#Muriel is an old man

[rattoenailclippings]

MC hanging out with muriel

[tetsuooooooooooo]

so like does Anybody know actually how old Muriel was when they sent him away cause of course im not gonna like the answer if it doesnt align with what i think already jgsfjtdg but like its gnawing at me im trying so hard to figure it out from just the writing and not looking for like bonus stuff n q&a n shit

like i keep wondering about his whole damn deal like a guy? brought him to vesuvia? and then what?? stayed with him for a bit then ditch him? if he was baby sized like i think like at most 3 ok thats not baby sized but fuckn you know did he like keep him until he could fend for himself in theory? did he sell him???? did mu run away for any reason??

liKE FUCKINGG Read this. read this again

like hes self aware? conscious? somewhat? entirely? how much should i take literally and how much as storytelling n exposition?

i dont have screens but in the uhh mural embroidery thing in his old house they did describe it like. lil packed up baby thing right? i am losing iq points vusibly as i am riting this i need the sleep but like it Sounded Baby Sized To ME🤨🤨🤨😤😤😤😤 like i imagined hed be sitting on it if he were bigger and able to like any other way but hes burritoed cause hes baBY lmao i dont know anymore hear me void

[dylanrosales25]

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

muriel:

[laurashapiro-noreally]

So on my last rewatch I noticed how Aziraphale is gently amused (though never condescending) to Muriel and their "I'm a human police officer" routine.

But then, in the very same episode, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, our sweet angel dons his very best 1949 journalist cosplay and announces "I'm what's known as a newspaper man!"

He is just as excited, and almost as naive, as Muriel here -- down to not reading the big THE RESURRECTIONIST sign on the wall of the pub. "Gimme the facts!" He quips giddily. Might as well be saying "Wot's all this then?"

He's been here six thousand years but he is still an Eldritch being in a human suit and a giant goofball with no interest in keeping up with the times and it is fascinating and lovable that he can recognize Muriel's ridiculousness and not see his own.

How very like all of us.

[ Image Description: Two GIFs, the first of Muriel in a solid white old-fashioned British police officer uniform gleefully saying, "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. What's all this then?" at Aziraphale's door. The other of Aziraphale dressed as a stereotypical old-fashioned journalist excitedly asking, "Is this the Resurrectionist public house?" End ID. ]

(update to add image captions)

[halemerry]

So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.

Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.

Let's go in order.

First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.

He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.

The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.

He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure

He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.

The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.

Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.

The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).

And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."

The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.

When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.

And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.

It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.

[theysherobinbuckley]

a little something I started but probably won't ever finish - alternate first meeting steddie! post s3, pre s4

(context: in an effort to cheer up his perpetually grumpy new neighbor, Eddie broke out his old skateboard and immediately ate shit for it. Cue Red calling none other than Steve Harrington to solve the problem...)

Red was barely in the door when Harringron turned on him, jaw clenched and fingers twitching. Having those dark eyes focused so entirely on him nearly made Eddie dizzy.

His lips were moving and- oh shit. Eddie was totally supposed to be listening.

"Uh, what?"

"What are you doing hanging around Max?"

Eddie frowned. "We're neighbors?"

"So?"

"So I'm being… neighborly? Is that illegal?"

"Neighborly is getting someone's mail while they're out of town. Not a super senior hanging around with a girl who's not even in high school yet."

"You better be fucking careful what you're accusing me of, Harrington, because to be honest, you don't look any better. Don't think I haven't heard your beemer pull up at all hours of the night. What the fuck is that about, huh? King Steve likes 'em young?"

Eddie's back hit the trailer before the last word even left his mouth. All the breath rushed out of him at once as Harrington pinned him with one arm across his shoulders.

"Don’t fucking say that," he seethed. "She's like my sister. I'm not- I wouldn't hurt her."

Eddie reached up to pat Harrington's arm placatingly, sending him as sweet a smile as he could muster.

"Hey, I believe you, man. I'm a little lost, sure, but I believe you." He sent a look to the trailer to his right. "Now can you let me down before Muriel sends Axel out to break your arm?"

Harrington followed his gaze and, upon seeing Muriel frowning from behind her curtains, dropped Eddie faster than if he'd told him he had the plague.

"We're in my kingdom now, Harrington," he said, grinning and waving in Muriel's direction. "These are my people. We take care of each other here. And Red's one of us, whether you like it or not."

Steve frowned, opened his mouth to respond, maybe even protest, but Eddie cut him off.

"I was just trying to make the kid smile, okay? So I got out my old skateboard, did a few tricks, busted my shit." He held up the ice pack he'd stolen from Red's fridge. "She called you 'cause she said you'd know what to do."

Harrington was quiet. Noticeably, he did not apologize for jostling Eddie's extremely sore wrist, but whatever.

"Did she?"

"Yeah, man, I tried to talk her out of it, but she seemed pretty confident you'd pick up. And here you are, so…"

"No, I mean- did she have fun?"

Eddie shrugged. "I mean, she didn't look as miserable as usual. Laughed a couple times when I fucked up a dismount. What's up with that, by the way? The constant dispair?"

Harrington's whole body tensed, and Eddie was almost scared he was gearing up to punch him just for asking.

"You remember Billy Hargrove?" he replied, his voice tight.

Eddie couldn't help but sneer at the mention of that piece of shit. Wayne had always taught him not to speak ill of the dead, but that didn't mean he couldn't think some choice things about him. Like the fact that he was pretty sure the guy was rotting in hell for all the things he'd said to Jeff in the school halls.

"Unfortunately. What about him?"

"He was Max's older brother. Step-brother."

"That's..."

"Fucked?" Harrington supplied. Eddie nodded. "Yeah. So I just- I need to make sure another Hargrove doesn't come around. Sorry I got all... you know. I've been told I can be kind of intense."

"No shit," Eddie laughed. "No hard feelings, I guess. Since it's in Red's best interest."

"No hard feelings," Harrington echoed. "Thanks for looking out for her."

Then, something Eddie had never even dreamed of: Harrington stuck his hand out, clearly expecting a handshake.

Huh.

It was over in a second, but Eddie's hand burned where Steve's had been.

"No problem. I'm kind of the park babysitter," Eddie replied. "Part of the job description."

Harrington lit up at that.

"I babysit too! Max and a few of her friends. 'S why I'm always around. I'm usually playing chauffeur for one of the other gremlins."

"That makes more sense than you having a torrid love affair with Susan."

"Yeah, she's not really my type," Harrington said with a smirk.

Eddie watched in shock as Harrington's eyes slowly, deliberately dipped up and down his form.

Talk about fucking whiplash. Eddie could still feel Harrington's strong arm against his chest, the brush of Harrington's nose against his own, the heat of Harrington's breath on his face. And now the king was checking him out?

"I see. Not into MILFs?"

Eddie was in the middle of making plans to staple his big stupid mouth shut when Harrington laughed.

"I'm more into brunettes."

And boy, didn't that seem pointed.

[santacoppelia]

Putting the Meta in "Metatron"

(couldn't resist the pun, sorry)

Ok, this has been tickling my brain for a while. I've been thinking about how The Metatron designed his role and discourse specifically to manipulate Aziraphale into the end result we saw in the last minutes of S2. I become obsessed with it because… well, I'm a bit obsessive, but also because there were many really smart writing decisions that I loved (even when I despise The Metatron exactly for the same reasons. Hate the character, love the writer). If you haven't watched Good Omens Season 2, this is the moment to stop reading. Come back later!

We already know that in Book Omens, the role of Gabriel in the ending was occupied by The Metatron. Of course, the series introduced us to Gabriel and we won a lot by that, but I feel that the origins of The Metatron should be considered for any of this. He is not a "sweet old man": he was the one in charge of seeing over the operation of Armageddon; not just a stickler of rules, but the main promoter for it.

