#Me when I write out a whole bunch of words and don't re-read them.

[total-drama-brainrot]

father ophe shall you psychoanalize courtney

specifically her Problems™️

You know, as much as I'd like to say Courtney deserved better than she got, for the most part I think a lot of her suffering in Total Drama was easily predictable for a person with her characteristics.

And I don't mean that in a "Courtney earned everything she got by means of being a Bad Person™" kind of way. Because she's not - a bad person that is. But the fact remains that Courtney's depiction in the show, and most of her unfortunate actions/decisions, are a direct result of her character aspects. Her personality and drive. Her priorities.

In a more realistic show, she'd experience the same tragic outcome simply because she's too invested in winning, and that investment blinds her to the unsightly actions she can and will take to win.

So I'd like to preface this analysis with that; Courtney's actions in the show are easy enough to ignore as "poor writing choices", but they do make sense for someone with her particular temperament, chronic need for commandership, and perfectionism.

Let's start with season one Courtney (or Island Courtney).

At the beginning of the show in its entirety, we're introduced to a Courtney who's a lot less intense than the one we eventually come to know and love. In fact, Courtney in the first two episodes of the show is significantly different from how she's portrayed throughout the rest of the show; she's compassionate and caring (her concern for Izzy during her introduction), and she's far more rational and level-headed than her later depictions. That's not to say she's not the same competitive and managerial girl, she's just... more subdued.

Even her speech patterns are different - I remember there being some confusion about who her voice actress was in the first couple of episodes, simply because her voice is so much softer (and slightly nasally), though this can be excused by the fact that the VA was likely still getting a feel for her character and how she wanted to portray Courtney.

Of course, at the end of episode two, we get to see a glimpse of Courtney's competitive (and slightly unhinged) spirit in the little monologue she gives to the camera. A sign of things to come.

One thing I find particularly ironic for Courtney is this confession she makes about Eva, where she states that someone's strength doesn't excuse their "psychopathic" actions/behaviour. Given how she acts in later seasons, this really highlights either a complete lack of self awareness in Courtney herself, or a major shift of her priorities prompted by her deep-rooted need to win.

Episodes three and four seem to be where the real Courtney comes into play. She starts showing off the characteristics we'll eventually come to associate with Courtney's personality, most notably her quick temper and her need to be in charge/control of the team. Whereas previously Courtney had calmly cited her experience as a CIT to justify taking control, from Dodgebrawl and beyond she starts simply utilizing sheer assertiveness (and her team's unwillingness to challenge her authority, outside of Duncan) to order the Bass around. And it works. For the most part.

Then her romantic subplot with Duncan begins, and we get to see the less obvious aspects of Courtney's character come into play.

Her confidence issues and the value she ascribes to "strength" (in Phobia Factor, when she can't face her fear), her repressed rebelliousness and impulsivity spurred on by Duncan's influence (pretty much the secondary focus of episode 12, Basic Straining) and, in relation, her secret desire to be free from the constraints of being a "rule follower" and the lack of knowledge/confidence to seek said freedom.

And then she's eliminated. And something in Courtney shifts.

Which, to be fair, I'd probably snap too if I was unfairly eliminated via rigged votes from a competition I'd dedicated myself to winning, especially if the votes were rigged against me for the actions of my kind-of boyfriend.

In the interviews we get with her in Haute Camp-ture, Courtney is hell-bent on revenge against Harold for her elimination, and she's violent with her threats against him. And her acts against him - she literally attacks him with a light pole and then bends the metal of the pole around him.

People who are mentally sound don't trap people in light poles.

They also don't fixate on winning reality TV shows to the point that their relationships deteriorate underneath their competitiveness and drive, but I digress.

Action happens, and it's. A thing. Courtney's played as the second and more threatening antagonist of the season, and she fits into the role well. They really ramp up her self-entitlement this season to play into the whole "I'm a CIT and a lawyer in training" deal, to the point where she literally sues her way back into the running. And her louder personality traits are amplified to make her more objectively villainous - not in the sense that she herself is villain, more so that her actions and behaviour work as the catalyst for a lot of conflict within the show. None of the other girls can stand her, she actively suffocates her boyfriend under her perfectionist standards, so on so forth.

It's still Courtney, just more. Like someone dialled up the Courtney-meter to an eleven, and sprinkled in some extra temper issues.

It's not like this shift in personality came out of nowhere though. As I said before, she's already showcasing this new aggression and overbearing will to win in Haute Camp-ture, so we know that her initial elimination in Island is what prompted her mental descent into antagonism. Though at this point, she doesn't recognise her actions as unreasonable. To Courtney, everything she's doing is entirely justifiable, and anyone who disagrees with her is trying to sabotage her.

Just like Harold did.

Courtney's competitiveness and her willingness to do anything to win and, in part, innate aspects of her temperament, but they're also symptomatic of the trust issues her Island elimination instilled in her. Trust issues that cause her to alienate herself from the people around her, holding others to impossibly high standards and/or disregarding them as not worth her time, in a subconscious effort to prevent them from hurting her.

Her relationship with Duncan becomes rocky at this point because she's overbearing and distrustful, and he's averse to authority and flaky. Courtney's perfectionism and trust issues work directly against Duncan's own problems, and their romance crumbles under the pressure.

Or at least it would, if they'd stop getting back together.

And then World Tour happens.

Courtney is initially distrustful and avoidant of Gwen, because she sees everyone else in the competition as a direct threat towards her and her acquisition of the million, but slowly comes to see Gwen as an ally. And then a friend.

And then Gwen breaks that trust by kissing her boyfriend. The trust issues come back into play with this betrayal, and Courtney's more aggressive personality traits come into play once again. This time though, her intenseness is a defence mechanism against the people who've hurt her, not a means to fuel her desire to win.

Eventually she gets eliminated for putting what little fragments of trust she had left into Alejandro of all people, but to be fair she doesn't really seem that bothered about losing World Tour - if her continued support of Alejandro in the finale means anything.

And then, I've heard, All-stars is an awful season for her. I haven't watched it, so I can't comment there.

-

That about wraps up the summary, let's get into her mindset.

Courtney enters the show itself as a seemingly demure and responsible person. She's proud of her status as a CIT and future lawyer, and she strives to lead her team to victory.

From the get-go, we see hints of her internalised need for leadership, and glimpses of her perfectionism. As the series progresses, we get to see her character grow from someone who follows rules and regulations to the letter, to someone who isn't afraid to take risks and break rules to her own advantage - which directly opposes her perfect "goody two-shoes" mindset and feeds into that suppressed desire for freedom I mentioned earlier. We also get to see her temper come into play, as she becomes a lot more assertive and quick to anger as the season progresses.

The Duncney plot in Island could have been good for the both of them, had their eventual fate been written differently. Duncan taught Courtney how to let loose and be reckless, and Courtney could've taught Duncan the value of structure and control in day-to-day life. They balanced each other out.

Her elimination is where Courtney's Problems™ come into play. For the most part she was a bossy but bearable presence on the Island, and it isn't until she's booted off the show that her more manic and unreasonable behaviours start surfacing.

We know from her whole "uptight CIT" deal that she struggles with perfectionism, and confidence issues that stem from said perfectionism (since no one can ever be perfect all the time, that's just human nature), so she disguises her insecurity underneath a layer of fake emotional strength that usually manifests itself as pride. It can be assumed, given her track record of overachievement, that her parents are probably the ones that enforced the standard of flawlessness within her. To the point it became less of a suggestion or a goal, and more of a constant standard she has to live by.

Her unfair elimination hits her hard, not just because it gives her some trust issues (that are only exacerbated later on) but because losing the competition goes against her standards of perfection. She was supposed to win, and not doing so is falling short of her expectations.

Her perpetual need to be the leader is likely a symptom of control issues, which often times go hand-in-hand with perfectionism - it's easier to make sure things are exactly as they should be when you're in complete control of them. It's also probably a result of her upbringing as an overachiever or "Type-A", as leadership skills are seen as a desirable trait to cultivate.

You mix together her control issues, her perfectionism and her competitiveness and you have yourself a very volatile molotov cocktail of emotions ready to blow upon her elimination.

