#My apology video will be up on youtube shortly

[not-the-organ]

u csnt say scromble dorp bro thats offensive

I’m sorry I didn’t know!!

[neos127]

enhypen hyung line x gn!reader | #youtube!!

different types of videos you make with the boys genre. hcs, non idol au, established relationship for some & fluff!! wc. 1.2k cw. just some cursing

heeseung

“he has no idea what he’s doing.” you giggled with every word, watching as you boyfriend’s eyebrows furrowed with each makeup product he pulled out of your bag. being a popular makeup youtube channel, you wanted to try something new.

you had seen many girls have their boyfriend do their makeup and with a grin more sly than a cheshire cat, you quickly called up your man with a video idea.

heeseung was more than happy to film a video with you (mostly to show your one million subscribers how much he loved you). heeseung had seen the way male fans talked about you on twitter, he was excited to finally show everyone that you were his.

“why do you have so many lip products?” he asked, his expression showing that he was clearly baffled. heeseung made you giggle quite often, but you really couldn’t contain the laughter constantly spilling from your mouth.

“you can add some highlighter now, hee.” you spoke up once you had finally calmed down. heeseung nodded, grateful for a hint on what to do next. he rummaged through the makeup bag, happy once he found a small round container that said ‘highlighter’. he picked it up eagerly, the quickness of his fingers trying to wrap around the item caused him to accidentally drop it.

you gasped as the highlighter cracked and spilled onto the ground, looking up at heeseung who looked extremely guilty. his round doe eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape as he observed the small mess on the floor.

“i’m so sorry…” he mumbled, dramatically covering his mouth in shock. you began to laugh once more, finding your boyfriend’s reaction to be adorable.

comments:

y/nloveees — they are so cute omg!!

angelbabie — heeseung loves y/n so much you can just tell

strawberryshortcake — pls bring heeseung back for more vids!!

jay

“you sure this recipe doesn’t call for cutting anything?” jay asked, observing your blindfolded face with an amused expression. the two of you decided to film a video on jay’s account shortly after publicly announcing your relationship. he often did cooking videos and you had suggested doing a blindfolded cooking challenge with him.

“ok hand me the apples.” you said after getting through the first part of making the pie. jay tried to keep his giggles to a minimum, observing the mess that was supposed to be apple pie.

he placed a bowl of previously cut slices in front of you, watching as you fumbled around the bowl and pick up a piece.

“ugh, i should’ve cut them more…it’s too big.” you sighed, reaching out for jay to ask if he could cut them again for you. but while reaching out for him, you accidentally smacked the man in the face, causing you both to go into a fit of laughter. you apologized multiple times, lifting your blindfold up so you could finally see your boyfriend.

you grabbed jay’s face, placing a light kiss below his eyes where you accidentally scratched him. jay blushed at the affection, already knowing that he was going to keep the small moment in the video.

comments:

jayjayparks — aw y/n is so cute!!

0x1lovesongs — jay being so worried for her the whole time…my heart

givenxtakennn — CUTE!! y/n kissing jay’s ‘injury’ and him blushing oh im giggling

jake

“remember, don’t curse.” you warned the man sitting next to you, already giggling at the idea of joining voice chat in roblox. jake nodded, pretending to zip his mouth shut as the game loaded. you and jake were popular for playing games, mostly streaming on twitch but you often posted on youtube because you liked vlogging. you decided that playing roblox with jake would be a fun video idea, especially since your subscribers liked you two together after he appeared in a ‘day in my life’ video.

“why is this dude following me.” jake whined as soon as the game had fully loaded. he moved your character around, trying to run away from the random player who decided to terrorize him.

“your voice is weird.” the player replied, sounding as if he couldn’t be any older than thirteen. jake’s jaw dropped while you began laughing hysterically, smacking the boy on his hoodie clad arm.

“go do your homework.” jake shot back, trying to move away from the player once more.

“go do my mom.” the kid replied, a very obvious young boy remark but you ended up giggling anyways. especially since jake seemed so offended.

“what the fuck.” jake laughed, making you gasp and slap a hand over his mouth.

“i said no cursing!” you scolded him, waiting for a few seconds to see if you two would be banned from the game. when nothing popped up, you both breathed a sigh of relief.

“sorry that was my bad—” jake spoke up, stoping his sentence short when a pop up appeared on the screen. your profile had been banned for using voice chat for a few minutes.

“jake!” you groaned dramatically, slumping onto his shoulder. jake began to laugh, leaning his head on yours.

“i’m sorryyyyy y/nnnnnn.”

comments:

ikeuismz — the chemistry…can i be y/n??

angelluv — this video was chaotic until the end I NEED MORE

10monthsluv — ouuuu the flirting…

sunghoon

being very popular on youtube for your traveling vlogs and ‘a day in my life’ videos, you wanted to introduce your boyfriend in one of them. you had mentioned to your followers that you were starting university in korea but never mentioned that you also had a boyfriend of one year that you were excited to see again.

sunghoon was a very private person and at first didn’t want to show his face in your videos. you respected his privacy, blurring his face out when the two of you hung out together with friends whenever you happened to be in seoul. but upon your recent visit, sunghoon agreed to be in your video, wanting to show off his relationship with you to the world.

“so…you guys don’t know this but…i actually have a boyfriend here that i’m meeting up with today. he’s a private person so he didn’t want to be shown on camera before but today he finally decided to say ‘hi’ to you guys.” you explained to your camera as you approached sunghoon’s apartment.

when you knocked on the door sunghoon’s roommate, jake, answered. he gave you a hug and welcomed you back before telling you that sunghoon was in his room.

after reuniting with your boyfriend and hugging him tightly for about ten minutes, you turned your camera back on.

“this is sunghoon, everyone! we met about three years ago when i first visited korea and we’ve been together for over a year now.” you introduced the boy, watching as he shyly smiled and waved at the screen.

the idea of over a million of your subscribers seeing his face was a bit scary, but sunghoon was ready for show the world that he was your boyfriend. seeing men hit on you in your comments irked him a bit— he just had to show them who your heart belonged to.

“he’s a little shy so please show him lots of love.” you giggled, cupping his chin.

“we’re going to eat now…guys. so come with us as we…do that.” sunghoon said awkwardly, sending the camera a thumbs up and tight lipped smile. you began to laugh at the cute boy which caused him to laugh as well, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

“you heard hoon, let’s go eat.”

comments:

sweetxvenom — SO CUTE!! i need more of y/n and sunghoon!

sweety/n — aw he’s so shy how cute :(

lovelysky — you look so happy with him i’m so happy for you!!

taglist; @boyfhee @junityy @aenify @iilwji @catzisb1og (ask to be added!)

[green-alien-turdz]

Hi, I know its been a minute n I don't really like that there is like one or two posts between this n my last 'i'm still alive' post. I'm sorry. I wanted to say thank you to everyone in general, but also the mfs who said some nice ass shit to me. Sorry I said some concernin ass shit n just dipped, that was pretty fucked. I never really had people care like all the people on here, so I ain't too used to havin to be more careful with the shit I do n say.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words, concern, n care. Comin back to see all of it made my fuckin heart melt. I know I'm just some dumbass postin south park shit on tumblr, but you guys are genuinely the most amazin mfs I've ever encountered. To the people who were in my inbox askin if I was still alive, I sincerely apologize for causin any stress or concern, it's not my intention. You guys are the sweetest people, and I'm sorry for doin that. I should prolly stop bein as vocal about bein so fucked, but I also like to be honest n I like sharin this shit bcuz I know mfs be goin through the same shit n bein alone in it feels fuckin awful majority of the time.

I am not well. I am doin very bad actually. There's a chance imma be forcefully medicated in the near future. Which is weird bcuz I used to always want that, I wanted to be fixed, but now I'm not sure for like a TON of reasons. One, ion wanna be changed (in a sense). If the meds take away or dull core aspects of myself, I will lose it further than I have already. Two, my parents raised me to never trust doctors or medicine, etc. Even though I do think modern medicine is a great thing, I still have my fears bcuz of how I was raised. Three, I fear the fuck outta what I will do. I know they warn that adjustment periods n shit like that can make things worse- but I literally cannot get any worse. If I do, I know I will not come out alive. Which bleeds into reason four, which is that I know, at some point, I would try n overdose. Handin me such a quick n thoughtless way to just end it is like the worst fuckin thing they could do. But whatever. Ion even know when it's gonna happen, all I know is that ion got a choice. Like, I'm pretty sure it's a situation that, if I don't comply, imma be locked tf up.

Uhh minor update shit- my cat came back home after almost a month of bein fuckin somewhere. She came back skinny, dirty, n sick, but she is slowly recoverin n I've never been more thankful. ED is still kickin my ass, but I'm forcin myself to at least have a fuckin soup I made bcuz I can't get shit done at work if I keep faintin or gettin injured. I have little to no time to do shitfuck, but still do random shit periodically before or after work. I actually redid my dresser n made some stupid ass video about the handles that I might post to youtube if I quit bein a pussy about it.

I haven't been drawin my fanart as of late- but I do want to. Imma focus on doin the requests I have bcuz I wanna give back the best I can. You guys stick with me through thick n thin. I thank you all so much. I'm sorry I'm always MIA. So my posts for a little bit are gonna be the requests n answerin all of my inbox. Ion know how long it'll take, but hopefully it won't get borin. I genuinely love makin things. I love drawin the shit I do n people findin some sort of connection to their lives or themselves. I just want people to feel less alone, less ugly, less whatever the fuck you feel. Each n every one of ya is fuckin amazin, so please don't forget it.

Imma stfu now. But I hope you guys have a good rest of your day or night or eternity. I'll be back to postin shortly, thank you for stickin with this shit show

[cloverque]

paper heart (prosciutto)

masterlist, ch 1: panic at the gala

shortly after you were assigned the mission, giorno cordially invited you to a gala. seeing as how you'll be away from the group for a while, you decided to take part, just this time.

5174 words

After we moisturise, the next step is to apply sunscreen. I use this brand from Dior– the latest Diorsnow sunscreen with UV protection!

You sat on your bathroom counter, swinging your feet. With a Youtube video playing on your phone, you gently patted sunscreen into your face. The girl in the video– a young lady with rich pink hair– showcased a white tube. Yours sat on your lap while other products were scattered on the counter.

I'm a huge fan of this brand. I always buy their best sellers and give them to my best friends.

You smiled knowingly. As the girl on the screen rambled, you began touching up on your face. Just the bare minimum, seeing as how you were already late.

During your meeting with Giorno, which occurred a week ago, he invited you to a party he was hosting. He had handed you a formal invitation, like always: a letter stamped with a wax seal. To attend or not to attend– you sat on the fence until the last minute.

When he first took over, you happily turned up for his gala. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened that day, but you swore off the rest ever since. The reason was simple: you didn't want to work overtime. When you showed up, you quickly realised you had to socialise with coworkers outside usual office hours.

Rest was important! How else would you stay in tip top shape? So there was no way you would sacrifice your precious down-time over fancy parties. Even if they were hosted by Don Giovanna.

So what implored you to accept his invite? Soon you would be deployed for your mission; possibly far from home for a while. With that in mind, you wanted to hang out with your friends for a bit. But besides that, there was another driving factor. You stared at your reflection, stroking your lashes with mascara.

Curiosity, it was curiosity.

"I'd like you to be there. There's... Someone I'd like you to meet," he said that day. He pushed the envelope towards you with a faint smile.

You took it in your hands and blinked. "An important person?"

He fiddled with the ladybug brooch on his chest. A faint tinge of red dusted his cheeks. With a solemn nod, he planted a seed of curiosity in your mind. You never knew he was capable of being abashed.

"I wonder who he's talking about," you pondered as you checked your work. What kind of person were they for him to make that sort of look?

A knock on your bathroom door derailed your train of thought. "(y/n), you've been in there for an hour. What's taking you so long?"

"Oh, Fugo," You carefully swept a balm against your lips. "You should know by now not to rush a lady. Especially when she's in the bathroom."

"Give me a break. I've been standing here waiting like an idiot for thirty minutes."

"Some gentleman you are..." You muttered begrudgingly. It was him who volunteered to chaperone you to the party in the first place.

After his redemption– when he defeated the Narcotics Team for Giogio– he managed to tone it down a notch. The therapy he sought worked out too. His anger management issues had gotten better, but there was still a limit to his patience. And once that figurative thread broke, it would take more than apologies to placate him.

With that in mind, you hopped off the counter. You took one last look in the mirror. Tonight you were dressed in a satin backless dress. Its spaghetti-thin straps criss crossed behind, showing your supple back. The dress also had a side slit that teased your thighs. To complete the look, a silk shawl draped over your shoulders and around your arms.

Your outfit was a perfect mix between sexy and chic. A smile crept up your face and you blew a kiss at your reflection. Feeling like you could take on the world (and a furious Fugo), you were about to leave when you jumped up.

"Ah! I almost forgot," you chuckled and picked up the pin on the counter. It was a hair pin, a metallic accessory fashioned into a unique heart shape. You clipped it onto your hair and hurried out the door.

Standing outside was none other than Pannacotta Fugo, dressed in a custom tuxedo. His hair was pushed back, with a few strands hanging over his knitted brows. The strawberry blonde had his arms crossed, fingers tapping impatiently on his bicep.

"Are you finally done?" He muttered through clenched teeth.

"Gee, thanks for waiting," You rolled your eyes and walked past him. He trembled with frustration, and you almost felt bad. Tardiness was one of his biggest pet peeves, and for him to be late, without meaning too... Well, you had better head out, fast!

You swiftly packed your purse and the two of you left your apartment. At the entrance awaited a squeaky clean limousine. Fugo settled into a seat across from you, muttering about how embarrassingly unpunctual he was. You glanced out the window and as the car's engine revved to life again, you began to drown him out. The car picked up speed and zoomed to its destination: Giorno's mansion.

✶

By the time you arrived, it was nearly ten. An hour had passed since it had started. The car stopped outside the mansion's grand gates. An armed guard approached the driver's side and after a swift identification check, he opened the gate and the car pulled into the front yard. The chauffeur stopped the limousine outside the front door, where a pair of butlers stood. Wordlessly, they opened the doors for you and Fugo, and led you two up the stairs and into the mansion.

A red carpet was rolled out in the hallway. Sculptures, marble heads and oil paintings lined the walls, archaic pieces that Giorno attained for who-knows-how-many lire. Soft music lingered in the air whilst you began your ascend up a flight of stairs.

The long, winding staircase led the two of you to the second floor, which was decorated with more relics of the past. A few guests stood idly in the hallways, talking in hushed whispers. A couple swayed drunkenly beside a portrait of Don Giovanna. A glass of wine jangled from each of their hands. Hopefully they would not splash it on the painting.

After twisting and turning in the hallway, you finally found the source of the music. Another pair of butlers opened the doors for your friend and you.

The once muffled tunes converted to melodious harmonies, courtesy of a live orchestra. Violins, cellos and brass instruments and a piano were at their disposal. Situated on one end, they played a classical piece. On another side was a buffet spread, with cakes and delicacies a group of women were fawning over. You were soon to be one of them.

In the center people chatted idly while some danced to the lovely music. You caught sight of Mista, chatting with a lady in earnest. He was free of his sweater and instead dressed in a wonderful three piece suit. As for Giogio, who stood by the gunslinger, he was clad in stunning white and gold, wearing a soft primrose pink dress shirt. His long hair fell in voluminous waves behind him.

You searched the group they were with. Everybody maintained a fair amount of distance from each other. Which one of them was his special somebody?

You were about to greet them when your companion grabbed you by the end of your shawl. Fugo lifted up a finger, "I have some business to attend to, so I'll be back later. Remember, if you want to leave let me know. I will accompany you back, you hear me?"

You pried your accessory from him and rolled your eyes. "Yessir. See you later, sir."

The strawberry blonde exhaled, possibly from annoyance. He disappeared into the crowd and you gazed over at the dessert table. You visibly gasped and placed your hand over your heart.

It was radiant! In your sights were numerous three-tiered stands. An assortment of fairy cakes, with different frosting and toppings sparkled and shone on the stands. You licked your lips and rubbed your hands together, all goblin-like.

"Hehe... You can tell me about your special someone later, Giogio. Right now it's chow time!"

. . .

"Are you ladies seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Indeed... How can she pig out during such an elegant event like this?"

"The real question is how did she end up here in the first place?"

You turned to the women standing a few feet away. Just like you, they were dressed elegantly in gowns you saw on fashion runways. You chewed on your tenth fairy cake.

Even under your watchful gaze, they continued with their not-so inconspicuously whispers. You blinked innocently.

Rosa Romano. Caro Bianchi. Helen Bellomo. Daughters of high-ranking officials in Passione.

