#Most ridiculous Jutsu

[bestnarutoduo]

Propaganda

Edo Tensei

Not even death can save you from the ninja military complex

Tobirama really said ‘you’ve just died it’s not big deal. Get up and keep fighting’ and Orochimaru took it even further and did it to ALL THE HOKAGE ***

Tengai Shinsei

The name in english is insane (heavenly obstacle quaking star***)

The jutsu madara used to summon not one, but TWO meteors on the allied shinobi forces.

Insane jutsu

Bro just drops meteors on people whenever he wants

Does he pull them from space? Take the material from somewhere on on earth and form it int he sky and then drop it? Does it just materialize?

What’s going on with this jutsu???

Dude can just do the cretaceous-tertiary mass extinction event whenever he wants

WHERE DID HE LEARN THIS?

WHO INVENTED THIS?

WHO THOUGHT ‘Oh i know what will be awesome, a jutsu that drops meteors on people!’

Sasuke out here fighting dinosaurs in boruto, meanwhile Madara is the one who friggen killed them all

[tozettastone]

Would you rank the Akatsuki by how much you like them and why?

Anon this is so hard... :< I like them for different reasons and in different ways! How can I reliably rank such a list? I will do my best.

--

11. Zetsu — plot device man. Nah.

10. Pein — Honestly not much less of a plot device than Zetsu. His behaviour doesn't follow from his supposed motives, and his motives are boring to me. His character arc is unsatisfying.

9. Konan — Has the same problems as Pein to me, but ranked higher because she's prettier than him.

8. Tobi — Tobi appears to represent a really, really long term psychiatric episode Obito is having. If he doesn't, then I don't know what the FUCK is going on here. He's fun sometimes, despite this, but I like to think about character dynamics and it's really hard to reconcile Tobi and Obito, which annoys me. I don't like his interpersonal relationships or backstory enough to work at constructing a theory of his character most of the time.

7. Kisame — He's a straightforward guy with an interesting if shallow character concept: he doesn't like deceptions and lies, and yet is recruited to an organisation that is layer upon layer of different deceptions. Also, a shark. What's not to like?

6. Sasori — For many years I didn't like Sasori because I was very hung up on the idea of a character who, supposedly, had gotten rid of his feelings. How do you motivate a character who just... doesn't care? But over time I kind of got over that part of canon. Now I think he's fun because I like to think of him as a crittery little weirdo who will call you ugly to your face and use you for spare parts.

5. Deidara — Interesting because he has a really normative idea of how social interactions are meant to go, which we see when he is with Tobi and gets really annoyed by him. But he is also a furious trembling chihuahua who eats clay at the slightest provocation. Has a bad temper. I like Deidara. He has plenty of reasonable character traits that make sense propped up next to each other. Good job, Deidara.

4. Itachi — Itachi is another character whose behaviour doesn't seem to follow organically from his motives, I think because he was envisioned as a true antagonist and softened a lot at the last second. I like this about Itachi, though, because the contradictions imply some absolutely bonkers stuff about his character that, unlike Tobi, I feel we can reconcile into a coherent character that is just incredibly fucky. I like a fucky character.

3. Hidan — What is Hidan even. No no, don't get me wrong, I love Hidan, but from the perspective where we care about whether or not a character is a good character, he has to be one of the worst characters in this series. I love him less because of his canon character and more because his canon character is so ridiculous that I enjoy looking at it and trying to make him into a character that actually resembles a person. I also like the religious element. The pageantry. The mysticism. The drama. (The violence.)

2. Kakuzu — I like Kakuzu so much. He's another of these characters, like Hidan, who is fun for the challenge of constructing a coherent character out of what you've been presented with. The puzzle pieces will all fit if you smoosh them in hard enough! But I also like his grim, violent, avoidant personality. I also like how, like Sasori, he can be so delightfully crittery. Forbidden spaghetti man!!!

1. Orochimaru — I LOVE early series Orochimaru. This guy wants so much attention and he cares, deeply, about everyone he knows. That's not to say he values their well-being or approval, but rather that he is deeply invested in eliciting an emotional response from them. Canon is like "his goal is immortality and knowing every jutsu!" and like sure that's A goal but. my god. his other goal is to provoke everyone he loves to murder. (Bless you, Orochimaru.)

[doeinstinct]

just sitting here thinking about how incredible kakashi was as a leader even though most people seem to think he was like a placeholder hokage until naruto took over

(spoilers for kakashi retsuden incoming)

listen okay he was hokage for at least 12 years and in that time he not only helped konoha to insanely technologically advance, teamed up with sakura to create a children's mental health clinic but also had time and dedication to develop jutsu that can overpower the element they're weak to

based on the novel, we know for certain that he created a fire jutsu that overpowered a ridiculously strong water jutsu and that he developed a way to make an earth wall resistant to lightning by turning the point of contact into crystal (it's also indicated that he's one of the only people with good enough control to do it)

without the sharingan sapping his chakra and training throughout his entire hokage tenure he also had enough power to hold up an earth wall thick enough to stop cannon fire around an entire village for two straight days

and after all that, he brought down a whole hoarde of hired shinobi non-lethally

kakashi never wanted to be hokage, he didn't think he was worthy of that title, but took it on because his comrades needed him to and believed in him

he dedicated himself to the position and made so much positive change for konoha and for the bonds they forged during the fourth war

people who think kakashi was just a nothing hokage warming the seat for naruto completely misunderstand who he is fundamentally as a person and as a shinobi

okay rant over lmao

[hellcifrogs]

I like the idea of orochimaru just sweeping up all three of them and becoming the worst mother hen ever

it starts easy with sasuke bc what??? you want him to Not look after his future vessel??? that boy needs to eat his vegetables and take proper care of his injuries

naruto starts as an attempt at manipulation, the boy grew up hated by the village and with a bare minimum of care, a hair ruffle here and there, the occasional kind word, and tasty snacks should get him onside pretty quick right? but then oro starts doing these things without thinking about future pay off (omg do you think he'd break into konoha to get naruto a bowl of ichiraku ramen when naruto did something he was really pleased with)

sakura is actually the one he spends the most time with, she has brilliant chakra control and can actually understand theory! and science! and has the patience for research! and will sit with him and discuss it while the boys are off in the background hitting each other with sticks or smth! she also craves validation, and you want him to not give it to her after she looks at him with those big green eyes, and adorable pink hair, after finally nailing a tricky jutsu??? ridiculous

maybe he also steals sai for them as a treat after the first time they meet him and subsequently develop the most embarrassing crush on him, he wouldn't be himself if he let a little thing like the law/danzo/konoha stand between his monsters and expanding their polycule

so now orochimaru is mama-bear to three terrible little gremlins, and kabuto is their weird but adored cousin ig

jiraiya and tsunade are stunned the first time they see their still-a-horrible-war-criminal ex-bf fussing over the three kids that he stole

When I say half of this fandom shares a braincell! This is what I made him do in the NaruFox too 🤣😭 deep down we all wanna see good old murderous Orochimaru be turned into a soft parent by team 7 and taka!

