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peaches-of-1 · 5 years ago

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Day 10 | On Tip Toes

Black!Reader x Dad!Namjoon

An excited dark tan little human woke up to their own inner clock and looks around. Mama or Dad must’ve brought them in here after they fell asleep on the couch. Either way, the young girl knew what day it was and excitedly climbed down the pipe like ladder.

She had wanted them painted like the candles in the Kwanzaa display on the special table, but Mama had never gotten to it. Mama was a busy woman and--

Wait, what’s this? There was a camera in the corner of the room. Ah, them again. It was Christmas Day, so of course the aunties and uncles came to visit and set up the cameras while they slept. Sparkling white teeth showed off to the camera and a small hand waved before the roundest face in the world turned to see its only match.

She quickly used her tiny feet to walk towards a face similar to her’s and kneel on the step before the doorway beneath the dark gray sign that read “SANTA’S WORKSHOP” in English and tapped a shirt covered in candy patterns.

“별자리, Byeol-iiiii. Wake up! Our grown up friends are here.” She notified her twin sister just like any good sibling would. “And it’s Christmas.”

Hazel eyes suddenly sprung open, “Is it really Christmas?”

A stern nod before adorable yawns left 초승달’s mouth and soon two 3 year old bodies were fully awake to make a heart for the cameras like they usually did when are red carpets with their parents. Then they changed the date on their “color by day” calendar and began to hop around in their pajamas.

“It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” they were just as excitable as their parents for the holidays.

The two girls then opened their sliding door before holding hands and walking to their parents’ room down the hallway, knowing they were asleep but also oh so ready to wake them up to spend the day together.

However, they got distracted by the white lights that had fallen from the hallway as RapMon trotted beside them. The dog sat next to the wall and let the children enact their little plan before they continued on their way.

The uncle in the green tent decorated like a Christmas tree tried not to laugh too loud as he was the only one at the right angle to see this.

Dark skin and hair in a green bonnet was held closely by tan skin with dimpled cheeks that were even more noticeable as husband opened brown eyes when wife got wiggly. A parental Spidey Sense of sorts went off in both adults as she turned to face him.

“What time is it?” I asked in a groggy voice as a farewell to all the sleep I would’ve gotten if it were not for being a mother as well.

“Not yet. Pretend they’re still asleep for a few minutes, ok?” Large and protective hands enveloped slightly smaller ones and rubbed the back of them, the gentle touch almost willing slumber into his spouse’s eyes.

I suppressed a yawn before ignoring the door being opened by two giggling little elves. The door was always unlocked in case of emergency such as an early morning boo boo or a nightmare in the late evening. This was neither, thankfully. Simply two of the cutest little girls on the planet launching themselves onto Mama’s and Papa’s soft embrace.

The usual morning tradition of a four person hug and kisses for everyone ensued. Mom to Byeol, Byeol to Choseungdal, Choseungdal to Dad, and then Dad to mom before it reversed. Cross over and then the kids were excited and bouncing up and down once more.

“Mama, Papa! Mama! Papa! Guess what? Guess what?!” The twins said, jumping on the bed and claiming the hug of a parent for themselves.

“What is it?” Idol and father Kim Namjoon asked.

Byeol spoke up, “It’s Christmas morning! We get to open presents now, right?”

Choseungdal looked from her sister’s face to her father’s, “I really wanna open the big red one!”

I gasped in an overexaggerated way, “A gift before breakfast, isn’t our hug enough?”

“No.” She said, honestly.

“Fair enough.” I replied with a giggle while my husband laughed.

Then he spoke up, “Alright, let’s open a present then, shall we? One before breakfast and then we get all~ cleaned up to eat Mama’s yummy food, ok?”

“Ok!” They replied

“Wait, Choseungdal.” Byeol said, “We have to show Mama and Papa how we decorated RapMon this time.”

The parents blinked and shared a look. This time? They decorated him again? They literally pulled us into the living room to see the white fluffy dog sparkle with glittering Christmas lights. So that was what you heard in the middle of the night. You had decided to ignore it since you had believed it to be a sound from whatever dream you had been having.

And he was just there smiling like a goofball. Namjoon said that they shouldn’t do stuff like that because it could hurt the dog, and he was too nice to do anything about it. It was a light scolding and more of a teaching moment because no one wanted any sad faces on Christmas. As my husband and I unwrapped RapMon,, Byeol-ie decided to go around and greet all of the aunties and uncles.

They were in Christmas themed tents to help make the young kids more comfortable. The crew of The Return of Superman always came around every once in a while, and it was usually the same ones unless someone was sick or quit or got fired, y’know. Choseungdal had taken a liking to one unnie in particular.

She kissed Camera Unnie on the cheek to greet her while shyly waving to the others. The twins had gained personalities rather quickly according to the family counselor we went to see. Byeoljali...had a more outgoing personality and would often speak up for Choseungdal who was rather non verbal. I had a suspicion that she was like me, and so we were always extra clear in instruction and repeated stuff a lot to make it easier for her to understand.

Byeol was Byeoljali’s nickname. We named her as such since she had light hazel almost amber eyes. Choseungdal was often shortened to Cho-ie.

They were both cheeky sweethearts, though. Both girls enjoyed creative things, so the crafts room sometimes took over the living room. Currently, the girls were not allowed to use rhinestones because it had taken nearly a whole day to get all of them out of RapMon’s fur. The older dog understood that they were only little and they had apologized in the form of treats, so he wasn’t mad.

My two girls sat down after picking out which gift they wanted and I was there with my own camera to take pictures of them opening up their gifts. Luckily, they had similar hobbies, so gifts were easy.

“On three, start ripping them open.” I said. “Ask Dad for help if you need it.”

“Appa!” Cho-ie said. “Help me, please.”

He chuckled and went to sit in between them just in case. I counted to three, and the box opening began. Byeoljali began to open up the gift with raptor like swiftness while Cheoseungdal made sure it was unfolded properly with hardly any rips. Yep, we literally had a moon child. How could we not?

Our love for space and the unknown was mutual, and celestial names were so beautiful.

Cho-ie had gotten a collection of new canvases with a custom easel since the other one was missing a few pieces now. That’s why it was so big: the easel had been set up top of the canvases and already put together.

She hugged her dad and thanked us. Byeol had revealed a new set of paints that included glitter glue too. Maybe it wouldn’t get everywhere if they were in some sort of adhesive already...or it would be harder to get off of furniture. Only time would tell. She sprinted to hug my legs and then did grabby hands for the phone so she could record us.

She didn’t have the best hand-eye coordination or grasp, so I said that our darlings didn’t need to take pictures of us since we already had other adults to do it for us. I just didn’t want another broken phone. Namjoon had gotten us matching chokers that we would surely be wearing out today.

I hugged him and kissed him on his lips, excited to see his expression when he got his gift from me. He opened the bag and gasped, almost in tears as he lifted out the headphones he had been yearning over for the past four months. My husband has said he wouldn’t get them since he didn’t need them and they were too expensive anyways.

He hugged me tightly. Then it was time for coloring the picture of the day while I made breakfast. Namjoon had prepared some stuff last night while I helped get the kids to bed which made cooking much easier. In fact, he had finished making the entire fruit salad and it was wrapped in the fridge.

“Thank you, yeobo! That saves so much time!” I called over to him.

Namjoon just smiled, “It’s my pleasure. I was extra careful too, so no hurt fingers this time.”

I giggled and Christmas music played while I cooked and The Return of Superman got footage for their Holiday Special. My voice sang along as I filled pie crusts with a mix of rice, spinach, and cheese before sticking the first batch into the oven for ~18 minutes. Although he tried very hard, Namjoon-yeobo was still a bit of a hazard in the kitchen. He mixed things very well, though.

Like the vegetables that would become part of our omelettes. I still wasn’t a big fan of omelettes, so I would just be making three for my husband and kids. Also, I knew two of the crew didn’t eat eggs. So a total of five. I glanced over into the living room and saw him handing the girls whatever color they asked for.

Every time he got it wrong, he would say, “I’m sorry, my princess.” and then give them the right one eventually. He soon came over to show me a pictue of our girls in front of their finished mini Christmas tree in their playroom. He took it yesterday and forgot to show me.

It was so cute. All of the eggs were done, so you cut two of them in half as soon as the timer went off for the breakfast pockets. I gave them a quick call to ask if they washed their hands after coloring. The three looked at each other and ran to the bathroom as I set up the plates and washed my own hands.

I looked at the camera people who were in tents, “What are you waiting for? I didn’t make this much food just for the four of us. Use the one in the guest bedroom.”

They were so surprised and decided to take turns to make sure at least two were recording while the others ate. However, they were family at this point and this was a family breakfast. All of them were to sit at the table and enjoy the homemade meal.

I told them that if their boss had a problem, they could bring it up to me directly. I was a child of four, so I knew how to make a lot of food in a short amount of time and still have it taste good. I had even made a few pockets without cheese because a few were lactose intolerant.

Then everyone was ready to dig in. Namjoon made sure that the two elven twinsies thanked me for the meal before eating. It was a very warm breakfast. It was lots of chatter but still quiet and kind. Choseungdal made sure to feed Camera Unnie a few times, getting a thank you in return. Then it was time for me to clean up while my love got the girls cleaned up, getting them to brush their teeth and all that jazz.

The camera people went back into their tents while one stood in the bathroom doorway to record.

Since Joon was an idol, he was usually very busy doing TV shows and making music and all that stuff. So, he got to spend most of the time directly helping the kids on his days off.

Once the dishes were in the dishwasher (the first Christmas gift we bought together) and Cho-ie was in her little Christmas dress, I started on making the cookie dough with the mini sous chef. Both Byeoljali and Cheoseungdal were adamant about bringing cookies to Taehyung’s holiday party. He and his huge family held one every single year, and we always attended.

My apple cake was always a hit, so I was bringing that. However, the kids wanted to do something too. I was glad to have the extra help in making cookies. It was a good distraction while Namjoon got ready first. He’d do their hair and pack up the cookies when it was my turn. The apple cake was a family recipe from this cookbook we’ve had since forever. I was stumped five years ago as to what to make since I had been bringing boozy eggnog the last couple of years before everyone started having kids.

Ever since then, I’d make two cakes just so we would have enough. Namjoon always bought eggnog or vanilla ice cream to go along with it. Every year had a theme, and this time it was pearls. I had found the perfect skirt for it and was able to get two of them. The second one were made into child versions for the young ones if they wanted.

“I’m gonna decorate this one all by myself.” Choseungdal said, grabbing the white makeshift piping bag and adding “snow” to the already frosted Christmas tree.

Byeol was decorating a snowman with edible glitter before Namjoon came in to swap places in the kid duty.

“Why don’t we let Mama finish up the rest of these so she can take a shower?” He said and the kids agreed, getting tired of decorating but not eating as the kitchen smelled of butterscotch and chocolate with a hint of gingerbread.

So, I finished up the rest of the cookies and was able to decorate them after they cooled and surprised them with an extra cookie for them each before heading into the shower to get all dolled up. I loved matching with my family so much! It was something we did often.

Namjoon had put on his black pants with pearls scattered about the legs and green oxfords with pearls in the heels. Pearls also lined his black velvet jacket that went over his green sweater. He put on the more simple looking choker out of the set he had just watched me unwrap meaning I got the bowtie one. He was also wearing his red beanie because he knew how much I loved him in it with a simple pair of gold and pearl drop earrings.

I was in my black skirt that reached just above my ankles with my red sweater tucked into it but outside of the green stockings I slipped on to make walking in my pearl adorned red ankle boots easier. With the pearl and bowtie choker, I put on pearl and chain dangle earrings. I decided to wear a green beret as well.

“Don’t forget this, Mama!” It’s the gift me and Choseungdal got you.

“Oh, really? Thank you~” I said and opened the box, smiling when I saw it was a classic Pandora bracelet.

My hazel eyed girl said, “We helped Dad pick out the charms to go on it.”

Then we turned to our kids and asked them what we did most every day, “Who do you want to dress like, Mommy or Daddy?” which basically was asking if they wanted to dress more masculinely or femininely. I was a girly girl most of the time and Joon-ie was more laid back but still well dressed as most Korean men seemed to be.

Choseungdal pointed to her father while Byeol pointed to me. That was that then. Namjoon helped our little girl into matching pearl pants and jacket with a green knitted sweater underneath while I helped our other little girl into her skirt and stockings with a red sweater that was covered in pom poms that were used to make hearts all about the top. Then we helped put them each into pearl studs that they had worn before.

Namjoon did their hair while I finished up my makeup and we double checked to make sure RapMon was ready to come with. He was by the door waiting for his leash like a good doggo.

“Good boy.” I said and rubbed his head.

The five of us hopped into the car, singing Christmas carols and watching Papa Joon get shy every time a song he sang with the other BTS uncles came on. Sometimes he’ll say which ones he helped to right and we’d talk about that while he two Christmas fairies played make believe in the back seat.

“Hiiii!” I said with two apple cakes in my arms while The two youngest ones held boxes of cookies.

Hugs upon hugs and bows galore occurred while talking overlapped in the forms of greetings and barking. J-Hope’s husband helped me take the cakes to the kitchen while Jin called for the host and his wife.

The children played with their friends while I was handed some sparkling cider by Yoongi, whose facial hair scratched my cheek a little as he hugged me.

“Long time no see.” He said.

“Oh my god! You’re back from America? Since when?” I gasped.

“Two days ago. I wanted to surprise you guys.”

Namjoon chuckled, “Well, it worked. I’m surprised.” and hugged his dear friend tightly.

He had been working on a bunch of stuff in America for the past couple of years and usually sent gifts for the holidays. A young man with raven black hair and pale skin approached both me and Namjoon and bowed.

“It is nice to see you in person, uncle Namjoon and auntie Y/N. Father has told me a lot about you two.” He had to be about 13 and…

I gasped and looked at Yoongi and back to the kid, “You can’t be 시우. The 시우 I know is this tall, and you’re a whole tree.” I put my hand near my hip.

He giggled nearly at eye level with me, “I am 시우.”

“Oh my gosh~” I beamed. “Well, it’s nice to see you again. What have you been up to? How’s school and your hobbies?”

“I got in a bit of trouble recently, but school is going well. I kept skipping one of my classes since the teacher is super ignorant. He is my history teacher and tried to incorrectly explain the Joseon area to me. I always show up for test days, though.”

Namjoon chuckled, “It seems that righteous rebellion doesn’t fall far from the tree.” and took a sip of his own cider.

Siu chuckled, “I have to choose an extra elective to do outside of school if I don’t want to be suspended, but I’m not really a creative guy.” he pulled at his ear like Yoongi did when nervous.

His father spoke up, “Your auntie here is a pretty famous actress.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t say famous.” I replied, my cheeks getting warm.

“Would you suggest I take acting? It is the only one I have seriously been thinking of doing.” Siu looked up at me with his deep blue eyes that he got from his nameless mother.

I had to nod, of course, “Stage acting is a very good skill to have. Although you’re not lacking any confidence, it can help you feel a bit more comfortable in public spaces. Keeps you accountable too. You have to learn your lines or you let the cast down. More importantly, it is a lot of fun.”

He nodded. Namjoon kissed my cheek and said he was going to check on the kids while I continued my conversation with the young teen. I enjoyed telling my theatre stories, but I am sure Joon was tired of hearing them over and over again.

Namjoon walked into a curious scene of nearly 10 children sacrificing his moonchild who was tied up with a jumprope to the side of a bookcase like contraption. He could just stare at the kids in various wigs and holiday clothing reenacting something.

