#Mullet lookin ass hair | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

getsojaded · 2 years ago

Text

downtown lovers i — it won’t always be like this || calum hood

a/n: ok so. i originally wrote this out of my ass while listening to inhaler (shout-out inhalersos fans) and as i kept writing i decided to make this like an open series where i just write abt little downtown adventures and honestly i don’t know how this is gonna play out LMFAO cause it’s like not exactly a series but at the same time it kind of is??? like those stand alone books that you don’t have to read in order to understand but you still can for the experience???? dude idk what im saying anymore just roll w it i hope u guys like it

—

the cool, evening breeze of downtown seattle brushed against melanie's legs as she stood in the queue of the music venue alongside many others, waiting until the doors opened for the band that would be performing that night, inhaler.

she switched between scrolling through different apps on her phone and eavesdropping on various conversations made by people surrounding her, hearing "i'm so excited to see josh jenkinson!" one too many times, trying to find ways to make the time pass a little bit faster.

this was her first concert that she'd be attending alone, and needless to say, the social anxiety was catching up to her. she'd been so used to having at least one friend accompany her to the hundreds of concerts she'd gone to, and she was under the impression that she wouldn't be attending this one alone...

until her friend cancelled last minute on her. which, was bummed her out an extreme amount.

however, the show was the next day and she absolutely did not want to scramble around on twitter and instagram, trying to find people who would want to buy her ticket last minute. so here she was, standing alone in a crowd of grouped-together people. and god, was she feeling anxious.

lost in her own intrusive thoughts, she even failed to realize that the man lining up behind here in the queue was alone as well.

she turned to her side, leaning her back against the brick wall of the venue and closing her eyes, taking a deep sigh as an attempt to calm herself down.

"hey, you okay?" a deep, accent-laced voice filled her ears. her eyes opened and she looked to her left side, making eye contact with a tall, tan skinned man. her eyes quickly scanned him, immediately noticing how fucking attractive he was. dark, curly hair that was on the verge of forming a mullet, a black supreme tee-shirt that exposed his multiple tattoos on his arms and accentuated his muscles, straight black leg dress pants and black docs. with a leather jacket in one hand, his phone and an unlit cigarette in the other.

god, he was hot. really fucking hot.

"oh yeah, i'm alright. just getting tired, 's all," she responds, trying to sound as collected as possible. "you're lookin' a little stressed there, love." he responds, assuming that the rosy shade appearing on her cheeks was from the cold air and not the use of his pet name, to which that assumption was flat out wrong.

"i'm okay. was just a bad choice of footwear for a concert. did it to myself," she fibs, letting out a light laugh as he takes notice of her black boots, then analyzing the rest of her outfit. a basic, black silk dress that was underneath an oversized leather jacket. "at least you look beautiful," he tells her. "you here alone?"

"thank you," she sheepishly smiles up at him. "yeah, i'm here alone, my first one, too."

"ahh, that's why you're lookin' so shaken up." he replies, letting out a light laugh. "don't worry, going to these by yourself are a piece of cake. definitely needs some getting used to, but afterwards it feels like nothin'." he reassures her, reaching in his jacket pocket for a lighter. "what's your name?"

"my name is melanie, and yours?"

"beautiful name for a beautiful girl. i'm calum."

"pretty name for a pretty boy. by the way, are you always this flirty?" she asks him, resulting in light chuckles from the both of them. "no, not always. only when pretty girls are lined up alone in front of me for inhaler." he says, melanie rolling her eyes and smiling in response.

"well, calum, i'm not lining up alone anymore. i'm lining up with you, now." she states, a big grin appearing on calum's face afterwards. "glad to be waiting with you."

they're standing in line for a little over 45 minutes, the conversation flowing exceptionally easily as they got to know each other. melanie's found out that he had also been in a band for a brief amount of time when he was younger, ultimately deciding to part ways but staying best friends with his bandmates. calum found out that melanie had just moved to the city as a result of a new job opportunity, originally living on the east coast just a few months before. with all the free time on calum's hands, he decided to spend some time in the city, having always admired how beautiful it is, yet never having enough time to adventure around it while he was around on tour.

"you're gonna have to play me some songs of yours, wanna compare you to bobby now," she jokes around at that last bit, referring to inhaler's bassist, robert keating, after finding out that calum was the bassist in his band as well. "i'd rock his shit, just saying." he responds, melanie laughing at his sudden defensiveness.

more giggles and continuing of conversations let the time pass by so much quicker than melanie had felt that they did before, and the next thing you know, the pair were standing beside each other while the general admission crowd were waiting for the anticipated band to come out.

despite choosing comfort and deciding not to camp out for long hours outside of the venue for the show, they had still made it to the second row on bobby's side of the stage. "looks like i'll be comparing you two for the entirety of the show," melanie giggles, calum nudging her slightly in response to her joke, "shut up. i'm showing you our songs the minute we get out of this place."

next thing you know, the lights dim and the four band members appear on stage, instruments, opening the show with it won't always be like this. the crowd roars and cheers, singing along to the band in front of them, hands waving around and feet jumping in all sorts of directions.

though melanie has some extra height with her uncomfortable leather boots on, her petite hight is on her bad side today, coming to the realization that she can't see very much due to the tall people standing in front of her.

halfway during the second song, calum takes notice of the way she's attempting to crane her neck up, still having a smile on her face as she enjoys the show. he breaks the touch barrier between them, softly grabbing her by the waist. melanie jumps slightly at the initial touch, but then loosens up at the realization of calum gesturing her to stand in front of him so that she could see better. it would benefit her anyways, and since cal was at least a foot taller than her, it wouldn't affect him that much – at all, really.

calum’s hands don’t leave melanie’s sides for the entirety of the concert. and as they’re exiting the venue and walking down the crowded streets at midnight, his arm is still wrapped around her as they stroll together.

“you know, you made this concert a lot more enjoyable,” she says softly, smiling up at the tall man beside her. “glad to hear. the exact same goes for you as well.” calum responds. “are you doing anything now?”

“if i would, i still wouldn’t be walking with you to no destination in particular,” she giggles, turning to him and stopping them from walking. “why? what did you have in mind?”

“i’m not entirely sure if this is too forward considering we met maybe 3 hours ago,” he starts, grinning. “but i’d love to get to know you better. preferably not in a concert queue. if you were willing to, would you wanna grab a drink or two with me?”

“hmmm, i’m gonna have to think about it,” melanie puts her hand on her chin, walking away from a calum with his jaw to the ground, laughing as he chases after her.

once he’s within reach of her shoulders, he turns her around, big smiles planted on both their faces.

“yes calum. i’d love to spend more time with you.”

#5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood #calum hood imagine #luke hemmings #michael clifford #michael clifford imagine #5sos #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #calum hood smut

92 notes · View notes

sad--tree · 6 years ago

Text

when i was 14 one of my staff at summer camp told me that the first time he saw me he thought i was a dyke (his words, not mine) bc of my hair cut. now im 20 and if my hair style doesn't make ppl think im queer then im doing something wrong

#unfortunately its been awhile since my last haircut so its lookin less queer punk mullet and late 2000s emo ://#last time i was at the hair dressers i had 2 srsly restrain myself from describing my desired hair cut as queer #anyways no offence sgt yu but in what fuckin world were those ever appropriate words to just drop on a kid like that jesus #my closeted ass nearly died lmao i just remember freezing like.... What Did He Just Say To Me?????

6 notes · View notes

couchpotatoaniki · 4 years ago

Text

One Year ❣︎ One: Holidays Aren’t For Drama

Chapter Summary: San has finally found you after five years of searching, and he wants you for himself--though not knowing how to do it just yet. In the meantime, you’re having fun hanging out with a friend on the plane to Jeju.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking Word count: 1.2k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Prologue For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

You were glad that you were sat next to Yunho on the plane since you needed good vibes that your boyfriend couldn’t really give you. Too sucked up in his own life, which make him the worst person to sit next to Yeosang.

Thankfully, Dominic was terrified of the boy so he was silently scrolling through his phone. That left Mingi to annoy poor Seonghwa the whole trip.

“Oh, you bitch,” Yunho mumbled, picking up four cards from the deck beside him. To pass the time, you and the tall boy decided to play a game of Uno.

Chuckling, you threw down a yellow 2. effectively ending the round. “You know, for someone of your profession, you’re really shit at cards.”

“Maybe because I’m playing against your devious ass.”

“You love my devious ass, don’t lie.” Scoffing, he gathered the cards and began to shuffle them before you ripped them from his hands. “Oh hell no. I know for a fact you’re gonna rig it.”

“I tried last time, and you still won,” he huffed, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair before using the other to take the deck again.

Yunho wasn’t really your friend to begin with. More so Mingi’s, but that had not stopped the two of you becoming just as close. Seonghwa and Yeosang too; you had meet them through the sweet-hearted boy, and all three had quickly become an addition to your short list of loved ones.

In fact, out of the six of you, Dominic was the odd one out.

He didn’t know the secrets you shared, the things you did without his knowledge. Nothing that would directly harm your relationship, no.

To add to that, the five of you were like a family, looking out for each other, and the boys weren’t very font of the guy you had chosen to date.

Then again, compared to the last one, Dominic was much better.

Every year, the boys and you had decided to treat this time as a holiday away from the all the work you do, to treat yourselves for living another year. So you all splurged out and did something big.

How you chose the destination was fairly simple; one of you would throw a dart at a map of the world--blindfolded, obviously--and wherever it landed, you all went there.

It’s what led to the fun cruise in the Pacific the previous trip, and this part of Korea for this current one.

Though, Jeju was one of the places on your bucket list. You were more than excited to go and sight-see. Already, you do plenty of that for your job but never really get the chance to stop and pay attention.

To relax with friends and have fun.

You were going to Jeju for leisure purposes.

San was going to Jeju for you.

Yes, he was originally going there for work, to deal with a bit of business that had gone awry. But then he saw you, quickly crossing the road, from his vehicle.

Decided to follow you, see where you were going and with whom.

At first, he was a little pissed to know that you were travelling with five men, you being the only woman. Most likely scenario, one of them was your boyfriend.

But that information had no longer mattered, because you were going to Jeju. On the same flight as him.

San didn’t like to admit in believing in fate, but if that wasn’t it, he didn’t know what would be.

Hongjoong--who was stood beside him in the middle of the airport by now--was concerned over his strange behaviour. Even the slightest shift that seemed out of the ordinary, he immediately became suspicious.

That’s why San knew it was stupid to try and lie to him.

