#Men vs Women Relationships

[alphanyawa]

💔 Who’s out here breaking hearts? 💔

Who Causes More Heartbreak: Men or Women? Heartbreak is universal, but who causes it more often—men or women? Before diving into the data, think about this: What shapes your perspective—personal experience, societal narratives, or stereotypes? Let’s unpack this complex topic together. Poll Results: The Numbers In a recent poll, I asked: Who causes more heartbreak, men or women? The results were…

[isawthismeme]

[tls12lessthan3]

i love when orv calls kim dokja a homo in a derogatory fashion. makes my day really

[howtomakeyousee]

[madeofjules]

Jackson is such an underrated character. I know Katniss has no emotional attachment to her so fans don't care for her, but she is (as far as I can remember) the ONLY adult in power who prioritizes Katniss and Peeta's safety and doesn't use, sacrifice, or endanger them if she can help it. She:

Tries to stop Katniss from going on the stupid and irresponsible military mission that's going to get them all killed

Has sympathy for Peeta after what the Capitol did to him and comes up with the real or not real game to help him recover

Refuses to leave Peeta behind when he asks them to

Refuses to leave Katniss when she suggests they split up because the lizard mutts are only after her

Sacrifices herself to fend off the mutts while the others escape

She may not be the most exciting or prevalent character, but she deserves love for being one of the only adults who actually treats Katniss and Peeta like teenagers.

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[sportsandlaughs]

[compacflt]

Okay, so I was re-reading your Slider one-shot for like the twentieth time, and what really struck me (beyond the brilliance of your writing, and the way you’ve presented the disillusionment of growing up, expecting the world to be a certain way, only to realize that life doesn’t quite work out the way you think it will, when you’re seventeen), is the casual sexism just tossed ‘round by our main characters!! :o We have canonical evidence of both Ice and Mav being pretty sexist (what with “the plaque for the alternates is in the ladies’ room” and the downright stalker-ish behavior exhibited by Mav at the O-club…), but it still surprised me a lil’ when twenty-y/o Ice was just like: “The Soviet Union did the impossible and taught women to drive” —and I realized that ah, he truly was born in 1959, or something. There’s little scenes throughout your story where I find myself wondering, which one of them is better, in this sense: When Ice tells Mav that Sarah isn’t talking to him ‘cause of his combat kills, justifies it by saying: “You know how women are”, and Mav tells him all women aren’t the same… I thought that maybe, it was Mav; but then later, Ice shows a distinctive amount of empathy for Juno, sees and respects her for the skilled pilot that she is… and I thought that maybe, it’s Ice after all—he does seem to be more progressive and accepting than Mav, in general? It also made me wonder, that if either of them had been a woman, would they even have respected the other person enough to consider them to be a rival??—or would it have a been a mildly-amusing circus side show for them, to have a female pilot at TOPGUN?

Ty for the ask anon!! ice is more socially progressive than mav yes.

But—maybe this is my experience growing up in one of the bluest counties in Commiefornia and then going to one of the most leftist-coded colleges in one of the most leftist-coded cities in The World; uhh, even if a white man votes D all the time & has professional respect for women/minorities to their faces etc, get him in a room with a bunch of other white men, especially in a masculine and competitive environment like the gym or the navy, and uh. progressive or not, what you get is a lot of “The Soviet Union did the impossible & taught women to drive.”

And it was the 1980s. (As a reminder, in top gun’s 1986, less than 45% of Americans even approved of interracial marriage.) It sucks to say it, but if Ice was making fun of Cougar for quitting the navy cause of his psych issues such as they may be, and openly calling bullshit on Maverick’s MiG story in front of everyone, I am quite confident in saying he Would Not respect a female pilot to her face—if they were the same rank. At the same rank, it’s a competition. All weaknesses, even perceived biological ones, are to be exploited and called to attention. —But, once he’s advanced in rank, proven his own superiority, he’s more inclined to favor a meritocratic “sex doesn’t matter just fly good” attitude, ergo his relationship w/ “Juno” (she’s just a literary symbol to show that Ice may have respect for other minorities in the Navy “your career speaks for itself” but NOT FOR HIMSELF as a closeted man). This “who cares about gender/race just fly good” attitude is probably where 50s+ Maverick lands too, which is why no issues with Phoenix.