[misfit-mccoward]

once again i arrive with sakukarin ridiculous medical jutsu smut. except this time i was thinking about the "lesbians have an insane number of orgasms" trope and also somehow "what if that, but also they're bad at it"

takes place in an AU where karin just lives in Konoha for some reason and is dating sakura. it's both of their First Time (tm) and they're implied to be kind of young. idk maybe it's like post-canon and they're 18/19

****

“Okay,” Sakura had said when Karin had proposed this. “But what do two girls… do?”

Karin had leaned in as sexily as she could and said, “Don’t worry. I know just what to do.”

This had turned out to be a lie. The only things Karin knew about two women having sex came from two characters in Icha Icha. The scenes described had seemed terribly exciting to her, which is why she’d gone and asked Sakura if she wanted to give it a whirl. 

Mostly, the fictional lesbians had just scissored and pressed their huge boobs against each other. Karin had been terribly turned on by the descriptions of the latter, but in practice it was… less fun. Kinda of weird. She gave up on this angle of making out with Sakura quickly. 

Touching Sakura’s tits was fun, though. Karin had her balanced on her thigh, held in place by one of her chains around Sakura’s waist. Sakura was flushed deeper than the pink of her hair, her green eyes wonderfully glassy and unfocused. Sakura’s hands were clasped around Karin’s wrists as Karin played with her bare breasts, occasionally tugging Karin to press harder or to move in a certain direction. 

Karin experimentally squeezed one of Sakura’s nipples, and she moaned out Karin’s name. 

“You are so hot right now,” Karin told her. She hoped Sakura felt even half as sexy as she looked. 

Sakura rubbed herself against Karin’s bare thigh, and the ache between Karin’s own thighs was starting to get annoying. Okay. Time to really get into it. She used her chain to yank Sakura’s body against hers, pushing her own hips forward on the edge of her bed. This brought the top of Sakura’s thigh against her. 

That felt amazing too. Sakura dropped her hands to Karin’s waist and ground against her. 

“A-ah,” Karin whined in a much less sexy voice than she meant to. 

“I like this,” Sakura breathed into her ear, and Karin felt goosebumps spread across her neck and down her spine. “Use the chain more.”

Most of Karin’s usually scheming thoughts were completely replaced with Girl? Pretty girl?! But she summoned two more chains to wrap around Sakura’s arms and then laid back on the bed, dragging Sakura down with her. 

Karin did not use the chains to inhibit Sakura from doing whatever she wanted with her arms, and so Sakura propped herself up on her elbows on either side of Karin.

“Ah– my hair–” Karin whined, jolting at the sudden pain, and Sakura shifted, momentarily distracted from her efforts.

They stared at each other, Sakura’s face inches from Karin, and continued. 

After a while, Sakura asked, “Are we, uh… supposed to do anything else?”

Karin still felt very good. But she certainly wasn’t getting anywhere. 

“Um,” Karin said. She refused to admit her only research was bad erotica novels and her own hand. 

Sakura sat up more, blinking down at Karin to clear her expression. Then she gave Karin an overly technical explanation of the biology of an orgasm, possibly recited directly from one of her medical books. 

“What?” Karin said. 

“Friction should be enough,” Sakura said, then tucked her chin to her chest and frowned downwards, like maybe a visual examination could figure out the problem. Then she said, “Ino said oral feels really good.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Karin said bluntly. 

Sakura nodded absentmindedly. Karin didn’t like… she didn’t like oral things. Maybe some other time, because Sakura was definitely safe. But not her first time. 

“I think I can stimulate it,” Sakura said, eyes meeting Karin’s. “If you want to try…?”

Karin cracked a grin. Sakura was a medical jutsu genius. She’d trust her with anything. “Sure,” she said, dissolving the chains around Sakura’s arms. 

Sakura slipped her hand between Karin’s legs. Two fingers parted Karin’s slit, wet and slick from their previous activities, and then pressed against her clit. 

This act felt very good, actually, Karin opened her mouth to let out a very performative but sexy moan of encouragement. Then Sakura activated some sort of medical jutsu, and Karin let out a scream instead. 

It was like going from zero to one hundred in half a second. One moment Karin was mildly turned on, and then the next she was having an orgasm stronger than any she’d managed before. 

“Oh my gosh!” Sakura yelped, on her feet immediately. “Karin are you okay—- I’m so sorry—” 

Karin lay on her back, panting. What the fuck, Sakura. 

“Well, it worked?” Karin breathed out as her girlfriend leaned over her, fingers raking through her hair. Not the fingers she’d put in Karin, Karin noted. Those fingers were covered in fluids now.  

Sakura was biting her lip in concern. She was so cute when she got like this. 

“Do you want to try again?” Karin offered. 

“I’m not…” Sakura started, and Karin caught her wrist. 

“I’m kinda into it,” she said. “Just go slower?”

Sakura nodded with a determination that Karin didn’t think casual sex with your girlfriend really required, even if it was their first time. 

Sakura did not successfully go slower the second time, although she did manage to drag the orgasm out longer. Karin arched her back into the covers of her bed and screamed some more, and then attempted to close her thighs around Sakura when she drew her hand back, because holy fuck. 

Sakura watched her the whole time with a look of deep concentration on her face. 

It wasn’t that it felt bad. It was Sakura’s fingers and Sakura’s chakra and it was an orgasm. It was just that it was… it was a lot, all at once. But Karin liked that look on Sakura, like Karin’s pleasure was the only thing worth thinking about. 

Karin was panting. “Try again,” she told Sakura. 

“I don’t think—-” Sakura started, but Karin yanked the chain still around her waist, pulling Sakura back between her thighs. 

“Do it until you get it right,” Karin told her. 

