#My favourite character at that time was still Niki because I thought he looked like a very nice and fun character

[iceman-kazansky]

I've come back here again. It's midnight, I am up early tomorrow, but I can't stop thinking of this fic. I need to write my thoughts out.

I will not deny that I got into F1 because I thought the drivers were hot. I saw Senna and was infatuated. I was reading fics before I fully understood who he was or even watched any of his races. But, it was that infatuation that led me here– to this. This fic at first was something I never knew would leave such a lasting impression on me as a reader. It actually sparked my full-on interest into Formula 1 upon my second read. I didn't understand everything mentioned, and I wanted to know more. I had a hunger growing in me for knowledge and understanding. This feeling, once I'd acted upon it (I watched the Senna documentary, read the wiki, watched interviews, etc.) was one of the reasons I began to admire Ayrton for who he was, what he did, and everything else besides what I had initially– his looks. And it changed how I viewed other drivers, too. Yes, I still found them attractive, but knowing their stories painted something for me. An internalized artwork of sorts.

"Funny how you can miss someone you never met, right?" That sentence in your authors note. At first, I didn't get it. I didn't quite fathom the depths of it. Yet, now, as I write this, I believe I fully understand it. I wasn't alive to watch Mr. Senna race. I wasn't alive when he died, either. Despite this, I get this ache in my heart, like it's heavy, whenever I think about him. I can remember something, good or bad, and there is this hollow feel to my chest, and it makes me want to cry. And it's not like how I get sad over Michael Schumacher or Niki Lauda or even Brocedes, which are also some of my favourite things in this sport. This weight in my soul feels heavier than the weight of all the oceans combined. It wasn't something I was initially accustomed to, and it shocked me, because how could I miss someone I'd never even gotten the chance to meet?

That last thought made me remember this fic. The authors note. I came back. Admittedly, it's brought me back every time. I've read this fic countless times. I've cried every time. It is so violently sad in a way that it is so bittersweet that it makes me want to read it over and over for all of eternity. I want it engraved into the very forefront of my mind. The way you detailed this, the way it was structured and plotted, the dialogue, the characterization, the perfectly depicted pre-existing characters who you stuck to their genuine personalities and aspects, everything. From the first letter to the last period. This fic is, in my opinion, the definition of perfect. I was given a bite-sized portrayal of how devastated the reader was at the beginning of the fic, and it left me wondering how and why. Through each memory, you made me feel a stronger connection, and each return to the current setting tore a chunk out of my heart and soul. By the end, I was weeping.

I will never regret reading this fic. For taking the time to comprehend every word written here and to come back and do it again. It's definitely one of my, if not my #1, all-time favourite. Not just because it was the first fic to make me cry, but because of the future emotional attatchment I'd grow towards Ayrton. I will forever be grateful to you, the author, for probably introducing me to the greatest thing I could've never even imagined– the world of F1. Thank you.

saudade | as12

funny how you can miss someone you never met, right? my heart was aching today a lot and i cried even more while writing this so yes, it is long and it is sad, so you decide if you wanna read this or not. if you do, please enjoy if its even possible to enjoy bawling your eyes out lol

oh ayrton, you will always be missed

summary: during senna's funeral y/n has flashes of their shared past and what they could have together

warnings: for sure its intense, 5.6k words of pure sadness, thats it basically

pairing: fem!mclaren!driver x ayrton senna

It was a warm, pleasant day. The beginning of may didn't disappoint with the weather at all. A light, warm breeze swayed the flexible branches, on which fresh leaves were green. The sun was pleasantly warm, but it wasn't unbearable heat. Birdsong could be heard, but so could crying. On this day, mourners outnumbered the blossoming buds on the trees.

A crowd of people had gathered in front of the church, but it was nothing compared to the crowds still on their way. Everyone was dressed in black, and the only point of color in the black mass was a yellow dot, which from a bird's eye view resembled a sunflower petal, thrown onto the black, fertile soil. It was a helmet, a yellow racing helmet, which no one gathered there needed to be introduced to. In trembling hands, a young girl held it, never once moving it away from her chest. She held it against herself so tightly, as if she wanted to feel the warmth emanating from it, but it radiated coldness, like the inside of the church she was about to enter, barely able to keep herself on her feet.

Inside the chapel, it hadn't yet become crowded; the military made sure that the family and friends entered the church first. Inside, there was a grave silence, broken only by the occasional blowing of noses into tissues or a stifled sob.

The girl was aware of what was happening, she knew where she was and why she was there. However, her brain stubbornly avoided connecting the dots and completely pushed the facts out of her consciousness. If it had, she would probably have thrown the held helmet deep into the church, and it would have stopped only when it hit the wooden, solid coffin. The girl's gaze never once lifted towards her.

"Y/N, can you hear me?," the girl flinched when Ron's words reached her for the umpteenth time, "You know you don't have to be here, we can be outside."

The girl blinked several times, and at that very moment, her brain stopped pushing away the facts. Ron held her arm, his eyes swollen, his face even redder than usual. She herself pressed the helmet to her chest, so tightly that only when she moved it away from herself a little was she able to fully breathe. She raised her eyes and looked around. She stood in the front row of benches, where at the very top, just in front of the altar steps, stood the coffin. A large, carefully ironed Brazilian flag lay on it, its freely hanging ends touching the fresh flowers lying beneath it.

"Y/N…," the man began again, this time quieter. He saw tears in the girl's eyes, and he was about to continue, but she pressed the helmet tighter to her chest and started walking forward. She only moved the helmet away from herself when she placed it on the coffin. Y/N fell to her knees and began to sob, pressing her forehead against the hard lid. However, the lid of the coffin wasn't the only thing that separated her from her friend. The worst was death.

It was a brisk february morning. Silverstone Circuit had not yet woken up, there was no deafening roar of engines in the background, and the smell of burnt rubber didn't hang in the air.

Although it wasn't a race day and only a handful of people were milling around the facility, unlike the tens of thousands who usually flooded in for the weekend races, this day was expected to be exciting and full of emotions too.

Certainly, it was so for the 23-year-old Theodore Racing driver, who, sitting in the passenger seat on her way to the circuit, nervously picked at her nails. However, she should now be referred to as the "former Theodore Racing driver" because on this day, she had a test day at McLaren, with whom she signed a contract two weeks ago. In the past two months, the girl's life had changed dramatically. A few days after her birthday, she became the European Formula 3 World Champion, winning the title by just one point. One! The fact that she was so young and the only woman to rise so high meant that many people had their eyes on her and followed her every move. However, most people who hadn't seen her driving at over 200 kilometers per hour thought that being a woman automatically disqualified her from the sport. Ron Dennis, the head of McLaren, was familiar with her skills, though, and seeing how well she performed in the lower levels, he decided to take a risk and give her a chance. One of his proteges, however, wasn't so sure about this decision.

"Girl? You want to replace Prost with a girl?"

Senna, upon hearing the candidate to replace Alain, who, after five years of dealing with him, decided to quit and move away from McLaren, only shook his head.

"Yes, that's exactly what I plan to do," Ron lit a cigarette and shifted his gaze from the car to the disgusted face of the Brazilian, "Maybe she'll calm you down a bit. It's a miracle I found anyone to take Prost's place, no one wants to work with you!"

Ayrton snorted and shook his head again, unable to believe that his boss wanted to do something so idiotic. Silence fell in the garage, none of the mechanics intended to interrupt their conversation. Just like everyone else in the team agreed with Ron that it was a miracle to find anyone willing to take Prost's place, the same majority couldn't imagine a woman starting to race in Formula 1. Especially alongside a driver like Senna.

"A few races, and she'll quit on her own," the Brazilian muttered, "You'll see."

"Pray that she likes you and wants to race for us."

When the car stopped in the gravel parking lot, the girl got out and put on her sunglasses. Tom, her manager and a close friend of her father, just glanced at her and rubbed her back. He knew perfectly well how stressed she was. No one would be prepared for so much in such a short time.

"Everything will be fine."

"You don't have to say that."

He sighed and just pointed with his hand towards the entrance to the facility, letting her through the glass doors. He didn't convince himself too much. Shortly after, after receiving the appropriate instructions, they reached the paddock. Here, the sun didn't glare in her eyes, so the girl took off her glasses, looking around. An empty Silverstone was something unheard of.

"Good morning, welcome, good to see you,"

Ron, standing in front of the garage, as soon as he noticed the girl, broke off from the conversation with one of the mechanics and smiled at her, shaking her hand. She showed up for the tests, so he thought she deserved a shot. Maybe this would work.

The girl made an effort to smile and nodded at him. Fortunately, she didn't have to engage in a conversation with him because he was immediately engaged by her manager. She was glad that in moments like this, someone else could spare her from meaningless chatter.

"Good morning."

She greeted, approaching the car where a few men were working on the wheels, wing, and cockpit. Some of them spoke up, while the rest just nodded at her. She immediately felt unwelcome, and barely a minute had passed since she appeared in the garage. However, this was nothing new to her, she would lie if she said she was surprised. But the most important thing for her was that Ron treated her as an equal, or at least didn't make her feel like she didn't belong here. That gave her a sense of comfort. She didn't need a crowd standing behind her; she only needed two people who had her back.

The girl slowly walked around the car. The new, ready-for-the-season MP4/4 looked very good. Next to the car marked with her number stood another, practically identical, differing only in the number painted in red on the front.

However, the owner of the car was nowhere to be seen, at least not in sight. Y/N hadn't had the opportunity to meet Ayrton personally. The drivers' presentation with the car was scheduled for the end of the month, so it was quite likely that until then, she would have time to mentally prepare herself. She knew Ayrton from stories; she could watch his battles both on and off the track on television, the domestic war he waged with Alain Prost which ended with the Frenchman's departure to Ferrari.

Y/N knew she would have to face many things, one of which was Senna.

"Ready?"

Ron's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, he held a helmet and jumpsuit for her in his hand. She nodded and took the items from him, going to change. When she returned, she took her place in the cockpit, and after some time, when everything was ready, she followed the instructions and took her place on the track. She took a deep breath and clenched her hands on the steering wheel, staring at the start lights. When they went out, the girl sped off with squealing tires and the roar of the engine.

Ron and Tom stood next to each other, watching her movements on small monitors. After some time, the mechanics also began to glance at the monitors, seemingly more interested in whether she hadn't crashed yet than in her results. What surprised them was the sight on one of the displays showing her current lap time, which now stood at 1.38.412 seconds. Ron smiled and shook his head in amazement. The young girl was incredible.

The car itself wasn't handling badly. Besides feeling like a huge boat, to which she was definitely too small, it was actually a well-engineered machine. A few more laps, and she should be able to tame it completely. Although this fact was reassuring. When the girl spotted the checkered flag, she obediently pulled into the garage. She turned off the engine and unfastened her seatbelts, but she didn't get out of the car or take off her helmet because Ron was already beside her, hugging her tightly.

"Young lady, you flew in that car!" The man helped her out of the car, and she took off her helmet and balaclava, taking out the earplugs. "I told you, you did amazingly. Unbelievable lap time, great driving."

The girl wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and blew a strand of wet hair from her forehead.

"It's a really good car, sir."

"A good car without a good driver is just a good car, and a good car with a great driver is a masterful car," Ron shook her hand again, "Brilliant job."

The girl returned his smile, and when she glanced at Tom standing a few steps away, he was also smiling, his smile was the kind of "I told you so."

Y/N gave appropriate feedback to the mechanics and strategists, who now seemed to pay attention to her significantly more than when she first appeared in the garage that morning. Their faces still tried to remain impassive, but nevertheless, they noted everything she had to say. When it was all over, the girl went to change. She washed her face with cold water and looked at herself in the mirror, clenching her hands on the cold sink. She did it.

When she managed to cool down and calm herself down a bit, clutching her helmet under her arm and holding her jumpsuit in the other hand, shortly after she left the bathroom. Suddenly, she bumped into someone, and that someone turned out to be someone she sincerely didn't want to meet that day.

"Watch where you're going."

Senna muttered, holding a lit cigarette between his lips. He gave her a quick glance and disappeared through the doorway, his jumpsuit rustling as he walked away.

The girl squeezed her helmet tighter under her arm and returned to the garage, putting things back in place. After receiving the last praise and handshake from Ron, she said goodbye and left the paddock with Tom. Ayrton pretended to be too busy preparing for the start, so he didn't honor her with even a single glance. When he heard Ron praising her driving, he only snorted under his breath and shook his head. When the garage fell silent again, Ayrton took his place in the car, getting ready to drive.

"1.38.412"

Senna looked up when Ron spoke above his head.

"1.38.412," he repeated calmly, "The lap time of a twenty-three-year-old after her first drive in a Formula 1 car."

The Brazilian snorted and lowered his gaze, putting earplugs in his ears.

"I hope you'll be better than the girl."

Ayrton didn't hear his words anymore because he put on his balaclava and helmet. He didn't believe the girl had achieved such a lap time. And even if she did, it only spoke of the car's capabilities, not her skills. Senna hoped he would be faster by at least a few seconds. He had been racing in Formula 1 for almost five years; he was incredibly fast, and above all, he was a man!

When the tests ended, and he returned to the garage, satisfied with himself and his driving, the first thing he did was to look for Ron's reaction, wanting to see his expression when he rubbed his nose in it. However, the Brit looked at him indulgently, and Senna, not knowing what he meant, quickly tried to free himself from the seat belts. The Brit simply turned the monitor towards him and pointed with his finger at something that, according to Ayrton, was a big mistake.

Between him and the girl, there was a difference of a few seconds, indeed. But Ayrton was slower.

When Senna freed himself from the car, hastily took off his helmet and balaclava, and removed the earplugs, he was about to say something when Ron stopped him, pressing a cassette to his chest.

"Here, watch it tonight and see how the twenty-three-year-old beat you."

Ayrton squeezed the cassette in his hand and only watched him leave, unable to utter a word. It was some kind of absurdity!

Absurd or not, Senna spent the evening in front of the TV. He sat on the couch, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He frowned and carefully watched the recording from the camera placed in her cockpit. He saw how she aggressively entered corners, braking as late as possible, and how quickly she stepped on the gas when the centrifugal forces stopped working. He took a drag and blew smoke from his mouth, rewinding the tape from the beginning, just as it ended. The recording lasted twenty minutes, and he watched it for the seventh time, counting each lap on his stopwatch. Every time, the result was the same.

He couldn't wrap his head around what she had done, but he decided to consider it just a stroke of luck. She had a better day; he had a slightly worse one. Moreover, it wasn't the testing session or even the qualifying rounds that determined the winner, but the race itself. Driving on an empty track without rivals wanting to take your position was one thing, but racing in a competition where everyone wanted to beat you was a completely different matter. If someone had told Ayrton then that four years later, that girl would shed tears at his funeral, he would have told them to fuck themselves.

Y/N felt a strong arm around her waist, trying to lift her. Ron's heart broke seeing her in such a state. However, he couldn't help her even if he wanted to.

"Y/N, please…," he began, but she shook her head, overcome with tears. Wet stains of tears were visible on the flag covering the coffin. The girl was trembling all over, it was a miracle she could breathe. Since the accident, it seemed like Y/N was handling the tragedy very well, just being sad and quiet. No one had any idea what was yet to come. Everyone who saw Y/N by the coffin, this sight of a broken girl, felt nothing but sympathy. The bond she had formed with Ayrton seemed stronger and much richer in emotions than any he had with any of his partners. Ayrton wasn't just her teammate, he wasn't just a friend or sometimes her biggest enemy. From the very beginning, Y/N mattered to him, and if he said otherwise, he was simply lying.

The official skills assessment test for the girl was scheduled to take place less than three weeks after her first visit to the McLaren garage. Now, however, an official presentation awaited her at the reception hosted by the team. One evening at the company headquarters, a banquet was held, attended by far more people than initially anticipated. Most of them were journalists who had to announce to the world the phenomenon that was a woman at the top level of motor racing.

"It's more crowded here than I thought," the girl admitted when she entered the team headquarters with Tom by her side.

"Everyone is curious about you. There are even a couple of journalists from Australia, believe it or not," Tom said.

She looked at him in shock. "And they flew here specifically for this presentation?"

He smiled and nodded. "They'll be talking to kangaroos and kiwi birds about you," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. And it worked because she giggled at his words. However, her smile faded when she noticed Ron talking to Ayrton and two other men in suits.

"Everything will be fine. You did well on the tests, so you'll do well here too," he said softly, rubbing her arm when he noticed her expression.

"There weren't any sharks in suits and piranhas with cameras there," Tom was about to add some words of encouragement when Ron spotted them and raised his hand with a glass in it, trying to get their attention. They approached him, and he greeted them, introducing them to the directors. Ayrton, standing aside, was mindful of how many people were now watching him and wondering if his new teammate would share Prost's fate. However, the Brazilian had no intention of making an effort for gestures he didn't intend. Nevertheless, courtesy demanded it, so he extended his hand, which she hesitantly shook.

"Senna," he said, his Brazilian accent strongly evident in his last name. "Welcome to the team."

The girl introduced herself as well, but it was hard for her to maintain eye contact. Not because he was almost half a head taller, but because of the confidence emanating from him. It was his team, his place, and his time, and she was just a guest. There was no room for discussion.

Fortunately, the awkward situation was soon interrupted as the drivers and management were invited onstage. Ayrton gestured for the girl to go ahead, and she began to walk in front of him.

"I hope you don't grip the wheel as weakly as you do hands," he murmured behind her, quietly enough so no one else would hear, but loud enough for her to hear his words.

Y/N lowered her gaze, feeling a wave of heat wash over her. Even if she wanted to respond, she couldn't. He caught her completely off guard.

As they stepped onto the small stage, they stood behind one of the cars prepared for this season. The girl intertwined her fingers behind her back and straightened up, standing next to Ayrton. He might play his stupid games on her, but she had no intention of showing that she would easily give in. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and almost believed that his comment had gone unnoticed, but her cheeks were flushed. Normally, he would probably snort under his breath, but now he kept his composure.

After a few words from Ron and the board members, the floor was given to the drivers. The two of them remained on stage, each with a microphone in hand. Now it was time for the media, for their pressing questions and burning issues.

Ayrton sat relaxed, almost bored. His legs were bent at the knees, slightly apart. One hand was around his waist, resting his elbow on it, holding the microphone in the other hand. He answered questions briefly and to the point, not dwelling more than necessary. His attire alone indicated that today's banquet was just a formality; he wore a suit, but instead of a shirt, he had a white T-shirt, and on his feet were sports shoes.

Despite her best efforts not to stress out, Y/N was far from as calm as Ayrton. She sat up straight, one leg crossed over the other. Although her red dress practically touched the floor, she glanced occasionally to make sure nothing was out of place. She felt like every move, even the smallest one, was being watched and analyzed. She felt she wasn't focusing on the content of the questions but on how she appeared.

The girl blinked several times, trying to find a sensible answer to the question that had been directed at her a few seconds ago.

"Could you repeat that?" she asked, feeling a bit embarrassed about her inattention. Ayrton, however, heard the question well.

"I asked if you think you're good enough to compete with men or if you're just here for publicity? Racing is still a male-dominated sport, and it seems like you're just trying to prove something rather than compete," the man in glasses squeezed the voice recorder in his hand and looked at her expectantly. Seeing her confusion, he sighed, "I see you're not too bright, so let me ask directly - do you really think you belong here? Do you have what it takes to keep up with the boys on the track?"

