#My chickens are blessings from God <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pinestripe37]

Fifi:

*finds butterfly pillow and sits with it*

Bitey:

*also finds that same butterfly pillow and sits with it*

My little girls are so cute.. 🥺

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 4 [PART 2]

I wonder how long he's been standing there. Did he come an hour early? 20 minutes early? Just standing there, doing nothing...

Dios mio... la creatura!

Something very weird happened with the Eni queen/leader. In s2, her cape and hands were like this because she was sitting, in this season — it's just part of her design. Did nobody check this stuff? Am I going insane thinking this is an error? Did she look bad when her cape was down? What the fuck is happening?

Once again, something very silly is happening with Sufokia, if they have an empress and a king. My headcanon to fix it is "the king is a consort-king" or something.

(*sobs in Ankama, or, really, 89% of all media, not understanding that whoever marries the ruler of the nation is a [insert title]-consort, and does not have as much political power or the right of succession* *Hysterically convulses in "99% of all Queens were Queen-consorts, and the title itself, by default, usually means a consort. For this reason, female rulers (rare non-consort Queens who came to throne due to lack of male princes) typically named their husbands "Princes" and not "Kings", because the title king always implies a higher degree of power than a queen; therefore, it might be reasonable to assume, that in this fantasy setting, a Ruling Empress's husband might be called a king for this reason* *Foams at mouth because Ankama just forgot they mentioed Sufokia having a king and I'm trying to cope. badly*)

Also since I'm on this tangent already, YES, this means that Sadida rules of throne succession are:

1. extremely easy for outsiders to abuse (say what you will, but "the spouse inherits the throne" is a BADDD rule to combat conquest by foreign nations, there's a reason it was children or blood-relatives of the ruler, besides patriarchy/divine right of kings/whatever — the spouse is an outsider. All it takes is a princess, who is Wonderful at poisoning, being married off to a foreign nation and whoopsie-daisy, their country is now Her country, and therefore her Family's country),

2. it's unrealistic,

3. probably just bad writing for the sake of drama.

If you're curious why I know all this shit.......... I have a blorbo in a different fandom, and his entire thing is that he was married into a royal family and then tortured by his queen wife in a sort of gender-bent Henry VIII arrangement (except he was kept alive against his will and there was no divorce or church splits). God bless that blorbo for making me learn.

These Huppermages were repurposed from the movie concept art, btw.

I find it quite interesting, that Joris has the authority to be present here...

My personal theory/headcanon is that he is their mediator, and they just call him to their meetings so that, instead of yelling at each other and declaring wars, they can talk to him (and therefore, yell only at him and declare no wars).

Ugh, once again, I am not entirely fond of the English subs. First the translation error about the brotherhood of forgotten/tofu, and now they are making Joris say this spring chicken thing...

It doesn't fit his character and reads weird. Just leave it as "I'm not that young", like in the original. It's more fitting for Joris to speak in negative sentences ("I am not young") than in affirmative ones ("I am old") because he is not fond of stating direct facts about himself and his life... besides the fact that he's standing in front of multiple world leaders.

[kicks my legs cutely thinking about the fact that Joris, older than every king and queen in this place, and fully convinced of his excellence and wisdom and heroism, has been forced to bow down to them for his entire life despite hating at 90% of them for their political decision] I love his commitment to being the protagonist of an 18th century Russian novel about being doomed by the narrative.

Also, kinda wild. You'd think that during Ogrest's chaos they'd— actually I think everyone was too dead to hold meetings during that, nvm.

I wonder what they would do, if the maker of the eyes wouldn't reply. Just stand there? Or is this speech more of a formality — something he always says, in the lead-up to the meeting?

(I am once again reminding you, this blog is LITERALLY about overthinking crepinjurgen lore! Ankama gave no shit while writing this. I'm just doing this for fun.)

He's so unimpressed. Probably still trying to gauge what the fuck is going on.

THE LITTLE SMILE— he's trying to suppress it so hard in the first screenshot here. He's probably glad that Yugo seems to be in good spirits about what's happening, even if he himself is still quite worried.

His expression here is a beautiful mix of "PLEASE DON'T FUCK THIS UP" and "it is a canon event, I cannot intervene"

Literally, Joris's expressions at this moment should be analyzed frame by frame. You can feel the desperation. He now understands that there is a high possibility they are fucked. Because his bestie (who is always right) is an impulsive 20-something year old boy who knows nothing about politics or what people can do, and his mom is a god, and the leaders of the world aren't going to like whatever the fuck is going on, and he KNOWS what they might do, and what might happen, and oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck—

"Yugo :) perhaps you shuoild :) um. :) ease them into it. :).... :("

He's trying to keep smiling, so hard. It's crazy.

Joris has lived through the huppermage genocide. He knows people don't need that much of a reason to begin killing. He understands precisely just how fragile the position that Yugo and his people are in. He understands his own place in the pecking order, too — he isn't going to act like Yugo's friend if these people are watching.

And neither Yugo, not any other Eliatrope is able to understand this. There are cruelties in this world that they are fundamentally unable to grasp without having truly been seeped in it before.

Like, what is he even to do here, to make Yugo understand how bad the situation is. All he can do is stand there looking haunted, while receiving unprecedented amounts of psychic damage.

If I was Joris at this point, I would simply pull out a flask of whiskey and a cigarette. The political situation has now gone completely unfixable. There is no going back, now that she has said these two lines.

Someone native to the World of Twelve and old enough to understand politics would know how bad this sounds. But to her, these are good things. Of course they are, since she knows what is good and what isn't, and everyone in her world has always accepted those things as good.

Basically: the conflict between WoT and Eliatropes is that a nation of people from a world of teletubbies-level conflict, — with no bigotry or nations or poverty or hunger or theft or inequality, or ulterior motives, — has been added to a "game of thrones" type society with no explanation. And now they are all forced to try and understand one another.

If I was Joris at this moment, I would simply shoot myself in the temple with a gun. If things were bad before, they are horrible now. She is talking to world leaders as her children. It might have been alright even with Eliatropes, but these people aren't Eliatropes.

DO I EVEN NEED TO COMMENT ON HOW BAD THIS IS? IN A WORLD WHERE COLONIALISM, RACISM, SUBJUGATION, AND SLAVERY ARE REAL? IS SHE ON CRACK?

I would give anythign to see Joris's expressions as she's saying these things. I think he should be trembling. Staring vacantly into space.

To someone from a world of violence, a world with "no violence" seems like a world where violence is hidden, and enacted to stop them from voicing their disagreement with the status quo.

Tot has described this as a sort of conflict between the modern world approaches to society — and named China and America as examples of what he was inspired by, while writing Eliatrope.

I will not get into detail on my feelings on it (China is often extremely criticized in the west for things every country in the world does due to racism)

But this might point us towards the fact that the world of Eliatropes wasn't as free of conflict as the show portrays it to be, and it was, in fact, Just A Society, with all that entails. In which case, things get morally morally gray... might explain why, in the earlier drafts of the season, she was meant to be the main antagonist — and why it was decided against.

(Is that maybe why Qilby is so embittered — his experiences were silenced, and he was made to suck it up, only confiding in Shinonome? She does constantly shut up Yugo and Qilby, not letting them speak up about their grudges against each other to keep the peace— [I am quickly silenced by tangent police])

[alabasterpickles]

You said Hades was the one who wanted kids, but how did Persephone react to that?

Any more headcanons regarding their family?

How do they feel when their first baby is born? And the reaction to the "oops twins"?

Sorry if I sound demanding

Please don’t apologize I love getting these kinds of asks!! (Plus it helps me flesh out some of my more underdeveloped headcanons 🤫)

Part 1 —

Yes! Hades was the one that instigated the conversation about having a family. Originally, I think Persephone didn’t even know Hades *could* have children, since he’s widely regarded as infertile (she just so happens to be a fertility god, so I guess he won the wife lottery) and so came to peace with the idea she may never be a mom as soon as she realized she’d fallen in love with him. When he comes to her asking about starting a family, I think she feels a bit of reluctance and possibly fear surrounding the idea, because it’s definitely a let’s-not-get-our-hopes-up situation.

Part 2 —

Headcanons about their family? I like to think Hades and Persephone, at least this version, would be kind of obnoxious as parents 😂 and I mean that in a very loving way. They’re well meaning and supportive but also I think their quirks might kinda cramp Mel and Zag’s style from time to time.

Hades and Melinöe are the most alike in personality and so I think they spend the most time together, though dad’s lack of predictability bugs her a little. Hades loves his kids and does his best to relate to them, especially Zagreus, but it’s always kinda goofy and awkward (for some reason the Dad from Chicken Little comes to mind?? They have that father-son energy). Brimos is an absolute terror and gives his dad a run for his money constantly, where Makaria is mellow and sweet and generally soft spoken, so she naturally gets whatever she wants. 😂

Zagreus is a big hit with the Fates, he doesn’t know why, they just love him to bits. He’s a huge mama’s boy and has excellent manners and could get along with pretty much anyone, so he’s well liked. Melinöe is the opposite in a lot of ways, she’s direct, not very personable and doesn’t have much of a sense of humor but she’s extremely clever and adept at Underworld management, her dad’s minions tend to respect/like her a lot. Her biggest issue is that she’s painfully insecure about how unpopular she is — she doesn’t make friends easily and tends to scare people away when they do get close, unintentionally of course.

Makaria is the perfect little angel child every parent wishes they had, she is cute and gentle-spirited and polite, she follows the rules and behaves where her twin brother is a troublemaker. With Hades now busy with family matters, Pain and Panic tend to follow him around and do his bidding instead.

All together they are a perfect storm!

Part 3 —

When Persephone finds out she’s pregnant with Zagreus, I think they both feel a pretty good mix of fear and excitement — Persephone has her reservations, partly because of Hades’s *ahem* history with infants and maybe a little bit because she anticipates Demeter’s reaction. Hades is just… pure emotional chaos. I feel like he’s halfway between absolutely ecstatic and a nervous wreck, because like I said, there’s been this belief he couldn’t possibly produce heirs as a death god, yet here they are!

By the time the twins arrive, they are both pretty comfortably set in their ways as parents. Though Brimos is a challenge and they didn’t expect *two* baby gods, I think most of the nerves and anticipatory anxiety surrounding their birth would have waned and they’d both be more excited than anything. I definitely don’t think having kids is easy for the pair of them, so the twins would most likely be regarded as a blessing. They were a good “oops!” for sure!

[fishinavest]

Okay just finished listening to it heres my rant (overall positive!):

First of all shout out Lin Manuel for even like bringing attention to the Warriors and making this it was so good overall in my opinion! I really liked the different genres touched on through all the songs I thought that was really cool especially with the different gangs having different styles. I think the choices of differentiation between the album and the movie plot/original script were interesting. Overall I think i liked/was fine with most the changes and Im not going to sit here and shit on the things I didnt like because im not that big of a hater especially when it comes to anything involving the warriors, the only change i will say i dont like/dont understand is Snow and Vermin not existing??? Thats still so odd to me… anyways though, it was sooo good and a really good experience to listen to if you like the warriors and aren’t a dude bro about them. Hopefully this brings exposure to the warriors that isnt 50 year old men!

Also some of my favorite things, Kim Dracula ATE as Luther holy shit huge props, all the warriors cast was absolutely amazing as well and I think they personified their roles well, I liked the dynamic between the Warriors in this and how it differed a little from the movie yet also I feel pulled certain things from the movies more, I really liked how Luther’s songs were kind of metal-ish as I’m a metal fan so that was a nice touch, LESBIAN SWAN AND MERCY GOD HAS BLESSED THIS DAY THANK YOU LIN MANUEL LESBIAN LOVER HOLY SHIT IM SO GLAD THEY DIDNT CHICKEN OUT OF MAKING THEM LESBIANS WOOO🏳️‍🌈, the ah-she-ca parts were so catchy loved it, i feel like i could see choreography in my head for certain songs which was cool, i think Cowgirl getting bit was funny like why did they include that LMAO, I really really loved Mercy and Swan and I just had to mention that again, also I feel liked if Im going to give anyone an award for like imo playing their character movie accurate I’d give it to Rembrandt literally solely because I feel her voice was perfect and fit rembrandt so well.

My Top Songs (not to say any of the others are bad):

1. Sick Of Runnin’

2. A Light or Somethin’

3. Going Down

4. Reunion Square

5. Final (pt. 3)

Okay I’ll probably have more thoughts in the morning or when I listen to it again but overall I give it a positive rating and bless up our lord Lin Manuel I knew he wouldnt do us dirty🙏🙏

[lennjamin-o7]

I hate tumblr sometimes, I'm so glad i wrote this shit down i would never be able to replicate it otherwise. Anyway, here's babyblade, attempt number 2:

Piglin brute Techno was born with the blood god's blessing and gained consciousness/sentience via chat which comes with the blessing. Usually people with BG's blessing only gain it later in life so nobody notices. But here's techno. Some sort of mishap separates him from chat temporarily. This means he reverts to his natural state of being for the first time in his memory.

Imagine being philza minecraft, creator of men and the world, and you wake up one day to your friend in absolute *hysterics*, screaming for his mama in his native tongue. You understand this language fine but barely speak enough to struggle through a very butchered conversation. (Don't come for him it was always enough to trade and his vocal cords aren't made for it and he had techno to translate regardless!) So phil tries to reassure and comfort tech as soon as he realises what's happening but it doesn't work!

