#Miles can't rest as easy that it's not worth it. Because he's always thinking of earth

[husband-steve-cortez]

What if I had Miles destroy Maelon's data and Eve died on him...

I like thinking about these scenarios with Miles because he'd actually feel really guilty and I also kind of like being funny with paragon shep.

I also think Miles kind of feels guilty whichever path he goes and he feels a push and pull between what's morally the "right thing" and like. What's expected of him as a soldier, as a spectre, to keep the galaxy safe.

Such as. Wondering whether the Krogan can be trusted and feeling like, both to stop a potential future Krogan uprising and securing Salarian aid, lying to Wrex and his people and killing Mordin isn't that high a price to pay

Ezra isn't doing that kind of ruthless calculus. Not in this situation at least.

If Miles were more inclined to talk about it I think he and Kaidan might have some interesting things to say to each other about integrity and honor mattering even as the world falls apart.

[yarameijer]

Hi again 👋,I am here after reading chapter 42 of accidental reverse and it's epic,it was definitely worth the long wait,I am a sucker for tenma&shuu and tenma& shindou friendship,so,I can't wait for the next one, How's recovery going,well I hope. love from Hana

So,one thing that really bothers me about inazuma eleven is that they gloss over relationships that are important.I get this anime mostly focuses on soccer,but still,I thought about and tenma got betrayed 4 times in the series,4 Times,That's insane

First,shuu: I don't like that they completely glossed over this in the movie,I get that they didn't know each other for long,but tenma trusted him and shuu clearly knew they'd be playing against each other,being part of the team that beat raimon up, completely disregarding tenma's reaction,not patting an eye at tenma's best friend being locked in a cage like an animal.no matter how you look at it, that's a betrayal,I know the "fixed things"at the end of the movie,bit, tenma must've been hurt that someone he trusted betrayed him from the very beginning but shuu didn't apologize and I hate that.

Next, taiyou :I talked about this one in my previous post,What Taiyou did even without telling gouenji about anything interesting tenma told him(because that's not canon),what he did is a huge betrayal,Not telling tenma when he knew of his involvement in the revolution,acting cold and rude during their match,lying to his friend's face, completely disregarding his friend's feelings.That's a huge betrayal and I wish they payed attention to it,it was overshadowed by shindou breaking his leg and again tenma must've been hurt.

Next,Fei: this one's self explanatory,He apologized and I guess he betrayed all of raimon,but again,He and tenma were definitely the closest and he was hurt.

Next,The one that hurt him the most, tsurugi:I don't think I have to explain this and my hand's tired.

Not to mention that tge team treated him horribly in the beginning,like,shindou literally beat a junior up and I know he was upset,I know he was angry,but that doesn't excuse it,He's older and he should've taken it easy on a newbie who helped them before.and he never apologized.

Kurama was definitely the worst,He was rude,cold and blamed tenma for literally everything wrong in the club which is ridiculous and he never apologized.

The rest of the team, basically stood by and watched,The only ones on tenma's side from the very beginning are shinsuke and Aoi,which is why I love this trio and I think it should get more love.

So,my point is that everyone treated tenma horribly,no one apologized except for Fei and those betrayals must've hurt.

I want these guys to realize they messed up when they see tenma being hesitant to tell them something or see him more comfortably sharing things with, let's say,earth eleven more than them, specifically Taiyou and shuu.

Could you write a drabble about it.

Sorry,this is so long.I read A.R chapter 42 and came to vent.

Love you ❣️

Oh boy do I have feelings about this.

Through the years of writing stories, as I grew older, I started looking deeper into the characters' mindsets, to try and give them a more realistic and individual representation. This means it isn't always in line with what is shown in the anime, but I don't really mind. Tenma's character is pretty interesting to me because of three reasons: his cheerful attitude, his insecurities, and being allowed to move miles away from home at age eight.

The first two are quite well known in the fandom already and more people have experimented with it, but it's the third one I rarely see. Someone even told me it wasn't a big deal.

Is it really, though? What would such a thing do to a child? What kind of family situation would it be for parents to allow their eight-year-old kid to move several hundred miles away, for years? I get that he wanted to play at Raimon and that they were supporting him - but he started that school at age 12/13, so why would he be sent to Inazuma Town four years before he could even attend Raimon? It doesn't mean Tenma's parents are bad or abusive, but it does imply there's a more complicated situation, one that could actually explain quite a lot of Tenma's insecurities. It's just something that's been keeping my mind occupied lately, and I'm planning to use it in my stories more. 

All in all, I feel like Tenma's character can be quite complicated, without a ridiculously complicated and tragic backstory. It just doesn't fit, y'know? And it's a bit too cliché for me. Putting that aside for now, there's also one more specific characteristic I've given the Tenma in my stories: he has a hard time opening up, which means I'm not sure whether the issues you mentioned are ones he would just talk about. The Tenma I'm writing is much more likely to try to deflect a topic so I don't think I can fully 'finish' this? The issue won't be resolved by the end of the drabble because healing takes time, and I think I might build on this idea in future chapters more. I'll try my best though! And I didn't include Earth Eleven cuz they didn't seem right for this role. Instead Aoi gets some more love XD

So, just a warning, I have an idea for the start of this drabble but beyond that, my mind is blank. I have no idea what I'm about to write so bear with me here, and let's hope it's not too messy.

------------

Tenma has never had a lot of friends.

He told his yearmates, once, when they were hanging out at his house. Kariya and Hikaru had been talking about the team, about how much fun every day was, about how they weren't used to it. Tenma, relaxed and content and safe, agreed.

They'd been surprised, a little disbelieving. They were nice about it! But Kariya's, "For real? Could've fooled me!" had stuck with him, no matter how teasing it had sounded.

It's the truth, though. Before Raimon he'd had Aoi, and one or two people he would sit with during lunch at school, but that was about it.

He loves Inazuma Town, now more than ever - but making the switch from his relatively small seaside hometown to this busy Tokyo district was hard, harder than he'd admitted to anyone but himself. It's not that he didn't want to, but... Aki always got so sad when Tenma was sad and he could see her brightening whenever he said he was happy (and he was!) and okay. He didn't understand it fully back then, but he thinks he's starting to. Aki had been so young.

(Sometimes he's guilty, for putting more weight on her shoulders. For making her look after him when she was barely in her twenties.

Sometimes he's angry at his parents for putting such a burden on her. For ever getting it in their minds to ask their young cousin to be responsible for an eight-year-old child.

Sometimes he's angry at them for allowing him to go in the first place.

Most often, though, he's angry at them for making him want to.)

Tenma was in a new town, living with a relative he barely knew, and painfully shy. His soccer obsession didn't exactly help - everyone likes soccer, of course, how could they not when seeing all those hissatsu? But they don't live and breathe it like he does, like his teammates do. When the kids in his neighborhood found out that soccer was all he ever focused on, they lost interest in him pretty quickly.

(Most of them, at least, and the ones who didn’t - well, their interest wasn’t exactly a good thing.)

Aoi was an exception. But, Tenma has long since realized, Aoi is absolutely crazy in her own, hidden way (she'd have to be, to put up with their team's shenanigans).

Anyway.

Tenma isn't very experienced in the friends department, as surprising as many people seem to find it. He's never really cared, to be honest. He'd had Aoi and Aki and Sasuke and he found out early on that a lot of people just don't care. Fighting that never worked out for him, so why bother?

"Tenma!"

The sudden call has him looking up, brought back to the present.

Shindou has twisted around in his seat. He looks vaguely annoyed. "Finally. What's got you so distracted?"

Tenma blinks. "I'm sorry, senpai," he responds automatically, surprised by his own absentmindedness. He didn't expect to be so caught up in his daydreams with his entire team around him - the noise level in the bus is, as usual with them, high, and the air is filled with a familiar excitement at the prospect of a match, especially after so long.

"It's fine," the strategist sighs, a smile finally pulling at his lips that Tenma would almost call fond. "Just don't zone out all day, alright? We can't afford that when facing Arakumo Academy."

"Right," the captain agrees easily.

He expects that to be the end of it because Shindou is turning around in his seat again, leaving Tenma to his thoughts once more - but it isn’t.

"This is the second time you're distracted when we're playing against Arakumo," someone else drawls - Tsurugi, who's seated on the opposite side of the bus aisle, arms crossed and lounging in his chair like a king. "I'm starting to suspect a pattern."

Tenma, for lack of a better reaction, smiles and shrugs. He doesn't know what to say to that, because it's true.

Their last, and first, match against Arakumo wasn't his finest moment, he’ll readily admit.

Thankfully Tsurugi doesn't care much for his lack of reaction, focusing once more on the book he was reading. Tenma watches him for a moment, and then looks out of the window again.

He knows it's bound to get his mind wandering again, and he's not in the mood for another scolding, but there's not much else to do. Shinsuke next to him is playing a game on his phone, Hayami and Hamano in the row in front of him are discussing homework. Everyone else is either caught up in their own conversations or seated too far away to comfortably converse with.

Tenma starts tapping a mindless rhythm on his knee to keep himself in the present. He's restless. Hopefully the match will get him out of his head - he's not even sure why he's so distracted.

(That's a lie.)

He should be fine, right?

Everything's fine.

It all worked out.

School has started again after the summer holidays - of which he spent the first half in space. It still feels unreal to him, despite over a month having passed.

Not much else happened during the holidays. He'd caught a plane to Okinawa and stayed there pretty much until school started again, only returning to Tokyo a day and a half before. It had been nice to be back home, spending most of his time on the beach or exploring the familiar streets or practicing soccer by himself. He’s gotten sufficiently tanned, as well, and it was pretty funny to see Tsurugi’s annoyance at that once he got back.

This is their first match after the break - school's been in for only a week - and beneath the excitement, there's some nervous energy too. Arakumo is one of their most challenging opponents and they all know it.

At least it's only a friendly match instead of anything tournament-related, so the usual pressure of winning (especially when trying to lead a revolution against a deluded tyrant organization) is absent. Maybe, Tenma muses, that's why he's so distracted.

The fact that this is the first time he'll be playing against Taiyou since their argument doesn't exactly help. They've talked about it at length, and they've tentatively been texting and even hung out once over the summer, but there's a sense of discomfort that they're still trying to get past. Tenma, if only in his own mind, can admit he's worried about how any competitive interaction will affect them.

He doesn't want to lose Taiyou's friendship, but…

The brunet sighs and shakes his head. At this rate he's just going to keep on being distracted, and inevitably disappoint his team. He doesn't want to take that risk for their first match after such a long break.

Or, any match, really.

Especially not after-

Well.

After.

(He still cannot help but feel a bit jumpy, after all the arguments with Shindou during the Grand Celesta Galaxy, after Tsurugi’s kidnapping, after, after, after.

It had felt like he'd been on thin ice when he first joined the team, but that sensation had slowly but surely faded as he found his place.

Now, after, he hates that he's once more double-checking his every action. Hates that he's lost the sense of security in where he stands that had been near unshakable before the Grand Celesta Galaxy.)

Tenma is, once again, brought back to the present, this time because their bus is slowing to a stop. A glance out of the window tells him all he needs to know, and he hides a grimace.

Seems like they have arrived at Arakumo Academy.

------------

Raimon reaches their destination right on schedule, Shindou is glad to note. They'd left early so they'd have enough time to get ready and go over their strategy before the game starts, as they usually do, but Arakumo is a challenging enough opponent that any extra time is welcome.

They're guided over the campus in the direction of the soccer stadium and Shindou takes in the sights with mild interest. It's been a while since he's visited Arakumo - their previous match had been in one of Fifth Sector's stadiums. The prestigious academy hasn't changed much. It certainly lives up to its reputation, not quite as large as Teikoku's buildings, but nothing to look down on either. It's got a more serious appearance than Raimon, with red-toned walls and roofs with cloud patterns.

However, Raimon is here for a match, not to play tourist, and soon they find themselves in their assigned dressing room to get ready for the match. It's as the team is entering the room, getting ready to change out of their training suits, that a ringtone disrupts the usual chatter.

It's uncommon enough that Shindou finds himself glancing up, involuntarily raising his eyebrows as Tenma scrambles for his phone. He catches the captain's gaze and Tenma shoots him an apologetic look while he answers the call. “Hello?”

Shindou turns away and smiles at Kirino on his other side as he reaches for his bag, but despite his wish to give his captain some privacy, they’re right next to each other. It’s impossible not to overhear the one-sided conversation.

“I apologize, this isn't really the right time,” he hears Tenma say, sounding genuinely sorry and surprisingly formal. “I'm playing a match in-”

The brunet falls silent for several moments after the, assumed, interruption. Shindou unzips the jacket of his training suit and shrugs it off his shoulders. He's already wearing his uniform underneath the track suit, so he won't take long changing.

Next to him, Tenma starts talking again. “I understand, but I,” and falls silent yet again. Shindou frowns.

Something about the way his captain keeps on halting in the middle of his sentences seems a little odd. Shindou finds himself halting his movements, unable to keep himself from looking over at his young friend. It's not on purpose, but he's always believed in the worth of information, and something about the increasing tension in Tenma's voice raises his guard.

‘’Yes, I do understand, but is it really not possible?’’ The brunet in question is clutching his phone, lips pulled into a frown while his other hand holds on tightly to the edge of the bench. Whatever he's being told clearly affects him, and whatever reply he receives has his shoulders drooping visibly as he says, ‘’I know, but it was scheduled months ago…’’

It takes Shindou a second to classify the tone in Tenma's voice - not disappointed, but… resigned?

Whatever this conversation is that Tenma is now being forced to share with the entire team, it doesn't reassure Shindou in the slightest.

And it's clear he's not the only one. Although they're trying to hide it, the strategist notices several of his friends shooting worried glances at their captain, and the usual rambunctious chatter is muted. It’s by accident that Shindou and Tsurugi lock eyes over Tenma’s head, but it’s clear to both - they’re equally confused.

Tenma hasn’t hinted at any issue to either of them, and Shindou doesn’t quite know how to feel about that realization. He doesn’t mean to assume, but… well, as far as he knows, the brunet is an open book.

Especially to him and Tsurugi, or so Shindou had thought.

(Tenma respects him, he knows. It's clear the young brunet values his opinion, but he's also comfortable enough to approach Shindou with his issues and insecurities. To ask for help. To let himself be vulnerable.

Shindou appreciates that, could even say he's honored by the faith the brunet puts in him.

So to find out there's apparently something - a situation that seems to be the norm rather than the exception, based on Tenma's reaction - that has such an impact on the brunet, which he hasn't even hinted at towards Shindou nor Tsurugi…

Well, it throws him off more than he thought it would.)

The captain doesn't seem to have noticed the slowly increasing attention on him, too focused on whatever conversation he's having. One that's clearly not going well. “Are you certain?” he asks, sounding dull, and Shindou grimaces. That sounds very different from the Tenma he's used to, and it feels wrong.

‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to complain.’’

That is…

Shindou has to look away from Tenma then. He can’t stand the sight of him so muted, so wrong, and he gets the feeling he is intruding on something he has no right to know about.

Instead he exchanges a look with Kirino next to him, the defender appearing just as startled as the strategist imagines he himself looks.

‘’Alright. I understand.’’ The words are mumbles but where they would otherwise have gone unheard, now the team has become silent enough for it to be picked up. ‘’Right. Goodbye, then.”

Tenma hangs up and drops his phone carelessly in his bag. Then he sighs softly, staring at the ground for several seconds before getting to his feet with the intent to get changed.

Shindou debates saying something, thoroughly unsettled because he's seen Tenma worried, sad and even angry a few times, but this… this is somehow worse. Clearly upset about something and yet shrugging it off completely at the same time. He's got no idea how to handle this new side of his friend, and he doesn't like it one bit.

He doesn’t seem to be the only one doubting themselves, something hesitant in the air as the team waits - for what, Shindou can’t quite tell. For Tenma to explain? The captain doesn’t even seem to notice their focus on him as he pulls off his suit jacket, but the strategist can’t help but wonder if that’s really the case. Either the brunet is so lost in his own thoughts he doesn’t notice the unusual quiet in the changing room, or he’s pretending.

It’s Tsurugi who breaks first, and Shindou feels a little relieved. Whatever issue Tenma may be facing, his guess is that he'll most easily open up to either Shinsuke, Tsurugi, or Shindou himself. He's never asked for the details but he knows Tenma and Tsurugi share a lot - Tsurugi about his brother and his time as a Seed, and Tenma about his insecurities.

“What was that all about?” the striker mumbles from the brunet’s other side, a quiet offer to talk about it.

Tenma stills in the midst of securing the captain's band around his arm.

He doesn't even look at his best friend and there's a sudden, horrid feeling of dread in the pit of Shindou's stomach that he doesn't know the origin of.

“Nothing to concern yourself with,” Tenma says evenly, and that's it. He goes back to changing like nothing happened. Like his team didn't just watch him act more cautious and restrained than he did while they traveled to the future.

He hadn't even hesitated.

Hadn't even seemed to consider talking to his team - and sure, that might not be considered odd if it were anyone else, but this is Raimon. They are arguably closer than any other team, after everything they've faced together. It's their whole thing, their never ending support of each other and their strong bonds, the reason they've made it this far, and if there's anyone who enforces that stereotype, it's Tenma.

And yet he hadn't even spared Tsurugi a single glance as he'd answered.

Shindou doesn't know what to think.

With the sudden, painful, and most importantly unusual sense of awkwardness in the air, Raimon finishes getting changed. Coach Endou shows up not long after, as bright and enthusiastic as he always is, and at least that manages to lighten the mood a little. He repeats their strategy once more, supported by Haruna refreshing the most important data on the Arakumo team, and the boys listen intently to his advice until he dismisses them with a few minutes to spare.

There's chatter in the changing room again, the excitement at the prospect of a match against a team as challenging as Arakumo resurfacing, and yet Shindou still finds himself watching his captain.

The brunet doesn't join in on any conversations, lips thin and shoulders still a bit tense.

He approaches Aoi.

The girl looks up from where she's preparing towels for the boys for later, her smile fading the moment she catches sight of him in favor of a frown. “Are you okay?” she asks.

Tenma mutely shakes his head, eyes downcast.

Aoi reaches out for him, catching him by the shoulder. She seems worried, but there's something in the way she approaches the brunet that seems to speak of experience.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Tenma, finally, cracks a smile. “Later,” he tells her. “Wanna join Aki-nee and I for dinner?”

The girl immediately brightens, both at the offer and the prospect of supporting her childhood friend. “I'd love to. I'll let my parents know, do I need to text Aki-san for you?”

“Please.”

The whole interaction speaks of familiarity and care. Shindou, objectively, knew they were friends, childhood friends. Knew they live in the same neighborhood, knew they hang out together often.

