#My whole sleep schedule been thrown away

[scribe-of-hael]

Can anyone just send me positive asks or somthing its 8am. I've had 3 hours of sleep. I'm tired, stressed, paranoid and anxious as all hell. I just want somthing nice to read or talk about.

[cllightning81]

Comfort [LN4]

Summary: Lando comes home after some races and just seeks comfort within your arms (including some little extras)

Paring: Lando Norris x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Based on THIS request

Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist Want be included in my tag list? Click HERE

You knew that Lando had been struggling over the past few races, but he wouldn’t ask for help. That’s just who Lando was; he wanted to do everything by himself that was just him. The drivers championship was heating up, and Lando was struggling mentally. He’d deleted all his social media from his phone and just told his team what he wanted posted. 

His friendship with Max wasn’t challenging away from race weekends, but during race weekend, you could slowly see how they weren’t talking to each other. 

You hadn’t been able to join Lando in person this weekend. You’d wanted to due to the championship but prior commitments. Lando understood, but as you watched the race weekend from either your office or from the comfort of your and Lando’s shared home, you could see how his posture and facial expressions showed how he was feeling. 

Your facetimes and texts with Lando felt different. It was like you were talking to Lando when you started dating, and he was all shy again. You weren’t exactly sure when Lando was due home, so when you were laying in bed scrolling through TikTok, you were surprised to hear the lock on the door turning. 

Sitting up in bed, you could hear Lando sneaking in. I'm definitely sure it was Lando due to the massive thud from his bag landing on the floor before he started sneaking about again. As you sat your phone down on the bedside table, you were ready to get out of bed when Lando walked into the bedroom 

“I thought you were sleeping” He whispered, his hoodie getting thrown in the washing pile that you’d left at the door of the en-suite. He continued getting undressed as you answered 

“Sleeping? Don’t you know my sleep schedule?” You joked, and he shrugged, walking into the en-suite 

“That’s true” He laughed a little as you pushed the covers away from your body, watching him brush his teeth 

“Have a good flight home?” You asked, and he shrugged 

“Wasn’t bad. Osc and I played monopoly. He lost obviously” He replied, walking over to the bed. Climbing on the bed nudging your legs open with his hands. You just watched him, letting him find a comfortable place to lay down. 

He decided to lay his body between your legs, his feet dangling off the end of the bed after refusing to buy a new bed so that his feet wouldn’t do that. His head rested on your stomach as he looked up at you with those doe eyes that he seemed to always have at home at the moment. 

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, one hand rubbing comforting circles on his back as the other hand threaded through his newly cut mullet playing with his hair at the same time 

“Want to talk about it?” You asked quietly, nothing wanting to push him to talk about something that he wasn’t comfortable talking about. 

“This whole papaya rules shit is so fucking annoying. Like why can’t we just fight it. Like I obviously understand Hungary. Osc led the whole race and we spoke about it after the race, understood it and I get that I was a bit of an ass because I was annoyed. Then there’s so many idiot fans who think they know better about the fight with Max and the championship fight. I just want it to fucking end” He complained as you nodded along. You sighed just wishing you could take the pressure off his shoulders 

“I’m sorry my love. Is there anything I can do to make it better?” You asked gently and he shook his head 

“Just cuddle with me?” He asked and you nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to his head. Lando pulled himself up a little to press his lips to your own. 

“I forgot to do that when I got in” He hummed, pressing his lips to your own before settling back in his previous position. You smiled playing with his hair 

“Have you had anything in date to eat?” You asked and he nodded 

“Osc and I stopped for some food before driving back” You nodded with a small smile 

“Good, I’m glad” You smiled, pulling the duvet over Lando resting it on his shoulders. During the winter break you could see Lando’s shoulder’s relax, his smile had returned and overall it seemed that your boyfriend was back to normal and you couldn’t be happier

As you sat on the boat with some other friends around you couldn���t help but smile as you watched Lando interact with his friends. Walking back over you handed Lando his drink before his hand wrapped around your waist sitting you on his lap.  Your head resting between his jaw and shoulder as you breathed in his scent, your hand resting on the other side of his face. What you hadn’t realised was Max and Pietra had started taking pictures of the two of you with Lando’s smile bigger than it had been in a while.  “I love you” You whispered, allowing his smile to grow even wider even if it hadn’t been possible.  “I love you too” He smiled.

Later at dinner you’d noticed a change in Lando’s demeanour and you frowned looking over, scotting closer to him 

“Are you okay love?” You asked quietly wanting his friends to hear the conversation 

“Yeah, it’s really just hit me how much I love you and how much you’ve done for me” He whispered and you pouted a little pulling him into your body as your hand rested on his jaw. His eyes squeezed shut as his other hand rested on your back 

“I’m never going anywhere. You’re stuck with me for life” You smiled pressing a kiss to his jaw line, the closest body part to your lips. 

“Marry me?” He whispered, pulling back only slightly to look at you

Coming Soon

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[jenctrl]

my little scrump*ೃ༄

"despite being across the world and miles apart, the canine is always there for her feline, especially when she's sick and grumpy, truly acting like her little scrump."

warning; from the blackcat!Y/n series, the parts don't need to be read in order!

“Stop being stubborn and lay down in bed,” Chaewon argued, making a meek attempt at trying to pull Y/n off of the stool the girl was sitting on. However, the feline’s arm slipped right past her grip and all she got was a grunt of disapproval. 

Y/n wasn’t talking to Chaewon.

The older couldn’t figure out if it was because she was still sick with the flu or if it was because she got the flu from Chaewon. Could it be because they were missing their group schedule in America? Or because something or someone wasn’t here. Y/n had always been impossible to read, well, not to one person. 

She had become aware that Y/n turned whiny and reasoned like a five-year-old when she was sick though. 

Chaewon had a toddler on her hands. 

She squinted her eyes, leaning her weight onto Y/n’s desk as she wasn’t sitting far from it. The feline was focused on the canvas in front of her that was on its stand. There was a faint, barely there, scent of oil paint lingering in the girl’s room. 

Chaewon had spent her whole flu in bed and gotten better quickly with a few symptoms lingering. She wasn’t sure how Y/n was able to even sit up on the stool without toppling over, however she could see the small shivers run along her body. The feline was sitting with her knees hugged to her chest, in sweats and a t-shirt. 

Her stubbornness was driving Chaewon crazy; Y/n was refusing to take medicine, she didn’t want to rest and simply wasn’t doing anything she should be doing, but rather the opposite. The leader scratched at the side of her neck while staring intensely at the girl who was clearing her throat and sniffling. 

She pushed herself up and made it over to the girl’s bed to get her phone; there was one person who knew how to handle Y/n.

Y/n blinked her sore eyes as her night had been uncomfortable and she could feel herself slipping to sleep. The past few days she had felt empty as she had been isolated and she wouldn’t have minded. She had always enjoyed being alone, but it was different now that a sun had appeared in her small empty world and suddenly it was dramatically yanked away and thrown across the world. 

It wasn’t as dramatic, but it could as well be.

She tilted her head, ignoring Chaewon who walked out of the room, assuming that the older girl gave up on trying to make her get better. Her eyes scanned the painting which grew duller the longer she looked at it. It felt like grey clouds were covering the whole sky and she shivered at the cold that ran over her sore muscles. 

It was clear that something was lacking and nothing ever lacked in Y/n’s life; that’s what she told herself at least. She would hate to admit that she needed someone else but herself. 

“This one is gonna be huge on her.” Chaewon widened her eyes at the hoodie she pulled out, thinking about Y/n’s tall yet petite frame. She still threw the hoodie over her shoulder, the feline rarely wore hoodies and a cardigan or sweater didn’t seem like a cosy enough option in the latter’s opinion. 

“The bigger the hoodie the better,” Yunjin commented as she watched Chaewon stand back up after rummaging through her wardrobe for the specific black hoodie she knew Y/n liked. It was Yunjin’s favourite too, but she left it behind for the feline.

Chaewon did not have the patience nor knowledge to take care of the younger girl and so her last resort was the girl across the world. It was early morning on the other end and midnight was approaching in Seoul and the leader hadn’t succeeded with anything the whole day.

Now that Yunjin was awake she could help. 

“She’s literally about to turn 20, I feel like I’m taking care of a toddler.” She still complained as Y/n’s demeanour did a whole 180 the second she got sick. It was unlike the girl and it left her worried, but also in shambles as she had tried everything. 

“Do you want my help or not?” She questioned, however, Yunjin wouldn’t hang up until she knew that Y/n was all fine and asleep. It was already hard enough for the canine to fall asleep and then sleep through the whole night knowing that Y/n was sick on the other end of the world and suffering through her day without Yunjin being there to take care of her like she always did. 

“What’s with all this casual talk to me?”

“My bad bro.” 

“Okay well, that didn’t make it better–” Chaewon pointed out with a frown, seeing that America was already back in Yunjin’s system. She sighed, “What more?”

“The Scrump plush, she forgot it on my bed.” She sang out, resting her chin in her palm as she patiently, more so impatiently, waited for Chaewon to get the stuff and hand the phone over to Y/n. She wanted to talk with her and make sure she was fine. 

Chaewon scanned Yunjin’s bed and grabbed the scrump plushie whose head was on the pillow. With everything in hand, she made her way towards the door to get back to Y/n’s room downstairs.

“She doesn’t want to take her medicine.” She pointed out.

Yunjin frowned, over the past few years of knowing Y/n she knew her like the back of her hand, well, there were still things she was learning about her. Y/n was and always would be somewhat of a mystery. Whenever the girl was sick she took it upon herself to take care of her even if every manager advised against it; Yunjin would rather get sick than not take care of Y/n. 

“It’s anxiety-inducing, she doesn’t like taking it, but if you mix it with something–”

“I am not doing that.” Chaewon cut her off and stopped at the stairs to look down at the Facetime call with a frown. The two stared at each other in a second-long silence. 

“Then she won't take it.” Yunjin huffed out in frustration, mimicking Chaewon’s frown but a lot more seriously. “And I’m not there to take care of her either. They didn’t let me stay.” She continued as she wanted to stay behind for a few days, but obviously, that wouldn’t have worked out. Her lower lip jutted out as the corners of her mouth went down at the sadness she felt of being away from Y/n. 

It wasn’t the same, the nights were empty without a moon in the sky. 

“Because we have a group schedule.” The leader mumbled as she continued to make it down the stairs, ignoring Yunjin’s sad and devastated face; looking like a puppy kicked to the curb. 

“Has she eaten yet?”

“No.”

The loud gasp from the girl on the other end resonated through the whole hallway. It was almost midnight in Seoul and Y/n had yet to eat. 

“I tried to have her eat something but she says she has no appetite.”

“Because she needs her medicine first with something little to eat to get the fever down and then her appetite will be back.” The canine argued, feeling her heart rate spike up in worry at the information she was receiving from Chaewon. It was enough that they could barely talk because of the time difference and that they were miles apart, but now she was hearing that Y/n was not managing at all.

“Yunjin.” 

“You just need to make toast with jam, but mix the powder with the jam.” Chaewon groaned at Yunjin’s demanding yet pleading voice that quivered the slightest. It left her no choice as it looked like the girl on the other end wouldn’t stop whining about it and she needed to feed the second youngest member in the end. 

Chaewon stopped for a second as she entered the room, seeing that the feline was barely sitting on the stool at this point. Her cheek pressed against her knees as her one eye was closed and she meekly used the brush against the canvas. 

Y/n heaved a sigh and looked away from the painting and at the older girl who made it over to her. “Being stubborn and grumpy won’t get you better.” Before she could reply the brush was removed from her hold and Chaewon placed it off to the side together with the rest of the things, Yunjin on the call included. 

She didn’t have the energy to argue as her hands were wiped off of any possible paint with the damp rag. It didn’t register in her head when everything suddenly went black and then the light came back; a hoodie now draped over her body. It made Y/n shiver, but in a good way at the comforting warmth and most importantly the scent it carried. Things started to feel like home for the feline.

“Come on, get up.” She was ordered and groaned in response, however, she allowed Chaewon to pull her off of the stool. Her tired eyes looked down at the plush that was placed in her hold and next followed Chaewon’s phone. 

The older girl guided Y/n over to the bed before leaving as the younger was being entertained by Yunjin. 

“You really are my little Scrump, acting like you only have six days left with how sad you look,” Yunjin commented, unable to hide her smile, making her pull the collar of her shirt to make it more subtle. Her eyes roamed Y/n’s face on the screen which became a blur when the girl manoeuvred around to make herself comfortable.

“You could pass as Scrump.” The canine laughed, teasing the sick girl. 

Y/n huffed, her eyes squinting the slightest at Yunjin as she finally lay on her stomach, resting her chin on the scrump plushie. “Are you comparing a sick person to Scrump?” The feline bitterly asked and got a nod in return. 

“I want to see you two side by side–” Yunjin started and looked at Y/n who didn’t budge. “Please?” She added with a small pout and the younger girl groaned in annoyance, her voice a slight rasp. 

Suddenly everything seemed less gloomy; Y/n’s sky was starting to clear up from the dark clouds while Yunjin’s nights had their moon back

Yunjin laughed as Y/n and Scrump were side by side; the girl’s messy hair from the hoodie took away from how serious she was. The baby hairs that stood up at the top of her head made her resemble the plushie even more. 

“Yunjin–” Y/n whined, seeing the screenshot Yunjin took which made her put the plushie down with a frown. 

“I needed a new phone background.” The feline rolled her eyes and settled her cheek against Scrump’s head, making Yunjin tilt her head at how it squished Y/n’s cheek. She took a screenshot with her memory this time to not further stir the already whiny girl. She was aware that even if Y/n would never admit it out loud she loved being doted on and babied when she was sick. 

Yunjin would always do it even if they were worlds apart; she’d do everything and anything to take care of Y/n and make sure she was fine. The same way Y/n did even if she didn’t say that she did; Yunjin felt cared for. That was more than being told that she was cared for. To just know. 

“You’re just staring,” Y/n mumbled, her eyes half open as she stared right back at Yunjin who she had silently watched move around the hotel room. The older girl’s eyes still constantly glanced over at Y/n until she was sat in an armchair and could have all her attention on her. 

“I miss you and looking at you and being with you and just you. The rest are getting annoying to look at.” Yunjin replied, her ginger strands falling over her shoulders as she stared down at the phone with a small smile that made her eyes crease and heat run to her cheeks. She couldn’t get enough of the girl, but she wouldn’t tell Y/n how cute she found her at the moment. 

It made a want grow in her; to take the girl and squish her out of love. 

She’d do it the second Y/n and Chaewon would land in Los Angeles to resume their schedule with them.

