#Maybe I should write my own fic idk
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Ugh I feel so bad for Morgana, that she feels so alone about her magic.
You'd think she and Merlin would be closer despite the fact that she doesn't know Merlin has magic, if only for the fact that he knows she has magic and is safeguarding her secret.
Maybe he's angry at her for cowardice about the Witchfinder and not helping to try and free Gaius. She seemed more concerned about herself ngl but I don't blame her tbh. It's understandable and a flaw in her character. She doesn't have to be perfect. Trying to save your own skin from persecution and burning is perfectly understandable and the Witchfinder was manipulating her and playing with her fears.
I'll give Merlin this. He's strong in the sense that he is willing to sacrifice his life for the people he loves. And Gaius too... I think Morgana doesn't realize she is loved very much. She's just privileged. But love. She lives with a father figure who professes that he loves her but treats people like her like scum and then there's Arthur who always sides with her father-figure.
(Writing this I can see why a lot of LGBTQ compare the ban on magic to the persecution of LGBTQ because anybody could be gay, anybody could be born of magic, and your parent might love but the moment they find out that you're different that you're queer, is the moment they might reject you, especially if they've shown prejudice before. That's pretty harsh. So, I get why people queerify or see Merlin and Morgana as gay).
She lived her life as a privileged girl never expecting to give up much and she also doesn't want to give up much. She wants to live her life being herself and that's all. It's not until she meets Morgause where she's allowed that and then that's when she finds the person she loves and is loyal to, the person she'll sacrifice her life for if she could.
#Morgana and Morgause apparently had an incestous lesbian relationship#that's how Katie McGrath was playing it apparently#unless she was joking#it's hard to tell with her#She's also a Merthur shipper apparent#Katie McGrath is crazy about Merthur so is one of the writers of BBC Merlin apparently#I'm lowkey kind of a Mergwen shipper too#But Mergana is my obsession and yet here I am hating... I promise I will try to post some positive Mergana posts but omg so hard#I'm so frustrated and angry#Maybe I should write my own fic idk#but omg Merlin why ugh why did the writers have to write him like this?#I love Merlin he used to be my favourite character#he still kind of is#he does have traits of a hero but ugh#I wish he had talk no jutsu powers#You'd think he would with how wise and inspirational he is#Merlin should've been Naruto and Morgana#Morgana should have been Sasuke#BBC Merlin#Morgana Pendragon#Morgana Le Fay#Morgan Le Fay
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prowlop….
#transformers#transformers idw#prowl#tf prowl#optimus prime#prowlop#I really want to read a prowlop fic but I’ve already read most of them on ao3#maybe I should write my own idk#doodle#suggestive
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dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3
dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human ✨✨✨ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)
horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)
ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333
dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)
OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)
#SHITS THIS OUT BECAUSE I NEED TO GET RID OF IT. my evil doppelganger will adore this post i've already shown them#this is definitely a bit of an exaggeration of their characters in my eyes but i love it :333#i dont think that dust is THIS deluded in my eyes and i dont think horror is this cynical. even tho theyre both still these traits#i came up with this idea while writing my mtt meets eachother fic :3#you can probably totally guess where i made the connection. thank you horrortale undyne for this one single thing#anyways i dont know how to shove killer into this LMAO. i was thinking like.... angel and demon on your shoulder to swap choices#but but triglycercule doesnt killer already have that with his stages??? well YES but both can be true at the same time :333#idk i dont have enough brain juices for this rn. so you get this half assed explanation 😭😭‼️‼️‼️#dust: we should kill this person. totally because they need to be freed and not because they piss me off#horror: no we should keep them alive but torment them so they never get the sweet release of death and suffer#and thanks to killer THEY CAN DO BOTH!!! YAAAAY!!!!! the powers of determination are awesome man (smug tiktok emoji)#dust is sounding awfully similar to a certain killer au of mine i made..... swapinverse rearing its ugly head once again smh#idk if this is more of a symbolic thing or LITERALLY angel dust and demon horror#because i like both ideas........ imagine an actual angel dust and demon horror going around with killer doing the little dialogue i said#what would killer be in this??? he's not a mortal or a human as would be per usual when describing whats between an angel or demon#killer as a god lmao..... noooo noooooo..... maybe just something akin to one. i meaaan technically-#someone who's more into religious theming would probably eat this idea but i cant be bothered uaghhhh#if i say anything about killer i will get shot. but i can tank a couple bullets. killer does have the ability to let both dust and horror#fufill their own ideologies. and also i am a big fat SUCKER for killer keeping horror and dust 'in line' IDC if its a bad sanses concept#i love it and therefore it's now mine to use in an only mtt context. otherworldly beings trio ‼️‼️ aghhhhh#i have like 89 drafts if the drafts reach 100 by the end of the year i think i'd DIE. so this is getting posted idc#you wont see me using literal angel and demon dust and horror. but if you look in my mind you'll see the themes regularly in what i talk ab#anyways back to writing this stupid fic i go. dust is currently battling several inner demons rn. good luck loser :3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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does anyone else ever just get like creative brainworms that are deeply distracting so it feels like your creations are trying to literally crawl out of your skin instead of like, appearing on your canvas
#not art#me right now#im trying to write a vander-centric fic#it is. killing me. slowly. or maybe quickly idk.#i just feel like i have some relevant experience that puts me in a unique position to write him#but at the same time i also want to develop my 'silco survived' au a little more#i want to draw the timelapse (he grows out his hair again)#i also want to draw young silco with his hair down#i am also unwell in both the 'vanco has its grippers in me rn' sense and#in the sense that i've spent the past few days sitting in a puddle of my own blood and various internal fluids#that should. in my opinion. STAY. internal.#but no. human body is a curse.
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hey guys so i just got some pretty bad news (TW death but my grandmother is dying) and so if anyone has any logan or any hugh character comfort fics I could really really use them please and thank you
#logan howlett x reader#hugh jackman x reader#idk im sorry lol#i just. idk what to do#that leo fic should be posting soon still btw#maybe i write my own leo comfort fic idk
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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Favorite iwtv fic from other authors?
ngl i don't read too much iwtv fic but i recently read this crazy fic from the pov of an universe tumblr user analyzing daniel's in universe book and it's one of the best fics i've read in a while
#dani replies#i feel like i should probably get more into iwtv fic maybe idk#i just write mine and live in my own little world
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I can't even joke about wanting a show about Maul fucking because first of all they would try to make him straight (which he absolutely isn't) and second of all you knowwww he didn't fuck before he had his legs cut off. he was too busy being a moody teenager and going on murder vacations. so it would have to be set post AotC. so for him to fuck they would have to canonize cybernetic dicks.
#hm i should make an original post tag#this is a joke this is a joke idk if cybernetic penises are canon or not yet#but also no joke he was only in his early 20s in tpm he did Not have enough time to fuck around#plus he is. extremely non sexual. yes comics love making him shirtless. but his entire character SCREAMS guy who doesn't fuck.#he is NOT fucking when he's king of mandalore he's too busy stressing about politics and his Plan#he is NOT fucking during the empire. he's too busy being a weirdo and looking for sith artifacts to use against sidious and/or kenobi#i could in theory see him doing some fucking around during early empire era#enjoying his last years as a crime lord. even though he's not even that into it#or. [looks at my maul fucks some guy fic]#a long version of that. maybe have the clawdite spend some more time in maul's service before he leaves.#maybe a. scene/episode where jabba sends another sex slave and maul lets the clawdite fuck them. while turned into him.#.... hauving covid over my own ideas#i am NOT going to write it. but it could be very hot. with good cinema topography.#mdni
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just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff
#honestly same with operation wanker#i finally put the wolfstar tag at the end of the relationship list#because genuinely when i first wrote the fic i debated leaving that out completely because i just do not focus on them At All#but considering theyre the very reason for the whole fic i couldnt not tag them#but james and sirius in operation wanker are as important to me as jegulus#and they go through a similar plot line of developing and changing so ?? yk???#idk how to tag i am really bad at it honestly#as you can tell i have exam season#hence me doing anything but the things i should be doing#hp#fic rant#i need a tag for general ramblings#i did take out a lot of character tags in a lot of my fics#like in some of them i literally now have a relationship tag but not the character tag which im also still not sure at#like on lies and spies still has the peter&marlene tag but it doesnt have a marlene tag anymore#and im still debating if i should also take the relationship tag out but also its important for peters actions??? idkkk man i am bad at thi#took out a lot of tags from amtc because i just felt it was too long overall#like i do think they were not completely unimportant but it was such a wall of text i felt a bit overwhelmed#tagging fics where its literally just 2 characters and theyre romantically/sexually involved is so much easier#like on high delight the tags make perfect sense because its very obvious what the focus is on#but i so seldomly write fics that are confined to just a ship (/) dynamic#maybe this is my arospec that ive been eyeing for the past 10 years and keep ignoring showing#i just care about writing relationships (&) so much more honestly#ok thats actually a lie im not tooo good with just platonic fics but i like writing romantic stuff in the context of friendgroups#i like characters having to keep secrets from the people they usually tell evrything to#love exploring characters finding out they have friendship boundaries they previously didnt know about#love writing about trust and and conflicting feelings and having to make choices#also lmao very iconic of me to have 5km of tags on a post of me saying i am prone to overtagging. really proving my own point here
