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the-winter-spider · 10 days ago

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Invisible | Part 18

Bucky x reader AU

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: Fluff???

A/N: I plan to fully wrap up everything so theres still a bit more parts left

Masterpost (links on mobile sucks lately ill add it later)

Sunday

The sun bathed the market in a warm, golden glow, making the world feel softer, almost dreamlike. The usual Sunday bustle of the vendors and the scent of fresh produce filled the air, as comforting as a favorite old song. You and Bucky had been here countless times before, always as part of the group. But today, it was just the two of you, and everything felt different—more intimate, more alive.

Bucky walked close to you, his hand brushing against yours with every step. Each accidental touch sent a little jolt through your chest, and you felt your heart thudding louder than the chatter around you. He hesitated for a moment, then reached out, his fingers sliding between yours. His palm was warm and sure, and the simple act of holding his hand felt monumental.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice low and filled with quiet concern, his eyes scanning your face like he was reading a map.

You met his gaze, your lips curving into a soft smile. “Yeah,” you murmured, squeezing his hand. “It’s just… different. Being here without everyone.”

Bucky’s lips quirked into a crooked smile, his thumb brushing lightly against yours. “Different’s not bad,” he said, his voice teasing but warm. “Besides, it’s nice not having Sam steal all the good fruit.”

You laughed, the sound bubbling out of you before you could stop it. “Okay, true. He always swoops in like a hawk.”

Bucky chuckled, his shoulders relaxing as he gently tugged you closer, weaving you both through the crowd. “Exactly. And Nat’s always dragging us to some random stall to buy things none of us actually need.”

“Like that time she bought Steve a giant ceramic rooster for his kitchen?” you said, grinning.

He grinned back, his laugh full and genuine. “And now it’s proudly on display in his living room because he doesn’t know how to tell her no.”

The shared memory eased the tension in your chest, and by the time you reached the book vendor—the one you always gravitated toward—you felt like you could breathe again. The stacks of worn novels and faded spines greeted you like old friends, their musty scent wrapping around you.

Bucky reached for a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice, flipping it open with exaggerated care. “So, how long before you lecture me about how I’m missing out by not reading this?”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing a tattered edition of The Great Gatsby. “Only if you promise to stop pretending Hemingway is the only author worth reading.”

Bucky gasped dramatically, clutching his chest as if you’d just wounded him. “You wound me, darlin'. Hemingway’s got soul.”

“Hemingway’s got issues,” you countered, raising an eyebrow. “And you know it.”

He leaned closer, his lips quirking up. “Maybe I just like complicated characters. Keeps things interesting.”

His voice was soft, but the look in his eyes made your breath hitch. You stared at him for a moment, feeling like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you, standing there surrounded by forgotten stories and unspoken feelings.

“I’ll let you win this one,” you said finally, your voice a little shakier than you intended.

Bucky smirked, his expression all too knowing. “You’re letting me win? That’s new.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you shot back, grabbing the book from his hands and adding it to the pile you were carrying. “Now, come on. You’re buying me coffee for enduring this.”

As you walked back through the market, your bag of books swinging between you, Bucky leaned in close, his breath brushing against your ear. “I like this,” he murmured, his voice low and intimate. “Just us.”

Your chest tightened, your heart swelling as you tilted your head up to look at him. His blue eyes were so open, so earnest, it made you feel like you could drown in them. “Me too,” you whispered, your voice barely carrying over the noise of the market.

Bucky smiled, that lopsided grin you’d loved for years, and tightened his grip on your hand. The moment felt suspended in time—like a chapter you never wanted to end.

The sun was dipping lower in the sky, casting a warm, golden hue across the city. You and Bucky were walking home from the farmers market, a bag of books swinging between you and a carton of fresh strawberries in his other hand. The day had been easy and light—filled with laughter and teasing—and for the first time in a long while, you felt like you could breathe.

“You know,” Bucky began, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, “I always knew you’d drag me into the book section first.”

You grinned, nudging him with your shoulder. “And yet, you came willingly. Admit it, you love it.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I love you. The books are just a bonus.”

Your cheeks warmed, but you quickly deflected with a playful roll of your eyes. “Flatterer.”

As you reached your apartment building, the playful banter slowed, replaced by a comfortable silence. Inside, the air was still, the faint hum of the fridge filling the background. You set the bag of books down on the counter and turned to find Bucky watching you, an unreadable expression on his face.

“What?” you asked, your voice soft.

He stepped closer, his fingers grazing your hand. “Can we talk?”

You swallowed, suddenly nervous, but you nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“You’re mine right?” Bucky leaned against the counter, his hands gripping the edge.

“Am i?” You spoke softly.

He hesitated, his jaw working as if he were searching for the right words. Finally, he looked at you, his blue eyes steady but vulnerable. “I thought when we said we loved each other, it was kind of… set in stone. You know?”

You blinked, caught off guard, before letting out a small laugh. “Bucky, you’ve known me for how long? You should know I need reassurance or, like, a label or something.”

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips as he straightened, stepping closer until there was barely any space between you. “Okay, then,” he said, his voice low and warm. He reached out, his hand cradling your cheek, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. “Sweetheart, baby, babe—will you do me the greatest honor of my life and be mine? Officially?”

Your heart melted at the sincerity in his voice, the way his eyes searched yours with both hope and fear. You couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face as you nodded. “Yes, Buck. Of course.”

His grin was instant, bright and boyish, and before you could say another word, he scooped you up, spinning you around. You squealed, laughing uncontrollably as he peppered your face with kisses.

“So this is what it’s like to be with the Bucky Barnes,” you teased, breathless as he set you down.

He shook his head, his hands still firmly on your waist. “No,” he said, his voice soft and serious. “This isn’t what it’s like to be with Bucky Barnes. This is what it’s like to be with you. This is what it feels like to love you. And there’s nothing in the world like it.”

The weight of his words hit you square in the chest, and you reached up, cupping his face as you pressed your forehead against his. “You’re gonna make me cry, Buck.”

“Good,” he teased, brushing his nose against yours. “I’ve been crying over you for years.”

You giggled, swatting his chest lightly before pulling him into another kiss, this one slower, deeper, a promise lingering between you.

When you finally broke apart, he grinned again, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hey, you wanna have a sleepover?”

You tilted your head, confused. “Bucky, we live together.”

“No, no,” he said, his grin widening. “I mean a sleepover in my room.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh, I guess I never thought about how this is gonna work. We literally live together.”

“Exactly,” he said, his tone teasing but sincere. “So, what do you say?”

You pretended to consider for a moment before nodding. “I would love to have a sleepover with you.”

He let out a triumphant little cheer, grabbing his keys. “Perfect. I’m gonna grab takeout, and then we’re having a movie marathon. Don’t move.”

You laughed as he kissed you quickly and darted toward the door. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

As the door clicked shut behind him, you let out a deep sigh, sinking onto the couch. Your phone buzzed, and you saw a text from Natasha.

Nat: So… spill.

You: Spill what?

Nat: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you and Bucky are FINALLY together?!

You: Who told you? Did you spy on us?

Nat: ...... I know everything, duh. Now stop deflecting and give me details.

You hesitated for a moment, your thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Then, with a small smile, you replied.

You: It’s… good. Really good. He’s trying so hard, Nat. He’s being so sweet. He’s everything.

Nat: Of course he is. That man’s been in love with you for YEARS.

You: I know, but it’s still scary. What if we mess this up?

Nat: You won’t. Trust me. You’re both too stubborn to let that happen. Now, when are we hanging out? We missed Farmer Market Sundays, and I hate being away from everyone.

You: Friday, at the bar?

Nat: Perfect. I’ll see you then. And don’t worry. You’ve got this babe <3

You smiled, setting your phone down just as the door opened again, Bucky walking in with bags of takeout. His grin was wide, and his eyes sparkled as he held up the food triumphantly.

“Sleepover of the century starts now,” he declared.

And for the first time in years, everything felt truly right.

Wednesday

The café buzzed softly with life—muted chatter, the occasional clink of cups, and the hum of the espresso machine. Wanda sat across from you at a small table near the window, the sunlight catching the caramel streaks in her hair. She handed you your latte with a grin, her eyes twinkling with something knowing.

“You look… happy,” she teased, drawing out the word as she leaned forward on her elbows.

You ducked your head, the warmth in your cheeks impossible to hide. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

She tilted her head, her expression softening. “I’m really happy for you, you know. You and Bucky… it just makes sense.”

