#Manon loves it but she doesn’t know how to express it but Dorian can tell

[pergaminaa]

Modern au

Dorian does have a lot of ideas when it comes to the things he and Manon can do on any day to relax and have fun (he does it mostly for her, because she needs to experience this and also to relax)

Friday nights are usually their quiet nights in. Dorian has taken to the habit of ordering food and they’d sit and watch a movie or two together. They always take turns picking movies (that was another thing because growing up Manon wasn’t allowed this kind of fun so the only movies she watched were those she could sneak around and watch without her grandmother finding out. So essentially with Dorian she’s learning what genres appeal to her and which ones don’t). Dorian is a little appalled because ‘why do you say you like this it’s literally stressing you out???’ Like I’m sorry but Manon is totally this horror film junkie that gets super creeped out but continues to watch them for some reason. Dorian honestly doesn’t know how to respond because she’s so invested but lowkey also so scared????? He just lets it go because she’s having fun (?) and he won’t get in the way of that.

As for the food Dorian usually handles that because if he asks the responses he gets are:

‘Anything is fine,’

‘I’m not really hungry’

‘…’

So really, he doesn’t bother asking anymore.

It’s giving her too many options and most of these are just giving her a chance to come up with an excuse not to eat.

So what he does is that he just narrows down the options.

He’d pick a restaurant and pull up the menu on his phone. He’d hand it to her to pick or just do that and ask her if it’s alright (he knows her taste so most of the things he picks are to her liking).

It’s what he does when it’s their nights off to relax and do nothing productive (usually on Friday nights) but it also extends to other occasions as well. They’d be somewhere and Dorian would order coffee and very possibly a snack so he just shoves his phone into Manon’s hand to pick. Like, he’s not asking if she wants something he’s just like ‘time for a break’ which includes BOTH of them.

[rufousnmacska]

wanted to just make a quick observation about manorian but have you ever notices how manon is the only woman dorian has expressed to want to make his QUEEN (unless i’m mistaken).

anyways like in tog he claims he’ll go against rules and do whatever he can to BE with aelin. and in hof i he talks about making a life with sorscha and marrying her but it’s always under the disguise/sense that they run away and start a new life, it’s almost like he separates her from this VERY massive part of himself. but when it comes to manon it’s not just a future wife he sees it’s a future queen for a kingdom he will have to rebuild and idk i really love that it shows how far he’s come that he’s finally accepted all sides of himself and is willing to give all sides of himself, and it also shows how highly he views manon.

So, I have this weird thing where I’ll think or react in meme. Reading this, I was literally making this face

YES ANON!

I have thought this very same thing though I’ve never stated it as well as you have. ❤️

I’ve always thought of it in terms of Dorian finally accepting his throne and his responsibility, things he said he’d give up for both Celaena and Sorscha. He wasn’t willing to do that for Manon. He wanted to stay with her and the Thirteen, but he chose instead to go to Morath and find the last key.

Some people might look at that and say it’s proof that he doesn’t really have feelings for Manon. Or all he feels is lust. But to me it always meant exactly what you’ve said. He’s matured enough to know what he has to do (versus what he wants) and he makes the choice to do it. He’s grown enough to accept himself completely. Yes, he loved Celaena and Sorscha, but he didn’t really love himself. And as cliche as that might sound, it’s not until KoA that he’s at a point where I think he’s able to be in a successful long term relationship.

Does he “love” Manon by the end of KoA? I’d argue he does. Though he’s maybe not at a point where he can fully recognize it and admit it to himself. Or say it out loud*. He processed a lot of the grief and trauma of Sorscha’s death in the last book, which was part of his path to accepting himself and his role as king. But he’s not done healing, and still has to deal with his father’s legacy. So, I don’t know if he’s made the connection between “I’ll only marry for love” and “there’s only one witch who will be my queen.” I’d say the subtext and his actions show it. And I’d argue the same for Manon. But we aren’t given the word on page because they still need time, Manon especially.

I think Dorian is someone who falls in love pretty easily. Whether he tells the other person or we as readers are told, it happens fast. And I think the fact we’re not told that with Manon - he thinks about and tells her he cares a lot for her, he comes to associate her with happiness, he thinks of her as his mirror and equal - isn’t a bad thing. In my opinion, it just reinforces what you said here. He’s not rushing into things, pledging to give up everything and think only about what he wants, like he did in earlier books. We see that when Manon proposes a marriage alliance. He wants to say yes, even after she makes it sound like a sacrifice**. But he knows that would be selfish, and not just in terms of “caging” her. It would mean giving up the path he’s chosen to find the key and stop Erawan. And you’re right. He thinks highly of her and respects her.

That’s not to say he didn’t respect Celaena and Sorscha. He totally did. But he didn’t respect himself. He does now. They were integral to Dorian’s character development. In the same way Sam and Chaol led Celaena/Aelin to Rowan, they led Dorian to Manon.

Manon is the outlier in a lot of ways. She’s “like nothing he’d ever had before.” She accepts the darkness in him, never judging him for what he was in the past or what he did in the valg collar. But she still challenges him as a person and king. She has strengths where he has weaknesses and vice versa.

I don’t know how much sense I’ve made here. Some of these things seem counterintuitive on the surface. But when you look at where both Dorian and Manon began and where they ended in their character arcs, I think they make a solid relationship. More solid than any he was in before.

Also, I did a search of “queen” in the first three ebooks and very quickly checked the times he mentioned Sorscha in KoA and you’re right. Dorian never thinks of Celaena or Sorscha as his queen, only Manon. Of the three, I’m almost positive he never refers to anyone but Manon as his equal.

This was a long reply lol! But thank you for bringing this up anon! I’ve thought about it a lot and even tried to incorporate it into some of my fics (including the one I’m working on now). It’s so great when others pick up on themes that tend to be overlooked in the fandom.

I have to say, I am totally here for this little resurgence of Manorian love and content!! Where is their book??!? 😭

* @itach-i and I have a head canon that hello witchling/princeling becomes their way of saying I love you before they finally admit they’re in love. 🗑

**Manon should’ve stopped while she was ahead 😂 but politics aren’t always her strong suit.

[sassyhobbits]

Guess I lied “Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.” someone from the Cadre telling this to Fen and him breaking apart and crying and dying I want him to suffer

