#Mario Commentary

[pianokantzart]

YES! GOOD! I’m going to just going to analyze the whole dinner scene, because it’s one of my favorite parts of the movie. 

Mario and Luigi walk in, and immediately the whole room lights up to greet them. Despite everything that follows, one thing is clear: The Mario Brothers are happy to see their family, and the family is happy to see them. 

The whole family confirms that they watched their commercial. Everyone except their mom insists the commercial was a bad idea, but the fact that they all watched it speaks to the fact that there is no indifference regarding Mario and Luigi’s dream. They’re eager to see where this endeavor leads, even if they think it’s going to end in failure. 

The moment Mario and Luigi sit down at the table, their uncles begin laying into them like it’s open season on financially struggling plumbers. Just full blown, no-holds-barred roast mode on their nephews.

Mario is on the defensive, but he doesn’t get angry, he’s just trying to argue his side. Clearly this is typical behavior for Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur. They’re loud, overly honest, and obnoxiously confident in their opinions. Uncle Arthur, thankfully, has his wife to keep him in check. Uncle Tony, however, who is seated next to poor Luigi, is an absolute menace.

Luigi ignores all the teasing. He is only interested in getting food, but this is not an easy task. Tony’s verbal arguments are all directed at Mario, but Luigi is the one who gets prodded and shoved around, and that makes getting dinner next to impossible.

Luigi attempts to serve himself salad, attempts to ask for a roll, attempts to eat the mushrooms being put on his plate, and at every turn he’s either pushed away or talked over. He is clearly very soft spoken compared to the other men in his family, and never quite had the strength to stand up for himself... after all, everyone means well, they just lack self awareness. It isn’t worth the fight. 

Thankfully, Luigi’s mom comes to the rescue, and puts a bowl of soup in front of her boy. She’s the queen of the caretaker role, making sure all the loose ends are tied up and that everybody eats.

But on the flip side, it’s interesting to note that once the uncles start tearing into Mario, Mario’s Dad serves him up a plate of food. He may have just been serving the person next to him because that was the polite thing to do, but I have a theory...

I think that this wasn’t the first night that Mario and his uncles went at each other. I think Mario’s Dad read the room, and figured that if Mario was going to spend dinner playing defense, he should at least remember to eat while doing so.

It also speaks volumes that Mario’s Dad doesn’t voice his disapproval until Mario asks for his opinion. Before then he avoids the subject and lets everyone else do the talking, but so long as he’s being questioned directly, he can’t help but be honest.

“I think... you’re nuts. You don’t quit a steady job for some crazy dream.” This sounds like a voice of experience. Mario’s Dad has the figure of someone who has worked physical labor for a good portion of his life (look the size of those arms). He may have had dreams of his own when he was younger, but he had a wife and kids to worry about, and family took priority. 

Speaking of family taking priority: “... and the worst part? You’re bringing your brother down with you.” That settles it. The conversation has gone from a casual roast session to dead serious. The entire room falls quiet as Mario puts down his fork and storms off. 

“What’d I say?” Everybody at the table (except the niece, she’s long since checked out) gives Mario’s Dad different versions of the look™. Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur have the same “Jesus Christ bro, you didn’t have to go there” expression, and Luigi just looks hurt on Mario’s behalf. His Dad, however, is just confused.  

He didn’t get the gravity of what he said. His relationship with his own brothers– loudmouthed schmucks who call their own shots – is completely alien to what Luigi and Mario have. He probably knows Mario is protective of Luigi, but he doesn’t realize the depth of responsibility Mario feels for him. Anyone can see that Luigi is loyal to his brother, but Mario alone knows how loyal he is, and the implication that he’s betraying that loyalty is intensely painful. 

I doubt Uncle Arthur and Uncle Tony truly relate to Mario and Luigi’s relationship either, but they’ve probably teased Mario enough to understand one thing: bringing Luigi into it is a line you do not cross.

Conclusion:

There is a lot of love in the Mario family.

Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur are definitely the most insufferable of the bunch, but there is no malice in their teasing. While they are brash and overbearing, it’s all in good fun, and they get visibly uncomfortable when things go too far and someone actually ends up hurt. 