“O-okay,” Sakura sputtered out, face still determined. “But, um– I’m stopping if you get exhausted or dehydrated.”

Karin was an Uzumaki. She didn’t get exhausted, and Sakura’s weird experimental jutsu didn’t care about refractory periods. 

Karin’s only break was that at some point, Sakura went into her bathroom to get a towel. This was actually the hottest possible outcome, Karin decided, lounging in the afterglow of her fifth artificial orgasm. Big tiddy Icha Icha protagonist who? Karin had the hottest girlfriend on earth. 

After thirteen attempts, Sakura finally got it. Karin was barely coherent as she whimpered and moaned her way through a reasonably paced orgasm. Sakura leaned over her, beaming and triumphant. So fucking cute. Karin was pretty sure she was drooling grossly. 

But, by God, Karin was going to sleep well tonight. Also she had all the bragging rights. 

Sakura sat on the bed next to Karin, who was some sort of puddle at this point. Her grin was so happy and cute and proud of herself. 

“Was it good?” she asked. 

Karin blinked slowly at her. “Try it out yourself.”

Sakura’s cheeks flushed. 

Karin added, “I want to see.”

Sakura laid down on the bed next to her, shooting a cute little smile at Karin as she did so. 

Karin knew Sakura didn’t really like to masturbate. They’d talked about it, when they’d first talked about having sex. But she put her hand between her legs without hesitation, although Karin was too tired to watch anything but Sakura’s face. Sakura looked unsure of herself at first, and then her eyes widened in a pleased surprise. Then she sank back fully into the bed, eyes rolling back as she enjoyed herself. 

Perfect, Karin thought. 

[frankencanon]

I think it'd be funny if we made Kakashi even younger.

Can you imagine Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura finding out that Kakashi is only a handful of years older than them?!

I mean, with how little we see of his face it's extremely difficult to tell how old he is...

It was one thing when he was prepubescent and short with an unbroken voice, but once his voice dropped and he reached an average adult height... How would anyone be able to tell?

He's strong, highly ranked, mature for his age, and the proper height for an adult with an adult voice. Anyone who didn't already know his age would be liable to mistakenly assume he's older than he actually is, especially with the grey hair.

And it's not like it's out of the realm of possibility for a teenager to be a jounin sensei—take Minato, for example. He was, what, seventeen? And as talented as Minato was, he's nothing compared to Kakashi when it comes to rising through the ranks at a young age.

I'm pretty sure Kakashi broke literally every record there was when it came to "youngest ever [blank]". Academy student, genin, chūnin, jōnin, ANBU, ANBU Captain... Sure, Itachi eventually beat him in one or two of those, but at the time Kakashi was the sole record-holder; There'd never been anyone like him before.

If we just modify Kakashi's already contradictory timeline... Unimportant info below about the details for just how this could potentially work in canon!!

—WAIT. FORGET ALL THAT.

If you want to read my calculations as to how this could canonically work you may direct your attention below, however I have just come up with a far better and far simpler and also quite possibly both funnier and sadder idea:

Time-travel, but not in any way you're thinking...

Most people assume the reason why they didn't hear much of Kakashi's exploits over the years is because he was in ANBU and so everything was Top Secret and extremely covert...

But what if the real reason was because Kakashi had somehow been sent about a decade into the future? Hence explaining how he could be a teenager still when he was once the Yondaime's student.

Also possible: Kakashi was somehow held in stasis for the past decade—sealed, perhaps? Trapped? Or maybe the work of a foreign shinobi's jutsu (kekkei genkai?) that took about a decade or so to break/deactivate...

Or, my personal favorite:

He was investigating the Uzushiogakure ruins and got caught in one of their defensive seals — one that would seal him for a maximum of ten years, with the intention of giving Uzushio shinobi as much time as possible to deal with whatever intruder(s) got caught in the trap.

Without Kushina or Minato or any other Uzumaki seal experts however, deactivating the seal would be basically impossible — luckily, the seal was set up so that once time ran out Kakashi would be automatically released.

And he was! Ten years later, with little baby Naruto all grown up and almost ready to be placed on a genin team — his genin team.

—

AFFOREMENTIONED DUMB CALCULATIONS FOR HOW THIS COULD POTENTIALLY FIT INTO THE CANONICAL TIMELINE BELOW 👇

—

It's probably boring!! You don't have to read it!!

⚠️ You have been warned!! ⚠️

(It's mostly just me brainstorming, honestly...)

—

Genin at five, chūnin at six... Then he stalls at chūnin for a while before eventually advancing to jōnin at twelve (wherein Obito "dies").

He's approximately thirteen when Rin is killed leading to him joining ANBU, and then fourteen when Naruto is born and the Kyūbi is unleashed on the village, causing Minato and Kushina to sacrifice themselves.

In canon, he is then twenty-six years old when he becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei...

For starters, I vote we cut those six years of chūnin limbo before Kakashi becomes jōnin, dropping him to about twenty-or-so.

Then again, this is fanfic—who cares about canon timelines?

If we put him on the hyper-speed fast-track...

4: Academy student

5: Genin

6: Chūnin

7. Jōnin (Obito dies)

8. ANBU (Rin dies)

9. Naruto's birth (Minato & Kushina die)

Is this ridiculous? Yes! But who cares?

9+12=21

Hm... That's not right.

Alright, this is getting a bit annoyingly complicated.

Even if I downgrade Naruto to eleven (because for a long time I was convinced for some reason that Naruto was eleven while the rest of his peers were twelve, and I still have absolutely no clue where I got that idea from) that would still make Kakashi about twenty. Hm...

Ugh, I'll figure this out later. Can't we just hand-wave it?

—No wait, I have an idea:

While modifying his canon timeline to make him younger is a hassle and a half, the fact remains that until we saw Kakashi Gaiden we didn't actually have any details on his backstory...

In other words? The beginning of the series managed just fine without it, so why don't we just throw it out entirely?

Afterall, this fic is about jōnin-sensei Kakashi—the details of his traumatic childhood are irrelevant, and it's not like early fans had that information to work with anyway.

Naruto is canonically younger than Sasuke (who was a baby during the Kyūbi attack) so we shall put him at eleven to give us some leeway.

Now let's say we wanted to make Kakashi somewhere around sixteen to eighteen during canon—that would require him to be five to seven years old when Minato dies.

