#My Experience

[misa-chan13]

Agreed I'm in an area where it's ok to have an abortion and when i thought i was pregnant me and the probable father were debating keeping it this wasn't a quick fix he had time to think about it and his only concern was that we weren't ready but I'm glad i live in a state where i had time to think and make that choice and didn't have to desperately decide when i may or may not be wanting to keep it my biggest issue was the fact that he doesn't have children and it would be extremely hard for me to even think about getting rid of his kid and when i was concerned i was (i wasn't i think i had a cyst) i didn't want to mind you I'm still proudly child free and don't want children but i have already promised to be a surrogate for my sister if need be and am fully willing to think about it depending on the circumstances (rape is a no go no matter what that is not ok the person above i do not agree at all i was the product of a rape and my mother subconsciously resented me her entire life for ruining her life and abused me but again that's still up to the victim and only the victim)

I hate the concept of an abortion is back up birth control i think birth control should be accessible to those who need it and every kind not just pills cause it's not a option fir everyone but that is not something that should exist honestly

I hope to never be in the position where I have to consider getting an abortion due to rape or incest. This post is not about that.

But, I need to say this about all of the pro-abortion people I’ve encountered in my life so far. Including every female doctor, and especially every OB/GYN I’ve ever seen.

When I’ve brought up, or even hinted, that I’m saving myself for marriage to these people—again, even my own doctors—they’ve acted like I’m insane. As if, because I’ve decided that the responsibility and risk that comes with possibly getting pregnant and having a kid doesn’t outweigh the proposed benefits of casual sex, I’m utterly ridiculous. I’ve been laughed at. I’ve been told « we need to change that as soon as possible. »

By people who claim they’re fighting for me to have control over my own body.

So, if it’s truly my body, my choice, why do you mock those of us who say, « not until I’m ready and I’ve found the right one. » « Not until I can handle it and what might come after the fact. »

Sex is a choice, too. Sometimes, agency and owning your body is also saying no, rather than sleeping around. I would take pro-choice people more seriously if they weren’t so condescending when you say you’ve turned people down because you don’t want to have sex with whoever is available.

[harvest-of-the-present]

there's... something in praying and slowly starting to feel like one of your hands is being held as you whisper sincere words to the world, to yourself, to the gods

[sirgogington]

This might be a little unorganized and is definitely an unpopular opinion in this community, but I'm going to say it anyway. Feel free to unfollow. I wasn't going to post about it, but honestly I am so upset for George in this situation. I want to preface that I am a 28 year old female so maybe my thinking is a little different due to that.

The more I read about people's reactions to the George situation the more angry I feel. George was being accused of sexual assault, and the consensus is "he fucked up and should have asked for consent."

My bold take is that I have little sympathy for Caiti. She is a woman who regrets flirting with George, which she has the right to. But her story really made it seem like George randomly started touching her inappropriately, forced her to drink more when she was already drunk, purposely preyed on her because she was 18, and followed her out of the room to the elevator.

None of these things happened. She was drunk beforehand and her friends that she went to Dreams room with wanted to play drinking games. George didn't randomly start touching her. They were sitting together on the couch playing a game with the rest of the group and mutually decided to start cuddling. Caiti got up multiple times and would always come back and cuddle with George. Over the hour of cuddling they were flirting with each other, playfighting etc. When cuddling George started with his hands on her hips above her clothes, and then after he assumed she was comfortable with what he was doing, given the previous signals of her laughing, smiling, and coming back to cuddle with him then he placed his hands on her waist under her clothes. He said he would slowly move them up after awhile. She didn't show any signs of being uncomfortable. She could have pushed his hand away or told him she was uncomfortable with that, but she didn't. She could of left if she felt uncomfortable or sat somewhere else, but she didn't. She also didn't have to walk with George to the elevator, but she did. She didn't have to keep in contact with him afterwards but again she did. It's no wonder why George was understandably confused, and assumed everyone had had a fun night that night, and was blindsided by these accusations. George said that he made a joke about the elevator being broken, but saw when she wasn't open to getting in the elevator with her then he backed off.

