#Maybe I can relax but first I need top surgery and 3 years of T (i'm at 2.5 years and have a consultation call)

[gxlden-angels]

Told my religious trauma coach that my gender is "a 1930's orphan boy selling newspapers" I think I might have to go back to Jesus after this one lads

[quackitlee-hq]

{ C! Quackity (tickle) RP blog }

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run by @quiet-gremlin

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{ Important things }

- not kink or nsfw!!

- c! quackity, not cc! quackity

- i am dyslexic!! but i try my best to read through things so they make sense!! lmk if you need something fixed!! /gen

- i (admin) am a minor! so just be careful. i dont want nsfw, or kink being involved. and if you are over the age of 21, just be cautious and know that i am weary of you /nbm/gen

- oc blogs can interact!! but it will be a little funky since im still trying to get used to them!! /gen

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{ HC'S, Boundaries, Spots, and more! }

(last updated 27/12/23) - boundaries updated, general hcs updated, tk hcs updated!

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{ Boundaries } (important)

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- again, id prefer if 21+ were weary around this blog as i am a minor. but u can interact!!

- ABSOLUTELY NO NSFW OR ADULT CONTENT. THIS IS NOT KINK

- i will absolutely do angst!! either in dms or here i can go however far youd like!!! literally anything i am so down!! i love angst <3

- i am comfy with any character interacting!! even if they have problems!! we can either pretend they didnt happen, or give them a little kiss and make up story!!

- im also okay with ships!! if u and ur guy wanna date quackity, just lmk and we can go over the details!! :D

- pls no feet stuff or bondage. they make me uncomfortable.

- my dms r always open!!! and also please dont rush me on roleplays. i get busy, and ill get to you!! (normally im pretty fast, like a couple days inbetween)

- ill add more if i need to!!!

- please please send your ask. idc what it is. just wanna be haha funny and make jokes?? okay!!! do you wanna just say funny things to quackity?? feel free!! (if theyre not rp asks, i will respond as quackity unless otherwise stated!!)

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{ General HC's }

- short king my beloved <3 (4'10 i have no self control)

- 22 years of age !! :D

- he has small wings on his back! he cannot fly due to silly problems in his childhood (angst?), but he tries to take pride in them! he also has little ones on his ears, and he does what he can to take care of them

- ^^ as these two imply, he is an avian hybrid!! tho ppl call him a joke since his wings are more of a golden color (like a ducks)

- when he gets surprised, he lets out a little quack ^_^ and also will trill like a bird when happy (bc hes an avian)

- quackity is dyslexic! but he does what he can to get past it. he has glasses that he only wears in private to help him read

- goes through depression spikes! he usually does what he can, and hypes himself up for the most part, but he does have some problems emotioanlly and mentally. he would rather die than make it somebody else's problem

- basically a dad to the entirety of las nevadas,, even treats foolish n sam as like, his kids (or more as ppl he takes care of)

- overworker!! mans barely sleeps and struggles to feel like hes done a good job

- to relax, quackity watches kids movies on his ipad and unironically likes cocomelon. (IM SORRY SNFNSBD)

- he also can and will throw a tantrum to get his way even when he can just be carried like a baby

- hides his smoking / nicotine addiction n everyone just pretends they dont know (they feel bad for him)

- sucker for the dumbass "best mom" / "#1 mom" shirts and just owns a ton that he sleeps / lounges in LMAO

- quackity id's as a trans guy! he has also had top surgery! he is on t (injections), and doesnt struggle too bad with dysphoria!

- will call you kid. unless he knows you and knows youre older, his first petname is kid.

- does not like talking ab karl, sapnap, or schlatt. like he'll answer maybe two questions before getting annoyed.

- along with that (unless in another au), schlatt/glatt, karl, and sapnap are all banned from las nevadas

- rubs the back of his neck if he's nervous. one of his tells

- speaking of his tells, his others are wringing his hands together, and placing his hands behind his back. rubbing his hands together happens when hes just trying to talk and getting nervous. and he puts his hands behind his back when he's feeling confident

- is a very good gambler, but when it comes to people he knows well?? hes a horrible liar. cannot lie to those he loves for shit.

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{ Appearence HC's }

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- mans always wears his dumb beanie

- messy black hair

- he switches between a red and white button up shirt!!! his sleeves are always rolled up though

- his hair is also a little longer than shoulder legnth!! sometimes its in a ponytail, but its normally just down and low.

- his hair looks greasy but its!! actually not, its soft and well-maintained

- he also has burn scars littered all over his body from what happened to slime. (he does not take care of them)

- he has a little. tail. that is the same color as the wings on his ears. although he does cover it unless hes around someone he likes/trusts <3

- it is right below his lower back <3 but he prefs it untouched (unless asked). its not made of feathers, but rather the softer part of feathers (idk how to explain it)

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{ TK HC's }

- hes like a switch that leans to the lee side <3

- better with ppl he knows better

- can either b an asshole abt it or v playful (almost dad like coughs)

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{ Ler HC's }

- again, he can b an asshole, but he can also b rlly playful, it depends on who u are

- will wait to go to ur worst spots so he can give a buildup

- mainly gets som1 for fucking with him, or getting them to just smile. or if theyre being an annoying little SHIT

- is GREAT at being a teasy asshole, he loves just fucking around

- he can also be really good at gentle tickles, he'll usually use that for a calm kind of situation, or when someones feeling down

- mans will fuck any1 up with raspberries

- is a petty little bitch and will wait to get revenge

- wont babytalk you but will talk like u arent there

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- finds it silly and cute and he likes it as a bonding activity

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- will talk himself up and then just absolutely die

{ Lee HC's }

- cant fucking stand teasing. at all. this man has a poker face of stone but the second you put your hands on him he cant do shit

- nervous giggler my beloved

- can and will throw a fit if you use his height against him, esp in teases

- unable to take it seriously, absolutely cannot stand any kind of teasing. it all just kills him

- arches his back a lot on instict. which doesnt help if someone wants to target his worst spot

- rubs his eyes when he's flustered

- tries to act big and strong even when down and giggly

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[ Spot HC's ]

- thighs ; 6/10

- ribs ; 6/10

- palms ; 8/10 ; melt spot

- neck ; 8/10 ; melt spot

- lower sides / hips ; 9/10

- the little wing ears ; 11/10 ; he will die . .

- lower back!!!! ; 10/10 ; death spot , ,

- burn scars on his neck ; 10/10 ; fluster spot Augh

- his wings and shoulderblades ; 11/10 ; kill him ! !

[maverickcalf]

3, any ship you want!

I woke up in a very trans mood, so we are gonna get some Trans Ethan along with a soulmate au. Some Jack x Ethan, Ethan x Julia But end game Benthan.

TW Internalized Transphobia and Self Harm. Like a good amount of self harm. Please send angst/whump dialogue prompts

3. “Your arm looks…weird.”

Ethan Hunt had always wished for a world without soul marks. Well maybe not always, maybe since he could vocalize that he was his parents’ son and not their daughter. From then on every day he had before he turned 18 was both a blessing and a curse.

Sure, he couldn't transition beyond his parents correcting folks and dressing differently. But at least there wouldn't be a mark burning into his arm, a promise there was someone out there for...was it even for him. Or for a past shadow that never existed?

When he woke up on his 18th birthday with the soul mark on his left forearm. Must mean his soulmate has theirs on their right arm. That's normally what happened, it was like a puzzle piece in that regard. What Ethan hated most about his soul mark was it was actually lovely. A tall plant growing out of a top hat, the trunks intertwining with each other a heart craved into each one. A white butterfly resting on the top.

Ethan had seen so many soul marks that just had people’s names and a heart but this... this was designed by someone in the heavens. And Ethan hated it. That the universe did this for him and didn’t even have the courtesy to give him the body he knew he should be in?

Still his parents were pleased, giving him compliments, saying how beautiful the butterfly was, and they took many pictures of it and then he was off to college, where he was alone, and the hate began to boil.

He was never sure why he decide to first take a knife to it. All he knew is his match would be better off without dealing with all his complexities, without knowing him.

But he went too far, his friend noticed. Sarah noticed after a month, and convinced him that if he really hated it that much he should just cover it and not do something so awful. Really Ethan was just thankful she didn’t report him, he could get suspended for something that drastic, maybe even sent away. Sure he still had to wash it and see it then, but it got better.

Then Ethan met Jack. Now Jack’s soul mark were several electrical wires intertwined to make a heart, his was on his right arm. But Jack was different, he didn’t seem to care about soul marks.

“The way I see it, is a soul mark just shows us who we are most compatible with. Five plus Five may equal ten, but there are many ways to equal ten. The marks are just the most balanced number.”

And it made sense to Ethan, and for the first time in years he felt at peace, he didn’t have to force himself into any box or think about be with someone who expected him to be a certain way. He could just enjoy life. And Life did include Jack, for a time. He even stopped hiding his mark for a few years, he didn’t care that their marks didn’t match. They worked well together, and that’s what mattered.

After he lost everyone, Ethan did relapsed. Thankfully not for long, but it scared him. He covered it up again. He had a few dates and loves after that, but nothing too serious until Julia.

Her mark was a standard heart but instead of in the center had a blood red ruby in the center and the heart was silver not anything in a red tone. Julia was very different than Jack. True, she didn’t care that they didn’t match. The only thing that worried her was the scars the littered his arm. But she loved to study the symbolism of the marks and wished she could have seen it when it was not covered in marks of his self-hatred.

One call to his Uncle later and he acquired his old photos of his mark. He decide to not show Julia any photos where you could see his face or his body, he wasn’t on T or had any sort of surgery, and those parts hurt to see as well.

“I love the butterfly. That’s a male checkered white.”

“Huh? Is it?” Ethan shrugged, “Must mean my match is a guy.”

“Hmm, maybe. But that butterfly is more local to your neck of the woods. I think it is meant to represent you.”

He knew Julia had meant to reassure him, but that made him angry again. Why would his mark label him as male and yet he was born the way he was. It made him hide it again.

Losing Julia to his job was the final straw. He was going to get rid of this thing. Love was pointless, especially for him, having a soul mate was a risk, for him and...whoever matched him. He wasn’t going to take that risk.

When he was done trying to burn it off, it was barely recognizable. Just a vague shape of colors, but the butterfly still was noticeable. But burning it off more in prison wasn’t really a choice. So he just avoided looking at it, hid it again, but now with the reason that no one wanted to see his burn marks, the guards all found it awful to look at it, they gave him a large armband and basically forced him to wear it. Fine by him.

But in all the chaos of the mission after being broken out of jail, he had forgotten to hide not only his marks but his burns. And when he enter the room without it all conversion stopped, all three of their eyes were fixed on his left forearm. Shit.

Benji of course was the first to speak up, “Your arm looks…weird.” Ethan swallowed, he didn���t expect Benji to say it like that, and it hurt more than he thought it would. Benji had always looked up to him but now he could see what sort of man he really was. God, the pained look in his eyes, Ethan couldn’t handle it; he looked away and quickly rolled down his sleeve despite the heat.

“It’s nothing.” He said flatly, trying to indicate through his tone he didn’t want to continue this conversation. 

“Nothing, sure.” Brandt frowned, “Like we are supposed to believe that.”

“Just like we are supposed to you are just an analyst.” Ethan said back sharply. “Who are you Brandt, really?” ---

Despite everything, they made it through. The whole team. But he should've known there would be some changes. They saw, they saw what he did to himself, but none of them spoke to him directly. But they did keep a close eye on him. Good. He didn’t try to do anything again, after all his team was counting on him, knowing they were watching did stop him.

It wasn’t until he was alone with Benji in Vienna did he hear anyone ask about it.

“Ethan, your arm-?” Ethan turned to look at a very nervous Benji, all his confidence from early had seemed to vanish. Still Ethan said nothing, waiting for Benji to say more. “Is that where your mark- was?”

Ethan let out a laugh that was much more bitter in tone than he intended, “It’s still there somewhat, despite everything.”

“Can I see it?” Ethan blinked, he wasn’t expecting that. Still he took off his jacket and rolled up his left sleeve for Benji. He tried to remain relaxed as Benji’s traced his fingers along the outline of the mark, despite the burns making a lot of it indistinguishable. What was something was when Benji rubbed his thumb over where the hearts were on the trunks of the tree, they had been gone for years; How did Benji-?

“Benji?” Ethan asked softly, his heart was racing. Was this really happening?

“I would ask if you miss it but-” Benji bit his lip, “It’s pretty evident you hate it.”

“I just thought...” Ethan swallowed, “I thought my match would be better off, safer without me in their life” Ethan looked into Benji’s eyes, “But...turns out, he is staying...? Right?”

Benji felt his cheeks burn, “How did you know?”

Ethan shrugged, “Just following a hunch.” His face broke out into a smile. After all these years, his friend had been his match the whole time. There were still some hurtles but.. but.. Ethan’s smile faded. There was one major hurtle. Ethan pulled his arm back, rubbing his forearm “B-benji. There is something you... you should know, about me.”

