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maximumkillshot · 11 months ago

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I Won't Lose You- ICLY 7.5

Warnings: Cheater POV, a lot of not nice things are said. Definitely something to think about if you are sensitive to that type of subject matter, cursing, some air of grand diosity,

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Characters: Chris, Seungmin

A/N: So a lot of people have been wondering what Chan has been thinking... Welp... You get what you wish for... even though it ain't pretty. I wanted to punch him writing it. This is after Chris gets banned from the hospital room. Since it is following him and not the reader, I decided to give it a different name, with the annotation being 7.5. Happy anger management people!

ALL THE SKZ IRL ARE CINNAMON ROLLS THIS IS A FICTION- IT'S FAKE.

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BEFORE:

Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris.

Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now.

Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”

That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”

NOW:

Chan’s POV:

I have never seen Y/N like that. A part of me wants to say that it was something that was a freak accident, that Soo and I were a freak accident. We weren’t. Y/N deserves to know that, to have it acknowledged. I want to scream that I regret it, that I want to take it all back, that I wanted to erase it all. That would be a lie.

You can’t regret something that you actually initiated. I don’t regret what I did. I wanted a release, I got a release. I wanted to feel exhilaration, I got it. What I am sorry for is getting caught. Of course I’d never say this out loud but, the truth is my marriage was a means to an end. She loves me, of course… and I love her… to an extent. I loved it when she would perk up when I came home, or be passed out on the couch, waiting for me to come home. In a lot of ways, Y/N is like a puppy. She would do all the tricks in the book to make me happy. If she was lucky, she’d get rewarded.

There is an even more fucked up part of me that is relieved that she knows. Sneaking around wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was making it look like I was with the boys when I wasn’t. Y/N is so close to the boys it was a pain in the ass, all it would’ve taken was one text and right there my cover would be blown. I know that I can come back from this, though. Soo never held a candle to my wife. I just told Soo whatever she wanted to hear. I made it worth it for her to do what she wanted… what we wanted, who am I kidding, I wanted it.

Everything is still so raw, she’s not really going to leave. I know she told me when we started dating, but I know that I can prove myself to her. She is the type to really believe that everyone is good inherently. It was something that I used to every advantage, if I’m honest. I’m obviously better than Changbin. I make more, I am more level headed… obviously… I am willing to do whatever I need to make sure I get what I want. How could she want anyone else? That’s like trading in a top of the line Ferrari for a beat up 1999 Taurus. Plus, she always gives people second chances. This is all one giant hiccup.

While the rest of the boys and I filed into the elevator, I heard her voice. She was so scared, I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, it was so meek, fragile… weak. That’s really the only downside to her. She is weak. Her emotions get the better of her always. Given, what happened would make anyone go crazy, but at the end of the day, she can’t keep control over her emotions. She is the type of person to read a room and follow the tone of the room. She isn’t a trendsetter, a leader. The only reason why the boys are the way that they are is because she is hurt. Something about their “white knight” complexes. Honestly I could puke just thinking about it. While they were playing games, painting, or just practicing on vocal technique, I was ensuring their continued employment. That will never change about her though. She folds under pressure. Like a skeleton with no spine. Sometimes it was exhausting, others amusing; that’s the biggest tell as to her coming back. She has no spine without me. She needs me… just like everyone else.

Knowing the woman Y/N is I knew that for her to be this way, she had to hurt so badly. It ripped my heart out, seeing her finding comfort in another person, almost as much as knowing that I was the one to do all of it to her. It made me look so bad, to everyone. Hearing Changbin call out to Han that she was slipping, I’ve never heard a voice like that before. I’ve never heard screams like hers. I should’ve never tested her, calling our child “it”. She has been trying so hard, comforting me non-stop, that it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, that she’ll be on top of it. To let me know in the cutest way. Nothing’s more cute than finding out on your third anniversary that your family is going to get bigger.

It hurt me saying that, calling them “it”, that was exactly why I knew it would get the job done. I needed to peel her away from Changbin without touching her, but it worked a little too well. Why was I punsihing her, punishing them? I think the answer to that is simple. I don’t want the attention on me. Which is counterintuitive, given my natural tendencies. Right now, in this moment, I don’t want to be acknowledged. The way that they see me right now threatens everything I worked for, and it looks like everyone chose their side to stand on. Me giving them more of a chance to hate me is only going to make my job down the road harder.

I think some of the boys could tell. I am royally pissed. I got caught, which for one is annoying, but for all of them to take her side? That was infuriating. I spent so long honing them, training them. I always protected them, supported them. It is infuriating to have people that you did everything for to just dismiss you. Why were’nt they comforting me? That child was mine too. Why am I not getting any condolences? Hell, when we had no money to eat, I wouldn’t eat just so the 8 could have something… anything. The days I went to bed starving, the nights I worked around the clock to give them the opportunities that they now take advantage of.

This is how they repay me? Screaming at me left and right, Changbin threatening to kill me, even Felix turned his back. I just fucked a side piece… I mean I know what that caused is on me. That I was responsible for what happened to our child. If I could feel like I was attached I am sure I would’ve been a wreck. Something that was mine being taken away does that to a person like me. One thing is for sure, I truly never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to look bad, hurting her would do that, and so I made sure to tread lightly, my go to’s being, “I know Baby, I’m sorry,” and “What time is it? Shit Baby I’m so sorry.”

That didn’t stop me to wanting to have my own little thing. My own little secret. It was a different type of high that I didn’t know I craved… needed. It’s no doubt that Soo did feel better in bed. I could tell she knew what she was doing. Y/N had no experience before me and that did a wonder for my corruption kink, but after that… It was like pulling teeth. I had to teach her everything, so every time we we’d sleep together I had to act like I liked the fact that she’s so innocent. Which I do, but I also don’t want to have to have a health class every time I wanted to have sex. Soo wasn’t like that. She knew what she was doing. Hmmm… maybe I’ll clean up the house and finish what we started.

In the elevator, no one wanted to say anything. I didn’t want to say anything either, I didn’t want to make anything worse than it is. It’s a unique empty feeling. Y/N would look at me like I hung the moon itself. The feelings that she gave me, I was seen, heard, and loved. Constantly reassured. I can’t live without that validation. The minute I walked out of the elevator I didn’t even look back, all I said was “Take care of her. Do what I didn’t, she needs you. Call me if you need anything.” That made me feel a little better, giving them an order, felt like the last say in a way.

It was Seungmin’s voice that cut through, I heard him stop the elevator with is arm, “That was never a question, we’ve always taken care of her, don’t wait up. We all know you’re not used to being the one waiting for someone. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” My lip upticked at his comment. Mostly because I didn’t imagine Seungmin to have balls like that and another was that I didn’t have a rebuttal. I always have a rebuttal. He’s right though, I always kept her waiting, not the other way around. It always made me feel important, that she needed me to go to bed well, that she craved to feel me.Yet now I find myself willing to wait an eternity if it meant being able to hold her one more time, to have her cook for me, then to cuddle up and pass out together, all of that shit I see as a waste of time. To think I hate needing someone yet here I am, needing her.

I kept walking after I heard the elevator close. By the time I made it to the car I was trying my hardest not to collapse. My wife was in that hospital, fighting for her life, after I caused her to miscarry, a baby we have been wanting since our first anniversary. I am enraged. I’ve never felt so out of control and it’s driving me crazy. I am always in control. That is the only way that I function. It is something that I pride myself on. Now everything is out of place everyone stepped out of line. All I have to do is get them back in their rightful place… Then we can move on.

I’ve never imagined anyone else as the mother of my children, she is giving enough to focus on them while I work on my career. It’s always been Y/N. That thought was the one that made me slam my door a little too hard. She’s going to come back, she’ll be back. She will have my child, we will be happy… When everyone is in their place.

I tried to distract myself as I went home. It felt like an out of body experience, seeing myself in the rearview mirror, hating the person I saw, just for the sole fact of getting caught. It was such a rookie move. I should’ve known that there was something going on when everyone said they were out for the night. No matter how loud I made the radio, I heard noting but her screams. I wanted to blame someone, get the pain as far away from me as possible, trying to make me out to be the good one. I’m not. The only things I’m good at are music and acting. I could still see the little glances she’d give me, convincing herself that I am just busy. She is so trusting, it honestly baffles me. Just another sign that she’s weak.

I wanted to make it her fault. She shouldn’t be so naive. Seeing Soo disappearing at the same time I am? The way that I couldn’t really look her in the eye for most of last month? She should’ve told me sooner. Maybe if she did that our child would still be here. That’s not even including how I’ve had to keep Soo on a shorter leash than anyone, her face gives so much away. The first time she hung out with us I had to take her to another room and tell her to get it together because she almost started crying in front of Y/N. I know that people will say that’s not fair, What part about anything that I’ve done screamed ‘oh this is reasonable’? None. It’s been so long I’ve been doing this that I don’t even remember how all of this started. Ah I remember now.