You smiled into your cup, taking a sip to mask the emotions her words stirred. “Thanks, Wanda. It’s just… weird, I guess. We’ve been friends for so long, and now it’s different.”

Wanda reached out, her hand warm over yours. “Different doesn’t mean bad. It means growth. And knowing you two, it’ll be beautiful.”

You nodded, her words comforting yet thought-provoking. “It’s just… scary, you know? What if we mess it up? What if this ruins everything?”

Wanda’s grip on your hand tightened slightly as she said your name "You’ve been dancing around each other for years. Do you really think you’re going to mess this up? You two have already been through the worst of it, and you’re still here. That’s not nothing.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. “I guess you’re right.”

“I am,” she said with a playful grin. Then her expression shifted, a hint of something more serious flickering in her eyes. “But can I ask you something?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Of course.”

“Did you really not know about Natasha’s feelings towards Steve?” she asked, her voice quieter now.

Your stomach dropped slightly at the question. “No i didn’t, I feel like a horrible friend, a horrible person how could I have missed it? You knew?”

Wanda nodded, her gaze steady. “Yeah.”

“How long?”

She hesitated, fidgeting with the sleeve of her cup. “A while. Honestly, I don’t even know if I would have figured it out if she hadn’t told me. She’s always been good at hiding stuff like that.. She’s been holding onto it for a while now. Longer than anyone realises.”

The weight of her words settled over you, heavy and unspoken. “What am I supposed to do with that, Wanda?” you asked quietly. “I don’t want her to feel like she’s second best, like she doesn’t matter. She’s my best friend.”

Wanda’s gaze softened, her voice gentle but firm. “There’s nothing you can do. Just like no one could force you and Bucky together. It has to be something Natasha sorts out for herself. And Steve… he’ll move on, eventually. He’s stronger than people give him credit for.”

You let out a breath, your chest feeling tight. “I just hate that all of this is so messy. It feels like everything’s at risk.”

Wanda said your name, leaning forward and fixing you with her warm but steady gaze. “We’re too close, all of us, to let this ruin anything. We’ve been through worse. It might take time, but we’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Her words were like a balm, soothing the ache in your chest. You reached out and squeezed her hand in thanks. “What would I do without you?”

Wanda grinned. “Probably spiral into chaos. Now, are you gonna finish that latte or let it go cold?”

You laughed softly, lifting the cup to your lips. “Point taken.”

The apartment smelled divine, the air rich with the aroma of garlic and fresh herbs as you stepped inside. The sight of Bucky in the kitchen made your heart skip a beat. He stood there in a fitted black t-shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal his strong forearms, wearing an apron you’d bought as a joke that said Kiss the Cook. He was stirring something in a pan, his brow furrowed in concentration.

He was humming softly to himself, stirring something in a pan, completely immersed in what he was doing.

“Wow,” you said, leaning against the doorway with a teasing smile. “What’s the occasion, Chef Barnes?”

Bucky turned, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “You, doll,” he said easily, leaning one hip against the counter. “Figured I’d whip up something special for my girl.”

His words made your cheeks flush, and you stepped closer. “You’re really setting the bar high here. You sure you’re not trying to win boyfriend of the year?”

“Trying?” he asked, his grin widening. “Sweetheart, I’m already the reigning champ.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips. “What’s on the menu, then?”

“Pasta,” he said, nodding toward the stove. “Made the sauce from scratch. None of that jarred stuff for you.”

Your heart swelled at the thoughtfulness of it all. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, you know.”

Bucky shrugged, turning back to the stove. “You’re worth it.”

The simplicity of his statement, the sincerity in his voice, had your chest tightening. You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind and resting your cheek against his back. “Thank you,” you murmured.

He stilled for a moment, then set the spoon down and turned in your arms to face you. His hands found your waist, his thumbs brushing your sides. “Always,” he said softly, his blue eyes locking onto yours.

You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips gave you away. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it,” he teased, flashing you that charming, boyish grin as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple. He turned off the stove, plating the pasta with a chef-like flourish, and set the dishes on the table. Pulling out a chair for you, he gestured grandly. “M’lady.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you sat. “Chivalry isn’t dead, huh?”

“Not when it comes to you,” he quipped, settling into the chair across from you.

For a moment, you just watched him, the warm glow of the kitchen light casting a golden halo around him. Your chest tightened with a sudden swell of emotion, a happiness so profound it was almost startling. “I haven’t felt like this in years,” you murmured, your voice soft and vulnerable. “This happy.”

Bucky’s smile softened, his blue eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart flutter. “You deserve the world, doll,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “There’s nothing else like this. Nothing else like you.”

The weight of his words settled over you, a warmth spreading through your chest that made your breath hitch. You reached across the table, your fingers finding his. “How do you do that?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Just… say the exact right thing?”

His grin was lopsided and endearing. “I’ve had years to practice,” he said, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand.

Dinner passed in a blur of laughter and lighthearted teasing, the conversation flowing as easily as it always had between you two—but now, there was an added layer of something deeper. Something that had been there all along but was finally allowed to flourish. Every glance he gave you, every fleeting touch, felt like a promise, unspoken but deeply felt.

When the plates were cleared, Bucky leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he studied you with a soft, thoughtful expression. “You know,” he said, his voice low and intimate, “this is my favorite version of us.”

You tilted your head, curiosity sparking in your eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Right here,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “You, me, no walls, no pretending we’re just friends… It feels like this is how it was always supposed to be.”

Your cheeks warmed at his words, and you ducked your head slightly, smiling. “It does, doesn’t it?”

Bucky reached across the table, his hand cupping your chin gently, tilting your face back up to meet his gaze. His eyes searched yours, his voice soft but resolute. “I don’t know how I got lucky enough to have you, but I’m not gonna waste it.”

The sincerity in his voice sent a shiver down your spine. “You’re not the only lucky one, Buck,” you said, leaning into his touch. “We both are.”

After dinner, you moved to the couch, settling beside each other with your legs tangled. Bucky reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’ve got sauce right… here,” he said, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth.

“Smooth,” you teased, laughing softly.

“What can I say? I’m a gentleman.” His grin was playful, but the way his eyes lingered on yours sent a shiver down your spine. His lips quirked into a small smile, and he leaned forward, brushing a kiss across your knuckles. “Let me show you just how lucky I feel.”

Before you knew it, he was leaning in, and you met him halfway. The kiss started slow, his lips warm and soft against yours. But as the moments stretched, it deepened, his hand cupping the back of your head while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer.

Your fingers found the hem of his shirt, your heart racing as you slipped your hands beneath the fabric, feeling the heat of his skin. He groaned softly against your lips, his body tensing under your touch.

But then, just as things started to heat up, he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. His breaths were uneven, his hands gentle as they steadied you.

“Wait,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

You blinked, your mind still foggy from the kiss. “What’s wrong?” you asked, searching his eyes.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he assured you, his thumb brushing your cheek. “I just… I want to do this right. With you. I don’t want to rush into anything, even though…” He trailed off, his gaze dropping to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “Even though I want this so bad. I want you so bad.”

His words made your chest ache in the best way. You reached up, cradling his face in your hands. “Okay,” you whispered. “We’ll take our time.”

He smiled, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “You’re something else, you know that?”

You bit your lip, hesitating before asking, “Bucky… earlier, you said you haven’t been with anyone since that night in college. Is that true?”

His brows furrowed slightly, but he nodded. “Yeah, doll. It’s true. I wouldn’t lie to you. I may have been a jackass, but I’ve never lied to you.”

The vulnerability in his voice, the honesty in his gaze, made your stomach flip. “Me neither,” you admitted quietly.

Bucky blinked, his head tilting slightly. “Wait, what?”

“I haven’t been with anyone either,” you said, your cheeks burning. “Since that night. Dean was the first guy I kissed since then.”

His lips parted in surprise, his voice low as he repeated, “You kissed Dean?”

“Yeah,” you said, fiddling with a loose thread on the couch cushion. “But that’s it. Just a kiss.”

Bucky stared at you for a moment, then a slow, crooked smile spread across his face. “You know what that means, right?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

He leaned in, his voice low and full of promise. “It means I’m gonna be the last guy you ever kiss.”

Your breath hitched, your heart pounding as his words sank in. “I hope so,” you whispered.

Bucky didn’t hesitate. He kissed you again, slow and deliberate, as if to seal the promise between you. His hands cradled your face, his lips moving against yours in a way that felt like forever and not long enough all at once.