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i love selfshippers u guys r so based
#'u guys' i am also one#but i more mean people who like..#commission art of themselves and their f/o#or draw a ton of it#write fics and stuff#u know like actually actively. create or purchase content#like i ship myself w some characters but mostly more in a kin way#or like. idk theres a degree of separation#mostly because of issues with my own identity as a person <3 slsdkjfs#maybe i should draw more selfship stuff for me. it does help me get more comfy with my identity when i draw myself#siiiiigh#personal
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reading fanfic was way more fun when i had no standards for stuff being in-character or well-written
#he would not fucking say that has ruined things#i wish to return to a world where i don’t click out of a fic instantly bcz a character’s being weird#i mean i can’t read ANY pjo fic atp bcz no one understands any of them like i do#rick riordan occasionally included#which sucks bcz the vibes of pjo fics r so fun but like no one can write in character nd it kills me#maybe i should write my own pjo fic i have multiple ideas-#idk#point is i wish i had no standards for things i like bcz enjoying bad things is the best kinda freedom#i mean why do u think i watch half the shows i do#fanfic#ao3#ryan shut the fuck up
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At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer
#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol#like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head#i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here#it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche.#did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it#maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better.#something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time#feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind))#so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb.#my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense.#like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute.#i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems.#partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance#saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse -#- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect.#idk why i'm getting so angsty#i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i#i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so.#maybe i'll try to write something original#i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well#so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3#anyway peace and love
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If you see the final word count for my completed fic gently increasing over months and months no you dont
#i have realised that the ‘fast n loose’ method for churning out a fic doesnt work for me actually#i am so sad that so much of that fic was skipped- or told and not shown- or brushed over in favour of me forcing it out quickly#i know i did it for a good reason- that if i took my time with it and it grew bigger and bigger that there was a risk i would have exhausted#myself and not finished it at all which would have been way worse#i think actually taking 3 months to craft 15k chapters with many drafts makes me happier than churning out 4k in a week#that being said im so glad its finished and that- somehow- it did so much better than i would have ever dreamed <33#now i can go back and make it what i want it to be without the pressure of racing against my own stamina#and. if im really honest. i didnt think i would still be into avatar for this long lmao#i thought id lose the brainrot at around month three so i had to finish the fic before then#and yet. month 7 and i draw spider in my sketchbook every day. i think about him every spare minute.#the brainrot is still kicking and im happy#anyway here i go to dive back into that fic and add even more angst and whump and maybe another hug. if spider is lucky#i also want to write a little one shot about Ngaire properly taking care of spider after something bad happens#but idk if people wanna read OC stuff and its certainly not my comfort zone so i might keep it to myself#N E WAY this was the biggest and dumbest ramble to myself about my own fics lmao i should really shut up and just go write :’)
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this definitely isn't me asking for any selfish reasons or anything at all, no no. but how do you feel about numbing gel, sexually? kink yay or nay (in the capacity you are comfortable sharing an answer, if at all.) [I am so good at asking questions wowee.]
