#Making My Own Choice || Post Beacon Timeline

[prettyiwa]

🍉 Fics for Gaza — Sponsor a WIP 🍉

Hello, everybody! I'm honestly not sure how this will go, if at all, but I want to participate in the fundraising efforts of @ficsforgaza. Lately, I've been focused solely on projects that bring me joy regardless of readership and so for this, I'll be opening up all of my WIPs, including those not listed on my official WIP page but previously mentioned on this blog. For this fundraiser, I'm committing to returning to those old projects that have been unceremoniously left in the dust.

I'm committing to this undertaking with the hopes that one of my projects will encourage donations if they weren't previously inclined or were on the fence.

Raised: $91.39 Written/Sponsored: 3.443/18,278

How it works:

$1 = 200 words!

Make a donation to a vetted fundraiser of your choice (links below) and send me a screenshot of your donation excluding identifying information + the WIP you'd like me to work on. For every $1 donated, I will write 200 words for your chosen WIP. Upon receiving proof of donation, I will begin working on the WIP.

*Please note I am currently trudging through burnout and writer's block, so I cannot guarantee a timeline, but they will be completed.

Example message template:

Hey, Ix! I've donated [this amount] to [link to vetted fundraiser]. Would you be able to work on [WIP title]? Thank you! (Included screenshot of proof of donation)

Vetted fundraiser links:

Vetted fundraiser masterpost-masterpost

List of Palestinian Evacuation & Support Fundraisers

Masterlist of links, official & vetted

how you can help palestine

Eligible WIPs:

Because the list of WIPs included is so long, they'll be listed below the cut. Fandoms included: Daiya no Ace, Haikyuu!!, Attack on Titan, Fullmetal Alchemist, & My Hero Academia.

Daiya no Ace

The Catcher's Accomplice - Miyuki Kazuya Major Leagues, Interpreter, Forced Proximity (Belated Quarantine Fic), Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Fluff

When Kazuya insisted he be posted for the MLB, he wasn't quite aware of all that entailed, only concerned with being able to continue playing. He didn't fully anticipate the sheer loneliness of moving to a different country, especially just before a pandemic. How lucky for him that you're there every step of the way.

word count: 4,591/20,000+

Promises We Made - Miyuki Kazuya Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Soulmates (if you squint), Expression of Grief, Anxiety, & Depression

He existed as a beacon for you—someone who had been there since before you can remember, someone who always found you when you got lost. All you wanted was to be able to stand on your own two feet beside him.

word count: 14,119/50,000+

His Name - Miyuki Kazuya Non-Linear Storytelling, Falling in Love, Break-up Fic, Angst, Hints of Pining & Regret

Kazuya never realized how much he loved the way his name sounded as it rolled of your tongue, a promise he didn't hear until it was too late.

word count: 1,593/6,000

not a stranger - Sawamura Eijun Younger Brother's Best Friend, Childhood Crush, Childhood Friends to Lovers

Fifteen years after he used to announce to the world, "I'm going to marry you one day!," he no longer looks like the Ei-chan you once knew.

word count: 3,548/12,000 FULLY SPONSORED!! written: 261/10,000

Play with Me - Kuramochi Youichi NPB, Bassist, One Night Stand to Lovers, Falling in Love, Shared History, Fluff, Suggestive

The story of you and Kuramochi Youichi goes further than the night he finds himself in the audience of your show, but it takes you a while before you acknowledge that.

word count: 339/7,500

Chink in My Armor - Kominato Ryousuke University!AU, FWB, Jealousy, Stubborn Ryou, Getting Together, Suggestive

For someone who "didn't have the time to focus on a relationship," Ryou spends an awful lot of time focusing on you.

word count: 273/5,500

Wanna Run with You - Yuuki Tetsuya University!AU, Friends to Lovers, Old Crush, Reunion, Falling in Love, Fluff

A favor for your new editor puts you in contact with your old friend and crush, someone you fervently wanted to avoid. Now that Tetsu has you in his life again, he isn't so ready to let you go this time.

word count: 6,513/9,500

Haikyuu!!

