#Might just mute notifications on that post actually

[luludeluluramblings]

The Tape

Reader and Conner’s sex tape gets leaked…

Based on this…

Warning: Fem!Reader, NSFW themes, no actual smut, pure crack nonsense, fake Twitter post

A/N: @fanfictionlover277353 Heard you wanted some more! Here’s some of my nonsense!

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

"Come on, Babs. Please. I'm begging. Just for a few hours. Two tops." Dick's whining could be heard through out the entire cave. The vibrato of his voice echoing off the rocky walls and stalagmites as he leaned over Barbara's shoulder and played with her hair.

She was currently sitting at the Bat Computer, looking over anything related to the family or incidents in Gotham with strained eyes and an exasperated look on her face.

"I told you, I'm busy-"

"You need a break." Dick interrupted, playing the hypocrite with a grin. "Come on, two hours. We'll watch a movie, you can even pick. No sappy Rom-coms, anything you want. All your choice." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Admittedly, Barbara was tempted, but she let out an indulgent sigh.

"Fine. I'll set up notifications to alert me if anything that needs to get scrub gets posted." She quickly type out a few things on to the computer, having it connected to her phone before Dick whisked her off with way too much excitement.

It was a simple notification system. One that would alert her if anyone's vigilantes identities were mentioned in the media. Unfortunately, it wasn't set up to alert her if anyone's civilian identities were mentioned. That included the family's only civilian member as well.

And, a lot can happen in two hours with the power of the internet and a very interesting topic.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You were having a good day. A very nice day. You had gone out into the world, enjoying the sights and sounds of a mid-morning Gotham. Ignoring the wailing sirens in the distance, by now you had grown used to it.

Dick, Babs, and Alfred where in the manor doing either Bat stuff or sleeping. Damian was visiting Jon. Duke was on patrol. Cass was at dance practice. Bruce was at the Watchtower. Tim was at the Wayne office. Stephanie was your chaperone (stalker) of the day. And, Jason was fuck who knows where.

A peaceful, calm day.

Until you got a Twitter notification and you realized...

"Oh, that's not good. That is really not good." You mutter, watching as the internet burns while you drink your coffee. Not like you could do much else. You still sent a quick text to Conner, just to prepare him while you mentally packed.

You warned him when he suggested filming the two of you making love in the Wayne manor parlor right in front of the fireplace.

You had suggested you’d both go to the mountains and fuck in the wild, but he just had to be kinky and want to do it in the manor. Better lighting he said.

If it wasn’t for the fact that it had been your anniversary and he had pulled out all the stops, you would’ve said no. (It doesn’t matter that he had you literally crying from the pleasure when the two of you had finally finished filming. Nope. Not at all.)

However, that mountain sex might still be on the table. You didn't want to be around when the rest of the family saw that video, so a remote location in the mountains sounded like a decent idea. You’d been wanting to runaway from the manor for a while anyway.

“Hey, Steph, hand me your phone real quick…” Best to probably by yourself some time.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Conner had a tendency to mute his notification on all his socials. Not that he didn't look at what people tagged him in or mentioned him in. He just find it easier to manage.

So when he got a text from you saying to check Twitter, he was a bit puzzled. But, he figured you had seen him tagged in something funny and wanted him to see it too.

Only for the record in his head to scratch when he realized what he had been tagged in.

"SHIT! Shit, shit, shit, shit." Could he get off planet fast enough? This was bad. Not the video. That was good. He may have thrown extra fuel on the fire by liking it and retweeting it on to his official account, but, damn it, was he proud of that. Probably shouldn’t have hired that rando to edit it for him though.

But, yeah, he was about to possibly be the only man ever murdered in cold blood by Batman. It was one thing to fuck his civilian daughter, but filming it in the man’s own home? Yeah, the kryptonite was definitely coming out and getting stabbed into his skull.

"JON! Distract Damian!" Conner yelled out before taking off, knowing that Jon's super hearing would pick up it up. Best get to Gotham and grab you before Batman came after his ass.

There was a nice planet a few solar systems over that you two could have some fun on. Maybe if he was lucky, you could visit that spot in front of the fireplace on last time. He doubted the two of you would get another chance to do it there again.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Jason had actually been at Roy’s that day, having finished some Outlaw business from the night before. Only to be interrupted when Roy suddenly choked on his drink and sprayed it all over him from across the table. Soaking Jason and the papers on said table.

“What the fuck?” He muttered in disgust whipping the dripping liquid off him.

Roy, however, was still choking. Wheezing as he clutched his phone like it was the most precious thing in existence.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Instantly, Roy was trying to back the video up the Cloud and his back up phone. He’s paid for porn with less quality than this and he was not wasting this opportunity before it was scrubbed from the internet.

“Let me see that.” Jason pushed the table and slammed it into Roy’s gut, causing the phone to clatter on to it. A video silently playing on the screen.

A video of two people in a fancy parlor. Doing very intimate things.

Two people Jason knew. In a fancy parlor that Jason knew.

A parlor that Jason had literally sat in three days ago watching the fire in the exact same fireplace.

“Did you fucking save this, asshole?”

“Dude, that is ART!”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Back in the BatCave Alfred had come down to tidy up after resting a bit only to look at the screen in horror. Despite his many skills, socially media escaped him at times.

However he did manage to learn one thing…

“That was what was on my bloody carpet?!”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Tim had been in his office, going over a couple charts when his secretary burst into the room. Stumbling and falling on the floor panting. One of her heels broken.

Normally she was a serious and composed woman, not tolerating any nonsense from him. So this behavior was unexpected and worrisome.

Tim rushed to stand up at help her when she suddenly blurted out, “Leaked sex tape!”

That made him panic. Before confusion hit him.

“Wait, did I film on of those? I don’t remember filming one of those-“

“Your sister! Superboy! PR is going fucking nuts and getting calls. Share prices are fucking increasing because of this!”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

The Justice League Watchtower was in a meeting. Quite a long one judging by the way most of it’s members sitting around the table seemed to be drifting off or subtly scrolling their phones.

Oliver Queen, Green Arrow was one of those people scrolling. Checking over twitter, catching up on the latest gossip. Only to nearly fucking scream in the middle of the meeting when he realized what Superboy had shared on his official account.

Forget man of steel, the kid has damn balls of steel.

Worst yet, the video had been posted for over an hour. A full hour. Almost two. There was no way that was going to be getting scrubbed and forgotten. He’d bet it was in a military archive already with a team of scientist documenting the half-Kryptonian’s dick size right now.

It was an impressively long video. One that Oliver was sorely tempted to watch. But, he didn’t because he knew Batman would actually rearrange his face if he did. Like fist and plastic surgery rearrange it.

So, when he heard Batman’s voice ring out in the meeting, he broke his phone in half to hide the evidence of his discovery.

Only, Batman hadn’t been calling for his attention. He was calling for Booster Gold’s.

“Booster, focus on the meeting. Put that away—“

It was amusing to see Booster get caught with his phone out watching him scramble to shut it off in a panic. Only for it to fall to the ground.

And, the sound to turn on at full volume.

Moans to fill the silent void of the room.

Oliver could only look on in horror when he realized just what Booster had been watching, during a Justice League meeting, and across the table from Batman himself.

“Conner, please, p-please, stop teasing.”

“No, I don’t think I will. You look so pretty like this. All nice and—“

No one moved. Not as they watched Batman literally work through every emotion under that cowl of his and Superman’s face went as white as it possibly could, anguish washing over both their faces when they realized who was in the video booster was watching.

Diana was the only one that stood up and moved to pick up the phone. Everyone held their breaths when she slowly looked down at the screen.

“Quite impressive. You both must be proud.” She said with a slight hum.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I apologize so much for this, but I just was cackling the entire time I came up with this and wrote it. Forgive me y’all! 🙏🏻

A/N: All the Twitter stuff was randomly generated and picked! I’m not good with it, but I added it for giggles!