“I know you don’t believe in soulmates, but-” Benji said, Ethan could tell he was trying to hold himself together.

“I am trans. I am a trans man.” Ethan said before he could talk himself out of it. Benji’s eyes widened. “I was always afraid, that, my match would expect someone else. Not Ethan but-”

“I am not expecting anything.” Benji cut him off, “I wouldn’t want you to force yourself into a relationship with me! It’s just a mark on an arm, not legally binding.”

“Do you want to...be in a relationship with me? Even after learning I am trans and how...” He let out a soft chuckle, “How much I hated myself?”

“...Yes. I do.” Benji smiled softly. Ethan smiled back.

There would be time to talk later but for now all they needed was each other. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, Ethan’s thumb gently rubbing the white butterfly on Benji’s arm. His parents were right, it was beautiful.

[disaster-fruit]

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

[janelevy]

#3 + Rhekker from the fluffy prompt list... Hopefully you’re still doing those😉😊😍

#3 from the fluff list = “what did you do?”

summary: to celebrate their son’s fifth birthday, connor and ava take him camping, and it doesn’t take long for things to go awry. basically just domestic rhekker and them being the dorkiest parents ever!

a/n: i have no idea why i thought of camping. i guess i thought of the most opposite thing from being doctors in a hospital, and this is what i came up with. needless to say, connor feels a bit out of place in the wilderness haha!

When Connor suggested going on a camping trip to celebrate Charlie’s fifth birthday, Ava’s first thought was to ask him if he hit his head recently.

“Oh, come on, Avey. I’m not going insane. It’s just camping.” Connor was at the stove stirring a pot of macaroni while Ava diced onions at the counter behind him. He turned down the heat and set the wooden spoon aside, moving to face his wife from across the kitchen island. “I mean, how bad can it be?”

“Asking that question is setting you up for failure.” Ava pushed the onion pieces together on the cutting board, only pausing her work briefly to give him a giant eye roll. “Listen, I just find it hard to imagine Connor Rhodes, distinguished surgeon and proud Porsche owner, going out and— oh, what’s it called— ‘roughing it’ in the wilderness.”

He chuckled, but she didn’t miss the hint of exasperation behind his words. “Okay, first off, you also happen to be a distinguished surgeon. And secondly, we’re obviously going to take your car, not mine. We’ll need, like... a tent and whatever else. All that stuff won’t fit in Mr. Grey.”

“I still think it’s about time to sell Mr. Grey and get a nice, safe, dad car. Did you look at those links I sent about the Honda—”

“— the Honda Odyssey, yes, I did see those. More like Odyssey to imminent boredom, though.” Connor shook his head and leaned on the counter to meet her eyes, which were watering from the onions. “Avey, you know we agreed we’re not having any more kids. There’s only three of us. Why do we need a minivan? They’re so... bleh.” He shuddered and stood up again. “Anyway, you’re changing the subject. Don’t think you’re so sneaky.”

“Damn. Foiled me again,” she teased. “But seriously, Connor. The main reason I’m protesting this is because I’m concerned for you. You’d be uncomfortable for an entire weekend. Charlie and I would be fine. He adores mummy-son hikes, and I spent most of my childhood outside in the backyard digging up insects.”

“You also spent a lot of your childhood doing creepy fake surgeries on your stuffed animals,” Connor countered.

“It— it was practice!” she sputtered, unable to suppress the smile that formed in response to his smirk. “Anyway, that has nothing to do with what we’re talking about. I just want to do something all three of us will equally enjoy.”

Connor frowned then, his expression growing more earnest. “Avey, I already asked him what he wants to do. He... seemed super enthused by this idea. I’m not about to tell him no. I don’t care if I have to spend a few days covered in dirt and bug bites and whatever else. I want our baby to be happy.”

She paused in her work, setting the knife down and sighing. “Well, that changes it. The most important thing is what Charlie wants.” Without warning Ava circled around the counter to pull Connor into her arms. She sighed into his shoulder, turning her head so she could speak clearly. “He’s not really a baby anymore, is he?”

At her sniffle, Connor pressed a kiss on her head and murmured, “He’ll be our baby forever if we want him to be. Even when he’s the grouchiest teenager in the world, he’ll still be our baby. Even when he’s forty, he’ll still be our baby.” He gazed past her out to the living room, where their son was crouched on the carpet building towers with the big toddler-friendly Lego blocks.

“He will definitely be the grouchiest teenager in the world. With both of our DNA in him? Yikes,” Ava said. They shared a laugh then, and as Connor went to drain the pasta, she added, “Looks like we’re taking a trip to Bass Pro tomorrow to get some gear.”

Connor glanced over his shoulder, throwing her his millionth smile of the day. All these years, and he still couldn’t help grinning like an idiot around her. “Little dude is gonna be so thrilled,” he told her. And he was right.

Come next weekend, however, they were no longer feeling quite as thrilled about camping. They secured three entire days off, and they planned to savor every minute of them. So on the first Saturday in July, two days before Charlie’s official birthday, they packed up Ava’s SUV and drove out to the wooded shoreline of Lake Michigan and set up camp on a sandy patch near the water. Before Connor even got in the car, he had already layered himself with bug spray and sunscreen, and made sure Ava and Charlie were thoroughly covered as well. It was only after an entire hour-long car ride and unpacking at the campsite when they realized a smear of white zinc had accidentally been left on Charlie’s nose. Ava spent the rest of the day teasing him about it, and Connor waited until they were grilling hot dogs that night to retaliate and “accidentally” squirt a ton of sunblock all over her back. It got all over her tank top and hair, and the way she cursed him in between bouts of laughter drew him to take a midnight dip in the lake with her well within view of their tent, where an overstimulated Charlie had fallen asleep before it was even dark out. That first night swimming below the stars together, with dragonflies and fireflies swirling all around them, was perfect. They had never felt so far away from the city before.

Then came the next morning.

Connor was the first to rouse, rolling over to find Ava and Charlie still deep in slumber. He tousled his son’s hair affectionately; the kid had been passed out for several hours now. That had been bound to happen, though, considering Charlie sprang out of bed yesterday morning at 4 AM because he was too excited to sleep. 

Connor sat up and kicked the sleeping bag off his legs. It was fiercely hot and pretty stuffy in the tent, so his t-shirt was sticking to him like a second skin. He reached over to his things and pulled a pair of khaki shorts on over his boxers, grunting at the limited space and his sweaty, sticky arms and legs. This was not the definition of luxury, that was for sure. At least none of them had gotten any bug bites or ticks or sunburn or leeches or whatever else was out there. Nobody was getting any wounds on his watch.

He had to pee pretty bad, and thankfully Ava had found a campsite that had public restrooms close by to use. Connor had confessed he thought wiping his ass with a leaf was going a bit too far, and luckily she’d conceded. The bathrooms didn’t exactly have spotless marble countertops and hot water, but they were better than nothing. 

So Connor crawled carefully around his son, who was sprawled in between his parents’ sleeping places, and unzipped the flap on the tent (it was a fancy model, and he didn’t even want to know how much it had cost. Whatever the price was had to be too much. But again he had to remind himself— this was all for Charlie. That made it worth it).

Connor didn’t even spare a glance towards their supplies until he came lumbering back from the restrooms. And when he saw what was in front of him, he froze, jaw on the leafy ground.

It was all gone. Every last speck of food was devoured by... some kind of animal. Upon closer inspection at the tattered wrappers and claw marks left behind in the picnic table, it must’ve been a bear. Maybe two bears. Or wolves. God, what the hell lived out here? Connor gritted his teeth and spared the tent a swift glance. Ava wasn’t awake yet. Maybe if he was quick, he could take the car to the nearest convenience store and try to replenish all they’d brought.

But right then, to his horror, he saw his wife’s shadow sit up in the tent, and he heard her sleeping bag rustling. Panic roaring in his blood, Connor zoomed over and right as Ava began to unzip the flap, he stuck his head in the gap and smiled way too widely at her.

“Good morning, Avey! Sleep well?” he asked breathlessly.

She jumped back, startled by his sudden appearance. And of course, she smelled the bullshit all too easily. “... what did you do?” Ava replied, tilting her head as she stretched her arms behind her back and yawned. One eyebrow was up in a high arch, which was already a bad sign.

“Connor,” Ava said when he didn’t answer. Her voice was curt yet gentle. “Honey. What happened?”

He bit his tongue and gave a partial shrug. “Ahh... well... I- I guess you should see for yourself.”

Reluctantly he moved back and allowed her to crawl out of the tent and survey the remains of their food supplies. Right away she surged forward, hands scrabbling over the now empty tabletop. She grasped at empty, chewed-up wrappers, tossing them on the ground in shock and whirling back to face him. “This was supposed to last us two more days, Connor! I thought you secured all this stuff in the car overnight?”

Connor hung his head and let out a long, slow breath. “I... I forgot.” Then he sprang into action, darting back to the tent and retrieving the car keys. “But I can fix it! I’ll go run to the store right now and I’ll be back before Charlie even wakes up.”

Of course, as soon as that left his mouth they heard their son call sleepily from the tent. Then seconds later the little boy emerged from the tent, scratching his messy dark hair.

Ava forced a relaxed smile onto her face, going over to pick him up and hug him to full awakeness. “Good morning, nunu. Did you have sweet dreams?”

“Very sweet dreams, mommy,” Charlie yawned. He squinted his hazel eyes against the sunlight and buried his cheek in his mother’s shoulder the exact same way Ava nestled her face into Connor’s chest. His chubby little fingers played with golden wisps of Ava’s sleep-ruffled hair. “I’m hungry.”

“Don’t worry, little man, I’m gonna go get us something good to eat,” Connor said. He approached them and dropped a kiss on both their cheeks.

“You better,” Ava replied, keeping the threatening tone to a minimum for Charlie’s sake.

Connor unlocked the car and glanced back at her, offering one more apologetic grin. “McDonald’s?” he asked.

“Yes, McDonald’s.”

“I’ll be back soon. Love you.” With that, Connor got in the car and carefully drove off down the gravelly path.

Ava watched him go while rubbing circles into Charlie’s back. “Love you too, Dr. Buffoon.”

[soldierallen]

Sooner. Part 1

Plot: Bucky's been wanting to propose two his longtime girlfriend and everytime he tries to something gets in the way.

/

(Only a 1/3 series don't get too attached)

"Hey doll can you... come over here for a minute." He said as he fixed them a dinner in their living room with candlelight roses

"Wow what's all this for?" She smiled getting closer to him kissing his cheek, "I just wanted to make you feel special you know you're my world I want you to know how great and wonderful you are" she kissed his lips lightly as he kissed back, they let go to eat dinner, this was it just as he was about to pull out the ring the phone started to ring

She got up answering the phone on the wall "hello?"..."bucky they need you ar the tower it's important" she hung up the phone he huffed getting up shoving the ring back in his pocket

"Why do we even have a house phone, we live in 2019 the world is filled with technology self driving cars and vacuum cleaners that vacuum for you! Carol I just wanted it to be us tonight" He was a little mad that they were interrupted, she laughed "buck, you do this everytime I think it's cool like older times, vintage" she got closer to him rubbing his chest lightly as he sighed his metal hand on her hip

"I'll be back" he kissed her slowly not wanting for it to end leaving without another word,

A month had passed he was ready to try again,

Walking in central park he smiled holding her hand as she pushed up her glasses that kept falling down her nose cause she was looking at the "scary" birds ducking her head every once in a while scared that they were going to get stuck in her hair, "I'll protect you" "you always have" she kissed him her hand on his neck both of his hands on her waist, one hand slide into his pocket about to pull out the ring when suddenly, a bird flew right at them causing her to immediately start running and screaming, causing bucky to burst out into laughter running after her

One month later, this was it his final moment he opened and closed the ring a billion times it felt like, he's had this ring for three months once a month he's tried convincing himself to do it but something always got in the way.

She leads him to a coffee shop he doesn't recognize where they are..

"where are we?" He asked, "wow how could you how dare you?" Still confused he looked at her

"This is where I first saw you! You and Steve were across the way at that bar outside" she pointed to the window across the way, and I prayed for that long haired man to come inside this coffee shop so I could possibly get his number, and when he didn't walk in, I walked out across the street to the bar" he smiled remembering the night he always thought the first time she saw him was at the bar, when really she was looking at him from somewhere completely different

"So why are we here?" He asked with a smile on his face

"Because I love you and i wanted to show you how I saw you for the first time oh and they have amazing coffee " She put her head on his shoulder she wrapped his metal arm around herself "I'm safe when I'm with you bucky" he kissed the top of her head "I love you to" he then touched his pocket for the ring, nope... he pulled his arm off of her checking his other pocket... nope, that feeling in his stomach erupted did he lose the ring? He checked his jacket pockets, nothing. Panic settled in quickly

"hey what's wrong??" She saw him start to panic she knew what that looked like she didn't want to alarm him too bad she gently touched his hand squeezing on it tapping on his skin "everything's okay" "relax, whatever it is we will fix it, did I say something??" he nodded his head no, trying to calm down he felt the tapping on his hand knowing he was panicking

"I lost something I thought I had it in my pocket and it's gone"

"What was it?" She asked

"The stress thing I use sometimes when I start to panic you know?" He lied to her for the first time, it felt weird and strange.