Thursday

You sat at your desk, staring at your laptop screen, trying to focus on the manuscript in front of you. The office buzzed faintly with the hum of phones ringing and distant chatter, but it all faded into white noise when your phone vibrated. You glanced at it, seeing Sam’s name pop up with a new text.

Sam: Hey, Barnes tell you yet?

You frowned, your fingers hovering over the keyboard.

You: Tell me what?

Sam: That I’m gonna kick his ass at darts tomorrow night.

You giggled, rolling your eyes.

You: LOL. You wish.

Sam: Nah, I’m serious. The man’s been smug all week. Like he’s got some big secret or something.

Your stomach did a little flip as you typed your response.

You: …

Sam: Wait a minute. Oh my God. Is the big secret YOU?!

You: … Maybe.

Sam: FINALLY!!!!!!

Before you could even think of a response, your phone buzzed with an incoming call. You smiled, answering it with a dry, “Didn’t realize this was so urgent.”

Sam’s voice came through, teasing but warm. “Oh, it’s urgent, alright. I’ve been waiting for this since… I don’t know, forever?”

You laughed softly, leaning back in your chair. “I didn’t realize you were such a romantic.”

“I’m not,” Sam shot back, his voice laced with amusement. “I’m just tired of watching you and Barnes do this ridiculous will-they-won’t-they dance. Turns out, y’all finally figured it out.”

“Yeah, well…” You trailed off, biting your lip. “It’s… new, of course”

“New, huh?” Sam drawled. “New enough for him to be walking around like he’s king of the world, apparently. You should’ve seen him yesterday—man was smiling so much I thought his face was gonna break.”

The image made you laugh, your heart warming. “That’s… good to hear.”

Sam paused, his tone shifting slightly. “You’re happy though, right? I mean, you’ve been waiting for this.”

You hesitated for a moment before answering, “Yeah, I am. It feels… right. Scary, but right.”

Sam hummed in acknowledgment. “Good. That’s what matters.” There was a beat of silence before he added, “Hey, uh, so I talked to Steve.”

Your stomach tightened at the mention of his name. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s… Steve,” Sam said carefully. “You know how he is. Quiet, keeps everything close to the vest. But I know Friday night hit him hard.”

You sighed, guilt twisting in your chest. “I haven’t really talked to him since. I don’t even know what to say.”

“He’s just gonna need some time,” Sam said gently. “But listen to me—don’t write him off as a friend. Steve’s a good guy. He’ll come around.”

The idea of losing Steve made your throat tighten. “It hurts that you’d think I would. Sam, I—I feel like a horrible friend. How could I have not noticed before?”

Sam’s voice softened, laced with understanding. “Because you were blinded by your feelings for Bucky. Doesn’t make you a bad friend, just human.”

You closed your eyes, swallowing hard. “I hate that I hurt him.”

“I know,” Sam said. “But you can’t carry all the blame. Steve’s strong, and he’ll get through this. He just… he needs to process it on his own.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Do you really think everything’s gonna be okay?”

Sam’s voice was confident, reassuring. “Yeah. You’ve got Bucky now, Steve’s got all of us, and we’ve been through worse. We’re too stubborn to let this group fall apart.”

That made you smile. “You’re annoyingly wise sometimes, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam replied smugly. “Now, I’ll see you tomorrow. First one who hangs up doesn’t have to buy the first round.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “That’s not fair—”

Click.

You stared at the phone, your smile lingering as you set it down. Somehow, Sam always knew how to make things feel just a little bit lighter.

The living room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the TV casting shadows across the walls. You and Bucky were sprawled on the couch, your legs tangled together as some classic action movie played in the background. It was one of those easy, quiet nights where the world outside seemed to fade away.

Bucky’s arm was draped casually over your shoulder, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on your arm. Every now and then, you caught him glancing at you instead of the screen, his lips quirking into that small, soft smile you’d grown to love.

You shifted slightly, resting your head against his chest. “Hey,” you started softly, your voice cutting through the quiet. “Have you, um… seen or talked to Steve since… you know, last Friday?”

Bucky’s fingers paused for a moment before resuming their gentle motion. He let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah,” he said after a beat. “I saw him Wednesday when you were out with Wanda. He was on his way out, so it was real brief.”

“And?” you asked, tilting your head to look up at him.

He shrugged, his gaze still fixed on the TV. “He was fine. I mean, as fine as Steve gets, you know? He nodded at me, said hey, and that was about it.”

Your chest tightened, and you sank back against him, chewing on your bottom lip. “I’m nervous about tomorrow,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m excited to see everyone, but… I don’t want things to be weird.”

Bucky finally looked down at you, his brow furrowed. “Things are gonna be weird, doll,” he said, his voice steady but kind. “At least for a little while. But they’ll get better. It’s us, right? We always figure it out.”

You sighed, closing your eyes briefly. “I’ve just… never been in a situation like this before. I don’t know how to handle it. What if Steve doesn’t—what if things aren’t the same anymore?”

Bucky shifted, sitting up slightly so he could face you more fully. He cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. “Steve’s not like that. You know him. He’s always been the solid one, the one who keeps us all together. If anyone can handle this, it’s him.”

You nodded, his words offering some comfort. “I hope you’re right.”

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, interrupting the moment. You reached for it, noticing two new messages. One from Sam and the other from Steve. Your stomach fluttered nervously as you opened Sam’s text first.

Sam: I talked to Steve. You have nothing to worry about. He’ll always love you as a friend before anything else. Told him about you and Buck. Hope thats okay?

You exhaled slowly, relief flooding through you as you typed back a quick response.

You: Its okay...Thanks, Sam. I needed that.

Sam: I know you like the back of my hand girl

You snorted, Bucky glanced over, noticing the way your face relaxed. “What’s that?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity.

“Sam,” you replied. “He said he talked to Steve. Apparently, I have nothing to worry about.”

Bucky nodded, his lips quirking into a small smirk. “Told you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but before you could respond, your attention shifted to Steve’s message. You opened it, your fingers trembling slightly.

Steve: Hey. Just wanted to check in. Are we okay?

Your heart ached at the simplicity of his question, the weight of everything unsaid behind it. You quickly typed a response.

You: To me? Always, Stevie. You?

His reply came almost instantly.

Steve: Always. Excited to see everyone tomorrow.

You: Me too. You sure?

There was a pause before his response came through.

Steve: I’m sure :)

You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. Then, you added:

You: Thanks, Steve. For always being there. I hope you know I’m always here for you too…

His response was simple but sincere.

Steve: I know. And Always.

You stared at the screen for a long moment, the words settling in your chest like a comforting weight. Bucky shifted beside you, his hand slipping to your waist as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“You okay?” he murmured, his voice warm and steady.

You nodded, leaning into him. “Yeah,” you whispered. “Just… thinking about tomorrow. How everything’s going to change.”

Bucky tightened his hold on you, his voice firm but gentle. “Not everything, doll. Some things don’t change.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling at the sincerity in his eyes. “Promise?”

His lips quirked into a soft smile. “Promise.”

As the movie played on in the background, you allowed yourself to sink into the comfort of the moment.

Friday

The morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting soft stripes of gold across the room as you finished adjusting your blouse in the mirror. The weight of anticipation pressed lightly on your chest. Tonight would be your first time facing everyone as a couple—or whatever you and Bucky were now.

Leaning against the doorframe, Bucky sipped his coffee, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, his hair sticking up from where he’d slept. He looked effortlessly handsome, the kind of sight you’d never get tired of. His easy smile, however, didn’t quite mask the tension in his eyes.

“Ready for tonight?” he asked, breaking the silence. His tone was casual, but there was a cautiousness to the way he looked at you.

You glanced at him in the mirror, smoothing your blouse once more. “I think so. Are you?”

He shrugged, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “As ready as I’ll ever be. They’re gonna give us so much shit.”

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “We deserve it.”

He stepped closer, his coffee forgotten on the dresser. His hands found your waist, turning you gently to face him. His touch was steady, grounding. He leaned down, brushing a kiss against your temple. “They’ll love us,” he murmured, his voice low and warm. “They already do.”

For a moment, you stared up at him, your heart swelling. His confidence in this—in you, in both of you—was overwhelming in the best way. “You really think so?” you asked softly.

He nodded, his blue eyes locking onto yours. “Babe, they’ve been rooting for us longer than we’ve even known we were a ‘we.’ Trust me.”

