#Mount Royal Hotel

[science70]

British model Jackie Perrin demonstrates the DatagraphiX Model 4200 on-line microfilmer, Mount Royal Hotel, London, 7 September 1971.

Photography: Mike Lawn

[postcard-from-the-past]

Mount Royal Hotel in Banff, Alberta, Canada

Canadian vintage postcard

[imaginespazzi]

Part 5: One Perfect Day

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6 - Part 7

Let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were)

(In which a procrastinating writer procrastinates giving her ship happiness)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Some Fluff

Words: 7.5K

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. As many of you have reminded me it is indeed Friday and so here we are, nobody needs to yell at me! I know I'm years too late with this but I hope y'all like it anyways, even though this is very much mainly hurt with very little comfort. But for things to get better, they have to get worse and remember, it's all for the plot! There's plenty of creative liberty taken this chapter with how hotels and post-championship celebrations work and other logistics but I wrote it how I needed to so just go with it. Did I edit? Yes. Are there typos and errors anyway? Probably. As always, tell me what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful weekend lovelies!!

March 2019 

The final buzzer echoes through the Williams Arena, and the disappointment of the last couple of years is finally drowned out as the Hopkins Royals win the state championship. Surrounded by the cheers of her teammates, Paige doesn’t know if she’d call this the happiest moment of her life, the stomach flu symptoms haven’t quite faded yet, but she knows it’s definitely on her mount rushmore of times when life was great. 

For a second, as she’d been crouched over the toilet with Azzi’s hands soothingly rubbing her back, feeling her soul leave with the remnants of last night's dinner, Paige had almost lost hope. But she’d never been taught to give up without a fight. And so it hadn’t mattered that she definitely looked a little green or that standing up was taking twice the energy it normally did, Paige was going to play today. It hadn’t been a flashy scoring night but she’d done everything else her team needed. And as that lead had built and built and built, Paige knew, the moment was still hers. 

“Paigeyyyyy,” Drew is the first one to find her after her and her teammates break apart, launching his tiny body into her legs, “you won!”

Paige laughs, lifting her brother into her arms and spinning him around, “I told you I was gonna didn’t I?”

One by one, her whole family, the epitome of a modern family, pull her into hugs and then they gather into one large group hug, with Paige at the centre of it all. Her siblings look at her with pure admiration while her parent’s eyes are filled with pride. And it fulfils that part of Paige that has always lived a little more for her family than for herself. 

As her family moves away slowly, Paige finds herself face to face with Azzi’s shining smile and her heart skips a beat. And she doesn’t really know when it started or even how really, but it gets a little more difficult every time she sees Azzi, for Paige to convince herself that that fluttering in her chest is nothing. 

“You look a little pale white girl,” Azzi teases, taking a couple of steps towards the blonde, “glad you didn’t vomit all over the floor.”

“Nah no bullshit flu is stopping Paige Bueckers. The flu is scared of me,” Paige juts out her chest with a smirk, earning her a patented eye roll from the younger girl. 

“Oh yeah, you’re real scary,” Azzi indulges before pulling Paige into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m proud of you P.”

Paige smiles into the crook of Azzi’s neck, basking in the glow of the compliment. It’s these little moments they have in between their constant banter, where they let themselves be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, that makes them Paige and Azzi. They pull away, still grinning. and Paige’s eyes roam over the Team Paige jersey framing Azzi’s body. It makes her feel some type of way to see the younger girl wearing her name across her chest, but it’s not a feeling Paige is quite ready to accept. Perhaps it’s been written in their destiny that someday things will change, that eventually they’ll both have to confront the something more that’s simmering underneath it all, but for now, Paige just wants to protect what they already have. 

“That’s a pretty jersey,” she says with a wink, fingers rushing over the soft material. 

“I was forced at gunpoint to wear it,” Azzi sighs dramatically, “I was actually cheering for Stillwater. Their pg’s kinda cute.”

Paige bristles at the comment, the queasiness from this morning returning with vengeance, “she’s mid as hell on and off the court.”

“Don’t be petty Paige. You think she’d let me wear her jersey instead?” 

“You know what,” Paige fights a losing battle with the quick surge of anger that’s taking birth in her stomach, “how about you take off my winner’s jersey and go to the loser’s locker room and beg for her jersey instead.”

She knows Azzi’s joking, knows the point guard on the other team isn’t even really Azzi’s type, knows that even if Azzi’s being serious, Paige doesn’t have a right to feel this way. But that green eyed monster is clawing at her heart, squeezing it and making it hard to breathe. 

“Oh- hey hey hey,” Azzi’s quick to grab at her when Paige tries to storm off, “chill dude. You know I’m just kidding.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” Paige pouts, aware that she’s being unnecessarily childish. 

Azzi opens her mouth, about to make some smartass quip but there must be something about how genuinely frustrated Paige looks that softens her expression, “I came to watch you P. I have no idea what that other girl was doing. I was cheering for you the whole time.”

“You’re so sappy,” Paige snorts, throwing a handful of confetti at Azzi, but inside, the ice cold jealousy melts into something warm and lovely, spreading through her heart into her veins. 

“Can’t even say nice shit without you being a dick about it,” Azzi rolls her eyes, as she links her arms through Paige’s,  “now come on, let’s go celebrate you.”

***

It’s almost 2 a.m. when Paige’s teammates finally begin to filter out of her house, leaving with droopy eyes and tired smiles. She and Azzi stand in the doorway, waving goodbye to every last one of them and it feels a little domestic, like a couple after a dinner party. Paige shakes that thought away the minute it begins to form, forcing herself to ignore the burst of wouldn’t that be lovely that blooms in her chest.

“What if I just fell asleep here?” Paige sags against the doorframe. 

“You’d probably fall flat on your face and I’d get an epic video of it.”

“You’re so fucking mean to me.”

“Oh yeah right because you’re so nice to me.”

“Am to,” Paige retorts, before she makes grabby hands towards Azzi, “carry me?”

Azzi swats her hands away, “Absolutely not lazy, it’s one flight of stairs.”

“That’s like 20 steps,” Paige whines. To be honest, she’s not that tired. Out of the two of them, she’s probably closer to being a night owl. But Paige is nothing if not a little bit of nuisance, especially when it comes to Azzi. 

“Are you an athlete or not,” Azzi chides, rolling her eyes. 

“Bro I just won a championship AND I had the flu. And you won’t even carry me? What kind of best friend are you?”

“Paige.”

“Azziiiiii.”

“Paige I’m tired.”

“Pleeeeeaseeee.”

The younger girl sighs, a sign of her caving in, before turning around so her back is facing Paige's front, “fine, get on you big baby.”

“YES-”

“Dude shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up,” Azzi groans, always the responsible one. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Paige whispers as she jumps onto Azzi’s back, the force of it causing the brunette to take a couple steps forward, “fucking hell Azzi don’t drop me.”

Azzi lets out an indignant squawk, as she regains her balance,  “with that attitude, I should drop you.”

“If you’re too weak to carry me, just say that,” Paige teases, wrapping her legs firmly around Azzi’s torso.  She buries her shit-eating grin in her best friend’s neck, as she loops her arms around Azzi’s shoulders.

“It is not my fault you’ve put on like a hundred pounds since I last saw you.”

Azzi squeals when Paige pinches at her ribcage and the blonde immediately slaps a hand on her best friend’s mouth, “what happened to being quiet? Now, onwards horsey- OW! Did you just fucking bite my hand!?”

“What happened to being quiet?” Azzi mocks, adjusting Paige’s weight on her back as she begins to walk towards the staircase, grumbling something under her breath about ‘ungrateful best friends’ but Paige knows she doesn’t mean a word of it. She snuggles further into Azzi’s neck, letting herself breathe in the scent of the younger girl. 

When Azzi had first left Minnesota, after they’d spent every second since the plane ride back from Argentina, Paige had thought that that hollowness in her chest was temporary, that it would fade once she got back into daily life. It didn’t. And the thing is the word miss had existed in Paige’s dictionary before too but she doesn’t think she really understood what it meant til she started to miss Azzi. 

As soon as they reach Paige’s bedroom, Azzi’s already swatting Paige off her back. The blonde falls back onto the pillows on her bed with a content sigh, watching with a cheeky grin as Azzi pretends to stretch out the muscles on her back and her arms.

“I think that might have broke my fucking back,” the younger girl groan, face scrunching up in mock exhaustion, “and I have to sit on a plane again tomorrow.”

That wipes the smile straight off Paige's face. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment with Azzi, so easy to forget that they spend less time together than they do apart. They haven’t bothered with the actual lights but even in the dim glow of the moon through Paige’s windows, Azzi sees her best friend’s change in expression clearly, her own face becoming melancholic. Sighing, she climbs onto the bed herself and lies down next to Paige, intertwining her hands with the older girl’s. 

“You could stay a little longer,” Paige says after a moment, eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling. 

Azzi let out a wistful sigh, “I wish. But you know I can’t.”

“You can, you just won’t, little miss goody-two-shoes,” the light-hearted teasing eases some of the mood as they both let out soft giggles. They dissolve into a comfortable silence before, “I can’t wait til we’re playing for UConn together.”

Paige misses the way Azzi stiffens a little next to her, too enthralled with imagining a future where she and her best friend could conquer the world together. She knows Azzi, with all her indecisive tendencies, hasn’t quite come around to being anywhere near ready to pick a college team yet but Paige still has time to convince her and Paige Bueckers is nothing if not persuasive. 

“So it’s definitely UConn then?” 

“Yeah. I mean it’s UConn dude. The UConn. They’re the best. All these other programs are nice but when UConn calls, you don’t say no to that shit,” and Paige means that with all her heart. As the number one recruit in her class, there had been no shortage of offers and of course Paige had entertained them for a little while. But the minute Geno Auriemma had given his offer, everything else had become obsolete. She hadn’t committed yet, still maintaining a façade of being in the decision stage, but all of that was just a front. Paige knows she’s meant to be a UConn husky, there’s no way around it. 

“I think you’ll make a pretty damn good Husky,” Azzi says with a soft smile, as she absentmindedly plays with Paige’s fingers. 

“We’ll make damn good Huskies,” Paige affirms. 

“I don’t know P, California’s pretty tempting,” it’s said teasingly but a hint of seriousness slips through the cracks anyway. 

Paige scoffs, “cause it’s hot? Bruh that much heat would be boring. Connecticut gets all four seasons. We’d get the heat and the snow.”

“I get all of that in Virginia already,” Azzi points out with a huff, “maybe I want something different.”

“You do get something different. You get to play with me. That’s different.”

“Yeah but-”

“Dude why are you fighting me on this? Do you not want to be on the same team as me or something?” Paige asks agitatedly, suddenly feeling frustrated with the turn the conversation had taken. 

“Okay breathe,” Azzi gives her a stern side-eye, “I was just saying California’s nice. Of course I want to be on your team. Did the shirt not make that obvious?”

Involuntarily, Paige has to smile at the memory of Azzi’s jersey, the team Paige that had been loudly imprinted across her chest, “right, sorry got a little carried away. I just always want you on my team, you know?”

“I’m always on Team Paige. I always have been. I always will be,” Azzi says firmly, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world.  

When Paige turns her head to look at her best friend, the younger girl is already looking back at her and the sincerity in Azzi’s eyes makes Paige’s heart stutter. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige swears she can see every little detail in the dim light. And the thing is Paige has always known Azzi’s a pretty girl, she’s not blind. But it’s different tonight. Tonight Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that Paige wants to memorise until it’s imprinted in the back of her eyelids, the kind of beautiful that she wants to lock away in a treasure chest and preserve only for her own eyes to ever see again. The kind of beautiful that Paige knows she isn’t allowed to think of Azzi as. But still, right now, Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that makes Paige want to try and see if maybe, just maybe, there’s the possibility for something more. 

That night, when she finally falls asleep to the sound of her best friend’s quiet breathing, Paige dreams of UConn and championships and at the end of it all, kissing Azzi under the confetti. 

***

April 2024

There’s 14 seconds left in the National Championship game and UConn is ahead by eight points. Adrenaline courses through Paige’s veins as that one elusive dream of hers seems to finally be coming closer and closer to fruition. Winning a National Championship had been on her mind since she’d first picked up a basketball. The minute she’d committed to UConn, it had felt inevitable and yet year after year, her team had fallen just a little short. But this afternoon, it seems like it’s finally within grasp. 14 seconds to go. 14 steps closer to having her perfect moment. 

Except, every time Paige had imagined this moment, she’d expected her best friend to be there. In the beginning, before everything, she’d dreamed of them being on the court together, running into each other’s arms the minute the buzzer sounded. And then, until the last second today before she had to take the court, Paige had just assumed that when she’d look in the stands, somewhere in the crowd, there’d be the one face she wanted to see most in the world. But no matter how much she squinted, that face had been nowhere to be found and Paige had forced herself to compartmentalise her disappointment, and focus on the game. She hadn’t looked at the crowd since. 

The ball is in the other team’s hands, their point guard, diligently calling out plays before she inbounds it. Coach’s words echo in Paige’s head, try for a clean steal but don’t under any circumstances foul. Their pg inbounds the ball and the shot clock starts to count down. The ball bounces through the hands of different players on the other team but the UConn defence is stifling. Their coach is out of timeouts and it isn’t until the last millisecond that they heave up a prayer shot. And it doesn’t matter if it goes in, it’s a two point possession game, but Paige’s eyes are glued on the basketball anyways. 

The shot is an airball. The buzzer sounds through the arena. UConn wins their 12th national championship. 

For a second, everything goes silent around Paige. The normally over-excitable girl, known for her insane golden retriever energy, is perfectly still. It takes a couple more seconds for the adrenaline to hit. And then she’s screaming, pummeling her body into the rest of her teammates as the bleed blue crowd goes wild. She loses herself in the noise of her teammates cheering and the bright lights of cameras flashing nearby. They did it. And it doesn’t erase just how fucking hard the last couple of year had been, but it makes the burden significantly lighter. 

Paige rushes through the handshake line, the opposing team’s coach giving her an appreciative review of her performance before she’s recaptured into a group hug by her teammates. It’s a surreal feeling really, one that’s far better than even her most wonderful dreams. For the first time since the game began, Paige lets her gaze wander over to the family section who are all tearfully hugging, smiling at her parents and then her siblings and then- 

When her eyes meet Azzi’s, it’s like the last piece of the puzzle has finally settled into its rightful place, completing the perfect picture of Paige’s perfect moment. A #5 UConn jersey hangs loosely against Azzi’s hips as she smiles shyly at her best friend. And Paige is scared to blink, scared if she looks away, the girl in front of her will disappear. It takes everything in her to not rush into the stands, pull her best friend into her and kiss her under the confetti. 

Azzi doesn’t budge when the rest of the family and friends crew start to move towards the court. There’s too much attention, too much media, for that to be a feasible option. Paige wishes they would all just disappear, let her have her moment the exact way she’d pictured it. She thinks she’d like to fulfil that dream of hers, kiss Azzi in the confetti, twirl her around, and between it all, let the world know that she was Paige’s. 

As always, Drew is the first person to reach her. He’s a little too big for her to pick up, but she spins him around anyway. 

“You won Paigey,” her little brother squeals and he might be older now, but that innocent admiration of his older sister is as palpable as always, “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks for always believing in me, little dude,” Paige says softly, leaning her cheek against the top of Drew’s head.

Over the top of her brother's head, Paige realises with sudden panic that Azzi’s not there anymore. Dread filters into her bloodstream, the voices in her head screaming it was too good to be true. The way her body tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by her mother who’s quick to hold her. 

“She said to tell you she’d see you at the hotel later,” Amy Jo says with a knowing smile, before letting Paige’s body sag into hers. She rubs her daughter’s back as relief settles into the younger girl's features, “proud of you Paigey.”

Paige smiles into her mother’s chest. Last year had been the hardest of her life and for a while the light at the end of the tunnel had been hard to see. Today, she feels the light surrounding her, washing away all the darkness from the last few years, bathing her in the glow of happiness. 

