#Meeting the Ex

[beaft]

i'm genuinely having so much fun writing a jock protagonist. can't believe i never tried this before. all these years i've been limiting myself needlessly

[yutamayo]

Get car seats for my kids first.

[respectissexy]

Sam Nightingale texting The Seven groupchat going "ZELDA Gorgug just posted his new girlfriend and she is a short, awkward barbarian in a hoodie, what a loser, he's obviously still obsessed with you" and Zelda going "Sam chill the fuck out Gorgug and I are cool it's fine"

[guchaigue]

“Hey I’m an L2”

[woman-respecter]

men jerking off to videos simulating rape or at least violence featuring real women often facing actual pain and abuse is not the same as fanfic girlies reading about sasuke being exposed to sex pollen. be fucking serious.

also you basically never hear of someone injuring her partner during sex because she read destiel bdsm omegaverse, but men will demand their partners try extreme shit they saw in porn, sometimes with severe consequences.

[darlingboydiaz]

we all said eddie baby-trapped buck when he wrote him into his will. i actually raise you: buck parent-trapped eddie right after eddie's abuela ended up in hospital in 2x04 when pepa told him that raising a kid alone is rough. buck saw that hot single dad and immediately said he's gonna be second dad.

[snow-body]

to heaven.

[aprilblossomgirl]

Let’s go then. Where again? Add my stuff into your room.

ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat | Ep.09

[creechoor]

goodbye hug before going to save the world

[diohvoik]

I did this to draw Roxanne.

[blueflipflops]

Baby Switcharoo

Here's another short dpxdc prompt

"Daddy!" Dick instictively caught the kid before she kissed the floor despite knowing she can fly and-- wait a damned minute. That is not Mar'i.

Meanwhile...

"Papa!" Danny smiled as he braced himself for the flying missile of a child that raced to him. He swirled them around when he caught her making her giggle as her legs swing. Hold the fuck up-- This is not Ellie.

[riseandfallofsecunit]

Secunit fully not noticing Tarik & Ratthi’s relationship until it’s ended </3

(for @bookgrotto )

[fonthoura]

Finished ds9 last night, so, my life is officially over and meaningless, there is a hole in my soul that I will try desperately to fill with Siddig reading fanfic on camera. Hope it goes well, will keep you guys posted.

Also: if anyone want to recommend DS9 books, feel free

[strewwwberry]

Cumplane exes is magical

I’ll explain with examples

Cucumber: “why would you create so many fucking aphrodisiacs?? Are you that desperate to get laid??”

Airplane: “well it worked didn’t it”

Cucumber: “Wtf?? No it didn’t- …”

Airplane: 🤨🤨

Cucumber: “…”

Cucumber initiates attack

Airplane attempts dodge!

Dodge fails, airplane dies

Went a lil off track but no matter here’s some more

Cucumber: “you know I don’t know why you like mobei jun so much? I mean I can get the appeal but like Binghe is right there”

Airplane: “you know binghe is my self insert and I may or may not have inspired mobei jun off of your personality”

Cucumber: “like I get it but- what.”

Airplane: “what?”

Cucumber: “backtrack- what”

Airplane: “I said what I said, there’s a reason Binghe is so great at sex”

Cucumber: “…”

Cucumber: “you’re not thattt good-“

Airplane: 🤨

Cucumber: “…”

Cucumber: “fuck off”

End.

I hope you enjoyed my Ted talk

[cringefail-clown]

jakehal coffee shop college au, where hal works part time as a barista and jake is his twin brothers ex-boyfriend thats also a regular in said coffee shop. they fucking hate each other.

[evilminji]

You know what? I just had A Thought(tm)~☆

Danny. Our bby boy. MINDING HIS BUSINESS. Maybe visiting one of his buddies in the Realms after he graduates. When he just?? Get full on tackled from the sky.

And like?

Huh.

THIS hasn't happened in a bit. Not since he's become king. Legit, no one dares. He's honestly kinda missed it. Alright, square up... Mr. Uuuuuh.... Who are you?

And it's this barely formed New Ghost. Still in that glitch-y goopy blob phase and everything. Is Baby. Why... why does this infant Want To Fight God? I mean. He Respects It(tm), no lie, but? Not exactly usual for him?

And it turns out? This dude is some rando hero. He basicly JUST died. By all rights SHOULD be resting and gathering his strength to Form Right. But he's so worried for his team mates and everyone else he CAN'T. Recognized a fellow Hero's Costume even at a distance.

Please. PLEASE! You have to help him! We have to WARN everybody!

And Danny is just? Oh no. This Actual Infant Baby is gonna Anxiety himself to Actual Second Death at this rate. Yes! Sure! Just CALM DOWN! Anything you need buddy! BREATHE.

And this dude? Who died? Is legit a minor player who got WAY too deep but refused to abandoned People In Need(tm). It happens. It HURTS. But he saved a LOT of lives before he went down. Him and his team were just some Minor Heros from Belarus. How they ended up in deep space? Even THEY couldn't tell you.

They couldn't even bring him home.

He forgives them.

He could NEVER blame his friends. Not for this. The planet is in danger. Some... some THING. An invasion. The League has to be made aware. He DIED helping a planet try to evacuate all that they could. He... at least he...

He can't remember if the Eggs got out. They... they're like babies. A whole room full of toddlers who couldn't run. They had to de-connect from the main building to lift it out. He can't... can't...

He saved them... right? Held on.. long enough? Why can't he.. he...

Danny has to make him focus be for the kid spirals. Don't think of your last moments. Purpose. You NEED to do something right now, right?

Right! The League! We gotta warn them! And... okay. Danny can totally do that. (What LEAGUE??!) He DEFINITELY knows who you are talking about and will tell them Right Away. YOU however are gonna rest up.

So he leaves the kiddo with Lunch Lady. Mother and Frightening Matriarch Extraordinaire. Lunch Box promises to SIT on him if he tries to sneak off. Good kid. Now eat your soup before you BECOME soup.

Time to bully the eyeballs. Whoms't the F*ck is this "league"? And where does he find it? Talk. He has sand and he's not afraid to use it. Don't MAKE him get out the pepper grinder! Yeah. That's what he THOUGHT.

After much, prolonged and unnecessary, whining and dramatic threatening... he gets a printed out map. Cheapskates even used flimsy paper. He gets there. Jaunt is even kinda nice. He says hi to a few folks he hasn't seen in a while.

Opens a portal.

Steps out.

Gets punched in the face. RUDE! He punches the flying blue man back. Dents their wall. Not even a LITTLE sorry about that now! See if HE does you a favor aga-... is that his Ex? John?

John! Constantine you B@STARD. YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS. *Ten different hands slap a twenty on the table at his feet, including Constantine. Who is refusing to look at anybody.* Well, okay then. Debt payed. Gonna buy himself a shake or something, after this.

ANYWAY~ Good News Or Bad News?

He is met with silence. It's like they've never seen an ethereal, giant, glowing man with a suit that looks like a cut out of the night sky, step out of an eye searing rip in reality before. Man they're lives must be boring. But frankly? Danny can wait. It's not HIS reality that's gonna get messed up. He can take care of it if the wanna be Wah Babies. Good News or Bad News??? Pick one.

He sits back in the air and waits.

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites