#My point is that broken hope is not the baseline.

[viktoriamagrey]

Hope is for the Brave

People say hope is weak; easily snuffed out. That hopeful people will become jaded; that “hopeless idealists” are a temporary state. Hope, despite its deceptively gentle nature, isn’t meant to be held like a shield, but a blade. Hope is meant to be fiercely held on to and stubbornly unsheathed like steel from its scabbard. Hope is not a fading desire; it’s the greatest tool to a fighting soul. Hope should be looked at in the places it thrives in; not the ones it fades away in. Don’t look to the hopeless dreamers that shatter like crystal when their hope turns to dust and slips through their hands, then point to hope as if hope was a broken lifeline. Do not go looking for hope in the hands of the people it doesn’t belong in. Hope belongs in the courageous, and shines in the hearts of the warriors who are strong enough to wield it. Hope is the fuel of a healthy soul; and it flourishes in the grasp of undying faith. Hope is the strength of a human who can always look to the stars, even when the darkness is clouding their eyes. Hope is for the brave.

[snapscube]

I HAVE UPDATED THE AUTOPSY REPORT CHARACTER AND CASE RANKINGS

More thoughts below

3-2 WAS OKAY. I don't know if it was maybe down to how broken up my playthrough of it was compared some others, or if maybe it was breaking it up so much BECAUSE it wasn't hitting me as much as I wanted it to, but it really just fell a lot more flat than I had hoped by the end of it. It has a great first third/first half though! I love the DeLites, Luke Atmey has maybe my second favorite name pun so far and was initially a fun character to follow, and I was so happy to see Adrian come back even in a relatively minor role. But as I said in my previous gut reaction post I kinda just didn't vibe with the progression of the mystery. I kinda felt like a lot of the logic threads were very loose and random and Atmey turned out to not be quite as engaging of a character as I had hoped. It had the same effect as I think Glass Onion had on me where the whole point is that a character's motive is shallow and stupid and even it's though that's surprising and funny in its own right for a murder mystery setting it's not nearly as satisfying for me narratively. Also, to be honest, with the introduction setting up all these connection to Kurain Village and the Fey's and ESPECIALLY Ami's Urn I was excited to maybe get some follow-through on more of that plotline which just absolutely did NOT happen.

I have also adjusted a lot of the case rankings to get a better idea of the range of quality across the series. I was ranking a lot of cases pretty high at first but as I get more of an idea of the series' baseline quality/intrigue level they become more accurate and some cases I was being nicer too just cause I didn't know any better will get some more scrutiny.

In terms of the character rankings, I don't feel like explaining them individually. I think one or two major repositionings have happened though. Specifically I bumped up Matt Engarde quite a bit. I always thought he was a fantastic character but I was VERY ANGY at him for getting Maya kidnapped and so I didn't want to see his dumb face again so I put him in "would not spit at you" tier. But I have to admit..... I'm gonna be thinking about that reveal moment in the detention center for a long time. It's too good to not be in "love to hate you" tier.

[miss-musings]

Crosshair's 10 Most Impressive Shots in "Star Wars: The Bad Batch"

We're now officially three weeks removed from the series finale, so I thought it'd be a fun time to look back at our favorite sniper and review some of his most impressive shots.

Note, I'll be ranking items from "The Bad Batch" TV show only, so there won't be any entries from "The Clone Wars" S7.

I did get a lot of input from folks here and on Twitter, and a lot of people ended up saying the same ones. I put them on here along with a few of my own.

As for how I determined the order, I judged based on a combination of: the distance of the shot, the size of the target, the speed of the target (if applicable), other external factors like light conditions and weather, and "internal" factors like Crosshair's physical and mental state.

You're free to disagree with which ones I picked and how I ordered them. It's all subjective.

Also, I don't proclaim to be an expert in marksmanship nor am I a military sniper. But, I do have a general baseline for how difficult Crosshair's shots would be IRL. I used to go shooting with my dad a lot at both indoor and outdoor ranges, and I was pretty decent at both pistol- and rifle-shooting. So, that's what I'm using to judge Crosshair's shots.

With that out of the way, let's dive in with #10:

10. Killing Lt. Nolan in 2.12 "The Outpost"

I probably wouldn't have put this one on the list for myself, but I had multiple people suggest it should make the cut.

While this shot is very important narratively, it's not very impressive from a purely technical perspective.

I mean, hitting a relatively stationary human-sized target from a few meters away... It's definitely not the most impressive shot on Crosshair's resume.

However, I did feel it was worth adding to the list for the simple fact that Crosshair is physically exhausted and mentally broken in this scene. He basically uses the last of his strength to kill Lt. Nolan, because he immediately collapses right afterward.

Also, Crosshair might be right-handed, but he's pretty good at shooting his pistol leftie. We don't really see the shot hit Nolan, but if you zoom in after his body hits the ground, you can see that Crosshair shot him straight through the heart. He wasn't leaving that bastard alive after everything he and Mayday went through.

9. Lunch tray ricochet in 1.01 "Aftermath"

Even though this isn't a shot in the traditional sense -- considering there aren't any firearms involved -- I had to put this on the list for two reasons.

One, I had multiple people suggest it; and two, because I've watched this scene dozens of times and only recently found out that Crosshair actually hits two clones with his lunch tray.

He initially throws it at the clone Tech was fighting, presumably knocking him down. But then it ricochets so hard that it basically clotheslines another clone who's just standing there, minding his own business. Dude was hit so hard, he was like floating in midair for a split second.

Also, this plays into my headcanon that Crosshair would be excellent at any sports that require excellent aim and coordination. If he was on a basketball team, he'd be a three-point specialist for sure!!

8. Plan 55 ricochet in 3.12 "Juggernaut"

This is the closest thing we get to a trickshot in S3, so I had to include it on the list.

Here, we see Crosshair's quick-thinking and perfect aim take out several troopers at once by purposely ricocheting his shot off the magnetically sealed doors.

As we know from “A New Hope,” magnetically sealed doors/surfaces are no joke. You really have to know what you're doing or someone's gonna get hurt. Thankfully, Crosshair is a freakin' pro at this!

It honestly reminds me of all those crazy pool shots where you have to plan out four or five bounces/angles ahead to get the angle you really want.

7. Downing a spaceship on Ryloth in 1.11 "Devil's Deal"

NOTE: This is the only clip I couldn't readily find on YT. So I included the clip of Crosshair killing Orn Free Taa from the same episode to maintain symmetry in this Top 10 list.

Don't let the clip fool you. The shot I'm actually talking about takes place before this, when Crosshair -- from like 300 meters away, mind you -- takes down a fast-moving ship by shooting one of the engines.

Look, I love S3 Crosshair with all my heart, but his shooting abilities were severely diminished after his time on Tantiss. When I was doing my S1 rewatch and got to this scene in 1.11, I was like "Oh yeah, I forgot Crosshair used to be able pull off crazy shit like this."

It's actually sad how many of his made shots in 1.11 are like an inverse of his missed shots in 3.11. Here, Crosshair easily shoots a tracker onto Hera & company's ship, and later shoots the engine with no problem, despite the speed and distance.

In 3.11, though, he misses CX-2's ship and fails to track Omega back to Tantiss. 😭

6. Shooting Wrecker's knife in 1.01 "Aftermath"

Now we're getting into the really impressive shit! Most of these remaining entries have Crosshair shooting small targets and/or fast-moving ones.

In this instance, it's both. Wrecker throws the knife like this is skeet-shooting or something, and Crosshair just very casually shoots it into a droid.

Have you ever seen someone who was so good at their job/hobby that they make it look effortless? Like they're not even trying? This happens to me sometimes when I watch the Olympics. I'm like, "That's not so hard. I could probably do that." And then I try it for like half a second, and I'm like, "Oh no, those people are insane."

That's how good S1-2 Crosshair is. He makes shooting a fast-moving knife look effortless.

5. His four-kill trickshot in 1.15 "Return to Kamino"

These next three are all no-brainer entries. I think the biggest question will be why I went with the order I did.

Here, we have Crosshair displaying two very important elements of marksmanship/sniping: patience and careful aim.

Crosshair evidently set up at least four mirrors (I counted the ricochets in the shot) well in advance in the exact spots he needed to take down his Imperial squad, if need be. That's some serious foresight and preparation -- to know exactly where everyone would be standing, and have all the mirrors ready to go ahead of time.

He must've set them up even before he brought Hunter into the training room, or Hunter would've seen them and probably signaled his teammates.

He's also hitting a target that seems to be somewhere between the size of a golf ball and baseball from like 10-20 meters. And with his sidearm.

I know everyone loves the hallway mirror ricochet to kill the squadron of battle droids in TCW Season 7, but it didn't qualify. But, honestly, I think this one is more impressive anyway. He hit the first 1.15 mirror from farther away than he does in TCW S7, and he's using his pistol in 1.15 rather than his rifle and scope.

Talk about accuracy!

4. Sniping the tank in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"

Oh man! I think we all love this one, right? It's just one of my favorite sequences in the entire show -- the framing, the colors, the effects of the dirt flying up behind him.

I love how Crosshair baits the droids to get the exact angle he needs, and the dude clearly has nerves of steel for staring down the barrel of a tank without flinching. I wonder how many times he's done it, considering he seemed to know exactly how to beat them. I'm guessing at least a dozen.

This is another example of "expert making their expertise look effortless," when in reality, we'd all shit ourselves if we attempted to do the same.

Honestly, sometimes I wish we could've had this version of Crosshair face off against Hemlock in 3.15 -- the dude who stared down the barrel of a tank and didn't flinch at the most literal version of "kill or be killed."

3. Stairwell trickshot in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"

While I love the tank sequence more for the aesthetics, I have to rank the 2.03 stairwell trickshot above it.

That's partly because Crosshair's still physically and mentally recovering from nearly getting choked to death. But, it's also partly because -- just like with Wrecker's knife -- Crosshair is shooting a target that someone else is throwing.

That means he has to adjust to whatever trajectory and speed they throw it at and compensate accordingly, which can understandably be very hard to do in a split-second.

And, in this situation, Crosshair can't even see the puck directly. He's looking at it through at least one or two layers of reflective mirrors. Dude's reaction time is insane!

He also manages to take down at least four or five droids with a single shot, including the tactical droid, which is several meters up the stairwell and into the next room.

I'm not sure if the clones learned any advanced mathematics during their training on Kamino. But if they did, I think Crosshair would've loved geometry and maybe trigonometry too! He would also absolutely kill in a game of pool. I wanna see him go to the SW equivalent of a pool hall, and show Omega that he can hustle people too! He just needed to find a game that would better suit his strengths. LOL

Anyway, as insane as this shot is, Crosshair has two others on his resume that are even more impressive:

2. Saving Omega & AZI in 1.16 "Kamino Lost"

This is one of three entries on this list that *no one* mentioned when I asked for suggestions, but I had to include it. That's because it is -- without a doubt -- the most bafflingly impressive shot Crosshair makes in the entire show.

I have watched this scene dozens of times, and I still have no idea how he knows where Omega and AZI are.

Initially, I thought -- as others did -- that he's using an infrared scope to see their body heat in the water. But, that doesn't appear to be the case.

The only times I can recall Crosshair activating an infrared capability is when he has his rangefinder, which is attached to his helmet. As we see in episodes like 1.01 "Aftermath" and in 3.07 "Extraction," he specifically has to put the rangefinder down in front of his eye to use the infrared option.

No, his scope is just that -- a regular scope. The infrared capability is only attached to his helmet's rangefinder, which he doesn't have in this scene.

Thus, I have no idea how Crosshair is using a regular-ass scope to find Omega and AZI in the dark ocean. The point of a scope is to see better, and I don't know what he might see beside more darkness. AZI's eyes aren't active and, even if Crosshair spots Omega's flashlight, Omega dropped it when she went after AZI, so it's not exactly on her.

I'm willing to believe that Crosshair has better eyesight than the average human in the Star Wars universe or IRL, but his eyesight must be insane if he can see them in the water, even with a scope.

But, whether it's eyesight, some other enhanced sense or just plain luck, Crosshair knows where in the vast, dark ocean they are — not just the angle but the depth too!

It's really hard to tell how far down they are, but I'd say at least 20 meters. And if he is able to see them somehow, he might have to adjust the shot for refraction in the water too.

Plus, unlike the other entries on this list, Crosshair isn't shooting a blaster bolt. He's shooting a cable, meaning he'd have to adjust his shot to accommodate its weight and trajectory once it hits the water. Additionally, with how Omega and AZI are situated, he needs to have the cable hit and latch onto AZI, without hitting Omega in the process, and get the exact angle needed to drag both of them to the surface.

Like I said: I have absolutely no idea how he made this shot. It's definitely the most impressive one he makes in the entire show based solely on external technical factors.

But of course, there is a parallel shot later in the series that's his most impressive one of all...

1. Freeing Omega in 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

I will never shut up about this scene. It's been living in my head rent-free for three weeks already, and will continue to for several months.

This is undoubtedly the most important shot in Crosshair's life: the shot to save his kid and free his family from Hemlock once and for all.

And everything is working against him: It's dark. It's raining. Omega and Hemlock are like ~40 meters away. The target is the binders between their hands, which is like 3-5 centimeters wide, and won't exactly be stationary. Oh, he's using CX-2's stolen blaster, which doesn't even have a scope on it!!!

We the audience get a POV of what Crosshair sees from over his shoulder, and I can barely see Omega's face, let alone her hands!! I said in the previous entry that Crosshair's eyesight has to be better than the average person's because, holy hell, how can he see that?!?

And, even worse, Crosshair is physically and mentally spent in this scene. He had to return to his own personal hell -- the place where he was tortured and traumatized for months -- then got beaten in a fight and had his dominant hand chopped off.

He and Hunter are running on pure adrenaline at this point. They are absolutely hellbent on getting their kid back, even if they die or collapse in the process. They were practically hobbling out of the CX lab together, and when they crouch down on the bridge, Crosshair has to steady himself against Hunter because he doesn't have his other hand.

And, as the final cherry on top of this proverbially shitty sundae, Crosshair absolutely terrified of missing.

A few episodes ago, the guy couldn't hit stationary fruit from like ~15 meters away with a scope in daylight and in a controlled environment. He even tells Omega: "Close doesn't count. It's either a hit or a miss." Because in a high-stakes situation like this, missing your shot could mean death for you or someone else.

Crosshair already feels like he failed Omega because he missed the shot on Pabu. And now, he has to make an even tougher one with every disadvantage stacked against him and her life literally in his hand.