Luigi seems to take after his mother; kind, nonconfrontational, and happily invested in a supporting role. While his Mom cares for and assists the family, Luigi cares for and assists his brother, both emotionally and in his business ventures.

Mario, in the meantime, takes after his Dad, who appears to be the oldest of the three brothers. He doesn’t always think before speaking, but he isn’t constantly running his mouth like Arthur or Tony, and acts with the gravity of someone who bears a lot of responsibility. He doesn’t quite “get” his sons, but he knows enough to see that Luigi follows his brother everywhere, and Mario does not always think before jumping into things. Despite what Mario may believe, his Dad doesn’t see him as a “joke” so much as he sees him as an impulsive young man who doesn’t grasp the consequences of his actions. But Mario does understand the consequences of his actions, he just dreams big, and... thanks to Luigi... actually has the support he needs to pursue those dreams. 

[pianokantzart]

OKAY HERE WE GO! Luigi showing his love for his brother through little domestic responsibilities such as bringing Mario food and coffee is my jam. Luigi being more cautious and organized and focused on the little slice-of-life details in such a way that Mario is better able to function as a whole is so good. And it seems like Luigi doesn't just help out with making sure his brother eats, but also takes charge of little jobs that Mario might deem mind numbing/boring, like keeping track of the tools, managing their phone calls, and keeping things clean.

And then there's the game canons! He is shown doing the laundry in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga:

He does a lot of home DIY and cooks meals in Paper Mario:

And then there's Luigi's Mansion, where multiple bits of dialogue implies Luigi is the one who keeps his and Mario's home neat and tidy, (credit to @radondoran for the collection of quotes: X)

So much dust! This will never pass the white-glove test!

I wish I had time to straighten this mess up a bit…

Now honestly, when it comes to hats, they really must be hand washed. There’s simply no substitute. I know my brother likes to put his through the washing machine, but that just seems careless to me…

It also hints that Luigi knows how to take care of plants, so I'm willing to bet he does some gardening too to keep the outside of their home as well tended as the inside.

Hey, it’s flower season, isn’t it? I almost forgot!

(looking at a potted plant) No one's watered this in a long time... How very sad.

On that note, compare the two brothers' hotel rooms in Luigi's Mansion Three:

Luigi's room is clean, everything in it's place. The covers are smoothed and his suitcase is placed at the foot of his bed, closed up and emptied of only the evening's essentials.

Then there's Mario's room:

An implied struggle excuses the knocked over furniture and the pillows flung about, but otherwise it seems Mario had ordered a bunch of fast food, left out his garbage, and messily emptied his entire suitcase in such a way that its contents ended up scattered all across the floor. Mario is a big-picture sort of guy, highly driven and impulsive. He's kind and brave, but he doesn't always think things through 100% or keep close track of what he's doing. That's where Luigi comes in. He thinks things through a little too much– hence his anxiety– but as a result he tends to important little details that would otherwise slip under his older brother's radar. Mario takes the lead and makes sure Luigi's safe and happy when they're out on adventures, but Luigi is the one who keeps everything comfortable and functional outside of the fight.

Luigi taking care of Mario

One of the many things I love about how Luigi and his relationship with Mario besides how physically affectionate and loving they are towards each other (I think we all know my thoughts on that 😆) is in the little ways he takes care of Mario.

Mario takes care of Luigi by protecting him as big brothers often do, but Luigi’s are in the moments where he brings Mario food after the dinner scene (something he did to make Mario feel better, cuz comfort food), and at the end of the movie where he brings him coffee in the morning.

It’s why I say that he channels that a lot of that from his mother. She’s such a positive influence on his life that he naturally wants to do the same thing towards the other most important person in his life. He wants to be there for his brother, show him how much he loves him and the way he best feels that he can is by channeling his mother influence by cooking, bring Mario things and just being emotionally supportive.

@pianokantzart @multicolour-ink @the-brucest-fan @jell-o101 @roscolate Thoughts my lovely muts?