When he pointed out to you, telling him to look, it only took the older boy a few seconds for him clock on. “You’re shitting me...”

“I’m not, Joong. She’s here. She’s really here.”

“San,” the now-blue-haired boy began, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention, “look at me. You can’t. It was five years ago, and not to mention, you’re already with--”

Shoving his hands off his shoulders, the mafia boss glared at his second-in-command. “You don’t even like Dae anyway!”

No, Hongjoong hated that crazy woman to his very core. She was bad for his friend, but the boy was too caught up in filling the hole you somehow managed to carve to even care.

Had it been any other, the short man would have let San do his thing, but his current girlfriend was one of the heirs to a rather big mafia herself. Being with her involved politics, and being with her for nearly five years brought more trouble than you were worth.

But Hongjoong knew that San wouldn’t listen to him. Not when he’s like this.

The only thing he could do now was damage control.

The two males--San mainly--had stalked the six of you, deducing who meant what to you. Didn’t like how cosy you were with either of them, but specifically disliked the guy who had his hand wrapped around your waist.

Then there was the other guy, one of the really tall ones, with black hair--streaks of green and grey running through it--and a loud voice. Party animal, the two thought. He was particularly close to you too, sending playful hits that were definitely reciprocated. Hopefully, he was just a friend...

The other tall guy--the blonde one, with puppy-like eyes--seemed more reserved yet somehow still as energetic.

Next tallest was s black-haired fella. Clean and lean--smart-looking, with soft (but somehow sharp) eyes.

Finally, the last guy. The one who rarely spoke, with a silvery grey mullet that surprisingly complimented his pale skin. There was something about him that Hongjoong couldn’t pin down. Something familiar...

The most obvious odd thing was how you and your supposed ‘boyfriend’ were of a different ethnicity to the other four. Confirmed when the two men overheard you speaking in a completely different language neither of them were used to.

“Fuckin’ language barrier,” San grunted as he realised there was yet another obstacle in his way.

“Fuckin’ good-lookin’ people,” Hongjoong laughed, scanning the six of you.

Being in business class was usually a comfortable experience, but right now was the most excruciating thing possible for both of them. San constantly bombarded the elder with questions and worries about you.

Couldn’t even send Hongjoong back there since his newly-dyed electric blue hair would have captured too much attention. “What’s the point of you if I can’t even get you to spy on people,” the younger huffed. “Dye your hair back to black when we get to the villa.”

“Oh, shut up,” Hongjoong spat with gritted teeth, already beyond annoyed with the man’s behaviour. “That’s not even my job. And you come at me with having unusual hair, but you look like Frankenstein’s Bride with that lock of white with the rest being black.”

Groaning, San looked at the entrance of the business area, hoping for some other miracle to occur and you would peer out. Desperation filled him, wanting to see you again. Etch your newer features into his mind once more.

“Who do you think those other guys were? Her boyfriend’s friends? Her friends? Colleagues?”

“Probably her friends, since they all seemed pretty close to her.”

“Ugh.” San buried his face in his hands, still not liking the sound of that.

“It’s the 21st century, dude. Girls can be friends with guys--and that girl is friends with those guys. Get used to it.”

“Don’t wanna,” San mumbled, puffing out his cheeks as Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at his tantrum.

“Listen, dude, you can’t confine and control her. Doing that’s only gonna push her away--if you’re actually serious in pursuing her.”

“Of course I’m serious!”

“Then you need to plan this out carefully. And you need to think of it fast, since I doubt they’ll be in Jeju for long."

The younger male scoffed, running his tongue against the inside of his cheek as his confidence grew and cogs in his brain began moving. “Don’t worry, I’ll definitely come up with something.”

Sighing, Hongjoong looked out of the window, into the peaceful, empty ocean they flew above. What exactly had he done?

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby , @sparklychangbin ,

113 notes · View notes

es05l2k5sl · 5 years ago

Text

I'll never understand why WB had to redesign the Batcast for the new Bat adventures. Some characters took getting used to. But as for the villains, I'm roasting they asses cus they're ugly. Can't change my mind.

These Oswalds together look like 2 different people bruh. But we're here to talk about new Oswald. This Wimpy x Olive Oyl fusion snoody looking ass bitch. I'd like his outfit if it didn't have that lazy drawned bow tie looking like 2 triangles glued together & those fake ass MJ gloves. Also when tf did he have 10 fingers in dis universe? Also fuck that hair. Rocking a balding Mullet like ponytail before. Now it's just a boring cut down. Got dat snooty ass bitch look on face like his bird shit don't be stinking. I'll rock tf out u. Lookin like a whole ass Looney character or sum mf from the 30s.

Wot da fuck dey got Selena wearing here? Sis looking like a whole ass alien. Kid vs Kat looking ass bish. And her skin white af too? Did sis fall in some damn Joker acid too? Sis whole lower face is white as shit! Dat shit paler than crack. Like sis got the white slapped outta her and she just turned whiter. Das probably what happened. Her ass probably got on my mans Bruce last nerves one night and got da shit backslapped out her ass.

So my dude Matthew got turned a different color pal & got his neck privileges revoked? Lazy af but not the worst revamp.

You kno that meme: "upgrade, upgrade, FUCK GO BACK!"? Dis pre much sums up Jonathan here. My mans jus looks so dirty here. Looking straight outta da trash bin. Like literally dirty. Nasty ass teeth probably got dat hot ass breath blowing thru them bitches. Das a real fear toxin right there. Long ass black as shit dirty ass hair. Tryna copy off my girl from the ring w dat shit. Need to take dat dirty ass wig and mask and Amish hat tf off my dude. It is not rocking you. Dat whole worn out trashy ass outfit ain't working for you either hoe. You need to take yo ass a bath bitch cus your arms looking brown and ashy as a bitch. You can not even THINK about borrowing anything from me w yo dirty creepy stalker lookin ass. If you don't put down that damn stick like yo ass need help walking and shit I oughtta bitch ya ass with the shit fo going around dressed like dis. Take that damn rope off your neck bitch fo I do something Bruce won't do.

Bruh, you can not go up to my face and tell me these niggas are the same person in the same mofucking universe! Jervis What da fuck did they DO TO YOU MY N**GA?? N**ga looking like a damn leprechaun with special needs and shit. Rocking all dat dookie green swag but you got no swag anymore my dude. It's shit like you clothes and yo breath! Yo shits wasn't perfect and white before but them hoes looking hella worse now. What you get drinking all that damn tea my n**ga. Ol Tiny ass n**ga. Like wot. HOW?! HOW TF DID YO ASS SHRINK??? LIKE SOMEBODY TOSSED YOU ASS IN A LAUNDRY DRYER AND PROBABLY FORGOT TO TAKE YO STUPID ASS OUT. PROBABLY WHY YO HAIR WHITE AND SMALL AS SHIT YA UGLY ASS LUCKY CHARMS LOOKING ASS CRACK FEENY. If you don't hop yo ass back under a rainbow with dem skinny ass broken heel lookin ass tap dancing shoes.

Victor, bruh, they dem did yo ass so dirty in the new adventures. I ain't gonna lie that new suit kinda ok. But you looking like a whole skeleton and shit. Lookin like a young Palpatine & shit. Ol Frisky dingo looking ass! Need to put those goggles back on. The least yo (spoiler) 2003 Baxter Stockman ass can do now.

Yo ass probably looking mad as shit cus ya can't jack it no more n**ga. Dats all gon now. Long with yo unloyal ass wife. How tf she gon bounce on you after everything you did for her? After all the years and bull you had to put up with & she leave yo cold ass for another nibba? Fuck DCAU Nora. Just fuck her.

Scarface lookin like a damn Fanboy & Chum Chum character & his boy over here lookin like Chode. Next.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHGG.

Just. UAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH. Bruh I will never understand who tf thought this shit was a good idea?! Like who the fuck, was drawing dis nigga. Drew DIS Sus af shit. LOOKED at dis shit. And said to deyself: "Yeah dats da Riddler aight". HELL TO THE NAH DAT AIN'T NO DAMN DAS A (dick) FIDDLER! HE LOOKIN SUS AS FUCK NOW WITH THEM TIGHT AS GREEN SPANDEX AND THAT DARK AS HELL EYELINER. Looking like gay Christmas elf! Looking like a gay ass ballay dancer with them Spider Gwen ballerina shoes. You can't dance for shit nigga! Yo shit is SOOO DAMN TIGHT like I can get a good sight and shape picture of yo "Question mark" I'm telling y'all. sSSSUUUSSSSSSS. Looking like a bigasss lima bean. Skinny ass Jack skeleton moFucka. Like. They did my boy Eddy so freakin dirty with this. My mans had class, style, a nice look, HAIR. Now he. Whateverthelivingfuckdisbaldasspeterpanlookinmofuckasupposestobe. And i hate how that's how he did be lookin in almost every new Batverse when why tho? Nigg(m)a look stupid as hell. How tf he expect to be tooken seriously dressed and lookin like dis ? If I saw dis fucker in real life and he threatens me, imma laugh at his ass and beat him with his cane. Get ya Richard from Allen Gregory looking ass away from me. I can't!

Bruh it don't look that much but they did my mans Harvey dirty too. LOOK AT MY MANS FACE. good half i mean. Yall nigs kno. THESE MUHFUCKERS STRIPPED HIM OF HIS PRETTYNESS! Man. Dis version of Harvey was a pretty muhfucka. You can't deny dat shit

Even when he became Two-Face he still got dat 1 side of pretty. And that deep af panty soaking voice to go along w it. He dat half and half package.

Now HE LOOK LIKE DIS

WHOEVER TF DID DIS NEED DEY ASS WHOOPED! SQUARE TF UP NOW. NIGGA LOOKS LIKE EYEBROWLESS VERSION OF DOC FROM SECRET SATURDAYS. FAT ASS BLOCK NOSE MUH FUCKA. His eye looks like traingle with a Nike logo on top of it. Lookin like a poorly drawn Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And ya other half ain't lookin that good either. Dat 1 eyebrow putting Helga Pataki to shame! I mean the shit didn't look good before but it was somewhat tamed, now the shit looking like full grownass caterpillar. And that lip black as hell. Kno that side dirty as fuuhck!

I don't even know what tf I'm sposed to say about DIS except (kinky..)