Mine to Keep - Iwaizumi Hajime Yakuza, Fight Club, Violence, Light Stalking & Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Smut

Iwaizumi's taken his time with you, preferring you willing and wanting, but there's only so much waiting he can do before he snaps.

*requires editing so the word count may vary.

word count: 11,717/15,000* sponsored word count: 1,000 written: 1,000/1,000

Always You - Iwaizumi Hajime Fallen Angel, Demon, Memory Loss, Reincarnation, Angst, Love Perseveres

You two were favored angels, models for how others should perform until you made the grave sin of loving more than your Creator. For your crime, you were doomed to loving one another time and again through never ending reincarnation, forever watching the other suffer and die.

word count: 2,378/6,000 sponsored word count: 1,278 written: 1,278/1,278

Coming Home - Iwaizumi Hajime Punisher!AU, Grief, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to ??? to Lovers

After your mother died, you never expected to find comfort in the return of the friend you long since thought dead.

word count: 1,524/6,500

Late Nights - Iwaizumi Hajime University!AU, Pining, Getting Together

In the cover of night near the university baseball diamonds, Iwaizumi finds the courage to talk to you.

word count: 328/3,000 **FULLY SPONSORED! written: 904/3,000

Maker of Myths - Oikawa Tooru Trojan War!AU, Paris & Helen, Falling in Love, War, Infidelity, Grief, Angst

The first choice you ever made was which suitor would be your husband, the King. The second choice you made allowed for you to choose your lover, your partner. The third choice you made started a war.

word count: 4,860/13,000+

This Tree, This Bed - Kuroo Tetsurou Odyssey!AU, Odysseus & Penelope, Falling in Love, Separation, Reunion, Hurt/Comfort

Kuroo liked to fashion himself as one of the smartest men in the known world. While his cunning managed to win your hand and your heart, it was unable to save him from going into a war unrelated to him.

word count: 3,215/7,500

Anxious, Wide Awake - Kuroo Tetsurou Magic & Monsters!AU, Vampire, Sorceress, Witcher inspired, Violence, Blood, Established Relationship

The more they touch you, the more their stench sticks to you, the more violent their deaths will be when he comes for you. Because he is coming for you. You have more faith in that fact than you do that the sun will rise tomorrow morning. His promise can still be heard nearly a century later, still humming along the skin where he first whispered it. He’s coming.

word count: 4,353/10,000

Please Look at Me - Hanamaki Takahiro & Matsukawa Issei Love Triangle, Not Polyamorous, Smut, Getting Together, Angst

“Is it okay if I have a taste?” Don’t you kids do anything I wouldn’t do. Takahiro’s seen Mattsun do a lot. He’s seen Mattsun in so many compromising situations throughout the years, he’s given up on keeping count long ago. And this? This is definitely something Mattsun would do.

word count: 867/6,000

Rosebuds & Black Currant - Futakuchi Kenji Strangers to (eventual) Lovers, Falling in Love, Getting Together, Fluff

It takes you entirely too long to understand the messages Kenji's been trying to send through the arrangements he gives you if only because you don't believe he's familiar with the language of flowers.

word count: 188/3,500

Attack on Titan

Rapture for the Sinners - Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman Canon Divergent, Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Grief, PTSD, Smut

Fiercely loyal to Erwin Smith, you find yourself to be one of his most trusted soldiers, ready to do what is necessary for either of you to get what you want. With no room for romantic relationships, you two easily find yourselves engaged in a sexual relationship. Why do you suddenly find your situation muddled when you're tasked with bringing three thugs from the Underground to the Survey Corps? What happens when you suddenly find yourself developing feelings for the one you were prepared to kill and who was prepared to kill you in turn?

