#My boyfriend is a chupacabra

[woodle-isbae]

Beast

Juan.R x black!f!reader

Warnings: monsterphilia , swearing, breeding, bed breaking, mentions of sub!Juan, scent play(?) , sense enhancement , mating press, overstimulation.

Kinktober Masterlist

The sound of loud banging struck you right out of your sleep, rolling out of bed and throwing on a gown and some slippers, you sludged your way to the door.

"I'm comming jeez."

You groaned , rubbing the sleep away from your face. You swung the door open only to be met with your Boyfriend, who was covered in blood , all over his mouth and shirt.

"Hey..?"

"Juan..what the fuck happened, are you bleeding!?"

You panicked , grabbing him inside and sitting him down on the sofa, getting a wet cloth and some new clothes for him to change into. Waiting for him to explain everything while you sat infront of him , absolutely distraught and worried.

"So...I.."

He trailed of , unable to get the words out of him mouth, just the thought of what happend making him tense up.

"You dissapear for the whole night , come back covered in blood...on your mouth aswell! And can't even tell me what happened.?"

You scolded him , feeling anger and sadness wash over you at how he didn't care to say anything!

"I don't know what happened either.!..I like blacked out and woke up in a field.."

His voice cracking and softening near the end , holding back a sob as he bit his lip , eyes filling with tears.

"Juan. What happened.?"

You got up and sat next to him , resting a hand on his knee while the other rubbed his back, trying to reassure him that he is safe.

"I...woke up..next to animals..but- they weren't- fuck...I think I ate them?"

You stared at him , a little dumbfounded at his words but urged for him to explain a little more so you could fully understand.

"I had flashes in my head..of what I think is me? But it looked like a chupacabras."

You nodded your head , going to get a flashlight and comming back to check his eyes.

"Did you go out alone-? Sure you didn't take anything?"

"I don't do that stuff!...I just don't know."

You took a deep breath , holding him close to you as he tried to recollect his memory , unsure of what really went down.

"Tie me."

"What-"

"Tie me up , against the bed frame."

You stared at him as if he was insane, your not one to kink shame but was this really the mood you wanted to do it in?

You reluctantly agreed , finding a rope and tying his arms behind his back to the metal bedframe. Stepping back and admiring your work with a smug grin

"I don't remember you being this good with knots?"

"Yeah because usually your-"

"OKAYY!...can you get me some water?"

He averted your gaze , trying to change the subject to anything else but what you were thinking. You shrugged him off and went to get the water , sitting infront of him as you tried to help him take a sip.

"Y/n..no not-Y/n! Now it spilled on the be-"

"And it spilled on me!"

You sighed , taking the cup back to the kitchen. Removing your gown as it was the only thing that got wet besides some water dripping down between your breasts. You were left in a tank top and some Pj shorts, you stared at him while letting out a large sigh, again.

"Sorry-"

"For what Juan.?"

He shrugged , not even he knew why he apologized. You brushed it off and layed on the bed , deciding to try go back to sleep. Music playing softly in the background.

"You smell great- by the way."

"I haven't even showered yet?"

You turned over to look at him , he was sitting criss-cross, looking down so his eyes were covered by his hair. The hair you loved so much , pulling your arm closer until your fingers latched onto some strands, racking through the dark brunette's curly locs.

"I feel weird..-"

You pulled your hand away , moving to touch his jaw until he pulled back, lifting his head to look at you. His usually dark brown eyes turned into a bright honey yellow colour.

"Your-your eyes.!"

Your jaw fell slack, unable to understand what was happening to him, you were unsure if you were ment to approach him or not. His demeanor was hostile but he looked at you with pleadful eyes.

Your attention to him breaking away, focusing on the way his body pushed forward as if he was trying to get to you, the sound of the ropes tightening around the bedframe. He was going to break free.

You scooted back until you sat at the edge of the bed, staring at your boyfriend who was turning into..a beast?

You could hear the snap of the ropes behind him , the way his breathing turned shallow along with soft and low growls, the predatory look in his eyes as they focused on You. It was like a switch had been flipped inside you , the way he was acting was..arousing to say the least.

"J-Juan? Are you-"

Before you could even Finish speaking he launched at you, pinning you down into the bed as he shoved his face into your neck. Was he sniffing you?

"I can..fuck- you smell so fucking good."

The way his teeth grazed your pulse point had your breath caught in your throat, coming out as a soft whimper when he pressed his crotch against your own. Making you feel how bad he yearned for you.

"Juan..are you oka- ah!"

Your words cut of with a sharp yelp , his hands slipping up your loose fitting tank top to play with your breasts while he sucked soft marks dark marks into your skin. Why do they feel suddenly larger? That wasn't the only thing that had you confused, the way he was straight forward with was he wanted, usually he's shy and would wait for you to notice the bulge breaking through his pants.

