#Miss how things used to be but I don't want to like- tell them this bc i know they need time for themselves

[ts-janus-rp-blog]

"Didn't want you to?" Remus snorted, "well, sucks to be him, huh? It's a good thing you didn't, I bet he would've hurt you if you did... And yeah, probably. Really? You don't mind your body?" Remus nodded, "I thought you would've, if I'm being honest. You pass so well that I thought you would've hated your body. I don't mind it either, whatever you're happy with then I'm happy with. I just...wanted you to know that you don't have to keep this body if you don't want to. I'm happy with anything." He smiled to him, then he worked his way back up to start washing the blood off of his neck. "I really have made quite a number of bruises on your neck... We better talk to Patton before he freaks out about this."

"Hm, I doubt that would work... I mean, he won't believe you if you call him. Even if you get Roman to call him and tell him directly that he's safe and happy, I doubt he would believe it. I mean, you can try... But that's just my opinion." The man shrugged, "Yeah? Alright, I'll send him a few dogs with a note. Mhm... Well, he clearly likes dogs, judging by Janus, so I think dogs may be the best bet. I'll get on that right away." The man grabbed a pencil and started writing that down on his notes.

"Oh, also, I have something else to report, talking about Remus... So, one of the boys mentioned that they've been keeping tabs on their ex. This ex lives close to Remus, and he used to be Remus therapist. He also is friends with Roman. But neither of them has spoken to this ex for some time. However, as of recently, after you finally got Roman, he's been spending an awfully long time with Remus all of a sudden. He's got some cameras set up inside of his ex house, and this is what he's caught." The man pulled out his phone, and he hit a few buttons. Finally, he presented the phone to Virgil, it was a live feed of Remus and Emile in the shower, and how they were giggling and moaning. "There's feed of them having sex too. Remus cares so much about his brother that he's having sex with someone he hasn't talked to in years instead of searching for his missing brother. That's horrible, don't you think?"

"Oh? He actually wore that and didn't complain? Huh, I thought he would've complained. I bet he looked quite adorable in it! Did you take any pictures of him? I would love to see it! Oh, I'm sure you made that clear amongst the boys, I heard them chatting about how they would love a piece of roman but they cant. Wow! And he let you do that?" The man chuckled, "I bet that was incredibly hot. Have you had sex with him yet? Do you think he's going to get pregnant anytime soon?"

"Hm... Well, that's another matter I wanted to talk to you about. I feel that the mutt is a liability. He may be working on getting out, or be Romans voice of reason. And we can't have that. I do understand that it makes Roman happy, so I agree that he should stay. However..." The man smirked as he opened his file and slid it over to Virgil. "I have an idea... I've been really interested in doing this experiment, but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet. This is the perfect opportunity." He grinned, "Why don't we turn Janus into a stuffed animal? He won't be able to talk, he won't be able to get into Romans head, and he won't be able to help Roman escape. Hell just be a little plush toy that Roman can hold and feel comforted by. Now... Obviously, Roman would feel distressed to find his friend has turned into a plushie. But, I can manipulate Romans memories to make him think that his plushie has always been that, a plushie." He sipped.

Patton knocked desperately at the strangers door, praying someone, anyone was home. His heart beat as fast and loud as the rain thundering against the sidewalk. He was sure he was being followed, they were going to catch him. They were going to drag him back. He wasn't sure if whoever lived here might be worse, but he was willing to risk it at this point. Anything to escape.

{@moralpuppylover2}

Janus didn't know who would be at the door. It was late, but his master won't surely be home at this time. He normally doesn't get home until the sun starts to come up.

So, as the dog hybrid walked up to the door and opened it, he wondered who it could be. And if he should open it at all... Who knows, he may get in trouble with his master for opening the door. But, his curiosity was getting the better of him-

He stopped when he saw the soaking wet cat standing at the doorway. He could tell that this cat needed help almost immediately. Well, if his poor state of clothes were anything to go by. His eyes flickered up and down the sidewalk before he grabbed pattons arm and pulled him inside.

"are you alright?" Janus nervously asked as he grabbed a towel from the mud room. "Well, that's a stupid question, of course you're not alright! Are you...running away from your owners?" As Janus walked, the collar around his neck would jingle loudly. And even though it was cold outside and even in the house, he only had a pair of boxers on. Because of that, Patton would be able to see the numerous large scars that covered his body...and the countless amounts of fresh bruises.

@moralpuppylover2

[adieutristana]

Hi! Can you make arcane characters x reader who is afraid of touch?

of course! thank you for the request <3

characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn

summary; arcane women with a girlfriend who is afraid of touch.

tags/warnings; hurt/comfort, (vague) mentions of past trauma, fluff, mentions of poor mental health

men dni.

jinx;

✧.* jinx is pretty understanding when it comes to fear of being touched. she is as well, for the most part. when it comes to a relationship, i think jinx would be incredibly touchy, but if you tell her that you're afraid and/or uncomfortable she'll give you the space that you need. yes, jinx enjoys physical touch, but she doesn't want to overstep any boundaries.

✧.* jinx will probably resort to words to show her love instead, though she's not the best with them. saying sweet things like "i missed ya, trinket! i've got something to show ya, yeah?" or "oh gods, you just look so pretty, it's impossible!"

✧.* jinx is the textbook definition of clingy. look up the word in a dictionary, and her face will be underneath. so she won't physically hang off your arm if you're afraid of touch, but she'll still follow closely behind you like some kind of lost puppy. it's endearing, honestly. jinx just needs to be close to you somehow at all times.

✧.* the closeness reassures her. she's used to everyone she lets in, everyone she cares about dying. so to share that proximity with you and have the reassurance that you're here, alive, with her, it means a lot more than jinx thinks you'll ever understand.

✧.* like i said, jinx is the same way to an extent. touch-starved, but also won't let anyone close enough to touch her. so when she met you, let you in and began to trust you, part of jinx did expect that touch. you're in a relationship, after all. but once you explain to her, she understands wholeheartedly!

✧.* also constantly showing her love through gifts and grandiose gestures. makeshift firework shows that are a fire waiting to happen? yep! music boxes that play your favorite songs (although slightly out of tune)? also yes! tagging walls in the undercity with your initials together in hearts! you bet! jinx will go above and beyond, she doesn't want to scare you off by doing something she knows you're afraid of

✧.* on the off chance you do let her touch you she'll be making sure you're alright, but also very very happy for those little moments.

✧.* pressing soft kisses to your cheeks while whispering, "you okay, sweetness?"

✧.* jinx doesn't really question you on these things, she just lets it be. if you say you're afraid of touch, then so be it. not a problem for her.

✧.* "come with me!" she'd say, using her hand to wave you over. "what's this about, jinx?" you'd ask, quirking an eyebrow. jinx would be giggling all the way, shaking her head and nearly skipping towards her destination. "don't worry about it, toots! you'll love it, i promise!"

✧.* knowing jinx, she's probably dragging you to the last drop after hours so she can show you how she decorated it just for you (don't question how she managed to pull that off), or she's taking you to her hideout to show you some of the gifts she made you. she's just so excitable around you, she can't help it

vi;

✧.* vi is a little confused at first i think, but that's just because of her need for communication and specifics. like yes, you're afraid of touch, but what kind of touch?

✧.* she has a loooot of questions. she's not trying to pry at all, genuinely just trying to understand you and where you're coming from better. is it alright if she hugs you every now and then? can she hold your hand? what don't you want her to do? do you need her to ask to touch you, or not touch you at all?

✧.* literally just doing everything in her power to not scare you off. vi has a good thing going with you, something real. the last thing that she wants is to fuck it up because she couldn't keep her hands off of you

✧.* vi is sooo so good with her words, though. a master at sweet talking you to show her adoration.

✧.* "you look so beautiful right now, y'know that? i mean- you always do, but gods, right now..." or something along the lines of, "look at you, all focused and stuff. you always amaze me, cupcake."

✧.* one of her defaults is that it's a trauma response, mostly because she knows that's most of where her sister's fear of touch comes from. she'll try to approach the subject delicately, letting you know that if you need to talk about anything she's here and she only wants to help. it can come off as slightly patronizing without her meaning to, so it really all depends on how you take it.

✧.* if it is a response, then fine, vi wants to help and support you the best she can. if not, then she backs off still, settling for just doing you favors and vocalizing her love for you

✧.* she will not let you do a damn thing if you're in a domestic situation. vi is so loving and attentive. she will handle the cooking, cleaning, laundry, all that... you just rest!!

✧.* honest to gods, vi is just such a sweetheart. literally whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable is done without question by her.

✧.* on the off-chance that your girlfriend does scare you or accidentally crosses a line, she'll be profusely apologizing. asking if there's anything she can do to make it up to you, this is the absolute last thing she wants.. if you need space, you've got it. need words of reassurance? consider it done. literally anything.

✧.* generally, i'd think vi is touchy but not enough that this would be a problem. she's versatile, she can show her love in a lot of ways!

✧.* "mm.. i'll do your laundry for you tonight. give you some time off." "vi, that's not necessary-" "shh. it's done. see? i'm already on my way, getting your laundry..."

mel;

✧.* honestly a bit confused at first. mel has grown up around war, tragedy, and despair, but she hasn't met many people who are just downright afraid of being touched- even in the midst of chaos.

✧.* she probably immediately goes to thinking it's because of something that's happened, though, only because of the war and tragedy that she's seen. she hasn't seen fear of touch in particular, but mel has seen a lot of things affect a lot of people in different ways. if it is, then she wants to support you, of course. if not, she still will do her best to show her appreciation for you in other ways.

✧.* mel is easily one of the most devoted and gentle lovers ever, and she has so many tricks up her sleeve when it comes to affection. we've already established that she'd be spoiling you constantly, but she'd also be using her words so well. i also think mel might be the type to write you poetry, honestly. is she the best writer? probably not. but damn, she pours her heart into it.

✧.* "hey, darling. i wrote something else for you, see?" she'd say while holding up another slip of paper, just to add to the collection of your endless others. "written just for my dearest girl."

✧.* mel is just so attentive. she'll probably be a bit protective, especially in public. even if it's just a stranger innocently tapping you on the shoulder to ask for directions to the station, she doesn't want you to get scared.

✧.* "aht- i'll handle that. directions, yeah? you'll go straight here, then take a left, and another left right past the council building." all before someone can touch you.

✧.* if you do allow any kind of touch later on, mel will tread lightly. it's not that she thinks you can't handle yourself or you're fragile, but she just wouldn't be able to live with herself if she scared you off somehow or hurt you.

✧.* light caresses to your cheeks, gentle hugs, guiding you by the small of your back, her head on your shoulder or lap. always so careful, but so sweet and loving

✧.* of course mel will have a lot of questions initially, but it's only because of her need for connection and understanding. she doesn't mean to push or prod, she just wants to understand her lover better and know exactly what is and isn't okay. what will make you most comfortable being with her, that's all that she wants

✧.* hands-down the best at comforting you if you do happen to get scared by touch, though it's usually not at her own hands.

✧.* "hey. hey, tell me what happened. i'm right here, you're alright." she'd say, her voice low and soothing. "nothing's gonna hurt you, nothing's gonna touch you. at least not while i'm here. just let me make things better."

sevika;

✧.* i don't think you'd really need to have a conversation with sevika about it. she's intuitive. the first time you flinched from her touch, trying to wrap an arm around your waist, she knew something was up and she backed off. she wouldn't ask, wouldn't push for more information than you're comfortable giving her. something in her tells her that it's a sensitive topic, and asking might make things worse.

✧.* if you want to talk to her about it, the floor is open. you know that she'll listen, she always does. but until then, she won't pry.

✧.* if you do decide to have that conversation with sevika, she'll take in and cling onto every last word. we've established time and time again how loyal and devoted she is, how she'll do anything just to make sure you're content. she'd listen attentively, taking note of every little thing that you say scares you, of every shift in tone of your voice.