Now let's compress his timeline some more:

Considering the Konoha 9 all attended the very first chūnin exams after they graduated, I don't see any reason why Kakashi couldn't do the same—and unlike them he's a prodigy so it's basically guaranteed that he'd pass. (And that's assuming he didn't get a field promotion...)

Give him up to a year to become jōnin, and then have him join ANBU almost immediately after.

Some months later, Naruto is born and the Yondaime dies.

To compress it further, I am making his graduation even more ridiculous:

Academy student at three, genin and then chūnin at four, jōnin and ANBU at five. God, can you imagine a five-year-old ANBU? That'd be terrifying. Naruto is born around the time he turns six, and eleven years later Kakashi passes a genin team for the first time and is made a jōnin-sensei at seventeen, just like Minato-sensei was.

It'll take Team 7 a while to realize that, however.

...WAIT A MINUTE.***

Why am I even bothering to promote him prior to Minato's death? Am I, perhaps, an idiot?

Minato becomes his sensei as soon as he graduates to genin at five years old, but before that Kakashi spent a lot of time as his apprentice and they bonded. Shortly after Team 7 is formed the Kyūbi attack happens and Minato dies — the how doesn't matter, so don't worry about it.

The war is over so instead of Kannabi Bridge they go on some other dangerous mission with the same results, except this time the reason Minato isn't there is because he's dead.

They send some other inadequate chūnin or jōnin in his place, but they promptly get killed early on in the mission, perhaps at the same time that Rin gets kidnapped.

Kakashi is chūnin at this point so he naturally takes charge, despite being a five or six year old and Obito being — I don't know, twelve? Significantly older.

Obito dies, then Rin, and this time it's the stupid Sandaime that sticks Kakashi in ANBU like he's an annoying unwanted child that he wants to keep out of sight and thoroughly occupied — at least, until he needs a jōnin sensei for the Kyūbi's Jinchūriki and the Last Uchiha...

So, final version:

Five years old when Minato dies and Naruto is born, and about five or six years old when Obito and Rin die and Kakashi gets stuck in ANBU, followed by eleven years of Naruto growing up while Kakashi's in ANBU makes him... About sixteen to seventeen years old when Kakashi becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei.

To Kakashi, this feels almost poetic. (Same age as Minato-sensei was...)

[fireflylitsky]

wip ask game!

tagged by @frostmarris and @konekotaichou (ty!)

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I tried to pare them down to just the wips with fleshed out scenes and not just nasty little brainstorm worms everywhere 🙃

Also, I'm afraid I'm not very creative with my googledoc titles (Nart in Orange, other fandoms in purple)

Akatsuki Heist 90s AU

AnFuu Jack of All trades (Undead Unluck)

Astarion Tav Raphael (Baldur's Gate 3)

DeiSaku

Aiden Reader (Dying Light)

Heisenberg Reader (Resident Evil 8)

HidaObi Come as You Are

Hinata Akatsuki Bodyswap

Jashin's Diary

Kai Fuwa - Fixing Overhaul (BNHA)

KakuHida Coheed

KakuHida Glory Hole

KakuHida Hanahaki

KakuHida Heartjob

KakuHida Prison AU

KakuHida Please Mr. Postman

KakuHida Sweet Vertigo

KakuHida T4T 2

Kisame With a Gun

KisaSaku Yokai Sunset

Main Fic

Melonverse

Nagato's Fat Meat

ObiKonan IssuePaper

Shisui Ruins Everything

ZabuSaku Not Dead Yet

ZabuTema Abandon Reason

(Haha can you tell my favorite ship?)

So yeah, I don't have as many friends as I do WIPs, sorry instructions--tagging peeps I know have a lot of WIPS but please, anyone that sees this and wants to join in, consider yourself tagged! (on the opposite side of the coin, don't feel like you need to participate just because I tagged you) @konohamaru-sensei @woofgang69 @qettleqorn @nihilisticbunny @natsbatscats @nail-art-no-jutsu @eclaire-and-pocky @guroseinsei @latart @rcris123 @hidanizm @blightowl @zombie-honeymoon @succikko-nebulae @rose-colored-amy

[lady-byleth]

*shows up 20 years late with Starbucks*

So I feel like Neji gets way too much shit for his fight with Hinata during the Chunin exams

Was he a dick? Absolutely. Was he also not nearly as bad as people made it out? Also yes.

Allow me to explain

For one, yeah his verbal abuse of her is out of line and cruel. But it also serves a purpose, namely to try and scare her into giving up the fight early. He tells her multiple times to forfeit, before and even during the fight. He plays on her insecurities to pressure her into it because she has absolutely no chance against him

He also never strikes first. He waits for Hinata to make the first move several times, stays on the defensive constantly. So much so the others actually thinks she's got him on the back foot for a while. He counters her and blocks her tenketsu while he's at it.

He doesn't actually go for damage until that one strike that should have by rights taken her out of commission right then and there. But when she doesn't stop and gets back up, he actually looks horrified because she's injured, can't channel chakra, she's clearly defeated

...and then Neji too stops using chakra all together.

The whole fight it's made clear to us when chakra is involved in attacks, because the Gentle Fist relies on it, but after he blocks Hinata's tenketsu this stops completely. He doesn't go for her chest again until the very end, which is also the first time he uses chakra after stopping hers. He's losing his cool and he's trying to get her to stay down so the blow is stronger than it needs to be, but Hinata isn't exactly aiming for anything less lethal either. He matches her blow for blow, goes along with her movements, aims for the same places she does. He's just better than her so he actually does do damage.

And he could've taken her down fast and brutal if he'd wanted to. Kakashi is, pun intended, thunderstruck by Neji's level of skill. He acknowledges point blank that Sasuke wouldn't have a chance against Neji. Gaara is stimulated by that fight.

Hell, the kid makes Jonin at 15 and he has already reverse engineered some of the most advanced Hyuuga jutsu by 13 without anyone actually training him in them

He could end this fight in seconds, if he actually wanted to hurt Hinata. He doesn't. He wants her to walk away.

Hayate also tells the kids straight up that he will intervene when he thinks a fight is over cuz he doesn't want more corpses than necessary...but he let's it go on. It's not until Neji loses his cool completely that anyone actually steps in and then they have multiple Jonin rushing in to stop him cuz of how fucking dangerous Neji actually is

Also Hinata, despite her clear fear of facing him as an opponent, is still fond enough of him to call him brother. So despite the grudge Neji has against the main house and, by extension, Hinata, their relationship is still cordial enough

My conclusion is simple: Neji doesn't actually want to hurt her but he knows he can't guarantee that he won't so he wants her to quit before he does. And she just...doesn't back down and then turns the mind games back on him the whole fight. Unintentionally but the effect is the same. But her pointing out that he's hurting more than her...For a traumatized 13 year old always 2 seconds away from snapping, that's a tough pill to swallow. So he loses it and goes for her to shut her up...despite actually urging her to stop so she doesn't die just seconds before

He's definitely taking some shit out on her before that but he's not going into this fight to physically hurt her beyond reason. But his superior chakra control and frankly ridiculously good Byakugan give him an edge she can't overcome.

And Hinata had already lost by the time he got that first real blow in on her. A big part of why she ended up as badly as she did was because she refused to stop when she should have known she couldn't go on, Hayate and the Jonin stopped the fight too late and her tenacity slowly ate away at Neji's restraint

What I'm saying is basically that this is a shit situation from start to finish and no one deserves a warm handshake over anything that happens there. But Neji isn't nearly as bad as he's made out to be. Even provoking Naruto and Kurenai later on is cuz he's still riled up himself...but he does watch her being carried away the whole time too...

[team7-headquarter]

Idk how to explain this but Sakura's punished for being the girl of Team 7 and that's,, weird.

She's the only female character to which the "needs to look less feminine/vain so people can take her seriously" rule applies.

From the Classic, she's shamed for her "girl feelings" aka being too emotional, like crying when she thought Haku had killed Sasuke or when she felt scared on the Forest or Death, which is ridiculously because they had just faced a Sannin and anyone would fucking cry if they thought their teammate is death.

Her skills are not taken in consideration unless when it's a moment that won't really have repercussions in the future or that can be dismissed by some other achievement of Sasuke and Naruto. Exampled: She's smart but never smart enough to help Sasuke's deductions, she is good with genjutsu but only when she needs to act as a shield for one of her teammates and never too much, she's amazing with basic training techniques but it only matters when it can inspire Naruto or Sasuke. Meaning that none of her achievements are truly hers.

Naruto has a whole personal jutsu and years of study dedicated to sculping the sexiest prettiest woman that's part of the theme of Naruto rebelling against people but secretly wanting to fit in and feel accepted, but someone Sakura is the one getting humiliated the most for being a pre-teen/teen discovering how it's like to want to be pretty and sexy for a body she likes.

The whole point of Naruto and Sasuke having personal trainings and Sakura having to find her own sensei because no one ever cared for her development. Naruto had trained with a sannin and Sasuke had the cursed mark of a sannin and Kakashis training and those went from important clans, but Sakura went to fight Gaara with the techniques she perfected on the Academy and nothing else. Literally.

Sometimes she acts exactly like Naruto and the only reason she's annoying is because she's the female character.

She's the only character of the classic to have an inner version of herself that can not express itself. The story tells you that she's literally repressing herself to appear more feminine/delicate to follow the girl stereotype, and yet there's no development on it. It's just a running gag like Naruto sexy-jutsu. Even Icha Icha Paradise series has more development. The porno books.

The stereotype of the silly little naive girl who hasn't suffered like us so she would never get it. Also being punished for not knowing, for making mistakes while also learning and for knowing too late.

If people take care of her she's useless and a damsel in distress. If she defends herself is fanservice. Again, there's a reason to dismiss her achievements all the time

It makes you wonder if she being a guy could have made the difference. Or even if she was a girl but not part of Team 7.

[lemony-snickers]

i should have kept a journal.

the thought comes unbidden, late at night, just as kakashi feels the first tendrils of sleep tugging at his concious mind, dragging him under the heavy blanket of a dream.

but then he is awake, mind spinning, sifting through memories he can't quite pull into focus.

he never expected the loss of the sharingan to have such consequence - for all the tender moments of his life, which he had taken for granted, to meld into the backdrop of a long, arduous tapestry of other moments.

before he lost obito's eye, kakashi had been able to recall with perfect clarity some of his most important memories - times when he had merely blinked the eye open for a second or two, the tomoe spinning to life, draining his chakra as the eye greedily memorized whatever scene lay before it.

he had at his disposal a perfect recorded history of his life; for better and worse.

now, kakashi would happily accept all the bitter ends and entrails if it meant he could remember rin's smile the way it truly looked. if he could recall the exact shade of kushin's hair or the cerulean of minato's eyes.

kakashi would watch every death he had ever witnessed in an endless loop if he could call forth the picture of team 7 in the land of waves, fierce and too small and his. but now he forgets which side sasuke wore his kunai pouch on, the length of sakura's hair, how many wrinkles appeared when naruto scrunched his nose in confusion.

small details. minute. insignificant.

important.

now fading. soon, gone.

kakashi knows he's lost any chance at rest and instead he crawls his way to the desk at the opposite side of his room and he uses his creaky fingers to try and scribble out the memories as they come - birthdays and festivals and quiet nights beneath the stars. he tries to remember the look on gai's face during each of their ridiculous competitions; tenzo's expression when he showed kakashi his first apartment after root.

but it's all a watered down version of what really happened. his fingers are too slow, his brain too tired and unfocused. each lost detail feels like losing. like grief.

the way he felt when he forgot his mother's eye color, when he realized he could no longer ask his father about it; could no longer remember the exact pitch of the older man's nose, how many teeth he revealed when he smiled.

kakashi should have known how tenuous a memory can be. had known the devastation of loss, of forgetting, long before he knew the power of remembrance; the true gift of the sharingan.

more than prowess in battle, the eye was powerful because it would not allow him to forget. good, bad, happy, traumatic, it was all still there, waiting to be spun to life beneath a crimson veil.

now everything is gone.

and kakashi realizes he should have kept another record because all those precious moments bled away, replaced by jutsu and regulations and quotes from icha icha as if they could ever matter more than the warmth of his first kiss, the comfort of loving arms after battle.

and it seems such a waste for the most exquisite mundanities of his life to fade into a watercolor backdrop of his world - the colors there, but all the detail lost - in favor of necessity.

because none of it matters if he can't remember the moments that made it worthwhile.

[bestnarutoduo]

Propaganda

Dynamic Marking

Dog pissing on you no-jutsu

Submitter cannot imagine how harrowing the emotional experience of getting pissed on mid fight is. Like losing is one thing, but…man 

It’s just a dog peeing on you

Sexy Harem/Reverse Harem Jutsu

Naruto’s seemingly stupid OG Jutsu coming in clutch against the final villain

Ridiculous that it worked but who can blame her really?