You couldn't even complain, enjoying the way he rutted into you through the thin fabric holding the both of you back. Well, not anymore. Before you could process what even happened he had already ripped of both of your clothes , the morning air more noticeable now. He was already between your legs , his tongue working on your clit while his fingers found themselves inside you.

"Fuck! Wait Juan-"

You couldn't even finish your sentence , your orgasm hitting you like a brick, shaking while he continued his movements at the same pace. He probably wanted you at ease for him.

It was as if something snapped in him, he was much more stronger and his senses turned up by 10x , you were unsure if this would be too much but enjoyed every second of it.

By your 3rd orgasm you could barely understand anything but the way he moved his tongue and fingers, tears of pleasure stained your face, legs locked tightly around his head to get him off.

"I need more."

He groaned out , sitting up to show you his red-brown cock, tip covered in cum from rutting against the bedsheets. He had a pleading look, still acting the same but he was more..firm with his words.

He crawled up until he was face to face with you, kissing your blissed out face as he slipped in with ease, whining out at the way he fit just perfectly inside you.

"I wanna make you mine so bad..I don't fucking know why but I want you."

He was so desperate with his movements , pulling your knees to his shoulders while he pounded into you , the bed beneath you two banging on the wall and squeaking. You were sure it would break.

"Please! I need you inside please!"

You begged him , nails clawing at his bare back, leaving red scars and marks there. He growled into your ear , trying to fuck himself as deep as possible. Your boyfriend , a sweet and tender shy man, was currently a monster. Fucking into you like he wanted you to get pregnant, not even the thought of pulling out grazed either of your minds, enjoying whatever was happening right now

His hair sat over his yellow-amber eyes , teeth grazing your neck and the hold on your ass was Strong. He could feel your clamping down onto him, and that only spurred him on more, determined to fuck you full.

"Ugh-fuck , please can I cum in you?"

He begged- whined practically- into the crook of your neck , he knew he wasn't going to last, especially with the way his senses were suddenly heightened. You mumbled out 'yes' and pleads for him to do so, nearing your own climax aswell

You began seeing pure white , your vision blurring as you could only claw at him and yelp, body going limp front the strength of your orgasm. Only twitching when you felt the warm ooze of his cum inside you, slowly spurting out and onto the bed aswell. He slumped over and layed on you for a while , taking in your warmth and the way you look when the-now midday- sun hit you.

You let out a whine of discomfort, feeling empty once he pulled out and went to go get required items for your aftercare, wiping you down and cleaning you right up. Giving you water and some plan B , with a slight frown on his face.

"Next time warn me if that- thing...controls you."

He chuckled at your statement , joining you cuddled up on the bed until a small creek was heard. You were about to get up until your bed fell beneath you , the metal frame giving up. You stared in utter shock at the fact it broke , more at the fact He was able to break it.

"We can get a new one..sure , but we're gonna have to do it less on the bed now.."

"Uh yeah..sorry"

He felt bad for breaking the bed but also really proud he did that. You guys heading to the living room to relax and talk more about his little monster thing.

[according2thelore]

happy wincest wednesday! my question for this week's round table (lol) is: what's your ideal for sam and dean's "apple pie" life? would they settle down and retire with each other, or would they keep hunting? who does the cooking, who does the cleaning (do they even know how to clean?), do they hide the fact that they're brothers or are they the freaky incest bros down the street? do they have kids (mpreg or adoption)? pets? i'm curious about any and all ideas you have :) (@incesthemes)

hi! happy (late) wincest wednesday! omg round table i love that! (so late it's brotherfucker friday, whoops!)

charlotte: I think my ideal was no joke our “now it’s perfect” fic—we headcanoned EVERYTHING we wanted into that baby. I think they would have horses maybe? I could see dean getting into that and sam making fun of him for it. I think sam cleans and dean cooks—obvi. I think that they hide the fact that they’re brothers for SURE. I honestly see them as DINKs for a while and maybe adopting or fostering some teenagers to pay it forward for all of their time in/around the system.

lizzy: hii! i think best-case scenario they stop hunting full-time. i'd like to see them as bobby-esque figures that only pitch in on small, low-stakes hunts and are mostly lore-givers and assign other hunters to hunts. assuming canon happens, except dean survives the barn in 15x20, sam does not want him anywhere NEAR anything above a small salt-and-burn. that i think would spur their "retirement." but i want the majority of their life to be silly and finding hobbies and doing dumb things because they deserve it!!!

