#My Disney rant has been put in its place

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

A friend started watching Miraculous a couple of weeks ago; he was curious, and I accidentally sold it by spoiling him S5's finale. "Oh! I really enjoy the twist when the bad guy wins!" he said... I swear I tried to save him!

Anyway, he went through the honeymoon phase with S1 and S2. Now that he has watched half of S3 (btw, in our country, both Disney+ and Netflix DO NOT have the episodes in order, save for each season's 1st one and the finales), he went on a rant on Kwamibuster saying "c'mon! So, Marinette can hold all the trinkets without any consequence, why they do that?! Is a nice stand alone chapter, but there is no great consequence!" I just told him "welcome to the fandom!" and he went "OMG! I turned to the dark side!"

He still has Gabriel on a 8.5/10 scale, since he finds saving his wife as a noble if twisted reason to turn villian. Though he doesn't understand why Gabriel found Lila useful at the end of Oni-chan. I... don't have the heart to tell him about Chat Blanc nor Gabriel's later actions.

Were S1 and S2 really the best of Miraculous? I remember enjoying S3, but now hearing his fresh pov, I'm starting to have my doubts about when it all went to worse.

I was also relatively late coming to the fandom, so I got to see seasons one to three all in one go. I watched them over a series of a few weeks and my memory of that process is this: I thought season one was mediocre with a handful of truly bad episodes, but the premise was a lot of fun and had real potential. I started reading fanfiction after watching the few episodes because I love identity shenanigan romances and I wanted to see people tell this one without being held back by the show's format and intended audience. This is probably the only reason I finished season one. I didn't like the show so much as I thought it was good enough to watch so I could fully understand the fanfic.

Origins is where my opinion changed. It was legitimately good and even felt like a soft reboot for Alya, Adrien, and Chloe. I thought this indicated that the first season had done really well and so the show had been cleared to have a true overarching plot and serialized elements in the coming seasons.

Season two initially seemed to back that up with the Chloe stuff and Marinette meeting Fu, but then Queen Bee happened. That's the moment when I realized the show was never going to live up to its potential. It was incredibly disappointing to see Chloe go from finding the bee to revealing herself on national television within a few minutes. That is the least interesting way you could possibly play her finding the bee. I have referred to this choice as the canary in the coal mine before and I stand by that. If they couldn't handle something as tried and true as a mean girl redemption or do something interesting with Chloe finding the bee, then we were not in for a good time.

The introduction of Carapace just further confirmed that read. Nino wasn't carefully chosen for his miraculous. He was just in the right place at the right time and got the best miraculous for the situation. Chloe getting the bee felt more fitting and she wasn't even chosen for it! She just got to keep using it for some reason even though identity reveals were supposed to get you benched. It was weird and was also another warning sign of things to come. Identity reveals and their consequences would just become more and more confusing as the show went on.

While all of these things were disappointing, I don't fault anyone for being willing to keep watching because it wasn't all bad. Season two showed us that the show was going to suck from a long-form perspective, but it could deliver solid short-form content. Your friend put it really well:

It's a nice stand alone chapter, but there is no great consequence!

The early seasons of Miraculous had a lot of fun standalone chapters that had no greater consequence. Disappointing for those who wanted a serious story, but you don't need to tell a serious story to be good. If the show had stuck to a more lighthearted tone and just put out disjointed, but fun mini-stories, then it would have been fine. Not amazing, but serviceable. An endless series of writing prompts that don't really fit together, but that allow for a ton of fun fan content as people pick and choose which episodes to play with. I would have still had issues with some of those episodes, but because they didn't actually connect, I would have just shrugged and focused on the stuff that was fun. In fact, that's what I was doing for the first four seasons! There's a reason this blog didn't exist until mid season five even though I've had issues with the show since season one.

For example, does Chat Blanc technically ruin the love square by establishing that Adrien's love for Marinette isn't strong enough to keep him from killing her? Sure, but when it was just a random what-if episode, I could ignore it as one-off bad writing. Season four then chose to have Chat Blanc show up in Marinette's nightmare and also featured Marinette promoting Alya instead of Chat Noir, leading me to assume that Marinette was keeping Chat Noir at arms because of Chat Blanc. This changed how I viewed Chat Blanc. That episode suddenly mattered to the entire show and wasn't a one-off thing I could ignore.

The official word is that Chat Blanc had nothing to do with the season four conflict, but that's really not clear in the actual text to the point where I almost want to call BS. Why did you give Marinette a Chat Blanc nightmare if he doesn't matter to her mental state? That makes no sense!

Even if we embrace that official word, Chat Blanc is still not a one-off episode. It apparently haunts Adrien and kept him from the season five final even though Adrien never actually learned about Chat Blanc, which is frankly even more damning than my initial read of season four. It's now super official that Adrien's love for Marinette isn't enough to save the day and I'm not interested in a show that's sticking to that choice and repeating it ad nauseum (Chat Blanc, Ephemeral, and the season five ending). The one-off bad episode has now poisoned the entire show and it's not the only episode that did this.

We've reached a point where there are multiple choices haunting the show, making it so that there really aren't any more fun standalone chapters. Even if season six is written more like those early seasons, are any of us going to be able to enjoy love square hijinks when we're also waiting to see if Adrien will ever learn the truth of sentistatus or his father's death? And what about the knowledge that love will probably never win? It's hard to forget that, especially as more and more people learn the love square's secret identities, endlessly cheapening that reveal. Combined that with them maintaining the statue quo of Marinette being unable to act normal around Adrien and it's hard to picture season six being anything like a good time.

While I can't picture it, maybe you can! Seasons one to four all had episodes I enjoyed even though I was aware of the large scale flaws. Season five is the one that ruined that for me because, while there is no real overarching plot for the season, there was enough connective tissue that no episode felt like it truly stood alone no matter what the writers say. That connective tissue made the problems impossible to ignore and, now that my brain is in serialized mode, I can't go back to episodic. The season five cliffhanger of the lies is also too serious a point for me to mostly ignore it like I did with the other bad cliffhangers. The lies aren't just a dumb plot point, they're an incredibly serious character beat that I can't overlook. Every time the love square is on screen, I'm going to feel a little sick because I know canon isn't going to give this massive betrayal proper weight.

There's also retroactive rot at work here. Because the show has serialized elements, the more the show poisons its plot and characters, the more the rot creeps backwards, ruining the early stuff to the point where the flaws feel glaring. Knowing Chloe's ultimate fate makes it hard to enjoy her early canon writing. Knowing that Ladybug will fight Gabriel alone makes it hard to enjoy Ladynoir's big "you and me against the world" moments. Knowing that Gabriel will eventually win makes it hard to enjoy more moments than I can count.

So, to answer you question:

Were S1 and S2 really the best of Miraculous?

I'd say that the first four seasons all have good standalone episodes and even some good setups that would just never pay off. Season three and four just feel worse than the first two because that's when it started to become really clear that those payoffs would never come since the show had to finally own that fact with things like Chloe "damnation arc" and the lack of consequences for the mass identity reveal.

They also have more setups than the first two seasons and those probably stand out in your mind as being bad. That's how bad writing tends to work when that writing issues are more structural than scene-based. The longer the story goes, the more the cracks in the foundation show. The writing is rarely getting actively worse, there's just enough of it to properly show just how bad it is.

I do think season five was worse than any of the others, but only because the episodes had that awkward thing where they were try to be both episodic and serialized, really highlighting how bad the show was at long-form content. It wasn't so much that the writing got worse as it was that the show focused on the writing style that highlights its flaws. Season six going back to more truly episodic story telling may make it work for some people even if they hated season five. Only time will tell.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I am answering this ask like this to prevent any potential harassment towards anyone

Don't wanna seem aggressive but idk abt the "Malleus has to marry a woman to continue the bloodline" in a fantasy magic setting or even in fanfic. Esp in a Disney game where you can wish on a star for a kid or love each other so much a Bio baby can appear. There's magic bullshittery going on too so you can make one. Also if any if the twst dudes do get a gf I don't get why people can't just pretend she doesn't exist or be poly? Maybe make a dramatic divorce fic?? Idk.

I do agree with you anon, a small minority makes everyone look bad (if I'm understanding this correctly)

Its the number one thing I hate abt the TWST Fandom or fandoms with this sort of premise in general. There's always this weird minority that ends up being the most vocal, especially as younger people are discovering Fandom but that's another story.

Usually the best thing to do to make your fandom experience the best is to block ppl you don't like and ignore stuff you don't like. It's what I do and I've been having a great time. Something something community fridge.

Glad u kinda brought this up cause I have a mini rant of my own that's related as someone who's been in fandom/fanfic for a while ll put under a read more— just noting my experiences and stuff I've noticed. I hope this doesn't come out wrong cause I worded stuff incorrectly.

This is not to attack or shame anyone. Don't be weird. Don't harrass anyone. If you don't agree that's fine. Just don't be assholes. This is just my experience as a male insert writer. This is very incoherent and all over the place l'm tired.

l esp notice this in self-ship x readers from my years of running different masc/male reader blogs. No one wins in situations like these. I have seen people ask other people online to not draw/ship their Mc with their fave because they ship their Mc with the same character and all. They get really upset and toxic over it too.

Here's some other stuff I've seen:

WIw/bisexuals/ect are made fun of for wanting fem characters and chances are these fem characters will be torn apart by some of the toxic ones in the Fandom.

People with male yuus are sometimes attacked because "they're not gay!" Or are think Yuus roles more feminine or are accused of misogyny

Female Yuus get in the way of the yaois or have to be a certain way or in the test fandom they have to be boys cause everyone at NRC is a boy.

Most x readers are Female (not afab which is different) so a lot of trans/masc ppl are left out and a lot of fem readers being tagged as x gn or x male

Male x Readers don't take off as well and chances are the author will sorta quit for that reason- it's hard to want to continue writing if no one cares abt it and it can just be in your head

Ive see a lot of F/M writers sometimes feeling like they have to apologize for writing such things.

A good chunk of x readers also end up very y/n in nature with the "weak perfect messy bun" thing and that's totally fine but a lot of the time it's not very x reader. (That being said dont be an asshole to the writer cause its not your cup of tea. Just ignore it. Community fridge.)

I personally try to make sure I make Yuu completely androgynous and give warnings about if Yuu is more muscular, has hair, is tall, ect.

It's also why I tend to write stronger-personalied Yuus or those that are taller/buffer in appearance. This doesn't make me better than people who write y/ns, shyer readers or fem readers but I have been compared and said that I write MCs 'better" when that "better" is just preference. Don't gotta tear the others down you know?

It's why l've been doing mainly gn or masc gn because I notice a lot of fem x readers tend to not include personalities that I personally prefer/imagine with my ocs and all that I see more in male x reader fics and I notice that all sorts of people want more of that

I've even gotten fem readers send asks abt it I the past on this blog abt this too

Not to mention the off aggression of Masc Aligned DNI!! For female writer inserts or Fem Alligned DNI! In very toxic or ignorant ways like Women can't like male x male cause fetishing and all that.

I do agree with your points anon, but I have seen this stuff before. I have received death threats on previous blogs for writing male and trans readers. I have had people tell me that I am misogynistic for not writing fem. This isn't even including AroAce ppl in fandom esp those who actually like smut or romance fic or those who want something besides it.

I also don't think that all women or people in general want their f/o to always be 100% available. (It prob just came off more strongly worded in the post than intended) I don't think that most would truly care aside from a "aw man", and I think that if it truly does distress someone, fandom may not be for them and they may need to take a break from it. I also don't like how us vs them it is. It's not a women issue, it's an immaturity/toxicity issue. It's just a small part of the Fandom that are the loudest and the absolute worst and you should block them and be done.

I like making spaces for masc/trans/gay/disabled readers since we're not often repped in fic, but this doesn't mean I think I'm better or that I hate fem insert writers. I follow many and they're wonderful people that are also safe spaces.

The only people I blame for harassment, are the harrassers. No one else. It's a slippery slope to rope everyone into a specific category just because of a small minority and I'm not interested in that waterside.

Idk if this is making any sense but I hope I got one point across.

