#Might take this down in the morning

[legolasghosty]

“Do you want a hug?", “Come on. Let’s go home.”, and “I feel like I can breathe better with you around.” for juke 💕

Julie let her foot rest on the damper pedal of the grand piano as Luke held out his last note. It sounded good.

When he stopped, she applauded. "Nice one, grab some water," she said, shooting him a smile.

"Thanks Boss," he responded, grabbing for his green plastic water bottle.

Julie shifted her music sheets around while he drank. She'd originally been wary when Ms. Harrison had asked her to give Luke voice lessons as a way to make up some of the credit she'd lost earlier in the year, but it was going better than she'd expected. Luke was stubborn and wouldn't work on anything he didn't see the value in, but he had a lot of passion and clearly wanted to improve. He was so full of life and energy, and at least 99% of it was all focused on music.

"That felt great," Luke exclaimed, capping his water bottle and giving Julie a wide grin. "Much better than in class earlier. You're amazing, Julie."

Julie felt her cheeks warming and ducked her head before Luke could notice. Okay, so maybe she wasn't totally immune to his smile and his arms and how, when they were alone for his lessons, all of his passion for music seemed focused solely on her.

"Or maybe you just don't pay attention during warmups in class," she teased, giving him a smirk before refocusing on her list of exercises to take him through. Better to keep her crush to herself. Dating was way too complicated, and Luke probably didn't like her anyways.

"Nah, it's definitely you," Luke retorted, moving over to lean on the piano. "I feel like I can breathe better with you around."

Julie looked up, expecting to find him giving her that lighthearted, teasing look that he did when he intentionally messed up the names of famous composers just to mess with her. But when their eyes met, she found nothing but sincerity in his gaze. Like he actually meant what he said.

It was disorienting. But... not bad?

Julie quickly stood, breaking eye contact. "You had a bit of a break on the bridge, do you want to work through that?" she asked, nodding to his music stand.

Luke nodded slowly, seeming almost disappointed, and returned to his papers. "Yeah, definitely. I think it was the register shift, I got caught halfway between my chest and head voice."

"Wow, look at you and your technical lingo," Julie commented, smiling as she looked down at the sheet music to check the notes. "Yeah, that's what I heard as well. Let's do some glides through that part of your range to get comfortable with the shift before we add the actual notes and stuff."

Luke dipped his head in agreement and they got back to work.

Ten minutes later, the alarm on Julie's phone that signaled the end of their time went off just as Luke finished running through the bridge. They both jumped at the drum intro of an old Petal Pushers song.

Julie quickly turned it off and stood with a smile. "Guess that's time," she said.

"What was that song?" Luke asked, gathering his music. "That's not your normal alarm. It's good."

Julie bit her lip, considering brushing it off. But it was Luke. He lived and breathed music. He'd understand how music could hurt as well as heal.

"It's called Love Wild, it's one of my mom's songs," she told him. "It was my alarm for ages, but I... I just started listening to it again."

"Oh," Luke said.

Julie didn't dare look up. She'd developed a serious distaste for the pitying expression that always appeared on people's faces when her mom came up. She'd rather not be annoyed at Luke over it.

"It's a good song, it's about loving the people you love and showing it regardless of what other people think," she added softly. She wasn't sure why she was still talking. She didn't usually talk about this stuff. But Luke didn't interrupt. "And the bassline is awesome," she continued, "and the harmonies on the bridge are magic, I swear, and the last couple of lines..."

She trailed off, feeling her throat start to tighten.

"That's awesome," Luke murmured after a minute.

Julie dared to look up at him. He seemed unsure of himself, which wasn't a common look for him, but his smile still seemed genuine.

"Um, do you want a hug?" Luke asked awkwardly.

Julie chuckled. "I'm okay," she assured him, sliding her folder into her backpack.

Luke frowned. "But do you want a hug?" he asked again.

Julie thought about it for a second. She always wanted a hug from her mom these days, but that wasn't possible. Did she want a hug from Luke instead?

"Yeah, that'd be nice," she said slowly.

Luke smiled and stepped forward to wrap his arms around her shoulders. She let herself relax into his embrace. He was warm, his frame a bit shorter than her dad's. It was nice.

"Hey Julie?" Luke asked softly.

"Yeah?" she responded, sliding her own arms around his waist.

"You wanna come to band practice this weekend? Help me not shred my voice again?"

