#My medicine makes me sleep for days
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So bascially... I know I haven't posted for like a million years but I'm finally back. Sleep has been hitting me every day that I have slept for three days straight, my body hurts and feels numb at the point, my medicine is making me feel fucked up, I have already went to the mental hospital with my Rob plush (again), and to top it off, my room is a damn mess.
But I went back home a few days ago, I'm started to feel.. a tiny.. tiny.. TINY bit better. So, I'm okay.. for now. (Credits to the owner who made this, this is just a drawing on how I am feeling)
Oh, and here's a sketch I made like, a month ago or so (I made emo Rob ^^)
Oh, the person who's holding a rob plush in their hands is me. Just a doodle out of emotion.
#my art#tawog rob#My body hurts#i'm back#i'm very tired#i feel like i'm dying#my head is killing me#rob the amazing world of gumball#Ugh...#The fact that I only sleep good with my TV playing music#I just drank some wine a while ago and I feel like I fell off my stairs#Help#I'm seeing things#I haven't eaten for days#My medicine makes me sleep for days#Hi
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daily whistlepaw until bu becomes PoV day 1098
Songleap showing off the cool bug she found
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#songleap#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#warrior#bugs make me uncomfortable and I find that so sad and annoying at the same time#I wanted to look at pictures of beetles found in the UK but goddamn I felt uncomfortable the whole time#so I give you a *very simplified* stag beetle because more details would not be too pleasant now#maybe I should therapise myself by drawing detailed bugs#but not when 1. sleep deprived and 2. I have other urgent matters (aka EXAMS)#I've been tired all day. it is bullshit and I want a refund. I haven't studied today yet and when writing this it is already 8 pm#I know my days are shifted and I am usually active until around 4 am but stilll...#not happy#but I'll add detailed bugs in the projects list#alongside HUMANS and backgrounds (I want to test the lined bg thing again)
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I think my niece and nephew gave me a head cold for Christmas
#save me Phantom and Miss Christine-#spent all of yesterday collapsed on the couch and in and out of sleep#because my head felt like a cinderblock#fiance is also sick but either his version isn't hitting him as hard or I'm being a baby#he actually took cold medicine tho so maybe it's that#explains how I went from like 1k+ words a day to 300 at best#I am crawling across the floor and shaking my phone#I have Ideas please brain make them cohesive enough to write down-
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Blowing up got a flat tire and I have 0 moneys now
Yeagh I drew that in Walmart just now
#ARRUGHHHHHHHHHHB#salad says!#sorry for complaining but this whole situation is a mess#i got a flat because i cant fill ny tires up on ny own because it hurts a lot#then i asked ny dad for help getting air ao he didnt have to worry about paying me back the full 200 from his dogs vet bill#and then he just. never did. because i sleep on ny days off. even though hes taken my van without permission before#and its been a week now thumbs up and he never did it#there goes 120 bucks. that i barely had#then i gotta make cookies for a work party because i am not doing store bought like everyone else and i asked him if we had ingredients#and HE NEVER TOLD ME!!!! so i am having to waste a lot of money guessing#on top of that for the past couple months hes told me nonstop not to gwt anything for him for Christmas and now 5 days before Christmas hes#like - can you buy me this thing that costs 160 bucks like NO!!! i already got you something and i font have the money#he isnt even going to get me anything he refuses to even look wt me#and this is all after last night he told me he hasnt been even giving hexum (dog) the proper dosage of his medicine wnd yesterday he just .#didnt.#like do you want the dog youve told me you love more than me to have another seizure and die???#at least make a freaking effort. and the reason why i had to take him to the vet is because he WOULDNT#he has 2 seizures back to back while he was off work and didnt care!!!!!!!!!!!#then he had a third so i took him and ye made a huge deal out of it not mattering#sorry this week has been a lot#vent#i just want yo say this was all after his stupid gf left the front door wide open and murr went missing for nearly 6 days and he#yelled at me for being upset abd sad and he didnt even bother to help
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I've avoided buying sleeping pills ever since last year's "incident", but I can't take being kept up anymore. I have to wake up at around 1 in the morning for work and I can't get enough sleep if I'm purposely kept awake until 10 pm.
#my sister likes to play loud music and movies and yell all at the same time#she sits in her room all day until it is time for me to sleep#only when i lie down is when it is time to return to monke#i can do nothing to make her be quiet she thinks its funny when i complain#but maybe medicine will help#i won't take them all at once like last time...
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another vent in the tags ugh i should try and do something nice rn
#my pains got so bad again that i threw up again#it's tiring because. i can't even eat atp without worrying about whether it'll make me feel so nauseous i throw up#the doctors wanted to try another new medicine but its put straight in the rear and. shouldnt be shit out. and. yknow. IBD ....#so i obviously do shit it out like immediately ... bcus i cant help it#i probably have to call them on monday to let them know ive started throwing up too#couldnt even go upstairs today without taking breaks bcus of the stomach pains#and theres so much blood all the time#i need to. think about something to distract myself from this bcus i know i shouldnt be ashamed of my condition and i cant help it#but im ashamed anyway and im frustrated and hate myself because i cant do anything else but lie down rn. cant even sleep for the most part#i get like 2 hours sleep max in a day#i kinda wanna draw my apex oc but i suck at designs and idk how to design her clothes LMAOAOA#just wanna draw her interacting w people tbh#also i want more alter content but idk what to make#i just love her
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nye fic gonna be late bc ofc I spontaneously develop a horrendous cough on new years eve n my brain stops working
#coughed so hard my nose started bleeding earlier that was fun#medicine is making me lethargic as hell i have to sleep#by the end of new years day maybe. if im lucky#want it to be good for my baby seth#goldie yaps ♡
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HELL YEAH
MEDICINE POCKET IS THE HOTTEST POCKETS!!!