i want them to move out of the bunker and build a house from scratch/make necessary adjustments to an existing house to monster-proof it (i.e., salt in the foundation, holy water sprinklers, devil's trap underneath the floorboards in every doorway, iron window frames/door handles), but keep it still a home. i want these men to get fresh air and at least two windows, as a treat.

sam very much does the cleaning, and dean does the cooking. sam is a serviceable cook, but they both like it better when dean does it. dean's a tidier (e.g., throwing a blanket over mess so he can't see it), while sam is more of a proper cleaner.

in my dream world, they wear rings 🥺 i know, it's shmoopy, but i think it's easier for them than trying to explain everything they are to each other. they go to a bar and sam gets hit on and he gets to flash his ring instead of awkwardly trying to explain that dean is his "boyfriend" like they're in the tenth grade. so i don't think they tell people they're brothers. they never truly say what they are, and don't correct people when they assume they're married. they're the winchesters. that's all there is to it.

a part of me i have never been able to kill wants dean to be a girl dad. i want to see him wear a little tiara and try not to look miserable while his daughter pours him his eleventh cup of "tea." he would be gone, whipped, done-zo. he screams his head off at every ballet recital. he gets so into her soccer games that he gets kicked out more than once for trying to fight the ref. some girl calls her a weirdo at school and sam has to pin him down because dean is in actual danger of hurting a five-year-old.

realistically i don't think they have kids (unless they stumble across an orphaned-by-monsters kid that reminds them a little too much of each other), but are mentor and/or parental figures to young hunters or kids that live around them. HOWEVER, if one of them can get pregnant, they WILL get pregnant. i don't make the rules. it's very much a war-is-over kind of decision that now they're finally free, they want to give each other this.

they keep miracle of COURSE. dean loves that dog. they dress him up for halloween every year, and the kids that come to their house love it when he sits out on the porch dressed like a lore-accurate chupacabra. sam and dean sit on the porch, too, of course, shot guns tucked under their chairs like good neighborhood watch dogs. i think dean would actually respect the fuck out of a cat, and the cat would ADORE sam, so i want them to find a silly little wet scrungly gutter kitten that sam brings home and begs dean to keep. he's always had such a soft spot for animals and i want him to have a witchy familiar-vibed cat that also demands sleeping directly on dean's neck.

this was so much. lol. sorry!

thank you so much for this ask!!!! we had a lot of fun thinking/chatting about it! :)

-charlotte & lizzy

[ourolite]

　　　　 ༅ 𝒞irce 𝒴ué'li 𐙚 ˙

♱ all sobriquets + pseudonyms. ࿓ fang, master yuè’li, sir, sir circe, sir yuè’li, pup, puppy, circe love, circe dear, rubber bird, latex predator, leathered bird, (that fucking) raven, circo, mr.circo, circe sir, freaky fang, freaky fuck, chupacabra, hijo chupa, circe, master, lean and lovely, my string(s), selenite scholar, smart ass, sandalphon, bread and butter, cutie or clementine, philosopher friend, big guy, count yue'li, tall curled and handsome, perrito, any subtle positive adjective, circe, blind bat, weirdo, fucking weirdo, garlic breath, werewolf, (my) garlic knot (from neso <3), the werewolf, kitty litter, the guitar playing asanbosam, mr. lee, lee sir, crazy, the asanbosam, handsome, mr. munka-munka, trenchie, trench coat, renfield, you, bloody mary, beauty or beast, ma'am.

ᰍ overall notables. plays an electric guitar (named it delune). has a bloodhound named babydoll and a doberman named yìzé. works as a part-time music teacher for 2nd - 3rd graders, but recently started going to school for a career in interior design. asanbosam’s (the type of vampire he is) are more agile in trees and high places, so he’s kind of clumsy otherwise. often recommends products (notably the brand anzhong, originated by xīn’yuè ànzhōng), random organization tips, or even seasonings. considers calling off of work a lot, though he knows if he does they’re bound to fire him “this time”. circe also doesn’t socialize too much, and he’s very territorial about his home (and so is yìzé— wonder where he gets that from). he’s a little too territorial actually, seeing as circe usually sucks the blood of/eats any trespassers that ignore his precaution signs, in au’s that are mythical allowing. he does so by jumping down from a nearby tree and pinning them. (even friends get tackled if they don’t give him a heads up that they’re on the way!) ᰍ standard physical facts. 6'3. retractable wings with a 20 foot span, which are black and grey with red, pink and silver undertones, and retractable iron hooks for feet. tips of his hair turn auburn when he’s experiencing intense emotions. always smells like anzhong products- particularly colognes. has a chinese tattoo on his inner forearm that translates to damu héxián qín. his nails are painted black, but they get chipped easily because he’s really hands-on daily. lastly, he has a deep, relaxed and very distinctive voice which can be heard here!