Now imagine being baby techno, terrified, cold in the overworld, WITHOUT YOUR MOM, and then suddenly this weird fleshy thing with weird lumps on its back starts talking to you but it's talking wrong??? Wild. I would also cry. Phil actually does cry with him bc of how frustrated he is that techno can't find any comfort.

So phil gives up and picks up this 3yo who's almost as tall as him but somehow more buff and takes him to the nether where they proceed to look for a piglin who can help soothe techno. They make their way to a bastion and the piglins there are Extremely AlarmedTM by this overworlder having an inconsolable brute baby screeching for their mama and are understandably hostile bc of stranger danger you know? Phil somehow manages to explain so he's fortunately not made into rotissery chicken and and a few piglin sows come forward to comfort the baby.

Phil is relieved when techno stops crying and lets him stay with the sows and the other children for a bit and thus almost dies of a heart attack when techno starts screeching again the second he's taken away from them as phil wants to head back home.

Needless to say, they're stuck in this bastion until techno regains sentience. Phil is melting and miserable but holding on and sticking around for his bestie. Techno is having a grand old time being cuddled and coddled by all the sows and brutes. Little snuggle bug.

MAKE. HIM. BABY. 2024!

I've kept this hostage enough, its adorable. I love anything that makes the "Technoblade is 3" joke into a reality. I especially love divine shenanigans so this is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.

Phil half asleep sending divine Text messages to Kristin asking for her to slap the Blood God or whatever needs to happen to get Techno's blessing back.

So much fun.

[newbornwhumperfly]

in defense of lightening...

so, uh, i love when whumpees think they deserve to suffer and it's even more fun when whumpers think so too! 😈😈😈🥺🥺🥺 here's a silly little snippet of Morja suffering at the hands of Jorah "Self Righteous is my Middle Name" Cuthbert 😩

written for the @whumpmasinjuly prompt - day 3: "____ deserved it" - because it's glorious and delicious and fitting for my blorbos 💖

title insp. by this hanif abdurraqib quote - “in defense of lightening, there is always a darkness asking to be split open.”

~

Annoyingly, the asset is limping. 

The rec room on this stiflingly small base is stupid-small and doesn’t leave much room for hiding in corners, but Morja seems to be doing his best to stay out of everyone’s way, at least. Small blessings. But he hasn’t left the rest of present company alone, lingering by the water cooler and taking infuriating little sips of a paper cup. 

Short journeys, quiet shuffling steps, from the cooler to the corner. Cooler to corner. Jorah’s jaw tics. The soft drag of the tip of his shoe across the floor. Lift, absence of pressure, drag, tiptoe, mouse-step, take more water, scurry away. Fuck, can’t he just take the whole industrial jug at this point and leave well enough alone? 

Like a mosquito buzzing near his ear and never quite landing, Jorah just can’t ignore it. He’s lost a second round of Battleship to Pfeffer, inducing one of the guy’s booming chuckles in the wake of slipped curses. He doubts anyone else has noticed - it’s not exactly obvious. Whether the asset isn’t feeling very sulky today or else he’s too chicken-shit to fish for sympathy while Jorah is in the room, Morja is behaving himself. 

It’s not like anyone can see it either. It’s not like anyone knows why the little creep is dragging his heels around. But if the twinge of soreness in Jorah’s arm is anything to go by, Morja’s soles have gotta be smarting in the hours since last night. In the cool shadow of the corner, he leans against a wall to spare his stance.

His soles were that pre-bruise red, that deep shade right before purple Jorah knows well by eye, the welts in perfect straight lines over the arch of his thick skin. Jorah has to work for the break in the skin. Had to stop before it bled, before the lines broke altogether, even though a scream, hard to draw out as blood, broke in muffled echo through the rag between the asset’s teeth. Jorah is patient, he’s not some fucking brute who doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows when to stop. 

Knows when to reel back, gloved hand gripping the black metal ruler firmly. It’s shimmering ricochet gleams in the low-wattage, unstained by its task. God, Jorah admires military hardware. Even tools as simple as this have many uses, such as drawing out beads of sweat from the asset’s screwed-up face, rolling down into his dark hair, in making the skin of his knuckles bleach white with clenching, making those bare feet quiver and dance to the beat of Jorah’s tune, unable to fake. 

The way those thickly callused toes flinch in their tight bonds can’t be faked. 

It's different than the spasm drawn out by the jolt of electricity across his feet. Jorah's baton can always cause that. Getting the skin tender, blistered. But some days, you've gotta hit something. And the response - the jerk, the whine at the tail end of a trailing yelp, the harsh drag of breath through the nostrils - feels practiced in a way that doesn't at all discourage the conversation.

That’s the beauty of physical pain. It might not “work” for traditional interrogation but it sure does tell you a lot of other shit. Jorah checks the bonds over, the tight security of zip-ties over cloth, no grooves, no marks, good work. He watches a bead of sweat roll down the back of the asset’s calf, catching on dark hairs, a path down to land on one of the welts that match the feet. Watching the clench of his thigh when the stinging salt likely hurts like a motherfucker in the stripes across the backs of this thighs. 

Pain is a language everyone speaks fluently. The perfect fucking teacher. The highest grade in understanding. 

There’s a purpose to the shit he’s going to Morja. Mindless beating accomplishes nothing much - not unless you’ve got a lot of free reign to work with. And here, Jorah simply doesn’t, not with soft-touch attitude of everyone at hand. No. Until Claudia or Cobi or especially Brax - Captain Hutchins - sees the value of it, Jorah’s work has to stay discrete, even-handed, subtle. 

Unfortunately for this guy, he gives Jorah a lot of room to work with. 

“Never knew you beefed it so bad at Battleship, J-Man, wanna switch to Go-Fish?” 

Jorah blinks, shaking away the fucking mosquito buzz around his ear, snorts, flicks a little plastic boat at Cobi’s arm and it bounces off the skin. 

“Owwwww.” Cobi whines, his big dumb face wrinkling up as he flicks the boat back. Sticks his tongue out. “Sore loser.” 

“Grab you a soda and we’ll call it even.” Jorah drawls, drawing cheerful agreement from his friend as he stands, stalks to the nearby little fridge. Drawing out the cold cans in hand, he catches a you, uh, a fan of Go Fish, buddy, it’s cool if you join us, right, Jorah? 

Oh. Right. He’s still fucking there, huh?

Jorah straightens, glancing out of the corner of his eye, catching the asset, catching Morja, stock-still. Cobi’s head tilts back, yellow curled and shaggy, dog-like, beaming in the man’s direction like a spotlight. 

Morja’s stillness is broken by the flicker of his eyes, dark, narrowed, from Cobi to Jorah. Blink. Widen. Blank. Creepy. 

Jorah’s fingertips crack the tab of his soda, the sharp pop snapping through the air, a hiss of cool air, and Jorah’s mouth pulls up at the corners. 

Morja’s throat jumps in a swallow and those black blank eyes blink once-twice. Sways side to side on tiptoe. This close, Jorah hears a small squelch at the sway. Oh. Interesting. Putting cold water in his shoes, huh? Jorah’s eyes flick down to his feet, up again, close-lipped, and Morja blinks faster. 

“Yeah, man.” Jorah says. “You wanna sit down with me and Cobi?”

It’s almost boring the way Morja’s eyes widen. The way he lowers his weight down to rest on his swollen soles to spare his thighs the strain. It’s a little funny though. Like a dog trying its hardest not to look at you when it threw up behind the couch. 

Flick to Cobi. Back to Jorah. Back again. 

“I-“

Almost on cue, Cobi cuts in with a musical you don’t HAVE to, of course, only if you wanna. Jorah can always count on Cobi not to ruffle any feathers. And at that, Morja’s body unfreezes, doing his little at-attention routine, shoulders drawing back like a flinch of its own. 

“Thank you, sir, I have work to do.”

Right answer, Asset. 

“Hey.” Jorah shrugs. “If you have work to do, you should do it.”

There it is, that dumb fucking tilt of the head, like he doesn’t get it. Like he doesn’t know what’s expected of him. Has to be told fucking everything - what to eat, how to kneel, when to talk, where to shit, probably. Jorah’s mouth pulls at the corners again, his teeth grit and bare. Read the room. 

That sends the asset scurrying off, click-swallow-blink, the paper cup tumbling out of his hand into the garbage, squelch squelch squelch, and that awkward thorn-in-foot limp when he retreats, dragging one foot after another. 

Jorah’s body relaxes all at once, shoulders dropping down, rolling his neck. Fuck, corralling people in line is hard work. Whatever, a sheepdog is thankless sometimes. Still. It’s a nice thought that this idiot runs off with his tail between his legs, with wet shoes and a dry tongue, unable to sit or stand. 

Setting the sodas on the table with a wide grin, Jorah lounges back for the first time, guard settled, plucking a new little ship between his fingers. 

“Fuck Go-Fish, bro, I’m stretched and hydrated now, your fleets gonna sink.”

Cobi’s face beams and then frowns a little, glancing back towards the exit, the crinkle in his face making Jorah’s stomach sour again. “Man…I hope Morja didn’t feel left out. I don’t want him to be lonely.”

Jorah flicks another ship at Cobi, drawing another sqwuak. His shoulders are down flat now, hackles soothed. The mosquito has fucked off and the room is cool and calm again.

“Aw, big softie. Get your head in the game or I’m gonna sink your battleship. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

He deserves it. 

~ 

taglist: @much-ado-about-whumping @whump-tr0pes @haro-whumps @whumpthisway

@whumping-every-day @stoic-whumpee @whumpzone @straight-to-the-pain @redwingedwhump

@wolfeyedwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @liliability @whumpster-draganies @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whatgoeswhumpinthenight

@tears-and-lilies @whump-me-all-night-long @scoundrelwithboba

I hope you enjoyed this little snippet cause i was so so excited to write something new again!! 🥰🥰🥰 have a very merry @whumpmasinjuly 💖

@whumpmasinjuly-archive

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟THE JELLO HAS BEEN EXPOSED🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 5 “The Turbulent Triathlon”

Get out of the picture, Yul. How dare you.

I wish this turned out better. Honestly. It's a bit lacking compared to the others.

But come on, since when has Yul ever been a quality character?

Enjoy the reaction.

Villains Alliance is such a lame name for this.

We need a better name.

If you have a better name in mind, tell me.

Oliver gets thrown out of a plane, as usual.

We haven't actually seen much of Oliver. I'm starting to think he's dead XD

NOOOOO!!!

NOT THE CHICKEN!!

THAT CHICKEN WAS CUTE, COME ON.

I know this is something they do in Survivor. But there's a reason you get clotheslined by a clothesline for it.

"Sorry ma'am, we're just tired of eating fruits."

Hey, fruit is good man!

Such evil behavior.

Who are the villains again?

"Camp life has been good recently. Tom's been extremely helpful! Guess cops make good survivalists as well."

Aw, look at these two getting along!

Jake butts in the confessional like "THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT BEING HAPPY?! I'M DYING OVER HERE! ALL I HAVE IS FISH!!!"

I noticed the camps are in different locations. The Yellow Team is near the beach. The Cyan Team is more in the woodlands. And the Pink Team has a bit of both with a nice lake area.

Or, sorry MAGENTA Team.

That's a weird thing to name a team.

Magenta Team. Magenta Team. Magenta Team. Magenta Team.

I guess it has a ring to it.

"Wait... you want to kill it?!"

TELL EM GABBY!!!

I knew she would be against this.

"Well yeah. How else would we eat it?"

"WELL FUCK ALL Y'ALL! I'D RATHER YOU EAT ME!"

"We can keep her and name her Freckles."

Awwww, yes!

Yes, please do that!

Cyan Team should have a pet.

"Why don't we vote an see what the majority wants to do?"

A smart Ellie decision?

Wow.

The smartest thing Ellie has ever done. And it's regarding a CHICKEN.

OH YOU SUCK TESS! REALLY?!

COME ON! LET THE CHICKEN LIVE!

NOOOOOOO

"Sorry Gabs. Why don't we go get some fruit?"

"Let's go set up a clothesline. That'll be a 10/10 prank to pull on Tom. Just for you, babe."

"I would've voted to eat the chicken, but I didn't want Gabby to feel ostracized."

Oh come on.

Well at least you're supportive of your girlfriend I guess.

#JUSTICEFORFRECKLES

"Where's Ally and Hunter?"

"Taking a nap in the tent."

"Hope the lovebirds keep it PG in there."

😳

OHOHOHOHOOOOOOO...

OH MY GOD NO.

THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY XD

OH GOD.

"We... were thinking about the alliance you offered."

"Ashley and I talked and... well... we want to take you up on that offer."

Really?

That is interesting.

Cause I would've thought they would all band to get her out.

"If you're out, it'll come down to a tie between us two against Hunter and Ally."

OH THAT'S TRUE.

That's actually smart.

"And what's stopping you from using me now and throwing me away when I'm no longer useful?"

Nothing.

XD

I'm gonna be honest there.

"To be honest, nothing."

Even they said that XD

Oh poor Fiore.

"I need to get Hunter and Fiore on the same page. Otherwise, we're toast! I'm not letting history repeat itself."

Hey, at least you learned from last time.

Where are these guys?

"Though, you might see the occasional hair on your plate if you're rude like me!"

Oh that's gross.

Hate that.

"Oliver? Wha- why would you take orders from him?"

"He helped me through some rough times. I owe him a lot."

Yeah. He did. Bless.

Also good to know he's not dead.

