#My Three (Four) Mothers
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Another Funguary mother spore.... lilac coral fungus......
cw body horror this time. mushrooms are ~scaryyy
#my art#cw body horror#cw blood#funguary#i'll have to do three and four tomorrow..........#grian#mother spore#i was gonna draw more spores but i got TIRED OF IT
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Criston Cole:
#he was putting in the WORK#a single mum who works three jobs (Knight + Alicent’s therapist + mother of four)#hotd#house of the dragon#criston cole#ser criston cole#team green#my own
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me when i can ignore my whole family by putting on my new noise cancelling headphones
#i live with four unsufferable people and i'm confined in a one room apartment with them for the next three days. send help#or kill my mother and sister.#cate.txt
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mentors! teachers! librarians! old ladies you see at the grocery or the knitting shop once in a while! middle aged men who are regulars at the same hardware store! the teenagers who come to the local game shops board game events and THEIR little siblings!
do you believe you dont share common humanity with any of these people?????
or do you have bizarre ideas gatekeeping the "sanctity" of friendship limiting it to only people you could have gone to high school with???
"what do a 19 and a 28 year old even have in common"
WE ARE ON THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BLUE EARTH AT THE SAME TIME, ENJOYING THE GLORIOUS EXPERIMENT THAT IS HUMANITY, GOOD SIR!!!!!
this isnt even about dating-- like fuck no you couldnt PAY me to date someone in their early twenties NOW!!! but this is how we're being about FRIENDSHIP??????
#when i was fifteen and Going Through It bc i was a Fifteen Year Old Lesbian (though i didnt KNOW that last bit)#one of my truest friendships was with the thirty five year old mother of three at church#she was the mia maids counselor in YW and she is STILL one of the coolest and most charismatic people i know#though we lost touch when their family moved out of state#her oldest is a hs senior now!! im so proud!! but to Me she's still going to be four years old forever#like. when i am Friends with a significantly younger person its not the Same as Friends with age peer#older friends tend to give more to younger friends than they take and vice versa. you dont burden a teenager with the messy details#but you listen to theirs! you give them perspective and a shoulder to cry on and they give you perspective and hope for their bright future#god.#as an Autist who really struggled getting along with my peers as a teenager i was often#relegated to babysitting (which i loved!) bc i Get kids theyre much more straightforward#or to being The Good Kid hanging at the adult table bc i was polite and thought i was So clever#i would not be Me without community#and community is just a web of people supporting each other#what is friendship if not that?
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God I love roommate hunting
#this is jodi. this is her bio#the room was only like $450 a month#much better than all the old men who are like '$200 a month for shared room. i have kids. need you to watch them as part of your rent.#ultimately looking for a companion for me and mother for my kids. rent negotiable. women only'#ive seen like three of those today#or there was one where it was like $600 for a twin bed in a shared room in an 'intentional community'#its hard times out there when youre trying to move but have had like four jobs in the last year and your credit score is in the toilet#this woman is an icon tho#i might. emphasis on might because i dont want to jinx it. have found a room#$600 a month utilities included. private room and bathroom. near my friends and my fav city. month to month lease#thats a steal#and awhile ago my parents were willing to pay the security deposit and first months rent so that id be out of their house#hoping praying theyll stick with that bcuz they have been very vocal about wanting me out#sad to leave my job. my boss (who is also my sibling) will kill me. but naybe i can convince them to let me work remote#unlikely but i can dream#gotta get out. and maybe i can. maybe i can.
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I'm amazed at my ability to write her a text thinking she won't get angry, send that text, and understand at that very moment that the aforementioned text will not only make her angry, but furious.