დ genshin au notables! he’s spoken of in legends and campfire stories, but as “fang” rather than circe. legends speak of him hooking his prey from treetops and consuming them like he’s the devil herself. however, as of now this is more of a myth. he’s a clean eater, hehe. these stories originated from a period of his past where he had no control of his primal instincts, leaving him to appear as a beastly night terror to all, which he was. presently, he dwells in a custom built cottage in the forest of sumeru, peacefully enjoying his solitude and pleasures. circe has various signs throughout the terrain which warn people of trespassing; company isn’t appreciated in excess. trespassers in the forest rarely come back out alive. not many others live nearby, either. his only neighbors are xipe’va, whom his bloodhound enjoys relaxing with on the porch (his doberman, not so much). tighnari and love, who’s a minor oc of neso’s, are somewhat nearby though, performing their forest ranger duties and such, so he hangs with them now and again. he’s also good friends with jihane, whom lives in sumeru city and often discusses philosophy with him. oh, and his two boyfriends, indigo and xīn’yuè, live in liyue and inazuma respectively.

დ spider-verse au notables! n/a (temporarily).

დ studio ghibli au notables! his position here depends on the movie, so i won't describe each one here, as it's not all definitive due to my experimental nature. he'll more than likely be written in tales from earthsea, the wind rises, howl's moving castle, and my neighbor totoro.

დ modern au notables! he’s currently going to school at a local trade school in california. he lives in xīn’yuè’s penthouse with him and indigo, as well as blumei, maju, babydoll, yìzé, and (once in a while) yúyīn. he sleeps in with indigo whenever he can and enjoys quiet mornings where the girls are at school, the dogs don’t have any zoomies, and everything from the cleanliness of him and the house to the smell of his coffee is just right. however, xīn’yuè is always forcing him to go to work, scolding his lethargy and indigo’s encouragement of it. luckily, no one has to remind circe to be on time for his interior designing classes, as he’s genuinely passionate about it. since he’s not a vampire here, and instead just has traits that resemble a vampire, circe enjoys halloween and spooky themes. he also bites his lovers when bored, was naturally born with his canines being pointer than usual, and is scarily skilled at climbing and maneuvering on the monkey bars or climbing trees. he loves evening/night walks, partially because his skin is still sensitive to excessive heat. the california sun will provoke an eczema-like condition just like in mythical au’s but to a normal extent. he’d rather get caught in the fricking rain.

დ jujutsu kaisen au notables! n/a (temporarily).

ᰍ age appearance. twenty-five (25). ᰍ birthday. may 9th. ᰍ nationality, race, + ethnicity. (varies per au), asanbosam, + senegalese and chinese. ᰍ gender, prns, + sexuality. male (amab), he/him, + omnisexual.

ᰍ sun sign. taurus. ᰍ MBTI. istp-a, the assertive virtuoso.

ᰍ likes. his electric guitar (delune— yes, he named her); playing the guitar is considered his biggest hobby, adoration and talent. his old doberman, yìzé, and his bloodhound babydoll. his cottage. alone time. blood oranges. ironically, loves garlic bread + garlic based dishes (especially pasta). scaring trespassers, or making his friends jump with jump-scares and shoulder-taps for a good laugh. coal black, wine red, and sometimes pink! strawberry icecream. philosophy and sacred music, especially within the selenian race. feminism. boots. silver jewelry. having his hands in aesthetically pleasing positions (pockets, behind his head while laying down,arms crossed, etc). anzhong products. people who use manners. sweethearts, but especially male sweeties (he just wants to pinch their cheeks ugh). MOTHAFUCKING INDIGO and MOTHAFUCKING XĪN! ᰍ dislikes. random space invaders/leeches. too many home guests (or any really). yellow. stalkers/yanderes/yandere-coded people (specifically when targeted at him). pushy people. paranoia, pessimism + assumptions. difficult/slow learners (as a music teacher he struggles with younger kids that don’t process so easily). jellies and jams. the taste of vanilla. misogyny and misandry. bad hair days. getting stuff under his nails, especially when freshly done. vengeance, gossip + untrustworthiness. cooking for people, especially when there’s a lot of em’— no, even worse if they’re too picky.. bicycling. hot, summer days. being caught in the rain without a stylish umbrella. loud noises. dogs that bark too much. explaining/over-explaining himself.

･ﾟﾟ❥ quotes.

After It Rains ୨୧ “Jeez, what a mud bath. *Looks at his dogs.* Glad you two are out of your piglet puppy days heh heh. Guys? *Theyre walking away from him and he’s holding back laughter.* Was it something I said? Come ahhnn! I’m saying you liked the mud!”

About Jihane ୨୧ “The last time we spoke she foretold that my aura was yellow indefinitely. She was wrong. .. It’s red. *Looks off at something in the distance and pauses.* I’m not delusional.”