Another thing I want to touch on is how unaware Courtney is when it comes to other people's needs and desires. She's very egocentric in her perception of the world, and oftentimes ignores or just doesn't realise how her own actions can impact other people. The biggest example of this is her treatment of Duncan throughout Action, where the impossibly high standards she holds him to take a huge and visible toll on his health, but she doesn't seem to notice. Or care. Because she's so caught up in the idea of having a "perfect boyfriend" that she doesn't think to consider how said boyfriend feels about it.

This egocentrism also plays into her control/leadership issues, since she oftentimes sees herself as the only person qualified to lead a team of people.

So, to summarise:

Perfectionism instilled within her (probably by her parents) that lead Courtney to holding herself to impossibly high standards she can never hope to achieve.

Confidence issues because of these unachieveable standards that she compensates for with a "large and in charge" personality, feigning emotional strength by supressing her feelings, and getting as many academic and extracurricular credentials as she can get.

Despite the confidence issues, she sees herself as inherently better than other people, either because of her own achievements and "good qualities" or because the people around her don't meet her standards.

Competitiveness and ambition aplenty, fuelled by the perfectionism.

Trust issues thanks to the repeated unfair betrayals against her, that feed into her delusion of not needing other people, being better than other people.

Control issues that feed into her desire to always be in positions of power and/or leadership.

Egocentrism and a lack of awareness of others' thoughts and feelings, especially in relation to how her behaviour can affect others.

... Courtney has NPD.

Courtney has NPD and the stress of Total Drama acerbated it until Courtney herself became volatile and unstable.

But that's not the point of this post. Though it does explain the gradual shifting of her personality from a functional CIT to a semi-funcitonal Reality TV washup.

Her issues lead her to make decisions that seem rash and irrational, but to Courtney herself she's fighting tooth and nail against a cast that are actively praying for her downfall, so her ruthlessness is entrely warrented. She's a victim of her own delusions and trust issues, and a bigger victim of the horrors of Total Drama that led her to becoming the person she was shown to be.

Therapy and a lot of time away from competitions would do her a world of good. Getting herself out of the climate of Reality TV entirely could save her.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[aroaceleovaldez]

you're like the first blog i thought about ranting on this to but it drives me up the wall that some people treat any criticism aimed at tsats2 as being anti-ship or avoidable via just "not reading it". i dont think they realize that we're talking about a bigger issue of soulless commercialization and heavy quality downgrade of a franchise, not like. about an indie author publishing a fan book lmao

'i'll read it anyways haters gonna hate' crowd likely largely funding richard's mediocrity is sad.

I think part of it may have to do with a.) a lack of distinction in recent fandom culture between "Fandom" and "Audience" (alongside other recent fandom culture attitudes as well) and b.) so much of Rick's brand is built up exactly on parasocial behavior that a lot of fans get caught up in it. [under cut cause this got long:]

Re: The first, more recent fandom culture tends to treat "Fandom" and "General audience" as wholly equivocal. Because of this, the concepts tend to bleed into each other in a way we haven't quite seen before fandom became mainstream, and as a result we get a kind of Worst Of Both Worlds situation - a bunch of very passionate fans who have no community, create little to no fanworks themselves (only consume), and only engage at a surface level with the source material. Their only "fandom" community hub is the source material and official social media and they don't have a concept of how to exist outside it, unlike folks who are more used to older fandom culture and are self-sufficient. They have the passion and identity of classic fandom, but none of the depth, and so threats to the source material feel like threats to their community as a whole. They also just don't seem to understand that different subsections of the deeper fandom community are engaging with the material on an entirely different level, or they don't understand why they're doing that. They see no need to because they're never actually engaging with the community or source material beyond a surface level. Functionally they don't have a community. And mainstream media is actively encouraging this because it's profitable for them - they're reaping all of the rewards of fandom, minus the fact that because of the lack of actually community and support structures the entire "fandom" will only have a shelf life the same length of the source material. But at the same time this means they don't have to worry about quality or etc, because this extremely passionate side of their audience will just take anything thrown at them and it'll phase out almost immediately. It doesn't need to be good, it just needs to elicit some kind of reaction on social media. Any publicity is good publicity type stuff.

This lack of true community plus the parasocial emphasis the RR company has tends to make these types of fans double-down. Rick and co. are explicitly advertised as being both part of the "community" and integral to it. And when they've built Rick (and co) up as this moral paragon critical to both part of their identity they're very passionate about and what little of a community they have, any attack on him feels like an attack on themself. Particularly when so much of the publicity and marketing surrounding Rick right now is about his alleged activism when a lot of the criticism about him and the series is actively calling that into question with his unaddressed internalized bigotries. Acknowledging that what Rick is saying and promoting himself as versus his writing and actions don't always line up and pointing out the bigotry present in his work forces people to acknowledge and think about performative activism, which can make a lot of people very uncomfortable! It's forcing them to acknowledge "Oh, even if I'm saying all the right words and calling myself an ally, I am not immune to being bigoted if I don't address my internalized biases. My actual behavior matters." and that especially can feel like a personal attack. Especially in today's western landscape of media consumption being viewed as a moral act in itself.

I suspect this is why a lot of the retaliation against criticism of Rick and the franchise right now is "Why can't you just have FUN? You're just trying to hate for views. Don't take it so seriously! It's not that deep!" - they not only have no interest in engaging deeper in the material, but don't understand why others would, and doing so jeopardizes the foundations of what they consider the fandom. They can't fathom anybody legitimately having these criticisms (particularly not anybody who would ACTUALLY consider themself a "fan" - because their perception of "fan" is themself) because they're so resistant to digging deeper into the media/source material or the concept that anyone would for any legitimate reason (because as long as they keep it as "it's not that deep!!! it's just fun! just enjoy it you wet blanket!!!!" and take things at their word, they can feel secure in that performative aspect and not have to unpack it), and acknowledging that those criticisms exist and are valid means they have to acknowledge the franchise is flawed and imperfect, so they presume the claims are entirely superficial and the individual has ulterior motives rather than, yknow, doing what fandom does: diving deeper.

[venomhound]

World of Warcraft - Wrathion Crush Headcanons

I actually have this GIANT document written up all about Wrathion; how he gets crushes, how he courts, and so on. I wrote it like a couple years ago. I guess Ill break it up into a couple posts and throw it on here since I'm actually posting my brainrot now lol. Maybe someone will get enjoyment out of it.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Re-edited 11/10/24 so its easier to read. Contents are the same, formatting is just a little different!

WARNING: Old writing. Not beta read we die like men ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Wrathion is very ‘classically’ romantic. When he thinks about romance and courting, he thinks about it in a very stereotypical Victorian-esque way. With the man being a gentleman, giving flowers, writing love letters, and generally being the one to put their heart on the line. All while the woman looks on, blushing and giggling.

Honestly, its probably due to a bunch of romance books he has read.

Don't get me wrong; I used the word classical and not traditional for a reason. Wrathion is not the type to think in firm gender roles or anything (dragons as a whole don't really subscribe to the concept of gender). He is just of the mindset that if you are interested in someone, you show respect to that person and you express your interest. None of this pining, subtle flirting, or love game nonsense.

Wrathion absolutely despises people who don't do anything about crushes (without a good reason of course. Like, if the person is already taken, nothing you can do) and/or just sit and pine. Its one of his absolute pet peeves.

I totally see Wrathion getting SO ANNOYED with Anduin if he came to him with love problems. Anduin would try to vent to him about his feelings, signals he is getting from his crush, and what signals he should give back without being too obvert... Meanwhile Wrathion doesn't give a fuck about 'proper courting protocol' or any of that nonsense and is ready to flip a table.

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Wrathion is just a very big gentleman overall and surprisingly chivalrous. The easiest way to get on his bad side is harassing, disrespecting, and/or abusing a woman.

Wrathion would probably fall into the demi-romantic category. I can never imagine him experiencing love at first sight, or even falling for someone soon after meeting them.

Wrathion is more the type to become great friends with someone then have a love realization hit him like a freight train. He falls in love like falling asleep; very slowly, then all at once. It just punches him in the face before he can tell whats going on.

