#My ship has sailed anyway lmao

[six-improbable-things]

I made another ship map...

This one is unnamed, but belongs to my temporary character for Rook's game, Captain Kyron Valris. It's a sloop, small and very fast. Which incidentally is exactly what the party is going to need... ;)

(I wasn't about to make a 4th deck just for the space under the quarterdeck, so I did this. The weird floating room off to the side is Val's captain's quarters.)

[kitausuret]

Sometimes I do wonder if, with my being a vastly powerful shipping machine, if I'm actually just subconsciously "pairing the spares" or maybe I just really, really enjoy shipping. I do think it's gotta be the latter, because it's rare that I ship characters together just to make another couple (or to not intrude on another relationship - which most of you who know me, know I would much sooner poly that shit up). Even if my only reasoning is "I think it would be funny" I still LIKE to explore it.. whether it works out or not.. whether it goes anywhere or fizzles out immediately...

I get really into character dynamics and how people interact with each other in general. I like to ponder the possibilities. I like to put characters in a shaker bottle and listen to the little metal ball mix 'em up. I guess sometimes that does end up like "you get a relationship! and you get a relationship! and YOU get a-" on and on but mostly it's just?? Fun?? It's just fun. I think it's fun.

[dashiellqvverty]

sometimes i wish i still cared about larry bc that was sooo much fun. but number one i don’t really care for them as individuals anymore anyway and number two after a few years i hit a point where i was like. wait what does proving to myself that they’re Actively Together accomplish? who is this for?

[ellcrys]

got a referral for a real estate agent, booked an appt with my bank to talk mortgages and i finally fucking booked a consultation for laser hair removal bc i'm tired of shaving i am tearing through my 2023 to do list and i feel good 😎

[cupcakeshakesnake]

HELLO UM-

Your little Harbour PotC AU gives me absolute life, just for the record. Even tho i am very very late, thank you for making it :D

There is a headcanon I got that wouldn't leave my brain after looking at your art, originating from that one conversation between Beckett and Jack where there were some implications about canon being everyone’s previous lives. Whether this is actually a part of your au or not, it got me thinking eheheh

Theoretically, (perhaps in an au of an au, if this headcanon contradicts your lore,) what if your au and canon were the same 'verse, just several hundred years later? And what if not everybody were on their second life?

We obviously have a sprinkling of supernatural stuff, so what if the secretly-a-goddess Calypso and immortally-cursed Davy Jones were the OGs that they were in the films? Like, Davy Jones maybe came back somehow (as per movie 5's end-credit scene lol) and took back the role of the Dutchman's Captian after Will went back to Shipwreck Cove. All is good.

He learned his lesson now and actually does his job of ferrying souls. As times changed, so did his ship, in some magical way. She's no longer a sailing ship, and he'll always miss that, but he doesn't mind all that much. His crew usually only stay for that 100 yr contract, so he's seen plenty of sailors come and go. Eventually, he even hires living mortals. Less people die at sea, so by the 20th century, Jones takes a mortal job as a fisherman (or whatever his job is in your au) as well.

Whether or not he knows about the whole reincarnation thing doesn't really matter; the day he employs a familiar man by the name of Bill Turner, he chalks it up to coincidence. Even if Bill has a son named William, well- it's been 200 years, perhaps it's just a really really big coincidence. Either way, it doesn't matter to him.

It's not until he's docked in a small, out-of-the-way harbour, and three troublemaking kids sneak onto the Dutchman that he finally realises. Bill's boy, on his own, is just a matter of coincidence. Those three, together? It's unmistakable. And as bothersome those three pirates were, so long ago, I'd like to think that he looks back on that age, on those people, with some kind of fondness.

(Until he discovers they can be the most INFURIATING little gremlins he's ever met in all his centuries. But he'll find that out later.)

Anyway I drew it :D Have my humble, scribbly offerings.

(I feel bad about running away with this, even as just a headcanon-of-an-au, please don't take this as a 'you should do this' lmao, it's just me adoring all of your content it makes my brain go brrr you are amazing thankyou!!!)

This is so lovely 😭😭😭

The idea of Calypso and Jones being the same ones from canon but just... having had a lot of time to chill down and have a second chance is so??? Imagine what Jones must be thinking looking at those kids... this is so bittersweet (but mostly sweet)

I'm sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to write a proper reply expressing just how much I love this but couldn't get around to it. Hope you don't mind me posting this publicly; I need everyone else to see this as well.

[emmitaaa4]

Getting exponentially tired of the “elriels want 👹” posts in the elain tags where they proceed to either A) outright invent stuff B) act holier than thou about how they care so much for Elain because they C) misconstrue the little they hear from our side in bad faith, or D) just completely miss the point they’re addressing.

it’s one thing to be bitter about a ship, but geez theyre getting mad at generalizations they made up about what we think. it has to be tiring. non?

small rant beneath, just to vent. yes i know i can (& should) block certain tags, but reading frustrating content is a hobby of sorts.

Im genuinely convinced all these “ewriel”-myths they keep talking about are a result of a bad game of telephone—they hear a random thing a gwynriel says, go “they’re all stupid/delusional/immature (insult of choice) so i don’t doubt what you’re saying”, then repeat it to others.

It’s obvious by the way they wholeheartedly believe that Elain is our puritanical-warrior-self-insert we use to vicariously F Azriel (😃✋). Doesn’t help that they usually don’t look as deeply into Elain as we do & tend to get stuck on obviously superficial statements about her: they cannot seem to fathom an Elain that isn’t just a once-bright socialite wilting away sans her sun-mate. So any hint of darkness/savviness we see in her is just us moulding her into Y/N. sigh

anyways.

I can say i’ve read their posts on here, a ton prior to being involved and some now. I’ve seen their tiktoks & video essays, their powerpoints & reddit posts. i’ve seen their comments all over insta/tiktok (kinda hard to miss, they jump on elriel content with their “um shadows and um pliable bones and mates!!” comments). I am WELL aware of what the general consensus is on that side—which is why I am generally unbothered by GA, don’t mind EL, and am just peacefully sailing aboard my ship waiting for it to reach destination.

And because I care about Elain’s journey, I try to see the story the way they do when i encounter certain elucien arguments. For if i am to even just privately engage in the sHip wArs, i know to remain ✨critical✨ and ✨open minded✨.

… there’s no point turning discussions into angry posts against imaginary adversaries.

EVERY elriel i’ve talked to would read an elucien book because it is Elain’s story we are most anticipating. It’s just very telling to me that very few would do the same; that there’s not a whiff of willingness from most of them to listen to the other side.

The funny thing is that all those anti eWrieL posts** i’ve read tend to address twisted versions of “the elriel narrative.” They take things out of context, or say we have the same 3 arguments—which is genuinely insane bc if you know our ship so well, how can you be off by like 2 orders of magnitude ??? (exaggerating if it wasn’t clear, we can’t know these days).

** Their pro GA content reads very anti-Az, used to be very anti-elain, and has a narrow scope ngl. While the bonus matters, it seems like that is ALL they’ve read. They don’t think much about Elain’s journey or powers or decisions, which is just logically not the best way to analyze the series given she IS what’s to come.

✨Just some common myths they believe✨:

they repeatedly claim that elriels want poor elain to be a kickass warrior torturer to fit Az because they A) don’t actually read our stuff B) enjoy thinking we hate elain, and C) can’t fanthom that spying isn’t 007 ninja activities.

apparently we ship elriel because we think they have this big great romance OFF PAGE 😭. how in the hell— i’ll make a post on this one istg it’s lowkey funny. quick, were nessian strangers and unfeeling towards each other at the start of SF ???? damnit i must’ve missed that.

En tout cas. End of rant the rest stays in the drafts lmao.

but istg one day i’ll cave in and unleash the essays of rebuttals and psychoanalyses of their arguments / thought processes just for shit and giggles.