Yunjin’s eyes laid on Y/n with a fondness in them, one that made the girl forget everything even being sick. However, Yunjin was more than just a distraction for Y/n. She had somehow turned everything Y/n always wanted to be distracted from into something she no longer minded; Huh Yunjin made life bearable for Oh Y/n. 

“You will get annoyed by me too at some point.” Yet specks of gloom would grain Y/n’s view, but it was never for long with Yunjin there. The feline hummed grainily, still sick albeit distracted from it, her body slowly melting into the mattress. 

She’s heard people judge the girl, she’s seen how hard Y/n had it; being dubbed as hard to deal with and put up with; a stuck-up outcast. To Yunjin she was necessary; she was the moon that pulled her tide. 

She didn’t need the rest to know it though, to know Y/n’s worth and the person that she was; she only needed Y/n to know it. She would always reassure Y/n, she would never get tired of it, never get tired of her feline. 

“The only thing I will get annoyed by is you not being with me.” Her eyes squinted, one a bit more than the other until she closed one fully to inspect Y/n even closer. “Is it wrong to miss you? We can barely even talk because of the time difference.” She sighed, opening her eyes and jutting out her lower lip with a tilt of her head.

“No–” Y/n halted in her words and stared back at Yunjin, her frown still present and she at last relaxed and slumped fully into her bed. She hugged the plush closer to herself while still resting on it, blinking as she felt the words forcibly pushing up her throat, making her purse her lips in an attempt to stop them. Yunjin made it impossible though. “It's annoying because I miss you too.” The feline let out annoyed. 

Yunjin let out a breathless chuckle at the words, deciding to leave them at that to not test her luck. It did spark up her insides and make her feel warm; Y/n always made her feel better and she only wanted to do the same. 

“I’ve heard that smiling is a powerful medicine.” There was still one thing she wanted to do and it was to make her Scrump smile. 

“Well, clearly you haven’t studied medicine.” The canine rolled her eyes at the reply while Y/n looked at her unimpressed. 

“I don’t have to study it to know that seeing you smile makes me feel better and that it makes me smile and then it will make you feel better when I smile, Scrump.” 

Y/n raised her eyebrows at the girl’s reasoning, refusing to smile at the light-hearted words that were nothing more than silly yet meaningful. Her eyes observed Yunjin who moved around, propping the phone up to stand on its own.

“Like this…” The latter closed one eye for better accuracy while using her fingers to try and lift the corners of Y/n’s lips. It was like magic; Yunjin smiled bigger as Y/n tried to hide her face in her shoulder only to peek up and not be able to hold back the smile that tugged on her lips at what the girl on the other end was doing. 

The smile was too big for Y/n’s liking, especially over such silly gestures, but the simplest things from Yunjin did that to her.

“You’re so stupid.” She grumbled and let the phone drop face down just as the door opened. 

“Bro, pick me up!” Y/n ignored Yunjin’s complaints and turned onto her back, propping herself up against the pillows resting against the headboard. 

“Could you please eat this?”

“I guess I could,” Y/n replied, taking the plate from her leader as Yunjin’s whining about being picked up continued. Finally, after hours uttering a word to the other girl.

“Is she being annoying?” Chaewon questioned, unsure if she should pick up her phone, hearing the girl on the other end click her tongue at the question.

“She even called me bro. America is getting to her head.” 

“Hey!” Y/n rolled her eyes at how loud Yunjin managed to be even through the phone, eating the toast she was served. The older girl slumped down beside Y/n and took her phone at last, flipping it over and the first thing she received was a stank face which made her do one in return.

“Why are you acting like I threw you away?”

“Could I get Y/n on the phone, please?” The canine discarded Chaewon’s question, catching a glimpse of Y/n’s head that rested against the leader's shoulder. 

“She’s eating.” 

“I wanna watch.” 

“I’m not a tripod.”

“You could serve as one for now.” 

“No.”

“Ok then give her the phone so she can hold it and you feed her.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“I don’t think I want to have kids in the future anymore,” Chaewon grumbled as she accepted the ridiculousness of Yunjin’s request. It did let her make sure that Y/n ate everything. 

She realised how much Yunjin spoiled the girl but what baffled her the most was that Y/n allowed Yunjin to spoil her and didn’t argue about it like she did with everyone else. The girl didn’t shut her out nor did she turn a cold shoulder. Not being there to do it, she did it through the leader. Always finding a way for Y/n.

“You’d be a good mother.” Y/n tiredly mumbled, starting to feel better, subtly stretching her limbs and wordlessly seeking for comfort that she got from Chaewon who wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It let her snuggle up to her with her head on her chest, eyes growing heavy.

“Since when are you nice to me?”

“Since always.” The feline replied, her eyes barely open as Yunjin was still on the phone, now getting ready for the schedule they had today. She was still not tired of talking endlessly as Y/n quietly listened the way she always did; Chaewon doing most of the talking with the latter.

“You were just a pain in the ass a second ago.” Y/n huffed at the words as Chaewon patted her head before running her fingers through the black strands.

“Okay well actually, do maybe reconsider becoming a mother.” Chaewon rolled her eyes, looking down at the phone with feigned bitterness as Yunjin was giggling.

“Please Yunjin, talk to her until she passes out.” 

Yunjin happily did, talking until both of them fell asleep. 

[gggukniverse]

not tired | jjk

title: not tired

pairing: jungkook x female reader

rating/genre: fluff and smut, established relationship au

summary: jungkook helps you sleep on a stressful night.

warnings: anxiety (pretty detailed description of an anxiety attack so pls read carefully), a lot of praising, oral (f. receiving), jungkook is really really sweet.

wordcount: 2.1k

note: okay hiii this is the first story i write here, pls be nice !! also english is not my first language so please excuse any grammar error. i hope you like the story !!!! <3

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this is ridiculous. you've been studying all day non-stop even though jungkook got mad at you for not resting and yet you're feeling as awake as ever. you can see it's already 3am on the digital clock on the nightstand and you don't feel not even a little bit of tiredness in your body.

you can hear jungkook's soft snores against your neck, his arm lazily thrown over your waist and his leg tangled with yours. he's obviously sleeping, he fell asleep almost as soon as you both got into bed, but it's been like 5 hours and you're still staring at the dark ceiling not knowing what to do to be able to fall asleep.

it's not the first time you have trouble falling asleep, but usually you didn't have any problem when jungkook was not working outside the city and could be with you. you know it's because of the stress you've been going through these past few weeks over your finals, you can literally feel the tension in your body, you can't relax because tomorrow you have the last exam of your last year of college.

oh my god, the last exam is tomorrow and you can't sleep. you'll need to feel awake tomorrow for everything to go well and you can't seem to rest. you're gonna fail, the exam is gonna go terribly because you can't sleep.

you suddenly start feeling out of breath, you need air. you need to breathe. walking towards the window seems like the best option now so, as much as you love having your boyfriend curled up to your side, you need to push him away. you start to do it as gently as you can, pulling his arm away from your body as your own arms start to shake with the anxiety building up in your body.

but he notices. his body twitches and he's suddenly opening his eyes, tilting his head a little to look at you.

god, you woke him up. he was resting for tomorrow. he also has a busy schedule tomorrow, that's why you both went to bed early tonight. now his sleep has been interrupted because of you. it's your fault.

you can literally feel your throat closing up, you can't take in any air. you can't breath and your whole body starts to feel numb.

"baby?" jungkook rasps, moving to stand on one elbow so he can see you better through the dark. the little light coming from the window lets you see his worried expression. "baby are you okay?" his eyes are barely open. he must be so tired.

your mouth opens for you to try and tell him you can't breath but your voice doesn't come out. you can't talk and you're starting to feel dizzy with the struggle of trying to breathe. the best you can do is reach for his arm with your hand.

you can see the realization in his face. it's just like a switch turns on inside his brain. jungkook quickly sits up and holds you by your arms to sit you up on the bed right in front of him.

"hey, look at me baby." his voice is calm but you can feel how he's trying is best not to freak out because he knows that's the last thing he should do when you're having an anxiety attack. "breathe with me, okay?" his hands are placed on your arms, softly caressing your skin. "just like how i do it." he takes in a big breath, his shoulders lifting up a little to emphasize the action.

you do your best to follow him but a sob escapes your throat when you can't take a breath because you're hiperventilating.

"slowly baby, you don't need to rush it." jungkook says as soon as he sees you struggling and you nod, closing your eyes for two seconds before looking at him again. "breathe with me." he takes another breath again and exhales, you start to follow, little by little. "so good baby, you're doing so good." he nods with a smile that already makes you feel so much better than breathing. "i'm here, okay? look at me and breathe." he takes a big breath again and you follow, your lungs starting to feel better and your body relaxing again.

when you close your eyes you can feel tears that you didn't even know you had rolling down your cheeks, but jungkook's fingers are quickly wiping them away.

"are you feeling better?" he asks and gives you as much time as you need to steady your breathing before opening your eyes and looking at him again. you nod but it's not enough for him. "words."

"yes." you finally say and he smiles, sighing in relief. "thank you.. so much, really."

"what happened?" he mutters and you suddenly feel so bad because he truly looks tired.

"i- i couldn't sleep, and i have to rest before the exam tomorrow, i'm gonna fail and-" as soon as you start rambling jungkook grabs you by your arms again and shakes you a little.

"baby breathe, okay?" his voice is so soft. you nod and take a few more deep breaths before speaking again, slowly this time.

"i've been trying to sleep for hours but i can't, i can't relax and i need to rest for tomorrow.."

"why didn't you wake me up before?" he pouts a little and you lower your face in embarrassment.

"because i didn't want to bother you, you shouldn't be awake right now." you mutter.

"hey, no no no.. don't worry about me." jungkook quickly replies and slides his hands down your arms to hold your hands. "what can i do for you to get sleepy?" he asks and you shrug.

"i don't know." your voice breaks and you try to play it off since your head is down and jungkook wouldn't be able to see the tears in your eyes. but he knows.

"come here." he lets go of your hands to open his arms.

a little smile appears on your face and you move to straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his neck while he wraps his around your body, keeping you close.

"you're stressed, aren't you?" he mutters and you swallow, closing your eyes and trying not to start crying. "i know.. it's okay baby, you're doing so good." one of his hands starts rubbing your back up and down. "close your eyes."

"they're closed." your voice comes out shaky so he hugs you even tighter.

"do you want me to sing to you?" he says and leaves a sweet kiss on your neck.

"mhm." you nod.

"okay." you can hear his smile on his face and slowly starts to rock back and forth to calm you down.

as soon as he starts singing you can recognize the song. it's one of the songs he wrote for you a while ago. he sounds really tired but you find it impressing how he can still sound so good. his hands keep rubbing your back slowly, actually calming you down.

but by the time he finishes the song you're still awake.

"baby?" he whispers.

"still awake." you mutter and hear him sigh. "koo, you should sleep." your hand goes to his hair, tangling your fingers with it.

"not until you fall asleep." he hums and you chuckle a little.

"you almost fell asleep three times singing.

"i'm okay." the boy insists and you roll your eyes. "c'mon, lay down." he flips you two around to lay you down on the bed.

"what are you-" the words die on your throat when he suddenly puts his lips on yours.

he kisses you really slowly and your whole body relaxes once again, your legs going to wrap around his waist but he quickly pushes them down again, which earns a whine in protest from you.

"stay still." jungkook whispers as his kisses start going down to your neck.

"koo." a little moan escapes your mouth when he sucks a hickey on your neck.

"pretty." he mutters and goes up to your ear. "can i make you feel good, baby?" you shiver when you feel his breath against your ear. "just with my mouth, you only need to lay there." the little bite in your earlobe makes it for you.

you nod and immediately buck your hips up, making jungkook giggle. he helps you getting rid of your pajama shorts along with your panties and lifts your shirt just enough to place little kisses all over your stomach as he positions himself between your legs.

"so pretty.." he repeats and you put your hand on his hair, pushing it away from his face to be able to look at him while he bends one of your legs a little and puts it over his shoulder, starting to leave kisses on your inner thigh too. "close your eyes baby."

with a sigh you let your head fall back on the pillow and close your eyes.

"breathe, okay?" jungkook reminds you again before leaving another kiss on your inner thigh and you hum in response, taking a deep breath and letting it go.

although your breath hitches when you feel his fingers teasing your entrance, only when he starts running them through your folds you notice how embarrassingly wet you are.

"koo please." you whimper and hear a little chuckle from him.

"shhh.. stay quiet." the order only makes you feel hotter.

but you're definitely not quiet when you feel his tongue on you. a loud moan slips through your lips and you tug at his hair unvoluntarily.

"so sweet.." he hums and you tug even harder, but he wraps his hand around your wrist and squeezes. "relax baby." he says and gives your folds a wet kiss.

"sorry.." you whimper as you relax your hand.

"it's okay, you're so good for me."

the praise makes you melt and you let your body fall limp on the bed, trying not to twitch everytime he gives a suck to your clit.

he's slow, really slow to show you that he's doing this so you can relax. your body feelss numb by this point. he knows what he's doing, he knows better than anyone else how sleepy you get after an orgasm.

each time you moan he also hums in response, making the vibrations push you closer to the edge, and each time you buck your hips up he pushes them against the mattress again.

"koo.." a whine escapes your lips when you feel a finger prodding your entrance as his tongue circles your clit.

"can i?"

he said only mouth before but you can't say no when his finger starts being swallowed inside you so you just hum with a nod, whining when he easily slips another finger. you know you're still stretched from the morning before. yes, jungkook likes morning sex.

"fuck..." you sigh when he starts slowly moving his fingers in and out. "mhh.. so good.

the chuckle he lets out makes you clench around his fingers, he takes the opportunity to curl them inside and you cry out his name as your legs twitch from the pleasure.

"there?" he asks as he curls his fingers the same way again, the tips brushing against your sweet spot.

"yes." you moan and bite your lip to try to hide embarrasing sounds.

"like that, baby?" he keeps moving his fingers in the perfect way and gives your clit a little suck right after asking.

"koo.. fuck." your back arches inevitably and your hand tugs at his hair again. "don't stop... please..."

he doesn't stop, he keeps doing exactly what you need and soon after you're clenching around his fingers with a loud moan and trembling legs.

"so good." jungkook praises as he lets you ride your orgasm on his fingers and kisses your clit one last time. "such a good girl."

"koo..." you try to catch your breath and reach out to him with your hand. "come here." you beg and he's quickly hovering on top of you again.

"how are you feeling baby?" he asks and gives you a sweet kiss. you don't care that he tastes like you, you lick his lower lip.

"mhh... tired." you giggle against his lips and he smiles.

"good."

"i feel a little sticky, though." you mutter, making him chuckle.

"wait a second," he gives your lips a last peck. "i'll be back." he gets up from the bed and quickly walks out of the room.

but you don't remember him coming back. you've already fallen asleep.