However, when he appears in the series finale, we first are primed to almost pass him by. He is in the line for buying coffee, using clothes that are:

obviously not tailored (almost ill fitted)

in dark tones

looking worn and wrinkled

This seems so important to me! All the angels we have seen are so proud of their aspect, wear clear (white or off white) clothes, pressed, impeccable (even Muriel), even when they visit the Earth (which we have already seen on S1 with all the visits to the bookshop). The Metatron chose a worn, comfortable attire, instead. This is a humanized look, something that fools all the angels but which would warm up someone very specific, can you guess?

After making quite a complicated coffee order (with sort of an affable and nervous energy), he makes a question that Crowley had already primed for us when asking Nina about the name of the coffee: having a "predictable" alternative and an unpredictable one.

This creates an interesting parallel with the next scene: Michael is discussing the possibility of erasing Aziraphale from The Book of Life (a punishment even worse than Holy Water on demons, because not having existed at all, EVER is definitely worse than having existed and ceased to exist at some point) when The Metatron arrives, interrupts the moment and signals having brought coffee. Yup, an amicable gesture, but also a "not death" offering that he shows clearly to everyone (even when Michael or Uriel do not understand or care for it. It wasn't meant for them). He even dismisses what Michael was saying as "utter balderdash" and a "complete piffle", which are the kind of outdated terms we have heard Aziraphale use commonly. So, The Metatron has put up this show for a specific audience of one.

The next moment on the script has Metatron asking Crowley for the clarification of his identity. Up to this moment, every angel has been ignoring the sprawled demon in the corner while discussing how to punish Aziraphale… But The Metatron defers to the most unlikely person in the room, and the only one who will push any buttons on Aziraphale: Crowley. After that, Aziraphale can recognize him, and Metatron dismisses the "bad angels" (using Aziraphale's S1 epithet) with another "catchy old phrase", "spit spot", while keeping Muriel at the back and implying that there is a possibility to "check after" if those "bad angels" have done anything wrong.

Up to this moment, he has played it perfectly. The only moment when he loses it is when he calls Muriel "the dim one", which she ignores… probably because that's the usual way they get talked to in Heaven. I'm not sure if Aziraphale or Crowley cared for that small interaction, but it is there for us (the audience) to notice it: the sympathy the character might elicit is built and sought, but he is not that nice.

After that, comes "the chinwag" and the offer of the coffee: the unnecessarily complicated order. It is not Aziraphale's cup of tea (literally), but it is so specific that it creates some semblance of being thought with care, and has a "hefty jigger" of syrup (again with the funny old words). And, as Aziraphale recognizes, it is "very nice!" (as The Metatron "jolly hoped so"), and The Metatron approves of him drinking it by admitting he has "ingested things in my time, you know?". This interaction is absolutely designed to build a bridge of understanding. The Metatron probably knew that the first response he would get was a "no", so he tailored his connection specifically to "mirror" Aziraphale: love of tasty human treats he has also consumed, funny old words like the ones he loves, a very human, worn, well-loved look. That was the bait for "the stroll": the moment when Aziraphale and Crowley get separated, because The Metatron knew that being close to Crowley, Aziraphale would have an hypervigilant soundboard to check the sense of what he was going to get offered. That's what the nasty look The Metatron gives to Crowley while leaving the bookshop builds (and it gets pinpointed by the music, if you were about to miss it).

The next thing we listen from The Metatron is "You don't have to answer immediately, take all the time you need" in such a friendly manner… we can see Aziraphale doubting a little, and then comes the suggestion: "go and tell your friend the good news!". This sounds like encouragement, but is "the reel". He already knows how Crowley would react, and is expecting it (we can infer it by his final reaction after going back for Aziraphale after the break up, but let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we?). He even can work up Muriel to take care of the bookshop while waiting for the catch.

What did he planted in Aziraphale's mind? Well, let's listen to the story he has to tell:

"I don't think he's as bad a fellow… I might have misjudged him!" — not strange in Aziraphale to have such a generous spirit while judging people. He's in a… partnership? relationship? somethingship? with a demon! So maybe first impressions aren't that reliable anyway. The Metatron made an excellent job with this, too.

"Michael was not the obvious candidate, it was me!" — This idea is interesting. Michael has been the stickler, the rule follower, even the snitch. They have been rewarded and recognized by that. Putting Aziraphale before Michael in the line of succession is a way of recognizing not only him, but his system of values, which has always been at odds with the main archangels (even when it was never an open fight).

"Leader, honest, don't tell people what they want to hear" — All these are generic compliments. The Metatron hasn't been that aware of Aziraphale, but are in line with what would have been said of any "rebel leader". They come into context with the next phrase.

"That's why Gabriel came to you, I imagine…" — I'm pretty sure The Metatron didn't imagine this, ha. He is probably imagining that the "institutional problem" is coalescing behind his back, and trying to keep friends close, but enemies closer… while dividing and conquering. If Gabriel rebelled, and then went searching for Aziraphale (and Crowley, they are and item and he knows it), that might mean a true risk for his status quo and future plans.

Heaven has great plans and important projects for you — this is to sweeten the pot: the hefty jigger of almond syrup. You will be able to make changes! You can make a difference from the inside! Working for an old man who feels strangely familiar! And who recognizes your point of view! That sounds like the best job offer of the world, really.

Those, however, are not the main messages (they are still building good will with Aziraphale); they are thought out to build the last, and more important one:

Heaven is well aware of your "de facto partnership" with Crowley…

It would be considered irregular if you wanted to work with him again…

You, and you alone, can bring him to Heaven and restore his full angelic status, so you could keep working together (in very important projects).

Here is the catch. He brought the coffee so he could "offer him coffee", but the implications are quite clear: if you want to continue having a partnership with Crowley, you two must come to Heaven. Anything else would be considered irregular, put them in a worst risk, and maybe, just maybe, make them "institutional enemies". Heaven is more efficient chasing enemies, and they have The Book of Life as a menace.

We already know how scared Aziraphale has always been about upsetting Heaven, but he has learned to "disconnect" from it through the usual "they don't notice". The Metatron came to tell him "I did notice, and it has come back to bite you". The implied counterpart to the offer is "you can always get death". Or even worse, nonexistence (we have already imagined the angst of having one of them condemned to that fate, haven't we?)

When The Metatron arrives, just after seeing Crowley leave the bookshop, distraught, he casually asks "How did he take it?", but he already knows. That was his plan all along: making them break up with an offer Aziraphale could not refuse, but Crowley could not accept. That's why he even takes the license to slightly badmouth Crowley: "Always did want to go his own way, always asking damn fool questions, too". He also arrive with the solution to the only objection Aziraphale would have: Muriel, the happy innocent angel that he received with so much warmth and kindness, is given the opportunity to stay on Earth, taking care of the bookshop. The only thing he would have liked to take with him is not a thing, and has become impossible.

If God is playing poker in a dark room and always smiling, The Metatron is playing chess, and he is quite good at it (that's why he loves everything to be predictable). He is menacing our pieces, and broke our hearts in the process… But I'm pretty sure he is underestimating his opponents. His awful remark of Muriel being "dim"; saying that Crowley "asks damn fool questions", and even believing that Aziraphale is just a softie that can be played like a pipe… That's why telling him the project is "The Second Coming" was an absolute gift for us as an audience, and it prefigures the downfall that is coming — the one Aziraphale, now with nothing to lose, started cooking in his head during that elevator ride (those couple of minutes that Michael Sheen gifted to all of us: the shock, the pain, the fury, and that grin in the end, with the eyes in a completely different emotion). Remember that Aziraphale is intelligent, but also fierce. Guildernstern commited a similar mistake in Hamlet, and it didn't go well:

"Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me, you would seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass, and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me."

I'm so excited to learn how this is going to unfold!! Because our heroes have always been very enthusiastic at creating plans together, failed miserably at executing them, and even then succeeding… But now they are apart, more frustrated and the stakes are even higher. Excellent scenario for a third act!

*exits, pursued by a bear*

[vesuvianhermitcrabs]

The Arcana Characters As Old People:

(It's only Portia Muriel and Lucio..)