[mako-neexu]

cinematography and music for the 2024 movie is 10/10 so delicious but plot is????????? i like the effort? i guess.... but dantes didnt resolve morrel bankruptcy i thought hed give a fortune to maximilien since it said m. morrel died, angele is an OC of the movie to replace bertuccio as the one who got benedetto/villefort's dad since hes a bonapartist so i guess they combined those roles into one for her. no backstory for how he met Jacopo. hes literally just There along the way. no Sinbad the sailor subplot. Caderousse was like. im glad hes included but minor role again but he raided/stole danglars' ships then fucking nothing after that lmfao. danglars bankruptcy method is different since luigi vampa doesnt exist but he still gets bankrupt so i guess thats okay??

ok my fucken beef is just haydee x albert and how that affected the ending... well, dantes never moved on from mercedes but he still sailed and said his wait and hope i guess... haydee x albert is so strange to my eyes still...i do understand what kind of character haydee is in the book i just never thought she would end up with albert tf bro youre supposed to go join the war and damn my girl is goddaughter-zoned i cant with this movie omfg

i do wish there was more scenes of abbe faria teaching dantes? he did but most of the montage just showed dantes suffering as usual and the both of them digging lmfao

BUT i do love the reveal of the treasure like. instead of chests its an entire place scattered with riches especially the logo of the spada family showing up at the ceiling i liked that lmao. still??? how come NOBODY noticed a giant ass stature with an obvious entrance its literally like at the back of the island lmfao. movie edmond has it easy bro pressed a button and theres a moving door meanwhile book dantes had to work his ass off to get past a boulder while sweating screaming and anxious as hell whether the treasure exists or not www

ALSO theres this part where they show off dantes' marksmanship and ok they included elaborate secret trapdoors. i would have LOVED for the movie's budget to have made the plot better tho h a h a h a

anyways, the movie is pretty to look at and maybe good(?) if you dont know the book's plot. otherwise some things dont add up if you know it and nitpick the details lol. i give it a 6.7/10 since i really liked the cinematography. and i read somewhere that the scar dantes has on his face is from crying so much. iloooooved that detail to death.

[komipacket]

knock knock knock hi im curious to know more about your au with charlie as a fish… is he like a triton? a merman? a siren? what kind of fish is he? how’d he and mariana meet? sorry im just silly about slimeriana sooooo :3

OH DAMN MY GUY you asked me the right thing! I can talk about this AU for HOURS! Anyways, the whole idea is that some characters are sea creatures some people. The main characters are Charlie and Mariana (OF COURSE lmao)

[sorry ill reuse some stuff from my other post]

Charlie is a moray eel merman, so hes a carnivore. Also (remembering one chuckle sandwich episode) he has a second smaller set of teeth. His tail is really long and massive and he has some fins on his body.

So now its time for the story!

Mariana was a simple fisher doing some different little jobs connected with the sea. Basically he and his best friend Roier were sailing around different places delivering things or selling fish. Everything they could to make money yk. One day something really unsual happens. Their net caught something big and heavy. At first he fears it's a shark, that would be bad. But then... Mariana realises its literally A MERMAN he looks at him in shock like what the hell. At the same time Charlie is SCARED looking at the fisherman like in "i guess ill die" way.

He had heard of mermaids and mermen, but he always considered them a myth. He had seen a megalodon, he had seen a kraken, but not them.

Mariana sighs. If he brought him to the port. He will become a rich man, a lucky man. But….something inside unpleasantly gnawed at his heart

The guy took out a knife

"Hoy es tu día de suerte, muchacho." (Today is your lucky day, guy.)

He went to the net and cut the ropes to let Charlie go. The creature's pupils narrowed as it looked at the knife, but then the words caught it off guard. Once the ropes were cut enough to get out, Charlie looked at Mariana in genuine surprise, and then with one movement he dived sharply into the water. He quickly disappeared from sight into the depths.

"¡Oye, qué estás cortando ahí! ¡Сomprarás una red nueva!" (Hey, what are you cutting there! You'll have to buy a new net!)

An old friend of Mariana's comes up from behind. Very annoying and completely useless. However, better than alone. Roier chuckled and looked at the net with confusion.

Mariana winced, turning around and looking at Roier

"si…si si! Se acaba de formar un nudo, ¡así que lo corté! ¿Ya has revisado las velas? Pensé que estaban rotos" (Yeah…yeah, that's right! There was just a knot here, so I cut it! Have you checked the sails yet? I thought they were damaged)

Royer picks his ear with his little finger and glances at the sails.

"No, servirá. ¡Veo una buena capturado!" The guy smiles, "¡Ya quiero ir pronto a la orilla! ¡Y a la barra! Espero que estés conmigo, ¿eh?"

(Nah, they're fine. I see there's a good catch today! I wanna to go to the shore as soon as possible! And to the bar! I hope you're with me, huh?)

Roier playfully pokes Mariana with his elbow and giggles mysteriously. It seems he already had plans on where to spend all the money.

The return to the shore turns out to be quite calm. Seagulls occasionally screamed over the ship and the scorching sun forced their eyes to close from the bright light. Only rare dull knocks under the ship raised some questions. Perhaps it was some garbage there…

Charlie swam on the heels of the ship. At first, he thought of hiding at the bottom and never returning close to the surface of the water again. But then the beautiful face of the fisherman flashed in his head and the merman, as if enchanted, swam closer to the surface to look at the man again. He let him go. It was so sweet of him. The last time he saw people, they either screamed in horror or tried to kill him. And this one… is different. Maybe this is a chance? Charlie really decided to watch his new acquaintance for a while… Just… Out of interest…

===

So that was their first meeting. After that Charlie swam after them and basically stalked Mariana for some time lmao. There's a lot of things happening in this AU. I made it up with my close friend Cherry and we really enjoy it. If you wanna learn more about this story just let me know!

So yeah sorry for my spanish i used translator hope it's not mierda yk

Must adress that later in the story there's one OC that becomes another daughter to Slime and Mariana (Yes we also have flippa too), but basically all the characters are from MC RP thingy there's qsmp mainly but somehow we have Schlatt as the villain pirate lmao anyways, it's pretty funny

[kiwiana-writes]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tag @hgejfmw-hgejhsf and @onthewaytosomewhere - it's always nice when I'm not kicking the week off lmao. I didn't get a lot of writing done this week because I was busy editing the Going Platinum podfic I posted today, but I've powered through so I have something to share!

Rockstar Alex is now officially fully epistolary, because I figured out how to get #3 from the five fun facts game into a fully epistolary format. If you are thinking to yourself, "Great! If it's fully epistolary then it can't hurt as much!" I would advise you to turn to your nearest Schitt's Creek fandom buddy who has read my fics in that fandom and ask them how they feel about chapter 5 of Meet me out at the end of my rope (aka angstapalooza), and calibrate accordingly 😈

SO. Below the cut is a little sneak peek of this with the skin on (and some bonus Reddit comments because when I go epistolary I go balls to the wall), but if you don't want to venture under the cut, enjoy the text version of an r/TIFU post:

TIFU by breaking my no-hookup rule Obligatory ‘this didn’t happen today’ but my friends are still making fun of me days later, so. I’m not a hookup/cruising kind of gay. Full respect to you if you are, it’s just never been my thing - I’m more of a serial monogamist type But it was my friend’s birthday last weekend and we all went out to a gay bar, and I ended up dancing with this guy who… honestly if I describe how off the charts hot he was you wouldn’t believe me anyway, so you’ll just have to trust me on this. He was there with a friend and the friend bought us a few rounds of vodka shots before fucking off somewhere, so me and this guy went back to dancing. And then the dancing was grinding, and then we were making out for a bit before he said he was gonna go to the bathroom with THAT head tilt. You know the one. Even my no-hookups ass knows the one. And yeah, I don’t do hookups, but fuck it. I said yes (I really cannot express how hot this guy was lol) and followed him to the bathroom. I won’t get into all the details but suffice to say getting blown by this dude was a religious experience. I’m just getting to the point of no return when he pulls back all of a sudden. And he’s got tears in his eyes, but I just thought it was from like… well, you know… but then he STOOD UP. I was like “what the fuck dude” and he just started APOLOGIZING, saying something about the song????? I hadn’t been paying attention tbh, I was a bit busy having my brains sucked out through my dick, but this guy just muttered something about the song and his ex and then he LEFT ME in the fucking club bathroom, dick bobbing in the wind. I think I’m back to no hookups from now on tbh. TL;DR: first ever hookup ended with a stranger literally sobbing his way off my dick, and ACD’s new song is a banger, but I’ll probably never be able to hear it without thinking of the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tagging @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @blairwaldcrf @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @matherines @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

[kaiju-krew]

Gotta say, the Space-Godzilla/Battra ship was not something I knew I needed till you dropped in on my dash. I’m all in. Like; I will be helmsman, navigator, cook, and shipwright for this bitch.

I am wondering tho, what are their respective relations to Goji and Mothra in your au? Is Battra Mothra’s brother? Is Space-Goji Godzilla’s brother? Is it the other way around? (Like Battra is Goji’s brother and vice versa… probably not but that’d be funny lmao) or are none of them related at all and just of similar species?

