#My first bioware character

[burloire]

I forced myself to stop drawing bad fan art of Solas and my Lavellan and to finally put my Cousland to uh...digital paper....? Anyway, Hi its Adeliade Cousland (goes by Adel), she is the Ferelden Dog Lord all Orlesians hate. The only thing she loves More than her Mabari and Ferelden is Alistair. She can and will destroy the world to protect him. Currently fighting the Calling by sheer willpower, because if she dies she doesn't believe anyone else can protect her dumbass husband (affectionate.) I was planning on doing a ripple water effect on her grey warden look since she's currently Queen-Warden-Commander etc but I put too much detail into it to just...do that. Separate and not flipped editions below the cut. :)

[fattylime]

House of Pavus 🥀

[larkoneironaut]

My headcanon is that Spite manifests as a cute and slightly creepy lil crow instead of a Lucanis clone - he‘s also the biggest Rookanis shipper, a wingman, literally

He‘s screaming KISS in Lucanis head, btw, that‘s why he‘s looking at Noita‘s lips 🤭

[wizardsix]

I can't be the only one who thinks it's so lame that spite ultimately had 0 effect on lucanis whereas the writers made anders suffer for just wanting to live.

[vaguely-concerned]

I would like to extend some hearty congratulations to the sebastian vael stans for your boy finally getting his day in the sun with all the cool shit he's pulling off in the background in veilguard. you guys have stayed steadfast and true through some lean and unpropitious times, you deserve to have this

[ellie-shy]

I get it. I understand Lucanis now. I understand him. So. Much.

I just finished his quest Inner Demons and locked into his romance. And I cried. I legit cried while doing his personal quest. Because I felt it. It felt so personal, to Lucanis, and to myself.

I'm gonna pour my heart out under the cut because Lucanis has just ranked up so high into one of my favourite fictional characters ever. And that means a lot to me.

When I played my first playthrough (and of course avoiding spoilers) I saved Minrathous. And I was devasted to see how Treviso looked in the aftermath. Then, Lucanis was hardened. I know that there will be consequences with Luc's arc but I was not sure what it will be. So, after finishing the other companions' personal quest and getting the Hero of Veilguard for everyone... except Lucanis. I really thought after defeating Illario I would get the Hero status with him, but nooooo. Only after finishing the main quest, I got it. But, I felt something was... missing. Something was missing with Luc's arc, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Thus, I finished my first playthrough.

Understandable, I did hardened Lucanis. But it got me so curious... what was it that's missing in Lucanis's personal questline?

Then I made my dear dwarven Grey Warden warrior Rook : Juliet Thorne, to romance him.

And I finally got to the Inner Demons quest, a quest that I never done before (and also tried so hard to avoid spoilers before doing it 😂).

Hold my hand while I confess this. I cried. I really cried when doing Inner Demons. This is what I was missing in my first playthrough?? Helping Lucanis escaped from his inner prison???

Inner Demons felt so personal. Like deeply personal. My Rook is actively involving herself into Lucanis's deep and personal thoughts. And you know what made me cry even more? This quest felt personal to me too.

I also understand Spite now!!! Why he wants OUT!! He didn't just want to go out in the world through Lucanis, he can't even go out of the Ossuary that Lucanis has made for himself, his own turmoil and guilt 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I get it now 😭 Oh God do I get it now (still crying btw).

Spite wanted to go out and it knows that they aren't in the Ossuary anymore, but why does Spite keep seeing the Ossuary? That is what made Spite so frustrated! Until Spite was desperate enough to ask for Rook's help because Spite knows, Rook "opens doors, never closing them" 😭 Spite knows the only way to get through Lucanis, is through Rook.

Lucanis, has made a giant wall to protect himself from everyone. Including Spite. He self-isolates, to the point of pushing Rook away. But he didn't mean it. Lucanis has a heart of gold. He is kind, he remembers my Rook's chocolate drink, he cooks for everyone, he considers Emmrich's vegetarian preferences, he buys things for the team, he isolates himself in the pantry because he doesn't want to cause trouble to anyone. He is a selfless bastard that's willing to sacrifice his happiness and comfort for everyone around him. Why? Because he thinks he doesn't deserve it. 😭 This mindset has developed after years of trauma. Years of training and torture... so he can be perfect. If he can't be perfect (which is the very high standard and expectation that he has set for himself), then he can never have happiness. At least that's what he thought. And I get it, because I have this trauma too.

This is why he punished himself so much. He was rescued by Rook and lived, but has a demon inside him. His city is saved, but at the cost of Neve's city. He made a god bleed, but didn't kill the god as per the contract. He killed Zara, his abuser, but he was devastated that Illario, his family, was involved. Every single time, everytime Lucanis thought he had a moment of victory/happiness, it will be at the cost of another he cared for. And he punished himself again, and again. Trying so hard to solve his own problems without involving anyone, and never asking for help. And that's why he pushed Rook away, he can't lose another person he cared for. Because he is such a selfless man!

