

You can just barely make out his voice past the ringing in your ears. You open your eyes, and... nothing. There's nothing around you, just blank space. It's like you're suspended in a pitch-black void.

You quickly sit up- making note of the clearly solid surface beneath you- and look down. More pitch blackness.

It isn't like it's dark. In fact, it's quite bright- you can see yourself just fine. There's just nothing else there. Nothing but a surprisingly bright light shining down from above. You look up, only to immediately glance away. It's like staring directly into the sun...

"What happened...?" You ask.

"Ugh, really, what did you get yourself into this time..." The voice speaks again. You quickly discern it's coming from directly above you, from the light. "I'd think you'd have learned by now not to eat anything Solomon cooks, but it seems you're just as stubborn as he is."

The memory comes flooding back, of Solomon bringing yet another one of his culinary abominations over to you. It's blurry, but you're pretty sure he even spoon-fed you...

Maybe it's time to start working on my boundaries.

"Ah. So that's how I got here," you say. "But still, what happened? What did it do? Where am I?"

"Whatever Solomon put in that 'chicken soup' of his has transported you into some kind of pocket dimension."

"Great..." You groan, patting the ground beside you. Yep, it’s solid alright.

"Honestly, it's always something new with that sorcerer. He's generally a reasonable person with a good head on his shoulders, but then he'll go and cook something up that poisons even demons, or transports someone through time, or... oh, I probably shouldn't have said that."

"Should I just forget you said that?"

"Please do. Though, I'm not sure you'll even remember any of this once you're out of here anyway."

You let out a sigh. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Don't worry. I'm here to get you out," the voice responds. "Now, this should only take a second..."

You're about to point out how he completely dodged the question, but figure now isn't the time. You're relying on whoever this is to return you to the real world, after all.

The sound of someone snapping their fingers reverberates through whatever kind of space you're in, before you flinch at the piercing sound of glass shattering.

"I- what the...” The voice exclaims in disbelief.

Up to this point, the voice had this undertone of superiority- the kind that screams 'I know things you don't', that considers itself above you and any situation that could present itself. It reminded you of Lucifer, in a way, just more on the patronizing end. However, all of that is gone now- this just seems genuinely taken aback, even startled.

That same shattered-glass sound rings through the space again, then a frustrated growl before trying again.

A pit forms in your stomach. This isn't good...

"That damn sorcerer," the voice mutters, mostly to himself. "Oh. Excuse my language."

"You can't get out, can you?"

He sighs. "It seems I can't."

"Great."

"Fortunately, unlike you, I should still be able to contact the outside world from here," the voice assured. "With outside support, we should be able to be extracted from here with little issue. I just need to give Raphael the instructions."

Raphael, huh?

"Who are you, anyway? You never answered my question earlier."

"You sure ask a lot of questions, don't you?" the voice responds, tone dripping with annoyance.

"Well, for as long as we're stuck here together, we might as well get to know each other."

Your remark is followed by a long moment of deafening silence.

"...hello?"

Another thirty seconds of silence pass by, and a nervous feeling starts building up in your stomach. Is he still here? Had you crossed him in some way, and if you had, is he still going to help you out of here, or just himself?

"He-"

"Ugh. Three hours... it's going to be around three hours."

You groan, taking another look at your surroundings. There's absolutely nothing to keep yourself entertained for the next three hours. There's nothing to even look at. And you're stuck here with some strange being that won't even tell you his name. Though, you're fairly certain you know who it is anyway.

"I can't believe Solomon pulled this off, and without even trying. His capacity to mess things up is almost impressive, isn't it? Though, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised anymore. Inventing an immortality potion, fighting a one-man war against the entire Devildom, shrinking Lucifer and suppressing his power, and now somehow trapping me... sometimes I worry what would happen if he decided to use his power to nefarious ends. And the whole cooking thing... why did he even have to get into cooking, of all things? I never thought I'd have to say the sentence, 'you were sent to a pocket dimension by chicken soup', but here we are. It's times like this that I understand why the Sorcerer's Society sent a dragon after him; this is ridiculous. He really causes me no end of..."

The voice trails off.

"Sorry. I'm rambling."

"No, no, ramble away," you respond quickly. "It's not like there's anything else for us to do here, anyway. Maybe your voice will keep me from going insane."

He scoffs softly. "I'm not here to entertain you."

"Would you honestly rather just sit here in silence? You're stuck here with me just as much as I'm stuck here with you."

That familiar radio silence fills the air again. God, this guy is petty.

Maybe I should see how big this place really is. There's not much to see, but maybe walking around will at least keep me from dying of boredom.

You get up from the floor (or, what you think counts as a floor?), pick a random direction and start walking.

"You know, not many humans would just walk into complete darkness with no directions. But then again, you've never been one to take the safe path, have you?"

You pause and frown. "You say that as though you know me."

"I've been watching," he admits. "The way you've forged such bonds with those brothers, influenced them so tremendously... I'd say you're flying too close to the sun, but everything seems to be going well. I'm happy you're making them happy."

"Well, thanks..?" You respond awkwardly. "I'm glad I'm making them happy, too."

"May I ask why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, they are demons."

"And? They're still dear to me."

"Dear to you, huh?" The voice asks pensively.

"Why are you so invested, anyway?"

There's a second of hesitation before the voice speaks again. Not a long spell of intentional silence like earlier, but a simple pause. As though he's contemplating what to say, or whether to speak at all.

"Because long ago, they were my brothers." The voice answers. "It's been a long time since then. But I do still have a smidgen of care for them. And seeing you get so close with them, it... it fascinates me."

There's an undeniable tone of loneliness to his tone, one that he's clearly trying to restrain but is leaking through nonetheless.

"Fascinates you?" You ask. You pause. "...well, you fascinate me, too, Michael. That's who you are, isn't it?"

"Excuse me?" He blurts in shock.

"You aren't exactly hiding it well."

Several seconds of silence ensue, and then a weak chuckle.

"You really are full of surprises, aren't you?"

"My life is full of surprises. I try to match the energy."

"I think I see why Lucifer likes you so much," he remarks. "And, yes, I am Michael. In case you needed the confirmation."

"Confirmation is always appreciated," you respond. "It's nice to finally meet you, Michael."

"I'm sorry? Nice to meet me?"

You quirk an eyebrow. "Why are you so surprised?"

"I apologize. It's just... I would have imagined Lucifer and those brothers of his would only have negative things to say of me. I had figured you wouldn't have the best impression of me, much less want to meet me."

"Meh, it's been a mixed bag," you shrug.

"Come on. You can't just say that; now I'm curious."

You chuckle. "Well, Mammon told me how you taught him about the constellations."

"He still remembers that...?"

"Apparently," you shrug again. "He tried to teach me too, but according to Luke he misremembered a lot. Still haven't had anyone teach me properly."

"Well, hold on."

"Huh?"

Another snap echoes through the void, and suddenly you're in an endless sea of stars.