SPACEBAT NATION RISE UP LETS GOOOOOO this ship will SAILLLLL im taking applications for the crew aka send me all ur ideas for them bcuz i need MORE

okok sOOOO. this is my personal au. it's a soupy amalgamation of monsterverse lore, toho lore, and a whole lot of bs i made up.

>goji & spacegoji (i call him kesshō bcuz sg feels too impersonal and he deserves a real name) are basically clone-half siblings (i have a lot of bs lore involving bio to explain this but it's a whole different thing i dont wanna flood this post with lol) >mosu & battra aren't related, but definitely have that Found Family dynamic (battra is a mutated divine moth, so the same species as mothra, but some funky hollow earth stuff made him mutate when his egg left stasis and began to develop again)

and for some Bonus Starter Propaganda: goji n kesshō are chill by the time battra emerges, so goji bothers him to hang out when mosu n battra have their Moth Therapy sessions. that's how kesshō first sees battra and has one of those gay ass tsundere dokidoki moments and is instantly smitten but pretends not to be, runs in the family bcuz goji did the exact same thing with mosu goji bullies him into shooting his shot and gets mosu on his team so they become the main cheerleaders for the ship sailing. spacebat in general has a much longer slowburn than mosugoji since battra is a lot more prone to lashing out than mosu is, so there's no Mediator Moth to quell the gojiran moodiness lol. but eventually it works out and they Become The Gay. they're not as disgustingly PDA as mosugoji but are definitely touchstarved asf so once they bridge that contact gap they're kinda glued at the hip :'')

anyways i have more cookin but that's enuf for now if anyone wants to brainstorm more ideas abt them hiT ME UP im starving for more

[justablah56]

*looking back at you with my big autism eyes* You should tell me about rwd. After your sleep. Eepy time, Aether

HIHIHIHIHIU OK YAY OK . ok . im all sleeped up and I'm going to be so insane at you ok . gonna put it under a read more though because . I'm about to be so insane .

SO ! rolling with difficulty , as you can probably tell from the title , is a dnd podcast . mechanics wise , it's on like . the complete opposite side of the spectrum from dndads lmao- they're still very story driven , but they're a lot more crunchy , very following the rules as written but like finding loopholes in them because for funsies . they do little 20 minute bonuses each time the crew levels up so you know exactly what each character is getting and all their new stuff , I actually really like those . the episodes are 3-5 hours long , but each season is only like 10 episodes . and it's not split up into each season is a campaign and it gets very confusing sometimes sbnxjsnxnd like the first campaign (the one I'm autism about) is the first 5 seasons , and they only just finished season 1 od their second campaign . anyways ! most of this stuff is why idk how many dndads listeners will be willing to listen to this but that's ok 👍

NOW !!! as for what its actually about !!! (at least campaign one I'm probably not gonna talk a lot about campaign two) it's about a crew of four silly guys on a space plane ship ! it uses the planescape dnd setting , basically like all the planes of existence in dnd canon exist on different planes that can be traveled between through portals or like the plane shift spell , or , in the cast of our beloved crew , you have a spell jammer , which is a ship that can cast plane shift and you can sail between planes and it's very cool . anyways , the crew consists of kyana - a human monk , finbar - a firbolg (giant kin fae thing) druid/ranger multi-class , VR-LA (pronounced veer-la) - a mechanite/warforged (robot) wizard , and Dani - a fire genasi artificer . the four of them basically live on their ship , the Per Aspera , which is owned by Dani's "Uncle" Otto , who sends them on little jobs and stuff and he's also kind of an asshole but I like him . they also take jobs from other people sometimes and then they forget to go back to Otto who gets pissed at them about it and it's silly . anyways . usually though , the seasons focus on an adventure relevant to one of the characters with other little jobs filling their spare time .

gonna very briefly talk about kyana and finbar just so you know those two before I go on a ridiculous rant about VR LA and Dani ok . so Finbar is just a middle aged firbolg (everyone else is like 20 except VR LA who's only been awake for a year ish) , hes a part of a chef's guild and makes it his responsibility to make sure these idiots don't get themselves killed either by y'know monsters , or just being stupid and forgetting to eat . and he's like 8 feet tall . he's a big guy . Kyana is just a little guy who ran away from her (evil) monk monastery and got found by the crew just . swimming . in the astral sea . which is the void between planes that spell jammers can sail on . insane . anyways . she has no idea what's going on because she's never been anywhere and she is precious and loves the world and loves these people who are nothing like how she was raised and isn't that wonderful ? I love her . and she's like 5'0 . shes literally a little guy <3

now I'm just gonna talk about VR LA bcs he's my little guy and I am spinning him around at record speeds inside my brain <3 his whole thing is basically that his previous crew on the per aspera got Got by a crew of space pirates , and he was the only one left . but then smthin happened and he lost all his memories and couldn't keep the ship like . flying . and eventually he shut down on that ship and was woken up by Dani , who had found the ship and made fixing it up her personal pet project bcs she's a little mechanic who saw a flying wreck and said I can fix her . and she did . and then she also saw the shut down robot on the ship and said I can fix him . and she did . this is how the ship belongs to Otto instead of VR LA , bcs he's like ohhhh Dani fixed it up and she's my employee and you don't even remember anything . anyways . Dani and VR LA are literally siblings to me . icy they're so important to me . the high int low wis siblings . that post I made a bit ago about how dndads doesn't have any characters who are like . little autistic brainiac smartasses . that's these two . both of them . and that is probably most of the reason why I'm so attached to them rn . like I need you to know that I did not recently listen to this podcast . I listened to this pretty soon after catching up on dndads two ish years ago and have just been like . passively into it this whole time . and now I'm like ok no I'm into this for real now . whoopsies . time to relisten and be autistic about this . and that's what ive been doing . anyways . back to the actual show <3

so Dani !!! she was found off the streets by Otto , who owns a little dnd fantasy mechanics shop , and he taught her how to be an artificer . shes incredibly smart , both like . street smarts . and literally anything mechanical . this comes with her being the biggest smartass known to man <3 she's very blunt but also very bad at expressing anything and is the least perceptive person ever (she has a passive perception of 9) she's a bitch and I love her so much <3 she's very snappy and abrasive and aggressive but also the ship is the single most important thing to her and it's not the ship without her crew and that is all she cares about <3 she doesn't give a shit about anything except for the ship she singlehandedly put back together and the people who live in it with her , and she would do anything for them . man . I love her icy .

now I'm gonna talk more about VR LA again bcs I'm not done with him <3 he's so abxnwjncjqnxjqmdn icy I love him . he just like me fr fr . he's also very smart , but he has . zero street smarts . ask him about anything and he probably knows something about it but ask him to talk to a person and he cannot . he does not know this . he continues trying to talk to people and like . persuade people and shit but he's so bad at it . icy he's so fucking bad at it . I love him so much . anyways , the other people on the per aspera are literally the only people he has and the only thing that could come close to them in terms of importance is his old crew , and yet he still picks Kyana and Finbar and Dani over them . man . icy this is a whole thing that I am very extremely ABJDJSNCHSBXHJA about . VR LA is a guy who has no memory of his old life but he knows it happened and he knows he used to have a crew of people he cared about but he can't even remember their names . (at the start) there aren't a lot of things that vr la actually cares about . he's very passive and like I'm staying with this ship because it's all I have even if it's not even legally mine anymore , and I'm staying with Dani because she's the only person I've ever really known . icy they're so siblings to me . ohuufhfggg . however !!! the one other thing he really *wants* is to know about his old life . he wants to know who was important to him before and he wants to know if they're okay even if he doesn't know them . it makes me ill . but he has his crew , and while those people might have been important to the old VR LA , Kyana and Finbar and Dani are important to *now* VR LA . so if it happens that along the way he can find out who he was , hed do anything to find them . but he has his people , and their safety and happiness is the single most important thing to him . if he will not lose a second crew . if hed have to hurt his current crew to find his first , then he's not going to find them . man . icy I could go on about this alone for hours . but I will not . anyways . silly little robot <3 I am so completely normal about him <3

also there's another silly robot named Maxim who you meet in s1 ep7 and I think him and VR LA should kiss . I'm not going to talk a ton about them beyond that but uhhh yeah . extremely repressed adhd sorcerer robot x extremely blunt autism wizard robot <3 Maxim hermit who is extremely emotionally intelligent but is very purposefully stomping out all the emotions because this is a purely professional relationship and we are here to professionally exchange mutually beneficial information and nothing else . VR LA adventurer who has never heard of romantic interest in his year of remembering being alive and just knows that he greatly enjoys Maxims company and he will tell him so despite having only just recently reconnected with him. and their compliments to each other are purely out of professional admiration . anyways .

and there you go ! and I didn't even really spoil anything past like the first few episodes <3 as you can see I am extremely normal about this podcast and it's characters <3 I went on for a lot longer than I thought I was going to but hey that's what happens when new hyperfixation <3

[prince-liest]

who else in the 666 universe is aware that vox and alastor r rubbing wires and uh other things? lol bcs angel and valentino r both aware so … 👀 (itd be a funny overlord meeting topic ngl)

I'm going to be totally honest, I think my answer to this is 100% colored by the fact that public exhibitionism and anything related to it is, like, very squarely on my list of squicks, so: I hadn't truly thought about it beyond the characters who are shown to know in 666 canon!