word count: 103,168/170,000+ sponsored word count: 2,000 written: 0/2,000

For You, in the Future - Bertholdt Hoover, Levi Ackerman VOV Rewrite, Canon Divergent, Tech Advancements, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Enemies, Political Intrigue, Grief, PTSD, Love Perseveres

An attempt at a rewrite of my first story. I've worked on it in secret over the winter and could be swayed to starting it once more.

word count: 7,601/150,000+

Fullmetal Alchemist

From the Ashes Flowers Bloom - Roy Mustang Canon Divergent, Violence, Religious Guilt, Subterfuge, Exes to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort

You've spent the last four years avoiding staying in one place for too long due to the belief in the superstitions of your mother's religion. After the murder of your adoptive brother, you begin to learn the truth of the larger conspiracy that's left a pile of bodies wherever you go. Deciding to confront the root of the problem head-on, you find yourself reforging old relationships, for better or for worse.

word count: 43,580/80,000+

My Hero Academia

Set You Free - Aizawa Shouta Pre-UA Teacher!AU, Hurt/Comfort, Falling in Love, Grief, Getting Together

An unfortunate quirk, bad timing, and grief-induced anger tied you to Aizawa years after the death of Shirakumo. He wanted to be a hero, and it takes him a bit too long to realize he may have ruined yours.

word count: 2,256/6,500

[seventeenlovesthree]

Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - HomuMami

Based on these two polls [X] [X], I will write an analysis that'll also include how I feel about the ship (similarly to my Digimon shipping game analysis posts).

Disclaimer: I won't claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship's aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I've read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I'm aware that I haven't seen/read all of what's out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. So this is going to be my personal take on it.

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

HomuMami is a very curious case in regards to a very common theme in the Madoka Magica universe: Namely that of painting them as polar opposites/antagonistic forces when it comes to colour schemes (purple/black vs. yellow/white) and attitudes... While also ensuring there are enough similarities between them in both text and subtext to make the viewer/reader ask: "Well, why didn't they get along better?" Thankfully, there is a (semi-)authorized spin-off manga that explores their complementary/similarity dynamics in great detail - but we will get to that later, as we shall focus on their relationship and its development in the main story first.

When Homura Akemi (or Moemura for short) meets Mami Tomoe for the very first time, she's a beacon of strength and confidence alongside Madoka Kaname - two "senior Magical Girls" with a positive and welcoming attitude... And while Homura is mainly seen hyperfocusing on Madoka at this point in time (and doesn't even seem to take much note of the first time Mami falls in battle), it doesn't seem unlikely to assume that this is everything she ever wanted: To have reassuring people around her, friends that are kind, patient and supportive, functioning as role models to look up to. As pointed out in the HomuSaya analysis, Homura was initially very wary of Sayaka for considering her a liability - but Mami, at least at this point in time, didn't give her any reason to question her. Quite the contrary - while it's never explicitly stated in the original series (we will get back to that later!), doesn't it seem rather peculiar that Homura ends up choosing guns as her weapons of choice after everything else didn't work out...? Granted, they are no muskets, but you get the idea...

It's not until Mami snaps upon learning the truth about Magical Girls that Homura's view of her begins to crumble. The kind, strong, invincible mask, the pedestal Homura may (or may not) have put her Senpai on disappears and, timeline upon timeline, gets replaced more and more by skepticism, mistrust - and an overall hyperfocus on Mami being the actual liability in the group.

When the viewers first get to witness Mami and Homura interact without knowing their backstory, they get a sense of... Malice between them, they definitely are not on good terms and see each other as threats. Mami is portrayed as righteous, the "good" kind of Magical Girl - whereas Homura is perceived as mysterious, emotionless and cold, only working towards her own objectives without taking others into consideration. Where Mami approaches Homura with teasing passive-aggressiveness, Homura responds with cool nonchalance. As mentioned, putting characters on opposing ends is a theme throughout the entire series (see KyouSaya for comparison). However, it's also a theme in the series to have the characters put on fronts and facades - and that is the case for both Homura and Mami on various levels.