I guess a year ago it started off with me venting to Soo. I didn’t know why we weren’t conceiving. We timed out the cycles, we did everything correctly, but still it wasn’t happening. If I told the boys I know I would look weaker for it and I didn’t want Y/N to be even more stressed about getting pregnant. Soo validated my feelings and told me that she was always there for me. That was the first mistake. I should’ve gone to Y/N. After a while it went from talking when I was aggravated to talking daily.

I looked forward to those calls so badly. It felt like a little interaction that was all mine. Making her laugh made me feel like when I used to get Y/N to laugh. The butterflies came soon after that, seeing that I got a form of attention I didn’t realize I was missing. About two months ago she told me that she was seeing me as “not just my friends husband”. That made my heart leap in my chest. I should’ve avoided her like the plague after that, I should’ve gone to my wife, but not only would that make her mad, it’d also make sneaking around harder. I did something worse.

“Good to know it’s not one sided.” I felt the words drip out of my mouth, even recounting it makes me a little excited. I turn onto my street and I heard Soo’s voice in my head, “Chris...” I knew it was wrong, I fucking knew it was, “I know. I know it’s wrong.” Then hearing her say, “What if she finds out?” with a giggle. “We’ll be discreet.”

We met up that night. I wanted to scrub myself head to toe, till my skin bled, making sure her scent was gone completely. It was so thrilling, so different, and I hated that I liked it. I liked it so much I knew I had to do it again, and soon too. Every time I came home Y/N was either passed out on the couch or in our bed. Notes left on the counter full of how much she loves me. I still remember the first one from that same night, “I know how forgetful you get in the studio, made extra of your favorite, it’s in the fridge, missed you-XOXO Y/N/N.” I looked at her form on the couch, clearly trying to stay up to see me. I ran to the bathroom to vomit, it made me anxious. I knew that I was playing with a downgraded version of my wife. If anything went wrong, I’d be left with the dollar store version of Y/N. For some reason that anxiety turned to exhiliration. The longer it went on for, the more comfortable I got of having my cake and eating it too.

She never did anything wrong. I asked for space, she gave me space. I asked for anything and she would do it in a heartbeat. She always wanted me happy and stress free. After a while I made it okay in my head by saying that she wants me to be happy and having both make me happy so it’s okay. I know better, I always knew better.

I always got up too early, that way I didn’t afford myself time to see the person that I love in one of my favorite ways to see her, happy and sleeping. The last few days I gave myself that. Feeling the guilt eat me alive, rightfully so. I felt guilty for putting all of this on the line, putting her on the line, not for her, but what losing her means to me. I’d practice my apology while she slept, “I’m so sorry, I love you.”

If it wasn’t for the boys being there, I could’ve had a better handle on her. I could’ve reiterated that practiced apology over and over. I could’ve kept the control I spent years making, which is really the most fucked up thing about all of this. I was in training for almost 10 fucking years, I finally get the perfect group of people who followed perfectly without question. Then Changbin goes ahead and goes soft for Y/N. She’s gorgeous, I know, she’s funny, and kind, but she was also making Bin step out of line a bit. Every time she was around, he would try to take point, try to be the center of attention. At first I thought that it was Bin trying to be cute. When he asked me how he could ask her out a few months after this started, I felt my stomach drop. She threatened everything I worked for. So I spewed some bullshit to make him question himself a bit more while I figured out what to do.

Some wouldn’t see this as a problem. I am not some. I only let my members have center because I permitted it. If I threw myself in the spotlight always, it would look off. So I made myself into the best, most supportive leader, the leader of the 4th generation, how can you get bigger than that? The perfect wife… Y/N. It was perfect, if I had her, not only would I have more control over Bin, but I’d also have the perfect little family one day. That was when I decided to ask her out after getting her separated enough from Bin. Which wasn’t too hard. There were some unseen snags but overall it was easy. Keeping her is going to be just as easy. When she’s healed. Then everyone will fall back in line.

I pull in to my driveway and go to the door. Once I opened up the door, Bins clothes covered in blood were there, taunting me. I walked further into the house, I looked on the mantle, the picture from our wedding hung there. I remember that day, that gorgeous day. I threw it away. That woman with the most infectious smiles, the woman who’d hold me so close during horror movies. I found myself grabbing that picture, I dragged my finger over her face. I heard her voice, “I love you”, and I collapsed on the floor, right next to the clothes, sobbing, clutching the photo. She was so perfect.

I got so mad at that point. I shouldn’t be crying, SHE ISN’T LEAVING ME. I can fix her just like I fixed everything else around me. My perfect wife, My perfect group, MINE.

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r1zingclouds · 3 months ago

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Today, while I can still remain here - Nishizono Renga Birthday SSR Card Story Translation

Happy Birthday, Renga!

(Translation notes at the end)

Renga: (Today’s the birthday of “Nishizono Renga”.)

Renga: (I heard from my manager that there's a leading role lined up that only I can play.)

Renga: Alright, my looks are on point.Time to go.

Yukikaze: Renga.

Yukikaze: Target secured.

Renga: Hah!?

Renga: …

Muneuji: Hachinoya-san. Excuse me, can you raise the rightmost decoration by 2 millimeters? It’s sloping ever so slightly.

Nagi: Got it. Still, it’s really pretty, this ornament.

Muneuji: According to Lu-senpai, it’s customary for celebrations in China. Certainly, the golden glow creates a festive atmosphere.

Renga: ………..

Kafka: Chief-chan, is that the last dish? The drinks have already been brought over.

Chief: Yup. All that’s left is the cake! Yuki-nii is doing a final inspection on it.

Shuumai: Woof. Woof, woof.

Renga: What’s going on?”

Renga: Chief and Yukikaze brought me to the living room all of sudden, sat me down on the sofa with Shuumai, and now a party’s starting!?

Ten: Renga-san, looking good~ That “Today’s protag” sash suits you.

Renga: Hey, Ten! Don’t tell me… No, there’s no doubt…!

Ten: That’s right~. Everyone’s been working hard all night to celebrate your birthday, Renga-san.

Ten: Your manager did us a favor and freed up your schedule for today. Man, everyone’s going at it.

Renga: My manager was in on it…! I had no idea at all…

Renga: (Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to celebrate today because of work…! So this is what my manager meant with the “leading role only I can play!”)

Renga: That means… all this food and decorations are for me?

Toi: Need to align them by height a bit better… there. Acrylic stands and Uchiwa fans go over here…

Renga: …Hm? What is Toi doing?

Kafka: Making a shrine. It's a custom among fans who want to do something extravagant for their favorite celebrity's birthday, and Toi can relate all too well.

Kafka: Hand-making goods and amassing official ones... He’s been arranging merch and fan letters that arrived at your office since morning.

Renga: Since morning!? Then I should he…!

Liguang: Hold it.

Renga: Uwah! What’s wrong with you, Liguang, pushing me onto the sofa all of sudden!

Linguang: Stop messing around and sit down like a guest of honor should. It pisses me off to look at you.

Renga: You, you didn’t have to put it that way!

Shuumai: Woof!

Renga: …Are you saying I should sit down too, Shuumai?

Shuumai: Woofwoof!

Renga: …! I, I see. Got it.

Renga: (Since I’m playing a role no one else can do, I should act the part… everyone's be happier that way, right?)

Renga: …

Toi: Whew… Is this the last one?

Toi: Ah? There’s still one box left! I need to open it quickly!

Renga: That’s it, I can’t do it anymore!

Renga: Toi! Let me give you a hand!

Liguang: Tsk.

Ten: My, my.

Yukikaze: Sorry to keep you waiting. Please, give it up for the “Golden Sunrise Celeb Rose Cake”.

Kafka: We’re all finished here, what about you?

Toi: All done! Thanks to Renga-san, we’ve completed the shrine!

Chief: Then, let’s get the party started!

Chief: Renga-kun.

HAMA Tours: Happy Birthday!

Renga: Tha…thank you.

Ten: Here, for you. It’s a dog toy. Go nuts and play with Shuumai until it breaks.

Nagi: I chose shears for pruning roses. Feel free to ask for gardening advice anytime.

Yukikaze: My present is a travel bag. It has a large capacity and many pockets, so it can fit plenty of snacks, tissues and the like. I hope it comes in handy for both studio and location shooting.

Renga: (All of these presents have so much feeling behind them. I can tell how much they thought of me when choosing these.)

Yukikaze: …Is someone at the door?

Toi: Ah… I’ll get it!

Toi: Uwah!?

Muneuji: There was a huge noise.

Renga: What happened, Toi?

Toi: We’ve a p…problem! The gift box got stuck in the door!