One of the first signs of Wrathion’s feelings are his stares. At first they'll be very studious looks, like your a riddle he cant figure out.

He wont hide these looks either. You'll easily catch him (and lock eyes if your brave enough).

However, when Wrathion’s feelings shift, the inquisitive looks he gave you quickly turn into loving gazes. His once sharp eyes now soft and full of admiration.

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Dragons have a very strong instinct to protect and lavish their partner with gifts. These will be the other main tells that his feelings are changing way before either of you catches onto it.

Wrathion will check in whenever he can, asking how your doing and feeling. He may be busy, being a Prince and all, but Wrathion somehow always finds time to check in on you.

Because Wrathion himself has sleeping issues, he has this almost sixth sense for when you haven't slept or are exhausted. If you refuse to rest, Wrathion will try to help you with your workload as much as he can.

Wrathion catches on quick to what your needs are. If you have a tendency to forget to eat or drink, he will gently remind you. If you have a tendency to overwork yourself, Wrathion will try and push you to take a break.

Of course, these examples are when he is first catching feelings. Once you two are a thing, Wrathion becomes much more pushy and insistent.

Sleep deprived? Wrathion is pulling you to bed in his arms and taking a nap with you. Haven't eaten? Your getting something made for you right away, don't even worry about coming down. Overworking yourself? Hard to work when you have a guy kissing you all over and begging you to come relax. If that doesn't work, Wrathion will just straight up lay in your lap like a cat.

You'll also notice him being very physically protective as well. Although admittedly, it'll be difficult to discern what is actual protectiveness and what is just him being a gentleman at first.

Wrathion does the usual things you'd expect of someone of his rank. He will make sure you have safe passage and escort you himself if need be. He will also guide you with his hand to your back in crowded room.

However, he quickly starts upping himself when he starts getting feelings for you. Instead of asking if you need an escort, he will insist that he escort you himself. Instead of only guiding you through crowds or when things get dicey, Wrathion preemptively offers his arm to you to hold onto. If he does end up having to put his arm around you, you'll also notice that instead of it being the super gentle, almost guiding graze his hand had before; his hand is now firmly, protectively placed upon you.

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As for the gifts... Oh dear. This is a deeply embedded dragon instinct that I think would cue alot of people into Wrathion’s feelings wayyy before he figures it out himself.

It starts innocent enough, you were complaining about not having enough of [X], one of your old pieces of armor started hurting you, or maybe a weapon broke. Well whatever it was, Wrathion took it upon himself to fix it. Has to make sure your in tip top shape, right?

Then you eyeball something at the market for a little too long, you mention a book you've been wanting, or this really cool sword you like. Before you know it, its suddenly in your possession.

Wrathion then just starts to get you things that he thinks you'd like or remind him of you. It deteriorates so quickly that he always seems to have something for you.

Wrathion is all excuses. Oh, its just a reward for being a good friend! Oh, he just saw how worn out you were lately and thought you needed something to cheer you up! Its an early birthday present! And this one too. This one is a late birthday present.

For a trained rogue, its actually kinda pathetic how he cannot come up with a good deflection as to why he is giving you all this stuff to save his life. But thats mostly because he doesn't even know why he is doing it himself to be honest.

(I literally imagine the gift instinct to be SO STRONG that Wrathion could swear to himself, ‘okay, no gifts, no more nothing’ then literally end up giving you the stupidest shit like an actual rock because it was pretty. He cant help it. Its in his GENES. HE MUST GIFT YOU)

Once you two are an actual thing the sporadic and, honestly, quite chaotic gifting he was doing before is no more. But thats only because it has been replaced with him absolutely spoiling you. The chaos energy he had before is now being put to good use.

One of his favorite activities is dressing you up. As weird as it sounds, he loves having you try on a ton of different outfits and model them for him.

(If it was a modern AU, Wrathion is the type of guy I could see spending hours at the mall with you and being absolutely giddy about it.)

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[morelikeravenbore]

🦋 Writer Interview Game

Thank you for tagging me @theladyofshalott1989! Everyone go read her Like Moths to a Flame series pls (it's on my to-read list and I'm really looking forward to it!)

When did you start writing?

I've been writing for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I used to hand write entire novels lol. At school, they'd assign us a little writing project and I'd show up with like 28 chapters, ongoing. I remember reading one story aloud once and the whole room was dead quiet after, and one girl goes: "whoa." anyway, eventually they were like, hey I think this kid is gifted (or autistic LOL but why not both.)

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? 

Not really haha. My brain really goes: HEY WE REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS ONE THING AND WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING ELSE. I mean, I do enjoy reading non-fiction, and I love the classics, but mostly I like fiction/romance/light fantasy stuff. 

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? 

Nah. I just write like me. I guess the HP series had a huge influence on me since I was SO obsessed with it, which is probably why I write past tense/third pov limited. Sometimes I'll re-read a lot of Austen and end up using a bunch of old timey words in my next chapter, but mostly I just write and it comes out sounding like me. 

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? 

I don't have one. I write 99.9% of my work on my phone wherever I happen to be. My brain is chaos but it works for me. (Right now I am writing this on the beach while my dog digs holes beside me.)

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It's kinda rare that I can't find a muse. Usually I just burn myself out, so reading, resting and rotting helps restore my creative energy.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

HahahhA y'all this is too personal for me *sweats* but yes: grief and shitty parents. No, that does not surprise me. I also seem to have a thing about orphans and red heads.

What is your reason for writing?

I don't know how to stop.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

With fanfic, when people tell me my characterisations of canon characters are spot on, or when people tell me my original characters feel like canon characters, hehe.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I don't want to be thought about by my readers at all, which is why I'll always write as an anonymous gremlin. And as far as my characters and stories go, I honestly don't give much thought to it. People are free to think what they like, it doesn't really bother me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Getting inside my characters heads, I think. Understanding their motivations and writing them as real and flawed and human as I can.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Honestly, I love it haha! Sometimes I might cry for three days believing that I'm absolute garbage, but that's just life innit. Mostly, I write because it's one of the greatest sources of joy in my life and it just makes me happy.

Np tags: @galaxiasgreen @lyworth @gingerlegacy07 @sloanesallow @thesuperiorfeeling

[coralhoneyrose]

📚 🔮 ?

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Oh man, there’s a whole bunch of them as a matter of fact! I made a list for an anonymous ask a while back that you can find here, but there have been some other excellent chrobin fics I have found or re-discovered since then, so here’s a few additions:

Our Last First Meeting

Elevation

Flushed

Mate in Four

Went looking for a creation myth; ended up with a pair of cracked lips

Day of the Dead

As It Should Be

Guilt and Forgiveness 

Heavy is the Head 

Mental math

The Best Dad Ever

Firefly

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

I do have some, actually! Most of this has probably been said before, but here’s some stuff that has helped me:

Take a break. Like a real break where you’re not even trying to write or plan for your writing and set a minimum length for the break ahead of time. If you find yourself wanting to write during the break anyway, don't. Better to make yourself take the time away and give yourself a chance to miss it; also, you don't want to teach your brain that the breaks are conditional it needs to be a real period with absolutely zero expectations of producing anything.  

When you come back to writing afterwards, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Start with small goals like “I will write for 10 minutes and if I am not enjoying it at the end, then I will honor my feelings and stop”. If you have a hard time with accountability, try telling a friend you will start at a certain time and having them message you once the time is up to ask if you were able to follow through and how it went. 

Fresh air!! If it’s feasible, preferably somewhere with trees or a body of water. Could be good to go alone as well, or with someone who won’t expect you to talk the whole time. Making time to let your thoughts wander and to daydream is important for replenishing creative reserves.

Try a hand at drawer fic. Write something really different from what you’ve been working on with no intention to ever publish it or necessarily show it to anyone. Just let yourself focus on the actual creation process without all the pressures

Talk with friends about some of the things you love / that get you excited about whatever thing you’re trying to write (may work better with fic than original work but could probably be made to work in either case)

Put on really good music when you sit down to write. I recommend something instrumental personally, since my brain has a hard time making words if I am listening to someone else’s, but that sort of thing is different for everyone.