About Circe: Signature Dish ୨୧ “Nah. That’s a myth, just a little misconception. I use garlic in a lot of my dishes, especially pasta. The best kind I’ve tried thus far? Cherub Sin, easily. It’s a faultless dish. I personally believe the best noodle for any garlic and parmesan pasta is angel hair, and that dish recognizes it perfectly.”

Good Night ୨୧ “Hm.. Remember the night routine I showed you. Ice. Your. Face. Top priority, right? Alright then, and I bid you goodnight. *Nods off salute-like with two fingers and walks away.*”

oc masterlist. extended details. visualizer. character ai.

⑅ leman productions. all rights fucking reserved, do not plagiarize.

[lovelyangrytiger]

So I've had this conversation with a friend and could totally imagine this with soap and his roommate so I had to write this.

Warnings: none :)

readers gender is not mentioned. (Keep in mind that english is not my first language while reading this please😭)

_____________________________________________

You're sitting on your bed, scrolling through your phone while glancing at to the empty bed on Soap's side of the room every now and then. He's an amazing soldier, that's obvious, but sharing a room with him is a whole other level. Sometimes you find yourself wondering if it's a grown man who's giggling at cat videos next to you or a teenage girl.

Eventually the door swings open, revealing a- way to enthusiastic for this time of the day- soap, who casually walks over to his bed before sitting down on it.

"Whatcha doing?"

You sigh and look up at him.

"planning your murder"

His face lights up with excitement, he grins, clearly not taking you serious and simply messing around.

“Planning my murder? Oooh, how are you going to kill me?”

You’ve grown accustomed to his sarcasm and humor and know he’s trying to push your buttons, but he’s doing it in a funny and light hearted way, which makes it less insufferable.

"I'm just gonna wait until your clothes come to live and grow a pair of arms to choke you, shouldn't take that long with how rarely you wash them"

He rolls his eyes and looks around his side of the room.

“Oh, please, I don’t smell that bad. Besides, I’ll do it soon.”

He retorts, knowing youre probably right.

“Speaking of living things, you want to hear a crazy story?”

He then says as he leans back off of his bed, propping himself up against the wall. He doesn't really care about your answer since he's gonna tell his story anyway, but he wants you to think you actually have a choice.

You sigh and sit up, putting your phone down.

“I swear this is true, and not a drunk hallucination.”

His eyes glimmer at the chance of telling this story.

“I was going through the woods in the dead of night and I swear I saw a chupacabra.”

You’ve heard him talk about it before, but he seems extra excited about telling this story, as if he really was there to see it. You just shoot him a look but turn to listen to him anyway.

"What, that thing from Star wars?"

Soap groans and laughs.

“No, not the damn wookie.”

His words come out much faster and louder as he’s now animatedly talking, his hands doing all the motions.

“No, it’s this creature. Big eyes, long slender body, fangs that could tear you to shreds.”

The excitement in his voice is obvious as he explains it. You stare at him, before shaking your head.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing alone outside in the woods in the middle of the night? That's the exact reason why we all pay into the 'possible deaths of soap mactavish' glass."

“What can I say, I like my late night walks.”

He shrugs.

“Anyways, so I’m walking through the woods, late night obviously and I start hearing howling. I look around and all I can see is darkness around me.”

He pauses for dramatic effect.

“And then I look to my side, and I see two glowing eyes staring at me.”

Soap raises an eyebrow, leaning forward towards you to make the story more interesting. You listen to him, but only because you find it comical how excited he gets over this mythical stuff.

"How romantic. Is he your boyfriend now?"

Soap chuckles and swats your leg playfully.

“Shut up, it’s not like that.”

He sits up properly and runs his hands through his greasy hair.

“Anyways, the eyes are still there and the howling is louder, so I start walking a bit faster, you know, trying to hide myself. Andddd"

He says slowly, pausing for extra effect.

“I think you can guess what happened next.”

You give him a mock-innocent nod.

"you threw your laundry at it and it died?"

“God damnit.”

Soap mumbles.

“Why does everything I try to tell you end up in you mocking me?”

He playfully glares.

“No, that’s not what happened at all. I heard the thing start growling then start heading my way, so you know, like any sane person would do, I hid behind a tree.”

"Sure, it's not like you have at least one gun on yourself since you're a soldier and all that, but sure, hide behind a tree"

“Okay, firstly, I wasn’t going to use a gun in the woods at night, secondly, I thought I was imagining things.”

Soap sighs, leaning back in his bed, looking over at you with a playful grin.

“Can you stop being an ass and let me tell my story?”

You suppress a grin, sighing

"My bad, go ahead"

Soap grins widely, nodding at you as he continues.