✧.* "i... thank you for telling me this." she'd whisper, her eyes locked with yours. "you know you don't have to hide a thing from me, yeah? but i won't ask for more than you wanna tell me, either. just don't hold out on me, dove."

✧.* besides, sevika has a lot of other ways she can show her love to you. that connection can be achieved through other means! late night talks, bringing you to play games of blackjack and poker with her, etc.

✧.* that's actually one of her favorite ways to have fun with you: gambling! as odd as it may sound, it's one of her favorite pastimes, and getting you involved in her world is a big deal for sevika. someone who famously doesn't let anyone in. so for her to play games alongside you when she's typically merciless, giving you tips for your own hand, it's a big deal.

✧.* if you do allow sevika to touch you, it'll be fleeting and soft. almost as if she's afraid. it's only because she wants to ensure your comfort and sanctuary, really.

✧.* light kisses to your jawline as she whispers things like, "look at you, so beautiful," or "my sweet girl, you look tired. let's turn in, hm? i can hold you. or not. your call, dove..."

✧.* like she doesn't need to be told twice that you're afraid. sevika is very good with respect, very good with communication and laying off. she loves you, she doesn't want to make you afraid or uncomfortable at all if she can help it.

✧.* super protective in public, though. if anyone tries to touch you at all, even if just to push past you in a crowded place, she's immediately pushing them away from you and telling them off.

✧.* "hey. you lay off her, ya hear? thought we learned as kids to keep our hands to ourselves."

caitlyn;

✧.* i think caitlyn would also catch on pretty quickly. she'd ask just to be sure, but she's a smart woman. she can take hints, put pieces together, figure things out. the first time you inched away from her touch was coincidence, the second time was anything but.

✧.* naturally, cait brought it up with you when she got a moment that was just you and her. she tries to approach the subject with caution and care, as she doesn't want to scare you off or seem like she's aiming to force information out of you. but she loves you, and she worries.

✧.* "you can tell me things, love. i promise, i won't get angry. whatever it is, you can tell me."

✧.* she's understanding once you do tell her! she's been raised knowing devastation and war, though her upbringing is privileged. she still knows about trauma, about fear, about phobias, all that kind of thing. even if it's just a thing of general anxiety and you not wanting to let people in that way. she won't take it personally, she knows that this is just something innate within some people

✧.* caitlyn will likely resort to her words and acts of service instead. she's constantly doing things for you, trying to make your life easier in any way that she can. if there's some housework you need done, consider it taken care of. if you're feeling hungry, she's cooking your favorite without a second thought.

✧.* she might accidentally touch you without thinking- like a brush against your back or a grasp of your hand, but she immediately pulls back and apologizes the second she realizes what she's doing. she gets the hang of it rather quickly, but she's used to showing physical affection to her family and friends.

✧.* she still loves sharing a bed with you at night, but cait makes it abundantly clear that she doesn't expect you to cuddle up to her, and she won't hold you unless you ask her to. she's perfectly happy having you next to her, just your presence soothes her to sleep.

✧.* "shh... just sleep, dear. i'll be right here. you always look so peaceful when you're at rest, it's beautiful."

✧.* cait is honestly just so sweet and understanding, she'll do anything and everything in her power to make sure that you're at ease!

[beneathsilverstars]

what does the party think of loop being a different siffrin. like why theyre here. likee do they think loop is a siffrin who.. succeeded? a siffrin who died?

[context: Dagger Ending AU]

Ooh yes. Here's everyone's theories from the first week or two, and what Loop had to say about them!

They've all discussed their theories together (though with some details omitted when Bonnie's there), and they have varying opinions on each other's, but they mostly stick to arguing their own if just because they have a clandestine bet going on. Maybe a little gauche, but sometimes you need to lighten the mood by acting the same way you do for sillier topics.

Bonnie's theory: Siffrin asked the stars for a friend.

Bonnie's story is inspired by some fairytales they were told when they were younger. Those fairytales were inspired by stories from the forgotten island, so Bonnie's version here actually brings it closer to the originals again! Though of course, with a Vaugardian twist.

Bonnie says: Siffrin was worried about being left alone, so since he really likes the stars for some reason, he asked the stars to be his friend forever. So one of the stars came down to be with him! But obviously a dot of light wouldn't make a very good friend, so they had to Change to be a person — and a dot of light that isn't a person yet wouldn't know how to Change right yet, so they just cheated and copied Siffrin. But it's impossible to Change to be exactly like another person, you can only ever be a new version of yourself, so that's why Loop isn't the exact same as Siffrin.

Bonnie: I know you don't want to explain to us why there's two of you, and why you're not a— you're... more different than people can normally be, but if I tell you my thee-ry, will you at least just say if I'm right? Loop: Hm... Probably not. Loop: But you should tell me anyway! [Bonnie explains their theory.] Loop: Aw! That's a very cute story~ [Loop's smile becomes more forced.] Loop: That is all I am, aren't I? A star friend for pooor little Siffrin, so he doesn't have to be all alone? Bonnie: I knew it!!! Bonnie: Do you miss being a normal star, up in the sky? [Loop takes a deep breath.] Loop: I miss a lot of things. But I asked to be here. Bonnie: Oh! Did you ask for a friend, too? It would make sense for the stars to pick you to send, if you were lonely too. Loop: ... I did! You're very good at this. Bonnie: Of course I am!!! Loop: You know, you should tell your story to stardust. I think they'll like it better than I do. [Bonnie runs off to tell Siffrin about it, and then to tell the other adults that Loop said they were totally right.]

Isabeau's theory: Loop is a sadness made out of Siffrin's self-hatred and loneliness.

There's stories about people finding "their" sadness that mirrors them exactly, including both fiction that uses it as a metaphor for inner battles, and folktales that claim to be true. Isabeau used to not believe the folktales at all, because they vary so wildly, and surely one single person's emotions couldn't be strong enough to make a sadness as sapient as some of the stories claim — no sadnesses are that clever, not even the big powerful ones that are made out of so many people's emotions that they aren't even vaguely human-shaped.

But, now, well... If it is possible, it's hard to find any negative emotions stronger than the reasons someone tried to kill themself. And it's undeniable that Loop seems to be closer to a sadness in physiology than they are to any living creature.

Plus, there could very well be some other factor that pushed Loop into full personhood! Some of the stories include the sadness feeding on its originator until the person wastes away and the sadness takes their place, which is far-fetched, but so is this whole situation. Or, animating a statue kind of involves putting a bit of yourself into it — your craft energy, your intentions — so perhaps Siffrin had put a lot of themself into Loop, in a way that isn't possible with something nonliving. It would explain the craft exhaustion, too, if Siffrin had fueled Loop's becoming in some way or another.

Isabeau: Bonnie said you said they were right. That you're a star sent to be Sif's friend. Loop: I'm sure they did. Isabeau: ... But it's not true, right? [Loop looks away.] Loop: ... I didn't actually tell them it was. I didn't lie to them. Just... parts of it. Isabeau: Parts of it were true? Isabeau: Which parts? Loop: ... What do you think? Isabeau: Well, it would depend on exactly how they worded it, wouldn't it? They keep changing their mind on the details. Loop: What do you think, then? Isabeau: About… Loop: Me. Isabeau: Right. [Isabeau makes a face.] Isabeau: I... don't know that it would do any good to tell you. Loop: Wow, that bad, huh? Now I have to hear it. Isabeau: Just, promise you won't take it the wrong way? [Loop squints at him.] Loop: I'll take it whatever way I want. Isabeau: Alright, fair enough. Alright. But, whether or not my theory is true, that doesn't change how I think about you, okay? You're a person, and you're our friend, and I'm glad you're here with us. Loop: Just get on with it, Fighter. Isabeau: Yeah, yeah, alright. Isabeau: It’s... I think you might be a sadness? [Loop gasps dramatically.] Loop: Ooooh, how could you~? Isabeau: There would definitely have to be more to it. You are a person, and you're stable, Sif's moods don't affect you any more than they do the rest of us. But... you're not human. You don't need to sleep, you can't eat, you're just... not made out of living stuff? But you're not artificial either, you're not an inanimate thing that's been crafted to move. You're alive! And there's only one sort of... being... that I know of, that's alive but not living. And, well... Sif...... Loop: ... They were so very, very sad. Isabeau: Yeah. Loop: Well! It does make sense! Loop: Of course you'd go for the depressing, realistic answer! Loop: You're entirely wrong, of course, but... Loop: I... [Loop looks down at their hands.] [They move their hands up, to grip their arms.] Isabeau: Sorry. I knew you wouldn't like it. I swear it really, really doesn't matter, okay? However you... got here... you're here now, and you're you, and we're glad of it. Loop: ... Isabeau: I'll go see if Bonbon needs any help with dinner.

Mirabelle's theory: Siffrin killed himself, and he both got brought back to life and lived on as a ghost.

To be exact, he successfully(-ish?) committed suicide when he said he was going to go take a nap in the meadow. She thinks it's an earlier attempt rather than the one Odile saw because: Siffrin had originally told Isabeau he wanted to talk again with someone he'd spoken to the day before — which could only have happened earlier in the day, because Siffrin was never left alone later — and while that could be a lie it also explains how Siffrin knew that Loop was at the favor tree at all; Odile mentioned how confident and unflinching he was about it, which could be explained by having done it before; and everyone agrees that the recent changes in Siffrin started, though more subtly, after the nap in particular.

Siffrin not dying from his late afternoon attempt isn't necessarily as much of a factor — Vaugardian ghost lore includes stories of people being haunted by earlier versions of themselves that they’d Changed away from, so there’s precedence for living people having ghosts. Of course this means there are other major Changes besides death (or deciding to die) that can create a ghost, but the other ways Siffrin has changed don't seem quite dramatic enough in the right way to have been the catalyst. In fact, it’s strange than Loop seems to be the more Changed of the two! But perhaps pre-Dormont Siffrin actually was more like Loop and just hid it better, or perhaps Siffrin used to be more like Loop at an earlier point in their life, and had somewhat Changed but not enough to be happy with themself. Either way, any of Loop's traits that post-Dormont Siffrin doesn't seem to share much at all would be parts of themself that pre-Dormont Siffrin "killed".

Mirabelle: Loop... You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but... Are you a ghost? Loop: You know, stardust guessed the same thing! And I told them... Well, I don't remember anymore. Something about the Favor Tree being my grave? Loop: Anyway, you could sort of say that! Except, how could I be his ghost when he didn't actually die? You made sure of that. Mirabelle: Well... I thought maybe... Mirabelle: Maybe Siffrin did kill themself? Before that? And you're the parts of Siffrin that they killed, but you stayed because... because you still had things to get done, or Siffrin still needed you, or… or something like that...? Loop: HA! Loop: Yeah, something like that!!! [Loop laughs hysterically for a bit, then suddenly stops.] Loop: ... Go away, Housemaiden. [Mirabelle leaves to fetch Siffrin.] [While she's gone, Loop leaves the camp.] [Siffrin finds them and brings them back several hours later.]

Odile's theory: Siffrin wished for a companion.

The final loop through the house didn't include either of the forgotten language books on wish craft, but it did include discussion of the impossibility of time craft, and the diary where a lonely person wished for a copy of themself. Odile initially dismissed the diary as creative fiction, but it was still fresh on her mind when she met Loop later that day!

During the next couple days in Dormont, she asked Euphrasie about how she crafted Mirabelle's blessing, because she loves cutting-edge craft. The conversation turned to the King's impossible time craft, and Euphrasie said she thinks he probably used wish craft. She explained that she doesn't know much because it's hard to find anything more than brief mentions of it, but she's confident it's real. She's pretty sure you need to do very particular things in order to use it, though — not any old wish will do — and she doesn't know what those things are. But it's probably the only way the King could have gotten the power to stop time, and there's a chance that the people of Vaugarde’s wishes for salvation contributed to his defeat (but she's not sure because who knows if anyone actually wished the right away).