"It's okay I am here" she rubbed his arm lightly, they went home he tried to calm down but he couldn't he tried for her but she knew when this happened to him he was in his head and it was hard to get him out. Just then he opened his drawer, and there it was he immediately calmed down, he hated himself for ruining their night over the ring.

"Bucky LOOK I found it" she yelled finding his stress ball he thanked her giving her a kiss "I'm sorry for acting like that" "I know babe it's okay it's scary sometimes.. but I'm with you"

another month passed, finally this is it. Four months today's the day he proposes. This is it the proposal. Nothing will stop him

"Okay I've been waiting for this moment for years, months even" he prepared his speech, she opened the door to the bedroom dressed for their day out

"Let's get this show on the ROAD!" she yelled, they left their home walking around New York city going into stores their favorite restuarant they saw a play everything was going smoothly, nothing could go wrong tonight.

The lights of times square lit up the streets, it was midnight the moon was out but It felt like 2pm, and that's when the lights flickered on every building, a threat seeing an avenger pop up from every corner, Wanda, Steve, Tony, the list goes Bucky shut his eyes in annoyance

"Marry me" he turns to her, her body completely shuts out every sense every noise everything around her seems to go silent, her body drops to the floor Bucky immediately grabs her she sees his mouth moving but thr words she can't hear them,

"No no this can't be happening not today" he put pressure on her stomach, she was coughing her ears finally coming back from the shock she heard sirens and loud screams footsteps everything seemed heightened "hey baby can you hear me??" He questioned "hey buck" she felt herself slowly getting weaker she put her hand on his cheek her eyes started to water from the pain "no no don't, stop." He tried to get her to stop but she wasn't

"I love you bucky barnes, I always have we've been together for three years now?, God has it been that short of time, I feel like I've known you since forever" tears streamed faster both tears mixing together he kissed her forehead "I love you and you're going to make it don't give up on me don't do this to me, I need you okay?" He said putting so much pressure he screamed for Steve to get an ambulance a doctor anyone he yelled

"marry me caroline" she cried harder which made her feel weaker "yes" he pulled the ring out putting it on her finger they kissed when she pulled away to cough up blood "no no no" finally an emt pushed bucky out of the way they surrounded her body putting pressure getting her prepared for the ride

"I love you baby" he yelled with tears on his cheeks "I love you" she said, they put her in the ambulance

"tell him I would've loved to be his wife" she said with no movation

"You tell him that" the emt said.

It's been a few hours bucky's head is spinning his lungs are tight he's covered in her blood, his hands and his grey t shirt sweater are covered in dried up blood. He hated himself for putting her in danger. There comes in the avengers well some

Steve Natasha and Sam

"What's going on buck" Steve said

"She's going to die and it's everyone's fault because I couldn't propose because you couldn't stop them she has a bullet in her stomach she's struggling" he cried

"James it's okay just breathe" nat said sitting next to him "I can't just breathe when she can't breathe, she's apart of me... three years of taking care of her when shes sick with a cold when she has an asthma attack when she's hurt, I'm there and the only time she needed me I couldn't stop it I didn't see the bullet coming neither did she" he hated himself.

The doctor finally came out, after hours of surgery, "can I talk to the fiance in private" the doctor swallowed thickly eyeing his chart in his hand, "we're all family here doc.." Steve rubbed his chin not ready to hear the news.

"Miss Andrews got hit in the pancreas, she lost a great amount of blood we were able to revive her until her body started to reject the treatment" bucky felt his stomach turn into knots his eyes get watery he wasn't ready to hear this, not her she didn't deserve this.. no one did but her specially.

"We lost her, we're so sorry for your loss." The doctor felt genuine, "can I see her" the doctor looked at the surrounding people "family" he nodded "just the fiance" he said everyone nodded their heads as bucky's heart bested loudly in his ears he knew something in his heart he had to see her know that shes gone.

He took those foot steps slowly behind the doctor seeing a few nurses and a doctor rushing into another room a few residents watching, he walked Into the room not prepared her lifeless body on the hospital bed, "mr barnes?" It was the emt from the ambulance he looked at him, he handed him a letter "while she was with me she talked about you and I thought maybe you would need this" he handed him the letter, to keep the patient up the emt usual starts conversation and that's what he did and these were the things she said about "her" bucky

He sat on a chair across from her lifeless body the blood hadn't fully drained from her, she just looks asleep he thought he read outloud to himself and her body, "my bucky he's so kind, you know he proposed to me tonight" he sad smiled he wasn't able to enjoy her laugh anymore "God I have to get back to him I can't leave him, I wasn't suppose to die tonight" he started to cry "I'm falling asleep...it's hard to fall asleep without him some nights I lay awake thinking he's in an unknown location and what if he dies and I don't know but now it's my fault glen? Gary you're Gary? he's Gary my bad John" his tears fell all over his lap his hand reached out for hers he could've swore he felt her touch him back, "tell that man I would've loved to be his wife I love him and I wish i could've saw the day I would walk down that aisle and kiss him" he stood up and kissed her forehead "oh caroline what am I gonna do without you hun.." he wiped his tears on his sleeve his covered in blood hands leaving marks on the paper.

"You really wanted to marry me, as much as I wanted to marry you and we couldn't have that I walked around for 4 months with that ring in my pocket I could've did it so much earlier but it's all my fault, it's my fault your gone if I would've proposed sooner" he cried angrily at himself, the doctor coming in telling him he had to go they had to prep her for removal.

Them wheeling her away was his last straw, when he got into the waiting room he left not even caring about nat steve or sam,

He approached a bar sitting on a stool his hands still covered in blood, shirt too, he was a wreck his hair everywhere he hasn't felt or looked like this in years, he saw a figure of a person standing next to him they sat next to him on a stool he looked for the first time it was a women, he did not care

"You don't look so good" the women said, "please leave me alone" was all he said she backed off with her hands in the air "just because something happened to you doesn't mean you're allowed to be a dick" she begin to get up when he put a hand on her aggressively "I just had to watch my fiancé die in my arms I think I'm allowed to be mad" her demeanor became soft "I'm sorry, I was having a shitty day I thought talking to someone would help" "her blood is on my hands and on my sweater I'm in pain she's dead I'm alone nobody knows what am going through right now" she nodded "I'm y/n, talk to me I'm a complete stranger tell me things you wouldn't tell someone you know go for it"

he got up from his chair going to the bathroom he washed his hands and his face pushing his hair back his eyes felt heavy the tiredness finally got to him.

"You wanna hear it, you give me no judgement no input unless I ask for it do you have yourself a deal?" He said with a hand out for an agreement which she took and they headed to a booth across from each other her and his beer bottles clashing "start off with your name" she asked

"James Buchanan Barnes apart of the avengers and I just lost my girlfriend of 3 years to a gunshot wound to the pancreas and my fiancé of three hours." She nodded her head "y/n fox I work for the GCPD and my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me with my best friend yesterday I lost my daughter 2 years ago she's been missing ever since" he clashed his beer bottle with hers "well we're in for a treat." He said taking a sip of his beer.

"You start" he said.

[hangonimevolving]

Craft Therapy

Between my dad’s illness, my uncle’s death, and some other random adulting I’ve had to do, the last few weeks have brought much stress, anxiety, grief and loss.  But curiously, they’ve brought great pleasure too.  Different people have different responses to crises.  I have come to recognize that my natural crisis response is to be flooded with a ton of creative energy, and a strong impulse to put things in order, plan, organize, execute, and analyze.  I also feel this almost manic urge to make myself useful to those who need help, and to be a source of comfort, calm, and assistance to those whose grief response is to fall apart, curl up, and have limited function.  There are probably some drawbacks to my way of handling grief - but at least for this phase of life, I’ve focused on using my natural response as an asset, or at least as a productive impulse, to tackle some events that were both planned and unplanned in our lives.

My dad’s whole ordeal took us from late August through mid-September.  I had been brainstorming and contemplating the kids’ Halloween costumes and my annual Trunk or Treat theme for weeks at that point, but once I returned from NOLA following Dad’s surgery, I knew it was time to spring into action.  The kids had selected their costumes way back over the summer, and amazingly they hadn’t deviated from their original ideas.  Vev wanted to be a blue whale, and Dey had stated a wish to be a lobster.  So it was clear to me that our family appeared to be gravitating towards ocean life as a costume theme this year.  Therefore, I decided my Trunk or Treat theme would reflect this preoccupation, and I titled our trunk “Discover the Sea!”.  

Then it came time to start costume planning and construction.  This took the necessary trips to Joann’s, to procure fabric and supplies....

... then a pattern was sketched out for the whale costume, using brown packing paper salvaged from an Amazon Prime shipping box.

Fabric was cut, pieced, and then sewn together...

Then began the process of strategizing batting and foam.

Flippers were created....

... and then inner lining fabric was procured, cut, and sewn, to make the two sides of the whale.  Each side became like a “pillowcase,” into which the foam could be inserted.

Oh, and prior to foam going in - I top-stitched some lines by hand, using embroider floss, to make the stripes and striations on the whale’s underbelly, similar to what a blue whale has.

*This project entailed WAY more hand-sewing than I usually do!  It was quite an education.  My thumbs still ache sometimes, weeks later, when I think about it!

Speaking of hand-sewing - it was time to make eyes for the whale.  I purchased a few sets of doll eyes from Amazon, and used these along with a hot glue gun, fabric, batting, and foam balls, to create a set of realistic (but maybe sorta creepy) eyes for the whale.  

Hand-sewing those eyes, with the eyelids, and then sewing them onto the whale, were both significant undertakings.  I’m surprised at myself!  

I didn’t photograph this next process very well, which is a shame, because it was also a new and challenging undertaking.  But for these costumes, I decided to work with craft wire for the first time.  I was using batting and foam to give the costumes three-dimensionality and texture, but I was concerned about the shape, and ensuring that certain parts of the costumes - specifically, the tails, for both whale and lobster - would be positionable in a cute way that would help people recognize what time of animals they were.  So, I bought this 3 mm craft wire off of Amazon:

And using a pair of wire cutters/pliers that I owned, I go to work making an “endoskeleton” for my whale, that involved two big oval “ribs” in the sides of the whale for support, that each fed into the fins of the tail to help them stay upright and give them shape.  After feeding the wires through the body and tail, I stuffed the tail full of foam and batting, then hand sewed it to the whale body.  I sewed on nylon webbing for straps, and the end result looked like this.

Not bad, eh?  

Then it was time to get cracking on the lobster costume.  Funny - for frame of reference with time, I started the whale on October 3, and finished on October 22.  Obviously, there were many disruptions to my work schedule in that time, including not one, but two trips to New Orleans, and a boatload of grieving.  But the result was, I had only about a week to get the lobster costume done.  So I was motivated.

Cutting began:

Then the batting and backing stages were undertaken, to make a simple apron of sorts:

Then came the creation of legs, which took WAYYY longer and was WAAAYYY harder than I thought it would be!  Using both sewing techniques to create casings, and the craft wire idea I’d had from before, I managed to make 8 of these bad boys in the end.  It was painful, though.

The result were eight tapered, but bendable/shapable legs.  These legs would need to be attached to the inner surface of the apron, and I confess I probably didn’t do as elegant a job of this as I could have - specifically, I could have made the legs, then sandwiched them between my apron layers, but I didn’t - I ended up hand-stitching them to the inside layer, which is considerably less professional, but oh well.  

Then I decided to create a hood for the costume, upon which eyes and antennae would be fitted.  This was yet another new venture for me; I’d never made a hooded garment before (I’ve hardly ever sewn garments in the first place).  I used a double layer of heavy-duty fusible interfacing to give the hood some stiffness and structure, and also to bear the weight of the eyes, which I constructed in a similar fashion to the whale eyes.  

I used a braided triple-strand of red pipe cleaners as the antennae, and created a makeshift grommet to hold them in place on the hood through a reinforced hole that I made with my KAM snap awl.  The result:

Then came the construction of the lobster tail.  I was actually pretty pleased with how this came out.  I made a fatter, puffier, and segmented version of the “pillowcase” using a pattern for a lobster tail that I sketched out on packing paper again.  I also made a pattern for the final “fan” of the tail, and used fabric with several layers of craft interfacing to make that the appropriate texture and stiffness.  

Like with the whale tail, I gave the lobster tail a craft wire “endoskeleton” that coudl be bent into an optimal curled shape if desired.  I didn’t bend either costume too much prior to the day of Halloween, because I didn’t want the wire to get too soft - but on the day of, I took the chance and went for it, and the results were awesome!  

