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[oh-saints]

airport

rúben planned the trip to end up with sliding the 4-carat diamond ring he hid in his back pocket onto his girlfriend’s finger. spoiler: they broke up instead. and now the footballer was stuck in the airport until the bad weather cleared off. lovely, isn’t it?

rúben dias x female!OC

word count: 5.6k

note: happy new year to everyone but especially my boyfriend who’d once asked if i could make something out of our first meeting (i did meet him on a plane) so here it is! [thanks for breaking my writer’s block & enjoy ruben as he’s the only one you’d let me cheat on you with.] as usual, i happen to always write around dawn so ofc this is not beta-read but feedbacks are always welcome!

sorry bro, the ENTIRE city’s closed until the sandstorm goes away.

rúben groaned as the notification bar showed his manager’s newest message. things went spiralling down the drain so fast in the last 24 hours, his head couldn’t wrap up which one’s reality and which one’s not. he just wanted to go back home as soon as possible and throw himself to work—the only reality he knows very much real and sane—the very next day.

but they got to have a fucking massive sandstorm on the day he was returning to manchester.

rúben’s mood went from very bad to super sour in a split second.

he wouldn’t be like this, though, if his girlfriend of 2 years said yes to him last night, when he popped the million-dollar question every woman would love to hear from him, on the very place they met the first time. it didn’t make sense to him at all as to why she flat-out said no to him and scurried off like she’d caught fire on her ass when 2 days before flying out to their beautiful destination, they’d been seriously—and positively at that—talking about the possibility of marriage.

was it too fast? nothing was too fast, at least for rúben’s standard. if she was keen on spending the rest of her life with her, as she proclaimed to be, they could discuss more possibilities of what happens in their household as they go. no?

rúben had, in fact, contacted her to come back to the spacious villa he’d rented over the weekend so they could sit down and run over this like a pair of adults. after all, it always takes 2 to tango in a relationship—whatever relationship it is. rúben was willing to apologise first for acting rash, if it was the case, and made amends to what he did but instead, he found out she blocked him on every communication channel they used 15 minutes after he sent his first train of messages post-refusal.

maybe she wasn’t ready to talk it out like a mature adult solving problems. maybe she wasn’t the adult he was expecting her to be. maybe she wasn’t an adult at all.

his head was heavy and throbbing, his heart was pounding irregularly, his breathing was shallow. he wanted to scream out whatever he was feeling inside, in hope it could lessen the inexplicable emotion and the bitter taste left in his mouth.

the sound of a crying baby from afar nearly split his skull to pieces like he was being thrown a nuclear bomb.

he should’ve listened to what his brother said this morning; to not delay his departure after such a disastrous ending to yesterday’s evening. he should’ve taken the offer of flying private his brother could easily pull off with a call, if only the idea of being confined inside the small plane alone appealed to him.

he had the luxury, why bother flying couch?

it was the very question rúben had been dying to ask himself. was the loud noise of the crowd the one he looked for to drown in all the voices in his head, the very one kept asking and blaming himself of the outcome his relationship didn’t work well? was the uncomfortable plane seat the one he was searching for to ease off the niggling ache of his heart?

wait, since when was rúben gato dias a sappy boyfriend?

he knew he wasn’t heart-broken—it would’ve hurt him even more than what he was feeling—so he knew he’d survive this. give him time to work tirelessly and it would be the same as when a smoker puffed his nicotine intake out of his lungs. quick and easy to forget. but until this damn sandstorm walked away from the surface of the earth, would there be anything to distract him? anything to make his day at least better by a miniscule?

“sorry, is this seat taken?”

rúben looked up at the feminine voice, the difference to other hushed voices in the hustle-bustles of the airport was striking. a good surprise, as he could direct focus on his brain to be towards this lady instead of pondering endless what-ifs in his head, but a surprise nonetheless.

rúben wondered how she could ask such inquiry without a hint of questioning tone; she was all smiles, borderline confident the seat across him was vacant, but it didn’t come off as annoying. she was friendly, for the lack of words, and rúben sensed she’d only want to have a seat, as the café they were in was packed with people affected by the sandstorm.

so rúben shook his head to answer her question before unlocking his phone to let his family know he wouldn’t be coming back as scheduled. but as he was placing his fingers over the keyboard on his phone, he sensed someone was watching him, it wasn’t intently but it was enough for rúben to not ignore it.

the woman was still standing in her place, her hand remained on the skeleton of the chair. the smile faltered a little, however. “do you mind, though, if i sit here?”

rúben casted a glance up to meet her eyes once more, half confused as to why she didn’t sit on the chair in front of him right away—unlike what he expected her to be—another half was confused about her question in general. rúben couldn’t recall his memory of a time someone bothered to ask such thing to him, or any other person, regarding an unoccupied chair.

and weirdly enough, the woman had asked the question with an underlying concern behind her tone. as if it truly mattered to her about what he thought; that if he wasn’t comfortable enough sharing the space with her, she’d gladly move somewhere else rather than having her presence rubbed him off the wrong way.

was him sulking that palpable to everyone else in the room?

“no, please,” rúben managed to give her a tiny, pressed smile—the best he could muster with the energy he had left—and gestured his hand to show he didn’t mind her, in hope she’d feel more comfortable around him. after all, they might be spending the next several hours face to face. “go ahead.”

the smile went up a couple of watts again, and her relief unknowingly relieved something inside rúben too. “thanks.”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

rúben thought he would be spending his spare time bored as hell but boy, did the mother earth prove him wrong.

they didn’t share any words after their last interaction; rúben busied himself with his phone, the woman straight away pulled out her laptop and a notebook. the silent went on for at least 30 minutes before he noticed the woman going mildly berserk with whatever she was writing on the white paper from the corner of his eyes. hands furious, brows knitted together, eyes blazing crazy let-me-prove-you-wrong determination, lips bitten down white.

suddenly she went deflated like a swimming tube losing pressure, sighing so hard it blew the poor paper over. eyes closed in resignation, lips pouted deeply, valour escaped her entire being. she then stared at the numbers she scribbled down for a full minute, like it’d mean something to the eyes now devoid of everything, before starting to start afresh on another page of white.

scratched couple of number, jotted something else. a dozen times with a dozen of different facial expressions before she finally surrendered to whatever it was. secretly, rúben enjoyed the mini show the woman opposite him had been presenting. it reminded him of a pantomime show at a circus—entertainment of various expressions without words—but in a good way. but at that point, he was more concerned she was going to join another baby who was wailing from another side of the café.

so he decided to buy her one of the cake on display, in hope it could cheer her up, as well as apologising for the hostility he displayed the first time the fate introduced them to each other. maybe as a gratitude on the side too, rúben realised as he went on, that she was simply existing. in the rúben’s world, where everyone and everything almost felt intrusive and overwhelming at the same time all the time as they disregarded his privacy, people rarely ever did something without a hidden agenda.

maybe it was a huge leap of faith on itself but what did he get to lose now when it felt like it had been that way since last evening?

the moment rúben slid the small white plate towards her direction, those expressive eyes flashed him unspoken confusion. he couldn’t help but wonder what else and how far those orbs could convey words without words.

“you look like you need it,” rúben regained his place in front of her once more. “i hope you’re not allergic to chocolate.”

the gratitude gleamed from the same eyes—and she made sure he looked at it—threw him off guard, to be honest. he was expecting her to say something along the lines he said to her, not puss-in-boots eyes. “thank you soooooo much! you don’t know how much this means to me,” she picked up the utensils in a rush, eyes devouring the praline cake already. “i was actually thinking of buying you a coffee or something because i can be handful when i’m working.”

she was afraid she’d disturb his peace, on top of being scared she’d take up too much of his space earlier, when she barely made noise? but before he could voice out his curiosity, she handed him the fork, already scooped up with a cut piece of the chocolate dessert.

