#Michael Kolk

[ondasyletras]

Beethoven - Symphony no. 7 (2nd movement, allegretto) arranged for two guitars

[tenth-sentence]

He discovered that how much a mother rat licks and grooms her pups during the first twelve hours after their birth permanently affects the brain chemicals that respond to stress – and modifies the configuration of over a thousand genes.

"The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma" - Bessel van der Kolk

[learnstransformation]

Healthy Lifestyle Books For Health Conscious People

In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is more important than ever. Exercise, a balanced diet, and self-care practices are essential for physical and mental well-being. However, finding the motivation and knowledge to stay on track can be challenging. That’s where books come in handy. Welcome to our comprehensive guide to the best books for healthy lifestyle and fitness-conscious individuals.

Whether you’re a beginner looking to improve your fitness level or a seasoned athlete seeking to optimize your performance, this list has something for everyone. From nutrition and diet to mindfulness and exercise, these books cover a wide range of topics to help you achieve your healthy lifestyle and fitness goals. Dive into this curated selection to find the perfect read that will inspire and guide you on your health journey.

Best Books for a Healthy Lifestyle:

"The Fitness Mindset" by Brian Keane

A motivational guide to transforming your body and mind.

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear

Discover how small changes can lead to remarkable results in your health and fitness routine.

"How Not to Die" by Michael Greger, M.D.

Learn about the impact of diet on longevity and disease prevention.

"Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life" by Brendan Brazier

Perfect for athletes looking to enhance their performance through plant-based nutrition.

"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Understand the connection between mental health and physical well-being.

"Mindfulness for Beginners" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

An excellent introduction to the practice of mindfulness and its benefits.

"The 4-Hour Body" by Tim Ferriss

A comprehensive guide to rapid fat loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman.

"You Are Your Own Gym" by Mark Lauren

Learn to use your body weight for resistance training and achieve peak physical fitness without a gym.

"Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

Promote a healthy relationship with food by listening to your body's natural hunger cues.

"Eat to Live" by Joel Fuhrman, M.D.

A nutrient-rich approach to weight loss and health improvement.

These books are geared towards health-conscious individuals and anyone else who wants to stay fit by encouraging a healthy lifestyle. Embrace the knowledge and inspiration from these experts to take your fitness and well-being to the next level.

To know more: https://giftor.in/best-books-if-you-are-a-health-fitness-conscious/

[abdlmommy]

24 & 43 for the asks please 🥺💜

24. Top 3 Books to read outside of school:

- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

- The 12 Week Year (actively reading) by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

- Emotional Agility by Susan David

43. Top 3 Sports Teams to Watch:

- Football: Packers, Saints, Eagles

- Basketball: Celtics, Nuggets, 76ers (Timberwolves are doing pretty well right now😉)

- Baseball: Red Sox, Cubs, Braves

[clementinecompendium]

To Be Read July 2023

The Mind

The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity―and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race by Daniel Z. Lieberman & Michael E. Long

The Brain: A Very Short Introduction by Michael O'Shea

Consciousness: A Very Short Introduction by Susan Blackmore

The Mind-Gut Connection: How the Hidden Conversation Within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health by Emeran Mayer MD

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion by Jia Tolentino

Sensitive is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World by Anita Moorjani

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron

Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price Ph.D.

Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind by Scott Barry Kaufman & Carolyn Gregoire

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel A. van der Kolk

Music & The Mind (Art Philosophy, Aesthetics, Neuroaesthetics)

Saved by a Song: The Art and Healing Power of Songwriting by Mary Gauthier

The Song Machine: Inside the Hit Factory by John Seabrook

This is What it Sounds Like: What the Music You Love Says About You by Ogi Ogas & Susan Rogers

Why You Like It: The Science and Culture of Musical Taste by Nolan Gasser

The Story of Music: From Babylon to the Beatles: How Music Has Shaped Civilization by Howard Goodall