An especially fun detail with this costume is, I was using a shiny stretch material for the red portions, as well as a matte jersey red fabric, just for visual interest - but for certain areas (the underbelly of the lobster, the underside of the tail, etc.), I had this synthetic, scaly, faux crocodile-esque peach fabric that really looked cool.  

Anyway, here’s the tail:

Oh - and the lobster tail was detachable.  I used KAM snaps and my snap press to make some sockets on the apron, and studs on the tail, so that it could be removed.  Reason?  There is NO way Dey could sit in this costume at school with the tail on :)  So I had to come up with a creative solution so that his entire school day, he wouldn’t have to be standing up like a horse!

The final stage of this costume was to make lobster claws, or “snappers,” as Dey called them.  I knew he’d be irritated if they went over his whole hand, like a mitten, so I did some strategizing and came up with a way for him to wear them on the backs of his hands, while keeping his hands free.

And presto!  I was done!  Here are some “day of” pictures.  I splurged and ordered both kids solid color t-shirts and bottoms from Primary, to be worn under the costumes:

I had an internal deadline for completion of the lobster costume as October 27, which would have given me a relaxed three days to work on my Trunk or Treat trunk and really enjoy the process.  

HA.  

Yeah, that deadline came, and it %^ing went.  Fast-forward to me scrambling to finish the lobster costume on October 28th, then 29th, amidst numerous technical difficulties, jammed bobbins, and cursing while sitting at my sewing machine.  This was my view all day, everyday, in the week prior to Halloween:

(feeling murderous)

I managed to do a little bit of detail work on my Trunk here and there during breaks from sewing, but the majority of the trunk was put together on October 30th (and the wee hours of October 31st).  The stages of preparation for my “Discover the Sea” trunk were as follows.

1.  Acquire materials.  Most of what I used for this trunk was salvaged from crap I had at home, or purchased at my local Dollar Tree.  I spent $44 at Dollar Tree, which in my book is kind of like saying I spent $600 in one shot at the grocery store :)  Its kind of a lot of money to spend at a store where everything is a dollar.

If you’re wondering - this is what $44 of goods looks like in the Dollar Tree checkout line:

A few things were bought at Walmart, and I did purchase a can of spray foam insulation from Home Depot.  The total expenses on this trunk were my most to date of any trunk I’ve designed: about $75.  Again, this is probably the last year I’ll ever do this (sniff) so I decided to go out with a bang.

2.  I had a rough vision of my trunk from the get go - I wanted a blue background, with a number of coral reefs in the foreground, and some strands of seaweed framing it all.  I wanted a number of schools of colorful fish swimming about the coral, too.  My vision of coral reefs included a brain coral, and I had a random idea about how to make one.  I was worried that in case it didn't work out, I’d need time to either brainstorm another method, or time to adjust to my vision without the brain coral - so the creation of the brain coral was one of the first things I did.

Ingredients for a brain coral:  dollar store rubber ball, tube of inexpensive silicone caulking from Walmart or Home Depot.  A box or something to hold the ball steady while you’re working.  And down the line - a can of spray paint in a coral reef-y color of your choice.

After making my brain designs on the ball, I knew it would need to cure at least 24 hours before painting - so I set to making the next most time-consuming element of the trunk: the fish.  Using some fish shape templates that I found for free on google and printed, and a stack of craft foam in different colors, a pack of adhesive google eyes and a little tub full of leftover fabric paint from some bygone project, I made about 5-6 long strands of 5-6 fish each.  I had angelfish, parrotfish, seahorse, jellyfish, and sea turtles of various sizes and color schemes.  After cutting out, painting, and allowing these items to dry, I stuck them onto lengths of invisible fishing line (ha! the irony) to be used in the trunk.

3.  Then it came time to assemble some of the coral reefs.

This started with the preparation of several cardboard boxes I’d been saving for the occasion (courtesy of Amazon Prime deliveries).  I filled each box partway with some cheap gravel from Home Depot, so that they’d be weighed down a little and not blow over in the wind...(messy work)

Then I taped the boxes shut, and on some, hot-glued dollar store floral foam on top in strategic places:

covered them with either brown packaging paper, or some gold glittery wrapping paper from the dollar store.

Then came making the coral.  Thanks to a number of awesome tutorials on Pinterest and Youtube like this one, I turned this...

Into these....

4.  I had corals, I had fish, but I feared I might need a few extra doodads to fill in blank spaces... so I employed my children’s help with a stack of dollar store coffee filters and cupcake liners, as well as more google eyes, to make some clams and oysters.  A pack of dollar store pearlescent christmas ornaments served as pearls in the clams’ mouths.  I also blew up some various shades of blue balloons to various sizes, to be used as “bubbles” in the ocean water, just in case I had dead space in the trunk tableau that needed filling.

5.  My spray foam insulation corals!  I almost forgot.  A $3 can of spray foam insulation, some bamboo skewers I had laying around the kitchen, plus some waxed paper laid on the grass, resulted in these:

 6.  I mentally prepped and kept ready the misc supplies I’d need on day-of:  sea-colored backdrops, courtesy of blue metallic disposable tablecloths; dollar store Christmas garlands to serve as seaweed.  Several long bungee cords to use as “belts” around my car’s lift gate, for securing the backdrops and fish strands in place.  And, of course, the toolbox of Trunk or Treat, which includes: scissors, masking tape, scotch tape, staplers, pins, etc.  I also borrowed a few of my kids’ ocean-relevant toys, like Vev’s stuffed animal octopus, Dey’s stuffed animal hammerhead shark, etc. to be placed in empty areas of the trunk and give it more marine life.

7.  I told myself this year I wouldn’t need to trouble myself with making a big sign for my trunk.  I have a small cute wood-framed chalkboard, and I used colored chalk to make a sign that said “Discover the Sea” with some cute cartoony art around it.  But - of course, at the last minute, I found myself making a sign garland with a pretty font and eye-popping colored craft foam, to give the whole thing a polished look.  It was my swan song after all.... again, had to go out with a bang.

Anyway.  SO.  How’d it turn out?  I think fairly well.

Boom.

I think it came out amazing.  I was really proud of it.  

Trunk or Treat is NOT a contest, there were no prizes handed out for trunks, and its all in good fun.  But for me, making this look awesome was not about impressions to other people.  I DESPERATELY needed something to look forward to, something to throw myself into, and something to make myself feel good, after a shitty few weeks.  Every time I look at these pictures, I smile.  I am really happy at how our trunk turned out, and I’m happy that when I look back on this season of my kid’s young childhood, I’ll remember one really fun and validating experience, and not only the heartbreaking challenges and losses that we faced this year.  

Another happy thing that emerged from our trunk - one of the teachers, Ms. K, who teaches for the 4-6 year old classroom, is going to be doing a huge project this spring where she decorates her entire classroom like an ocean scene.  She wants to do sort of a class skit on the story of “The Rainbow Fish,” a popular children’s book.  She really loved our trunk, and when she told me about her plan, I was SOOOO happy to tell her right away that when the time comes, I will gladly donate EVERYTHING I made for this trunk to her.  It would give me so much pleasure and satisfaction to know that the hours of labor I put into making these coral reefs will go on to be used in another setting, for the kids’ benefit.  I hope that we can make it work out!

Anyway.  So, this was it - my Trunk or Treat SWAN SONG!  I have enjoyed every year that I’ve participated in this event, and am very grateful that this year, the experience could be therapeutic and uplifting.  I’ll post a briefer entry next with a retrospective of Halloween costumes I’ve made for my kids, as well as side-by-sides of my trunks over the years.  I also look forward to sharing the crafting projects I’ve been cooking up in the weeks since Halloween - there are a few!  

Here’s to craft therapy.  Love it, love it, love it.

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

my lovely beautiful mother @lielith asked this, I’m sorry Tumblr freaked out and deleted all my text reply to your ask .-. I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3 <3 <3

this is going to be all the even numbers from this post, I’m putting it under the cut bc it’s a bit long XD <3

2. what does your name mean (either literally, or to you personally)

OKAY SO when I was about 8 my Mum bought me this book:

(please pardon my star blanket) and I was obsessed with it bc DOGS!!!1!!!!!!!1! and one of the characters’ names was Matthias, and I remember thinking “wow Matthias is such a cool name, I wish my name could be Matthias.” AND LIKE NEWS FLASH LITTLE-MATT, GUESS WHAT, IT IS!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D <3 <3 <3 (Also it wasn’t toooooo dissimilar to my deadname, so it wasn’t much of a jump - it even means the same thing - ‘gift of God’ - even if it is terribly inaccurate if put into context with me X’D 

also yes I still have the exact book I got my name from bc :’)

4. what was the most helpful in figuring out and accepting yourself as trans?

Experimenting. Especially online since I had no fucking idea how my folks were going to react. Going by different pronouns/a different name, trying on different types of clothes, cutting my hair, trying to walk a bit different and letting myself come out of my shell a bit to act more like me rather than trying to hide everything away. Just find a safe space to experiment, and do research. Lots and lots of research. And also knowing that it’s 110% okay to change your mind about anything at any time is nice. <3

The biggest tip I would give to anybody questioning their gender and/or sexuality though is: do not come out until you are comfortable in yourself first and do not let anybody pressure you into coming out before then, even yourself. Trust me. Don’t make the same mistake I did because it will make everything a billion times harder.

6. what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?

God not having to have my anxiety through the roof thinking that somebody’s gonna notice my chest. I cannot wait to get top surgery I need it so bad. I can’t remember the last time I relaxed in a public space - in any space, really. It’s just a constant thing. Also starting T at some stage and getting a deeper voice and hopefully getting rid of most of the feminine curves bc ugh on women they’re amazing but on me *insert gagging noises here*. Also hopefully having less and less dysphoria would be nice :’)

8. who was the first person you came out to (or plan to come out to)?

My former best friend/abuser. And honestly even though she was the world’s biggest abusive manipulative bitch, she did that right and supported me and made me feel very comfortable. Though looking back that may have been because she liked the idea of having a trans person as a best friend but eh, it helped me at the time so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. have you ever been to pride?

No, I haven’t. ://// :(((( I really really really wanted to go this year but with the big move and all that, I couldn’t. So NEXT YEAR IS THE YEAR, BABY!! :D :D <3 <3

12. what gives you the most gender euphoria?

Already answered here! <3

14. what’s your favorite trans joke or meme?

Honestly all of them but this one wins atm from sheer relateble-ness X’D

16. do you have any piercings?

Nope!! I don’t really have any plans to get any, but I’m not against the idea!! :D

18. what do you wish other people understood better about being trans?

That we’re just people. Who want to do people things like pee in a public toilet without being harassed or potentially attacked and who want to feel comfortable in our bodies.

20. what advice would you give your younger self?

“YOU’RE A BOY YOU TREMENDOUS DUMBASS!!!!!” uhh, apart from that, tell myself that A) it’s gonna be okay, and B) not to let anybody else dictate who you are, it’s your life, nobody else’s.

22. do you find yourself fitting into gender roles, or consider yourself gender non-conforming?

I mean... what are gender roles?? Most of what are considered a man’s ‘gender roles’ are just harmful toxic masculinity under a thin veneer. I like to be able to support and protect my loved ones in every way, I want to be a strong, solid presence, I like the colour blue, tattoos, very masculine clothes, rolling around in the mud, being physically strong, but then again so do many women. I also like the colour yellow, have died my hair pink, and don’t always subscribe to the ideas that many men seem to have. I don’t want to be “the head of the household” because I want my partner and I to be equal and have mutual respect for one another. What even is gender and gender roles?? 

24. any trans role models?

MY TRANS FRIENDS. <3 But otherwise, no, not really?? I don’t really trust people enough to have role models lmao.

26. what makes you most proud to be part of the trans community?

Umm...I don’t really know. Honestly, I think there’s a lot of toxicity in the trans community and I try to avoid it. :/// But I do like that we keep on getting up and raising our voices and that we don’t give up. :D

28. if you went by multiply names before deciding your current name, which was the first?

OOF I sort of always leaned toward Matthias but I thought about Chance for a while?? Until I decided that if I wanted to I could have that as my middle name. So I didn’t really debate for longer than two weeks or so. XD I also thought about Ben too lmao X’D

30. if you experience dysphoria, what do you find helps you the most?

Ugh. Just avoiding it really. I put on my baggiest clothes, burrito myself up in a blanket and try to ignore it until it fades a bit. Or focus on the things I can and will do in the future to get rid of it. But really there’s no way to help it, because you’re trapped in this body and it’s just a constant presence hanging over you. I just can’t wait till I get top surgery, that’ll help. :’)

32. which gender roles or cis beliefs do you find most ridiculous?