Like, obviously Vox is going to bitch about everything Alastor-related to the other Vees. By the point that he decides to start respecting Alastor's privacy on this subject, that ship has long sailed! (And he probably wouldn't be able to respect it wrt Velvette and Valentino anyways, lmao.) But the Vees don't seem to actually be particularly involved with the other Overlords if they don't have to be, and they also don't seem to be on good enough terms to share gossip about it.

Alastor, meanwhile, I imagine is not really inclined to outright talk about the particulars to anyone other than Angel Dust (who figured it out on his own), but also wouldn't go out of his way to outright hide anything. I feel like he might find it very entertaining to see people's reactions when they find out, but in a very roundabout "there is some sort of weird relationship happening" way, not a "they're hooking up" way, because unlike Vox's oversharing motormouth and his pornstar pimp boyfriend, he does not see explicit details as something that should be shared.

Rosie almost certainly knows, though, I'd imagine! And Mimzy will probably ferret it out very quickly once she stops being shirty about the fact that he asked her to step out of the hotel. Husk is probably squinting very suspiciously, because Alastor getting up to no good is always something he has to keep an eye out for.

[tubbytarchia]

I love to imagine how shocked and surprised the ranchers and Pearl would be when they both realize that the ranchers don’t fear Pearl and that Pearl isn’t ridiculing the ranchers for even a second

Like they’d be flabbergasted

“Wait your not scared of me??”

“Wait your not gonna make fun of us???”

Just imagine them standing together like that one Spider-Man point meme

Sorry this answer is about to go on a bit of a general ranchers/pearl thought spree but YEAH this, lmao. They have more in common than they'd think!! Alas fate was cruel and it feels like two ships that were so close to meeting but just barely missed each other in the night, sailing right past

Jimmy at least has Tango to not be alone in his ridicule but even with their heads put together they wouldn't have enough brain capacity to care about what others are saying about Pearl. And well, there WAS session 3 when Jimmy shooed Pearl away because of. powdered snow?????? And because she was holding a sculk sensor?? Honestly I don't think Jimmy even at that point cared much about her being labelled as crazy, or didn't perceive it as anything significant, because it never came up unless I'm mistaken? Not once did the ranchers mention that? Jimmy did still break my heart in that moment but I don't think he realized the gravity of what he was doing. I think he was leaning into that more jokingly than anything but also... maybe Scott's presence at that very moment influenced him (cough because flower husbands past cough)

Tango most certainly wouldn't care about what Scott was spreading about Pearl. Scott could come and tell it to his face and he'd be like "uhuh yup!" and then forget immediately because he's Tango (not because he's stupid, he just doesn't think about things he doesn't consider important in relation to him). And Jimmy I think might care more if he weren't in like a happy ranch marriage with Tango and stuff. They'd be aware but not know how deep others' perception of Pearl went, nor would they care unless Pearl wronged them in any significant way

Jimmy wasn't surprised by Pearl's kindness to them in getting the goat horns, probably mostly because he was racking his brain too hard over Minecraft mechanics and being too overjoyed when they did get said horns, but probably also because he expected it to be a one-off thing? But I'd like to think that when Pearl returned to apologize after making a fool of him by stealing Oreo (the horse) with Martyn, and Jimmy kept asking "Are you serious?" when Pearl offered to give the horse back for nothing in exchange this time, that that was when he was really taken aback. Pearl once again showed some form of kindness, even as she was being shunned by everyone (moreso now than in session 2) and as she started to lean into the label of "crazy" that she was given because what else was she to do, all alone? Even then she ran back to Jimmy to apologize and give the horse back. And Jimmy, sweet child, offers friendship at last. But then he got ahead of himself when Pearl asked for confirmation and he went "You know you'd be an even better friend if you gave my horn back too!" and Pearl had to admit she'd already given it to Martyn, after which they kind of just separated without saying much. Clearly Jimmy was disappointed but mm he didn't even proclaim that Pearl wasn't welcome anymore or anything... It was certainly implied through his silence but knowing Jimmy, he would have gotten defensive and made his stance clear, but he didn't, which was either because he didn't want to, because maybe he still wanted to entertain the idea of Pearl making it up to him, OR he was just that fucking sad. He just said "right" and left as Pearl laughed (also I refuse to believe there was malice there in her laugh. What else was she gonna do in response) Either way oh my god I hate it I'm so sad

Anyway so. Their interactions past session 2 were mostly unfortunate but to me it's just... SUCH CRUEL FATE because YOU'RE RIGHT ANON. I really think they could have made it work but because Pearl was in the position that she was in, she didn't consider the idea of ever allying with anyone seriously enough and when she would have, with the ranchers, she'd already felt like she missed her chance. I'd like to imagine her laugh then, when Jimmy left her at the gate of the ranch was that of realization that maybe this friendship really could have happened, but she messed it up. And I'd like to think the ranchers would have still ultimately welcomed her into an alliance, had Pearl not given up trying, because she probably thought that if the ranchers hadn't thought badly of her yet, they must have now. Because no one wanted her, why would the ranchers be an exception? I'm gonna stop my unrefined elongated rant before I completely lose myself um hi hello I'm sorry that I got emotional in response to an anon ask describing the spiderman meme LMAO I'm a bit ill

[akuma-tenshi]

!! VOLUME / GLITCH / FLASH WARNING !!

posted on youtube because tumblr absolutely destroyed the quality

happy birthday to the world's most beautiful man!! i made this edit earlier this month but decided to schedule it for his birthday instead, since it was happening soon anyway lmao. so here's an edit for my favourite frederick skin in story, characterisation, theme, and design!! phantom sail is genuinely such an incredible skin and i love how this turned out; with each edit i make i only get better >:-D

song is culpability and the panopticon by ghost and pals. 'twas promised in the tags for my emil edit and now i deliver <3

several paragraphs of super sappy shit + frederick appreciation under the cut

so back before frederick was released, my best friend @sunset-of-the-void and i had been talking about him. we didn't know much about him, but we liked what we did know: a beautiful, mentally ill musician with family trauma, auditory hallucinations, and perfectionism issues. void was a lot more fond of him than i was, but the more we talked about him, the more i liked him too. i found myself eager to learn more about this upcoming survivor.

so now here we are. a little over a year after his release, and with his inclusion in ashes of memory, his complete lack of new skins until coa7 and voyage of oceanus, and playing him initially just to fulfill one side of a ship (i'll get talking about emilerick in a sec), he's only grown more on me. i've made jokes that frederick is one of only two men who i as a lesbian am attracted to, but in all seriousness, i genuinely adore him as a character. he is truly very well-written and designed and in one short year, he's become a huge comfort for me. he's one of my favourite idv characters to write about, and i'm pretty sure i'm more than a little annoying about him to my idv friends (terribly sorry about that </3).

and yes, maybe part of that comes from void coming up with the brilliant, beautiful ship that is emilerick. making content for what's quickly turned into one of my biggest comfort ships has given me a chance to look even deeper into his character outside of stressful situations. frederick is a fascinating and complex character, and i have greatly enjoyed writing him interacting with emil, who, in my opinion, is just as fascinating and complex as he is. as long as frederick has existed, we have had emilerick, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

on his own, too, frederick is a wonderful character, and i love him dearly. from surface-level traits such as his posh appearance and the music that disrupts the game itself, to what aom introduced with his relation to mary and his proficiency with firearms, to even the smallest details like his chimerism and the family crest on his a-tier accessory, frederick is incredibly well-thought-out and it's clear that a lot of love has gone into his character. as both a fan of the game and a writer, i adore him.

the consistent themes between his skins certainly help, too. i hope they keep it up while also finding new ways to make him fucked up and evil, it's delightful.

i love you, frederick. never stop being your concerning, weird, obsessive self.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

The Catpeople Laboratory AU (full v3 cast, saiouma)

First shared in The Saiouma Pit discord server, parts said by others start with their names

Hina: So who started this project?