Where, oh where does one begin to describe the similarities between them? First of all, there may be the fact that they're both orphans, both suffering from survivor's guilt - and that one of their deepest initial wishes once was not to be alone anymore. We see this with Mami desperately wishing not to fight on her own anymore after being the only one surviving the car crash after making her wish - she is yearning for company, even more so after the (temporary) loss of Kyouko's friendship, displayed by the eagerness to have Madoka and Sayaka by her side (in various different timelines). Homura (while still being Moemura) considered herself worthless and unable to fit in, imperfect, unstable, weak... Until she met Madoka. And Mami. And this is where things become rather tragic - because with Mami losing her mind in one of the later timelines, she may also have lost Homura's trust indefinitely. The person who may have been the perfect friend, self-confident, beautiful and strong, who may have helped to cure her own loneliness - turned out to be imperfect, unstable, weak herself...

Again, this has not been specifically mentioned, but Homura may have been incredibly disappointed in Mami - and thus ended up cautious of her in every timeline going forward. Unfortunately, she is also proven right most of the time - but also often shows remorse for "having been too late" (to save her as well; while Mami suffers from survivor's guilt towards her parents, it's absolutely possible that Homura feels similarly about all the timelines she had to witnesses the other girls - including Mami - fall).

In general, Homura's arc is constantly accompanied by Mami's fate being her own sword of Damocles. Homura's wish may have been to meet and save Madoka again - but to accomplish that, she also had to try not to fall into despair the same way Mami did time and time again. Mami may have been her Senpai and gun-wielding role model once - and now she's turned into a negative example of how not to end up. Hence why Homura is generally incredibly observant of Mami's behaviour - and tells herself that she "could never get along" with her, as seen in Rebellion Story. In her eyes, it would have been easy for any enemy (such as Bébé) to deceive and manipulate Mami - since she considers her to be just that desperate for love and affection. Tragically enough, this may have been her inner monologue at this point, indirectly showing just how much Homura may have related to Mami:

"You're soft, you are weak and by God, I cannot afford to make the same mistakes you did, so I try to ignore the fact that I must have been pretty close to become like you several times over once I let my guard down, once I realize how incredibly lonely I am as well..."

One could even argue that this is exactly why they're 100% on par during their fight in Rebellion Story - because Homura tried so hard not to fail like Mami that she had to become at least as strong as Mami's strongest self. And yet... Homura still underestimates Mami. As well as her own perception of her - because not only did she STILL care enough not to kill her when she had the chance... She also didn't see her final trick coming, because Homura's view of Mami, just like of everyone else, is very idealized/condensed. She formed her opinion of them through all the time-loops - unsurprisingly so! - and thus, everything that exceeds her expectations cannot be considered by her.

It may be a coping mechanism, it may be her way of protecting herself - and a certain sense of suspicion may always remain within Homura when it comes to Mami. However - some timelines show that things could have gone differently. Wraith Arc for example at least hints at Homura trusting Mami enough to let her show her how to use guns after losing her own abilities - while Mami has an absolute blast acting in very senpai-esque (and even somewhat flirtatious) ways again.

And then, of course, there is Mitakihara Anti-Materials - a somewhat comedic but very heartfelt story that focuses on the premise: "What if Homura moved in with Mami in one of the timelines so they could actually get to know one another and there is hope that, in this one, Mami will actually survive thanks to the bond they develop...?" While it absolutely IS more of a comedy manga, it allows both of them to breathe in ways we haven't seen before; Homura sees Mami's more ditzy side and, instead of just considering her a liability, sees her as a good-hearted, inspiring companion (even if her Tsundere-attitude doesn't let her admit that out loud). Mami, on the other side, discovers that Homura's cool exterior is also just a facade and that she may actually just need a partner to lend her a hand (or someone who helps cutting her hair, which, in itself, is a huge sign of trust). Between weapon cleaning, game playing, study sessions, grocery shopping and lots of food talks, they really seem able to let their guard down more with each other here, there is familiarity, softness, friendly bickering, even physical closeness. It's even here that Homura admits that it had been Mami's suggestion to use guns as weapons! Although Homura is always aware of the threat that looms in the back, always cautious, one can feel the hopeful note that, maybe this time, things will be alright. In general - as well as between Mami and herself.