I don't blame the guy for doubting himself.

Thankfully, Hunter and Omega have complete faith in him, and despite everything he's been through in S3, he has faith in himself.

And so, in the shot to end all shots in "The Bad Batch," Crosshair hits his target and frees Omega.

He and Hunter then subsequently turn Hemlock into Swiss cheese before Omega gives Crosshair a much-needed hug, causing me to cry for the 100th time.

I'll admit: as much as I would've loved seeing another mirror trickshot or some other crazy ricochet in the finale (or just S3 in general), this scene is basically perfect.

It also makes for a nice little parallel to the S1 finale, where Crosshair saved Omega's life after she saved his. Here, as he says himself, he goes back to Tantiss to free her because she freed him first.

As someone said on Twitter when I asked for ideas about this list:

"(Crosshair) put his whole heart and soul in this shot, and he didn't miss. He couldn't afford to."

Like I said: this was the shot that freed the entire Bad Batch family from Hemlock forever. So, I think by default, it had to be No. 1 on this list.

*******

Anyway, thanks for reading! It'd be fun to put together another TBB list like this. I guess I'll have to pick a subject first, though, because I don't have any ideas. If you have any, send them my way!

(EDIT: For anyone who’s also on Twitter, give me a follow. @CatchingClassic )

[ikkosu]

MY DARLING MEDIC

(fem.human.medic.reader x pharma)

summary : tarn strikes up a deal with pharma. but when he refuses, the tank takes up a more personal measure to confront him.

warning : angst. fluff (if you look real close💀). blood. this is the DJD what'd you exoect. bro I fucking died writing this. wanted to cut this in like several parts but decided to merge it together. wanted to write this into a multi-chaptered fic but my commitment could never. could be a series ig. lovely headers by @cafekitsune

One moment he's caught Ambulon at gunpoint, then the next he’s scampering down the halls, clutching the vials close to his chassis as he tears through for an exit. The game is up. He should've known better than to nab the easy path. Responsibility purges itself a mile away when confronted at the baseline of his problems. Now, it's got him cornered and Ratchet — who barged into the room — his friend, his oh-so-dear friend, pulls up a blaster.

PHARMA doesn’t know what to say.

Points it at his face.

His own mirth were flaked with rust, crinkled into a grimace, where along the crevices, the miniscule cracks, oozed spatter of crimson. The gun was unsteady; he’s shaking. He's infected. The uncomfortable feeling of your insides twisting punched him back. It gutted him more than he could realize and he’s got no guts, just thrumming circuits struggling, and failing, to prevent the inevitable.

So he does just that— prevent the inevitable.

A, one, two, three BANG of bullets barrage the other side of the room. Disregarding the startled shout of surprise, he stepped round the corner, making a beeline for the shaft. Storms of remorse whirled around his processors as he pulls himself up the ladder. It jostled and creak, much like how his jitter palms does when he's drunk on andrenaline.

He’s made that mistake again. He should’ve known better. He should’ve. Impulse stumps logic and now, he's outside. In the cold. Digits clinched the edge, close to slipping. Close to falling. Ratchet is aboven and where his optics catch below, he can see the fall, the descending vertigo of ire before his eyes.

“Pharma, buddy — what the hell happened to you?”

YOU scroll aimlessly through the datapad.

He doesn’t know; he might never will.

Propped against the armchair, legs crossed and ankle bobbing, the screen flared your face with a soft blue-ish glow as the lines of words blurred together the more you strained to stare.

You're bored. Tired, too. But mostly bored. You were able to rest in your office after a tough match with several unruly patients. They were mechs. Pretty big mechs. And, they were a little, ah, how do you put this, organicophobes?

One of them had a more dire diagnosis : a t-cog malfunction. A type 3 kind. One that involved the t-cog overheating from too much usage, causing it to, in a way if you were to explain in human terms, like an organ, rot. It was deteriorating quick and the metal shards, miniscule ones, had already infected the internal circuitry.

A kind of job that required smaller, steady hands.

In short, they required humans.

You can handle a bit of discrimination — resentment against Organics was normal here despite the rules ensured to prevent so — but it still gutted you, knowing these mechs can do better than to hate another race from their own.

Especially when the said race tried to save their life.

A little bit of acknowledgment doesn't hurt from time to time.

You hope they were doing well, though.

The silence of the room was broken by footsteps approaching your office. The sliding doors opened with a swish and there you could discern the wide Cheshire grin of smugness amidst the slight darkness of the room. You should really stop shutting the lights, its begging to hurt your eyes. His teeth were practically glowing and was obvious he's quite in a good mood today.

You tucked the datapad inside the cabinet and caved against the cushion of the armchair, tipping your chin up into a smile, brimming with curiosity. One much as a 'whats he gonna pull this time?' type of curiosity.

“Working hard, I presume?” He croons, slinking across the room to your cubicle with several strides.

You quirk a brow; he's got something behind his back but you don’t press.

“Depends on which report you’re haggling me about,” You reply back, a playful smile. “Though, I can’t say for sure which region I am currently hard in, doctor. Would you like a scan?"

It catches him off gaurd for a moment — a simple one, two, three blink of his optics and your smile prods wider upon the not so subtle twitch of his wings. It sags in frustration.

“And here I thought I might have, for once, an appropriate greeting from my darling. I can never grasp your vulgar little mind, no less the entire mapping of your organic, squishy little brain,” His optics twitches as he vents. "But I’m not here to lecture you on prudence, no. I’ve got you a little, ah, herbal gift from my trip off world. The one you adore so much.” Then he adds with a mumble. "So much more than me, apparently.”

You perk up, and if you’re anything like a bunny, those ears would straghten right up to the brim. "What, like tea?”

"Even better, dear."

A ceramic mug is quickly perched onto your desk with a clink. You can't help but to coo in adoration at the utterly adorable little thing. It’s those tiny little teacups with teal blue flowers pasted across. A petite like holder, round and smooth, accommodated the curl of your finger. Nostalgia wrings you nto its clutches, back to teatime with your stuffed animals. You'd always be the princess.

You inhale the drink, warm steam wisps from tea, the color is an emerald-like-ore cadence under the stark white light.

"Since when did they have green tea in Nexus?"

"Earth, apparently. Globalization this, Space-localization that. Ignore the specifics. I'm sure you're better off without another lesson in economy?"

"I'd rather keep my thinking intact."

“Hm, that's a lot less fun. Anywho, I've taken some of my time to make it myself.” He pronounced, optics closed, regarding the cup with a theatrical wave proudly. "In fact, I have purchased the finest, well-endowed tea packet from the best of the best merchants. Never mind the cost, it's a splendid little thing, no?”

You’re still a little stunned admiring the cup but you blurt the first thing to mind.

“Smells fruity, for sure.”

He snaps one optic open, then entire look falls into offense. “Fruity is not what I had in mind.”

Ah, fuck.

"....nice?”

"Not that, either.”

“Ah, er, well — Great....?"

“Try again, dear.”

“C'mon docbot, what do you want me to say?”

”I’ve bought a tea packet that costs more than what this entire hospital is worth and you're describing it as 'nice?'”

You scrambled for words, fishing for the right one until— “Fragrant!" You snap your finger. "Right, fragrance.”

He stares.

You stare.

His rigidness loosens a little.

“One of these days I should really lecture you on the essence of compliments. See there? The mug is a ceramic. I’ve taken much care to handle it. It's from a lovely old organic. Her little shop in Nexus are a must to visit again."

You lean against your palm, eyes crinkled, cheeks round with warmth. “Is this a compensation?"

"For breaking your bed, yes—" you choke a little at that "—Now, go on, taste it.” He bends over to rest his elbows on the table, perching his chin on his two servos like a girl would, kicking their little feet during a sleepover.

“Don’t you have to buy me a new bed to compensate for that?”

He huffs, “ I already did. This is a bonus. Now, stop stalling. I have a patient to tend in a few hours and unless you've not taken a sip, I'm not going anywhere."

"Right, right. No pressure, doc."

"Very much."

You pinch the cup between your index and thumb. A pinkie is jutted out the for dramatics where you caught his lethargic look of disdain to it. And the final act concludes when the rim kisses your lips and you take a sip.

"Well?"

You stare at the ceiling for a moment.

"s'good...woah, real good." You blink in surprise, licking your lips to process the taste. "It's like my mother's! How'd you make this?"

“I was hoping you’d ask that.” He takes it upon himself to sit on your desk, inching close. "It's a, well, how do I put this — an obscure ingredient I am not willing to disclose."

"...You didn't lace this with laxatives didn't you?" You challenge.

"Laxatives?" He almost balks. "No, of course not. Why would I ever do such a thing? Think again."

You squint like that'll help you think. "Vanilla extract?"

"No."

"Oh, come on! Sugar?"

"Not a chance, dear."

"Milk."

"Far from close."

"Salt?"

"Are you serious?"

"What is this, 20 questions? I'll die by the time I cover the whole list of ingredients." You stand up with a huff.

All he does return, however, is a bemused crinkle of mirth from his eyes.He says nothing, only curling out a digit where it prods the area just above your chest. He taps it. Once. Then twice. It took a moment before the cogs turned on its own, and when it does, your cheeks flared up much to your chagrin.Oh. Oh. Your heart. The secret ingredient is—

—love?

You slumped to your chair, clutching your face to fight away the embarrassment at his audacity. You wanted to say it was the lamest, cheap, heart grabbing compliment of all time but you can't.

You just can't.

It's too....sweet.

"I swear Pharma...." If anything, you're reduced to a sputtering mess.

"Pharma? Not so much. I think 'God' would be the latter end. I swear to God, no?"

"Okay smartass."

"I know my rear-end is quite fine. Though, reduce your compliments to the bedroom, please."

"Pharma!"

There was something innately fond with how he’s fixated upon your scrunched up faces and agitated eyes.

Your eyes, they were always so expressive, so bright, much like stars when they flicker amidst the darkest night. A miniscule notion yet so wide in prominence. A haven he could dwell in when plagued upon with sullen days.

He couldn’t resist, and with his digits squishing your cheeks, he pulls you close. The agitation melts the moment you feel his lips against your temple, cheek, nose then your lips.

You glare at him when he pulls away."

"...You’re really making it hard for me to focus my angry molecules into an explosive blast, you know."

“Blast? Please, the least you can do is wield a knife and you're horrible at combat.Also, that's scientifically inaccurate.”

“Oh, shut up.” You look away, faltering at the sight of the door. “....You know what I meant.”

“How about you, as the humans would say, shut me up for a change?" His eyes became playful, tone borderline seductive. You're still fixated on the door. “On the topic of something explosive. Since we’re getting off our shift early today, I was wondering if you’re willing to test the new coils on our bed—“

“….Pharma?” But your eyes on fixed on somewhere else, or someone behind him.

"Doctor."

That isn't your voice.

Pharma’s sensor flares much as his wings did when he whirled around. His spark churned at the sight of the engraved decepticon insignia on his chassis and the gruesome signature mask upholstered on the mech’s face. A mask intended to revel fear, douse the flames of sanity.

Instantly the atmosphere shifted.

It dawns upon him how vulnerable he currently is. How close youre in proximity to the tank. How easily he could tear through the room and kill you. Lodge a knife through your chest. Leave you there on the floor. Skull, cracked. Brains, spooling. Blood agash. A simple red stain on the rag.

Pharma is terrified — he’s terrified of his unpredictability. Whatever thoughts are churning in his head are reduced to a blank slate as his shadow looms over, dwarfing his frame. He's not even moving. Just lingering there by the door. Any second now he could lose his temper and any second later you could be dead. Reduced to atoms. When crimson eyes flickered over, leaning to the side to get a better look, Pharma steps aside to shield you from his gaze.

“I’ll be there, Tarn.” He says stiffly.

The mech regards you for a moment before striding off. Away. The doors swished closed. How'd he knows where he was?

“Who’s that?” You ask, an innocent question he wished he could answer but Pharma pulls you up to your feet, his optics locked on the door.

“No one important, darling .” He replies yet he's already packing your stuff, pulling and shoving everything from your desk. His servos are jittery, wings twitching, brows furrowed.

You follow him around, wringing your hands. "Pharma? I thought you said—“

“Go home without me, dear.” He whirls around after tucking in your jacket into the last slot of your pouch and slips the bag over your shoulder. "It’s late and you have an early shift tommorow, no?"

You deflate, defeated. "Yeah, but i—"

"I have a meeting to attend. It'll be be fine. I won't stay up too late, I promise."

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He’s composed but you know he’s not. You know from the twitch of his digits he’s hiding something. He's a cunning deceptive man amidst all the layers but he's never a good liar. You wonder if it’s a reasonable time to press but in the end he’ll just figure out another lie to deceive you.

It'll hurt to leave.

You give him a wry grin. “Don’t stay up too late then or she’ll hog the covers.”

“Fortify the bed for me.” He pulls you for a kiss. "Get home safe."

PHARMA doesn’t want to open the door.

"Will do, doc bot."

Instead, he's pacing the front, wringing his servos, muttering to himself. He knows he should. But the temptation to stride in, get it over with, then walk back out was inviting. An in and out kind of ordeal wasn't the kind Tarn tolerates, much rather, he's mech hiding behind the facade of patience.

He's the worst to impatient.

Steeling himself, Pharma juts his chin up, bearing his usual haughty demeanor and barges through the door. Tarn's imposing presence was enough to halt his circuity but he pulls on the act, pedes an impatient thunk against the floor he rounds the desk, slumping on the chair. Unbothered.

“Make it quick. I have my duties to attend. Another influx of patients up from the east were admitted today. My schedules are full."

Tarn says nothing, regards him for a moment before tossing a deception insignia onto the table. It skidded across, bumping his elbow. By the scrapped off sheen of metal surrounding the symbol, it appears to be ripped out. There’s still energon on it. Barely dry. Pharma pulls away with a grimace. He needed air.

"One of your patients that I've taken care of."

By taken : unruly, unethical forms of torture.

“You ruined a nicely done table in favor of your dramatics.”

“Dramatics to which I prefer not to be taken ever so loosely, doctor." He flicks off a chip fron his talons. It plinks on his desk.

“You’re hiding them here.” He grits, a smooth croon of his voice. So deep, relaxing if not for the fact that he's close enough to snap his neck broken.

“No, I do not,”

“You know better than to lie to me, Pharma. You see, I know everything and it doesn’t take long for me to wrench that truth out of you, I assure you. So, answer me : are you hiding them here?"

“What does it matter to you?"

