#Maybe I should make a different blog though I really wanna answer these kind of questions in a different character

[thehollygrayelle]

Is this seriously what you want to do for the rest of your life? Isn't there something you dreamed of doing when you were young?

…Holly stares out into space for a long moment, wistfully gazing into the distance, lost in thought, mulling over that wonderfully profound question…

…M’Yes, it is. and no, there is not.

she says as nonchalant and sincerely as she can.

[jj-one]

HATE YOU

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: enemies to lovers ? (sorta one-sided tho), college au, fuckboy!jungkook x f!reader genre/tags: smut, angst, alcohol usage, dirty talk, lowkey perverted!jk, fingering, piv, unprotected sex (oof), drunk sex, public sex (reader & jk do it at a house party), riding, video recording **pls don’t do none of this irl LMAO words: 2.7k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Hate is a strong word— at least that’s what people try and say. You meant it though, it was a word you didn’t use lightly. Especially when it came to your opinion on 99% of the male population at your school. You couldn’t stand most of them, they all just wanted one thing. Getting into your pants.

You despised hook-up culture with a passion and it didn’t help that most guys who tried talking to you were all the same. You had a special hatred for a particular individual the most though— Jeon Jungkook from your physics class. He was the most arrogant, conceited, egotistical person you’ve ever met your whole life.

Every class he would have a different girl with him wrapped around his arm, walking him to the door like he’s some kind of royalty. The way almost every girl would swoon over him just because he’s good looking was baffling to you. Yeah he may have a pretty face but does that cancel everything else out? Of course not. You’ll never understand why these women would choose to go after someone like him, you felt embarrassed for them honestly.

“Jungkook, meet me after class I’ll be waiting for you!” Some girl shouted through the door to get his attention.

He was sitting two seats from you, looking at his phone while paying no mind to the obvious screaming being directed to him. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous.

“Hey y/n, what’re you doing tonight?”

That voice startled the hell out of you. Who gave Jungkook the right to even be speaking to you right now? Looking over in his direction, you give him an empty stare.

“Why do you care?” You said harshly.

It makes no sense why he would even try talking to you, you’ve never given him any indication you liked him.

“Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he chuckles, “you should pull up to my party tonight!” You wanted to almost physically gag at the wink he just gave you.

“I’m good.” You shut him down quickly and try moving on but he doesn’t let you off that easy.

“You sure? The whole schools practically gonna be there, you don’t wanna miss out on all the fun do ya?” That annoying smirk on his face was really starting to irritate you.

“I said I’m good, I’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties.”

“I think you got me mixed up with someone else, my parties are always lit. If you have a change of heart though, I’ll make sure to show you a real good time.”

You scoff, utterly disgusted by his last comment, just about everything he said had sexual undertones to them. His humor was weird and extremely perverted which heavily pissed you off. You couldn’t wait for this class to be over.

“We’re almost here!” Yuna exclaims in the passenger seat.

You were in the back with two of your other friends as you were headed to a party. You weren’t totally up for partying tonight but ultimately your friends were able to convince you to go. You don’t even know where the party is but maybe it’s good to get your mind off things.

“Oh, by the way who’s party is this?” You ask suddenly as Lisa pulls into a driveway.

The car got silent for a second, no one answered your question. It was a bit odd to you the way they all froze up.

“Actually… it’s Jungkook’s party���” Lisa finally spoke, her eyes kept trailing away from you.

“What the fuck? Of all places you choose to go you pick him?!” You felt so betrayed.

They really drove you all the way here just to trick you into coming and now you have no escape plan. They all begged and pleaded for you to suck it up and let loose for just one night. You finally agreed but only under the condition that you want to be far away from him as possible.

“Why do you even dislike him so much? You would think he had murdered someone or something!” Your friend asks.

“I just think he’s a pretentious asshole that doesn’t deserve all the hype he gets.”

They just shrug your opinion off and get out the car. You huff as you open the door and head to the party with the rest of them.

You instantly felt claustrophobic once you go inside. There were crowds of people everywhere. Jungkook was right, everyone at the school was practically here. Loud rap music was blaring through the speakers, red solo cups scattered the floor, people getting sloppy drunk or stoned; the perfect stereotypical house party.

You haven’t seen him yet so that was a good sign and you go up to the kitchen to get drinks with Lisa. 20 minutes pass by now and Lisa was left out of your sight. You have no idea where she could’ve run off to and now you have to search the place to find your friends.

Heading outside into the backyard, your balance was becoming unstable from the alcohol in your system. You were taking shots of Hennessy back to back and it caught up to you faster than you could blink. You sat down on one of the lawn chairs since your head was starting to feel really heavy. You felt a sudden tap behind your shoulder and hear a voice that even when you’re drunk, you can sense with disdain.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t little miss ‘i’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties!’” Jungkook teases while coming from behind you.

“Get the hell away from me!” You lean away from him to leave you alone but he only came closer.

“This is my house so I don’t need to go anywhere, if anything I think I should kick you out for being so mean to me.” His face inched towards yours further, putting you in an uncomfortable position.

You don’t know why your body felt paralyzed though, it was probably just from all the alcohol inebriating your mind.

“You know, I never understood why you actually hate me. I never hurt you did I?” He says, slightly cocking his head to the side.

His tattooed hand landed on your knee, just planting it there while keeping strong eye contact. You couldn’t speak for some reason, it was as if an enormous lump has formed and got caught inside your throat. He looks down at the skirt you’re wearing and bites his lip, playing with his lip ring.

“Why aren’t you talking? You usually have a lot to say to me, why so quiet now sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?” He continues speaking in that condescending tone of his and you’ve had enough now.

“I fucking hate your guts Jungkook, I absolutely despise you. You’re a cocky, perverted fuckboy that needs to be humbled and finally put in your place!” You snap back at him while pushing his hand away.

“Woah girl chill out, that was a bit harsh don’t ya think? Also, I’d love for you to put me in my place any day.” Yet again, he never fails to make a sexually charged comment.

“You’re disgusting, seriously get help!” You attempt to get up from the lawn chair but he pushes you back down.

“You know, I’ve always liked my girls a little feisty. I find it hot when girls yell at me.”

Either this man has a humiliation kink or is just plain stupid— either way you don’t want to be anywhere near him but he wouldn’t let you leave.

“Please just go away Jungkook, I don’t want you in my sight anymore.”

“Really? Because if that were true then you would’ve been left already,” his hand went to stroke the side of your hair “seems like you really don’t want me to leave.”

His other hand went back to your knee again but slowly trails up to your thigh and goes under your skirt this time. You were surprised within yourself that you were even letting this happen. He leans in to your face, being just a few inches away from his lips. You became almost in a trance by those pink, pillowy lips. You don’t know what came over you but you grab his face and messily kiss him. The movement of your lips colliding and syncing together as he deepened the kiss. He sensually touches your thigh while you moan into the kiss and he squeezes your thigh tightly in response. Looking around to see all the people still here when you pull away from him; you can’t fathom you just made out with Jungkook in front of all these goddamn people. You just lost all respect for yourself.

“You know I’ve always secretly had a crush on you y/n?” Jungkook admits, “I kinda like it when girls are mean to me. Or maybe I just like it when you’re mean, I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Let me show you how mean I can get then.” You reply, staring up at him with hungry eyes.

That cheesy grin never leaving his face as he hears you speak. The tension only grew thicker and he wasn’t about to waste another second.

“Sit on my lap.” He uses his hands to maneuver you and leans back in the chair.

You drunkenly stumble on top of him, feeling him against you. Your body heat raised through the roof but this time you were sure it wasn’t because of the liquor. You straddle his lap as you go back to hastily making out. His wandering hands kept slipping down to your ass to squeeze it and you were starting to feel dizzy from the way he was kissing you. You feel his touch under your skirt to play with you some more, not caring if anyone’s looking at this point.

“I don’t think we should be doing this.. not here at least. Too many people.” You say when pulling away from his lips.

“I really don’t give a fuck, it’s my party let them watch. Let’s put on a good show for everyone, yeah?”

You know this goes beyond against every moral you’ve had before. You’re about to do the one thing you told yourself that you’d never do.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Agreeing to go along with his narrative.

He lets you in charge now, letting you have full control over the way you get to ride him. You push your panties to the side and he undoes his pants to free his fully hard member. You didn’t realize how much of a nice cock he has, it was well groomed and had the perfect size/width.

“You have a really pretty dick, must I say.” You still can’t believe these words are being said to Jungkook.

“Thanks baby, I can’t wait for it to be in that pretty little pussy of yours.”

He drags two of his fingers down to your core and swipes in a circular motion, smearing the wet slick as he watches your mouth open wide with pleasure. His digits sink into your cunt harshly, pushing them deeper and deeper.

“Fuck! Your fingers feel too good…” you hid your face in his shoulder as he splits you open.

Your eyes hung low and your mind was hazy. Unable to think straight, you just wanted to feel Jungkook inside of you already.

“Need to fuck you nowww!” You yell, almost sounding a bit whiny.

“So do it then cutie. Come fuck yourself on my cock.”

He withdraws his digits out of you and licks the juices off them one by one. His grin would only get wider as you lowered yourself on his cock. You were so soaking wet you sunk down on him easily while resting your hands around his shoulders to brace yourself a bit before moving. Once you regain focus you slide up and down on his shaft nice and slow; making him bite his lip, moan, and curse under his breath.

“Your pussy feels so good… so tight… fuck..” his mind was going blank as you pick up a steady pace.

You were so out of it by now that you were bouncing on his cock in a frenzy. He roughly thrusted his hips back into you while you sloppily rode him. The way he filled you up felt like you were in heaven. You open your eyes for a second, forgetting that you were at a party. Almost everyone was looking at you, some people even took out their phones to record the scene in front of them. It was probably all the alcohol you drank but you didn’t even care anymore, you continued savagely riding him. You’re moaning louder as you slam down into him harder, pulling his body closer to yours. He loudly grunts from your walls aching around him, his cock was throbbing so intensely he felt himself wanting to burst already.

People were beyond shocked to see this happening, it was a wild party but they weren’t expecting all this. You try not to pay attention to everyone and focus on Jungkook so you can make yourself cum. Then out of nowhere, he spontaneously lifts you up while you’re still on his cock. Engulfing those large hands on your ass cheeks to keep you balanced and thrusts into you deep while he’s standing up. You had your arms wrapped tightly around him, you weren’t too scared of falling since he had a strong grip on you. You were taking his cock with each harsh stroke he gave, screaming out his name over and over so the whole party could hear it.

“Fuck yes Jungkook! Keep fucking me just like that, you’re so good!!” You could feel yourself coming close and so does Jungkook. Wet strands of sticky hair cling to his face from all the work he’s putting in, his eyebrows furrowed to concentrate solely on making you cum.

“Gonna cum on this cock for me baby? I feel you getter tighter ‘round me.”

“Yess, wanna cum on your cock so bad please!”

He was hitting all the spots in you just right, the slight curve of his shaft fit so perfectly in your core. Your mouth was back to being jaw locked again, feeling the heat wave of your orgasm coming through. It hit even harder when you were drunk, you felt like you were going to fall out of his arms but he noticed you slipping and pulls you up into a firmer grasp. While shutting your eyes you feel your release take over, cursing and moaning his name repeatedly like a broken record.

“I’m ‘bout to cum ….” He pulls out of you and sets you back on the lawn chair, “look up and open wide for me.”

You open your mouth eagerly for him, he gives his cock a few pumps before releasing his white creamy load into your mouth. You swallow every drop of his cum and stick your tongue out for him to show your empty mouth. He smiles at the pretty sight of you and goes in to kiss you once again.

“This is fucking insane!” One of the random people at the party says.

You recognize the person since they’ve been watching you from the start. To say that you and Jungkook left everyone at that party speechless was an understatement.

“You know people were taking videos of us right?” Jungkook says cautiously.

“Yeah… it’s probably going to end up all over social media now, if it hasn’t already. Oh well, like I care!” You shrug nonchalantly.

Oh you’ll definitely care when you sober up.

“Let’s get outta here?” Jungkook zips his pants back up and takes his hand out for you to grab.

You hold onto him and balance your wobbly legs to stand up. You were both severely drunk but he held his liquor way better than you did. For the rest of the night, the party continued and you ended up finding your friends. They soon found out about you were doing and how you fucked Jungkook in front of everyone there, they were all completely taken aback. You went from hating his guts to him destroying yours— guess that’s one way you can end a burning hatred for someone.

[electric-cross]

I Saw Your Blog

Pairing: Chris Motionless x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk

Chris and the reader are close friends. Chris sees the readers blog and feels bold enough to make a move. Romance and smut ensue.

It was almost midnight. You had been texting your friend, Chris, for hours. This went on nearly every day. No matter what the two of you were doing, you always found time to text. Sometimes, you’d even talk on the phone or facetime with one another. He’d become one of your closest friends, and if you were being completely honest with yourself, you’d developed a pretty serious crush on him, as well.

Chris was almost home from a two month tour. You hadn’t seen him in person since before it began, and you were already making plans to hang out once he was home.

“So, I’ll be home on Friday, and we should be able to hang out this weekend,” the text read.

“Okay, awesome. Do you want me to come to your house, or do you wanna come to mine?”

A short silence, then your phone buzzed, once again, “Can we hang out at my place? I’ve just been away for so long, I always look forward to spending time at home.”

“Of course we can. What time do you want me to come over?” you responded.

“Does seven work? We can order in some dinner, if you want.”

“Sounds good to me. What are you in the mood for?”

“Not sure. We can decide on Friday. So what are you up to? Still scrolling through Tumblr? Lol.”

You laughed, “Yeah, you know me. Are you ever gonna use yours again?”

“Not sure. I haven’t used it in like, a decade or something, but you never know. I do like stealthily checking your blog, though. You always have interesting things to say in your tags, lol.”

“Lol, yeah, I can get carried away sometimes, but isn’t that what Tumblr is for?” you answered.

“Haha, yeah, I guess it is. That may be why I left it behind. Some people are a little unhinged.”

You typed, “Yeah, that’s very true, but I’m one of those people, so I have no room to judge, lol.”

“I don’t know if you’re as wild as some people on there, but I’ve seen you allude to some pretty intense things before,” Chris replied.

“What intense things?” you asked.

“Well, sometimes you seem to be yearning in the tags of romantic and sexual posts, so I definitely think I’ve learned some things about you, lol.”

You tensed a bit. You knew that Chris could see those posts, but you were unsure if he knew that it was always him that you were talking about. A part of you wished that he did, so maybe he would make a move on you, but at the same time, you were afraid he’d figure it out and be disgusted by it. You weren’t sure how Chris felt about you, and you were too shy and nervous to ask.