... All of it?? Idk man, gender is so weird. There are gay men who are absolutely 110% male who do drag and wear makeup and dresses. There’s straight women who are very masculine. Gender is only what you make it. If you feel like you’re a woman, you’re a woman no matter what you wear or what you do with your hair or if you wear makeup, same for men, and for non-binary people. Like really if you truly think about what defines gender, there’s nothing but what people make it for themselves.

As for cis beliefs, like some people don’t think a person’s trans till after they transition and get “The Surgery” like.... dudes.... why do you think the person was transitioning in the first place....??//?????//??/? XD

34. do you fit any trans stereotypes?

I mean I’m white so I certainly fit the media’s belief of what is the only type of trans person THE SHADE

I mean, I’m small and angry, so there’s that. And I do tend to have a few feminine mannerisms still I guess??? or maybe that’s just my butthead dysphoria speaking. And I also do stare at my chest for hours on end scowling and poking it sooo... X’D

[airagorncharda]

So tomorrow I’m getting top surgery!! Here’s some TMI thoughts on that, so I can get it out of my system! Or, as my friend put it, “Get it off [my] chest, eyyyyyy” (finger guns included)

So I’ve known that I wanted top surgery since I was at LEAST 16, and I have evidence that I had chest related dysphoria from as early as when I developed breasts. Which for me was like age 11. I’m excited about this finally happening, since I’m fucking 27 now, so it’s BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.

And my fiance is taking 2 weeks off to take care of me, which is great and basically takes all pressure off of me for my recovery. I took care of him after his surgery too, but still, I’m enormously grateful that he’s able to.

People keep asking me if I’m nervous or if I’m scared or if I’m excited. And the answer is yes, but maybe not in the ways people expect? And it’s all been rattling around in my head, so I figured I should just write it down. This way it’s no longer rattling around in my head, and also I’ll have a record of it for 10 years from now when I’ve inevitably forgotten most of this. And maybe other people will benefit from reading this too (whether it’s my friends who care what’s up with me, trans people wondering what it’s like for other trans people the day before surgery, or cis people who are curious and want to learn more about The Trans Experience [TM]). 

Issue #1

My parents want to be there at the hospital for the surgery, which is... a mixed bag? I do love my parents and they want to be supportive of me, and (maybe more than that) they’re scared for me because surgery is scary (more so to them than to me). And it’ll be nice to see them and it’s nice of them to want to be there, and it’s nice that they’re going to be doing grocery shopping and stuff too. I appreciate it all a lot. Buuut when my fiance had his surgery it ended up being just me at the hospital and it was VERY low stress as a result, so I’m a little worried having three people there (and having it be them) is going to be a source of stress? 

Also they’ve been supportive of me my whole life in so many ways, but me being trans is really not one of those ways. They’ve been VERY hesitant to support me about this in any way, and even though they’ve finally come around to seeing me as a guy, I’m still very wary of the whole issue with them. It’s taken so long, and been so frustrating, and I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now, nor should I have to when I’m FINALLY getting my surgery that I would have gotten YEARS ago if it weren’t for THEIR baggage and issues about my being trans.

Because of all that, I both appreciate their support, and also feel like it’s... I don’t know, too little too late to have the effect it should rightly have? I don’t feel like they support me as a trans person, I feel like they’ve just figured out they can’t stop me and grudgingly accepted that. So while I’m glad they WANT to support me, I don’t actually feel supported by them.

Issue #2 (where the TMI part starts to happen)

I really really really don’t want to lose sensation in my nipples. I enjoy sex and I enjoy nipple stimulation, and it’s one of the only things about my chest I’ve ever LIKED. It’s one of the reasons I’m choosing to get the type of procedure I’m getting (Inverted-T/T-Anchor), but even WITH this type of procedure, there’s STILL A CHANCE that I’ll lose sensation. Nerves aren’t in the same place in all people, and they’re microscopic so they might get cut depending on where in my tissue they are, so it’s possible that after tomorrow I’m never going to have sensation in my nipples again which is slightly freaking me out and makes me want to cry. 

The idea of not getting top surgery at all and having breasts forever makes me want to not exist, so there’s no contest, but if I do lose sensation I’ll be really upset about that. I’ve been avoiding focusing on it too much but it’s definitely stressing me out, and I’m not going to know one way or another until after I’m healing. 

Issue #3 

While I’m recovering, I’m going to be spending a lot of time in bed propped up on wedge pillows and unable to lift most things (anything over 5lbs is too much). This means that my cats, who love cuddling me and climbing up on my chest, are going to have to be exiled from our bedroom while I recover, which is of course when I’ll MOST want to cuddle them. I’m sad about that, and trying to get in as many kitty cuddles as I can before tomorrow.

Issue #4

I have come to the conclusion that I’m nonbinary, and while that has no effect on my desire to get top surgery, it DOES mean that how I talk about getting top surgery with people who don’t know I’m nonbinary (like my parents and my doctors) feels sort of uncomfortable and weird. 

Breasts don’t make anybody a gender, they just exist. The reason I’m getting mine removed is that they cause me physical discomfort through dysphoria, NOT because I’m a man (which I’m sort of not). I don’t like that people assume that getting them removed is going to make me feel more like a man, or that surgical transition means I’m binary. 

Issue #5 (more TMI)

And, relatedly, there are days and situations when I LIKE having breasts. I like they way they feel when they’re touched (especially during sex). I find them sort of amusing when I’m lying down and I can jiggle them. I find it hilarious that my cats like kneading on them, and I sometimes like cupping them with my hands and looking at my cleavage. 

I DON’T like looking at my body with them. I don’t like the way they feel when they move (especially during sex). I don’t like the way they feel against my arms when I’m trying to sleep, or they way they fit into clothing, or how clothing looks on me because of them, or the way I get acne on the underside of them because of sweat. 

But there ARE things about them I like, and on days when I feel less masculine, or when I’m relating really strongly to a character who has breasts, or when I’m having sex, I like things about having them that I’m never going to experience again after tomorrow, and that’s a little scary.

Issue #6

I didn’t get my newer laptop keyboard fixed, or my tablet fixed, so I won’t be able to make art, and I’ll be relegated to my old laptop for writing while I recover. This isn’t a big issue but it’s just mildly annoying. I prioritized other things (getting my car fixed, having a relaxing holiday, etc.), and I don’t regret it, but I do wish I had my tablet working.

Issue #7

When I got my wisdom teeth out, they gave me laughing gas to fall unconscious, and it gave me tunnel vision and totally freaked me out, and those like 3 seconds were the worst medical experience of my life. I'm nervous about that, because I don’t know if they’ll be giving me that again. 

Issue #8 (more TMI)

I’ve been temporarily off T for a while, and I currently have my period. Which is not timed very well, and I’ll have to figure out how to either put in a tampon without really moving my arms too much, or I’ll have to suffer with wearing pads and panties instead of boxers for a couple days, which will suck either way. Obviously I need to make sure if I’m wearing a tampon that it doesn’t stay in too long, which may be complicated since the medication I’ll be on for the first few days is likely to make me sleep a lot. On the other hand, panties are fucking uncomfortable and I’m not even sure I own any anymore. I could put a pad into a pair of boxers since I’m going to be barely moving? Or I could just layer a few old towels under me and give up. At least I’ve had it for a few days so it won’t be so heavy.

Now on to the things that are exciting:

Excitement #1

Not having fucking breasts, holy shit! 

As I said, I don’t like looking at my body with breasts, the way they feel when they move, the way they feel against my arms when I’m trying to sleep, they way they fit into clothing, how clothing looks on me because of them, or underboob sweat and the acne it causes. And without them, I won’t have to deal with any of that bullshit anymore!!

I’ll be able to fucking go clothes shopping and not want to burst into tears! I’ll be able to figure out what my actual preferred wardrobe aesthetic even IS and (since I asked for and received a bunch of clothing store gift cards for Christmas) I can actually BUY CLOTHES ACCORDINGLY for the first time in like 15 years (rather than just buying what’s cheapest and fits, that I don’t hate, like I have been).

Excitement #2

Sleep without dysphoria. I get dysphoria related insomnia periodically and it’s 99% of the time about my chest and how they feel against my arm or how I can’t lie on my front with them in the way or just literally that they exist, and then I get into a mental spiral about it and I can’t sleep. I am SO EXCITED to never have to deal with that bullshit again.

Excitement #3

Passing publicly. 

I have a lot of anxiety around being percieved as a woman, and despite having a short mustache and beard, I still sometimes get misgendered. Not having tits is going to help that, and it will make it way easier for me to go outside and be around people I don’t know without anxiety. 

Excitement #4

As I’ve said, my parents took a long long time to accept that I’m a guy. And while I am nonbinary, I’m on the demi-boy/trans masculine side of being nonbinary, so I still used he/him pronouns and would prefer for most people to think of me as a guy, or at least that masculine is preferable to feminine. My parents (and other people in my life outside my friend group) took a long time to use the right pronouns and the right name, and I think my parents especially only really accepted it once I was on T and started visually changing in a way they could really SEE.

So I’m basically excited for the prospect of my parents maybe fully accepting me even more than they have thus far. I don’t know if it’ll be something that I can observe, but at least it will be something I’ll feel like is happening.

Excitement #5

Spooning. Being big spoon with breasts has it’s own appeal, but I already know I’m going to enjoy it more without them.

Excitement #6

Swimming. I want so badly to be able to swim without tits. Both because I will be able to go to the beach and not be immediately misgendered, AND because swimming with tits is just... it’s honestly just uncomfortable? And I get like sand and seaweed under them?? And I hate it?? 

Excitement #7 

Looking at myself in the mirror. 

I honestly just don’t do that at this point, because it causes dysphoria. I’d really like to be able to see what I look like. If that means I decide to change other things (exercise more or get a tattoo or literally anything) then that’s cool, but mostly I just... have barely even really looked at my own body in years and I’m excited to be able to.

I have a very hard time perceiving what I actually LOOK like, in terms of overall shape as well as attractiveness or anything, because my brain hyperfocuses on my breasts and they skew the whole image. I want that to be gone, and after tomorrow... it actually finally, FINALLY will be.

Excitement #8

All the comfort foods I’m gonna get to eat while recovering. I’m looking forward to mac and cheese, baked turkey and chicken, pudding cups, egg custard, mashed potatoes, ginger ale, and ice cream. My parents are going to bring over groceries which is going to be tremendously helpful and also makes me feel sort of like a little kid being actually taken care of when I was sick, which was nice. Getting active support from my parents is a weird sort of guilty pleasure. They support me in a lot of ways, but they’re also usually busy and I’m not good at asking for support from them either, so it doesn’t often happen at this point.

Excitement #9

My fiance has TWO WEEKS OFF to take care of me, which means we get to chill out in bed for two week, playing Pokemon and Tales of Berseria (which we got for Christmas), and watching Galaxy Quest and Ever After and Pride and Prejudice (which I also asked for for Christmas), and hanging out. I’m excited for him to be able to have a nice break and I’m excited to chill out with him even if it’s while I’ll be drugged up and recovering.

And on to some things that are neither exciting nor issues:

Thing #1

I was supposed to have a noon appointment, and on Friday they called and said they’d rescheduled it to earlier in the morning? Apparently they can and do reschedule surgeries without asking the patient first?? This seems really fucked up to me, BUT I’m glad that my appointment is earlier because it gives me a better chance of being able to go home the same day.

Thing #2 

My parents are going to be there for my surgery, and then when the doctor tells us what we need to get from the drug store, my fiance is taking me home and THEY’RE going to go buy all the stuff and bring it over. That way he doesn’t have to stop at CVS on the way home with me in the car, or leave me at home to go get them. I highly recommend this for anyone who has surgery, and more than one person willing to look after them.

Thing #3

I hope I’m awake and mentally with it enough to at least listen to my DnD group the day after my surgery. I’m totally not going to be, but I hope I am. I haven’t had to miss a session yet, and I love playing DnD with these guys!

Thing #4

I hope I can at least come downstairs some to hang out around my cats and the Christmas tree before it gets taken down for the season. I love how our tree always looks, and I’ll be a little sad if I have to stay mostly upstairs for like 2 weeks and then it goes away.

Summary:

People keep asking if I’m scared or nervous or excited. And like, the answer is yes to all of those things, but maybe not how people expect. 

I’m not scared that the surgery is going to go wrong and kill or mutilate me or something. I’m scared I’ll lose nipple sensation, that laughing gas will be unpleasant, and that my cats are going to think I don’t like them anymore for the next three weeks.

I’m not nervous that I’ll get scars or won’t be satisfied with the results or something. I’m nervous that I’ll be really bored, miss DnD, and have more trouble relating to characters who have breasts after I don’t anymore.

I’m not excited to “look like a man” (whatever that means). I’m excited to go swimming, and sleep on my front sometimes, and buy new clothes, and eat comfort food with my fiance while he has two weeks off from work.

It’s a complicated thing, and very personal, and different for everyone. No one else is likely to have exactly the same experience as me. 

I just needed to get this down before I go do laundry, eat dinner, take a shower, and cuddle my cats, because I have to be at the hospital in 12 hours. And I’m nervous, and scared, and excited. 