Hoseok entered asking, “Why did it suddenly get so qui--”

Taehyung’s second youngest child came in with a bucket of water which Namjoon scooped out of their hands rather quickly, too in shock to say anything.

“What’s going on?” Hobi asked instead.

“Daaaaddd, we’re reenacting Uncle TaeTae’s TV show.” A darling little kid with blonde pigtails reached for the bucket of water. “We need the water to splash on Choseungdal’s faaaceeee. It’s her punishment for fighting on sacred ground.”

The brown haired father shook his head and Namjoon silently walked back to the bathroom to pour the water out while his hyung told the children to use fake water and their imagination instead of real water and to make sure the jump rope wasn’t too tight.

Not exactly the type of parenting the dirty blonde man was hoping for, but as long as they were safe, it was ok. He then recorded the children’s antics for a while to show Taehyung.

Although, it was another Hwarang member that he saw kissing his wife on the cheek.. Do Jihan and her had won favorite TV Couple nearly every year for the past 10, even that time he played a stalker. So the three knew each other well.

“Jihan-hyung, it is nice to see you again.” Joon slapped his friend’s back, making his wife giggle at the facial reaction.

“Ah, yes. Ouch. I’m doing well.”

Y/N giggled, her teeth like marshmallows on top of hot chocolate and Namjoon wanting to sip every last drop of her. Taehyung lifted her up and spun her around all of a sudden.

“You guys are here! I’m so sorry it took me so long to come see you. I was finishing up something for my daughter.” and then set his friend’s wife down.

She kissed him and his wife on the cheek before they hugged Namjoon. The older man had hopped things wouldn’t be as awkward this year since Tae was married to Joon’s ex girlfriend, but she was an awkward girl. She wasn’t sure if it was ok to hug him or if it was better to bow or just shake hands.

“지현,” I begged, “Please, just hug him or bow. It’s not that deep, fam.”

The three men laughed at how straightforward I was. It was like this every year since Tae got together with Jihyeon, and I was sick of it. I could not care less that she was an ex to my husband.

Jihan put his arm on one of my shoulders, “That is why you are my favorite co-worker.”

I laughed and asked how the kids were doing, not expecting my husband to show me and the others our kids playing “Hwarang” since the youngest ones were now learning how to read and Tae’s children were natural thespians.

“I need to sit down.” I said as soon as it was time to open presents.

The cookies and the cake were hits, and I had my fill of the food that was there. Gifts and friends were amazing. Whatever troubles we had been having throughout the year and were still probably were going on could wait until next year a week from now. Right now, it was time for an outing to the park for the boys’ performance.

It was a medley of all the title tracks they had done throughout the years with the last one being done by the kids that weren’t too grumpy. The boys were idols after all, not even fully disbanding or retiring, just not performing as often as a group.

Jungkook and Jimin with their spouses revealed that they were going to have their first children soon. Jin’s 10 year old asked if she could name the baby, making everyone laugh before it was time to pack everyone up into cars and head to the park.

Namjoon squeezed my hand, “Our kids will be fine. You will do a great job, and I will be there to help you as soon as possible.”

I nodded and he kissed me before going off to perform for his fans. Some older than me and some younger. I was there with the other spouses talking and momentarily checking on the kids who were being watched by the older children. Siu was the second oldest to Jin’s triplets, two girls and one guy who made 14 this year.

When the boys were on stage, it felt like I was 20 again, staying up late nights to watch them on award shows and festivals in the states due to the 15 hour time difference. Sometimes it was like that even when Namjoon and I were dating.

Now I was much older with two of his kids, Cho-ie sleeping on my shoulder and Byeol-ie in my lap. They would wake up soon because this song was their song.

“To my children” Suga and Namjoon said.

“Yeah.”

“To my stars and my moon. To my children.” Namjoon continued.

“Yeah.”

“I hope that I’ll see you soon. Your dad loves you no matter how far away and every time I look up at the sky I know you’re looking at the same one, same sun, same moon, same star, same love. Love you. Be home soon, ya don’t give mom too much trouble.”

He wrote a song years ago that was a B-side that got more popular than the title tracks. By that time, Jin already had his kids. Hobi and his husband had adopted their first child. Yoongi was back in the states for this comeback while 11 year old Siu was being raised by his nanny for a bit since the mom left after stealing several things and dumping the child on him.

서준, 민서, and 윤서 said that the children were ready for the stage and got the point choreo down as good as possible. My little elves woke up and yawned, ready to show off their skills. Both of them had gone after the microphone and the paintbrush on their first birthday, and it was no surprise that fate had decided they would be in the arts.

Choseungdal said in her small voice, “I don’t wanna dance today.”

“It’s ok. Do you still wanna go on stage, though?”

She nodded and held onto me as we brought 13 kids on stage to help close out the holiday concert in the park. Everyone went wild as several of them had on noise cancelling headphones since they couldn’t keep their eyes open so long.

The others danced and sang along with their dads having a grand old time. Byeol-ie ended up being carried by Namjoon while I had Cho-ie in my arms. Looking out at all the faces that loved my husband and their father, I recognized a few who had been with them since the beginning. They had kids too now.

In the car ride back home, our little elves had tinkered themselves out and were fast asleep with RapMon by their feet. I was exhausted as well, knowing the crew of The Return to Superman crew would be back tomorrow for Kwanzaa and the cameras would still be there.

Namjoon took one hand off of the wheel to hold my hand, causing my attention to turn from the hypnotizing city lights that passed by to the comforting fingers rubbing the back of my hand.

“Thank you so much for being the mother to my children. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.”

I smiled and kissed his hand, making him smile and scrunch his nose, “Merry Christmas, yeobo.”

He giggled, “Merry Christmas, yeobo.”

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thebarefootking · 5 years ago

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Food

As with many autistic people, my childhood was rife with battles at the dinner table over what I would and would not eat. (Or, in my case, the bar. Our trailer didn't have a dinner table, per se, and I ate on a tall chair in the kitchen, facing across the bar toward the living room TV, while my parents sat on the couch.) Some foods were fan favorites, some I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot fork. Tomatoes, I hated (and still hate!) One of my earliest memories is of a preschool teacher, so much bigger than me, coming up behind while I picked at my food.

"Don't you like tomatoes?"

"No. They're gross."

"Have you ever tried a tomato?"

"No. They smell bad and they're mushy."

"Well how do you know you don't like it, if you haven't tasted it?" she asked, ignoring the fact I'd just told her. "Try it. For me?"

"I don't wanna."

"Just one bite?"

"I don't. wanna."

"You need to try the tomato."

Of course, when I finally gave in to her badgering, I 'learned' what had already been apparent to me: tomatoes were gross.

Some foods, more interestingly, were one-day delights, preferred a couple times and then hated thereafter. Eggs, for example, were always a trial. A nice scramble was always accepted, at least for my youngest years, until I learned more about where eggs came from. After that, I swore I could taste the chicken embryos, and I didn't eat eggs for a good, long while. When I repented of my folly, fried eggs were the dish of the day, but only one way: cooked hard, with the yolk unbroken. That way, I could peel the egg white away and eat it, and leave the whole yolk on my plate to be disposed of or, more frequently, eaten by one of my parents.

For those of you who cook, you may know that this is a particularly difficult way to prepare eggs. Either the yolks stay runny and burst on the plate (bad), or they burst in the pan from heat and overhandling, and mingle inextricably with the white (worse). Dad claims it took him months of practice to figure out how to do it, and years to get really good… by which time I'd gone off eggs again, preferring a sweeter breakfast (probably for the energy boost it gave me. By the time 4th-6th grades rolled around, school was causing me to work up an intense appetite.)

Although I didn't have a very broad spectrum of preferred tastes, that didn't stop me wanting to experiment in the kitchen. Indeed, it was one of my favorite things to do! Unfortunately, I could rarely get an adult to allow it (partly because we, in our poverty, could not afford to waste ingredients. Partly because, again, due to poverty, everyone was just too damn exhausted to supervise something that potentially dangerous.) Instead, I usually ended up sneaking and doing it on my own, which invariably led to trauma of one kind or another.

One incident occurred one of the very first times my parents dubbed me old enough to stay home on my own while they went out to run errands. Having recently seen a news spot on dyed salt for those seeking to reduce their salt intake, I sought to replicate the stuff in my own kitchen. How hard could it be? I thought. Just add food coloring to salt.

Only, food coloring has water in it.

All the salt (and I do mean all the salt in the house) was now a dark blue-green color, and the texture of wet sand. I needed to dry it out! But I wasn't allowed to use the oven or stove unsupervised. What could I do?

I decided the best option was to microwave the salt. I spread it out on a large plate, and nuked it in batches until all the salt was dry. Unfortunately, for the first batch, I failed to realise how VERY FUCKING HOT the plate would be after several minutes spinning away in the microwave. I pulled it out barehanded, screeched in pain, and tossed the Perry-the-Platypus-colored salt all over the kitchen floor and microwave cabinet.

Not good. I was already beginning to worry about what my parents would think about all this business with the salt. Now I had a mess on my hands to boot. I tended to my (thankfully minor) burns, and then began swabbing the floor and cabinet with damp paper towels...

… which spread the food dye EVERYWHERE. Now the salt was teal, the floor was teal, the cabinet was teal, and I was teal.

And I had no idea when my parents would return!

I cleaned frantically, microwaving salt on the side the entire time. And somehow (perhaps Lot's wife was smiling upon me?) I got it all managed. My parents came home to a nice, clean kitchen (if you didn't see the small blue spots in the crevices at the very edge of one cabinet), and a calm, collected child (also slightly spotted, but only on the palms, easily hidden). Nothing of note occurred until dinner time.

"LAUREN!!"

Apparently, Dad did not like that all of his salt was turned 'blue'. My reasoning appeased his anger, but he was still pretty displeased. I was temporarily banned from using the microwave without permission. And they were far more cautious about leaving me alone, after that.

(These days, Dad frequently apologises for this. He says it was a creative and thoughtful act, and he shouldn't have gotten mad. I agree, but I'm also not mad anymore. The whole thing is rather funny in retrospect.)

A much more traumatic food event, much later, but still involving the microwave, was the first time I tried making microwave mac 'n cheese. It was around the inception of Easy Mac, so the idea was quite novel; it wasn't as if I had a backlog of knowledge on what not to do…

I followed the instructions exactly, with the single differing point of adding some dried parsley before cooking.

AND LET ME TELL YOU.

If you are going to add parsley to your Easy Mac, do it after cooking! Cooking amplifies and alters the flavor so that it tastes like you added some sort of cooked leafy vegetable, like spinach, except somewhat more like an inedible plant. The flavor permeates every nook and noodle, and even the cheese sauce can't mask it.

It was inedible. Beyond inedible; it was sensory overload of the worst kind.

And my parents, who had watched the whole thing, and warned me of putting anything in my food that I didn't 100% know would taste good, made me eat it.

At first, there was a screaming match, until I wore myself out with tears and begging. Then, I just sat there, defeated, thinking of ways I could get out of eating it. Maybe if I intentionally get choked on the food? Maybe if I shatter the glass of the coffee table, and then hurt myself with it? Something to make them care about something other than me eating this food. Anything to make them see how much eating the food was bad and wrong and how much it hurt me.

I was never, in my entire childhood, a willfully disobedient child. Well, small things, here or there, a child's innocent inability to self-regulate their impulses or understand the rules. Never did I knowingly and intentionally go against my parents' commands when I now feel like I had another real choice. But there were times, like these, when I didn't have a choice.

I ate three bites before my body rebelled and I threw up. Mom didn't follow through on her threat to make me eat the vomit and finish the food.

Instead, I got grounded for two weeks.

Incidentally, I've never gotten an apology for this little incident, despite it being the one I'm still angry over.

None of this is to say I was too picky to be fed, or that I ever went without (excepting that one night with the poison mac). If anything, I ate more than plenty in an attempt to offset the lacks in nutrition my pickiness inevitably led to. I'm sure that I was malnourished at times, despite eating more than my necessary share of calories.

And boy, was I aware of what that share was! My parents were and are avid yo-yo dieters, always on one plan or another to lose the weight they gained off a diet of poverty foods. All the while, frustrated by my pickiness, they fed me on breakfasts of whole packages of off-brand cinnamon rolls or apple turnovers. My lunch was usually whatever snack-foods I could convince the lunch ladies to sell me for the same price as a school lunch I wouldn't eat. With both parents either busy or exhausted, dinner was Taco Bell nearly every damn weekday.

It was inevitable that I would gain weight, with the genes, environment, and diet all inclined toward it. I was ten or eleven the first time my parents mentioned including me in one of their diet plans.

Not likely, I thought. I had long since decided that healthy food was gross, like school lunches and boiled vegetables and limp salads. And I wouldn't, couldn't cut my portions; not when I had to stay alert and concentrating while hauling all my books all around the school without a bookbag (which, after the Columbine shooting, had been banned at my school, lest we ten-year-olds have a place to conceal a weapon). I was already battling undiagnosed ADHD. I didn't need low blood sugar on top of it.

Still, if it gave them an incentive to buy more fresh fruit, I wasn't going to complain.

(And I didn't complain at all about any of their diets, until the one that consisted almost exclusively of boiled cabbage soup that stank the house to high heaven. I didn't even entertain joining them on that one.)

What it all added up to, though, was someone who, by the age of eleven, already had enormous issues with food and body image. And diet, for that matter, for we still hadn't found a healthy variety of foods that I would eat. By the time I was in high school, I was eating Cheetos and Little Debbies with Mountain Dew for lunch every weekday except Wednesday (chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes day in the cafeteria! Hell yeah!) I was also being (mildly) bullied for my weight.

Adulthood came after, with blessings and curses. When I moved out on my own, I had more opportunity (and income!) to explore what I liked culinarily. I got to employ the whole backlog of tips and tricks from cooking shows that I had watched for years. (At one point, during high school, I had wanted to become a chef. I gave up the idea when I realised how ill-suited I was to the job, but the education of the time stuck with me.)

I got to learn my favorite ways to cook food (pan fried, not baked. Baking unseasoned meat is not 'cooking', Dad.) I got to play with spices and flavors.

Or, I did for a while.

Very soon, my work at McDonald's caught up with me, and I found myself too tired to do much cooking. (Sorry, Dad! I understand, now!) More and more, my meals were eaten at work, from work. Over the next year, my stress increased, and my eating habits faltered along. And then, I began passing out at work.

Now, I needn't tell you this is a very dangerous situation, what with all the hot oil and ovens and lamps and such in a kitchen. I was sent home more than once, and it was becoming a danger not only to me, but to the state of my employment. I got in with a doctor as soon as I possibly could, and they determined that I had iron deficiency anemia.

No one was particularly surprised. I have a family history of the affliction, and I had basically been living off yogurt cups, Sausage Egg McMuffins, and chicken biscuits with cheese for months. My doctor suggested diet changes and high-dose iron supplements.

(One of these two turned my poop to black sin slime from a hell portal in my bowels. It was not the diet.)

Immediately, I switched over to a high-iron, high-protein, low-carb diet. And you know what? I felt fucking fantastic. I had energy for days, my mental acuity was improved, and my mood was better. I fell asleep faster and slept more soundly.

For three months, I kept it up. But then the financial burden became too much. Turns out, it's damn expensive to eat home-cooked meat every day when you're picky as hell. I was easily spending at least two to three times as much as I was when I was eating only fast food (on employee discount, admittedly). And soon, between the stress, the financial concerns, and my health problems, I had to move back in with my parents.

Honestly, I still haven't found peace with food and its place in my life. Coming to accept what my sensory needs mean for me has been difficult, and working around those needs in a productive way has been nearly impossible, especially with my other disabilities in tow. I feel that I'm learning to be kinder to my body emotionally speaking, but I could still be much kinder to it physically.