Ridiculous that Naruto thought of it in such a serious situation

Ridiculous that Sasuke actually agreed to try it

Ridiculous we got robbed by clouds!

Hot naked man jutsu that actually works on people???

Normal Sexy No-jutsu is just a girl version of Naruto, but this is a variety of different men. Naruto, darking, the closet is GLASS

[the-thin-white-snake]

what is Oro's main motivation in life? His driving force, what does he do it all for?

// What does he do it all for? Well...you could write a whole book about what drives Orochimaru, he has so many goals and motivations.

Or, at least, he started out that way. "I want to obtain all the techniques and gain a true understanding of everything in this world. The first one to mix blue and yellow called the new color "green". I want to do something similar to that. If blue is the chakra, then yellow is the seal, and green is the technique… Just as there is no end to the variety of colors, there are so many thousands… tens of thousands of techniques in the world as well. But in order to obtain every possible technique and truth, it would require an eternity. Only one who understands everything after spending such time on this can be fittingly called the Ultimate Being." This is what Orochimaru says to Sarutobi during their fight. He wants all the power of the world for himself. He wants to "find the truths of this world," whatever that entails. Orochimaru sincerely believes that power and immortality are not only his destiny, they are his right, and that he's free to take them by using whatever means necessary.

But he didn't start out that way. It was only after his parents died, when Sarutobi comforted him in the cemetery the day Orochimaru found the shed snake skin, that the seeds were planted in his young and impressionable mind. Throughout the years, after witnessing countless acts of violence and deaths, those seeds started to sprout, and eventually they overtook him. He became consumed with the desire to cheat death. And so he began delving deeper and deeper into forbidden jutsu, he started experimenting on people, he started kidnapping people. Those deaths didn't matter to him; only the perpetuation of his own existence. His obsession with youth and power kept him going for decades, and he managed to come up with his body stealing technique that allowed him to leapfrog through the years. But it was imperfect and came with too many risks. It wasn't enough, and the secret of true immortality evaded him. Then Sasuke happened. Sasuke was Orochimaru's wake-up call. It was Sasuke who showed Orochimaru where he'd gone wrong, how he'd stagnated and became the very thing he hated most; a windmill that doesn't move. Sasuke ridiculed Orochimaru before killing him, stating, "All you do is play God with people's lives." Orochimaru forgot why he was doing what he was doing. All he knew was that he couldn't stop. And he never did, not even after finally obtaining immortality though the White Zetsu body. He still has more or less the same goal. The only difference was that after the war he only experimented on his own clones rather than other people, and he's "allied" with Konoha, in the sense that as long as he stays quiet Konoha will let him do whatever he wants. I'd say Orochimaru got his perfect ending.

[hellbubu]

Hii!! Its saturday, the best day of the week! Not guilt for sleeping in and a new kuro episode xD (and your reaction, that always makes me laugh)

This episode flew so fast! And it wasnt even as interesting as most of the others, =( I did enjoy watching just how many strategies and backup plans Ciel came up with tho (Also, loved the prefect being willing to train hard af with Ciel to win....but the fact that he didnt even think to question why their teacher was training *this* particular boy all the time is so dumb....like you said, EVERYONE (except Edward and Bitch-cant remember his name rn-) is so twisted around his little finger its ridiculous. Even Ciel seems surprised by this, lol. Never ever has he been the hot girl and doesnt know how to react xDD (and I mean for people his age...not demons and old lecherous pervs, btw)

Lau's girls were....sure something lmao. Its always hilarious to me when boys lose their heads around some skin, but to this extreme? I didnt expect Edward to fall to it, tho. And at Ciel's "would that really work? -> ah, i guess demons would know about humans desires" I was ¬¬ sure bb, suuure you don't know anything about this, at all. (Also, the TOTAL lack of reaction from Druitt???? You're telling me the most pervert man in this whole stadium is not reacting to grown up women showing skin and that's not a tiny bit suspicious?? When he was commenting on the boys before this? Pfff)

I KNEW he was gonna get injured the moment Edwin's bat stopped 5 cm from his face. Idk, but i thought he was gonna let himself get hit in the upwards motion? And I was like "baby, baby! you're gonna lose like, four teeth!! ik its probably your milk teeth still, but cielll!" lmao. Luckily that didnt happen. Although his poor head... that was a STRONG swing. Still, as we know he's always willing to suffer if it results in his victory.

Also, is it just me or Sebastian was so slowww this ep??? And wouldnt he have more reason to approach the head master as a teacher rather than some random butler??? anyways.....

Saturdays are now Kuro-days! It's a shame we're almost through all the episodes 😭😭😭

I think they're all like that with him because they all see how much persistence, ambition, and intelligence are in that small body. Plus, it does help that he has a title, is cute, and is very fucking rich (I mean he has to buy new silver jewelry every other week because Sebastian uses them like a kunai).

Amor, everyone knows Druitt is only into people younger than his nephew. While I understand why this would be a good strategy, I'm honestly done with it. Like at least they weren't naked and only covered by clouds (Naruto used the Sexy Jutsu so much... I hate just thinking about it.

I do see why most boys were affected by it. Like, during that era people (in general) were more covered up. Like very covered up. And while I'm sure Ciel does know about sex, he might be used to seeing girls like that. I mean, Lau and Ran-Mao are always together. While he doesn't like to be hugged by her, I doubt that's because of "lust" and he mostly just doesn't like being touched.

I just love how he thought letting Greenhill (I googled his name) was a good idea. I mean, they won. But the head injury could bring long-lasting effects. Greenhill (I had to google his name) hits extremely hard

Look at that! That's not normal. Ciel is lucky he's alive.

I also liked it when Ciel was the only blue-haired one. On the bright side, I now HC that Redmond (I also Googled his name because in my head he's either Heather Chandler or Regina George) teases him saying they could be brothers. He calls Ciel his brother just to annoy Bluewer.

[waffliesinyoface]

anyways i just read all of naruto in like a week so i am now qualified to have The Most Correct Opinions.