Of Sound Mind: How Our Brain Constructs a Meaningful Sonic World by Nina Kraus

Aesthetics: A Very Short Introduction by Bence Nanay

Equipment for Living: On Poetry and Pop Music by Michael Robbins

How Music Works by David Byrne

General Non-Fiction / History / Science

The Russian Revolution: A Very Short Introduction by S. A. Smith

The French Revolution: A Very Short Introduction by William Doyle

Linguistics: A Very Short Introduction by P. H. Matthews

Mathematics: A Very Short Introduction by Timothy Gowers

After the End of Art: Contemporary Art and the Pale of History by Arthur C. Danto

Flappers by Judith Mackrell

Marketing for Dummies, 6th edition by Jeanette McMurty MBA

Sinatra: The Chairman by James Kaplan

Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland by Gerald Clarke

Self-Improvement

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff

Self Compassion for Dummies by by Steven Hickman PsyD (in progress)

The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself by Beverly Engel

The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries & Transform Your Relationships by Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW

Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When it Matters Most by Adam Alter

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristin Neff PhD

The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander

Be Angry: The Dalai Lama on What Matters Most by His Holiness the Dalai Lama,

Anger: The Conflicted History of an Emotion by Barbara H. Rosenwein

The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again by Catherine Price

In Awe: Rediscover Your Childlike Wonder to Unleash Inspiration, Meaning, and Joy by John O'Leary

Creating a Life That Matters: How to Live and Love with Meaning and Purpose by Manis Friedman & Rivka Goldstein 

Fiction

Babel by R. F. Kuang

The Last Bookshop in London by Madeline Martin

A Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne (narrated by Tim Curry)

In/Spectre #2

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (in progress)

The Poisoner's Handbook ed. Raymond T. Bond

[book-zap]

7 Best Books to Improve Your Mental Health and Well-Being

Maintaining mental health is a key aspect of overall well-being. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, seeking self-compassion, or looking for practical techniques to improve your mood, these seven books offer valuable insights and strategies for enhancing your mental health and well-being.

1. "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin

The Happiness Project follows Gretchen Rubin’s year-long journey to increase her happiness by focusing on small, daily actions. Rubin explores how intentional changes in habits and mindset can lead to a more fulfilling life. Her approach is practical and accessible, offering readers a roadmap to increase joy in their own lives.

Key takeaway: Focusing on small, actionable habits can greatly improve happiness and well-being.

2. "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk

Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score explores the connection between trauma and the body. Van der Kolk explains how traumatic experiences can manifest physically and emotionally, and offers strategies for healing through both traditional and alternative therapies.

Key takeaway: Understanding the relationship between trauma and the body is essential for long-term healing and recovery.

3. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach

In Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach blends Western psychology with Buddhist teachings to encourage self-compassion and emotional healing. Brach teaches readers how accepting themselves fully—flaws and all—can lead to inner peace and emotional well-being.

Key takeaway: Accepting yourself unconditionally helps cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace and emotional resilience.

4. "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns

Feeling Good is a classic in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) literature, offering proven techniques to combat negative thinking and improve mood. David D. Burns provides practical exercises to help change self-defeating thoughts and increase emotional well-being.

Key takeaway: Cognitive-behavioral techniques can dramatically improve mood and reduce negative thinking.

5. "The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself" by Michael A. Singer

The Untethered Soul takes readers on a journey of self-exploration, offering insights into how to quiet the mind and let go of the negative thoughts that cause stress and anxiety. Michael A. Singer provides a spiritual and philosophical guide to finding inner freedom and peace.

Key takeaway: Letting go of limiting thoughts and emotions leads to greater inner peace and emotional freedom.

6. "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression" by Johann Hari

In Lost Connections, Johann Hari explores the societal and environmental causes of depression. Hari argues that disconnection in various forms—social, emotional, and spiritual—plays a significant role in mental health issues. He presents alternative ways to heal by reconnecting with others and finding purpose.

Key takeaway: Strengthening connections and finding meaning in life can improve mental health and combat depression.

7. "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff

Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion offers a powerful alternative to the self-criticism that often accompanies mental health struggles. Neff argues that treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you offer others can lead to greater emotional resilience and well-being.