Courier: A parcel for Nishizono-sama. Please sign here.

Kafka: With this volume, it can hardly be called a present, can it? It’s more like a shipment of goods for a sales event.

Nagi: The door is creaking. Better use the front entrance.

Yukikaze: It’s from Renga’s father. The note says “To Renga, and the HAMA Tours employees who always look after my son.”

Yukikaze: What a kind parent.

Chief: Amazing, Renga-kun! You received such a huge present!

Renga: Well, I guess? Once you get on my level, that's normal…

Toi: I wonder if I can carry it somehow…

Renga: Hey, Toi! Don’t try to carry it alone!

Ten: Is it okay for today’s protag to be such a busy bee?

Liguang: Tsk, he doesn’t realize he’s just causing extra headaches on the organizers’ side.

(the Live 2D animations (wordlessly) show that Renga tries to help Toi, starts shaking, probably because he can't handle the weight, but Yukikaze and Nagi catch and stabilize him)

Chief: Ahaha… Isn’t that just like him, though?

Part 2

Renga: Nom, nom… The cake Ushio made is really tasty….

Renga: I feel like I’ve heard enough “congratulations” today to last me a lifetime.

Renga: The birthday party was fun, too.

(flashback)

Nanaki: Then, it’s a promise. On our next day off?

Renga: Ah, yeah. Thanks for the invite, Nanaki. Can’t wait for the live soccer match.

Nanaki: I’m glad you’re on board. I have two replica uniforms, so let's wear them when we go.

Nanaki: Sunglasses will be a must for you, though… It’d be something else if people realized you’re at the venue, Nishizono-san.

Shuumai: Woofwoof, woof!

Renga: What’s up, Shuumai, you want to go, too?

Renga: Too bad, you can’t enter the stadium. Cheer up, I’ll toss you the ball I got from Ten…

Yachiyo: R-R-R-Renga-san! Renga-sa-!

Yachiyo: Uwa-!?

*sound of things falling over*

Nanaki: He fell head first into a cardboard box…

Renga: Yachiyo, you alright?

Yachiyo: S-sorry! I tried, but I couldn’t pull the brakes fast enough!

Renga: Why’re you in such a hurry?

Yachiyo: W-w-well, there was a letter for Renga-san left at the door, so I wanted to deliver it…

Renga: A postcard? Wonder who sent it…

Renga: (Happy Birthday to the both of us)

Renga: …!

Renga: I see. Thanks for bringing it to me.

(flashback ends)

Renga: It was a good day.

Renga: Who’s it?

Kinari: Nishizono-sama, excuse me for bothering you during your rest.

Kinari: I have been designated as your gift-giver as a part of the Random Gift System.

Renga: I-it’s time!

Renga: Much appreciated. Well, come in.

Kinari: Understood. Then, if you would accept this item.

Renga: A rose shaped… earring?

Kinari: After receiving the order, I discovered it while searching for a gift that would be suitable for Nishizono-sama.

Kinari: The initial search returned 27506 results. Subsequently, the list was narrowed down to 18549 options.

Kinari: I’ve heard from the Master that Nishizono-sama is partial to roses, which is why I’ve chosen this accessory.

Renga: You also put lots of thought into it. I really appreciate that.

Kinari: Happy Birthday, Nishizono-sama. May you be loved by many people from now on, as well.

Renga: I-idiot! That much is a given!

Renga: After all… After all, I’m Nishizono Renga!

Renga: (Up until now, I’ve always tried to act in a way that’d befit [Nishizono Renga])

Renga: But today is a little different than usual. I feel like they’re also celebrating [me]).

Renga: I’m glad I could stay here.

Staff: Time for a commercial!

MC: Renga-kun, wasn’t it your birthday the other day? Congrats.

Renga: Yeah, thanks.

MC: I’ve been wondering, are these earrings something you brought from home? They look great on you!

Renga: Right? It’s because they were chosen by an important friend… as a gift that suits me best!

You can read my translations of the Mayors and Yachiyo's voice lines for Renga's birthday here!

Translation notes:

The card story title: ここにいらえる今日を, is cut off: it's missing a verb that should go after を, so the information what is exactly done with/about this day (ここにいらえる is modifying, or describing what kind of "today" it is, instead). This is possibly to make it more ambiguous in meaning and slightly foreboding. You could put fill the blank in different ways, but since there's no clear indication and the difference in sentence structure would place the missing verb at the beginning, I decided to leave it out altogether to avoid further confusion.

Some possible ways to complete the title would be, for example: to celebrate, to cherish, to remember; or it could also be a toast, if you added 祝して、乾杯 at the end, as in "Cheers to today"

Renga's manager: As far as I know their gender isn't known, so I tried to avoid personal pronouns.

Renga shrine: Japanese fans are known for their extravagance while practicing this custom, such as renting a whole studio room and lining up hundreds of items, so I took some liberties with Kafka's first line to emphasize that - he only mentions fans who "want to celebrate" and that doesn't really relay the scale of what seems to have been going on, what with Toi having multiple boxes of stuff prepared.

#18trip #18trip translation #nishizono renga #murakumo ten #lu liguang #hachinoya nagi #oguro kafka #shiramitsu toi #azekawa kinari #nanamegi nanaki #best wishes snap

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azrielslightintheshadows · 1 year ago

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Shadows and tears

So this is a series about Azriel and reader. English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes. I hope you like it!

Summary: Reader is a tortured soul who barely escaped the brutality of the Illyrian camps finding shelter in the Day Court. Her identity was well hidden until she caught the attention of the Night Court’s Shadowsinger. Will the mating bond be enough for their love to settle in?

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse and trauma

You don't need a tissue box.....yet

Masterlist

Prologue , Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7 , Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Chapter 4

Snap

You woke up, your head pounding, you stomach turning, and you groaned. You threw the duvet off and got up realising you are still wearing your dress. You remembered Mor winnowing you home to the house and nothing else, you must have taken off your heels and jump into bed. You got ready for training, leaving your room to get breakfast hoping it will calm your nausea. You managed to find the dining room without any mistake this time and found everyone already sitting on the table munching down their breakfast, only Mor looked as bad as you, staring at the food like she would puke on top of it.

“Good morning you look like shit” “Always the charmer Cassian” Nesta replied before you could.

You noticed that the only empty chair was between Mor and Nesta, the one you used the other morning next to the spymaster was occupied by the annoyingly sweet girl. You felt an ache in your chest but ignored it taking a seat between the two beautiful females. Mor looked at you and smiled “Me and Nesta are planning to go to Rita’s tonight, would you like to come?” “Yes y/n Mor told me you had so much fun” Nesta almost screamed, a genuine smile on her face, her eyes shining. You couldn’t ignore how beautiful she looks like that.

“Of course” you smiled.

You felt a pair of eyes on you so you lifted your gaze meeting Azriel’s hazel ones. Some scenes flushed in your mind, him on the balcony staring the city bellow, your head on his shoulder, a smile on his face, you shook your head, a blush creeping on your face as you thought you dreamed of him last night. He sent you a curious look, slightly tensing but his focus turning to the girl next to him as she touched his shoulder and whispered something to him. Everyone at the table noticed their interaction but didn’t bother to acknowledge it as they continued what they were doing but with an annoyed look on their faces. “So, y/n are you training with Az again today?” It was Cassian who pulled your attention from the couple. Pulling also Azriel’s focus from the girl next to him. “I think so…” you replied your gaze falling to Azriel in a silent question.

“But Azzie I thought you could help me with my garden today” Elain -if you remember correct from what Mor told you last night- whined, you almost cringed at the high pitch noise.

“I’m sorry Elain” Azriel muttered a tight smile on his lips.

You thought about telling him that it’s okay, you could train tomorrow but your selfish side wanted his full attention, so you kept your mouth shut only offering Elain an apologetic smile. Azriel cleared his throat and stood up. “Are you ready?” he asked you, noticing that you were only playing with the food on your plate as you were feeling nauseous. You nodded and got up saying goodbye to the rest and following him to the balcony. At first you were curious, but then you remembered that Cassian was going to train the Valkyries on the roof, so you had to find another place.

“You know how to fly right?” Azriel questioned examining your wings that had faded scars at their base from the clipping you escaped. You nodded and flexed your wings shooting to the sky with a smile on your face. When you were younger you would sneak out of the room your parents kept you into with your brother and went on long flights, until your father caught you and threw you into a cell. However, you had the chance to fly again in the day court but not frequently since Helion kept your identity hidden in case someone informed Rhysand. You turned to see Azriel next to you his hair a mess from the wind smiling and enjoying the feeling of the sun closer to you two.