[danvillecheese]

why do u think act ur age is fucked

[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.

I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it

[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]

first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!

second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?

third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)

four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao

five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.

i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?

i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.

as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!

thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3

[geekghoulsmash]

I need to go on a rant about Disney World prices.

I went there for the first time in 2021. At that time the fl resident tickets were $109 any park, any day. In the past four years, they've changed to a tiered pricing system for the parks, and instituted surge pricing, so some days are more expensive than others, peaking at $199 for Christmas day at Magic Kingdom (their busiest day of the year) that's a $90 price increase in four years, and they no longer have single day tickets for FL residents. (Offically prices "start at $119" but that's for like one shitty day in August, where it's too fucking hot to think, let alone have fun, and only for their least popular park).

[This got long so I'm putting the rest behind a cut. If you're thinking about going, I'd recommend reading it, though]

And all of this is while they're getting rid of things left and right. Ranging from no longer having a free toppings bar at one of their restaurants, to getting rid of characters, to getting rid of almost all of their hotel perks. A stay at a Disney hotel used to get you free skip the line service (which now has a $400/person/day option at its highest tier, on top of the ticket price), if you turned down daily room cleaning you'd get a $10 gift card per night, now they don't even come every day, all hotel guests used to be able to stay in the parks later than day guests, which is now limited to only the people staying at the most expensive hotels, and they used to give you a free wristband, that could be used as your park ticket, room key, and even payment method. All that's left now is free parking at the parks, and the disney transportation to and from the parks.

And to compound matters, your $119-$199 ticket is getting you into parks with a ton of closed attractions this year. An entire land and a show in animal kingdom, all of Muppets Courtyard in Hollywood studios, a major ride in epcot, and a coaster, and soon to be the riverboat and Tom sawyer island, in Magic Kingdom, are are all closed or will be closing soon for construction. You aren't even getting the entire park for these prices.

There is no fucking way the average American family can possibly afford this shit. I can't afford this shit as a single adult with access to the fl resident discounts, which are all multi day ticket packages starting at $240 now. If I wanted to go to Animal Kingdom (the cheapest park) for my birthday next month it would cost $164+$30 for parking, that's $194 to get in the fucking door. Last year I paid $150ish for a two day fl resident ticket (it's since been replaced with a $240 3 day florida reaident ticket). One day at Animal Kingdom is more than I paid for two tickets just a year ago.

They've sucked all of the value out of their offerings, and seem to be trying to make themselves a "luxury" destination, except it's only in price, and it's awful. They've enshittified the entire place.

[the-haunted-office]

Thursday comes running over to Cyrus brandishing a ☕, its contents sloshing all over the sides of the cup. "Cyrus! Cyrus! I've just thought of something! Prequels! We haven't ranted about prequels yet!!!"

Send ☕ for my muse to rant about something in character

Cyrus has no choice but to accept the cup of prequel tea, setting it down quickly before it scalds his hands too much.

All the same, his expression all but lights up like a Christmas display.

"Yes! That's it! Prequels is something I can rant about! There are so many of them these days, and rarely do they achieve anything except to undo the very thing they are seeking to do. That, and cash in on an existing franchise, hoping to milk it for every penny it's worth. It usually works too, doesn't it?"

"The only prequel I've seen done right is Better Call Saul, with the mounting dread throughout the series of just what is going to happen to these beloved characters you don't see in the series that immediately proceeds it. It really is done quite effectively, unlike all these... Disney prequels. What were they thinking? Not to mention every popular children's and teen's novel prequel they've put out in recent days as well."

"All it leads to is the retconning of the very things they were attempting to elaborate on in the first place. It doesn't make a bit of sense. What if we were to do a prequel? What if The Stanley Parable: The Haunted Office were to do a prequel? What on Earth do you suppose that would look like? And what all would that undo?"

Cyrus suddenly turns to the microphone, switches it on, speaks into it, calling down into the Office below. "Stanley? Stanley! Come about, Stanley, we need to put on a prequel for the audience! We need to you to go back in time to what you were like before the Office. You must have been more interesting back then, surely. Something in your past must be worth gleaning over that will captivate our audience, make them yearn for more. Help us cash in on this prequel craze, won't you?"

Down in the Office, in the 240 hallway, Stanley Johnson suddenly takes off running, looking for the nearest darkened closet to hide in. He wants no part in this.

[robingurl]

Small rant below on cozy gamers from someone that grew up on island builders, city builders and farming games.

I’ve finally started playing Disney Dreamlight and my god, some of the players are absolutely insufferable. Ive not met one normal player.

I’ve never wanted to strangle so many people at once (and I’m a moonie and kuroshitsuji fan new fans for both fandoms smh 😅) .

It literally non stop complaints about how repetitive it is and how there isn’t room to place their characters and how Disney has failed them and aren’t listening and now they are boycotting and not playing - ITS. SO. DAMN. STUPID.

1. First and foremost Disney owes you jack shit. You bought the game and gave them $60 plus the price of the DLC if you paid for it. They held up their end of the bargain and gave you a game. It’s a complete transaction and they don’t give two shits about your whining.

2. The game is going to be repetitive. You’re playing a harvest moon/stardew valley/animal crossing game. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THESE GAMES. You repeatedly talk to villagers, upgrade your house, grow crops, do quests that will sometimes require 20 fish and 200 carrots. The game isn’t broken or a bad game. It’s doing its JOB and what it was created to do.

These games aren’t meant for everyone and yes once you play this game into the ground and cover every space (then complain your game crashes because you’re overloading your graphics cards 🤦🏻‍♀️) with decorations, complete your quests , buy all the furniture and clothes, and max out your level it’s DONE.

No game has unlimited gameplay especially when you go as hard as a lot of you do. You’re going to run out of things to do until the next update. So sit and be patient or follow below:

Restart your game from scratch and move on.

No game company owes you squat. They don’t owe you updates, they don’t owe you free stuff or even DLCs.

The fact that Disney is doing this, is great and I’m excited.

3. New characters. This is for my overly dramatic players who have to over achieve and cover every single pixelated space on their valley, you will need to REMOVE SOMETHING to make room for the new characters coming in.

Disney doesn’t owe you a new biome and if you’d shrink the 2 acre palace you made for Ariel and Belle, it would fit quite nicely.

First you complain about not enough to do, then Disney GIVES YOU MORE CONTENT (for FREE I might add) and you bitch about where to put it.

No one cares Ashleigh, just change up your valley and move on.

4. Playing on the switch. Yes the gameplay isn’t perfect but I’ve been grinding and I really haven’t run into problems like all of you complain about. I’m not saying you’re lying but my guess is, like I said above, you’re decorating your island too much.

This is like ACNH, you over do it and your game will lag and crash and yes you could corrupt your game file 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s how this stuff works.

“bUt ThAtS nOt fAiR” then get a different console. Can’t afford it, make do with what you have. That’s reality.

5 “omg where is Cinderella and Snow White? 😭😞” first, Disney is putting in their popular characters first and foremost. A lot of the demographic they are pointing to (not a 32 Disney adult) don’t know the older princesses. Second, Cinderella can’t move in when her castle is covered in thorns… just saying. My guess is she’ll be the last we unlock.

As much as I love older Disney, I know they won’t appear until later. I was happily surprised Merlin was one of the first people we met in the game and same with the Fairy God Mother later on. But I know realistically unless these princesses are needed for the main story line, they aren’t a priority.

Yes, I get that older people play this game, I’m one of them, but I’m not disillusioned into thinking Disney will bend to my will just because I cry and beg.

6. “Pay to play” this game isn’t pay to play. Sure you can CHOOSE to buy those blue tokens but THE GAME DOESN’T REQUIRE THE PURCHASE. You can earn these coins through game play and dream snaps. Disney is not locking the game so you have to buy them, I’ve not been locked out once.

So stop lying to people.

If you really want that ride or that dress and you’re an adult with adult money- YOU CAN CHOOSE to spend real money but it’s not a required part of the game.

bUt KiDs pLaY tHiS gAmE 😖 ok and? Put your foot down, remove your payment information from the game shop and step up and be a fucking parent and supervise your child on what she/he’s doing on the console you bought them. Your lack of parenting isn’t Disney’s fault.

That’s on you 😌✨

7. Dreamsnaps. No one is required to vote for your perfectly curated photo with your 1000 hour park in the BG.

There are actual kids playing this game and new or casual players. They deserve a vote as well.

Sure they look great but don’t expect an automatic win. It’s more fun, imo, to find the clever ones of the first time/casual players who don’t have Disney land behind them.

Same with the kids that have Mike from Monsters Inc belching 😂 it’s a game for kids, so there will be lots of those photos.

I vote for everything but the perfect dreamsnaps, but that’s just me.

I’m not saying not to put your all into it because you will still get a hefty amount of star coins (blue things) from following the prompt, but please stop complaining about how people could possibly vote for a “boring” “obviously not following the prompt” submissions.

Your popular mean girl techniques don’t work in the digital world. You can’t bully people into voting for you 🥰

If you’ve gotten this far into this rant and you’re unsure if you want to buy the game: yes do it. It’s such a charming well made game that lets you hang out with a lot of characters from your childhood.

Just don’t go to Reddit, TikTok or YouTube and read the comments. You’ll lose your mind. 🥴

Reach out to me if you want any help for new players. I’m still kinda new but we’ll figure it out together! 🥰

[philsmeatylegss]

Dude I’m ngl I think implying that “real autism” = violence and putting others at risk is absolutely a weird thing to say

But please correct me if I’ve interpreted what you said wrong!!

I’m going to scream because I wrote such a long ass reply to this that tumblr decided to delete right as I was about to finish it. I’m attempting to rewrite everything I said.

Just as I did with the last anon, I’m starting this with a TLDR because I will probably go on a weird rant that misses the point:

TLDR: There is no such thing as “real autism” and it’s on me for using that kind of phrasing. What I meant when I said real autism is defining autism by every single part of the disorder, not just the cute ones. And you’re right. It’s uncomfortable to think about the fact that many lower function autistic people often have self injurious or violent outbursts or stims because we like to think of autism in the context of the relatable, cute symptoms. Autism is a spectrum and it is always wrong to say all autistic people ____. What I’m trying to get across is that Autism has been watered down to cover up the unsavory symptoms autistic people, mainly lower functioning autistic people, suffer with every single day.

My mom works with teenage and young adult who are severely autistic. One has to wear a diaper because he can’t use the bathroom or alert people in time to help him. She’s struggling with a kid who needs constant supervision from multiple people because all he does is hit his head. It’s not uncommon for genitalia to be exposed and having to put it back in its place. There’s days where my mom has to listen to one of her kids scream the same phrase over and over for hours. Their curriculum? Right now one of their lessons is knowing to put away your pencil when class is finished. One only communicates by typing on an IPad.

It’s not uncommon for these grown individuals to get violent. It’s not uncommon to need three adults to restrain one of her kids in a way that prevents him from hurting himself and the other kids. My mom got time off after she was punched.

That’s uncomfortable. It’s weird. When you think autistic, that’s not what you want to think about. You want to think about cute tiktoks of autistic children happy stimming when meeting their favorite Disney characters. You want to think of them smiling and complimenting their loved ones. You want to think of the quirky things they say. Because that’s what autism has become.

Obviously Autism is a spectrum and this is an example of those on the lower side. But even when we’re shown lower functioning autistic children, we aren’t showed these sides. Because it’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. It’s sad.

No one wants to think about how most of those kids will never live alone. Never have a job, fall in love, and have kids. You don’t want to think of that. But that’s the fucking reality.

That’s what I mean when I used the term “real autism.” I meant defining autism for what it really is rather than the sugar coated reality it’s become for social media views. That’s why we have it trending and people thinking they know better than doctors. They aren’t shown the entire disorder because it’s uncomfortable.

To get back to the original ask, I apologize as that is not at all the message I wanted to send and I can obviously see how you would come to that conclusion. I’m more aiming to vent my frustration with how watered down and sugar coated the disorder has become to now allow it become a completely different thing than it once was. And to silence those who have daily experience their whole life with autistic individuals is shitty.