If only I could figure out how.

I wish I could be that little kid who loved experimenting in the kitchen, again. But I'm not, and I can't. So I'll have to find another way to take care of me.

#a year of writing #01062020 #self harm #school shooting mention #diet talk #child abuse #vomit tw #medical stuff #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #long post #this one's kind of long and disjointed #sorry for that lol #and lots of warnings on this one!

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cozykhaos · 5 years ago

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A New Sun Part 8

Waking up the next morning with a pile of puppies cuddled up around me was the best feeling in the world. All of them perked up when I got out of bed and when the food bowl hit the floor, all of them did too. I would go into town today and post a bulletin about the other pups. After changing and breakfast we all went outside. I checked the soil of my crops, the ground still wet from yesterdays rain, I skipped out on watering. I would check it again in the afternoon. I used my scythe to clear the weeds to the forest, for a more defined path. I started a pile of stones and branches near the house. I would need both for any upgrades I would want to make.

I was the afternoon when I heard the engine from the truck. I started back to the house, the pups standing on the porch, all at attention. Robin and Sebastian got out of the pickup. “Puppies!” Robin’s face lit up. The pups came running down the steps and bounced around her feet. Robin crouched down and let them lick her face. Sebastian stepped around the truck, looking grumpy, hair disheveled.

“Sorry we are coming over so late, I didn’t want to wake up Sebby. He was up late last night working,” Robin said standing.

“It’s no problem. I actually forgot you were coming by today,” I let out a little laugh and scratched the back of my head. Noticing Sebastian, the puppies bounced over to him, Asher’s gray twin reached up to Sebastian, who picked her up. Robin looked between the puppy and Sebastian, who was now holding the dog like a baby and scratching her stomach. She smiled.

“Well, should we get this fence put up?” Robin clapped her hands together. Between the three of us it didn’t take long to get the fence assembled and put up. Robin had given me plenty of room to expand my crops as well. Once we were finished, we sat on the front porch, drinking lemonade and eating sandwiches that I had made.

“Sorry it isn’t much,” I refilled my glass. “It’s a small kitchen and it’s a pain in the ass to cook in.”

“House upgrade,” Robin sang.

“Mom,” Sebastian groaned.

“I’m just saying, the place is very small. And what are you going to do when you get married?” Robin asked. Sebastian started choking. “Sebby, what’s the matter?” Robin started patting his back.

“Nothing I’m fine!” He snapped and waved her hand away. Robin frowned and then looked at me.

“I’ve actually been thinking about it. But I also need a chicken coop and a barn. Thankfully most of this season’s crops are being sold. The only vegetables I really like that I’m growing are potatoes and green beans. And it’s just me so I don’t need a whole lot.” I shrugged. I had brought out a notebook and pen with me and I started my bulletin. I looked at the puppies when I was done. Ash was playing with two of his siblings, wrestling in the dust. The all black puppy slept by the door. The gray pup slept next to Sebastian, her head on his leg. I frowned, it had only been a day, but I was attached to the little guys. But they would at least still be in the Valley with me.

“I need to go put this on the bulletin board, I’ll be right back,” I stood, Ash got to his feet and watched me. “Are you coming?” I asked him.

“I am,” Robin stood and stretched. “I need to get a few things from Pierre’s. Do you need anything?” She looked at Sebastian.

“I’m good, but thanks,” Sebastian waved us off. Asher followed us into town. Feeding all 5 dogs I would need another bag of food from Pierre’s as well. I posted up my notice, letting everyone know to come see me if they were interested in a puppy and describing each of them and the genders. I made a note that if you adopted a puppy to cross it off that way others would know it was taken.

Robin stared at the page and took up the pen that was attached to the board and crossed off the gray puppy. She beamed at me and pushed into Pierre’s. I showed her the dog food that I was feeding them and grabbed another bag for myself. After purchasing toys, collar, treats and a leash we went to check out.

“More stuff?” Pierre asked.

“More puppies,” I corrected.

“Oh my!” Pierre’s eyebrows shot up into his hair line. Robin put her elbows on the counter and leaned in. “I’m getting one for Sebastian,” she smiled.

“Oh,” Pierre’s face fell and then quickly caught himself. “Oh! I’m sure he will love that!” He cleared his throat.

“I think so,” I nodded. “One of them has been really attached to him.”

“I think it’ll be good for him,” Robin agreed. We payed for our stuff and left. I helped Robin carry her stuff back to the farm. Sebastian was still sitting on the porch, now the puppy was in one of his arms, chin on his shoulder, while he scrolled through his phone. He looked up when the other dogs came running. His brows scrunched together when he noticed his mom.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Stuff for pup dog,” Robin replied with a shrug.

“Wh…what?” Sebastian stood still holding the dog. “Really?”

“Yeah!” She tossed the dog food into the back of the truck.

“What about Demetrius?” Sebastian’s tone went sour.

“What about him?” Robin didn’t look at him. “She’s your dog, not his.”

Sebastian stared at his mom in shock, mouth slightly open. Puppy licked his chin and he closed it.

“She will be your responsibility, feeding, playing, walking, cleaning up after her,” Robin ticked off the list on her fingers.

“Yeah, of course!” Sebastian nodded.

“Alright, well let’s get her home!”

Sebastian smiled at me over his shoulder before getting into the truck.

The rest of the week went by in a blur. Lewis, Eveyln and Haylee came by on Monday and gave me packets of tulips and blue jazz that they wanted me to plant for the flower festival. I still had time to plant them, so I kept them to the side for now. Lewis ended up leaving with the all black puppy that day, declaring her Pepper.

Tuesday, Sam and his little brother Vincent came by, their mother had agreed on letting them get a dog. They took the black dog with the one white spot over his eye. Later, I find out that Sam named Gnarles Barkley. Barkley for short.

Late Thursday Morning Shane came over, I was just finishing up with the days harvest, when he stood awkwardly at the edge of the property.

“Morning!” I waved to him. He gave a short wave back. There were dark circles under his blue eyes. “Can I help you with something?”

“I was wondering about the last dog you have,” he said. I looked over my shoulder where the black and gray bearded pup lay on his back, sun bathing in the dirt. “Jas, that’s my niece, she was furious with Marnie when she found out she gave a puppy away,” he scratched the back of his neck. “She’s usually a quite little thing. But she was spitting fire.”

“I can imagine,” I nodded.

“And now Vincent has one..” his voice trailed off as he moved next to me. The pup rolled over and popped up on to his feet. Ash bounded over to us, I picked him up. He had already grown in the last week. Shane, pushed his finger to the dog’s upper lip exposing the baby teeth. The pup stuck out his tongue, licking Shane’s finger, a small smile broke through.

“I’m going to call him Gandalf, because of the gray beard. Do you think Jas will be able to say that?” He looked at me. His eyes were kind.

“How old is she?”

“Six.”

“She should be,” I nodded.

“Yeah,” Shane played with Gandalf’s soft floppy ears before clearing his throat. “I should get going. Marnie was getting supplies from Pierre’s she should be done by now.”

“If you need anything let me know. He should be potty trained by now.”

“Yeah, okay thanks,” with a small wave Shane disappeared back into town.

I looked down at Ash who was watching Shane retreat. He whimpered. “It’s okay bud, we can have everyone over for a play date,” I said to him. His tail wagged.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Egg Festival, but my heart leapt for joy at the sight of the many buffet tables. My eating habits had not been the best since moving to Pelican Town and the soft layer around my tummy was slowly disappearing. I generally only ate once a day now, eating breakfast after tending the farm. The rest of my day was spent running errands, fishing or scavenging for wild crops. By the time I got home I would be exhausted and collapse into bed with Asher.

I bee lined it to the first table, there were platters of egg dishes. Deviled eggs, scrambled, fried, hard boiled, poached, egg benedict, egg salad. Little breaded cups that looked to be filled with egg, spinach and ham. Plates of steaming sliced ham that smelled of cinnamon and honey were my first stop. I filled my plate before finding a bench. I would have to remember to ask Gus for a piece of leftover ham for Ash, who I left at home. I looked around, everyone was mingling. Eating with their friends and family. Haylee was taking pictures of everyone and everything. I smiled, I hadn’t interacted with her much, since I had returned, but I admired her passion for photography.

“Kit!” Robin called me from a few tables over and waved. She was sitting with her family, as well as Sam, his mom and little brother. “Come over here!”

I swallowed my mouthful of food before moving over to their table, taking the end seat across from Sam.

“What were you doing over there by yourself?” Robin asked.

“I didn’t want to be a bother,” I shrugged and then shoveled in a mouthful of potato salad. It was sweet and had a hint of vinegar in it.

“Oh please,” Jodi said with a smile.

“You’ll always be a bother,” Sam said with a smirk.

“Sam!” Jodi snapped, reached over her youngest son and slapped Sam on the back of the head.

“Ow!” Sam rubbed his head.

“Don’t be rude!” Jodi said through gritted teeth. I smiled and shook my head. “I would like to say I am used to it, but I don’t think that would help.”

“It wouldn’t!” Sam shook his head.

“So, Kit, how is the farm doing?” Demetrius asked.

“Honey, we aren’t here to talk about work,” Robin said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Across from her Sebastian had his chin resting on his fist, leg tapping furiously. Next to him was Maru who was looking at me expectantly, I hadn’t spoken to her much either.

I cleared my throat. “Oh, it’s fine, I don’t have much to talk about any ways. My world revolves around farming and Ash.”

Sebastian looked over at me. “You didn’t bring him either?”

I noticed for the first time no one had brought their dog besides Marnie, Gandalf was chasing Jas around the yard behind Sam’s house.

“Asher gets really excited about food. Like he can’t contain himself, so I thought it best to have him stay home. Or else he would probably be slip and sliding through the egg salad right now,” I sighed. Sebastian snorted.

“I know it’s late and the seeds are hard to find, but do you think you will be getting in Strawberry seeds?” Maru asked.

“Strawberries are our favorite,” Demetrius beamed.

“Yeah, if I can find the seeds!” I nodded. “The farm is actually doing well. You can walk around now, and I finally got around to cleaning the inside. It’s hard work but I enjoy it.”

“Hmm,” Demetrius glanced at Sebastian and drummed his fingers on the table. “Some people will never know what that is like.”

“Oooookay,” Sebastian said standing. “I’m going to go check on Asha.”

My mouth dropped open, shocked at the name he had picked. I didn’t have time to speak, Sebastian was already leaving.

Robin frowned at his retreating form, she quickly hid it with a smile. “Well, I’m glad you are enjoying it.”

“I know I could never do that work,” Jodi said, she was now running her fingers through Vincent’s unruly ginger hair.

“I wasn’t so sure at first. I’m positive if it wasn’t for visiting grandpa during the summer, I would have ended up going back to the city,” I said.

“I don’t think I would mind it too much,” Sam shrugged. “I could see myself taking care of some chickens. Planting crops.”

“I know I couldn’t do it,” Maru shook her head. “I will stick to my lab thank you.”

“Lab?” I looked at her.

“Yes, I’m a scientist and inventor!” Maru smiled. “I also work with Harvey at the clinic.”

“Wow, that’s pretty cool. Weird question, but I’m going to ask. I found some blue prints for sprinklers. I know that is probably nothing to you. But will yo-“

“Yes, I would love to help!” Maru grabbed my hands. I noticed behind her Demetrius’s eyes narrowed, while Robin’s face broke open into a smile. “That sounds like fun. I haven’t made sprinklers before, but I’m sure it’ll be cake!”

“Thanks, that would be a huge help!” I squeezed her hands.

“Mom, is there cake?” Vincent finally spoke, he had been pushing around the food on his plate the entire time. He had only eaten a couple of grapes.

“It looks like it, but you will need to eat more lunch first,” Jodi kissed the top of his head.

“I don’t want to be slow for the hunt,” Vincent said.

“Yeah, this year we are going to beat Abbie, isn’t that right kiddo!” Sam playfully shoved his little brother who looked up at him and smiled.

“Yeah!” Vincent nodded vigorously.

“Hunt?” I looked at everyone’s faces.

“There is an egg hunt every year,” Robin said.

“And every year Abbie wins!” Vincent bagged his fist on the table and huffed. I looked around for my purple haired friend. She was at a table with her parents, head on her palm, looking at an empty plate of food.

“They really shouldn’t let her search. She is a grown woman now,” Jodi sighed.

“It’s open to all ages,” Robin shrugged.

“Or make age events,” I said.

“That’s a good idea,” Demetrius nodded.

“Maybe mention that to Lewis,” Robin said to Jodi.

“Trust me, I am!” Jodi said. I noticed Gus bringing out new plates and unveiling chocolate frosted cupcakes. I excused myself and made it over to the table. I was stuffing one in my mouth when Pam made her way over and started to empty a flask into the punch. She held up a finger to her lips. I looked away, a smile spreading. Gus gave me permission to take some ham home to Ash then handed me a plate that was stacked up in food and wrapped in tin foil. “Do you know Linus?” He asked.

“The guy who lives behind Robin’s house?” I questioned taking the plate.

“That’s him,” Gus nodded then stroked his mustache. “He rarely comes to any of these events. He is always welcome, but I know he feels out of place. Do you mind taking him this plate for me?”

“Not at all!” I exclaimed and headed towards the mountains.

Linus was sitting at his campfire, a basket of wild plants next to him. He sat up straighter when he saw me, his eyes narrowing into a squint.

“Hey, I’m Kit,” I said with a small wave. “I took over my grandpa’s farm.” I shoved a thumb over my shoulder, in the direction of the farm. Linus didn’t say anything. I cleared my throat. “Any ways, Gus asked me to bring you this.” I sat the plate down on the stump he had pulled up to the other side of the fire. He glanced at the plate before looking back at me. I frowned, looking at him, to the tent, then the plate. His gray eyes never left my face.

“I guess I’ll be going, enjoy your day!” My customer service voice tuned in and I wanted to kick myself. I started away when I heard a small. “Thank you.”

I smiled to myself and started back to the square. Sebastian was locking the front door when I was in front of the house. His eye brows furrowed together when he saw me. “Checking up on me?”

“No, I brought plate to Linus,” I said. Sebastian turned his head up towards the mountains. “I don’t know about that guy,” he said.

“He seems harmless,” I shrugged.

“So did Ted Bundy,” he pointed out.

“Do you think Linus has a trail of bodies leading to the valley?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Everyone has something to hide,” Sebastian smirked. I rolled my eyes.

Everyone was waiting for us when we strolled into town. Lewis had a big cup of punch in his hand, Pam glanced at me, her grin widening. I wiggled my eyebrows at her before helping myself to my own cup.

“Everyone knows the rules!” Lewis began, there wasn’t any hint of the alcohol taking effect yet. “You have 3 minutes to search for the hidden eggs. Whoever finds the most wins!”

Abbie was jumping up and down in place. She waved me over, I shook my head, pointing to my cup, I made a big deal out of taking a drink from it.

“Ready, set, go!” Lewis shouted and the hunters ran in different directions. Jodi started to cheer on Vincent while Shane and Marnie cheered on Jas. Gandalf chased after the girl. Sam had entered the hunt as well and I noticed him slipping eggs into Vincent’s basket. Abbie darted from one location to the next, I could tell that her basket was filing up quickly. Emily had also entered who skipped along as she went. Lewis blew a whistle, and everyone came in and placed down their baskets. Both Sam and Emily’s were mysteriously empty, while Jas and Vincent’s looked just a little fuller. Abigail still won, but I snuck extra cupcakes to the kids and they quickly cheered up.