GET YOUR ARMS OFF OF HIM!!!

"Oh don't worry! You'll have plenty of time to decompose in a retirement home when you're out of the game!"

"Uh, you voted for me, idiot!"

GET YUL OUTTA HERE.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT.

And honestly, I BLESS whoever did vote for you.

"It was me. I voted Yul."

😲

OH. MY GOD.

QUEEN QUEEN QUEEN QUEEN QUEEN QUEEN QUEEEEEEENNNN.👑

BLESS HER.

BLESS THIS WOMAN.

"For my next showing, I will vote Yul. Every time I can. Yul is such a bad villain nobody wants him around. He don't deserve to be in this alliance."

NO RIYA YOU'RE TOO GOOD!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVIL!!!

"Lately, I've been getting on his nerve, and I wanted that negative attention on someone else."

OH. OH I GET THAT.

So she shortens a target on her back, cause attention will be on Yul to go once Connor is gone.

GIRL. YOU ARE TOO SLAY FOR THIS GAME. 💅

AND I HATE YUL, SO OF COURSE I LOVE YOU FOR THIS.

SHE DID THIS FOR ME.

"Sorry Connor. You've become my meat shield, and it's too late to turn back now."

"Hey, I warned you. I had the decency to at least give you that much."

"It's also satisfying to see Yul a bit paranoid for once."

👑

Yes. Yes it is.

WE LOVE THE YUL TORMENT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

I love Riya bullying Yul. It fills me with joy.

OOOOOOOOOHHHH

Is she gonna expose them?

THEY GET EXPOSED ALREADY?! DAMN.

OKAY CONNOR GETS TO DO STUFF! 👏

YAY! CONNOR'S RELEVANT TO THE PLOT!!!!

OKAY HE CRUSHED THAT! LET'S GO!

"Hey guys, we got mail! Someone left us a note!"

"Wait, the postal service delivers all the way out here?"

😂😂😂

😂😂😂

*CHOKING FROM LAUGHTER*

😂

OH MY-

😂

*Fanning myself from tears*

OH MY GOD...

😂

HIS FACE.

😂😂😂

I'M SORRY.

I'M SO SORRY!!!

THAT HAD NO RIGHT BEING AS FUNNY AS THAT WAS!!

😂

OH MY GOD 😂

Oh my god I need to calm down...

That has to be the hardest I've laughed from Disventure Camp EVER.

I-I have to watch it again. I have to.

"Hey guys, we got mail! Someone left us a note!"

"Wait, the postal service delivers all the way out here?"

I don't even know why that gets me. Maybe cause I'm laughing too hard to think and get the joke.

Oh my god that's good. XD

"'This note is for members of the Magenta Team and Cyan Team. I am issuing a warning. You must act now while there's still time.'"

OH SHIT SHE IS EXPOSING THEM.

"'If you're reading this, it means I was voted out at last nights elimination.'"

"N-no! S-she... s-she... she can't be gone already!"

OH NO JAKE!! OH SWEETIE!!

That was only person he had left in this world!! AWWWW💔

Told you he would be devastated.

"'Riya, Alec, Grett, Yul, Ellie, and Fiore have formed a secret villains alliance. I heard their plans myself.'"

"'The six of them plan to take control at the merge.'"

"'To achieve this, they will do anything to create problems amongst the rest of you.'"

"'Do not fall for their plans. Take them out before it's too late. Good luck. Signed, Miriam.'"

OH SHIT.

THEY'RE EXPOSED ALREADY?!

What are they gonna do now?!

THERE'S AN ACTUAL THREAT!! THERE'S ACTUAL HIGH STAKES!!!

Aaaaannnnd this is where Fiore goes.

RIP.

"That old lady is obviously senile!"

"Don't you dare call her that!"

YEAH JAKE AIN'T HAVING YOU INSULT MIRIAM.

"I mean, how could we even form that alliance when they're on the other team? Huh? Use your brains!"

I mean... true. It's kinda faulty thinking on their part.

"You are a grown man fighting with a child!"

FR FR.

All Hunter's been doing so far is bully the child.

I hope Allyson and Hunter NEVER have kids.

"You really are a piece of work, Ellie! First you get out Lake, then you're a traitor to your own team?!"

YEP.

ELLIE IS ALSO FUCKED.

GEE, IF ONLY YOU HAD A GIRLS ALLIANCE THAT INCLUDED LAKE SO YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO JOIN THE VILLAINS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

"Let's just all calm down!"

Aw poor Tess.

Tess really is just the glue holding this team together at this point.

"But it's not out of character for you! Dividing people and secret alliances?! Anything for money, right?"

OOF.

OH THAT HURT.

WOOF.

Also Tom should know.

"If this were all true, Ellie would have told me! Right, Ellie?"

OH GIRL.

OH GABBY.

OH NO.

OH NO.

Poor Tess.

Tess is just being completely unheard on her team.

"Our team is in shambles, but I don't blame Aiden and Tom for blowing up. The Ellie I've come to know these last few days is way different than the chill person I met in college."

Game do be like that.

AGAIN, IF ONLY ELLIE HAD A GIRLS ALLIANCE THAT COULD PROTECT HER HERE.

"They might work together!"

"Fiore was literally just exposed. That makes no sense!"

I kinda get both sides though.

Cause what really is better for the game here? Keeping a member of this threatening alliance around? What if you potentially don't lose till merge? Twice? Let alone once?

On the other hand, if you get rid of her, you leave yourself vulnerable to a tie.

Damn. I don't know what the correct option is here.

"You want to get farther in this game? We need Fiore on our side, and you are sabotaging our chances!"

"Jeez, it's always me that messes up huh? Always me that has to admit when I'm wrong. Like you're an angel."

You both suck.

XD

Crazy I'm saying that cause I liked them decently enough last season.

They weren't my favorites, but I liked them.

It's crazy how I'd much rather watch Jake hallucinate getting cucked than these two fighting.

Like I want to know what's going on there and why Tom is acting the way he is.

These two are just pissing me off cause they KNOW how to communicate usually. (At least there's a reason for the boys to have this issue)

What the hell is happening here?

"This is our chance to prove ourselves, for people to see us in a better light!"

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

THE AUDIENCE CAN'T HELP YOU!

"Why do you care so much about what everyone thinks of you? Does it matter that I see so much more than some idiots online?!"

FR.

"You never listen Hunter! You make everything worse. That's all you ever do!"

Go get therapy. Both of you.

Like, you're both awful. But for different reasons.

OH.

OH HE FEELS BAD.

Is he just trying to look out for her but is coming up with the wrong plan?

"Magenta and Cyan Team, getting your first look at the new Yellow Team."

Jello Team?

I heard Jello Team.

*rewinds*

No she said Jello.

SCREW IT. YOU CAUSED THIS.

IT'S JELLO TEAM NOW.

THE JELLO ALLIANCE!

"I feel horrible for Miriam. I know she was super excited to play again."

Awwww 💔

I can never be upset with Jake and Miriam. They are precious.

You probably don't deserve a hug. But screw it.

Oh they're bringing back a Season 2 challenge. That's cool!

I think Total Drama All Stars did this too. Where they just reused challenges from previous seasons but with a twist. Like, Paintball Deer Hunter but with leeches.

I mean they didn't do a good job with the concept. Still.

OH GOD THEY BROUGHT BACK THE THOUSAND FOOT DROP TOO!

Trevor's like "Ha... ha ha... great... nice knowing y'all."

"I was a little tempted to ask the Yellow Team about the legitimacy of the villains alliance-"

IT'S THE JELLO ALLIANCE.

THEY HAVE TEA PARTIES WITH JELLO AS A CLUB OUTING.

"Guess it's time to use my police academy training, and figure out what they're up to!"

Ooh. Tom's gonna intervene?

I mean, everyone knows, so idk how good spying is when there's nothing to spy on. But sure.

Let Tom do some police spy stuff.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE DISGRACE OF THE NAME OF JELLO! AND BIGGOTRY, A COUPLE OF MURDER ATTEMPTS, AND CROSS TEAMING RESPECTIVELY!"

"And... where do you stand?"

"We have to get her out."

Oh.

Jake having friendly interactions with some of his teammates...

Huh. Not on my bingo card at all.

OP-

THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT.

"Hunter, a-are you alright?"

Oh wow he actually stopped to check on him.

"Awwwww, did someone have a little tumble? Eat my dust, loser!"

*Proceeds to throw a tumble weed at his face*

WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR DUST PLAIN OR SEASONED?

"Same old guy."

Yeah, facts.

"That was a little funny, but don't you think you were too harsh on him? He already lost his bike."

Oh wow. Grett's not as shitty as she used to be.

I mean I loved Grett's shitiness, I'm just shocked. I thought she would be all over that.

"That's the point. Kick em while they're down to ensure defeat."

I'm sure that won't end poorly.

(This GIF cracks me up XD)

"Being mean and controlling didn't exactly end well for me last time."

Grett redemption arc?

Is this what I'm hearing right now? She learned from her mistakes?

Is that what they're doing with her character?

Let's go???? Grett redemption arc???

"Who are you, my mother? Quit trying to tell me what to do!"

SHE'S TRYING TO HELP YOU.

"Well next time, if you want your opinion, I'll ask!"

"Which will be never! UGH, who gave women rights?!"

"You've got to get rid of those thunder thighs."

WHAT THE-

PERMISSION TO KILL THIS BITCH?

HER THUNDER THIGHS ARE BEAUTIFUL! FUCK YOU!!

"He knows that's a sore spot for me..."

I'm kinda worried for Grett now.

I don't want to assume SOMETHING, but if her own boyfriend body shames her, then shit.

Idk, she SAID she was losing weight for herself. How much of that is the truth??

"Thank god Miriam is gone."

Of course Ellie is happy.

"I wasn't responsible for it, but screw it. REVENGE FEELS GREAT!"

"Three million bucks is on the line. If you're not stressed, you don't belong here."

Yeah, I can see that being on Ellie's mind cause she's in poverty.

In her mind, she needs that money more than anyone else.

Which, you know, might be true actually.

I get her motive. I do.

As much as I dunk on Ellie, I actually do like her as a character and I do find her motives and her story arc interesting and compelling.

Just, you know, think your plans through.

"If I win, I won't need to hold down two jobs to pay for college."

You know how SHIT college bills are?

The majority of people who go to college get student debt they can never recover from.

I got lucky. My family refused to let me pay for college myself.

OH HE HAS TO CARRY HIS BIKE XD

Poor guy.

"Let's go! There's no time to waste, Tess!"

No let Tess talk with her bae! That's what she came here for.

Oh no.

He just looks sad now. The anger is just gone.

He just looks sad looking at it.

Tom doesn't want you anymore.

🎵"Don't wish. Don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart."🎵

🎵"There's a girl I know. He loves her so. I'm not that girl."🎵

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WICKED JOKES.

"Just hold onto me while I swim."

"I HEARD THAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT EXACTLY, TOM?!"

"NOTICE ME DAMMIT!!!"

"Alright, but I want to try and do this myself first."

Aiden character development! Let's go!

I like their friendship. It's so wholesome.

You know, aside from the elephant in the room.

"Over this past year, me and James took gliding lessons Cute, right?"

Awww.

"Well, we did it mostly to help me overcome the trauma from last seasons final. I still don't love heights, but... those lessons have helped me overcome that fear."

Oh that's so sweet! I love that!

I love what they're doing with Aiden so far. It's so nice!

And as I said that he's already on Tom's back.

I hope Jake isn't watching that.

"I guess being a lifeguard could be my... plan C!"

"Hahaha! Cause I suck at all my jobs?"

"Hey... is Jake mad at you or something?"

OH HE NOTICED.

"He's been eyeing us for awhile, and not in a friendly way."

"Who's Jake?"

"The guy in pink. He looks like Ladybug, but a guy."

"I don't know him."

"But I thought-"

"I don't know anything about him. Nope. Never talked to him in my life."

"Don't worry, I'm planning on talking to him."

Are you? *Not convinced*

"Fine! I've been avoiding Jake."

Oh finally you fess up to it!

"I feel burned by what happened on our season and... whatever. I need to look forward."

Oh yeah...

I said it could be that, but that just confirms it.

It does have to do with that. Cause I know that hurt both of them so much.

And Tom's already moved on, it seems like. So it's a bit hard to confront your past.

BTW, I do know about these Greetings existing.

Currently, as I am reacting to the show, I do not care about these.

Whatever information is said in these is irrelevant to me at the moment.

Because for me, the REALLY vital stuff should be IN THE SHOW.

I'm sure they're great. But in terms of my exposure to them: NOT RIGHT NOW.

Y'all just chilling here?

Nothing better to do?

"Friendships can't be trusted in this game."

In terms of Alec, yeah.

In terms of Jake, YOU were the one that broke that.

"With all do respect, you don't know him like I do. I can decide that for myself."

POP OFF TESS!

She has a backbone! She knows what she's doing!

"I'm tired, Tess."

"Of the game?"

"Of Ally."

Oh shit.

"Ever since last season, a ton of haters started coming to her streams and raiding her social media, leaving nasty comments."

For literally no reason. Like seriously WHAT DID SHE DO???

I still don't get this. She didn't have this issue before? Really?

It's the Internet. You're gonna get haters.

I'm getting hate comments, but you don't see me being a bitch to anyone about it.

EVER HEARD OF BLOCKING?

"I don't blame her. People online are cruel."

I guess, but I feel like Allyson is more mature than that.