Knowing is different from seeing.

The way Aoi had immediately seen something was up, the way she'd known exactly how to react. How Tenma talks to her so easily when he'd seemed painfully uncomfortable with the team, had, in fact, approached her himself because he wanted to talk. The easy invitation for dinner, something they're apparently both so used to that they hadn't even considered that either Aoi's parents or Tenma's guardian could have any problem with the sudden change of plans.

There's a trust there. A trust that, until ten minutes ago, Shindou had believed to extend to the rest of the team.

As the two first-years keep talking, Tenma smiling once more, the strategist is suddenly struck with the feeling he just intruded on something private yet again. He turns away sharply.

And catches Tsurugi's gaze once more.

Seems like he wasn't the only one keeping an eye on Raimon's wayward captain - and from the frown pulling at Tsurugi's lips, it's clear the striker recognized the same thing he did.

Tsurugi is far too good at masking his emotions, but for once Shindou can make out the confusion - and dare he say the hurt - in his eyes.

Though neither of them says a word, there's a quiet understanding between them.

For all that Tenma seems to depend on them, in the span of a single phone call it has become painfully clear that there’s a boundary that neither of them had been aware of before.

And Shindou can’t help but wonder why that doesn’t surprise him as much as he thought it would.

------------

Okay, so I tried to include Taiyou like you asked, but he didn’t want to be written. Neither did Raimon really realize they ‘messed up’, as you said, rather it’s a slow suspicion creeping up on them. This is sort of the start of the process in which Raimon realizes, ‘oh, wait, something isn’t exactly right here’.

That’s also because I’ve got some more things planned for them. Tenma has issues, but he’s also not the person to acknowledge them, or blame Raimon for their actions - but it still bothers him unconsciously and I’m hoping to build on that. Rather than outright telling Raimon, or even showing there’s a problem, he’d prefer to ignore his own feelings on the matter. He’s just not the type of person to keep grudges or blame others.

And then there's the rest of the team to consider - there's other people who still have opinions on what happened at the start of the year, but simply haven't brought it up while they were dealing with evil organizations and time traveling. Midori, for example, won't stay silent forever, and she's certainly no fan of how Tenma and Shinsuke were treated in the beginning.

Also, that phone call is actually important, but in the AR timeline is also something Tenma only faces during the third-year, AKA two years from this point in time. Very slow-going, basically, which is again why this drabble doesn't really solve anything.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed (despite the long wait, sorry about that)!

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Chris and I- bringing our Baby home for the first time

18+ just in case ALL FLUFF (slight mention of parent death) bringing baby home from being born choose ur own Chris (its an AU) COMMENTS & REBLOGS APPRECIATED no permission to repost republish or tralnslate.

"Chris why are you driving so slow?" I'm with our baby in the back while he's driving the Audi, (always my favorite car)

"Because"

"Yea but hon it's our private road my baby's gunna turn three before we get to the house."

"Um excuse me its our Baby"

"Sure let's just so with that." I playfully roll my eyes and see Chris pout in the rear view mirror.

"That's not funny you know how long I've wanted a family for."

"I do and I'm sorry." I pause for a few second. "Actually I'm not because you're taking forever and I am in desperate need of a bath and she is going to need to be changed soon and you should get rest. Because I am not letting her cry herself to sleep. A d-"

"You think I'd do that? Hell no."

"Good because I'm not going to be the only one getting up so if you can increase to may at least 10 miles an hour. I'd appreciate it."

"Fine. "

"Dare I even ask for 30?" I flirty teases.

"Don't push it." His lip curls a bit.

My phone dings

"Oooo"

What?

"Scott left us cheesecake in the fridge and your mother will be bringing us dinner! God I love your family."

My tears well up

"I know. I'm sorry hon. I'm sure your mother would've loved to be here but I know she's watching over us. "

"I know I just....."

"Hey it's ok you've got my family and they love you more than me so"

I laugh

"It's gunna be weird without dodger there but I can't wait until he gets to meet his baby sister." I changed the topic in a dime-I know. And I know Chris knows I did that on purpose- it's too painful to talk about right now; especially with emotions all over the place.

"I'm glad everyone understood we wanted some alone time."

"Well it was that or we leave them on a porch to freeze."

"Oh my sweet little one you have no idea how much you're loved." I caress her cheek.

"Oh she knows did you see how much she loved people. Who visited her she drank it up."

"Oh I saw. I'm glad she has a big family who loves her. She's so beautiful."

"Just like her mama."

"Chris."

"What? Its true. She is practically your mini me. Franky I'm thrilled I was terrified."

"Yea gorgeous sexy actor who'd want to look like-"

"You do remember those scene where I had to dress up like a woman."

"Good point I'm still traumatized."

"We all were" he laughs

"Chris did we move at all?"

"Yes I'm getting there. Relax."

"Well she gunna be hungrey I know and you know I know when she is gunna get hungrey."

"And exactly how is that."

"Mommys intuition."

"I want daddy's intuition" he pouted

Oh thats easy see carry the child for 9 months and push them out through-"

"Ok ok I was there I don't need to relive it."

"You asked. We almost there I wanna cuddle. Honey we have plen-"

"Who said you I wanna cuddle with my baby girl."

"Me too."

"Well you know how we solve that?"

"No."

"We all cuddle together. Wait you seriously didn't think of that?"

"Hon I am just focused on the road."

"Chris you realized if you go to 30 miles we would've been there 5 minutes ago. Especially since Mama here is getting Hangrey" I cross my arms.

"Ok good point."

Within 2 minutes were back at home.

Chris and I unlock the carrier I go to get out he tells me to wait. He get the car seat/carrier he puts her down on the porch and we can see her from where we are.

"You left our child alone? I look at him with" widened eyes.

He pauses in mid movement not sure what to do or say

"I'm just kidding we can see her from here but hon I can walk by myself."

"I just want to help."

"Nothing I say will change things will it?"

"Nope."

"Worth a try. Anyway. Alright go. She needs to eat I want to sleep and you are on diper duty."

"Got it."

That was easier than I thought," I thought.

"Mother knows best." He replies

"How the hell do you know what I was thinking."

"Because we are that in sync."

"I had that inadvertent smirk on my face going didnt I?"

"Yes."

Before we bring her in he opens the door and goes inside for a moment. Then he comes back out.

He won't let me bend down to pick up the carrier so he picks her up but he are holding both sides of the carrier as we walk in together. Thankfully he has huge doors.

"Home sweet home baby girl."

We get the tiniest tiniest yawn.

"That was the cutest thing ever awww."

"I got it all on film baby."

"What?"

I put my camera to record this. So I can send it to everyone.

Can you not send it to everyone on your acting friends list, that didn't go over well like anytime but just to our close close friends and family I don't trust everyone and its my baby and I-"

"I know I know calm down mama bear. I already have a baby list and got NDAs."

Ok so he's even more paranoid than me.

There was a moment of silence.

"Chris."

"Yea

"What do we do first with her?"

he pauses

"I dont know."

"She's sleeping I dont want to take her out of her carrier."

"Me either dont wake a sleeping baby. We leave her on the floor and get changed?"

"I guess"

Were besides ourselves but we change and we sit on the floor and just stare at her.

"She's still asleep how is this possible"

"I don't know."

"We must have the most perfect baby ever- look at her sweet little breaths."

We stare at her, intensly for a while longer ok, for a lot while longer. He keeps trying to take his phone out. I put my hands over his. I mean after the 200th photo we can give it a rest and just take it in.

Chris mom, who has a key, had came and knocked with her finger to get our attention

"Why is she still in her carrier?"

"She's still sleeping."

"I dont want to wake her. I know she's gunna be hungrey and you know when she wakes up but I can't I can't help it. She's so."

We don't want to miss anything.

Ok you two how about you get some sleep and let grandma take care of her

Me and Chris both pout

Now go. You two sleep while you can.

Chris helps me up why I don't know. But he does and we crawl into bed and cuddle up and I fall asleep in his arms the next thing I know his mother is gently waking me, telling me she's hungrey.

Our sweet angel is brought in to me and Chris wakes up a second before she's brought into me.. she grabs onto my finger as she feeds.

“I love you” he kissed my temple

“I know.”

He kisses her head and she gives him the dirtiest look.

I let out a huge laugh.

"You're just like mama" he boops her nose which does nothing to dispell her dirty look.

"Mommy doesn't like to be disturbed when she's eating either."

"Ignore daddy" her eyes turn back to me, turning soft, "hes crazy."

"She likes you better."

"Baby im sure its just cause she loves food and I'm her only source. And she doesn't like me better its just baby moods." I don't know if that’s a thing but its worth a shot to comfort Chris.

"I know she loves you too. She made grabbed hands towards you before she fell asleep."

"Really."

"Yea. Right my little angel you love daddy too."

We turn on the TV low and Chris put on C-span.

"One way to get her to sleep. But maybe save c-span for night time. Put on a movie."

"Which one?”

“I don't know."

We finally settle on Disney's Snow White and not soon after she finishes eating and fals right back asleep. I hold her as Chris puts one arm around me and one arm around the baby.

His mother comes in without us realizing and apprently took a few pictures before she told us to say cheese.

"I'm tired"

"Sleep my love."

"We should put her down in her crib first I wanna do it together its the first time." I pout. So I'm exhausted I'm barely able to make it to her nursery but I'm determined for us to do this as a family. We gently placed her in the crib And Chris is apprently a master at hiding camera because he got the whole thing on film. We placed her in her crib and

and back before I'm out like a light. Chris later told me he held me while watching the baby monitor like a hawk until he fell asleep. I mean she's safe and were home and safe. Theres nothing I need more than what I have right now, snuggling into my husband the perfect first time home.

Ok sure she woke up up for feedings (which Chris got up to get her, and diaper changes and swaddling but she's a baby they do that but she's still a perfect baby... our baby... mine and Chris' perfect baby

Tag list

@sapphire-rogers @nana1000night @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja

[formulatrash]

Do you think George really could have got third? He was angry about it but Mercedes looked too slow. Idk whether to believe the upgrades worked

hmmm, well. "idk whether to believe the upgrades worked" will be roughly where the team is, too, tbh. Monaco is a terrible circuit to assess anything on, since it's nothing like any other F1 circuit and clearly things like the straight line speed and DRS advantage deficit aren't going to get any kind of airing on a track that small.

for what it's worth, I thought Merc looked quite strong in Monaco, especially given neither George or Lewis is especially good round there. it was George's one shocker in F2 (he qualified 3 billionth and crashed both races) and he's only ever been alright-ish in F1. Lewis has won a surprisingly low number of times there for the number of times he's won anywhere else which, in the case of Lewis, is like saying "hey, guy's probably only like third-best ever at this circuit" but like, not one of his best by his own, uniquely high, standards.

that said this was obviously a silly and goofy year of Monaco with a lot of on-track overtaking. moving forward more than one place in Monaco is always a bit of an achievement and although some of Merc's progression was Carlos slipping back, clearly they weren't hopeless in any of the conditions.

compare that to, say, AlphaTauri and McLaren where Yuki was miles ahead of Lando for most of the race and then completely lost control of the car in the wet, you can easily see the diference between Merc and a midfield team for overall stability and race execution. or if you look at Ferrari, whose car was tricky in the dry and borderline undrivable in the wet or intermediate conditions, Mercedes certainly seem to have taken a step ahead of them.

was third nailed on if George hadn't done that particular goof? idk, he might have done a different goof. it's easy in the heat of the post-race, pre-debrief media sessions to fixate on the sliding doors moment where you saw something slip away and I'm not going to pretend I'm booting up ATLAS to run the data on whether Esteban could have caught and passed him otherwise. especially since that's only data; what if Esteban had also goofed?

at the end of the day, even in Formula 1 racing is done on track. George, as it happens, could not get third because that isn't how the race played out and you can't do a flashback IRL - just like McLaren's call to pit Lando was an obvious sign there was a huge storm cloud incoming because hindsight really do be like that.

on the plus side for Mercedes fans, Barcelona is the track that teams love testing upgrades on so the team got them out for that. clearly, as you can see by the various patchwork carbon fibre pieces involved in the photos, there was a bit of rushing to do this and smaller teams like McL are still waiting for theirs for three races. getting the upgrades to Barcelona, even without the Imola data, is a big win for Merc and I'd expect to see at least a clear direction in terms of what they're doing and how they're developing for the rest of the season and next year from this point on.

[charliedawn]

How would they react if you were to marry someone else? (Warning : I love writing sad stories)

" I'm so happy for you. I hope that you'll have the best life together. You deserve it."

He smiles and pretends that it doesn't hurt him as much as it really does. After having spent so many times doing it, faking perfect happiness has become easy for him. He loves you, he always loved you..but now, he has to see you at the arm of another man/woman and it takes all of his willpower not to cry. He knows he can't do anything, but he still wishes that you would see..see how much he cares and would do anything to be that person by your side. But, he will not be as selfish as to tell you how he truly feels. He wants you to be happy. He thought Peggy would be the only person that he would ever want to see smile everyday, but that was before he met you. He wants you to be happy, this is why he doesn't want to be selfish and deprave you of that wonderful smile by actually saying how he truly feels. However, when the music starts and you don't find your husband/wife anywhere, he decides to step up. He stands in front of you with a gentle smile and a welcoming hand.

" May I ?"

You smile back and nod in agreement before taking his hand. You start waltzing and many people leave the way, as if they know..they know that this man is the one you should have married. Unfortunately, it seems that you hadn't gotten the memo in time, as you were the only one who understood too late..But what hurts the most ? It is that he seems genuinely happy for you. That smile tortures you. He wipes your tears away, tears that you hadn't felt rolling down your cheeks. He smiles again and you close your eyes, everything to stop looking at that smile..Suddenly, you feel someone tapping your shoulder. You open your eyes wide to see your husband/wife that addresses you a soft smile before glaring at Steve that glares right back. He crosses his arms, but finally says with a stern warning.

" If you hurt her/him..I will hurt you."

He simply states before turning around and walking away. You look at him walking away and can't help but chuckle as you remember something that Tony had said long ago.

" That is America's a**"

Your husband/wife looks at you with widened eyes, as if you had gone crazy and it only makes you laugh harder. Maybe you had ?

" This is quite the ceremony..In my 107 years on this planet, I don't remember ever being invited to a wedding."

"Too bad that my first had to be yours", he wants to add, but he had promised himself to behave today. He sits down and hangs his head low, not finding the strength to look at you again. He is afraid of what he'll find there..worse of all, he doesn't want to see pity..Nothing is worse than pity. Because, he knows he doesn't deserve it. However, your hand appears in his peripheral vision and he is forced to look up at you.

" Bucky Barnes, may I have this dance ?"

You ask and his eyes widen in surprise, looking around for your husband/wife to intervene. But, you're alone for now and he takes your hand. You yank him out of his seat and he finds himself smiling as you laugh when you both nearly fall under his weight.

" Come on, Barnes. Help me here. Get up !"

He laughs before finally getting up and you smile before dancing with him. At some point, you tenderly get some locks out of his face behind his ear and he grazes his lips over the top of your hand, a simple kiss that has more meaning than everything you had experienced so far. However, your husband/wife arrives and shatters the moment by taking your hand for a dance. Bucky has just the time to whisper something in the shell of your ear that makes you feel cold to the bone.

" I lost.."

He simply says, staring right at you with tears in his eyes and a small sorrowful smile. He feels terrible and knows that if he had acted sooner, you would have been his. But, he waited too long. He doesn't want to let you go without you knowing what he feels about you. He lost..He will never be the man who you will run to in your darkest moments, he would always remain Bucky, the best friend. You look at him, he looks back at you and you know..You know what those words mean. You smile sadly. Maybe..It could have been. But, it is too late now, and Bucky knows it. He smiles back too with tears rolling down his cheeks that he quickly wipes away. Nobody understands in the room, not even your husband/wife, but you do. You do. And, that's enough for him.

Many thought Tony was crying because he was moved, little did they know..Tony Stark was crying because he hadn't realized until you showed up in your wedding dress how much of an idiot he had been for not acting sooner. He could convince himself and others that he was a genius..but at that moment, he felt like the dumbest of them all. He wants to be that person that is holding your hand and kisses you gently while you exchange rings. He thought he had time, even when you said that you were getting engaged..He thought it wouldn't last. He had even tried to pay the man/woman to leave you alone. But, it is over now. He knows that there is no turning back. You're gone..and you would never be his. This is why the great Tony Stark was crying. However, he forces himself to smile now and laughs as he stands up to make a toast.

" I guess it's my turn. To Y/N L/N, the woman/man that is always willing to go the extra mile. The heart of the team. The person that always sees the bright side in people. You are one of a kind and nothing less than special. My only regret, is to have not noticed it sooner.."

He smiles at you and chuckles before raising his glass.

" I wish you nothing than what you deserve. Happiness. Happiness for now and forever."

You smile and raise your glass as well. The music soon plays and your husband/wife takes you hand to have the first dance. However, somebody else grabs it first and you turn around to see Tony that winks cheekily to your partner.

" Too slow. Don't worry, I may borrow you lovely bride/groom for five minutes, but you'll have them for the rest of your life."

You smile as your partner reluctantly lets you go. You follow Tony that succeeds in surprising you with his moves. He notices and chuckles.

" Didn't know I had moves like that, huh? Guess I can still surprise you.."

You shake your head and laugh while arking an eyebrow at him.

" Surprised that you know how to dance ? Nah. I've seen worse. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't crash my wedding with an helicopter screaming "I object !" before kidnapping me. Ah.."

The scene is so detailed that Tony wonders if you had imagined it, wished it even ?

" Would you have followed me ?"

He asks seriously, in a almost hopeful voice and you smile, almost dreamily, but your answer is as serious as his question.

" To Hell and back.."

Another proof that Tony Stark is an idiot: he had thought of it. He had thought of crashing your wedding and carrying you bridal style out of this downright ridiculous wedding..but he had hesitated. He is about to tell you that the alternative is still possible when he sees your husband/wife making their way to you. He closes his mouth. He has no right to take you away from them. He smiles one last time before kissing your forehead.

" Go back to your prince/princess, sweetheart..They deserve you the most."

" I'm fine..I'm fine."