The sun was starting to set when the square began to empty. Conveniently it was when clean up also started. Gus and Emily lingered, packing food into containers. Sam and Alex helped with stacking tables and chairs. I was on garbage duty when Mayor Lewis staggered past me a deep set frown on his face. I watched after him, he stumbled one step at a time towards the north. I looked over my shoulder at Gus, who had paused in his own task to watch after the Mayor.

“Should I go after him?” I asked.

“If you would,” Gus nodded. I set down my garbage bag and headed after Lewis. It didn’t take me long to find him, he stood in front of the old Community Center. The old building had seen better days. Ivy grew up the side of the walls, there was a hole in the ceiling and years of rain had caused a moldy film on the windows.

I stood next to the Mayor looking up at the old building. Something inside it stirred, I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it.

“Eye sore, ain’t it?” Lewis said, his voice was filled with sadness.

“It’s charming,” I said softly. “Like the farm.”

Lewis chuckled. “This is what is left of the Pelican Town Community Center. It used to be the pride and joy of the town… always bustling with activity. Now look at it. It’s shameful.”

I could hear the pain in the old man’s voice.

“These days, the young folk would rather sit in front of the TV than engage with the community.” He sighed heavily. “But listen to me, I sound like an old fool.”

“No.. no you don’t. You sound like a Mayor concerned for his town,” I spoke, touching his arm softly.

Lewis sniffed. “Joja Corporation has been hounding me to sell them the land so they can turn it into a warehouse. Pelican Town could use the money, but there’s something stopping me from selling it. I guess old timers like me get attached to relics of the past.. Ah well.”

He finally turned and looked at me. “If anyone else buys a Joja Corporation Membership I’m just gonna go ahead and sell it.” Lewis dragged his feet towards the door and unlocked it. I followed him inside, the old floorboards groaned under our feet. The ivy had found its way inside, we left a trail of footprints in the dust that coated every surface.

Lewis paused looking at a hut that was erected in the corner of the room.

“Hmm? What’s this?”

“Do you think Vincent and Jas were playing in here?” I asked.

“Must’ve,” he shrugged. “This place is even more dilapidated than I remember.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could say something a familiar chirp came from behind Lewis. The apple sized creature jumped up and down waving. I gasped and stumbled backwards.

“Kit!” Lewis steadied me. “What’s the matter are you ill?”

I moved to the side of Lewis and looked around, the creature was now gone. “I thought I saw something, there!” I pointed to the spot.

“Hmm… I wouldn’t be surprised if this place was full of rats.” Lewis said.

Again, the creature appeared behind Lewis, waving its little arms. My eyes widen and a scream came out before I could stop it. Lewis swung around, but the creature was gone. Hands clasped over my I stared at the spot. Lewis turned back to me. “You’re worrying me Kit!” He was frowning.

I looked around the room. Everything was quite now, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Counting to ten before releasing it and opening my eyes. “I’m sorry Lewis,” I smiled. “I must be more tired than I thought.”

Lewis gave me a tight smile. “I’m going to head home and get some sleep, I suggest you do the same. I’m going to keep this place unlocked from now on. Maybe you can help catch that rat if you have some extra time.” He gave my hand a small squeeze before walking outside.

I stood still and suddenly my senses open up, and the magic poured in. My spine prickled at the energy. I wondered down the hall a strange force leading me. Inside a small room I found a note on the floor, I shoved it into my bag not even bothering to read it, I knew I wouldn’t know the language that was written upon it. I left the room, finger tips trailing along the wooden paneled walls that lined the hallway. The old floorboards sang their ballad as I walked upon them, the dust flaring up around my shoes as I walked towards the door. The door shut behind me and I woke up, snapping out of the strange trance.

I stumbled away from the building gasping, I clutched at my chest as I retreated. I suddenly couldn’t get home fast enough and I ran towards the farm. I didn’t stop until I was inside, the door firmly shut behind me. Ash wiggled his way up to me, a big smile on his face.

“Hey buddy,” I gasped leaning down to pet him. I skipped my other nightly chores and only fed Asher. I fell into bed. That night I dreamed of the small creatures. They chirped and danced through the Valley, life returning to the land.

#Stardew Valley #Stardew Valley Farmer #Stardew Valley Fanfiction #Sebastian Stardew Valley #stardew valley sebastian #sebastian x farmer #farmer x sebastian #A New Sun

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 5 years ago

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57 Easy Gluten Free Dinner Recipes For the Whole Family

New blog post! Nowadays, I find myself having even less time and motivation to cook than usual...which is why easy gluten free dinner recipes have definitely been my saving grace!

So in the hope of making everyone’s life a little easier right now, I thought I’d round up some of the best easy gluten free dinner recipes on the blogosphere. All of the recipes I’ve included below are not only gluten free but also easy to make and require simple ingredients that you probably already have in your pantry. Plus, there are plenty of keto, low carb, paleo and vegan options! So without further adieu, let’s dive into these 57 easy gluten free dinner recipes for family members of all ages and palates.

1. Easy Chicken Pizza (Low Carb) - Snappy Gourmet

You don't even need pizza crust or flour to make this easy gluten free dinner. Just combine chicken with your favorite pasta or tomato sauce, cheese and pizza toppings!

2. Quinoa Avocado Veggie Patty (Vegan) - Any Reason Vegans

Have quinoa in your pantry that you want to use up? Combine quinoa, avocado and a few other ingredients for a delicous vegan "burger."

3. 5-Ingredient Sweet Chicken - My Gluten-Free Kitchen

This gluten free chicken recipe has definitely earned the top slot of my to-do list!

4. Zucchini Beef Skillet (Paleo) - Eating Richly

If you're looking for a one-pot-wonder that also just happens to be healthy, paleo and delicious, this gluten free dinner checks all the boxes.

5. Sweet Potato Salmon Sliders (Paleo) - Casey the College Celiac

No bread, no problem! You can enjoy your salmon between two "slices" of roasted sweet potato instead.

6. Delicious Easy Keto Pizza - Healthy with Jamie

Making a gluten free pizza might sound time-consuming and complicated, but this keto pizza recipe only takes 15 minutes to whip up - including cooking time!

7. Sesame Noodles (Vegan, Soy Free, Nut Free) - Moon and Spoon and Yum

Noodles have never looked so good or been so flavorful.

8. Caprese Sheet Pan Chicken Breast - Food Meanderings

You only need five ingredients to make this Caprese-salad-inspired dinner.

9. Instant Pot Curry with Chickpeas, Tomatoes and Spinach (Vegan) - The Foodie Eats

As long as you have curry powder in your pantry, this curry is a super easy recipe to whip up with the veggies you have on hand.

10. Greek Chicken Sheet Pan Dinner (Low Carb, Keto, Paleo) - Tasty Galaxy

This Greek chicken dinner tastes like it's straight out of a restaurant, and it only takes eight very simple ingredients.

11. The Best Vegan Chili Recipe Ever (Nightshade Free Option, Soy Free) - Allergy Yummy

The ingredients you need for this vegan chili may be easily accessible and cheap, but this chili tastes high quality!

12. Singapore Chicken Satay Skewers with Peanut Sauce - Christina's Cucina

For those nights when you only have chicken in the fridge but want something different for dinner...

13. Crustless Spinach, Onion and Sundried Tomato Quiche - Girl Gone Mom

If you have some eggs on hand, this quiche is an easy meal-prep recipe that your family can enjoy for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

14. Spanish Beans with Tomatoes (Vegan, Vegetarian) - Veggie Desserts

This vegan dinner recipe is proof that even if you have limited fresh ingredients, you can still create a winning meal.

15. Deconstructed Vegetarian Enchiladas Skillet - Mash Up Mom

All of the enchilada flavor with a fraction of the effort. Sign me up!

16. 5-Minute Crunchy Greens Quesadilla (Paleo, Vegan Options) - Casey the College Celiac

This is the perfect easy gluten free dinner to use up any leftovers you have on hand. Plus, it can easily be adapted to a paleo or vegan diet.

17. Easy Sheet Pan Sausage and Vegetables - Foodal

Seasoning turns what could be a boring dinner of potatoes, veggies and sausage into a flavorful dinner the whole family will enjoy. Just make sure whatever sausage (or substitute protein) you use is gluten free!

18. Vegetable Soup (Vegan) - Veg Recipes of India

If you're craving a comforting soup but don't have any cans at home, you can make your own with this very easy recipe.

19. Whole30 Chicken Fajita Stuffed Peppers (Paleo) - Cook At Home Mom

To make this gluten free dinner even quicker and easier to make, you can follow the cooking hacks included in the recipe, like using frozen cauliflower rice or pre-cooked chicken.

20. Mushroom Pulao, or Instant Pot Mushroom Rice - Indian Ambrosia

Moist rice combines with tender mushrooms for a simple but scrumptious gluten free dinner.

21. Easy Vegan Tortilla Soup - Class Clay Cooking

No cream or chicken is needed for this flavorful tortilla soup.

22. Instant Pot Lemon Garlic Chicken - Nourish Plate

Lemon and garlic upgrade the traditional chicken breast into a creamy, tangy dinner.

23. Flatbread Quinoa Pizza (Vegan) - Stacey Homemaker

Who knew that you could make a gluten free pizza crust out of just quinoa, water, garlic and seasonings?!?

24. Loaded Potato Wedge Nachos (Vegan Option) - Casey the College Celiac

The only required ingredient for this gluten free dinner is a regular or sweet potato to cook up into fries. Otherwise, you can stack your nachos with whatever ingredients you have on hand or are craving!

25. Extra Crispy Air Fryer Popcorn Chicken (Allergy-free, No oil) - Strength and Sunshine

If you're craving take-out, make a healthier version of fried chicken using this simple air fryer recipe instead.

26. Super Simple, Very Green Cream Soup (Low Carb, Paleo, Vegetarian) - Refresh My Health

The hardest step of this gluten free soup recipe is blending all the veggies, so it's safe to say it's a winning recipe for busy nights.

27. Kid-Friendly Baked Ziti Casserole - Fearless Dining

Have a ton of gluten free pasta in your cupboards and don't know how to use it? This easy gluten free casserole will please the whole family!

28. Turkey and Sweet Potato Chili - Feast for a Fraction

The nice thing about this chili is that you can easily make a double batch and freeze half for even easier dinners later on!

29. Vegan Tomato Soup - Allergy Free Alaska

This soup is as comforting as it is easy to make. Plus, you likely already have all the necessary ingredients in your pantry.

30. Easy Zucchini Enchilada Skillet - Wanderlust and Wellness

This gluten free enchilada dinner is loaded with extra veggies and only takes 10 ingredients and 30 minutes to make.

31. Gluten Free Pizza Rolls - Hunny I'm Home DIY

As long as you have a gluten free pizza crust mix waiting in your pantry, you can surprise the whole family with these allergy-friendly pizza rolls.

32. The Best Twice Baked Stuffed Potatoes - Simply Full of Delight

If you have a lot of Russet potatoes you want to use up, this simple take on twice baked potatoes will take those spuds to the next level.

33. Instant Pot Lentil Stew (Vegetarian) - Fun FOOD Frolic Photo Option

Meatless Monday has never been so tasty or delicious. Plus this recipe is super customizable for whatever you have in your pantry.

34. 4-Ingredient Roast Chicken Dinner - My Kitchen Love

This one-pot meal lets the oven do all the work and is the perfect way to cook up a whole chicken and have leftovers for days.

35. Lazy Vegan Pot Pie with Sliced Potato Crust - My Pure Plants

Pot pie might not be the first meal you think of when you hear the phrase, "Easy dinner recipes" but this one is extra easy since you use a potato instead of flour for the crust!

36. Air Fryer Chicken Fajitas - Little Sunny Kitchen

Homemade fajita seasoning and the air fryer makes these chicken fajitas extra flavorful and easy.

37. Mexican Ground Beef Skillet (Paleo, Whole 30) - Hot Pan Kitchen

This gluten free Mexican dinner only takes 25 minutes to cook, and you can eat it on its own, with veggies or even as tacos.

38. Crispy Salmon Cakes with Lemon Dill Sauce (Low Carb, Grain Free) - Flavor the Moments

I grew up eating salmon patties with my grandma, so this low carb version is definitely on the top of my to-do list.

39. Sweet Potato & Black Bean Stew (Vegan, Refined Sugar Free) - Healthy Living James

Black beans and sweet potato are a match made in culinary heaven.

40. Quick & Easy Vegan Bolognese - Delightful Adventures

For when you're craving spaghetti but also want a meatless dinner that everyone will enjoy.

41. 3-Ingredient Balsamic Jam Pork Chops (Paleo, Whole 30 Option) - Paleo Gluten Free Guy

A sweet and sour glaze takes pork chops to the next level.

42. One Pan Mexican Quinoa (Vegan) - Vegan Huggs

Quinoa and black beans give this Mexican dinner a hefty dose of plant-based protein.

43. Crockpot Chicken and Gravy - 24 Bite

No canned soup or gravy mix packages are required for this gluten free crockpot dinner.

44. Lentil Curry (Dal) with Spinach (Vegan, Vegetarian) - Go Healthy Ever After

Personally, I love a cozy bowl of dal and this vegan dal recipe is extra easy to make thanks to the instant pot or pressure cooker.

45. Supreme Pizza Casserole (Low Carb) - Peace, Love and Low Carb

Transform that leftover cauliflower in your fridge into a pizza-like dinner with help from whatever pizza toppings and sauces you have on hand.

46. One Pan Chicken and Asparagus Skillet Dinner - Creative Green Living

As long as you have chicken breast, cheese and asparagus, you can whip up this easy gluten free skillet dinner.

47. Chicken Bacon Ranch Casserole (Keto) - Wholesome Yum

This gluten free casserole only calls for seven common recipes and you have two ways to choose to make it.

48. Keto Pulled Pork - Joy Filled Eats

One instant pot + five simple ingredients = one delicious, protein-packed keto dinner recipe.

49. Simple Italian Sweet Potato Pizza Crust (Vegan) - Bucket List Tummy

Do you have sweet potatoes, gluten free oats and cornstarch? Then you can have a sweet potato pizza!

50. Creamy Baked Chicken Legs (Keto Friendly) - Cooked by Julie

Shake up traditional chicken leg dinner with a creamy tomato sauce.

51. Paleo Shepard's Pie (Whole 30) - Lau's Healthy Lifestyle

This paleo dinner recipe versatile, comforting and tasty.

52. Instant Pot Salsa Chicken (Keto Friendly) - Mom Foodie

Salsa, chicken, cheese and spices + the instant pot = an easy and delicious family meal.

53. Healthy Pasta Alfredo (Keto Option) - Texanerin

Make sure you use the gluten free flour option in this healthy alfredo recipe, and you'll have an easy use of the pasta in your pantry.

54. 3 Chicken Cutlets Recipes (Keto, Grain Free and Egg Free Options) - Healthy Taste of Life

These chicken cutlets are juicy on the inside, crunchy on the outside and definite kid-pleaser.

55. Creamy Sweet Potato Lentil Soup (Vegan) - Happy Kitchen Rocks

Sweet potato, lentils and coconut milk are the three main ingredients for this easy vegan dinner.

56. Air Fryer Salmon Patties (Low Carb, Keto, Whole 30) - Recipes From a Pantry

Thanks to the air fryer, these salmon patties are crispy on the outside and tender on the inside.

57. Chicken Fajita Lettuce Wraps (Paleo, Grain Free, Specific Carbohydrate Diet) - Emma Eats and Explores

Thanks to the marinade, the chicken in these fajitas are super tender and you can add whatever toppings you're craving.