"Woah..." you let out a gleeful giggle, eyes sparkling with wonder. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it."

You're startled to hear the voice coming from behind you rather than above you. Now that you think about it, the bright light beaming down from above is gone too...

You slowly turn around, and there he is, in the flesh. Your heart skips a beat as you see him, and you remember what you were told not too long ago.

He's everything humans expect an angel to be and more.

He’s just… magnificent. He’s beautiful in the most ethereal way, with a certain grandeur to him on par with Lucifer. You can't help but stare, taking in his features, basking in them like warm sunlight.

The playful smile fades from his face for a moment. "Come on, don't look at me like that. There's really not much to look at.”

“I respectfully disagree,” you utter under your breath.

“Whatever. Let's go look at the stars instead."

He gets that starry-eyed look of childlike excitement again as he brushes past you and points at a cluster of stars.

"That over there is Orion, humans also call it 'The Hunter'. What a lot of people don't know is that each of the stars have their own names, too. Look at those three stars across the middle, the belt. Left to right are Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka. Now look up from there at the shoulders, now look just east of that... there's Canis Minor. Canis Minor is... oh, I never actually told you the names of the other stars in Orion, did I? I apologize. Anyway..."

You listen to him ramble on, pointing excitedly at various stars, constellations, and asterisms. Oh, and he explains to you what an asterism was. It's so easy to get lost in his words, even if it straddles the line between coherent thought and word vomit at times.

"What was that earlier about you not being here to entertain me?" You tease with a smirk.

He gives you a deadpan look. "This isn't for you. It's for me."

"Right," you chuckle and roll your eyes. "My apologies."

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Sorry~"

“You’re not sorry at all,” he sighs softly and shakes his head.

You give him a shrug.

“I don't get it," he utters, shaking his head once more with a soft smile upon his face. "You're just a human, but you talk to me like a friend. It's like you don't care who I am, what I am. It's absurd."

"Well, I've spent quite a while sassing Lucifer and his brothers. You aren't special."

"There you go again..." he sighs. "This is how you treat them, too?"

"Pretty much."

"You really don't care who anyone is, do you?"

"Nope."

"I don't understand how Lucifer hasn't killed you yet."

"Trust me, he's tried."

The two of you share a chuckle.

"You know, one time..." You delve into a story about you and Lucifer, one of the many times you drove him crazy.

Throughout the story, Michael leans in further and further towards you, completely captivated. He looks so utterly enthralled that you just can't bring yourself to bring it to a close. One chaotic story segues into another, and another. You feel like one of one of those camp counselors sitting around a campfire, telling stories to a circle of starry-eyed children.

"With the way you talk about him, I'd almost think he hasn't changed," Michael remarks with a distant look in his eyes, a sad smile tilting the corners of his lips.

"Really, he hasn't," you tell him. "From what I've heard, anyway. He's still Lucifer."

He lets out a sad sigh, eyes cast downward. "All this time, I've thought the Lucifer I knew died when I... when he became a demon."

He meets your gaze with a melancholic look.

"Well, he's changed a little," you agree, "but he's still the same Lucifer inside. I've seen enough to know that. I'm sure if you give him a chance..."

Michael sighs. "How am I supposed to face him as a demon? How am I supposed to look at him, not recoil at what he's become, what I turned him into?"

You put a hand on his shoulder. "Michael."

His eyes widen in surprise, as he’s momentarily snapped out of his episode of self-pity.

"Touching me too, are you? You really do know no bounds."

You swear you can see the faintest blush upon his face. Or maybe it’s just a trick of the light. Either way, that could be explored later.

"It's how I've gotten this far," you tell him with a smile. "I've gotten where I am because I, consistently, decided to take the plunge. And I think it's time for you to take the plunge, too."

For a long moment, he just looks down at the ground, his expression unreadable.

After what feels like forever, he meets your gaze again. "Let's get back to the constellations," he suggests with a weary smile.

"Okay."

And so, Michael returns to his rambles about the constellations, wildly pointing and gesturing into his projection of the night sky. A surprised blush heats up your face as you feel a feathered wing drape around you like a soft blanket. You look to Michael in disbelief, as he continues gesturing to the stars.

You shuffle closer to him, and without looking away from the distant stars, he pulls his wing over you tighter, almost squeezing like a feathery hug. His feathers brush against you, softer than anything you’ve ever felt.

You gently grasp some of his gleaming white feathers between your fingers and stroke them. His eyes widen in surprise.

“Hey, I didn’t say you could touch,” he weakly chides.

“You’re the one who touched first!”

“Ugh…” he rolls his eyes. “Anyway, that over there is Lacerta…”

You settle back down underneath his wing, taking everything in. He’s warm, unbelievably warm. It’s as though you’re snuggled up in a heated blanket as the two of you gaze up at the stars. You feel like you could stay there forever.

I can't believe this is happening.

However, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, you start to notice the starry sky... breaking apart. Into little tiny pieces, floating away into the abyss.

"Wh-"

"That must mean Raphael succeeded," Michael says, stepping away and retracting his wing. "When this little pocket of reality is fully dissolved, we'll be sent right back to where we were before this whole ordeal."

A pang of disappointment hits you as you realize your little moment is coming to a close.

"Oh, don't give me that face." Michael says. "We'll see each other again; I promise it. So try to remember me this time, okay?"

You give him a weird look. Try to remember him this time...? What on Earth does he mean by that...?

Before you can ask, he takes your hands in his and squeezes them gently. Just as he does, a blinding light pours in and... now, you're in your bed.

You blink and sit up.

"Oh, thank goodness! What was that about; ya really had us scared there! Don't ya ever do that again!" Mammon's practically yelling into your ear.

"Mammon, there's no need to be right in their face. Not after they just woke up." Lucifer shakes his head. "Are you alright, [y/n]?"

"I'm feeling quite alright," you smile.

"Oh?" Lucifer gives you a weird look.

"You can go ahead and tell everyone I'm fine," you say, standing up and walking towards the door. "I'm headed to the library."

Meanwhile, in the Celestial Realm, Raphael breathes a sigh of relief as Michael reappears.

"Ugh, honestly, Michael," he shakes his head. "How did you even find yourself in such a predicament, anyway? I mean, you?"

"As I said. I had to help [y/n]."

"Were you even actually stuck in there, or were you just using it as an excuse to mess around when you have work to do?"

"...I'll leave that up to your interpretation."

"Michael...! Hey, don't just run off...!"

[guppydoll]

This Isn't Barbie Land: Chapter 1

Ken x Fem!Reader

You are working away as a waitress at a night club when the oddest man came up to you after your shift and accidentally swept you off your feet. Yet you don't know if you are ready for another relationship after the disaster that was your last one. You just hope everything goes nice and easy.

Ken is your doll and he wants you to teach him how to be human and help you through the pain you've been feeling.