He says to whoever asks him, so much that he starts actually believing it. However, it is another story when he sees you walk the aisle and can't help but have a lump in his throat as he contains his tears. Here you are, as beautiful and surreal as the first day he met you. Your kindness radiating from you so much that it almost hurts him to see how perfect you are. He wants to chase those thoughts from his head, he wants to stop loving you..But he can't. Just one look at you, and he knows that he is not fine. He is far from fine. His other half wants to get out an rip the man/woman that dared take you away from him, but he won't let him. He is not a monster, and he won't allow you to see him as anything else than nice inoffensive little Dr Banner, especially today. It is killing him to see you with such a smile that seems so genuine. To think that it is supposed to be your happiest day, and it is his worst. It only gets worse when you ask him to be your first dance..He is not a good dancer, he knows it. But, for once, he'll go beyond his safe zone and let you bring him to stand up and dance with you. Thankfully, you mostly take the lead and go slowly. He doesn't know what to say, so he just stays silent, admiring you. You look up at him and he can't help but smile back. Soon, the song is over and he opens his mouth to finally admit what he has always felt for you. But, other words come out.

" Congrats, Y/N..I'm happy for you."

Lies. Lies. He is not happy, he is miserable. But, he won't admit it, not when you smile at him and embrace him tightly like that..He finds that he has trouble to breathe. He knows that Hulk wouldn't let him, but he truly feels as if he is dying. He forces himself to smile as you take a step back and walk towards another guest. He follows you with his eyes before walking away. He should have known, who would ever want a monster like him ?

" You have a mighty warrior by your side. The best of them all. Be sure to make them happy and Y/N? I wish you many great adventures and..and.."

For once, the great Thor is lost for words. He is happy for you, but something in his chest burns. He should be happy as it is a joyous moment, but he can only fix his cup with uncertainty. You are one of his best friends..He should be happy for you, the words of encouragement and congratulations should flow from his mouth. Thor is not one to pass on good wine, but still, he is as sober as he ever remembers himself being. He can't drink, his lips are parched, and still..He feels as if he is drowning. He glances at you and sees the same uncertainty in your eyes.

" I love you.."

The words get out before he can ever register them and the whole assembly falls silent at his confession. Both you and your partner open your eyes wide in shock at his confession. You are about to say something when Thor starts laughing and shakes his head.

" I love you as a brother/sister and I wish you all the best that this world has to offer !"

The whole assembly seems to buy his last minute addition, including your partner that seems to relax beside you. But, you are no fool. You've spend enough time with the North god to know when he is lying. However, you don't know what you would have said, you were so eager to respond..but in truth ? You don't have a clue on what the good answer would have been. You stand up and face Thor that seems taken aback when you take him by the hand to the dancefloor. When you're sure that nobody would overhear your conversation, you whisper.

" What the heck were you thinking ?! Confessing like that today?! Out of any days?!"

He wants to deny, but he only lowers his head in shame.

" Forgive me, my friend..I shouldn't have said anything. It was selfish on my behalf. Forget I ever said anything. I wasn't thinking straight, too much wine.."

He quickly adds at the end, hoping that you would buy this excuse. For a moment, your eyes seem to scan his face for any clue that he was lying..But then, for a second, he sees a glimpse of disappointment that quickly disappears, replaced by a smile.

" I see.. No worries. Everyone makes mistakes."

You finally say before walking away. His heart tightens as he watches you leave, going back to him/her. That person that he shall never be..He forces himself to stay stoic in front of the many guests that wanted to talk to him, but he can't help to steal quick glances at your beauty, from afar. Thor is not one to cry, he is a hero, heroes don't cry. But, he can't help but shed a few tears as he knows that this is what he will ever be allowed to do now, steal glimpses at your infinite beauty that blinds him every single time. Funny, he always thought that Asgard was the most resplendent thing in the galaxy..guess he was wrong.

He wouldn't come. He can't. He is a mess since the day you told him. He would stay locked up in his room and only follow the ceremony on a TV screen.

" It could have been me..It should have been me !"

He screams before punching the screen and finally leaning down on his bed. He cover his eyes with his hands to hide his tears from the world. He dreamt of the day you would be dressed in the most beautiful silks, but for him.

" Oh my sweet..To think that those tears of joy are not for me to admire..Tell me, if I had had the courage to ask you ? Would you have said yes, little Midgardian ?"

He asks the broken TV screen wistfully and laughs humorlessly before looking at his shaking hands. Suddenly, he closes them into fists and screams at the top of his lungs, he screams his regret and the pain he feels at knowing that you would be happy without him. When he stops, he feels his sore throat and hiccups a laugh that turns into a maniacal laugh. Who is he hoping to fool ? You wouldn't have said yes..Who could ever say yes to such a monster ? He closes his eyes and makes a clone appear at the dinner. He thought you wouldn't notice him among the crowd, but you do and he freezes. Finally, you smile warmly at him and make your way to him through the crowd. He hadn't planned on talking to you, he just wanted to see you one last time. However, he still forces himself to smile courteously and takes your hand to kiss the back of it, like a prince in those fairytales that you used to read him when he was in his cell..

" You haven't changed, prince Loki..To think 5 years passed already. I thought you were dead, I mourned you.."

You say in an almost accusative tone, but he only answers with a small shrug and a smile.

" Timelines, my dear..A very complicated thing."

You nod absent-mindedly at his answer before wrapping your arms around him. He takes a shaky breath before slowly raising his hand to gently pet the top of your head.

" I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you.."

" I'm sorry too."

You reply with a sad smile that makes his heart sink. But, before he could ask what you were sorry about, you partner comes and asks for a dance. You smile apologetically at Loki before taking the hand of your husband/wife. Loki stays still, the question still lingering in his mind..Sorry ? Sorry for what ? He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. It doesn't matter. It is too late now..He is too late. His clone vanishes and Loki comes back to his room, sad and now, destined to be alone forever..

" You look so gorgeous/handsome. I can't believe you're getting married. He/She better treat you right, alright ?"

Scott would be happy for you and hide his sadness behind a smile. He would look at you with tears in his eyes, thinking of how you look truly amazing in that dress/smoking/whatever suits your boat. He would act like you best friend until the end, even walking you to the aisle if you ask him. He's so proud of you, but at the same time can't help but feel a pang in his chest, knowing that he is not the one waiting at the end of said aisle. He would also stay by your side afterwards during the dinner.

" Was it like that with Cassie's mother ?"

You ask him and he takes a shaky breath before answering you with a small sad smile.

" Oh no..It wasn't so fancy. You got yourself quite a deal with that one. He/She seems to be an extremely good catch."

You laugh a little before turning your head away to discreetly wipe your tears.

" I guess I should consider myself quite lucky then, huh ?"

You both laugh, but it sounds so fake and unnatural that you immediately stop. You then look around for your husband/wife as the music starts, but do not spot him among the crowd. However, Scott stands in front of you with his hand outstretched towards you.

" I may not be the best dancer, but would you do me the favor ?"

You look at his hand for several seconds before taking it with a genuine smile.

" Of course."

He smiles back and you start dancing around. However, when you finally stop, you realize that you've been staring too long at him and him at you. For a moment, you think he is about to kiss you, and you would have let him..But then, your husband/wife arrives with a smile and wraps their arm around your waist possessively. Scott understands the message and smiles one last time at you before taking a step back and letting go of your hand. You open your mouth to talk, but quickly close it..What could you possibly say ? But, he doesn't seem angry, he just sniffles and makes it sound like it is the emotion of finally you getting married.

" Oh wow..I guess I overstepped, huh ? Sorry..They're all yours."

Scott then walks away, his heart shattering even more with each step he takes and you sigh while your partner leads you away.

" I guess that congratulations are in order."

He says while flying down next to you and taking your hand. You smile up at him and he seems to not find his words. He had repeated them. But, just looking at your face, and other words fall out of his mouth.

" I'm sorry. I can't seem to be able to find any will in me to congratulate you."

You snort. Of course..

" You have an awful lot to learn about humans, Vision..But, I don't blame you. I wouldn't be able to find the will to congratulate myself either."

He frowns, confused, and tilts his head to the side, trying to decipher your words.

" But..It is your wedding day. The happiest day of your life."

He replies while slowly dancing with you in the air until your husband/wife asks him to get you down.

" Is it ?"

You reply before laughing humorlessly while staring right back at him with your eyes glassy, as if you're about to cry. However, you only smile one last time before following your husband/wife that leads you to another guest. Vision watches you leave and feels his brain working, still trying to make sense of your words. Suddenly, he seems to understand and closes his eyes, feeling something painful in his chest, even though he knows nothing is physically wrong with his body.

" I see.."

He finally says. He doesn't know for who he says it, maybe you, maybe himself ? For a being whose name is Vision, it took him a while to see the truth.

" You're the father of the bride/groom ?"

One of the guests ask him as he saw Dr Strange walk you to the aisle. He doesn't want to be rude, it's your day. He fakes a smile before nodding half-heartedly.

" Something like that.."

The guest is obviously not a close friend, or they would have known that your father had died/wasn't there. He glances at you and finds you staring at him. You quickly look away when you understand that you've been spotted. He wishes his feelings could be only translated as fatherly/brotherly/friend-related love..But, unfortunately, his heart had decided to play with his emotions. He had hoped for so long that his heart would listen to his brain that was finding every possible reason for him not to crash the party and take you away..He had had many occasions to lose his mind, falling head over heels for you isn't the one he thought would finally break him. It is eating him alive. He is so absorbed in his thoughts that he doesn't see you, making your way to him. You gently tap him on the shoulder and he turns around to see you with a Cheshire-like grin.

" Shouldn't I have my first dance with my father ?"

He rolls his eyes dramatically at the last word before he retorts.

" You heard that, huh ? But you still don't hear me when I tell you to wake up for your training each morning.."

You laugh before taking his hand and leading him to the dancefloor. He can't help but smile when you start laughing at the sudden change of music..

"Beyonce. How convenient.."

You mimic his voice and he sighs loudly in fake exasperation.

" I should have known..This is why you wanted me to be your first dance. You had planned it all, you little devil."

You laugh mischievously before it slowly quiets down and you look at your shoes as you admit.

" That..but I also wanted you to be my first dance..You're the only family I have left, Strange. You, and the Avengers."

His heart beats a little too fast for his liking at your words and he admonishes his heart for being so sensitive..He takes your chin between his thumb and index to tip your face up, in order for you to look at him. When he sees that you are crying, he feels his heart stop and his mask crumbles. He allows himself to cry as well and you open your eyes wide in shock. Doctor Strange. The man that had gone through countless hardships such as a car accident that made him lose the practicality of his hands, wars, a face to face with a god, who had literally died, is now crying at your wedding. The irony..You hide your face in his cloak that seems to understand and hides the both of you for a moment. You feel safe in Strange's arms and want to stay hidden in his cloak forever, but you then hear the noises coming from outside, the voice of you partner among them. You force yourself to smile and wipe your tears. You then look up at Strange, but he doesn't need you to ask, he lets you go and you leave the safety of his arms to return to the ones of your beloved partner. Stephen can just stare at you until you both disappear among the crowd. He is still crying and his cloak tries to wipe them as well, but he shakes his head.

" Don't..It is the only thing I have left from her/him.."

Hawkeye doesn't know why he came..He knew it would break his heart to see you in someone else's arms..But, he still came. Thankfully, he has Natasha by his side. She stays next to him and he laughs bitterly as he tells her.

" My arrow didn't work it seems. The right speed, but not the right target.."

She smiles sadly at her best friend before putting her head on his shoulder compassionately.

" Don't sell yourself short. One of them hit right."

He looks up at you and laughs humorlessly at Natasha's way to comfort him.

" I don't know what is worse ? Her/Him marrying someone else or her/him not marrying at all ?"

Natasha laughs, but it is as fake as his.

" Who knows ? Maybe it wasn't meant to be ?"

Clint nods, even though he can't help but disagree with Natasha. From the first moment his eyes fell on you, he knew you were the one. Unfortunately, he had to compete with super soldiers, geniuses and gods..Who was he to ask you for a chance ? A guy with arrows..The answer is so obvious, the reality so brutal that it hurts. But what hurts the most ? It's that at the end, you had chosen another human, a human with no superpowers, no inhuman strength, not even arrows..Only human. To add to his shame, your smile that seems so genuine as you make your way to him.

" Barton, may I have this dance ?"

You ask and he looks at Natasha for help, but she only busies herself with her drink as she stands up to leave.

" Have fun you two.."

" You traitor.."

He mouthes at her while you have your face turned and Natasha barely surpresses a laugh. He then puts a smile back on when you face him. You smile back as he takes a the lead and starts waltzing around with you. You seem so happy, he feels as if tears are about to spill from his eyes. He bats them away just in time. He couldn't let you see him like this, not now, not ever..

" You know, Clint..There was a time where I thought it would be you.."

He opens his eyes wide in shock at your admission as he looks down at you, unsure if he had heard you correctly. But, you nod in confirmation.

" You heard me..I really thought you would be the one wearing a tuxedo and sweep me off my feet. But, it seems Robin Hood only exists in novels and I am no damsel in distress.."

He doesn't know what to say, so he only lightly squeezes your hand to urge you to continue. He knows it won't change anything, but he wants to know nonetheless. However, you only smile sadly before looking up at him with eyes prickled with tears and stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

" Girls/Guys can dream, right ?"

You then walk away and leave him dumbstruck as he processes what you had just admitted. Not only would you have been satisfied with any human beings, you would have been satisfied with him. The knowledge hurts more than anything and he can only sit down on a nearby couch, tears rolling down his cheeks now. One single thought running on loop through his brain : he could have been enough. He could have been enough..

Bonus : Your reaction

You wait a little bit before walking towards a room where you could finally be alone. You stay with a smile plastered on your face on the way there, keeping the facade for the sake of convenience until you are in said room. Your smile slowly turns downwards and you lean against the door, letting a big sigh out of your mouth as you look at the ring on your finger. Here. It was done. But then, why does it feel so painful ? You slide down and bury your face in your arms to sob as quietly as possible. He had danced with you, he had nearly confessed to you..but didn't. And the worse part is ? If he had asked you to follow him, even then, you would have followed him without any hesitation. You had once thought that he would be the one by your side forever..Guess you were wrong ? You sniffle before opening the locket hanging from your neck where a small picture of him is hidden. You smile tenderly at the picture before taking the locket off and pondering what to do with it now ? You have to forget. He is only a dream, a beautiful dream..but a dream nonetheless. Heroes like him belong to the world, not you. You take a shaky sigh before wiping your tears away and smiling again. You had married someone that loved you and that you loved, you should be happy..But then, why does your heart seem so eager to prove you wrong, beating wildly in your chest out of protest ? You close your eyes and let one single tear roll down your cheek one last time before letting the locket fall from your hand on the floor as you stand up. You then put on your fake smile again and open the door to step out.

I had to listen to so many sad songs to do this. Hope it was worth it.

[misschifuyu]

Temporary

characters: sano manjiro (mikey) + gn! reader

genre: angst

warnings: swearing

It didn’t take a genius to notice.

At first, you figured it was simply because of work; busy work amongst the members that he had to deal with, taking up all his free time. You understood what it meant to be the leader of such a prestigious gang - if one could call it as such - so you didn’t think much of it.

“Did everything go okay today?”

“Yeah”

It was strange, to say the least, seeing him so quiet as you greeted him into your home. Having not seen him in a few days, you figured this would be a perfect opportunity to get together, one Wednesday afternoon you thought he would be free.

Of course, he had answered your text with an ‘okay’ to your suggestion; as a result, you were surprised to see him in such a glum mood.

That afternoon he had sat with you, but it felt as though the two of you were miles apart. Only a few words were exchanged, and you knew, without a doubt, that something wasn’t right.

Days passed on, and you tried to leave him some space. You knew well how much Mikey could get overwhelmed with life’s troubles, so you figured it was best to leave him sort them out before trying to intervene. The last thing you wanted was to make matters worse, after all, so you trusted it was the right decision.

Unfortunately, this ended up spanning into a week without knowing anything about him.

As it got to the 7th day, you couldn’t stop yourself from calling him. Grabbing your own, you clicked on his profile, a picture of the two of you showing up as you did.

What if something had happened to him?

Listening to the ringing tone by your ear, your mind drifted off into all the possibilities; despite knowing how your boyfriend was, you still worried for him. More than he could ever even imagine, frankly.

After a few seconds, you reckoned he wasn’t going to pick up. You couldn’t even begin to think of why, your legs taking you out into the streets of Tokyo as you hurried to the place you could only think he would be.

Near the riverbed.

Luckily, your house wasn't located too far from the spot where you had spent countless evenings throughout your relationship. It always seemed to bring Mikey a sense of serenity, watching the water flow by as he would rest on the grassy hill. Truthfully, you weren't entirely sure you'd find him there, but it was a place to start searching for him, at least.

Rounding the corner of the final block, you spotted a sitting figure. By the flowing, black jacket that was hung on the person's back, you recognised them immediately - unless another Toman member had decided to get a very similar haircut to your boyfriend, that is.

You were relieved, glad to know that you weren't going to have to search for him or even ask around for his whereabouts. And as far as you could tell, he didn't seem to be injured or in any bad state. Letting your chest heave out a deep breath from running just seconds earlier, you slowed down your pace to approach him.

He was silent. No surprise, seeing as he was alone, but as you got closer you could tell that he was far from being in a happy mood. The way his eyes were locked onto the distant view of the city made it clear that he was deep in though, and seeing as he wasn't accompanied by anyone, it would seem that he had come here to be alone with his thoughts.

A sense of pity filled your senses, and all you wanted to do was console him. But you knew that would be of no way to come up to him, so you stopped a few metres away from him, hoping he had already sensed your presence, so as to not startle him.

"...Manjiro?"

Addressing him by his first name, you remained still in your position. By his slow reaction, you assumed he had known you were there, but had chosen to ignore your presence until you spoke up.

He looked up at you with what could only be described as an empty stare. It worried you, seeing him look at you with such dull eyes, but you stood silent, waiting for him to speak up on his behalf.

"Why are you here?"

Far from what you had expected as the first words he aimed at you after a week's worth of disappearance, you sucked in a breath. Was this really his reaction upon seeing you after such a time period? And if you hadn't come, would he have continued to act as if you held no place in his life?

"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay...You haven't come over for a week, so I was starting to worry and-"

"It was for your own good"

Upon his interruption, you knitted your eyebrows together, a prominently confused look on your face.

"What?"

Mikey blinked away from you, looking instead towards whatever was behind you. He was avoiding eye contact with you, and that was the last thing you needed when you were trying to understand him. His distance had been a clear sign that something was wrong, and now he couldn't even bare to look straight at you.

"Things have been getting complicated as of late, and I didn't want to bother you with all of that"

Now that you had a closer look at him, you could see that he wasn't in the same shape he was always in. His right arm, which had been out of your sight until you stopped before him, showed a series of dark bruises, and a nasty cut was split by his top lip, clearly caused recently by the bright, red tones that made up the injury.

That wasn't to mention his ripped attire. Strewn across the sleeves and even the front piece, they looked to be a consequence from a knife, tearing the fabric in an attempt to reach him instead.