Julie considered for a second. She hadn't done that before. It felt like a new step in their friendship, to take it outside of the school building and into Luke's friend circle. Was she ready for that?

"Sure, send me the info," she agreed.

"Sweet, this is gonna be rad," Luke cheered, letting her go and pulling out his phone.

Julie laughed. "Come on, let's get home before the janitors kick us out," she chuckled, swinging her backpack onto her shoulder.

"Right behind you, Boss," Luke called.

[cuppajj]

"Once a lowly jelly worm with aspirations beyond anyone's belief, with a bit of magic (and perhaps convincing) it turned into something even stronger... finally, after rigorous training and a bit of dough, it has now achieved its dream and become a - dragon? That's a dragon, right? Whatever he is now, Jelly Dragon(?) Cookie is sure happy to finally have a chance to stick it to the cookies who once laughed at him!" - im being weird on my first crk post kasjhf look i love jelly wormy and i think he deserves to be a dragon... what if he went on a quest and cried so hard at one of the actual dragons that they made him one (air quotes). it was perhaps out of pity but more likely morbid curiosity to see what would happen if a jelly worm of all things got a little taste of power. like giving admin commands to a child on roblox

[crushedsweets]

If u consistently choose kindness on the internet in comment sections and dms and content I love you.

[seaquestions]

big dog little dog energy. uh anyway.

[id: two drawings of conor garland & nikita zadorov as furries (a russel terrier & a great dane) referencing the video of them shoving each other at practice. text reads "lil' push!" & "BIG SHOVE!" end id.]

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

I do feel like it’s a little weird that this fandom is so willing to woobify certain male characters and ignore their canon very shitty actions but will hate on Aphmau as a character for being… the main character… as if that’s not the entire point.

Like this isn’t sparked by anything specific recently, just me thinking about how weird fandoms can be sometimes. And I’m not pointing fingers at any particular person. But I see more hate for characters like Aphmau than I do for characters who have either explicitly, or implicitly, done awful things. Just because she’s kind of op and sometimes annoying.

I’m not naming specific characters bc I frankly don’t care whether or not you like them. It’s neither here nor there, I know I’m one to talk with being an Aaron fan and all… but like… this is a frequent enough issue that you can name any male character’s genuine flaws that people defend them for, and compare them to the kinda stuff Aphmau gets criticism for… and hers is far more easily justified.

I get that it’s the block show and you can do whatever you want, but I just think it’s a little unfair that canonly-implied sex offenders get to be goobers but Aphmau is designated to the mud pit of hatred no matter what she does.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

confinement arc where L tortures light with more hands-on methods......

[shadowhaert]

cop car / mitski

[shewhoeatssand]

I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever

[t-errifier]

it would seem that the internet lines got damaged because of the massive storm that we had here; so i deeply apologize for being spotty when i said that i had a day off & i was going to do a bunch of replies. i'm hoping that it comes back by tomorrow & i can be more reliable about things ;; we still have three more days to relax, so i will definitely be getting to what i owe to everyone !!

[yanderespamton78]

the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

[cerealbishh]

"You okay?"

"Mhm."

"Good, now go get ready and wish for the best."

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

hi hi okay imagine. stede wants to brush out ed's hair the way izzy always does. maybe izzy is busy on deck taking note of damages after a raid. maybe they had an infestation and he's going over ration spoilage and inventory with roach. ed is tired and cranky and absentmindedly separating sections of curls and tugging them apart at the bottom where they get stuck together in knots. stede offers to help with the tangles, says he would love to give it a go and help ed relax

izzy walks in a few minutes later and immediately comes up and tells stede he's doing it all wrong but also gently takes the brush from him and shows him the right way - where to hold the hair, how to start at the bottom with little sections and work his way up, when to start with his fingers instead of the brush. neither of them can see it but ed is smiling so much his face might actually burst

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

[afternoonblues]

just got my hands on the last two volumes of koukyu no karasu (raven of the inner palace) LN and the clock says 2 a.m but what is this sudden energy flowing through me? where was all this enthusiasm for the last few days? suddenly my slump has evaporated in a flick, i feel so overly motivated (& scared because i will finally get the closure to this masterpiece of a story) that now i can not just jump into these these last 2 vols but also finish the novel i was originally reading (kokoro by natsume soseki)....

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

[dispotatorulzz]

Guy who knows he overthinks all the time why am I overthinking