This first chapter felt rushed to me a little but it's all the world building setting up the plot of the story and what's to come. Enjoy this little dabble and I promise I have a ton planned. It's also my first time writing in second person. Forgive me if there are some grammar errors and feel free to leave any critique on this story! I wanna always improve and I love feedback!

I also did a quick once through for editing cause buh, I hate editing and I just wanted to post it. Also I wanna say I got inspired from the heart beat part of this story from Nothing Natural by @interpolanticssuperfan . Their fanfic is super amazing please also check them out

This story is 18+ but I'll add in the warnings if there is any smut in the chapter.

Warnings: None for this one aside from mild swearing, alcohol consumption, and jokes about sex/mentions of sex. (Ken is virgin so get ready for Reader having to teach Ken about sex soon enough)

Words: 1893

You knew it was always a bad idea to stay for a drink after your shift ended, but after the night you had it had become a necessity. Another rough night of running around on your feet in heels that could qualify as an OSHA violation. You pulled your skirt down, trying to give yourself some modesty. Not that you disliked mini skirts, you loved them! You just hated the feeling of eyes burning into your skin and longing looks drunk men would give you as you brought them their drinks. At least the tips made it worth it.

You downed your cocktail quickly, scanning the crowd of partying people. You noticed a very tall blonde with women huddling around him until you would see their faces scrunch up after he spoke and they would walk away, only for another woman to try her shot at the blonde. He had a complete look of innocence and just the biggest smile, not seeming to understand when a girl would run her hand up his chest. It made you giggle, he was nothing like any of the regulars.

He was stunning, even though it was hard to see him in the dull light of the club. His big blue eyes danced all around the place. He would smile like a child as a waiter would walk past holding a tray filled with sparkling drinks. When he suddenly made eye contact with you, you felt a rush of chills. He was similar to a doll, staring back at you with a big bright smile and glossy eyes. You shifted nervously as he raised his hand to you and waved as if you were an old friend. Your hand twitched, wanting to wave back at him. He had to be waving to someone else as you glanced back to the bar you were sitting at and raised your hand for another drink.

“Seems blondie likes you.” The bartender brought your refill, just a plain vodka cranberry. Simple but it tasted good and you enjoyed the little buzz.

“I’ve never seen someone like him before.” You turned to your coworker. She was the other reason you stayed after. Claire was fiery and always soothed your nerves. She had been there for you when no one else was. “He’s got quite the crowd around him.”

“He’s had the crowd since he’s walked in here but no girl has seemed to have won him over.” Claire laughed, stealing a sip from your drink.

“Hey, people are allowed to be picky.” You swatted at your friend, taking back your glass. The chills hadn’t left. It was the feeling described as seeing your soulmate for the first time. The air knocked out of your lungs, goosebumps running over your skin but deep warmth flooded your entire body. It had to be the vodka.

Claire grinned like a cat and winked, pointing behind you. You gave a swift glance behind you, bringing the glass to your lips not expecting your view of the entire bar to be blocked by the chest of the blonde you had been staring at before. Fuck. He was hot from a distance but up close he was godly.

“Hi! I really love your dress! You look beautiful!” The blonde smiled brightly as compliments kept tumbling from his perfect mouth. “I’m Ken!”

“Hi…” You stared blankly at him, the blonde- um- Ken, who waited attentively for your name. “I’m y/n, and thank you. This is just my uniform, I work here.”

It was a tight pvc mini dress, uncomfortable to wear but it matched the theme of the night club. Every waiter and waitress was meant to be eye candy for the guests. 

“It’s something Barbie would wear!”

You cringed a little at his comment, he was right. This was like a cheap doll outfit, leaving little to the imagination.

“I love it y/n!” Ken beamed so brightly you thought you would go blind.

“What?”

“I love it!” The man took your free hand in his. “You’re the prettiest girl here! I don’t understand it, you just took my breath away. All of the Kens would be so jealous if I brought you back to Barbie Land but I made a bet with Ken that I wouldn’t come back to Barbie Land cause I could make it in the real world just has Barbie had.”

He was either insane or the drunkest person here, but he was stupid hot. You just nodded your head slightly, sipping more from your drink. Ken was still holding your hand and pulled you up quickly, your drink spilling over both of you. You could barely react as he pulled you through the crowd.

You shot a panicked look at Claire, only for her to give a toothy smile and a big thumbs up. She was gonna pay for this, she had been trying for you to get back into the dating scene ever since… he had left the city. You placed your cup on a tray of a passing waiter and you tugged Ken to a stop.

“Where are we going Ken?” Taking his other hand in yours, his hands were massive… the alcohol had definitely gotten to you. Images of his hand wrapped around your throat or holding your hips to his, danced in your brain.

“The beach, y/n! I’m way better on the beach! You’ll love me on the beach!”

Better on the beach? What did that even mean? If this had been any other man you would have started screaming bloody murder but something about Ken was enduring. You know it was stupid to trust some random stranger but you knew he didn’t have the ability to cause harm to even a fly. 

“What? For beach sex? I’d recommend taking me to dinner first.” You knew your inhibitions were lowered but that had slipped from your mouth without you even thinking.

“Sex?” Ken paused and looked down at you, still smiling dumbly. “What’s sex?”

“You don’t know what sex is?”

“Well, of course I know what it is.” Ken’s whole demeanor changed instantly and puffed out his chest. “Just seeing if you know what sex is.”

“Yes, I know what sex is.” You answered as he looked you up and down.

“Well good then yes that is what we are gonna do. Sex on the beach. I’m good at everything Beach.”

It was obvious he had no idea what he was talking about. You started to giggle. Who on earth was this man?

“Hey!” Ken had panic written all over his face, “Please don’t laugh at me! Y/n!”

His whining was adorable and you led him out of the club, feeling the humid air of the outside hit your skin. This was a first but you were the experienced one here even though he appeared far older than you. You didn’t get it but this odd man was pulling you in.

“It’s okay if you don’t know what sex is. I was kidding anyway.” You smirked. “Let's just go to the beach Ken.”

His blinding smile returned and began pulling you to the sandy shore. 

“That’s a relief! I have zero clue what that is. We don’t have that in Barbie Land.”

It was hard to walk in the soft sand in heels so you kicked them off and left them behind. You’d find them later, right now the very handsome and even stranger man in front of you was more important. 

Ken had started talking again, something about Barbies and plastic waves. It was absolute nonsense spilling from the blonde. You finally understood why all of the women that had approached him turned away absolutely appalled.

You plopped yourself on the warm sand, entranced by Ken’s bizarre story. He was waving his arms around, explaining about how once he tried to impress Barbie by surfing the waves but got thrown into the air. He didn’t break anything because he is super cool and super strong. Then he started about how after Barbie left Barbie Land some of the Kens started putting him down for being “Barbie-less”.

“But I’m Ken!” Ken huffed and placed his hands on his hips. “I’m enough! They just don’t understand it! Some do but Ken always has to one up me!”

“You are all named Ken?”

He paused and focused down on you, scrunching his brows. 