but jesus GOD maverick is a sexist in the original Top Gun. That’s why I wrote the prologue to WWGATTAI—a part of me definitely believes both he and Ice are definitively queer, but a part of me also wonders, are they just also conditioned to dismiss women as intellectual/societal equals because of their time in the 1980s male-dominated Navy? CAN they really only have a truly equal relationship with another man? I have no idea what my Ice’s sexual orientation is for exactly this reason. Yes, he’s functionally gay by the end of it, and that’s what I keep calling him—but sexuality is fluid & complicated. It’s definitely more-than possible he’s mostly straight and it’s just the circumstances of his wildly intense trauma-bond relationship with Maverick that led to their relationship as I wrote it. If you don’t LIKE/understand/respect women, and only feel at home/excited by committing acts of male-typified violence with the few men you respect, how does that bend your definition of the word straight? ...its still straight, but only straight-ish!

not to take it a step further, but WHY ELSE is canon maverick single in TGM? he canonically can’t make it work with women until he retires from the navy!!! he doesnt know how!!! His military environment is not conducive to normal long-term relationships with civilian women!!!

[featherymainffins]

Watch True Detective season 1 for slow burn old men yaoi.

[valeriesolanasapologist]

[isawthismeme]

[tariah23]

He apparently has 2 kids with 2 different women and doesn't take care of either of them

Women, I will protect you-

[void-thegod]

As a transgender man

I have learned that there are MANY women who like assholes

Just like there are dudes who like stupid/crazy bitches

It takes all types.

And so of course: people mismatch

An actually good guy will end up with a bad girl over and over

Or vice versa

And slowly but surely his/her bad experiences

Will affect them negatively.

This happens to all of us in this world.

We acquire pain and trauma and bad habits

And we can fight and overcome them

And many of us only know struggle - for ourselves, our ideals, our lives.

And almost all we experienced is a giant "fuck you"

How long do we remain "good"? How long til we become the monsters we hate?

Of course.. I have been told by elders, by people who know better to stay true. Be good. Maybe you'll always be alone

at least you'll be good.

Loneliness kills. And if being "you" and being "good" doesn't get you anything but hurt or taken advantage of?

Withdraw.

Change.

Maybe stay the course.

Of course. For some reason even though people can relate to such sentiments.. if a man is saying it..

He must actually be a bad dude who is a douchebag. He must automatically be manipulative for pussy

I've had women tell me they think I was lying about being trans! To get laid!

As if that would ever work!!!

This is the type of world we live in.

[its-all-down-hill]

Ladies it works both ways. Ask most men and they will tell you that they find these same things attractive…

[chaosandstardust]

One thing I really dislike about the question "Can (straight) men and (straight) women be friends?" is that it's usually approached from the perspective of romance. There is always the assumption that there will be a romantic relationship between these two people if they become too emotionally attached. However I find this to be a very hetero-centric view of relationships, and I would like to pose a question: can men and women be friends, not in terms of romance, but in terms of FRIENDSHIP?

I say this because recently I was hurt quite deeply by a male friend of mine. I won't get into the crux of the issues, because it's really not relevant. But I'd like to forgive him. I'd like to move on. However, he's not really providing any of the emotional support or reassurance that I need to move past it. His solution seems to be "Let's give it more time" when really, that's actually not fixing it. All that ends up happening is that I stew more and get even angrier. He hasn't done anything to actually make up for the problem. He told me that he couldn't reassure me that it won't happen again (which, well, THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF HIM? WHAT IS THE POINT OF CONTINUING THEN?).

He basically threw our entire friendship out of balance, and I feel very exposed and vulnerable around him right now. I feel like I'm constantly in danger. Now, for full transparency, I have this feeling around a lot of people anyway because as an abuse victim, I often have a little voice in my head going "They're going to hurt you!" but since this has happened, I now have very real proof that he could hurt me that I can point to. And he hasn't actually done anything to reassure me or even meet me on the level that I am at. He doesn't seem to want to do any work to help get me through this.

And I think in his mind it's because I'm not his girlfriend. He would be making more of an effort if I was his girlfriend. And that's where I think this disconnect lies. I admittedly haven't been hurt this way by any of my female friends in my life, but I have had issues with some of them. And in periods where they actually wanted to fix the relationship, they actually talked to me and things changed between us, whether it was through changed behavior, an apology, or a gesture.

Each time, they've done a hell of a lot more than just "idk, man, let's take some time off". Because men and women just have different expectations on how to fix problems in friendships. I want to get to the root of what happened. He just wants to take some time off and doesn't want to reflect on his actions and do better. and THAT'S why (straight) men and (straight) women can't be friends.

write a When Harry Met Sally movie about THAT.

[sportsandlaughs]