#down the rabbithole you go!
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the tempest cgs never get old do they <-filled with love
NO THEY DO NOT THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <333333333 WAUGH <33333333 SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD Just. Come on they made Eichi look at Wataru Like That and they just expect me to be fine. Then they write the lyrics of their new solos Like That and just expect me to be fine.
#The tempest CGs were my first wataei contact actually#I was freshly into enstars and I chose fine as my inital because I thought Wataru was pretty and then I pulled the Eichi 5* instantly#I was destined to be a fineP frfr#but I got curious about their other 5* cards and then I did some snooping and do you know what it feels like when you sniff blood#but you do not know which kind#My favourite character at that time was still Niki because I thought he looked like a very nice and fun character#and then I took one look at the Tempest cards and fundamentally changed as a person#I can't deescribe it I don't remember it a lot my memory is really bad but you see where it led me#I always liked Eichi too but back then I thought Niki was just cuter and then BOOM#and we all see how that ended#I genuinely think some deity had their hands in there because it all just lines up too perfectly#I will never not laugh about that Imagine chosing a unit because you think that one guy is very appealing and interesting and then.#down the rabbithole you go!#surreal honestly Thank you Tempest for changing my life <3
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bene gesserit costuming + occult and religious imagery
#brought to you by me going down the 'I wonder if anyone has made a dune inspired tarot deck yet' rabbithole#dune#dune part two#irulan corrino#margot fenring#duneedit#the absolute joke of owning almost a dozen tarot decks and still going uhhhh when trying to figure out which cards to put up there#besides the classic rider-waite-smith#in my defense I didn't want them to be modern-looking otherwise I would've chucked the linestrider queen of swords in there#anyhow
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Just heard about the claim that Hans Christian Andersen used to have a note reading „I’m not dead“ or such attached to his nightshirt whenever he went to bed in a weird history podcast and had to pause to give a good long GODDAMMIT PTERRY.
#discworld#gnu terry pratchett#a man’s not dead while his name's still BEING YELLED#just when you think you spotted all the references#Hans Christian Andersen#HC Andersen#there’s a lot more sources in Danish#literally a medical journal goes 'as everyone knows…'#but it’s too late in the evening for me to go down this rabbithole
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devoured midnight mass and now i can't stop thinking about a Price-Priest au for some reason, but like:
he's a good leader. a pillar. but you keep making him question his faith, his morality. he clenches the rosary so tight in his fist whenever you come into the confessional that it leaves permanent marks on his palms. fresh wounds on his back from self-flagellation. hides in the confessional for days, muttering miserere to himself, acts of contrition. he's fully convinced you were put on this earth to tempt him. lead him into damnation.
you become his ultimate Test. he has to save you. has to. but you keep driving him mad until he breaks. bends you over the pulpit and fucks you in a house of god, consumed by his own downfall. all wicked, bastardised religion. the grievous weight of lust crushing him until he's broken in your hands. now a wrecked, wretched man in search of absolution that he decides can only be given to him by you. thinking along the lines of corrupted salvation. that slow crawl to unhinged, obsessive devotion. madness, honestly.
he's a zealot; you're the sanctuary that will save him. no matter what. after all, god made you just for him.
(except that god has fangs and eats flesh.)
#and i think it would be so so funny if you were just Some Dude#lmao like just a Regular Person Going to Church and all of a sudden#you have Price clawing his eyes out of his head so he isnt tempted to look at you lustfully anymore#john price x reader#i kinda like this idea#but I'm also so deep down this polluted faith rabbithole that i can no longer see the light of day any longer
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@rosie-tyler
i gotta say — my rewatch of poto (2004) involved massive amounts of cage references in a villain’s tragic backstory flashbacks with a reluctant enabler of bad behavior, a best friend who really wishes you wouldn’t trust that evil guy, the color red as symbolism for bloodshed being spilt, the color white as symbolism for purity, and… mirror breaking motifs? oh yeah, and a swordfight in blue lighting between the main villain and the protagonist’s old connection from their younger days, who will fight for their honor or whatever.