"Mikey, you know you would never bother me with any of this, you should've come to my house, I would've helped you"

With a shake of his head, the blond strands that you so loved to run your fingers through moved in sync with his movements.

"No, Y/N. Shit gets ugly after a fight, and the last thing I want is for you to see me like that. Can't you just be patient for a little longer?"

His tone was starting to sound aggravated, and you hadn't the faintest ideas as to why. All you had done was come up to him to ask about his wellbeing, and yet he was adamant in pushing you away.

"Patient? Mikey, I've been worried sick this past week, not knowing where you've been or what you've been doing. All I've gotten are ignored calls and messages, do you really expect me to just be alright with that?"

He had turned to look back at the river by now, listening to you but with what seemed to be very little interest. It was as if you were speaking to a wall, and you were starting to get worried that this wasn't going to end well.

The fact he didn't trust you enough to continue to be at his side when at his lowest point was giving you clear signs that something wasn't going right in the relationship. He had helped you countless times when you needed him, so how come he didn't allow himself to seek out your help in such times?

The silence between the two of you was heart wrenching.

"Manjiro? Are you even listening to me?"

Shoulders lifting, he closed his eyes momentarily before turning fully towards you.

"Y/N, I'm just fucking afraid you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself. It's not all sunshine and smiles, but I don't want you to see that because I know damn well you'll leave me if I show up to your house looking like this"

So he didn't.

He didn't believe he could count on you when he was going through tough moments. He truly thought you were so empty-hearted that you would leave him for something you knew right from the start could happen. Hell, you knew before even dating that he could show up busted and bloodied out of the blue.

And yet he had convinced himself that, somehow, you would ditch him because of it.

He had created a distance between the two of you, one that you had never thought even existed. On your behalf, such a gap had never even come to mind, but it seemed his just continued to grow.

"I would never leave you for something like that, Mikey...why would you even think of that? I love you for everything that you are, no matter the state you come home in"

"Don't lie to yourself, Y/N. I know what kind of person I can be, and it's far from something one would want to be with. I'm a worthless idiot who spends his days fighting endlessly without a clear objective...what if I end up doing the same to you?"

"Mikey, don't say that, you know-"

"No, I fucking don't, okay? Every damn day I'm scared that I could turn on everything that I know and love, and I don't want you to go through that"

You could feel a knot in your stomach as you took in his words, each one hurting more that the last. Why would he speak about himself like that? You knew he didn't have an easy life but, turn on everyone? That was far from the reality.

"But-"

"Look, I'm not dealing with this, now or ever. If it bothers you that much, you can leave. I'm not going to put you in any sort of danger, so if you see that as negligence, I don't see us getting any further than this"

That's how he felt.

That's how he felt about the relationship; something to be brushed off so easily in a matter of a few words.

Just a temporary circumstance.

[ererokii]

Line without a Hook || E. Jaeger & J. Kirstein

➳ Jean Kirsten x Fem Reader x Eren Jaeger

Word count: 4,517 Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, cursing ➳ note: this is based off the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery! I’ve been thinking this for a long time and I’m super excited by how it came out! Also big thanks to @reddriot​ for betaing!

➳ Synopsis: is love really worth it? Let me say, it’s not always worth it.

You can hold my hand if no one’s home.

Do you like it when I’m away?

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It starts out simple really. A boy and a girl. Childhood friends, to be precise. Those two are inseparable. Nothing can tear the friends apart, besides their parents, of course. Like two peas in a pod. 

Jean says he knows you like the back of his hand. He truly means that. He knows your favorite boy bands from when you were younger, how many terrible phases you’ve gone through, favorite foods, and places. If he wrote a novel about the things you told him, he would be a renowned author. 

Since kindergarten to now, in the middle of your junior year, you and Jean have been side by side. You told him everything. From random vents and gossiping about the rude girls in your class to how horrible your period cramps were— even though Jean hated hearing about the last, he stuck through it for you.

Only you. 

The pavement that followed the street your house was on is memorable. Jean can recall the amount of times you’ve had races, chalk scribbles covering the grey that would be washed away by the angry neighbors. 

He listens to you as you talk about a kid getting in trouble in your Calculus class, watches how lively your motions are as you speak. Jean can’t help but smile when a laugh slips past your lips and you glance at him. There’s an unknown sparkle in his eyes, one filled with love. 

You haven’t changed one bit, he thinks as he faces back forward, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His mind begins to wander as you both continue down the pavement, part of your routine when school ends. 

Your houses are right next to each other. You’ve been with him since you were in diapers. He was there when your first tooth came out, congratulating you, and you were there for him when he finally learned to ride his bike with two wheels instead of three. 

The bubbly lovable five-year-old back then is the same as you are now. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Oh all my emotions

Feel like explosions when you are around

A sigh of disappointment leaves Jean’s lips when he listens to Connie talk about something he has learned over the weekend (something completely stupid— he just doesn’t care). Currently, the students are at lunch, the cafeteria full with loud shouts and random noises. 

“Connie, shut up,” Sasha groans, placing her water bottle on the table, wiping her crumbs off. “No one cares that you finally figured out how to stick a spoon to your nose.”

“What do you mean?! You were the one who showed me!”

The brunette gasps and looks over his way, cream cheeks tinted with an adorable shade of pink, pointing a finger at him. The bickering between the two commence as Jean listens, slightly amused. 

As much as he indulges in their argument, he can't help but wonder where you are. 

It’s not like you to skip lunch, especially without at least letting him know. Did you stay behind to talk to a friend? A teacher? Maybe you went to the bathroom.

But it’s at least 15 minutes in. 

“Sasha,” he speaks up, slicking back his hair. The sound of her name catches her attention, making her look at him. “Have you seen Y/N?”

“Y/N?” she asks in a whisper before her lips curl in a grin, already knowing why he asked. “Do you miss her?”

“Just answer my goddamn question!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Connie asks, looking between his friends before stopping his gaze on Jean. “Why do you need Y/N?”

“Oh, you know! He lik-”

“Shut up!” Jean shouts, catching the attention of nearby students, his face heating up as his cheeks turn a darker pigment. “Just answer me!”

“If you must know,” she taunts him, twirling a strand of hair from her loose ponytail. “I saw her talking to someone in the hallway. Must be important, she’s been there for quite some time. Might want to be her knight in shining armor and saving her, huh?” she cocks her head to the side, staring at one of the windows in the room, watching as the branches of trees sway from the harsh winds. 

The atmosphere outside was cold, breezes rushing down on anyone who was not inside. The sun was hidden by the thick grey blankets filled with rainwater, waiting to shower the world. The temperature recently has been dropping, mid 50’s at least. The weather was a shock, to say the least. 

“I didn’t know Jean likes her!”

“What do you mean?!” Sasha gasps, turning her body to face her small-minded friend. “It’s only obvious! You must be really stupid then!”

“Well, how could you tell?!”

Before Jean has a chance to interrupt Sasha, she begins to rant. He prefers to stay silent, clasping his hands together in his lap as he lowers his head, finding interest in the marbled tiles of the floor his feet rest on. 

The words that slip past Sasha’s lips reach his ear and out the other. 

It’s easy to tell, Connie. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything? Here you guys are, two close friends, I thought you would have known about his crush. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on every time he ditched plans with us to go hang out with her. He’s whipped, and you’re too stupid to know it. 

His cheeks turn a shade of pink as his eyes squeeze shut, her words replaying in his head like a broken record player. Each sentence is like a knife stabbing away at his brain, causing the slightest ache to form in his frontal region. 

She’s right. Anything she just said five minutes ago, is completely and utterly correct. 

He can still hear her talking about it to Connie, but he can only focus on three sentences that stick to him like glue. 

Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything?

Memories of him helping you in any possible way come to mind. He can’t recall how many times he has entered class two minutes late because you had so much to carry. 

He stares at you like you’re the only thing worth looking at. It reminds him of those cliche animated movies with hearts in the character's eyes. He’s blinded by his love for you, that he never noticed any signs that you don’t feel the same way about him. His heart races miles per hour when you’re around. Sometimes he worries for himself that maybe, his heart might explode within him. 

“Anyway, lunch has about 20 minutes left...where is she?” Connie mutters, scratching the top of his head.

“I don’t know, but,” Sasha grows quiet, listening to the ongoing thunder from the outside. The lights flicker for a second, a couple of yelps emitting from other students, slightly afraid that the power might go off while school is in session. “The storm is almost here.”

“Y/N!” Connie suddenly yells, pointing in the direction of the door, your body jogging closer to the table. “Where have you been?!”

“Sorry!” you laugh, out of breath as you drop your things on the bench, taking a seat beside Jean. “I got caught up in a conversation with someone! I guess I lost track of time for a bit.”

“I messaged you like four times,” Jean mutters, glancing over at you before looking at the table, playing with the plastic straw that he used to drink out of.

“You did?” you ask, pulling your phone out from your pocket, lips puckering when indeed he did so. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t even feel my phone vibrate.”

“Oh, whatever, who cares! Eat! Or I’ll eat your food!” Sasha yells, pointing a finger at you, a smile gracing her features. 

You laugh along with her as you converse with your peers, the conversation you had replaying in the back of your mind. Jean chooses not to intervene, instead would rather listen. 

The roaring thunder plays in the background, everyone paying no mind to it. What he doesn’t know is that the storm is much closer than Jean could have thought. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Listen close, it’s a no

The wind is a pounding on my back

And I found hope in a heart attack

Oh at last, it is past

Now I’ve got it, and you can’t have it

Another evening, another study session, another day of bottling up his feelings until he can no longer hold them inside.

The storm made its way to shore, raining pouring down and even some hail; not what anyone was expecting. 

Jean mindlessly flips through the pages of his English book, not even paying attention to the words as he checks how many pages are in chapter five. 

“This seems pointless,” he adds with a sigh, tossing the book on your bed along with his highlighter he uses to annotate with. “I should just find a summary online or something, I don’t want to read this.”

“And why is that?” you ask, looking up from your book, placing the hardcover against your thighs. “Is it boring to you?”

“No,” he mutters, rolling onto his back. “It’s stupid. This love crap.”

“Well...it is a romance story, the teacher told us when we got the book. But why do you think it’s dumb?”

“He writes letters for her, and in the end, she ends up rejecting him. I don’t think that’s romantic.”

“And? It’s beautiful on his part,” you close your eyes as you stretch your arms over your head, letting out a grunt. “It’s the fact that he wrote to her every day. It’s like he poured his soul into every word. The words he uses are..literally everything. It makes me swoon over him, and he’s not real. Makes me wonder if someone would do that for me.”

Jean’s head perks up at your words, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity when he notices the bashful look on your face, eyes averted to the comforter on your bed. “Why do you have that dopey look on your face?”

“Huh?!” your eyes are blown open as you look over at him. “What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about that, idiot,” he points at your face, watching your eyes cross faintly to stare at his finger. “You’re acting about that guy in the book.”

The patter of the rain is the only noise that fills the void called silence in your room. His warm eyes don’t leave your face at all, waiting for your answer. You’ve been acting weird ever since you were late to lunch this past week. 

He watches your mouth open as if you’ll say something but close it right away, like you were concealing anything you had to hide.

“...well? Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yeah!” you cough into your elbow, running a hand down your face. “I-- you can’t tell anyone.”

“You know I never tell anyone what we talk about.”

You’re silent, a bit too quiet than usual. You fiddle with your fingers before blurting the words that have been eating away at you. 

Jean’s heart stops for a moment, eyes wide in shock when he processes it. His blood runs cold as he’s unable to move, frozen like a statue. The signals in his brain begged him to respond, but he couldn’t. He could hear the faintest sound of bells ringing in his ears; all noise surrounding him was now drowned out by his thoughts. 

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds. 

“You like someone?” he asks in a whisper, barely audible to your ears, but you heard as you nod shyly, biting down on your lip. “Well... who is it?”

“That’s...I can’t say it.”

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m afraid to say it out loud because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.”

Friendship? That could be anyone at this point.

I have to figure out who, he thinks as he draws random patterns into the sheets. “Well, tell me about him then. Is he in our grade?” he asks.

“Yeah, he is. He’s in four of my classes.”

Jean was in four of your classes. Math, English, Foreign Language, and Science. 

“That’s it?”

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Can I finish before you interrupt? Thank you.”

You pause momentarily before speaking again.

“He’s stubborn. I’ve noticed that his demeanor changes when it depends on who he is with. He seems like a hardass and looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered, but he seems like a total softie when he’s with people he loves. Not to mention he’s hot...and tall. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.”

Jean takes every word you say into consideration. He’s stubborn, it seems that he doesn’t like to be around people he doesn’t know but loves those he does know. He knows he’s hot. Practically every day he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about how good he looks.

He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he really seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.

Jean can feel his doubt and worry turn into happiness and confidence as you keep on ranting, to which he’s not fully paying attention anymore. He knows it's him. It has always been him.

No one else.

Jean likes you.

And you like Jean, that’s all there is to it. 

“Do you want to tell him?”

“Yeah...” you trail off, scratching the nape of your neck. “I want to tell him on Friday after school. Do you think he’ll like me back?”

“I think he would. How could he not? He would be a total idiot to reject you.”

You hum at his reassurance, placing your hand on his, squeezing gently.

“Thanks, Jean.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Darling when I’m fast asleep

I've seen this person watching me

Saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”

Tell me, is it worth it?

Friday comes, and Jean can hardly wait for school to end. He’s not paying attention, his eyes constantly staring from the whiteboard in the front to the clock that tauntingly ticks slower than usual. 

He bites down on the pink end of his pencil in anticipation, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor, the noise resonating through the classroom. 

Maybe I should just keep my eyes off the clock, he thinks, lowering his head back to the worksheet their teacher gave the class.

Econ class was a drag. He could care less about the differences in macro and microeconomics, the same with Communism and Capitalism. It’s just a bunch of words that don’t make sense to his brain. 

This was one of the classes he didn’t have with you, the last class. 

Instead of doing his worksheet (luckily, the teacher said it would be for homework if it wasn’t finished), Jean proceeded to think about ways he could tell you his feelings.

He could be old fashioned, tell you how much he adores you and how happy you make him feel when you’re around. How his heart can be heard from the outside of his body, how his hands got warm and clammy, maybe sweaty when he became too nervous.

Or

He could ask you out on a date. Take you somewhere, one of the places you’ve told him in the past that would make a great date for you. He smiles when he thinks about taking you downtown at night, looking at the soft lights that would brighten the streets; loving the sparkle in your orbs as you look around in awe. 

He hums, pleased with himself when he figures out what he’ll do, scratching the back of his ear. 

He wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.

-

You glance at your table partner, looking at his piece of paper before looking down at yours, displeased how his is able to look better than yours. You pick up your eraser, gently wiping the shadings away from your drawing, careful not to crease your paper.

“It’s not that hard you know, you just don’t know how to shade.”

“I know how to shade, Eren,” you reply with a huff, placing your eraser back down. “It’s just...this is a bit harder than usual.”

“All you have to do is follow the markings,” he presses the edge of his drawing pencil against the reference photo both of you are using, tracing the shape of it. “You could honestly just copy the photo, I doubt this woman would even notice.”

You chuckle at his choice of words, shifting in your seat to get comfortable. “I don’t think she would anyway. She just stares at it and calls it an A. I bet for our expressive project, she wouldn’t notice if we copied each other.”

He shakes his head with a smile, the loose strands of his hair swaying with his head movement. “No, she wouldn’t,” he rolls the sleeves of his hoodie to his elbows, grabbing his pencil again. “Then again, we are working on it with each other.”

“Speaking of that, what should we do?”

“Up to you, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’m just trying to pass this stupid class anyway.”

You relish in the silence between you as you gaze at him from your peripheral. You take notice how his hair frames his face effortlessly to the dip in his nose. It’s perfect how it forms to his cupid’s bow to his lips; not too big nor too small either. Just right. 

You clear your throat, scratching at the nape of your neck. “Why not do...stages of love?”

That catches his interest.

“Stages of love?” he asks, moving in his chair to face you, a hand propping his head up. “Elaborate?”

“Like you know...how we gain a crush on someone. We like how they make us feel, and soon we think about them some more. Maybe make little scenarios in our head. Then we gain the crush and want to be around them. You know what I mean, right?”

He’s silent, hues that represent the blue of rivers, boring into your own. At first, you think he hates your idea, but then the corner of his lips curls into his infamous grin. “Yeah, I like that. Did you have anything else in mind?”

“Maybe...rejection?”

“Rejection?” he repeats, a bit shocked at how romantic your words were, to something filled with sadness. “And why would you want to do rejection?”

“W-Well,” you stutter, unsure how you should put it. “Everyone always talks about the good in love but never the bad. And I think it could be done good, you know?”

He hums, scratching away at his chin before nodding. “Yeah, alright. That sounds oddly specific, but I like it. We can honestly get started soon, that way, we can finish faster and not worry about it.”

His smile throws you for a loop, your face heating up as you pick up your pencil, trying to distract yourself. 

“Say, Y/N?”

“Yes, Eren?” you reply a bit too quickly, cursing yourself out internally for sounding too desperate. 

“Can we talk?” his cheeks are a shade of pink, his eyes averted as he plays with one of the strings of his hood, reminding you how a child would distract themselves. The tips of his shoe nudge against yours, barely kicking gently.

“Aren’t we talking right now?”

“No, I mean after school.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer

Watching over me, he’s singing, 

Jean storms out of his Econ class with a grin, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack as he looks down one end of the hallway before going down the other direction. The art room was three classes down his. Usually, Jean will wait right there by the door for you since you take ages to finally leave the classroom. 

When Jean finally reaches the room, he sees that the doors are locked, and the lights inside are off.

Huh, that’s weird, you’re always one of the last to leave, nor are you ever this early. 

He stands there for a few more seconds, peering in through the small glass, and sees nothing before taking a step back and quickly continues to walk down the hall. His legs are quicker, going down the two flights of stairs. 

His eyes frantically search for the yellow shirt you wore, unable to find you anywhere. 

“Sasha!” he calls out once he reaches the end of the stairs, running towards the girl and their friend, who was at the lockers, pulling things she needed to take home for the weekend. 

The brunette looks over her shoulder, stopping her conversation with Connie as she shuts her locker. “Yeah, Jean?”

He pants, leaning on his knees before letting out a deep breath and standing straight up. “Have you seen Y/N?”

She ponders for a while before shaking her head, looking over at Connie, who shakes his head, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her since Art class.”

“You didn’t see where she went at all?”

The events before class ending play in her mind before she gasps, snapping her fingers, pointing up at Jean. “Yeah, I know where she went!”