Key takeaway: Practicing self-compassion helps reduce stress and improves overall mental health.

Conclusion

These seven books offer a variety of approaches to improving mental health and well-being, from mindfulness and self-compassion to cognitive-behavioral techniques and trauma healing. Each of these books provides valuable tools for managing stress, anxiety, depression, and emotional challenges.

[digitalmarketing0000]

ebooks

Discover a wealth of knowledge on alternative health practices with Onyxe Alpina, a renowned author from Switzerland. Specializing in natural treatments and recipes, Onyxe's ebooks are available in three languages, including English. Explore the world of holistic wellness and unlock the secrets to a healthier lifestyle with Onyxe Alpina's insightful and informative ebooks . 

Looking for ebooks on natural treatments? There are many great resources available that cover various aspects of natural and holistic approaches to health and wellness. Here are some topics and types of ebooks you might find useful:

1. **Herbal Medicine**: Books that explore the use of herbs for treating various conditions. Look for titles like *"The Herbal Medicine-Maker's Handbook"* by James Green or *"The Green Pharmacy"* by James A. Duke.

2. **Essential Oils**: Ebooks that delve into the use of essential oils for health and wellness. Consider *"The Complete Guide to Aromatherapy"* by Salvatore Battaglia or *"Essential Oils for Beginners"* by Althea Press.

3. **Nutrition and Diet**: Books that focus on natural dietary approaches to improve health. Titles like *"The Whole30"* by Melissa Hartwig Urban and Dallas Hartwig or *"How Not to Die"* by Michael Greger could be useful.

4. **Home Remedies**: Guides on natural remedies for common ailments. Look for books like *"The Doctor's Book of Home Remedies"* by the editors of Prevention or *"The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder"* by Stephanie Marohn.

5. **Mind-Body Connection**: Ebooks on natural treatments that integrate mental and physical health. *"The Mind-Gut Connection"* by Emeran Mayer and *"The Body Keeps the Score"* by Bessel van der Kolk are good examples.

6. **Detox and Cleansing**: Books on natural ways to detoxify the body. *"The Detox Miracle Surcebook"* by Robert Morse or *"The Clean 20"* by Ian K. Smith might be interesting.

7. **Traditional Practices**: Books on traditional medicine practices like Ayurveda or Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). *"The Ayurveda Encyclopedia"* by Swami Sada Shiva Tirtha or *"The Web That Has No Weaver"* by Ted J. Kaptchuk are good options. You can find these ebooks on platforms like Amazon Kindle, Google Books, or dedicated ebook stores. Additionally, some of these books might be available through your local library's digital lending service.ebooks

[doyouknowthisbook-poll]

welcome to do you know this book poll!

how this works:

I post polls with excerpts from books—occasionally I post excerpts from novellas and short stories. Polls run for one week, so results are posted eight days after the original post date. Part of the fun is guessing/trying to figure out which book the excerpt is from, with some excerpts being more obvious than others. Feel free to leave suggestions for books you want to see posted (or suggestions for the blog in general) in the replies of this post 😊📚

I am one person running this blog so please be patient and kind. I currently post 1-3 polls per week.

submissions are now open, submit a book here!

current voting options:

A) I’ve read this book before, and I like it!

B) I can tell which book this is from based on this excerpt, but I haven't read it

C) I started reading this, but didn’t finish it (or I am reading it currently)

D) I haven’t read this book, but I like this excerpt!

E) I’ve read this book before, and I don’t like it

F) I haven’t read this book and I don’t like this excerpt

tags:

open polls you can still vote on: tagged/open

closed polls/revealed: tagged/results

all of this blog’s polls: tagged/poll time

fiction polls only: tagged/fiction

nonfiction polls only: tagged/nonfiction

all polls (includes polls from other blogs): tagged/poll

all posts that are not a poll: tagged/not a poll

resources to free reading, libraries, and posts about libraries: tagged/library

additional tags not listed here include names of titles and their authors.

a list of all excerpts that have been posted and revealed:

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

Six of Crows (part of the Six of Crows duology and the Grishaverse) by Leigh Bardugo