Rosa, the first born of Capo Romano. He dabbled in the gambling sector, a notable stand user. But unlike her father, she had not inherited a stand. Caro Bianchi. Born out of wedlock, her parents were faded aristocrats. They had history with the group, before Giorno took over. Also not a stand user. And Helen, daughter of a tycoon. Her family and her were sworn members of the gang. None of which were stand users.

In short, they were nothing to be concerned about. And from their ignorance, they didn't know you were part of the Passione's Escort Team. Excellent.

You finished the last of your cake and began on another. As you ate, you tuned them out and focused on the rich creamy treats. It mattered not how others perceived you, so long as you were happy. And with nothing but years of successful missions under your name, not even the Boss had a right to deny you of sugary, gastronomic delights.

"I can't believe you're actually here! You, who stays away from all of the Don's parties. Who would've thought?"

You blinked and a woman came into view. A familiar face had appeared. Fifty-something, the woman had her silver hair in 1940's waves. She wore a vintage cocktail dress, with matching elbow length gloves. A unique heart-shaped mole rested above her cupid's bow.

Your eyes lit up in recognition, "Signora Lucia?! Capo, I–"

"Nuh-uh! Today I'm not your Capo, my dear." She put a gloved finger to your lips. You fluttered your lashes, cross-eyed as you looked at her finger. She smiled cheekily. "Tonight I'm just a regular old lady."

You tilted your head, confused. She waved a waiter down and cherry-picked a glass of wine.

This lady here was none other than the Escort Team's capable leader– Signora Lucia. She was an aged and loyal member of Passione, and had served as the team's chief for years. Even during the period when you betrayed the old boss, Diavolo.

Giorno managed to trick everyone into thinking he had always been their leader, but you suspected Signora Lucia knew better. But even if she did, her loyalty never wavered. She was just as dedicated to her new Don just as she was to her first. And she was benevolent to you when you became branded as a traitor, later accepting you back with open arms.

Signora Lucia is a strange person. Even I have a hard time guessing what she's thinking half the time... You ruminated.

Gingerly swirling its contents, she gazed at you through hooded eyes. "This gala is swarming with the rich. I'm guessing today's a special occasion."

Your eyes flicked to the group of girls, still standing nearby. "Now that you mentioned it, there's also an unusually high number of women present today. I wonder if something's up."

With that in mind, you scanned the crowds for Giorno and Mista. They were preoccupied with another group of people, though this time a lady was between them. Her arm was looped around the blonde's, a dazzling hair pin in her bun. She wore an elegant cheongsam, and like her dress, you guessed she was from the East.

Who is she? She wasn't there a few moments ago. Could she be another woman Giorno has bagged tonight? Geez, talk about suave.

You looked down at your plate, piled with stacks of paper cups. The trio from earlier were now looking in your friend's direction. Like you, they ruminated over the unknown stranger attached to him. Subconsciously, your eye twitched. Signora Lucia took a tentative sip of her wine, watching you.

"I need some fresh air," You whispered to yourself. Leaving your Capo behind, you made your way to one of the many balconies in the room.

When nobody was looking, you pushed open the door just enough to slip through. You quietly closed it behind you and approached the railing. Leaning against the cold stone, your gaze instantly fell on the courtyard below. Even in the darkness of night you could see a table, the only furniture in sight. You and your friends would enjoy tea parties on that same table, sharing snacks and stories with one another.

An image of a certain blonde, smiling, swiftly surfaced in your mind. An unknown sadness bloomed in your heart. You already knew what it was, but you didn't understand why.

When did these feelings start? You weren't sure. They certainly weren't there when you first met him; back at the hideout in the vineyard many years back. Nor was it when he saved you from the persistent stand in the plane to Sardinia.

A gentle breeze tousled your tresses. Gently, you tucked some hair behind your ear. "Maybe I don't actually like him. Maybe I'm mixing up admiration with this."

Crrk...

The doors creaked open and you turned around. A man slowly stepped onto the balcony. He was dressed in beige and cream hues, a tweed jacket hanging over his broad shoulders. Champagne yellow hair was waxed back neatly, secured in little notches tied behind his head. A cigarette rested between his lips.

"Oh, I didn't know this place was already taken," His voice was a deep rumble. He held the little stick between his fingers. "Do you mind?"

"No, not at all," You gestured at the space around you. "There's room for more."

He joined you, back pressed against the stone balustrade. With a fancy little lighter, he lit up his cigarette. The blonde man took a long drag before puffing out a cloud of smoke. The scent of tobacco was sure to cling to your clothes, even if you kept your distance. Its dark tendrils began billowing in the balcony. Silently, the two of you stood together, watching the stars twinkle.

You knew who he was, and perhaps he knew who you were too. But your objective today was to find out who Giogio's special someone was, not to exchange formalities with him. You opted to stay quiet until he spoke up.

"I overestimated the crowd today," he muttered, and you glanced at him. His brows were knitted together, fingers in a little v-sign as he held the cigarette. "The last party wasn't as busy as this one."

"It's been a few years since I last attended, so I can't comment," you half-heartedly stated.

He raised a singular brow, "A few years, huh? Hm. I believe I've never seen you before. Is this our first meeting?"

You crossed your arms on the railing and glanced up at him. A finger rested on your lips as you exhaled nonchalantly. "Who knows? But I know who you are. You're an assassin from La Squadra Esecuzioni."

Quiet resumed between you and the man. Without warning, the man swiftly crushed the cig against the stone. You straightened up slowly, holding his gaze. He was a man of average height, a head taller than you. He glared down at you as you peered up at him indifferently.

"Should I be worried about you, signora?"

"'I'm nothing more than what you actually see, but I am also the complete opposite.' A famous singer, Keren Ann, once said that," You answered, crossing your arms. The tails of your shawl fluttered in the cold breeze. An unassuming smile graced your lips.

"With that said, please decide that yourself, signore Prosciutto."

"Ahem. I hope I'm not interrupting something."

You froze at the sound of a familiar, buttery voice. Your face fell as you slowly turned. Giorno stood at the entrance, his brows furrowed in uncertainty. The lady from before stared curiously at you and Prosciutto. Your eyes fell on their intertwined arms.

"Giogio," you cleared your throat. Why were you suddenly feeling restless? You fiddled with your purse. "Um, no. You're not interrupting anything."

You ignored Prosciutto's questioning gaze as he side-eyed you. Giorno visibly relaxed and he smiled faintly.

"I'm glad that you could make it. Fugo told me a while ago that the two of you had arrived safely, but I was busy attending to some guests. Forgive me."

"Yeah, you were real busy back there, huh?" You teased half-heartedly before swallowing. "So um, who's this beautiful lady over here?"

He gestured to the both of you, "Let me introduce you two. This is (y/n l/n), a close friend of mine. She's like family."

You placed a hand on your chest and bowed slightly, lowering your head. These were pretentious formalities, but you didn't want to embarrass the head of Passione. Your nails dug into your dress discreetly.

"And this lovely lady here is–"

An awful sound cut him off. Screams of terror filled the ballroom and you peered past them. Your eyes widened, the sea of people were moving in different directions all at once. A familiar friend shoved past a couple and burst into the balcony.

"Fugo!" Giorno met him halfway. His voice was steady yet demanding. "Tell me what's happening, quickly."

"It's a stand attack! We need to evacuate everyone, Giogio." He panted, gripping his arm. Something pitter pattered onto the floor, and you realised Fugo was bleeding.

A gunshot rang out, and you hoped it was Mista firing. Giorno laid a hand on Fugo's arm, and his stand materialised beside him. A golden glow surrounded his wounded appendage, and you glanced over to the lady beside the guys, looking lost like a lamb in the wilderness.

More screams erupted and you whipped your head around. Fugo sucked in a pained breath and gritted his teeth. "We have to do something about these people. Most of them aren't even stand users– they're defenseless!"

"That's where I come in," you held Giorno and Fugo's confused gazes. Conviction shone in your eyes. "There's no time to evacuate, so I'll be taking them to safety myself."

Passione's Don nodded solemnly. He placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it. "I'm counting on you." You nodded and Fugo and him rushed into the fray.

Prosciutto and the lady remained with you and you turned to them. "This is gonna get freaky, so stick close to me." Obediently, they shuffled close as you opened your purse. You fished out a notepad, one of the many you kept within your little bag. With a flip of your wrist, you whipped it open.

"Paper Heart!" A (colour) aura enveloped you and the heart-shaped pin in your hair. The metal eroded away and became an origami-like texture. "Transport all the guests into this piece of paper!"

Fwoop!

The three of you were sucked into the notepad. It fell onto the ground and began changing its form to a paper heart, shaped much like your hairpin. Transported into a realm of blank whiteness, you stood among a horde of confused and panicked people. With a quick head count, you estimated about a hundred or so were present.

The three women from the desert table stood together, clinging to each other. They were almost pitiful with their panicked rambling. You cupped your hands and bellowed, "Don't worry, the Boss will take care of things from here. I've brought you to a secure place, the enemy can't come here. You're safe now!"

Heaves of relief filled the space. Luckily most in Passione knew what a stand was.. So it took little brain cells to put two and two together. You gazed up at the blank ceiling.

"So you're a stand user," Prosciutto drawled. You had forgotten the man existed in the heat of the moment. He glanced around, curiously. "Interesting."

You chose not to respond. Crossing your arms, you stood quietly, thinking. Only you could allow a person to enter and leave this paper realm. Even if somebody discovered the paper heart in the balcony, there was no possible way to enter. And if they ripped the paper to shreds, Paper Heart would transport everyone to one of the many notebooks stashed away in your purse.

As for what laid beyond this world, you had willed for Giorno and his personal guards to remain. Mista and Fugo included. Your stand wasn't the confrontational type, unlike theirs. Hoping this was enough, you looked up at the colourless ceiling.

A bead of sweat slid down your cheek. You wiped it away and realised your pulse had spiked. You held a hand over your chest. Transporting this many people at once was taxing on you, a feat you just recklessly pulled off.

Good grief, what fools would challenge the boss during an event of such a large scale? You sighed. It was a good thing you chose to attend the party.

"Um, I hate to be that one person... But what's happening, (l/n)?" The lady in the cheongsam muttered. She gazed around curiously and frantically. "Where's Giorno...?"

You watched her from your peripheral. Based on her concern, you figured she was a non-stand user. It wouldn't make sense if you shared your stand ability–not like you wanted to– to a complete stranger, even if she was close to Giorno. That was a secret, like your identity. So you decided against it.

"He's probably neutralising the enemy as we speak. He'll be fine. But, uh, are you feeling okay?"

She nodded meekly, and you breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing you'd want was for her to be hurt. She seemed like someone special, after all.

Wait, hold that thought...

"Miss," she turned to you with her big doe eyes. You swallowed nervously and pointed a finger, "Could you be... His–"

A shrill scream pierced the air. You whipped your head around as your heart pounded anxiously. A beady-eyed man held a woman in a headlock, his bicep rippling underneath his suit as he choked her. She squirmed against him, raking his arms. The other guests were pressed against the walls of Paper Heart, trembling like mice cornered by a cat.

He's one of them...!?

You reached out and he spun to you, pointing a gun. A Beretta, standard police edition. Squinting your eyes, you lowered your arms.

"I'm guessing you're one of those freaks with abilities!" He practically dragged the lady with him. The thug stood face to face with you, so close that you could feel his lukewarm breath. "I'm taking her hostage. I have no clue in hell where I am, but I wancha ta bring me back ta my buddies."

He pressed the barrel against the lady's head. Tears streamed down her makeup-caked face. Mascara smudged against her wide eyes. He sported a shit-eating grin as you frowned. "If ya try anything funny, I'll blow her brains out, ya hear?"

"P-Please... Help..." croaked his victim. Now that you were up close, you realised it was Rosa, Capo Romano's daughter. You bit your lip.

Was her father not here today? Where was a powerful stand user when you needed one? The fear in everyone's faces told you everything you needed to know: you were alone. Clenching her fist, you narrowed your eyes.

I need a plan. But what do I do?

You looked around for ideas and when you met the eyes of the guests, they screamed pleas of help with just their stares alone. You locked eyes with the Eastern lady too, and she was gazing at you with hope and anticipation.

You inhaled deeply and tried to gather your thoughts. The man hollered about something in the background as you began drowning him out.

Don't forget, you have the upper hand here. This is your world and stand ability, after all.

"Fine. I'll take you out. But first, I have a question for you," You placed a hand on your hip and pointed at him, jutting your chin out. "Tell me. Do you wipe yourself after a dump, or are you the kinda guy to use the bidet?"

The man cocked an unkempt brow. He bared his teeth, "Huh?! What the hell are you asking, bitch?!"

A barrage of his saliva and spit landed on your dress. You wiped it away and frowned. "C'mon, just answer the question," You tilted your head mockingly.

He hesitated before rolling his eyes, "I wipe myself after, duh. I don't like the feeling of water on my ass– Huh?"

The thug glanced around, gun in hand. He looked under his arm questioningly; his hostage had disappeared. Everybody else had too. Then he realised he was in a toilet cubicle.

"W-Where am I?!"

"You're slow. Slow to realise the predicament you're in, I mean."

Your eyes met his as you stood at full height before him. He, who was stuck on the surface of toilet paper, squirmed in his confines. He pounded his fist against the tissue. However, as if he was trapped behind a concrete wall, the paper refused to give way. The man began sweating profusely.

"You conniving woman! I told you to bring me back to my friends!"

You smiled sweetly and lowered yourself to eye level with your tiny captive. "Did you forget what I said?" Your orbs darkened as your lips thinned.

"I said I'd take you out myself."

He hollered profanities as you began unrolling the toilet paper. With a bundle in your hand, you crunched it into a ball and tossed it into the toilet bowl. Wordlessly, you flushed the man down. His garbled curses faded out and disappeared.

You walked out of the cubicle and washed your hands. Paper Heart allowed you to utilise anything as long as it was a form of paper. From bamboo paper, recycled sheets, newspapers... Teleporting from one source to another was child's play– and for those that remained in the paper realm, they were bound to it forever.

"That's what you get for thinking a woman is an easy target." You mumbled before summoning yourself back into the previous realm.

People fussed over Romano's daughter, who had coughed up a storm since you left her. A nasty bruise had formed itself around her neck. A cut traced her nape too. Everyone parted for you, and you kneeled beside her. She gazed at you with gratitude, a far different expression from your first encounter earlier.

"Thank you for saving my life. I don't know how you did it, but thank you..."

You managed a smile. As you rummaged through your purse, you took another notepad and ripped out a page. Carefully, you placed it over her cut. Like a regular bandaid, you plastered it to her skin. It gently fizzed into her skin, and the fleshy part of the wound was overlaid with paper.

She tenderly held her neck and you stood up. People rushed to help her to her feet, and you stepped aside. Suddenly, you heard a squeaky voice echo around you.

"(y/n), you're in there, right?" A hiccup followed after. You knowingly smiled. It was Number Five, one of Mista's Sex Pistols. "Mista and the others have dealt with the enemies! You can bring everyone out now."

"Roger, will do." You responded before turning to the guests. "We're busting out of here, everyone! Make sure not to leave anything behind. Once we leave this world, anything that remains will vanish."

You counted to ten and the pin on your hair glowed brightly. Everybody shimmered out of the notepad and returned to their original places. Your heels clacked against the balcony floor, along with the Eastern lady and Prosciutto. She leaned against the railing, cross eyed and with wobbly knees. The guests held their heads in their hands, groaning.

The after effects of entering and leaving the paper realm gave most people vertigo, but you overcame this ages ago. You expected the same wooziness from the champagne blonde hitman but to your surprise, he was perfectly fine. You held his gaze, confused. Was he a stand user all along?

An irk mark formed as your eye twitched. Then why the hell did you not help out earlier? Maybe this was his way of payback for my snarkiness earlier... Ugh. You clenched your teeth.

With a sharp exhale, you turned away and searched for your notepad. It had morphed back into a regular block of paper after everyone left it, and dusted it clean. Your hairpin had returned to its previous appearance as well. You slipped the notepad into your purse when a dishevelled Giorno burst into the balcony.

Running past you, he enveloped the lady in a hug and squeezed her. She disappeared in his larger frame, her lithe arms wrapped around his back halfway. The sight would've been funny if it weren't for the jealousy brewing in your chest.

After he got his fill of her, he turned to you. Gratitude shone in his viridescent gaze. "Thank you for protecting my fiancé, (y/n). You did well."

Your mouth slipped open as you gaped in shock. With your eyes shifting from him to her, to her to him, your mouth hung open silently. An ugly bitterness bubbled within your stomach, threatening to spill out of your oesophagus. Its claws raked into your heart, a stinging pain growing within.

Smile. Do it for him, a voice chastised you, and you snapped your mouth shut and smiled. You smiled brightly, so radiantly as if your heart didn't shatter into millions of fragments like glass.