Read books with prose you find inspiring and take notes (can just be on your phone) on the writing techniques the author uses that you like or specific word choices and phrasing you find interesting. Next time you sit down to write, revisit it to get some ideas flowing

This last one is kinda specific and may only be applicable to certain types of writer’s block and burn out, but I was in a bit of a writing slump not long ago and reading this blog post was very reassuring to me. To generalize it a little more, maybe try looking into other writing communities or listening to other writers share their experiences with the same thing. One of the scary things about writer’s block / burn out is that when you’re in it, it can feel like it will never end. Hearing from other people who have been in the same position as you can be really reassuring <3

[hisgxrlfriday]

RR fans and their scary parasocial ways

So I've been thinking about this for a little while and with the WWWY announcement a lot of attitudes have been re-emphasised online. I love Ryan and I honestly just feel bad- I don't think ruined is the right word nor am I trying to speak on his behalf. A lot of this is my opinion, but also, I'm really not making stuff up I'm just using them to justify my viewpoint. I'm gonna try and break it up into paragraphs, i know i said an essay but I'm in the middle of exams and theres nothing i want less than to write another damn essay.

Without further ado, here's my commentary on fan culture and how it how seems to have impacted Ryan Ross.

To clairfy, I'm assuming he's a bit done wiith the whole fame thing based off how little we see of him- compared to like, Jon.

Initial reception-

Obviously Panic blew up massively very early on, when they were very young. And fans treated them really gross. As a band they were harassed- if someone said to their favourite artist today "I want to lick you" they would get torn up. But there's a video where they talk about these kinds of comments being made to them at shows, and the interviewer laughs. These kids were young. Jon wasn't old enough to drink. And the behaviour was considered totally fine. Was it because they were a bunch of teenage boys, why wouldn't they want hot chicks all over them?

I'm not going to evaluate the effects harassment has. I am, however, sure you can understand. Yes that is just one example. But theres no doubt it happened plenty of times and people did not care. I'll go more into the sexualisation of the members later as well. But yeah. This was the treatment people dished out to Panic, its kinda obviously not cool! This is certainly more general than the rest, btw.

That fan who pretended to be Brendon Urie-

The sheer extent Chelsey Lynn went to in order to catfish Ryan is literally incriminating.

Here are the details: https://www.tumblr.com/pathetic-at-the-disco/171916782926/the-time-that-ryan-ross-was-catfished-by-a-fan

Brendon and Ryan's friendship, according to this, had officially fractured in 2010 and Chelsey wanted to rekindle it. We'll never know the genuine intent and that sucks- not too mention that you could begin to believe that it was driven by a sickening desire to prove 'Ryden'. It sucks that this fractured any chance of Ryan and Brendon hanging again- because Ryan clearly wanted that. And of course, he was so embarrassed. Why would he trust fans, why would he want to interact with anyone after that?

I think its clear that this did have a lasting impact, because Ryan clearly wasnt interested in rekindling the friendship after it occurred, personally I would never want to look at Brendon again after those messages leaked, its just a very personal thing and it sucks. We know that it was awkies between them because of that video from c2016 (made up time based on his hair) where Brendon explains that yeah, they saw each other somewhere and the conversation was super awkward the kind of thing you get from someone you literally toured the world with.

That instance in itself would have been enough for me to flee the country personally, but maybe I'm projecting.

The Milk Fic-

If Brendon Urie knows about it and Gerard Way read it, everyone ever knows about the milk fic. And theres two ways you can address this. I read the milk fic when i was young and it was gross. and then I read it again when I was older and that shit isnt just gross- its like. abhorrent. appalling. offensive. I think the issue with this isn't that its RPF- it's the fact that it is disturbingly vulnerable, highkey is romanticising abuse, and was (and kinda still is) the punchline to too many jokes. Aged 10 I proudly watched 'emo bands on crack' and other videos of the sort a lot, and the milk fic was mentioned a lot. Literally today (october, 2024) I saw a TikTok about it.

I think if i was a celebrity I would want people writing shit about me. Yay for a bit of fanfic. But when the work that is associated with you so broadly on social media is that... blegh. Its like, violating. I love CrankThatFrank, always did, but I'm telling you if Ryan Ross knew anything of CTF's content, which I assume he did based off the interview, Ryan totally knew about the milk fic. And that is no hate, Franks content was banger, and he wasnt the only person who contributed to it. So. I dont know, I dont see why fans would write that, but obviously the only people who would write about celebrities are fans. Its backwards.

[Edit] just proving my point, the photo at the end was posted on Halloween in 2024 and it’s soooo off putting that I’m not even blocking out the user

Conclusion-

I was gonna do a chunk about all his dickriders online but. I hope for their sake and his sake he doesnt see any of it. It's unfortunately embarassing. I'm going to pretend that he is completely unaware of them therefore it cant impact the relationship he has with them.

Anyways. Unsure if the tone of this is perfect, I've not really done a grammar check and I very well could keep adding to this post. Thank you for taking the time to read this all <3 happy to explain my thinking

[goodluckclove]

I have a project that I started for Nanorimo. I won Nano but after it was over I lost the motivation to write the last of the first draft. I think it’s a combination of not knowing exactly how to end it, not a lot of people to share it with, and being worried that I’m gonna re-read what I have and just find it bad.

Hello, Friend! Please, sit down. Take a deep breath. I'm going to say a variation of a form of writing advice that I'm sure you've heard a lot, but I'll hopefully elaborate it to the point where it clicks. I actually started writing through NaNoWriMo, it was a really great way to build up the muscle of consistent practice. Did my first six or so novels like that. Fun!

But I have good news and bad new about your first draft. The bad news is that it probably isn't perfect. The good news is that that's a great place to be in.

For one thing, NaNo specifically is not a traditional way to write a very stable first draft. People will spend years on what you've done in 30 days. To compare them is comparing your blanket fort with someone else's McMansion and thinking "dang what if my blanket fort never has faux-Roman arches".

Some people say their first drafts are perfect. This confuses me but I accept it and believe them when they say it. I do think that these people are not talking about drafts they carved out of word-flesh in a month or less. That's an entirely different game to play. When you hear people talk about how you're supposed to have a shitty first draft it could be hard to swallow. We don't want to feel like we put in all this hard work to make something shitty. So maybe I can say it a different way:

Your first draft is the skeletal structure of the story as a whole. It is the frame to what you're trying to achieve.

And I can say from experience that not liking your first draft doesn't feel the way you might think it will if you go at it the right way. I've written twelve books and there's only maybe two that I read fragments from and genuinely cringe. And even then there's still stuff I like about it.

Maybe you went into some kind of fugue state for a month and wrote a bunch of stuff that you hate every part of. You're a big high fantasy fan and you wrote a gritty detective novel. You love Dark Academia romance and when you read your NaNo you find it is just a list of every slur you could think of and new ones that could be added to the lexicon. If this happens to you then yes, your first draft is objectively terrible and you should probably take yourself to the hospital.

More likely your thoughts will look like this:

Maybe I should cut this. It's not really needed.

Oh I forgot the protagonist has this specific trait, I should remember that and incorporate more in the rest of the book

Hah yeah I see where I was going with this.

I should add more details about this concept, considering I now know about this other concept.

Hah man that's a lot of typos. (Assuming you're like me)

These are the types of things I have thought when I looked over literally every first draft I've ever edited since the dawn of my time as a writer. You are not likely to rend your clothes in shame and burrow underground. Even if you find some weird shift that happens in NaNo novels, like the genre or tone changing midway through the document - professional writers do that too. It can be a more efficient way to explore the space you're working it.

It can be a really interesting challenge! It helps too that you took some time off - I try and take at least a week between draft edits, even though it can be painful. You'll be able to see it with fresher eyes.

My usual strategy for editing my own drafts is to read from the top with curiosity and excitement and treat it like a puzzle. Is this what I want? Can it be better? Was there something I missed? Incidentally, when I'm stuck at a point in the novel I use the same trick and it helps every time. It's how Chuck Palahinuik did Fight Club!