#karate kid iii#phantom of the opera#cobra kai#im not joking anymore like these parallels are SO. BLATANT. VISUALLY SPEAKING.#made a joke with my pals: replace MUSIC with KARATE in this movie and everything makes sense#operahouse with DOJO… teacher with SENSEI…#wishing you were somehow here again with miyagi and daniel ☹️#the ending of we have all blind with chozen and daniel… :-(#i also stand by madame giry as kreese like that’s just. extremely funny to me#bc kreese really does go. yeah he might be killing people and taking names but… but the cage happened!#he’s a genius! an architect!#AH. THE ENNIS HOUSE IS PRACTICALLY HIS LABRYINTH.#i can go down this poto rabbithole ALL. NIGHT.
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daffodil + chan
a song
the prompt: daffodil (a god bows before a mortal)
read it on ao3
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"You have no power over me."
running through his hands like water, and suddenly the earth is not his to control. The skies do not turn with the twist of his head, lightning does not fork in the air when his eyes, dark as night and yet still lit by some unearthly light, fall upon you, his mouth wide as if to gasp for a breath he cannot take-
And yet, still, it shivers down your spine; the magic that draws you here even as you rip it apart, the prize of your conquest to rip the world into two.
"Take it back," he hisses through his teeth, the ground trembling with every syllable that slides down his tongue. You watch his mouth as it forms the words, the flash of teeth behind thin lips reminding you of the way that the swordsman you'd fought through to get here had smiled at you - the last of his seven challenges, the last of his demons, or angels, or citizens of the sprawling, damned city he claimed as his kingdom.
And here you stood, at the pinnacle of the eighth, and stared him in the eye without cringing away because now you knew the truth. Now you knew that what he whispered in the dark was a lie and what you saw with your eyes wasn't always true, and though he may be a god and a king amongst beings that you could never hope to rival, a god can only hold as much power as you give him. A god can only claim dominion over a beast that bowed to his dogma.
You see now that you are no beast. You are no believer in any lie he utters to the darkness.
"Take it back," he says again, the note of his voice changing. He pleads, his brow furrowing and his shoulders curling in as if waiting for the final blow. "Take it back now, before it's too late."
"I can't," you tell him, and you watch him fall to his knees, and you know that it's wrong and your heart pounds in your chest and it
like the ground does at the impact of his knees, crumbling into the pieces it was in when you first took his hand, alone on the side of the road with only one thing to call your own. And what was that thing, the little warmth you'd held to your chest in the dark and the cold? What had you traded away for the comfort of the house that crumbled around you now? Why had you destroyed him to get it back, where was it now, why did it not appear within his hands at this, the hour of his reckoning?
"Please," he spits into the cold ground, the dirt and the leaves and the curl of ivy that grows up the walls around you, old and ancient and not yet sprouted from its roots all at the same time. His hands curl in the dirt like he can reach down and pull the earth to him, like he can stop the wane of his power if he just tries to hold on a little bit tighter. "I know what you want, and I don't have it. I can't lose-"
Broken, fragile thing. Small god of limited earth, crouched at your feet like he might worship you instead. You'd thought him all-powerful once, and then you'd thought him severe and his servants and beasts and playthings petty, and then you'd thought him
because he'd smiled at you in the garden that bloomed from his own hands when you expressed your desire for a flower to tuck in the braid of your dark hair, and his hand had been soft in yours, and when he looked out across his kingdom and the clamouring faces of the people he'd brought to live there, he'd looked at them the same way that he'd looked at you.
Beneath your foot, the ground cracks, fracturing outwards like a spiderweb. It's your heart, you realise morosely, sinking from your chest and into the depths of the earth, disappearing with whatever he'd taken from you; and it was a wretched thing and it had betrayed you a hundred times over, but you still mourn at the loss of it and all the dreams it had carried with it. It blooms in your flowers in the corners of the room, embeds itself into the land and sings along with the song of his power, a thing you can hear but cannot touch, a beast once born that now does not belong to you.
"I'm sorry," he says, his breath like mist in the cold air, and even without your heart, you can't bear to see him so cold.
Your hands reach for him without permission, your body kneeling in the dirt before you can stand your feet firm upon the earth and refuse to move. He flinches away, but your fingers are soft upon his chin and the curve of his jaw, gentle when they brush the soft dip of his neck. "I only wanted to know what it was," you tell him with a voice that cannot hold itself steady. "I thought if you loved me, you would give it back." It's the only voice you have - you are not like him, or like Felix, speaking with many tongues. You don't have any power of your own.
"It's because I love you that I can't give it back." His voice is hoarse, every word a knife that he swallows without ever once flinching. "It's because I love you that I couldn't tell you what it was."