Now, knowing that wish craft could be real… it’s strange to think that Siffrin might know about something basically unheard of. But they did know about the orrery in the house, and caring about stars is basically unheard of, too! And… Loop says they’re a star… and the King has stars on his armor….. And it’s risky to use one guess as evidence for another, but that could be three instances where the shape or knowledge of stars appeared alongside the use or knowledge of wish craft. And Siffrin spoke to Loop at the Favor Tree, and supposedly that’s where they spoke the day before too, and a Favor Tree is a place where you ask for something you want.

Siffrin’s craft exhaustion could be a point for or against; on one hand, making a copy of yourself must be powerful craft, but on the other hand, wish craft was what allowed the King to perform craft so strenuous that it should’ve instantly killed him. Plus, Siffrin’s exhaustion didn’t hit till at least a full day after they went to the Favor Tree alone the first time. So Odile doesn’t know enough to call that factor either way.

And why would Siffrin try to kill themself shortly after their wish came true? Was it just not everything they hoped it would be? Siffrin and Loop fight a lot, but they obviously care for each other a lot, too… But maybe even getting something they really wanted could make a depressed person feel worse, if it doesn't help as much as they hoped it would, and they decide that means they’re hopeless.

Odile decided on this theory by day three. There are other mysteries that aren’t as neatly explained by it, like the ease with which Siffrin navigated the house, but perhaps they’d made a second wish? Or perhaps that was the influence of the Vaugardian wishes that Euphrasie talked about? And over the following weeks, Siffrin’s behavior has only gotten stranger, in worrying, unexplainable ways. Odile is finding many different pieces to an unknown number of puzzles… but she’s fairly certain she’s got a good start on the Loop corner.

Loop: Well, Researcher? Everyone else has told me their theories on what and how and why I am. What's yours? Odile: I was wondering when you’d ask. My best theory is that Siffrin made a wish — for a friend who wouldn’t leave him, or someone who understood what he felt, or something along those lines — and your existence was the answer. Loop: … Loop: Same story as the Kid, huh? Odile: You did say that they got parts of it right. Loop: It just seems a bit unrealistic for you, Researcher~ Stardust wished for a friend and one just fell out of the sky? Odile: Your entire existence is unrealistic, Loop. But if a craft has the power to freeze an entire country in time, surely it also has the power to create life. Or split it, perhaps. Loop: … But the king used time craft. What does that have to do with wish craft? Odile: The Head Housemaiden of Dormont believes wish craft is what gave him the power to stop time. Loop. W- How does she know about wish craft?? Odile: How do you, Loop? Loop: The— It’s— [Odile waits patiently.] Loop: The book! The, the diary, in that room, with the— the thing for the stars. It talked about wish craft. Odile: Ah, of course. The diary of a person who felt lonely and misunderstood, so they used wish craft to make a copy of themself. The diary you’ve never seen, because you… branched off, let’s say, the day before we fought through the House. Loop: Stardust told me about it! Odile: Of course. You know, they remember a surprising amount about the House? It's been several weeks, and you'd think between the traumatic injury the day before and the fevers afterwards, even the average person would consider it all a bit of a blur. But they still remember details that the others have forgotten, about conversations it seemed they were barely paying attention to. Even one or two things that I don't remember at all. [Loop breathes shallowly.] Loop: W— What are you implying? Odile: Nothing in particular. However shaky the wish craft theory seems, I'm even less sure about everything else. Loop: Well, you should be! Because there is nothing else! [Odile sighs.] Odile: I'm sorry, I know you don't want us knowing about these things. You and Siffrin both. But he's... not doing well. [Loop looks away.] Odile: And frankly, I don't think you are, either. But we can't help if we don't know what the problem is! It's your choice not to tell us, but I'm not going to stop trying to figure it out. Loop: It doesn't matter! The other things. He has you now, all four of you. You're helping. They'll be okay. Odile: What about you, Loop? Loop: ... I'm helping too. I'm trying. I'm here to help them. Odile: Loop... [Odile is about to say something, but stops. She takes a deep breath before continuing.] Odile: It would help a great deal if you and he could be more open with us. Loop: ... Odile: Can I take this as confirmation of my theory, at least? Loop: ... Not quite. Odile: But I'm close. [Loop doesn't claim otherwise.]

[simmerianne93]

[Simmerianne93]Portrait_poses_18

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Hello everyone! How are you today? Are you enjoying the sims and the sims 2 or are you still playing the sims 4 above all? haha unfortunatelly I can't afford any of them haha so it'll have to wait, but I hope you are having a pretty good time!!

Here you have another "Memories" posepack!! Or that's what I would have called it if I were naming my packs with proper names xD but as I'm basic, this is a new "Portrait" posepack for you and your pixel families to create memories for the wall.

I was going to bring this pack on the 30th, to end January, but I decided to wait a couple of days because of the rerelease thing and all the hype. And actually, this was a pack that i was planning for december as part of the family collab but I was short of time and I couldn't do them.

Anyway, my idea now on is to bring one family portrait pack each month (or each two months), 'cause I received more ideas than expected when asking for them for the collab... I want to make all the suggestions (and my own ideas as well) 'cause I feel like there are a lot of "basic" poses with 1 or 2 children... sometimes 3... but variations are kind of missing.... so lets see how it goes and if I can make all the poses you suggested...

The poses that I made this time I made them for my own use... If you follow me on bsky (and even if you don't) you may know by now that I'm playing the events with my simself, and she already have a fam... I was looking poses for 2 toddlers and 1 infant / 2 children and 1 toddler to make some memories befor the little ones grow up... and I couldn't find ANY... so... it was time to work on them... and this is what i got.... now you have a family posepack for those cases when you have twins and then an unexpected (or not XD) infant... haha

Althought... now my simself is having a 4th child xD so maybe I'll need to make another pack with 2 children, 1 toddler and 1 infant.... it never ends.... hahahaha maybe that's the pack I''ll bring at the end of this month....

And... talking about the month... its february.... and you know what it means, isn't it?.... VALENTINE POSES!! I have a few ideas in mind... and I hope I can make them all... keep in touch to have all the next packs!! I don't know if I'll be able to share the "coming soon post" but I'm telling you already that there's a few interesting packs coming this month!!

Thank you for always being there!!

Enjoy these poses!!!

Dag, dag!!

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What is on it?

2 Trio poses (one with 2 toddlers and 1 infant/ one with 2 children and 1 toddler)

5 Groupal poses for 5 sims (2 adults, 2 toddlers and 1 infant)

5 Groupal poses for 5 sims (2 adults, 2children and 1 toddler)

--- What do you need?

Andrew poses player.

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo or Mccc by deaderpool.

Invisible infant mat replacement  by mcrudd  (OPTIONAL FOR INFANTS WHO HAVEN'T LEARN HOW TO SIT YET)

"The hipster hugger" sofa from Basegame (or any 3sits-sofa or 2sits-sofa, tho it can glitch a little bit depending on wich sofa you choose and depending on the pose)

a double bed (I used a bed from Seasons EP but the poses may work with others)

a dinning chair (I used one from Cat and dogs EP but the pose may work with others)

———

Instructions in the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — [FREE FOR EVERYONE]

——————

If you want to support me:  Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest |  Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter | BlueSky | Instagram | Tumblr

Lives and videos: Youtube

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for using them.

@ts4-poses

--

[ierr]

reverse comfort // katsuki bakugo

↳ summary you distance yourself from bakugo because you’re self conscious about being together, but he comforts you.

a.n HELLO EVERYONEEEEE, I have good news for you all!! the server is completed!! if you would like to join, the link will be down below!! enjoy.

DISCORD SERVER

you were more distant then normal. always dodging him in the office, keeping conversations short, it started to piss him off by the days went by of you acting like this. many times when you both were alone he would try to ask what's wrong, but you would always dodge the question by asking him a question, or simply excusing yourself from the room. there was something bothering you, he could tell by the way you're acting, and how tense you are around him. he squinted his eyes in frustration with arms crossed as he saw you talking to one of the police officers about a situation with a villain that happened not so long ago, you looked more "comfortable" as you were standing next to him talking. you could practically feel his glare on you, but not wanting to make anything obvious since they’re cameras around, you continued to ignore him as you chatted with the officer.

It was starting to piss him off.

he wanted to figure out what was wrong with you, but you would simply avoid everytime. you felt his eyes glaring at you from the back of your head shivering from the attention, but keeping your composer as you talked to the police officer. when the day came to an end, it was only you, and katsuki in the building considering you are his personal assistant, and on top of that you live with him so he's your ride home. when you were packing up your stuff to get ready to go you felt hands wrap around your waist pulling you close to their body. the familiar warmth..comfort..cologne..it made you tense a little averting your eyes to make sure no one else was here. feeling you tense up in his arms made him groan, "why have you been avoiding me." he asked in a rough, but soft tone, caressing along your hips hearing you sigh, "I haven't been—" — "don't lie to me." you stopped talking, sucking in a breath staying quiet. hearing your silence only made him more frustrated, he frowned pulling back a little to turn you around, now facing him.

you guys haven't been this close in the past few days. you missed his touches.."is there something you're not telling me?." you frowned looking away from him, you were too embarrassed to say what was bothering you..seeing you stay quiet for the second time he frowned, "did I do something?." almost immediately you shook your head stepping closer to him, "no!— no..of course you didn't it's just.." you paused with a deep sigh, for the past week or two you've overheard a lot of conversation about his fans speaking about his girlfriend..aka you. they don't know who he's dating, but there has been photos leaked to the public. luckily your face is blurred in all of them. one day when you were coming back home from getting dinner that night you had over heard a conversation. you were used by now with all his fans calling him attractive or whatever, but what shocked you was the way they were speaking about you. technically.

"I bet she's not even cute.." — "ugh..dynamite is too good for her!." and so on so fourth. you were already feeling a bit self conscious about being with a pro, so hearing these things made you even more self esteemed. you groaned, “it’s stupid..” you said feeling embarrassed about it, but sighing you groaned. “the other day..I overheard these two girls talking about you, and “technically” me.” as you told him what happened, his face scrunched up in annoyance. not at the fact you’re upset, but the fact that people really have the nerve to care about someone who they don’t know love life. after you finished telling him it was silent, but katsuki sighed pulling you closer to him, slightly towering over you. “look at me.” is what he said, looking at him, “who gives a fuck about what others say. they don’t know you, and they sure as hell don’t know me. don’t let em’ get to ya head dummy.” he said flicking your head in a playful matter, glaring at him. “I love you idiot, if anything bothers you, talk to me. don’t distant yourself.” he furrowed his eyebrows, nodding your head. you do admit, you shouldn’t have distant yourself from him considering it wasn’t his fault. that same night, you guys made dinner together like always, and went to bed, but what you didn’t expect while you were sleeping soundly next to him he decided to do the unexpected.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 24

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pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n hi. it's me. i'm back. i don't have any excuses to make.

please also check out daybreak, posting weekly from now on (yes i did write an entire smau instead of queenmaker and sit on it for almost six months)

previous | masterlist | next

---

Comeback approaches like a hurricane; it's there, developing in the corner of your eye just off the coast of your island, and then all at once it is here, and it is so all-encompassing that you're not even sure where here is anymore.

Comeback. Debut. The most important day of your life. One of those.

 Time starts to fly by; schedules and practice and filming and every so often the chance to sleep or to grab something to eat with the others. It drags at your coattails, sticks itself to your feet and settles like a weight upon your shoulders, but you can't stop. There are performances to film, and then there is a concert that you are missing so much of the choreography for, and even when all of that is over, you are headfirst into award season and special performances and group activities for the company and-

First, debut. Second, everything else.

The camera sits on the table in front of you, staring with one dark, unblinking eye as a brush darts across your face, erasing all your imperfections. It fills your stomach with a funny kind of fear, small but poisonous, stinging when you think about turning it on - you've managed to put it off so far, waiting until your face was made up to at least avoid having to see your own naked skin reflected back at you in the viewfinder. No one else wanted to see that either, you're sure, after the things you've read and...well, the experiences you've had in the past. It's good to know your limits, after all.