[thegreenleavesofspring]

Girl help I'm being bullied about my salads again.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

heyyy girl hyd

[gumims]

hidden behind lines | prologue

masterlist

toge inumaki sat in his darkened room, the faint glow of his laptop illuminating his face. his fingers hovered over the keyboard as he stared at the blank screen in front of him. the familiar weight of silence pressed down on him, heavier than usual. it wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to say—he had plenty. but with his cursed speech, expressing anything felt dangerous. too risky. too isolating.

he sighed, glancing at the rice ball wrapper on his desk. “salmon,” he muttered to no one in particular, his voice barely above a whisper. the room stayed quiet, and the empty words hung in the air, meaningless. toge had gotten used to this emptiness—his world of muted conversations and half-finished thoughts. but tonight, the frustration bubbled over.

he clicked open a browser and typed twitter dot com. he hesitated for a moment, his fingers twitching slightly before he began typing again. “hiddenverse”, he entered into the username field. with a quick tap, the account was created.

for the first time in a while, toge felt like he could breathe.

he stared at the empty profile, considering what to write. no one knew him here, no one knew about his cursed speech or the danger that came with his words. here, he was just a stranger behind a screen. with newfound determination, toge began typing—a simple line of poetry, raw and honest, poured from his mind onto the page. it was something he’d never been able to say out loud, a feeling that had lived inside him for too long.

he hit post.

days passed, and his small following began to grow. among the notifications, one commenter kept returning, leaving thoughtful replies that struck a chord in him. toge found himself looking forward to their messages, curious about the connection forming in the anonymity of his online world.

yet with every post, a question lingered in the back of his mind: how long could he hide behind these words? and when the time came, would he dare to step out from the shadows?

notes:

hi guys

ik i said ch1 would be posted today but i didn’t have time IM SORRY

toge was trying to communicate with yuuji before this but poor guys couldn’t understand eachother😭

actually might post another profile today.. but who will it be..? you’ll find out🤫

this was actually supposed to be a megumi smau but i decided that the idea would make sm more sense with toge so i did it for him instead

im thinking about having this mainly written with few chapters cuz writing is more easier to me than doing all the social media stuff..

now i understand smau creators.. cuz this shit is hard

okay bye guys

taglist: @aestheticallyvini @mizuislesscringe @satoryaa @jammofsammichflip @brideads @genxnarumi @sad-darksoul @runfrme @c4ttheart @vexis-world @vorfreudevortex @kiss-my-asscheeks @diorrxluvskz @stillnotherapy @twiishaa @pxppetmxster @ch3rry-lips @walllflowerrrsss @notveevee

if i didn’t tag you please lmk!!

[mavcancees]

how to adapt into dtblr culture for twitter refugees

so you've decided to move here from twitter. welcome and congratulations. this post is basically a big warning that goes THIS ISN'T TWITTER, DON'T BEHAVE LIKE IT IS, LEAVE THAT AT THE DOOR

i'll be teaching you two things, how the site works, and how to adapt your behavior to tumblr ( and really, normal human being ) culture. believe me, it's not that hard and it will actually feel very productive

let's start with the basics and frequent questions

your username can be anything, don't stress about it

your picture can be anything. a lot of us don't even have dteam related stuff up on our profile

your display name doesn't have to be your name. nobody is going to see it when you post, only usernames are visible

check your settings. do it. get familiar with them. turning on and off asks, turning anon off, turning submissions off. click on your blog, go to blog settings, check things there, go to account, your muted things will be there, go to dashboard and customize that. use your settings !!!

yes, pinned posts are fairly important and they tend to be pretty extensive. name age what you post about ( a lot of people here are multifandom !), just don't overshare ( no locations no trigger lists i beg you ). they also usually have a breakdown of your tags at the end

tags

it's a whole thing. some are actually useful. some are just passive commentary

the tags you put on posts ( both when you made the post and when you're reblogging something ) are both global and hosted on your profile. it's why you'll see things like "nameofperson art" rather than just "art". using just "art" will put you in the promoted tag, in this case

you can use spaces on your tags

usually you will tag what type of post you're making ( art, text post, ask post ), and then the contents keep in mind this is how people often mute things, some people tag the current situation, people use and mute ship tags. but this is also how people find things, like the specific asks from one person to another, so "username ask" is commonly used, "irl person ( dream, dnf, etc )" is also seen a lot just watch how others tag things and copy them. nobody will get offended you took their tag formatting, most of us will appreciate properly tagged posts

you do tag when you reblog people. you use tags to comment on things. don't really use replies unless you're, saying thank you to someone or pointing out a spell mistake or asking to add an option to a poll, etc. we don't do replies, just rb your reply

quick reblog and like deets

post popularity is measured in "notes" which is the sum of replies, reblogs and likes. we don't really care much about numbers here and if you start getting crazy about it people will not like it. this is more of a talking and showing site

you can reblog without tags, feel free to

you can hide your likes. you can and should like as many things as you want. they don't alter any algorithm, since there's none. a like is a "i saw this post" notification to the poster

actually posting

people talk a lot. a fucking lot, and it's something you will have to get used to, because it's very different from twitter

there are no qrts. callouts are looked down upon. breathe. if you don't like something MUTE IT DON'T POST ABOUT IT, because no one is going to listen to any callouts. you will have to learn to live with the fact people like things you don't. this will, with time, make you feel very free

the bulk of posting here is asks, as you might notice soon. asks are fun and encouraged. just don't name drop if you're talking about drama please ?

don't be scared to send asks off anon, this is how people will find you and get to know you really. people are also more likely to reply to you

block bait anons. yes you can block anons. yes it will block every blog they make

culture time

i've said this. tumblr is unserious. drama here is approached very differently and with several less layers of panic. you will see death threats. you will see slurs ( said in non derogatory ways ). you will see jokes about serious topics. you will see people say "i didn't like this" and nobody will care

tumblr is a community of individualism. you will like your own things within the thing we share we like. you might not like dream's music, you might not find irl streams entertaining, as long as you're fucking normal about it ? nobody will care and you're free to express your opinions. people will even come ask you about it and just have a chat. we're here for the same content to some degree

tumblr is also a bunch of people who understand they like another bunch of people. that none of the streamers have stopped being human. so you might see people defend things that, maybe, you'd not have thought to defend before. maybe you're even uncomfortable seeing them defending it. this is something you will experience a lot, and you'll learn to properly deal with it as time passes

because again. no one does callouts here unless it is extremely bad. no one cares if you don't really like them. and they also accept people might and will not like them. and that is fine. and that doesn't make either person horrible. you're just different people. and you don't even have to interact

you want to make friends ? ask people things, compliment people's work, genuinely attempt to make conversation. this is not an impersonal website the way twitter is. people don't care about your opinions because they care about you, and you are more than what you don't like

the more positive and jokey and interactive you are the more people will talk to you. there's no "hitting the algorithm", there's no "engagement", it's just people talking to people. so don't be a neg posting bot, and be a person

you will learn to be less miserable. you learn to stop giving a shit and just do what makes you happy. they cannot get you here. there's no qrts. the few antis you'll find can be blocked and you'll never have to directly interact with one. don't be mean to the people in your own community, even if you disagree

again, you are more than what you don't like. learn to be what you like instead. and leave the dooming at the door

[iknowher]

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀i miss you, i'm sorry ೀ

──ㅤ🤍ㅤ۫ㅤ ͏cheater! gojo who isn't loyal at all 𓉸ㅤ۫ㅤwc.ㅤ:ㅤ1,618 reader's note.ㅤ:ㅤit's quite rushed and short. also it's my first post so requests and constructive criticism is highly appreciated!!

it started with him telling you that he’d be on a mission. you didn’t think he’d be gone for that long. you checked the last time he was here. it’s been approximately 1 week, 4 days and 9 hours. you gave up trying to wait, it was miserable without him home. you decided to text him.. you, 07:24 pm: hey you, 07:24 pm: when are you coming home ??

… no answer. he’d usually respond within minutes— usually seconds. you text him again.. quite desperate now. you, 07:30 pm: gojo you, 07:31 pm: please answer you, 07:36 pm: hellooooo? ! ! ! after a few minutes, a notification sound came from your phone. you got a little dopamine rush, hoping it was gojo. and thank god, it was.. satoru ml ❤️, 07:41 pm: god do you ever shut up satoru ml ❤️, 07:41 pm: you’re so clingy i’m actually sick of you huh? you double-checked the contact name in hopes it wasn’t gojo.. but it really was gojo. you felt confused, why was he acting like this.. like a dick? you felt your eyes swell up. suddenly, yuki texted you. you didn’t feel any more energy to text anyone anymore— but you decided to open it anyway. yuki girlboss duhh, 07:50 pm: um hey girl.. you might wanna see this yuki girlboss duhh, 07:51 pm: (attachment added)

you opened the attachment, feeling your fingers shake. as soon as you open it, you felt a pang of disgust course throughout your body. the picture showcased gojo in a white suit— wait, holy shit.. is that a prada blazer..? you could just tell that his whole outfit probably costed thousands. his hair looked more well-kept than usual.

and there was a girl sitting at the same table as him, she probably also wore an expensive dress.. but you couldn’t really care less. the only thing you cared about was him basically cheating on you. you heard rumors about gojo being a player in highschool, but he was so charismatic— so you decided to ignore it. big mistake. you were so stubborn. literally everyone warned you.. however, you just ignored it. you, 08:02 pm:  oh. ty

shit, you hadn’t realized it but you were on the couch, crying till all your mascara was drooping on your cheeks. you were.. ugly crying.

you were watching your favorite show, 13 reasons why.. you probably rewatched it 4 times by now. and to add onto your already bad mood— you were playing I miss you, I’m sorry in the background.

though your phone was on mute, you couldn’t help but check if anyone texted you. unfortunately gojo did. Satoru Gojo, 01:10 pm: sorry that i said that Satoru Gojo, 01:12 pm: but i have to be real, we should break up … you were torn about insulting him or blocking him— but luckily, you took the more mature route. you, 01:13 pm: kay. why though? within seconds, he responded

Satoru Gojo, 01:13 pm: let’s be honest. this isn’t working. I’m busy and i don't see us continuing as a couple. i’m really sorry you clench your jaw before letting out a scoff, you knew damn well his ass was with another girl, having the time of his life.

you, 01:13 pm: shut the fuck up *you blocked this contact number. tap to unblock* nevermind. you took the immature route you felt the next stage of a breakup, anger and resentment. you opened your instagram, me_and_gojo it was an account where you posted basically all your lively moments with him, gojo. you changed your username to: me_and_myself before taking a good hour or so to delete every post, cleaning everything up. you looked at his account, though there were no posts of him and that girl— you still felt spiteful. you blocked his instagram account too.