"But didn't I deserve to know?" you question. "Doesn't my life belong to me?"
Finally, his eyes rise, looking up at you with a fire that belies the cold of his skin. "Of course it does," he gasps, and his hand reaches up, dirt-stained fingers dragging at your cheek. "That's why I gave it to you, and I never asked for anything else."
"But you wouldn't give back what you took in the first place."
The sudden violence of his voice crumbles the walls and fractures the sky, the clouds blooming te dark colours of a bruise. The absence of his hand on your cheek stings in the cold; his face turns away, screwed up in regret and a pain he won't allow you to feel. You lurch forward before he can disappear, drawing him into your arms; stiff shoulders, spine of beaten steel, slow beat of a heart you once held in your hands.
He'd stood so tall and unmoving in the morning light, when you'd first walked down this path, and now in the dark of the setting sun and the ending of the earth, his weight slumps into your grasp, his resolve melting into the warmth of your body. "I didn't want you to suffer again," he says to the soft cotton of your shirt and the curve of your collarbone, his breath a whisper against your skin. "I couldn't watch that, when you asked me to make sure it would never happen again."
Surprise comes in the pause of your breath and the still of your arms, the jump of a heart you're not sure you still possess. "I asked you to make me forget?" you question the world behind his back, and into your neck, he sighs.
"You couldn't forget," he murmurs. "She was dead before I found you, and when I took her from your arms - you couldn't forget. There was nothing I could do to fix what had been broken. And then you begged me to let you forget, so I remembered her for you." He pauses, his throat hitching like he's swallowing something down. A sob maybe, or the tears he will never let fall. "I can't give her back though. She's not here anymore."
You push him upright, your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face. Brushing away the hair that falls in his eyes, wiping at the blood that drips from the cut on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, because the answer is incomprehensible. "Why did you let me go this far?"
"Because I was scared," he admits, and his teeth clench and his spine stiffens against the urge to hide away from you again. "Because I'm a wretched, evil, stupid thing who thinks they can-"
His words die in your throat; vile, wretched things that you store away to spit out later, into the ground where they belong. He is none of that; he is soft, and hesitant, until your fingers find the sharp curve of his hip and the lines of his back, dragging him closer and his lips open like there is nothing in the world to devour but you and
#sorry about the images everyone but tumblr wouldn't let me keep my aesthetic#and i refuse to bow to any shitty website#how tf do you align text on here#anyway#stray kids#bang chan#stray kids chan#bang chan x reader#stray kids x you#y/n without the y/n#lee felix#is mentioned#lee know is also in here if you can spot him#roo writes#the fight i had to a) finish this and b) post it#anyway 7k written for the last three days#a lil treat for#well for me because keeps refused to write me a fic and i got desperate#but for the love of god please someone read this please someone talk to me#i feel like i really cooked with this#one hour of my life spent going down a rabbithole#oh what else was i going to say#vaguely inspired by labyrinth#we went way off the labyrinth rails but#it's there#alright shit alright i'm gonna post it lets go i'm nervous
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watched the 2004 punisher movie yesterday with pixie and honestly i had fun 👍 some stuff was good some stuff was eh some completely irrelevant stuff made me mildly annoyed. but most of all it was funny and they had frank hang around with his tits out for multiple scenes so i mean how could i not have a great time tbh
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#its also the movie that has the frame that i found like. on a wiki or something? and that pushed me down the punisher rabbithole#maybe im insane but i REALLY liked how frank looked in that movie. lost. confused. profoundly sad. bare chest glistening with sweat#whats not to like honestly. i also felt incredibly bad for thinking this the entire movie because im actually going. a little insane#like lately i just feel generally bad for liking frank in that way at all. as in both romantic and sexual. just. im sorry frank really#so the entire movie id hide my face in my hands every couple of minutes going 'oh god hes so hot im so sorry hes so hot im sorry'#what the fuck is this kid doing#anyway the thing i also liked on a more serious note was that the death of maria and his son was dragged out#because it like. like it kept going. and going. and with every second we both just felt this sense of like. dread and helplessness yk#like you KNOW theyre going to die anyway. and yet you watch them struggle and. its such a specific emotion#my least favorite horror story from a book i had invoked the same emotion in me but worse#and it was called sth like 'the torture of hope' so like. thats the best description i can give#also the thing that annoyed me for no reason was joan being blonde. why is she BLONDEEEEE#SHE JUST LOOKS LIKE MARIA LIGHT THIS IS SO. STUPID#also poor third neighbour but i assume in this movie he had the same role as in the comic (none) because its the 2004 one#i liked daves vibe. seemed like the type of guy my friend karol would have us smoke weed with on her birthday#and also he was just like me fr
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BRUCE MCLAREN sitting beside the track after retiring from the 1964 UNITED STATES GRAND PRIX
#supermodel mode here#and here we bruce mclaren modelling for us the new dunlop overalls#also looking up the wiki pages of these grand prix makes you go down some strange rabbitholes#like this race they did 110 LAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or roughly 407.110 km or 252.966 miles !!!#is that crazy ???#bruce mclaren#classic f1#f1#formula 1#1960s
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So long my luckless Romance my back is turned on you I Should have known you bring me heartache.