had to so this one. always happy to write about my boy fen!!! luv him

heres day 4!!!

~~~

“Are you sure you want to make that move?”

“Yes. No. Fuck. What’s wrong with this move?”

“Why the hell would I tell you? I’m trying to win.”

Aelin laughed at the stormy look on Fenrys’ face as his dark gaze studied the chess board before them intently. She knew he was determined to beat her for once. She had been on a winning streak lately.

Aelin settled in her seat before the fire, studying the board before them. It was a beautiful set, something she had bought Rowan for Yulemas the year before. Her husband loved the game, but loathed buying anything for himself. She knew he was pleased to have such a nice set, though he tried to play it casual. They played together at least one night a week. Rowan was terribly good at the game. Three hundred years of practice of both chess and military strategy had made him a truly formidable opponent. Aelin had yet to beat him, though she had been getting better.

Fenrys, however, she beat over half the time. Learning from Rowan had given her an edge.

The male across from her finally picked up a knight and moved it, capturing one of Aelin’s pawns that had been protecting her king. She raised a brow at him. “Really, Fenrys?”

“What? You were too well defended.”

Aelin tutted and shook her head. “Short-sighted once again, my friend.” She reached out and moved her queen on it diagonal, placing it down firmly and smirking at Fenrys. “Check mate.”

A slew of terribly, dirty curses streamed from Fenrys’ mouth as he knocked over his king. He shook his head, studying the board. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“I’ve always been good at keeping my schemes to myself,” Aelin shrugged. “That’s all chess is, anyway. Schemes.”

He cursed once more. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Fenrys sighed, accepting his defeat, reaching over to the bottle of wine they had been working through and topping off both of their glasses.

Aelin enjoyed having her friend so close. Aedion, Lysandra, Elide and Lorcan visited Orynth when they could, though they were busy running their own territories. Dorian and Chaol were in Adarlan, Manon rebuilding the Witch Kingdom. Even Fenrys had been traveling until recently. She had truly missed her companion.

They spoke and joked between one another for a few more moments before the door to the parlor opened. Aelin recognized her mate’s scent without needing to look back, even beneath all the sweat.

She sensed his presence as he stopped by where she sat, tilting her head up and smiling at him. His silver hair was in disarray from training with the guards that evening, but his green eyes were bright as he looked to her and then to the board.

Her husband studied it with a general’s intent for a few moments before a smile curled on his lips, looking towards Aelin with pride glimmering in his eyes. Good job, Fireheart, he seemed to say before pressing a lingering kiss to her temple.

Aelin’s nose crinkled at the smell of him. “You, husband mine, are in desperate need of a bath.”

“I agree,” Fenrys added. “My eyes are watering.”

Rowan looked to him dryly, though it held no venom at the younger male’s teasing.

Aelin began asking him about how the training had gone. They had a recent surge of new recruits and though many of them had potential, they were rough around the edges. Aelin knew that if anyone could whip them into shape, it would be Rowan.

Aelin fell into the lull of conversation, and it wasn’t until a while later that she noted a strange quietness coming from across from her. Fenrys wasn’t one to hold his tongue for an extended period of time. She glanced away from Rowan, looking towards the male across from her. Fenrys’ face was somber, staring hard into the fire that made his dark skin glow. His brows were pinched together, lips pressed tight, eyes glazed. Somewhere far away.

Rowan followed her gaze, ceasing his report to study his comrade.

It took a few moments for Fenrys to recognize the sudden silence, blinking away the haunted look in his eyes before glancing towards the king and queen before him, as if he could feel their gazes.

Something in Aelin’s chest clenched. She knew what the look meant, had worn it herself plenty of times. Her head tilted to the side before asking softly, “Where did you go, my friend?”

The smile that slashed Fenrys’ face came just a fraction of a moment too late, confirming that whatever he had been remembering had shaken him more than he could admit.

“I’m just tired. Losing to you takes more energy than you would think,” Fenrys sighed, trying to muster some bravado into his voice, though Aelin saw right through it. “I think I’ll head off to bed.”

Aelin watched her friend warily as he pushed to his feet, nodding a brief farewell before heading towards the door. She glanced up at her husband, seeing a familiar look of concern on his handsome face. It was evident that the White Wolf of Doranelle was not alright.

…

Once Fenrys deemed himself an appropriate distance from where the king and queen sat in the parlor, he allowed himself to let go. His shoulders curved in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he rested his back against a cool stone wall and hung his head in his hands.

Everything had been going well. He had spent the day assisting his queen with her duties while Rowan worked with the guards. He was fine through dinner, through their game of chess. Maybe it was because he had kept himself thoroughly distracted but… when he had let his mind quiet, even for a moment, he had felt himself drift away.

One moment he was laughing and teasing with Aelin, a smile lighting the queen’s face. The next, he heard echoes of her screams of agony, flashes of Cairn carving her up bit by bit while he had to sit aside and do nothing. Once he started, he couldn’t stop, spiraling down into the darkest part of his memories: Aelin sobbing in that iron coffin, the sight of Connall spilling his own blood, the feel of Maeve’s cold, pale hands on his body.

It happened from time to time. The memories getting the better of him. He always tried to play it off to the best of his abilities, making himself flash an easy smile to hide the vulnerability. He knew that the others suffered from similar afflictions, knew his queen was still haunted by nightmares. There were nights when he would wake to a knock on his door only to find Aelin standing on the other side, eyes hollow in a way Fenrys recognized. Sometimes she would talk about it, others she would just sit silently in his presence. The only person who truly had an inkling of what she had suffered for those two months. He knew Rowan still feared losing his mate, still saw the flash of panic in his eyes when he couldn’t find her in the sprawling palace, even though she was always safe and content. It was just… difficult to shake off those feelings.

And yet… Fenrys never wanted to burden his already burdened friends with his own troubles. He knew they would protest that description. Burden. They wouldn’t feel that way about it but… he did.

Fenrys was lost in his thoughts, all of them dark and swirling like a storm through his head. It distracted him enough that he hadn’t noticed anyone approaching until the purposeful scuff of a boot over stone caught his attention.

Fenrys raised his head, finding Rowan standing before him, green eyes studying him carefully. He stood straighter, forcing a wobbly smile to his lips.

“You miss me already?” Fenrys said, though his voice betrayed him, crackling towards the end.

Rowan’s expression turned sympathetic, a look Fenrys had never seen on his commander’s face until he had met Aelin. He stood a step closer.

“You doing alright there, pup?”

Fenrys shrugged, still trying to hold on to some semblance of nonchalance. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Rowan didn’t press him right away, sliding his hands into the pockets of his dirty trousers. “Your quick departure made my wife quite worried about you.”

“Aelin has enough on her plate. She doesn’t need to worry about me too.”

“I’m worried about you as well, Fenrys.”

Fenrys blinked, sure he had heard the king consort incorrectly. Rowan had certainly warmed up since he fell in love with Aelin, but he was still rather stoic most of the time. He saved most of his compassion for the woman he loved. Rowan wasn’t cruel to Fenrys, he never had been. Though he was a massive bastard and a pain in his ass once upon a time but… he had never reached out like this.

It seemed that Rowan took his stunned silence as a cue to continue.

“You try to hide it, but I can see it in your eyes. The pain.” Rowan’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “I did the same thing for years.”

“Yeah, but you took it out on the rest of us poor soul.”

Rowan gave a dry chuckle. “That I did. But you know what helped me heal?”

“Bedding your stunning wife?”

Rowan smacked him softly on the side of the head. Rightly deserved, Fenrys knew. He was being immature.

“I’m serious, boyo,” Rowan said lowly. “I didn’t start coming out of that darkness until I started opening up. Talking. Confiding in people who knew what I felt and what I had gone through.”

Fenrys rubbed at his eyes before rasping, “I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to burden you. Burden Aelin.”

“Aelin loves you,” Rowan said plainly. “She would never feel burdened if you reached out to her. You’re her friend. You’re my friend too, Fen. We’re always going to be here for you.”

Fenrys nodded, not trusting that his voice wouldn’t fail him. He was grateful for the friends, family, and support he had found in the recent years. This life that he had now… he wouldn’t give it up for anything.

He was silent for a few more moments, simply looking down at his boots and trying to banish the lump clogged in his throat. Rowan, the perceptive bastard, simply cocked his head to the side and met his gaze.

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

It was with those words that Fenrys broke. The tears began falling freely down his cheeks, blurring his vision.

“There are moments where I forget where I am,” Fenrys confessed. “When I get so lost in the worst of the memories that I fear there’s no way out. I don’t know how to escape, how to be free of it. At times, I feel like I’m drowning.”

Fenrys didn’t bother to try and smother the tears, the shaking breaths he took. He knew Rowan was right. Holding everything in certainly didn’t help. He wasn’t sure if crying in the halls of Orynth would do much either but-

His train of thought was brought to an abrupt halt when he felt arms wrapped around him. Fenrys blinked once, sure he was hallucinating. But no. It was real. Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius was actually hugging him.

He was frozen for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Some older part of him hissed that it was a trick, that the moment he let his guard down Rowan would put him in a headlock as part of a training exercise. But, Fenrys also knew that the cold and calculating commander of his past was no more.

Slowly, Fenrys reached up and returned the embrace.

For a few moments, neither of them said anything, until Fenrys whispered, “Thank you, brother.”

Another few heartbeats passed before Fenrys felt another pair of arms wrap around his torso from behind, the scent of jasmine and ashes tickling his nose. Aelin.

“You were snooping that entire time, weren’t you?” Fenrys asked with a tiny laugh.

“Of course I was,” the queen mumbled against his back. “How else am I supposed to stay three steps ahead of everyone if I don’t snoop?”

Fenrys chuckled lightly, already feeling lighter than he had before. He was a lucky bastard to have such friendship and support in his life. And, although he was still healing, he knew they were as well.

They would find the path to the light. Together.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Group Hang

..........me again. i haven’t written in so long and it feels good to start it up again. this time it’s a human au. just fluff and aelin’s bad cooking and rowan defending her bad cooking because he actually likes it

3083 words

When Aelin had suggested a dinner at their house for the next group hangout, Rowan was more than happy to accommodate that suggestion.

The last hangout was bowling, and while Rowan excelled at many sports, bowling was strangely not one of them. He almost got banned from the local one when he started swearing his head off when his last bowl was close to becoming a strike when it veered to the side and didn't knock down a single pin.

All their friends behind him starting laughing, Aelin too, when he started going on about how the floor was uneven, the game was rigged and just had a general hissy fit that he never had in his entire adult life.

To be fair, he had one too many beers and it was hot as hell in the bowling alley, the air conditioner barely working that night. So he blamed those conditions on his attitude.

To make it worse, Aelin had managed to snap a picture of him sulking in his seat, posted it on her Instagram with the caption 'when your old man sucks at bowling and comes last'. Rowan hadn't realised it until the morning when he woke up to dozen of notifications from people tagging him and laughing.

Apparently, according to his comment, Fenrys saved the picture and made it Rowan's contact photo. With others saying that they were going to do the same.

Even Lorcan, the stoic bastard, had found it funny.

Aelin laughed at his expression as they laid in bed together, and laughed harder when he sputtered, “I'm only five years older than you!” and fucked her with the vigorous strength of a thirty year old healthy man (Aelin had never climaxed so hard, which made Rowan puff up with pride afterwards, with Aelin rolling her eyes, even though her blood was singing in her veins and a dopey grin was on her face—it was her her secret joy to ruffle Rowan's feathers whenever she could).

So yes, while the aftermath of the bowling night was much better than his losing, he was more than glad to have a quiet night at home; although his friends weren't really the quiet bunch, especially when Aelin, Lysandra and Fenrys had one too many.

However, what he wasn't expecting when he and Aelin went grocery shopping that Saturday morning was when Aelin claimed that she was going to be cooking.

Now, Rowan loved Aelin, loved her so much that he had started planning the night he would propose to her, but the thing about Aelin was that she couldn't cook—at all.

But he grew to love her cooking; came to love the burned crunch that always accompanied it, came to love the under-cooked and overcooked food, loved the dryness of what she piled on his plate when it was her night to cook, the lumpy and misshapen cakes that she made whenever the desire to bake came to her.

Aelin was skilled in many things and cooking was just something she completely sucked at—like Rowan and his bowling. Truly, he didn't mind, although it did stump him how she managed to ruin a sandwich when she sometimes made his lunch for him for work.

Unfortunately, their friends were not him. Dorian, Gods bless him, still went on about the time Aelin accidentally gave him food poisoning on his twenty-first birthday with the homemade cake she gifted him.

Which was why Rowan was the cook in the relationship. His father was a chef and while Rowan wasn't as good as him, he knew enough to cook well and how to present food on a plate.

While they started their weekly shop, Aelin claimed that she was making lasagna, and Rowan was all ready prepared for the under-cooked pasta sheets, salty marinara sauce and overly milky Béchamel sauce and dry mince meat.

He offered to help but she said she would be fine. They continued their shop, with Rowan always appreciating the sight when she had to bend over to pick up something, with Aelin in turn appreciating the sight of Rowan's muscles moving smoothly when he reached for something on the high top shelves.

So here they were, hours later, Rowan watching Aelin as she moved around their kitchen, adding things in from time to time (he was fairly certain he saw her dump some cinnamon in the mince meat, but didn't say anything). She did ask for his help to stir the Béchamel sauce as she made her homemade salad dressing (which would more than have too much olive oil in it, but again, Rowan didn't mind).

He noticed that the sauce was lumpy and on closer inspection, realised that it was large chunks of onion (and why were there large onion chunks? Because she was wanted an obscene amount of onion, she said when he asked about it).

It smelled good though when it was all done and his stomach grumbled as it rested on the kitchen counter, with Aelin rushing to have a quick shower.

Her quick shower always meant twenty minutes, but Rowan tidied the kitchen as she showered and placed the store-bought garlic bread in the oven when the doorbell rang.

Sighing at the incoming whining that would occur when everyone realised that Aelin had cooked, Rowan trudged over to the front door, painted a beautiful shade of Terrasen green.

Rowan barely opened his mouth to greet everyone before they made themselves at home—Fenrys holding a large pink box from Nesryn's bakery, but the woman wasn't in the group, she had a dinner with her fiance's family tonight.

What did surprise him was Yrene's curly head as she walked in with Chaol, the man's hand wrapped tightly on his walking stick as the couple made their way inside. Yrene was a nurse at Terrasen hospital and worked insane hours, so it was a nice surprise to see her.

Dorian and Manon walked in, the latter holding three bottles of Dorian's fathers expensive wine (which either one of them probably took without asking), her black diamond engagement ring sparkling even at night. Dorian claimed that he stole it from his father when he was a teenager and he never even noticed, apparently his father didn't bat an eye when he saw the ring on his future daughter-in-law's ring finger.

Elide and Lorcan followed Lysandra and Aedion, the dark haired man having to duck slightly to walk inside.

The only people missing, other than Nesryn and Sartaq, were Vaughn and Connall—but he knew that the last two were now working night shifts and that it would be hard to catch up with them from now on. Nehemia too, as she was currently on vacation visiting her parents.

Aedion sniffed at the air as they all made themselves comfortable in the lounge room. “Where did you guys order from? It doesn't smell too bad.” And truthfully, the food did smell good—that was something that surprised Rowan about Aelin's cooking, that while somehow everything tasted bad, it always smelled like it came from a five star restaurant.

“Aelin cooked lasagna,” he said and all eyes turned to him, “and there's plenty for everyone,” he added, before any of them could make some flimsy, bullshit excuse about how one of them should maybe order a pizza.

“What do you mean, she cooked?” Dorian asked, eyes wider than everyone else's. His tone implying that she somehow managed to create a radioactive bomb.

Rowan rolled his eyes. “I mean, she's been in the kitchen all evening preparing a dinner for all of us, so you better shut up and eat it, is what I mean when I say she's cooked.”

The timer went off for the garlic bread so Rowan went into the kitchen, but before he did, he deliberately locked the front door, making sure everyone watch him do it.

He wasn't about to let them upset Aelin just because she was a bad cook.

“Yrene, do you have, like, a food poisoning kit on you, by any chance?” Dorian asked.

Yrene snorted. “No, Dorian, you'd have to go to the hospital for that.”

“Oh, Gods,” he cried.

“Dorian,” Chaol sighed, having witnessed many moments of Dorian acting like he was minutes away from dying. “You're twenty-five now, and you're not dead. I'm certainly not, and I dated Aelin for a year.”

“Yeah, when you were eighteen and she was seventeen, I don't think she even went near an oven at that age.” Dorian and Chaol were Aelin's oldest friends, as well as Elide, so they would know.

“I can hear you, you know,” Rowan said from the open kitchen, cutting the garlic bread in equal slices.

“It's okay,” Fenrys said, smiling. “I've got cake from Nesryn's and Manon has good wine, so tonight will be salvageable.”

Rowan pointed the knife at his friend, silently telling him to shut up.

Aelin chose that moment to exit the bathroom, her towel wrapped tightly around herself. Her smile was warm as she smiled at everyone and greeted them. “I'll be done in a couple of minutes, so everyone sit at the dining table. Rowan, could you see to the serving?”

“Of course.” She quickly came over to place a kiss on his cheek and rushed for the bedroom. Everyone went to the table, Dorian acting like he was walking to the electric chair, Manon rolling her eyes at his theatrics.

The glass dish was still hot as hell, so Rowan walked over carefully, hands wrapped in giraffe oven mitts, Lorcan snorting at the sight.

“Shut up,” Rowan muttered as he placed the dish down, took the mitts off and started cutting up the lasagna. He plonked down the slices, pointedly looking at everyone as he did so (except Yrene and Chaol—the young nurse saying that she's had worse cafeteria food, quickly throwing a no offence when she realised what she said, and Chaol, like he had stated, he had Aelin's food before and was fine—joking that his spinal injury was from a freak accident rather then from Aelin's cooking).

Dorian still didn't look happy, and Fenrys was frowning at his plate. Elide poked at it with her fork, Manon inspecting it with narrowed eyes. Lorcan was stoic as always.

“I swear to the Gods I can smell cinnamon,” Lysandra said. “Rowan, did Aelin put cinnamon in this?”

Rowan shrugged and acted like he didn't know.

Sitting down, Rowan looked at his friends and said, “I know Aelin's cooking isn't the greatest—”

“She's definitely not winning any prizes in the future,” Aedion muttered but promptly shut up at the scathing glare that Rowan sent his way.

“But she's been in the kitchen all evening, as I said before, and she's really excited for you guys to try it. It may be under-cooked and dry, but you if you cannot even afford the common decency to offer her respect after making everything from scratch and act like adults instead of sulking children, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And Dorian, do not bring up food poisoning for the rest of the night."

Rowan got mumbled apologies, with the man feeling like a scolding father, but they all sat up straight as Aelin entered, dressed and her hair thrown into a messy bun.

They all dug in, and as expected, the lasagna sheets were under-cooked, the Béchamel sauce a little too milky and far too onion-y, the marinara sauce too salty and there was definitely a hint of cinnamon in the meat, but everyone ate it, with Lorcan claiming that it wasn't too bad—which was high praise coming from him, but then again, it could be a lie, he was fairly good at that, something Rowan knew from experience. The salad did have too much olive oil, but the dressing was nice.

Dorian, though, still looked like he was being sent to his death, but ate his food, only lightly gagging once. Aelin didn't notice, thankfully, too caught up in her conversation with her cousin about the upcoming Whitethorn family reunion that she and Rowan were expected to attend. They both had mixed feelings about it since Rowan had a large family and he couldn't stand a number of his cousins and everyone would bring up his dead parents, whose death still hurt even after ten years, as they passed away suddenly. Aelin wasn't looking forward to it, since one of his cousin's was dating his ex-girlfriend Remelle and Aelin could not stand the woman for multiple reasons.

Everyone ate everything on their plates and once the wine was emptied and the cake reduced to crumbs, everyone left, thanking Aelin and Rowan for their hospitality and everyone starting to suggest what the next night out would be as they left.

Aelin and Rowan cleaned in tandem, Aelin changing into her stag pyjamas as Rowan had a quick shower himself (which was actually a quick one) and soon joined her in bed, kissing her cheek as she settled in for the night, picking up his current read.

After long minutes, Aelin said, “I heard what you said to everyone.” Rowan's eyes snapped over to hers, finding Aelin lying on her side, a soft smile on her face. “Is my cooking really that bad?”

“Not to me,” he said truthfully. “I like your brand of cooking.”

“Even the burnt toast?”

“Especially the burnt toast.”