Portia:

SWEETEST OLD LADY IN EXISTENCE

Her handbag is absolutely enormous. Why? Because it's full of secrets, MC! Okay in all seriousness it's actually full of lollies and stolen napkins and spare change and yarn balls and her calendar with all her grandbabies' birthdays on it and probably a couple jars of soup

There are grandkids. So, so many grandkids. It doesn't matter what barriers there are, there are grandkids. Portia will find a way. Even if you have to pick some up off the street

Muriel:

This man's back problems are unfathomable

You would think he'd have become grumpier in his old age, but getting old morphed him into an even bigger softie than before. Goes to the docks often to give the kids there candy and sweaters he's made for them (he crochets a LOT now)

The children living at the docks adore him. Whenever you go with him to visit you see him dishing out hugs and pats on the head and it probably sends you into cardiac arrest (again) (rip MC)

He built two wooden lawn chairs so you and him could sit in front of the hut and sip tea and do other old people things

Even more of an animal whisperer in his old age, birds land on his shoulders, young deer curl up on his lap, and you've seen bears politely sit next to him when he's fallen over in the woods and can't get up

You think it's because he's spent his whole life caring for the woods and now it's caring for him back

The two of you visit Khamgalai a lot more nowadays, just to catch up (and you can relate to her more now, you oldies)

He has a wooden walking stick which sits next to the door

Lucio:

Every five minutes he remembers aging is real and looks at you with the most shocked look before going "I'M OLD." in the most despaired voice

Owns 576 skincare products (they don't work, he's literally like 80)

He's still kind of entitled but he's less of an ass nowadays. I mean, don't get me wrong, he hasn't changed much, but he's certainly a lot wiser than he once was

You're not sure what his father looked like. However, now that he's older you can see that he really takes after his mother Morga. I mean, he always had, but especially now. This revelation makes you all the more attracted to him (which you aren't quite sure how to feel about)

Tells complete strangers not to end up like him if they even remotely resemble him when he was younger

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Lost 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers

Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“And this is your room,” Muriel stops before a door along the short hallway. “You have a neighbour just across the hall, and two more on the other side of the kitchen.”

You nod. It isn’t an ideal situation. Not one you ever saw yourself in. But survival isn’t built for the fussy. There are many others like you. Those not so lucky, those who are dead. Many who never got the choice of a new home.

You keep your hand on your rolling bag, your other on your canvas knapsack. They’re full of items that aren’t your own. Second-hand clothes acquired from shelters and toiletries given out by the support workers. You’re on your own now.

“Anything else, dear?” Muriel asks to your silence.

“Thank you, Muriel,” you murmur.

She hands you the key and leaves. Before showing you your own space, she took you around those shared by the rest of her boarders. You suppose they’re your roommates now. A kitchen, two bathrooms, a front room with a tattered couch and old tube television. You’ll stick to your own four walls.

You slide the key in the slot, the metal grinding loudly. You hear a throat clear and peer towards the noise. The walls must be thin. You’re still alone. You let yourself into the room, pulling the door shut behind you. You flip the lock back into place before you shove your bags by the wall.

There’s a twin bed with a metal frame, a single night table, and a standing lamp. There’s also a shallow closet. It’s not much but you don’t need more than that. It’s good to have a roof over your head.

You sit on the lumpy mattress and the frame squeaks loudly. You stand up again and pace around. There isn’t too much room. It shouldn’t matter, you won’t need it. You’ll be out working and back to sleep again. You start tomorrow at the convenience shop.

You hear a thump and your head pops up. You can’t help but jump in your shoes. Ever since the city rained down around you, every bump, every sudden noise has you skittish. It’s nothing, only another boarder.

You go to your bag and unbuckle the flap. You pull out a can of beans and the pocket knife in the side pocket. You go back to the bed and sit, another shrill whine from the metal frame. You pull out the can open from the pocket knife and peel back the lid. On the same keychain is a small metal spork you use to scoop out the beans, eating them cold as your stomach growls hungrily.

You eat, bite by bite, staring at the wall, just beside the only window. It isn’t home. You don’t expect one of those. It’s just a place to live. To survive.

🚪

You take your toothbrush and your tube of toothpaste with you to the bathroom down the hall. It’s just across from the other bedroom on that side of the flat. The doorway is dark, beckoning you inside. You flip on the light and shut the door as you enter.

You turn on the tap and set to brushing your teeth. Such a basic and simple task but one you didn’t always have the chance to do. It’s almost soothing to feel the bristles in your mouth. It makes you feel almost normal.

You take your time as the mint flavour sticks to your tongue. You rinse your brush and flick off the excess water, sliding it back into the travel tube and capping the paste. You look at yourself in the mirror, not for long, just to make sure you still recognise you.

You clutch your things in one hand and flick the light off. You open the door and nearly shriek at the shadow waiting in the hall. You waver in the doorway as a tiny wisp escapes your throat. You blink as the dark silhouette stands with arms crossed in the dim hall.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” the man says gruffly.

He's tall but mostly obscured. His hair wings out around his neck and his shoulders bulge broadly. You feel his eyes boring into you, as he can see through the darkness and you.

You dip your chin and sidle out, keeping your distance as you sidestep along the wall. You should apologise but your voice is buried deep down. You put your hand up in a show of deference.

“You done?” He asks.

You pause and look at the plaster across from you. You nod then turn your back to him completely. He must be the neighbour. You quickly shuffle to your room and hide behind the door. It’s much better than the shelter, you don’t have someone rolling into your sleeping bag, but still, you’re claustrophobic.

You mourn that most. The sense of privacy. Of personal space. Have a place that’s your own with people you know. People you love.

You toss your toothbrush and toothpaste onto the night table and huff as you sit on the bed. You frown and push your head back, trying to soothe the tightness between your shoulders. You blow out, breath rattling as your nose tingles.

You can never go back to Sokovia or how it was. You can only go forward and the road ahead is very lonely.

[muriels-brainrot]

Muriel: After The First Date

Post-Route Headcanon 💚 | Just Fluff ��� | °•Drabbles°• | Masterlist (coming soon)

With a kiss and a goodnight, Muriel shuts his front door as the sound of your footsteps shrink into the forest. He is smiling to himself. The beam of your smile is fresh on his mind. So is the lovely fragrance of your clothes. The warmth of your embrace.

The privacy of his home allows him to dream. And maybe giggle and kick his feet a little without worrying about what anyone might think.

Muriel remains standing by the door, a huge smile stuck on his lips

He doesn't celebrate just yet. Instead he retreats to his bed and plops his face into the mattress. The stress of the day melts from his shoulders and seeps into the mattress

That's when it sets in. He did it. He finally did it. He went on a date with you!

He grabs one of his pillows and embraces it tightly, just as he held you in many times today. Then he nuzzles it lovingly, pretending it to be you

He replays your laughs, smiles, and gentle touches in his mind. You were so cute today he might just explode

He pauses. Wait a second, that's strange. The pillow smells like you

Taking another whiff. It turns out your scent is clinging to his shirt and some of it has transferred to his pillow

His smile grows into a giddy grin. Uh oh. He might enjoy this a little too much

A plan forms in his mind. He continues to nuzzle the heck out of this pillow, transferring all your scent into the fabric

Then, he springs from the bed to speed run his evening routine. He gargles, splashes cold water on his face, and slips on a pair of fresh underwear (that's all he wears to bed ;) )

Then, when all is done, he settles into the bed and snuggles up next you (the pillow you)

It's almost like you're actually lying next to him. The tiredness in his bones makes the pillow's softness feel more real. He smiles at himself with a blush. Is it normal to feel this way about another person?

Though he's a very tall man, he is 10 years old again, small and precious, as he seeks comfort in the safety of your imaginary chest

Yes, he feels this way every time he manages to be the rare little spoon when you both cuddle. Though he would never tell you that. The thought of you like this is already has his face burning beet-red. But him being alone allows him to shrug it off

However...

Doubt tickles the back of his mind. He lifts his head to face the door. How sure is he that you won't just suddenly show up? He doesn't think he can survive the thought of you knowing that he feels this way about you.