–

–

–

A/N: aaaaaahhhh i hope u liked this little story !!! feel free to tell me your thoughts, it would be nice to see a little feedback, it would help me get motivated to keep writing <3 thank u so much for reading. have a nice day 💕

[bullet-prooflove]

I've just found your work and I'm obsessed 😭 I never usually ask for things - too scared lol but feeling brave. For Dr Archer Chicago med and the three things prompts please can I request: cat + whiskey + socks 😂

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @mysticcandymiracle @sweetdaytimedreams @cosmic-psychickitty

Dean does not want a cat, he has never wanted a cat but apparently he now has a cat, one that likes to nap in his sock drawer and yowl him awake when he sleeps past seven am.

“That’s because he likes you.” You tell him when he complains to you about it. You have  the whisky coloured kitten snuggled up close to your chest and you’re depositing tiny kisses on the top of its head. “He knows who his Papa is.”

“Isobel.” He says firmly. “I don’t want to be it’s Papa, we need to rehome it.”

The look on your face, it makes Dean feel like a monster.

You don’t speak to him after that. You spend the evening playing with the kitten on the floor until it curls up on your lap and falls asleep and he just watches the Cubs game, pretending that there isn’t an icy cold chill between the two of you.

This whole thing started when you were cutting through the park on your way home a couple of days ago. You’d heard a persistent meowing coming from one of the trashcans you walked past and when you’d looked inside, you’d found a tiny bedraggled kitten, thrown away as if it were trash. You’d bundled the thing up in your coat, brought it home and it’s been living here ever since much to Dean’s discontentment.

When he wakes up the next morning, you’re already gone from the apartment but the cat it’s still there. He observes the note on the coffeemaker telling him it’s been fed asit lingers by it’s bowl looking hopeful.

“It’s nothing personal.” He tells it as he takes a couple of the cat treats you bought out of the pouch and places them in the bowl. “I just like my space.”

The cat brushes up against his hand, rubbing it’s cheek across his knuckles. Dean scratches it behind the ears and it begins to purr under the attention, stretching out as his palm lightly caresses over its back.

“Maybe we can come to arrangement.” Dean tells the kitten, scooping it up and escorting it to the fluffy grey cat igloo that now resides next to the sideboard in the living room. He sets the kitten down in front of it and it brushes it’s face against the fabric. “You stop finding your way into my sock drawer and actually go to sleep in the cat igloo she got you then maybe you can stay.”

The cat delves inside, padding it’s paws on the pillowing and Dean takes that to mean they’ve come to an accord.

It’s late when you get in that night, it’s been a bear of a shift. There’d been a pile up and you’ve spent the past few hours trying to find space for your additional guests and work their autopsies into your already busy schedule. You still haven’t had a chance to find a new home for the cat, part of you is hoping Dean will change his mind but you know the likelihood of that.

When you step into the living room, Dean’s sitting on the couch watching an old war movie, the kitten is resting on a cushion in his lap, his palm lightly stroking over him as they both stare at the screen.

“Are we keeping him?” You ask, trying as hard as you can to keep the excitement out of your voice and Dean sighs as he looks down at the kitten.

“I guess we are.”

Love Dean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[chil-aglia]

Silent Night (Ronin’s birthday/christmas special)

ITS TIIIIME

So, it’s Christmas Day rn in my Timezone and it’s also Ronin’s birthday!!! So of course, I have to dedicate a birthday chapter for the Christmas boy. It won’t be canon to the storyline itself (at least I don’t think it will, but who knows) this may or may not end up being either a short chapter or a long chapter. 

But yeah, please enjoy, wish the birthday boy some love, comment below your thoughts on the story/characters and let’s dive right in!

Sorry that this isn’t an episode chapter guys. But I’ll get writing to that soon at some stage!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas in New York is said to be magical. The streets and buildings decorated with dancing flashing lights and Christmasy vibes all around.

Christmas itself was also magical. A time for friends and family to gather together and enjoy the holidays together with presents and all kinds of joy. 

It was truly magical.

But not everyone could have that kind of luxury.

Ronin opens his eyes, blinking them a few times to wake himself up and get his eyes adjusted. He sits up in his hammock, stretching his arms up and yawning as he hops off his bed and grabs the grey mask dangling on the mirror that was leaned against the wall.

He pokes his head out the hole of the water tower that he resides in, exhaling as the winter air has his breath been visually seen. He shivered lightly as he steps out and warms up his arms by rubbing them with his hands. 

He looks up, he noticed that it was still night. He must’ve slept the whole day away that it messed with his sleep schedule. Not that he minded, he always preferred to be a night owl. “Hungry….” He muttered to himself, his stomach rumbling as he rolls his shoulders and began to journey off to look for food.

He scales the building he was on before dripping down graciously onto the ground in the alley way. He had to make sure he stuck with the shadows tonight, he knew what day it was after all, and everyone in New York can get a bit nutty during the Christmas season.

Christmas….

Ronin walks off, as he promised himself, he stayed within the shadows, avoiding the street to not risk being seen. Ronin did stop a few times to stare at the light up window stores in buildings that were still open. He smiled lightly at the sight.

Ronin always liked the idea of Christmas. The decorations, the shopping, the food, the warmth of friends and family being together. It really made his heart warm. But…he himself had never actually experienced the true holiday spirit.

He was alone. No family. No friends. No food. At most he might spruce up the water tank with thrown out decor and maybe he’ll get a little plant and imagine it as a Christmas tree. But he can’t bring himself to do even that at times.

Too sad.

There was another reason he liked Christmas though. His birthday.

Not many actually knew of his birthday. He never spoke about it. He didn’t think it was of any importance for others to know about. Of course, sometimes he’d let it slip out or somehow, they managed to piece it together.

Big Mama was the first to know. Or he should say second? Does Draxum count?

Ronin lightly scoffs at that. Draxum had no clue he was even alive. He doubts the Yokai even remembered his birthday. Not that he cared if he did or didn’t.

Gah, he didn’t want to think about him. Not on this day.

Ronin snuck his way to a store. He used the back door entrance to sneak in and quickly grab whatever food he could get his hands on. He also grabbed an energy drink on the way out. 

He was skilled in the art of stealing. He’s done it millions of times even when he was a child. It was a piece of cake for him. Ronin smirked at the goodies he got before he starts climbing up the fire escape ladder that was connected to a apartment building.

He almost made it up to the roof until he paused and hid slightly in the dark when he peeked into a family apartment through their window. They were happily eating dinner together, laughing, drinking, music playing in the background as the children played around with their new toys.

Ronin pictured himself somewhere in that little gathering. He lingered to watch before shaking his head and climbing the rest of the way up. It was a little hard to do it one handed while carrying some food, but he managed.

He walks over to the edge before sitting down. Cracking open the energy drink as he gulps it down. He puts it down, half empty now as he silently watched on. 

New York. The city that never sleeps. Especially during the Christmas period. Ronin saw all kinds of people walking below. Couples, hand in hand. Families heading home with last second presents. A group of friends stumbling about, clearly drunk but none the less were having a good time.

He took his phone out, checking the time. He scowled at the messages he saw from Big Mama. Asking him to take on a few jobs and just over all annoying him. 

He let out an annoyed click before he started to mindlessly scroll through his contacts. His finger hovered over someone specifically.

Adriaen.

Ronin blinked. Should he wish him a merry Christmas? Ah, but he’s probably busy with those brothers that like to hang around him. Maybe Ronin should send a quick text saying it was his birthday, send him a picture of himself on this roof eating junk.

Ronin bites his lip, he was considering it, but he eventually shuts his phone off and puts it away.

He looked forward, his breath visible once more when he exhaled out air. He didn’t want to bother Adriaen on Christmas Day. He should spend it happily with his family. Not with Ronin.

Ronin was used to having no one around to spend his birthday and Christmas with. This shouldn’t bother him. 

He picks up the energy drink, downing the rest of the liquid before tossing it down into a dumpster in the alley. He propped his leg up and rested his arm on top. But he found that to be a little uncomfortable, so he puts the leg down and just leaned back slightly, taking in the night of New York with its festive atmosphere.

He gave a small but sad smile.

”Happy birthday to me…and here’s to another Christmas.”

Another year all alone….

Maybe next year things will change.

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A/N: I APOLOGISE FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT WERE MADE, I TYPE REALLY FAST AND OFTEN DON'T SEE THEM UNTIL I ACTUALLY PUBLISH THE CHAPTER.

So…weren’t expecting that kind of little chapter for Ronin did ya? Unless you did then hooray? I love my boy, but yet I continue to torture him by making him sad on his birthday and on Christmas—

ANYWAY! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it. Hope you all have a happy day. 

[garf-lover96]

Vesuvia Weekly; Watching Them Sleep (Rowan and Julian, feat. Portia!)

originally i had two concepts for this prompt and then just kept scrapping them interchangeably before i finally settled on this one. i wrote it in first person to try out something new!! the word count is like 1k as usual

———

"...And you're telling me this happens all the time?"

Portia stares down at Julian's unmoving body, his cheek pressed against the kitchen table and eyes closed. Her eyes are wide with shock but I can tell it's taking every ounce of self control she has for her to not burst out laughing.

Julian was convincing me that he could manage to stay awake for a few more hours since we already invited Portia over for some early evening tea. But the moment I left the kitchen to let her in through the shop's door, we both heard a harsh thud followed by a low croak. Apparently it was Malak that played a part in making Julian smash his forehead into the table.

I shoo the raven off his head with a deep sigh and he lands on the nearby counter with an annoyed caw.

"Not all the time... We just fell out of our sleeping routine a bit recently." I say quietly and cross my arms, "We used to go to sleep together—getting into bed strictly at the same time—to keep our schedule consistent, but all it took was one all nighter pulled and..." I wave my hand in Julian's general direction with a mildly guilty expression. It was my recent fever that made him not sleep well in the first place after all.

"Even all that caffeine didn't help him in the long run, huh?" Portia scoffs and rolls her eyes, "...He looks awful." she mumbles, tilting her head to get a better look at him.

We both keep staring at Julian. Nobody would expect someone as perpetually exhausted as him to be an aesthetically pleasing sleeper... And he sure looks terrible. His hair is disgruntled, his eyebags worse than ever, he has a faint red mark on his forehead and he's starting to drool onto the table a bit. That's actually kind of cute... At least his face doesn't seem tense, as it so often does due to his night terrors.

So, suddenly, I get a very strong urge to defend Julian's honor in front of his own sister...

"Actually, he doesn't look all that awful. He's been worse. This is, despite the fact that he's passed out on the table, a big improvement from where we've come from-"

"I can still say he looks ugly." Portia cuts me off with a snort, desperately trying not to start giggling about the situation like a maniac.

"Well- I doubt that Nadia looks all royal and stunning even while she's asleep..." I bite back and nudge her arm with a smile.

"Hey, don't you dare drag Nadia into this! I'll have you know, she looks especially gorgeous when she's asleep!" she tries to sound offended, but isn't able to hide the huge grin on her face.

"...I refuse to believe that."

Just when I think our bickering session is only beginning, Bluebell, that's been sitting cuddled up to my neck this whole time, snags a strand of my hair and brings my attention back to Julian.

"...Right, I should at least get him to bed." I sigh out and scratch the magpie's neck gently.

"Need help with that?" Portia asks, but she's already walking around the table to hoist Julian up from his seat.

"He's light enough... If you just help me get him into my arms, I should be fine."

We move the chair away from the table and Portia manages to catch him before he completely topples over.

"Damn it, he's completely knocked out." she grunts out as he grabs his shoulders.

We maneuver his limp, asleep body for a good few minutes before I finally manage to get a secure hold on him. His arms get thrown over my shoulders which causes Bluebell to fly over and perch on Portia's head instead. And I have to hold his thighs really high up so that his feet don't drag on the floor...

"Pfhah, now he's drooling on your neck..." Portia snickers and slides the chair back under the table.

"Right, just... Just open the door to the bedroom, please..."

I can feel Julian tighten his hold on me for a moment and beginning to nuzzle into my neck before his chin painfully stabs my shoulder. It makes me shudder but I just start walking faster to get him in the bed as soon as possible... At least he's easier to carry when he's holding on like this.

Portia holds the bedroom door open for me and I finally manage to walk over with him to the bed. Supporting his back, I try to lay him down as gently as I can, but I accidentally stumble and make him hit the mattress. Then I almost fall over on top of him which actually makes him stir a little.

"Ahh, who goes there...?", he rubs his eyes and squints at me, his accent sounding a little thicker with those being his first conscious words.

But oh no, I know that tone...

"Has the time finally come? A charming knight has arrived to wake me from my slumber..." he says in a theatrical voice and raises one of his hands to touch my cheek.

I freeze, feeling Portia's eyes boring right into my back. "Uh, Julian-"

"What, aren't you going to kiss me and seal our..." he trails off when I shake my head at him. Then he just stares at me with a very confused and disappointed expression.

I straighten up and step away from him. He goes completely red in the face the second he notices Portia is in the room as well.

"I should've known you guys roleplay of all things. Why haven't I seen you on the stage together yet?" she says with a smirk, looking between the both of us. Julian's still so disoriented after the nap that he can't even get a word out... He probably forgot we were having Portia over too.

"We should get that tea, uh... Brewing... Come on." I quickly pull a blanket over Julian and take his sister's arm to lead her out of the bedroom.

"...Are you going to answer my question?" Portia asks after I close the door behind us.

"I uh, I have stage fright, actually." I answer quickly and take Bluebell off of her head.

"You should get over it, and soon. I can only watch Ilya alone on a stage, monologuing away so many times... Maybe a romance would be a nice change of pace in the repertoire." she elbows me in the ribs with a small giggle, "I am serious though. I could even help you practice and all!"

"...I'll give it a thought."

I really do not want to give it a thought. But I know Portia won't let this go, maybe ever. I might as well start getting a costume ready...

[lady-belz]

My Game, My Rules: A Dirty Shorts Fic

Kim Seokjin x Female Reader

Prompt: When he has you pinned down to the bed, leans in and says “Now we're gonna play by my rules.” Author Note: This one somehow got away from me and didn't turn out at all like I expected.

Walking into the apartment, you were greeted by the loud sounds of bombs going off, childish laughter and cheesy music.

Jin was home.

You wanted to roll your eyes.

Ever since he'd come back from Japan with a new gaming console, when he wasn't working his schedule or at the studio with the others, he was glued to his video games.

You couldn't remember the last time you had gone on a date, just the two of you and no distractions.

And it wasn't for lack of trying on your part. You even stood in front of the television in a full see-through pink teddy and his only response was to ask you to move before his character was killed.

You went to bed alone, frustrated and angry that he cared more about his games than you.