“Follow me” he shouted and dove in the clouds, you did as he asked, trying to keep your balance, it had been way too long since the last time you were able to fly so freely. Azriel noticed that and slowed down staying on your side in case you needed help. After some minutes you landed on a beautiful hill, full of fae flowers, you had seen them again, your mother used to have those she adored the way they sparkled at night. You thought of her, you didn’t know what the consequences for her were after helping you escape, you knew they wouldn’t be good.

“Let’s begin” Azriel announced taking a seat on the ground gesturing for you to do the same. The day went by quickly and you felt like you could almost control your shadows completely, not like Azriel of course who used them in his missions. You could keep them tight around you, let them flow away -not unnoticed by others- and inform you of their findings and use them to cover yourself -still not unnoticed by others-. It was a start though and Azriel was surprised by how quickly you followed his advises and managed to correct yourself without him pointing your mistakes.

Afternoon found you and Azriel sitting on the hill telling stories about times your shadows embarrassed you laughing freely. As time went by you completely forgot about your plans with Mor and Nesta it was around midnight when Azriel got up and announced that you have to get back to the house reminding you also about girl’s night. You hurried on your feet stumbling.

“I have to be at Rita’s” you muttered quickly and jumped off the edge of the cliff, your wings taking into action immediately and pushing you through the wind. You landed in front of Rita’s and run inside almost knocking down a waiter on your way. You quickly scanned the place and found Nesta and Mor in a booth drinking and singing, you squeezed through the bodies of the dancing faes and got to the booth. “Girl, I know you can do better than Illyrian leathers” Mor cringed taking in your form.

“Sorry training took longer than expected” you muttered, and your shadows shot up to cover you.

“I hoped other things took longer than expected” Nesta winked “but now that I see your shadows covering you, I guess it was only training” she continued with a disapproving look. A hint of pride inside those beautiful eyes as she noticed the progress with your shadows.

You felt your cheeks burning causing Nesta to burst into laughter, Mor following suit.

“You are awful” you scowled taking your seat next to them. They only laughed harder.

“How long do you think it’s going to take for shadow boy to realize that she is the one for him” Mor said, and you almost choked on the drink the waiter has brought you remembering you from the other night.

“I’m not the one for him” you gasped staring at them wide eyed.

“Oh come on, shadows, tortured in the past, wings, you two are practically the same” Nesta replied rolling her eyes.

“You know sometimes we need the opposite of us not the same” you replied, your heart burning as you did. You knew that you had already fallen for the shadowsinger but his heart belonged to Elain and maybe that’s the way it should be, maybe it’s for the better.

Mor just shrugged, her look only telling you that she rooted for you and Azriel. Nesta fell silent but kept the same look as Mor.

“Anyway, how is it going with you and the brute?” Mor turned to Nesta not missing the thankful look you sent her way.

You spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything and for the first time you felt like you could fit somewhere, Afterall you deserved a family, didn’t you?

The rest of the days went by easily, you and Azriel spent most of your time together having fun. The moments you spent with the others you would both send longing looks at each other and when everyone said their goodnights you would stay at the balcony together. It was a month later when you had landed without a sound on the balcony -thanks to the training with the shadow singer- that you found him on the couch with Elain in his arms, kissing her like a starved male, a bile climbed in your throat and then you felt it…

Snap.

#acotar #acotar series #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #feyre archeron #rhysand

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darsynia · 2 years ago

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Hand(s) Off | Ch 4: Entropy

(Steve Rogers/f!Reader sex pollen-esque multichapter)

gif by @captainevans

STORY MASTERLIST | STEVE MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

Summary: Steve’s loved hearing about you from Bucky. He doesn’t want anything to derail the progress his best friend has made toward being a whole person again, which is why he’s going to use every ounce of his slowly-deteriorating willpower to resist touching you, tasting you, taking you. After all, he’s just met you, and his own integrity, not to mention Bucky’s trust, is important to him.

Neither of you are prepared for the catch.

Length | Warnings: 3,752 | male masturbation MINORS DNI

Fill: Adoptable ‘Pheremones’ from @allcapsbingo

Tags (please request!): @starryeyes2000 @munstysmind @ronearoundblindly @chickensarentcheap @themaradaniels @tiny-anne @deepbatched @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wolfstar-marvelsfan @icequeen1371 @chibijusstuff @nekoannie-chan @brooke0297 @caplanreads

Excerpt:

Bucky’s smiling. He’s still sitting with his back to the wall as usual, but he looks relaxed, even though the place has filled up considerably since they got here. Suddenly, Steve realizes that this isn’t just about the thing between the two of you, it’s about Bucky showing he’s made progress. His friend would probably strangle himself with his metal hand than admit that’s what he’s doing, of course, but that’s what’s going on, here. Growth. It’s almost enough to make Steve choke up-- but he hears a burst of piano notes and a cymbal crash that draw his attention to the stage.

There’s a rich red curtain that angles in an oval around the stage area, and it parts in the middle right as he looks up. A woman steps through, her face obscured by the stage lights that inexpertly angle towards her. She’s wearing a stunner of a dress, a rhinestone-studded sheath that cups her breasts as tightly as everywhere else, all except for the thigh high slit that instantly sends his pulse racing. When she makes it to the microphone, Steve sees that the gown is blue, navy blue, just like his suit. She’s also wearing a delicate mesh jacket that hides nothing but adds class, its see-through sleeves extending to her wrists, collar reaching up to tease her jawline.

The spotlight’s harsh glare finally softens, and he can see her smile. Your smile.

Oh shit, Steve thinks to himself.

Entropy

Steve’s taken to jogging through the city again.

At first he told himself it was because he didn’t want to feel confined to the tower, but that’s only a small part of it. Ever since his overdose of Mistress, he’s felt a strange urgency for motion, even at night. He’s chalked it up to guilt; Steve has… fond memories of what transpired between the two of you, no matter how much he’s tried to tell himself that’s wrong. That dichotomy itches under his skin, builds up to the point where he has to physically work it off, like some strange sort of debt that must be paid.

The problem is, it’s not getting better. It might actually be getting worse-- two weeks have gone by, and still, somehow, he wants to see you. He’d thought that would pass, had counted on it to pass.

The repair work is almost finished on the apartment, meaning he won’t need to sleep on the couch anymore. Steve’s looking forward to that, beyond what it feels like to live out of laundry baskets in the living room. He misses his bed, though it won’t be the same bed. All the furniture is set to be replaced, just in case the proliferation of Mistress has left any residue behind. He suspects that’s not really necessary, but Tony and Bucky won’t tell him what happened during their confrontation. All he can see are the after effects, the way Tony is being almost embarrassingly thorough on top of apologetic.

When Steve gets in from his twenty mile run, sweat-soaked and still buzzing internally, Bucky blocks his path to the bathroom.

“You ok?”

Steve looks at his friend. He’s dressed to go out, hair in a bun-thing at the back of his neck, tight pants, leather jacket. It’s Saturday morning, so that means--

He suppresses the immediate instinct to ask about you.

“I’m fine.” The skepticism in Bucky’s expression strikes Steve like a minor version of the fist to his face he’d earned two weeks ago. He forces a shrug. “Trouble sleeping.”

One side of Bucky’s lip turns up. “Might be easier if you forgive yourself long enough to jack off right before.”

“What, are you spying on me at night? Creepy, James,” Steve grits out, shoving past Bucky to head for the bathroom. The problem is, Buck’s right. He hasn’t touched himself at all since Mistress, and it only now occurs to him that maybe that’s the source of the weird build-up/unease he’s been feeling. “Go spend time with your friend and leave me to it, then.” Crap. He hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud.

Bucky’s silence speaks volumes, and Steve risks a look over at him as he opens the bathroom door. His expression is worse.

“Not spying. I can just tell.” Bucky’s gloating, like he’s flipped a switch Steve couldn’t reach, or something. “You know, she still wants to talk to you.”

“Still no,” Steve barks back. He goes into the bathroom and shuts the door, probably a bit harder than he ought to have, because his friend’s laughter floats down the hallway and out the front door.

Talking to you would be a mistake, not until he can shake whatever compulsion he feels to see you again, to know what you look like happy, safe, and uninfluenced by the drug. Those thoughts are innocent enough, but that’s not all Steve wants.

He won’t even let himself think about the other things he wants. Those desires have clearly been unnaturally created by the combination of the drug itself and his natural sense of fidelity. He’s touched you in a way that gave you both pleasure. He knows what you taste like. Those are intimate things, ideally things a man shares only with someone he’s meant to cherish and protect.

Bottom line, his mind is confused, and he needs to clear that up before he sees you again.

Steve strips down and steps into the shower. It was a mistake to let his mind stray so close to those moments with you right before this, he realizes too late. The vibrating clamor in his mind that he’d tried to chase away with physical activity is back with a vengeance, and all he can think about is Bucky’s suggestion to touch himself. What he should do is put the water on cold at full blast and empty his mind… but would it be so bad to take advantage of this opportunity? It’s the first full erection he’s allowed himself to have in weeks.