So yeah you already did a huge thing by finishing a NaNo. Why not take a look back, if not just to enjoy the crazy and chaotic fruits of your effort?

Also - in regards to people not reading your work. Out of 12 novels I've probably had 3 read all the way through. It can suck, but it's okay and it doesn't mean they aren't good. Validate yourself and enjoy your own writing and start putting shit online/self-publishing/querying to take a chance!

[rcmclachlan]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @microcomets. Thanks, friendo!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

71 currently. I've orphaned a bunch, though.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

526,242

3. What fandoms do you write for?

These days I write for whichever fandom strikes my fancy—it might be a new one, or it might be one that I fall back into every so often. My most recent fics have been a mix of new (Beyond Evil, Good Omens, Loki) and old (Cardcaptor Sakura).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Live The King (DBZ, bulma/vegeta)

Stopgap (Good Omens, crowley/aziraphale)

100 Zeni (DBZ, trunks/goten, bulma/vegeta)

Named (Supernatural, dean/castiel)

Solve for X (MCU, tony/loki)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I've gotten better at this! I now make sure to reply to every comment on my newer works (sometimes it's a bit overwhelming, but I think the effort is worth it).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Oneiori. Like, Cas gets a happy-ish ending, but it's not going to last. Womp womp.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

These days, I try to end all my fics on a happy note! The happiest that comes to mind is Heritage Site.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I've gotten hate maybe twice since I started posting to AO3 in 2010? That's statistically negligible, which is kind of amazing!

9. Do you write smut?

Not often. I don't mind writing it, but it really needs to serve a purpose to the story for me to make the effort.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

Nah, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I've had a fic's summary stolen! That was a trip.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I'm floored people like my work enough to put that kind of time and effort into translating it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I tried, but it ultimately didn't work out (mostly due to writer's block and scheduling issues).

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

This is like asking me which of my children I love more. It'd take me a month to answer this question and I'd need someone at CERN to check my work.

I will say Kakashi/Iruka is my most enduring fave; I started reading them in 2005 and fall back into them every 3 or so years. I'm currently in a kakairu cycle (as if y'all couldn't tell).

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Speaking of Kakashi/Iruka.... Hadopelagia. It was just far too big in scope for me to even think about finishing. I think I frightened myself out of it! For the best, though. I re-read it the other night and it's a MESS. This is why betas are so important, kids.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten a lot of comments about how I use metaphor effectively, as well as comedy. I don't think I'm particularly funny compared to other writers, but it always fills me with joy when someone mentions my dumb sense of humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely smut. There's nothing worse than trying to keep track of where everyone's legs are.

Me: "I used the word 'cock' fourteen times in this paragraph......... well, maybe no one will notice."

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I've done it! Named had a whole scene written in Spanish (I tried my hand at it and then had a native speaker edit it). I think when done well, it adds something really meaningful to a story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first fanfic I ever wrote was before I even knew what fanfiction was. It was an Animorphs self-insert fic and I wrote it on a legal pad at my grandparents' house in like 1997. The first fandom I officially posted fic for was Fruits Basket in 2003, followed by QAF in 2004.

20. Favorite fic you have written?

Probably A Twist of the Knife. I had an absolute blast writing Nie Huaisang, and I'm really proud of the story as a whole (which is rare for me).

Tagging: @sonatine, @lemonistas, @stitchyblogs, @dadvans, @ataraxetta, @nandalorian, and anyone else who wants to get in on the action. :-D

[gerryrigged]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @vellaphoria! ♥

How many works do you have on AO3?

14 total, 4 on my gerryrigged account.

What’s your total A03 word count?

27,558. A good number of my pieces are quite short ficlets. I don't have a big portfolio of work - I've been in fandom for quite a while, but almost entirely as a lurker. For a handful of years, almost all of my writing output was in RP.

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now? Just DC, mostly Bats for the time being. Previously, hockey rpf, Star Wars, K, X-Men: First Class, and One Piece.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

hgjkldsf, most of these are on my other account, but:

[redacted] - ~10k, ~1700 kudos, hockey rpf [redacted] - ~3.5k, ~900 kudos, hockey rpf [redacted] - ~600 words, ~600 kudos, hockey rpf Hold It Up To The Mirror - 2.3k, 347 kudos, DC Comics [redacted] - ~300 words, ~300 kudos, One Piece

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I want to, because commenters are lovely and I appreciate them so much! And I try to, I just...don't always succeed >_>💧 or, looking at it from another perspective, I'm just very behind on them!

I adore people's comments and re-read them with fair frequency, and I do love interacting - but I also tend to get over-excited/anxious and then end up just turning the comments over and over in my little paws admiringly like sparkly gems instead of replying. Or, for another example, I got a bunch of lovely comments on my timeloop dicktim fic, but haven't been able to psyche myself up to reply because I still haven't been able to get out the promised follow-up fic, ha 🙃

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, probably Hold It Up To The Mirror. I left poor Dick and Tim in a really fucked up situation there, and it would absolutely have to get worse before it got any better. I do envision it getting better, though - despite where I end fic sometimes, I'm a sucker for eventual happy endings, especially for my OTPs. so I'm usually imagining a future path where things improve, even if it would be a (very) rough road to get there.

freefall (and the aftermath thereof) also left off on a pretty angsty note, but I give the edge to Hold It Up To The Mirror because of how bleak it is.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm not sure how to quantify this, lol, I would say most of my happy endings are pretty happy. For fluff factor, maybe my latest, let your heart be light, because that one just revels in the shmoop.

Do you get hate on your fic?

Not so far - fingers crossed it stays that way!

Do you write smut?

Yes, sort of? Like. I have written it, and I would certainly like to write more. But I consider myself very amateurish/unskilled at it, so I'm embarrassed of it and mostly it doesn't see the light of day. Guess I need to spend more time practicing! 😅

Do you write crossovers?

Nope, not a huge fan of writing crossovers or fusions myself, though I'll read them occasionally. When it comes to fandoms, I tend to only have one hyperfixation at a time, and mixing two different ones doesn't really appeal, at least in terms of what I myself am driven to write.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of - fingers also crossed it stays that way.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so? It's been requested before, but I never saw the results XD

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not so far, though I'd like to! The closest I've gotten would be writing out closely collaborated scenes in RP, which can in some cases read like a fic.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh no, if I was forced to consider all of my fandoms at once, I'd have no idea. For DC, it's definitely DickTim. (It was Tim/Kon before this most recent immersion in the DC fandom, when I started to dig into Bat comics more holistically and DickTim reared its head up and swallowed me whole.)

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hm, I don't know that there are any in particular that I would firmly put on the shelf. The ones that I more generally doubt are all the ambitious long-fic ideas >_> because I suck at those. But they still exist as goals of mine, so I won't jinx any of them here!

What are your writing strengths?

.......Humor, maybe? Oh, I've been told I'm good at conveying tone and character voice through prose, and at putting together memorable or hard-hitting turns of phrase. Possibly structuring emotional arcs? 🤔

What are your writing weaknesses?

Elaborate run-on sentences. Descriptions, especially of setting details such as locations, clothing, etc. (hence why these things are often missing in my fics, lmfao). Purple prose. Over-editing. Overuse of implication/ambiguity/metaphor to the detriment of clarity. Stringing multiple scenes together, scene transitions in general, over-arching storyline plotting and all the other difficult parts of writing longer more plotty pieces. The 'stage'-blocking of physical movement, and how much/little of it needs to be described to be effective. Research - I am way too prone to just handwaving and going ehhhh, something something fill in the blank here, you know what I mean >.>

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this a couple times, but usually only short lines. Sometimes it's for effect - the POV character might not understand the language, so it's as impenetrable to them as to most readers. Or it's a line most English-speakers would be able to parse due to cognates/related languages, but it's just funnier or feels better in the other language. Or in like anime/manga fandoms, it might be a line in Japanese that most fans/readers would already be familiar with. Usually though I've just been Google translating, and have been kindly corrected on grammar etc. in the comments before, haha.