Angelica pickles looking ass. Bigass blonde captain coconut looking ass hairstyle. Looking like a blonde creepy ass Wednesday Adams. Dem black as fuck Kim possible lips. She actually looking like a family guy character with that bigass head and small body. I SWEAR she ded looking like one of Stewie's ex's right now my dude! Got tiny ass flat ass guitar chip shoes. Looks like sis wearing fucking Zippers as shoes. Sis got that "i got something planned fo yo ass" smile. Sis look like she plotting something or did some evil shit already.

. . .

Bros I'm sorry but I'm just as confused as you like. I can't find a single thing different about Harley. Like literally nothing. Her makeup at night be looking blue sometimes, looking like a fakeass Livewire, but nah. They didn't even touch homegirl. Why tf is Harley the only character that stayed the same?????! Niggas was playing favorites. They had plans for that ass since day one. They was probs like: "Aye y'all. DO NOT TOUCH HARLEY. SHE STAYS THE SAME!" "why?" "JUST LISTEN TO ME BITCH!" "Wha bout her mans?" "Oh hell yeah fuck his shit up!" ...sigh.. Yep. It's that time...

UaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH what else is dere to be said about dis ugly ass nigga? Dis nigga look like Yakko Warner & Freakazoid's love child! Dis nigga look like a random Tiny toons or Animaniac character! With that dookie green shirt and flower. You and Riddler's gay ass both matching them Dexter's laboratory Gloves. Why tf yo eyes eyes black as fuck tho?! How tf does one do that to theyself?! Yo ass probably snorted some shit and ya shits expanded and that's prolly yo pupils with ya cracked out ass. Nigga don't even look like a clown no more. Hell Jared Leto Joker atleast had the lipstick down. Dis nigga got dem ashy ass lips hanging out. Nigga think he owning too. Nigga you don't own shit! Broke as hell now. And yo design broke too. Joker? Man more like Broker. Got dat fairly odd parents hair. Got that Cosmo and Wanda in one. Like bitch if you don't. Just like Riddler i can not take yo animaniac looking ass serious. You do not scare me bitch! Bye!

Now see dis? DIS is Aight! A lot more fitting and & faithful to the character. No over the fucking top redesign, you can actually tell it's the same damn character as before, a little bit of swag for personality

So that's the tea. Ivy & Croc are the only good rogue redesigns in the whole series, evBody else ugly as shit.

354 notes · View notes

splendidshinobi · 4 years ago

Text

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 26-30

been awhile since i’ve watched but.... another day, another emotional rollercoaster

episode 26: her reason

who’s her and what’s her reason

bother him ALLLLL you want maria ross...bother him all day long

he deserves it

INVOICE HAHAHAHAHA

dont yell at maria fuck off!!!!

GIRLY WHAT IS IZUMI DOING!!!!!!!!

i screamed i did

i love sig and izumi sm!!!!!!

omg ed and al’s faces

PANINYAAAAAAA

why does she have an automail arm whAT

i feel almost insulted for paninya’s dope weapon legs

oh wait ive seen this arm wrestling scene before lmao

go paninya goooo

i do not tolerate this mr dominic slander

OH NO DO NOT INSULT QUEEN WINRY’S WORK

sucks to suck!!!!

i do think winry may have just fallen in love

ed is such a simp though

JUMBO????? his name iS JUMBO??????

al’s mousy little what?

yikes yeah you know what winry id be pissed too

she felt so good about her work!!!

crush over

jk theyre soulmates

wow roy ur so smart

damn oh ok they kept paninya’s legs too

so she only has 1 biological limb wow

paninya is definitely a lesbian

we’ve all known that though i mean-----the camo pants

i saw paninya wearing army pants and flip flops, so i bought army pants and flip flops

oh my god winry you DEVIOUS BASTARD

i can see why people ship paninya and winry but im sorry im an edwin simp

young pinako is hot i get it dominic

OH MY GOD DEVIOUS

WINRY LMAO

GUN LEGS!

kill him?? pANINYA think about that before you shoot someone!!!

AWWWWWW ED!!!! “best automail in the world!!!!” IM CRYING

“hello sir” alphonse you sweet boy

sheska u good???

OPE HEY CURTISES

ed why are you sad

omg winry dont cry!!!!

hahahaha sig

THE BOYS’ FACES LMAO

episode 27: teacher

izumi time lets gooooooooooooo

the ominous music lolololol

THE WINDOW

WHERE IS ALPHONSE

RIGHT THERE

ED’S FUCKING FACE HAHAHAHA

grumman!!!!!

STEW TONIGHT FUCK YEAH

xerxes drop

edward you are being so foreboding

izumi queen of my life lets go girl!!!

umbrella king sig curtis!!!

ed you dumbass!!!!!

angry face boys

mom dad and the kids on the train!!!! makes me cry

awww win’s gonna miss the dudes

omg havoc plzzzz

why is he calling riza like she doesnt already know shes going too

do not leave my boy falman behind!!!

oh good ok

mason my dude!!!

“yes maam”

this is UNCOMFORTABLE

guys i simp for sig tbh

omg al scary boy

uh oh she SAWWWWWWW you!!!

aww i forgot about the dead cat goddamnit

not THE KITTY

ok but those baby kittens need some MELK

its all over for you two watch out

cant hide JACK SHIT from mama bear

yikes

she gonna kick your ass oof

hugs oh thats nice

episode 28: all is one, one is all

island timeeee

wait theyre on island time PART 2???? ok

the way sig’s HAND---- anyway

ok so creepy naked child??

im suspicious

clearly the boys didnt read my hero academia

or the three musketeers

al really got YEETED

yote?

oh the kid has clothes on. leaf clothes

i know dublith is in the “south” but is it really a tropical locale?

aww the bunny

“kill it”

owie hope you dont get rabies edward

the ost man so good for both series

al really said J’ACCUSE

they didnt know the masked man was mason the first time around? aight

im really having trouble typing and eating dumplings at the same time

might pause for a dumpling break

i made these in the microwave theyre pretty good

def not the best ive had but they were, ya know, microwaved

anyways sad al hours

YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER????

it’s the circle of life simba

getting REAL philosophical rn

“dont call me small”

now we’re getting REAL scientific

im just imagining these idiots on shrooms rn

mannnnnnnnnnnn

WAIT IMAGINE LING YAO ON SHROOMS

wow what a yummy snake breakfast

izumi said 👁 👄 👁

izumi is so hot

that is the creepiest motherfucker i ever did see

ok im gonna go rinse this dish out be back in a min!!!

episode 29: the untainted child

i am the tainted adult

you SURE his parents are lookin?

i feel like izumi is being very loving towards this child

what happened to tough love bbygirl

im not saying shes not loving in her ways but shouldnt she by nature be a litttttleeee bit more sus of this kid???

dont tell me

this is sig and izumi’s “child”

theory pending

winry is such a protective lil egg

here’s whats cookin in my head

its sig and izumi’s child and ed’s arm and leg smooshed together into a homunculus...theory still pending but im definitely right

WHY DOES SIG SLEEP W HIS EYES OPEN SIR!!!!!!!

whole situation is a mess my dudes

what did u do kid?????

“i know ed lies sometimes”

l oh fucking l

who transmutes themselves with a bed though

not the move kid

OPE

of course winry slept through this whole thing

sheska and elicia and gracia. my heart.

did the colonel just LEAVE HER BEHIND? god what a dick

sheska WENT OFFFFFFFF!!!!!!

yes maam!!!!!!!

u tell that dumbass!!!!!!

why does envy have to sit like that

gon make me SIMP

embarrassing

*debby ryan hair tuck meme*

i love the way al sits

hes so dainty

what a gent

oh that lil kid was in the gate!!!!

how a homunculus is born? please tell me more

ARCHER....my sister was texting me about him when she asked how far i was. i googled him i saw his....bod....

yup

ARM AND LEG CONFIRMED

my brain waves are unparalleled

ED REALLY JUST YEETED WINRY AND KABEDONED THE HOMUNCULUS

EDWARD STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP OMG

off goes the kid

BIDOOOOOOOOOOO <3

why is she upset??? what did you realize izumi

that its your baby??? probs

im just that smart

episode 30: assault on south headquarters

YOKI LMAO

seeing yoki and scar makes me miss mei chang

MEI CHANG SUPREMACY

yoki really about to snitch

BIDOOOOOO

everyone showing up this episode

greed is gonna roll up with a venti frappuccino any minute now

archer is a creep

is this footage from the arnold classic?

“the muscles did the talking for them”

archer is a creep

who ru calling a freak HAHA AL’s angwy voice

ope

how IS hughes doing

pls not the pain

how did this kid come into the corporeal world

armstrong what

OUROBOROS

so he’s either wrath or pride ig

i dont think bradley is a homunculus in this one

yoki is basically michael yagoobian aka the bowler hat guy

there’s greed lmao

with the ladies

EW NO PLEASE GOD

I DONT WANT ANY MORE SHOU TUCKER

KIMBLEE WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK WHO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE THAT

WHO ALLOWED THAT I AM CHOKING

NOT THE MULLET PONYTAIL

izumi taking on the military

of course

kimblee JESUS

bradley is EVERYWHERE at ALL TIMES

this is rOUGH

there are so many parties vying for the kid

i still cant get over kimblee like WHAT

WHAT IS HIS PURPOSE HERE

AGAIN it just seems like bradley is everywhere at all times

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #hi!!!!!#back w reactz #yay

2 notes · View notes

h4kka · 5 years ago

Text

so i showed an irl friend the og 12 hypmic boys and he decided to roast all of them

ichiro: claimed that he looks like an elliot. roasted his hair by claiming it was a mullet and called him emo

jiro: he roasted the HELL out of jiro and called him “ash ketchum-lookin ass”. from his “mullet” to his “offbrand yankees cap”, he looked like a rich white boy.

saburo: "what the fuck is that yellow jacket. why is it designed to show off his crop top!!! this isnt 2012!!!!”

samatoki: “give that shirt back to guy fieri”

jyuto: “while you were having pre-marital sex, i studied the blade”

riou: “why is the man giving ‘fuck me’ eyes!!! you do NOT do that pose unless you standin in the bedroom door waitin to get slammed.” in other words, he called riou a bottom (and a twink)

ramuda: “lol he looks 15 not 24″

gentaro: “why my man holdin a book open while lookin at you!!! that’s illogical!!!!”

dice: he went OFF on dice. from his hair, to his jacket (“offbrand overhaul lookin ass”), to his hair accessory, to his boombox, to his pants and his three belts.

jakurai: “this man got hair down to at least his ass. this is not okay. he got egirl bangs too”

hifumi: "offbrand aoyama.”

doppo: he called doppo a bottom and called his hair greasy

he came to the conclusion that all of the boys were gay and honestly?? hes not wrong