He puts the water on and turns it hotter than normal.

There’s a ringing in Steve’s ears as he reaches down and sets his hand on his right thigh. The warm, welcoming water beats down on his bowed head, mere trickles making their way to the thatch of hair around his cock. He’s already too warm, every inch of his skin thrumming with the electricity of what he’s about to do. It’s not wrong, but it’s not right, either.

He tells himself he has to do this with a blank slate, no mental images, no associations. As soon as his hand closes around his cock, those high-minded ideals burn to ash. His eyes are closed; he hadn’t turned on the bathroom light, and the door has long-since shut automatically, so it’s dark, dark as his bedroom had been.

Steve strokes once, immediately bracing himself against the tile wall with his other hand, because holy hell, it feels so good it could be a medical result. He’d held off touching himself until now out of a sense of… of civic duty, and fuck, if this is his reward, he’s earned it. Steve gasps helplessly with each successive slide of his fist, powerless to stop, desperate to continue. Unbidden, he imagines you on the other side of the wall he’s holding himself up with, as though you’re once again suffering the same delicious torture as he is.

All too soon, he feels the tightening clench of his approaching orgasm, the buzzing in his chest brought to a frenzy with the promise of release-- and then the feeling plateaus and pauses. Steve spins around and shoulders up to the wall, begging and threatening in turns as he chases the suddenly elusive pleasure with his hips and hands. Behind him, the wall gives a little, and small pieces of plaster start to fall.

“Bruce, with respect, you’ll have to ask her.”

Banner’s hair is already in disarray, and at this, he runs his hand back through it, face full of distress. “You’re not really suggesting I ask this woman I’ve never met whether or not she is capable of having a--” He breaks off, obviously horrified. “Why can’t you, uh… ask Barnes to…”

“I thought of that,” Steve says.

He did. He knows that Bucky’s been very clear about whether or not his friendship with you has potential to shift away from the platonic, but he also thinks that friendship is the best groundwork for something more. He’s already undermined that foundation thanks to the calamity you two shared combined with his own closeness with Bucky. There’s no escaping either association. He’ll be damned if he weakens that friendship further.

“Bruce, the best I can tell you is to get her contact information from Bucky and get in tou--” he stops, face reddening. His next instinct is to say ‘reach out,’ which is also a no go. Somehow every reference he makes to you is tactile.

“Got it,” Bruce says quickly. “Thanks.”

Steve nods, grateful to get out of there, but Banner calls out one last time when he reaches the door.

“I’ll probably need to take more vials once a week for a while at least, so we can figure this all out.”

“Understood,” Steve says, speeding up. Blood draws he can do, but to be reminded of the whole situation every week for the foreseeable future? Not ideal, especially since he’s already thinking about it every day.

A few days later, he’s finishing up making dinner when Bucky slouches in and leans his shoulder up on the wall nearby.

“That restless thing getting worse?”

Steve just nods. He’s starting to worry, because he can’t be the only one who’s overdosed on the stuff, and just because Bruce hasn’t found any reports of similar experiences doesn’t mean they’re not happening. People could be too ashamed to say anything, but if they’re having the exact same symptoms he is…

“I need to ask--” Bucky falls silent, clearly uncomfortable.

Suddenly, Steve’s certain he knows what Bucky’s trying to say. There’s no power on Earth that could compel him to make it any easier, though. For a bright few seconds he considers doing something drastic with dinner to get out of the rest of the conversation.

“Do you want garlic bread?” he asks, instead.

“Damnit, Steve!”

“I’ll take that as ‘no.’”

Bucky shoves off from the wall and stalks past him, opening a drawer with the kind of petulance usually seen in teenagers. Steve decides it’s the exact right time to take the full garbage to the chute, and when he returns, Buck’s got a sauce-wet spoon in his hand and a disgruntled expression.

He nods to the spaghetti sauce on the stove. “That’s pretty good. It’s also proof that you don’t mind doing things the hard way, so here goes: Dee says she can’t orgasm anymore. Can you?”

Steve’s completely and utterly speechless. Bucky’s just thrown a grenade, and Steve has never in his life been an uncaring bystander. The part of his brain that has clearly imprinted on you is standing at attention, screaming that he’s culpable, that this is his battle to fight alongside you. He swallows hard and forces himself to answer.

“No.”

“Shit,” Bucky sighs. He opens a cupboard door, pulls out something, and thrusts it and the mixing spoon into Steve’s hands. “Finish up, I’m taking you with me to her show tonight.”

“I don’t think talking to her about something like this at her place of business is the best--”

“No talking, just listening,” Bucky interrupts. “You, listening to her sing. If the two of you got long-term messed up by that stuff, and that was the only time you ever spent around each other, that’s not going to help you get fixed.”

Bucky leaves without giving any time to respond, which is fine, because he’s right, and Steve doesn’t really feel like acknowledging that right now. He looks down to see that Bucky has given him a container of sugar, implying that’s what the sauce needs. It’s a testament to how worried he must be about you that he hadn’t made a joke about the juxtaposition of those two situations.

Trusting his best friend is almost always the best course of action, but that doesn’t make it easy every time. Steve tries the sauce, stirs in some sugar, and tries it again.

“Yeah, okay,” he mutters to himself.

Bucky sticks to small talk or silence as they eat their spaghetti, and after putting away the leftovers, Steve slips through the nearly-finished door to his bedroom and changes into a suit. It’s a navy blue one he bought himself with his own money, not one of the fancier ones Tony got for him for Avenger stuff. When he gets back into the living room, though, Bucky looks surprised.

“You know this is a bar, right? You look like a lawyer.”

He looks down at himself. “Isn't tonight the 40’s thing?”

Bucky’s bringing over a dusty-looking blue jacket and gesturing for Steve to take off the suit coat. “Sure it is, but we’re going for Cagney over Stewart. More Clint than Tony, yeah?”

It’s a Moment, because Bucky doesn’t usually refer to the other Avengers like that, he’s still off by himself more often than not, still adjusting. Steve covers his pleased reaction by turning away as he removes his blazer and puts on the proffered jacket. When he turns around, he’s granted a begrudging nod, and they head out.

The venue is a bar/restaurant, with a solid wall separating the two areas except for the back third. It’s already busy, with a line to enter, and Steve notes with surprise that the doorman seems to recognize Bucky. That puts his qualms about Steve’s clothing a bit more in context, especially since his friend is more defendant than prosecutor tonight, tight jeans, black leather, long hair down, the works. There are other men in suits, though, and when they walk inside, Steve even sees couples dressed in vintage wear holding cocktails.

“This is a whole thing?” he murmurs to Bucky.

“Just wait.”

They end up at a table in the back, but the place is well built, and it’s easy to see the stage from where they’re sitting. The lighting is dim but warm, and Steve feels a frisson of excitement to get a chance to hear you really sing. He can still pull up the memory of your sexy humming under his blanket-- the same one he’s been using on the couch.

He’s, uh, not going to tell you that, though. That would be even more inappropriate than showing up at a performance like he has any right to distract you with his presence.

That thought sends Steve into a spiral of concern, enough to take a few gulps of whiskey and actually feel its tingle before his metabolism evens things out.

“What is with you?” Bucky sets a heavy hand on Steve’s where he’d been drumming his fingers on their small circular table.

“You should have warned her. Did you warn her?”

“Why?”

“The-- thing that happened, it’s obviously still affecting both of us. She’s a performer, seeing me here could throw her off.” He shoves his chair back, downs the rest of his drink.

“Don’t be an idiot, she’s a professional. And you’re going to want to hear this, trust me.”

The spotlight’s harsh glare finally softens, and he can see her smile. Your smile.

Oh shit, Steve thinks to himself.

“Well, hello there, my darlings!” you purr, turning to gesture to the musicians behind you. As you do so, your left leg extends from the slit in your dress, and Steve catches his breath.

So does a significant portion of the audience.

Beside him, Bucky’s obvious throat-clear is tinged with amusement, but Steve refuses to look over.

“I’m going to start with one of our remixes. This is Lovefool, by the Cardigans-- if it had come out in ‘45.”

He doesn’t recognize the song, but that hardly matters. Your voice is just as sultry as he’d expected, and the song is as sassy as it is sexy. Steve’s completely captivated, leaning forward, eyes locked to your every move. Your stage presence is expert-level, and though he and Bucky are at the back of the room, he can tell that you’re making warm, welcoming eye contact with patrons all over the room. It’s only a matter of time before you see him.

He has a sudden, desperate wish that he’d met you the same way Bucky had, organically, without the lingerie-sporting giant Elephant in the room. As the song winds down, Steve feels like it’s his responsibility to lean back, to minimize his presence, to protect you from the knowledge that he’s there. You’ll be looking for Bucky, most likely, and that makes Steve’s presence at the same table selfish, even cruel.