Dra: I wanna make a haha funny and say Tsumugi but

returntozero: No way Togami Corp was interested in monopolizing the Catboy/girl/Nyan trade

ofc they're experimenting on prisoners first [replying to Ryoma being suggested as the first person the experiment is tried on]

idk, maybe that's too dark for a silly idea, but like, Togami corp fucking with genetics? that's not going to be very moral anyway

so yeah, exploiting prison labor

what if Kokichi was in the batch of the first testing with Ryoma? Like, he was a notorious thief, pissed off some people he shouldn't and cops framed him for murder to give him the sentence those people wanted him to get and that's how he ended up in the same situation

because the project only takes people off death-row at the time, in later testing, when those seem to be successful they'll be maybe hiring people for more testing and there has to be a control group that lives alongside them in the same conditions without getting modified, right?

for comparison, seeing what's because of the environment and what's because of the modifications, Shuichi could be in that group

unless you want them all to get modified, then I guess the control group can be strangers that don't interact with them, it's fun if it's all 16 of them, but also catboy x human…

Dra: How do they all get involved lmao

some of them are criminals (first phase), some of them are there for the money and some for the experiment's sake (second phase)

Iruma signed herself and Akamatsu up, because she wants to fund some project of her own

Korekiyo is probably in the criminal group

Angie could be any of those

Himiko wants to be a catgirl, Tenko wants to be catgirls with Himiko (that ship doesn't sail in my world, but canonically, the one-sided thing has to be there at least for a bit at the start, eventually tho, Tenko needs to meet someone who will be able to match her energy AND tell her she's got to be more normal, my choice for that is either Maki or Kaede. I do not think Himiko has interest in romance, but that's my hc, no hate, just how I see things)

Kiibo wanted to be included, they let him wear cat ears and hang out with the participants of the experiment

Kaito is in the group that just wants money (he needs it for that astronaut education)

Tsumugi is there for the experiment's sake, she believes it'll make the world a better place, actually, she's the one that convinced Gonta to join, he wants to help too

Maki must have been in the criminal group too, cause no way in hell she would choose it

Kirumi must have some ulterior motives, maybe she had to disappear because the rumor of teenage Prime Minister got a bit too loud, maybe she fucked up somehow, somewhere, but a new & low-profile identity will do her good or maybe she's here because the government is invested in the project, but why would it be?

Rantaro actually personally knows Togami, since they're both rich boys, but since Togamis have flexible moral spines they have access to some resources he wouldn't even know of. So, having something of a frenemy-like relationship, Amami asks him for help searching for his sisters and he's like "okay, but do this very stupid thing to entertain me in exchange"

lastly, Shuichi is there, because he can't let a mystery go and he has a fucking gut feeling that Kokichi was framed. unjust sentence? not on his watch (so yeah, he tries to get close to Kokichi to learn his side of the story. and they're cats)

Dra: What do you think they'd need cat people for?

High demand = good business. The end product is selling the modifier to the people, so the masses can become catpeople Or selling the cats as exotic pets/ worse if you want it to be darker

[corvuserpens]

A Girl, An Ocean {A Black Sails Fanfic} - Ch. 3

Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: Displays of misogyny, gendered slurs Category: Action adventure with romance Characters: Billy Bones, Hal Gates, De Groot, Jean DuBois, OC, NPCs (I don't know how else to name any extra OCs I come up with for plot purposes lmao) Relationships: Billy Bones/OC, Hal Gates/OC (paternal) Additional tags: Original character-centric, first person POV, canon character x original character romance, self-discovery journey, kinda alternative prequel to canon, canon compliant, slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers, tooth-rotting sweetness, cute but also sexy, angst galore, found family, Hal Gates has two children now, canon typical violence Series: Part One of Six of A Girl, An Ocean Chapters: 3/13 Summary: Constance begins her sailing lessons and endures the usual newcomer hazing. It starts out pretty well - until she meets the master rigger, known for being a major asshole. Not all is bad, however, as her friendship with Jean grows. Author's note: I had to conduct so much research for this chapter and the next. Anyway, I could probably start doing sailing as a hobby, now! There won't be much romance until chapter 6 probably bc I'll be establishing a few key relationships for later. I did mention this was slow burn, didn't I? Dedicated to @galfrmraq for the nice comments and tags <3

Chapter iii.

My dreams were a blur of contextless images of figures rushing past me, of the flashing of swords and pistols blazing, of rotten toothed grins laughing at me which then transformed into jagged jaws similar to those I'd seen displayed in naval museums. Several times I woke up in the high hours of the night, drenched in sweat, heart pounding, knife always at the ready. To my relief, not once did I find someone hovering over me. All was quiet, apart from a few snores and the ship's natural noises.

One time, I was startled into consciousness by the sound of footsteps all around me, but it was only the exchange of watches. In the gloom, I was able to make out Billy's giant silhouette, perpetually hunched over as he traded a couple of whispered words with another sailor. I rubbed the stinging crust from my eyes, turned away and forced myself back to sleep for the hundredth time. Vaguely, I heard someone occupying the hammock right next to mine, who I assumed was Jean duBois.

Again I blacked out, but the dreams did not relent. The final time I jumped out of them was because someone was poking at my shoulder. Panic immediately seized me, shocking me into a sitting position with a sharp gasp, knife surging up in the dark, but it was just Jean, who nearly fell off his hammock with a curse. "Putain de merde! Easy, it's just me." I quickly let my hand drop, fighting to slow down my ragged breath. "Oh, sorry... I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?"

He chuckled. "No, you didn't. Almost took my eye out, but not quite. The sun is coming up. Mr. Gates told me to rouse you and send you up, remember?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, more tired than when I had first gone to sleep. "God, already?" Jean smiled apologetically. "I take it you didn't rest much?" "Practically nothing. I kept having these nightmares..." I shut my mouth before I could say anything further. Who knew who else might be listening. Don't let your guard down. I couldn't afford to look weak, even for a second. They would be expecting it, and I had to avoid confirming those expectations at all costs. I threw my legs out of my hammock. "Thank you for waking me."

"Don't mention it." Jean stayed up while I put my shoes on and wrapped my blanket around me, to fight off the early morning cold. A better knife and a coat, those were the first two things I was getting when we made it to shore. I stood up to my feet, more or less ready to face the day. Before tucking himself back into his bedding, Jean offered me an encouraging grin and said: "Good luck out there." I returned his smile, though mine was significantly less bright, and dragged my feet to the mess hall.

Only two crew members were there, taking their breakfast before heading out or turning in. One was about my age, with light brown curls and the air of a puppy dog trying to appear like a Doberman. The other was older, dressed in dark clothes, gray hair falling in thick wisps around his face and a grizzly beard to match. I tried to be quiet in my approach, hoping my presence would be overlooked, but upon my arrival their conversation ceased so they could both stare at me. The younger man narrowed his round eyes in irritation, making me guess he was in Randall's team of disapproval over my presence. The older gentleman, on the other hand, observed me with nothing more than curiosity. He had strikingly blue eyes that revealed a great deal of intelligence. With a little luck, in time, I could turn him into a friend rather than a rival.

Even so, I staggered and hesitated under their scrutiny. An uncomfortable lump grew in my throat, which I tried to force down with a short cough before muttering: “Good morning.”

Only the sharp-eyed man replied to my greeting, and even offered a half smile. “Morning, Miss.” He had an accent from the Highlands and pointed to the galley stove. “There's bread and milk, if you want. Help yourself. Don't worry about the cat, she doesn't scratch.”

Encouraged by his amicable manners, I nodded a “thank you” and moved on. On the counter, just as the man said, a white cat with gray patches guarded a plate of fresh bread. Tentatively, I approached, ignoring the thick silence that had fallen in the mess hall. As I poured milk into a mug and broke off a piece of bread, I couldn't help to hear the sound of a hand smacking on clothes and whom I assumed was the younger sailor hiss: “The fuck's your problem? What're you being nice to her for?”

“Shut it, Turk,” replied the older man. “Leave the lass alone and mind your own business.”