Aelin leaned over and kissed him on the lips, once, twice, three times. “I can't believe that Dorian still goes on about the food poisoning. I think he'll still be going on about it when he's on his death bed.”

Rowan snorted at the imagery that popped up. “He probably would.”

“I have to admit that I liked how authoritative you sounded,” Aelin said, “it turned me on more than it should have.”

Rowan ran a hand up and down her arm. “I'll have to use it more often then.”

“You will,” Aelin agreed, leaning in to kiss him again. Aelin snuggled into him, tucking her head under his jaw with Rowan wrapping his arms around her.

Rowan was on the verge of drifting off when he felt Aelin placed her chin on his chest. “Rowan?”

“Hmm?”

“Rowan, will you marry me?”

He woke up at that and found Aelin's blue and gold eyes shining brightly in the lamp light. “Pardon?” was all he could manage.

Sitting up, Aelin placed a hand over his heart, Rowan's hand covering hers instinctively. Giving him a beautiful smile, the one he fell in love with, she said clearly, “Rowan, I love you so much that I can't even put it into words how much I love you—but I do know this; you're my soulmate and I don't ever want to be away from you. I love you with everything I am. So, Rowan, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

Tears filled Rowan eyes as he looked at the woman he loved with everything he had. “Of course, I will.”

Crying happily, Aelin launched herself at him, kissing him wildly, wrapping her arms around him. Until she suddenly pulled away and almost fell off the bed in her haste to reach for the velvet box she had hidden in the bottom draw of her nightstand.

Inside it was a gold ring, inlaid with a brilliant ruby and engraved in the band were the words 'to whatever end', their promise to each other.

The ring fitted him perfectly and Rowan sat up, capturing her face in his warm hands as he kissed her, their tears falling.

Pulling back, Rowan gave her a smile and went to his own nightstand and showed Aelin the velvet box he had hidden away. Aelin gasped in delight at the sight of it, a wide blooming on her face as he opened it and saw his mother's gold and emerald ring.

Also engraved in it were the words 'to whatever end'.

Aelin was sure she was going to die from pure happiness.

“Aelin, I love you more than anything. I'm so glad I met you in that dingy gym all those years ago. And I don't ever want to be away from you, too. Will you do me the honour of being my wife?”

“Yes, of course, yes,” she said, crashing into him again. Rowan's fingers shook as he placed the ring on her finger. “Thank you for loving me and all my bad cooking.”

Rowan laughed heartily and kissed her soundly. “Thank you for loving me and all my sucking at bowling.”

“You really are bad at it,” she said, laughing.

“I know,” he agreed, kissing her.

This was better than any idea he originally thought of when he started thinking of ways to propose. And it was perfectly Aelin that she proposed first, considering that she was the one that asked him out first all those years ago, to say 'I love you' and to ask to find a house and be Adults together with a mortgage and everything it entailed.

And in the morning, after a rare sleep in, she called her parents and told them the news, Evalin barely able to get any words out as Aelin told them how it happened, even Rhoe, who was a bit of a stoic man, teared up at the story.

They went to their favourite cafe afterwards, getting a slice of chocolate cake on the house as Aelin told their regular waitress their news.

They went to the local garden, after visiting his parents grave, with Aelin snapping a picture of their jewelled hands, the sun making their rings sparkle in a brilliant glow and posted it on her Instagram with a simple caption stating, 'We both said yes'.

Rowan posted the same photo, the first he had in months, since he didn't post often, and he much preferred the streams of congratulations that came their way, their phones soon blowing up with calls after calls.

And as the the sun shone brighter on the beautiful day, Aelin let loose a snorting laugh that had her choking when Dorian pleaded, “Please don't bake your wedding cake. I really don't want to be sick on your special day, I'll feel like an arsehole.”

Rowan promised that she wouldn't and laced his fingers in his fiance's hands as they went to his car towards their home, deciding that last night was the best group hang that they ever had.

[julemmaes]

Congrats! "They should have known that fake dating never goes according to plan." for Rowaelin please 😊

He Truly Loves Her - October 8th

Rowan Whitethorn x Aelin Galathynius

A/N: Same as before, I’m really sorry I didn’t post it yesterday, but I couldn’t find the time to write this and didn’t want to post some shitty stuff just because. I hope you like it, enjoy!:)

Word count: 1,502

Elide was watching Lysandra desperately trying to get Aelin away from the bar.

She and Nehemiah had sidelined with Lorcan when the songs had become too slow for them to keep on going and now couples on couples were swinging like a herd of dying cows.

Elide laughed at her own thought, only slightly drunk. Lorcan looked at her confusedly, arching an eyebrow, "What are you laughing at?" he asked her by putting his arm around her hips and pulling her to his side. Nehemiah looked at them with affection and Elide winked at her, smiling slyly.

She turned towards her boyfriend, taking his nose between two fingers. Lorcan moved until he was free from her grip, and squeezed her wrists to hold her still while she giggled. Elide knew full well how much Lorcan loved the drunk her.

"Nothing, I like that you and I are not cows." the boy burst out laughing, asking her what he was babbling about, but Elide was no longer watching him. Her attention was once again captured by Aelin and Lysandra.

Nehemiah squeezed in her shoulders next to Elide, "I feel so sorry for her." she murmured as Alein struggled to stand on those heels, then her expression got sour, "And I'd really like to talk to him about what an asshole he is."

Elide's gaze shifted to the center of the improvised dance floor in Dorian's house, where an equal slightly drunk Rowan was dancing with a girl they all knew very well.

Lyria Ballard had been with Rowan for more than four years. They had met at the end of high school and had been together all through college, making everyone believe that once they were out of school they would live together in one of those mansions you see on TV, with a perfect, large, happy family. No one would have expected that once back from summer vacation they would announce their breakup.

It hadn't been difficult to keep the group together, Lyria had moved to another state shortly afterwards and Rowan had met other people, including Aelin.

The blonde girl had been a thunderbolt for the boy and a burst of life for the whole group. She had brought so many new people into their small circle that sometimes Elide forgot how many they really were.

"Maybe I should go talk to him, this story is getting too complicated," said Lorcan interrupting her thoughts.

She shook her head, "Ae asked us not to say anything and we will do so. Rowan will realize the mistake he is making on his own."

In front of Lorcan's upset but determined face, Nehemiah added, "We mean it Lor, Aelin says that if he doesn't realize it himself, it's not worth it. If he really has any feelings beyond friendship for her, he should act of his own, not because a friend of his has pointed it out."

Lorcan turned to her at that point, "So should we just stand here and watch while those two destroy each other?"

Elide was inclined to support his point of view, but she took his hand squeezing it, "Aelin asked us not to interfere and we won't."

Nehemiah sighed next to her and then they fell silent again, watching Rowan laughing at something the girl in his arms had just told him.

When Lyria had returned it had been embarrassing to say the least.

Aelin and Rowan had never been together and there had been a long period, at the beginning of their friendship, when they couldn't stand each other for more than two minutes before one of them lashed out and started to insult the other badly, but once they got over that cliff, they started acting like an old married couple.

Elide still remembered when Fenrys had gone to her completely euphoric and gave her a speech about how he had never seen Rowan so happy with anyone, not even Lyria.

So when she had come back from Hybern only a few months later with the intention of staying in Adarlan forever and Rowan had proposed to Aelin that she pretend to be his girlfriend on some occasion to make Lyria jealous, the few who knew about it were shocked.

And they were even more shocked when Aelin had accepted the deal, saying that she, too, could use this to make one of the guys in her class, Sam Cortland, jealous.

Elide had read enough books to know where the bullshit was going.

Manon approached the trio with a clever smile on her face and patted Elide on the shoulder before asking, "What are you looking at? You guys all look like creeps."

When no one answered, she frowned, following the gaze of her friends to the massive figure of Rowan, "Ah, yeah." she whispered, taking a sip of her water. Manon was the designated driver that night, " Would anyone care to tell me what Galathynius' boyfriend is doing, or?"

Lorcan snorted, "They're not really together M, they were just fake dating."

Manon's head snapped in Elide's direction, looking for confirmation, "Fake dating? You're joking."

Nehemiah shook her head, "I'd rather."

"Rowan really got everybody. Aelin especially," added Elide, sitting on one of the chairs against the wall.

Manon laughed, "No guys, mine wasn't a question. You're joking, period." she said. Elide looked at her with a confused grimace, "What do you mean?"

"That they're not fake dating," Manon pointed out, taking her seat next to her.

Aelin, from across the room, burst into tears, and although Elide could not hear her, she knew it must have been a desperate cry, because all the people around her turned around and looked at her worryingly. She was about to get up and go to her, but Lysandra was already escorting her out of the room.

Elide turned again towards Manon, "Yes, they are."

"No, they're not."

"Yes, they really are." Nehemiah meddled.

"Are you trying to tell me that every time we went out and Lyria wasn't there or that Sam wasn't nearby, those two were making eyes at each other for fun?" asked the white-haired girl, "Or that every holy football game we've seen in the last few weeks when Aelin ran out onto the field to hug Rowan and kissed him in front of everyone, it was just practice?" Manon puffed, irritated, pointing to the dance floor where an upset Lyria was standing motionless in front of Rowan. Rowan, who was looking around alarmed.

"I have known Rowan since we were children. We grew up together and in the last few months he has done nothing but talk about Aelin." she started, "Aelin this, Aelin that." she huffed a laugh. "Yeah, it's true. They think they're faking it, but that-" she pointed a finger back at Rowan, who was now talking to a not-little-irritated Aedion, "Well, that's not faking it." she took a sip of water, "And believe me when I tell you I haven't heard Rowan say Lyria's name half a time in the last ten days."

Fenrys approached the two boys, an equally pissed off expression on his face. Elide managed to pick up the words "Lyria" and "piece of shit" from his speech. Rowan looked like a clubbed dog desperately trying to hide his tail between his legs.

"No one looks at anyone else the way he looks at her unless they promised eternal love to each other." Manon concluded, crossing her legs. "Those two are not faking dating. They just don't know it."

Rowan ran his hand over his face and Elide almost snapped when he turned around and walked towards Lyria. He took her by the hand and pulled her off the dance floor.

Lorcan did not seem to be in a more controlled condition than she was and Elide was amazed to see such outrage on his face. After all, Rowan was his best friend, but she was happy to find out that if Rowan did something stupid he wouldn't just blindly support him.

"They should have known that fake dating never goes according to plan." Nehemiah murmured, she sighed and walking away shortly afterwards towards the bar where Fenrys and Aedion were still talking.

Lyria was nodding disoriented, but she smiled at the end when Rowan seemed to apologize and put her hand on his arm. He smiled apologetically and she stood up tiptoeing, leaving a kiss on his cheek and pushing him towards the exit.

Manon got up at that point, looking at the couple sitting next to her. "Trust me guys, he truly loves her and if I know Rowan even a little bit, we can all trust that tomorrow morning Aelin will be the happiest person in the world," she smiled like one who knows what they're talking about and walked away.

Rowan was nodding, looking more scared than anything else, and ran towards the door of the house, towards Aelin.

Perhaps Manon was right. Maybe the next day Aelin would finally be happy.

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[louiseleblancdiggory]

"i'm gonna kiss you right now" for rowaelin

Ok so I used this prompt to make a part 2 for Drunk Mistakes (I really want to kiss you right now prompt)!! I hope you guys like this because I had fun writing it. It is heavily inspired on a conversation I’ve had with my best friends

Drunk Mistakes (part 1)

Tipsy kisses

--

Rowan’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was trying to read into her words.

Aelin’s heart was beating so fast that maybe Rowan was narrowing his eyes because even he could hear it. Underneath the covers, Aelin twisted her hands, both of them starting to sweat.

“Nothing at all?”

She shook her head, getting up from the bed. If he kept staring at her like that, she’d probably break and commit the same mistake from the night before. All Aelin wanted was for Rowan to drop the subject and believe that she was just a blabbering drunk. She just wanted him to forget last night.

“Did I do something? You know how I get when I get drunk like that.” She said, forcing worry and curiosity in her voice but not turning her face to him. She entered her bathroom and Rowan, thank the gods, didn’t follow.

She looked at herself in the mirror and almost gasped. A corpse looked better than her at that moment. Smeared makeup, the hair a mess and huge bags under her eyes, the pounding headache wasn’t the only thing a hungover brought to her. “Fuck, I look hideous.”

She was trying to change the subject, trying to make things seem natural again. Judging by Rowan’s silence, it wasn’t working.

“Ro.” She called again, finally looking back at him through her reflection in the mirror. “Did I do something?”

Rowan stared at her for a few seconds before shaking his head. “No. No, you didn’t.”

Aelin nodded back, a forced smile on her lips. She couldn’t tell if she was happy or disappointed with his answer.

—————

Six weeks. It had been six fucking weeks from her little drunken incident and Rowan was still acting strange around her.

Whenever she thought of it, Aelin wanted to cry. This is why she didn’t want to tell him about her feelings. This is why she didn’t want to make a move on him. If he was all tense and strange after hearing her say she wanted to kiss him while drunk, Aelin couldn’t phantom what he would do if she had said the words sober.

Maybe a restriction order. Or just finding excuses to not even look at her when they went out, even if he was already doing that.

“I hate this.” Aelin murmured, taking a deep chug of her beer. She was a little tipsy and the beer sent a rush to her head. “And I hate beer.”

“No, you don’t. You love beer, you’re just bitter lately.” Fenrys answered, putting an arm over her shoulders and pulling her close. Aelin laid her head on his chest, groaning quietly. “Just talk to him.”

“Last time I talked to him in a bar, I fucked it up and that’s why things are the way they are.” Aelin grumbled and Fenrys only chuckled, rubbing her arm with his hand. “Gosh, I’m an idiot. Four years. I managed to keep my mouth shut for four years and then I get drunk one night and fuck it up.”

Fenrys wasn’t surprised at the words. He had been her friend for much longer than she had known Rowan. Actually, both of them met four years ago because of Fenrys. Both he and Rowan were planning on going to pre-med, and were to be roommates during freshman year of college. Fenrys threw a party during the summer and that’s when Aelin met Rowan.

Since the beginning Fenrys had been the first person to know about Aelin’s feelings towards Rowan. The other four people were Manon, Lys, Elide and Dorian. Manon and Dorian were currently traveling the world in their gap year, only sometimes stopping by Orynth. Elide and Lysandra knew everything, but Fenrys had always understood better. She didn’t even had to tell him four years ago, the asshole just guessed.

After that Aelin was more careful in expressing herself with Rowan when there were other people around.

“Everyone makes drunk mistakes, baby.” He said, voice always carefree.

“You were supposed to stop me from making this certain mistake!” She smacked him across the chest. That had been their pact; Fenrys wouldn’t let Aelin confess her feelings when she was under distress, sad, overjoyed or, as he had failed, drunk.

“I tried! I fucking came by and swept you away, it’s not my fault you have this big ass mouth.” He hissed when she hit him again. “You were dancing with Vaughan and then I blink and, oh gods, where is Aelin?”

Aelin huffed a laugh at the sarcasm in his voice. “Three seconds earlier and I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

Fenrys laughed, ending his beer. He put the bottle on the table with a loud thud and everyone around them, including Rowan, turned to them. That was the first time during the night that he had looked at her and not averted his gaze quickly. His eyes narrowed a tiny bit while he watched Aelin and Fenrys. When Fenrys put his hands on her shoulders and drew her away from his chest, Rowan shook his head quickly and turned back to talk to Lyria.

“You want my advice?” Fenrys said, looking her dead in the eye. Aelin laughed at his sudden seriousness.

“Yes, give me all your extensive knowledge.”

“Smartass.” He replied, not letting go of her shoulders. “I fuck up a lot—”

“I have noticed, yes.” Aelin nodded solemnly.

“I will gag you if you don’t shut up.” When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “As I fuck up a lot, I know when a situation needs disfucking—“

“Did you just say disfucking?” She was either a little bit more than tipsy or Fenrys was just being his usual self.

“For the love of the gods, will you let me finish? Yes, disfucking. When you un-fuck what you fucked up.”

Yeah, just Fenrys being his usual self.

“Fuck down then?”

“Disfucking.”

Aelin was bitting her cheeks to keep herself from smiling. This was the stupidest conversation she had ever had and the alcohol made it ten times funnier.

“Proceed. How do I disfuck Rowan?”

“How do you what?” Vaughan who was passing nearby stopped, eyes wide and brows furrowed.

“Oh, gods.” Fenrys rubbed his temples, sighing and looking at Vaughan. “Disfuck. Now get out.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Vaughan said, turning to Aelin.

She shrugged. “Un-fuck what you fucked up.”

“Fuck down?”

“No!” Fenrys shouted and everyone looked at him again. “Disfuck and fuck down are different.”

“What the hell?” Lorcan sitting by Rowan’s side murmured.

“Mind your own business, M-rated Grinch.” Fenrys snapped at Lorcan and this time Aelin could help but laugh. She was almost doubling over when Fenrys turned to Vaughan. “You get the fuck out.” He turned to her. “And you, baby, shut the hell up and hear my teachings.”

She nodded, breathing hard. She looked at Rowan again to see him with furrowed brows. He turned away again. She sighed.

“You won’t disfuck this situation.” Fenrys explained. “It won’t help, it’s already too throughly fucked.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“What you will do, is kiss Rowan.” Fenrys finished, flashing her a smile.

“Someone needs to disfuck your brain. How is that supposed to help?”

“It won’t. He thinks you don’t remember but he does remember. He won’t forget. If the relationship is destroyed, at least get the kiss you’ve wanted for four years.”

“He’s right.” Vaughan added quietly.

“Bloody gods, you’re still here.” Fenrys turned to his brother-in-law. “Didn’t I tell you to piss off?”

“I was curious.” He shrugged, approaching Fenrys and Aelin. “But he’s right. Everything already went to shit, so why not?”

Aelin’s heart constricted at the words. “The two of you are so, so helpful. I feel much more comforted now that you guys said my relationship with my best friend is ruined.”

“They have no social skills, that’s why. It’s a wonder they can ever have a conversation with other people.” Lyria said, coming on their direction. “But they’re right, you should kiss Rowan.”

“You can’t have one private conversation these days.” Fenrys grumbled and Lyria hit him in the back of the head.

Aelin ignored him and turned to one of her closest friends. “You think?”

“I mean, yeah. I’ve known you for four years and Rowan for longer than that. I have been wondering why the two of you haven’t done it yet.” Lyria said, her voice calm and steady. She smiled knowingly at Aelin.

“Isn’t he your ex? You’re trying to pair up your best friend and your ex?” Fenrys butted in.

“You can’t have one private conversation these days.” Lyria mimicked Fenrys and the two immediately started bickering as usual.

Aelin stared at them for a few seconds before turning to Vaughan. “Can you take Lorcan away from Rowan?”

“Anything for you, princess.” Vaughan smiled at her, turning around and starting to walk to the bar. “Salvaterre, drinking competition. You say no, you’re a spineless coward and I’m showing Elide your baby pictures.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan immediately got up, following Vaughan as he threatened her friend.

Without giving herself time to consider what she was about to do, Aelin drowned the rest of her beer and got up. Her head was buzzing and she didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the adrenaline. She dodged Lyria who was still standing near Fenrys, arguing with him. With a purposeful stride, Aelin walked up to where Rowan was sitting. He saw her seconds before she stopped in front of him, brows high.

“You ok?” He said when she stood before him.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” He answered, and Aelin could hear the confusion on his voice.

“Neither am I. A little tipsy, but that’s besides the point. And I lied six weeks ago.” She said, voice coming out rushed. Her heart was thundering and her mind was racing. She was feeling an adrenaline rush and would probably want to murder Fenrys, Vaughan and Lyria when it ended. “I was drunk, but I remembered the whole night.”

Rowan’s eyes widened at that, and some sadness took over his expression. “You lied?”

“Yeah, sorry. I thought that you were giving me an out the following morning. Because, you know… I said I wanted to kiss you and you didn’t want that.”

“I—“ Rowan started, dumbfounded.

“But it doesn’t matter, because I can’t disfuck it so I am going to kiss you.”

“You will?” Aelin sworn she could see Rowan fighting a smile.

“Yeah.” She nodded at herself. “I’m gonna kiss you right now.”

Aelin grabbed Rowan’s face in her hands, stepping in between his legs. The second before Aelin’s lips met his, she could see him finally smiling.

Rowan’s hands went immediately to her waist when her lips touched his. Rowan’s mouth was warm and soft against hers, and Aelin sighed contently. He drew her closer, and Aelin felt her body flushed against his. Aelin skimmed her hands from his face to the back of his neck, fingers playing with his hair. When Rowan’s tongue swept over her bottom lip, Aelin opened her mouth and would have probably moaned if they weren’t in public.

They kissed until Aelin lost track of time, mouths and tongues moving against each other, his fingers hugging her waist and hers playing with his hair.

When they finally drew apart, both were breathing hard, a small smile on Rowan’s lips and a very satisfied one on Aelin’s.

“So this is disfucking.” She said after breathing in, voice raspy.

“What the hell is disfucking?” Rowan’s brows furrowed, but he was still smiling.

Aelin merely stepped forward again, catching his lips with hers.

Tags:

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[areptvclown]

Little one chasing down the pet to rest their head on them and hold them tight. Manorian

It was seven am on a Saturday. Manon wanted nothing more than to lay in bed for just a little longer. Her five-year-old, Stella, seemed to have other plans requesting french toast, berries, and bacon for breakfast. At first, she was preparing to tell her no. Exactly like Dorian, Stella knew how to make her mother cave. Climbing on top of her in bed, pursing that tiny mouth full of sass and sweetness out. Round eyes, like two small sapphires, glimmered with wetness, The five-year-olds brows slightly arched. Manon hated that this was all it took for her to cave and give in to her daughter's desires. Especially when she adds in, "Daddy loves french toast too, and don't you love us."

When she agreed, the little girl shrieked with excitement running out of the room.

Throwing up her moonlight hair into a sleep riddled mess of a bun, she didn’t care nor would her husband who's seen her in every ridiculous state imaginable. Quietly, Manon slipped out of her bed, careful not to wake Dorian who was still sound asleep. 

Stella busied herself on the couch, tablet in her hands, lounging on their white and grey fur-coated pitbull Abraxos as she hummed to herself. The girl laid about as if she personally owned the couch. Manon chuckled under her breath at the image. Not only did Stella look like her father, but she also acted like him too. Perhaps that's one of the many reasons she could get her mother to cave so damn quickly.

Manon got to work in the kitchen. Pulling out the assortment of berries, bacon, and everything she needed for the French toast. Including the powdered sugar for her sweet tooth husband. "One could never have enough sugar." He always quipped. As a dentist, she debunked this. Daily. It never stopped his childlike sweet tooth. Before she started on anything, she pulled down two coffee mugs, both ivory and etched in black font. One saying Queen of my heart, the other much of the same only King replaced it. She recalled roughly a month ago when they went to a tacky gift shop at Adarlan Amusement park. Dorian insisted they needed them. Citing Stella couldn't be a true princess without royal parents, and besides Manon was his queen, he pulled his charming smile and then they owned cheesy couple mugs. 

Soon after the Kitchen came alive with the sound of sizzling bacon and the scent of freshly brewed coffee. If the heavy footsteps of Dorian didn't give him away. The shriek of daddy! And an equally enthusiastic reply of Good Morning Princess did. She could feel Dorian’s gaze upon her as she busied herself flipping the brioche bread in the pan. It took but a few moments for him to cross the threshold to her. Dorian encircled his arms over around her waist, towering over her as he rested his head on top of Manon's. Manon leaned into his touch moving to the bacon flipping that over. His mouth moved to her throat, rumbling out a good morning.

"Did you sleep okay?" She asked as he nuzzles into the nape of her neck

 

"Like a baby. French toast Mmm my favorite," his hands squeezing her hips, swaying with her movements.

"Thank Stel for that one. She asked. I'm almost done."

He laughed into her silvery strands, "She pulled the look huh?" Manon’s little snort then silence gave him the answer, "Let's eat on the deck. I'll take them outside so you can finish up."

Manon turned to face him, the exact expression on his face Stella had earlier. Minus the threat of tears. She sighed, "A foot rub after though. And you're cleaning up. The dishes and Stella."

Dorian settled his mouth over hers, planting a fleeting kiss, "Deal."

He left the kitchen calling out to their daughter who was more than excited about eating outside. It took Manon roughly twenty minutes before breakfast was ready. Three plates set with french toast, bacon, and berries. Dorian's double the powdered sugar, Stella's all cut up on a lilac divider plate, and Manon’s with a dust of sugar, an extra helping of bacon. Her feet padded along the hardwood floor to the sliding glass door. Watching as Stella in her star patterned Jammies ran back and forth chasing Abraxos all over the yard. Gripping the handle she pulled open the door. Dorian turning to met her gaze.

"What is she doing?" Manon questioned as their daughter kept shouting at Abraxos to stay still. 

"She said they needed relax time. Whatever that means. Abraxos doesn't seem to care."

"Oh I know," Manon stepped down the stairs, bare feet touching the soft blades of grass. Dorian followed suit as she whistled at the pit. Abraxos came charging at them panting, pink tongue hanging about, "Sit you mongrel."

Abraxos obeyed plummeting into the grass. Stella's cheeks were tinted pink, small harsh ragged breaths emitting from her, as she came to a stop. Her onyx hair hanging out of her ponytail. 

"Finally. Thank you, mommy," She collapsed next to Abraxos, wrapping her tiny arms around his massive body. Burying her face into his coat. They watched on as the girl's fingers ran through the sleek coat glistening against the sunlight. 

No matter how many times Manon witnessed the bond between two, it still made her heart flip. Before Dorian came into the picture, it was her and Abraxos. To see her daughter connect with him the way she did, never failed to warm her heart. Even on her most trying days. Dorian slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it as he turned to face Manon. 

"Let's set up breakfast while they have relax time."

Manon nodded as they turned to the house.

*************************************************

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[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[rufousnmacska]

been reading that cc account and oh wow i didn’t think of this https://curiouscat.qa/mikaeIsons/post/1218800332

Adding the screenshots so it’s easy to read…

This scene kills me for all of these reasons. Manon takes the leap and admits she cares about him and is scared to lose him. Dorian wants to stay, wants to say yes, but can’t. 😭

This is THE example showing just how much they respect each other imo. Manon thinks she’s being smart politically, offering the alliance to keep him there, get the Crochans on her side, and position both their kingdoms for a future after the war. It is smart! But with the added layer of vulnerability in admitting her feelings, she lets that one word slip in - sacrifice. I think Dorian would’ve left regardless (he was committed to finding the wyrd key and closing the gate), but hearing her say that sealed the deal. He won’t say yes because he knows that’s not really what she wants. Or at the very least, she isn’t ready for it.

I imagine he’s thinking back to the scene in EoS when she tells him he can only have what she gives. Nothing more. He remembers this at the end of KoA when he doesn’t say what he’s thinking - what is it that you want? You, all of you. But she knows what he wants to say there. They’ve spent the entire book learning about and reading each other’s expressions and thoughts. So when Yrene blurts out what all Manorian shippers are thinking (bless you Yrene!), Manon smiles at Dorian and gives him hope with her reply. Hope for herself too, that she may need time, but she wants to do what Asterin told her to do. Live. Find happiness.

And after the marriage proposal, when Manon wakes up the next morning to find him gone, she’s hurt and disappointed but she isn’t angry with him. She understands why he left even if she didn’t want him to go. And then her thoughts of going after him are interrupted by the call for aid in Terrasen. I don’t think she really would have gone. Like Dorian wanting to stay with her, she wanted to go after him. But she knew that wasn’t her journey to take.

As much as my trash heart HATED seeing them separate here, I loved how it showed their maturity and respect for each other. Dorian knew his path, knew he had to go alone or risk failing the way Gavin had by choosing one woman (witch) over the fate of the world**. Manon knew her path, knew she had to win the Crochans over herself to gain their full support because without them, the war would be lost.

I just wish he would’ve left a note behind! 🥲

**God, just imagine what would’ve happened if she had followed Dorian and Erawan captured her! Then Dorian tearing the place apart to save her. THE ANGST!!! That whole Morath section was stressful as is. I probably wouldn’t have survived Manon being there 😂

ETA- Just wanted to add that Dorian in Morath was amazing! It really showcased his bravery and intelligence and compassion, putting him in the spotlight for once. So as much as Manon being there would’ve been great for angst, I’m glad he went alone.

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[itach-i]

“We’ll See” (Manorian) (Chapter 2)

_____________________________________________________________

After the war at Orynth, Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard decided that rebuilding their kingdoms would be the best course of action, leaving whatever they felt for each other up in the air. What happens when they finally make time to see each other again? (Link on ff.net)

________________________________________________________________

Spring - Chapter 1 ________________________________________________________________

Broken Glass - Chapter 2

Dorian

Dorian cringed as he realized that his constant pacing might very well cause a hole in the guest room at the Westfall Fortress. Calming himself, Dorian looked out and was disappointed to see the sun just begin to rise lazily over the mountains. Although he had been very nervous and anxious about his meeting with Manon after months apart and leaving things so up in the air, he did not expect sleep to evade him as it had.

There had been a lot of thinking done since the Witch-Queen accepted the offer to meet up in Anielle, and most of it had nothing to do with business or politics and all to do with him wanting to share meals, stories…a bed.

He even stupidly wondered if she had met someone. He knew a good number of Fae had moved to the Wastes, knew there were plenty of males and females who whispered about her beauty, even while in the middle of battle back in Orynth. There was no way she hadn't received come-ons since then, especially when she was so venerated.

His letter had been titled 'Princeling' however, and Dorian was a little ashamed to admit that he kept the thing on his nightstand, if only because his budding and confusing feelings for her had only intensified.

His magic made him turn toward the window and through the dark he could've sworn-

The boom of wings, familiar even after all these months apart made his heart skip a beat and Dorian didn't care that it was barely dawn and he looked like he had not slept since getting there, the king sped out of there like he was being chased, going out into the emptied courtyard that had been prepped for this very reason and watching, entranced, as a small adult wyvern landed on the dirt ground a few feet in front of him.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her white hair was unbound and wind-kissed, falling alluringly over her shoulders in a way that made him want to run his hands through it. The face was what really blew him away though, especially with that small smile that made his chest feel tight.

Manon Blackbeak-Crochan dropped down from her wyvern in one swift motion and watched him carefully, the smile still in place as she said, "hello, princeling."

There were a million questions he wanted to ask, a million things he wanted to tell her, but he only grinned back. "Hello, witchling," he breathed out before walking forward.

The fresh spring sunrise, even in Anielle, made her absolutely shimmer and Dorian hesitated for only a moment before he asked, "can-may we hug?"

Manon seemed to need a few seconds before she focused on what he was saying, as if she had been drinking him in too. He didn't have to wait for an answer as she went forward herself and oh, he could have melted at the hug, at the feeling of her pressed against him, the scent of winter winds and cool night air enveloping him, filling in an emptiness he hadn't even realized existed before.

Home.

That's what she felt like.

Dorian hadn't noticed how tightly he was hugging her until he felt a wiggle, and he moved away, apologies on his lips before he caught the expression on her face.

"Sorry, someone doesn't like being squished."

Confusion overtook him as Manon unbuttoned the top part of her leathers. Dorian's jaw dropped as the cutest kitten he had ever seen popped it's little white and gray head out, meowing loudly. "Oh, my Wyrd," he exclaimed as the witch took the little creature out and cradled it delicately in her hands.

"This is Nieve," she muttered.

Regaining his manhood, Dorian held back a squeal. "You got a kitten?" He asked and the face she made had him chuckling.

"I suppose I did," Manon said as the king patted the little one's head and the kitten blinked large green eyes at him. From her tone, he wondered who among Glennis, Petrah, and Brownen had managed to convince her to keep it. Maybe a mix of all three.

When Nieve meowed again, Dorian spoke. "We should go inside, just in case she gets too cold."

Manon turned to Abraxos just as a guard bowed low to both of them. "We have accommodations for your wyvern, Your Majesty."

The witch seemed surprised, and after a look of confirmation from Dorian who knew that the stable had been outfitted to fit a wyvern comfortably, she nodded to the guard. A quick goodbye to Abraxos, who sniffed at the kitten once before giving a slight nuzzle to Manon and they were inside the fortress walking along the hallway Dorian had been sprinting through only minutes before.

"Would you like to hold her?" Manon asked after a moment and Dorian tried to keep his excitement in as he nodded.

"I'm surprised you didn't bring any guards with you," he said as the kitten took one look at who was holding her and attempted to climb the new obstacle. The obstacle being Dorian's chest.

"They'll be here in a couple of hours, once they notice I'm gone."

Dorian laughed. "And I thought I was being sneaky when I left my tower two weeks ago through the window. Took my guards about an hour to notice I was gone, and the panic that spread was so intense, I haven't tried it again."

Manon huffed in amusement as she took in the barren walls and old sconces doting the hallway. "I wanted to get here first." She looked at him then, and despite having a kitten trying to climb up his head using surprisingly sharp claws, he was struck by her expression. Gods, she was beautiful.

"I'm glad you got here first," he answered sincerely. Before he got too distracted and tried to kiss her, he added, "Lord Westfall has a room prepped for you on the other side of the fortress. I can take you there if you want or…"

Unsure of where they stood, he met those burnt gold eyes and wondered how he was going to stop his heart from breaking if she decided to stay away from him, even if they were still in the same building.

"Or?" She asked.

He smiled, red tinting his cheeks. "Or you could stay with me."

They stared at each other for a moment, Dorian wondering if he had been too forward. Manon opened her mouth-

"I thought I heard a wyvern land," someone else interrupted, and it took a second for the King of Adarlan to turn his gaze.

Yrene stood before them, in a lovely spring dress that complemented her eyes and left space for her large belly. Her smile was wide as she took in Manon. "Your Majesty," she said happily as she gave a short bow in the witch's direction.

Manon raised an eyebrow as she nodded back. "Hello Yrene, you know you don't have to call me that."

Yrene just waved her off before those hazel eyes bulged. "Is that a kitten?!"

By the time they had made it to the common room, Yrene had been hissed and pawed at twice before Manon could convince the tiny cat that she wasn't an enemy wanting to take her away.

Chaol's father, Lord Westfall sat at the front of a large fireplace his son speaking to him in a low voice next to him. Dorian didn't need to use his magic to know the King's Hand was trying desperately to have his father behave in front of foreign royalty. He couldn't wait to see how the Lord of Anielle and the Witch-Queen would interact.

Chaol noticed them first and cleared his throat before lowering his head as far as his spine would allow. With Yrene's progressing pregnancy, he had less help from her magic and would need his chair more often, not that it concerned him. "Your Majesty," he greeted sternly, "welcome to Anielle. Thank you for joining us."

Dorian smiled at his friend, who gave his father a quick look as the old man spoke. "So, you're the Witch-Queen?" He paused and observed Manon closely. "I hope the title was gained through your competence and not your looks."

Chaol appeared absolutely mortified, while Yrene and Dorian shared a wide look. Manon, however, was calm as could be as she simply said, "your home is lovely."

Lord Westfall seemed unconvinced. "Yes, well, please do not interrupt the work being done here." If the old man meant the work Dorian and Chaol had been doing with the ruhkin or the fact that the man had gotten into his head that he somehow had influence over any sort of decision made by Adarlan, Dorian couldn't begin to guess.

His witchling only gave the lord a smile that would send lesser men running. "I'm sure with a king like the one you have; nothing will hinder any work you have going." Dorian could have kissed her as he held back a grin.

A sneer was her answer, but then Lord Westfall seemed to notice something, especially as it meowed several times and made Yrene scramble to keep the little one in her arms. He outright glared at Manon, and Dorian knew for a fact that the man had never encountered a witch before, or he would have been extensively more careful with what he said and did around someone who could literally skin him alive without much effort.

"Animals of any kind are not allowed within these walls. They carry and propagate diseases. I'm sure the stablemen can find a spot for the beast outside this keep."

As amusing as it was watching Chaol's father face off against Manon, there was a line being drawn here that Dorian was not a fan of letting it be crossed. "With how good the witch healers are, I'm sure Nieve carries no diseases," he informed charmingly, "and you are speaking to royalty here, Lord Westfall, I'm sure Her Majesty will keep the kitten secure."

The man only scowled before asking to be dismissed as his breakfast would be served soon and he preferred eating alone.

"Good riddance," Yrene muttered, low enough for only Manon and Dorian to hear and causing both of them to smile. When they were finally out of earshot and able to breathe better Chaol, who had followed after them, let out a breath in relief.

"Now that that's over with…breakfast?"

Even though she nodded along with Dorian and Yrene, Manon went for Nieve. "I should set her up in a room first, it's been a long trip and she's very hungry." Considering how the kitten was meowing like it truly was near starvation, Manon was wise to want to feed her.

"I think I'd be screaming just as loudly if I wasn't a human," Yrene cut in, "come love, I need chocolate."

As Chaol was dragged away in his chair, both Manon and Dorian chuckled as they overheard him say "chocolate for breakfast? I think not" followed by a low growl that made Dorian glad he wasn't at the receiving end of.

Left alone with a loud kitten, the king swallowed nervously as he faced Manon. "So-"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"What?"

"I'd like to share a room with you," Manon clarified and as he smiled, she added, "just as long as you don't mind some extra company." She lifted the kitten, who mewled like she knew they were talking about her.

Dorian bowed low, "I'd be honored." ________________________________________________________________

Manon

Her witches arrived a little earlier than she expected, and Manon wondered what Dorian was thinking when one of her two guards, a young Yellowlegs witch named Ash snarled at her for leaving without them. That spitfire attitude and her intense loyalty were the main reasons Manon herself had selected the witch from among many volunteers.

"You do know she is our queen, right? Regardless of how thoughtless some of her decisions are you should show respect."

Manon narrowed her eyes at her other guard, a Crochan witch who appeared and acted more like a Blackbeak with dark hair and eyes called Skye. Where Ash was all recklessness and fire, Skye was the calm before the storm, intelligent and logical. Brownen had introduced her to Manon not two days after their arrival at the Wastes, and she had proven herself enough that she stood here now, a soot-black wyvern in tow.

"I expected you both an hour from now," was the only thing Manon replied as the wyverns were led to the stables where Abraxos was currently staying in. "Nice job."

"A test?!" Ash demanded, enraged.

Manon only shrugged, uncaring as she faced Dorian, who was eyeing the two witches with an expression the Witch-Queen didn't want to identify. He caught himself as Skye remembered her manners. "Your Majesty," she said, bowing at Dorian. "I am Skye Crochan and this fool is Ash Yellowlegs."

The Yellowlegs scoffed, but joined in on the bow, her wild tangle of blond hair barely contained within her war braids. Dorian smiled at them both, the expression from before now gone. "It's nice to meet you both."

He met eyes with Manon, "ready for the ruhkin?"

The witch nodded, going over what he had told her as she had prepared a small pen for Nieve to stay in back in their room and after a shared breakfast of eggs, meats, and toast. The ruhkin and the wyvern eggs had been camping out near Anielle for the past few months on a nearby mountain that had a road which connected to the town below. Ideally, they would be moving to the Ferian Gap, if not to live there permanently, then to use it as a place to train both wyverns and riders until they were ready to return to Rifthold. Ruhks were also brought in, to Manon's surprise, and new hatchlings would be raised and trained next to wyverns, both to get them used to each other and form bonds.

During her time in the Wastes, Manon had taken up lessons and read books on history and culture. It had been slow to start at first, especially when her thoughts would constantly drift, but it had been worth it and when Dorian introduced her to Iaras and Nebur, a pair of sibling riders that had been chosen to lead the host in Adarlan she was at least partially acquainted with their culture and hierarchy.

The duo, who didn't particularly look like siblings apart from being of the same territory, had bowed and offered a greeting in Halha to which she responded in kind. The silence afterward had made her blink, wondering if her pronunciation had been wrong and she had said something offensive in its place.

"You speak Halha?" Iaras had asked, her voice deep and fitting for her stature, as tall or taller than Dorian even when she was a woman.

Manon had understood the question but reverted back to the common tongue. "I've only learned some of the basics. A family that had been based in Antica and fought in the war decided to make the Wastes their home with us. One of the older siblings had been a scholar and offered to tutor me every so often." For some reason, Dorian had stared at her like she was a different person, the admiration being mirrored in the siblings' faces. It made Manon fall quiet.

Nebur grinned, his ruggedly handsome face crinkling. "You honor us, Your Majesty, you seem to be as lovely as you look."

The clear suggestive tone made Manon raise an amused eyebrow as Dorian cleared his throat and Iaras shook her head. "Ignore him, Your Majesties, he is shameless. Please, let us show you how we keep the hatchlings before you decide to end this whole thing altogether."

Manon had been impressed by the resourcefulness of the ruhkin. Not only did their camp appear more like a town than a temporary garrison, the little information they got from the witches before the leave in Orynth was used to the fullest. They utilized greenhouses to simulate a warm nesting ground and positioned the few grown wyverns they had in strategic places where makeshift aeries had been made of wood and lightweight brick.

The camp itself had the tents and small buildings where hearths and living spaces were kept. A small market and school were even present in the center plaza, which consisted of a recently built stone well that served as the village center. At this altitude even the warmth of spring couldn't reach, and snow still covered most of the open areas. The cold reminded Manon of the Wastes and she wondered how exactly Dorian noticed her distraction when he had asked about her thoughts whilst in the middle of their tour.

They ended up staying for a good number of hours planning, meeting, and looking over the grown wyverns, the handful of hatchlings, and the eggs. Although Manon had very little experience with young wyverns, an Overseer back in Morath had spent a week showing her the pens within the mountains and taught her about how they figured out when and where to separate wyverns and if a hatchling was even viable to begin with.

The rukhin siblings had listened to her closely, even with Nebur's charming compliments whenever she had something to say. After sharing a lunch with a group of potential wyvern riders, Manon and Dorian finally made their way back to the forest directly next to the Westfall fortress. They had chatted excitedly the entire way, and Manon felt herself smiling more than she ever had, especially when the king seemed to be as interested in the development of the aerial legion as she had.

There was a moment, however, where Dorian stopped, and Manon felt a hint of nerves as he waited for her to stand next to him. His smile was still present, which kept her worries at bay, but the way he was looking at her made the witch reconsider their day together. She supposed there was still much to talk about, and although they were sharing a room, neither had made a move for intimacy, not that it had been easy to do with the schedule they carried.

"I know there are a lot of things right now that need our attention," he began and the way the sun reflected on his dark hair, a bit longer than she last saw him, made him look all the more beautiful. "And I also know that despite all the good news going on with our kingdoms, there is still a lot of work to be done."

Manon nodded, because he seemed to need it. Slowly, tantalizingly, Dorian lifted a hand and when he placed it on her cheek, she couldn't help but get closer, her eyes dropping to his lips. Yes, there were many things to talk about, many questions unanswered, but there had been a need building within her from the moment she saw him. She could see it in his eyes too, the want to be alone.

"I'm surprised it took you this long, princeling," she teased, her voice dropping into a purr that made his eyes flash.

Warmth began to pool in her belly as he leaned down. His hand dropped from her neck to her waist, the blatant possession breaking the fog she had been living with and replacing it with sapphire-colored starlight. He smirked as his lips brushed hers. "It's worth it, the wait for you."

Manon couldn't help herself as she initiated the kiss, closing the distance and tasting home as he responded readily, as hungry as she was. Her hands traveled up from his hips to his neck and the groan he gave her only made her want him closer. She might have said it into the kiss, because Dorian was suddenly picking her up, her legs hooking around his waist as he placed her against a tree.

Manon would have allowed him to take her right there if he wanted to, even with the cold or potentially prying eyes, but he broke the kiss and when she growled in protest he chuckled.

"As much as I would like to have you against this tree," he told her as he pressed his body against hers causing Manon to breath out. "I want to take all the time I need while I worship you."

She went for his face and kissed him again, but it was softer this time, more a promise than anything else. "We do share a room," Manon muttered and the smile he gave her made her consider just stripping off everything right there and then instead of waiting until they got to the room. ________________________________________________________________

Dorian

It was almost painful to extricate himself from her, to place the witch down and settle for holding her hand as they both hurried to the fortress. Dorian took her through the servant quarters, avoiding anyone that came close and stealing kisses as they went as if they were in one of the many romance novels he enjoyed reading.

They had time to themselves until dinner, and Dorian would make sure he spent that time wisely. As they passed the last corner that lead into their room, his mind already coming up with ways to enjoy themselves, Manon suddenly froze. So intense was her change, that Dorian's magic surged as it searched for the source of her fear. Because it was fear that was going through her as she said, "the door is open."

Thinking she could sense someone in there, Dorian used his magic to check ahead, but when he found nothing, he just looked back at her. The witch went for the door and when he followed her in, he finally understood. Although everything in the room was untouched and their things were exactly where they left them, just as the door, the small balcony screen was wide open, the chill air making the curtains rustle.

Manon dropped in front of the small pen she had so carefully prepared that morning, the blankets and toys were tossed around, but the small box filled with hay so that the kitten had a place to relieve itself in the corner was untouched. Only the food was gone, which the kitten had eaten while he and Manon had still been in the room. He remembered they had left the little one cuddled up to a stuffed toy under a blanket, warm and safe.

"We'll find her, alright?" Dorian said as he went to the balcony and prayed the kitten wasn't splattered on the cobblestone below. He rushed back into the room when he saw nothing of the sort or any evidence that the kitten had been out in the balcony at all. "She must be somewhere close."

But Manon wasn't listening and as the king stopped his searching for long enough to notice he knew Chaol had been right. She was on her knees, head tilted down, shoulders in, looking as broken and sad as she had that first night he found her in the aerie next to Abraxos back in Orynth.

His heart broke at the sight, at the thoughts that had filled his mind all day when he saw her smile and joke and wanting him. He shouldn't have let what he saw on the surface fool him. Manon wasn't fine, she was thinner, had gone ahead of her sentinels because she couldn't sleep, and although interested in what ruhkin were doing with the wyverns he had caught her losing focus and being distracted. And although she ate that morning and during lunch the portions had been meager, as if she couldn't bring herself to eat more.

Stupid of him, to ignore it all because he had been living in his own little perfect fantasy. Selfish of him too, especially because what he saw now was a witch who had been walking on glass since she left Orynth and a single wrong step would send her crashing. The kitten going missing was the breaking point.

Determination filled him as Dorian focused. He would help his witchling, and make sure he wouldn't make the same mistake again. Manon's sentinels had been left back at the camp to help with some of the grown wyverns and there had been no guards in front of their room because there had been no one in there to guard. Except for a tiny, very important, kitten. Whatever had happened, there probably hadn't been any witnesses.

So the king reached out with his magic and searched for Yrene with it, letting her know that he needed help with a brush against her own healing magic. He wouldn't leave Manon's side, even when he knew every second counted when it came to retrieving Nieve.

Both Chaol and Yrene came soon after, along with a half dozen guards, and while the healer immediately went to Manon, Dorian quickly explained to Chaol what had happened. The man nodded along with what his king said and Dorian had never loved his brother as much as he did that moment when Chaol only said, "I'll handle it, stay with her." ________________________________________________________________

Chaol

Chaol Westfall did not spend much time observing the witch or the fact that his wife was quietly trying to get Manon to lower her hands from her ears, as if the broken Witch-Queen had wanted to shut all sound out.

He turned to Dorian. "I'll handle it, stay with her."

The king thanked him, relieved, and the Hand didn't think too long on how terrified Dorian was, the concern so deeply etched in his face that Chaol feared the man was already too far down in his love for the witch to get back up.

So, he did what any friend would do. What any brother would do.

He took care of it.

With a quick motion, he ordered all the guards out of the room. Once in the hallway he sent five of the six away in search of the cat. To the last one he asked, "where's my father?"

Because nothing went on in the fortress without his father knowing and the fact that both the door and the balcony screen had been open while nothing had been taken was a clear indication that this entire thing could be internally orchestrated. Despite the letters Chaol, his mother, and brother now shared and even when his father seemed at least pleased that Chaol was about to become a father himself, the man still had plenty of problems that they still had to work on.

Hardly relying on his cane with the surge of Yrene's healing magic coursing through him, the King's Hand practically barreled through the double doors that led to his father's study on the western edge of the complex.

Lord Westfall glared daggers at him as Chaol made his way to the desk. "You may be my son, but barging in like this is-"

"Where's the cat?" Chaol cut in, his voice as sharp as the look he was receiving from his father.

Lord Westfall didn't even bother to look surprised as he asked, bitterly, "what cat?"

Knowing nightfall was approaching and also aware of how this was affecting not just Manon, but her entire kingdom, Chaol cut all corners. "You're going to listen to what I'm about to tell you and you will not, under any circumstances, interrupt me. Am I clear?"

There was pure distaste in his father's eyes, but the man said nothing as he sat back in his expensive leather chair. At least he was willing to listen.

"Manon Blackbeak not only defied and fought against her own people for the good of Erilea and the world, she aided Terassen in its call for help, saved your King on two separate occasions, risked her life multiple times, and was a key player in keeping all of us safe and alive. And because I know your memory seems to fail you in your old age, she also lost her entire family that day and she is still grieving heavily because of it."

He paused to take breath and to also allow the words to settle and permeate.

"So not only is she a new queen of a new kingdom, she also has to deal with uniting a people who had been at war for centuries, protecting her new vulnerable borders, and actively form alliances. She's here to help us, help Adarlan, when she could have refused. And she is doing all this while having lost all twelve of her sisters mere months ago. I know you heard Yrene when she spoke to me this morning on how pets can help tremendously in the grieving process. So, not only do you insult her presence here by telling her animals are not allowed but after knowing how deep her grief is you decide to be the villain and take her cat too?"

Fury danced freely in Chaol's eyes, his hand shaking as he gripped his cane so hard his knuckles were beginning to hurt. Because he knew what pain was, had watched Dorian go through it, Aelin, had experienced it himself while in the southern continent. He was done with it and he was not about to let his own father continue to propagate it.

Lord Westfall's jaw shifted, his teeth gritted, as he took his time arranging the papers on his large mahogany desk and cleared his throat.

When Chaol was about to tell him that he would do nothing to protect him if Dorian came down for a talk later, the man spoke. "I had a servant take the cat to the stables with Her Majesty's wyvern. I'm sure the two beasts are fine."

The King's Hand wasted no time, slamming the door to the study behind him as he practically ran to the stables, ignoring the stinging in his back as he did so. The wyverns all had large open wooden stables built to the north side of the fortress, on the highest elevated part of the structure, and remained free to hunt and roam in the nearby forest for game and, in Abraxos' case, to lay in the new spring flowers that bloomed even in Anielle. The issue with these stables was how cold it could get. While the wyverns enjoyed it, Chaol worried the tiny cat wouldn't be able to survive the temperature for very long.

The man had no need to worry as he spotted Abraxos curled up in the middle of the five stables, the two other wyverns that had come with the witches were busy snoozing closer to the tree line. Unused to being so close to Abraxos, and mindful that his rider wasn't here, Chaol kept his distance as the scarred head turned to him.

"Um, hello Abraxos."

Did wyverns understand? What kind of commands did this ancient animal even know?

"Is the kitten-is Nieve with you?" Please just let the kitten be alive, please.

Impossibly, Abraxos perked at the sound of the cat's name and the wyvern carefully lifted its spread wing to reveal a tiny little bundle curled up against the scale-less stomach. Alive, breathing, and meowing loudly as it spotted Chaol watching even from the relative distance.

"Okay, don't eat me, I just want to take the cat back to Manon, okay?" He told Abraxos, feeling dumb the entire time. "I'm taking Nieve to Manon," he repeated slowly.

That large tail started moving, and Chaol swore the wyvern was watching him in amusement as the man inched forward until he was practically within the stable. Heart beating fast, Chaol muttered about the many ways Dorian would repay him as he took the kitten and backed away like Abraxos might reconsider and take a chunk out of him. ________________________________________________________________

Dorian

It felt like an eternity since Chaol had left with the guards and when he came back. Dorian had felt utterly powerless as Manon had succumbed further into a spiral, looking for all intents and purposes utterly defeated. Not even Yrene's whispers of comfort got through her, and although Dorian wanted to help, he had no idea of what to say, because he recognized the look in her glazed eyes. He had experienced something similar when he lost Sorscha, when he had been trapped by the Wyrdstone collar, a Valg prince inside him.

He had been softly stroking her hair when Chaol rushed in, breathing heavily and leaning into his cane while in his free hand-

Yrene stood up with an 'oh!,' before taking the kitten, tears already forming in her eyes as she went back to Manon and Dorian. The latter spoke. "Nieve's right here, Manon. She's fine and safe. Chaol found her."

Recognizing the witch, the kitten positively screamed, fighting against Yrene and dropping into Manon's waiting hands. As if a veil had been lifted, that beautiful face regained motion and Dorian felt emotion rise within him as he watched her lift the purring kitten and take her close to her chest.

She looked behind them, to Chaol, who was still catching his breath. "Thank you."

Even Dorian smiled at the redness in his Hand's cheeks as the man bowed. "Anytime, Your Majesty." ________________________________________________________________

*'Nieve' is Spanish for 'snow' and is pronounced knee-eh-veh. Within tog the cat isn't a specific breed, but for the sake of how I imagine her, Nieve is a white and gray Siberian Cat, so she's going to grow quite big and fluffy.

Tags: @rufousnmacska (my lovely beta), @awesomelena555, @bookishwitchling  If you’d like to be included in the tags, please let me know!

Thank you! My other Manorian fics.

[authortime]

Wedding Prep.

Post KoA oneshot I wrote for my creative writing class.  I hope you enjoy!

Not edited.

_______________________________________________________________________

Aelin woke with a start.  She had trouble sitting up because Rowan’s muscled arm was wrapped around her waist.  Its heavy weight was familiar and comfortable.  Though at this moment Aelin was anything but.  She was sweaty, anxious, and all she wanted to do was get up.  She shoved Rowan’s arm off and stormed out of their room.  She was a whirlwind of anxiety and hate as she stormed down the palace halls.  The guards looked her way and once they made eye contact with her they immediately looked down.  They had been around the ex-assassin long enough to know to leave her be. Aelin paid their glances no mind as she made her way to the gardens.

Aelin wondered how their destruction of the glass castle didn’t destroy the gardens but as she sat there she was glad they didn’t. The flowers on display were exotic and beautiful.  As she was busy admiring them someone approached.  Expecting it to be Rowan she decides to yell out.

“Come to drag me back Buzzard.” Smirk evident on her face, Aelin hears the figure bark out a familiar laugh. Her expression drops as she realizes that wasn’t Rowan.

“I’d prefer to not fight Rowan so I’ll have to pass on that one,”  Dorian says as he sits down beside her. They both chuckle at the image of the two males fighting. Aelin was still upset from her dream so she opts for silence and Dorian doesn’t want to talk first so a silence settles over the two friends. They sit there in a comfortable silence until the sun was overhead.  It’s heat warming up the pair. They were both unwilling to talk first.  Unwilling to move first.  They knew what this day held and Aelin knew why she was rotted to her spot.  She could only guess why Dorian was reluctant to participate in the wedding though.

Aelin smelled a comforting scent waft her way as a breeze blows through the courtyard. She smiles and Dorian glances at her.  She suspects he believes her to be going crazy.

“If you were planning on trying to scare us you should not be so obvious next time,” Aelin remarks turning her chin up and crossing her arms.  Dorian flinches at her remark and shoots to his feet looking at the fae male that was walking up behind them.

“Calm down Dorian. If I was mad about this I would have gutted you already.  Plus I don’t want to deal Manon’s rath right now,” Rowan says cutting off whatever Dorian was about to say. Aelin refuses to turn around but she sees Dorian walking towards the castle.

“I’ll find you two later,”  Dorian calls out as he hurries off.  Aelin smiles to herself.  Dorian is not subtle when he’s comfortable.  Aelin hears Rowan step closer and she can tell he notices her pointed ears too late to get a shield up.  A wall of scorching hot blue fire appears between the two effectively separating them.  Aelin hears Rowans booming laugh through her wall of fire.  A strong blast of cold wind rips through the garden.

“It’s amusing you think you can keep me away from you Fireheart,” Rowan mocks Aelin as he goes to sit down next to her.  Aelin glares at Rowan, an ugly sneer on her face. Aelin opts for silence deciding to not deign Rowan with a response from her. He just chuckles again before he stands up and grabs Aelin’s wrist to tug her up.  Now standing Aelin follows Rowan back into the castle.  They step over various glass shards that have yet to be picked up. Aelin’s eyes stopped on a particularly bloody shard.  The dark rust color of the long dries blood seemed to hold all her attention.

“You and Dorian had to do it Fireheart,” Rowan tells her when he notices where her gaze lingered. Aelin just clenched a fist at her side feeling the familiar emotions well up inside her. Rowan walks up beside her and slings an arm over her shoulder telling her they need to go inside.  Aelin complies and lets Rowan lead her inside.

The pair had reached their shared room and quickly went inside. Aelin had noticed the time on their walk up there.  It was far too late in the day for them to not yet be ready.  She could only imagine the hell Lysandra would give her for showing up to Elide’s wedding in her current attire. When Aelin told Rowan such he just laughed in her face and began to speed up.  Aelin knew she should not have expected anything else. Rowan would probably show up in training leathers and drenched in sweat if it wasn’t for her.

Aelin was pulling up the red dress she had pulled out last night when she lifted her head and saw what Rowan was putting on.  She screeched telling him that he needed to change right away.  Rowan just stared at her quizzically until Aeling gave up and went searching for a matching set of formal clothes.  She pulled out a pine green and gold tunic.  She instructed Rowan to put it on and keep his black pants on. He compiled without complaint.

“Is there a reason you’ve dressed me in Terrasen green for this wedding?” Rowan asked.  Aelin looked at him. I think you know why. He narrowed his eyes at her. Say it. He tempted her.  Thir door opened.

“I always hate when you guys do that.  It’s so creepy,” Aedion said as he barged into their room unannounced. They both turned to glare at her cousin for interrupting their moment.

“What do you want,” Aelin curtly asked him.  The blonde male looked at her incredulity.

“You do know what time it is right,” he questioned the pair.  It was then Aelin noted how far across the sky the sun was.  She screamed out something about being late before running out of their room and down the hall.

Aelin was sprinting.  She wanted to avoid Lysandra’s wrath at all costs. The image of the sharp fangs of a ghost leopard was the only motivation Aelin needed to run faster.  Practically flying and blur to all who were watching the queen of Terrasen try to be on time. Back in the bedroom Rowan and Aedion were staring out the open door chuckling.

“I’m here,” Aelin shouts as she runs into the girl’s prep room.  Lysandra has sanctioned off the room for all the females to get ready for the ceremony.  The room was spacious bare until recently it was now cluttered with dresses, soaps, shoes, and more all scattered about the room.  When Aelin bust in and announced her presence all the others looked at her exasperatedly. Manon just glanced at the panting queen before going back to sharpening her deadly nails.

“At least you're dressed,” scoffed Lysandra. Aelin just grinned at her friend before walking over to Elide.

“Are you sure about this. I can still get rid of Lorcan for you,” Aelin offered putting her hand on Elide’s shoulder comfortingly. Elide smiled at Aelin used to her offer to “deal” with Lorcan by now.  All Aelin wanted to do was look out for Elide.

“Oh leave her be Aelin,” Lysandra snarks.  Aelin turns to scowl at the shifter. She was about to start a fight when she remembered the time.

“We need to get out there,” Aelin says. Lysandra rolls her eyes at Aelin mumbling about how since she was late she has no room to talk.  Aelin stuck her tongue out at her. Elide slowly stood up.  No wince.  Her limp has healed over the months no longer needing Lorcan’s magic to stabilize it. Elide was over the moon when she realized she would be able to walk normally down the aisle.  Aelin still remembered the smile on her face when she realized that. She couldn't fight the grin that threatened to surface from the memory.

“Let’s go get you married Witchling,” said Manon as she sauntered over to them.  They all grinned at one another before making their way to the doors that would lead them to the aisle. Once they reached the doors Elide got antsy and nervous.

“Lorcan loves you Elide.  He wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t.  Lord Lorcan Lochan is a lot to live with for some you don’t love,” Lysandra reassures the nervous bride. Elide lets out a small laugh at her remark before taking a deep breath and steeling her resolve. The music from inside the room starts. It’s time. She nods at Aelin and the queen only smirks back at her before flinging open the doors in a flourish of purple and golden flames.

[shyvioletcat]

Show Me: Part 6 - Rowaelin

Sorry, I meant to post this on the weekend but I was just crazy exhausted and my writing needed heavy editing. This is the second last part. Next weekend will be the final chapter. I’m actually really excited because I’ve never finished a fic before. Thanks to these lovely people for following and asking to be tagged.

@huntress-of-velaris @aelin-and-feyre @ohmyrowan @viajandosinalas@until-theveryend @rowanismybae @bluephoenix222 @fucking-winchester-trash

Special shout out to @nish247. I think you asked to get tagged ages ago and I forgot. Sorry about that. 

If you want to be tagged or I’ve missed you let me know and I’ll add you to the list. 