Steve lifts his hand up to cover part of his face-- but it’s too late. Your eyes sweep the back of the room, face lighting up as you tip your head forward. You’ve clearly seen Bucky. Steve’s breath catches as you shift your gaze and meet his eyes. You freeze right as the music does, your smile sobering just long enough for those two actions to be clearly related.

Is there a little apologetic quirk in your eyebrows as you pull in a breath to continue singing? Surely he’s imagining it… but then you close your eyes and tip your head back, clasping the old-style microphone with both hands to support you as you start to sing again.

"So I cry, and I pray, and I beg…"

By the end of the set, Steve’s body is humming with heat and admiration. He fully understands how it is that Bucky came back to hear you, time after time. You and your band have a delightful grasp on the genre, weaving genuine 40’s hits with modern songs sung in a recognizable style. Some of the lyrics of those remixed songs feel like a stinging indictment of the intervening years, to the point where Steve’s entirely certain it’s on purpose. He’d never thought of music in that way before, especially not sung in a venue like this.

“You still breathing over there?” Bucky asks after a few minutes of silence, amused.

“Thinking about it,” Steve admits. “I see why you kept coming back.”

Bucky stands and stretches, pressing both hands to his lower back. He’s bending in a way that would get him more attention if they weren’t in the darkest corner of the place. “Yeah.” The single word carries a lot with it.

“If you want to go over and--”

“Nah, not my thing. We can go.”

Steve is offended for you by proxy. “She won’t feel like you’re, I don’t know…” he trails off instead of guessing the reactions of a woman he doesn’t know very well. You deserve attention from your best friend after a performance like that.

“I usually don’t talk to her in person after, but I can give you her number if you want to text her your compliments.” Bucky’s grin is best described as shit-eating. Steve must look confused, because after the two walk out into the night air, Buck explains, “Dee says she likes to ‘foster mystery.’ I’m one of the only people she ever came out to talk to. I looked grouchy as hell the first three of these I showed up for, according to her. She threatened to deck me.”

“She what?” Steve’s heart may have just fluttered, which is concerning.

“She said the pianist has a lot of performance anxiety, and my glowering was making it hard for him. I promised to practice my smiles.” Bucky turns and grins so maniacally that Steve cracks up. Then his friend shrugs. “Broke the ice, I guess. Glad you enjoyed yourself.”

He did. Steve might go as far as to say he feels like a different person in a couple of ways, as a friend as well as a man. The former has to do with understanding one of the big reasons why Bucky’s made so much progress over the past few months. The latter is more physical.

He feels settled, somehow. The buzzing, anxious feeling that has been plaguing him for weeks is somehow gone, and its absence is palpable. It’s hard not to think that has something to do with you, but whether that’s actually true is hard to say.

His clothes have a distinct ‘spent hours at a bar’ smell to them, which means his hair and skin probably do, too, so Steve hops in the shower not long after they get back to the tower.

It isn’t until he’s finished washing his hair that he realizes there might be scientific significance to his state of contentment. The thought makes him laugh out loud, because he knows what desperation feels and tastes like, and this is indistinguishable. Still, he wants, no-- needs to come, for more than one reason, and if his analytical mind can produce such a selfless-sounding reason, who is he to argue?

Steve Rogers can’t really drink alcohol fast enough to end up drunk, not unless he really tries, but tonight, he feels drunk on multiple things. Surprise, maybe. Your music, certainly. Definitely that dress.

The first touch of his soap-slick hand on his cock is glorious. Steve adjusts the sprayer so the hot water is directly striking his chest, shuts his eyes, and sets a brutal rhythm. Soon he’s panting, the pleasure so exquisite that he can’t stop himself from moaning every few strokes. There’s a liquid fire that’s spreading from his groin all the way to his toes and the tips of his ears, and this time he just knows he’ll be able to do it, he can finish.

Steve lurches forward to brace his forehead on the wall and ruts into his fist, keening against the beauty of it. His body is rushing toward the cliff of the best orgasm he’s ever, ever had-- but no matter how perfectly he moves his hand, how fast or slow he rocks his hips, he can’t push past whatever barrier there is stopping him from coming.

He slams his hand on the tile in utter, agonized frustration.

Pain blooms in his palm, the blood bright on the white tile. Steve just stands there and watches for a long minute. The shower swirls the diluted blood around the crumbled chunks as the red liquid seeks escape down the drain.

Something is deeply wrong, and he really hopes the answer is somewhere in those cells.

Next chapter...

#allcapsbingo2023 #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america smut #captain america x f!reader #steve rogers x f!reader #captain america x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel smut #mcu smut #mcu fanfiction #sex pollen #humor #romance

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ultrakart · 8 months ago

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One morning Seika wakes up with a sticky note stuck to her forehead. She peels the thing off and flips it over to see a note that just says “IOU”.

The note isn’t signed, but there’s a little doodle of a face with a shark teeth grin, which at least answers the question of who left the note.

But what is the note for?

Seika inwardly groans and crumples the sticky note in her palm. Whatever it is, she’ll chew out her for it later.

She rolls out of bed, stretches her arms above her head, then trudges out of her room and into the kitchen where Nijika is already making breakfast.

Nijika glances up from the skillet she’d been frying something in.

“Onee-chan, good mor— huh?”

“Mmm. Good morning,” Seika mumbles before plopping herself down in a chair.

“Er, Onee-chan… what happened to your…?” Nijika points a finger up to her own hair.

“My what?”

“Your— just look.” Nijika grabs Seika by the hand and drags her to the bathroom.

Seika takes a look at herself in the bathroom mirror. She blinks, tries rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, then warily reaches a hand up to the top of her scalp.

But her eyes do not deceive; the Dorito is really gone.

“She took it,” Seika says, voice vindictive.

Just by her sister’s tone of voice, Nijika can already figure out who she is.

Seika lets out a guttural noise. “If I strangle Hiroi, do you think they’ll believe it was self defense?”

“Probably not.”

Seika grunts in response, then takes one last look at the crumpled up sticky note in her palm before violently dunking it into the toilet.

#bocchi the rock!#seika ijichi #ijichi seika #nijika ijichi #ijichi nijika #kikuri hiroi #hiroi kikuri

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well-mannered-barbarian · 17 days ago

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Amazing artist and just all around cool dude @mor-ris-on tagged me for selfie. As you wish, bub. Thank you for the tag!

I'm not sure who still does these things so I'll tag the last 5 folks in my notifications. As always, no pressure to participate! @carnalreincarnated @cupcakesinwonderland80 @tattooedzombigirl @mad-again @muri-chan

Have a good one. Peace and love, folks!

#tagged and answered #amazing tumblr peeps #cool moots #selfie

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starrgaziinggg · 2 years ago

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BEGIN AGAIN | hwang hyunjin

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: chapter twenty nine

You were more upset than you expected to be leaving Hyunjin's family in America and travelling back to South Korea. In only two days you'd watched Hyunjin bond with his family, a new side of him revealing itself. It was as though the walls he'd built up around the family aspect of his life had been broken down, and you couldn't be happier for him.

Not only was Hyunjin your boyfriend, but he was also your friend - a friend you'd watched go through a really difficult time whilst his parents divorced, and his mum moved away. You were thrilled your boyfriend was rekindling his relationship with his mum and her family, but you were also overjoyed that nineteen-year-old Hyunjin was getting the closure he had wanted for years.

It was safe to say tears were shed when you and Hyunjin said your goodbyes at the airport when you parted, Hyunjin's mum, her boyfriend, Ella and George coming to the airport to see you off. Even you were crying, the whole atmosphere setting you off. Hyunjin had promised he'd get them over to South Korea whenever it was feasible, and you knew he'd keep that promise.

He didn't stop talking about them the whole plane ride home, his fear of flying pushed to the back of his mind as he squeezed your hand, reminiscing on the short trip. You sat, listening intently at every word he had to say, beaming from ear to ear. You both eventually drifted off to sleep, cutting the time of the journey in half and found yourselves back in Seoul in no time at all. Hyunjin had driven you both back to the apartment, tapping to the music of the playlist you had made for him all that time ago.

It was so endearing to you, how your relationship with Hyunjin had changed so dramatically this year. Love was not something you had planned for yourself, especially over the exam period of the year, yet you couldn't help falling for your friend. It made looking back on all your happy memories as friends so special, knowing how things had turned out between you both.

At one point during your drive home, a song came on that had been playing when you drove to your first proper date, and you couldn't help but get emotional at how thankful you were that Hyunjin reciprocated the feelings you felt for him. He'd noticed, because he'd become extremely observant over you recently, and he just laughed at you, ruffling your hair under his hand.