#hypmic #ichiro yamada #jiro yamada #saburo yamada #samatoki aohitsugi #jyuto iruma #riou mason busujima #ramuda amemura #gentaro yumeno #dice arisugawa #jakurai jinguji #hifumi izanami #doppo kannonzaka #shut up maggie

48 notes · View notes

sporkkles-irl · 5 years ago

Text

i cant fucking draw car crash’s hair

hand me a gio i can do that no prob

but cc?

what is your hair mullet lookin ass

FTUYIGFHJGJ-

#sporks says shit

19 notes · View notes

dramaticalcorgi · 6 years ago

Text

marK WHAT THE UFCK IS THAT

yOU MULLET LOOKIN ASS

LONG HAIR ASS

#dont get me wrong i actually love it

644 notes · View notes

softshelltaakos · 6 years ago

Text

what’s up everybody! it’s time for part 2 of my taz graphic novel review.

part one covered (most of) my beef with the writing and storytelling choices. this part is gonna cover character designs!!! you should know going into this that my opinions are not positive. this post is also a lot less analytical in tone than part 1, because art is not my forte.

disclaimer: i love the mcelroys. i truly do. taz has gotten me through some very difficult stuff and i have a tattoo. all this to say i’m not doing this because i hate them or because i like hating things. if you feel the need to message me about how i am overreacting, specifically to green taako, or about how i should just calm down and ignore it, or about how it’s sad that i’m getting so worked up instead of just enjoying the show, i’ve heard it and i don’t care. you will not be taken seriously. save yourself the energy.

there are spoilers for the graphic novel under the cut.

alright. i’m getting the elephant in the room out of the way first because it’s the most important thing to address, and once it’s out of my system i’ll feel better goofing on the rest of the designs. as i mentioned in the disclaimer: Green Taako Is Bad.

[ID: a panel focusing on taako. he’s skinny and minty green with chin-length light blonde hair and a big, pointy nose.]

now, a lot of people have made posts about this before, and i’m not saying anything new about it by any means. i’m also not the most equipped person to talk about why green taako is bad, because i’m a white gentile (i’ve heard conflicting opinions on whether or not green taako is antisemitic, but it feels remiss not to mention that there’s been discussion) and therefore not part of any groups affected by this whole debacle, but in short: when pressed for more diversity, specifically in taako’s case as a pretty large chunk of his arc involves literally inventing a mexican cultural food (fun note: that’s never mentioned in this book,) carey pietsch decided he should be green and the mcelroys were down with it. this is not an issue that cropped up when this design was released; it was something that there was already a ton of discourse surrounding, and it should never have gotten concepts drawn, let alone made it to publish.

this article by natt cuesta has been linked before on the subject, and i think it’s a good, concise explanation of why green taako is bad as well as why aracial characters in general are bad. this is a racist design.

now that we’ve gotten those ethical ramifications out of the way... i’m sorry, but it’s an ugly design, lmao. he looks like a palette-swapped version of pearl from steven universe with less character. the ONLY thing about this design that i like is the prominent lower lashes, if only because they’re the only thing that keeps him from looking entirely generic. because, like, y’all, when has anything about taako been generic?

[ID: a panel focusing on magnus. he’s a muscular fair-skinned man with auburn hair, a bushy beard, and a scar over his left eye.]

generic is a word that’s going to come up a lot over the course of this review, because i genuinely can’t think of a more apt descriptor for pietsch’s designs. it feels like she went with the lowest common denominator of every character’s design, a synthesis of all of the most popular (and most boring) ones, except in instances where that would lend any personality to a character’s design. magnus fits what brief description we’re given in the podcast: auburn hair. beard. big. and i guess that’s all you need?

i understand that by appealing to the most common and basic designs for these characters you’re inviting a lot less ire than you might by going with something more individual, so i get the motivation behind it -- or i would, if her designs hadn’t always been about this dull. but it’s bizarre to me that in a story as unique as the balance campaign, we ended up with the most basic ass Fantasy Hero lookin’ dude in the world as one of our protagonists.

i just really don’t have a lot to say about this. i’m just bored by it.

[ID: a panel of merle. he has medium-dark skin with a smooth white bun and beard.]

merle is simultaneously the design i like most out of the boys and the one that throws me the most, because i feel like he’s the most out on a limb one. which... oof. most merle designs i see give him a floral motif (i guess he has a few petals in his hair, maybe?) and big coke-bottle glasses, and i miss those things with this design, but at least it doesn’t totally feel like pietsch threw every merle she could get her hands on into a blender and poured it out on a page, although honestly, that might have been more satisfying. people do some really fun shit with their merle designs, but again, he’s. generic.

as the cuesta article mentions, with how much of an issue it was to get any of the boys to be poc in the first place and in conjunction with minty up there, this design also feels like tokenism -- an appeasement rather than an honest attempt at diversity or god forbid because the artist actually headcanons merle as a person of color. personally, i wish that she’d gone a step beyond re-coloring his skin and idk given him a natural hairstyle or something. he still feels very much like a recolor to me rather than a character who was designed as a person of color from the beginning.

i feel like he looks more like a cleric than he looks like a merle, which i feel like is pretty contradictory to who merle is.

[ID: a cutaway showing griffin, a white man with brown hair and glasses wearing a collared shirt.]

i’ve said before that it feels a little odd to talk about her design of a real person, so i’ll keep this brief, but... you know how every drawing of a basic white dude looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how that one arthur character looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how everyone is constantly messaging mysillycomics about how her avatar looks like griffin mcelroy?

how did carey pietsch manage to actively attempt to draw griffin mcelroy and miss the mark? it boggles the mind. he doesn’t not look like griffin, i guess, but he doesn’t look like griffin, either. i don’t know, man

[ID: a generic gerblin. he has yellowy-green skin, slight tusks or fangs, and weird, nubby little horn-type things.]

i hate these gerblins. they are ugly. next

[ID: two images of klaarg/g’nash. he’s a bugbear with brown fur and yellow eyes as well as a mouth full of pointy teeth. in the first image he looks pissed off; in the second he’s starry-eyed and delighted.]

klaarg is probably my favorite design in the book, and that’s just because he looks like a cute dog for most of the time he’s on the page. he’s fluffy and i love klaarg anyway, so like. did not take a lot to reach this mark. especially considering how i feel about most of the other designs lmfao

i do definitely think he keeps up the trend of looking generic, though.

[ID: an image of barry bluejeans. he looks like tom arnold, kind of; he’s square-jawed and white with thick-rimmed glasses. he also has a light brown mullet.]

i hate this. i hate the mullet. i’m sorry, y’all, i really, truly, cannot stand the mullet. i don’t feel like barry has mullet energy. i feel like it’s too powerful a move for him. it wouldn’t be a good move, mind you, but it would be a big one. i don’t know y’all it’s just bad

[ID: an image of killian. she’s a green-skinned orc woman with prominent eyelashes, eyebrows, and tusks, and straight brown hair.]

i can’t have been the only one who was hoping for a badass, visibly muscular, maybe even butch killian design, right? that wasn’t just me being a big old lesbian, that’s a pretty common theme of killian designs? i guess kudos for going out on a limb again, but then, like, take the kudos back for going out on the most boring limb possible again. i could hang with the face if her hair wasn’t so boring, but it’s... it’s so boring

[ID: an image of magic brian. he’s a drow with long white hair and an oblong face and oddly shaped nose.]

for how many of her designs are syntheses of popular ones, i..... don’t understand how this happened. i don’t understand how whimiscal and flamboyant magic brian who’s often drawn as taako-but-a-goth-dark-elf ended up looking like this. he looks like he used to play football and got his nose busted up and peaked in fantasy high school. he looks like the first quarter of a monster factory video where the thing’s just ugly but doesn’t have a personality or any endearing traits yet. he didn’t have to be the goth twink we all know he is but what.......... is this

[ID: an image of gundren rockseeker/bogard. he’s a light-skinned dwarf with dark long hair and a matching beard.]

..........listen i know they’re cousins and distant cousins at that but all of merle’s cousins are light-skinned and, like, not to say that that can’t happen but having them be anywhere near merle’s skin tone would’ve been such an easy way to help bolster the obviously inaccurate idea that this is a work concerned with diverse character designs, or rather to help ppl claim it was being bolstered, and yet

[ID: avi, a fair-skinned man with long dark hair kept up in a ponytail and slight scruff on his face.]

i feel like maybe avi is intended to be east asian so i think at this point that brings the count up to a whole two characters of color. we’re almost done with the book. cool. he’s cute, i guess, but guess what word i’m about to say again (it’s generic)

[ID: a panel of several unnamed cameo characters. from right to left: carey fangbattle, a light blue dragonborn; brad bradson, a green orc man with a long brown ponytail; and presumably lucas miller, a tan human with glasses and dark hair.]

ok. deep breaths.

first off, there’s another panel w these three as well as boyland, who looks fine, but i didn’t grab that one bc it’s harder to make out detail. carey is cute. brad is fine.

i assume the third guy is lucas miller because i’m not entirely sure who else he would be, and... oof! as you may know i can’t stand lucas miller, which has nothing to do with his necromancy or nerdiness and everything to do with the various human rights violations he commits in the small time he’s got focus as well as the fact that he’s got a theoretical redemption arc that’s not actually an arc so much as us being told he’s better now. lucas is an entitled jackass who repeatedly uses other people’s bodies and minds without their consent, from the obvious offense of using the bugbears as brainwashed chore-doers (read: slaves) to the less-oft discussed dragging of noelle and others out of the astral plane into robot bodies, again to do his chores for him. because of this, it has always sat very uncomfortably with me when people make lucas a poc, because everything about him screams Shitty White Nerd Boy to me. it sits extra uncomfortably coming from carey pietsch, given how white all of her other designs are.

it’s a little hard to tell because i took all these pics with my phone camera in my room’s lighting so they’re not super high fidelity or anything, but pietsch’s lucas is noticeably darker than any other character we’ve seen so far save merle. maybe he’s just a white guy with a tan, but all the same, it strikes me as incredibly skeevy to have one of so few characters of color be this fucking guy.