That excuse is fast running out now though, and the time to go up towards the stage is drawing closer with alarming speed, and if you don't capture any footage before that happens, you're in some real trouble, no matter how loudly Seungmin and Felix are churning out hours worth of content on the other side of the room.

It takes real, deliberate effort to lean forward and turn that camera on once the makeup artist proclaims you ready, your hands delaying still as they fiddle with the angle and the focus, following the motions the manager that had handed it to you had shown you before he left. It gives you a little red light to say it is filming, and you swallow down the stone in your throat and sit up straight, looking around at the room to avoid the stare of its lense.

The first minute of your vlog is very boring. It's probably only the thought of some stranger sitting in a room later and watching you sit there awkwardly for a ridiculous amount of time that spurs you into saying anything at all. 

"Hello Stay," you begin, because it seems the only way to begin. The words feel awkward in your mouth, your tongue stiff and undeserving of saying them, and your throat scratches and dries; you think, as you speak, that you do not sound like a singer at all. "It's nice to meet you...for the second time." 

A noise rises up from behind you, giving you pause just as you run out of things to say - Han, running his voice up and down the scales as he begins to warm up. You've gotten used to that by now, the volume of the boys around you, but you're grateful for the excuse to pause in your self-rumination anyway, the precious seconds it gives you to figure out what it is you're saying.

Act normal, you tell yourself firmly as you turn back to the camera.

"I guess I should introduce myself, shouldn't I?" you say, your fingers twisting in your lap. "I'm L/N Y/N from Stray Kids, and today we're at [] for our first performance of Back Door, and I have just finished with the makeup..."

In the corner of the viewfinder, you notice a face hovering over your shoulder; Jeongin, waving a peace sign just out of your field of vision. You turn to look at him, shuffling over so that he is in full view for the camera. "What are you doing?" you ask and he leans in closer, automatically fixing the angle for the camera.

"I just wanted to see what you were doing," he says, refreshingly peaceful compared to the chaos that is building in the rest of the room. "Is this a vlog?"

"Mhm," you answer, and he smiles and waves again to the camera. "Are you dressed already?"

"Nearly," he says, glancing down at his white shirt and the black necklace that dangles around his neck. "You have time still."

You glance down at yourself; hoodie and cargo pants, neat but not show-ready by any means. "Mine is cold," you say by way of explanation, thinking of the skirt and thin shirt that wait on a rack in the next room, a far cry from the long pants the eight of them are wearing; and you really do like the look you've been given, but the thought of sitting around cold before you had to was less than enticing. "I was going to go and change in a minute."

"Maybe you should swap with someone," I.N suggests slyly. "I bet Changbin would look good in a skirt."

"Changbin's pants wouldn't fit me," you throw back, and he has to turn away from the camera to hide the ugly laugh that snorts from his nose. "He's too-"

Short, you don't say, your eyes tracking the boy in question as he passes by. He pauses in the back of your video when he notices your eyes on him, looks between you suspiciously, and then dances his way out of frame, having decided, you guess, that you aren't up to anything worthy of comment.

The look you share with I.N almost makes you laugh again. "I'm going," you say, scooping up your camera as you stand, "before he realises we're talking about him."

---

"Why do you look nervous?" Chan asks, a shadow that suddenly stands beside you as someone clips a mic pack onto his belt. You eye him in disbelief to avoid turning to look at the hallway that leads to the stage again, trying to figure out if he's joking or not.

"I can be nervous if I want to," you answer after a few seconds, in a way that definitely doesn't hide how anxious you feel at all. 

"But you shouldn't be," he insists, "because there's nothing to be nervous about."

"You know that won't stop me," you scoff.

He cracks a smile despite himself. He almost laughs, except that he's busy turning to nod in acknowledgement of whatever the assistant behind him says on her way past. "It's going to be a good performance," he says, like the simple act of saying it is enough to manifest it into existance, like he would never believe otherwise.

"It's going to be good," you agree readily. "The concerts next week are going to be good too."

That smile flashes across his face again, his eyes lighting up. "You're excited?" he asks - and you almost feel guilty, that he would think that you wouldn't be excited, that you've worked so hard and put on such a stoic face that any of them might start to think this is a chore for you, rather than a dream coming true in front of your eyes.

"Of course I'm excited," you tell him emphatically, before he can get any ideas. "I can't wait to-"

"Y/N noona!" Changbin says as he strides across the room, stopping the thought halfway through. You turn to face him and the phone he waggles in his hand questioningly. "Take a photo with me."

"Right now?" you ask, looping your in-ears over your shoulders as if to demonstrate just how poor his timing is.

Changbin doesn't notice at all. "Why not now?" he questions. "I'm supposed to take a photo for instagram. Come and take one with me."

Beside you, Chan looks like he still has something to say, but when you glance at him, he only shrugs, turning away to fiddle with his own equipment. "Alright," you agree easily and follow Changbin, over to a bland enough piece of wall with decent lighting. You have a feeling someone has already scouted the room earlier for the best places to take photos, judging by how easy it is to find and how well it photographs.

It's a good distraction from the nerves for a few minutes, but it doesn't last much longer than that; especially not when Changbin barks and fusses over the angle and the faces, and then Hyunjin comes wandering over to take the camera out of his hand, and you realise that he's occupying you as much as doing what Skijigi have asked him to do. After that, you laugh and poke fun back at him with just the same vivacity, but it does nothing to assauge the anxiety that's planted deep in your gut, roots curling out to envelop you.

Somehow, when you're done, it is time to go up to the stage - and suddenly, you are engulfed within the group and walking that hallway you had been staring at what feels like moments ago, trying to swallow with a dry mouth and a stone in your throat and wondering if you'll actually be able to get any of the notes out at all.

Chan's hand touches your shoulder as you walk, appearing by your side in just the same way as he had earlier. You wonder if he can smell fear or something; or if you really are just that pale and drawn in the face, if your hands are shaking or something. Whatever it is, you're clearly not doing a very good job of hiding it. 

"You still look nervous," he tells you cheerily, and if he's aware that he's reading your thoughts, he doesn't give any indication of it, not even as he pulls you aside as you reach side-stage and glances up at the huddle of boys that continue to the bottom of the stairs, eyeing them as if there's something he doesn't want them to hear.

"I got you something," he says, when he's sure there are no eavesdroppers, and lets his lips curve in a secretive, delighted smile.

Your eyebrow raises in surprise, almost certain that he did not forget, but rather has been looking for the right time to bring it up - but he doesn't notice the look of disbelief, fishing a small, velvet bag out of his pocket. He offers it to you on an outstretched palm, a bridge to form the gap between you.

With timid, shaking fingers you take it, noting the pink that stains his cheeks and the way he cringes away from meeting your eye as you pull the drawstrings loose. "I saw you playing with the ones at K-Con," he hurries to explain before you can even see what's inside. "And you - fidget a lot. I thought it might help."

A ring tumbles out of the bag and into your palm, the full stop to the end of his sentence. It's only a plain silver band, softly curved at the edges and gleaming where the light hits it - nothing ostentatious or gaudy. Just a simple band for you to twist around your finger, the letters SKZ engraved on its inner circle.

"Thankyou," you manage to say as you slip it onto your finger - and then fiddle with it, twisting it and forth to distract yourself from the nervous hum that seems to hang in the air between you.

"Oh, no." He waves you away before you can even get the words out, that pink flushing his face. "Look, it works already." 

You glance down at your fingers and the twist of the ring, and feel the grin that bites at your face. "I like it," you admit, and try to breathe the nervous jitters out of your chest with the words. 

He looks...relieved? You're not sure, when the music blasts on stage and then cuts off and the crowd roars in response, cutting him off before he can say whatever it is that now lines the back of his teeth. It looks like relief on his face though; as if he'd been worried you wouldn't take the gift or something. Wouldn't see the sentiment behind it even if you didn't like it. What does he think of you, if that's how he thinks you might react?

The thought sends another thrill of fear down your spine, one that the scrape of that ring on your finger can't quiet. So does the scream of that crowd - adrenaline rises from your chest, wrapping its hands around your throat; that wild, senseless energy tensing in your body like you're about to run from a fight-

A hand claps your shoulder. "Are you breathing?" Seungmin asks, balancing on one foot as he leans around you to frown at your face.

You have to inhale to retort, and he smirks. "That's what I was wondering," Chan says behind that grin - but the brush of his hand over the back of yours is much softer; questioning, rather than the jolt of contact from Seungmin.

"I don't need to breathe," you throw at them weakly. "I'm a robot."

"How do I turn you off, then?" Chan asks, and then laughs when you stare at him, surprised. Betrayed, maybe, when you would have expected such a thing to come out of Seungmin's mouth rather than his.

You're distracted by the call of a staff member, waiting to usher you onto the stage - and there, again, are your nerves, returned in two-fold. Debut, you remember again for the thousandth time today. Your dream. Your reward. Your life's work, the only work you've ever learnt how to do.

The group huddle together, say some quick words of encouragement that float past you with registering at all. Your hand is warm in the centre of all of theirs, crushed by the weight of someone's palm as eight hands go down and whoever is on the bottom goes up, ruining the whole thing. You know that you laugh, between the groans and cries of retribution, but it doesn't reach right into your chest. All your attention is laser-focused on the steps before you and the buzz of the crowd waiting beyond.

You are not alone in your daze, at least. Many hands pat your shoulders, smooth your hair. Felix throws an arm around you until you reach the stairs, a one-armed hug while he talks about something in your ear. He lets you go while you climb, and follows on your heels out onto the stage.

The crowd is smaller than K-Con, to your mercy, even if they scream and cheer just as loud as that massive crowd had. It seems like a stupid thing to find comfort in a moment later, when the thought hits you again; of course the crowd is smaller. This is only a broadcast recording, not the concerts that leer at your from the near future.

Some of the boys are already at the centre of the stage, waving and talking to fans. You join them long enough for the official greeting - and then melt away into the background when Changbin immediately commands attention. You find Han there with you, arms swinging by his sides in one last warmup, but you can't think of anything to say other than the tight grin that offers itself to him, no doubt writing all you nerves right onto your face. The smile he gives you in return is sympathetic, and devoid of pretty words to go with it; just a flash of teeth, a puff of air that blows into his cheeks before exhaling. It's a little comfort, at least.

The call to begin shatters any calm it pulls over you just as quickly as it arrives though, the stage a hive of activity as everyone finds their places. For a long moment, no one moves and nothing plays, the tense, still seconds ticking by at an excruciating pace-

And then the music starts.

And then you dance.

And then you sing, loud and clear and bright - and steady, even with the complex movement of your body and the increasing cry of your chest for air. 

The finale rises and culminates with Felix's voice, standing at the end of the line behind you. You feel his weight bump against you as he shifts on his feet, hear the moment of silence and then the renewed cheer of the crowd when his ending fairy comes up on the screens. You can't see when it ends, so you count to five before you turn, ducking out of the line as requested and immediately finding the red light of the camera that was told to be waiting for you. Finger hearts, Felix had suggested backstage and Hyunjin had agreed, and so that is what you give them, angled just so by your cheek and the giddy smile that had been pulling on your lips before the music was even finished.

The stage goes silent, the few scattered beginnings of applause quickly throttled by the hands that remain in their laps. The seconds tick by at a glacial pace, the smile threatening to slip from your face. You glue it there with all the fire that remains in your veins.

You could swear the camera lingers, just to drink in your pain. Logically, you know it is the same time as Felix had. Somehow, the thought isn't comforting.

Finally, that lense clicks off and the boys move around you, giving the crowd something else to hawk and squeal at. Something they really want to see, you allow yourself to think acerbically, and carefully avoid looking any of them in the eye as you do your forced, casual wander off the stage. It is hard enough to achieve in your own bubble, to resist that urge to run, let alone if you catch anything like sympathy on their faces.