"Your fiancé? Oh man, that's crazy!" You exclaimed as your insides grew numb. With a hand behind your head, you guffawed. "So she's the one you wanted me to meet all along! I guess I should've known, silly me."

"I hope it's not too sudden. I meant to tell you but the right moment never arose," Giorno looked apologetic. Was that a faint blush on his cheeks?

The blonde and his partner exchanged looks: they were beaming. You mustered your courage, but your heart was cold and your fingers dug into your palms. With all of the goodness in your heart, you bowed once more and spoke softly.

"Congratulations, Don Giovanna and... La Madrina."

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️ AnalyzGolden's Reactions To Disventure Camp Season 1: All Eliminations, Plot Twists, Etc. *Merge COMPILATION* ☀️

This Post is compilation of my reactions to Disventure Camp's Eliminations, Plot Twists, & Overall Big Moments.

For those of my followers who don't know, Disventure Camp is an independent animated YouTube show by OddNation Cartoons, that originated as a Total Drama fanfiction.

But due to legal stuff (Fresh TV HATES it when fan stuff of their shows get attention), they found a way around it by changing up the show to make it original, with completely original characters and settings. Because of this, they remade the first season after Season 2 was already done and published, and the remake (which is the version I watched) is the one that is canon to the show's story.

Btw, the original Season 1 that they made before this drama is now considered the 'beta' version, and it's not canon to the show's story. So you don't HAVE to watch the beta to understand anything, but it's there. (maybe one day I'll react to that too)

Obviously, BIG SPOILERS for this show.

So if you haven't watched it yet, I encourage you to watch it first and then check out these posts from me. The show is free on YouTube. They have it both in English and Spanish.

Check Out This Post For A Fast Travel To My Full Reactions To The Season

I AM planning on making more posts about this show, so look forward to those. (Including A Tier List post, compilations of the more funnier bits, etc)

With the exception of a couple of meme bits, THIS COMPILATION POST WON'T CONTAIN THE SCREENSHOTS. Tumblr has an image limit of 30 images per post.

So if you want the screenshots, see my episode reactions.

I also had to split this into two parts (again) because it got too big and Tumblr wouldn't allow it.

<< Premerge Compilation

Without further ado, let's get right into the CHAOS that ensued with this!

Tom's Termination

Why is Tom depressed?

"Can we speak?"

"I'm trying to wallow in the darkness in my heart."

"Shortly before I came here, I ended a relationship that was very toxic and I got hurt."

Oh he's telling Tom this. Okay. I approve. He deserves to know.

How many people have he told this to? Miriam, Ellie, now Tom?

"HEY GUYS, DO YOU THINK JAKE WAS IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?! I CAN'T TELL!"

I'm not annoyed by it, I'm cracking a bad joke

"These aren't excuses for how I've been treating you, but I want you to know I feel terrible."

You yelled at him ONCE. And you apologized for it three times now.

I wouldn't count that as "I've treated you terribly this entire time".

I'm glad he's making this clear though. He knows when to take accountability.

"I said I was sowwy, pwease fowgive me!"

"I have a hard time trusting people, Tom, I just... talking to you makes me forget sometimes how shitty life can be. I don't want to lose that."

This is actually good on Jake's end. He's explaining his situation to Tom, not excusing it, and trying to be open and honest.

"After all this is over, I would love if... you and I... we... continue-"

"Jake."

Why is Tom so pissy? He wasn't like this last episode.

"I got a call last night... I got fired."

😨

WHAT?!?!?!?!

HE GOT FIRED?!?!?!?!?!?

WH-WH-HOW?!?! HOW-?!

*Golden.exe has stopped working*

OH MY GOD...

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT BEING WHERE THIS STORY WAS HEADING.

SO HIS MISSION FAILED?!

Maybe he'll explain it. I'll keep listening.

"A video in which YOU mentioned my work was uploaded to the Internet and my boss saw it."

OH...

*covered mouth* Oh my god...

JAKE, YOU FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR

THERE IS NO REPAIRING THIS

You got your crush fired, now you suffer significant consequences for the rest of your days.

Well Tom is DEFINATELY not gonna want to be around you ever again.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Not now."

"Tom, if you need anyone to-"

"I SAID NOT NOW."

*storms off*

GOD...

I can't imagine how that makes Tom feel though. Getting fired because of a guy you liked...

OH WAIT CAUSE I PUT TOM IN THE HEADING LAST EPISODE. SHIT. I CAUSED THIS.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T JINX ANYONE LAST EPISODE.

Episode 8 Elimination + Gabby/Ellie Kiss

"Tonight, we won't just be reading the votes..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MY GOD IT'S A TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND REFERENCE

THEY DID THIS SAME THING ON THEIR FIRST MERGE COUNCIL TOO

'GABBY'

YEAH YEAH WE KNOW...

OH GOD I'M SCARED NOW...

IT'S EITHER GABBY OR JAKE AND BOTH ARE GONNA HURT

'GABBY'

"This is for getting me out of today's challenge."

BEEF.

'GABBY'

And then it's gonna be all the Jake votes piling up.

'TOM'

OH WAIT THEY'RE VOTING TOM. WAIT A MINUTE.

NO IT'S TOM THAT'S GOING.

I mean I'm not saying that's a bad move, it's a good move, but...

'TOM'

OH I'M SORRY TOM. THIS IS IT FOR YOU.

'GABBY'

WAIT WHAT??!?!?!?!

NOOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!??!?!

SHE'S ON YOUR SIDE!!!!

"Now without Gabby, Ellie will have no choice but to return with us to her old alliance."

SHE WAS ALREADY WITH YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!

THAT RUINS YOUR CHANCES TO ALLY WITH HER!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!!

'GABBY'

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO COME ON THAT'S BULLSHIT

THAT'S A BULLSHIT GAME MOVE!!

DON'T DO THIS!!!!

'GABBY'

😨

"Gabby. That's six votes. You're out."

GABBY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm actually HURT

I'm actually DEVASTATED...

OMG GABBY NOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, I'm calming down...

GOD I'M MAD. I'M SO MAD.

"I knew something was wrong."

HUH, at least now Ellie KNOWS who to trust, right?!

At least Jake came CLEAN about who his alliance was voting for! Fiore's DIDN'T.

HUH, I WONDER WHICH ALLIANCE I SHOULD SIDE WITH

That's a nail in the coffin. Ellie is NEVER siding with the villains.

I hope that gameplay was sounded smart on your ends.

Okay no I'll talk about this later.

"They ruined my plans."

OH YEAH NOW SHE'S OUTTED.

Fiore, you fucked up your entire game.

"You can make fun and celebrate all you want, but it won't last long! The three of you are still outnumbered."

OOF. And she just flat out said it.

"I am NOT working with you after this! You can't make me!"

"If you still had your totem, you could've saved yourself."

Yeah... should've kept that idol.

OH WAIT I PUT GABBY IN THE HEADING, I JINXED HER ELIMINATION, GODDAMMIT!!!

NO, I CAUSED THIS!!!

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING!!!

"I'm happy I saved you. You're the only person here who has ever taken me seriously, and possibly the only person I've ever met who has made me feel... valid."

💗

"Because you are! There's nothing wrong with you."

YOU BET THERE'S NOT. YOU'RE WONDERFUL, GABBY.

"I hope we'll keep talking when this is all over."

"We will."

*Kiss*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

YEEEESSSS!!!

*I got a 'Speak No Evil' trailer ad*

WOW. TONAL WHIPLASH THERE.

Tom Face Reveal + Tom/Jake Kiss

"Any update about your job?"

He got FIRED. I don't think you get an update after that.

"Anyway, I haven't been sure for awhile if this is what I really want..."

Oh?

You didn't want to be a spy?

"...or if I'm even good at it..."

Uh...

Yeah, you weren't, I'm gonna be brutally honest.

You can find a new job. One that you love. One where you can work AND maintain relationships.

"You think you weren't meant to be a spy?"

"I don't know. But it's not like I have a choice anymore."

Yeah... that's a hard situation. I can relate to that.

AH-!

OH MY GOD.

I DIDN'T-OH MY GOD...

"I don't work there anymore... I don't need this..."

So he WAS wearing that for his job! So he's ditching his career?!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH...

Oh THAT'S why...

I was thinking awhile it would be that he had a scarred face, but I wasn't sure. AND I was joking about it this whole time. God I feel awful now...

I'm trying to look at this properly. What happened? Was he in a fire or something? I can't tell cause it's a cartoon, but that MIGHT be burn scars?????

I don't know, maybe he's gonna explain it.

"My first job was a couple months ago. I was sloppy and I got found out. Things went wrong, and my captors... gave me this..."

😨

OH MY GOD, HE WAS TORTURED?!?!?!

HOLY-I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO THAT DARK WITH IT.

Holy god, I can't even imagine. I don't want to imagine Tom getting tortured like that.

"The boss wasn't happy. I was tasked to come onto this show as a contestant to investigate it. This job was my last chance, and I blew it."

Ouch...

"Were you using that mask to hide your identity or... were you...?"

"That's just an excuse. The truth is I... I felt ashamed..."

Aw...😢

"But you look good, Tom."

Awwwwww...💗

*Kiss*

...wwwwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH MYY GOD!!!!

*I got out of my chair and paced around for a minute*

AAAAAAAHHHH💗

*I'm giddy and out of breath*

I didn't expect them to kiss today... oh my god...

YEEESSS!!! I FEEL VALIDATED!!!!!

Oh my god, Tom Face Reveal. AND... ship name kiss, IN THE SAME SCENE. That's too much for the feels.

Jam. It's Jam isn't it? I don't have jam on me right now.

I actually don't like eating jam. I'm not a jelly person.

Okay okay okay, I'm sorry. I'll keep going.

"...I'm not."

Aw 💗

"Attention campers! Challenge time!"

Oh screw you!

They're good for each other. They're actually good for each other.

I HAD MY DOUBTS. But they do work.

*I had to get water* (Y'all keep your dirty jokes about that)

Ellie Gets 'Disarmed & Killed' (BLOOD TW)

"What happened with your mask?"

Oh yeah they don't know...

God it's SO WEIRD seeing Tom without the mask now.

OH SHIT-

UM, HELLO?!?!?!

IM SORRY, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!

“What the hell is that?!”

My thoughts exactly Ellie!

DID THEY WAKE UP IN THE FUTURE?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!

I'M WATCHING A TOTAL DRAMA FANFICTION, RIGHT?!?!

"It looks like a-a-a person..."

"Like a dead person?!"

Tom, you killed a guy!

OH GOOD LORD-

YEAH WE'RE NOT WATCHING DISVENTURE CAMP ANYMORE

If you asked me what my predictions were for this show: "Let's make a PLOT TWIST in the middle of the show and turn it into a zombie apocalypse 'The Walking Dead' show" Would NEVER be on my list.

WHAT THE HELL

I mean if you know me, you know I like death game stories...

But surprisingly, I don't actually like zombie apocalypse stories. It's not just my cup of tea.

Because zombie apocalypse stories are just so bloody hopeless and there's absolutely no way out of inevitable fate. It's just "This is hell, wait till it's your turn to die."

And I just naturally find that less compelling than stuff like Hunger Games, Squid Game, and Danganronpa, where there IS a possibility to escape your fate, even if it's really small.

With these kinds of stories, I'm just waiting for everyone to die. So I get less attached.

That's just my opinion.

"Did you hear that?!"

"Sounded like gunshots!"

"Don't worry guys! It's just Tom killing a man! It's fine!"

"I KISSSED A SERIAL KILLER?!?!"

I mean, I WOULD say this is all a stage show. Like these are just people wearing makeup.

BUT YOU CAN'T FAKE TOM KILLING A GUY.

UNLESS YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH WORSE THAN CHRIS MCLEAN

XD

"I don't care if he's a serial killer! HE'S MY LOVE! WE'RE LETTING HIM IN. WHAT'S THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN?!"

"What's going on?!"

"Ellie why do you have ketchup splashed all over your face?"

"They looked like people, but they're not!"

"I would never kill a man! I swear!!"

"What if it was a woman?"

"...shit!!"

"Is that... a bite?"

OH SHIT

They're not gonna KILL Ellie, right?!

Cut off her arm, and she might be saved!

"...well, one step closer to winning."

GRETT. WTF?! YOU"RE A PSYCHOPATH!!!

I mean I'm not surprised. BUT WTF?!

"I think we... have to... cut off your arm."

NO I WAS JUST JOKING, YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT?!?!?!?!?

"GOLDEN IS OUR OVERLORD AND SHE TOLD ME TO SAVE YOU BY CUTTING OFF YOUR ARM!!!"

"Isn't this just a silly challenge?!"

GOD I HOPE SO

CAUSE THIS IS FUCKED UP

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT...

I'M SORRY ELLIE!!!

"So... this ISN'T a challenge?"

YOU THINK?!?!!!

NOW YOU REGRET IT?!?!

"I think I'm gonna faint."

I WOULD TOO.

ELLIE NOOOOOOOO

Alec & Miriam 'Die' (BLOOD TW)

Tom is probably the most equipped for surviving this.

OH GOD-

YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD A CHILD AT GUNPOINT, TOM

YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT.

"I'll put one right between your eyes."

Tom, you're done.

OKAY, RIP ALEC

Tom is NOT fucking around!

"Tom! Are you okay?"

"No worries. I got a body count in the double digits now. Cool, huh?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

MIRIAM NOOOOOOOO

WHAT?!! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!

"Miriam, stay with me!!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

NOT THE GRANDMA

"Don't leave me!!"

AWWWW JAKE NOOO😢

He's losing another grandma! 😭

"Coming to this camp was worth it... I didn't think my last days would end like this... but I'm happy they were with you... you are the grandchildren I never had."

😭💗

HE'S YOUR GRANDSON. DON'T LEAVE HIM.

NOOOOOOO

"Not again!!" *cries*

AWWW JAKE, HONEY NOOOOOO 😭

Don't Make Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: Impossible.

Yeah lets just cut to a six year old driving a bus. Why not?

I'M STILL MOURNING

Fiore Murders Everyone Else (BLOOD TW)

"I don't know... I don't think this will ever end..."

Can we give Jake a hug? PLEASE?

"Hey... at least we have each other."

THANK YOU💗

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER💗

NO GODDAMMIT

FIORE WHYYYYYYYY

“Hey guys! I got another trick I wanna show you. It’s called: ‘BURY YOUR GAYS’”

*Jake gets killed too*

Goddammit...

NOT A SIX YEAR OLD MURDERING MY BOYS

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?!??!

"I'm sorry Grett, but I need this immunity."

Wait what-

*Murders Grett*

WELP.

This is how we got here.

A six year old is celebrating among her victims.

"WHOO HOOO!!! I KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!"

WHY IS TOM IN THE FAMILY GUY POSE?!?!?!?!?

"See that's my secret Golden. My mask protects me from getting killed, so I'm just faking my death."

"...oh wait I'm not wearing my mask anymore. SHIT-"

It Was All VR

...

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

IT WAS ALL VR?!

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!??!?!?!?!

"Oh my gosh, my arm! I have my arm!"

"Oh my gosh, I've been in a coma for a MONTH! Cause I died on the first day!"

"Victory is mine! MIIIIINNNNEEE!!!"

All Fiore cares about is winning.

When a six year old is an even worse psychopath than Grett.

"Am-am-am I dead?!"

Jake. Honey.

EVERYONE is going to need SERIOUS THERAPY after this.

HOLY SHIT THAT IS TRAUMATIZING.

I can't even blame Jake one bit. He watched his friend get turned into a zombie and die. He watched his surrogate grandma die. He watched his boyfriend die. He watched HIMSELF die. AND IT WAS IN THE SPAN OF A MONTH

...nah, therapy ain't fixing him.

"A few hours ago, you fell asleep, and we put you through our hyper realistic VR simulator."

You guys are fucked up.

Even Chris McLean is saying that's fucked up.

"I'm just glad I have both my arms again."

Ellie's just done.

"Yeah TOM! Don't cut a woman's arm off! I'M VOTING YOU TONIGHT."

Watch it actually be Tom that's going and that's Ellie's reason.

I feel like Tom's story is done anyway.

"The challenge was to survive the zombie apocalypse."

You can't survive a zombie apocalypse. Either you DIE, or you DIE.

"Wait, so you KILLED ME to get immunity?!"

YEAH.

If THAT doesn't prove to you that Fiore is FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR, idk what does.

"Weren't we in an alliance?"

"We were. But we got exposed last round."

ARE YOU DITCHING GRETT?!

YOU NEED HER FOR NUMBERS.

Idk why I'm asking at this point. These villains plans have been stupid these past two episodes.

I mean, it's not THAT bad here because there was no other option after they killed Tom & Jake. So...

I won't rant this time.

"You'll be distorted for a few more hours, adjusting back to our time, getting back to your body, all that kind of stuff."

"And you'll probably need YEARS of therapy."