You got back to your shared apartment, it was late afternoon, so your plan was to sleep for the foreseeable and get rid of your jet lag before you had to start working at the restaurant again. You'd been pondering Hyunjin's suggestion of working for the company, and the more you thought about it you realised how great of an opportunity it would be for you. You'd spoke to him about it a lot, voicing your concerns; that part of you didn't want to take the job opportunity because of your ego, how you didn't want to be seen as just mooching off of your millionaire boyfriend.

He'd explained that he'd never offer you a job if he didn't actually want you to work for him, and that if he thought you were mooching off of his money that he'd break up with you asap. You'd swatted at him as he'd laughed at you, of course. Then, he reminded you how despite not even needing a job whilst you were in a relationship with him, him being financially stable enough to take care of the both of you easily, you still worked for Minho's restaurant, got your degree and had the aspiration of acquiring a job.

That kind of put it into perspective for you. Setting your ego aside, it would make sense for you to work for Hyunjin and Chan's company. One, a lot of your friends already worked there, and you would never, ever say they had 'mooched' off of the two wealthy men in any shape or form. Secondly, you had helped set the company up in the first place, so actually being able to work for it would make you feel like you'd earned your position. Thirdly, you would get to see Hyunjin a lot more, at that was a bonus under any circumstance.

You planned to tell him tonight that if he still wanted to offer you the position, you'd like to have an interview for it. It only felt right, but you knew he would be ecstatic regardless.

Your plans of sleeping off your jet lag were interrupted, though, when you got off of the elevator to the apartment and heard music and noise. You and Hyunjin just shared a look, slowly wheeling your suitcases forward and unlocking the door. It wasn't surprising at all to see your friends in your apartment, a 'welcome home' banner hung up as they all turned to face you when you walked in.

"Hey! Look what the cat dragged in," Minho shouts, smiling warmly at you and Hyunjin. Seungmin gives you both a wave as the guys start coming closer and welcoming you home, hugging the two of you.

"God, you'd think we were gone for a month," you comment cheekily, making fun of your overdramatic friends. You knew this was just an excuse to have a party at Hyunjin and your fancy penthouse apartment, disguised as a welcome home, and a way to get out their homes on a Monday evening, but you indulged them all the same.

"Hey hey hey," Felix interjects, coming over to you to give you a squeeze. "We even made you both a cake! Don't act like you don't love us."

"If it's got salt in it like last time, count me out," you comment, which you see Hyunjin raise an eyebrow at, reminding you he'd no idea what you were talking about. You shook your head with a laugh, taking off your jacket and kicking off your shoes. You kiss Hyunjin on the cheek when he picks up your suitcase to take it through to your bedroom.

"Chan, I gave you keys to the apartment for emergencies only, dick face. I think I specifically said, 'do not use them at your leisure," Hyunjin points out as he walks towards you room, eyebrow raised. Chan simply walks over to your side, throwing an arm round your shoulders.

"Cry me a river, come and eat cake," he grins, which makes you chuckle as you shake your head.

True to their word, the cake was delicious, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were grateful to see your friends familiar faces after the trip. They were your sense of comfort, and after so much excitement it was nice to unwind in your apartment with your boyfriend and friends.

"So, how was it," you hear Felix ask Hyunjin when he returns, and you watch as he grins brightly, jumping into an animated story of your weekend. You shake your head fondly, smiling at him as he talks, until someone waves a hand in your face.

"Hello?" Jeongin chuckles, moving his hand to your shoulder to give you a shake. "I have something exciting to tell you."

You tilt your head at him in anticipation, moving to sit on the edge of your sofa. He smiles at you.

"I may or may not have met someone," he starts, and you can't help but squeal, your eyes widening as you interrupt him.

"You're kidding! Who are they?"

Jeongin laughs at your reaction, a blush forming on his face.

"I met her when I was leaving work - funny story actually, she crashed her car into mine," he explains, and you can't help to laugh. Trust Jeongin to hit on the girl who crashes her car into his. "She was super apologetic and funny, and I said it was alright because there was hardly a scratch on my car but she gave me her insurance. Anyway, I told her she could make it up to me by buying me a drink and we went out Saturday night."

Your heart feels so full. All you've wanted is for your friend to be happy and find someone he likes, and you know how shy he is about dating, so it's a start. You know he must like her if he's telling you about her, because despite the two of you talking about literally everything together, he's always super private about his love life.

"That's amazing," you coo, nudging his arm. "I'm so pleased for you! Are you going to see her again?"

"Yeah, Saturday night," he chuckles, and you make a swooning action which he rolls his eyes at. "Don't go all soppy on me now."

"I can't help it!" You defend yourself. "My babies all grown up! God, I leave the country for all but three days and you've gone and got yourself a girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," he points out, but you pay it no mind. You smile at him, trying not to get emotional, because as you look at him and all your friends you realise how much you've all grown up. Jeongin's seeing someone, Chan has a girlfriend, you and Hyunjin are together - damnit, Changbin's getting married! It's insane to remember your rag tag group of friends as you were at eighteen years old.

After a couple hours, Minho interrupts the conversations. "Can't stay for long," he says, standing up using his hands to push off his thighs. "Work early tomorrow, which you also have."

He points at you with a smirk since you'll be working at the restaurant tomorrow, so you salute back at him, muttering a, 'yes captain.' He and Jisung peel off then, offering Felix a ride home which he gladly accepts. Seungmin and Jeongin leave soon after, you ruffling Jeongin's hair which he swats at you for, followed by Changbin and Chan who are also car sharing. Soon it's just you and Hyunjin, listening to music and cleaning up after your messy friends.

Once the apartment is somewhat clean, you both flop down onto the couch together, utterly drained from your weekend. You don't say anything to each other for a while, you just bask in each others presence as you lean into Hyunjin's embrace and let him play with your hair. He hums to the music as he does so, and you swear you could stay like this with him forever.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, a habit you've noticed he does often. You've realised he likes to know what's going on in your head, especially when you seem to be in your own thoughts.

You sigh, contempt. "I'm thinking about how happy I am," you say honestly. "I'm also thinking about what it would be like to work with you."

You feel him still at your words, manoeuvring you so that he can look you in the eyes and asses your facial features.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly," you reply with a smile. "I've been thinking over it for a while, and I honestly don't see the harm in having an interview."

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, smiling. "You don't need an interview, dummy, I'd hire you no questions asked."

"I know, but it's only fair I get an interview. I don't want the people I work with to think I didn't do anything to earn my position."

Hyunjin looks at you with a dead expression, tilting his head. "You literally helped build the company from the ground up, I think you've earned it already."

You push him lightly for his sarcasm, narrowing your eyes. "I won't even consider the job if you don't interview me, with the person who's in charge of your legal team."

He puts his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay, you win. I'll get Haewon to interview you - she's head of legal, though you've met her a couple of times and she already likes you."

You smile knowing that, since you were honestly worried about not fitting in to the legal team if you get the job, but Hyunjin's words fill you with hope.

"So it's settled?" He asks, playing his hands in yours. "You will work for the company?"

"I will have an interview," you attempt to reason, but it's cut short when he throws his arms around you and burrows his face into your neck.

"I can't wait to see you at work everyday," he says, and you can tell he means it. "Getting to see your gorgeous face will make getting through the day so much easier."

You love how easy it is for him to say things that make your heart flutter.

"You probably won't see me every day," you point out, but he just squeezes you tighter.

"Yeah you will, shut up, stop ruining my dream."

You laugh at him as he pulls away from you, leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips. when he pulls away he stares at you, his look full of love.

"Look at us," he says dreamily. "Who would have thought we'd be in a relationship, let alone living together, if you saw us at the start of the year."

You nod. "It's crazy. I feel like my life's done a complete 180. I've gone from a broke college student, no rizz and slaving her life away, to being in a relationship with a CEO."

He laughs at you, moving his hand to your cheek and swiping it gently. "You had plenty rizz. I've been whipped over you for years."

"Yeah, maybe if you had a smidge of rizz we would have been in a relationship years ago."

He scoffs. "You know, you can be such a little shit sometimes."

"But you love me regardless," you point out, leaning into his hand on your cheek. He smiles at you, his look full of adoration.

"You're right. I love you regardless."

The End

-omg wtf. I cannot believe I’ve finished writing this :(( but don’t worry, cause there’s still the extra wedding chapter to come soon!! I really hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🫶🏻

#bang chan #changbin #felix lee #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #jeongin #hyunjin #lee know #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x you #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smut #hyunjin smutt #begin again ending :(

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samrsgyi · 1 year ago

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Why? [ Kamado Siblings ]

Samrsgyi note: Hope everything's okay with you guys, but just imagine nezuko and tanjiro with a suicidal reader can you imagine 😰

Tanjiro x Nezuko x Suicidal! Reader

( Shinobu is mentioned )

Reader is 13 years old

Warnings ⚠️: Angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of suicide, fluff at the end

Summary: Y/N feels numb from rengoku's death knowing that she now suffers from PTSD and anxiety. The Kamado siblings are worried about them and try to figure out a solution to help them calm down and make it through with some comfort.