“Oh yeah, well, we all crave it, right? I guess I’m no different than anyone else.” you tried to respond casually.

“That’s very true. If I had a private Tumblr, I’d probably post the same kinds of things that you do,” he texted back.

Feeling a bit brave, you decided to probe further, “Oh? Got your eye on someone that you wanna pine for in the tags? Lol.”

“Lol, definitely.”

Your heart sank. For some reason, your first instinct was to assume that he was talking about someone else and now you were getting confirmation of that. Your crush would go nowhere. You’d been relegated to friend and friend only. However, after that brief moment of sadness, a voice in your head said, “Well, what if it’s me? Could it be? I want to find out, but what if I make a move and then he actually was talking about someone else? Shit. Gotta tread lightly.”

“Oh, wow. I had no idea. Who is she?” you replied cavalierly.

“Well, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. ;)”

“Haha, well, I think I can fend for myself, so spill! Unless you just don’t want to. It’s really none of my business, but I am curious.”

Suddenly your phone lit up. Chris was calling you. You felt your heart skip a beat, once again. You pushed the buttons and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hey,” you greeted him, “Did you get tired of texting or something?”

He laughed, “No, it’s just that I thought that this conversation would go better if we were actually talking. Plus, I’m finally alone now, so I don’t have any distractions or eavesdroppers.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. So what’s up?”

“Well, it’s about the conversation we were just having,” he answered.

“I kinda figured,” you laughed, “What did you want to tell me?”

For a moment, there was silence on the other end, “Chris?”

“Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just trying to think of how to put this.”

“Well, I’m sure any way you put it will be fine, so you may as well just be straight forward.”

“Okay…” he began, sounding nervous, “Well, I do like somebody. It’s just that, I don’t know how this girl feels about me, especially when I know for a fact that she’s already interested in someone.”

You paused, “Oh, well, um, I guess you should just tell her. Maybe she’d be interested. If not, I guess the worst she can say is no, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m really good friends with this girl, and I’d hate to make things weird between us. I guess I’m just debating whether or not it’s worth it to go for it,” he said.

You scoured your brain trying to think of all the single women that you knew Chris was close with. You thought of a couple that you weren’t sure about, but your mind still wasn’t willing to entertain the idea that you could be the girl that he was talking about.

You gathered some courage and spoke into the phone, “Chris, you should just tell her. You never know if it’ll make things weird, or if you can still be friends, and plus, you could end up with a girlfriend. You never know.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re right. It’s just hard, you know?”

“Trust me, I know. That’s why I pine on Tumblr, instead of going on dates,” you laughed.

He laughed in return, “So you get where I’m coming from.”

“Totally. So who is it? Maybe I can help.”

There was another moment of silence over the phone before he finally answered, “Fuck it. Might as well just go for it… It’s you.”

You felt your heart freeze, once again, rendering you speechless. After a few moments of silence, you heard Chris say your name, wondering if you were still on the line.

“Yeah?” you replied sheepishly.

“Did you hear what I said?” he asked.

“Yeah… I did. I’m just making sure that I heard you correctly.”

“So what do you think?” he asked, “Is it gonna make things weird between us, or is there any possible chance that you might feel the same way?”

You paused again, “Chris, who do you think I was talking about in all those tags on my blog?”

“Was it me?” he asked.

You smiled, “Yes, it was you.”

“Seriously?” you could hear the joy in his voice, “You’re into me?”

You laughed, “Yes, I am. I have been for awhile now. I was just too chicken to say anything.”

He sighed, “I know what you mean. I’ve been wanting to tell you how I felt for awhile, too. I just had myself convinced that you were talking about someone else and that I’d only be wasting my time and making a fool of myself if I were to tell you.”

“I get that. I never had any inclination that you liked me, so I kept my mouth shut for pretty much the same reasons.”

There was another pause before Chris spoke, “So, what does this mean? Do you wanna go out sometime?”

“Yeah, I do. What about Friday? Can that be our first official date?”

“Yeah, I’d love that. Do you wanna go out somewhere, or did you still want to just hang out at my house?”

“We can hang out at your house. It’s cozier. Maybe if it goes well, we can have a second date at a restaurant or something.”

“Okay, good. I can’t wait to see you.”

You smiled again, “I can’t wait to see you, either. Just two days, though. I think we can make it until then.”

He laughed, “Yeah, we can make it, but don’t think I won’t still be texting you non stop until then.”

You laughed with him, “Oh, I expected that. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Okay, good, and I’ll be checking your blog too to see what else you have to say about me until then.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll see plenty. I’ll try to keep it PG though.”

“I’d rather you didn’t. I like the more salacious things you post.”

“Oh, really? Well, then I guess I’ll have to post as many things about you as I can.”

“I’d love that. I’ll check in on it tomorrow, but for now, I really need to get some sleep. The bus heads out really early tomorrow so I gotta try to get a few hours in, but I hope you post some things about me tonight that I can read tomorrow.”

“Absolutely,” you began, “Get some sleep, and I’ll make sure you have plenty of things to read tomorrow. I’ll talk to you soon, Chris. Good night.”

“Alright, talk to you tomorrow. Good night,” he responded before you both hung up.

You sat in your bed, grinning from ear to ear. You couldn’t believe it. This was actually happening. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours, so you decided to kill time the way you knew Chris would appreciate. You opened the Tumblr app, and began blogging away, posting things in the tags that you knew only Chris would know was for him.

After an hour or so of carefully curating posts for your new romantic partner, you decided to flip off the lights and try to get some sleep. As you had predicted, it was proving to be most difficult. Your mind wouldn’t stop racing. It was on a constant loop of replaying the conversation in your head, along with daydreaming about what was to come on Friday. Eventually, slumber took over, and you managed to get a few hours of rest.

The next morning, you awoke to find a missed text from Chris, “Hey, so I’m on the bus, and I’ve been killing the last couple of hours just scrolling through your blog and picking up on all the things that were about me. I gotta say, I’m extremely flattered, and it makes me desperate to see you. Especially after last night. ;) I hope you slept well, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

You grinned at your phone, wasting no time in replying, “I just woke up. I gotta get ready for work, but I just wanted to let you know that I got your text and I’m glad you’ve been having fun with my blog, lol. I’ll talk to you later today, alright? I hope you have a good day. :)”

“Okay, baby, text me when you get off work. I hope you have a good day too. <3”

Your heart fluttered. He called you baby. You couldn’t believe that this was all happening so fast. Not that you were complaining, however. Your body went into auto pilot as you prepared yourself for the day. You knew your mind would be preoccupied all day. You weren’t sure exactly how much work was going to be accomplished, but you weren’t too concerned. 

After what felt like an eternity, the work day was finally over. You made your way home, got yourself a drink, and made yourself comfortable on the couch, turning the TV on for background noise as you excitedly picked up your phone and texted Chris.

“Hey, work is finally over. Can you talk now?”

You waited a few minutes before getting a reply, “Hey. Sorry, kind of busy getting ready for the show tonight. Can I call you when we’re done?”

“Of course. I’ll be around.”

“Okay, great. Sorry sweetheart, it’s gonna be a few hours, but I can’t wait to talk to you again.”

  You smiled, “Take your time. I’ll be just as excited to talk to you later.”

You sat your phone down and watched the news, scrolling through Tumblr, adding a few more posts for Chris’ benefit. Eventually, you made, ate, and cleaned up dinner. Then, spent the rest of the evening watching interviews of Chris on youtube. You loved the way he spoke. He was such an eloquent and articulate speaker. You could watch videos of him all night, which you had on more than one occasion.

Finally, your phone lit up. Chris was calling you.

“Hey,” you greeted him, “How was the show?”

“It was awesome. I think we did pretty well for our last show of this run. What are you up to?”

“Oh, just hanging out at home, watching youtube, nothing too exciting.”

“Oh, yeah? I wish I was there with you, but hey, at least I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your heart started racing, “I know. I’m so excited to see you. It feels like it’s been forever.”

“It really does. Especially after the conversation we had last night. It feels like time is moving at a snail’s pace.”

You chuckled, “Tell me about it. Less than twenty four hours until I see you, and it still feels like it’s taking a lifetime.”

Chris laughed with you, “I know, but at least I get to talk to you now.”

“Well, I can’t talk too long, I do have work in the morning, you know.”

“That’s true. I won’t keep you too long. I just really wanted to talk to you.”

“I really wanted to talk to you, too. Especially after you called me baby in that text you sent me this morning.”

He laughed again, “Oh, yeah. Is that okay? Or is it too soon for that?”

“I don’t mind at all. It made me pretty happy. I know we haven’t even had our first date yet, but I have a feeling this is heading to the point that you’d be calling me baby anyway.”

“Yeah? You think so?” he asked.

“Yeah, I do. Do I get to start calling you baby now, too?”

“Sweetheart, you can call me whatever you want.”

You grinned, “Good to know. Now tell me about the show.”

You spent the next hour or so asking Chris about the concert and making plans for what to eat and what to do the following night. Eventually, you couldn’t hide your yawns any longer.

“Getting sleepy, baby?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you’re not too. You’ve been up longer than I have and you put on a show. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Eh, I’m a little tired, but nothing too bad. I think I’m still running on adrenaline from the show and from talking to you. I’ll probably crash soon, though.”

“Well, make it sooner rather than later, I want you well rested for tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah? Am I gonna need a lot of energy?” you could hear the playfulness in his tone.

You laughed, once again, “Well, I don’t know about that, but you never know. Either way, I don’t want you half asleep on our date.”

“You make a good point. Maybe we should both get some sleep then.”

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay. Night, baby,” he said sweetly.

“Good night, baby,” you responded in a similar tone.

You hung up the phone, turned off the TV and headed for bed.

The next morning, you awoke and immediately picked up your phone. You didn’t have any missed texts. Chris must have still been asleep. So, you thought you’d beat him to the punch this time.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I hope you slept well. Have a safe trip home, and I’ll see you tonight! <3”

You sat your phone down and got ready for the last day of the work week. A couple of hours into work, your phone buzzed in your purse. It was Chris.

“Hey baby, I slept great. I hope you did too. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Have a good day at work! <3”

You smiled, placing your phone back into your purse and getting back to the task at hand. A few more hours passed and you received another text from Chris letting you know that he had made it home. You replied with a quick acknowledgement and got back to work. The day dragged on at an excruciatingly slow pace, however. You thought you’d never be off, when finally, the clock struck five. It was finally time to leave.

You rushed out to your car and drove home. You ran through the house to your bedroom and picked up the outfit that you had set aside for the occasion. You freshened up and did your hair and makeup, pleased with the result, especially in combination with the outfit you had changed into. You sprayed on some perfume and took one last look in the mirror. This was the best you’d looked in awhile, and you were pretty pleased with the outcome.

You glanced at the time, and realized it was time to be heading out. It wasn’t a particularly long drive to Chris’, you did live in the same town, after all, but you still didn’t want to be late. You stuffed your phone into your purse and grabbed the keys hanging on a hook near the front door and made your way out to your car. You decided to listen to some Motionless during your drive, just to amp yourself up even more.

After about fifteen minutes, you were finally pulling up to Chris’ house. You felt your heart skipping and you had a lump in your throat. To say you were nervous was an understatement, but that didn’t deter you one bit. You made your way to the front door and rang the bell, waiting for him to answer. After a few moments, the door swung open and you were greeted by the man you were expecting to see.

“Hey!” he said before pulling you into a hug, “You’re right on time.”

You pulled back, “Yep. We said seven so I made sure to be ready.”

“Well come on in,” he said, stepping to the side to allow you entrance.

You entered the residence that you had been in many times before, taking your shoes off by the door. You made your way into the living room and took a seat on the couch, Chris following close behind.

“So I already ordered the food, but can I get you something to drink?” he asked.

“Sure, I’ll take some water.”

“Be right back,” he replied.

You looked around the living room, taking in the unique touches that Chris had decorated his home with. Drawing in a deep breath, you steadied yourself for what was to come this evening. Before you knew it, Chris had returned with two bottles of water and took a seat next to you, handing you your drink.

“Thanks,” you said, taking a sip.

“No problem. So how was work?”

“Ugh, boring. I was too focused on coming here tonight.”

Chris laughed, “Yeah, I was practically counting the minutes all day. I’m so glad you’re here.”

You smiled at him, “So am I.”

The two of you sat, smiling sheepishly at one another.

“So, this is our first date…” he said, breaking the silence.

“It is. I hope it’s not our last one,” you responded.

“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be.”

“Good,” you said, smiling again.

The two of you sat in close proximity, gazing at one another. You could feel the electricity in the air as the two of you began to close the gap. Your face was mere inches away from his, when suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“Oh, the food’s here. Damn, that was fast,” Chris said, getting up to answer the door.

You took the moment to collect yourself. You had been so close to finally kissing him. You could almost curse the delivery person at the door. After a moment, Chris returned carrying bags of food.

“Ready to eat?” he asked.

“Actually yeah, I had to skip lunch today so I could definitely eat.”

He took his seat next to you once more and began assembling the contents on the coffee table, “Why’d you have to skip lunch?”

“Oh, just too busy with work stuff. It happens sometimes.”

“Gotcha. Well, I hope you like what I ordered. It’s the same thing we got the last time you were here.”

“Awesome,” you replied while gathering up your food.

The two of you ate and chatted about Chris’ tour and your work and just life in general. Nothing too serious. Even still, you were enjoying yourself immensely.

After you finished eating, Chris cleaned up the remnants and handed you the remote, “Here, pick a movie.”

“What do you feel like watching?” you asked.

“Whatever you want. Maybe something horror?”

“Sounds good to me.”

You scrolled through the endless streaming services as Chris finished cleaning up dinner. You finally landed on Trick ‘R Treat, a movie you knew Chris loved.

He came back into the living room taking his seat next to you, “Trick ‘R Treat, huh? Can’t say I’ve ever seen this one.”

You laughed, “Oh yeah, that’s why I picked it. I wanted you to see something new.”

He laughed with you, “It’s a good choice. We don’t have to watch it just because you know that I like it, though.”

“Hey, I like it too. Plus, it would probably be advantageous to pick something we’ve already seen so we can still talk and not miss anything.”

“You make a good point,” he said, wrapping an arm around you and settling in for the movie.

You nuzzled into his side and focused your attention on the movie beginning in front of you. The movie played for at least half an hour without a word from either of you. You were desperate to try and kiss him again. You contemplated making the first move for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, you worked up the nerve to slide away just enough so that you could face him. His head turned and he caught your gaze.

You were exceedingly nervous, so you simply smiled shyly at him. He returned your grin and before you knew it, he was placing a hand softly on the side of your face. You felt as though you could melt beneath his touch. Your brain had no time to register what was happening as Chris leaned down slowly into you, caressing your lips with his in your very first kiss.

You pressed your lips into his, savoring the softness of his lips. Your mouths worked in unison, dancing with one another. You could have kissed him all night. After a few minutes of light kissing, you felt Chris’ tongue sweep across your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. You gladly parted your mouth and met his tongue with yours. Your tongues lapping against one another as the kiss grew in intensity. It wasn’t long before Chris had his hands tangled in your hair.

Feeling bold, you placed a hand on his thigh as you continued kissing. Chris gently nipped and sucked your bottom lip giving you all the encouragement you needed to slide your hand up his thigh until you were lightly gripping his cock over his pants. He moaned softly into your mouth as one of his hands left your hair to press your hand even more firmly into his crotch. He moved your hand so that you were rubbing his cock through the material. You could feel him growing hard beneath you.

Soon, you were taking the lead and rubbing him with no assistance. Chris’ hand now on your waist, working its way under the hem of your shirt. He kissed you with fervor as his hand slid upward to caress your breast over your bra. You barely had a chance to take in the sensation before Chris was pulling his hand and lips away from you.

“Come on,” he said standing up and pulling you with him until you were cradled in his arms, “I want the first time I fuck you to be in my bed.”

You felt the blood rush through your system. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You’d dreamt about it. You’d blogged discreetly about it, and you knew he knew that you had been waiting for this.

Chris carried you into his room and laid you down on his bed, the softness of his pillow catching your head. He wasted no time towering over you and kissing you vigorously. His hands roamed up and down your body as his mouth moved with yours. You pulled at his shirt until he sat back on his knees and removed the article of clothing. You stared at his heavily tattooed body, feeling lust begin to wash over you. You couldn’t get your clothes off fast enough.

Chris tore your shirt off and made haste with your jeans. You didn’t give him a chance to start with your underwear as you were too busy undoing his pants and pulling them down, leaving him in just his boxer briefs. He could see the hungry look in your eye, and placed his thumbs under the waistband or his underwear and pulled them down his legs, freeing his cock. Your eyes grew wide as you watched him bounce out of the material. You couldn’t stop staring. You couldn’t even hide it, and you didn’t care. 

Chris didn’t seem to mind either, as he gave a slight chuckle and asked, “Like what you see?”

Your eyes still didn’t leave his cock, “Love it,” you replied absently.

He laughed again, “Okay, well, now it’s my turn to see you.”

With that, he was pulling your panties off, leaving you in just your bra, which didn’t stay on much longer, either. Chris pulled you forward and busied his hands with unclasping the material at your back and then pulling the garment off of you, leaving you both completely naked.

“Fuck…” he said, his eyes roaming your body.

You thought he was in some sort of trance momentarily and you began to move toward him, finally feeling bold enough to make the next move. However, your plans were thwarted when Chris wrapped a hand around your throat and pushed you onto your back.

“I’ve seen the things you post about, baby. I know what you want me to do to you.”

Your cheeks flushed hot, and you almost felt embarrassed. You bit your lip and broke eye contact.

“No, don’t get shy on me now. I know what kind of girl you really are, what you want from me. Now take it,” he said, applying more pressure around your throat.

You felt your pussy clench at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you wanted someone this badly. You subconsciously spread your legs.

Chris noticed your motions, “See? That’s my good girl. Spread your legs nice and wide for me.”

You fought back a small moan as Chris towered over you once again, his body pressed against yours as he kissed you roughly, his hand tightening even more around your throat. You could feel his hard cock pressing against your thigh. You wanted it. Wanted him.

You wrapped your legs around his waist as if begging him to fuck you. He took the hint and pulled away from you. You took in a deep breath as his hand left your throat to open the drawer of the bedside table. He pulled out a condom and immediately tore the package open. You watched hungrily as he slid the condom onto his cock.

He adjusted himself on top of you once more, “Normally, I’d take my time with you baby, and I promise I will next time, but I need you too fucking badly right now.”

You merely nodded in response as you felt him lining himself up with your entrance. Chris took one last look in your eyes, pressing his forehead against yours before he slowly slid himself inside. You let out a small gasp as you felt his entire girth stretching you open. Your eyelids fluttered as you composed yourself.

Chris seemed to need a second to adjust, as well. After a moment, he began to rock back and forth inside of you before kissing you again as he continued. You kissed back feverishly, and wrapped your legs around him once more. He wrapped one arm beneath the small of your back and pulled you slightly upward into him. The two of you moaned into each other’s mouths at the new angle. He was still moving slowly, but he was hitting that sweet spot inside of you that made your toes curl.

It wasn’t long after that he pulled himself from your lips and wrapped his free hand around your throat again, cutting off slight circulation. He stared intently into your eyes, watching for any slight change. He began bucking his hips more forcefully, filling the room with slapping sounds. You could hear how wet your pussy was getting. You let out a slightly louder moan.

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” he asked, still fucking you.

“Mmm, yes.”

“Yeah? You wanted me to fuck you, pretty girl?”

You arched your back as you felt Chris’ grip on your throat tighten, “Yes. Wanted you to fuck me so bad…”

Chris moaned and quickened his pace, “I know, baby. I know exactly what you want from me.”

You moaned louder as Chris grabbed at your hip and throat and practically slammed you into him. He was so much bigger than you. You thought he might break you, and you didn’t care in the slightest.

“Mmm. Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

“Fuck yes…” you responded wantonly.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“You feel so fucking good, Chris. Fuck…”

Chris moaned louder, “That’s my good girl. That’s my good fucking girl…”

His grip on your throat tightened until you were sure he would leave marks. Good. You wanted the reminder that you were now his. The thought spurred your lust even more until you were writhing and moaning beneath him, arching your back into him and trying to soak up as much of him as you could.

“Oh, fuck. You feel so fucking good, baby. I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long…” he moaned.

He picked up the pace and gripped you harder. You could feel yourself getting close.

“Oh my god, Chris. Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” you whined.

“Yeah? Is my good girl gonna cum for me? You wanna fucking cum, sweetheart?”

You closed your eyes, “Oh, fuck, yes!”

You felt Chris’ lips crash onto yours, kissing you hungrily, swallowing your moans. He never stopped fucking you. Your pussy felt like it was on fire in the best possible way. You felt your cunt clamp down on his cock as he bit your lip before trailing over to whisper in your ear.

“Cum for me, baby. Let me hear you.”

“Oh! Fuck! Mmm…” you began cumming.

Chris moaned into your ear, causing you to cum even harder, “Oh fuck, that’s my girl. That’s my good fucking girl…”

You were just starting to come down from your orgasm as you heard Chris hit his, “Fuck! Ohhh… Shit.”

Your legs were trembling around his waist and your hands had fallen to your sides. Your whole body felt like jello and you weren’t sure if you were even able to move at this point. You felt Chris slow to a stop and you could hear his shallow, jagged breath by your ear. After a moment, he let go of your neck and placed a kiss where the bruises were beginning to form.

Eventually, Chris pulled himself out of you and removed the condom, tying it up and throwing it away in a trash can he had near the bedside table. He moved next to you and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, collecting himself and steadying his breathing.

“Fuck. That was well worth the wait,” he said, breaking the silence.

You smiled at him, “I think so too.”

Chris smiled back, “So, does this mean you're my girlfriend now, or do you want a few more dates first?”

“Do you want me to be your girlfriend now?” you inquired.

“Yes. Very much so,” he laughed.

You giggled, “Okay, then I’m your girlfriend.”

Chris smiled widely, “Good.”

Before you could respond, his mouth was on yours, once more. A lighter, sweeter kiss this time, but passionate, just the same. You kissed for a few moments more before Chris pulled back, turning to lay on his side, and pulled you flush against him, spooning you.

You lay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company and processing all that had just transpired when Chris said, “I’m so glad I stalked your blog.”

You laughed, “Give you some ideas, did it?”

“Definitely. Oh, and don’t worry. I know there was a lot that I didn’t get to this time, but I promise I’ll cross everything off your list very, very soon.”

You laughed once more, “Okay, good. I promise to learn yours too and do them for you as well.”

He returned your laugh, “Maybe I should start using my blog again so you can learn about my kinks too.”

“No way,” you began, still laughing, “If you’re gonna copy me, at least make a private blog that only I know about. We don’t need your fans knowing about the slutty things we do.”

“Okay, I promise it’ll be private, but it’s gonna be filthy.”

“I think I can handle it,” you replied.

“Oh, I’m sure you can if yours is any indication of how nasty you are, sweetheart.”

You giggled again, “What can I say, I know what I want.”

“Yeah, so do I, and I plan on showing you,” he said as he rubbed his hand up and down your hip.

You ground your ass against his cock, daring him to get hard again, “Can’t wait, baby.”

[moonsofmachinery]

So this isnt a pride req but you still don't have to answer!! But how do you draw so quickly?? I swear you draw like 2-4 times a day? I wanna get on a really good schedule about that so I can keep up with a art blog but idk how to draw fast! How'd you do it?

I hope it helps If I go over my entire process here because I've been wanting to showcase my process for awhile anyways :}

Haha! Yeah, i usually try and draw ~4 things min a day. Now, let me clarify, to run an art blog you don't have to draw fast! I do try and take breaks if I need them!!! But a lot of my speed has to do with the fact I've just been in a very art-inclined mood as of late :} It's a lot easier to draw if you WANT to draw! and knowing people like my stuff is a huge motivator.

Long post below where I explain my process and some of the shortcuts I take!! :]

For more skill-based tips though, my method definitely helps. Drawing lineless and paying attention to my stabilizer helps a lot. I'm definitely not a perfectionist when it comes to my art and I do tend to reuse poses I KNOW im comfortable with if I'm not in the mood to go all out.

I sketch freely with loose stabilizer using a pencil-like pen that allows me to get a good idea of the details I want down... Ex:

I have a very good grasp on the way i draw slugcats and how their bodies are shaped! Depending on the characters you're drawing, you should try drawing them a TON to get to a point where you can sketch them without even looking at a ref of any kind. My designs tend to stay consistent as I have a solid idea of each slugcat in my mind! It helps me pace myself as I generally don't need refs! :}

Next, I blot out my main body shape. I then, using a clip layer, add in lines and line in limbs! Generally I do this all in the same colour, get the main shapes down before you add detail and all that...

I blot out different regions of my character in different colours and section off areas to ensure I can later select these and go over them! Doing lineless helps me a ton as I don't use a lot of layers! it's just the style im more used to :}

Lastly, I add in my colours and adjust places where I can adding in all markings and details and recolouring where I need to! I use the selection wand to help me and I also use clip layers.

The details are relatively easy for me, most of the time its just getting to doodle whatever I want to make the colour combo look the best I can!!! :} The final result of this one will be posted on its own, but I just use CSP tools to add an outline-- I'm not sure if you use Clip Studio Paint, but if you do, you can use the effect feature!

Its just a little thing I add to make my drawing pop against the background!!!! :D

Anddd thats how I pump out art at an inhuman rate! Drawing is one of the few things I can do without my chronic pain kicking my ass so a lot of my day is spent at my computer cozy n' arting! Drawing for too long does cause fatigue in anyone though! I reccomend listening to something engaging in the background (if your attention can take it) and taking regular breaks every ~15-30 minutes.

This piece took me 30 minutes?? maybe a little more! I hope this gave you what you were lookin for :D!!!!! I wish u well in ur art blog n' make sure not to stress urself!!!!!

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

[sh1-n0bu]

MOMMY NOBUUUU /p i need someone wise’s advice !!!!

i like to make silly looking “art” (i don’t even consider it real art, it’s more like memes/doodles) (like the ms paint art style, that looks a bit like pixel art and also looks sketchy and simple) and i CAN’T DECIDE if i should make an account to post it??? i really want to but i know NOTHING about ig and its algorythm (even though i did use to have disney and anime fanpages with a decent amount of followers when i was, like, 14). i don’t wanna end up with an account with like 2 followers cuz what if affects my self esteem and the way i view art hsjsg ???? i like my cringy artstyle but.. idk im probably overthinking this AGHH

yk it’s just that when i was a fan account it wasn’t my art so it’s not like i got offended if people didn’t like/comment/save. with things i created it would be different i think??? i’ve been wanting to make an art account for YEARS and i just got into the artstyle (i had a “normal” artstyle before) but wait wait lemme try to link the pics

(hope they work)

so this is the first thing i’ve ever drawn in this style https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-AJt9jSnPo1Enyg4B8Dnm0HMYeFIhxYX/view?usp=drivesdk

and then it just kept going. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-I8x_U-9_ZVwpPE6aDAWlW0ApEuJ2r5Z/view?usp=drivesdk

and going (yes that’s a gyaru trying to talk to a golfball and yes it’s a remake of this meme https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/d6udnl/why_wont_it_move/)

and then i saw this. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-1qO6MbBOo51PK-jhMltsnpfCb0yTGV2/view?usp=drivesdk

and i went “this is so hsr main trio” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-5MwpEQLIFx_iLdif6R9o66Xc2HW5vjw/view?usp=drivesdk

this is cursed, i’m aware.

then i started making these https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-60FA9_FROx2c0SQrzh1RXOXxm7tFl5G/view?usp=drivesdk

you have NO IDEA how many of these i’ve made. because idk either. all i know is that in three days i had made 20+ of them (which may sound like it’s not much, but for me and how little i used to draw it’s a lot)

and now i REALLY want to make the account but i’m TERRIFIED bc what if no one likes that kind of cringy stuff?????

i’m literally so sorry to bother you with this /gen it’s just me overthinking stuff as always :/ don’t feel pressured to answer me ofc!! <3 also i rlly rlly hope things are going better for you! sending love and support <33

gratefully yours

breaker anon~~<3

MOMMA NOBU HAS ARISEN /j j j j

first, those arts are fucking GORJUS my sweettums. as someone who has lost the ability to draw, that is beautiful. i used to think of becoming a free style painter or to learn how to draw digital but somewhere along the way i just gave up and decided to simply settle on writing instead. even now, when i see art tiktok or recommendations of compilation videos on yt, i feel a bit of an ache in my chest. its just there, y’know?

second, i think you should do for it. maybe try opening up an account on a platform ur incredibly familiar with. perhaps tumblr? or even ig? or even tiktok works too! just any platform you feel safe and comfortable and know how to navigate is good.

and yeah, i can def say felt to the “it will make my mental health worse if i only get 2 likes or smt” bc same same same. i try to write good and capture the characters’ personality correctly while keeping the fic ‘alive’ only to end up with like,,,, hundreds of likes but no feedbacks or reposts or smt LMAOOO

as for a single tip i would give is to expect everything. not everyones going to like ur content and they will suddenly crash into ur inbox talking abt how they hated this fic or smt of yrs bc it was disgusting or not their thing. that has happened to me like,,,, 3 times???? i think?????? and and!!! be sure to do a bit of research beforehand, me thinks. see what kind of attention you would get when u start to post on ur page or account.

honestly, i started this blog as only reposting blog. but then one day my very first 🦝 anon came and i decided, why not write a thirst thought i had with friend and see how it goes? and it just spiraled from there.

main thing is, have patience and love what ur doing. don’t burn urself out over it too much or else what u used to love will end up being what u hate and take good care of yourself sweettums<3

[landofzero-archive]

Rouge&Ruby - Epilogue 2

(Location: Starmony dorm kitchen)

(A few days later.)

Hiyori: Look, look. Our chocolates are still going viral on social media.

They're trying to find a way to preserve them just because they look so wonderful, even though the chocolates taste so good.

Nagisa: ...... The fans do think up curious things. What'll come of preserving them?

Jun: Maybe they just wanna keep them as a reminder~?

I saw a blog post about someone writing their impressions of Chocolat Fes on the very same day.

Seems like that person had wanted to record everything they felt on that day in writing, so they wrote the blog post with all their heart.

Hiyori: That sounds like a sort of preservation too? It's like everyone is carving their feelings for Chocolat Fes into their hearts and it makes me so happy♪

Nagisa: ...... The atmosphere in the venue after Eden's stage had ended was so impactful. How should I describe that atmosphere?

Hiyori: It was as if everyone had entrusted their hearts and bodies to us, like they were in a trance? Even though it was similar to our usual lives, it was a little different……

Jun: It was the kind of atmosphere that can only be felt during Chocolat Fes— So it was something that could only happen on Valentine's day~

That’s definitely the best answer ♪. Don't you think so too, Ibara—

Ibara: ………

Hiyori: What's with that face? We're talking about the Chocolat Fes that happened just as Ibara had envisioned. So, shouldn't you be making a more cheerful expression?

Perhaps I should say; Ibara's the one who should be talking about this, right?

Ibara: —Unlike the rest of you, I’m properly busy using my hands!

I mean, Your Highness was the first person to bring it up, weren’t you? Something or other about wanting everyone in Eden to have a normal Valentine's day experience......

Why am I making homemade chocolates even though Valentine's day is behind us?! I still can’t comprehend it!

Nagisa: …… Isn't it because Hiyori-kun wanted everyone to have a normal Valentine's day experience?

Ibara: Isn't that exactly the same as what I’ve just said? I demand a proper explanation, Jun.

Jun: Eh, so you're taking it out on me. Even though I'm standing right next to you and helping Ibara out seriously.

Ibara: That's to be expected. Lately it seems that His Excellency has taken up an interest in cooking and gained some experience in it, but he doesn't have much experience in making sweets. As for His Highness—

Hiyori: I'll be casting a magic spell so that everyone's chocolates will tu~rn out delicious......♪

Ibara: He's that sort of person. It turned out this way because Jun never lets him help out.

I've been compiling as many detailed recipes as I can find so that I may entrust the work to His Excellency.

Nagisa: ……. I've already mastered mixing ingredients together until there are no lumps.

Ibara: As expected of Your Excellency! It really is so helpful that you are a fast learner! Now I would like you to combine what you've just mixed together!

The next step is to wrap the combined ingredients in a plastic wrap and leave them to chill in the refrigerator! Please work on putting these things together!

Nagisa: ……Mm, I got it♪

Jun: Wow. Unlike Nagi-senpai, who is interested in cooking, it seems like it'll go much faster for me if I cook by myself.

I did think about at least letting him cut up some chocolate bars for me, but the thought of that person holding a knife is really scary......

Hiyori: ?

Jun: ……I mean, it's not like there's a lot of stuff to explain.

I didn't even realise that Ibara got over that wall by himself. When I sucked it up and finally went to consult Ohii-san about it......

Neither Ohiisan nor I knew anything about what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like. We realised then that Ibara and Nagi-senpai must be the same way.

Since we were going to make an appearance in Chocolate Fes, the conversation turned to how everyone in Eden not knowing what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like is a problem......

That's when the “Normal Valentine's Day Experience Plan” plan started.

Ibara: ...... If it was intended to be for Chocolat Fes, isn't it strange that the plan is being executed after the event had already ended?

Hiyori: That's because we were sooo busy with work for Chocolat Fes. We didn't have any time.

So I'd like you to make extra portions of delicious chocolates to celebrate the success of Chocolat Fes too♪

Ibara: Haah……

Hiyori: By the way, when the chocolates are done, we've planned for us to participate in a simulation of giving and receiving chocolates.

That's why everyone has to put in as much affection as possible while making them......♪

Ibara: Haa~......?

Jun: Ah~ sorry. That's my fault too.

Since I only know about Valentine's day from shojo manga, I made Ohiisan read the manga too.

Seems that he really wants to experience the feeling of wanting to give and receive chocolates and the fluttering feeling that comes with the experience.

Ibara: Do you really think that you're going to get that fluttery feeling by doing an exchange between unit members?

Jun: Maybe you'll at least feel a little warm and fluffy? Who knows?♪

Ibara: —Honestly, it feels like I've gotten myself into a troublesome plan. I'm still quite busy with Chocolat Fes-related work, you know?

Due to the overwhelmingly positive responses and reviews, I have received a variety of requests lately.

Nagisa: …… Then, that means that Ibara's Chocolat Fes is still on-going.

Hiyori: In that case, won't this “Valentine's Day Experience Plan” fit perfectly? Even Eden's Valentine's is still on-going......♪

Ibara: This situation and that situation are not the same.

Jun: …… Yet even though you keep groaning about it, you're still making the most elaborate designs out of all of us~

Nagisa: …… What are you making? Yours look the most delicious, so I'm curious as well.

Ibara: Mine don't just look delicious, they're actually the most delicious of the bunch. I'm even making them look as aesthetically pleasing as possible.

I have no intention of losing even when it comes to making sweets!

I hope you are all looking forward to it......☆

Hiyori: Since you're saying that, I can't wait to see the final product♪

Nagisa: …… Mm. I'm looking forward to eating it.

Jun: Ya know, there isn't supposed to be any element of competition in this Experience Plan......

Ah well, I guess greedily aiming for the top in any situation is just an Ibara thing.

—All right. I'll make my own chocolates pretty and enjoy Eden's Valentine's with the guys~♪

Previous | Directory

[did-i-do-this-write]

Oh cool!!! I feel like I should maybe read about your characters if Imma keep doing this, but honestly I like consuming this content by just slowly building a story based on this ask game. Character development is my favourite part of writing personally <3

Anyways, I'm now at 17% if you wanna answer it (I should probably plug this thing in lol)!

And I forgot if this is similar to a question already on there or not, but if your character made a playlist, what would it be called and what are the first three songs on it (If they're the type of person to make 500 billion playlists which one would they listen to the most often)? This is very random, but I always will hear songs and be like "oh so-and-so would so listen to this" and I have learned the hard way that your music taste tells a lot about you (if you ever get mysterious kind messages from your friends for no apparent reason there is a 63% chance that they found your Spotify or whatever and are concerned for your mental health)

Don't feel pressured to read back or anything! I have a lot of posts on this blog and it can be hard to find what you're really looking for. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about them or provide links to old posts with more specific info if you are interested 🤗

As for your next percentage question!

17%. Does your character ever put someone else's needs in front of their own? And If there are only rare exceptions, why is that the case?

Nic has lost so much in her life, she tries very hard to look after herself first. She had to adapt, especially after she lost her parents. She does grow very close to the team throughout the story, though, and by the end, they are literally the only six people on Earth that she would put before herself. They are the first people who looked after her, helped her, and genuinely didn't want anything in return when she had nowhere else to go. It took some time, but they won her over eventually.

And I love music headcanons! So for your second question:

What would the title of your character's playlist be? First three songs on it?

I think that Kay would have 8 million playlists for all of her different moods and obsessions. Her most listened to one would be something like "I have no idea what I want to listen to, but everything on here is a bop"

Demons by Imagine Dragons

Mr. Brightside by the Killers

Long Road to Ruin by the Foo Fighters

There is absolutely no genre cohesion on this playlist.

This ask motivated me to write 176 words for Home is Where Your Light Shines Brightest.

Experiment Total: 59,191

[ugly-anastasia]

I posted 451 times in 2022

That's 186 more posts than 2021!

83 posts created (18%)

368 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@prince--thomas

@toby-determined

@kouros-herc

@oh-heartlessman

@maryxoliver

I tagged 451 of my posts in 2022

#tom - 58 posts

#toby - 56 posts

#inspo - 49 posts

#thomas - 46 posts

#herc - 42 posts

#hercules - 22 posts

#howl - 21 posts

#ken - 18 posts

#elinor - 16 posts

#swynsta - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#this is like definitely not what the reading would be this week but i legit could not find any source telling me what it should be so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Off The Record | Anatoby

When Toby told Annie that the final edits were done and the story would run the next morning, Annie had felt euphoric. Her first real story! Not that she didn’t think her columns were real writing, of course. They took work and effort and research. But this was different. This was special. This was the culmination of a lot of research, and an entire stakeout, and, well.. Annie had actually had a lot of fun with it. It had gotten her through a really rough time this summer, this project and doing it with Toby.

So she had suggested getting drinks the following evening to celebrate. Their first story together. Maybe there would be more in the future, even.

But by the following evening, everything was different.

Annie had expected Dian and Elena to be upset, of course. But not the entirety of Swynlake (or so it seemed). Didn’t people like celebrity gossip? Since when was everyone rushing to the Princess of Avalor’s side to defend her against some reporters exposing a romantic scandal? Maybe they just didn’t like Annie... That was the thought that did kind of hurt...

Still, she kept her promise to meet up with Toby at Tiana’s Place. Honestly, she could kind of use the company of someone who, like, kind of understood. She put on a nice dress and did her makeup, but everything looked just a little bit off— evidence of a day spent furiously replying to DMs and fending off Twitter callouts.

“Toby!” Annie said, smiling with relief when she saw him. “Thank god. How’re you holding up?”

[outfit]

@toby-determined

26 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

Work Bestie | Anatoby

Annie didn’t have to come into the office all that often, because she was a freelancer who only put out one piece a week (and that piece was usually pretty easily edited). But her editor wanted to talk more in-depth with her about the editorial schedule for the spring, and Annie wanted to make a good impression, so of course she came in. 

She did, however, feel a bit awkward about it, because she didn’t know most of the other staff. So when her meeting ended and lunch rolled around, Annie hovered uncertainly in the hallway. She hated feeling out-of-place. But she didn’t want to just leave without being seen either. But then she saw the perfect answer-- that funny little man, Toby Determined.

“Hey, friend!” Annie said, sidling up to his desk. “Had to come in for a meeting today. Wanna get lunch? Catch up? It’s been too long!”

[fit check]

@toby-determined​

26 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#3

Candid Camera | Andrakina

For once, Annie felt relatively accomplished. She had fired off the email to the neighborhood that morning before taking Jaxson and Harlynne to school and daycare, and now she planned to have a productive morning working on her column and maybe doing a bit more research for her project with Toby. So it wasn’t until she pulled into her driveway and saw two figures at her door that Annie’s mood shifted.

At first, she was panicked. She considered calling the police right then and there, because it seemed the Order had sent more henchpeople to come stake out her house! But then she looked closer. And she realized-- oh. It was just her deranged neighbors. 

“Can I help you!” Annie announced loudly, crossing her arms and smiling, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She supposed she had told her neighbors they were free to reach out to her with any questions. So she should at least put on an appearance of friendliness. Even if it was... Sarina and Drakken.

[outfit]

@dr-drckken​ @accendimi​

27 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#2

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood | Kourmaine

After her conversation with Sheriff Clayton, Annie was feeling more ready than ever to give South Swynlake Homeowners and Renters Together (working title) her full attention. Well, all of her attention that wasn’t already focused on chasing around two young children, keeping up with the increasingly frequent prenatal appointments, and getting her column in on time every week. But she kept it in the back of her mind, and so when she was outside supervising Harlynne and Jaxson’s very adorable snowball fight and saw her (very handsome) neighbor out shoveling snow, Annie just had to say something.

“Hercules Kouros?” Annie said, flipping up her sunglasses over her fuzzy headband. She remembered him from secondary school-- talk about a glow up!-- and she didn’t know how he felt about her now, but that wasn’t going to stop her. “Funny running into you out here! I didn’t know you lived in this neighborhood!”

[outfit]

@kouros-herc​

29 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Annie On The Street | Open

Annie’s only job at the Squire right now was still her column. And she didn’t really need interviews for that— usually, she just wrote from the heart, as she told her editor. But ever since that exposé had been published, Annie had been itching to expand her reach. Maybe she could get some real stories, stories of her own, if she proved that she could do it! And since Annie believed very strongly in working with what she already had, she was going to beef up her column with some interviews.

Election season was the perfect opportunity for that!

“Excuse me!” Annie said, approaching someone passing by. “Annie Tremaine, Swynlake Squire. I’d love to chat with you about the issues that matter to you in this election!” No, she was not going to ask if they had a minute. If you wanted something, you had to demand it.

[outfit]

38 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[folkloreguk]

French Class [7]

A/N: AAAH I apologize in advance for this part bc I feel like it's kinda messy :/ I hope you still like it though?? Lmk what you think! x

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, angst, H/N is a jealous and drunk fool :/

words: ~ 3.7 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @yeostars, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon, @tr-wemoon, @prismwon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek, @r-eadings

H/N’s POV:

Maybe I’ll come ‘round, your text had said. How did you expect him to enjoy the party if you wouldn’t be there? H/N used to make fun of guys who ran after girls like lap dogs. And yet, over time he had become one of them, if not worse. Every text, every possibility of seeing you had him on the edge of his seat in excitement. There was nothing he cared about more than spending time with you. When at first it had been sexual attraction – an obsession with your body and the way you turned him on with the most subtle words and touches – it had changed into something entirely different. The relentless hunger was now occasional, ever so often interrupted by a dire wish to see you smile. A wish to hold you, and to kiss you out of the blue – something he wasn’t allowed to do if it wasn’t for the two of you hooking up. The stupid agreement you had made was starting to feel like torture instead of heaven. He was lucky his poker face was professional, and he had years of practice in flirting and sounding casual even if his heart was beating up to his neck. There was no other way he could have concealed how infatuated he was with you, otherwise.

“H/N, come help me set up the snacks!” Korain shouted from the kitchen. H/N’s friends were throwing a party at their place, and he had shown up early to assist them in preparing everything. With you on his mind – as always – he trotted into the kitchen where a row of bowls was standing out on the counter.

“Just open and pour the bags into the bowls, will you? I still need to get ready,” Korain said. “Chohee said she might be here a bit earlier, and I don’t want to look like this when she’s going to look amazing.”

Korain gestured to his bed hair he probably hadn’t brushed once since getting up and then tweaked the fabric of his sweatpants and his old, baggy tee. H/N wanted to argue that if Chohee really liked Korain, she wouldn’t mind seeing him this way. H/N, for one, couldn’t care less what you wore tonight. As long as you showed up at all, he would be beaming. Strictly speaking, at times when he got to see you wake up, sleep in your eyes and your clothes in a disarray, it spun his head in ways no little black dress could ever do. When he saw you make breakfast in his kitchen, in his shirt, he could barely contain himself.

His daydreams of you were once naughty and gave him boners at random times of the day – and don’t get me wrong, they still were, sometimes – but it was when the domestic dreams had begun, that he realized he was screwed. He didn’t need anybody to tell him how he felt, nor did he have some crazy moment of clarity. There came a point in his days where he didn’t just notice his non-sexual daydreams of you, he invited them. His brain was imagining things like setting up a shared table for dinner or kissing the back of your hand in the dark of a movie theater or playing you a cheesy song that reminded him of you. He wanted to hold your hands from across the library table and have his arm around your shoulders to show you off to the entire campus. But none of it could be real. It all went against the rules.

“Will Y/N be here too?” Korain asked and pulled H/N out of his daydreams. God, I hope so, he thought.

“She said she might be here,” H/N answered.

“Chohee’s always talking about her. And you. About how she thinks Y/N has a crush on you, but she always denies it, saying you’re just friends. Maybe you could try and bring that up tonight?” Korain said, as if discussing your feelings for someone was as easy at conversing about the weather. “Alright, I really have to go get ready now.”

“I’ve been thinking, I might- “ said H/N, but Korain only pat his shoulder.

“Let’s talk later, at the party, okay?” he said, and walked out the kitchen. I might like her, H/N had been meaning to say. I might like Y/N. No. I’m in love with her. No maybes. He could bet all his money on it, that’s how sure he was. But his friend had disappeared and now it was on him to wait until the party began. Left alone with his thoughts.

Of course, you would deny having a crush on him. Because you probably didn’t, he thought. Wouldn’t you search for a smart guy, someone your mother would approve of, and someone who understood your endless talks of nerdy topics? Although sometimes he had no idea what you were on about, H/N was captivated whenever you gave him a lecture about something you had learned. And when he asked you to explain something one more time, you never hesitated, or judged him for it. Your kindness made his heart swell, and only when the first crowd of party guests arrived did he realize he had spent half an hour daydreaming about you. Again.

With the way he kept the front door in his sight at all times, one could have wondered if he was a highly wanted criminal on the run, afraid the cops could barge in at any moment. Some of the girls who tried to flirt with him even asked him about it, but he wasn’t going to confess he was waiting for the love of his life to walk through that very door. With little conviction he returned their flirting. He hated himself for the thoughts he had. Thinking that should you not arrive, he could console himself by taking one of the other girls home instead. They didn’t deserve to be used like that, but he was bitter and so, so in love with you. It was hard to pay any attention to the other girls at all, no matter how sweet they were being.

Flirting back at them, however, came to him as easily as the words to his favorite songs. It posed no challenge, like it did with you. When he had to try hard to make your cheeks heat up, or to lure out a shy smile instead of your genius, quick-witted remarks. There was nothing more exciting to him than to invent new ways in which he could make you flustered.

Right now, it was his turn to be flustered. Because his ex had approached him and was reciting some of her favorite memories she had of their relationship. “Remember our third date…the one that ended with us squished in that tiny dressing room at Victoria’s Secret?” she asked and blinked at him expectantly. He went along with her words and replied something not too direct, but still enough to make her giggle like a little girl.

It was his own fault she was so intent on talking to him. While you had been on your date with the economy-major-guy, H/N had tried to contact his ex again. In hindsight, he thought it pathetic and extremely stupid at that. Nothing would have come of it, anyway. Not while he felt the way he did about you. So it was only lucky his ex hadn’t been free that night. Then he had gotten dangerously close to drowning his feelings in the vodka in his kitchen. Thankfully he had refrained from this, too, because you had shown up afterwards and you had ended up having mind-blowing sex, and he knew for a fact that had he been drunk, he would have blurted out some crazy sentiments he would have regretted saying in the morning.

Sometimes he tried to signal you his emotions, ever so subtly. Waving off your claims when you called him the campus fuckboy or telling you he wasn’t really hooking up with anyone else besides you, it all was an attempt at making you see what he felt for you. He would tell you that you looked pretty, not just so you would understand he liked you, but simply because it had to be said. When he regarded you fixing your hair in the mirror with a frown, he could barely believe you didn’t know how beautiful you were. And he had gotten closer to you during sex. Whether it was voluntary or an instinct that came with being in love, he wasn’t certain. There was nothing like kissing away your moans while he fucked you into a mattress.

He was about to text you – the urge to see you getting unbearable – but didn’t want to sound clingy when you strut through the door. No slow motion or fan blowing your hair around dramatically would have made you look more perfect. The ridiculous pang he felt in his heart when he saw you hug another guy only reminded him of how whipped he was. He reminded himself that he had no right to be jealous. You weren’t his girlfriend, after all. When you then made eye contact with him and made a beeline for him, he was worried he’d be short of words. He needed to pull himself together.

“Hi,” you said, and your smile was magical enough to stir up the butterflies in H/N’s stomach. You pointed at the empty spot on the sofa between H/N and another guy you didn’t know. “Is this seat taken?”

“No,” the guy said, before H/N had time to speak, and the stranger smiled at you in a way that could only mean he wanted to get to know you. But H/N caught your attention by swiftly putting his arm around your shoulder, making the stranger back up and divert his eyes the other way. He had never meant to be the jealous type. It was just that you were finally here, and he was so happy to see you, he couldn’t bare the thought of you running off again. Only when you gave him a funny look H/N realized he needed to calm down if he didn’t want you to get annoyed.

“So, what did I miss?” you asked.

His ex was approaching from across the room again, and before he could have stopped his mouth, he said the stupidest thing. “Kiss me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but he was intent on it. “Please. Kiss me. Quick.”

There was a strange emotion that crept over your face, and you seemed to have no clue why he was so set on it. Nevertheless, you did as he asked. Your mouth tasted of watermelon bubblegum, so sweet, so perfect, and he was flying on cloud nine for the short while it lasted. It wasn’t real, though. The thought stabbed his brain like a dagger. When you pulled apart you were grinning, and his ex wasn’t in the room anymore.

“Care to explain why we just did that?” you asked. “You’re diminishing your chances with the ladies in the room.”

He rolled his eyes. “My ex has been trying to get with me again, and I hoped she’d let off if she saw us kiss. And she did.” Then his eyebrows raised. “What do you mean by my chances with the ladies? I was hoping we could go home together.”

“I can’t tonight,” you said, and he had to fight to keep his face straight. “I’ve got to get back to studying first thing tomorrow morning. I just came here to hang out, for a while.”

“Oh,” was all he could muster without sounding like you were ripping out his heart. It wasn’t even your fault. He would never try and get between you and your studies. But what if he could be there? What if he could be the one staying in bed, watching as you climbed up early to bury your head in books? He’d watch you through tired eyelashes, and you’d ridicule him for being so starry-eyed when looking at you. Later he’d bring you tea or coffee and remind you to take a break to eat. Was it ludicrous to obsess over something so domestic? He didn’t feel guilty for it.

All at once, your laugh pulled him out of his daydream, and into a funny story you told him. Over-consciously, he noted how your arm went around his shoulder lazily. And for a while you sat and talked. Occasionally a flirty remark slipped over your lips, and he would always return it. It was idiotic, but he was already worrying about how much he would miss you once you went home. Perhaps his plan of consoling himself with another girl hadn’t been so bad, after all. Just as he had finished the thought, a familiar face walked by and noticed him. The alcohol in his veins made her seem perfectly inviting as a distraction, for later.

“Oh, hey. Y/N, this is Minji,” he said, pointing at the girl. “Minji, this is Y/N. She’s…just a friend.”

Instantly, you removed your arm from his shoulder. There was hidden pain in your gesture, or was it merely wishful thinking on his side? Minji nodded and greeted you, but you only waved her off with a polite smile.

“I’m going to get a drink from the kitchen,” you announced, and before he could have stopped you, you had walked off. For a while he chatted with Minji, because he had no good reason to run after you that wouldn’t create awkwardness. His patience lasted approximately ten minutes. Luckily, a friend waved at Minji from across the room and she excused herself. Although he would never wish her ill, he was glad she was leaving.

Quickly, he made his way to the kitchen, where he found you talking to a guy. Without thinking, H/N smiled at you as he came up to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. He hadn’t meant to look so intimidating, and he hadn’t meant to be an asshole either. Yet, the guy across from you appeared scared and when you turned your attention to H/N, the guy slowly retracted into another circle of chatting people. Guilt crept in on H/N. He was tipsy, and although he knew his drunkenness wasn’t an excuse, it made him want you so much more. Perhaps it was also insecurity making him act crazy. There was always a glimmer of hope in the back of his mind, that you might just like him back. So long as you hadn’t confirmed the opposite, he would live in constant terror that someone else could steal your attention and make you theirs before he could.

“Come with me,” you muttered in his ear. Your hand was around his wrist, and he had no choice but to trot after you like a child. At first, he thought you were going to take him out the front door, but then you made a turn for the stairs. He didn’t need to be a fuckboy to know what it meant when a girl walked him up the stairs. From one second to the other, his mood changed into gleefulness. Had you changed your mind? The mere thoughts of what could happen upstairs could have given him a boner, had he pondered on them for longer. You said nothing, only driving him more insane by the second. The first open door was good enough for you, so you pulled him inside and closed it behind you. Smirking, he reached for your waist, ready to pull you into a kiss.

“Don’t,” you hissed, and he flinched at your angry tone. He kept his hands to himself, kneading them nervously. Shit. This was the clear opposite of what he had anticipated. The two of you had never fought, and hearing your voice, sounding so deeply upset, scared him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to make out- “ he said.

“I don’t mean just now. I mean…what is it you’re trying to achieve by acting all possessive over me in front of random guys? Pretending I belong to you? But the second a pretty girl is in front of you I’m just a friend, aren’t I? What’s that about?”

There was no explaining this, and he knew it. Yet, he would try, pathetically. “I just thought you didn’t want those guys bothering you.”

“I can handle a guy by myself, thank you,” you snapped. “If I needed help, I’d ask. Like you did. Apparently, I’m good enough to be used as an escape from your ex, but when hot Minji came around you wouldn’t even blink when I got up and left.”

“Usedas an escape?” he asked in disbelief. “You didn’t have to kiss me, but you did anyway.”

“That’s because I was trying to be a good fucking friend!” you yelled now, sounding over the music from the party.

“You used me too, don’t you remember?” he countered. “Or did you not show up on my doorstep after your terrible date so I would fuck you and make you feel better?”

You looked taken aback for a moment, knowing he was right, in a way.

“It’s like you’re always trying to get away from me, but you can’t,” he said.

“Oh, fuck you!” you said, every trace of guilt washed away. “Get off your high horse! Isn’t that the whole point of us? That we’re using each other for sex? Nothing more than that, right? If I walked out now, you could go and find the next girl in line to take over instead of me. Didn’t you try to see someone while I was chatting to the guy I went on a date with? It’s all about using people, isn’t it? If things with the guy had gotten more serious for me, you’d have her, ready for you. Don’t you think that’s a little messed up? Leading someone on like that?”

There was truth to your words. He had tried to find someone to date, should you have found someone too and your friends-with-benefits relationship had been over. But he hadn’t led her on. He had been honest in letting the girl know he wasn’t sure if he wanted anything serious. His chest was hurting, and the pain was only making him more furious.

“Yeah, I could have switched you for her,” he said coldly. Was he only trying to hurt you now? Perhaps, but you had hurt him first.

“Right, because that’s all I am to you,” you said, quieter than before.

“That was our plan! You’re my fuck buddy, nothing more!” he raised his voice now, tired of your empty words and signs. “You have no right to accuse me of anything when I’m playing by the rules. The rules you made. Maybe we should go back to the beginning. Start the game over. I don’t even know what we’re arguing about right now.”

“Start over?”

“Go back to when we were just horny for each other and nothing else,” he said, as if that would be possible. As if he could ignore the way your eyes shined, even in the dim light coming from the streetlamps outside. Like he could pretend he didn’t want to hold you and make you forget all about this terrible fight.

“Fine, let’s try,” you said, and he watched in astonishment, as you closed the gap between the two of you. When you tilted your head, he gave you permission by doing the same. When you kissed, with teeth clashing and exhausted sighs mixing up, he swore there were bombs going off somewhere in his head. Alarm bells, too. This was by no means a great idea. But what could have stopped him and his hungry mouth? He backed you against the wall and pressed you into it, hard. Before he had registered it, his hands were pushing up the fabric of your dress and you moaned, sounding so beautiful he could barely believe it. One of his thighs forced its way between your legs while he gripped your waist like his life depended on it.

But then, just as rapidly you had begun to kiss him, you pushed him away. His lungs felt tight when he noticed the affliction and confusion on your face. He wished he could make it go away. But he had caused it, so now his presence only made things worse.

“No- no, I change my mind. This is fucking stupid,” you said. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Y/N,” he said in a gentle tone. Somehow, it seemed that his careful voice hurt you most of all.

“I think we should stop. All of this,” you said. He was beginning to shake his head in disbelief, but you cut him off. “We said there wouldn’t be jealousy, but there obviously is. We should have stopped long ago.”

“But what about starting the game again, from the beginning?” he asked, too afraid of what you would say to even look at you. If you were going to rip out his heart you should have done so quickly, when he wasn’t paying too close attention.

“The game’s over. This is going over both of our heads,” you said. “I- I’m going to go home now.”

So this was heartbreak. H/N had never considered that it could be meant so literally. But he could swear that the muscle inside his chest was convulsing and shriveling as if you had stolen the blood that kept him alive right from his arteries. The pain was sharp like a thousand cuts had been inflicted on his skin, and he struggled for words like your words had taken every of his most elemental abilities.