You smiled, leaning into him, but your chest still felt tight. You couldn’t help but think of how tonight could be the start of something wonderful—or another complication in your already messy lives.

“Stop overthinking,” Bucky said, reading you like an open book. His hand came up, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’ve got that look.”

“What look?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“That ‘I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders’ look,” he teased, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Relax, sweetheart. It’s us.”

“It’s us,” you echoed, the words sinking in. “Okay, fine. You win.”

He grinned. “I always do.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Cocky much?”

His grin turned devilish as his hands slid down to your hips, pulling you closer. “What can I say? You bring it out of me.”

Your heart skipped a beat as his lips met yours, soft and slow at first, like he was savoring the moment. But the kiss deepened quickly, his hands tightening around you as if he couldn’t stand the distance. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing against him as your breaths mingled.

He pulled back just enough to murmur against your lips, his voice rough with want. “I just can’t keep my hands off you.”

You laughed softly, your forehead resting against his. “Remember, you’re the one who wanted to move slow.”

He chuckled, the sound low and addictive. “Don’t remind me. It’s torture.”

You leaned up, pressing another quick kiss to his lips before stepping back, smoothing your blouse again. “Good thing you’ve got that Bucky Barnes patience, huh?”

“Barely,” he admitted, his eyes still locked on you like he couldn’t believe you were real.

As you grabbed your bag, he reached out, brushing his fingers against yours. “I’ll see you at work?”

“Of course,” you replied, turning back to give him a smile. “We’re walking to the bar together after, right?”

Bucky nodded, his expression softening into something achingly tender. “I’m never leaving your side again, so yes. Always.”

Your chest tightened, his words resonating deeper than you expected. With one last smile, you stepped out the door, the warmth of his presence lingering with you all the way to work.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky barnes au #james barnes x you #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes

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alpaca-clouds · 4 months ago

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Electric Cars Suck

There is some irony in how things turned out, right? Like eight years ago or so it was mostly the left who was like: "We need more electro mobility!" And the people on the right were like: "Noooo! We need our gas guzzlers that go VROOOOOM!" And somehow now the people on the right buy their stupid cybertrucks, while the people on the left have in large numbers converted to: "Actually, all cars fucking suck."

And hey, that's me. I am in that story. Because actually, all cars fucking suck!

But let's be a bit more serious: The main issue with cars is not even the CO2, the fine particles, or the microplastics they generate. (Yes, most microplastics in the environment originate with cars!) The main issue is, that we live in a car-centric society, that is so very much inaccessible for anyone who does not have a car.

And let's be honest here: In this regard I am complaining as someone with a lot of things going for me: I live in Germany and I live in a city here. We have actually somewhat working public transport, and even my physically disabled ass is capable of reaching the next super market, pharmacy, doctor's office and library within 5 minutes on foot. Sure, due to a lack of bus drivers (which again is due to a lack of proper payment for said bus drivers) they cut some of the bus lines here, making the time I need to get to the next hospital go up by a good chunk, but... What I am saying is: Hey, I am at least not living in the USA, where it is basically impossible to get around in a lot of places when you have no car, because the infrastructure is just so bloody car-centric.

And that is the reason why cars just suck so darn much. Because they need all that infrastructure that makes it harder for everyone to get around.

And the double issue with that is, that some people will still need cars no matter what, even if we try to improve that. I spoke about it before: Some disabled people will always need cars to get around, because they just do not have an alternative due to a variety of reasons. And some services (like ambulances, fire fighters and so on) will also just need cars. Which taken together means that we need to maintain some infrastructure.

Generally speaking I feel, a lot of folks within the Solarpunk scene do underestimate this issue, too. Especially in concern to the USA, Canada and some other colonizer cities in the global south, that have been created very much with cars in mind.

In Europe, most cities have been created with horse drawn carriages in mind and people who walk on foot. Sure, they have been retrofitted to allow for cars, but that retrofitting can easily be toned down in a way that would allow those cars that are needed to pass through, but allow the areas to be used otherwise. (I mean, we have several cities here were you can still see that the city originally has been build by Romans some 2000 years ago, because the city map features certain Roman city planning styles.) It is not really so hard to turn those cities into 15-minute-cities again.

But in the US? In the US a lot of the cities have always been constructed with the car in mind, and the entire street plan is organized around the car. Lots of wide streets. Lots of parking lots. Lots of other facilities that are needed for cars. Sure, you can reuse some of the space. But that does not negate the fact that everything has this wide sprawl that makes it a lot harder to get around. And that really is a problem if someone tried to make 15-minute-cities here. Because frankly... In some areas there just would not be another way but to just tear it all down to rethink city planning once more.

Like, sure, in the city cores it is not that much of an issue. Turning Manhatten into a 15-minute-city is not the issue. But the wider area of New York city? Eh... And in other cities it is worse, of course.

And yeah, those issues - the stupid infrastructure cars need... It is still the same, no matter whether the car goes VROOOOOOM or BZZZT.

#solarpunk #lunarpunk #car centric infrastructure #anti cars #electric cars #electric vehicles #15 minute city #pedastrian cities #europe #usa #city planning

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maned-dog · 5 months ago

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Bored & hospitalized rn and ive been thinking a ton abt how underrated the entirety of gen 8 was

First off, the marketing and reveals were AMAZING. The nature cam for ponyta? I adored that. The scrambled up glitchy sirfetched was HYPE, and impidimp constantly teasing us in demos and small appearances without ever getting an official pre-release reveal was so fitting.

The designs in general of every single pokemon are so GOOD. Not only the original mons but also all the regionals were so charming and well spread out and arguably way better than alolan forms. Some of my favorite designs that never get talked about are Mr. Rime, galarian slowbro, and galarian darmanitan. Every new form and evo went into pokemon that ACTUALLY needed extra love and yet the community never talks abt em!!

Another thing i ADORE is all the small tiny features which imo should've stayed permanently! As much as i love the mobile PCs, the rotom PC with pokejobs and the loto feature was real cute and neat, the trainer cards and the amount of customization they had were SO GOOD and SO UNDERRATED!! The student cards or whatever in SV arent nearly as charming.

Also the region itself!! While yes it is LINEAR its still so gorgeous (aside feom the wild area) and, personally, id argue the DLCs did a way better job at an open world than SV did. The maps were pretty and every area was unique and had a use in the story unlike SV and its DLCs where half the map goes unused in the story or theres a ton of filler fields.

Anyway idc what anyone says alongside gen 3, gen 8 is my favorite to replay and go through. The dex is so diverse despite the natdex cut and while SV has better characters and story i still prefer SWSH and sll its unique charm

#puppy speak #long ahh rant #pokemon #pokemon galar #pokemon swsh

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silkflovvers-art · 3 months ago

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Hi! I hope you’re doing well. May I ask how you would describe Arknights’ game and story?

Hi hi! I'll do my best but I've unfortunately got Covid (again ;;) so my brain is made of under-cooked scrambled eggs. This is also my art blog, so I don't normally answer these kinds of asks here, but honestly.. I haven't posted here in forever so it's probably fiiiiiine. Probably.

I want to preface by saying I'm incredibly behind on the main story, so I'm not the best person to ask for a summary about it. I can however offer a pretty good explanation that keeps heavy spoilers out of it because I'm so behind, though!

Throwing all of the explanation under a read more-

Arknights Gameplay:

Long time players, ignore how insane so many of my stats and all that are, I haven't had the braincells to play due to covid and traveling almost an entire month prior to getting it. This year has been.. really bad.

Arknights, at its core, is a mobile game that focuses on strategy and tower defense. You strategically place characters (referred to as Operators) down on a top-down, tile style map, keeping their unique classes, skills and talents in mind to protect your base or whatever counts as your "tower" for the specific stage/storyline.

You gain new Operators through a gacha/lottery system called Headhunting, or through a tag system called Recruitment.

Headhunting offers you a chance at the Rate Up high rarity Operators as well as a pool of lower rarity characters. The pool varies by banner. Older Operators have actually been moved to a separate Headhunting system called Kernel Headhunting to give newer players a better chance at obtaining the older Operators from a smaller pool of options. It also occasionally gives players the option to choose which Operators are on Rate Up. Recruitment allows players to narrow down what Operators they can get by selecting up to three tags that are randomly generated for each recruitment. Increasing the Recruitment time helps increase the likelihood of an Operator with the chosen tags being Recruited, but not always. The pool of possible operators a player can receive through recruitment is much smaller than that of the regular or Kernel Headhunting.

