#May add more depending if whatever or not I have plans for em'

[ryctone]

Doing a clean up of super old Warrior Cats OCs that I dunno what to do with anymore/can't fit with my new fanclans, take them while you still can!

Some are OTA(Offer to Adopt) while others are free first come first serve.

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

Weird question but a while ago on one of your posts you mentioned how you made your steaks better (i think it had something to do with a sigil?) Anyway could you give a step-by-step on that?

im so glad you asked me this thank you for the opportunity to infodump

first thing you're gonna want to do is rest your steaks for a few hours before you cook them. just salt both sides and pop em in the fridge uncovered. your mileage may vary on how long you want them in there based on how thick your steak is but i usually just do it the night before or the morning of and it works out. it's gonna look kinda funky and dry when you take it out, that's how you know it's ready. this is half of what is gonna give you a damn good crust.

when it comes time to cook em up, pat some spices into either side. you'll also want some spices in whatever oil or butter you use in the pan but having them directly crusted onto the steak is the other half of what gives you a damn good crust. you can turn on the heat during this step because you want your pan to be hot when you lay your steak into it. people get into different oils and smoke points but honestly if you're just trying to make a good steak for yourself i don't think it matters much, just use a little less than you think you need because beef fat renders fast. oil your pan, add herbs to the oil if you're feeling it (i like garlic and rosemary) and lay your steak down in there.

the next step kinda varies depending on how you like your steak. i like mine as rare as is safe so i just pan sear mine on every side until the interior is warm enough to be safe, but if you like yours any more well you'll probably want to pop it in the oven at low heat for a short period of time. this part im kinda shakey with but generally 5-8 minutes at around 250 will do it. this is where a meat thermometer comes in really handy bc it helps make sure you don't overcook your steak.

this last bit is optional but if you want to go for some fancy plating, let them sit on a different plate than you plan to serve on for a few minutes to let the myoglobin run off as it cools.

[crowned--corvid]

HEY HEY HI Ive been entranced with your animation of the death row animation meme!! how did you do that kind of animation in blender? is there a tutorial you found or something like that? I havent been able 2 find anything yet...

HIIII HIIII!!! MAN that's an oldie but goodie, I still dig it after 1.5 years

Here's the video for those who haven't seen it

stuff abt how I do it is under the read more :3

SO, the animation is done as a combination of both shapekeys and rigging! I won't go in depth with shortcut keys n shit as it would make this post ALOT longer so bare with me as I try not to sound like I lost my mind.

Much like how one would do a tween animation, I make each part of the character. Earlier work of this tech like death row, I spread it around on one file, but you can save each part separately.

The next part is that I cut out the peice from the empty space with the knife tool. While it may be easier to just save the limb as it is, I usually work with a 1920x1080 canvas for composition planning AND helps me make good topology for the limb if I need to bend it a certain way.

Here's a diagram of what I mean. Each face/polygon has 4 points so I work it out by making a tube first before adding additional cuts.

From there I'll use the sub devision modifier and Amp it up to like 2-3 depending on how much you want it to bend/deform. YOU MAY NEED TO ADD MORE LOOP CUTS as the modifier WILL deform the textures. You can adjust to whatever till the textures aren't deformed and it's dense enough to your desires :]

FROM THERE I have two shapekeys, one where it deform her enough to look to the left and one where she's looking up. I just used the sculpt tools to get the desired effect-- that's why it looks like it's done in 3d but isn't! I also have a bone that rigs part of the mesh to give her an additional bounce. From there you can aniamte the value of the shapekeys as well as the bones itself!

From there you just need to layer them as if they're paper and rig em up! You can learn rigging on your own as I am SHIT at explaining that process- but know you don't need alot of bones! The spaces i have between the layers are REAAAALLY close. Not close that its ALL flat but enough so that it doesn't distort the sizing on camera (though you can change the mode to not show perspective lol)

While I don't have a demonstration of the keys, I do have the BTS look of the animation to prove its all layers

You could easily do this shit with Adobe after effects but that shit is HEAVYY and if you have QuickTime, its easy to render out transparent videos with blender :3

I do wanna make a video abt this if I ever make another animation with these methods-- hope this helps!

[punkscowardschampions]

JC pt.2

Janis: you can tell me a story

Casey: now

Janis: [show him you have the food/are eating it]

Casey: [send her a voice note which says ‘once upon a time there was this princess who was the fittest in the land, so fit that they carved how fit she were into the side of everybody’s else’s castles and she made a fortune off it ‘cause that took fucking ages, and yeah, she had a sister born on the same day ugly and fuming about it but that’s another story’... sounding so amused at his Grace shade like it’s not her birthday too lol ‘every dickhead in the kingdom chucked gifts at the fit princess whatever day it were, not just one a year, but it was bollocks, dresses they fancied her wearing and that, only half decent thing she was ever chucked, some animal from some far away place’ cos shoutout Twix teehee ‘never seen the like of it, her, unless she looked in her mirror, ‘cause to be fair they had hair with the look of each others’]

Janis: 🫠

Janis: where did you learn to do that?

Casey: [another voice note starting with a shh like excuse you that’s not the end cos he’s decided he has more to add/must keep going until she’s asleep ‘did you reckon that was an ending, nah, it’s only the start, you see, the princess was headfucked by a whole land of people going on and on about her every second of every day, she was having to take these magic berries to stay awake and sit for the carvings and attend parties happening in her honour, she even had a word to somebody about cutting herself in half, but her new pet, as her best mate, told her what she should do was calm down, they had loads of curls between ‘em and where the animal had come from she’d heard about this other lass who made hers into a rope to do a runner and ride some lad, obviously after hearing that, no shit the princess did her hair into a massive one and legged it, went and had all sorts of mad adventures then, needed to outdo the boring first girl, if nothing else’] 

Janis: [just sending a selfie of you listening because you’re going to say something extra if you try, it’s very nearly 🥺 here]

Casey: from there’s where you dream about it

Janis: your voice’ll be in my head

Casey: close your eyes and follow my voice, it’ll take you where you wanna go

Casey: to what happens next

Janis: okay

Janis: if I remember, I might tell you in the morning

Casey: try

Janis: as hard as I’ll try to sleep for your effort, it’s deserved

Casey: just ‘cause you don’t ever need beauty sleep don’t mean you ain’t allowed to be tired, I get it

Casey: I am too

Janis: when are you going to sleep?

Casey: [at whatever o clock his shift is over + getting home etc and sorting any Ian mess out he has to by then because we’re giving not before whether there isn’t enough time now depending how long y’all have been yapping on this day or we just cannot cos we have too many other things we gotta do like walking this dog etc]

Janis: never did manage to sleep at the same time

Casey: you’ll sleep better knowing nothing’s changed

Janis: sleep better if you were but

Janis: promised I’d try

Casey: hang on, I’ll get my head down for [however long he can without fucking up whatever reasons he couldn’t]

Janis: you spoil me

Casey: swear you’ll sleep through even when you feel us get up

Janis: no peeking? 

Casey: none

Casey: [but do send her a selfie of you in bed with 2 of these found girlie af balloons tied to it, to peep at, and you can tell her where and how you rescued said 2nd balloon ofc, whatever that scenario may be]

Janis: you look ready for sweet dreams 👸🏻

Casey: you’re right, does feel like a slur

Janis: not as good at the parent thing as you but alright, night sweet little prince

Casey: night 🌚 feels like it could be a racial one, or a comment on your sister’s filler

Janis: you’re going to have nightmares now

Casey: *🌜

Casey: fitter moon, I’ve saved it

Janis: I weren’t about to fight you, unless you were planning on dreaming about my sister, then of course, I’ll have to

Casey: when can I see you

Janis: tomorrow?

Casey: what time tomorrow

Janis: what time do you usually get up?

Janis: I’ve got nothing on

Casey: you don’t remember what time I asked you to wake me

Janis: yes

Janis: maybe you’ve been treating yourself to lie-ins

Casey: I’d get up early for you

Janis: I’ll come over [a time that’s giving a half hour or something before when he asked you to wake him up] then

Casey: I’ll dream about you here

Janis: Me too

Casey: might not be raging to go to work tonight, I pretend you’re waking me same as tomorrow

Janis: I would do it for real but you made us swear

Casey: would you go straight back to sleep

Janis: Yes

Janis: be bored when you’re working

Casey: swear that and I’ll let you in [however long, giving longer than he said the first time because he wants to sleep and dream now as much as he wants to be woken up]

Janis: swear on my life

Casey: [a picture of Twix trying to get these balloons]

Casey: can’t be on hers, gonna kill her she pops these after how hard I worked getting them down without

Janis: her jealousy knows no bounds 🙄

Janis: give her something to be smug about and cuddle her, will you

Casey: [send her that content obvs, complete with his grumpy lil face being licked and nuzzled cos how dare you Twix when we gotta find and return them all asap, tis the goal not destroying them soz queen, at least the cuddling of this icon will mean he has moved the gross bloody sofa pillow from out of shot that he’s been sleeping with without washing for 3 months cos if she knows that she’ll never sleep]

Janis: I’d say piss on him but she’s form and you need to get cosy

Janis: look at your mardy little face 

Casey: must be you who loves cleaning, desperate to change my not long clean on sheets

Janis: you’re still showing off about how together your life is?

Janis: you enjoy your clean sheets, nerd

Casey: *doing what I’m told

Casey: how else am I getting cosy

Janis: and you always do what you’re told

Casey: still

Janis: you can listen to me this time

Casey: you listened to your story, it’s mutual

Janis: might end up being my best present

Casey: ‘til I top it next year

Janis: or Christmas

Janis: no pressure

Casey: have already decided what I’m buying you for Christmas 🎅🤞

Janis: be what I have to dream about to catch up

Casey: go on, clock’s ticking

Janis: I just hate saying bye to you

Janis: especially when we’ve been wasting time but alright

Casey: it’s not bye, we’ll see each other in a bit

Janis: yeah, know it’s stupid

Casey: I never said that

Janis: it is though

Janis: but you thought I didn’t miss you and you need to know I did

Casey: weren’t a waste of time then

Janis: do you think I needed the time to think about you

Casey: 3 months back you needed us to know something else, wanted to put a stop to everything

Janis: we had to

Casey: now you can say you miss me, that we’ve gotta be mates again or the everything’s fucked worse than before

Janis: we do have to be mates again

Casey: whatever happens

Janis: there’s no world where I can do it without you

Casey: mine revolves ‘round you, always has done

Janis: you’re at the centre of mine too, whatever anyone reckons to that, I don’t give a fuck

Casey: dunno who I am if I dunno who you are

Janis: you know me, I’m still the same person

Casey: we’re the same person

Janis: I don’t feel like me if you’re not here reminding me

Janis: I’m just there, a stand-in for whatever is needed

Casey: I couldn’t feel anything, ain’t even seen red since we spoke last

Janis: [the school counsellor] would say that means I’m a bad influence

Casey: she’s one to talk, influencing me to touch her every session like that were her job

Janis: 🤮

Janis: find out where she lives and I’ll torch her car

Casey: [drop her address cos you know it]

Janis: she give you that

Casey: followed her home, one of the days I fancied torching her car

Janis: you never told me

Casey: wasn’t gonna make you an accessory had I done it

Janis: I’d have given you an alibi

Casey: sort of mate you are

Janis: she more than sort of deserves it

Casey: can’t have her reckoning I’m as obsessed with her

Janis: can’t wait to slap the psychopath label on you and pat herself on the back

Casey: her with the dead eyes, wants to label herself

Janis: not whilst she can waste her days getting kids to breathe

Casey: be worth being a teen dad for a kid I could send to her, get the little bastard in before she retires

Janis: she’d be far too thrilled

Janis: gonna be gutted Bobby is who he is

Casey: wasted hours learning basic signs hoping to touch him up an’ all

Janis: it’s not normal to hate her as much as I still do, is it

Casey: probably not but what’s normal about the nonce ring operating in our old school

Janis: she never helped you properly

Janis: and at least Lucas was upfront about his nonce behaviour

Casey: and I was upfront about what I’d do if he ever went near you

Janis: that I knew

Casey: bedtime story for another night, where he lives and when I went there

Janis: what, no, now

Casey: I’ve kept you up as is

Janis: that’s so unfair

Casey: well you should know what to do, had months to practice begging me

Janis: you’ll only be rude about my efforts

Casey: you don’t even try, yeah

Casey: put some effort in

Janis: and you’ll tell me, you swear

Casey: on his life

Janis: I need to hear it, make me miss you even more

Casey: would give you sweet dreams

Janis: you were sweet, I do miss that kid

Casey: what am I now

Janis: not a kid

Janis: unless you wanna be

Casey: unless you’re after more sweets nicking

Janis: my 🦷 will fall out 

Casey: afford a whole new set amount of work you’ve done

Janis: you want to steal me more then

Casey: I mean, being honest, might put my hand in my pocket, [corner shop man] is a mate but

Janis: *bestest friend forever

Janis: tell him your best stories, wouldn’t you

Casey: he tells me tah for whatever I come out his shop with, you’ve not even said please

Janis: ‘cos you’ll say it’s not pretty enough, however desperate I might be

Casey: make it as pretty as you and I can’t say shit, can I

Janis: please tell me 

Casey: can’t hear you

Janis: Casey

Janis: [but you know she is saying it]

Casey: [do put her out of her misery and tell her, I won’t specify what he’s likewise leaving as another voice note story in case we wanna go back and do it in the era, whenever it was, but we know the vibes and we’ve always said it’s a thing, so]

Janis: Oh, fuck

Janis: I love you, you know

Casey: you know who my best mate is

Casey: no offence to [corner shop man] or his pick n mix

Janis: I’m lucky to have you, sorry to him

Casey: Lucas is lucky to be alive

Janis: the good die young, as they say, so he’ll live forever

Janis: but idc about him

Casey: I only care how much you miss us now

Janis: my chest hurts, and you’re all I can picture when I close my eyes

Casey: sounds like her breathing exercises ain’t so useless after all

Janis: fuck that, she’s not getting any credit

Casey: no, take a deep breath for me, nobody else

Janis: for you

Casey: you need to close your eyes and I don’t want it to hurt

Janis: I can feel every hour that was spent away from you, on my body

Casey: you’ll have to teach us how to massage them out

Janis: you can hug me, until I can’t breathe

Janis: that will do it, I think

Casey: alright, come here

Janis: tomorrow

Janis: I’ll be good tomorrow

Casey: tomorrow’s not your birthday, come here

Janis: okay

Janis: I’ll run [a route that’s giving circling back so it takes you longer so you can try to calm down lol]

Casey: [not you giving her a route that’s giving shortcut cos you don’t want her to calm down ever and want her here rn immediately]

Janis: it’ll still be my birthday when I get there

Casey: what you waiting for

Janis: you know

Janis: I’m trying to be a better friend

Casey: do as you’re told and we’ll still be best friends

Janis: I’ll be there in [a time that’s clearly giving the shortcut]

Casey: do it in [take a bit of time off it to tell her to hurry up lol] to prove you’ve really missed me

Janis: you who has to hug me when I’m drenched in sweat

Casey: worst that happens is we stick together, hardly a shame

Janis: I won’t come anywhere near your clean sheets

Casey: you won’t be able to get out when I’ve trapped you

Janis: there’s nowhere else I want to be

Casey: stay then

Janis: trap me

Casey: you’re too tired to fight me

Janis: we’re not fighting, we’re making up

Casey: I heard, you love me

Janis: yeah, so much

Casey: so run

Janis: [send your elevating stats to say I am]

Casey: [send yours even though you’re not, just for a comparison as you wait impatiently lol]

Janis: are you breathing properly over there

Casey: I’m counting, you’ve got til 10

Janis: 😏

Janis: [but show up because it really would not take you long at all, especially running at full pelt, which you did and it shows]

Casey: [tell her what number you reached because we all know it wasn’t 10 because she was RUNNING and he was counting SLOWLY so, as you LOOK at her as she appears and obvs then look her over as y’all do because it’s been a whole ass minute, the longest you guys have ever gone without seeing or speaking to each other and first things first you need to know if she’s okay]

Janis: [either being smug about how quick or slightly miffed if you don’t think it’s good enough, regardless, absolutely not your focus either because you have to LOOK him over right back, you can’t even comprehend how long it’s been because so foreign and feeling like a bad dream the entire time you’ve been away lowkey, having to literally reach out and prod him in the chest like he might not be real or in front of you, face cracking into a smile when he, obviously, is]

Casey: [this boy continuing to count by going to whatever the next number is like just so you know the countdown is still running btw because you aren’t close enough to me yet/we aren’t yet touching/literally stuck together skin to skin, nbd just bestie things it’s chill haha, speaking of a complete lack of chill, I fully imagine Twix going to launch herself at Janis, duh because also besties, because even though he hasn’t been snuggling her hardcore since that content was sent, she’s deffo been sleeping beside him (while he didn’t) and is then like oh hey, so he will be here pulling this dog off this girl (not roughly because he’s never rough with this sweet baby angel but still, it’s the fact he’s doing it at all cos he doesn’t usually, Twix is allowed to do as she pleases) and launching himself at her instead, because as soon as she touched him, that gives him permission to do the same and he so SUDDENLY can’t bear to not be, ofc it cannot be overstated how !! this hug immediately is, the hardest he has ever, which is saying something cos he’s always doing the most]

Janis: [when you had to wait because he has to hug you (you were quite clear with your instructions lol) but simply having to hold back for that brief amount of time that passes between y’all there is KILLING YOU, not to mention you are barely registering Twix barrelling into you, soz queen but we haven’t taken our eyes off this boy, we’re unable to, just as we won’t be able to not be hugging back as hard as we are capable, even though that’ll be a fight in this grip you’re in, you gotta but it’s obvious you aren’t trying to get him off, just an attempt to convey some of that energy back yourself whilst you struggle to breathe casually]

Casey: [soz Twix we know you haven’t seen Janis for as long as he hasn’t but rn this isn’t and can’t be about you diva, for me it’s the way he can’t breathe either because if he was capable of crying he would be and that’s evident in all the ways his body is capable of responding including said breathing, there are too many emotions and too much relief that she actually is here rn and he is allowed to hold her like this for what would feel like forever, pushing her towards his bed and the clean sheets (because idk where they are whether she appeared in his bedroom doorway highkey or they met somewhere else in this gaff but regardless of distance) with his body without breaking this insane tight grip because he’s unwilling to even temporarily readjust to pick her up and carry her there, eventually pushing her onto the bed, finally picking her up only then when she’s fallen onto it so she can wrap herself around him and he can wrap her in these sheets as tightly like it’s a death shroud or she’s a baby being swaddled]

Janis: [you likewise cannot cry yet because you have been that numbed out and killed off your emotions and thoughts as best as you were able (we know you could never do it fully but lord you were TRYING so the tears won’t come now even if you’d like them to) here smelling this boy and feeling the warmth and the strength of his body, hearing him breathing and feeling that against your skin too, trying to make up for the loss of him in the last three months by fitting everything you can memorise into this moment and refusing to let go and let it end, not even slightly allowing him or yourself to pull back in any single way, only saying anything (beyond your own laboured breaths) when he starts pushing you towards his bed and then you’re just repeating ‘I missed you’ over and over, until he relents and has to push you down onto said bed and you can take the moment you need (though you would have never asked for it) to catch your breath just enough to launch yourself at him like a limpet, attaching yourself to him as tightly as you can]

Casey: [the way I know Twix is still trying to jump on y’all like this is a game but it is NOT and there just isn’t a mm of space to get between them the second they hit that bed the same as there wasn’t before so she’d be barking but it doesn’t even register to either of you, all he can hear is their mutual laboured breathing and the occasional word only because she’s repeating them so many times, telling her ‘happy birthday’ like it’s forced out of him when she attaches herself to him with equal force so he can’t not say it, iconic that he didn’t once in that chat for all the times her bday was mentioned, grabbing clumsily at the balloons without looking just knowing that he needs to get at least the first one he found and undo it while she clings to him so she can breathe via the breath he filled it with, despite not being as desperate for oxygen as she would’ve been, he simply must like he’s giving her another gift/this was his plan all along for why he needed to collect them, it was nothing of the sort but we’re so glad he did because the way he is feeding her this balloon air is giving when he fed her water, telling her to take deep breaths again how he did earlier but indecently because it’s IRL and he’s saying it]

Janis: [bless her heart but there’s not a hope in hell of you getting a lick of attention right now and you are going to go off in a huff and cause some mischief undoubtedly, no one is watching you right now diva and we’ll deal with you later lol, these two fools are killing each other and loving every minute of it, the hot lol she does at him finally saying happy birthday is beyond indecent, it’s giving the ‘it is now’ that we aren’t verbalising but you know how sincerely we mean it from everything that’s being conveyed in our body language, never mind how that body language is violently reacting when he pulls this balloon stunt because you aren’t even a little okay or casual about it and your EYE CONTACT is going to have to say everything you cannot whilst you’re here doing the deepest breaths]

Casey: [soz again Twix, might I have you back to hump one of these fools for the complete hilarity that is all things considered, absolutely yes, but for rn now go girl because you don’t need to be here trying to get involved in that balloon stunt or trying to steal the other one and making this boy fuming thanks, instead we’re all ENJOYING the eye contact so much so that he’s maintaining it as he puts his fingers to the pulse point in her neck to feel how !! it is, as if checking if the balloon air and deep breaths have helped, cos I will bring that move back from OG and have this be the first time it has ever happened because I can, the way those fingers would feel indecent despite the fact he’s been bear hugging her with his entire body prior to them touching her]

Janis: [your time to shine will arrive but it ain’t now when you’re being thoroughly ignored because we are doing the most, the way it is almost certainly not helping because it’s an out-breath and also everything about this situation is making your own breathing shallower despite your best efforts so we are here getting dizzy about it in a way that is entirely too apt for how being here with him makes you feel anyway, freeing a hand yourself to grab his fingers and hold them like a baby because !!]

Casey: [‘passing out ain’t sleeping’ like she’s trying to cheat on their nap which we’re pretending she’s come here for considering the way she’s all tangled in the sheets because he swaddled her like a baby when she first got in them, said as she grabs his fingers like that’s also a cheat move so he can’t feel her pulse, moving his head to her chest to listen to her heart like excuse you I won’t be thwarted, but his mood is amused and likewise !! hence HOLDING her again when he’s in a comfy position, so hard he can feel her ribs give slightly under the pressure he’s applying] 

Janis: [furrowing her brows at him so aggressively, like how dare you accuse me of cheating but also expect me to be able to sleep under these conditions lol, of course she is still amused and !! herself and not actually fuming because how could she be, managing a little gasp when he’s laying down on you, covering his other ear with your hand like you need to so he can properly hear your heart (when it’d be thumping like hell so no you don’t) and you don’t just want to put your hand in his hair to try and deal even a little]

Casey: [listening to her heart for what feels like a thousand years because he simply must, in fact it’d feel like he has for so long that it’d be jarring when he furrows his brows back at her (even more aggro like it’s a competition and he’s determined to win, which he 1000% would because his brows are SLAY) like that parrot giving WHAT attitude because her doing that would lowkey feel like another life ago lol, but he simply must do that too because we feel hysterical and therefore silly competitiveness is all there is, meanwhile, in the same vein, also as if it retaliation, teasing a piece of her hair out (because she was running so I assume it’s up) at the front and pulling it, playing with it, wrapping it around his finger harder and harder as he LOOKS at her from his position laying on her chest still, we all remember when he was learning to plait and he hasn’t forgotten, so doing a little one when he’s stopped messing]

Janis: [your eyes widening and turning into the biggest heart eyes because you weren’t expecting that but his brows are so slay and he’d look so good it wouldn’t even be funny, fluffing them in the opposite direction as if anything you do can make him not look hot as fuck/get him to lose the competition, stopping dead in your tracks/resting your fingertips on his temples because we do all remember and we remember why he was doing that so we can only return the LOOK like okay, because if he was about to tie you up you would not stop him and we all know that]

Casey: [sir you’ve gotta lol and return her heart eyes as if her pissing about with your brows just tickles because I don’t trust you with any other reaction rn haha, until everyone’s just THINKING about him tying her to the bed like he did the balloons via her hair and then I’ll let you SIGH because of how badly you clearly want to do exactly that and PRESS your forehead to hers like you’re about to headbutt her off this bed but actually because you also wanna hear her thoughts]

Janis: [making eye contact from this close like a psycho because you are and you are trying to get him to read your thoughts too, pushing back against him to the point of it hurting just a little bit, then rubbing your forehead against his cheek and your cheeks against his forehead like you’re instantly making it better, a little comforting noise escaping despite you not intending it to right now]

Casey: [‘don’t hurt yourself’ quiet and so full of love and caring like a dad, because he cares not if she hurts him ever and has hilariously not given a single thought or fuck for the bruises she’ll be left with for how hard he was hugging her but here in this moment we care very much about this gesture and possibility of pain specifically, in contrast, letting a bigger comforting noise escape willingly and then adding ‘it’s okay’ because always, it’s said like there’s a baby on the end but technically there isn’t, not yet girls, again for the first time, doing the thing he does when he wipes away her tears when she is not crying, because yet again I can]

Janis: [shaking your head, partial I won’t with a bigger I don’t care if I do, shaking it again when he says it’s okay but smiling too, closing your eyes briefly as if you might shed a tear for him this way but you still can’t, trying to plait his hair but it is of course way too short so you’re just pulling on it here ‘if we go to sleep this time, we can fix everything?’ saying it like a question, as if he can answer that, because lowkey if y’all had had your nap last time everything would’ve been FINE but there’s a reason you couldn’t]

Casey: [the way I know her little plait is bebobbing with every shake of her head and he’s WATCHING it intently like it’s a tennis ball at Wimbledon and he can’t take his eyes off it however tiny said movement, biting his lip as briefly when she closes her eyes and can’t see how hot he looks doing it because emotions are too high, never more so than when she’s pulling his hair like that and it’s giving baby, NEEDING to tuck the plait behind her ear so you don’t do something unhinged like bite it too, in answer to her question though, so sincerely and seriously, manoeuvring her into the position of being little spoon (because he was before but today the birthday girls needs it) with his own nod which he then uses to nuzzle into her neck/shoulder]

Janis: [touching this plait and feeling how tightly or loose he did it, your hands shaking just fractionally but you’re this close and this zoned into everything the other is doing that he’s gonna see, at least you can hide how red you are once he’s turned you away because you went from pink to full fire engine with the way he did that, doing your own big sigh as you nuzzle your face into the pillow whilst he’s nuzzling into you]

Casey: [I find it adorable that he would’ve tried to do it so tight but we all know it’s loose cos her hair is a law onto itself and that’s the first time he’s ever tried to plait it, in no world were your own hands not shaking slightly when you did it too sir, so, yeah, tis cute that he really tried but it’s messy and loose still hehe, ANYWAY, he does see her hands shaking and it’s being memorised as well as reminding him of when she trembled on message day and when they talked about it after, speaking of pillows, thank god the gross sofa one has probably fallen to the floor out of her line of sight because he’s 1000% made that worse thanks to sleeping with it constantly and like I said, she’ll never sleep if she sees, whispering into her ear ‘you’ve lost weight’ as neither a compliment nor shade, but as pure concern and as proof of how tuned in they are to each other and how much he notices because lbr the weight loss wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else, it’s such a tiny fraction from working herself to death, but we better believe he knows and is her worried dad about this ‘swear you won’t do no more of that either’ like it’s an add on to his earlier don’t hurt yourself please, again whispered right in her ear, like it’s a secret nobody else can know]

Janis: [you know not fully of her wild hair ways yet but you’re starting to find out and we all love to see it, hence she’s taking the rest of her hair down for him because she knows he wants it all up in his grill and who are we to say no, but truly thank god she can’t see because there would be no stopping you I fear, normal pillow snuggling only right now thank you, catching yourself before you go to protest that no you haven’t or not that much because even if you hadn’t noticed yourself you just know that he’s correct and it is simply the truth because trust him to know you like that ‘I didn’t mean to’ quietly but snuggling back into him whilst you do like don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry ‘I’m back now’ because don’t plan to go anywhere in this moment]

Casey: [the way I know it’s his turn to get dizzy because he’s lowkey suffocating himself from how he’s buried himself in her hair and is BREATHING in, only moving it aside even slightly with his mouth (because his arms are wrapped around her and he isn’t letting go even for a sec, that’s obvs the ONLY reason lol) when he genuinely fears he might black out and he’s trying to have a self care convo rn haha so it is not the time, doing another nod which is really a nuzzle more fully into her neck because he knows she didn’t mean to as genuinely as he realised it had happened in the first place, doing another comforting noise like it’s okay I’m not mad, pulling her even closer into him (dangerous considering how turned on he inevitably is by her hair atm) and giving her a SQUEEZE in response to the second part of her answer cos baby she’s SO back, in every sense of the word, here as her old self/the self she is with him again as well as physically ‘yeah you are’] 

Janis: [when all you wanna do is turn your head to WATCH him because this feels and sounds crazy to you in a way that has your imagination running but you have to follow one of y’alls made up rules and keep facing forward despite every instinct you have, you really could help him by staying still but you ain’t because you don’t care how risky this is (just like you didn’t the last time we were here) ‘but I swear’ like the SQUEEZE forced that out of you and you didn’t just want to, putting your hands over his that are wrapped around you]

Casey: [I love their nonsense but makes sense to them rules, god bless, I can’t say a word about this girl not keeping still because this boy is saying ‘good girl’ rn knowing damn well that there’s no platonic meaning for that or excuse ever, no notes, I’ll take that being what escapes over the noises that could, I guess, lesser of two evils]

Janis: [you gotta love it, just like we have to pretend he’s throwing that out to wind you up/you hate it when you do not at all and he’s fully aware of that thanks to all your inappropriate acts thus far, shhing him, therefore, way too enthusiastically to actually sound close to pissed off about this friendly bants lollol]

Casey: [my boo says hot shh him and she’s so real for that, catch him shamelessly retaliating by blowing in her ear in such a needlessly hot manner as if we’re just bants trying to blow her hair away and aimed incorrect ‘could’ve called you princess’ like you’re so welcome I did not and you don’t get to be ‘pissed off’ cos he didn’t when actually we all see you just putting the idea out there/you saying it because you want to]

Janis: [leaning your head further back into him without making eye contact still, as if you’re moving your ear away from him when you are in fact only trying to be closer and make more points of contact ‘you already have’ because that bedtime story we’re THINKING about once more ‘but it’s your highness to you’ like you’re actual royalty and he’s being impertinent tehe]

Casey: [not you actually biting that lil plait the way you resisted doing earlier, we can all pretend it’s bants or playfight energy like he’s trying to undo it with his teeth because she’s the one sassing him and giving bratty vibes but we all know it’s because of the way she was moving around and reminding him of the bedtime story earlier which he’s then also THINKING of]

Janis: [pulling away exactly enough that it’s tugging your hair but you aren’t getting it out of his mouth because of course you don’t want that ‘I’m not trying to escape’ because he said he’d stop her but also this is not the tower we’re trying to Rapunzel out of]

Casey: [spitting this plait out gently purely so he can say ‘what you trying to do’ because they both KNOW the effect she’s having on him rn it’s too blatant to hide and what is equally blatant is how much he loves said plait hitting her face, so he’s repeating it a bit harder but without being fully !! because we’re giving playful not feral despite how he may feel inside, not trying to scare her away]

Janis: [grinning at him evilly, only slightly more OTT and evil than you actually feel because yes, we KNOW and we can pretend we’re just being a dick and doing it to try and embarrass you, like mates do, so casual but no one is buying that and we know you aren’t at all, making a competition out of trying not to flinch about this plait hitting you but that doesn’t mean your body isn’t tensing up in ways he can feel because you’re into it too]

Casey: [a little almost playfight moment happening of him wiping the evil grin off her face, it’s giving when he wipes away tears that aren’t there except on her mouth and less gentle and soft, using his hand in every way he possibly could, running the back of his hand over it dramatically like when you’re all eww, covering her mouth fully with his palm like he’s peekaboo-ing it and now hooray we don’t see, wiping his fingers over her lips like they’re sticky or something etc etc, but when her body can’t help but tense his can’t help but react as involuntarily by moving against hers for the first time properly so then he’s covering her mouth for her with !! pushing the back of his hand against it, hard enough to knock her teeth, to make sure no noise escapes, nbd just bestie things, just doing her a favour there, it’s FINE, as if the rule is, if she’s quiet enough it isn’t happening and they don’t need to stop]

Janis: [play fighting him with gusto because then anything that happens is purely accidental and no one needs to feel any guilt about it, so casual, so FINE, never mind how much you’re letting him best you when you could hold your own much more if you truly wanted but you don’t because you want him to have his hand over your mouth this hard right now and though you’re keeping your body still, your eyes are giving EVERYTHING away honey, as well as the vibration of a noise thwarted he can feel against his palm]

Casey: [again just bestie things I fear, they simply love a playfight, nothing to see here, it isn’t at all a flimsy excuse who or what gave you that idea lol, not that this boy has any space to feel guilt atm with everything else he feels much more strongly in this moment ™  soz everyone, speaking of flimsy excuses, he is getting that 2nd balloon and once again feeding her air as if she needs it URGENTLY because of how hard his hand was over her mouth, as if the noise was an SOS (when he can read her better than he can a book, okay hun) but obvs really he just wants those antics to be repeated from this spooning position so he’s tilting her head back ridiculously far with his free hand (which it goes without saying is via said hand all up in her hair) that isn’t holding this balloon to her mouth like it’s a nip, loving how her body is arched thanks to all this nonsense, letting his body be even more deliberately lined up with hers to connect in the exact perfect spot while she once again can’t make indecent sounds because she’s sucking on a balloon nip lol, thank god he didn’t find more than 2 balloons or imagine, that’s quite enough of that, thank you]

Janis: [again, I say, do you think you would want anyone else to see this, let alone Jimothy, you’re here in his bed, wrapped in his sheets, but sure, this is totally fine lads, even at the base level it is not but then you’re being absolutely feral with these balloons (which luckily you’re about to run out of, even though you could be here all day redoing this technically because they ain’t broke lol), here finding the last one and balling your fist around it whilst being fed by this new one, you are still attempting not to move and have restraint but you’re not achieving it because of how exactly in the right spot he is and how snapped back your head is, leaving your throat so exposed, subconsciously bringing the hand that isn’t playing with balloon number one to said throat, are you covering it, are you lightly choking yourself further, who can say]

Casey: [my boo says none of this is acceptable just so y’all know and she’s so correct, I didn’t plan this in advance how I sometimes evilly do but I’m so glad there are 2 balloons so that he can also hold onto the 2nd dead one when it’s served its purpose, both in the here and now and in the shoebox under his bed memory box I’ve said before he has forever, love you past Junie for randomly picking 2 (tell me why refilling those balloons feels like such an outrageous thing to do but just using them once each is so fine haha) so these heathens can mirror each other in that, meanwhile his other hand is just staying all up in her hair and PLAYING with it, caps needed because we’re being indecent about the way his fingers are combing through it, it’s not just bestie things of oh let me fix that for you, this boy is going in and therefore shamelessly keeping her in this position for way longer than necessary, at this point lads you’re dryhumping each other with the way he’s pushing into her and we all see you]

Janis: [mhmm, well-done madam because now the girls get to keep one each (whilst she lets the ones at home naturally wilt how balloons blown up with your breath do, then God knows what you will want to do with them) and we’re already feeling a type of way about that, hence you putting your balloon in your mouth to chew on like an absolute animal because otherwise you know you’re going to moan about the things he’s doing to your hair right now and you already are fully going with this dry-hump moment as my boo said, there’s no maybe not about it, craning your neck even harder to LOOK at him because once again, we want to acknowledge what’s happening here]

Casey: [me like omg is she me because I have literally chewed on balloons when I was younger like I used to polly pocket clothes and barbie feets, soz but I craved that rubbery texture so much, meanwhile this boy will be chewing on whatever top she is wearing the way that he always bites her shoulder to shut the fuck up in the future, it’s marginally more chill than going there and sinking his teeth into her body but still heathen behaviour that he once again doesn’t feel any shame about, hence maintaining that eye contact with no fucks given]

Janis: [it’s a delicious texture and they literally sell rubber jewellery for ND peeps/kids for that reason, just a nice sensation I fear, which is adding to what is such an intense moment for this girl here and now, WATCHING him with such intensity you might think she gives a shit about this top but not even a little, here barely holding back from launching yourself at him, tugging at said top in such a way that puts it even more in his mouth like he needs to be GAGGED because you know how he feels, quite literally with how hard you’re pushing back into him]

Casey: [tbf this boy does need to be gagged rn, he cannot be trusted to not to be too extra and y’all were already cockblocked by him during that ‘massage’ so he can’t be running his mouth again, the muffled grunt at how hard she pushes back into him is all I’m allowing, he can be trusted to keep her in this position though so no launching is happening because he KNOWS she’s barely holding back from doing that but them and their weird rules, that feels like breaking one when dryhumping does not, nobody said any of this made sense]

Janis: [neither of you can be trusted but this works with your rules so you aren’t questioning it, nor pushing it, even though she really wants to gag him in a different way, we’re not going there, you can sense that that’s a no go right now, hence turning back so you’re just letting him spoon you and you’re not making the risky EYE CONTACT, allowing yourself to make your own noise of frustration as a treat for behaving lol]

Casey: [soz lads you’re not allowed to be as feral as you want yet, her birthday or not, they’re just 2 besties platonically spooning, okay, leave them alone, that includes you Twix until we need you to put a stop to their behaviour, dropping her top from out of his mouth as she repositions and they lose the eye contact, nuzzling into her neck again instead, as if he can check her pulse with his face, WRAPPING both arms around her almost as tightly as their earlier hug (still holding that balloon though forever and always) as if we’re just snuggling and about to nap and not still dryhumping each other] 

Janis: [BIG contented sigh as he’s nuzzling into you, pulling him even closer to you once again by holding onto his arms (also still holding your balloon, which will be spitty as fuck now it’s been spat out of your mouth because we’re getting comfortable, nothing to see here) ‘sleep now’ when yes, you’re very much positioning yourself in his lap and not being subtle about what is happening at all]

Casey: [doing his own BIG contented sigh like an echo when she pulls him even closer somehow because that hits both physically and emotionally as being so right and exactly what this boy wants ‘swap with us’ meaning the balloons because ofc he wants the one she has spat all over and chewed up to be the one he keeps forever and always and because of how quiet they are both being he’d be able to hear how squeaky it is being held all wet and gross like that and it’s making him INSANE]

Janis: [you don’t know if he means RIGHT NOW but you are handing him this balloon RIGHT NOW because of course the idea of him having the one you have been feral with is hitting for you too, awkwardly passing it back so you have the excuse to be accidentally (maybe) pushing it right into his grill like there you go, doing grabby hands for his because heaven forbid you’re left empty-handed] 

Casey: [oh girl he absolutely meant RN because they are the same person, hence, he could just pass her his balloon but ofc he’s got it in between his teeth immediately and he’s spitting it at her, it wouldn’t be all gross and spitty like hers because there’s no pause between holding it in his mouth and firing it out again as a hot move but it’s giving when he was making her flinch hitting her with the plait with how he’s just launching this to hit her body, aiming it strike her abs/stomach and then fall down into her lap so deliberately and unsubtly]

Janis: [it is a hot move and we’re UNWELL about it, subconsciously going to play with said plait that’s probably hanging on by a literal thread with the way he’s been in your hair and you’ve both been moving, as clumsily thrusting your hair at him like redo it NOW because lost the ability to speak but never the ability to communicate with this boy, meanwhile finding this balloon and running it up from your lap all the way to your neck where he’s been nuzzled, like you intend to be even grosser with this one, like it’ll gross him out and it isn’t just a competition to make him want this one back too, hence your evil grin is making a reappearance]

Casey: [the way I know he’s not only gonna redo that lil baby OG plait but he’s also gonna try and go a bigger one with the rest of her hair whilst still fucking her (because let’s call it what it is) is absolutely sending me, because whatever trainwreck her hair ends up looking like, they are both LIVING for the process, we can pretend it’s just bants and another competition like look how good I’m being treating you like a princess while you’re being evil but he just wants to, hence a sound escaping before he’s even started (completed lil one aside) when he first pulls all her hair into his hands to gather it to make this bigger plait because he’s SO into it, holding the balloon she gave him in his mouth by the bit you tie up while he does this because the excuse is he doesn’t have any hands free, they’re all on deck hairdressing]

Janis: [my boo said call it what you want babe and correct, you can refuse to fully acknowledge it but that doesn’t stop the fact you two are only a couple layers of clothing away from full penetration lmao, there’s only so much stoicism you can manage, your bodies are both reacting to how this feels, even if you’re trying not to with your voices as much as you would be naturally inclined, not that either of you can fully control that when he’s looking so adorable yet !! going full hairdresser mode on you, again call it what is when she starts touching her body with this balloon, not fully going where you would like to but teasing yourself and him with it nevertheless]

Casey: [I’m so glad that unlike Bobby she doesn’t have a summer bday and there are layers in the way because if she was wearing shorts again it would be over for us, however gutted and frustrated these fools may be by the cliche grey joggers this boy probably has on atm lol, his concentration face would be everything to the point I’m a little bit sad they aren’t face to face rn so she can see it fully, speaking of frustration though, any time a piece of hair escapes or this plait gets away from him he’ll be dryhumping her more aggressively as if it’s her fault and I just needed you to know that when we consider how wild her hair is and what a novice hairdresser this boy is, plus how sweaty they’ll both be getting from holding back despite it being autumnal won’t help him not drop strands like it’s his job, not to mention his concentration is being TESTED (albeit in the best way ever) by her antics, so, saying a single quiet ‘fuck’ at first, for his first ‘mistake’ but then it becoming ‘fuck’s sake’, repeated and getting more !! as their rhythm is, not ever quite becoming a full MOAN but so close to it]

Janis: [you are welcome for this October setting meaning she’s at least got leggings on and you would have to be intentional to get them out the way, even if y’all feel like you’re about to fuck a hole through all your clothes, you won’t actually lmao, I too am sad but she’s undoubtedly sneaking peeks, however ridiculously she has to twist herself to do so, making his job even harder but we’re not mad about that with how he’s taking his frustration out here, hit him with your own ‘fuck’ as if you’re just teasing him and you aren’t basically moaning your damn self because you gotta and you’re letting your hands/this balloon go under your top, he won’t be able to see nothing but we know and he knows]

Casey: [the way he’d be beyond tempted to just rip her leggings/identical pair of joggers/whatever she may be wearing off makes me so glad he doesn’t have his hands free, busy yourself doing her hair only please sir, speaking of, we all know he’s pulling her hair every time she sneaks one of those peeks as if punishing her for not keeping still and making his life harder but really it’s just to encourage her to do it more because they’re both so into the hair pulling of it all, likewise getting harder each time, starting from such a soft playful tug to being !! and knowing it’ll hurt, his ‘nearly there now’ being less about telling her to stay still and let him finish this plait and so much more about letting her know that he’s dying when he knows her hands are moving and where to, phrased like that for her earlier sleep now and if that’s what this plait is for, sleeping and they soon will]

Janis: [y’all don’t deserve a pat on the back and yet I’m here like this is taking a ridiculous amount of restraint, however it looks, because the closer you get, the harder it is not to fully give in, as emotionally devastating as being apart was, at least you weren’t contending with this because you cannot leave each other alone whenever you’re together and that’s the problem, no problem in how roughly he’s yanking your hair though and it’s so obvious how much you both love that, got to bite your lip to the point of a mouthful of blood yet again because you will be LOUD if you don’t, shaking your head, as hard as he allows you to, because you wanna undo all his work so he has to start again because you don’t want this to be over, despite how close to dead you are too, got to say NO about it]

Casey: [literally, us jemily as writers had to give ourselves that 3 month break because unless y’all are gonna fuck before the JJ wedding you need to calm down and you cannot ever, whenever you’re alone in this era we’re back here toe-ing this line every single damn time, I like to imagine he’s biting his lip too not knowing she is so the (now a lil bit bloody) balloon in his mouth falls and hits her on the top of her head as though it was intentional for her telling him no instead of just the accident it actually was, picking it back up via his mouth (obvs we’re still plaiting) so his bloody lip also touches the crown of her head, as a nice parallel to the blood on his neck, but not before he’s SWALLOWED HARD (and therefore loud enough to hear) to clear his mouth of at least some of the blood and spit]

Janis: [mhmm, when Ian fucks off it truly is game over for y’all but before then, at least Jemily are trying to keep you apart a little lol, not that you would know that right now but it’s her birthday and they have been for 3 months, let ‘em live, which means let them kill each other because that is what is happening here, it’s this girl spitting her blood into her balloon for me, like you could’ve swallowed it but no, instead you did that and now the potential of what you could do with it next is in the air like static !! electricity] 

Casey: [listen, we’re not saying her real bday present is to cum and make him at the same time but we’re not NOT saying that haha, it’s been in the air since that ‘massage’ fiasco and they weren’t gonna stop until they ended up here, when you hear her spit that blood into the balloon more than you see it because you had your concentration face on and a plait to try and finish against all odds so you can’t help but pull her head back the furthest and hardest he ever has to LOOK at her because 1. He wants to be able to watch her do it again 2. His eyes are screaming that he wants to drink that blood from that balloon immediately, those are the only thoughts he’s having despite the infinite possibilities]

Janis: [we all knew this is where y’all were headed, you didn’t have to come back in here so hot but you did because neither of you wanted to stop last time and we don’t need to lie about that to ourselves, you do however absolutely need to repeat what you just did for him in full view this time, maintaining that LOOK because unrepentant is how you feel, reading his thoughts because you just KNOW he wants to drink it, experimentally pushing his chin, to see if he tilts his head back to do it or he’s going to resist]

Casey: [there’s no room to lie to themselves or each other at this point when this boy is as unrepentantly the most turned on he has ever been and couldn’t hide that if he wanted to (and he doesn’t want to, like I said, so) only able to FEEL the LOOK because he’s watching that repeated action so intently, copying her earlier grabby hands involuntarily even before she’s touched his chin, whilst said hands are still buried in her hair so she’ll feel him do that, spitting his own balloon out once again, this time aiming to hit her chest, right on her heart like okay hold this, defs leaving a wet patch on her top (to go with the one on her shoulder from before) when that balloon hits, blood and spit both having hardcore collected even if only on the long tie up bit, making her wait until he literally does finish the plait before eventually tilting his head back, obvs, but not dramatically as if he is resisting a lil, giving her room to make it more dramatic herself if she wants, because we’re always here for the playfight ™ ]

Janis: [you are both about to die and there’s 0 way of hiding that, whatever you’re wearing, we know she is so wet to the point of it coming through and onto him and the heat would be insane even if it weren’t that bad (which it is), it cannot be overstated how her voice sounds when she (just) manages to say ‘I have to do it’ at his grabby hands, as she pushes his head back unnecessarily far, it’s giving dentist here lowkey, because no, you can’t be trusted to do it yourself but also I NEED to get to feed you because hasn’t got to do it to him yet and it is a need not a want now, even though you know full well this is about to end you both as you’re prizing his mouth open like he’s a cat that needs to take a pill, doing a shudder about it, not horrified here, just that into it]

Casey: [mhmm, yet another reason why his cliche grey joggers are a must because that wetness will go through onto him and it will be as OBVIOUS as possible ‘do it then’ sounding like a growl almost because his voice is ridiculously hoarse like this boy’s been screaming his head off constantly because they have had to show incredible levels of restraint like my boo said, clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly like we NEED it to be open af to swallow every drop of her blood, falling back onto this bed accidentally on purpose like she really pushed him down that hard he now needs to be fully lying on his back LOOKING at her, pulling her on top of him so she’s just shamelessly straddling him while they do this and he feels that shudder against him, the grin is giving evil or manic when she pulls his mouth open]

Janis: [exactly dr phil, we know you’ll be wearing them until they get so disgusting you cannot anymore, y’all love a reminder and being ferally gross so you’re welcome, also welcome boy for the way she says your name with emphasis when you pull her on top of you, like she’s telling you off but could not sound more indecent about it, doing the same wiping the smile off your face gesture he did, but wiping her own lips first so we’re smearing any residual blood and spit onto your face before we’ve even started with this balloon, not that we can force ourselves to wait any longer purely to tease you because we just gotta do it, coming at it with that frantic energy because no holding back now and you are both dying about it]

Casey: [sentimental is the wrong word when it’s that gross lol but they both are and the more reminders the better when you’re too !! to properly and fully commit every second of this to memory how you’d want to, neither of them has said the other’s name until then (in person anyway, she said it once when they were chatting) so how apt that’s when it is and there would be no holding back his physical reaction to it so she’s welcome for how fully she can feel that straddling him the way she is, and for the heart eyes when she’s wiping the smile off his face but actually covering him in bodily fluids, it’s him saying ILY without literally saying it again because she’s coming at him and there’s no chance to speak even if he could find words for what’s about to happen and then is happening, like my boo said before, this will KILL him, there’s just no way it wouldn’t]

Janis: [you are both going to die and thank god because holding back is truly impossible now and the only reason she isn’t kissing him is because it is a physical impossibility with how we’re getting there, therefore burrowing your face into one of his armpits and hiding as you bite whatever your teeth can get a hold of, be it duvet, his top or him, there’s no time or capacity to be thinking about anything because you cannot believe this is happening (like I don’t know why you thought you could just dryhump each other forever and not wind up here but lol), truly shooketh to your core in the realest way that you’re cumming on top of him and you’ve just made him cum and that this is not just a dream, despite biting down like you are in labour to try not to SCREAM about all this, there is obviously SOUNDS because you’re only human and can only do so much, your knees are CLENCHING either side of him so he can’t move anywhere but into you even if he wanted to]

Casey: [these fools really thought they could not only dryhump forever but also be practically mute about it and that just makes me laugh because the balloon is likewise only doing so much for this boy even if like her earlier he ends up chewing on it at the end to get every last bit of her blood and spit out into his mouth, y’all didn’t expect any of this to hit the way that it did and is but you should’ve known because you know damn well how high your feelings are and how long you’ve wanted that to happen, we should probably say that she’s biting the duvet if she’s biting down that hard, not only will it muffle the sound the most but it’ll also mean he isn’t injured (however much you’d enjoy being sir, we can build up to that) because quite enough mess is being made as is, quite enough noise too, which is how I know Twix will make her reappearance to see wtf is going on lol, whichever one of y’all she ends up humping because she KNOWS, he will lol regardless because gotta despite still being very shook to his core too, it’ll break the !! a little anyway and stop y’all just being frozen in this current position] 

Janis: [fair, avoid his body girl, even if we’re saying it is entirely accidental on your part, you don’t need to maim him when you are both already in a complete state of shock and awe about what y’all just did, Twix killing the mood so severely is funny but also mortifying for her, I say oh babes, you aren’t joining in, if nothing else it makes y’all move without it being either of y’alls decision, technically, just like stop it miss ma’am, here shaking our head at her so judgmentally lmao]

Casey: [exactly, whether he’s fighting this dog off himself or dragging her off Janis he isn’t moving because he wants to and has post nut clarity regret and horror and that’s important because you’d both be well within your rights to freak out and can at any point but that isn’t what’s happening here, not yet anyway, taking this dog to her fave toy she likes to hump (which is probably lying on his bedroom floor somewhere) like excuse you go and see your bf and leave us be, cos he’s amused af and not judging this dog or getting cross at her, he’s in too good for a mood for obvious reasons haha, when he comes back, taking the balloon string he used to tie these balloons to his bed and into the bin OG and tying her plait up for her like if she keeps shaking her head it’ll all come loose and his efforts will be for nothing]

Janis: [and who can say when that freak out may arrive but yes, for right now, we’re happily blaming Twix like what was happening before she came in was normal and absolutely something two besties should just be doing and you’re not coming down from your high, pardon the pun, ‘rude’ as you look at this toy like she mistook whichever one of you it was for it because undoubtedly offensive lol, pushing all your flyaway hairs out of your sweaty face whilst he’s dealing with this plait because y’all are both a hot mess and we know it, may as well start to attend to yourself to keep busy]

Casey: [literally, there is no telling when the guilt is gonna hit for either of you but for rn he’s not letting it in, instead he’s either pulling a face to try and resemble this toy if he was the one humped like what do you reckon, are we dead ringers for each other or telling her how much fitter she is than [insert whatever silly name this toy has] like tehe but it’s dead serious how hot she is and looks to him in this moment ™ as a mess, he’s into it and he always will be, after being silly, genuinely trying to be a good host and asking her if she wants a drink because sweaty, not specifying if he means alcohol or tea or something else entirely]

Janis: [smiling up at him, because you weren’t fully avoiding eye contact before but you weren’t going out of your way to make it, pushing him away (gently) to push yourself back into the headboard of his bed to get comfy like don’t mind if I do, tucking your feet under the duvet and smoothing out the insane tangle it was from your antics ‘is too late for your clean sheets’ like go on then, fixating on the bit of this cover that you were BITING because would be a particular mess like OH]

Casey: [again, him going to fetch this drink will give you both a minute to collect yourselves (or enjoy the flashbacks if that’s how you’re feeling lol) without it being a thing ™ so you’re both welcome for that, he isn’t looking at her bitten part of the duvet or else he will never leave he and I both know, but later he’ll deffo do his own fixating on it (amongst other things no doubt), in the here and now he’s gonna go and make her some warm milk for the getting to sleep of it all (okay babygirl remix, love that) with some brandy in it and Winnie will be glad to know, probs some honey too, not this boy slaving over a pan on the stove as if they didn’t just cum the HARDEST, I love him]

Janis: [she will be lying down to fixate harder so well done for matching his vibe accidentally, you would be getting slightly nervous the longer this is taking like has he left, oh my god but thankfully not, sitting back up as he walks in, looking at this drink quizically but shamelessly intrigued]

Casey: [the way I know he hasn’t had a drink himself because we ONLY wanna taste her blood and spit for as long as possible even if it means he’ll dehydrate to death, so he’ll be as flushed if not more so for heating milk up in the kitchen lol, putting this glass in her hand instead of just putting it on the bedside table in a chill manner because he wants her to drink it not leave it to get a skin on like baby Junie HATED and to this day can’t cope with, plus it lets her feel the temp so she doesn’t chug it or anything like you might a cold drink, getting onto the bed next to her as if that’s casual and you aren’t lowkey expecting her to bolt any second/ thinking she’d have already snuck out while you were preparing that]

Janis: [touching the back of your hand to his forehead and then to this glass, like you’re comparing temps because he’s that flushed, also you would LOVE to chug this for him/for yourself but you cannot, so you sip it properly missy girl ‘did your mum make this for you?’ because it is giving that or a grandmother, wiping your mouth with the same back of the hand you just used]

Casey: [‘drink your milk’ like shh/don’t take the piss as if she hardcore is about how flushed this boy’s face is, but it’s said with pure AFFECTION as well as the obvious DO IT energy of also wanting her to babygirl chug it even though she can’t, nodding at her question because why not ‘taste the brandy more in hers’ because you can’t tell me that Debbie isn’t the kind of mother to dose her children like that so they’d sleep/stop crying/anything and so he put a drop in and she absolutely did not, but again, this horrific childhood fact is said affectionately like oh you mother because that’s just who he is]

Janis: [we know you’re drinking it faster than you should, even if you can’t do it in one, you’re going to get such a full stomach, do not make yourself sick girl just because y’all are into it, pulling a face like oh really at the brandy because you wouldn’t have clocked that that’s what you’re drinking here ‘whiskey too Irish for yous’ because giving what you’ve heard, even if your mother would have never fully dosed you, don’t need to get on one about Debs rn]

Casey: [we all know he isn’t taking it off her and feeding her it to be like whoa now slow down (because he’d be into it if she threw up too, we’re all aware) even though he is doing it slowly to prolong this as always, ‘her recipe, I weren’t thinking how else to tweak it for you’ with a shrug, like you’re welcome there isn’t half a bottle of brandy in there lol and said like oh you and your irish pride all of a sudden because can’t believe the church wedding is real but we’re not trying to get on one about that either, tis sleepy time]

Janis: [at least you can’t fully lay down because it’s a glass not a bottle, got to support yourself so you don’t go full baby girl mode here, as much as you’d like to, raising your brows and nodding mid gulp to tell him you think it’s nice because don’t trust you to actually try to vocalise what you are thinking]

Casey: [lay her down when this glass is empty and not before thank you sir, which it will eventually be however long you’re deliberately taking over doing this, resist the urge to wrap your arms around her immediately because that would make her sick, you always do it too hard and here and now wouldn’t be exception, focus on getting yourself comfy and under these covers you were just on top of the entire time and then tucking her in, again not full swaddle or she’ll be sick, but like she’s little girl ™ and not baby, and then hold her, being careful to be the gentlest you ever have with it, nbd] 

Janis: [not you burping, which you can pretend you did just to be gross and bants but you genuinely could not help it because full of milk for real so you’re getting flushed yourself once more like embarrassing, propping yourself up on the pillow so you hopefully don’t do it again, closing his eyes for him like right, night night, nothing to see here, also being gentle about it though, stroking his cheeks briefly once his eyes are closed]

Casey: [you can tell it’s genuine because you know each other like that, so taking one of his arms from around her and rubbing her back, gently in comforting circles, not hardcore thumping her like you burp a baby, keeping that going the entire time she closes his eyes and strokes his cheeks, pulling on the end of the plait sometimes like that’s just part of the rhythm here, also gently, whenever his hand finds it, likewise sometimes running his fingers over the parts of this messy plait itself like that’s another thing to get lost in doing over and over as y’all try and fall asleep]

Janis: [rubbing your stomach in the same circles he’s doing on your back, because you are skinny and you’ve not been eating well, so you would be amusingly bloated by what you eat before you ran here and this milk, pressing said stomach into him like lol feel that because you don’t even know what a kink that’s going to be in the future yet, thinking you’re just being silly]

Casey: [it’s all fun and games until it’s not lads and rn it is because that kink has not been fully unlocked yet and won’t be until baby Jac enters the chat because y’all are both thinking you’re anti babies and would never, we’re still in our SHE’s a baby mindset lol, still we’d be lying if we said that doesn’t awaken something in him a little bit, even if it’s very much lurking in the back of his mind and in this moment he’s just sharing her amusement, getting his phone to find content of the fattest most milk drunk baby he can and say ‘that’s you’] 

Janis: [smirking but nodding your head until it comes to rest on his shoulder because yes, it is ‘your fault’ as a grumble because who did this, sir but you know she’s not mad, just overwhelmed ‘think of your search history, dickhead’ swiping off and opening a video/music/whatever that he’s accessed recently]

Casey: [‘your fault’ entirely meaning his feral search history because duh it’s always all about her and let’s all think about THAT, pretending none of us are dwelling hardcore on that by telling her how small of a glass it was but being like it was only … oz because how you measure alcohol but also babies bottles, gotta be done, implying she’s a pussy and it’s not his fault she can’t handle such a small amount of milk but saying it so softly]

Janis: [doing another smaller nod, not raising your head off of his shoulder because you know what he means and you know that’s the truth ‘it’s my birthday’ whether you are saying you could’ve had more brandy/he has to be nice to you, unclear, or perhaps you’re just realising that it is and you’re here]

Casey: [putting his arms around her again, pulling her into him even closer because he can always be nicer however nice he’s been ‘and you’re happy’ not as a question because you’re scared to pose it in case she’s like no and you’d rather just pretend you know she is and you’re cockily saying it despite your tone being nothing of the sort, it’s still just soft]

Janis: [putting your arms around him too for a proper cuddle, even if you can’t squeeze the life out of each other right now ‘are you?’ making the foolish error of posing the question, though your tone is light and casual, you are whispering, the only outward sign that you’re not totally chill but you need to know, even though it’s not his birthday and it’s so risky to ask]

Casey: [his ‘yeah’ coming out with no hesitation whatsoever because they’re hugging and she hasn’t fled the scene of the crime motified and he just truly is, soz jimothy but this is what he’s always wanted, to be with her like this and he’s had so few chances to ever in all the years they’ve known each other, feral antics or not aside (and they truly can’t be put aside either so, yeah he’s thrilled) not as a whisper but keeping his soft tone going and being quiet]

Janis: [repeating it back, because right now, you feel the same way and you gain nothing from denying that, you are happy and this is where you want to be, you may be pushing everything else in your life aside but that isn’t to be dealt with here and now, not when you’re cosy and genuinely sleepy ‘will you wake me?’ with a real yawn because you don’t want to fall asleep and wake up and everything has changed, which is the only thing keeping you awake by now lowkey]

Casey: [finding a way to pull her even closer so their bodies are touching as much as they can possibly be and you’ve got her held as tightly as you dare without making her vom ‘meant to be you waking me’ because OG it was but we’re smiling as we say this because ofc he wouldn’t leave her asleep when he went to work to wake up alone at god knows what o clock]

Janis: [letting out a little sigh, because the only other thing keeping you awake is how much you want him but you have rules and you would be breaking them if you went further and you know that, smiling against his skin as you snuggle into him fully, laying more on him than you are the bed at this point ‘I’ll try to’ like alright but don’t count on it]

Casey: [that’s mutual af, we all know, as is the fact it’s only a matter of time before they both say fuck it break those rules, that time has not come yet though, nod to wherever his phone has ended up because he’d have an alarm set to fall back on, smiling at Twix who has ambled back and got on the end of the bed by their feet like Crim because if nothing else, this jealous dog will wake y’all given the way you’re all over each other] 

Janis: [mhmm, we haven’t got long but you would be taking a hell of a risk to do it now and you’ve risked it all quite enough for one day, thank you, it’s you going to say something about Twix and her jealousy but stopping in your tracks because you actually do not want to think about her doing this to other random gals he has over, nay nay, quite literally shaking your head as if you’re just getting comfy]

Casey: [it’s me wanting to SCREAM that he doesn’t snuggle any of the girls he has over and instead kicks them out asap if they even get brought back (which is rare af and purely accidental through being too drunk/high) because lbr he only brings girls back when he lives with JJ cos he wants her to react and there is none of that when Ian’s, not only because that man is a messy bitch like he said when she mentioned friends moving in but because he doesn’t care enough about said girls and also there are nowhere near as many of them before he moves in with y’all either, but I can’t tell her any of this because she hasn’t spoken any of it aloud and he thinks she is just getting comfy, do a cute yawn sir and leave it at that]

Janis: [my boo pounding on the window like Mae Mobely, she says girl don’t spiral but we can’t tell you any of this and you are making a decision here and now to do your best to not because ultimately not your business (even if we know you do care, very much lol) instead say your ‘morning, night’ thing and try to sleep]

[ptergwen]

you know that one scene in ffh when people keep knocking on the door while fury is trying to speak to peter? could you maybe do something like that but instead it’s peter and stark reader wanting some alone time (you can make it smut or fluff idm!) also, i am so in love with your work it’s amazing :)❣️

knock before you enter

w/c: 1.3k

warnings: implied smut, dirty jokes, swearing

a/n: i went a lil overboard because i was having too much fun :,) and i kinda combined the two i hope that’s okay!

-

you let out a breath of relief as peter finally presses his lips to yours. he grins at that, his hands continuing to roam your body while you kiss. it’s a needy kiss, one you’ve been waiting the whole day to share.

you’d thought europe of all places would give you the opportunity to explore each other more. you’re away from your overbearing father, you don’t have team responsibilities. there was one mishap with a water monster nearly destroying the city. you both managed to fight it off together. tony was right to make you bring your suit, and may encouraged her nephew to do the same. the stark’s and parker’s think alike.

most of the pestering you’ve faced this trip has come from your teachers and fellow classmates. whether it’s mr. dell assigning work or flash trying to film you two for a livestream, you and peter can’t get a moment alone. that’s about to change. you’re in peter’s hotel room after a fun yet highly supervised day in venice.

most kids are getting ready for bed, at mr. harrington’s request. he’s adamant on everyone having a good night sleep before the walking tour you’re taking tomorrow. you and peter plan to do everything but sleep, however.

“you taste like toothpaste,” peter mumbles against your mouth, arms winding around your back. “is that a good or bad thing?” you giggle and tug at his undone curls. that elicits a high pitched whine from him. “depends on who you ask. me personally, i think it’s sexy.” he’s laying over you on his bed, your fingers tangling in his locks. “open up, then,” you practically purr. peter happily obliges and resumes his kissing.

right when his tongue glides over your lower lip, there’s a knock on the wall.

“i thought you said ned wouldn’t be back…” your words trail off when peter starts to kiss down your neck. “for a while,” you add, softer. “he won’t. last time i checked, he was with betty,” peter replies and effortlessly finds your sweet spot. he nudges it with his nose, making a smile spread across your face. “ok, keep going,” you pull on the roots of his hair gently. peter pecks at your lips. “gotcha, baby.”

he’s kissing his way back to your sweet spot when there’s more knocking, this time much louder. with quirked eyebrows, peter detaches his lips from your skin. “um… hello?” he hesitantly answers. “finally. i was ready to come kick down your door, you idiot,” mj speaks through the thin wall. you squeeze your eyes shut in annoyance, not saying anything. “what do you want, mj? it’s late,” peter sighs back.

“so what? i know you’re not sleeping,” mj insists, leaning against the wall. “i can hear everything. hey, y/n.” peter’s face tints a light shade of pink. you make wide eyes up at him. “hi, i guess. you good over there?” her lips form a line. “i was until the horrendous sounds of parker clapping your cheeks disturbed my reading.” peter grips at your waist with a pout.

“what? we weren’t- i- i didn’t-“ “spare me the details,” mj sharply cuts in, opening whatever mystery novel she recently bought. “i don’t care what you do, as long as you do it quietly. deal?” seeing as peter is too flustered to speak, you take over again. “yeah, sorry. we’ll tone it down. goodnight, em.” “ciao,” she says before returning to her book.

peter shakes his head, fully burying his face in your neck. “that was embarrassing. she’s so…” “nosy,” you finish for him. your fingers brush back some hair that flopped over his forehead. “at least she’s not telling on us or whatever.” he puffs air out of his cheeks, placing a kiss under your chin. “true. you wanna pick up where we left off?” “ugh, yes,” you instantly groan.

your lips are colliding with peter’s again, just like that. it isn’t for too long. his hands settle on your stomach and under your shorts, then you hear someone banging on the door. they talk before either you or peter can tell them to fuck off.

“y/n, is that you?” brad questions, your face twisting in confusion. “uh, yeah. how’d you know?” peter bites the inside of his cheek while brad converses. “i stopped by your room. betty said you might be here… with him.” the him in question is peter, who chuckles bitterly. “what’s up, buddy? we’re kind of in the middle of something. i’m sure you knew that, too.”

“i didn’t, but thanks for sharing,” brad sarcastically responds. “y/n said she’d give me her notes on one of the da vinci exhibits.” peter cocks his head to the side. “she did?” he wonders, looking over at you. “you did?” “it was either that or help him myself,” you explain and drag your fingers along the back of his neck soothingly. “the kid doesn’t leave me alone.”

peter nods, wrapping a protective arm around your middle. “she’ll give you them tomorrow, brad. isn’t it past your bedtime?” “point taken,” brad scoffs and heads back to his room. you draw peter in closer to you. “thanks, pete. hopefully, that’ll be our last guest for the night.” he kisses both your cheeks with a grin. “where were we, mio amore?”

“ooh, i love it when you speak italian,” you giggle, peter cupping your face in his hands.“grazie, bellissima.” he winks and earns a puzzled face from you. “bellissima?” “that means beautiful.” instead of responding with words, you use your mouth to move on his. peter happily kisses back and lets your tongues intertwine. things quickly heat up, peter slipping your shorts down your legs and you lifting his pajama shirt.

you’re both only half undressed and running off broken up kisses, but so desperate. you part your legs for peter, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties. “think you can keep your oath of silence?” he teases and nips at your covered collarbone. “the real question is, can you?” you challenge. peter doesn’t get the chance to answer because the door suddenly flies open.

there stands ned, his mouth agape at the sight of a shirtless peter undressing you. you’re the first to notice. you see over peter’s shoulder and gasp. concern covers his features. “what is it, baby? do you want-“ “ned!” you whisper yell. his concern becomes shock. “you want ned?” “no, peter! he’s right there!” teeth sinking into your lip, you point behind him. peter looks and surely enough, there’s his best friend rendered speechless in the doorway.

“dude, what the hell are you doing here?” peter squeaks, you grabbing your shorts from next to you. he turns around to shield you while you put them back on. “aren’t you supposed to be with betty?” “we, um, finished,” ned gulps in response. “finished what- oh.” peter scratches the back of his neck as it hits him. “yuck, ned. a gentleman never tells.” “says you! this is my room too, you know,” he defends himself, you moving out from behind peter.

“and betty’s room is also mine. consider us even,” you hand peter his t-shirt with a satisfied smirk. he murmurs a thank you and throws it back on. ned uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot in the doorway. “that’s fair… are you leaving now?” “i should before mr. harrington makes his rounds,” you reluctantly decide. “i liked it better when people actually knocked,” peter says under his breath, standing to give you a goodnight hug.

“it’s not even this bad at home. i’ll take my dad and friday spying on us over a walk of shame any day,” you exhale as peter pulls you into his chest. hugging back by his torso, you give him an innocent kiss on the cheek. his lips brush your forehead. “maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow. should we try again, same time?” a familiar and irritated voice yells through the wall. mj.

“please god, no!”

[robinlmaoo]

Welcome to my Sky: COTL ask/art blog! :D

This is an account where I do multiple things, such as post art (mainly scribbles gahahaha), animations (i do mainly short animation memes/clips but i have BIG plans for BIG animatics) and… roleplay! (not that good at roleplaying yet and i might lose interest if it gets monotone but im still up for any asks/character interactions, would welcome them actually!)

Information about me…

Im quite a hardcore spirit enjoyer and tend to focus on spirits more than skykids. I still have SOME skykid OCs though, such as my sky persona Robin and the two gay coconuts whom i still have not named.

If and when you ever role-play with me, just know that I am not one for themes of heavy gore (like intestines exposed brain whatever), or NSFW themes. I am okay with roleplaying with minor gore (injuries that arent too graphic like cuts/stab wounds?), character death and angst, and swearing, though Robin wont do this themselves.

Asking + Roleplaying

My ask box is open for any random crap you might wanna drop in.

You can ask any character currently in Robin’s story, whether it be a spirit, skykid.

You can ask:

Genuine questions about the story/character

Random things you wanna say to the characters

A character interaction prompt?

Playfully rude stuff.

You may not ask:

Genuinely rude/derogatory stuff thats meant to put others down

Anything NSFW/a little too inappropriate for the record

You may not ask the characters “The Gay Coconuts” yet, because theyre very random characters I threw into the story for no reason and I literally have no idea what to do with them… yet

I use a character padlet to organise the characters in my story because they can get a lil messy sometimes. Heres the link!

Tags associated with my account:

#robin the skykid - for when i post about my main skysona, Robin!

#saki the seed - for when i post about the Seed Of Hope in the context of my universe, where they are named ‘Saki’.

#robin reflects - when me, the op of this (and @those-aurora-spirits) say something :)

Thats all. I might add more depending on what happens. Have a good day!

[taags-old-account]

HEHEHEHE AU IDEA

As the title says above: I have an idea for an AU. None of us have really created any recently (for the fact that it's October and everybody is writing but me). So I thought I would slide over some content for an AU idea that is another bout of pure self indulgence!:

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TOA/STAR WARS CROSSOVER AU

Ok, I don't know if this has been mentioned before, if it has then whatever. I have ideas and I want to share 'em.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why it would actually be pretty interesting/cool:

Akaridion-5's relationship with the rest of the galaxy

We know almost nothing about the planet except that it creates and sends out blanks to the galaxy and has really great tech otherwise we know nothing. This would be a cool opportunity to add lore and headcanons.

I headcanon for this AU is that Akaridion-5's shields were so strong that the Star Destroyers couldn't breakthrough. So when the first Death Star was created the Empire planned to destroy the rebels then move on to Akaridion-5 (gonna shorten it down to A-5). If they couldn't take A-5 then they'll destroy it. But said Death Star was destroyed and the Star Wars plot flows smoothly. Though that is just my idea.

Either way: I think it would be interesting for more lore about space and its concepts to come through.

The TOA crew could legitimately make any part of Star Wars 10x better

They would. They could and would totally make better. The original trilogy, Prequel, and Sequel, and side series (me totally not thinking of the Mandalorian because I want Din to adopt them- NOOOOO)

But it would totally turn into a crossover fix-it fic. And depending on which part the larger or smaller the fixing may get.

Battle scenes probably wouldn't be so high stakes because there's a wee wittle moppet over there named Douxie and he-could-kill-you-with-no-hesitation dON'T ANGER HIM

The Gun Robot has to show up for at least one fight.

... LIGHTSABERS

TOA space-styled weapons and armor go brrrr.

I WANT THEM TO HAVE SPACE SWORDS OKAY

The characters actually meeting each other would be cool

I didn't really think much into this *COUGH* MANDO ADOPTING THEM *COUGH* but it would be cool.

There is such a wide range of personalities from both universes so it's hard to pick and choose who would get along and who wouldn't.

But correct me if I'm wrong but Krel would totally want to fix all these beat-up ships *ANOTHER COUGH* The Falcon and The Razors Crest *ANOTHER COUGH*. Han and Mando both adamantly refuse. Krel still manages to sneak some VERY HELPFUL tech in.

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EITHER WAY-

I HAVE IDEAS ON THIS

[kiame-sama]

b + h + i + l w/ uvogin pretty please?

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As messy as he needs to be. Uvogin doesn’t shy away from blood and he is one of the few members of the Troupe who kills with a wide smile on his face. He won’t want to hurt his darling, but he will happily hurt anyone else if it means he gets to keep/ protect his darling. Man already has a pile of bodies, he is happy to add more to the pile.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Odds are, Uvo will go out of his way to seem as normal as possible around his darling (he likely won’t tell them about his affiliation with the Phantom Troupe). The only thing that could make this facade break would be if someone were going after his darling for any reason. He won’t let a damn thing hurt his darling, so he will happily slaughter that person. Odds are he will kill that person the moment they present a threat and his darling is gonna see him kill. He would be terrifying at that point, covered in blood and silently approaching. Odds are his darling will be rather skittish around him after that.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He doesn’t exactly bond with others all that often, so if he finds a darling he bonds with, he will go through hell and back to keep his darling with him and keep his darling safe. Much like how he will protect the members of the Troupe with his life, he will do the same with his darling. He plans to keep his darling no matter what, so if that means he pretends to be domestic for years, he will. If his darling realizes the truth about him and tries to run, he will be just as content to keep his darling as a captive. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Depends on how he meets his darling. If he meets his darling in a non-violent way, such as in passing or randomly on the street, he will be gentle in his pursuit. Uvo may be a bear of a man, but he does have intelligence under that savage need to kill.

He would likely start with having Shalnark figure out as much as possible about his darling to plan how he should approach them. Odds are, he will start with ‘randomly’ running into them or crossing paths with him. Once a general repore has been established, he will be more likely to invite his darling places under the excuse of just hanging out with friends. From that point he will try to impress his darling or get them whatever they want whenever they spend time together. He will be the big protective bear for his darling and will basically just start dating them without anyone saying anything officially. He will make the first move, but he will just as happily wait for his darling to make the first move if they want.  He will also be the kind of always hovering, always watching, needs to know who you are with and where you are at all times kind of significant other.

If he meets his darling in the context of violence, he’s gonna do the typical tie-em-up and throw ‘em over the shoulder kidnapping. He’s likely gonna try to get his darling to not be afraid of him by being more gentle with them, but if they insist on running, he will make his darling fear him so they never try to run again. He will be more animalistic in his behavior towards his darling in keeping them with him and guarding them as one guards a mate, but he will still attempt to court them gently.

[kkpaaw]

Seashell Trolls

This is gonna be a. long post so be prepared.

First let me start off with the general. These guys came to my mind randomly yesterday and I just had to make them. So i did. I spent pretty much all day today working on these guys and whole they may look wierd, I love them and am really proud of how they look

So why make a sea based Troll species? Simple. It's because we have literally only one. The Techno Trolls. The ocean is vast and there are so many creatures to base Trolls off of in the ocean so I figured why not make a sea Troll species? We have a bunch of land trolls so let's add onto the sea ones ok? I know these guys may not look like trolls to some of yall but considering that this is basically an AU I'm not worried about that lmao

Anyway lemme stop rambling and introduce yall to the Seashell Trolls!

First thing I wanna show yall is this sheet I made

This basically goes over the important aspects of their anatomy and what makes them seashell trolls

ANATOMY

• Fisrt thing to note is that these guys are small. In fact they actually match Smidge in terms of height(and we all know how small Smidge is)

• Unlike smidge though(who has her strength and hair to make up for her small stature) Seashell Trolls have none of that. They are a pretty weak species and their shells, depending on the size, only add a little bit of height

• Speaking of shells, notice how the center focus Shell Troll has a small shell while the ones at the bottom have bigger ones? That's because there isn't just one size for shells not just one kind either, they can be any kind and any shape.

• Another thing to note is that they aren't actually born with the shells, Shellings(baby Seashell Trolls) seek them out when they hatch, like an instinct sort of thing.

• Because of this, in order to help the Shellings get a shell without going too far from safety. They have an area in their home that specifically has millions of Unused/Unclaimed shells that their parents can take their Shelling to claim a shell.

• Picking a shell isn't just some random thing for Seashell Trolls. It's a sacred one time thing as Shelling's only pick shells they feel bonds with, meaning that their shells mean a lot to them and they don't just swap out or get rid of the shells. They stick with them for life

• Another things to note is the antennae on the Seashell Trolls. They have two different types of Antennas, Prickly/Fuzzy and Coral.

BIOLOGY

• Jumping right to it they can spit water at others(think of a blowhole from a whale or a dolphin but with their mouths) it's not all that powerful it's mostly used as a way to distract a predator or just have fun

• Despite being very small, they are surprisingly fast and can be very tricky to catch if they aren't caught off guard

• They also are amazing trackers, as they can sense the heat trail that living beating emitting and therefore can track others long after they have dissapeared. They also often find all types of valuable items

• Seashell Trolls tend to come in all sorts of crazy colors with many having multiple colors on their bodies as shown below.

• In contrast their shells are usually dull in color. This helps them to blend into the sand if they need too.

• Bonding is something that Seashell trolls take seriously. You don't bond with someone(s) unless you plan to stay mates for life

• When a seashell troll is courting someone(s) they will usually start the courting process by breaking off a piece of their shell and giving it to their person of courting, usually by making a piece of jewelry with it. This is a sign that the troll is serious in their courtship as said above, Seashell trolls value their shells and never separate from them once chosen as a Shelling

• Seashell Trolls can mate with anyone of any gender, but in order to have a kid they would need a mate(or mates)

HOME AND GOVERNMENT

• Seashell Trolls live in groups all throughout the ocean(like shells) the biggest group(and the one I'm focusing on for any future drawings of this species) resides in a small underwater rocky coral reef close to the first level of the seafloor as they like to remain close to the sand incase they need to dig under it to protect themselves

• Due to being such a weak and small species, they actually heavily reli on bigger creatures(like crabs or lobsters) to offer protection from others predators(the kicker is that crabs and lobsters are common predators for them so they are basically seeking help from one of their predators)

• This has created a very unbalanced system for them however, as their protectors often require they work for them and do almost impossible tasks in the threat that if they don't, they won't offer their protection anymore

• This particular group is under the rule of Queen Urbosa, a large Lobster who has offered her protection in return that the Seashell trolls do whatever she says, in which they agreed.

• She's not a good one and often abuses the absolute hell out of her power which ends up going bad for the Seashell Trolls

• She's actually forbid them from singing and dancing outloud unless they are performing for her so if they want to sing they have to be quiet or be secret about it

MUSIC

• Please don't kill me, but I'm making their music genre Nightcore

I KNOW I KNOW, Nightcore isn't an actual official Genre because of the fact that it basically takes pre-existing music and just makes it high pitch and sped up, I'm well aware. However, it still is under EDM like Techno and since I imagine Shell Trolls having high pitched voices(with the exception of a rare few) it works for me

_____

ALRIGHTY

You still here? If so great! You've reached the end!

I truly hope you guys like them because I worked really hard on them and I'm super proud of how they came out(heck even if u don't I'm still happy with em). Do, very much do, expect to see more from the Seashell Trolls as I will be expanding on their universe and introduce you to some characters I'll be mainly focusing on (hint hint you've already seen them)

Bye bye for now!

[searchingwardrobes]

The Convenient Groom: 10/14

Well, here it is everyone! One of the chapters I have been really looking forward to! There’s no kissing, but I give you platonic bed sharing plus emotional hurt/comfort with a side of jealousy. Enjoy!

Summary: Killian Jones just happens to be there when Emma Swan gets the phone call that changes everything: her fiance is leaving her at the altar. The thing is, it could also mean the end of her career. Convenient that Killian has nothing better to do that day. Convenient that he’s secretly in love with her. Not that Emma has to know that. Written for @spartanguard​​ .

Rating: M

Words: about 5k in this chapter

Also on Ao3

Tagging:@snowbellewells​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​ @kmomof4​​ @let-it-raines​ @teamhook​​ @bethacaciakay​​ @xhookswenchx​​ @tiganasummertree​ @shireness-says​​ @stahlop​​ @scientificapricot​​ @welllpthisishappening​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​ @thislassishooked​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @kday426​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​ @lfh1226-linda​​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @nikkiemms​ @distant-rose @optomisticgirl​​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @carpedzem​ @ohmakemeahercules​​ @branlovestowrite​ @superchocovian​ @sherlockianwhovian​​ @vvbooklady1256​ @hollyethecurious​​ @winterbaby89​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ @jennjenn615​ @snidgetsafan​

Emma sighed as she polished off another piece of toast. She brushed the crumbs from her lap and relaxed into the comfortable chair on the back porch. She enjoyed the view of the ocean and the soothing sound of surf. It felt wonderful to be out in the fresh air after days cooped up inside sick. She contemplated going back to the kitchen for something more substantial, but she had given Killian her word. Besides, she’d already pushed her luck by spreading an extremely thin layer of butter on her toast.

Her cell phone started ringing on the patio table, and she jumped as if Killian had some sort of sixth sense about the butter. It was Ruby calling, however, not Killian.

“Hey, Rubes.”

“Hey, Ems,” Ruby’s simple reply was laced with meaning, “sooo, how’s it going being married to Mr. Hottie? Please tell me he leaves crumbs in the bed or smells really bad when he first wakes up in the morning. Otherwise I’ll be depressed over the state of my love life.”

Emma laughed as she flicked a few more errant crumbs off her pajama pants. “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he’s annoyingly neat. As for what he smells like when he wakes up, I wouldn’t know.”

There was a fumbling sound on the other end and a muttered curse from Ruby. “I’m sorry, I almost dropped my phone. How the hell do you not know? Please tell me you’re not -”

“Making him sleep on the couch? Well, yes. This isn’t the fifteenth century where I sold my body for a goat or something.”

“So the poor man has to sleep on the couch indefinitely?”

“Well, technically, I’ve slept on the couch the past couple of days. I had some sort of stomach bug.”

“That sucks, Ems, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Killian took good care of me.

“Did he?” Once again, Ruby’s voice was laced with unspoken meaning.

“Don’t start, Ruby, he was just being nice.”

“If he took care of you when you were sick, I personally think you should let him back in the bed.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I can’t let him back in bed if he was never in it to begin with.”

“Girl, I would change that arrangement ASAP.”

Emma just laughed and shook her head. “Ruby -”

“Emma,” her friend countered, “if you’re going to be married to that for a year, you might as well enjoy it.”

“And the purpose of this call is exactly . . . “

“Fine, fine,” Ruby muttered, “straight to business, if that’s what you want.”

“Yes. Please.”

“Okay, well Regina asked me to call and go over your itinerary for the book promotion.”

Emma rose from her chair to go back inside and find her laptop so she could pull up her calendar. “That’s good. I feel so out of the loop. I mean, I’m back to normal at my practice, but the new book has honestly been the last thing on my mind.”

“I don’t blame you with that fine piece of -”

“Ruby,” Emma cut her off, “focus.”

“Right, right, okay . . . so, we’ve got that interview set up on The Tiana Show. And Regina did tell you that will also have a Q&A segment with the audience, right?”

“Mhm,” Emma said as she scrolled through her calendar, “yeah, I made a note of that.”

“They also requested that Killian be there, and Regina okayed it.”

“Wait - what?”

Ruby’s voice was reassuring. “They just want him in the audience. You know, so they can pan to his reactions and stuff.”

Emma slouched back on the couch and wearily rubbed her forehead. “Ruby, how could the two of you not check with me first? Killian has a business to run. He might not be able to take off to New York in the middle of the week.”

“I don’t know, the man seems pretty willing to come running when you call.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, never mind,” Ruby said hurriedly. She changed the subject to the next item on Emma’s itinerary, and Emma didn’t press it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what her friend meant by the comment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Killian came home from work, he had a huge pot of chicken noodle soup that Elsa had made. It made Emma wonder if the woman cooked anything but soup. She was also grateful for something to eat that wasn’t toast. Personally, she could go for a cheeseburger, but she doubted Killian would agree.

He did, however, agree to eating outside on the back porch. He also said nothing when Emma slathered a hunk of French bread with butter. The bit she had at lunch hadn’t bothered her stomach, not that she would tell Killian that.

“Why do you look so nervous?” Killian asked her after blowing on a spoonful of soup.

Emma jabbed at a chunk of chicken with her spoon rather than looking at him. “I just have to ask you something, and I’m a little nervous you’ll be pissed.”

His forehead creased. “Why would I be? Emma, seriously, you can ask me anything.”

Emma gave him a tentative smile. “That’s sweet, but it’s just . . . well, my agent kind of agreed to something for you.”

Killian rested his elbows on the table. “Okay, I guess that was inconsiderate of her, but I’m not going to blow up about it or anything. Especially not at you.”

Emma let out a breath of air. “Good, and I told Ruby that they need to ask first from here on out.”

Killian tore a piece of bread from the loaf and dipped it into his soup. “So, what is it? I may have to tell them no, depending on what it is, but . . . “

He trailed off and shrugged as if to say he would have an open mind about it.

“They want you to go with me to do a talk show in New York City in a couple of weeks. Not to be interviewed or anything,” Emma rushed to add, “just to be in the audience. The show wants you there for like, reactions or whatever while they’re interviewing me.”

Killian nodded, completely calm, and it honestly threw her more than if he’d gotten pissed. “That’s fine with me. When is it?”

“A week from this coming Wednesday?”

He shook his head at her as a smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “You don’t have to phrase it as a question. I don’t bite, love. Unless you ask me to, that is.”

He punctuated the innuendo with a wink, and she rolled her eyes as she laughed. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?”

“I try.”

“So can you do it?”

“I don’t see why not. I don’t have any plans.”

“But isn’t this your busy time of year? I mean, with all the tourists around.”

He reached out and took her hand. “Not so much that I can’t take one day to support your career.”

Emma felt her jaw drop slightly, and her gaze flicked to where his thumb was caressing her knuckles. When he saw her expression, he quickly pulled his hand away and cleared his throat.

“I mean, that’s the whole reason for this arrangement, aye?”

“Right,” Emma said with a nod, “to save my career.”

Silence fell between them as they continued eating their soup. Emma drained her bowl with a sigh, almost embarrassed at how ravenously she had eaten.

“Did that hit the spot?”

“Definitely,” she replied, patting her stomach, “I just hope I don’t regret it later.”

“I’m sure if your appetite has returned that you’ll be fine. Besides, it was soup.”

She nodded, regarding him thoughtfully as he continued to leisurely eat his own dinner. “So,” she finally worked up the courage to ask, leaning her elbows on the table, “your half of the bargain was that I would casually help your brother out with his marriage. But from what I see, they’re fine.”

Now it was Killian’s jaw dropping as he paused his eating, spoon held in midair. Emma arched one brow at him.

“Well,” he finally said, resting his spoon on the table, “they do love each other tremendously, and Elsa’s good for Liam -”

“But?”

“But, there’s been some tension lately.”

Emma searched his face intently as she rested her chin on her clasped hands. She didn’t know why in the world he would lie about his brother needing her help, but it felt like he was grasping for words. “Tension?”

“Aye, tension. Elsa’s ready to start a family, you see, and Liam -”

“Doesn’t want kids?”

“No, no, it’s not that. He does. It’s just . . . he wants to be sure they’re ready. Financially speaking.”

“That’s wise. Having children isn’t something you do lightly.”

“And Elsa understands that, but she -”

Emma lifted a hand. “If you say anything about her biological clock, I might dump the rest of that soup over your head.”

His eyes widened at that. “Okay, I sense a touchiness -”

She gave him a withering glare. “I just don’t like women being treated like they have a shelf life, that’s all.”

Killian leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed, his brow furrowed. Uh-oh. “So you’re going to deny basic biology?”

“What basic biology?”

“That there are a certain number of years -”

“Choose your words very carefully, buddy.”

His hands dropped to the table, and she noticed that his hands were now clenched in fists. “All I’m saying is that Elsa’s waited the first five years of their marriage for something she wants deeply, and my brother is being way too practical. As usual.”

“You have to be practical - it’s a lifetime commitment!”

“But no one can ever be one hundred percent prepared!”

This had quickly gotten out of hand, both their voices rising slightly, and Emma wasn’t even sure where the conversation had gone off the rails. She took a deep breath and when she spoke again, she used her professional therapist voice.

“It’s a big decision that you shouldn’t rush into.”

Killian leaned across the table, his eyes flashing. “Or it’s something that scares you to death, scares the hell out of you actually because you never had a good example of what a father should be. So even though you want it more than you ever wanted anything, that fear holds you back. So you wait, then wait some more, until one day you’ve waited too long!”

He rose from the table then, so forcefully that the chair behind him flew backwards and wobbled, almost toppling over. Then Killian turned and left, the screen porch door slamming behind him as he headed down the beach.

Emma just sat there for a moment, processing what the hell just happened, and suddenly understanding dawned. She didn’t have a phD in psychology for nothing.

This had nothing at all to do with Elsa and Liam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian came to a dead stop halfway down the beach when he realized what he was doing. He leaned over his knees, taking big gulps of air. It wasn’t from the exertion of his run - he was in better shape than that - it was the sudden fear washing over him. How could he be this stupid twice? And Emma was just getting over being sick. What if she tried to follow him, got dizzy, and . . . and . . .

He couldn’t finish the thought. Instead, after one more deep breath, he raced back the way he had come. The fear was even worse when he saw how far he’d run. The house seemed so far away . . .

Finally, he slowed down right at the back of the house. In the distance, he saw Emma by the fire pit talking to Anna. Relief flooded through him, and he suddenly felt like he’d run a 10k in less than a minute. Once again, he was leaning over, bracing his hands on his knees. Emma turned towards him, but he couldn’t tell from here if she was angry or not. Then she turned back to Anna, gesturing in his direction. Anna nodded, then turned around and went back into the house.

Killian straightened as Emma drew closer. Her arms were crossed, holding a sweater around her frame, and the ocean breeze tugged at her hair. Even when she got close, her expression was unreadable.

“I’m sorry.”

Seemed as good a place as any to start.

She tilted her head at him. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t know.”

Killian blinked, then looked back over Emma’s shoulder at his brother’s house. He sighed, “Anna told you?”

Emma nodded, then her expression changed, and her eyes widened. “Wait - did you race back here because you were worried about me?”

Killian ran a hand wearily over his face. “It was just so eerily the same. A fight, me running off -”

Emma stopped his words with a gentle hand to his arm. “Her death wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just a senseless accident.”

“You don’t understand, Emma. We fought about . . . “ he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “We were renovating our house, on the other side of Storybrooke. We added on a new master suite, giving us three bedrooms instead of two, and then Milah suddenly starts referring to one of them as a nursery.” He turned to look out at the water, his hand raking through his hair. Emma said nothing.

“I always brushed her off with a joke or something. Finally, we talked about it, and I told her I wasn’t sure we were in a good place financially. The truth was, I was scared.”

“Of what?”

He turned to look into her green eyes. “Of failing. As a father. My dad left us when we were kids, you see, and . . . well, how was I supposed to know what a good father looked like?”

Emma just nodded. “I understand that fear.” She settled down in the sand and motioned for him to join her. He did, knowing she might still be weak from being sick.

Killian shook his head and sighed before continuing. “But it meant so much to her. Her first husband never wanted kids either, was really volatile about the issue, and it got to be a touchy subject between us.”

Emma said nothing, just looked at him with an expression that made him feel it was safe to go on. No wonder she was so good at her job.

“One day, we were in the middle of working on the house, and she confronted me about it, wouldn’t let me deflect. We ended up getting into a huge fight, and I took off in anger. Just like I did tonight.” He struggled to go on, lowering his head so she couldn’t see the tears starting to form.

“You don’t need to explain the rest if you don’t want to. Anna told me.”

“If I had been there, she might not have fallen off that ladder.”

“You don’t know that.”

“She might have lived.”

“Killian,” she said in a soft voice, “Anna told me what the coroner said. She broke her neck. Even if you had been there, you wouldn’t have been able to save her.”

He shook his head, clenching his jaw. “But she might not even have been on that ladder if I hadn’t taken off. She might have been more careful. She was probably so distracted . . . “

“Killian look at me,” Emma knelt down in front of him in the sand and took his face in her hands. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I was only gone for ten minutes. No one expects their life to change that much in ten minutes.”

Emma gave him an encouraging smile. She had also started to stroke his face, and he wondered if she even realized she was doing it.

“Exactly. Ten minutes. How could you have possibly known what would happen? You left for a few minutes to calm down. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I . . . I didn’t . . . it wasn’t my fault.”

Emma nodded. Liam had told him the same thing a thousand times. So had Elsa. And David. Yet for some reason, here on the beach with Emma’s soothing voice and gentle hands, the truth of it finally washed over him like the waves crashing against the shore. Something broke inside of him, and his head fell forward onto Emma’s shoulder. She wrapped one arm around him while she stroked his hair with her other hand. He waited for tears to come, for sobs to shake his body, but instead he felt lighter somehow. He supposed he’d shed an ocean of tears for Milah over the years, and nothing but a shaky sigh was left.

“She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself,” Emma told him.

He pulled back and took Emma’s hands in his. “You’re right. She wouldn’t.” He stared down at Emma’s hands for a minute, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. The sound of the ocean surrounded them, and he slowly breathed in the salty smell of it, then exhaled.

“Better?” Emma asked.

He nodded, feeling slightly sheepish all of a sudden. He rose to his feet and offered Emma a hand, which she took. Once she was up, he turned towards the house, but she didn’t relinquish his hand.

“You know,” he told her, “I never scheduled a session.”

She laughed. “Lucky for you I had an opening.”

“How much do I owe you?” he teased, bumping her hip.

“This one’s on the house, Jones.”

Despite their fight and the intense conversation on the beach, they spent the rest of the evening the way they normally did - on the couch with Netflix. Around eleven, Emma stretched and yawned.

“You’ve got me falling into the sleeping habits of an old man,” she told him, poking his leg with her toe.

“Hey, I may have a few years on you, but I’ve retained my youthful glow.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes as she rose from the couch, wrapping an afghan around her. “What about you?”

A yawn cracked his own jaw as he rubbed at his tired eyes. “I think I’m ready to turn this couch into my bed for the night.”

Emma chewed on her lower lip as she regarded him carefully. “Why don’t we just share the bed?”

He arched a brow at her. “Seriously?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, why not? I mean, we’re both adults.”

Killian rubbed at his jaw as he thought it over. He wouldn’t lie, he was sick of the couch. And as long she was comfortable with it . . .

“Come on,” Emma said, giving him a playful kick, “don’t make a big deal out of it. You know you miss sleeping in a real bed.”

“Well, if you’re sure -”

“One hundred percent.”

“Okay then.” He tossed aside the remote, got up, and followed Emma down the hall. She had already changed into her pajamas, so she brushed her teeth while Killian changed in the bedroom. He went ahead and slipped under the sheets and flipped off the light before Emma came in. Why was his heart pounding like a fifteen year old?

He heard Emma shut off the faucet and flip off the bathroom light. “Whoah, it’s dark!” Emma cried as she stepped into the room. “Why are you hiding? Do you sleep in the nude?”

“No,” Killian protested, “well, not totally. I mean, I’m wearing boxers.” Shut up, he reprimanded himself, you sound like a nervous idiot.

Emma swore under her breath as she tripped over something on her way to the bed. Knowing her, it was a pair of shoes. He felt the bed dip as she got in and wrapped herself up in the covers. He tried to make her out in the dark, but all he could see was her hair.

“Good night,” Emma whispered.

“Good night,” he whispered back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian was awakened the next morning because something was tickling his nose. It was Emma’s hair - spread all over her pillow and his. He brushed it out of his face as he rolled over. Emma was curled up on her side, her back to him. He took the opportunity to admire her creamy shoulders on display. One strap of her tank top had slipped, and the sight had him getting hard. He was just about to slip out of bed before she noticed how - er - excited he was to see her, when she suddenly rolled over to face him.

“Hey,” she said groggily.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice strained. He tried to inch farther away from her without making it obvious.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

He blinked. “Uh, why would I be embarrassed? Like you said last night, we’re adults.”

“Exactly,” Emma replied through a yawn. She arched her back and stretched both arms over her head, which definitely didn’t help his erection. “And I’m also an adult who counsels couples and has extensive knowledge of sexual physiology and psychology.”

“Are you bragging, Swan?”

“No. I’m just trying to explain why I understand your situation. After all, it’s extremely normal for a healthy man to wake up with an erection.”

She smirked at him as he coughed. He wished he had control over the red creeping up his cheeks. He quickly recovered, however, and winked at her.

“That confident that I’m happy to see you?”

She shrugged, that damn strap still teasing him. “Guess it’s good I’m not a cuddler, or there would be no doubt.”

“Oh trust me, love,” he told her, dropping his voice an octave, “when I jab you with my sword, you’ll feel it.”

Now she was the one blinking rapidly as a blush stained her cheeks. He laughed as he flung the sheets aside.

“Now look away, darling, unless you want an eyeful. My boxers have never been able to contain my prodigious manhood.”

She didn’t respond at first, and he chuckled again. But when he reached the door of the bathroom, his pillow hit him in the back of the head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharing a bed was changing Emma’s sleeping habits. She was getting up earlier for two reasons: one, she had lied to Killian. She apparently was a cuddler. Every morning her eyes flew open before the sun was up when her body sensed something warm, solid, and hairy beneath her cheek. She always extricated herself from his embrace before he woke up. Second, Killian had convinced her to ditch her treadmill and join him on his jogs. She had to admit, she looked forward to her morning workout more with the combination of the gorgeous setting, Smee’s encouragement, and Killian’s company.

He wasn’t chatty on the morning runs, for which she was grateful. She preferred getting in the zone when she exercised. However, they were talking over breakfast and coffee each day. Now that she was up earlier, she had time for more than a bagel as she dashed out the door. She could honestly say that they were friends now, and she enjoyed his company. She had hopes that things wouldn’t be weird after all this was over, and they could still hang out. Especially since they worked in the same building.

Emma was far more aware of the sounds coming from below her than she used to be (heavy metal music aside). She now knew the difference between the sound of the table saw versus the sander, for example, though both were faint by the time they reached her ears. Her clients probably didn’t even notice.

She also knew when he was meeting with a client. The sounds in his workshop ceased and the pleasant timbre of his voice drifted up through the vents. Not enough for her to eavesdrop, but enough to bring a smile to her face. He was talented at what he did, and she wanted him to succeed.

Right now, she could hear the buzz of his table saw as she listened to her current client talk about finally setting boundaries without apologies with the man she had just started dating. Emma was encouraged by her progress, and honestly proud of the young woman. When she first started seeing Emma, she was broken and filled with social anxiety after going through a very public breakup. It had taken a year for the woman to even accept a date from a man who had already proven himself as a good friend. Now, here she was speaking up for herself without apology.

“You know, Jasmine,” Emma told her, “I think you are at a very healthy place. How about we try meeting every six weeks instead of monthly?”

“Really?” the woman asked, beaming. “I think that would work. Does that mean I don’t need the citalopram anymore?”

“No, I think you should still take it. Talk it over with your doctor, but it’s a really safe medication, and ten milligrams a day is a very small dose. Besides, remember what I always say?”

“Medication is just another of my tools to help me cope and nothing to be ashamed of.”

Emma grinned. “Exactly.”

They both rose, and Emma showed Jasmine to the door at the top of the stairs. Over the brunette's shoulder, she saw Killian welcome in a smiling redhead. The woman flipped her hair over one shoulder as she laughed, then she laid a hand on Killian’s bicep. Killian smiled back, then - Emma’s breath caught - he reached up and scratched behind his ear! Emma’s lips pressed together in a thin line. That was his tell when he was nervous - usually sexually nervous. Emma barely heard Jasmine’s goodbye as her head spun. She leaned over to try and see the pair, but Killian led the redhead further into his shop and out of sight.

Emma went back into her office and started pacing in the small waiting area. Ariel! That was the woman’s name. Killian had made an arbor for her wedding to Eric, similar to the one he had made for her. Well, this Eric might want to know that his wife was flirting with other people’s husbands.

As soon as the thought entered her brain, Emma tried to put on her therapist hat and remind her subconscious that the woman’s red hair had triggered memories of Walsh’s infidelity with Zelena.

Her subconscious was hearing none of it.

Emma stilled her movements and cocked her head as she tried to make out the low voices from the first floor. Were they laughing again? The woman sure was smiling a hell of a lot.

Maybe she always smiles a lot. Therapist Emma tried to say.

Her subconscious ignored Therapist Emma.

Emma marched over to the floor vent near the door so she could hear better. All she could make out was Killian’s accent and Ariel’s more bubbly voice, but not what they were saying. She rolled her eyes and let out a huff of breath before getting down on her hands and knees. Wait, was that more laughter? She leaned closer, turning her ear to the vent and concentrating. She thought she heard Ariel say Killian’s name. In her mind’s eye, she saw her smiling brightly at him, flicking that unfairly beautiful shade of red hair over one shoulder, and gushing, “Oh Killian, you are just so funny.”

Emma snapped back to reality and realized that it had gone quiet. Why were they quiet all of a sudden? What were they doing? Emma’s ear was practically pressed to the vent at this point, and -

“What the bloody hell are you doing?”

Emma let out a strangled yelp as she jumped up from the floor. Killian was standing there in her doorway, looking at her with confusion etched on his brow and barely contained humor teasing the corners of his lips. She blinked and suddenly wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. She had been acting like a complete fool!

“Umm . . . I was . . . looking for something. What are you doing up here?”

He arched a brow at her and struggled to keep a smile at bay. “It’s lunch time. We were going to go over to Granny’s - remember? What did you lose?”

“Lose?”

“You said you lost something,” he said, gesturing to where she’d been on all fours like a dog.

“My earring,” she lied quickly, “I thought maybe it rolled into the vent.”

“Oh,” he said, “well let me help you -”

“No that’s okay!” she told him hurriedly. “I found it, see?” She held up an empty hand with the fingertips pinched together as if she were holding something, then she pretended to fiddle with her earring. Thank God she wore studs!

Killian arched a brow at her, then sauntered close. So close, his chest almost brushed hers. She had to tilt her head to look up at him. He leaned down, his lips almost brushing her ear.

“You mean this earring, love?” he purred. He reached up and caressed the ruby stud with his calloused fingers. “The one you were already wearing when you first stood up?”

He pulled back just enough so he could look her in the eye, and the sinful smile upon his face should have made her furious.

But it didn’t. Damn him, it almost made her melt into a puddle of goo on the floor.

HIs eyes scanned her face, and for one thrilling moment she thought he would kiss her. Kiss her with absolutely no one watching. But then he pulled back and walked backwards towards the door.

“You coming, love? Grilled cheese at Granny’s?”

“Uh . . . yeah,” she muttered.

Emma wanted a way to wipe that shit eating grin off his face, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it.

“Oh and Emma,” Killian said before she could head down the stairs, “Ariel was smiling and laughing because she and Eric need me to make them a cradle. For their new baby.”

His satisfied smile as he sauntered past her down the stairs made her want to kick him in the ass as hard as she could. Mostly. But another part of her was too busy being relieved about Ariel’s order.

[kiapet2]

Aperture Sides Facility, Chapter 8: But I Think We Can Put Our Differences Behind Us. For Science. You Monster.

Masterpost

Chapter Summary: Test Chambers 2: Now Featuring More Things That Kill You!

Chapter Warnings: Death Mentions, Sex Mentions, Death Threats, Robotic Body Horror

Travelling with Janus is surprisingly chill, at least to start. He mostly seems to sleep, or whatever it is he does when his light is off, and you mostly focus on solving the puzzle Remus sets in front of you.

Said puzzle is actually pretty tame for the most part, which is pleasantly surprising considering who exactly is making the current test chambers, but also fills you with consternation about just what Remus might be cooking up in the meantime. Because there’s no way he’s just sticking to- what’s that blue spirally thing you just used to float yourself upwards? An Excursion Funnel? Yeah, you think that’s what Remus said. There’s no way he’s stopping at something as tame as Excursion Funnels, or at least ones that don’t end in spike traps or something.

Then you see the next chamber, and yup, that’s about what you expected.

“What’s the matter?” Janus says, noticing you hesitating. “The way forward is perfectly simple.”

You honestly can’t tell if Janus really does think the puzzle is easy or if he’s doing that sarcastic double-speak he seems to like. You can see the clearly intended solution of the puzzle easily enough- you need to jump into that horizontal Excursion Funnel, then redirect it using portals at the right times in order to switch the direction it carries you and get yourself over to the cube dispenser. What makes it not-so-simple, however, is the fact that these careful maneuvers would have to take place while hanging in midair over a freaking bottomless pit.

“I’m just not crazy about the potential for falling to my death,” you say. “Unless I’d be able to land on my Long Fall Boots, I guess?”

“He probably filled the pit with spikes,” Janus says.

“Great,” you mutter, nervously fiddling with the portal gun.

A large, black rectangle on the wall resolves into an image of Remus, and belatedly you realize it’s some sort of display screen.

“Hey dorks!” he says, peering down at you. “What’s the hold up?”

“Just… figuring it out?” you say, unsure how to respond to your current captor actually holding a conversation with you.

“Well get going! I need my orgasm, it’s time to Get. It. On!

He does a little shimmy during the last bit, his long, flexible body wiggling back and forth, before the screen once again goes black.

“His-” you choke, and Janus sighs.

“That body- my body- has a built-in euphoric response to testing. It can be… difficult to acclimate to, particularly if you’re not used to it. I was perfectly fine, of course, but Remus has all the self-control of a lemming on LSD. We may be in a bit of trouble here.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “Why would Remus feeling good be dangerous to me? Don’t we want him to have a reason to keep us around?”

“You’re right, a human such as yourself is absolutely capable of fulfilling any and all demands necessary to accommodate an artificial intelligence who is literally addicted to the process of testing. You definitely don’t need to eat, or sleep, or take the occasional rest.”

“And once he gets bored with me…” you say, following the line of reasoning.

“He gets rid of you,” Janus confirms, “and likely me along with you. So let’s not do that, shall we?”

“We’ll call ‘not boring the out of control AI who wants to kill us’ Plan A,” you agree.

And that means actually doing the tests, instead of standing at the edge feeling scared. Staring down at the Excursion Funnel spiraling horizontally below you, you take a deep breath, then jump.

A few heart-stopping minutes later, you’ve successfully made your way over to the cube dispenser. Using portals you shift the Excursion Funnel so that it’s pointed upwards under the dispenser, then press the button. The dispenser drops a cube down into the abyss, and you wait patiently as the cube gently floats up to your level, buoyed by the spiraling Excursion Funnel.

Then the cube actually reaches your eye level, and you bite back a curse, stumbling backwards and falling on your butt.

Cackling sounds over the speakers as Remus once again appears on the tall screen. “Like my newest inventions, Tommy-boy? I made ’em just for you!”

“Why?” you groan, staring as the cube continues to rise, the two turrets that have somehow been fused into one of the cube’s sides chittering fearfully.

Remus laughs even harder. “It’s an improvement! I call it the Frankenturret: a true work of art.”

You shift the funnel away just long enough to let the- the Frankenturret, ugh, fall back down a ways before switching it back in order to lift the cube back up to your level. You gingerly reach out with the Portal Gun and grab the cube, before turning and practically running over to set it on the correct button.

You’re just congratulating yourself on another test solved when the turrets fused into the cube pop out legs and proceed to drag the cube forward and off the button, and okay what the fuck.

You shudder, then reach out and grab the Frankenturret again, watching it pull its legs back in as you do. You place it back on the button, this time upside down. You wait a moment, poised to grab it again, but the turret-cube seems to be staying in place.

You groan, practically falling back to sit on the floor. “That was a nightmare.”

“Oh, we’re just getting started,” Remus says gleefully, popping back onto the screen. “Chop, chop, Tommy-pastrami, on to the next one!”

Your body feels like one massive bruise, and for a moment you’re tempted to sit a while longer or even lie down, Remus or no Remus.

Then you remember Janus’ warning: And once he gets bored… he gets rid of you.

Bracing yourself, you force yourself to stand, legs shaking, and make your way into the elevator.

When you enter the next test chamber, you find yourself stopping and staring. Instead of the enclosed test chambers you’re used to, this chamber appears to be missing the better part of one wall, giving you a view out into the massive cavern this chamber is apparently hanging in. As you watch, another large test chamber glides slowly towards you on a massive version of the Cores’ movement rails, grinding loudly against the cavern wall as it does so. You realize after a moment that the other room is on a collision course with yours, and you are just reaching for the wall to try and steady yourself when the other room connects with yours with a crash that sends you stumbling to keep your balance. The sides of the walls crunch and bend with the force, making a horrible grating noise of metal on metal.

Finally, the noise and vibrations subside, leaving you in a room that’s twice as big as it previously was, and also considerably more beaten up.

“Remus!” Janus yells, his yellow light flickering back to life. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Making a test chamber,” Remus says innocently. “I think it looks better now, don’t you?”

“The modular test chambers aren’t designed to be handled like that! You just broke equipment we have no way to replace!”

“Oh come on, Jan,” Remus says. “Who cares about some crummy old equipment when there’s testing to do? These chambers don’t just make themselves, you know!”

“This isn’t good,” Janus murmurs to you as you move forward to investigate the deep pit that the two halves of the chamber have formed. “He’s becoming more and more distracted from the well-being of this facility. There are functions that need to be maintained to keep the facility from undergoing complete destruction, and the longer he keeps this up the more likely he is to forget them entirely.”

It must be serious, if Janus isn’t even being sarcastic about the situation anymore. Mindful to not take too much time and risk boring Remus, you quickly redirect the chamber’s Excursion Funnel using a couple of portals, then use it to carry yourself across the newly created floor gap.

“How much time do we have?” you mutter as you press the dispenser button and get (oh joy) another Frankenturret.

“It depends on how far gone he is,” Janus says. “Days, if we’re lucky.”

You let out a breath. “Then it’s even more important to find a way to get out of here.”

Janus gasps melodramatically. “Of course, escaping! Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, rolling your eyes. “Just see what you can do, okay?”

The conversation comes to a lull as you finish up the level, using the Excursion Funnels to direct the cube back across the chasm, and in one heart-stopping moment, using a special panel to launch yourself into a Funnel’s path halfway across. You end the puzzle by floating the cube up and then sideways, pushing it into a button on the wall.

“Ah,” Remus moans as the cube presses the button inwards. “That’s… huh. That was kind of disappointing, actually.”

“Oh dear, it’s happening sooner than I expected,” Janus says as your blood turns to ice. After a moment he adds, “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

You don’t call him on the lie.

“I’ve got some old friends for you to see!” Remus says gleefully as you enter the next test chamber. The first “old friend” becomes clear as you see white Conversion Gel dripping from a pipe in the ceiling, into a chasm. Because there’s no clear surface the gel is falling onto, there’s no way to use your old strategy of shooting a portal onto the puddle of gel and letting the new drips fall through one portal and get shot out of the other. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be any way of catching or redirecting the falling gel, not until you notice the familiar moving spiral of an Excursion Funnel.

You’re just using the Funnel to move the gel to where you want it when you hear a voice that you’re pretty sure at this point is going to echo in your nightmares:

There you are.

Instinctively, you drop and roll, putting a wall between yourself and the several turrets that begin shooting at you. You’re just preparing to sneak a look at them, and hopefully figure out how to take them down, when you hear the familiar “AaAaaAa” and frantic shooting that accompanies turrets being knocked over. How in the world-

“Of course when I finally find you, you’re getting shot at.”

You probably jump about a foot into the air, adrenaline already on high from the dangerous situation. You turn and smile at the source of the surprise.

“Virgil! You’re here!”

He gives a two-fingered salute. “Sup, Thomas.”

You look him over, looking for dents or missing pieces and finding none. “Are you okay? What’s been going on out there?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil says, rolling his eye. “Being a worrywart is my job, stop stealing my thing.”

“Sorry,” you say, grinning, “I’m just really happy to see a friendly face.”

“Sorry it took me so long to find you,” Virgil says.

You shake your hand. “No, I get it. Remus has been moving things around a lot, it must be really weird from the outside.”

“Remus,” Virgil hisses. “What has that bastard been doing to you?”

“Mostly just testing, at this point,” you say. “But Janus thinks we might be in more danger soon.”

“Janus?” Virgil shrills, looking around wildly. “Where is he?”

“Right here,” you say, nodding down at where he’s speared onto your Portal Gun, currently inert.

“The- the potato,” Virgil says dubiously.

“It’s a long story.”

Virgil closes his eye and shakes his center plates back and forth so hard you hear rattling. “Never mind, it’s not important. What the hell are you doing, carrying Janus of all people around with you?”

“He said he’d help,” you say defensively.

“And you believed him?”

You think now probably wouldn’t be the best time to bring up the deal you and Janus made. “He’s in trouble as much as I am, Virge. And he can’t really do much as a potato- if he even thinks too hard he’ll blow a circuit.”

Virgil looks at the potato with a narrowed eye. “You still can’t trust him.”

“I trust him to look out for himself. For right now, that works for both of us.”

“I’ll be careful, Virge,” you add when he continues to glare.

Virgil sighs and finally breaks your gaze. “All right. What do you need right now?”

Your heart gives a little squeeze of pride at the question; Virgil has grown so much from the snide, antisocial Core you first met.

“I’m okay for right now. Go find the others- I’m going to find a way to escape, and when I do we’ll need to be ready to face whatever comes next.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, “but you’d better not die. If you do I’ll get Remus to invest in figuring out how to reanimate the dead, just so I can kill you again. He’d do it, too.”

You chuckle at that. “All right. Same to you, Virgil. Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil mutters, but you know him well enough to hear the smile in his voice. “See you later, Thomas.”

For a moment you get a strong feeling of deja vu. You had a similar conversation with Virgil right before Janus tried to kill you, you realize. Hopefully, that’s not a bad sign.

You shove the thought back down and do your best to smile at your friend.

“See you later, Virge.”

The rest of the test chamber goes by without much issue, as do the next few after that. Remus combines turrets, gels (which he gleefully compares to various... other types of fluids), deadly lasers and Excavation Funnels over bottomless pits with the frenetic glee of a kid at a Christmas party, while you just buckle down and do your best to survive.

It’s when you’ve just started the fourth of these chambers that Janus’ light flickers back to life.

“I think I have a plan,” he says quietly. “I’ll do it when Remus reappears. I’ll just have to be careful- hopefully the amount of power I’m using here is low enough that this won’t get me, too.”

That’s concerning, but Janus’ light goes dark before you can ask any follow-up questions, and you’re too preoccupied with getting through this chamber to dedicate too much brain power to it.

The test involves getting onto a long platform, then redirecting a laser to power it so that it moves to where you need to go. You use the portals to make the laser hit the right sensor and are feeling the pride of a task well done when a grid of deadly lasers suddenly flashes to life, right in the path of your now-moving platform.

You scream, images of hitting the laser field and coming out in pieces entering your head, and frantically shoot a portal to a different location, disconnecting the laser powering your platform and making it stop just as the lasers reach the center of your platform. The laser grid itself disappears when the platform stops, and running on the adrenaline of your near miss you move past the point where the lasers were, then restart the movement and hop off at the appropriate spot.

As soon as your boots hit solid ground you fall to your knees, breathing hard, and focus on getting your heart to stop beating out of your chest. That was a close one- a second later and you would have been filleted. If you had any doubt Remus is trying to kill you, that laser grid got rid of them handedly.

You’re just finishing up the test, still feeling a bit shaky, when Remus reappears on the display screen. “Hey, you did it! And all in one piece, too. Disappointing, but there’s always next chamber.”

Janus’ light flickers back on. “Alright, here goes,” he mutters to you, then yells, “This! Sentence! Is! False! don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutit-”

“Oh-ho-ho!” Remus says, his body shuddering and wiggling before coming to a rest again. “That was great! Like sticking a fork in an outlet and licking it! Give me another one!”

Janus sputters. “That was a logical paradox! It was supposed to temporarily short your circuits!”

“Aw, Jan,” Remus says, “you of all people should know I’m not a creature of logic. Hey, what about this one: A barber shaves only and all people who don’t shave themselves. Does-”

“Nope, nope, not listening!” Janus shouts, his light turning back off.

Remus cackles. “Ah, that was fun. Anyways, make sure to complete this test quickly, now. I’ve got a little surprise for you in a few chambers- one I’m sure you’ll be just dying to see.”

The screen goes blank, and you look down to see the potato’s light flicker back on.

“Was he… trying to be subtle?” you say.

Janus snorts. “Remus doesn’t do subtle. We’ve got to get out of here before he makes good on it.”

On that, at least, you’re both in agreement.

“Three more chambers until your big surprise,” Remus sing-songs as you enter the next chamber. The chamber has a large ditch in the middle, with a cube bouncing up and down inside it. A launcher panel is positioned in the middle of your current platform, clearly intended for use in reaching the other side.

“We’re running out of time,” Janus says lowly as you approach the launcher panel, trying to eyeball the timing you’ll need to catch the cube. “I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along."

You step onto the launcher panel, then cry out as, instead of launching you forwards like expected it sends you careening sideways, the test chamber’s wall folding open to let you through. An excursion funnel catches you mid-flight and begins moving you forwards.

“Surprise!” Remus says. “It’s happening now.”

You look down to see yourself hanging over empty air, the ground too far away to see. Wherever it is you’re going, you don’t seem to have much choice in the matter. So just like always, then.

“I’ve got to hand it to him,” Janus says. “For someone who usually says every little thing that enters his head, that was quite a clever deception.”

“Aw, you flatter me, snakey-pie.”

The excursion funnel pushes you into another launcher, which sends you hurtling sideways with a yelp from both you and Janus. Hurtling towards a small platform, surrounded by giant metal plates. All of which are covered in spikes and poised to slam forwards.

Yeah, this is gonna suck.

[kayteewritessteve]

DT - Twitter Drunk 2/3

Description: One stupid drunken night leads to an uncomfortable week from hell. That only gets worse when you are forced to face the problems, that your drunken escapades caused, head on. Yeah, you are never going to drink ever again.

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 9,250 ish.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG.

Warnings: Lots of curse words, awkward moments, and a slightly frustrated reader. Little angst here and there, but lots of stupid humour.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

Steve’s POV

Steve finds himself seated at the breakfast bar in the towers main living area. Sam and Bucky on either side of him, as they all silently munch away on their individual bowls of cereal.

The tower is relatively quiet this morning, which is both relieving and scary, all at the same time. The tower feels very much like a small child to Steve, when it is eerily quiet, that’s when he truly had to worry. That’s when he should probably go investigate and prepare himself for the incoming chaos that he may find.

Though the fact he can physically see Bucky and Sam currently, does give him some peace of mind. Those two, together, were mayhem and destruction personified. Anytime they were out in the world together, something usually ended up broken. Be it a window, a plate, a car, or Steve’s mental stability.

However, the lack of a Stark currently, in the silence of the tower, was a little unnerving, if he’s being honest. Though at least when Tony was alone, he stuck mainly to only blowing up parts of his lab, or other people’s personal lives. So he didn’t really need as much supervision as the other two did.

But when the three of them were together, now that was another story entirely. They honestly reminded Steve of a show he used to watch as a kid, The Three Stooges. Though they all sort of switched roles, just depending on the day really. However most days Tony was Moe, while Bucky and Sam were Curly and Larry, respectively. But the odd days they’d switch roles, ya know, just to keep things interesting.

Steve sighs quietly to himself at the thought, as he makes a mental note to see if he can track down some of The Three Stooges videos to watch again. He always did enjoy that show—well, that is before he had to basically live it in real life. So yeah, maybe he won’t look those videos up now.

The sound of hasty shuffling feet catches his attention and he looks up just as Moe—excuse me, Tony, enters the kitchen, looking slightly frazzled and far too overly excited for this early on a Saturday morning. Steve internally groans because he knows Stark is about to drop some sort of bomb on them all.

Something clearly happened that Stark finds incredibly funny or worthy of the whole tower knowing right this very second. He is honestly surprised Stark doesn’t just use Friday to play a pre-recorded message throughout the tower so that everyone can learn of the news at the same exact time. That would be far more efficient, if you ask Steve, but does he plan to mention this idea to Stark? Not a hope in hell. That man doesn’t need anymore ideas to help him gossip more quickly and effectively.

No, Steve will just let him continue to work for it. It keeps him busy and less likely to mess with anyone around him, so that’s a small win, in and of itself. Plus he’s pretty sure that Tony truly enjoys actually seeing the looks on peoples faces when he shares his random news with them, so that would probably explain why he does this all in person.

Tony catches sight of the three men and the wicked grin on his face only grows, and this time Steve externally groans.

“There you guys are!” The older man says quickly as he makes his way towards them, “have any of you happened to check out Twitter yet, this lovely morning?”

Steve furrows his brows, yes, he has a Twitter account, but does he actually use it? Hell no. He can barely even figure out what Twitter is for, honestly, let alone how to maneuver the hell site. And anytime he does get on his account, the tweets—what a ridiculous thing to call them—are usually pretty descriptive and very, very highly inappropriate to say to a complete stranger. When Steve had mentioned the aggressive tweets to Sam and Bucky, they had both burst out laughing and when they’d finally managed to reign themselves back in, Sam had told him those were called ‘Thirst Tweets’—Whatever the hell that means.

That was when Steve came to the unwavering realization that Twitter just was not for him. Though Bucky seemed to pick the site up rather quickly, and now he was tweeting with the best of em.

Steve shakes his head at just how stupid those words truly sound. He’ll never fully acclimate to this time, nor the strange and invasive customs, ideologies, and ethics that comes along with it. Don’t get him wrong, this century does have a lot of really amazing features, such as better healthcare, easy access to information, more equality and a larger variety of much, much better tasting foods.

But some days he did miss the simple things from the 40’s. Meeting people in person, going to the movies unbothered, the anonymity that came with a lack of widespread media, and just going out for a drink and some dancing with a good pal or your girl—not that he did a lot of dancing back then, nor did he actually have a girl, but still, life was simpler then, less wasteful and a heck of a lot less superficial.

“No,” Sam answers, and Bucky just shakes his head before following it up with a, “why?”

“Oh, well, then the three of you are truly missing out,” Tony grins widely, his eyes locking with Steves and instantly the latter knows this cannot be good. “Someone wrote a very sweet and long winded Tweet about our little Capsicle here.” He chuckles, gesturing to Steve, and the super soldier is now positive the older man is actually vibrating with excitement currently.

“No way,” Bucky’s eyes grow wide as he quickly pats himself down then pulls his phone from his front pants pocket.

“What does it say?” Sam hastily asks, as he tries to reach across the counter for Tony’s phone. But doesn’t even get close as the billionaire quickly yanks his hand, the one holding said electronic, away from Wilsons reach.

“Simmer for just a moment, my dear Sammy. Don’t you worry your pretty little head, I’m planning to read it out loud for all of you,” he happily says, putting his phone up in front of his face as he clears his throat loudly. Then he begins to read the tweets, raising his voice probably in an attempt to sound more like a woman.

“‘Do you ever just hear of someone in passing, or see them in the media, and have this instantaneous deep longing emotion within you. Not a longing in the sense of wanting them, but entirely due to hoping with everything inside you that they find their true happiness one day..’‘..‪That they wake up in a few years and smile, like truly smile, because they are exactly where they wanted to be. Where they deserved to be. That they’d ended up with every desire they had yearned for. And I’m not talking about material objects. I’m talking life goals and accomplishments..’‬‪‘..I’m talking about the true important aspects of life. The things that actually matter in the grand scheme of it all. Well, that is how I feel whenever someone brings up Steve Rogers. Or whenever I see an article or a news story about him. I instantly have this desperate want for him..’”‬

Sam cuts in, a goofy grin on his lips, “girl, I feel that. I also have a desperate want for Steve whenever I see him.” He turns to playfully wiggle his eyebrows at Steve, while Bucky and Tony burst out laughing. ‬

‪All of this only causing the blonde to shake his head and drag a large hand down his face in exasperation. Knowing instantly that these 3 were never going to let this go, he just silently prayed that no one else in the tower had seen these tweets yet. Don’t get him wrong, they were sweet as hell, and made a slight blush creep its way onto the super soldiers cheeks, but he wasn’t really a huge fan of the spotlight. Never had been, never will be, and this very much put a blinding light smack dab on his face. ‬

‪Tony quickly attempts to steel himself once again, but he can’t stop the chuckles from bubbling out as he continues to read. Every few words a snort or giggle escapes the confines of his lips. “‘..to be happy. *snort* Truly and utterly happy. The man deserves exactly that, and yet so much more. *small giggle* What with everything he has done for us and this planet. *snort* If anyone in this world has earned their happily ever after, *small giggle* it’s that man.’” ‬

‪Steve just groans and lays his forehead against the cold surface of the counter, as the three men continue to laugh boisterously around him. This couldn’t get anymore awkward and embarrassing, and Steve wasn’t even the one who wrote the tweets. ‬

‪“What are we laughing about?” ‬

‪Whelp, obviously Steve spoke too soon, clearly it could get worse. And much, much worse at that. He slowly lifts his head and then promptly drops it back down to the solid surface with a thump. ‬

‪“Oh Nat!” Tony excitedly calls out, “you’re just in time! We were just discussing the most recent fan tweet for ol’ Rogers here.” ‬

‪“Ah yes,” she snorts, “I also truly hope Steve gets every desire he yearns for.” ‬

‪He doesn’t even have to raise his eyes to know she has a playfully quirked brow at the moment. He can just feel it on her, staring smugly at him. ‬

‪“You saw it already?” Bucky chuckles. ‬

‪“Are you kidding? Who hasn’t?” She cackles, her voice sounding much closer now, “I even already retweeted the entire thing.” ‬

‪“Me too!” Tony quickly chimes in, “I had far too much fun responding to that third part.” ‬

‪“Shit, I need to retweet this now too!” Sam adds, and Steve can hear him shuffling around next to him, most likely attempting to find his phone. ‬

‪“Oh, same,” his traitorous best pal says from beside him and Steve’s head snaps up to narrow his eyes at his buddy in outrage. But Bucky just smirks right back, shrugging his shoulders and then focuses on the phone in his hand. ‬

‪Everyone falls silent as they tinker on their phones, Steve getting up to wash his dishes so he can make a hasty exit from the kitchen. But before he can even turn the water on, a low whistle rings through the room, “damn Punk, you gotta see this dame. She’d give Vivien Leigh a run for her money back in our day.”‬

‪That only slightly peeks Steves curiosity, but only slightly—who is he kidding, that’s a complete lie. The truth is, now he really wants to know what she looks like, but he refuses to let any of these dickheads know that. He’s always had a wee bit of a crush on Vivien Leigh, ever since he’d seen Gone With The Wind. But he ignores Bucky’s obvious use of Vivien to entice him, and instead just nods nonchalantly as he continues to wash his dishes, “I’m sure she would.” ‬

‪“Tin Man’s right,” Sam starts, “this woman is insanely attractive. Steve, man, you gotta check her out,” and just as his friend finishes his words, the unmistakable sound of a stool being pushed back echoes through the room. ‬

‪Steve just hums as he quickly dries his bowl and spoon, before putting them away, “maybe later, Sam. I ah,” he scrunches up his face, which luckily no one can see as he is still facing the cupboards. “I have something I need to attend to at the moment.” Yeah, that didn’t sound convincing or truthful at all. But he doesn’t give anyone a chance to retort as he makes a beeline out of the kitchen. ‬

‪Though he doesn’t miss Bucky playfully yelling, “yeah, I’m sure you do.” And the hidden meaning of those words makes Steve shake his head, and flush just a little as he hastily makes his way down the hallway. Clearly his lifelong best friend knows him far too well, and is more than aware that Steve is sneaking off to both avoid this conversation and privately creep this sweet tweeting woman. ‬

‪Which again those words sound utterly and completely ridiculous to Steve. ‬

‪It had been a couple of days since Tony had come barreling into the kitchen, and since then Steve’s Twitter app had been taking a damn beating. ‬

‪Not in the sense that he’d started posting more, but in the sense that he’d been going on it more. He’d actually asked Bruce that Saturday afternoon if he could walk Steve through how to maneuver the hell site a little better. Figuring Bruce would be the least likely to judge or mock Steve for the request. Nor would Bruce tell the others that Steve had asked, as if they all learned of this, they’d know exactly what he was up to, and why he wanted to know how to use the app. ‬

‪When he’d arrived back to his room after promptly fleeing the kitchen and his overzealous friends, he’d opened the app and tracked down the famous tweets. Which honestly wasn’t hard at all, as damn near everyone Sam had set up for Steve to follow had retweeted the posts by this point. So they were basically his entire main page. ‬

‪He’d clicked around for a bit, until he managed to finally end up on her—Y/N’s page. And then opened her picture only to abruptly drop his phone. Though luckily for the tiny electronic, it never actually met the ground, all thanks to his ridiculously fast reflexes. ‬

‪He’d then just stood there, awkwardly wide eyed and staring at her picture. Because shit, Bucky wasn’t lyin’. She did give Vivien a run for her money. She was stunning, and upon scrolling through her page and reading her other posts, he learned she wasn’t just beautiful on the outside. ‬

‪He’d then noticed a few retweets from some girl named Lindsey, figuring that must be a friend of hers, he opened her page. Instantly noticing a string of retweets of Y/N’s original lengthy post, and jokingly commenting about ‘how much did you drink last night, girl?!’ Though in a lot more words than just that, he was paraphrasing her friends actual response here. ‬

‪And that’s how Steve figured out that obviously when Y/N drank, she wrote sweet and thoughtful messages to and about complete strangers, people she idolized or looked up to, or just plain admired—which yeah, that wasn’t really normal. But in all the best ways. Most people who tweeted him were vulgar and far too descriptive. He honestly didn’t get many heartwarming messages from the public, so these words really stuck with him. They brought a smile to his face. ‬

‪And on top of all of that, she’d been drinking. And most of the drunk people he’d ever encountered were all either loud, rude, belligerent or far too flirty. Booze giving people the liquid courage to say the things they’d never voice sober. Liquor basically heightened a person's internal personalities, which wasn’t always a good thing for some. So the fact that she was so damn sweet when intoxicated, only stood to reason that her sober was probably a true sweetheart, through and through. ‬

‪Which all only made Steve yearn to actually meet the woman behind these thoughtful words. Though he knew that would never actually happen, because reaching out to her now would be weird, wouldn’t it? ‬

‪I mean, would she even want to hear from him? Would she even be interested in possibly meeting him? Would she even respond to a message from him? From the looks of it, she hadn’t posted anything since that night, so maybe she was avoiding her social media at the moment. Maybe she just wanted this all to blow over, and maybe Steve should want that too. Maybe he should just let this all rest, and continue on with his life as normal. ‬

‪It’s not like they’d meet and fall madly in love instantly, or end up becoming something more than that. It’s not like him just letting this whole situation blow over would really affect him all that much, right? Maybe she only felt that way about him because she’d been drinking. What if sober, she had completely differing opinions of him. ‬

‪Yeah, that’s very unlikely, he knows that. But truthfully, Steve was ridiculously nervous at even the thought of interacting with her. I mean, he never really had ��game with the ladies’, as Sam had put it. And he’d never even really entertained the idea of meeting someone, or dating someone, since he’d woken up from the ice. He’d just focused himself and his mind on his job, and didn’t even allow any hopes of love or a relationship to infiltrate his head. Because he knew once he really, truly thought about it or gave it any weight in his mind, that he’d come to the unwaveringly obvious realization that he was alone. That he was lonely and wanted more than anything to have someone special in his life. Someone who saw him for him, for Steve Rogers the man, and not Captain America the legend. ‬

‪But now all of this had crashed those very thoughts that he’d avoided for so long into his head, like a dang freight train slamming into a car stuck on the tracks. And now all he could think about was how desperately he wanted a person, a gal to call his own. Someone to go to bed beside every night, and wake up wrapped around every morning. A woman to share his free time with, to tell about his days, his stresses, his accomplishments and goals. And have her do the same in return. ‬

‪But even with that all bouncing around in his head, he was scared. Truly and entirely terrified. Because with opening yourself up to another, giving love a shot and taking the leap to see where it goes, came the potential of heartbreak. Came the possibility of ending up hurt and even more alone, if it all fell apart in the end. ‬

‪And yeah, you can’t have true happiness without taking a chance on it. You can’t succeed without first trying. But Steve had struggled his entire life, he’d fought to get where he is today, he’d sacrificed so much of himself and his life to get where he is now. To be at the place he is now, and even though being alone was a sore spot for him, his heart wasn’t tattered. It was fully intact again, and he really just wanted it to stay that way. ‬

‪He’d finally reached a place where he was actually content with his life, where he was proud of who he was and how far he’d come. And he refused to mess with the happy balance he’d found now. ‬

‪Was that a foolish choice for him to make? Oh definitely. But was he going to just continue to be stubborn and pretend like he was truly happy in this moment? Hell fucking yes.‬

‪Steve was ridiculously stubborn, and he fully knew it, and owned it, 100%. ‬

‪Steve walks into the kitchen to grab a midday sneak before heading back to hide in his room. And the second his eyes land on the current occupants of the space he almost groans loudly. ‬

‪Tony, Nat, Sam and Bucky are all lingering around the kitchen island, talking about what Steve can only assume is his personal life. Or rather, the lack thereof. ‬

‪There are only two days left until the press release and Steve has been basically avoiding his friends for the last 2 days. Ever since Tony cornered him in the gym trying to give him the full run down on Y/N. Where she worked, where she’d gone to school, where she’d been born and raised, everything.

‪All things Steve honestly had no business learning from the billionaire. Who had actually proudly admitted to doing a full background check on the woman, as if that was normal to do at a complete stranger. Steve had instantly scolded the man, citing that it was only ridiculously intrusive and unacceptable to creep into someone's personal life like that. Especially someone who none of the team actually knew. ‬

‪She wasn’t some criminal set on world destruction, nor was she a person of interest to the team in regards to a mission. She was a civilian, a regular person, and she didn’t deserve having her entire life picked apart and invaded like that. She deserved her privacy. ‬

‪Tony had then tried to talk Steve into contacting her, even just a small message to her Twitter account to thank her, or something of the like. But Steve wasn’t interested, he was still happily stubborn and pretending to be ignorant to the longing feelings within him when it came to Y/N. Because honestly, he didn’t know her through a dang hole in the ground, let alone should he be feeling this way about a woman he’s never even met, let alone spoken to. This was outrageous, these strange feelings were ludicrous. ‬

‪So no, he doesn’t feel anything towards her. And yeah, he knows wholeheartedly that that’s a blatant lie, but shoot him for trying to think rationally here. For trying to be logical to the fact that one shouldn’t feel this strongly for a damn stranger. So, by day he’ll just continue to fake that he isn’t interested. That he hasn’t checked out her account or photos, that he hadn’t been day dreaming about meeting her. He’ll just continue to pretend like he wants no part of this in front of the whole team. ‬

‪But then by night he’ll check out her twitter, like every night since she’d posted, and wonder what she’s like in person. Wonder if she’s easy to talk to, if her laugh is infectious, if her smile is like the sun, if her mere presence alone is truly calming. ‬

‪She still hadn’t posted a damn thing since the famous tweets, so clearly she was avoiding her social media. She hadn’t even retweeted a single response, nor deleted the original posts. It was like her account was completely frozen in time—pun not intended. ‬

‪Tony had just stood there, continuing to pester Steve about Y/N, up until Steve had opted to completely ignore the man entirely. After he’d stopped responding, Tony had finally dropped the topic and left, but not before vowing to get Steve on board with this ‘operation get Rogers a date’ mission, as the billionaire had hilariously nicknamed it—Note the sarcasm. ‬

‪And once Tony had left the gym, and the door slamming shut had confirmed he was truly gone, Steve had glanced over his shoulder to fully affirm he’d left. And instantly noticed the manila folder sitting on a bench where Tony had been standing. And it didn’t take a rocket doctor to figure out what was in that folder. No, Steve was instantly aware it was most likely a full and complete write up on Y/N. ‬

‪He chose to ignore the folder, or at least he’d put in a solid effort to ignore it. But after a little while—read, literally 2 minutes—Steve finally caved and hesitantly walked towards the folder, wiping his sweaty hands on the towel he’d kept over his shoulder. And once he reached the folder, he glanced around as if to double check there was no one watching or present to witness his next move. ‬

‪Then he gingerly scooped up the folder, staring at the outside for a moment before taking a deep breath in and opening it up. To only be instantly met with a stunning photo of Y/N, that adruptly confirms his earlier thought, her smile is like the sun. ‬

‪And as he delves into every fact and detail about her, all the things Tony had managed to dig up about the woman, the irony is not lost on him. He’d literally just chastised Tony for invading her privacy, and yet, here he was, doing the exact same thing. Lapping up every little detail he could about her. ‬

‪At least Tony had invaded her privacy for semi honourable reasons, he’d only done it to help a friend out. Where as Steve was doing it entirely for selfish reasons. His desperate need to know everything about her, yet being entirely too petrified to actually reach out to the woman, to just speak to her. To give himself the chance to learn all of these things about her, from her, as was the way it should have been. ‬

‪The only thought running through his mind at that point was: What an utter schmuck he’d truly turned out to be. ‬

‪Back in the present, he halts his steps and honestly contemplates if he should slowly back out of the kitchen, before anyone even notices him. But he never gets that chance as 4 sets of eyes snap up to land on him, and he knows escaping now unscathed is highly unlikely. ‬

‪So with a deep breath in, he enters the lions den, entirely prepared for the razzing and ridicule he was about to endure from his, so called, best friends. As they continued to chide him for having not made a move yet, as they continued to inform him that they were displeased with his lack of action in all of this. ‬

‪And as they kept reminding him of what happened the last time he’d waited too long with a gal, and yeah, those comments cut deep. But only because he knew they were entirely accurate, and that’s why they truly cut as deep as they did. He was well aware of his shortcomings in the romance department, but did that stop him from stubbornly pretending like his friends were entirely wrong? Of fucking course not. ‬

‪Because Steve Rogers was thee most stubborn man on the planet, and he was entirely proud of that simple fact. ‬

‪He’s standing on stage, Tony droning on and on about God knows what. Steve had tuned out a while ago, his mind still all over the place. Still focused on entirely different things than the current topic of the day. He should be focused on the facility's grand opening, and Tony’s eloquently chosen words, but yet again, for the millionth time this week, his thoughts are on Y/N. The woman he feels like he knows damn near entirely at this point, yet has never once laid eyes on. Not even so much as seen a glimpse of in real life. ‬

‪And how truly creepy does he sound right now? This was some next level stalker behaviour, as Sam would call it, and he freaking knows it. God, did he know it. ‬

‪Bucky’s elbow making direct contact with Steve’s left side ribs, jars him painfully from his reverie. He manages to only wince slightly at the forceful hit before snapping his eyes at his best pal—who may lose that title soon if he isn’t careful—and glaring at him. ‬

‪Bucky just grins and leans in towards Steve, as he whispers, “don’t look now, Punk, but it appears a little Tweety Bird is in attendance with us today.” Then the brunette nods his head in a direction towards the back of the audience. And yes, Steve is well aware of who he is referring to, as Tweety Bird is the name his ‘friends’ had been using to refer to Y/N as all week. And don’t even get him started on how much that nickname truly irked—‬

‪Hold up. Wait a tick. What did Buck just say? ‬

‪Steve's eyes quickly scan the crowd before landing on her near the back. And God, he couldn’t have missed her beautiful face even if he’d tried. He honestly isn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed her before. His super soldier eyes clearly need to be checked as they so obviously missed the stunning woman hidden in the masses. ‬

‪He finds himself completely and totally trapped in her stare. His eyes locked onto hers as if they were high powered magnets, and not even his super strength could pull them apart now. He is just about to break out into a huge grin, just at the fact he actually got to finally see her in the flesh, but then his mind catches up to the moment. ‬

‪And wait, wait, why is she even here to begin with? ‬

He snaps his eyes to his possible ex-best pal, and narrows them accusingly. If Bucky is behind this, he can kiss his best friend title goodbye. And Steve will happily inform him that Sam has taken up that position now, just to be as petty and childish as he possibly can.

But all he receives in return is a wicked grin from Bucky, as he nods his head towards Tony. And just like that, Steve flicks his intense gaze at the billionaire in question. Wishing in this moment that looks could kill, that he had that super power. Because if they could, if he did, Tony would be laying on the floor right now. But luckily for the smaller man, he doesn’t have that ability, though Tony will wish for a quick death once Steve gets his hands on him.

Once this is all over, and everyone leaves so there are no witnesses, Tony will get what’s coming to him. Mark his words, Tony Stark will learn a valuable lesson tonight—

Movement catches his attention and he flicks his eyes back to see Y/N hastily packing up her things. Wait, she isn’t leaving yet, is she? The press release isn’t even halfway done yet. She can’t just leave, not before he has a chance to actually speak to her. To actually, finally, interact with her. She is here after all, he’d be an idiot if he didn’t use this to his advantage now.

Maybe Tony will be safe after all. He did sort of give Steve this opportunity after all. Maybe Tony’s meddling wasn’t entirely bad this time. Though he would still need a stern talking to about interfering with other people's lives.

Her eyes lock back on Steves and he can see the tears pooling in them now. His perfect eyesight honing in on them, and his heart feels like it’s about to break. She’s tearing up? Why is she tearing up? He sees a tear slip down her cheek as she quickly wipes it away just as she turns and hastily heads for the exit.

And watching her retreating form snaps something in Steve—well that and another well positioned elbow jab from Bucky. As if trying to break Steve out of his head, while also urging him to do something.

Steve shakes his head and then quickly makes his way to the edge of the platform, jumping off it and landing gracefully on his feet before taking off at full speed after her.

Members of the press moving out of his way, and snapping photos as he runs passed. But he isn’t focused on any of that currently, he just needs to reach her, to stop her from leaving just yet. He just wants to meet her, to talk to her in person.

He vaguely hears Tony trying to wrangle in the press, trying to regain their attention as he makes up some excuse for Steve's abrupt exit. He’s guessing Tony saw her leave just like Steve and Bucky had.

He stops when he reaches the first road, and glances around, quickly pinpointing her form hastily walking towards the main road. Her head down as she goes and he begins to jog after her and once he gets close enough he calls out, “Hey, hold up.”

He watches as her steps falter and then stop entirely, her shoulders deflating slightly as her arms rise up a little. Though he can’t make out exactly what her hands are doing currently, but a gut wrenching thought tells him she is probably wiping away more tears. However then she slowly turns to face him, keeping her eyes down as if the ground is the most fascinating thing she’s ever encountered.

And all he wants is for her to glance up, to look at him, to allow him to finally truly take her in. He desperately wants that, he is about to beg her for it honestly. But he is so tongue tied in this moment, he can’t even think of a single word to say. Nor is he sure his voice will even work at the moment.

After a moment though, it appears she’s managed to locate her voice. But she still keeps her eyes down, even as she speaks, and her voice is nothing like he’d imagined it would be. It’s way prettier sounding then his mind could have ever conjured up.

“I um, I’m really, really sorry,” she starts and then clears her throat, “I shouldn’t have come here today. I ah, I didn’t want to ever make you feel uncomfortable in any way. And I guess I just need to apologize to you for my ridiculous antics last week. And ah, and for stupidly agreeing to come to this junket. I’ll just um,” she glances over your shoulder momentarily, as if looking for an escape. “I’ll just be going now,” she quickly says as her eyes finally meet his. And he is instantly aware that she has been crying, confirming his earlier worries. She gestures with her thumb over her shoulder as she takes a small step back. “Sorry again, for um, for everything.”

Their direct eye contact momentarily stuns him, so much so that he had yet to fully comprehend her words. He is just happily lost in this moment, hoping it doesn’t actually ever end.

But then it does, and he is instantly thrusted back into the here and now when she turns and quickly continues down the road. Hastily moving away from him yet again. And fuck that if he is going to let her get away now. Not yet at least.

He quickly catches up to her, softly saying, “wait,” as he gently grasps her elbow in the hopes she’ll turn back around.

She takes a deep breath and then turns to face him again, just as he’d hoped and he quickly, be it reluctantly, removes his hand from her skin. Their eyes connecting once again. And shit, what does he do or say now?

Before he can even realize what he’s doing, his hand rises up to rub the back of his neck as he rips through a bunch of different thoughts as to just how he should proceed here. What he should say to her now.

“I ah, I wasn’t—“ he pauses realizing his mistake then quickly corrects himself, “I’m not uncomfortable about you being here,” he shakes his head, “not at all. I just—firstly, I just wanted to apologize to you, actually. I know they probably forced you to be here today, I don’t really know how, but judging by your reaction to all of this, I’m guessing you really had no say in being here.“ He sighs deeply, “I had no idea that they’d actually invited you, so I can only assume that Tony played a huge hand in all of this. He really likes to insert himself in other people's lives, so I apologize that you got dragged into this. He doesn’t really know when to butt out.”

She nod slowly as her eyes flick down to the ground again, “it’s okay. You really don’t owe me anything, I honestly brought this all on myself. I um, I don’t blame anyone else for any of this, but thank you for saying all of that.” She looks back up at him, “it really helps to hear. This week has just been—“ she halts her words and sighs deeply as she waves a hand around. “Sorry, that’s really not important. Um, just basically thank you, ya know, for easing my mind with all of this.”

He can’t help the frown that forms on his lips, she honestly believes that anything she has to say isn’t important? God how wrong she is, he’d enjoy nothing more than to hear her talk for hours. Even about absolutely nothing. And God, he really shouldn’t be this damn smitten with her already. He shouldn’t be feeling this damn connected to her already. He’s doomed, but yet, he honestly has no issues with that fact. He quickly wipes the frown from his lips and shakes his head, “don’t mention it, but I should really be the one thanking you.”

Her eyes instantly widen, and it takes everything in Steve not to chuckle at the shocked look now on her face. Her eyebrows slowly crinkle in the most adorable way, as her mouth hangs open just slightly. It’s honestly the cutest damn thing he’s ever seen. And he’s seen a lot in his time.

And then she seems to pull herself back together, “I’m sorry if this is rude, but um, why exactly would you owe me a thank you?”

He can’t help the stupid smile that forms as he tries to hide it by glancing over his shoulder to ensure that no one had followed them. Mainly anyone from his team, if he’s being honest. The press following him is nowhere near as much of a possibility as his fellow Avengers, and also nowhere near as embarrassing.

Seeing that luckily no one has, he comes up with a quick plan to ensure that they aren’t bothered or overheard. “I’ll explain all that, but first, can I show you something?”

She nods quickly, “um, yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“Okay, great. Just uh, just follow me then,” he quickly says before he starts to lead them both towards the spot he’d decided would be the best choice for privacy. And to ensure no one overhears either of them.

Reader’s POV.

You fall into step with the giant man, curious where exactly he is leading you to. He hasn’t said anything since you both began walking and you honestly have no idea what to even say to him. The silence isn’t too bad, though that’s honestly a lie, the silence is actually extremely awkward.

You have no idea what he still has to say to you, nor where your currently heading towards, nor what he feels about all of this. I mean, yeah, he said he wanted to thank you, but for what exactly? You have no fucking clue. And shit yeah, that’s a little unsettling, if you’re being honest.

Your hands start to clam up again, as you keep your eyes down, watching your steps to ensure you don’t eat it. Because that would just be so magical if you did biff it right now. Ya know, in front of Steve Rogers and all.

He’d probably think you were just a ridiculous klutz, or an accident prone nincompoop. But really, you just aren’t the best on heels, and as you both have now left the glorious cement behind and are trekking it through the compound’s vast green space, falling is a very real possibility. You hoofing it through the dang wilderness now, as if you’re some seasoned hiker on a nice, scenic Sunday adventure, instead of a small, sightly out of shape, journalist in high ass heels.

You stealthily side eye your adventure buddy and wonder if he’d give you a piggyback ride. I mean, that’s a ridiculous thought, but like, would he though? Ya know, if you asked really nicely and remembered to use your manners? He is rumoured to have insane strength, so he could probably easily chuck you over his shoulder, as if you weighed nothing at all.

Oh God, why do you now want nothing more in this life, than to be slung over Steve Rogers shoulder like he’s some damn caveman. Shit, yeah, that’d be hot for sure.

You shake your head and stifle the laugh that wants to bubble out of you, as you focus back on the ground ahead of you. What a ridiculous person you truly are. Who even thinks something like that about a complete stranger, let alone Steve Rogers—Though, come to think of it, probably a lot of people think things like that about him.

Once again you feel a large warm hand on your elbow and you halt your steps to glance up at him, curious what’s happening. Oh shit, what if he can like, read minds or something, and just no one actually knows about that enhancement of his? Fuck, please God say he can’t.

Though let’s just test that theory, ya know, just to be sure. Hello? Steve? You there? If you are, fyi, my favourite number is 9. And I think you have a fantastic ass—shit, just ignore that last part—

“We’re here,” he says quietly, and his hesitant expression leads you to believe that he can’t, in fact, hear your thoughts. And thank fuck for that.

You nod—no clue why you do, you just do. And then quickly glance around at your surroundings, only to then have your mouth fall open at the beautiful sight before you.

You hadn’t even noticed where you’d ended up until this exact moment. You are standing on the edge of a large body of water, and with a quick glance over your shoulder you realize you are surrounded by trees. The facilities buildings no longer even in sight, and it fells like you are in the middle of nowhere, like there isn’t a single soul around.

Your eyes slowly slip back up to meet the large blondes piercing blue ones, a smile on your lips. “This please is beautiful,” you whisper before your eyes drift back to the water ahead of you. “It’s so peaceful here.”

“Yeah,” he sighs deeply, “it is. It’s ah, it’s one of my favourite spots on the compound to escape to. Ya know, when I just need a moment alone, or some time to think.”

You side eye him again, seeing him just staring out at the water now, and then your eyes drift back to the water as well. “I can totally understand why, it’s so quiet,” you whisper, as if speaking too loud will ruin the tranquility of the location. “Thank you,” you glance back at him, his eyes on you now. “For showing this place to me, for sharing your secret spot with me. I honestly needed a peaceful moment like this,” you sigh, “it’s just been such a long and gruelling week. So, seriously, thank you.”

He nods, “I’m sorry to hear your week hasn’t been very good. Is there anything I can help with?”

“No,” you shake your head, but then halt the action as a thought crosses your mind. “Unless you happen to have access to a time machine?” You ask playfully.

He chuckles, “I do actually, but why do you need a time machine?”

“Just so I can fix a few mistakes from my past,” you nonchalantly answer, but then his words fully sink in and your eyes widen once again. “Wait, actually?”

“Yeah, actually,” he grins as he brings his index finger up to his lips in a ‘shh’ motion. “But that’s just between us, no one actually knows that we have one.”

“Damn,” you mutter as you glance back out at the water. “And here I thought self driving cars were insanely futuristic. But a time machine blows that out of the dang water.” You quickly shake your head, looking back up at him, “sorry, yes, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell a soul.”

He just smiles down at you, “perfect.”

A few moments of silence go by as you both just enjoy the comfortable moment, just standing quietly at the waters edge. As if time has come to a complete stand still, and no one else exists in the world. But then your mind reminds you of the real reason he brought you here, and your curiosity won’t allow you to stay silent any longer. “Um, I believe you wanted to tell me something,” you turn to face him, giving him your full attention.

“Right, right,” one of his large hands comes up to rub the back of his neck again. “I ah, I just wanted to thank you. Ya know, for all the kind things you said about me. Honestly, it was really refreshing to have someone say all of that to me. I’m not really used to people caring that much about me—“ he shakes his head, “no, that’s not the right wording, I mean more, the sentiments behind your words. Lots of people idolize Captain America, they wish him the best, but not a lot of people actually acknowledge me, Steve Rogers, as a person. So it meant so much to me that you were talking about me, the guy from Brooklyn, and not the hero persona I live in the shadow of every day.”

Before you can think better of it, you reach out to gently lay your hand on his forearm. And yeah, you have to force yourself to ignore the instant tingles and warmth that floods your system, just from merely touching him. This is not the time to perv out.

“I’m so sorry, Steve. You truly deserve so much better than that, and I apologize on behalf of my generation for making you feel less important than the Captain. Because honestly, that couldn’t be further from the truth. There would be no Captain America without there first being a Steve Rogers.” You remove your hand from his arm, “and furthermore, Steve can and will live on without the Captain, but the Captain cannot live on without Steve. It’s impossible, he does not exist without you.”

He just stares at you, silently, as his face holds an unreadable expression.

Feeling like you might have overstepped or said too much, you quickly shake your head, “I’m sorry, ignore me, I’m totally rambling again.”

“No,” he shakes his head now, as if snapping out of it, “please don’t apologize, I was honestly just a little caught off guard by all that you’d said—in all the best ways, I promise.” He smiles, “I can’t even begin to explain how truly amazing it is to actually hear someone say that. After all these years. It’s just,” he sighs contently, “it’s just really nice to hear, is all.”

You smile up at him, glad your rambling meant so much to him. He deserves to hear these things, and you believe every word you’ve said wholeheartedly. You wouldn’t have said them if you hadn’t. You may be a lot of things, but a liar or a fraud weren’t one of them. If you deeply believed something as true, you always voiced those thoughts. “I’m so glad to hear that,” you say quietly as you turn to face the water one last time. “I guess we should probably get back. Ya know, before someone comes looking for you,” you glance up at him and smirk. Knowing full well that no one is missing you currently, but you can only assume Steves absence hasn’t gone unnoticed by his team members, nor the press.

And honestly, you don’t need anymore gas thrown on the raging fire that is your life currently. The press would have a damn field day if they caught wind that you two were hiding out in some secret place, alone—Oh God, just imagine the headlines for that.

He sighs, nodding, “you’re probably right.”

Then with a final glance at your surrounds you both head back, you pull out your phone along the way to finish ordering your Uber. Because you refuse to walk back into the conference, side by side with Steve. It’s probably just best if you leave now, before anyone clues in that you both were together this whole time.

You reach the road again, and luckily managed to not fall or break a heel. Which is honestly a feat in and of itself. You’d have to put ‘skilled heel hiker’ on your resume once you got home. Because honestly, that was something any future employer of yours should really know, and appreciate.

You stop walking and Steve notices instantly, turning to look back at you, his brows furrowed in the cutest way. You have to stop yourself from reaching up to smooth out the lines, because it’s weird to touch strangers, right? Yeah, yeah, it’s weird.

“I’m going to head out, I’m sure I’ve missed the entire last part of the conference by now, and I kind of want to beat the rush of exiting press,” you say, which is all true, you just might have also strategically left out the main reason as to why you’ve chosen to leave early.

He nods, “ah, yeah, that’s a good point.”

You smile up at the beautiful man one last time, you’re not entirely sure if you’ll ever see him again, so you take a moment to memorize his features. Ya know, so you can happily and accurately daydream about him later. But then the sound of an approaching car hits your ears and you glance to see your Uber pulling up and—shit. Of course he would have the fastest response time of any Uber driver in history. Because yeah, clearly you aren’t supposed to spend anymore time with this amazing human. That’s just your damn luck.

You turn back to him, and saying goodbye now honestly sucks, but you both have lives to get back to. “Thank you again for showing me your spot, Steve. And for just taking the time to talk to me, it made my whole week so much better,” you smile as the car pulls up beside you both. The driver quickly confirming you are who he is picking up.

“No worries at all,” he smiles back, “it made mine as well.”

Your smiles grows at his words and you reluctantly force yourself into the car, waving as it pulls away.

And as it makes its way down the road, you slump back into your seat, releasing a deep breath. This afternoon will forever live on in your head; the day you met Steve Rogers in the flesh. It will, from this moment on, be your all time favourite memory, hands down.

Steve’s POV

Steve stealthily makes his way back to the compound, rejoining the touring group as his teammates show the press around the main areas of the facility. He falls into step next to Buck, who is lingering near the back to ensure no press members sneak off or get lost.

“So,” Bucky pipes up quietly after a few moments of them just silently walking side by side. Not even turning to look at Steve, and instead keeping his eyes fixed ahead of them both. “How was it? Did you manage to catch her?”

Steve smiles widely, he couldn’t prevent it even if he’d tried. “Amazing, Buck. I did catch her, and she’s just,” he pauses, no words really holding enough meaning to describe Y/N. “she’s amazing, in so many ways,” he finally finishes, even though the word he’s picked really doesn’t do her justice.

Bucky grins widely, “so, when do you see her next?”

And Steves steps falter just slightly at his pals words.

Bucky stops walking altogether, gaping at Steve. “Punk,” he says slowly, “please tell me you got her number?”

“Shit,” Steve cringes as he stops walking as well, he knew he was forgetting something. He then sighs loudly as he drops his head forward. “I totally forgot.”

Bucky groans loudly, “Punk, we talked about this! Rule numero uno, always get the cute girls number!”

Reader’s POV.

You’re sitting at your dining room table, laptop in front of you as you slowly work on the Avengers article for your boss. You had luckily gotten a bunch of photos and recorded most of the conference, so you have more than enough to work with. Which, thank fuck for that. You really need to keep your job, at least for now, at least until you can secure something better.

Your phone starts to ring and you glance over at where it currently sits on the table beside your laptop. You pick it up and see it’s an unknown number—which yeah, that’s a little odd.

You hesitantly answer, unsure who it could be, “hello.” But then there is no response, you pull the phone away from your ear to see if the call is still active, and it is. You put it back to your ear, “hello?”

“Uh, yeah, hi, sorry. Is this—is this Y/N?”

“It is, may I ask who’s calling?”

“It’s um, it’s Steve,” he says and instantly you almost gasp because how did he— “Steve Rogers,” he quickly clarifies, as if you wouldn’t have figured that out already.

You giggle, because this man is just far too adorable for words. “Hi Steve, how are you?”

“I’m good, I hope you don’t mind that I’m calling you. I was going to message you on Twitter but I honestly couldn’t figure out how to do that. And I’m not really any good at texting, so a phone call just seemed like the best option.”

You smile widely, barely containing your laughter at how flustered he sounds. “I don’t mind at all, it’s so nice to hear from you. Though I am a little curious how you even got my number.”

“I ah, I sort of had Tony look it up for me.”

And that does cause you to laugh, “I should have guessed. So, what can I do for you, Steve? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. I just,” he takes a deep breath, and now you swear you can hear voices in the background, you just can’t make out what any of them are saying. A scratchy sound rings through the phone, as if the mic is being covered by something and then you hear a louder muffled voice now, but still can’t make it out. However then the scratchy sound stops and Steve speaks up again, “I ah, I was just curious if you’d be interested in maybe going out to dinner with me sometime this week? I mean, ya know, if you’d be interested in that,” he pauses for a second then quickly adds, “Did I already say that?”

You hold back the excited giggles that want to break from your lips, he is clearly flustered by this and the very last thing you’d ever want to do is make this worse for him. Or to hurt his feelings by laughing at him putting himself on the line like this. Asking someone out is nerve wracking enough in this day and age, let alone when they laugh in your face—or over the phone—directly after you ask.

“I’d love that, Steve. Which day did you have in mind?”

“Friday?”