"A whole lot if you're anywhere close to the ranks of a deception warrior. But, for this circumstance, I will turn a blind eye to it and leave you alone."

Pharma straightens up, surprise. "Impossible. There should be a catch."

He can imagine how smug the smile behind the mask is. A crinkle of his eyes, a gentle prod of his lips — a facade so deceiving it was hard to believe this mech was the cause for all the sufferings they've imposed upon those traitors.

"Yes. And I'll get to the point. I accepted your rejection to your proposal last week because I understood your hesitance. I gave you time to think about it and right now it is dire I require more stocks of the T-cogs. Refuse me and I'll have to take up a more, personal counteractive measure to persuade you."

Pharma stiffens. He tries not to glance at your framed picture on his desk.

"You wouldn't want that would you?"

He narrows his optics. “I don’t know what you mean,"

Tarn shoots out an arm, wide digits curled around his neck cables before he yanks him close, clamping down, choking him. The doctor struggles, clawing at his chest.

“You’re meddling with an organic, Pharma—"Tarn croons, squeezing tighter with every disgust that laced his word. "—That is what I mean and while I prefer not to cut out the pleasantries, she will suffer from the consequences of your actions if you’re not going to concede. So, I’m going to make myself clear. Do you accept that deal or do you not?’’

Pharma tugs on his wrist to loosen the grip

“Please, anything, please, I—“ He holds up his hands placatingly, choking down his last grip of pride. "I'll do it. I'll do it! Just don't..."

Please, don’t hurt her.

"....Just don't. She's innocent. Don't bring her into this, Tarn. She's a remarkable doctor, please—"

Tarn releases his hold. Pharma drops to the ground, clutching his neck.

"I'll send you the list of requirements and a few donors willing to concede. You know where to find me when a problem arises."

Pharma is still on the ground, shaking, pressing his helm against the cold, metal floor. The footsteps disappear much like the diminishing hope in his chassis.He shouldn’t have listened, he shouldn’t have. Tarn and his sweet, sweet lies that’ were always so alluring, drawing him into the abyss.

You're in front of him. Behind was Tarn. He's got a blaster. And from the core were wisps of smoke,

THE tea cup, the one with the flowers painted across were discarded shards on the floor. Fragmented much like the reality he denies as he's wrangled behind. Arms tied. Wrists bounded. He stares, distraught.

”Ph..Pharma…” You’re confused as your palm hover overs the stain, the hole on your torso, the white a crimson red. You look down then up, expression contorted like you're asking him why. “I- I don’t understand…” You ramble and three frantic steps back you collapse, stumbling to the floor.

"What have you done....." Pharma tries to wrench away from Helex's grasp, voice rising to octaves. "Organic internal structures are weaker than a Cybertronians! This blow is fatal, do you not realize she'll die?!

Tarn steps over your body, and marches over to the jet, grabbing his face with a forceful shove. "Think again before you lecture me about those flesh-like scum. Why do you think I've chosen this method of action to condemn your actions with?"

"I couldn't get hold of the corpses in time!" He's frantic, shuffling, leaning aside to peer over the wide shoulders of Tarn. " They're not easy to get when you're a doctor every hour. I couldn't possibly kill the patients, cant I? Please, she needs medical attention, Tarn."

"And it's delayed, much like how you delayed my commodities."

"A deal is a deal. You should know better than to disrupt it."

He should've known better.

Pharma shoots out an arm, he clutches the white jacket, the sleeve, pulling the body. He ignores how heavy, how limp and lifeless you were, compared to the motning when you were just laughing, rolling around on the bed that smelt like lavender, smiling about some pointless joke you scoured from the net.

With each pull, crimson stained and scraped the concrete floor, grime collecting at the base of your body. He doesn't seem to mind. He's too tired. Much too lethargic. When he's got you in his arms, he cradles you, holding you. His digits pinch your cheeks, You’re not warm anymore. You’re cold. Just like his armour, just like the air, just like your eyes. Much like a star, it's doused. The brightness — it's gone. No longer flickering. A mass, the singular speck, gone.

“Pharma, buddy —what the hell happened?”

“Everything. Everything did.”

He cups your jaw, presses a kiss to your temple, your nose, then one last lingering kiss to your lips.

[faceofpoe]

Let's talk about that scene in the brig after they go back for Omega in the pilot. Crosshair's been getting more and more worked up - he's just finished blaming Hunter for ignoring orders and getting them locked up when Omega comes to sit with him.

To this point he's criticized Hunter's leadership but hasn't yet broken with the squad. He's not happy but there's still a general "in it together" vibe he's grudgingly following along for.

And then his "you can't help it" conversation with Omega is cut off by the guards ordering him out of the cell. He doesn't move - Hunter puts himself in the middle and, "We stay together." Once they show they're willing to use force, he gets up and cooperates.

Is he demonstrating that he's still a good soldier, unlike the rest of them?

Or is he falling on something of a proverbial sword (what ends up being his own sort of protracted torture version of Plan 99?) to stop this moment from escalating, and counting on the whole 'they'll come back for me' thing when he gets up and walks out?

Faced with only the few blasters left in the room vs when they're first intercepted in the hangar, would they have normally taken their chances fighting their way out this time once the barrier is dropped?

Except now Hunter has thrown this curveball priority in with this damned kid?

If Bracca "aim at the kid" ruthless weaponizing of what he's seen is Hunter's first priority/ 'fire the engine they're hiding in' Crosshair is peak 'hyperactive inhibitor chip' Crosshair, then this post-chip (??) Crosshair is a reversion to his baseline attitude of Omega - which is simply that she has no business being in this fight/in this squad at all.

Part of what makes the whole "you weren't loyal to me" thing so delightful is how sticky it is. You've got a skilled sniper willing to kill gunning for you, what are you going to do?

But what would they have risked for him upon grasping the full implications of the inhibitor chip, upon seeing what it does to Wrecker, if Omega weren't adding this whole new dimension and dynamic to their decisions?

Anyway, my musing is that this scene in the brig is when Crosshair actually went along with Hunter in prioritizing Omega over leaping into action that would put her at risk, and this is at the root of all of his episode 1.15 bitterness/1.16 sticking with the Empire/having stuck with the Empire after having the chip removed(after Bracca??) more so than just a vague 'you should have found a way to save me from the chip/from myself/reunite us once more.'

Making the progression in season 3 from "there is no we" to "did they teach you Plan 72?" the key to unlocking Crosshair's side of reconciliation. When Crosshair opted to stay behind on Kamino, he was still in full "just because you're a clone doesn't make you one of them," mode with Omega in their second side-by-side scene that mirrors the brig.

They chose her, who isn't even one of them, over him, after he fleetingly chose her too for Hunter's sake.

When they cross paths for the first time on Tantiss, "there is no we/I'm not them" - he's still viewing her as this foolish sidekick his one-time brothers saddled themselves with. But he's also trying to optimize what he views as her chances for success, at the cost of his own hope for freedom. Her safety matters to him, Plan 88 - for her own sake, or perhaps more likely, for Hunter & co's sake (hearkening back to their first stuck-in-prison/averting the fight theory).

But then we get their third side-by-side scene once her plan has dead-ended.

Acknowledging "we," neither of them could have done this alone; acknowledging her finally as one of them; perhaps even acknowledging that he still could be, too (see: their flawless execution of Plan 72; the continued cooperation in the next ep; continuing to prioritize getting her to safety over what he views as their best shot after she tosses the credits at him).

(We don't leave our own behind, even when your squad is now a dog you didn't want and a girl you've been noisy-sighing at for the past several hours).

Anyway all of that to say BOY am I looking forward to episode 5 and the messy messy situation they're all in now and the messy messy conversations they need to have.

[terramythos]

Anyway here's my breakdown of the ffxiv jobs, my opinions on playing each, and the tier rank of how good their story was

TANKS

WARRIOR - warrior is so fucking funny why did they make it able to solo heal itself and the entire party in 90% of the content in the game. Raw Intuition/Bloodwhetting is so broken in dungeons its hilarious. And then they have like 3 additional healing skills on top of that. And they kept buffing it throughout Endwalker. So it is currently the easiest to play, does the most damage (i think...?), and has the best healing of any of the Tank jobs. 2nd fave probably.

Story Tier: C, it's ok, Curious Gorge is a good name. i have like nothing to say about it it's a generic AF story

PALADIN - I used to hate PLD but I think the partial rework they got halfway through Endwalker helped it a lot. It's much less clunky now. Probably still my least favorite Tank though Hallowed Ground is fun and it's pretty close to Gunbreaker for me.

Story Tier: F, this is the worst class storyline in the entire game. It's so stupid. The writing is so bad the writers acknowledge it makes no sense at all and I'm like. Yeah, thanks, I am experiencing this shit. Perhaps write a story that makes sense next time instead of pointing that out.

DARK KNIGHT - Unfortunately this is my favorite Tank 🫡 which is rough since it has the worst survivability out of any of them. But I love how you use MP and the silly number of OGCDs. The Blackest Night is such a fun ability and it's a crime that it's not a baseline skill you get from the start. Why do they have so many DRs that only cover magic damage. I must ask.

Story Tier: S, there's a reason it's the most popular and well regarded class storyline. It's really good, also the only questline I know of that uses the quest log text as part of the narrative. Outside maybe a few of the very late Endwalker quests. And, well... same writer lmao

GUNBREAKER: I think GNB looks cool as fuck and I like that it has 2 DPS rotations. The Gnashing Fang combo is so fun. Superbolide memes are always fun. My main issue with it is a skill issue because I am just constantly misaligning its burst windows.

Story Tier: C. It has some interesting lore but I found it pretty forgettable as a story.

HEALERS

WHITE MAGE: I hated White Mage for a while but something clicked and now I totally get it. I find it fun in dungeons cause you get to Holy spam and stun lock everything. As uh. The healer. That's fun. Once you get Afflatus heals (and then Afflatus Misery) it clicks. It's fun maximizing damage and playing chicken with the tank's HP.

Story Tier: B, you get a lot of lore around the Padjal, and I think the Stormblood story where you find a padjal living in hiding with her mother is pretty good! Also it's not technically the job storyline but there's a WHM side quest to get a unicorn mount? i guess it's technically a CNJ quest but same diff. no one else gets that shit. so that's cool

SCHOLAR: probably my least favorite of the healers... it just feels super clunky. You can tell a bunch of different design philosophies went into it over the years and none of them mesh very well. They've made it so the Fairy Gauge controls literally one spell. Why have the gauge at all? It's also a huge missed opportunity that there's no tie in or interaction with the fae in Shadowbringers. I love the idea of a battle tactician healer but I think it needs a rework.

Story Tier: B+, I liked the characters and its the main way to get backstory and lore on what happened with Nym.

ASTROLOGIAN: While I think AST has a similar issue to SCH (lots of different design philosophies over the years) I find it way more fun to play. I like the card mechanic and how it interacts with the rest of the party. AST is basically the only job that has its own like. Minigame? As part of its rotation. And I know a lot of people don't like the RNG for it but personally I find it fun. I know AST is getting a redesign in Dawntrail so hope it's good.

Story Tier: C? I think? I'll be honest I don't remember it super well but I didn't find anything objectionable about it. And I like the tarot aesthetic and lore and how it's healing based on manipulating luck.

SAGE: I think SGE is tons of fun, I'm not sure if I like it or WHM more. I love all the skills SGE has for preventing damage and the gimmick where your DPS heals someone in the party. Visually the hi-tech laser shooting healer is a lot of fun. IT HAS A GAP CLOSER. The only thing i wish was it wasn't so MP negative and that it did more damage. It's a little sad its DPS output is so low compared to the other healers (even AST when you factor in how it buffs the party). Since SGE is supposed to be a healer that heals through damage it's silly its damage kinda sucks.

Story Tier: A, I loved this storyline. Both the Endwalker job stories are very self contained and interesting. While the twist is pretty obvious it's still an interesting exploration of uh. Scientific ethics. Yeah

PHYSICAL MELEE DPS

MONK: I've probably played MNK the least of the phys melee but I like the whole adaptable combo thing. Not much else to say since I have played it so little. Might bring it back out and try again. It DID have the funniest guide in the Balance discord for a while.

Story Tier: D. I think? I remember thinking it was dumb, lmao. Sorry.

DRAGOON: MAN I wished I liked DRG more. It looks so fucking cool and I like how it interacts with the dragon lore. But I find it very punishing to play. To do good damage you have to align so many different cooldowns... and snapshot your DOT correctly... and screwing one thing up just fucks your DPS output forever. Like AST I believe this is being reworked in Dawntrail so I hope it feels better to play.

Story Tier: C+. I think it starts strong since you get to meet Estinien pre-Heavensward and it melds nicely with that story. But I found it pretty directionless post-HW which is a shame.

NINJA: I remember finding this one fun. I like that there are different combos you do that have varied finishers depending on the situation. I am just... bad at remembering which combo to use to get which finisher, lol. So I haven't played it as much. NIN gets a lot of flavor other jobs don't get with their unique run and jump animations. And you get a Bunny of Shame on your head if you fuck up a combo, which is incredible.

Story Tier: A. The Rogue story is probably the most memorable of the basic class quests. Ninja just has great characters and a fun story. What is with that one guy. Karasu? If you know you know. I also like how the Rogue characters show up later in the Ninja story. That's fun.

SAMURAI: I had a similar experience to WHM here because I initially hated it then really came around once it clicked. SAM seems very complex, it has a ton of buttons and different combos. But it is actually quite intuitive once you figure out the general pattern. And it does INSANE damage. I think it's the highest DPS output in the game? I love building the combos and then doing a huge finisher for a bajillion damage. The guaranteed crits and constant OGCD weaves make me feel unstoppable. I think this is tied with RPR for me.

Story Tier: B+. I found the exiled samurai character and his journey toward redemption very compelling. I won't spoil beyond that. However it does fall apart a little in the second half. Still fun but not as good.

REAPER: I love RPR, the teleportation is a lot of fun, and I love finally unleashing the demon form and going ham on the enemy. The weapons are the coolest looking in the game. Every scythe design hits. I probably played this the most in Endwalker. My main critique is the Death's Design mechanic. I hate having to keep a stupid debuff on the target to do damage. It's like a dot but without the optimized snapshotting. If they want to keep this idea i think it would feel better to change it into something like SGE's Kardia where you apply it to one enemy to do increased damage to it without having to worry about reapplying it. not sure how they would balance this for aoe but that's not my job. But even with that caveat I still really enjoy the job.