***

“I always knew you’d look good in a UConn jersey.”

Azzi’s eyes fly open and Paige smirks, leaning her body against the wall. The last couple of hours had been a whirlwind of media, champagne and excited chatter about what the after party would be like. Paige’s focus had been on celebrating, but the thought of getting back to Azzi had been a constantly lingering presence in the back of her mind. And as the bus had gotten closer to the hotel, anxiety had creeped in because what if Azzi wasn’t there? What if she’d changed her mind? 

Paige had smiled for the fans outside the hotel, diligently posing for pictures and signing autographs, ignoring the heaviness in heart. But as soon as she was far away from prying eyes, she was bolting towards her room. And then everything was okay. Paige has heard a lot of cliché things about love, about how it makes you hear violins and see stars and all of that, about how it increases your heart rate and makes you flush. But Paige thinks all of that can’t quite be right. Because when she’d seen Azzi, curled up in her sheets, #5 jersey crumpled but still fitted around her body, Paige had only felt a sense of calm. And that Paige thinks, is probably the actual truth of love, it’s about finding peace and to Paige, Azzi has always been her peace. 

“I’d look great in any jersey,” Azzi claps back groggily, moving to sit up. 

“But you look the best in mine. You always have,” Paige tries to keep her voice teasing, but it comes out sounding rather wistful, and the next words are even softer, “you came.”

Azzi bites her lips, looking down at her fiddling thumbs, “you asked me to.”

Those four little words carve themselves into a little crevice in Paige’s heart as if they’ll stay there forever, as if they’ll echo through her entire body for the rest of time. She practically throws herself onto the younger girl, the force of it pushing Azzi back down into the pillows, as she buries her head in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Their legs slot together of their own accord and it’s a little bit like they’re trying to meld into each other’s skin the way they press themselves as close as possible, til there’s barely space for air in between them. They lie like that for god knows how long; it goes by in a rush and yet ever so slowly. 

“I’m really fucking happy you’re here,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s skin, “really fucking happy.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, humming into Paige’s hair as she tightens her grip on the blonde’s waist but Paige can tell by the way she stiffens underneath her, that Azzi’s holding herself back from something. Her heart hammers in her chest as she lifts her face from Azzi’s neck to inspect the younger girl’s face. 

“What aren’t you saying to me Az?” she whispers quietly with a sinking feeling.

“Paige,” Azzi closes her eyes. And just that is enough for Paige to understand exactly what’s going through her best friend’s head and suddenly she wishes she’d never asked, just let them have this moment. 

“Never mind, I don't want to hear it.”

“That’s not how that works. I- I wanted to wait a little but we- we need to talk.”

“No we don’t,” Paige retorts stubbornly, fighting the tears threatening to spill, “I don’t want to.”

“Paige-”

The girl in question pushes herself off of Azzi, rising to sit on her knees, “this is meant to be the best day of my life Azzi.”

“I know- I’m sorr-”

“What game are you playing, Azzi? Why even fucking come if you were never gonna stay?” Paige spits out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” Azzi says softly, as she sits up “maybe- maybe I should have stayed away. But it’s you Paige, it’s you and I- I’ve never been that good at staying away from you. And maybe I’m just really selfish but I- I told you once that I wanted to be there when your dreams came true and so- here I am.”

They’d barely known each other when Azzi had said that, when they had just been young innocent girls with a tentative friendship, lying in the grass and sharing their dreams. Back then, the words had thrown Paige off. She hadn’t quite understood why they had meant that much to her, why they had filled her with more warmth than the sun shining above them. But she’d tucked them away in a little corner of her heart hoping she’d understand it better when she was older. She’s older now and she understands. Except every single emotion she’d felt at fifteen is heightened with the realisation that the words had meant something to Azzi too. And-

Paige surges forward to kiss Azzi. She’s pretty sure this bipolar act of theirs will be the death of them someday but it’s the only thing in the moment that makes sense. Azzi is hesitant at first, clearly too in her head, always the overthinker, but she gives in when Paige squeezes at her waist. It’s not as if they’ve kissed that many times before but it feels familiar, a little bit like coming home. She moves to straddle Azzi’s hips and they can’t get any closer really with every bit of their bodies pressed together now, but Paige tries anyways, tries to etch please don’t leave me into the other girl’s skin. And she isn’t sure if the salt she can taste is from the tears steadily streaming from Azzi’s eyes or the ones free-falling from her own. 

The minute Azzi pulls away, Paige misses her. 

“We can’t-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Paige cuts Azzi off immediately, resting her forehead against the younger girl’s, “please.”

“Paige,” Azzi breathes out, “I have to go.”

“No you don’t,” Paige says stubbornly. 

“Paige please-”

“Stay- fuck please- Azzi- just give me tonight. Tomorrow we can talk and you can-,” Paige swallows, not wanting to say leave out loud, “but please- tonight can we just pretend? Can you give me that? Fuck- can I just have tonight? Please- just- stay.”

Azzi lets out a shaky breath, “it won’t make it hurt less.”

“I know- fuck- I know but I just don’t want it to hurt right now.”

“Okay,” Azzi whispers slowly, thumb caressing Paige’s wet eyelashes, “okay, I’ll stay tonight.”

Paige kisses her again. 

***

The UConn team falls in love with Azzi in a matter of hours. No one had been shocked when Paige had shown up to the after party a.k.a everybody gathering at the hotel bar, fashionably late and with a nervous Azzi teetering behind her. It had been awkward at first; everyone was a little unsure of how to act around the new presence. Not only was Azzi from a rival team, but everyone was at least a little aware of her tumultuous relationship with their star player. But then KK had wanted to film a tiktok that needed someone to do random camerawork and when everybody else had groaned, Azzi had quietly volunteered. Much to KK’s delight, Azzi turned out to be quite the cameraman. And that apparently was all that was needed and Paige marvels at the way Azzi just fits.

She moves around Paige’s team as if they’re just as much hers. One second she’s timing some stupid drinking game that KK and Ice are playing, the next she’s sitting in a corner laughing with a more subdued Ash and Q. 

Aubrey and Ayanna gush over their girlfriend and Azzi’s coos over their pictures, a hint of wistfulness on her face when she meets Paige’s eyes. 

The team does their routine of teasing Aaliyah’s about being vegetarian and Azzi diligently backs the Canadian up with a spiel of how tofu isn’t actually that bad. That gets her a hi-5 from Aaliyah despite the eye rolls from the rest of the team. 

Despite being a little tipsy from having been dragged into doing shots with Amari and Carol, the two other people she knows pretty well, Azzi diligently lets Inés and Jana teach her little bits of Portuguese and Egyptian. 

Even Nika sheds her frostiness, amused by Azzi’s curiosity to learn her native language beyond just the curse words, and teaches the younger girl a couple of words. Azzi rolls her eyes fondly when she realises she’s been taught to say UConn is the best team ever in Croatian and amidst Nika’s laughter, Paige knows is a hidden acceptance. 

But the best part of it is that although Azzi’s suddenly being pulled in all different directions by various UConn girls, she never really leaves Paige’s side through it all. There’s always a little bit of them touching, whether it’s their shoulders or their knees, even when they’re both involved in completely different conversations and activities. It feels oddly domestic and Paige is reminded of the part after her state championship all over again. The burst of i want this forever that stirs in her chest makes her want to sob because it collides head first against a wall of this is only for tonight. And Paige knows that one night won’t ever be enough for her. 

“Aye Paige’s girl, come play truth or shots with,” KK’s loud voice breaks through Paige’s cloud of distress and it’s eclipsed by the implication of those two words. 

Paige’s girl. The phrases makes itself home in Paige’s heart, sounding so fucking right. She hasn’t let herself acknowledge it truly ever but that’s how it’s always been in Paige’s mind. It’s how she’s always thought of Azzi. As hers. Her Azzi. Her girl. 

“I’m not-that’s not-” Azzi’s cheeks are tinted pink as she stutters through her words, withering under KK’s cocked eyebrow. 

“Uh-okay if you say so,” KK rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in a sarcastic defensive position, “guess we’re starting off truth or shots by lying.”

The rest of the team laughs as Azzi’s blush grows even deeper and Paige can’t even try and hide her smile, her own neck tingling a little bit as she tucks herself into Azzi’s side. And it’s not real, they’re not anything, but in this moment it feels a little bit like they’re everything. 

“You guys are sickening,” Ice accuses when she notices the two of them cheesily smiling at each other, “it makes me gag.”

“They’re cute. Leave them alone,” Caroline chastises, ever the supportive friend. 

Azzi leans back against Paige’s arm as the group goes around the circle, asking each other ridiculous questions, cheering like little kids when their teammates opts to drink instead of answering a vaguely invasive question. When it’s her turn, Paige can already tell by the glint in KK’s eyes that her menace mini-me is about to cause trouble. 

“Paigey cakes, when’s the last time you had sex?”

Next to her, Paige can feel Azzi stiffen immediately. The shot feels heavy in Paige’s hand as she seriously contemplates taking it. She knows why KK asked the question, probably having concocted some idea of exposing Paige and Azzi. She’d known by the waggling eyebrows that the whole team had thought the two of them were late because they’d been fucking but that couldn’t be further from the bitter truth. 

Paige chances a look at Azzi’s face as she bites down on her lips. The younger girl’s face is stoically devoid of any emotion and Paige knows she’s thinking about the night of the crash (or as Paige likes to call it, the most terrifying night of her life) except- 

“November, last year,” Paige says slowly and Azzi whips her face around to look at her, lips falling apart in shock. 

“Don’t play, there’s no fucking way,” Ice guffaws and Paige shrugs. 

“It’s the truth.”

“Bruh what the fuck,” KK looks a little shell-shocked, “how the fuck did you survive that long?”

“Some of us actually know what to do with our own fingers,” Paige quips defensively, trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the way Azzi’s still looking at her. 

“I bet Azzi knows all about your fingers huh Azzi?” and even that, KK’s unhinged commentary, isn’t enough to get Azzi to pull her gaze away from Paige. It’s almost as if she hadn’t heard it all. 

“You didn’t- that night?” Azzi manages to get out. 

“Couldn’t do it,” Paige mumbles, “she wasn’t you.”

Despite the horde of people around them, they’re in their own little bubble now. There are a multitude of questions swimming in Azzi’s eyes and Paige wants to answer all of them if it means that maybe just maybe, she could prevent the inevitable misery tomorrow would bring. 

“Okay Azzi, it’s your turn,” Amari’s voice draws Azzi’s attention away and Paige feels cold without the heat of it. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive tomorrow. Living in the present isn’t working and Paige finds herself already feeling the emptiness she knows will become her reality in a couple of hours. Her fingers tap an incessant pattern on her thigh as she tries to keep her focus on the game, 

Azzi swallows nervously before mustering up a grin with false confidence, “I’m ready. Hit me with your best, I’m not drinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” KK smirks, diabolically rubbing her hands together, before she turns to Nika, “all yours Nik-Nik.”

The other girls “ooh”, knowing  Nika’s reputation for being notoriously good at this game. The Croatian grins at Azzi, as she sits up from where she’d been lazily lying on the love seat, a glint of mischief in her eyes. And then her eyes meet the forlorn ones of her twin and something shifts. When she looks back at Azzi, there’s a more serious look on Nika’s face. 

“Have you ever been in love?”

There’s pin drop silence once the gravity of the question registers. The light-hearted air in the room is replaced with anticipation, as all of Paige’s teammates look back and forth between their point guard and her best friend. Paige isn’t sure if she wants to know the answer, doesn’t know if there’s an answer that wouldn’t break her heart just a little bit. For a second, it looks like Azzi’s going to drink until she puts the shot down on her hand rest until- 

“Yes,” she confesses in a whisper, and Paige feels her heart begin to race, “I have.”

“How many times?” Nika prods

“That’s not how the game works. I already answered your question.”

“Different rules for newcomers,” Nika shrugs. It’s a blatant lie but nobody says anything. Paige is still caught up in her own head and the other girls won't challenge Nika, not when they’re just as curious, “I get to ask questions til you drink.”

Azzi narrows her eyes, knowing it’s all bullshit and maybe if she wasn’t a little bit tipsy and competitive, maybe if she couldn’t feel every inch of Paige’s side pressed against her, she’d walk away but she can’t. 

“Only once,” she answers. 

“With your ex-girlfriend?” Nika asks. The way she raises an eyebrow suggests there’s only one right answer to the question. Paige doesn’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer, only that there’s an answer that would shatter her. 

“No. I was never in love with her,” Azzi directs the answer towards Nika, but everyone knows it’s meant for Paige’s ears. And despite the tornado still roaring in her body, the blonde lets out a sigh of relief. 

Nika’s intimidating demeanour cracks a little bit when that answer makes her smile, “are you in love with someone right now?”

Even if it’s not said out loud, the implication of Nika’s question, the someone, is clear. And suddenly Paige doesn’t want to hear the answer, not right now, not when they’re both a little tipsy, not when they’re surrounded by all her teammates, not when their future is so unclear. 

“Drink,” Paige cuts in, holding the shot in front of Azzi, “don’t answer it.”

“Paige-”

“Drink Azzi,” Paige says firmly. 

Azzi looks equal parts relieved and frustrated as she downs the drink, happy to have gotten out of the uncomfortable round of questioning but a little annoyed at losing in front of the UConn girls. 

“And you said you wouldn’t drink,” Nika sneers, as she hi-5’s her teammates. 

“Because you bent the rules; she did great,” Paige defends immediately and everyone snickers, the mood in the room returning to something more casual.

“So fucking pussywhipped,” Ice teases. 

“Shut up,” Paige whines, hiding her face against Azzi’s shoulder as everybody else laughs. If the voices in head screaming this is just for tonight would shut up for a second, Paige thinks maybe she could fall in love with this moment, surrounded by her found family. 

It’s almost 3 am when the team decides maybe they should start going to bed, knowing they have a morning flight back to Connecticut. Everyone else is still in a jovial mood, sufficiently drunk of both alcohol and the high of a championship but Paige’s stomach pools with dread. Every minute is a step closer to a goodbye, she’ll never be prepared to say. 

They get to the lobby of the hotel when Paige turns to Azzi, ignoring her anxiety to be a nuisance instead. 

“No,” Azzi says immediately when she sees Paige making grabby hands at her, “there’s literally an elevator Paige.”

“So? That just makes it easier for you. This is tradition.”

“In what world is this a tradition?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly. 

“Since I won the state championship,” Paige grins, “pleeeeease, I’m tired, my feet hurt.”

Azzi gives her an unimpressed look, “you’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours.”

“And before that I was winning a championship, after beating your team by the way,” Paige’s smirk widens when Azzi guffaws at catching a stray. 

“Oh fuck off. Reminding me of that is not the way to get me to carry you by the way.”

“C’mon Az, you know you’re gonna give in anyway. You know you wanna sleep, stop wasting time.”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a dramatic sight before doing exactly what she always does, giving into Paige, “hop on then you big baby.”

Paige cheers, latching on Azzi’s back as her knees circle around the other girl’s waist. Unlike when they were younger, Azzi’s doesn’t stumble anymore at the additional weight. She’s stronger now, completely solid and steady underneath Paige and that absolutely doesn’t trigger any inappropriate thoughts in the older girl’s brains, absolutely. 

“Y’all are so cringe,” KK crinkles up her face when she turns to look at them as they wait for the elevator, but there’s a certain amount of fondness in her voice, “but Azzi’s cool. Much cooler than you P boogers. You should bring her around more often.”

Paige’s smile vanishes in tandem with Azzi letting out a strangled noise. KK looks between the two of them, slowly realising maybe she’d just put her foot in her mouth. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Paige answers noncommittally, trying to keep her voice steady. 

Much to her relief, the elevator dings open, saving her from having to say anything more. She wraps her arms tighter around Azzi, burying her face as far into the other girl’s neck as she can and closing her eyes, trying to lose herself in Azzi, instead of in the jail of her own mind.

She doesn’t look up from where she’s nestled into Azzi’s skin, when the rest of her teammates start towards their own separate rooms, telling Azzi how lovely it was to meet her. 

“Can you get off her back, so I can give her a hug?” Ice pinches Paige’s arm but the older girl just shrugs her off. 

“No. Go hug someone else.”

“Bro you’re so fucking annoying,” Ice groans and Azzi sends her an apologetic wink but it doesn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t try to shake Paige off like she normally would. It heals something in Paige to know that Azzi doesn’t want to let go either. And she doesn’t understand why they’re doing this, why they’re fighting this, when neither of them want to. 

“I think your teammates might like me better than you,” Azzi teases when they finally get back to the room and Paige climbs off of her back. The blonde is too lost in her thoughts to come back with a smart quip. And of course her best friend notices it immediately, nudging her quietly, “P? You good?”

Paige blinks up at Azzi, and even before she says the word, she knows Azzi’s already read them in her eyes, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs tiredly, “what happened to pretending tonight?”

“Fuck pretending,” Paige blames the alcohol for how loud her voice comes out, guilty only because it makes the girl in front of her flinch, “I don’t want just tonight. It’s no where near fucking enough. I want forever. With you.”

“That’s not- Paige- we live on different sides of the country.”

“For now, but we can make it work. It’s us,” Paige pleads desperately. 

Azzi scoffs, stepping away from Paige, “you say that like it a good thing.”

“What-”

“Us! We don’t- it’s not- being ‘us’ is not a good thing Paige. May us from before but us now? Us now is complicated and messy and hard and I just- I can’t do this Paige.”

“You can- we can- Azzi- just- think about it okay- sleep on it- you’ll see. You’ll see, I’m right.”

Azzi shakes her head, closing her eyes as a single teardrop leaks out, “you’re making this so fucking hard Paige.”

“I don’t want to- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby,” the term of endearment slips through Paige’s lips before she can catch it, “but I need you to think about it once please.”

She moves to cup Azzi’s cheeks, thumb caressing away the tears, “please.”

“Okay, okay,” Azzi nods, resting her forehead against Paige’s, “I’ll think about it.”

They’re quiet as they get changed for bed, thinking about the same thing. Co-existing together comes naturally to them after years of inhabiting each other’s space and the. there's no getting in each other’s way, even if they’re both dead silent. It’s awkward when they finally get into bed, both of them lying on their back, resolutely staring up at the ceiling. Paige is the first one to move, turning onto her side so she can face Azzi. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful, the same kind of beautiful Paige had thought of her as since the state championship. 

“What was your answer going to be,” she asks quietly. 

“To what?”

“To Nika’s question. Are you in love with someone right now?”

Azzi hesitates a little bit, before turning her own body to face Paige, “you know the answer Paige, you don’t need me to say it.”

Paige doesn’t prod, knowing they were too volatile for her to keep pushing. Instead she reaches over to intertwine their hands together. 

“Do you know what my answer would have been?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Maybe there’s peace in knowing. Or maybe there’s only more pain. Paige doesn’t know if the truth sets her free, doesn’t know if she could ever even be set free from the shackles that bind her to Azzi, doesn’t think she even wants to be set free. But at least Azzi knows too. Maybe there’s peace in drowning together. 

***

Paige wakes up in a panic when she reaches over and finds the other side of the bed empty. She gets up with a jolt, eyes frantically searching for Azzi, until they finally land on the girl sitting on the couch next to the bed. 

“Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.”

“That’s more your style,” Azzi says and Paige flinches at the reminder, “how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Pretty shit actually” Azzi admits, “I woke up every two seconds, scared you’d be gone.”

“Az-”

“You asked me to believe in you- to believe in us and I-” Azzi draws in a sharp breath and Paige knows she’s not going to like where this is going, “I want to- I really, really, wish I could. But I don’t. I can’t- I can’t be with you Paige- not when I’m scared you’re going to break my heart every second.”

“Azzi,” Paige scrambles across the bed, stopping when the girl in question holds her hands up. Everything in her feels like it’s on fire. There are no burn marks on her skin but she swears she’s been turned to ashes underneath. 

“And you deserve better than that too Paige. You deserve someone who- who’s not scared. Who can give you all of herself without- without holding back and I- I can’t do that.”

“You can- fuck- Azzi you can- please,” desperation leaks through every syllable as Paige fights what she knows is a losing battle. 

“Not right now. Too much has happened between us and we can’t- we can’t just ignore all of that and start something new- maybe someday- but not right now.”

Azzi stands up from her seat, hesitantly walking over to Paige’s side of the bed. She cups Paige’s face, watery dark brown eyes meeting crystal blue ones that are glistening with tears. 

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, feeling everything slip away before she’d even had a chance to fight for it. 

Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead, holding them there for what feels like the briefest of seconds until she’s pulling away, “I’m sorry P.”

And then she’s gone and every part of Paige’s heart is gone with her. 

[0810hts]

forced marriage || p.sungho

pairing: Park Sungho x fem!reader

genre: fluff, forced marriage, a little bit of angst (?)

warnings: forced marriage, kissing (if I missed something, please let me know)

word count: 1860

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“You look beautiful, darling,” your dad, who was standing behind you, said.

“Thank you, Dad,” you replied, glancing at him through the mirror in front of you. You saw a big smile on his face, and you knew it wasn’t just because you were about to have a grand wedding, dressed in a beautiful, puffy, lace-covered, and sparkly white gown. No, it wasn’t just that. He was smiling because he had finally secured a partnership with one of South Korea’s biggest jewelry companies, Park Royale Jewelers.

Your parents already owned a large jewelry company, but they wanted more. They were determined to partner with someone more powerful, just to expand their business. That’s why they pressured you into this marriage—or rather, begged you until you finally agreed.

You were marrying Mr. Park’s youngest son, Park Sungho. You two knew each other, but you had hardly ever had a real conversation.

“Okay, it’s time to go, honey. We can’t keep your husband waiting too long!” your mom announced as she hurried into your dressing room.

You let out a deep sigh and started walking toward the venue. The wedding was taking place at the JW Marriott Hotel in Seoul.

Standing in front of the grand doors, your father nodded to the gentleman, signaling that you were ready.

As the grand doors slowly swung open, revealing the elegantly decorated ballroom filled with chandeliers, white roses, and sparkling lights, a hushed silence fell over the crowd. Every eye turned to you, the bride, as you stepped forward, arm in arm with your father. The weight of your gown felt heavier with each step, as if the reality of the situation was finally sinking in.

You kept your eyes forward, resisting the urge to glance at Sungho just yet. You could feel the pressure mounting with each step, the whispers of admiration and curiosity from the guests merging with the low hum of the music. Somewhere behind all the pleasantries, you knew what this wedding really was a transaction. A business deal sealed with a marriage contract.

As you reached the altar, your father released your arm, and you caught a glimpse of Sungho for the first time today. He stood tall, dressed in a sleek white tuxedo, looking every bit the part of a perfect groom. He took your right hand, interwining his fingers with yours.

The officiant cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to the ceremony. You stood there, feeling the weight of everyone's expectations on your shoulders, and for a brief moment, you wondered what your life would have been like if you had said no.

As the ceremony proceeded, your thoughts drifted back to all the times your parents had convinced you that this was the best choice—that this marriage would secure not just their future, but yours as well. "You'll grow to love him," your mother had said over and over, as if love was something that could simply be cultivated over time, like a flower that needed only sunlight and water.

As you stood there next to Sungho, you felt his thumb giving your hand a slight stroke, reassuring you that everything will be okay. His face remained focused tho. The words being exchanged between you and him seemed like nothing more than formalities. Empty vows spoken out of duty rather than genuine affection.

When the officiant finally said, “You may now kiss the bride,” there was a brief hesitation. Sungho turned to you, giving a soft smile before lifting your veil and placing a gentle, almost mechanical kiss on your lips—polite, but with a hint of passion. The crowd erupted in applause, though you barely heard it over the pounding of your heart.

As you both turned to face the guests, you plastered on a smile, just as you had been trained to do in public. Sungho's hand rested lightly on your back as you walked down the aisle together, a picture-perfect couple. Yet, every step felt more like a walk toward an uncertain future.

--------------------

The reception that followed was a blur of congratulations, handshakes, and polite conversations. Guests marveled at the decorations, complimented your gown, and raised toasts to your new life together. You smiled, nodded, and responded with the same practiced grace your parents had instilled in you over the years. Sungho remained by your side, quietly attentive, but speaking only when addressed. He was gentle, almost reserved, but not cold. There was a warmth in his presence that you hadn't expected, something that felt… comforting, even if the two of you were still strangers in many ways.

When the final toast was made and the guests began to filter out, you both were finally able to retreat to your suite. The silence between you was palpable as the elevator ascended, the weight of everything that had happened today pressing down on you. The reality of being alone with your new husband hit you all at once, and your heart pounded as you stepped into the grand hotel suite.

The moment the door clicked shut behind you, you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. You felt the tension in your shoulders start to ease, and for the first time all day, you allowed yourself to relax—if only slightly.

Sungho, standing just a few feet away, seemed to sense your unease. He shifted awkwardly, his hands slipping into his pockets as he glanced at you, his expression soft. "I hope today wasn’t too overwhelming," he said quietly, breaking the silence.

You looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. His gaze was steady but gentle, and for the first time, you noticed how his shyness wasn’t from disinterest but from a quiet thoughtfulness. It was almost endearing.

"I guess... it was a bit much," you admitted, offering a small, tired smile. "But I’m managing."

Sungho nodded, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "I know this wasn’t exactly what either of us had in mind," he began, his voice hesitant but genuine. "But… I just want you to know that I’m going to try. I want this to work, not just for our families, but for us too." His eyes searched yours for a moment, as if to gauge your reaction.

His words took you by surprise. You hadn’t expected him to be so honest, so open about his own feelings. You nodded, appreciating his effort. "Me too," you said quietly. "I’ll try too."

The room was silent for a moment longer, a comfortable quiet that seemed to settle between the two of you. Sungho then cleared his throat softly and gestured towards the bedroom door. "I… uh, left something for you on the bed. Just a small gift."

Curiosity piqued, you walked over to the bedroom, your heart beating a little faster. On the large, luxurious bed, you found two items that made you stop in your tracks—a small bouquet of blue flowers and a plush teddy bear. The flowers were delicate and vibrant, and the bear was soft, with a warm, welcoming expression. You could tell that both had been carefully chosen.

You gently picked up the bouquet, your fingers brushing against the delicate petals of the blue tulips. They were stunning—vibrant, yet soft in their elegance, the deep blue color almost mesmerizing. Blue tulips weren't a common choice, but they were perfect. They symbolized peace, trust, and the hope of something new. Your heart softened at the thought of Sungho choosing them specifically for you.

When you turned back toward him, Sungho stood in the doorway, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, his expression a little unsure. "I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you liked," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I saw these, and they reminded me of something calm and... peaceful. I thought they might make you feel a bit more at ease."

Your lips curved into a genuine smile, touched by his thoughtfulness. "They're beautiful. Thank you, Sungho. I love them." Your voice came out softer than you'd intended, but it carried all the sincerity you felt at that moment.

He let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as he met your gaze. There was a slight flush on his cheeks as he returned your smile, and you could tell your reaction meant more to him than he’d let on.

You placed the blue tulips gently on the nightstand, your fingers lingering for a moment before your gaze shifted to the soft teddy bear beside them. Its plush fur was warm and inviting, and without thinking, you picked it up, holding it close to your chest. It was such a simple gift, yet it was so personal, so kind.

Sungho cleared his throat, still standing near the door. "I… thought instead of a basic wedding gift like jewelry or a high end bag or so, I thought that this was maybe a bit more... you know nicer and make you feel a bit more comfortable?." His voice was a bit hesitant, as if unsure whether the gift was too childish or too much.

Your chest tightened, not with sadness but with a growing warmth. It wasn’t just the gifts themselves that moved you; it was the care and thought behind them. Sungho was showing you, in his quiet, unassuming way, that he cared about how you felt. That he wanted to make this new chapter as comfortable as possible for you both.

"Sungho," you began, meeting his eyes again, "you didn’t have to do this, but… I really appreciate it. The flowers, the bear… everything. It means a lot to me."

He smiled softly, his shyness still evident but tempered by a quiet confidence. "I’m just glad you like them."

You sat on the edge of the bed, still holding the plush bear close, and for the first time since the whirlwind of the wedding day had begun, you felt a sense of calm. The pressure, the uncertainty—it all seemed to fade, just a little, in the face of Sungho’s quiet kindness. There was something real here, something gentle, and maybe, something worth nurturing.

As Sungho took a tentative step closer, his eyes met yours, and there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. This marriage might have started out of obligation, but standing here now, with the tulips blooming softly beside you and the warmth of the bear in your arms, you realized that it didn’t have to stay that way. There was a chance for something more. Something genuine, soft, and full of hope.

And as Sungho stood there, a bit shy but undeniably sweet, you found yourself ready to take that chance.

You stood up and gave him a quick peck on his left cheek. "How about we get ready for bed? I really want to get out of this dress and change into my pajamas."

Sungho, who was a blushing mess, gave you a nod. "Yeah, that's a good idea. We could later on watch a movie if you want..." "That would be a great idea", you said and gave him a bright smile.

Maybe this wasn't as bad, as you thought it would be.

The End

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What a February

Well...what a great couple of days to be stuck in the office, amiright? (I work mostly from home but on occasion I have to go into the office and of course some nice little royal bombs get dropped when I can't be here.)

I've gotten some anons about what's happened but I won't be posting them (sorry, everyone!). Because so much has happened, I think it would just be confusing to rehash some of it, and other asks were also sent to Empress and Sassy (nothing wrong with that! They were doing answers in real-time and they've said pretty much the same things I'd have said).

So to recap recent events:

2/5/24: Buckingham Palace announced King Charles has cancer. Fortuntely it was caught early, Charles is doing/feeling well, he's beginning treatment immediately.

2/6/24: Harry catches a last-minute flight to London. Clarence House puts out a story "business as usual, nothing to worry about, King can still work and he is still working" (i.e., Harry go home).

2/7/24: Harry arrives in London. He goes directly to Charles, who is delaying travel to Sandringham to see him. Harry's PR says they met for an hour, Meghan wanted to say hello/wish him well via Facetime but Charles declined, and Harry went to BP for the evening. The Daily Mail tracked the comings and goings from Clarence House and realized the meeting lasted less than 15 minutes, from the time of Harry's convoy entering the grounds to Charles's helicopter leaving. It is further revealed that Harry spent the night in a hotel, William didn't return Harry's calls, Harry didn't want Camilla involved in the meeting, and none of Harry's "friends" offered to host him for the night. Also, William makes his first public engagements since mid-January when Kate's treatment began; Tom Cruise is there.

2/8/24: Harry flies home. He's papped at Heathrow entering the VVIP suite (as one does). Wait, Harry's not at home! He's in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl (or the Superb Owl) and makes a surprise appearance to present the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year award. Sussex PR immediately begins telling everyone that Harry and Meghan will be attending the Super Bowl.

2/9/24: Lambrook School begins half-term break and the Wales family travels to Anmer Hall/Sandringham estate. Harry's appearance in Vegas gets picked up by the media.

2/10/24: Meghan's PR starts walking back their own rumors that they'll be in Vegas for the Super Bowl, citing the need to prepare for their Canada IG trip.

2/11/24: Super Bowl Sunday. No Harry and Meghan to be seen.

2/12/24: Meghan's PR reveals she spent the weekend cooking with Afghan immigrants in an Archewell initiative.

2/13/24: Harry and Meghan launch their newest rebranding effort with their new Sussex website with Meghan's coat of arms (rather than their joint coat of arms). Meghan announces a new podcast deal with someone no one has really heard of.

2/14/24: Harry and Meghan arrive in Vancouver for the "one year to 2025 Invictus Games." Meghan coordinates a photoshoot with outdoor activities; merches two outfits; and virtue-signals their "we're still royal" demands with Kate cosplay, a coat called Kensington, and a 'you can call us Sir/Ma'am' exchange caught on camera. In the evening they're papped going to a super-romantic Valentine's Day dinner date.