“Friday is perfect,” you grin widely, then you quickly exchange details and give him your address as he insists on picking you up. You both then say your goodbyes and hang up. And the second you put your phone back on the table, you squeal loudly.

You have a date with Steve Rogers in 5 short days, and you honestly couldn’t be more excited for it. And this all came to pass because you’d been on Twitter Drunk. Who would have ever seen this insane turn of events coming. You certainly wouldn’t have.

And shit, what is Lindsey going to say about all of this? Oh God, when she finds out she's going to just die. You pick up your phone and dial the familiar number, knowing that she’ll be pissed if you don’t tell her right away, or if she hears it from anywhere else other than you.

“Hey Y/N,” her chipper voice plays through your phones speaker.

“Linds, you’ll never guess who I have a date with on Friday. But you have to promise you won’t tell a soul, or so help me God, I will disown you!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tfandtws @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @steeeeverogers @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @alagalaska @starstucknature @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @interstellarmess @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @wordlesscaptain @captain-hammer-of-asgard @viarogers @pixieferry @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @badassbeckettswan @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @capsicledoll @givemehopenfandoms @pretendingandpreposterous @frozen-phoenix17 @emotionallysalty @saturngirlz @atomicsludgedonutbiscuit @ivannagotthebeat @bohemian-barbie @marvelous-capsicle @ivoryhazlewood @steverogersxreader @cjhorseback @jasminecalia @secondstar2disney @jessiedaeum @betsynodak @capricornprince118 @just-ladyme @pinkleopardss @drayshadow @sister-of-stars @wiserebelpartypie

[roborights]

RULES:  List five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same. (Tropes Wiki)  REPOST! DO NOT REBLOG.

Tagged by: shhhhhhh Tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

RIDICULOUSLY HUMAN ROBOT - Robots in television — particularly comedic television — are usually human-like in ways that very few sane programmers would deem useful. It can be something as simple as being philosophical (wanting to understand human emotion, wondering if they have a soul, etc.), but can extend to such things as robot social cliques, robot food, robot entertainment, robot religion, and even robot sex. It doesn't matter if it makes no sense in the context of a mechanical servant, or even if it's truly undesirable, the designers have put it in there for some twisted reason. This will often take the form of having a robot that looks exactly like a human. The degree to which this is actually "ridiculous" varies depending on the setting. In some cases they get a free pass — it may be that an intelligence, artificial or not, needs to be vaguely human-like in its basic outlines, with emotions, interests, motivations, et cetera simply to be functional for certain tasks, such as those requiring a great deal of long-term autonomy. On the other hand, perhaps humans prefer Sexbots not to behave like automated teller machines. It may be, if human intelligence itself is merely an evolved set of functions held together in an evolved psychological architecture, that any society with sufficiently ubiquitous and flexible automation will necessarily have the means to produce something human-like, or it may simply be that emotions, desires, and curiosity are unavoidable side-effects of full sentience. Whatever serves the needs of the well-reasoned plot or setting. In these cases, Ridiculously Human Robots make sense. Also, a few illogical design choices are a small price to pay for keeping robotic characters out of the Uncanny Valley. However, it's rare that a series explicitly spells this out, and often, these human-like AIs are put right up next to similar, yet emotionless equivalents that function perfectly.

PEOPLE PUPPETS - Not Mind Control - body control! Some guys just feel the need to be in control... of everything. Including you. No, not with possession, not through manipulation; we mean literally controlling your body, forcing you to move as he wishes, and turning you into his personal People Puppets. Such a character, usually a villain, can control his victims' limbs as if they were marionettes on a set of strings. Sometimes he'll actually have a puppet-theme, and many a Demonic Dummy has powers like this to play on the irony of a person being puppet-ed by the puppets; but other times a character just happens to have this ability along with related Psychic Powers. In either case, those controlled will often move in Marionette Motion. Either way, he can manipulate others' bodies while they're still in 'em, much to his victims' dismay... as said victims are usually conscious, confused, and complaining (sometimes loudly, to inform allies — and the audience — that "I ...can't... control my... body!") Or maybe they Can Only Move the Eyes. Most times, they haven't been Brainwashed or anything, as they're protesting mightily — it's just that there's not much they can do about it. For some reason, many character's mouths seem to be immune to this, as they will often protest whatever it is that they're being made to do. This may be related to Voices Are Mental.

NEW POWERS AS THE PLOT DEMANDS - Some superhero comics authors seem to get bored of the same old powers. They add new ones to the same characters whenever they feel that a new power would open up a new story, or a new danger needs a new response, or what the hell, whenever they feel like it. Sometimes a retcon, a power upgrade or some bit of Phlebotinum is employed to explain the new power, but often the character just does something they've never done before and when their friends say, "I didn't know you could do that!", they come back with either "I've never needed to, till now," or worse, "Neither did I!" Generally speaking, this trope is far more forgivable earlier in the story — with a character who has only recently been empowered and is fully justified in not knowing what he can do. Likewise, "neither did I until now" in an experienced character can be reasonable, if it's happening in some circumstance or special condition that the character has never encountered before.However, this is sometimes employed as a form of Deus ex Machina — having written themselves into a corner with a villain or situation that's too overwhelming for our heroes to handle with the tools they've been given, the writer decides to have the hero instantaneously learn the one ability he needs to save the day or bring a character Back from the Dead. Frequently, without any form of Foreshadowing to suggest that he or she can do that. It gets worse if they conveniently forget this ability when it would come in handy in a later situation. This is often the case with a Mary Sue/Marty Stu.

HOPE BRINGER - We have two sides of a conflict - The Empire is opposed by La Résistance or just common folks they oppress, The Legions of Hell fight with Church Militants, the Galactic Conqueror is in a war with The Federation, the Multiversal Conqueror fights against the Guardian of the Multiverse, the Scary Dogmatic Aliens are opposed by The Men in Black and Space Marines. And one side has a giant advantage; they win on every front and it's only a matter of time before they utterly annihilate their enemies. This is the Darkest Hour for the weaker side, but fear not, because Hope Springs Eternal. Then in come these nobodies. Hope Bringers are living proof that one person can make a difference and even the odds. By their actions, they restore hope in the hearts of their allies and lead them into the fight and victory. They can be the Big Good, the Magnificent Bastards, The Chessmasters, The Ace, the Rebel Leader or the People Of Mass Destruction - whatever makes them so special, it works. They can make the two sides not only fight on equal ground again, but even reverse the situation and make the side they help repay the other one for everything they did. The Hope Bringers’ motives may vary. They can help the good guys because they believe in justice, love their fatherland, want revenge, tend to their flock, spread the Good News or just Because Destiny Says So. Often the Hope Bringer is the Chosen One. Note that this isn't always a good thing, since Hope Is Scary and sometimes leads to a Hope Spot. And occasionally the hope bringer is a Dark Messiah who’s willing to do anything to bring hope- regulations, brainwashing, manufactured reality, whatever.

HEROIC SACRIFICE - A character saves another/others from harm and is killed, crippled, or maimed as a result. A bad character who was once good can redeem themselves in the last act by Taking the Bullet that was meant for The Hero, thus expunging all their previous evil, avoiding forcing The Hero to arrest or confront him, and avoiding any real life penalties like disgrace and jail. This is like Redemption Equals Death. In this case, the death and redemption come in a single act. There are essentially three kinds of Heroic Sacrifice:

The one at the beginning of the story, which sets the tone for the rest of the tale.

The one in the middle of the story, wherein the Heroic Sacrifice leads to new heights of badassery, or new depths of depression, in the characters who are affected by it (depending on the story.) Sometimes both.

The one at the end of the story which serves as a Grand Finale, an example of "This character is Too Cool to Live", or the kernel of a Downer Ending or Bittersweet Ending. The "Too Cool to Live" Heroic Sacrifice is the most common type in American movies. Often, The Hero Dies in a heroic sacrifice at the end.

A Heroic Sacrifice usually requires that a character be Not Afraid to Die, even declaring It Has Been an Honor. If the Heroic Sacrifice was pre-planned, it's a Self-Sacrifice Scheme. Often preceded with a Sneaky Departure from the team, or a More Hero Than Thou dispute. A Friend in Need often requires it, and doing it proves your love for them. Contrast Villain's Dying Grace, when a dying villain decides to save a life. The Doomed Moral Victor fights a battle where the outcome is clear from the beginning. If the character has time to say some last words before dying, they often do so in an Obi-Wan Moment. Often a Dying Moment of Awesome. There's also the case where Someone Has to Die, which takes this Up to Eleven.

[argentdandelion]

The True Power of NEO (Part 3 of 4)

To see previous entries in the series, check out “The True Power of NEO” tag on the ArgentDandelion blog. Made with help from CinnamonAzzy and Ihasafandom.

Tactic 1 (Explode the Exit) and Tactic 2 (Offense Over Defense) Responses

Using his NEO form as a block of explosives to seal the exit was a good idea, and exploding the exit while the human was in the room was, while riskier, still pretty good. Even using his box mode as a living wall to delay the Human’s progress was better than switching to his Mettaton NEO form to fight the human.

If his NEO form is anything like his EX form, Mettaton should logically be able to attack with it. As mentioned, Mettaton EX has strong attacks, numerous bullets, and a variable bullet pattern with a unique SOUL Mode mechanic. Assuming Mettaton NEO is even more effective at attacking and has some way to dodge or endure strong attacks (e.g., by flipping into his supposedly invulnerable original mode), attacking the human is a pretty reasonable option.

Indeed, he would, theoretically, have more time to prepare to fight the human in the Genocide Route than in other Routes, since he doesn't engage the human in TV segments. However, during that time, Alphys would be busy evacuating others, and so couldn't work on his body. (This assumes she both works quickly and the body was nearly done anyway)

Yet, this tactic depends on him being able to attack. He doesn’t attack, bringing up the question of whether he even can.

Can He Emit Bullets?

If the combat systems for his EX/NEO form were the last feature to be added, without Alphys' fine-tuning, he might enter combat with no attack capability. Mettaton, out of faith for Alphys' work or sheer haste, may have assumed Alphys installed some combat capabilities in his NEO form before he changed into it. It is also possible Mettaton finished the body himself while Alphys was doing something else, which might explain the missing eye and silly leg-shaped pauldrons (possibly made from spare parts). In this case, his lack of combat capabilities comes from his lack of skill in building robots.

It’s possible that, as soon as ghosts merge with their bodies, they can’t attack, or that there’s some learning curve or dormancy period before re-accessing offensive magic. Mad Dummy/Glad Dummy might support this: though many monsters keep fighting once spareable, as soon as Mad Dummy fuses with their body, they stop attacking. Mad Mew Mew, on the other hand, hadn’t actually fused with her body at the time of the battle. Assuming this hypothesis is true, Mettaton unexpectedly fused with his body and didn’t have enough time to re-learn how to make magical attacks.

The “dormancy period” supposition is a little weakened, though, by the observation Mettaton fuses with his body in his Mettaton EX battle and has no problem with bullet patterns. (Although many of his attack patterns are unusual objects or not projectiles.)

Death Explosions

One might argue that Mettaton is hoping the human will trigger his death explosion, and he would survive it if he hadn’t fused, or the explosion would kill both himself and the human if he had fused. However, this idea of a lethal explosion is weakened by one of his lines in the near-Genocide Route:“Yes, Asgore will fall easily to you”. This suggests he thinks the human will survive the explosion. Perhaps he, knowing the sheer power of even a whiffed strike, extrapolates that the human’s defenses are also very high.

Oddly, Mettaton’s explosion does not do any damage, in either the Genocide Route or Neutral Route. Mettaton wouldn’t have reason to deliberately explode his body in the Neutral Route. It’s possible his body exploding is a side effect of him reaching 0 HP, and Alphys hastily upgraded that to be useful in combat. However, given Alphys was evacuating Hotland, even with her super-fast working (assuming she doesn’t simply swap Frisk’s phone with a new one and re-adds two phone numbers), she probably didn’t have time to run simulations on whether Mettaton’s explosion would block the exit.

“You Wouldn’t Kill a Human, Would You?” Response

Turning into Mettaton NEO may have been a tactic to break the human’s will for killing, thus protecting humanity. (and perhaps monsters) If a human absorbing a monster’s SOUL gains great power, the genocidal Human would have a lot more power to kill humanity with Asgore’s SOUL. If Mettaton believes he can’t kill the Human, for whatever reason, then removing their will to harm humanity and kill anyone but Asgore is the next best thing.

Undyne believes the genocidal Human intends to destroy all of humanity, and Mettaton himself believes the Human is a threat to humanity. The genocidal Human would surely be a threat to humanity when they’re willing to kill a human. By that logic, changing into a more humanoid form wouldn’t give Mettaton “psychological armor” at all.

Perhaps he planned on doing the “you were holding back” speech after the human beat him up or “killed” him, thereby breaking the Human’s will to exterminate by showing they weren’t “entirely evil”. From an out-of-universe perspective, this makes sense. Papyrus often stops players from progressing on the Genocide Route, not because he’s no threat, or doesn’t attack, but because of the sheer guilt of killing him. Even in his dying words, he shows faith that the human can do better.

So Why Does He Act Like a Threat?

One might ask, “Surely Mettaton realized he can’t fight back? Why, then, does he act so tough?”

Mettaton seems to have good acting skills (in certain contexts, at least) and there’s evidence he’s good at improvising, acting like nothing is wrong, and hiding his discomfort.

Mettaton seems good at improvisation: when the Human doesn’t behave as expected in the Hotland TV segments, he seems to improvise lines. Mettaton apparently thinks ahead for the possibility the Human completes the tile puzzle, and says: "I only deactivated the flames knowing that Alphys would have anyway." If the Human fails the cooking show puzzle, Mettaton acts as if that time is when his show has a commercial break, and he's not going to destroy the human without a live television audience. Outside the Genocide Route, he knows Alphys plans to come to Frisk’s “rescue” and “deactivate” him, but he blocks the door. He also re-arranges the CORE, hires mercenaries to kill Frisk in the CORE, and offers a lot of money for Frisk’s SOUL to entice Muffet to kill them. He figures Alphys will tell Frisk to flip Mettaton’s switch, but that’s what he wants: to premiere his new body. However, when the human doesn't even step on a green tile, he's clearly stalling for time saying "well well well".

On hiding his pain, up until his arms fall off, his pained expressions are very subtle: it's impossible to notice he's in pain at all without lining up his expressions. (above) When his arms fall off, he looks shocked or pained, but then regains composure. If hit after that point, his pained grimaces are pretty subtle. He still attacks without arms, though he stops dancing. When he loses his legs, he’s shocked for the whole turn, but then closes his eyes (as if hiding a grimace) and still smiles. He also still attacks...faster, even.

However, his skill in hiding his pain isn’t perfect. Mettaton’s text shakes when the final blow is dealt in the Neutral fight, suggesting a quaver in his voice. (possibly of pain) He's clearly saddened when the final blow is dealt, although that's probably emotional, rather than physical, pain. Near the end of his death speech, he says: "I might seem like I'm dying now, but...Dr. Alphys can always repair me." He says the second part with a sad grin, making it not very persuasive, but the very fact he’s considering that and trying to act like everything is fine when he’s dying says something about his impression-management.

If one assumes he’s good at hiding his discomfort and acting as if nothing is wrong, he could plausibly act like everything’s fine even when his plan has gone off the rails. After all, it’s likely he fused with his body prior to or during the fight with the Human, and he surely felt this. It’s possible he’s hoping he can intimidate the human into fleeing or use some variant of Tactic 3 (“You Wouldn’t Kill a Human, Would You?”) to guilt-trip the human into losing the will to kill human beings and any monsters but Asgore. Even if that fails, he might still be going for Tactic 1 (exploding the exit and, ideally, taking the human with him) but he knows he’ll die in the process.

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[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

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for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind. 

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again. 

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom. 

  “where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood. 

  “you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one. 

  “i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment. 

  “you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules. 

  “i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

  “fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you. 

  “alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off. 

  “sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement. 

  “what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you. 

  “not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

  “her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message. 

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket. 

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  “any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

  “oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been. 

  “i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

  “stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath. 

  “whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined. 

  “alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

  “get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg. 

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

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  “cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked. 

  “it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

  “oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation. 

  “as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.” 

  “dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food. 

  “so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 

  “george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked. 

  “t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious. 

  “we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

  “sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal. 

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be. 

  “wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

  “well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered. 

  “does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled. 

  “you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

  “she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.” 

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break. 

  “she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll. 

  “and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam. 

  “wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another. 

  “this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking. 

  “f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested. 

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day. 

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i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[callsigndreadfrost]

Ok, ok, few misc questions. What's it feel like for a werewolf who gets shot/stabbed/etc by silver? You said the parasitic Dae CAN fuse but don't need to to give bonuses, does fusing like, increase the bonus given? Is it kinda like a trade off in that sense? Is there any kind of visual tell to know someones fused with a parasite? On Legion again, do they always get sent out in groups? Solo? Depends? What's each of your ocs particular set ups? Is any of ALL I've asked, stuff yaint thought of yet?

About as horrible as it would for anyone actually getting shot and/or stabbed but 10 times worse. As a side note there IS healing magic that can be used to supress pain--yeah, that don't work for them when it comes to wounds created by pure silver.

Even if the individual has an insane pain tolerance like Angelus does it'll still knock him on his ass.

If it's not silver they can for the most part power through it like nothing happened.

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Linking for Parasites and Hosts is high risk, high reward. Everything gets a huge boost but like I said it's risky as Linking for too long decays the human body. Two souls/psyches can't be held within one body as it overwhelms it.

You can tell someone is linked by the pupils. They get very uncomfortably huge.

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Depending on the operation is how many go but it is strictly forbidden to go alone and people have been reprimanded for doing so.

Like not only would you have Jelani pissed the fuck off at you while bitching you out, you'd get slapped with a suspended ID (think of it as an unpaid suspension) depending on how dangerous and how important the operation and information was/is.

If it's a covert op (intel gathering) the minimum are 3 in the field and 1 at comms, there's 2 more standing by at a safehouse.

Wet works (assassinations) and the mark is human and doesn't know what's about to hit 'em a team of 3 are in the field, 1 in comms and 2 standing by. BUT if the target does know and is prepared, even more so if they are non-human, then a team of 6 are in the field, 1 in comms and 3 on standby.

Black bag operations (secret operations nobody can know they were even there) there's 4 in the field, 1 on comms and 4 on standby.

Then there's the classified sites. That's a whole other mess and a half. For those a whole ass team of 6 to 8 in the field is needed. Usually 2 in comms, there really aren't any standby agents nearby because these sites are a ridiculous high level clearance and the only two people in the world that can grant clearance are Jelani and Aleksey.

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Each person knows the simple ins and outs of most weapons around, there's obligatory training every so often for refresher or to learn of new weapons. However they all have weapons that they most feel comfortable with.

Trevor is an expert marksman and is the lead agent of Ghost Team (snipers/marksman). He's also a trained pilot and can fly basically anything.

Angelus is a master arcanist specializing in offensive magic. If it's of a magical nature and it kills he's the go to for it. He heavily favors SMGs specifically the FN P90 which is his absolute favorite and shotguns. He's part of the Trickster Team which is all the archanists.

Ginger is also a master arcanist and is the leader of Trickster Team. She mostly specializes in defensive magic. Just like her bff she's got a thing for shotguns.

Abigail is the Yūrei Team leader. She's right at home with silenced and scoped single shot rifles. What's her specialty? Flanking. You won't see her unless she wants you to. She also applies some magic as well like invisibility and manipulation. She also has this tonal spell she uses to eff up the enemy that's a teeny bit similar to something Jelani does but it's far less gruesome. She can vocalize a beautiful tune that takes over her victim's mind and she can command them to do her bidding. Only lasts for a few minutes and for now she can only hold two people under her spell.

Draugr Team's leader is Latoya. These are the muscle, the heavy gunners, the suppressors. They walk around with heavy af weapons like it's nothing. If it's heavy artillery that woman can make excellent and effictive use of it. Her favorite type of weapon is the LMG.

Xiomara is the lead of Specter Team who are effective hackers. Basically the techies. Need a security system fried? Documents stolen from a server? Edited videos? Doxxing? Online tracking? Deleting online trail? Anything nerdy that may involve keyboards? Xiomara, Katya, and Thor are your go to for it. She mostly hangs back as she doesn't actually have to be in the thick of things but she's good with any AR.

AJ favors SMGs and handguns. Like Mahmud and Angelus he's speedy af and can run the entire AO and back without breaking a sweat.

Mahmud is all about lighter ARs so he doesn't get weighed down because he just has to go fast. He's part of Wraith Team (cqc/b specialists).

Manami is also a heavy gunner and anything that's not an LMG just won't do. She's also part of Draugr Team. She's a Berserker so she can also use her naginata.

Bombs! Explosives! Need some bomb disabled or wanna put a bomb in a car that'll go off when the driver puts the key in the ignition? Shaine's your gal. She freaking loves any and all things that go boom really loud. She's an absolute expert on all things bombs. She's leader of the Revenent Team aka the bomb squad. She'd happily run around with an RPG but that's not conventional so whatever else she can get her hands on is okay it's just not as fun though she will absolutely use weapons that can add a grenade launcher to it.

Tre is actually the leader of Wraith Team. Surgeon with a shotgun and a Seer which is super helpful. All he has to do is touch an item the enemy has held in order for him to see where they're coming from and what weapons they'll use.

Loke is an overall weapons expert. Like put any weapon in his hands and he'll use it to maximum efficiency and he's sort of the non-official field medic. He often plays the role of pointman and is the lead of Lich Team which are the 'jack of all trades' it's just that in his case he mastered all the guns and is actually excellent in every and any role he's placed in. His expertise of sniper rifles is second only to Trevor. Only knows 1 spell that his mother taught him when he was a boy and can use it if they're overwhelmed. As a Berserker he has access to a bow with infinite arrows, an axe and a shield.

And then Jelani who is the Acting Lead Agent, as well as second in command and will actually become THE head of Legion. He doesn't HAVE to be in the field but he loves being there and let's face it he's a bit of a control freak and wants to be there to make sure shit goes accordingto plan. If plan A fails you can bet he's got plans B through Z ready to go. Excellent strategist, like his brother an excellent tracker. He's part of Lich Team and is excellent with any weapon but his favorite are carbines like the M4. Lightweight and easy to use and reliable. Jelani isn't exactly who you'd look to for magic but he has one or two tricks up his sleeve. He can grab anyone and whisper to them in an unknown language to make them fall into a sort of coma like state but they're awake. In that state the victim will follow Jelani's every command and once he let's go they're brain dead. He's not a Berserker but he can materialize a weapon similar to his mother's, a glaive. It's just made of a different material. He's use of magic is a whole nother mess tbh.

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I hadn't thought of too much info into Parasites yet as they're a relatively "new" thing that I redid. Actually if I'm being honest I scrapped almost all info and all Daefiernos and started again when I got rid of a character a few years back so they took a backseat until I started really getting into developing AJ. A few details of Parasites I hadn't thought of yet so these were useful 💞 I just get fixated on a thing and everything else takes a backseat lol