haha aw I think you did a great job asking this question! and selfish reasons are welcome, even if this definitely wasn’t for those reasons ;)
so if I understand correctly, this means like, numbing certain parts for either orgasm delaying/denying or like objectification purposes? so blanket answer: kink yay lol into that
i got way too detailed with these answers heads up haha
can’t tell if you mean in fic or personally, probably fic but hey I’m in the mood to overshare on the internet haha so I’ll say fic stuff up here and put personal answers under a cut
so much fic potential, oh my god. honestly shit like a dom calling their sub a toy and like subs begging to be used, or multiple doms talking about their sub like they’re not there is sooo perfect so hot yes please (see: so many of my polyam losers hcs haha I love showering eddie in various forms of domination) so I’d be sooo into talking more about this (and objectification as a kink in general) in relation to any losers! (or some st characters if anyone has asks about them!). also, specifically for eddie subbing for all the losers, I think it would be really good for him to have numbing gel on his cute little cock so he doesn’t cum too soon or too many times before everyone’s had a turn! it’s only fair to everyone 😇 and eddie would want to make them all feel so good for as long as they want to use him 💗 (eddies the cutest toy everrr)
thank you so much for the ask and for fic the inspiration! I hadn’t heard of this before and I love being introduced to new stuff so this was an awesome ask to get
(getting personal now, last warning lol): personally, while domming, I think this would be so fucking cute. you just get to use and use your little sub and watch them feel so good but so frustrated because they can’t quite get off, and I thinks that’s adorable! and also a bonus: getting to use them longer! who knows how long you could make it go on for you know? so fucking cute 💘
as for while subbing: also super fucking hot, the idea of only being allowed to get off from penetration… or your pleasure not even being a consideration and you’re really just a toy to get your dom off…….into itttt haha
…perhaps I’ll write a fic about this some day
#personal#??? is that a good tag? hard to tell sry#uhhh#d/s dynamic#idk if i should tag any ships bc this issss not to reblog haha#made my own bed there#posts that don't leave the blog lol#again maybe i'll write a proper fic and put it out into the reblogable world#but not this one lol
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not me checking the shiki ao3 page and seeing a time travel fic has been posted-
#ooc#YOOOOO??????????#disclaimer i have not read it yet. no clue if it's good. but i'm hype!!!#i actually started writing my own time travel shiki fic a while back... i only managed like. one page so far but maybe i should continue it#idk. if i can summon up enough brainpower to concentrate and have enough ideas...
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Chapter 1: Favour
Masterlist
“You sure you’ve got everything?” Jada asked, hurrying round the living room to pick up some last-minute items. “Make sure you give her a bottle with her tea. They’re in the fridge at the back, remember to warm it up first, won’t you?”
“I’m not a complete idiot, you know,” Jim responded with a laugh. “I do have a vague idea what I’m doing. I help my sister with her baby all the time.”
“You’ll phone me if anything happens, won’t you?”
He rolled his eyes teasingly. “Yes, Jada. Now if you don’t hurry up, you’re gonna be late.”
“All right, all right,” she sighed, crouching down to where Emily was playing on the floor. She scooped her daughter up into her arms, planting a kiss in her soft curls. “See you tomorrow, baby. I’ll miss you.”
Emily gave a little squeal, flashing her a cheeky grin as Jada put her back onto the floor and turned to address Jim again. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Phone me if you need anything.”
“Stop worrying!” Jim laughed, stepping around Emily to push Jada towards the door. “You’re supposed to have fun. Everything here is under control.”