I Hope You Love These Easy Gluten Free Dinner Recipes for the Whole Family

Regardless of how chaotic our life might be, we still need to eat and easy gluten free dinner recipes like these can definitely make that “chore” feel a lot less taxing. And if you have a limited amount of ingredients in your pantry, fridge and freezer, I hope these simple recipes will also inspire you to get creative with what you have. Let me know in the comments what you’ve been eating lately or which of these 57 gluten free dinner recipes you’d like to try first! And stay safe, healthy and full of delicious gluten free food! via Blogger https://ift.tt/34wqRdP

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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rocketrobinprints-blog · 6 years ago

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March 28, 2019

It’s officially Spring Break week for me so I’ve been taking the time to focus myself on some projects and get things settled around the house. Among those projects is getting my plants settled and getting ready for the growing season!

Our apartment has nearly all South facing windows, and a South facing balcony, so I decided I wanted to turn our balcony into a food garden using containers. I started some seeds (minimally successfully) back at the end of February for early Spring crops and then later for a spread of flowers.

My kale seeds came up easily, and so I transplanted the four best seedlings into larger containers. After growing a little more in front of our big window that opens out to the balcony, I moved them outside. It’s still getting pretty cold at night, even as we’re starting to have some days in the 60s. We’re still having frost warnings too. But Kale loves it! I have one in a 10″ terracotta pot, one in a mushroom plastic container, and one in a gallon milk jug out on the balcony, and after the temperature dipped down, the plants look even more happy and resilient than before.

The spinach, not so much... From the seeds, I only had 2 of 8 sprout, and of those two only one survived transplanting. I put it outside with the kale, but the cold seems to have withered it significantly. However! I have a volunteer spinach plant that is doing fantastic! How do you get a volunteer plant, Kecheri? No idea! Last year I dropped lettuce seeds into a glass coke bottle just for fun and the lettuce grew as well as can be expected. Then I pulled it out, used it, and put the bottle away somewhere. Then this year, I happened to leave the bottle I assumed was empty sitting out while surveying my different planting containers for this years garden. Well, a few days later, something sprouted in my SUPPOSEDLY EMPTY bottle! It’s been growing very nicely since the bottle makes a sort of miniature greenhouse, and the leaves are pretty spectacular! It’s definitely a spinach plant by the shape of the leaves. I have no idea how it got there, but I’m definitely not complaining. So that spinach plant has continued to grow really well outside on the balcony and started filling out the little stem of the bottle. I’m not sure what the effect the confined space will have on it’s growth, but we’ll have to just wait and see.

Also successful is the German chamomile (the kind used to make the tea) seeds I bought in February. I’ve had close to 100% seed germination and the little stalks are looking pretty strong. I have some sprouted in my seed starter, pending a transplanting into a more permanent home, and some started in a mini greenhouse I made from a plastic clam-shell salad bar container. The ones in the salad container are doing particularly good, look strong and healthy. I’m excited they came up so quickly and so successfully, but I’ll have to figure out what I’m doing with them as e enter warmer weather. I don’t think they take particularly well (according to some google searching) to transplanting and would rather be planted in their final containers later in the season, but we’ll see! I still have plenty of seeds so I can always do that once the weather is warmer and I’m ready to do more work outside.

To no surprise, the catnip I planted in the seed starter and a salad bar container greenhouse like the chamomile has sprouted fairly successfully as well. Mint plants are particularly easy to grow and spread, so I’m not too surprised, but as this is the first year I’m trying to grow catnip, and my first year with a cat, I’m excited all the same.

I’m growing a number of other herb plants as well this year. In addition to the chamomile and catnip, I’ve picked up some starter plants from our small, local plant nursery. I have Italian oregano and a rosemary that I’ve transplanted into gallon milk jug containers, and a lavender still waiting to be re-homed. As much as I use spices in my cooking, the herbs are a must. (Even though I can get good herbs at the spice and tea shop where I work, nothing beats fresh.) Once weather gets a little warmer and I can start moving things outside, I think the herbs will really take off. So far, they’ve really been thriving in the big window.

I’m also focusing on growing vegetables this year since we’re in such a nice sun situation here. Already I have some potatoes that sprouted in our cupboards growing pretty well in five gallon buckets. My crop last year ended up rotting out after we got so much summer rain, and I’m not entirely positive the buckets have sufficient drainage. The first year I grew potatoes and had a really successful crop, I had mixed my soil with a lot of moderately sized rocks, which I didn’t do last year or this, so we’ll have to see how it goes. Good news is that if these rot similarly, I know how to correct the problem and will still have plenty of growing season to correct the problems.

Vegetables I have seeds for this year are cucumbers, zucchini, broccoli, cabbage, and bush beans. Some of the seeds are a little old, so I’m unsure about germination success, but others like the cucumber, zucchini, and beans are new. My mom is moving houses this year and has offered to lend me her self-watering planters for this summer, which will be great and I think will be enough room for one of these big vining plants. I also want to try my hand at tomatoes in buckets, but haven’t taken steps towards starting them yet.

I still have our living blue spruce Christmas tree outside on the balcony. I picked up a couple 15″ pots, one of which I plan to transplant the spruce into. Then, I can transplant my avocado tree (that I started from a pit two years ago) into the spruce’s current pot, and stick something else in the avocado’s pot.

I’ve gotten into researching and trying out regrowing plants from kitchen scraps this year too. I regrew a bok choi from the base in January or February, but killed it by harvesting leaves too quickly and not actually planting it in dirt. Even so! It lets me know that I can grow a bok choi NEXT time with some precautions. I regrew and transplanted carrot tops for the carrot greens, and those have been growing really happily in the kitchen since planting. At the moment, I’m going to try and regrow some leeks, and be sure to transplant them when new growth comes up. Growing from scraps is pretty exciting because I’m really into sustainability, and have been since I was a kid, and limiting food waste by replanting and growing more food is excellent.

Speaking of limiting food waste, I also have a compost going in the corner of our balcony. Eric’s sister gave me an empty, locking-top kitty litter plastic bin that I’ve been throwing shredded paper scraps, exhausted dirt, and food waste into for a few months now. It needs to be turned, and is pretty full since we eat mostly whole foods and generate a fair amount of scraps, but I think it’s doing what it’s supposed to, which is super exciting! It doesn’t smell much, and the food does seem to be breaking down. My mom has kept a compost since I was a little kid, and aside from the lack of grass cuttings that always made up a lot of her compost piles, my little kitty bucket compost looks like proper compost! I’ve been adding it into a few of my plantings already, like the potatoes that are heavy nutrient feeders. I think when I have the proper planters, the compost will really come in handy.

Some background here, my mom is a big gardener and I’ve been helping her in the yard and with the vegetable garden since I was a kid. We were part of a neighborhood sustainability club that focused on community beauty through gardening, sustainable practices, and environment friendly projects and events like Sweep the Creek. In high school, I helped to found a gardening club at my school in senior year, and we dug up a courtyard to install a vegetable garden to be used and maintained by the home ec and horticulture classes. I’ve always had strong beliefs in the value of food gardens and I have a significant love of plants in general. SO the fact I have the opportunity to take advantage of all South facing windows has been thoroughly utilized and my indoor plants have thrived through the winter. Now that it’s almost warm enough to star utilizing the opportunity to use a take advantage of a South facing balcony, not obscured by trees and the like? I am itching with excitement to start laying the garden out in my small space and planting things. I really want it to be successful, and we’ll just have to wait and see, but I have a good feeling about it.

April and May are really when planting season starts where we are, so I’m jumping the gun kind of significantly, but once the weather warms up and starts staying warm, I will really be able to launch into this project.

Stay tuned for more updates and some pictures!

-Kecheri

#rocketrobinprints #urban gardening #vegetable garden #balcony garden #not art related but still nifty

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steamishot · 3 years ago

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~health~

i had a revelation about skincare in april of this year. now in july, i’m having revelations about health and diet. is this what being 30 is about? i realize i wasn’t just PMSing in my last post, i was feeling meh due to other factors as well. as matt has had more available time to spend with me, my loneliness and mental health has improved. however, the activities that we did together hurt our physical health. since completing hard rotations, we went to eat hot pot twice (though it was tasty, our stomachs get destroyed by the oil), smith and wollensky (unlimited wine, entree of steak, appetizers of oyster and bacon, etc), indian food out with friends, july 4th blue apron dinner of lobster rolls and unhealthy side dishes, fried chicken sandwiches, and desserts like almost everyday, all in a two week span!! on top of that, i would make lattes to drink everyday, and then also couple the dessert with a glass of milk at night. it’s no wonder i felt like shit. this probably would not have affected me much if i were 5 years younger, but i realize i am a lot more sensitive to my diet now. i had more trouble concentrating on things, felt lazier overall, and less energetic.

regarding skincare, i recently made a side by side comparison of my skin in april vs. now. my complexion is noticeably better; there’s less redness. i still have a bunch of sunspots that i hope will fade over time.

i’m now determined to improve our diet going forward. i started making green smoothies (spinach/kale, banana, mango, pineapple, orange juice, collagen) recently and felt so energized after drinking it. and thought to myself, why so stupid, why haven’t i thought of making these much earlier? my diet back at home consisted mainly of my mom’s cooking, hot pot, and boba LOL. needless to say, fresh greens were almost never part of my diet and i tended to avoid cooked greens as well. not only should my energy level/health improve with a better diet, but so will my skin and hair health. goodness all around.

to be more conscious of the foods we eat, whereas before i tended to eat for taste haha, our diets will look something like: steelcut oatmeal for breakfast (add dates, walnuts, flax seeds, cinnamon, no milk), if we are utilizing uber eats: one tasty dish that is generally healthy, or if i’m cooking, a protein over salad. then a veggie/fruit smoothie with added collagen.

baby steps in the right direction ✨

to note, i went to get a trim at a salon last weekend. i went in because my hair had been so damaged/easily tangled from when i bleached my hair back in fall 2021 (and then dyed black in april this year) and i wanted to chop more of the damaged hair off. so much of my hair was falling out whenever i combed it :( and it was so difficult to untangle even when it was conditioned. as the lady washed my hair, she noted how damaged my hair was and asked if i dyed my hair by myself. getting my hair colored at a less reputable place to try and save money was one of the worst financial decisions i’ve made recently lol. not only did it hurt my wallet, my hair was in the worst health this past year than ever! anyway, she talked me into doing an oil treatment and i agreed to it. my hair now feels like it did when it was healthy 🥺. i felt bad at the time, having to shell out now a total of $120+tip when i wasn’t mentally prepared to do so, but i am happy that my hair is revived. i am also determined to taking better care of my hair going forward with at home masks/oils.

so... baby steps in the right direction.

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livingcorner · 4 years ago

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28 Things to Do With Too Many Tomatoes

At the end of the summer, many gardeners end up with too many tomatoes. Here’s more than two dozen ways to use all those extra tomatoes from your garden.

It’s tomato season! And, I don’t know about you, but my garden’s been working overtime this season. Talk about too much of a good thing!

You're reading: 28 Things to Do With Too Many Tomatoes

Yes, come late-August and September, many gardeners end up with a dozen or two heirloom tomatoes ripening on their kitchen counter, with dozens more cherry, San Marzano, Brandywine, Yellow Pear, and countless other tomato varieties ripening on the vine.

You hate to waste these beauties, but you can’t help wondering…

“What the heck am I gonna do with all these tomatoes?”

Too many tomatoes. Not a bad problem to have, actually. But it can be daunting to find ideas on how to use them all.

Here are 28 ways to use all those extra tomatoes from your garden

While they’re at their peak freshness, no less!

1. Eat them whole

Really! Vine ripened tomatoes are delicious all on their own. You can take a big bite out of one like an apple, or do what my mom always does: slice the tomato into thick slices and sprinkle with salt. Yum!

2. Fresh salsa

3. Cooked salsa

4. Too many tomatoes? Use them as a skin cleanser

Did you know you could clean your face with a tomato? YES, it’s true! (Check out this line of tomato facial products :)) The acids in tomato juice are great for softening and cleaning skin, while the lycopene helps eliminate free radicals.

For oily skin: mix equal parts fresh tomato juice and aloe vera juice.

For dry skin: use a ratio of 1 part tomato juice to 2 parts aloe vera juice.

Rub a tablespoon of this mixture into your face and rinse with warm water.

Read more: The Best Garden Hose, Hose Nozzle, and Hose Reel

5. Sunburn relief

Tomatoes are also wonderful at soothing sunburn. If your sunburn is recent and not blistering or peeling, rubbing a slice of tomato on it can lessen the redness. According to this study, eating tomatoes can increase your skin’s natural sun protection. One more reason to eat those beauties!

6. Make your own pasta sauce

Here’s a great homemade pasta sauce recipe you can make using fresh tomatoes. The recipe calls for five pounds of fresh tomatoes, perfect for when you have too many tomatoes!

7. Tomato sandwiches

8. Tomato soup

9. BLT’s

This is one of my favorite ways to use up too many tomatoes. I like making a classic BLT, but there are some really interesting ways of dressing up a BLT that are worth a try.

Consider adding:

Avocado

Cheese

A fried egg

Fresh greens

Onion

Or just turn your BLT into a BLT grilled cheese (and dip it in your homemade tomato soup!).

10. Tomato juice

If you have too many tomatoes, making tomato juice is a great way to use them up. You can use tomato juice in soups, to add flavor to meat, to deodorize a stinky refrigerator, or to make a kick butt Bloody Mary.

How to Make Tomato Juice

11. Tomato paste

12. Grilled bruschetta

Bruschetta is a really easy and tasty way to use too many tomatoes. Plus, when you’re grilling them, you don’t have to heat up the kitchen.

Cut a crusty baguette into slices and toast them on the grill. Then brush with garlic butter or oil. Top with slices of tomato and fresh mozzarella or get adventurous and experiment with additional toppings such as mushrooms, fresh chopped herbs, gorgonzola, zucchini, or prosciutto.

13. Fried green tomatoes

Sometimes tomatoes fall off the vine, or a frost is expected before they ripen. What would you do with too many tomatoes when they’re unripened besides fry them?

How to fry green tomatoes:

Start with slices of green tomato and dip them in an egg bath.

Coat with batter of choice. Being dairy and gluten free, I use a mixture of cornmeal and another gluten free flour.

You could also add buttermilk to the egg mixture for an added level of taste.

Fry the tomatoes in your choice of oil (at roughly 375 degrees) until golden and crispy.

Enjoy!

14. Tomato ketchup

15. Homemade spaghetti sauce

16. Homemade pizza sauce

Read more: The 13 Best Ways to Utilize Chili Peppers • The Chili Life

Homemade Pizza Sauce (for the freezer)

17. Grill ‘em

Grilled tomatoes are a fun and easy snack for when you have too many tomatoes.

Start with firm tomatoes and slice them in half horizontally

Brush with olive oil.

Grill until grill marks form.

Flip and repeat.

Top with salt.

Enjoy!

18. Marinate ’em

Marinated tomatoes are wonderful and really easy to make. Simply add halved cherry tomatoes, fresh herbs, salt, pepper, and garlic to a jar of olive oil and vinegar and let them sit for several hours or overnight.

19. Freeze ’em

Of course you can freeze cooked tomatoes, but have you ever considered freezing raw tomatoes? You can! It’s a great way to preserve them when you have too many tomatoes. If you are planning on using them for a sauce or stew later, freezing whole raw tomatoes is a fine way to preserve them without putting the work in up front to cook them.

20. Can ’em

Whole, halved, or diced, canning is a great way to preserve tomatoes that doesn’t require electricity to keep (like freezing does). Check out these recipes for canning tomatoes:

Canning Tomatoes

21. Stuffed tomatoes

Another great way to use too many tomatoes but be sure to use sturdy ones.