[ID: johann, a black man with an oblong face and textured dark hair.]

johann’s design is fine, although this is a similar face shape to that brian from earlier and i just. i don’t. understand it. it’s not especially interesting, but hey, at least he’s not another generic white guy.

that being said, as i mentioned in part 1 of this review, johann’s role is severely cut in this -- he’s reduced to three panels, when in the show itself he’s the one who escorts the boys to the voidfish’s chamber and inoculates them. as i mentioned in that post i understand that they shifted it some to give lucretia a more prominent entrance, but as i also mentioned in that post, they should have compensated for that. three panels.

johann is not a character with a great deal of screentime as it is, but he’s a character with a major impact. he is the reason story and song happens. his song serves as a direct foil to john’s nihilistic conversion of his own home plane into the hunger. the fact that he’s been reduced to three panels with little to no characterization at this point, especially in conjunction with the fact that he’s one of very few poc, makes me really, really uncomfortable. avi is in more panels in this book than johann is, and while i love avi and as i said i am parsing him as an asian dude, he’s also still light-skinned enough and the style is nondescript enough that there are definitely people who will parse him as white, and also, avi’s role in the story is not as big as johann’s.

it doesn’t sit right with me.

[ID: an image of davenport, a fair-skinned man with a big red mustache and slicked back red hair.]

ginger davenport with a big mustache. groundbreaking.

[ID: an image of lucretia, a slender black woman with short white hair dressed in blue layers.]

and finally, lucretia. now, i’m biased, and it’s hard for me to see a lucretia design i don’t like. i also think that this is, compared to a lot of the others at least, one of the more interesting designs in the book, at least as far as her clothes go. it’s not a long robe that would be hard to move in, and i appreciate that -- it strikes me as a pretty practical outfit while also being ornamental and wizard-y. and she’s pretty, and she’s not whitewashed, and that’s all great. i like her earrings.

all that being said, i feel like it’s not enough. luc’s hair continues a theme with merle’s and johann’s (as well as the preview we’ve seen of angus,) which is that it strikes me as very low-effort on pietsch’s part. it’s short and it’s definitely not straight, but it doesn’t feel to me like it had as much thought put into it as, say, minty green taako’s hair. we could’ve had a lucretia with a big beautiful afro, or long box braids, or so many other natural hairstyles; we got this. it’s not bad, but i do think it’s disappointing. without going looking for it and without being a person who reads a great deal about character design, i’ve seen a fair amount of discussion from black women (artists, writers, and none of the above) about the portrayal of black women as it pertains to their hair. they’re never designed to be as feminine as their white counterparts. their hair is never treated with the same amount of detail or respect as their white counterparts. it’s short, maybe curly if you’re lucky.

i’m gonna circle back quickly to killian’s hair. it’s long and smooth and kept down, despite the fact that killian is an action-oriented women and might not want it to be in her face all the time -- it could have at least been braided or in a bun. it could’ve been short! and that would’ve made sense. and i don’t mean to say that lucretia couldn’t have short hair, but she’s a very elegant woman whose dress is described as intricate. she wears business regalia. she could have any number of hairstyles, from something elaborate to something simple but more out-of-the-box than this, but she doesn’t. i found this on a quick hunt through my ref tag -- it’s a tutorial for drawing black folks with just a small selection of interesting things you can do with afrotextured hair. these resources aren’t hard to find! and i’m doing this for fun -- carey pietsch is a professional artist who was paid for these designs. if she’d put in more than the bare minimum effort, we could’ve had some really interesting shit going on, but she didn’t.

and that’s the core of the issue here. i truly do not feel like pietsch put the same amount of care into the designs for the few characters of color we see as she did into the white ones, and that’s upsetting and emblematic of a larger problem in the work: neither pietsch nor the mcelroys put in very much care at all for the fans of color who spoke up and asked for representation.i know i said i was getting taako out of the way first so the majority of the post could be goof-heavy, but goddamn, y’all, it’s hard to goof about when it’s so blatantly shitty. pietsch’s designs are boring at best and racist at worst, not to mention conspicuously lacking in anyone who is not skinny, muscular, or a dwarf. people have praised this thing so uncritically, including people whose opinions i generally really respect, as if the fact that the mcelroys signing off on green taako made it above reproach.

it didn’t, by the way. there’s no such thing as an unproblematic fav, because everybody fucks something up now and then, but even then, this is a pretty egregious fuck-up! and it was willful!

i’m not saying y’all need to burn your copies of the gn or stop listening to the mcelroys entirely or anything of the sort -- you may remember the disclaimer at the top of the post where i say i really, really love them, and more specifically, i really love taz: balance. but i am BEGGING YOU to think critically about their work. good, good boys can do bad, bad things. white people can produce work that’s racist even if they’re gay women. it’s not mean to critique the boys and it’s not homophobic (or god forbid reverse racist, which is still not a real thing) to critique carey.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the real kicker of this whole thing for me is that there’s a small fanart gallery in the back of the book. most of them aren’t labeled with the artist’s handles, just their names, but there are some truly beautiful pieces featuring diverse designs -- galacticjonah and milkychai both have beautiful latino taakos featured! galacticjonah’s is fat, too! but even after the backlash against green taako, even aside from that being the design that people are going to accept as canonical, there are pieces in the gallery of green taako, as if doubling down on it was the right move.

and by the way, yeah, i’ve read griffin’s apology. but i thought we all learned in kindergarten that an apology doesn’t count if you don’t act on it.

#prim.txt #tazposting #tazmeta #taz: balance #taz balance #taz graphic novel

18 notes · View notes

dazzlingkai · 6 years ago

Note

so um ive been out of the exo loop for A LONG TIME. i come back to it.. xiumin has lost all this baby fat chubby cheeks LOOKIN LIKE A FULL ASS GROWN MAN.. makin me uncomfortable and shit.... CHENHAS A FKN MULLET????! why do most of them have haircuts that look like they picked them from fkn bad 90s anime cause tf is jongins and sehuns hair

don’t ask

#asdjhdhdhhhjjjj #welcome back tho #anonymous #ask

8 notes · View notes

likesugarandcyanide · 6 years ago

Text

Honey

AN: For the life of me I couldn’t write this in 1000 words or less. May not be the last David piece I write. The next on my to do list is a one shot for Ace Merrill; hope it doesn’t melt my brain.

“Why not ask them? They’re real cute.”

That was an understatement; they were minors. It was obvious to Mia the moment she noticed them – they had a certain inexperience in their stiff movements, like they were afraid of getting caught for staying out too late. She rolled her eyes at her new friends and spun to face them, not concerned about the people she was bumping into as she walked backwards down the boardwalk.

“Trust me, Sara. There are better fish in the sea besides those wet behind the ears brats over there.” Mia smiled. “Bet they wouldn’t even know where to stick it if ya got naked and asked them to fuck ya; no offence Andy.”

Andrew – her date – curled up his nose and flipped Mia off. His friends all teased and laughed at him until Sara brought up her hand and silenced them – the queen bee had spoken.

“What do you suggest then, Mia? We came here to party. Are you going to show us a good time, or do we need to find someone else to do it?” Again, they laughed.

Brats. Mia nearly forgot they were from out of town; students on break. She huffed a sigh of annoyance. “I suggest ya listen to me. This place is a hot spot for tourists, but it’s also pretty dangerous for those who are not from here. Ya go around lookin’ for some fun and ya might just get more than ya asked for.” Ya might just find yerself with more holes to fuck than swiss cheese. Or become the domestic bitch of a Surf Nazi and his lackeys; much to choose from ‘round here.

A variety of bizarre and irrational people inhabited the boardwalk after dark; some harmless and some that even Mia wouldn’t dare cross. She promised the college students a night to remember and she’d be damned if she went back on her word. Her dull green eyes swiftly combed through the busy crowd – her guests needed dates, yet no one really struck her fancy. No one seemed good enough.

Until he surfaced – a platinum blonde that came to the amusement park every night – sauntering from the metal bowls of the radiantly lit roundabout. He was a handsome creature, always dressed in black and always in the company of others. Mia thought he’d be fun to hang with; his friends were an active bunch. She had seen the fat security guard, Ed chase them through the park a couple times. It couldn’t hurt to ask.

“How ‘bout them? The guys near the carousel; mullet and his friends. They’re cute, right?”

Sara took a look – nice catch. “Will they bite though? Looks as though they won’t … guys like them have a certain taste.”

“They’ll bite – trust me.” Mia bobbed her head. “Look at you. Good enough to eat.” She licked her lips to emphasize her point.

The queen bee was satisfied. She sent Mia and one of her own – Lauren – to reel them in. The sassy brunette returned minutes later, dragging Lauren behind her. Sara knew the guys had agreed; both girls were bouncing in glee.

An hour later, the troupe was set up on the beach. Andrew made a fire between them with pieces of dried wood and each of them paired up, resting around the pit like a mass of witches. The loud uproar from the boardwalk was drowned out by the pleasant music playing from the ‘rock box’ laying in the white sand – Paul, the blonde with the teased hair called it that.

So far, it had been a good night.

Mia was buzzed. She took a deep swig from her beer and burst into a fit of laughter; 2nd bottle in. “Don’t tell me … I wanna try again. Almost remembered this time.” She nearly tumbled off Andrew’s lap and would have if not for the tight grip he had on her waist.

The curly haired male – Marko was his name – urged her on, rolling his wrist. He and Paul had been playing a game with her; music trivia. Mia was losing. “Ya get one more try, little sister. Get it wrong and ya have to chug the rest of yer beer.” He laughed as she whined in defeat.

“It’s Love Bites,” Andrew answered for her. “You know; Def Leppard.” Obviously she doesn’t know it. He leaned down and whispered the lyrics in her ear, inciting a shiver from her.

Paul quickly accused her of cheating; Marko agreed. “Ya have to do it. Help is against the rules, so bottoms up.”

Mia whined again. “Do I have to?” She hated the sharp taste of beer; it didn’t exactly slake her thirst, but she couldn’t exactly tell Marko no when he offered her bottle after bottle. Her eyes drifted over to David for the first time that night, blaming the bonfire for the heat she felt as he stared at her. Don’t disappoint me, she imagined him saying. Even with Sara glued to his arm, Mia felt like his attention was on her alone. She smiled and toasted him, tossing back the remainder of her drink. Some of the amber colored liquid trickled down her chin, but Andrew helped her clean it up.

“Bravo,” Marko cheered. He happily took up his date’s limp arms and like a marionette forced her to clap too. Kayla had passed out between his knees in a drunken sleep, ignorant to the world around her.

Mia laughed and faked her best bow, leaning back against Andrew’s chest. His warm scent was almost too much for her. She nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck and sighed in relief.

“Not bad, Maria. Not bad at all.” David applauded her. The entire group seemed to quieten down. He curled his lips up into a teasing grin. “Have to admit, for out-of-towners you guys have major balls to party with strangers you barely know, considering the rumors coming out of this place.”