Almost lovers always do
#and when you left you kissed my lips#Ahhhhhhh#good omens#good omens 2#go2#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale x crowley#ineffable husbands#michael sheen#david tennant#almost lovers#this song came up in my playlist when i was nearly over the.#them#down the rabbithole I go again#neil gaiman
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(alt title) bucky: i think im in love dum dum: that whole ass dyke would eat you alive, barnes bucky, dreamily: and i love her for that. solidarity, sister
Rating: T Word count: 2,574 Tags: Captain America: The First Avenger, World War II, Humour (somehow, despite the previous tag), Howling Commandos, A Very Fictional Marlene Dietrich, Historically Questionable Depictions of Military Tents Excerpt:
"I dunno – something a bit boyish about her, Buck," Dugan muses. Bucky gawks, lowering the shaving brush, and he really can’t decide what’s more ridiculous: the disproportionately outraged expression Bucky’s sporting or the lather still covering half of his face, seemingly forgotten and melting down his neck with alarming rapidity. “Boyish? Get outta here.” Oh, Steve thinks with a familiar level of exasperated fondness, here we go.
*leaving this at tumblr's doorstep like it's my beloved first born child I just don't know how to deal with* how the fuck do y'all post these all the time when it's so stressful.
Anyway! First time posting on AO3, so here's a ficlet about the Howlies and Marlene Dietrich because I kept banging my head against a wall trying to figure out the timeline of the much, much larger fic this is supposed to be a part of, lol.
#I fell down the rabbithole of researching WW2 staff and officer tents for an hour. again. needless to say that it was not necessary#steve rogers#bucky barnes#howling commandos#ca: tfa#captain america: the first avenger#fanfic#my fic#how do you TAG these#that's not a rhetorical question if somebody has any fucking pointers I have no clue what I'm doing here#anyway. gonna go jump into a very deep hole now goodnight
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To me, this is poetry
#lets go down the rabbithole..... together 🧑🤝🧑#i am down bad for this type of attention#i am so grateful you are in my life#how are they so perfectly wonderful#🥰🥰🥰#joyposting
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george lucas handed an overwritten mess in and then the fandom + otherwise involved creators in the extended universe and other supplemental media have spent the last decades ritualistically dissecting it and reworking it’s constituent parts into some of the most fascinating worldbuilding you can get. and the average person has no knowledge of this and just watched disney completely fumble it within an hour and a half of their first title crawl in The Force Awakens and proceed to completely fall apart within the next 3 hours . and that’s just what star wars is to them
#star wars#and maybe the mandalorian. din djarin really out here carrying the entire star wars reputation as well as his son#original trilogy girlie will never not be mad disney inevitably fucked up BOTH giving the OG trio OR finn poe and ray a satisfying ending#and is instead now going down the prequel rabbithole . this is what youve done to me disney#star wars/episode 4 a new hope is still my end all be all fave (specifically despecialized) BUT i will admit . the clone wars era is growin#on me. i’m down for the tragedy of your ancestral life ways being eroded by the need to throw your peacemakers and children on thefrontline#to prevent the deaths of an army you never wanted to be responsible for#that one story that had the whole ‘if people actually want to leave the republic *why aren’t they the ones fighting*’ revelation. oogh.#sheev you bastard you divised the perfect plan to make a bunch of hypercompassionate mystics who are preternaturally#disposed to feel empathy for people be unable to refuse fighting on the frontlines of a war bc it’s the only way to even begin to protect#both their army of innocents (acceleratedly aged clones) AND the public at large#I KEEP GOING ON TANGENTS IN THE TAGS SORRY. MANY EMOTIONS TONIGHT!!!!!!!#<- old tags from nov 28 lol#old starred war posts im excavating from the drafts :]#text✨#posts from a galaxy far far away
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just wanna chime in with, god you GOTTA watch the dirties, it’s genuinely insane how good it is - a truly AIRTIGHT found footage film
do NOT even worry about it my friend i am sooooo far ahead of you on this front – i had the archive.org file up on my laptop when you sent this ask, and now 2 days later i've watched it twice... and STILL i cannot get that cliff scene fight out of my head! movie that makes you go what in all this is real we are!!!
#just realised as i was typing that that quote is from destiel well when they're right they're right#anyway i have fallen headfirst down the zapruder films rabbithole these last few weeks & i SQUARELY blame you <3#reeled in by the funny video game music skits#but hooked by the bleedthrough of reality to stories + the genuinely groundbreaking take on 'guerilla filmmaking'#ough augh when the Form Leads Function...........#the dirties#asks#mifhortunach#also crazy gender stuff going on in that movie like i can't even get into it#not even malkovich malkovich scene (CRAZY. to show to your class of high school bullies.)#but when he's watching it back afterwards all quiet + compare when he says it's like watching things happen to a different person on film#AND later when matt's like she's just a dumb girl and owen's like oh you're just jealous i'm talking to another girl........#oops guess i am getting into it 🙃
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I saw a video of a painting of Mary being restored, recently. I'm not, nor have I ever been a religious person, but it got me thinking- Why have I never seen Mother Mary grieve like a mother after the Crucifixion?
I've seen plenty of art of Mary holding Jesus after he'd been taken off the cross. But in those, The Virgin Mary feels so, idk, detached. She looks sad, but she's also accepted it. She is serene in her grief, heavenly and beautiful.
To me, Mother Mary is that. She's a Mother.
She held her baby. Raised him with a husband that loved them. Kissed his wounds and wrapped him in hugs when Christ- he was human, so he had to be a child- had a fall. She taught him about his Father, and the future God had prepared for him.
Did she know? She knew she would be pregnant with God's child, the angel told her she would bear the savior to humanity, but did she know how he would die? Did she know that he would be flogged viciously, his beard pulled out, made to wear a crown of thorns, then forced to carry his execution method over nearly a half a mile? Did her heart not break, hearing her son cry out his dying words, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
And even if she did know, would that have made it hurt any less?
IDK, I'm no religious scholar, I'm not even christian/catholic/whatever. I'm thinking of the Jesus documented in history, and the people in his life. but even if I was religious, I'd feel sad, maybe even a little angry for Mary. That she's not allowed grief, that in art she's not allowed to be anything other than the beautiful, serene, loving Virgin Mary.
(zoom for better quality, tumblr is a dumpster fire. I'm pretty happy with this, i tried using digital acrylics in Rebelle instead of watercolors like I usually do. added with the canvas texture, it makes for a cool look)
#religion#mother mary#jesus christ#OK just because I'm not religious please dont think this is meant as a personal attack#This is more just. my brain going down depressing rabbitholes#cause I did research for this post and made myself sad.#and honestly made me.... lowkey feel more angry toward religion in a weird way?#at least towards the theoretical god for putting his own son through all that#andfor what? his son's blood to wash away humans sins? gods a washing machine and jesus's blood is the detergent?#You're GOD. you can MAKE a better detergent.#IDK have a lot of thoughts on the matter i guess#LITERALLY DONT @ ME THOUGH RELIGIOUS PEOPLE LOOKING TO CONVERT ME/CHANGE MY MIND WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT#Yall didn't want me before I found out i was a disabled gay leftist and you really dont want me now lmao#the artist has spoken#my art
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Venezuelan Gangs in Aurora, Colorado OR: The Importance of Fact-Checking
Like many young people, I find myself scrolling on TikTok a whole lot. So you can imagine my surprise when I started seeing videos like this:
As a Latin American, I'm automatically suspicious of most claims relating to other Latinos, especially when it comes to the classic gangster stereotype. The smug aura of right wingers (and closet right wingers) in the comments is palpable. The "Is this the American dream or the Venezuelan dream?" comment from the first creator's video (Millennial_Rant) certainly didn't help, either. Naturally, I felt inclined to look into the matter to see if any of these whacky claims were accurate.