“where i grow up, we always hand the first cut to the person we’re thankful of,” she answered the question underneath the look he threw her. it amazed him that it didn’t take her five seconds to figure them out. “otherwise it’s considered rude.”

her way of thinking intrigued rúben immensely immediately, so he decided to ride off the high wave. “i hate to break it to you but my job requires me to clean healthy until i retire.”

“what the hell…” the face she pulled on resembled a famous are-you-kidding meme he usually found on his social media timeline and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “i hope they compensate you well.”

rúben was about to throw a banter into equation but she stepped her foot on the throttle before he could. “what do you do for a living, if you don’t mind me asking? because i can’t think of a job that has strict and painful criteria like that.”

the footballer stared her down, a bit intensely this time in hope he could break off her character, should she turn out to be a deceit. this was one of the classic trick in the book; fake it till you make it. shockingly, she didn’t waver under his pressure and continued looking at him expectantly, like a student waiting for his professor to answer their question.

“i’m an athlete.”

it took her 10 seconds to digest he wasn’t kidding, that sports industry actually was that rigorous. she went white in aghast. “no way.”

rúben was stunned that she was stunned at his admission. “i don’t look like one, huh?”

“i was expecting you to say you’re a model or something.”

this time, the footballer couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. “is it too late to say that i model too sometimes?”

“you’re joking.”

the mirth and amusement stayed behind in rúben’s eyes as he shook his head one more time to answer her doubt. because heck, this woman deserved more than just a slice of praline cake for grazing her refreshing existence in rúben’s world.

“i’m so googling you,” the woman pulled her laptop closer, fallen papers be damned. “when you’re an athlete but you have modelling gigs already, you must be a hotshot.”

“eh, hotshot would be an overstatement.”

the woman shot him an incredulous look. “that’s exactly what a damn good athlete would say when praised. but drop your name, mister, so we can test out if it’s over or understatement.”

“the name’s rúben dias but at this point, i’m just flattered you consider me a hotshot,” and rúben wasn’t lying. he knows when a woman says one’s hotshot. “i can now rest in peace.”

“i can’t be the first one to call you—holy fuck,” her eyes enlarged so wide he was afraid it might pop out soon and dropped down to the gaping mouth. “you play for manchester city?”

she seethed an emotion he couldn’t recongise as she spelled out the name of the club he was now representing, and rúben detested the feeling already. one when he couldn’t pinpoint what she was feeling or thinking from what her facial features were displaying. “uh, i hope you’re not a manchester united fan.”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

praise the gods above, she wasn’t.

unfortunately, her ex-boyfriend was. it was how she’d come to know the world of football, including but not limited to his current club. she stopped watching when she got accepted for her job; the very reason she was flying out today of all days.

rúben learnt her name was adriana and she was a petroleum engineer, which explained a lot to her condition. the reason she broke up with her ex was due to the long distance and lack of communication. (in her defence, she couldn’t work on it because how am i supposed to search for another source of signal when i’m like one hour away from the nearest land?) the lack of signal resulted any form of entertainment to get limited, thus her not being able to watch football despite growing fond of it as the years went by. the last time she watched anything football-related was before the season 2019/2020 started off, and it showed why she wasn’t able to recognise his face.

but the work she was currently doing wasn’t something rúben regretted out of her job, unlike her ex, because he truthfully couldn’t imagine the boredom he’d have to go through if she wasn’t stuck with him in this sandstorm. if it wasn’t because of a work emergency that came up 2 days prior, he wouldn’t have discovered the world of engineering. she was forthcoming enough when he asked the details in what she does on daily basis, even went as far as showing the source of her mental breakdown earlier—which coincidentally confirmed his guess and he couldn’t contain the butterflies in his stomach for nailing the bull’s eye.

despite coming from 2 different worlds, literally and figuratively, rúben thoroughly enjoyed the endless conversations that flowed between them. it went from their jobs, to football in general, to f1 talks, to music, movies. she was genuinely curious to the healthy eating he’d been doing for years, he was equally interested about the things she did to pass time when staying on the off-shore facility or about the things she had to do to survive when a hurricane or some sorts came crashing down her unusual accommodation. she intended to download all his netflix recommendation before all earthly-pleasures were rid off, he aimed to make a spotify playlist to contend her liked songs.

when they found out the sandstorm would still be ongoing by the time dinner fell upon, they unanimously agreed to move out of the café to somewhere else where they served proper food. she needed her caffeine fix to fight the jet lag and he needed his protein fix before his trainer blew off his ears.

(lies. he did it because he wanted to take her far away from the eagle eyes that was starting to show their true form the past hour, complete with their DSLR cameras pointing at them. and away because he wanted to listen to her intently, for she could never bore her, and he’d hate it if anyone else got to eavesdrop how much of a wonderful conversationalist she was.)

she laughed when their chosen food served—she was only having swedish meatball and he was adamant on having chicken breast for his stroganoff, on top of ordering smoked salmon salad—because only then did adriana realise each of them lived off very different lives.

“i eat because i want to, whereas you…” adriana shook her head in disbelief. rúben contemplated for so long over the menu the restaurant provided because he was looking for ones that fit his diet and, in the end, adriana hadn’t seen so many greens as rúben’s plate. “i really hope it’s all worth it.”

“it is.”

with the way rúben looked at her when he said it, adriana could only pray for her life before rúben took all of her breaths away.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

“… announcement for passengers of Emirates Airlines on flight number 431B to Tokyo, Japan.”

adriana’s eyes perked up at the airport announcement, recognising it was designated for the passengers belonging to the same aircraft as her. a small panic rushed over her bloodstream, as it now dawned her how much time had passed swiftly, afraid that she wouldn’t catch her flight in time.

although she didn’t miss a bigger, more painful pinch on her heart that she had to end whatever this is she was having with rúben. she didn’t want this to be a one-time occurrence because it had been a while since the last time she was genuinely interested in an opposite sex—she’d been bereft of a figure with face she could tolerate and brain that could keep up with her to be called her boyfriend for years now—but she did realise that with them living two different lives in two different countries with thousands of miles and oceans apart, it would only be a futile attempt to ask him to try and work this out.

“that’s your flight, isn’t it?”

adriana’s eyes zeroed back on the very person that had filled her layover hours with so many anecdotes and stories from his footballing days that she felt as if she lived through those moments with him too. rúben was sporting back the tiny, pressed smile she found the first time she interacted with him hours ago but managed to vanish as they spent more time together. she hated it immediately. she missed rúben laughing and smiling so freely like he didn’t care if they got eternally stuck in this airport.

“yeah, that’s me,” adriana couldn’t help but give him an apologetic smile. she was apologetic for living 10 hours away from where he lives, for not being able to spend longer time with him; for this particular situation they couldn’t control, in general. “unfortunately.”

rúben muttered, “unfortunately, indeed,” under his breath and another pang in the chest didn’t escape adriana.

adriana couldn’t help herself; her hand reached his before she knew it herself, as if it was her second nature. “don’t be that sad, rúben,”

one moment he was pitying himself for meeting such a wonderful woman in the wrong circumstances, one moment his heart was galloping so hard at the way her tongue rolled his name perfectly. like she had known how to for so long, like she owned it.

maybe she had, effortlessly so.

“it means your flight’s coming up. you can go home, too.”

adriana didn’t know that for rúben, his now-burned-to-ashes home had now shifted into the very one rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb softly but firmly with enough pressure, just the way he liked it. he couldn’t help but wonder how her flimsy of a hand would look prettily with the ring that sat disturbingly at the bottom of his backpack.

the silent revelation stopped rúben’s heart for a second.

he must be going crazy. or desperate. or worse, both.

maybe he was indeed acting rashly to his ex-girlfriend, for jumping into conclusion she was ready for the lifetime institution of marriage when they had only spoken of it days before. he really should slow down this time around. he blew off one chance, he didn’t want second time—especially with a woman that felt so much like someone who would drape a blanket over him after a disappointing match, be it ucl final against real madrid or not, despite only meeting her hours ago.