She has a Twitch Career! She has way more social media presence and impact than I could dream of!

"Ally seems to have this thing where... she needs to be liked above all else, and... when people are mean, she can't brush it off like the rest of us."

THAT IS NOT HOW ALLYSON WAS CHARACTERIZED LAST SEASON.

THAT'S WHY I'M NOT BUYING IT.

Like, I WOULD buy it if she WAS characterized like that before. But she wasn't.

"She acts confident, but I can tell that she's hurting inside."

So Hunter does care about her.

He just is really bad at it.

Awww.

"You have to let me win, Riya!"

She can't help you! She's on the other team!

Cross teaming does not work.

"We've been exposed. Everyone knows about the villains alliance!"

"Miriam sent out a letter to the other teams. My entire team found out this morning!"

"But... wait, that's not possible. Miriam was sitting at camp all afternoon before elimination."

Put the pieces together.

"Sorry kid, but I want the reward."

RIYA!

COME ON!

I mean I get it, cross teaming don't work. But at least piggyback her!

"For my next showing, I am undoing the crosses of the cross teaming that is crossing the line with the exposure of the crossing! And now the crossing is out of hand and we have a lose lose scenario!"

NO RIYA THAT'S A TONGUE TWISTER!

"Don't worry! I'm like a bullet train!"

OOP.

AND NOW YOU LOSE.

"I HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED! I SHOULDN'T HAVE UNDERESTIMED THE GABBY! DAMMIT!! MY EGO!!!"

"Your team will have a portable shower and soaps delivered to your camp!"

"Yes! That's exactly what I wanted!"

Of course you do XD

"I am SO SICK of catching colds! I want my next showing to be HOT! And clean!"

Of course Riya wants luxury. I love her.

And Fiore is screwed.

"Hey, fellow Jellos?? Yeah... I got some bad news for ya. The kid's a bit... yeah..."

"Why the hell did you not help her?"

"Look at how we set this up, man! If the Jello Team loses, one of us goes home! If the Cyan Team loses, one of us goes home! If the Pink Team loses, one of us goes home! DID YOU NOT THINK THAT THROUGH? AT THE VERY LEAST I WON Y'ALL A SHOWER!"

"Is it that shocking? We trusted Fiore to win a challenge for us."

Yeah, why did you guys put her at the end?

"Hopefully the team finally realizes who really needs to go."

I don't know what the best move is here, actually.

I don't think they're gonna get rid of Hunter or Allyson though. They have a plotline.

Oh we're just going right into it! DAMN! OKAY!

It's gotta be Fiore, right?

They're not gonna get rid of the other two yet.

"First vote..."

The long pause.

Fiore?

'FIORE'

Yep. She's gone.

'FIORE'

She is gone.

'HUNTER'

That's Fiore's handwriting.

'HUNTER'

OH!

OH MY GOD?!

WAIT ARE THEY ACTUALLY-?!

😲

MY JAW IS DROPPED.

OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY DID IT!!!

I DIDN'T THINK THEY WOULD!

HOLY SHIT, I THOUGHT HUNTER WAS GONNA STAY LONGER! HE HAD A PLOTLINE WITH ALLYSON!

THAT WAS A BLINDSIDE!

"Do y'all just hate winning challenges?!"

"Yes. Yes we do."

"I'm sorry dude, but we did what was best for our game."

Which is pretty fair.

I feel like both options help you.

On top of that Hunter is... kind of a merge beast.

"What's the point of a goodbye? I'm probably joining you soon anyway..."

Yeah, I'm shocked by this.

I thought these two were in it for the long run and we'd have to deal with their relationship drama the whole time.

But no. They dropped it in Episode 5.

Especially since the promotional stuff and the intro emphasized them fighting. You'd think that'd mean that's a major plot point.

But NO.

I'm shocked.

"Hey now. The Ally I know wouldn't give up on a game like that."

Awww.

See? He cares about you.

Awwww.

At least they made up.

XD

YEAH SUFFER BITCH. YOU DON'T GET BEAUTY SLEEP.

Oh?

What are you doing here?

Cliffhanger. Great. Love that. /s

Idk, I feel like that make up was bit rushed.

THEY WON ME OVER A BIT AT THE END THERE THOUGH.

I mean I get it, but also both of them just don't feel like the same characters from Season 2, ya know?

Shock to the system hearing that from me, cause you all know I love the messy characters at this point. But like, the ones I like are consistent, ya know? They were characterized and set up in their respective seasons to be that way, so it makes sense.

Hunter and Allyson are chill people. Idk.

Not saying they can never argue, but both of them have shown to be so calm under pressure in Season 2. And here they aren't.

They had targets on their backs ALL MERGE, and yet they were so calm under that amount of pressure!

I'm still not seeing the vision of what they're doing with Allyson.

Maybe with Hunter gone, she will, ya know, be more tolerable.

She's not completely pissing me off yet though. Still.

It's not that stress over hate comments is unrelatable or anything. I was pretty heavily emotionally abused from where I used to live myself. That can make you hot tempered. But she's not emotionally abused, it's Internet people that can't hurt her.

If anyone remembers when I used to hate on Dhar Mann (I still do), I actually got very nasty comments ALL THE TIME. And it led to me having anxiety attacks for two weeks straight.

But that was the worst reaction I ever got to an Internet comment, and that took two weeks time. Every other time since that I'm over it in like a day.

Even with hate comments I get sometimes, I'm over it in about an hour and it doesn't phase me anymore.

So... I HAVE been where she is. But it does not make sense to me that her type of character would have that issue.

It just kinda feels like "Hey look at her! She's relatable! SYMPATHIZE!"

Relatability does not equal a good character. It does not get points from me.

I do not relate to Grett or her struggles at all. This stuff never happened to me. But I still stan her. I especially do NOT relate to Riya at all! It would be very concerning if I did. But look at me still liking her.

I'm for her being an underdog on her team. If that's what the plan is.

She can gravitate towards her teammates, minus Fiore. I can see that happening.

If this team loses again, Fiore is gone. 100%. There is literally no reason for any of them to keep her longer than that.

I am willing to give Allyson's story a chance. It's only Episode 5. She can still win me over!

I DO NOT HATE HER. (YET.) I DON'T WANT TO. I WANT TO LIKE HER.

Unfortunately the Jello Alliance is exposed to everyone. Yes I'm calling them the Jellos cause it's funnier than 'the villains'.

I think they're gonna be okay though. Fiore won't be, but aside from that. It just seems like such a big deal and it's being established as this major threat that it can't just be dropped a few episodes in.

That doesn't make any sense to me, anyway.

Jello is important. They're gonna be important.

RIP Fiore. You are royally fucked.

[melting-houses-of-gold]

It’s my ✨birthday✨ today! Give me a gift by reading these incredible fics:

I did this last year and it was so fun--one of my very favorite parts of fandom is getting to be in community with people whose work I enjoy and to celebrate them. So, in honor of my [redacted] birthday this year, we're doing another round! Maybe these are some of your familiar favorites, or it's a chance to discover something new.

All of these are listed in no particular order :) and all explanations are a little unhinged. Blame the new mom brain!

Star Wars🌟

Muse by @jewelofmandalore (rexsoka, E, one-shot): What can I say about this fic except that every time I read it, I actually stop breathing for its entirety? Modern AU. College Rexsoka. Art students. They're obsessed with each other. I'm SO SO normal about it.

Labyrinth Hearts by @chocmarss (rexsoka, T, rebels-era, in-progress multi-chapter): We have such a need for time-travel in this ship and this fic, while just a few chapters in, is delivering! Post-Malachor Rebels-era fic holds such a special place in my heart and I love love love this one.

A Remedy for Memory by @ahsokathegray (rexsoka, T, in-progress multi-chapter): I love a good amnesia-induced romcom scenario and this one inspired by the other zoey is so stinking cute. I'm so excited to see where it leads!!

Those Who Can by K.R. Closson (alpha-17/fem!obi-wan, E, multi-chapter): I'm insane about this whole series, which is different paths that Obi-Wan could have taken, but this one is the good shit. I want to inject it directly into my veins. I started it at 11:30 and stayed up until 3 am reading it because I had to keep clicking to the next chapter.

ACOTAR🌹

Poltergeist Darling by @thesistersarcheron (feysand, E, in-progress multi-chapter): Is it even a Feysand fic if Rhys isn't batshit insane for Feyre? As a lover of spooky gothic romances, I clicked into this fic so intrigued by the premise (Rhys bringing Feyre back from the dead after she dies UTM) and the writing drew me in IMMEDIATELY. The vibes are so insane, the two of them are crazy for each other, and literally every word is a gift to read.

Good Luck Charm by @whatishowedyouinthedark (feysand, E, multi-chapter): god bless the daddy kink snail in SVDG's brain because this fic was fucking unreal. College AU Feysand with eager-to-get revenge Feyre and frat president Rhys was EVERYTHING. I had to ration myself to one chapter a day because I might have died otherwise.

Castles Ever After by @separatist-apologist (Feysand, Nessian, Elucien, E, series): Every time I open a MB fic, I know I'm going to have a GREAT time, and this series was seriously so fun. When a mysterious uncle leaves the Archeron sisters three castles across the UK, each one goes on their own journey and finds love along the way. We've got everything—Modern day bodice ripping, fake fiances becoming real, battles staged on castle lawns, Lucien Vanserra being his sassy hot self, chickens—EVERYTHING.

[kevindavidday]

tell me about rikoseth 👀👀👀

ah yes...the curse i have been blessed with as of late...kevin's 'its not a major loss' (seth) and neil's 'its not a major loss' (riko) this got looooong so i will put a pause for those of y'all who do not fucks with this

i can't remember any scenes of them actually interacting with each other but i do know riko's canonically responsible for seth's death and idk which one of you from the gremlin trio (you, adler and gia) made the post about how riko could never kill a man directly? and its been rotating in my head like a rotisserie chicken im ngl i know he wasn't there when seth actually died and idk if he'd ever be able to kill him directly. dare i say, riko has less blood on his hands than neil does (oompho how dare i) but still, guys, calm down, he's still an asshole i don't like him in canon, except...and this is gonna sound crazy to some of y'all but he IS a nuanced character (gasps) (much like thea muldani (more gasps) but that's a topic for another time)

i do like seth, however, i like him very much because of the potential he has as a character and because of the rage that was just brimming in him from the core, man. i think that's beautiful.

but back to the main point, rikoseth...the ship is like highly dependent on the setting for DAAHF because kayleigh is alive in this and i think that has had an affect on rikos psyche for the better. not by much, he is still very much a cunt but this time he's like. less annoying about it. (spoilers now) and as you know DAAHF starts off with kevin rejecting riko's proposal because neil called dibs (on god he has not seen that man in YEARS and he's still hung up) and riko is kind of in a need to get over kevin phase. and i think yk how dans plan will go so...seth being assigned to riko is a very deliberate choice. seth kinda has the same level of bitchiness kevin does but he's actually giving riko attention? who does that ? what are the ulterior motives? why is riko leaning hard towards borderline stalkerish behavior? why is seth intriguing to him - is it just that he's attracted to assholes or is it something about him? obviously he can't figure it out so, seth has to die about it (haha jk...unless 👉🏻👈🏻)

i also just kinda wanna see what happens when you mix two assholes tgt like this is fully a chem lab experiment for me, i'm cooking rn (they should chase each other with knives i think they'd enjoy that very thrilling experience) (also, there was originally gonna be kevseth in DAAFH btww ik ik tragic loss but the kevneil was too good to pass up)

they're both extremely angry characters and in the situation i put them in they're both older, they're both different, they're extremely bound by the situation and the loneliness that comes with knowing that you won't be missed when you're gone.

arson is involved.

hallelujah :3

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 46

Okay, now for today's question...

BL You Want to Experience Again for the First Time

It's hard bc there's lots of BLs that have a certain 1st time magic that you just can't get after, right? This being said, I do have to pick and, listen, idk, today I'm making weird choices, idk, bear with me, will you?

Moonlight Chicken & 3 Will Be Free

Moonlight Chicken... Ah, Moonlight Chicken... There is not a single bad episode in that series and I think it's precisely bc they weren't playing. They didn't need 12 episodes and they knew that and owned up to it. There's so much realness in this series, so many topics that are handled so perfectly and the acting is fucking great. Watching this was like getting myself a treat after a long day, giving myself a gift. Few productions are as good as this one and I'll stand by this affirmation in the presence of god themself. I wish I could watch this for the 1st time again just to experience the wonder I did then.

I know. I KNOW. I know about Joss. I KNOW ABOUT JOSS. And I acknowledge he's a terrible person. But that doesn't take away from the fact that 3WBF is a great fucking series. Is it a BL? Idk. Maybe not by most standards. But I wanna talk about it so I will. Deal with it. I think the storyline is so interesting and the development of the characters is so good, makes so much sense. Plus it's poly rep and I think we need that. Some ppl do have the opinion that Shin is kinda left out but I disagree. I think they all have their particular ways to relate and deal with each other and the more space Shin needs is set by him too. I think if you believe your relationships all have to be the same and you have to treat everyone equally in order for them to be good, then you're not ready to have any sort of relationship bc the facts are that ppl are different and you need to handle them differently. This is not to say everyone who dislikes the throuple is like this (you're allowed to dislike it), but I've just seen too many stupid arguments as is and I needed to get this off my chest. Anyways, I wish I could have the experience of the scene where they become a throuple all over again bc the joy was immeasurable.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Bad Buddy

I love this series, everyone knows. And finding it out and watching it for the 1st time was a blessing. This being said, I was new to BL when I watched it. And for that, I feel like I missed some of the genre references that make the production so good. For this reason, I feel like the rewatches I've had of it were more valuable than the 1st. And so, I can't really consider it as an answer, I believe.