Land of Waves arc is unironically the best one

its also the ONLY standard mission in the entire manga?? literally, at no point does anyone interact with a client after tazuna, its all in response to orochimaru/akatsuki. Naruto your resume is ridiculous. The reason Kakashi is 6th Hokage is not because Naruto wasn't strong enough, but because he needed to learn what the actual job of being a ninja entails. Yes you are very strong but you do need to have a basic grasp of paperwork systems.

Its kind of weird that, out of all the akatsuki, kisame is the one who hangs around the longest. Most of the others show up, do their bit, and then are immediately killed. Kisame is introduced first and dies last.

i've already mentioned this in another post but the Cycle of Hatred thing does not work. It worked as a motivation for Pein, but like. The reason the villages kept declaring war on each other wasn't for revenge, it was because their economic system was inherently tied to being the one with the strongest military and also they were paranoid that if someone else got too strong they would be invaded first.

Related: they should've had warring clans exposition and details about the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd wars BEFORE Pein showed up. If there were more details about wars in the past presented in a tragic-but-still-overall-necessary light, then Pein showing up and going "you miserable bastards trample over everyone weaker than you and deserve to be punished or it." It would have had more weight. Literally you could've slotted this during Naruto's initial training with Jiraiya as a follow-up to Hiruzen's "The chuunin exams are a replacement for war" speech.

Sakura why the fuck didnt you marry Ino

Kishimoto did Sakura so dirty at every turn. Literally every time she gets screentime she goes "THIS TIME... I WILL BE THE ONE WHO PROTECTS YOU...!" and has a cool moment, and then gets immediately overshadowed.

Literally at one point she's like "in the chuunin exams i was so weak... i hid behind you guys at every turn" and i felt like I was going insane because both during wave and the chuunin exams she has moments where she's like "yeah i dont have any special powers but i DO have a knife and you're going through me FIRST, fucker" which is honestly way cooler to me than like 90% of all the jutsu bullshit. Literally she stands in between a berserk gaara and a crippled sasuke armed with nothing but a kunai and pure fucking grit.

its very funny to me that the first time naruto ever does a nature transformation its rasenshuriken. Kakashi woke up in a cold sweat one day and realized he forgot to do the most basic teaching about chakra theory when they were genin. Whoops.

Im sorry but i legitimately do not care about the sage OR his sons OR the reincarnation twist. Its not interesting to me and I WILL be ignoring it. I'm all for the sage being reminded of his kids or the idea of history being cyclical, but explicitly going "no youre a reincarnation, this was Fated" is dumb and kishimoto SHOULD feel bad.

Edo Tensei arc is unironically very funny to me. Kabuto is having a mid-life crisis and has turned into a snake about it, and has decided to raise a bunch of dead badasses for. reasons. honestly i am not sure how his goals required obito or the akatsuki??

Anyways he raises a bunch of badasses and WHOOPS theyre all comedians. Deidara and Sasori are bickering, Itachi is being even more of an unhinged control freak than normal, the Mizukage is curbstomping everyone while berating them for not hitting the weakpoints he's explicitly telling them about, Tobirama is annoyed at everyone but mostly himself for actually coming up with this jutsu, and madara puts his entire plan on hold for a minute because he sensed his ex boyfriend and got incredibly horny.

Orochimaru gets brought back to life and promptly goes "actually i take back my plans about konoha, watching sasuke is INFINITELY more entertaining. Also I'm going to help out against the akatsuki because Kabuto's snake fursona is a tacky knockoff of me and I'm disowning him for being lame." I also liked him being chummy with Tsunade, that was very cute. I kind of wish Jiraiya HAD gotten edo tensei'd so that all three sannin could have been reunited on the same side? It would have been cute??

I feel strongly that Sakura and Karin deserve to go to some hot springs together and mutually complain to each other about being unfortunately attracted to the most misogynistic man on the planet after kishimoto himself. Orochimaru and Ino can tag along because they LOVE gossip and complaining.

Gai being the only person on the planet strong enough to beat the crap out of Madara is great, actually. Yes you can block all ninjutsu and genjutsu, but can you block his fists? No.

The "special chakra" produced in uchiha brains is actually entirely unrelated to the sharingan. It mostly just causes brain damage. This is why Madara, Obito, and Sasuke are all Like That.

Obito's heel face turn and the ensuing team up with Kakashi is, against all odds, actually good. I am willing to overlook Obito temporarily coming back from the dead through sheer willpower both because its cool and because we've already established chakra is bullshit and ghosts exist.

Obito your plans are dumb, your motivation is stupid, your critical thinking skills are nonexistent, and your coping mechanisms are insane. Somehow I still like you, despite this??

Does anybody at all like kaguya. Anybody.

Everything about the epilogue annoys me. Mirai and Sarada can stay, everything else I am actively choosing to ignore.

Frankly I'm confused and appalled that kishimoto wrote sasuke and naruto like that, and then put them in heterosexual marriages with other people.

[lunyzare]

Thoughts on Izuna vs. Tobirama

As far as we know, we can assume Tobirama created the Hiraishin Jutsu to fight the Uchiha and balance out their natural battle advantage their Sharingan gave them.

However, I have to wonder – why did he first use it on Izuna (of all people)? He could have chosen any other Uchiha, but no, we are shown he chose to use it to defeat Izuna specifically.

The reason why I believe that Izuna was the first victim of this Jutsu is simple – Kishi could have chosen any other Jutsu Tobirama created at that time, as all of them were most likely created to better fight the Uchiha clan, however he chose this specific Jutsu, and thus he probably did so for a reason; to show not only how Izuna died, but also the origins of this famous Jutsu. The other reason I believe Izuna was most likely the first victim is also simple – both clans were constantly trying to best each other (we see the proof of that when both clans come up with the exact same idea at the river confrontation when Hashirama and Madara were young) – and I am quite convinced that (realistically), had Izuna seen the Hiraishin Jutsu before, he would have been (probably) more prepared, and would have expected Tobirama to try to use it.

The clearest evidence of my theory that Izuna really was the first person Tobirama used this Jutsu on, is Izuna's face right after he was hit by it, as both the question marks in the middle panel and his face in the right down panel show clear surpeise (although it could be argued he was just suprised by being injured in general).

So, coming back to my question: Why did Tobirama use this Jutsu on Izuna specifically? Why, again of all the Uchiha, did he choose Izuna?

According to the databooks, they were equals in power, however that likely wasn't the only reason.