In the end, just like with almost all Madoka Magica ships, this one is pretty much doomed by the narrative. The main story always has them end up clashing and opposing one another - even if there is still this little glimpse of hope that, maybe the reason why they never end up beating each other in combat, is that, deep down inside, they may just care too much, but aren't able to convey that...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

Without question, it may actually take something reminiscent of the timeline in Mitakihara Anti-Materials for them to work out romantically - because this may be one of the few, if not the only timeline that allows Homura to actually look at Mami beyond the rigid image of her she has created in her mind. Beyond all idealization as well as all the negativity. Instead, she may be able to see and value their similarities and how they complement one another, finding reasons to live aside from being Magical Girls on duty... It's a rather melancholic yet very soft interpretation of "a good end" for Homura where she doesn't hyperfocus on Madoka anymore and, thus, may not even get close to fall into despair. The same goes for Mami, who not only has someone to care for, but also has that same someone - who looks through her picture-perfect facade - care for her in return, without coddling, without beating around the bush. In a timeline like this - they may actually be able to rescue one another, learn to handle both their loneliness and survivor's guilt, accept each other's flaws with endearment and become domestic life partners (as depicted above).

In regards to the "original" timeline however, just like almost every other Madoka Magica ship, they may require a lot of therapy - to get over all the prejudice and resentment they have developed towards each other. With Homura being unable to look past (herself in) Weak!Mami and Mami being unable to understand and deal with Aloof!Homura, they need a lot of rekindling to overcome the mutual mistrust. (And if you take both Rebellion Story's and Magia Record's symbolism seriously, it's no surprise that they keep opposing one another - Holy!Mami and Homucifer may be framed to be enemies just as much as Madokami and Homucifer after all...)

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

I probably would never have grown as fond of this ship if I hadn't stumbled across Mitakihara Anti-Materials by accident. Prior to reading this manga, I thought the main fascination in fandom stemmed from their fight in Rebellion Story (and the potential sexual tenson/friction that comes from the enemies-to-lovers trope, including kinky power play with ribbons...). But now I'm seeing these two in an entirely different light - even the second season of the Magia Record anime gave the whole "Homura used to look up to Mami a lot" idea a whole new spin by ACTUALLY having her carry a part of her ribbon with her... It was the Senpai/Kouhai angle we hadn't seen to this extent yet and before I knew it, I was hooked on their potential dynamic. Once again, there are a lot of "what ifs" and "almosts" sprinkled in here, especially because the main timeline prioritizes the theme of mistrust and misunderstanding between them too thoroughly. Hence why it feels so soothing to read Mitakihara Anti-Materials, which gives them such a hopeful flavour, allowing them to pause, care about and appreciate each other despite their trauma. It's a lot of wishful thinking of course, but definitely the version of them I prefer as a romantic ship!

[solar-pxwered]

continued from here || @sundragcn​

looking at the yellow prosthetic, yang sighs. she turns her arm once, twice before lavender eyes fall back on sun. he was there that night, wasn't he? it felt like an eternity ago now. not to mention that even now the details were fuzzy. "it's not really something i enjoy talking about."

she pauses, hesitancy and apprehension in her words. "it happened quick, a knee jerk reaction. all i could think about was that i had to protect blake." sighing, a hand found itself in golden locks. "i was naive, stupid. and i paid the price for it. thought i was quick, turns out-- adam was quicker." / @solar-pxwered​

           In his experience, the things people wanted to talk about the least were the things they needed to talk about the most. Maybe she wouldn’t offer him any more, but he stayed quiet and fairly still (with the exception of his gently swaying tail behind him), giving her the time and calm space to get her thoughts in order.