The first one below, you take one look at the playback monitor and excuse yourself to the staff, fleeing towards the bathrooms. You're dimly aware of footsteps behind you and the sound of your name, but they do not process and your feet won't stop - not until the heavy door slams shut behind you and the propel of your walk carries you in sight of the mirror over the sinks-

Beautiful, you'd dared to think earlier, staring vindictively at just the same image that looks back at you now. The careful fit of the navy shirt, the short skirt flattering the length and lines of your legs, the layered bangles and the diamonds that glitter around your neck...perfectly crafted to slip right in amongst the silk and patterns of the boys - and not unlike Midnight's dark queen concept either, the concept you hadn't had the right look for. You'd even liked your face, and the unearthly glow they'd painted into your cheeks, the perfect frame of your dark hair-

But something had displeased that crowd. Whether the look, or the dancing, or stupid, stubborn pettiness over girlish crushes - or all of it put together. It took a lot to silence an entire crowd. You knew that - you'd seen one refuse to be silenced before, but never nominally refuse to cheer. Never pass the sentiment around and come to an absolute mutual agreement.

It's a talent, to be able to do that by yourself, you think as you stare into your own eyes in the mirror; and you don't have it in you to deny the rush of feelings that wells in your chest this time, or the hot prick of tears in your eyes. Your thoughts are swept off in the storm, the questions clamouring, crying, begging for one answer; why, why, why, why. Why do they hate you, why are they so mean about it, why didn't you just go home? Why did you ever come to this country in the first place? Why id you think you were good enough to be worth their love?

A soft knock on the door precedes the tentative entry of an assistant; one of the girls from JYP that always travels with you on schedules. You know her name, but you should know her better; instead, you've just been keeping to yourself. Another point of failure, probably.

"Y/N?" she says, daring to put one foot through the door as you blink and nod in acknowledgement. "Sorry - we need to start heading back now. You can have another moment - if you need-"

"I'm coming," you hurry to say; and it is shame that colours your cheeks and gives you the strength again to swallow it down like a hard stone. The tears burn as you blink them away, as you stare at the mirror and decide that no more will fall except for the traitorous three that have already escaped. You'll have to go back on that stage - you won't go red-eyed and puffy, won't give them that satisfaction.

You'll have to do that ending again too, though. Weather that storm a second time. Well, you'll just have to make sure this take is perfect, and then no one will ask for a third. You'll be able to go home and hide.

Your moment is up. You know that, and so you turn yourself away from the mirror, to the girl that waits. She willingly averts her eyes as she steps out, holding the door for you until you grip the edge of it with your own hand and follow her.

Chan is waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall and staring at nothing as he waits. There's a dark anger in his eyes when he turns, but it isn't for you - no, the tissue box in his hand is for you, offered like a bridge that spans the gap between you. 

Warily, you draw one and turn aside to dab at your eyes and try to cool the burn in your cheeks. You want to cringe away from yourself and hide in the bathroom again, to put off facing him until he goes away - but if you do that, he'll know you're hiding, and the hovering assistant will bear the blame of not bringing you back, and those fans will think they know why it's taking so long-

Stupid. They already know that they've won. Chan can see you crying. There's no one left to make a fool of except yourself.

"Are you alright?" Chan asks - and just like you thought, there is none of that anger in the gentle voice that asks.

"It's fine," you answer, biting at your tongue agains the tears that threaten to stir anew. "Sorry. I just needed - a moment. I'm ready to go again."

"Take another moment," he tells you.

"I'd rather go," you say, and it comes out harsher than you mean it to - but it is only the tears that you are fighting, that horrible, gut-wrenching wave of emotion that wants to wash over you. "I'm fine. Really."

The tissue crushes in your palm. You wonder if the sceptical look he gives you is because of the makeup you've surely smudged, or if he just doesn't believe you. "Are you sure?" he asks, and you steel yourself as you breathe in.

"I will be if we don't talk about it," you tell him tightly, and then you take the lead before he can disagree. He falls into step willingly anyway, thoughtful or maybe brooding as you weave your way back to the stage.

"We're not doing the endings again," he tells you as you approach, right as the flock of makeup artists engulf you. Like they knew you'd be crying, you think acerbically, and then banish the thought before it can unbalance you again.

"Were there any notes for me?" you ask as a brush dusts your cheek. The dancing; that's the only thing you need to focus on. The performance. Do it perfectly, and you can escape. Subconsciously, you fingers find the ring, twisting it around and around.

"Not for you," Chan says. "Just try to enjoy it again, yeah?"

Several choice comments come to mind as you gaze at him, each one as dry and hurt as the last, but a look at the occupants of the room stills your tongue. Assistants and stylists and employees of the show - people that you shouldn't be caught speaking ill of fans or members in front of. You've read your contracts and the company ethics, seen the bill for your training attached to your name. You know how far fans and a good public image takes even the most insidious people.

"I'll try," you promise instead, firmly holding your tongue to your principals. No point complaining about hardships anyway. This isn't an industry that takes pity on those who are too weak to survive it.

Even so, the answer seems vapid and contrived the moment it spills out of your mouth. Chan doesn't have time to contest it; the others are already returning to the stage to entertain that undeserving crowd, and so you must follow too, side by side in silence. His microphone passes restlessly from hand to hand, even when you step on stage and his brow smoothes out. You wonder how long that rage will simmer beneath his skin.

Until he can do something about it, a little voice whispers to you with a thrill, watching his receding back.

The stage sweeps you away after that, Chan disappearing into the midst of the others with just one last glance over his shoulder to make sure that you're following. Seungmin replaces him, appearing unobtrusively in your shadow as Felix slings an arm back around your shoulders and bats his hand away from messing with your hair. They flank you until you drift into your position, and then the stage goes quiet so that the music can start again. 

The dance flies by; chorus, verse, bridge, dance break. The fans cheer and chant along as dutifully as they had the first time, but the sound resonates hollow in your chest this time, the faces that you give the camera manufactured rather than brought on by the music. It's hard to forget, now that you know the truth, that those cheers aren't for you; only the boys that surround you, their bodies moving in unison with yours. Part of them, and yet set apart. 

You'd come six years ago expecting to be the jewel in that kind of crown, you think. This crowd has made you the flaw, ugly and unmistakably out of place.

It's a relief when the song ends and you can let go, your shoulders slumping and your chin dropping to your chest as you stare at the floor and try to breathe. A hundred emotions sweep by you, there and then swallowed again by the storm that churns in your stomach; you flinch away from the crowd's laughter at something Han does, and then laugh when Changbin's face appears upside-down in your field of vision, his body contorted strangely in an effort to meet your eyes. There's still something hiding in Chan's eyes and Felix is openly angry, but Minho gives nothing away in the nod he gives you as he passes by. Changbin talks about what to get for dinner on the way back down the stairs, but the words just wash over you; you're not hungry anyway, after all of this, just hollow and restless and tired.

Your third filming trudges by much the same, correcting a small mistake by Han in the pursuit of perfection. The boy looks apologetic as he passes you by, but it's not him or the dancing that you resent. It's just a thing you have to do, until all nine of you are pleased, until you can finally leave that stage and draw the hoodie you'd worn here on a very different kind of morning back over your head and climb into a car to go home.

You don't win any awards. The boys hide their disappointment, but you know it is there. You know, too, where the fan vote went and why that trophy was stolen away from them. 

You're not really sure what anyone expects you to do about it.

---

TAGLIST

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@keepswingin

[kei-ann8]

DAZZLING STARLET (Stanley Snyder x Reader)

CHAPTER 1: IN HINDSIGHT

''It's not part of the job description.''

She wasn't supposed to be part of the crew, more like Ryusui just happened to cross paths with her statue back at the Ishigami Village. 

The stone were covered with moss, has a few cracks here and there which is not a problem since there wasn't any missing limbs that won't be able to be glued back together. After they had arrived back to the village from their treasure island travel, they set their eyes on reviving [name] along with Tsukasa. 

Though hers and Ryusui's reunion were quite expected, she didn't imagined that her revival was marked with a travel to North America. 

''You're serious about this?'' [name] asked them, her eyes darting around the room as she was filled in with all the details that she had missed prior to her revival, ''I-I mean... you managed to do all of these...but reviving the world?'' 

It wasn't an ideal situation, to play a role of a savior in a stone world along with the petrification device in their disposal, [name] knew that this won't end well. 

And now, they're telling her about their plans which involves travelling all the way to America for a chance to see if the potential Ground Zero, the source, and all the possible solutions would be found there. Although the group is quite diverse in terms of knowledge and specialty, [name] could see that they lack a lot of things, especially when it comes to weapons. 

''No guns?''

''Nope. Limited ammo.'' Senku responded nonchalantly. 

''Alright.'' [name] said dejectedly, letting out a sigh as she began to assess over everyone else on the deck. 

The rest of the crew are taking their time to rest and unwind from today's work, some of them are drinking, others are simply eating their food, and some are training. To her, they looked like a bunch of young adults who had so much free time in the world and decided to spin the globe and it landed on America which they concluded as their next destination. 

As she took a sip of her drink, [name]'s eyes landed on her star shaped marks on her arm. From what Senku had explained, the marks are from the petrification and was likely weathered down over the years. 

[name] doesn't like it. Not one bit. 

There are various marks all over her body, some small while others are visible from afar. From her right arm, the back of her neck, her legs, and even underneath her eyes, it meant that she would be an easy target due to how distinct their patterns are. 

Ever since she woke up, those around her openly expressed how rare it was to acquire those marks, as they barely have any on their body. [name] sees it as flaws even though it added to her looks, but not like she could do anything about it. 

''I'll join...'' [name] said to Senku, who looked genuinely glad that she finally made a decision halfway through the trip, ''However, you do realize that I'm from America right?'' 

The scientist let out a chuckle at her words, ''Don't worry. Ryusui had told us about it.'' Senku said, his eyes glancing on the blonde man as he opened up the casino for the night, ''He won't stop yapping about -'' 

''That's not what I'm concerned about.'' She said to him, ''I want you to know that I will be taking this as a job, not just me voluntarily joining your group.'' 

Senku could only hum in response, not fully grasping her words. There were no records of her existence back in the modern world and in Japan, Ryusui and Francois are the only ones who seemed to know her very well. As the scientist looked at her more closely, if he had crossed paths with her back in the modern world, he would surely remember her face. 

With stories that Ryusui had told them, it reflected that [name] has a very curated life ever since she could remember. A very close confidant of the Nanami Conglomerate, but not well known enough to be recognized as one of their daughters. Still, she let the main family be on the spotlight while she simply lived her life away from it, and fleeing to America is a way for her to break free from everything else. But that wasn't enough. 

The family have various connections all over the world and [name] would still be on their radar unless she do something about it. If there's one thing the family hated the most, is involving themselves in politics and the government. Not because they didn't like how things are being run but rather it affects their business as a whole. Therefore, she joined the military once she turned eighteen and had been part of it ever since. 

''I may or may not encounter some folks once we arrive.'' [name] said, her voice soft as the scientist listened to every word she said. She was calm, as usual, eerily calm for someone who seemed to know what awaits them in the foreign lands, ''But I won't betray you if that's what you're worried about.'' 

.

.

.

Weeks had passed and [name] had fallen into a routine along with the rest of the warrior group. They immediately began their training as a form of preparation of what may happen once they arrived in America, and also to teach them new skills that may be useful later on. The voyage wasn't easy as it require a lot of manpower due to limited time frame and rushing to arrive just in time for the harvesting of corn that Senku is after. 

In the training room on the 2nd floor below the deck, Ginro couldn't help but hide away in a secluded place as Tsukasa and the others began sparring with each other. [name] had been watching him for a while but she didn't say anything since he wouldn't listen to anyone but Matsukaze and his brother, Kinro. Instead, her focus are on Kirisame and Kohaku, who she admit is far more advance in terms of fighting skills, especially in their generation. 

Their entire schedule consists of training sessions and those who came from the modern world had taught them how to read and write Japanese, which won't be easy for those who never learned formal language throughout their life. Although the villagers speaks Japanese, the likelihood that they know how to write in that language is slim to none. Since their main mode of passing knowledge from one generation to another is through word of mouth, there are no written records or any kind of basis on what they know. 

Still, they tried to learn the terminologies used in the modern society as well as pick up a few English words here and there which could be useful somehow, [name] hopes so. 