He woke you up one morning after a semi-sleepless night (he'd been up all night again, gaming with Jungkook and the loud noises kept you awake) to let you know he had to go to the studio. Namjoon had called him asking him to return to re-do his ad-libs on a song they were working on because the original file ended up corrupted and they had to redo the whole thing.

“Whatever.” you said, turning your back on him to try and go back to sleep. He frowned, wondering at your attitude before he shook it off and headed out.

You managed to get 3 hours of blissful, silent sleep before hunger woke you mid-afternoon.

After a shower, you were in the kitchen making some ramen when you spied the game controller for his console on the coffee table. The longer you stared at it, the angrier you got. You grabbed it and decided to hide it in an empty shoe box in your closet, a place he refused to enter without your permission.

Feeling good about yourself, you returned to the kitchen to finish your lunch before heading into your home office to catch up on some work.

Listening to music helped you work better, so you had your headphones on and blasting loudly, so at first you didn't hear the loud sounds coming from the living room. But in the silence between songs you did.

You quickly removed your headphones and went into the other room to find out what was going on. Your eyes widened in shock at the destruction that used to be your living area. Books, DVD movies, couch cushions were thrown all over the place. Even the coffee table was on its side, looking like an abandoned child on a street corner.

The culprit was currently tearing through the cabinet beneath the television.

“Jin, what the fuck?” you shouted, catching his attention.

“Have you seen my game controller?” he demanded. You took a half-step back and scowled, crossing your arms.

“You wrecked the living room because of a game controller?”

“Yeah, where is it?”

“I don't believe you!” you sighed, disappointed. He looked at you, confused.

“What's wrong?”

“What's wrong? Oh I have a list, Kim Seokjin.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, his inner voice shouted “Full name, dude! You are fucked!” and he suddenly realized he may done something to upset you.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked.

“Mad doesn't even begin to cover what I'm feeling.” you snapped back, turning on your heel and stomping away. He heard the bedroom door slam a moment later. He sat back on his heels, lips pursed. Taking in the destruction he caused, he set about cleaning it up, giving you a chance to cool off.

It was near dinner when you finally made an appearance. He had let you be in favor of cooking some of your favorite dishes as an apology for whatever he'd done. But you didn't speak a word to him, choosing to ignore his existence as you shared your dinner at the table.

His phone pinged a notification from the group chat and he took a quick glance at it.

JK: Hyung, Overwatch later?

He started to type a yes but chanced a peek at the sad expression on your face as you picked at your food and changed his mind.

Jin: Not tonight, Y/n is angry at me and I need to find out why.

Jimin: Maybe because you've been ignoring her for the past 2 months?

Jin: Wah?

Yoongi: Dude, you've been non-stop since you came back from Japan. When's the last time you actually acknowledged her existence?

Namjoon: I thought I was the only one who noticed. I didn't say anything though, didn't want to seem pushy.

Hobi: Hate to say it, but you haven't been very attentive. When's the last time you took her on a date, or hugged her or gave her a kiss and all that couply romantic stuff you're supposed to do?”

Jin sat back in his chair, watching as you took your empty dishes to the sink to be washed. He went over every instance in his head of before and after his discharge and couldn't remember the last time he had even told you he loved you.

Jin: Shit.

Namjoon: We'll put off recording the rest of this week. Lol.

JK: Go fix this, hyung. I'm sorry.

Jin: Not your fault, Kookie. It's all mine and I'm going to fix it.

He glanced up, looking for you but you were nowhere to be found. A moment later you returned to the living room, his game controller in hand, setting it on the table beside him before going back to the bedroom. He did not miss seeing the sheen of tears in your eyes.

He definitely had some apologizing to do.

He was not in bed beside you when you awoke the next morning. You were not surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised...

Until you went into the living room after your shower and saw him standing in the middle of the room surrounded by dozens upon dozens of your favorite flowers. They seemed to cover every available surface. Your mouth dropped open in shock.

“W-What is all this?” you stammered, approaching him. He took your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“I've been an absolute ass to you as of late and I feel horrible about it. I am so sorry.”

“In what way?” you asked, wanting to know for sure if he knew why he was apologizing.

“Beside my schedule keeping me out, when I am here, I'm usually gaming, either alone or with Jungkook when I should be spending time with you. I wouldn't blame you if you broke up with me.” he pouted. You were a sucker for his pouts, and because he knew why you were upset without any prompting went a long way to soothing your hurt feelings.

“Stop pouting, you baby.” you shoved him with a small laugh. He smiled hearing it. Making you laugh was one of his life's pleasures. “And no I don't want to break up with you. I admit, I was extremely hurt. I thought you didn't want me around anymore.”

“Oh no! I would be absolutely lost without you!” he exclaimed, pulling you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “I love you, I cherish you, I adore you.” he whispered into your hair.

“Thank you, Jin. I needed to hear that. And I love you too.” you returned, drawing back slightly to look at his handsome face.

He stared at you for a moment before he leaned in to kiss you, his plush lips mapping yours. Your heart rate accelerated as you kissed him back. You forgot how good his kisses made you feel and a soft moan rumbled in your throat.

Still kissing you because he didn't want to be separated from you for one second, he scooped you up into his arms and strode toward the bedroom.

You took your time undressing one another, kissing each exposed piece of skin revealed before you found yourself beneath him in the middle of the bed.

“Jin, I-” you started to say as he pinned your wrists to the bed above you head. He shushed you, a dark glint in his eye that made you tremble with want. He leaned in to whisper in your ear as he settled his naked body between your thighs.

“Now we're going to play by my rules. So be a good girl and moan for me.” he smirked, making your core throb...

-End-

[planetpiastri]

blinding throwing darts let’s GOOOO “if anybody were to kiss me… i would want that person to be you,” + “you mean— you and me? kissing?” with mr. callsign bob <3 i feel this works but if u think it strikes real well w one of the others do that!!!!

hangman is such an asshole in this LMAO trust i still love him but anyways this prompt is so cute<3 mr. callsign bob is such a sweetie pie i love him | [wc - 1.5k]

The night had been complete shit from the very first moment you stepped through the door into the Hard Deck. As soon as the others saw you arrive, they cheered—and then Coyote’s voice rose above the others, saying loudly: “Hey, come give your lover-boy a smooch!”

Everyone laughed, clapping each other on the chests and shoulders. At first you had laughed too, tilting your head in confusion as you grabbed a beer from Penny and joined the others at the pool table.

“Good to see you,” Phoenix said, giving you a one-armed hug. “We weren’t sure you were going to make it.”

“Thanks,” you replied. “Yeah, my schedule freed up. What was that Coyote said?”

At that exact moment, Coyote and Hangman walked up to you, with the prior’s arm thrown proudly over the latter’s shoulder. Before you could get out so much as a ‘hello,’ Coyote jostled his friend and said, “We all heard the news. Congrats, you two!”

You tilted your head again, fixing Hangman with a deathly stare. “What?”

He had the decency to look embarrassed, knocking his knuckles against Coyote’s shirt buttons and saying, “Come on, let’s get back to the game. It’s not a big deal.”

“No!” insisted Coyote, swaying slightly, and you realized suddenly that he was definitely not sober. “No, this is a big deal! y/n over here made it very clear when we all met up—no sleeping with other pilots, that’s what you’d always say. But looks like even you weren’t immune to this one’s charms.” And he gave Hangman another excited shake.

Slowly, the reality of the situation dawned on you. You wanted to scream; you wanted to dump your drink on Hangman; you wanted to break something. But all that came out of you was a small, shaky whisper: “You told them we slept together?”

Hangman’s cheeks colored. “I said we kissed—”

“But we didn’t!” you interrupted. “We’ve never—I wouldn’t—that isn’t—god, Hangman, why would you do that?”

Coyote squinted, glancing between you and his friend. “Wait—what?”

“Oh, my god,” you said, your face burning hot. You felt like you were going to be sick. Everyone was staring at you. But you only had eyes for the man in glasses on the far side of the pool table, who was watching the whole confrontation go down without being able to look at you.

When you said firmly, “We never kissed,” your words were only for Bob. But he didn’t meet your eyes.

Mortified and disgusted, you pushed off of the stool you were sitting on and shoved past Coyote and Hangman, ignoring the way Coyote stumbled and nearly fell, and especially ignoring the way Hangman tried to catch hold of your arm and say your name as you passed. You blinked back angry tears, furious with the whole situation, and threw open the door to the bar, collapsing against the wall outside and burying your head in your arms.

You’d always known Hangman and his buddies talked about you. From your very first day, they’d been making passes at you, and you’d finally loudly and rudely blurted that you didn’t sleep with other pilots. You’d hoped that would make the problem go away, but it had only made it worse. The others had almost taken it as a challenge, just becoming more obvious and flagrant with their flirtations.

But Hangman and Coyote had been your friends, too. You knew that with them at least, the flirting was light-hearted—more of an inside joke than anything serious by now. And you knew Hangman hadn’t meant any malice behind the rumor. He’d probably just gotten drunk and competitive with the guys and blurted out the best thing he could think of.

But the fact of the matter was that you hadn’t made that rule because of your rigid moral fiber. You’d only said it to get Hangman and his friends off your back, because they were getting in between you and the guy you really liked—Bob.

God, you’d had a crush on him pretty much from the moment you’d met him. And he’d seemed to reciprocate at first. And then you’d said that stupid thing about not sleeping with pilots, and Coyote had made it into this big thing, and Bob had pulled away from you.

And now he thought you’d broken that rule with Hangman of all people.

You wanted to scream. You didn’t smoke, but you wanted a cigarette.

From inside the bar, the bell rang, and people cheered. You rubbed your hands across your face, contemplating just calling it a night and heading back to your apartment to bust into the emergency pint of Ben and Jerry’s you’d stashed in your freezer. Then the door next to you opened, and somehow the night got worse.

“Hey,” said Bob, standing in front of you. He still wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“Hi,” you said, your voice raw. You propped your elbow on your knee, resting your cheek on your fist. “Is everyone talking about it?”

Bob hesitated for a moment, thinking. Then he said, “Yeah.”

“God,” you groaned, covering your eyes with your hands. “So embarrassing.”

The sand crunched as Bob stepped closer, putting his back against the wall and sliding down to sit next to you. The knowledge that he thought you’d slept with Hangman ate away at you, but you couldn’t open your mouth. You couldn’t say anything.

Bob finally broke the silence. “Phoenix made him buy everyone a round. Said this was the definition of disrespecting the Navy.”

You barked out a dry, humorless laugh. “I’ll thank her for it later.”

He shifted on the ground, fiddling with his fingers. After a long while, he said in a small voice, “Is it true?”

“No,” you said immediately, turning to make him meet your eyes when you said it. “I swear. I would never—not with him. It’s not true.” You paused. “Does everyone really believe I would?”

Bob looked uncomfortable. He was trying to meet your eyes, but he kept looking away. He shrugged noncommittally, half-nodding. As if it explained everything, he said, “It’s Hangman.”

You sighed again, thudding your head against the wall and staring up at the sky. Puffing up your cheeks, you blew out a big gust of air. You weren’t sure what came over you then. Maybe it was the emotions running high; maybe it was the tears that were begging to be spilled; maybe it was the tightness in your chest. But you heard yourself say, “I haven’t kissed any of them. If anybody were to kiss me… I’d want that person to be you.”

Immediately, embarrassed heat flooded your face. This was different from the heat back in the bar; this was excited, almost nervous. When Bob didn’t say anything, you glanced sideways at him.

His eyes were wide behind his glasses, staring straight forward, and he’d stopped fidgeting. When he realized you were staring at him, he swallowed hard and said quietly, “You mean—you and me? Kissing?”

You laughed again, clapping your hands over your face. “Oh, my god, I’m stupid. I don't know why I said that. I’m sorry. You must think I’m some horny nincompoop who can’t—”

A rough, gentle pair of hands closed around your wrists, pulling them down and away from your face. And before you could say anything else, Bob had pressed his mouth to yours.

You were still for a moment, unsure how to react. How had you gotten here? But then his fingers squeezed one of your wrists softly, and you reached up to cup his face, and you forgot how to think. His lips were soft, and he tasted like—were those peanuts? And when he pressed his tongue to yours, he swallowed the soft groan that you let out in response, kissing you like you’d never been kissed before—kissing you like he could take away every ache and pain anyone ever caused you.

You probably would have been happy to kiss him on the sand outside the Hard Deck for the rest of time, but the front doors swung open loudly, causing both of you to jump. His hands were still around your wrists—and yours around his face—when you both turned to see Payback, Coyote, and Rooster tossing Hangman on his ass in the sand.

Dimly, you realized that people were chanting ‘overboard’ from inside the bar. Coyote mock-saluted his friend, laughing and turning to go back inside. Rooster flipped him the bird, and Payback said, “Try again tomorrow, Jakey.” Then all three of them went back into the bar.

It was Hangman, groaning on the sand, who was the first to notice the way you and Bob were wrapped around each other. He blinked like he couldn’t believe it, and said, “What happened to not sleeping with pilots?”

“He’s not a pilot,” you said.

Hangman groaned, his head falling back and hitting the sand. “How do I say I’m sorry?”

You found yourself smiling and you pushed one hand up into Bob’s hair, carding through his soft locks. “I’m pretty over it, Hangman,” you said, and then you turned and pulled Bob’s mouth back to yours.

Behind you, Hangman groaned again at the sight, but you ignored him. He might be the most annoying idiot you’d ever met, but without him, you wouldn’t be kissing Bob Floyd on the sand outside the Hard Deck as the sky turned dark. And that kind of made it all worth it.

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Reflective Clarity || 5/5

Starting Chapter Prev Chapter Fandom: Xmen

Warnings: Character worrying if they've been cloned/replaced, incredibly slight implied nudity warning. Other than that idk, let me know

Wordcount: 4464

Summary: After recent events Miranda got some proper rest. She has a talk with Gambit about some worries she has, and spends the rest of her evening with Kurt.

----------------------------- True to the words of her medical friends, some proper rest finally restored Miranda's energy levels. Her return to the Xmen mansion had now been a week or so ago, and over the course of that time she had started to wander around the mansion again; reuniting with her friends and family and hugging all of them on sight as much as she could. Without a doubt, she was glad to be home.

But so much rest had also completely thrown her sleeping schedule off, and she found herself wandering the hallways late at night. On one such occasion, she almost ran straight into Kurt when he walked out of the corridor near the kitchen. He really wasn't easy to see in the dark shadows of the night.

She hadn’t really discussed it with anyone yet, but she was concerned about Kurt. With everyone so focused on her wellbeing, Miranda hadn’t really been able to get anything out him about how he had been feeling over this passed time where she hadn’t been at home; stolen by one of the X-men’s most troublesome villain to be stolen by. She would just have to try again later, she decided.