You’re completely correct anon. It’s really weird to think autism and then associate it with violence. No one wants to think that the image of what autism has been portrayed as is completely wrong. That these infantilized individuals suffer from experiencing upsetting symptoms. So we ignore it. And now we face the consequences of ignoring it.

Once again, thank you for asking. I’m glad I can clarify what I actually meant and it’s still totally okay to disagree with me. This is all my opinion and I appreciate being able to have civil conversations on the internet which is not common.

[toaverse]

Raya and the Last Dragon has a horrible and dangerous message

So awhile ago, I got an anon asking why I don’t like RatLD.

Originally, I wanted to explain it in detail, but after my kinda Encanto rant, I decided to just do this in the same style as well.

To clarify: This is about the story and message, NOT representation or anything else! I'm not asian, so it isn't my place to.

Disclaimer: All this is just my personal opinion, so don’t harass me :/

The message and the word “Trust” in general are shoved down your throat so rapidly that you choke on it. Seriously, the word itself is used and said too much, while we're also shown Raya being wary of people. That should've been enough, instead of hammering certain words over and over and over again.

"Maybe the world is broken because you don't trust anyone." Fuck no, bitch. We, the audience, saw Heart put all their trust into Fang and the other tribes, only to be stabbed in the back! Show, don't tell!

How the fuck was Sisu right for her “blindly trust everyone” mentality?? The movie portrays this as a good thing and something Raya had to do in the end (while ignoring her valid trauma!!), that its suppose to be a good message, but it isn't! THIS MESSAGE IS ACTUALLY DANGEROUS FOR CHILDREN!

So Namaari betrayed Raya, causing her to lose her father, traumatizing her, didn't even remotely apologize to her in the 6 years that have passed as Raya tries to save the world, chasing Raya over a scroll while insulting and taunting her, and fucking aims a crossbow at Sisu with her finger squeezing the trigger, shooting Sisu (Raya intervened and acted in self defense because of her trauma), which kills her. But Namaari and the movie point the finger at Raya, saying that she is as much to blame for Sisu's death, making her set things straight while Namaari never apologizes... This is gaslighting and victim blaming at its finest.

Fuck this movie...

As much as I don't like Encanto and its message of scapegoats having to fix their toxic family, this movie's message is way, way worse.

I'm even willing to argue that its outright dangerous for kids. RatLD teaches them that it's good to blindly trust everyone, even predators...

And not to mention the downright gaslighting and victim blaming...

Raya has trauma, valid trauma. Someone betrayed her trust and broke the gem, which caused the world to go to shit, but she's is constantly told by Sisu to trust people, that she should take the first step. But, just like Mirabel, Raya's trauma gets completely ignored! After Namaari shot Sisu, Raya even got blamed for that!

"But you're as much to blame for Sisu's death as I am!"

"Maybe the world is broken because you don't trust anyone."

"You have to take the first step."

Again, fuck this movie...

I'm actually worried for Strange World right now, given that the same director and one of the writers for RatLD are involved. (that last scene in the teaser already rubs me the wrong way...).

Think about your messages next time, Disney...

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy wilbur and george - the water olympics

requested:yes/no

part 9 to the great adventures series

warnings: cursing, a suicide joke (the one george made in the vlog)

you were currently sat in your bedroom editing a video for your youtube channel however someone had different plans as you heard your parents talking to someone telling them you were in your room and that they could go straight up

“Y/N ITS ME CAN I COME IN”

you laughed before getting up placing your laptop on your desk before opening your door letting your friend inside.

“what is it with people randomly showing up where I live”

“ill have you know I asked your parents”

“Pfft yeah okay Tommy sure you did. anyway I’m glad you’re here editing was beginning to make me want to throw my laptop”

“you are honestly so dramatic pass us your laptop I’ll edit for you if you let me stay the night as it’s about to rain”

“you brought a backpack with you...you clearly planned on staying the night anyway but yes it’s a deal”

Tommy laughed before sitting on your bed waiting for you to bring the laptop over and sit next to him keeping him entertained as he edits for you. it was around late afternoon when he finished editing the video and you spent the entire time telling him about your merch plans and getting the sizes and items he’s going to want as you were planning on sending him some when you’ve agreed on a final design and products

“all done I want full credit for editing”

“hey I edited like a whole 3 minutes of the video..fine fine just stop staring at me like that”

the two of you realised it was a little late and neither of you wanted to cook anything so decided to go to a local restaurant. a few hours later you arrived back home it was pretty late now so your parents had gone to bed so you had to keep reminding each other not to yell, once in your room the pair of you collapsed onto your bed, you rolled over to face Tommy

“So why are you actually here huh, what’s going on in that mind of yours”

“I know it’s short notice but tomorrow afternoon would you like to go to this inflatable water course with me will and George”

“I don’t have anything else to do so I’d be more than happy to come with you guys what time do we need to be awake, we may as well set an alarm now in case we fall asleep as I tend to sleep in really late”

“I’ve got it don’t worry about it”

Tommy set an alarm as you logged into Disney plus so you and Tommy could watch tv for a while before deciding on sleeping arrangements, you put on the good dinosaur and instantly regret that decision as you began ranting to Tommy about how the films depressing. soon enough the pair of you fell asleep.

at 9 am Tommy's alarm went off waking the pair of you up

“y/n get up we’re going to a lake”

“Okay okay I’m up”

Tommy went to the bathroom to get ready so you could get ready in your room a few minutes later you both made your way downstairs grabbing a snack you could eat whilst you waited for your taxi to arrive. the pair of you arrived at the lake first, George arrived next and that’s when you noticed Wilbur show up and George beginning to record what’s happening

“Tommy is he wearing a suit?” you tilted your head to the left as Wilbur stepped out of the car

“it worked George”

“Why are you wearing a suit?”

“for the meal”

“we’re not doing the restaurant”

your eyes widened and you tried to hide your laughter as Tommy said he couldn’t change as he only hired three wetsuits, you all made your way to get your wetsuits, Wilbur reluctantly following you all as soon as you all stepped in several people began to stare at you all

“they’re staring at me because I’m wearing a suit”

George laughed before telling him it could also be because your hair was awfully similar to a highlight. you lightly hit his shoulder before rolling your eyes

“rude”

you laughed as you went away to get changed returning a few moments later

“I’m ready boys oh they gave will a life jacket”

“Why do you sound so disappointed”

“you not a fan of drowning then?”

“no, I’m not!”

Tommy grabbed your hand and ran towards the water before jumping in taking you down with him

“TOMMY I HATE YOU”

“HELP ME”

“NO SUFFER”

soon enough will and George made it onto the inflatable, Tommy tried to film his intro however the fact you and George were jumping in the background made it rather difficult. Tommy ran to Wilbur who pushed him into the water

“HA GET FUCKED”

you made your way across but saw Tommy in the water making you laugh which made you fall in the water too

“well hello again y/n”

“Hello Tommy funny seeing you here”

George managed to help you up whilst Wilbur pretended to help Tommy up before walking away. Tommy just held onto the inflatable whilst looking at you

“fine”

you reached your hand out and helped him back up onto the inflatable.

you made your way across the bridge Wilbur not far behind you so he could push Tommy off of the bridge into the water, he did but fell with him, you fell over laughing as George went to help Wilbur but ended up falling in himself. you George and Tommy ran to a high point of the course which will wanted you all successfully defended it and even managed to push will into the water. you and George weren’t the best at this course you had fallen three times and George fell twice

“look at them both”

Tommy turned around to see you and George in the water again as the pair of you fell once back on the inflatable you both made your way back to the others however George slipped and grabbed your arm trying to stay up ultimately dragging you down with him

“When is it my turn to be happy”

you all made your way to the canopy without falling, well that was until Tommy decided to lean on it causing it to fall into the water taking Tommy with it

“bye tom”

“he’s stuck save him”

“Nah this is funny”

Wilbur ended up helping him by making it so he could actually climb onto the inflatable

“you’re embarrassing us in front of the lifeguards”

you made your way across the course this time you didn’t fall as much as you did earlier on in the day, Wilbur went to push Tommy into the water again however this time you and George decided to get payback and attempted to side tackle him so he fell into the water

“bye will”

will finally got back onto the inflatable and pulled you aside

“We should form an alliance...I wouldn’t leave you behind”

“deal”

“When I say meet you there you start running the course I'll make sure you don’t fall”

“understood let’s do this”

you got ready to go as will told Tommy and George that the truces weren’t working and there was only one way to settle it

“meet you there”

you started running across the course you were doing surprisingly well, Wilbur only had to prevent you from falling once and that was because you lost balance over one obstacle

“I've got you! keep going”

eventually, you both turned around to see that Tommy and George finally set off and were making their way to you both

“we’re team weak..strong every day of the week”

you managed to contain your laughter as George fell as soon as Tommy said that

“we’ll be team pussy”

soon enough they caught up you and will went to push Tommy into the water however George snuck up behind you both and pushed you into the water

“ah yes water my good friend we meet again”

will helped you up first then you helped him up will noticed George fell and went to push him in the water whilst you made your way to Tommy

“I call this the leg turrent”

“you plan on doing this forever heh?”

you helped George back up whilst Wilbur tackled Tommy further down the course

“oh Tommy is still on the floor”

“what have you done to him”

you made your way to Tommy with George only to hear Tommy yell about the art of deception followed by a splash and Tommy's laughter. George got up to go get the drinks but fell again then stood up slowly turning to face you all

“that was called comedy.. I'll go get the drinks kills myself”

“the hydration is good”

“ah thanks, George you see I’ve personally been spending the majority of my time in the water”

Tommy ran over to you all then fell into the water making you all laugh followed by Wilbur telling him to complete the line about how many people are and are not subscribed to his vlog channel

“When did George fall into the water”

“How are you guys feeling for a race”

“I’m down”

“right you and George are going to run that way around, y/n and I will run this way and we’ll meet at the nub we fought for”

“winner gets to launch the other of that big floppy thing”

“GO”

Tommy and George ran off before you two however you and will made it to the nub before the others, mainly because neither of you fell and worked together.

“come across Tommy we will let you have the win if you make it across that”

Tommy ran at the bridge however he fell three quarters over the bridge

“oh fucking hell”

“he tried”

you and will helped Tommy up however George ran over

“George you’re ruining the moment” Wilbur pushed him over the edge into the water

“bye again George”

“let’s go back to the nub”

“I think me and y/n technically won”

“friends?”

“friends”

Tommy decided to shake hands with will and made you go over to him so he could give you a hug you stood with will filming Tommy for the outro you waved bye to Tommy as he fell a rather long distance into the water, once will stopped recording he pushed you into the water from the same height

“WILL I'M GOING TO KILL YOU”

once you all dried off and got ready you and Tommy made your way back to yours as it was late you agreed Tommy may as well stay the night again, the pair of you spent the night playing games together and arguing about who won the game you missed spending time with just Tommy and he missed spending time with you so you were both incredibly thankful he decided to come over to yours a few days earlier than expected.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

[mysticpeony]

Encanto magic rant

So. I loved Encanto very much. I am Latin American and that movie speaks so much to me because I love and appreciate my culture so much. But I've run into people that don't feel the same story-wise. They said there was something missing or not quite making sense so here I am just having watched some parts of the movie over again.

Story-wise this movie is different since it doesn't exactly follow the structure of other animated Disney movies: introduction, problem, climax, resolution (or something like that--remember I'm just here to rant). Encanto focuses so much on its characters and their introductions that I believe they become the plot itself. There is no villain, only an antagonist in Abuela Alma. There are no clear answers to many questions (Why did Mirabel not get a gift? What was her gift in the end? Did she even have one? Where did the magic come from? Why did it burn out? Why did it come back?), only interpretations can be made. I'll share my interpretations of these questions next.

Well, first of all, if Encanto is as based on Latin American literature as I think it is, then the magic just is. It exists. It doesn't need a reason. Magical Realism as a genre is just magic within the "normal" world with no explanation needed. It just exists and intertwines with regular life. So that's that on that explanation lol.