You can also get characters for free through events, main story chapters and from purchasing them from the shop using currency you naturally build up by completing daily missions and stages.

I actually consider Arknights to be one of the most F2P friendly live service gacha games I have ever encountered (This is coming from someone with luck so bad their life has been described as an unfortunate Looney Tunes skit by multiple completely unrelated people). In-game currency is also easy to obtain even if you don't have the high rarity "meta" Operators. This is not a game that requires the high rarity characters to play and enjoy. If it was, I wouldn't still be playing after 4 years. I've had to purchase almost all the "meta" characters from the shop just to have the chance at even getting them because they refuse to come home through the gacha system....

The Operator classes include: - Vanguard - Guard - Specialist - Defender - Sniper - Caster - Supporter - Medic

Most of these are pretty self explanatory, but the Arknights Terra Wiki explains them all in really organized simple terms and has clear descriptions of the subclasses!

Unlike another popular gacha game currently out there on the market, Arknights does not forever lock limited events behind their original run duration. Every limited event gets a rerun (roughly taking place between 1-2 years after it's original runtime) and then is later archived and made available forever, whether the player completed it or not. It is also possible to collect materials from stages from the late stages of the main story even if you haven't unlocked them yet thanks to events rewards and shops. Because of this, it's incredibly friendly to new and old players alike.

Over the years it has expanded its game modes and content to include rogue-likes, multi-player modes, and most recently a game mode that requires base construction, exploration, and high level resource gathering and management. Each new limited event and game mode introduces new game mechanics and gimmicks that keep the game play refreshing and challenging.

The other game modes require you to get through the tutorial of the game, which is pretty long and dialogue heavy, but the story is worth it in my opinion and I don't think it should be skipped. I'll pass on explaining those for now since they're relatively easy to look up, but if you're interested in learning more about them, look up: Contingency Contract, Integrated Strategies, Stationary Security Service, Trials for Navigator, or Reclamation Algorithm. The Arknights Terra Wiki is also a good resource for explanations on these game modes.

There's also a base you can build within the main game mode to help passively collect currency and character building materials. It's one of the few ways you're able to interact with other players in the early game. You can decorate the dormitories with different furniture sets, which is pretty cute.

Also the UI is beautiful and I love it and it's easy to understand as long as you DO NOT skip tutorials. Don't do that. For the love of god, you need to pay attention to the tutorials for this game.

Arknights Story:

I'm gonna be so real, I think I used up all my brain power on the game play explanation, so this may sound lackluster ><

Basically:

You play as an amnesiac scientist known as Doctor. The story begins with a rescue operation to retrieve your comatose body from a medical containment unit called a Sarcophagus. It has kept your body stable as well as healed you after an event unknown to you left you gravely injured. The rescue team consisting of Operators once under your command as well as a little Cautus (rabbit) girl named Amiya, pulls you out of the Sarcophagus in the middle of a civil war in the town of Chernobog in the country known as Ursus (you can think of it as an alternative universe USSR populated by a race of bear people also called Ursus).

Amiya quickly fills you in that you are the head researcher of a pharmaceutical company called Rhodes Island that researches and treats an illness known as Oripathy. Oripathy is caused by exposure to a mysterious mineral known as Originium. This mineral is used to fuel most of the machines and magic that exists in this world.

In order to continue research on this terrible and little understand, yet wide spread disease, the Doctor must face rebels, high ranking officials, corrupt governments, ancient beings, gods, and aquatic hiveminds.

The story is much more complex than that, but saying much more spoils quite a bit, so I hate to say much more. I just know that if world building is something you're really interested in and seeing real world connections and inspirations in a story, Arknights is a rich well of that. Many of the characters are based on real life people, events, and mythology/folklore. There are complex governments systems, well thought out civilizations, and unexpected connections between characters and story lines. Despite it's large cast of playable characters, Arknights tries to give each one a meaningful connection to the story, even if it takes years to get to them. The NPCs are memorable and lovable and often become playable if they have an important place in the story or are well received by fans.

There are a lot of really good story summary videos on youtube, but of course now that I'm looking for them, I'm struggling to find them.

All the characters also have profiles with extra info and cutscenes that tie into the main story, side story, or just give insight to how they tie into the world of Arknights.

My only complaint I have with the story is that certain cultures that are often victim of misrepresentation in games do unfortunately suffer a similar fate in Arknights. Arknights has a large cast, and there IS better representation in the character line up than in other games I will not name, but they aren't perfect and can't really be overlooked when compared to the existing characters that do represent their cultural inspirations well. Sargon is the region impacted the most and despite many of my favorite characters originating from this region due to their story and personalities, it's good to take the designs and story with a grain of salt.

Conclusion:

Arknights isn't a game for everyone, even though I do believe the recent additions allow it to be given enough time and effort.

If you're interested in the story and characters but don't want to bother with playing the game, the Arknights Terra Wiki, the Arknights Story Reader (and it's connected github site), Cutscene recordings from the main story and events on Youtube shared by fans, and the Arknights Anime all offer a lot of great info on the story, lore, and characters. I don't think this is a game you actually HAVE to play to properly enjoy the story if you don't want to. There's just A LOT of stuff going on, so it's a lot to keep up with.

Hope all of that made sense, somehow.

#silkflovversask #Arknights

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caelwynn · 5 months ago

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Caelwynn's Mod List for Stardew 1.6.9+ - Gameplay/Quality of Life (pg 3)

Last Updated: 11/26/24

Page 1. Page 2. Page 3.

Useable Community Center — allows you to make use of the appliances at the community center after its completion.

Activate Sprinklers — lets you activate sprinklers by right-clicking them.

Adjust Baby Chances — allows you to adjust the percentage chance your spouse(s) will ask for a baby.

Better Quarry Redux — improves the spawn rate of geodes, ore, and gems in the quarry.

Better Winter Star Gifts — reduces the number of 'dud' gifts at the Feast.

Farmers Market — turns the grange displays at the Stardew Valley Fair into a little farmers market.

Happy Home Designer — overhauls the catalogs and integrates Alternative Texture packs.

Heart Event Helper — shows how dialogue options impact friendship.

It's My Farm I'll Pass Out If I Want To — if you pass out on your farm, you no longer get hauled off to Harvey's. Allows you to configure consequences for passing out at home.

Last Day to Plant — puts up a little message on the last day you can plant something and still be able to harvest it.

Marnie's Auto-Petters — allows you to purchase auto-petters from Marnie.

Mobile Phone Continued — adds in a mobile phone that allows you to call NPCs/allow them to call you. Also lets you re-watch previous heart events.

Mobile Arcade Continued — adds the arcade games Prairie King and Junimo Kart to your phone.

Mobile Phone Themes — adds different background and one skin for your phone.

Mobile Television Continued — allows you to watch today's tv from your phone.

Precise Furniture — lets you adjust furniture pixel by pixel.

Reset Terrain Features — useful for if you add in a new map mid-save.

Smart Building — a more sims-style UI for placing fences, floors, furnaces, etc.

Stack Everything Redux — allows you to stack things that aren't normally stackable, such as furniture, tackles, and wallpaper.

The Return of Immersive Scarecrows — allows you to place scarecrows in and amongst your crops without taking up a tile.

The Return of Immersive Sprinklers — same as above, just with sprinklers.

Tree Spread — prevents trees from spreading on your farm.

World Maps Everywhere — allows you to access all of the world maps from the map window instead of just the current area.

CJB Item Spawner — allows you to spawn any item in the game. Useful for cheating for respawning an item that bugged.

Event Music Volume — allows you to set different volume levels for the music between heart events and regular gameplay. Never again miss out on hearing a concert cutscene because you had turned the music down for your own soundtrack.

Log Menu — Allows you to bring up a log of the last 50 lines of dialogue, useful for when you accidentally click through.

Public Access TV — Adds several channels to the television with useful info provided by local NPCs about conditions around the valley that day.

Jump Over — Allows you to jump over things, like fences.

Yet Another (Balanced) Quality Goods Mod — Artisan goods from machines keep the quality of the input item, but profit is reduced (configurable) to balance out the increase in profit. Comes with optional large versions of cheese, goat cheese, and mayonnaise.

Zoom Level — Adds new keybindings to adjust the zoom level past the game limits. Useful for snapping screenshots.

No Clip Mode — Unsure how this wasn't on the list previously. Allows you to walk through anything, including map boundaries. Very useful when you have a ton of mods and have the occasional conflict.