…after a couple hours, you woke up at 6 am or so. you rubbed your eyes, seeing that the tv was playing a random movie recommended by netflix. you grabbed the remote, turning it off before grabbing your phone again.. but this time, it was geto, gojo’s best friend. geto, 05:32 am: hey girlieee geto, 05:32 am: i heard you broke up with gojo. I’m rlly sorry for that (i personally think gojo’s in the wrong for that) geto, 05:33 am: but anyway, he wanted his stuff back from your house.. I think he’s moving somewhere else? you let out a sigh, knowing that you’d have to talk or atleast see gojo again you, 06:05 am: oh. alright. you, 06:05 am: when is he coming exactly? geto responds in a few minutes

geto, 06:11 am: he says he can come in an hour or so geto, 06:11 am: just to lyk, i hope you can recover a faint smile appears on your face, but it quickly disappears as you see in the phone reflection how your makeup basically got ruined.. damn, i should invest in some waterproof makeup, you thought to yourself. you quickly head upstairs to your room, grabbing some micellair water and a cotton pad before rubbing it on your face, your makeup disappearing in a couple seconds. as soon as you finish, you hear the doorbell ring. that must be gojo. you felt dread, not wanting to see gojo’s stupid ass face after everything that happened. you hurried downstairs, before opening the door to see gojo, standing casually in front of your house. you felt his six eyes stare at your face. you tried to hide your expression of disgust.. but you could tell he knew you weren’t happy with him being home. he waved awkwardly, ‘’hey, i guess.’’ you ignored him, giving him the silent treatment as he walked in. ‘’oh.. I see, not being very talkative today, eh?’’ he lets out a dumb chuckle. everything that made you love him gave you the ick now. ‘’just.. do your thing.’’ you mumble under your breath. you notice him carrying a couple of big boxes, but even with that— you knew it wouldn’t be enough. ‘’eh alright. it’s gonna take some time, though.’’ he emphasized. as he walked nearby you, you could smell his jean paul gaultier cologne.

the moment you smelled it, you felt dizzy because of how strong it was. highkey, it was suffocating. you made a face of disgust, but you quickly turned around and sat on the couch, looking at him as he walked upstairs with an empty box— and in a few minutes he was downstairs with a full box you were unsure that could even be taped shut. this process continued for more than an hour, until he finally spoke up. ‘’hey, i’m done now. have a good life, alright?’’ he says before walking out the door. you quickly waddled to lock the door and head upstairs, curious how the room you first shared looked like now. you never noticed that most of the stuff in the house was from gojo. everything was and looked so empty— it didn’t feel homey anymore. fast forward to a few months or maybe a year later, you still weren’t really over it yet. honestly, even though gojo was annoying as shit, he fulfilled a spot in your heart nobody could.

he was arrogant, sure, but he could also be an absolute sweetheart at times— and let’s not forget the time when he spoiled you at your birthday. you felt so lucky to be his girlfriend.

maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t find anybody like gojo again. all your friends told you, ‘’girl there are so many fish in the sea’’ and all that bullshit. but, you also knew, if he was really your soulmate— he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.

after your initial breakup, you couldn’t really care to take care of your looks, usually having messy hair and little to no makeup each day you went to work. maybe being single would be better, cause then you wouldn’t have any heartbreak anymore.

until one day that you walked out the door, deciding to walk to work, it wasn’t that far from your place anyway. you saw geto, but you noticed that he looked kind of.. sad? and he didn’t even care to put his hair up into a bun.

you stopped him in his tracks, wanting to greet him. ‘’hey geto.’’ you smile awkwardly as he glances up at you. ‘’oh. hi.’’ he says, trying to act polite.

‘’eh.. what’s up?’’ you ask him, wanting to know the reason behind his dampened mood. ‘’oh.. you haven’t heard?’’

‘’gojo died.’’ those two words felt like a truck crashing into your heart. ah.. you hated him, sure, but you didn’t exactly want him to die.

‘’huh.. when.. why?’’ you ramble, before geto interrupts you. ‘’well he died, like, a couple days ago. and why? meh.’’ geto shrugs in a nonchalant way. ‘’he died because of a mission. he was being kind of cocky— he thought he’d be able to kill sukuna.’’ you cut him off, wondering how he could’ve died— i mean. he has infinity, six eyes.. he’s basically immortal. right?‘’hold on— how?’’ ‘’hey, i don’t know either.’’

and from that day forward, you had to live with curiosity. who was that girl he was on a date with? how did he even die? but deep down, you knew you would never get an answer on any of your questions. you unblocked him, just to send one, last, message.

you, 06:03 pm: i miss you you, 06:03 pm: i’m sorry. *this contact number has been deleted, your message could not be delivered*

ㅤ🗝ㅤwork belongs to @ iknowher﹐do not plagiarize my work !

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Duff 14

Warnings: groping, insecurity, food and body issues, manipulation, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far.♥♥♥♥

Image credit (I want to give dues where due but don’t want the creator to keep getting tagged in my posts as I have been approached by some before that they don’t want me in their notifs)

You skip lunch, trying to make up for missed time. The hours fly by and you only look up from your desk as Marnie packs up. You wish her a good night and Taylor leaves soon after without a word.

You cradle your forehead and pull your phone closer, flipping it over. Notifications stack on the lock screen  unnoticed as you keep it muted in the office. You don't need Gloria lecturing you again about professionalism.

That most of the notifications are messages from Curtis both surprises you and doesn't. You fully thought he was too mad to bother yet he's left a scroll of texts. He's a bit much, too much. 

Ugh, you don't know. You put down the phone and rub your eyes. It's just all too fast. You're panicking. And clueless. You just really don't know if you're blowing it out of proportion. 

You retrieve your phone and flip up the lockscreen. You thumb through your contacts and hit Stephanie's name. You hesitate, hovering over the keyboard.

'Hey, sup?'

Hopefully she answers. You can ask her about Curtis. Or maybe you're better off just forgetting him. You're almost too embarrassed to tell anyone. You're probably being stupid. 

You go back to your work. Gloria is already gone. You barely saw her before she left for the courthouse and Charles dipped out after his lunch. You might be the only person left in the office.

You enjoy the solitary. You feel like you haven't been alone in forever. You never realised how much you actually enjoy it.

Your steady typing fills the silence. You ease into the lull, the sky dimming through the windows, casting a haze over your cubicle. You save the file and check the time. You should go. At this point, you're working for free.

The click of a door handle frightens you. You assure yourself it's just the cleaner but the scuff of a sole assures you otherwise. Andy lets out a garbled noise.

"Shoot, sorry, I didn't realise anyone was still here," he says.

"Just about to leave," you grab your phone and make a face at the new alert. Even more messages and none from Stephanie. 

"Avoiding home?" Andy wonders as he pulls shut his office door.

"Not exactly," you shut down your computer and grab your bag from under your desk, "just… not in a hurry."

"I know the feeling. Not rearing to sit down to a microwave steak and powdered potatoes," he kids, "you know what people never warn you about when you divorce? The cooking."

You force a laugh. It's nice of him to humour you. You suppose your problems could be worse. You don't have to worry about custody or alimony or really anything but yourself. Maybe that's why Curtis is making you so anxious.

"Not tryna be inappropriate but you have any suggestions? Might be better off grabbing something on the way."

"Er," you shoulder your bag, "the taco place isn't too bad from what I hear. My friends said it was amazing.:

"You didn't go?"

"Uh, no," you admit as you rub your neck, making the awkward shuffle towards the door ahead of him, "I was busy."

You won't admit that they didn't invite you and that you were at home watching their Insta stories about the ghost pepper salsa. No one needs to know that. You wish you could forget that altogether.

"Hmm, I don't mind Mexican," he follows you through the door, "how about you? What's for dinner?"

"I don't know, cereal," you scoff as you head down the stairs, "easier than cooking."

He's quiet as the stairs creak beneath his feet. The old building groans as you come down to the main floor. You don't even feel much like eating. 

"I hate to be… too forward but you wanna join me for tacos? My treat."

"Hmm?" You pause at the door and glance back at him.

"I mean, you want something quick and I hate eating alone. Every night. In front of the TV."

You feel a pluck of sympathy. You can't tell if he's playing it up or joking. You also don't know how acceptable it would be to have dinner with your boss.

"You don't have to stay. We can grab take out and you can enjoy it at home."

You keep your hand on the door and tap your toe. It's just food, right? You hate to turn down a free meal and Andy's harmless. 