~~~~~

Aelin was deflecting, and avoiding, and straight up denying any attempt by Rowan or the others to get her to play the beautiful new instrument that had arrived weeks ago.

Aelin wanted to play, she was yearning for it. But she had had lost count of the many times she sat on the bench and felt nothing. She had tapped at the keys and Rowan had even bought her an array of sheet music, just to give her that extra bit of encouragement. Aelin looked at the notes and at the keys that would bring the music to life but couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

She loved the pianoforte. It made her heart ache at how much thought Rowan had put towards the gesture. She just couldn’t bring herself to play. When Rowan had been in the room during her attempts Aelin saw him become alert, his pine green eyes intent on her. She refused to see them when they fell when nothing became of it.

Besides all that Aelin was tired.

The moments she had sat down at the instrument were stolen between meetings or before she succumbed to complete exhaustion then collapsed into bed. They had been to the theatre a couple of times and each time the music swept Aelin away, but her own expression was a void

Aelin was now hunched over her desk, going over the reports for the upcoming trade agreements with Adarlan. They seemed fair enough, she hadn’t expected Dorian to try and cheat her country of anything, it was practically an agreement between friends. But she needed to be well versed it what was being requested and also given, she didn’t want to seem like a unaware young woman who let those around her run the country. She wanted to show whoever Dorian was going to send that she did her job. And she did her job well.

Finishing the page Aelin lent back in her chair and wondered who in fact Dorian would send. Obviously not Chaol. First of all, Aelin was sure it wasn’t exactly part of his job description. And secondly, he had a small baby. She doubted her loyal hearted friend would want to leave his wife and daughter anytime soon. The thought of Chaol being a father brought a smile to her face. Aelin couldn’t help but smile as she wondered how he  had gone during the birth. Maybe Yrene educated him enough that he was less likely to bolt from the room, red faced when faced with the functionings of the female body.

There was a knock at the door and Aelin called for them to come in. Nox stepped into Aelin’s study and gave a quick bow.

“Majesty, the trade delegation from Adarlan is here.”

Aelin just stared at him for a moment, then tilted her head. “Pardon?”

“The trade delegation. They’ve arrived.”

“They’re no supposed to arrive for days,” Aelin said as she squeezed the bridge of her nose. Then she sighed. Her hands were covered in ink and her clothes were rumpled and a little too casual for meeting an official political delegation. “Thank you, Nox.”

Nox nodded and then left.

Taking one last glance at the trade agreement, Aelin left her study and made her way back to her private chambers to quickly bath and change to officially greet her visitors. She entered her suite of rooms assuming she’d be alone, Rowan was off in the city doing something that didn’t require fine clothes. So when she saw a male figure standing in her lounge area she halted and went for the non existent weapon at her side. Then she realised who it was and let out a broken laugh.

“Dorian?”

~~~~~

Dorian turned as he heard his name and smiled at the Queen of Terrasen. She came out of what he assumed was a defensive stance and walked towards him. He met her halfway with an embrace which she readily returned, they held onto each other tightly for a moment. Aelin’s eyes were shining when she pulled away and Dorian felt emotion rising in his own chest.

“You’re the trade delegation?” Aelin asked as she took him in.

Dorian gave an indulgent shrug, “I wanted to make sure you weren’t taking my country for all it’s worth.”

Aelin laughed, wiping at her eyes . “These surprises will be the end of me.”

Dorian laughed at that and went to say something along the lines of you get what you’re given, but Aelin held up her hand and waved him off.

“I know, I know,” she said, “Rowan’s already lectured me. Multiple times.”

Dorian now took in Aelin as she had him. She looked well. Healthy. But Rowan was right, there was something missing. Just that little spark. He wasn’t surprised, a little concerned maybe, but he was pressed to think of anyone who wasn’t still harbouring some form of scar after the war. Aelin led them to a couch and they sat.

“How’s Chaol? And Yrene? How are you?” Aelin rattled off and she tucked her feet under her, facing him with her arm stretched along the back of the couch.

“They’re both… tired,” Dorian said with a smile. “Myria has her father wrapped around her little finger. Yrene adores watching them together. But a baby is hard work, especially when they’re both working so hard for our country.”

Aelin was smiling, “and?”

Dorian bristled. By that wicked grin he knew what was coming, but decided to bait her anyway. “And what?”

“How are you? How are you… and Manon?”

“I think I’m much like you,” Dorian said. “Tired to my bones, barely a moment of peace. But I am well. As well as I can be.”

Aelin just gave him a long look. It made Dorian laugh.

“Manon is well,” Dorian said with a shrug, “you could ask her yourself. She’s here. That’s how I got here. Much quicker to travel by wyvern”

Aelin’s eyebrows rose in surprise, a knowing smile on her lips.

But Dorian’s face fell when he said, “She’s down on the plain.”

The two friends became quiet at that. Indeed. Everyone was carrying scars.

To make sure Aelin didn’t pry further into his and Manon’s personal life Dorian turned to the pianoforte that had become the feature of the room. He’d seen it before. He was glad it had arrived all the way from Adarlan unscathed.

“That,” Dorian said with a nod to the pianoforte, “is a beautiful instrument. That colour… it’s like whoever commissioned that knew you very well.”

Aelin gaped at him a little and Dorian smiled.

“It was you! You helped Rowan with all of it!” She gave his shoulder a shove. “How did I not think of that before.”

“Most likely because you haven’t had a moment of quiet to think about it. He didn’t tell you?” Dorian asked as he rose from the couch and went to the instrument.

“No,” Aelin replied as she followed. “Rowan said something about a gentleman having his secrets. I reminded him he’s about the furthest you can get from being a real gentleman but he still wouldn’t tell me.”

Dorian sat on the bench and patted the seat next to him, Aelin complied and sat down next to him. “I would say he’s genteel enough.”

Aelin gave a snort of laughter. Aelin still didn’t reach for the keys so he did. With one hand he started to play a simple child’s song.

“I didn’t know you played,” Aelin said, pretended shock in her voice.

“My mother had me take lessons, but I developed other pursuits,” he said glancing at Aelin.

Aelin laughed and gave him a knowing look.

“I was talking about sword fighting, Aelin,” Dorian said.

That only made Aelin laugh harder.

Dorian played the song through again and he noticed how intently Aelin watched his fingers.

“I remember,” Dorian said, playing clumsily through a few notes, “a lovely young woman who could play beautifully. She played in a way I had never heard before, she lived through that music.”

Dorian watched as Aelin’s hand hovered over the keys of then curled into a fist, then she rested it down by her thigh. Dorian stopped playing.

“I… I,” Aelin’s voice broke. “I don’t think that woman exists anymore.”

Dorian looked at Aelin, tears were falling down her cheeks and he rested his hand on her still clenched fist.

“Of course she doesn’t. Either does that boy who was reckless enough to fall for an assassin,” Dorian smiled as Aelin let out a shuddering laugh. “There was no outcome from what we went through that would let us remain whole. Everyone lost a part of themselves, for good or for bad.”

“I know,” Aelin said as she wiped her cheek with her sleeve. “But that part of my soul, my mortal soul, it… died. It held so much of who I was. I want it to be part of me again, I want to feel those things again. But they’re gone.”

Dorian wrapped his arm around his friend, pulling her closer to him.

“I shut off many parts of myself. Buried them so deep it took me a long time to reconnect with those parts. Which I know is nothing compared to what happened to you. But…” Dorian took in a deep breath as he thought of Chaol, of Manon, even Aelin, “But the thing is it took me realising that there is no going back, our only choice move forward and to rediscover or reforge those missing parts of us. I didn’t find myself, I didn’t heal, alone. We’re here Aelin. You ask and any of us will be there for you. Anyone of of your friends, your family, will do anything you ask of us. Just say what you need and it’s yours.”

“I know, I know,” Aelin said quietly. “I just don’t know how.”

Dorian sat there with his arm around his friend, waiting for Aelin to move away, letting her decide when she had taken all the comfort she needed.

It was a long while before Aelin stood up, a small and hopeful smile on her face.

[writinginstardust]

Make It Up To You

Pairing: Dorian Havilliard x reader

Request: anonymous asked ‘Hello!Can I request an imagine where the reader is Dorian's fiancée and end up in a pretty big fight which ends up with Dorian getting soft and crying about how much he loves the reader and doesn't wanna lose her and we get a super fluffy conversation and a sweet Dorian who wants to make it up for the reader?Also some love making would be nice’

Warnings: mentions of infidelity that don’t actually happen, very NON-explicit sex, and the word asshole

A/N: First off: sorry to whoever requested this that it took me so long to get to but I really hope you like it! I’m quite happy with how this turned out really even though I struggled somewhat with it because this isn’t the sort of stuff I usually write if I’m writing anything emotional so that was new but also kinda interesting to try out. Even by my standards I know the title is bad okay? I’m sorry. Idk if there’s really anything else to say, enjoy!

Word Count: 2576

*

“I'm sorry, what!?” (Y/N) couldn't believe what he’d just said to her. 5 years they'd been together, through all the greatest trials of both their lives, and he had the gall to accuse her of that. Granted, only a split second after the words left his mouth regret and shock at them passed over his face, but what little that did to make her feel better was nothing compared to the fact that he'd thought it in the first place.

“(Y/N), I-”

“No. No no no. You don't just get to suggest I'm being unfaithful and then pretend it's nothing! I've been in love with you since I was 16, we've been together for 5 years, and engaged for 6 months and you seriously think you can question my feelings for you? Do you think so little of me that you really believe I might do something like that? With one of our friends no less!”

She was absolutely fuming. How...How could he think that? Even for a moment entertain that possibility? Did he really have that little trust in her? After everything? The realisation that maybe he thought so much less of her than she could have imagined set her world crumbling.

“(Y/N) please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

“Save it Dorian. I can't...I can't listen to this right now.” She started to walk away, too mad to talk to him and knowing she might say something she'd regret if she stayed, but Dorian grabbed her wrist before she could get more than a step away.

“Please, you have to know I don't think that, that I didn't mean it. Don't leave, let's talk about this. I can't...I can't let you think I don't trust you.” Dorian's voice hid none of his distress and the pain in his eyes when she whipped her head back towards him almost dissolved her anger. She gathered her resolve and fixed him with a glare, her voice icy as she spoke.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you accused me of sleeping with Fenrys.” She ripped her arm from his grip and stormed away, already slightly regretting her words. Dorian hadn't actually said that but he'd as good as implied it with his questioning. She had a right to be mad and react somewhat harshly. The man she'd been hopelessly in love with for 8 years had just crushed her with only a few words, that wasn't the kind of thing that allowed for much rationality.

Dorian watched her leave, knowing better than to force her to talk before she was ready. He felt physically sick at what had just transpired, cursed himself for speaking to the most important person in his life as he had.

He'd been scared and jealous and angry at seeing her spend so much time with Fenrys though all three of those emotions he knew to be overractions at nothing. They'd bonded over the course of the war and she'd been one of the few people able to help with his trauma, obviously they had a close friendship and he knew that. But he was beautiful and charming and it was hard not to worry a bit no matter how much he trusted them both. The joy and affection and amount of time they'd spent together since their friends from the north had arrived had dredged up a sliver of fear at losing another person he loved. A sliver of fear that he'd let overrule rational thought. And look at where it had got him.

He collapsed to his knees where he stood in their shared rooms, frustrated tears pouring down his face and between his fingers as he buried his head in his hands. He'd messed up. He'd messed up so badly and he wasn't sure how to fix it.

Chaol found him like that an hour later. His tears had dried but he'd been unable to force himself to move as he let his thoughts and regrets consume him. He might have just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him and that was a thought he just couldn't cope with.

“Dorian? Dorian what's wrong!?”

“How do I fix it?” His voice was quiet and hoarse, barely audible to his friend who had knelt beside him.

“Fix what? What happened?” Chaol's concern was only rising by the second and reached its peak as Dorian turned his tear-stained face to him, eyes puffy and expression lost.

“I ruined everything and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make this all better. I can't...I don't know...I need to fix this but she was so mad. Chaol you should have seen her...I can't believe I did that to her.”

“Dorian, you need to be more specific.”

“I-”

“What did you say to (Y/N)!?” Aelin stormed into the room before he could explain, the fire dancing between her fingers matched by that in her eyes as she stared him down. She was momentarily thrown by his obvious distress but quickly returned to glaring at him.

“Wha-” he was caught off-guard by her appearance.

“Your fiancée has been shouting and crying in my rooms and the only thing Rowan, Fenrys, and I could get from her was something about you being an asshole. So, tell me what you did and what you plan to do to fix it or you and I are going have some problems.”

“Hold on, Aelin. I don't doubt (Y/N) is upset but I'm concerned about Dorian right now too. I think we need to figure out what happened before we start assigning blame.”

“No, she's right to be mad at me, Chaol.” Dorian spoke in a quiet, broken voice as he looked up at his two friends. “It's all my fault.”

“Alright. So with that sorted, care to tell me what on earth you did to leave you both in such a state?” Aelin seemed to have finally remembered that Dorian was her friend too and that maybe she should be a bit more concerned about his own emotional state.

“Just...promise to hear me out and maybe don't set me on fire?” Aelin agreed not to and Dorian finally rose to his feet and shuffled over to a couch, collapsing onto it and burying his head in his hands. He took a deep steadying breath, preparing himself for the disappointment of his closest friends, before finally explaining everything that happened.

“You idiot.” Aelin said when he'd finished speaking.

“I have to agree with you there. Dorian, what were you thinking!?”

“I don't know! I know I messed up but I don't know what to do.”

Aelin sighed and came to sit beside him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder as she tried to help despite the urge to hit him for being so stupid.

“You need to fix this, Dorian, and you need to fix it now. Go and talk to her, I'll get Rowan and Fenrys to leave and give you some privacy but you've got to fix this now.”

“She's right. We can't tell you what to say, you'll have to figure that out yourself, but do whatever you have to to make it right. (Y/N) is the best thing that's ever happened to you and I'm not letting you lose each other.” Chaol fixed him with a stern look that brokered no argument.

“But will she even want to talk to me after what I said?”

“Maybe, maybe not, but you can't leave this for later.”

“She's had an hour to process and was calming down when I left. She may hate you right now but she'll hear you out.” Aelin offered a weak smile before shoving him to his feet and towards the door. “Now let's go.”

Without another word the three left the room and headed to Aelin's, Dorian's heart speeding up with every step closer to (Y/N) as anxiety kicked in. He and Chaol waited before the suite door as Aelin walked in to clear the room.

“Fenrys, Rowan, leave. (Y/N), there's someone who needs to talk to you.” She walked back out a moment later with two murderous fae males following, they glared at him as they passed and Dorian had to swallow a lump of fear that lodged in his throat before finally entering the room himself and shutting the door softly behind him. He turned and saw (Y/N) staring stone-faced at him from across the room.

“Dorian.” not a hint of emotion was betrayed in her voice though he could see her eyes were bloodshot. The sight sent a fresh wave of guilt through him and he almost collapsed to his knees and begged for forgiveness on the spot. She gestured to a couch near her. “Have a seat. Let's talk.”

It took a few minutes for Dorian to figure out what to say during which time (Y/N) said nothing, only studied him and his clear distress over all that had transpired. Her anger towards him had burned out and only embers of it remained as she found it hard to watch him suffering so much and had already decided to forgive him before he came to her. She still wasn’t going to speak first though. She’d see what he had to say first.

“(Y/N), I'm so sorry, about everything. About what I said, about letting my own insecurities cloud my judgement, about-”

“Stop-” Well that didn’t last long.

“-I just- I don't- (Y/N) I love you and I absolutely trust you, you have to know that, I just-”

“Dorian, shut up. I forgive you!”

“-I'm- wait what!?” Dorian's voice, which had started out surprisingly steady but had been getting continuously thicker with emotion, rose dramatically in his shock. (Y/N) smiled softly and reached out to lace their fingers together.

“I said, I forgive you.” She sighed. “Look, I'm still mad but I know you and I know you didn't mean it. I get it too I suppose, I felt insecure about your friendship with Manon for a while but I know it was nothing just like I know you know there's nothing between me and Fenrys. The only difference is that I knew better than to say anything.”

Dorian was completely dumbfounded. Never had he expected her to say that. He’d expected crying, shouting, her telling him to get out and never speak to her again. He’d expected to be crying himself, having to get on his knees and literally beg for her forgiveness. He’d come into this room with promises to make it up to her, with pleas and apologies, all of which he no longer needed. It had definitely thrown him.

“You-you forgive me? Just like that? I-” Tears began to fall from his eyes and he couldn’t find anything to say.

“Yes. Did you even listen to what I said earlier? I’m madly, stupidly, and painfully in love with you, I have been for 8 years now. Of course I’d forgive you. You have a lot of making up to do but I love you far too much not to.”

“I-gods, you’re amazing. I don’t deserve you. At all. (Y/N), I love you so, so much, you really are too good for me, for anyone really, and I will do anything, absolutely anything, to make it up to you and remind you how much I love you. Just tell me what to do.” Dorian had slid off the couch to kneel before her as he spoke, his eyes locked on hers in an attempt to show just how much he meant every word. (Y/N) left her own seat and moved to kneel on the floor as well, the hand not still entwined with his coming to rest lightly on his cheek.

“I’ll have to think about that but a kiss would be a good start.” Her smile was soft but the glint in her eye was pure mischief and Dorian felt his mood lift dramatically at the sight of it.

“Well, far be it for me to refuse.” He grinned himself as he leant in to softly press his lips to hers. After the emotional ride of the last hour the feeling was a relief for her and she felt like everything would be okay as long as he kept kissing her. When Dorian moved to pull back after just a couple of seconds, (Y/N) scowled at him.

“What makes you think we’re done?” She asked.

“Oh we’re not, I just think that maybe we should continue this in our own room.” A look of realisation dawned on her face and she looked around quickly, noting everything that was clearly not theirs, and coming to the conclusion that they weren’t in fact in their own room.

“Ah. In that case…” She trailed off as she stood and pulled him to his feet along with her before walking to the door.

It didn’t take them long to get back to their room and no sooner had the door shut than Dorian’s lips were back on hers. He was gentle with her but poured every ounce of love he had into the kiss and it wasn’t long before she was gasping for breath. Reluctantly she pulled away and Dorian didn’t hesitate to trail feather-light kisses along her jaw and down the elegant curve of her neck causing little sighs to escape her.

“Dorian...please…” she breathed out, tugging on his hair to lift his head and reconnect their lips. She opened her mouth to the light, probing pressure of Dorian’s tongue and melted into him the moment he took full advantage of the access he’d been granted. His hands on her waist gently guided her backwards across the room and towards their bed his lips not faltering for a moment against hers.

“Is this helping to remind you how much I love you?” Dorian whispered against her lips once they were comfortably situated on the bed with him hovering carefully over her.

“It’s starting to, I think something more may be required to properly jog my memory though.”

“I think I can help with that.” He smirked before once again capturing her lips. His kisses were slow and languid like he was taking the time to explore and discover her all over again. He was in no rush, as far as he was concerned they had all the time in the world and he was going to spend all of it doing just this.

At some point, what might have been hours later for all the time Dorian decided to take, the layers of clothes between them disappeared and Dorian set to showing her just how much he loved her in every way he could right then. (Y/N)’s gasps and breathy moans filled the room between kisses as their bodies moved in a slow synchronicity that only years of intimacy could achieve, the only words on Dorian’s lips her name and half-formed attempts at ‘I love you’’s. Under his expert touch she could hardly remember what led them here and she found that for now she didn’t care. She knew she’d remember at some point but knowing nothing but the man here with her was enough so she’d happily forget for a night and bathe in the affection he was more than happy to shower her with.

[dawninlatin]

Tell me a story

Part of the Manorian Teacher AU. This one takes place only months after “Online classes are the worst. 

Words: 2676

AO3 Link

Link to my masterlist and the other parts of the Teacher AU

A/N: It feels so good to write for this AU again, and this part might just be my favourite yet, so I hope you enjoy it<3 

Feel free to leave a comment or some constructive criticism or whatever;)

I also am aware that the timeline in this AU doesn't make sense, but it's summer and I have forgotten math, so we'll just ignore that:))

Peace&Love<3 -Dawninlatin

It was on a warm July evening that Manon Blackbeak declared to no one in particular that she was done being pregnant.

Only moments later, her asshole of a boyfriend decided to crush all her hopes and dreams by walking into their bedroom and saying, «You still have three months left, babe.»

Not deeming him worthy of a verbal response, Manon instead grabbed the nearest pillow and hurled it across the room with full force, not that it was much these days. Gods, she was so tired.

The pillow didn’t even make it all the way to Dorian, instead it landed with a weak thump by his feet, and Manon let out a frustrated sigh as he made his way over to her, taking the pillow with him and placing it back with the many, many others.

Manon was nestled on their bed, amongst the horde of pillows, all of them meticulously placed to create the perfect position, the only way she could sleep with a two pound human being inhabiting her body.

«Don’t worry, those three months will be over before you know it,» Dorian tried to comfort, picking up a discarded t-shirt and pulling it over his bare chest. His inky black hair was still wet from the shower he’d just had.

«That’s easy for you to say,» Manon mumbled, crossing her arms.

Something in her expression made Dorian pause, a guilty look on his face. «You’re right, it is easy for me to say. How are you?» He sat down on the bed, and Manon took in the pleasant smell of men’s soap.

«Exhausted,» she sighed, rubbing her swollen belly. Manon didn’t know how she could take three more months of a constantly bloated and aching body. Already she felt as if she could burst at any moment, and bigger would she get. None of her clothes fit, so she had simply taken to just wearing Dorian’s. Then there was the fact that she had to pee every ten minutes, and she still got nauseous, even if she was far past her first trimester, and no matter what she ate, she was kept up half the night by heartburn.

Yet the physical exhaustion was nothing compared to the emotional fatigue. All the hormones heightening her every emotion, and it completely drained her. She got incredibly angry and frustrated by the littlest things, and she cried. All. The. Damn. Time.

The fact that they were in the middle of a pandemic, and that the world was falling apart around her didn’t exactly help. Manon didn’t take well to spending all her days cooped up in their small house. She wanted to go out and do something. Instead she spent all her days inside, watching crappy TV, trying to ignore how helpless she felt.

Manon truly envied Dorian’s ability to sit down with a book and wholly disappear in it. Sometimes he stayed in that bubble of his for hours, paying no mind to the world around him.

All of this felt like some sick, twisted, alternate reality where everything was well on its way to hell. And for her part, it had began with a positive pregnancy test.

The baby had been a shock to them both. After feeling sick for a few weeks, Manon had taken a test just to rule it out. She hadn’t expected to find two pink lines staring back at her. Kids had never been part of her ideal future, but as she saw the positive test, as she saw how excited Dorian got, no matter how much he tried to hide his joy, she couldn’t stop picturing them as a family. Couldn’t stop picturing a small child with Dorian’s blue eyes and inky black curls and irresistible charm. Deep down, she wanted them to share this together. And Dorian would make a great father. Manon on the other hand…

Quarantining made it even harder for Manon to deal with her pregnancy. How was she supposed to enjoy this, supposed to create a bond with her unborn child when all her time was spent inside, isolated, silently panicking over the state of the country? She didn’t get to stroll around shops, buying cute baby clothes, didn’t get to visit friends and family, sharing this journey with them. Manon had been to one ultrasound, and Dorian hadn’t even been allowed with her. The worst of it all was that she felt like a selfish, whining bitch for being sad about it all.

Now that summer vacation had started, she didn’t have work to look forward to either. As a science teacher, there was nothing she was more passionate about than her job. A few weeks back, she’d had to say goodbye to her graduating seniors over a fucking video call. It had taken all of her stubbornness and unrelenting will-power to not burst into tears in front of them. They didn’t know she was currently a hormone-filled mess. Gods, how she would miss those brilliant young minds that annoyed her to no end. She’d never tell them that, of course. She had a reputation to uphold after all.

But without the distraction of her work, she’d had to take up other hobbies to busy herself. Yesterday, Manon had cried her way through an entire season of ‘Our Planet’ while knitting a blanket for their baby. Knitting, of all things! It had quickly become an obsession, and truth be told, she was excellent at it, but it was something Manon had never imagined she’d be filling her time with. Maybe this was what they called nesting?

Her thoughts were interrupted as she noticed Dorian moving down the bed and settling with his head next to her belly. He had a book in his hand, one he’d pulled out from their crowded bookshelf. It was thin with a picture of a sweet-looking dragon on the front. Manon also noticed how old and worn-out it was, the spine barely binding it together.

Dorian cleared his throat, turning to the first page, and Manon let out a confused chuckle. «What are you doing?»

«That weird pregnancy app I downloaded told me that our baby can register sounds from outside now, so I’m reading them a bedtime story.» He looked at her as if it was obvious that’s what he was doing. Then he turned his head back towards her belly, his voice turning high-pitched. «And you better get used to it, dude…or dudette, ‘cuz I’m gonna read you a story every night from now on.»

Manon tried to control her laughter, but his baby-talk, mixed with the ridiculous look on his face made it very hard to hold it in. She laughed even more as he kept going. «But if I’m gonna read to you, your mommy needs to stop laughing at me! Yes she does!»

Hearing herself referred to as someones ‘mommy’ made her chest tighten uncomfortably, but no matter how wrong it sounded, she ignored it for now. For Dorian’s sake. Instead, she chose to mask her fear and doubt with flirty banter, as usual. «If you’re spending the entire evening in my lap, you might as well go a little lower and put that mouth of yours to good use.»

«MANON!» he chastised, playing the perfect role of a disappointed parent. Dorian placed both his hands on her belly, as if covering a pair of ears, and said in a hushed voice, «There are children present!»

Chuckling, Manon answered, «That’s not what you said last night when you-»

«CHAPTER 1!»

As she beheld the exaggerated look of shock and horror on his face, Manon failed to hold in her cackling laughter any longer.

-

Manon had closed her eyes long ago, simply enjoying the sound of Dorian reading one of his favourite books to their unborn child.

He was a natural at storytelling, his tone eager, making up different voices for each character, giving life to it. Manon knew he would make an excellent father. Could already picture him with their child, reading them books, tucking them into bed at night, soothing them after a nightmare.

Whenever she tried to picture herself as a mother, the only image coming to her mind was the image of her grandmother, the woman that had raised her, the woman that had made Manon’s childhood a living hell. Who was she trying to fool? She knew nothing about motherhood!

As she kept spiraling, tears began to sting in her eyes. Manon tried to stop them to no avail. She sniffled, and the noise got Dorian’s attention. Turning his head, he found her shaking with silent sobs.

«Manon? What’s wrong?» He rushed to her side, the book completely forgotten. He pulled her to him, stroking up and down her arms, and the loving gesture only made her cry harder.

«Talk to me, love,» he whispered against her hair.

But how could she? How could she possibly express everything she was feeling? All the fear and doubt. And Dorian was so excited, Manon didn’t have the heart to take that joy away from him by telling him how she really felt about all of it.

Instead, she voiced the one question that had been playing at the front of her mind for months now. «Do you think I’ll be a good mom?»

«Oh, Manon.»

Her breaths came in choking gasps, and no matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn’t get enough air.

«Breathe,» Dorian tried to soothe, running his hands up and down her back in long, calming strokes. Manon let her forehead fall to his shoulder, clutching his shirt.

«I just-» she began, but she didn’t know what came next. Drawing a ragged breath, she tried again, «I have no idea what I’m doing! Like, do you know all the ways a baby can die? You hold it wrong and it breaks! And I have no idea how to be a mother! None! Everyone says they’ll be different than their own parents, but in the end they end up the same, and I know I will be just like my grandmother! I can’t do this! I can’t-» Her words turned into a heartbreaking sob.

«Look at me,» Dorian said, taking her face in his hands. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks, wiping away her tears only for more to follow. «Do you think I will be just like my father?»

His question took her by surprise, enough that she regained some control over her breathing. «Of course not!» Manon blurted out, wiping her eyes. «You’re nothing like him!»

«Exactly, and you’re nothing like your grandmother,» Dorian said firmly. Manon started shaking her head, but he grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.

«I know you’ll be a great mom.» She was about to protest, but Dorian beat her to it. «You’ll make our child feel so safe, and loved, and supported, no matter what.»

«Dorian-» Her words died on her tongue as she saw how he looked at her, his eyes shining with love and adoration.

«You wanna know how I know that?» He pressed a kiss to her temple. «Because that’s how you make me feel, every single day.»

Dorian laid down, pulling her with him so that she lay with her head on his chest, feeling his heart beat, a steady rhythm that grounded her. Tears kept streaming down her cheeks, but her breathing had gone slow and even.

Manon broke the silence by whispering, «I’m so lucky to have you.» Dorian hummed in response.

They nearly fell asleep like that, until Manon suddenly spoke, her cracked voice startling Dorian in the process. «Will you keep reading? I wanna know how the story ends.»

This brought a huge grin to his face, and Dorian gladly slid back down to her belly, kissing it once, before picking up his discarded book. Manon settled back against her pillows while he skimmed to the right page.

Dorian cleared his throat once more, and picked up where he left, telling the story about a small, brave dragon that would much rather spend his days in fields of flowers than fighting wars.

-

«The end,» Dorian finished at last, a yawn escaping Manon’s lips.

«I liked this one,» Manon whispered. «You’re a great storyteller.» Dorian closed the book and sat up, a strange look on his face.

His eyes softened, and he said, «It’s not done yet.»

Manon’s face shifted into a confused expression, but Dorian didn’t explain further, simply placed the book on the nightstand, taking her in with burning intensity.

Outside, it had gone dark, the only source of light being the string lights that hung from the ceiling. They cast a soft, golden glow over the room, making Dorian look ethereal. He drew a ragged breath, before speaking, his voice quiet, «And as the lost man finished telling his story, he looked down at the love of his life, her white hair shining like liquid moonlight, her golden eyes glowing brighter than any star. He laid down next to her, face to face, took her hand in his, and asked, his heart ever so hopeful, ‘Will you marry me?’»

Manon couldn’t believe this was happening, her eyes widening in shock. Not pulling her gaze away from Dorian��s, the man she loved more than she could fathom, could ever put into words, she managed to choke out, «You- You’re asking me to marry you?»

«I am,» he whispered back, brushing a few loose strands of hair away from her face. «Wait a second, will you,» he blurted out, turning towards his nightstand and opening the drawer. «I actually have a ring,» he continued while rummaging around for it, his voice frantic.

«Got it,» Dorian said, facing her again. He inhaled once more, bracing himself. «I’ve had this ring for a while actually. I bought it straight after our first date, because I knew, already then, that there were no one else I’d want to spend my life with. You’re the love of my life, Manon. You’re my best friend, my equal, my everything, and I would be honored if I would also be able to call you my wife.»

How much love could a heart take before it would burst? Manon wondered to herself.

Flustered, Dorian kept talking, kept rambling, and damn her if it wasn’t the most adorable thing she had ever witnessed. «I had planned this big proposal with a candle lit dinner and roses and every other cliché ever invented, and you deserve so much more than this,» he gestured to them, to their bedroom, «but I couldn’t wait any longer, and-»

«No, it’s perfect,» Manon interrupted, shaking her head in disbelief as she took in the gorgeous ring. It was a thin, golden band with a simple, turquoise stone. It was really just perfect, all of it. Yes, she was in her - no, actually his - worn out pajamas, her hair pulled into a messy bun, her face bare, without any makeup, but it was perfect. She couldn’t have imagined it any different.

«Is that a yes then?» Dorian asked, his voice full of hope.

«Yes,» Manon laughed, and at the enormous grin appearing on her fiancé’s face, she burst into tears. «Those damn hormones,» she managed to choke out in between sobs, letting out an incredulous laughter.

Though this time it wasn’t purely the hormones’ fault. She had never felt so loved, and she knew Dorian felt the same way, because his own eyes were also lined with silver, mirroring her own.

After he put the ring on her finger, she pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing her lips to his. As they laid there, Manon took Dorian’s hand, placing it on her belly, where their child, their baby, had begun kicking ferociously. He gasped as he felt the fluttering kicks, and she couldn’t help but smile at the look of awe on his face. How right it felt, to be three. A family. Manon marveled over the feeling, something settling deep inside her.

Maybe the future wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[propshophannah]

Hi, so I’m not super sure what I’m trying to say but I’m feeling down abt some manorian posts I saw. It’s prob really dumb but I get like upset/sad when blogs I like a lot love everything SJM but then say they’re anti one of her ships. I’ve criticized SJM’s writing & there r ships I don’t particularly like...but I’d never say I was anti one of her ships? Idk. Maybe I’m just confused/sad abt why ppl who love SJM choose that word when it carries a lot of baggage in fandoms. idk. I was just 1/2

feeling kinda sad about it. I also saw ppl I respect a lot saying manorian isn’t a ship cuz they don’t say I love you/show PDA/only have sex. I was just…really hurt by that? It felt like they were saying ppl had to act a certain way for their feelings or relationships to be valid. I don’t think they meant to be offensive(?) they just didn’t realize they were marginalizing a lot of ppl & cultures that show affection differently. idk. It made me really sad & I’m not sure what to do. 2/2

—

Hi Nonnie, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this ask and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad and confused. I want you to know that what you’ve brought up here is not dumb. Your feelings are valid and important! I’ll try to address your ask as best I can.

About fandom use of the term anti.

You are not alone in finding this odd or discouraging. I’ve seen stuff like this from time to time on “pro” blogs and found myself thinking the same exact thing. I’ve had a lot of conversations with people about it, too. It does seem like there could be a better way to phrase ship criticism or dislike of something other than to use the word anti because you’re right, it does carry a lot of baggage.

To play the devil’s advocate, I think it’s really important to remember that context is key. Just because a fandom blog you love says they’re “anti” something doesn’t mean they’re using the term in the same way Official Anti Blogs use it. (As I write this, I’m wondering if I’ve ever used it to express dislike, not realizing how it could come across!) It could be a joke you’re not in on, or phrasing used because the blogger was rage posting (we’ve all been there) and that was the phrase that validated their feelings in that moment, or it could be that they used that phrase without thinking about how it might come off to their followers.

Have you tried asking the blogger about it? Maybe just send a quick note about how it made you feel. They might not realize how it comes off. This could give you an opportunity to feel as though you’ve been heard and it would allow the blogger the opportunity to explain why they chose that phrase. I think you should ask them, Nonnie! Just because there are a lot of reasons someone might choose that phrase that don’t necessarily mean they are against SJM, or only pro the things they like about her writing and against everything else.

Now that’s not to say that a blog can’t be pro SJM and still be anti something about her books or (as you said) criticize her work. And if that’s the phrase they choose to use then there isn’t much we can do about it. We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves. So maybe, you don’t follow that blog anymore, or you remind yourself that they’re still a great blog, but one you disagree with on word choice and topics.

About PDA and relationship validation.

I actually love that you brought this up because this is a conversation I’ve been having a LOT lately. There have been a handful of posts or comments on posts lately where things like PDA etc. were used to lessen or invalidate Manon and Dorian’s relationship and it just left an icky feeling with a lot of people.

I should be VERY clear here. I DO NOT think the people who use PDA as an argument for invalidating a ship realize they’re marginalizing people, or are being offensive when they do this. I think it’s more that they’ve just never been in a position where they were asked to think about it that way. The normative category is by definition ignorant of itself, right? Like, even I had a hard time figuring out why some of these arguments left a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn’t until after I’d talked to a few people that I was able to really figure it out.

But you’re right! Not everyone expresses affection by exhibiting normative displays of romantic love (such as hand holding, cuddling, kissing etc.). Some people aren’t capable of those things, don’t like those things, or they just choose to express affection differently (maybe by validating someone’s feelings, keeping them safe, being present, providing for them in small ways like making dinner or folding their person’s laundry etc.).

And I think the best/most relevant point you make, is that some people don’t come from cultures that normalize PDA. Western cultures show affection VERY differently than Eastern cultures.

Recently I watched a CNN special on Japan that talked a lot about this idea of “sexlessness” and how culturally the Japanese don’t show a lot of affection, specifically touch affection (hugs, kisses, hand holding after marriage etc.). It was fascinating and I’d argue that the idea of cultural differences TOTALLY APPLIES to the Ironteeth in ToG. We don’t know a lot about their culture, but we do know that affection in any form is frowned upon and discouraged. So if we consider how Manon grew up thinking she was incapable of love/displaying loving or kind emotions (and subsequently beaten/abused for displayed them) it’s not hard at all to see how it would take her a lot of time (and deprogramming) to be able to show and express those kinds of emotions.

This is her ENTIRE character arc, right? From the very moment she appeared on page, she told us how heartless she was, while simultaneously showing us how heartless she was not. (I mean, helloOoOo Abraxos!) Her first “I love you” always belonged to him. But she didn’t need to say it for us to know she loved him. It was there the whole time in her actions. Same with the Thirteen. Manon loved them dearly. They were her sisters, her family. And just because she never told them “I love you” doesn’t mean she didn’t love them. I have plenty of friends whom I love very deeply who I’ve never said I love you to. I likewise have lots of friends who I have said it to. Also, it’s easier to tell a pet/animal that we love them rather than risk saying it to a person, right? Animals aren’t going to judge or reject you—or even verbally respond. Therefore, it’s a low risk endeavor. (Not to say I think this is the only reason she said it to Abraxos!)

My partner and I are not into PDA. At all. Sometimes, if we’re in a group of close friends or family I may be more into showing touch affection, but usually we save those moments for private. There have been MANY times when we’ve been out and people have hit on my partner because they honestly don’t know we’re together. And I don’t get mad/jealous or physically stake a claim or anything when this happens. I let my partner handle it. We just aren’t into sharing our intimate moments with other people. It’s for us only.

So I totally understand how an argument based on PDA can be really hurtful or potentially offensive. Especially when the argument ignores the great moments of communication we get with manorian. As if communication is less important to relationships than PDA…

I also see nothing wrong with casual sex, though I don’t see manorian as having had casual sex (even before the “stay” scene where they clearly did more than just sex). I think they both talk a big game about how the sex didn’t mean anything, but if that were true then why wouldn’t Dorian pursue Vesta? Why would the idea of Dorian with another person make Manon jealous? I feel like they both wanted to pretend like The Sex didn’t mean anything, but I read two people, who weren’t able to verbalize their feelings for one another, finding a shared safe space that was free of responsibilities and the horrors of war where they could be with one another and express their feelings the only way they could at that moment in time. (Which is another reason the “stay” scene stands out.)

TL;DR

A good friend of mine is not monogamous at all. She’s in a relationship with a married man (who’s in an open relationship with his wife). They’re bf and gf and she tells me how they say I love you to one another, take trips together, have AMAZING sex, he writes her the most beautiful love letters, they go on dates—they do EVERYTHING couples do. Except he’s married and they’re both sleeping with other people.

And sometimes it’s HARD for me to figure out where to put this in my brain because I grew up with a specific set of parameters that defined what a relationship was supposed to look like. Sometimes I get confused about how he also loves his wife, sometimes I get confused about how my friend knows their relationship is real. Like it’s hard because it challenges societal expectations of what relationships look like.

I think that happens sometimes with ships in books—or with anything in life that we don’t understand. When something is different than what we expect or are used to, it can kind of…blind us to what’s there. If it still bothers you, Nonnie, you could try explaining your side to these people and start a dialogue? It might actually be really helpful for you and them! Give it a try and let me know!