(This is the moment to add a disclaimer: I absolutely empathize with Abuela Alma. She went through a lot, but it doesn't change nor justify her actions or the repercussions these had on her family. I still love her even though I hated her a lot a little in the movie. Ok. It's complicated, I know.✨Latin American family dynamics.✨ Moving on.)

Regarding Mirabel's gift here's where it gets interesting. I believe that Mirabel has the gift that was supposed to be Abuela Alma's. Abuela Alma was given the candle, hence the Encanto, for safety; she was basically appointed the leader of the people with her. Her purpose was to keep the Encanto safe. But the Encanto is not only the physical place--her children are a part of it as well, as they are magical and so is every descendant of theirs. So, what happens when the children and grandchildren don't feel happy or safe because of the pressure Alma puts on them? The Encanto fades away (or breaks) because Alma is not caring for the Encanto (her family) properly.

Here's where Mirabel comes in. She is the one most in contact with their Casita: she speaks to it, notices the small changes in its behavior, gets the most help from it, etc. She is the one noticing something wrong with the magic in general and is the one that starts looking for a way to fix it, while Alma, who is supposed to be its protector and caretaker, just brushes Mirabel's worries off and accuses her of jealousy. A clear example of this is in the scene with Isabela's song where Mirabel listens and understands how unhappy Isabela has always been with her role in the family. Right after she accepts Isabela for who she wants to be and Isabela starts using her gift in a way that makes her happy the cracks in the Casita begin to heal. Mirabel's acceptance and nurture keep the family together. That's her gift.

Mirabel helps her family realize that they are not their gifts. Look at Luisa--she feels absolutely useless without her gift to the point where she breaks down because she loses it. Alma sort of conditioned her love with the magical gifts given to each family member. And without their gifts, Alma wouldn't appreciate them (look what happened to Mirabel) and that didn't make them feel safe or happy. Only when they all felt loved and safe and accepted for being their true selves (without their magic) was the magic able to come back. And who did that? Mirabel. And how did it happen? When she put the knob on the door like how the rest of her family members got their own gifts and rooms. Only she didn't get a mere room, she got a magic HOUSE that is supposed to reflect her gift. And who inhabits it? Her FAMILY.

In the end, Alma and Mirabel's gift (according to my theory) is not physical like the rest of their family's, their gift is more subjective. They are protectors.

If you made it this far, I love you, thanks for reading my rant❤️

[mariska]

heyyy um i got a few new followers from, im assuming, the general population migration from twitter to here in the past few days and i just wanted 2 give the new folks a lil welcome greeting so.....welcome 2 my Home Page if u are one of those people im glad u like whatever i have to offer on here lol ✌️ idk how many people are completely new to tumblr in general or how many are like, tumblr users as well who either used both and decided to stick with this one over the other or are returning because of how batshit horrible it is Over There At The Bird Shit Site rn but just as a general bit of information, this has been my "personal" blog since i was 13 in 2010 so there is definitely not any kind of concrete theme or specific type of stuff i post, i've always used it pretty much as the one online social media site where i feel like i can actually be my authentic self, so sometimes i do unintentionally ramble about random stuff on my mind or a really bad day i've had or frustrations having to do with my disabilities; i did a lot more of that as a teenager and it honestly became Not A Great Coping Method for me at the time so i try not to info dump about negative stuff in my personal life on here like i did years ago, but unfortunately because i do have a lot of overlapping issues with both physical, neurological and mental health sometimes i'm just having a real bad day and this blog ends up being the only place i feel comfortable enough in the moment to rant. i just figured it's worth mentioning in case anyone is bothered or if that is a potential trigger for other peoples' own individual struggles, these days if i just really need to get something off my chest and feel like this is the only place where i can do that it's usually regarding medical health problems/symptoms that i'm not coping well with.

i think a few people may have followed me/found this blog from my 'as seen on my disney princess tv' posts that i like to do on here, so if you are one of those new followers, hello and thank you so much for encouraging that fun hobby of mine!! i mention it every once in a while but if you're new here you wouldn't know obviously; i am always super happy to take suggestions or requests for specific movies/shows/media that people would like to see me play on the pink princess tv and make a fancy photoset of, so i will always be open to requests for that whether its by sending a message in my inbox, leaving a reply on a post or even just like, tagging my username on a post for a specific piece of media and being like 'you should make a tv post for this', feel free to do any of those if u would like to!!

one last thing for this post i promise, this one is more of a request of my own and it's largely out of my control but i wanted to quickly say it at some point; i've never used twitter for any amount of time more than like 5 minutes 10 years ago (and a throwaway account i have for the purpose of making lobby note sketches in Splatoon games since u have to post them to twitter to put them in the game which is very silly to me), so i'm very unfamiliar with the general 'thread' type post format that seems to be the norm on there, but in this past week my blog here keeps getting "mentioned" in posts that have nothing to do with me by people i do not know because its a one word pretty widespread first name, and im not mad or anything about it, but it is really annoying honestly and i know nobody is doing it intentionally so i just wanted to let folks know: if you use the @ symbol in pretty much any text on this site except like, the tags of a post, and someone's blog url/username exists on here, it will tag that user in your post (including instances like replying in the comment reply part of a post that you didn't originally post yourself) even if there's more to the username before or after the part with an active url in it (for example, one instance from this week i got unintentionally tagged in started with 'mariska' and then had an underscore with some other words past that, so my account was automatically tagged and i got a notification that i was mentioned in a post even though it was just that first 'mariska' section of the username). i just wanted to ask everyone who may not be used to the different format style of posts on here vs shorter twitter threads to be aware of that Being A Thing, because it's already happened quite a few times and i do get notified of it every time i would very much appreciate not being brought into random posts via unintentional url mentions and i will most likely just block people if it continues to happen because i'm legitimately concerned that at some point it could end up being a case of my url being mentioned in a post or reply that is actively triggering to my mental health or includes disturbing content or something like that, thankfully that hasn't been the case so far, but just please double check that you aren't tagging a tumblr user in something before you post or reply; a good way to know if you unintentionally have done that is if the word typed after the @ is like, a lighter gray than the regular black default text, and also if you go to post something and you're not sure if someone's blog got tagged in it, an easy way to check is to first save that post as a draft (there should be a click/tap drop menu next to the 'post' button on both mobile and desktop versions of this site, if you bring up that menu it'll show a few different options like 'save as draft', 'add to queue', etc) and then go into your account's drafts and see if the post has that light gray url mention link in it, it should un-link the tagged person if you do something like adding a space between the @ and the username or using a backslash before the username like @/examplename.

sorry for the super long random post about all that LOL, i think i'll probably type up a much shorter and easier to read introduction post to pin at the top of my blog in the very near future, but in the meantime thanks for checking out my lil 2020s geocities homepage lmao 😌✌️

[novasintheroom]

Hiya~ :D Saw your requests were open. Mind if I ask for one, please? Would you do me the honour of writing a 'lil somethin' somethin' with the bois' fem!S/O seeing them cry for the first time and how she would handle it? 2003 or Bayverse, your choice. ;) Please?

I had this ask nearly done and then my computer ATE it lmao I’m so sorry it took this long to answer!!!

Leo

·         Takes a lot to get this guy to cry tbh. Has to be something really tragic or traumatizing to get him going. That, or watching Coco

·         Which is exactly how you see him cry for the first time

·         The guys hadn’t seen many Disney movies, so you decide to rectify that with a Disney night. Coco is first, and Leo is Unprepared™ for Miguel and Coco singing together at the end

·         He has to leave like right after because he’s holding back sobs, and you’re like ‘wtf’. Like, it’s sad, and you’re a bit teary-eyed, but it’s not that bad, right?

·         You follow him and find him in a corner deep in the lair trying to get it together. You ask him what’s up, and he confesses that seeing Coco so old reminded him that Splinter’s getting old too, and he’s worried about keeping his family together once he passes

·         All of Raph’s threats to leave over the years have really dug under his skin

·         Gall, it’s heart wrenching to see him trying to hold it in and apologizing for his “stupid” worries. So you wrap him in a hug and tell him it’s okay to be sad about it, and to let it out. You’re surprised when he does start crying, even though it’s quiet.

·         You also tell him that he’s never gonna lose his family or you, even after Splinter’s gone. His family’s gonna stick around because everyone loves him.

·         He doesn’t cry much (read: at all) after that, but he comes to you a lot more when something bothers him or makes him sad. Really helps your relationship improve overall!

Raph

·         2nd most likely to cry out of the brothers. He’s an emotional guy okay.

·         Hates to be caught crying though lmao – would rather die before admit he shed a tear

·         First time you see him cry, you catch him on your roof before he can leave

·         It’s a surprise, since you weren’t expecting to see him that night, but you’re happy to see him anyways.

·         He’s a bit distant, though, like he’s trying to decide to leave or not. You ask him what’s up, and he just mumbles something you can’t hear. You ask again, and he sighs this aggravated sound and just sits on the roof

·         “I ran into some humans tonight. Stopped a mugging happening. Was gonna just get outta there after, but the people I saved started throwing rocks and bottles at me. Callin’ me a freak.”

·         You didn’t know, but that’s the third time this week that’s happened. He may not show it like Mikey, but that stuff still hurts to hear, even if it’s gotten a bit better working with the NYPD

·         He starts ranting about it, about how people just don’t care anymore, that he should’ve just let them get mugged instead of helping them because they didn’t deserve help (he doesn’t mean it, Splinter’s taught him better; but you know how anger can fuel meaningless words)

·         You sit beside him, dangling your feet over the roof’s side, and take his hand in yours while he talks. His throat grows tight, and he has to stop a few times to keep the tears from falling, and when one does, he just gets more angry and starts on another tangent. He doesn’t move from your side, though. You’re a balm to his wounds.

·         Eventually all he can do is breathe heavy, and in a broken voice, ask, “Why was I made like this? It’s not fair.” Gall, if that doesn’t just break your heart…

·         So you hug his arm, and tell him how much you love him. He’s right, it’s not fair that he has to live in the shadows, away from people when all he wants is to be normal. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love and happiness, and you promise that you’ll always love him for him, not for what he could be or should be.

·         It’s exactly what he needs to hear. He knew there was a reason he came to you that night.

·         He still tries to not cry around you, but this experience helps him feel more comfortable in being vulnerable with you.

Donnie

·         Nearly as unlikely to cry as Leo, but not quite

·         His crying usually comes from tears of frustration more than anything

·         He’s a determined guy, and is hard-pressed to give up on something when he puts his mind to it

·         But man it’s aggravating when that tech he’s been working on for months just keeps blowing up or just won’t work and he can’t figure out why

·         That’s how you find him and see him cry for the first time. You come into the lair, rearing to have some fun with new tech Donnie said he was working on. When you get to his lab, he’s hunched over his desk. He didn’t notice you come in, and he sniffs a few times

·         Your hand on his shell makes him jump, and he tries wiping the tears away with the tails of his mask, asking you when you got here, how’s your day, oh no, he’s fine, just a bit of dust trailing in from the sewers

·         The air filter rattling at the desk makes that a bit doubtful

·         So you pull the paper screen he has nearby around the desk to give a bit more privacy and ask him what’s wrong. He tries to deny it – “it’s just dust, my eyes are tired from the screens,” etc. etc. – but then you ask about the little bug-like device sitting in front of him, and he sighs like all the world is wrong. It’s a new mobile spying device he’d been developing for tracking Foot Clan people in hard-to-reach places (i.e. lots of humans around), but its legs keep locking up, or the sound cuts out, and it’s so tiny and his hands are so big despite the tools he has specifically for that kind of stuff

·         A few more tears leak out, and he wipes them again

·         So you offer to help him with the little things – not just the bug, but getting him the water and food he’s been neglecting for hours as well

·         A full stomach always brings up anyone’s mood

·         You also force him to take a break and catch up on an episode of a TV show you’ve both been watching

·         He feels a lot better after all the care, and is so glad to have you around – especially when you get the bug’s legs working for the first time

Mikey

·         Oh he’s a crier, baby

·         If he hasn’t had a good cry in a month, something’s wrong. He fully subscribes to the belief that a good cry relieves stress lol

·         First time you see him cry is when you guys are just watching YouTube videos on your phone. One of those charity ads pop up for impounded and abused animals, and he is just gone. Sobbing into your shoulder, reaching for a blanket to wipe his nose on, the works

·         You’re just so caught off guard – like one minute you guys are laughing at some gamer playing Phasmophobia, the next he’s blubbering about the “poor kitties and dogs” and “why are people so cruel!”