[love-skincareroutine]

How To Tighten Loose Skin On Arms Naturally

New Post has been published on https://skin-care-routine.com/skin-care-routine/how-to-tighten-loose-skin-on-arms-naturally/

How To Tighten Loose Skin On Arms Naturally

A. How To Tighten Loose, Sagging Skin On Arms

The term “bingo wings” is often used as a joke, but it hides the fact that many men and women worry about loose or flabby skin on their arms. The flabby skin in this area can affect a person’s life – they may be reluctant to raise their arms or wave in public. Loose skin can also determine how comfortable it is – some prefer to overheat in a long-sleeved top rather than exposing their arms.

There are several reasons why you may have sagging skin under your arms. Even those who are thin can suffer from a lack of muscle tone in the upper arm, while others suffer from sagging skin under the arms due to hormonal imbalance as they age, with testosterone deficiency often being cited as the culprit. .

It is also very common for sagging skin to be caused by rapid weight loss, which usually leaves excess skin behind. We often see inspiring stories in the media of people who lost weight with changes in diet and exercise, or through a gastric band, but covering up the excess skin that remains after losing the pounds. Whatever the reason, loose skin on the arms can lead to a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem for many people. So, what can you do to tighten the loose skin on your arms?

1. Swim regularly

When swimming, always move your arms and do a great low-impact exercise to work out under your arm.

Swimming is recommended for many people because it is very gentle – even for people with arthritis or diabetes.

When swimming, focus on moving your body more with your arms than your legs to increase the toning benefits.

2. Subscribe for pilates or yoga

Both Pilates and Yoga are very gentle, yet effective methods for strengthening your muscles. You can ask the teacher to show you certain movements that would tension your arms and then practice them in the comfort of your home. As a bonus, you will also improve your posture and strengthen your core muscles.

3. Programming in some daily press-ups

Push-ups are of high intensity and test the arm muscles to the limit, which helps to develop more arm muscles along the arm.

Many people avoid push-ups because they simply assume that they cannot. Fortunately, there are several gradations of push-ups that will allow you to perform this exercise without necessarily having significant upper body strength.

If you feel that you cannot do traditional push-ups, try to keep your knees on the floor. If it is too difficult, you can do push-ups against the wall.

4. Add some daily chair dips

Chair diving is something you can easily do at home. Stand with your back to a chair and place your hands behind your back on the front edge of the chair with your fingers. Then lower your body until there is a 90 degree angle between your ankles and your thighs. Keeping your back straight, inhale while your lower body flexes your elbows and exhale while extending your elbows to raise your body.

Safety should come first – there are many videos on YouTube that properly demonstrate this exercise. You also need to make sure that the chair you are using is stable and does not tip over. Ideally, place it against a wall for extra support.

5. Keeping hydrated

If you don’t drink enough water, you will find it difficult to lose fat deposits in your arms. Try to drink at least eight glasses of water (2 liters) a day. In addition, drinking cups of dandelion tea with a pinch of ginger helps to naturally decrease fluid retention.

6. Endermology research

Endermologie is a popular non-surgical treatment and procedure for cellulite that uses mechanical rollers to massage the skin and improve skin tone. It is a very safe procedure with no downtime, but if the skin is loose, the results are likely to be very small and you will need several treatments.

7. Observe the radio frequency

Radio frequency (RF) stimulates the production of collagen and elastin to tighten, lift and tighten the skin. This treatment is best used when the loose skin on the arms is light. You would also need repeated treatments, but the procedure is extremely safe, with no downtime.

8. Watch the coolsculpting

Without anesthesia and without downtime, CoolSculpting is the ideal treatment to tone your arms and target the fat cells under your skin without harming your own skin. The treated fat cells are crystallized (frozen) and then die. Over time, your body naturally processes fat, getting rid of dead cells, making your arms look molded. A consultation will determine if CoolSculpting is the right treatment for you. In addition to firming the loose skin of the arms, it is perfect for toning the thighs, stomach and even the chin.

9. Observe the arm lift surgery (bracioplasty)

If you have tried to reduce and tighten the flabby or flabby skin of your arms through exercise and diet, but have not achieved the desired results, brachioplasty surgery can help tighten the flabby skin on your arm. There are also cases where surgery is the only way to completely remove excess skin – especially if someone has lost a significant amount of weight.

If you are nervous about the idea of ​​surgery, rest assured that this type of plastic surgery will not be considered particularly painful. With proper painkillers and recovery time, discomfort is minimal, so you’ll feel confident to reveal your arms in no time.

  B. 5 exercises to tighten and tone your arms for summer

Add this 10-minute torso routine to your regular workout to exercise your limp arms for the summer. We all have these problem areas that we know about and want to improve. Maybe it’s your belly or your buttocks. For many, arms are at the top of the list, and this is the time of year when that insecurity comes to the fore. The good news is that by adding the right exercises to your exercise routine, you can build your arm muscles very quickly. One of my clients added a 5-minute arm routine to his typical exercise routine and noticed a change after just three sessions. Within a week, she was already feeling more confident in her tops and sleeveless dresses.

If strengthening and toning your arm is on your list of summer goals, add these exercises to your exercise routine three times a week. I recommend doing this with 3-5 pound dumbbells. Remember that some exercises may be easier than others. So there is no problem in switching between weights, depending on what is suitable for your body. My favorite way to put these exercises together is to do a series of 10 repetitions at a time and then repeat the entire circuit three times. At the end, complete a total of 30 repetitions of each exercise.

1. Bicep curls

The biceps curl is the arm exercise par excellence. It strengthens and strengthens the front of the arms, which many people associate with the ability to “flex a muscle”.

To perform this exercise, hold your dumbbells and start with your arms at your sides. Embrace your elbows at your sides, then roll the weights toward your shoulders. Be careful not to swing your arms. (If you need to swing your arms and use momentum to increase weight, you are probably using a very heavy weight). Repeat 10 times, doing 3 sets in total during training.

2. Triceps kickback

Triceps are what people refer to when they say their arms are limp. This is the part of the arm that sways when you wave. (During one of my training sessions for the “Today Show”, Kathie Lee called them bat wings!) To tone this area and reduce “wobble” you need to strengthen the back of your arms. The most basic dumbbell exercise to achieve this is a setback in the triceps. Hold the weights with both hands and lean forward with your back straight. Hug your elbows towards your body and pull them towards the ceiling. Keeping your elbows steady, kick the weight to the back of the room by moving the lower half of your arm back and up towards the ceiling. Hold for a second, feel your arm tighten and then release it back to the starting position. Repeat 10 times and complete a total of 3 sets during training.

3. Hug a tree

This exercise works the biceps from a different angle while working the sides of the chest (and the uncomfortable area under the armpits) and sculpting the shoulders. Keep the weights parallel to the floor at shoulder level. Relax your shoulders and hug your arms towards your body as if you were hugging a tree. Keep your elbows level with your shoulders – don’t let them fall – and make sure your shoulders are raised towards your ears, which means that the weight is too heavy or you are too tired. Repeat 10 times and complete a total of 3 sets during training.

4. Serve the dish

This movement is a three in one movement that works the biceps, shoulder and chest. Start with your arms at your sides and bend your elbows 90 degrees. Extend your arms forward as if you were serving a plate, then extend it to the side in the “T” position, back to the center and pull it towards you again. Keep your palms facing up at all times. Repeat 10 times and complete a total of 3 sets during training.

5. Exercises V

The best toner for the front of the shoulder is exercise V. For this exercise, keep the dumbbells pressed against your hips. Then, extend the weights in an forward and upward angle, draw a V and drop them back down toward your hips. Keep your arms straight throughout the exercise. Repeat 10 times and complete a total of 3 sets during training.

  C. Tips for How to Tighten Loose Skin

We offer products that we believe are useful to our readers. If you buy through the links on this page, we can earn a small commission. Here is our process. Flabby skin can be frustrating and affect self-esteem. While there are many ways to develop loose skin, once you have it, it can be difficult to reverse it.

The causes of loose skin can be:

Weight loss

Pregnancy

The effects of aging

Common places where people have loose skin are:

Belly

Guy

Neck

Buttocks

Weapons

Legs

Although cosmetic surgery can help improve flabby skin, there are many options for people who prefer to avoid medical procedures.

These options include:

Exercise

Firming products

Non-surgical procedures

Weight loss

Massage

Here are six ways to stretch loose skin.

1. Firming creams

A good choice for a firming cream is one that contains retinoids, says Dr. Alyson Wells, owner and medical director of Valley Plastic Surgery and Medi-Spa.

Retinoids are chemical derivatives of vitamin A and include:

Tretinoin

Retinoic acid

Adapalene

They increase the proliferation, maturation and renewal of skin cells, says Wells.

She also suggests using creams that contain hyaluronic acid, which attracts and retains water molecules. Hyaluronic helps:

Reduce the depth of wrinkles

Increases skin firmness

Reduction of skin roughness

Wells recommends avoiding skin products containing lanolin because the rate of contact dermatitis (skin allergic reaction) associated with it is steadily increasing.

2. Supplements

Although there is no magic pill to repair loose skin, certain supplements can help.

3. Exercise

Increasing muscle mass through strength training exercises can help to reduce the appearance of loose skin, especially if loose skin is caused by weight loss. When excess fat stretches the skin for long periods of time, the skin may lose some of its ability to shrink with weight loss. Replacing this lost fat with muscle mass can reduce the appearance of loose skin.

If you have flabby skin after a recent pregnancy, consult a doctor before exercising, as certain movements may occur that you should avoid. One form of exercise that has not been effective on flabby skin is the facial. Although facial exercises have been popular since the 1960s, little research has shown that these exercises actually help to tighten loose skin.

4. Lose weight

Stubborn oiliness under the skin can make the skin look loose. This type of fat is known as subcutaneous fat. If you pinch the problem area and there is more than a few millimeters of skin, subcutaneous fat will be present. The loss of this oil can tighten the skin.

5. Massage the area

Massaging loose skin can increase blood flow and create an anti-aging response. A Trusted Source study looked at the effects of a skin massage in conjunction with an anti-aging skin cream. The study showed that regular massage with an oscillating massager operated by hand increased the positive effects of the cream. In addition to the massage, you can also use a salt or sugar scrub to increase blood circulation.

6. Cosmetic procedures

Many non-surgical procedures can help with loose skin.

These procedures include:

Chemical peels. Removing the outer layer of old skin can reduce the appearance of loose, flabby or wrinkled skin on the face and neck. After the old skin loosens, the skin underneath is usually less wrinkled and smoother.

Ablative laser treatment. This procedure is also known as “laser peeling”. It is similar to a chemical peel in that it removes the outermost layer of old skin. The laser also heats the layers under the top layer. This heat promotes the production of collagen.

Hardening of the skin by ultrasound. This procedure uses heat to stimulate collagen production. The concentrated ultrasound energy is transmitted through the skin’s surface to heat the deeper layers.

High frequency treatments. This is another form of safe energy transfer that heats the skin to induce collagen production. This method focuses on the outer layer of the skin.

Combined IPL / RF treatments. These treatments combine intense pulsed light (IPL) and radio frequency (RF). The process heats the outer and deep layers of the skin to facilitate collagen production.

Neuromodulators. This treatment is often known as botox. Botulinum toxin, known to relax wrinkles, is injected into the skin. Although not the most holistic procedure, it requires minimal recovery time and reduces the appearance of loose skin when injected into specific areas where the muscles are working in opposition.

All of these are examples of minimally invasive and non-surgical techniques for reducing loose skin. Surgery is also available to remove loose skin. These are called body contouring operations. Body contouring can also be referred to as a folding or lifting operation. They involve making an incision and removing excess fat and skin. These surgeries usually require hospitalization followed by a rest period at home. If other loose skin tightening techniques are not producing the desired results, consult a doctor to determine if body contouring is the right choice for you.

7. Summary

Flabby skin can be problematic, but there are several ways to minimize or reduce it. Collagen is an important factor in skin elasticity. Increasing the body’s collagen production is a way to reduce loose skin. You can also take steps to prevent the development of loose skin, such as:

Smoke

tan

Use of skin products with aggressive chemicals

[anniejanuaryz]

I got tagged

I got tagged in a lot of stuff, sorry for only doing them now! If any of you want to do one of them or all of them, feel free to say I tagged you! So ...

I was tagged by @occulant, thank you, love! <33

A - Age: 18

B - Birthplace: Bavaria, Germany

C - Current Time: 05:01 pm

D - Drink You Last Had: apple spritzer

E - Easiest Person to Talk to: My best friend Paige

F - Favourite Song: too many help

G - Grossest Memory: as a piece of wood got stuck in my wrist yikes

H - Horror Yes or Horror No: horror yes

I - In Love: nope

J - Jealous of People: always, sadly

K - Killed Someone: only in my head

L - Love at First Sight or Should I Walk by Again: should I walk by again

M - Middle Name: shhhh

N - Number of Siblings: one brother

O - One Wish: happiness

P - Person You Called Last: my mum

Q - Question You Are Always Asked: “how are you so tall?”