“I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“No,” you said. “You’re drunk. You’re the one who could need someone to walk you home. And I don’t want you around me right now. Get home safely.”

That was it. No hug. No last, longing look. Just your words stabbing like knives and your ethereal beauty as you turned on your heel and walked from the room, leaving him behind, bleeding out by himself. What had he done?

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi! Could I get HC from the guys? 👀 How they would always react to catching the reader seeing them "badly", in addition to the fact that he usually avoids them, but with his brothers it is incredible and they feel bad because they think they do not like him.  But she actually likes them and she looks at them like that because she "studies" them to draw them and she is too clumsy and shy to talk to them, that's why she ends up avoiding them. Until finally he catches her drawing them with lots of hearts or maybe they'll find her notebook with lots of portraits of them.

It's kind of funny because when I study people to draw them, they think that I look at them with hatred xd maybe I should increase my glasses prescription

God, glasses are such a pain in the ass but I have to wear them. If I don't anyone within my near vicinity doesn't have a face. But why they gotta get dirty so easily???? Makes me wanna explode or something

TMNT Headcanons

The boys w/ a quiet reader who is fine with his brothers but acts cold around him and stares a lot

Michaelangelo

mikey couldn't describe his disappointment upon realizing that you didn't want to be friends with him

well, you never actually said that to him

but he was pretty sure it was the case

you'd never made an effort to be friends with him

stared at him an awful lot though, but there was always something off about your gaze when you looked at him

like you were sizing him up, scrutinizing him, like he was an opponent

it kinda worried him

to add to that, you didn't even attempt to look embarrassed when he caught you staring

you'd just stare harder

on your end it was quite the opposite

you always found the brothers fascinating and you LOVED studying their anatomy, you'd confessed this to Donnie early on and he happily indulged in your questions

and you loved how easily you got along with the boys

well, except for Mikey

but it wasn't for a lack of trying

whenever the orange sporting turtle came around your normally flamboyant personality crept back into its little corner and hid

any words of excitement that had previously been with you died in your throat

for the longest time you didn't understand it

and you hated not understanding things, so you turned to your only outlet

that's how you ended up with an entire sketchbook full of the youngest brother in vastly different styles and poses

you had a separate book for the others, none of them as detailed as this

and when you stared to analyze you'd fallen into a habit of not looking away when caught

by your logic, if you stared back hard enough he'd look away first or just assume you'd zoned out

he didn't

and on one hectic day you'd left your sketchbook open on the kitchen table in your rush to get to work

you hadn't even noticed the slip up until Leo texted you to let you know during your shift

instant panic

in truth, Mikey was the one who discovered the book upon waking up from his nap and he'd spent the next three hours analyzing every drawing

when you finally dropped in after work to grab your book the turtle was waiting for you with it in hand

he'd asked you if you hated him

you told him no and accepted your sketchbook from him

he was relieved and screaming excitedly, just in his head

"Do you maybe wanna hang out sometime?"

You sighed in relief and nodded

"If you're cool with it- you don't think I'm weird do you?"

"I mean- you are talking to a turtle..."

you lightly shoved his chest and smiled, although it faded within a second

"Oh hush, 10 o'clock tomorrow? I'll bring snacks."

he was so stunned he could only shoot you finger guns in approval

Donatello

Donnie genuinely couldn't understand your unease around him

he'd followed all the proper expectations of holding a conversation

he was polite and engaging

so why wouldn't you talk to him?

this boy has read so many social blogs to try and figure out what he was doing wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it

you were fine with the rest of his brothers, you'd stay up for hours laughing and gaming with them

you'd even sat still long enough to listen to Leo explain some old Japanese myth that he'd read about in a book

but with him it was always a quick, cordial greetings and farewells with bland small talk in between

Donnie had picked up pretty quickly that you weren't interested in any sort of interaction with him

and he convinced himself that that was okay

but that didn't explain the staring

he'd caught you in the act several times, eyes narrowed and locked on him

especially when you were alone with him in a room or just in the lair

the poor turtle just couldn't put his finger on it

then he caught you drawing, he noticed early on that you always carried a small sketchbook on your person but he didn't think much of it

and it wasn't so much that he caught you drawing, in fact, he wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't snapped at him while he was trying to do a sudoku puzzle

"Damn it Donnie! Stop moving! If I fuck this arm up one more time I'm gonna decompose!"

he'd quickly moved back into the position he was in prior

"sorry?"

but you'd gone silent again, occasionally glancing up from your work and running your eyes along his frame before looking down again

nearly twenty minutes later Donnie had finished the puzzle and it seemed as though you had finished your drawing

"Uh- can I ask what are you-"

"I'm drawing you but you kept moving your arm and making me mess up. You always do that when I draw you so every damn picture I have of you stays a sketch because you always come out looking like a fucking octopus."

He just stared

"Sorry, I uh- I didn't mean to explode on you like that. I'm just- I'm really bad at talking to you okay? It's so easy with everyone else but you've just gotta be so damn smart all the time and I worry that you'll think I'm boring so I just... don't talk to you?"

Donnie is stunned™

You refuse to show him the drawing until you can complete the line art and color it

But at least he knows that you don't hate him

Leonardo

To be completely honest Leo didn't mind that you were distant from him

You created an aura of calm when you were around and you always managed to distract his brothers while you were present

And he enjoyed the alone time

But after a few months that calm acceptance turned into jealousy

Not that he would ever admit it

He would just push it off and ignore it, that usually seemed to work

So why wasn't it?

And your obvious staring problem didn't help at all

Leo didn't spend much time considering his appearance but something about your gaze made him self conscious

And he hated that with a passion

Why was it that you could hold entire debates with his siblings? Even his dad for gods sake. You'd have hour long conversations on almost everything but whenever he tried to say hello you'd make up some lame ass excuse and scamper away

He just wanted an explanation

It appeared that the answer resided in your sketchbook

You'd left it open on the couch when Raph had called you away to spar with him

Leo very delicately flipped through the pages, careful not to disturb some of the polaroid pictures of his brothers

He was admittedly surprised to find pictures of himself among the pages

One of him in a handstand, another of him meditating, there was even one of him mid sneeze that you'd recreated with pencil and paper

The image of his eyes was the most startling, but the book held no polaroid of his eyes

You drew them from memory

And he was shocked when you returned to the room and didn't immediately panic

But that might have been because he didn't try to withhold your book from you

"It took me three months to color them, your eyes. I could never get the shade of blue just right."

"I'm gonna be honest with you y/n, I really thought you didn't like me."

You had the nerve to roll your eyes and follow it with a laugh

"I don't. I mean- I do but no, you just remind me a lot of myself and I haven't exactly figured out why yet. I thought that maybe if I drew you it'd be easier to figure you out..."

"Well did it help?"

You grinned

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

Raphael

If there was one thing Raph hated it was not understanding something that was right in front of him

which is ironic, as a much younger version of himself probably couldn't care less

and a part of him wishes he didn't care about it so much

he wishes that your blatant avoidance of him didn't upset him

but shit, it got under his skin better than any needle ever could

was it too much to ask for you to just tell him what he said or did wrong?

was he asking too much of you?

but on the same scale you'd never shown obvious dislike towards him, you were never rude and you sure as hell didn't talk shit about him to his brothers

you got along great with them

in fact it was getting more difficult to remember a time before you became a part of his family

he'd become so used to your presence that it no longer put him off when he found you hanging around the lair

but in another sense he was certain that you hadn't spoken more than three sentences to him in your time knowing him or his family

so what was the reason

several months in he finally caught onto the staring, your narrow, glassy gaze locked onto his body and refusing to look away

he stared right back at you

this annoyed you for several reasons

because within five seconds your very peaceful drawing session had turned into a staring contest and your eyes were getting VERY dry

then you exhaled in a half-sigh and looked back down at your paper

"Huh, I guess your head is more of an oblong shape..."

he took offense to this

"What tha' hell is that supposed t'mean?"

now your eyes held more of an amused silent judgement, you begrudgingly held up your sketchbook

"I'm drawing you, you fucking walnut."

"Oh..."

now you rolled you eyes and tossed the book to him, he nearly dropped it and fumbled with the pages

your annoyance was quickly growing

"Careful with that."

He flipped through the pages at a snails pace, assumingly because he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing

you had some real talent

when he looked back up at you he was wearing that crooked smile

"and here I was thinkin' that my eyes were just green."

Hope I was able to get this down pretty well! I really enjoyed writing this one! Thanks for the patience!

-Mars 🌠

[green-socks]

Endless Nights

Pairing: Benny Miller x gn!reader (no descriptions or pronouns)

Summary: You and Benny can't seem to get enough of each other's company. Could tonight be the night you find the courage to do something about that crush?

Words: 2,101

Warnings: Nudity but not the sexual kind, food/eating. Almost zero editing and a tired writer.

Notes: I don't always participate in Writer Wednesday, but when I do I take one look at the picture, get an idea and then go completely off the rails. Sorry. So the pic doesn't really have a lot to do with the rest of the fic but I hope that's okay. For this week's @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday, thanks for organizing it every week!

I had the idea for midnight shopping at the supermarket with Benny and then realized I didn't want the night to end there... So it didn't. I actually like this piece, even if it probably suffered a lot from my fast writing and non-existent editing. Reader is mentioned having shorter legs than Benny but other than that I think there are no descriptions or pronouns used of reader, lmk if I'm wrong.

MASTERLIST

You and Benny have been driving around aimlessly for a couple of hours already, taking turns in picking the music, and talking about this and that while sometimes falling into a companionable silence. It still amazes you how easy and comfortable everything is with him. You have never felt like this with a crush before, used to the feeling of always obsessing over what you felt like you could and couldn’t say or do, or spending a lot of time and energy into trying to figure out what the other thought.

No, with Benny you don’t have to pretend anything or force yourself to keep the conversation running in fear of those horrid awkward silences, because both of you know that you can talk for hours on end when the mood strikes. You met through mutual friends only a few weeks ago, but the connection was clearly there. As was the obvious mutual attraction.

Strictly speaking, though, you and Benny are just friends. Nothing has ever really happened to indicate otherwise in any case. But friends don’t usually try this hard to find any excuse just to hang out, nor do you stay up late every night talking to your other friends. And when you hang out in a group you always seem to gravitate towards one another. What’s more, somehow it always seems to be just the two of you left at the end of the night, often not even noticing the others leave.

Your interactions always border on the line of obvious flirting with your touches and already formed inside jokes, but neither of you ever dare do anything that couldn’t be brushed off as innocent behavior between friends. You guess you’re both just kind of scared to take the leap - you have been burned before, and so has he.

It’s not that you doubt your own feelings for Benny, or indeed his feelings for you. Even you have to admit that he does seem pretty interested in you, but you still wave away your friends’ squeals of “he’s totally in love with you!”, mainly not wanting to get your hopes up too much.

Because a small part of you still finds it a little hard to believe; someone so handsome and funny and kind wanting to be with you? What if he likes you, but just not as much as you like him? What if you were just a second choice for someone you really like until something better comes along - again? That scares you, both of you.

Tonight has been like many other nights lately; you had been to the movies with some of your friends, but after the movie ended you had been grasping at straws to come up with a way to continue the night so they (Benny) wouldn’t go home just yet. Benny had helpfully suggested just driving around and seeing if any ideas came to mind.

Santiago in turn had rolled his eyes at you two knowingly (making both you and Benny fluster and try to fake complete nonchalance) before saying good night and leaving with the others, who apparently didn’t feel the compulsive need to continue spending time together.

--------

The sun has gone down already but you two are still enjoying each other’s company too much to go home yet.

You end up in the 24/7 supermarket parking lot, craving a midnight snack. You are reminded of your teenage years, when you used to hang around different parking lots, popping into the store to buy a soda or a candy bar, spending all day outside with friends.

The only other customers doing their midnight shopping are tired people just off their shifts or young people staying up late just for the hell of it, much like you and Benny are, in fact. You wander around the huge store together, pointing out different products you’d like to try and reviewing stuff one of you already has tried.

Before long you realize that you have already spent almost forty minutes idly wandering around the supermarket, collecting new soda or chip flavors to test. Neither of you thought to grab a basket at the entrance, so your arms are starting to get a bit full.

“Benny, do you think this might be enough?” you ask while struggling to maintain your hold on the different bags of chips.

Benny looks back at you from where he is pondering over whether to get some ice cream. “Huh, I guess. I do still wanna get a sandwich, though!” he exclaims and promptly takes off in the direction of the deli counter where they sell sandwiches and salads left over from the day.

You try to keep up with his long strides, certain that you must look a bit comical half-running after a man with your hands full of treats. Oh, well. Benny often complains about how much focus it requires of him to “modify his steps” to fit your much shorter legs, and he always forgets about it when he gets excited.

When you catch up with him, he has already picked a sandwich for himself and one for you. “I got you salmon, that’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah, thanks!” you say a little breathlessly after your speed-walk, taken that he remembers.

As you finally get to the cash register and start loading your stuff in your bag you see Benny sneak one more candy bar among the rest of your purchases. For someone in such good physical shape he sure does like his candy.

“Where to next?” Benny inquires as you get back to the car.

“Hmm, how about this one waterfront type swimming spot? It’s pretty secluded, has a pier, and there’s a nice view to the sea. I sometimes like to sit there on the cliffs to watch the sun go down,” you suggest, and offer him directions to the place.

It’s a short drive and you show Benny where to park his car. Even though it’s somewhere around 1 a.m. and the sun went down hours ago, the night is still light enough that you can easily see where you’re going and it doesn’t feel like you’re just sitting in the dark.

You settle down on the small pier with your sandwiches and sodas and chips and munch away happily.

Benny hands you the candy bar you saw him grab earlier at the cash register “for dessert”. It has a cheesy text on the packaging about giving this to someone special. He grins and shrugs, “I know you love these”.

It’s such a simple gesture but you can’t help feeling really flattered and even more smitten with him than you already were. You don’t read too much into the text on the packaging, but even the fact that he would buy you a candy bar he knows you love - just because - warms your heart.

(What you don’t know is that the candy bars have lots of different texts to choose from, and that Benny specifically picked “give this to someone special” instead of “give this to a friend”. There was also “give this to someone you love”, but Benny worried that might scare you off.)

--------

After you’re both done with snacking you try to think of what to do next, still reluctant to pronounce this night to be over, you get an idea.

“You know what I would really like to do right now?” you ask Benny, looking out over the water that looks so tempting. “Go swim,” you announce, turning to look at him.

“You don’t have a swimsuit with you, do you?” Benny asks, turning to look at you too.

“No… But there’s no one here,” you point out with your eyebrows raised in challenge.