“Yes. It’s what Mattel named us.”

“Mattel?” You sober upped after hearing that. “The toy company?”

“Yeah! I’m a Ken! Or I was, now I’m Ken. Just Ken. Not a Ken.” The blonde gave you a million dollar smile. “I’m my own man, tiny baby.”

You just sat there, gaping at the weird man. He was telling you he was the boy doll that came along with the popular Barbie doll. You only had one Ken as a kid but you had at least 10 Barbies. The craziest part? You believed everything he was saying.

“You’re a doll.”

Ken flopped down right in front of you, nodding his head vigorously. He took your hand again and compared its size to his.

“Not just a doll.” Ken was entranced by how petite your hand was compared to his. “When I saw you, I had this feeling. I’ve never had this feeling before, but I know you Y/N. I think I'm your doll.”

“My doll?”

“Yes!” Ken laced his fingers with yours. “Weird Barbie told us that every Barbie and Ken have someone that's playing with them. Even Allan and Midge have someone playing with them.”

“I haven’t played with a doll in years. How does that even work?”

“I’m not sure how it works either. All I know is you’re my girl.”

You were thankful it was dark outside so Ken couldn’t see how flushed your face had gotten. This had to be a dream. You stared at your hand being held by Ken’s, you felt oddly complete.

“Can you help me, Y/N?” Ken’s voice was soft, timid almost. “I wanted to find you, the one who had been playing with me. It wasn’t because Ken dared me. I’ve been feeling lonely, unlovable. I thought it would be fixed after I realized I wasn’t just a Ken but it didn’t go away. I went to Weird Barbie and she told me it was the feelings of the girl who had played with me. You are feeling like this and I don't get it!”

Ken forced your hand to his chest, his skin was warm. You expected to feel a heartbeat but his chest was entirely still aside from the rise and fall of his chest from breathing. The lack of a thump in his rips killed the rest of your doubts.

“I want to become like you. I want to be human. Then I can help you.”

“You feel what I feel?”

“Not everything, just the feelings deep down.” He squeezed your hand like a vice. “Please, Y/N. There is so much I wanna learn about. Then I can help you not feel lonely and unlovable!”

“Okay, Ken. I’ll try to teach you.” You smiled gently and it startled you when you felt a beat in his chest. Ken was also alarmed by the new sensation he was feeling.

“You have a heartbeat Ken.”

“I have a heartbeat... you gave me a heartbeat.”

Next Chapter

Tag List! Lemme know if you wanna be added in the comments!

@stanfanfiction

[magpiefngrl]

halfway through 2024 book review

June isn't over yet but I'm looking at a couple of very busy weeks so it's unlikely I'll read a gazillion new books or something by end of month. So we do this now!

books I enjoyed so far

Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series, set in a post-apocalyptic Paris with fallen angels and magic and dragons in the Seine. I didn't quite love the three main novels, but I enjoyed how unique the world-building was. However, I REALLY loved the last two novellas about Asmodeus and his husband Thuan, who are a delicious pairing. The novellas are: Of Charms, Ghosts and Grievances and Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders.

Pacat's Dark Heir, which I enjoyed so much that I went back to reread Dark Rise and then again, Dark Heir. I liked the second novel a lot more than the first (and I actually ended up appreciating the first novel more on my reread). Needless to say, I am very, very impatient about the end of the series.

A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel. KJC has done it again. The sequel to her Doomsday Books series is fantastic, with a vivid cast, an excellent main pairing, and superb pacing. Couldn't put it down. A great historical m/m romance.

The Warrior's Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold. I'd heard a lot about Miles and it was fun seeing him bullshit his way across the galaxy.

The Mountains of Mourning by Lois McMaster Bujold. A novella in the Vorkosigan saga. Very touching and emotional and a great character study of Miles. Really loved this.

Newcomer by Keigo Higashino. This dude is seriously amazing at crafting unusual murder mysteries. This one is structured as vignettes of shop-owners in a Tokyo neighbourhood and, as the stories progress, more light is shed on the mystery of a strangled woman.

Faithful Place and The Secret Place by Tana French. Fantastic prose, absorbing murder mysteries that are more like deep character studies as well as an incisive portrait of contemporary Ireland.

The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski. This is pretty grim at times, ngl, but it has a daring structure with lots of POVs, switching between numerous timelines, a frame device, lots of found materials (essays and chapters from fictional books). All that worked for me very well. I love some experimentation with craft. I wouldn't say it was my fave read, but I'm happy that I finally reached the end; completing a series always gives me a dopamine rush so yay

progress on my reading goals

A reminder that my two goals for the year are:

to read (some or all of) the Vorkosigan saga

to read less or no US authors

I'm doing pretty well on those two scores. Read a few installments of the Vorkosigan saga, and (besides Bujold and a poetry anthology by Maggie Smith) have read no other US-based authors. My intention was to diversify my reading and, indeed, so far, I've read French, Japanese, Polish, UK, Australian, Irish, and currently reading a Ukrainian author.

fics I loved

I've not read as many books as I normally do so far, esp in the last couple of months, but I read a lot more fic than recent years. I've read some fab stuff in a variety of fandoms. The fics I'm going to rec below are the longer ones that I read on my ereader:

Tarnished Gold by Prim_the_Amazing (bingqiu/svsss, M, 118k) Inventive premise. Couldn't put it down.

Memory (T, 23k) and Out of the Dead Land��(M, 62k), both stucky, both orphaned by one of my top authors ever. The second one gave me the worst fic hangover I had in ages. I had to go and rewatch Captain America.

contrapasso by damagecontrol (jegulus, E, 41k) Very horny. I like that.

Fire Burn and Caldron Bubble by pastapug (jegulus, E, 40k) Lush language, fascinating setting.

Beholden by Faith Wood (faithwood) (drarry, E, 123k) Gave me all the drarry feels.

Shout out to @hoko-onchi-writes's WIP: To Hold You in the Earth's Unholy Din, which I am loving <3

That's all, folks. Here's hoping for more wonderful reads till December!

[driftingmoonmenace]

Ok ok ok I'm gonna just dump all my DCA OC thoughts/info in a post cause I'm shy with rambling about them individually with ppl atm 👉👈💦

BUT OK SO I've been like rattling this idea around in my brain for quite a while! At first I just had Paradox and he was just in his own little AU world thing, but then I decided to just take all my DCA ocs and shove them into a world together and they just work at different Pizzaplexs and stuff.

Paradox's info is still pretty much the same! He's tired of being treated badly by adults and acting out by retaliating with pranks and it's getting on Fazco's last nerve. So they hired a handler to keep him in check.

I got my other Eclipse model, Equinox, he's from a defunct Pizzaplex, there's a lot that went into it closing down, but before he could be decommissioned like the rest, he managed to escape and is 'on the run'. He travels cross-country on a motorcycle with a mission to help other animatronics get out from under Fazco. He totally leans into the 'badboy' persona and has modified himself over time to look how he wants to.