“you know that if i could follow you, i would, right?” adriana’s heart skipped a beat, both at his submission and at his hand enveloping hers back. every inch, every angle, every curve of their hands fell together, perfectly fitting against one another, and it scared her because how could it be when their hand sizes were kilometres different? “i mean, you still owe me so many stories of your co-workers jumping off the rig for fun.”

“you can always visit me anytime for that.”

“or you can always visit me anytime for that,” rúben threw her a mischief smile, just to rile her up—and she laughed at him, pulling her hand back so she could tidy up her things scattered across the table—but deep down, he was serious. he already planned in mind to send her jet as soon as she was back on shore. “i miss you already.”

and he wasn’t lying. he hated the cold that swept over the palm of his hand as soon as her hands went back to the respectful owner.

“please don’t,” adriana chuckled at his words, hands slipping her macbook to its leather sleeve. “i will only annoy you if i’m around you 24/7.”

“better than spending the rest of my flight without a spectacular companion.”

“i’m sure there are tons of people dying for your attention now,” adrianna’s eyes signaled people behind them that took liberty to take pictures of him as if he was another of the world’s 7 wonders. he was amazed that she kept her cool the entire time, knowing the fans could be such a disturbance. “you can always pick one of the bunch.”

“but none of them is you.”

rúben harbored the tiniest satisfaction when her entire body went rigid at his words before the eyes he was starting to love slowly focused back on him. fuck speed dating, adriana was about to leave in less than an hour and he didn’t know how long it’d take him to see her again.

adriana had always appreciated when people went straightforward with her—her mother said it was the effect of hanging out with too many boys and men alike in the rig—but hearing rúben’s each and every direct take on her was a whole new level of game. she liked it, but she really needed to step up her arsenal and fast at that.

rúben’s one hell of a handsome face didn’t help to her advantage, though. she was glad she’d be boarding a plane soon because if she stayed for an hour longer, her mind would probably go astray every time she thought of a good comeback. god damn, those brown eyes that reminded her of dipping into a chocolate fondue and the tiny smirk only he could pull off and those stubbles she was itching to run her hands through and the unique accent that tangled british and portugese—they’d be the death of her.

“let me walk you to your gate.”

adriana was thankful rúben spared her the pain of giving him a reply to something she wasn't sure there was a comeback statement to that. “that’d be lovely.”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

rúben’s father always said the right woman would prove herself worthy of him the same way a man would prover himself worthy of her. he used to believe it when he was a kid but as he grew up, now entering the stardom especially, he concluded that what his father said was only applicable to the lives of ordinary men. it had always been him proving her worthy instead of the woman doing the labour her own.

however, as rúben and adriana walked down the airport towards her gates with people flocking them as they went, rúben couldn’t help but get reminded of what his father used to say. adriana took the stride with pride, embracing this ugly side of rúben’s life that people always breached and forgot he was also a fellow human with a need to protect his privacy also.

she kept engaging him in small conversations like it was another day for her, as if it was actually that easy to be around him with cameras pointing towards them. she made it look easy in the process to tuck away the reality and instead focusing on rúben and rúben dos santos gato alves dias only. the one that adriana got to know the past hour, not the manchester city’s number 3 everyone else got to see from the silver screen.

that was when he knew she was worthy of the life he could give her in the future. because frankly enough, not everyone was ready for the consequences nor did they willingly accept the baggage that came with dating a footballer playing under a name as big as manchester city.

“this is me, then.”

they had to go through almost 40 gates to reach hers, yet they’d arrived? rúben started to question the concept of time his physics teacher used to teach him. “what a short trip, i expected 15 minutes.”

adriana scoffed. “it is 15 minutes to get here, rúben.”

for once, she hated her job, too, for making her a frequent flyer to a land so far away from everyone’s reach. whoever said distance makes heart grow fonder surely had never experienced living in an off-shore rig. she hated that the very particular fact already distanced her from rúben, whose hands were now tucked in his jeans. awkward, and rúben dias didn’t suit awkward at all. not after having him around her for hours without a moment of awkwardness.

oh, how much adriana wanted to reach those hands of his again. despite the crude surface due to grazing the hardness of green grass, it brought safety and comfort to her. a feeling she’d definitely keep deep down her heart.

“aren’t you going back to your gate?”

“nah, i’m staying until i know your plane’s taken off safely.”

another pregnant pause.

and rúben hated it. but he didn’t want to touch adriana once more, for he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from purchasing a one-way ticket to tokyo. or wherever adriana was staying.

“alright then, suit yourself, champ,” adriana corrected the sling of her backpack, and rúben was glad he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to do with the tension between them both. “i’m going now. thank you for the amazing time, rúben. i genuinely enjoyed it.”

rúben could only nod, terrified of the other things that might escape his mouth so loosely. so he chose his words wisely, “have a safe flight.”

adriana smiled to his words, but rúben noticed the smile didn’t reach her eyes. she was sad, and rúben badly wanted to suggest that they should be sad together instead.

the airport announcement boomed throughout the building once more. rúben watched she took a peak of the line behind her, the boarding counter now almost deserted from people, and when she returned her sight to him, he saw resolution behind her eyes. it was then he knew he was out of time to convince her to stay, nothing else would waver her.

but before he could act upon his thoughts, adriana beat him to it once more.

fuck it, she thought inwardly. it’d be at least christmas before she could see him again—that is if he still wanted her around by that time. rúben had shot his fire, might as well shoot her own bullets while he was in front of her. so she stood on her toes, in order to reach rúben’s face, but to no avail, it resulted her to only reach a small part under his chin, full of light stubbles but his manly smell intoxicated her beyond words. she was glad she could only plant a featherlike peck there, or else she’d be spinningly dizzy.

the movement was as fast as a thunder struck but being a professional ball kicker, rúben had trained his reflexes all of his life. before adriana could notice, rúben had placed his hands on her waist, steadying her so she wouldn’t fall back on her ass disgracefully from the loss of balance, despite being caught off guard.

her hand remained on his cheek, as she bid her farewell of “take care, rúben,” but he could take the impression she’d wished to elongate the moment. so she could take in the feeling of having him under her hands, so she could take in the feeling of having him wrapped around her for the first and the last time today, so she could take in the feeling before she had to be deprived of this until the next time they met.

so he leaned in, doing the very one thing he had been dying to do. he eliminated the thames-long distance between them, relishing the liberating feeling of finally having what he had been desiring since the first time she popped up in front of him, for he wouldn’t have the luxury to do this as much as he would want to. not until the next time they met. with his year-long schedule, she’d be lucky if he could sneak off sometime between christmas and new year.

despite their lack of time, rúben kissed adriana deep and slow, like they had all the time in the world. his hands were now respectfully settling on her waist and the back of her neck, angling her to a comfortable position for them both, ever so gently yet full of passion. like they had done this thousands of times before.

her head was officially spinning around to the point of no return.

rúben was taking everything she could give, no remnants left behind. every gasp, every suppressed moan, every hidden groan, every nip, every desire. he didn’t care if he came off like a dementor sucking a soul out of another human; he wanted this, he needed this. so soft, so sweet, so adriana yet her lips had a streak of him across them now. she was now tasted like him, sweet temptation and danger, all in one. exactly like the dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

adriana pulled away first, her brain alerted her it was time to go and that she also required air if she wanted to live another day. she opened her eyes only to see his already staring at her, grinning like they were not going to different directions, his thumb grazed her wet lips that was covered with them.