Her friends also knowingly put her this situation. They left her unattended while she was drunk in the hotel room with Dream and George and whoever else was left. Going to a drinking social at 18 is a risky situation in the first place, this is why in college I avoided frat parties because I knew what could potentially happen if I went.

George literally did not do anything wrong, and people are painting him as a monster. Now that Caiti did this stream he has lost a lot of his fanbase and friends for no reason, because God forbid you support George. If you support George you must hate woman, because he's evil. Like people have said this could have all been handled privately. Just simple communication like "hey I actually regret what happened at Vidcon, and I didn't actually like that you were cuddling me looking back" or something along those lines. If George is a decent person which it seems like he is he would say okay and apologize most likely, and they could have not had this nasty drama for no reason.

I believe there is non-verbal consent, and most people in that type of situation would rely on that more than verbal consent. They test things like George was doing and slowly progress things. He could have asked if she was okay with it, but she was showing all the signs over the 3 hours that she was. He's not making you stay if you get uncomfortable. Where non-verbal consent doesn't work is if George would have groped her after a half our of flirting. That would absolutely be wrong, and need to be apologized for.

George was defensive in his video because he needed to be. After being accused of all these things you didn't do, and Caiti leaving out details you would be defensive to. She made him out to look really bad. She blew the situation way out of proportion and George has to suffer due to this. I really think that George didn't need to post the extra apology tweet, that the livestream would of been enough to show that he had no malicious intentions and was sorry that Caiti felt strongly about what had happened.

The whole support victims things in this situation makes me upset as well. There were no victims because there was no sexual assault. Yet if you don't say I 100% support the victim then suddenly your evil and hate woman. Without there being a victim it seems dumb to put that but if you don't then you're follower count also takes a hit as a content creator. George didn't fuck up, he acted in a way most men would, and probably even in a more gentleman like way to be honest.

It also upset me as someone who has experienced very real sexual assault. The guy was 25 and I was 18. I didn't want anything sexual/romantic with him because I could see the age gap, and told him that. He invited me to his apartment which I thought would be innocent because I presented my boundaries, but then he started taking off my clothes and telling me I was okay with it over and over until I believed him and let it happen, while feeling really uncomfortable. My body language did not show any interest, just confusion. I remember answering "I don't know" when he asked for consent to touch me, but he would just keep asking until I said okay. He purposely preyed on the younger women because he knew they were easier to coerce and more vulnerable. Looking back I didn't really knew where I stood on hook up culture. He convinced me he could teach me a few things that I could use with my sexual partners in the future. Luckily it never progressed to him taking my virginity. He bragged about how many girls he had slept with, and how many he had took their virginity. I would have been just a number to him. I am so much more than just a number. (he did a lot of other sexual things with me after coercing me into saying okay. Stuff I can detail if you care to know. I remember saying out loud that I was glad that I still had my virginity and I'm glad he didn't take it afterall. Not purposely leaving out, but it was way more than Caiti had experienced with George. For my situation there was a high likelihood it would happen again to another girl like me, and I remember wanting to warn them. It's different because my attacker did have malicious intents even though he disguised it as me consenting.) Being in the mindset I am now I would have never let any of it happen, but I am much more in tune with my thoughts and opinions on things. I would have noticed all the red flags and I would have never put myself in a 1 on 1 situation with an older guy like that or any guy unless I were dating them.

Outside the fandom I've noticed that a lot of people agree with me in this. It's just within the fandom that people are of this support the victim mindset, even when said victim turns out to not have been a victim of anything. I don't know if it's different with younger people that you have to ask for verbal consent for everything, but it just seems dumb. Everyone was also drunk and not thinking straight so sober minded Georgenotfound would have probably asked for consent before he moved his hands up. It's hard to know. I think other content creators probably do agree with me, but they aren't able to have their own opinions, which to me seems gross and fake. We can't genuinely know how content creators feel on certain issues because if were to tell what they truly thought and it wasn't the majority consensus then they risk their viewership which is also twisted.