And then there's Umbra! He's a Moon model that Equinox picked up on his travels, and is his journey partner! Umbra was also a Daycare Attendant and had a Sun counterpart, though unfortunately he was officially decommissioned before Umbra could do anything. It's a sensitive subject for him and he's completely on-board with Equinox's plan to save as many animatronics as they can because of it, and maybe take Fazco down too. Umbra is super smart, and a little shy. He tries to make up the plans, but half the time Equinox goes jumping into potential danger before he can even finish getting his thoughts out. It exasperates him, but Equinox is 'totally cool' to him and man he wishes he could be like that and boy he's kinda hot too oh wait wait wait keep it together!

Lumi and Nova are Daycare Attendants who were separated and updated as part of a rebranding for their pizzaplex! Though mysteriously after a year, Nova has gone missing and Lumi has no idea where he's gone. Every night Lumi tries to find clues and access computers to try to find out what happened to him along with searching the pizzaplex from top to bottom. (Nova is actually alive but was moved to a completely separate pizzaplex where Fazco figured he'd 'fit in' better and hasn't made up their mind if they want to keep Lumi alone or build another Sun counterpart for him.)

Then I got Sol and Lune, they're mini Sun and Moon DCA models, and were made more so to be helpers for human daycare employees rather than actual DCAs. They were made as a test run in comparison to regular DCA models and it was found that the regular DCAs were more popular with the kids than the mini versions, so now they don't come out too often and are kept basically in a storage closet. They're only let out when a certain threshold amount of kids is met and the human employees need help or for events. Sol is fed up with being a 'toy stuffed in a closet' and is making plans to escape. Lune tries to be a voice of reason but Sol is pretty hard-headed.

Last but not least I got my pink DCA, Astra! I still don't know much about them, but I think she'd be the next DCA model that Equinox and Umbra find. She's got wings, though she can't fly, and I think she's a beta model that isn't released to the public. They're not quite a Sun model but close to it, not sure how to describe it really! Super sweet, upbeat, and cutesy but they're ready to throw hands and they pack quite the punch for being so petite!

I also may have more DCA OCs knocking around in my brain as vague ideas atm that eventually will get thrown into this hot mess of a mix later...but uh YEAH!

Eventually everything just goes to shit with Fazco and all my OCs end up in a group together but I haven't figured out everything yet. There's a plot in there somewhere! *vague hand gestures*

[beanibon]

Do you do g/t requests? If so, would you be willing to do something with a Giant! Knives and a Tiny!Reader? It could be sfw or nsfw. Much appreciated!

Of course! Fair warning I may not be the best with g/t, but something about a tall Knives coddling his tiny human makes me soft!

CW: nothing! Just pure tooth rotting fluff and wholesomeness, sorry Anon I really wanted to give Knives some loving from his tiny mate.

If anyone were to ask where you'd see yourself in the future, the first thing that came mind would be the opposite of this. Enjoying the sunset on the tallest building in Julai city, with an oversized, 10 foot tall, independent plant wrapped around you like a cat.

Still, nothing could change this, not even if world was offered in its stead. How could you ever possibly replace the rare affection of your odd relationship with the planets most deadly creature. You simply couldn't.

As your hand brushed through those soft tresses of platinum blonde hair, humming as the wind began to turn chilly, you couldn't contain the smile from appearing on your face.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" You asked softly, afraid to stir the partially snoozing Knives.

A huff sounded, ice cold eyes staring up into your own as they solely focused on the sky. "I suppose, though I find gazing at you much more preferable."

"Is that so?" You giggled.

"Is it wrong to compliment my mate?" He queried, often getting confused at your teases. Knives had never quite grasped the concept of human behaviours, characteristics and personality. Why would he when his soul intention was to free his sisters from humans? Yet he tried around you, finding it difficult at times when you playfully teased him.

Gently you grasped his face, a loving kiss placed between his brows. It was enough reassurance that you only teased, leaving the plant to untense and bury his face against you.

These times spent together were rare, as Knives spent more and more time travelling to reclaim what was his. Never did he take you with him, for fear of you getting hurt or worse. So you remained in the care of the Eye of Michael in his absence, that way you were always protected.

He stirred, shuffling into a sitting position where he gently scooped you into his lap, arms wrapped around your small frame. The warmth you provided was comforting, easing Knives into a light slumber.

"Are you tired, my angel?" You asked, gazing up as his eyes opened reluctantly.

Those cold eyes were only ever filled with warmth when gazing upon you, the moment you weren't in view that stare turned stone cold immediately.

"Yes, but if you wish to stay beneath the stars longer than I'll stay."

"Ever the gentleman," Your laughter was addictive, if only he was more skilled in bringing it out. Humor wasn't his strong suit. "But I can enjoy it inside just as much as out here, so please take me inside. That way you can rest, you've had a long journey and I'm sure others will allow their god to relax for a night."

Knives elected to ignore your mockery for tonight, ever since you happened to hear him refer to himself as a god he's been the butt of your jokes for months. Not that he truly minded, if it meant to hear your laughter.

"Hush, unless you wish for me to gain a headache." Knives attempted at a joke, which seemingly worked as he hoisted your tiny body with ease into his arms.

"You only get headaches when you leave me unsupervised in your piano room, I can't play those notes properly with how big everything needs to be for you."

"Well, maybe you should stick with the one I had specifically crafted for you. After all, that did take a bit of funding to put together." Knives shot back, a gentle smile present as you playfully slapped his chest.

"It's not as fun!"

A deep laugh rumbled from your beloved, face nuzzled into the curvature of your small body. How he enjoyed such light-hearted banter, if only Vash were here to join, then maybe he'd feel even more complete.

"If you behave and let me rest, perhaps I'll allow for your 'artistic key smashing'." A kiss was placed against your stomach, earning him several along his forehead in return.

"You have a deal."

[soliloquent-stark]

(if you’re looking for more humor from me, I’m going to shamelessly self-plug three fics: Something Real Good Going On, Build Me Up Buttercup, and my destiny (in quite a similar way). and want you when things go wrong has some texting! I’m so glad you like the texts, makes me want to write more texting fics 🥰)

thank you for the recs, i can already tell i'm going to love them!! <3 i am saving them for when i have some time but i want to share them with the world as well:

Something Real Good Going On

“You know, Steve, I think DUM-E likes you. Maybe I like you too.” “Glad to hear it. After all, it’d be a shame if I needed to win over my own boyfriend."