“Sorry, Süße, I didn’t hear you there. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

“What I need is a bit of movement and some time away from my room,” Miranda said, closing the gap between them to press a kiss to his cheek, “thank you for all your support through this, though. I appreciate it more than I can even begin to explain.”

“You’d do the same for me,” Kurt responded, stealing a soft kiss from her, “if you need me I’ll be in my room, okay?”

She watched him leave, tail vanishing up the stairs as she let out a light sigh. She absolutely had to talk to him about all that had happened and how the whole thing had affected him. Even so, she looked into the kitchen to see Gambit casually doing the dishes; something about the mundanity of his chore really hitting her right in the heart as she pushed the door open and walked in.

“Gambit?”

“Bon nuit, fifolet. Good to see ya up and- oof.” Without another word Miranda had turned Gambit towards herself, all to strongly pull him into a hug and allow herself just a moment to rest her forehead against his shoulder. She felt his arms close around her, giving herself a minute to just linger in the embrace of her friend.

“You alright?”

“Yeah… I just… thank you. For saving my ass, back there.” “Any time.”

He lightly patted her on the shoulder, a soft smile on the lips of the Cajun as she broke the hug. He turned back to the dishes, while she leaned with her back turned to the counter. Comfortable quietly lingered between them, with Miranda silently listening to him washing the plate. It was good to be in his company, his presence next to her making her feel guarded and protected. She bit on her lower lip, looking at the empty kitchen around them before her eyes very slowly went to the man next to her.

Despite the comfort his presence offered, there was something that had been on her mind for the past few days or so. Gnawing at her mind, even; something that she had been trying to ignore as the thought stubbornly re-emerged every time she tried to push it away. Looking at the back of one of her hands, she slowly moved her fingers, watching every little movement they made as if she needed to make sure she was controlling said movement.

“… Remy? How.. How do I know I’m me?”

His washing halted, red eyes set in black sclera’s turning towards her and lightly studying her face. She sighed as he did,

“I… I fell into the hands of Sinister, of all people. With what he’s done to Scott, to Jean, to.. Madelyne. How do I- How do I know I’m not a clone? That everything I remember are my own memories, my actual ones, not ones implanted into me by someone who-“

“Miranda,” Gambit’s tone was gentle as he placed a hand over hers, “a clone wouldn’t worry if they’re a clone; they would just insist they’re the real deal. It took Madelyne a really long time to separate herself from Jean, to fully become Madelyne instead. ‘Sides, you took out whatever that machine was before even setting a foot anywhere near it. You’re you. Honest.”

“But what if he thinks I’m an…” as her voice trailed off, Gambit fully turned to Miranda, seeing her tremble and almost shatter apart in real time as her fears came pouring out through the cracks of everything she tried to hold together, “e-even if he doesn’t, I- I vanished, Gambit, for weeks on end with no contact. I- what if Kurt thinks I abandoned him?! T-That, that I inflicted my own worst fears upon him? He’s been… He’s been nothing but kind and sweet and caring since I got back, but I just, there’s something to him now, since yesterday- I don’t want him to think that-“

“Hey, hey,” his tone was no less gentle, but Gambit was being a little bit firm as he put the glasses aside and took her hands into his, “easy now, petite. From the moment you were gone Kurt wanted for nothing more than for you to come back. He knew you wouldn’t have left on your own volition like that.”

“But I-“

“Oui, you need ya space; you vanish every now and then to self-regulate, but like a boomerang or a hungry stray cat that knows where it can find food you come circling back within the day. When you didn’t, he knew something was wrong. We all knew something was wrong. It ain’t like you to just not come back,” and with that Gambit very gently wiped away a tear from her cheek, “family’s glad to have you back, Miranda. I promise.”

“Thank you. I.. needed that. … I missed you.”

“Happy to help, missed ya too,” Gambit said, slowly letting go of her to turn back to the dishes with a slight smile, “and if Gambit didn’t know any better he’d say you’d be asking for his advice.”

“Yeah, well,” Miranda breathed out, “sometimes brotherly advice is the only thing keeping a woman from losing her fucking mind.”

She let out the slightest little huff of amusement at the sudden deafening silence next to her, a small smirk appearing on her own face as Gambit turned to her completely dumbfounded. She had meant every word; despite their squabbling or maybe because of their banter and constant back and forth in a lot of things, Gambit had in fact become somewhat of a brother to her. Someone she considered herself lucky to count on her side and among the people she called her friends. She just quietly lifted her arm up, holding her pinky finger out to him to which he let out a fond huff and hooked his pinky around hers.

“Told ya I would always have your back.”

“That you did. Thank you, Remy, for everything.”

“Just don’t be calling Gambit nothing like “Brother Remy”, I ain’t no man of faith. Speaking of, I think what ya really need is to have a talk with your lover. It would do the both of ya good to talk about the stress you have been through these past two weeks or so.”

“… You know what, I think that’s a very fair point, and good idea to boot. Thanks. Try not to blow the kitchen up when I’m not around. Good night, Remy.”

He just laughed as Miranda disappeared. Him? Blowing up the kitchen? That was far more her MO when it really came down to it. Still, Gambit couldn’t help but feel himself smile; she considered him like a brother. Of all the things he had never expected out of her, that was one that easily made it to his top five. -

"Kurt?"

Lightly knocking on the door to his room gave her a quiet 'come in' from within, and Miranda still felt unsure even as she entered and closed the door behind her. They needed to talk, she just wasn't sure how to start bringing up the subject that needed discussing with him. He was on his bed, staring at the ceiling in thought with his hands behind his head. She sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking for a moment on what to say.

"... You know I love you more than anything, right?"

Yellow eyes flicked over to her, as Kurt pushed himself up from the bed to sit up straight.

"Ja. Why, have I done anything to make you think I don't?"

"N-No, it's just... You seem troubled. And I think it's because of what happened, with me. I... I'm worried you're placing all the blame of it on yourself."

Oof, that stung; because she hit the nail right on the head. Kurt flinched back a little as his ears flicked down, averting his gaze to the wall next to him. Yes, he did blame himself; had he been with her on the walk she took she wouldn't have been kidnapped by the henchmen of Sinister. He felt her crawl onto the bed, resting her head on the side of his shoulder as she placed a supportive hand on his arm.

".... Pietro couldn't even outrun them, Kurt.”

"I know. I could've at least been there to rescue you, though."

"I'm... glad isn't the right word. I understand why they didn't bring you along. If you're anything like me you would've rushed in there with little preparation to get to me. I know, I did much the same when the FOH got you, but with these guys? That would've gotten you killed, or worse. It took so much just to get Pietro and me out, it- I don't- I'm not saying you're a liability, either, I-"

Kurt blinked for a moment, his gaze turning to her as he slowly wrapped his tail around her for support. She took a slow, deep breath as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"I don't want to think about what they would do to you. Between the powers Pietro and me have that they wanted to steal I really don't want to think about what they would do with your ability."

"... Fair. But I'm still somewhat mad I wasn't given the choice. That I was sidelined by Scott and Gambit when your life was on the line; when either of them would’ve moved heaven and earth for Jean or Shadow. I hate feeling like they’re making the rules apply to everyone but themself."

"That's also fair, fair to be upset about; and definitely something you should talk about with them. Even so… I'm... I'm so glad you were the first one I saw when I woke up, though. Seeing you... meant I was safe. Meant I was home." He pulled her into his lap, arms wrapping around her as his tail wrapped around her a little tighter as well. Feeling her in his embrace; it was so soothing and comforting as one of his hands slowly started to play with a strand of her deep red hair as she shivered a little, her own emotions about the situation barely held back.

"I'm glad you're home, safe," he whispered, the relief in his tone making her shiver more as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, "are you alright?"

"This isn’t about…  This really shouldn’t be about me right now. You- I can’t even imagine what this whole ordeal put you through. How scared and worried you must’ve been that I got hurt or just straight up wouldn’t come back.” “Miranda,” Kurt said softy, the tremble in his own voice betraying his emotions on the matter, “I was worried that you would think of me as a liar going back on his word; I promised you that I would come save you from danger no matter what.” "I would never think of you as a liar; please don't blame yourself for this," she muttered into his chest, before slowly pushing herself up so she could look at him and get enchanted by the deep pools of swirling yellows and ambers that made up his eyes, ”I can only hope your friends took that worry seriously, because so often it seems like you’re just being tossed to the sidelines for your own good instead of being offered the support you would give.”

Much like she felt was often done to her, for better or for worse; sidelined because the powerset wasn’t useful, sidelined because people worried about getting either of them hurt. And even if in this case she felt like their friends would’ve kept her back and not let her get involved with Sinister’s much more intense works had it been Kurt who gotten kidnapped. And maybe, just maybe, they were right for that. She silently cupped his face into her hands, stealing a soft kiss.

“They did, as much as they could,” Kurt said softly, placing one of his hands over hers as he held it to his cheek, “we both went through a lot here. I was worried, scared, almost going feral at the thought of losing you; I’m not going to say I wouldn’t have been a liability or not in danger of getting grabbed myself, I would’ve done anything with no caution behind it just to bring you back home. Yes, I’m upset I was made to just sit here and worry, but so were most of your friends- They hadn’t even intended to bring Roberto along because Sinister is no joke with what he has already pulled on Scott and Jean.”

He turned his head, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of her hand as her physical presence actually did do a lot to soothe his mind.

"The thought of you kept me going,” she admitted softly, “I'm sorry it took longer than I wanted it to, to get home. I wanted to come home. I w-wouldn't abandon you like that, ever, I love you so much-"

He hushed her softly, pressing his lips on hers in a gentle, reassuring kiss, "I know you wouldn't. That's why I was so worried in the first place; you need your personal space, sure, but you wouldn't vanish like this for a week without any notice to anyone. Miranda, I love you. You have no idea how relieved I was when they brought you home, when you woke up. I love you just as much."

With that he just pressed his lips back on hers in a deep, passionate kiss that she was all too eager to match. It was love they both needed, love offered in spades like a soothing balm to their combined frayed nerves that only just started to calm down. He pulled her in as close as he could, one of his hands on the back of her head and tangled into the thick tresses of her hair. They only broke apart to breathe, their eyes meeting in quiet understanding that both wanted more of each other's kisses and affection. So it came as no surprise when she pulled him back in to press their lips back together-

What did surprise him was that she pulled him back in with enough force that she landed back on the soft bed covers; with him on top. The same thing that had scared her so bad back at the masquerade ball. He gently broke their kiss, pushing himself up and away just a little to check her expression for any indication that it had been an accident she was trying to get away from; he figured the red blush blooming on her pale complexion could be interpreted in a couple of ways so it was probably best to ask.

"Are you okay?"

"I..." Miranda started, her deep green eyes flicking to the side as her blush immediately deepened, "Y-Yes. It's.. It's fine if you don't want to. With Sinister getting his hands on me, with what he has done before with Jean, I can't blame you if you think I'm a clone or something. But I swear to you; I didn't enter that machine, your own team can vouch for that. They didn't even want me at first, they wanted Pietro, I-"

Her eyes widened ever so slightly at the feeling of his hand slowly trailing down her side before she visibly relaxed, her own hand sneaking over to rest on top of his as he came to a halt right above her hip. Her eyes flicked back from their hands to Kurt, immediately caught in the swirling vortex of warm yellows that made up his eyes.

"Well, for what it’s worth, aside from Madelyne Pryor none of Sinister’s clones ever quite got the hang of talking truthfully about the memories of their hosts. So…. When did you fall in love with me?"

"… The first time we trained together; your gracefulness in the disarming fight made me so desperate to kiss you that I realised I wanted you as more than just a friend."

"Hm, really?" he purred softly, the question having been genuine if not just a little bit to satisfy his own curiosity on the matter, while he pressed a feather soft kiss to her lips. He looked back into her eyes; a thing that felt like a privilege to do with how skittish she usually was. The restlessness of her eyes had always been her true tell; because the windows to her soul never lied, they usually darted all over the place in an attempt to hide the truth.

But not now. A very light and supportive smile lingered on his lips as her invisibility temporarily flickered on and off until she willed it to stay off and allowed him to look again . As he looked back into her eyes, the deep emerald shades revealing her soul and feelings to him in a way he had never seen before, he could only conclude that she was telling the truth. That she was who she said she was, and that Sinister's henchmen hadn't planned to get to her before they got to Pietro. That they didn’t manage to get either of them. The way he looked into her like he was reading an open book painted her cheeks an even deeper color of red, and the heat seemed to set other parts of her pale skin ablaze as well; he could see it peeking slightly over the collar of her t-shirt.

"... Are you really sure about this?" he asked softly, lightly running his thumb over her shirt where his hand was still resting on her side

"... If you promise we can stop if either of us changes our mind, yes," she muttered, her throat dry in her nervous anticipation.

"Absolutely. in a moment's notice; I promise," he felt how she very slightly tightened her grip on his hand, her nerves as clear as day on her face. Her eyes flicked away and quickly back again as she worked up the bravery to ask for one more thing that her mind needed reassuring on.

"Kurt, darling?"

"Mh?"

".... Take it easy on me. be.. be gentle. Please."

"Of course, my love," and with that he softly kissed her to assure her he wasn't going to rush any of this, "we'll take our time, okay?"

It seemed to help as she let go of his hand, using her now free hand to tangle her fingers into his hair and pull him back in for a much deeper, passionate kiss, while his hand slowly but curiously trailed back up over her side.

-

It was either very early in the morning or very late at night; that fully depended on the perspective of who you asked. Either way, the dark sky outside was still littered with stars when Kurt's yellow, glowing eyes slowly blinked open. It was merely his own brain that woke from his slumber; slowly realizing where and with who he was.

… Her skin felt so incredibly soft and warm against his own.

He was mostly curled up on top of his lover, her heartbeat slow yet steady in his sharp ear; soothing in its calm and quiet beat. He pushed himself up just enough to press a kiss to her collarbone, then enough so he could manage to press a kiss to her forehead. The slight glow of his eyes illuminated her form for as far as he could see her, feeling the heat creep back onto his face as the soft glow made her look even more beautiful than she already was to him.

"I love you so much, Miranda," he whispered as softly as he possibly could, one of his hands slowly and gently trailing over the equally soft skin of her side until it came to rest at the top of her hip. He thought for a moment, before carefully rolling over to lay down on his side, gently taking her along with him so she was safely sheltered between the wall and him. Kurt pulled Miranda closer to him, gently tucking her head under his chin while adjusting his grip and pull on her until he felt sure her chest was hidden and concealed against his.

Not that anyone would barge into anyone's bedroom around the mansion unless there was some massive dire emergency but still, he simply couldn't shake the protective urge to hide her form as he pulled the bed covers back over the two of them. Even if there was some emergency that required immediate evacuation he was sure she would appreciate it if she wasn’t immediately exposed to the world.