First fandom you wrote for?

well. that would be in like. middle school lol oh god. I think it was a Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing crossover hghkldjfskl. That or Dragonball Z. Thankfully my recollection of my FF.net account name has been lost to the sands of time.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

hm. I don't have strong feelings on this; I usually end up looking at my past fic with a critical eye. Maybe the little gen Dick & Tim ficlet I have on my other account? I wouldn't say it's my best, by any means, but that one kind of wrote itself in a fever state when I hadn't written anything in literal years, so I'm very fond of it for breaking through a creative block and being my first toe into writing for the DC fandom proper.

oh, and if you haven't been tagged yet and would care to play: @deepwithintheabyss, @annerp, and @the-alice-of-hearts?

[signiorbenedickofpadua]

20 questions for fic writers!

I was tagged by both @honeyteacakes and @acedragontype. Thank you my dears!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 right now. I think I had three or four up on my first account, but that one was randomly deleted by the site in like 2019? Or something? I never could get it back, and I never republished the fics, because I kind of lost motivation for writing for a while because of that, and now that I'm back in the game, it's been so long since I wrote that stuff that I either don't really like what I wrote then, or figure that I'd rather rewrite the one fic that I do still like. Oh, god. I just remembered that there was ONE fic that I actually orphaned back then, which means that it's still up. Oooh Christ... I'm not going to name drop it, because I orphaned it for a reason - the reason being that it's the crackiest crac!fic imaginable, born out of sleep deprivation and giggly group chats... I'm looking at it now, and it's apparently 10 years old. Oh. Oh no. I reread it. Oh, god. This was the first "attempt" at smut I ever wrote, and it was between a woman and a sentient inanimate edible object. 8d10 psychic damage, do not recommend.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

At the moment: 296.290 words When I'm finished updating This Dream Is Over (Another Has Begun) it will be around 350.000 words, and I just hit 105k on the Regency fic I'm working on, so by the end of the year we might be close to 500k... written in one year...

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Sandman, currently. On my last account I wrote for Merlin, ACD Sherlock Holmes (a school project, believe it or not), and a LotR/HP crossover (yeah, I don't really feel like re-publishing and finishing that in 2023, for obvious reasons). I might go back to writing for Merlin again, some day. I sort of want to rewrite that one fic I did post, because I quite liked the premise...but I feel like I would need to rewatch the entire series before I did that, and who's got the time?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. My Stranger, My Dream - 1507 2. Totus Mundus Agit Histrionem - 818 3. Yours for the Taking - 579 4. Body and Soul, Always and Forever - 565 5. Stay, Just this Once - or - GroundHob Day - 499

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to reply to almost every comment, because I want the commenter to know how much I appreciate that they took the time to comment. I crave that validation, perhaps a little too much, but that's robably common with authors... When I'm updating a fic one chapter at a time, I usually manage to reply to all of them, even if it's just with a couple of heart emojis (if I couldn't think of anything else), but once the whole fic is up and I get one reader who is leaving a bunch of comments in rapid succession, I sometimes skip the one's that are just emojis or exclamation marks and focus on the ones I have real replies to - not because I don't appreciate the emojis just as much, but because I worry that I'd be spamming the reader with like five identical heart-emoji replies :P

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm, I tend to end things rather happily, but I suppose Stay, Just this Once could be read a bit angsty, since it ends with Hob in 1889 going "Dream kissed me and then left with an implication of potential future kisses? Oh boy, I can't wait until 1989!" when, you know, Dream won't show in 1989.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably This Dream Is Over. I mean, they're all pretty happy, but that one is just so hopeful and soft... You'll see what I mean when I post the last chapter ;)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. There was one reader who left a couple of comments with very much unasked-for advice (and fairly bad advice, at that) which made me feel a bit meh, but that's hardly hate. Then there was this one comment that went a bit like "Well, that was stupid," and to this day I have no idea if they meant the writing or the characters (who were, to be fair, being very stupid in that chapter). Tone can be very hard to read in text, so I'm trying to give them the benefit of doubt. But no, no real hate, thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup. When I started writing again about a year ago, I decided to give it a try, not really thinking I could make it work, considering the last time I wrote romance I had trouble even describing a kiss (which was almost a decade earlier), but it actually worked (I hope)! Then I just couldn't seem to write something without smut. I tried to deliberately leave things off before the explicit parts in one or two stories (making them "just" mature) for people who aren't into the stuff, and I also try to make all the explicit content skippable for those who want to read the rest of the story. What kind of smut? Idk, I've written M/M and M/F so far, I'll probably write F/F at some point too. I think most of it has been fairly vanilla so far, with some light themes of BDSM maybe, if you squint.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Only that LotR/HP one I mentioned earlier, which I abandonded when my account was deleted. I did start planning a Star Trek AU for Merlin, but I think I only wrote a chapter or so before my motivation died and I never published anything. I think I'm generally more interested in AUs taking place in other franchises than "real" crossover with actual characters from both universes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Let's keep it that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I suppose I could do it myself, but as the only language I speak well enough to translate into is Swedish, and Swedes tend to read stuff in English anyway, I don't know that there would be much of a point.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd be open to trying! Could be either super fun or incredibly frustrating, but you never know until you try!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, I think it's a draw between Merthur and Dreamling. If I went back and started reading and writing fic for Merthur again, I'm sure I'd fall right back into it, even if Dreamling is my current obession.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Only the couple of WiPs I have from my first AO3 account, I think. I'm trying really hard this time around not to jump between projects too much, but finish what I have before I start something new. If I give myself free reins, my ADD is going to make sure nothing ever gets finished.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, for sure, and characterisation - or at least I fervently hope that my readers would agree on that point.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions, definitely. What does anyone look like? I don't know, I couldn't decide, make it up yourself. I had to go back and make myself add a sentence about Hob's friend Dana being blonde in the last two chapters of This Dream Is Over, since she's an OC and my readers would have no idea at all what she looked like otherwise. It's a struggle, and I do try to practise, but it doesn't come as easy as dialogue and character.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Fun! I've written a few scenes with some Middle English in them, and I have this vague idea of part of a scene where Hob and Dream are walking in London or something and Hob overhears a couple of Swedish tourists discuss how to get somewhere or something, and him turning to them and giving them directions in hilariously outdated Swedish, and Dream going, "When did you last visit Scandinavia?" And Hob says, "Um, 1745, I think. Why?" and Dream is like, "...Nothing." I just don't know how funny that would be to readers who don't speak Swedish... Might still use it some day.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically? The Redwall series. I was like 10 and we had to write a story in school, and I was obsessed with Redwall and wanted to write something with talking animals, and I couldn't come up with a better name for the place, so in the end I straight up copied the world and wrote more or less a self-insert who ended up there, entirely oblivious to the concept of fanfiction, but I suppose it counts anyway. I won a prize for it. I have no idea if the adults who judged it knew it was fanfic or not...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it's the Dreamling Regency AU I'm currently working on. If I manage to pull it off as well as I'm hoping to, I think it will be the best thing I've written so far. I'm even considering looking for beta readers for the first time, because I think it has potential and I want it to be the best it can be.

21. CHEEKY EXTRA QUESTION BECAUSE I FELT LIKE GIVING ADVICE - What's the best advice you have for other writers?

If you write longfic, NAME YOUR CHAPTERS! My first couple of fics just had numbered chapters, and whenever I had to go back to double check some detail, or rewrite some sentence I had to retcon, I had to be like "uuuh I think it might be chapter five??" and then waste a bunch of time checking. Now, I have chapter titles which are descriptive enough to remind me of exactly what the chapter is about, and it has made my life so much easier... Also, connected to this, actually using the chapter headers etc. in your word processor so that you get a list of chapters you can pull up to navigate.