“So I keep running, then I see this massive tree and I hide behind it. The howling gets a lot louder and I feel something breathing on my neck as the two eyes from before start staring at me. It felt like death was imminent.”

Soap pauses again, taking a sharp breath while looking at you, making sure you're still listening. You roll your eyes at him.

"If the pause is for dramatic reasons, you can continue now"

Soap laughs nervously.

“Thanks, just adding pizzazz to the story.”

He sighs and continues.

“I’m still hiding behind the tree trying to get away as quickly as possible, I even drop my phone out of my pocket by accident. Still hearing the howling and breathing, but now I hear footsteps of something pacing nearby. All of this is going on for what feels like forever, and then suddenly, I see the two glowing eyes go away, the footsteps stop and the howling dies down entirely.”

You nod, trying to seem interested. In reality you stopped listening a minute ago, trying not to laugh at the picture you're imagining right now.

“And,”

He carries on, leaning forward again with excitement.

“I come out from behind the tree, still expecting to see something. But there’s nothing. It’s just me and the woods.”

Soap sighs and slumps back into his bed, looking up at the ceiling. His eyes are wide open with the excitement of the story still running through him. After a moment, Soap realizes no further questions were asked about his ‘experience’. He chuckles to himself before asking;

“You’re really not even remotely interested in what just happened to me?”

You bite your lip.

"I am, really, it's just..."

You shake your head.

"I have this picture in my mind where you're drinking tea with a wookie..."

You fail to hide another laugh.

Soap groans as he puts his hands on his face.

“Shut up, that’s not even what happened. It was just a crazy event, not sure why you can’t take me seriously,”

He says with a pouty frown.

“and stop bringing up the damn wookiee.”

At his pouty expression you can't help but mock him further.

"Maybe choose a unicorn next time instead of a blood sucking wolf creature"

“You know what, screw you.”

He mutters.

“I’m going to go see if anyone else actually cares enough to listen to me.”

He stands up from the bed and starts walking towards the door.

“I’m sure they’ll appreciate the story more than you.”

You know where he's going and smile, nudging him with your foot.

"you do that. Greet ghost from me while you're at it."

He can't help but smile. You know him so well. He just flips you off before leaving, making sure the door stays open just to annoy you some more...

_____________________________________________

I'd be surprised if anyone reads all that since it's just fluff, but if anyone could draw a picture of soap drinking tea with a wookie I'm gonna die Istg 😭

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

I would love to see headcanons for Posh British Writer Nathaniel and Conspiracy Theorist Southern Artist Marc. Like how they met, stuff they do together, all that jazz.

Marc’s just got this crowcore style with copper and bronze jewelry, he’s always sporting some impressive looking belt buckles, and black thick heel cowboy boots

Nathaniel’s style is more light academia with sweater vests, the occasional uniform ribbon, and he has no backpacks, only fancy messenger bags

Their first meeting was at a cafe about a week before the first day of school

Nathaniel: Ugh. Do you always prop your grotty boots up where people dine?

Marc: Do you always get up in other folks’ business, red?

Nathaniel/Marc: *Intense glaring*

*Later*

Marc: I pity the poor sap who dates that stuck up.

*Meanwhile*

Nathaniel: If I never see that lout again, it will be too soon.

*Cue the first day*

Nathaniel/Marc: What are you doing here?!

Marc gets a kick out of pushing Nathaniel’s buttons by propping his boots up on tables, scribbling a little mothman graffiti on his locker, slipping some curse words into his sentences around him, and making his face turn red by calling him darlin’

Nathaniel just flips his hair in Marc’s face, insults him with cockney British slang, writes “Mothman is Tosh” next to his graffiti in perfect cursive, and surprise attacks him with a comb and hairspray

This goes on for a while until one day, Nathaniel is the first one to snap

Nathaniel: I… Do NOT need this particular brand of unwarranted vitriol from the likes of you!

Marc: Oh, quit talking like you’re the fucking Queen of England! Aaw, too soon?

Nathaniel: You know something, you… You-!

Marc: What? Come on! Spit it out, fancy boy!

*They just glare at each other for a few seconds… And then kiss*

Anyway, Nathaniel’s trying to get Marc to cut back on the curse words and Marc’s trying to convince Nathaniel he doesn’t need to spend an hour combing his hair. “Because you already look perfect, darlin’.”

Nathaniel is Marc’s impulse control, meaning he’s the one thing standing between him and someone getting a boot up the ass… Unless that someone insults Marc in front of him

Nathaniel: … What did you say about my boyfriend? Marc, dearest, hold my pocket watch.

Marc: *As Nathaniel drop kicks some idiot* I got your pocket watch, darlin’.