Build Me Up Buttercup

Tony sees the gold letters spelling “Stark” on the edge of Steve’s hood and his mind grinds to a halt. Steve looks good wearing his name. Too good. (In which Steve starts experimenting with a new style. Tony does not find this infuriatingly attractive, thank you very much.)

my destiny (in quite a similar way)

“I’m in love with you.” The spatula in Tony’s hand clatters to the floor with an audible thwack. (In which Tony is incredulous, Steve is determined, and absolutely no pancakes are made for breakfast.)

want you when things go wrong

“You’re bleeding.” Steve registers the flatness of the man’s voice before he recognizes it, and then suddenly his heart is thundering in his chest because that’s—that’s Tony’s voice. (In which Steve gets hurt at a charity event, and Tony’s reaction is extremely revealing.)

and, again, the fics that prompted this ask:

give me your number (i'll give you mine)

Somehow, Tony freaking Stark showing up at the store isn't Clint's biggest shock of the day.

daynight, daylight

When it happens, it feels completely unexpected and yet inevitable at the same time. (A cool summer night, an accidental kiss, and a realization years in the making.)

[viridian-house]

Do you have any favorite naruto fics you’d recommend? Any pairing, complete or not, on-hiatus, gen, oneshots, anything is fine lol

I was legitimately just pruning my bookmarks the other day!! thank you so much for asking.

I don't read too much fanfic these days, and I'm picky when I do--only about grammar/punctuation and immersion though. I ship a LOT of stuff (I guess The Youth would call me a proshipper) and although I never read darkfic, I don't shy away from weirder kinks and unhealthy relationship stuff.

categorizing by pairing, if applicable. some of them are smutty, and please note that the first 3 come from FFN which doesn't have a tagging system, but there is some SA CW I'll give in advance.

KAKASAKU | my first OTP! formative fics that totally reshaped my understanding of what fanfiction could be, and how well-written chemistry can make it or break it

HOUSE OF CROWS is the quintessential kakasaku fanfic. it was written during shippuden and so is canon divergent because of that, but also tells a comprehensive story of its own right that is intriguing and well planned. excellent characterization and world building. leaves me gutted in the best way on my yearly reread.

DUTY BEFORE HONOR is another silvershine classic. I don't reread is as often as House of Crows but they are just about equal in quality. again, the chemistry between them is off the charts, and the world feels so alive.

WILL OF FIRE for me is up there with House of Crows in being essential kakasaku reading. cynchick is a multisaku champion and a wonderful storyteller. the stakes in this one are stressful, the romance tense and believable, and we once again get lovely world building and great chemistry.

ITAKISA | a pairing near and dear to me, because men who do everything wrong are so deeply relatable. they both know they don't deserve anything good ever again but they found each other!!!! ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS--

A SHARK HIDDEN INN THE LEAVES doesn't have my favorite version of Kisame, but he's plenty close enough. it's a lengthy oneshot that got me into certain *ahem* kinks. it is a very fun and wild fic that is entirely self-aware of how absurd it's being, and manages to have nothing but sincerity at the same time (and I highly recommend the author's other stories as well)

AN ORCHESTRA PLAYING ON, INSANE is a modern AU (extremely rare in my bookmarks) that absolutely tore my heart out. god is it SO much to ask for these losers to be happy?! yes, it is, and I love every moment of it

MADAMITO | a rarepair I am SUCH a sucker for that has some of the most talented authors writing for it. lots of them have ot3 elements between them and hashirama, often angsty, but stuff like that is part of the appeal for me, lol

A HANDFUL OF SKY is an unfinished fic that I genuinely think about like once a week. if it ever updates then I will be over the moon. technically hashimadamito but it hadn't quite gotten there yet

LIKE ALTARS is just such a beautiful piece of writing, mostly on madara. it is everything, that is all

BLOOD AND RIVER WATER is more mito-centric but has one of my favorite madaras of all time

YOURS ARE RATTLED BONES is another short, mito-centric but gut-wrenching piece featuring the opposite type of madara from the last one

OTHER | character-centric stuff that isn't necessarily shippy but also doesn't have a very "gen" vibe either?

A SERPENT IN THE RICE is a little series about orochimaru that makes me feel so so so many things. highly recommended

HERETIC is such a love letter to kushina, and kurama too. cannot stress enough how much I adore this one

there's a few others that I probably won't link on tumblr, mostly unhealthy and/or "problematic" smut hhfhdj but maybe I'll make a public rec list on ao3 for these different categories and stuff like that.

but yeah that's pretty much it!!! I know it's not a huge list with a lot of variety but it's what I've enjoyed over the last 15+ years in the naruto fandom.

[unseededtoast]

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller

Part Twenty Two

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross posted on my Wattpad and AO3, if you prefer those formats. Here is a link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted.

"But that night you got hurt, I enjoyed killing them. I liked hearing them die in front of me, their blood staining my hands."

Joel and I don't stay in the town for another night, we continue on. Our pace is slower than what I've become accustomed to, but Joel's wound isn't completely healed yet. The two of us have been silent after our discovery, Joel didn't have anything to say after I declared my death threat. No, instead of saying anything, he just handed me the photos and nodded solemnly.

With the two of us getting closer and closer to Omaha, I find myself feeling appreciative of Joel's slower pace. This gives us opportunities to find things we may have otherwise missed. And it also gives me more time with him. Since his near-death experience, I find myself trying to memorize the way his eyes shine golden in the sunlight, the way his voice sounds in the morning, how his shirt clings to the broadness of his shoulders, just small details. The small details are the ones I know will fade first, and I want to be able to hold onto them for as long as possible.

I know this to be fact because I can no longer quite remember what Ryan's voice really sounded like, and I can't quite remember just how soft Lucas' hair was. The simple things about them have slowly faded from my mind without me realizing it, until I thought about them one day and could never truly remember. I've never been able to forgive myself for forgetting, and I know I don't want to forget these things about Joel. After all, he's the man who has kept me alive all this time.

A part of me wishes I could be there when he's reunited with his pseudo-daughter. I wonder if he's going to tell her about this, or never mention it to her at all. She would have no idea I exist, or that Joel and I took this trip together. I know Joel is trying to protect her from the people of this world due to her immunity, so it makes sense if he never tells her about any of this. She's still a child at the end of the day, and no child should hear that there's a bunch of crazed men out there trying to find and kill them. Even if she never knows about me, or any of this, I know I'll still be able to rest peacefully at night with the knowledge that I helped protect her.

"This okay for tonight?" We stop walking as Joel points out a small, run-down gas station. It's likely the only building for miles, and so I agree to stop here for the night.

As we set up our makeshift camp, I continue to think about the girl waiting for him back in Wyoming. After hours of on-the-road thoughts, I can't help but to be fascinated with someone who is immune. It's glaringly obvious that she's one of a kind. Sure, I've known for a while that she's immune, but I think it just took some time to process it, to really understand what it means and the ramifications of it. But mostly, I just want to know how it happened. What caused her to be immune and why it's not being replicated anywhere else, that we know of.

My eyes follow Joel's form as he starts the fire for the night, my thoughts anywhere but the present. I watch how he situates the flammable material while wondering what his life is like in Wyoming and if he's excited to be back. Obviously, he's probably eager considering he's got family waiting for him. He lights the fire and the amber glow illuminates his features in soft light. His eyes look warm and inviting, the curve of his nose beautifully adorns his face with unique character, the plumpness of his lips reflect with the drink of water he just took. As if he feels my eyes lingering on him, he looks over and meets my gaze.