·         Raph walks by and throws a tissue pack your way. “He’s gonna be there a minute. Get comfy.”

·         So you comfort Mikey, rubbing his shell and handing him tissues when one gets too soaked. His cry sessions usually morph into other things he’s been stressing or sad about, so it’s a lot of talking over the meaning of life, morals, etc. etc.

·         He even manages to get you to cry a bit, and then he’s comforting you about whatever you’re getting off your chest

·         Once it’s over, he’s back to his happy self, with a weight off his shoulders that honestly he didn’t realize was there

·         You learn to carry tissues in your pocket from then on – you never know when a stray kitten could set him off lmao

[annqbthchse]

Agathas casting + Sofia Wylie

hi I just chugged 2 redbulls, ranted to my friend for like an hour about this because the amount of absolute disrespect and just plain racism i've seen about the casting infuriates me. so here are some of the comments i've seen and my opinion/reaction to them (this is literally just a passionate brain explosion done quite late at night -10pm-  and vv quickly so I apologise if some points are missing/worded weirdly!!)

“she isn’t how she looks in the books” || “i’m all for diversity but [🙄] why did they make the pale one a POC” || “it doesn’t make sense for agatha to be played by a black actress”

for those saying it doesn't make sense for agatha to be plated by a black women,,,  what are you talking about!!! IT ACTUALLY DOES THO???? if anything it makes more sense and adds more weight to her storyline and character arc! her entire arc is realising she has been beautiful ALL ALONG. its just her low self esteem and the impossibly and very eurocentric high beauty standards that's she's up against at the school for good & in Gavaldon keeping her down. having agatha being played by a WOC is perfect because that is something we unfortunatly have to face on a daily basis. it makes for a wider range of people to see agatha and her experiences and be able to relate to someone whose place in society mirrors their own. and isn’t that great??? SHOULDN’T WE WANT THAT????yes. we should.

as a WOC myself, when i found out the news I literally called my friend at like 8am to be like “HOLY SHIT :DDDD” its exciting!! i know that a lot of people loved agatha because they could relate to her and that's great! but you still have that!! book agatha isn’t going anywhere. she's still there! like i've said before, Sofia as agatha allows MORE people to be able to relate to her character. This is an amazing decision and these kind of changes in the adaptation should be welcomed and encouraged. i

and also you can’t just pick and choose what characters can/cannot be black. that literally makes 0 sense and isn’t how it works. having agatha - one of the films lead-  as a WOC is a big deal and suggesting that instead have the side characters have diverse actors infuriates me. why does it have to be a side character??? it makes as much sense for agatha to be black as it does any other side character and sofia is perfect!

ALso Soman (who first published SGE in 2013) probably just used whatever beauty standards at the time and ran with it. but hey, it's literally 2020 and if this year has taught us anything it's that times are changing! casting a diverse lead for a book that has a predominantly white cast reflects that change! its great! tbh before the casting news, i was very apprehensive about the movie because of some of the problematic themes and events that occur but this casting is the step in the right direction! it shows that at least on some level the people making the movie are all aware of its wrongdoings and adapting the movie to better fit and reflect a wider audience in 2020.which is what we all (or at least should) want!!

“She doesnt have straight black hair so she can’t possibly play agatha”

first of all her hair is gorgeous!!! and does it really matter that she wont have straight hair??? will you die if one fictional character doesn't have straight hair?? no. you won't. and she shouldn’t have to straighten, use relaxers or wear a wig to play the role. hollywood has a long standing history of making diverse (predominantly Black!!) actresses having to fit Eurocentric beauty standards LIKE having straight hair. and using relaxes can also be a really traumatising and degrading experience for black women and its unfair for people demand that she can only play agatha if she “fixes” her hair. and yea again it has some very racist undertones. but dudes this is HAIR we’re talking about people. it's such a stupid finicky detail to hyperfocus on that won’t even affect the plot or the movie in any big way. I for one would love to see Sofia play Agatha with her beautiful, gorgeous, natural hair!

we all have our different interpretations and visions of agatha and that's ok! but with that and the movie you have to be realistic. there is no way they could’ve casted the ‘perfect’ agatha. even if they did stick to her book descriptions. you can't please everyone and people will always have opinions and something to say about it

“I can’t see her as agatha because of her previous disney roles”

bruh it's called acting. and you know another famous actress known for the classic disney roles and is now an emmy award winning actress?? ZenDAYA. yea. stfu. we haven’t even seen them in their full costumes or anything, hell this is really the first big information that we’ve had! give it some time,,, lets see the rest of the cast, the costumes, the sets and THEN decide if “she's not my agatha” c’mon guys!! she's insanely talented (a triple threat at 16!!!) and criticising her casting of agatha based on one photo - which literally says nothing about her performance- does have some severe racist undertones no matter how many times you try to defend yourself using the classic “i’m not racist but-” excuse.  

The people who casted her are literal professionals. they do this for a LIVING and have been for ages. SO ofc they would’ve casted the perfect person for the role. these are the same people who casted Harry Potter. pls just have faith in the process. they don’t want the movie to be a flop any more than we do. they picked her for a reason and i'm sure that in time we will see the exact same reasons they do

“I wanted asian agatha so i’m very disappointed in this casting”

I get it, I do but honestly,, c’mon dude A WIN FOR ONE OF US IS A WIN FOR ALL!! all minorities are all severely underrepresented in hollywood rn and idk about y’all but i’m taking this as a massive win for all us POC regardless of whether she's black, brown or asian.

“Sofias too beautiful” || “Agatha's supposed to be ugly >:(”

Agatha has literally been “beautiful all along”. the problem isn’t that she's ugly, its just that she's had impossibly low self esteem and doesn't see herself that way because of the impossibly high (mostly eurocentric) beauty standards she's held against. and with the ugly casting??? you really want them to put out a casting call specifically calling for someone ugly?? what would that even entail?? dudes The Lord of the Rings TV show tried that shit here in NZ a lil bit ago and it did NOT go down well lmao. you can’t just cast an ‘ugly’ person. also ‘hollywood’ ugly is still hot (e.g She's all That ) so idk what you guys were expecting????

pls remember Sofia is literally 16 (!!!!), she's so young and must’ve been SO excited to have gotten this role!! and if we can see all these comments, she definitely can so just be kind. ok

anyways,,,

Sofia is absolutely gorgeous and the perfect agatha and i’m very excited to see more of her ❤️

[ariainstars]

Thank You, Disney Lucasfilm… For Destroying My Dreams

Warning: longer post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So… I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ a few weeks ago. Again.

Sigh.

I guess it has its good sides. But professional critics tend to dislike it and even the general audience doesn’t go crazy for it. I wonder why?

  The Fantasy

When his saga became a groundbreaking pop phenomenon in the 1970es, George Lucas reportedly said that he wanted to tell fairy tales again in world that no longer seemed to offer young people a chance to grow up with them. The fact that his saga was met with such unabashed, international enthusiasm proves that he was right: people long for fairy tales no matter how old they are and what culture they belong to.

“Young people today don’t have a fantasy life anymore, not the way we did… All they’ve got is Kojak and Dirty Harry. All the films they see are movies of disasters and insecurity and realistic violence.” (George Lucas)

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for more than thirty years. I love the Original Trilogy but honestly it did not make me dream much, perhaps because when I saw it the trilogy was already complete. The Prequel Trilogy also did not inspire my fantasy.

The Last Jedi accomplished something that no TV show, book or film had managed in years: it made me dream. The richness of colorful characters, multifaceted themes, unexpected developments, intriguing relationships was something I had not come across in a long time: it fascinated me. I felt like a giddy teenager reading up meta’s, writing my own and imagining all sorts of beautiful endings for the saga for almost two years.

So if there’s something The Rise of Skywalker can pride itself on for me, it’s that it crushed almost every dream I had about it. The few things I had figured out – Rey’s fall to the Dark, Ben Solo’s redemption, the connection between them - did not even make me happy because they were tainted by the flatness of the storytelling reducing the Force to a superpower again (like the general audience seems to believe it is), and its deliberate ignoring of almost all messages of The Last Jedi.

Many fans of the Original Trilogy also were disillusioned by the saga over the decades and ranted at the studios for “destroying their childhood”. Now we, the fans of the sequels and in particular of The Last Jedi, are in the same situation… but the thought doesn’t make the pill much easier to swallow. What grates on my nerves is the feeling that someone trampled on my just newly found dreams like a naughty child kicking a doll’s house apart. Why give us something to dream of in the first place, then? To a certain extent I can understand that many fans would angrily assume that Disney Lucasfilm made the Sequel Trilogy for the purpose of destroying their idea of the saga. The point is that they had their happy ending, while every dream the fans of the Sequel Trilogy may have had was shattered with this unexpectedly flat and hollow final note.

I know many fans who dislike the Prequel Trilogy heartily. I also prefer the Original Trilogy, but I find the prequels all right in their own way, also since I gave them some thought. However, it can’t be denied that they lack the magic spark which made the Original Trilogy so special. Which makes sense since they are not a fairy tale but ultimately a tragedy, but in my opinion it’s the one of the main reasons why the Prequel Trilogy never was quite so successful, or so beloved.

Same goes for Rogue One, Solo, or Clone Wars. They’re ok in their way, but not magical.

The sequel trilogy started quite satisfyingly with The Force Awakens, but for me, the actual bomb dropped with The Last Jedi. Reason? It was a magical story. It had the spark again that I had missed in the new Star Wars stories for decades! And it was packed full of beautiful messages and promises.

The Force is not a superpower belonging solely to the Jedi Anyone can be a hero. Even the greatest heroes can fail, but they will still be heroes. Hope is like the sun: if you only believe in it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night. Failure is the greatest teacher. It’s more important to save the light than to seem a hero. No one is never truly gone. War is only a machine. Dark Side and Light Side can be unbeatable if they are allies. Save what you love instead of destroying what you hate.

Naively, I assumed the trilogy would continue and end in that same magical way. And then came The Rise of Skywalker… which looks and feels like a Marvel superhero story at best and an over-long videogame at worst.

Chekov’s Gun

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

(Anton Chekov, 1860 - 1904)

If you show an important looking prop and don’t put it to use, it leaves the audience feeling baffled. There is a huge difference between a story’s setup, and the audience’s feeling of entitlement. E.g. many viewers expected Luke to jump right back into the fray in Episode VIII, because that’s what a hero does, isn’t it? The cavalry comes and saves the day. And instead, we met a disillusioned elderly hermit who is tired of the ways of the Jedi. But there was no actual reason for disappointment: in Episode VII it was very clearly said (through Han, his best friend) that Luke had gone into exile on purpose, feeling responsible for his failure in teaching a new generation of Jedi. It would have been more than stupid to show him as an all-powerful and all-knowing man who kills the bad guys. Sorry but who expected that was a victim to his own prejudice.

A promise left unfulfilled is a different story. The Last Jedi set up a lot of promises that didn’t come true in The Rise of Skywalker: Balance as announced by the Jedi temple mosaic, a new Jedi Order hinted at by Luke on Crait, a good ending for Ben and Rey set up by the hand-touching scene which was opposite to Anakin’s and Padmés wedding scene. Many fans were annoyed about the Canto Bight sequence. I liked it because it felt like the set-up for a lot of important stuff: partnership between Finn and Rose whom we see working together excellently, freedom for the enslaved children (one of whom is Force-sensitive), DJ and Rose expressing what makes wars in general foolish and beside the point. So if we, the fans of Episode VIII, now feel angry and let down, I daresay it’s not due to entitlement. We were announced magical outcomes and not just pew-pew.