[dailyish-mario-hugo]

Mario Hugo but he's just a dog

* day 49

[darkwingsnark]

“Well, Luigi IS riding Bowser. Just not how he expected.” - @swampy-tiefling

[novirp13]

CHOCTOPUS putting Spongebob meme on Shadow's 'serious journey' is SO dang funny, I have to draw a quick fanart out of it

Gosh the imagery :'D

Minute 30:04

[pianokantzart]

Honestly, if this movie was anything other than a colorful adventure film aimed at families with young children, Luigi would have been SO doomed by the narrative.

Look at all of this forshadowing

:)))

[megidoreyn]

「僕は君と一緒に 今日の安寧が明日も続く世界を創るのだ…」 「A world where peace lasts forever…」

Drawn for the megaten ワンドロ/60min on 11/28. 💙twitter 💙misskey

[lizardinkart]

My beloved partner is making me watch the Amazing Digital Circus, and unfortunately, having worked in 3D on my way to my degree, I have been screaming at Netflix for the last 30 minutes about overlighting and overdesigning backgrounds for complicated multi-colored characters, overanimating (WHY ARE THE TEETH MOVING LIKE LIPS?!?!?), and just not hitting plot or comedy points in the flow they needed to really sell me on the show. I appreciated what it was going for but it made me insane that they were this close to something really good and technically amazing (they have the chops for it, obviously, holy shit this takes skill) and didn’t stick that landing in some crucial ways for me.

And now I’m watching episode 2 (because it has been demanded of me lol) and I am about to cry because the background has more affinity and the correct amount of contrast with the subjects of the scene, the animation feels more motivated/purposeful, jokes are timed better, the eerie undertones actually FEEL eerie, overall an 11/10 improvement that really makes me wish they had reworked the pilot some more before it went to Netflix. I’m still on the fence overall but I’m proud of the team working on it for how much work they’ve put in, and it shows how much they’ve learned about how to do what they love doing at a higher level between episodes.

[pianokantzart]

How do you feel about DK? (either in general or his relationship w/ Mario)

I just generally think DK's hilarious.

He's the best fighter in his kingdom to the point that he's hailed as a celebrity, and yet he is so fantastically bitter about the fact that he got his ass kicked by a tiny inexperienced man in overalls. Which, frankly, is his own darn fault for being too self confident to use powerups during the fight.

Meanwhile Mario's just... existing. He doesn't even care much that he beat DK, to him it was merely a stepping stone to reach his brother. Mario is just like "good game" and goes out of his way to be nothing but nice, while the entire time the gorilla is FUMING. He desperately wants round two.

I also like the fact that they didn't really bond over any deep conversation or their shared daddy issues, but instead reached a mutual understanding by fighting a common enemy. It gives me hope that Mario and DK will maintain a frenemy vibe in the future, because the way they rub each other the wrong way is so legitimately funny.

On a side note... I also like how friendly DK was to Luigi after first meeting him? Like that accidentally-aggressive elbow nudge when Bowser got put into the jar.

It was a short interaction, but it gave me major "frat boy who makes sure the anxious kid feels included" vibes.

[chronicsheepdrawing]

The little flower guys are delightful.

[shipcestuous]

Grand Jete (2022 - m/s) (submission)

Hey Shipcestuous. ShipCestFan here. Thank you for posting The Surgeon.

I see Grand Jete on the m/s canon list but didn’t see any additional info. I know an anon just very recently mentioned it, and I can tell you it stands up there as my top m/s cestship movie. I don’t remember where I watched and purchased it, sorry. Looks to only be available (legally) on Youtube, now.

Grand Jete is a 2022 German film in German language, but it does exist with decently translated English subtitles. From best I can surmise, the film centers around Nadja, a professional ballet artist seemingly in her mids-30 to early 40s. Nadja is world-renowned and lives with her boyfriend in Berlin. She has decided to finally pay a visit to her mother after not seeing her since Nadja left home as a teen for her career. Nadja’s hometown where her mother lives and Nadja grew up is a small town outside of the big city.

It also seems that Nadja got unexpectedly pregnant as a young woman (teen?) and had given birth to a son, Mario. But she left him in the care of his grandmother – her mom – in order for her to continue to pursue a career in ballet. Twenty-some years later, and Nadja is back, visiting and meets her 20-something son for the first time. There is an instant attraction.