"If I'm being honest, I really just don't wanna walk in by myself. I feel like a bit of a sad sack," he lowers his voice. "So?"

You tilt your head back and forth. It will be a good excuse not to look at your phone. You tuck the cell phone on the side pocket of your bag and give a smile.

"Sure, why not? If you're paying, I'm not complaining."

[copperbadge]

Have we found a tumblr replacement yet? Apparently the latest “live” shenanigans were the thing that it took to break me. I’m not trying to stir shit, I’m just mostly here for you and a couple other blogs, so I’m going wherever you go.

I wish, but unfortunately not so far. I mean, I've talked a little about how I'd like to find one but there aren't really any viable ones right now, and there may not be a fandom mass-migration for years still. I'm more likely to follow the crowd than blaze a trail in this case, so it may be some time. For now my only real tactic is to simply not engage with staff or support at Tumblr in any way, and accept the changes as gradual steps towards the site's demise with as much serenity as I can muster.

I've already accidentally opened Tumblr Live twice while trying to navigate the app, which I'm sure is intentional, given I've now suddenly opened Tumblr Live twice since its inception instead of Zero. Relatedly, I would love to see them redirect that passion into making the "Mute Notifications" button actually work, but mine is not to reason why.

Anyway. There are options available, like obviously there are other social media platforms, but none have quite the combination of "easy to use" and "has a lot of people on it" and "Offers the same functionality" (photo and video hosting, an app, etc) even with an "ease of use" and "functionality" that are as crap as Tumblr's.

For example, Dreamwidth is great, but it's a Livejournal code fork so it's a very different format from Tumblr, more labor-intensive to make and share posts (no reblog function, image embedding can get a bit complicated, etc). CoHost is new and very promising but a bit of a ghost town right now -- I'm there and I've had a bunch of people find me there but still exponentially less than are on Tumblr. Pillowfort I still need to re-investigate; I'm there as well but it's been a while since I looked in, and I was struggling with the functionality previously. I had a look at Mastodon, but as positive as decentralized servers could be for the future of social media, I actively dislike the idea, and it also seems difficult to set up and complex to maintain. Discord is....there, and a lot of fandom stuff has shifted there, but its structure is very different and it's also decentralized, and also I hate it passionately and refuse to use it, so that's a no-go for me, though I suspect it's where fandom might end up.

If you're struggling with accessing tumblr directly, you might consider feeding the blogs you follow to an RSS reader -- I know people who do that and find it pretty functional, because then if they want to comment they can just pop open the specific post and deal with it directly. I don't know how much you know about RSS and I don't have the energy to fully explain it right now, but NetVibes is a pretty decent free RSS reader and it's what I use for certain blogs outside of Tumblr.

In any case, if I do find a place, or if I see the migration beginning, I'll sound the alarm :) In the meantime I'm still reading through my tumblr, stashing away posts to save off when I leave, even if that'll be a while.

[pygmi-says-hi]

Hi! I wanted to ask some pointers on humour writing, as well as *ahem* angst/injury writing. I'm writing a story where the very beginning will have some descriptions of a serious injury. After that, it will turn to humour. I KNOW you already did one about blood loss so if there's nothing more to add, you can ignore the injury part of this lol. (Still would love angst pointers)

Anyways, thanks so much! You're amazing for giving these tips!

OH! additionally, advice for emotional writing? I'm currently writing a story where a couple end up breaking up, later becoming friends. I am struggling writing the emotional phone calls and things.

Again, thanks so much!

hello!

SO this is long so there'll be a divider in the middle. I'll do the humor/injury part and then the second bit.

humor

so you think ur a comedian, eh? Humor is really hard to write and I'm gonna be honest, it's something you just gotta roll with. Not everybody has the same sense of humor. Not everybody is gonna pick up on the humor you are trying to write. It's just a fact. That being said, when you consider the intelligibility of your writing, you don't wanna think about that too much.

Like most of my posts, for example. I'm pretty sardonic and affectionately aggressive, which is kind of a theme on tumblr, so most people understand it. If you read the comment section however, you can also pick out the people who just have no fucking clue what's going on.

that's gonna happen! it's fine.

When you are thinking about the kind of humor you want to put in your story, think about the role you want it to play. Are you writing an honest to God, Jim Carrey slapstick or is the comedy a vessel for something more poignant? either is a good choice, but each has its own pointers.

when you are writing in the humor, the biggest guiding point I can say is 'does it make sense?' the audience might not share the sense of humor, but as long as they can clue into the subtext and still follow the story, that's what matters. Otherwise nobody will be able to follow it.

The humor also needs to make sense for the kind of story. Unless you are intentionally playing with social stereotypes, frat boy jokes don't make sense in a dramatic romance. Just like sarcastic 'tumblr' humor won't make sense in a victorian era, even if your main character is quirky.

At the end of the day, it's your story. Whatever makes sense, still pulls off the funny bits, and tells the story is a-okay.

major injury

yes i already did a post but it's okay! I've actually muted the notifications on that one because oh my god.

I digress.

angsty injuries are great because it's a good time for some poetry. I like describing open wounds like moldy fruit because they both smell bad, squish if you step on them, and the bloody pulpy stuff kinda looks like raspberry jam. Or pomegranates! describing it like a pomegranate is actually symbolic because of the association with death.

wow that was graphic.

well anyway, describing injuries that are angsty is best with prose and a lot of really sentimental moments. I also did a post on my other acct @pygmi-cygni that I unfortunately haven't transferred over yet about sentence structure? or maybe it was linked into my grammar post? I don't remember but one of my most recent asks also brought it up; playing with sentence structure to convey emotion.

hope that helps?? i confused myself so maybe not.

emotional writing

lovely stuff.

dig deep into the character mindsets. Do a lot of yes/no up/down. Like character one has one opinion/emotional feeling and the other one directly parallels it. it adds tension and makes the readers pine after the relationship.

the characters are confused too. like, this person they used to share a house and sleep together and eat together and now. don't?

It feels like a gaping wound. They'll feel maybe lost, a bit disoriented. Probably a lotttt of awkward calls. maybe slip in an accidental pet name? Just, really highlight the sad nostalgia. As if you think of something and understand fundamentally that it's gone forever. that kind of acheyness in your chest.

dual POV works great here too to get both sides of the story.

FLASHBACKS. to the relationship, and then to the exact same situation but they're not talking/not like they were. like 'oh I'm making pancakes, we used to make pancakes on saturdays and then cut to the other character eating pancakes alone also.

or something.

oof i want to cry now.

thanks I hope I helped??? it's 6 am I might revisit this lmao

[anneapocalypse]

I'm sorry for all the grumpyposting today; I do try not to make this most of what I blog about these days, but sometimes, I just can't not.

Not long ago I had to mute notifications on a Shadowbringers post I actually liked because someone reblogged it saying that the way Thancred treats Ryne is Minfilia's fault actually and I got really sick of seeing people reblog that version agreeing with it (while ignoring the point I was actually making). I'm probably missing interactions on that post I might have enjoyed because I just didn't want to see that every day anymore. And it's not even that I don't think Thancred should get any grace for his missteps; I have a lot of issues with the way his arc is written but I do ultimately like him (and I enjoy him quite a bit in EW and DT! he has some moments that I really love).

It's the scapegoating. Find a female character and blame her for everything. Everything that's wrong in the story in-universe and out, it's all her fault. She's annoying. She's boring. She too nice. She's too mean. She's too emotional. She's too cold. She's underdeveloped. She has too much screentime. She tells us what to do. We're not involved in her story enough. You defend her, and they move the goalposts. Actually it's this. Actually it's this. And on and on and on.

I try to focus on posting positively about things I enjoy, but sometimes I am unavoidably reminded that fandom is still like this about female characters and it makes me tired.

[iviarellereads]

All Systems Red, Chapter 1

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which we meet our new best friend.

(As a preface: the story is once again in past tense, but this time, first-person. "I was". My summaries will continue to be in third-person present tense because that's how my brain works, but quotes will be verbatim.)

I could have become a mass murderer after I hacked my governor module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours(1) or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,000 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed.(2) As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.

Murderbot is doing its job on a new contract, hoping the two scientists, Dr. Volescu and Dr. Bharadwaj, finish soon so it can go watch episode 397 of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.(3) It's distracted, and kind of bored, and considers trying to figure out how to backdoor the system to listen to music without notifying the HubSystem(4) as the scientists take samples from one of the many craters on the coast.

Only, then the crater explodes.

MB doesn't call for help in the way we'd understand. It sends its visual feed directly to Dr. Mensah,(5) and scrambles down into the crater to help as it hears Mensah on the emergency comm channel calling for the others to get moving to help as well.

MB gets a bunch of conflicting commands, but knowing the emergency takes priority anyway, it ignores them and all the data it doesn't need. At the bottom of the crater, it skips the small weapons built into its arms, and gets out the projectile weapon on its back. The hostile creature is more than big enough to justify it.