As she hangs out with Homura at the upper deck, they were looking for signs that land may be near when she looked up and saw the pink haired girl signaled that she had seen something through the scopes. And just like she suspected, they are now nearing America. 

"It's been so long...too long." Ginro said while tearing up then cheered along with others.

"Land for our feet! And our bellies want meat!"

"Ha ha.... Of course." Ukyo said watching them from afar, chuckling as he sees them prancing around and celebrating, "We couldn't consume much meat on our long sea voyage."

"Hm. And with all our training, the battle team has been really craving animal based protein." Tsukasa continued while Kirisame visibly drooled on the idea of eating meat since all they had been eating is either seafood or desserts.

"Oh duh. We can probably hunt wild animal on dry land!" Taiju said, more like yelled, "What sorta beasts live in this continent?!"

'I got one in mind..... And he certainly live up to the name.' [name] thought to herself as everyone seemed unaware on what kind of danger awaits them.

"I wouldn't know since this is my first overseas vacay. Wa ha ha! Never thought my first time outta Japan would be like this."

"Vacay? Really?" Minami asks.

"Heh heh heh. Jokes like that are part of this peabrain's charm." The white and green haired scientist said.

"Look, past the fog." Homura said gaining their attention.

There are mountains of statues and some had already become one with nature. [name] noticed the silence that soon followed afterwards upon seeing the reality of the circumstances that they live in. Among all the petrified statues residing here on Earth, only a few had managed to be freed from that state.

But not everyone else was fortunate enough for that. Nature is neither an enemy or an ally and being turned into stone, being eroded away is a slow and sure way to die without having the consciousness of being alive.

"Come on people... We knew as much already." The mentalist said. "But I suppose, this is the first time we've ventured outside of Japan we have no way of really knowing what had become of the world. There was still a chance that our impostor Lillian's story could have been somehow rue-tay.'' Gen knew that the little white lie he had once told to everyone could have a chance of becoming true. But reality was quick to diminish that idea, ''That Japan was still petrified while the rest of the world had already been revived or even some countries had somehow beaten the petri-beam to begin with! Somewhere in our hearts... We we're holding on to hope! However faint it might have been."

Sensing the sudden change of mood from everyone, [name] quickly pinched Gen's side who shrieked from the pain. He looked at her silently asking what was she thinking but only gotten a glare from her.

"Read the atmosphere you dimwit. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to keep things within the boundary of reality but they just got depressed! You're a mentalist for god's sake! Next time this happen I'll-" [name]'s ranting was cut off by Kohaku, who spotted something.

"That cape jutting out.. I see a bunch of statues clumped together."

Gen mentally thank the blonde warrior for saving his ass and also for changing the topic of the conversation.

"You're right. But why?"

The question was answered by Senku easily, "Must've been a series of car crashes. A huge pileup. Then the cars eroded over time... leaving only the petrified drivers."

"But why were the cars under the water?" Yo asked.

"There must have been loads of cars around here. I passed by my own boat a few thousand years back." Ryusui said, remembering the time he had traveled here.

It's once marked the gateway to the Pacific. Cutting through San Francisco's fog with it's red brilliance. The Golden Gate Bridge.

"Right..." Yuzuriha muttered, "It's all gone now, though. Everything humanity have ever made."

"Deep down, we kinda thought that...this was our last chance for finding help."

"Don't look at it that way, guys!" Taiju yelled. "Once we find some corn and starting growing it...we can totally revive everyone in the world with the power of science!"

"Yeah." Senku said with hands on his hips. "We're gonna save 'em all. All 7.8 billion members of humanity."

.

.

"We're gonna scour the land till our feet hurt real baaad... To find that corn!" Chrome said inside the lab.

"It'll be ifficult-day. The U.S. is absurdly vast." Gen said worriedly.

"We were always taking a gamble on finding any corn at all." Senku said while staring at the map. "But one spot near here could be the corn belt we're looking for. Since we arrived on the west coast, it had to be Northern California, enter San Francisco Bay and follow the sacramento river to where it used to be sacramento....."

"Slow down please, we don't all have encyclopedic knowledge of american geography." Gen said as he didn't understood one single thing that Senku had just explained.

"You mean we gotta follow this river to find corn? Why didn't ya say so?!" Chrome yelled.

"You're always ready to dive in and adapt, dear Chrome. The ideal search team leader...."

"It's nearly the time of the year where the corn will wither. I wonder if we make it on time." Ukyo said out loud.

"Yeah. That's the issue. But the earth experience called precession. Kinda like how a toy top starts titling as it spins. And the planet's rotational axis has tilted a little over three thousand and seven hundred years... It affected the Earth's climate in a way that will help us since the season is changing nine days later now."

"Oohhh."

"And extended deadline! Nice!"

"The downside is that climate change is gonna affect the ecosystem in weird ways. Let's just hope that no beasts decides to attack us."

"Actually, we would welcome a beast attack." Tsukasa said bluntly.

"Yeah." Kohaku said in agreement.

"Mhm..wait-what?"

Gen was looking at the window and saw a very familiar looking animal in the waters.

"Speak of the devil..as always, dear Senku. I should have ealized-ray. " The mentalist took a deep breath and continued. "It's not merely you have bad luck, you have none to speak of! You use your scientific mind to concoct the worst-case scenario and as soon as you utter it..."

The battle team appeared out of nowhere with serious expression on their faces, until they saw the alligators.

"Meat! Meat! Meat!" Kohaku and Yo chanted.

"So that's what they meant...about welcoming an attack." Ginro said finally understanding what they had stated earlier.

"Yes, I'm grateful for the circle of life." Tsukasa said with a blank expression on his face.

"How.... antastic-fay."

[name] stayed behind and let them handle the alligators by themselves. Her senses are telling her that she should, and she did just that. So far, nothing is wrong. It was calm before a storm, she mused. Everything seemed to be going according to plan. Senku has now found the corn he had been searching for and the land they've covered barely have enough evidence that there's a group of people residing in this continent.

"Now that we've stepped foot on the American soil... there's one thing we definitely need to eat!" Ryusui said, snapping his fingers.

Francois cooked the alligator meat while [name] serves them the burgers. Everyone had gathered around the campfire as they took a quick break. Things had been going well

"Senku." Tsukasa suddenly called, showing him what looks like the gut of the animal. "The alligator swallowed this whole."

The scientist caught it in his hands, "An ear of the corn? And just the special American variety we're after."

[name] saw what he was holding and muttered, "Corn City is where we're going?"

He nodded before handing her what Tsukasa had thrown at him, "Yes. We need these for the production of alcohol. The key ingredient for revival fluid."

.

.

.

"We've only made camp dear Senku. And you're putting white cloth over a light?" Gen questions as the scientist continued his work.

"Wouldn't shining a bright light at night just attracts bugs?" Taiju asks.

"That's the point. And if my guess are right..." Senku trailed off as he saw what kind of moths he caught. "The European corn border moth subsists mostly on corn. Which means there's a ton of corns nearby!"

"A butterfly? How pretty." Kohaku muttered, staring at it. Insects isn't something she really paid attention to but she can't deny that what she's seeing right now is really pretty.

"A moth, actually." Senku answered nonchalantly, but then realized that Kohaku had mistook moths as butterflies. "Kohaku...and the rest of you villagers. Have you guys ever seen this type of moth before?"

"Hah! Come to think of it, no. Never. But I don't really pay attention to different types of moths." Kohaku replied with her arms crossed on her chest.

"These things love to snack on grains so...when humanity went extinct you'd expect this moth's population to take a serious hit." He looked at the moths dancing around the light, which is the opposite of what he expected this to be, "But look how many have gathered in less than no time. Seems way too many right? Enough to make one wonder if someone out there is growing a cornfield."

Taiju looked at the two scientists who have this troubled expression on their faces, "Wa! Ha! Ha! What's got you looking so gloomy!? I mean, we've got a whole heap of people to revive so finding out cornfield sounds like good news to me!"

[name] could only wish she have Taiju's carefree attitude and being optimistic about dire situations like this. Francois is busy tending to everyone else and Ryusui is also busy doing something else.

Standing right beside Tsukasa who is near the river, looking outwards to the forest filled with large and tall trees. The terrain isn't any different than what it was like back in Japan yet the two of them couldn't deny that they have a disadvantage here. They've just arrive and if there's indeed an enemy after them, their sole advantage would be the environment. Tsukasa noticed [name] clutching her sword and gazing at the distance. He couldn't see anything in the darkness nor hear anything beyond like Ukyo or her, but he could tell that they're not alone in this place. And the presence on the woods is more than enough reason for him to be on high alert. 

"I sense, bloodlust." Tsukasa said as he stare deep into the woods, trying to see if someone's is lurking nearby but to no avail due to the darkness of the night.

"Is it some sort of wild beast?" Kohaku asked as she held her sword tightly.

"But with the ultimate battle squad here, there's nothing to fear!" Ginro stated, smugness laced in his voice as his elder brother is having none of it.

"Says the one hiding behind me."

"Yes I am very familiar with that sort of ki." Matsukaze added on.

"Ki? There's no such thing." Tsukasa stated. "I believe this odor comes from the breakdown of the adrenaline but I'm not sure of it."

The brown haired man need to protect the people he is with right now. 'What's that faint scent on the wind?' Tsukasa thought. 'Smoke? From the gun that had been fired?'

[name] turned to see where Ryusui is and quickly ran to his side. There wasn't any malice directed at any of them, but rather, it is focused on the whole team. ''He's targeting us.'' She said, staying close to where he is, ''Let's leave.''

Hyoga heard what [name] had said and then soon realize that everything was way too suspicious. They found corn floating down the river and it ended here, near the forest. "The enemy had done well." Hyoga said. "Seems like we were the one who got lured in."

With that Tsukasa yelled to alert everyone, "To the boat now! Take cover!"

Right then and there, they are being rained by bullets and at the same time, they tried to avoid it. [name] reflected them easily with her sword and ensured Ryusui and the rest are alright. Senku barely got in the lab and protect himself with the carbon shield, while the woman was grabbed by Hyoga into the lab.

As they made their escape down the river, [name] was certain that she saw the lower half of the person's face, and they were smoking a cigarette and smirking. They are waiting, she thought to herself as they fled the forest and went back to the Perseus. 

Once they arrived back at the ship, [name] was still trying to rack her mind on where she swore she saw that face before. Even though she only caught a glimpse of half of their face, she was certain that she saw is somewhere. 

The entire night was eerily familiar. This very place. She doesn't know if she should run or flee or stay. For a moment, the group saw [name] froze for a split second before we went and protected them.

''Do you know them?'' Hyoga asked curiously, as they made their back to the ship to come up with another plan.

''No.'' Was all [name] said as she thank Hyoga for what she did earlier and stayed silent throughout the trip.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Link for the first chapter in wattpad: Dazzling Starlet (Stanley Snyder x Reader) - CHAPTER 01 (on Wattpad)

https://www.wattpad.com/1511609067-dazzling-starlet-stanley-snyder-x-reader-chapterutm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=_snowpiercer_ - Dr Stone Fanfiction - Follows the main storyline

https://www.wattpad.com/1511609067-dazzling-starlet-stanley-snyder-x-reader-chapter

[ribbonedreverie]

Dazai or Chuuya x a reader who doesn't fully understand what humanity is or why it's important.

They know their lack of humanity was used as an excuse to justify hurting them in the past. They know that their friend feels great distress at the thought he isn't human.

But Reader doesn't understand it at all, and that lack of connection frustrates them morethananythingelse. They know he's hurting, but they themselves don't feel any pain at the thought of not being human.

They don't know how to help or make him feel better, and that thought is more distressing than the idea that anything could be wrong about their existence.

“What Does It Mean to Be Human?”

Dazai x Reader | Tragic Romance, Emotional Angst, & Quiet Helplessness

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The room is dimly lit, the dying glow of the city outside casting pale streaks of neon blue across the floor. The clock ticks in the corner, but neither of you have spoken in so long that the silence has begun to hum—something heavy, something restless, something waiting to be broken.