Nadja begins spending more and more time at her mother’s house in the small town. Mother and son begin spending more time together, and Mario takes his mom out to hang with him at raves and performance theater – the latter being an x-rated one in which Mario is starring and mom has a front row seat!

Eventually, mother and son come together with Nadja unable to resist her hunky son and making the first movie. This opens the floodgates and the pair move into a very sexual cestship. I imagine, for Nadja, it’s like meeting a handsome stranger since she does not really know her son at all. Still… the knowledge is there for both of them that they are biologically related, and yet, they seem to move forward with no guilt or remorse.

The two begin behaving like boyfriend and girlfriend much to grandma’s displeasure. But their love for each other is too strong, so Nadja kicks her boyfriend out of their flat in Berlin, and her son moves in with her. Alone and untethered from suspicious eyes, mother and son move into an unbridled sexual relationship that even has hints of sub/dom in one scene (at his instructions, mom eats food scraps out of her son’s hand like a dog).

Mother and son seem very happy together, especially Nadja. As we near the end of the film, we see her throwing up constantly, and the viewer initially suspects she’s regressed to her history of bulimia (established earlier). But we soon learn that she is pregnant. The film ends with Nadja nursing her newborn, and Mario shopping for juice boxes. Awww.

The International Cinephile Society’s review of this film summarized it as “a hypnotic deconstruction of the human psyche”. And I have to agree. We slowly watch Nadja and her son go from strangers to mother and son before watching them then morph into lovers, husband and wife and ultimately… a mother and father to their newborn. All of it done seemingly without even the slightest hint of concern or remorse on either mother or son’s part. And for this shipper, I found that refreshing!

Whether this ending can be considered a happy ending is probably wholly dependent on how one views cestships, inbreeding, etc. But I found it refreshing to see that 1) grandma came around, 2) boyfriend left, 3) no one died, 4) no one underage was abused, 5) no one was coerced, 6) mother and son decide to proceed forth and (seemingly) live as husband and wife, as well as, new parents.

I really liked Director Isabelle Stever’s commentary on her movie. IMDB quotes her as saying, “I wanted to shoot the sex scenes in such a way that they are not erotic, but sensual. The novel says they explore each other. The first scene in the bathroom is almost like an investigation. I wanted a visuality that would show them coming together and at the same time rolling off each other, a coming together in a poetic space. A mother asking her son to do homework while jerking him off has a strong irony. I wanted to show this scene in such a way that this irony is not in the foreground.”

Me, personally, I would give this film a positive incest award. But your followers should try to find the film, watch it and judge for themselves. Here are a few GIFs from the film.

--

Wow, I had no idea things ended in such a way, with them still together, with a child. Really remarkable. WOW. Thank you so much for the detailed description and for the gifs!!!! What a treat.

Gonna put the not safe for work images below the cut. I’m hoping they won’t get flagged. I think they’re OK?

[teegeewrites]

Monster

Monster

Synopsis: Bowser is up to his old tricks again! Bowser has once again captured Princess Peach and whisked her off to his lair. Mario sets off on what he assumes will be a typical rescue mission. However, upon reaching Bowser’s castle, he soon discovers that this adventure is anything but typical. In a shocking twist, Bowser pulls a stunt so outrageous that it forces Mario to contemplate whether it’s time to finally put an end to the Koopa King’s reign.

This was a rather interesting story to write. It’s a far cry from my other stories, which emphasize lighthearted friendships and romance. This one is more serious and focuses on drama and moral dilemmas.

The idea for this story was so rooted in my head that the only way for it to bloom was to write it out. The basic plot is Mario sets out to rescue Peach from Bowser’s clutches again. However, upon reaching Bowser’s castle, he learns that not only is Bowser holding Peach hostage, but he has also imprisoned Luigi. Things are already bad enough for Mario; however, Bowser has a surprise for him that makes everything worse. He forces Mario to choose between Luigi and Peach regarding whose life he wishes to save, while the one he doesn’t is certain to meet a fiery demise courtesy of the lava pits beneath them. Mario is overwhelmed because they are the two most important people in his life and doesn’t want to lose either of them. Both Peach and Luigi willing to sacrifice themselves in order to spare the other doesn’t help matters either. Nonetheless, both survived the harrowing ordeal relatively unharmed. Mario, however, becomes enraged to the point where he asks Luigi to escort Peach back to the Mushroom Kingdom while he hunts the Koopa King down with the intent of making him pay for his nefarious stunt.