MB gets Bharadwaj out of the creature's mouth, and shoves the gun down its throat, then shoots where it hopes the brain might be. The creature disappears back down its tunnel, leaving Bharadwaj in MB's care. It puts the gun away, and since its base mechanical structure is still functioning even with a bit of lost flesh and armour, it lifts her, raises its body heat to help her stay warm, and thinks about how to get out of the crater.

It sees Volescu huddled to the side, terrified, and it starts talking to him, calmly. It can't touch him to move him or drag him, because it needs to keep Bharadwaj from bleeding out, but it makes its voice firm but warm and starts gently needling Volescu to get up and come out of the crater with it and Bharadwaj. Volescu stands and staggers over, and MB tells him to hold onto its arm as they get out.

By now, Mensah has managed to mute most of the alerts and notifications and data requests, so MB only has to focus on the MedSystem feed. It gets the humans out of the crater, and coaxes Volescu a few further meters before he collapses, just in case the thing can come out further. It can feel that something in its torso is damaged, and runs its visual feed back to find that it was stabbed with some sort of tooth-like thing it can't begin to identify, because they don't educate murderbots in anything but murder.

The hopper with everyone else on the team lands, and MB turns its helmet opaque so they won't see it, then says on the comm that it can't put Bharadwaj down because of the damage. Mensah tells it to bring her into the crew cabin, following the procedures that would be required if it had a working governor module.(6)

I carried Bharadwaj up the ramp into the cabin, where Overse and Ratthi were frantically unclipping seats to make room. They had their helmets off and their suit hoods pulled back, so I got to see their horrified expressions when they took in what was left of my upper body through my torn suit. I was glad I had sealed my helmet. This is why I actually like riding with the cargo. Humans and augmented humans in close quarters with murderbots is too awkward. At least, it’s awkward for this murderbot.

MB sits on the floor, bracing Bharadwaj, as the other crew bring Volescu inside. One of them, Dr. Ratthi, offers to go get the cases of equipment left behind, and MB makes a small mistake: it yells "No!" because that's accidental suicide by monster, when it should never talk-back at the clients. Fortunately, it's hidden in the cries of "No!" from everyone else on the hopper, with Pin-Lee adding, "For fuck's sake, Ratthi!"

Ratthi, for his part, remembers that they have bigger priorities with Bharadwaj's injuries, and closes the hatch so they can take off immediately.

The hopper is still close enough to see on the cameras when another hostile, or the same one, comes up right under where it sat moments before. Mensah speeds up the vertical, and everyone ends up on the floor. Pin-Lee starts telling off Ratthi for lack of self-preservation, and Ratthi finishes the argument with a sense of it being a familiar one. Mensah also tells Ratthi that it's an order to not get himself killed. MB notes that she sounds calm, but it can see on the MedSystem that her heart is racing.(7)

Arada pulled out the emergency medical kit so they could stop the bleeding and try to stabilize Bharadwaj. I tried to be as much like an appliance as possible,(8) clamping the wounds where they told me to, using my failing body temperature to try to keep her warm, and keeping my head down so I couldn’t see them staring at me. *** PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY AT 60% AND DROPPING(9)

They make it back to the central habitat, which looks a lot less safe now that MB knows there are tunneling hostiles. Dr. Gurathin has a gurney ready, so MB can put Bharadwaj down at last. Following the humans inside, it also increases security with drone patrols and higher sensitivity on the seismic monitors, locking down the habitat so no one can leave without it.

The habitat secured, MB goes to the "security ready room" where all the supplies related to security are stored, including MB. It takes off its armour, sprays wound sealant on at MedSystem's suggestion despite that it's able to close its blood vessels automatically, and sets itself to off-duty.

It can't put on its spare armour, or even the base uniform, so it gets a survival blanket from a first aid kit and gets into its cubicle to start the repair and resupply process, as it reaches 58% function.

It's just queued up some media, not to focus on, but just to keep it company, when there's a knock on the door. Confused, it says, "Uh, yes?" Mensah enters.

She said, “Are you all right? I saw your status report.” “Uh.” That was the point where I realized that I should have just not answered and pretended to be in stasis. I pulled the blanket around my chest, hoping she hadn’t seen any of the missing chunks. Without the armor holding me together, it was much worse. “Fine.” So, I’m awkward with actual humans. It’s not paranoia about my hacked governor module, and it’s not them; it’s me. I know I’m a horrifying murderbot, and they know it, and it makes both of us nervous, which makes me even more nervous. Also, if I’m not in the armor then it’s because I’m wounded and one of my organic parts may fall off and plop on the floor at any moment and no one wants to see that.

Mensah is concerned because the report said MB lost 20% of its body mass, but MB assures her it can regrow. Mensah seems to accept this, but hesitates to leave, and tells MB it was very good with Volescu, at the attack site. MB says it's standard emergency instructions, but Mensah says she knows MedSystem was prioritizing Bharadwaj's injuries, and expected Volescu to be able to leave under his own power: it didn't account for the shock.

MB, tapped into the cameras in the main room, can see that the others are reviewing Volescu's camera feed and discussing MB, saying things like they didn't know it had a face. It knows it's stayed in its armour since arrival, mostly to maintain a distance from them. They're just contract clients, they won't be permanent, and as much as it hates people-ing, it would be pointless to interact unnecessarily.

To Mensah, MB says it's part of its job to account for the System making occasional mistakes. It thinks she should know that, it's part of the package, and why a SecUnit with its organic components(10) is a non-negotiable part of company deals. It knows she logged about ten protests, trying to get out of having a SecUnit at all.

I didn’t hold it against her. I wouldn’t have wanted me either.(11) Seriously, I don’t know why I didn’t just say you’re welcome and please get out of my cubicle so I can sit here and leak in peace.

Mensah looks at MB for objectively 2.4 seconds, subjectively twenty horrible minutes. She tells it to let her know in the feed if it needs anything sooner than its scheduled 8 hour restoration cycle, then leaves.

MB wonders why she made such a big deal of the rescue, and replays its own recording of the incident. It realizes it was talking to Volescu all the way up the crater incline, asking him if he has kids and that sort of thing.(12) It hadn't even been listening to itself at the time, more focused on Bharadwaj and the hopper's trajectory. It wonders if it's been watching too much human media. In an aside it clarifies that Volescu does have seven children with his partners in a four-way marriage back home.

All my levels were too elevated now for a rest period, so I decided I might as well get some use out of it and look at the other recordings. Then I found something weird. There was an “abort” order in the HubSystem command feed, the one that controlled, or currently believed it controlled, my governor module.(13) It had to be a glitch. It didn’t matter, because when MedSystem has priority— PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY AT 39% STASIS INITIATED FOR EMERGENCY REPAIR SEQUENCE

=====

(1) Just shy of 4 years, if people are measuring time the same way whenever and wherever this is set. (2) A bot after my own heart, spending as much of its time taking in media as physically possible without giving itself away by not following an order. (3) This is a show Murderbot mentions a lot. What do we think it's about, just off the top here, based on the name and the duration alone? (4) A lot of the words in this series are gonna be kinda self-explanatory. I left "governor module" alone because, in context, it makes its own sense, a module that's supposed to override anything a construct might theoretically think about doing outside mission parameters and company rules, and punish any that happen because of organic parts being unpredictable. (Oh no, I snuck in a bonus definition.) HubSystem is, similarly, the networked system that serves as a hub for everything attached to the mission, to communicate back to the company. (5) Clearly, some sort of leader or organizer, from context. (6) MB knows its rules and regs, if only to follow them with malicious minimum compliance. (7) Do we think MB hacked MedSystem, to see information it might not otherwise have access to, or is it typical for a security unit to potentially need to monitor the biofunctions of the clients it's tasked to defend? (8) MB deliberately tucking itself into its expected role, because as we see later this chapter, it's not particularly worried about its governor module being found out, it just… doesn't enjoy people. (9) A recurring status update throughout MB's point of view. Its performance reliability, its literal ability to do its job, will go up and down based on its current condition, just like any person's. I wonder if it's possible to function at 100%. I think organic bits get in the way of that by literal nature. (10) Organic components, like a human brain, which is still superior to any algorithmic training they can come up with, which will still recognize certain flaws that you can't train out of pure machines. (11) Noooo, my heart, not in the first chapter! How dare! (12) It may not like humans, but it understands how to deal with them, at least in times of stress. Maybe it's "too much media" but it's also just... a person. I'm exactly the same sort of person, I do not recharge in the presence of other people in my meatspace on any level, but I'm very good at masking and doing what needs done, whether that's politeness and asking about the weather or playing along with deeper conversation. (No need to wonder why I love these books so much. No need for me to examine why I relate so hard to a literal robot.) (13) How suspicious... but surely it can't mean anything. Surely.

