#Maybe not enough?

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Uncaring

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[wishfulsketching]

Some not so serious doodles about the idea where Silco survived and Warwrick!Vander found him. I did these as fanservice for ME! Especially the clothes thing

(have fun trying to figure out the reading order of the third sketch dump)

[bloomeng]

core 4 magical girl set finally reunited

[doctorsiren]

sock opera

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia

[humming-fly]

was anyone gonna tell me shadow saved rouge's life in sa2 or was I just supposed to find that out playing the game myself

(this worked out as a rather fitting closer for the Final Day in Year of Shadow haha, hope ya'll have a fun new year! 🎉🎉🎉)

[housegoblin]

Baldur’s Gate 3: But Make it Cats🐱

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[goombasa]

Learning to Read for Pleasure Again

When I was in elementary school, I hated reading. It was really hard for me to learn, and I always felt like an idiot when I struggled to read words that it seemed like everyone else was able to read with relative ease. Or at least, that's how it appeared to me. This changed when I hit middle school and I became very ravenous for books. This continued through high school as well, and I was actually a pretty avid reader, mostly of genre fiction, but I also developed an acute interest in nonfiction about topics that interested me (this mostly consisted of computers, writing, and behind-the-scenes books on various mediums I enjoyed).

But when I hit college, there was a pretty big shift in my habits. It wasn't that I didn't have the free time to read, though classes definitely took up a lot more time for me than they did before. I just felt like I had to focus so hard on everything else around me, that I had no time to read for pleasure anymore. Add to it, this was also when I started my foray into first putting videos up on youtube, which slowly consumed more and more of my schedule as well. Even when I was home for holidays or vacations, I felt so tired and unmotivated, I couldn't find the energy to crack open a good book, even one that I had read a few dozen times already. I hadn't stopped consuming media either, that was for sure. I still played video games and watched movies and television regularly. I still made time to indulge in my brother's eclectic musical tastes (our house was filled with burned CDs that featured a hearty mix of ska, reggae, new metal, and classic rock), and I also took any opportunity I could to just catch up on sleep.

And then after graduation, this persisted, not helped by the fact that I fell into a very deep depression after coming home from college, that would last for a good two years before I managed to start actually getting up and doing stuff again. And while I did manage to do a lot to right myself and actually taking care of things, find myself a job, and get myself into something resembling a healthy work-life balance. I'm still working on wrangling all my various hobbies and interests and actually focusing on one thing at a time. But one constant that remained true through all of this time is that I still couldn't bring myself to start reading for pleasure again. I tried, multiple times. I tried setting aside time during various parts of the day, I tried rewarding myself (something very difficult when you figure out that if you're in charge of your own rewards, you can reward yourself whenever you want), I even tried easing in with books I had already read several times over, books that I loved and knew that I could get through easily, hoping to make it into something of a habit.

None of it worked, and it's been a great annoyance for me for a long, long time.

Recently though, since I started keeping track of the various media that I finish and consume over the year, I've started to make a conscious effort to start working through various backlogs of mine. Shows, and games, and yes, books that I've had sitting around for forever. It wasn't until I started trying to work through these backlogs that I realized how much of an accumulation I had. I think everyone has that issue with something, where they're constantly buying new things (usually on sale), but never actually does anything with it. I'm like that most often with books. You ever gone onto Thriftbooks when looking for a particular fantasy author? Dangerous stuff when you can get classic fantasy paperbacks for like less than 4 bucks a pop. but it gets to be a problem when you don't actually do anything with them.

And now, after about five years of working as an assistant librarian, I finally feel that spark coming back. I'm still a mess when it comes to time management and actually setting aside time to work on projects or just enjoy myself. But I am making a much more concerted effort to actually start reading again, specifically for myself. And it feels nice. I've been having building anxiety issues for the last few years (who hasn't, given everything that's happening in the world today), and it is remarkable, the escapism that reading has afforded me. It's a rather different feeling from what I get from a movie or a show or even a video game. I can feel immersed or engrossed in what I'm watching or playing, sure, but reading evokes a different sort of feeling when I'm essentially forced to imagine in my mind's eye what it is I'm seeing or hearing. In a way, it allows for a level of detachment from my surroundings that a visual medium doesn't provide, at least in my opinion.

It's been a long road to this point, but I am glad to say that I've reached it. Slowly, but surely, I am finally settling into a pattern of pleasure reading, and it's been doing me a lot of favors in terms of keeping my anxiety at bay, and I don't feel like I'm just binging something to binge it like I do when I'm watching a lot of series nowadays, I feel like I'm giving a certain level of investment when I sit or lay down to read in the evening and it's rapidly becoming a form of decompression for me. And hey, I'm finally doing something with that library card of mine. Ironic that I spent so many years working for the library and I never once took advantage of the fact that I was surrounded by plenty of amazing reading material, I just had to give myself a good kick towards actually looking through it.

If there are any fellow lapsed readers out there who are feeling similar, I wish I could offer advice, but as I said, I've tried and failed many times to reach a point where I can get back into reading for me, and there's nothing wrong with not getting back into it. But the benefits are well worth pushing yourself to trying to get back into being a regular reader. There are a lot of stories out there begging to be read, and in a day and age where media can so easily be taken away from you, there's a lot of comfort to be had in the physical feeling of a book in your hands.

[draconym]

Part of me secretly believes that if I make a really, really good and perfect piece of art that it will prevent people from ever being mean to me again. They'll say, "Wait, aren't you the one that made the really, really good and perfect piece of art? I'm so sorry for what I said. I thought the art was so good. I wish I had never hurt your feelings, now that I realize you are the one who made the art. I also have decided to agree with your political opinions. Here's a gift card."

[notbecauseofvictories]

I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

[asthedeathoflight]

Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*

[maidfrin]

STOP! before you make an extreme decision or take drastic action of some kind, think about SIFFRIN

are you:

S - sick?

I - indignant?

F - fatigued?

F - famished?

R - resentful of anyone trying to help you, even loved ones?

I - in a state of distress?

N - needing a hug?

if you answered yes to one or more of the above, fix that and then get back to your big decision!

[mangozic]

no little british boy don’t go into that yellow door

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa suffered more than Michael in FNAF