“Rumors? You mean the whole ‘murder capital of the world’ thing?” Sasha – the girl with Paul – gave a nervous laugh. She noticed the bold declaration on her way into the city; it was brushed in all capital letters on the flip side of the ‘Welcome to Santa Carla’ sign. Welcome my ass, she remembered thinking. White hot dread burbled in the pit of her stomach, but once the beach came into view, all undesirable thoughts about the sunset colored words faded away. Sasha hadn’t really thought about them until David mentioned it – the fear began to burble in her stomach again.

“No ‘fraid not. He means monsters; things that go bump in the night.” Dwayne, the quiet one voiced.

Lauren thought he may be joking, yet his eyes held no humor in them. In fact, none of the four guys were laughing. She knotted her brows together and shot them a bemused look. “You guys are just trying to get a laugh out of us, right? Scare the out-of-towners.”

“Ignore ‘em. The natives here do this sometimes,” Mia interrupted, rolling her eyes. “They claim Santa Carla is infested with vampires. Every year people go missing and their bodies never turn up, but it’s not true. Vampires don’t exist.” She was beginning to feel uncomfortable – Andrew had tightened his grip on her waist. His skin was pebbled in goosebumps.

“But it’s true. Vampires do exist,” Marko argued. He laid his finger against the thin, pale skin beneath Kayla’s chin. The nail on his pinkie was long and looked razor-sharp in the flickering light of the bonfire. “Keep your eyes here and don’t look away.” No one expected what happened next. Marko slid his nail along the length of her neck; a wet spurt of blood spilled out and ebbed into the v cut of her blouse. Kayla didn’t even wake up. She wheezed, slumped her head, and died.

Andrew’s blood ran cold. His mind couldn’t process the facts; she’s dead. He killed her right in front of you. What will you do, Andy buddy? Panic – that’s what he did. A terrified scream tore from his throat. He nearly tossed Mia from his lap trying to fool his body into believing that he didn’t just witness his friend being wrung like a stuck pig.

The fear was infectious. Lauren lurched forward and vomited on her shoes. The queen herself was speechless; she didn’t feel the icy hands of death on her until it was too late.

“Why? God Why?” Sasha grabbed Paul by the arm; her only relief being one of the four responsible for Kayla’s death. Yet as she took a look at his face, her stomach knotted in repulsion. His lively eyes were sunken in, cheekbones high and bulging from his skin. Paul was a monster – no a vampire. Like a fish, she opened and closed her mouth, unable to form words. The vampire leapt onto her and sank its fanged teeth into the junction of her neck and shoulder. Sasha was knocked backwards onto the sand, but all she could remember before her world went black was the look of fear on Lauren’s face as Dewayne tore her head from her body. There was so much blood.

Across the fire pit Mia was in awe, bound by the limbs around her waist and the fierce yellow eyes that stalked her; David’s beautiful eyes. She noted the amount of blood trickling from his mouth – the honey bee no doubt – splashed across his human face and in his blonde hair. It brought more questions than fear; a tinge of arousal that made her nipples harden beneath her blouse. Her hand reached for him, begging silently to be touched. However, it wasn’t David that brought her to reality; it was Andrew. Her name on his lips sent a shiver through her body that felt like ice water on her skin. Mia shot him a look of shock and released the breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

“Snap out it, Mia. We have to run – don’t leave me alone – we have to get up and get out of here.” Andrew shook the tiny girl in his lap. He was thankful that her eyes had focused, staring at him instead of through him like a pane of glass. She gave a brief nod and Andrew took it as the push he needed to yank her up and go. He pulled her behind him and away from the horrifying sound of his friends being bled dry.

Andrew could see it – the boardwalk – in the distance. How far had they wondered out? It shouldn’t be this far, yet it felt like he had been running for hours. He was too sacred to look over his shoulder, afraid that he’d see the vampires closing in; his hand was still attached to Mia’s wrist. If not for the soft wheezes of exhaustion coming from her mouth, he might of thought she had already died.

“Andy … please. I can’t keep up.” Mia could hardly breathe. She struggled to keep up and missed a step, dropping into the sand with a loud oomph. The weight nearly pulled Andrew down on top of her.

He turned to her with annoyance in his eyes. Almost there … almost and you trip. Damn drunken sow. Andrew tore his hand from her like he’d been burned and thought about stomping onto her back – the same cute ass that had been in his lap earlier was sticking right up into the air. He was too afraid to make a rational thought; too scared of being torn apart that he circled around and left her. Better her than me, he thought hoping that they would be satisfied with her alone. How wrong he was – Mia sat up in anticipation.

Andrew barely made it a few feet away before David swooped down in front of him. They can fucking fly? He shrieked in horror, but found that his vocal cords weren’t generating a sound. A wet and warm liquid streamed down his shirt, almost like he’d pissed himself. However, before he understood that his neck had been tore open like a dressed pig David shoved his razor like nails into his stomach and ripped them up and through the teen’s fleshy tissue. His large intestine spilled out and hung like a length of rope from the slit in shirt. Andrew’s body doubled over and landed in the mucky red sand with a heavy thump.

Mia cried in mock fear. “Please … please don’t hurt me.” Fat, hot tears soaked her face. She was too caught up in her act to notice David narrow his eyes.

From down the beach she heard Marko laugh. He came down from the air, nearly falling on his ass – Paul and Dewayne landed next to him. “Gets better every time I hear it.”

“Ya think? The scream needs a little work, honestly.” Mia could never seem to get it right. She smiled as Dewayne dipped his head; he agreed with her.

“A little late considering he was dead before hittin’ the ground – David really did a number on ‘im – but no doubt better.” Paul helped Mia stand, avoiding a punch to his side from her. “Come on; wasn’t even the best part. Yer dolly took the cake, leavin’ ya to die. Wasn’t expecting ‘im to run off with ya though.”

Dewayne brushed his fingers through his windswept hair. “Me neither. It was split second.” He watched David nudge the body with his boot and smiled. Out of David’s control; he’s not happy.

The blonde in question moved over to them and stood in front of Mia – Paul backed out of his way. He slid a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up to meet his. The uncertainty in her pale eyes was almost cute. “What have I told you about playing with your food?”

“Sorry David,” she uttered. Mia wanted to promise him she wouldn’t do it again, but even she knew it wouldn’t be wise to lie to him. His stained thumb rubbed at her cheek; she had no doubt he was smearing blood onto her skin. It smelled delicious. “I did good, didn’t I? Tricked them into going along with us, just like you asked.”

Some habits were hard to break. For Maria it was her obedience; she was something of a pet before David turned her and even now she was expecting a beating for going against his plan. Sometimes he wondered if she liked it a little too much. He sighed and dug his nail into her bottom lip, drawing a thin line of blood. “Yes, but don’t disobey me again.”

Mia smiled. Of course, she thought. What she did was kiss the pad of his finger, sinking her mouth down on it. The metallic taste of blood flaked off onto her tongue, urging her to moan. She was right, Andrew was a good choice. Had he not been, Mia was sure Sara would have. So bitter; her blood must have tasted like honey. Her lips made a sharp pop as she moved off David’s finger.

“Was she good?” Mia was curious. Her lips pouted as he smiled – some of her blood was still around his mouth.

“I’ve had better,” he admitted. Pompous ass, Mia thought. That smirk he gave her knotted her stomach in the most wonderful way.

Mia could only think of one way to find out. She leaned forward and kissed him. A satisfied moan left her mouth as David moved against her, allowing her to taste the blood on his tongue.

Just like honey.

#lost boys #david #marko #paul #dewayne #blood #vampire #kiefer sutherland #alex winter #brooke mccarter #billy wirth #oc

7 notes · View notes

banesbottombitch · 7 years ago

Text

When You’re Strange

A Patrick Hockstetter / Reader fic

Original Link

Warnings: Violence, swearing up the ass, Tozier!Reader beating ass, Richie and Tozier!Reader’s Trashmouths. She/Her Reader.

Description: As a military brat, you’ve learned to pick up everything and run at a moments notice. Ending up back in Derry for your senior year and moving in with your aunt and uncle, you’ve come to realize that with Patrick Hockstetter’s sights on you there is no room for running.

Word Count: +4,600

Other Chapters: Part 1, Part 2

Part 3: Rebel Yell

A/N: I whipped this up pretty fast, but I’m going to take short break from WYS for work. I’ll be back in a few days though, worry not. Rebel Yell is by Billy Idol, check out the song you nerds.

“You gotta death wish, don’t you?” Richie pushed his glasses up the length of his nose, squinting at you while you worked at the straps of the blue tarp that shielded your trunk.

“What’s that thing you guys yell at Richie when he’s being a pest?” You asked Eddie, not bothering to look at either boys while you climbed into the back of your truck, tossing the tarp aside and hauling Richie’s bike to the tailgate.

“Beep Beep Richie.” They spoke in unison, your cousin rolling big brown eyes and bouncing on his heels.

“I’m just saying, threatening the Bowers Gang? Really? We all saw you doing it from the cafeteria. You’re here for like, I dunno, less than 36 hours and you’re already picking a fight with those shit lickers?” Richie continued, taking the handle bars of his bike and helping you lower it to the parking lot asphalt.

“He’s got a point.” Eddie chimed in, much to your chagrin. The freshmen shared a look between them as you hopped out the back of your truck before slamming the tailgate closed with a satisfying clap.

You leaned against it, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your windbreaker and giving them an even look.

“Listen, I’m just…” You trailed off, sighing. “I dunno, trying to get them to back off? They seem to genuinely scare you guys. I thought it would help to let them know that I’d take a bat to their heads, y’know?”

Richie threw a long leg over his bike, Eddie climbing to sit on the edge of the seat that the taller boy left him. “Just don’t get yourself killed, we can take care of ourselves.”

Wearily your cousin kicked off, pedaling slowly to round your vehicle. “I’ll see you later.”

“By Eddie!” You raised a hand still stuck in your pocket, Eddie shifting to wrap his arms around Richie’s thin torso and waving back at you. “Make him come home by eight!”

“Nine!” Richie challenged, working his legs to pedal faster and out of ear shot before you could argue. In the distance, you saw him encircle Bill and Stan as they kicked off from their bikes, Beverly riding on Mike’s handal bars and Ben chasing after the other six as he quickened his pace to follow the group out the parking lot.