One of the things I did to drive home the gravity of the situation was to place Peach in actual danger. One headcanon I have, and one that may be true in the original material, is that Bowser does not physically harm Peach while she is his prisoner. The worst he’ll do is grab her too tightly when abducting her. This is something Mario also considers while deciding who to save. Here, he chose to save Luigi since Peach has a better chance of surviving the fall due to her float ability. In this case, however, Peach nearly plummets into the lava pit after falling from her cage and her ability not lasting long enough to guide her to safety. Fortunately, Mario caught her before she fell in and was able to pull to her safety with some help from Luigi. The fact that Bowser wasn’t bluffing regarding Peach’s life being at risk was the thing that really set him off.

Another theme I wanted to focus on was the aforementioned moral dilemma. After a long, hard fight, Mario is in a position to finish Bowser once and for all. However, Peach and Luigi return to Bowser’s castle and, though it took some strong persuasion – mostly from Peach, prevented Mario from doing so. Mario realized that he was acting out of anger and that although Bowser has shown himself to be a monster on both the outside and inside, taking Bowser’s life in his state of mind may have turned him into one as well. It makes for a great discussion; in fact, I had a great one with a guest who left a comment talking about this very thing. In the end, not everything is black and white; some things are a shade of gray.

Overall, I can say that I’m proud of this one. However, unless there’s a scenario that I can think of that motivates me to do so, I most likely won’t write any more stories like this. It was hard putting my favorite characters in situations like these, but it was necessary to do so for this story.

[brokendreamscreation]

//Chatting with @themosthatedbeingg about our spontaneous Lil Noodle Twins adventure and a possible backstory 😂 It sounds like humanity is already existing, so Hell most likely does too. Been tossing around the idea of “what if they accidentally left their timeline where they were created as twins and are now lost/stuck in a future/alternate timeline where Lucifer has fallen and Hell exists?”

Me as I’m typing this: “OH NO THIS IS THE PREMISE FOR MARIO & LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME!!” LOL

[shyjusticewarrior]

If somebody had told Ed that Lee thinks cats are girls and dogs are boys, the Ed/Lee storyline wouldn't have happened.

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

Tiny Adventure

Chapter 2 (of 2)

Fic Summary:“Either that spell I’d cast was more powerful than I’d realized,” Kamek slowly said, “Or I somehow managed to shrink myself, instead.” “…” “I’d shrunken myself, didn't I.” Fic Tags: Humor, Shrunken Character, Nonverbal Mario