He lets out an exasperated sigh, worn out by his own worries. He settles back into your chest once more. His worries drown out by your warmth (mostly borrowed from his warmth, from him resting on the pillow this whole time)

He'll figure out the ethics of it in the morning. For now, he gives in to the exhaustion in his bones and falls fast asleep

It's a calm morning when he wakes up. Which is rare for him. There is a pleasant stillness in his chest, as if the air in his lungs were the same as the air outside his body. Not a single nightmare came to him in his sleep. But how could this be?

When he turns in his bed, the warmth of his pillow mixed with your scent brings him back to the warm fuzzy feelings of last night

He blushes as he lets out a raspy, sleepy chuckle at himself. Of course it was you

He sighs with a tiny smile on his lips. Funny, how you somehow always make him feel loved in the way that you do

He rolls over and savors that feeling for a while. It's too early to wake up yet anyway

He nuzzles back into your faint fragrance, letting the warm memory of your affection cradle him back to sleep

He'll go back to being tough and on his guard later. For now, he just wants to feel safe with you for a few more minutes

[cod-dump]

ITS ME IM BACK TO GIVE YOU MORE TEEN GHOST

When Simon and Johnny FINALLY start dating Johnny’s dad invites them over for a bbq

Price and Johnny’s dad (I’ll give this man a name because I don’t want to keep calling him “Johnny’s dad” so I’ll just call him Noah)

So Price and Noah become friends and I mean really great friends but Nikolai doesn’t like this and thinks that Noah is trying to steal his man so he keeps giving death glares and Ava (Johnny’s mother) sees this and is like “absolutely fucking not” and so she confronts Nikolai and she’s like “you got a problem with my husband?” And she does NOT play and Nikolai isn’t going to let himself get disrespected by this 40 year old woman that’s 5’2 so he starts talking back and the it just turns into an argument

And price and Noah are the ones to break it up and Simon, Kyle, and even Farah are all hiding inside and are dying of embarrassment

Later Ava and Nikolai make up and then actually kinda become friends but they still hate each other a little so they’re frenemies

Johnny was also hiding inside with Simon but his sisters were outside cheering their mom on

(P.S at some point during the argument Ava started yelling at Nikolai in Gaelic and so Nikolai also started yelling but in Russian.)

-🫠



My names for Soap’s parents are Isaiah and Muriel but I like those!

___

A MacTavish Party (teen!Ghost au)

(warning: A lot of silliness ahead. I mean, I was really trying to see how silly I could get it. Just really trying)

(Also, random facts at the end to clarify somethings)

---

It was like the MacTavish family leapt into celebration when Simon and Johnny finally started dating.

Simon thought his dad sitting him down and giving him a more adult version of 'The Talk' was embarrassing, but Johnny's family was literally throwing a barbeque to celebrate. Johnny was on speaker phone with Simon and Kyle when his sisters had busted into his room and started singing a made-up song to congratulate Johnny on finally asking out his crush. 'Pussy No More' was the name they gave it.

It was the funniest thing Simon ever had the pleasure of hearing, and hearing Johnny die of embarrassment before hanging up so Simon and Kyle couldn't hear anymore just made it better. Clearly Johnny had the more embarrassing family and that made Simon feel at ease for some reason. Maybe because he didn't have to worry about his family doing something to make him want to bury himself alive.

The entire Price household was invited and Simon was told he could bring anyone else if he wanted. So, of course, Simon called Ale and asked him and Rudy to come along... and asked Alex to come (and totally not so he can watch him and Kyle squirm while in the presence of their father and Nik). Simon knew Johnny asked Hong-Jin and his sisters to have their boyfriends to be there so it wasn't like there weren't plenty going on to distract John from the clear weirdness between Alex and Kyle.

"I fucking hate you," Kyle muttered as they walked across the street to Johnny's house, Alex hanging way back behind everyone as if he was scared if he got too close that John would just know.

"Hate me all you want, doesn't change the fact that we're brothers and that you're stuck with me."

Kyle's glare hardens and Simon pretends he doesn't see it, John already at the door and ready to knock when it swung open and Johnny's family grabbed his arm and practically threw him inside. Simon saw Johnny further in the house, looking like he was arguing with his eldest sister, Eve.

"Come in, come in! Simon!"

Isaiah was a friendly man, but it felt like that friendliness increased tenfold the moment Johnny and him started officially dating. Simon was relieved that Isaiah liked him and hasn't been aggressive about Simon dating his son. It made him wonder if Johnny or anyone else had a word with Isaiah beforehand.

Simon was pulled into a hug and Simon could hear Johnny whining in the background, "Pa, please!"

Isaiah releases Simon and turns to look at his son, "I finally have another son and I'm not allowed to hug him!?"

Simon did take pride in the fact, out of all Johnny and his sisters' partners, he was the only one Isaiah liked enough to call his 'son'. That did put Simon in a tricky position with the boyfriends of Eve and Carol, both seemed desperate for Isaiah's approval. And here Simon was, getting hugged and having a party thrown over the fact he was (finally) dating Johnny.

John cleared his throat and offered up the casserole dish he carried over, "I know you said not to bring anything but-"

"Hey, I'm not going to complain. I know for a fact you are one hell of a cook! You could compare to my wife!"

Johnny grabs Simon's attention by taking his hand, Eve making 'oohing' noises when he did. He casted a quick glare at her before dragging Simon off through the house to the back garden. Kyle followed, then Farah, and then Alex.

"I'm so sorry about my dad... and my sister... and I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize for whatever the rest of my family do."

"It's like they're throwing a baby shower, welcoming a new kid into the family," mused Farah as they walked into the thankfully MacTavish (other than Johnny) vacant space.

"You would think! Pa yelled 'I have another son' after I told him about Simon and Eve's boyfriend almost started crying."

Simon wanted to feel bad for Jay considering him and Eve had been dating for a solid two years now, but the guy stole Simon's lunch that Johnny's gran packed for him and he hasn't forgiven him for that. It was her famous lamb stew, so no, he's not being petty! Johnny had a couple foldable tables set up near the back corner of the garden near the fence. There was enough space for Simon and his tagalongs and Johnny and Hong-Jin.

"Wait, where's Hong-Jin?" Kyle asked as he put his book down on the chair he had chosen.

"He's coming in a bit. What about Ale and Rudy?"

"Ale is working an extra shift at his aunt's shop and Rudy is... Actually, I have no idea what Rudy does when he's not with Ale."

"... Is he a hitman?"

Simon snorts out a surprised laugh at Alex's quiet question. Farah just rubbed her forehead, clearly trying to hide the fact she wanted to laugh at the sincere question.

Kyle groaned at his boyfriend's seriousness, "Alex-"

"JOHNNY!"

Everyone flinched at the unmistakable voice of Hong-Jin from the other side of the fence. The fence shakes as Hong-Jin suddenly pops up on the other side of the nearly seven foot privacy, climbing over. He clearly met to drop down once he was on the other side of the fence, but his shirt got caught when he let go, causing him to flip over before the fabric ripped and crash to the ground. Everyone just stared in silence, Johnny looking fed up with Hong-Jin as the boy laid there without moving, clearly just defeated by his failed attempt at being cool.

And, of course, Johnny's mother had stepped outside with a tablecloth to put on one of the tables when this occurred. And her reaction would suggest this wasn't the first time she's witnessed something like this.

"Honey! You could've just used the side gate!" Muriel called, not even a bit worried about the boy as he finally got off the ground.

"Fence was quicker," Hong-Jin squawked out, the air knocked out of his lungs and his words not carrying like they normally do.

Hong-Jin straightens his back, Muriel making sure he was okay before she went back inside. The moment she went inside, Hong-Jin turned to Johnny, and in a voice only low enough so anyone from inside couldn't hear him, he asked a question.

"You still a virgin?"

"HONG-JIN WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Johnny's face turned red and Simon's did too as Farah, Kyle, and Alex started laughing hysterically. Johnny lunged at Hong-Jin with the clear intent to strangle him, the boy dodging to the side while somehow keeping his composure.

"It's an honest question! Are you gonna wait 'til marriage or-?"

God, he's just like Ale.