"What's on your mind?" He asks, shifting back from the fire a few feet as it takes flame. My eyes dance between him and the fire, debating if I should confess or not.

"I um, I've just been thinking about a lot of things." It's not a complete lie, I guess. Orange flames rise and dissipate, crackling in front of us.

"About what? You've been quiet since this morning." Instead of confiding in him my most recent thoughts, I decide to unload the other thing that's been bothering me for a while now, since he was stabbed. With a sigh and a quick lick of my lips, I tell him my moral dilemma.

"I've never been one to enjoy taking a life. Didn't like it when I was on FEDRA gate duty, and I didn't like it when we ran into the Fireflies. But that night you got hurt, I enjoyed killing them. I liked hearing them die in front of me, their blood staining my hands. And I've been having these thoughts of what it's going to feel like to kill these people. It's almost anticipatory." Our eyes stay locked on one another as I speak, my words quiet and somber. With a shaky breath, I continue,

"And I'm not sure what that makes me. Am I really any different from them if I look forward to killing?" My throat constricts, like my body doesn't want me to voice my fear. The silence between us is palpable and dread grows in me with each second Joel doesn't say something. Not being able to handle the criticism when he opens his mouth, I focus on the fire.

"Doesn't make you a bad person, if that's what you're worried about." He finally speaks, and his words catch me off guard, the total opposite of what I was expecting.

"Then what does it make me? Because it isn't good." My voice cracks. I know it's not fair to be asking him these questions, but, I can't stop from asking them. He shifts his weight to his other side and leans forward slightly, looking deeper into my eyes and I fear if he looks too hard he'll be able to see right into my soul.

"Makes you human. Means you have purpose, something worth protecting. Or, in your case, a ledger to balance." There is no trace of anything but authenticity as he speaks, his words settling into my mind. My eyebrows come close together as I mull over what he's said and I realize he may be right.

"You know I really thought you were going to die that night." I change the subject slightly, not wanting to admit to him that he's becoming my 'something to protect' and a part of my 'ledger to balance'.

"And if I did I suppose it was just my time." He relaxes his posture as if the thought of death is no more stressful than deciding what he's going to wear the next day.

"Don't say that." I shake my head, not wanting any more images of his dead body in my mind. The one from this morning, from the photos, still haven't left my mind. Each time they pop up behind my eyelids, it instills a new fear in me each time.

"You did a damn good stitch job." He tries to lighten the mood, pulling up the hem of his shirt to show the still intact sutures.

"It's a wonder you didn't bleed out. Do you even remember what happened?" I'm not entirely sure how much he saw, or what he remembers. To answer my question, he shakes his head.

"Not really, just remember you gettin' there and the rest is just kind of-" He motions with his hands that his memory of the night has become scrambled.

"One of them got you real good with their machete. I stuffed the wound with my shirt to try to stop the bleed and then I had to get you to another building. On the ground just outside of where we ended up there was one of their torches, barely still burning on the sidewalk. So I took it and heated the blade of my hunting knife, then I cauterized the cut. Found the sewing supplies when I was looking around and just did my best. Truthfully, you lost a lot of blood, like, way too much." I give him the brief recounting of the night. His fingers lightly trace the stitching before he meets my eyes again.

"Thank you." He tenderly says, dropping the hem of his shirt.

"It was the least I could do." I shrug one of my shoulders. The silence between us returns for a few more moments before Joel announces that he's going to get some sleep for the night. I tell him I'm going to as well, but end up staying awake.

After a while, the flames of the fire begin dying off but my eyes remain affixed to the back of Joel. The shirt across his shoulders is drawn tight, battling to stay intact. His dark curls are barely brushing the collar of the shirt, more prominent from the humidity of the day. As my eyes wander down his solid form, the chain around my neck seems to burn my skin. Disgust with myself boils up from within, and I force myself to look away from Joel.

My gaze turns up to the ceiling and I try to flood my mind with how Ryan sounded, how he felt, how he loved me. Bits and pieces come back, like how his hand felt on my cheek, how solid his chest felt when I hugged him, but I cannot remember his voice. I can feel the timbre of it, but can't place the true tone and inflection. Tears well in my lower lash line as I accept that I genuinely can't remember him fully anymore. I've known for a while that certain things have faded, but I never took the time to mourn that loss, I have not allowed myself to mourn Ryan the way I should have all those years ago.

My hands curl into frustrated fists, my nails digging crescent shapes into my palm as silent tears run down my face. Tears of guilt for forgetting, tears of sadness because I can no longer remember all of my husband. Tears of fear because I realize that I may be falling in love with another man; one whom I cannot be with. I grit my teeth together in lieu of screaming and a hollow feeling opens in my chest.

Moving faster than my mind can keep up, I go outside where the air hits the wetness of my face and sends a shiver down my spine. Once I'm sure that I'm far enough to where Joel can't hear me, I let myself cry. With each ragged breath I take my chest heaves up and down unevenly. Tears uncontrollably run down my face and I grip the chain around my neck tightly, wishing I could just have one more second with my family, wishing I could feel the warmth of their skin on mine, to tell them how much I love them one final time. Hoping and praying that my love for them and their absence is enough to stave off the feeling blooming inside of me for Joel.

All through the past ten years I've yearned to have my family back, there's been a hole in my heart, a void that has never been filled since outbreak day. A void that hasn't been hurting as much the past couple of weeks. I've always missed Ryan and Lucas, but lately their absence has been a dull ache as opposed to the sharp stabbing I'm used to. I'm not sure what this means, because I know I love and miss them vehemently. But I also know how I feel about Joel.

Unable to stay standing, I lower myself to my knees, burying my face in my hands. My eyes squeeze shut and the tears fall off the ends of my eyelashes. Guilt overtakes me as I remember how on outbreak night Ryan protected Lucas and I to the best of his ability. How he told me he loved me, and that we were going to be alright. If only I had turned that corner first. Why was I the one to survive, but they had to die?

Guilt burns into anger and I blame myself for what happened. If only I had been brave enough to go first, then maybe they would still be on this Earth. I know they could've forged a life for themselves somewhere. Meanwhile I was content being shipped everywhere and ended up being a lowly pill runner. Why couldn't that FEDRA guard have shot the infected two seconds earlier and spared them? It just isn't right.

Sobs strain my throat while I try to stay quiet and I use the sleeve of my button up to wipe my nose. The stars above me shine brightly and I stare at them, stray tears falling down my cheeks. If only they could reach out to me and let me know that wherever they are, that they're together and they're not suffering, that they're not angry at me for feeling this way about Joel.

Ryan and Lucas will never be able to be replaced, they will always occupy a special place in my heart. I know I can never have them back with me physically, yet I know that they are forever with me, tethered to the very fiber of my being. But I feel that my heart is opening up a new spot, and I'm not sure I'll be able to kill whatever is blooming. I'm not sure I want to.