Story Tier: A+. While it doesn't reach the highs of DRK's story it comes close. I love the badass old lady main character. Her hunting a voidsent that possessed her grandfather would be cool enough but making her a Garlean exile in hiding who grudgingly agrees to train you just adds an extra cool factor. I really enjoyed this story. As a bonus theres a lot of incidental dialogue in the post-6.0 Endwalker story if you completed the RPR story because it ties in a lot.

PHYSICAL RANGED DPS

BARD: It's a bit clunky, its got some outdated design elements, it has one of the lowest damage outputs in the game... and i LOVE IT. this was technically the first job I ever played? totally different character like 8 years ago. and i was so so bad. I think i am actually pretty good at current BRD. the animations look cool. i like that it's a class you really need to work for and optimize to eke out that last bit of damage. and boosting everyone else's damage by existing is kinda neat.

Story Tier: B. I'll be real I barely remember this but I do remember it was gay as fuck so immediately gets an extra tier for that.

MACHINIST: MCH is really funny right now because like. It's phys ranged, right. The design behind phys ranged is you have 100% uptime cause you can freely move around and not have to worry about cast timers or melee range or anything. So the trade off is that they do less damage than other classes. Endwalker MCH did not get the memo and does insane damage anyway. My controversial opinion is that it has similar burst DPS to RPR. No i will not elaborate. I'm also bad at doing good damage on MCH which is impressive since it is easy.

Story Tier: B+. Some Ishgard noble's gay son wants to build machines instead of killing dragons the good old fashioned way and has to prove himself to get taken seriously. A tale as old as time. See I haven't done this quest in like years but I still remember it. He is a memorable character. It's just not like. knockout wowza compared to the A tier stories.

DANCER: Dancer is the second easiest DPS job in the game behind SMN. So if i am sleepy it's the one I like playing. You play simon says. you do a lot of damage when you play simon says then do almost no fucking damage otherwise. I think it's the lowest direct damage in the game? for a dps i mean. You have high stakes sexual tension with a DPS of your choice via Dance Partner. I wish other DNC players knew how Dance Partner works. YOU CAN DANCE PARTNER ANOTHER DANCER. THE BUFF STACKS. BUT YOU CANNOT DANCE PARTNER THE SAME PLAYER AS ANOTHER DANCER. THOSE BUFFS DO NOT STACK. ok i'm good. anyway

Story Tier: C. there's some shit about negative emotions and purging them? in theory i think this has some interesting implications with Endwalker lore considering Dynamis and its role in the story. Very similar mechanically to what's going on with the DNC story. but i really don't think the writers made the connection so it's like pure speculation and not the actual story. It's meh. fine i guess. i did like all the flashy dancing sequences.

MAGICAL RANGED DPS

BLACK MAGE: I am so so so so so so so bad at BLM. i pull up the guide. i read the guide. it all makes perfect sense. i go into a dungeon or trial or something. somehow i always get like Zeromus or some shit. and i drop Enochian or something and everything goes to shit and i'm yelling and i'm not even like slide casting or teleporting or anything i just run around crying. then i remember i have like 10 more buttons i haven't been pressing and oh god the dot fell off. people play this? for fun? i admire it. apparently they do a ton of damage if you can play it. could not be me.

Story Tier: B? There's some voidsent and Thirteenth lore. all the black mage characters are Lalafell because it's funny i guess. OH YEAH it has like the one named male Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te NPC in the entire game and he's fun. look at this twink:

sorry i don't have anything to say about BLM i am bad at it

SUMMONER: easiest DPS job in the entire game. they redesigned it for Endwalker so it is practically a new job. i have no idea how it played before. but it is super streamlined. maybe too streamlined? it's another one to play if you want to turn your brain off. i like that at 90 you summon The Actual Primals instead of little representations of them. and i like the way your burst phase switches between Bahamut and Phoenix. it all looks very cool. they should add Leviathan as a summon in Dawntrail.

Story Tier: C.. i don't remember a single thing about this questline except you interact with Y'shtola's half sister. i think you go to Cartenau at some point. idk

RED MAGE: RDM is one of those jobs that looks really complicated when you start then you actually play it and it is just super super easy. that being said i think it's really fun. I like balancing the white and black magic gauges. Dualcast is a great gimmick and it feels cool to lob two big spells in a row at something. Dualcast Verraising a chain of dead players is so fucking funny. it's a shame that the existence of Verraise means RDM does shit damage to compensate for its utility. It and DNC just sit at the bottom with BRD barely scratching ahead of them. i think? i don't remember LOL

Story Tier: A, I really like the story and characters. I like that you have a middle-age world weary catboy (catman) as your mentor. and i like that he canonically trained Alisaie too and you chat a little about that. it's a fun story!

BLUE MAGE: what the fuck is a blue mage

Story Tier: ???

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me (Spawn! Astarion x F! Ghost Reader) MDNI 18+

Chapter Six: Four Clerics and a Vampire Spawn Enter a Tomb

Synposis: Astarion is struggling to adjust to not having you around for a little bit, but he amends this quickly. Astarion takes a moment to explore his own wants and needs while you are asleep.

CW: Mentions of torture, gore, m! Masturbation, Astarion being a lovesick mess I just had this, “oh Astarion and Tav were never together so he has no baseline for sexual touch.” And my brain went, “HE DOESN’T HAVE A BASELINE FOR SEXUAL TOUCH” and well- here we are. I hope you enjoy! I have put markers for when smut starts and stops for anyone who isn’t into it :)

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. I did take the picture of ‘Birdie’ and Astarion on my PS5

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

Chapter 5: Chapter 7 : AO3

Astarion sits and stares at your broken, crumpled form. He had closed your eyes already and he had dug a hole to bury the cat that so graciously let you inhabit it for so long. 

  He recognizes the country bumpkin arrow as one of Leon’s. How could this happen? Astarion had searched the area high and low for signs of the Bastard and didn’t find a thing- where the fuck did he come from!?

 Astarion lets himself cry as he buries the cat. 

  He can’t feel your presence around him and that terrifies Astarion to no end. He can’t lose you- you are both supposed to be ‘stuck’ with each other forever. 

  Astarion has hopes, dreams, and stupid fantasies about what kind of life you could live together once they were able to resolve your incorporeal person problems. He really just knows that, as long as he’s around you, life will be fun. Hard sometimes, but nothing that couldn’t be talked about or handled. 

 You have given him a rather large lesson in communication and the importance of it- after about six months, you had both celebrated Astarion directly telling you that something you said bothered him instead of lashing out. 

  It had been something stupid- he can’t even remember what it was. He was jealous of some man that you said was very attractive as the two of you peered over the railing of your inn in a small town around Amn. 

 That all feels so trivial now. You could be with anyone if it meant Astarion could have you back right now. He may kill the person and cry, but that’s beside the point. <

  The sun is suddenly embracing him and Astarion feels his body become reinvigorated. 

 You never gave up on him or finding a cure so that he could walk in the sun. You also expressed having hopes and dreams amongst other what-nots. You wouldn’t give up this easily on him and he sure as hell won’t give up on you. 

  You have to be out there somewhere. If you aren’t around him that you had to be teleported somewhere else and if that means storming the Heavens- so be it.

  Astarion immediately begins flipping through Volo’s book- rubbing the stupid pink tulle tutu material between his fingers. 

 It’s a stupid thing to keep- he admits it to himself all the time- but it was such a hilarious sight to see and you had said you hope one day he sees how much you mean to him. Astarion will mess with the crappy material whenever he needs the reminder that he has worth and you are busy doing something or sleeping. It’s helped him a significant amount during the night time- the happy memory soothing his soul. 

  And he desperately needs that reassurance and soothing right now.

 Thankfully, Volo’s book wasn’t totally filled with bullshit- the back detailing a City that is not that far from his current location.

  It’s about two and a half days away. That’s entirely doable and you are more than likely perfectly safe, exploring the city and, with any luck, you are hoping he’s trying to get back to you. 

   He can’t get himself to stop- not even for a moment. He finds himself absentmindedly humming various violin pieces you have played for him since you learned you could be an incorporeal person. 

  He feels border line delirious and he’s pretty fucking hungry if he’s being honest with himself- the creatures he’s finding as he goes aren’t filling enough, but he doesn’t have time to properly hunt. 

   You would be worried and upset with him for not taking care of himself, but he won’t feel okay again until you are back in his sight and within arms length again. 

  The trek is horribly boring- he has become so accustomed to even your little snores during travel that the silence is uncomfortable and wrong. Astarion can’t even begin to imagine how his heart would feel if he tried to fall asleep and stay asleep without you near. 

  The hour he tried to trance out of sheer exhaustion had been full of every nightmare imaginable, but it was a dream of Leon killing you- taking away the only person in the whole world that Astarion would gladly lay his life on the line for. 

  He should have killed Leon the moment he suggested you become a sacrifice for him to get Victoria back. Astarion would sooner go back in time sacrifice him and the other spawn than hand you over if that’s what it took to keep you safe.

 At least in that reality, you could both be together and he would never have to worry about losing you because he wouldn’t have to worry about fucking Leon. 

  He just knows Leon is involved- he can feel the irritation in his bones grow with each minute he walks. 

  Astarion races through the forest- being mindful enough to not go barreling through some poor soul just minding it’s own business. 

 For once, he isn’t looking for a fight. He just wants to get to you and leave- get far away from this Gods awful place and begin your lives together somewhere far, far away.

  The second day feels even worse than the first- twenty four hours was far too long and he was growing more worried by the second stint of his journey.

What if Leon finds you before Astarion does?

 Astarion is worried that Leon will convince you to sacrifice yourself for his daughter if he gets to you first- something he knows you would do without a second thought. 

  Astarion finds himself begging the universe that, for once, he is good enough for someone to stay for him- wait for him. 

 Worth someone being a little bit selfish for once.

 What if he isn’t? What kind of life could a transient vampire spawn offer you? Would you willingly remain a ghost if you had the choice or would you pass on?

 He attempts to trance again when his thoughts become overwhelming. He continues, however, to refuse sleeping for very long or take the time to properly hunt. 

 He knows what his needs are and he will take the time later. However, time isn’t a luxury he thinks he can afford right now.

 Astarion needs you- he’s doing this for himself more than anything.

 His second hour long trance is much better. He dreams of you in his arms, held tightly to his chest- your hair fanning out on a plush pillow while he leaves gentle kisses on your face and you giggle happily. You are here again and everything is okay. 

  Astarion wakes up crying when he realizes it’s only a trance- a trick of the mind. His lips yearn to know how your skin feels underneath them.

 Astarion needs you back by his side yesterday. One day was unacceptable as is, but two? His world feels tilted. 

   He feels like he can breathe again when he spies the massive Watch Tower in the distance- the black, oddly shaped tower looms over the other buildings and it’s presence demands to be seen. 

  His feet lead him through the gates of the City of Manifest and he makes a B-line to the Hall of Farewells. There are people everywhere enjoying their loved ones, but no sign of you yet. 

  Astarion goes to the front of the line- ready to knock whoever over so that he can talk to the teller. Your life very well could be in danger- Astarion hasn’t seen any signs of Leon in the Underdark, but you can never be too careful and that arrow was definitely one of his shitty homemade ones.

 “Hey! You can’t just cu-“

 Astarion gives the man a menacing, unblinking smile. The man gulps nervously.

 “You were saying?”

 “Ha, uh I was just saying, go right on ahead! You can cut me anywhere, anytime.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, my Boy,” Astarion says with a sneer, “otherwise you may not live to see the light of day.”

 A dawning realization of horror crosses the man’s face.

“That’s not what I-“

 “NEXT!”

  Astarion waves, “that’s my cue- I will find your delicious self later.” 

 He snickers to himself after he turns around- the man was positively green-, but when he goes to look down next to him to be chastised by you as you begrudgingly laugh- he’s reminded once again of his current twisted reality. 

  It’s only been 56 hours and he misses you so much- there is a massive hole in his chest with every step he takes and he is praying to every God that you are here. 

 “Hello! Welcome to the Hall of Farewells,” an elderly woman stands behind the counter, “who are you looking for today, young man?” 

  If you were here? You would have busted up laughing. 

“Young man, my ass!” 

  He can’t help, but smile slightly to himself as a tear begins to fall from his eye. 

“I’m looking for Althaeastra Rothwell? She goes by Birdie,” he gestures to show your height, “about this tall, beautiful, kind, hilarious, plays the violin really well.” 

 “Well- that is more than enough information for me to help you!” The elderly woman states while beaming, “she must be a very special woman and how lucky of her to have such a wonderful partner.”

 “I’m the lucky one, actually,” the words slip out of his mouth before he can stop them. 

  The woman smiles even brighter and Astarion has to try very hard to keep himself from blushing like a smitten school boy.

 Good Gods, he thinks, stop being a grieving, emotional mess and focus. You can be weird and dissect your feelings later once you find Birdie.

  The woman claps her hand and performs some kind of magic on a book that flips pages with the intensity of a storm. Names are jumping from the pages- sorting through nicknames, letters, dates of death, etc. until a bright DING alerts the elderly woman that the spell is complete.

 “Ah yes! Miss Rothwell! She hasn’t been here too long- only a couple days,” the woman muses, “hmm well, it looks like your brother already went off to find her. My guess is that you will find her with him.” 

 Astarion feels his entire body become significantly colder than it already is. 

 No- Leon couldn’t have bested him this time. How did Leon get here ahead of him? He did so many perimeter checks before entering the Catacombs and Leon was nowhere to be found. There should be absolutely no reason for him to be here- unless he had planned to kill you so you are a ghost again? That would make sense and it would force you two apart. 

 “Which brother?”

  The woman cocks her head at him and then a realization seems to be forming in her mind.

 You weren’t supposed to be going anywhere with Leon and it’s likely this woman just directed you to your actual death. 

 “His name is… Leon,” she reads the name uneasily, “she wrote only your name in the registry- specifically put ‘WAITING FOR ASTARION’. Brayden tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted. Your brother came in shortly after and checked the registry.”

 Astarion damn near loses it- screaming profanities inside his head and desperately trying to keep from exploding all together. He can’t protect you from prison so he needs to play nice. 

 Afterwards? Well, let’s just say Astarion may be creating a list of people he wants to Falcon punch in the throat after you are safe and with him again. You most likely won’t approve, but he told you not to go wandering off with strangers! You do not have the combat experience or street smarts to be able to protect yourself. 

  Astarion goes to ask another question when a man comes racing in with a very mutilated, but living ghost. An insignia with a boot print and compass rose is on the front. The man’s black, curly locks are mangled and blue stained.