Benny looks at you for a few beats with a blank expression on his face, before shrugging “Alright,” and throwing off his hoodie and t-shirt, jeans following next. “What are you waiting for?” he shouts over his shoulder as he jumps from the pier into the water.

You’re left sitting there with your mouth open, blinking rapidly as you try to catch up with the fast turn of events. Shaking your head, you stand up and shrug off your clothes before quickly running after Benny and getting into the refreshing water.

The night is still warm, and the water feels wonderful. You swim to catch up with Benny.

“You know, it’s pretty dark here but I’ve basically seen you naked now,” he remarks, waggling his eyebrows, and you snort with laughter.

“Benny, you’re not allowed to make me laugh in the water or I’ll drown,” you try to say sternly.

“Oh sweetheart, I wouldn’t let you drown,” he answers in a surprisingly serious voice.

Suddenly the energy between you is full of.. something. Something new and buzzing, sort of scary but also exciting. Something you can’t quite explain. You’re swimming around each other, looking at each other intently, but not daring to say anything that would break the moment and burst the bubble.

Someone else does that for you.

A couple of teenage girls, you’d guess around 18 years old, stumble on to the pier and immediately notice you two in the water. The other girl lets out a shriek and tightens her hold on the towel around her, and before you can even try to reassure them that everything is fine, they run off giggling and shrieking some more. Evidently, they had had the same idea for a nighttime swim but found the place already occupied.

“Yeahhhh, maybe we should put some clothes on before someone calls the police,” Benny suggests dryly.

You two climb out of the water giggling and grinning broadly. You don’t have any towels with you since you didn’t exactly plan this impromptu skinny-dipping session, but Benny gives you his hoodie to help keep you warm.

Sitting back down next to Benny you’re even closer together now than earlier, ever so slowly inching closer and closer to each other. Both of you think you could pass it off as huddling for warmth if the other were to question it, but somehow you know that won’t be an issue.

Soon enough you’re snuggling together on the waterfront overlooking the sea. You stay quietly like that for some time, maybe fifteen minutes, maybe more. It’s hard to tell when the world is so still and quiet around you.

Suddenly you think that this is it, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. In all honesty you sort of enjoy the pining stage of new relationships, but right now you feel like you might burst if you keep these feelings inside you any longer.

You turn and burrow your head into the crook of his neck and decide that you will have to take the leap now. You start pressing gentle kisses on his neck and hear Benny’s breath hitch at the first contact of your lips on his skin. He goes still as a statue, but you can feel more than hear his unsteady breathing at your actions. You’re practically vibrating with nervous excitement as you work your way up to his jaw and towards his lips.

Taking one final deep breath you close your eyes, not daring to look at Benny in the eye right now, as you bring your lips to meet his.

The kiss is sweet and unhurried, and yet your head is swimming and your whole body is buzzing with it as you melt into each other. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt, which just proves that everything really is different - better - with Benny. You pull away when you find yourself quickly out of breath just from feeling so much.

You finally dare to open your eyes to find Benny gazing at you with a dazed expression that surely mirrors your own and you slowly beam at each other, not feeling the need for words just now. Maybe you couldn’t even find them if you tried.

You settle back against his chest and the two of you stay like that for the rest of the night, sometimes spending long moments just kissing each other, sometimes talking quietly, sometimes just enjoying each other’s presence.

--------

Around five in the morning, when the sun is already getting up, you finally start to really feel the need for sleep. But this time it doesn’t feel wrong to leave and go home, since you’ll be going home together.

Later that day you wake up to a good morning, sweetheart in Benny’s arms where you fell asleep on his couch, tired but happier than you’ve ever felt in your life.

[everythingthemoontouches]

Congratulations on 1024 followers. I can tell your sincere about what you do and how you feel about this blog, you really deserve it!

If not sure if this is a valid question worth answering but I recently bought my first tarot deck (like Monday or Sunday) I have not gotten the chance to properly cleanse or charge it with crystals or through smoke but I have used different methods like meditations, cleansing frequency’s, the blowing and knocking method etc and occasionally setting them down to get some sunlight (I also slept with them under my pillow one night and have been shuffling for practice whenever I have the time to do so)

Today I decided to do a 4 card spread in order to connect with my spirit guides (I did do a short cleansing frequency meditation beforehand) and I’m not sure whether or not I actually connected with them. I do believe that I did a good job at the whole process though and I feel rewarded but I’m still not sure so if you could pitch in however you want that would be nice and I would appreciate it! I guess my question is “what do my guides think” or maybe “Did I receive the right message” “am I on a good regarding tarot)

If you think I should get an intuitive reading or maybe go to someone else, you can just not respond (I am a little bit embarrassed💀) Thank you-jsm🐰👒🍀

Hey there sister 😊

Welcome to the tarot ride ⛵we love it here 💖 firstly, congratulations on your first deck. mine will always be special to me because it lead me here to this community where I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile and helping people out in a way I would have loved to seek guidance when I was younger.

Now for your question about thr cleansing technique - frequency meditations are my favorite way to get the right vibe. I usually feel it in my gut - saying play heart Chakra meditation for this particular reading or some such.

Divination, I believe is a very personal practice and so are intuitive gifts. The exact methodology may vary person to person. Did your cards come pre loved ?

Even if they are the sun is a powerful anti bacterial and has the ability to prevent many diseases in human beings. I don't see why letting it charge under the sun should not get rid of any lingering negative energies if there were any to begin with. The other methods you've described seem more than sufficient.

It's the intention and integrity with which you follow them that counts. I would suggest trying to maintain cleanliness in the area where you do your readings. Personally I know I've become a lot more sloppy than iw as a year ago and I try really hard to keep my surroundings clean.

You mention the sun so I feel that you could be more of a fire based energy. However, are you sure direct sunlight is not bad for the cards laminate? I live in the tropics and leaving things out in the sun can really make the color fade over time.

Tapping the cards on wood seems good enough. The more respectfully you treat your cards the better connection you'd build.

Have you tried a deck interview yet? Those are always so fun way to do and a good way to bond with your deck. These are some I personally used :

1. I said hello and asked the deck to introduce their main energy.

2. I asked how they would wanna work with / through me

3. When I started my insta page I asked my deck who they wanna help through me. I got the 3 of hearts. I knew I needed to be compassionate and talk about pain instead of faking optimism.

4.i asked my deck how they saw me.

5. What kind of approach do your cards have to this relationship between cards and reader?

I used to follow the gem goddess on YouTube and she spoke about just taking a couple of minutes to go through all thr cards and intuitively see what each card means to you before trying to memorize the meanings. Sometimes, memory can gatekeep your intuition. If you're lead by emotion, and how you feel that's probably not soemthing you'd want I guess. If you're more logically inclined there's always lenormand.

Your Spirit guides are your allies. Twhure your people and they chose the role. If you choose to open up a dialogue they will show up. You're obviously not gonna hear it like in the movies at first (OK, maybe you could if the gift is that strong.) - it could be more feeling based. Or knowing based. Like a sleepy thought. If you felt connected, then you probably did. There are no grades here. It's between you and your team.

Googling the signs, symbolism, environments could be a good way to help decipher the message of you felt like everything was random.

There's this theory that the setting in which you met / experienced them in could be related to your Ketu(north node) Nakshatra

As for your conversation with your guides and the ievrall feel, I drew the High priestess. She is revered for her wisdom, practicality and intuitive abilities. You're on a good path

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[clairecrive]

“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too. 

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re  sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise." 

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled. 

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that. 

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion. 

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit." 

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard. 

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?” 

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.” 

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned. 

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating. 

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married. 

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage. 

She hadn’t considered Talia though. 

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her. 

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat. 

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.” 

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t? 

It may take a while but she would be okay,

[random-mha-thoughts]

Thigh Highs

Characters: Todoroki Shouto, Bakugou Katsuki, Kaminari Denki (these guys be ass men i dun wanna hear NOTHING)

Scenario: Your boyfriend sees you wearing thigh high socks for the first time in your relationship.

Genre: Spice, College AUs!

Word count: 1,746

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​​ @liviitehe​​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​​ 

a/n: I told y’all you were getting headcanons. But instead you’re getting MINI-SCENARIOS because I was feeling it ayeee.  I’m happy to be writing again, even if it’s a warm-up to fanfics and my requests.  I really needed to write something I’m inspired by to ease myself back into writing again, and right now I’m inspired to write these boys thirsting over their s/o’s thiccness. Thank me later.

Also! I was originally gonna write for Kiri, but since I have a request for Denki coming down the pipeline soon, I figured I would write a little sneak peek/sample of him.  They’re scenarios were similar though.  I’m gonna write a part 2 with Kiri, Shinsou, and a bonus Todoroki scene ;)

Todoroki Shouto

You don’t know what spurred you to wear those thigh highs buried in your sock drawer.  Maybe it was a Pinterest post or a school life anime, or it was just too hot for joggers but too cold for just your shorts.  It wasn’t like you were going anywhere; your friends proposed a movie in the common room on your floor, so it didn’t matter if you didn’t look the best in them.  It’s just an experiment, you think as you slid them up your legs.  One glance in the mirror and the slight rolling down at the hem made you frown, taking it as a sign that your thighs are perhaps on the too thick side.  Still, you didn’t care enough to take them off, plopping yourself on the couch between Tsuyu and your boyfriend.  He’d glanced over briefly and outstretched his arm in anticipation of your body nestling itself there to snuggle.

Sometime in the middle of the movie, Todoroki’s head ended up in your lap, twiddling with one of your hands, caressing your fingers and knuckles with his calloused ones.  His other hand rests on your knee.  As the movie carries on, more of your friends start dozing off and you start paying more attention to your phone.  You feel Todoroki’s hand on your knee ghost ever so slightly up higher.  Figuring he’s just cradling his head on that hand, you try not to stiffen, until his finger starts tracing the rolled up lip of my socks.

Your hand in his soft hair taps a finger to call his attention.  When his body pivots onto his back, you whisper, “Why are you touching my socks, babe?”

A teasing smirk quirks at his lips.  “Is it distracting you?”

“Kind of.”  It may or may not make you self-conscious.

His finger traces a small circle on your bare thigh, facing your body now.  “These socks are distracting me too, calling attention to these beautiful thighs of yours.”  Before you can respond, he places a kiss right at the hem of your shorts, sending a wave of low heat through your body.  “That little bit of skin spilling out the top looks absolutely tantalizing, dear.”  His light touches and caresses enveloping your body in delicious sparks of electricity as he continues peppering more feathery kisses on your flesh to meet the end of your shorts.  You squirm as you breathe his name, only for him to sit up and lean up against your ear.  “I’d like to devour them, rest on them a little more,” his voice drops lower, “Maybe dwell right between them.”

Your face erupts in the most furious heat.  “N-No- W-What if someone hears you?” you whisper-yell.

“Everyone’s asleep already.”  Todoroki’s hand dips under your flesh, riding up your shorts and giving your soft thighs a light squeeze, his lips ghosting the sensitive spot under your ear.  “But I can wait to ravish you fully when we’re alone.”  Another chaste kiss on your jaw.  “I’d love to see you wear these more often.”  The other hand tugs the elastic band before releasing it, letting it snap against your thigh and eliciting a sharp gasp from you.  He just chuckles at your sensitivity.  “Be prepared, darling.”

Bakugou Katsuki

“Get over here and cuddle me already!”  Your needy boyfriend grumbles from your bed.  His pouty face is apparent in your mind even if you can’t see it from your rummaging.

“Just a minute, babe.”  You’re separating the socks in your drawer.  You figured it would be a cute idea to wear the socks Mina suggested you get; they were soft enough to cuddle in and you thought Bakugou would enjoy it, even though he’s not the picky type as long as you were actually cuddling him.

It’s a lazy Friday afternoon after your classes are finished.  The end of a weary school week means cuddling up with each other as stress relief.  There’s nothing more the two of you look forward to than staying in each other’s arms, watching movies, talking, kissing, or a combination of all three.

Finally, you pull them out and slide them on.  Catching your reflection in the mirror, you smile at how cute they look on you.  They have little black bows at the top and a matching line down the side of the cream colored knit.

“Babe.”

Bakugou’s sudden gravelly voice pulls you out of your thoughts.  It’s a different tone from the whining he was doing just a moment ago, it’s sudden intensity almost scaring you.  One look in his crimson eyes tells you exactly why.  He’s sitting upright now, tracing your form as his tongue swipes his smirking bottom lip.  “Is that a little something for me?”

You flicker your head down then right back at him, pushing your legs together shyly.  “I thought it would be cute, don’t you think?” you squeak out.

Your action must have excited him more, something between a hum and a groan resonating in his throat.  “God, you’re killing me.”  Bakugou holds his hands outstretched to you.  “Get over here before I scoop you up myself.”

As the obedient lamb you are, you scurry over to him.  His hands immediately grab behind your thighs and pull you into his lap, strongly gripping your soft skin.  “Just the perfect accessory for these amazing thighs of yours.”  He gives one of them a light slap, earning a yelp from you.  “You been hiding these from me for long?”

You shake your head quickly.  “Mina thought I should get them, I wanted to show you.”

“It’s my lucky day isn’t it?” Bakugou groans out, gathering more of your thickness in his hands to massage them as he meets your lips sloppily.  “Who said you can look that damn hot?”  As he leans down to steal rabid kisses from your sensitive neck.  “I’m the only person you can wear these for, you hear me?” he growls against your skin, leaving a bite on your collarbone.  Blunt nails dig down the flesh of your leg, making you gasp.  “I can just hold them all day, you’re not going anywhere for a while.”

One thing’s for sure, you’re going to do a lot more kissing than you did cuddle this time around.

Kaminari Denki

There are a lot of things in your closet that you haven’t worn, including a single rogue pair of thigh-high socks you’ve never dared to wear until you were bored today.   It could be fun to look like a schoolgirl, you think brightly, pulling them on.  Half of you expected the socks to constrict all the life from your legs, but they were just the slightest bit snug at the tops of your knees only.  With the help of Pinterest, you decide on a pair of shorts and some heeled booties to finish off the bottom half of a potential outfit you promise you’ll wear to class one day.

When you finally look in the mirror, you instinctively say, “Damn.”  You didn’t expect the outfit to look this cute, even though your thick thighs look a little too big at some angles.  “I have a figure.”

You have to take some cute pictures.

Pulling out your camera, you imitate the poses in the model photos you saw, pushing your legs together to make your thighs look skinnier and trying not to show the fat pooching out from the top of the socks.  Buzzing with newfound self-esteem at how hot you are, you send the pictures to your boyfriend without another thought.  “Was cleaning stuff out, don’t I look cute?”  You expect him to answer right away since he saw the pictures right after you sent them, but he leaves them on read, sending all of your confidence crashing down.  I thought I looked cute, I thought he would agree, you think somberly.