2/15/24: Day 2 of the Vancouver IG kickoff visit. They visit wheelchair basketball. Meghan gives her signature full-body contact-hugs. Sussex PR announce that the family has changed their surname to Sussex (from Mountbatten-Windsor) and this is the first time all family members have the same surname. Meghan also claps back at mounting criticism by saying "We will not be broken."

2/16/24: Day 3 of the Vancouver IG kickoff visit. Harry gives an interview to GMA's Will Reeve (son of the late Superman actor Christopher Reeve and his wife, Dana) in which he blabs about Charles's cancer and reiterates how much he loves his family, hinting that he's available to come back. Sussex PR also drops an article in the afternoon (with BP collaboration) announcing Harry and Meghan's plan to return with half in/half out; this is very clearly one of Charles's trial balloons from Clarence House.

(Today) 2/17/24: Backlash to the trial balloon is swift, so Clarence House backtracks immediately and does damage control. Kensington Palace announces that William will attend the 2024 BAFTAs tomorrow. Half-term break for Lambrook School ends on February 19th so the Waleses are traveling back to London/Windsor this weekend. And Hollywood has fought back by leaking about their Netflix deal, which contradicts a ton of Meghan's PR from 2020/2021.

Since some of you have asked for my thoughts, here you go. I am warning you now it's probably going to be my usual essay.

On the new website:

The new Sussex website is a problem. It conveys a legitimacy to the public that Harry and Meghan do not have, which The Queen and Edward Young made very sure was publicly known back in 2020. In particular, it's the use of Meghan's coat of arms, which signals palace support or endorsement. IMO, Buckingham needs to force them to take the coat of arms down.

I suspect they are using Meghan's coat of arms because a) Meghan believes it was personally awarded to her and is hers to use as she wants, whereas Harry's coat of arms probably comes with strings from the BRF and b) it's CYA if ever there's a divorce - if you look at it from a business standpoint, this is nothing more than Meghan branding the company with her name so she can prove ownership when they're splitting assets in a divorce, increasing her chances of getting the "company."

What about Archewell?

They're probably phasing out Archewell. It doesn't have the same visual connection to Harry and Meghan that Sussex does. I think they struggled so much with Archewell and were never able to get it off the ground in terms of a brand or an identity, in part due to the COVID-era launch. Sussex is a much stronger association for them and connects them more tightly to the royal identity. Archewell will probably be either their nonprofit arm or their content creator arm but it won't be as important going forward as it's been in the past.

Frankly, I would be surprised if Archewell v Sussex branding didn't come up in the brand analysis that WME did when Meghan first signed with them. We know they did a brand analysis because there was a ton of PR in August 2023 about Harry and Meghan becoming separate brands, which didn't work at all and they were back together as a "Sussex" brand in September 2023 with Dusseldorf Invictus Games. Seeing the success of "Team Sussex" in Dusseldorf definitely informed the website and the rebranding attempt.

What about the timing of all this?

They're taking advantage of the quietness from the royal family. They do this every year like clockwork when 1) the BRF is on summer holidays (July through early September) and 2) the BRF is on winter holidays (late December through early February). What is unusual about this timing is that it's taking place in mid-February and possibly well into March, which is a clear signal that it's the Sussexes taking advantage of Kate's absence to draw attention to themselves because Kate isn't there to steal their headlines.

And that it was a whole week of Sussex PR is not unusual either. It's their usual pattern when they have something big they want to promote and dominate the news with. It's cyclical at this point: first is a reminder of their royal status (Harry flying to Charles's bedside), then it's a reminder of their celebrity status (the Super Bowl appearance), then it's a big announcement (Sussex website), culminating in a set of public engagements/appearances (Invictus Games) with media attention. And to keep the attention coming, they drop breadcrumbs about the royal family to look like they're still "in," which buys them a few extra days of coverage because Charles falls for the bait every time.

The more interesting bit of timing in all of this is the Netflix article. Netflix wouldn't randomly give comments like this, so something must have happened behind the scenes for them to be pushed to this particular breaking point. I feel like perhaps the Sussexes may be trying to renegotiate their deals - maybe they asked for more money or maybe Meghan is trying to get more out of this 'Meet Me at the Lake' production than was agreed - and this is Netflix making it clear that it's over and done. I also have a niggling feeling that it might be connected to the upcoming film awards (BAFTA Film Awards tomorrow, Oscars on March 10th) - maybe they're trying to score tickets to parties using Netflix's name?

Are they really going to come back? Will Charles let them work again?

Analytically, the evidence points to 'no.' The trial balloon failed quickly faster than any other I've seen recently, which is and isn't surprising. It's surprising how quickly Charles backtracked since it had his implicit endorsement. It's not surprising that Charles pulled it down - he's as thin-skinned as Harry and Meghan both are when it comes to criticism.

But it's also more than just the trial balloon. It's everything else.

Charles wants them back on the family side. That's always been pretty clear. I think he waffles on having them back on the "work" side: on the one hand, the BRF needs the help since 10 of The Queen's 14 working royals are elderly (all 5 Kents, the 2 Gloucesters, Charles and Camilla, and Anne) and 2 of the remaining 4 are dealing with a signficant health issue and are temporarily out of commission - in the business sense, this is unsustainable and untenable succession planning. But on the other hand, no one wants Harry and Meghan back, for a litany of reasons including how much shit they've talked about the family (collectively and individually), the petty PR games they play for attention, and the Sussexes' general toxicity. And by 'no one,' I mean family members, courtiers/staff, others in the aristocracy (not getting invites to the Grosvenor wedding is a huge reflection of what "their kind" thinks of teh Sussexes), and the at-large general public.

Charles probably has entertained the idea of half in/half out now that he's in charge and the Sussexes are now lovebombing him (vs in 2020 when they were lovebombing The Queen) but his biggest opposition is public support - it took Charles 30 years and 4 significant deaths (Diana, Queen Mother, Philip, and her own forthcoming death) to get The Queen's support for Camilla to become 'Queen Camilla and, in turn, the public's support or the public's indifference.

Charles doesn't have that kind of time to get the institutional and public support to bring Harry back. He's got 10 years at best, which is now handicapped by a cancer diagnosis.

Beyond that, he doesn't even have Harry and Meghan's cooperation the same way he had Camilla's cooperation. Camilla cooperated with a 10-year wait to be liked well enough that no one would object to her marrying Charles. Camilla then cooperated with a further 17-year wait to be liked well enough that the institution would support her becoming Queen.

Can Harry and Meghan wait that long? No. They can't. They couldn't wait an extra year to get engaged. They couldn't wait to have their first child. They couldn't wait out the criticism from Fall 2018. They couldn't wait out the criticism from Summer 2019. Harry couldn't wait for the phone-hacking settlement. When they want something, they want it now. They buy completed projects and slap their branding on it vs. developing their own programs.

Can Harry and Meghan cooperate with anyone? No. They can't. They couldn't cooperate with William and Kate on the Royal Foundation. They couldn't cooperate with the courtiers for Archie's birth. They couldn't cooperate with the family on Megxit. They couldn't cooperate with the rota for tour coverage. They need to be totally and fully in control of absolutely everything. Their idea of cooperation is 'I tell you what to do, you do it.'

And because they're too impatient and because they refuse to cooperate, there's no way they'll support a 10-years long PR drive for Charles to rehabilitate their public image and get William's support. Heck, they can't even last a 3-month media rebrand. Charles knows that, which I suspect is why he may be trying to fast-track it but 1) when has fast-tracking something ever gone well for the BRF and 2) William is the linchpin holding it all together. Charles can't do anything without William's support. Yes, William is that powerful now - the public does pay attention to what he and Kate signal and the public would support them more than they would support Charles. Charles can't risk losing William's favor any more than he already has.

The third reason stopping Charles from taking Harry and Meghan back as working royals is Camilla and that Harry doesn't want her involved. He admitted it last week when he didn't contradict her leak about it. IMO, this reveals Harry's hand: he wants to position himself (or Meghan and himself) as Camilla's alternate, the way Charles often stood in as Philip's alternate. They want Camilla to retire so they can take her place in prestige, wealth, and attention. It's the only way they can "be better" than William and Kate, and they probably think it's how they can get "more" in the inheritance than William. Unfortunately for them, Camilla is Charles's line in the sand so no way will Charles let that happen after he spent 30 years getting Camilla to be able to sit next to him, and on top of all that, Camilla herself didn't wait 30 years to be Queen just for a pair of narcisstic glassbowl shitheads to usurp her at the last second.

That's the "working royal" side of it.

When you look at the "family" side of it, we know that Charles is more accepting of allowing the Sussexes back as family members, albeit with two strict rules:

No Meghan

No royal work

We know these are Charles's rules because it's already been communicated to us, most especially in the events around the Queen's funeral and his own coronation.

We also know these are Charles's' terms because Harry is publicly fighting against them this week, which suggests that these may have been reiterated (or relitgated, perhaps) during the <15-minute visit on February 7th.

"We all finally have the same surname for the first time as a family" and "maybe I'll become an American' is Harry's way of telling Charles and the courtiers that all four of them are a package deal and they all move together (like Archie's salt and pepper shakers). Meaning that if Charles wants Harry back, Charles must also take Meghan, Archie, and Lili too.

The Vancouver trip being such a royal rip-off is Harry's way of demanding royal work. His position is that he and Meghan must have the exact same lifestyle now that they had back in 2018: a palace residence, glamorous patronages, military honors, gushy praising media coverage, carriage processions, and equal precedence to the entire Wales family.

All this to illustrate that the dividing line is over the work aspect.

On one side is everyone saying "no, they can't work, they're just family." On the other side is Harry and Meghan saying "we're not just family, we're also working royals." And Charles is there smack in the middle saying "don't make my last years miserable" begging someone to give in. It's clear that Charles hopes it will be the institution (i.e. William) that gives in so he can fast-track the rehabilitation.

So no, I don't think Charles and the Sussexes will succeed in being part-time working royals. I think we'll see a lot of negotiating in the coming weeks and months (like Sussex demands for Trooping) and it may get loud and it may look frighteningly real, but that's only because William and Kate are on leave from work and their absence lets Harry and Meghan play offense. Once the Waleses are working again, or a new picture of Kate is released (I'm still hedging my bets for something celebrating Mother's Day next month), the Sussexes go back to playing on defense, and playing poorly.

We only need to worry if William, Kate, and Camilla appear to be changing their minds. They represent "the institution" to Charles, as well as public support (William) and establishment media (Camilla). William continues to tell everyone he isn't speaking to Harry. Kate's body language at the Windsor Walkabout keeps resurfacing. Camilla has leaked that Harry doesn't want to see her when he visits Charles and that she doesn't support the Sussexes coming back. There's nothing to worry about for now.

[aimeedaisies]

The Princess Royal’s Official Engagements in April 2024

06/04 As President of the Working Clumber Spaniel Society, held a Training Day to mark their 40th Anniversary at Gatcombe Park. 🐶

09/04 On behalf of The King, held an Investiture at Windsor Castle.🎖️

With Sir Tim Opened Tideway’s Chelsea Quay, on Chelsea Embankment in London. 🌊

With Sir Tim, As Master of the Corporation of Trinity House, attended the 70th anniversary of Re-Hallowing Service at St Olave’s Church, followed by a Reception at Trinity House. ⛪️🍾

10/04 Visited Helmshore Mills Textile Museum in Rossendale, Lancashire. 🧵👕

Visited Trawden Village Community Projects in Trawden near Colne, Lancashire. 🏡

Visited HMS VENTURER in build at Venturer Hall in Fife. ⛴️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

11/04 In Northern Ireland Princess Anne; 🇮🇪

Visited Fleming Agri Products Limited in Derry. 🚜

Visited Londonderry Port and Harbour Commissioners, to commemorate its 170th Anniversary. 🚢

Visited the South West College Erne Campus building in Enniskillen. 🏫

Visited the renovated Enniskillen Workhouse in Enniskillen. 💼

As Patron of Maritime UK, attended the Northern Ireland Maritime and Offshore Cluster launch Reception at Belfast Harbour Office. ⚓️🥂

12/04 As Royal Patron of the Motor Neurone Disease Association, attended the Northern Ireland Conference at Dunsilly Hotel in Antrim. 🇮🇪👨‍🦽

As Patron of Tenovus Cancer Care, visited a Mobile Support Unit at Bronglais General Hospital in Aberystwyth. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏥

15/04 With Sir Tim As the Former President of the Royal Association of British Dairy Farmers, presented The Princess Royal Award and Royal Dairy Innovation Award at Gatcombe Park. 🐄🥛🏆

16/04 As Royal Patron of the National Coastwatch Institution, this visited Fleetwood Station in Fleetwood, followed by a Reception at Marine Hall. 🔎🌊

As Patron of the Pony Club, visited Wrea Green Equitation Centre in Preston, to mark the 25th of the Pony Club Centre Membership Scheme. 🐴

As President of the Carers Trust, visited Sefton Carers Centre in Liverpool, to mark its 30th anniversary. 🧑‍🦯🩺

17/04 On behalf of The King, held two Investitures at Windsor Castle. 🎖️

18/04 Attended the Lord Mayor's Big Curry Lunch at Guildhall. 🍛

As President of The Duke of Edinburgh's Commonwealth Study Conferences, held a Dinner at Buckingham Palace for the President's Council and the Caribbean-Canada Leaders' Dialogue. 🗺️🍽️

19/04 On behalf of The King, held an Investiture at Buckingham Palace. 🎖️

21/04 Unofficial As President of the Working Clumber Spaniel Society, hosted a test day at Gatcombe Park. 🐶

22/04 As trustee of the council of St George’s House Princess Anne;

Attended a council meeting at St George’s House. 💼

Attended a Lecture in St. George's Chapel. 🎓

Attended a Dinner at the Vicars' Hall. 🍽️

23/04 On behalf of The King, held two Investitures at Windsor Castle. 🎖️

As Royal Patron of the Special Boat Service Association, held a Dinner at Windsor Castle. 🚤🍽️

24/04 As President of the Riding for the Disabled Association, visited the Cavalier Centre, and presented The King’s Awards for Voluntary Service in Farley, Much Wenlock. 🐎🏆

As Patron of Save the Children UK, visited the Lyth, Ellesmere, the birthplace of Eglantyne Jebb. 🏠

Visited the Jebb Memorial Garden at Cremorne Gardens in Ellesmere. ⛲️

25/04 Attended "DNA Day" at Illumina Centre in Great Abington. 🧬

Opened the National House Building Council's Apprenticeship Training Hub at Histon Football Club. 👷

As Patron of the Royal College of Midwives, visited Hinchingbrooke Hospital Maternity Unit. 👶🏥

As Colonel of The Blues and Royals (Royal Horse Guards and 1st Dragoons), visited The Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment at Hyde Park Barracks. 🐴💂

As Chancellor of the University of London, attended an Institute of Commonwealth Studies Reception at the Senate House, to mark its 75th anniversary. 🎓

27/04 As Admiral of the Sea Cadet Corps, attended the National Drill and Piping Competition at HMS Raleigh. 🫡⚓️

30/04 As Guardian of the Chaffinch Trust, attended a Reception at the Reform Club. 🥂

As Chancellor of the University of London, attended a Graduation Ceremony at the Barbican Centre. 🎓

As Commandant-in-Chief of the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry (Princess Royal’s Volunteer Corps), presented Coronation Medals at Wellington Barracks in London. 🫡🎖️

Total official engagements for Anne in April: 39

2024 total so far: 171

Total official engagements accompanied by Tim in April: 3

2024 total so far: 32

FYI - due to certain royal family members being off ill/in recovery I won't be posting everyone's engagement counts out of respect, I am continuing to count them and release the totals at the end of the year.