[starwood-stranded]

Non-FR roleplay-related vent

I love forum RP's, but I'm struggling sooo hard to find RP groups that appeal to me and don't use Discord as their primary platform. I like using Discord for OOC communication, but when it comes to RP threads themselves, I'd much rather write them somewhere easier to sort and archive, like a forum. What really hit me today was the fact that the toyhou.se forums are 90% Discord groups. Like, toyhou.se is a beautifully-crafted RP platform, and the Worlds forum is plainly intended for recruiting people to RP with you on toyhou.se, but I see about 3 toyhou.se/forum/website groups recruiting there, including my own -- all the others use Discord for threads. If I don't want to RP on Discord, where am I supposed to go?

And speaking of my own group ... I know the answer to "I can't find exactly what I want" is "make your own," but I've tried that, repeatedly, and everything I try to make flops. In my last few attempts, I've gotten plenty of interest -- sometimes more than I could fit in a group -- started setting things up, put lots of work into the group ... But then when I ask people to submit character sheets so we can start RPing, nobody responds. People won't even say "Sorry, I'm busy" or "I'm confused and need help"; there's just silence.One of my friends today pointed out that part of the problem might be that I usually have people sign up while an RP is still in development, so a little time (maybe a couple weeks) will pass between people being recruited and asked for character sheets, and in that time people just lose interest. But I can't just present people with a polished premise/platform and ask them to jump right in -- I find it extremely difficult to set up an entire RP group on my own, without any feedback to at least encourage me, if not actively help.

It seems like the only way to create an RP group at this point is to already have an existing RP group. I have a few RP buddies, but they don't really want to participate in the kind of structured group RP I like -- we do casual 1x1's on Discord, which are great, but I want something more. Two of my friends did go ahead and sign on to my latest project, but the other 9 people who signed up have gone radio silent, and I can't do it with just the three of us.

I'm at the point where I'm considering RPing in genres or settings that I don't even like just because I can actually find an active forum.

(If you're wondering why I don't like RPing on Discord, I find it very difficult to organize threads on Discord, with its channel system instead of boards full of discrete threads. I also like to be able to look back through threads, which is much easier in a forum environment than in Discord. Finally, I get overwhelmed by Discord notifications very easily -- I can't imagine how painful it would be to get a notification every time someone in a group makes an IC post. And yes, I know muting is a thing, but it's a hassle to manage.)

IDK what I expect from posting this here. Advice if anyone has any, maybe some sympathy if not? Actually, the realistic outcome is that no one will read this post, but [shrug].

[emilreloaded]

hmmnh. I recognize I'm not the target audience here, but right out of the gate I have frustrations.

When I share a tumblr link these days, there's a JavaScript overlay for new users that says something cutesy like "you need clearance for that!" While I understand the 'top of the funnel' issue you're trying to solve here, it feels like this is the wrong way to approach it. It makes me less likely to share a direct link and much more likely to just screenshot the content and share that instead. It exacerbates the issue rather than addressing it. (Aside: this is also the reason I don't use Instagram)

Enticing users to sign up really ought to come from a place of wanting to have and see all their cool things in one place, not coercion. Which dovetails fairly well into item #2: Organization vs. Recommendation. Again, I'm probably in the minority here, but I actually do click/tap on the little carousels when they catch my interest. But I almost never follow a new blog that way because

I know the same carousel is going to come up again multiple times while I'm scrolling and

if I follow another blog, it's going to get lost in my feed. And it won't show up in the carousel anymore.

I follow several hundred blogs. If I follow them, I won't see the artist who posts once a week except through serendipity. But I will see that carousel at least half a dozen times over the same week.

If I could organize my own feeds (perhaps with some flavor of recommended categorization that I'm not forced to follow), I would gladly and readily follow and engage with creators who interest me.

And on that note, it might be easier to attract creators to the platform if it was conducive to positive interactions. Allowing "engagement with individual replies and reblogs" sounds a lot like we're just trying to cash in on the reddit exodus (Rexodus). Which is okay, but maybe consider why there was such a backlash to Reddit's policy change in the first place (hint: it was a cash grab that limited the ways people could access the content). If the changes here enrage enough software engineers and web developers, then they will take a run at a replacement. (see also: twitter clones)

Now, let's move on to social engineering and attempting to get people to keep coming back. I have push notifications on, but I mute the app during my normal working hours. I do this using an external scheduling function native to Android, and it's the primary reason I only use the mobile app. If I start getting emails because my push notifications are off, I'm adding the address to my spam filter. I keep coming back because of the few mutuals I've got here, and the few weird communities that remain post-nipple-purge. And again, I rarely add new blogs because they'd get buried in the conversations from those communities. If I could, again, have the option to organize those conversations into their own feeds, then I'd probably be following several thousand blogs instead of a few hundred.

Last point regarding stability? Good. No notes.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[beforehappiness]

how do I willingly delete my Instagram? I hate it, and want to be free of it, but as an artist and an introvert I use it to kind of.. prove myself? Like I find it an easy way to show people who I am, if that makes sense. How can I be confident without it?

It's pretty easy you just go on Instagram and click the option to delete your account. (don't forget you can request a backup of your data which includes all your posts if you don't have them saved anywhere else).

But I'm guessing that's not the part you're struggling with.

You have to ask yourself what you want out of Instagram and are you getting it? Are you using it to share your art and socialise or are you spending hours looking at reels? Are you comparing yourself with other artists to negative effect? Are you following the lives of celebrities and hating your own? Are you being sold products with every scroll? Are you really socialising or just looking at how much fun your friends are having without ever talking to them anymore?

There are other ways of showing off your art and socialising with friends that bypass social media designed to rot your brain and sell you products.

I can only suggest what I use or have heard of.

To socialise a very easy way is to use WhatsApp. The messages are encrypted, you can have them dissappear after a chosen amount of time. You can send photos. You can make group chats. You can send voice messages. And you use each others phone numbers, so if you ever needed to reach them in urgency you can actually call them/text them. You know, like back in the day.

Another way is Discord, this has the added benefit of Servers dedicated to specific things like games, shows, dnd groups, probably anything you're interested in, you could find a group to join. But also you can just chat privately to one person or make a group chat. Or even make your own server for your own book club? One thing to mention with the servers if you don't know, you can mute the channel notifications for the whole server or specific channels, otherwise the notifications will be too much.

If you are a gamer then you may already know about Steam since it is like the number one place to get games on pc. Apart from gog. But you can also add friends on it. And see what your friends are playing and play with them.

Now, in terms of sharing your art there is of course tumblr. I think deviantart is still around. Flickr. Hitrecord might still be going? You can also make your own online portfolio. Some people use redbubble. Etsy if you want to sell your art.

What I've often seen online is a combo, where you share your art on Tumblr but have links to a more professional looking portfolio and somewhere else where people can buy your art. Again places like etsy or inprnt or redbubble you can use to sell your art. Or even if your art is more involved, maybe you make videos about it or post photos of it in progress? Then I'd suggest patreon as well.

In the end I don't think anything I say will convince you to quit Instagram because this is a choice you have to make for yourself. You have to want to choose yourself and your health and understand there are better alternatives out there. And of course, do your own reaserch to find what best suits You.

[kingmojomonkey]

Personal rant ignore (Dec 2023 part 2)

after a week the texts has stopped as i predicted im both glad/relieved as i knew it was stupid but also a teeny bit disappointed, but now at least i know that there is people i can be attracted to and want to talk to, that may actually like me back idk but its something at least...though they couldve at least liked the last message that is what i would do lol i might mute their insta stories for a few days just so i dont feel a type of way but also I'll put of a pic on mine hopefully looking alright haha but thats petty as shit and feeds into me wanting them to text when i know its dumb territory

Update 15 dec 2023, 5 days after the start of this post....so the texting didnt stop nor did i post something up, they had text me in like nearly 24hrs when i wrote this but at the weekend at 12.15am my time so 1.15am for them they text me, when clear they were out out/drinking it was an innocent text but i could tell they were out because of the spelling (i know they cant speak english good but it was different to their other texts and the time made me put 2 and 2 together) even though i was awake i didnt text back at that time haha that seemed like an even worse idea then the two of us texting normally does...i was suprised when it was deleted the next day and weve been continuing are texts since then its basically had only been one response to each per day and incredibly innocent and they had been sending some as voice notes as they said it was easier to speak then spell for them in english and hearing them say my name in the way that nonirish or british do (they say it as knee-cole rather than nih-cole) was a feeling haha....but yeah it had been incredibly innocent nothing i would be worried with cuz hey in my head maybe they couldve been just like nicole was a cool person that i met id like to keep in touch with them, because like i said its been incredibly innocent texts helped by only one message and a short one at that too...but today they implied slight more than you are just an interesting person as they added a 😙 to the end of their text (never one to flirt i had sent my normal 😊😅 alongside my replies to the text) as for their reply...they stupidly asked me about work even though i said im currently out of work because i dont start my new job until late january...and their reply was smooth and scary for me "ah that's good then that means we can text more 😏" with a fucking smirk emoji!!! like shit so it isnt all innocent which im still 50/50 because again were both dumb for texting each other diff countries diff languages etc etc, but know they know i dont work so i dont realistically have an excuse not to text them back for like 16hours which is shit haha but also like damn? and I cant really talk about this to anyone because it is all still fairly innocent and been going on for less than 2 weeks so i cant say it to my friend (the one who introduced us) as it is to early to mention when they could just stop talking to me tomorrow and as for my other friend shell think im stupid for responding hahahah