After a sleepover, Nathaniel stole Marc’s chupacabra hoodie and refuses to give it back

They create a series of graphic novels about four dimension hoppers trying to get back to their dimension and meeting alternate versions of their friends and loved ones along the way

‘Cause in this universe, they aren’t really into superheroes. They just write a bunch of graphic novels with excellent representation

Oh, and Nathaniel’s the jock in the relationship. He plays cricket… ‘Cuz he British

Marc: *Having no idea what’s going on* Yeah, babe! Do the… Whatever the goal of this thing is!

[disappearingmuse]

For the writeblr game: 1, 10, 15! 🦇

what was your writing-highlight this year? what made it special and how will you reflect on it next year?

I haven’t shut up about “Romantic Subtext” getting accepted for publication, which is definitely still my highlight! In terms of how I’ll reflect on it…it’s really taught me to be bolder about submitting my work to big publications.

which character(s) turned out differently from what you had planned? how so?

UHHHH David from the Academic Dishonesty extras. David didn’t even have a name in Academic Dishonesty, he was just Eizen’s made-up ex-boyfriend who is briefly mentioned. But I started calling him “David” in my head, and he started developing as a character in his own right. He was never intended to be a one-note bad ex, but he became a much more nuanced and sympathetic character nonetheless.

time for shameless self-promotion! answer with a piece of writing you want others to see/read! (if you have nothing posted/published this year, any other year is fine too ^^)

My flash fiction “When to Tell Your Date You’re the Chupacabra” came out this year! TBH there are a few minor things I’ve tweaked about it since it’s been published (I hope to publish it again in a collection), but nothing too big that detracts from the experience of the original!

When to Tell Your Date You're the Chupacabra – Over/Exposed Lit

[hotdogjones44]

11-15-23

Surgery was on the 13th and I was terrified. Max came through and gave me some signs that he was there with me, and I brought him and Elvis (my chupacabra) with me. Surgery went very smoothly, and the staff there was so nice. I thanked everyone and begged them to bring in the doctor who did the surgery so I could thank him also. They said usually the patients are grumpy and mean from the pain but I told them I am so grateful for what they did, I'm finally going to have a life without pain and worry. My boyfriend came and stayed the night with me and helped me to the bathroom. It was a painful but nice expression all around. Now I am on bed rest for 2 weeks and I can catch up on my writing. I've been getting lots of amazing crystal pieces which I can't wait for them to arrive so I can utilize them

[samevans-wmu]

As soon as I heard we're jetting off to Mexico I was like YES! Destination vacation! I would've been stoked going to California or even Florida. Mainly any place with a beach. But heading to a country where I only know a handful of words does freak me out some. Nick said he wants to make sure I don't accidentally get engaged while there so he might need to babysit me at some point if I wander off. How's it like having two boyfriends?? You hit the relationship jackpot with those two! Those are legit concerns to have. Does your dad have a way to get a hold of you if you don't have your phone? If you need a back up contact you can totally pass my digits off to him. And hey, anal's good! I've got all my important stuff in a folder and I plan to lock it away in the hotel room safe and share the code with Frannie and my siblings in case el chupacabra abducts me for some reason.

I am! I can't get over we leave at midnight! Spring Break took 8 years to get here. As soon as my last mid term wrapped yesterday afternoon I shut out all things school. And you know what? It felt good.

I swear this trip can’t start soon enough! 😩 How pumped are you for this break?!

Honestly, I'm both terrified and pumped. I haven't traveled out of country before, so that's always exciting to check something off my bucket list. And Mexican coffee is bound to be better. Not to mention the beach?! Being able to sunbathe with my boyfriends? Sign me up. But on the flip side - what happens if there's an emergency with my dad? What happens if there's an emergency with myself?! I swear I've been incredibly anal on making sure I have every bit of paper I might need in case there needs to be a hospital visit from my end or an emergency trip back here. -- BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! Are you pumped, Sam?

[thatonegreenbro]

🤨🤨🤨

(I still love these two I swear they are not forgotten!)

[myboyfriendisachupacabra]

My Boyfriend is a Chupacabra - Page 12

Prev | Next ———-

Should’ve said Open Sesame first, Lalo.

[kerfufflearts]

Was working on an oc that I kinda forgot about. His name is Conrad, and he is half vampire & werewolf, and runs a gang of them. Maybe I'll make a ref sheet for him sometime.

[lost-in-gardener]

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I think your dad's a little bitch. He's not welcome in my house, so we can cook whatever you want... as long as you're not, like, allergic to anything. The only CPR I know how to perform is the kind that one Cupcakke song, and I don't think that would work very well in a medical emergency," they teased, melting a bit into Eric's touch as he tapped on their side and resting their head on top of his. They press a soft kiss to his temple and smile, carefully pressing the side of their leg against his prosthetic and being cautious to avoid putting to much pressure against him.