Beloved by Toni Morrison

“The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

My Immortal fanfiction — this was posted for April Fool’s Day

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel von der Kolk

Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez

Silver in the Wood (part of The Greenhollow Duology) by Emily Tesh

Hang the Moon by Jeannette Walls

Holes by Louis Sachar

1984 by George Orwell

Life of Pi by Yann Martel

“I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream” by Harlan Ellison

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy

The Giver by Lois Lowry

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan

“The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

All Systems Red (part of The Murderbot Diaries) by Martha Wells

The Music of What Happens by Bill Konigsburg

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Aces Wild by Amanda DeWitt

Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride

Geisha: A Life by Mineko Iwasaki (the results also discuss Memoirs of A Geisha by Arthur Golden)

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher

The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelho

Mistborn: The Final Empire (part of the Mistborn trilogy and universe) by Brandon Sanderson

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Eve by Cat Bohannon

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

[lesser-known-composers]

Carlos Guastavino - Sonata No. 1 para guitarra: I. Allegro deciso e molto rítmico

Performed by Michael Kolk

Guitar by Roberto de Miranda

[sociomedicalpsychedelia]

Academic Article Citations

Beswerchij, Andrew and Dominic Sisti. 2022. “From Underground to Mainstream: Establishing a Medical Lexicon for Psychedelic Therapy.” Frontiers in Psychiatry 13.

Dyck, Erika and Chris Elcock. 2020. “Reframing Bummer Trips: Scientific and Cultural Explanations to Adverse Reactions to Psychedelic Drug Use.” The Social History of Alcohol and Drugs 34(2):271–96.

Exline, Julie J., William A. Schutt, Kathleen C. Pait, and Joshua A. Wilt. 2022. “Do Psychedelic Trips Open the Door to Messages from God, Spirits, Transcendent Realities, or the Devil? Links with Attitudes about Psychedelics, Opinions about Legalization, and Interest in Personal Use.” The International Journal for the Psychology of Religion 1–19.

Gardner, John, Adrian Carter, Kerry O’Brien, and Kate Seear. 2019. “Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies: The Past, and the Need to Move Forward Responsibly.” International Journal of Drug Policy 70:94–98.

Mitchell, Jennifer M., Michael Bogenschutz, Lilienstein Alia, Charlotte Harrison, Sarah Kleiman, Kelly Parker-Guilbert, G. M. Ot’alora, Garas Wael, Paleos Casey, Ingmar Gorman, Christopher Nicholas, Michael Mithoefer, Shannon Carlin, Bruce Poulter, Mithoefer Ann, Quevedo Sylvestre, Gregory Wells, S. Klaire Sukhpreet, Kolk B. van der, Tzarfaty Keren, Amiaz Revital, Ray Worthy, Shannon Scott, Joshua D. Woolley, Marta Cole, Gelfand Yevgeniy, Emma Hapke, Simon Amar, Wallach Yair, Randall Brown, Scott Hamilton, Julie B. Wang, Allison Coker, Rebecca Matthews, Boer A. de, Yazar-Klosinski Berra, Amy Emerson and Rick Doblin. 2021. "MDMA-Assisted Therapy for Severe PTSD: A Randomized, Double-Blind, Placebo-Controlled Phase 3 Study." Nature Medicine 27(6):1025-1033.

Smith, William R. and Paul S. Appelbaum. 2021. “Two Models of Legalization of Psychedelic Substances.” JAMA 326(8):697–98.

Williams, Keith, Osiris Sinuhé Romero, Michelle Braunstein, and Suzanne Brant. 2022. “Indigenous Philosophies and the ‘Psychedelic Renaissance.’” Anthropology of Consciousness 33(2):506–27.

[tenth-sentence]

Over the next three years Michael emerged from his habitual low profile to challenge the group with his insights and opinions, and he became one of the most valuable contributors to our neurofeedback program.