“See you tomorrow, Izzy!” Jada called up the stairs as they reached the hallway, hoping her other housemate could hear her.
Her fears proved unfounded, however, when Izzy's face appeared out of her bedroom doorway. “Have fun!” she called back, waving. “I expect some exciting stories when you return!”
Jada was unsure what kind of exciting adventures Izzy expected her to have at Ubi’s New Year’s party, but she nodded anyway, turning and heading out into the cold December evening. The last December evening, she realised with a nostalgic twinge as she climbed into her car. The last evening of 2015.
She reversed out of the driveway, pausing only to hit the start button on her Satnav before she set off. It had been five months since she’d last seen Ubi, when he’d moved out of his student accommodation in the summer and got himself a new place with a friend. The drive would take her forty-five minutes, her Satnav informed her, so she had planned to stay overnight and come home the next morning. However, it would be the longest time she’d spent away from Emily since bringing her home from the hospital eight months ago, and Jada only hoped she could last the night.
The house was not what Jada had been expecting for a third-year university student with no job. It looked as though it had been built in the Victorian era, with great bay windows and a small wooden porch, and was nestled on the edge of a country park. Despite having donned her best outfit—a red bodycon dress complete with heels she’d not seen for so long she’d had to clear the dust off them—she couldn’t help but feel massively underdressed for such an elegant setting.
She was soon reassured, however, by the sight of Ubi, who opened the front door wearing a fairly smart-casual shirt and skinny jeans as she was locking her car.
“Jesus Christ, Ubi,” she began as she made her way onto the porch. “Who’d you have to kill to end up in a place like this?”
Ubi grinned, taking her coat as she stepped inside. “Nothing to do with me. Morgo’s the one who deals with all the shady stuff. I just stand to the side and look innocent.”
“Innocent? You?” Jada laughed. “You’re not that good an actor.”
His smile widened. “Maybe that’s just what I want you to think.” He gestured for her to follow him into the living room, which was full of incredible antique-looking furniture to match the house’s grand exterior.
“Fucking hell, Ubi, is your friend loaded?” she gaped, but he only chuckled. “What the hell did you have to do for him to let you stay here?”
“Oh, you know, just the usual. Gotta help him reap the souls of the chosen, etcetera,” Ubi joked, causing Jada to smack him lightly on the arm. “You’re actually here early for once. Morgo’s gone out to get some extra drinks, so guess who gets to help me set up?”
“Aren’t I lucky?” she replied sarcastically.
Before long, other people had started to arrive, some of whom Jada recognised from her brief time at university, though most of them she had never seen before. The official start to the party was signalled by the music beginning to play, and soon drinks were being handed round as darkness began to fall.
It was around midnight when Jada stumbled into the kitchen, drink in hand, to find Ubi leaning against the counter and discussing something in a hushed voice with another man. The two of them looked up as she entered.
“Jada, come over here,” Ubi called, gesturing to her. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
Jada did as she was told. “All right, but you better not be trying to set me up with anybody. I swear, I’ve had enough of that from Izzy.”
Ubi laughed, shaking his head, while the stranger gave a small smile of amusement.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Ubi assured her. “I just wanted to introduce you to Morgo. Morgo, this is Jada Thorburn.”
He gestured between them, and the man named Morgo offered his hand.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Ubi has told me so much about you already.”
Jada snorted. “Nothing bad, I hope?”
Morgo had an unusual air about him. He regarded her with an unreadable expression, though she couldn’t help but feel slightly unsettled as his eyes appeared to almost look through her. They were partly obscured by his unruly hair, which fell in brown curls across them so that she was only able to see them when he wished her to. He seemed to belong perfectly in the surroundings of such an old and obscure house, but looked positively out of place amongst the people within the current setting. Even his clothes looked wrong; his too-large shirt and rolled up jeans looked as though they must have been borrowed off somebody else.
“You were in his drama class, yes? A budding actress?”
Jada nodded. “Had to drop out last year, though.”
“Oh really? May I ask why?”
“Had a baby,” she replied, shrugging. “She was premature, so it just seemed easier to quit and focus on her at the time.”