“text me before you take off.”

and adriana had already planned to spend the last of this month’s earning to buy the on-board wifi. “i’ll text you whenever i can.”

with one last kiss between them, adriana reluctantly let go of rúben and willed herself to take a step towards the boarding counter.

gone was the warmth she would now associate this city with, both the usual sunny weather and rúben himself. adriana wasn’t a fan of cold weather herself to be honest, today just added another reason to the bag. she had even longed the pricky sensation of his sheer, unshaved beard underneath the palm of her hands.

being taller than average, rúben stood tall above everyone else’s head and watched as adriana’s figure slowly blended between the crowd lining up for the plane they’d been waiting for. call him impossible but even from afar, rúben still couldn’t take his eyes off her the way they met the first time tens of hours ago—doesn’t matter to him if it was the small of her back, the back of her head. it was still adriana, it was still parts of the amazing person he got to know the past several hours.

as rúben prayed for his feeling to not falter soon, that whatever they were having were not just some withering memories like summer breeze, adriana looked back to his direction. spotting the gigantic portugese amongst the crowd, still standing and waiting for her until she boarded the plane like he promised, she grinned and mouthed see you soon as if they’d meet again.

rúben took it as a sign for the universe to act upon it and not just prayed it wouldn’t be a fleeting moment. he’d make sure they will meet again, as soon as his schedule allowed him to be, because this time, he believed what people said; with great sacrifices comes great results. and he, for god knows why, believed this time adriana was worth everything he did, does and will fight for.

maybe a delayed gratification was what rúben was looking for as the answer to his initial question.

[tower-of-hana]

Brianna Ghey Trial Day 2 CliffNotes

legal disclaimer: Because British people are the most fragile people in the world, they have made a law that says if you ever analyze an ongoing legal case then that's grounds for a mistrial. As a result I am required to state that none of the following text is editorializing. Now obviously this is a breach of my rights and normally as an American I would respond to it with tar and feathers that would be logistically hard for me to do so I guess I'll follow the rules.

I don't remember if this happened day 1 but X expressed an interest in eating people

X wrote a note detailing her plan to kill Brianna

X was previously charged for vandalism

X said she was excited to stab Brianna

Brianna told X "Girl, Ima wait where I am until we have drugs lol. I’m too anxious" on snapchat

she sent a message to her friend saying that X was weird and that she suspected that X did not really have a dealer

X had made a fake Snapchat account (rowan.innit1) for a fake dealer named Nathan as a pretense to lure Brianna to the park (this was their plan to kill E)

She sent herself messages back and forth pretending to be Nathan until Brianna asked her where she was

This is when the killing occurred

X an Y dumped Brianna's phone in a drain

Y was seen in CCTV footage after the murder wiping something red from his hands

The wounds Brianna sustained were unsurvivable

Y said he was worried about getting caught and X reassured him that the police there were "shite"

Y searched "how to combat anxiety" on the internet

When the news reported on the murder X looked it up and shared info with her friends

X found out from O(♂︎) that the murder made national news and was worried

X deleted all her previous Snapchat messages to Brianna and sent her one that said: “Girl, is everything okay? And some teenage girl got killed in linear park its on news everywhere. And why did you ditch us for some random man from Manchester. Like wtf. That is so f****d up.” trying to construct an alibi

X posted a tribute to Brianna on Snapchat with the picture of Brianna at the bench eating chocolate

X told her mother that Brianna was a friend who ditched her and Y to talk to a boy and never came back she had expressed concern about this to Y and he started an argument with her because he didn't like Brianna

acting on this info her mother called the police and X told this story to the police

The police arrested X and Y and searched their homes and phones

they found a knife in X's house but the only blood on it was hers

They found muddy shoes and a jacket in Y's room with Brianna's blood on them

Scientists think that this means Y was close to Brianna while she was being stabbed

The murder weapon had Y's DNA on it along with Brianna's blood

X was interrogated and told the police her earlier story adding that she was really upset about Brianna's death

She said she had blocked Y on Whatsapp until he told the truth about the murder

Y was interrogated and told police that they met with Brianna and walked into a forest and X stabbed Brianna three times in a forest while he was using the bathroom

He said he turned around and went to see if Brianna was alive, getting blood on his hands in the process

X ran away and he panicked and ran after her

He said he washed his hands prior to touching the knife and made no comment when police asked him why there was blood on the blade

He said she did this because she felt that Brianna was interfering in her personal life

He said he went along with her attempts to come up with an alibi because he was scared of her

he said he cut contact with her

he said he didn't believe her about the killing people thing and went along with it because he wanted to be liked

he said X hadn't frightened him before she murdered Brianna

he said everything he did leading up to the murder were just jokes

police could not access Brianna's phone

[spectralarchers]

3 and 5 Soapghost whump

“I thought you’d abandoned me.” + “You should have left me there.”

//

(under a readmore because it got a bit long <3)

It's been three days. Three days in the rubble, three days trying to pace himself with the little water he's got left. It probably won't matter in the end, whether he manages to get the water to last three, four or five days. He'll be dead within the week either way.

If not due to dehydration, then due to sepsis. The bullet wound in his abdomen looks like shit. He hasn't managed to pry the bullet out of it - he passed out when he tried, then realized his fingers were filled with dirt, oil and more - and the medical kit was destroyed in the firefight.

Ghost doesn't like his chances, but it's better to go out like this, he guesses. Better to go out like this. It gives him time to think back to everything he's achieved. His team. Price. Gaz. Nikolai, Alex. Hell, even the others, Gromsko, König, Horangi - they'll do great without him.

Soap, too. Soap would be a great team leader too. Ghost had taken this one covertly, one man in, one man out. Easier access. Just a quick disposal, and he would've been on the evac out. Intel had been wrong - he'd met resistance, been shot. Then the building had collapsed in on itself, trapping him in the rubble. There's enough room to wiggle and to move, but he can't dig himself out. He's tried. He may be built like a brick and a giant, he can't move the blocks of concrete keeping him from the blue sky he imagines above.

And, with how the bullet wound looks now... It's a matter of counting down the right way. Thinking back to the moments they'd all talked about - when this was all done, he'd go back home to Manchester. Maybe even visit Scotland with Soap, see his family. Make sure König saw that therapist they always teased him about.

But, it looks bad. He removed the mask two days ago, there's no need to hide his face down here. He falls asleep clutching the bottle of water, a gun in his other hand, in case someone shows up to finish him off. Or worse.

Waking up with a jolt at the sound of voices - speaking English - Simon Riley shakes himself into consciousness, although the effort taxes him. He's on his last reserves. The mic crackles to life as well, but it's static. Lifting his finger to press the button to call out, he switches the channel.

"This is 7-1, calling. Bravo 0-7, how copy?"

Chuckling, Ghost smiles. Johnny. He presses the button. "I thought you'd abandonned me," he croaks into the mike. Immediately, Soap's response comes through.

"Ghost! You're alive- stay put, we're getting to you, okay?"

"You should've left me here, Johnny. There's insurgents- the intel, it was wrong," he says, voice hoarse, feeble. "You'll get killed if you stay-"

"Shut up, Lt, we're coming to get you. Insurgents have been taken care of."

"That's the best news I've heard all day," Ghost adds, before he feels his vision swimming. The energy left in him is drained. They're right on the other side. But he can't stay awake. He just needs to close his eyes.

Just for five minutes.

[kassymalone]

Allow me to share with you, dear reader, a story of what happened today. There is no lesson to be learned in this story, no deeper parable: it is merely a snapshot of a moment in time.

So Manchester City (the football team, not the city) has won the treble (which seems to be a big deal if you’re into football), so naturally this is cause for Manchester city (the city, not the team) to celebrate.

On Friday some representatives from the business improvement district came by to warn us that if City won the treble, there’d be a parade that went right by our shop. Today, that parade happened.

It was a nice day. Even on the way to work this morning, they were starting to close off the roads in the city centre. At lunch time it was 31 degrees, an absolute anomaly in the north of England, with a powder blue sky and next to no breeze.

At around 2pm they started.

The vuvuzelas.

If you’re lucky enough to never have heard a vuvuzela (and you are lucky), imagine if someone made a goose out of cheap plastic, somehow turned the volume up ten times louder than you thought possible from such a little thing, and then gave it to a small child.

HONK, HONK, HONK-HONK-HONK, HONK-HONK-HONK-HONK, HONK-HONK. If you know the song you know it. The parade wasn’t due to start until 6.30pm, but around 2pm it started.  

The workers rolled the security fences out around 3pm, closing the road directly in front of our shop. Luckily we had already made the target for the day, because our business tanked after that. Not for lack of people - the people were gathering all along the road, staking out good places.