Slumping onto the floor in front of your closet, you slide through the pictures you were just squealing over two minutes ago.  Why would Kaminari, your number one supporter and cheerleader, leave you on read?  You thought you look like quite a catch.  You know you look like quite a catch.

A minute later, there’s a knock on your door.  Rushing to answer it, swinging the door surprisingly reveals the bright blond hair of your boyfriend.  You have no time to act surprised, he takes one sweep down before he jumps on you, pushing your body against the wall and crushing your lips to his.  His hands tightly grip your hips, looping a finger inside your shorts.

You roughly push his face away, both to breathe and get an explanation from your seemingly bipolar boyfriend.  Before you can say anything, he moans, “I couldn’t help myself, I had to come see you in person.”  He pulls back a little to scan your body again.  “God, you look sexy, baby.  You know how much I love your legs and this curvy little figure of yours.”  He hoists you up by your thighs, pinning your body to the wall with his and squeezing his hands around your flesh just shy of your butt.

You let out a yelp just as his lips capture yours again, more hungry this time, as he gathers more of your lovely thickness in his hands.  You try to match his pace, but he proves to be too much for you, especially with how he’s slowly grinding your bodies together, sending sweet tingling electricity through you.  Kaminari slides his hands down your legs closer to the middle of your thighs to carry you over to your bed, waddling over so he won’t drop you.

As he passes your mirror, you separate from him.  “W-Wait, stop here.”

The boy stops moving but continues his assault down your neck now.  Through your foggy mind, you pull out your phone and take a picture of the passionate image: your boyfriend gripping your honey thighs desperately as he ravages your neck, your arm clinging onto his neck and your knees squeezing his body, the socks the perfect accessory.  He looks up to stare down at the picture before rushing you over to the bed, practically tossing you down onto it before taking his place hovering over you.  Stealing your lips with another searing kiss, he mumbles, “I want that as my phone background, you look so hot there.  Damn, I’m so lucky to have you.”

You chuckle out another sigh.  “And here I thought you didn’t like how I looked.”

“Never!”

PART 2

[tinyboxxtink]

"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 2*

Yes, for two days this is a semi short chapter, but I had another long today and have one more tomorrow and I wanted you to have SOMETHING. Weirdly though I had an entire different chapter written in my head, but when I started typing this came out instead. My original idea is still coming, this just added a fun little bonus getting there. I promise, tomorrow you will get a longer chapter.

Thank you loves for sticking by me through everything! I love you all.

Also, I'm finally using CHAPTER. I kept wanting to use it instead of PART but I just kept writing PART and was like WELP. But they're chapters, right?!

Ok I'll shut up.

Part 1 Here

Part 3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

And @storiesofsvu for Rita check. lol.

----------------------------------------

When five o’clock rolled around, Rita came walking out of her office with a stack of papers and her briefcase, balancing her purse on her barely free arm.

“Y/N, Why are you still here? Did I not unlock your chains?” She laughed.

“Haha….no, ma’am” You nervously laughed. “I um, I think I’m waiting for someone,”

“You think?” She raised a curious eyebrow. “If you’re waiting on Barba, you’re going to waiting a long time, sweetie,”

“Wha-? How--? Why, exactly?” You asked her totally flabbergasted by the insinuation that not only had Rafael asked you out, but was bailing already.

“He tends to get a little...involved, in his cases. Poor man is a workaholic,” She feigned pity for him.

“Right,” You nodded to her comically overflowing briefcase and papers. “Something you know nothing about,”

“Touché,” She winked. “I’d give him a call, make sure he hasn’t forgotten about you, dear. Before the cleaning staff shows up,” She laughed and sauntered out of her office, leaving you alone in the dark.

You glanced down at your phone. He hadn’t really specified a time, just-- “Tonight”. What did that even mean? Tonight. Like early evening dinner, or a midnight snack after he was done with his cases? You should probably text him. Or call him. Or text him.

TO BARBA: Heyyy….

Wait. Was three y’s too many? Wasn’t that a rule? You show affection by how many y’s you use? Is that a thing kids do these days? Wait, no you’re not a kid. And he certainly was NOT a kid. No. Be a grown up about this.

TO BARBA: Hi I’m just...checking in.

Checking in? What did that even mean? And why the ellipsis? There doesn’t need to be a pause in a text. That’s why it’s a text. You pause in your mind before typing. Idiot.

TO BARBA: What’s up?

Ok. Short and simple. To the point. No pressure, no demanding. Just... ‘checking in’. You hated yourself. Alright fine, good enough send it. SEND IT. HIT SEND NOW.

MESSAGE SENT.

Your phone shook in your trembling hand as you waited for the ellipsis of him writing back. That was too much, no no just put it back in your pocket and he’ll text you when he--

BARBA CALLING

Oh god, a phone call? Who calls people anymore? Grown ups, that’s who. Answer the phone like an adult.

“H-Hello?” You answered it as if he had the wrong number.

“Hey, Cinderella,” His smooth voice came through your earpiece. “I’m so sorry, I should have been more specific about the time,”

“Oh, yeah no-- no big deal, I’m just here at work….alone, in the dark…” You muttered the last words to yourself as you looked around the dark office.

“Right. Well, I’m kind of wrapped up in this case right now--” He started, making your heart drop. Well, Rita called it. He’s just married to his job, no time for women, let alone you. Time to just--

“....Would you hate me if I asked you to come help me?”

“...I’m sorry, what?” You blinked in confusion at your phone. So, was he actually asking you out or trying to snake you as an assistant from Rita? Is that what he meant by ‘dinner’? “Hey come bring me food and help me file these cases, because I’m so sexy and cocky and--”

“You know what, I’m so sorry I just heard how that sounded. You’ve been doing this all day, the last thing you wanna do is come--”

“Sure!” You cut him off a little loudly. What were you doing?! You’re just going to lay down and let him use your services for free? Well, when you put it that way it sounded pretty skeezy about yourself.

“....Are you sure? Because we can just have dinner another night--”

“....Yeah I have a feeling that will never happen,” You cut him off with a laugh.

“Wha--no, it will! I just--”

“Your wife comes first, I get it,” You cut him off again.

“My wife?”

“Yeah you’re married to your work,” You smirked into the phone.

“Wow, quippy Cinderella. Guess you’re more confident on the phone without my gorgeous face tripping you up now, aren’t you?”

“Do you want my help or not, Casanova?” He was totally right; without those green emeralds staring into your soul you were actually a pretty funny and smart person. Maybe it would be better to just have this date on the phone.

"Yes, absolutely," He sighed with a smile.

“Did you want me to bring food, or am I just supposed to eat paperclips and vending machine leftovers??”

“I’ll order some pizza, do you like pizza?”

“....I live in New York Barba. Obviously I like pizza,” You teased.

“Right,” He chuckled. “Well I’ll be here--”

“I know where your office is,” You cut him off for the third time.

“Oh, do you?” He asked in a sneaky tone, as if he thought you’d been googling him or something.

“Um, yeah,” Your voice fell an octave softer. “Actually I’ve been there several times, dropping off stuff from Rita for you,” Of course he wouldn’t remember that. Why would he remember that? You weren’t anything special.

“Shit,” He muttered as if chastising himself. “Y/N I’m so sorry, I--”

“It’s fine,” You assured him as you headed down to the subway. “I’m uh, I’m getting on the train so I’ll see you soon,” You hung before he could reply.

--------------

It wasn’t that far to Rafael’s office from Rita’s, just a few stops away. You quickly hurried up the stairs back into the Manhattan air as you swiftly walked through the sea of people leaving corporate America to go home to Suburbia. Finally you reached the building, went for the door and-- it was locked.

Well of course it was locked, nobody else in their right mind would be here this late-- so clearly you and Rafael were out of your minds. Shit. Should you call him? Was there a buzzer? Before you could think of another solution a pizza delivery man was walking up to you. Maybe ‘man’ was too generous, he was probably around 16 or 17.

“Delivery for Mr. Barba,” He handed you the pizza. Did you look like a “Mr. Barba” to him?!

“I um,” You stammered as the hot pizza burned the sides of your arms you were holding it on. “I’m not Mr. Barba,”

“Are you taking it to him?” He asked you with a slight attitude.

“I um,” You thought a moment. Well you were going to see him, so yes theoretically you would be taking the pizza with you to him. “...Yes,”

“That’ll be 46.57.” He whipped out a credit card scanner on his phone.

“E-Excuse me?” You were taken aback. Now Barba had you buying him dinner? And what kind of pizza costs basically 50 bucks?!

“2 Large pizzas, an order of cheesy bread, a dessert pizza and delivery fee,” The kid read off the receipt from his phone. “I only accept credit or debit cards, and please tip generously,”

“Yeah right,” You muttered with a roll of your eyes as you pulled out your credit card and swiped it across his phone. The light turned green and a receipt printed off an attachment to his phone. He ripped it off and handed it to you, then nonchalantly walked back down the stairs to wherever he was parked.

“Awesome,” You sighed. You still didn’t know how to get inside, and now you were carrying all this hot food. All of this for a pair of green eyes?!

To make matters worse, your phone started going off in your purse. You groaned and tried to put all of the boxes down softly, but the night wind blew them onto the pavement, HARD.

“Shit!” You groaned louder as you tried to salvage the food while pulling your phone from your purse. Of COURSE.

BARBA CALLING

“I can’t get in,” You simply stated as a greeting on the phone.

“What?”

“I can’t get in the building, Barba,” You grumbled, now on a 8 on the annoyance scale.

“Oh! Oh God,” The line went dead. Awesome.

After a few minutes while you were trying to rebalance all of the boxes in your arms, one of the big glass doors swung open right into you. The boxes all pressed against you, their hot, saucy, cheesy and chocolatey goodness smearing all over your work outfit.

“SHIT!!!!!!” You screamed in horror.

“Oh my god, Oh god Y/N I am SO--” Rafael started to apologize profusely, but you noticed he was trying his best not to burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry, do you think this is funny?!” You asked angrily while you peeled a pepperoni from your hair.

“No, not at all,” He shook his head vigorously, but kept giggling behind his eyes.

“You do!” You stomped your heel, causing marinara to roll down your legs. “You are absolutely laughing at me being covered in all of your stupid food that I had to pay for by the way--”

“Oh no, really?” He suddenly turned sincere.

“No, Rafael,” You scoffed as you tried pulling cheese from your skirt. “I just had sex with him in the parking lot and we called it square,”

“Really--?!”

“NO NOT REALLY!”

“Okay! Okay I’m sorry, really I am,” Rafael tried to show you sympathy, but you looked so damn cute covered in a tasty meal.

“Yeah I can see that, you’re grinning like a five year old,” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/N I really am,” He gave up trying to hide a laugh. “But you have to admit it’s pretty funny--”

“I DON’T THINK--” You started to scream at him again, but his smile made these cute little crinkles in his eyes, and his laugh was like an angel’s chorus. You might have been covered in food, but you would be covered in manure if it made him laugh like that.

“For what it’s worth, you look delicious,” He teased you, pulling an actual full piece of pizza from your chest and biting it.

“Oh my god, you’re so gross,” You did your best not to laugh, you were still supposed to be angry.

“Yum, Y/N flavor, my favorite,” He laughed for a moment just as you both realized what he had said. “Uh, I mean--” He looked away in embarrassment, and you swear you saw his face flush red.

“Um no counselor,” You bit your lip with a smile. “I’m pretty sure I taste better than a mix of pizza sauce and chocolate,”

“I’m sure you do,” Rafael bravely retorted, now that he knew you were in the playing mood.

“....But seriously, now I have to go home and get this shit off--”

“I have a shower in my office,” He blurted out.

“....Excuse me?” You blinked, not believing you heard him right.

“I...I have a shower in my office,”

“Oh my god, Rafael Barba are you that addicted to work that you live here?”

“No!” He rolled his eyes. “It’s for emergencies,”

“Emergencies? Like what?”

“Like a beautiful woman covered in pizza toppings and chocolate,” He smirked. “Now come on, I don’t want anyone around here thinking I’m dating a crazy person,” He opened the glass doors again and escorted you into the lobby of the building.

Your mind didn’t know what to focus on first; the fact that he had this mysterious office shower, that he had offered for you to use said shower, or the fact that he just referred to you as a ‘woman he was dating’. You just followed him silently into his office with a smitten grin on your face.

He wasn’t lying when he was in the ‘middle’ of something. Papers were strewn all about his desk, a white board with bullet points for arguments and cross examinations scribbled on it. You finally got a good look at him without the anger of having food all over your judgement. He looked tired, not the usual smooth and pristine Rafael Barba you were used to. But when he looked back at you to show you where his shower was, his green eyes sparkled gazing into yours.

“So, I have some spare suits in a closet here, would you mind hanging out in one of my dress shirts while I wash...these?” He gestured to your dirty clothes. Wait, wash?

You suddenly realized he had led you into a secret room to the side of his office, behind a bookcase.

“Wha…” You looked around the room. There was a shower, a wardrobe, a washer/dryer combo, and a suit steamer. “Jesus Barba, are you sure you don’t live here?”

“No I promise I don’t,” He shook his head with a laugh. “...But I may have on occasion fallen asleep here enough to invest in this,”

“And what happens when this office is passed on to a new ADA?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Then I’m sealing this place off like a mausoleum,” He stated very seriously, causing you to giggle. He loved your giggle, it was so small and soft, just like you.

“Anyway,” He shook off his momentary daze at your giggle hoping you didn’t notice. “Like I said-- Shower, dress shirt. Just put your dirty clothes in the washer and we’ll pop them in the dryer later,”

“Right,” You nodded, definitely having noticed his dreamy stare at your giggle. How had you gone from completely under his radar to making him giddy like a school boy in two days?

“Right,” He nodded back. “I’ll just be out here...ordering another pizza,” He smirked. “By the way, I’ll totally reimburse you for the one you’re wearing,” He stuck his tongue out at you with a huge grin.

“Oh you better,” You gave him the same face back. “Or I’ll cover you in it,” You lightly pressed a marinara sauce covered finger into his perfectly white dress shirt. He glanced down at it in horror.

“Oh that was so--” He started to tickle and attack you, but realized that would only make his outfit dirtier. “This isn’t over,” He wagged a finger at you as he pointed you to the shower. You gave him one last cheeky smile as he walked out and shut the door to his secret room.

What was happening? Why were you getting to him so easily, so fast? How could he have not even remembered that he had ‘met’ you several times? Well, one thing was for sure. He was never going to forget this night.