[onceuponatown]

Montreal, Canada 1890-1900

1.  Montreal from Mount Royal

2.  Mt. Royal Road

3.  Windsor St. Station

4.  Church of Bonsecours

5.  Dominion Square

6.  Court house

7.  Jacques Cartier Square

8.  City Hall

9.  Place Viger Hotel & station

10. Laval University

[veganpeachpie]

Books without overwhelming romance

I feel like a lot of books people talk about these days have a heavy focus on romance and spice, which really isn't my cup of tea, and it's hard to find good recommendations that don't have that. So here are some YA/adult books I love that don't have romance as a huge part of the plot!

(There may be some minor romantic subplots, but they aren't a major focus.)

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles In June, 1954, eighteen-year-old Emmett Watson is driven home to Nebraska by the warden of the work farm where he has just served a year for involuntary manslaughter. His mother long gone, his father recently deceased, and the family farm foreclosed upon by the bank, Emmett’s intention is to pick up his eight-year-old brother and head west where they can start their lives anew. But when the warden drives away, Emmett discovers that two friends from the work farm have hidden themselves in the trunk of the warden’s car. Together, they have hatched an altogether different plan for Emmett’s future.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov is deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, and is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day in his life, and must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors. Unexpectedly, his reduced circumstances provide him entry into a much larger world of emotional discovery.

Babel by R.F. Kuang 1828. Robin Swift, orphaned by cholera in Canton, is brought to London by the mysterious Professor Lovell. There, he trains for years in Latin, Ancient Greek, and Chinese, all in preparation for the day he’ll enroll in Oxford University’s prestigious Royal Institute of Translation—also known as Babel. The tower and its students are the world's center for translation and, more importantly, magic. Silver-working—the art of manifesting the meaning lost in translation using enchanted silver bars—has made the British unparalleled in power, as the arcane craft serves the Empire's quest for colonization. For Robin, Oxford is a utopia dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge. But knowledge obeys power, and as a Chinese boy raised in Britain, Robin realizes serving Babel means betraying his motherland. As his studies progress, Robin finds himself caught between Babel and the shadowy Hermes Society, an organization dedicated to stopping imperial expansion. When Britain pursues an unjust war with China over silver and opium, Robin must decide . . .

This Savage Song by V.E. Schwab Kate Harker and August Flynn are the heirs to a divided city—a city where the violence has begun to breed actual monsters. All Kate wants is to be as ruthless as her father, who lets the monsters roam free and makes the humans pay for his protection. All August wants is to be human, as good-hearted as his own father, to play a bigger role in protecting the innocent—but he’s one of the monsters. One who can steal a soul with a simple strain of music. When the chance arises to keep an eye on Kate, who’s just been kicked out of her sixth boarding school and returned home, August jumps at it. But Kate discovers August’s secret, and after a failed assassination attempt the pair must flee for their lives.

Anxious People by Frederick Backman Viewing an apartment normally doesn’t turn into a life-or-death situation, but this particular open house becomes just that when a failed bank robber bursts in and takes everyone in the apartment hostage. As the pressure mounts, the eight strangers begin slowly opening up to one another and reveal long-hidden truths. As police surround the premises and television channels broadcast the hostage situation live, the tension mounts and even deeper secrets are slowly revealed. Before long, the robber must decide which is the more terrifying prospect: going out to face the police, or staying in the apartment with this group of impossible people.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better? Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still. By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found. But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

The synopses were all taken from Goodreads. Feel free to comment/DM me if you have any questions about these!

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 36

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Your royal Highness, how do you feel about the game?" a reporter asks.

"So nervous. But also very excited, like many people in the country and around the world."

"Do you think they are bringing it home?" another one asks.

"I think they can do it, yes."

"Ma'am, can you give us a result? How do you think the game will end?"

"Oh, that's tough. But I'll say... 2-0."

"Scorers?"

"Mason and..."

"Rice?" the reporter says, making the others laugh.

"Saka" I reply, giving them my best smile. "Mount and Saka."

"Your Royal Highness, how are the players feeling? What's the mood inside the hotel?" one asks.

"They all are ready and very focused. They know how important this game is for everyone."

"Did you speak with Rice, ma'am?"

"I did. He's the captain, isn't he?" I chuckle, trying to sound as unbothered as I can.

"How is he feeling? Did you wish him luck?"

"I wished everyone luck."

"Are the rumours about you and him getting back together true?"

"We are done here" David says.

"Everyone is expecting you to make your relationship public again after the game, ma'am."

"Thank you, everyone" I smile as David pushes me inside the car, slamming the door shut behind me.

"You shouldn't have stopped to talk with them" he says after joining me.

"It's ok, David."

"I disagree. But have you thought about it?"

"Thought about what?" I ask as the car starts moving.

"About what are you going to do if they win. I'm sure you'll want to join Roberta on the pitch and celebrate with them. But will you be able to contain yourself? Will Declan be able to?"

"I don't know" I sigh. "But honestly? I don't care."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that if I end up making out with him on the pitch, I won't give a fuck about what anyone says."

"Eleanor, you are the future Queen of England. And by the looks of it, he will be the future king. You can't make your relationship public like that" David says. 

"It can't be worse than what some of my predecessors have done" I shrug. 

"Eleanor…"

"If that's how it happens, then so be it, David. My boyfriend would have won the World Cup, and that would be the only thing that would matter, not what the history books or Wikipedia will say."

"All right, then… The princess and the football player it is" he teases me while trying not to smile.

"And we are very proud of that title" I reply, sticking out my tongue and making him laugh.

They've been using it against us and to make fun of us since they found out about our relationship, but we don't care anymore. That's who we are, after all. A princess and a football player who have fallen in love, and we are not ashamed of it. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Eleanor..."

"Roberta, I'm gonna be needing my arm in three minutes, but if you keep squeezing it like that..."

"I know, I'm sorry" she says, letting go of it. "But they are gonna win!"

"Shh, don't jinx it!"

"Sorry, sorry. I hoped that after dating Mason for six years I would be used to this, but..."

"You will never get used to this. Especially when they are playing the World Cup final and winning."

Because they are doing it. In less than two minutes, we'll hear the referee's whistle and England will have won their second World Cup. And who will be the one lifting the trophy? Declan. Just thinking about it makes me feel goosebumps everywhere.

"These are the longest two minutes of my life!" Sophie says next to me, everyone around us screaming after one of our players is tackled.

"Why isn't he ending this already?" Roberta asks, covering her face with her hands.

"Thirty seconds..." I say, grabbing Sophie's hand.

"Fucking end this!" someone shouts behind us.

And then... The whistle.

"Eleanor!" Roberta screams, jumping to hug me. "Oh my God, they did it!"

"They did it!" I scream back, hugging her and starting to cry.

"They fucking did it!" Sophie says, joining our hug.

I'm pretty sure we have a camera recording us, that someone has been keeping an eye on us the whole game and now they are seeing us cry and laugh all at the same time, definitely looking a bit crazy. But neither of us care. England just won the World Cup, and in my case and Roberta's, the men we love are World Cup champions.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Eleanor!"

"Hi! Congratulations!" I say, hugging Bukayo.

"Thank you!" he smiles. "And thank you for saying I would score today. I think you manifested it."

"You are very welcome" I laugh.

"B, congratulations!" Roberta says, also hugging him.

"Thank you, thank you."

"Have you seen Mason and Declan? We can't find them anywhere."

"They actually were looking for you on the stands, but then saw some friends and stopped to chat with them" he says, pointing behind him.

"Would you mind going to tell them that we are waiting for them here?"

"Of course not. Wait a minute" he smiles.

"Thank you, B. You are an angel" I say.

"Mase!" Roberta screams when they finally show up, throwing herself at him and almost making him fall.

"David..." I say when I see Declan.

"Ok, fine. Go" he sighs.

"Thank you!" I say, kissing his cheek and walking towards Declan. He is looking at Mason and Roberta kissing, he and Bukayo making fun of them. "Hey, captain Rice" I call.

"Your Royal Highness" he says while doing a big bow, a playful smile on his lips.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you very much, ma'am."

While we smile at each other like idiots, a buch of photographers have gathered around us, ready to get the photo.

"Should we give them what they are waiting for?" I ask.

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure."

"Then come here" Declan says, putting one hand behind my neck and the other on my back, moving me until we are kissing like in that famous photo of the sailor and the girl on Times Square, people cheering all around us.

"That's gonna be on so many covers tomorrow" I chuckle when I'm standing up again, my arms around Declan's neck. "A bunch of history books too."

"I know. That's why I did it" he says, brushing his lips against mine before kissing me again, more cameras flashing around us.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Wait, we are missing something."

"Are we?"

"Yes, wait here."

"Declan, where are you going?" I complain.

"You'll like it, you'll see" he smiles.

"I was already liking what you were doing."

"This will make it even better" he says, showing me his medal.

"What... What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing weird, don't worry" he chuckles. "I just want to fuck my girlfriend while she wears my world champion medal."

"Oh, ok."

"Come here" he says, stopping at the end of the bed and asking me to join him.

"Now what?" 

"Now this" he says, putting the medal around my neck. "How does it feel?"

"Cold."

"But it fits so nicely between your boobs."

"It does, doesn't it?" I say with a mischievous smile.

"Wish I had the Polaroid camera here with me. This deserves to be remembered."

"We can repeat it back home. It won't be the same, but..."

"Yeah..." he says, his eyes fixed on my chest.

"So, Declan Rice, England's captain and World Cup winner. Are you gonna fuck me or not?"

"Oh, I am, your Royal Highness. I definitely am" he says with that smile of his that is able to set my body on fire, making me giggle like an idiot while he pushes me down on the bed.

"I love you, Declan" I whisper.

"I love you too, Eleanor" he whispers back before kissing me.

[lauratheghost]

My trip to Montreal

& the Sleep Token show

(long post below)

The Trip:

I went with my sister, who did the driving. The drive there was awesome. We left at 5:30 a.m. and there was no traffic at all. The border took five minutes. We laughed at the "warning Canada ahead" sign (that was like five feet in front of the border 😂)

It was like an hour of driving through massive farms before we reached the city? Idk why but I didn't expect the farms.

Driving in Montreal was another story. It was terrifying 😭 I have car anxiety in general but it was so stressful. It made traffic in Boston not seem so bad. The way the lanes were marked was confusing to us, and some of the signs were also confusing. We hit a speed bump going crazy fast because we had no idea what the sign meant and the actual bump on the ground wasn't yellow (now it seems obvious though, ok 🤷🏼‍♀️😂) and the buses drive crazy fast and one cut us off and almost hit us.

Our phones didn't work as soon as we crossed the border. We tried to add a global package to our plans but it still didn't work. This was only a major problem because we needed GPS. If we missed a turn we would have to find a Harvey's or Starbucks or something to get their wifi and reroute. It took us a long time to get to Laval 😂

Once we got to the hotel we parked the car and didn't use it again until we left. But we took taxis and that was cool! I don't think I've ever taken a taxi before and the drivers were really nice.

We loved our hotel and we could see Place Bell from our window. The area was so nice, and very clean for a city. It feels like Laval is an up-and-coming city because of all the construction we saw, and our hotel was also new apparently.

Everything was so cheap? The lattes I bought were like $6 CAD so $4.40 USD. In my hometown, lattes are double that. All the food and snacks were such a good deal. I stopped obsessively checking my bank account after a while because everything seemed so inexpensive 😂 (Also, I'm a cheap person so this is saying something lol)

It was more of a culture shock than I expected. I knew it was going to be a lot of French but I guess I didn't grasp the reality of that until I was there. Thank God I took french in high school. I could not really hold a conversation, but I could read some signs and menus and kind've get the jist of what people were saying to me.

Everyone was so kind and helpful. We asked a lot of strangers questions and they were all very nice. I only had two small experiences with rude people (and I laughed about it)

Crosswalks were also a bit scary lol. It was weird that some cars still go when the crosswalk button goes off. In my area, all directions of traffic stop while people cross.

My hotel was 50 % people with Sleep Token shirts and 50 % hockey players 😂

We LOVE Tim Hortons 😍 Their iced mocha latte was amazing. I wish I had one in my town now.

Three days went by so fast! It felt like one day.

We went to Mount Royal Park, the Cosmodome, the Biosphere, and La Rhonde. I rode the ferris wheel even though I'm scared of heights. I think my heart stopped for a second but the view was beautiful. 😂🥰

Some random things we noticed- nobody really wears jeans or Crocs 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 everyone dresses a bit nicer. And we didn't see any cops besides event security the entire time we were there, which is unheard of in Massachusetts, I see cops drive by twenty times a day everyday probably. There were lilacs everywhere which I loved. So many people biked- it made me want to be more healthy and active. Public transport seemed very available and I'm jealous of that because public transport where I am is trash.

Can you drink in public? Idk, but we saw a guy drinking a twisted tea while casually crossing the road lol.

The Show:

People were lined up starting around 7 pm the night before 👀

At 5:30 a.m. there was maybe ten or fifteen people camped out with tents and everything. I applaud their dedication, but I could never 😭

I kept an eye on the line and once the merch stand opened I went over and bought a shirt beforehand. I got a t-shirt with the tour dates on it 🖤

The line system seemed really unorganized. Nobody knew what line went where. Besides that, getting inside was easy and I liked the venue.

Our seats had a good view, but we were so high up it made me a bit anxious. It was a little hard to see III because of the fog/lights, and Espera was kind've blocked by a light fixture, but I had a great view of IV and II which made me really happy 🥰

ESB's opening set: So, they are not exactly my cup of tea BUT I don't think they deserve the hate they've been getting. My only problem was that the singers scream sounded the same over and over. I wasn't sure if he was saying the same phrase or not, but it made every song sound the same. They did have some good moments though! There was a moment where he screamed lower/more gutteral and I liked that more. There was also a moment where the guitar and instruments sounded really cool but I can't explain it. I was glad to see they had a little mosh pit going too.

Sleep Token was amazing as expected. I'm forever in awe of how good Vessel sounds live. I was so happy I could see II good too, I loved watching his little dances and hand gestures. I saw III do his little swimming motion and he did get a pit! A pretty big one too from what I saw. I didn't expect them to hand out drumsticks and stuff so early, because they didn't play TMBTE or Euclid yet- but they were just doing that fake-out encore thing I guess. 😂

I love the diversity of the fans at their shows- all types of people and all ages and it's so nice to see 🖤 The guy sitting beside me did not look like someone I would expect to listen to Sleep Token, but he was singing every word and recording all the same parts of their songs as me 😂

After the show I got to meet @shatterthefragments !!! It was so great, and they made awesome ST keychains- I will treasure mine forever 🖤

I still haven't really processed any of this yet because after the show I was constantly busy- between packing up and doing the few last things we wanted to do in the city, and then driving five hours back home. There's videos and pictures from this weekend that I haven't even looked at yet. I will definitely post some videos or photos here soon though

Overall, I give this trip a 9/10

I'm so glad I impulsively bought tickets and got my passport renewed. It was so fun and it makes me wanna travel more in the future. 🖤

[scotianostra]

November 13th 1850 saw the birth of Robert Louis Stevenson in Edinburgh.

As the author of such classics as Treasure Island, Kidnapped and The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Stevenson is known the world over, instead of reeling off the usual facts about the life of the man I thought I would dig up some facts that are not so well known.

When Stevenson first wrote Treasure Island, he submitted his stories under nom-de-plume of Captain George North to a children's periodical called Young Folks.

He may have invented the sleeping bag; according to the Stevenson House website: "R.L.S. has a good claim to be the inventor of the Sleeping Bag, taking a large fleece-lined sack with him to sleep in on the journey through France described in his book Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes." For the record, his six-foot square sleeping sack was made of "green waterproof cart-cloth without and blue sheep's fur within".

Stevenson collected corselets (a sort of protective girdle) and was particularly proud of his ones from the Gilbert Island, which were designed to offer effective protection against sharks’ teeth weapons, throwing spears and European knives and bayonets. They were made of coconut fibre and decorated with human hair. They were given to him by King Tembinoka, the Tyrant of the Island of Apemama.