The Masterpost for all of the mods is located here.

#caelwynn's mod list #stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley mods #stardew mods #sdv mods #modded stardew valley #stardew 1.6 #stardew QoL mods #updating my mod list #please excuse the spam

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fatehbaz · 9 months ago

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Julius Scott’s legendary study tells [...] of the unrest of “masterless” communities, as he terms them, in the late eighteenth-century Caribbean and its implications for the Atlantic World. This unrest was undergirded by what he terms a “common wind” of seditious political news circulating through an increasingly mobile and interconnected region. He deftly sets the context [...] to imperial tensions that culminated in uprisings and revolutions within [...] the French, British, and Spanish Empires. [...] He builds what is this field-defining work from a triangulated analysis of three central hubs of the colonial Caribbean in terms of [...] prosperity in the plantation economy, and political importance to these aforementioned empires: Saint-Domingue [Haiti], Jamaica, and Cuba. But he also explores similar occurrences within [...] Martinique and Guadeloupe for the French, Venezuela and Trinidad for the Spanish, and Dominica and Grenada for the British. He also includes [...] the engagement of the newly formed United States in this network, reinforcing the broader Atlantic impact of the common wind’s radical currents.

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Chapter 1 explores the upheaval afoot in the mid-1700s colonial Caribbean through a closer look at the movements of a range of actors including enslaved runaways, military deserters, contraband smugglers, free people of color, and poor whites hustling in the islands’ urban centers and surrounding countrysides.

A variety of settings - including the fringes of plantations, maroon settlements, town-based markets, taverns, hospitals, barracks, and wharves - might presumably, if read with the archival grain, illuminate the map of state control. Instead, in Scott’s analysis, these represent the contours of the working class’s unlawful movements and ultimately their fraying of the colonial order, anticipating what Stephanie M. H. Camp [...] would aptly name [...] the “rival geography” of slave society.

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Chapter 2 shows how sailors’ illicit forms of mobility [...] blurred the bounds between land and sea in this narrative of popular dissent. Their movements [...] as social beings and political dissidents bled into and helped sustain similar kinds of illicit commerce and socializing [...]. Chapters 3 and 4 demonstrate how the common wind consistently blew subversive ideas into and around the Caribbean, much to officials’ chagrin. Scott here homes in on the politically volatile era from the late 1770s through the late 1790s, which saw declarations of war, drastic changes in slavery policy [...] and the emergence of U.S., French, and, most significantly, Haitian revolutionary uprising. [...] [E]nslaved communities everywhere in the region followed as intently as they could as the campaign of the enslaved rebels in Saint-Domingue began in 1791. [...] Political news, no matter how hard officials in the colonies and the metropoles tried to block it, spilled into all levels of society [...]. What flowed through all of these channels animated questions about master-slave relations, mercantilist policy, individual rights [...]. Scott carefully traces the influence of the unfolding Haitian Revolution on well-planned but eventually thwarted uprisings of enslaved people in the Venezuelan port city Coro, the Dutch colony of Curaçao, and the parish of Pointe Coupee in then Spanish Louisiana, all in 1795. He also illuminates the multiple instances of inspiration in the 1790s evidenced in enslaved communities throughout the United States [...].

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Essentially Scott reveals that the Age of Revolutions cannot be understood without comprehending black resistance in times of war and peace. The tale of Phebe, one of many enslaved Jamaican female runaways who became an itinerant higgler hiding in plain sight in urban spaces like Kingston, or the story of the 1790 mutiny of four enslaved sailors who overtook the Saint Kitts sloop the Nancy with respective origins in the Caribbean, West Africa, and the U.S. South, which Scott called a “microcosm” of the Atlantic, are but two of multiple narratives he includes to show that enslaved people [...] actively built and sustained those circuits via their multilingualism, their savvy, and above all their dedication to achieving a state of masterlessness [...].

This could be achieved not just through formal manumission processes, but through running away and re-creating new lives and livelihoods [...]. The [...] knowledge that these dissidents obtained in their labors allowed them to escape to lives not “off the grid,” but rather in the centers of commercial and state activity, ensconced in communities of opposition and poised to obtain news that prepared them well for their next moves in their albeit precarious existence. [...]

Scott complicates earlier framings of the oppositional working class as strictly of European origin [...]; [...] Scott’s unpublished dissertation [...] influenced the interventions made in Linebaugh and Rediker’s The Many-Headed Hydra [...] years later. [...] He centers enslaved people within the revolutionary Atlantic not just as workers [...] but also as strategic thinkers, and he does so long before it was popular to do so in this field of history. [...] [H]e demonstrates how so many ordinary enslaved women and men regularly engaged in quotidian forms of fugitivity across various imperial territories of the Caribbean [...]. The dissertation also came several years in advance of the still pivotal call advanced by Michel-Rolph Trouillot’s 1995 Silencing the Past, about the denied centrality of the Haitian Revolution to the Age of Revolutions in its time and in retrospect. Scott’s work undeniably influenced many Atlantic historians [...]; it is also a genuinely exciting read.

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All text above by: Natasha Lightfoot. "The Common Wind: A Masterful Study of the Masterless Revolutionary Atlantic". The American Historical Review, Volume 125, Issue 3, pages 926-930. June 2020. At: doi dot org slash 10.1093/ahr/rhaa230 [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

#abolition #tidalectics #caribbean #debt and debt colonies #opacity and refusal and fugitivity #multispecies #ecologies #geographic imaginaries

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quixoticanarchy · 3 months ago

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what is the connectography book and why is it so terrible?

Sorry this took a while to collect my thoughts! where do I start.....

tl;dr it's a paean to enlisting every corner of the earth in the global neoliberal economy so that each can maximize their natural role in the supply chain and achieve Development™. All resources feasible to extract should be extracted, "connectivity" is the most important goal and value and metric in the world, supply chains matter more than nations, globalization is an inexorable force for good, we should focus on mass infrastructure projects to speed development (including a bizarre amount of fossil fuel infrastructure projects). yes there are downsides and yes there's a climate crisis going on but don't mind that, it'll actually be quite profitable

long answer under the cut:

Connectography is a book by Parag Khanna - CNN consultant, Brookings Institute guy, former Special Ops embed, National Intelligence Council advisor etc. So off the bat he’s quite embedded (so to speak) and aligned with the US military and national security apparatus, although the focus of the book is economic. The main arguments are that the world can no longer be thought of as a discrete set of countries setting and fighting over national policies, but an interconnected “supply chain world” where systems of production, transportation, and consumption drive policy and development in and of themselves. Consequently he argues for the diminishing importance of the nation-state and an increasing importance of smaller units of power geography like cities as well as broader ones like regions. He then argues that authority will and should devolve from centralized states to smaller units, and that global conflict would diminish or disappear if we could just give every tribal group its own state or at least autonomy within a larger state. Which is..... already quite a take.

His other main contention is that investing in mass infrastructure projects (oil pipelines, trains, highways, ports) is the best way to maximize "connectivity" and speedrun modernity and urbanization and development and industrial exploitation of poor countries. Demands that everyone and everything serve the market's invisible hand have become demands to bow to the needs of supply chains - which despite being quite based in the material world, are often invoked as something of a mystical force with their own whims and desires, uncoupled from human action.

In a way, there are principles that I also hold which show up in a strange twisted mirror version here. He isn't interested in preserving the nation-state as a form - but it's bc he prioritizes transnational supply chains and rule by corporatocracy. He would like to see a more borderless world - but he's also in favor of more borders (give every ethnic group a state, but also states don't matter anymore?), which counterintuitively he says would lead to a more interconnected and frictionless world. He's pro-immigration and freedom of mobility - but elsewhere it's made clear that he's also invested in blocking undesirable "flows" across borders, and is pro-mobility of people just as long as they enhance economic productivity. He makes some cogent critiques of maps and what is obscured by treating political maps of country borders as true and absolute, for instance - but the ways in which he would re-map the world are all to reflect and further the hyperconnected hypercapitalism he applauds. He would rather see structural adjustment programs prescribe infrastructure investments than austerity - but he still supports "developing" countries being forcibly drafted into the global economy and structured according to the (politely vague and innocuous-sounding) demands of supply chains.