Simon covered his face, Farah patting his shoulder while wheezing. Johnny continued trying to fight Hong-Jin, face burning bright while he cussed out his friend. The yelling summoned Isaiah, who just froze Johnny and Hong-Jin in place with just a single glance.

"Johnny! We have guests!"

John walked out beside Isaiah, "Oh, don't worry about having a filter. I've heard worse when I served."

Isaiah whipped around to look at John, "You served!?"

That sparked something and the two men started talking, walking back inside. Johnny blinks before he looks at Simon and Kyle.

"Our dads just became best friends. I just know it."

Simon snorts and Johnny would abandon his mission to kill Hong-Jin. The evening would continue on and everyone would start helping bring out food for the grill and setting up a table for all of the dishes (the cold dishes being kept inside until later). Johnny's grandmother would appear, giving Simon a firm hug before she would turn to Hong-Jin.

"Honey, my sweet! I'm so glad you came! Does your mother want some food for later?"

"Gran, we already have so many of your containers!"

"You can bring them back with more of that kimchi your mother makes," Gran said with a smile.

"I'll ask my Umma to make some more for you."

"I would love that. And I would love it more if you didn't try jumping the fence with it."

Johnny had mentioned that his grandmother and mother were best friends with Hong-Jin's own grandmother and mother. They were friends before they had even known about each other, which led to them meeting and inevitably becoming friends. He was a practical MacTavish (by Johnny's mother and grandmother's words) and Simon was somewhat nervous about joining that status.

"Who wants to bet who will get here first: Nik or Alejandro or Rudy?"

"Ale and Rudy are coming around seven... Nik will probably spawn in the driveway after work or whatever the hell he does."

"Construction."

"Hmm, still don't believe that."

Kyle snorts and Simon rolls his eyes. All attention turned towards the house as Isaiah came out and went to the grill. Knowing that the MacTavish family was filled with amazing cooks, everyone started getting excited. Food, MacTavish made. Can't get better than that! Everyone started coming outside, Johnny's sisters and their boyfriends, his parents, grandmother, and John came out with Nik.

"Nik's here... before Ale and Rudy? Pay up!"

"Fuck, there goes my ten dollars."

"Shouldn't have betted on the horniest guy we know and his perfect boyfriend who he worships to show up before Nik."

"Why did you say his name like that?"

Simon decided to step into the house to call Ale, dodging affections from Nik who clearly had the intent of embarrassing him as he did. When he returned outside, Johnny ran up to him and whispered.

"There's a cake with 'pre-married' on it that Eve brought. I am so sorry-"

After dying from the description of the cake, the barbeque went off smoothly. Isaiah and John were attached at the hip at the grill, talking like they were old friends while Nik silently watched them from the food table. Simon was trying to stick with Kyle and Farah but they followed Alex when he got grabbed by Hong-Jin and now they were... dancing? They were doing something inside the house in the living room that appeared to be dancing. So Simon stuck with Johnny who soon was snatched by his mother and grandmother into the house straight to the kitchen.

Which left Simon, alone at the table because he was too nervous about following Johnny into the kitchen and definitely didn't want to join whatever madness the others were doing in the living room. He was debating on joining Nik where he was when Jay and Carol's boyfriend (was it Oliver?) walked over to him and sat down. Simon tensed up, having not spent any alone time with the two like... ever.

Jay was twenty-two and Oliver was nineteen, so they were old. And considering how Carol was, Oliver was weird.

"So, finally said 'fuck it' and got with a MacTavish," Jay started, speaking in a low voice like he might summon one of Johnny's family by mentioning their surname.

Oliver grunts, "Already the favorite, too..."

Jay grins, "How'd you cheat the system?"

"Maybe it's because his dad's military. Look at them, Isaiah could kiss him!"

Oliver said that in a particular louder tone than what Jay had been speaking in, clearly with no shame or fear. Coincidentally, Nik's rather blank staring had hardened and he looked less than friendly by this point. Simon blinked when he noticed, unable to recall the last time he ever had seen Nik make that face.

Eve walks over to them and Simon relaxes as she grabs Jay by the ear, "You! Stop tormenting my little brother!"

Simon always did like Eve.

"Babe- AH!"

Jay gets up and moves away from Simon, ear trapped in Eve's hold but he made no attempt to free it. Oliver blinked when Eve snapped her gaze on him, standing quickly and leaving towards the grill where Carol was talking with her dad.

"Go inside, Si. Think Johnny could use some saving from Ma and Gran."

Simon snorts before he stands and quickly makes his way inside. The moment Simon passed by the kitchen and Johnny saw him, he immediately started trying to get away from his mother and grandmother. Both women were speaking in Gaelic, sounding very loving yet sad. Maybe reminiscing memories.

"Ma- Gran-"

"Can I see my boyfriend?"

It was like using that word flipped a switch, Muriel and Emery gasp before they started cooing. Using the 'B' word seemed to strike them in the heart, freeing Johnny from their hold and letting him leave with Simon. Johnny was blushing, grinning as they walked into the hall.

"What?" Simon asked while matching his infectious smile.

"You called me your boyfriend."

"Is that not what you are?"

Johnny's smile widens, stepping closer to Simon. Simon felt his heart beat fast with how close Johnny was getting. But he didn't back away, he even leaned forward. The honking of a horn out front of the house made them snap out of their daze, blinking in surprise at the sudden, very loud and familiar noise.

"Simon! Lamejandro is here!"

Johnny couldn't help but laugh, having not heard Farah's 'affectionate' nickname for Alejandro before. Simon ran out of the house, finding Alejandro and Rudy getting out of Alejandro's car. Simon was quick to smack Alejandro's shoulder, the boy gasping in a feigned hurt as he clutched the box of drinks to his chest.

“How dare you!?”

"Told you to not honk the horn," Rudy said bluntly as he walked past Alejandro, patting Simon's shoulder as he goes by, “Congrats on getting a man, finally.”

Alejandro wheezes as Simon bites his tongue. This was going to be a long night, he just knows. They head back inside and Farah looks at Alejandro from her place on the living room floor, Hong-Jin beside her. Alejandro froze when they made eye contact, Hong-Jin looking at Farah as if he was waiting for her to make the first move on how to proceed.

“Can you dance, Lamejandro?”

Rudy quickly grabbed the drinks from Alejandro when it looked like the boy was going to either drop them or throw them to the floor.

“Oh? Can I dance?”

“That was the question, are you deaf?”

Simon snickers and leads Rudy to the dining room where a lot of drinks and utensils were being kept, “She’s going to bury him alive.”

“I’ll help her.”

Simon looks at Rudy, “I thought he was the ‘love of your life’?”

Rudy just looked at Simon while he placed the box down, “You know just as well as I that Ale’s ego needs to come down several hundred notches. If nothing is done it’s going to pop.”

Simon laughs as Johnny walks into the dining room. Rudy turns and looks at him, Johnny freezing in place. That’s what happens when you’re effortlessly gorgeous, you freeze people in their tracks… also Rudy could be terrifying. Johnny would’ve remained frozen there if Simon didn’t motion him to come over. Rudy showed mercy and looked away, allowing Johnny to walk over.

Of course, something had to happen. Though things were weird, it was expected. But Simon was really hoping nothing bad would happen, or anything negative. He expected too much considering so many interesting people (adults and children) were shoved into the same place. Andy, the youngest of Johnny’s sisters, ran in. She spotted him and Simon and pointed to the door she just ran from. Simon’s blood ran cold when he heard a steady rise of voices, an unmistakable argument.

“Ma’s ‘bout to fight that weird guy with the sunglasses!”

WHAT-

Simon was out the door, Johnny right behind him, before Andy could say any more. And there they were, Nik and Muriel MacTavish, yelling at each other in their respective mother languages. Simon picked up on most of what Nik was saying, which made him cringe. He didn’t understand anything Johnny’s mom was saying but judging by her family’s faces… it probably was on par with Nik’s obscenities.