Tagging:

@pellaaearien, @arialerendeair, @hardly-an-escape, @ml-nolan

[therealslimshakespeare]

ok, this might just be me, but I think I was a little taken aback by some of the negativity in these asks re Maureen. I get it, you don't have to love any character - but I do wish other anons would give the story a chance to play out? I love all these characters and the complexities some bring and the warm and fuzzies others bring, but ngl, I usually love these updates but I don't like scrolling through the asks when its a bunch of people just crapping on one character. I feel like every time someone says something positive about Maureen, there's comments explaining why they hate her and I just feel like - let people love what they love? This series is fucking amazing and there is so much to gush over, why the need to crap on a character before you know her whole story? one bad conversation does not define you and everybody has words they would like to take back. I'm sorry if this seems out of place, and don't feel like you need to respond if it'll cause more negativity, but I just felt kinda sad over it all

I know it was a big ole dare to write Maureen’s first true POV chapter as her lowest point ever, but apparently I did fuck up, lol.

Or maybe not. My brand of feminism’s says let there be real, messed up, redeeming themselves women, just like our male anti-heroes.

I still enjoy the hell out of figuring her out, warts and all, glad you do too. I personally know folks like her, seen them improve too, think there’s a place for girls like her. If I’d had less work this month I could have written more to follow up, yet it is what it is and I do love to hear both sides but I’m super grateful for you popping in to even just say you enjoy her at all!

And yes, I’m not anywhere near accusing or needing to put a stop to it but I hope everything can stay respectful as it has been. And that yeah, sometimes it feels responsive. No sooner is there a love note than there’s a counter argument. But I take it as it just sparking folks own opinions on it after having read another’s. That’s my guess, my hope.

[antigonewinchester]

ooh share something about hesitation or triptych? <3

I will self-indulgently to do both <3

Hesitation but IC is inspired by a Destiel fic called, surprise surprise, Hesitation, written by apokteino, who I think was a fairly prominent fic writer back in the day? She had a series of dark Destiel fics, including Hesitation, the Bone series, the When series, and most infamously With Understanding. I find her work interesting intellectually, in her focus on exploring questions around sexual violence, relationships formed under duress, and the complexities of perpetrators & victims & their dynamics, but it feels like she maps her ideas onto SPN rather than centering canon characterizations or dynamics (at least in my read of the show/characters).

So, I decided to try my hand at a fic with the same premise but more in line with canon, particularly taking into account Cas's control/power over Dean in S4 (and which I don't feel is negated just because of Cas's sexual inexperience, altho it does add some complexity) and Dean's full experience in Hell. Part 1 is from Dean’s POV and Part 2, which I’m currently working on, is from Cas’s:

“You told me Dean wanted to have sex with me. He did, and then he didn’t.” Zachariah and he are sitting at a bar in New York, the city. It’s night, but he can’t see any stars, only the glowing of offices and apartments and advertisements against the sky. One large, flashing sign reads: Open Happiness. The moon is a cut of pure white. The humans around them talk and whisper, blissfully ignorant of the angels and the war they’re fighting to protect them. Their breath forms clouds that rise to disappear into the dark. All are dressed in what he believes are fancy clothes, long flowing red fabrics and unwrinkled suits of black, but he’s no longer sure how much he knows about humanity. Zachariah shrugs. “Humans say they want one thing, then do another, and Dean Winchester is no exception. This is why they need Heaven’s hand, Castiel.” The woman sitting to his left laughs. The man she’s talking with has taken her palm and put it up against his. Her fingernails had been carefully painted in stripes of white and black.

Triptych is sort of the opposite end of the spectrum, in that it’s my attempt at a Dean/Jack fic after looking on AO3 and finding... 2 decent fics of the whole bunch.

I started out as just wanting to do Dean/Jack during S14, but its slowly turned into Dean/Jack in the aftermath of Dean/John, probably in part 'cause I started writing it in the midst of Utena rewatch, which all about memories & cycles & incest & eternity (and then when I got to the part of S14 where Dean suggested locking himself in a coffin for eternity to save the world...) I was also struck by a post of someone discussing a common Utena interpretation that one character didn't actually want to sleep with her brother, but the poster asked if she did, would that desire negate any harm? Does wanting something "bad" mean you can't be hurt by it? If a relationship was both meaningful & hurts you, how do those elements go together?

Got a bit stalled out on this one because Holy Shit the emotional complexities here, and I want to handle it respectfully? Not be gauche? My plan is to have it all lead up to 14x20 and Thee Dean Jack Moment, re-contextualizing it within the scope of my fic, but I'm still figuring out what it all... adds up to, I suppose. (Also that I'm bad at writing character being mean, and Dean has to be mean in this fic, at least for parts of it!)

Heaven turned out to be the world’s best movie night: his favorite memories playing over and over and over again. The road trip where Sam introduced him to Harry Potter and Dean taught him how to read a paper map. He could rewind and play through his favorite five minutes as many times as he wanted. He could make everything faster or slower, which was funny for a little while, but he stopped after it got weird, like when he repeated a word too much and suddenly something would change and it wouldn’t be a real word anymore, just meaningless sounds. He could change from memory to memory in an instant, if he really wanted, but mostly he liked to let them play out before he moved onto another. And once he got to end, it was back to the beginning: a conversation trailed off or a lesson finished and then he was back at the start, to Cas’s reassuring smile, telling him about mistakes and guilt and forgiveness, or Sam’s bright concern, telling him how to take a punch, or Dean’s warm hand on his back, telling him where north was. The one thing he couldn’t do was imagine anything new. He tried, at first, in the memory of that day with Dean, how their conversation at the river could have gone—Dean’s voice low as he’d whispered, “Come here,” and then—and then—but it never worked. Guiltily he’d moved onto other memories, and at least they were too the same: if he'd ordered a hot dog, all he could eat is a hot dog; if Sam and Dean had driven past the apple orchard on a hunt, there was no turning down the short dirt road to pick fruit instead.

[plantcrazy]

UPDATE - Lost Children - 25/11/23

I've got a few updates for you guys on progress and what not :D

Aka. Lots of reading stuff today! (Don't worry, I'll keep the walls of text small, I don't like reading them either >< )

So firstly, DISCLAIMER!

I keep forgetting to say this, but after Part 1, Ch.9 old readers (or those who've read part 3) are going to start noticing some contradictions in the story. Please hold the information you read in Part 1 as truth over Part 3, as Part 3 needs editing and as I keep working on Part 1 (and now 2), I'm changing a lot of information. This is why older chapters may no longer be accurate, in the right order, or involving characters which are no longer present.

NEXT! - Progress on Part 1

As you can see, the word count in creeping up and one chapter got murdered this week >:) Thanos snapped from existence!

SO! Ever heard of the 'Sexy Lamp Test'?

No?

Me neither ^^

So, the sexy lamp test is, "If a character can be replaced by a sexy lamp with a note attached to it, they're a poorly fleshed-out character and don't need to be in the story." And this got me thinking, well, why am I using this random Toppat here, when I've got SPOILER who could do the same job?

So I tried SPOILER in that spot instead and... I LOVE IT >:D

However, this makes a MAJOR contradiction for Ch. A Puppet on Strings and a bunch in Part 3. Which is why A Puppet on Strings has been murdered, and I need to slap that big old disclaimer on A03 with the next chapter to go up and on the front of Part 3.

Otherwise, I'm about done :D

I'm doing the usual last minute edits on Ch. 11, 12 & 14, and then my next biggest goal is to settle on where exactly to split it into Part 1 and 2.

I've been working with A Minor Set Back, placed a few hours after all the fun is over, but I'm still tossing up ideas on where would be best to cut it and just how much of the consequence should go on which side of the part divide. Part 2 is pretty much the consequence chapters, so... *shrugs* I'll figure it all out, I just like keeping you guys in the loop with stuff and I know I personally find the insight to how writers brains work quite fascinating so maybe so of you guys do to.

PROGRESS ON OTHER PART

As said before, I've started on Part 2. Mostly it's just writing down the consequences of Part 1 scenes, and then the chapters I keep flipping between the two parts while I experiment to find the best layout.

Part 2 & 3, I'm working on the pacing and deciding if I'll be keeping them as two separate parts, or merging them to be one larger one and shove the back end of Part 3 onto Part 4.

And that leaves me with what to do with the mess that is the original Lost Children upload on A03. I don't want to delete it, but my god, is it a mess to sort out. I could keep fighting to edit it, I could archive it... I should make a poll on this. I think my biggest worry about editing it is I'll have to delete and re-work so many chapters It'll make a mess of it. That might be more of my fear than anything: Losing the older vs... eh, I need to think on this. Do some more arguing with my sentimental side, lol.