“A shame,” Morgo shook his head. “I imagine her father is looking after her now?”
“Nah, my mate is. We live together, so he helps me out when I need it.”
“Ah, I see.” Morgo nodded thoughtfully, and Jada began to wonder just how much information he was gleaning from her.
From the living room, one of the guests could be heard shouting above the music. “Ten minutes ‘til midnight!”
“I’m going back in there,” Ubi announced, swigging the last of his drink before picking up another. “Anybody coming?”
“Nah,” Jada responded, while Morgo just shook his head. “I’ll be in in a bit though.”
“All right, see you later, then,” Ubi bid them farewell, before heading back into the party.
Morgo took a sip of his drink, wrinkling his nose at the taste. “I have a favour to ask of you,” he said after regaining his composure.
Jada frowned. “What kind of favour?”
“I need you to trust me.”
Her frowned deepened, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “No offense, but that seems kind of a shifty thing to say.”
He chuckled, almost taking another sip from his can before he pulled it away from his lips hastily. “You’re staying here until tomorrow, correct?”
Jada was starting to wonder if that was such a good idea. “…Yeah?”
“Good, I will be able to explain more then.” He gave her a broad smile. “For now you should just enjoy the party, I suppose.”
Now it was Jada’s turn to drink, though she continued to frown at him over the top of the glass. “You’re a bit odd, you, aren’t you?”
Again, Morgo chuckled. “I imagine so. Ubi seems to believe so, at any rate.”
“You sure you can’t tell me whatever this ‘favour’ is now?”
He sighed, waving his hand vaguely. “It would take too long, too many people around.”
She nodded in neither agreement or approval, screwing her mouth up. “Right. Well, I’m gonna go back in there now. See you some other time.”
“Of course,” Morgo nodded, though there was a small smile playing on his lips. “Some other time.”
She made her way back into the living room, re-joining Ubi as the image of Big Ben on the laptop screen began to count down. Why neither Ubi nor Morgo had invested in a TV for the place she couldn’t understand, but that thought was soon pushed aside as the clock began to chime. Suddenly, the sky exploded in a burst of colour, the lights on the London Eye mimicking the fireworks in their own colourful sequence as 2016 burst onto the screen. Jada wished that one day she could see the show in person, perhaps when Emily was bigger and could appreciate it properly.
She’d had to watch last year’s countdown from her hospital room, keeping her headphones turned low so that it wouldn’t startle Emily. They’d been able to hear it even without the headphones, though, through the window, and Jada could still remember the flashes of colour dancing across the incubator where her one-day-old daughter lay. She’d been so sensitive to loud noises back then; she’d opened her little mouth to croak a protest, though there’d been no cry. She was too little to cry, the nurses had said.
Jada found herself crying now, watching the fireworks flash onscreen and reflecting on just how much her life had changed in the past year. When Ubi spotted her across the small crowd huddled round his laptop, his face grew concerned, at first. But after she’d explained her very legitimate reasons to him, he’d only shook his head with a smile and decided it was probably time she went to bed.
The rest of the guests were just beginning to disband as she settled into the spare room, all thoughts of the party already leaving her as she fell into unconsciousness.
When morning came, complete with a chorus of birdsong and sunlight filtering through the curtains and falling across her face, Jada wished it would piss off. She squinted at the traitorous gap in the fabric, before hauling the covers over her head with a groan. It had been so long since she last got the chance to go out, she’d almost forgotten hangovers existed.
Eventually, she’d managed to pluck up the courage to face the infernal sun, changing into her spare clothes before heading downstairs to see what the breakfast situation looked like in The Manor.
She wouldn’t have been surprised to find a professional cook slaving away in the kitchen, but instead she was greeted by Ubi’s ever-cheerful grin as he scrambled some eggs, while Morgo seemed thoroughly invested in the newspaper he held before him.
“Morning,” Ubi greeted her, prompting Morgo to look up and give her a nod. “How d’you like your eggs?”