( Nezuko can speak in this one but it's not an au!!! )

Enjoy🫀!!!

It was just like any other regular day. You had lost the sparks in your eyes since rengoku's death. You never wanted this to happen, you wanted him to live but I guess that was all a lie. You headed into the butterfly mansion to go into one of the beds and snuggle up with the blanket covering you. Your eyes filled up with water and started pouring out of them. Today you were supposed to help Aoi with folding the sheets but you were too sad to. Tanjiro was outside training for the final selection while Nezuko was just sleeping in the box. Nezuko was sleeping until something interrupted her nap. It was something that sounded like soft cries and short gasps. Nezuko got out of her box and saw you snuggled up in the bed and crawled over to you. She sat on the bed and poked you. You got startled and realized it was only Nezuko.

" Oh hi Nezuko-chan, you okay ?"

" Mhm "

" That's great."

You smiled with tears still rolling down your face and you slightly starting to calm down and keep your composure. Nezuko looked confused and hugged you. You put your hand on her head and held her close so that she wouldn't go.

" Are you ok y/n, you're...crying "

You paused for a moment and remembered seeing rengoku covered in blood. It scared you so bad that you could fully imagine it happening to any of your friends or the rest of hashira. You finally found your voice

" I'm fine it's just y'know allergies got me. "

"...Are you sure? It doesn't look like allergies to me at all."

" I-I-I...I'm just feeling a little numb from rengoku's death."

" Oh..."

Nezuko felt bad for you because usually she had dealt with her brother going through emotional numbing and bad memories but, never you. She leaned in to give you one more hug and you held her tightly making sure to loosen your grip a little bit making sure she doesn't leave. You don't wanna have to lose her as well nor anybody at all. You were gonna make sure it never happened. Soon as then you heard footsteps from inside you looked to see who it was when you were still hugging Nezuko. It was tanjiro. He looked at you and saw you crying and a sad smile went on his face and he rushed to you to give you a hug. He hugged you tight knowing that you needed comfort.

" Y/N are you ok, is something wrong?"

" I um...just sad about rengoku's death."

Tanjiro paused realizing what you had said and almost lost his spark remembering rengoku's death and wanting to cry but, he held it back not wanting to be emotional right in front of you.

" Oh y/n...we're all upset about it. "

" IT'S JUST THAT-"

Y/N burst out in anger and sadness.

" HE COULD'VE LIVED AND WENT ON HAPPY ABOUT HIS LIFE TO SEE HIS FAMILY BUT, NO."

Y/N let out all the sadness and anger they had and realized what they had done. They finally decided to confess to them.

" I've...I've been, um, over-dosing on pills for the past couple of days and wanting to kill myself. "

Tanjiro and Nezuko were in shock and had replayed the words in their head over and over and over. Nezuko hugged you tighter and tanjiro's eyes started to swell up with water and hugged you as well as Nezuko had done. You started to cry.

" Y-Y/N, why didn't you tell me? I was worried something like this would've happened." Said tanjiro

" Y/N, please tell me you won't ever try to do those things to yourself ever, okay I can't lose you, please." Said Nezuko

Your eyes swelled up with even more tears and you cried in agony and pain wishing his death didn't happen. Once you stopped crying, You, Nezuko and Tanjiro had all snuggled up on the bed making sure none of you ever got loose from each others grip. Once then, shinobu came in and saw all of you snuggled on the bed. She took the blanket and covered it on all of you making sure not to wake you guys up. You all snuggled as the sunlight shone through the window.

End

( I almost cried while writing this )

#Tanjiro Kamado x reader #Nezuko Kamado x reader #Kamado Siblings x reader #Tanjiro x Y/N x Nezuko

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astralix · 1 month ago

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Act 010 Humiliation

Pretty Guardian ✶ Sailor Moon

Characters: Original Characters, Canon Characters-mentioned Rating: Teen, Older Teen Genre: Angst, Action, Fantasy/Magical Girl Song: “Horror Show” The Birthday Massacre

Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon. I only own my versions of Zodiac Senshi, Phoenix, Ophiuchus and Andromeda.

✦✶✦

They make fools of us together But we always think of them All their laughing and their talking And their wasting of our time And it always hurts to see them Now that everything is different We don’t like to see their eyes ‘Cause they will never look the same

✦✶✦

“Wasn’t she the one that messed up their dance routine?” She could hear their whispers and their laughter as they snickered. Someone must have recorded her sad performance last week. Her instructor was upset with her, and the audience laughed when she tripped. It was always the same three girls that would gather around to make fun of her. However, her ghost sister, Mika, would always tell her to stand back up and keep dancing. No matter how much tears will fall. No matter how much her feet and ankles hurt.

Dance like there is nothing wrong.

“They will pay eventually, Mai-chan!” Mika would always say. “One day! Keep smiling and dance!”

At least someone was in her corner. Always, even though she was family. Even though she was dead already. Enkai Maiko has always had support from the other side. Her twin sister, Enkai Mika, died from complications surrounding her birth. Mika always guided and guarded Maiko ever since. They were inseparable. Ever since she told Mika she needed to stand up to her own bullies, Mika had taken a step back. She cheered for her from the sidelines, but it was hard. Maiko or “Mai”, has always relied on Mika to beat them up.

“I know, but they always like watching me fall,” Mai said as she clenched the strap of her duffel bag. It was after class. She sighed, as Mika reached out and patted her head. Mai was the only living person she could touch. She continued to float, watching for any sign of Mai’s enemies.

“You should see if they have energy for what’s-his-face,” Mika said. She glanced down at Mai.

“I rather not,” Mai replied as she looked down at the ground.

“They won’t stop,” Mika reminded her sister, concerned.

Mai nodded. “Until Rin has ruined me,” Mai agreed. “Problem is, he wants stronger people’s energy. Rin and her friends don’t have that.”

Mika floated in front of Mai. “How would you know? You never tried.”

“Maybe, I can ask Izumi-chan, Miko-chan, and Kyou-chan what they think!” Mai smiled, referring to her friends Hoshino Izumi, Igarashi Mikoto, or Koyano Kyoumi or rather, Victoria, Bellum, and Mors. As for Mai, she was Fames, or Famine of the team.

“Wait a minute, Mai! You don’t know if they’re on your side anymore!” Mika gasped and hurriedly floated after Mai. “Remember Miko-chan’s failure? You were afraid when he nearly blasted her off the platform. You could not do anything for her. She met each of your eyes.”

Mai’s eyes widened as Mika caught up with her again.

“I … I know,” Mai said, sadly. “He’s pitting us up against each other. Where are Rin and her friends now?”

“Probably on their way home. You can catch them ditching dance class tomorrow,” Mika answered.

“Then, I won’t need their help. I’ll do it on my own,” Mai promised, her bangs covering her eyes.

-Next Day-

“Came to show more of your pathetic skills, Enkai-chan?” asked a trendy brunette. She twirled a strand of her hair as she partially crossed her arms over her chest. The two girls behind her snickered.

Mai could feel another wave of humiliation overcome her. However she clenched her fists and stood her ground. She smirked. “Maybe, but you’re the one who has been ditching most of her classes.” She ran two fingers in front of herself and spun. Water swirled around her as she transformed into a deep blue, almost black armor.

Rin and the girls’ eyes widened.

“She just like… transformed!” one of her lackeys screamed.

“Yeah!” the other of Rin’s lackeys agreed.

They tried to run, but Rin stayed.

“What are you up to, Enkai!” Rin growled, her fists shaking.

Mai mimicked Rin’s pose earlier, one arm over her chest. The other hand rested against her ear. She tilted her head and giggled.

“You humiliated me, Rin. Not anymore,” she smiled, as she dragged the lackeys back with a lasso of water. She summoned another few tendrils of water and shot them at Rin. The water wrapped around Rin’s wrists and ankles. Mai merely chuckled as she siphoned energy from the last of the group. She let go of the girl.

Mai summoned a portal. “See, their energy isn’t as high as those Sailor Senshi, Mika!” She complained as she looked at the ball of energy resting in one of her hands.

“It should still be enough for now, Fames!” Mika called as Mai disappeared in the watery portal.

#bullying mention cw #angstober 2024 #angstober prompt humiliation #angstober #〖maiko enkai〗♓💃 『pisces oceanic aquamarine power make up』#〖story〗♓💃 『writ with squid ink』#〖mika enkai〗♓👻 『piscean phantom』#〖story〗♓👻 『articulating through mai』

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