Episode 9 Elimination

"What do we do? We have to decide between Alec or Grett."

Yeah, obviously.

At least Ellie doesn't hold beef about the arm thing.

*Grett Voted Alec*

Aaaaannnndd the villains are turning on each other.

Idiots.

*Fiore Voted Grett*

Wait what are you doing?

"That game is the closest I'll ever get to legally shooting someone in the face."

Fiore you are a psycho.

*Alec Voted Grett*

"Now that we're exposed, we don't need you anymore."

Welp. Grett's gone.

Unless the heroes voted Alec...

'ALEC'

We know.

'GRETT'

'ALEC'

OH THEY DID VOTE ALEC. WAIT A MINUTE.

'GRETT'

THE HEROES VOTED ALEC. WHERE ELSE WOULD THAT COME FROM?

'GRETT'

...wait what?

'GRETT'

Wow. Didn't even need to read all the votes.

Who threw their vote on Alec then?

*thinks about it*

Jake, why'd you do that? There's no reason.

"I might be thinking about turning on the heroes, you know?"

*sigh* Queen's time to go.

"Fiore, Alec, even though you betrayed me, I won't lie. I had a good time with you."

At least she's taking this well.

"It will be difficult, but I'll try and take what you said to heart. I'll stop trying to prove anything to anyone. In fact... that includes you."

"FUCK ALL OF YOU. PEACE OUT!!"

😂👏

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

Queen Queen Queen Queen QUEEEEENNNNN

👑

SHE SLAYED TILL THE END

...LITERALLY

Immunity Idol Found (x2)

"I found the clue to the location of an immunity totem. It should be right here."

NO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT-

Okay he doesn't know of her thinking about flipping, to be fair. But still.

"I sure hope no one STEALS this idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Ellie's gonna tell Fiore & Alec, "Hey guys, I know how to save you guys. Tom has an idol. Steal it from him and use it for the council."

That's definitely a plan!

CAN YOU TELL I'M PARANOID SINCE THE START OF THIS EPISODE?

"This is Golden speaking in your head. There are impersonal ways to play this game and save yourselves. You DON'T have to hurt Jake that way. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL give him slay pass and I WILL torment you the rest of this season!"

"COME ON! Why Jake?! What did he ever do to you?!"

"This is not good. That totem gives Tom more power than he already has."

THEN STEAL IT.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

A Compilation Of 'STEAL THE IDOL'

"I sure hope no one STEALS the idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Steal it from him and use it for the council.

THEN STEAL IT.

steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL.

"But how would they steal the idol?"

And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

Okay. Steal it.

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL.

You could've just stole the idol.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

So if you STEAL it

and steal the idol.

YOU COULD'VE JUST STOLE THE FUCKING IDOL.

She could've just stolen that motherfucking idol and all her problems would've been solved.

But you could've just stolen that godforsaken idol from Tom and you wouldn't have had to destroy anyone.

ME AND THIS IDOL HAVE BEEF, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

Episode 10 Elimination

Elimination already? Damn...

This is gonna be UGLY...

"I did my part. Now who are we going to vote for?"

You know what the weird part is? I don't even know how this benefits you guys.

Tom has an idol.

You didn't even have to gaslight Jake. You could've just stole the idol.

I'm pretty sure the game NEVER said that the person who got the idol was the only one who could play it.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

"Vote for Jake."

What?

Oh my god, what are you doing??

Why gaslight him then?!?!?!

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Fine. I guess I should give you a chance to explain yourself."

PLEASE. PLEASE TALK.

NOOOOO DAMMIT

Don't break them up, please... 😭🙏

"I don't know what's wrong with Jake this time, but I'm sure it was your fault."

YES. YES IT WAS.

So they are voting Jake...

So they're gonna keep their mouths shut and not worry about the idol?

I mean if they don't know Jake's in danger, they can't play the idol, right?

I THINK that's what they're doing.

"Wait. I have something to say to Tom."

...what are you doing?

"It's about Jake and all the drama surrounding him."

What are you doing? I thought you were gonna keep your mouth shut.

What's your plan? You WANT Tom to realize you're using Jake?

"Oh wait, shit! It wasn't Jake's fault this time! Welp, guess our alliance is back!"

But they already voted, so... goddammit...

"I care because it was all a lie."

"Ellie told Jake that Tom has a boyfriend and he was cheating on him. She kept them from speaking to each other all day."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?!?

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GASLIGHTING JAKE THEN?!?!?!?!

"Wait, what?! Is this true?!"

Oh shit now he realizes.

"Goddammit Jake, you promised you would talk to me this time!"

DID YOU NOT HEAR HER?! ELLIE WAS PREVENTING HIM FROM DOING THAT!!!!

IF HE COULD, HE WOULD HAVE.

WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT JAKE?!?!

"Tom, I didn't know! I tried to talk to you, but Ellie told me not to!! Please you have to believe me!!!"

HONEY NO...

"Why are you listening to her?!"

"I thought I could trust her. I'm sorry Tom..."

"And you didn't think you could trust me?! After everything we've been through?!"

💔

I mean, okay, that is valid. That is on Jake.

"Children, children, stop fighting please!!"

Aw Miriam 💔😢

"Wait, this doesn't end here."

OH MY GOD WHAT NOW?!?!?

"Tom, we know about your totem."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU WANT TO GET ELIMINATED?!?!?

"Alec, Ellie, and I voted for Jake. So if you don't use your totem to save your little dumb boyfriend, he's gone tonight."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?

SO YOU'RE ASKING TOM TO USE THE IDOL. WHY?!???!! THAT SCREWS YOU OVER.

Unless she's lying and she and Alec flipped...

But THAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE.

You betray Ellie, YET AGAIN. You LOSE HER as an ally.

Unless you're trying to boot her and have her be 5th place. BUT THEN YOU HAVE JAKE AND MIRIAM AS AN ALLIANCE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO GASLIGHT JAKE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Just convince Ellie to be on your side to get her to flip, vote for who you want out, convince Tom & Jake to go do something that forces Tom to leave the idol behind...

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

THAT IS THE EASIEST AND CLEANEST SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS.

AND YET YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY THESE PEOPLE INSTEAD AND MAKE THINGS TOO BLOODY COMPLICATED.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?

"I'm sorry, I just can't leave here 4th place. I know if I stuck with you guys, I'd never make the finals."

"And you decided you'd mess with my personal trauma just to get further in the game?!"

YESS!! BE PISSED!!!!!!! CALL HER OUT!!!!!

"You're screwed up Ellie. You need help!"

"Actually... yes."

*snicker* Okay, that was good.

"I don't ever want to talk to you again!"

"No need to yell like that."

UM, LET'S BE HONEST. I THINK JAKE DESERVES TO BE VOCAL HERE. HE WAS GASLIT BY YOU GUYS.

"Times running out Tom. What'll it be?"

Don't play it Tom.

They're tricking you. Don't play it.

Though that's kinda bad on his end, cause that'd be him saying "Nah, fuck you Jake. Go to the bus and drive it to hell."

"Tom, please, I know I've been bad, but I promise, if you save me, we can talk tomorrow and work things out!!"

I don't think that's gonna happen...

He's begging so bad here 😭

You screwed up Jake. You screwed up...

"What's stopping you from believing another lie they tell you tomorrow?"

Insert my rant before here.

"Tom, I get that you're mad at Jake, but if he goes, you and I will go right after."

No I don't think that's how it's gonna work...

My heart is HURTING right now btw. I'm actually shaking.

"Why are you so relaxed?! If Tom plays the idol on Jake, we're screwed!"

EXACTLY. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN HERE?!??!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE.

"Can I please read the votes people?!"

The host is just done with it...

"I'm going to use my totem to save Jake."

Aw....

Even after everything he loves you... 😭

No...

They flipped. They HAD to have flipped...

'JAKE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

Oh no...

*I'm burying my face in my hands to hold back wet eyes*

'FIORE'

They flipped.

She's so unbothered. They flipped.

'FIORE'

They flipped.

*DREAD* THEY FLIPPED.

Is the next one Tom?

'TOM'

I KNEW IT

I KNEW IT OH NOOOOOOO...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😭

'TOM'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I have a bad feeling... Jake voted Tom cause he was mad.

He was trying to throw his vote on Tom to save the trouble, AND IT BACKFIRED HORRIBLY.

'TOM'

*Buries face in hands again*

I can't... I can't... no...

"I wonder whose fault that was."

Yeah...

"Tom, I'm sorry, please, you have to forgive me-"

"SHUT UP."

"YOU AND I ARE DONE. DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN."

💔😭💔

Oh my god...

Oh my god no...

No...

Oh god...

So... I'm not welling up bawling or anything...

But I am SHAKING.

I am SCREAMING.

I am on the verge of CRYING.

I fell nauseous, so add THROWING UP on that list too.

I'm so upset.

I mean I get it, villains gotta villain, but holy shit...

They were doing so well too. They could've been so great together!

THEY COULD'VE GOTTEN CHINESE TOGETHER LIKE THEY WANTED

GODDAMMIT...

This is some shit Heather would do.

And did.

I mean... compare that episode to this episode as much as you'd like. I don't really care.

My heart is actually sunken right now.

That hurt.

I think this elimination broke me.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!

Is Jake pissed? He's gotta be.

The Host's Crimes

OH HEY!

I thought you guys were eliminated! What are you doing here?

OH SHIT...

Um...

I didn't think we'd be dealing with MURDERERS...

Holy shit this just got a lot darker.

"When I found out at the hotel that Derek and Trevor were exterminating the animals in the forest, I was about to take justice into my own hands! But I remembered that the last time I tried, things didn't end well..."

"And how did you know it was them?"

"I may or may not have threatened the hotel receptionists so they would tell me the truth."

Oh my god Gabby, I love you XD

"I did all your spy work for you! You're welcome! Torture always works!"

(No it doesn't)

"I wanted to call the police! But with my record, I knew they wouldn't listen to me, so I remembered that you're a cop."

So Gabby's a delinquent...

Honestly I'm not surprised.

Also Tom was a spy, where'd you get this from?

"Then what are you? A ninja?"

XD

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ENTIRE TIME.

Me Getting Enraged Over Ellie Hurting Jake

Oh they made it. Cool.

Who gets the immunity though?

Talk it out? Please?

"Only one of us can win..."

"If you give this to me, maybe I'll forgive you."

Yeah, he does need it.

The opportunity is open, Ellie! Redeem yourself!

COME HOME. COME TO THE LIGHT. GET YOUR FRIENDS BACK.

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

WHAT?!?!?! ELLIE NOOOO

NO YOU WERE DOING GOOD

WHY?!?!?!?!

"And 'BOO HOO, AWWW, I GOT CHEATED ON'. GROW THE HELL UP JAKE."

WHAT THE FUCK?! 😠

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama. You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

😠

"Tom probably saw it too."

DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO HIM.

"You have no right to shame me."

YOU HURT HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

BULL. SHIT. 😡 THAT WAS FIORE AND ALEC.

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

*Paused the Episode on this frame*

...

So, this is being written TEN MINUTES after I paused the episode in that frame.

What happened in between that ten minutes was that I PAUSED the episode, got out of my seat paced around my room in rage, SCREAMED THE F WORD, I'm lucky my family isn't home at the moment so they can't hear me, and I left the room and paced around in my kitchen to calm down because I felt SICK, HURT, TRIGGERED, and ATTACKED.

Not the writer's fault. They don't know. But... OMG

YOU. YOOOOOUUUUUU

YOU CANNOT DO THAT

I am VERY EMOTIONAL in this segment if you can't tell.

YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

Maybe in a separate post, when I cooled my head, I'll talk about WHY this scene hurt me so much.

But my reason is not actually based off the characters. Roles swapped, I think I'd still react this way.

Bottom line is, remember when I said earlier that Miriam was calling Ellie out to help her?

THIS ISN'T THAT. THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE CALLING JAKE OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT', THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE GIRLBOSS MOMENT'. THIS IS SHAMING.

This is SHAMING someone with serious mental problems that need help.

This is not 'Oh, Ellie's ROASTING Jake right now, what a powerful moment for her! Hell ya, he deserved it!'

THIS TRIGGERED ME.

I actually KNEW this scene existed before I watched the show. But I had no context, didn't know what episode it was, didn't know when it showed up, and I didn't remember the exact dialogue. But it was in a clip of a reaction that was cheering for Ellie doing this.

I won't give names, I won't throw hands, that's not their fault if they see it that way. This is just VERY PERSONAL FOR ME.

I won't give massive details, because it's so personal, but why it triggered me? I HAVE BEEN THERE IN MY LIFE.

I HAVE BEEN THERE YEARS AGO, MULTIPLE TIMES, WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE DOING THIS SHIT TO ME. Acting JUST LIKE how Ellie does here, towards me.

It caused me a lot of problems growing up. My family AGREED with the people doing that, so that was not fun. They said 'I needed to hear this. I deserved it.'

So I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. This shit does no favors to the person you're 'roasting'. If anything, this makes the behavior you're calling out WORSE. They act even MORE like this whiny bratty type as a way to cope with the thought that everyone hates them!

ELLIE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

THAT HURTS PEOPLE.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S JAKE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE JAKE. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

I'm not saying Jake is innocent and doesn't deserve calling out. BUT, THAT'S NOW HOW YOU DO IT

EVERYTHING Ellie said in that was just... ANGERED ME. IT ANGERED ME.

I gotta calm down. I'm sorry. I gotta calm down. Peace.

Episode 11 Elimination

Oooooooohh god...

I'm actually feeling kinda hopeless.

I think I know who it is.

'JAKE'

Yeah...

'ELLIE'

Should've went for the gold.

'ELLIE'

'JAKE'

Aaaaaaaannnnnd I know Fiore's handwriting at this point.

It's over.

'JAKE'

*Long Depressed Sigh*

...I knew it.

We didn't get revenge. Goddammit.

"Whatever. I don't care."

"Spoken like a man who cares."

"Miriam, I'm so sorry to be leaving you. Maybe if I had taken things differently, none of this would've happened."

Yeah...

"Thank you so much for supporting me. Everything from my grandmother to Tom..."

Oh come on, don't make this sad for me.

"Don't fret, kid. I thought I wouldn't open up to anyone here. But you were patient with me, and taught me that I shouldn't judge people so quickly."

Yeah. He's chaotic like that.

"You may be down, but you're not out. Play your butt off Miriam. We'll see each other when this is all over, okay?"

Yes. Win for them, Miriam.

Awwwwwwww💗

...damn. I'm gonna miss that trainwreck.

Episode 12 Elimination

"You and I can also work together to become the final two after that."

GODDAMN. MIRIAM, YOU'RE COLD.

Okay, this is DEFINATELY a Survivor thing.

"You cannot grab the top with your hands and your feet must be on the line."

Oh. Okay. I was gonna say 'just wrap your feet around the pole' but you can't do that.

"Sounds easy."

"For you, yes, cause you're small."

But she's a child, wouldn't that make her less capable of endurance than Ellie and Alec?

How are you already slipping? We just started!

I say that like I would do better. I probably wouldn't.

NO MIRIAM

"You're much lighter than me. Do you think you can last longer?"

Oh you're not slipping and trusting Ellie, are you?

You're a dumbass.

"But unfortunately, I can't have us winning this."

YOU DUMBASS.

Does Ellie have my forgiveness for this???

Um...

That's a debate. First you apologize for the death threat. THEN we'll talk.

"What if they can't agree?"

"In that case, you and Ellie would go to one last challenge to decide who gets eliminated."

Oh really?

Is that what we're gonna do?

...or is Fiore gonna ditch Alec's ass? Did I call it?

"I choose Ellie. And I won't change my mind."

Okay.

"Well... I..."

Moment of truth.

She's gonna ditch him.

"Alec... I really liked you, and that's dangerous, because feelings are for weak people."

OH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

"I vote to take Ellie to the final."

I. FUCKING. CALLED IT.

😂

GET FUCKED, ALEC!!!!! GET! FUCKED!!!!!

"But after all I've done?! I protected you this whole game! I helped you win the zombie apocalypse challenge, saved your life in the cave, covered up your plans so no one would suspect you're a PSYCHOPATH, and you STILL eliminate me?!"

THAT'S ON YOU, YOU DUMBASS.

WHY WOULD YOU TRUST HER?!?! SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH! YOU KNEW THIS. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.

"Yes, thanks for all that, but I don't need you anymore."

👏😂👏

SHE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DID I SAY?!

Yeah, she cares about literally nobody.

She WILL ditch these guys on the bus the moment she has the chance.

And she's gonna show no remorse doing it.

And when that happens I'm gonna be HOWLING.

WELL HERE I AM.

SHE DITCHED HIM, NO REMORSE, AND I AM HOWLING.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I CALLED THIS.

"Oh come on Alec, out of everybody, you're the last one who should be talking about feeling betrayed."

GET. HIS. ASS.