The character development from “little person” to “hot pockets” omg, woe, waow, beautiful, incredible
I wish I could’ve gone from little to hot, but I just went from person to pockets😔
Teeth images is still teeth images tho (but she doesn’t need to change)
The post I’m referencing
#me when I don’t make sense:#this post doesn’t make any sense and idc I’m going to sleep after this#NO BUT ALSO#PINTEREST IS STARTING TO GET IT RIGHT#I will start calling them hot pockets and only the strongest soldiers will be surviving that one#fear the day I make that post#medicine pocket? rabbit fur pocket? hot pocket?#WHAT POCKET CANT THEY BE?#just me and my brain juices#medicine pocket
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youtube
#diana's music diary#🌨️#okay I actually do feel better now#good morning :3#sleep is the cure to all#yesterday I spent the day helping my partner set up her DAW so she could stream with it#and then also set up a cobblemon mod pack for us 😊#it's not actually done yet but it's pretty much there#just needs some finishing touches#will maybe skim it a little today too idk#there are probably some unnecessary parts I added yesterday in my hyperfocus so idk#it went surprisingly well and smooth though#feel like I got some things done yesterday which is always nice#sleeping at a reasonable time works? what?#who would have thought......#I'm still having a lot of trouble actually staying asleep actually but it's working either way somehow.. I'm used to being tired so it's ok#thinking about it the only bad part of yesterday was a panic attack near the end and being in pain...#that doesn't sound like a good thing but for me lately especially that's actually good.#let's try to make today fun and cozy and painless...#will make sure to take my pain medicine#if you are reading this I hope your day is good especially too n_n#also on the music... I think I'm on my touhou music shit again... been listening to Koishi music a lot and this one Alice album...
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i've done all my exams! now just to work on a semester long project in the span of several days. yayyyyyyyyyyy
#i've got a general outline of what i wanna say#i just need to like. script it and record it and make sure me and my gf have enough time to edit it into something presentable#(and by 'me and my gf' i mean my gf because she's very nice and talented and filled with knowing how to do things and willing to help me)#i should probably work on it tonight but also i missed a pain med dose while taking my second exam of the day on like 5 hours of sleep#so i'm uh. not exactly in a good place for focusing and i know if i try i'll just end up beating myself up and dreading the project tomorro#so instead i'm gonna try and go into it tomorrow with a decent amount of sleep and also keep up with my medicine timing
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you only do the things you do for me out of obligation
#that's the difference between you and me.#u do something to help me and only stay as long as you need to and do just enough for u to check it off as task completed#and then u leave. always.#you don't actually enjoy spending time with me or anything. you just want to makd sure i stay alive#and it's frustrating because it just makes me feel guilty and shitty and want him to stop it and leave me alone forever.#like when your friend is away and leaves you in charge of their pet so you come by to feed them whenever you remember#like yh u care on some level because it's a cute dog and you'd be sad if it died but at the end of the day#it's just another item on ur to do list.#but for me hes my whole life. i wanna look after him because i would do anything to increase my interaction with him in any way#and i love every second of it. im happy to force him to go and make his food and sit down and eat because i like spending that time w him#and i want to be there for him. i genuinely enjoy it#like making sure he eats and takes his medicine when hes sick and encouraging him to sleep at a normal time#i genuinely like doing that stuff bc i like him and i will jump at the chance to have anything to do with him#but when he does similar stuff it just feels. awkward. we don't talk like we normally do and it just feels like he's monitering me#and it doesn't feel like we're spending time together. it feels like he's carrying out an obligation. which he is.#it feels so fucking wrong and uncomfortable. i cant stand it#i like when im helping him. that feels so natural#it's never awkward and i can enjoy spending that time with him#until im forced to leave#. fuck#❣
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Smoking real weed after only vaping for two days slayyyyyy I ❤️ weed but I also ❤️ not smoking around my bird so he lives a full life
#laying in the living room in a big soft blanket with my dog next to me smoking weed and watching Rick and morty after also not watching Rick#and morty in like a week and so I’m like :))) watching the rixty minutes episode and thinking about making food#idk what I want to eat. I want fancy food tbh. maybe I’ll make toast with goat cheese and raspberry preserves and honey for lunch#and a cup of tea and I can journal and cuddle my dog while I eat#hmmm :) daydreaming about life while not moving bc I’m comfy#my eyes are practically closed already. I might nap. I love indicas. I need to start vaping during the day and only smoking at night for#sleep. if I use actual bud for more medicinal and only use my vapes for fun bc they dint hit me as full body as real weed#I want a bagel but we dint have any :(((#if I could eat anything rn I would be six or seven at my grandmothers house eating a pudding and cool whip layered cup thingy in her fancy#cups with stems and I would have my special cup with the colored fruit marshmallows in my hot chocolate#showering with my princess cup in the bath#I might cry. I want to be small again. I don’t want to be grown up I want it all back and my dad is dead fuck. :’(((((#weed u have betrayed me I hate it when weed accidentally unlocks my feelings