At the same time it felt wonderful to know she trusted him to where she felt comfortable showing parts of herself that made her feel so vulnerable, literally and figuratively- to him it made the moments they shared earlier in the night all the more special. He wouldn't have wanted this to be with anyone but her, the mutual trust and deepened bond between them adding some kind of spark to the mix that he now felt had been the missing piece in previous relationships and why those had never gotten him to this level of intimacy with someone either.

"You're very special to me, I hope you know that," he whispered to her, taking another few moments to simply enjoy the peace of her company. His tail slowly draped itself over her waist protectively as he closed his eyes with a soft, but deeply happy sigh. When he felt her pull him closer to her in her sleep, a slight smile formed on his face before his mind decided that it hadn't had enough rest and made him drift back off to sleep, but not before vowing to himself that he would keep her safe from harm to the best of his ability. When she gently and slowly woke up hours later, her mind for a split second couldn't tell what was real or where she was. For just a moment she worried she was still in the jail cell where the lackeys of Sinister had held her- until the very familiar scent of woodsmoke filled her head and made her mind sigh with relief. Kurt. He was right there; pressed up against her, the weight of his arm around her as his tail lay calmly over her waist. The warmth and comfort he provided by being snuggled up against her like that underneath the soft covers of the bed... Miranda's mind, for what felt like the first time in a life time, was silent. There were no swirling thoughts trapped in the vortex of the depths of her mind, not a single thought interrupting the blissful peace she found herself in right now. Her heart, on the other hand, was so full of love. More than she ever thought possible she could feel for another person. And to just instinctively know that she could give her heart to him, knowing he would keep it and shelter it like he sheltered her in his embrace...  Heat tinted her cheeks red as she remembered the prior evening. She swore on God; that was an evening she never imagined she would experience in her life, ever. She pressed her face back into his shoulder, breathing in his scent as she pressed the palms of her hands into the soft fur beneath them.

Mere moments later, his alarm went off. His tail flicked itself away from her waist, emerging from the blankets just to shut it off before immediately finding its way back to drape along her waist again- she couldn't help but laugh a little at that.

"Good morning," she said softly, her voice full of the emotions that lingered in her chest, "don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Nein. Just forgot to turn the dang thing off," Kurt muttered, pulling her closer if he still possibly could, "told Scott I needed time off to make sure you're okay, and that I would let him know when I’m good to be back on call so to say, but.. yeah, I think he can deal without me a few days longer."

"Okay doesn't even begin to explain how I feel, waking up in your arms," Miranda answered, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder as a slight purr left him, "I love you. Could say it a thousand times over and still not get anywhere near telling you just how much I love you."

At that his stunning eyes blinked open, and Miranda allowed herself to get lost in their swirling pools of yellow and amber hues. They were as warm to her as the rest of him was, drawing her in every time with their cozy glow and the innate promise that she was safe; like the comfortable hearth of a campfire after being out in the cold for so long.

"I love you too, Miranda," Kurt said, just as drawn to the deep shades of emerald green that made up her eyes; the color of a forest that promised it would reveal all the secrets hidden within whenever he bothered to step in and explore, "more than I can begin to explain."

With that, they simply kissed each other, settling back in the bed and deciding to stay there until either of them decided breakfast was more important than the blissful embrace they found themselves in. Surely that wouldn't be for quite a while.

[pbandjesse]

I have thankfully not thrown up again today. I also did not go to the ER even though I considered it. My head hurt so bad and I couldn't take anything more then the baby aspirin I had already taken. James ended up bringing me an ice pack and I step with it under my head and against my face and I think it's the only reason I was able to fall asleep.

And thankfully I would wake up feeling a lot better. Still really tired, after really struggling to sleep (I spent a lot of time just walking around the house, even tried laying down in the guest room) but I wasn't in as much scary pain.

I did feel more swollen in the middle today. I am still able to get away with my belly button ring but I can for sure see my middle rounding out which is interesting.

I also really wanted to get IHOP. Which James would say yes to. I got up and took a shower. I washed my hair. I continue my every other day schedule and it's working well for me. My hair wouldn't be dry for a few hours. So I just put it up in a clip and we headed out.

It was a nice day but it was slightly chilly out this morning and it didn't registered for me until we were downtown and parked. So James let me wear their jacket which was very appreciated. Love them so much.

The IHOP downtown is super slow. They always have been. Despite there being maybe ten people in the whole place we were there for a really long time.

But we enjoyed each other's company. We had a quiet time. It was nice. The pancakes were a little dry. They were out of whipped cream and they didn't give me much strawberry syrup and then our waitress didn't come back for a really long time. James accidently poured coffee on their pancakes which was hilarious but they said they were still good. I wonder if it was kind of like a tiramisu.

Our waitress, while she wasn't super attentive, was nice. She was also pregnant and we commiserated about that. She's due in May and was already round and I said I was jealous. She said it's probably because it's my first, which I have heard before. Still jealous.

I was feeling tired. We had parked like 4 blocks away and half way back I was like. I am so tired. James cheered me in and we made it back to the car without me falling apart.

We got home and I went upstairs. I was feeling a little off but I didn't want to completely do nothing in the next two hours before I needed to leave for my class. So I worked on the next row of my floor mat. And so now there is only one left.

I would get in bed after that and laid with James for a long time. Just scrolling and chatting. I wasn't feeling to bad, just tired. But I was slightly queasy. Which made me a little nervous.

At 1215 I left. I held sweetp for a bit and James took our picture. And then I was off. I decided to stop at 7/11 for a juice and it helped my queasy feeling a lot. So I texted James to please add juice to the grocery list for tomorrow.

BAS was actually really good today. Mary Ellen and Naomi beat me to awah for the first time ever because I had stopped for that juice. They clowned on me a bit but we were all still ten minutes early so it didn't matter.

And we got set up and waited. But for some reason only two students came to the teen class? We decided it was because it was so nice out. It was really a beautiful day.

Student Naomi was there with her mom and I was excited to tell her about the pregnancy and told her how it's been going. Naomi was fun y when she came in she went "you're still pregnant?!" And I was like yes these things take a while. It was very funny.

Because it was so quiet for the first hour me and my assistant Naomi painted our own pumpkins. I was showing off a little with my pumpkin. I wouldn't have as much time with the background, which I would mainly work on during the adult class, but that's alright.

But thankfully we had a full house for the adult hour. I had pre drawn a bunch of pumpkins and I'm really glad I made that call because it really helped some of our more high support needs students. And it was really a lovely class. Everyone was really into painting and it was just a very nice class.

We ran up right to the end of the hour because we were all having a nice time. Andrew, one of my favorites in the class, came over to give me a very firm and exaggerated handshake, and we showed each other our paintings and it was just a really positive way to end the day.

We cleaned up and locked down the building and I headed home. James was waiting for me.

When I got home I changed my shoes because it had warmed up so much. I thought flip flops would be good because we were going to go for a walk in the park. But they caused wild blisters on the top of my feet. We decided we would go to Mathews for an early dinner and I was really hurting. I just needed a bandaid. I knew I would be fine once I had a bandaid.

We were to far from home though and so I was determined to make it to the restaurant. And I did but I was wearing my sandal basically sideways so it wouldn't touch my poor blistered foot top. Ouchie.

I did make it to the restaurant and the nice waitress would find me a bandaid and I would be much more comfortable. And dinner was grestm we having been to Mathews in weeks. And they had added new things to the menu! We will have to go back and try some of the new stuff. They also had one new waitress. Our normal waitress friend, Grace, was not there. I hope she is well.

Me and James talked about making time for ourselves when baby is here. And fears about losing ourselves. And helping each other and being supportive and supported. I am really glad we can talk frankly about this kind of thing now.

We both agree it's already a little hard to not lose ourselves because it's absolutely the only thing on our minds. Baby. Not feeling good. Preparing. It's very understandable now while it becomes people's entire personality. I don't want it to be my only thing. But I get it.

The walk home was not to bad. My other foot was starting to get another blister but it didn't break and we made it home. We took an interesting way back and got to see some nice houses and plants. And made our plan for when we got home.

When. We got back here I got changed. And went and laid outside with sweetp. James did the laundry and would install our new door security thing. They had finished putting up the wallpaper in the baby room this afternoon and it looks so nice. They would also hang up the new curtains in our bedroom but I didn't like the loops at the top. So I asked them to take them down so I could sew channels on them. And so I worked on that and am much happier with them. They are dark for sure but I think they are perfect for the winter.

We had a nice evening. Eventually I would take a bath. And then me and James would talk while they put away the clean clothes. And now we are just laying in bed. It has been a really nice day. I feel lucky that I got to spend so much time with James.

Tomorrow I hope to do studio work. And then I have my rhumatologist appointment in the afternoon. Hopefully I feel fine. I hope you all have a good day and are feeling fine. I love you all. Good night!!

[milf-n-dilf-dippin-dots]

IM GOING TO KILL IM GOING TO KILL IM GOING TO KILL

Last night my roommate and I got some drinks- i shared some soju w him and hit the hay after packing away some stuff n tidying/rinsing etc

I leave at 9am this morning, 3 bottles of soju on the table, 2 cans of sprite and some snacks on the table "oh its fine, he knows im out im sure he'll tidy and throw out some of the counter rubbish for me :>"

Come home at 4pm

The only thing thats been done is the 8 dishes that were in the sink (lil cups, 2 bowls from dinner and cooking utensil) not including the pan on the stove

Nothing thrown away!! Im going crazy!!!!!!!!!

Be so fr gang, am i like. Blowing it out of proportion? Or is the fact that im the primary cleaner of the house insane.

Important note is that i have no choice but to be the person who does mostah the cleaning- because he sleeps 12 hours a day, waking up around 2 or 3 pm and not going to bed until 5 or 6 am.

I went away for 2 nights n i come home and hes like "oh i could finally get stuff done because im only productive at 4am"

Which hey man sure dude you do you i dont care what you do in yer free time-

But my ass isnt gonna go 'yes! Sure! You can vacuum and wash dishes late at night/early am! Even though it keeps me awake because i cant close my door!'

But i also dont want to end up being this dudes damn mother the fucking manchild doesnt even know how to mop properly- or vacuum properly! And he doesnt vac the carpet! Or wipe down the oven/benches after using em! Like cmon man!!

"Oh but maybe he didnt get taught!"

Dawg i am his roommate, at what point is it my responsibility to teach a whole entire dude how to take care of his surroundings. I saw his room when he moved out- it was bad. This dude borders of raw negligence of his surroundings, and if it wouldnt cause me the harm i would stop cleaning up after him just so hed suffer. And he leaves the tap running to wash dishes.

I dont know what i expected tbh- his parents built 2 houses for their kids next to their 2 storey spiral staircase chandelier having house.

Im fighting for my fuckin life over here- 300 rent a week, 125 a fortnight for a couch, 50 a month for wifi, etc while this dudes like "yeah i paid all my rent a month in advance, and i get my money from dividense" it makes me want to break his trachea.

Like lets be fr i am blatantly not a pleasant person, moreso in high doses, and moreso when i have to deal w someone who fucks their own life even when theyve gotten dealt the perfect hand of cards to do well.

Like, yeah man im sorry you cheated on your girlfriend of multiple years for 5 whole months then got sad about it and became an insomniac but im not gonna suffer your shit schedule and not sleep well because you wont see a therapist or take meds. Like is that my problem? To be clear im not a cunt to his face, but i am a cunt. And i am annoyed at him. Maybe i should commune like a normal person, but that involves me sitting this dude down to tell him he needs to pay attention to things like 'responsibility' and 'reasonable expectations'.

He had guests over a while ago and i ended up cooking for them all!! And cleaning up after them!! And making breakfast the next morning!! He apparently makes 1800 a fortnight and he spends almost all of that. He owes me money!! Sometimes i pay for groceries n he just has to pay me back! Like dude???

[elisysd]

37. Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Masterlist - Previously -Next

Chapter soundtrack: Chasing Pavements - Adele

He had begged Christian with all he had to not say anything, to make him think he had misunderstood what Ethan had unintentionally revealed. He would have groveled at his feet if needed but he managed to persuade Christian to keep it to himself.

“I don’t like that, Ethan.”

“It won’t change anything, Christian! Unless something big happens, Kyle will be world champion and Ludwig P2. You won, so what does it change if Julia works or not with her dad? Actually, think of how it could benefit you! Now you know that whatever upgrades Ferrari is bringing, Julia worked on them. You can see by yourself how an amazing asset she will be to the team!”

“You’re a clever man, Ethan. Really clever. I like how you think. And you have a deal. Give me her phone number, I’ll give her a call tomorrow but in the meanwhile, I’ll have our team in the factory drafting her proposal.”

“Thank you Christian. For everything.”

“She hasn’t accepted, yet. I’ll try my best to have her but nothing is signed.”

“So you really want her?”

“I want to win. She is talented. I want to only work with the best so I’m going to do my best to have her and I won’t settle for a no.”

Julia was about to sleep when her phone rang. She expected to see Ethan’s name show up but was thrown aback when she saw an unknown number on the screen. She let it ring. She was a bit mad to not have been able to reach Ethan despite trying multiple times. She had sent him a text as soon as the race was over but barely got a thank you back. He had ended up, three hours after the end of the race, telling her that he was busy and would call her on his way to Brazil the next day. It was not helping Julia as she was supposed to meet with the woman in charge of decorating the vineyard for the wedding with her mom but she would try to fit the call in her hectic schedule. But when her phone rang a second time with the same number, she got curious and picked it up.

“Hello? Julia Leclerc here, who is it?”

“Julia, hello, Christian Horner here.”

“Chris… Christian? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I know that you are looking for a new job in F1 and I have an opening in the team, I was wondering if it is something that would interest you.”

She didn’t know what to say, it was probably the last thing she expected to hear.

“I… I mean, it’s very nice but I’m still contractually attached to Skoda…”

“2 millions.”

“Two what?” she couldn’t help but gasp. It was more than ten times what she was worth to Skoda.

“You would work in a direct relationship with our factory. Not only working on the development of the car but also on the conceptualisation of the next one. You would have a whole team under you. How does that sound.”

“I… I mean… why? I’m really flattered but… I don’t have experience….”

“Because Skoda never gave it to you but I know how to recognise talent and potential when I see it, and you miss Leclerc you are a diamond that needs to be polished.”

“I… I don't know what to say…”

“You would have your own car, we will take care of the accommodation, of course you would be needed on the tracks during race weekends. You would be closely working with Maserati as well. It’s going to be a lot of work, I won’t lie. A lot of hours but it’s also a professional challenge that I wouldn’t offer to anyone. You would be dedicating your life to the team.”

“I’m flattered to be considered, don’t get me wrong but… gosh it’s a lot. I don’t know if I’m up to the task.”