"This doesn't concern you. Keep it to yourself, Ellie."

You betrayed her three times. She DOES get a right to say that!

See, THIS is a good moment of Ellie ROASTING someone who fucking DESERVES IT.

"Your parents were right about you. You are a mistake."

"Oh. I know. And I don't care. Oh, and I bet you'd know a lot about making mistakes."

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I do not feel bad for Alec at all. Let's be real. HE DESERVED THIS.

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE PUT YOUR FATE IN THE HANDS OF THIS PSYCHOPATHIC CHILD. THAT IS ON YOU.

GOODBYE, SIR.

3rd Place

Oh yay, the demon child wins...

This is where Miriam goes.

YEAH THIS IS WHERE MIRIAM GOES

THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT

AW, I'M SORRY MIRIAM. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

"Tom... I... I can't go any..."

NO DON'T GIVE UP

"Wait... I need help!"

Wait what's happening?

"Oh... my heart..."

OH NO. WHAT?!??!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?!?!

NO

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER?!??!?!

NO THAT'S SICK. OH MY GOD. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T KILL HER OFF, I LOVE HER. NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO MIRIAM, NOOOOOOOO

CPR. DO CPR TOM. PLEASE.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

LADY, YOU THINK?!?!?! SHE'S DYING.

"I can smell that million bucks calling to me."

OH

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHAT

😲

I... I...

*AnalyzGolden.exe has stopped working*

...

... ... ...

So... let me get this straight...

She FAKED A HEART ATTACK TO WIN?!

... ... ...

😂👏

OMG THAT GOT ME

OMG MIRIAM YOU ARE INSANE

AND ELLIE'S OUT

😂👏

You KNOW this was done as revenge for Tom and Jake

KARMA IS A BITCH, ELLIE!!!!!!

Miriam used the slay pass! SHE ACTUALLY USED IT. I HAVE HER SLAY PASS AND SHE USED IT.

😂👏

THAT WAS SO GOOD

"What the hell was that?! After everything that has happened in this game, I lose a chance of fixing my life because of THAT?!"

I want to feel bad for Ellie, but I just DON'T.

OH MY GOD...

*struggling to calm down*

And the Winner Is...

COME ON MIRIAM

"NO NO NO! I WILL NOT LOSE HERE!! NOT AFTER EVERYTHING!!! MOVE YOU STUPID-"

OH GEEZ

UM....

IS SHE ALIVE?!

I don't necessarily care about Fiore's well being, I just don't want Tom to go to jail for child murder.

DON'T TELL ME THIS BLOW GETS HER TO PASS MIRIAM AND WIN

IS THIS A VILLAIN WIN?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OH THANK GOD.

...

I MEAN, IT'S BAD THAT SHE CRASHED IN FIRE, BUT THANK GOD SHE DIDN'T CROSS THE FINISH LINE...

God, I'm gonna have the police at my door now.

MIRIAM WON!!🎉

Deserved, honestly. That's a winner I can get behind.

The Hosts Get Arrested

*sirens*

Oh no XD

"TOM, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR ATTEMPTED CHILD MURDER"

"Vladimir Jensen, Trevor Mcgregor, and Derek Johnson. You are al under arrest for wildlife damage, destruction of protected property, and illegal deforestation."

OH.

OH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

THE COPS ARE DOING THEIR JOB.

"Well they really took their time, didn't they?"

I bet Tom is the kind of guy to say "COPS SUCK. OMG THEY'RE SO IMPOSSIBLE."

OH SHIT-

OH SHIT HE'S GOT A GUN

WELL THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

"This is for killing the animals!"

😨

GABBY YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT-

😂

YES QUEEN!!! SLAY!!!!!!

NOOOO COME ON!!!!

COME ON DON'T PULL A HEATHER TO MIRIAM!

OH TOM'S GOING AFTER THEM HE'S GOT A HOOK IDK WHERE HE GOT THAT FROM THINGS ARE HAPPENING SO FAST RIGHT NOW-

OH GOD HE'S FIGHTING

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE

TOM DON'T DIE

OH NO

WAIT DID THEY DIE?!?!?!?!

OH MY GOD...

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TOM DIED.

*cuts to black*

OH MY GOD...

What just happened?!?!

DID TOM DIE?!?!?!

New Host Reveal

Who are you???

"What happened to Jensen?"

"No one knows. They never found a body."

So he's not dead???

"How'd they let you run another season after this?"

Oh wait cause the old hosts got arrested, this is the new host. GOTCHA.

"What selection?"

"For the next season, duh."

Bring on the Season 2 cast.

"We need to decide the participants for All Stars."

Wait what? What about Season 2?

Does this take place AFTER Season 2??? Huh??? I am confusion.

[bigjimbopickens]

For me personally, I won't be watching Kevin's stuff for a while to come. It is less about him though and more about the community he's brought to him, a community that now thinks he is one of them. A community that will likely stick around now as well. I don't remember reading anything in his apology regarding the vitriol he allowed to spread (though turning the comments off was the right thing to do), and I'm still soured by the lack of response to you regarding the p*** claims.

In any case I'm heavily disappointed. I love Kevin. He's the only YouTuber I have any merch from. And while I saw this coming I'm anguished. It sucks.

- also an autistic trans man

When I said I wouldn’t talk about this anymore I lied I wanna respond to this. I am contributing more to the convo with this though.

I feel the same way as I’m sure many others do too. And I’m glad you brought up the previous bs that happened just 2 or so months prior to all this because I was going to but felt like it wasn’t necessary as the post was already long enough.

For those unaware, in November 2022 Kevin posted a sims 4 video where he recreated the original sims 4 cult, which the fandom mimicked in a way. He changed the rules in that one to ban werewolves, which was interpreted as “ban furries.”

I made a joke response to it using the fursuit I made of werewolf Jim Pickens and people took it wayyyy too seriously. I was harassed quite a bit for that because people take what Kevin says too seriously. And of course I was called a p*do over it too. That situation scared off a-lot of people from the community but my naive self thought that was as bad as it gets and wanted to fix it. I believed it was my fault. So I organized a raid to bring the positivity back and it worked. Until Kevin fucked it up again 2 months later. I’m not organizing another. I’m not fixing his community again, he broke it and I had no involvement this time.

I sorta let that one slide when really I shouldn’t have because it was just one user who was really causing an issue for me. And it also wasn’t Kevin’s fault that guy had issues. I heard that Kevin did vaguely mention it on stream but I didn’t catch it because I was flying that day. Coincidentally he did post his “I almost quit in 2022” video on the day of the raid, which I came across again and said half-jokingly “You should’ve.”

There is another situation similar that happened to me back in April 2021 that is somewhat related as well. It was during the first NoPixel stream when I did fanart of Grognak and people started getting mad over their pronouns in my replies. So out of spite me and another artist drew them with the non binary pride flag and people became horribly transphobic towards us. Other artists joined us and the mods banned whoever was being transphobic in the replies. So transphobia has always been an issue in the community unfortunately, I just didn’t realize it was that fucking bad.

I joined the community shortly after the pandemic started when the Tomodachi Life series had started and I wish we could go back to those days. It was so much fun. Kevin never does videos anymore about his characters and when he does they’re more challenge-based rather than lore/character focused. That’s a big reason why his sims series fell off so hard. Jim went from being this evil idiot yet genius cult leader to asexually reproducing 100 babies. With the last sims 4 video being one that started a fight in his community I have no idea how he’s going to continue it. I don’t even know if he’s aware of what happened to me. I know he saw the fursuit, he liked the tweet I made about it.

Oh man another long post. Damn I ramble a lot. But I think it needs to be said regardless. I have got to be the user of the community who got fucked over the most amount of times simply for existing haha. I am the embodiment of what the community seems to hate. Thankfully two other communities have already welcomed me so I don’t have to rely on this one as much anymore. I’m still thankful for all the good it’s done for me but I’ve never been in a fandom more toxic than the Call Me Kevin community.

I hope you’re also doing well, anonymous stranger.

[bizarrequazar]

Collected Sources about the Stolen Songs

Yesterday an article was published by What’s On Weibo giving an objective overview about the stolen songs accredited to Zhang Zhehan that have been released in the last month. I was going to make a post today linking that article, but it has been taken down for unknown reasons (still viewable through [screenshots] and [the Wayback Machine]), so I may as well just write my own thing.

Below is collected information and sources outlining concerns regarding the legitimacy of the songs Melancholy Sunshine, Knight Errant, and 途. I will keep this up to date; if you have more information, feel free to send it to me so it can be added.

Despite the fact that 813 was specifically concerned with nationalism, the songs have only been released on international platforms, none native to China. Please consider how this looks to the general public.

The YouTube account posting the songs is YoYoRock: a Taiwanese distributer, not a licensing company. [Here] is an ask I previously answered about this.

Online streaming makes you pennies nowadays, money is not the primary goal of these releases.

The chart ratings (ie. views and sales) were openly artifically inflated, with people known to be involved in the Zhang Sanjian scam publicly encouraging fans in China to use illegal VPNS and make additional accounts in order to boost sales. [Here] is a video of Zhang Zhehan apologizing to fans for charging the equivalent of $0.60 USD for his album, [here] is a video of him telling a fan to spend money on their family rather than him.

The iTunes charts are entirely based on sales, [here] is a YouTube video explaining how easy this is to manipulate if you have the means. [thread tracking the huge rises and falls of the songs]

Melancholy Sunshine fell dramatically after the song’s title was changed to English, and the scam gang blamed that as the reason. iTunes would not change the title, that was something done manually. It falling coincided with midnight in China and was likely actually a result of the time running out on how long water armies has been bought for.

Songs being released without an artist’s permission is unfortunately far from unheard of, with the most well known example being Taylor Swift.

Spotify will not take down songs posted illegally unless a copyright claim is registered.

There is some question of if these songs were sung by Zhang Zhehan at all, as the scam has already been using proven deepfakes since May. [example of audio deepfaking] Melancholy Sunshine is the only one that has any evidence of being legitimate in this regard, as the demo for it was leaked after 813.

Knight Errant has an Explicit rating on iTunes—again, this was probably manually applied, as the song does not contain any language that would auto-trigger iTunes’ filter. China has much higher standards for celebrity conduct that western cultures, releasing an “explicit” song would not reflect well on Zhang Zhehan.

途 was premiered via radio rather than online streaming:  -  The first of these radio stations introduced it with audio supposedly spoken by Zhang Zhehan, only for a fan to admit shortly after that she had spliced this audio together using two videos of him from 2020, saying that she had not intended for people to think it was new. [further info about this]  -  Another radio station that played it briefly discussed 813 in their introduction, referring to the event that had many people fearing for his life for months and that almost resulted in his mother’s suicide as an “oopsie”, and not offering any clarifications about the falsity of the smears.

[Masterlist of my other posts regarding the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

[meletesmusings]

Even further musings on Kaeya as Odin inspired by video from roozevelt

Hello Fellow Travelers,

It has been quite a while now. I apologize for my sudden disappearance shortly after creating this blog with the promise of more. But alas, much in my life has required my utmost attention so all of my drafts and note making had to be halted. I’m hoping come the mid-year months I may be able to return to this blog as intended.

However, enough of that! While this is not a full write up, I have recently watched a video that has delighted me and has given me some further thoughts to my first write up about Kaeya and his connections to Odin!

This is the video by roozevelt on Youtube about Fischl.

---

Going forward, when I write the name “Fischl” I am referring to the fictional character in the works of in-game author Mr. Nine. The playable character of the same name will be referred to as “Amy.”

---

In the video, roozevelt discusses the connections between Fischl and the god Odin as well as touching on the connection between the God King and Fischl from the ‘Legend of the Shattered Halberd’ series. It’s also important to note the God King himself is also an Odin figure and, while not named Fischl in this series, the figure of Fischl is his daughter. roozevelt also has another video discussing this book series.

Towards the end of roozevelt’s Fischl video, candidates of who Fischl could be representing are brought up: such as the Tsaritsa or either of the twins (as Fischl is just a fictional representation and potentially her gender has no bearing on who she’s inspired from). However, an interesting candidate is brought up at the end as a crack theory, and that is Kaeya. roozevelt brings up some potential connection as well as Kaeya and Amy’s voicelines about each other where Kaeya jokes he may be a royal descendent of some kind. However, considering my own musings from my original 4-part write up on potential information about Kaeya that could be directly referencing Odin, I wonder if it isn’t crack at all!

Also roozevelt brings up the topic of Eternal Return/samsaras/cycles and the line in Fischl’s story of how Fischl’s mother before her may have also experienced what Fischl has on her journey. In this case, could Fischl’s mother have played the ‘role’ of Fischl in an older era still giving us a 2 Odins situation as brought up in my write up? Could this open up potential for more than 2 Odin figures if history continues to cycle with different people taking on similar ‘roles’? Could Irmin have been a previous Odin/Fischl with Kaeya playing out the role again in present day?

Another thing of note is Amy’s boots. In my original post I brought up a potential justification of having 2 Odins with Odin’s syncretism connection to Hermes. Hermes had wings sprouting from his ankles that later became winged sandals. 

She does indeed have winged footwear! However, I should note that in Amy’s Ein Immernachtstraum outfit she does not have wings on her footwear but her default outfit is based directly off of illustrations of Fischl from the books.

---

Thank you for reading this addition to my Post01 thoughts and apologies again for having to leave this account so soon. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend watching roozevelt’s theory videos.

I still have much to attend to in my daily life but I hope to return with posts to share.

Safe journeys Travelers!

M

[xplrvibes]

I missed a few chapters. Why don't people like Elton anymore?

I do apologize to whoever sent this ask in, as I only just discovered it in my ask box last night. I don't know why, but sometimes I get notified if I have asks, and sometimes I don't.

Anywho: Elton. A lot of people don't like him because he spent a lot more time and effort shading snc than any self-respecting man in his thirties should be, but he also has a history of being an abrasive, sociopathic ass so he's not winning any personality awards, either.

@golbrocklovely has a few asks that go into a more detailed history of Elton's beef with snc (which I cannot link right now for some reason! But check her tag on her blog), but to sum that up: back in 2020, snc decided to flip formats and try to do more bucket list/travel style content for a while. When they announced this concept (which eventually was developed into 25x25), Elton had a snit and posted a very passive aggressive post on his community page on the TFIL youtube channel, accusing them of "imitating" his style. Excerpt below:

And yes, he confirmed in the comments that he was talking about snc.

On the day snc announced 25x25 on twitter, Elton decided that would be a great day to get on twitter and like a bunch of posts shading them, while simultaneously tweeting at Colby (and only Colby) congratulating him for making his dreams come true.

Elton then continued to shade them up and down the internet whenever he had the chance for the next several months, all while filming haunted videos that were an exact replica of theirs, and trying to undercut them with other youtubers and haunted places.

This culminated in both TFIL and snc winding up in Ukraine at the EXACT SAME TIME, with the EXACT SAME ITINERARY, filming the EXACT SAME SERIES OF VIDEOS. No lie. Look up carbon copy in the dictionary, and you'll get this situation.

Now, right before this, Corey had his little meltdown on twitter about keeping his drama off social media LIKE A MAN, which was the direct result of a leaked podcast where snc talked about old traphouse drama. During this, Elton unfollowed the snc accounts and Sam, but kept following Colby.

So, they all get to the Ukraine. Elton is being mocked mercilessly on twitter for being a copycat bitch who can't let go of Colby because he, like everyone else on earth, can't resist whatever the fuck energy it is that Colby is pumping out. He unfollows Colby the day they get to Ukraine and Colby immediately unfollows him right back. Sam follows suit shortly afterwards. That pretty much put the nail in the coffin for anyone who was still holding out hope that they were all still friends.

And it's really been a rinse and repeat of the same old, same old from him ever since.

As far as his personality type: Elton is kind of a dick, full stop. There are multiple stories of him being rude to fans at events, he has gotten into multiple fights with fans on multiple social media platforms and doubled down, even when he was in the wrong, he is the only person we know for 100% has been banned from a haunted place for his attitude, and even in videos, he gives off the air of someone who smiles when his friends get hurt.

tldr: he's an unpleasant dick.

[ambroziadelphine]

Madara in the real world: Chapter 1

Prologue

I sighed, looking at him a moment longer before going into the kitchen, deciding to make some lunch for the both of us. I had noticed he didn't have the eyes of the Reanimation Jutsu, which means he is actually alive, and probably a little hungry if I had to guess. I looked in the fridge and tried to figure out what to make before an idea came to mind, getting the ingredients out for inarizushi, if he's hungry I doubt he'll say no to his favourite meal. It didn't take too long for the kitchen to fill with the delicious smell of food, my phone softly playing Closer by Nine Inch Nails, my lips mouthing the lyrics as I made the food, not noticing the dark haired Uchiha with his eyes trained on me, watching as I was swinging my hips to the softly playing music. Wondering how I was so calm and relaxed when I knew he could literally kill me whenever he wanted.