You clicked your tongue, dragging your keys from your pocket and slipping into your truck. Your backpack sat in the passenger side the two boys had occupied that morning, folded in on itself and limp. You leaned over after stuffing the keys in the ignition to let the car idle, shoveling out the contents in search of the mixtape that had been gifted to you. It took a moment, but you found it, hidden under the gym uniform given to you during your fourth period P.E. class. You had put it in your pocket earlier, but changing had forced you to toss it in your backpack for safe keeping.

Again, you flipped the tape to read over the songs. Beverly had chosen the first song, a Psychedelic Furs classic, ‘Pretty In Pink’. Mike had chosen The Police’s hit ‘Message In A Bottle’, Bill had gone surprisingly wayward and picked a Depeche Mode song ‘Policy Of Truth’. Someone was going through an edgy phase, you mused, impressed nonetheless. Ben as a wildcard with his Billy Idol choice, and you smiled a little, finding that his pick of ‘Rebel Yell’ was a perfect fit for you at least.

Stan had thrown in a surprise guest, Pat Benatar’s ‘Heartbreaker’. You had always wondered what kind of taste the Uris boy had, but honestly, Pat wasn’t too much of a surprise. He seemed like the type to enjoy dramatic and passionate lyrics like those you’d find in Pat Benatar’s music. Eddie had picked a Cyndi Lauper song that held a special place in your heart, ‘The Goonies r’ Good Enough’. You still had vivid memories of watching The Goonies with the four original nerds when it came out in theaters during a small gap in summer when you had flown up to Derry for a visit. It had been easy enough to convince them to dress up with you and go adventuring with them by the barrens, and easier still to let Richie and Bill lead the way for the five of you to build a crappy little fort in the woods.

Richie’s contribution was what really made you beam though, his carefully chosen song for you was a personal favorite of yours. ‘How Soon Is Now’ by The Smiths.

You carefully switched out the tapes, retiring the other one to your wrinkled and torn up cardboard cassette box that rested in the beaten up floorboards of your cab and taking off as the slow rhythmic beats of The Psychedelic Furs filled your truck.

You carefully searched the parking lot for any sign of a blue Trans-Am, surprised not to see any edivdence of it. You shrugged off a rather nervous feeling in your gut at the observation, figuring the Bowers Gang must have snuck out of school after lunch. They didn’t exactly seem like the type to conform to the social norm and actually attend a full day of school anyhow.

The greenery in Derry was a nice change from the ever browning palm trees and sandy tropical gardens of Galveston. The skies were just as blessedly blue, streaks of cream casting cool shadows from the clouds that covered Derry on that October afternoon. It didn't reek like the ocean in the small town, it wasn’t clogged with smog, and the muggy heat of texas had thankfully not followed you north. You felt close to your element in Derry, to your great surprise. It was the right kind of environment for you, but you would admit to already missing the bustling populace of Houston or even the smaller city of Sugarland.

Rolling down your window, you left Derry High behind you, creeping down Pasture Road before turning down the Kissing Bridge to cut over to Canal Street and head back home. You neared the overpass that stood above the canal ways, but slowed with a curse when you spotted that goddamn blue Trans-Am.

It sat empty, but what worried you the most was the pile of bikes left forgotten by the roadside, completely deserted.

“Fuck.” You swore, pulling off to the side and snatching your keys out, kicking the driver side door open in a rush. You hesitated a moment in silent deliberation, eyeing a tool beneath the cassette box.

A sudden hoarse yelp of pain, one you listened to with horror when you recognized it as Richie’s, decided your actions for you. You shoved the cassette box aside, grabbing the heavy tire iron from the floorboards and jumping out the car. You flew through the underbrush by the bridge, hearing what sounded like grunts and swears- namely from the mouth of your Trashmouth cousin.

You stumbled out of the woods, finding a break in the path and crashed out in a flurry of crunched up leaves and panic, tire iron raised.

From the looks of it, you had ended up by the canalside, the rocks littered with the fighting forms of your cousins friends and four enraged, hostile and very unlucky seniors.

Eddie was out cold, face pressed into the ground, a little scratched up but seeming mostly unharmed. Stan was attempting to over power Belch’s hulking mass, who had Bill’s collar in a death grip and was smacking him around like a rag doll. Mike was taking on Patrick and Vic alongside Beverly and Ben, the latter of who was flushed in the face and positively livid. Mike’s torn lip and Beverly’s scraped knees were nothing compared to the absolute wreck that was Richie Tozier’s face however.

Glasses? Shattered. Lip? Busted, bruised and split. Richie’s nose bent at an awkward and certainly painful angle, and there was a long cut alongside his eye, as if someone had carved him with a knife or a piece of glass. That didn't stop his mouth from flapping though, and even with his cracked voice and split lip he shot zingers like the Tozier he was.

“You fucking-” He spat at Henry Bowers, who wrestled with the smaller boy and dug his back into the tough and jagged rocks of the canalside. “Bruce Springsteen lookin’ mother fucker!”

“Aw? Mad, Flamer?” Henry taunted, gritting his teeth and driving Richie harder against the stones. “Upset we knocked out your little faggy boyfriend?”

He cocked his fist back, knuckles bruised and red with Richie’s blood.

You launched into action, roaring with a feral rage and lurching off from the path, bringing your weapon down on Henry’s side with as much weight behind it as you could muster.

“FUCK-” Bowers howled, clutching his side and pushing himself off Richie, who gurgled some kind of greeting that you didn't hear, your vision going red as you knocked Henry further back with the bottom of your docs.

You raised the tire iron, eyes burning and teeth bared, bringing it down where the mullet haired boy would have been if he hadn’t scrambled back.

From your side vision you spotted Belch, who was coming at you with arms out, ready to take you down. Side stepping him, you knocked against his back using the tire iron with a positively bruising force, kicking him for good measure as well and returning your focus to Henry.

“What did I say?!” You screamed, throwing the weapon down again and again, growing more and more irritated as you missed him.

“You’re fucking crazy! Bitch!” Henry spat, pushing up from the ground and scattering pebbles in his wake.

“What did I say?!” You repeated with even more venom, Vic and Patrick hovering beside Belch, who watched your dance with Henry wearily.

“You’re dead!” Henry ignored your prompt, pointing at you and digging into his pocket, whipping out a knife.

You gripped the tire iron tighter, eyes flashing and lip curling. “I like my odds, Bowers. Do you like yours?”

Blue eyes flickered to his wounded friend and the other two who seemed content to keep out of this particular fight. “Get her, Patrick.”

“With pleasure.”

You whirled around, slashing at the lanky boy who was a safe distance from you, a wild look in your eyes. “You think I’m above kicking your ass too, Hockstetter? Don’t fuckin’ try me!”

Patrick edged around Belch, watching you carefully. “Why don’t you settle down, Princess?”

Adrenaline pounded through you, your blood a rush in your ears. You let out a growl, pointing at him with the weapon. “You wanna dance? Let’s dance, Hockstetter.”

“[First Name]!” Stan shrieked, the crunch of pebbles shifting with weight alerting you back to the threat that loomed behind.

Spinning with the weapon ready, you landed a solid blow on Henry’s shoulder, but he had used your distraction to his advantage and you felt the white hot hiss of a cut rake down your right arm. The knife sliced through your windbreaker easily, slicing your forearm good, and scarlet poured freely as Henry stumbled back, looking pained.

Panic set in now, Patrick’s presence hovering along the sidelines, a snarl at his lips and Henry raised his knife in silent challenge once more.

“One more good whack, Bowers, and you’re in the hospital.” You sneered, rolling the weapon to your other hand, knowing you’d be sloppy with the change, but still effective. You spared Patrick a glare. “And I’ll aim for your head, Hockstetter.”

“Sounds tough coming from you, Tozier.” He taunted, a bottle of hairspray shaking in his hand as he fixed on you with an eerie gaze. “I’ll melt that Trashmouth right off your pretty little face.”

You saw the kids scramble to Richie and Eddie, the Bowers Gang focused on you entirely. Belch attempted to rise, but stumbled back down in a kneel, swearing. You had gotten him good, it seemed. Vic didn't want to press the matter at hand, attempting to help his friend stand instead of facing you.

You winced, bending your wounded arm and taking your keys out of your pocket, hurling them at Beverly, who caught them with an uncertain look.

“Get in the truck, have it running. Id im not out in five, drive.” You ordered tensely, eyes flickering between Patrick and Henry, the latter of whom seemed to be having trouble standing, his breathing uneven and restless.

The freshmen swarmed the two broken boys, your cousin fighting their helping hands and calling after you. You ignored him, waiting for either of the bullies that crowded you to make their move.

“What now, boys?” You carefully stepped to the side, eyeing them as you edged back to the path that would lead you to the truck, Richie’s friends racing away with him and Eddie in tow.

A spout of fire that curled and preened shot out at you, Patrick closing in all too fast in response. You swore, not expecting him to have that much range, Henry throwing himself at you when you faced Patrick.

The two of you went flying, the cut burning as Henry shoved you to the bank, the action knocking the air out of your lungs as your back met the uneven and sharp rocks. You struggled, throwing the tire iron up to block his jabs and slashes of the knife, the edge coming dangerously close to your eyes.

“Look at you now, Trashmouth!” Patrick hooted, running up to come beside Henry.

You writhed under Henry, finding an opening and, with a valiant cry, jerked the bottom of the tire iron to strike Henry’s temple. He gave a cry of pain and ripped himself off you, roaring as he clutched his now bleeding head. You kicked yourself up, just barely breaking from Patrick’s grasp as he hurled himself after you.

Henry was down for the count, but Patrick was more than happy to pursue you through the winding and twisting limbs of the underbrush. The path was caked with wet leaves, unsteady earth and littered with specks of blood from Richie and probably Bill, but you came out the other side and skidded across the Kissing Bridge, chest heaving, victorious despite the challenge of the terrain.

Patrick was right on your tail, always inches from catching you, his eyes lit up with a gleam that horrified you to the core. He was enjoying himself as he increased his speed while you sprinted to the running truck.

“TAKE OFF THE BREAK, TAKE OFF THE BREAK!” You screamed, hearing the chaotic laughter behind you.

The gang was in the back, all shouting after you to hurry, Bill and Richie leaning heavily on each other in the trunk of the car, looking like hell had come after them and spat them back out. Beverly was at the wheel, screaming in time with the others as you threw yourself into the open trunk bed, Mike shoveling you far inside as Beverly shot off like a bullet. You all lurched forward from the force, the bikes that had been stuffed in the back rattling beside each other, and you gave a cry when you felt Patrick’s hand just barely graze your boot, your head turning as you watched him slow to a trot, giving up in his chase.