Slice them in half horizontally and scoop out the inside.

Fill with your choice of filling (breadcrumbs, cheese, spinach, mushrooms, rice and quinoa are some possibilities)

Bake at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes.

22. Tri-colored tomato salad

One of my favorite things about growing produce in the backyard is the variety of tastes and colors. When you have a lot of different colored tomatoes, why not make a tri-colored tomato salad? Chop tomatoes to bite sized pieces and toss with fresh basil, mozzarella, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

23. Dried tomatoes

I’m always amazed at how expensive sun dried tomatoes are at the grocery store, especially when I know I can make them at home for almost nothing. Sun dried tomatoes are great in pasta dishes, hummus, pesto, or omelets. When you dry them there’s no such thing as too many tomatoes! Try this recipe for making sun dried tomatoes at home:

Easiest “Sun” Dried tomatoes

24. Tomato and fruit

Since technically tomatoes are a fruit, why not add them to your fruit salad? Here are a few fun recipes that use fruit and tomatoes:

Fruit Salad with Tomato

Tomato Fruit Gazpacho

Tomato and Fruit Soup

25. Shakshukah

26. Tomato basil garlic butter

What’s great about making flavored butter is that you can easily freeze it for another time. So you can make large batches and have it available all winter. Find the recipe here:

Tomato Basil Garlic Butter

27. Barter or sell them

If you have more tomatoes than you can eat, can, freeze, or dry, why not sell them at a farmer’s market or barter with a friend for something different?

28. Give them away

When all else fails and you still have way too many tomatoes, give them away. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find someone willing to take extra tomatoes off your hands, and it will be a relief to know they aren’t going to waste. You may even be able to donate fresh tomatoes to a local food pantry.

Want an EPIC tomato cookbook?

Click here to see my favorite!

What do YOU do with too many tomatoes?

What do you like to do with your extra garden tomatoes? Share with us in the comments below!

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

source https://livingcorner.com.au/28-things-to-do-with-too-many-tomatoes/

#livingcornernews

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quinn-in-amsterdam · 7 years ago

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Alone with You || Fabrale

Tagging: Quinn Fabray & Derek Hale When: May 24, 2018 Where:: Derek’s house Notes: Quinn and Derek talk about their pasts. TW: Discussion about murder, cheating, and death.

Derek

Telling Quinn had been a huge weight off of Derek's shoulders. But it also meant that one of the only reasons for him to be apart from her, time he spent talking to Laura or shifted, was completely gone. And if he hadn't had his head firmly jammed up her ass before, he certainly did now. Derek knew that she was inside when he was still halfway down the walk, head raising, and he jogged the rest of the way inside, pinpointing her and shucking his sweat-stained shirt. "Made yourself at home?"

Quinn

In the kitchen Quinn placed a toasted bagel on a plate and set cream cheese and jelly next to it. When Derek entered she could see the shirt practically peel off his body. “Haven’t has a chance to do that before. I thought it would be a practice run for whenever I decide to move in.” She want over to him and laid a hand on his damp, cook skin and kissed Derek’s heated lips. “Since you have such a love for bagels, I brought you one.”

Derek

When she decided to move in. An eventuality, instead of a possibility. The thought made him settle in, resting a hand against her back when she kissed him so that she couldn't pull away so soon. The other hand dropped his shirt on the floor and made to press against the side of her face. "Have you eaten?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "Only makes sense that I'm able to return the favor."

Quinn

Both hands immediately went to Derek’s chest and she tried to wiggle away from him. “Oh God. You’re sweaty, Derek. And my clothes will reek of your sweat.” There was laughter with this though she didn’t want to stink later. “I had a smoothie before I came over.” She said, declaring defeat and wrapping both arms around him. “You want to cook breakfast for me?”

Derek

"Hey, you're the one who came over to me. Am I supposed to be keeping my arms at my sides, here?" He pressed in against her when she finally gave up, and he pressed a kiss against her forehead. "Why, what are you doing today that you don't want to smell like the inside of a gym sock?" He pulled away enough to look at her. "Absolutely. I'm going to eat that bagel, but you need more than a smoothie. Something with protein."

Quinn

“I wanted to say good morning to my boyfriend. Next time you come in, clammy to the touch, I will wave at you from across the room.” Quinn’s nails dug into his sides, teasing him with them. “I will love to watch you cook while shirtless but if you run out to grab a rabbit to cook I’m out of here.”

Derek

"Well, this way we get to shower together. Really, this all seems like some sort of convoluted plan to get into the shower with me. You know that all you have to do is ask." He jumped back when she tickled against his sides, hypersensitive to it, and the fear emerged in his eyes to have one of his vulnerable spots revealed like that. "How do you feel about eggs and sausage?"

Quinn

“I do like when we shower together. It’s not my fault one of us is in need of them so often.” She enjoyed his reaction and knew this was one to remember for when he was difficult. “How do you prepare your eggs? Do you have turkey sausage?” She couldn’t give a simple answer...

Derek

"It's not my fault that you get me sweaty." He let that linger in the air, but eventually shook his head, knowing that he was being ridiculous. He was keeping his elbows tightly contained into his sides now, eyes flicking to her hands every so often so that she couldn't get the jump on her. "However you want. And I can run down to the corner store."

Quinn

Quinn’s head lowered slightly, eyes on him with a you-can’t-be-serous expression before a bit of a scoffing laugh escaped. “Is that so?” The smile gave away how flattered she is. Quinn’s hands went to Derek’s back now and she drummed her fingertips while he spoke. “Very well. I won’t be too difficult by requesting an egg white scramble with diced tomatoes, spinach and peppers. Only letting you know for next time. I will like turkey sausage, an English muffin and fruit salad with a cup of low fat yogurt. I’ll make coffee here.” Now to see if he’ll actually put this together for her or not.

Derek

Derek hesitated, pulling away from her so that he could go to the fridge. Ordinarily, it would be a lot of chicken ready to be de-skinned and baked, salmon, and green vegetables, but he'd diversified a little bit with a second person in the house. He triumphantly pulled out each ingredient in turn and set to work, first grabbing his plate and taking a bite of the bagel, dipped hurriedly in the cream cheese. "What would have been too difficult?"

Quinn

She went to the counter and leaned a hip against it, forearm on the counter top while she shook her head in disbelief. “I’m surprised. And impressed. Maybe a little turned on, too. Do you typically eat this kind of food.” Quinn picked up the fruit and went to the sink to wash them. “The scrambled eggs. It’s a pain the separate the yolk.”

Derek

Derek just shook his head. "You underestimate me." He got down a small mixing bowl, then dug out an almost empty water bottle from the fridge. He drained it, and popped the eggs one by one out of the bowl by squeezing the water bottle against them and letting the yolk fill the vacuum. "I hate tomatoes. And I prefer chard to spinach."

Quinn

“I’ve seen this done before but never tried it in my own.” She said after the fruit was placed into a bowl and set to the side. “Who taught you how to cook?” Her hands dried on a small towel and she gathered the vegetables. “I’ve never had chard with eggs before. I’ll give them a try. Why don’t you like tomatoes?” After she asked this Quinn realized there was still a lot to learn about Derek. “I don’t like the taste of raw mushrooms. Cooked is fine.”

Derek

"Oh, no, not in eggs. Just in general. Eggs, I go for ketchup or a little bit of bleu or goat cheese. Depending on the mood." He went over to wash his hands quickly, and fished out a pan when he came back. "My dad taught me how to cook. Five kids. I spent all the time with him that I could get my hands on. Especially because he really didn't know the first thing about sports, and I was the sporty kid." He started up dicing the peppers on a little cutting board. "I hate tomatoes. I love pico. I love ketchup. I hate red sauces, like pizza and pasta sauces. I have no way of justifying this. I hate cooked mushrooms. Raw is fine. I'm not making this up."

Quinn

Once everything was finished she went back to the counter and brought herself up to sit and watch while Derek prepared breakfast. “So you and your dad would cook for a family of werewolves? Were the meals a ridiculous amount of food? Just from speaking to Carter alone I see how big a werewolf’s appetite can be.” Quinn’s fingers trailed through her hair and she had to take that moment to give Derek a playful poke with her toe. “You’re more of a pain in the ass when it comes to food than me.”

Derek

"The meals were insane." Derek used the blade of the knife to get all of the vegetables into the pan with just a little bit of oil to get some color on them, and he threw the tomatoes in a minute or so later, before he added the eggs. "Especially with my mom as an alpha. I still watch Laura put away way more food than even Carter can. And part of Carter's appetite is definitely just Carter." He poked her back, aiming for her stomach. "When you're in shape, they don't call it picky. They call it disciplined."

Quinn

“And your dad? He was human wasn’t he? Or did he get turned by an Alpha?” Quinn hoped she remembered this correctly as she wanted to understand and follow everything Derek told her. “Well, your cousin eats a lot then. He talked about McDonalds and this steak house which has an all you can eat special. I mentioned the three of us should go together. Give me a chance to meet him in person.” Quinn recoiled from the poke and batted at his hand. “No. I’m calling it picky.”

Derek

"My dad stayed human, yeah." He smiled a little bit at how she had remembered. "Supposedly didn't take it quite so much in stride when he found out. But the timeline between the wedding and Laura is a little sketchy, so he probably didn't have the same luxury of decision making." He worked on scrambling the eggs, working through it all with a rubber spatula. "He does eat a lot. And I think that's a great idea. Let me know what he says." He grabbed for her hand, reflexes quick, and pressed a kiss against the back of it. "I can put mushrooms in this right now."

Quinn

Quinn was glad to see she remembered correctly and smiled happily at this. “So it’s not unusual for a human and a werewolf to get married and have children? Because, and I’m being honest, I don’t know if I can be one.” They’ve been up front and honest about everything and Quinn wanted to get this out in the open. She reached out and tugged on Derek’s shirt to pull him to stand between her legs. “In a moment.” Her hand passed through his hair and she leaned forward to kiss his lips.

Derek

"It's not uncommon at all." He kissed her, hands placed on her legs, and he couldn't even bring his face away when he pulled back. "I don't know if I even want you to take the bite. It's dangerous. And I... I like you just the way you are." He nudged their noses together, suddenly conscious of what he'd said to Carter the other day, about how being with Quinn made him feel fifteen years old. "...So, you know how Punnett squares work?" An insanely idiotic question from someone who had last taken biology in tenth grade to someone with an M.S., approaching a doctorate.(edited)

Quinn

“You mean if I ever decide to take the bite you won’t like me as much?” She teased, kissing him again before giving Derek a swat on the arm: light and playful. “I know how distracting I can be but if you burn my eggs I’ll whine. A lot.” She kissed his nose. Something cutesy and unlike her but it was easy to do with him. “Vaguely. I haven’t looked at one in awhile.” The question was out of left field though she was curious what was on his mind.May 17, 2018

Derek

"It would be one of the most worrying things that ever happened to me. But if it was what you decided to do, I'd support you." His attention went back to the stove, and he stirred the eggs around a bit to make sure thst they were evenly cooked before throwing them onto a plate. "So, I have one, dominant werewolf gene. And you don't. So there's a 25% chance any kid we had would be human. Also terrifying."

Quinn

“Why would it worry you?” She expected a smart ass response but was greeted with this instead. Quinn slid off the counter and turned around to gather small bowls for the fruit salad. “That’s better than a 0% chance.” She scooped out the fruit and set it to the side before she went to warm water in the electric kettle she brought from her house. “Then the chance we may have one human kid isn’t completely written off.” Soon the French press had fresh coffee grounds, ready for the hot water. “Why is that terrifying?” Quinn was in her head, wondering if having a human child would make her more attached to the others but she knew her was ridiculous; so Derek’s last sentence didn’t register until later.

Derek

"Because there's a chance that the bite doesn't take, and that you would die a horrific and painful death," Derek said, and he didn't seem to be aware of how he was gripping the counter, tendons on his hand extremely prominent. "...Would you not want a child who was a werewolf? I think it would be terrifying because human children get hurt. And sick. I broke four ribs and punctured a lung once and I was up and playing the next day."

Quinn

This took time to sink in and Quinn, who kept by the kettle looked to him. “Are there people who willingly take the bite, knowing those consequences?” While she asked her hand went to her cross to fidget, unaware of this until a few beats later. Quinn turned the kettle off and poured the hot water in. “I know I’ll love all our children, Derek but I do have concerns when it comes to mothering werewolves. I mean. You just said you broke ribs and punctured a lung. That would give me a heart attack.”

Derek

Derek nodded, and he finally glanced down at his hands. He pulled away fron the countertop altogether. "There are. And even the... vast majority of people who got it violently are fine. But some..." he shook his head, and turned to lean against the counter. "Human children break ribs and puncture lungs too. They spend weeks in the hospital for it."

Quinn

“Weeks compared to a day is a major difference. Did you even see the inside of a doctor’s office?” Quinn pushed the plunger down slowly and went to Derek and wrapped her arms around his body. “I’m used to certain things, such as people having children who are 100% children and not dying from alpha bites. Please don’t take my inquiries as me dismissing who you are. It hasn’t even been a full week since you told me about all of this so, of course, I need to adjust. I love you and want us to have our life together. The one we’ve been planning since the start.”

Derek

"It was a veterinary clinic." He paused, because he knew that she was going to have some things to say about that, and he pointed a finger into her face. "Which is something very typical for our pack, because our emissary was a vet, and he saw us in his vet practice, not because werewolves and vets are a thing." But any sass that he had died, and his eyebrows came together as he listened to her. "...I told you you love me."

Quinn

Before she could get a word in Derek went into a quick explanation and it still had her wanting to say more about it, “Why did your emissary pick that as his job? I mean, I can see it works because you don’t have to deal with paperwork or people asking questions.” Her mind went to how she read stories where people who didn’t want to deal with the law visited veterinarians instead. “And there it goes. It went straight to your head.” Her arms raised and she draped them around his neck. “Instead of saying it back you pulled an I told you so. Fitting for us.”

Derek

"He's a druid first. It's a species. Like werewolves or fae or antelopes. They hold all kinds of jobs. Deaton just happened to be a vet. His sister was a guidance counselor. All kinds of jobs." His hands made his way to her back, and he pulled a slow smile. "I love you too. Eat your eggs."

Quinn

“Fae? You mean to tell me fairies are real? How about vampires?” This was a serious question though it felt funny to come out of her. Quinn wondered for the fourth or sixth time since Derek revealed his secret if she was dreaming. “A Druid vet and guidance counselor. It’s not at all what I expected but it’s easier to hide in plain sight.” The smile said it all but Quinn didn’t give one in return. “You still haven’t cooked my sausage or put my yogurt in a bowl.” She didn’t need any of these but it was what they did. Anchored against him Quinn rose on her toes and kissed his lips.

Derek

"You think that werewolves are real and fairies aren't? Every country in the world has mythology about the fae. Ghosts aren't real, at least as far as I know. Vampires... I guess it depends on what you think of when you think of a vampire. There are bat shifters. There are Lilitu. Two totally different things." He haplily returned the kiss, tucking a hand under her butt and supporting her a little bit. "I will go down to the store and get some."

Quinn

“I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake anymore. Until a week ago I thought werewolves were a work of fiction but now I know that’s so far from the truth. And I have to laugh because it would be like me to fall in love with one since I’ve not had the best of luck with the men I’ve dated.” Even though two of those breakups were her doing. Which was something she knew she needed to disclose at some point. Someday... “I’ll have you go to the store later. The eggs will be cold by then and I’ll want you to make them again.” She kissed his chest and pulled away from him. “The coffee is ready. I think I’ll take cream and sugar in mine today. I feel indulgent.”