Fast forward to 5pm. The honking in unbearable, I have to close the doors just to hear the person next to me speak. We’re packing up early because of how quiet it’s become. Outside, a sea of powder blue (the teams official colour) is lining the street, the shirts looking like they drained the colour straight from the sky. Horns are honking, people are yelling.

I look to the doors. A child has climbed a lamp post, and is sat quite happily on the crossbar. I look away. When I look back, a couple of hefty young men have climbed another lamp post. The third time I look, they’re all shirtless. The street is getting busier and busier, the door to our shop is blocked by people.

At this point, the light is changing. All the shirts that took the blue sky left an angry slate grey in its place. The temperature drops rapidly. Horns are honking, people are yelling.

Thunder rumbles.

The sky opens.

The entire crowd cheers.

Not a single person moves from the spot they’d been staking out for hours. They cheer, chant, and jump in place, but they don’t move as hail the size of marbles rains down from above.

Finally, we closed. In the time it took me to cash up the tills, I managed to miss the actual parade.

“They weren’t wearing any shirts!” the young Indian girl working with me gasped “And it was raining! They’re going to get sick!”

What else would you do, stuck on a parade float in a thunder storm because people have been waiting literal hours to celebrate you? Might as well give them a show.

It was still raining when I locked the door, and that was long enough for me to get completely soaked. The parade was gone, and everyone else is leaving too - the die-hard fans following the parade route, everyone else ducking through back alleys and side roads. A blue river of people flowing towards the buses, trains and trams, squealing and splashing through the rain and cold, wet puddles, the kind of wet you forget exists until the next time it thunders.

The bus is so busy I seriously consider just walking home. Its an hour walk, in a thunderstorm, but I think about it. By the time I reach my stop the heat is starting to return, and the petrichor is almost suffocating. Students crowd in their doorways smoking, dressed in bikini tops and shorts and talking about Amsterdam. 

I finally open the door and a ginger cat screams at me. Some normality at last.

[merseyrod]

Common Causes of Drains Blocked

Drains Blocked Warrington can be a huge nuisance, causing inconvenience and ability damage to your private home if addressed indirectly. Understanding the not unusual reasons for blocked drains permits you to take preventive measures and avoid those issues. In this post, we are going to tell you about the causes of blocked drains. Read more to know about all causes of blocked drains. If you face major issues, you can get bits of help from experts.

[quickdrains]

Blocked Drain Manchester | QUICK DRAINS

We unblock Drains Fast, Professional Expert Family Run Manchester Drainage Company and Emergency Plumbers, Drain Jetting, Drain Repairs, CCTV Inspections, Tanker Services.

blocked drain manchester

[rautilitysolutions]

CCTV drainage surveys in Manchester

Most of the major cities of the world are facing drainage related problems and the Manchester city which is one of the most popular and densely populated cities of the United Kingdom is no exception as there are many people who are facing drainage related problems in the city and you can find a lot of them running from pillar to post in order to find a good company which can solve their drainage problems.

If you are also tired of running from one company to the other but no company seems to have a solution to the drainage system of your building or the apartment in which you live then you need to know that it is high time you go for a CCTV drainage survey in order to be able to find the exact problem with your drainage system as it can be solved only when you have a clear idea of what is causing the drain to block.

There are many able and popular CCTV Surveys conducting companies in Manchester and you should immediately approach them so that they can get a CCTV drainage survey done in order to find out the problem areas in the drainage system and a good part is that many of them also have a team of well-trained drainage unblockers with some of the latest equipment used to clean some of the most notorious drains.

[sciencespies]

New evidence shows planting around school playgrounds protects children from air pollution

https://sciencespies.com/environment/new-evidence-shows-planting-around-school-playgrounds-protects-children-from-air-pollution/

New evidence shows planting around school playgrounds protects children from air pollution

Scientists have published new evidence showing that selective planting of vegetation between roads and playgrounds can substantially cut toxic traffic-derived air pollution reaching school children.

The new findings, published this week in the journal Scientific Reports, demonstrate that roadside vegetation can be designed, installed and maintained to achieve rapid, significant and cost-effective improvement of air quality.

Exposure to traffic-related air pollution has been linked with a range of health risks including cardiovascular, respiratory and neurological health. These risks are likely to be exacerbated in young children attending primary schools next to busy roads as their major organs are still developing and children have a higher breathing rate than adults.

Exposure to fine particulate matter in air pollution is reportedly the largest environmental risk factor contributing to cardiovascular deaths and disease globally, and is linked to around six to nine million premature deaths each year.

A team of researchers led by Barbara Maher, Emeritus Professor at Lancaster University, and supported by Groundwork Greater Manchester, installed ‘tredges’ (trees managed as a head-high hedge) at three Manchester primary schools during the summer school holidays of 2019.

One school had an ivy screen installed, another had western red cedar and the third school had a mixture of western red cedar, Swedish birch and an inner juniper hedge. A fourth school, with no planting, was used as a control.

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The school with the ivy screen saw a substantial reduction in playground particulate matter concentrations, but an increase in black carbon. The playground with the mixture of planting saw lower reductions in air pollution to that of the western red cedar.

The biggest overall reductions in particulate matter and black carbon were shown at the school with western red cedar planted. The results showed almost half (49%) of black carbon and around 46% and 26% of the fine particulates, PM2.5 and PM1 emitted by passing traffic were captured by the western red cedar tredges.

The tredges also significantly reduced the magnitude and frequency of acute ‘spikes’ in air pollution reaching the playgrounds.

Professor Maher said: “Our findings show that we can protect school playgrounds, with carefully chosen and managed tredges, which capture air pollution particulates on their leaves. This helps to prevent at least some of the health hazards imposed on young children at schools next to busy roads where the localised air quality is damagingly poor, and it can be done quickly and cost-effectively.”

The scientists believe that western red cedar performed best at preventing the particulate air pollution from reaching the playground because its prolific, small, rough, evergreen leaves act like a filter, capturing particulate pollution and stopping it circulating in the atmosphere. When it rains, the particulates wash off — ending up in the soil or drains — enabling the leaves to then capture more particulate pollution.

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Professor Maher said: “Western red cedar tredges work well because this species’ leaves form millions of tiny rough corrugated projections, each of which can bump into the particulates suspended in the air and ‘capture’ them in their ridges, furrows and pores.

“This takes them out of the local atmosphere and therefore reduces the exposure to these traffic-sourced air pollution particulates of the children and staff in the playground.”

The researchers believe species like ivy were not as effective at capturing particulate pollution as the western red cedar because of the smooth, waxy surface of its leaves. It therefore acts more akin to a fence where it blocks the transport of some particulate matter but is not as effective at capturing and thus removing it from the air.

The researchers suggest these benefits highlighted by the study are not just limited to schools and that carefully selected and managed tredges could be used in other parts of urban areas to reduce the damaging health impacts of exposure to traffic pollution.

The study was supported with funding from Manchester City Council and Transport for Greater Manchester, and Groundwork Greater Manchester which installed the tredges and ran ‘citizen science’ workshops with classes from the schools to highlight issues around air quality and steps young people and their families can take to make a difference.

Councillor Tracey Rawlins, Executive Member for Environment for Manchester City Council, said: “We were keen to be part of this study as Manchester seeks to embrace innovation in our efforts to become a greener city with cleaner air and tackle climate change. We note these positive findings with interest and will consider how we can use the lessons from this project to make further targeted use of green infrastructure in the city.”

The study’s findings are detailed in the paper ‘Protecting playgrounds: local-scale reduction of airborne particulate matter concentrations through particulate deposition on roadside ‘tredges’ (green infrastructure)’.

Researchers on the paper include: Barbara Maher and Vassil Karloukovski of Lancaster University; Tomasz Gonet, formerly of Lancaster University and now Jaguar Land Rover; Huixia Wang of Xi’an University of Architecture and Technology, China; and Thomas Bannan, University of Manchester.

#Environment

[mancrod]

How to Fix Blocked Drains in Manchester: Expert Tips and Solutions

In this guide, I’ll share practical tips for fixing blocked drains Manchester, discuss when to call in a professional, and explain how expert drain unblocking in Manchester can save you time and hassle.

[blockeddrainsmanchester]

Blocked Drains in Greater Manchester: Everything You Need to Know

Blocked drains can be a nightmare for any property owner in Greater Manchester. The unpleasant odor, the overflowing water, and the potential damage to the property are all reasons why you should not ignore a blocked drain. If you are experiencing any of these issues, it is time to call in the experts - MK1 Drains LTD.

MK1 Drains LTD is a professional and reliable drainage company based in Greater Manchester. With years of experience in the industry, they have become the go-to experts for all drainage problems in the area, including blocked drains.

Blocked drains are a common problem in Greater Manchester due to the city's age and the prevalence of older properties. The older the property, the more likely it is that the drainage system has not been updated or maintained properly, leading to blockages. Other factors that can contribute to blocked drains include the accumulation of grease, fat, and oil, foreign objects such as hair and debris, and tree roots growing into the pipes.

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms of a blocked drain, such as slow-draining water, unpleasant odors, or gurgling sounds, it is important to act fast. Ignoring the problem can lead to serious consequences, including flooding, structural damage, and even health hazards.

MK1 Drains LTD offers a range of services to address blocked drains in Greater Manchester, including drain unblocking, drain cleaning, CCTV drain surveys, and drain repairs. Their team of experienced and qualified engineers uses the latest technology and equipment to diagnose and resolve problems quickly and efficiently.

Their drain unblocking service is designed to clear any blockages in your drainage system quickly and effectively. They use high-pressure water jets to break down and flush away any debris or buildup, leaving your pipes clear and free-flowing once again. This service is available 24/7, so you can rest assured that help is always at hand when you need it most.

MK1 Drains LTD also offers drain cleaning services to help prevent blockages from occurring in the first place. Regular drain cleaning can help to remove any buildup of grease, fat, and other debris, keeping your drainage system in top condition and reducing the risk of blockages.

For more complex issues, such as drain damage or tree root invasion, MK1 Drains LTD can conduct CCTV drain surveys to identify the problem and recommend the best course of action. They use state-of-the-art cameras to inspect the inside of your drainage system, allowing them to pinpoint the location and extent of the problem without the need for excavation.

Finally, their drain repair service can address any damage or deterioration in your drainage system, including collapsed pipes and leaks. They use a range of techniques, including excavation, relining, and patching, to repair your drainage system and ensure it is functioning properly.

In conclusion, blocked drains can be a major headache for property owners in Greater Manchester, but with the help of MK1 Drains LTD, you can get your drainage system back on track in no time. Their range of services, including drain unblocking, drain cleaning, CCTV drain surveys, and drain repairs, means they have the expertise and equipment to deal with any drainage problem quickly and efficiently. Don't wait until it's too late - if you are experiencing any issues with your drains, call in the experts at MK1 Drains LTD today.

[sattamatkhamobi]

Here at My Emergency Plumber, we can provide a complete range of drain unblocking services to suit your needs. Professional local drainage engineers. Cleaning, unblocking, CCTV surveys, root cutting. Fast, efficient service across Greater Manchester.

[cherrycheridarling]

happier | t.h.

tom holland x singer!reader

warnings: swearing and sad. fluff if you squint

summary: you wish tom the best with his new relationship in your new song. {listen to happier by olivia rodrigo (if you want)}

wc: 3.6k

'We broke up a month ago,'

"I've been thinking," your heart sunk at his words, "I'm always working." he grabbed both of your hands.

You locked your gaze in his. Sat in the living room of his shared flat. Inches apart yet you could already feel the separation between the two of you growing.

He avoided your eye contact, "I-I can't be in a relationship unless I can give one hundred percent of myself to the other person. A-and I know I haven't been doing that to you, which is c-completely unfair." he wiped away a tear from your cheek that you didn't know had fell, "You've been so, so good to me. I'm sorry I wasn't better, but I can't keep putting you through this." his voice was barely audible.

You finally tore your eyes away from his face. His tear soaked face. Choosing to stare at a spot over his shoulder instead. You took three deep breaths. In and out. Something about his words made you confused, but your pain overpowered it.

"Please say something. Anything." he whispered against your knuckles. Holding your hands to his lips.

You gently removed your hands from his grip, "Thank you for being mature and honest with me." you started with a sniffle, "Thank you for all of our memories and for showing me what love is," you cupped his face, "Thank you for everything, loser." your light laugh lacked any humour, but it still brought a slight smile to his face.

He held your hand that was resting on his jaw, "I love you more than life itself, darling." he kissed your palm and you felt your heart shatter. "Never hesitate to call, dummy."

You nodded with a sad smile. "I love you, too." You stood up and made your way out of the door. A year and a half down the drain within ten minutes.

'Your friends are mine, you know I know you moved on. Found someone new.'

"Do you guys wanna do something on Saturday? I don't have work. Maybe karaoke?" you asked the group without looking up from your phone.

Harrison made a confused noise, "Did you forget? We have Nadia's birthday par—" you heard a loud smack, "—Ow! What? Oh, shit."

You looked up to see Zendaya, Jacob, Harry, Sam and Tuwaine all glaring at Harrison.

"Absolute div." Tuwaine muttered.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Who's Nadia?" you looked at all of them as they avoided eye contact. "Daya?"

She let out a long sigh before clearing her throat, "Um, Nadia is- Well she's kind of- you know, um—"

"—Tom's new girlfriend." Sam finished for her.

Your mouth formed an 'o' shape as you processed the information. His new girlfriend. It'd been a month and four days since he ended your relationship. And he had a new girlfriend.

It took him a month to move on. A month to be able to give a hundred percent of himself to someone.

You couldn't tell if you were more angry or sad. Maybe a mixture of both. Angry that your friends were hiding information from you, but at the same time you understood their intentions. Sad and upset because the boy who told you he wasn't ready to give a hundred percent of himself was already with someone new.

You slowly nodded, "Oh, okay. Well, I hope you guys have fun." you gave a tight lipped smile before looking back at your phone.

Everyone glanced at each other worriedly before allowing their gazes to fall on you again.

"How do you feel?" Jacob asked cautiously.

You locked your phone and set it on your lap, "I'm fine." you faked a smile, "I think I'm gonna head home, though. It's getting late and I have an early studio session. Bye." you quickly grabbed your purse and left with a small wave.

"Y/N! Wait—" the slamming of the front door cut Tuwaine off.

It was three p.m. and you weren't supposed to be in the studio until noon.

'One more girl who brings out the better in you,'

"Y/N/N. You need to talk about it sooner or later." Zendaya reminded you as she sat at the end of your bed with Harrison beside her.

You removed the covers from your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, "Does she make him happy?"

There was silence from your two friends before they hesitantly nodded. Both weren't completely sure, but they assumed she did.

"Does she bring out the best version of him? Does she stroke his hair while they cuddle? Does she cook with him? Does she walk Tessa with him?"

Harrison sighed, "Y/N/N, we—"

"—Because that's what I did. I brought out the best side of him. I stroked his hair while we cuddled. I cooked with him. I walked Tessa with him. I did it all. Every single thing." your voice broke towards the end as you let the sobs rack through your body.

Harrison and Zendaya went to either side of you and held you. They just held you. Because even they didn't know what to do.

'And I thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past,'

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Zendaya asked as you walked towards Tom's front door.

You nodded and smoothed down your sundress, "Yeah. We ended on good terms. It's been two months or so. We're friends. Plus, I miss hanging out with all of us." you assured her.

She sighed before knocking on the door, "Alright."

A few moments later the door swung open revealing Tom. Dressed in black jeans and a white button-up. Sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Curls dangling over his forehead. A sweet smile on his lips.

You felt your stomach lurch. Air leaving your lungs involuntarily. Heart rate quickening. You could smell his cologne and every single memory with him clouded your mind.

"Hey! It's great to see you guys—"

"—Sorry. I-I think I left something in the car. One second." you rushed out the words before turning on your heel.