The other, Turk, grumbled a curse and returned to his breakfast. Slowly, conversation resumed, and the tension alleviated, somewhat. The half-asleep cat purred when she saw me and didn't move when I tried to smooth a hand down her silky fur. In fact, she purred louder. I smiled a little more and found myself a seat, away from the other two men to give them and myself some privacy.

After ingesting half a piece of bread and washing it down with milk, I tucked the blanket a little tighter around my shoulders, found a water basin to at least wash my face and moved out onto the main deck.

A gust of chilly wind greeted me at once by blowing my hair about. It was still quite dark, the sky a threatening shade of steel while a light drizzle fell. At this hour, the smell of the sea was strongest, so I took as much of it into my lungs and let it calm me down before making my way to the helm. Mr. De Groot was already waiting for me, looking like a true seaman in a worn raincoat. He spared me a glance from beneath his furrowed brow, eyes shinning as black pearls in the lantern light. He adjusted the helm a touch to starboard.

"Good morning, Mr. De Groot," I greeted him.

"Good morning, Miss. Rested well?"

"As well as I could." I went to stand by his side. "And yourself?"

De Groot grimaced when the wispy drizzle evolved to true rain, drenching us both. "I've been up since first watch. When we are done here, I will retire. So, then. What do you know about sailing?"

I ducked my head and covered it with the blanket, fingers gripping the wool tight in preparation for whatever reaction my answer would warrant. "Not much. I know more about ships than sailing them."

"Tell me. So I can have an idea on what to teach you."

I swallowed hard and ignored the way my stomach lurched. "That's the larboard or port side--" I pointed a finger to the left. "And that's the starboard side. The front of the ship is called the fore, or bow, and the back is the aft or stern. Behind us is the high castle and ahead is the forecastle."

Mr. De Groot nodded along, confirming I was correct. "And the masts?"

The more I spoke, the more the nerves began to melt away and a kind of child-like giddiness replaced it. It reminded me of simpler times when my Grandfather was alive and would smile proudly as I, a child of seven, recited everything he had ever taught me about ships. I pointed from stern to bow. "That's the mizzen mast, followed by the main mast and finally the foremast."

"Sails?"

Here, my knowledge wavered, as I always had them confused. I bit my lip and answered, rather jittery: "Main sails, top sails and top-gallants." I pronounced the words in full because I had only ever read them, never heard them.

"T'gallants," Mr. De Groot corrected. "Among sailors, it's pronounced t'gallants."

My face sizzled hot against the cold rain that dripped down them. "Oh. Sorry."

"No need to apologize. It means you read a lot, that's all. Additionally, you have the jibs at the bow, tied to the bowsprit, the stay sails between masts and the driver sail at the stern." A pause. "How did a young woman get to learn so much about ships? It's not the standard for female education."

"I used to sneak into my Father's study to read his naval books when no one was looking. When he caught me, he started locking up the door whenever he didn't use the study, so I would go to the public library and read everything I could get my hands on.” I smirked to myself. “Sometimes, I brought them home and hid them inside the more conventional books and newspapers deemed appropriate for a lady."

That put a half smile on his sour face, though it was no less joyous for it. "You've always been interested in watercraft, then?"

"Always. Our home had an accurate model replica of the Golden Hind on display in our parlor. One of my earliest memories are of my Grandfather telling stories about great naval battles and famous privateers to my cousins and I in that parlor. I used to stare at it while listening, imagining it full size on the water."

Mr. De Groot hummed and said: "You remind me of my daughter," in this strange faraway tone. Then he seemed to catch himself and changed the subject. "What about navigation? What do you know about it?"

I saved that comment for another time and concentrated. "Well, I know sailors use the sun and the stars to know which way to go. Apart from that... nothing."

"Alright." He steered the helm to the larboard side. "First of all, you're right that the position of the sun can guide us in the direction we wish to go. But what happens when there's no sun, like this morning?"

The rain was beginning to soak into my clothes, making it difficult to think. "You use a compass?"

"Among other tools. Maps, astrolabes, lead lines, octants and sextants all aid us in determining our current position and direction. Most sailors never learn the practice because they don't need it, they just have to know how to steer the ship in whatever direction they're told to go. That responsibility commonly falls to the captain, high ranking officers and the helmsman. If you want, I will teach you."

"I do, yes!" I smiled despite the rain and the cold. This was everything I had ever wished for: to learn the trade of a sailor from someone willing to mentor me, regardless of whether I was woman or man. Everyone I had ever begged to teach me had either ridiculed or dismissed me, including my Father. It was not for a young lady to know such things, he would say. I hated my Father so much.

Mr. De Groot arched an eyebrow at me, amused by my enthuiasm. I supposed I was being a bit childish and naive about it, but... how else was one meant to react when all their dreams were coming true?

I spent the rest of the morning with the old coxswain as he taught me about how the wheel, rudder and capstans worked, how to pay attention to the winds and the currents to guide the ship safely through the waves in the correct direction. The rain let up after half an hour and the clouds began to disperse on a saphire sky. The smell of wet wood was mixed with the sea breeze as it slowly dried, so I set my dripping blanket on the highcastle railing to dry, too.

Despite the wrinkles and the constant downward arch of his mouth, Mr. De Groot was a polite, patient man. An hour into our lesson I felt completely at ease with him, asking questions that he would answer succinctly enough for me to understand and follow through in a linear logic. Not once did he show irritation or reluctance to teach me. In fact, it was my thought that he was enjoying himself as much as I was. I recalled that comment from earlier about being reminded of his daughter, which hadn't been meant for me but I'd heard all the same. What had happened to her, I wondered? Where was she, now? He must miss her a lot, surely. I wanted to ask, but... it wasn't my place. Not yet, at least.

At one bell, around eight thirty in the morning, he was relieved by a younger sailor with long black hair and a dark scruff over his face named Tanner.

"I'm getting too old for this," De Groot complained while he massaged his back. "Tomorrow, we continue. Later tonight I will bring you a compass and map from the captain's cabin and teach you to use them over dinner. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," I nodded. "Thank you, Mr. De Groot."

He waved off my gratitude and started down the stairs to retire. "Don't forget to bring your blanket back down when it's dry, or you will freeze to death over night. Oh, and Gates asked me to tell you to go see Billy when we were finished. He'll introduce you to Mr. Folsom and the other riggers."

"I will. Enjoy your rest, sir."

After he disappeared below decks, I went to find Billy. On the way, I took a moment to observe the ship in all her details, thinking how much I had yet to learn. If all went as well as it had with De Groot, I was sure I would learn in no time. I just needed to be patient and pay attention. No problem.

Billy was at the bow, on the starboard side, pulling on a line before tying it around a pin on the fife rail faster than my eyes could accompany. He looked up as I approached.

"Morning!" He grinned, eyes squinted against the sun. "How did it go with De Groot?"

"It wasn't terrible." I set my hands on my hips to study the complex pattern of ropes going up and down the masts. It was a daunting task, making sense of them. "He's going to teach me how to steer the ship and navigate the ocean, chart courses and such."

"Bold of you." While we spoke, he tugged on the lines one by one to make sure they were secure. "I've learned enough to at least understand what he and the captain are talking about when they're hunched over the maps, but honestly? When he starts getting really into it, I stop listening after a while. Don't get me wrong, I could steer us into port if ever we got lost, but only for short distances. I can't make long voyage calculations like he can."

"We all have our limitations, I guess. I intend to stretch mine to the breaking point and learn as much as I can."

"That's the spirit." Satisfied with the lines, he wiped his hands, black with tar, on his trousers. Next, he moved us into the shade of a sail so we didn't have to scrunch our faces quite so much. "Now, let me introduce you to the next module of your education."

He rolled back his tongue and whistled so loud I had to shove my fingers into my ears. "Folsom!" He roared to the yards. "Get down here, if you please!"

A figure, blurred against the morning sun, shuffled along the main sail yard foot rope and began the descent down the shrouds, fast as a cat. The man who jumped from them to join us on the deck was in his forties, with a gaunt face from which two bright greenish gray eyes evaluated us. He was only a few inches taller than me and lightly built, though his arms were lined with wiry muscle underneath his tanned skin.

"Constance, this is Mr. Folsom, our master rigger. He can tie just about any knot ever conceived and probably a few no one has ever thought of. Folsom, this is Constance. You're in charge of teaching her about the rigging, lines, tie-off points, et cetra."

Folsom's mouth hardened into a line as he looked me up and down. He let out an exasperated exhale and shot Billy a pointed look that I could only interpret as do I really have to?