  The older man is hysterical- begging someone to save his son as pieces of him begin to fall away and disappear. Astarion feels a wave of panic go through his body. 

 “Brayden,” the elderly woman gasps, “Gods help us!” 

  A group of clerics descends on the men and tries to help the man who was evidently giving you a tour. Another group goes racing out the door in the direction the body was found. Astarion makes note of this “Tombyard District” and begins to leave. 

  His body, however, freezes as he approaches the young Ghost laying out on the floor- wheezing painfully and his eyes meet Astarion’s a look of recognition. You must have talked about Astarion a lot.

 Brayden’s eyes seem to scream back at Astarion, “she’s in danger! You need to save her!” 

 Astarion would know that magic and knife work anywhere- Leon got to you and this poor man probably tried to defend you. It disgusts Astarion that he is grateful for a perfect stranger, but anyone who has attempted to keep you safe is okay in his books. 

  He will not lose you to this place and he will make sure Brayden’s suffering was not in vain or yours for that matter. 

  Astarion leaves the Hall of Farewells- realizing that the more he sits there and listens to that man wail for his adult son to stay with him, the more and more hopeless and scared Astarion becomes. 

  Leon was Cazador’s best hunter, but it was because he was an aggressive meathead about the whole thing. It irritated the piss out of everyone. He wasn’t subtle and was more than happy to swoop in and steal your mark if it meant he could get back to the Palace faster. 

  It doesn’t take very long for Astarion to track Leon, but he’s alarmed when the faint scent of his other siblings begins to tickle his nose. The guard at the entrance of the Tombyard warned him against going in this late, but Astarion has a feeling he doesn’t have much time. 

 He stole a Ring of Manifesting on the way there so that after he finds you, you can both run straight to Waterdeep. Astarion had used one of his sending spells detailing what is going on to Tav and Gale just in case you both go MIA, but they are expecting both of you to be there. Admittedly, Astarion is quite proud of himself- you are always on him for not having a plan and this time he actually has a plan!

  The smell of rotting flesh and the sound of people crying over their loved ones rings through his ears. There are multiple funerals occurring at once- mostly Drow and a few Humans. 

 The area is not cozy nor is it an aesthetically pleasing place to rest, the buildings look like warehouses for the bored and lonely and the statues along the streets are even graveyard-esque. It makes him uncomfortable- he doesn’t necessarily care for graveyards anymore. Not that he ever did, really.

 There are alleyways here and there, but only one has Leon’s scent and the other scent is Lavender and something else he can’t pick up on. It has to be you which makes Astarion feel even more sick.

 What did he tell you about following random strangers places!? One time you followed a man with white hair because you thought it was Astarion and you had been missing for an hour and a half. 

 Now you have been missing for probably two Gods damn days!

 The scent leads him to an alleyway and the stench of rot becomes worse- Astarion can practically feel the pull of the weave in the air and the dark art of Necromancy.

 Wonderful, just wonderful. 

  Astarion creeps along the wall- grateful that he listened to your suggestion about wearing solely black armor. It made sneaking around much easier and if he’s about to face a necromancer without a Cleric around then he’s going to need every advantage he can get. 

  A few new scents are in the air- much cleaner than the heavy must that threatens to suffocate him. 

Think before you act, Astarion reminds himself, being irrational is not going to bring Birdie back to you any faster. 

  As he comes around a corner as slowly as he possibly can, he pulls his daggers out with the pointed ends against someone’s throat- he is met with a set of piercing blue eyes and earthy brown eyes. Both individuals appear to be clerics and they both gesture for Astarion to be quiet- that they are not a threat. Two other people become more visible to him. 

 Astarion recognizes the individual symbols on their chest as Uhanam- a lawful neutral God that is about law and intelligence-, Durann- a Lawful Good God that is about healing and listening to laws, and Aluvan- protector of Ghosts. He doesn’t recognize the other God, but she has the same symbol as the poor Cleric who had been severely injured trying to protect you.  

  A door appears further down an alley and a man that smells of Undeath with a beating heart comes walking down the alley. Astarion recognizes him as a Shadar Kai almost instantly. 

  Much to his irritation, the individuals let him pass by them, but he watches one use sleight of hand to maneuver the keys off his belt. The Shadar Kai doesn’t even so much as flinch. It’s rather impressive and Astarion enjoys the shit eating grin the Wood Elf flashes at their fellow clerics. 

  You would really like these people. Astarion will like them as long as none of them attempt to take you away from him. 

 “Alright,” one of the clerics, a blonde halfling woman, releases a sigh of relief before continuing her whispering, “hello- are you friend or foe?”

  “Depends,” he whispers back, “are you going to kill everyone-including the people they have held captive- or are you on a rescue mission.”

 “Rescue and revenge mission- actually,” the half- elf woman with the same insignia as Brayden says, “they tried to kill my fellow Cleric, Brayden- my husband in fact, and they kidnapped the person he was showing around. We just hope she’s still alive- this Lich doesn’t hang onto people very long.”

  Of course it’s a fucking Lich. 

 “For all of your sake,” Astarion snarls, “you better hope she is alive.” 

“Your loved one, I take it?” the halfing says.

 Astarion nods- they need to know there is someone here for you and if they so much as look at you funny, he will kill them with absolutely no remorse to show for it. 

 “That settles it then,” the Wood Elf says, “let’s go save some folks and kick some ass!” 

 It was like being around Karlach- the cleric has a goofy grin and an even goofier vibe.

  Astarion follows them- trailing behind so that he can take more time to search and see you before it becomes a bloodbath. 

 You just have to find her and get out of here, Astarion repeats like a mantra in his head, she is alive, she is safe-ish, she is okay. Everything is going to be fine because it has to be fine.

  The place is filled to the brim with various undead creatures haunting it’s halls. Some creatures he has never even seen before and others look like they are stitched together with mismatched parts. 

  Astarion tries to swallow his panic- no sign of you yet so you may just be caged some-

 “NO PLEASE!” your voice screams through the air and the sound of you struggling against someone rings alongside your voice, “PLEASE! I- DON’T WANT TO BECOME THAT- PLEASE!!!!!!” 

   You cry out in pain and Astarion begins barrelling past the Clerics who are trying to stop him, but they can figure it out. He needs to get to you. 

 Astarion pushes past every individual who comes by him- some try to attack him and he is quick to rebuke them or kill them with one blow. Your screams are becoming more and more panicked- you sound like you are fighting for your life and Astarion wishes you were aware that he is right here- nothing will happen to you.

 He just needs to find you and then you never have to come to this horrible place ever again.

“ASTARION!” your cries are coming from down the hall, “ASTARION, HELP! PLEASE!” 

   Your voice has begun to sound gargled, but he knows he’s on the right floor- the scent of Lemongrass hanging in the air like a blessing. 

  When he finally finds the room you are in, he watches as some kind of magic tries to contort you into something else entirely. You are fighting to prevent it- tears streaming down either side of your face.

“Astarion- please hurry,” your anger and your voice being reduced to a tearful whisper, “I’m not ready to die.” 

  And he’s not ready for you to. In fact, Astarion feels positively homicidal. 

  Within a millisecond, Astarion is shoving his daggers between the Lich’s ribs and it cries out in surprise- Astarion uses an arrow of Thunder and sends the Lich crashing into the wall- one of it’s arms dislocating in the process. 

 The Shadar Kai descend on him and you struggle against your restraints- trying to get away from the ones that are trying to hold you back down and keep him from getting to you. They are unlatching your restraints and dragging you towards another hall. The Lich waiting like a coward behind it’s soldiers. 

 “ASTARION!” you scream, “BEHIND YOU!”

   He sends another Shadar Kai to the Shadowfell thanks to your warning, only to have one of the Shadar Kai holding you cut your throat, an angry growl leaving Astarion,and he cuts through every creature his blade can get it’s sharp edge on. 

   A crash from behind him and the horrific creature that comes racing into the room distracts Astarion and he’s grateful that the Clerics had caught up with him because he wouldn’t have been able to save himself from the oncoming Ghoul running towards him otherwise.

  He makes eye contact with Dalyria, but it’s not her eyes. The sight of his siblings and their fate makes Astarion feel ill- the Lich gestures and suddenly they are collapsing to the ground in a ball of red magic. The blood curdling scream of anger that leaves Astarion’s mouth scares him.

  The Lich looks like he’s about to shit himself.

 Not only had this horrible, unnatural creature taken you and harmed you significantly- it had destroyed his family. The only one he knows and remembers. The only people in the whole world who know what it means to suffer just as well as he does.

  The creature gets back up and the Lich doesn’t have time to dodge before one of it’s unnaturally strong hands grabs it’s face and sends it’s flying away from the hall- it’s skull begins to crack the moment he makes impact with the wall.

  The Lich uses shadow step to retreat down one of the hallways as his siblings run at him again- looking rather pleased that they chased it off.

  He feels angry- it won’t be safe for you or his siblings here or anywhere with that Lich fucking off. Astarion wants to go after it- desperately and end this once and for all, but he knows he can’t. 

  Instead, he returns his attention back to the battle and getting to you as you continue to struggle against your captors. He’s over there in seconds- uses Dimension Door to put you in a safe corner and then using Misty Step to get back into battle. The creature that is his siblings stand protectively in front of you- waiting to destroy anyone who dare harm you. Their eyes meet his and they nod- we’ve got her. 

  He tries not to cry from sentiment alone- they care about him enough to keep you safe so he can focus on killing the other enemies in the room and Astarion never thought he would see the day where that would ever happen. It’s a shame it’s probably too late now to try to start over with each other again. 

  The remainder of the creatures are destroyed and Astarion personally mutilates the individual who decided cutting your throat was a fantastic idea. 

  Once it all calms down and everyone is dead- the Clerics lock the hallway door where the Lich had run away and they gesture for the mix and match of his siblings to follow as they exit the building. 

  The Aluvan Priestess, the Halfing, is the one to assure them that they would reverse their condition, they’ve apparently done it before and he hears your choked sigh of relief. He’s surprised to see the monstrous versions of his siblings look at you with hopeful eyes and you back at them. 

 It must have been a horrible 56 hours. 

 Brayden’s cleric in arms and wife comes over and heals your throat, your wrists, and offers you a clean outfit. You are shaking as you take the clothes and you look at the woman with your lower lip trembling.

“Is Brayden okay? He was trying to keep me safe.”

 The woman nods and smiles, “he’s in rough shape, but nothing he won’t be able to come back from- thank Wyst.”

 That seems to make you cry harder and Astarion is quick to scoop you up into his arms now that the initial shock of everything he has just seen has worn off. You cling to his neck, your arms wrapped around him tightly, and he just rubs soft circles into your back.

 “It’s safe now, Birdie,” he whispers, “I will never ever let anyone harm you again.” 

             *****************************

   It’s later in the evening when you seem to finally be more yourself again, but Astarion can tell that something horrible happened to you at the hand of the Lich. He is refraining from asking- not wanting to upset you or push you too hard. 

  You are drinking the honey mead in your hand heavily- eating bread and cheese along side it. Ghosts can’t get hung over so you took it as an opportunity to try to drown out the events of the last couple days. 

  It’s when you look at him with tearful eyes that he knows you are truly, honest to Gods suffering. 

“Darling?” He gently takes your hand in his, “what is it?” 

 You look up at the ceiling with a trembling lip before looking him in the eyes again.

 “He cut me open,” you choke, “he- he took out my organs and put them in other bodies before putting them back in mine.

“Then he was going t- to,” you shake as you try to get through your next sentence, “he was going to turn me into a Necroplasm. A horrible creature only made of bone and ectoplasm. Lifeless; thoughtless.”

  Your face is back in your hands and Astarion is feeling an incredibly confusing amount of emotions right now.

 He wants to hunt down that lich and destroy the bastard limb by limb, over and over again until he finally shows the last bit of mercy he could- breaking the phylactery. 

 But he also wants to get out of the City of Manifest entirely. His siblings are all separated again- temporarily Ghosts, but incredibly happy to not be melded together while the Clerics search for the remainder of their bodies to reconstruct. He has no idea how it works, but apparently the Gods over manifest are much kinder than the ones who dominate the rest of Faerun.

  Leon is the only one who hasn’t come back, but he’s dead to Astarion either way. He was quite impressed with the amount of damage you had been able to inflict. Once he teaches you how to use a dagger, you could truly be unstoppable.

 However, that’s for a later date when you become settled.

 Gale sent him two tickets to teleport to Waterdeep and you seemed to be relieved that you wouldn’t be staying here- you want to come back, but after you feel more confident in your ability to protect yourself.

  Tav and Gale are getting married in a few weeks- Waterdeep will be good for both of you. It will be familiar and comfortable.

 You can stay together in the room you usually occupy, he will keep watch if that’s what you need to sleep for a while. 

 Anything to make you feel safe again. 

 “I feel so violated,” you sniff and laugh sadly to yourself, “I have the worst luck. The first touch I receive in three and a half centuries and it’s while I’m being cut open and fit to others like a puzzle piece- like a thing.

“I could feel it,” you wipe your eyes, “every horrible thing those people felt before they died. I felt their love and misery for the people they were never going to see again-“ 

  This was not how Astarion wanted this reunion to go- Leon is dead, but it would never feel like enough. 

 Leon took honest, innocent moments you deserved to have and tainted them- all for something that was never going to happen anyway.

 A Lich is a Lich and he’s going to hunt the bastard down- you were just a victim of opportunity in his eyes. 

 “I wish I had gotten there faster,” Astarion whispers, “this isn’t how I imagined this going.” 

 “What do you mean?” You ask, wiping your eyes.

 Does he tell you that he envisioned at least kissing you? If you wanted? Now it feels like it would be pressuring you.

“It’s not imp-“

“No- enough about me,” you say, “I want to know what you’ve been doing and how life in the sun has been!” 

 Astarion smiles softly, “there hasn’t been a life in the sun without you. I barely noticed- I was focused on getting here to you.” 

  “Wait, really?” he nods in affirmation, you smile widely at that, “I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who missed hanging around.” 

  You look so happy looking at him- you are wearing his shirt since your own clothes had been practically destroyed and the clothing that was lended to you was uncomfortable. 

 “I’m going to wash my face and all the ick from these last couple days off real quick- I’ll be back.”

  He couldn’t help but miss you- even a room away when you go to wash off.  Astarion had braided your hair back afterwards. 

  Every part of you is beautiful and lovely- he was so scared he lost you without ever getting to see what would happen between the two of you. He hates how gushy and mushy he’s become over the last two days- at this rate, he’s just going to embarrass himself when you ultimately don’t return his feelings.