She returned Morgo’s nod with a small smile, before replying. “Uh, scrambled, I guess.”
“You were right,” Ubi grinned, turning to Morgo and depositing the eggs onto his plate.
Morgo simply raised his eyebrows at his housemate, before returning his gaze to the paper. “Of course.”
Jada stretched, sitting opposite Morgo at their small wooden table and rubbing her forehead.
“Ubi, will you get the remedy I prepared from the cupboard above the sink, please?” Morgo requested, still not looking up.
Ubi did as he was asked, handing a small black vial to his friend, who in turn held it out for Jada.
“Take that. It’ll stop the pounding in your head.”
Jada thanked him, taking the vial and popping the cork out of it. Immediately she was hit with the smell, which she could only guess was the scent of some kind of offal. “Ugh, what is it?”
“Just a few herbs, really. I’d say it won’t taste as bad as it smells, but…” She thought he smirked, “Probably best to down it in one.”
She glanced to Ubi, who gave her a reassuring smile. After sighing in resignation, she tilted her head back, trying not to think about the horrific sludge that was passing over her tongue. She spluttered when she finished, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
“I hope those eggs are nearly done,” she croaked.
She’d earnt a smile from Morgo, while Ubi chuckled, turning back to his pan. “Just a minute.”
Morgo’s gaze remained on her, and after a moment he folded his paper up and set it down, intertwining his hands over it. “What time do you expect to be back home, then?”
“I told Jim I’d be back as soon as I could,” she replied. “Didn’t want to be away too long.”
“Of course. And are you planning to drive yourself?”
She nodded. “’Soon as I can.”
Morgo turned to glance at Ubi, who seemed to be watching them out of the corner of his eye. “Well I’m glad you gave no solid timeframe. That will make things much easier for us, I imagine.”
Jada frowned, her headache worsening. “You what?”
Morgo was back to leaning on the table again, his gaze becoming intense. “You’re adopted.”
Jada snorted at the absurdity of the comment. “You know, I’m really glad you felt the need to tell me that. I’d have had no idea otherwise,” she retorted sarcastically. She caught Ubi’s smirk, though Morgo seemed unamused, so she added, “D’you think I don’t know that?”
“Did you never wonder who your parents were?”
“No.”
The two seemed surprised at her answer.
“Why not?” Morgo asked.
She shrugged. “They didn’t want me; why should I waste a single thought on them? Life doesn’t really work like in the films, you know.”
Morgo’s expression softened. “Your mother did want you. She cared about you very much.”
She felt her eyebrows raise in challenge. “And you would know?”
His eyes dropped, his fingernail beginning to scratch at the paper underneath his hands. “I didn’t know her very well. Not at all, really. I only met her once, in passing. The day I saved your life.”
Jada scoffed again. “You what?”
Morgo’s eyes returned to her face, his words suddenly coming very fast. “Your mother was killed in a fire. She was staying in an inn in the capital, and you were with her. We were trying to keep an eye on things, to make sure everything was all right. When I saw the blaze I knew I had to go in, that I had to do something. It was too late for your mother, and I’m sorry for that, but then I found you. She’d doused your crib in water, it seemed, which gave me just enough time to get you out. Naturally, I couldn’t keep you here with us, though Ubi tried to argue with me. So we found a nice orphanage for you-”
“Orphanage?” she interrupted. “What is this, the Victorian era? It’s called an adoption centre.”
“My apologies-”
“And what am I, anyway? Fucking Harry Potter? My parents were killed, but you managed to save me in the nick of time? Yeah right, and the next one.”
Wearing a quizzical expression, Morgo turned to Ubi, who shrugged. “She doesn’t believe you, basically. I told you it would have been easier to keep her with us.”
“I can’t believe you’re buying into this shit, too,” Jada scowled. “Is this some sort of stupid joke?”
“No, no,” Morgo said. “I promise you I’m completely serious. I saved your life, gave you to the authorities in this world to be properly adopted, and then Ubi’s been keeping an eye on you recently, until now.”