The girl panicked a little; this question completely threw her off guard. Emotions overwhelmed her, and she couldn't utter a word. But there was someone who could speak and had an exceptionally sharp tongue.

"I see that, Mr. - again, for whom are you writing?" Ayrton spoke up, furrowing his brows.

"John Ruffleck, Guardian."

"Ah, of course, the Guardian," the man clicked his tongue indulgently. "Clearly, you are the one that didn't shine with intelligence, asking last year's Formula 3 world champion if she fits in here." Y/N was shocked to hear that Ayrton stood up for her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Despite still sitting calmly, the Brazilian was ready for a verbal battle. "If I fit in here, then the 23-year-old who set a better lap time than me during the tests also fits."

Ayrton bluntly silenced the journalist, who merely muttered a quiet "Thank you" and lowered his head.

Several more questions were thrown in by Ayrton, steering the conversation away from sexist undertones. By the end of the conference, there were no more questions about sexist issues. The drivers got up from their seats, and Y/N turned off her microphone, placing it on the sound table as Senna did the same.

"Thank you," she said, looking at him. He also looked at her, but this time his expression didn't express annoyance or boredom, as it did two times before when their eyes met.

"Don't thank me," he said, taking two glasses of champagne from the waitress. "You are allow to drink, right?" he asked before handing her one of them. She nodded and took the glass from him. "Don't thank me, just learn to counter such nonsense. If they're rude, we can be rude too."

Y/N took a big sip of champagne. Her mouth was dry from nerves.

"I don't want to be rude, it's not proper," she said.

"Not proper?" Senna scoffed. "Because you're a girl?"

"Because they'll think poorly of me"

"Do you really care what that bunch of idiots thinks?"

The girl lowered her gaze. Ayrton was right.

Did she really care? She was a driver; she was supposed to deliver good results. She wasn't supposed to please the audience.

She was about to reply when Ron approached them, cursing the Guardian journalist's stupidity. He was so caught up that he didn't even notice Ayrton sending the girl a final glance and then finishing his champagne, taking out cigarettes from his back pocket, and walking away towards the exit. Y/N only watched him go. At that moment, neither of them had any idea how much she would learn from Ayrton, or that he would gladly take on the role of a teacher himself. No one would have even thought of it then.

When Ron managed to lift the shaken girl, she reached for her helmet again and pressed it to her chest. When she looked up, across from her, on the other side of the coffin, she saw a man in a wheelchair. Frank Williams looked at her in silence, but his gaze was apologetic, his face sad, and his eyes looked like he hadn't slept for days.

"Why?" Y/N whispered, but she wasn't sure if anything managed to leave her lips. Williams didn't need to hear her; her eyes said it all. Even if he couldn't hear her question or look into her swollen, tear-filled eyes, he would know perfectly well that she blamed him for his death. "Why, Frank? Why?" Maybe even more than she blamed God.

"If you can hold on to me for longer than five seconds, I'll let you pass," Ayrton said, exhaling smoke. He sat on one of the crates outside McLaren's garage, wearing sunglasses. The weather for the upcoming race looked exceptionally good, but Senna wouldn't mind rain.

"Are you challenging me?" the girl asked, squinting and looking at him against the light. They were sitting outside, where it was quieter, as the mechanics worked inside the garage.

"Why would I?" the man chuckled, taking another drag. Seeing her uncertainty, he offered her a cigarette, trying to reassure her with his gesture.

Y/N took the cigarette and inhaled the smoke, which tickled her throat, making her cough. She wrinkled her nose and after a moment handed him back the cigarette.

"Don't you want to test my braking skills and eliminate me from the race?"

Ayrton laughed and shook his head. "So, I do have a bad reputation after all."

"Definitely not the best," the girl said softly, smiling uncertainly. Ayrton playfully nudged the crate she was sitting on with his foot. He genuinely liked this girl; in fact, he could and wanted to work with her. Now he was even willing to let her win the race if she showed that she could keep up with him. She had demonstrated many times that she could drive at an exceptionally high level, so Senna was willing to show some humanity and let her achieve her first victory, especially on home turf. He stubbed out the cigarette and stood up, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, pulling it down over her eyes.

"Five seconds," he repeated, walking away as she adjusted the cap on her head.

The girl decided to take up the challenge, realizing that such an opportunity might never come again. Ayrton and collaboration? They were complete opposites after all. Y/N, who started the next day from the last place on the podium, managed to fight her way up to second place at the beginning of the race. She spent the next forty laps chasing after Ayrton, wondering if there was any point in chasing him if she couldn't overtake him. Seeing his familiar helmet in the side mirror, Ayrton smiled. He added a bit more throttle and began counting to five, but the girl's car didn't seem to be falling back. When the agreed time was up, much to everyone's disbelief, both on the track and in front of the TVs, Senna slowed down and obediently let her pass. Unable to believe her own eyes, the girl pressed the gas and took the lead, crossing the finish line with him.

She only believed in her victory when Ayrton offered her his hand and helped her onto the podium.

"Five seconds," he said, smiling at her.

"Five seconds," she replied, returning the smile.

How much she would give to see Ayrton again, even for five seconds. To be able to hug him for five seconds, see his smile. Five seconds now would last like an eternity, for which she would pay any price.

The church was filled with people, mostly family and friends, individuals directly connected to Ayrton. The remaining people were outside, surrounding the church, also gathering along the main road. There were talks of crowds, thousands who came to bid farewell to their hero. They too would give much to see Ayrton even for five seconds. Whole, alive, before the Imola accident.

Y/N held the helmet on her knees, looking at it with vacant eyes. She ran her fingers along the edges, tracing the stickers and sponsor names. She squeezed the soft padding inside. She closed her eyelids. Five seconds.

"Necessity is the mother of invention," Ayrton said, loud enough to make the girl jump. She was barefoot, wearing shorts and a bikini top, with his helmet on her head, visor down. She waved a piece of cardboard towards the grill, trying to ignite it better and not wanting the smoke to get in her eyes, deciding to use whatever she had at hand. And hoping Ayrton wouldn't get mad that she used his helmet for this.

The man smiled and shook his head, placing the wood he held in his hands next to the grill. Standing next to the girl, he lifted the visor and looked into her eyes. She looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It suits you," Senna interrupted, smiling. "Possibly even more than me."

"Do you think so?"

The man nodded. His hair, damp from swimming in the lake, fell onto his forehead, and his brown eyes sparkled. Ayrton had been looking at Y/N like this for some time, in a way that many would describe as tender. Certainly, the girl wasn't just a teammate to him, as who would invite a teammate to their hometown to meet their closest family. Certainly not Ayrton.

"I love you, Y/N,"

He confessed as he lay on the jetty, gazing at the starry sky, where there was no trace of the hot Brazilian sun anymore.

The girl laughed and took a sip of beer, lying next to him and leaning on his arm. Both were drunk, so she was sure Ayrton was joking. However, when his confession was met with silence and he turned to look at her, his face was deadly serious.

"I mean it, Y/N. I love you,"

"You can't love me, you have a girlfriend," she replied, still laughing. There was no way he was serious.

Ayrton got up and without a word, kissed her, wanting to prove his words. When he pulled away after a moment, there was no smile on the girl's face. He was about to say something again, but she touched his cheek and returned the kiss, and he pulled her closer, holding her tightly in his arms. That night, they would find out how much they meant to each other.

Senna meant a lot to the girl, there was no doubt about it. He also meant unimaginable things to all those who took part in the funeral ceremonies, not only in Brazil itself but worldwide. It might have seemed like the world had lost an incredible man, someone who in life had already become a legend. Who would have thought that this living, almost mystical legend was just a man? A man who is mortal. Surely no one looked at Senna that way. Certainly not Frank Williams, who eventually decided to agree and accept Ayrton into his team, bearing an incredible burden now. Senna was supposed to lift his team to great heights, and his tragic death dealt a blow, not so much personal as it was business-related. However, at that moment, that mattered least.

Y/N and Ayrton sat at the kitchen table, eating a late dinner in silence. They were in their shared home in Europe, but for the past few months, the walls of the house seemed to be becoming more alien with each passing day. The atmosphere was as thick as it is now, when none of the people sitting at the table even bothered to steal a glance.

"Why didn't you tell me you wanted to go to Williams?"

The girl asked, stirring the contents of her plate with her fork. Ayrton tightened his grip on the glass and took a few sips from it.

"Ayrton-", "Why did I have to tell you?" he entered her words and looked at her, "Just to make you try to stop me?

Y/N blinked several times. She was shocked. She had the impression that the man sitting opposite was a complete stranger and someone she had never known before.

"To stop you? I'm your girlfriend, I should be the first to know about your plans, not hear from strangers."

"Did it change anything? Did something happen that you didn't find out from me?"

"Yes!" she shouted, slamming her hand on the table. She was so done with all of this. "I'm fed up with you treating me like an enemy for several weeks!"

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me!" he stood up, leaning over and pointing his finger at her. "You have no idea how much I had to do to get that offer, how much it cost me!"

"I have no idea, because you don't tell me anything!" she also stood up, pushing his hand away, which he was aiming at her face, "Fame has gone to your head, you're acting like a complete idi-" She didn't get to finish because Ayrton slapped her across the face. He didn't realize when his open hand met her cheek. Y/N grabbed her cheek and looked at him in shock. At the moment of the strike, he also seemed to snap out of it, as if he had been hit himself.

"Y/N, I'm sorry," he said calmly, trying to approach her, but she backed away a few steps, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"But you did," she said with a trembling voice, tears welling up in her eyes, "I don't recognize you anymore, Ayrton".

As the funeral rites began, the last thing on Y/N's mind was their recent arguments, of which there had been plenty lately. Nonetheless, since the incident when he raised his hand to her, Senna understood he had crossed a line. The only upside of the whole situation was that they had started talking again, and Ayrton had come to realize that Y/N was not his enemy. Yes, on the track, the girl might be someone he now had to defeat even more than usual, but she was still his friend, his girlfriend, his partner. Speaking of partners, many women appeared at the funeral, but four of them spent exceptionally long periods by the coffin. They had a lot in common, yet none of them deigned to exchange glances. Each of Ayrton's partners, even today, on such a dramatic day, looked at her as if she were an enemy. Viviane made sure none of them sat on the bench where the family was seated. Y/N belonged to the family. She didn't intrude, Ayrton invited her himself.

"Maybe you should take a break?" Sid Watkins persistently tried to persuade Ayrton and Y/N to withdraw from the upcoming race. "Two weeks, you'll come back to Monaco in better shape, with lighter minds."

Senna sat on one of the crates behind the Williams garage, elbows resting on his knees. Y/N repeatedly wiped her tear-streaked cheeks, trembling hand holding a cigarette. An hour ago, the qualifying session for tomorrow's race was interrupted by Roland Ratzerberger's serious accident. The man was taken to the hospital, but many said he was taken from the track already dead.

"This shouldn't have happened, there shouldn't have been talk of such an accident," the girl repeated, almost hysterical. She was in tremendous shock, having witnessed the accident herself as she was the one who followed Ratzerberger's car.

"They need to cancel the race," Senna said dryly, his gaze fixed on a point in front of him. "We can't race here, not after something like this."

"And if they don't cancel?" Sid looked from Ayrton to Y/N. "Will you race in such a state? You won't sleep over this until tomorrow."

"If they don't cancel, we'll race for him. I'll drive the best I can to honor him with a victory," Ayrton decided, raising his gaze and looking the doctor in the eyes.

"You like fishing, right? Why don't you go back to Brazil, catch some fish, relax. If you want, I'll come with you, I could use it too."

Senna rubbed his face with his hands, intertwining his fingers and pressing them against his lips. Again, he fell silent. He knew they couldn't not race; he certainly couldn't afford to tell Frank after months of effort that he wouldn't start tomorrow. He couldn't do that.

"I don't want to race," Y/N admitted, shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Ayrton, he, Roland-" the man rose without a word and hugged her tightly. He enveloped her in a strong embrace, stroking her hair. Watkins saw that Senna was thinking intensely. And no matter what he said or did to convince him to skip the race, he would do it his own way.

"Think about it, Ayrton. Just think about it," he said one last time. Senna looked him in the eyes and nodded in silence.

Late in the afternoon, Ayrton and Y/N returned to the hotel. They didn't talk much; Y/N occasionally wiped her eyes with a tissue. Ayrton held her hand a lot. When they lay in bed, Senna laid on her stomach, wrapping his arm around her waist. The girl began to run her fingers through his damp hair.

"I don't want to start tomorrow, Y/N," he said softly. He was facing away from her, she couldn't see that he was crying too. "I have a bad feeling."

"You know nobody can force you to do it," she said calmly, her other hand stroking his cheek. "Maybe Watkins is right? Let's fly to your parents, spend time with the kids. It's been two months since you've seen them."

"I can't," he said, wiping his face with his hand. "I can't, nobody needs a driver who doesn't race."

"Ayrton—" "Just hold me," he interrupted, sitting up. The girl obeyed his command, sitting between his legs and hugging him tightly. Both were silent; Y/N tenderly stroked his head and tense back.

"This will be my last season," he said, not moving an inch from her. "I've done enough; I don't need more. I want to focus on something else, on more important things."

"On what, my love?" she asked gently, still stroking his hair.

"I want to be a dad,"

Senna surprised her with this confession. The girl smiled.

"Would you like to have a son or a daughter?"

"A daughter, oh, how I'd love a daughter," he said, pulling away to look at her face. "Would you like to have a child with me? And become my wife?"

Y/N smiled and nodded. "You know I would."

Ayrton returned her smile and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply.

"Te amo, querido,"

"I love you too, Ayrton. And i will always do."

"And i will always do," Y/N said qiuetly, watching as the coffin slowly descends into the ground. Nothing can destroy such love, certainly not death.

[starpros-sunshine]

the tempest cgs never get old do they <-filled with love

NO THEY DO NOT THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <333333333 WAUGH <33333333 SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD Just. Come on they made Eichi look at Wataru Like That and they just expect me to be fine. Then they write the lyrics of their new solos Like That and just expect me to be fine.

[ryqfaeh]

Aliya's Last Moment

Dr.Ghazali : This is the place where we went to the picnic when you were little. Here the picture I took before she got sick.

Ali : Woah, Mama looks so beautiful. And... she even smiles happily here.

Dr.Ghazali : Yeah, she's like an angel, isn't she? I wish I can spend more time with her before she's gone.

Ali : Me too, but Mama said she's happy spending time with us before her leaving us. Like she knew her time already.

Dr.Ghazali : And you, Ali... you got all her resemblance so much. Like her doppelganger but in a male version.

Ali : Well, that's what we called like mother like son.

Both giggle together.

ALIYA IS A GOOD MOTHER BUT LOST A CHANCE TO BE A MOM

Aliya is one of my favourite female adult character apart from the character which is Dos, Jenny and Dayang. Her characteristic is already showed how great she is as a woman, sister (Bakar's big sister) and mother at the same time.

Since her childhood, she is a kind and strong girl who wants to be a good example to Bakar which made him to be a strong and confident person as now.

Until she meet Niki. She's still the same person who wants to give a hand to Niki to make her life becomes better. She may already be involved in crime along with Niki but, deep in her heart, she just wants to help the whole Pinggiran since no one cares about them.

After being surrounded by MATA Leader Pillars, Aliya seems like beyond her control which is she ready to be caught by them. However, Dayang saw her potential to be an agent if Aliya joins MATA.

Is Aliya accepting Dayang's offer just to be escaped from punishment? Well, I guess she already knew that she was in her wrong path. Stealing and having a crime like in Ejen Ali the Movie even if she has a good intention. So, joining MATA is a good term to fix her life path and give her lesson how to help people in the proper way.

In the other hand, Niki seen Aliya as a betrayer as she already hold a grudge toward Cyberaya, a developed and high-tech city unlike her own place, Pinggiran. Because of that, she put Aliya in her hatred list for years until she meet Ali. I believe Niki still loves and cares Aliya as much as she did but, her revengeance kept pushing her.

During Aliya's override mode, Niki witnessed her pain while stopping the rocket but, she did nothing as she feels satisfied because of Aliya's betrayal. However, it isn't Niki's fault 100%. Aliya chosen to sacrifice herself in order to protect her own city because she has her family, (may) her husband and son who are living there.

Niki's emotionally unstable made Aliya realizes it's her fault in the first place. She shouldn't teach Niki to do something wrong. It could be better if they're just to do a right thing and helping together to build up Pinggiran. I think, after Aliya's joining MATA, she is no longer there and she can't visit Pinggiran anymore as she's busy doing mission.

It makes sense why is Pinggiran never change even after Ali visiting there as Aliya's son. Ali came as he found out Niki's earrings have a similar design as his mother's pendrive's design and knowing that later Niki is his mother's former friend.

In Niki's good perspective of Aliya, she described her as a good friend who helps Niki without judging her background or poor life. However, her other perspective with her hatred, Aliya is such a betrayer who chosen a stupid organization over her and the whole Pinggiran.

Ali shocked and ended up knowing his mother is actually an agent which is he always thought that his mother is a nurse. So, when the truth was revealed, Aliya isn't a betrayer at all. She's joining MATA because she thought the more researches she did, the more things that she can help Pinggiran in the future as she becomes a Techno agent which is she really good at.

The time Niki is going to use herself as a bomb, Ali unconsciously accessed Niki's IRIS Neo and there's Aliya's dimension appeared. Stopping Niki by her own hand from more wrongdoings with a regretful expression. It means, if she failed to stop her from real life world, at least she can stop her in IRIS Dimension. It's the least thing she can do to redeem herself.

ALI'S DECISION AFTER THE INCIDENT OF CYBERAYA

So, how about Ali? Is he okay and ready to forgive Niki about the reason of his mother's death? For me, if Aliya is alive, she may feels it was her fault because she failed to fix everything that change Niki to be a bad person. Ali may takes his time to process everything and decide what he should do in the next step.

Could he continue to be an agent or resign from joining MATA? So, he won't repeat the same mistakes as his mother did in the past?

In the beginning of becoming an agent, Ali is always giving up on something when it's over his limit. However, after the incident of Cyberaya, he changed his mindset that he wants to be like his mother. Changing his life perspective, learn something new and do what he can do. So, he can help people who needs a help.

As conclusion, Ali started accepting his fate. His life is no longer unlucky or bad. He gains his own strength and intelligence in his own way. He's talented, gifted and brave. Everyone may have all of that. However, for Ali, it's more superior than that. He's literally Aliya's son.

[mellorphic]

Tommy-Centric Fanfiction Recommendations

I’m pretty sure I’ve made a post like this before, probably with some of the same fics, but I can’t find it for the life of me.

First, the classics

Passerine

Completed, 7 chapters, major character death, royalty AU, God AU, SBI-centric, has a prequel and a couple of sequels which I haven’t personally read. Niki, Puffy and Tubbo also make appearances as well as Dream and Sapnap

If you haven’t read passerine you’re either new to the fandom or you live under a rock. Even SAD-ist has read passerine. Even Niki read it.

DO NOT read this without taking a good look at the tags and the warnings. It’s a very, very heavy fic

I don’t really need to say much - it’s a beautiful, tragic masterpiece that I read across two days, but if you tried hard enough you could finish it in one. The characters are simultaneously so different and so similar to their canon ones. It had me sobbing at 2 am and I haven’t recovered but this fic made me feel very seen, despite never having reallly experienced the things the characters went through I found each one relatable and found many quotes applicable to my own life.