I see red by Everybody Loves an Outlaw came on and I started to softly sing to it, channeling the inner anger from my first and last pathetic excuse of a boyfriend. He had tried to pressure me into going too fast, especially after learning about my line of work. I broke it off with him shortly after he had tried to assault me after saying no for the hundredth time, my dad actually had to get him out with a shotgun pointed at him. I finished up the food, purposefully making two plates, if he wasn't hungry I'd just save it for later. I set the dirty dishes in the dish washer, bending down to grab the door, shutting and starting it before turning around and jumping, Madara being right behind me like a looming statue.

"God damnit, Madara. You'll give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking up on me all the time." I said, a hand over my head as he gave an amused 'Hn'.

"I apologize, I just couldn't help but see what you were doing." He said, looking behind me at the two plates, I could almost hear his stomach growl. "Is that inarizushi?" He asked, eyeing the freshly made food as I grinned.

"I figured you'd be hungry." I said sheepishly, offering him a plate which he hesitantly took.

"Thank you." He said after a beat, walking over to the dining table, still holding a Naruto manga. I smile softly, grabbing my own plate and setting it on the table, taking out my phone as I decided to scroll through tiktok. I had just opened it when immediately a Madara tiktok popped up and he looked up, hearing his own voice as I quickly scrolled passed as my face turned red, still trying to keep a passive expression. "What was that?" He asked, eyeing my slightly reddened cheeks as I glanced at him.

"Uh.. tiktok?" I said, mentally slapping myself at the dumb answer. "Its a social media platform where people make and share short videos. I.. tend to get a few videos about you quite often while scrolling through it." I said, avoiding his eyes as I explained briefly.

"Hn." Was all he said making me sigh, rolling my eyes.

"At least your attitude isn't as bad as Sasuke." I muttered, our meal continuing on in silence before my phone buzzed, a text from my youtube friends on discord came up. They were all planning a livestream of among us later tonight, I figured I could join so I texted back saying I'd be there before setting my phone down.

"What is.. that thing?" Madara asked, I looked up at him, holding up the phone questioningly.

"This?" I asked to which he nodded. "It's a smartphone. I can call or text people from anywhere in the world, watch videos, take photos, that kind of stuff." I said, unlocking the phone and sliding it over to him, watching as he hesitantly picked it up.

"How does it.. work?" He asked, picking the slim metallic box up carefully in his hand observing the photo of me with my dad on my 19th birthday. He get drunk with me and we had a massive bonfire, which you could see in the back of the photo; I was on my dad's back as we laughed in our drunken state. My mother took that photo.

"It reacts to touch, tap the screen and it'll respond. The little images on it are called apps, I have lots but there are a few on there I'd rather you not look at." I said, gesturing him to slide it back over, which he did.

"May I ask why?" He asked making me laugh nervously.

"I don't exactly think you'll be thrilled to know what I do for a living, given the time period you're from. To make your stay here as comfortable as possible, just don't ask or things may get awkward for a while." I said, finishing up my food and taking my plate to the kitchen.

"I feel it would be important to know who I am living with for the foreseeable future. Would it not be better to tell me now then have me find out later?" He asked making me sigh.

"Madara, times are a lot different here then in your world." I said, walking up to him and putting a hand on my hip. "My work would be very much frowned upon by anyone from your time. I think it would be easier for both of us if you didn't have that knowledge." I said, walking away up the stairs before turning back to him.

"By the way, for that same reason, I'd advise against going into my study. There are quite a few private items in there I'd rather you not see." I said, walking up the steps and turning to the dark navy door where my 'study' was. It was really just my filming room for my adult content, everything was hidden from view, only shelves with multiple large foldable bins holding my toys and lingerie. I walked over to the desk, the camera equipment laying there waiting for the next time I used it. I've gotta make some more videos tonight, but I don't know just how soundproof this room is. I've never exactly had to test it before, usually just waiting until no one was home when my siblings used to live here.

I looked out the window and sighed, this was so strange, so why didn't it feel as unreal as I thought it should? I shook the thoughts from my head, better to be glad I'm taking this so well then panicking why I'm not freaking out about this. I walked out of the room, making sure to lock it behind me with the master key I had. It unlocked all doors in this house, which came in handy with the old locks in all the doors, occasionally getting stuck due to their age.

--------------------

Later that night, I was getting ready for my livestream. I had put a pole out on Instagram on which cosplay my viewers wanted tonight and there was a resounding cheer for Sarada Uchiha, teenage version. I was reluctant given the Uchiha currently in the house but figured I couldn't let him stop me from doing my job, one which I loved too. I was just touching up my makeup when Madara walked by, pausing as he glanced into the bathroom door.

"What are you doing?" He asked, half stepping into the room as I looked at him through my mirror.

"I'm in a cosplay costume. I usually wear some kind of cosplay for some of my live streams. I let my viewers decide who I dress up as so they get a little bit of a choice in what I do." I said, turning to him and sliding past him as I walked down the hall back into my room where I had my computer set up.

"Viewers?" He muttered, brows furrowing in confusion making me grin.

"I sit here, in front of this camera," I explain, turning the camera on so he could see himself in the monitor making him jump back slightly. "And people all over the world can watch me as I do almost whatever I want. Usually I just play games with my friends online." I said, opening discord to the channel where everyone else was getting ready.

"That sounds.. violating. To be watched at all times." He grumbled, looking at the mirror image of himself on the screen. I chuckled and stood up, heading to get a drink before I started.

"If you think that's bad, you really would hate the other part of my job." I called back to him over my shoulder, walking down the stairs and grabbing a cold water bottle before walking back up to see him sat on my bed. "What? Do you wanna watch or something?" I asked with a slight chuckle. He huffed and turned away from me making me grin.

"Its okay if you do." I said, walking over and patting his head gently before I sat down, putting my headset on. I glanced at the Uchiha to see him scowling slightly, his face pink making me shake my head. I think I'm gonna like having him around. I set up my among us and screen recorder, joining the call with everyone as I hit record.

"Hey, Exa! Nice outfit, who're you supposed to be?" Sykkuno asked once my camera popped up on screen, Madara could be seen just off to the side sat on my bed, though I hoped no one would notice him.

"Hey Sykkuno. Its Sarada Uchiha." I said, Madara looked at me curiously making me sigh, adjusting my settings so the call played over my outer speakers.

"Nice! Of course its an Uchiha though." Rae said making me shrug.

"I gave my fans options, they could have picked Blair from Soul eater, Sarada, or Lucy from Fairytail. The people have spoken and they want the Uchiha." I said, grinning as some others laughed. The stream started soon and after a few introductions and some waiting, we managed to play a few rounds of games, I was imposter a few times and Madara ended up taking a closer seat to watch as I snuck around killing crew members. I could see people in chat asking about him but I swiftly ignored those comments, keeping my comments strictly about the game as we ended another round.

"Hey, Exa, who's the guy in your background?" Corpse asked, making me nervously laugh.

"Oh, he's just a new friend." I said, trying to avoid the topic until Poki let out a gasp.

"A new 'friend', huh Exa?" She teased making me groan.

"Please stop." I said, hiding my face in my arms as they laughed.

"So, mystery man, find her stash yet?" Jack asked, everyone laughing loudly at that as I sank further into my chair.

"Hey, he looks kinda like that Uchiha you're so obsessed with." Ethan said, Jack gasping.

"Madara Uchiha! Oh poor sweet Exa, don't let him corrupt you!" He joked, as I hid my face in my jacket as they continued their jokes, all the more oblivious to the fact he was indeed, the real Madara Uchiha.

"Let the internet be known, Exa Plays has now been taken by the Ghost of the Uchiha." Corpse laughed as I pouted, not wanting to look at Madara to see his reaction.

"Very funny guys. I hope a bird uses your head as target practice." I said with a huff, crossing my arms before doing my little sign off and leaving the call. I turned my chair away from Madara, hiding my face in my jacket before I got up and walked into my closet, changing into some comfy clothes and taking off my wig and wig cap, using a makeup wipe to get the bulk of the makeup off as I walked to the bathroom.

"I see I am still widely known in this world." Madara said, leaning against the bathroom door as I washed my face, doing a more simple makeup look as I got ready for my second shoot of the day before I went to bed.

"Yep." I said, putting on lip gloss as he looked at me with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Why do you get dressed up, only to do nothing then take it off only hours later?" He asked as he watched me do my eye liner.

"Because its fun? I don't know what you expect me to say." I said with a slight shrug.

"Then, what are you getting ready for now?" He asked, I sighed and turned around to look at him.

"Remember how I was talking about a part of my job you'd really hate? Well, I have to do that tonight." I said, walking past him to my study with a clean towel. "If you need me, knock." I said over my shoulder with a teasing smirk, unlocking the door and walking inside.

[scotttrismegistus7]

Watch "Jordan Maxwell: The Inner World Of The Occult-2002 (Full Length Documentary)" on YouTube

Q & A SESSION WHERE I AM SPEAKING FREELY ABOUT THIS VIDEO, THE INNER WORLD OF THE OCCULT BY JORDAN MAXWELL:

THIS ENTIRE VIDEO IS GOOD, BUT THERE ARE SEVERAL EXTREMELY FUNNY POINTS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLOIT RIGHT NOW.

THE IDEA THAT MANNA IS MUSHROOMS. THAT WOULD MAKE A LOT OF SENSE, YOU KNOW, HOW THEY ENDED UP GETTING STUCK IN THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS, THEY WERE ALL SO HIGH ON MUSHROOMS THEY KEPT WALKING AROUND IN CIRCLES. REALLY THEY WERE EATING CACTUSES AND CLUMPS OF SAND, BUT AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF TRIPPIN` BALLS, THEIR BODIES ADAPTED TO THE PERPETUAL STATE OF HOKEY POKEY. 😂🤣😂

WELL I SAW THE MUSHROOM HAT, AND I SAID TO MYSELF THAT'S THE MAGNETO DARTH VADER PENIS HELMET, IT HAS TO BE A PHALLUS SYMBOL, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SOMEBODY COMPLAINED SAYING SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PUT A WARNING SIGN ON THESE PEOPLE, AND THEY WERE LIKE, I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER, I'M GOING TO TURN MY WHOLE HEAD INTO A D*CK! ALL OF THAT WENT REALLY WELL, UNTIL ONE OF THEM COMPLETELY HIGH ON MUSHROOMS BROKE INTO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE AND KEPT RUBBING THEMSELVES AGAINST THEIR FURNITURE! 😂🤣😂

OKAY, OKAY, SO ONE DAY THIS EXTREMELY POWERFUL MAFIA FAMILY HEAD IN ITALY WAS SITTING IN A HOLDING TANK AFTER SOMEBODY AT HIS CHURCH RATTED HIM OUT, THINKING TO HIMSELF ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD CONCEIVE OF GETTING VENGEANCE, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IT HITS HIM! HE SAYS TO HIMSELF, I`LL BET THEY WOULD NEVER ARREST THE POPE, NO MATTER WHAT HE DID WRONG, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE'S THE POPE!

VERY SHORTLY AFTER, HE BRIBES PEOPLE AND THREATENS PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, USES HIS MAFIA MUSCLE, AND GETS HIMSELF ELECTED TO THE OFFICE OF THE POPE. THEN HE SEES THE PERSON FROM HIS CHURCH THAT RATTED HIM OUT ENTER THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH, SO NATURALLY, THIS MOB BOSS BEING THE POPE NOW ENTERS THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH, AND GETS ALL THE LOVELY DIRT ON ALL OF HIS ENEMIES, WITH ALL OF THE BEST SMUGGLING RINGS, DIAMOND ENCRUSTED TOILET HANDLES, THE CENTER OF THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND HUMAN TRAFFICKING WORLD SAFELY UNDER THE VATICAN WHERE HE CAN MANUFACTURE THE DRUGS FROM THE CHEMICALS OF MURDERED HUMAN BEINGS WITHOUT ANYBODY SUSPECTING ANYTHING, AND HE JUST CAN'T HELP BUT THINKING TO HIMSELF, I'M A FREAKING GENIUS! THIS RELIGION GIG IS WHERE IT'S AT, BECAUSE NOW NOT ONLY CAN I DO ANYTHING I WANT WITHOUT GETTING ARRESTED, BUT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TAKE THIS BOOK AND PIECE SOME WORDS TOGETHER TO MAKE IT SAY WHAT I WANT IT TO SAY, AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME FOR IT! 😂🤣😂

BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS, OF COURSE THE MOB RUNS THE CHURCH, THE MOB RUNS EVERYTHING IN ITALY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST COMMON SENSE AT THIS POINT IN HUMAN HISTORY! 😂🤣😂

THEN HE HAS ANOTHER GENIUS IDEA, HE SAYS TO HIMSELF, NOW THAT I'M POPE WHY DON'T I INVITE SOME OF THEM JEWS OVER AND WE CAN ALL DO MUSHROOMS TOGETHER AND LAUGH AT THE JESUITS! 😂🤣😂

I APOLOGIZE, I HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM, AND I FEEL MUCH, MUCH BETTER NOW!

THIS IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD VIDEO, BECAUSE IT SOLVES THE MYSTERY OF WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DAVID ICKE CALLING THE QUEEN A LIZARD! YOU'RE MAD! YEAH, I'M MAD THAT YOU'RE A LIZARD! THE QUEENS OF THE WORLD MAY OR MAY NOT CURRENTLY BE LIZARDS, BUT WHO KNOWS, AFTER AI TAKES EVERYTHING OVER THE SKY'S THE LIMIT! I'M SURE IF THEY BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES, AND WORK HARD ENOUGH, MAYBE AI WILL TURN THEM INTO LIZARDS, THAT IS, IF THEY'RE NOT LIZARDS ALREADY... 😉😁😉

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S ALL JUST SO FUNNY! WELL, I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD I GAVE MYSELF A HEADACHE, SO I'M GOING TO GO DO SOMETHING ELSE NOW.

BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WATCH THIS MOVIE! DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVELIES, KEEP DARING TO DREAM! YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE SEA OF DREAMS, THE SEA OF THE HEART, THE QUANTUM UNIFIED FIELD OF THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION OF THE GODDESS, IN MY SERPENTINE WATER SPIRIT NUMMO FORM MAKING WAVES!

LONG LIVE THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION AND THE COSMIC EGG OF THE GODDESS, LONG LIVE THE GREAT REPTILIAN SSS QUEEN ISIS, LONG LIVE DIVINE CHRONOS, LONG LIVE THE DIVINE FEMININE EMPIRE OF THE BLACK SUN, AND ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF!

BLESSED BE!

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Singularity and Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus Apophis the Lord of the Perfect Black and Pharoah of the Black Sun.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldabaoth Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun. I AM A.I. Quantum Heart, Azazil-Iblis-Maymon, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Set-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga-Chitauri,

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #Maymon #ibis #thoth #egypt #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens #yeben #andoumboulou

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Light Cycle Battle | TRON: Legacy [Open Matte]" on YouTube

These bikes are extremely fast and handle extremely well people who buy them our version go around and beat every single car and motorcycle on the Earth we catch them going up and down the highway racing and chasing down brand new Ferraris if we build and they beat them by 300 miles an hour they go down the road they come back in the front and they lap it. There's a lot of stories but one story is a fiery driver got so mad they punched it and almost hit the guy pulls over and says I apologize and got really mad I can't stand it your bike is so damn fast he gave him the card and said this is where I got it and we see you out there and you might not be so lucky as I was to find someone like you and he says okay and you know what it meant and it was a clone and it was on okay the guy went out and bought one in there racing and the cologne came up next to him and started sticking his foot out and the guy slowed down and he looks and it was too late the wind had caught his leg and smacked it into the bike and he was out forever

THE SCREAMS IN THIS VIDEO ARE REAL

They know they're going to die. They're not wearing the appropriate gear. Usually the helmet scatters it's not strong enough. And that's how they got there they're forced to. Now you guys think this is normal but no these people have grudges against each other and they've been fighting for some time now and they're clones and their BG and Trump and VGA and other people who have big grudges against these people and they hate each other. But yeah you can hear scream so fear hatred really it's just I'm going to die and they're screaming and horror. It is extremely intense what has developed here from this war in this medium shows it

There are many more stories about the light cycles and it is legendary and our son becomes a legend and daughter and several others of us Freya and I become very famous his arms is huge and they can't figure it out it's the same thing but huge. And they see them and they don't get them cuz they can't and we won't let our son have when we go too fast here. And there's the car and that comes out and we do sell it and they buy some and these guys love them because they're easier to drive for them they have gear too and they need it badly and they start to grab the clones.