[marblecakemix]

I'm still so bitter about how the trans community never told me the negative effects of T and binding. I'm so lucky that I didn't do any of those things, bc now I know they would bring me extensive pain, destroy my whole menstrual cycle, skeleton structure, and overall well-being forever.

I learned about it from people the trans cult despises the most, women that they are calling terfs. They saved my life, my dear friend saved my life because she found Radblr and showed me that my feelings are valid outside of the gender spectrum and that it's okay to be just a woman. I know if not for her and this wonderful community I would have gone through T and probably let my boobs be cut off even though I did like how I looked before entering the trans cult.

I'm so bitter about being lied to by omission, by a community that was supposed to protect me from this big bad world.

And the funny thing is, I feel so much better now, I don't have to take my anti-depression meds, because I'm genuinely happy and at one with, my body now. The big bad everyone around me was screaming about saved my life and I know I'm not the only one.

There are many like me out there and many women who weren't so lucky and now are detransitioning (51k just on Reddit).

My rage has no end and I'll fight for every single one of those women. They deserve to feel as happy and at home as I do now. I know I can't do much, but maybe I'll stir something in those lost women by telling my story. I really hope I do.

[hdrygdhbuu]

Hello, I’ve read a few small stories from Dir en grey’s meet&greet and experience from the concerts in general aaannddd I also decided to share mine from m&g 19.03 in Warsaw… Maybe just mainly for archival purposes, but anyway… it was quite interesting.

Since It was my very first concert in my whole life (but what is most important Dir en grey concert😭) and I was sosososo hella nervous – on top of all I came completely alone into the dark unknown! The first show of my favourite band. The first meet&greet with precious and talented band members on their first tour destination. I thought I could have died before start of the show.

Beforehand I’ve read some different experiences from m&g – there were really a few, really – it was said that people with VIP queued in front of the venue doors and were entering one by another to meet the members(¿). (Actually I have no clue, because I didn’t happen to enter among all the people… You’re allowed to read to know then lol) When I had come on the floor I saw two queues actually. One to the m&g and another to the merch booth. But as I said, It was my first life experience so I immediately got super confused and didn’t know where to go… Two long queues, a lot of people, I couldn’t understand which one is which… Anyway I stayed at the end of the merch queue (😭) and managed to buy some things almost THE LAST ONE. I mean, there still was a couple of girls near the stand, but… the cashier was very nice, (he let me pull out of the bag some secret postcard&stickers on my own lol) when he said «there is a meeting with a band, so you should hurry» and pointed at the entrance doors. I looked and realised there was no one around, like, really, empty corridor… Obviously I got scared (even more scared than I’ve been all this day) and rushed there immediately, almost running – actually it was just “fast-walking”. I didn’t know the place, what is where, and at that moment I didn’t even know where is the venue and where I entered… I jumped up to the venue with dizzy head, completely at a loss, greatly confused (I’m sorry, but that cashier really made me worry and hurry with those words😭) and first I couldn’t even recognize the place. All happened so suddenly: I saw them. But the first gaze was so quick, really, I only managed to catch the smiley glance from Toshiya first! Probably all of them were so confused of the chaotic way I entered 😭 (I even thought Toshiya was internally laughing at me, but i guess I was simply delusional.) The staff stopped me with "wait" or something, and – oh what a shame… – at that exact moment I suddenly/quickly turned around at my speed (but it wasn’t so fast fr) and stepped back as almost i was about to leave at every moment 😰 There were no fans nearby… before or after me… and we just stayed like that, so so embarrassing… Me, being afraid even just of looking at them, because I knew, I felt they were staring at me… Maybe i got affected by this “wait” from the staff and actually lost all remains of courage, waiting, waiting for the right signal😭 I met eyes with that woman from the staff, she was staring at me and i was looking at her like “what should i do, when am i allowed to step forward😰” Jeez i really felt so many eyes on me, as it was a long moment and i got lost…