“...are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?!”

She mocks him for a second before pulling her phone out. “I could have seen her leave with Eren. I think they went to the bench in the back. You know the one I’m talking about?”

He’s taken aback for a moment before shaking his head, retaining the information. “Alright, thanks.”

Why would you even be with Eren right now? You never meet with him after-

“Are we still on for this weekend?!” Connie yells when Jean is making his way down the corridor.

“Yeah, we are!” Jean's voice travels through the air, reaching both of his friends, hands clammy as they’re shoved in the front pocket of his pants. 

The walk to the back courtyard was tiresome. His feet seemed to drag behind him, an aching feeling forming in his gut. Thoughts pounded against his skull repeatedly, trying to force him to stop. He wants to stop, but he has to go.

He has to tell you he loves you. 

He can’t help but smile when you describe the boy you like this week. In his mind and most certainly his heart, he was the king of the world sitting on his high horse as he screamed in victory, letting the whole world know that the person he likes, feels the same way about him. 

The fresh air from the outside meets his nostrils as he deeply inhales, allowing it to enter his body before exiting. The sun is the first thing he meets with as he exits the building, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes away from the harsh light. He mutters something under his breath as he looks around for a second. 

“She’s a,

She’s a lady and I’m just a boy”

His honey orbs finally stop on a bench where you and Eren are seated, that’s not too far away, but his body is hidden from your view. He lets out a sigh of relief, leaves crunching underneath his feet as he walks, not taking long strides, rather walking slow to rethink what he’ll say.

“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a long...no,” he mutters, stopping in his tracks as he looks down at the green grass and leaves, kicking away at them. “I’ve loved- no, that sounds a bit aggressive, goddammit,” he groans, tugging at the roots of his hairs. “Why is this so fucking hard?!” he growls underneath his breath, leaning against the brick wall. 

He never was anything else but honest with you. How could he say it?

What if this ruins your relationship?

...what if you liked Eren?

His breath hitches in his throat when realization dawns on him. His lips part, a soft exhale releasing from within him. His fingers curl around nothing, as if he was holding the air’s hand. The tips of his fingers shake, his whole body stiffening as he stares hard at nothing. 

How could he be so stupid?

It all made sense now. How you stayed behind during lunch that one time without saying anything; in the back of his mind that day, he knew that someone had to be a boy, maybe a girl. Even then, you would always let him know. 

Jean should have known from the beginning that you only saw him as a brother. 

His chest aches as his vision goes blurry, biting down on the inside of his lip to the point where he can taste the bitter metallic on his tongue. He squeezes his eyes shut before opening, wishing he hadn’t at that moment. 

He’s singing

“She’s a, she’s a lady and I am just a line without a hook.”

His heart breaks, stomach-dropping when he sees Eren’s hand brings you closer to his body, lips pressed up against yours; your hand placed on his cheek, cradling his face. Even from where he stands, he can sense the urgency in the kiss, how your bodies move together as one, how your fingers grip onto him like he’ll leave any moment. 

His lower lip quivers for a second, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing his throat. Jean cranes his neck upward, looking at the sky, muttering the words, “Why him?” over and over like a mantra, no other words coming to mind. 

When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. Not Eren, just you. Those moments where you laugh, cry, or stay silent, those are the moments that flash in his head.

Did he do something to you? Was it something he said?

Did you ever like him at all?

“It’s pointless,” he whispers, pushing himself off the brick wall, immediately making a beeline for the doors. He swallows harshly, legs moving faster than ever, wanting to get out of this hell hole called reality. 

Like every day, you’ll walk down the same pavement you’ve been walking on for years.

Only this time, he’s walking alone. 

Oh, and if I could take it all back

I swear that I would pull you from the tide. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

taglist: @sleepysnk @jaegerbomb20​ @reddriot​ @kkiimmberly​ @kingtamakimurder​ @tamasoft​ @byougen​ @spike-this-ass​ @crimsonbows-and-arrows​ @squidonmywall​ @thicmitten​ (message me to be apart of it!)

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

[scorpionyx9621]

Robins at the Airport

So a fun fact about IRL me is that I work in shipping & logistics and I work closely with a lot of the major airlines as both vendors and customers. And it had me thinking. How do the Robins fly? (And no I don't mean with their suits lol)

Also I'm aware that Bruce is a billionaire. Bruce without a shadow of a doubt has not only a private jet but access to a lot of personal travel supplies. That being said, even though some of our boys have definitely flown on Bruce's jet. I have no doubt since most of them are adults now, if they wanna travel they're probably flying commercial.

I'm also a filthy ♌ Leo Sun ♌ and fire signs stereotypically love to travel. So! Here's the Robins and their travel traditions.

Tim Drake

Tim is interesting because he, like Damian, actually grew up with money. Like. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce.

Tim likes to travel and has flown everything from small little turboprops to big commercial jets to his family's and Bruce's private jet.

I feel if Tim is going commercial he's that guy who arrives at the airport 4 hours before his flight. He's catching a 7pm flight? Expect Tim to be there at 3pm.

He's that person who can find an outlet by his gate, get some overpriced airport coffee and/or food at a standard fast food restaurant, and wait down the time for his plane to arrive.

Tim dresses pretty smartly but casually. Usually a button up and some jeans with some tennis or boat shoes that are easy to slip off in security.

I don't think Tim sleeps on planes easily unless it's a red-eye. But he does just spend his time on his phone or on his laptop either watching movies or doing coding to kill time.

Dick Grayson

Prior to inheriting all that fortune from Alfred Dick loved to travel and loves airports. Both for the people watching and the jet-set atmosphere.

Traveling around alot as a child helped out with that. The Flying Grayson's almost always traveled by car so anytime Dick gets to go on a plane he gets excited.

Dick has a fascination with Technology and I can certainly see Dick being a low-key Avgeek. Seeing how these huge planes carry hundreds of people across the sky through feats of human engineering is something that makes him smile.

That being said Dick is not often on time for traveling. He always either shows up WAY too early or he's sprinting through security because his flight departs in 45 minutes and he just got to the airport.

Hell even when Dick is EARLY he ends up running late for his flights because he always ends up eating at a restaurant/bar post security with the best views of the planes and loses track of time.

Dick has missed many a flight/connection because he gets lost in the moment much fo Bruce's chagrin. Granted dropping a couple hundred to rebook Dick at a moments notice is literally just a minor hindrance for billionaire Bruce Wayne.

That being said, more than once, Bruce has had to call a charter for a private jet to pick up Dick when he got stuck at an airport and he HAD to be on the last flight out from San Francisco to Newark or Gotham.

Dick can sleep on a plane no problem. None. It's one of the few times he does ever get truly good, restful sleep. Much to the shock of everyone.

Dick always wears something athletic for flights. Usually sweats or compression pants and a hoodie with tennis shoes. He always carries his Nightwing outfit in his carry-on though much to the chagrin of his family.

Damian Wayne-Al Ghoul

BRAT

He's that person I, myself, would hate at an airport. He demands to fly private all the time because he can't be bothered to deal with the riff-raff of us poors.

He gets better as he gets older though. He still demands to fly first class at a BARE minimum and will give Bruce hell for it regardless.

Damian may be a bit snobbish when it comes to trying restaurants but he always wants to eat before he gets on a plane because plane food is gross to him.

He's fine most times though. Like Tim if you plant him in front of an outlet and give him a sketchpad and/or his video games/manga he'll be fine.

On a flight he's always very respectful to the flight staff but he will use them for what they're worth. He takes full advantage of all the perks he's given. He's not old enough to drink but he certainly will take advantage of the snacks he can get (Damian insists on flying Delta because he loves the Biscoff cookies. He doesn't like many sweets, but Biscoff cookies are his weakness.)

Damian is way too vigilant to sleep on a flight. Even if it's a red eye and even if he's flying private. He just can't seem to find a way to be comfortable.

Damian is like Dick, casual and comfortable in dress. It's an airport not a gala.

Jason Todd

So fun fact: we actually have a canon representation of Jason on a regular flight from Red Hood & The Outlaws!

Boy literally wore a blazer on a flight while Roy wore a freaking Tank Top lmao. And he was uncomfortable with Roy's behaviors but flirted with a flight attendant and one of my personal favorite minor characters/love interests in Red Hood's lore, Isabel Ardila.

Jason is also like Dick in that he actually really enjoys traveling. That being said, being legally dead and not on Bruce's best terms means Jason's a well-versed economy traveler.

I read somewhere that Jason has a small personal fortune from the assassinations he's done. But I think he still chooses to fly economy when he can. He sees flying first class as unnecessary and would rather use airline miles for free tickets than free upgrades.

Is a master of getting crap past the radar (it's called checked bags friends. Also if Jason needs to move heavier firepower he knows it's easier to just ship that shit ahead of him.

He's like Damian in that he gets everything he can out if a service. Free pretzels? You bet. Complementary drink? Give him a coke with extra ice (it's canon he likes extra ice in his drinks)

He's always extra nice and polite to all the flight staff and any TSA he sees because Jason knows he's a monster and has to work extra hard to blend in.

[deans-mind-palace]

Conversations in the Dark

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Summary: Nothing’s real what happens in the dark. That’s what your mother told you about nightmares. But you’re hunter and you know that nightmares exist in the daylight, too. Your relationship with Cas isn’t always easy. However, in moments of doubt it’s good you have each other. Because that’s all that really matters.

Word Count: 2,496

Warnings: A lot of angst, fluff and some snoring Winchesters

Author’s Note: This fic is based on the new song ‚Conversations in the dark‘ by John Legend. It is a present for the 200 followers celebration. Show it some love. <3

Like always, my tag lists are OPEN!!!

Wanna read more? Have a look here: Masterlist

"So guys, that's it. We're all exhausted and there's no motel the next few miles. Guess, we have to stop here." Dean announced as he drove the Impala off the road and into a parking lot. The gravel crunched under the tires as soon as the car came to a halt and the engine purred until Dean pulled the key out of the ignition hole and ran over his eyes in exhaustion. The radio died down and for a moment there was silence in the car. Sam yawned and tried to fold his long legs comfortably in the passenger seat. Another night he had to spend sitting. Alone at the thought of the back pain he pulled a face. Dean stretched out his legs and leaned back in his seat as best he could. Cas sat with you in the back seat. You were as exhausted as the two brothers and could only keep your eyes open with difficulty. Your head rested on Cas' shoulder for some time. Gently his deep voice reached you.

"Come on, Y/N. You're tired, let's get some sleep." When he said "us", he really meant you, because the angel did not sleep. But since your relationship he had gotten into the habit of spending the nights with you, even if that meant he had to fold up with three other people in a car just to be at your side. You gave him a tired smile when you finally lay on the seats. The bench was not very broad and Cas held you tightly wrapped so you wouldn't slide into the footwell. Soon you had found a more or less comfortable position. Your legs were entangled and his hand rested on your back, while he pressed you against his chest. His chin rested against your forehead and your hands lay on his chest. He smiled at you through the darkness and his stubble scratched your skin. His teeth shone bright in the darkness. From the front seats you could already hear the brothers' steady breathing. They were fast asleep.

Talk Let's have conversations in the dark World is sleeping, I'm awake with you With you Watch Movies that we've both already seen I ain't even looking at the screen, it's true I got my eyes on you

You sighed contentedly and your gaze slipped out of the window of the Impala. While lying down, you could see the bright stars in the night-black sky. You were so far away from the nearest town that the sky was perfectly clear. Purple, pink and blue blended into a single work of art, interwoven with small white stars. "Cas. Look! Look at the stars! Aren't they beautiful?" you breathed happily and he could clearly hear the admiration in your voice. You beamed at the sight of the stars. Cas hummed. He had not even looked out the window. His eyes were only on you. How beautiful you looked. How the moon cast a shadow over your face and made your skin shine silvery. How your eyes sparkled in the dark and you bit your lip. "Hm, right." he muttered, but his gaze never left your face.

And you say that you're not worth it You get hung up on your flaws Well, in my eyes you are perfect As you are

"Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than the night sky? Anything more magical?" you asked as you continued to dreamily look up at the stars. Cas knew God's creation by heart. He had seen the stars countless times before, he was there when they were created. They were beautiful, but they could not keep up with you. You were the most beautiful thing God had ever created and he was grateful for every day he was allowed to spend at your side. You cast a spell over Cas with your very own magic. "Nothing is more beautiful than the stars," you whispered into the silence with fascination. "Yes, you," he replied honestly and his voice rumbled deep in his chest. You looked at the angel and smiled. "Charmeur." Your fingers gently stroked his cheek before kissing him. Your hand found his and you crossed your fingers while you looked up into the stars together and hung on to your thoughts.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

He loved your fascination, even for the little things. With such devotion you did the things you loved. Your selflessness. You would die for him or the brothers without hesitation. Your silence. You could sit for hours during a thunderstorm in a rundown hotel room, staring out the window, lost in thought, with his head in your lap and your fingers gently combing through his brown hair, while a pleasant silence reigned and you listened to nature. After a failed hunt you would tell him stories from your childhood until he would lie calmly with you in his arms. Even if that meant you had to make up stories. Castiel loved so many little things about you. How you would always let Dean pick the television channel to avoid a fight. How you always sang or whistled in the shower. How your nose turned up when you bit into a slice of your favorite pizza.

You were perfect. And Castiel loved you for who you were. "What's your greatest secret, Cas?" you asked, turning your head so your beautiful eyes met him. You looked at him questioningly. Cas didn't have to think long. "That I love you." And with a smile on his face, he watched you frown at that answer. "But it's no secret. Dean and Sam know." you muttered, and your eyes looked at him big and innocent. He laughed softly at your amazement. "That's right. But only I will ever know how much I really love you, because words don't even begin to describe it." The angel gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead. You loved it when Cas was like that. It was a side of Castiel that was reserved for you, that he showed only to you. Only with you was this quiet angel so open and soulful. Only with him did you feel complete.

Suddenly a shooting star was streaming across the dark night sky. You closed your eyes and made a wish. "What is your greatest wish, sweetheart?" mumbled Cas near your ear and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. You embarrassingly bit your lip and avoided his gaze. "I - no, it's silly. It was a stupid wish I shouldn't have made. Forget it." You shook your head and looked ahead at your sleeping brothers as you felt Cas's fingers gently lift your chin and turn it towards him. "If this is your wish, it can't be stupid, Y/N." His blue eyes searching for yours and you saw the seriousness in them. You swallowed nervously and nodded slightly. You'd never told anybody about your biggest dream. Not even the person you loved most on this earth.

On Sunday mornings we sleep-in 'til noon Well, I can sleep forever next to you Next to you And we We got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you

"I wish the apple pie life for us, Cas. I wish it so much. We could travel the country like normal people and stay in a place we like. We'll look for a little house in a beautiful area where the neighbours have barbecues and celebrate the Fourth of July together. We could make the house cosy and I could grow yellow tea roses in the front garden. Maybe we would have a dog. And a spacious kitchen where we could cook together. Maybe we could plant tomatoes in the garden. And never motel beds again! We'd have our own cozy bedroom. On rainy days we wouldn't even get up, but just listen to the rain pattering against the windows while I'm in your arms. On Sundays, we'd sleep in and I'd make us pancakes." As you talked, Cas closed his eyes and imagined every single scene you described.

How Cas carried you over the threshold of a small house and your eyes sparkled with joy. How your face and hands were encrusted with dirt, yet you grinned at him broadly. How you lay in his arms and his gaze followed the raindrops running down the window. How you stood in his shirt in the kitchen in the morning, making a mess to make pancakes.

There were scenes that put a smile on his face and he felt his heart longed for this life. It was a life you could never have, but with you at his side he dared to dream. He dared for a moment to give himself to the illusion of a normal life.

When Cas opened his eyes again, he saw other stars fall from the sky. Shooting stars were speeding across the sky. It was a night of the wishes.

And you say that you're not worth it And get hung up on your flaws But in my eyes you are perfect As you are As you are

If you were honest, you didn't know what you were wishing for. Like so many hunters of the supernatural, you had never led a normal life and had no idea what you were talking about. You noticed that Cas' smile slipped a little when you first made your wish. Of course it was bullshit. That's why you kept your wish to yourself. You swallowed. It was just one of your nonsense, that's all.

It wasn't the first time that you realized that you would never be married or have children. On some days the thought of spending the rest of your life with salt and corpses seemed unbearable. There would never be a normal life for you. Your boyfriend was an angel. A powerful, superhuman being who could end your life with a snap of his fingers if he wanted to. Cas would never be able to live like a human being. He was immortal, you just a human. You would not grow old together. His body would age, but his spirit could not decompose. One day, you would die, and Castiel would be left behind alone. The thought would make your heart contracted in pain. Cas read your mind, and he pulled you closer.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

"I'm sorry I can't be the one you want me to be. That I can't give you the life you want to live." You looked at him with those big eyes. "And if you want me to go, I will, Y/N. All you have to do is send me away because I'm not strong enough. But it's selfish to take away your chance at a normal life." His voice trembled. "Cas, don't you ever say that again, do you hear me?" you said startled. "But-" You gently put your finger on his lips, and he looked at you insecurely as he fell silent. "My life is not normal, Castiel. Never has been, never will be. But, Cas, any life is a good life as long as you're by my side. I love you, and I would never want to change anything about you. You are my angel. Literally. Don't let them tell you different." He nodded hesitantly.

"All these things. They mean nothing to me if it means you're not by my side. That we have moments like this." Your hand was on Cas' chest above his heart and you felt the excited pounding beneath. He pressed a kiss against your temple and together you looked up at the stars again. "I wouldn't trade this moment of lying here with you, philosophizing about life as we contemplate the stars, for anything in the world. You are what matters, Cas. You make my life worth living, Castiel. Don't break my heart," you whispered softly into the darkness of the night, as if the stars could hear your words and carry them out into the world, until the last man knew that you and the angel were one.

When no one seems to notice And your days, they seem so hard My darling, you should know this My love is everywhere you are

"You know I'll always be with you and go with you every step of the way. I will follow you wherever you go. I'll look at the stars with you until the end of time if that's what you want." Suddenly he looked embarrassed and your fingers were combing through his brown hair. For a moment there was silence between you, while you waited for Cas' next words. From the front seats still sounded faint breathing and Dean murmured softly as he turned.

"I'm happy as long as you are." He finally said. His warm breath brushed across your ear and made you shiver. His deep voice echoing in your mind. "And I am happy when you are by my side. Until the end of time." "Until the end of time," the angel repeated, intertwining your fingers over his heart with his.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

For some time you remained lying there in the silence and enjoyed the closeness of the other. Until dawn you looked at the stars shooting across the sky. You made wishes for the well-being of Cas, Dean and Sam. It was night of the wishes, after all, and tonight everything seemed to be possible. Maybe your wishes would be heard. You watched the sky change from deep black to stormy blue to dreamy purple to soft pink to fiery orange. It was the image of your feelings. The light of the stars faded as a new day began. And it was a good day because Castiel was with you and every day with Castiel was a good day. Because it had been a silent promise.