"And once I learn how to cook, you can be damn sure that I'm gonna make food for you all the time— I'll be dropping off little bento boxes for you at work, and your co-workers will be confused as to whether you have a really handsome girlfriend or a really pretty boyfriend." They giggle at the thought, holding out the piece of cake in their hand to offer Eric a bite. "It might be a little hard to explain that I fistfight chupacabras for a living though. You might have to lie and tell them I'm a stripper or something."

Despite everything, it was real. As he fell asleep in Finns arms, woke up in the same spot, and even got a ride back to pick up his things from their car still in the bars parking lot. All of it was reality. Work didn’t seem abhorrent, managing to keep his head up for the next two days. Derek loses his mind at the mess left behind from the banshee, but doesn’t blame Eric. Making some half spoken comment of how everything was on him.

Not a single thing appears out of the corners of his vision, nothing shrieks and nothing tries to push shelves over. Peaceful as it could get in the entire warehouse. It’s not as sunshiny as he wanted, or in comparison to his time with Finn. Still on the receiving end of Derek’s screaming, hiding away in the closest closet he can find. All too loud, and all too much.

Driving in early on Friday, he waits in the car until they arrive. Dressing up as nicely as he could, and hoping they don’t notice the tiny patterns over his dress shirt aren’t multicoloured dinosaurs. The picnic packed and sat in his lap, nervously tapping his feet.

Finn had barely even begun to process that they were going to be going on a semi-normal date with Eric until they drove up to the warehouse and saw him waiting for them with the picnic basket. It had been ages since they'd put the effort into anything beyond a quick fling or a one-night stand, but Eric was definitely fucking worth it. He was sweet, handsome, kind, unfathomably adorable, and Finn was so fucking that he'd still wanted to go on the date with them. As soon as they had dropped him off that morning, she couldn't keep from gleefully punching their car seat and stimming along with the music they blasted in their house while spending the entire week mentally preparing for the date.

Today, they were wearing something much more suited to their normal style. An ancient t-shirt from highschool with a faded image of the 'Pretty, Odd' album on it; it had the sleeves and the sides of the t-shirt cut off, showing off the muscles in their arms and waist alongside the sides of the crisp white bra that they'd worn underneath. They were also wearing a pair of dark torn jeans that were held up by a studded black belt, along with a matching choker and platforms that made them stand just a few inches taller than they normally did. She couldn't help but put on a little bit of eyeliner as well, wanting to really impress Eric for their first date.

They pull into the parking lot, tapping excitedly on their steering wheel and perking up at the sight of Eric. Goddamn it, he looked way too fucking cute in his date outfit. They drive up next to him and roll down their window, giving him a big goofy grin and wolf-whistling. "Hiya, hot stuff!" they greet through the window, clearly teasing from the overly affectionate look in their eyes.

[vanitatumvanitas]

hey tumblr do you want to give me any recommendations for cryptid stickers for my laptop

[incorrectbatfam]

Could you do the batfam as the TITLES of AITAs from redit (no context)?

For this who don't know, AITA stands for Am I The Asshole, a Reddit forum where people post about things they've done and let the internet judge whether or not they were the asshole.

Dick: AITA for making our guests participate in our puppet themed wedding?

Jason: AITA for wearing a wedding dress to my brother's wedding?

Tim: AITA for returning a litterer's trash to him at work?

Damian: AITA for "stealing" ducks from small children?

Duke: AITA for pretending to be an "Appletarian" (eating only apple derived foods/drinks) for 3 weeks as a prank, causing my friends to have an intervention for me?

Cullen: AITA for throwing away my boyfriend's potentially illegal yogurt collection?

Stephanie: AITA for calling my friend an idiot for wanting a maternity test?

Cassandra: AITA for being pissed off at my girlfriend for licking ALL the Oreos?

Barbara: AITA for giving all my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?

Harper: AITA for pretending to get fired when customers get a temper with me?

Carrie: AITA because I use my lacrosse skills for evil?

Kate: AITA for teaching my niece to say "el chupacabra" when her mom says "you know what really gets my goat?"

Alfred: AITA for not balding?

Selina: AITA for not taking in my BIL who peed on my stuff and blamed my cat?

Bruce: AITA for using my "theatre voice" to scare my friend's annoying neighbor?

[theskywaslookingback]

Not including “Live Laugh Lurk” because I know it’s one I’m going to use, I want to gauge interest on the others

[bee-supporter]

almost all of the people in my contacts are named after cryptids (and, in one case, a deadly disease) and i dread the day i have to explain to my mom why her name in my phone is "mongolian death worm"