So this wasn't going to be as fun as it was with the coxswain. Marvelous.

For his part, Billy wasn't moved by the other's petty stare. "We all have to do our part teaching the new recruits, you know that. You're the best rigger. Ergo, you're responsible for her." There was something about the way he emphasized that last word that made me feel confident that it wasn't teaching me the ropes that Folsom had a problem with; it was the fact I was a woman. I tried not to show how I felt, like there was a boulder in my stomach weighting me down. At least we were united in our disappointment: he would have to suffer my presence, and I would have to deal with his objections.

"Fine, then," the rigger grumbled. He kicked his head to one side as a signal to follow him and started walking.

I shot a discouraged look toward Billy, pout included. In his defense, he at least seemed sympathetic, judging by his sheepish expression. But, as Flint had warned me, there was nothing any of them could do to help me. Defending myself from aggressive or unwilling crew mates was part of the task of proving my worth, and God help me, I would do just that. Squaring my shoulders, head held high, I followed Folsom to the forecastle.

There, he produced two pieces of spare rope from a small crate and turned around to face me. "There are dozens of knots any self-respectful sailor knows how to tie, but when you're in a pinch and needing a quick way to attach something, there's only five you absolutely must know. Those are the stopper, the clove hitch, the butterfly, the zeppelin and the bowline. These are the knots you will learn. They're easy to tie, they will hold through anything when done properly, and they're easy to undo."

In quick succession, he tied all five knots right in front of me, and yet he did it at such speed and so smoothly, I had no hope of replicating them. I felt my eyebrows climb up my forehead before disciplining myself and returning my expression to neutral. If he had seen how impressed I was, however, he didn't show. Just as fast, Folsom undid the knots one by one and stretched out the line for me to see.

"Having easily breakable knots means a full line at all times without needing to replace it every time you use it. It's economic and effective. Let's start with the easiest one: the stopper. This knot is used to keep the line from slipping through a block or a joint or whatever. You can also use it as a climbing aid when you're using a rope to ascend."

He overlapped the ends, twisted the hoop and passed the bottom end through it, then gave it a tug. He offered me the second line. "You try it."

My hands were much slower, less sure than his, but I managed to tie the knot exactly the way he did. Indeed, it was quite easy. I smiled in triumph, with just a pinch of smugness.

Folsom scrunched up his nose in response. "You'd have to be pretty daft not to get that one right." He broke his knot, I mimicked him. Next, he went to stand by the fore mast.

"The clove hitch." He continued to explain while showing me the process. "You use it to tie off the ship to something in the absence of a cleat or a pin, usually a pole or a tree."

The rope was looped around the mast twice, then passed through the loops. "It may not look secure, but it is." To prove it, Folsom pulled on the line by bearing his whole weight into it; for a moment, I believed the end was going to come off, but then the knot tightened around the mast and held firm. "Still, if you want to make sure it stays, just give it an extra knot."

He untied it and stepped back to let me take my turn. I didn't get it right the first time and watched in horror as the rope slipped right out of the mast, falling at my feet. Very faintly, I heard Folsom snicker. He didn't offer to show me again. No matter. I would figure it out, even if it was the last thing I did. After another failed attempt, I paused to think, painfully aware that the rigger was scrutinizing my every move. How had he done it... I remembered he looped it once, then held up the rope... and passed the second loop under the first. That was it. Then the end goes through...

I sighed with relief when the knot held. Two down, three to go.

Folsom's sharp gray-green eyes slit with distaste. Neglecting to comment, he forged ahead to the next knot.

"The butterfly is a knot you make in the middle of a line." He wrapped the rope around his hand three times, tucked a finger beneath the loop at the base of his thumb and pulled all three over his knuckles. Again, he held out the line so I could see the perfect loop, similar to a noose, hanging from the middle pf the rope extent. "And it's adjustable." He held the knot in one hand and pulled on the shorter end with he other to make the loop close, tugging on it to open it again. "Go on, then."

I repeated the steps, wrapping the rope around my hand, putting my finger under the last line, and... hesitated. Had he pulled on the three loops just like that? Or had he hooked his fingers on them at the palm? I couldn't be sure. He had done it too fast, and I was certain it was on purpose. With deliberate slowness, making a show of it really, Folsom crossed his arms and tapped a finger, waiting. I could have asked him to repeat, or tell me how he'd done, but that would be an admission of defeat I was too proud to concede. Taking a risk, I pulled the three rings over my hand.

The knot held. I offered it to my mentor for inspection and waited, stomach tingling with nerves. He turned it over once, tugged on the shorter end, but the loop remained the same. Folsom smirked with malice.

"It's not adjustable," he pointed out. Worse: when he pulled on the longer end, the whole thing came apart. "And it's not secure."

Heat flushed my cheeks as I took the rope back. I had to bite on my lip to keep in the frustration. I tried again, fumbled it before even passing the rings over my knuckles. A third go, and I stumped again. The whole time, Folsom's glee grew. For the first time in my life, I felt a burning desire to reach for my knife and stick it into the riggers gut on purpose, unprovoked.

After the fifth attempt, Folsom took it upon himself to repeat the knot. That was when I finally understood my error: I was supposed to hold onto the rings as I pulled them over the knuckles, so they wouldn't escape from the knot.

"That's enough for now," he sneered. "We don't want that pretty head of yours to fry by thinking too hard. Repeat those three. Tomorrow, we'll go over the other two, then I'll teach you the cleat hitch and take you up to the yards. And let us pray to heaven you've learned quick, or else..." He shrugged dramatically. "A weak knot leads to bad accidents, s'all I'm saying."

Cackling, he hopped onto the shrouds again and climbed them with the same ease of a spider on her web, leaving me behind to practice my knots and worrying if he was serious. Certainly he wouldn't put me on the spot like that, right? Certainly, he wouldn't endanger his own mates by letting me tie a knot wrong out of spite... right?

I looked down at the rope in my hands and dropped on the floorboards cross-legged, letting that weight in my gut finally get to me. I had better learn to tie those knots flawlessly, and fast.

***

Up until lunch, I sat at the forecastle and repeated the same knots over and over again. For all my efforts, most of the time when I attempted the butterfly I got it wrong, which only increased my anger -- at Folsom for being a lousy prick of a teacher and at myself for not learning better. How many times did I have to repeat that stupid knot until I got it right??

When three bells struck and the crew was called for lunch servings, I gave up at last and followed the others below decks, tucking the rope in my pocket to practice later.

The file to eat was already enormous by the time I got there. I was ignored for the most part as I stepped up to wait my turn.

Then, out nowhere, I was shoved aside.

"Out of my way, novice!"

Because I wasn't expecting it, I ended up tripping on my oversized shoes and fell just as the ship careened upwards, so not only I splatted on the floor like a pancake, I also rolled down the deck until my head was spinning. The sole reason I stopped was because my back hit the hatch, sending sharp pain up my spine and causing me to yelp.

The galley exploded with laughter. Everyone had seen my ridiculous figure. Everyone. When my vision recovered to the point there wasn't a twin for every man, I saw one of them flailing his arms around with a mock expression of panic, no doubt mimicking me moments before my fall.

Shamed, angry and in pain, I struggled back up and searched the line for who had pushed me, but all I could see were grinning faces, drunk on laughter. It could have been any one of them. And even if I had seen who it was, then what? What could I do to remedy the situation? Each one of those sailors was twice my size, some of them a third or a fourth my weight. No way was I going to wrestle any of them for my spot. Resigned to absorb the humiliation, I went to rejoin the tail end of the line, head hung down and back throbbing.

It was a lonely lunch. Jean duBois was still sleeping off his watch. I couldn't sit with Gates, Flint and De Groot, as they were my superiors. Billy was sitting with his own clique. Even the other new recruits refused to join with me, like I had the plague or something. And the rest were still laughing at my accident.

Don't let down your guard. Right. This was what happened if I did. Lesson learned.

After my meal, I was sent down into storage to help organize the provisions and move things up as needed. Obviously, they tasked me with the heaviest things they could find, under the excuse that I had to "gain some muscle" to be a proper sailor. Not fifteen minutes after starting, I was once again drenched in sweat and my back, still mistreated from the fall, screamed for relief. I was tired, dirty and utterly miserable. And the rats hadn't gotten any less spooky looking after meeting them in daylight.