“We’ll get you later, Tozier!” He called after you, bending to catch his breath, eyes boring into you as Beverly whipped the truck down the street and carried off far from the bridge.

The truck was driven far away, weaving behind Derry through back roads that even you were unaware of. Mike carefully climbed through the open back window, directing Beverly with a calm voice, the only one of you who had the sense to keep his emotions in check.

The wind whipped at your hair, the cool air welcomed to calm the heat in your veins, to tame the fire in your belly. You were going to fucking murder Bowers, if it was the last thing you did. Carefully, you shuffled past the bikes to Richie and Bill, taking care to raise Richie’s head to inspect the damage.

“What happened?” You asked, your question falling on Stan or Ben to answer.

You glanced over your shoulder, Stan looking distraught as he watched Bill roll his head, his left eye swelling shut and jaw reddening with bruises. Bill attempted to speak, his speech slurred.

“B-b-buh-bowers,” He finally got out, heaving a sigh. “Ben. Tell h-her.”

Ben shifted, his face dirty and flushed, but seeming mostly unharmed. “Bowers caught us at Kissing Bridge. He was pissed you had tried to order him around, so he started picking on Richie… And, well, you know Eddie,” the boy nodded at Eddie, whose head rested on Stan’s lap, his breathing relaxed. There was a knot forming on his forehead, but at the very least he seemed safe enough. “He got angry that Henry was messing with Richie and he mouthed off to him, which made Henry angry, which made Richie cuss him out and, well.”

Ben sighed. “They chased us to the canal, Patrick and Henry shoved Eddie down and he was out like a light. Richie tackled Henry, Bill went for Belch when he tried to kick Richie off Henry and Patrick got on Mike. Bev and I ran to Mike after Stan ran to Bill and Vic knocked me down. You showed up after i got up and Henry started wailing on Richie.” “Fuckin… Idiot.” Richie spat, breathing heavily as Beverly finally slowed the car, pulling the parking brake as she came up beside a pasture and climbing out, panic fresh on her features.

“You’re the idiot!” She yelled, a wetness in her eyes as she crawled into the truck bed, reaching for Eddie and cradling his face in her hands. “Eddie, Eds?”

The boy gave a sharp inhale, hazel eyes fluttering open as he flinched awake. “What-” He sat up, swaying only slightly as Mike took the wheel. “What the fuck happened, OH MY GOD, RICHIE!”

“Where do we go?” He asked, looking over his shoulder, worried gaze resting on Richie and Bill.

“R-r-ree-rich- FUCK,” Bill cursed, angirly stirring in his spot. “Richie’s!”

His eyes hardened, furious with either himself or his predicament, you weren't sure. Mike looked to you for an okay and you wearily crawled from the back to the inside of the cab, letting out a soft moan of pain as you overworked your wounded arm.

Eddie took your spot beside Richie, eyes pricking with tears as he practically hyperventilated. He was speaking a mile a minute and you didn't take the time to decipher it as Mike began to drive forward, heading down the road to make it back to town.

“Eds.” Richie croaked between heavy breaths, Eddie continuing on some kind of rant about broken noses. “Eds.”

Beverly gingerly looked over Bill’s face, Stan hovering at her side and looking forlorn as they bounced in the back from the dents and potholes of the roads. Gravel kicked underneath the truck, crunching loudly as Mike led everyone past farmlands.

“Eds.” Richie said firmly, reaching out and catching a panicky hand of Eddie’s, folding his fingers together with the smaller boys and arching in to a sore stretch. “Stop, i’m begging you.”

Finally, Eddie silenced himself. A loud sniffle could be heard as he shuffled closer to Richie, forcing your cousin to lean himself on him. “You’re a fucking idiot. Idiot.”

“Nice.” Richie mused with a broken laugh, coughing and groaning. “This is all your fault, [First Name]. Just sayin’. If I die, make sure they bury me in a coffin without nails so I can pass over to the promise land and let god know how much of an ass you are.”

“Considering you want ‘Highway To hell’ played after your hespied, you turd, I don’t think you’re making it to the otherside.” You snapped, sliding off your jacket and eyeing the nasty cut, courtesy of Henry Bowers. “I was just trying to help.”

Richie scoffed, but you decided against fighting further, it did you no favors. Maybe Richie was right. You had been too aggressive, way too damn fast. The Bowers Gang meant business, it appeared. Something told you that if Patrick had caught you at the bridge that you’d have been dead meat, no holds barred. Just threatening those boys had landed you in a heap of shit, and, like Richie had pointed out, you had barely been in town for two days.

Mike watched you from the corner of his eye, and you sighed heavily, closing the window to the back and scrunching up your face in distaste.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” You asked him, already gathering that he was the wisest of the group, the most grown up and least opinionated.

Mike shrugged his shoulders. “You Toziers are good at two things; talking smack and causing problems… But at least you were trying to do right by us.” He smiled a little, rubbing at this split lip. “Even if it did get us a little roughed up. It shows you care.”

“Richies beat bad, Bill’s going to be swollen up and colored purple.” You said regretfully. “Eddie was out for longer than five minutes, and you’ve got a busted lip. I did a swell job trying to do right by you guys, huh?”

“You’re hurt too.” Mike pointed out softly, turning down a rural road. “Bowers cut you up pretty bad.”

“I’m fine. I’m more worried about you guys.” You said honestly, peeking back at the others in the back, all of whom who were huddled together in a tight circle. The breeze ruffled curls and upset need styles, but at least all of them had tired smiles. They looked valiant, proud to have escaped with a few scrapes and their lives.

“Toziers.” Mike murmured, shaking his head and giving a defeated sigh. “You need to watch it around Bowers, I’m just warning you.”

“I can handle myself.” You defended lightly.

“I saw. But if Patrick had jumped in, I’m sure you wouldn’t currently be in this car.” He said, attempting to resonate with you. “You took that tire iron to Henry Bowers pretty hard core, sure, but he isn't the only member of the gang, [First Name].”

You clicked your tongue. “I’d take him on again if I could, Mike.”

“I know.” He agreed, eyes dancing with amusement.

You were quiet for a while, letting the scenery pass by before suddenly you sat up, blinking in surprise.

“WAIT? CAN YOU EVEN LEGALLY DRIVE?”

Underneath the blood that caked Richie’s face was a simple broken nose and torn lip, nothing too major despite what it had seemed earlier. You and Richie was miraculously able to convince your aunt that he had simply fallen off his bike and roughed himself up slamming into a pole. Your cousin had an endless supply of glasses, so it was an easy fix as far as the two of you were concerned, and Bill’s eye lessened in its swelling after he applied an ice pack and Eddie tended to his cuts. Mike said his lip was nothing to worry about and Ben put countless band aids on Beverly’s knees, the tenderness evident behind his sweet smile and Beverly’s warm gaze. Eddie’s bump had receded considerably and was barely there now, but he had kept ice on it for a while just to be safe.

It took the combined power of Stan, Bill, Mike and Beverly to hold you still so Eddie could patch up your arm. You thrashed around, having preferred to just rinse it off and tape the wound up in a classic Tozier fashion, but Kaspbrak nagged the shit out of you before he ordered the attack on you to be made.

Richie was too doped up on the pain medication that Eddie stole from his cabinets to bring to your house for his emergency aid, so the bespectacled nerd could only let out a few slurred “Suck the wound ”’s before he seemingly passed out on the couch in the Tozier home’s basement.

“Hold her still, come on.” Eddie snapped, a cotton ball of peroxide in between his careful fingers as he applied the antiseptic to your gash.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow-” You whined, wiggling around despite the combined weight that kept you seated in the office chair stolen from your uncles computer room.

“Is she going to need stitches?” Stan questioned, much to your added distress.

“No, she isn't. It's just a flesh wound.” Eddie assured everyone, Ben letting out a thankful sigh in place of yourself.

Richie gave a sleepy chuckle, rolling on the couch. “Flesh wound…” He was promptly ignored.

“Calm down, you’re alright.” Beverly shushed, smiling down at you. You flinched as Eddie patted your cut dry, pressing gauze against it before begining to wrap your arm tightly with bandages.

“Thanks mom.” You snarked, wincing at the pressure applied, but calming down nonetheless.

Eddie stepped back, sighing. “Done.”

All four teens released you, and you shot up, heading to the couch to sit with your cousin, licking your wounds per say.

The others mingled for a while before leaving, everyone thankfully not as roughed up as before and wearing smiles. You waved them all out the basement entrance before going back to Richie, slinging the battered (and drugged out) boy’s arm over your shoulder.

“Come on champ.” You encouraged, heading upstairs. Shutting the door to the basement behind you and maneuvering to the second story, pausing at the base of the staircase to bid your aunt and uncle good night.

"We're heading to bed. Love you guys."

They didn't bother to turn from the television, leftovers from the night before in their laps and eyes glued to the news.

“Assholes. They don’t even care...” Richie muttered lowly, but you shushed him softly, leading the boy one step at a time to the second story hall, where you dragged him to his bedroom.

Richie swayed as you reached to turn on his light, taking the boy to his bed and gently settling him a top the covers.

“[First Name]?” He slurred your name adorably, barely keeping onto his consciousness. You hummed in response, undoing his laces and setting his shoes on the floor beside his twin bed. He squirmed in the Star Wars covers, slipping his glasses off and dropping them on the nightstand.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Richie whispered hoarsely, scratching at the tape stuck to his nose from Eddie’s handiwork. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Bucky Beaver.” You felt your heart melt and expression soften. He watched you with his big brown eyes, looking dead tired and bruised. He was still in his clothes from earlier and you sighed, knowing what you had to do. Walking to his dresser you grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a shirt from the drawers before returning to his side, shifting the dirtied jeans off his legs.

He let you do the deed, complaining only when you jerked the jeans too roughly off his ankles and drawing his pajama pants over bare legs. The change into his shirt was easier, and once that was over with and you had combed any mud that was left in his hair out, you straightened and threw his comforter over top his aching form.

“Love you, bud.” You said, stepping away from his bedside.

“Love you too.” He murmured, eyes fluttering in attempt to stay awake. “Thanks for beating up Bowers with a crowbar for me.”

“Tire iron.” You corrected with a chuckle, heading to the door. “You’re welcome, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Do we get up at six again?”

“No, we get up at six forty-five. You get to sleep in.” You walked to the door, turning off the light. Lost in his delirium, and maybe from the light headedness of his pain killers, Richie gave a quiet cheer.

“Yay.”

268 notes · View notes