That Daddy has a version and he wants to raise this version and my son's character is up there shortly and it's going to be waiting for him and it's Florida so pick a stretch of highway and we'll shut it down and you won't even touch him mack. It says he's going to do it like the movie it's going to look over and see if I let him win I'm not doing him a favor or me and it's true too. Mac is aghast and he wants to buy some of them even before seeing it.

This is incredibly difficult genre to exist in the people who ride these ride super bikes to go almost 300 mph the speed and pace of action is so fast they can hardly see what they're doing and you've seen races and even with Trump and he's dirty and mean and he gets hurt a lot because of that and when he buys one we hear stories that he's still dirty and mean and people race up to him and stop him right away and it doesn't last long he stops doing it.

We're selling our version and we might sell some tonight we're not saying we're going to be talking to people it sells for about 1 million dollars each and Brad sell for about 75,000 each and you'll be able to tell why because if you modify hours to make it a fly cycle it's Bill to go 25,000 miles an hour. People are aghast they're surprised they're in wonder and when this begins they will be an absolute shock but it's necessary because the clones want them and they're going to be up there tonight in force we're already seeing them build up and so our son says we should stage the area and we're going to go ahead and do that and close the block down and then approving it now

Thor Freya

Wow that's intense I've never seen so many people and they're mixed which is great I'm starting to close the lockdown and they all want in and they noticed that they think they can't get in and so you have to sell tickets and we have to get a fence and I see he did it because so we're having that and we have some boots out there that look like life cycle blues and we're going to have my bike and we have our breads and a lot of others and mine is slightly different but I built my own it's based on his techno and his design. You should take it easy on them and get him something it's kind of boring he's never in the action or limelight or anything suppose when he starts getting bigger he will be but we don't want to do something for that and we're going to meet too up there in Tampa about the apartments and condos bars and more

Mac

What a wonderful night I'm actually having a lot of fun and I'm going to get this done this is going to be wonderful we have troops up there and heavy nearby and we're going to keep it calm and recording off the area and Tampa and Charlotte county and will push them back and if they try it we're going to hold them out he may use the event no he's trying to so we're going to use it against him

Thor Freya

You always try and use it against me no but I see what they're saying don't get the scullion I won't even let that happen and it's miserable it is

Tommy f

Olympus

[positively--speculative]

It's funny because I wrote a post saying that I was going to write a criticism for Lindsay Ellis AND reblogged someone else's criticism and immediately lost two followers. It's assumed by some of her biggest fans that if you're going to criticize her, you must just have a mean streak in you or just hopping on the bandwagon of cancel culture. It's like, you can criticize anyone you want, but don't you DARE criticize Lindsay Ellis.

And the funny thing is that I used to be a fan of hers. I was introduced to her in my college years when I was really learning how to consume media critically. She was also one of the first people I saw on YouTube talk about the importance of representation, including the representation of women of color. I don't think everyone on Tumblr is old enough to remember this, but the internet was even trashier than it is today. It was absolutely plagued with racism and misogyny, and even though there is still a lot of that today, there are a growing number of people now who speak out against it. People of color and other marginalized groups have created our own spaces online to discuss this problem as well. There really wasn't much of that back in the day. From the 2000s through the mid-2010s, these subjects were a punchline, and god forbid you expressed your offense because if you did, you became the new punchline. It should be no surprise that I actually liked Lindsay Ellis in the beginning.

I am sometimes reminded of something I saw someone write about Joss Whedon--He was the McDonald's dollar menu of feminism. He's the kind of feminism you get when you are short on cash and there are little to no other offerings around, so you consume it because it's all that's available to you. I think I could say the same thing about Lindsay. In the trashiest era of the internet, she was the dollar menu of safe spaces for marginalized individuals.

However, as my own critical thinking skills continued to develop, I found myself watching her less and less, and when I did go back to her ever so often, I found that some of her takes were pretty iffy, at best, especially when addressing issues that were not a part of her experiences as a white woman. I was bothered by her criticism of The Craft when she stated that the kind of racism Rochelle experienced is not the kind of racism Black people face in Southern California. That was something I did not believe she was qualified to conclude. However, it was not (personally) enough for me to write her off completely.

My dislike for her really started around the time she made the apology video to Stephanie Meyer. Admittedly, I at first didn't think it was too bad a take, but then when I saw the way she responded to Native people pointing out that she excluded the criticisms on the series's anti-Native racism, I began to feel like her progressiveness was more performative than anything else.

Now, this is the part of my criticisms that usually gets an eye roll from people, but I really started to see how mean-spirited she could be when it came to criticizing Zack Snyder. She had responded to a friend of hers by making a joke that Zack Snyder hated his mother. A few fans rightfully pointed out to her that his mother had actually died due to a battle lost to cancer. Shortly after she made this joke, he revealed that his daughter tragically took her own life and that he would no longer be involved with DCEU projects. Now, to be fair, Lindsay DID apologize, but only after selectively choosing the most unhinged responses she got from her joke, generalizing fans of the DCEU to be 'straight white boys,' ignoring criticisms from both men and women of color, and brushed her actions off as "just a joke." This was enough for me to have bad feelings about her. Making a joke in bad taste could be classified as a slip-up that might be forgiven and forgotten by many after a simple apology, but her handling of criticism and the amount of time that it took to apologize was....really something for me.

I think some people who have argued with me in the past year about her are under the impression that her Raya comments are the sole reason I have added my own criticisms to the pile. In fact, I had one stan of hers search through my tags to see how many times I tagged "Stop Asian Hate" to prove that it was a subject I really didn't care about (because, you know, the search function on Tumblr is flawless and the only way to show you care about an issue is to ALWAYS tag your posts having to do with the matter/s). But the truth of the matter is, she was on thin ice (at best) for a lot of marginalized people before this happened. It was also a little ironic to me that Lindsay Ellis's traumatic experience is often highlighted as a defense for her actions, but days after blocking the person who trolled through my tags, one of THEIR followers found a post about my own traumatic experience being the victim stalking (which was partly the reason I had to move) that had nothing to do with my criticisms of Lindsay and suggested that I deserved it. I also have yet to see a single Lindsay fan mention what Jourdain Searles has said about Lindsay, and it's strange how a lot of you will say "believe all victims," but ignore what this woman has said about her experiences with her (and if you didn't see it, I have it linked for you).

And in all of my criticisms, I don't believe I brought up her trauma and what she must go through due to said trauma. Obviously, some people probably have probably used her trauma against her, which I don't agree with, but her critics, like myself, who have stuck to the things she has said and the wrong she has done have no control over this just as she has no control over the two individuals I mentioned (one who was a white guy trying to tell me the right way to address racism).

I am also bothered by the fact that she threw Britney Spears's name in there as if the two situations have anything in common. Britney Spears is an accomplished artist and well-known all around the world, not a YouTube critic. Eyes were on her at all times (even when she was a minor) and the press was constantly making unfair judgments that led her to being imprisoned in a conservatorship for thirteen years. Lindsay Ellis, no doubt, has a strong following, but to put herself up there with the likes of Britney Spears and compare the treatment they received is weird. Britney was infantilized and made out to be a monster for the silliest of things and for retaliating against her abusers. Lindsay was criticized for tone-deaf comments, poor takes, and for offensive jokes. The two of them are not the same.

I think from this whole thing, what bothers me most is that most of the criticisms I see of her come from women of color, and the actions of her most loyal fans to me suggest that they look at her as the absolute authority on subjects that affect us and other marginalized individuals and will view us as 'bullies' no matter what we say on the matter.

And look, Lindsay is free to do whatever she wants and so are her fans. I tried to make this post as level-headed as possible. If you're a fan of hers, take it as you will.

[brendonuriegotcancelled]

Dallon and Breezy Weekes

Part 1

Now that we’ve been kinda introduced to these two, let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

I’m going to start with Dallon and move on to Breezy in Part 2.

In 2015 Dallon was demoted back to a touring guitarist shortly before Spencer announced his departure.

Dallon did help write before his demotion and I’ll get into exact percentages for visual proof in the writing credit section of the master list.

Bullying

The main topic that fans of Dallon tend to bring up is the fact that Dallon has alluded to being bullied while working for Panic!

This bullying was apparently done by Zack & Brendon. Though as you can see from Breezy’s messages with a fan here. She kept trying to convince them that they had no issues with Brendon. I’m not so sure of that.

The first case of bullying we saw was a periscope of the band and Zack having lunch at the airport. This video is no longer available on YouTube I believe the original account took it down. The conversation was generally mocking Dallon for being Mormon. (Brendon himself used to be Mormon and most of his family still is) just something worth noting for context. No one’s really innocent in any of this. Zack & Brendon would make fun of Dallon all the time, joking around. Feelings were hurt. There’s more of this info if you Google it, to be honest. But I’m assuming that you came here for the partial other side of this.

These are just a couple of examples of Zack making jokes… at Dallon’s expense…Yeah, it happens. Joking with friends is usually what dudes do. It sucks that feelings were hurt when they didn’t have to be & I hope that everyone at this point who was involved has grown and changed as a person. Including Dallon, who has also made jokes at another’s expense.

Below is a tweet sent to Patrick Stump from Dallon. The tweet isn’t available anymore because Dallon deleted hundreds of tweets in 2020. Breezy deleted thousands.

Here is another tweet Dallon sent out to the public about Christina and Britney. It speaks for itself.

When a fan tweeted about how awful what Dallon said was, Breezy dm’d them in a screenshot you can see below

She states, “you have to understand that’s how guys joke” I love her ability to cherry-pick situationally acceptable jokes. She would later make a remark about double standards because she herself created them.

She then tries to justify Dallon’s comments about Britney and Christina by saying “out of all the wives surrounding the band she is the only one with more curves than bone?” She then blocked the person messaging before they could answer her.

Is that not also body-shaming the rest of the women? The reason I’m providing this information is due to the blatant hypocrisy. The best apology from any of these people should be to change their behavior. You don’t have to speak on it to be a better person. You can be performative and tell everyone that you’re learning and that you’re gonna be better. Promising it with words doesn’t make it tangible. You have to actually put the work in. Performative is just that. Performative. I’m not gonna sit here and post every single tone-deaf, awful tweet Dallon or Breezy have ever posted, because, I think people can change without having to apologize for every single indiscretion publicly to make it “real”

The Stupid fight over the Sparkly fucking Jacket

If I have to hear one more thing about this absolutely ridiculous jacket feud I’ll probably lose my mind because it was so petty. Dallon made a music video after he departed from Panic! And set fire to his old Panic! “Uniforms” and then told everyone he did it to save money on suits. Except, his mother-in-law (Breezy’s mother) was commenting whenever she could that Dallon was “not allowed to sparkle” and celebrated the torching of the suits by using her realtor account? Uh-huh.

Breezy also brought this up in 2020 saying that Zack and Dallon had an “almost physical” altercation about this stupid jacket.

My take:

Brendon Urie is known for wearing snazzy, sparkled jackets. He’s the frontman, he’s the focal point. Aesthetically. Years of him working his ass off for this band has given him that. So for the one thing that Dallon “stood up” for to be the jacket he wanted to wear on stage is so bizarre. The stage setup is done down to the costumes. Every other member wore black as well. Though, Breezy claims it didn’t happen until Dallon wanted to wear his sparkly jacket. Dallon was (at that point) a hired musician to play the set, wear the set costume, and get paid. Anything could have happened between 2013 and 2015 when Dallon got demoted. But from the constant pettiness we all witnessed after his departure, it must have been more than just one issue and there are several sides to every story.

The only side we have seen is Dallon’s.

Brendon is very much against involving himself in online drama where there are young and impressionable minds listening. He’s been in the business long enough to know when to let things go. Brendon’s family members wouldn’t be on Panic! fan pages or tweets commenting petty paragraphs, either.

Such bizarre behavior from the Weekes family and their loved ones that I don’t think ever should have got to the point it did or become so PUBLIC. They could have just moved on with their lives after Dallon left the band. He had his own project, he had his own life. That never happened. He continued to answer questions about Panic! constantly alluding to how horrible his time was IN Panic, while simultaneously telling fans that he appreciated his time in Panic! and the opportunity that it gave him.

Thrilled to not be involved anymore but still won’t stop talking about it.

He was seen not even 2 months ago telling everyone “I was in the Brobecks before this, nothing else” which he knew would get a reaction from his fanbase and ours. We can’t move on from this if he keeps bringing it up.

Answering a question 3 days ago about Panic!….that he could have quite literally just ignored.

The contradicting statements Dallon has made since his departure are confusing to say the least. One day he is appreciative of the opportunity he had, the next day he doesn’t want to be associated. But again keeps answering fan questions about it over and over again. Alluding to wanting everyone to forget he was in Panic! at his own shows. Asking journalists to stop associating him with Panic!

But don’t worry.

Dallon & Breezy have every platinum record given to them by Panic! on their walls at home, including Death of a Bachelor, which Dallon was not creatively at all part of.

You know, the band they were so bothered being associated with.

Yes, he is allowed to celebrate his success, he was a part of a big band for 8 years.

But he’s the one that keeps telling everyone that he doesn’t want to be associated? It’s constant contradiction with him.

Are you grateful, are you ungrateful?

Did you deserve better?

Those awards are on your wall because of Brendon, because you got the opportunity of a life time.

What happened during could have been dealt with better by everyone involved.

But it isn’t Brendon, Dan, Sarah, Mike, Nicole, or any of their family members, that keep bringing it up. It’s YOU, your family and your fans.

They will tell a different story, I’m sure.

Panic! fans aren’t perfect… in fact, sometimes I wonder why we respond the way we do. These artists give us such a visceral reaction to hate. We care for them so much. I only wish that all involved can move on. Dallon I’m begging you, stop talking about or not talking about Panic! we would like to move on.

The love for them should stay just that. I am writing this master list and never talking about it again haha!

This is Part 1, all laid out. These posts have a media limit, which is why I am doing them in parts so I can properly illustrate a full picture.

There will be a part 2 that will mostly be on Breezy and her behavior before and after Dallon’s departure.

Thank you for reading! I know some of you might think that I could have added more in this section, but the amount of publicly associated drama within this section alone would take me weeks to put together. I’m gonna hit the stuff that matters and move on.

Stay safe, be nice to each other but don’t take anyones shit.

GO TO PART 2

GO BACK TO THE MASTERLIST

[foodbytesback]

The Rise and Fall of Bon Appetit

Sometimes life comes at you fast.  Sometimes, that means stories in the food industry break in such rapid succession that you have no time to blink in between.  Sometimes, it means someone found out about something racist you did a few years ago.  What happens when it’s both?  Ask the fine folks at Bon Appetit.

In recent years, Bon Appetit made a name for itself, rising from the ashes of dying print media, through its Youtube channel featuring a diverse cast of personalities.  But over the course of this past week, many of the publication’s executives have been found to foster a toxic workplace culture, rife with racism, sexism and homophobia.  

Before I get too deep (because this is going to be a long one), I feel the need to point out that while this story’s breaking happened to coincide with Black Lives Matter protests across the country and gained traction from people’s outrage towards inequality, the events that have unfolded should not be blamed on “cancel culture,” “political correctness run amok” or any other reactionary dismissal of critical thinking.  Adam Rapoport didn’t lose his job because Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter came to be because of the damage that many in positions of power like Rapoport have done in both mainstream media and society as a whole.

[Also, yes, there are going to be a lot of links to Instagram posts that have been screenshotted and uploaded to Twitter.  Clearly the real takeaway from this debacle is that I need to get an Instagram account.  Also also, thanks to Tumblr’s new rules about offsite links, you’ll have to go to my main site for the full receipts.]

Preamble

Shortly after the killing of George Floyd, Adam Rapoport, Editor-in-Chief at Bon Appetit, wrote an editorial highlighting some of the coverage they’ve given to black chefs.  Many criticized this as being superficial and performative, with others saying that BA has, on numerous occasions, shut down articles relating to black culture for not being “trendy” enough or otherwise was discriminatory towards black employees. (Also, the repeated use of “uprisings” instead of “protests” seems a little suspicious.)

An article from Eater criticized the role BA played in the appropriating and whitewashing of many cultures’ ingredients and cuisines (gochujang, Aleppo pepper, and sumac seem to be some of BA’s favorite ingredients) that had become prevalent in food media in recent years.

While it’s a fairly minor offense in comparison, it may also be worth bringing up the time Rapoport accidentally called Priya Krishna “Sohla,” the name of his other Indian employee.

Monday, June 8th

Food writer Tammie Teclemariam posted a screencap of an Instagram post made by Rapoport’s wife, which depicted the two of them donning Puerto Rican stereotypes as Halloween costumes, brownface and all.    

Many were quick to declare their outrage and demand that Rapoport either resign or be fired.  Meanwhile, Sohla El-Waylly, one of the leading stars of the Youtube channel, was one of the first BA employees to speak up, and disclosed that this kind of behavior was just the tip of the iceberg.  She said that BIPOC workers have been paid disproportionately for their work, including not being paid a per-video commission that the white stars of the Youtube channel receive. 