It’s hard to pinpoint a favourite part because taking any single bit out of the perfectly sewn together story feels almost like a disservice. But one of my favourite quotes has to be: “Wilbur couldn’t remember it happening, but somewhere along the way of studying warfare and politics, of staring up at the throne that would one day be his, of learning how to be a prince, he’d forgotten how to be a son.” From chapter two.

TommyInnit’s Clinic for Supervillains

Completed, has a prequel and a couple of other bits in the extended universe of it that I haven’t read, 26 chapters, hero/villain/vigilante au, mainly crime boys centric, but features the rest of SBI as well as bench trio and the Dream Team

Warning for derealisation/unreality in one chapter and general warning for violence throughout.

I’ve read a few vigilante aus and I’ve loved each and everyone one of them but this one stood out as it kept me hooked the whole way through, even waiting between updates I still was able to remember what had happened which has been a struggle for me with other vigilante aus for some reason.

It’s a great balance of light-hearted and heaviness that makes it incredibly fun to read. The characters and their morals are so fascinating, as is trademark for any AU like this. Tommy has a lot of internal conflict.

The relationships between each character are really interesting to me so that’s one thing I really like about this fic especially.

“Tommy’s jaw clenched as he thought back to eating McDonald’s on the roof with Siren only a few weeks before. Obviously he couldn’t tell Wilbur about that. It would just raise too many questions.”

Now, my personal favourites

Still Life

Completed, one chapter containing over 30000 words. Tommy centric but features SBI and Niki pretty heavily too. Fundy, Eret, George and Jack also make appearances. Runaway AU set in a small town in the early 80s of America.

Reread this fic last night and it’s really interesting how Meridies is able to cultivate such a rich story in a oneshot. It’s by no means short but it’s also nowhere near as long as anything else on this list. I dunno, it’s the perfect length. It says everything it needed to say.

Once again the characters in this are stunning. The entire town kind of takes Tommy under their wing and it’s a lovely read. It gives me a certain kind of nostalgia for a home I don’t have, and it made me long for that kind of community.

It explores the idea of childhood in a really nice way too. Tommy’s a kid and he gets treated like a kid, which gets on his nerves until it doesn’t. And every now and again the other characters treat him like his age affects his intelligence, and then they realise it doesn’t. But he’s always reminded that he is allowed to act his age. B

This fic tells you nothing and everything about Tommy’s childhood at the same time. The ins and outs of what it’s like aren’t explained but the little he does say explains everything you need to know and even Techno remarks on that. That scene is actually a little jarring because Techno asks Tommy why he doesn’t talk anymore, but since the reader is getting Tommy’s internal monologue it feels like he’s saying more than he is in truth. I love that - you as a person can feel like you’re saying everything you need to say but so much of it never reaches the people around you.

I love the way it explores human attachment and the sacrifices we make for people. The way that leaving a place sounds so easy but it can be the hardest thing in the world.

This is another fic that speaks to me. This Tommy is a kid who’s been bashed for being young and when he stopped acting like a child he couldn’t grow into himself. Now, he’s lost and doesn’t know who he even is.

“Then Techno was saying I can’t do this anymore out loud, and Tommy was struck with the sudden realization that the three of them were caught in a tangled web of their own creation. They were tangled so tightly they could not see which way would loosen the knot and which would pull the knot tighter. Tommy needed one of them to let go.”

Post-Mortal

Completed, 4 chapters. Crime boys centric but also features bee duo very heavily. Tommy’s actually dead in this one. Canon divergence set right before the prison arc.

This fanfic is one of those ones that I’ve only read once but certain parts have stuck with me. Wilbur makes slow progress toward recovery and relearns how to live.

Tommy is in this fic, through flashbacks and a disembodied ghost who is in a much happier place than his canon limbo was. This is probably the least Tommy-centric of the Tommy-centric fics but I’m counting it anyway.

One of my favourite Tommy related parts is from one of the many, many flashbacks. “Tommy held him on the forest floor. That was the most he could have done, and yet his most was not nearly enough to keep Wilbur from shattering.” This is from chapter two.

[bonesandthebees]

thoughts and questions that didnt get in my comments bc I needed to let them bounce around my brain for a bit 2/2?

okay so wilburs breakdown scene and going from "the pythia" to "he" to "wilbur" even for just a moment, we're all freaking out about bc JDHSHDBDBD OBVIOUSLY HE WAS REFERED TO AS WILBUR and everyone talked about it a lot

but I would like to point out how this scene foreshadowes how this whole healing process is probably going to look like

the whole thing was triggered by techno pressuring wil and putting him in an uncomfortable position and going against him, to which is not the right thing to do, but in this situation the way to get forward

than comes the part where HE TAKES OFF HIS BLINDFOLD AND IS IN THE CAVES IN COMPLETE DARKNESS and it goes from "the pythia" to "he" bc first he has to get rid of all the brainwashing, dehumanisation and just what they made him into to be the pythia, including wearing the blindfold, before he can even start to try and find himself, the "wilbur" part

ofc he returned right back to being "the pythia", but thats just how progress and healing works, its not linear and you keep going forward only to go right back

it's not pretty and it's not enjoyable and wilbur is going to have a really bad time, but hopefully it's going to be worth it later down the line

and we can only hope that tommy will be there in the future to offer some comfort, just like he did now

a little detail that I noticed and would really like to point out is how whenever talking about his role as pythia wilbur keeps using the same words/phrases and i think it was even mentioned in the chapter that hes basically repeating previous pythias words and i would just like to say how cool and thought out that is, the brainwashing is written so well to the details and it makes me want to scream, you are absolutely amazing and I love your writing so much

i am absolutely obsessed with tagd!crimeboys (or honestly just crimeboys in your fics in general, every time they are very different yet so fatally same)

how they are getting touchy after wilbur basically admitted hes touch starved, the unfounded trust that shouldnt exist, but is there, the way they care about each other and tbh even the dependence and attachment that is there (especially from wilburs side considering tommy is almost his only "friend" in all this)

also jack and niki, theyre everything to me and im so glad you have them in so many of your fics theyre consistently my favourite characters and I love them so much

you dont get them in fics very often especially not this full fledged which is a shame bc theyre very cool and im so happy you give them such big roles

thats all I got for now, hope youre having a good time

:))) I love reading analysis of the cave 'wilbur' scene it was so fun for me to write. i loved the transition from 'pythia' to just using pronouns to calling him 'wilbur' just once

also yes healing is not linear. it's messy and you can take steps back and jump forward before falling back again. this was a step forward, and then of course a step went back but it still mattered. it's definitely going to be worth it later down the line though i promise :)

aaa thank you i'm also so obsessed with glass!crimeboys they mean SO much to me. they're such a messy and (future) codependent iteration of crimeboys (all c!crimeboys are codependent it's just like. especially obvious in glass lol)

i LOVED c!jack and c!niki on the dsmp, so I love including them in my fics and giving them main side roles. they're both so fun for me to write and i love their dynamics with crimeboys. i love love love writing jack's dialogue because he's so funny, and i adore niki as a character because of how complex she is (jack ofc is complex too but i just really adore niki)

tysm for this so glad you're enjoying!!

[thesunicarusfellfor]

hello!!can you do a part two of your Yandere!Tommy x Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanons/Fic ?! i loved it!!

It amazes me how this became a fan favourite OVERNIGHT like daaaaamn!

This one is gonna be split into parts around the end, so like what happens if you choose Tubbo/Tommy/Neither/Both

(f/l) = first letter of your name

(N/n) = nickname

(f/f) = Favourite flowers

Eggpire does not exist

ALSO. The last Route (Neither) I wrote is shorter because apparently, Tumblr wants to crash after you surpass 10k words, but I could write a continuation fic of Neither that might turn into another x reader? Just platonic? Not sure. Remember, I will always write a continuation of a fic if ever asked.

TW: Yandere, Explosions, Burns, Scars, Manipulation, Mention of Painkillers and being drowsy on them, brief mention of collapsing

Part one

Yandere!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic Part 2

Tommy was furious to see you spending time with anyone that wasn’t him.

But seeing you having an early morning coffee with Ranboo??? Tubbo’s husband???

He was about to light the damn house on fire he was so pissed! That’s not even exaggerating, he would’ve and had you live with him! Although he wouldn’t let you know he did it.

Poor Ranboo was trembling so bad, genuinely fearing for his canon lives.

You quickly got up and stood in Tommy’s sight, prevent him from glaring at your tall friend, although he still didn’t look happy.

Before anyone could say anything else, Tubbo stormed through the door with his sword in his hand and teeth violently grit together.

“So... You weren’t trying to throw me off by writing about going to see them in your memory book,” Tubbo growled softly at his husband causing Ranboo to desperately pull his memory book closer to his chest, tears brimming his eyes. You could understand why, his best friend went through his memory book without his knowledge and possibly went through his other things in an attempt to figure out what he was doing.

“I guess neither of you are loyal...” Tommy grumbled with a roll of his eyes, causing Tubbo to give him a hard jab in the ribs, “Ow! Bloody hell, mate! I’m just saying both of you are going for them without even breaking up first!”

“It’s platonic!” Both Tubbo and Ranboo stated although Ranboo’s voice came out as a tiny and meek protest, rather than Tubbo’s annoyed growl. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Ranboo put his crown back on his head, “I’m-I’m not interested in chasing them, so no... I was just talking to them...” He visibly shrank in on himself as the two boys glared darkly at him, “I... Should go...”

“Hold up.” You pointed at him, making the tall and lanky male stay seated in his spot while you turned back to Tubbo and Tommy, “I know why Ranboo is here. I know why he,” You pointed to Tommy, “Is here. He always kicks down my door early in the morning to do some crazy things. But why are you here?” Moving your finger to point at Tubbo, you noticed his look immediately softened upon you turning your attention towards him.

His cheeks became a light pink and his goat ears fluttered slightly as he put his sword away, “Am I not allowed to visit?” There. There was one of the mood switches and manipulation Ranboo warned you about. “Tommy invited me to L’Manberg, and I heard my beloved platonic husband was in the area as well. Plus Tommy left the door open.”

You blinked a bit, caught off guard by the fact that Tubbo completely brushed over the fact that he was here because he had read Ranboo’s memory book, “Oh, I see... Then shall we all go mining today? We’d be able to get a lot more ores than before!” You smiled, pretending that your two friends didn’t kick down your door and threaten the man who was just trying to protect you.

“With Tubbo and Ranboo?” Tommy growled out in disgust at the thought of you spending time with them, “But (Y/n)! We always go mining on Thursday mornings! It’s our thing. Between just US! Aka, not Tubbo and Ranboo...”

“I- uh, have a meeting with Techno and Phil later today, so I can’t go. Sorry, (Y/n)...” Ranboo murmured, although you could tell by the shakiness of his voice that he wanted nothing more than to run and hide in his panic room.

“I’d love to go!” Tubbo chirped softly, ignoring the audible noise of disgust and annoyance that Tommy made, “Let me just get my stuff from my enderchest.” He walked over to your enderchest and opened it. You didn’t mind too much as you gave everyone full permission to make themselves at home in your house, but you were just a bit shaken up at the moment.

Ranboo quickly got up and scurried out the door, giving you an odd look as he passed by. He looked... Guilty, but his smile was sad and soft, but seemingly affectionate. You knew he would help if these two were scaring you too much.

The two boys brought you to an unpopular mine in the DreamSMP that was filled to the brim with ores.

They were quick to take down any and all mobs that came within any sort of distance to you, recklessly charging without a second thought in attempts to protect you.

While there was intense amounts of fear and tension circling through your veins because of this morning, you did quickly grow to have fun with the banter between these two.

Even Tommy and Tubbo were having fun bickering, almost seeming to forget the fact that they were in a war with each other. Almost.

The constant fluttering of their hearts and warmth on their cheeks was an easy reminder of what they were fighting for.

Every single ore, gemstone and pretty rock that you looked at, the boys would immediately pick up and put in their bags so you didn’t have to carry it.

When Tommy began to whine about being hungry, you wanted to go back to the surface to eat the food you had packed, but they both thought that was too far.

So, you suggested sitting down in the abandoned mineshaft you had discovered.

“Ooh!” Tubbo squeaked, his ears wiggling as he turned the corner of the mineshaft, “There’s a ravine over here! Let’s eat by the light of the lava so we don’t waste all our torches!”

“Finally! I’m starving!” Tommy tossed his ore-filled bag off of his shoulder and set it against the wall. Once you spread out the thick blanket you had brought on the ground, he plopped himself down and set down his shield and sword, “What do you have for food today, Big/Little (F/l)?”

You hummed as Tubbo sat himself down on the other side of you with a yawn, likely not used to getting up early, “I have... Sandwiches, some fruit slices, berries, y’know, the usual. You tired, Tubbo?” Glancing over at the brunet, you saw him rubbing his eyes with the long sleeve of his brown and yellow striped sweater that you had made him when he first travelled to Snowchester.

“Little bit, yeah. Can I lay against you? Just for a little bit?” He asked softly as you handed Tommy a sandwich, which he practically inhaled in seconds. Once you gave a nod of approval, the smaller boy laid down and curled up with his head against your lap.

Tommy grumbled in annoyance and without thinking much, laid down as well with his head against your leg too. When you gave him a small questioning look as this was highly out character for him, but he simply just mumbled about how you were definitely more comfortable than the rocks.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, unconsciously playing with their hair as you glanced around the stone walls for any untouched ores, but by now both boys were asleep and you didn’t feel like waking them up. Taking your time, you began to consider your situation now that you knew both boys were smitten with you and practically willing to hurt anyone who came in contact with you.

Tubbo’s mood switches scared you, a lot, and you were worried that him being the nice and blushing boy you had met a few years ago was nothing but an act and that all the gifts were an attempt to lure you in or distract you from his violent tendencies. You had watched him walk into your house, eyes blank and filled with rage towards his platonic soulmate for talking to you without his knowledge, and you were worried that soon that rage would be directed at you for doing something he didn’t like.

Tommy’s violent tendencies were just as scary though, so he wasn’t in the clear in your eyes either. While he did shape up a lot from when you first met, he still had a tendency to bark insults at you and hurt your feelings, which you hope is unintentional. He also often tried to threaten people and keep them away from you, like Eret or Niki who got yelled at and a tad bit injured after they had given you gifts or offered to bring you somewhere cool... They didn’t really spend time with you anymore after that... You missed them and didn’t want the same thing to happen to Ranboo.

But, this couldn’t go on forever. You couldn’t just run... and you knew very well that rejecting either of the two would cause the other to lash out severely, to the point where the one you chose, you, and your friends were in major trouble. It’s not like you could choose both right? ...Right? Then again... Choosing both would potentially cause tension to stir up again between the two best friends.

Your train of thought was violently derailed when you heard a hard thud a few meters in front of you. With a small gasp, you looked up and saw a creature of varying different shades of green slowly looking around before a few more thuds followed behind it. Before you could even think of waking the two boys, the green creature began to run at you quickly with its four legs.

A creeper.

A terrified cry left your lips and suddenly the weight on your lap vanished. Now awake, Tommy immediately grabbed his shield and used it alongside his body weight to slam into the creeper backwards into a small horde of zombies that had dropped down with it. “Get up you dumbass! Are you tryin’ to die?!” The blond yelled at you as Tubbo, who had also sprung up at the sound of your fear, began firing arrows at the group of mobs.

Once you got over your shock, you grabbed your axe and shield before quickly jumping to your feet and charging into battle. The zombie you had chosen to fight gurgled and swiped and gnashed its teeth together at you as you used your shield to block its hits. Backing up a few steps, you slashed your axe at the undead mob and took out its bottom jaw with the black blade, gleaming with an enchantment that set the creature on fire. The smell of burning rotten flesh caused you to gag and scrunch up your nose before you used your shield to shove it into the pit of lava at the bottom of the ravine.

Laughing softly in triumph, you turn around to help Tubbo and Tommy, only to let out another gasp of shock as you saw the very creeper that had been shoved away earlier had now returned with a vengeance. And it was mere inches away from your face.

There wasn’t much you could do except barely raise your shield in time to block a good majority of the explosion from damaging your body, launching chunks of stone outwards and off the edge of the ravine. 

And you as well.

“(Y/n)!!!” Tubbo’s voice echoed through the stone cavern as you felt yourself get launched backwards before beginning to fall, gravity quickly beginning to grasp onto you and drag you down towards the lava below.

Reaching out, to grab onto anything that would stop you from falling, but to no avail. Your mind barely registered Tommy and Tubbo running towards you before you shut your eyes tightly, silently praying to whatever or whoever to save you.

Then you stopped dead in the air, something wrapped around your arms and hands.

Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes and looked up to see the human and a goat hybrid that had been laying with their heads in your lap just minutes ago, were now desperately grasping one arm each, preventing you from falling to the end of one of your canon lives. Both of their blue eyes were filled with tears that were dripping down their faces and hitting the molten rock at the bottom of the ravine as they struggled to pull you up.

Once you felt the solid ground below you, you finally managed to take a few breaths to calm yourself down as you felt tight arms wrap around you on either side, barely able to comprehend the sobs of terror from your savours. The dull burning and throbbing pain on your cheek were enough to bring you down to reality and carefully wrap your arms around the two wailing teens as they desperately clung to you, almost as if you were going to vanish right below their fingertips.

Tommy was the first to gather himself and pull himself away from your good shoulder and rub his eyes free of tears to look at the new injuries covering your body and your busted armour, “F-fuck... We’re gonna have to get you to Phil to get those burns patched up...” He sniffled, trying to act like he wasn’t just bawling his eyes out over you nearly losing a canon life. For once, he didn’t seem to mind Tubbo clinging onto you and wailing into your side as you pet his hair, trying to calm him down. 

Tubbo refused to let go of you for the next hour as you travelled out of the mine, his arms desperately wrapped around your waist/shoulders. (Depending on your height)

Tommy also held onto your non-burnt hand, that once held your shield, as he carried yours and his bag, leading you both back the way you came

If another mob came out to fight, it was almost a guarantee that one of them would run forward and the other would lightly push you into a corner, then proceed to block you from view via a shield and their body,

Even if you thought that you were in a decent enough condition to fight, the one shielding you would only look at you sadly and shake their head, saying something about the explosion burns along your (s/t) skin.

Once you had gotten out of the mine, it was around 6pm, and the sun was going down, but luckily Tommy had sent a message to Philza, his father, about the situation, so he was prepared and already at Tommy’s house, which was the closest to the mine.

It wasn’t a long walk, but god you were so exhausted..

It got to the point where Tommy and Tubbo were on either side of you, preventing you from collapsing before you got to the home.

Let’s just say, when they opened the door, Philza was already there and immediately panicked upon seeing the injuries covering the one side of you and the state of your armour. (No you were not wearing the god armour Tubbo gave you.)

One of your cheeks and lower jaw were burnt and bleeding, along with your dominant arm and leg that weren’t behind the shield when the explosion went off.

Tommy Route - Mellohi

Because your home still being near L’Manberg and the Prime Path (In this route), it was easier for Tommy to check up on you while you were healing from your injuries.

While you were bedridden, Tommy was a lot, a lot, quieter when he came into your house, never sure whether or not you were sleeping.

If you weren’t, he would eagerly show you something he found, tell you some drama he heard around the area, or tell you about his day. Or just play Mellohi on constant repeat.

If you were asleep, he would silently walk over and check on your bandages or potion supply, (updating Phil if you were low or bleeding from moving too much), or even sit beside you for a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t just stop breathing out of nowhere.