He had wooden teeth, when he was living in America in 1878 and pursuing the unhappily married Fanny Vandegrift Osbourne - a woman 11 years his senior - Stevenson lived in San Francisco's Chinatown. He was lonely and in poor health and while in Tubbs Hotel he had trouble with a bleeding mouth and rotten teeth. A local dentist removed all his teeth and fitted him with false wooden replacements. He married Fanny shortly afterwards.

As well as a writer, he was also a keen musician and composer, Stevenson played the piano and flageolet and wrote more than 100 original musical compositions and arrangements, including solos, duets, trios and quartet. His works include ten songs written to his own poetry.

He burnt the first draft of Jekyll & Hyde, the story was promoted by a dream he had while in Bournemouth of a "fine bogey tale", was written around the same time as Kidnapped and was partly based on Deacon Brodie, the 18th-century Edinburgh cabinetmaker. His wife Fanny complained that he had not made the allegory strong enough and he tossed the 30,000 word manuscript into the fire. Then in "a white heat", using a quill pen and ink pot, he stayed in bed for three days and wrote a new version. He would later claim that it was the worst thing he ever wrote but The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde sold 40,000 copies in its first six months on sale in 1886.

Long John Silver stayed at the Royal Infirmary. Treasure Island character Long John Silver was based on poet WE Henley, who RLS frequently visited at the Royal Infirmary. Henley suffered from tuberculosis of the bone and acquired a wooden leg after having his left leg amputated in 1868.

He left a number of books unfinished before his untimely death in Samoa on December 3rd 1894. Reports at the time said he had died of "apoplexy" due to the heat. It was also described as a stroke and a cerebral haemorrhage brought on by straining to opening a jar of mayonnaise. Or a bottle of wine. No one is sure. He was only 44.

Stevenson was buried in a grand ceremony on Mount Vaea, Upolu and his tomb is inscribed with the words: “Home is the sailor, home from the sea,/And the hunter home from the hill.” On the day he died he had been dictating words for his unfinished novel The Chief Justice's Clerk. He also left behind an uncompleted novel called St Ives (the story of a French prisoner who made his escape from Edinburgh Castle), The Young Chevalier, Heathercat and Weir of Hermiston.

Stevenson wrote his own inscription on his grave, the full verse reads...

Under the wide and starry sky,

Dig the grave and let me lie.

Glad did I live and gladly die

,And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:

Here he lies where he longed to be;

Home is the sailor, home from sea,

And the hunter home from the hill.

[marcmarcmomarc]

Miraculous

Chapter 14: Final Attempt

(In their villa, Adrien’s group finishes their plotting.)

ADRIEN: So, we all agree? We make sure Marinette is alone so we can actually talk to her?

(The group agrees. At ICON Park…)

MARINETTE: So, we all agree? You guys hide while they attempt to talk to me, then on my mark, you guys ambush them?

(Everyone agrees. Adrien and his group leave the hotel.)

ADRIEN: Please work, please work, please work.

(Later, they arrive at ICON Park and find Marinette strolling around by herself.)

ADRIEN: There.

(They approach.)

MARINETTE: Ugh. You again?

ADRIEN: Hang on. I know. The sight of us instinctively makes you want to call on your new friends. But think about it. If we’re this persistent, then we must really want you back as a friend. What you’ve done since Heroes’ Day is really good stuff. So, do you accept this token of honesty and agree to return with us?

(Marinette just gives Adrien a half-lidded “Are you serious” look.)

MARINETTE: Isn’t that just your “Everyday Ladybug” speech from Heroes’ Day? And look how well that lasted! Sorry, guys. Actually, no, I’m not. Now, guys!

(As the Crossover Characters leap out of their hiding places, Adrien and the group bolt away once again.)

ADRIEN: And I had hope for this one!

MARINETTE: And don’t think you’ll get out unscathed this time!

ADRIEN: What is she talking about?

(Just then, two stinging glow urchins whiz past him and hit Ondine.)

ONDINE: Ow!

(Her cheeks puff out.)

ADRIEN: What the-

(Urchins, normal pies, banana peels, sports balls, mud pies, filthy diapers, music speakers, melted cheese, uprooted pine trees, axes, and gunshots of the PX-49 antidote whiz past them, thrown and fired by the Crossover Characters’ allies from Municiberg, New Urbem, Royal Woods, Great Lakes City, Scotland, the Boov and Gorg ships, Chicago, Santa Cécilia, Bird Island, Piggy Island, Eagle Island, Pop Village, Bergen Town, Volcano Rock City, Vibe City, Lonesome Flats, Techno Reef, Symphonyville, Hole N’ Fun, Mount Rageous, Vacay Island, TrollsTopia, Chew and Swallow, Gravity Falls, New Berk and the surrounding lands, Monstropolis, the suburbs where Gru resides, Freedonia, Mayflower, Transylvania, Santa Cruz, and Camp Winnepacaca, standing on the sidewalks and overpass. The gang tries their best to avoid the flying projectiles. Alya is hit by an urchin in the neck and instantly swells up.)

ALYA: Ah!

(As she grabs it, her hand puffs up.)

ALYA: Ah!

ADRIEN: It’s okay, shake it off!

(Adrien steps on a banana peel and slips, then gets whacked in the eye with a tennis ball.)

POLLY PAIN: Nailed you, bro!

(Alya and Nino pass and lift him to his feet.)

NINO: Come on!

(Adrien hobbles along in pain. Mylène and Ivan duck to avoid flying tennis balls and mud pies.)

MYLÈNE: Ivan, careful!

IVAN: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine-!

(Ivan’s face puffs out and they scream. Now not looking where they’re going, they step onto a pile of soccer balls and slip. Rose sees them and goes back, helping them to their feet.)

ROSE: Come on!

(She runs off in a panic and starts getting pummeled with urchins, PX-49 gunshots, mud pies, tennis balls, and dodgeballs. A Key Lime Pie flies into her mouth. Her face swells from an allergic reaction. Benny Stein fist bumps another clown. Further down the road, the gang arrives at a group of helicopters hanging more normal pies, dirty diapers, music speakers, axes, and urchins from ropes. Adrien ducks one urchin, but falls off balance and he loses control, running face-first into another urchin.)

ADRIEN: Yikes! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

(Nora puts her head down and barrels through the ropes, getting zapped along the way. One rope carrying a dirty diaper swings into Juleka’s face, making her retch. A rope carrying a dodgeball swings into Alix’s face.)

ALIX: Ow!

ADRIEN: Forget dodging! Just run!

(The group barrels through the painful projectiles toward the hotel lobby, taking every ounce of pain, including every zap from every urchin, along the way. Finally, they arrive at the lobby and race to the elevator, badly wounded and swollen. They open it and hurry inside. Adrien closes it just as their pursuers arrive.)

MARINETTE: Dang it!

LUNA-TK: At least that should let them know never to get near you again.

MARINETTE: Absolutely.

(Upstairs, the group arrives at their villa.)

CHLOÉ: Adrien, please don’t make another plan to send us near them again.

ADRIEN: No. We’re done.

[bitemescftly]

fcked up scenarios i wanna write:

tw: mentions of step/in.cest , abo , d.ub con , che.ating , age gaps , bree.ding , kn*ts , free use

anna crawling into her step/dad/brother 's bed bc she's having nightmares or there's a storm coming or there's only one bed available at the hotel - and instead of sleeping she is now full of his c*ck, keeping the c.um all plugged up inside of her,

my muse as an om.ega who has just entered her heat in this very public place and it's up to your muse to fuck her since they're the strongest alp.ha within the arena - doesn't matter if they know each other or not, or if they're connection is tab.oo / forb.idden,

anna as the royal pet, available for the king to use her however he wishes & whenever he wishes. she sleeps in his bed if he wants her to, kneels at his feet during important meetings, sits in his lap naked during feasts and wearing nothing but some expensive jewels to show off the king's power over,

your muse ( an older, rich, dangerous, important man ) taking anna as their br.eeding pet - because they need an heir for their empire and there would be nothing more lovely than a young, pretty girl swollen with their baby,

need the plot of “anna is pregnant with your muse’s baby and your muse’s wife is just so supportive bc she doesnt know the baby is his….”

mating run kinda plot, my muse as one of the few f.ertile women taking part of the annual run where the men get to chase them through the woods and whoever they catch it's just mounting & fucking right there on the forest floor,

okay but a ‘se.x only’/sugar da.ddy kind of a deal that our muses agree on but while the se.x is amazing, anna is desperate for some sort of closeness and physical contact afterwards as well and your muse has never been much of a touchy person, never one for cuddles….. until the two of them fall asleep together one time, or anna comes into his bedroom in the middle of the night and crawls into his bed bc she’s so needy for the warmth and to be held…. basically give me a 'my love language is physical contact’ & a 'what are you doing stop touching me wait- it feels kinda nice’ kind of a ship.

who will give my anna a str*pper & the nightclub owner / bouncer / rich client plot , bc damn gurl the angst, sin & dangerous vibez are what i live for

your muse slipping lactation inducing drugs into my muse's meals until her tits grow nice and big with milk, keeping her on them until they’re constantly weeping and she's begging your muse to milk her,

marrying a werewolf and getting immediately bred at the altar, literally tying the knot

c.ult / rel*gion plots,

free use plots,

public spaces where men can go to fuck, anna being put into stocks or a gIoryhoIe kind of a setting bc she broke the law or smthg and your muse can use her however they like, no matter what,

a;so give me your older, fcked up, p.erverted muses and let them ruin anna pls :)

any of the above can be mixed, adjusted or changed. bonus points for making their connections fucked up and forbidden :) double bonus points for including as many k*nks as possible.

[fragwuerdiger-episodenguide]

(038) Die drei ??? und der unsichtbare Gegner

Klappentext

Ben Peck, Peters Großvater, hat eine Reihe von Erfindungen gemacht und jetzt will er eine davon in New York verkaufen. Aber er hat ständig Angst, dass man ihm sein geistiges Eigentum stiehlt. Da ist vor allem Ed Snabel. Was hat dieser Mann vor? Warum verfolgt er Ben Peck? Die drei Detektive erleben eine atemberaubende Jagd quer durch Amerika ... 

Veröffentlichungshistorie

Buch (Random House): 039, 1984, M. V. Carey, The Mystery of the Trail of Terror Buch (Kosmos): 037, 1986, Leonore Puschert (aus dem Amerikanischen übertragen) Hörspiel (Europa): 038, 1986

⁉️ Allgemein

Handlungsort

(Siehe Orte)

Kategorie

Betrug

Figuren

Justus Jonas

Peter Shaw

Bob Andrews

Mrs. Shaw, Mutter von Peter

Ben Peck, Großvater von Peter

Mr. Ed Snabel, Nachbar von Ben Peck und Spion (😈)

Bartlett (😈)

Passant (kein Name genannt)

Mr. Anderson, FBI Agent

🏖 Rocky Beach Universum

Orte

Pismo Beach, Stadt in Kalifornien

Monterey, Stadt in Kalifornien

San Francisco, Stadt in Kalifornien

Coeur D'Alene, Stadt in Idaho (?)

Mount St. Helens, aktiver Vulkan in Washington State

Rochester, Stadt in Minnesota

La Crosse, Stadt in Wisconsin

New York, Stadt in New York

Einrichtungen

Staedler Royal, Hotel in New York

Sonstiges

Fat shaming Justus wird beleidigt

🛼 Sonstiges

Lustige Dialoge

Justus: "Ach, ich müsste wirklich mal abnehmen."

Passant: "Gibt es Ärger mein Herr?" Bartlett: "Mein Junge ist nur manchmal etwas.... schwierig." Bob: "Das ist eine Entführung! Holen Sie die Polizei, Mister! Der Kerl ist nicht mein Vater! Ich kenn ihn überhaupt nicht!" [...] Bob: "So, Ralph so mein Name sein? Hier, hier, hier ist mein Schülerausweis, Sir – mit Bild – und da steht Bob Andrews drin!"

Phrasenschwein

-

����️‍🌈 Queer/diversity read

Shippy moments

Justus: "Und es ist für uns ein Privileg, mit dem FBI zusammenzuarbeiten–" Bob: "Bla, bla, bla ..." Peter: "Pummelchen, komm zur Sache. Das interessiert Mr. Anderson nicht."

Diversity, Political Correctness and Feminism

-

[beardedmrbean]

Five people have been killed and six injured after a car crashed into a pub’s outdoor dining area in Australia.

A white BMW SUV mounted the curb into the front lawn of the crowded Royal Daylesford Hotel in Daylesford, Victoria, just after 6pm on Sunday, police said.

Among the five killed were two minors.

A boy, two men in their 30s and a woman in her 40s died on the spot, said Victoria police chief commissioner Shane Patton.

A girl, reportedly a teenager, was airlifted to Alfred hospital in Melbourne where she later died on Sunday evening. The victims of the incident have not yet been named by police.

The driver of the car, a 66-year-old man, was injured in the crash and taken to hospital after he suffered shock and minor injuries, said police chief Patton.

The man remains under police guard.

“There were, in essence, two... different family groups that were known to each other who were significantly involved and impacted by this,” Mr Patton said.

The pub was filled with hundreds of patrons when the incident happened, ahead of the weekend before the Melbourne Cup Day public holiday on Tuesday.

The car had mounted a kerb and hit the patrons. Photos showed chaotic scenes in the aftermath of the crash.

Among those injured, a 35-year-old woman is said to be in a serious condition. She is being treated at the Royal Melbourne hospital’s intensive care unit.

The others who were injured included a 11-month-old baby, a six-year-old boy, a 38-year-old man and another woman in her 40s. Authorities said they are all in a stable condition.

The 11-month-old baby was flown to Ballarat Base hospital, while the six-year-old child was taken to the Royal Children’s hospital.

The man and woman were flown to Royal Melbourne hospital.

Mr Patton refuted suggestions that there was a delay in the police response as “totally incorrect”.

“The station was staffed, two police officers heard the collision and as I understand ran to the scene, it’s a matter of a couple of 100 meters or so, and they were some of the first officers on the scene,” he said.

“And they did exactly what they’re trained to do and we’re very proud.”

Several businesses in the area remained closed on Monday as community members attended the site of the accident and laid flowers on Monday.

Superintendent John Fitzpatrick called the incident “horrible” and said they are waiting to speak to the driver.

“The car crashed into an area that has been set up really post-Covid with lots of tables and chairs, not just for the Royal Hotel, there’s an ice-cream shop there as well, so there (would have been) a lot of families,” a witness told ABC Local Radio.

“And it was a really warm night, and we’ve got a long weekend... so it was pretty busy last night,” the witness said.

“It will really have shocked a lot of people, and I think we’re really only just be coming to terms with what happened today.”

[paytato435]

Chapter 7: Stability

Sunshine

Casey carefully noted the time he left the library and figured, with a little embellishment, he could easily explain away why he would be so late getting home everyday. And if he really needed help with homework, at least he’d have something to talk to Big Mama’s turtle about.

That sounded really boring. Maybe he shouldn’t do that.

But Angel had somehow made world history more interesting, and he could tell she was very interested in the subject. She went over the driest facts and notes and somehow turned it into legend. Which kind of amused Casey because she didn’t seem to be the type of person to be into such things. Well, who was Casey to judge? Appearances hardly meant anything these days.

Feeling more optimistic than he had in a while, Casey found himself arriving all too quickly to the Grand Nexus Hotel. 

As it turned out, Big Mama’s idea of getting her prisoners to socialize was to lock the both of them in the musk turtle’s bedroom. It was huge. Trophies, medals, and large paintings covered the four royal purple walls. There was a large armoire on the wall adjacent to him, and an ornate vanity across the room. Horrifyingly, there was the head of a stuffed ogre yokai mounted above the bed.

The bedroom also had a window looking over the arena- Casey had to admit, it was a pretty sick view. When he approached the glass, the girl followed him too.

“So, do you actually talk at all?” She just looked at him with curious brown eyes.

Cool, very cool.

“At least you have a good view of the arena. It’s something to watch. Are you in here all day?” 

The girl shook her head. Casey turned around and looked at all the paintings on the walls. Most of them were portraits of Big Mama’s champions; posing, dying, ripping apart their competitors. It was a little hard to look away from it all.