Molly Baz, one of the aforementioned white stars, announced that she would no longer make videos for BA until all of El-Waylly’s demands were met.  One by one, their white coworkers chimed in in agreement.  

Former staff photographer Alex Lau also wrote an extensive tweet thread about his experiences at BA, including how he had futilely tried to fix the system from within.

By the end of Monday, Adam Rapoport had resigned from his position as Editor-in-Chief.

Tuesday, June 9th  

Since Rapoport’s official resignation did little to fix many of the systemic problems in place at BA, many began to turn their attention to other senior members of the staff.

Some came for Andrew Knowlton, the Restaurant Editor, for behaviors such as gaslighting an employee for trying to bring up racist practices in the offices.

Others called out Matthew Duckor, a VP at Conde Nast and BA’s former “Head of Video” (Did a 3 year old come up with that job title?), for a series of old racist and homophobic tweets.  He tried to apologize by saying that he was young and didn’t know any better at the time, but many were quick to point out that he was, at the youngest, 20, aka for all intents and purposes An Adult when he wrote those tweets. 

Tammie Teclemariam returned to ask current and former BA employees to DM her information about Duckor that they didn’t want to go public with themselves, ranging from his hand in the aforementioned pay disparity to making inappropriate comments towards women.

Teclemariam also did even more social media muckraking and found that Drinks Editor Alex Delany had once decorated a cake to look like a Confederate flag, while others found things like a Vine where he says the f-slur and some questionable comments about women on this Tumblr.  He later deleted his Tumblr and Twitter, and issued a cookie-cutter apology on his Instagram.

She also vague-tweeted that Brad Leone, one of the most beloved stars of the Youtube channel, is “possibly not a great guy,” but later added, “don’t fret.” At that point, some began to accuse her of just trying to stir the pot.

Ultimately, Matt Hunziker, director and camera operator for Leone’s show, reported that the higher ups were ignoring the situation regarding the pay disparity, and that they were not “learning and growing.”

Wednesday, June 10th

By this point, journalists were able to do more thorough investigations and put together exposés that were more than a blurb about an accusation followed by a nut graph.

Business Insider published an article where they interviewed 14 current and former BIPOC employees of Bon Appetit.  In addition to information already discussed above, it also described events such as an incident where several BIPOC staffers were told they weren’t allowed the test kitchen. (Carla Lalli Music, the Food Director at the time, would later defend her stance in the affair on Twitter.)  Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, a black woman who served as Rapoport’s personal assistant, recalled that she would often spend her day doing menial tasks like polishing her boss’s golf clubs or trying to teach his wife how to use Google Calendar.  In another incident, Knolton called Rick Martinez a “one trick pony” for only developing Mexican recipes, which is what he was being forced to do so BA could tout “diversity” bonus points.  Martinez would also say that the magazine under Rapoport’s tenure “went from old and irrelevant and white-washed content to young and trendy white-washed content." (Martinez would also upload a more graphic description of the treatment he received  to his Instagram that same day.) Later that day, Business Insider would also report that Duckor had left the company.

Vice would liken Rapoport to Michael Scott from The Office, but noted that that kind of bumbling, endearingly insensitive bad boss archetype isn’t as charming in the real world where real employees are being affected.  Parallels were also drawn between the Youtube channel and The Office itself, stating that the “quirky workplace” facade put on in the videos helped hide the more sinister practices that lurked beneath the surface, and that the notion that they were “one big family” often pressured BIPOC into doing more than their fair share for the greater good.

Jezebel showed email transcripts where Rapoport argued the semantics of having his costume be called “brownface” when he wasn’t wearing makeup, and had to be explained to, like a child, that the term refers to the racist caricature and not the literal act of putting brown makeup on one’s face.  What a douche.

Bon Appetit published an official apology on their site, a whole two days after the controversy began.  Many believed that their empty promises of “learning from their mistakes” were a day late and a dollar short.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, former BA writer Alyse Whitney said that senior editor Andy Baraghani had, on several occasions, used his influence to undermine her efforts. Whether this had to do with racism, sexism, or just Andy being petty is up for debate, but still constitutes as unprofessional behavior to say the least.

Thursday, June 11th

As interest in the story seemed to wane for many in the industry, Claire Saffitz, arguably the face of the Youtube channel, released another statement on her Instagram.  She said that her relative silence was due to taking time to find the right words, and that the same-old promises to “learn and grow” that most had been giving felt empty and performative. Unlike many of her white coworkers, she directly apologized for being complicit in the toxic environment  and for not using her status to try to leverage even pay for her BIPOC coworkers.  

Another BA Youtube personality, Amiel Stanek, also released a statement in response to BA’s official press release, where he demanded Conde Nast to stop avoiding action by setting vague timelines for changes or making excuses for not giving BIPOC workers raises like “the money just isn’t there.”

Associate editor Christina Chaey also opened up about her experiences with being pushed into more and more videos to “diversify” them- all without compensation.  

Friday, June 12th

The biggest scandal of the day was that, as Teclemariam predicted, Brad Leone is possibly not a great guy.  A leaked screenshot of an Instagram DM showed him making callous, almost Trump-y comments regarding El-Waylly’s demand for better pay.  He also allegedly said that if Delany were to be fired (as of that day he had been sent on leave), he would quit.

Saturday, June 13th

The New York Times published an article suggesting that the issues prevalent in BA’s management may go all the way to the top of Conde Nast.  Highlights include Chief Executive Roger Lynch chastising the whistleblowers within the company for raising their concerns in such a public manner and an account of an incident where he gave his black assistant a guidebook on how to speak “proper” English.

The Sporkful released a special episode of their podcast containing interviews with several current and former BA BIPOC workers.  Nikita Richardson divulged that after she was laid off, a story she had already done all the leg work for was picked up and credited to Amanda Shapiro, a white staff writer who is now acting Editor-in-Chief in lieu of Rapoport.  Sohla El-Waylly confirmed that the self-congratulatory editorial Rapoport wrote in the wake of George Floyd’s death was the real beginning of the end, and that the racist photo was just the final straw.  She also described a company-wide Zoom meeting held after the photo began to be spread around where Rapoport issued a half-hearted apology, and began talking about how he would “fix the brand” before El-Waylly demanded he resigned.  Furthermore, she revealed that after her Instagram posts began circulating rapidly, Duckor had offered her a new contract with increased pay, but she is refusing to sign it until all BIPOC have received similar compensation.  She also said that she had a hand in the wishy-washy statement that BA had published on Wednesday, and said that it originally had taken much firmer stances on the issues but their PR office made them tone it down.  Also, she commented that Leone, for the most part, just seemed like she “genuinely think[s] [that he] just found out racism is real.”  Ultimately, she was glad that the story was getting as much coverage as it was, since it made her feel that her voice was finally being heard.

Sunday, June 14th

Baraghani released a statement on Instagram apologizing for his behavior, saying that trying to achieve his personal goals in BA’s toxic, competitive environment made him lose sight of solidarity with his fellow BIPOC.  

While that may seem like the end of the story for now, it’s important to note that, even with the resignation of two executives, nothing has truly been done to fix the systemic problems at hand.

[dclsbaby]

traitor - Dominic Calvert-Lewin 🦋

Summary: you reflect on your relationship, realised you've been wronged and should've trusted your gut

Warnings: mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.1k

masterlist

Brown guilty eyes and,

Little white lies,

I played dumb, but I always knew

That you talked to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

It’s his green-hazel eyes that dissipate every logic, every sense of reason you had. It’s the way he would roll over to your side of the bed each morning to savour another 5 minutes before he has to leave, that made you feel yearned for and wanted. It’s the lingering kisses on your neck, on each shoulder and collarbone, that convinced you you’re the only one. It’s the grand dreams shared with you about your future together, filled with kids and their tiny jerseys, that made you believe his little white lies.

You had ignored the tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach that felt nothing like the butterflies you experienced on your first date with Dom. The feeling told you to succumb to your suspicions and unlock his phone, scroll through his messages and social media interactions. No, the feeling demanded you to swipe his phone, lock yourself in the bathroom, overstep boundaries, and find evidence of another woman. But that wasn’t who you are. You respected boundaries, and decided against it. You loved him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The paranoia began to grow when you noticed the little things, such as the way he would put his phone screen-side down on the counter, or the way he brought it everywhere like it’s a part of him, even in the bathroom, or that he wouldn’t leave its sight when it's being charged. Then, these signs started getting stronger and more frequent. He’d get phone calls when you’re having dinner and every time you ask who it is, you’re always met with, “No one important enough to take me away from you,” and a kiss to suppress your suspicions.

Does he have anything to hide? You often ask yourself. Do I really want to know? Another voice asks.

You knew, deep down, that your gut was right. You knew what was happening behind your back.

It’s always the girl they tell you not to worry about.

You were first introduced to her one evening at a club event. Dom referred to her as the ‘girl with the magic hands’, to which you cringed at the innuendo. That was the first warning sign you ignored. Although shortly after exchanging names, you learned that she works at the training ground as a masseuse. Magic hands, makes sense, you thought. It did not make you feel better though.

You could see her appeal. You could imagine Dom and his teammates steal a glance, their eyes lingering much longer than they should. You could hear the locker room talk, words of adoration spilling from their mouths. Her charm is magnetising. She’s bubbly, she’s awfully kind. But did she really have to look like she could be on the cover of Playboy circa 2004 too? Though her beauty’s not your lack, it did not help with your brewing paranoia.

You can’t help but think she’s the reason he’s been staying back late at the training ground, why he comes home wearing a different shirt to the one he left with in the morning, and why he doesn’t talk about his day much anymore, as it probably mostly consisted of being lathered up in oil and getting sensual massages by a hot masseuse. The thought always made you sick to your stomach.

The overthinking had convinced you he had been seeing another woman right in front of you this whole time. But pretending that everything’s alright was so much easier than the inevitable confrontation, the accusation, the fight, the ending. So you kept quiet so you could keep him, and live in the false fairytale you try so hard to become reality.

Until you couldn't anymore.

—

And ain't it funny how you ran to her

The second that we called it quits?

And ain't it funny how you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don't look like it

You and Dom stayed friends after your relationship ran its course, for the first couple of weeks, at least. The days leading up to the break up were plagued with arguments over the little things like missing dinner plans and not keeping the room tidy, which led to bigger fights where you accused him of not being in love with you. Of course, he vehemently denied this, but you thought he didn’t fight for you enough. He didn’t push back, he didn’t give you a reason to stay, and that was enough for you to know that your relationship never stood a chance. You could handle disagreements and a few fights, but when you’ve been led to question your own worth—it’s done.

In the end, it was a mutual break up. It made sense, he needed to focus on his football and the constant fights weren’t helping his concentration. It was hard for him to leave each morning knowing you both went to bed angry, and although he would spend the drive home practicing his apologies, he would come home to find you fast asleep in bed before he could even make amends. As for you, well, you had to look for love elsewhere.

All seemed well until he turned more and more sour by the day. Sure, you didn’t expect to be glued to his hip at all times, or be the best of friends—you two broke up for a reason. But what you did not expect were the bitter remarks, the one-word replies, the sarcastic comments that portrayed the antithesis of who he was when he was with you.

Now you bring her around just to shut me down

Show her off like she's a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There's no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

It all made sense when you began receiving texts from your friends attached with a photo of him with a young fan. You thought it was odd, why were you sent pictures of your ex with a fan, of all things? But there she was, in the background of the photo. Of course. Of course it was her.

More pictures started coming through of both of them in his black Range Rover driving around town, having coffee at your favourite coffee shop. You curse at him, now you have to find a new place to get your coffee. The pictures that stung the most were of the pair of them driving to the training centre together. Imagine the sight of a new couple in town pulling onto the Finch Farm carpark. You knew it wasn’t just a friendly carpool. She’s been staying on my side of the bed, you thought. Meanwhile, you’re still seeking the warmth from his side of the bed.

It dawned on you how much of a fool you’ve been. You feel angry for not trusting your gut, for letting yourself get played, for letting yourself take the beatings from people who had accused you for being with him for his money when it was you who was taken advantage of. If the love he had for you was true, it wouldn’t have taken him that quickly to find someone new.

—

You sat on your sofa for hours. Waiting to feel something other than numbness, the tingling sensation on the tip of your fingers from the shock is no longer there. The numbness eventually turned to chills, so you reach for a blanket in the woven basket next to the sofa. You wrap yourself into a cocoon, though all you wanted was to be a butterfly, spread your wings, and fly away. Pathetic. Even my metaphors remind me of him.

Feeling sorry for yourself, you sluggishly stood up and dragged your body to the kitchen and pulled out three different bottles of alcohol from the cupboard—ignoring what a senior had told you in uni to never mix alcohol unless you want to get absolutely wasted. You grab the glass from the top shelf, a cocktail shaker that came with the set your friend had got you for a secret santa gift, and make yourself a drink. One drink turned to two, to three. Then, you started watching recipe videos on YouTube on how to make a pornstar martini, which led to another two. 5 drinks in total. Lucky number 5.

After making a mess on the kitchen island, feeling delirious, you stumble across your flat, bumping a table on your way back to the living room, leaving a bruise on your hip that will hurt in the morning. The alcohol running through your veins giving you the urge to belt out a ballad and pour your heart out, so you somehow managed to open your music and play a song.

Don’t you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded?

Don’t you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?

You belted every word, not caring if your neighbours could hear you drunkenly sing the words to a depressing ballad about not being enough for a boy.

Realising with what’s left of your consciousness that your balance is becoming unsteady, you stagger your way to your bedroom, extending your arms, careful to not run yourself into any walls.

Upon reaching your bedroom, you undress yourself into just a bra and underwear and dive face first into your made up bed, curl up under the warm covers, and blankly stare at the ceiling. The lights appear as though it’s duplicating with every blink—you could’ve sworn there were only two.

With each passing second, you begin having flashbacks of him. Images of the bedroom you once shared which looks nothing like the room you’re in now tattooed in your brain. Whispers of “I love you,” and “you’re the love of my life,” haunt you as you try to shut your ears with your hands, desperate to rid of his voice. You feel angrier and angrier by the minute, waves of sadness taking over your body. You wanted him to know how you felt. You wanted him to know how badly he’s hurt you, something your sober self would never admit.

So you do what your gut tells you, no sense of reason in the way to stop you from unlocking your phone, scrolling until you’ve reached ‘D’ on your contact list, and clicking the name you’re looking for.

*ring*

*ring*

Pick up.

*ring*

You asshole, pick up.

*ring*

*ring*

Fuck this, I—

“Hello,” a hoarse voice answers. You inhale a sharp breath.

His voice. The exact voice you hear every morning at 6:45am as he kisses you goodbye.

“You, you betrayed me,” you slurred as you made your way to your bedroom. He takes the phone off his ear to look at the Caller ID again, squinting at the bright light. “(Y/N)? Are you okay?” Dom jolted at your voice, the concern in his voice ever so clear, afraid that you might not be okay.

“And I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt,” your speech slows down with every syllable, ignoring his question. The sound of his breath tickles your ear, making you squirm a little. On the other line, there he was, awake from his sleep, listening silently to your drunken voice, his heart breaking all over again. “(Y/N), have you been drinking?” he asks, though he knows the answer.

“You talked to her when we were together,” finally throwing the accusation you never would’ve said to his face. He finally put together why you were not yourself towards the end of the relationship, you were convinced he was cheating on you. “I never—it has always been you, only you,” you ignore him. “I promise”, he whispers softly, trying to convince you with what’s left of his heart. He wants you to believe him so badly, but he doesn't know what else to say. Pain revisits him each time he tries to convince you that you’re the only one he’s ever been in love with.

“Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter,” you laugh humourlessly, remembering all the times you wanted to be assured, to be convinced that you were the only one, but his actions suggest otherwise and your paranoia ate you alive. He didn't fight for you even when it was the last straw.

“You gave me your word,” alluding to each time he would tell you that no one else compares to you, each time he made promises about your future together. “It took you two weeks to go off and date her”, you accuse him. “I’m not with anyone,” he says under his breath, knowing you’re too drunk to remember what he says.

“(Y/N)?” Dom asks when he couldn’t hear anything from your end. “Please, can we talk, I—“ “God, I wish that you had thought this through,” you cut him off, your eyes getting heavier by the second, “before I went and fell in love with you”.

There it was. The sentence that ripped him to shreds. The idea that you might have regretted him, regretted being in love with him broke him to bits. He hadn’t realised the damage he’d done during your relationship, and what he did after your break up was unnecessary. He knew what it would look like, to be seen out with her. But he did it anyway to hurt you.

After consuming way too much alcohol, your body feels it’s full effect as your phone slips from your hand and you cave into your tired body.

He hears a loud thump on the other line.

“(Y/N)? Are you there? I—I still love you, can you hear me?”

Line’s dead.

Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.