I felt this, his trauma, fear and anxiety, I can relate with Lucanis. This feeling will eat you from the inside. It will make you develop a sense of self-hate, low self-esteem, not being satisfied with everything you have done and etc etc. It will drown you, literally, within your own spiral of self-hate. I cried while playing the Inner Demons quest, because it felt so personal to me too, as if I'm drowning again. But visualizing it with Lucanis this time. And hey, the Ossuary is an underwater prison. Lucanis is drowning.

And it's hard, you know. Because you will feel like no one is gonna help you other than yourself. Yet, you can't even save yourself. Lucanis couldn't save himself.

Until Rook.

The way that Lucanis just kept pushing her away, but my Rook just kept breaking down every single wall he built. Reassuring him, acknowledging him, supporting him, validating him, every step of the way. Rook didn't give up on him. Rook cares for him, so deeply. And nothing can stop her from reaching to Lucanis. Lucanis was so scared to lose Rook, or something would happen -- but Rook knows, it's gonna be okay.

I cried again because... to have someone like Rook, who willingly bring down every wall you make, carefully guiding you out of the place that's drowning you... that's special. That's very special. Rook is so special to Lucanis. Whether he was romanced or not, Rook is special. I was so happy for Lucanis, he has found someone, that will bring down his walls, that rescued him from drowning, that reassures him that he is enough. Because he is enough. And he will be okay.

This quest is so personal to me. Lucanis is a fictional character that resonates with me, so deeply. I understand him better now, because I see myself in Lucanis, and the experience he has been through are so similar with mine irl (minus being possessed ofc haha). It felt so validating, knowing that I am not alone. But don't worry about me, I'm in my own healing journey too <3 The moment I bawled my eyes out was when reading his thoughts fragments. My actual thoughts that time was "why does these thoughts sound so much like mine?".

Now I finally understand what was missing in my 1st playthrough. Knowing Lucanis, he built a wall to Rook, because he just lost his city. He has to put his guard up to Rook because he knows, no one will save him. Eventhough, in the end, he does trusts Rook, but not enough to bring his walls down. And that's valid, because I would do the same.

This is what makes his romance so meaningful and deep. He is vulnerable to a romanced Rook. He trusts Rook wholeheartedly. Literally, placing his heart on his hands and presenting it to them. Rook freed him from his inner demon (which was actually, himself), and guess what happens next? Lucanis would literally worship the ground Rook walks on. Let me tell you something, to achieve this level of trust in a relationship with someone like Lucanis, is otherworldly. I can't explain how meaningful Rook is to Lucanis. Perhaps even Rook wouldn't know how important they are to Lucanis. Only Lucanis knows how much Rook means to him. And me, the player.

Lucanis is a man that's going to treat you right. He would cook for you, he would take care of you, he would waste his time with you, he would do anything you ask. He would live for you, he would die for you, he would kill any gods you ask to keep you safe. His words and actions carry weight. Lucanis is indeed a passionate man, but his passion is only for the person that deserves it... a romanced Rook.

This is such an emotional post, but I just want to express how this short 'outing' quest means a lot to me. I won't go into detail on how much similarities I have with him. Just let me say this, I see myself in Lucanis Dellamorte, and I'm happy that I'm not alone going through the journey of healing my inner self.

Let me be hopeful, that one day, I will find my own Rook <3

[himbohimhoe]

Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.

[asexuallucanisdellamorte]

if bioware do make a dlc for veilguard i will only accept a mass effect citadel style one. Rook and co can't go back into the fade so the inquisitor gifts them skyhold and the entire dlc is just inviting every single one of dragon age's previous characters to a massive party

[mellidee]

Alright gang bc of DA4 brainrot im replaying Inquisition to see if I too fall into solavellan hell

The Inquisitor fated for angst, Lanasiara (or just Lana for short)

Trying to draw her too because hnngngh she’s so pretty

[friendsofabracadaver]

I watched the gameplay trailer. I told myself I wasn't going to get too excited.... I failed.

[sunsetzer]

I still don't entirely understand why Minrathous didn't do better against the dragon attack when they had three party members, the Shadow Dragons, the Templars, the city guards, and a goddamn death laser from the archon's palace?? Like, whether the Venatori had their hands in the situation or not, it doesn't feel realistic that every city guard and templar did nothing because they'd been paid off or something. I know it's because Rook is the ProtagonistTM but why is their presence that important? It's not like they're the only one in the world who can kill a dragon like in Skyrim with the Dragonborn.

[gaywatch]

Were you ever into Dragon Age?

When they announced Veilguard I had to wipe away actual tears

[maintitle]

Whenever I replay Mass Effect 3 I find myself thinking about my reaction to it at the time of release, like, a lot. Not in a negative way like most probably did, but in a self-questioning way, because I'm re-bathing myself in an experience that is both very meaningful and also confusing to this day.

I remember when ME3 came out, it was one of two games ever that I went to the midnight release of. This was right after I quite a really grueling factory job that actually had a huge hand in making my heart worse, but I say this mostly to make clear that this game was bought with the last bit of my money and it was going to be something that I put A LOT of my time into.