R - Reason to Smile: my family and friends

T - Time You Woke Up: 01:30 pm

U - Underwear Colour: black

V - Vacation Destination: I wanna go to norway

W - Worst Habit: sleeping in

X - X-rays: many times, I’m a walking mess

Y - Your favourite food: pancakes

Z - Zodiac Sign: libra

I was tagged by @maebeamermaid, thanks, love! <33

RULES: List ten of your favourite characters in ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people.

Draco Malfoy - Harry Potter

Zuko - The Legend of Aang

Renee Walker - All for the Game

Bucky Barnes - Marvel

Lance Sweets - Bones

Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds

Even Bech Naesheim

Nathan Prescott - Life is Strange

Josh - Until Dawn

Malia Tate - Teen Wolf

Tagged by @thecenturionwasawerewolf, @strikingneil and @matthais, thanks, loves! <33

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

LAST…

[1] drink: apple spritzer [2] phone call: my mum [3] text message: ally [4] song you listened to: hakuna matata [5] time you cried: idek? on monday

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: what is date, lmao [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: i’m a kiss-virgin [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: it’s my constant state, my dude [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: one time

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] purple [14] dark green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes, here <3 [16] fallen out of love: for that i must’ve been in love before, so [17] laughed until you cried: definitely [18] found out someone was talking about you: that’s not any news, but yeah [19] met someone who changed you: all my friends on here <3 [20] found out who your true friends are: i still don’t know, tbfh [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: kiss-virgin

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: two? it’s pretty private bc i don’t really trust others [23] do you have any pets: yes, a cat named mia, my treasure <3 [24] do you want to change your name: yeah, to malia [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i think sleep, ahaha [26] what time did you wake up: around 01:30 pm rip [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: chatting [28] name something you cannot wait for: travelling [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: half an hour ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: everything [31] what are you listening to right now: can you feel the love tonight [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope [33] something that is getting on your nerves: people. life. [35] elementary: i was already tol [36] high school: finally i can leave this prison behind [37] college: they haven’t answered yet [38] hair colour: brown with former blue ombré (it’s greenish now) [39] long or short hair: long hair [40] do you have a crush on someone: nah [41] what do you like about yourself?: i feel with people a lot [42] piercings: do earrings count? then yes [43] blood type: no clue [44] nickname: nat/nati [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: libra [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: teen wolf [49] tattoos: nope [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: had none [52] piercing: i got my first earrings with four [53] best friend: my cousin, @she-means-everything and @parttimemoonshine [55] vacation: alpine [56] pair of trainers: idk

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: apple spritzler [59] I’m about to: fall asleep [60] listening to: still can you feel the love tonight [61] waiting for: a miracle [62] want: cuddles [63] get married: what [64] career: lol

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: kisses [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: younger [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? kiss-virgin [75] drank hard liquor? yep [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? yep [77] turned someone down: for that someone needs to ask me out first, lol [78] sex on first date? ^ [79] broken someone’s heart? i damn hope so, they deserved it [80] had your own heart broken? many times [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? yes? [83] fallen for a friend: shhhh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? lmao [85] miracles? sometimes [86] love at first sight? yep [87] santa claus? nope [88] kiss on the first date? definitely [89] angels? maybe

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: katrin, abigail, hannah [91] eye colour: brown-green [92] favourite movie: too many

I was tagged by @fannist, thank you, love! <333

One Word Tag

where is your phone? here

your hair? tied-up

your dad? working

your other half? away

your favorite food? pancakes

your dream last night? weird

your favorite drink? coke

fear? mood

favorite shoes? comfy

favorite way to relax? bed

your mood? anxious

your love? food

where were you last night? bed

something that you aren’t? happy

muffins? yes

wishlist item? books

where you grew up? home

last thing you did? tag

what are you wearing? pyjama

something you hate? people

your pets? cat

life? ugh

regrets? many

Tagged by @wesawbears, thanks, love! <33

Favorite Color: blue! Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick Last song I listened to: “he lives in you” Last Movie I watched: john wick 2 Top 3 characters: ummmm, renee walker, kevin day, malia tate? help? Top 3 ships: kandreil, jerejean, stalia Books/Manga: too many, don’t Top 5 Musicals: I’ve only ever been to one musical and that was at our school, rip me

I was tagged by @maebeamermaid and @aamendoza, thanks, loves! <33

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better

Name: Natalie

Nickname: Nat/Nati

Zodiac sign: libra

Height: 6 ft

Orientation: bisexual

Nationality & Ethnicity: german

Favorite fruit: strawberry

Favourite season: spring

Favourite book: all for the game

Favourite flower: rose

Favourite scent: chocolate

Favourite color: blue

Favourite animal: cats

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea

Average hours of sleep: everything between 4-14 hours

Cats or dogs: cats

Number of blankets you sleep with: one or two

Dream trip: norway, great britain

Blog created: january 2016

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[hopingforbabyblog]

Even though this vacation to Nevada has been really relaxing I wish I would have planned it for a couple weeks earlier. The first reason being that this particular January has been exceptionally cold in Alaska, and I wish I would have gotten out of our cold snap sooner. The second reason I feel like I planned my vacation a little too late is the timing of it fell within the crucial three-month window prior to FET. The three months prior to FET are important for building up a thick uterine lining to improve the odds of embryo implantation. I’m not aware of definitive evidence that stress in and of itself causes implantation issues, but I do believe that stress can contribute to poor health decisions (i.e., drinking, smoking, overeating) that can in turn affect implantation.

I tend to get stressed when I travel at times. A delayed flight, waiting in a crowded airport, and squishing like anchovies into the ever-shrinking plane seats are just some of the typical stressors when flying. But now the news is talking about the threat of coronavirus. To top it off both of the airports I went through (Anchorage and Las Vegas) had confirmed cases of coronavirus. I later learned the news seemed to overinflate the actual severity of the issue, using dramatic language that might lead viewers to believe it’s an epidemic, knowing that helped put my mind at ease somewhat. A few years back the major risk to pregnant women and women TTC was the Zika virus. I think if you want to play it as safe as possible don’t schedule a vacation during your three months prior to FET, unless it’s a ‘staycation’ or you are traveling for your actual FET.

Catch-up on Previous FET Prep Posts

FET Prep Week 1: 3.5 months until FET

FET Prep Week 2: Supplements, WTF Email, & Increased AMH Level

FET Prep Week 3: You say Future Tripping, I say Future Planning

FET Prep Week 4: Bad News from SIS Test

FET Prep Week 5: Surgery, Depression & Trip to Nevada

Countdown Until FET: 69 days (as of 02-15-2020)

Taking it Easy

You know the type of vacations where you are go, go, go non-stop with so many activities and you have a specific plan for each day, well I chose not to do any of that for this one and it has been working out pretty well. Although we’ve been busy, it’s been nice to not be the ‘planner’ and to just go along with whatever everyone else wants to do. This vacation, I chose to just let go and take it easy. I’ve been to Nevada a few times before and already saw the major must-see things, so I didn’t feel the urge to create a must-see list this time around. I just let my husband and mother-in-law plan the events.

I think this vacation has been a nice balance of relaxing and also going to different events. It’s nice to go to bed and not have to set an alarm for the morning. It felt like such a luxury to be able to sleep in as long as I wanted. There were only a couple days that were warm enough to be outside in the sun since we’ve been here. It’s been crazy windy, so much so that they actually have a high wind warning in effect. The wind is so strong it sometimes shakes the house. It was kind of funny to see about 40 tumbleweeds whip across the street at the same time. Not a good time to go for a walk and catch a prickly tumbleweed to the face. No thanks. I’ll stay inside until it dies down. It’s also been cold outside most of this week, in the 30s and 40s mostly. I learned this cold snap in Nevada was pushing down from Alaska. How typical, just when we try to leave Alaska’s cold weather it follows us.

  This wind is redonkulous! One of the many windy days on our vacation. 

  Okay this one turned out better, with less wind whipping my hair around.

  So although the weather has been crappy most of the week while on vacation, we still had fun doing other things. We saw Shin Lim, the magician, at his Vegas show. Normally I am not into magic shows, but this guy I swear is a true wizard. I saw him on America’s Got Talent, where he showed a card to the camera and somehow was able to make the numbers on the card actually change. Here is his show on AGT where he does that trick at the 20:00 minute mark. How in the actual eff did he do that? I was definitely impressed with his show in Vegas. I won’t give away too many details of the show, but it is definitely entertaining and I highly recommend you go check him out.

I also went to my first Tournament of Kings show, and I nearly s**t myself several times when the pyrotechnics went off. I felt like an idiot with how many times I screamed with each burst of fireworks. You definitely won’t fall asleep with this show, I’ll tell you that! So if you aren’t familiar with the Tournament of Kings, it’s a show where the performers act out a medieval storyline. The audience sits circled around the actors as they have epic battles using swords and also do jousting with real horses. 

    We did some other cool things on our trip too. We drove to Mount Charleston. I didn’t expect to see snow in Nevada, so that was pretty cool (cheesy pun intended).

    Of course we went to a handful of different casinos and tried our luck on the slots. Well, I mostly watched Kurtis try his luck on the slots. I’m not much of a gambler. The first time I ever visited Vegas years ago I had very little money. I would go from casino to casino and sign up for their players club card, where you would get free plays on the slots. It wasn’t worth much, maybe $10-$15 but it was still fun to try it out and not worry about losing money. I did a little of that this time also. I tend to enjoy playing bingo more than slots. The first time I ever played bingo back home I won $1,000, beginners luck of course.

  Keeping up with Supplements While on Vacation

I am not being super strict about following a diet while on vacation, although I could have been. I had a very laissez faire approach with my FET prep while on vacation. Although I did try to consistently take my supplements.

Here’s what I did to help me stay on top of taking my supplements while on vacation:

Reuse old prescription bottles for free pill organization.

Take a marker and write on the cap when you plan to take your medicine. For example I wrote “AM” on the ones I take with breakfast and “PM” on the ones I take with lunch. Since I am also taking L-arginine multiple times throughout the day I decided to create my own travel bottle specifically for that supplement. 

Set phone reminders to take supplements.

Most supplements for FET prep recommend taking with a meal. But if you are not yet in the habit of remembering to take your pills after you eat, setting an alarm in your phone can be really helpful to make sure you don’t miss your dose. You can remind yourself in other ways like putting a post it note on your mirror or refrigerator. Do whatever works for you.

Keep a snack in your purse at all times.

This snack should be your designated backup in times when you cannot have an actual meal with your supplements. For example, if you are going on a long road trip or flight and you are unsure of when you will be able to have a meal with your supplements, that snack in your purse will help you to stay on track with your supplement schedule. 

  The Game Changer

I plan on adopting in the future, whether I have a biological child or not. And I’ve considered adopting through the foster care system. But what is one of the biggest obstacles that keeps so many people from starting the path to becoming a foster parent? I’d say it’s becoming attached emotionally to raising a child who after some time ends up going back to their biological family. I can honestly say I am not ready at this point in my life to handle that possibility. I’ve read articles and memoirs from foster parents who say it was one of the most painful experiences of their life. Some said it was as painful as grieving the death of a loved one.

I’ve been visiting my husband’s family in Nevada this past week, and my mother-in-law was a foster parent. I explained to her that one of my hesitations for becoming a foster parent was that I didn’t know if I was emotionally ready to handle getting attached to a child that would end up leaving back to their biological family. But she explained that she learned that some foster parents choose to only foster children whose parental rights have been permanently relinquished, and are therefore adoptable. That right there, was a total game changer for me. I did not even know that was an option. I thought it was inevitable that as a foster parent you had to expect that possible loss, I didn’t realize you could avoid that whole scenario altogether. Now it’s just a matter of finding out if that option is available here in Alaska too. The plan for now though is to continue trying infertility treatments until I turn 35, which is over a year from now. 

  Mini Victories for the Week

Kept up with supplements while on vacation.

Got more sleep and relaxed more this week.

Asked more questions and did a little more research about the foster care system.

  Work in Progress

Contact the Seattle Clinic to find out if I need a repeat SIS before my upcoming FET.

Reduce caffeine intake from 1-2 cups down to less than one cup next week. Eventually completely cut out caffeine sometime soon.

Get back on a 1200 calorie per day diet.

  This post may contain affiliate links. You can read the disclosure here. 

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FET Prep Week 6: Relax! You’re on Vacation. Even though this vacation to Nevada has been really relaxing I wish I would have planned it for a couple weeks earlier.