Johnny’s grandmother came over and ushered Simon and Johnny inside, Andy slipping around them to join her sisters in cheering for their mother while their boyfriends watched in awed silence. The last thing Simon saw before being pushed inside was his dad getting in front Nik and pushing him back while Isaiah just came over and scooped up his wife and moved her away.

“Oh- Go sit with your friends. I’ll handle this.”

The look in Gran’s eyes made it impossible for Simon to doubt her. She went back out the door and it closed a little harder than what was necessary, Gaelic being muttered under her breath, and Simon staring at it in horror. Johnny silently grabbed his hand as they heard the yelling suddenly stop, both of them walking back to the living room rather quickly. Everyone greeted them with staring, wide eyes and not a single one of them daring to say anything.

Simon tugged Johnny along and they sat down on the couch where Alex was. Alex stared at them, eyes flickering to Kyle who was on the floor (maybe doing some strange alien dance before everything happened) as if to ask him how to proceed. The only thing keeping Alejandro from saying something was Rudy’s firm hold on his bicep. And Hong-Jin just looked too in shock to say anything.

So Farah said something.

“What the fuck is going on out there?”

“Nik-“

“Was fighting with my mom…”

Everyone became horrified.

“… well, so much for a wedding-“

Hong-Jin was smacked and Simon was flooded with fucking embarrassment over everything he just witnessed. Of course Nik would some how get into a fight with Johnny’s lovely mother! Of course he would-

Kyle ended up going to spy out the dining room window to see if he could learn anything. Simon was just replaying the image of Nik and Muriel yelling at each other, red faced and the clear fact that everything was escalating. Simon couldn’t recall ever seeing Nik like that… and it disturbed him. He was always so calm, silent in anger but always kept his head level. The most he ever had was a blank expression, a twitching eye and a tone in his voice. Not that.

“Si,” Farah said, Simon turning look at her.

She seemed to know what he was thinking and just reached over and placed her hand on his knee. Simon feels Johnny lean against him and he breathes out. God, something just had to happen…

Alex stood and went to go check on Kyle after a few minutes of uneasy silence. Simon and Johnny just leaned against each other, Farah sitting next to Simon and Hong-Jin, Alejandro, and Rudy sat on the floor. No one knew what to say, none of them expecting something like this to happen, not when everyone was so excited and happy. It just came out of nowhere. Everything was too quiet from the adults and Johnny’s sisters and their boyfriends, and Kyle hasn’t returned with any news.

The silence ticked on and it became too much for Simon. Alejandro noticed and cleared his throat.

“So… I was gonna wait until later to be a smartass but-!” Alejandro jumped up, “I think I’ll give it to you now. Be right back.”

Alejandro leaves, Simon hearing the front door opening and closing. Rudy just sighed, obviously knowing what Alejandro was getting.

“He thought it would be funny…”

“Thought what would be funny?”

“Matching tombstones,” Hong-Jin joked and Johnny snickered in response.

Farah rolled her eyes, “Bit expensive for a joke.”

Rudy grins, “You have no idea what Ale is willing to do for a joke. He will dip into his college savings his dad set up to accomplish one if he has to.”

Simon laughs knowing it was true. Alejandro loved a good, elaborate joke or prank. He could believe him misusing the money his dad saved up for him for a joke… but only if it would be hysterical. He’s not that eager to dance with death.

Alejandro returns, a rather small box in his hands. The smirk on his face made Simon groan, pre-annoyed by whatever was in that box. Johnny was staring hard at it, like he was trying to look through the box to see what was in it.

“Ale… I’m going to kill you.”

Johnny leans over to look in the box after Simon finally spoke after a moment of silence, “Wha- No-“

Alejandro starts laughing, proud of himself clearly, as Simon takes out a fucking collar. Hong-Jin starts cackling, Farah covering her mouth and snorting at the sight. Rudy just sighed, though he was definitely amused by his boyfriend’s antics. Simon drops the collar back into the box before he hands it off to Johnny. Simon stands and Alejandro jumps away, his laughter becoming more erratic as Simon tries to grab him.

After minute Simon managed to Alejandro, and that’s when Kyle and Alex returned from the dining room.

“Hey, I think-,” Kyle stopped talking when he entered the room, Alex bumping into his back as a result.

Simon releases Alejandro after Kyle stares at him for a good five seconds, of course judging him.

“So- Uh, find out anything?”

More judging staring before Kyle finally says something, “I think they resolved whatever that was. They were talking but whatever they were talking about made Johnny’s sisters get bored.”

Johnny snorts, “Oh yea, they’ve made up.”

The rest of that evening was rather tame. There was no more fighting or shouting matches, just smooth sailing. Whatever Gran did worked because now Nik and Muriel were rubbing shoulders, probably being even more friendly than what John and Isaiah were. Simon was glad whatever that was was now over, he was still mortified by the whole thing.

“At least they’re friends now…” Johnny murmured as he sat next to Simon in the corner.

“I was scared they were going to throw punches,” Simon mutters back.

“My ma would win.”

Simon snorts, the image of a man Nik’s size getting taken down by Johnny’s tiny mother was rather hilarious, “I’d pay to see that.”

Eve had pulled out lawn darts and Simon had a feeling it would be safer to sit in the corner away from Alejandro. Rudy was standing behind him, trying to get him to not fuck around because he might hurt someone. Hong-Jin was no help because he was daring him to launch the dart at a bottle balanced on a fence post.

“Ale, no-“

“ALE-“

Of course Alejandro had to throw it. He cannot refuse a dare, his ego wouldn’t allow it.

“What did you do with the box?”

“I- SHIT-“

Johnny jumps up and runs into the house. The last thing they needed was someone finding a box with collar with Simon’s name on it. That would really be the icing on the cake.

___

Fun Fact/pieces of information for the fic!:

'Honey' is Johnny's gran and mom's nickname for Hong-Jin cuz they think he's a very sweet boy :) (Johnny called him ‘Honey’ once and got slapped because he wasn’t allowed to use it)

Eve is Johnny's eldest sister, she is in college and is twenty-one. Carol is eighteen. Andy is sixteen (she torments Johnny the most out of the sisters because of how close in age they are)

Johnny's dad is around 6'7-6'8 while his mom is barely 5'3

Rudy is trans, still working on fleshing out his story in the au. Hopefully some more things with Rudy to help build up his background in the future!

Isaiah is described to be ‘oblivious’ and scattered brained. It’s just undiagnosed ADHD (where do think Johnny got it from?)

Jay and Oliver are decent guys, they're just a version of weird Simon isn't too familiar with. They're kind of jealous Isaiah jumped on liking Simon so much so quick but they don't care too much considering they're still liked and a part of the family

I have two sets of names for Soap's family. One set is used for when Soap has a good relationship with them in the au/fic and the other set is for when they aren't on good terms! (though I haven't had a chance to use the other set of names yet)

[aziraphales-library]

Hi hi hi! I’m looking for some longer hurt/comfort fics. I love angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, anything dealing with mental illness or unwellness, things like that. Preferably over 50k! Sorry if this is super specific! Doesn’t matter if it’s an AU or canon compliant. Thank you 💗

Hello. We have #angst, #hurt/comfort, #emotional hurt/comfort, and #mental health tags so check those out. Here are some 50k+ fics, at least some of which we have recommended before. Mind the tags on these!...

Sharp Objects by ElderlySardine (M)

Back in the mid-nineties, Aziraphale and Crowley had it all. They were friends, lovers, soulmates. Life was hard, but as long as they were together it didn't matter. Then in one catastrophic fight caused by Aziraphale's cruel, coercive brother Gabriel, the whole thing came crashing down. The boys parted company for good. Now it's 2021. Life has spun Crowley and Aziraphale in very different directions before throwing them back together at their lowest ebb. Can they manage to hide their history from their new friends? Can they forgive each other, and themselves? Could there possibly still be something there between them? And with Gabriel still lurking on the horizon, will they be strong enough to do anything about it?