"The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma" - Bessel van der Kolk

[maaarine]

Bibliography: books posted on this blog in 2022

Anne APPLEBAUM (2012): Iron Curtain: The Crushing of Eastern Europe 1944-56

Philip BALL (2022): The Book of Minds: How to Understand Ourselves and Other Beings, from Animals to AI to Aliens

Lundy BANCROFT (2002): Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Moshe BARR (2022): Mindwandering

Ernest BECKER (1962): The Birth and Death of Meaning

Emmanuel CARRÈRE (2020): Yoga

Deepak CHOPRA and Rudolph TANZI (2018): The Healing Self

Elinor CLEGHORN (2021): Unwell Women: A Journey Through Medicine And Myth in a Man-Made World

Antonio DAMASIO (2021): Feeling & Knowing: Making Minds Conscious

Frans DE WAAL (2022): Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist

Thomas S. DUVAL and Paul J. SILVIA (2001): Self-Awareness & Causal Attribution: A Dual Systems Theory

Andrea DWORKIN (1981): Pornography: Men Possessing Women

Elena FERRANTE (2014): Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay: Neapolitan Novels, Book Three

Marilyn FRYE (1983): Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory

Masha GESSEN (2020): Surviving Autocracy

Gerd GIGERENZER (2007): Gut Feelings: The Intelligence of the Unconscious

Carol GILLIGAN and Naomi SNIDER (2018): Why Does Patriarchy Persist?

Valerie HARDCASTLE (1999): The Myth of Pain

Walter ISAACSON (2017): Leonardo da Vinci: The Biography

Hans KELSEN (1991): General Theory of Norms

Alan KENDLE (2017): Aphantasia: Experiences, Perceptions, and Insights

Ian KERSHAW (2008): Hitler

Dan KINDLON and Michael THOMPSON (2000): Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

Gerhard KREUCH (2019): Self-Feeling: Can Self-Consciousness be Understood as a Feeling?

Todd LEKAN (2022): William James and the Moral Life

Jeremy LENT (2022): The Web of Meaning: Integrating Science and Traditional Wisdom to Find Our Place in the Universe

Robert Alan LEVINE (1982): Culture, Behavior, and Personality: An Introduction to the Comparative Study of Psychosocial Adaptation

Darcy LOCKMAN (2019): All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

John LUCKOVICH (2021): The Instinctual Drives and The Enneagram

Heidi MAIBAUM (2020): Empathy

Kate MANNE (2017): Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny

Gabor MATE (2022): The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Richard J. MCNALLY (2012): What Is Mental Illness?

C. Thi NGUYEN (2020): Games: Agency As Art

Paula M NIEDENTHAL, François RIC (2017): Psychology of Emotion

Camilla PANG (2020): Explaining Humans: What Science Can Teach Us about Life, Love and Relationships

L.A. PAUL (2014): Transformative Experience

Lucile QUILLET (2021): Le prix à payer: Ce que le couple hétéro coûte aux femmes

William M. REDDY (2001): The Navigation of Feeling: A Framework for the History of Emotions

John RUSCIO, Barry BEYERSTEIN, Steven J. LYNN, Scott LILIENFIELD (2009): 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology

David SHAPIRO (1981): Autonomy and Rigid Character

David SHAPIRO (1999): Dynamics of character: Self-regulation in psychopathology

David SHAPIRO (2017): A psychodynamic view of action and responsibility

Julia SIMNER (2019): Synaesthesia: A Very Short Introduction

Timothy SNYDER (2018): The Road to Unfreedom

Timothy SNYDER (2015): Black Earth: The Holocaust as History and Warning

Timothy SNYDER (2010): Bloodlands: Europe between Hitler and Stalin

Tim SPECTOR (2012): Identically Different: Why You Can Change Your Genes

Jason STANLEY (2018): How Fascism Works

Seth STEPHENS-DAVIDOWITZ (2022): Don't Trust Your Gut: Using Data to Get What You Really Want in Life

Michael TOMASELLO (1999): The Cultural Origins of Human Cognition

Michael TOMASELLO (2014): A Natural History of Human Thinking

Bessel VAN DER KOLK (2014): The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma

Mathilde VIOT (2022): L’homme politique, moi j’en fais du compost

Haider WARRAICH (2022): The Song of Our Scars: The Untold Story of Pain

Geoffrey WEST (2017): Scale: The Universal Laws of Growth, Innovation, Sustainability, and the Pace of Life in Organisms, Cities, Economies, and Companies

Drew WESTEN (1985): Self and Society: Narcissism, Collectivism, and the Development of Morals

See also: bibliography of previous years

[thejusticewarrior]

The Book Club - Non-Fiction

The Non-Fiction Book Club TBR list:

100 Nasty Women of History by Hannah Jewell

101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin

21 Lessons For The 21st Century by Yuval Noah Haran

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Y. Davis

Atlantis: The Antediluvian World by Ignatius L. Donnelly

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Between The World And Me by Ta-Neisi Coates

Beyond The Pill by Jolene Brighten

Boundaries In Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Calm The F**k Down by Sarah Knight

Caste: The Origins Of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Confessions Of A Political Hitman by Stephen Marks

Confessions Of A Sex Kitten by Eartha Kitt

Declutter Your Mind by S.J. Scott & Barrie Davenport

Decoded by Jay-Z

Devil In The Grove by Gilbert King

Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh

Feminists Don't Wear Pink And Other Lies by Scarlett Curtis

first, we make the beast beautiful by Sarah Wilson

Girl, was your face by Rachel Hollis

Heal Thyself For Health And Longevity by Queen Afua

Homo Deus: A Brief History Of Tomorrow by Yuval Noah Haran

Hormonal by Martie Haselton

Hormonal by Eleanor Morgan

How The Pill Changes Everything by Sarah E. Hill

How To Be Single And Happy by Jennifer L. Taitz

How To Love by Thich Nhat Hanh

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Lies My Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen

Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Maybe It's You by Lauren Handel Zander

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray

Milk And Honey by Rupi Kaur

Misjustice: How British Law Is Failing Women by Helena Kennedy

Moody: A 21st Century Hormone Guide by Amy Thomson

Natives: Race And Class In The Ruins Of Empire by Akala

Nile Valley Contributions To Civilization by Anthony T. Browder

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown

Red Notice by Bill Browder

Sacred Woman by Queen Afua

Sapiens: A Brief History Of Humankind by Yuval Noah Haran

Stolen Legacy by George G. M. James

Sweetening The Pill by Holly Grigg-Spall

The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Art Of Happiness by The Dalai Llama

The Art Of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh

The Autobiography Of Malcolm X by Malcolm X

The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

The Chimp Paradox by Prof. Steve Peters

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

The Gifts Of Imperfection by Brené Brown

The Little Book Of Hygge by Meik Wiking

The Many-Headed Hydra by Peter Linebaugh & Marcus Rediker

The Miracle Of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander

The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

The Silk Roads by Peter Frankopan

The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert

The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton

The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler

The Warmth Of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

Thinking, Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman

This Is Going To Hurt by Adam Kay

Vilnius: City Of Strangers by Laimonas Briedis

When We Ruled by Robin Walker

White Tears/Brown Scars by Ruby Hamad

Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge

Womancode by Alisa Vitti

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Women, Race And Class by Angela Y. Davis

A Massacre In Mexico by Anabel Hernandez

Putin's People by Catherine Belton

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson

The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

The Good Immigrant by Nikesh Shukla et al.

When They Call You A Terrorist by Patrisse Khan-Cullon & Asha Bandele

It's Not About The Burqa by Mariam Khan

Afropean: Notes From Black Europe by Johny Pitts

Blueprint For Revolution by Srdja Popovic

Freedom Is A Constant Struggle by Angela Y. Davis

White Fragility by Robin Diangelo

The Health Gap by Michael Marmot

Fake Law: The Truth Abiut Justice In An Age Of Lies by The Secret Barrister

The Secret Barrister by The Secret Barrister

I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai

No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference by Greta Thunberg

Our Final Warning: Six Degrees Of Climate Emergency by Mark Lynas

Underground by Haruki Murakami

The Jigsaw Man by Paul Britton

This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate by Naomi Klein

Justice, Justice Thou Shalt Pursue by Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Bad Pharma by Ben Goldacre

Pharma by Gerald Posner

The Truth About The Drug Companies by Marcia Angell, M.D.