Word Count: 2,975 words

[AO3 Link] [Link to beginning]

~~~

Kamek woke up just after sunrise.

He sat up, wincing at the noises his back made in protest, blinking blearily at what was left of the campfire. Still not a dream. Damn. And the pain of being one of the greatest wizards of the modern age is that none of the spells you cast tended to wear off on a whim, including this one.

Mario was snoring away, a sound amplified due to his size though still not as loud as the worst of Lord Bowser’s snoring. Kamek quietly left his makeshift bed, wandering away to stretch and privately bemoan the lack of coffee in his vicinity. In the absence of caffeine, Kamek stared vacantly at some beads of dew on a leaf until a loud noise from behind surprised him into spinning around to face it. It was the same bird from yesterday, pecking at the ground as if it hadn't been the one to terrorize him back then.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kamek muttered. The words caught the bird’s attention, of course. The two stared at each other for a long moment.

“So...” Kamek took a step back. “I’ll...be going now, if you don’t mind —”

The bird squawked, flapping its wings to charge. With a shout, Kamek bolted, scrambling to get out of the way of its dive. He clambered up a still-sleeping Mario’s leg — almost getting flung off when Mario sprang awake and kicked it in confusion — and Mario scooped him up the rest of the way. Kamek resisted the urge to stick his tongue out as the bird drew up short and flew away.

“Put me down,” Kamek commanded Mario, heedless of the drowsy glare aimed at him. With a huff, Mario did just that. He then stood, tidying up their campsite. “Leaving so soon?” Kamek called.

Mario raised an eyebrow. He had an evil plan to stop, after all. Still, he extended a hand for Kamek to use to get back into his pocket, and while Kamek didn't really want to take it on account of the humiliation inherent in doing so, it was better if he could make Mario do all the walking for him, instead.

Their trek started off quiet, the both of them busy with some berries Mario had foraged for them to eat. In a few hours they were out of the forest, following the winding curves of the river up to its source. Kamek had spent most of that time napping, due to the lack of caffeine and the desire to try and recover a bit more of his magic. But now he had some extra energy, with which to complain about things such as Mario’s general presence, the loss of his wand and how it prevented Kamek from doing anything about said presence, how being small did almost nothing to alleviate his allergies, somehow, the abysmal texture of Mario’s overalls, the excessive jostling to Mario’s stride —

Mario opened the pocket to glare at Kamek.

Kamek smiled innocently. “I’ll shut up if you go home.”

Mario scoffed.

Kamek’s smirk widened. He stood and peered out at their surroundings; currently they were crossing a small bridge, what was left of the river flowing beneath them. So Kamek made sure not to pull himself out too far, lest he fell and had a terrible time navigating the currents at his size.

On the other side of the bridge, Kamek and Mario heard voices. Mario’s eyes narrowed. He reached for Kamek.

“Wha — Hey!” Kamek kicked at Mario’s hand. “What are you doing?”

Mario ignored Kamek’s protests, dropping moreso than placing him in a nearby bush. Pushing aside the leaves revealed a group of scouts from the base that were approaching Mario. And instead of leaving to warn the others about Mario’s location like they were trained to do, they got it in their heads to try and take him down themselves to gain favor with Lord Bowser. Ughhhhhh. Kamek smacked his forehead. These recruits...!

Obviously, Mario dispatched them quickly. And upon being beaten, those idiot scouts finally decided to do their damn jobs like they were meant to in the first place. Kamek scowled after their retreating forms, and as if they knew he was there and angry with them they ran even faster.

By contrast, Mario was completely unaffected by said scowl when it shifted to him, grinning brightly; unfortunately, he was too used to Kamek’s ire in other contexts to treat it with the seriousness it deserved.

They continued on. The scouts' warning had evidently been passed along, by the way they were next accosted by a group of Koopa guards. Mario stowed Kamek away in another bush without a word and rushed into battle. In this fight, though, the Koopas’ shells getting knocked around made the sphere of collateral damage much larger. So much so that by the time Mario finally defeated his foes, the bush Kamek had been in had been flattened.

Kamek, meanwhile, crawled out from under the rock he relocated to when he’d realized he’d needed a better hiding spot to find Mario frantically searching the area around his first hiding spot. He could leave now, Kamek realized. Slip away, make his way back to the base, grab his spare wand, unshrink himself, fix his broom, and come back to defeat Mario for good. The initial traveling would be a bit difficult, but he didn't get this far in life without being resourceful. But the edge of distress he could see creeping onto Mario’s face from here felt a bit much to leave Mario with, even for him. Especially after...

Before Kamek could make a final decision, Mario turned and spotted him. The open relief on his face had Kamek’s eyes rolling. “I can take care of myself, you know,” he said as Mario ran up to him. Mario smiled weakly.