But when i raised my sight, i couldn’t bear but just notice Toshiya’s smile 😭 (him being that tall after all) You know, it was just impossible not to catch it. He was staring so brightly, with the kindest and the most loving smile on his face😭 This smile could physically warm a body and hearts, full of gratefulness, love and respect. Since I’m quite young (i’m 20 actually… but the fact that I admit that I look much younger) for a moment i realised – i’m sure – it was a smile of a loving parent/senpai looking at the child/kohai 😭 Just… can’t describe this wholesome feeling, that he created inside of me with this looking&smile. He didn’t cut off his glance even when we actually met our eyes… i mean, i immediately got shyshyshyshy, i couldn’t withstand it and looked away😭 it was just too much😭🤚🏻

Then i noticed Kaoru looking straight and handing his postcard to me, encouraging me to come closer, and so that was the sign when i managed to finally move my trembling body. (The possibility that they might have been waiting for me just flutters all my insides and kills me!) So, then.. everything happened quite quickly, i was collapsed by shock, embarrassment and happiness at the same time, to the point I almost teared up. I bowed at each of them, saying quietly arigatogozaimassss as they were handing me signed postcards. I couldn’t even make myself to raise my head and look at them… Toshiya was the last one in a row, and when i stood in front of him the actual height difference hit me and got me on knees (and that’s the second reason i couldn’t get myself to look up – it would be physically uncomfortable lol i guess) I mean… this man is really tall, I faced his chest at the level of my nose for real, so yeah (I’m 160cm). He was the one who thanked me in response – well, maybe i was just too dumb and rushed too much idk – and that was so cute of him! Really, he seemed to be the nicest at the m&g, he really does care about fans, he really is glad and happy to meet fans😭 and he obviously showed his appreciation of all its power/extent. The one meeting broke my heart.

Of course after this i rushed to the rest of people near the stage (luckily i was in a second row right before Toshiya!) And then they left the place almost right away… I mean, after all maybe i really was the last one??? And what if they were waiting for me?? (It kills me ugh) Idk… I was sure there were some more girls at the merch booth before….

Anyway, talking about my very first show impression, i was sincerely amazed by this little pleasing discovery of my own – all of them actually were looking at fans during the show! Like straight in the eyes. Catching our glances. Sustaining this eye contact again and again. It felt like a dream, it felt like we and them actually connected on some kind of inner basis/level… I’m sure I even crossed some glances with Toshiya and Kaoru 😭 I didn’t expect it so, again, i felt kinda embarrassed, but super crazy! That was so much fun! Really, I will never forget those nights… And now, every time reminding it – all of them, the performance, their movements and emotions, that charming smile of Toshiya – I can’t help but melt into a divine smile…

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart💔 And thank you too who has read this unexpectedly long message 😭🤲🏻 And sorry for any mistakes..

P.S. I also wouldn’t mind if anyone who has read it, would like to share their experience too🤲🏻 Really, just kinda curious… and after all i don’t have friends who i can talk about diru with sooooooo feel free to share🙌🏻🌷

[palacholic]

one thing i really love about prague (or actually every bigger city) is the amount of alternative dressed people you encounter almost everywhere. going grocery shopping? say hi to the emo/scene kids with their monster energy drinks. visiting a graveyard? maybe you can spot the occasional goth or emo wandering among the graves. on public transport? i get so happy each time i see someone who looks cool. walking around the city? beautiful alt people everywhere. in every bigger university lecture there's some of them and sometimes we sit next to each other and chat. i've got and given so many compliments over hair styles, outfits, band merch, diy stuff...it's so nice to meet people who like the same things as you, who dress the way they want and feel confident doing so. to you all, alt people of prague and the world: you are so beautiful and i love you all so much

[skogjeger]

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Throughout my childhood, there have been numerous signs that Hermes wished to work with me, but I was completely unaware. I thought about adding wings to my shoes, wore the caduceus as a necklace, and felt a constant urge to write more and express myself freely. Communicating effectively, sharing my feelings, and jotting down my emotions became important to me.

He always made me think of him—his presence, his words, his thoughts. He made the effort. I felt a strong connection to trickster archetypes and chthonic deities. While traveling, Hermes was constantly on my mind. So many tell-tale signs and clear indications. I viewed him as the healer, the messenger, the scholar, the guider of souls, the multifaceted one, and the protector.