To say he was scared your entire recovery process would be an understatement.

He would rarely let anyone but Phil check on you, definitely nearly blowing his nerve when Ranboo or Tubbo would walk into your house.

If it was Ranboo, we would definitely get picked up and thrown,

If it was Tubbo, he would try and push him out because he knew that threats wouldn’t work on him.

In the situation that he did push Tubbo out, Tommy would immediately lock the door and stay in there for the next few days

For the more likely situation, because we all know how stubborn that goat is, and he wasn’t able to push Tubbo out, Tommy would subtly put a few drops of the sleeping potion Phil made you, into your drink.

When you began to doze off, Tommy would mention it to Tubbo in the most serious voice he could muster. It always worked, because Tubbo wanted what was best for your health.

The absolute minute that Philza deems you stable enough to get off of bed rest, Tommy is by your side in seconds and trying to encourage you to stand up.

When you do get the nerve to try and stand again, he would immediately be holding your good arm, preventing you from falling if your bad leg suddenly gave out.

In the case that you do collapse from your injuries, he would at first be extremely panicked, but then he’d start calling you insulting names and calling you an idiot.

He would bring you on walks all around the DreamSMP to get you used to walking again but would have no problems sitting down again.

That’s a lie.

He would complain a little bit, but if he saw you were genuinely in a lot of pain, he would just shut up and awkwardly ask what he could do.

If you needed anything for pain, he would straight up run to your home and get it, if they already didn’t have it.

The fact that you’re spending so much time with Tommy absolutely infuriates Tubbo, and he tries to guilt-trip you into spending more time with him.

But then Ranboo tells him that you can barely walk down the Prime Path without wanting to cry from the pain of the burns, and he offers to move back to L’Manberg. Or at least what’s left of it.

This sparks an argument between Ranboo and Tubbo almost immediately, but you’re much too tired to try and stop it, instead quietly asking Tommy if he can help go back to your home or to get them out so you could sleep.

He would be glad to.

Like he would do it, with an absolute goofy smile on his face because he basically gets your permission to have your attention all to himself!

When you’re all healed, your relationship between you and Tommy has practically tripled from what it was.

You’re much closer to him than he was to Tubbo, to the point where he has told you everything.

Even about his exile...

Because of your closeness to him, he somehow got even more protective but also calmed down his threats.

Like, now you could talk to Niki and Eret again, but you were not allowed to leave your house at night alone, especially after mobs have spawned.

Hell sometimes if he’s really paranoid, he’ll go to your house and spend the night just to make sure mobs don’t bang on your door or ruin anything.

He straight up took the time out of his life to fence the property around your house off and fill it with torches so things didn’t spawn in.

Sure he’ll call you slightly insulting names, but he makes sure that they wouldn’t be too painful for you before saying them aloud.

Tubbo still tries to be nice and manipulative, which Ranboo tries to stop, but it’s pretty much worthless at this point.

He’s lost.

He knows it, Ranboo knows it, and Tommy damn well brags about it.

Tubbo does end up crying to you quite a bit about it, but you can understand, he’s heartbroken at this point and can’t do anything about it. Tommy and you know about his manipulation tactics, he couldn’t take Tommy’s last life because it would show up on your communicator, and then you would never love him!

Unfortunately, this does cause him to lash out at Ranboo quite a lot which led to their third divorce. Although this one seems quite a bit more permanent, you never know. (Ranboo took Michael)

One evening, Tommy invited you out of the house oddly enough. Even though mobs would be spawning soon? It greatly confused you.

He even asked you to wear nicer clothing? Like a tux or a dress? Either one or both worked in his eyes.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how you were supposed to fight mobs in a fancy outfit, but you trusted him.

“Tommy?” You asked, opening the door as you smoothed out your clothing with your hands and adjusted your hair a tad bit to your liking. It was shocking to see the tall blond nicely cleaned up and wearing a suit, but it was quite a welcome sight!

He nervously adjusted his red tie before holding out a bouquet of perfect (f/f), and cleared his throat, “You... Uh... Clean up nice. I- uh... No- wait... What did Sam say again?” He murmured to himself, “Ah fuck it... You look nice, (Y/n).”

You chuckled as your cheeks flushed a light pink, happily taking the bouquet filled with your favourite flowers, “I’ll put these in a vase and then we can go where you wanna bring me.” With a smile, you quickly placed the flowers in a glass vase filled with water before going back out with Tommy.

“Sh-shall we? Is that a common phrase to say?” He asked as he held out his arm for you to link with his, a habit he picked up from walking you around while you were healing.

“I suppose we shall. Calm down Tommy, no need to be all fancy and stuff around me.” You chirped with a small smiled as you took his arm, linking it with his, “Now, are you going to tell me where we’re going? Or is this supposed to remain a mystery?”

Tomathy visibly relaxed once you told him he didn’t have to be all professional and fancy, beginning to lead you down the Prime Path, “It’s a secret! I worked hard on it too! So you better be grateful or I’ll kick your ass.” He jokingly threatened, smiling a bit as you laughed at his typical attitude.

He led you down the wooden path, the two of you joking the entire way with a goofy smile across your faces. Tommy then took a sudden turn onto a newly made pathway and lead you down it, never answering any questions about it the entire way, even when the buildings turned into a forest. The pathway was lined with fences, and the trees were filled with small hanging lanterns, not only preventing mobs from spawning but also creating a beautiful fairy forest effect.

Seeing your look of awe, he gave a small sheepish laugh, “You like it? Puffy and Sam helped me out with it for the past few days, but this was my idea! And this isn’t even the best part!” He grinned widely before quickly pulling you along again.

The walk wasn’t very long, but it was extremely beautiful. Eventually, he brought you up to a large hill with a massive oak tree where a beautiful picnic was set up, surrounded by lantern light. Even with the lanterns, you were still able to get a clear view of the starry sky above without a single cloud in sight! “Oh my god... Tommy... This is incredible...”

“Innit? Puffy helped me make all the food, but this was my idea. Unless you don’t like it. Then it was Puffy’s idea.” He joked in an attempt to hide his nervousness as he went to ruffle his hair, but then remembered that he had spent a few hours taming it down, so he decided against it.

“I love it! This is so beautiful!” You looked up at him with a bright and happy smile, making him return it with a soft smile of his own, “Come on, oh! There’s a jukebox!” You eagerly pulled him over to the blanket and sat down, taking a look at all the food that had been set out.

The tall male happily took a disc, Mellohi to be precise, out of the enderchest that had been set beside the jukebox, neatly placing it in and pressing the button to make the music play before he sat down beside you. The two of you began to eat the meal that he helped make, joking, laughing and smiling the entire time, having the time of your life. You leaned your head against his shoulder and smiled up at him as you gently held his hand, making him realize even more how important you were to him.

Mellohi, the same song he lost his friend to, was the same song he was listening to while gaining a new important person in his life. You.

The entire night went on with you two eventually falling asleep at the top of the hill, completely unaware of the brown-haired male leaning against a tree. He desperately grasped his shirt where his heart was as tears poured down his shirt.

Tubbo always liked Cat more than Mellohi...

=

Tubbo Route - Don’t Let Me Fall

Tubbo was so so glad that he had managed to convince (manipulate) you to live in Snowchester when he did. (In this route)

Somehow managed to convince you to live in the mansion, although it was probably done when you were drowsy on the pain killer potion Phil gave you.

This man would completely ignore his own country to make sure you were well taken care of. Like Ranboo literally had to step into power and start working on things and taking care of Michael.

Speaking of the baby zombie piglin, because you were now bedridden and bored out of your mind, Tubbo frequently brought the child in if Ranboo absolutely demanded that he take over for a bit.

The baby absolutely adored you! The injuries on your body reminded you of the ones he got when he travelled to the overworld, so he didn’t feel alone.

Unfortunately because of your constant pain and drowsiness, Tubbo thought it was best that he stayed in his room. Or maybe that was because he didn’t want him getting close to you too?

It was actually extremely rare for Tubbo to let anyone in to visit you. He actually even got incredibly annoyed when even Phil would come over to restock the potions for you or make sure your wounds were healing.

On a normal day, if you were awake, Tubbo would be blabbering on about some story without a care whether or not you were listening. He would most likely be acting the story out as if it were a play, determined to provide you with as much entertainment by himself as he could.

If you were sleeping, he would also be sleeping, although on a few chairs pushed together in your room. There’s a rare time where he will stay up and watch you to make sure you’re breathing still, but that’s only if he’s really scared and paranoid.

Tommy absolutely REFUSES to even look at Snowchester, so you never really got a chance to thank him for saving you. 

Although... Tubbo very actively tries to convince you that Tommy didn’t even come to help you when you had fallen and that you had been in shock so that’s why you didn’t remember correctly.

At first, you didn’t believe him, but eventually, with constant repetition, you slowly saw it as the truth. You genuinely began to believe that Tommy hadn’t pulled you up and that it was only Tubbo that did.

After quite a few weeks, Phil told Tubbo that you could finally get out of bed, but Tubbo asked him if he was 100% sure MANY times.

The goat hybrid actually didn’t want you to get out of bed and start walking again, worried that you get up would leave him, so he wasn’t going to tell you.

But Ranboo was the one who told you.

This led to quite a violent argument between Ranboo and Tubbo, but there was nothing Tubbo could do since you already knew the information he tried to keep from you.

Tubbo started ignoring you, so Ranboo was the one to try and get you used to walking around again, but this lead to the shorter male getting extremely jealous and helping you instead.

He frequently walks you around Snowchester on a strict set schedule, when he knows no one will be out and no mobs will be spawning.

One time, he didn’t expect Tommy to be walking around the snowy forests when he was walking with you, holding your hand to make sure you didn’t lose your balance. At least that’s what he told you.

Tommy looked... Empty, when he saw you both walking together. But his eyes darkened a bit when his blue eyes landed on your hands twinned together.

Tubbo looked a little hostile in your eyes, but he simply just gave Tommy a sharp smile before trying to pull you along as if he didn’t notice the tears beginning to pool in his ex-best friend’s eyes.

Tommy knew he lost right then and there, so he decided to say fuck it and start screaming degrading names at the two of you, catching you greatly off guard, hurting you badly enough to the point where your feelings were more than a little hurt.

When the founder of Snowchester realized that the blond hurt your feelings, he was quick to lash out back at the other man in your defence, but by then you were already walking away, back to the manor.

It took about ten minutes for him to realize that you went back to the mansion, but when he did, he sprinted through the door in an absolute panic before practically pouncing on you the second his eyes caught sight of you.

He protectively wrapped himself around you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you quietly rested your head against his shoulder.

After that, You and Tubbo became a lot closer emotionally. To the point where he called you his platonic wife jokingly, although you both knew he didn’t want to add platonic at the beginning.

He began to tell you about everything that weighed heavy on his shoulders, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war.

When he noticed that you were genuinely beginning to care about him, his manipulation and jealousy actually began to calm down quite a lot.

You could actually spend time with Michael and Ranboo without anyone getting yelled at by Tubbo and causing him to get ridiculously jealous.

He began to take over his job as the founder of Snowchester, now actually trusting Ranboo to keep you company and even letting him take you outside during the day. But he refused to let you out during the night.

He’s just worried about mobs. Creepers especially.

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

Tommy does often try and talk to you when Tubbo isn’t around, but both you and Ranboo try and put a stop to it as quickly as possible,

He’s lost.

He hurt you, and Ranboo couldn’t help but miss how Tubbo used to be, so if keeping Tommy away from you makes Tubbo act normal, he will damn well make sure that Tommy stays countries away from you.

This does cause Wilbur’s younger brother to break down a little bit, which you can genuinely understand, even if you hold a grudge against him for not saving you and yelling at you, you knew he did have feelings for you at one point even if he refused to admit it.

Unfortunately, this does cause quite a bit of pranks and explosions to stir up around Snowchester and the L’Manberg crater, but they stop within a few weeks. Tommy probably got scolded by either Sam, Phil or Puffy,

One morning, Tubbo invited you to spend a day outside of the mansion with him after a heavy snowfall.

He spent almost all morning outside, doing something he refused to tell you about, and when he came in to wake you up, his face was already cherry red from the cold.

How could he even want to go back into the freezing cold without any sort of warm drink or even sitting in front of the fire for a bit!?

“How are you so... Full of energy?” You murmured from behind the bathroom door as you got changed into your warmer clothing for when you do go outside. The door was cracked open a small bit so you could hear Tubbo rambling on and on about how he had a great surprise for you.

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” He was obviously grinning with excitement. When you walked out of the bathroom in your thick clothing and jacket, he bounced up from his spot on the edge of your bed, “Finally! Let’s go! Hurry, before it snows or gets warmer.”

You only nodded curiously and he grabbed your hand, eagerly pulling you out of your room and down the large stairs that lead towards the door. He pushed the large doors open with a bit of difficulty due to the snow piled up, but with your help, you both managed to slip out the door. Tubbo happily grabbed your hand again and began leading you down towards the docks where the water was covered with a thick sheet of ice, “Oh it must’ve got really cold last night... What are you showing me?”

“Over here!” He pulled you over to a large half-sphere made out of snow. He led you over to a hole in the side of it before dropping down to his knees and crawling through the entrance, “Come on!”

Blinking in surprise, you hesitantly followed him inside of the handmade snow building and gave a small gasp of glee as you saw that it was an igloo! The inside had a few blankets on the ground, preventing you from sitting on the icy snow-covered ground, there were a few lanterns placed on small snow hills preventing the small room from being dark, plus there was a small basket of what looked like two thermoses and a bit of food, “Tubbo! Did you build this?”

“I did! I also spent last night building it too!” He grinned widely, his ears wiggling with glee, “But this isn’t even the best part! Check over here!” The brunet shuffled over to another basket before pulling out a pair of white boots with silver blades bolted to the bottoms.

“Ice skates?” You tilted your head a bit as you crawled over and pulled out the pair that looked to be your size, “But I can’t skate...”/”How did you even know I could skate?”

Tubbo only turned his happy grin towards you, “I’ll show you how! Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall!”/”You briefly mentioned that you missed skating once or twice when you were all dopey on painkillers a few months ago!” He pulled out his pair of skates and began to take off his boots. (After getting his skates on he helped you with yours if you didn’t know how to lace them up.)

Once your new footwear was all tied up, he helped you up and carefully lead you outside with his arms tightly wrapped around you to help you keep your balance. (Even if you did know how to skate, he was still worried about you falling.) Tubbo carefully led you towards the ice and helped you stand up straight on the frozen water, making sure that you wouldn’t fall.

“See?” He smiled softly and held your hands tightly as he began to skate backwards, pulling you along with him until you slowly got a hold of what you were doing. “You (still) got it!”

You two slid and slipped around on the ice, laughing, smiling and spinning around with the other, but suddenly out of nowhere, your blade got caught in a groove of the ice that likely got chipped out when you two were skating around. With a small cry, you felt your legs slip out from under you and you immediately shut your eyes, awaiting the inevitable impact as a result of gravity.

Thankfully, two arms wrapped around your frame before you hit the ground. You slowly cracked open your eyes and saw your best friend holding you tightly against him. Your (e/c) eyes stared into his blue ones for a few moments before your face broke into a smile. “You caught me...”

“I would never let you fall...”

There two of you continued to skate around, having fun in the other's presence, completely unaware of the blond hidden behind a snowbank with his hand clasped tightly over his mouth and tears beginning to freeze to his reddened cheeks.

Tommy often found himself wishing he had let you fall...

=

Tommy & Tubbo Route - Rhythm of the Storm

Because your original housing was set between Snowchester and the Prime Path, it was surprisingly an equal distance between Tubbo’s mansion and Tommy’s house.

In the beginning, Tommy would go to your house first in the mornings, then leave around noon when Tubbo would come, but the constant social interaction left you always sleeping through either one of their visits.

It got to the point where you asked both of them to come by at the same time so you could talk with them both at the same time.

This caught them both off guard that you wanted both of their attention at the same time, but then only began to see benefits from them meeting with you together.

Now you weren’t out cold during the mornings when Tommy opened the door, and now you weren’t asleep by 2pm when Tubbo was over. Plus they could both take care of you at the same time!

There were a few times when either of the boys’ yandere tendencies peaked out, but you or the other would scold them out of it. Or Tommy would give Tubbo a small smack upside the head which would make him scream dramatically like a baby goat.

While they did take your injuries relatively seriously, they also were joking with you and cheered you up with their antics, preventing you from falling into a depression from staying inside all day and every day.

On a normal day, if you were awake and had more energy than normal, Tommy would be telling you incredible stories of his travels and Tubbo would be either making food or potions. Tommy isn’t allowed near the brewing stands or the stove anymore if you’re wondering.

On a bad day, if you barely had any energy and could barely stay awake, the two boys would be much quieter and let you sleep. On those days, they would ask Phil if you were actually okay, or they would go back to their respective homes.

If your burns are causing you immense amounts of pain one day, Tommy will refuse to even be in the same room as you and will genuinely beg Tubbo, Ranboo or Philza to stop your pain. Even if he doesn’t like others being around you, he’s beginning to accept Tubbo’s care towards you but he’s still wary about his father and Tubbo’s husband.

Speaking of, Ranboo and Michael had seemingly disappeared from Snowchester, but Phil assured you that they were both in the Tundra, (And to keep it a secret from Tubbo.)

On Phil’s latest visit, he told you that you could get up and out of bed without irritating the burns on your legs, although you might have trouble at first.

Upon hearing the news, Tubbo and Tommy were at your sides in seconds, asking if you wanted to get up and encouraging you to try. If you didn’t want to, they (mostly Tubbo) would understand about it and leave you to sit on the fact for a bit.

If you did, Tubbo would be at your injured side to make sure your bandages stayed together when you got up, while Tommy would be on your good side and mostly holding you up if your balance was bad enough.

Tubbo wanted to help you walk around at night, just in case you were self-conscious of your burns, but Tommy was too worried about any sort of mob approaching you. While they knew they could protect you, they just didn’t want to take any risks.

Tubbo will burst out crying after he hears an explosion, meanwhile, Tommy will freeze completely still. Which is also what happened during the mining incident that caused you to get injured, which is why Tubbo was the one to scream and continue to cry long after they had saved you.

Because of this, they don’t want to face a creeper with you around to see them panic and be in danger while they struggled to get themselves together.

When you’re out walking around, Tubbo is extremely patient and Tommy at least tries to hold his complaints. 

If someone even looks at you wrong, they’ll have an angry raccoon boy yelling threats at them and Tubbo drawing his sword. They usually run with their tails between their legs afterwards.

If you collapsed on the walk from the pain, the amount of panic that would happen would be enough to have every single parental figure in the SMP running to help you. Luckily when it did happen, Badboyhalo was there and was strong enough to carry you without irritating your burns, and even gave a few pointers on how to help with burns. He had to raise Sapnap. He would know.

When you woke up at your home, you saw Tubbo and Tommy actually having a civil conversation with the large 9ft demon rather than threatening him to get away from you. That could've been because he was a demon though. But you were still proud!

You guessed that they still thought you were asleep when Bad left because you heard them murmuring and trying to keep quiet as they most likely made lunch.

Because of their conversation with Bad, and proving to you that they can actually behave themselves, you began to realize that their Yandere tendencies were calming down a lot. Meaning you weren't scared of them that much anymore, and you were beginning to accept their feelings towards you.