I thought about my bed back home and the warm hearth in the parlor, my bathtub filled with hot water and soap, and wanted to weep. To counter it, I forced myself to remember my reasons to leave it all behind. I remembered why my Father had sent me into the New World and the longing for home deflated a notch. I might be tired, dirty and miserable, surrounded by fat rats (the animal kind AND the human kind), but at least I would be wife to no one.

At long last, night fell and I all but dragged myself to the mess hall for dinner. This time when I got in line, I positioned my body in a way that allowed me to watch my back. I wouldn't get caught unawares again. If someone tried to dislodge me, they were getting an open palm slap to the face.

A pirate I hadn't met before, a bald man of about thirty with a goatee and tattoos on his neck, approached me. Out of instinct, I tensed up and prepared myself. He studied my closed fists and pondered on something, but when he met my stare, whatever he saw seemed enough to convince him to keep to his own. He turned to his mate, the man with the thick beard I'd seen Billy talk to the night before, and whispered something to him I couldn't make out. They snorted and looked at me so I would know I was the butt of whatever joke the bald man had shared with his friend, but they did nothing beyond that.

I was sitting by my lonesome once more when, as promised, Mr. De Groot came to see me with a roll of parchment and a compass in hand. He didn't ask me about the incident at lunch, either because he didn't know about it, which I doubted, or because he was doing me a favor by simply avoiding the whole issue. I was grateful for it, either way. With how despondent I felt, I feared I would burst into tears if he had asked about it. Instead, I focused on learning how to interpret a map and use a compass, which was much more useful.

An hour or so before lights out, I went looking for Jean. I hadn't seen him all day, as he had spent most of it sleeping and only got up to go back to work some time after lunch, when I was below in storage. I found him on the highcastle, taking a break to smoke from a pipe whilst staring out at the sea. The night was clear and beautiful, with millions of stars littering the vast black mantle of the sky. They were reflected on the calm waters, making it look as if we were sailing right through them.

"Bonsoir, Jean." I greeted in French. "Ça va?"

The young man turned and smiled with genuine warmth. "Ça va, mademoiselle. Et vous? Ça va bien?"

I wavered my hand in a "more or less" gesture. "Comme ci, comme ça. Je ne peux pas me plaindre. And please, call me Constance. We're equals here."

Jean laughed as he leaned back on the railing, pipe hanging from between his teeth. It smelled rich and sweet, quite abrasive but not unpleasant. "As you wish, Constance. Are you fluent in French?"

"I can carry a conversation, yes. So if you have any secrets you don't want anyone else to know about or ever need an accomplice, you can count on me."

"I'll keep that in mind." He puffed on the pipe and blew out the smoke, mindful to do so away from me. "How was your first day?"

I rested my elbows on the rails and sighed. The pain on my back had dulled, but remained a persistent throb. I could ignore it if I really tried, but it was there all the same. “It was... fine.”

“Oui. I know what you mean.”

A snort. “Was it this much fun for you, too?”

“Are you kidding? When I got on, I was punched in the nose within the first hour. Just because. Trust me, what happened at lunch today? You had it easy.”

Ah, so he had heard about it. News traveled fast on a ship. I stared out to sea, unable to respond at first. I wasn't accustomed to such rampant, illogical violence. But then again... I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, maybe I would do well to expect worse in the future. And I would either have to take it, or end it. Since for the time being I had no power to make it end, I had no choice but to take it and pray I wouldn't get too hurt.

That was a thought for later, however. I had made it through the first day and chose to take it as a sign that all would be well, soon.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Jean offering me his pipe with a kind smile. My eyes bulged. “Oh, I don't... I mean, I shouldn't. I was never permitted to smoke.”

He peered at me from beneath pale lashes with a deadpan expression. “Constance. You're on a pirate ship. You can do whatever you want, now. Enjoy it.” He pushed the pipe into my hands.

The wood was lacquered and smooth, with a brass rim from which puffs of smoke billowed. Curiosity gnawed at me. I never understood the appeal of smoking, given the pungent smell it produced, but... there must be a reason and I wanted to know what it was. I brought the pipe to my lips.

“Go easy,” he advised me. “It's quite strong. Gently pull it in for a second or two, then stop.”

I did as he instructed and slowly filled my lungs. He hadn't been jesting; it was strong. The taste all but possessed my mouth and throat, burning my chest to the point of tears. I held it in and tried not to cough, much as I wanted. To my surprise, not long afterwards my lungs stopped fighting what they were perceiving as poisonous fumes and settled, absorbing it into my body and replacing the acrid taste on my tongue for something sweeter. I blinked away the sting of the tears, straightened up and slowly breathed out through my mouth.

“No, no.” Jean laughed. “Through your nose. It's even better that way.”

The second time around didn't burn as much, and when I blew out through my nose – oh, it did feel better! The taste was more intense and I could smell it, too. I smiled at my new friend. “That wasn't too bad.”

“It's not, isn't it?” He accepted the pipe back, sucked in and puffed out a perfect ring. “Can you feel your muscles relaxing? Your mind slowing? There's nothing better after a hard day's work, except maybe a glass of good whiskey. When we get to Nassau, I'll take you to the tavern so you can try.”

“Sounds great.” Again, I leaned with my arms crossed on the railing and closed my eyes to better feel the night's breeze on my face.

“I will make you an addict on tobacco and booze!” He laughed. “Then, you'll be a proper pirate.”

I smirked to that idea. “You are certainly welcome to try.” The only thing that could make this end-of-the-day even better now would be a proper bath. I brought up a hand to scratch at my unwashed hair, hating the oily feel it was developing.

“Jean?”

“Hmm?”

“Is there... This is probably as stupid question, but... Is there a way one can wash on this ship?”

He slowly turned toward me, astonished. An uncomfortable silence stretched between us before he finally brought himself to answer. “Um... Well, you're not going to find a bathtub here, that's for sure.”

“No, right, neither would I expect to,” I stuttered. “I would settle for a basin of water and a wash cloth. That's all. It's just that I don't have the guts to ask Gates or Billy. I thought perhaps you... Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

The waves lapped against the hull below. I latched onto the sound, doing my best to ignore how embarrassed I felt. Of course there was no way to wash aboard a pirate ship. Pirates don't need to wash and neither did they want to. Washing was for girls. Which unfortunately, I was.

But then, Jean put out the pipe and stored it in his pocket. “Come with me.”

Intrigued, just a little hopeful, I followed him down from the highcastle and into the gun deck.

The crew were already setting up their hammocks and, like the night before, occupied what little time was left before lights out with games, drinking and conversation. Jean slithered his way around them in the direction of the pen, where we slept, and stopped. He looked around to make sure we were a safe distance away from the others. “Cover me.”

Quickly, I positioned myself in front of him to mask what he was doing, trying to act natural. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw him pull up a piece of loose plank to take out a small object wrapped in light green cloth. He reset the plank, got up and slipped the contraband into my hand.

“Now, you know there's a porcelain basin in the privy, don't you?” He whispered.

I nodded an affirmation as I hid the object in my pocket.

“Go there now and close the door. I'll stand guard for you. Wait for me to knock three times so you know it's safe. Go.”

Without waiting for an explanation, I did as he asked and made my way toward the toilets. Luckily, the men were all busy with their games and getting drunk. No one tried to stop me, or even see me. I sneaked inside and shut the door behind me, giving the key a turn for good measure. Now I just had to wait for Jean's signal. While at it, I unwrapped the small package he had given me to take a look.

It was a wooden box, simple but beautifully carved by hand. I opened the lid and had to chuckle. Soap. Jean's secret contraband aboard a pirate ship was soap. Before I knew it, laughter rumbled right out of me, filling the confined toilet room, forcing me to lean on the wall so I wouldn't literally roll on the floor.

Soap. Bless that man. I would have to get a bar for myself after we made port. Then we could both stash it away beneath the loose plank. A better knife, a coat and soap. What a strange shopping list.

Little more than a minute later, I heard three knocks on the door. I could finally wash without worries. Still, I wasn't going to take too long, just in case. I filled the basin with water, stripped my clothes and washed as fast as I could. The last thing I wanted was for my friend to get beat up by someone desperate to use the loo for doing me a favor. My hair took longer to clean, but thank God, I wasn't interrupted. By the time I was done, the water was a grimy gray color.

I dried out the best I could, dressed up, threw the water down the toilet and stored the soap back into its box, cloth securing it from prying eyes. I opened the door and gave Jean a very grateful smile before walking past him – but not without sneaking the box back into his hand.

No one needed to know we were colluded in our mission to upkeep a proper hygiene. It would be our little secret.