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Feeling somewhat accomplished
#i have a metric shit ton of homework to catch up on#but I managed to get a whole chapter done tonight#i feel mildly like crap but i also feel good for getting that much done#hung out with some new friends so that helped#im tired though#no idea how long it'll take me to sleep#but probably a bit because i took my adhd medicine out of desperation for focus#but hey it worked?#it seems like this was the roughest chapter i had to catch up on too#so that's good too#reunited with someone i haven't talked to in ages#it's been great#wish i reached out sooner tbh#apparently we were both mutually waiting for the other to be ready lol#but we're hanging out again and i now remember why we clicked so easily before#it's been fun#looking forward to hanging out with them more often#they've been very accommodating too#i joined their server and they've tried to make that as smooth as possible#the history is complicated#id run out of tags before i could finish#but yeah#that's been my last couple days#mainly throwing this out there so a certain someone gets an update on what's up without having pressure to respond (love you hun 💚)#but also just wanted to shout this out to my moots who might like hearing about things like this#anyways running out of tags#later y'all
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Why is it when I always want to do something cool is when I have fiddy assignments due tomorrow night
#SPOWTS#like I wanna actually write that fucking hfjone tlou fic I’ve been trying to revamp and listen to more and fucking MOVE#but no I have other shit to do#and the thing is is that I physically cannot do anything else until these assignments are done#I will feel empty if they’re not done#and procrastinate when I stop because I remember what it’s like to have fun again#Saturdays aren’t really part of the weekend for me anymore more than it is an extension to get shit done#Sundays are usually the one day I get off but it goes by too fast and that’s assuming I get everything done by Sat night even though#I’ve been working on this stuff since Friday night#AND I’m sick so I decided to stay home ONE day instead of forcing myself to go to school#and I fall behind by so much or I simply don’t understand the work we’re doing by the next day#a never ending cycle#I’ve been tired all day yet I cannot sleep nor take that coughing medicine (which makes me fall asleep) because of all of this#it’s sad#but it’s my own little hell#I’ll probably never escape#but eh#survive till summer right?#is this a vent#I think it’s a vent#sorry gang will shut up now
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"while hashimoto's thyroiditis may increase the risk of chronic hives, not everyone who has hashimoto's will get hives" fuck you. why couldn't that be me
#chatty!#i hate so much that my body decided not only that it'd pick up a new symptom but that the symptom would be fucking HIVES#it's been ongoing for a while now. since we got the windows done. like off and on. the drywall dust set it off i think#bc i literally never in my life have ever had hives before then and now they're just a thing i get to deal with sometimes#the ones NOW. it's been consistent for the past few days. i'm SICK of it and nothing worksssssss to make them chill#extremely sick and twisted that with how long it's been going on i look into what i can do about it now and then#bearing in mind i do not have health insurance <3 LOL#but antihistamines obviously right. mfw one of the medications i was on when they first started was literally an antihistamine.#medicine don't work topical anti itch cream don't work girl at this point take the bitch out she's doing more harm than anything for me#or don't take her out bc apparently it's underactive. wake her ass up!!!!!!#that one's always really funny too i was so shocked when they said hypo. i have symptoms of both hyper and hypo <3#because my body wants me to suffer and die forever and ever. ur hurting urself too stupid ass we're literally on the same team. bitch#anyway goodnight i have work in the morning. let's see if i can sleep
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Honestly, I always thought that being able to recover from a fever within only 3 days or something was a thing for healthy people since their bodies recover faster cuz it always take me 5 days or more to recover from a fever but turns out that I just REALLY SUCK AT RESTING. Cuz day 2 of being sick and I already feel waaay better like whoa... never thought something like this would happen to me.
#aria rants#my fever returned for a bit but medicine helped and my cold is slowly going away too like! already??? its day 2!#technically day 3 cuz its 12 am now but still! ALREADY??? WHOA! all it took was... learning im a system and gaining headmates...#cuz honestly if its just me i wouldnt have spent a whole day in bed sleeping and resting. id be stubborn and still go bout my day#as if i dont feel horrendously sick and proceed to make myself more sick cuz of that but turns out resting for a whole day WORKS! WHOA!#and like-- rn i wanna stay awake some more cuz i wanna get back sooome hours from when i just slept the day away#yesterday but aly and vita wont let me... i wanna stay awake till 2 or 3 but they wont let me... tbf i still feel slightly sick#and im still in the process of recovering like-- im not Fully Recovered yet and im alrdy falling back into unhealthy stuff#so fair... i should still keep resting until im fully recovered... so yea ill be sleeping early tonight yall!
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