[bloojayoolie]

Apparently, Bad, and Blade: Raep DARTED IN, TERRIFIED Making great strides to adjust to his new situation Handsome, chunky, lovable, housetrained - Reported to be playful& independent by former owner, lived with a small dog be mine years old 70 lbs FOSTER **** TO BE KILLED - 2/5/2018 **** DARTED IN AND SCARED AS CAN BE, Razz hunkered down in the cage that would temporarily be home when he came too and hoped it was all a bad dream. Until he woke up in the morning in the same place with a bunch of other dogs who had made the same wish before they drifted into sleep. Though scared, Razz has the look of a friendly chunkster and the volunteers know it so they attempt to befriend him, and turns out they are right. But Razz is still scared and needs to feel safe in this strange new place so they have to coax him out of his kennel and after lots of encouragement, soft words and top shelf treats (his legs trembling the whole time) he comes around and tips out of the kennel. Just as gorgeous as they knew he would be. Razz is such a hunky boy with his velvet coat, checking out the scenery, sniffing his four legged next door neighbor and saying hello through the gate. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. :) He's picking up on good energy from these people known as volunteers and even making friends, tail just a-wagging. But they don't give you weeks to come out of your shell at the shelter, especially if you are scared and your family doesn't want you, so Razz needs a prompt hero to take him to the next phase in this harrowing ordeal. He's been added to the euth list and he will be killed if an experienced, kind and loving person doesn't come through for him promptly. So if you like cute, soft, velvety and loyal things that will show you how grateful they are for you for the rest of their life, Razz just might be your boy. Please consider saving a life. RAZZ@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Razz My animal id is #18774 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 4 years old, 70 lbs Came into shelter as stray Jan. 20, 2018 Razz is new hope rescue only Razz 18774 is at risk for behavior concerns (New Hope Only behavior determination). He has been fearful with her human caretakers, but warms up with consistent slow gentle approach. Razz has been diagnosed with Canine Upper Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely require home rest and a series of antibiotics for up to 14 days. This is a contagious illness to other dogs. You may know me from such films as... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyf7fDkUfyA https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=6mQND5pnAVY My medical notes are... Weight: 70 lbs Vet Notes 20/01/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 5 Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : OS due to bite Subjective/ Observed: Patient was presented fractious/excited in a kennel after being darted by officers. The tranqs did not appear to have the desired effect as Razz was very excited, barking and growling. Required Sedation and a muzzle for examination. Evidence of Cruelty seen - n Evidence of Trauma seen - n Objective T = - P = 60 (under sedation) R = WNL BCS= 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Used a tongue depressor. Teeth apparently in good condition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Intact - two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Sedation: 1cc Telazol IM Removed two darts from dorsum and neck. Made a small skin incision with #10 scalpel blade and cleaned repeatedly with chlorohexidine scrub. Applied topical antibiotic ointment DOH Hold SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to DOH Hold 28/01/2018 S/O: Reported Vomiting. Very quiet in kennel. Plan: Monitor for CIRDC or sickness 29/01/2018 S/O: Lethargic. Quiet in kennel. Not eating alot. Moderate serous dis-charge from left nares A: CIRDC Plan: Move to Iso Give 300 mg Doxycycline PO SID for 14days Give 60 mg Cerenia PO SID for 3 days Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 5. Red Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Razz was barking, lunging and growling while in the crate. He had a tense body and tail tucked. No handling was performed. Date of Intake: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Razz is a roughly 4 year old large dog whom was bought from a friend and kept in the same home since he was just a few months old. Unfortunately due to a previous bite history he could not be kept. Previously lived with:: 3 adults, 1 small dog How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers Razz is described as reactive and plays rough with adults How is this dog around children?: Razz has not been socialized with children so this behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: He has been socialized with one small breed dog and is described as relaxed and plays very rough How is this dog around cats?: Razz has not been socialized with cats so this behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Razz is known to have no resource guarding issues. Bite history:: Razz has a previous bite history which is elaborated in a separate memo Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Razz is described to bark a lot and isn't bothered by loud storms of fireworks. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touches, being given a bath, having his nails trimmed or being disturbed while asleep. He will bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: Razz has no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy and excitable.He enjoys playing with ropes, ate Merrick dry food 3 times a is considered very house trained. He would be walked 2 times a day, pulls very hard on leash and off leash he wanders but comes when he is called. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender (in previous home since puppyhood) Previously lived with:: Adults (3), small dog Behavior toward strangers:: Reactive, plays roughly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Relaxed, plays roughly with housemate Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported. Bite history:: Yes, Razz bit one of his owners the day before intake. The owner was attempting to collar Razz for the first time (he did not wear a collar at home), and Razz responded by growling and lunging. The owner tried again to collar and Razz escalating to a bite on the right hand. This was a bite-and-release that resulted in several punctures. The owner sought treatment at the hospital for the injury. The owners reported being shocked by the behavior and believing it was due to fear. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy, and excitable, with a high energy level. Other Notes:: Razz is reported to bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Date of assessment:: 2/2/2018 Summary:: Throughout his stay in the care center, Razz has shown generally fearful behavior. He has made progress in recent days but out of concern that a handling assessment with a stranger at this point may push him over threshold, he will not receive a SAFER handling assessment at this time. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Barking, lunging, growling in the crate; tense body, tail tucked. Date of initial:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Excited, barking, growling. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Since his arrival, Razz has shown great behavioral improvement. Initially he would lunge and hard bark at handlers whenever a leash was presented, and would not leave his kennel. With daily sessions of leashing and giving treats, and providing a stepstool for him to step onto, Razz is now able to leave his kennel and solicits pets from multiple employees while out on a walk. He now allows handling and will lean in to handlers for pets, and will walk appropriately on a leash. Outside of his kennel Razz displays loose and wiggly body language and while still somewhat fearful he has continued to improve since his arrival. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Razz's general fear of strangers, sensitivity to certain types of handling, and bite history, we recommend an adult-only home for Razz. Place with a New Hope partner: Razz will need guidance to learn to feel more confident in new situations and to learn new coping skills when frightened. We recommend ONLY force-free, reward-based training methods for Razz; more aversive techniques will increase fear and increase the risk of future aggression. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments:: Handling/touch sensitivity: Razz's previous owners note growling, barking, and snapping when restrained. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Razz has shown an escalation to a bite when frightened. He gave appropriate warnings (growling, lunging) before the escalation, but when not respected a bite followed. It is essential to always respect his warning signs. It is important to move slowly with Razz, to build positive associations (treats/toys/praise), and to allow Razz to initiate interactions with new people. He should never be forced to greet or to interact if he is not comfortable and soliciting attention. RAZZ IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

[bloojayoolie]

Apparently, Bad, and Blade: Raep DARTED IN, TERRIFIED Making great strides to adjust to his new situation Handsome, chunky, lovable, housetrained - Reported to be playful& independent by former owner, lived with a small dog be mine years old 70 lbs FOSTER **** TO BE KILLED - 2/3/2018 **** DARTED IN AND SCARED AS CAN BE, Razz hunkered down in the cage that would temporarily be home when he came too and hoped it was all a bad dream. Until he woke up in the morning in the same place with a bunch of other dogs who had made the same wish before they drifted into sleep. Though scared, Razz has the look of a friendly chunkster and the volunteers know it so they attempt to befriend him, and turns out they are right. But Razz is still scared and needs to feel safe in this strange new place so they have to coax him out of his kennel and after lots of encouragement, soft words and top shelf treats (his legs trembling the whole time) he comes around and tips out of the kennel. Just as gorgeous as they knew he would be. Razz is such a hunky boy with his velvet coat, checking out the scenery, sniffing his four legged next door neighbor and saying hello through the gate. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. :) He's picking up on good energy from these people known as volunteers and even making friends, tail just a-wagging. But they don't give you weeks to come out of your shell at the shelter, especially if you are scared and your family doesn't want you, so Razz needs a prompt hero to take him to the next phase in this harrowing ordeal. He's been added to the euth list and he will be killed if an experienced, kind and loving person doesn't come through for him promptly. So if you like cute, soft, velvety and loyal things that will show you how grateful they are for you for the rest of their life, Razz just might be your boy. Please consider saving a life. RAZZ@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Razz My animal id is #18774 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 4 years old, 70 lbs Came into shelter as stray Jan. 20, 2018 Razz is new hope rescue only Razz 18774 is at risk for behavior concerns (New Hope Only behavior determination). He has been fearful with her human caretakers, but warms up with consistent slow gentle approach. Razz has been diagnosed with Canine Upper Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely require home rest and a series of antibiotics for up to 14 days. This is a contagious illness to other dogs. You may know me from such films as... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyf7fDkUfyA https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=6mQND5pnAVY My medical notes are... Weight: 70 lbs Vet Notes 20/01/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 5 Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : OS due to bite Subjective/ Observed: Patient was presented fractious/excited in a kennel after being darted by officers. The tranqs did not appear to have the desired effect as Razz was very excited, barking and growling. Required Sedation and a muzzle for examination. Evidence of Cruelty seen - n Evidence of Trauma seen - n Objective T = - P = 60 (under sedation) R = WNL BCS= 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Used a tongue depressor. Teeth apparently in good condition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Intact - two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Sedation: 1cc Telazol IM Removed two darts from dorsum and neck. Made a small skin incision with #10 scalpel blade and cleaned repeatedly with chlorohexidine scrub. Applied topical antibiotic ointment DOH Hold SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to DOH Hold 28/01/2018 S/O: Reported Vomiting. Very quiet in kennel. Plan: Monitor for CIRDC or sickness 29/01/2018 S/O: Lethargic. Quiet in kennel. Not eating alot. Moderate serous dis-charge from left nares A: CIRDC Plan: Move to Iso Give 300 mg Doxycycline PO SID for 14days Give 60 mg Cerenia PO SID for 3 days Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 5. Red Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Razz was barking, lunging and growling while in the crate. He had a tense body and tail tucked. No handling was performed. Date of Intake: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Razz is a roughly 4 year old large dog whom was bought from a friend and kept in the same home since he was just a few months old. Unfortunately due to a previous bite history he could not be kept. Previously lived with:: 3 adults, 1 small dog How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers Razz is described as reactive and plays rough with adults How is this dog around children?: Razz has not been socialized with children so this behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: He has been socialized with one small breed dog and is described as relaxed and plays very rough How is this dog around cats?: Razz has not been socialized with cats so this behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Razz is known to have no resource guarding issues. Bite history:: Razz has a previous bite history which is elaborated in a separate memo Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Razz is described to bark a lot and isn't bothered by loud storms of fireworks. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touches, being given a bath, having his nails trimmed or being disturbed while asleep. He will bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: Razz has no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy and excitable.He enjoys playing with ropes, ate Merrick dry food 3 times a is considered very house trained. He would be walked 2 times a day, pulls very hard on leash and off leash he wanders but comes when he is called. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender (in previous home since puppyhood) Previously lived with:: Adults (3), small dog Behavior toward strangers:: Reactive, plays roughly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Relaxed, plays roughly with housemate Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported. Bite history:: Yes, Razz bit one of his owners the day before intake. The owner was attempting to collar Razz for the first time (he did not wear a collar at home), and Razz responded by growling and lunging. The owner tried again to collar and Razz escalating to a bite on the right hand. This was a bite-and-release that resulted in several punctures. The owner sought treatment at the hospital for the injury. The owners reported being shocked by the behavior and believing it was due to fear. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy, and excitable, with a high energy level. Other Notes:: Razz is reported to bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Date of assessment:: 2/2/2018 Summary:: Throughout his stay in the care center, Razz has shown generally fearful behavior. He has made progress in recent days but out of concern that a handling assessment with a stranger at this point may push him over threshold, he will not receive a SAFER handling assessment at this time. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Barking, lunging, growling in the crate; tense body, tail tucked. Date of initial:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Excited, barking, growling. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Since his arrival, Razz has shown great behavioral improvement. Initially he would lunge and hard bark at handlers whenever a leash was presented, and would not leave his kennel. With daily sessions of leashing and giving treats, and providing a stepstool for him to step onto, Razz is now able to leave his kennel and solicits pets from multiple employees while out on a walk. He now allows handling and will lean in to handlers for pets, and will walk appropriately on a leash. Outside of his kennel Razz displays loose and wiggly body language and while still somewhat fearful he has continued to improve since his arrival. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Razz's general fear of strangers, sensitivity to certain types of handling, and bite history, we recommend an adult-only home for Razz. Place with a New Hope partner: Razz will need guidance to learn to feel more confident in new situations and to learn new coping skills when frightened. We recommend ONLY force-free, reward-based training methods for Razz; more aversive techniques will increase fear and increase the risk of future aggression. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments:: Handling/touch sensitivity: Razz's previous owners note growling, barking, and snapping when restrained. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Razz has shown an escalation to a bite when frightened. He gave appropriate warnings (growling, lunging) before the escalation, but when not respected a bite followed. It is essential to always respect his warning signs. It is important to move slowly with Razz, to build positive associations (treats/toys/praise), and to allow Razz to initiate interactions with new people. He should never be forced to greet or to interact if he is not comfortable and soliciting attention. RAZZ IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.