I won't break your heart

@zizzlekwum​

@rintheemolion​

@shypickleghostsuitcase​

@intoomuchfandoms​

@angeltardisbow​

@ayamenimthiriel​

@mimzy1994​

@assbuttyourlife​

@vicmc624​

@everyobsession9023​

@tokiohearts483​

@fortheentries​

@aberrant-annie​

@lust-for-pan​

@thewintersoldierswife​

@transparentfestivaltiger​

[ziracona]

Julie thoughts untainted by the new lore please? I'm not even a Julie fan but I can't with it

Memory #1482

Julie Strand wakes up and looks at the textured paint on her ceiling. It’s funny how she can do this. Waking up completely alert. No grogginess, no haze, no lingering in the dream. She often feels clearest right when she wakes up, though. It’s just part of who she is.

She sits up on her bed, and looks at the dresser in her little loft room. The jewelry boxes, and mirror, and makeup set up in lines. The picture of her and Susie from last year framed there. Every year they take a new one. Slide it in front of all the rest. A whole stack of little yearlong histories. Julie looks around at the wood floor and the door with the dropdown stairs that lead to the rest of the house. A princess in a tower. That’s how her dad described the setup to her as a little girl. Now when he calls her a princess, he says it in a very different voice. It’s not a compliment anymore.

There are other things in the room, and she takes them in. A radio, stacks of her little notebooks with songs. A guitar she never actually learned to play. A keyboard that Susie did, housed here to keep from annoying her folks. Empty dreams. She used to be so sure where she was going. What she was going to do. Who she was. Gonna be a star.

And Julie still dreams about that. Getting out. Being a singer, being everything, being big, and real. But she’s starting to suspect that’s not the way the world really works.

Julie looks down at herself. At the underwear and tanktop, considering her legs and thinking about how she’d thought when she started to get taller that being pretty would help those dreams. But she’s starting to be afraid that’s not going to be enough either. That maybe nothing ever was going to be enough, for the way the world really works.

A snowball hits her window.

Julie sits up in her bed and walks over to her windowseat and leans out to see, already knowing who it is. And there she is. With some dark blue streaks in her hair and a huge fluffy coat, grinning up and waving. Susie. Julie grins. She blows on the cold window so it fogs and writes, “What?” backwards so Susie can read it, and Susie motions. “Come here.” Julie rolls her eyes and nods. What the hell. She didn’t have plans. She rarely does.

Julie heads out the front door wearing a long purple coat and some dark jeans, hiking boots and gloves. Susie is waiting, gives her a ski cap because Julie always forgets to bring one.

“Where are we going?” asks Julie.

“It’s a surprise!” says Susie, “But it’s gonna be a long walk.”

“Okay,” says Julie, amused. She follows. Susie does this sometimes, when she can tell Julie is down, or distracted, sometimes even before Julie has been able to tell. Will pull some little stunt. Shoplift her a gift, mix her a new tape, find a little adventure. Maybe it’ll be fun.

They walk for hours. Down roads Julie is familiar with and ones she isn’t. Susie’s brought a map, but she won’t let Julie look at it. She’s very sure where they’re going, but Julie has no idea. It’s fun though. It’s meaningless, but it’s bright out, and they walk along people’s rock walls, balancing with their arms out, and weave among snow drifts by the road, watch birds and clouds and people pass. Susie asks her if she’s ever thought about writing about different places, and Julie runs that idea through. They talk about what a song about Ormond might even be. Susie says it’d be angry, and lists off things they both hate. Julie argues it would be claustrophobic and trapped instead, not enough passion for anger. Talks about the days and how long they get, about how guy after guy gives her the same line and same first kiss in the back of a car, the same empty dinner conversations with her parents each night that turn into silence and tension over the table. She thinks maybe she says a little too much, because Susie looks worried, and changes topics, and it gets light again. Julie suggests that a song about Ormond would have to be not about Ormond, but about what it could be like to really be worth singing at all, and they talk for an hour about what they’d do if the whole town was theirs. If everything was. They laugh at the idea of a gym left open to the cold and filled with ice sculptures, and Julie suggests the only people allowed to stay with them should be dogs. Susie makes a convincing case for the town’s cats and one pet rat, and Julie concedes.

It’s been about three hours, Julie thinks, when Susie checks her map excitedly and grabs Julie’s hand. “Come on!” she shouts with new excitement, and Julie does. Running like they’re fleeing a search party, breaths coming in sharp and cold, every ounce of strength in her footfalls. “Wait, wait, wait!” Susie shoots out a hand and stops her, and Julie pinwheels her arms, then comes to a stop, breathing hard.

“What?” she asks. There’s nothing. Just more road, but Susie’s beaming.

“Let me pick you up!”

“Why?” says Julie, amused and confused.

“It’s a secret! Please?” begs Susie.

“Okay,” says Julie with a laugh, and she holds her arms out to her sides.

Susie isn’t very strong, but she grabs her around the legs, and lifts her like a rolled rug, wheezing a little. She teeters forward, one step at a time, breathing hard while Julie laughs at the dangerously deep sways that could end with them both in the road. Susie is looking at the side of the road. They pass a marker, and Susie grins, and takes one more step, then lets her go.

“Hah!” says Susie, beaming, “I told you I’d do it!”

“What?” says Julie, cocking her head.

“I got you out of Ormond,” says Susie proudly.

Julie stares, and things click, and she looks over at the mile marker.

“This is officially Drinnan!” says Susie in excitement, proud, “And I got you out, like I told you I would when we were eight. You said I never would for real, but I just did!” She’s so proud. She places her hands on her hips and dares Julie to challenge her.

Julie’s throat feels tight in a way it almost never does. Choked up, maybe, she thinks, even though Julie rarely cries. “You did,” says Julie, smiling at her, “You’re good on your word.”

“Don’t think this means I’m trying to weasel out,” says Susie, “I’m gonna get you out again, and I promise right now, but no matter what else happens, we’ve been out before, and we can do it again.” She turns and gestures to the big open road ahead of them and the blue sky and green pines lining the road like a procession. “Make it out there anywhere. It’s easy, see?”

“Thank you,” says Julie, pulling her into a hug, “You’re really wonderful, you know that?” She can smell the chemicals in Susie’s hair. She must have dyed it last night. You’ve been feeling shitty too.

“I only did it because you’re the most amazing person there is,” says Susie, hugging back.

“I’ll remember this,” promises Julie, eyes shut, “We made it out. So we’ll get out again after school and go somewhere, I’m sure.”

“Or we could just keep going,” says Susie quietly.

Julie opens her eyes and looks at her. Susie looks so desperately hopeful, and a little sad.

“We could keep walking, and end up somewhere different tonight, and never go back,” says Susie.

Julie watches her for a second and then smiles softly. “We could.”

Susie knows that’s a no, and her expression falls a little, and she looks at the road by her feet. It hurts a little. Julie looks at the road ahead and thinks about what it would be like to keep walking. But she’s afraid now, that that’s not how the world works.

[kileyrose-2003]

Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader: Intro

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is the beginning of the fic I posted about earlier during the week that is going to be revolved alot around Rose. How many parts It'll turn out being, I don't know. Most of this fic, I'm doing in pretty big detail and I've never written anything like this before.

I am going on a date on Valentine's Day to most likely see Birds of Prey and from what I've heard about it, my sappy Bisexual heart already has a soft spot for Harley Quinn and Roman Sionis so I probably will begin accepting request for them as well as the Dr. Sleep characters I already write for. (Doctor Sleep Request are still open) I do have 2 Rose the Hat request am I working on rn. Anyways, Criticism is welcome on this one. I hope you enjoy and all is well.

Warnings: Child abuse, sexual tension, mentioned violence against children, gore, kidnapping, the usual.

Key: Dragă is the equivalent to sweetheart in Romanian

1980:

SNAP! Rose the Hat removed the top from one of their many full cannisters. "Eat well, live long," She whispered amorously before members of The True pushed her out of the way to get a whiff of their freshest thing of steam.

She stepped back, crossing her arms as she watched The True feast. This one's name was Anthony and she could remember juiceness in the taste of his steam. Yet, she didn't want him.

She missed the feel of the hunt and seeing the steamheads squirm underneath her. Rose felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and she smiled at Crow, kissing the crook of his neck. "Aren't we quite frisky?"

"Just in love with you." He kissed her cheek and rubbed up and down her sides. "Crow.." Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "I want you Rosie..only if you're okay with it, of course."

"You idiot, you already know the answer to that question." She smashed her lips against his and the two of them stepped into her trailers.

The noises coming from her RV were not unfamiliar to anyone who belonged to The Knot. When all was said and done, the two laid in each other's arms. Having their typically late night talks.

"There's not as much steam." Rose rolled her eyes into the back of her head. "Oh please don't be daft." She rolled over and buried her head in his bare chest. "We have three empty cannisters, not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. That's all time low for us and the kids now are being taught the whole stranger danger things. It's not as easy to lure them in."

"Well then what do you suppose we do about it? Without turning anyone." Rose looked him in the eye.

"Well, I've been thinking about it for a while...I have an idea but I don't know if you're going to want to hear it. It's a little..unorthodox." Rose raised a brow and chuckled. "Oh? Do tell because now I'm curious.

"You're going to think I'm insane, Rosie." She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you of all people know I've seen it all. Just be honest and tell me."

"What if we got a baby or a kid?" He fiddled around with his hat. Rose had to fight the urge to laugh. "A baby? What the fuck would we both do with a baby?"

"Well not exactly a baby but look, I was thinking most rube children typically tend to relate to other rube children better than adults."

"And?"

"And what if we got a child, a particularly steamy one, to help us get what we need?" Rose thought about it for a moment. "That beats the whole point of not turning anyone though. Because I know you well enough to know that eventually you will get attached to it and you'll end up wanting to turn it."

"Rosie, they wouldn't be an it. They would be family. By the time they would be old enough to be turned the cannisters would be full and she-"

"She?" Rose questioned. "Assuming it's a girl. They don't have be a girl but anyways, by that point all the cannisters would be full because we'd have them to help us find the steamheads and it wouldn't be an issue turning them because we'd have such an easier time finding steam."

Rose sighed rubbed her face. "I don't know..it's just- Crow, I'm not fit, no- we're not fit to raise children. We kill them, Crow!"

"I know but we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Worse case we wipe the kid's mind and everything goes back to normal or we kill 'em."

Rose stared deeply into Crow's eyes and pulled his face close to her's. "I'll think about it." She kissed the top of his head and looked up at the clock on the wall. "The rubes are probably wondering when they'll hear from you. Time you get ready to get on the road, big man."

"I know," He groaned and stood up, kissing the top of her. "Just think about it?" Rose made a humming noise and kissed his hand before watching him walk away.

Rose actually did think about it for a while before bringing up the matter with the Grampa Flick while Crow was away on business and the others were asleep.

"Well..it could be worth a shot. It's really up to you though, Rosie." She took a sip of her tea. "I'm not asking for pros and cons. I want to know what you think I should do."

He gripped his cane in his hand and sighed. "I think it's worth a shot. Even if it doesn't work out, we still do end up with extra steam and it's not like we hurt for money, Rosie."

"You're sure?" Rose held her hands in his. "I'm positive." She looked him up and down as if she was analyzing him. "Okay." She stood up from the lawn chair and kissed the top of Flick's head. "You won't mention anything to Crow when he comes back and make sure the rest of the family doesn't either?"

"Not a word," He coughed. "Not a word." She nodded and smirked as she walked away.

About two days after that conversation, Rose began her search for the perfect fit for The Knot. The first two weeks she hit nothing but finally she found something.

Just outside of a resort area in Colorado, Rose discovered a small row of cookie cutter homes located on the beginnings of a mountain. While she thought the houses were very rube like, she paid them no mind. What interested her more was what laid beyond those homes.

Farther up the road if you made a left, there was a long dirt driveway that after about a mile or two, lead up to a large cabin.

At first the house seemed like nothing but ordinary at first glance but to people who shined the way The True Knot did, it was a light shining to the moths searching meaninglessly in the dark.

Hardly anyone ever came in and out of the house and took Rose over a week to actually pin you as the steamhead in the house since you did have an older brother.

You were different from the rest of your family. "Special," Rose heard your mother mutter to you one night as she tucked you though she didn't have to be in her head to know special was not the word she was actually thinking of.

She was scared of you. Your whole family was scared of you and Rose couldn't understand why. You never were particularly domineering with your gifts and you always obeyed everything they asked of you. Even staying out of there heads when they felt their minds going adrift yet, they were terrified of you.

Rose watched you for weeks, constantly consulting back and forth with Grampa Flick about whether you'd be a good fit for a group. You didn't seem to notice though, as you were preoccupied with other things in your home life and wanted nothing but to hear from at least either of your parents that they loved you.

The one night in particular, Rose got to have a front row seat on your pain. She sat up on a tree branch, swinging her legs back and forth as she stared intensely at your bedroom window. The rest of the house was dark but your room was lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Now do you see why we're so stressed out?!" Your silhouette came into view from the light colored curtains shrouding your window and Rose could make out the outline of a male much taller than standing across from you.

"I-i'm sorry, daddy!" You screamed, terror brimming from everything to your voice to your posture. "I-i can't help...I wanna be normal!" You sobbed hysterically. "Come on, dad. She can't help she is, the way she is."

"Quiet, son!" Rose shook her head, still keeping her eyes fixed you. "Fucking rubes," She muttered under her breath.

Your father's fiery gaze turned back to you. "Then why can't you be normal?!!" Rose could see him gripping your wrist and closed her eyes as she heard the sound of a hand smacking against flesh followed by a scream. "Dad!" She heard your brother yell followed by another hit, except this time a male cry radiated through the house.

Rose could take no more and began her way back to the jeep as she seen your mother's figure enter view. "What the hell is going on in here?" She could hear from the distance, the further Rose went the more she blocked out the noise.

She got in the car and watched your house for a few moments. The light went out in your room and Rose could hear no more screams. She admitted a sigh of relief and covered her face. She knew it was unhealthy to feel so attached to you. She didn't even know you but that insecurness in your voice reminded her so much of yourself and how lonely she felt when she was younger. Rose had to have you. There was no option.

When Rose shared the news with the rest of The Knot, there was hesitance at first but eventually they gave in. Knowing that she was their leader and they'd do as she intended anyways.

The next couple of days were spent carefully meditating in her RV away from the rest of The Knot and planting little worms your head. While Rose didn't think you would give her much trouble leaving home once she got in your head, she was taking no chances.

The night before she planned on taking you, Crow finally came back from business and Rose still had no intentions of telling him what she was doing. Besides an extra add on steam, she figured she could also use you as sort of a gift to Crow. An 'I'm sorry I don't listen to you and here's me making up for it.'

He knew something up when she refused to speak anyone in The Knot but didn't question it. He figured she was going through one of her moods and decided it was probably best not to say anything to her at all.

The next morning when you woke up, you felt an almost magnetic pull on your body like something or someone wanted your attention from outside. It wasn't a scary pull like the ones from whatever stray lost souls were around. This pull felt warm and safe.

You unbraided your long, Y/c/h and threw on the first dress you seen in your closet before skipping downstairs. "Where do you think you're going?" Your mother called out from the kitchen. "Just to pick some flowers." You made up.

"Don't wander to far, please." You slipped on a pair of sneakers. "I won't. I promise. I'll see you soon, mama." You blew her kiss, hoping she'd return the gesture but the older woman refused to even look at you and you stepped onto your porch dejectedly.

You closed your eyes and focused your attention to the direction of the pull. It came from the woods and you hesitated, thinking of all the ghostie people you seen come from there yet something kept telling you to just go for it.

You walked off towards the edge of the woods, letting your shine be your guide. Even though it was still day, everything was so dark and desolate around you. You felt chills on your arms the further you went and just as you were about to turn around you felt the pull grow stronger, horribly strong.

"Well, hi there!" You jumped at the unexpected voice and spun around to look at Rose. You squeezed your eyes shut, expecting her to morph into one of the ghostie people but she didn't. Rose chuckled and you blushed. "..Hi." You toddled over to the much the taller woman, staring deeply into her gray eyes before she pulled you into a small hug.

The gesture was surprising but it didn't bother you. It was her aura that bothered you. Something was off about her. "I was wondering when you were going to get here." She smiled and held out a flower in her left hand. "Do you want one?"

"Yes please," You hummed in the cutest little voice, getting the feeling that this was a person you didn't want to mess with yet you thought the top hat lady in front of you had to be probably the prettiest person you'd ever seen in your short existence.

Rose smiled and slipped the flower in your hand, but not before taking it gently in her own for a second. "There you are, Y/n." Your eyes widened and Rose chuckled. "What's the matter?"

"You know my name?" Rose smirked self assuredly and ran an empty hand through your hair. "Of course I do! I know everything about you. How else did you think I was able to get you here?" Her tone was questioning but hinted on a doting nature.

You pulled away from her, still a little frightened but Rose gently gripped your wrist. "There's no need to be scared, honey. I'm special, like you." You shook your head, thinking back to what your dad said the other week and looked down a little ashamed. "Oh...I-I'm not special." You tried to deny. "Oh yes, you are. You are a very talented little girl."

(You can hear me can't you, sweetie?)

At first a feeling of panic arose inside you but it sooned bubbled over with excitement.

(I thought I was the only one!)

Rose thought about scolding you over how loud your thought came out but let it go because she too knew how happy she felt the first she knew she wasn't alone.

(You are far from the only one, Y/n. There are alot of other special people out there.)

"My friends..my very, very best friends, they're all special like us. I bet you must have friends who are so magical like you." You shook your head. "No?"

"I don't have alot of friends and my family doesn't think I'm special," You pouted. "That's because they're jealous because not all people can be special like us. Besides, I wouldn't worry about them."

"Why?" You asked sweetly. "Because I'm here to take you away from all that. I'm here to give you a family. Don't you want a family, Y/n?"

"I-i already have a family." The look in Rose's eyes scared you. It was possessive and determined. "But they're not really family though. Tell me dear, when the last time you've heard either of your parents say they love you?" You felt a pang of sadness ringing through you. "I-i should get back to my mom." Rose gripped at your wrist again, this time enough to hurt. "No, no..stay a while. See more magic."