Zendaya let out a long sigh, "Fuck."

Tom frowned, "Did I do something wrong?"

'But she's so sweet, she's so pretty. Does she mean you forgot about me?'

"Y/N!" an unfamiliar voice called out to you from somewhere in the boys' backyard.

It was Harrison's annual barbecue get together. Nearly three months since your break up with Tom.

You turned towards the source of the noise and found a girl walking towards you. Brunette. Tight black dress with black heels. Body and face of a model.

"I've been dying to meet you! I'm such a huge fan. I basically live off of your music." she giggled as she hugged you.

You smiled, "Aw! Thank you! That means so much to me. You look amazing, by the way."

She laughed, "Thank you! But you're absolutely gorgeous! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nadia, Tom's girlfriend."

Of fucking course.

You raised your eyebrows, but managed to keep a smile on your face, "Oh! I've heard so much about you! Well, Tom's one lucky guy," you chuckled, "I'd love to chat some more, but I need to use the washroom. Excuse me. It was a pleasure meeting you." you gave her a hoaxed smile before quickly walking away.

You were two feet away from the washroom when Zendaya grabbed your arm, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Your breaths were coming out in short puffs, "I just met Nadia?"

Her eyes widened before she dragged you towards Tuwaine's room, "Okay. Let's sit down."

'Oh, I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go,'

"You should move in here." Tom mumbled against your shirt.

You let out a small laugh, "You already have four roommates, love. One more might turn this into a barn."

He lifted his head off of your chest, "I'm serious. Driving from Manchester to Kingston all the time is such a hassle for you. We have recording studios here and it would make me the happiest man in the world if I could wake up to your gorgeousness everyday." he planted kisses on your forehead, nose and lips.

You chuckled at his boyish grin, "It's only a three hour drive and I'm sure the boys don't want me imposing on your time with them."

He quickly shook his head, "I already talked to them about it and they want you here, too."

You raised your eyebrows, "Well, if you're sure it'll make you the happiest man in the world, I'll think about it."

"You already make me the happiest man in the world, but I needed something to convince you." he rested his head on your chest again as you laughed.

'So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'

"Are we ordering pizza?" Harrison yawned from beside you on the couch.

"Sushi?" you grinned hopefully.

Tuwaine shook his head, "We had sushi last night."

"Tom and I are making dinner for you guys!" Nadia reminded you from the kitchen.

Her arms wrapped around Tom's waist as he stirred whatever was in the pan he had on the stove.

You really hated their open floor layout at that moment since there wasn't a wall to block them from your view.

"Oh, yeah. What're you making?" Sam asked.

"Salmon with rice and steamed veggies." Tom answered without looking up from the pan.

Everyone made noises of realization as you turned to Harry, "Aliens or a tiger. Which do you think you could beat in a fight?" he asked.

You laughed before replying, "Hmm, depends. Are the aliens small or—"

"Tommy!" you heard a girly giggle and turned to see Tom with Nadia over his shoulder as they laughed and ran around the kitchen.

You quickly diverted your gaze to the coffee table. Forgetting about Harry's absurd question. All eyes were on you.

"What?" you asked when you finally looked up at your friends.

"Are you okay?" Harrison frowned from beside you before resting his head on your shoulder.

You let out a dry, quiet laugh, "Of course. As long as he's happy."

The looks of pity you received were almost as painful as the scene you witnessed moments ago.

'And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean,'

"Premiere day!" Zendaya walked into your shared hotel room with a bright smile, Nadia following behind her.

You faked a smile as you applied another coat of mascara, "You girls look gorgeous."

Zendaya was in a red and black sequin gown. Hair down and heels on. Nadia was dressed in a maroon silk dress with a slit on the side. Black heels dawning her feet. Both had makeup and accessories on matching their attire.

You were in an emerald green gown with a slit running down your left leg. Silver heels and silver jewellery to match.

"So do you!" Nadia exclaimed as she sat on Zendaya's bed.

"Are the boys coming soo—" Zendaya got cut off by three loud knocks on the door.

"I'll get it!" Nadia jumped up and opened the door.

Tom was stood before her in a maroon suit. Matching her dress. Black dress shoes. Matching her heels. Glasses on and a bright smile.

You watched as Tom ran his eyes down Nadia's outfit, "Well, aren't you just the most beautiful girl in the world?" he planted a kiss on her lips as you witnessed with envy.

"Aw, Tommy. I love you."

"I love you more, darling." he grinned before looking behind her.

Heart wrenching pain struck you again.

You watched as his mouth fell open by the slightest bit. Eyes growing wider.

He quickly snapped out of his daze, placing a pearly white smile on, "You two look absolutely stunning."

You acknowledged his compliment with a curt nod.

Zendaya let out a laugh, "Yup. About to out do you at your own premiere."

'Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?'

"Green or white?" you held up both dresses against your body.

Tom looked up from his phone, "Both of them will look amazing on you, love."

You sighed, "I appreciate the compliment, but I am meeting Sebastian Stan tonight. Now is not the time for indecisiveness. One of them will make me look bad and I need to know which one."

The Infinity War premiere was in two hours and your anxiety was growing by the minute.

"C'mere." he motioned you towards him with a 'come hither' gesture as he sat on the edge of the hotel bed. You made your way towards him. Standing in between his legs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Absolutely gorgeous. You could make the ugliest dress look like something from a fairytale."

Your smile grew as he kissed your stomach, "Thank you, mi amor." you bent down and placed a peck on his forehead, leaning your head against his, you whispered, "Now, green or white?"

He chuckled and pecked your lips, "White."

You smiled before making your way to put on the white dress, "I love you."

"I love you more, darling."

'And now I'm picking her apart. Like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart. But she's beautiful, she looks kind. She probably gives you butterflies.'

"I don't like her." you murmured.

Zendaya chuckled, "Nadia? You barely know the girl."

You nodded, "And I don't like her. I don't like her giggles and her nickname for him. I don't like her hair."

You knew you were looking for things to dislike, but there weren't any. She was a fan of your music, she complimented you all the time. She was genuinely a great person.

She sighed, "No, you don't like the fact that she's dating Tom. If she wasn't, you wouldn't be saying any of this."

You rolled your eyes and glared at her, "Can you let me be angry?"

She laid herself down on your mattress, "Nope. If you wanna be angry, be angry at Tom. Nadia hasn't done anything to you. You're better than this."

"God, I hate your optimistic side sometimes." you threw a pillow at her.

She laughed, "One of us needs to be the optimist."

You sighed, "Do you think he misses me?"

"Yes." she replied without hesitation.

You sat up and furrowed your eyebrows, "What makes you say that?"

She let out a long breath, "You need to talk to him about that."

'I hope you're happy. I wish you all the best, really. Say you love her, baby. Just not like you loved me. And think of me fondly when your hands are on her. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'

"And you're dead." you dropped the controller on your lap as you defeated Harrison in Super Smash Bros again.

He huffed like a child, "Unfair. I taught you how to play, how'd you get better than me?"

"Actually, I taught her how to play. And I am ten times better than you." Tuwaine corrected him.

Harrison scoffed, "Whatever. Sweaty nerds, the both of you."

Nadia spoke up from Tom's lap, "Can I try?"

You nodded, "Who do you wanna go against?"

She chuckled, "I think I'll verse Harrison. Seeing as how Y/N just kicked your ass, I wanna at least have a chance."

Her comment made you laugh as you handed her the controller and watched them pick their characters. You watched as Tom set his phone down and focused on the screen where his girlfriend chose Pichu.

"Choose Kirby." Tom told her.

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? Pichu is so cute."

"Y/N always plays as Kirby and she always wins. With that stupid power absorbing ability." he chuckled as his eyes landed on you.

You felt your heart skip a beat at the small detail he remembered before you played it off with a light laugh, "Not my fault you thought Luigi could beat Kirby everytime we played."

'Ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo,'

You pressed on the keys of the piano in the boys' home. Singing your heart out. You still had your spare key and Harrison told you no one was home.