Please take note of the claim that the Hell's Angels are coming to Aurora to presumably combat these alleged Venezuelan gangsters. Thompson is rolling in his grave, I bet. But first, before we debunk the Hell's Angels bit, we must debunk the main claim. A quick Google search renders many articles on the topics. A CBS article from two days ago (at the time of writing this) provides a more level-headed approach to the situation. As it turns out, the residents of The Edge at Lowry, one of the apartment complexes allegedly besieged by members of the Tren de Agua gang, are more concerned about their neglectful landlord than anything else. Below are two excerpts confirming the idea that this gang really doesn't have the power and reach that users online are alleging (courtesy of CBS's Tori Mason).
The tenants report deplorable conditions in the apartments, i.e. rodents, bedbugs and roaches, and lack of hot water. The below excerpt places the blame where it belongs: on the management company. (Excerpt from Mason's article).
If one CBS article wasn't enough, an article dropped today (9/6) in the Colorado Sun weighs in on the madness. "It 110% involved racism" claims one of writer Jennifer Brown's interviewees, only identified as Jason for his privacy. Blaming Venezuelans for dilapidated, dangerous conditions at these apartment complexes is just a red herring to distract from the real villain of the story: CBZ management. Tenants at the Whispering Pines complex, also owned by CBZ Management, report similar conditions to those at The Edge. Peep the excerpt below (courtesy of the Colorado Sun's Jennifer Brown) to see the inflammatory claim made by the company.
CBZ Management seems to think that blaming Latin immigrants (and playing into the "foreigners are criminals" trope) will help detract from their blatant disregard for their tenants. Ironically though, the mayor doesn't seem to agree with CBZ Management (excerpt from Brown's article below).
But what about the Hell's Angels? Aren't they coming to Aurora to enact justice on these imaginary rent-thieving gangsters? Well, no. So queue the footage of Thompson's grave settling, because the Angels are not concerned with such business, as made evident by their statement from two days ago. Below is an excerpt that makes their stance clear: they are not involving themselves in the debacle nor did they ever plan to.
So what's the point? Well the point is, fact check before you post inflammatory statements online! Don't just run with what one guy online says, look up the story and weed out what's true and what's not. Don't get incensed about imaginary bogeymen when the answers to your questions are out there, being answered by journalists who actually look into these stories. Many reputable news sources (from the area of the occurrence, at that!) have done their work to clear up the confusion surrounding these hate-filled rumors. Can one deny that gang activity exists? No, not at all. But in this case, the Tren de Agua gang are mostly likely not the masterminds behind the poor conditions at the many apartment complexes in Aurora. It is especially interesting that this controversy arose as the election season creeps close, but that's a discussion for another the day.
#text#if you're interested in seeing more people wrongfully freak out about latinos simply existing in the same space as them i recommend#checking out the semi-related claims that venezuelan gangs are destroying dallas. it's almost laughable how tiktok users just say things#with zero sources at that#i saw one video claiming venezuelans were overrunning the neighborhood and the user's proof was a clip of a truck blasting dembow#which is ironic seeing as how dembow is a dominican genre not a venezuelan one#also: you can go down these rabbitholes yourself by searching venezuelan gangs in dallas/colorado on tiktok and marvel at the rampant#misinformation being spread on there. it's amusing but also very concerning how little critical thinking skills are valued nowadays
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oh yeah okay that hospital visit was traumatic for sure. okay yeah
#marzi speaks#got caught in a youtube shorts rabbithole (one of my vices </3)#and they like giving me snippets from medical dramas#and i saw one where a man accidentally shot himself in the heart with a nail gun#and he didn’t say ‘i love you’ back to his daughter before getting in the ambulance#and then he started coding and they had to do chest compressions or whatever#and normally i can handle medical dramas no problem. they don’t bug me#but smth about that (the brush with mortality and the idea of having final regrets like that)#just COMPLETELY tripped my brain up. and i had to take a second to calm myself down#i don’t like having triggers. i don’t like that i won’t be able to predict them yet#i’m for sure starting therapy again when i head back to college. i’m gonna Need It#i’m still a little frazzled. it was. i’m. i need to go to sleep
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