Selling Sickness by Ray Moynihan & Alan Cassels

Blood Feud by Kathleen Sharp

The Future We Choose by Christiana Gigueres & Tom Rivett Carnac

There Is No Planet B by Mike Berners-Lee

Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez

Society Must Be Defended by Michel Foucault

Discipline And Punish by Michel Foucault

Chernobyl Prayer by Svetlana Alexievich

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Anne Frank: The Diary Of A Young Girl by Anne Frank

If They Come In The Morning by Angela Y. Davis

Tiny, Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

The House of Government by Yuri Slezkine

The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride

[livelaughloveandfuckme]

*Trigger Warning*: Domestic Violence & Childhood Abuse- Therapeutic Writing Exercise

I have been doing a lot of work on my Complex PTSD workbook. All of the literature that I read supports that writing about traumatic memories is beneficial in healing for the trauma survivor. While working on this workbook for the past week or so, I have been flooded with a few traumatic memories from the domestic violence I was exposed to through my biological father. I am choosing to write about those this week in an effort to release them.

But first, more about this amazing workbook. The trauma workbook I use is by Dr. Arielle Schwartz and I highly recommend it to anyone working through trauma either in addition to trauma-focused therapy or to use as a self-help book. It was recommended to me by an amazing L.M.H.C. that I had for couples therapy long before my diagnosis of PTSD; she recognized a lot of the symptoms in me and recommended this book and the body keeps the score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. The book teaches coping skills to manage trauma and techniques for managing the overwhelm of emotions when one is releasing trauma. It has short chapters with case study-like scenarios, as well as journaling prompts, to guide you through the exercises. I have taken several of the prompts from this workbook into my therapy sessions and they have served as a great tool to guide my sessions so I can continue to build and heal from the traumas I have lived through.

Now, as to not let my avoidance symptoms get the better of me, let's talk about the traumatic memories that resurfaced while I was working on this workbook. There was one time when I was younger, that my dad had his girlfriend and her three children over the house. It was supposed to be just a regular night of us hanging out at home. I suspect that he had been drinking. I was approximately somewhere between 7-9 years old (the amnesia related to my C-PTSD makes it very challenging for me to remember my age during a lot of these traumatic events and it also impacts my ability to form a coherent narrative-- I am still working through this so bare with me as I recall the details). I had been sent to my room for punishment for something. I do not recall what that punishment was for. The next thing I remember was my Dad coming into my room in a confrontation-like manner. I said something back to him, no doubt something smart-assy because it triggered him. The next thing I remember he lunged at me. He grabbed me by the throat with both hands and started to shake me as he continued to walk forward while choking me. I couldn't breathe well. I didn't fight it, I went completely frozen.

As he continued to choke me and shake me, he backed me up against the closet doors in my room. I hit my head against the closet doors. Once my back hit the mirrors of the closet doors, he choked me harder while he was screaming at me. He lifted me off the ground while he choked the life out of me. I remember at this point smelling alcohol on his breath. I started to get dizzy, and my hands reached up to his wrists to try and break his grasp, but I was not strong enough. I don't remember what he was screaming at me or why for that matter, but I remember how red his face was, his eyes were bloodshot and tremoring from side to side (I now know this as nystagmus since I am a nurse, which is a sign of heavy alcohol intoxication) and the veins in his forehead were bulging as he screamed, choked me and shook me.