The cheerleading for infrastructure projects, which might be mistaken for a benevolent interest in public spending, is much less "repair bridges so they won't collapse and kill people" and much more "repair and build more and bigger bridges so that more and bigger trucks can carry more cargo across them faster". His rather unoriginal instruction to "developing" countries is to accept globalization is inevitable so it's best to get yours where you can: start by selling off your resources and turning them over to private industry, open SEZs (Special Economic Zones, aka Free Trade Zones) and let the corporations use your cheap labor until you ‘develop’ enough to move up the value chain and those industries depart for cheaper and more lawless shores. He's really into SEZs. It's the classic race to the bottom, except he does not dwell whatsoever on that bottom and its conditions, nor its necessity - someone somewhere will always have to be the cheapest, the most exploitable, the most business-friendly. Instead we get, predictably, the argument that the race to the bottom actually lifts all boats bc corporate investment through SEZs teaches backwards countries how to develop faster and better.

Nothing makes me see red like considering how the version of the future which to me is a nightmare - a fully urbanized integrated modernized hypercapitalist corporate-run world of endless growth and consumption and extraction and waste mediated by advanced technology and surveillance, all consequences be damned - is seen as good and desirable and inevitable by various political and military leaders, economists, think tanks, corporations, etc.

It's also kind of sickening how incredibly out of touch all these visions are. There is no discussion of resource scarcity or limits. There is no discussion of waste. My guy Khanna's acknowledgments of climate change are so blasé and opportunistic I would rather he were a rabid climate denier. How do you acknowledge the destabilizing and deadly effects of climate crisis and yet promote and lionize policies that ensure more of those effects? How are mass scale infrastructure projects supposed to knit people together though lasting physical and supply chain interdependence when so fucking many of them are fossil fuel infrastructure projects?? I cannot emphasize enough how much he gushes over countries and companies building ever more oil pipelines, opening up new deposits for drilling (including in the arctic), and putting aside border disputes to transport oil faster and faster to the biggest consumers.

Well, don’t worry - he’s got the climate-meltdown world all figured out. No mention of cutting emissions or keeping temperature rise down or even many mentions of "green" energy; it's still drill baby drill til we die. Most coastal cities will drown and most latitudes will become uninhabitable but it’s ok, Canada and Russia can become the breadbaskets of the world and we’ll tap all those good good arctic basin resources as the ice melts. Probably throw in some geoengineering too. Climate migrants can move north in their millions, and Canada and Russia will welcome them; really, it's convenient, bc they’re too sparsely populated up there anyway and could use some fresh blood.

There are many other ridiculous or appalling things here I could go into if this post weren't already too long - the statement that colonialism is over, inequality is inevitable and a worthy price to pay, antiglobalization activists are naïve and basically a dying breed anyway, the world has gotten so good at controlling desirable flows and preventing undesirable ones--in particular, we're soo good at controlling infectious disease these days (lol. lmao even), the discussion of Dubai and Doha as prime examples of interconnected hyperglobal cities without going into like. human trafficking, the mocking of countries that tried to choose a third way decades ago and were brutally punished, the disparaging of swana/african countries as weak and crisis-ridden (seemingly idiopathic idk. funny), the shameless extolling of the lovely resources found in war zones which sadly preclude their needful exploitation.. etc. Etc.

I hated this book and would only recommend as a know-thine-enemy exercise; I did get a fair bit out of it from that perspective, and it's worthwhile to consider the implications of the worldview that people like this espouse. But it's incredibly depressing and infuriating that the admitted endgame of all this really is to consume everything there is on this planet to squeeze out every drop of profit, and then flee to the poles when it all comes crashing down.

#there's still so much else i could say but. i have to stop typing and retyping this #fucking terrible time reading this. the one funny thing was just how 2016 it was and how much did not go how he thought #the cognitive dissonance of him saying how great the TPP was going to be vs me in high school doing anti TPP activism at that time. lol #so much for all the anti free trade activists have seen the error of their ways! bitch #anyway read sth in the vein of no logo or like. literally so many things other than this #connectography #resource extraction #neoliberalism #asks #disorganisedautodidact

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softlyblues · 1 year ago

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so in my dream narnia that has nothing to do with real narnia, there’s a city that clumps up beside cair paravel, because although i get the agrarian fantasy it’s just not realistic not to have a bustling city beside the docks!

the city is called pavilions in my head, because it’s built sort of clinging onto the cliff that the cair is built of, on these little raised platforms and pavilions. (hah!) and it starts as a sort of shanty town, because oreius and peter lead the army to the cair after the big battle and the coronation and hey! a lot of these people haven’t got homes to go to anymore, but they do have fuckloads of sturdy war tents!

so for the first year or so, they call it pavilions and wait for it to be deconstructed, but it never is. peter gets a bit worried and asks oreius if the army is waiting for any reason, but here’s the thing - when an army hangs around for longer than about nine months, it stops being an army and starts being a sort of mobile town. there are definitely babies. hell, oreius’s army has been around for a hundred years. there are KIDS raised in that warcamp, and they don’t particularly want to go back to long-defrosted burrows, no thank you!

so eventually lucy decides she needs a crusade, and she gets a whole pile of courtiers and hangers-on to make pavilions a bit more official. they make a main street (maybe it’s called broadway, or lions path, or something) and a few branching streets, mostly officialising what’s already there. some of the tents have already turned into wooden shacks, and so lucy and her badgers and beavers and otters and foxes and ducks and (weevils) do a bit of construction, get some of their dwarvish friends to quarry rock from the nearby deposits, and help build a lot of the central buildings. the pub, a few houses of dubious repute (ik its a childrens book but listen), a few market stalls get shoppified.

lucy doesn’t commission them, but they crop up anyway. four statues, made of quartz-veined marble, and very admirable likenesses they are too, because narnia is full of craftsmen. but because pavilions is a piecemealy sort of city, there isn’t room for the four of them together, and they become squares and circles and gardens. queen lucy way. queen susan avenue. king peter road. the statue to edmund is beside a black dwarf bar on the outskirts of pavilions, and occasionally gets egged in the night, and edmund never goes to see it. there’s an official king edmund street, because lucy made the maps, but it’s more like an alley really, the back of a few market stalls and some crooked houses.

#my writing #narnia #narnia headcanons #golden age of narnia #edmund #look i have a lot of golden age thoughts #and i so badly want to explore pavilions #you know that scene in the silver chair #where eustace is too late #in my head those are like bustling docks #beside this huge city #where did the city come from!#it isn't the cair #mnhc

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everythingwaschocolateandsugar · 2 years ago

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The global LiDAR Market was valued at $960 million in 2019, and is projected to reach $5.35 billion by 2030, growing at a CAGR of 16.9% from 2020 to 2030.

#LiDAR Market #Terrestrial #Aerial #Mobile #Short Range #LASER #Inertial Navigation System #Camera #GPS GNSS Receiver #MEMS #Corridor Mapping #Seismology #Exploration & Detection #Defense & Aerospace #Civil Engineering #Archaeology #Forestry & Agriculture #Mining #Transportation

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chickenleafs-world · 1 year ago

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SPOILERS: vaguely mentions some events from chapters 56-68 of episode seven of Disney’s Twisted Wonderland

Reading the new twst ep. 7 story update reminded me of how much I love when games that don’t have as much time to explore the story on screen (like most mobile games) make time ambiguous sometimes. Like, I know the fanfiction girlies can do a lot with that off screen time and it lets the fandom explore so many unique creative avenues and points of view because there’s theoretically as much or as little time there as you want. A lot of time writers on mobile games don’t have the time, budget, or medium flexibility needed for some story beats, and frankly most of the time I prefer the fandom gets to fill it in with the time and talent they have instead of getting half-assed attempts at packing large timeframes into small story segments, or vice versa. With most mediums I prefer the author give us stuff over getting the fans to make it interesting, but with the way the mobile game market hamstrings creators, it’s more understandable there.

For example, in Twst ep. 7, the map makes it look like a long distance between the meeting Lillia and the original fort we were going for. Because of that, plus how time isn’t flowing right now and it’s implied we’re traveling by foot, it could’ve theoretically been weeks or months or more to us of fighting in this war with the Diasomnia boys. Think of the angst potential, after all, you’re traveling in a war zone together, there’s gotta be some trauma forming there eventually, and you’re the only ones who can talk each other through the big emotions of Bawl and Lillia too. Or the fluff of forming cuddle piles because these are the only familiar people around and the Dia boys and Yuu are still just kids. Of Yuu, Silver, and Sebek developing habits around the tense traveling of potential battlegrounds and relying on each other in a fight and to patch each other up.