[darabeatha]

Basic about my muses in no specific order (part 1-?):

ㅤA.sclepius: ㅤ(source: Greek mythology.) Snek doctor; fucked up with the gods and found out (got struck DEAD with lighting from zeus bc he was messing around too much with the whole bringing to life dead people). Grouchy. Hates apollo. Don't come to him for a 'simple' flu, he's here for more interesting diseases.

ㅤA.shwatthama: ㅤ(source: Indian epic Mahabharata) warrior who was born with a blessing (gem on his forehead) that would grant him something close to immortality but who by a moment of grief and rage over the unjust death of his father, acts upon it and gets cursed with immortality so he's just wandering around with a wound that will never heal.

ㅤConstantine XI: ㅤ(Source: history, Europe) last Byzantine emperor / or also considered the last Roman emperor, as Byzantine emperors considered themselves as Roman emperors in direct succession from Augustus) the fall of Constantinople (the capital of the roman empire he ruled) marked the end of an era (the medieval period). He is regarded as the emperor who fought alongside his soldiers to the last breath and perished during battle. Historical based + including the chivalrous tales surrounding his figure as the emperor who fought alongside his people as well as the famous story of the 'marble emperor' in which it details how he did not die but was saved by an angel who turned him into a marble statue, waiting for a call to reconquer his old city and rebuild his fallen empire.

ㅤA.rthur P.endragon: ㅤ(source: Welsh folklore + the retelling of Arthur as king of Britain) You probably all have some semblance of the tales of king Arthur so I won't detail much about his history. Carries the weight of hope across universes. This Arthur is the image of the ideals of a knight in shining armor that you often see coming from tales in books. A man who became distant and who carries the shattered pieces of an unattainable honor, calm yet playful. Sacrificed everything for his kingdom to the point where he ignored his own humanity to become more of an instrument than a person. Currently, he is on a fight to save the world.

ㅤJ.ason: ㅤ(Source: Greek mythology, from the Argonautica) The captain of the argo and leader of the Argonauts (Jason's crew consisting of a bunch of different heroes he recruited from all over the place like Heracles, Achilles' dad, Orpheus, Atalanta, Asclepius, Medea, Castor and Pollux etc etc) basically his story is the og a.vengers (but better). Jason is the purest definition of an 'epic's hero' as well as one of the most human characters in greek mythology (alongside Odysseus who is, fun fact, his cousin!) as he possesses great leadership and ambition yet is in the same sentence, a coward with bouts of depressive/hopeless episodes who will run away first like a headless chicken as soon as the potatoes start to boil / HIS life is at risk. The definition of 'wow! this guy is actually pretty cool??' and 3 seconds after "actually, this guy sucks a.ss!"

[clus444]

RealityStar! Gaz Part 3

Open The Chat Rooms

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone! I'm your host, Sativa, and I'm here to test certain theories about love. The contestants will blindly choose their 'Their Forever Partner' and be put through challenges so we can find out how forever their partners are gonna be," Sativa says cheekily. "Sometimes we put what we call 'spies' in the game that no one knows about. Their job is to act like their here for love but its to test limits. More will be explained later as I want to get this show on the road. My final question to the contestants is, are you ready?" The screen turns black and I stare at it waiting for something else to happen.

The words ' Start dating' appear with a loading bar under it. The room is nicely decorated with a beach theme to it. The walls are a nice blue color with a accent wall painted to resemble a beach. They put nice black couch in the wobble with beach themed pillows. Quotes about not giving up taped on the wall. One camera not so secretly placed in the top corner of the room.

The bar finishes loading and 12 profiles pop up. I accept 4 chats and I start three with a simple,

R-Heyyy

Everyone was told no names in case recognition happened. Especially since some have made it known they were on the show. One of the chats consisted of talking about sports only, one treated it as a sex thing kinda and I immediately left, and the others were downright boringgg!

How hard is it to have a normal conversation? Though I can't completely blame them. Dating for me hasn't been lucky and I think I find myself carrying that onto here. But hell can you blame me? Rome wasn't built in a day.

I decide to click on one more before finishing for the day. Clearing my mind and coming at this with as much positive energy as I can.

R- Your profile says that you are from Great Britain

Is the food as bad as they say?

G-Though I love my country,God bless the queen (She's alive right now,I have my reasons), the food does have its faults compared to America

R- Are you trying to say it is better than any other place?!?

G-I said we had some faults... We have some delicacies

R- Can you even count chicken masala...

G- I'll have you know that degradation is my kink

I laugh out loud at that. I guess I kinda did go in hard.

R- Looks like we have something in common.

We began texting back and forth the conversation flowing smoothly. I catch myself giggling and twirling my hair. We talk about movies and of course land on the argument of rose and jack. He could've fit!

G- Yes the door was big enough but! Weight would weigh them down.

R- Puh-Lease! She could have given him her life jacket to help cover him for the cold.

We talk about each others families. His father was enlisted in the army but now spends his days in the wilderness to get his hands dirty. His mom stayed at home to care for him and his sisters. I told him about how my father died which left me and my mother. I only have one sister.

R- My father passed when I was young so I don't have many memories with him.

G- Daddy issues go crazy for the both of us.

Though my father is here, we weren't always close. We are now repairing our relationship.

I also found him to be very funny and quite sassy! His quick comebacks had me dying on the floor. I'm sure the viewers will have a field day with our messages.

*Buzzt*

A buzz happens and lets us know that we have to stop chatting.

G- I'll text you tomorrow. Tell your other dudes I'm first in line.

I smile as I reread his text. I fist bump the air as I start to feel like this wasn't a complete failure. Maybe love is in my cards or maybe I'm being naive and desperate. I'm not quite sure but what I do know is that if this doesn't work out, Hot Girl Summer will!

Kyle receives a small message that says...

S- Feel free to make a confessional. Just grab the camera under the couch and set it where to computer is.

He thinks for a moment weighing his options. He grabs the camera and sets it up. How should I start?

"I'm Kyle Garrick but everyone calls me Garrick. So far I've talked to 8 people. Only two really catch my eye but I have my doubts about this whole thing," He pauses and laughs.

"For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that none of this is real. What can I say? Stacey and I share a similar military family background. And the other one just seems crazy. But I will admit how interested I am to see how this plays out," He finishes talking and signs out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Giving you all some more plot but I cant lie and say I wanna skip some parts. Anyways hope you enjoyed!!!

Masterlist

[unnoticed-poison]

ᴅᴀʀᴋ! ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ! ᴠᴀʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ꜱᴛᴜᴅɪᴏꜱ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ 【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】

【 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟐 】

Sorry for the long wait I was busy with life and other fics, plus I didn't know whenever to start with this movie or choose another one so I was stuck.

Oh yeah you need to read the trailer chap before this one if you haven't.

Oh yeah this fic is posted on AO3, Wattpad and quotev :3

"What do you mean this woman just fell from the sky?"

"She just did ok?!"

"I saw it too!"

"Oh she's moving she's waking up!"

"Step back everyone!"

As you felt yourself waking up, you slowly opened your eyes, your vision blurry as you pressed your hand on your temple, the pounding in your head was almost unbearable.

Releasing a soft groan, you struggled to set up while trying to recall what happened.

"Whoa easy now Signorina, let me help you!" Suddenly, you felt a pair of hands gently grasping your elbows, as they helped you stand on your feet.

You groaned again and turned your head to give the person you were leaning against a quick thanks.

Wait...

You thought once the blur cleared, you felt your heart drop when locked eyes with a shirtless tan-skinned man who sported long, dark hair and a full moustache, the wide grin on his face revealing the gap between his front teeth.

Who is this?

"Who the hell are you?!" You exclaimed, shoving the man off as you stepped back.

"Forgive me, Signorina, but we're the ones who should be asking the questions here, seeing as you suddenly appeared on our ship out of nowhere."

Huh?

You quickly backed up from the man and scanned your surroundings, the men surrounding you displayed a mixture of confusion and curiosity on their faces.

You frantically looked around for an escape, but saw nothing but the open ocean with no land in sight, your heart pounded loudly in your chest when you realized the situation you were in.

You were on a ship, in the middle of the fucking ocean, with what looked like to be pirates...

.......

....

.

You screamed.

------------

The men covered their ears in response to your screaming, their faces displaying the discomfort and shock at the volume of your shriek.

After a few moments, your scream died out, you looked around in confusion and panic.

Just where the hell were you?

"Stay back, don't come any closer!" You shouted, your body tense and voice shaking.

"Calm down, we're not going to hurt you." The buff man said in a gentle and reassuring tone, a contrast to her frantic demeanor.

Just as you were about to respond, you got interrupted.

"Well well well, look what we got here." A deep voice shouted from above, making you look up at the man who was standing above in the crow's nest, you squinted your eyes, trying to see the person talking.

Your eyes widened in recognition upon seeing the familiar face.

Was that..

Sinbad?!!

Oh my god

Oh my god..

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

The man grabbed a rope and swung himself down, before letting go of the rope and performing a flip in the air. After he landed gracefully on the ship's floor, he stood up and dusted himself off before making his way over to you, who was too stunned and speechless to do anything.

"Looks like the gods have blessed us with this beautiful gift today, Welcome to my humble ship, princess." He smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, until your lips were mere inches apart. "You and I are gonna have so much fun."

............

What in the actual-

Annnd you fainted.

Hope you guys liked the chap, sorry it's super short ❣️

When she screamed imagine that screaming chicken from Moana, I put the gif down there.

Also alsooo I have a Yandere Hazbin hotel and Manhua/Manhwa fic so check them out if you're interested!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

[dustedandsocial]

71 Records from 2024 That I Won't Back Down From or Throw Dirt On, I Respect These Albums and Their Makers, I Bless Them, The First 27 May or May Not Reflect An Accurate Ranking, Certainly 1-14 Do, But You Can Consider The Bottom 44 Scrambled Or Even Tied For 28th, Merry Christmas: Albums of the Year, December 2023-Novemebr 2024

Dame Area - Toda la Verdad Sobre Dame Area

Die Verlierer - Notausgang

Norms - 100% hazaárulás

Christians - S / Z

Chief Keef - Almighty So 2

Clarissa Connelly - World of Work

Maria Bertel & Nina Garcia - KNÆKKET SMIL

Porta D'Oro - Così Dentro Come Fuori

Alison Cotton - Engelchen

Obijuan - FLDSZN

CEO Trayle - Happy Halloween 6

Heron Fischer - FLEAS [Deleted from Bandcamp, sorry! try SLSK]

Milan W. - Leave Another Day

Fievel Is Glauque - Rong Weicknes

Papo2oo4 & Subjxct 5 - We Don't Miss

Opéra Mort - Le Présent

eL-Hortobāgyi Hortator - Thessalien Stoa Paradosi

Nexcyia - Endless Path of Memory

Tristwch Y Fenywod - Tristwch Y Fenywod

Wilted Woman - What's Her Secret?

Cuneiform Tabs - Cuneiform Tabs

Pollution Opera - Pollution Opera

Various Artists - Paz Na Terra

Shafrah - بنات المدينه Bnat El Medinah

Fera - Psiche Liberata

Peter Brötzmann & Paal Nilssen-Love - Chicken Shit Bingo

454 - Casts Of A Dreamer

Container - YACKER

Able Noise - High Tide

Wacław Zimpel - Japanese Journal Vol​.​1

POLO PERKS, AyooLii, FearDorian - A Dog's Chance

Annelies Monseré - I Sigh, I Resign

Babyface Ray - The Kid That Did

I-I (Uchihashi Kazuhisa, Tatsuhisa Yamamoto, Sakaguchi Mitsuhisa) - I-I

Akai Solo - DREAMDROPDRAGON

Klara Lewis & Yuki Tsujii - Salt Water

G.O.O.N. - God's Only Option Now

Manuel Gonzales - DAYS GONE BY

Chief Keef & Mike WiLL Made-It - DIRTY NACHOS

Red Brut - On Bare Ground

Nag - Fear

Sparkheem - One Of Them Nights

Isabell Gustafsson-Ny - Rosenhagtorn

Violence Gratuite - Baleine à boss

Juicester Dummy - Juice vs Juicester

Miss Mårble - Frog Rock

HavinMotion - MOTION

Snakeskin - They Kept Our Photographs

Julius Gabriel - Tales from the Subterranean

VICTIME - En conversation avec

YUNGMORPHEUS - Waking Up & Choosing Violence

Jim Marlowe - Mirror Green Rotor in Profile

Donny Ying - Get my Bag Right

Abdullah Ibrahim - 3

Tearing - All Sides Find Insides

evilgiane - #HEAVENSGATE, VOL. 1

Glass & Maoupa Mazzocchetti - Y Head

Lazer Dim 700 - Injoy

Senyawa - Vajranala

Mattias De Craene - A House Where I Dream

David Wallraf - The Commune Of Nightmares

Solpara - Melancholy Sabotage

Cavalier - Different Type Time

Winged Wheel - Big Hotel

Regler & Anla Courtis - Regel #13 [Noise Rock]

klwn cat & Sunmundi - Lived and Born

Sanctuary Of Praise - Solace

Grimório de Abril - Castelo d'Água

Drive with a Dead Girl - How it begins

Koridor - Kroz pukotine

Thomas Bush - The Next 60 Years

[ravendruid]

I know it's not a September prompt (rather something from another prompt list you reblogged long ago), but if it's at all possible I would love "kissing on a dare" for Vax/Scanlan (not that they need a dare, considering Vax kissed Scanlan full on the mouth at least twice in CR, but I would love something from you about those two! <3)

Hi Anon! Thank you for sending this prompt! I may have gotten a bit sidetracked on it (oops), but they do kiss! I hope you like it :D

Truth or Dare?