Unfortunately... You couldn't pick between them... And didn't know how open they would be to polyamory, but seeing as they weren't ripping each other's throats out, maybe their reactions wouldn't be too terrible?

Tubbo began to tell you about everything that bothered him, currently and formerly, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war, or the nukes disappearing and his worry about whether or not Tommy cares about him.

Tommy also began to open up as well. Telling you about his brothers and father, his exile, his fear that Tubbo doesn't care about him anymore, and his third canon death.

After the two began to open up more, you began to realize they weren't being as clingy and desperate for your attention, most likely now trusting you to spend time with people other than them.

Maybe because they were catching on to you slowly beginning to return their feelings...

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

A few weeks after your body became completely healed, the two boys spent a few days away from you, which you were curious about but never really commented on it.

One day when they both arrived at your house at their usual time, they were dressed up for an adventure and their bags were filled with everything that anyone would need.

They eagerly pulled you out of bed at some ungodly hour in the morning, although Tubbo thankfully had breakfast (and coffee) ready which you ate before going to get dressed into appropriate clothing and your god armour that Tubbo made, that was equipped with a new god sword that Tommy made you!

This was your first adventure since the explosion in the mine, and you damn well wanted to have fun.

"Okay, okay! Damn, Big Man, calm down!" You groaned as you threw the bag over your shoulders and tightened the straps accordingly. Once you tied up the laces on your boots, you straightened up and without fail, you felt both of your hands being grabbed before you got dragged out the door.

"We've been planning this for a few days! Nothing will stop us now!" Tubbo cheered, hopping along beside you as he held your scarred hand, "We have everything we could ever need for the next week!"

Your surprised reaction was ignored as Tommy continued dragging you down the Prime Path with a map in his free hand, "A whole week? That's quite a long adventure! Are you sure we'll be able to handle it?"

"Relax (N/n)! We were both raised by Philza Minecraft! Y'know, Survivalist extraordinaire? We know how to ration, build a shelter if needed, and everything in between!" Tubbo gave you a wide and cheesy grin as he spoke about the man who raised him, despite not actually being related to him. (Dadschlatt AU if you're wondering)

The three of you ventured off through many acres of forests and other biomes, holding hands and chatting away the entire time. Tommy let it slip that you were going to find buried treasure and maybe a woodland mansion if you were feeling brave enough, which is why he was always holding the map.

"Tommy, (Y/n)! Look!" Tubbo squeaked out happily as he saw a field of dozens of different flowers with bees hurriedly buzzing about to pollinate the plants around. The sight of the yellow and black bugs caused Tubbo to make happy little bleating sounds as his ears wiggled.

You and Tommy exchanged glances with a small smile, knowing very well you wouldn't be able to pull the hybrid away from them. "I suppose it is about time for a break..." You murmured as you were dragged off by the smaller brunet, thus pulling Tommy along as well.

The three of you sat down in the flower field, placing out a blanket to prevent yourselves from getting covered in dirt, despite knowing that it'll happen anyway. You set out the food Tubbo had packed while the two teenage boys ran around, having fun and, well just being teenagers.

Yes, Tommy got chased by bees.

Tubbo made you, himself and Tommy a flower crown, which you proudly wore, but Tommy was a bit more hesitant which you eventually made him get over by giving him a begging look. Yours was a bunch of (f/f) varying with colours, Tubbo's was a variety of yellows and white flowers, while Tommy's was mostly red and white.

While you three enjoyed your small picnic, you were all completely unaware of the fleeting bees, closing flowers and scattering animals. It was only when Tubbo's ears began to flick oddly did he lift his head, "I think there's a storm quickly approaching..."

You lifted your head and rose your arm to block the sun from your eyes to look at the quickly darkening clouds, "Oh damn, yeah we gotta go find shelter. Like now." You hurriedly grabbed your bag and began shoving the foot containers in it while Tommy and Tubbo packed everything else up too.

Despite your best efforts, you three quickly got caught in the downpour of rain and became absolutely drenched in rain by the time you found a small and shallow cave to hide in. "Aw fuck... Absolutely perfect! Sam said it wasn't gonna rain todaaaaay!" Tommy whined dramatically as he slumped against the stone wall.

You sighed and began pulling out the blanket again, knowing very well that you'd all be here for a while. When Tommy stopped whining about how he thought it was gonna be perfect weather, he helped Tubbo with starting a fire so you could all dry your sweaters that you had been wearing.

The two boys plopped down on the blanket on either side of you, Tommy hiding his head on your shoulder while Tubbo was curled up with his head against your lap, (After asking for permission of course) trying their best to drown out the sound of the sounds of the booming thunder.

After a few moments, you used the consistent pattern in the rain to keep beat before beginning to hum a soft tune while you ran your fingers through their damp hair.

Slowly, Tommy and Tubbo fell asleep, leaning against you while you hummed along to the rhythm of the storm...

=

Neither Route - Left the Game

Your house was quite out of the way from the Prime Path and Snowchester, in fact, quite possibly even closer to the Tundra. (In this route.)

Meaning that you were pretty far out of the way from everyone except for Ranboo, Phil and Techno. Which prevented both Tubbo and Tommy from coming around often, meaning Ranboo and Phil had to help you with a lot.

You felt bad because you didn't know either of them too, too well, but at least you knew you would definitely be getting better.

Ranboo actually had no problem helping you with your injuries, although he had to carefully write down what he gave you and when.

During your road to recovery, Ranboo and Tubbo's relationship became incredibly worse as the goat hybrid became even more manipulative and violent.

You became a personal therapist and babysitter for him and Michael, in return for him helping take care of you.

Speaking of Michael, the reason Ranboo hadn't joined you on the mining trip was because Phil had finished making a potion that would allow Michael to survive in the Tundra.

Tubbo and Tommy's violent habits had quickly doubled over the time when they couldn't see you, but luckily for you, the one time they did try to visit, Techno had come with Phil to meet you.

They ran out immediately.

Yes, Techno asked you about how you felt about anarchy.

Whether or not you joined the Syndicate is up to you.

Ranboo then told Techno and Phil about how Tubbo and Tommy were obsessed with you, and that your life was possibly in danger.

Technoblade only said that he had no way to help you, but Philza's fatherly instincts kicked in and he wanted to protect you both from the two boys he raised.

Once you got all healed up your burns scarred over, Phil and Ranboo already had an idea of how to keep you both and Michael safe.

It was highly risky and would leave you with only one life until you come back to the DreamSMP.

Phil was going to give you access to his Hardcore server.

Both you and Ranboo had a long and serious talk about it, but then remembered he was literally rich. He had dozens of totems!

Techno made you three totem pendants for you to wear around your necks, so you wouldn't always have to hold the totems.

(Philza asked his wife, Kristen the Goddess of Void and Death, to keep an extra close eye on you three and make sure if any of you do die, it's incredibly quick and painless.)

Standing in front of Phil, your bags filled with everything you would need to survive in the hardcore world, you watched as the centuries-old avian scanned you three up and down.

"I'll ask you both one final time." He sighed after he deemed all of your equipment and armour worthy. The blond fatherly figure stood in front of you and Ranboo as you held Michael with a glowing green orb in his hand, "Are you sure? There are no respawns when you run out of totems."

"Yes. It'll be much safer than the DreamSMP..." Ranboo murmured quietly, quickly scrawling as much as he could fit into his memory book before he forgot anything, "Even if it isn't permanent... We just need to run."

When Phil turned to you, you couldn't help but take a deep breath, "Yeah," You murmured, shifting the young piglin child on your hip, "I'm sure. Thanks again Philza... We really needed to be somewhere where they wouldn't find us..."

"I'll check up on you both once a week. Remember, travelling through servers will disorient you for quite a while and you quite probably won't understand where you are at first-"

"(Y/n)!!!" An angry yell came from the forest, and you turned your head just in time to see Tommy and Tubbo running in your direction.

You and Ranboo hurriedly whipped your head to face Phil again, but he seemed to have caught on before you both as there was a portal swirling with greens and golds beside him, "Go! Now! I'll see you both tomorrow! Remember, you can take anything you need to increase the chances of your survival!"

Ranboo got over his shock much quicker than you did because he grabbed your arm and leapt through the portal, bringing you and Michael along.

Ranboo Beloved left the game.

(Y/n) (L/n) left the game.

Michael Underscore-Beloved left the game.

[happysoot]

waking up together || dream smp blurbs

✧ pairings ↠ sapnap x reader, karl x reader, quackity x reader, niki x reader.           ↠ dream smp!characters; in-game au; gn!reader.

✧ warnings ↠ none! this is very, very fluffy.

✧ word count ↠ 1.6k.

✧ a/n ↠ this is my first time writing for any of the dream smp characters, but I had a lot of fun with this! soft gentle domestic fluff makes my heart happy :’) ! if you have any requests or suggestions, please please send them in! <3

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ

✧ sapnap x reader ✧

waking up beside sapnap is like waking up beside a teddy bear. when he sleeps, he runs hot, and that means that every time you wake up together, you’re smothered in a warm embrace that heats you up completely. once it’d become clear that you enjoy sleeping beside him, you’d had to adapt, taking on a few traditions to balance out the warmth you get from his cuddles.

you sleep in less, choosing light pyjamas or t-shirts over a hoodie like you might’ve previously done. the duvet you rest beneath is thinner, and often you’ll end up kicking it off in your sleep. all you need is sapnap, and the warmth of his arms curled around you, and despite the changes that you’ve had to make, you wouldn’t want it any other way. nothing beats how safe you feel wrapped up with your face buried in his chest.

sapnap likes to wake you up with gentle kisses up your neck. he’ll shyly run the line up to your jaw, often leaving a chaste kiss to the tip of your chin before shuffling down and burying his face in your neck as he whines about the gaps in the blinds. it doesn’t matter what time it is, nor how much sleep you’ve both had—sap never wants to wake up, and you never want to let him go.

so you cuddle together, often into the afternoon. if you’ve both had busy weeks and haven’t spent much time together, cuddling in the mornings is the best way to recharge. he’s always so cute, too. nothing brings out sapnap’s adoration for you like the gentle warmth of the morning, and he loves showering you with his favourite pet names. with his inhibitions sleepy and lowered, he’s quick to shower you with any nickname that comes to mind, mumbling them into the air without a second thought—sweetheart, angel, cutie.

he’s so doting, constantly lifting his face so he can kiss you, or running his hand soothingly over your side. sapnap holds you like you’re his entire world—and maybe, with the way he holds you so tightly and whimpers every time you try to shift away—you are.

✧ karl x reader ✧

karl is always frantic in the mornings, his eyes widening with panic the moment he stirs awake. with desperate hands, he carefully runs his fingers all over your face, tracing the lines of your nose, your cheeks and lips with his fingertips. it used to confuse you—you never understood why he held you so tightly and seemed relieved every time you opened your eyes to smile at him, but then you found out about the spaces in his memory, and things became clearer.

he has a routine now, some steps he likes to complete each morning to calm himself. as soon as he wakes, karl turns in the bed to face you, pressing his cheek onto the same pillow as yours as he lifts his hand to rest on your face. while he waits for you to wake up, he gently strokes his fingers across your cheek, his eyes analysing every line of your face, every ridge of your skin, and every strand of your hair as he scrambles to print them to his memory.

when you blink open your eyes, he’s usually looking at you, or he’s resting close with his eyes shut. you let him know that you’re awake by cuddling closer and linking your hands together, squeezing his fingers until he hums. you have a quick exchange of muttered words, neither of you wanting to break the softness of the silence—

‘did you sleep well, baby?’ / ‘yeah, karl. did you?’ / ‘mmm. you look so pretty in the morning.’

like his hands, once you’re awake, karl likes to run his mouth across your face, learning your skin with his lips. following this, he likes to nudge you onto your back and climb on top of you, warm body resting over yours as he holds your face in his hands and studies you attentively. you always like to tangle your hands in his hair, loosely playing with the messy strands of his hair as he whispers words of affirmation between gentle kisses to your cheeks, his loving words doused in soft pink—

’i love you so much, baby, you look so perfect today… so cute. so beautiful. i'm so lucky.’

he holds you with purpose, always keeping at least one hand on you at all times. you’re like a grounding force to him, and he hates straying too far from your side. even when you both eventually get up, he slips his hand in yours and you let it stay there, swinging between you, for as long as he needs it to be there. sometimes you stay connected all day.

✧ quackity x reader ✧

quackity is a very busy man, always scheming, always plotting. you don’t get to spend much time together during the day, so he always makes the most of the moments you share each morning.

he’s the type of person who finds the energy to spring to life suddenly every morning, possessing the quality of being able to wake up one moment and then be fully alert the next. though he never tries to intentionally rouse you, he somehow always ends up coaxing you from your slumber, either through trying to tug you closer or muttering his adoring coos too loudly.

he’s always quick to apologise and offer up tighter cuddles or soft kisses in reparation, and really, you think it’d be hard to hold a grudge against him. quackity is always so cute in the mornings—he melts around you so easily, losing his brash sense of humour whenever you rest together. he might be calmer, but he’s still got that charmingly boyish twinkle in his eyes, and if quackity’s feeling particularly mischievous, sometimes he’ll let his hands go on a wander around your figure as he rasps praising profanities into your ear.

quackity’s usually the first out of bed, and though he leaves you alone to go and make some breakfast, he always comes back, bringing with him your favourite foods and drinks. you sit up against the headboard and he stretches out across the bottom of the bed, staring up at the ceiling with one of his arms in the air, the other resting on the bottom of your leg as you chat. he always likes to know what your plans for the day are, always likes to see if he can find small slots in his schedule to break away and meet up with you.

when he leaves you, it’s never in a hurry, even if he’s got places to be. he prioritises you over everything—hangs onto your lips until he has to go, buries his face in your neck to inhale your scent, squeezes your hands until your fingers ache. both of you treasure the mornings because they’re so serene and so safe, and he keeps the memory of you tucked up together locked away in the back of his mind as he goes about his day, falling back to it every time things get tough. you are his favourite daydream.

✧ niki x reader ✧

since niki started baking again, it’s less often that you’ll find yourself waking up beside your girlfriend. most mornings, niki is gone hours before you stir, enjoying walking through the rays of early-morning sun as she goes to her bakery to start preparing the food. you’re used to an empty bed beside you, but it never deeply upsets you.  

niki always leaves small reminders, hidden all around the house, to express her love towards you even when she can’t be by your side. she always tucks you in before she goes, and she carefully smoothes your hair from your face. sometimes, if you’re sleeping lightly, you’ll rouse just enough to feel her kiss your forehead as she goes out. she is always so soft with you, even so early, closing the doors gently and leaving your favourite mug out by the kettle.

though you’ve told her a thousand times before that you don’t mind her absence—how could you, when being in the bakery makes her so happy?—niki always tries to make it up to you. most days, she’ll drop by briefly when her loaves are rising just to see you again, always with a fresh pastry or a loaf of your favourite bread, scattered with the seeds in the shape of a heart. 

she kisses your cheek and asks you about your dreams, letting your hands swing between you both, your fingers wrapped in hers. when she has to go back to the bakery, you’ll usually walk with her, pinkies interlocked, listening to her tell you stories from her morning and letting the sounds of her laughter light up the air like the sweetest birdsong.

as much as you’re used to the empty bed beside you, on the rare mornings where niki does sleep in, it has to be one of your favourite things.

she curls up into you, face nuzzled into your chest. her hair always smells of sweet strawberries, scent drifting up your nose and alerting you to her presence before you feel her. niki is like a soft ball of warmth, so gentle even in her sleep, never moving too much. she’s usually awake before you, but she never rushes you to wake up. she waits until you’ve got your eyes open too to do anything, and even then, nothing is rushed.

it’s all gentle caresses and forehead kisses, shared whispers about dreams and the cosiness of your bed. you savour the feeling of her nose pressed to yours as she giggles. you like to have a hand wrapped around her, your palm resting on her back as you hold her to you, and she likes tangling your legs together and playing with your hair. things are gentle in the mornings with niki, and like the actions of the rising sun, she coaxes you into the day with ease.

[dreamerstreamer]

Friendly Figure

Pairing: Fundy x gn!reader (can be read as both romantic & platonic!)

Summary: [Dream SMP!AU] While Fundy may have had more than his fair share of poor fatherly figures, he’s more than grateful to have you.

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: this was requested by an anon who wanted a story surrounding fundy’s life story within the smp! this ended up being a fun combination of a character study with an actual story, and i loved it. i hope you enjoy, as well!

You waved your arm eagerly as you sank your teeth into another bite of delicious pumpkin pie. “Bye, Niki!” you called out between muffled chews. “Thanks for the pie!”

A few yards away, you saw her wave back, raising a hand to cup her mouth as she yelled back. “You’re welcome! I’ll see you two tomorrow!”

You sent her one last wide grin before turning on your heel, twirling your fork in your hands as you set off down the path once more. Niki really did make the best pie.

You hummed as you watched the sun dip below the horizon, the sky painted with fading streaks of salmon and lavender. Beside you, Fundy grumbled, his ears flicking atop his head in annoyance as he eyed the plate in your hands. “Why did you get an extra slice and I didn’t?”

You raised a brow at him, shooting him an unimpressed look. “Because you didn’t ask, nimrod.” Pointing your fork at him, you scoffed. “If you did, I bet Niki would have handed one over, no questions asked.”

He wrinkled his nose, at you a scowl stretching across his face. “‘Nimrod’?” he parroted. “You’ve been hanging out too much with Karl.”

You stabbed your fork into the pie in your hands, watching as the crust crumbled delectably onto your plate. “What can I say? He’s nice!”

Fundy looked appalled. “And I’m not?”

You stared at him, blinking for a moment, then shrugged, a teasing glint dancing across your eyes. “Eh. You’re alright, I guess.”

He glowered, raising his arms as you took a cautionary step back. “Why, you little—”

“Fundy!”

You and Fundy both stopped dead in your tracks, your fork dropping onto your plate with a clatter. Your eyes met, and a mutual look of discomfort passed between your gazes.

You would recognize that voice anywhere.

Slowly, the two of you turned, your gazes landing on a familiar worn yellow sweater, the cloth fraying at the edges after years of wear. In front of you, you could only stare as Ghostbur jogged up to Fundy, his dark, near-translucent eyes glimmering with hope.

Fundy coughed, trying and failing to hide the discomfort growing on his face as he offered a small wave. “Uh, hi, Ghostbur.”

Ghostbur’s pale lips curled into a frown, his brows furrowing. “Why the long face?” He leaned over, gently elbowing Fundy’s side, missing the way his son stiffened at his touch. “Aren’t you excited to see me?”

Fundy lurched back, clutching at where he had been touched. “Not really.”

Ghostbur let out a small whine, his shoulders drooping. “Aw, come on. Why don’t we have some father-son bonding time together?” He sent him a goofy grin, his eyes twinkling with nostalgia. “You know, just like the old days.”

You heart ached at the pain that flickered across Fundy’s face, his ears pressing flat against his head. There were no father-son bonding times when Wilbur was alive—at least not the kind that ended with actual bonding.

Fundy shuffled back a bit, and you instinctively took a step closer to his side. “No thanks,” he muttered softly, averting his eyes to the ground. “I’d rather not.”

Ghostbur’s smile faltered, and something sad flashed through his gaze. “Ah, um, w-well, maybe we could catch up?” A tinge of desperation seeped into his tone, and he lifted a shaky hand toward him. “I haven’t seen you in a whi—“

Fundy raised a hand, and Ghostbur fell silent. “I’m good, thanks.” He offered him a smile, but it was strained and didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I actually think I’m gonna get going now. Bye.”