#I'm fine worst she could do is not talk to me for a week and be angry#btw I'm talking about mother and the exam I'm giving even if I really haven't studied so I might just#not give it#funny thing is that every time I fool myself thinking she'll be ok with my choices#granted I made a mistake#my bad. I should have studied.#I know. I have one job and I didn't. I spent a week pretending to study#I'm not really excusable#but fuck me I did give two exams and I have one coming up and five more this summer. these five could be four but. I..#ugh. no but. there's no but. I meeded up and she's going to be angry and asking her not to be angry is folly#anyway yeah#I should be good at this. and the fucked up thing is that I am! I have a good media! I'm not begind!#and yet my classmates only have three exams left and are already working on the thesis and I'm the one who's behind. and I'm terrified.#and yes you shouldn't compare yourself etc etc but fuck off everyone does#personal
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in the tags due to. i'm embarrassed
#xoxo.monty#i feel like the worst and most ungrateful person on the planet but godd#i always forget why i like not having birthday presents#like. i asked for a screwdriver or a dragon soft toy#and received dominoes (we already have a box of dominoes) and a four-board-games-in-one thing#neither of which i have ever expressed interest in#if they didn't want to/couldn't find what i asked for thats fine just don't give me anything????#like i'm not going to be offended lmao that's how it's been for three years now#although since when have my parents cared about how i feel in the slightest#but yeah. i like how it is normally.#my mother makes a cheesecake (which is good enough already!!!!!) i get a birthday card and can choose whats for dinner#no presents = no opportunities for it to go wrong#easy and simple#if this were a book it would be a humourous situation to show how my parents. just. straight up never listen to me#um. yeah sorry.#i feel like an absolutely /horrible/ person#disgustingly ungrateful rant over o7
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thankfulness tags time!
#everyone tell me something good that’s happened in the last few days!#1) my mother made me dinner last night (sent me home with enough for three or four days)#2) got my second Christmas card from a friend (regrettably I have none to send in exchange)#3) someone at work said they hate whenever I’m out of the office and love hearing my voice on the phone#4) all of my niblings — just in general lol (I get to cuddle one of the babies next week!)#5) college peeps are finally getting their holiday breaks#6) the amazing community on tumblr 💜
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just realised that the first media we consumed that made us REALLY sympathetic for the monster was that fucking point and click Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst game. bc that entire game i was legitimately fucking TERRIFIED of the ghost lady in that game but the second i found out her husband was abusive i doubled down on trying to help her escape. and the ending of that game Did make me cry out of fear but hey at least i did in fact help her escape
#i think that was the first game we ever like. completed. as well#NO it was hidden expedition amazon bc that one was less scary so it was easier to beat LMAO#we had both of those games on a single disc as a kid#one o those like. buy 2 for cheap game discs at like. best buy. i love those cheap bargain bin point and click games#hidden object games were my entire thing from the age of like. 8 to 12#we also had like. three ispy game discs one of which had FOUR separate worlds to go to#which upon my recent googling was like. multiple ispy games packaged into one which i cannot find any record of??#i know for a fact it had a space section the fantasy one and the school days one#and then we had treasure hunt and spooky mansion as separate discs#I FUCKING MISS SPOOKY MANSION i have a download of it but i CAN'T PLAY IT bc it was made for computers older than windows 7#it fucks up the aspect ratio of the screen and the mouse like. shows the cursor being about an inch to the left of where it Actually Is#its weird#anyway complete non sequitur here but I GOT THE STUPID ASS MULTIPLAYER ITEMS IN TERRARIA#i forgot i could just. make a multiplayer world. and not invite anyone to it. and get the items that way#so this can still be a purely singleplayer challenge i just have to click on a different menu to get these items#NOW I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PAINTING HUNT. HOORAY 😳#they need to make a version of that emoji without the blush. i am not flushed i am fucking STARING AT U LIKE A MADMAN#the fucking. uluru painting. i chewed through 7 ENTIRE LARGE DESERTS FOR THAT FUCKING THING#7 LARGE WORLDS. DCU. DESTROYED ALL TRACE OF SAND. ONLY GOT ULURU IN AN OLD ABANDONED WORLD INSTEAD 😔#and now. now i have to search for fucking WALDO?????? WALDO????? this actually looped back around to the initial topic of the post huh#any hidden object BOOKS i would fucking eat up as well the Can You See What I See books??? i liked those better than ispy actually#walter wick is the one man responsible for my LIFELONGGGGGGG obsession with hidden object games#i LEARNED TO READ with ispy books initially and i fucking LOVED it it was so fun making learning a game#i learned to read like. wayyyyy faster than other kids apparently?#i dont remember what age but i was definitely early bc i knew enough that when i entered preschool i was like. past their starting level#i dont remember the details i just know like. i learned to read really early. and i was a late talker#but neither of my parents think i was. bc both of them were delayed in speaking too so they think its normal--#but like. my mom was Deaf she absolutely was a late talker#and my dad. well. lets just say my mother has less of the tism tendencies to gift to me#and also both were part of very very large chaotic families so like. mild neglect was part of the package yknow