“This place is claustrophobic,” he whispered, more to himself than to the girl. He did a little circle of the room, before plopping down on the bed. “What do you do all day?”

The girl turned back to face the window and sat down on the floor.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Casey watched her for a couple minutes as she stared out at the arena. Far down below, Mama’s ever triumphant kraken swung its nasty arms at a horde of small mice yokai. Or maybe they were hamsters- they were too small and too far away to tell.

Casey sat back down next to the girl.

“Big Mama says you don’t remember anything from before she picked you up. Is that true? Are you a yokai, or a mutant like me? Do you even know?” the girl shrugged her shoulders.

“I wish we knew your name. Stinkpot is an awful thing for her to call you.” she nodded.

Without even really thinking about it, Casey signed; ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine, don’t worry,’ she signed back.

“Wait… you sign?” Casey jumped, scooting back and turning to face her.

‘Sometimes.’

“Do they know? Are you mute?”

‘No, sometimes I am mute.’

‘Yes.’ It was enthusiastic, as if she’d finally been understood.

“Do you want to talk, not out loud I mean, but-”

‘Where did you learn to sign?’ she asked.

‘My dad,’ he answered without thinking much about it. “And my uncles.”

“We used it for signals, mostly. I don’t know a lot more than the basics, just for like… when I need to be silent.” the girl nodded.

‘Where did you learn to sign?’ she shook her head. Right, of course she wouldn’t know that. 

‘Sorry.’

‘I don’t belong here,’ she signed, looking a little sad.

“No, you don’t.”

‘Can you get me out of here?’

Casey took a breath. He wished he could break her out of here. But he couldn’t help her. If he did, he’d lose his cloaking charm. He couldn't let that happen.

‘I can’t.,’ he signed. He hated lying to her, but he had to figure himself out first. He needed his cloaking charm back, he needed himself back. Instead, he changed the subject.

‘What do you know about yourself?’

The turtle leaned back and scrunched her face together, as if trying desperately to remember something.

‘I love yellow. It’s my color.’

‘Life color?’

‘Yes.’

“Like your patterns?” Casey asked, looking at the yellow markings on her cheeks.

‘Like… sunshine. Call me Sunshine.’

“Sure! I like that. We could use some sunshine down here.” That made her smile.

'You have a family.' It was a question, inviting him to talk about his least favorite subject.

'I… I had a family,' he signed slowly. 'They are all gone now.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It's fine. I…'

Casey suddenly realized that he was having a conversation with someone completely unrelated to his future. The younger versions of his family weren't there.

'Could I… tell you about my dad?' he signed, nervously.

He committed to the ‘dad’ title. Spelling sensei wasn't worth it.

'I don't have anything to talk about,' Sunshine shrugged. 'Free real estate.'

Casey almost smiled. What was wrong with him?

'He passed away just recently,' Casey explained. How many days had it been? Somehow the days past had run together. Too many had passed. The knot in his stomach reminded him there would only be more to follow. He was constantly moving away from that moment at what felt like a breakneck speed. 'I didn't get to say goodbye.'

'What happened?'

Casey inched closer to the glass and put his forehead against the cool surface.

'He saved my life. We were under attack.'

Sunshine scooted up closer and he turned his head to watch her sign. He kept his cheek glued to the glass. He felt a little stupid doing it, but it kinda felt nice, too.

'I'm glad you are safe.'

'You and I are similar,' he noticed. 'No family. No home.'

'Then where do you go?'

'When I am not here I have a place to sleep. I go to school now, I guess. But where I am…' he took a deep breath. 'I don't belong.'

'Then we also have that in common.'

Casey forgot he wasn't trying to share things. He had deliberately left that out earlier.

'My dad wanted me here, but I sometimes wish I was back home.'

'But you said your family is gone? How could you go home?'

Casey had thought about this more than he cared to admit. There was nothing in the future for him. Sometimes he wondered if he could go back there just to be a part of that ending. Would he die? Most likely. But he could die anywhere, at any time. At least if he was there he would go to the same place his family was.

'I don't think I'll ever see them again,' he realized.

'Yeah, that's kind of what being dead means.'

Casey grimaced. He had been leaving her out of his thoughts too much.

'I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense.' he paused. He was also tired of explaining himself. 'I see them in my dreams sometimes… my family.'

'I don't have dreams anymore.'

'You mean you forget them? Most people do.' 

'I'm not exactly sure. I remember what dreams are, but that's it.'

Casey nodded in understanding.

'Do you know what color you are?'

'I'm pink,' he signed, smiling shyly.

'How do you know?'

'How do you know you're yellow?'

Sunshine looked out the window. She looked frustrated.

'I just do.'

"My uncle told me mine a long time ago," Casey whispered, joining her gaze. "He said it represents love and family."

'Ironic.'

"You don't have to tell me," he pulled up his knees to his chest.

'What does yellow mean to you?'

"Do you know?" Casey asked curiously.

Sunshine shook her head. 'I just have a vibe.'

"Colors are 100% vibe-based," Casey confirmed. "If you're the same yellow as your arms, that represents stability."

Sunshine wheezed.

"Stability?" The first word she said out loud made Casey snap to attention.

"Uh, yeah. Like the sun always rising in the morning. Reliable, patient, eternal."

“It doesn’t sound much like me,” Sunshine huffed. ‘I don't feel very stable right now,’ she admitted, lowering her head.

"If it makes you feel better, some people think it's all pseudoscience anyway. The life colors, I mean."

Casey remembered Donatello saying something similar once. At one time he would have agreed with him, but after his run in with Angel today…

"At the end of the day, it's just you," he shrugged. "Even if it's just a vibe, I think it's helped me get to know you better."

Sunshine nodded.

"What will you do when I'm gone?" he asked her curiously. It had occurred to him that she hadn't answered his question earlier.

'Mama has me training.' Sunshine signed again. 'Running, fighting, there's two others I see and train with, but I'm Mama's favorite.”

'Others?' Sunshine nodded.

'They don't remember anything either.'

'Turtles?'

'No.' she paused and thought about it for a minute. 'A pig-like thing and a rhinoceros.'

'Your competition, then?'

Sunshine nodded.

'Mama wants me to beat them both at my debut or whatever. They are… much bigger than me.'

'Rhinos are pretty big.'

When Casey looked into her eyes, he could see she now looked very afraid.

'Sometimes I can't even walk. I forget how to move. I fall over all the time. I can't beat them.'

'Why do you fall over?'

Sunshine rolled forward to her hands and knees to get up in what was clearly a struggle. It was like watching a toddler try to stand. When she was upright, she used the glass for a moment to balance herself.

The struggle was all too familiar, and realization hit Casey like a toddler run over by a shopping cart.

She was just like him.

'”Give me your hand, Casey.”

Casey looked down at his three fingers.

“Don't look at your hand Casey, just look at me.”

Casey couldn't look away. This was impossible. His fingers moved in a way he didn't expect. He'd often thought the third finger would act like his ring and pinky fingers together, but instead it was as strong and independent as his middle finger. He still felt that connection to his ring and pinky finger in his head, but when he tried to 'move' them, nothing happened. Instead, he tapped his 'middle' finger to his thumb repeatedly; morbid curiosity and a lingering feeling of fright hanging over him.

“Are you going to sit there all day, bud?”

“It's weird,” was all Casey offered his sensei as the larger turtle sat down next to him.

Leonardo offered up his own hand, and Casey took it. They were the same now. Well, sensei's hands were much larger and calloused, but the point still remained.

“You have to get up and walk at some point, Casey.”

“Yeah,” Casey agreed, but it was so hard. Having a shell on his back completely threw off his balance.

“The more you do it, the easier it gets.”

Just like squats, or running, Casey thought. But he was back to square one. Sure the muscle was still there, but the memory was not.

Leonardo took Casey's other hand and gently pulled him off the bed. “Lean forward,” he instructed.

Casey grumbled but complied, keeping his weight forward, his head nearly bumping into Leonardo's plastron.

“Too far, Case,” the slider smiled.

He scowled up at his sensei, but that movement tipped him too far back, and he fell back onto the bed.

He heard his sensei suppress a chuckle.

“How do you do it?” Casey asked angrily.

“Just keep trying.”

So Sunshine was a mutant too. That was hardly surprising. Big Mama had probably erased her memory so she wouldn't try to escape. She might actually have a family out there looking for her. This was really bad.

But Casey couldn't tell her that. If she knew, she'd probably freak out like he did, and it took him ages to get used to his body again. She had two weeks. They needed to stay focused on the situation at hand.

"I see what you mean," Casey said as he watched Sunshine walk across the room. She was doing better than he had, for sure, but he noticed she swayed a bit sometimes, and she was all too focused on the walking to say or do anything else. Another reason why she didn't talk much.

"When I come back tomorrow, we should practice walking," Casey suggested, standing up and moving next to her. He tried to give her room, but he was ready to catch her if need be.

She stopped and looked at him with broken eyes.

'Humiliating,' she signed, wobbling.

Yeah, he knew the feeling.

-

When Casey was finally released, he actually felt a little lighter than when he came in. He felt almost confident. Sure, the others were going to have questions, but he actually had some people he could talk to that weren't… a living breathing reminder of everything that he had lost. Yippee.

“Are you sure you need this back turtley-boo? All those little rough edges make you look so pontiferably dangerous.”

“Yes.” Big Mama rolled her eyes and handed him back the black cloaking charm. He quickly re-tied it around his ankle, and in a moment, he was Casey again. He could breathe again.

“You can come by anytime as long as it is everyday,” Big Mama told him, also handing back his bag. “Don’t think of running away. I have a tracking enchantment on you. I know where you are, always.”

He had been wondering how she was going to keep track of him.

“I have a question for you, Mama,” he stated, standing back up.

“Yes dearie?”

“What have you done to Synth?”

“Why, nothing fidgetbun! Synth is too useful to me. He’s not going anywhere,” she sighed. “And I’m watching you both, so don’t get any more nasty ideas.”

That was a surprise. He didn’t think she’d want him around after all that she’d overheard.

“You don’t know the name of the game do you?” Big Mama gave him a calculating smile.

“I have an idea,” Casey clenched his fists. In a twisted way, they were depending on each other. “But I suppose you aren’t about to let him make swords for Leo.”

Big Mama giggled.

“I couldn’t care less what those idiots get up to. We’ll just have to see what happens.”

Doctor Feelings II

"So, what happened today, Mr. Jones?" asked Dr. Feelings, peeking over his fake reading glasses.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one on the couch?" Casey asked, his head between his hands, and his butt in Splinter's old recliner.

"You watch too many movies, Mr. Jones. I'm the doctor here, I will be asking the questions."

Mikey squinted. “I just did, what happened today?”

“Ok, ask away.”

“Oh. Well…” What didn’t happen today? “I tried out for field hockey.”

“Field hockey huh? And how was that, did you have fun?”

“Actually, I did. Everyone said I played pretty well, but there was this one girl…”

“A girl, huh? I know all about those.” Casey glanced over at Mikey and saw he was scribbling away on a notepad- no, his drawing pad. He was doodling.

“She said I was a shit forward.”

“But you’ve never played hockey before!”

“Yeah, but it still kinda hurt.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Of course not!” Casey snapped defensively. That would probably only get Angel to tease him worse.

"Why not?"

Casey sat on his hands and didn't say anything.

"Is she cute?" Mikey asked, raising his brow.

"What?"

"The girl. Is she cute?"

“Of course she’s cute!” he blurted out without thinking about it.

The face Mikey made was so immediately excited and opportunistic that it made Casey regret talking to him in the first place.

“Are you going to ask her out?!” he asked, jumping up and down in his seat.

“What? No! Well, define ask out? We went to the library today-”

“You went on a study date?! Casey what the fuck it’s literally the first day of school!”

“Casey did what?!” Oh no. Oh no no no no no NO.

The last person he wanted to talk to about this poked his head out of their shared room.

“Casey went on a date?!” Leo asked, his smile so large and mischievous it made Casey want to scream.

“I did not!” Casey shouted, sounding all the more unconvincing.

“He did!” Mikey shouted back to Leo, only making the situation worse.

“What happened to client confidentiality!?” Casey argued, standing up and crossing his arms.

“I’m not licensed!” Mikey countered with a smile. “Do I get licensed in the future?”

“There aren’t licenses in the future!” Casey pointed out, fuming. Mikey seemed genuinely upset as he pouted, but Leo came in just in time to make things worse.

“Tell me all about your new girlfriend, Case,” he insisted, dropping himself onto the living room couch beside his brother.

“Absolutely not,” Casey scoffed. “And she’s not my girlfriend. We just went over history notes together.”

“But you like her. Does she like you?” Casey could not believe this was happening.

“You could ask her out to the Homecoming dance! It’s coming up,” Mikey offered.

“That’s literally two months away!” Casey pointed out.

“Well, you never know, someone else might have their eye on her,” Leo noted, pointing and raising his brow.

“We are done talking about this,” Casey asserted.

“You might be done talking about this,” Leo smirked. “But Splints is going to wanna have a sit down with you if you don’t tell us how your date went.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Casey whispered.

“Oh I dare,” Leo confirmed, lifting his feet up onto the couch and sprawling over Mikey. He pressed a middle finger gently to his temple. “I remember it like it was yesterday, the day Raph came home all excited with a crush on someone he had just bumped into in the Hidden City. Have you heard the story?”

“I could tell you yours if you want to,” Casey threatened.

“What?!” Leo suddenly lost his cool.

“If Splints has only given Raph the talk at this point, you guys are in for a world of pain,” Casey nodded.

“Even me?!” Mikey asked.

“Not as bad for you, Mikey,” Casey waved him off, looking down at the poor, helpless slider, and leaned down to get on his level.

“If you tell Master Splinter anything, I’ll let him know everything you get up to for the next twenty years.”

“How do you even know that?”

“Aside from your own over-dramatic monologues? Master Michelangelo told the best stories when he was wasted.”

Leo shot up from his position over his brother to give him a dangerous look. “You snitch!”

“I haven’t done anything!” Mikey yelped, popping into his shell reflexively. Leo jumped up to snatch at his brother, but Casey did it first, holding the boxed box turtle at arms length.

“Nuh uh uh!” he tutted. “I’m still having my session with him.”

“Well I think it’s probably my turn to take my feelings out on him,” Leo demanded.

“That’s not how therapy works!” Mikey squeaked from the safety of his shell. 

“Let him go, Leo. You can have him when I’m done,” Casey compromised.

Finally the slider relented, but he sure did not look happy about it.

“We are going to have so many words, hermano,” he puffed, before retreating back to his room.

“SO MANY WORDS!”

Casey had a feeling it was going to be more than just words.

“Is he gone?” Mikey whispered, poking his head out.

“Yeah, he’s gone,” Casey sighed, setting the turtle back down.

“Why’d you rat- why’d you snitch on me like that?” Mikey grumbled. “I haven’t even said anything!”

“It was funny, I guess,” Casey shrugged.

“If you think I’m going to help you out after that you’re insane.”

“Well you’re safe as long as you’re still talking to me,” Casey reasoned, only faintly recognizing that he sounded a bit like Big Mama as he did so.

“Fine,” Mikey huffed, picking his drawing pad back up. “But this is the last session for a while. I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t think I can either. I just needed him to shut up.” Casey leaned back into Splinter’s chair. It was scratchy and uncomfortable, but for some reason it just felt welcoming.

“I hear that,” Mikey nodded. “So you went on a date with the girl from field hockey, but you don’t want to talk about it. Anything else happen at school?” Casey didn’t think he had anything to say, but saw Mikey scratch his temple and he remembered something.

“There’s also a guy on the team who recognized me from the invasion.”

“WHAT?!”

“He saw my hockey mask in my bag.”

“April told you not to bring that!”

“I know, I know, but I get nervous not having my equipment with me.”

“I keep my nunchucks in my bag too.”

“Why do you bring your nunchucks to school?"