Of course, I wouldn't say Hermes was the only one reaching out, but he was certainly one of the main ones.

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‧₊˚.    : · •.    * • ˚   . · *   ✶   : · •   *   ˚ ✵  ‧₊˚.    : · •.    * • ˚   . · *   ✶   : · •   *   ˚ ✵ 

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

Today marks my 7 month anniversary for my cardiac surgery. So id like to share my experience with SVT in honour of the doctors who have saved my life.

Also just in case people are interested!! Because honestly, its a very interesting condition.

As i said, its been 7 months since my surgery. Im forever greatful for my surgeons. Since its 7 months, i now experience no palpitations, which is awesome. Before it happened maybe daily? I feel non now. Its the best thing ive ever done.

Right, let me explain SVT first.

SVT stands for supraventricular tachycardia. Its when theres an additional pathway in the hearts electrical circuit, leading to the heart beating abnormally fast for an hour up to a day at a time.

Anyway.

I was diagnosed at the age of 4, in the US. I was visiting my grandparents and i was sent ro multiple hospitals to get diagnosed. A specialist took me in and finally got me sorted. Ever since then, it has been a struggle.

Ive been on adenosise a a lot, sometimes a few doses at once as i was almost immune to it. Ive been in perri arrest (stage before cardiac arrest) around 3 times. I have been sedated once. I have a massive fear of neddles because of my experiences with them in hospital. I have been pinned down tons of times.

My the age of 8, i was on the strongest medication with the highest dose with two medications. Its very dangerous to take them both together, that now severe my condition was. A year ago, i was taken in by the famous hospital in london under their cardiac unit. My cardiologists finally decided to give me the cardiac ablation.

The cardiac ablation works like this:

9 slits are made near the groin, 5 on one side, 4 on another. Catheters are inserted into the veins and arteries up to the heart. They put you into an episode of SVT to find the extra parhway. Once found, they either burn it or freeze it off, scarring the heart safely. Everything is removed with no stitches at all.

My surgery went fine, textbook easy. I have 4 tiny scars near my groin/on my thigh. I experiences daily heart palpitations at resting for about 6 months, which is normal.

Recovery was easy. It was extremely hard to walk, thats all. Legs were extremely weak and your heart just feels a bit funny, with the beating i mean. I could definitely feel a difference. I just couldn't be on my side for the first few days, making sleeping uncomfortable.

Theres my experience!! It was a journey definitely, but im so glad i overcame it <3.

[sinkableruby]

[menherabuta]

This is gonna be a little bit TMI but agh who cares it's 2AM & this is my tumblr account nobody's gonna see this post anyway

The one effect of T that I expected I'd hate but turns out I actually really love is ass hair. I was looking forward to getting hairier but I was worried abt growing more hair in my ass crack, and when it did start, it made me so fucking happy. I can't really say why. I guess I just love having hairs everywhere. being a work-in-progress Bear rocks sm

[harvest-of-the-present]

"I won't force you. You don't deserve to be forced. Just live— Live"

—from a meditation with Dionysus

[nkotbblockparty]

I don't post my own photo on here often, but this is one of those times I can make an exception.

August 16th, 2024, was the day I FINALLY realized a lifelong dream --- I FINALLY met New Kids On The Block. Where do I even find the words? I never thought I'd be face-to-face with them, much less hug and talk to each guy. I guess I can start by going through the meet and greet, step by step….

Danny: He greeted me and asked how I was doing, and I think I said I was fine lol. I gave him his "Block Party" bracelet (which 4/5 of the guys received, in their mic colors, and I have a multicolored matching bracelet. All five bracelets were made by my amazing niece). He said something along the lines of "Block Party!" and was happy about it lol. I told him it was my favorite song. (Is it any secret, considering I named my fan page after it AND had one a shirt & hat with "Block Party" on them).