You shook your head and struggled. "Just a fresh new start with your real family. You don't remember me and your daddy?" She held your tiny hand in her's. "No.." You said softly but now you started to question yourself. Maybe you did. Pictures of a man with black hair flashed infront of your eyes. "He loves you so much. We love you so much and we want you to come home with us. You want to come home with." For a moment you found yourself taken back by the warmth and you thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go with her.

"N-no! I can't. I won't-" Rose shushed you, sending you calming waves that started to make you feel tired and sluggish. "Or maybe I-i do wanna go home." You mumbled hesitantly, still trying to keep some grip on reality. "You do want to go home. You're happy to come home."

Every piece of control you had began to fade and your mind went blank. "I-I'm happy." Your mind finally caved and Rose held her arms open to you and you stepped into them. "Good girl. Sleep well, Y/n.." You went limp in her arms and everything went black around you.

By the next hour, any memories you had of your family would be gone and everything you ever knew would be fabrications Rose made up in your head.

Part 1: The True Knot

The fire at The Knot's campground burned bright in the mix of the setting sun when Rose arrived back at home. She stepped out of the Jeep, slinging your stirring form over her shoulder. "Mhh..wha-what's happening?" Rose shushed you and walked down hill with you. "Nothing. We just got home." There was a pause. "Do you know who I am?"

You had to think about it for a moment. "M-mama?" You asked hesitantly. "Yes," Rose hummed and pressed a kiss to your temple.

You heard the crunching of leaves and turned to see people walking towards you. "Mommy?" You whispered nervously and held onto Rose's floral patterned shirt tightly, still feeling some of the residual emptiness from your true upbringing.

"Shh..it's okay, my sweet. They're family and they're just going to watch you for a few minutes. Mommy has someone she has to address in conversation and then I'll come get you. Okay?"

"O-okay." You nodded and let her hand you off to Silent Sarey as she walked off not to far in the distance to one of the larger size trailers, knocking on it before stepping inside.

"Crow?" He looked up from his copy of 'A Clockwork Orange' with a smile. "Yes, Rosie?" She plopped down in his lap. "I missed you." She kissed his ear, nipping at the cartilage. "How the business deal?"

"A waste of my time." He kissed her forehead. "Well, you were out I didn't waste my time." He raised a brow. "What are you playing at?" She smirked and turned her gaze in the opposite direction. "You can let her in now," She called out loudly.

The door to his trailer swung open and shut and you stepped inside. Crow's face went blank and he put a hand up to his chin. "Rosie, what the hell did you-"

Rose grinned and knelt down to your level. "Come here, Y/n. There's someone important I want you to meet."

You obeyed and approached Rose, letting her scoop you up in her arms. The two lovers exchanged glances but nothing was spoken out loud. "This is your daddy, Y/n."

"Hi." You smiled sweetly and Crow cracked a large grin. "Hi honey...Rosie, can I-" Rose nodded and shifted you over to Crow.

At first you tensed up but the closer you snuggled up to him, the more you relaxed. "My little darling." Rose smiled softly as he kissed the top of your head and rocked you in his arms. "I love you so much."

"I love you too daddy." Crow held you in silence for a few more minutes until he attempted to hand you off to Rose. You gripped onto his shirt tightly and buried your head in his chest. "Don't let me go," You begged. You were still so touch starved and he just felt so warm and kind.

Rose was slightly taken aback. You knew her more than Crow yet you were already attached to him. "I won't, I promise." He maneuvered you that way he was cradling you and he rocked you back and forth.

She felt a pang of jealousy growing inside her, feeling slightly threatened that you seemed to like Crow more than her but she didn't let it bother her too much. She had a feeling you were going to be a mommy's and daddy's girl.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, feeling soothed by Crow's presence. "So..are you happy?" Rose asked lowly.

"Very...Rosie?" She made a slight humming noise. "Where'd you find her?" He asked hesitantly. "A little outside the more touristy area of Colorado. The rubes she belonged to are nothing worth writing home about if you catch my drift."

He nodded solemnly. "How-what did you to her to make her-" Her warm grey eyes interlocked with his. "Do you care?" He decided he didn't. Sometimes it was best to not know anything at all.

Part 2: Danny

Your presence in The True Knot did not bring in that much of an increase in steam but you made it much easier to find steamheads which was extremely helpful to Crow in the long run.

No longer did he have to take an extra cannister for himself to find far away steamheads because all he'd have to do is ask you if you felt someone 'special like you,' close by and without knowing any better, you'd always say yes and immediately pointed him in the right direction.

Neither him or Rose let you near the rubes anymore, though. Not that long after Rose brought you home she had you try to lure a little girl over to her but the girl's parents, both big steamheads, knew better.

For you to be gone for a half an hour was normal, maybe even forty five minutes since you were a child after all and barely ever got to see kids your age, let alone like you but an hour was way too long.

What the rubes said or did to you neither Rose or Crow could figure out but the both of them agreed they didn't like the mortified expression on your face or the tears that stained your cheeks afterwards.

The two of them took turns securing their food, that way you wouldn't ever see what exactly it was that they did to your newly made friend but if Crow was being honest with himself, he probably would of admitted somewhere deep down he knew you probably knew the truth of what they did way before he would of liked you to know.

While Rose secured their meal he tried asking you alot of different ways what it was that they said or did to you but you wouldn't say. He let it slide for a while and settled on just comforting you for a while but made sure to bring up again later on when everything was all said and done with their hunt.

"You got to talk to me, Y/n," He tried his hardest to not sound like he was begging as he pulled the covers over your tiny. Rose stood in the corner of the RV and stared as if she was examining everything you said and did.

You shook your head avidly and nuzzled closely to his form. "I can't." He ran his fingers through your hair. "Why not? Honey, you know we're not mad and you're not in trouble."

"Because it would make you and mommy sad and I don't want to make either of you sad." Rose bit down on her lip as Crow thought of a reply. "Baby, you could never-"

"Leave her be, Crow," Rose interrupted. "She's had a long enough of a day and she doesn't need either of us interrogating her. When she's ready to talk about it, she will."

Crow let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay." He shut the light off above your bed and kissed both your cheeks. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night daddy." He ran fingers through your hair one last time before stepping away.

The next morning when you woke up Rose sat across from you on your bed, lazily sipping on her tea. "Good morning, my sweet."

"Morning mommy." She plopped a kiss sloppily into your hair and handed you a cup of tea. "Can I have a little talk with you?" You nodded and set your cup of tea down on the ledge of the window.

You looked Rose deeply in the eyes and she took your tiny hands in her's. "I know you don't want to talk about what happened yesterday but I want you to know that not everything everyone says is necessarily true. You're understanding what I'm getting at?"

You nodded and Rose smiled. "Just know that no matter what, none of us would ever hurt you and we love you. Alright?"

"Okay." Rose reached inside the pocket of her jeans and pulled a necklace with a little crystal obelisk hanging from it. "This was given to me by someone very special a long time ago. You probably wouldn't know, but at one point I felt lonely like you. Maybe a little scared so they gave me this, along with my hat. My hat will always stay with me I think you need this more than I do."

She placed the necklace in your hand. "Whenever you feel, lost, scared, whatever. You squeeze that stone, and that stone will keep you safe. Got it?" You placed the necklace around your neck and nodded. "Thanks mommy." You hugged Rose tightly. "You're welcome, my dearest..I love you so much." She kissed your cheek. "I love you too, mama."

In that moment, Rose didn't care whether you even brought in steam or not. She truly just enjoyed you. It was the first time she could truly say she loved you. The whole Knot really did love you. They would do it all over again with raising you if they could and not change a thing about you or that entire duration of time. Except when they brought you to Florida.

December, 1980:

"Y/n, my love. It's morning." Rose gently shook your shoulders and you groaned. "Why are you all up so early?" You sat up and stretched. "We're going to move camp today." You raised a brow. "This early? I feel like we just got here," You whined sleepily.

"I know but daddy and I have some business to attend to." She ran her fingers through your hair. "You'll like the next place better. It has a pretty lake overlooking it and trees. There's lots of flowers there too." She paused and ran a thumb across your cheek. "We can pick some later if you want." You smiled softly. "I like flowers."

"I know you do, my sweet girl." Rose pulled you into her arms and held you for a few moments, kissing the top of your head. "Go get dressed and say good morning to daddy. He'll get aggravated if I keep asking him if we're ready to move."

You giggled and slid out of her lap. "Okay mama." You placed a tiny kiss on her cheek and picked out a bohemian dress from your dresser that Apron Annie sowed you once Rose gave her word you were the one.

"I don't think daddy could ever get mad at you." You mumbled as you slid the dress over your head. "He loves you alot. He doesn't even have to say it. I can see it in his mind." Rose smiled softly. "Daddy is a very loving man. He loves you alot too." You could tell she was trying to hide something from you and you attempted to get inside her head to figure out what she was thinking but she immediately shut you out.

"Mommy!" You whined. "Sorry sweetie. You're just not old enough yet." Rose ran a quick brush through your hair. "And then when you're old enough, you're not going to want to know." She plopped a kiss on the top of your head. "Now go on."

"Okay," You pouted and stepped outside. You seen Grampa Flick sitting outside on his lawn chair and waved. "Good morning, Grampa."

"Morning, dragă." He held his arms out to give you a hug which you immediately gave him. "Have you seen, papa?"

"His trailer." He pointed to the left. "Thanks Grampa." You kissed his cheeks and walked off in the other direction. You watched Crow fiddle a few of the bottom conpartments on his trailer before saying anything.

"Hi daddy!" Crow turned to look at you and smiled, stopping whatever he was doin. "Hey babe." He scooped you up in his arms and kissed your cheeks, his mustache tickling you slightly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Mama and I cuddled last night so she kept me warm." You smiled happily. "She gives good cuddles, right?"

"The best!" You smiled and nuzzled closely to him. "Daddy, what's that for?" He turned his head to the side. "What's what for, sweetie?"

"That." You pointed to the rope by his feet and he kicked it aside quickly. "Oh..nothing you have to worry about." You furrowed your little brows curiously and he smiled gamely.

Was he trying to trick you or something? Crow chuckled and kissed your cheeks. "I don't have to be in your mind to know what you're thinking." He gently set you down on your feet and knelt down to your level. "We'll tell you when you're older, okay?"

"Okay, daddy." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "Good girl. Anyways-" He ran his fingers through your hair. "What do you need?"

"Mommy wanted to know if we were ready to go. She sent me because she was afraid to ask you. I don't know why though." Crow chuckled and shook his head. "You can tell mommy, I'll be ready in about thirty minutes. Got it?"

"Got it." You skipped away and Crow let out sigh, wondering just how much longer they could hide all this from you til you got too curious for your own good.

The ride to Florida was long and didn't have that much interesting scenery. The roads were long and straight and it didn't take you long to fall asleep in the passenger seat of Rose's colossal RV.

That whole time while she knew you were fast asleep, Rose used her radio system to formulate a plan on how they were going to trap Violet. Normally one of them would stay with you while other went with the rest of the group but this time they couldn't afford to have one of them stay. From what Rose could tell at the time, this kid was big steam all though it wouldn't be til years later it was in fact the wrong child she chose to take within just a few mile radius of each other.

Once you reached the campsite Rose quickly woke you up and informed you she had some business to attend to with Crow. "Y/n, stay inside while I'm out." You let out a groan. "But mama-"

"No buts." Rose knelt down to your level and ran her fingers through your hair. "It won't be that long."

"I don't like being by myself in here though. It's scary," You whined and nuzzled into her. You pointed to the cabinet she kept all the cannisters in. "I hear things in there and it makes me feel small and it's scary."

'And see things too.' You thought but wouldn't dare say outloud. You curled into Rose and she kissed the top of your head. "Hey, it's okay..Nothing can make you feel small unless you really feel small and tell me, what are you Y/n?"

"Tiny but mighty." Rose grinned proudly. "Exactly, so no. You are not afraid. Because I know whatever you hear coming from that cabinet, you can deal with. Right?" You nodded and she ran a hand through your hair. "You still have the necklace I gave you?"

"Yes mama." You squeezed the pendant hanging from your neck. "Good, that'll keep you nice and safe." You nodded and she pressed a kiss against your head, handing you her TV remote. "I'll be back, my flower."

She gave you a slight wave before slamming the door shut behind her. You quickly ran over to her bed and buried yourself under the covers as you turned the TV on.

'Snow White' was playing on one of those channels you were scrolling through and you settled down, snuggling into the blankets. You didn't know how long the movie was on when you felt a cold hand lace their hand on top of yours.

Your blood ran cold and you squeezed your eyes as your open hand squeezed the necklace your mother gave you. "You know, this movie used to be my favorite too when I was a little girl."

You seen the face of a bloodied and clearly beaten woman infront of you and you fell backwards off of Rose's bed. "When I was alive, I thought you were a freak but now I know you're special and I never got the chance to appreciate you, my special girl."

"Please..please, go away." You squeezed the necklace as hard as you could. If you weren't in Rose's possession, you would of known who the woman standing infront of you was automatically but now you hadn't a clue. "Stay safe, my little one." Your real mother bent down to kiss your head and you let out a scream before running as far as you could. "MAMA!!" You shrieked.

Not even 15 minutes later you were farther from Rose than you even were before and The True arrived back to where a majority of their trailers were parked with a hysterical Violet in tow.

"Please let me go! My mommy will be so worried about me. Please, please, please!" She begged. None of them paid her any mind though as they began to bound her. They were so used to the screams and begs by now, it didn't bother them.

"So where are we going after this?" Crow asked, as he threw a couple of items that they would need later to various unoccupied members of The True.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe Massachusetts, because you know how Y/n loves the snow.." Rose continued to talk as Crow zoned out, putting the left over rope in the storage compartment of his RV. "..She is in your trailer, right?" Rose closed the door to her RV.

Crow furrowed his brows. "Who?" Rose sighed inwardly. "Y/n, Crow Daddy. She is in your trailer, I hope. Because she's not in mine." He closed the compartment and unlocked the door to the trailer. "Let me see."

He walked inside and shut the door behind him, examining the space for you. "Crow, she's there right?" You weren't. A spike of panic rised in him and he ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner, unlocking an almost unconfident reserve on his face. "Uh, yeah..she's in there," He lied through his teeth, desperate to save him and you from Rose's wrath. "Rosie, is it okay if I stop with her really quick to get some fresh air?" He asked. "I don't care what you do. You'll be able to find your way back?"

"Sure." He smiled through gritted teeth even though Rose couldn't see him and silently cursed you underneath his breath. "Okay..tell Y/n, I love her." Rose began to walk off to her RV after making sure Barry had everything with Violet handled.

"I will.." He watched the rest of the caravan leave before getting behind the wheel and closing his eye. "Alright Y/n, let's hope my instincts are good enough."

Meanwhile a few minutes away in driving distance, as you passed the lakeside view Rose told you about, you heard noise coming from the distance and jumped back.

The more you listened though, the more you realized there was mostly children there. You walked up the small hill and watched them for a second. "So many rubes.' You thought to yourself. 'None of them like well..or not?'

You began to feel that same magnetic pull you felt from Rose the first time you encountered her and you found your eyes fixated on a boy sitting by himself.

You felt attached to your family but never did you feel such a connection strangers and you didn't know why. It wouldn't be until years later, you would put two and two together and realize the person infront of you was in fact your soulmate.

Despite your fear of all the rubes around you carefully approached the stranger sitting on the bench, not daring to put your guard down.

"You mind if I sit next to you?" The little boy shook his head and you sat down next to him. "What's your name?"

"..Danny." You smiled. "That's a nice name. I'm Y/n, it's nice to meet you." He didn't say anything back but you didn't mind. Your parents were both mostly laid back but if there was a thing they were big on, it was respect.

"..nice to meet you too. Sorry, I'm just having an off day." You shrugged. "I'm okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No..you wouldn't understand." The more you looked at him the more, the more you could tell he wasn't exactly so rube like.

(Is it because of this?)

The boy sitting next to you looked at you blankly. "Danny, I know you can hear me," You said softly. "No..not because of that. Well..maybe a little. She'll just keep coming until she gets me. I don't care what Dick says."

"Who will come and get you?" You asked then blushed. "Sorry, I shouldn't of pried." Dan shrugged dismissively and looked up towards his apartment building and pointed to the bathroom. "The lady in the bathroom."

A decaying woman flashed infront of your eyes and your posture stiffened. "You can see her, right?"

"Yeah, I see her..If it makes you feel better, I see scary things too sometimes." You took his hand in your equally tiny ones. Dan felt the urge to pull away from you but there was this warm element to you that made him feel comforted by you.

"Really?" You nodded solemnly and moved your hand away from his to take a necklace of your neck. It had a little crystal obelisk hanging from the bottom if it. "My mommy gave this to me for when I get scared. If you squeeze the crystal, it's supposed to make you feel safe." He said nothing and you put the obelisk in his hand. "I think you need it more than I do."

"You're sure?" You nodded and for the first time in a while, Danny Torrance actually gave a hint of a smile.

(Thanks, Y/n.)

(You're welcome.)

"Y/n?" You could hear someone calling your name and you turned around. "Y/n, honey?" You looked at Dan. "That's my daddy. I have to go before I get in trouble. Bye Danny."

"Bye." He was a person of very few words but it didn't bother you in the slightest. All you knew was you didn't want your dad to see him. You didn't know what was going on but you knew something wasn't right.

"Y/n?" You sprinted towards him. "Daddy!" You exclaimed. Crow's eyes went wide with relief. "Y/n." Your father pulled you close to him. "Don't you run off like that EVER again. You understand me?" You could see his infrequent temper in his eyes and you were quick to nod. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I-i-" Crow didn't bother to wait for a response from you before he continued speaking.

"People out here are bad, Y/n. They'd hurt you in a heartbeat." He cupped the sides of your face. "Do you know or did you even think about how upset your mother and I would be if you just disappeared?"

You felt your heart sink and your lips trembled. You knew there was a possibility they might do bad things but that didn't mean you didn't love them because of it. You felt so selfish and cruel. "I-i didn't think about it. I'm sorry daddy.." Your eyes watered as you looked down at the ground and he sighed. "Just don't do it again, got it?" He wiped one of your tears away. "Yes daddy. Y-you're not going to tell mommy, are you?"

Crow kissed your cheeks gently. "No, I won't tell her. I think this can be our little secret. What do you think?" You let out a giggle and Crow smiled. "That's my girl. Come on, let's get you back to the caravan before mom notices we're gone because you know how she gets."

You nodded and held your arms out to Crow who immediately scooped you up. You wrapped your tiny arms around his neck and nuzzled closely to him as he carried you away.

(Y/n?)

You smiled softly as you felt that little ping in your head.

(Yeah, Danny?)

(Am I ever going to see you again?)

You paused before responding.