          She decided to speak and so Sun listened carefully, watching her expressions and movements with utmost attention, catching the hesitant way she spoke and he got the feeling there was a lot of self blame behind the words. Regret. He could easily identify with regrets, he had his share of them.

          “You did what you had to do,” he assured her, and he was confident that this was the absolute truth, “It sounds to me like there wasn’t time to plan and second guess...second guessing never helped anyone anyway. You paid the price but...when you consider the price if you’d done nothing, or waited too long, do you think...?”

          He had to be careful with his word choices here, but honestly the question was simple and so he just went with it: “Don’t you think it was a price worth paying?”

[whitleyschn33]

Not Everything Can Be Wiped Away With A Hug

Or why I’m not happy with Weiss and Whitley’s reconciliation. 

Whitley and Weiss haven’t had a great relationship. From the first time we see him, the two are shown to not be comfortable with each other. Weiss’ tone when they meet is one of dismissiveness and wariness, even if the conversation ends on a technically hopeful note. As the show goes on, every interaction the two have is riddled with tension. Weiss accuses him of wanting her loss of status, Whitley gets angry and bites back. Whitley stops by her room to ask if she wants anything and twist the knife, Weiss asks if he’s jealous and slams the door in his face. When Weiss comes back at the party, she does everything she can to brush him off, clearly annoyed, while Whitley talks about what he’s been up to since she’s been gone. Weiss laughs when Whitley gets splashed with wine, Whitley storms off in a huff. Then Weiss comes back during the... siege(? I don’t know what to call this failed attempted at a Fall), commanders the house, shoves a weapon in Whitley’s face, sends him to his room like he’s a child, and then doesn’t acknowledge him again until he calls Klein. At which point she hugs him and all tensions disappears from their relationship. 

See what’s missing here? We have point A of massive hostility between the two with both parties having grievances with the other and point B of both parties having found a balance in their relationship. What’s missing is a strong connection between those two points. What’s missing is the meat of the actual arc, something between set up and pay off, and that’s ultimately the problem with their reconciliation. It wasn’t worked for, at least on Weiss’s end. There was no effort for any of their grievances to be addressed, talked about, and worked through. There was no point where they took the grievances that had been brought up and had the characters discuss or react to them in any meaningful way. It just fell into their laps - or rather, it fell mostly into Weiss’s lap. That’s the short version, anyway. Let’s discuss the long version.

In Volume 7, Weiss and Whitley’s relationship is tense, Weiss clearly annoyed and dismissive of her brother for being a snot towards her, and Whitley angry that Weiss ignores him and abandoned him to their neglectful/abusive parents. In episode 7, though, Willow flat out tells Weiss why Whitley acts the way he does to her. Willow gives us Whitley’s motivations - that he’s hurt and resentful towards Weiss. This is the set up for a reconciliation; Weiss has been given insight into Whitley’s point of view (had it literally shoved in her face), and has the chance to contemplate it so as to be able to find common ground later. 

Plot stuff happens, and the two are separated as Weiss deals with all that until Weiss needs a place to lay low. Armed with new information on Whitley’s disposition, Weiss... 

Whitley: Oh, you’ve picked a fine time to--

Weiss interrupts by pointing Myrtenaster at him, and he looks at the blade in fright.

Weiss: Not. Another. Word. We’re coming in.

Whitley steps aside and groans as Ruby’s group walks into the manor.

...threatens him after saying 7 words. Not even words of “you can’t come in” or anything to suggest he won’t let them in but, “oh great, this is a wonderful~ time to drop by”, venting frustration. Weiss doesn’t try anything else before shoving a weapon in his face (the face of an unarmed, defenseless, civilian minor that physically can’t stop her from coming in anyway) and forcing her way inside. 

Whitley: Things are already bad enough after what you did to father, now you want us to harbor fugitives too? Our family has a reputation.

He crosses his arms in annoyance. Blake, having set Nora down on the floor, looks at him.