(read on AO3)

Vox Machina might be protectors of the realm, but they are, first and foremost, a group of shitheads who love to drink and have fun, and they are not going to let some insignificant vampires and undead ruin their night. 

The tavern is practically empty at this time of the night, most of the patrons having left to their own homes, but Vox Machina is still going strong (even Keyleth, who might be a few mugs of ale in). Grog, bless his sweet, giant heart, managed to find enough ale for another round of drinks and, much to everyone’s confusion, an empty bottle of wine.

“What’s that for?” Vex’ahlia asks, taking her mug from the goliath and nodding at the bottle.

“Ah, that would be for me,” Scanlan grins. He takes his mug and the empty bottle and sets it in the center of the table.

Once everyone is served, they stare at Scanlan expectantly, then at the bottle as he spins it once. 

“Perfect,” Scanlan announces, then he looks at his friends and says, “Let’s play truth or dare.”

“We’re not teenagers anymore, Scanman,” Vax snorts into his drink, but he still wiggles his eyebrows in amusement at the gnome. 

“Which means, it’ll be even more fun!” Scanlan replies.

“How does this work?” Keyleth asks. Suddenly the whole tavern goes silent (which doesn’t mean much because it’s just them now).

“What do you mean, ‘how does it work’, darling?” Vex asks, leaning over the table to look at Keyleth.

“Have you never played truth or dare?” Scanlan asks, shocked. 

“No…”

“Oh Gods,” Percival tries to hide a chuckle but he’s ineffective. “You really are sheltered.”

Keyleth gives her friend an offended look and crosses her arms over her chest. “That’s rude, Percy.”

“It’s okay,” Vax tries to calm the emotions around the table. “We spin the bottle and where it lands you ask the person ‘truth or dare’. If they pick ‘truth’, then you ask them a question they have to reply truthfully. If they pick ‘dare’, then you set a dare for them to do like–”

“Taking a piece of clothing off,” Scanlan winks. Keyleth doesn’t look very happy at that idea.

“Or,” Vax intercepts, “Run around making chicken noises.”

Keyleth visibly relaxes at that. “And if we don’t want to answer the question?”

“You drink,” Vex shrugs. 

“Simple enough, even for me.” Grog says with a large grin.

“Let’s start with small things,” Vax suggests, then spins the bottle.

Everyone holds their breaths as the glass bottle rotates on the wooden table, especially when it starts slowing down, and when it finally lands on Vex’ahlia, they release their breaths collectively.

“Truth or dare, sister?” Vax smirks. If Vex’ahlia is scared at all of what her brother might come up with, she doesn’t show when she replies, “Truth.”

“When we were younger, did you steal my favorite dagger and blamed it on the poor maid?” Vax leans over the table, narrowing his eyes at his sister. 

Vex laughs as if Vax is asking her the time, then replies, “Of course, brother. It was me all along.”

“I knew it,” Vax scowls. 

“My turn,” Vex’ahlia shrugs and spins the bottle. Everyone squirms on their chairs when it lands on Percival and she looks at him like a lion looks at an antelope. 

“Oh no,” Percy squirms harder than the others, trying to pull away from Vex’ahlia. 

“Truth or dare, darling?”

“Dare,” Percy gulps. They all know Percy just went through a huge trauma, so it’s not shocking he might be trying to avoid questions about it.

“Fair enough. I dare you to drink up the rest of your ale.”

Percy nods at the easy challenge and downs the rest of his mug—which in his defense, was only half-full. He stretches over the table to spin the bottle with a sigh of relief for not having to answer any intrusive questions but the movement, and the spike of alcohol make him slightly dizzy. The bottle’s neck lands on Vax’ildan across from Percy, who immediately pales at Percy’s smile.

“Truth or dare?” Percy asks, looking from Vax to Keyleth, then back to Vax. He knows the rogue must have noticed it because he immediately replies, “truth” with his voice an octave higher. 

Maybe it’s the effect of the alcohol dimming his senses, or maybe it’s the effects of the alcohol making Percy bolder, he’s not sure which is which, but the question flows easily out of his mouth, “Did I hear you correctly in the study earlier? Did you confess your love to a certain someone?”

THUD!

Everyone jumps in their seats looking at the source of the noise and they find Keyleth sprawled on the dirty, sticky floor of the tavern, rubbing her hip with her stool lying at her side.

“Sorry,” She apologizes, getting up. Her face is bright red and she avoids eye contact with everyone, but especially with Vax.

Once Keyleth is fully seated, all eyes are back on Vax who gives Percy a menacing look before he downs the rest of his drink and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“My turn,” Vax grumbles and spins the bottle. 

The bottle spins for a few seconds, everyone looking at it expectantly—well, everyone except for Keyleth, who is still peering down the light amber liquid in her cup.

“Fucking hell,” Vax curses. Keyleth, as if sensing it, ever so slowly raises her gaze to the neck of the bottle pointing at her. “Truth or dare?” Vax mumbles in a low voice, avoiding eye contact.

“Truth,” Keyleth replies. Her knuckles are white around her mug from holding it so tightly.

“What’s your favorite wild shape?” Vax asks. Everyone at the table scoffs at his question, but Keyleth quickly replies, “Minxie” then spins the bottle.

It lands on Grog this time, to which he replies ‘dare’. Keyleth challenges him to do fifty push-ups with the twins on his back, which Grog absolutely kills. 

“Alright, time to up the ante,” Vex calls, a few rounds later when it’s her turn to spin the bottle. It lands on her brother, again, but this time Vax picks dare, either trying to avoid any more intrusive questions he doesn’t want to answer, or because he knows no matter what he picks, his sister is going to try to fuck with him.

“I dare you to kiss Scanlan,” Vex says, grinning. 

There is a collective nervous chuckle at the table, but Vax merely shrugs and jumps from his chair. He swags on his way to the gnome, then grabs his face, practically squishing his cheeks, and presses a long smooch to the man’s lips.

“Is that the worse you got, sister?” Vax asks with a smirk, completely ignoring the shell-shocked gnome.

“Oh, wow,” Scanlan shakes his head as if trying to get rid of a mental fog. 

“It changed your life, did it, Scanman?” Vax teases with a wink. Scanlan simply grins in return, which provokes another chuckle at the table.

“Raise your hands if you've been kissed by Vax,” Vex’ahlia calls smugly. 

Scanlan raises his hand proudly first, then Keyleth, ever-so-slowly. 

“Did it change your life?” Vex continues, staring daggers at Keyleth, who is avoiding eye contact. The druid lowers her hand faster than she raised it, but remains quiet.

“Oh for sure,” Scanlan mocks. “I think I might be addicted now. Can I get another smooch?” He leans over the table but Vax pushes him away with a hand on his forehead, laughing.

“You just watch. I’m gonna end up kissing all of you,” Vax grabs Vex’s mug and uses it to point at Percy and Grog before he downs it.

“Not me,” Grog shakes his finger. 

“Even you, big man,” Vax teases, making smooch gestures, then he turns to Percival and does the same, wiggling his eyebrows at the human.

“Alright, alright. Enough flirting, brother.” Vex takes her mug back before Vax finishes all the ale in it. “Grog, can you fetch us more ale?”

“There weren’t any more,” Grog shrugs.

They all stare at the table for a moment, realizing all their mugs are empty.

“Maybe it’s time for bed,” Scanlan suggests, jumping off from his chair. The group follows, some groaning louder than others, some stumbling on their feet. 

“Yours or mine?” Vax asks the gnome with a wink, but before he replies, Vax corrects, “You know what, nevermind. I have other plans,” and with that, he tries to swing his arm around Grog’s torso, who doesn’t understand Vax’s advances are just a joke and ends up punching the rogue unconscious.

“You can sleep right there,” Grog voices out before he leaves the tavern, followed by a laughing Scanlan and Percy. 

“Should–should we help him?” Keyleth asks, blushing. 

“He made his bed,” Vex taps her brother with her boot. When Vax doesn’t move, she shrugs and accepts Keyleth’s offer to help drag her brother back to the castle.

“He’s going to have a massive headache tomorrow and no way in hells I’m gonna let him forget this.” Vex snorts.

At the end of the night, Vox Machina are nothing but a group of shitheads, and no matter how many sovereigns and cities they save from vampires and undead, that will never change.

[dutchvanwinkle]

Mr Van der Linde Pt. 5 - Dutch x Reader

Hello again darlings! I hope those of you celebrating Easter / Ramadam / Passover are having a wonderful weekend, did you know this overlap only happens three times every century? How cool is that!! Whether you're observing a holiday or not, it's now time for us to all come together and fantasize about daddy Dutch :)

I would apologise for the wait between this chapter and the last, but I did say this fic would be relatively slow in updates. I wrote a good chuck of this chapter then decided I hated it, took some time away from it, came back, then realised it wasn't as bad as I'd made out in my head lol. It's a pretty fluffy one tbh, and even if it's not as long as the previous one I hope you still enjoy!

It's on ao3, too!

Summary: Your relationship with Dutch deepens when you spend more time with him after a stressful week.

Word count: 6,471

Content warnings: smut, mildly creepy dutch

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

Despite everyone’s knowledge of the end of the academic year, not one of your group of friends took the responsibility of arranging the flat for you to all live in together for second year. So, once again, you and Karen were in the same one - with John, Abigail, Sean, and Javier across the hall in theirs. You didn’t mind much; you were all too deep in the habit of leaving your flats unlocked anyway so the others could wander in should they please. It was dumb, but you hadn’t been robbed yet and imagined that’s what it would take for you to change your ways. 

Abigail had made extra dinner and you were the first to claim the portion, skipping across the hall and ambling in with a grin on your face. The two of you ate and chatted with the TV filling the background noise. Karen had joined not long after, and the three of you found yourselves sprawled on the sofa, tired from a full day.  

Second year was noticeably harder, no more easing you into university life – the theory and assignments were tough. However, thanks to your hard work in the previous semester it wasn’t an impossible leap. It had been for some, Javier regularly coming around in an attempt to inconspicuously copy your coursework.  

Just as you were mentally preparing yourself for the next day, the last before the weekend, your phone buzzed. 

Naughty girl. 

Dutch. You cleared your throat, pausing a moment before opening his message. He hadn’t taken any liberties with his possession of your phone number, and your inbox had been decidedly empty since the last time you saw him. 

?? 

Was this the old-person way of flirting? Was it sexting? Hopefully, your response would allow room for clarification. 

I was just in my photo gallery. 

Oh. You smiled to yourself. Another message. 

I almost dropped my phone. 

Sorry, won’t happen again. 

It better happen again, miss. I’ve already made good use of it, and now I’m in need of more. 

Good god, the thought of him pleasuring himself to a photo of you brought heat all over your neck. “I’m just gonna use your bathroom,” you stood up to excuse yourself, getting no response from your friends. 

Once inside, you looked around, knowing full well it was empty and quickly flicked the lock on the door, before pulling your top over your head. Glancing over your reflection in the mirror, you tried to figure out the best angle that’d reveal enough but not too much. 

Eventually, you got an angle you were happy with, only your jaw in view and your tits on full display. You cropped the photo (including your bottom half was a bit too much, right now at least) when his name appeared in your notification bar again. 

Too far? 

Bless him, he could see you’d read his message but left him without a response for ten minutes. Without giving yourself time to chicken out, you sent the picture to him. 

Sorry, I was distracted. 

He read it instantly, and it took a full minute before you could see he was typing. Then the dots disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. You smiled to yourself, pulling your top over your head and flushing the toilet for good measure, before venturing back out and returning to the sofa. Dutch finally decided on what to say once you’d made yourself comfy. 

Come see me this weekend. 

If only. A weekend being fucked repeatedly was just what you needed, exhaustion already settling into your mind thanks to your busy schedule being back in action. Unfortunately, said schedule was exactly why you couldn’t. 

Can’t, sorry. I’m working tomorrow and Saturday. 

Fuck work. I’ll pay you. 

“What are you smiling at?” 

You glanced up, Karen looking at you inquisitively, Abigail taking her attention off the TV in turn to see what the fuss was. 

“Nothing?” you said casually. 

“You’ve been grinning at that phone of yours for five minutes.” 

“I have not been grinning.”  

She raised a brow, the look on her face turning to intrigue. 

“Please tell me it’s a guy. Or a girl. Or anything with a pulse,” Abigail pleaded, and you tutted while Karen cackled. 

“I’ve told you I don’t have time for that crap! Besides, I’m perfectly fine as I am,” you said defensively, folding your arms and ignoring the buzz of a message on your phone. 

“We all need a good screw now and again,” Karen said plainly, Abigail nodding in agreement. 

Don’t we just. “Oh, and Maquire is providing that service well enough for you, is he?” 

She shot you a glare, and as she was about to retort the main door opened, the man himself trailed by Javier and John. 

“Yeah, alright,” John said, his phone held up against his ear while he set the bag of shopping on the counter. 