Or the bittersweet understanding upon coming back that these people have a bigger bond than before. Ace and Deuce realizing the sleepy kid and the loud kid from Diasomnia know Yuu almost better than they do. Malleus realizing his bff/crush/squish is now closer to his guards than to him because of *his* Overblot. Lillia feeling guilty about not waking up sooner and saving them from his dreams of war, when he was a man he no longer feels as fond for. Ortho feeling guilty about not waking them all up easier because maybe then his sensors wouldn’t see their heart rates and adrenaline rise when they heard clanging metal.

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago

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Google's chatbot panic

The really remarkable thing isn’t just that Microsoft has decided that the future of search isn’t links to relevant materials, but instead lengthy, florid paragraphs written by a chatbot who happens to be a habitual liar — even more remarkable is that Google agrees.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/16/tweedledumber/#easily-spooked

Microsoft has nothing to lose. It’s spent billions on Bing, a search-engine no one voluntarily uses. Might as well try something so stupid it might just work. But why is Google, a monopolist who has a 90+% share of search worldwide, jumping off the same bridge as Microsoft?

There’s a delightful Mastodon thread about this, written by Dan Hon, where he compares the chatbot-enshittified front ends to Bing and Google to Tweedledee and Tweedledum:

https://mamot.fr/@[email protected]/109832788458972865

“At the front of the house, Alice found two curious characters, both search engines.

“‘I am Googl-E,’ said the one plastered in advertisements.

“‘And I am Bingle-Dum,’ said the other, who was the smaller of the two, and sported a pout, as to having fewer visitors and opportunity for conversation than the other.

“‘I know you,’ said Alice. ‘Are you to present me with a puzzle? Perhaps one of you tells the truth and the other lies?’

“‘Oh no,’ said Bingle-Dum.

“‘We both lie,’ added Googl-E.”

It just keeps getting better:

“‘This is truly an intolerable situation. If you both lie,’

“ — ‘And lie convincingly,’ added Bingle-Dum —

“‘Yes, thank you. If that is so, then how am I to ever trust either of you?’

“Googl-E and Bingle-Dum turned to face each other and shrugged.”

Chatbot search is a terrible idea, especially in an era in which the web is likely to fill up with vast mountains of AI bullshit, the frozen gabble of stochastic parrots:

https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922

Google’s chatbot strategy shouldn’t be adding more madlibs to the internet — rather, they should be figuring out how to exclude (or, at a minimum, fact-check) the confident nonsense of the spammers and SEO creeps.

And yet, Google is going all-in on chatbots, with the company CEO ordering an all-hands scramble to cram chatbots into every part of the googleverse. Why on earth is the company racing Microsoft to see who can be first to leap off the peak of inflated expectations?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gartner_hype_cycle

I just published a theory in The Atlantic, under the title “How Google Ran Out of Ideas,” where I turn to competition theory to explain Google’s sweaty insecurity, an anxiety complex that the company has been plagued by nearly since its inception:

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/02/google-ai-chatbots-microsoft-bing-chatgpt/673052/

The core theory: a quarter of a century, the Google founders had one amazing idea — a better way to do search. The capital markets showered the company in money, and it hired the very best, brightest, most creative people it could find, but then it created a corporate culture that was incapable of capitalizing on their ideas.

Every single product Google made internally — except for its Hotmail clone — died. Some of those products were good, some were terrible, but it didn’t matter. Google — a company that cultivated the ballpit-in-the-lobby whimsy of a Willy Wonka factory — couldn’t “innovate” at all.

Every successful Google product except search and gmail is an acquisition: mobile, ad-tech, videos, server management, docs, calendaring, maps, you name it. The company desperately wants to be a “making things” company, but it’s actually a “buying things” company. Sure, it’s good at operationalizing and scaling products, but that’s table-stakes for any monopolist:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/06/technical-excellence-and-scale

The cognitive dissonance of a self-styled “creative genius” whose true genius is spending other people’s money to buy other people’s products and take credit for them drives people to do truly bonkers thing (as any Twitter user can attest).

Google has long exhibited this pathology. In the mid-2000s — after Google chased Yahoo into China and started censoring its search-results and collaborating on state surveillance — we used to say that the way to get Google to do something stupid and self-destructive was to get Yahoo to do it first.

This was quite a time. Yahoo was desperate and failing, a graveyard of promising acquisitions that were gutshot and left to bleed out right there on the public internet as the dueling princelings of Yahoo senior management performed a backstabbing Medici LARP that had them competing to see who could sabotage the others. Going into China was an act of desperation after the company was humiliated by Google’s vastly superior search. Watching Google copy Yahoo’s idiotic gambits was baffling.

Baffling at the time, that is. As time went by and Google slavishly copied other rivals, its pathology of insecurity revealed itself. Google repeatedly failed to make a popular “social” product, and as Facebook commanded an ever-larger share of the ad-market, Google made a full-court press to compete with it. The company made Google Plus integration a “key performance indictator” for every division, and the result was a bizarre morass of ill-starred “social” features in every Google product — products that billions of users relied on for high-stakes operations, which were suddenly festooned with “social” buttons that made no sense.

The G+ debacle was truly incredible: some G+ features and integrations were great and developed loyal followings, but these were overshadowed by the incoherent, top-down insistence of making Google a “social-first” company. When G+ collapsed, it totally imploded, and the useful parts of G+ that people had come to rely upon disappeared along with the stupid parts.

For anyone who lived through the G+ tragicomedy, Google’s pivot to Bard — a chatbot front-end for search results — is grimly familiar. It’s a real “die a hero or live long enough to become a villain moment.” Microsoft — the monopolist that was only stayed from strangling Google in its cradle by the trauma of its antitrust dragging — has transformed from a product-creation company to an acquisitions and operations company, and Google is right behind it.

Just last year, Google laid off 12,000 staffers to please a private-equity “activist investor” — in the same year, it declared a $70b stock buyback, extracting enough capital to pay those 12,000 Googlers’ salaries for the next 27 years. Google is a financial company with a sideline in adtech. It has to be: when your only successful path to growth requires access to the capital markets to fund anticompetitive acquisitions, you can’t afford to piss off the money-gods, even if you have a “dual share” structure that lets the founders outvote every other shareholder:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/2004-ipo-letter/

ChatGPT and its imitators have all the hallmarks of a tech fad, and are truly the successor to last season’s web3 and cryptocurrency pump-and-dumps. One of the clearest and most inspiring critiques of chatbots comes from science fiction writer Ted Chiang, whose instant-classsic critique was called “ChatGPT Is a Blurry JPEG of the Web”:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/chatgpt-is-a-blurry-jpeg-of-the-web

Chiang points out a key difference between the output of ChatGPT and human authors: a human author’s first draft is often an original idea, badly expressed, while the best ChatGPT can hope for is a competently expressed, unoriginal idea. ChatGPT is perfectly poised to improve on the SEO copypasta that legions of low-paid workers pump out in a bid to climb the Google search results.

Speaking of Chiang’s essay in this week’s episode of the This Machine Kills podcast, Jathan Sadowski expertly punctures the ChatGPT4 hype bubble, which holds that the next version of the chatbot will be so amazing that any critiques of the current technology will be rendered obsolete:

https://soundcloud.com/thismachinekillspod/232-400-hundred-years-of-capitalism-led-directly-to-microsoft-viva-sales

Sadowski notes that OpenAI’s engineers are going to enormous lengths to ensure that the next version won’t be trained on any of the output from ChatGPT3. This is a tell: if a large language model can produce materials that are as good as human-produced text, then why can’t the output of ChatGPT3 be used to create ChatGPT4?

Sadowski has a great term to describe this problem: “Habsburg AI.” Just as royal inbreeding produced a generation of supposed supermen who were incapable of reproducing themselves, so too will feeding a new model on the exhaust stream of the last one produce an ever-worsening gyre of tightly spiraling nonsense that eventually disappears up its own asshole.

This is the last day (Feb 17) of my Australian tour for my book Chokepoint Capitalism with my co-author, Rebecca Giblin. We’ll be in Canberra at the Australian Digital Alliance Copyright Forum.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: Tweedledee and Tweedledum, standing at the bottom of Humpty Dumpty's wall. Dee and Dum have the logos for Google and Bing on their chests. Humpty is about to fall and is being held up by a motley collection of panicking businessmen."]

#competition #monopoly #google #china #yahiko #chatbots #generative ai #bard #chatgpt #microsoft #innovation #psychoanalysis #google plus #pluralistic

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