Before Ghostbur could even think to respond, he dropped his hand, whipping around and striding away. You blinked, your head still reeling with everything that had happened as you watched Fundy walk off. Tightening your grip on your plate, you took a step forward to follow after him when a quiet voice stopped you.

“[Y/N],” Ghostbur said, his voice coming out small.

You stiffened, then turned, swallowing as you sent him a wary glance over your shoulder. “Yes, Ghostbur?”

The moment his name left your lips, you froze, your jaw going slack. The light had left his eyes, and he only stared down at the ground with a vacant gaze, his hands limp at his sides.

You’d never seen Ghostbur look so... sad. So miserable. He looked defeated—broken. Then again, maybe he was.

Did Fundy really affect him so much?

“Please,” he said softly, so quietly that you could have mistaken it for a breeze. “Please tell me.”

He raised his head, and a pang of sorrow ran through your heart as he took a weary step toward you, his hand gripping at the fabric over his heart. “Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make him hate me so much?”

You blinked at him, pondering, then glanced down at the half-eaten slice of pie on your plate. A frown skittered across your face. You didn’t have much of an appetite, anymore. Sucking in a deep breath, you looked back at him.

“Ghostbur,” you said, “just like how there are some things we cannot change, there are some wounds we cannot mend, no matter how much we try. Your relationship with Fundy is one of them.”

He frowned, a sour gleam flashing in his ghostly eyes. “That’s not fair. I don’t want him to hate my like this forever.”

Something bitter rippled through you, and you snapped, “What you did to him wasn’t fair either, Ghostbur, but there’s no fixing that now.”

He flinched at your sudden shift in tone, and you almost wanted to apologize. Almost. Swallowing, he dropped his gaze to the ground, his voice dropping to a low whisper. “Was I really so cruel?”

You stared at him for a few long moments. Then, you opened your mouth, and what came out was tasted like ice on your tongue.

“Yes. You were.”

Before you could feel even a grain of pity for him, you flipped around on your heel, striding off in the direction Fundy had left. How dare he be so upset that his son hated him when he was the one who made it so. You had seen it all, had seen every despicable choice he made as he chose to neglect his son, as he chose to abandon your best friend.

You couldn’t pity him—you would not allow yourself to.

Taking a shaky breath, you squeezed your fork a little tighter as you made your way down the walkway in search of Fundy. You already knew where he was—of course you knew. What kind of best friend would you be if you didn’t?

The sun had long set by now, and above you the stars twinkled like tiny, flickering candles. You trudged along the dark path, accompanied only by the moon’s soft light before you suddenly veered off the trail. Pushing past the low-hanging branches of the forest, you finally stepped up onto the cliffside, spotting Fundy sitting with his back leaning against yours and his favourite tree back from when you were little.

With a small twitch of your lips, you walked up to him, watching as his ears flicked in your direction. You could never surprise him, as much as you may try, so you simply settled into the space next to him, setting your pie down next to you. He was staring out over the forest below, his legs dangling freely off the edge. You tilted your head at him, then spoke.

“Hey, bud,” you said softly, your eyes scanning the somber look on his face. “You doing alright?”

His gaze flit to yours, then back over the cliff once more. “Sort of. Ish. I guess.”

You sent him an unconvinced look, and he paused, then let a loose sigh escape his lips. “No, not really.”

Leaning back, you offered him a weary smile. “Yeah, I figured. That chat with Ghostbur didn’t go over so well.”

Slowly, he pulled back his legs, curling them up to his chest and resting his head atop his knees. “I know he means well, but it just makes me feel sick, the way he talks to me. It’s not his fault, I know, but I...” He swallowed. “I—“

“It’s okay,” you murmured, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.”

He sent you a thankful grin, then his smile fell. Scooting back a bit further, he looked up at the stars, his expression thoughtful. “You know,” he said suddenly, “my experiences with dads has been kind of awful.”

You blinked at him, stunned, then blurted, “You just realized?”

He laughed, his ivory grin glinting in the moonlight. “No, but I think talking to Ghostbur today really got me thinking about it more.” His tail flicked behind him. “Growing up, I always felt like I just had to please Wilbur—like I had to be the best for him.” An almost hopeful look overtook his features. “After all, I was his little champion, right?”

He bit the inside of his cheek. “But he never paid any attention to me. He was always focused on fighting wars and becoming president and—“ He sucked in a deep breath. “—and then he died.”

He furrowed his brows, and you could practically hear his train of thought speeding forward. “Looking back, I can hardly remember a single good thing he did for me. I mean, he wasn’t so bad when I was a baby and stuff, but when I needed him most, he was just...” He paused. “...gone.”

Suddenly, he whipped his head up and turned to look at you. “And then don’t even get me started with Eret. You know, I trusted him.” He held up a hand, gesturing wildly as his tail stood up straight. “He was actually nice to me, [Y/N]. He listened to me and gave me good advice, just like a real dad would. Then the papers came and... and... nothing.”

He stopped, his voice dropping to a tiny whisper. “Again.”

For a moment, he was silent. Then, he let out a long, bitter laugh.

“Oh,” he said, his tone growing wistful, “nothing’s changed, has it?” He ran a hand through his messy hair, his eyes growing glossy in the moonlight, “I’m all alone, just like before.”

Just like that, your heart snapped into two, and you opened your mouth. “That’s not true, Fundy.”

The look he sent you was full of nothing but pure anguish. “It is, isn’t it? I’m just the forgotten son—“ He held up two fingers. “—twice over, now. No one wants me, no one at a—“

Before he could finish, he was cut off by you barreling straight into him, knocking him flat onto his back. Your arms caged him in as you panted over him, your eyes vividly scanning his as he stared at you in shock.

“Fundy,” you breathed, desperation soaking your words, “listen to me. You’ve changed. You’re stronger now, more resilient, and I see that.”

Slowly, you snaked a hand up to rest against his face, your palm pressed against this cheek. “I want you, Fundy. I’m here with you—I always have been, and I always will be.”

Your gaze hardened as it bore into his, steadfast and true. “And as long as I’m by your side, you will never be alone.”

He blinked up at you, his lips parted in awe. Then, ever so slowly, a smile, small but sincere, spread across his face. “Thank you, [Y/N],” he whispered.

Crawling back, you reached a hand out toward him, your smile widening as he grasped it in his. “Anytime, buddy.”

With a grunt, you pulled him forward until he was sitting upright once more. “You know what?” he said abruptly as you let go of his hand.

You cocked your head at him, your eyebrows knitting together. “Hm?”

Fundy flashed you a bright grin, lopsided and goofy in all the right ways. “Who needs a father figure when I have you?”

Your eyes widened as you sputtered, “W-What?”

His gaze suddenly grew serious. “You’re all I need. You’re like...” He trailed off, searching for the right words. “...my friendly figure.”

A few seconds passed in silence as you blinked at him. Then, you burst into laughter, not missing the way his tail bristled at the sound. “Fundy,” you wheezed, “that’s a horrible name.”

He shot you an irritable look. “Well, do you have a better one?”

Your laughter slowly came to a halt, and your eyes crinkled at the corners. “Yes,” you said. “A best friend.”

He looked at you for a moment, then smiled back. “I like that one better.”

Suddenly, you turned, reaching out to your side. “You know what’s even better than that, though?”

His ears twitched. “What?”

When you turned, you held a familiar plate in your hands, a giggle threatening to bubble out of your throat as you took in his shocked expression. “Some pie.” You shoved a fork in his face—a new one. “Here, we can finish it together.”

He sent you a quizzical look, disbelief clouding his features. “Since when did you have a second fork?”

Without missing a beat, you stabbed the new fork into the soft, flaky dessert and held it up to his lips. “No questions. Only pie.”

He blinked at you for another moment, then grinned, opening his mouth wide for you to shovel some pie in.

You really were all he needed.

[stellocchia]

Ok, I've somehow seen quite a few people around saying some things that I just cannot agree with, so let's discuss them:

1) Tommy had no character development. He's a stale character. I'm gonna guess this people have never seen a Tommy stream or a stream involving Tommy at all. This boy has sacrificed so much and changed so much I'm shocked at how many people don't seem to see it.

Let's analyse this from yesterday's stream: he finally gave up the disks after realizing that they really aren't worth his friendships, he apologized multiple times for the things he's done, he recognizes that he's done some awful stuff and that he was becoming someone he didn't want to and actively decided to change his course of action (it is to be pointed out that he and Ranboo are literally the only characters who admitted to their wrongdoings, everyone else still acts like they're on this moral high horse, which is kind of frustrating), at the bench he admitted that, no matter what he's been through, it's not an excuse for his actions. Also he immediately took charge in trying to protect his old friends and the country that threw him out and left him to die trying to left any grudges aside in favour of working towards their common goal. Old Tommy would never have done that! Remember he refused Eret's help multiple times even when he was exiled with Wilbur because of his betrayal? This boy has changed...

2) He betrayed Techno. No he didn't. He was clear with Techno from the start about not wanting to harm Tubbo or destroy L'Manburg. What happened there is that neither of them listened to the other, they both knew their objectives didn't align, but they thought they could change each other mind.

This is obvious when Tommy asks Techno: "You're not really siding with Dream are you?" Or something along those lines. Also it is to be pointed out that Techno did say that he still respected Tommy and that he would respect his decision (which is honestly the most character development we've seen from Techno so far...) and also one more little detail: Techno was siding with Tommy's past abuser! How could Techno think Tommy would be on board with that? He saw the effects of Dream's influence on him! (This is honestly just so frustrating to me...)

3) Niki did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, I know this is controversial and I probably should look at her vod, so my opinion may change later on but, for now though, Niki what the Hell was that?!

Let's start from how everyone immediately believed Dream's accusations, no questions asked. Tommy was right in being angry that no-one (aside from Techno and later Ranboo) stood up for him. Hell, they all still believed Dream after he literally admitted to manipulating Tubbo for the disk, to the fact that he literally only cared about the disk and the fact that his objective was to destroy L'Manburg from the start! He basically told them all to their faces that he was using and manipulating them and they all still went: "yep, seems trustworthy to me!"... are you kidding me?!

So, if everyone was acting so extremely dumb, why am I singling out Niki? Because of the way she attacked Tommy mostly, it was just so hypocritical. She was in the revolution, she saw him fight for L'Manburg, time and time again. And sure, he made a mistake, burned down George's house (which was an accident by the way) and he got punished for it! She knows he'd been exiled because they met before now in canon. He already paid for his actions! Heck, he's literally the only one on the server who ever had any official repercussions for his actions! And still she blames him for all of their problems! The guy who, once more, was willing to give up everything, including his last life, for people who, honestly, don't deserve it one bit. She blamed him constantly, said that he was nothing but a lier (sure he didn't admit immediately to his crime when he burned down George's house, but he did at the end! And that was the only time he lied in an important way! Come on! Plus, as I said before, he already paid for his crimes!)

Also Tommy hasn't been in L'Manburg in months in smp time, and everything fell apart anyway, it just feels very unfair to blame him for everything. Especially when you have Dream right there, admitting to be a manipulative ass and wanting to destroy everything! And especially after you have a 16 year old child-soldier telling everyone in a very obvious way that Dream abused him in exile. (He didn't state it directly, but it was impossible not to understand). At this point it just really feels like victim blaming. I'm sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding Niki's character, admittingly I don't watch her, so feel free to correct me if I missed something big, but that's just how it felt.

Some last few considerations:

I'm gonna admit I'm sad Techno and Tommy split apart. I loved them together and I really don't think L'Manburg deserves Tommy right now... because it is true that they threw him out at the first hardship they encountered and then left him to die, it is true that they never really tried to get him back and it's true that they never stood up for him. Time and time again they forced him in the position of the hero and then acted like that was just what he owed them, but it isn't. He doesn't owe them his life, he doesn't owe them his loyalty, he didn't even owe them his disks! But this is Tommy's choice (even Techno recognized) and he chose to, once again, be selfless. He could have stayed with Techno and chose the easy path, the safe path, but he decided to stand up for what he believes in and fight for his ideals and I think that's something we can all respect in a character.

I hope the others (especially the adults... please don't let the literal kids of the server be the only rational ones...) will be able to put their grudges aside and fight together for the greater good... but I have the feeling they'll fall apart. So adamant in not being on Tommy's side that they'll end up helping Dream take over. Also I'm so afraid for Ranboo and Tommy right now, I feel like at least one of them isn't gonna survive today (either that or Ranboo will switch sides).

Also, Punz is not gonna betray them in this battle, or at least, that wasn't the plan he and Dream had. Dream was planning to do something big that would force him to leave for a while and was planning to leave Punz there as his spy on the inside. Their plan is going swimmingly so far...

(Also, on a little note, I love how supportive and understanding Fundy was of Ranboo after the reveal of his "betrayal". He thinks Ranboo was right, he still trusts him and I just... their friendship just makes me so soft and it's honestly my favourite relationship in the smp)

[lucemferto]

I talk about the current troubles of the Dream SMP.

If you want to help me out, please reblog! You can also retweet my tweet and upvote my reddit post. Thank you.

Script under the cut

I really hope Technoblade succeeds in breaking Dream out of prison.

Now why would I say that? Well, it’s because there’s this feeling in the fandom right now that Dream SMP Season 3 is … going slow. That there’s not much happening. Some have blamed it on the pace of how lore streams are doled out, saying we get too little lore stretched out over too much time. Others postulate that it’s the quality of the lore – that the individual plot points are badly told or that the high production value of certain streams prevent the story from gaining momentum.

Now, because I’m me, I think I identified the problem as something that’s structurally wrong with Season 3 as opposed to Seasons 1 and 2. In order to explain that we must look at one of my favourite narratological theories: the Three-Act-Structure.

But before we get into that, here’s your obligatory reminder to please like this video, comment your thoughts down below in order to help me with YouTube’s algorithm and subscribe if you really like my stuff. Please feel free to check out my social media presences and share my videos on there so that more people have the chance to see them. Thank you so much.

Let’s get back to the video:

 Chapter 1: The Three-Act-Structure Explained

The Three-Act-Structure as a model to explain narratives finds its roots far in the past with its earliest recorded instance being in the fourth century by the Roman grammarian Aelius Donatus though similar ideas were also expressed by everyone’s favourite Greek philosopher Aristotle.

Since then, the model has been continuously evolved and used throughout recorded history. There are also alternative models such as the Five-Act-Structure, the Six-Act-Structure, the Eight-Act-Structure, the … Nine-Act-Structure, Jesus Christ. But the Three-Act-Structure has reigned the undisputed champion in modern-day creation and analysis of narratives.

The particulars of the Three-Act-Structure as we know it today were codified in Syd Field’s 1979 work “Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting”, which has since become the Go-To-Work when it comes being a screenwriter in Hollywood. You want to write a script? You need the read the “Screenplay”.

The modern Three-Act-Structure is comprised of the following points/sequences:

-       The Backstory/Exposition: Exactly what it says on the tin. Sets up the Ordinary World that the characters inhabit, let’s us know about what character’s general deal is. It serves as an introduction to the story and world of your narrative.

-       The Point of Attack: This one is not often talked about and doesn’t feature in every story, but it’s still worth mentioning. This is where the major tension/conflict/dramatic question (structurally, these terms fulfil roughly the same function) is set into motion. It usually doesn’t include the protagonists of the story, but rather the antagonists.

-       The Inciting Incident: This is where the protagonists are sent on their way. We are introduced to their personal conflict and given a reason as to why they would have to leave the Ordinary World behind.

-       The Turning Point: This marks the end of Act I, where the personal conflicts of the protagonists and the major conflict of the overarching story intersect and coalesce. It is the natural fallout of the inciting incident, the big dramatic status quo change that we need in order to get the story going.

This naturally leads into Act II, where all the minor character conflicts are resolved and integrated into the larger conflict. This is what is referred to as the Rising Action: through the resolution and incorporation of the minor conflicts into the major conflicts, the story gains momentum. The action rises.

This act has two big culminations:

-       The Mid Point: The first culmination or Mid-Point sees some sort of shift in the major conflict. Maybe all the minor conflicts set-up in Act I are resolved and thus the major conflict becomes the full focus or the major conflict gains an additional factor. Instead of defeating the evil bad guy, the Heroes now have to defeat the Bad Guy and save the Damsel

-       The Lowest Point: The Lowest Point marks the end of Act II. Here the villains are just short of victory or maybe even achieve victory. In a romantic movie, this is the cliché end of Act II fallout which naturally leads into chasing the Hero chasing the love interest into an airport.

With the Lowest Point, the Heroes begin the third act almost or fully defeated. The stakes are high and everything seems hopeless. But then comes:

-       The Twist/Resolution: Usually, the twist coincides with either the protagonist or some sort of character having a eureka-moment or resolving their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need.

-       The Climax: With their problems resolved, the protagonists can venture forth to stop the villains or antagonistic force or save their love life.

-       The Dénouement: After the villain’s defeat/the resolution of the final conflict, the protagonist returns to the ordinary world, but changed by their experiences. The Dénouement is the one part of Act III, that can really drag it out – think the many, many endings of Return of the King for instance.

Up until now, I usually focused on that end of Act II/Act III-part when discussing the storytelling of the Dream SMP such as the Final Disc War, November 16th or Doomsday. Because Doomsday wasn’t just the Lowest Point in terms of storytelling quality.

But for Season 3, I instead want to focus on this section, The Inciting Incident and The Turning Point. Because this is where the current storytelling falters. The narrative has failed to pick up momentum, something that is achieved through a successful Inciting Incident and Turning Point.

So, I want to make the theory palpable and apply the Three-Act-Structure – with focus on Act I and early Act II – to all three Seasons of the Dream SMP to see where Seasons 1 & 2 succeeded and Season 3 failed.

 Chapter 2: The Three-Act-Structure Applied

Despite being much less written out and planned and more focused on the roleplay-aspect, both Season 1 and Season 2 somehow stumbled into recreating the Three-Act-Structure pretty well (S2 had its problem, but on the whole, it was still generally discernible).

I’m not here to discuss why narrative conventions and tools of literary analysis are applicable to something as seemingly idiosyncratic as the Dream SMP, I will do that in a future video. For the purposes of this video, we will simply have to take it at face value that these tools are applicable.

Season 1, which was probably the most consistently and competently written out of the three seasons thus far, has a very clear major tension/conflict: Who gets to steer the fate of L’Manburg, whether that be through stewardship or dissolution. It ties deeply into the personal conflict of our protagonist Wilbur as well as the external threat as represented by our villain JSchlatt, the best character in the story.

And not just that, basically every character whether that be Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Dream or Technoblade is invested in seeing this major tension resolved.

All this is achieved through a wonderful inciting incident and turning point. The inciting incident, the personal conflict for our protagonists, is Wilbur calling a presidential election. He wants to solidify power; his personal conflict being gaining full control over L’Manburg – I will talk about it more in my Wilbur-video.

This leads to the Turning Point, which in this case is a very natural cause and effect: Wilbur loses the election his sense of self shattered and JSchlatt, best character, takes over L’Manburg declares himself Emperor and exiles Tommy and Wilbur. The protagonists are forced out of their Ordinary World and the dynamic of the server is changed forever. The Main Tension or Major Conflict has been fully established.