Dazai is stretched out on the couch, one arm lazily draped over his eyes, his body curved into the shape of something that doesn’t quite fit. He shifts slightly, letting out a slow breath, and the light from the streetlamp catches on the sharp edges of his jaw, illuminating the soft furrow of his brow—a tell, a crack in the performance.

You sit nearby, perched on the windowsill, where the cold glass presses against your back. Distance is usually comfortable. Tonight, it feels unbearable.

“Humanity is a cruel joke, don’t you think?”

His voice is light, careless, like an afterthought. But the words are heavier than they should be.

You don’t answer. You don’t know how to.

Dazai talks about humanity the way one speaks of a past lover—wistful, longing, resentful. Like something he once touched and lost forever. Like something he could never quite become.

His fingers twitch where they rest on his stomach, as if grasping for something invisible. As if he is testing whether or not he can still feel at all.

“I don’t want to be human,” he says.

His head tilts toward you, dark eyes catching yours in the half-light. There’s a curve to his lips—an easy, practiced thing—but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

You watch him, trying to pick apart the shape of his sadness, to find where it begins and where it ends, if it ever does.

And yet, you—you do not understand his grief.

And that—that destroys you.

Not because you care whether you are human. Not because you have ever longed for the thing he so desperately chases. But because he is hurting. And you do not know how to make it stop.

If you were missing something, if you were broken in some way, it had never mattered to you. You had never needed to belong, never needed validation, never needed a name for whatever you were.

But Dazai does.

Dazai aches for something you cannot give him, something you do not even have the words to define.

And that realization—that helplessness, that failure—makes your chest feel unbearably tight.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” His voice is softer now, curling like smoke through the empty space between you. “The idea that you might not be human?”

You open your mouth, then close it.

What are you supposed to say? What answer does he want from you?

No, it doesn’t scare you.

No, you don’t care.

No, you don’t understand.

But you understand this—the way his voice is quieter than before, the way he isn’t looking at you now, as if already bracing for an answer that will disappoint him.

And you—you have disappointed him, haven’t you?

Not in the way that makes people angry, not in the way that breaks things, but in the way that makes something wilt, something small and fragile and unspoken.

“I don’t know,” you finally admit, voice quieter than you mean it to be.

Because you don’t.

Because you have never felt the grief that lives inside him. You do not understand it, do not know what it feels like to want something so desperately that you cannot exist without it.

Because you have never mourned what you never had.

And for the first time since he started talking, Dazai looks at you like he is truly seeing you.

His smile doesn’t waver, but something in his expression shifts. The playfulness fades, just slightly. His gaze lingers.

“Of course you don’t,” he murmurs.

There is no malice in his words, no mockery—just understanding.

And that, somehow, makes it worse.

Because if he understands—if he knew all along that you could never reach him—then what are you supposed to do?

How are you supposed to help someone when you don’t even know what they’ve lost?

How do you comfort a grief you cannot comprehend?

How do you save someone you can’t even hold onto?

You feel like you’re unraveling. Not because of the question, not because of the weight of humanity, but because you have never wanted so badly to understand something in your life.

And you can’t.

And that—that failure is worse than any label, any word, any accusation that has ever been thrown at you.

So you do the only thing you can think to do. You close the space between you.

You move slowly, as if afraid he might disappear the moment you get too close. One step. Then another.

He does not stop you.

Your hands hover at his wrists before you let them press lightly over the curve of his pulse. You feel it—steady, warm, fragile. You don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t know what you’re trying to say.

But Dazai does.

His fingers twitch under yours. Then, slowly, he moves—turning his palm upward, letting his fingertips barely brush against your own. It is not a grasp. Not a pull. Just a touch—a fleeting moment of contact before it can slip away.

You do not know what he wants. You do not know how to give it to him.

But you can give him this.

You can let him trace the outline of your hand, let him feel the warmth of something real, something solid, something that does not slip between his fingers like everything else.

And when he sighs—soft, tired, something dangerously close to fragile—you feel it in your own bones.

“You always do that,” he murmurs.

“Do what?”

“Try to save things you don’t even understand.”

His voice is barely above a whisper. His fingers curl, just slightly, against yours.

And you wonder—not for the first time—if Dazai is the one slipping through your grasp, or if you are the one slipping through his.

Either way, you are not sure you will ever catch him.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

This request was truly thought-provoking—one that lingered long after I first read it. I’m grateful I had the time to fully immerse myself in writing it, letting every word settle where it belonged.

I chose Dazai for this piece because his grief is endless—something beyond words, beyond comprehension. His longing for humanity, his detachment from it, his quiet mourning of something he can never quite grasp… it made him my favorite choice.

This is romantic, but in a way that hurts. Because love, here, is not a solution—just another thing they cannot understand, another thing always just out of reach.

Thank you for making this my first request. It was a joy to explore, and I’d love to write more should you ever wish to send another. ♡

[inkieflame]

do martyn and ren have any sort of relationship in your au (platonic or otherwise)? what are they most often rented out for?

Trigger warning: drugs and other mind-altering conditions

That's not a simple question (it never is with those two, is it?)

I was gonna save some of the Ren lore for later, but y'all can have a teaser now I guess. Just for you, anon ^^

(edit: it was not just a teaser. I wrote a lot. Oops.)

Yes, there is something happening between Ren and Martyn. They really want to be together (platonic? Romantic? Who knows) they want it more than anything, but it's difficult. Aside from their obvious lack of communication skills, Martyn just... isn't in the lab very often. He's one of the more popular subjects for renting. And then, of course, Ren has his own problems.

Martyn was one of the very first subjects. He remembers when Grian would laugh. He remembers when Taurtis and Netty were still around (no one knows exactly where all those subjects went...) It took him a while to get over Netty leaving, they had been married before they were both captured and brought to the lab, so grieving her was difficult for Martyn.

But then, one day, there is a new batch of subjects, Ren among them. He was so... Outgoing. So starry-eyed. So certain that this facility couldn't keep them down. They would escape! They had to!

And Martyn had missed this kind of light in his life. It has been so sad. Grian had been silent for months, no laughter to be heard. Jimmy was always limping and injured.

Ren was so bright, so warm, he was the sun. And Martyn had such an adoration for the sun.

But Ren doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. His talk of escape made him a threat, and the Watchers hadn't decided how they would torment him yet. But now they felt pressured to decide fast.

First Ren was drugged. Drugged until his brain was mushy and malleable. And then the Watchers decided it would be amusing to make their new dog hybrid believe he was a real dog. Make him bark, teach him tricks, have him eat from a bowl.

Maybe someone would find their new puppy entertaining enough to rent, but if not, Ren would still be useful. Ren would be an example. This is what happens to subjects who try to escape. Your thoughts melt, you are reduced to a play-thing, an animal.

No one has spoken of escape in a long time.

Not where the Watchers can hear at least.

Ren gets his own play space, his own food, and a room away from the others. Puppies don't sleep in human beds, and they certainly don't eat human food. But the other subjects can visit him.

Martyn is there. Martyn is always there. He tries to break the conditioning, he tries again and again to get Ren to answer him. But Ren's only response is to beg for pets.

Martyn despairs.

But the world keeps going, and Martyn still has to work. He gets rented often, and it's an easy distraction for him. Don't think about Ren. Don't think about the sun. You know your despair only fuels those Watchers.

Martyn is rented for many things, but mostly parties. He's a skilled bartender, multitalented in tricks and shows. He's one of the few subjects who is allowed multiple outfits, most of them too skimpy for his taste. Sometimes he's rented as a waiter, a dancer, or an escort. Once he was rented for a children's birthday party.

Sometimes he is rented by a masked man who calls himself a Listener. He makes Martyn promise not to tell the Watchers about who he is, and then tells Martyn various bits of information. Sometimes it's the lab layout (to help in an escape attempt) or sometimes they give him medicine to reverse the effects of the drugs some of the other subjects are on. Depends on the day. The Listener doesn't rent often.

And Ren has a few renters too, but much less frequent than Martyn. People are curious. Most of Ren's renters currently are repeat renters, who want to see him again. It's not a bad life for him. Simple, comfortable, lots of attention.

It's not like he can think straight enough to be bothered by it anyway.

He can only think well enough to remember Martyn, the one who always visits him and pets him. He misses Martyn's often.

So... Yes. There is something between them. It's complicated.

I'll probably expand on this more later...

[seven-vi]

"Jinx was a better big sister"

This is a take I saw often in fandom after season 2 came out. There were..A couple of bad takes that circulated after the show ended, but this one irked me the most

Vi was a child parenting another child. I don't think Vander was a bad parent, good as one can be in their situation, but him being there didn't stop that dynamic from happening. Could be seen as (Intentionally or not) Encouraging that in pushing her as the "leader" of their group

Vi watched her, kept her safe, defended her both physically and verbally. She was her main support. She stopped being just her sister once their parents died, and for a child, she did pretty good. Did she shove her sister? Yes. Is it the best? No, but again, siblings. As good as a relationshipyou get with one, it's still bound to happen. You're stuck in the same space with one person. If she'd been physically abusive, Powder wouldn't act like that with her. She doesn't let Powder in on dangerous shit for good reason. It's not some belief that she is in fact a jinx, but that she's got so little family left. Despite Powder wanting to help, she's not capable. She's a malnourished preteen, of course she can't keep up. That's not a bad thing! Taking her would put them all in more danger and that's not a point against Powder

The only real big thing is when Vi punches her sister. Again, not great, but I don't blame her

Vi just lost everything. Brutally. Her future is unsure. And the sister she told to stay home comes running up, telling her she's the one who just blew up their last bit of family. In that moment she's not acting like a parent. Powder is not her child, that is her little shit sister, who did not fucking listen, and fucked up everything! No it's not mature to call her a jinx or hit her, but Vi isn't mature. She's 15. She stops as soon as she realizes and makes herself go calm down

To Powder, this is her last living parental figure leaving her for fucking up again. But she didn't leave. She was going to come back (And likely get killed) Before she was sent to prison. She then spent her entire time in and out of prison trying to get her sister back

Hell, I don't blame her for hitting Isha. She was (Not lethally) Fighting with her sister, and something has just jumped on her and bit her. The motion her arm makes isn't even a punch, she's moving her arm back to try and knock an attacker off. The whole move screams "Trying to remove an someone without actually having to use real force or two hands to pry them off." It's not a move that would often end in blood. And yet again, is horrified that it happened. I know why it happened in narrative, but that moment is not Vi realizing Jinx is better at being a sister. This seeing something so similar to past guilt and all of those feelings are rushing back. Vi thinks she's terrible. Jinx likely counts it as a point against her. But!! It's not. The whole thing was an accident and a culmination of everyone's actions up until that point

Was Jinx a good sister? Yes. And also no

She actively endagers Isha. She shoots people infront of a child. Her hideout is better then it had been with just Jinx, but it's still not safe. Objectively not great. But also!! To Jinx, this is involving Isha. Making sure she doesn't feel abandoned. Protecting her. She is pretty great in playing with her, caring for her etc. The big difference though? Isha is younger, and Jinx is an adult

I think the whole point was that neither of then were perfect at it because of their situations/Lives and how they reacted. Vi was a child attempting to parent another child. Her biggest concern was keeping Powder safe. Jinx had a more childlike approach, but she is still young, and Isha was younger then Powder. Her biggest concern was making sure Isha never felt abandoned. It's meant to be a contrast. The only reason Jinx parents the way she did is because of her relationship with Vi. She wanted to do what Vi hadn't, and in return, missed things that Vi did do for good reason. I think the whole thing probably gave Jinx a better understanding of her own sister, rather then a "Well this proves Silco right"

This is decently long and I feel I may be missing a few points, but I'm gonna wrap it up here. They weren't entirely good big sisters, but that doesn't make them bad. They did the best they could with what they were. Vi especially. As good or bad as the actions may be it makes sense for a 15 year old, and I really don't understand the slander

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

A race for love p.21

Hii guyss, I hope you enjoy this part. If you've missed part 20 or the other parts you can find them on my masterlist :)

Formula 1 is all about speed, but in this story, the real race isn't just on the track. Read on to find out who will win the ultimate race-for your heart

- Monza 2023 -

The race day unfolds in a blur of excitement, tension, and noise. You spend most of it in the McLaren motorhome, surrounded by the buzz of engineers, strategists, and mechanics. Lando and Oscar pass through occasionally, their moods fluctuating with the highs and lows of the day. You manage to laugh at their banter, but your mind keeps circling back to the message. Every time your phone vibrates, your heart skips a beat, half-expecting another cryptic text.