The Star Wars saga never repeated itself but always developed and enlarged its themes, so it was to be expected that delving deeper, uncomfortable truths would come out: wars don’t start out of nowhere, and they don’t flare up and continue for decades for the same reason. In order to find Balance, the Jedi’s and the Skywalker family’s myths needed to be dismantled. Which is not necessarily bad as long it is explained how things came to this, and a better alternative is offered. The prequels explained the old political order and the beginnings of the Skywalker family, and announced that the next generation would do better. The sequels hardly explained anything about the 30 years that passed since our heroes won the battle against the Empire, and while The Last Jedi hinted at the future a lot, The Rise of Skywalker seemed to make a point of ignoring all of it.

  The Skywalker Family Is Obliterated. Why?

Luke was proven right that his nephew would mean the end of everything he loved. The lineage of the Chosen One is gone. His grandson had begun where Vader had ended - tormented, pale and with sad eyes - and he met the same fate. Luke, Han, Leia, all sacrificed themselves to bring Ben Solo back for nothing. Him being the reincarnation of the Chosen One and getting a new chance should have been meaningful for all of them; instead, he literally left the scepter to Rey who did nothing to deserve it: merely because she killed the Bad Guy does not mean she will do a better job than the family whose name and legacy she proudly takes over.

I do hope there was a good reason if the sequels did not tell “The New Adventures of Luke, Leia and Han” and instead showed us a broken family on the eve of its wipeout. It would have been much easier, and more fun for the audience, to bring the trio back again after a few years and pick up where they had left. Instead we had to watch their son, nephew and heir go his grandfather’s way - born with huge power, branded as Meant to Be Dangerous from the start, tried his best to be a Jedi although he wanted to be a pilot, never felt accepted, abandoned in the moment of his greatest need, went to his abuser because he was the only one to turn to, became a criminal, his own family (in Anakin’s case: Obi-Wan and Yoda) trained the person who was closest to him to kill him, sacrificed himself for this person and died. And in his case, it’s particularly frustrating because Kylo Ren wasn’t half as impressive a villain as Vader, and Ben Solo had a very limited time of heroism and personal fulfilment, contrarily to Anakin when he was young.

The impact of The Rise of Skywalker was traumatic for some viewers. I know of adolescents and adults, victims of family abandonment and abuse, who identified with Ben: they were told that you can never be more than the sum of your abuse and abandonment, and that they’re replaceable if they’re not “good”. Children identifying with Rey were told that their parents might sell them away for “protection”. Rey was not conflicted, she had a few doubts but overall, she was cool about everything she did, so she got everything on a silver platter; that’s why as a viewer, after a while you stopped caring for her. Her antagonist was doomed from birth because he dared to question the choices other people made for him. It seems that in the Star Wars universe, you can only “rise” if you’re either a criminal but cool because you’ve always got a bucket over your head (Vader / the Mandalorian) or are a saint-like figure (Luke / Rey).

One of Obi-Wan’s first actions in A New Hope is cutting off someone’s arm who was only annoying him; Han Solo, ditto. These were no acts of self-defense. The Mandalorian is an outlaw. Yet they are highly popular. Why? Because they always keep their cool, so anything they do seems justified. Young Anakin was hated, Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen attacked for his portrayal. For the same reason many fans feel that Luke is the least important of the original trio although basically the Original Trilogy is his story: it seems the general audience hates nothing more than emotionality in a guy. They want James Bond, Batman or Indiana Jones as the lead. Padmé loved Anakin because she always saw the good little boy he once was in him; his attempts at impressing her with his flirting or his masculinity failed. Kylo tried to impress Rey with his knowledge and power, but she fled from him - she wanted the gentle, emphatic young man who had listened to her when she felt alone. Good message. But both died miserably, and Ben didn’t even get anything but a kiss. Realizing that his “not being as strong as Darth Vader” might actually be a strength of its own would have meant much more.

The heroes of the Original Trilogy had their adventures together and their happy ending; the heroes of the Prequel Trilogy also had good times and accomplishments in their youth, before everything went awry. Rey, Finn and Poe feel like their friendship hardly got started; Rose was almost obliterated from the narrative; and Ben Solo seems to have had only one happy moment in his entire life. Of course it’s terrible that he committed patricide (even if it was under coercion), but Anakin / Vader himself had two happy endings in the Prequel Trilogy before he became the monster we know so well. Not to mention Clone Wars, where he has heroic moments unnumbered.

The Skywalker family is obliterated without Balance in the Force, and the young woman who inherited all doesn’t seem to have learned any lesson from all this. The Original Trilogy became a part of pop culture among other things because its ending was satisfying. We can hardly be expected to be satisfied with an ending where our heroes are all dead and the heir of their worst enemy takes over. What good was the happy ending of the Original Trilogy for if they didn’t learn enough from their misadventures to learn how to protect one single person - their son and nephew, their future?

For a long time, I also thought that the saga was about Good vs. Evil. Watching the prequels again, I came to the conclusion that it is rather about Love vs. War. And now, considering as a whole, I believe it to be essentially Jedi against Skywalker. The ending, as it is now, says that both fractions lost: they annihilated one another, leaving a third party in charge, who believes to be both but actually knows very little about them.

Star Wars and Morality

After 9 films and 42 years, it still is not possible to make the general audience accept that it is wrong to divide people between Good and Evil in the first place. The massive rejection of both prequels and sequels, which have moral grey zones galore, shows it.

It is also not possible without being accused of actual blasphemy in the same fandom, to say the plain truth that no Skywalker ever was a Jedi at heart. As their name says, they’re pilots. Luke was the last and strongest of all Jedi because he always was first and foremost himself. Anakin was crushed by the Jedi’s attempts to stifle his feelings. His grandson, too. A Force-sensitive person ought to have the choice whether they want to be a Jedi or not; they ought not to be taught to suppress their emotions and live only on duty, without really caring for other people; and they ought to grow up feeling in a safe and loving environment, not torn away from their families in infancy, indoctrinated and provided with a light sabre (a deadly weapon) while they’re still small. A Jedi order composed of child soldiers or know-it-all’s does not really help anybody.

The original Star Wars saga was about love and friendship; although many viewers did not want to understand that message. The prequels portrayed the Jedi as detached and arrogant and Anakin Skywalker sympathetically, a huge disappointment for who only accepts stories of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. The Last Jedi was so hated that The Rise of Skywalker backpedaled: sorry, of course you’re right, here you have your “hero who knows everything better and fixes everything for you on a silver platter”. The embarrassing antihero, who saves the girl who was the only person showing him some human compassion, can die miserably in the process and is not even mourned.

Honestly: I was doubtful whether it would be adequate to give Ben Solo a happy ending after the patricide. I guess letting him die was the easiest way out for the authors to escape censorship. (I even wrote this in a review on amazon about The Last Jedi, before I delved deeper into the saga’s themes.) The messages we got now are even worse.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

A parent can replace a child if they’re not the way they expect them to be. A victim of lifelong psychical and physical abuse can only find escape in death, whether he damns or redeems himself. An introspective, sensitive young man is a loser no matter how hard he tries either way. A whole family can sacrifice itself to save their heir, he dies anyway.

Rey

Self-righteousness is acceptable as long as you find a scapegoat for your own failings. Overconfidence justifies anything you do. You can’t carve your way as a female child of “nobodies”, you have to descend from someone male and powerful even if that someone is the devil incarnate. You are a “strong female” if you choose to be lonely; you need neither a partner nor friends.

In General

Star Wars is not about individual choices, loyalty, friendship and love, it is a classic Western story with a lonesome cowboy (in this case: cowgirl) at its centre. Satisfied? 

The father-son-relationship between Vader and Luke mirrors the Biblical story of Cain and Abel, saying that whoever we may want to kill is, in truth, our kin, which makes a clear separation in Good and Evil impossible. The “I am your father” scene is so infamous by now that even non-fans are aware of it; but this relationship between evil guy and good guy, as well as the plot turns where the villain saves the hero and that the hero discards his weapon are looked upon rather as weird narrative quirks instead of a moral. 

In  an action movie fan, things are simple: good guy vs. bad guy, the good guy (e.g. James Bond may be a murderer and a misogynist, but that’s ok because he’s cool about it) kills the bad guy, ka-boom, end of story. But Star Wars is a parable, an ambitious project told over decades of cinema, and a multilayered story with recurring themes.

A fairy tale ought to have a moral. The moral of both Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy was compassionate love - choose it and you can end a raging conflict, reject it and you will cause it. What was the moral of the Sequel Trilogy? You can be the offspring of the galaxy’s worst terror and display a similar attitude, but pose as a Jedi and kill unnecessarily, and it’s all right; descend from Darth Vader (who himself was a victim long before he became a culprit) and whether you try to become a Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker or a Sith trained by his worst enemy, you will end badly?

Both original and prequel trilogy often showed “good” people making bad choices and the “bad ones” making the right choices. To ensure lasting peace, no Force user ought to be believe that he must choose one side and then stick to it for the rest of his life: both sides need one another. The prequels took 3 films to convey this message, though not saying so openly. The Last Jedi said it out clearly - and the authors almost had their heads ripped off by affronted fans, resulting in The Rise of Skywalker’s fan service. It’s not like Luke, Han and Leia were less heroic in the Sequel Trilogy, on the contrary, they gave everything they had to their respective cause. They were not united, and they were more human than they had once been. Apparently, that’s an affront.

The Jedi are no perfect heroes and know-it-all’s and they never were, the facts are there for everyone to see. Padmé went alone and pregnant to get her husband out of Mustafar - and she almost succeeded - although she knew what he had done and that he was perfectly capable of it (he had told her of the Tusken village massacre himself) because she still saw the good little boy he had been in him; Obi-Wan left him amputated and burning in the lava, although he had raised Anakin like a small brother and the latter had repeatedly saved his life. But Padmé was not a Jedi, so I guess she still had some human decency. Neither Obi-Wan nor Yoda lifted a finger for the oppressed populations of the galaxy during the Empire, waiting instead for Anakin’s son to grow up so they could trick him into committing patricide. Neither Luke nor Leia did anything for their own son and nephew while he became the scourge of the galaxy, damning his soul by committing crime after crime. On Exegol, Rey heard the voices of all Jedi encouraging her to fight Palpatine to death. After that, they left her to die alone, and the alleged “bad guy”, who had already saved her soul from giving in to Palpatine’s lures, had to save her life by giving her his own. The Jedi merely know that “their side” has to win, no matter the cost for anyone’s life, sanity, integrity or happiness.

Excuse me, these are simple facts. How anyone can still believe that the Jedi were super-powerful heroes who always win or all-knowing wizards who are always right is beyond me. Luke, the last and strongest of them, like a bright flickering of light before the ultimate end, showed us that the best of men can fail. There is nothing wrong with that in itself. But it is wrong and utterly frustrating when all of the failure never leads to anything better. If Rey means to rebuild the Jedi order to something better than it was, there was no hint at that whatsoever.

  And What Now?

The Last Jedi hit theatres only 2 years before The Rise of Skywalker, and I can’t imagine that the responsible authors all have forgotten how to make competent work in the meantime; more so considering that Solo or The Mandalorian are solid work. Episode IX is thematically so painfully flat it seems like they wanted us to give up on the saga on purpose. The last instalment of a 42-year-old saga ought to have been the best and most meaningful. I had heard already decades ago that the saga was supposed to have 9 chapters, so I was not among who protested against the sequels thinking that they had been thought up to make what had come before invalid. I naively assumed a larger purpose. But Episode IX only seems to prove these critics perfectly right.

The last of the flesh and blood of the Chosen One is dead without having “finished what his grandfather started”?

Still no Balance in the Force?

And worst of all, Palpatine’s granddaughter taking over, having proven repeatedly that she is not suited for the task?

Sorry, this “ending” is absurd. I have read fanfiction that was better written and more interesting. And, most of all, less depressing. I was counting on a conclusion that showed that the Force has all colours and nuances, and that it’s not limited to the black-and-white view “we against them”. That’s the ending all of us fans would have deserved, instead of catering the daddy issues of the part of the audience who doesn’t want stories other than those of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. I myself grew up on Japanese anime, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I can’t stand guys like James Bond or Batman and why I think you don’t need “a great hero who fixes the situation” but that group spirit and communication are way more important.