“Hello ladies,” Javier greeted you all, beginning to put away their communal shop which was pathetically void of nutrients and taken up mostly by cans of beer. 

Sean pulled off his boots, hopping a little before it gave and sighing proudly when it did. “Any of you want a drink?” 

You shook your head, as did Abigail, but Karen held her hand out. 

“Ah, that’s why I love ya,” he grinned, handing a can out to Karen who scoffed in disgust before snatching it from him. 

“Okay, fine, yeah. I can do that. See you later,” John said, hanging up his call and letting his phone drop into his pocket. 

“Everything okay?” Abigail asked while John played tetris stacking the beers in the fridge. 

“Yeah, just my dad. He’s coming down this weekend.” 

That got your attention. Surely not - 

“Says Tilly’s been angling to see the city. He was just checking I was free to spend time with them.” 

“Aw,” Abigail sat up, “will we get to see them?” 

John shrugged, and your phone buzzed again. 

I’m serious. read Dutch’s previous message to you, followed by his most recent one: Looking forward to seeing you. 

You neglected to respond just yet, not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself. That man worked fast.  

“Where are you gonna take them?” 

“God knows. Knowing Dad,” John sat down beside Abigail, “he’ll have already drafted up a full itinerary.” 

You smirked at the thought, a warmth growing in your chest. 

- 

Dutch was fond of John’s friends. They were a decent bunch, and he’d been glad to see their familiar faces when he and Tilly arrived in the city the next morning, dropping their bags at the hotel before coming to visit John’s flat. He reminded himself repeatedly not to comment on the lack of cleanliness students seemed to thrive in. 

It was nice to see John, along with Javier who he’d watched grow up with his son. Abigail was extra friendly, and thanks to a little birdie he understood why. She was a nice girl. They were all nice. But the one he wanted to see the most was unfortunately yet to descend on the flat despite John’s assurance that everyone swings round all the time.  

“I’m going out for a cigarette,” Dutch announced, departing the flat and being met with the doorway to yours opposite him. He tried his luck, finding it unlocked, and mentally chastised you for being careless. He wasn’t sure which room was yours, though he thought it a good enough excuse to have wandered into the wrong flat should anyone ask. Two of the doors were ajar, and after a peek, he found them empty. The flat was quiet, and he decided there was no harm in trying the closed ones. He knocked on the next door, getting no response and so pushing it open. 

Dutch smiled to himself as the air entered his nose; it smelled just like you.  

Thanks to the strange layout, he could see the end of your bed and a slight bump under the duvet where your feet lay. “Tut tut,” he hummed as he took a couple of steps in, “you really should keep it locked – oh.” 

His brows pulled together as his voice died in his mouth at the sight of you fast asleep and bundled up in your bed, completely flat out. He debated waking you but was distracted by seeing the inside of your room for the first time. A little nosy never hurt anybody.  

Hands in his pockets, he observed the pictures up on your wall and smiled fondly at the ones including his drunken son. Then, he glanced over the perfume bottles lined up near your small desk mirror, then to the books and paper laid out beside your laptop accompanied by an empty mug from the previous day. It was then that he turned his attention back to you, hair ruffled with one arm out of the covers. 

Dutch sat on the edge of your bed and brushed a strand of hair from your peaceful face. It was enough to make you stir, and you cranked your eyes open. He smirked as he observed your expression, going from alarmed to relaxed when you realised it was him, then back to alarmed when you realised it was him.  

“You really should lock your flat, and your door,” he greeted. 

You rubbed your eyes, wondering if the man had come to visit you in a dream though it felt undeniably real as you remembered your conversation with John the previous day.  “Or perhaps,” you said around a yawn, “strange men shouldn’t let themselves in and sit on my bed.” 

“Strange men?” Dutch looked mildly offended. “I’d hate to know what you do with familiar men.” 

“Very funny,” you grumbled, pulling the covers up to your neck. “What time is it?” 

“Ten thirty. I didn’t think you were one to sleep in late.” His hand rested on your lower leg, and the added pressure was soothing and lessened your motivation further for starting your day. 

“I’m not. But I’ve got a long day today, so I’m treating myself,” you shut your eyes and felt Dutch shift his weight on the bed. You felt his warmth over you before you felt the kiss he pressed to your cheek, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of it. It awoke other unsavoury sensations that you usually repressed in the morning. 

It was as though he sensed it, brushing his hand up your leg and moving to kiss your jaw, an added tenderness compared to its predecessor. You sighed contently, the comfort of Dutch’s soft chuckle reaching your ears. There was no option but to give in, your eyes fluttering open as you shifted onto your back, allowing Dutch to manoeuvre himself on top of you. His face filled with pride, but when he moved in to kiss you, you put your hand up as a barricade.  

“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” you explained, and he huffed a laugh. 

“I could care less. But, if you insist,” his hand travelled further up the path of your body, cupping your breast as his lips tended to your neck instead, which you bared for him gladly. 

“Was it really worth coming all this way?” you asked, lazily watching him trail his lips around your skin. 

“Of course,” he said, hardly breaking his path, “need I remind you of my lack of interest in desiring a thing. I prefer -” 

“- to have it, right.” Dutch smiled up at you, and the tardy realisation hit you that you were now finishing his sentences. “How was the drive up?” you asked quickly, hoping to alleviate any teasing forming in his mind. 

“Just swell,” he answered, trailing his hand underneath your pyjama top to knead your breasts. His fingers moved gently in circles, testing your tenderness as they neared your nipple and lightly tweaking the now erect buds. Then his mouth came down over the fabric, and he sucked one into his mouth, leaving a wet patch behind that he eyed fondly once he was done. 

“You know,” you set up on your elbows, craning your neck to look at the door, “I really should lock my door. Just in case.” 

Dutch placed his palm on your chest, applying pressure until you lay back down. “No no, you want to leave it unlocked, then you leave it unlocked.” 

“I’m serious,” you attempted to sit up again but damn he was strong, “John lets himself in all the time.” 

“Does he,” Dutch hummed, moving his head down to suck your nipple in again and released, “I ought to teach the boy some manners.” 

“Dutch, it’s not funny. Let me lock the -” 

As you tried to sit up Dutch applied his full weight onto you and mouthed at your neck while all the air was knocked from your lungs. Strong and heavy. It would be a comfort if you could only breathe, and grumbled incoherently at your body’s response to being trapped by him despite the danger of the situation.  

“Now,” Dutch cooed, lifting his head and running his thumb along your chin, “don’t you worry. I’ve been fit to burst since you sent me those pictures.” 

“I thought you -” 

“I did, but it’s not the same.” With that, he eased off slightly as you gradually accepted this was a risk you’d just have to take, and wrapped his hand around your inner thigh to shift your legs apart. “Huh, looks like I’m not the only one.” 

You frowned down to observe what he was looking at and were met with the moist material of your pyjama shorts. “Goddamnit.” 

Dutch chuckled while he trailed his fingers up and down your mound, and it wasn’t long before you were grinding up in time with his movements. He always seemed to know the exact pressure and pace you wanted, and often reigned it back some so as to keep you frustrated. You were about to ask him to get on with it, considering the risk and limited time you had before your day started, when he removed his hand to undo his jeans and pull out his frustrated-looking cock. The man didn’t even look at you, nor give you any warning, before moving your shorts to the side and sliding right in. And curse your body once again, allowing him the smoothest of passages. 

A sigh of relief left him, the sort one would make when sinking into a hot bath. He stayed there a moment, nosing at your neck and brushing his palm down your flank to your shorts, the fabric of which he bunched up in his hand. At least you weren’t wearing any underwear he would inevitably steal. 

“How could this not be worth the journey,” he mused, and you realised he was in fact talking to himself. Still, you sighed out a laugh. 

Dutch moved his torso off yours, straightening up to grab your outer thighs in each hand. His grip was tight, bruising almost, and he held you right where he wanted you as he pulled out and began thrusting in a slow, deep rhythm. His head tipped back, and you stayed watching him, the euphoric pleasure seeping over his face enough to keep you lubricated down below. It truly was nice to know you were the cause of such a response. Well, your body, at least. 

“Now,” his heavy gaze met yours, and he leaned forward to plant one hand on your headboard and left the other gripping your hip, “let’s get to it, shall we?” 

There was no room to answer before he deepened his thrusts, his thick cock thoroughly filling you. He was perfectly anchored to the bed and you, and being leant forward slightly enabled him to brush over the plush, pulsating spot inside you repeatedly. Swiftly building up your impending orgasm, you thanked your accommodation for not giving you squeaky beds despite their questionable quality.   

Dutch’s grunts sounded at the same time as his thrusts, his lips pressed together to limit any other noise and you did the same, quiet gasps leaving you on occasion. “You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” he asked through a laboured breath. 

“Mhm,” you answered and wrapped your legs around him, pulling him further in and it was the last bit of motivation he needed to fuck you into your mattress until silently you came, back arching and hands gripping the duvet beneath. Dutch continued to fuck into you while your orgasm ebbed away, and you bore through the over-stimulation until he pressed his hips as far forward as he could, filling you up as you felt his cock twitch inside you.  

Your breath evened out while he dropped his head forward to run a hand through his hair. “My memory did not do you justice.” 

“That right?” you tilted your head in amusement and he hummed his agreement while slowly pulling out and doing a poor job of catching his spend. Guess you’d be changing your sheets today.  

“Mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked and you gestured to the door to your ensuite in agreement. While he was there, you pulled some wipes out from your side table and cleaned yourself up. 

“What have you got planned for today?” you asked as he ventured back in, doing up the fasten of his belt. 

“Probably get some food, walk around and see what we can find,” he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, gesturing to your fire alarm that was tactically covered by a sock. “You really are a naughty girl.” 

You snorted a laugh and sat up, while he leaned on your desk and cracked your window open to blow the smoke out. “Are they not going to wonder where you are now?” 

“I told them I was going for a cigarette.” 

“Huh, smart.” 

He raised his brows in agreement as he took another drag. “What time are you working until today?” 

“Late,” you shrugged. “I’m on until close.” 

Dutch tutted. “Well, my hotel isn’t far from your work, so you may as well stay with me. I’ll wait up.” 

“I don’t recall telling you where I worked.” 

He smirked, tapping the ash out the window. “You didn’t.” 

“Then how -” 

“I have my ways. I can be rather resourceful when I want to be.” 

“No shit,” you scoffed, ignoring the slight creepiness of him having that knowledge. “But no, thank you, I’ll be too tired.” 

“The hotel bed is very comfortable.” 

“I said no. Besides, you have Tilly with you,” you said, Dutch shifting his position to be half-seated on your desk. 

“She has her own room.” After a final drag, he stubbed out his cigarette and flicked it out your window. He walked over and sat on your bed again, taking your hand in his. “Just consider it?” 

“Fine,” you acquiesced, “I will see how I feel after my shift.” 

“That’s my girl,” he said, a pleased smile forming on his face and moved in to kiss your cheek before standing. “Be sure to say bye before you head off.” 

“Whatever you say,” you rolled your eyes, and with that, he departed, and the urge to shower became urgent. 

You had ten minutes to spare after getting washed and dressed, and couldn’t find anything to busy yourself with so you ended up visiting John’s flat after all. Your friends were all there when you entered, Tilly offered you a hug, and Mr Van der Linde greeted you casually when you entered the flat, like he hadn’t been pounding into you less than an hour ago. 

“Here she is,” John smiled, “you feeling better?” 

Dutch’s expression hardened so fast you could feel it, and you grumbled internally at John once again unintentionally putting his foot in it. “Yeah, fine,” you said quickly, “just needed some sleep.” 

“Perhaps you should skip some lectures and catch up some more,” John teased. 

“You’re actually going?” Javier scoffed from the sofa, taking his attention away from Tilly’s phone where she appeared to be showing him a video. 

“You know I have to,” you deflected, walking over to sit on the arm of the sofa beside him. 

“Eighty percent, you can stand to miss a few.” 

With a playful tilt of your head, you raised your brows accusingly. “Not worth getting into the habit.” 

“Get me a copy of the notes?” he asked sweetly, smiling up at you and taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. As always, you could never resist, nodding your understanding with a smirk. “Ah, Mr Van der Linde -” Javier’s expression dropped as he look at the man in question, “don’t tell my pa, okay?” 

Before he could respond, Sean decided to get a word in. “My da doesn’t mind me not going, says it’s better I don’t get my head filled by those pompous academic types. N-no offence, Mr Van der Linde,” he held his arms up placatingly. 

“Now, why would I be offended by that?” he asked, genuinely, though Sean visibly began to sweat. 

“No reason! No reason at all -” 

“And on that note,” you cleared your throat, deciding to save Sean before he inevitably fell further into his self-made hole. “I should get going. Nice to see you both again,” you said, mainly to Tilly, and hoped Dutch’s devious expression in response wasn’t as noticeable to anyone else. 

- 

If another person asked you to make a cocktail, you’d scream. It’s a Friday, do these people not know how filled to the brim with students this place was? You weren’t even sure why you offered cocktails at this stupid hour; everyone was too inebriated to even appreciate it, and who needs to spend extra on a drink when they’re out to get as plastered as they can, anyway? Just order a shot and be done with it - 

“Whiskey old-fashioned, please.” 

You turned, half-ready to lose your job for punching a patron and were met with a smiling Dutch on the other side of the bar. 