I was very offline while I played it. I think it's the last game I ever just got lost in and didn't come out for air for until I was done. When I started looking for peoples reactions, I was... I wouldn't say confused by the reaction, but confused by how viscerally people reacted. I remember going to bat to defend the game really, REALLY hard despite agreeing with most of what was said, if perhaps not the tone in which it was said.

It's important to note, I didn't do it out of blind loyalty to ME or Bioware or anything. I'd been very critical of DA2 (I know I know I'm sorry it was another time) a year before, so I wasn't opposed being critical.

Let me say; Ending bad. We all know it. Ending bad. Free DLC that they added to 'fix' the ending? Less bad, but bad. I'm actually not really here to talk about that though, and more here to talk about why I was SO viscerally defending the game at the time despite agreeing with the sentiment.

I want to say this first; I feel very strongly that the main game is as much a love letter to the series as the Crucible DLC was. Characters aren't forgotten, everyone gets a little time in the limelight, everything comes together and interacts with the plot very well. I think the vast majority of the returning characters are handled exceptionally well, and I do think that plays a part in my want to defend it. I firmly believe everything up to the very very end of the game is on par with previous games (except how the dialogue wheel is peeled back a lot and it uses a lot less companion cutscenes, that sucks.) and I do still feel that gets overlooked, although to a far lesser extent these days.

But I think the core of the reason I wanted to defend the game was because of how they made you feel the weight of the war. There is no part of the core experience of Mass Effect 3 that isn't heavy. Every second is filled with the grim weight of a losing war. Every side mission you do involves people losing everything or fleeing desperately. The Citadel is filled with horrified citizens and traumatized soldiers. Your companions face the visceral realization of what they could become at any time. Death happens on massive scales, you watch worlds burn, you witness close friends give their lives, you get a front row seat to the death of a child and it haunts you for the rest of the game.

It gets worse on a replay, too. You go to the Citadel, and you find the few uplifting stories you can, the ones that allow you to take a moment to breath... but knowing the rest of the game, you realize these people aren't out of the clear. You aid alien politicians and military officials only to find out their worlds burned a couple hours later. You listen to a family escape a burning colony only to arrive at a location that you later discover is a funneling system for creating and experimenting on Reapers. You hear a wonderful story about a human soldier and mother working through Asari government red tape in order to send her daughter safely to her grandparents on Thessia, and barely an hour or two after that Thessia is invaded. You bring the news of the death of an Asari woman's Krogan husband to her, and realize in the process that you introduced them to each other.

The thing Mass Effect 3 does exceptionally well is adding weight to conflict. There isn't a second of the CORE experience of the game that isn't accompanied by the horrors of war. And I think that's truly why I, admittedly foolishly, was so defensive of the game and it's detractors at the time. The common conception was that the war with the Reapers was handled poorly, and I disagree with that notion. It's only in it's final step it fails, in every other moment it pulls off an experience that truly makes you feel every second of the conflict.

[halla-hunts-the-wolf]

My rook in love with Lucanis:

Me screaming behind the screen at Viago:

[vaguely-concerned]

I really can't say enough good things about the expression work they did with rook in this scene, the way you can see it all dawn for them and all the little nuances along the way. I've had some trouble at points to get rye's more distinct features to play nice with whatever the facial animation setup is (still always tweaking. every day in every way we get closer and closer etc., getting the mouth to move just right is such a struggle for many scenes lol), but in this it really worked out. perfectly. yeah, that is exactly how he would emote and I would DIE for him. just. look at him. his hard tight little mouth like a child furiously holding back tears. the shifts between vulnerability and anger, the swell of fury rising through that angry option. the way you can see his eyes go wide at hearing the companion's voices and how he immediately realizes that joining them means leaving varric behind. the warring emotions at 'you're not alone' -- confusion, wanting to protest, knowing varric is right but maybe not quite how yet. so much of the arc I'd envisioned for Rye going in hinged on this scene, and I'm so glad that when I got there it worked out so well. yeah. that's how it happened.

(I also like that you can see how tough it is for varric to be faced with 'I can't do this alone' and having to let rook down, in a way. it's the one time he glances away from rook not contemplatively but reflexively. looking up at the path they're going to have to walk -- without him. having to send them off with nothing but words and hope and your faith in them, because you can't be there with them anymore. and he only lets himself look sad when rook turns their back to him for a moment. the parent feelings in that. ouch aou aough I'm. fhsdjkfhas. ow. considering how little time rook and (plausibly real) varric actually spend on screen together, they really pack the animation so full of information and meaning when you look closely.)

also a true blink and you miss it moment but uh

yeah. sure solas wants to be a hero deep down. sure he deserves a second -- third?? fucking millionth????? -- chance to redeem himself. and I'll totally be the person to give it to him. don't you worry about it varric. you just rest now. I'll be taking it from here fhdsakj

extra heartbreak detail for the road: when varric tells rook not to get misty-eyed on him...

it's because they are actually visibly tearing up. so fuck me I guess

(also I know I'm always saying this lol allow me my broken record moment, but big shoutout to Jeff Berg for his voice acting as American masc Rook, this performance really has become so incredibly dear to me so quickly)

[immobiliter]

me: still very much in da brainrot mode dark me: what if i got back into writing mass effect characters