“I understand. I don’t need an answer straight away. I’ll give you the summer break but I’ll need to know by September.”

When she hung up, she let out a huge sigh that she was not aware she was holding back. Ferrari was her dream, her dad, the ultimate goal, all that she had ever done in her life was to end up at Ferrari. In her head it was out of the question to go anywhere else. She had always made decisions with her heart. Like her dad. Sure it cost her to miss some nice opportunities in the past but she had never regretted them, because she knew why and where they came from. But her own team, building her own car or at least participating in it? That was another dream of her, one she always thought she would achieve at Ferrari once she would have proven herself. But now Christian was offering everything she was dreaming of on a silver plate. But it wasn’t for Ferrari. That night she didn’t sleep very well.

It was the first thing she told her mom when she woke up the next day and if Lyanna was not already sitting, she would have fallen on the floor.

“Julia… That’s…”

“Unexpected? Incredible? Frightening? Exciting? Weird? Yeah, I know. I’m freaking out.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“But you are considering it, right?” Lyanna asked.

“I mean… I have to. It’s probably an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime. For someone like me, I mean.”

“You deserve it, Ju’. It’s just weird… Christian never does things out of kindness; he always has a hidden agenda. I don’t say that he doesn’t think you are the right choice and you wouldn’t be able to do it. But you barely have experience, you never proved what you could do with a car that he would be aware of…”

“That’s what I don’t understand. Why me?”

“Don’t you think Ethan could have pleaded your case?”

Julia would be lying if the thought didn’t cross her mind. After all, Ethan once promised to help her get out of her situation in Skoda back then but as he had never really talked about it with her, she thought he had moved on. But maybe she was wrong after all. She hoped he had not intervened. It was bad enough that she was thinking she would get in Ferrari because of her dad. If she were to accept the job in Lamborghini it would be because of her boyfriend. When would she finally have something that she deserves?

“I hope he didn’t…” she confessed.

“I hope so too.” her mom replied.

She would have liked to ask him if only she could get a hold of him. She really had, once again, the feeling he was ignoring her. No matter her texts or calls, they were left unanswered. And she knew he was not very busy, he was laughing in Ludwig's stories. She ended up giving up. She was tired of going after him and to answer him in seconds when he was calling her. It was about time he put on some work in their communications attempts.

It took days before he finally texted her, being unusually elusive when she told him she had something to announce. When she finally was able to reach out to him, it was only for him to tell her that he would probably need to cut short the call as he had a dinner to attend to with Chloe.

“I won’t be long then. I received a weird phone call a few days ago. You wouldn’t happen to know what it was about, right?”

“Why would I?” he replied, defensively.

“I don’t know? Maybe because he's Christian and that he offered me a job in Lamborghini. And not just any job. It’s big, Ethan.”

When she heard the long silence on the other side of the line, she knew he was already aware. She clenched her jaw and tried to contain a sigh.

“I’m going to ask you an answer and I want the truth. Did you or did you not ask Christian to offer me a position?”

“Julia…”

“It’s yes or no.”

“Yes, but…”

“How could you?” she said in a laconic voice. She was not mad at him, in a way she expected it and she didn’t know if it was something good or bad.

“I just wanted to help. I meant it when I said that you were talented and that you were wasting it away back then. I just talked to Christian, asked him to offer you something. I didn’t know it was going to be that type of position, I swear. It’s all you.”

“So you do know everything…Was it the reason why you avoided me lately?”

Another pause but if she closed her eyes it’s almost as if she could picture him trying to find a way out of the situation.

“Partly. I didn’t want to have to lie to you or I didn’t want you to get mad at me if I was telling you that I knew about the proposal. I needed time to think about the situation. And…”

“I’m not mad, Ethan. I just wish you would have told me. I wish you would talk to me more often… I feel you are distancing yourself from me and I don’t know why. What did I do?”

“It’s not you. It’s all me.” he tried to reassure her.

“That’s a very cliche line to use…”

“I heard you on the phone in Buenos Aires. Congratulations Martin. I was on my way to say congrats to your dad and I heard you…”he finally confessed.

“Ethan…. not again.”

“I know! Believe me, I know. It’s just… I can’t help it, okay? He makes you laugh, he makes you smile, he would be the perfect son-in-law. He is every moms’ dream. And me? I ignore you, I know I make you cry, I can be an ass when I want. I’m not perfect and I try to be the best for you because you deserve it, but… no matter how hard I try to change, the old me always comes back. I just want to make you happy but sometimes I wonder if you wouldn’t be happier without me.”

It was her turn now to be completely speechless. She had guessed that sometimes Ethan was doubting himself, that under that pile of arrogance there was an insecure guy that was trying to hide it by showing that he was better than everyone. But by now, she knew him better than that. She knew how hard it was for him to always get compared to his dad, she knew the pressure he was under. Pressured by the media, his team and most of all, himself. He wanted to be remembered for who he was not for who his dad was.

“You make me happy. But lately, I felt so alone in this relationship. I want to be there for you and I want us to talk about these things and find solutions together. But I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me and if you shut me out. I’m trying to work on myself to be more open to you, I know I’m not perfect either, but if I do something that hurts you, I need you to tell me.”

“I’m trying, Julia. I swear I do.”

But he didn’t tell her that he was not trying too hard because deep down, a part of him believed that this relationship wouldn’t work out, no matter how much they would try. And he was fighting this little voice every day. He loved her, why wasn’t it enough. He wanted the first part of the season to be over. He wanted to go home to her, to have her in his arms so he could control the situation. Not having her near was driving him crazy. He hoped that all his doubts and interrogations would be cleared once home. And he hoped that confessing to her would make their relationship stronger.

He ended up hanging up and Julia couldn’t help but have a bitter feeling about the conversation. She could see how the lack of communication was starting to be a major problem but despite how much she wanted it to work, she was starting to get tired of it. How could she feel so close to someone and at the same time so far away? She needed to see him, she needed to feel him. So, in a desperate attempt to try to find a solution she booked an impromptu flight to Canada. She wanted to surprise him and maybe they could have a real and deep talk about the situation.

Her eyes wandered on her desk to find Ethan’s flat keys. She played with them for a while, contemplating the idea of going there to work a little. She needed a little space to think. Think about Christian’s offer, think about her future at Ferrari, think about her relationship, think about herself for once. She packed a bag with a few things and told her mom she would be away for a few days. Seeing how her daughter was conflicted, Lyanna didn’t try to reason with her.

When she arrived, it was cold and dark. She started with opening the shutters and the window and unpacked the groceries she had picked up on the way. She rummaged a little through his cupboards to find them mostly empty. She knew he was barely there and didn’t see the point of making the flat feel homely. She went to his bedroom and went through his drawers. She didn’t know what she was searching for, even if she was searching for something. She just wanted to feel him, somehow. As if his place would give her an indication of what he wanted from her. She went to his bedside and opened the drawer to find a frame. Turning it she almost dropped it. It was a bigger picture and with a higher quality of the picture of her and Louis in the karting competition they had gone to, the very first time they went out with both families.

Looking at it she knew she had made the right decision to follow her heart and to give them a chance. Something beautiful between them was there, under the surface, if they managed to break it she knew deep down that it would become the greatest thing in her life. But they still had a long way to go.

She stayed at his place until the Sunday race, comfortably sitting on the sofa. But unfortunately the race went short for Ethan that had to DNF during the formation lap after his team detected a failure on his engine. Julia didn’t even watch the race, spending the two hours on the phone with him, trying to find the words to console him.

“I want the summer break to be there already. I’m tired, I’m sick of hearing what people are saying. I’m not dumb, I see the look on their faces. They don’t have to say anything, I know they are thinking about my dad. Do you know what I heard a journalist telling someone in the paddock? That Maserati was thinking of not renewing my contract. That’s bullshit but I’m tired of the false rumors and I’m tired of feeling alone. I want someone to have my back for once.”

“I have your back.” she said.

“No offense Julia, but I meant someone that matters.” hearing her silence he was quick to add, “Someone that matters in the sport, I meant. You matter but it’s different.”

“In every season there are ups and downs. You hit a down after a few races but I’m sure you’ll come back stronger after the break.”

“Only two races and then it’s your parents' wedding. I thought about something…”

“Dangerous.”

“Shut up. Kyle is taking Romy to the Maldives, it’s a surprise don’t say anything, that means I don’t have any other plans. Would you like to go somewhere? Anywhere, I don’t care as long as it’s with you.”

“Ethan Verstappen, is that an attempt at romanticism?” she joked.

“Haha. Very funny. What do you think?”

“I think it would do me some good. I think I need it, too.” she confessed.

“Did you think about Lamborghini’s proposal?”

“I did, yes. And I'm just as lost and confused. I don’t know what to do… This job is my dream, this is everything I worked so hard for, all my life. But it’s not for the team I want. It would be like betraying my dad if I was accepting.”

“I’m going to play the devil’s advocate here. Do you think your dad would give you such a position in the next three to five years if you were working there?”

Julia knew the answer. Her dad had always been a firm believer of ‘if you work and prove yourself hard enough, things will go your way’. She knew that she would eventually have the same kind of position in the team, but not as fast as what she could have if she was saying yes to Lamborghini.

“I’m not stupid, I know that I can’t dream of something better than what Christian is offering. I’m not naive.”

“I know your love for Ferrari and I respect it but… close your eyes and imagine that: you, building the fastest car of the grid and me in that car. We could be world champions, Julia. Together. I don’t think Ferrari has what it takes to fight for the title. Not next year and probably not the year after. So yeah, sure you get to work with your dad, but in Lamborghini you would work with the best of the best. You would fit so well. And you would be working on both Maserati and Lambo cars.”

“Sounds like a very good dream.”

“With a very nice paycheck as well.”

“You are messing with my head.”

“At the end of the day, I want you to be somewhere where you feel like your skills are valued. I want to see you thrive. If you think you’ll fit better at Ferrari, I’ll support you. But blue would be a very nice color on you.”

“So, you won’t get mad if I end up choosing my dad. “

“I won’t.”

“Even if it means I’ll get to work closely with Martin?”

“Don’t push it.”

“I’m serious though. If I end up choosing Ferrari, I need to know that you’ll still trust me and that you won’t throw a tantrum every time I’ll be near him. Because it will inevitably happen.”

“Do I hate the idea? Absolutely. Do I trust you with him? I do. But don’t ask me to trust him, I won’t.”

“I can survive knowing you trust me.”

The next week was spent in a blur for Julia. Her mom had to fly to Los Angeles for a few meetings, leaving her in charge of the house, her brother, working on what areas they could try to improve on with her dad and still making arrangements for the wedding. She had so much things going on that she didn’t have time to call Ethan. She was running on her third coffee of the morning after spending a night dreaming on what it would be like to move to England and work in the Lamborghini’s factory with the team, maybe even crossing paths with Kyle or Ludwig at the coffee machine. It had been a really sweet dream, when her dad rang her for their weekly meeting about the car.

They spent the hour talking about the data until Charles caught Julia daydreaming.

“Ju’, are you still with me?”

“Uh? Yeah… Sorry, I was elsewhere. I’m listening.”

Charles stopped sharing his screen and stared at her.

“Did your mom finish driving you crazy with the wedding?”

“Actually, it’s almost done. Most of the things are booked. The venue, the hotel, the orchestra and the catering. Now it’s just details but mom handles most of them. I’ll have the bridesmaids fitting the day after tomorrow.  I can’t wait.”

“So, if it’s not that, what’s wrong?”

Julia bit down on her pencil, trying to find the right way to tell her dad about the opportunity from Lamborghini.

“I… I’ve been approached by a team to work with them.”

“You wouldn’t tell me if you were not seriously considering it.” he said after a pause.

“It’s Lamborghini. And it’s a pretty big contract.”

“Of course it is… Christian when I’ll catch you…” Charles mumbled.

“I didn’t want to hide it from you and risk him saying anything to you and learning it that way.”

“I want you to work with me, Julia. That’s always all I’ve ever wanted. Not only because you are my daughter but because you have the mindset to work for Ferrari. You know the history, you know the challenges, you know the teamspirit. You fit there. I’ve always imagined you next to me on the pitwall.”

“You want me to be a race engineer?” she asked, surprised. She had never thought that it would be something that she could be qualified for.

“I wanted you to work in the engineering department first but always thought that you would be much more useful on that wall. The way you see the races and analyze them… you have what it takes. I wanted you to work on the next car and his upgrades as a junior engineer. For two or three years, just so you can still learn how the factory works and our process. I thought you could participate in the after races debriefs and the setups meetings. And then, when you would be comfortable with all of that, I would have asked you to move to the pitwall. As race engineers. I thought Martin could use your patience and calm, he is a little reckless sometimes. I was going to give you a contract by the end of october, so you could officially start straight away. I’m already negotiating with Skoda to buy back your contract with them. So, now you know. The question is, did Christian offer you better than that?”

It confused Julia even more than she already was. Her, being a race engineer in the future? That was totally different from what she had always imagined. It was a challenge, it would force her to come out of her shell, she would get the attention for sure. She could recognise her dad in this. How he always pushed her hard to go beyond her limits. Christian was offering her stability, something she knew she would thrive in. Her dad was offering her a challenge, something out of her comfort zone. And she didn’t know what to choose.

“Would you hate me, if I wasn’t choosing Ferrari?”

“Of course not. I would be disappointed, of course. But I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to make a decision based on how I would react, Ju’. I want you to think of you. Choose what will make you the happiest. Don’t worry about me.”

She nodded before changing the subject.

“Could you maybe arrange me a paddock pass for Montreal? I want to surprise Ethan… I miss him.”

“You don’t even have to ask. You know I always have one ready for you.”

It’s with a smile that she ended the call, her heart and her mind less heavy. She couldn’t wait to go to Canada even more after the Mexican GP results that had once again been an occasion to celebrate for Ferrari after a beautiful podium for Elijah. Ethan had a nice race managing a nice P6 that gave him a little smile after the last few ones that had taken a toll on him. And Julia couldn’t wait to go to Canada to surprise him. She hoped that they would finally be able to talk things through and to spend some quality time together. That’s all she wanted and all she needed.

Author's note: So Julia decided to go to Canada! How do you think it will go? Will Ethan be happy to see her or mad? And she has a pretty big dilemma ahead... What would you do if you were in her shoes? What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[whumpy-bi]

Owen with allergies, based on my own real life experience—

He’s been stabbed before. He’s spent days in the emergency room after getting his ass kicked. He’s been drugged and knocked out and all sorts of things over the years.

But god, nothing drives him crazy like being unable to sleep.

He’s awkwardly propped up on the arm of the couch, trying to get somewhat comfortable while keeping his head upright. He knows he’s not sick, but he also knows he can’t rest his head at all without his nose instantly clogging up on him. Time is blurring into an indecipherable mess, Owen’s whole schedule thrown out.