You were waiting for them to return from golfing so you could have your Sunday night dinners. It's been nearly four months since your breakup with Tom. Your album was due to be released on May twenty-first and you were letting the still evident pain fuel your lyrics.

"I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go. So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier." you faded out the piano and pressed stop on the recording on your phone.

Writing down small notes about the song and things to tweak, your thoughts were quickly interrupted.

"I'm not."

Your head snapped up. Tom was leaning against the doorframe behind you. Tears escaping his eyes.

"T-Tom. I'm sorry. Haz told me the house was empty and I just started playing and- Wait. What did you say?" realization dawned on you.

He stepped closer and sat beside you on the piano bench, "I'm not happier. Hell, I'm not even happy." he gave a pathetic attempt at a laugh, staring straight at the black and white keys.

Your mind was trying to catch up with everything happening, trying to register his words, the state he was in. Grey sweats, black tee. Messy hair and red eyes.

"Why?"

He released a heavy sigh, "There's so many things you could be asking 'why' about. Why did I break up with you? Why am I with Nadia? Why am I not happy? Why the hell am I crying? Which one is it, Y/L/N?"

You blinked a few times, "All of them."

He sniffled and rubbed his face, "I felt like I was holding you back." he started, catching a glimpse of your confused expression, he continued, "You hadn't released any music in over year. There were so many articles saying that I was the reason that the biggest pop star in the world was quitting music. I didn't want to be the reason for that."

"You weren't and you aren't." you assured him.

He shrugged, "I just felt like you would do a lot better without me. And you are. Look at you, your fifth album is coming out next month." he nudged you with his shoulder, "I'm proud of you," he smiled.

"T-thank you."

He nodded, "Anyways, why am I with Nadia? Um, a few days after we broke up, I went to a friend's place to distract myself, as one does. She was there. She was a distraction. I never meant for it to get this far. You know, she actually asked me to be her boyfriend." he chuckled dryly to himself as you listened intently. "I guess, I thought it'd be easier to move on if I had something else to pour my love into?"

You nodded slowly, "Okay, I somewhat get that. So you really do love her?"

He quickly shook his head, "No, no, I don't. I mean, I can't. No one can truly love two people at once. And I think that answers the question of why I'm not happy." he paused and faced you completely, "I'm crying because hearing that song and hearing how evident your pain in it is, that will make anyone cry. I'm crying because I miss you and I miss us. I-I miss what we had and what we were. I miss your kisses and your stupid jokes that only you laugh at. I miss going on walks with you and Tess. I just miss you."

There was a long period of silence after his confession. You were trying to process all the information he was giving. He was cursing himself for being so straightforward. The longer it went without a response from you, the more anxious he got. He grabbed your hands, holding them to his lips.

"Please say something. Anything."

Déjà vu.

You swallowed, "You want honesty?" he nodded, "Okay, I was so mad at you. I-I was infuriated. Y-you told me you weren't ready to give a hundred percent of yourself and that you couldn't be in a relationship until you could give all of yourself to that person. Then a month later, you're with her. Making me feel like you just couldn't give yourself to me." you paused and shook your head, "You could've told me the truth. You should've told me the truth. We could've talked about it. We could've avoided months of awkward run ins and no communication." he nodded, still holding your hands in his, "I'm not gonna lie and say I don't miss you because I do, I miss you more than anything, but we shouldn't be doing this or saying these things while you're with her." you removed your hands from his.

He spent a moment looking down at his fingers. Releasing short breaths. "I don't want to be with her."

"But you are. And I don't want you to break up with her for me. Because that's not how things work, Tom. But you shouldn't stay with her either. Especially if this is how you're feeling. That's just unfair to her." you shook your head and felt your mind clear.

He nodded and met your gaze, "This is the end of us, huh?"

You shook your head, "I don't think there will ever be an end to us." you laughed dryly.

He agreed with a smile, "For forever and a day, remember?"

You nodded, "For forever and a day."

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Friday 19 April 1839

6 10/..

12 25/..

rain in the night – fair at 6 but wild windy morning and rain and hail between 7 and 8 F45 ¾° inside and 39 ½° outside at 7 ¾ am Had A- with me writing copies of letters and talking breakfast at 9 and came upstairs about 9 50/.. – Had A- with me – wrote to Mrs. Hawkins – much obliged for the trouble she has taken – Mrs. Des Voeux’s letter so satisfactory do not hesitate to engage Mr. and Mrs. Gross – It may be the 22nd or 23rd of next month before we can be in London on our way to the continent – hope Mrs. Hawkins will have a corner to spare for us at that time – will write again – wrote also to Mrs. Gross that the character so satisfactory, I engaged her and husband from the tenth of May, as travelling servant and Ladys’ maid, on the usual terms, and will give the wages mentioned i.e. 40 guineas or one thousand and fifty francs per annum to Mr. Gross, and 20 guineas or five hundred and twenty five from to Mrs. Gross, and 4fr. a day to each en route, and two from a week to her for her washing – expect them to meet me in London – and if it should be ten or twelve days after the 10th of next, I will allow 3/. a day to each person of the 2 from the 10th to the time of my arrival in Dover street – sent off these 2 letters by George at 11 20/.. to ‘Mrs. Hawkins, 26 Dover street, London post paid’ and to ‘Mrs. C. Gross at Mr. Bamfords’ , 6 Dorset street, Manchester square, London post paid’ gave A- her Brodie medicine at 11 25/.. – and wrote but the 1st line and a ½ of today till now 11 ¾ am then had Booth – going to H-x to let Water-lane mill – probably to Wilson – to be bound down to time in £5 penalty per week for every week beyond the time of contract – to be done as soon as possible – ditto Mallinsons’ barn and water got to Hatters street all for A- for me to see about blocking the little window at Northgate and making the drain against Mr. Abbotts’ cottages – to get the bill for the bricks used last for the engine flue – Shaws’ man to come on Monday to finish do the plastering in the hall and Culpan to come next Monday week to wall off the shop against the old farm stable – wrote the last 7 lines and went down with A- to her luncheon at 12 35/.. for about 10 minutes she had sago and a glass of old sherry in it – then came upstairs to turn out the imperials 1st time since our return – began with A-‘s and this led to tidying her armoire – putting away elsewhere several things that had no business there – in the midst of all this between 1 and 2 Mr. Jubb came for about 20 minutes – said the sarsaparilla was so disagreeable to A- she really could not take it – to send tonight for some pills and a lavement apparatus – then at our siding again till A- rode off to Cliff hill at 3 ¼ - then wrote the last 6 lines then busy dawdling over 1 thing or other a thorough washing after cousin changing my boots etc. A- seemed better for her confiding in Mr. Jubb the pith of her   Cliff hill aunt potherations and the hurry of getting off rouses and does her good  I have enough to do and think of  wrote the last 3 lines at 4 10/.. – went out at 4 ¼ - to the meer – the water within 6 or 7 inch of running out at the meer drift to the water wheel – nobody there – to Listerwick at 5 ¾ at which moment the pumps just set going 1 of the Low moor men there and Holt – he said it was better – said I did not think it would quite answer – took too much force to stop the corves – Holt to get Hirds’ bill – his men should do more at the thing – I would send for Garforth if required – then with Robert Mann (he and his men walling at Listerwick along the road today and Joseph and co. at righting up John Oates’s garden) to give orders about skew bank at the head of the near, and getting water (to cost £5) into the paddock – home at 7 10/.. – dressed etc. dinner at 7 25/.. A- sent back Mr. Jubb’s Mr. Pickwick, 1 thick 8vo not one page of which have we read – ordered horses for Leeds at 1am [pm] tomorrow – A- read French – I asleep on the sofa – till coffee at 9 ¾ - then siding A- and I till 11 ¼ at which hour F47 ½° inside and 38° outside – tolerable day – windyish and rain threatening every now and then, and a few occasional drops – cold westerly wind this afternoon instead of the easterly winds we have had so long –

[quickdrains]

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