Now, this is just me theorizing and it is more a realm of headcanons, however I just have to wonder if perhaps Izuna's Shinobi skills (he was regarded as one of the best among the Uchiha after all, and he was also, like Madara, the first of the two to awaken Mangekyo Sharingan) terrified Tobirama in some way. I simply believe there had to be a reason why Izuna was feared the same way Madara was – and I just have to wonder if Tobirama was, just hypothetically, scared of his abilities the way we were shown he was scared of Madara's. Izuna's position in the clan – him being the clan head – might have also played the role, for defeating him meant weakening the Uchiha (and especially Madara).

I also have to wonder (and this is again more in the realm of headcanons) how the situation would differ had Izuna's eyesight been completely intact. We can (logically) assume he was most likely using his powers (probably even Susanoo), and therefore he must have been affected by blindness too (it is quite ridiculous to assume Madara was the only one of the two suffering from it). So had Izuna's eyes worked properly, would he still be defeated? (Probably would, due to plot, but would it be the same?)

There is just so much information to be pondering about, and I am still sad we didn't get Madara's flashback where at least some questions could be answered.

[narasnooze]

His footsteps echoed in the dark and empty hallways of the Hokage building. It was awfully late at night and lately Shikamaru found it pretty difficult to fall asleep. He has had this problem before, but not as severe as it was now. With his mind filled with constant thoughts rushing through, back and forth, he simply couldn't find a good time to rest. His body and mind wouldn't let him. Perhaps the heavy feeling of loneliness wasn't helping much, either.

It was strange... He had never been bothered about being on his own before. He enjoyed peace and quiet, a moment or two for himself. But lately it had become one of the worst feelings he knew. It... hurt. On a few occasions he had actually gotten so sad about that he'd fallen a couple of tears. It had bothered him even more. He had gotten annoyed with himself, thought he was being ridiculous and then forced himself deeper into work in embarrassment. He, the lazy loner, was not upset to be ...alone. By the damn way, he wasn't alone. He had tons of people around him most of the time. Friends, family, colleagues. It was stressful and too much to handle at times, even. So, he was not feeling lonely.

But when he stopped walking, holding all the documents in his hands and listened to the overwhelming silence... he swallowed hard. He hated this. He hated not being able to cope with this better. He hated not being able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour and sleep through the emptiness. He had done that so well before.

With a deep calming breath, Shikamaru tried to ease his unstable emotions and told himself that with a cup of tea he'd be fine. In a couple of hours, people would be back and another morning rush would surely distract him from how bad mood.

Or perhaps it would already...! When approaching the door to the Hokage's office, he had heard a noise from inside. And looking down at the door, he could see a weak, shimmering light.

What's he doing here at this hour? There is nothing to catch up on... nothing that urgent, at least.

With a light smile, Shikamaru let out another breath he hadn't notice he'd been holding before shutting his eyes and stepping inside. For some silly reason, he pretended to be reading something to seem busy when he entered the office.

"I didn't think you'd be here.. I thought you had–"

Once he had turned after shutting the door and looked up, his words froze along with his body. His smile fell instantly as soon as his eyes fell on the man sitting at the Hokage's desk.

Gengo's dark eyes met Shikamaru's own that were filled with shock and disbelief which only made Gengo smirk wider in return. He leaned back into Kakashi's chair, showing great confidence at being there. He had managed to get inside Konoha without hassle. Any on duty guards had been easily persuaded with his much refined talent.

"Neither did I. But it does seem life is full of surprises, after all. It's good to see you, Shikamaru. You look well..." he said, seemingly very pleased with himself.

It had to be a damn nightmare. This couldn't be true. Gengo was imprisoned. Locked up. Detained in one of the most secure places! And his tongue should still be severely damaged from So's jutsu. He should not be able to speak at all...!

The older man continued in his calm, cold and nonchalant manner. He was quite enjoying the stunned Nara and couldn't stop an amused low chuckle from escaping as he rested his elbow on the armchair and his chin lightly on his fingers.

"Tell me... with that smile you gave earlier when stepping in here.. should I be jealous?"

A split second after Gengo's words, a shadow shot towards Gengo over the wooden floor which the older man barely managed to dodge. The fight that followed was intense and painful but caused very little damage around them. And went surprisingly rather unnoticed. It seemed Gengo didn't want to make a scene and draw much attention to them. A few ANBU did notice, of course, and came to Shikamaru's aid and it seemed for a moment that they finally had Gengo under control.

"Let the Hokage know we have a situation... Find Soku, and bring Yamanaka Ino as well. We will be needing both of them for this guy." Shikamaru said, wiping blood from his mouth as he glared at Gengo in two of the ANBU's hold, along with his own shadow keeping him in place. The third ANBU gave a nod and was gone the very next moment.

"Is this how you treat your humble visitors, Nara-kun..."

"Shut the hell up." Shikamaru spat out, not taking his eyes off him for one second. "Cover his mouth with something. Do not let him speak to you..."

Half a minute passed and he was starting to become a bit uneasy since Kakashi still hadn't shown up. Neither had Soku or Ino. When another thirty seconds went by with no sign of anyone, Shikamaru's frown deepened. "Something's wrong. Bear, gather the rest of ANBU and tell them to search the village. Check the guard first, they might be in trouble. Take three others with you and find out what has happened t––"

Gengo raised his eyebrows in pretence surprise. "Oh..!"

At the exact same time, Shikamaru and Bear had been attacked. The other ANBU by Gengo had strucken Bear at the same time that the ANBU Shikamaru had sent away to alarm Kakashi, had struck him from behind. Each of them received a sharp senbon in their neck, covered in a paralysing poison, and both fell seconds later to the ground. A second needle went into Shikamaru's skin and he felt himself incredibly tired and woozy. With heavy eyelids and blurry vision, Shikamaru saw Gengo stand up and dust himself off before taking Bear's katana, praising its blade and sliding it across Bear's neck.

"..no..!" Shikamaru forced his voice out. It was weak but held anger and despair in it.

Gengo turned to him, walked over and crouched down.

"I'm terribly sorry, dear. I can't risk him confirming I was here, though. You understand."

With a nod to the two people posing as ANBU, Gengo stood up once again after he had gestured for one of them to take Shikamaru and the other one to clean up the mess.

"Don't forget the gentlemen at the gate.. Kill any possible witnesses of this. We are too close for them to catch on so soon. I'm not at my full strength just yet."

"Yes, sir."

"Tired, Shikamaru? Is the drug already affecting you? Do not worry. You will wake up comfortably and well rested. You have my word."