The hours drag on, and though you try to immerse yourself in the race, it's impossible to ignore the weight sitting heavily on your chest. The noise of the paddock fades into the background as you replay the events of the past two days—the call, the voice, the message. They're all connected. They have to be. And you're certain Franco knows something.

By the time the race is over and the motorhome starts to clear out, you know you can't avoid confronting him any longer. You leave the McLaren motorhome, weaving through the bustling paddock with determination. The evening air is cooler now, carrying with it the scent of tires and fuel. It does little to calm your nerves.

When you reach your hotel room, your hand hesitates on the doorknob. You take a deep breath and step inside, not sure what you'll find.

Franco is there, lounging on the bed like nothing is wrong. He's scrolling through his phone, his hair still slightly damp from a shower. When he sees you, his face lights up with a smile, but you can't return it.

"We need to talk," you say, closing the door behind you.

His smile falters as he sits up, the casualness in his demeanor fading. "What's wrong?"

You cross the room, setting your phone down on the desk before turning to face him. "It's about the messages. The ones I got before and I got a new one today. They're all connected, Franco. And I think they're tied to the call from last night."

His expression shifts, and for a moment, he looks away, as though searching for something in the air around him. "It's nothing, cariño," he says softly, standing to approach you. "You're worrying too much. Let's just forget about it—"

"No." Your voice is firmer than you expected, cutting him off. "I can't forget about it. Not when someone's texting me warnings, calling you in the middle of the night, and leaving threats. Franco, I need to know what's going on."

He hesitates, his hand reaching for yours, but you pull back, frustration bubbling beneath your calm exterior. "Please, don't try to brush this off. I deserve the truth."

Franco sighs, running a hand through his hair as he steps back. His face softens, and his shoulders slump slightly, as though he's carrying a weight he's been avoiding for far too long. "I didn't want to tell you because it's in the past," he starts quietly, his voice tinged with guilt. "I didn't think it mattered anymore. I didn't want it to affect what we have."

You cross your arms, your heart pounding. "What didn't matter, Franco?"

He looks at you, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "Before we started dating, there was this girl.... We were talking for a while, but it was never serious. Then I met you."

He pauses, stepping closer as though to reassure you. "When things got serious between us, I broke it off with her. Completely. I blocked her everywhere, stopped answering her calls—everything. I thought that was the end of it."

You blink, processing his words. "But she hasn't stopped trying to contact you?"

He shakes his head, guilt etched across his face. "No. She's been calling me from different numbers, sending messages. I didn't know how to make it stop. And I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Of losing you," he says simply, his eyes pleading. "I didn't want you to think I was still involved with her, because I'm not. You're the only one I care about."

His words hang in the air, heavy with emotion, but they do little to ease the knot in your stomach. "Franco, I would have understood if you'd told me earlier. But now..." You trail off, taking a deep breath. "Now it feels like you've been keeping this from me. And she's dragging me into it, too. Do you know how terrifying it is to get messages like that? To hear her voice and not know what she means or what she might do?"

"I'm sorry," he says, his voice cracking. "I didn't know it had gone this far. I thought ignoring her would make it stop."

You stare at him, the mixture of fear and frustration churning inside you. But as much as you want to be angry, you can see the regret in his eyes, the vulnerability he's trying to hide.

After a long pause, you take a deep breath and close the distance between you, placing a hand on his arm. "We'll get through this," you say softly. "But we have to face it together. No more secrets, Franco."

He exhales shakily, his hand covering yours. "You're right. I'll handle this. I'll find a way to make it stop. But I need you to know, te amo, and I'd never let anyone come between us."

You nod, your chest tightening at his words. "I love you too, but this has to end. No more running from it."

He leans down, his lips brushing against yours, the kiss lingering longer than usual. It's sweet and filled with unspoken promises, but there's still a shadow hanging over you both.

As the kiss ends, he rests his forehead against yours. "Thank you for believing in me."

You manage a small smile, but your mind is already racing with thoughts of what comes next. Whatever this is, you'll face it together.

For now, that's enough.

Tag list: @hs2016, @a-beaverhausen

[beef-brisket]

Once he got to the Pharaoh's exhibit, the first thing he noticed was that the anubis statues were frozen in a fighting stance, like they were about to attack something.

The next thing he noticed was the missing tablet.

Alastor: No- shit!

Alastor looked around for the tablet, encase it fell out of its display. All he found was an empty panel, and the staff door slight ajar.

Walking through the door, Alastor couldn't see anyone, but he heard laughing at the end of the long corridor.

He instantly recognised the voices. The three ex guards.

Alastor ran after them: Z-Zestial!

Valentino: Ah, there he is! We were wondering how long it'll take you to get here, papi~.

Alastor: Don't call me that- have you seen- the tablet...? Why do you have it?

Eyeing the tablet in Zestials hands, he saw the middle panel was turned completely around. He needed to fix or better yet, get the whole tablet back.

Velvette: Because, doll. Do you know how much this thing is worth?! This is the real deal!

Valentino: That's right, babe! Our buyer wants at least a million for this!

Zestial: Calm down, you two. Let's not tell the new security guard all of pur plans, yes?

Alastor: You can't do this! Their alive- their-.

Velvette: Fake! Their made of clay, Alastor. Stuffing and clay. Come on, Al. Don't tell us you're getting attached~.

Alastor: I... y-yes. I am attached. Their... kind.

Valentino: O-Oh, man! Hiw pathetic! Zest, you hearing this?!

Zestial smiled softly at Alastor: I apologise, Alastor. I know it's easy to form attachments, especially when you spend every night with these stuffed toys. But this is just business.

Valentino: And money. Lots and lots of money!

Alastor: Money?! Their alive!

Zestial: I'm truly sorry, Alastor. Really. But Val is right. There's a lot of money involved. So... have a good night, son.

Alastor didn't know what to do as the three continued walking off, Valentino and Velvette were laughing together.

He couldn't let them get away, but what chance did he have against the three of them?

Oh! What about Night at the Museum Au?

Adam is the nighttime watch guard.

Lucifer is on display as a King of Egypt.

Man's about to fuck a dummy of a mummy 😂

But yes, I fucking love that movie. Adam would look great as a security guard!

But there's a part of me that wants him and Lucifer to be the miniature Roman and Cowboy 😂

[aeb-art]

note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game

okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh

anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending

edit: part two

[kindnessoverperfection]

Lately, when I talk about someone I strongly disagree with, I think about my friends.

When I interact with someone who regularly rants about people, and tends to take things in the worst ways (without any attempts at self-reflection or grace), I feel more on-edge. I'm nervous to voice opinions. I'm always over-thinking everything I send them, worried about how they'll receive it.

On the other hand, I feel much safer during conversations where someone is speaking neutrally about those they feel at conflict with. When they feel upset about a situation, but without talking aggressively about the other person. Because I know that if we're ever in a disagreement, or have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, they won't hurt me or suddenly hate me*.

I used to speak much more aggressively about people. My personality disorders, combined with online toxic environments, were big factors in that. I was stressed and angry constantly, and I felt justified, and I felt afraid and ashamed to respond with anything but anger. But to make a long story short, I had several big painful interpersonal experiences where I realized how my attitude was impacting my friends.

I remember the nervousness in my friends' eyes. I remember the people I've met who are much older and never grew out of that reactive communication style, and I don't want to be that person. I want my loved ones to feel safe around me.

So nowadays, I do my best to speak compassionately (or at least neutrally). Because I want to signal to my friends that I'm not going to be cruel to them, or to automatically believe the worst of them, during a conflict or misunderstanding. I try to vent about situations and my fears instead of people.

I wish I'd realized this before.

*(I discuss splitting in the tags)

[cold-neon-ocean]

belligerent

[quinloki]

Canon Characters vs OC vs x Reader

Disclaimer: This is just my two cents, and my perspective on things, and I'm not trying to lay down the law for everyone. I needed to just put this to words though, in order to sleep.

I was thinking about this because of a post I saw, and some, we'll say, kind of useless comments associated with the post. Mean-spirited stuff.

Normally, in one ear and out the other, but the vibes just kicked me off down a rabbit hole of sorts an I wanted to try to put some of my thoughts to words.

First, some style vibes:

Canon x Canon Canon/Canon stories are, to me, like reading an episode of that show. I'm sitting down in front of a TV or whatever, and I'm experiencing the story As A Viewer. I like this style because I don't really have to expend much energy and I just kind of roll with whatever's happening. Generally some sort of 3rd person perspective.

OC x canon OC/Canon stories are like being on a carnival ride. I'm sitting in a car on a roller-coaster, and maybe the OC is sitting next me. I'm experiencing the story more deeply than strictly canon stories, but my connection with the OC is no deeper than say, my connection with Katniss Everdeen when I read The Hunger Games. Sometimes 3rd person, sometimes first person.

Reader x canon Reader/Canon (or Reader x/ OC) is like putting on a VR helmet. I don't get much physical input about the "Reader OC" because I'm experiencing the story through their eyes. I don't expect the reader to be me, but there's a bigger feeling of immersion to be had. Some description might happen cause it's relevant to the story, and it's still a type of ride, I can't jump the rails on the roller coaster, after all. (Even with a VN you still follow the tracks). Sometimes first person, sometimes second person (I'm partial to 2nd person perspective, but that's just me).

I love Fan Fiction, I love it. All of it, and man even more than anything, what I love is that I'm going to dislike 80% of it. Because that 80% was written for someone who is not me. (Hell, that number's probably closer to 99% if we're looking at ALL fandoms, but I digress).

Second - The VENT:

What got me the most in the post that prompted this, was someone saying "Bring back the Mary Sue OCs!" and then they went on to describe something more detailed, and I just -

Look, respectfully, fuck you.

The point is, you're not going to be happy no matter what. Whether it's "mary sue" OCs, or x readers, or alternative universes, or a ship you don't like, you're going to find something to be unhappy about.

Cause people have been bitching about all styles of fan fiction since the first "You've Got Mail" chimed in 1991. And until 1998 and ff.net you really had to hunt for it, and until 2007 and Ao3 the idea of tagging a fic for any reason wasn't really a thing. Every click was a surprise! \o/

I just have seen the same song and dance a dozen times. It's exhausting. People become okay with OCs and decide x readers are the enemy, and before that OCs were *all* Mary Sues and cringe and people who made OCs were the enemy, and before OCs people who wrote even a little OOC were the enemy, and people who wrote AUs were the enemy, and you can write fan fic but it HAS to be Canon Compliant, and everyone MUST be in-character at all times - "They would not fucking say that" was the enemy.

Look, just please - please - in any capacity, stop it with the "All X style of story telling is crap" mindset. There's over a dozen different ways to do x readers alone. I know 20 x reader writers and I don't think any of us have the same style, preferences, or vibes.

I've had a lot of comments along the lines of "I thought I hated x readers, but I really loved this." on a few different fics I've written. Sometimes it's not the style of the fic, sometimes it's the style of the writer, and my Brother In Christ - you're going to have to read some awful shit to shuffle through the thousands of writers out there to find the vibes that resonate with you.

Ostracizing entire swathes of fan fic because you need something to be "The Enemy" so you can lift up something else, and then bitching you can't find anything new to read seems like a personal problem.

And I know y'all are scrolling by TONS of posts that don't interest you, every day, as a matter of course. So don't give me that "clogging up the tag" BS, because we deserve to be here same as anyone else in the fandom.