This has server-wide consequences that every character is impacted by. All the many personal conflict are now framed by this all-encompassing major conflict. Thus, everything feels like it’s building up towards the same climax. Whether that be Fundy’s personal conflict as a deep-undercover spy, Niki’s conflict as the resistance in Manburg, Quackity’s struggle for power under Schlatt or the threat of Schlatt trying to expand Manberg into Dream SMP territory.

This even applies to the most disconnected conflict in Act II: The War between Sapnap and Tommy. Because even here, Sapnap’s stated goal is to gather enough power to take over Manberg. Now, that the power dynamic has shifted once it has signalled to other antagonists that the power dynamic can shift once more. The Balance of the Ordinary World is disrupted.

And from the Pogtopia-side, this conflict serves as a great way to not only build up their team, but also as a mini-version of their major conflict. If they cannot defeat Sapnap, what chance do they stand against Big Bad Emperor Schlatt.

Season 2, in spite of all the problems that it has, also managed to pull off the inciting incident and turning point rather well. The Inciting Incident here being Tommy burning down George’s house – his intent being to gain some leverage to win his discs back – which then again lead very gracefully into the Turning Point: Tommy being exiled from L’Manburg.

Tommy’s personal conflict – regaining his discs – was folded into the major conflict: Breaking Dream’s grip over the SMP (and in effect creating a new power dynamic on the server).

Tommy’s exile led to Tubbo being pushed by Quackity to institute the Butcher Army – an antagonistic force intent on making L’Manberg the strongest nation on the server; in effect dethroning Dream. This would of course lead to Hog Hunt and Technoblade’s involvement; ultimately bringing a lot of momentum into the narrative.

Now, Season 2 doesn’t pull this off as graciously as Season 1: You will have noticed that both the Inciting Incident as well as the Turning Point are pretty exclusively focused on Tommy which leads to the major conflict revolving mostly around Tommy and the characters in his orbit – which is not ideal when dealing with an ever-expanding ensemble cast.

While Season 1’s Inciting Incident and Turning Point also had Wilbur as their centre point, they were open enough to allow for other characters such as Quackity, Sapnap and most crucially Schlatt to naturally integrate themselves into the narrative.

What also doesn’t help is that the Rising Action up until the Midpoint is almost exclusively focused on Tommy as I discussed in my Philza-video. There is dramatic and narrative momentum, but it comes at the expense of basically every other character or storyline. The Butcher Army and New L’Manburg are painfully underexplored.

But still, despite its flaws, Season 2 managed to get the ball rolling. So where did Season 3 go wrong?

The main problem that Season 3 has is that it presented us with a large number of potential inciting incidents, but no concrete turning point. We have a lot of personal conflicts, but are as of yet missing the big major tension or conflict that ties it all together; that gives the framework in which the personal conflicts of the characters can intersect and resolve.

I think just to showcase how scattershot Season 3’s storytelling is right now; I’ll have to list all the big plot points of the season as they happened:

1.    Tommy meets with the Egg and shows an immunity to it. The Egg orders the Eggpire to kill Tommy in order to proceed with their plan

2.    The prison gets into lockdown mode, while Tommy is visiting Dream

3.    Tommy gets killed by Dream

4.    Tommy gets resurrected by Dream

5.    Technoblade and Ranboo come into contact with the Egg

6.    Quackity comes into contact with the Egg

7.    The Syndicate meets up and checks out Snowchester

8.    Tubbo loses a nuke

9.    The Red Banquet

10.  Tommy breaks into the prison

11.  Wilbur gets resurrected

Now, quite a number of those could have worked as either inciting incidents or turning point with some narrowing the scope of the narrative more than other. The early points involving Tommy for instance would have pushed him again into the role protagonist akin to how it worked in Season 2, while others like the Syndicate, the Red Banquet or Wilbur’s resurrection would have established the respectively involved groups or characters as the drivers of the major tension.

But none of these avenues are taken. All these conflicts are still insular; their resolutions don’t build to anything.

Tommy’s resurrection – which in my opinion is the first plot point that could have been used as the Turning Point relatively easily – changes the course of the prison and Las Nevadas-storyline, but has little to no impact on the Eggpire, Syndicate or Nuke-storylines.

Similarly, Tubbo losing the nuke could have led to the major tension becoming every faction hunting for the missing nuke in order to fulfil their personal agendas. But again, no dice.

And this just keeps adding up and up. Each new plot point subconsciously leads the viewer to expect that this will be the one to establish a major, unifying tension for the season – and then nothing comes of it. Though the volume of “lore” is still relatively high, the narrative momentum that is needed in order to make the viewer invested in the storyline is diminished with every potential turning point that is ignored in favour of more set-up.

And this structural problem of Season 3 when compared to Seasons 1 and 2 is made the most apparent when looking at …

 Chapter 3: The Eggpire

Oh, my poor boys. Where did it all go wrong?

To give some context: The Eggpire or Crimson-storyline actually started in the middle of Season 2, where they managed the impossible: Establishing a storyline with some narrative momentum and impact outside of the major conflict.

So, how did they do that and do it successfully at that?

The first thing we need to understand is that the Season 2 Eggpire-storyline basically involved no one from the “principal cast”. As such, the story was not chained to the developments that were going on there – such as Exile, Hog Hunt, the Green Festival, etc. – and instead had more freedom to do their own stuff.

The Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 was for the most part self-contained. So much so, that people were viewing it not as a part of the on-going narrative, but rather in the vein of Tales from the SMP: A story that stands alone, the resolution of which would have no impact on the server as a whole.

And, to be fair, they could have gone that route. But the writer(s) behind the Eggpire-storyline decided to be more ambitious.

The Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 follows its own mini-version of the Three-Act-Structure, with BadBoyHalo serving as its protagonist. The big narrative movements coincide and are influenced with dramatic movement in his own personal conflict. He is the Wilbur of this storylines – the once good man (relatively speaking), who falls from Grace.

Now, the thing that makes the Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 quite brilliant is that they ultimately tied the resolution of their tension into the major conflict/tension of the Season 2.

Doomsday saw the Lowest Point of the main storyline of Season 2. With L’Manburg’s destruction and Dream’s future imprisonment, there was a huge power vacuum on the server – a power vacuum that BadBoyHalo, now fully under the control of the Egg, was ready to fill.

The climax of the Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 saw the rise of the Eggpire as they spread the seeds of the Crimson in the L’Manburg-crater, intent on taking over server – thus adding onto the dramatic tension that Doomsday already established, making the Lowest Point feel even more foreboding and successfully linking their erstwhile separate storyline to the main tension of the overall narrative. The villains for Season 3 seemed to be perfectly set-up.

And then Season 3 rolled around and they … bungled it completely.

Though the Eggpire eventually came into contact with almost every active character in Season 3 – such as Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Technoblade and Quackity – they completely failed at driving the major conflict and establishing themselves as the main antagonistic force of the storyline the same way Schlatt and Dream had done in the Seasons prior.

The biggest missed opportunity in that regard is without a doubt the Red Banquet. Now, I talked in the past about how the Red Banquet failed just on its own – at least a specific aspect of it – but now we’ll have to talk about how the Red Banquet fails in the context of Season 3.

Because this was the moment that all the storylines could have been brought together. The Eggpire could have succeeded in their endeavour and established themselves as the most prominent force on the serve. This event would have impacted the server as a whole and thus the entire storyline.

Immediately we would have had a major conflict to drive all other storylines – such as Tommy’s storyline, Snowchester, the Syndicate, Kinoko Kingdom and Las Nevadas – to stop the Eggpire from fully taking over the server. All the character-specific conflicts could have then happened within the framing of this major tension.

Maybe Tubbo and the rest are hunting for the nuke, because they think it’s the only way to stop the Eggpire. Maybe the Eggpire wants to free Dream, because he could be of use for the Crimson. Tommy could get abducted by the Eggpire because he is some sort of chosen one or whatever and the onus would fall on the other characters to save him and stop the villains – so Tommy would become the damsel effectively.

Maybe they decide that the only way to defeat the Eggpire is to bring back Wilbur and that’s how that storyline gets integrated. Maybe the disparate forces disagree on that or other plot-points and there’s some infighting between them.

But still: All conflicts would be unified by this one major tension. The Red Banquet would have been the Turning Point to lead into Act II of Season 3, where all the problems would be viewed with the knowledge that the Eggpire and the Crimson was looming in the distance.

Alas, we did not get that. Instead, the Red Banquet turned out to be just another plot point in a long line of plot points that promises more in the future. Smaller personal conflicts are resolved just within the limited scope of their individual storyline and a major tension is yet to be seen.

When Bad says that there’s just one more Egg-stream planned, I hope he’s either misleading or not being clear enough on what he means. Because if this was it; if the Eggpire-storyline just kinda dies here – too connected to all other storyline to be seen as standalone and yet too separated to be enjoyed in the context of Season 3 as a whole – then it would be a worse writing choice than Doomsday.

 Epilogue: How the Prison Break can bring it all together

To bring it all back to the sentence I opened this video with: I hope Technoblade succeeds in breaking Dream out of prison, because this could finally be the Turning Point that introduces a major tension to the narrative of Season 3.

I hoped that Wilbur’s resurrection would fill that role, but disappointingly that plot point is again relegated to driving the tension of a few chosen storylines instead of providing a major tension for all players involved.

And with five months into Season 3, this Act 1 has gone on for far too long! For comparison, the entire written storyline of Season 1 encompassed 4 months. Season 2 took place in only 2 months. Season 3 has already exceeded both their runtimes and still seems to have yet to truly start.

Whether Technoblade breaks Dream out or Quackity succeeds in trapping Technoblade in Pandora’s Vault – there needs to be a turning point somewhere in sight.

Because my biggest fear is that we’re already past it. That the Eggpire-storyline will just fizzle out and that some other plot point will retroactively reveal itself as the turning point – because that would mean that Season 3 would have a horrifically unfocused, saggy and just generally unengaging second act. And that would be a shame.

Thank you so much for watching. Once again, please feel free to like, comment and subscribe. The links to my social media are all in the description down below. I have a bunch of stuff planned for the future including a very long video on Wilbur as well as two videos that have nothing to do with Dream SMP.

Until then, please be excite.

[mcyt-kalopsia]

Reacting to Your Death

So obviously I didn’t write all of them, but here’s how I interpret the SMP members that are written would react to you dying. 

Warnings: Spoilers for Tommy’s latest stream (Literally like one offhand), obviously death, lots of angst, violence mentions, Schlatt for anyone who doesn’t like him I suppose

Theme: angst, obviously it’s just them and how they deal with your death.

Characters; all the ones with (p) are strictly platonic but the others are up to personal interpretation: Dream, George, Sapnap, Wilbur, Techno, Schlatt, Tubbo (p), Ranboo (p), Tommy (p), Awesamdude, Niki, Karl, Quackity, Minx, Badboyhalo, Phil, DreamXD, Skeppy, Fundy.

DREAM:

- The first few days and nights, all he could do was sit inside all day. 

- No matter who visited to comfort him, he felt a horribly large part of his heart had been ripped away when you died.

- He thought about the day when you finally told him that a dirt shack wouldn’t do for a house, so you two spent days building an actual house.

- After those first few days, he decided he would bring you back. 

- The revive book had worked for Tommy and Wilbur, so it had to work for you. 

- He swore he would bring you back. So he did.

GEORGE:

- He didn’t know how to feel at first. He would get terribly depressed, then angry, and then numb, over and over.

- After a week of this, he then could hardly stop crying. What was he going to do without you? The realisation that he was without you hit him like a truck.

- Whenever he would go out with friends, he made it a habit to pick one of your favourite flowers each day. 

SAPNAP:

- He was crushed. He acted out more and more often out of anger to avoid his sadness and hurt, but when he was alone all he did was try so, so hard not to cry. 

- Bruised and bloodied knuckles were his most worn accessory.

- Often slept in your house, as a way to feel closer to you. He spends a lot more time in your house than his.

- Always remembered your birthday, but every birthday just made him more sad. 

- Eventually he would go to Dream about the revive book too.

WILBUR:

- You had been the only one to see past his flaws in a wary way, and he was heartbroken when you died.

- He often sat on your porch and sang songs he had once sang to you, as well as songs he knew you’d loved, and songs he’d written for you. 

- He was the one to make your grave, and had promised to be kinder.

- Though he loved being alive, he didn’t like that you couldn’t also have a second chance at life as well and felt it unfair.

- Probably resorted to a little bit of violence once he got to the anger stage of grieving.

TECHNOBLADE:

- He was always a pretty quiet guy, but when you died he went silent for weeks aside from when he was alone.

- When he was alone, he went into his library. He found all of your favourite books, worn and bent on pages from you reading them over and over, and he would read them aloud. 

- He hoped you could hear him from wherever you were as he read the books you had loved.

- He spent a lot of time awake as he did this, oftentimes getting very invested in what you had loved.

- If he wasn’t reading, usually he was in bed, wondering about how he couldn’t save you. 

SCHLATT:

- Of course, in public he looked composed as he usually was, as if it wasn’t eating him up inside that you were gone.

- “Who was that again?”

- When alone, he falls apart immediately. 

- People assume that when he’s waking up at near to noon it’s because he’s drinking, but it’s really because your death kept him up all night every night.

- He hardly even drank now, because of the secret promise he’d made to you.

- Though you were dead now, he still wanted to keep his promise, just in case.

TUBBO:

- Was the one who made everyone promise to get along when Wilbur made the funeral.

- Was entrusted with the love and care of your stuffed animals or anything from your childhood.

- Has your old childhood photos framed along with his own, so others often stop by to look at the photos to remember you by.

- Probably has your old horse as well, and takes really good care of them.

RANBOO:

- You two had been really close friends before you died. You were such good friends that he didn’t even need his book to remember you were friends, so of course he was absolutely crushed.

- Though he tried his best to stay stable to avoid certain things, he was upset.

- He definitely gave a speech at your funeral.

- He often sits in your room, talking aloud as if you were still with him.

- He would often repeat old jokes you used to tell each other, laughing softly and trying his best to not get too upset.

- If he wasn’t in your room, he was in your old garden tending to your flowers.

TOMMY:

- He’s also more aggressive like Sapnap, except moreso verbally.

- He blames himself heavily for what happened to you, and he mentally beats himself up about it all the time.

- “It was my fault Y/N’s dead, I get it!”

- He’s not much of a cryer.

AWESAMDUDE:

- All of his pain and sadness get put aside with work. He works harder, he makes it so he hardly has time to think about it.

- When he does think about it, he just feels so heavy the rest of the day, like thinking about your death has sucked the rest of the day’s energy from him.

- Sometimes he’s teased for suddenly being so sluggish and unlike himself, but he can’t even muster the energy to explain that he was thinking about you and how he missed you so badly that it hurt him deeply.

- To say the least, he felt like he had believed too much in you having more time. He should have known not to trust in fate.

NIKI:

- She for sure has any other pets you had. She takes extra good care of them.

- There’s a little spot in her garden dedicated to you.

- She had shut down for a good while after your funeral, where she hardly spoke to anyone and often lay in bed all day to try and remember you.

- Although as time went on, she decided you would have hated seeing her in bed all day like that and started doing her normal routines.

KARL:

- He knew he should have seen it coming, but… somehow, he didn’t.

- He felt a little guilty about this thought, and it often kept him from doing any normal tasks.

- He misses the days when one of you felt bad so the other would do everything in their power to make them feel better. 

- Needless to say, he started writing letters to you, even if it was just to keep himself a little busy.

QUACKITY:

- Laughing Through the Pain™

- He spends a lot more time making sure people aren’t worried, by making really bad jokes as usual.

- The only times he cries are when he thinks too much about you, regardless of if he’s alone or not. Sometimes it makes encounters awkward.

- He’s just sobbing one time while in the midst of a conversation with someone and he’s just like “sorry man I was thinking about Y/N” and they are just like “...oh”

MINX:

- Aggressive but make it threatening and nothing more. 

- “If you don’t fucking shut up about Y/N I’ll knock yer teeth in”

- She just wants to be alone sometimes. She just wants to be alone so maybe the pain will stop being so bad.

- Also not much of a cryer unless it’s late at night.

BADBOYHALO:

- “You little muffin… I told you not to get yourself into danger..”

- He loves to talk about you whenever people bring an old interest up.

- “I remember how much Y/N loved these…” He’s staring at the flowers nearby. He’s smiling sadly. 

- Often shares good memories of you with others to help them cope a little.

- He’s sad, but he knows it would do him no good to be so miserable that he can’t do anything. And he knows how much you would scold him if he stopped being himself completely.

PHIL:

- He names a parrot after you, naturally.

- He’s not gone as often now because he likes to stop by your grave and just talk. 

- He collects things that remind him of you and puts them in a special chest marked with your name. Sometimes it’s things you said were cool, other times it’s just things that he associates with you.

- Drinks your favourite teas.

DREAMXD:

- Would absolutely just go “lmao” in the chat and then leave again

- That’s it, that’s him.

SKEPPY:

- No more silly pranks with him :( no more memeing on others…

- It hits him hard

- Like Quackity, he makes a lot of jokes to mask how upset he is.

- Of course, he has Bad, but damn was it still difficult to deal with your passing.

FUNDY:

- :(

- He’s so sad that he doesn’t even want to do anything or go anywhere.

- It feels like his whole world just stopped and that nothing could hurt worse than this, and he doesn’t even want to face this sadness.

- He often goes out into the woods to climb trees like the two of you used to do.

[stumbledownpretendalleyways]

Dream SMP characters and my thoughts on them (as of Feb 4th) as someone who mainly just watches TommyInnit and the rest of the bench trio

(/neg for some characters but i have nothing against any of the streamers)

Update: June 2022

(should update that again but i literally only watch tommy and tubbo and they haven’t done lore in a while)

Update: 15. November 2022

C!Tommy - 🥰🥰🥰

- can do no wrong.

- has suffered a lot.

- deserves a nice father figure and some peace

- FINALLY HAS A HAPPY ENDING

- you thought

- but he died in an heroic way

C!Tubbo - 🥰

- does he still likea da bee?

- best president of l’manburg

- smart for marrying rich

- cool remote base

- i-

- …rip

- actually teared up a bit

C!Wilbur - 🥰

- was dead for most of the time i watched

- manipulator

- shoulda stayed dead

- changed emoji because i feel like he changed for the better

-patching up stuff (tubbo, eret, tommy, techno,..)

- giving C!Tommy his happy ending

- fucking utah

C!Dream - 🔪🩸 HE NEEDA HIS OWN EMOJI W/ PUNZ

- do i even have to?

- manipulator, murderer, gaslighter

- mainly don’t like him because he won’t leave C!Tommy alone

- mf just don’t change

- don’t have no power over C!Tommy anymore

- DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

- oh wait you did ☺️

- no words just. he got what he deserved.

C!Techno - 🤬

- Doomsday

- Literally has no right to meddle in half the stuff he meddles in and than gets pissed at people for being pissed

- streamer funny tho

- not about c!techo… but gotta say. even though i didn’t like c!techno, i think he was a good villain. also loved how much lore he wanted to do.

C!Philza - 🤬

- literally wtf

- not a great father figure

- if tommy gives up material things dream will just kill tubbo to get to him dickhead

C!Ranboo - 🥰

- didn’t like that he stole C!Tommy’s best friend

- made up for it by sticking by C!Tommy through the exile arc

- weird bloke

C!Sapnap - 🤨

- didn’t like him for being on C!Dreams side for so long

- and betraying C!Tommy like 3 times

- redemption arc incoming???