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Jyn and Cassian having kids and Jyn being mad when they all grow up to be taller than her 😆
#as a tall daughter of a tiny mother...#in my mind they have at least two and at most four girls. or two or three girls and one boy.#jyn erso#cassian andor#rebelcaptain#rogue one#they wouldn't be *that* much taller but it would happen while they're still teenagers#jyn you married the tall(er) man this is on you girl
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finally watching House MD and yes i am catching up on my shows a decade late, but that DOES mean that now i can make the hypothesis that chase is another bubblegum bitch character and frankly that's worth the ten years
#house md#im on season three#by which i mean i am four episodes away from finishing season 3#i picked up knitting you see and i was like “hey i need a show i don't care about that's still engaging while knitting” because adhd yknow#except now im fucking hooked#my emotions have been toyed with#i have called 40 year old men baby girls#i have broken down laughing#i have cried full ass adult tears#i have binged more episodes than i could ever advise in single evenings#i have had to excitedly break down arcs to my mother who keeps walking by while the show is on/sitting in for an episode n then sleeping#ive also finished a cool pattern swatch and am almost done with another stuffed bunny (this one is for an old roomie) so it is working#like on the knitting-with-adhd front#i have another five seasons to go so who knows!#maybe i'll make a sweater :)
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>:( if I get all my cleaning done I can order dinner and play Skyrim till I can't keep my eyes open anymore, that's the deal okay??? Skyrim and kebabs if I do the vacuuming!!!! And the dusting!!!
#i have filled three - soon to be four - bags of rubbish today#i have moved my bed i have moved bookshelves#i have run the gauntlet of a video chat with both grandparents and my mother where we discussed aspects of my move#im gonna remake my bed and get shit doneeeeeee
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it's been. it sure has been a just-over-twelve-closer-to-sixteen hours.
#in order. flatmate we don't interact with much gets so sick we have to call 999#this entire ordeal starts at about half midnight and ends at half four in the morning#i am up at eight to catch a train at ten#on the train my mother -- meant to pick me up at two from the station -- calls me to tell me she's in a car crash#her phone dies soon after she tells me where she is and i relay it to my brother so we figure out where she is on gmaps#and he has to take an hour and a half long bus to get her#meanwhile i have to take two extra trains to get to the city closest to home#i am still on that train#i have had maybe three hours of sleep and am running on pure adrenaline#fucking hell. i have essays due.#thomas.text#to clarify the flatmate drunk 10 shots on an empty stomach and we were all so fucking. annoyed with her. and trying to babysit her because#she was so sick#but i think she. definitely got the lesson learned. so i can't even hold it against her
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So far the most surreal thing about watching old episodes of King Of The Hill is seeing the Hills pay good money to go watch a guy stand on a stage and tell yo mama jokes
#To be fair he told them very well#Hank being like 'leave my mother out of this' was fucking gold#The best one was 'Hank's urethra is so small his sperm has to come out in single file.' -#- (Marches across the stage) 'ONE two three four; ONE two three four'
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If you're going to be a mother act like a fucking mother
Your child does not owe you for taking care of them. That is LITERALLY your fucking job, you chose to have them, they didn't ask to be born
If they need your support you support them
They're your child! "I don't care" Well congrats on being the biggest piece of shit! Color me not even remotely surprised
#venting#i called her a terrible mother and then hung up on her#i don't know how you can even THINK about selling your daughters house out from under her esp. when she used to be homeless#four kids and three pets and you wanna take away her house because... she's not acting like an adult?? and she might end up in jail??#what is your basis for either of those claims - first of all - and second of all your deal with her was that you'd hand over#ownership of the house if she kept it together for a year#she fucking did#and GUESS WHO DIDNT KEEP THEIR END OF THE DEAL#LIKE ALWAYS#my mother in law and i have never really gotten along well but if she actually fucking does this thats IT#she's been bothering josh for over a year about how she doesnt understand why i dont like her and she wants to spend time with me and#that is literally never going to happen if she fucks up her daughters chances of fully getting back on her feet#maison speaks
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Thought now of a book to bring with me while camping, when there's no one at home anymore that could bring it to me
#I'm going camping with three books a sketchbook and a diary I need to write a lot of stuff in#so it's not like the situation is dire#actually it's probably going to be four books plus one. depends on whether my mother will finish reading it today#but two books are in portuguese and one is Arendt. so I wanted to also bring a lighter read#but I guess it wouldn't really work#personal#tbd
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