It was absolutely unexpected that Disney, the production company whose trademark are happy endings and family stories, would end this beloved and successful saga after almost half a century on such a hollow note. Why tell first a beautiful fairy tale and then leave the audience on a hook for 35 years to continue first with a tragedy (which at least was expected) and then with another (unexpected one)? And this story is supposed to be for children? Like children would understand all of the subtext, and love sad, cautionary tales. Children, as well as the general audience, first of all want to be entertained! No one wants to watch the legendary Skywalker family be obliterated and a Palpatine take over. The sequels were no fun anymore; we’ve been left with another open ending and hardly an explanation about what happened in the 30 years in between. If you want to tell a cautionary tale, you should better warn the general audience beforehand.

The Original Trilogy is so good because it’s entertaining and offers room for thought for who wants to think about its deeper themes, and also leaves enough space for dreams. Same goes for the first two films of the Sequel Trilogy; but precisely the last, which should have wrapped up the saga, leaves us with a bitter aftertaste and dozens of questions marks. 

We as the audience believe that a story, despite the tragic things that happen, must go somewhere; we get invested into the characters, we root for them, we want to see them happy in the end. (The authors of series like Girls, How I Met Your Mother or Game of Thrones ought to be reminded of that, too.) I was in contact with children and teenagers saying that the Sequel Trilogy are “boring”; and many, children or adults, who were devastated by its concluson. There is a difference between wanting to tell a cautionary tale and playing the audience for fools. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. Who watches a family or fantasy story or a romantic / comedic sitcom wants to escape into another world, not to be hit over his head with a mirror to his own failings, and the ones of the society he’s living in. Messages are all right, but they ought not to go at the cost of the audience’s satisfaction about the about the people and narrative threads they have invested in for years.

This isn’t a family story: but children probably didn’t pester the studios with angry e-mails and twitter messages etc. They simply counted on a redemption arc and happy ending, and they were right, because they’re not as stupid as adults are. I have read and watched many a comment from fans who hate The Last Jedi. Many of these fans couldn’t even pinpoint what their rage was all about, they only proved to be stuck with the original trilogy and unwilling to widen their horizon. But at least their heroes had had their happy ending: The Rise of Skywalker obliterated the successes of all three generations of Skywalkers.

If the film studios wanted to tease us, they’ve excelled. If they expect the general audience to break their heads over the sequels’ metaphysics, they have not learned from the reactions to the prequels that most viewers take these films at face value. Not everybody is elbows-deep in the saga, or willing to research about it for months, and / or insightful enough to see the story’s connections. Which is why many viewers frown at the narrative and believe the Sequel Trilogy was just badly written. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. As it is now, the whole trilogy is hanging somewhere in the air, with neither a past nor a future to be tied in with.

The prequels already had the flaw of remaining too obscure: most fans are not aware that Anakin had unwillingly killed his wife during the terrible operation that turned him into Darth Vader, sucking her life out of her through the Force: most go by “she died of a broken heart”. So although one scene mirrors the other, it is not likely that most viewers will understand what Rey’s resurrection meant. And: Why did Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon Jinn? What did the Sith want revenge for? Who was behind Shmi’s abduction and torture? Who had placed the order for the production of the clones, and to what purpose? We can imagine or try to reconstruct the answers, but nothing is confirmed by the story itself.

The sequels remained even more in the dark, obfuscating what little explanation we got in The Rise of Skywalker with quick pacing and mind-numbing effects.

Kylo Ren had promised his grandfather that “he would finish what he started”: he did not. Whatever one can say of this last film, it did not bring Balance in the Force. What’s worse, the subject was not even breached. It was hinted at by the mosaic on the floor of the Prime Jedi Temple on Ahch-To, but although Luke and Rey were sitting on its border, they never seemed to see what was right under their noses. It remains inexplicable why it was there for everyone to see in the first place.

We might argue that Ben finished what his grandfather started by killing (or better, causing the death of) the last Jedi, who this one couldn’t kill because he was his own son; but leaving Rey in charge, he helped her finish what her grandfather had started. The irony could hardly be worse.

Episode IX looks like J.J. Abrams simply completed what they started with Episode VII, largely ignoring the next film as if it was always planned to do so. We, the angry and disappointed fans of The Last Jedi, may believe it was due to some of the general audience’s angry backlash, but honestly: the studios aren’t that dumb. They had to know that Episode VIII would be controversial and that many fans would hate it. The furious reactions were largely a disgrace, but no one can make me believe that they were totally unexpected. Nor can anyone convince me that The Rise of Skywalker was merely an answer to the small but very loud part of the audience who hated The Last Jedi: a company with the power and the returns of Disney Lucasfilm does not need to buckle down before some fan’s entitlement and narrowmindedness out of fear of losing money. And if they do, it was foolish to make Rey so perfect that she becomes almost odious, and to let the last of the Skywalker blood die a meaningless death. (Had he saved the Canto Bight children and left them with Rey, at least he would have died with honor; and she, the child left behind by her parents, would have had a task to dedicate herself to.)

The only reason I can find for this odd ending is that it’s meant to prepare the way for Rian Johnson’s new trilogy, which - hopefully - will finally be about Balance. We as the audience don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Filmmaking is a business like any other, i.e. based on contracts; and I first heard that Rian Johnson had negotiated a trilogy of his own since before Episode VIII hit theatres. Maybe he kept all the rights of intellectual property to his own film, including that he would finish the threads he picked up and close the narrative circles he opened, and only he; and that his alleged working on “something completely different” is deliberately misleading.

Some viewers love the original trilogy, some love the prequels, some like both; but I hardly expect anyone to love the sequel trilogy as a whole. What with the first instalment “letting the past die, killing it if they had to”, the second hinting at a promising future and the third patched on at the very last like some sort of band-aid, it was not coherent. I heard the responsible team for Game of Thrones even dropped their work, producing a dissatisfying, quickly sewn together last season, for this new Star Wars project and thereby disappointing millions of GoT fans; I hope they are aware of the expectations they have loaded upon them. George Lucas’ original trilogy had its faults, but but though there was no social media yet in his time, at least he was still close enough to the audience to give them what they needed, if not necessarily wanted. (Some fans can’t accept that Luke and Leia are siblings to this day, even if honestly, it was the very best plot twist to finish their story in a satisfying way.)

I’m hoping for now that The Last Jedi was not some love bombing directed at the more sentimental viewers but a promise that will be fulfilled. “Wrapping up” a saga by keeping the flattest, least convincing chapter for last is bad form. Star Wars did not become a pop phenomenon by accident, but because the original story was convincing and satisfying. Endings like these will hardly make anyone remember a story fondly, on the contrary, the audience will move to another fandom to forget their disappointment.

On a side note, I like The Mandalorian, exactly for the reason that that is a magical story; not as much as the original trilogy, but at least a little. Of course, I’m glad it was produced. But it’s a small consolation prize after the mess that supposedly wrapped up the original saga after 9 films.

We’re Not Blind, You Know…

- Though Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) has Darth Vader’s stature, his facial features are practically opposite to Vader’s creepy mask. This should have foreshadowed that his life should have gone the other way, instead of more or less repeating itself. - As a villain Kylo was often unconvincing; by all logic he should have been a good father figure. (Besides, Star Wars films or series never work unless there is a strong father or father figure at their center.)

- Like Vader, Kylo Ren was redeemed, but not rehabilitated. Who knows who may find his broken mask somewhere now and, not knowing the truth, promise “I will finish what you started”. - The hand-touching scene on Ahch-To which was visually opposite to Anakin’s and Padmé’s should not have predicted another tragedy but a happy ending for them. - The Canto Bight sequence was announcing reckoning for the weapon industry and freedom for the enslaved children. It also showed how well Finn and Rose fit together. - Rey was a good girl before she started on her adventures. Like Anakin or Luke, she did not need to become a Jedi to be strong or generous or heroic. - Rey summons Palpatine after one year of training. Kylo practically begged for his grandfather’s assistance for years, to no avail. Her potential for darkness is obviously much stronger. - Dark Rey’s light sabre looked like a fork, Kylo’s like a cross. - The last time all Jedi and Sith were obliterated leaving only Luke in charge, things went awry. Now we have a Palpatine masquerading as a Skywalker and believing she’s a Jedi. Rey is a usurper and universally cheered after years of war, like her grandfather. - The broom boy of Canto Bight looked like he was sweeping a stage and announcing “Free the stage, it’s time for us, the children.”

Rey failed in all instances where Luke had proved himself (so much for feminism and her being a Mary Sue): - Luke had forgiven his father despite all the pain he had inflicted on him. She stabbed the „bad guy”, who had repeatedly protected and comforted her, to death. - Luke never asked Vader to help the Rebellion or to turn to the Light Side, he only wanted him back as his father. She assumed that you could make Ben Solo turn, give up the First Order and join the Resistance for her. She thought of her friends and of her own validation, not of him. - Luke had made peace by choosing peace. Rey fought until the bitter end. - Luke had thrown his weapon away before Palpatine. Rey picked up a second weapon. (And both of them weren’t even her own.) - Luke had mourned his dead father. Rey didn’t shed a tear for the man she is bonded to by the Force. - Luke went back to his friends to celebrate the new peace with them. Rey went back letting everyone celebrate her like the one who saved the galaxy on her own, she who were tempted to become the new evil ruler of the galaxy and had to rely on the alleged Bad Guy to save both her soul and her body. - Luke had embodied compassion when Palpatine was all about hatred. Where he chose love and faith in his father, she chose violence and fear. - Luke had briefly fallen prey to the Dark Side but it made him realize that he had no right to judge his father. Rey’s fall to the Dark Side did not make her wiser. - Rey has no change of mind on finding out that she’s Palpatine’s flesh and blood, nor after she has stabbed Kylo. Luke had to face himself on learning that he had almost become a patricide. Rey does not have to face herself: the revelation of her ancestry is cushioned by Luke’s and Leia’s support. Rey is and remains an uncompromising person who hardly learns from her faults.

This is cheating on the audience. And it's not due to feminism or Rey being some sort of “Mary Sue” the way many affronted fans claim. Kylo never was truly a villain, Rey is not a heroine, and this is not a happy ending. The Jedi, with their stuck-up conviction “only we must win”, have failed all over again. The Skywalker family was obliterated leaving their worst enemy in charge.  Rey is supposed to be a “modern” heroine which young girls can take as an example? No, thank you. Not after this last film has made of her. Padmé was a much better role model, combining intelligence with strength and goodness and also female grace. The world does not need entitled female brats.

Bonus: What Made The Rise of Skywalker a Farce

- The Force Awakens was an ok film and The Last Jedi (almost) a masterpiece. The Rise of Skywalker was a cartoon. No wonder a lot of the acting felt and looked wooden. - “I will earn your brother’s light sabre.” She’s holding his father’s sabre. - Kylo in The Last Jedi: “Let the past die. Kill it if, you have to.” Beginning with me? - Rey ends up on Tatooine. - The planet both Anakin and Luke ardently wanted to leave. - Luke had promised his nephew that he would be around for him. - Nope. - Rey had told Ben that she had seen his future. What future was that - “you will be a hero for ten minutes, get a kiss and then die? (And they didn’t even get a love theme.) - “The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” On a desert planet with a few ghosts. What of the ocean she used to dream about? - Ben and Rey were both introduced as two intensely lonely people searching for belonging. We learn they are a Force dyad, and then they are torn apart again. - Why was Ben named for Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first place, if they have absolutely nothing in common? - The Throne Room battle scene in The Last Jedi was clearly showing that when they are in balance, Light Side and Dark Side are unbeatable. Why did the so-called “Light Side” have to win again, in The Rise of Skywalker, instead of finding balance? - Luke’s scene on Ahch-To was so ridiculously opposite to his attitude in The Last Jedi that by now I believe he was a fantasy conjectured by her. (Like Ben’s vision of his father.) - Anakin’s voice among the other Jedi’s. - He was a renegade, for Force’s sake. - The kiss between two females. - More fan service, to appease those who pretended that not making Poe and Finn a couple was a sign of homophobia. - We see the Knights of Ren, but we learn absolutely nothing about them or Kylo’s connection with them. - Rose Tico’s invalidation. - A shame after what the actress had gone through because for the fans she was “not Star-Wars-y” (chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire). - Finn’s and Rose’s relationship. - Ignored without any explanation. - Finn may or may not be Force-sensitive. - If he is: did he abandon the First Order not due to his own free will but because of some higher willpower? Great. - General Hux was simply obliterated. - In The Force Awakens he was an excellent foil to Kylo Ren; no background story, no humanization for him. - Chewie’s and 3PO’s faked deaths. - Useless additional drama. - The Force Awakens was a bow before the classic trilogy. The Rise of Skywalker kicked its remainders to pieces. - The Prequel Trilogy ended with hope, the Original Trilogy with love. The Sequel Trilogy ends on a blank slate. - “We are what they grow beyond.” The characters of the Sequel Trilogy did not grow beyond the heroes of the Original Trilogy. - The Jedi did not learn from their mistakes and were obliterated. The Skywalker family understood the mistakes they had made too late. Now they’re gone, too.