“'In this world'?” she repeated. "What are you actually fucking talking about?"
Morgo sighed in exasperation, rubbing his brows. “You were born in Albion, which is in a separate world to this one. Now, if you’d just co-operate, we’d get through this much faster and then you can go on your merry way.”
Jada crossed her arms, still scowling, but said nothing.
“Very good. Now, since I saved your life, you could say you owe me a favour.” Jada wasn't sure she agreed, but Morgo was looking at her expectantly, seemingly waiting for her retort. When none came, he sighed again. “What do you know of the Arthurian legends?”
A moment passed, before he gave a sound of frustration. “You can talk now.”
“I did a few projects on them in high school,” she replied with a bitter shrug. “But I don’t see what this has to do with anything.”
“Well you wouldn’t, would you?” Morgo retorted.
Ubi snickered, causing the two of them to look back over towards him, still scrambling some more eggs.
Morgo turned back to her first. “How did they end, the legends?”
Jada sighed. “Arthur’s killed by Mordred, at the Battle of Camlann.”
“Not killed, mortally wounded,” Morgo corrected.
“Fine. Arthur is mortally wounded by Mordred at the Battle of Camlann. Because the distinction is so important.”
“It is,” Morgo countered. “‘Mortally wounded’ implies that Arthur was not yet dead when he was taken to Avalon.”
“So?”
“So, I need you to make sure he doesn’t die.”
What little patience of Jada’s remained now vanished. “And how the fuck am I supposed to do that?”
“You need to find a way to heal him. Luckily for you, I know just the right way. But you’ll have to use magic, of course.”
“Magic? You realise that all of this makes absolutely no sense, right?” She turned to Ubi for help. “Is he on something?”
“Nope,” Ubi replied. “Magic is real. You might not have realised, but you come from a long line of magic users, dating back for more than four hundred years.”
Jada changed her focus. “Are you on something?”
He grinned. “Nope. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed anything yet.”
“She’d have had no need to,” Morgo interjected, calling Jada’s attention back to him. “But now you do. I’m sending you to study under Merlin. You’ll learn the basics of magic there, but after that you’ll have to move on to a more difficult school of study.”
Jada laughed. “Oh yeah? And will I be going to Atlantis for dinner, as well?”
Morgo seemed unamused, so she changed her tone as she rose from the table. “Look, I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, but I am not going to Camelot to learn how to use magic to save a fictional king, all right? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m busy.”
She turned on her heel, ready to head out the door, pick up her keys, and never return to this house again. Behind her she heard Morgo rise, his chair scraping against the tiles.
“Morgo, we can’t make her,” Ubi said. “If she doesn’t want to, there’s nothing we can do.”
She was in the hallway now, about to retrieve her coat from the rack that Ubi had hung it on as the kitchen door behind her swung open again. She was grateful she’d thought to move her bag with the rest of her belongings by the door already. A smooth escape would have been so much more difficult otherwise.
She bent to pick it up, purposely paying no heed to the figure behind her as she did so, until he said something that she did not expect.
“Swefe nu.”
Before Jada could turn to even frown at him, she felt her legs buckle beneath her as the floor rushed to meet her. The last thing she heard before unconsciousness took her was Ubi’s voice of indignation:
“Morgo!”
Chapter 2 ->
#out of the ashes#bbc merlin#merlin fanfic#merlin fic#merlin x oc#or it will be eventually after a long-ass slowburn lmao#writing#idk if there's anything else i should tag i've never posted my own writing to tumblr before eep#maybe the characters? even though they're ocs? i guess that will help my organisation at least#jada thorburn#morgo#ubi#jim eltridge#izzy tamez#emily thorburn#chapter one#in case youre brand new here btw and not a quotev migrant whos already read this#there are like 72 chapters for this book#and then i'm about 70+ chapters into the second#and i am FOR SURE not even remotely close to halfway yet#so this technically is a wip i guess? even though the first book is completed?#but there's a lot of content at least before we catch up to the parts im still actually writing#just thought i should give a heads up#okay thats so many tags now bye
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