The farther upriver they traveled, the more soldiers appeared to block their path. Mario had long since stopped bothering to find shelter for Kamek every time and had decided to just try and be careful about what hit him in the chest. It helped that Kamek had managed to scrounge up enough magic and focus for a wandless shield spell — “Of course I can cast spells without a wand, what am I, your average wizard?” — though it took more strain than he was willing to let on.

Unfortunately, none of the groups of minions sent to stop Mario hardly even managed to slow him down. Soon enough, he was staring up at a giant wall spanning from riverbank to riverbank; behind it on one side stretched a convoluted mess of pipes and dials and the occasional small building, and above it loomed the very tip of a waterwheel. On the opposite side of the pipes stretched a wide chute, water rushing out of it over the cliffside.

Mario looked down at Kamek. Kamek looked back up at Mario, because he had no intention of explaining any of this to him.

Around them, minions gasped. “It’s Mario!” they muttered amongst themselves. “What do we do?” If he’d gotten this far, they reasoned, then he’d wipe the floor with all of them for sure; but if they didn't fight back, then Lord Kamek would tear them all a new one for certain!

“What are you all standing around for?” Kamek shouted at them, actively tearing them a new one. “Stop him!”

The minions hesitated. But they could practically hear Kamek yelling at them right now, so it was probably a good idea to try and do something before he actually came to do so.

Kamek ground his teeth, because of course they didn't hear him, and thus didn't know he was here. He geared up to get their attention, and spin his predicament into something that didn't undermine his authority over them, but —

“Ho, there!”

Above them standing on the dam was a figure, a hulking humanoid mass of metal pipes and blocks of concrete. It bent its legs and jumped, hitting the ground hard enough to create a small crater in the grass and for Mario to almost lose his balance and fall over. “So you’re the enemy that Lord Kamek had taken care to warn me about!” it said, staring straight at Mario. It rose from its crouch, standing at its full height of almost thrice the size of said enemy. “Hardly the formidable foe he built you up to be, aren't you?” it remarked, looking Mario up and down.

Still in Mario’s pocket, Kamek scowled. “Hey!” he snapped. “I didn't create you to guard the base against Mario just so you can write him off when you see him —!”

“No matter!” The main guard of the base shifted its weight. “It simply makes it easier to dispose of you posthaste, so that what's being gathered here can be used for its glorious purpose! A purpose you won't live to see!”

“Oh, just give away our all plans, why don't you,” Kamek grumbled, and then the guard surged forward with a punch. Mario threw himself to the side to dodge it, and the fight was on. Kamek wished he could appreciate it, but as it stood he was too busy trying to keep his shield bubble up so he wouldn't be crushed by any of their attacks. What he could gather, though, left him quite impressed. By himself, that is. He really did a solid enchanting job on this particular magical construct, for it to keep up with Mario this well.

Case in point, it got a good right hook in on Mario. Mario went flying in one direction, and Kamek in his shield bubble was knocked away in the other. It was seemingly eons of rolling and bouncing before the bubble finally burst from the strain, sending Kamek tumbling the rest of the way inside a nearby building.

Luckily, the building was empty, so there was no one to witness Kamek groaning and clutching his back in pain as he got to his feet. He shuffled further into the room, the sounds of fighting echoing from outside. Near the back wall was a large computer console, connected to screens with readings and graphs that he couldn't read from his place on the ground. But he needed to read them, because this was the console linked to the main generator and thus could give him information about how much energy this operation had gathered up until now. Kamek sighed. He approached the console and started climbing.

At the top, he needed more than a few moments to catch his breath. A part of him thought that maybe it was time to admit he was too old for all this. The rest of him thought that he would be in this business until the day he died anyway, so what did it matter how old he was? Regardless, now that he was up here he could properly judge the progress made in his absence. And to his surprise, the meters showed that they had gathered just enough energy and resources for the next phase of Lord Bowser’s plan to work. So maybe the minions weren’t so incompetent after all.

Speaking of surprisingly competent, Kamek looked through the window and saw Mario and his construct-guard still locked in battle. Mario was very handily losing; it was almost as if it was toying with him at this point. The sight would normally fill Kamek with glee, but for some reason those feelings weren’t manifesting themselves. On one hand, Mario losing was ideal, because at best they could stamp him out for good and at worst they could delay him for long enough to get some extra power from this river before they were forced to abandon it. But on the other hand...

Kamek looked back out the window, towards the fight. He thought about his journey to get here, back to the base. He sighed. He jumped behind the console, and with a flick of his wrist he floated down to the ground.