For the story as a whole, I'm working on shortening it.

I think, myself as a writer, I have this problem where I keep adding and adding all these cool ideas, and the story gets to a length which would, A) take forever to write, and B) becomes unmanageable for me on my own.

I think my other fear with the length is, I'm starting my BA degree in Feb, so I'm going to be busy. Heck, I'm already busy with all the moving stuff and I haven't even started the course yet :P

I want to finish this story 100%. And I feel, with my irl stuff and other side projects (older stories I want to rewrite and new ones to start) the best way for me to accomplish that is to shorten it. And all these over cool ideas I have for, like, an in-depth story into Project Harmonious, or this neat Toppat Elite Alternative Universe origin idea and what not, could be saved for smaller side projects once I get the main story done.

I have this REALLY cool sketch of this AU idea, and I can't share it, and as much as it kills me because, it's so freaking cool, it would literal RUIN one of the story lines in Lost Children, so... _ _ :

Anyway, this is where my head is at the minute. Regardless of what I settle on, my top goal is to finish writing and upload the story.

So bare with me. I got this.

Chapter 11

Ch.11 will be, I think, tomorrow. I have one small piece to add in for foreshadowing purposes, and the cover art idea is so cool, I want it done first, lol.

Since I said today, and it's not >> I thought instead I'll share ALL the WIPs of my process in making a cover from idea to finished product.

So, that'll come out later today, and I'll keep updating it as I make progress.

Now, if you'll excuse me... I have adulting to >>

[procrastinatorproject]

So, I was just mercilessly roasted by @regionalpancake, and it reminded me that I had opened tumblr a couple hours ago to write a post about the exact same thing she roasted me about -- but then I was good and put tumblr away because i need to do SO MANY UNI THINGS 😱

But now that it's come up again, I'm gonna just write this and then get back to Productivity™

Basically, I have this huge collection of semi-finished, mostly plotless Star Trek: La Sirena whump stories. And I do mean huge! On the order of 200k+ words, in fact. None of which I ever intended on sharing, because it's all daydream-adjacent and OC-centric (because my daydreams are pretty much exclusively self-inset. 'tis how the brain rolls, and always has).

If I ever wanted to share any of them publically, first of all, it would require a whole bunch of editing and/or added context to gloss over the parts where you'd need about ten years of daydreamt worldbuilding to understand what the fuck they're even talking about! And even with that smoothed over, there is still the issue of having a non-established and somewhat non-descript original main character, which can really put people off. And while I primarily write for myself and only secondarily for my friends, if I put something out into the world for others to see, I do wnat it to be semi-decent, so I do think about these things a lot.

But I've been rereading these stories, and goddamnit, there is some excellent writing in there! And some of it has already showed up in some of my main feed fics, but a lot of it hasn't, and actually, I really want to share it!

So, now I'm faced with a conundrum, because my choices basically are:

Only slightly edit the existing stories to smooth over the bits that really need additional context to make sense to a reader who hasn't lived in my head the past decade, but otherwise leave them as-is

Only take the best bits and pieces from the existing stories and create new original stories out of them that feauture canon characters (or maybe one or two OCs but make them fully-fleshed characters by including the required establishing passages to bring new readers on board)

Search-and-replace the OC with a canon character and do the required editing to make it work.

And I'm honestly torn 😅 Because I've been attempting approach 2 over the last few years, and nothing has been happening. Approach 1 is the "Fuck it, I write for myself and have a right to archive those stories, too!"-attitude I aspire to, but it's also fucking scary 🙈

But coincidentally, I was re-reading one of these stories earlier, and my brain kept going "Hm. If you shuffle these characters around a tiny bit and then make Agnes the main character, you'd only have to do some minor editing here and here for it to work really well for her, actually 🤔"

And just now, when I lamented to Pancakes that I really want to write more Agnes, her devastatingly accurate reply was: "Just search replace some of your whump with Agnes! That should fit, right?"

(Which... There is a reason I identify with Agnes so hard it makes it difficult for me to actually write her 🙈🙈🙈)

So yeah. That's what I've been mulling over this fine November day.

Serious question: Would you read a story that is fairly clearly marked as "OC main character with minimal establishment" if it containted characters and tropes you enjoyed? Or is that a huge No-no for you?

And second question: can you tell me why you feel either way? Is it nice to have a more-or-less blank slate to slot yourself into? Does it feel too personal if you suspect you're reading a writer's self-insert, whether they confirm it or not? Do you not care as long as the characterization of canon characters and the whump are good? Is it "I'm going to fanfic so I don't have to do the hard work of connecting with new characters"?

And if it were a properly established OC, i.e. not just "this person exists, already slotted into this crew, don't worry about it", but "this fully fleshed-out character has a backstory and a history of how they met these characters and they will be introduced accordingly" (like, say, Xyr in A Night at the Opera), does "OC" still make you think "must be self-insert and thus must be shit?" 🤔

[shychick-52]

Weird writers asks- 1, 7, 10, 13 and 19!!!

OOOH, THANKS. :D

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, size 12. So, standard. I'm used to it, having written in that all my life, plus it's by far the easiest on my eyes. I know there's a trick with some other font that's supposed to increase writing speed or the amount you write, or something, but I always forget to try it!!! DX

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Breathing life into the characters and scenarios in my head. It's such a fun, almost surreal feeling. Writers are demi-gods, at the very least. We create life. :D It's like that one lyric in the 'Barbie Girl' song- "Imagination, life is your creation!"

I also love sharing my ideas about my favorite characters, including my headcanons, with others. Even though not many people read my stuff, I still love putting them out there. XD

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I've been haunted by so many wonderful writers' stories, including yours! In other words, a really incredibly-written, powerful story (often heavy on the drama, angst, and hurt/comfort) that stays with me for a long, long time that I can't stop thinking out. One that destroys me in the best way.

As for my own writing, it doesn't necessarily have to be angsty or dramatic, although those are my favorite kind to write about. It's often an idea that I can't stop thinking about, that I HAVE to write or I'll go crazy. Like 'Who Am I?' and 'Circumstances and Control'. And I can't stop thinking about where to take the story next, what to do with the characters (usually it's the multi-chapter stories that haunt me the most), and I lie awake at night planning out details, scenes, and dialogue. And even once each new chapter is posted, or the story is finished, I often re-read them to see if they're as good as I originally envisioned or if I still feel the same pride about them I felt in the first place (and I'm pleased to say they usually do hold up).

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Anything sexual (especially pure smut). I'm ace/sex-repulsed as hell. I don't have much experience writing or reading about sexual content, let alone... ah, personal experience (because I'm not comfortable with any of it), so I also wouldn't even feel confident trying to write it. (However, I did write a one-shot fenro story called 'A Definitely Real Man', which was SCARY AS HECK because I've never done anything like that before. But to my surprise, it turned out really well.)

Subject matter easy for me to write is anything angsty. Especially where loved ones' lives are at stake or are dead (with lots of grieving, suffering, and even self-blame). I also love writing about abusive (or dead) parents.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I wrote my first fanfic in high-school for the anime series 'Cardcaptor Sakura', which was a really short one-shot. (A friend of mine had introduced me to fanfiction, and after reading a bunch of it, I decided to give it a try too.) As the years went one, I wrote more and more fanfiction for different interests of mine and soon it turned into a life-long hobby to this day.

As far as original writing goes, during my university days I wrote the first two books in a planned-out children's book series I've always wanted to write and publish. Unfortunately, it went through a lot of hiatus and writer's block because I couldn't get the story and characters to work properly. So, I abandoned it until years later when I picked it up again with a whole new idea to make it work; I ended up scrapping most of the original storyline and characters, leaving only the bare bones intact. Since then, it's worked out much better! I'm currently writing the third book in the series and editing the first two, but I don't really know how many books I want the series to be. Maybe two or three more? (I'll probably never get it published, but who knows? At the very least, it's another fun hobby.)