Blake: That’s what you’re worried about? Your reputation?

Whitley: I’m just saying that we’ve already lost all the house staff, and Mother locked herself in her room.

Weiss: Maybe you haven’t figured out what’s going on, Whitley, but we’re busy trying to save Atlas.

Whitley continues to vent his frustration. Jacques, Whitley’s only source of familial attention, has been taken away by Weiss (”what you did to Father”), the staff has all vacated the estate (most likely a combination of their employer being carted away in the back of a military truck and then all hell breaking loose in Mantle and Atlas airspace), and Willow, the only other human being in the mansion, has locked herself in her room for several hours, up to almost 24 hours (I’m honestly lost on the timeline of this volume with how much it flip-flops between night and day, and I can’t be bothered to rewatch these episodes). 

Whitley has been left completely and utterly alone, and Weiss comes back not for him, but to use his resources to hide herself and her friends, all of which are wanted by the military. I don’t know what Atlesian policy is, but harboring fugitives is a crime punishable with prison sentences in the US, dependent on what the fugitive is charged with. She’s forcing him to risk being arrested and imprisoned for her crimes, after destroying his family’s reputation with Jacques’ arrest and causing everyone to vacate the manor and leaving him utterly alone (the way he follows up Blake’s response with “I’m just saying we’ve already lost all the house staff” makes me think he’s tying those two things together. With Jacques’s arrest, their reputation is falling, and everyone’s jumping ship, starting with the house staff. Any other family allies the Schnees might have legally and politically are likely to follow suit to save their own skin (ah, societal politics of the rich). Harboring fugitives and Whitley and possibly Willow arrested as well? The Schnees are sunk, dead in the water. They’re not getting out of that, they’ll be left to the dogs.). And how does Weiss respond?

Weiss: Maybe you haven’t figured out what’s going on, Whitley, but we’re busy trying to save Atlas. 

How in the absolute hell is he supposed to come to this conclusion? No, really, tell me. He knows two things: one, he knows there’s some kind of Grimm threat in the heatless Mantle and hovering around Atlas based on the news - maybe; we don’t know how much the news has reported about how bad it is outside of that one Mantle broadcast and how much Whitley has kept up with the news (he seems the type to absorb in as much information as possible, but he may not have been watching every waking second) - and two, he knows his sister and her friends have pissed off the military and are marked as fugitives. There is no way for him to know that the group of fugitives are doing anything to help Atlas, especially when he has no way to know what’s going on and what Weiss+co are up to. Weiss’ comment does nothing but imply that he’s too wrapped up in his own stuff to see the big picture, when he doesn’t have the knowledge that there’s even a big picture to look at. Rather than trying to reach out and reason with Whitley, Weiss snaps at him and treats him like he’s being self absorbed and shallow. His life is falling apart, he’s been left behind again by staff and his mother, and Weiss doesn’t just not respond to it, she gets mad at him for it. It’s Ruby that has to step up and tell him that they just need a place for their friend to heal and then they’ll leave (which turns out to be a bold-faced lie, but that’s another post). 

Whitley relents then, and asks what they want him to do. Weiss then tells him to “go to his room”. Let’s set this up - we don’t know how old Whitley is, but we can guess based on Weiss’s age. Weiss is 19, and Whitley is likely 2 to 3 years younger, as he seems a bit older than Oscar but most likely more than a year younger than Weiss. That makes Whitley at least 16 years old, possibly 17. Whitley is either just a year younger or the same age as Ruby, the girl Weiss is blindly following as a leader. Whitley is not a child. A minor, probably, but not a child (I consider “child” to be 12 and under, and minor to be 13 - 16/17 (depending on what the age of maturity is in Remnant, which I’ve always considered to be 17 based on Beacon admission ages) btw to clarify). Yet, Weiss tells the boy that she has no legal or emotional authority over that’s about the same age as her leader to go to his room, treating him like he’s a petulant child. She doesn’t want to have to deal with him, so she shunts him aside - makes it clear that she’s not going to break his isolation, she wants him out of her way. Alone.