He brushes off Blair’s look of concern, inviting her to sit by him. “It’s allergies, it’ll go away. ‘S not contagious.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t make you any less miserable, baby.”

“You…got a point, there.”

He moans in frustration again, pinching his nose in futility. When he looks back down, he sees Bobby on the ground, pointing his backside towards him. A clear demand for pick me up, dad.

Owen chuckles, extending an arm and setting the chihuahua down on his chest. The dog eagerly curls up on him, grunting in satisfaction.

Owen was exhausted, and irritated with his nose at the moment. But…things were okay.

[aching-tummies]

Oil and Milkshake

Happy (belated) Easter ^^

Life's been pretty hectic for me in the last week or so and I haven't had time to write about it until now.

Anyway...I think stuff started around Tuesday, April 4? Things at work were getting hectic because some coworkers were demanding to trade/pawn shifts off (to me) last-minute because they decided then and there that they wanted to attend Easter events. So...schedule is thrown out of whack and I'm picking up hours here and there as well as being told that boss is cutting my regular hours because he doesn't expect the weekend to be busy (I ended up with net-gains due to picking up all the shifts everyone else was dropping, so not too salty about the cuts). Welp, I was already dealing with the beginnings of a stressy belly around that day. I was looking forward to getting my errands done and using my one day off to rest up at home. Relatives pulled a fast one on us again, telling us with about 6 hours notice that they were coming into town and expected to stay the weekend at our place etc. 6 hours notice. At least 4 of which I had initially planned to sleep my stress and exhaustion away. So...yeah...got up bright and early to start whipping the house and guest-areas into shape for their stay (the guest area is usually a storage/laundry-folding area for those of us that live here when there are no guests).

With the relatives staying over, our usual diet got thrown for a loop. These relatives insist on take-out and always end up getting copious amounts of breaded/fried foods. So...yeah...that's all that was on offer at the house and in our fridge for 3 days. Fried chicken, fried squid, reheated fried something-that-may-have-started-life-as-a-potato. Honestly...the only greens I saw all weekend were the lettuce leaves fast-food joints use in their TV advertising. Yeah...needless to say that my stressy-belly turned into an upset one really quickly over Easter. To top it all off, Easter chocolate was going on sale and anyone that knows me knows that I never miss an opportunity to score some cheap chocolate. So...all weekend my poor belly became a vat of fried, oily food, and chocolate.

Come Monday morning, the relatives were gone and so was the fried hell that had taken up residence in our fridge all weekend. At this point my belly was just a constant ball of upset and I knew I'd have to work with the churning orb going at it for a couple of days...so I decided to try and salvage what I could of a healthier diet. I ate instant oatmeal and have been doing my best to ensure every meal I take in has at least 2 kinds of vegetables in it.

Anyway...my days off are coming up, and because I intend to rest and relax during them, I decided to run my errands immediately after work. I had some things to print off (graphic organizers...some for work 'cuz I'm in charge of training new hires so I create graphic organizers/charts to help trainees quickly find information rather than having to look all over the place or ask someone every 3 seconds). So...I went to go get those printed off and decided that I would treat myself seeing as it's the end of my work-week.

I went to a nearby food-court and tried out a new-to-me place, got a donair wrap with some roasted potatos to go with it. There were onions, tomato, and actual leafy lettuce on it...three whole chunks of lettuce, which is more than my tummy has seen in a week. I walked around the mall for a little while, hoping to settle my stomach 'cuz it was still pretty upset from the weekend and I wasn't sure if the new-to-me food would play nice. The potatoes were actually extremely oily. There was a noticeable pool of orange-y oil left on the plate after I finished the potatoes. As if I needed any more oil in my poor tummy.

To *really* treat myself, I splurged and bought myself a milkshake from an ice-cream place.

I don't know if it's the oily potatoes or the milkshake, or the combination of both...but my stomach's been more upset in the last 2 hours than it has been all week.

I got through 1/5th of the milkshake while waiting for my bus to come home. After getting off the bus, I still had half a hill to climb before I'd arrive at home and my belly was so uncomfortable. It wasn't aching...but there was a sickly, sticky feeling in it. It felt like my throat and esophagus was squeezing tightly together, preventing something from coming up. I felt a constant urge to burp, but every time I tried, I got nothing, despite feeling a pressure in my throat and in my diaphragm. Halfway home, I tasted something sour at the back of my throat.

I got home and made a beeline for my room. I recently purchased a cheap stethoscope to indulge in my own stomach's noises. Unfortunately, it hasn't been very vocal since I bought the stethoscope. Anyway...I immediately set it up on my stomach, prodding it into various areas of my stomach.

There weren't any loud noises, even with the stethoscope, but I could hear a constant burbling...like something was perpetually foaming within my guts.

Even as I type this, I still feel that nagging pressure telling me something needs to come up and having nothing actually coming up when I try.

Honestly...if I had a partner into this kind of stuff, I actually think I would welcome them being rough with my belly--anything to make this nagging "gonna come up" feeling disappear. I don't puke easily and can count on my fingers the number of times I've ever actually thrown up...maybe some manual encouragement would help? ;) In either case, feel free to take this as an invite/jumping off point for RP-Asks/Starter/Lite.

[once-upon-a-pirate-ship]

totally dumb and completely ridiculous (or: words to describe falling in love)

read my newest fic on AO3 here!

or, below the cut

summary: Emma Swan doesn't do love. She doesn't do romance, she doesn't do dates--none of it. Even if there's a charming professor hanging around who's tempting her to break her own rules.

just under 2k words

rated t for language

you can read my other fics on AO3 here!

taglist friends: I'm sorry again, I'll get the list and I'll fix it, I swear.

Emma Swan didn’t do love.

She didn’t do relationships or even dates and especially not ones with flowers and pink dresses and reservations and walks after dinner in the breeze that lifted off the water. She wasn’t the sentimental type, she wasn’t the type to sit by the phone, waiting for a ring or a buzz with a message from some guy. 

Maybe this stemmed from her independent-to-a-fault personality, maybe it came from one too many dates gone bad—or maybe she just wasn’t cut out for that kind of thing.

Love.

The thought of it made her stomach spin. That was something she hated about butterflies, too—how could you tell if your gut was screaming at you to run if there were stupid bugs flying around clogging up the alarm?

She’d spent years clipping their wings so they couldn’t make her fly. She didn’t want to fly. Flying meant leaving the ground, it meant letting your feet do something other than stay firmly planted in reality and reason. Flying meant feeling. 

So, naturally, the second she met Belle’s colleague—he was a professor, for fuck’s sake—and those butterflies started planning out aerial formations, she brought out her metaphorical scissors. 

Three weeks later, she created The List. Sketched out on a back page in her notebook:

Reasons Why I’m Not Romantically Available

     1. My schedule is chaos. 

Finishing her degree online was good in theory, but that theory failed to take into account that she still had to work and make money and also somehow maybe find time to sleep in between all of that.

     2. Money.

She didn’t exactly have the disposable income to spend on fancy date outfits or meals out. Plus, grilled cheese was one of her main food groups, and that wasn’t suitable Date Food.

     3. I don’t even like the guy. 

He was too charming, absolutely not sincere, totally a player. No matter what Belle had said. 

     4. He definitely doesn’t like me, so it’s not even worth making a list over. 

He refused to even say her first name—not exactly a sign of affection, right?

She frowned at the list, the one she’d written out instead of taking notes for her upcoming quiz. Four was barely a list. 

She huffed, pushing the notebook away from her and letting the pen clatter over it, a small line of ink marring the last point from the way she’d thrown it. This was so dumb, and she knew it. It was nothing, really. There was…nothing. 

This must’ve been a sign that she’d been hanging around David and Mary Margaret too much. She was reading into things. Trying to find romance where there wasn’t any. Even though she didn’t, as a rule, do romance. 

She took a fortifying swig of her hot cocoa, dragging her notebook back and turning it to a clean sheet, determined to do the thing she was actually supposed to be doing. She was so close to finishing, and she wasn’t going to let some guy distract her from it. 

—

Her last final taunted her. Her homemade study guide was its accomplice, and every single time she tried to read, it made her brain flutter around without a care in the world and without consideration for her final grade. 

She couldn’t afford to make a mistake now. She was practically there, her fingers twitched with the thought of holding the tangible evidence of her success, a diploma in all its glory after so many years. She was so goddamn close. 

But she hadn’t been able to focus for like a whole month. And her chest ached from trying to latch a tether onto it—she was so sick of that unsettled feeling, that wandering, that dread mingling with sick curiosity—none of it made sense.

It didn’t make sense that her hands trembled against her keyboard, like she was terrified of the words she wouldn’t write. It didn’t make sense that her jaw kept itself locked into a place she’d never gone, tension snapping her into bits and pieces. 

Her frustration with herself bubbled up at inconvenient times, it mocked her for a poorly written sentence, it buried a knife in her gut when she missed a question on a practice quiz. She’d been pushing herself for years, doing her best and practicing to do better and she’d always been able to let some part of her believe that she could do this, but now, at the end, when it really mattered? 

She was three steps from the top of this goddamn mountain, and her shoes were untied. 

In this analogy, she was clumsier. 

She couldn’t track it. She couldn’t break it into bite-sized fragments of logic that she could comprehend. She’d just been feeling like this with everything, all the time, since—

Fuck.

There wasn’t a glow of a lightbulb over her head, but there was a fairly satisfying click in her brain when she finally figured it out. 

It wasn’t her fault. 

The relief she felt from that thought was powerful, but it wasn’t more powerful than the irritation at the person whose fault it was. 

She didn’t care that it wasn’t fair to blame him, she was just glad that she didn’t have to blame herself anymore. And maybe it was the easy way out of this emotional circle of hell, but she had to do what she had to do. 

She grabbed her keys. 

She must’ve looked ridiculous, plodding to her car in slippers and sweats and what was quite possibly the oldest t-shirt she owned, but once again, she didn’t care. 

She didn’t care that in the six times she’d seen him she’d cataloged enough information to know exactly what street to turn on—it should’ve pissed her off that she remembered that it was Tuesday and he had a class after six every Tuesday and then he went to his office and did the grading he refused to pass off to his TA, because my students are here for an education from me, Swan, and they don’t deserve feedback from some ponce who has yet to learn how to read a clock. 

It was ridiculous, it was all so ridiculous, and she muttered that under her breath all the way there, her fingers thudding uneasily against the wheel. 

Three dinners at her friends’ houses, two coffees with Belle that turned into two coffees with more than just Belle, and one birthday party for Ruby at their local bar—she’d ignored the hardly subtle comments from not one but three of her friends, she’d ignored the suggestive glances they’d given her, she’d ignored the nagging in her gut that wanted to tell her things about him.

She’d sat beside Belle, across from him, and she’d tried so hard not to listen to the voice telling her that he understood. Just because he met her gaze when she’d fallen silent after a particular comment from Mary Margaret about the concept of home didn’t mean that he knew what it was like to grow up without one. And at coffee that first time, just because he’d supplied Belle with the perfect conversation to distract from her unanswered question did not mean that he recognized her need to evade the subject until she was ready to deal with it. And just because he—

It was so fucking dumb. 

It was dumb that she felt her heart twist right there in her chest when she saw his name on the directory, telling her to go up the stairs and down the hall.

It was especially dumb that she hesitated at his door, because she’d come all this way, and she wasn’t a coward, and all she really knew was that she absolutely had to do well on this last final and—

Well, that wasn’t the only thing she knew.

He was wearing his glasses when he opened the door, his hair ruffled as if he’d had his hand through it one too many times while grading. His pen was still in his hand.

“Swan,” he greeted, happier to see her than he should’ve been. Or maybe he just should’ve seemed more confused. His brow furrowed when his eyes trailed down to her slippers. 

Irritation bubbled within her to hide the embarrassment. “We need to talk.”

His lips quirked into that half-smirk. “I find that when a woman says that—”

She rolled her eyes, pushing past him into his office.

“By all means, come in.”

And then she was just standing there in front of him, in that stupid t-shirt that she should’ve thrown out at least four years ago, and he was there, waiting expectantly. Because she’d come all this way to interrupt him.

“What can I do for you, love?”

Her hands itched at her sides; she tugged them into fists. “This is all your fault,” she snapped. It wasn’t exactly what she’d planned to say, but she’d said it.

Killian took half a step back, his eyebrows shooting up. “My fault?”

“Yes!” she cried. “I have things to do, Jones. Important things. Finals I need to finish—you are familiar with the concept, aren’t you?”

“Aye,” he replied, partially amused, partially concerned. 

“I have goals. A checklist. Things I’m gonna do—things I have to do. And I can’t afford to waste a whole night of studying all because I—” She snapped her mouth shut, her chest heaving slightly from the exertion of anger. 

“Because you…what?”

Her jaw went rigid. “You.”

“Me?”

She practically growled, “Yes, you.” She crossed to him, an accusing finger landing on his chest. “You. I can’t get you out of my fucking head and that’s so unacceptable. I have goals, Killian Jones. No one is going to stop me from achieving those goals, not even you.”

He blinked a few times, confusion and slight indignation dissolving into wonder as he stared at her. “You…?”

She grit her teeth, withdrawing from him to relocate closer to the door where she could think better. His proximity made the butterfly army into a butterfly armada. 

“Swan,” he murmured.

Her gaze fixed on her stupid slippers. “This is ridiculous,” she huffed. She hated this. She hated feeling things. She hated that she wanted to feel things. 

“Swan,” he repeated, closer this time, and her head snapped up, her gaze locking with his. The sea churned in his blue eyes, even behind the frames of his glasses, and she was so fucking adrift. An absolute goner. 

“You’ve been in my thoughts as well—though I have no desire to banish you from them,” he said, his voice warm and tender. “I quite enjoy your company, Swan, and when I’m not fortunate enough to have you around, thoughts and memories ease a bit of that…pain.”

“Pain?” she echoed, her eyes frantically searching his for evidence of a lie she knew she wouldn’t find.

“I miss you, Emma. I’m not entirely certain that I’m allowed the privilege of missing you, but I’m afraid I can’t help it at this point.”

She swallowed, trying to find her feet just to know she was grounded. “I…”

He took her silence as a reply, stepping back and away from her. And that was the moment she felt like her feet lost hold of the ground. 

“Wait, Killian—” She caught his arm, tugging him back or meeting him somewhere in the middle, she wasn’t quite sure which. 

“Emma?”

He glanced down to see his hand now entwined with hers, and her heart roared at the sight of the pink that tinged his cheeks. And she’d been wrong. It wasn’t quite flying. It was landing. It was coming home. 

At least, that was what it felt like when their lips met.