Derek

The cream had to be opened, foil peeled back from it when he took it out of the fridge. He'd bought it just for her, and carefully added enough so that the color approximately matched how he had seen her take her coffee many times before, and then he added some sugar, taking the mug and the plate of eggs to the table. He sat down with the bagel, taking another happy bite. "You say werewolf like it's a character flaw."

Quinn

Quinn thought back to what she said, bowls of fruit salad in hand as she went to set it on the table. “No. It’s not a flaw.” She didn’t think she made it sound like one. Quinn set one bowl down on Derek’s side of the table before she took a seat. With fork in hand she went ahead and gathered some egg but didn’t bring it to her mouth. “Trust me. If I thought it’s a flaw I wouldn’t be here.”

Derek

"You don't accept flaws in your potential partners?" Derek quirked an eyebrow, but the same smile as always was being fought back on his face. "You made it sound like this was something that you were used to. Deadbeat boyfriend, Asshole boyfriend, werewolf boyfriend. The latest in the chain of Quinn's unfortunate life choices." He ripped off another piece of the bagel, scraping up half the jelly as he went.

Quinn

“No, Derek. I expect the people I date to be as flawless as me.” She placed the food into her mouth and chewed the scrambled eggs slowly while she looked at him. “Why do I get the impression you’re saying these things to rile me up? Don’t you dare list yourself as someone I consider a mistake because I will go over there and take the last of that bagel. Then smack you.”

Derek

"So long as you don't smack me with the bagel, I think we're going to be okay. Though, I think I still need a shower. What do you think?" He was still absolutely shimmering with sweat after his jog, and there was still a full order of bodyweight exercises for him to get through before he would even get to the bathroom. "I mean, I think, comparatively, I'm pretty flawless."

Quinn

“On second thought I’ll stay here. I can’t smell you.” She laughed and went for another forkful of the eggs. “I think you should have showered as soon as you walked through the front door. And you’re not flawless. You’re a pain in the ass.” As soon as she said this Quinn laughed, lowering the fork onto the plate to cover her mouth. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

Derek

"A pair is one word for us." Derek ducked his head to hide his smile, tearing off another hunk of bagel with his teeth, just picking it up with his hands this time and going for it. "Yeah, but then you get to see me not holding back on doing push ups. If I towel off, will you sit on my back?"

Quinn

Quinn moved from the eggs to her small bowl of fruit, and she glanced at Derek after the suggestion was made. “I’ve only seen you run and collide with bikes so I don’t know how you held back before.” Something clicked just then. “Your sense of smell, sight and hearing are heightened yet you were still too distracted by me the afternoon you ran into the bike? Was it my scent or seeing me from a distance which caught your attention?”

Derek

Derek hadn't expected to be called out like this before he'd finished his breakfast, and he gave a small cough. He was silent for a couple of beats. "I... was distracted the same way that any red-blooded man would be distracted to be seeing you doing yoga in the park like that. I might be a werewolf, but I'm not a monster."

Quinn

There was still fruit left but Quinn abandoned it for the time being and went over to Derek. She stood behind him and lowered, wrapping her arms around his neck, loosely and lowering down to hug him. Quinn kissed the side of his cheek and smiled against it. “So I turned you on in public?” She had to ask instead of leaving it alone.

Derek

Derek turned back a little, just so that he could see Quinn out of the corner of his eye. The littlest rumble came from his throat. "Turned me on is a bit of a strong word, wouldn't you say?" But he wasn't denying it. He couldn't get to the right angle where he could kiss her from the chair, but he wasn't willing to disturb the grip she had on him.

Quinn

To give him a bit of a hard time, Quinn shifted over and went to Derek’s other cheek; kissing it a few times and had to fight back a laugh with what was said. “Then how would you put it because what you said before made me think you pictured me sexually even before you knew my name.” Her breasts pressed against the back of his shoulders and as much as she teased about Derek needing to shower after his run, she didn’t actually mind how sweaty he got.

Derek

"No one said that it was sexual." He knew that he was fighting a losing war here, but he wasn't going to go down without having given his best. He finally turned around to the side in the chair, bringing her down to kiss him on the lips. It lasted for a few beats before turning back. "What did you think of me, besides that I was an idiot?"

Quinn

"How can it not be sexual when you said red-blooded man. It leads me to view it as you wanted to have a go at me while I was in the middle of one of my positions." She teased, sitting close to him now she was on his lip. Quinn's hand went to the back of Derek's neck and she leaned in to kiss but merely brushed their noses together. "That was it. You nailed it." He hadn't but why should Quinn give away what her actual thoughts were, doing her best to keep her heart rate low because she didn't need her boyfriend to call out her lie.

Derek

Derek felt a little robbed when he wasn't kissed, but he leaned up to meet her lips anyway, after the soft touch of her nose. "Was I at least an attractive idiot?" he asked, touching at her wrist. It was a subtle way to get a better read on her heart, pressed up against te skin like that.

Quinn

She shrugged a shoulder and said, “An alright looking idiot is more like it.” Quinn slipped her wrist away from his hand and went to stand which only lasted a second as she changed her position to straddle his lap. “You may have been distracted when you ran into the bike-“ Quinn’s forearms fell upon his shoulders and her fingers caressed the sides of Derek’s bearded cheeks, “but when I went to check how you and the bicyclist were you must have heard and sensed my reaction to you.” She spoke so easily about one of his abilities, as if everyone could do this. “I couldn’t stop looking at you. The way you had your arms on full display...it made me want to touch you.”

Derek

"See, I'm gathering so much data from this." He wrapped his hands around her, reaching around so that he could pop the very last of his bagel into his mouth. "For example, I didn't know that your eyes went right to my arms. I can just do curls until I die. I never need to do a sit-up again." He pursed his lips just a little to fight off his smile. "What if everyone reacts like that to me? What if I just block it out?"

Quinn

“Don’t you dare stop working out the rest of your body. I expect all of this to be in top shape.” Quinn leaned back and dragged her hands down his chest. How was it he still felt damp from sweat? Quinn’s hands pushed underneath his shirt and touched the skin of Derek’s stomach. “You better keep blocking it out because I’m the only one that matters.” He was so cocky and it made her smile because she liked when he acted this way.

Derek

"Only the best for you, my love." He was a little surprised with himself at how quick the pet name rolled off of his tongue. He groaned against the contact, half expecing the scrape of her nails against one of the few vulnerable spots on his body. "Possessive?"

Quinn

“Did you call me possessive?” She knew he did, nails scraped along his skin while her gaze was on his. “Maybe I am. I place the blame on you.” Her nails went upwards and she laid her palms flat against Derek’s chest; the shirt material collected at her wrists so she could peek down at his body whenever she wanted.

Derek

The second he felt the contact from the nails, he felt an irrational feeling of closeness towards her, because he just knew her so well, felt so connected to her that moment that he had to kiss her, something hard and, yes, possessive curling up inside of him. "Victim blaming. I feel the same way, though."

Quinn

When the kiss came, Quinn fell back momentarily and felt the press of the table against her lower back. It was hard and hungry, a combination which thrilled her. Quinn’s hand curled just enough to scratch his skin; intentionally doing it this time. “How are you the victim?” She asked breathlessly. “I want everyone to know you’re mine.” She didn’t know where this came from or why she said it but she felt that need for him to hear it. “You can wear a shirt which says Quinn’s boyfriend on it.”

Derek

Derek stood up now that he had Quinn against the table, lifting her up the littlest bit until she was resting on top of it. His skin healed quickly over her touch, not even able to leave a mark long enough to see it, as her fingernails would be blocking the way until it was able to heal. "Where are we going to get a shirt like that? And I think we have those in this culture. That's a wedding ring."

Quinn

Up on the table she looked behind her and moved some items out of the way but was interrupted halfway through the clearing. “True. Or a tattoo.” She didn’t anticipate this and thought it over. “You and I both know a proposal is coming. We’ve been talking about our future like a couple people who don’t want to bother with the dating norms.” Her hands went to Derek’s shirt and she pulled it up.

Derek

"I'd get another tattoo, but I have to get it physically burned onto my body with a flamethrower." That knowledge might bring to light the one that was already on his back, and maybe illuminate the lack of detailing or color that really went into it. "You're going to propose to me?" he raised his arms, letting the shirt fall to the floor. "That's so sweet. I was a round diamond the size of a ring pop."

Quinn

“A flamethrower? Are you serious? Why would it take that to get a tattoo?” Quinn’s hands rested in his hips, thinking of the black symbol on his back. “It’s so neat and precise...” she whispered to herself about it. “I have a tattoo. I cover it with makeup everyday to keep from being reminded of it.” Then, with a soft laugh and shake of her head. “You’re too high maintenance, Mr. Hale. I can’t keep up with your luxurious taste.”

Derek

"A flamethrower. My skin heals around the ink. My body has a lot of compensatory measures in place to eject poison. But if you burn something into it, it tends to keep the shape. You might need to get it touched up over time." Hie eyebrows went up, and he grabbed her arm, looking over it. "You have a tattoo? Quinn, I've seen your entire body. What are you talking about? And... fine. If you think so, I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

Quinn

“You do know how ridiculous that sounds don’t you? Not that I don’t believe you and don’t even try to demonstrate it because I doubt I’ll be able to stomach it.” She said, clearly in disbelief. There was so much to take in with what Derek was capable of, how different their bodies were. “I use-“ her hand went up to smooth his raised eyebrows and laughed. “I use some expensive tattoo concealer. I don’t like seeing it as it’s a reminder of a not so great time of my life.”

Derek

Derek did relax his eyebrows, but he was still looking around at Quinn's skin for evidence of any little patch of makeup. He seemed increasingly displeased when he couldn't find anything. "I know. Everything that I say sounds ridiculous. It's not common for werewolves to get tattoos. Mine's special." He scented at her skin, trying to pick out where a smell of concealer might be coming from.

Quinn

There he went on the hunt and Quinn wanted to let Derek carry on, giving him the chance to find it but she decided to throw him a bone and stood up, turning around. A hand went to raise the back of her shirt and the faintest indication that there was something there could be spotted. The tattoo wasn’t as dark as Derek’s which made it easier to cover. “I need to get this removed.” She said, leaving the shirt up. She knew what was coming next and didn’t want to reveal the tattoo to him.

Derek

Derek grabbed one of the napkins off of the holder on the table, licking it and rubbing at the tattoo. It didn't pull off perfectly, being good enough concealer, but enough that he could vaguely see what it was. That only raised his curiosity, and he worked at it a little more. "Is... Is that Jason Bateman?"

Quinn

As expected she felt him wipe at the tattoo and Quinn closed her eyes. Everyone from high school knew about the tattoo, which happened during a time when she struggled with her identity and depression which followed giving Beth up. Why she picked that or what made even think it was ironic to begin with. Also the guy turned out to be a scumbag recently and now she had that inked onto her body. “No.” She blew out a breath and said. “Ryan Seacrest.”

Derek

There were a million questions flooding Derek's mind as he learned the identity of the blobbed face, still mostly covered by the makeup, and he tilted his head to the side a little bit. He walked around so that he could face her properly, and took her hand, kissing the knuckles. "Let's google some tattoo removal clinics."

Quinn

“I considered going to one but I read it hurts. A lot. I’ve been through child birth and-“ she was about to reveal she had a nose job but was that something he needed to know? Then she might have to talk about her days before she transferred to her high school as a whole new Quinn. Leaving Lucy behind in the past. “I’m only making excuses. She admitted. I hope it doesn’t leave a a scar. It’ll be nice to stop applying this cover up every day.”

Derek

"I'll be there to hold your hand." He raised it up a little bit, and squeezed the hand. Maybe it wouldn't be ideal for him to sit there for an hour six times over six weeks, but he was willing to do a lot to make sure that Quinn was happy and comfortable. "We'll find someone really good. We can take our time to research it."

Quinn

She returned to sit on the table, which wasn’t an ideal spot but it kept her high enough for them to look at each other without hurting her neck. “We’ll see after the first session. It might not be as bad as I painted it.” Quinn pulled him over and and stared at him for a good while before she said, “Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you.” This wasn’t easy to admit and for her to do so wasn’t what she expected to do as she was a rather proud woman. With Derek, however, she found herself giving him that glimpse over the sturdy brick wall she constructed over the years.

Derek

That had Derek stepping forward, defeating the point of her not having to arch her neck fairly well, and he moved her legs apart just a little bit so that he could stand between them. "...Yeah?" He was quiet for a beat as he debated whether or not to be exactly as vulnerable and cheesy. But it was never a real debate with Quinn. "I feel the exact same way."

Quinn

With him between her legs, both hands on his bare sides, she drummed her fingers before pressing her forehead to Derek’s shoulder. She needed a moment to compose herself as there was something about this which struck her. “I used to bully people. When I joined the Cheerios, the cheer squad at my high school, and was made head cheerleaders it fueled my need for power. To be on top.” She pulled away from him now and looked up. “I think back on those years and wonder if karma had gotten back at me with everything’s that’s happened.” Her head shook slowly and she dropped her eyes again. Quinn licked her lips and grew quiet. “I don’t see myself as a good person. I’ve been working on it over the years and I’ve talked to my priest about it but I keep thinking that maybe I’m inherently selfish and cold and-“ she took in a breath and scoffed at her own behavior. “mean.”

Derek

Derek related to it all in a way that he couldn't even begin to describe to Quinn. He nodded, unable to look away from her eyes until they broke contact with his. He was fighting every instinct to tilt her chin up and regain the connection. She was going to come back to him when she was ready. "You're not a mean person, Quinn." His voice was even, without an ounce of pity. "You're strong, and self-righteous, and independent, and that wasn't a choice for you. You're not going to let other people make you feel less about yourself because of how they're trying to keep you down."

Quinn

One thing Quinn hated was vulnerability. It was something which developed over the years when she was a little girl who wanted to be taken seriously. In camp, at church, in school. Even at home. It was a constant battle for affection and it wasn’t until she managed to lose a lot of weight and go under the knife, entering McKinley with a new persona, that she got what she’d been chasing. It paid off but it came at a cost, causing her to act in a way which she later regretted. The regret that Derek might be able to get a glimpse of now that she brought her eyes back to his. His understanding warmed her and she thought that maybe he actually did mean it and wasn’t just saying words at her. Which would be a first for him as Derek’s honesty was very prevalent since the beginning. “I won’t. I won’t let anyone do that to me again. I wish I went about it in a different way with certain people.” It took everything inside to not crumble. “You are the best thing to happen to me. My love for you is one I’m completely sure of. You came at a time when I needed someone who can understand where I come from and I hope you feel you’re able to get that with me.”

Derek

Derek nodded, and he couldn't even glance away from her, afraid that this open side of her would be completely gone by the time his eyes made their way back. His hands went to her legs, and he grabbed at their sides a little bit, needing to feel her, real and concrete under him as he heard these words. "I love you too." He leaned in so that he could kiss her, though he was fairly quick about it. "I moved to Amsterdam because I needed a change. I was in a rut. I wanted to get away from my old life, and my guilt, and my mistakes, and be a new person."

Quinn

Her hands went to his shoulders and pushed toward his neck until she comfortably relaxed her arms along the sides of it. “Did it help?” She couldn’t possibly begin to piece together the guilt he must feel, certain it must be something terrible.

Derek

It was terrible, it was a weight that was never more than a moment or two from his mind, and he looked at her with such a softness in his eyes, such appreciation, that it was wonderful that he could stand with the weight of it. He nodded. "I feel like I have a future."