Donnie: We greeted one another (hugs included, which goes without saying for all five guys), and I told him the bracelet was for him and the letter was for the group, and I wished him a happy early birthday, in which he thanked me. :)

Jordan: He said hi and hugged me, so I was relieved he broke the ice considering we're both shy and riddled with anxiety lol. I gave him his bracelet and he thanked me and put it on. :) We took the picture and I can't remember if anything else was said lol.

Joey: He greeted me, and then got distracted lol. But it's okay because he turned his attention back to me and I gave him his bracelet. He said "Aww for me!" D'awwww. :')

Jonathan: I didn't have a bracelet for Jon because he requested to not receive them, so I respected his wishes. I told him he was my Mom's favorite and she passed away in 2021, and he was so sweet about it and told me he was sorry. I wasn't sure what I was gonna say, but considering the three-year anniversary of her passing was the day before, and she was supposed to be the first one I talked to after meeting the guys (that was decided many years ago), I wanted to mention her; make her a part of this experience.

So, the interactions were kind of laid back, and with how nervous I was, I think that was for the best. :)

After meet and greet, I needed to kind of get myself together, so I went to get merchandise and food. Eventually, I found my seat and the show began. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Paula Abdul were so much fun. :)

When the lights went out for the boys, shy, nervous, anxious little me didn't exist for a little over two hours. I sang, danced, cheered, played in the confetti, captured memories, and waved to Donnie (and he waved back)…. I had the time of my life. I didn't care who saw me dancing like a dork or what anyone thought, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I'm planning to do it again next tour. There's something about their shows; my favorite Boston boys, my favorite songs, the confetti, the energy… you can just forget about everything for a few hours and dance the night away.

If there's anything I've learned in the last 11 years, it's that life is short and can change in the blink of an eye. Go to the concert. Sing your heart out. Dance like no one is watching (because I promise you, they're watching the guys anyway lol). If you cannot attend, blare that song in your room, grab a hairbrush, and have the time of your life. You only get one life, so live it, live it, live it up! ;)

Providing the boys continue touring for several more years, my long-term goal is Individual VIP for 2028. As for 2026, I'm hoping to get regular seats for my sisters and I, and just relax and enjoy the show! :D

Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jonathan, and Jordan, thank you for making my first meet and greet an easy one, and thank you for the AMAZING show you put on that night. You keep showing up, and I'll keep showing up. I love you guys to pieces. :)

[marblecakemix]

I remember that when I was maybe 12-13 y/o, when the trans thing wasn't well known and the internet wasn't my second world, I was so proud of my female body. I was happy to start having curves and it brought me joy to feel my breasts grow and shape. I was so proud of my body for having a period at the age of 11, that meant I was completely healthy and I had little to worry about. I was proud of my first pubic hair. I saw myself as a very attractive woman to be. I loved everything about my body.

The thing that broke that pride in me was boys laughing at my armpit hair and teachers saying I better cut it to stop the bullying and to be more hygienic. It was the gender roles my family tried to mold me into that apparently made you a boy or a girl. It was the influx of gender ideology in every day setting and the slogans that said "it's okay to hate your body! You'll just bend it to your will". It was my biology teacher saying that a person's brain gender is biological and equally real to first, second and third sex characteristic, feeding me the false idea of who I might be. It was trans content made for kids that encouraged me to "explore" gender, furthermore deepening taught hatred I started to feel forward my body. It was the cancellation of sapphic and wlw creators I followed, they were bad and transphobic and it only showed me that the love I felt for women as a woman was also flawed.

So I hated my body. I wanted to cut off my breasts, speak in the lower octave, take testosterone I didn't need, use different grammatical forms for myself. All of that so I could be a female without being oppressed for being one. Cut all of the things that made me one, so I can finally be happy again.

But that happiness was false and not lasting. I was depressed, anxious, and rarely happy. It wasn't who I was even if I thought this was me. I told myself "I'm just born in the wrong body, that's why I feel that way" ignoring the clear signs of my mind longing for the connection to my authentic self. That dissociation from my physical body let me into the most miserable time in my life so far.

I could never be happy with a body that wasn't mine. I understand it now and I'm once again proud of who I am and how I look. I hope that little 12 y/o me is proud of me too.