update 16 dec 2023

so I did reply and to my reply they said they were in work and theyd reply later which is fine especially knowing that i dont work rn, but a funny thing happened the slight flirtier text was that we could text more and they put the kissy emoji to the next evolution 😘 which dear god why i never know what to do but i liked it through the notifications bar, and the later on my walk checked that it sent and it did, but later in the evening when i very much knew theyd be off work especially because their timezone is an hour ahead i went to check my messages and it came up that i never opened their text the stupid like didnt send or unsent or something idk but that was funny and stupid for me and we text back and forth for a bit again very innocent...but they again was out with their friends and its clear that theyre someone who goes out or drinks at least every weekend, which shouldnt be suprisisng as thats how i met them, but it calls the stupidity of our interactions into question what if they get drunk and tell their friends they are still texting the girl from the drunken make out who lives in a different country and doesnt speak their language and that makes them realise were being stupid or if they drunk text me something big dumb or more realistically they meet someone else which is the most likely option and ill understand they wouldnt even have to warrant me a text they dont owe me anything that way, we literally made out once, but it will still disappoint me,....however as they have been getting brave again with their texts how am i meant to flirt and dear god if we make it to a sexting stage on what instagram that would be so fucking weird and also to what point unless they decide to do a trip to dublin (not staying with me) or gran can or some shit nothings ever going to happen...but this is just my stupid over thinking in question they could decide tomorrow to stop texting me or more realistically monday because theyll probs be out drinking again tomorrow, its only been like 12 days for all i know im just theyre manic pixie dreamgirl that blew in from a different country and had a slight interest in them and gave them more confidence then they generally do apparently (my friend and the other girl that knew them was suprised that they went in for a kiss and a long one at that) and when the idea of me goes so will the texting idk everrytime is dumb and i also like the idea and the possibility of them but is the fact that they are unattainable realistically the draw? idek lol

Update 17 dec 2023

So they were out last night, they had sent me a love heart at end of last text, but i was pretending to go out too so the text had just said speak to you tomorrow followed by ooh have fun too with the heart, which i just liked because that doesnt warrant a reply because all i could of said was okay or thanks...and they haven't text me all day, maybe the copped on that i have sent a kissy emoji or genuine heart emoji back or maybe they just realised the whole situation is dumb i dunno but either that was a last text or theyll text me in a day or too i just know i cant be the one to text again today, the ball is in their court because i know for the next month at least that im not going to see/make out with anyone -unless i go out to either of my uni friends but they both have partners so its not like we'd be going clubbing lol so chances of that are slim- so idm texting harmlessly and getting to know them and a bit of flirting but they are going to be the one who will have to either ignore my existence or straight out say something either like we'll see where this takes us or this is dumb lol.....its been a few hours after i wrote this last piece and it is very much clear to me that i want them to text and that scares me...because do i like them or do i just like the attention i have gone from at least 4 non family people (in ibiza i was surrounded by other roughly my age or in same experience and in college i was too) now it is only my mam and sisters, so is it the attention of someone who is not a family that i like or do i like them? and like clearly i like them enough that i gave them my insta and made out and danced with them that night when i had another option that night (a friend of theirs who tried too too hard) and to be honest they do seem like a genuine person their job is okay, they spend time with friends and family and theyre really sweet.....and this is a problem for me because i have caught the slightest of feelings for them or even just to see where this goes which could literally be already done by now if they dont reply until tomorrow because idk and yes i could easily text them and just be like hey how was your day but its 21.37 there now and i know they do be up early early like 6am so it would be late for them if i text now and also if they did meet someone last night i dont want to pop up as a notification ugh i shouldve text earlier but now its too late idk idk idk idk why am i so awkward

Update 18 Dec 2023

I kinda gave myself panic attack over the situation...because in my head i was like oh if they text me in the morning before they go to work its fine but they didnt and then i was also thinking maybe because i just liked their last message maybe they thought i wasnt interested and that was panicking me (when in reality it is more than likely because they realised its dumb that we text) so idk...but i left them a text there just hey how are you how was your weekend and a smiley face if they dont reply in 2 days i know its over (and id go in and delete my message lol) and they judt reply with good and no extension message I'll know and I'll try to fizzle it out like i was initally...it just fucks me up more because they had got a bit more flirty in the last couple of days if they hadnt i wouldve been fine leaving it the way it was idk but i feel like a dumb bitch for getting anxiety over it...update from many hours later, they did reply (though had i not text I'll never know if they weren't going to) and it was nice...then they later asked me for my actual phone number for whatsapp because it's somehow easier there idk idk what change having them on whatsapp will be but it who knows....however whatsapp in general scares me because i always feel so close to accidently writing or ringing the wrong person

Update 21 Dec 2023

So they added me on whatsapp and the texts continued they have been sending some kissy emojis and hearts and shit, though the conversations has been still very innocent...they sent a photo of themselves (and their mother technically haha) and though their head is probably the length of my torso because they are super tall they are still cute, which meant i was suppose to text them back a pic and i stupidly forgot to put it on the once off picture thing which sucks so it means they just straight up has my pic now but its an alright one im literally outside with my jacket hood pulled up and shit jaha....but they text me something brave and i dunno how to feel about it lol, like i get their idea because why would we bother to text if not to eventually meet up, basically they figured out I'm free until the end of jan and said they might potentially come to dublin....scary thought but exciting nonetheless...if they did come though, they must get a hotel cuz they cant stay with me and i would prefer if they came with a friend so there wouldnt be an immense pressure on me because we dont really speak the same language so of they came with a friend they can still do things together and then maybe we could meet up and if they did decide to come desr god let it only be for like 1 night 2 max because again so much pressure...but also if someone who i only made out with once and just very innocently text since flies to my country in the hope of going on a date/fucking me how would my ego ever recover lol...when they said about possibly coming to dublin i just replied with ooo that would be nice, as thats not a yeah totally book it in or its not a ew why would you do that its potentially like a maybe...but i was also talking to my friend and i do need to make it clear that im going to gran can and i wont be able to easily hop back and forth to amsterdam like maybe when im in mallorca it would be easier but who knows lol its crazy and i feel like i need to text the friend whos in amsterdam for more advice lol but shes going to think im so fucking dumb for texting them but she is also the most romantic out of us all so i think she would be the most like aw no way but i need to make sure she is in ibiza when i text haha so she cant spread it to her friends and it gets back to them that ive been talking about them....also theres the possibility that it won't happen and the possibility that between now and new years even that they'll meet somebody else and all will be done so idk whether its worth it to tell her ill wait until the 27th of dec to tell her thats 6 days I'll see what happens there....and also the weird thing about the texting is weve never been like oh i like you or your cute or hot or whatever and they had been sending the emojis and i was just sending back smileys but when they said goodnight after the dublin thing i sent back a love heart for the first and i havent got a reply but f them i replied first the other time they can text if they want to if not fine

Update 22 Dec 2023

so they still havent replied since i did the love heart with the goodnight and tonight is friday so theyll be defo going out so I'm probably not going to get a text again i think that was it lol but im going to post a pic to my insta later and one of the field on whatsapp to get them to maybe see it lol...in a very insecure insecure way im thinking why when i finally send them back a heart after them sending it to me and me just doing smileys have they not text the insecurity in me is thinking were they only texting to see how long or what would make me send something back or express emotion i know that a shitty insecure way to think but it is where im at right now like even if they had replied at all yesterday or today it wouldve been better i wish i didnt put the heart at the end of it because it came up seen and all so they clicked onto it....well at around 9 ill post a picture on insta so theyll see it and i wonder if then ill get a text lol.....they viewed my story so like why not just text me, i know i said it would be okay if they stopped and it would but like not on a vulnerableish text if even if it was just a hear emoji lol...and more so like why did they get me on whatsapp, why didnt they just leave it with insta, they text for a couple of days and brave texts too on whatsapp for what reason? at least had it of just been insta you could just let if fizzle out like but why oh why....and the annoying thing is i do really want them to text but i really cant be the one to text back this time i also have been on my period for this journey which also isnt helping so i dont know how much my emotion is my own or just dumb hormones but still ghosting after them last few messages wtf

Update 24 Dec 2023

So it's been 4 days since the last text so I think thats that, shit that the end was at xmas and I also was on my period so i was feeling the hormones hard, but i really don't see them texting again and i am not going to as my 'goodnight 💕' was the last text so it really is on them, and i know 4 days isn't really a long time but when it had been a text or half text everyday it does seem like a lot...and unless i get a text tomorrow or the 26 saying sorry i was busy or just merry xmas how are you i will make no attempt to text them back....but again why ghost after getting flirty mentioning dublin and finally get the heart off me why dip then? dip when it was just how are you good what about you dip at boring times not when things are getting flirty but whatever i have know since the start that it was dumb dumb...but i am self aware enough that i know ill probably panic write about this over the next week lol