Though its helmet was misshapen and its stone armor chipped, exposing its metallic skeleton, Kamek’s magical construct-guard still loomed over a collapsed Mario, assured in its victory. With gritted teeth, Mario searched for an opening he could take advantage of, before he was finished off for good. But his opponent wasn't presenting an opening like Mario needed it to, even as it raised a hand for a final blow.

So the universe deigned to give him one itself, by way of loud cracking of stone from farther away. Over the guard’s shoulder, the dam keeping most of the river at bay bloomed with cracks and fissures, water seeping out and growing them larger to the tune of increasingly loud rumbling.

Mario’s eyes widened in alarm. He hurried to his feet to run. The construct-guard lunged after him, intent on seeing this fight to its end. It swung its arm up and clipped Mario’s shoulder blade, knocking him to the ground at practically the same time the dam crumpled and gave way.

The other minions’d had enough sense, speed, and distance to avoid the bulk of the water flow, but Mario and the construct-guard lacked most of those things. So down the river they were swept, the torrents of water sending them tumbling all the way back to that little bridge, where Mario managed to pull himself onto dry land. He crawled far enough from the shore that the water couldn't drag him back into its grasp, and then he sat there and coughed for a while. As he regained his breath, he wondered what happened to —

The construct-guard burst forth from the river in a shower of droplets that Mario scrambled back to avoid. If it could gasp for breath it probably would be doing so, hunched over as it was; it raised its head to glare at Mario, its glowing eye pinning him in the middle of resuming a fighting stance.

“You...!” it growled. Its voice sounded waterlogged. “I have to admit, that was a clever trick you pulled! But you will not” — it stood up straight, creaking the whole way — “get the best of me that easily...!”

The construct-guard raised its hand for another blow. Mario braced himself for the hit. But as its hand came down, its arm stuttered, catching on something unseen. And with a metallic groan, its arm stopped.

“Wha —?” It turned its head in confusion. Its neck got stuck halfway. It lifted its other arm to fix it, and the shoulder twitched and jerked with a shrieking screech that had Mario wincing. “What is — h-happening —?”

Mario didn't give it any time to sort itself out; as it was still trying to stop from seizing up completely, he rushed forward, pulling his hammer out of his pocket. He reared back and swung, knocking the still-malfunctioning construct-guard back into the rapidly rushing river behind it. Its voice warbled on a scream as it was carried away; the sound of it cut off long before it became too far away to hear. With any luck, the townspeople at the end of the river will have the sense to fish the metal out of the river before it rusted over.

Inhale, exhale. Mario put his hammer away. Now that the fight was over, Mario could go and find Kamek, who’d fallen out of his pocket during the fight and bounced off somewhere. And...had probably gotten caught up in the dam’s collapse. And with him being so small...!

Mario’s first harried sweep of the immediate area came up fruitless. As did the next, and the next. Should he go back to the start of the river, and retrace steps from there? Or should he start from the end of the river and try to work backwards? Mario wasted precious seconds trying to decide which to do and then realized he probably didn't have that time to waste.

He was considering diving back into the river to see if Kamek was trapped somewhere beneath the surface when he heard coughing and hacking and sputtering from the other side of the bridge. Mario ran towards the sound and it was Kamek, soaking wet and somehow fully-sized!

Mario’s sigh of relief was audible, and it caught Kamek’s attention. With one last cough, Kamek straightened up in a partially-successful attempt to look less like a drowned rat. Kamek frowned upon seeing Mario, and that frown deepened to a scowl as he looked past Mario upriver; though the damage the dam bursting had caused was barely visible from here, it was still easy to imagine all the wreckage it left behind.

“But I hope you don't think this little victory matters,” Kamek said, head held high. “We’ve already gotten all we needed from this backwater place. Something you’ll come to regret when the rest of Lord Bowser’s plan gets off the ground!”

Mario looked less sufficiently-wary than usual at Kamek’s proclamation, the little pleased smile still sitting on his face messing with the usual dynamic. Kamek’s stance faltered at the deviation from the norm.

“I-in any case.” Kamek took out his broom. The wood was soaked dark. “I’d say see you later, but I’d rather you save us both the trouble. But I suppose I’ll have to make you, next time.” He mock-sighed. “It should be fun crushing you into paste, at least!”

At this, Mario finally frowned. Cackling, Kamek got on his broom and flew away; his flight path was unsteady, and he stuttered and jolted his way to being a tiny speck in the blue sky. Mario watched him until he disappeared behind a passing cloud, and then he jumped off to go check on the town at the end of the river and see if he could help solve any problems the recent flash flooding had probably caused.

[zombiplays]

And then we put them in the gallery… I also don’t know what voice or accent this is 🤣 🖼️