[nandsmi]

I do think about Stobin having a convo about Steve's recently discovered bisexuality and his taste in men (Eddie) that goes like this:

Steve, crying and drive in despair: ... and he didn't brush his hair for 3 days Robin! Three days! He calls it french!

Robin, bored and a little worried about how Steve has been crying for the last two hours: I see.

Steve: And other day, I thought that he was at the store and I come in to greet him you know, and *sobing screaming* IT WAS MIKE!

[cussima]

౨ৎ is the law ever hard? ౨ৎ

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i feel like the hardest thing about applying the law, can sometimes be the first step: deciding what you want. and even then, it is me who's making it hard, cuz i could just manifest i already know what i want to do with my life and that's it. clarity on the choices you make is just as easy to manifest as anything else, it'll come to you naturally like everything else. clarity isn't a foreign concept and if you just decide you want it then you are going to get it, same way you'll get all of your desires just because you decided you had them.

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[nicolascageisagoth]

I have been thinking how to explain what i want to explain but time goes, memories fade, and I got the flu, so there is no chance that I will write a good story in a pleasant narrative style in the near future. Just let me leave a few facts and thoughts here.

It was my first DM concert, my first stadium show and it happend to be diametrically opposed to my expectations. First of all, if you stand under the stage it is the same as small club performances for me. I didn't feel the scale of the stadium and that there were about 60-70 000 people around me (The capacity of the stadium is 58 580 seats and together with the field it is 72 900 people. It wasn’t sold out but ~90-95% of seats were taken plus almost the whole field). I didn't feel how big the show was. Just DM, me and some dudes around.

About people around. I understand how difficult and scared for some it can be to stay alone on the show BUT I saw the pain of fans who brought their partners or friends who didn’t care at first, they were annoyed being here for hours (understandable) and the second: fans couldn’t relax with them, couldn’t enjoy the show. Their bodies couldn’t allow their owners to dance, to jump or scream like they are ashamed by their own wishes. I danced alone in that area. People around me supportably smiled, but one guy was almost in tears bc of his partner. He glanced at me from time to time, I waved and sang to him like hey let’s do it together, we all! At least he smiled in the end. My advice to think twice when you do any activities and be honest with yourself, your friends, families and partners. It’s not worthy «to share» your patient with someone who doesn’t care. It can end painfully.

Audience. You can read everywhere it was before, it is now that the Polish audience is one of the best. Well. People were nice around, kind and helpful. That’s not typical, yes. I was surprised by the reaction for some tracks. Like for Stripped I expected at least their souls would go out from their chests or smth 🌚 but no, the audience was quit calm. Meanwhile It’s no good ripped off everyone's pants. In general it looked like people are calm to 2/3 of the set list.

Martin. Today several posts on different platforms popped up that we should appreciate Martin more. One girl even described her feelings similarly to mine after the show. Yes, we should! He is the author, he has a uniq style from writing to dressing, and damn! He sings so emotionally! His voice is alive. It was breathtaking. He really enjoyed the music and gave himself to us, not just worked off the money. I don’t care about his old voice, I don’t care about his low notes which are not his register, it doesn’t matter in his case! If he started a solo project I would visit every show

About the venue. PGE Narodowy is a stadium in Warsaw. It is a famous place for its awful sound. Actually it was good from the field. The same like in Atłas Arena in Łódź. PGE NARODOWY DOESNT HAVE A ROOF. It is the same like in Bucharest. The stadium sold beer straight on the field from the beginning to the end and during the show 🗿 19 zł (€4.26) for 500 ml

If someone needs this information.

I was in a hospital that morning. In a really bad condition driving to the show that evening I thought I was going to get the worst spot with a terrible sound plus rain as the cherry on the top. Instead of this I freely walked around the whole place till DM talking with people sharing some drinks and snacks. I got the best spot I could get in the golden circle under the stage and stars were shining in the sky – no one cloud that night.

We got Strangelove 🤍👠⚫️📢 Frankfurt got Shake the Disease 🦩🕴🏻📹 I’m so happy for us.

Memento Mori Tour 2023