“Nuh uh uh, Mr. Jones. We’re here to talk about you. Why do you get nervous not having your gear with you?”

Because Casey never felt safe. Not really. There was always something out to get him.

Casey shrugged. “This is entirely unfair.”

“I’ll be having this conversation with myself later, don’t worry. Why do you bring your hockey mask to school?”

“In case something bad happens.”

“Like what?” Mikey was peeking over his drawing pad again. Casey crossed his arms.

“I’m not here to judge that.”

“I don’t know, like the technodrome exploding into the sky again. I know that’s ridiculous-”

“But you think it is.”

“It’s a little ridiculous,” Mikey admitted.

“Every morning I wake up and-”

“You have a silly little oatmilk coffee,” Mikey interrupted.

“Are you here to listen or what?!” Mikey ducked behind the drawing pad.

“I wake up thinking I’m back there again. In the future, and I… I have to remind myself that no, everyone is dead and that part of my life is forever over.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry I keep interrupting. That’s horrible,” Mikey apologized, looking down at the ground.

“Isn’t it? That guy I met today, Gavin, he helped me pull my hair back for practice and I jumped out of my skin because I couldn’t keep my eyes on him the whole time. Everything is a threat.”

“You let him help you though?”

“Yeah.”

“How was that?”

“That was nice. I think we could be friends.”

“That’s good. He was nice to you then?”

“Yeah.” Casey glanced over and tried to look at what Mikey was drawing, but Mikey shifted away.

“Back off Future Boy, these are the doctor’s notes. Doctors only.”

“You’re gonna grow hair one day," Casey told him suddenly.

“What?”

“You taught me how to tie my hair back, when I was little.”

Mikey looked like he couldn't decide whether to explode or melt into a puddle.

“That is soooooo cool,” he whispered. “When you’re born I’m going to be the cool uncle.”

“Am I even going to be born, though?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

Casey had thought about this before, probably too many times.

“There will probably be another Casey Junior, just… not me like you’re Master Michelangelo.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, Master Michelangelo is made up in part of your shared experiences with him. But a Casey born here will never have the same experiences I had.”

“And…. how does that make you feel?”

Casey dipped his chin into his chest.

“More lonely than ever before, I guess.”

“One of a kind,” Mikey noticed, in an attempt to cheer the boy up.

“Sure,” Casey shrugged. “Are we done here?”

“I mean, we’re done whenever you want to be…” Mikey glanced over to Leo and Casey’s room nervously.

“Cool, we’re done,” Casey sighed. “I want to go to bed.”

“Well… give me a head start before you go,” Mikey told him, putting the pad down and edging his way back towards the entrance to the lair.

“I’ll give you ten seconds.”

Mikey sprinted away faster than Casey could blink.

But it wouldn’t be faster than Leo could chase him.

-

"Hey, where ya goin’, Pink?"

"Angel? Did I forget something?" Casey turned around and saw his fellow sophomore running to catch up to him. She was still wearing her field hockey clothes, but she was carrying her cleats in hand. She was only wearing her socks?

"Uh, what? No. I just… I needed to talk to you," she said between breaths.

"Do you… wanna change your shoes first?"

The color from Angel’s face, despite its rosyness from practice, seemed to drain away entirely as she looked down at her feet.

"Oh, uh, yeah.” She flashed her teeth at him with a frustrated expression on her face. “Give me a second, would ya?" She unzipped her bag and pulled out her street shoes. She struggled to keep her balance as she tried to pull one of them on.

"You can sit down if you want to," Casey offered, tilting his head to one side.

"On the sidewalk? No thanks."

Casey sat down on the sidewalk next to her. "It's not so bad," he shrugged.

With a huff, Angel let herself fall next to him, bumping into his shoulder as she went down.

"Hey, watch it!"

"You watch it, Pink. You would be the kind of guy to just sit wherever.”

"What does that mean?" he asked, even though he couldn’t help but smile.

Angel didn't answer, she just kept tying her shoes.

"Does it have to do with my pinkness again?"

Angel gave him a glare.

"Let me guess, you're purple. Does that make us a pair?"

Angel blushed, and Casey cracked up laughing.

"Ugh, Pink fuck! What is wrong with you?"

“And Pink Fuck, what’s up with that? Couldn’t think of anything better?” he teased her.

“Well what should I call you, Jones? You’re a big mess of colors dancing all over the place.”

“How does that work anyway, seeing people’s colors?” he asked, curious.

“It just does,” she shrugged. “What’s it like not seeing people’s colors?” she shot back, making a face at him.

She was unbelievable.

Angel finished tying her shoes, and then stood back up.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" he asked, getting to his feet as well.

Angel dug around in her bag and pulled out a sheet of paper.

"It's our schedule… for the games. Congrats… uh… you made the team."

"Wait, really?" he answered in disbelief.

"Are you actually surprised?" She looked like he’d just asked her what color the sky was.

Casey raised his eyebrows. "I thought you said I was shit."

"I did," she tilted her chin up in a pout.

"So how did I make the team?"

"You're the only guy who tried out, dumbass!” she jammed the schedule to his chest.

"Oh, yeah, I guess so," he figured, taking the paper from her and looking at the print. It looked like they still had a couple weeks before their first game.

"But you do get to be a forward, so there is that," she sighed, re-zipping her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Cool."

"Cool."

Casey tilted his head.

"Was that… everything you had to tell me?" he asked.

He couldn’t help but notice her blush again. It was kinda cute. "Where were you headed? I thought we were going back to the library again."

"We are, but you were taking forever so I thought I’d meet you there."

“You were gonna leave me?!” she huffed, adjusting her bag.

“I mean I was kind of hoping you’d see me and hurry up…” he kicked his boot on the pavement.

Angel gave him a look he hoped meant she was mad but willing to let him get away with it.

“Whatever, let’s just go,” she told him, passing him and bumping into his shoulder again as she went.

-

“Thanks for joining the team, by the way,” Angel said as they returned to the library. “I think Gavin told you already, but we hardly have enough people to actually play… what with all the…” she waved her hands around. She hoped he got the idea.

“The what?” Casey did not get the idea at all.

“You know, everyone skipping town because of the… what do you call them? The… not human students?” She felt her face going red. Again. (She had to stop doing that.) She never could seem to remember the word…

“Oh… the yokai. Yeah, I get it,” Casey finally nodded. “Uh, thanks for having me I guess?”

She scrunched up her nose. “Don’t you dare back out, okay? I’ll find you if you do.” She hoped that sounded threatening, and not like some kind of promise.

“And do what exactly?” Casey smiled good-naturedly. She didn’t like that he was smiling at all.

Angel raised her fists and waved them like she was going to box him. “There’s a good reason they let me on the men’s field hockey team. Go ask any of them!”

“I believe you!” Casey chuckled. This guy…

Angel wanted to go on, but they were quickly shushed by a librarian, so they slinked over to their table in awkward silence.

“I’ve been meaning to ask Angel, and… you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but-”

“Wait, did Gavin tell you what’s going on?” She cut in before he could finish. She had seen that look on too many other people’s faces before. She really hoped he wasn’t going to…

“He mentioned one of your friends disappeared, yeah.”

Fuck.

“Not my friend,” she corrected. “My best friend,” she hugged her backpack close to her chest. “We’ve been friends since second grade.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Everyone says that.” Please shut up.

“Well…”

“It’s whatever,” Angel cut in again. “Nobody ever fucking knows what to say. Even if you did bring it up.” She squinted her eyes at him. For the love of god stop talking.

“You seem… kinda normal about it,” he couldn’t help but wonder. “Aren’t you worried?”

“Of course I’m worried!” she raised her voice. She heard someone from a table over shush her again, but she ignored them. “What do you care?” she pouted.

Casey bit his lip, and Angel wondered where he’d gotten the nerve to even bring this up.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

And then Angel saw it. As he apologized, she saw his colors shift. The neon pink faded to a light rose. She blinked in surprise. She hadn't seen that happen to anyone before.

Well, not anyone she knew. People usually only had one hue. Sometimes it fluctuated in brightness or in shade depending on their mood, but the actual color itself didn’t shift; their hue was tied to their personality. You can’t just change your personality.

That was something that had caught Angel’s attention when she had met Casey. Pink was a weird color to have. While technically most people would say it was a shade of red, she argued his hue was pinned right between red and her own red-violet. Magenta might be more accurate, but Pink Fuck was way funnier. Whatever the exact color was didn’t matter- it was the family it belonged to that bothered her.

Reds had an exceptionally passionate or aggressive personality, and she didn’t see it anywhere in him. If she were blind, she’d guess he was the polar opposite- cyan or seafoam green. He was unbelievably cool and easygoing, so much so that it didn’t make any sense to her. The image of a wolf in sheep’s clothing came to mind. At first she had been curious to find out if she could break the cool facade.

But now that his color had shifted further red (albeit up many shades lighter), the curiosity swung immediately to fear.

The unstable aura was as chaotic as those she saw on the people outside Marina's apartment.

It made her shiver.

"Hey, are you alright?" Casey asked. She looked away immediately, realizing she had just been staring right into his eyes.

"You really shouldn't have," she agreed with a mutter.

"I… yeah," Casey looked down at his hands pensively.

And why would he care? Why was he asking about her? Why was he so upfront about spending time with her? He had shown up ‘coincidentally’ just after Marina had disappeared. Angel stood up. She had to get out of here. Casey followed her with his eyes, but didn't make a move to stand.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this right now," she picked her bag up.

"No, I'm sorry," he apologized again, but also looked confused. At the very least, he didn't act like the strange people she had seen before.

But that didn't mean she could trust him. Something about him was incredibly wrong.

She felt terrible, but quickly made her exit without another word. He had been so nice to her, even when she was constantly picking on him. But it was also too nice. It almost felt like he was playing mind games with her. She wished she could forget seeing the hurt in his eyes before she walked away.

That would have made her exit a lot easier.

-

 Kind

"Let me see your stance," Casey offered, and he helped Sunshine stand up. It felt like the world was shifting under her feet, but the small musk turtle managed to keep her balance.

She took her stance, practice sword in hand.

"Oh, you are waaaaay overcompensating," Casey realized, bending down to match her.

"You're too far forward, you need to stand up a bit straighter."

"That's what Synth said but-" Sunshine straightened up all the way, and started to fall back; just like Casey had done when he was younger.

"Ah!" Casey caught her and tipped her forward. "That's too far! It's like you're trying to stand like a human-" he cut himself off.

"A what?" Sunshine blinked at him.

"A human. Humans don't have shells, so they're center of gravity is different," Casey explained.

"What’s a human?"

Casey pressed his hands together and pursed his lips in thought.

"You don't know anything about anything outside of this nexus, do you?"

"I know… some things," Sunshine frowned. "Like, I know what sunshine is, even though there isn't any here. I don't know where it is, but it's warm and bright."

"It seems like parts of your lost memories can come through but others can't? Or haven't? You know ASL…”

Sunshine could see Casey looked very uncomfortable.

'I don't think we should be talking about this,' he signed.

'Why not?'

'We are being watched.'

'So?'

Casey shook his head.

'Don't trust Big Mama.'

Sunshine could figure that much.

'I will try and come up with a solution that will get your memories back. In the meantime, we need to stay quiet. Keep each other safe.'

'Get me out of here,' Sunshine pleaded.

'I will, I promise.' He sighed and turned to stand next to her. “Let’s focus on getting your balance right. You need to find that sweet spot between straight up and too far forward. Mimic me.”

Casey stood upright, but then shifted forward ever so slightly. Sunshine moved to follow him.

“This is uncomfortable,” she noticed, feeling the weight of her shell press into her lower back.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s going to feel weird for a while, but you’ll get used to it.”

“How am I supposed to walk like this?”

“Slowly at first,” Casey took a step forward, and Sunshine followed him. She swayed a little, but otherwise kept upright. “Let’s just practice this for a bit,” he suggested, turning and facing her.

“Ok,” Sunshine turned to mimic him but wobbled, and in an attempt to catch herself, bumped into his head. “Ah!”

Casey backed up and caught her arm.

“Or, we might be here for a while,” he chuckled as she righted herself. Sunshine gave him a scowl, but she was secretly grateful for his help. He was also way more patient than Synth was, and kinder than anyone else she had encountered here in the Nexus. She had started looking forward to seeing him everyday.

But she could tell he was keeping something from her, too. All of them were. Of course her doctor knew, he didn’t even try to pretend that, he just outright refused to talk to her about anything. Synth tried to play dumb, but he was also a bad liar; he often caught himself saying things to her he shouldn’t. 

Like when he mentioned Casey's brother had visited. Sunshine had been complaining about her sword again when Synth snapped and told her off for being a whiny baby. (His words, not hers.) She had no respect for the weapon, just like that slider from before. He had been grumbling, and when Sunshine had asked what he was on about, he grumbled something about Casey's arrogant brother. Casey hadn't mentioned a brother- he had said all his family had died.

So while Casey was kind, he was also a liar.

Sunshine wondered how she could get him to talk. Not just because she was curious, but also because it seemed like something was haunting him. Ok, maybe the dead family had something to do with that….

Sunshine was making practice swings when the first question came to her:

"So you know how to fight, did you learn that from your dad?”

Casey, who had been standing by watching her, looked surprised by the question.

“My dad?”

“Uh, yes?” Casey’s cheeks flushed.

“Ah… well, I don’t always call him my dad you see. I was sort of using it as a shorthand…”

Sunshine gave Casey a frown. Oh boy, he was full of shit wasn’t he?

“Ok, I guess he was my dad,” Casey admitted, crossing his arms defensively. “I usually call him my sensei. It was… less confusing, I guess? Trust me, you don’t want me to get into it.”

“If it’s confusing… was he your brother’s sensei too?” Sunshine asked, confused.

Seeming just as confused, Casey looked at her like she’d just slapped him.

“Where are you getting this?” he asked cautiously, lowering his voice and inching towards her.

Sunshine shrugged. “Where am I getting what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, I’ve never mentioned having a brother to you.”

“But you do have one,” Sunshine smiled, narrowing her eyes.

“I have four,” he grumbled.

“You told me you didn’t have a family anymore,” Sunshine pointed out. “Do you wanna elaborate on that? Are you not on good terms with them…?”

“Synth told you about Leo didn’t he?” Casey realized.

“He told me your brother was arrogant.”

“That’s one word to describe him,” Casey sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“How would you describe him?” Sunshine asked.

“Why are we talking about this?”

“Because…” Sunshine shouldered her sword and placed one hand on her hip. “... everyone is keeping shit from me. What else do you want to talk about with a girl who doesn’t remember jack shit?”

“Yeah but… Leo of all people…”

“You told me your family was dead!” Sunshine barked, losing her patience. “Everyone in this fucking place lies to me. Do I actually care about your brother? Probably not, but I thought you’d be different from the others at the very least. They’re keeping secrets from me; every. single. one of them. I have nothing to do but sit around here in this room and think all day. Think about nothing besides how much I don’t want to be here surrounded by a bunch of selfish and evil people!”

Casey leaned against the wall of the training room. He looked down at the floor for a moment, before facing her.

“I can’t tell you everything I know,” he explained, massaging his fingers. “But my brothers are part of the reason why I’m here. And as long as I am visiting you here, they can’t know what I’m doing. If you see them, you can’t approach them. Big Mama would be very much against it. If they notice you, turn the other way and don’t look back. They might even want to talk to you, chase you even, but you can’t let them know what we’re doing here.”

“Why is that?”

Casey’s expression went dark. “It will ruin them.”

“So what, you’re protecting them?” Casey nodded.

“What are they like?” Sunshine hoped she wasn’t pressing her luck, but to her surprise, Casey actually smiled. He rolled his eyes too, but he didn’t seem annoyed at the very least.

“Where would I even start?”

“We have plenty of time,” Sunshine reminded him, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Start with Leo, I guess.”

Casey sighed. “We’ll be here all night.”

Prev. Masterpost Next

Notes: Dialogue exchanged in sign language is written between 'apostrophes.' Scenes taking place in Casey's doomed future are written in italics.