And There Will Be Great Lamentations by TheBobblehat (M)

It has been a month since Aziraphle has become the new Archangel of Heaven, and it's worse than he can possibly imagine. Due to Gabriel's poor management while he was in charge, Azirpahle has been playing catch-up with all the paperwork that Gabriel didn't bother to do. On top of that, while Aziraphale has a shiny new title, he still can't seem to garner the respect of his fellow Angels, and now without Crowley, is feeling more lonely than ever before. Meanwhile, on Earth, Crowley isn't doing much better. Depressed, he haunts the bookshop under the lame excuse that he's "supervising" Muriel in their new position as bookseller. That old, demonic spark has long gone, and all that's left is a very depressed, very heartbroken shell of his former self.

Hold Me Until The Morning by TheLinThing (E)

Anthony Crowley is a lot of things, but mostly single and very unhappy about it. His brain is not his best friend, and that makes it hard for him to find love. Until a certain handsome blonde walks into the gaybar he frequents, and Anthony can only hope he can keep his fears in control so they won't be interfering with his plans for this angelic man.

Tiny little fractures by Wildphoenix_ofthe80s (M)

In a human AU, Aziah Fell and Anthony Crowley meet while looking for distraction on a self harm help message board. Please pay close attention to tags, they're there to protect you.

Introduction to Philosophy – an Inter-Faculty Course by Black_Bentley (E)

Everyone who participates in the Introduction to Philosophy course regrets they chose it for an "easy credit" as one of the students is taking critical thinking to an absurd level that is going nowhere (...), while the other can’t be bothered to think for himself. It would be hilarious if they weren’t so damned annoying. As for those annoying students, Crowley falls deeply in love and Aziraphale... Aziraphale is prophesied by their fellow student Anathema to break Crowley's heart Initially started as a half-silly something inspired by this post on Tumblr*, but then it got angstier and more disturbing than the first chapters would suggest. Please, mind the tags, but I promise a happy ending! *If you ever had That Student in any Philosophy course, you know what this is about.

Free by imposterssyndrome (E)

Anthony J Crowley's been living rough since he was kicked out by his parents as a kid. Somehow he's made it to the age of 40 and he's still alive, but if you asked him, he's not really sure how the hell he's managed it. It's not been pretty. Alistair Zachariah (Az) Fell runs a bookshop, but is still under the strict yoke of his parents: their eternal disappointment. 40 years old and he's desperately unhappy and hit crisis point. They meet (again?) as inpatients in an acute mental health ward. They have nothing in common. Obviously. How could they? They're practically opposites. So why are they so drawn to one another?

- Mod D

[hanjisungslag]

haiii >_< what type of fantasy characters/stererotypes would aot characters be?

- any characters you want but def reiner pls＾ ty baby

🧝‍♀️ aot characters & fantasy

characters included: eren, armin, mikasa, sasha, connie, jean, annie, reiner, bertolt, levi, erwin & hange!!

notes: this was so fun to do omg

✧ eren jaeger - hero gone villain

okay i know this is a bit basic to do… but c’mon!! he’s literally the epitome of ‘i’ve become what i sought out to destroy’ and i just can’t think of him as anything else. he fits the stereotype too well😭.

✧ armin arlert - mage

he is soooo side kick mage, no? tell me you can’t imagine armin (specifically with the mushroom hair) wearing a wizard gown, hat and holding a magical old stick. he doesn’t like to leave his tower often but is usually forced to when something goes amiss - i can imagine him sighing deeply while reluctantly grabbing his magical old stick.

✧ mikasa ackerman - sidekick

bad ass sidekick who lives in the woods & is probably on the run. i’m thinking… arcana muriel vibes for this but less stoic and quiet (and less cursed) but, she definitely learnt to fight in the woods when she was 3 OR taken in by an old, rugged guy whose family died tragically. either way, everyone’s terrified of her but she steals bread for orphans or some heroic shit like that.

✧ jean kirsten - prince

himbo prince😭 i mean this in the BEST way possibly mkay! he’s not really a himbo however… he just gives prince who accidentally got entangled in a weird adventure and he doesn’t know how to live without servants. he’s be like “erm, i am not crossing that muddy river.” BUT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WOULD BE INSANE by the end, he’d like finally understand how bad the government is or how poor the townspeople are and give them money.

✧ connie springer - the fool

sigh… the fool, the court jester, etc etc. he would be himbo prince jean’s court jester 100% and they’re like actually pretty good friends, they’ve known each other since they were kids. he also gets dragged along with jean on a weird adventure and he would be the comedic relief. (also a shoulder for jean to cry on when he gets mud on his fancy royal shoes).

✧ sasha braus - henchman

hunter/henchman hellooo…? literally expert at using a bow and arrow? grew up in the woods?? she would EAT so hard being a henchman and to make it even better, when someone hires her they don’t know she’s a girl and whenever someone finds out, they’ll be so shocked!! feminism!

✧ reiner braun - the beast

dare i say… some sort of big beast? like a big, fluffy beast but make it sexy, beauty and the beast vibes perhaps. imagine fighting this big and surprisingly attractive who lives under a bridge. IM SORRY THAT WOULD BE SO FUN… i’m thinking like diane from sds vibes too!!

✧ bertolt hoover - squire

young, little boy training to be a knight aka a squire. tell me you cant see this little cutie patootie dressed to the nines in armour, learning how to swing a sword?! maybe him and annie trained together or dare i say, he looks up to her.

✧ annie leonhart - knight

sworn shield to a princess that she falls in love with. imma need someone to write a fanfic about this RIGHT NOW!! we all know annie knows how to whop some ass so, of course she was chosen by the king and queen to protect their precious daughter but what happens when… she falls in love! GAH!! of course, she could never speak of her feelings - maybe one day.

✧ levi ackerman - assassin

leader of some sort of renegade, like a special group of assassins. no matter what universe this man is in, his crown will never fall! his title carries on throughout all possible realties m’kay. same backstory though 100%, raised in the poor ditches but learnt how to fight and now he’s a leader of a renegade! you have to pay big buck to get levi to assassinate someone, he’s the best of the best after all.

✧ erwin smith - commander

i’m sorry to be basic and boring but a commander of an army. HE HAS TO BEEE 😭it’s too perfect, i’m sorry. except imagine the army is all medieval and dripped out in chainmail!

✧ hange zoë - pirate

a pirate. LIKE CMONNN especially s4 hange with the eye patch?! i can totally imagine hange running a ship and sailing the seven seas. they’re literally a commander too? it was written in the stars, they’re perfect for the role! i can totally see them playing devious pranks and tricks on other pirates trying to secure the same treasure.

[rasby]

M6 eeping

Or, sleeping, for those who don't know! I'm sick and writing these is somehow helping me, expect more of them!!

Asra

• Puts on your shirt (that he totally did not steal) and some shorts and calls it a day (or...night, i guess)

• They don't move around too much but they talk a lot

• You've recently discovered a new passion for talking with him while he sleeps

• They get a bit embarrassed about it once you tell them at first but you two gain SOOO many inside jokes that it's worth it

• Generally, his sleeping schedule is none existant. They sleep when they feel tired. Day, night, shop, middle of the street...doesn't matter!

Nadia

• She is a lady, okay

• Has a full nightly routine, face masks, hair masks, gowns, everything.

• Once she lays into bed though, there is NO waking her up.

• You're often worried she fell into another coma

• It doesn't help that she doesn't move at all

• She's just laying there, still, not making any sound (besides the occasional snore)

• Everything in her life is scheduled and so is her sleep

Julian

• He doesn't often choose to go to sleep

• He mostly passes out at his desk in whatever he already had on

• In the rare occasion that he does go to bed, he puts on an old shirt, no pants

• However he NEEDS his socks. They're a must have

• He has cold feet!

• He both moves and talks a lot in his sleep (it's less talking more muttering tho)

• It isn't unbearable but it may take you time to get used to

• No sleep schedule whatsoever

• It's a miracle he gets sleep, honestly

Portia

• Has a collection of cute pajamas and won't sleep without them

• Also has some cute cat slippers

• When she sleeps she needs something to cling to

• Most of the time it's you

• It isn't too bad, but you might wake up with an aching back

• You see now why Pepi chooses to sleep on the chair...