“Seriously?” you gestured around yourself, both as to why he’d ordered that and why he was there in the first place. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s busy,” you grumbled, making an exasperated show of preparing the glass. 

“Fine,” he chuckled, “just a double on ice will do.” 

You offered him a grateful smile, scooping a few ice cubes out of the tray.  

“Do you always speak to customers that way?” 

“Only the annoying ones,” you shrugged. 

“I’m in half a mind to tell your manager,” he raised his brows, leaning on the bar in a way that enhanced his arms as his burgundy shirt stretched around them. 

“Do that and I’ll ask you for ID. You forget I also have the power to withhold... other things,” you slid the drink over to him, and as you were about to announce the total, he handed you a twenty. “It doesn’t cost that much.” 

“It’s a tip.” 

“No,” you lamented, refusing to be his charity case, “it all goes in a pot anyway.” 

“Consider it an apology for my being a difficult customer,” he answered immediately. “And as a sweetener, so you don’t withhold your oh so generous offerings.” 

You tutted and placed the change to sit stubbornly in front of him on the bar. “I -” your attention was pulled to someone new coming up to the bar, “hold on a second.” 

After pouring out two vodka cokes for them, you returned to Dutch. “Where’s John and Tilly?” 

“John’s back at his flat, I think, and Tilly’s sleeping at the hotel,” he sipped at his drink, and you smirked as he tried to hide that this whiskey was not as fancy as his palate was used to.  

“Will Tilly be alright on her own?” you asked. 

“Of course. I plan to return soon anyway; I just need to pick something up first.” 

“What do you need to – oh,” you realised what – or rather who – he was referring to. “I haven’t agreed to come back with you. Besides, I’m still working.” 

“When do you usually finish?” 

“When everyone leaves,” you narrowed your gaze at him accusingly. 

“Ah,” he hummed in amusement. “It appears to be quietening down.” 

He was right. The crowd was certainly beginning to thin out, and you hoped that in true student fashion, they would all leave to go somewhere busier once they noticed. “I still haven’t agreed.” 

Dutch’s response was the inching of his fingers closing to yours, brushing them over your own secretively. “I would really like you to.” 

“I’m really, really tired, Dutch.” 

“That’s fine, you can go straight to sleep,” at the raise of your brows, he continued with a smile that inched on his face, “I mean it.” 

“I could be a while,” you excused yourself further. 

He finished the last of his drink, pausing a beat before finishing it. “Just text me when you’re done. Otherwise, I’ll stay here until everyone else has left.” 

“Okay, alright,” you rubbed your brow, supposing it couldn’t be too bad if you did just go there to sleep. By now, your trust in him had grown to the point where you believed he would’ve put all the measures in place to ensure the two of you weren’t caught. “I’ll text you.” 

“Good,” he said, pleased, and stood. “I’ll be going now, then.” 

“You mean you don’t want another one of those?” you pointed to his empty glass. 

He gave you an almost weary look, and a laugh slipped from you. 

“I’m only kidding.” 

He shook his head, and for the briefest of moments your heart skipped as you saw his rare, genuine smile. 

“See you later,” you concluded the conversation. 

Dutch folded his jacket over the arm and offered you a secretive wink. “I look forward to it.” 

- 

It was another hour before the bar closed, and you swiftly grabbed your bag from the back room, pulling your phone out to message Dutch at the earliest opportunity. 

You opted for waiting outside, a small way down the street in case any of your colleagues caught you swanning off with an older man who’d visited the bar. He didn’t leave you waiting for long. 

“That was sooner than I expected,” he greeted you, and on the short walk to the hotel, you answered his questions about how your shift went. 

“This is an expensive hotel,” you slowed on the approach, and Dutch rested his hand comfortably on your lower back. Somehow, you always seemed to forget just how rich he was. 

“You think they won’t let you in?” he teased, and you nodded genuinely. “Relax, darling.” 

That worked. Your body softened involuntarily, and walking in with him felt natural, easy. What you’d expected otherwise you weren’t sure, still hyper-aware of how you must look to a passer-by at this moment. Or perhaps they didn’t care. Dutch certainly didn’t. 

The two of you took the lift, walking down the well-decorated hallway until Dutch stopped and swiped his card on a door. You let out a breath once inside, kicking off your shoes and sitting on the edge of the bed without a second thought.  

“You and Javier seem to have an interesting relationship,” he commented, untying his shiny black shoes and placing them neatly by the door. 

“What do you mean by that?” you asked defensively. 

Dutch shrugged casually, clearly a façade. “You seem close. I wondered if there was anything there.” 

You scowled at him, too tired for this line of questioning. “Obviously not -” you paused, remembering yourself despite your newfound anger. “Well, we might’ve had a drunken kiss on our first week, but it didn’t progress beyond that.” 

“Hm. I thought as much.” 

“What is wrong with you?” you said sharply, “why would you ask that?” 

“I was only curious,” he held his hands up before unbuttoning his shirt. “I didn’t realise it was a crime to ask.” 

“It’s not. You’ve no right to be jealous.” 

“Who said I was?” he asked, leaning into a chuckle and it only aggravated you even more. 

You huffed out some of your anger. “It’s pretty obvious. I’m not stupid. And you’re not as good at hiding things as you think.” 

His face altered from unbothered to mildly entertained. “I don’t see why you’re getting so defensive. It was only a question.” 

Your mouth opened to let a retort pass through, but none came. The fucker wasn’t wrong, he had only asked. In your exhausted state, you questioned whether you’d read too much into it, and frowned at the ground while rubbing the stress from your brow. Keeping so much contained was a problem in times like this, when emotions escaped out into the world. “I don’t - I just -” you began, feeling yourself getting worked up. 

“Okay, alright, darling. Come here,” Dutch sat beside you, opening his arms and you tucked yourself into the warm embrace. 

“Sorry,” you sighed quietly, “this is why I didn’t want to come. I get grouchy when I’m tired.” 

“I can tell,” he teased, but the kiss placed on the crown of your head balanced it out. “You’ve been sick, John said?” 

“Not sick. Just tired this week, that’s all.” 

Dutch paused, tightening his arms around you. “It doesn’t look like you’re going to have any time to rest in the near future.” 

“I’ll take a weekend off work at something,” you mumbled, almost on autopilot as it wasn’t the first time you’d been berated for being too much of a try-hard. 

“Why do I get the impression you’re lying?” he asked gently, and your responding laugh was mirthless. “I like most things about you, except this.” 

“Except what?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder to catch his eyes. 

“This incessant need you have to work yourself to fatigue. It’s unhealthy.” 

“It’s temporary,” you insisted. 

“If you would only let me -” 

“Don’t you dare offer me money again.” That was a place you’d never go to, a sense of pride far too strong to accept his help. You could do it. You just... need to complain occasionally. And maybe have someone that could help alleviate the stress using tried and true methods. “Wait, you said most. What else don’t you like about me?” 

He paused, as though he hadn’t expected that question. “I suppose how little time I get to spend with you.” 

“That’s a cop-out.” 

Dutch laughed, releasing you from his embrace and standing to continue getting undressed. A feeling resembling awe settled in your body at how proudly he stood, in only his underwear, while finding a pair of joggers to wear for bed. He hooked his thumbs into the band of his pants but paused, slyly looking over his shoulder at you. You swiftly averted your gaze. 

“You’re allowed to look, I don’t mind,” he said with amusement, and you only looked back once you’d heard his underwear come off and joggers come on. You were far too tired to go another round, but you feared your body would decide otherwise if you caught a glance of him fully nude. “Here,” he passed a plain t-shirt to you, “I suspect you don’t have anything to wear.” After you took it, his face fell slightly. “Not that I mind you sleeping with nothing on.” 

You rolled your eyes at his teasing, for whatever reason wanting to get dressed where he couldn’t see. “Does the hotel have spare toothbrushes?” 

“Sure, in the bathroom,” he pulled back the cover of the bed and got in, clasping his hands over his stomach. “Help yourself to whatever.” 

You did, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and changing into Dutch’s t-shirt. It was clean, but it still held his underlying scent. He was in the same position when you re-entered the bedroom and lifted the covers for you to get in. “Thanks,” you said, laying down and marvelling at how soft the bed was, a yawn escaping thanks to your newfound comfort. 

Dutch reached over and flicked the switches above the side table, turning off all the lights except the lamp next to him. Then, he brushed the back of his knuckle tenderly over your temple, and it took all you had to fight an immediate descent into sleep. You took the opportunity to shuffle closer to him, and he extended his arm so you could lay on his chest while he was propped up a little against the headboard. “Get some sleep, now,” he said, his voice a quiet rumble in the low light of the room. 

As you melted into him some more, the bare skin of his chest warm and soothing, he put on his glasses from the bedside table and picked up his book. “Aren’t you sleeping?” 

“I’ll sleep better if I read a little first. Don’t mind me, though.” 

“Okay.” You pecked his lips, and once you were re-settled on his chest sleep came easier than ever. 

- 

The gentle motion of fingertips slowly grazing the middle of your back was the first sensation to greet you upon awakening, and you blinked your eyes open to the hazy filter of morning sun through the window. You were nestled comfortably into Dutch, still using his chest as a pillow and glanced up, finding the man himself in somewhat of a daydream as he looked out the window. He noticed the small movement, though, and offered you a warm smile. “Morning.” 

“Morning,” you half-yawned, stubbornly closing your eyes to nestle further into his chest. How he was more comfortable than the bed itself you weren’t sure. 

“Sleep well?” he asked. 

“Like a log. You?” 

“Just fine. You’re nice to wake up to.” He placed his palm flat on your back, holding you to him. 

“You aren’t so bad yourself. What time are you seeing John today?” 

“I think we’re going for a late breakfast; I suppose whenever he’s ready. We have a bit of time, if you want anything brought up to the room?” 

“No, no, I’m okay. Thanks though. Actually,” you shifted up onto your elbow, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and internally deciding you preferred Dutch’s hair in the morning, a little messy from the night. “I wouldn’t mind using that shower.” 

“Be my guest,” he said politely. It was nice to lay like this with him, you’d expected him to have his hands all over you as soon as you’d awoken, though perhaps he was tired. If anything, he was more reserved than usual, and you hoped he wasn’t beginning to have second thoughts. You knew better than to question him first thing in the morning and moved to a seated position before swinging your legs off the bed.  

“Appreciate it.” You picked your clothes up from their crumpled heap on the floor and carried them into the bathroom with you before having the most glorious shower you’d had in some time.  

Checking your phone once you were finished, you realised you’d been in the bathroom for a full thirty minutes. Whoops. 

“Sorry,” you said as soon as you opened the door, Dutch seated on the bed, now dressed and rolling up his sleeves. “That shower was a little too nice.” 

The smile Dutch offered you was warmer, more awake, and more like himself than he had been previously. “Good,” he offered out his hand which you promptly took and pulled you towards him to stand between his legs, and he wrapped his arms around your lower back. “I’d say you’ve earned it.” 

You chuckled easily, glad to find out nothing was wrong, and he simply hadn’t woken up yet.  

“What time are you working?” he asked, while you ran a hand through his hair and settled it on his shoulder. 

“Early afternoon. I’m off tomorrow, but I’ve got work to do – what time are you leaving?” 

“About midday. Don’t worry about it,” he placed a kiss on your sternum, “I’d prefer it if you rested instead.” 

“I’ll try,” you nodded with a snort. 

“I would like,” he stood up, holding your hands in his, “to see you more frequently, if possible.” 

“I’d like that,” you looked up at him, and the deal was sealed with a kiss. “I’m not sure exactly when, but -” 

“We’ll work something out. I have your number,” he said conspiratorially, an alluring half-smile making him even more irresistible than he already was. “But I fear Tilly will be up soon, I don’t want her catching you on the way out.” 

“Good call,” you agreed, breaking out of the embrace to pick up your bag and double-check you hadn’t forgotten anything. “Have a good weekend.” 

“We will,” he pulled you in for a kiss, one that was tender and slow and left you a little breathless once you’d parted your lips from his. “Thanks for coming to stay with me.” 

“I’ve got to do my part for the community,” you shrugged, and his face dropped into playful annoyance. 

“Oh, that’s how it is?” 

You laughed, edging towards the door though he managed to pat your ass in reprimand before you were out of reach. “I might add this to my volunteering work on my CV, come to think of it.” 

Dutch laughed heartily, pressing his tongue into his cheek and shaking his head. “You truly can be a wicked woman.” 

With a proud, final smile, you stepped forward for a kiss goodbye then opened the door, checking the coast was clear before stepping out. At the risk of Tilly hearing you, you offered Dutch a simple nod before departing, which he returned. 

It wasn’t a short walk back to your accommodation, but it wasn’t long, either. The weather was good, and you were thankful it’d been nice for Dutch and Tilly’s visit up. It wasn’t lost on you that there was a slight spring in your step, every meeting with Dutch making your heart feel that extra bit lighter, and life feel an extra bit more accommodating. After last time, you’d attributed it to the sex, to the rush and release that was a rarity in your everyday. But perhaps it was him, and while this newfound feeling was a nice one to experience, the low hum of guilt and the prospect of where this avenue of exploration would lead you left a slightly bitter taste in your mouth.  

There was a possibility that Dutch’s philosophical suggestions were imprinting on you, but you actively decided not to dwell on the many possibilities and instead focus on that, for now, you had something that made your chest grow warm and your breath seep from your lungs. Perhaps this was what you were missing, a way to dispel your worries and fears even for a short while. And perhaps, on some level, this was something you deserved.