(Maybe. I hope so because I like you Danny.)

(Me too, Y/n.)

You felt one of Crow's finger poking your shoulder and you pulled yourself out of your thoughts. "Yes, daddy?" You asked. "Did you feel someone steamy?" He whispered in your ear.

You thought about telling the truth but thought of Danny. You only just met him but something deep down told you, you couldn't let him get hurt. Maybe..just maybe, all rubes weren't so bad after all. "No, daddy," You lied.

"You're sure?" He pressed. "I'm sure." Crow sighed and patted your back. It would of been nice to have double the amount of steamheads but he supposed Violet would be enough to sustain them for a while. Besides, beggars couldn't be choosers and he trusted you enough to think you wouldn't lie to him. "Okay, honey.."

The next time you would see Danny Torrance after that fateful December day, would be 26 years later and by that time any bridge you had built with The True Knot would be burned.

[softgreysentences]

Go the F*ck to Sleep - TUA Fic

Summary: Five isn't sleeping, Ben is concerned, and Klaus is, as always, a puppet to said concerned brother's machinations. (He isn't concerned, nope. Just doing what Ben wants him to. No concern here.)

(Who is he kidding of course he's concerned.)

***

He didn't notice at first, but then again...that was what Ben was for.

Said guardian angel (devil, more like, Klaus thought, shedding an imaginary tear for all the times Ben had pestered him about getting sober and succeeded, rest in peace his flourishing relationship with the bottles in the alcohol cabinet and the baggies of drugs that used to live comfortably in his pockets - yeah, okay whatever maaaybe it was worth it in the long run shut up annoying dead brothers are still annoying) sat perched on the end of Klaus's bed, hood up and frown etched in place. It was the Frown of Doom, Klaus decided. It usually meant he or one of their siblings was doing something exceedingly stupid. And this time, well, he was inclined to agree.

"Watch out for him, Klaus. Remember how he gets?"

"Well, no, not really, it's been a reeeally long tiiime-" Ben leveled him with a glare. Klaus sighed. "Yeah, yeah, got it, make sure dear baby brother doesn't keel over from not sleeping because he's too into his training blah blah blah et cetera." He flopped onto the bed beside Ben, draping one arm dramatically over his eyes. "You do realize Five'll get all grumpy if he figures out I'm watching him, right?"

The Glare intensified. "That's really not fair," Klaus pouted, and rolled over on his side. Psh. Brothers. A complicated mess. He gave it a day or two before Five started to get real snippy with him, and then he could turn around and rub it in Ben's non-corporeal face with a well-timed 'I told you so'.

***

As it turned out, he didn't even need to be worried. Five was too out of it to notice.

"Should we...doooo somethiiiing?" Klaus questioned out of the side of his mouth, waving his hands in a vague approximation of the universal 'I have no idea what I'm doing' gesture. He wasn't looking in Ben's direction at the moment but he was positive the other was either sighing, shaking his head, or facepalming. Maybe all three. Probably all three.

The subject of their combined concern sat at the bar tucked into the dining room at two o' clock in the dead of night, a lone, empty glass before him and his gaze a million miles away. That wasn't really unusual, to be honest. What was unusual, however, was literally everything else. Five's usual uniform getup was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a (gasp) t-shirt and sweats. His hands, wrapped around the cool glass of the tumbler, were shaking. He was slumped over like he hadn't slept in a couple days, and Klaus kinda didn't want to know if that assumption was correct or not.

Aw, man. All Klaus had wanted was a cup of water and to go back to bed. He was really looking forwards to sleeping through the night (read: staring at the ceiling until the insomnia passed). He definitely wasn't thinking about sneaking out to a bar before the others got up. He eyed Ben from the corner of his eye. Nope. Not at all.

"Just..." Ben heaved an admirably large and long-suffering sigh considering he couldn't, y'know, breathe. "...put him to bed. Make him stay there."

"I think you're forgetting the part where I can't teleport," Klaus remarked, but moved in for the kill anyways. Five didn't look up to teleporting, either.

Klaus slid up to the bar on his socks, all easy smiles and finger-guns. "Heeeyyy, Five. Any chance you feel like carting your fine self to bed for me?"

The look he got in return was more than an answer. Klaus swore they all must be related somehow because he was certain Ben was leveling the exact same 'this-idiot' facial expression at Klaus's back. "And I'm guessing that's a no. Alright, sorry to cut your 'night out' short but people of your height usually have bedtimes. And, come to think of it, alcohol restrictions." He dropped a hand gently but firmly on Five's shoulder, only to recoil a moment later.

He hissed, wrinkling his nose in concern. "You're really hot!" Five merely raised an eyebrow, looking about two seconds away from teleporting to somewhere far away and devoid of human interaction, had he had the energy to do so. He rolled his eyes, flailing a hand out to wave it dismissively. "No, not like that and you know it. You're burning up."

"And?" Five would have nailed the whole 'either stop talking to me or die' inflection had his voice not have cracked on the 'a'. Klaus stifled a laugh.

"And...you're going to bed."

"Nope."

"Are we really gonna do this right now?"

"Yes."

"Ughh." Klaus dragged a hand down his face. Why did he care again? Caring about people took so much effort. "Please? Pretty please?"

Dead silence. Five swirled the non-existent dregs in his glass, the perfect picture of a person bored with the conversation they're currently in. Klaus had to give it to him, he was a truly awful conversational partner. "PrettypleaseandI'llmakeyoucoffeeinthemorning?"

Five narrowed his eyes. "How much."

Klaus took a moment to pretend to think, firmly unwilling to contribute anything less than peak dramatics to any exchange of words at any given time. "Two cups."

A further narrowing of the eyes. "A pot."

"Two cups and a heavily caffeinated mug of tea." He decided to leave out the part where it had honey and lemon in it, and oh, wasn't caffeinated at all. What Five didn't know wouldn't hurt him. This time.

Five huffed a breath, already swinging his short 'lil legs down from the stool. "Fine. 'M going. Go away."

Ben gestured after Five as if to say go with him he's a lying liar who lies. Which...was true, actually. He still remembered that one time when they were eight and Five had talked him into a poker game...

Oh, right, Five. He scrambled to catch up, all long clumsy limbs and no sense of balance, sliding out into the hallway just as Five crumpled to a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"I told you s-"

"Ben," he hissed. "Kindly shut the f*ck up."

***

He papped Five on the cheek a couple times, sitting with his knees tucked into his chest on the very bottom stair. The younger had barely stirred in the ten or so minutes since his abrupt descent to unconsciousness, his only signs of life the soft puffs of his breath against Klaus's ankle and incoherent rambling mumbles. "Hey. Hey, Five. Beds are better than floors, can confirm."

Nothing. "Can't you pick him up?" Ben crouched down on Five's other side, hand hovering over Five's hair.

Klaus grimaced, making a move to get up. "Ew. Physical exertion. No, thanks."

"You either pick him up or spend all night here with him."

"Allllrighty then!" Klaus grinned with fake cheer, clapping his hands together. "Here's to hoping I don't drop him from the top of the stairs by accident!"

"Please don't drop him."

"No promises!" He intoned in that same cheery voice. He slipped one hand under Five's knees and the other under his shoulders, and heaved.

By some miracle he was able to lift Five to chest-height, swearing the entire way. The first few steps he ascended were pure spikes of anxiety (he couldn't see his feet oh no what if he actually did drop Five) until he finally got the hang of it and Ben stopped looking like he was legitimately going to manifest physically by himself from pure fear over the future integrity of Five's spinal column.

A few short minutes and muscle memory took Klaus straight to the door of Five's old room, catching his own tired reflection on the doorknob in the dim moonlight of the hallway. After a brief crisis over how to open the door (hello, no free hands) he finally cracked it open and pushed it the rest of the way with his foot.

Five must've dusted since his return, because it looked not a day older than how it had looked when he had left that first, fateful time. The bed, precisely made, was outfitted with the same blankets and everything. It was creepy. Klaus shivered. And cold. Geez, was that a draft?

Five trembled in his arms, as if to prove Klaus's point. Yeah, no. This wouldn't work. He left the dark, dreary, Five-y room behind in favor of his own well-lived, well-loved abode. Room. Same difference.

His bed was a mess, blankets strewn haphazardly and dirty and clean laundry alike coating the floor like a carpet, but it was warm and wow, suddenly he was really tired. No laying wide awake tonight, he realized with joy. Hah! Suck it, insomnia.

He dropped Five gently on the bed, his brother's still form bouncing once on the mattress before settling. Five seemed to instinctively mold himself into the blankets, unconsciously realizing there was comfort to be had from the many soft things lining Klaus's bed. Klaus slipped into bed beside him, tugging and rearranging quilts over the two of them before flicking his lamp off and plunging the room into darkness.

Klaus was content with letting Five have his own half of the bed, but an unconscious Five was apparently one without useless ideas of being 'tough' and 'stoic' and as such was one to do things like instantly curl into Klaus's side and snag a handful of his brother's shirt. Klaus was mildly surprised, appreciative of the contact, and perhaps most importantly, too tired to really think much of anything at all. He pulled Five closer with an arm slung around Five's shoulders and promptly conked out.

Ben rolled his eyes and settled onto the edge of the bed. Idiots, he thought. My idiots.

***

not ship!! tag my sweet boys as ship and i kill u

[nothingbutbark]

roy’s backstory (remix) (deluxe album)

under a readmore b/c i think five pages is probably. too much to be putting on people’s dash...es? plural dash? dashes, yeah. anyway.

Roy's starting to regret coming to this party. Don't get him wrong—Roy loves a good party. This one just sucks. He winces with every other beat of the music, trying to escape the thudding in his skull. The lights—whose idea even was that? They're not strobe lights. They're just high intensity lights that are more blinding than they are cool. And the smell.

Sometimes—most of the time—being a werewolf sucks.

Roy's dulled his senses as much as he can, and the party's still three too many flavours of nauseating. Stupid full moon. Stupid party. Stupid gym being closed.

He chugs whatever is in his solo cup—something disgusting that fouls up the air—and relishes the way it burns on the way down. Anything to take the edge of this awful bash.

Maybe he should just go home.

He imagines heading back to the dorm to be alone—or worse, find his roommate there—when he's so keyed up and grimaces.

The full moon's call is ramping him up, a second pulse in his veins. He needs to do something to burn off the extra energy. In his ideal life, Roy would live with a bunch of other werewolves, who could match his energy and strength piece for piece. Too bad the only reason he's so tense in the first place is because he's the only werewolf for miles. He's alone, surrounded by others, and the instinct that says get out shift flee has gone from an ignorable itch to a pounding headache beneath the full moon's light.

The urge to shift grates beneath his skin. Fuck, that'd fix this. The promise of relief from this horrible tenseness is so immense he almost wolfs out in some guy's fucking living room.

Roy bites his lips—feels his fangs take shape—rolls his shoulders, and buries a growl of frustration. If nobody starts a drunken brawl or makes a pass at him in the next ten minutes, he's going jump through a window and wake up at the North Pole.

He drops his cup in a stack on the table, and  heads out into the hallway. He squeezes past more than a few people making out, which is ridiculous, 'cause it's a fucking hallway.

It's a tempting idea to strengthen his nose and try sniffing somebody who'd be down to throw down or get down, but with all the booze and sweat and people, it'd be akin to committing third-degree assault on his nose.

That, and it's an invasion of privacy to act on his supernatural sense for people's emotions. Ugh. Human rules.

Roy shoulders his way into the kitchen, grabs a new cup, fills it up, and slams it back. He's too superhuman to get drunk, but if he can't get fucking buzzed tonight he's going to break something.

He crushes the cup in his hand—his claws pierce right through the shitty plastic—and it's not as satisfying as he needs it to be.

He spares a thought that maybe nobody's tried anything because he looks like he'll murder them if they do.  A growl rumbles in his throat, and he gets a sharp glance from a girl standing near him. She takes a subtle step away.

Roy's going to—to go find an underground boxing ring or something or the wolf that showed up in the dog park is going to be on the news tomorrow morning.

Roy tosses his cup in the trash across the room—hears a few drunken ohhhh’s—and marches out, keen on getting out of here. He's halfway through the doorway when collides bodily with someone coming in.

“Whoa!”

Roy fights a growl. He knows that voice.

“Hey, Roy!” Dennis says, over the thudding bass of the music from the other room.

“Dennis,” he returns, faking half of a smile, though he's too frayed to sound particularly nice about it. “You get bored of being a shut-in?”

Dennis—oblivious, or maybe just ignoring Roy's mood—laughs. “Without you around? 'Course I did, babe.”

The babe grates. Roy isn't—shouldn't be—bothered that Dennis is attracted to him. When you have the kind of supernatural sense for emotions that Roy has, you get used to knowing that sort of thing. It's just that Dennis is so weird about it. Or maybe it's because he has to put up with it all the time. If Roy hadn't always been an outdoors kind of guy, he knows he would have become one just to get out of their dorm.

Roy scrunches his nose up. At least he can't smell it now.

Oh, whoops. He forgot Dennis is looking at him.

Dennis must take his expression a different way, 'cause he laughs again. “The party suck that much?”

“It's awful,” Roy says, taking the out given to him. “I'm gonna get out here.”

“Aw, what?” Dennis says. “No, come on. There's free booze. Just get wasted.”

“I'm a heavyweight,” Roy says, raising his eyebrows and shoving his hands into the pockets on his hoodie. Dennis looks him up and down. He's either silently commenting on Roy's height, or brazenly checking him out. A muscle in Roy's jaw jumps, and he clenches his hands into fists. “And the booze sucks. It tastes like fermented petrol.”

Dennis laughs—again—and brushes past him, closer than he needs to. “Sure,” he says, grabbing a couple cups and starting to fill them up. “But it's free.”

Roy steps back into the kitchen and turns his gaze out the window. It's not surprising that he can't see the full moon from here, but some animalistic part of him is annoyed anyway. It's ridiculous. He feels like some kind of wind-up toy—wound until he's fit to burst with restless energy and then told not to move.

Dennis returns and hands Roy a full cup. Roy slams it back like it’s a shot. Dennis whistles, and grins.

“Damn,” he says, “You want mine too?”

Roy doesn't say anything, but Dennis hands over his cup anyway. Roy drinks it, because he's a werewolf who can't get drunk. If he's going to stand around pretending to make nice with Dennis instead of benching the weight of the world, he needs something to dull the edge of his agitation.

Dennis leaves with the empty cups, and comes back soon after with more booze. “So,” he says, with a grin that might be a try for wolfish—Roy smothers the urge to roll his eyes, because it's such an awkward fit on his face. “Ready to get wild?”

Roy takes his cup and slams it back, just so he doesn't have to respond to that.

From there, the party passes by in a blur of agitation. Roy remembers doing things, but everything beyond how hyper-aware he is of every restless inch of his body has been lost. He drinks every cup Dennis passes him, and some extra.

Roy almost laughed at the look on that guy's face when he plucked the cup from his hand and drained it before handing back. Too bad he would've flashed his fangs at a bunch of humans.

Roy snorts. Actually, that would have been pretty funny.

The mental image alone almost makes the way he's losing control of his shift worth it. Midnight has come and gone now—he can feel it, for all that his eyes wouldn't be focus long enough to read a clock right now if he tried. He's never gone this long without doing something before. It's mind-numbing. His senses are ticking back up to superhuman levels, and it's messing with his coordination.

There's a weariness to his body that makes his limbs drag, his movements sloppy and imprecise. A fog settles in on his thoughts, heavy and thick. It's impossible to think like this.

Dennis drapes his arm across Roy's shoulders, and leans in close. “Hey,” he says, over the thumping music. Roy's nose twitches. He smells like arousal again. “You doing okay? You've had a lot to drink.”

“I'm a heavyweight,” Roy says, and it drags across his tongue. “'m fine.” Then, like he's not sure, “Tired? 's loud.”

Dennis squeezes his shoulder. “Want to go somewhere quieter?” His breath is hot, and sets Roy's neck afire. Roy doesn't say yes, but Dennis starts leading them away, so maybe he did.

Roy stumbles on their way up the stairs, and Dennis catches him.

“Easy, babe,” he says. “You're drunk.”

Roy has the thought: I don't get drunk.

He leans on Dennis, letting him carry him the rest of the way.

There's an itch beneath Roy's skin. A pervasive, nagging feeling buried in his veins, and coiling 'round his muscles. Pressure comes and goes on his neck, his chest, up and down his thighs. A weight settles on his body. It's... heavy. Roy can't be entirely sure it's there. There's a sickly, persistent strangeness clinging to him, muddling his senses. There's an itch beneath his skin.

He wants it out.

The thread of Roy's resistance snaps, and the world bursts back into focus.

There's cool air on his bare chest, a hand groping at his side, another in his—lips and teeth on his neck—

Roy's hands snap up and he shoves. Dennis tumbles off the bed and crashes into the wall with a cry. The resounding thud roars in his over sensitive ears.

Roy jolts upright and clutches at his head with his hand. Claws dig into his skin, tear at the sheets of the bed. The shift coming on tore away the fog, but he can already feel it starting to drift back in. His head throb-throb-throbs. Blood drips down his fingers.

He doesn't get drunk

Dennis pulls himself up, groaning. Anger-confusion-pain scent the air around him. He stands, hand against the wall, and turns to face Roy. And—stops.

“Your—your eye,” he says, voice wavering.

The shift floods his veins and takes hold of his eyes, burning them gold bright in the dim light.

He doesn't get drunk.

Roy lowers his hand, and stares at Dennis, and he can't—can't think and he doesn't know if it's the shock or the imminent shift but he knows—

A growl tears its way from his throat. “You drugged me. You were—you were—” Roy bites off with a growl, and bares his mouthful of fangs.

The air sours with fear. “You—what the Hell are you?”

Roy's throat rumbles, a sound like building thunder. The full moon has been calling, and calling, and calling, and Roy's blood rises like the tides to meet it. He snarls. He's—he's—

Wild.

He lunges off the bed at Dennis. His jaws snap shut on flesh, and he sinks his teeth into Dennis' throat. They collide with the wall, and Dennis' head bangs so hard wood cracks.

Roy tears his throat out. Dennis' flesh rips apart in his mouth, and all he knows is the tang of warm blood on his tongue. It's disgusting. Roy spits it all out, blood dripping down his chin, his chest.

Dennis gargles beneath him, dying, and the wolf howls in satisfaction—violence answered with violence.

The door clicks like a gunshot, and Roy snaps to his feet. He snatches his hoodie off the floor and bolts out the door before the screaming starts. He leaps down the stairs, and slams through the front door into the night. He runs.

Hours later, when his mind is returned to him from the haze of the drug, from the simplicity of the beast—

He keeps running.