The next thing that I remember, as my tippy toes were dangling, barely touching the floor, was that Carol, his girlfriend at the time, came running into the room and screamed: "MICHAEL! STOP!". He immediately put me down. I felt a rush come back to my head and the dizziness subsided quickly, but I had floaters and fuzzy vision for a few moments as I regained my wits about me. He left the room and I cried a lot that night. I was able to overhear Carol and my Dad talking in the other room, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

Carol didn't last long. She and my Dad ultimately ended up breaking up and were only together for a short period of time. I liked her a lot, and we actually stayed in touch long after my Dad and her split. Carol made it a point to stay in touch with my mom, and once I had facebook, her 3 daughters and I connected on facebook. Two of her oldest girls are married now, one with children of her own. Her youngest is in a long-term relationship with a nice young man that I went to high school with. Carol is since remarried and happy as ever, and I love that for her. Carol was there for my sister and me when my Dad wasn't. He worked a lot, and when he wasn't working, he was having meetings with clients or he was out lord knows where drinking. Carol was a hairdresser and make-up artist and she worked in the salon at Ulta. Being that she had 3 girls of her own, she was no stranger to the things that little girls loved, whereas my Dad was totally clueless. She used to cut and style our hair for us, do our make up, and paint our nails whenever my Dad would take us to visit her at work. She would let us pick out a different nail polish color every time we went to the Salon to see her, and she would tell us which were the most popular colors that all the other girls at school would be wearing.

I could tell, even as a young child, that Carol just wanted us to feel safe and loved. I often wonder what would have happened to me if she never came into the room that night, and how badly would my Dad have seriously hurt me if she didn't walk in on that. I think Carol was smart enough to befriend my mom, in the interest of being a good "step-parent figure" and that my mother must have given her some kind of warning that she didn't stick around long, but I am glad because no one should have been subjected to my Dad's alcoholic stupor and abuse. Especially not as good of a person as sweet Carol. I often wonder if my Dad ever raised a hand to her, and maybe that's why she left so suddenly. All I know is I am glad she resurfaced outside of life with my Dad, cause a piece of me always felt safe knowing she too witnessed the monster he was capable of being.

[hompunkulus]

Hom^Punk^Ulus Reading List

Left-Hand Path and Satanology:

The Satanic Bible, Anton Szandor LaVey

The Devil’s Notebook, Anton Szandor LaVey

Rebels and Devils, Christopher S. Hyatt (editor)

Raising Hell, Robert Masello

Spiritual Satanists Prayer Book, Venus Satanas

Chaos and Eclectic Magic:

Liber Null & Psychonaut, Peter J. Carroll

Book of Lies, Richard Metzger (editor)

Kaos Hieroglyphica, Anton Channing

The Chaonomicon, Jaq D. Hawkins

Chaos and Sorcery, Nicholas Hall

Nocturnal Witchcraft, Konstantinos

Vampyrism:

Vampires: In Their Own Words, Michelle Belanger (edtor)

Psychic Vampire Codex, Michelle Belanger

Vampires: The Occult Truth, Konstantinos

Akhkharu, Michael W. Ford

Sekhem-Apep, Michael W. Ford

Vampire Nation, Arlene Russo

Psychology and the Brain:

On Combat, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman with Loren W. Christensen

Buddha’s Brain, Rick Hansen, Ph. D with Richard Mendeus, M.D.

The Mind and the Brain, Jeffery M. Schwartz, M.D. and Sharon Begley

The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van der Kolk

Incognito, David Eagleman

Martial Arts and Fitness:

Karate-Do: My Way of Life, Gitchen Funakoshi

Bubishi: The Bible of Karate, Patrick McCarthy (translator)

The Art of Peace, Morihei Ueshiba

Tooth From a Tiger’s Mouth, Tom Bisio

The Naked Warrior, Pavel

My Old Time Strongman Training, Robert Spindler

Ultimate Warrior Workouts, Martin Rooney

Miscellaneous:

The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

Werewolves: The Occult Truth, Konstantinos

Dark Archives, Megan Rosenbloom

The Butchering Art, Lindsey Fitzharris

Dhammapada, favorite translator

The Science of Mind, Ernest Holmes

Fiction, Myths, and Folklore:

Monkey: Journey to the West, favorite translator

Tales of the Taoist Immortals, Eva Wong

Myths and Legends of the Martial Arts, Peter Lewis

Carmilla, Sheridan Le Fanu

The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton

Necronomicon: The Best Weird Tales of H.P. Lovecraft

[digitalmarketing0000]

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