Update 25 Dec 2023

will i be desperate and send them a merry christmas even though they never text? it is such a desperate plea for a text and they could ignore it or worse like it its just going 10pm there will i chicken out out is it way to desperate will i leave until 10.30 here so its 11.30 there so it will seem like a drunk text who knows not me will update later....desperate me left a merry christmas 😊 text ew i hate myself for it lol

Update 28 Dec 2023

They did reply and weve been texting a bit again just really about xmas and families stuff like that...I can tell that they too, are insecure, from two separate mesage interactions one was the sent a picture off the table of an afters party and then basically sent an oh shit that on the table wasnt from me (a bag of weed was what they were implying, but everyone in my fam smokes it and they're from amsterdam and it was only weed and alchol on the table lol) which i thought was funny because like why send the pic apart from to show off that they were out lol but when i said i didnt care they were oh i was worried when i realised what was in the photo (i think nah i think they wanted my opinion on weed lol) the 2nd insecure thing was when we were talking about family i asked them was there family big and they responded but they are a multiple small texts texters whereas im paragraph texter but if you join the small texts it basically makes one paragraph text lol and yes my response to what they were saying was a bit dry but i was responding hours later and it was more of a statement that they had sent rather than something i could yes and, and then a good while later they replied, and i paraphrase, "four messages one story a little too enthusiastic 😅" initially i thought it was a dig at my response and like it is kinda because it implies that while they feel like they overshared it didnt seem like i was interested or something idk but it shows that they were insecure enough about their interest in texting me that they text me that if that makes sense? While i am not one to be puffing up someones ego i did text them back that it was realisticaly 2 sentences and they were responding to something i had asked (i didnt add this part but it wasnt like they randomly volunteered the info) but thats the end of the insecurity shit....so yeah weve been texting again id say only because i started up the texting again and theyve sent like a hi with a heart and a goodnight with like a smiley or like kissy emoji but again tonight when they sent goodnight with the kissy emoji i only replied with the blushy smiley because after i sent the heart the last time i got ghosted lol so we'll see im not going to start the texts tomorrow so well see if they do who knows (while it seems desperate i am not going to say i wont text them im giving myself until new years eve to be desperate and text lol i needed something to do in this time void until then lol)

Update 30 Dec 2023

The texting continued bla blah blah but theyve asked me to facetime tomorrow which fucking scares me! Im awkward enough in texts/in person but video call is even worse? and how the fuck am i meant to look good and not worry and it is also nye tomorrow and how will i not be overheard if theyre getting ready to go out? or worse again if im minding my nephew i cant exactly sneak away for a facetime (also i dont have facetime so itll have to be on whatsapp) dear god this is awkward!!......this is from 4pm the following day - i replied to them pretty late but still replied, i had said "yeah sure" to the facetime and then they had they had been with there friends so i just said "cool, i was watching a movie with my sisters" which would also explain the longer wait time in replying...they 'seen' the message just before 9am this morning and just never replied lol, which again like the time with the hearts is annoying because why ghost after you get me to reply the way you wanted me too? i never suggested facetime (it literally never even crossed my mind as an option lol) so like were they drunk when they text it yesterday and realised this morning and chickened out idk idk but still it would be easy to ignore the facetime part and still text...but in anyways i had sent the reply and they havent responded and it wasnt even a goodnight or have fun that didnt respond to so its not like a hey new day text so its a bit more awkard.....

Update 31 Dec 2023 NYE

okay so out of no where no where no pretext which is so strange like bro we havent done a videocall before you can't just randomly ring after not texting and never calling before...i did have make on and my hair done but i was in my pjs haha i never locked my phone sceeen as fast hahaha...ovo i didnt answer i waited 15mins and said oh sorry i didn't see it i was having some food and they were like oh whoops or some shit and i said if you give me 5 mins i could and they said they were at a friends? what in 15 mins bahaha but i said maybe another time then because i dont want our first call to be infront of their friends like wtf and they said the same but now theyre like oh ill text you if theres a right moment like okay? idk....they calls randomly again i answer, and theyre saying theyre nervous etc but they are saying this as fireworks are going off in the background and as theyre walking and i cant hear shit because its all crackling and all and then theyre trying to say about their english and im just nodding being like its okay etc meanwhile i cant hear shit hahaha they said theyll ring me at 12 which is grand for me cuz thats 11 hahaha unless they call at 12 my time then thats a bit more awkward...no ring thankfully as things got fucked up at up at home at that point but they did text later but again they were drunk i also didnt reply until like 4 today as i was babysitting and just really tired haha but they replied, i sent back a quick reply to which they seen but never replied so as the saying goes idk if that was it lol...also i almost told the girl who introduced that we still text but everytime they dont reply im like this is why i havent bothered hahaha because i dont want to make it a big deal but when she returns to amsterdam she could bump into them plus if she happens to go out to the same group the group all know as they sent me random pics of the group or with people from the group in the background so they have more than likely mentioned theyre still texting the short irish girl, so i would feel weirder if she found out not by me but i also dont want to text her in case she makes it into a thing or worse talks to them about it lol but idk im leaving my own country in less than a month so idek what im doing in anyways....i still want them to text though lol why is everytime i say something about the situation to one of my friends they then proceed to ghost....and i had said id allow myself to be stupid until new years eve but idk i can be the one to text again like will thie happen each time theyre drunk idk

Update 3 Jan 2024

The text from new years day has still gone unreplied so i think ive been ghosted (they currently have a story up on their insta but i havent clicked it yet) so it kinda sucks that ive been ghosted i did like texting them and it had been texting albeit short mostly innocent texts for a month, but it sucks that the ghosting came after the like video call and shit do they only have confidence to text when drunk idk....but my friend that introduced us i had to tell because she returned home and she does go out with the them and their friends and they had been sending me pics with such friends in the photos so they probably knew that they were texting me, so i didnt want my friend to go out and them mention something and her not know...i made her promise not to tell i spoke of it tho..but it sucks i had to tell her at the same time of ghosting lol....they had put up a story a random ass one i wonder whether it was to see if i see it but then again theyre the one leaving me on read so idk but then i put on my winter insta ?carrousel? can't spell the word, and they liked it! brooooooo why i get that it could just be im strangely friends with this girl ill give it a like but brroooooooo dont leave me on read then like my post! i do like that they liked it tho!....and ive been in some sorta 'mood' that i havent been in for months so i wish they were in my city and obviously talking to me lol...and also they were so sweet and shit i am a dumb dumb dumbbbbb bitch i shouldve never replied more the day i came back to ireland lol i knew i was being a thick but ah well.... and depending how other things go in the morning i might text them

Update 17 Jan 2024

so it has been a while since i last updated...i did indeed text them that time, im kinda glad i did because we are still texting now...

and we did a like 15/20min video a week or so ago and it was really nice tbh like dont get me wrong it was very basic but i could feel that i was smiling the whole time or trying to hold the smiles in and it wasnt like they were saying anything to particular make me smile i think (puke emoji) it was just there presence?

i also definitley think their mam knows about me, i know the friends do already because they would send me pics with them...but the mam thing yeah, when the vid call started the mam started saying something in dutch to them and they were speaking back and they turn to me and was just like oh she is going to bed now and the mam shouted to the phone in english goodnight which means it was directed for me...but to be fair it is just them and their mam and they were going to be doing a call in a language that is native to them with a person of a different gender and if it was a friend they ovo couldve just spoken dutch to them so i get they mightve had to explain but still haha...

in the call i made it clear as well that my job will be in gran can (i didnt say for how long) but to be fair it is still in europe and the summer placement will be europe too i get gran can is further than ireland but like either way wed have to get on a plane to see each other so idk man

but yeah were still texting and its been cute i had a awkward one with a pic that i forgot to set to one time view...i make sure that i only would send pics id feel comfy with being on my story but the one i sent them was slightly a bit more booby lol

[nickiemoot]

ok so this probably isn't what you meant op, but. i have training on how to handle mental health issues because i work with mentally disabled people, and "withdrawal" (as in getting away from people to be alone) is on both the good AND bad behavioral signs lists.

like obviously there's bad withdrawal where people isolate themselves for extremely long periods of time, do not seek help when they need it, may self harm if no one stops them, etc. thats the time to support them with trying to get them to come back to normal (whatever normal is for that individual).

but there are times when withdrawal is good. sometimes you gotta step back and be alone for a bit. we got someone with anger issues and if he steps away and isolates himself when he's mad, instead of picking a fight, that's good! if one of our noise sensitive folks withdraws when things are too overwhelming before they have a meltdown, that's good! even just a socially anxious person taking time to be alone after too much socializing is good! as their staff my job in these situations is to support them by letting them be, because what they're doing is totally fine.

you aren't obligated to be socially available 24/7, and its actually very healthy to withdraw sometimes. post a post/status/whatever that you need some recharging time and mute your notifications for a while. it might be really good for you. seek help if you do it constantly and for like weeks at a time, but a few hours or days of not wanting to talk to people is very normal and good. don't feel bad about it if you need that <3