#Matching survival 1+1
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Real talk, I hope Nic and Luke are ok.. only just saw how much Netflix and Bridgerton socials are being flooded with complaints. Yes I have my opinions, but they did incredibly with what they were given.
#tbh no ones blaming them - more the showrunner#which i hope isnt reading this stuff too - its too much - she is human#the petitions are doing crazy numbers too#im so upset this is the outcome of the totalled season#part 1 was incredibl#then maybe the pr between both parts created hype that was never gonna be matched#i know nicolas online a lot - i hope she just moves on#this isnt on her#but yes - the show has been messed with from all sides#i fear the show won't survive as long as I'd hoped if things don't change#polin#bridgerton#nicola coughlan#luke newton#lukola
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evolution of kuwabara's flyswatter strategy + proving hiei wrong
youtube vers. it's the same video but on youtube
#turns out swinging it around like a flyswatter IS a way to survive#it's 0-1 hiei to kuwabara lol#i mean. it worked he won that match#yyh#yu yu hakusho#hiei#kazuma kuwabara#there's a lot of little things like this where i have NO clue if they're callbacks or just. things happening twice. but i think it's cool y
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Anyway after thorough research, I can confirm that I am, in fact, not a big fan of the snow ahsjakskla it was really cool for like an hour and I was having a fantastic time, but the novelty wore off quick when it melted into my clothes lmaoooo
#not snz#might use it in fics tho#now that i know it's not something everyone made up to gaslight those of us who have lived places it doesn't snow our whole lives LMAO#i still think the rain is sexier and more versatile but snow has a cute vibe to it#anyway we did like a fake ass 'hike' lmao idk where tf we were tbh but we were Walking#it was a fucking struggle bro i was fighting for my fucking life#like i thought hiking in the mud was bad but this was something else#and it wasn't even a real hike like it was mostly flat 😭#also turns out none of the clothes i own are good to wear in the snow#crazy concept who would've thought that the clothes of someone who's never seen snow once in their life wouldn't be good for the snow#i had my thick ass jacket i wear to my ranch hand job in the winter/when it rains but that was Not Enough#i did have the sense to bring my parka that i had when i was a swimmer bc that shit is water proof af#and it did help i guess but i looked fucking stupid 😔#anyway we had all rented out like? a house? a cabin?? so we could all stay together#so we spent a few hours outside then went in and made food and played games and watched movies#so that was cool i liked that vibe#it was really pretty but man once you realize you're wet it just all goes downhill lmaoooo#got to snuggle with the boyf tho so that was nice 🥰#also why do men do the things they do ahdkaksks they started wrestling on the floor while me and the other girl were just like 👁️👄👁️#like i used to be included in wrestling matches at the station before it got banned so i know it's entertaining for them but i don't get it#honestly a bit unnerving knowing that i could never stand a chance if it was fr and i don't like to think about that for too long#but man idk what it is about this breed of men wanting to tackle each other to the floor lmaoooo like what instinct is that#also we threw snowballs at each other and that was fucking primal LMAO like i understand that one#and then a few of us built snow people while everyone else was working on making just a massive fucking snowball#so yeah i had a good time but I'm so fucking glad it was only a couple days bc i couldn't deal with that for long lmaoooo#loooooved just sitting inside and looking out the window tho like that was peak#anyway we left early on monday and came back late tuesday and i had emt work today#or yesterday technically bc it is ✨️ 1 am ✨️ lmaoooo#and i have a full schedule for the rest of the week with various activities/obligations so no time to rest for me until next week lmao#here's to hoping i survive ahsmkakz
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Nuggets I drew 4 school assignments!!!
I'm gonna miss my free photoshop sigh...
The lyrics 4 Dana's are from Jessica Law's This Is Not a Place of Honour
I was gonna use some lyrics from the Nice vs Kind but I wasn't sure if it fit the mood of the drawing specifically
#my art#art#lobotomy corporation#MAXWELL!!!#Training Team Captain Dana#im giving them specialized tags because theyre special#i drew both of these w a mouse and barely any stabilization and it shows#so first off with Dana#the lyrics from nice vs kind#were gonna be from the first chorus so:#just because im nice / doesnt mean im blind / Are gonna do it? / Are you gonna break my heart? / I could wait and see /#But the waiting's killing me / Hurry up and do it / Hurry up and break my heart#and i was gonna choose those cuz they matched what i had in mind 4 her character#she's the training team captain#she's done training with everyone at least once and everyone knows her#canonically in my playthrough i had a bunch of nuggets in training 4 the bonus but then moved them out as i expanded#but Dana (and Daphne who's not pictured) stayed behind#Dana spends time with every agent#training them to be the best so they can survive#but no one actually stays in training long term#except for Dana and Daphne since theyre the agents who lead the training#and i like to think eventually Dana's training gets brutal#1. because i trained all my favorites 2 max and a whole bunch of new ones 2 the old max#2. so she can spend as little time with them and that she wont actually be so attached when they eventually die#everyone regards her warmly though#since shes generally nice outside of training#is she kind?#havent actually decided but most think she is#but she herself doesnt think so#i only had room 2 ramble about dana oh my god... im gonna have 2 do maxwell in a seperate reblog sigh....
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Season 1, Episode 6: Wrench

Using only a wrench and rope, MacGyver must diffuse a bomb set near the United Nations by his old nemesis, "The Ghost," a notorious criminal whose work killed his mentor, and track him down before he strikes again.
Season 3, Episode 13: Wilderness + Training + Survival

Mac, Riley and Bozer go on a weekend of survival training, then they run into a violent group of criminals who are searching for a lost crate of money. Jack and Matty go on a road trip to place Ethan and his family in witness protection.
#macgyver 2016#macgyver 2016 episodes tournament#1x06 wrench#3x13 wilderness + training + survival#Round 4#Round 4 Match 1
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charles win and kylian double. nobody talk to me 😭


#if you had told me that last sunday i would have laughed in your face#finally a good day for both of my boys#surviving the triple header and the first three la liga match was worth it#kylian mbappe#charles leclerc#formula 1#football#f1.pic#football.pic
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no like rereading the first book made it very clear.. DO NAWT PLAY WITH HIM
I always laugh when people paint Peeta as a soft, innocent, almost a push over type of guy. Like this boy was eating Katniss up in arguments, making innuendos while on his deathbed, and beating up guys if they threaten his girl. Like come on now.
#peeta mellark#hes a victor for a reason#honestly who else could match katniss’s freak anyway#him being miles ahead without even trying#literally got his leg fucked up and managed to survive DAYS without medication#and successfully hid from getting murdered#and thats just book 1#simultaneously the people’s prince and the most deadly fucker in the arena#ouuuu#love that boy down i fear#everlark#the hunger games
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Reality TV Roundup - March & April 2025
Formula 1: Drive to Survive (Season 7, 2025) Drivers, managers and team owners live life in the fast lane – both on and off the track – during each cutthroat season of Formula 1 racing. – Netflix In the last two years, I’ve been getting into watching Formula 1 with my husband and because of that, this year was the first year that I sat down for most of the Drive to Survive season since I…
#A Trip To Friendship#docuseries#Drive To Survive#Formula 1#Netflix#Perfect Match#postaday#Reality TV#Review#TV#tv series
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everytime you compare a duo to brocedes and angel dies and falls from heaven
#if max and lando couldnt survive 1 race they never were#THEM#they cant match each others freak the way nico and lewis did...
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many of us do. it's difficult not to succumb to the feeling of not being able to do something and being completely helpless. and while it's true that individually none of us can change the world, we do have the power together to make an impact, especially on the lives of individual people around us.
instead of succumbing to feelings of doom and despair about the election, the climate, or any other ongoing crises, please consider donating to ibrahim. that is a real way to have a real impact on someone's life.
ibrahim is only 15 and is trying to raise funds to not just help him and his family escape the genocide, but also to survive in the current conditions. he has been displaced and exposed to countless horrors time and time again. the least we can do is attempt to help him.
please, if you can: match my donation of €10. if you can't spare that, spare €5 or even €1. if you really have nothing to give, share this post. don't turn away from suffering. this is your chance to do something.
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How to Have a Love Life (from someone who actually has one)

Step 1. Set Your Standards
Because if you don’t, the universe will send you men who text “wanna hang?” at 11:52 p.m.
Know what you want, even if it’s irrational. Tall, plays piano, Catholic guilt, looks good in black. Whatever. You’re allowed.
No chemistry? No deal. A good résumé means nothing if you feel nothing. You're trying to find love, you should feel something. A spark, a shiver, or a silly smile when he texts.
He should be a bit obsessed. Not restraining order obsessed, but “sent you a poem at midnight” obsessed.
“Busy” is a myth. If he wants to, he will. If he doesn’t, he won’t. There’s no mystery.

Step 2. Prepare Yourself
Not in a “fix yourself” way. In a “become so hot and self-possessed he can’t think straight” way.
Update your social media. Post hot pics, read pretentious books, quote Sappho. Let them suffer.
Romanticise your routines. The skincare, the gym, the getting ready playlist, it’s part of the charm.
Don’t try to be chill. Be passionate, a little dramatic, slightly impossible to forget. (we hate nonchalant here.)
Have a life. Not to impress him. To survive him. Join a class, go dancing, make art. Text your friends more than you text him. You need something to come home to if it falls apart.

Step 3. How to Actually Meet Guys
Yes, unfortunately, you do have to leave the house (or at least open your DMs).
Be online strategically. The story with the books, the wine glass, the dangerous neckline? Essential.
Go places alone. Cafés, galleries, vintage bookstores. Hot people live in those.
Talk first. Say something weird. Say something dry. Say anything at all. Most guys are just relieved. He won't think you're weird, and if he does, that's useful data. You don't want someone who's scared of a girl with opinions and a personality.
Mutual friends? Ask. Being set up is underrated. Just make sure it’s not someone who still says “epic.”

Step 4. Surviving the Talking Stage
Also known as: limbo, hell, emotional roulette.
Keep texting fun. You’re not here to conduct an interview.
Match his energy, then go slightly colder. Mystery keeps the plot alive.
Don’t over-invest. He’s cute, not a life plan. Don't build an entire narrative off a playlist and three emojis.
Pull back if needed. You’re not being “too much.” You’re being someone who doesn’t beg.

Step 5. Dating 101
Congratulations. You’ve made it to the main event. Don’t panic now.
Look stunning, obviously. Even if you’re just getting coffee. Especially then.
Ask good questions. The goal is connection and psychological evaluation.
Stay unpredictable. Be kind, funny, engaging, but also allow for some silent moments. It shouldn't feel awkward.
Know when to walk away. If it’s not fun, not flirty, and not fulfilling, you can go.

Step 6. Debrief & Detox
Even CIA operatives get to talk to someone after a mission.
Tell your friends everything. Especially the ridiculous parts. Especially the unhinged texts. Your group chat is sacred.
Let them reality-check you. They love you. They see the red flags when you’re busy romanticising the beige.
Don’t skip the closure. Even if the ending was awkward or slow-fade. Name it, process it, laugh about it. Then leave it.

Step 7. If It Works Out
Not every story ends in disaster. Sometimes it actually gets good.
Stay a little delusional. You still get to romanticise it all. That’s half the fun.
Keep your identity. Don’t fold into each other like laundry. Stay weird. Keep your rituals. Be your own person with someone.
Let yourself be happy. Not suspicious. Not waiting for it to crash. Just happy. Let it feel real. You don't have to apologise for being loved. You don't have to brace for impact. allow yourself to enjoy.
Still debrief with your friends. Even in love. Especially in love. They were there before, and they’ll be there after—if it ever comes to that.
And if none of this works? Post a blurry photo in your favourite outfit, listen to Norman Fucking Rockwell, and disappear for 48 hours.
lots of love (literally) to all of you and if anyone has a question or request feel free to submit it here -> <3
also, my insta hehehe
#malusokay#girl blogger#askmalu#coquette#it girl#pink blog#that girl#aesthetic#dream girl#pink pilates princess#girly stuff#girlblogging#just girly things#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#this is a girlblog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girlblog aesthetic#just a girlblog#girly tumblr#just girly posts#just girly thoughts#im just a girl#girlblogger#advice
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my friend ibrahim’s campaign is so close to finishing!!! only about €7,000 left!!!! please donate!!!! he’s a very young teenager fighting to survive and support both of his sick parents — it’s incredible dangerous and hard, and he needs all of our support!
recently, i donated €10 — please try to match that! if you can’t, please try to match half, or even €1. :)
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the hate game (1)
oliver wood x female!reader
wc: 13.3k
warnings: enemies to lovers, so damn much pining, set in poa, timeline is a bit wonky, limited use of y/n, super grumpy!oliver, oliver's scottish accent (it's a warning in itself), alcohol consumption, super! duper! cheesy! (sorry not sorry)
an: just survived the worst two weeks of my life, but the fic is finally here! this fic was originally a full 50 chapter fic i had planned for wattpad like three years ago but i found my draft for it recently and decided it needed a revival. so enjoy it, and don't forget to comment and repost to support your favourite writers :)
summary: the only thing more grating than Oliver's foul moods and his permanent scowl, has to be the fact that he's so damn pretty. you fucking hate him for it.
part two/final part
Movies, as is their premise, glamourise plenty of things - high school, politics, tiny Greek islands - but none more than the classic sucker-punch.
The teeth-crunching, blood-spitting moment where skin meets skin in a satisfying thump that sends an unsuspecting victim to the floor. Music plays and the hero grins, grabbing the girl round the waist: dipping low to kiss her.
What’s consistently (conveniently) left out is how bloody painful it is to be on the sending end of that fist.
The first, and only, time you’d ever punched someone was in second year.
It had seemed like a great idea in the moment, quickly succeeded by the mind-numbing pain that shot up your arm where knuckle met face.
You’d aimed for his jaw, but as it turns out: in addition to painful, punching someone wasn’t a particularly accurate sport for a beginner and your slippery skin found a round-tipped nose instead.
A collective gasp and a month’s worth of detention waited for you on the other side of your act of rage.
And sure, while afternoons in Snape’s classroom every Friday sucked: it was all worth it.
Every purple knuckle that throbbed with the slightest brush, the points lost to Hufflepuff, the pages and pages of Hogwarts Does Not Condon Physical Violence you’d been forced to write was worth seeing the trickle of blood running down from Oliver Wood’s nose.
To see that smug fucking look wiped clean from his face. To watch how he doubled over in pain, grappling onto his friend for balance.
“Tyler fancying you? Any bloke would rather snog a goblin.”
His little comment had earned him a broken nose.
It had been the start of a five year long feud.
It’s the reason - now - why the ground is racing up to meet you, the nose of your broomstick pressed down towards it and wind whipping so hard against your face it draws tears. You knock into the ground, catching yourself on wobbly legs. A few feet away, Oliver Wood has done the same.
He’s marching towards you with the same ferocity that’s curdling in your chest:
“Tha’s blatching and you know it!” His accent is ringing, thick and blistering with heat like it always is when he talks to you. At you, rather.
The accusation is crystal clear, and loud despite the echoing din of the quidditch stands above. From the field where you're parked, you can hear the chatter and the cheers and the boos all conglomerating into a fuzzy uproar.
There’s still twelve brooms floating in the air, spewing irritated shouts from players in both yellow and red:
Just let it go, Wood!
Come on, Cap, can we just finish the match please!
You promptly ignore them. Oliver follows suit.
“What?” You scoff, face hot as a kettle on a lit stove. “As if Laurel and Hardy haven’t been elbowing my girls all game!”
It goes without saying that you’re referring to Gryffindor’s red-head twin-set of beaters.
“Bullshit.” He seethes, it’s purposefully quiet enough that McGonagall’s approaching figure doesn’t pick it up.
She, unlike yourself, is less patient and knobby vein-webbed hands come out to knock you both against your chests: widening the gap to a safe enough distance between the opposing captains.
“You two are exhausting.” And she sounds it too. Her glasses tremble at the edge of her nose, sun shining down on her aged face. "If one more match this season is interrupted because you two can't control your tempers, you will both be stripped of captainship and you will not fly until you graduate. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"
But Oliver isn't looking at her. His eyes are focused on yours over her cloaked shoulder.
He's taking the predictable route of not replying first.
"Crystal clear, Professor." You resign to speaking first, skewing a grin at his anger-sewn face.
It’s another long boring moment before he cuts his gaze from yours, kicks up a patch of grass and grits through his teeth.
“Yes, professor.”
As can be imagined, things between you and Oliver Wood have been tense since the day he’d hobbled up to the hospital wing with a palm over his face and blood dripping down over his already red tie.
But with age, came ferocity, and what started as passing glares in the corridor melted into anger-drowned faces and sharp words flung with intent to scar.
Things got infinitely worse when you were elected captain of the Hufflepuff quidditch team in the same year Oliver was made captain for Gryffindor. It stoked the already sizzling embers that made moments around him warm and stuffy and hard to breathe.
The murky history swirled with what should be friendly competition, instead frothing into a bubbling pot of annoyed teammates and exasperated teachers and more sessions of detention than you would have ever had if you'd never met the son of a bitch that is Oliver Wood.
It's what puts you in situations like the ones you find yourself in the middle of before you even know how you got yourself there.
"You two," Professor Burbage had never held you in particularly high favour. It was just your luck that Oliver received the same courtesy. "One more word out of either of you and I will be seeing both of you this afternoon for detention in my classroom."
It was even unluckier that she'd sat you two barely three wizards away from one another and one fly-away comment had blown out into another heat-filled exchange. It always does.
"But professor--" you try.
"Right then. I'll see you both at five o' clock."
Oliver sighs, hands running up over his head between chestnut locks: "Fucking perfect. Thanks, big-mouth."
"Would you like to make it two days, Mr Wood?"
He huffs like an angry dog, tightening the grip on his writing-feather but says nothing else.
The end of the lesson doesn't come soon enough and when it does, Oliver is first out of his seat. You're grateful for it.
Cherry bumps you in the shoulder where she throws her bag over it. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"
You grin, despite the sunken feeling hollowing your chest with the acknowledgment that you're gonna be spending yet another afternoon at the mercy of an under-paid staff member alongside the hothead that was the Gryffindor captain.
"Come on, that wasn't my fault and you know it."
Her tight red curls dance when she shakes her head. They match her blood red tie. "Somehow it never is."
To your dismay, but not surprise, Enzo shares Cherry's views when he waltzes into step beside you in the corridor between Muggle Studies and Divination. His arm drapes over your shoulders and his tall frame shakes when he laughs.
"You know," his voice is thick and gravelly. "You two are gonna have to fuck it out eventually."
You roll your eyes, shoving him off you with a chuckle. The sentiment isn't anything new. "Oh, shut up."
The day folds blurrily between classes and lunch and greenhouse visits that by the time you look up it's just about five o clock.
Burbage's office door stares down at you.
The corridor is ghostly all the way behind you and it's emptiness means it's easy to make out Oliver's heavy footsteps down the stone floor. They're not slow, in an arrogant strut, neither quick like he has somewhere to be.
He trudges. Like the weight of the world is strapping him to invisible pins in the floor. It's easy to figure that your existence doesn't lighten his load any.
You don't turn. He simply falls into place beside you, keeping a good foot distance between your tightened shoulders.
The door opens.
Charity Burbage is insufferable in the way that she forces you and Oliver to sit almost on top of each other behind a scratched up desk where she can watch you under the curtain of her ratty blond hair.
You inch the chair dramatically away from Oliver's.
She's set a stack of pages by him and a wet stamp. "Stamp these and sign the date."
Additionally, she's dropped a stack of envelopes under your nose. "Tuck and seal. When you're done, you can leave."
You eye the papers. There must be hundreds.
To Whom It May Concern,
Hogwarts would like to remind all parents and guardians that the third-years will require prior permission before being allowed to visit the nearby village of Hogsmeade--
You jump when Oliver's elbow knocks yours (more violently than what was really necessary). He holds the first page out to you silently, face dripping with impatience.
When you take the page, his thumb brushes yours.
The paper is delicate in your fingers where you fold it. You tuck and seal, and by the time you've set it aside Oliver is offering the next page to you again.
His thumb brushes yours for a second time.
You find that it does for every letter that's passed on.
It's hard not to watch him out the corner of your eye. Oliver has this dark brown, nearly black, hair that's thick and almost too long and untamed all over. It's matched by bushy eyebrows and speckled freckles over the bridge of his nose.
If you didn't hate him as much as you did, you might think he was pretty. You might think that anyway.
Time stretches until the sun is setting the classroom afire with golden light and it's boredom that causes it, or possibly a desire to hear his voice at such tight quarters, but you speak.
"You know," it's soft enough that Burbage doesn't look up from her Witch Weekly magazine. "Even if - in some act of God - Scotland qualifies for the semi-finals, Luxembourg is gonna flatten them. I mean, think about it unemotionally, Wood: they have Luca Schmit as seeker. It's really a no brainer--"
"Are y’really just stupid or are you purposefully trynna start another argument?" His gaze flickers up to eye Burbage's desk warily, she still doesn't react.
Maybe it's both. After all, the subject of the Quidditch World Cup had been what put you both there in the first place.
You shrug, unfazed by his scathing remark.
"I'm just trying to make conversation."
"Well don't."
His hand brushes yours again.
-
Every second Friday, generally at the tail-end of lunch, Hooch's grey barn owl swoops low over your head and drops a smaller-than-average white envelope right into your mashed potatoes. Cherry yelps in surprise every time.
Then you watch the bird drop the same over the Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables.
Good afternoon,
Reminder of Captain's meeting this afternoon in my office. Six o' clock, don't be late.
Regards,
Madam Hooch.
The letter says the same thing it has since you became captain and it's a wonder you still take the effort to break the seal on the envelope.
But come six o' clock, you're traipsing towards the west end of the castle. Lavender streaks caress the sky under the last impression of sunlight through the ornate stone arch of the corridor windows and an autumn chill creeps up your arms where your sweater isn't thick enough.
Hooch's office is in a quiet alcove, nearly impossible to find if you didn't know where to look, and the lamps are lit. Beyond the door, you can hear voices: you grin.
The door creaks noisily where you push it open. Inside it's cramped and cluttered with shelves of quidditch equipment - broken brooms, punctured quaffles and loose kits draping every open surface - but it's warm and smells like leather and is maybe your favourite little room in the whole castle.
The quidditch legend herself, Rolanda Hooch, has her legs kicked up on her desk and the boys are standing ahead of it locked in animated chatter.
She's laughing at something they said, and smiles when you enter.
"Sorry I'm late, coach."
It's nothing new and she waves you in with a smile. "Come in, poppet."
"Merlin," Marcus' shoulder finds yours and the force of the bump nearly sends you off your feet. "You'd be late to your own funeral hey, Puffers?"
You laugh, shoving him back with as much force as you can muster against the giant brute that is Slytherin captain Marcus Flint. It barely nudges him but he barks out a laugh, rough like tractor tires over crumbly concrete.
"I'm worth the wait." You quip back, leaning around Marcus to wink at Roger Davies. "Isn't that right, Rodger?"
He flirts back, "Always, sweetheart."
Roger is the antithesis of Marcus: all pale skin, blue eyes and short blonde hair. Easy on the eyes.
Oliver lingers just behind him, the tallest of the captains. You catch his eye, face slipping into something more serious, and nod. "Hey, Wood."
He nods in return, curt like how a ministry wizard's might be.
"Right," Hooch sits up straight in her high-back chair. "There are just a couple things we need to get through tonight, we won't be long."
The dynamic between the captains would be easy, if not for Oliver.
You're the only girl and that made for tough beginnings. Marcus is naturally brash and brutish, but - as you found - easy to impress with a couple showy tricks on the broom. A single promise to show him how to pull off a Woollongong Shimmy had him eating out your hand: the favour of a couple Slytherins was generally hard to buy and invaluable to a plushy Hufflepuff such as yourself.
Roger popped out the womb with a wink at the nurse. Impeccably charming and impossibly negotiable. Beyond being slightly dim, it was hard to say a bad thing about the Ravenclaw captain
On the other hand, Oliver was … well, Oliver.
Hooch tapped the sharp end of a writing feather rhythmically at a spot on her desk, eyes roving her clipboard.
"Next week we're doing a clean up of the supply room down by the pitch. I've set you each up on days, the whole team needs to be down to help unless they're excused by a teacher: I want a written letter."
She offers a piece of parchment without looking up.
"As you all know, it's the Slytherin versus Ravenclaw game next week."
You bump your elbow to Marcus'. He looks down and grins a mouthful of crooked teeth before turning to Roger. "Ready, pretty boy?"
Roger rolls crystal blue eyes, but he's smiling too. "Bring it on, tough-shit."
"Oy," Hooch interrupts them with a cool sigh, "The last thing, you all submitted your autumn practice requests for the pitch: Roger, Marcus, you have the days you want--"
They nod. Your shoulders stiffen.
"--Oliver, Y/n. You both want Wednesday afternoons. Monday afternoon is open, I'll let you two decide between each other who is gonna move their practice. I want a decision before tomorrow night."
Marcus is sniggering under his breath. The edges of your mouth sink into a frown, of course he wants the same day as me.
You can feel the heat of Oliver's eyes on the side of your face. You don't indulge him, keeping your gaze settled on Hooch's face.
"We'll figure it out, coach."
"Unlikely." Roger's quip is barely a whisper but you catch it.
"Alright." Hooch doesn't. "You're dismissed, go get some dinner kids."
The office door bounces back off the stone wall where Marcus tosses it carelessly open, echoing all the way down the empty corridor.
Frosty air chases over your face and the boys start down towards the Great Hall. Roger is complaining about a potions essay he hasn't started and Marcus is shrugging him off with a suggestion that includes something along the vein of blackmailing a sixth year into doing it for him but you can't focus long enough to follow.
"Oliver." Irritation is prickling at the surface of your skin. It flares into an almost rash when he stops walking, glancing over his shoulder with an unconcerned expression. "Who's giving Wednesday up?"
His arms fold against his chest. You're working extremely hard not to look down where his biceps stretch the seams on his Hogwarts jumper. "Well, you obviously."
Marcus barks another laugh, he calls down the corridor: "We'll see you kids at dinner."
"Yeah, don't kill each other! It's only practice!"
You huff in disbelief, unconcerned with the running commentary.
"Uh," you mirror Oliver by folding your own arms. "no it's not. Come on, we can negotiate like civil people can't we?"
Thick caterpillar eyebrows disappear beyond the overgrowth hiding his forehead. "Negotiate? I'm the one who wasted three hours of my life in detention last week thanks to your big fat mouth. Wednesday is mine."
"That was a joint effort, twat." You can feel where your throat is flush with rising anger. It wires your jaw tight. "Are you really so bloody difficult that we can't even come to a simple agreement?"
"Difficult?" His arms have shifted from his chest to perch against his hips. "Just because I'm not giving you what you want? Cry me a fucking river, darling. Sorry Puffers, but I'm not your precious Marcus or Roger. I'm not gonna fold just cause you bat yer pretty little eyelashes at me."
Pretty?
You blink in surprise. It's brushed quickly aside for more pressing matters. Your hands scrunch into fists at your side:
"Well. I'm not giving it up. I want Wednesday."
"Neither am I."
"Fuck you."
"In your dreams."
-
Oliver collapses loudly into the open spot at the Gryffindor dining table. His callousness knocks Archie's goblet of pumpkin juice across the shiny wooden surface between dishes of sausages and peas and roast potatoes.
"Bloody hell, what's got you in a mood?" He's patting down the table with a serviette, transforming it into a orange lump under his palm.
Shaking his head, as if it would joggle the thought of you loose, Oliver stabs a chicken drumstick from the top of a nearby pile with his fork. He doesn't respond.
"Wait, let me guess." Archie presses the elbows of his red jumper into the still wet surface beside his plate. "Something to do with your little Hufflepuff sweetheart?"
Oliver grunted around a mouthful, looking annoyed. "Not mine and not a sweetheart. A fucking brat."
Archie seems to find something funny, leaning back on the bench with a haughty laugh. "Right. What she do this time?"
"Wants the pitch the same day as me for practice." He's mumbling around a mouthful of chicken, tipping forward to shove a spoon teetering with peas alongside it. "Refuses to give in, despite the fact that she put me in detention last week with Burbage."
Shifting to the edge of his seat, Archie leans around Oliver's frame to find your figure across the Hall at the yellow-lined table. He nods, seemingly finding you. "Yeah, she don't look too happy either."
"I don't care."
Oliver is trying very hard not to give into the itch to look back.
"Whatever," Archie's gaze finds his again. "in better news ... I spoke to the twins just before dinner. They're still on for tomorrow."
He's twitching in his seat, eyebrows dancing and grinning around his words like a kid who's found a matchbox.
Right. The twins.
Specifically, Daisy and Delilah Dawson: two Ravenclaw sisters a year below Oliver.
They're peng, Archie had reasoned, you need a little fling to get your mind off quidditch. You're too strung up, mate.
And sure, they were, but Oliver had more important things to do than gallivant across Hogsmeade attached to the hip of some sixth year who just wants to earn her I Kissed The Quidditch Captain! badge.
He'd groaned and whined and glowered at the prospect. Was it petulant? Naturally, but spending five sickles on subpar hot chocolate and making false conversation with some Ravenclaw was a waste of precious time in Oliver's humble opinion.
His priorities are, as they've always been, crystal clear in his mind.
1. Win Gryffindor the Quidditch Cup 2. Refer to point (1)
There was little wiggle room for the introduction of girls into any spot on that list.
You're the only one who came almost close to the tight list. Only because if there had to be a third priority, "shove winning the cup in Hufflepuff's face" might just crack it. He thought about you significantly more than any other girl in the castle and maybe that might mean something if he thought about too long about it, but fortunately, he refused to.
Regardless, Archie was adamant and more than a little pathetic when he mentioned that Daisy only agreed to see him if he had a date for Delilah. It was all settled very quickly.
And it's in this show of loyalty to his dearest friend that Oliver finds himself walking the cobblestone path down into Hogsmeade on a crisp Saturday morning.
The little village is bustling with students - it normally is - and the crowd has him knocking shoulders with Delilah who's walking in step beside him.
He's uncomfortable to find that she's staring dreamily up at the underside of his jaw.
On Oliver's other side: Archie is talking Daisy's ear off, making another pitiful attempt at holding her hand. He doesn't quite manage it and Oliver can't tell whether it's because she genuinely doesn't notice or she just can't be arsed.
"So," Delilah's voice is light and sweet. Delicate. "You mentioned that you take Arithmancy? I've heard it's tough."
Oliver nods airily. "Yeah ... yeah, it's difficult."
He tightens his jacket closer over his frame. The wind is whipping between their bodies and he thinks that maybe she didn't hear him over it's howling if her confused expression is anything to go by. He finds he's not bothered enough to repeat it.
The entrance of Madam Puddifoot's comes into view at the end of the walkway.
Oliver’s relieved. It's freezing out here and maybe he'll be more in the mood for flirtatious conversation once he's gotten some food in his stomach (Archie had insisted they skip breakfast: we have to order something to eat, so we can sit longer).
There's a jingle of a bell overhead when Archie pushes the door open, standing awkwardly aside to let the ladies in first.
Inside the shop, it's more than busy: powdery blue walls barely visible beyond the sea of Hogwarts couples crammed around tiny circle tables and waiters in red uniform knocking the back of their chairs with wobbling trays.
There's music coming from ... somewhere, it sounds like The Weird Sisters and at the sound, Oliver can't imagine how this morning could possibly go any worse.
Oh wait, yes he can.
You could be sitting at a table right by the door across a too-small-table knocking knees with some Slytherin prick. Like you are right there right now.
Delilah tugs on his wrist, it's gentle and he almost doesn't feel where he's being lead between tables towards an open booth across the room. He falls unceremoniously down against the torn leather, eyes never leaving your table.
You haven't noticed his presence, he knows because your lips are stretching around a giggle he can't hear but can already imagine. You don't smile around him, that's for sure.
Oliver's stomach is frothing and bubbling and he's trying really hard to tune back in where Archie's knocking a menu into his hand.
Of course you're there. To ruin his mood and his day, because you're just bloody perfect at it.
"So, am I seeing you girls at the Quidditch match on Saturday?" Archie's voice carries somewhere over his head.
Delilah laughs. Or maybe it's Daisy, Oliver doesn't look.
"Maybe," she says, "Depends if Oliver's gonna be there. You're gonna be there, right?"
He feels a hand nudge at his forearm. Definitely Delilah.
His gaze floats back over the table to offer a fraction of eye contact, he nods. "Oh, uh ... yeah. Sure, definitely."
Archie saves him by speaking again and your table finds Oliver's attention just in time for him to watch the boy sitting across from you swipe away a smudge of hot chocolate over your cheek. You smile, looking bashful and a little bit flushed.
A suffocating, searing heat rushes from the soles of Oliver's feet up between his every organ and over every tendril of hair on his head. His jaw tightens.
Of course he recognises the pratt across you.
Ryo Yoshida.
Every girl in the castle's wet dream, if the rumours he's heard are anything to go by. With his fucking sleek black hair and his Japanese accent that had witches flocking to him in the dozens.
He doesn't wonder why you're here with him.
Oliver is a proud man, but even he could admit that you're beautiful. Albeit reluctantly.
With your wide wet eyes that make him a little sick in a way that turns his stomach warm and the way you do your hair and those fucking dangly earrings that clink when you loose your cool on him.
That's without even mentioning the sound of your laugh - the one he only ever overhears - and your legs in the school uniform skirt and the way you look when you're diving on your broom under the light of a sunny day.
Alright, maybe he couldn't admit to all of it ... but you were okay.
Okay enough to crack a date with Ryo Yoshida or any other schmuck in the castle if you wanted.
"Anything good to eat here, Oliver?"
He pretends he doesn't hear her at first, but the kick at his shin under the table is harder to ignore.
Archie is glaring at him across the table. Dude, don't fuck this up for me.
Oliver's eyes find Delilah. She's scooted up close under his elbow and, to be fair to the poor girl, she was pretty too. Red lipstick smeared across her smiling lips, painted nails edging closer to his arm and perfectly styled hair sitting over her shoulder.
He nods, reaching for the menu: "Yeah. Actually, last time I had the Merlin Meal and it was pretty good."
She perks up, cherry red smile widening at his reply. "Oh, I thought that looked good!"
Training his eyes on the menu, Oliver wills himself not to look back at you. You're already souring his mood and you haven't even said a bloody word.
It's just what you do. What you do to him: infuriating him with the threat of an argument around any and every corner.
The waiter comes by and Oliver finds himself generous enough to gift Delilah with an arm draped over the back of her seat. She giggles and he pretends he doesn't notice when she mouths something that looked suspiciously like 'he's so hot' to her sister across the table.
Archie seems pleased too. Daisy has granted him, finally, her hand and his arm bends at an awkward angle to maintain the grip in hers under the table. He's positively beaming.
But despite Oliver’s best efforts to stay engaged, he still catches himself - only when it's too late - and his eyes are already glued to watching the way your jeans are hugging your thighs where you shift in your seat.
Your table is sat by the door. The chime of the bell calls for his gaze every time it tolls and every time he finds you let off a violent shiver in your seat as the autumn crisp rolls over your shoulders.
The door shuts again and you still.
Oliver can feel where the tips of his ears are burning red and his bones are itching: Ryo’s black suede coat is hanging over the back of his chair.
You’re still talking - hands rubbing together, fighting for warmth - he’s leaned over with his chin in palm to listen and his jacket sits unused behind his shoulders while you fucking shiver in the breeze.
It’s pathetic, really. He’s not sure whether he’s referring to himself or you: but Oliver is still looking and you’re still shaking like a leaf and he’s halfway to flipping tables to get to you and just give you his own fucking coat so you’ll stop shaking and stop annoying him—
“Oliver was just telling me about wanting to join the Hogwarts Choir.” He turns again to find Archie waiting with an expectant face, it's laced in a little bit of smugness: caught you. "Weren't you, mate?"
When he looks back you’re gone.
There's a short pile of sickles abandoned on the table and he hopes that Ryo at least had the good sense to pay for your drink after forcing you to sit in the freezing cold.
He shakes the thought off. Who cares.
In fact, he hopes you catch a cold.
-
The day passes like swimming through molasses: slow and sticky and exhausting.
It's nearly seven when Oliver presses a sympathy kiss into Delilah's cheek - Daisy allows for no such thing from Archie - and the two sisters skip off down the west wing corridor with a wiggle of their fingers over their shoulders at the boys.
"I think that went well." Archie's grinning, hands on his hip and glasses edging down his brown nose.
It's the first thing that genuinely brings a jolt of life out of Oliver all day. He teeters back on his heels, hands gripping his stomach where he laughs. Laughs like a madman.
"I think you need to get yer fucking head checked, mate."
The tail end of his outburst is simmering down, now barely a breathy chuckle, when a voice washes over him from down the other end of the corridor. "Wood!"
He'd recognise that voice anywhere. From the dead of sleep or the depth of the ocean.
He's slow when he turns on his heel, the remnants of his smile dripping all the way off the edge of his jaw until he's nearly frowning.
You're jogging, scarf bouncing at your shoulder with the movement, and coming to a stop right under his chin.
"What?"
There's a sharp edge to his tone - there always is - but he really hopes you haven't noticed how the syllable wobbled at the end. Now that you're right beneath his frame and not across the room, it's harder to ignore the lashes kissing at the corner of your eyes. You're wearing lip gloss and he knows it's for Ryo.
His stomach is churning and your face is twisting into something he is struggling to recognise.
"I--" your hands wring, eyes flickering behind to where Archie's watching curiously (you wave awkwardly). "You ... you can have Wednesday."
It's not what Oliver is anticipating. He almost takes a full step back in surprise.
"Why?"
Your eyes roll in a comfortably familiar way, "Because Hooch wants an answer tonight and one of us had to be the bigger person."
His brow tightens, eyes roving down the stitching of your sweater. It's cute. He's quiet.
"You not gonna argue?" You throw your words quickly, snatching them back before he can answer: "Perfect. I'll send her an owl before bed."
You're marching back down the corridor before he has chance to say anything else and he's watching your retreating figure with the hope - that he’s not gonna address - you’re not going to cozy up somewhere in the Slytherin dorm room.
“Well.” Archie’s running a hand over his thick black curls. “That was unexpected.”
Oliver huffs. “It’s been a weird day.”
-
An uneasy air has settled over Hogwarts.
It came in like a storm front, drifting in on the wind that dropped the article at the door of the castle.
The same copy of The Daily Prophet has been doing the rounds between dormitories and class rooms all week: Sirius Black, Azkaban’s most infamous prisoner and recent escapee, has been sighted in Dufftown by an astute Muggle, The Daily Prophet reports.
Dufftown. A barely twenty minute ride by carriage from Hogwarts bridge.
It’s got the castle on edge, it’s got you on edge. Creeping around the castle like Sirius Black is gonna jump out from around any corner.
Dumbledore stationing dementors at the edges of the castle was the tipping point for the cold drip of trickling fear in your chest that's become easy to ignore in daylight - when Cherry and Enzo are flittering around you between classes - but in moments like these, like now, when you’re on the tail end of a quidditch practice, grow like a poisonous black vine up around every nerve in your body. A Monday night, the team’s kit weighing heavy in your arms - broomstick tucked precariously in the bend of one elbow - and following the siren call of the dormitory showers.
You’d promised the team you’d get them to the house elves before the upcoming match on Saturday. The match against Gryffindor.
But for tonight, they’re gonna live in a pile at the end of your bed.
You’re exhausted: calves burning, sweat sticking loose hairs to your forehead and probably smelling like wet socks and broomstick polish.
The touch of night is suffocating the flicker of the corridor lamps. It’s long past the recently set curfew and you know that if McGonagall finds you out you’re likely in deep enough trouble to get you off Saturday’s match roster.
Despite the prospect, you don’t dwell on it. You find you’re more worried about escaped Azkaban convicts: the echo of your own footsteps setting you further on edge.
You’ve craned your neck over your shoulder enough times to form a knot there. Each time you’re relieved to find that Sirius Black hasn’t crept up behind you.
Suddenly, the squeak of your boots against the stone floor are un-alone.
Someone is marching and right in your direction. Your heart bangs wildly on the inside of your ribcage - blood turning to an icy slurry in your veins, but you don’t move.
The corner is sharp when the figure turns into the corridor you stand and the scream is halfway out your throat when your eyes find his face.
Absent is the matted black hair and sunken eyes you’re anticipating. Instead, warm brown rings reflect the fire of the lit torches.
Your broomstick clutters to the floor, warm relief flooding down to your fingertips. “Fucking hell, Wood.”
He looks just as surprised as you. Only for a moment, though, before his gaze is tightening in annoyance again.
“I thought you were Sirius Black.“
“Well that’s stupid isn’t it.”
You huff, shifting the weight of the team’s robes precariously between your arms: squatting to try scoop up your broomstick off the floor again. You’re halfway successful when it clatters loudly back against the stone floor.
“What are you even doin’ out here so late? You know curfew is passed, don’t you?” His voice curls with something that might be mistaken for concern if you didn’t know who you were talking to.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
You’re reaching down again. A robe on the top of the pile slips off, landing beside the broomstick.
“Aye right. Whatever, goodnight.”
He’s brushing past you.
In a movement neither of you anticipated, driven by the fear shooting up your spine again, your hand finds his wrist. “Wait—“
Oliver freezes: eyes dropping to where you’re connected. You rip your hand back, as if scalded.
“I …” the words mash and wrestle at the back of your throat. “Could …”
You glance down the darkened corridor awaiting you in the journey back to your dorm before meeting his face again. It’s unreadable.
His brow scrunches. “Yes?"
"Could you want me to walk my common room?”
Embarrassment sears at your cheeks. On a normal day, you’d sooner go dancing naked under the Whomping Willow before asking Oliver Wood a favour but that was before the image of Sirius Black swum behind your eyes everywhere you looked.
Oliver would be fairly useless if faced with the criminal, naturally, but at least you wouldn’t die alone.
“Please?” Your voice is quiet and you think it’s the gentlest word you’ve ever said to him.
There’s a long stretch of quiet. His eyes flicker between your face and the broomstick on the floor. It’s quickly stretching past the blurring boundaries of an appropriate time for consideration.
You’re practically melting in embarrassment now, electing to make the decision for him.
“Never mind.” You squat again, successful this time in sticking the broomstick back under your arm. The dropped robe is more difficult but you manage to replace it. “Forget I asked.”
Oliver’s moving before you’re stood straight up again. He’s reaching for your broomstick, you instinctively yank it back but he sticks you with a firm look and his thumb is unexpectedly soft where it caresses over your knuckle wrapped around the handle.
Your grip loosens and he perches the broomstick over his shoulder with ease. He surprises you again by taking half the load of laundry in your arms into his own.
“C’mon, before someone catches us out here. I’m not doing any more detention because of you.”
He’s already three feet ahead when blood rushes down to your legs, prompting them to chase after his figure. The movement is easier, lightened by Oliver’s surprise act of kindness.
You fall into step beside him, half-tempted to comment on his willingness to share your burden, but knowing him, one wrong word and he’d dump it all back into your arms.
It’s quiet.
You don’t make a move to talk and Oliver doesn’t look your way. It dawns on you that Gryffindor dormitory is in the other direction and you’re still deciding whether to feel guilty or flattered over the fact when Oliver speaks.
“Why’re you out here alone?”
You look, met with the side of his face: it’s still like he hadn’t said anything at all. There’s a tugging instinct to snap at him.
Why do you care?
But his tone is perceptibly gentle enough that you think maybe, just this once, it won’t end in an argument. You test the tepid waters.
“Uh …” your head knocks sideways, tilted as you speak. “I let the team come up early while I sorted the quaffles in the sports closet by the pitch. Didn’t want them walking up in the dark.”
You’re tempted to mention that it was his team last week that left it in such a mess. You don’t.
"And now you’re walking in the dark yourself? Smart move, princess."
Your breath hitches.
It’s not the first time he’s called you that. Princess. A couple times over the years, usually in the heat of a spiraling argument, but never so benign. While still ungentle, the tone is soft enough that it rings in your ears.
You choose not to succumb to the antagonization of his reply. Humming, you shrug. "Rather me than them."
His eyes flicker, almost barely, to the high apple of your cheek. You notice in the corner of your eye how his jaw twitches, like he wants to say something.
He seemingly decides otherwise because he focuses his eyes ahead of him and stays silent.
The overhanging ceiling art is sloping down, air going sticky with the scents of the kitchen the further you go: it’s the trademark of the approaching Hufflepuff common room.
Another two turns and it will be the end of your little journey with Oliver Wood.
"‘M surprised Ryo didn’t walk you up."
You're more surprised than you've been since finding him, eyes widening in confusion. He grants you another look out the side of his eye.
"How do you know about that?"
Oliver shrugs, shifting your broomstick to the other shoulder.
"The whole world saw your little date down at Madam Puddifoot's the other day."
Of course. Word travels faster through seventh year than a new Firebolt.
"Yeah. Well." You hum. "That's not gonna be happening again anytime soon.”
It had all been good and well. The rush of having Ryo Yoshida, Hogwart's most eligible bachelor, ask you out and - to be fair - the date had been fine. Ryo was funny and made good conversation but nothing near thrilling enough to daydream over and you'd allowed yourself to brush over a couple red flags because of it, until Cherry came bursting into your dormitory less than a day after your date relaying how he'd caught her between classes to ask her out to the same spot.
"Why's that?"
You're confused now, why Oliver cares or how he'd become curious enough to actually ask. You're even more confused as to why you decide to answer him. You shrug, "He asked Cherry out the very next day. She said no, obviously, but that was enough to let the whole thing go."
You expect him to say something malicious, quip something spiteful about What you did you think would happen? You're nowhere near in his league.
He doesn't.
"He's an idiot."
Not for the first time in the last five minutes, you're not sure what to say. You think this is the longest a conversation has gone without an argument. You sigh, "Yeah."
The stack-up of barrels comes into view. You dig into you the deep pocket on the inside of your robe, emerging with your wand.
Oliver stops, eyes flickering between the barrels and his shining black boots.
You step ahead, tapping the barrels in the rhythm that's become second-nature and the entryway opens.
Turning to him, you offer out an arm and he sets the robes back into your hands. The awkwardness is stifling. He leans forward, tucking the broomstick under your arm, hand wavering to make sure it doesn't fall again. The gesture makes the hold in your knees wobbly.
He nods. "Right. Goodnight."
You nod back, so quickly that you hear your earrings jingle. "Yeah, g'night."
Oliver turns, marching back the way you came and you watch him: biting your bottom lip so hard you're half expecting to draw blood.
"Thank you!" It leaps from your mouth before you have you moment to let it marinate on your tongue. You wince immediately.
He pauses, turning halfway on his heel. He smiles, it's not wide enough for teeth, but definitely wide enough to have your heart falling through your stomach. He nods again and then he's gone.
-
Saturday arrives gloomy and dripping.
It makes for good quidditch conditions, but the chill in the air is still hard to ignore when you step out into mushy grass under stadium lights. The roar of the crowd nearly deafens you, but it'll only take a couple minutes in the air for it to burn down to a soft hum.
In the middle of the stadium floor: Hooch is standing with a whistle to her lips, her figure blurred by the drizzle. Oliver stands beside her, and behind you, your team is clambering onto their brooms and rising into the air with the freshly washed kit over their backs.
You go to walk, but the icy glance Oliver is sending your way convinces you into a jog. He's always impatient before a game, itchy, antsy.
"On time as usual." Hooch hums when you land beside her.
"Got the whole bloody school waiting on her." Oliver mutters but Hooch shrugs him off, pulling the game coin out from inside her robes.
"Perfect." She positions it so we can see, "Gryffindor?"
Oliver straightens out, chest swelling: "Heads."
Hooch nods and before you can suck in another breath, the coin is in the air. She catches it with a skilled hand, flipping and revealing it to the set of captains.
"Hufflepuff, first ball!" She shouts loud enough that the floating players can hear. They nod, some groaning.
The coach turns back on the captains, "I want a fair game kids, no fighting."
"Me and Ollie? Fight?" You smile, "Never, coach."
Oliver rolls his eyes. "Yes, coach."
Suddenly you're above the pitch, sucking in breaths of wet air and struck with that familiar feeling like you could conquer the world on just your broomstick.
The quaffle flies and you stoop to catch it, twisting around Alicia Spinnet to snatch the ball before she's even noticed you're there.
Rain pelts on heads and the game goes on.
Oliver is shouting like a madman from his place in front of the goals behind you - you’ve long learnt to drown it out. He does it half to annoy his own team and half to distract yours.
You're spinning, flying, swooping and - as you predicted - the crowd has become a distant call, a blurring sight of yellow and red.
An hour passes and the game is already halfway into the next when there's a rise in the crowd. It's not the normal yells and whoops and hollers, but you still don't look up: you're calling over to Jane and Wyatt, your beaters.
“Get between the twins, and stay there!”
Below, Harry Potter and your own seeker, Cedric Diggory, are flying in circles around each other. The call of Cedric's name is on the tip of your tongue when there’s another ripple of sound off the crowd and this one draws your eyes. It’s there for a second before you find the army of figures descending on the pitch.
Your breath catches in your throat, freezing solid so you can’t swallow.
The dementors are even more ghostly this close. You'd never seen so many.
A darkness is permeating the air, the sight of the supporters in the stand dissipating into black. They’re floating in from every corner, drifting at a pace that’s too fast for you to make a move in any direction.
There’s a scream and your gaze finds the body falling through the sky: it’s Harry.
The ground is racing up to meet him and adrenaline drives your hand to tip your broom, to chase after his quickly disappearing shape when a blurry figure blocks your way.
Someone yells your name but you don’t hear it.
You’d never imagined examining a dementor, much less this up close, but even if you had: nothing your imagination could conjure up would ever come close to the harrowing darkness of its empty eye-sockets.
Its silhouette spreads over every corner of your vision, black like night and blocking the view of the sky. Your nose is so close you could tip forward and meet it's silken cloak.
A cold washes over your body like you've never felt, like you're freezing over: ice creeping up your fingertips, shoulders and face.
Your brain looses all grip on thought, replaced with a seeping dread. It barely acknowledges where a scabbed, decomposing hand is reaching out to you.
Charcoal fingertips brush your cheek when you're tugged back, all the way off your broomstick.
There's not even a last coherent thought to panic when you're engulfed in a warm chest, a hand stabilising around your waist onto a new broomstick. It dips and the green grass is reaching up to you.
The new heat engulfs you through to your bones. You grasp blindly for the expanse of a thick veined neck, wrapping yourself around him.
Digging your face into his shoulder, it takes one glance at the scarlet robes to know who it is. Oliver's panting, one hand holding you against him while the other steers the broomstick down to the floor.
You're trembling, no thought occupying any space beyond Oliver, Oliver, Oliver, Oliver--
"What the bloody hell were you thinking?"
The voice is distant, said against your temple but echoing as if from the end of a long corridor. You don't register where hot tears are wetting your cheeks, erupting over your face without being called.
His words prompt you closer: a tight arm furling over his shoulders and wrapping around him like a vine around an old tree.
"O-Oliver ..."
The hand over your waist tightens. "Sh ... it's fine. You're fine."
The broomstick lands shakily, Oliver's boots squelching into muddy grass. You barely realise you're back on ground when another hand is tugging you off, but you cling tighter to the sweaty red neck: shaking your wet face against his well-pressed robes.
"C'mon, princess ..." His calloused hands pry you from him, gently like you're a piece of china sitting on the very edge of a high shelf. "It's Pomfrey, she's gonna look after you."
You think you feel a kiss press into your hairline before you're being scooped up into a new set of arms. Madam Pomfrey is warm too, smelling like antiseptic and maple syrup.
There's another swell of noise erupting from the supporters above and you're being lead away.
Oliver watches your figure, slumped against the school nurse until you've disappeared into the medical tent.
His heart is going wild, slamming against the walls of his ribcage. Beside him his hands are shaking and he's sucking in thick gulps of air, he finds it still isn't enough oxygen.
There's another splatter where Angelina has landed a few feet behind him. She's panting too, tugging on the edge of his robes and pointing up into the sky.
"Wood!" She's frantic, "They won, Cedric caught the snitch!"
His mouth is dry when he swallows. Rain catches in his eye when he looks up, half the Hufflepuff team is no longer in the sky and the Gryffindors are all on their way down.
"I ..." feeling is returning to his fingertips, "is ... where's Harry?"
Angelina points in the direction of the medical tent. Above, the pitch is engulfed in a bright white light and Oliver catches the wispy end of a shining phoenix chasing between disappearing Dementors. It's a patronus. Dumbledore's, Oliver figures somewhere in his muddy brain.
"Is everyone else okay?"
Angelina nods. Her eyes flicker to the medical tent then back at him. "Is she?"
The image returns to him: the mass of darkness engulfing your figure in the sky. The terror that ripped through him like he was being torn apart from the inside, the whistle of the wind that stung over his ears and how it blocked out his mutterings of please, please, please--
He shakes his head. "She's too tough for her own good. She'll ... she'll be fine."
But it comes out like he's trying to convince himself more than Angelina.
-
Oliver doesn't see you for a few days.
Two, to be exact, and his skin itches the entire time. A deep itch, like it's coming from his bones.
It's only on Monday evening at dinner, with the Hufflepuff table whooping, that you come strolling back into the light of his eyes.
Your head is down, flushed with all the attention, and when you sit, kids are rising from their seats to tackle you into side hugs. He can tell you're embarrassed but he can't gather himself enough to care: the warm rush of relief flooding his stomach so much so that if he dared open his mouth it would all come rushing out.
You look fine. All limbs attached and smiling, it settles him.
He doesn't snap at Archie when he knocks his shoulder with a "you're staring" and his dinner suddenly looks more appetising when he peels his eyes off your figure down to his plate. He finds that he doesn't care as much as he usually does where Enzo's lanky arm is strung over your shoulder.
The week passes in a flurry.
While you share several classes, Oliver doesn't share a single word with you. It's hard not to notice that you're working very hard not to interact with him.
In Muggle Studies, you arrive late and keep your nose tucked deep into the pages of a textbook he knows you couldn't care less about. You're up and out of the classroom before he's even zipped up his bag. It's the same in Potions and Arithmacy.
While going days without talking to each other is not unusual, this time he can tell it’s on purpose. He pretends that he doesn't care.
The rain has cleared and when Friday arrives the sunset is red and orange and purple, granting Oliver with a rare enchanting view out his bedroom window where it's setting behind the East tower.
It's in this quiet, peaceful moment that Archie comes bouncing in with some news of a party happening in the Ravenclaw dormitory.
He's indifferent but Archie is nothing if not convincing.
"Come on, dude. You're literally a hermit crab." He sighs, falling back against his own poster bed across Oliver's. "There will be girls."
"There's girls everywhere, Arch."
His eyebrows wiggle, "And alcohol."
It takes a bit more pestering and the Weasley twins rushing in after him with the same news (and a far less patient approach) to get him up off his bed.
He digs in his cupboard for the last pair of clean jeans and a somewhat suitable purple jumper, tugging them on with a grumble, before he's being dragged by both arms - a twin on each side - across the castle to the West tower wherein resides the Ravenclaw population.
The common room is bustling with seventh years, he recognises them from all houses, and a table set up to the side with some trays of food. He's barely made himself comfortable when Katie Bell is shoving a red solo cup into his hand:
"It's Angelina's brew." She informs him.
He can believe that. The liquid is strong, burning down his throat followed by the barely there after-taste of pumpkin juice. Oliver downs the whole thing in one go.
The music swells louder and he's three cups of Angelina's concoction deep when you come tumbling through the entrance portal.
You're drunk yourself, he can tell by the way you're giggling and half leaning on Cherry Stretton. Bumping through people, not passing without leaning back to apologise to them tipsily, you head straight into the arms of Angelina and Alicia Spinnet. They smile in surprise, engulfing you in their arms.
Despite his and your long-held rivalry, it had done nothing to stop the rest of his team from sweetening up to you. The twins called you their favourite yellow tie at regular intervals and the girls found you nothing less than endearing. Oliver could lie and say he hated it.
Instead, he wrestles his way to where Katie is situated with more to drink, filling his cup and downing it.
-
The room is twisting in a flurry of colours and faces and it's the lightest you've felt in almost a week. You giggle against Enzo, his dreads tucked safely back in a bun while Cedric sets a Dragon-Barrel Brandy shot on fire and hands it carefully over.
Enzo's head knocks back, slipping the burning liquid down his throat with a wince. There's a cheer at his accomplishment, and suddenly Cedric's knocking your elbow: "you're next, Cap!"
After the match-gone-wrong, Madam Pomfrey had held you down in the infirmary until Monday morning. You were fed copious amounts of chocolate - in the form of bars and drinks and cakes and ice creams. By Saturday night you were - surely a couple kilograms heavier - and feeling fine, but Pomfrey was nothing if not paranoid:
"That was no light ordeal you went through, dear. I'm not letting you out of my sight until I'm happy with you."
In all honesty, you'd prefer if the whole school forgot it ever happened.
If Pomfrey didn't fret and your friends didn't come by every meal time and your team stopped sending you get better! letters and nobody mentioned it ever again.
More than anyone, you wished Oliver would forget. The ordeal, or maybe just you as a person.
You'd made a stupid decision under the heat of stadium lights and the influence of racing adrenaline, trying to chase for Harry, and he'd made a stupider decision coming to save you from yourself.
When it got quiet in the infirmary past dusk and Harry's shadowy figure was long since snoring in the bed across yours, you could feel Oliver's touch. Could feel it's strong hold wrapped around your waist and the voice against you the back of your neck and the lips at your temple.
You never reminisced long: for with his touch came the writhing, scalding fear burrowing a hole in your chest.
He could tease you, he will tease you.
Oliver had saved you from the clutches of a dementor moments from your soul being sucked out your body and you'd cried in his chest the whole time, refused to let him go in front of the whole school. It was a mortification you would never live down. And if Oliver decided he was going to use it against you, even once, you were sure you'd melt into the floor in shame.
It's what's made the Firewhiskey and Lemon squash concoction Cherry had handed you back in her room so easy to toss back. It stung and steam rose out your mouth where you'd panted for air. There was another ... and another, they went down the same.
The walk across the castle to reach the Ravenclaw Tower had been wobbly and you'd laughed with your friends loud enough to wake up the whole castle you're sure, but it dissolved the fear that clung to your bones. The fear that he was here, lingering between the people in the crowded blue common room.
Now the liquor is fading. Numbing to a dull buzz and you decline Cedric's offer at a burning shot, thinking about how proud you'll be of yourself when you wake up tomorrow morning in bed rather than wrapped around a toilet seat and hauling up guts into the bowl.
The party, not unlike yourself, is dimming.
Students are crawling away into all corners, each with their own excuse. I have a potions essay to do or No, dude, I'm too drunk for this or Flint wants us down at the pitch for drills at eight tomorrow morning, I gotta head to bed.
The crowd, though thinning, is beginning to clump into respective circles across the room. You glance annoyed at the fireplace where the flames crack merrily. Even with your short skirt and thin satin top, the heat of the common room is stifling.
Enzo is on his fourth burning shot, it's lost it's appeal to the crowd but he seems undeterred, knocking Cedric in the shoulder with the empty shot glass motioning: another! You yawn, playing mindlessly with the ruffled sleeve of your shirt.
"Oh no," A harsh tug at your hand draws you from the lure of sleep that's fogging your mind. "The night is young, no yawning!"
Cherry has your wrist in her grip, Enzo's in the other. He blinks blearily down at his friends.
"Huh?"
"Come on," Cherry's brown eyes roll far back in her head. "Fred says they're starting Seven Minutes In Heaven. Let's go join--"
"Seven minutes--?" you laugh between words, "Cher, are you mad?"
She whines, pouting like a kicked dog. "It'll be fun. Besides, when last did you have a good fucking snog? Too long, I say!"
Somehow, you're not only convinced across the room into a spot onto the floor in a circle of a couple others, but a drink has ended up in your hand and its contents quickly down your gullet.
For the nerves, you assure yourself.
Before you know it, Angelina - who's conveniently settled beside you - is topping up your plastic cup with a nearly empty bottle of Daisyroot Draught. "This is the good stuff. Katie stashed it in, her sister works at a brewery."
You smile nervously, nod, and take a tentative sip. The pre-existing buzz in your head convinces you it's not so bad.
In the circle is a couple Gryffindors you recognise, some giggling Slytherin girls, a Ravenclaw you can't name and three members of your quidditch team. There's an open spot on the side you don't take note of.
That is until Archie Kumar is steering a grumpy, visibly drunk Oliver Wood into the open place and collapsing beside him.
Your breath catches in your throat, heart sinking into your stomach like a stone. You're halfway off the floor, suddenly desperate for the loo, when Cherry - on your left side - drags you back down to the floor.
Maybe it's Katie's sister's brew, but you tumble too easily back onto your bum.
"Relax. Just don't look at him, okay?"
You suck in another breath, eyes trained on the white moon outline sewn into the rug. "Yeah ... okay."
It doesn't hold long and when you find the Gryffindor captain again, his gaze is trained on your face. It's stone cold. You gasp quietly and look away.
"Right!" George Weasley is on his feet, setting an empty Firewhisky bottle into the centre. "Who's first?"
Alicia shuffles forward on her knees, the first of the group to move, and the bottle goes spinning. It lands on the Ravenclaw boy. He grins and she does too: Fred wolf-whistles when they stand.
The "heaven" in question is a tall oak cabinet leaning against the back wall of the common room. The pair disappear into its depths and conversation rises again as the circle waits.
You sip your drink in large gulps, trying to hold conversation with Angelina against Oliver's hot gaze that's burning a hole through the side of your face. It's difficult: the Gryffindor girl is so drunk that she's talking with her eyes closed.
Seven minutes later, there's a chorus of "time's up!", Alicia and the boy emerge another ten seconds later. They're rearranging their clothes and Alicia is as scarlet as her quidditch robes. The boy is grinning like the cat who caught the canary. You're suddenly struck with the violent urge to throw up.
The game goes on like that, round after round. Lee Jordan and Jane Emmet (your beater), Katie and Wyatt (your other beater), Cherry and a pretty Slytherin girl you don't know - she's especially chuffed when she returns, red lipstick smeared over her chin.
You're working very hard not to look at Oliver, much less think about him, but it's proving difficult. Every time the bottle takes its spin, your stomach churns.
It had occurred to you during the time that Alicia and that boy were in the closet that there was a very real chance that Oliver could be called up when one of those pretty Slytherins take their turn at the bottle. The thought had made you down the last of your drink and immediately want to vomit it all back up into your cup.
The image of their slender arms curling around his criminally wide-set shoulders, Oliver pushing them back against the inside wall of the grand closet. Would he make noise? Would he sigh or groan against their lips or whisper something about how beautiful they looked tonight in their ears--
"Ollie, you're up mate."
You can't remember who said it, but the words stripped your gaze off Angelina and straight into the pooling brown eyes you'd been avoiding all week long.
He sighed, grumbling under his breath and only with a less-than-gentle nudge from Archie, did he lean up on thighs that flexed unfairly -- bloody hell, stop it! -- and wrap his hand over the neck of the bottle: it went spinning.
The only sound you could hear was the twist of the glass against the woven rug and the hum of your own blood rushing past your ears. It stopped.
"No fucking ways." Enzo cracked from two people down.
A hand landed on your shoulder, shaking you half off your arse: Angelina. "You're up, babe! Go!"
The bottle was pointing irrefutably at your little spot in the circle.
Oliver's face was as white as you'd ever seen it when you dared look up.
"I-I'm not going in with him--" It was the first thing that came to your mind and went spluttering out your mouth.
George was laughing so hard that he'd fallen all the way onto his back. The roar of the group was ear-splitting.
"There's no ways I'm going in with her!"
"Let's end this feud once and for all," Katie bellowed over their heads. "Captain versus captain!"
You're being knocked from all sides, hands crawling under your arms and lifting you off the floor. Across the circle, Oliver is experiencing the same and before you know it: the wooden doors of the cabinet are creaking open.
"Go on!" Lee's finger is piercing your side.
Oliver is beside you but you won't look. You take one last look over your shoulder at Cherry back on the floor, she does nothing but offer a sympathetic shrug and mouths "sorry, dear".
Your hand reaches before Oliver's, flinging the door open with maybe a little too much force. It bangs against the wall behind it.
"Let's get this over with." You mumble, only half concerned that he heard you.
You slouch climbing in, the top is low and the space is even more cramped than what you assumed. To your surprise, Oliver is stepping in after you. He takes his turn at slamming the door, shutting it this time.
It's dark inside, but not enough that you can't see. Light is peaking in through the cracks and he's leaned back against the opposite wall to you.
In the narrow space, your legs are twisting around each other to stand: his one knee situated between yours. In the dimness, he folds his arms and you notice for the first time the jumper he's wearing. The purple one, you recognise it as the one he's had for years. Time has taken its toll where the jumper is clinging to life around his frame, Oliver having grown at least three times wider while the jumper has remained the same size.
"Go on, Wood, give her a kiss!"
The voice is unrecognisable but it knocks your tongue back into your mouth where you'd been ogling at his torso.
His arms are folded, proffering you with a glare that could cut through steel. He makes no visible sign that he'd heard the shout at all. You mirror him, folding your own arms.
"I'm not kissing you."
His head cocks. "Oh, so you're talking to me now?"
You suck in a sharp breath. It's not the response you're anticipating. "What?"
"So we're playing dumb?" He leans just a fraction closer. You can smell the linger of alcohol on his breath, but it doesn't work hard enough to drown out the smell of peppermint that follows him around. "Doesn't suit you, princess."
"I'm not playing anything. I don't know what you're talking about." You double down. It's probably not sustainable but the heat of his body almost against yours and the thrum of liquor in your blood makes the decision for you.
"Y've been avoiding me all week."
"I haven't"
"You're a bad liar."
You swallow hard. Embarrassment is rising again, making your head spin. Oliver's chest is puffed up in anger, you can tell because you've had five years to learn the look like the back of your hand. Except, now - as it has been for a longer time than you care to admit - it's harder to focus on the waves of fury reflecting off of him when his face is just so ... beautiful. Nose scrunched and lips pulled tight into a grimace.
It's what makes you change tactics, you think.
"So what if I was? Why does it matter?"
His arms unfold, eyes rolling so far that his head knocks back against the wood of the cupboard.
"Why?" you press, "Did you miss me, Wood?"
"Maybe I did."
He's looking at you again. For what feels like the hundredth time just tonight, your breath escapes you in a rush and your lungs struggle to grasp back at it. Your face softens without meaning to.
You blink at him.
"You did?" It's a whisper.
His arms are still folded but something clement passes like a shadow over his features.
"No."
His face betrays his words, eyes soft and lip daring to curl up at the edge.
The air in the tight space goes cold. Or maybe it's your blood. It's more likely the look on Oliver's face: like he hasn't just turned your organs to slush. You're all the way sober now.
"I'm not kissing you." You repeat dumbly, but it's gentle.
Merlin, you want to kiss him so fucking badly.
"You mentioned." He's almost, almost, smiling. It's gentle too.
The space between you falls quiet. You're suddenly overly focused on the brush of his knee between yours. His swirling brown eyes catch on the split of light creeping in past the hinge on the door.
It stays like that until your voice creeps nervously out. "I was embarrassed. Am, I am embarrassed."
A thick brow tightens in confusion. "Why?"
You huff, almost annoyed. Your eyes train on a dark spot by your intertwined feet. "Come on, Wood."
"What, about the match?" The alcohol thickens his accent.
Your silence seems to answer his question. The apples of your cheeks are warming again.
"What was I supposed to do, leave you to have you bloody soul sucked out yer body?" His voice is rising, "No, princess, I'm not apologising for that."
It's an outpour that you're not expecting. Oliver's clearly in the mood to shock and surprise tonight.
Your lips tighten around the words that are all fighting for the spot at the tip of your tongue. Silence reigns while they argue, he's still watching you with exasperation set into the lines of his face.
"Princess." You settle.
His expression twists again. "What?"
"You always call me that. Why?" It's a question that you buried long ago. But his proximity, in conjunction with the night you've had, unearths it.
It's his turn to look surprised. He grumbles some indiscernable Scottish blabber before-- "It's because y'are a princess. Spoilt and bratty. Always gets her way."
There's no malice to his response, you find. It draws a chuckle from the depths of your chest.
"Aye, right." You mimic his accent and his quip, one he's used many times at you.
He laughs. It's not a sound you hear often and it's setting your whole nervous system alight like a tangled bunch of christmas lights. His whole body's shaking with it, head resting back against the wood again, and you really do think you might grab him and kiss him -- when the door flies open again: seeping his whole body in yellow light.
Alicia's standing at the opening, grin wide as night is wide and clearly expectant on catching you with your tongues down each other's throats.
If she'd given you another three seconds she just might have.
"Oh." She slumps in disappointment, looking back over her shoulder and shaking her head to the expectant crowd. They groan collectively. "Well, love birds, your time is up."
You'd almost forgotten where you were. Oliver clears his throat, the ghost of his laugh impossible to find on his face, and clambers over your legs out into the common room again. He doesn't pass without brushing his hand over yours.
-
It's nearly three in the morning when Enzo finally lets up.
His long legs are sprawled across the midnight blue couch in the middle of the common room. Fiona, a lovely Ravenclaw girl you'd met just tonight, shrugs at you: "Don't stress it. He can crash here tonight."
The party is long since dead. Seven Minutes In Heaven had looped another three rounds before everyone had gotten their chance in the dusty cupboard and began to grumble in boredom.
You'd avoided Oliver's eyes the whole time again, sure that if you looked he'd be able to read the fondness on your face.
It wasn't long after that the last of the students dissolved in the direction of their respective bedrooms. With your dear friend in good hands with the Ravenclaws, you loop your arm with Cherry - knocking against her side towards the portal.
You've barely pushed it ajar when she breaks off you, "Hold on, I need to get my Transfig notes from Jacob!"
"Cher, it's three in the morning?"
Alcohol is directing her legs in the opposite direction clumsily, "I'll wake him. If I fail another quiz, Mcgee's gonna have my arse."
She's gone before she catches your call: "I'll find you outside!"
The portal creaks where you shove it open again. The corridor is dimly lit and colder than the common room and a shiver chases up your exposed legs.
"Bloody hell." You run a hand over your forearms.
It's quiet too, and empty besides the Gryffindor captain leaning against the stone wall closest to the entrance you've just emerged from.
"Merlin," your eyes find his. "Not you again."
The flush over your cheeks is warding off the chill.
Oliver shrugs. "Me again."
An awkward silence permeates. Against better judgement, you shuffle forward, leaning against the wall beside him. He doesn't react, arms folded and staring into the inky abyss of the corridor leading out to the rest of the castle.
"Why're you out here?" You ask, tucking your hands between your back and the wall.
"Archie." He huffs out, voice wrapped in annoyance. "He's in there with Penelope. I gave him ten minutes."
Ah, Penelope Clearwater. She'd joined the game in the last round. A good thing too because Oliver's friend was looking more crestfallen as the bottle spun again and again, surpassing him each time. Penelope had taken the last turn, ending up with her hair in every direction and Archie's spectacles leaning half off his face when they emerged from the cupboard.
"You?"
The eddy of average conversation is strange, but you find you like it.
"Cherry." You hum. "Something about quiz notes."
He drops his head back against the wall.
"That what they calling it now?"
It startles you, head tilting to stare up at the side of his face with a grin: "oh, Wood’s got jokes now? I didn’t know it was possible for you to make a joke."
His eyes flutter shut, a twinkle of laughter bubbling out of his frame. Tucking his head down to his chest, he shrugs against his own light chuckle. "I have them. I just don’t share them with you."
You giggle back at him. "Right. Well then you better stop smiling there, someone might walk past and think we’re friends."
He shakes his head, the sound of his snicker fading but leaving behind the imprint of a smile. "Nobody’s gonna think that."
You lean back again, eyes drifting over the low ceiling. Quiet falls again - not uncomfortable - and you let it linger for a moment. A thought tugs on a loose string in your mind, not a new one, but one you’ve carefully buried over time.
It comes falling out your mouth. "You ever think about how it might be ... if things were different?"
The question grants you a look out the side of his eye. "Different?"
"Y’know," you shrug, the very last remains of alcohol are ebbing and unsureness is replacing where it stood. "If we … we had—"
"If you hadn’t suckered me in the bloody nose?" His words are unexpectedly fond.
You laugh at him, "If you hadn’t deserved to be suckered in the bloody nose."
He draws in a long breath, not answering. It prompts you.
"We could have been friends." You whisper, more to your chest than to him really.
But he hears it. "We would never be friends."
It stings sharper than it should. Your shoulders go stiff and the corners of your eyes sting inexplicably, turning the corridor blurry. A dying fire revives in your chest, blistering the cave, reminding you why Oliver Wood has been nothing but a stake in your side since you were thirteen years old.
"Of course. How stupid of me, for a minute I forgot what an absolute arsehole you are." You push off the wall, intent in going to dig out Cherry from the depths of the Ravenclaw dormitory. "Goodnight, Wood."
An arm wraps around your waist, not unlike it'd done a week ago in the air of the quidditch pitch, lurching you into him until you're pressed back against the cool stone of the corridor wall.
Oliver looms over you, crouched so that your nose bumps against his. "Don't sulk, princess."
It all happens at once: his hands grab onto the fat of your hips, digging in there like he really does hate you, and lips crash against yours like maybe he doesn't at all.
He stays there, unmoving for a second that feels a year long.
Where the inside of your brain had been buzzing with runaway threads of thought, ribbons streaking out in all directions: they disappear in a sizzling light. Oliver Wood is kissing me.
You melt against him, tipping up onto your toes and latch onto muscled shoulders. He seemingly takes that as his cue, pressing you closer against his body with his arm - lifting you half off the wall.
He tastes like the remnants of Firewhisky and pumpkin juice, the flavour setting every nerve ending in your body on fire. Lips soft but persistent while his hands grip onto you like you'd dissolve into dust if he didn't.
It's aggressive, but familiar in that way. Oliver is nothing if not hot-blooded and his touch, darting between your hips and your face is turning you tipsy again.
"If you want a friend," It's muffled when he speaks, punctuating his words with hot wet kisses, "go be friends with Ryo."
It's only in this moment, with his desperation mirroring in the glimpses of sugar brown irises you catch where he's fluttering his eyes over your face, that it dawns on you.
"Jealous much?"
He growls lowly and it makes you giggle against him, your hands slithering up into the hairs at the base of his neck. Oliver shakes his head against you, still huffing in disbelief.
"Shut up." It's accent-heavy and bleeds a hole through the bottom of your stomach. "You're such a fucking brat."
"And you're a fucking prick."
He huffs lowly, you press harder to him: solidifying the sentiment. Somehow the bickering makes it all sweeter, like you're dissolving cotton candy against your tongue where his swoops over it.
You'd just about forgotten where you were when a creak echoes down the corridor. Halfway to ignoring it in favour of Oliver's touch, your situation dawns on you in the same moment it does him.
Like you'd both licked the end of a live wire, you and Oliver jolt back a foot, hands diving to your respective sides.
Cherry is standing against the light of the common room behind her, a lanky Archie parked beside her. Their eyes are wide and Cherry's hand is against her jaw in shock.
"Oh my god." She mumbles against it.
Blood is rushing to your face and out the corner of your eye, Oliver is running a hand over the hair that's sticking in all directions from the influence of your fingers.
Cherry is laughing breathily, eyes still wide and white in surprise. "Oh my god."
Archie's eyes are flickering between you and Oliver.
"Sorry to interrupt." He says, a smirk curling onto his features.
It jumpstarts your entire system. You step forward, grabbing Cherry by the arm.
"Well," you nod at Archie and at Oliver, not daring to meet his eyes, "goodnight then."
You march with fervour, half-dragging her in the direction of the Hufflepuff common room until your figure disappears behind the next corridor.
Oliver stands with his hands hanging at his side dumbly. He swipes a finger of his bottom lip, still tasting the strawberry lip gloss you'd left there.
"Can't say I didn't see this coming, mate." A hand claps over his shoulder.
He groans, running both hands over his face, and Archie shakes him lightly.
"So ... how was it?"
With another groan, Oliver shoves Archie's hand off of him. "Bloody hell, Arch."
Archie throws his head of curly black hair back, laughing so loud it bounces off the wall. "That good, huh?"
(part two/final part)
-
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Season 2, Episode 22: UFO + Area 51

Riley and Mac are assigned to investigate a mysterious object at Area 51; Riley discovers top secret information on Mac's father, but is unsure if she should give it to Mac.
Season 3, Episode 13: Wilderness + Training + Survival

Mac, Riley and Bozer go on a weekend of survival training, then they run into a violent group of criminals who are searching for a lost crate of money. Jack and Matty go on a road trip to place Ethan and his family in witness protection.
#macgyver 2016#macgyver 2016 episodes tournament#2x22 UFO + Area 51#3x13 Wilderness + Training + Survival#Round 1 Match 31#Round 1
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easy living



pairing: eric (a quiet place: day one) x fem!reader
summary: You ran into Eric on accident. Now you're facing the end of the world together. How do you get to know someone when you can't make a sound?
tags: smut, oral (f receiving), dry humping, piv sex, silent fucking, angst, hurt/comfort, survival, discussions of trauma, slight suicidal ideation by reader, words of affirmation as a love language, stay silent or die (obviously), strangers to lovers, apocalyptic, the cheesiest ending bc it's me writing, billie holiday lyrics bc it's also me writing
a/n: here it is, the silent fucking fic i promised y'all a year ago when this movie was announced. it was supposed to be like 1-2k words of plain smut but then I got too into the theory of what one does when you can't show affection through words and I genuinely discovered a tidbit of trauma I didn't know I had while writing it so I will be talking to a therapist about it, and also I'm literally out here baring my soul lol.
i also want to thank @bigtiddythanos @raraeavesmoriendi and @maximoffwxnda for supporting me throughout this writing process <3 this fic literally would not have been finished or published without y'all
ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

The rain has ended. Morose, you stare up at the ceiling, wondering when you’ll get something close to free reign with your voice again.
Of course the world had to end while you were at fucking Whole Foods.
You’ll miss certain things. Things you always took for granted, that you never even considered made a lot of noise until now. Typing on the computer. Making stir fry. Microwaving a burrito at 3am. Lighting a match, washing your face. Taking a shower.
And other things, too, that are more obvious, like singing while making cookies. Slurping the bottom of a milkshake. You’ll never be able to have a pet bird. You’ll never be able to see another concert again, and damn it if you didn’t really want those Glastonbury tickets a month ago. But it all just seems trivial, now. You don’t see why you shouldn’t just lay here on the couch forever.
On the other side of the coffee table there’s a gentle shuffling. Eric rouses as quietly as he can; at the very least, your apartment creates a hospitable enough environment that he isn’t startled awake. It’s so silent in the apartment that you can hear the slight shift in his intake of breath, the rustle of the pillow as he turns his head to look at you.
You want to look at him, but you fear that you’ll end up wanting to talk. So, you say nothing. You do nothing. You stare at the white paint on the ceiling and you wonder whether it would be better to get on one of the boats headed out into the water, or to move inland, away from people, away from sound. There has to be somewhere far enough away from the city that the… creatures won’t go, right?
Eric waves his hand in your periphery, so that you have no choice but to acknowledge that you know he’s awake. You have no choice but to turn your head and look into the depths of his eyes, and feel all the pain of the last 48 hours return to you. You’d been able to talk last night, just enough, in time with the rain and the thunder– enough to learn that he has family across the world.
You can’t imagine knowing that somewhere, across an ocean and half a world away, your parents may or may not be dead. No way to contact them, no way to know what’s become of them. You can’t even begin to fathom the fear that he’s feeling, as much as you’re despairing.
Eric’s big eyes tell you everything. Sadness and fear, and trying to grasp at the smallest hint of normalcy he can get. He blinks at you, and mouths, You okay?
No, you’re definitely not okay. Things are not okay. Things are broken and can’t be fixed. Things will never be the same again. He knows that, as much as you know that. But you nod anyway, even though you feel your heart beat a little bit slower than usual, like it wants to just go ahead and give up already. Tears prick at your eyes, and you have to close them before you let on that you’re lying.
Eric knows you’re lying, of course. How could anyone be okay, in this kind of situation? But he waits until you open your eyes, and then he mouths, Coffee?
You let out a small sigh of relief, and a smile that’s indescribably warm crosses your face. Even though he can’t make a sound, he knows exactly what to say.

You don’t have a coffee maker that doesn’t also make a ton of noise. But through some kind of witchcraft, Eric quietly empties two k-cups into a glass measuring cup and boils a soup pot full of water on the stove, and suddenly you have hot coffee in front of you.
On a notepad left on the counter, you write, Wish I had some tea for you.
Eric’s lips turn up at the edges, and he takes the pen from you. You’re able to doctor your coffee for about one second before he slides the notepad back to you.
Bloody American.
Your ensuing huff of a laugh is enough to make him turn pink around the ears, and he turns to place the dirty measuring cup into the sink. He reaches for the faucet, but then thinks better of it. You’ll have to figure out how to wash the dishes later.
You both drink your coffee in silence on the couch. You never considered yourself uncomfortable with silence; you’ve lived alone, you’ve gone for weeks without uttering a word before. But it’s so difficult to be sitting next to someone– someone you feel you could really get to like– and not be able to say a word. To make a sound, laugh or cry or snort or grunt.
You’ll never be able to know what Eric’s laugh sounds like, or listen to his favorite song with him, or watch some stupid rerun of Friends with him while ignoring your responsibilities. He’s right there next to you, he’s risked his life to save you once already, and yet he’s so far away. You’ll never get to know him in all the ways you want to. Will you ever really know him at all?
He’d created a diversion when one of the fucking things had you trapped in a corner, between a dumpster and a brick wall. He chucked a rock at a car and set off an alarm, and then ran with you down an alleyway, his arm wrapped tight around your waist. Eric looked so sad, following you like a lost puppy. He was fucking drenched, too, so you know he’d probably been through one hell of a morning. And then the rain started, and the creatures were confused and… well, you weren’t just gonna leave him, scared and alone.
You, too, were scared and alone.
Eric’s hand appears to brush away a tear that had begun to fall down your cheek, betraying your internal monologue. You look to him with puffy eyes, and he pulls his hand away, suddenly unsure of whether you’re okay with such an intimate gesture.
Your coffee cup meets the table with a quiet tap. You’re slow to move, but you scoot towards him, his arm still outstretched towards you, his eyes wide. Eric has the prettiest eyes in the world, you think. You want to tell him so.
But you’re a little too choked up to form words, anyways. Your forehead meets Eric’s shoulder, and his arm comes around you before you can huff the first silent sob that brims up. He coos softly into your hair, so softly that you can barely hear it, but it conveys enough. It does enough.
The world is fucked. Your life is fucked. You have tunnel vision and you can only see things getting worse from here on; the only good thing you know anymore is holding you and caressing your head so gently that it pushes your tears out for you.
You’ll never get to see a movie in a theater, and smell the stale popcorn again. You’ll never drive down the highway with the wind in your hair. You’ll never ride a roller coaster or sing karaoke. You’ll never go to a club and have a drunken heart to heart with a stranger in a bathroom.
“Do you think it’s worth it?” You whisper, so faintly that it’s barely above a breath, your lips pressed to the shell of his ear. “To try to exist in a world where you have to pretend like you don’t exist?”
Eric pauses, holding you to him. You can see the wheels turning in his head, while he tries to figure out what to say. Then he turns his face to put his lips against your ear, the same way you’d done to him.
“I think it’s worth it to try to survive.” His breath tickles your skin when he whispers, “So survive with me, yeah?”
You nod solemnly, your tears threatening to rise up again. “I can’t stand not talking to you.” It’s so hard to keep your voice from cracking, from rising above the merest hint of a whisper, directly to him and no one or nothing else.
Eric takes it in stride. “You are talking to me.” He pulls back and bats his eyelashes, and you think, he oughta fucking know what that does to me.
“Not like this,” you breathe to him, because that’s really what it is– it’s a breath. A sigh. A gust of air and nothing else, barely anything that registers on your vocal chords. Your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close to you. His hand, tightening on the middle of your back, holding you there. “I want to talk– I want to get to know you.”
“Well, this isn’t so bad, is it?” Eric turns his head. His forehead nudges yours at the temple, and you swear you see a flash of a smile on his face. “What do you want to know?”
His forefinger traces up and down, up and down, a gentle pattern that keeps you grounded. You bite your lip, trying to keep from letting the sounds come out too loud. You say the first thing that comes to mind. “What’s your favorite song?”
“Easy Living. Billie Holiday.”
“You’re kidding.” You’re blushing, hot in the cheeks. You’re imagining it; slow dancing in the kitchen with him while oldies plays on the radio. You didn’t think such an innocent question would send you spiraling like this, but it hurts worse to know that it will probably never happen.
“Absolutely not.”
“Somehow… I can’t picture you listening to jazz.”
“Picture it all you want,” he whispers. Eric swallows, and continues, “My granddad used to have these records, and we used to play them on Christmas. But when– when he died, the records went missing. I couldn’t find the song until a couple years ago,” he explains, and his voice cracks just slightly into a murmur.
You both freeze. You wait for the sound of creatures coming down the hallway, busting down the walls… nothing happens. You let out a breath, and you pull his face closer to yours. His eyes flick over your face, and you put your lips against his ear.
“You have to be so quiet. Can you do that for me?” Eric nods in your hands. “I wish we could do anything but this. I wish that we could have met in better circumstances. I wish… I wish I had known you before all of this. I think we would have had a lot of fun. But if this is the only way I can get to know you, and hear your voice now, I’ll take it.” You’re nodding as well now, like you’re trying to convince yourself of it. “I’m telling you this because I don’t know how long we have. Together, I mean. And I don’t want to waste it passing notes. Okay?”
“Okay.” He sounds clipped. His hand fidgets on your back, and you pull away to find him misty-eyed, his brows turned up. He fishes for words that don’t come, and then he nods. “Okay.”
Neither of you move. The atmosphere around you feels heavy, like it’s pressing in on all sides. Eric’s hand slides up your back and to your face, and you remember that you’re still holding his. You’re near sitting in his lap with how close you’ve become, and the realization of that feels like a punch to the gut.
You think you should pull away. You don’t.
Eric’s thumb traces a gentle arc across your bottom lip. It’s so featherlight it’s barely there– his eyes are honed in on your mouth, clearly lost in thought. You’d let him stay there as long as he wants, but you want every minute you can get. “Eric–”
He closes the gap and kisses you. The way you’d said his name– or not said it, rather, you sort of mouthed it against his thumb– had done the job you wanted it to. It feels like this was the obvious conclusion to the system you’d worked out, the close proximity and your shared fears. He’s scared, he said as much last night. You’re scared, you said so just now.
Nowhere to go, nothing else to do except be right here, living. Alive, together. Kissing Eric, and him pulling you close by the waist, so that you do swing your leg and seat yourself in his lap. And as much as you love talking, and it breaks your heart that you can’t jabber at him, there are some things you just can’t put into words. Like the way that his hand on the back of your neck lights you up inside, or that you can’t think of anything other than all the areas where his skin is touching yours, and how you suddenly wish there was way more of them.
It’s stupid how much you like him already, really. You can feel your nonexistent friends clucking their tongues and shaking their heads, saying, “One day? That’s all it takes? You find some guy at the end of the world and you fall in love in 24 hours?” And they’d be right– maybe it’s not love. Not yet, anyways. But you could see it easily becoming that. And that fact scares you even more.
Your hands find Eric’s chest and the frantic beating of his heart tells you nearly the same thing. You break the kiss, trying to quietly catch your breath without gasping like you’re half-drowning. It’s harder than you expected.
“Been wanting to do that all morning,” Eric whispers. And just like that you’re falling again, faster this time, like he’s just melted your wings right off and sent you plummeting.
You struggle to keep from gasping aloud when he kisses your jaw, just beneath your ear. It’s the lightest touch but you swear it burns, sears your skin.
Your hands find the back of the couch, twitchy fingers digging in to keep you steady. Your mouth finds his again, his tongue tasting of coffee, and Eric kisses you a bit harder now, a bit sloppier.
Breaking away, you open your eyes to find his wide, starstruck, his mouth hanging open like he’s been shocked beyond belief. You didn’t honestly intend for this to happen– you wanted to talk. But somehow this seems better, more appropriate.
How do you get your feelings across when talking isn’t really an option? When innocent attraction becomes… whatever this is?
You press a single finger to his plush lips, signaling exactly what you mean without a word. Quiet.
Eric purses his lips, kisses your finger without breaking eye contact. His pupils are blown out so far that the barest hint of golden brown surrounds them, glinting in the sunlight from the window.
You lean forward, until your mouth touches his ear. “Your eyes are so fucking pretty, Eric,” you whisper to him, and your teeth latch onto his earlobe to tug gently. You can’t help it– you grind your hips down into his lap, without even thinking of doing it. “You’re so pretty.”
Eric whimpers. It’s a soft sound, hollow in the back of his throat, but it’s still too loud for the world that you’re in. You clamp your hand down over his mouth, and his breath comes out sharp and hot over your knuckles as he tries to regain composure.
“Do you want me to stop?” You ask him, whispering gently in his ear. Against you, he shakes his head no. “Want me to keep going?” Eric nods his head yes.
He’s shaking under you, his fingertips digging into your lower back like he can’t hold onto you hard enough. At the thought, your pulse pounds, blood positively humming through your veins.
You nuzzle his cheek, and give him the sweetest kiss you can while your hand is still clamped over his mouth insistently. “You have to be. Fucking. Silent. Do you understand?” He nods. “We can’t make a sound. Okay?”
Eric nods again, and keeps nodding until you let him go. If the rain was still pouring like earlier, you could tell him how much you want him, too. How you don’t want to be mean, you just don’t want to get hurt. This is a bad idea, all things considered. But Eric slides his hand down and cups your ass to lift you up a bit, and the words bad and idea suddenly fucking vanish from your vocabulary.
You stand long enough to kick off your sweats, your day old panties going down with them. You hadn’t dressed to be sexy yesterday, you dressed to get groceries. You don’t necessarily want Eric to see your faded cotton underwear with the stretched out elastic and multiple frayed holes. You don’t think it would add to your sex appeal right now.
He doesn’t notice the lack of a strip tease– he’s already taking you by the hips, not even waiting for you to shuck your t-shirt. He pulls until you’re stood in front of him, and then hooks your leg over his shoulder.
So. Eric doesn’t need to be asked to go down on you, he just does. The gentleman. His hands are firm on your ass as he nuzzles into the patch of hair between your legs, and the precarious balancing act makes you snatch onto the back of the couch again.
His tongue glides through the folds of your pussy slowly, methodically. You aren’t sure if he wants to take his time, or if he’s going slow so that he doesn’t make too much noise when doing it, but he latches onto your clit and sucks agonizingly softly, like he knows he should do it harder but won’t risk making you moan.
It’s so gentle, and it builds. Pretty soon, you’re having a tough time keeping your whimpers in, even when he’s basically just teasing you, flicking his tongue over your clit with even the barest pressure. Your head has fallen back on your shoulders, your hand now clasped over your own mouth to stifle your sighs.
Then, Eric’s hand glides up to splay across your lower back, and he sucks long and hard at your clit, and your hand squeezes murderously at the back of the couch while you ride out your orgasm on his tongue.
Knees buckling, you collapse into Eric’s lap. He has a doe-eyed look on his face that’s way too innocent after what he just did to you. With panting breath and shaking hands, you cup his rosy cheeks in your palms, shaking your head in disbelief.
Eric’s brows tilt in worry, like he did something wrong. He opens his mouth, but you put your fingers against his lips to silence him, and lean forward to breathe, “You’re too sweet for me, Eric.”
He traces his fingers lightly up your spine, and turns his head. “Maybe one day I won’t have to be sweet. Maybe then I can really fuck you.”
The sound of his whispering voice in your ear makes you shiver, your lust reaching a boiling point. The idea of him really fucking you– that this isn’t even him as normal, that he’s having to hold so much back– makes you burn hot all at once. That this isn’t something he’s planning on doing once. That there’s a ‘one day’ that he sees in the future with you in it.
With a nod, your breath catches in your throat. You find your way to his mouth again, kissing him desperately. You can taste yourself lingering on his lips, and your hips rock forward against his again.
Eric inhales sharply, stifling his own moan. You guess you have to take it just as slowly as he did, ease him into it. You work your hand beneath his unbuttoned fly and palm him, keeping your touch gentle against his hot skin. He shakes, his hands laid out against your spine, his eyes sparkling when he looks up at you.
You push your forehead against his as you sink onto his cock, letting yourself adjust to his size. His breath stutters as he tries to keep quiet, small puffs of air spilling out and meeting your electrified skin. You curl your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, rocking your hips just barely, settling into his lap.
This is more intimate than you can ever remember being with anyone, but right now it just feels right. Maybe it could be cathartic to fuck like a couple of animals in the face of doom, but Eric pulls your body flush against his, one strong forearm around your waist, and his nose nudges yours, and you think this is better. This is what you both need. Closeness. Sweetness.
There isn’t a lot of movement– you can’t risk it. You and Eric seem to be in agreement on that, because as soon as you start trying to move in earnest, he just pulls you back to him, his arm around your waist and his hand petting the back of your head.
Eric rocks his hips up into yours slowly, deeply, and it’s the depth of it and the slow sensuality that keeps you floating. Your clit catches on the patch of hair at the base of his cock each time you roll your hips with him, and you have to kiss him to keep from keening aloud. He doesn’t seem to mind it.
You know he’s close when he tucks his face against your neck, his arm tightening around you. “Feels so fucking good,” comes his whine in your ear, and you gently shush him, your hand resting on the back of his head to keep him muffled against your shoulder. You want so badly to look at his face when he cums, but there’s that pesky issue of staying alive, and that hinges on whether or not he can keep quiet when he does.
To his credit, he bites your shoulder and only whimpers a little bit. It’s just a squeak, but really, he could have been much louder about it, and then you would have both been in trouble. Imagine having to run for your life with your pants down.
Ever the gentleman, he keeps you there even after he’s spent and sensitive, his hand clamped down on your thigh to prevent you from moving. His thumb finds your clit, and he lifts his head to watch you, his hooded eyes trained on your face as he brings you to the edge and over it again. He watches the way your brows tilt up, the way you struggle to keep your own eyes open, and the silent moan that threatens to break past your parted lips.
Eric claps his hand down over your mouth before it can. Your eyes fly open, your cunt clenches down around him, and he bares his teeth as you cum hard. It’s cyclical, comes in waves as he continues to stroke you through it, as he keeps his hand clamped down on your mouth to keep you quiet.
To keep you quiet.
Feverish and exhausted, you come down with your chest against his, Eric’s head flopped back onto the backrest of the couch. Your knees fucking hurt and you have yet to get off of him, and you sort of dread the moment when you have to. But this means your mouth is positioned right next to Eric’s ear, and you’re nothing if not a talker.
“Eric?” you whisper, and he turns his head just enough to let you know he heard you. “I’m glad that I met you when I did. Even if it’s terrible timing, I’m glad we met.”
A sweet, tired smile flits across Eric’s beautiful face. He nudges his nose against your temple. “I’m glad, too.”
You shift off of him, and he squeezes your thigh just at the same time as he scrunches his face. He’s such a trooper about it, you kiss his cheek as you go, leaning over to grab a pair of earphones from the coffee table.
You hand one ear bud to him, watching as confusion crosses his face. He watches you type on your phone as he tucks the bud into his ear, and you the other.
On low volume, you listen to the soft piano and saxophone intro to an old jazz standard. Eric grins, his hand finding your cheek before he pulls you in for a kiss.
And then, Billie Holiday’s voice plays for only you two to hear.
Living for you is easy living, It’s easy to live when you’re in love And I’m so in love, There’s nothing in life but you.

#eric a quiet place day one#eric a quiet place x reader#a quiet place day one#roses*#eric x reader#eric a quiet place day one x you#eric a quiet place x you#eric a quiet place day one x reader#eric fan fiction#eric x you#joseph quinn
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Where Flowers Bow
Chapter 1



pairing – Satoru Gojo x f!reader summary – Invited to Duke Satoru Gojo’s palace as a potential bride, you arrive with nothing but a ruined name and perfect manners. Among jewels and judgment, you’re just another candidate in a parade of perfect girls — until a stranger in the garden, who isn’t what he seems, speaks to you like you’re real. In a palace of masks, someone has already chosen you. You just don’t know why.
warnings – renaissance!AU, female reader, eventual SMUT, strangers to lovers, angst with comfort, political drama, emotional tension, power imbalance, mentions of social hierarchy/class pressure, slow burn, manipulation, masks and appearances, gojo’s mother is named midora. reader’s mother is important in the story. the language leans slightly formal and poetic in tone to match the setting. more to be added.
word count – 7.7k
notes – This will be a long story because I love drama. I was completely obsessed with the idea of Duke Gojo after reading Silent Serenades by @madamechrissy and couldn’t get it out of my head. Thanks for the inspo, Chrissy ♡
divider by @thecutestgrotto
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It had never been a secret that you were meant to marry well — and soon. Since childhood, your mother had made it your life’s purpose. You were trained to move with grace, to speak only when spoken to, to always smile at the right moments. Every lesson, every correction, every praise was offered with the same quiet promise: become the perfect wife, and you’ll be rewarded. Preferably with wealth. Hopefully with influence. Love was never part of the arrangement.
You were raised knowing your fate, and it wasn’t as if you had any other choice, so you learned to accept it.
You also knew — though it was never spoken aloud — that your mother had pulled every string she could to keep your family’s downfall a secret. If anyone had learned the truth — the debt, the disgrace, the thin cracks in your inheritance — you wouldn’t have been offered to a tailor’s apprentice, let alone a Duke.
And yet, somehow, your name had made it to the list.
Now, as the carriage rocked gently beneath you, you pressed a hand to the velvet-lined wall and stared out through the narrow window. The estate was still far in the distance, but even from here, you could see the spires reaching toward the sky — proud, pale, and unreal. The Gojo palace was not meant for people like you. It belonged to stories. To legends. To those born into power, not those clawing at the edges of it.
You didn’t know what your mother had promised, or to whom. You didn’t know how many hands she’d kissed or threatened, how many secrets she’d buried. But she had gotten you here — one of the few young women selected to be considered for the hand of Duke Satoru Gojo.
And now, you would have to survive it.
The silence in the carriage was heavy — the kind that pressed against your ribs and made your thoughts feel too loud.
Your mother sat across from you, spine perfectly straight despite the uneven road. Her gloved hands rested in her lap, unmoving. Not a single strand of hair had escaped the smooth roll pinned at the base of her neck. She was composed, as always — the picture of control.
“You will remember what I taught you.” She said at last, not looking at you.
It wasn’t a question.
You nodded once. “Yes, Mother.”
Her gaze shifted to the window. “You must make yourself indispensable. But never too eager. You must appear grateful, but never desperate. If he suspects you want him—truly want him—it’s over.”
You said nothing.
A moment passed.
“You can’t ruin this.”
The words sat between you like an accusation. You turned your face toward the glass, watching the pale towers grow taller with every passing second. “What did you promise?”
Your mother’s jaw tightened.
“Nothing we can’t survive.” She said. “If you do well.”
You looked at her again then — really looked. There was something steely beneath her calm, something like exhaustion pressed behind her eyes. You wondered how many letters she had written. How many names she’d begged from. How many favors she’d burned to ash.
The silence returned. But you were used to it by now. In fact, you preferred it this way.
The carriage slowed.
The pale stone of the palace shimmered like a mirage — all towering columns and gleaming spires, its windows catching the sunlight like shards of cut glass. It didn’t look real. It looked like something out of a storybook, the kind your governess used to read aloud when you were small — back when your family still had a governess. Still had servants. Still had status.
Even the front yard — if it could be called that — was larger than your entire estate. Wide marble steps unfolded like a stage. Fountains danced in the sunlight as if they existed for no other purpose than to sparkle.
It was beautiful.
It was obscene.
And you were expected to belong here.
Your heart beat once. Then again, harder.
Still, your hands remained folded neatly in your lap. Your posture was perfect. Your face, serene.
Outside, servants moved with mechanical precision — polished boots striking stone in perfect cadence, crisp uniforms, faces impassive. No one looked at the carriage. And yet, you felt it. The watching.
This place had eyes. You could feel them the moment the wheels touched the marble drive — silent, faceless, everywhere.
Don’t show it. You told yourself. Not the awe. Not the fear. Not the ache in your chest that felt dangerously close to hope.
“Chin up.” Your mother said as the carriage door clicked open. Her voice was calm — too calm. The kind that disguised sharp edges.
She stepped out first, her movements elegant, unhurried. Then, with a gloved hand, she offered you help — not as a gesture of affection, but of precision. Ceremony. As expected.
You took it.
The breeze greeted you at once, cool and perfumed with something you couldn’t name — roses, maybe, or lavender crushed under carriage wheels. It brushed your face like a caress, but there was no comfort in it. Only the sharp reminder that you were no longer home.
Some of the servants nearby rushed forward to collect the luggage, moving with quiet efficiency, as if every step had been rehearsed. Then, a tall young woman approached — graceful and composed, each movement deliberate.
She had long black hair pulled back in a smooth coil, lashes dark as ink, and cheekbones so finely sculpted they gave her the air of something painted, not born.
“Ladies.” She said, bowing her head with effortless poise. Her voice was smooth, practiced. “I am Ysera. I’ll be attending you throughout your stay at the palace. If you would follow me?”
You tried to match her composure, straightening your spine just slightly. But something inside you twisted — not from fear exactly, but from the quiet, rising suspicion that even the palace’s servants were more prepared for this world than you were.
The moment you stepped inside, the air changed.
It was cooler here, like the walls had been holding their breath for centuries. The floors gleamed with such care that your reflection shimmered faintly beneath your feet. Tapestries the height of trees draped the walls, woven with gold thread and scenes you didn’t recognize. Stained glass windows filtered the sunlight into soft pools of blue, red, and purple that danced across the marble.
You had never seen anything so opulent. Or so quiet.
The corridor stretched endlessly before you. Every step felt too loud. You kept your chin up, your gaze steady, but your throat had gone dry.
Ysera walked ahead, graceful and unhurried. Your mother followed as if she belonged here — as if she’d done this before. Only you seemed to feel the weight pressing down from the ceiling itself, from the velvet silence, from the history threaded into every stone.
You tried not to stare too long at the grandeur around you. You couldn’t afford to be caught in awe. You were supposed to be used to this — supposed to belong among the gold and glass.
“You are to rest for now.” Ysera said as she led you down the hallway. “The banquet will be served at six. Please be prepared—Her Grace, Lady Midora Gojo, and His Grace, Lord Satoru Gojo, will see you there.”
You weren’t sure which name made your stomach twist more.
Ysera stopped before a tall white door and turned the handle with a graceful twist of her wrist.
“This is your room.”
You stepped forward — then froze.
It was a vision in blue and gold.
Sunlight poured through gauzy curtains, casting a soft glow over the white walls and spilled across an intricate carpet underfoot. The bed looked like something out of a painting: large enough to drown in, dressed in rich blue velvet and trimmed with golden tassels. Matching chairs stood beside a tall window. The room glowed with quiet warmth, like it had been prepared with care — not just for a guest, but for someone meant to be seen.
Your mother moved to enter behind you, but Ysera lifted a hand—polite, firm, immovable.
“I’m sorry, my lady.” She said. “This chamber is for your daughter alone. Don’t worry—your quarters are just as refined.”
Your mother’s lips thinned, but she said nothing.
You knew her well enough to recognize the displeasure in her silence. She didn’t like the idea of you being alone — not now, not in a place like this, where everything mattered and everything could be lost. But still, you couldn’t help the quiet relief that bloomed in your chest. For a few hours, at least, you would be able to breathe without being corrected. You could sleep without being jolted awake for sleeping in an improper position.
“Good evening, Mother. I hope you rest well.” You said, offering your most delicate smile — the one you’d practiced a hundred times in the mirror. “And thank you, Ysera.”
“I will return to escort you to the banquet hall, my lady.” Ysera replied, bowing with elegant precision before closing the door behind her with a soft, final click.
Silence.
Your knees wobbled. You reached for the edge of the bed, fingers curling into the thick velvet for balance.
Your mind spiraled — how were you supposed to become a Duchess when you could barely breathe in a place like this? How were you meant to impress a man whose palace made your childhood home look like the servant’s quarters? How could you ever convince a family like his that you belonged here?
The fear crept in slowly. Then all at once.
But you swallowed it, like you always did.
Because there was no room for doubt now.
You had to be perfect.
—
You couldn’t rest. Not even for a moment.
Lying in the enormous bed, you stared up at the blue and gold panels carved into the ceiling, your fingers drifting across the velvet sheets like they belonged to someone else. This wasn’t just a room — it was a throne disguised as a chamber, built for people born into power, not for girls like you, who had to be trained to imitate it.
The thoughts hadn’t stopped since the door clicked shut.
What would you do if he didn’t choose you? How would you face your mother then — look her in the eye after everything she’d risked?
Were the other pretenders just as close to breaking as you?
And the Duke… how did he look?
Not that it mattered. It wasn’t his face that would decide your future. It was his choice.
And it had never really been yours.
You kept repeating it in your head like a prayer — the way to walk, the right tone to speak in, how much to laugh, how little to eat, the exact pressure to hold a glass without showing a shake. Over and over. Again and again.
The walls felt like they were pressing in, gilded edges turning into a cage. Every breath you took felt shallow, like the air itself was too fine for your lungs. You knew this wasn’t how you were supposed to behave — a lady didn’t wander, didn’t drift unsupervised through a Duke’s palace like a restless ghost. But you needed air. Just a moment of it. Something real.
You stood by the door, frozen.
What if someone caught you? What if the Duke’s mother — Lady Gojo — heard of it? What if this single choice undid everything your mother had schemed to build? Your hands were cold, slick with nerves. But the thought of staying — of lying back on those sheets and letting the silence close in around you — felt worse. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think. You had to move.
You remembered a door you’d passed earlier, tucked between gilded columns and half-shadowed tapestries — it had looked like it led to the garden. You hoped you were right.
With fingers trembling against silk skirts, you stepped out of your room. The hall beyond was quiet. Too quiet.
Your mother would skin you alive if she found out. But with any luck, she was already resting. Or pretending to.
Your shoes made no sound on the polished floor as you walked, heart hammering with every step. A pair of servants passed — expressionless, dressed in silver and navy — and though their eyes slid to you, they said nothing. Just a bow of the head. Polite. Dismissive.
You found the door. Tall. Glass-paneled. Cool to the touch.
You pushed it open.
And breathed.
The garden unfolded like something from a dream — all sculpted hedges and marble fountains, arching roses and soft grass that looked too delicate to walk on. The scent of jasmine hung in the air, faint and heady. Lanterns glowed in the distance like fireflies caught mid-flight.
You had never seen anything so beautiful.
A light breeze played with your hair as you walked, catching at the loose strands and brushing cool against your cheeks. For the first time since arriving, you felt something close to peace — fragile, fleeting, but real. The distant sound of water trickling from a fountain filled the silence without demanding anything from you.
Then, you stopped.
A bush of blue flowers caught your eye — their color so vivid, it hardly seemed real. Not sapphire. Not cornflower. Something deeper, stranger, like the sky just before a storm or the pigment of a dream you couldn’t quite name. It was a shade you didn’t know flowers could be — not in books, not in gardens, not in anything meant to bloom.
You knelt, skirts folding beneath you, fingers hovering just above the petals. There was something sacred in the way they bent with the breeze — not broken, not fragile, only reverent. Your hand trembled slightly as you reached out, not quite touching. As if afraid contact would wake you from whatever this was.
They looked too beautiful to be allowed. And yet they bowed gently toward your palm, like they were the ones drawn to you.
“Are you lost?”
The voice cut through the quiet — warm, unhurried, and far too close.
You startled.
Spine snapping straight, you turned so quickly your hand brushed the petals. The flowers trembled — or maybe it was you.
There he was.
A tall man with silver-white hair, his skin pale and glowing faintly in the evening light. And his eyes — blue, yes, but nothing like the flowers. His eyes were unreal. Too vivid. Too piercing. Like they didn’t belong to this world.
He wasn’t dressed like a servant. His shirt sleeves were rolled to the elbows, and he wore no coat, but there was an ease to the way he stood — like he belonged here more than anyone.
You stood quickly, smoothing your dress. “I’m so sorry, sir.” You said, breathless. “I only came to get some fresh air.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.
“Lady Midora doesn’t like people picking her flowers.”
You froze. His voice sent a chill down your spine. And then you noticed — the way he’d called Duchess Gojo only by her first name.
Panic tightened in your chest. You couldn’t get in trouble on your first day in the palace.
“I—I wasn’t going to pick them.” You stammered, cursing yourself. “I’m really sorry. I just meant to—”
Your words caught in your throat as he stepped closer, reaching past you. His hand moved with quiet ease as he plucked one of the vibrant blooms from the bush behind you.
“But she’ll forgive me.” He said simply, offering it to you with a faint smile. “Eventually.”
You hesitated before taking the flower. His fingers brushed yours — just for a second — and something in your stomach twisted in response.
“Thank you.” You said uncertainly.
He only nodded, studying you with quiet curiosity.
“You’re not from the capital.” Not a question, but a fact.
You swallowed. “No, I’m not.”
“So what brings you here?”
You let your fingers trace the petals, trying to mask the thudding of your heart.
“I’m here for the banquet.” you said quickly. “Just a guest.”
“A guest.” he echoed, the corner of his mouth lifting like the word struck him as unexpected.
There was something about him — the way he stood, so relaxed, so confident — like no one had ever told him to be quiet or careful in his entire life.
You took a breath. “May I ask who you are, sir?” You asked carefully, trying not to look directly into his eyes.
“Same as you.” He said. “Just a guest.”
The tension in your chest loosened just slightly. He was clearly someone important, but if he wasn’t part of the Gojo household… you could breathe a little easier.
“Oh. I see.” You glanced down, your grip tightening around the flower. “The garden was so beautiful, I just had to see it for myself. I hope Duchess Gojo won’t be too upset.”
“She won’t, if she doesn’t find out.”
You let out a small laugh, hiding your smile behind your free hand.
“Well… I hope she doesn’t, then.”
“I won’t tell.” He said, already turning toward one of the marble fountains nearby. “If you don’t tell I’m here either.”
“Your secret is safe, sir.” You replied.
And when he walked, you followed.
His steps were slow but deliberate, hands clasped behind his back, like your presence was a detail, not a disruption. He moved with a kind of ease — not arrogant, exactly, but far from the stiff grace you’d been trained to recognize in noblemen.
And just when you thought the silence might stretch forever—
“Do you think he’ll choose you?” He asked, casually — like commenting on the weather, eyes still fixed on the marble fountain ahead.
You blinked. “What?”
“The Duke.” He clarified. “You’re here as one of the pretenders, aren’t you?”
Your step faltered.
He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, a faint smile ghosting across his lips — but his voice had dropped lower now.
“Do you think he’ll choose you?”
The question landed softly — but it echoed through your ribs like a bell. You turned to him, uncertain if you’d heard him correctly. But he was watching the water.
You opened your mouth, then closed it again.
“I… I wouldn’t know.” You said at last, the words careful, almost measured. “I haven’t even met him. Or the other girls.”
He tilted his head, studying you.
“I imagine they were trained as well as you.” He said, leaning against the fountain’s edge. “They know how to pretend they belong.”
“Would you blame us? It’s not like we have a choice.” The words slipped out — too fast, too real — and you winced. That wasn’t how you spoke. Not here. But something about him disarmed your careful rehearsals.
He smiled, faintly amused. “No blame. Don’t worry.”
He looked to the palace — the gold-trimmed walls glowing in the twilight. “This place swallows people.” He said. “It’s made to. Most who walk through those doors forget who they were before.”
“You speak like you’ve seen it happen.”
He shrugged, trailing his fingers through the fountain’s water. “I have.”
A beat passed. You moved closer, the flower in your hand was warm from your grip.
“Why did you ask me that?”
His eyes met yours. “Because you don’t seem like you’ve forgotten yet.”
You weren’t sure if it was a compliment. Or a warning. But it landed somewhere deep — like he saw something you weren’t sure you meant to show.
Then, more lightly, he added, “Or maybe I’m just trying to make conversation with the girl who wasn’t supposed to be in the garden.”
You huffed — almost a laugh — tension easing from your chest. “Well, you said you weren’t supposed to be here either. So I’d say we’re even.”
This time, it was your fingers brushing the water’s surface.
He didn’t speak at first. He just watched the motion of your hand — not rudely, not with the judgment you were used to. It was more like… curiosity. The kind that didn’t need answering.
“So,” he said at last, voice mellow, “do you make a habit of wandering into forbidden places?”
You glanced at him, arching an eyebrow. “Only when they’re beautiful.”
He smiled at that. Not the kind you’d expect — not polite, not rehearsed. It was crooked, almost boyish, like he hadn’t meant to let it out. “Dangerous answer.”
“Is it?” You challenged, resting your hands on the stone edge. “Or is it just honest?”
He tilted his head, regarding you again. “Honesty isn’t common here.” He said. “I can tell you are really not from the capital.”
“I didn’t think it was that obvious.” You murmured, glancing down.
“I didn't mean it in a bad way, trust me.”
You turned to him again, surprised by his tone. There was no mockery in it. If anything, he sounded almost wistful.
Then he glanced back at the water and said, lightly. “You know, when I was younger, I used to think there were tiny spirits living in fountains.”
You smiled. “Spirits?”
He nodded. “They’d whisper secrets to anyone brave enough to listen. I spent a whole summer trying to make them talk to me.”
“And did they?”
He leaned in slightly, stage-whispering. “Only once. But they had terrible advice.”
You laughed, and it came out too loud — real, surprised. You covered your mouth again, embarrassed.
But he just looked pleased.
He grinned. “They told me to cut all my hair off. I did. My mother nearly banished me to the mountains.”
“You can’t be real!” You said, still trying — and failing — to hold your laugh.
“I mean it!” He insisted, mock-offended. “She was furious, and I was completely frustrated — the tiny spirits conspired against me.”
You gave him a look — amused, curious, surprised at yourself. He wasn't afraid to say what he wanted, like you always were.
“What about you?” You asked. “You’re a guest… you said?”
Where was this curiosity coming from? You never let yourself speak so freely — but your spine wasn’t so straight now, your voice not so careful. Around him, it was like remembering how to breathe.
“I did say that.”
“But that’s not all, I presume.”
“Isn’t it?” His smile sharpened, eyes glittering. “I’m not lying.”
“No. But you’re not telling everything, either.”
“I’m always more sincere before breakfast.” He said with a grin. “After that, I tend to talk between the lines and hang around gardens hoping someone interesting loses their way.”
It took you a moment to register what he’d said — and when you did, the corners of your mouth betrayed you. A smile, quick and involuntary, slipped out before you could hide it.
As you part your lips to answer him, something shifts in the sky — a single star, then another. Your heart skips a beat.
“Oh dear lord — I’m going to be late!” You breathe, panic clutching your ribs like a corset drawn too tight. You hadn’t even noticed the time passing.
You were supposed to be ready by now. Your gown — laid out across your bed, untouched. Your hair — had the pins held through your aimless wandering? Had the curls fallen? And your shoes — dusty now from the garden paths, the fine leather smudged with soil and crushed petals.
You turn on your heel, but your body refuses to move as quickly as your thoughts. Your feet, suddenly heavy, hesitate on the garden path like they knew something your mind hadn’t admitted yet.
You didn’t want to leave.
How could you? The garden had been the only place you’d felt peace in a long time. Your breath was easier, your voice your own. The quiet here had soothed you, wrapped around your shoulders more gently than silk ever could. And maybe it wasn’t just the garden.
Maybe it was the man beside the fountain.
You look back.
He hasn’t moved. Still by the fountain, the water now glowing silver beneath the deepening twilight. His expression is unreadable — but he’s still watching you.
“Go.” He says softly, almost teasing. “I’ll see you around.”
The words warmed something under your skin. Ridiculous, maybe, how much you wanted to believe him. That this wouldn’t be the last time.
But you lingered a moment longer anyway. Just one more breath. Just in case.
You walked back toward the palace, your steps quieter now, slower than urgency demanded. With each one, the garden slipped further behind you. The flickering lanterns. The scent of jasmine. The sound of trickling water.
But a part of you — maybe the most honest part — was still there, somewhere between the fountain and the blue flowers.
And you weren’t sure if it would follow you back.
—
You didn’t need help getting ready.
Not anymore.
Since your family’s fall, you had learned to pin your own hair, apply your own makeup, to fasten corset laces with aching arms and silent frustration. You had taught yourself to move with elegance, even when no one was watching. Especially then.
Tonight, all of that practice had paid off. You were ready on time.
You’d just finished polishing your shoes — a careful, obsessive effort to remove every speck of dirt from the soles — when three soft knocks came at your door.
“It is time, my lady.” Came Ysera’s voice, muffled through the heavy wood. The same servant who’d helped you and your mother settle in earlier.
You closed your eyes.
That was it.
The performance began now.
You turned to the mirror for a final glance. Your reflection stared back — composed, poised, unfamiliar. You adjusted a curl near your temple, tucking it neatly behind your ear. Then, slowly, you layered on the smile you had practiced for years: gentle, beautiful, convincing.
Perfect.
You reached for the golden handle and opened the door.
Ysera stood before you in her spotless uniform, her face calm, giving nothing away. Behind her was your mother — rigid, as always, her gaze slicing through you like glass.
Just looking at her made your stomach clench. You knew what she was thinking. You knew what was at stake. You knew how much she had gambled to bring you here.
And so, you locked your arm with hers. Chin lifted. Shoulders squared.
You would make this right.
Ysera turned and began to lead you down the corridor, your heels echoing against marble floors. You and your mother followed in silence, arms intertwined, your pace practiced, your steps too careful to be natural.
You wanted to notice the palace — to let yourself be awed by the arched ceilings, the embroidered tapestries, the decor. But your mind was somewhere else entirely. Trapped in your chest. Beating fast, too fast, as though your body already knew what you were walking into.
“You won’t have another chance.” Your mother whispered beside you.
“I will cherish this opportunity, Mother.”
She didn’t look at you. She hadn’t looked at you in a long time. Not really. Her gaze always seemed to move just past you — like you were an image she hadn’t fully decided to keep.
“This isn’t the pair of earrings I told you to wear.”
Your hand flew to your ear without thinking, brushing the tiny gold drops you’d chosen.
“You were supposed to wear the pearls. I told you twice.”
“I know.” You said, softly. “I forgot to bring them.”
She sighed. A short breath. Not angry. Just disappointed. And tired.
You were always tired around each other.
“Of course you did.”
You said nothing. There was nothing to say. You were already working so hard to hold yourself together, your smile strained at the edges, your spine starting to ache from how perfectly you were standing.
Ysera turned to you both, her voice gentle and practiced. “When you enter the hall, please sit immediately and do not speak until Her Grace, Lady Gojo, arrives. Do not interact with the others. Do not touch anything.”
You nodded. Your mother did the same.
Ysera stepped ahead and knocked on a tall, intricately carved white door.
It opened.
And for a moment, the world beyond it stole your breath.
The banquet hall was the largest room you had ever seen. The ceiling arched like a cathedral. Gilded columns stood in quiet rows along the walls, and between them, paintings — scenes of battles, saints, and heavenly skies — hung in golden frames as tall as you.
Statues stood like ghosts in the corners: marble maidens, a king holding a broken sword. Even the air smelled expensive — a blend of beeswax, rose oil, and something cool and sharp you couldn’t name.
But nothing — nothing — caught your attention like the table.
A single, enormous thing of polished mahogany, stretched the length of the room, set with silver platters and porcelain plates. Dozens of candles flickered in crystal holders, their flames casting shadows that danced across the glass. Every fork and knife was placed with precision, every napkin folded in identical perfection.
And around that table sat the other girls.
Three of them.
Each one more dazzling than the last.
Their dresses were made of the kind of fabric you’d only ever seen in paintings — silk that shimmered like water, lace so fine it looked like mist. Their jewelry sparkled with diamonds and pearls that didn’t catch the light — they commanded it. Their mothers sat beside them, regal and composed.
You had worn your finest gown. The one your mother had preserved from her younger years. You had tailored it yourself, adjusted the sleeves, stitched new embroidery along the hem.
You had thought it would be enough.
You were wrong.
They looked at you as you entered. All of them.
Not cruelly. Not even unkindly. Just… assessing. Like you were another item on the table, something to be weighed, compared, measured for worth.
And for the first time tonight, your smile nearly slipped.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself not to flinch under their eyes.
You had come this far.
You had to be perfect.
Even if it was already clear that perfection might not be enough.
The walk to your chair felt like a slow unraveling.
The stone floor echoed beneath your shoes, each step striking sharper than it should have. In the silence of the room, the sound was unkind — like you were announcing your presence when you would’ve rather disappeared.
No one spoke. Not even a polite murmur.
The three girls didn’t look at one another. They didn’t need to. The awareness in the room was a current — unseen, electric. You could feel it tightening around you with every step. You hadn’t even sat down yet, and already, you were being measured.
You wanted to look down.
But your mother’s voice echoed in your mind — firm, steady. “Head high. Chin soft. Never let them see where it hurts.”
So you did as she taught you. You lifted your gaze and let it drift, slow and deliberate, across the table.
Lady Taira.
Her silver gown shimmered like the moonlight. Every fold fell perfectly, not by accident — but because she’d been trained to make it seem accidental. Her wavy blonde hair had the kind of polish no brush could give without servants. And she sat like a statue — not stiff, but still. As if stillness was her natural state.
Your mother’s words came back to you, clipped and precise: “Baroness by title, but richer than half the dukes in the realm. Her family could buy land from the crown and not blink. She grew up in court — learned how to smile without warmth, and bow without bending. Watch her closely.”
Lady Vale.
She looked like something carved from ivory — soft, luminous, too pure to be real. Her dress shimmered like pearl dust, but her eyes… they gleamed. Curls were pinned atop her head, each one meticulous. She blinked slowly, almost too slowly.
“She’s the youngest, but don’t mistake that for innocence. Her family’s been loyal to the Gojo house for generations. Her father commanded the guard of the late Duke Gojo. She won’t make a scene — she’ll make allies. And she’ll do it quietly.”
And then — Condess Shinto.
There was no softness in her. Her eyes were green like shattered glass — beautiful, but not safe. She wore a dress the color of drying blood, velvet with a neckline like a blade. Around her throat sat a string of emeralds, polished to gleam like envy itself. She didn’t smile, not really. Not in any way that counted.
Your mother hadn’t even hesitated about her:
“She’s the favorite. Everyone knows it. Her uncle sits on the Council. Her cousins command fleets. She doesn’t have to try. The game is already rigged in her favor.”
You still remembered the day you found out a Condess — a woman with rank, wealth, and lineage — wasn’t the automatic choice for the Duke’s hand.
It had seemed impossible. If Condess Shinto wasn’t already chosen, then what were the rest of you doing here?
Even now, you didn’t have the answer.
They sat like portraits in a gallery — elegant, composed, untouchable.
You, by contrast, were a question mark. A curiosity.
A last-minute invitation.
A gamble made by a mother with nothing left but her name.
Still — you sat without flinching.
Lady Taira adjusted her glove with practiced indifference. Lady Vale blinked — slow, measured. Countess Shinto tapped one perfect nail against her glass, the sound sharp as judgment.
It was a game, all of it. And you were part of it, whether you liked it or not.
You were all pawns.
The only unfairness was that you were playing against perfection — girls raised for this moment, sculpted like marble into their roles. You told yourself you didn’t care. You told yourself you had no illusions. But sitting here, surrounded by them, it was hard not to feel the crushing weight of inadequacy.
Of course, you had been raised to be perfect too — taught the art of posture, of quiet obedience, of speaking only when spoken to. But as you looked around the table, at the glinting jewels, the practiced stillness, the effortless grace stitched into every gesture of the girls before you, you knew with aching certainty: you could never compare. Not to them. Not here. Not like this.
You had known, the moment you received the letter sealed with the Gojo crest, that this was far beyond you. You’d told yourself it was a formality. A courtesy. A trap, perhaps. But seeing them — the daughters of power and pedigree — was far more harrowing than any whispered rumor.
Your thoughts were scattered, tangled with tension, until—just for a flicker—you remembered the man in the garden.
The memory came soft at first: a breath of wind, the scent of crushed petals, the way the late sunlight caught the edge of his smile. He had seemed too unreal to belong to a place like this — and yet, in that moment, beside him, you had felt more yourself than you had in days. Maybe years.
Next to him, you had felt human.
Real.
Like you could belong in a place where flowers bloomed without permission and skies stretched wide and generous.
You barely caught yourself flushing, the ghost of that smile threatening to surface again.
And that’s when the door opened.
The great double doors at the far end of the hall parted without a single trumpet. Just the hush of wood and silk and breath. You turned delicately, instinctively, unsure of what you were expecting.
A woman entered — tall, composed, resplendent in restraint.
Duchess Midora Gojo.
You had heard the stories. Everyone had. That she’d ruled the Gojo estate with a blade sheathed in velvet. That she’d survived the fall of her husband without lowering her chin once. That she’d raised her son — the son — with wolves at the gate and knives at her back. And yet, no story prepared you for the sight of her.
She didn’t walk.
She arrived.
Her gown was navy, trimmed with gold — the kind of understated elegance that made more extravagant outfits look like theater costumes. The fabric shimmered subtly, embroidery catching only the softest hints of light. Her silver hair was braided into a crown, regal and exact. Not a single strand rebelled.
She did not smile.
She didn’t need to.
The Duchess moved to the head of the table, placed a single hand on the back of her chair — and stopped.
Without a word, every woman in the room stood. Including you.
You bowed your head, not out of respect but instinct. The atmosphere demanded it.
Her gaze swept the table slowly, like moonlight across still water. Calculated. Cold. Not unkind — but far from warm.
One heartbeat.
Two.
Then her eyes found you.
It wasn’t just looking. It was the weight of being seen — truly, unmistakably seen. Her gaze was cool, discerning, a quiet threat wrapped in curiosity.
You didn’t blink.
Couldn’t.
Something told you that blinking would count against you.
So you held her eyes. Just long enough to feel the tremor of challenge. Until she moved on.
“Good evening.”
The women answered in perfect harmony. Like a prayer they’d recited since birth.
The Duchess sat. The rest of you followed.
Silence lingered, thick and reverent, until she spoke again — voice smooth but sharp as drawn steel.
“Ladies,” She said “you are here because your families have placed great faith in you. As have I.”
Her tone left no room for uncertainty.
“Conduct yourselves with composure. I expect grace. Poise. This is a demonstration.”
She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t need to. Each word carried the weight of command — clean, final, unarguable.
“Each of you has been granted a seat. Whether you keep it,” She continued, her eyes gleaming with meaning, “depends on more than posture and pleasantries. The Duke will join us shortly.”
The mere mention of him was enough to set the air humming with tension. Some of the girls straightened in their chairs. Others held their breath.
The Duchess glanced toward the servants.
That was all it took.
They moved like clockwork — coordinated, efficient, silent. Wine was poured into crystal glasses. Platters were uncovered. Silverware gleamed. Aromas filled the air, rich and delicate. But no one relaxed. If anything, the tension only deepened. The ritual of dining had begun, and every movement now was a test.
You watched the girls — how they lifted forks with dainty precision, how they dabbed their lips, how they smiled just enough. Not too much. Never too much.
You mimicked them as best you could. Wrist poised. Chin tucked. Back unbending. You smiled when required. You didn’t breathe when you shouldn’t.
Across the table, Duchess Gojo engaged each mother in conversation — even yours. Her words weren’t warm, but they commanded. She dominated the room without trying. She didn’t need to try.
And then — it happened.
The door again.
You knew. Before you saw him. Before you heard a step.
The room didn’t just fall silent.
It held its breath.
You didn’t dare look. Looking would make it real. And part of you — the scared, unready part — didn’t want it to be real just yet.
There was no announcement.
No flourish.
No grand entrance.
Just the sound of footsteps.
Measured. Casual. Unhurried.
He moved through the room like the air adjusted for him. Like the space recognized who it belonged to. Like the walls bent slightly to accommodate his presence.
He took the seat beside the Duchess.
And your heart dropped.
No.
It couldn’t be.
But it was.
The man from the garden. The stranger who had spoken to you like you mattered. Who had watched you reach for flowers like it was allowed. Who had made you laugh like it was safe.
You hadn’t just ruined everything.
You’d ruined it before it had even begun.
He was dressed now in formal regalia — a coat of midnight blue, its collar open with defiant elegance. Silver embroidery twisted along his sleeves like vines. A ceremonial sword hung at his hip, glinting softly. At his throat, the Gojo crest, a six-petaled flower.
He didn’t hurry.
Didn’t bow. Didn’t acknowledge.
And worst of all — he didn’t look at you.
Not even once.
Not a flicker of recognition.
Not even the smallest glance.
You looked down at your plate, fists clenched tight in your lap.
And still, your hands trembled.
You took a sip from your wine, careful not to gulp — though part of you wanted nothing more than to drain the whole glass and ask for another. You tried to look composed, as the Duchess demanded. Composed, like every other girl at the table seemed born to be.
But your chest was too tight. Your throat too dry.
You could only hope this was some cruel dream.
At first, you thought he wouldn’t speak — that he’d sit through the evening like a shadow cast by his mother’s presence. But then, quietly, effortlessly, he stood.
He did not need to raise his voice.
“Thank you all for coming.” He said, his posture relaxed but his tone exact. “My mother — Her Grace, Duchess Gojo — and I are pleased that your families have placed their trust in our name.”
It was him. You knew it. You would always know him by those eyes. But nothing else was the same.
The warmth was gone.
“This banquet.” He continued. “is simply a gesture of our appreciation.”
A lie — all of you knew that. Every girl seated here knew this was no simple dinner.
“I look forward to getting to know each of you in due time.”
And then — he smiled.
Not the off-kilter, boyish grin that had slipped free in the garden. No. This smile was sculpted. Beautiful. Practiced. The kind of smile that could win favor, or undo alliances, depending on where it was aimed.
His gaze moved from girl to girl — smooth, precise, unrevealing.
And when it landed on you, it did not soften.
It did not linger.
It did not recognize you.
Not truly.
And that, somehow, hurt more than if he hadn’t looked at you at all.
You held the eye contact because you had to. Because the rules of the room demanded it.
But inside, something cold was settling in your ribs — the slow realization that the man in the garden may never have existed at all.
Because standing before you now wasn’t him.
It was the Duke — Satoru Gojo. And there was no room in his eyes for who you’d been, or what you thought you’d shared.

#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo smut#strangers to lovers#renaissance au#historical au#slow burn#jjk x you#jjk#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you
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