“Be my date for Tav and Gale’s wedding,” he blurts out of nowhere.

  Nice going panty dropper- you call that romantic?

 “What?”

  You literally said one sentence and blew up the whole thing, Astarion scolds himself.

  Astarion clears his throat, “I couldn’t think of a better plus one nor anyone I would want to suffer through the cheesy affair with.” 

 “Yes!” You exclaim, jumping up, “one hundred thousand times yes! Oh my gosh!!!!!! We will need to go shopping or thieving- who cares- I GET TO GO TO A WEDDING WITH MY FAVORITE PERSON!!!!!” 

 Oh thank Gods.

  Your once melancholy mood has shifted and Astarion feels a warm glow in his chest. He can already think of what cut would fit you best, what colors, how your hair should look, etc. 

  You ask him so many questions- what color does he think would be best? Will you match with him? What color would be best for both of them? And “GODS ABOVE HOW WILL I DO MY HAIR AND MAKE UP!? I’m out of practice!”

 Oh and you made it very clear- absolutely no tulle or crowns. 

 You both somehow decide on lavender and silver. Astarion figures he’ll wear silver with lavender designs and you will do the opposite. 

“What if I don’t remember how to dance!?” You say, mortified, “I’ll embarrass us both!!!”

 “Oh the horror- to be forced to save my darling damsel in distress from tripping over her own heels,” he teases, pushing a stray hair out of your face, “I’m sure I have more than enough dancing experience for both of us.”

 You look at him and bite your lip- a little bit of worry in your eyes.

“What is it, my Sweet?”

  He struggles to stop his smile at the nice blush that courses under your skin at the term of endearment.

“I- I know you hate parties,” you start cautiously, “are you sure you want to dance and everything? We don’t have to if it would make you unhappy. Just being there with you would be more than enough. Unfortunately I can’t offer not going, I think Tara would murder me.”

  Well that is… unexpected. Astarion’s body feels like it’s radiating with happiness and affection- you are quite literally perfect.

 Pull yourself together.

 “I’ll be fine, my Dear,” he says with a slight dismissive wave of his hand, “besides, this is my first party as a free man- who knows? Maybe I’ll become a party fiend.”

 “Ha! I don’t think you like people enough to do that.”

 “But I like you enough to,” he states, “so if you would like to go to them from time to time- I have no qualms.” 

  Gods when did he become such a romantic? 

  You, on the other hand, look like you might explode and he can’t tell why, but he hopes he hasn’t pushed it too far. Astarion is quickly reassured when a coy, mischievous smile passes over your face. 

“I promise I won’t make you go to too many parties,” you tease, “one too many and one might end up being a funeral.”

“Ah see, that’s my kind of party!”

“Oh my Gods,” you shake your head, giggling, and put it in both of your hands, “you don’t even like cemeteries.”

“You don’t need a cemetery for a funeral if you are creative enough, Darling,” he smiles cheekily, “I do put the fun in funeral after all.”

  You roll your eyes and shake your head with a smile at his Gods awful pun- he learned it from Shadowheart on their adventures and he loves to sprinkle it into conversations. 

“Fair.” 

   Somehow, you eventually end up asleep in his arms in the plush Inn bed like he had dreamed about the other night. You snore softly as Astarion holds you closely to him- making a point of looking at the door and windows frequently enough so there aren’t any surprise visitors. 

  Astarion has never actually cuddled with anyone (willingly, at least). Anyone who’s ever been in a bed with him has been condemned to becoming Vampire spawn (he almost wishes they had all just been dead). It was just sex, nothing more or less. Sure people offered, but it never felt right. 

  This? This feels right and like you were made for him. It’s a miracle truly- Intimacy without any sexual touch and he has the choice to be there, curled up around you. 

  It feels heavenly- better than his trances could have ever imagined. 

  You are both the same temperature so you almost feel warm to the touch. Your eyes are moving back and forth as you dream, he is relieved to see a content smile on your face. 

 Astarion is prepared to be there for you if you have nightmares. You have taught him that just having someone to comfort you is enough. He just wishes you didn’t experience any of it in the first place, but he won’t be keeping you too far out of reach or unguarded so hopefully it will never happen again.

  Eventually sleep takes Astarion too and he’s grateful for the somewhat peaceful rest- until it turns into a full blown fucking sex dream. 

  Astarion tries not to jolt you awake- somehow aware enough of his surroundings to know you are still there. You are still fast asleep- dawn is coming and Astarion is not, which could very well be a problem if you wake up while he’s hard.

   He sneaks away to the washroom- making sure to lock the door. 

 He will just take a bath, cool himself off, and then go back to bed for a cuddle. It’ll be like this never happened. 

(Smut begins)

 He’s never actually masturbated and there is a significant amount of weariness when he thinks about the idea. Sure he’s done it for show, but never in a private, alone moment.

  Astarion has basically been celibate for the last nine months and of course, now that you are a ghost person again, his libido decides to rear it’s ugly head.

 He doesn’t even know if you actually want him that way!

  The water is lukewarm and Astarion leans back against the tub- willing his hard on to go away already. It feels almost impossible to forget his trance- the way your pretty mouth looked around his cock, the way you keened when he filled you for the first time, the dance that takes the act from slow and romantic to something else entirely. 

  Wild, passionate- unrehearsed. 

  Astarion wraps his hands around his cock- desperate for any release he can get at this point. He isn’t going to be able to will this trance or these desires away and he is entirely in control of the act- if he becomes uncomfortable or begins to dissociate, he can stop. 

 “You don’t have to sleep with these people,” you reminded him softly, “Hells- you don’t have to do any of it at all if you don’t want to! Even if you are both naked and you’re already inside the person- you can stop. A good person, a person worthy of you, will respect your needs and be understanding.”

  Astarion can stop. You helped him with this realization nine or ten odd months ago. 

   He strokes himself slowly at first, trying to mimic the movements of the trance- starting with your mouth. You are inexperienced and Astarion imagines teaching you how to suck him off- your wide, beautiful eyes looking up at him eagerly as he praises you for being such a good girl for him.  

  His breath hitches when he runs his thumb over the head and applying a bit of pressure over his slit, his hips bucking upward and his brain paints the beautiful picture of him thrusting into your mouth- guiding your movements by grasping your hair as gently as he possibly can as he gets closer and closer to his peak. 

  In this fantasy- you moan around his mouth and you are touching yourself while taking his whole length until he hits the back of your throat. You wear his shirt like you are now- nipples pert, your breasts swaying as he thrusts into you. Your eyes are lustful, hazy, and wanting.

  Astarion’s head goes back by instinct- a breathy moan escaping his mouth and he’s thinking about what it might be like to be inside you. What it would be like to finally connect with someone he adores intimately. 

  He imagines exploring every single inch of you- finding what makes you wet and wanting for him. Astarion will ruin you for any other lover- his tongue teasing your clit and lapping up your juices like a man dying of thirst. 

 Astarion wants- no, needs- you to be crying out his name and telling him how you will only ever be his like he will only ever be yours. 

(Smut ends)

  He reaches his peak much faster than he anticipated- the release feeling like heaven. Astarion pants as he stares up at the ceiling, entirely blissed out. 

 Now that was incredible. He can understand why people enjoy it from time to time.

 His mind continues to think of you and it gets caught on the words the elderly woman had said earlier today- about how you were lucky to have him and vice versa. Astarion let’s his brain indulge for a millisecond before locking the thought back into the “we aren’t going to talk about this right now, self!” box.

 Althaeastra “Birdie” Ancunín. She would want a nice, but simple ring- nothing gaudy, he pauses his thoughts, or maybe she needs one simple ring and one gaudy one. Especially with her ability to pick up music again. What if she has to dress especially nice for an occasion? The ring should at least be able to tell people all the way out in the courtyard that she is spoken for. 

  He pushes his guilty pleasure thoughts aside. You are his dearest and closest companion- he will not screw that up by making you feel like you have to be in a relationship with him or like you have to jump into something right away. You just started your life and why would Astarion be your top pick? He’s a disaster- with or without you. 

  Well, the bliss was wonderful while it lasted. Now he’s just sad.

  After cleaning up- Astarion finds himself leaning against the door frame, jealous of the warm rays of sun that get to kiss your face first thing this morning. You are still asleep and don’t stir when Astarion climbs back into bed behind you. 

  One day, he will tell you his feelings, but for now? Astarion is going to try to go back to sleep.

***********************************************************************

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

[ibchemist]

Models of the Particulate Nature of Matter

Hello everyone! Here are my notes on the first topic of CHEM HL for the IBDP! Hope they help <3

Lecture Notes

ATOMS, COMPOUNDS, MIXTURES

Atoms are the smallest particle of an element.

Elements are the primary constituents of matter, which cannot be chemically broken down into simpler substances.

Compounds consists of atoms of different elements chemically bonded together in a fixed ratio.

Mixtures contain more than one element or compound in no fixed ratio, which are not chemically bonded and so can be separated into physical methods.

CLASSIFYING MATTER

Elements exist with other elements, as chemical compounds which consist of different elements chemically bonded in a fixed ratio.

sodium chloride, is a white crystalline solid that is added to improve food, whereas sodium is a dangerously reactive metal that reacts violently with water, and chlorine is a toxic water.

Air is an example of homogeneous mixture as it has uniform composition and properties throughout. Additionally, a solution of salt in water and a metal alloy such as bronze, which is a mixture of copper and tin, are also homogeneous.

To form a homogeneous mixture, the inter-particle attraction within the different components mus be similar in nature to those between the components in the mixture.

Heterogeneous mixture, has a non-uniform composition and its properties are not the same throughout.

Does a mixture have the same classification at all scales?

SEPARATION OF MATTER

Filtration is used to separate a solid from a liquid or a gas. Solid is collected on the membrane and the filtrate containing the solute passes through.

Solvation is the process of attraction and association of molecules of a solvent with molecules or ions of a solute.

An example would be sand and salt as they have different solubilities

Residue is the mixture left in the filtrate after the procedure.

Distillation is used to separate a solvent from a solute.

The solvent has a lower boiling point than the solute, therefore it i collected as a gas and passes over the condensation sube, which is surrounded by cold water. This gas is condensed into the pure solvent, into a beaker at the end.

Paper chromatography is used to analyzed the composition of different solutions which are placed in the baseline. The aper is suspended to ensure that it is saturated as

The different components have different affinities for the water (or other solvent) in the paper.

This method can be used to investigate the different pigments in food colouring.

STATES OF MATTER Solid Liquid Gas Particles closely packed Particles more spaced Particles fully spread out Inter-particle forces strong, particles vibrate in position. Inter-particle forces weaker, particles can slide over each other. Inter-particle forces negligible, particles move freely. Fixed-shape No fixed shape No fixed shape Fixed volume Fixed volume No fixed volume

Temperature of the system is directly related to the average kinetic energy of the particles.

State of matter is determined by the strength of inter-particle forces that exist between the particles relative to this average kinetic energy: thus, if the inter-particle forces are sufficiently strong to keep the particles in position at a given temperature and pressure, the substance will be a solid. If not, it will be a liquid or a gas.

Example: which of the following has the highest average kinetic energy?

He at 100ºC

H2 at 200ºC

O2 at the 300ºC

H2O at 400ºC

Answer: 4, as the substance at the highest temperature has the highest average kinetic energy.

Fluids is another name for liquids and gases as they take the shape of their container. Diffussion, the process by which particles of a substance spread out more evenly occurs as a result of their random movement, occurring predominantly in these two fluid states.

KINETIC ENERGY (Ek)

Refers to the energy associated with movement or motion.

Ek:1/2mv^2

As the average kinetic energy of all particles at the same temperature is the same, there is an inverse relationship between mass and velocity. Therefore, particle with smaller mass will diffuse more quickly than those with greater mass at the same temperature.

solid (s)

liquid (l)

gas (g)

aqueous (aq)

Solutions are generally mixture of two or more components. The less abundant component is the solute, and he more abundant is the solvent. The solute can be solid, liquid or gas but the solvent is generally a liquid.

As the kinetic energy of particles increase, they will overcome the inter-particle forces and change states.

A solid changes to a liquid at a defined melting point, and a liquid changes to a gas at it’s boiling point

melting point ≠ freezing point

boiling point ≠ condensation point

Sublimation is the direct inter-conversion of a solid to a gas without going through the liquid state.

Deposition is the reverse of sublimation and occurs when a gas changes directly to a solid.

Boiling point is the temperature at which the vapour pressure is equal to the external pressure. As a liquid is heated, more particles enter the vapour state and the vapoure pressure increases, when the external pressure is lower, the vapour pressure needed to boil is reduced and so, boiling occurs at a low temperature.

When the external pressure is lower, the vapour pressure needed to boil is reduced and so boiling occurs at a lower temperature.

KINETIC ENERGY AND TEMPERATURE.

a-b, the solid is heated, the vibrational energy of its particles increases and so the temperature increases.

b-c This is the melting point, the vibrations are sufficiently energetic for the particles to move away from their fixated positions and form a liquid. Energy added, during this stage is used to break the inter-particle forces, not to raise the kinetic energy, so the temperature remains constant.

c-d As the liquid is heated, the particles gain kinetic energy and so the temperature increases.

d-e The boiling point, there is now sufficient energy to break all of the inter-particle forces and form a gas. It needs more energy than melting, as all the inter-particle forces must be broken.

e-f the gas is heated under pressure, the kinetic energy of particles continues to rise and so does temperature.

MELTING AND BOILING ARE ENDOTHERMIC PROCESSES.

KELVIN

The movement or kinetic energy of the particles of a substance depends on the temperature. If the temperature of a substance is decreased, the average kinetic energy of the particles also decreases.

-273ºC = 0ºK

0ºK= 273ºC

[hottakehoulihan]

Setanta

Characters behave recognizably canonically: Yes Not abandoned incomplete: Complete. Engaging (Funny/cool/thoughtful/feels): Yes. All. Do I recommend it: Absolutely. Curbstomp, Cuddles, Crack, Cyoot: No. Maybe call this "artfic."

This is a post-GM fic that was written prior to Ward being conceived. It's canon-compliant. Also? It's great stuff. I'm not sure what my top wormfic would be if I ranked them, but this is probably in my top three.

This story focuses on original characters in the Worm setting. Only a small handful of the parahumans from Worm get roles in the story. You'll see a fair bit from Tattletale, Bitch, Defiant, and a dozen others you'll recognize (or could recognize), but the protagonist and his inner circle are different people.