Quinn

To take in the look he gave her, it practically swept aside the contempt thoughts which plagued her on a daily basis. “A future together.” She smiled, it small and yet noticeable. Quinn kissed his lips and kept it longer than the one he gave before as she felt the both of them needed this. She pulled back, but kissed his lips a couple more tiles before she stopped completely. “Maybe I need to stop assuming the worse and accept that there is the possibility of a good life. I thought I was destined to be either alone because,” she laughed at what she was about to say, “I don’t think I’m the easiest person to love for the long term. When we’re together I know, without a doubt, you intend to stay with me. Even when I turn into a bitch about things or give you a hard time. Since it’s in my nature.”

Derek

Derek looked over her face again, one last examining look. She was saying these things, about how she always thought that she would be alone, why she thought so, and... if he had already told her about Kate, about the worst thing that he had ever done, and how she was still here in front of him, Quinn was someone who deserved to know the truth. He took her shoulders lightly, feeling the tone in the air change a bit with the gesture. "...You know how I keep giving you very good reasons to grab the door and run?"

Quinn

“And I keep proving how stubborn I am by making myself further at home.” She replied, tilting her head to the side. This did cross her mind at times, how she’ll have to keep adjusting to life with him. That she hasn’t been through a full moon with him. Or...she had but didn’t realize it. The night at the club came to mind and Quinn recalled the way he seemed and how he wasn’t happy with what happened to her. Quinn looked at him and waited, keeping quiet about the memory.

Derek

"Stubborn is one word for it." He sighed, but there was no exasperation behind it. He looked down at her shoulders, his hands, one of the places that they were connected at the moment, because looking at her in the face sometimes felt just like looking at the sun. "I killed someone. A long time ago."

Quinn

This caused her breath to catch in her throat and Quinn assumption the guilt must be attached to something terrible came to fruition. She was sure he picked up the change in her pulse but what kept her from moving away from him was the way Derek had carried himself with her and everyone he’s been in contact with. He didn’t strike her as some sort of stone-cold killer. “What happened?” She chose to ask. In need of the story.

Derek

Derek's eyes closed. It had taken a long time for him to piece the events of the night together, blinded by how his mind had tried to shut as much of it out as possible, pieced together by Peter's timeline and his mother's memories through his eyes of what had happened. "...Her name was Paige. I was fifteen years old. I... had someone give her the bite. A stranger. I didn't tell her. I didn't ask her. I just did it. And she was dying. So I... broke her spine." His voice stayed even, even as he felt the snap of the bones underneath his hands, something that he felt at least once a day.

Quinn

“Why did you ask someone to give her the bite?” When Derek spoke of the bite to her before he made it very clear it wasn’t something which needed to be done. That it has the potential to kill you. Quinn’s hands went to Derek’s cheeks and she brushed the side of her thumbs along the grain of his beard. Her heart hurt from the expression he wore and she knew this was a heavy burden of his.

Derek

Derek's stomach clenched at the question. It was something that he asked himself a lot. "...I wanted her to be like me." He opened his eyes finally, looking up at her. "The same things I've told you. I wanted her to be strong. To heal. To not get sick. I was afraid she'd leave when she found out what I was. These were all things people were warning me about. I didn't know..."

Quinn

“People told you she would leave if she found out the truth?” Quinn remembered how fifteen was and how impressionable you can be of how bad choices were usually done with the encouragement of others. Beth was the result of wine coolers which led to sleeping with one of Finn’s friends. This was on a whole other plain and she didn’t drop her hands. “Did you know there was the possibility of death before you asked someone to bite her?”

Derek

Derek nodded. "...Yeah. I... one of the things I remember most clearly is my uncle Peter telling me that... Gods, it all sounds so stupid and insignificant now. He would tell me that the perfect ones always left when they found out. "It wasn't the first time in my life I'd heard it. We were cautious around humans. We protected ourselves. ...I knew. It could happen to old people, sick people... babies. No one could have expected it to happen to her."

Quinn

Quinn’s hands went to his shoulders now and she made sure their eyes were connected. “You were fifteen and listened to someone who you thought you can rely on. It cost someone’s life and it’s-“ she placed herself in that girl’s shoes. Bitten without knowing why and only dying once the pain got to be done, due to a mercy kill from the person who set it in motion. Quinn let a shuddery breath out and hadn’t realized her gaze fallen until she looked at him again. Her hazel eyes shone with tears which threatened to spill over the last hour. “You loved her. You wanted to be with her completely and thought the only way to make it possible is if she was like you.”

Derek

Derek wanted to look away, look down, break this gaze, but he felt stuck to the ground, the same way he would if he had been facing his mother or his sister, his alpha, someone with complete contrpl over him. He nodded a little; that was all that he could do. "...she wasn't a... life lesson. She wasn't just my girlfriend. She was a person. She was a concert cellist. She had two older brothers. She loved The Wizard of Oz."

Quinn

Her lips pressed together and Quinn found her lower lip trapped underneath her teeth, releasing it slowly. Her arms went down and slipped around Derek’s middle and brought him completely to her. She pushed her hands up the middle of his back for a moment before she brought her right one back to his neck and slid it upwards to his head. Quinn pulled Derek down so she could hug him as best as she could, guiding his forehead to her shoulder while she kept a hold of him. “You didn’t mean for it to happen, Derek. You thought she was strong enough to survive the bite. You made a mistake of going against your better judgment and forced a life you weren’t even sure she wanted. But you didn’t mean for her to die.” She said, keeping her voice low while her own tears finally spilled.

Derek

Derek felt torn in several different directions when Quinn tilted his head into her shoulder. Whether to stand up and comfort her, because he could tell that her chemosignals where going crazy, or to pull away and change the topic, or... He had it decided for him when a powerful tremble came from somewhere deep inside of him, and it rolled into a full-body shudder againsf her embrace. "No. I... I've never meant to hurt anyone."

Quinn

Her hand stroked his back and didn't say anything while she held Derek close. Her cheek nuzzled against his hair and temple, turning every so often to kiss these very spots. There was still a lot to process with what he revealed to her but right now she wanted him to know she was here. She was going to listen and place herself in his shoes. She wanted to be more than his girlfriend, as Quinn wanted Derek to know she was his friend as well. "What happened to her after you broke her spine?" She could have left the question for later but chose not to.

Derek

Derek felt his bile rise at the question, at the memory, but the less primal part of him realized that it was valid, and that this was something that he needed to talk about with Quinn. But that didn't stop him from gripping just a little tighter, to stop his hands from shaking. "...Peter took her from me. I still don't know how he knew that I was there, or what happened. He took her into the woods, near our home, where someone would find her. Everyone... thought that it was an animal attack."

Quinn

"That's-" she thought of the right word to use here though chose to go with the one which came to mind, "terrible. To be found in the woods. For her family to think of their daughter out there on her own with questions as to why she was there in the first place." Quinn kept the rest of her comments to herself as she knew it wasn't helping. "Was there a funeral?" She hoped there was and that the bite was done in a place where it wouldn't keep it fr- Even thinking about this caused Quinn to closed her eyes and cry a little more. It was a lot.

Derek

There was another one of those deep rolling shudders, the nauseous feeling doing nothing to be eased away. He pulled back and swiped across his face a little bit. "There was a funeral," he said, remembering the day. "I... I didn't go. What right did I have to look her parents in the eye and..." he swallowed the rest of his sentence down. "I dropped out about a week later."

Quinn

Quinn knew something about not attending funerals for someone she loved but she didn't dare bring that up with Derek right now. Instead her hands returned to Derek's cheeks hands covering part of the dark beard which she preferred over clean shaven. "With what happened? No, it would have been wrong to be at the funeral but you needed that time to say goodbye. Grieve. To unload everything that's accumulated inside you since the moment the bite was planned." Quinn kept such a soft and understanding voice as she spoke, tear tracks evident on her pale cheeks. "This is such a tragic story and I wish I can help soothe the pain." Her brows came together and she licked her lips. "Do you want to visit her when we got to the states?"

Derek

It was one of those moments where Derek was sure that he didn't deserve the touch, shouldn't have someone in front of him right now, witnessing this and being forced to say these pitying things. He squared his shoulders off, picking his head up fully, jaw cracking a bit as he stretched it from where it had been so tense before. "...If we go to Maryland... I like to spend my time with Peter there."

Quinn

"The uncle who told you to bite Paige?" Quinn didn't think she would like this man if she ever met him, which was inevitable as she wanted to meet all of his family. The way Derek stood now felt different than before and she lowered her hands and folded them in her lap. "Will you want me to stay elsewhere?"

Derek

"He was my best friend. And it's not like he knew any better either." He felt this surge of defensiveness for Peter, and he realized that Quinn might not know. He might not have told her, or she might not remember. He was always throwing so much at her. "Peter's been in... he's essentially in a coma since the fire. He doesn't show a lot of brain activity. That's your decision."

Quinn

How could she forget...? Quinn needed to have a sit down and piece together everything Derek shared since they first started to talk, as there was so much happening and the amount of names which swirled in her head felt as if they jumbled together: Peter, Laura, Paige, Eric, Kayla, Cora...She wasn't sure if that was everyone and didn't even count Carter as he was here in Amsterdam. "No. I'll stay with you. I-" she didn't want to admit this, "it slipped my mind." She sounded defeated because she hated not keeping track of all the important things in his life.

Derek

Derek didn't know how to keep track of what had happened in those formative years of his life. So much of it was a blur, and omission from the sheer trauma of it all. "...i really appreciate that." He leaned over and kissed her quickly. "I know. I know. It's a lot."

Quinn

“Derek,” she started and looked into his eyes. There was a sadness she never seen before and she wondered if it was always there and she hadn’t picked up on it. “What happened was a mistake and it cost the life of someone you love. But it doesn’t mean you’re a monster. A terrible person. You were young and you felt you were giving her a life she would have wanted. A life with you.” Both her hands took his. “To take her life wasn’t easy. I know it wasn’t as you most likely hoped her body would take the bite at the last possible second but,” her eyes shimmered with unfallen tears. “it’s what needed to be done to save her from any more pain. Paige was with you in her final moments and as sad and heartbreaking it was you were with her. She didn’t die alone because I’m sure that girl loved you as much as you loved her.”

Derek

He held her close now, hands going around her back, and he watched her for a couple of seconds, his eyes shining a little bit. "I know. I know. I've... had a lot of time to think about this. Half a lifetime. I'm alright. I get through it. I know that... everything's going to be alright. "And I just need to move forward, Quinn."

Quinn

“Just like you said before. You feel like you have a future and I hope it’ll be one you want with me.” Was this really the time to bring this up? Derek shared something personal, something many would see as terrible and probably unforgivable but Derek shown his heart to her and how good a man he is. “There is something I should let you know. I didn’t know how to bring this up because it’s never a good time to, but I feel this is our chance to be up front with each other. To make sure this is what we want.”Even thinking it made her stomach clench and she took a deep breath. “I cheated one two of my boyfriends. I cheated on Finn and on Sam.” She didn’t want to continue but did. “I got pregnant with Beth by Finn’s friend Puck.”

Derek

Derek took a couple of seconds to process that. She had cheated on Sam? And they were still friends? Had that been what had broken them up? She'd gotten pregnant when she had treated on her boyfriend? He thought about how to react for a few seconds. "...I couldn't imagine that. Especially at fifteen... sixteen... you must have felt so alone."

Quinn

Quinn opened her mouth a promptly closed it because she didn’t know how to follow that up. A hand went to comb through her blonde hair and she took in a lungful of air before releasing it slowly. “When I cheated on Finn I was so caught up with being popular and being the center of attention. I wasn’t very popular or well-liked before I went to McKinley and it went right to my head. Then things happened with Puck. I was drunk and he told me to trust him, which was so unbelievably stupid. I couldn’t even own up to what I did when I found out I was pregnant and I made Finn think he aaa the dad even when we’ve never had sex.” Quinn had to pause with this. “I told you. I’m not a good person. A good person wouldn’t do this to someone.” She hates the fact she was crying over this when it was her own doing for this happening in the first place.

Derek

Derek nodded. These weren't problems that he could understand, and he forced himself to listen, instead of solve and sympathize, which seemed to open be how he brute-forced his way through these types of issues. He looked her in the eyes when she gave him a chance, and his thumb came up to wipe away at a tear. At this point, it seemed like sticking his finger into a dam. "You were sixteen years old, and you were trying to make the best decision, even if it wasn't the right one, even if you knew that at the time. You were in desperate circumstances. You're not the same person you were then."

Quinn

She wasn’t and she knew this. She’d grown from her mistakes and learned from so much pain which shaped her into the woman who sat before Derek. She was still strong, stubborn, and maybe arrogant at times but she also came into herself and didn’t allow her thoughts to steer her into situations which would not only hurt the ones she cared for. But herself as well. She nodded at last and reached for him. There was so much more she wanted to say but the tears and the things they said to each other left her mentally exhausted. “God. Look at us.” Her hand went to swipe at the tears and Quinn tried to do what she always did whenever to cried; brush it aside and act as if nothing happened. Though, “I think we did something that most couples don’t do until well into their relationships.”

Derek

"Since when are we most couples?" Derek asked, but even through his soft smile, he knew that she had a point. They hadn't even officially been dating for a month, and he already had ideas that Quinn's friends didn't like, he was sure, that he knew Carter didn't like, and... well, if he hadn't told Laura yet, then it was sure to not be a very good idea. But it didn't stop him from wanting it. "You wanna walk with me to class?" There was a train ride in there, but most of the walk was peaceful, and made all the better if Quinn was there.

Quinn

Quinn smiled which felt foreign at this point. She wanted to tell Derek to not go to his classes but it was towards the end of his semester and she wouldn’t dare encourage him to jeopardize his education. “I walk sounds nice.” She said at last, kissing him. “You don’t plan to shower? I think it’s my duty as your girlfriend to order you to take a quick one.”

Derek

"Can't I just pretend to be fifteen for the day?" Derek asked, thinking about how he was going to have to walk out of the room, away from this bubble, and not being too excited at the prospect. "Get a can of body spray down at the corner store? My deodorant is Hermes. No one's ever going to smell me." He pressed their foreheads together quickly. "Besides, I don't care what anyone else thinks."

Quinn

“No. I rather you don’t because I’m the one who has to smell you while we’re together.” She placed her hands on his chest and backed away. Quinn walked around him and gave Derek a light, playful swat on the ass. “Come on. We’ll get one together. I’ll even let you wash my body.”

Derek

"You think that's going to be a quick shower?" But there wasn't any hint of complaining in his voice. At some point, Derek had bought shorts that were actually appropriate for running, and they made their way fast to the hard floor of the kitchen as he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the stairs.

Quinn

When his shorts hit the floor Quinn shook her head because that was the fastest she’d seen him undress. “As long as we don’t wet my hair then we can be in and out.” With the way Derek bounded up the steps she knew it’d be faster if he just flung her over his shoulder.

Derek

Derek was right there with her, spending half of his time on the same wavelength as her. He lifted her up when they hit the stairs, taking them two at a time, even though that wasn't where he maxed out. He was still used to hiding that part of himself around her, away from home. "You good?" He set her down as they hit the top.

Quinn

It wasn’t over his shoulder but it still left Quinn breathless from the momentary thrill which came from the sprint. “I am.” She pushed her hair away from her face and walked away from Derek. They should hold off with the sex until later, after she processed everything which happened today but she also wanted that connection with him. Quinn pulled her shirt off and tossed it by the bed and made quick work of her sports bra. The tattoo on her lower back was partially visible from where Derek uncovered it and Quinn went straight to the bathroom. “You better hurry up.” She teased.

#para: derek #murder tw #death tw #cheating tw #infidelity tw

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