  P.S. While I was watching The Rise of Skywalker my husband came in asked me since when I like Marvel movies. I said “That’s not a Marvel movie, it’s Star Wars.” I guess that says enough.

P.P.S. For the next trilogy, please at least let the movies hit theatres in May again instead of December. a) It’s tradition for Star Wars films, b) Whatever happens, at least you won’t ruin anyone’s Christmases. Thank you.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[animatedminds]

Splash Mountain, Br’er Rabbit, and the Tragedy of Being Represented By Other People.

So, this is probably going to be the realest post I’ll make for a while - or at least until The Boondocks arrives, but it seemed apropos. Immediately after this I’ve got rants about sci fi and Star Wars and other unrelated things coming up, but for now we have my earnest opinions on a decision I feel should have been better thought out than it was. This is going to read more like an article or an essay than a review, but I think it needs to be said.

It hasn’t come up too often on this blog, but I am African American. It’s my life and my perspective. And as an African American, a lover of animation and - though this definitely doesn’t come up on the blog - a passionate folklorist in what you could call an academic sense (in that I’m a writer and a student, and folklore is the subject of most of my research), people I know in real life have asked me more than once what my opinion on the removal of Splash Mountain in favor of Princess and the Frog, how I must be glad it’s finally being removed, what my take on the history there was, and…

Well…

To really give that opinion, I’ve got to start at the beginning. Not Song of the South - that, if anything, is the very middle. We have to start with Br’er Rabbit and who that character was. Sit back students, info dump incoming.

Br’er Rabbit is an folklore character of African American origin with - like many folkloric figures - a difficult to place date of origin, but he was known to have existed at least since the early 19th Century, He has obvious similarities to the far older figure of Anansi - with several Br’er Rabbit tales even taking elements of Anansi stories verbatim - though with a the notable difference that unlike Anansi, Br’er Rabbit was more often a heroic figure: an underdog and seemingly downtrodden figure who used his wits and his enemies’ hubris rather than physical force to win the day. The meaning of that kind of figure to an enslaved people is obvious, especially when you compare Br’er Rabbit to another, contemporary trickster figure in African American history by the name of John. Br’er Rabbit’s stories could even arguably be seen as a more child-friendly version of the John tales, in which a human trickster pulls the same kind of momentum turning ploys on villains - but those villains tended to be explicitly slave masters or overseers, and John’s payback often came with explicitly deadly results. The existence of John as escapism for the enslaved or just-post-enslaved (IE Reconstruction) populations is clear: a person who with no power who could fight back with nothing but their mind, preying on the fact that their enemies see them as incapable and helpless, and the connection of Br’er Rabbit to that message is difficult to deny. If anything, Br’er Rabbit comes off as a somewhat more child-friendly version of the concept.

But the most important thing to glean from this is who and what Br’er Rabbit is: a product of the African American community and its history, as a means of those people to express themselves and their values in the face of oppression.

Now we fast forward to 1881, and along comes Joel Chandler Harris: a white Georgian. Harris was a folklorist himself, and travelled the country collecting stories - most famously Br’er Rabbit stories. His stated reason was to bridge African American and white communities by sharing stories, but he was tainted by the perspectives of his world and his place in it, infamously creating a framing narrative for those stories in which the character telling them exuded the imagery of subservience and simplicity that was typical of perceptions of African Americans from the post-Civil War Southern environment in which he collected them: Uncle Remus, in other words. Harris is hardly the only white curator who adapted stories of black or brown peoples in a way that played up the people the stories came from as something of a theme park piece, as if noble in unintelligence and simplicity, but he’s one of the most famous ones to do so - and that’s because of the adaptation. To note, when people criticize cultural appropriation, this is the kind of thing that really triggers the outrage. Not any situation in which a white person is inspired by someone who isn’t white and creates something accordingly, but situations where someone else’s creation is taken and used for the fame and profit of others, to the detriment of the people who made it. It’s these situations like the one Joel Chandler Harris created centuries ago, specifically, that people are trying to draw attention to - even if sometimes social media gets a bit trigger happy sometimes, that’s the real, underlying problem. With that in mind, let’s put that aside and move forward.

Fast forward again to 1946. Walt Disney Productions, then less the company of grander, wider scale stories of epic quests and emotional upheaval that make us all cry and more a company more known for folktale adaptations in general, were looking for a but of American folklore to headline a live action, animation mix - a medium that allowed a bit more financial benefit, as straightforward animation was not always particularly profitable those dates. This wouldn’t be the last time they produced an adaptation of an American folktale or short story - their version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow a few years later being actually one of the more faithful adaptations of that short story put to film. Disney, who evidently read Chandler Harris’ stories, put together a project to see if they could adapted. Which they did. Pretty much verbatim. This is actually worth pointing out: the actual Br’er Rabbit stories in the films are very accurately adapted, and the actors involved in the story (including James Baskett, how also played Uncle Remus) did a fine job characterizing them. The issue is that Disney also adapted Chandler Harris’ stereotypical and offensive framing device pretty much verbatim, bringing Uncle Remus. And therein lies the problem.

To put the issue with Song of the South in perspective, the movie - with the framing device - can be categorized as something called Reconstruction Revisionism - which is basically a genre of post-Civil War media meant to present the pre-war South was perfect and idyllic, and that people are racially more natural in that environment’s dynamic and never should have left. One of the most infamous movies in history, Birth of a Nation, is the crowning example of this genre. Obviously, Song of the South is nowhere near as awful and inflammatory a movie as that, but there’s a degree to which it was seen as the straw the broke the camel’s back for black depictions in media, only a couple of years after Disney’s Dumbo also did the same. The end result, an African American creation was used in a film that ultimately demeaned the African American community, a decision that Disney has been ashamed of ever since.

Fast forward to now. Disney is removing Splash Mountain, the sole remnant of Song of the South that focuses exclusively on Br’er Rabbit - a choice we’ve had reason to suspect was coming for about a year now, but which was unveiled conspicuously in the middle of protests and campaigning for better treatment of people of African descent worldwide. The reveal was a rousing success, with people applauding the decision to finally wipe away the rest of that movie - though remember that for later, that the response relies on the perception of Br’er Rabbit as something that starts with Song of the South - and replace it with something else. Surely, as a black person I should be happy that they’re finally getting rid of that racist character for good and replacing him with something more positive? And again, well…

To put short, Br’er Rabbit has finished his journey from African cultural symbol to discarded pariah, all because others used the character in racist ways that they themselves now regret. And for that… let’s be clear, I’m not angry so much as saddened. I’m not railing against the company for making the choice, since I can see how from their point of view it was the wisest and most progressive thing to do. Song of the South is a badly old fashioned movie that they’re right to want to move on from, and it’s their right to downplay characters within their purview if those characters reflect badly on the company. I’m just outlining the tragic waste of it all.

For now, compare Princess and the Frog - the thing they’re replacing it with. I do love the movie, or at least any problems I have with it have little to do with representation, and I definitely don’t have anything against Musker and Clements and their beautiful visions and creations, but it’s difficult to deny that its an adaptation of a European story, adapted by a collection of mostly white creators (with Rob Edwards comprising but one third of the screenwriting team, but not of story conception), that’s ultimately just dolled up with African Americans characters and a very Hollywood-esque depiction of a African diaspora religion (Voodoo, which unfortunately has a long history of such portrayals). If we’re talking about representation specifically - which this move had definitely been presented as a champion for - it’s not the perfect example, more of a story with a surface covering of the black experience than one with an especially strong connection. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem (Tiana and her story do well depict strong black characterizations, and approach an interesting (if light_ implication about racism and hardship during the 1920s) if Disney had yet created any other franchise that was another actual adaptation of an African or African American tale or story (with involvement from such actual people), but Song of the South is actually it. They legitimately have nothing else to call on.

This is something I feel we should do more to remedy. I am a writer/prospective screenwriter myself, and trying to put more stories out there is one of my primary focuses and goals should I ever truly enter the industry, but at the moment we just don’t have very many options.

This is hardly the only time that people of color have had little control over depictions of their own culture - literary and film history is full of such situations in both minor and terribly major ways - but it’s something that stings especially hard due to being such a current example, and because of sheer irony of the end result. Now we have a situation where African Americans are being told that something their people created to represent themselves is negative and wrong, because years ago other people appropriated that creation and used it to paint a negative picture of the people who actually held claim over it, and now the enterprise that those people created wants to save face: another example of culture being treated like a possession of the ones who are poised to make money of off it. And what’s worse, while the culture is used and abused like trash, the people are now presented with this removal like it was a prize - like they’re finally being given something - when little has really changed.

Ultimately, the Splash Mountain news - though it had been coming for a while - made me rather upset for that reason. As a studier of folklore, I suppose I knew better than most where these things came from, and so the buzz around the move being a belief that Br’er Rabbit was an intrinsically racist character just highlighted the tragedy of how African Americans and their culture tended to be tossed about by American media. So no matter what, I can’t feel particularly happy about it.

Let me iterate, in the film industry, being represented by people who aren’t of your culture group is basically inevitable. That’s essentially how the industry works. I’m not saying we should rail against anyone who would try to represent cultures that aren’t their own. The people who produce and create are few, and eventually the truth is that you have to be represented by other people - at least for the moment. We shouldn’t be railing against representation by others in general, as that wouldn’t be cognizant of the situation and thus self destructive. What I’m saying is that we - both we trying to be represented, and those doing the representing - should be aware of the problem there: that when others choose to represent you in media, you essentially have to trust them to have a real interest in you and your best interests when doing so, and when they don’t that depiction is there forever. So it behooves us to try to be the ones who are representing ourselves as much as possible, and in situations where we can’t, to remind those who want to represent us that they have a responsibility to do so effectively.

This is Animated Minds for Animated Times, and really this blog is ultimately about emphasizing what makes animated media work, what makes it fun, and what makes it worthwhile no matter how old you are. And so in several years of sporadic and infrequent reviews, reactions and fandom posts it’s been rare for me to get this real about a topic, but this is something that is a serious issue feel was overlooked. Representation is complicated. And more often than not solutions that are handed to us are more band-aids that look like cures than necessarily being actually helpful, and that’s what happens when ultimately the decisions about how you’re represented lie in the hands of other people. Representation is one of the biggest things we need to work on in coming years, especially with stories and adaptations - which refer to history and culture that are often not widely known or accepted. Ask someone if they think there should be an African princess, and they’ll tell you they didn’t even have kings and queens in Africa - something that’s bluntly wrong, but is widely believed simply because those elements of culture are never represented.

And that’s the sum of my thoughts on the subject. I hadn’t updated the blog in months because this whole thing was stewing in me, and I couldn’t really go back to cheerful posts about new things until I got it out. I’ve got great thoughts about the Owl House, Amphibia, the new seasons of BH6 and Ducktales that are totally coming up soon. But for now, just a few sobering thoughts from someone who grew up loving cartoons, and desperately wishes people like me had more to look at in that field beyond apologies and promises.