The stakes are still high, though, and this story aims to be a serious work of fiction with the same blend of tragedy, adventure, comedy, and thought as usual.

I could use fluff after this last week, but I did enjoy having a work with substance. ...and it's also substantially lengthy; it has multiple arcs. I've been reading it at bedtime for a few weeks now.

Baseline premise is that our protagonist Jordan--who has some injuries, neurological and physical--from a period of his childhood he can't remember well and who got lots of medical aid at The Orphanage school (a pretty great place, sounds like) which helped him break out of his catatonia.

Jordan's focus since that point has been devoting his every effort to becoming A Hero, and he's what some might call inhumanly good at it because he's got his own mind broken and reformed in ways that help.

Alas, he doesn't seem to be triggering with parahuman powers. Frustrating, that. Still, he's remarkably effective. ..and there are some shadowy forces that have plans for him, which will eventually have world-shaking consequences.

...

This work is VERY good--IMHO--and it is sometimes fun. That is praise, and it is also a caution. I read much of this at bedtime (I've been busy) and, well,

I encountered an advice-to-authors once that said "if you're leaving clues for your readers that you intend them to pick up on, a good rule of thumb is to leave three times as many clues as you think they'll need. ...because you're the author, so the clues stand out more obviously to you than they will to the reader."

(and also, the days of reading as Nabokov would have us--with a dictionary, a pen and notepad, and a good memory--are not days most of us are living. I do not take notes as I read for fun, and I do not control the remember. If I always use and seldom need a dictionary, it's only a fruit of my misspent youth.)

The author (Ritic) also doesn't intend you to pick up on some of the clues. Like, ever. Just as IRL; some things are destined to be mysteries.

Anyway.

I read this on SpaceBattles and that's what I linked because I can't easily find this story on WordPress where it ostensibly primarily resides. For some reason it's not on AO3, which is what I'd otherwise urge people to read it on.

My 'rating system' for these wormfic reviews is sort of a four-star system, I guess, with zero, full, or half marks for one of the four (green) categories I've chosen to measure. ...but if I were giving this story marks on a percentage scale? It'd be at or above 90%.

Just recall that it's trying to be both a spiritual and a canon-compliant successor to Worm. You'll have a use for popcorn, but also for your staring-into-space-dumbly couch. (You have one of those too, right? It's not just me?)

Ah; I'm never gonna be a good advertiser. I sincerely endorse this story. As another bit of praise? I seldom was able to consistently predict what the story was about to do. I don't hate predictability--and indeed the next wormfic I read I hope will be fluffy and predictably squee-inducing--but this was a pleasantly mentally-engaging romp that had me gasping out loud sometimes at various surprises.

4/4 and I'll reread it eventually. ...and it's not impossible I'll take notes because there are things I'm still trying to figure out.

[kamorth]

Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

[uefb]

Final chapter of The Riot Act link

Summary: In which the Scamanders write a lot of letters; Uncle Hesiod is effectively blackmailed by every single member of Newt’s family (including Newt himself); Theseus shows every shade of who he is and who he will become; and Newt and his father have a bit of a “glow-up”, as the kids say in the year of our lord 2023. (Click for relatable Newt & Theseus meme.)

Also, 11-year-old Newt dropping truths: “I know I annoy people, Uncle Hesiod, but I think all creatures must be met with a baseline level of compassion, and I wonder if I am sometimes not afforded that because I am different.”

Gifs by @whumpypepsigal

Excerpt (opening letters):

7AM

Floo Telegram (extra charge for weight)

Helios Scamander to Rowan Scamander

Dear Rowan,

Wanted to let you know that Newt’s day at the Ministry was rather awful. It sounds like he comported himself reasonably well, while Hesiod—on the other hand—behaved beastly. I expect we’ll be dealing with the damage for a week or so. No “fairies”, per se, but he’s gone a bit more quiet than usual, so I’m giving him the day with Theseus and his projects to see if that helps.

All that being said, Newt is—strictly speaking—physically all right, so there’s absolutely no need to worry on that front. (No doxy disasters or broken limbs, thank Merlin.) However, you and I will need to have a good long talk, I’m afraid. Make some decisions about the nature of our own relationship with Hesiod and my family generally, as well as revisit more realistic plans for Newt’s future. And then also, on quite a more basic level, we must contend with the now (while somehow not reinforcing the mess Hesiod has dumped into our laps—he planted some rather upsetting ideas in Mud’s fertile little head). Nevertheless, our son went on a bit of a solitary nighttime wander after, more or less, lying to me by omission… So that’s obviously behaviour that must be addressed. I’ve just absolutely no clue how to do it.

Anyway - I’ll be bringing him home tomorrow after work. (And yes — Theseus and I have both enchanted him to within an inch of his life. If he so much as sneezes before we’re back in Derbyshire, we’ll know it.) T has requested to come along. I shall tell you all the details in person, as I’ve got my hands surprisingly full on the one with an enraged 19-year-old who still thinks I can’t tell when he’s scheming; and, on the other, with an 11-year-old, who apparently requires magnificently compelling evidence just to convince him to eat his damn breakfast.

With love,

Helios

7:20AM

Floo Telegram

Rowan Scamander to Helios Scamander

Helios — So sorry to hear it went horribly but happy to know he mostly behaved(?). Unsurprised he fled the flat if upset, though still unacceptable. (How in the world did he get past you, though?) Must admit, am quite worried without details, esp. if T is concerned enough to leave training. Floo chat, please? Or at least summarise? Regarding breakfast: If you move whatever N is working on to left of his plate and then push plate twd him, he’ll typically eat w/out realising he’s doing it. (But thank him when he finishes, so he notices he’s done the routine—we don’t want him starving at Hogwarts…!) Please give both our boys my love.

8AM

Letter

Helios Scamander to Hesiod Scamander

Dearest brother,

I’ve been made aware that Newt’s visit to the Ministry yesterday did not go the way either of you had hoped. Certainly, I heard the tale from Theseus who had had to wrangle it from Newt in fits and starts, but the boy keeps incredibly detailed notes about creatures or interactions that fascinate, inspire, or confound him; and I’d assume he’s classed yours as confounding. I’ll be sending him to the grocer at some point, during which time I plan to unashamedly steal his journal and read all about it myself. So you may rest assured the truth shan’t be twisted by the party line. (That’s a Muggle invention, Hesiod. Quite novel. Not that you would know.)

So, here is the heart of it, brother:

I did not think I needed to make this clear as I’ve already done so in the past… But I do not need your assistance in rearing my son. I have appreciated your efforts to show interest and befriend him this past year, but I’m afraid I will be putting a stop to that, as well. You will not lay hand or wand on him. You will not reprimand him. You will not disclose information—to him or anyone else—that Rowan and I have kept to ourselves for a reason. You will bring any and all concerns directly to me instead of breaking the heart of a child. Furthermore, Newt will be doing any future career preparation with myself or with Rowan; and you are not to even speak to him without one of us present.

Finally… Newt has requested he be allowed to write you an apology for his behaviour—he is a far better man than me, because I didn’t intend to make him do that—as well as “tell [you] some thoughts”. As Newt’s not typically one for telling anyone thoughts of any sort if they’re not specifically about animals, I’m hardly going to discourage him... However, because we will be using this as an opportunity to practice letter-writing and grammatics, I expect it may take a few days, as his Mum and I are both busy through Saturday.

A word of warning: Theseus has just left the flat with a look on his face that usually means trouble, so I do hope you enjoy the visit.

Your loving brother,

Helios

P.S. - Please send any mail beginning tomorrow evening to the Derbyshire address.

8:20AM

Floo Telegram

Helios Scamander to Rowan Scamander

Rowan — Thanks for suggestion. Breakfast eaten. (Who knew earthworm digestive systems were so compelling.) Regarding floo: Can’t while N’s around. But he’s more chipper now, so I’ll try to have T take him out for chips at tea.

The summary is that N repeatedly spoke out of turn + H rather severely punished him. Please don’t discuss in detail w N until home. T + I are handling it delicately and T’s off to MOM right now so there may be nothing of H left for you to worry about, anyway

[mllelaurel]

More Servant of the Shard

I’m about 40% of the way through, and on chapter 10. 

Cut for... honestly more rambling than spoilers. But maybe also spoilers, IDK. 

A little sad that the book hasn’t actually contained all that much Jarlaxle and Entreri interacting with one another so far, aside from the sparring scene in the beginning. One might even argue this book hasn’t contained much Jarlaxle period - his POV’s a bit sparse comparatively, and he’s thoroughly compromised by the titular shard so (probably I say, because I have not read other books,) doesn’t quite come off as his normal self. 

Now that I think about it, I wonder if part of the sparring scene’s point was to establish a baseline for both Jarlaxle’s character and his interaction with Entreri. He does, in fact, feel very Jarlaxle in that. So we read that scene, and it heightens how weird he’s acting later, and we miss Our Dude. 

On Entreri’s end, I rag on him a lot affectionately, and I especially rag on his quest for his own sketchy artifact to match Jarlaxle’s, but honestly? The book does a good job of selling me on why he wants and even needs Charon’s Claw. He’s surrounded by asshole mage and psionic drow who hate him. He feels deeply unsafe and is desperate for a safeguard. 

I find it really interesting, the way fear seems to be the primary driving emotion behind SO MANY things Entreri does. Like. He’d hate that with the fire of a thousand suns and sooner die than admit it, but it’s true. Even his thing with Drizzt can IMHO be fundamentally broken down thusly:

“If I’m the baddest bitch in the room, no one can ever hurt me again” is not a GREAT trauma coping mechanism, but it’s a great one to jump on if you’ve got a lot of pride in your fear soup. And it works for a long time, because he makes himself almost good enough. 

Meet Drizzt. Hello, Entreri. You are NOT the baddest bitch in the room. 

Oops, that coping mechanism was brittle and cracks right down the middle once contradicted. And somewhere deep in his psyche, under what he tells himself is cold rage, ya boy begins to panic. Because Drizzt’s very existence proves he’s NOT safe. He IS hurtable. And it literally does not matter to Entreri whether or not Drizzt himself is a threat. The cortisol in his brain just registers that Drizzt broke his safeguards (which was not Drizzt’s intent and also he’s not psychic) and proceeds to skip all other steps. 

Which results in him trying to kill a teenager repeatedly. GJ. 

Related to all of this, I kind of love that Drizzt has 100% run out of patience with Entreri, per his POV segment. He’s not a saint. He’s a nice enough guy to hope Entreri gets better hobbies and grows as a person, but if Jarlaxle stabs him? At least he won’t have to deal with Asshole Who Keeps Trying to Kill Him again. 

Drizzt’s POV seems on the whole pretty insightful as far as Jarlaxle is concerned. But then, there’s the honking Zak-shaped blindspot. “I don’t get how Jarlaxle can be close to my dad, but also THIS ASSHOLE.” To be fair, I don’t know if this is before or after Salvatore realized Zak and Entreri were huge character parallels and Jarlaxle had a mighty TYPE. But even if this was written after the realization, of course Drizzt would have a giant Zak-shaped blind spot. He loved his dad and lost him in a traumatic fashion (twice, even, I think.) Of course he wouldn’t put him in the same class as Mr. Murder Hobo over there. 

But to go back to Entreri for a second, there’s another interesting note to make. Underneath all the fear and pride, there is some tiny, squiggly something, reaching for some kind of squiggly light. Even beyond his fondness for Dwahvel, there’s his surprise and anger at Soulez for abandoning his daughter. His going out of his way to spare Marek. For all of his buried self-loathing, Entreri keeps having empathy for people who remind him of himself. Adhania as a child betrayed by a parent. Marek as another rogue pawn of the Bregan D’aerthe. It’s crumbs of empathy, sure. But those crumbs are there, even if he will spend paragraphs justifying how it’s totally not that, nope, nothing of the sort. 

I swear, my entire read of these books won’t be Let’s Play Psychoanalyze Artemis Fucking Entreri. 

Really. I mean it. 

What else have I forgotten to note?

The writing of women in these books so far? Not amazing; not as bad as I’d been led to believe, a gross scene early on aside. Dwahvel continues to be great. I don’t know what to think of Shalotta so far. She does have interiority, particularly when seen through Entreri’s eyes. He notes the fear and uncertainty under her cool facade. But as Dwahvel all but lampshaded, it’s hard to get a read on what she actually wants (aside from ‘not to die or be powerless,’ which can be inferred) and thus care. Also I feel like there are better ways to portray a female character who is power-driven and scheming than “sleeping with Jarlaxle and not accomplishing much.” 

Kimmuriel’s budding frienemyship? with an illithid is kind of cute if you squint, and will end so, so, SO badly. Also I love that here we have Jarlaxle and Entreri scrambling for sketchy bad idea artifacts, and Kimmuriel is like, nah, not good enough. Meet my sketchy bad idea dude. He’s the only one who understands me, for we are both psychic.  

Okay, I think that’s it for the moment.

[shenyaanigans]

honestly, trials and tribulations may be one of the most coherent games i've played in a while. like it is so focused on love—romantic love in particular—and what it means to want to save someone, because that is phoenix's central conceit and the entire point of the game is challenging him on this notion. recognizing the way it gets him into trouble, or the ways in which it's unhealthy, or even the ways in which it's incredibly selfish and vainglorious. everything in trials and tribulations sets itself up for pay off—no character is wasted, no case is wasted. the silly ace attorney shenanigans have meaning also because they act as juxtapositions to the very real conversations about love that are happening throughout the game.

and the thing that like. really gets me about all of that is like—this isn't saying JFA or AA1 are bad at all. if anything it's the opposite: to write T&T, shu takumi had to write the first two games. both from a growth perspective for himself as a writer and also for T&T to work to begin with. a pattern has to be established before it can be broken, a tone has to be set before it can be subverted. ace attorney sets the baseline, JFA introduces more elements to it (further setting up the fey clan politics, the magatama, edgeworth's character arc, interaction with GRIEF and LOSS), and then T&T goes to town on the phoenix we've seen throughout the past two games and his thought processes.

idk, that's so hopeful to me. as a writer, there's this feeling if you don't get it right the first time—if the fic isn't perfect, if the words don't land quite right, if you say you're done with something that could be improved—then you shouldn't put it out into the world. what if what i write doesn't say anything. what if i can't make it go the way i want it to. what if it's bad. and sure i can know on a logical level that your first go is never going to be perfect. that in fact if it were, that would mean there was nothing left for me to do, nowhere for me to go. but even considering that there's always this vibe i'm fighting, this feeling in my brain that's like "it's either my magnum opus or it's bad" because "mediocre" or "good" are not good enough. and ace attorney really challenges that for me because like. the first and the second games are good. they're fun. and again, T&T is only as good as it is BECAUSE JFA and AA1 exist, not in spite of them.

anyways idk i've just been thinking on this a while. like it's been a real challenge for me to figure out how to subvert my fairly critical perfectionist mindset about writing and seeing a game series that was great from start to finish get better as it progressed was so... eye opening in a way? the last books i write can be the best ones i do without the first books i write being "bad." sometimes things that are just okay can set up rly great things

[news365timesindia]

[ad_1] Rohan Bopanna (PC: X) Rohan Bopanna will be pairing up with Colombian doubles expert Nicolas Barrientos at the 2025 season opener in Adelaide, to be followed by the Australian Open, starting January 12. Confirming the news, Bopanna said he was looking forward to the new season. “Nicolas is a baseline player and his strengths are speed, return of serve and groundstrokes,” Bopanna told RevSportz on Tuesday. Nicolas is ranked 49th at present in doubles, so Bopanna is hopeful of doing well next year. The good part is Nicolas has plenty of doubles experience and also won an ATP Tour title in 2024. There was massive uncertainty for Bopanna after his partner for the last two years, Matt Ebden, had broken off with the Indian. There was no fallout between the two but the way Ebden abruptly ended the partnership had caught Bopanna off guard. The duo did compete at the ATP finals in Turin recently but the results were not good. By then, Ebden had decided he was moving on. Such things do happen in doubles in tennis but Ebden taking a break after the Paris Olympics and regrouping with Bopanna had led to the hope that the pair could stick together. They had good chemistry, which saw them win the Australian Open in January 2024. “Usually, the doubles pairs are decided after the US Open for the next season. What was more surprising for me also was that my name had been linked with Ivan Dodig when I was playing in Turin,” said Bopanna. Apparently, a commentator blurted it on air which made Bopanna furious. As it is, he was under stress as there was uncertainty lurking over the 2025 season. For the Latest Sports News: Click Here Rohan Bopanna in the Paris Olympics 2024 (PC: X) The hunt for a doubles player who could match Bopanna was not an easy one. As the draw for the Adelaide event is 16 pairs, it will be a tough one. Hopefully, the duo will hit it off well.  Bopanna also said he is hoping the duo can get seeded at the Australian Open. “I am defending points, so as of now Nicolas and I have confirmed for two events in 2025,” added Bopanna. For someone who has been playing solid doubles tennis at the age of 44, Bopanna does not worry about what will happen in the next season. He has been training hard, working on fitness, strength and yoga to keep him going. He will be 45 next year, but is looking to continue. He called himself Level 43 and then Level 44, so a new name could be Level 45 in the forthcoming season. After the first-round loss at the Paris 2024 Olympics with Sriram Balaji as his partner, Bopanna was upset. He took a day off before deciding he would not play for India again. He had already signed out from the Davis Cup in 2023. Though he said his Asian Games campaigns are also over, after winning gold with Rutuja Bhosale in Hangzhou in 2023, one never knows what can happen with Bopanna. The next Asian Games is in 2026 in Nagoya, Japan. “Looking at his fitness, I think Rohan can go on till the 2028 Olympics,” Mahesh Bhupathi had told this correspondent recently. However, Bopanna is not looking that far ahead. He does find time to come home often to be with his family in Bengaluru. “I would like to keep going and do my best,” said Bopanna. The best part is, as he does not raise expectations too high, there will be less pressure. As the senior-most doubles player on the ATP Tour, what Bopanna does in 2025 will be watched with interest. More so at a time when Indian tennis languishes at the depths of despair. Also Read: How a Durga Puja gave India’s Test team its Bumrah X-factor The post Rohan Bopanna to team up with Nicolas Barrientos at 2025 Australian Open appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[news365times]

[ad_1] Rohan Bopanna (PC: X) Rohan Bopanna will be pairing up with Colombian doubles expert Nicolas Barrientos at the 2025 season opener in Adelaide, to be followed by the Australian Open, starting January 12. Confirming the news, Bopanna said he was looking forward to the new season. “Nicolas is a baseline player and his strengths are speed, return of serve and groundstrokes,” Bopanna told RevSportz on Tuesday. Nicolas is ranked 49th at present in doubles, so Bopanna is hopeful of doing well next year. The good part is Nicolas has plenty of doubles experience and also won an ATP Tour title in 2024. There was massive uncertainty for Bopanna after his partner for the last two years, Matt Ebden, had broken off with the Indian. There was no fallout between the two but the way Ebden abruptly ended the partnership had caught Bopanna off guard. The duo did compete at the ATP finals in Turin recently but the results were not good. By then, Ebden had decided he was moving on. Such things do happen in doubles in tennis but Ebden taking a break after the Paris Olympics and regrouping with Bopanna had led to the hope that the pair could stick together. They had good chemistry, which saw them win the Australian Open in January 2024. “Usually, the doubles pairs are decided after the US Open for the next season. What was more surprising for me also was that my name had been linked with Ivan Dodig when I was playing in Turin,” said Bopanna. Apparently, a commentator blurted it on air which made Bopanna furious. As it is, he was under stress as there was uncertainty lurking over the 2025 season. For the Latest Sports News: Click Here Rohan Bopanna in the Paris Olympics 2024 (PC: X) The hunt for a doubles player who could match Bopanna was not an easy one. As the draw for the Adelaide event is 16 pairs, it will be a tough one. Hopefully, the duo will hit it off well.  Bopanna also said he is hoping the duo can get seeded at the Australian Open. “I am defending points, so as of now Nicolas and I have confirmed for two events in 2025,” added Bopanna. For someone who has been playing solid doubles tennis at the age of 44, Bopanna does not worry about what will happen in the next season. He has been training hard, working on fitness, strength and yoga to keep him going. He will be 45 next year, but is looking to continue. He called himself Level 43 and then Level 44, so a new name could be Level 45 in the forthcoming season. After the first-round loss at the Paris 2024 Olympics with Sriram Balaji as his partner, Bopanna was upset. He took a day off before deciding he would not play for India again. He had already signed out from the Davis Cup in 2023. Though he said his Asian Games campaigns are also over, after winning gold with Rutuja Bhosale in Hangzhou in 2023, one never knows what can happen with Bopanna. The next Asian Games is in 2026 in Nagoya, Japan. “Looking at his fitness, I think Rohan can go on till the 2028 Olympics,” Mahesh Bhupathi had told this correspondent recently. However, Bopanna is not looking that far ahead. He does find time to come home often to be with his family in Bengaluru. “I would like to keep going and do my best,” said Bopanna. The best part is, as he does not raise expectations too high, there will be less pressure. As the senior-most doubles player on the ATP Tour, what Bopanna does in 2025 will be watched with interest. More so at a time when Indian tennis languishes at the depths of despair. Also Read: How a Durga Puja gave India’s Test team its Bumrah X-factor The post Rohan Bopanna to team up with Nicolas Barrientos at 2025 Australian Open appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[richardsphere]

Richards DC Superhero Girls Watchlog

Well its time for me to find a new show to watch. Looked at the list of shows to give a shot someday, spun the wheel and the dart landed on DC Superhero girls. (dont ask me why it was on the list, i legitimately dont remember putting it on there...) Problem 1: Turns out there are 2 shows by that name, one with a great artstyle and that seems to feature Harley Quinn in the promotional materials and seems to be quite short-lived. And a reboot of the premise with a lot more episodes. im gonna start with the reboot. Even if its artstyle is a lot less vibrant looking, and it focusses less on the DC character in my top 5 DC characters (Harley, Riddler, Aya from the Green Lantern Animated Show, Ivy, Mr. Freeze)i dont think i could emotionally handle getting attached to the cool-looking artstyle and characters only to be hit by the reboot. So the 2019 series it is. lets keep the one with the highest quality animation for later as a treat. What i know going in: Its a coming of age, high-school inspired by characters who are (presumably all) adults in the mainline comics. (curious to see which choices they're gonna take adaptationally). I'll admit im kind of worried what "everyone lives in one town" is gonna do. With how many superheroes are the man/woman of the town type. (IE: Spiderman is designed around NY. Batman characters dont work if there isnt art deco and Gargoyles, Metropolis is designed to be sleek so theres little Supes can crash into, that sort of deal). Cast is: Wonder Woman, That Wasp Girl (but not the marvel one), Batgirl, Zatanna, Supergirl and Jessica Cruz. The last one is the character i'll admit to being the most interested in. for all the others (except the bee) i have at least a vague, baseline understanding. But for her I only know that the fandom which i shall not directly name had a crossover event she appeared in (which i havent seen) around the time they told me their series was "going back to its roots' (it wasnt). So i absorbed a little through osmosis. At least enough to know that her core concept is "what if a Green Lantern had crippling Agorophobia" (and that she's the only character in that crossover whose redesign / art-style adaptation actually looked good).

And i'll admit "green lantern with agorophobia" is such an interesting concept, (compliments to whomever came up with it) that I was sincerely tempted to find all her comics and media right then and there. But i kept off because: 1-i dont think its healthy for me to get into the Comics Proper. Comic Book Fandom is somewhere between a wikiwalk and a black hole. So I have a personal rule only to interact indirectly through the medium of one-off movies and spin-off shows. Keep myself (and my bank account) safe that way. 2- That is exactly the kind of concept that'd end up either being reduced to a one off joke (bad), running gag (worse) or bungled to the point it becomes insensitive to an issue real-life people struggle with. thinking about it, maybe she's why this show was on the list? I remember googling which media she appeared in and finding the list quite short. So in general my attitude to Jessica going in is "i cant wait to be dissapointed" (though obviously i hope i wont have to be) So now im off to watch the 4-episodes-franen'd-together event movie opening. Wish me luck -------------- Taking a break two-thirds through. ( as of now: the ice cream shop has just been blown up. The fellowship is broken to be reunited in the third act) Some notes: Zatanna is being cast as the "rich, snobby girl". Supergirl is being cast as the "Raphael from Ninja Turtles/Thug with Heart Of Gold" one Wasp is being cast as the "meek and shy" one They made Diana the "cool big sis"/Transfer Student (which feels weird with Barbara getting to do the standard "im new at this school in a different city" Pilot plot) Barbara is being played as the "overly excited, intended audience insert/Designated Superhero Fangirl" Jessica is being played as the "Mai Ti"/Heart / "we needed a vegan option" one. Not had any true problems so far, but i have 2 nitpicks/moments: 1- Im kind of worried about Zatannas voice actor. Its absolutely just a nitpick, but for the character whose entire thing is backwards-talking magic to have a VA whose enounciation of names leaves me to think she was talking to supergirl (whose name i understand to be Kara) when adressing the wasp-girl (who i think from context, she was actually refering to. And conclude must be Karen). That feels like an early warning sign of a potential future problem. (lets hope its a one-off) 2- look, Diana. I can handle the constant "mans world" stuff coming from the isolated island. And the"our warriorrace must spread their peacefull ways" thing you introduce yourself into the show with, might have deeply uncomfortable "George W. Bush talking about Spreading Democracy to the Middle East" vibes. But both of those i can deal with and hope are seeds for future characterarcs. But i cannot let you just move the goalpostslike that. Everyone had failed the training montage, but when its her turn to do a simulation, Jessica actually plays the objective and puts the Manequin Civilians safe-ly out of harms reach and you start attacking the rest of the girls to force a failure? Thats some Kobayashi Maru shit! Justice for Jessica!!! back to the show ---------- [insert spongebob narrator: "Five Seconds Later" screen here] HARELY!!!! OMYGOSH! Why are you here (or well, in the show at all)? Thats a legitimate shock i thought they'd dropped you in the reboot? personally im still not a fan of the 'blue and red pigtail" thing? But that might be the fact that i associate it with the "snyderverse" version of your character. And i just dont like the DCEU. I have to acknowledge its not a bad design, its just loaded with bad associations. Hope to see you cameo more then just this one episode.

back to the "getting the band back together" part of the show -----------

"you cut off for a second, could you repeat the emotional Third Act Speach?" 9/10, good joke. ---- "you are only three-hundred and seventeen years old" I wonder how that lines up with her canonical age in the mainline comics... but in the mainline its "everyone is adult, therefore dating isnt a problem even if Immortality ads Mayfly Tragedies". Here its "she's a teenager, but also been around since before *quickly googles the year 1702* the invention of the fountain pen and might have a love-triangle or romance with a normal teenager at some point in the show". Am i noticing a trend in Jess' use of her powers or am i wrong? So right now i've seen 4 uses, Giant Spring, Safe, Knightly Plate Armor, Magic Carpet. And i note that half of them have a Fairy Tale theme? Is this small samplesize or characterisation? ----- Lena refers to Lex as her "brother"... i dont know enough about the Luthor family in most continuities. But i'll admit that the advert in Ep 1 screamed "Father and Child" not "brother and sister".

I dont know how i feel about "lex luthor sucks, this new less well known character is secretly the smart one in the family" thing that she's talking about. I dont have much emotional attachment to Lex (look, he's either a Boring Capitalist, or a Boring Social Darwinist. neither is interesting, but I consider his lack of interesting sort of a virtue? Both because of the banality of evil, and because it means he cant upstage Supes the way Joker always upstages Bats). But im gonna guess that the "im totally better then my big brother" thing is more of an unreliable narrator thing. So your plan was to make a monopoly on teenage enterntainment, then brainwash teens into complacency so that little kids have more to do? All you do is free up adults' time from lecturing Teens for Recklessness and doing the Unprotecteds, and ensure you now have double the parental supervision. Not a great plan. I'll give you one thing though, "snot-nosed brat with a mech"is a thousand times more engaging to watch then any version of Lex i've ever seen. Lena gets the green light.

--- This defeat makes me wonder... would a shrunken-down person require less voltage to die of a heart attack? Would it be proportional to the square/cube law? Oh she's a bumblebee, not a wasp.

Wait Lex and Lena have parents? That arent alive, and are in the story? Did not see that coming. Final nitpick, i dont like that "sweet just ice" sells baked goods and qui lime pie. It should just sell Ice and Ice Assessories. ---- Final wrapup. Though the existence of an icecreamshop-Batcave is insufficiently explained to justify its inclusion. And i hope that the show doesnt keep cheating Jess out of her moment (seriously, everyone else had a big "moment", Z cleaning up the mess with 1 spell. Wonderwoman being the badass, Batgirls analasys and Supergirl and Bumble defeating the Big Bot. I feel that Jess didnt have a moment) The show definitly has potential, and i look forward to watching more of it.