• She usually goes to sleep early because her mornings are always busy

• And just in general, she likes the morning air, it's refreshing

Muriel

• If he could, he'd sleep naked

• But that isn't decent, especially now that you live with him

• He resorts to sleeping in his undies

• He doesn't move around too much but he does snore

• And it's LOUD

• You get used to it fairly quickly because compared to the sounds from the forest, it's pretty tame

• He still gets embarrassed if you tease him about it though

• He doesn't like being up during the night so he gets to bed soon after the sun goes down and wakes up at sunrise

Lucio

• He doesn't care about being decent and sleeps full on naked

• He gets really hot during the night and this way he can breathe!!

• This man also FIGHTS in his sleep

• You wake up with at least 5 bruises on each body part every morning

• He's required to take off the gold arm for bed because you got hit with it so much, you almost broke yours

• Sometimes when he's having a very vivid dream, you have to get out of bed because he's moving so much

• Usually sleeps whenever you do, he can stay awake for days and can also fall asleep in minutes

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

So I’m mostly curious about this for Muriel’s sake (he’s my favorite) but I have an HC request for if the M6, whether through a dream or magic, got to talk with their past selves from the darkest point in their lives, what would they say? Try to comfort/cheer themselves up? Assuming everyone got their Upright endings.

The Arcana HCs: M6 talking to their past selves

~ this is such an interesting one, @httyd-chocolate! thank you for the request, I hope you like what I do with it! (for hc purposes, this occurs as a magical dream where past and present selves interact) - brainrot ~

Julian

The dream is so vivid that he doesn't realize what it is until it's over

But right now, he's staring down at this gangly, scared, insecure almost-teenager, and every heroic bone in his body is telling him that this boy deserves all the safety and support in the world

It's weird to hear his young self saying the same deprecating things that he still does, but the jokes that normally make him laugh don't sound funny at all coming from a kid

And before he knows it, all the words he's heard you and Portia and Mazelinka say to him are spilling out of his mouth

"You're not alone. People are fortunate to be around you. You only drag everyone around you down when you refuse to let them lift you up. Sticking around to see the future is worth it."

At the same time, seeing himself in that kid's eyes is world-altering

Because to that younger self, the man he is now is smart, and heroic, and important, and somebody worth growing up to be

They stroll down to the seaside, at one point, as Julian listens to tiny Ilya's frustrations with his sister, and himself, and not knowing who he is or what comes next besides a call away from home

"You're pretty cool, mister," Ilya says at one point, "who are you?"

"I'm you," Julian says, and the look of hope and surprised delight he sees on Ilya's face makes him wake up with tears in his eyes

Asra

They know where they are as soon as the back alleys of the South End swim into view. They don't expect to see themself though

He's caught glimpses of the past once or twice, with you by his side, but those were moments of a childhood of wonder and escape. The kid in front of him hasn't found that magic yet

Little Asra is hiding in a corner behind a trash heap, clutching their lost mother's shawl and trying to hide the sniffles that shake their thin shoulders. Though all that disappears when they spot Big Asra

Suddenly, he's being scrutinized with the most curious gaze, and there's no hiding who he is. So he joins hands with him and starts wandering around, paying for lots of street food along the way

They'd forgotten how many questions they used to ask people

Until one hits him out of nowhere: "what's it like for us now?"

They don't want to leave that scared, lonely kid without something to look forward to, so they play with the dream a bit and lead Little Asra to a familiar magic shop a few streets away from the town square

In the dream, you're dozing by the fire, tea and snacks waiting on the table, and Big Asra watches his child self gaze at you in awe and remember what home feels like

It's sobering, to lead that child back to the docks and tuck them in to sleep under the pier, but it's a glimpse of warmth they're glad they got to share

Nadia

She has a suspicion of what's going on when she opens her eyes in her childhood bedroom, and that suspicion is confirmed when her 14-year-old self storms in and slams the door shut

She's ready to provide a haven. A listening ear. Ready to tell the young woman in front of her that she's right, that she's ready for more, that being held back and dismissed like this really isn't fair

Until the 14-year-old opens her mouth and starts to unload her day

For the first time in years, Nadia's not sure what to say. Does she want to tell this young woman that she's right, her parents and older sisters are being overprotective and unreasonable? Yes!

But does she find herself agreeing that a 14-year-old should not be allowed to go off to the battlefield her older sibling is serving as a medic on to lead the army to victory herself? ... yes ...

Does the embarrassed, hurting, angry teen in front of her need to know that? Absolutely not. So Nadia listens and nods instead

There are other things she sees that she realizes she remembers correctly. The fear of not measuring up. The frustration of having to wait to meet the milestones her siblings have already passed

So she tells this precocious, prickly young woman what you've been seeing in her all along: she is strong. She is smart. She is someone worth having faith in, and she doesn't need to be afraid

Muriel

He doesn't have to think twice. As soon as he sees that big, bony lad that was himself in his early twenties, huddled in a cell under the Coliseum after his first fight, he's breaking him out of there

He starts to wonder if this is a dream, when the iron bars give way under his grasp, but he's focusing on wrapping his cloak around those shivering shoulders and leading him out of the city

He's forgotten how scrawny he'd been before he bulked up on the meals provided for Lucio's prized fighter, and seeing spatters of his first opponent's blood on such a boyish face breaks his heart

They're both silent on the way through the woods. The younger him is still in shock, and the older him isn't sure what to do next

When the reach the clearing, the hut is more like what older him is used to. He helps young Muriel into the outside bath and begins putting together a hearty stew for the two of them to share

They both stay quiet. Older him watches every flinch and start and quiet pause of happiness and safety and keeps realizing that he deserves better. He deserves good things. I want him to have that.

They both turn bright red when younger him notices that the bed has two pillows on it, but they both know that that's a good thing

When the time comes for them to wake up, Muriel wraps that kid up in his arms. "... it gets better. Promise. You deserve it."

Portia

This is trippy, but after what she's been through with you, Portia guesses this is just par for the course. Why is she in Nevivon?

Her question is answered when a nine-year-old girl comes careening around the corner, fiery curls flying, just in time to collide with her and go sprawling in the dust by the road

Oh, Portia thinks, I remember being like this. I remember her.

Portia watches Pasha pick herself up, lower lip trembling with rage and eyes full of tears, getting ready to lash out at whoever just ripped her dress and made her day go from awful to terrible

And she pulls that little girl into the tightest hug she can manage

Once Pasha's made good use of the handkerchief she's been handed, she takes Portia's hand and shows her around town

She tells Portia all about her life right now. About the grandmas who take care of her, and the parents she doesn't remember

And she talks and talks and talks about her amazing older brother, the last family she has, who left several months ago to explore the world and find adventure and save people - without her

Portia listens and comments, but she keeps getting distracted looking at the strong, clear-eyed, purposeful little girl next to her

So she spends the rest of her visit telling that kid that she's strong, she's interesting, she's exciting, and she is so, so very important, even when it's just her

Lucio

He's back in the frozen woods. He doesn't like the frozen woods

And neither, apparently, does the six year old boy across from him

At first he's just concerned. Why is a small child alone in the freezing cold? He needs to help them get safe and warm

Then he recognizes the golden head of hair, and the big, silver eyes staring up at him, and the nose red from cold, and he has to bite his tongue to keep from yelling as he starts a fire and asks for a name

He likes having a different name, he realizes, when he gets to introduce himself as Lucio the Adventurer to little Montag

Montag, he learns, is alone on a quest to hunt down a bear per his mother's instructions, but he's cold and hungry and frightened

To Montag, Lucio is a hero. He's big and strong and has a cool arm and builds a fire to keep him warm and listens to him talk about how he wants to be a leader when he grows up, without scoffing at his dreams

So the two of them huddle together by the fire under one of the trees, sharing a cloak and talking about who they are

Lucio hears the beginnings of his downfall already in Montag's stories about growing up stronger than everyone so the people in his family and his tribe will have no choice but to praise him

And Montag hears humility and hope from Lucio, about the importance of recognizing mistakes and learning to love and be loved