With wide eyes I search the sky for some sort of sign, some indication that my feelings are right or wrong. But my search is cut short when I hear the door of the gas station open. Quickly, I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my face and hope that the darkness of night will conceal my puffy face. As my head turns to face Joel, I can almost swear I see a streak of light in the sky. But by the time I do a double take, whatever I thought I saw, is gone.

"Are you okay?" Joel's voice cautiously asks as he slowly approaches me. The stars are shining so bright tonight that I can see the familiar crease between his brows. His boots crunch softly on the loose pebbles on the pavement and I nod my head, trying to stabilize my breathing.

"I'm okay." My voice betrays me as I speak, it comes out hoarse. Joel comes to my side, and lowers himself next to me, crouching instead of resting on his knees.

"Why don't you come back inside? I'll get the fire started up again." I feel his eyes on me as I stare back at the sky, one last lone tear sliding down my cheek. Joel's words are smooth as honey, calming and soft. A gust of wind blows past us, sending another shiver up my body.

Joel must see the slight quiver as the breeze passes, and he puts an arm around my shoulders, the other under my elbow, and he helps me back to my feet. He keeps his arm gently wrapped around me as we go back to the gas station, and I lean into his touch out of instinct. Before we enter the building, I stop and take one last look at the sky, hopeful to see whatever it was that zoomed past when Joel stepped outside just to confirm what I think it was. But nothing happens.

I step back into the building in front of Joel, who works to get the fire reignited. My body begins to physically calm down from my crying, jagged breaths turn into hiccups. The first one shocks us both, but after the second I think I can almost see a tiny smile on Joel's face. However, when he turns to me after the fire is rebuilt all signs of a smile are gone and is instead replaced with a caring expression. Joel's dark brown eyes are wide and I see how his eyes look over my face, his shoulders aren't tight and rigid, he almost looks relaxed.

He walks over to me and leads me to what I've claimed as my spot for the night, marked by my backpack. Gingerly, he sits me down and crouches by my side once more, moving a rogue strand of hair out of my face that was plastered to my cheek from the tears. His fingers are warm against my face, and he lets them linger there for just a second longer than he needs to. My eyes slowly blink, appreciative of the contact. He licks his lips and his eyes look over my face once more, trying to piece together what's wrong.

"You don't have to tell me why, but I just need to know that you're alright, that you're not hurt." I look into his eyes that are inches from me and I nod with another hiccup jolting through me.

"I'm not hurt." My hoarse voice confirms to him and I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand to dry them fully. I feel that my eyes are puffy, my lips swollen from keeping quiet and I hope I don't look as disheveled as I feel inside.

"Okay." Joel nods and only then does he back away from me. Though I wish he would stay. However, I know that with my uncertain emotions, that it's probably better he that he doesn't. For his sake. He doesn't need to be roped into my personal shit show.

Every few minutes a hiccup interrupts the quiet, and each time I see Joel struggle to keep a smile at bay. I'll admit, they do sound a little ridiculous and if I weren't so upset I'd probably laugh at them too. But as my hiccups calm down, I find myself transfixed by the dancing flames.

Perhaps I needed to come to terms with my reality, accept my losses, and understand how Ryan and Lucas are still a part of me to be okay with something new. And perhaps this something new is for the better. Even if it doesn't work out, at least I know I'm still human enough, capable enough, to keep going.

Twenty Three

[garchu-garchu]

Guys, I love Ace as a character. He's cool, he has an interesting story and growth, I love that he has a (quite literally) fatal flaw, and his parallels with Luffy are very nice...

BUT.

I'll always die on the hill that his death doesn't hit as hard as it could have. When Impel Down/Marineford comes by, we barely know anything about Ace himself. He has had such minimal screentime. We know and care for Luffy of course, so his unwavering determination to save his brother compels us to care too because we want Luffy to succeed, and Ace was a nice guy back in Alabasta so we have a shallow bond with him. We also know that he got caught in the first place because he wanted to defend Luffy, so it adds to that brother bond. That alone is part of why we care for his death - because it hurts seeing Luffy lose his brother after EVERYTHING he has done to save him. After he was already technically saved. It's a very touching scene to follow from Luffy's perspective, and Ace's last words are heartbreaking and bittersweet. It's very hard not to feel emotional because the scene is very well written.

But just IMAGINE if we had gotten the ASL backstory before. Of course, I'd tone down the "I'm not going to die!!!" Ace constantly says to still keep the shock of his death, but it would've been MILES more impactful. The backstory is there to add more context to Luffy's grief (and does an amazing job setting up the "I still have my crew" line), and it still hurts when you look back and realize how tragic Ace's death was in retrospect - but we've already felt the bigger feelings!!! The "climax" has already happened and only now we're building up on it? Don't get me wrong, this retrospective storytelling format CAN totally work. But this time, I think Oda should've gone with the standard "backstory to build the climax" format he usually does in his writing. Retrospective storytelling often works best with smaller bits of info, mysteries, and plot twists - not something so big and special like a character death. It also works for Brook! I think it's very clever to have his backstory only be told in the latter part of the arc as closure. Because we already know what happened to his crew and we've learned to care for Brook through the arc, so the scene hits hard like a truck. It works because his backstory isn't very relevant to the arc's climax anyway, only for his own character growth.

The ASL backstory gives us so much more insight on both why this is important to Luffy and helps us understand Ace's character. To me, the most heartbreaking fact we don't know in a first watch and that I think we should is the fact that Luffy (assumedly) has already lost a brother. This completely changes the framework here. It adds a very huge layer on why Luffy is so set to save Ace at all costs. He's lost a brother before, and he's not about to lose another. He has a chance this time. Back with Sabo, they felt hopeless - but now he's strong enough to at least try. And yet, he loses. He's all alone now. He's lost both of his brothers. And that's such an important tidbit we only learn after the fact!!!

We also completely miss the fact that Ace felt alone and rejected by the world ever since he was a kid. Yet he had a whole fleet he saw as a family and his little brother show up in the main Marine base to fight against all the Admirals just to save his life. This adds a LOT of impact to his last sentences and to Whitebeard's sacrifice. Yet... we don't feel that at the moment, either. We only learn of this later (if I recall correctly, I could be wrong about this one).

I genuinely truly feel like showing the backstory before would've made Ace's death more emotional. To me, as it's written, it feels like punching Arlong without knowing why Nami was hurting. It feels like seeing the Nine Scabbards' annihilation without seeing Oden's backstory. Or seeing the Going Merry burn without watching the rest of Water Seven. These would all still be emotional and impactful scenes on their own, but the context makes us understand their stakes and the emotional weight behind them. Because as it stands, Going Merry's death made me cry a river... while Ace's death made me emotional, maybe got my eyes a little watery. And it's a shame because I'm sure I would've cried a river too if I knew the whole context.