C!Karl - 🥰

- cool for time traveling

- humbled C!Quackity

C!Quackity - 🤬

- great villain

- tortured C!Dream and even though i don’t like C!Dream, torture is a bit much

C!Foolish - 🥰

- is with C!Quackity but i still like him

- hasn’t done anything wrong really

- nice builds

- want him to have the books and power

- don’t know about the whole souls for XD thing

C!Slime - 🥰🥰🥰

- good boy

- RIP

- pls come back

C!Purpled - 🤬

- die in hell

C!Niki - 🤬

- idk but kinda iffy vibes

- streamer incredible though

C!Jack - 🤬

- doesn’t like C!Tommy

- has valid reasons

- but i like C!Tommy

- fucking screwed everything up

- still kinda sad he also ended up dying

C!Punz - 🔪🩸

- ruined my favourite moment almost a year later by revealing he never left C!Dream’s side

- traitor

- no words either

- except

- he just wasn’t making any sense

- just. weird monologues.

- had it coming

C!Fundy - 🤬

- kinda disappeared after L’Manburg right?

- idk

- oh he’s in Las Nevadas right? nvm

- was nice to tommy during exile tho

- RIP

C!Schlatt - 🤬

- piece of shit

- stay in hell

- would be funny if he came back though

C!Tina - 🥰

- has done no wrong

- vegetarian in game

C!Eryn - 🥰

- low-key C!Dream apologist

- but funny

- vegetarian in real life and i respect that

- gave C!Tommy a knife

- cool lore ideas

DreamXD - 🥰

- funny

- should’ve given C!Foolish more for the statue

- cool lore tho

C!George - 🤬

- C!Tommy got exiled for burning his stupid house and now it’s a cat café

- wtf

- not there for most things

- dream lore made me mad even if it was a dream.

C!Connor - 🥰

- con: he’s a capitalist

- but funny

- very funny

C!Eret - 🥰

- low-key redeemed himself

- just chilling in his castle

- COOL MUSEUM

C!Ponk - 🤬

- no clue in what lore he’s been

- but kanye stan so it’s a no

C!Antfrost - 🥰

- con: did the egg thing and killed foosh

- but he’s a cat so i like him

C!BadBoyHalo - 🤬🤬🤬

- DESTROYED PRIME PATH

- TWICE

- helped C!Dream escape

- C!Dream apologist

- path looks shit now

- i was mad about path. still am but it’s alright lmao

- annoys foolish and i can respect that

C!Awesamdude - 🥰

- might’ve killed C!Ranboo and let Ghostbur die but one of the few people who actually sees C!Dream as the threat he is

- unless he’s being gaslit right now

- foolish/dream/sam lore at the summer home made me feel so weird and kinda sorry for him

Ghostbur - 💙💙💙

- RIP u legend

- have some blue

C!Hannah - 🥰

- she deserved the elytra (rip)

- fairy

- pretty

C!Puffy - 🥰

- great dad

- revenged her son

- i think. did she? very confused by egg

C!Skeppy - 🤬

- didn’t keep up with egg lore

- has he been in any other lore?

- bitch for not giving tommy cat

Glatt - 🤬

- is he even a thing?

- if so i don’t like him

Sam Nook - 🥰🥰🥰

- my beloved

- good friend of C!Tommy

- :(

C!Callahan - 🥰

- is he canon?

- good boy either way

C!HBomb - 🤨

- idk

- cat maid?

Boo - 🥰

- great ghost

C!Vikkstar123 - 🥰

- deserved better

- cool guy

C!LazarBeam - 🥰

- same as Vikk

- visited Tommy and gave him a present

C!Boomer - 🥰

- don’t know much about him

- 🍑

- seems alright

C!Aimsey - 🥰

- beef with tubbo was funny

- idk what they do but seem wholesome

C!CPK - 🥰

- idk what he does really

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ MIYA ATSUMU BEING A DAD HEADCANONS ! ❞

✎ . . . all those dad headcanons are making me so SOFT 🥺✨🥺 do you think you could make some for kuroo, akaashi and atsumu as dads if u haven’t done them already??

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ miya atsumu <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ KUROO TETSUROU & KOZUME KENMA VERSION. ] [ IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . hi bubs!! hopefully you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing them at 12 am <3 kuroo's will be uploaded tomorrow along with kenma, while akaashi's the day day after; hope it's alright with you👉👈

MIYA ATSUMU.

➜ atsumu was scared, he really was; he already had his life planned out for him; getting into a good division 1 volleyball team, a good relationship with his brother and a great girlfriend that has supported him though and through ─ especially at volleyball.

➜ but getting you pregnant at the ripe age of 24 was not part of his plans

➜ don't get him wrong, mf loves you ─ like a lot, but atsumu was well, terrified

➜ he really should have wrapped his willy

➜ he wasn't even the best boyfriend, how could he even be a good father ? but nevertheless, he wanted to start a family with you; even if it was unexpected.

➜ he was a perfectionist, it could be seen with how badly he exhausted and beats himself up with his tosses ─ but atsumu would never let him treat his children like they're a mistake

➜ getting through your first pregnancy had a rough start for the journey, atsumu doesn't know  s h i t  about being pregnant

➜ all he knows is HOW you got pregnant um chile😳🔞

➜ but of course, being a loving boyfriend he is, he tried learning the basics as fast as he can just to show his support to you ─ he'd go out every night just to buy something to satisfy your obscure cravings, would try and message your ankles whenever it would get swolen & he even asks for hinata's help because sure enough, bb boy's got a lot of knowledge after taking care of natsu

➜ but of course ─ we're all just humans anyway, every now and then, he'd get doubtful ─ was he even going to be a good dad? will he even be able to support his children even if he has volleyball work to be done?

➜ just like the first person he talked to after finding out that you're pregnant, he once again talked his feelings out to osamu

“ and to think that i thought that i will have a better and happier life than yo ─ ah! ”

“ ─ don't say that as if y/n being pregnant is a burden, are you fucking dumb because i will literally shove this freshly hot onigiri DOWN your pants. ” osamu hits atsumu on the back of his head before continuing.

“ you may not have the best circumstances right now, but i know you'll be a good father. ”

➜ and so he did, he really became a good father. right after your twins ─ aito and akio were born, atsumu would always have a schedule on his day to be with you guys

➜ promising to himself that he would always be apart of his sons' life

➜ he bathes them, he would always create weird depictions of a shark with bubbles on top of aito's hair and a deformed volleyball on akio's

➜ he'd also feed them and they would always fall for the airplane trick ─ though, they actually prefered you feeding them as they are a mama's boys

➜ they got his dad's adoration towards you, so the three would usually fighting for you; but of course if you picked anyone from them, the other two would be upset

“ aito baby of course it's you ” your were guilty, victimized by his glossy puppy eyes as the two other boys puffed out their cheeks, eyebrows furrowed

➜ atsumu & akio : soMEBODY LIED TO HIM SEVERAL TIMES AND TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS FLY, HOT, SEXY AND BEAUTIFUL BUT HE'S NOTHING LIKE THAT, HE'S NOTHING OF THAT SORT😡👊

➜ he loves his sons and all, but he would never let him hand you over to them

➜ he also doesn't take care of their diapers, mama that is all on YOU

➜ and right after your twin boys turned two, he decided he wanted another one

➜ having strong genes, he got you pregnant in an INSTANT ─ but with twin daughters this time 🤪

➜ after bringing nari and natsuki to the world, you bet they got atsumu wrapped around their little chubby fingers

➜ while aito was a sweet, animal loving son that rarely cried when he was a baby, akio was a picky yet bright child ─ a smartass, you would like to say, always finding ways on being a little sly mf

➜ the two resembling a bit more of you yet has their father's hair and eyes

➜ on the other hand with your twin daughters, nari had both inherited his dad's attitude and a bit of her uncle aswell. and with natsuki, she was a very peaceful child as well, prefers you over her dad while nari prefers her dad

➜ the two, taking in more of their dad's appearance but have your hair

➜ atsumu would ALWAYS try and dress up your kids the same style he used to pair with osamu, would either pair by twin, or girl and boy.

➜ reminds him of the 'old days'

➜ sir, you're barely even thirty, sit DOWN

➜ after a few months on giving birth to your daughters, you guys got married with both your daughters as flower girls and your two sons as wing bearers

➜ the afterparty was WILD

➜ hinata running around with akio on his shoulder, osamu having a staring competition with nari because?? why dafuq does uncle look so much like dad and why do i kinda look like him??

➜ sakusa taking a liking towards aito as they LOWKEY TALK SHlT ABOUT HIS FATHER LMAO

➜ natsuki being in your arms because bb girl just loves you a lot and not to say you have favourites but ,,

➜ by the end of the afterparty, nari almost drank her father's wine, akio and aito were dead asleep in their father's arms while natsuki was still side awake wondering wtf happened

➜ the type of father that curses around his kids and would always be the first suspect whenever you hear nari and akio repeat them countless of times

“ fuck ” your head whipped around to scold atsumu for saying such language in front of your kids, but got caught off by nari saying it as well

“ hngg fuck! ” your daughter giggled saying it countless of times as you watched in horror when she made akio do it as well

“ oh my god nari, honey, no ─ ”

“ uhh . . fuck?" akio looked at his baby sister, raising an eyebrow as atsumu was dying of laughter nodding his head as you keep hitting his shoulder

“ yes, fuck ” making them laugh as they thought they really did something

➜ as i said it in my older brother headcanons, atsumu is actually kinda good at baking; while osamu's speciality was at cooking

➜ being a daddy's girl and apprentice, if she wasn't trying to learn volleyball from her dad, nari would always be baking in the kitchen with atsumu ─ fascinated with everything her dad does, nodding intently at everything he says as they bith wear matching aprons that say “bad bitches bake”

➜ they make the BEST GOODS Y'ALL, their chocolate cookies were impeccable along with their brownies

➜ the four kids would usually play volleyball with their dad whenever he wasn't busy, atsumu would teach them all how to do an arm breaking serve to akio and nari since they both wanted to be an ace, setting to natsuki and receiving with aito since he stated he wanted to be a libero because their uniforms hit different LMAOO

➜ of course they're not the same words he used though

➜ also if they ever played volleyball, expect to have another kid in the backyard because as osamu said; atsumu's mental age drops down to 5 years old while on the court

➜ NGL HE'D GET COMPETITIVE WITH NATSUKI BECAUSE YOU KNOW, SETTER TINGZ✨😍

➜ and he knew damn well natsuki just wanted to gain your attention and praises

➜ atsumu is the type of father that would be so proud if one of his children ever memorizes one of niki minaj's rap

➜ like imagine walking into your husband, trying to teach his kids one of the lines from STARSHIPS by niki??? LMAOO

➜ HE'D BEAT BOX ALONG WITH THEM

➜ as they grew up, their bond has never been more stronger, weekly volleyball practices with their dad & occasionally with his team, while you also sometimes joined in

➜ school was natsuki and aito's top priority though while to nari and akio was volleyball

➜ sometimes nari and natsuki really present their dad whenever they get too hard on themselves, either on studying, or volleyball

➜ also going to their father's games & probably half of the time skip school?? HAPPENS MORE THAN YOU THINK SHHJKTSA

➜ anyways, overall, even if your first pregnancy was a total shock to both you and atsumu ─ unexpected and all, but you guys wouldn't want anything else from the world, as you guys believed it all happened for a reason and your beliefs did not falter when you guys saw how everything just falls right back onto the right places in the end

[bonesandthebees]

Anyway, Glass chapter 24 thoughts! You know what I like about it? Actions have consequences. Past events have impact on the characters. Both Wilbur and Tommy have extra trauma after getting chased by the police and it shows.

Wilbur’s trauma shows in so many ways. Both the chase he would have been so anxious about the meeting and why he needs to be there. Now though, now that’s overshadowed by just having to go outside again. He hasn’t been outside or even to Quackity’s bar because last time bad things happened. It’s such a real trauma response, especially when you have anxiety. You just don’t want to do anything that let to it again even if it happening again is very unlikely.

The thing is, it has to happen in order for him to heal from it. And having Phil and Techno there and a revel ant reason to go out, is probably the best way to do it. Otherwise he’s going to stay afraid and holed up down in Death’s domain. But at the same time, it continuous to be a risk. That’s been a point the entire time, going out is always going to be dangerous, which is why they need to overthrow the government, to make it less dangerous for the Deathlings to just be alive.

Also, I read Wilbur’s outfit description and I was like “did Tommy put him in full yellow because he knows it’s Wilbur’s favourite colour since the sweater and wants to give him some comfort?” But Wilbur picked the pants himself. Still, Tommy is very much the reason Wilbur has so much yellow clothes to begin with and I’m choosing to believe he did choose that jacket for him because it’s yellow.

[Tommy frowned. “It’s called fucking fashion, Wilbur. Look it up.”] And with what phone would he be doing that? Anyway, I am weak for how fast Wilbur goes from the Pythia to Wilbur after Tommy walks in. The kid just brings out the person in him. He feels comfortable being Wilbur around him.

[The Pythia blinked. “‘It’s called fashion, Wilbur,’”] It’s so interesting seeing the narration switch back to the Pythia as he goes to say his own name. Also, I’m pretty sure this is only the second time in the entire fic where Wilbur says his own name. Because Tommy figure it out by himself and usually Wilbur says ‘that name’. The only other time he said is name was when telling Niki and the contrast between how he threw it out back then and how casually he says it now is genuinely healing my soul.

Also, his ass goes straight from the Pythia when saying his name back to pronouns and then back to Wilbur the next time Tommy uses his name, which just so happens to be the next thing Tommy says.

(1/?)

-🌲

YEAHHH actions have consequences the things tommy and wilbur have done and gone through are coming back to haunt them

wilbur went outside and the worst case scenario almost happened. in a way it DID happen and it was only made better by the fact that he and tommy made it back to the temple alive. but tommy is doomed now and that's almost worse. he's terrified of that happening again because now he knows just how dangerous going outside can be. but like you said, they have to do this if it's ever going to be safe for them to go outside. they have to take this risk to minimize it in the future

oh yeah tommy definitely chose the jacket bc it's yellow but he really didn't think wilbur was gonna choose matching yellow pants lmao

the main reason wilbur didn't think much about saying his own name there was because he was repeating what tommy had said. but even that's notable in itself bc you can tell he's getting more comfortable with it! saying his name on his own accord is still a big deal for him, but he didn't even think to say it to mock tommy. ah the power of brotherly bickering.

[buildarocketboys]

8 and 12 for the autism asks?

Woops, sorry anon, you gave me the opportunity to infodump about autistic!Nathan and I'm afraid I took it lol

8. If you have any, what are your special interests?

Honestly at the moment it's probably mostly just Heroes (and specifically Nathan and Peter Petrelli lol). Like I usually say cooking/baking but somewhere in the past few months that's kind of faded out a bit and I don't love doing as much as I did, which is a shame. Apart from that I've kind of been having fairly short-lived hyperfixations (I'm currently watching season 4 of Glee after stopping at s3 last year, which was probably the wisest place to end but never mind).

12. Do you headcanon any characters as autistic? If you want, tell us why you headcanon them as autistic.

Aha...see my previous post. But I'm gonna give a rundown on why I headcanon Nathan as autistic, because I think it's a headcanon with a lot of evidence:

- Fake smile/exaggerated facial expressions

- makes weird/awkward comments/jokes (gifset)

- Stims (even though he masks a lot) (gifset)

- Scripting (gifset) - also his career/s as lawyer/politician are ones that involve a lot of talking/interacting with people but a. They're things that you can probably script/practice a lot of, go over every scenario etc and b. Nathan sucks as a politician lol. Like he can deliver a speech OK, but he was gonna lose (and knows he's going to lose) when he's running for Congress which is why Linderman has to kidnap Micah to fix the vote and also he literally only becomes Senator in s3 bc the Governor sees him having a mental breakdown on TV and obviously thinks 'this guy will be so easy to manipulate'

- Echolalia (there are several examples of Nathan repeating back something someone's already said to him, I think my favourite is in the s1 finale when Claire tells him that "the future isn't written in stone" and he repeats that back to her later when he flies in to have his Big Damn Moment

- Tripping over his words/words running into each other (gifset)

- Black and white thinking ie in Haiti when he's like ‘If I don’t save the world I’m basically evil’

- on the other hand, difficulty knowing what the right thing to do is, relying on other people to tell him - His whole ‘what is right/why can’t I tell the difference speech’/asking Peter what he should do

- in .07% - difficulty comprehending/empathising with a large amount of people/finds empathy difficult for people he doesn’t know/care about - I have a fairly developed headcanon that's pretty much canon about Nathan's Big Damn Moment saving Peter/New York really being entirely bc of Peter and his empathy for him (and knowing/being told by Claire how much it'll kill him to be responsible for the deaths of millions of people, since Peter has a hyperempathetic streak bigger than he is) - but yeah, that. (Actually I might make a post about this bc there's a fair amount of detail in it that's basically what I take from what we're actually given in canon and I think it would make a nice piece of meta. I talk about it with Anni all the time.

- despite not exactly being the most honest/moral person, Nathan's also really not that good at lying, especially when he has to do so spontaneously/improvise. Family brunch is probably the best example of this

- the people that Nathan most vibes with (as in, makes a real connection with that isn't shallow and based on him masking and trying so hard to fit in) in the show are characters that are either neurodivergent/mentally ill in canon or who I headcanon as neurodivergent/autistic: Nathan+Hiro (who I also headcanon as autistic), Nathan+Matt [who's canonically dyslexic], Nathan+Niki [DID(/multipersonality disorder lol, which is obviously poorly handled by the show but still, the mentally ill/ND vibes)], Nathan+Peter obvs. Claire's probably the only one who doesn't fit this but a. They don't vibe immediately, Claire takes a while to actually understand him and b. Claire's best friend is Zach and her S4 gf is Gretchen. Both of whom have incredibly autistic vibes. Claire is basically the ND equivalent of a fag hag (in the nicest possible way - I love her)

- kind of a sad/horrible one, but when Arthur says ‘I made you’ to Nathan in s3 it really gives me Lovaas being like with an autistic person you have to build the person from the ground up gross dehumanising vibes. Arthur is the worst lol

- Is actually extremely emotional (and a lot of his actions are extremely emotionally motivated - for better and for worse) e.g. Angela talking about him being ‘overly theatrical wrt Kelly’s death/calling him a sap, and him not even being able to look at the photo Meredith shows him of Claire (that whole scene really shows how hard he tries to mask his emotionality to his own detriment; he can barely look at the photo bc it's so much, and then he doesn't get Meredith to call Claire back - even though he basically came down to Texas to meet her - because he doesn't know how to handle his emotions about finally meeting the daughter he thought was dead without losing it)

- Obsessiveness (the hundreds of photos of Peter thing+him literally calling himself obsessive)

- Mostly blank/unemotional facial expression and relatively monotone voice even when talking about/in extremely emotional situations (e.g. I’m not leaving you Peter). His voice *does* show emotion sometimes but only in really intense situations and even then rarely (I think this is partly masking, partly his natural expression)

- Doesn’t like touch (apart from if it's Peter/someone else he feels safe with) especially when emotional (gifset) also his and Claire's hug in s1 is extremely awkward lol

- Burnout/losing control of his life (s2 and also kind of s3 - Nathan's a mess). Basically all the mentally ill Nathan stuff - side effects of autistic burnout/masking for basically all his life

[being-worthy]

Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei  ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period. 

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one.