The relationship between Weiss and Whitley was already tense and hostile, but this pushes that to the next level. Before, it was hurt feelings and snipping - valid hurt feelings on both sides - but this has escalated it. Physical threats of violence, forcing him into committing a possible felony, and then dismissing him like he’s a child shows a lack of respect for Whitley, and is the exact opposite of working towards reconciliation. I wouldn’t be surprised if Whitley’s anger and resentment towards his sister grew after this; that would be my reaction. 

“But wait!” You might be thinking. “That’s not really fair to Weiss - she’s worried about Nora who’s possibly dying and about being followed by Atlas’ military. She just wants to get under cover as fast as possible and then get to helping Nora! She’s stressed and tense, it makes sense that she’d be brusque to Whitley; we shouldn’t judge her so harshly.” To which I say - character is the choices you make under pressure, not when everything is just fine. Weiss resorting to the threat of violence immediately against someone she knows is no threat when faced with a tense situation where some diplomacy and respect would go a long way, it’s not a good look for who she is as a person. But alright, let’s play that game. Weiss is too worried about Nora to deal with Whitley at the moment. She gets Nora to bed, starts treating her as best she can, and then... 

Nothing. Weiss doesn’t speak to Whitley again until he calls Klein for Nora, presumably a day later (once again, I’m not entirely sure. They arrive at what I believe is sunset, Amity happening that night, then the sun rising or setting in Midnight (?) and in War it’s night again as Klein arrives, so I think that this has  to be the next night but it’s extremely difficult to tell and causes a crap ton of plot holes, thanks a lot CRWBY (I might skim through each episode to put together just how broken the timeline is)). That’s 24 hours where Weiss didn’t decide to ask Ruby or Blake (who I would have thought would be the one to have the most first aid knowledge of the three with her militia group experience) to watch over Nora for a few minutes while she seeks out Whitley to talk to him. 24 hours where she didn’t choose to apologize for threatening him, or go to talk to him about what’s going on, or follow up on Willow’s request, or ask if their mother is even alive still if she’s been locked up drinking for over a day, probably 2 (again, the timeline is fucked up). That’s not “I’m rushing and being harsher than I normally would out of concern for my friend”, that’s “I don’t regret or care about how I’ve treated my brother; I don’t see any reason to reach out to him” (And as side note - if Weiss had gone to see Whitley earlier, letting him know just how bad of shape Nora was in, Whitley might have called Klein earlier. By talking to her brother, Weiss could have gotten Nora the help she needed sooner, but she didn’t).

This is the next conversation Weiss and Whitley have after she threatens him and sends him to his room. I know I spent far too long breaking it down, but that was just one incident, the only one between  between Willow telling Weiss to not forget Whitley and their hug.

Weiss: You called Klein?

Whitley: That girl needs a doctor. (turns away from Weiss) I didn’t do it for you.

Weiss: I know. That’s why it means so much to me.

Whitely gasps as Weiss steps forward to hug him. After some hesitation, he sighs and embraces her back. Weiss gasps when she and the others hear an explosion from outside.

That’s it. That’s their reconciliation. After this point, Whitley shows no anger towards Weiss or brings up his issues with her, so we’re meant to think that this is it, the Weiss-Whitley reconciliation is over.

Now, on Weiss’s side, I could see this putting Whitley in her good graces (maybe). Weiss’ grievances with Whitley boil down to hurt feelings over him being a snot about her loss of inheritance and being annoying. Whitley was being a jerk about it when he came around in V4E9 to twist the knife, but we know why he did that (he was pushing his own situation in Weiss’s face, a “see how you like it, being stuck here alone like I was” type thing), Weiss does get an explanation for it later from Willow, and at the end of the day, that’s all he did. He didn’t betray her, act against her, try and get her in trouble with Jacques - he didn’t do anything to her. Gloating at the role reversal is petty, yes, but it’s not like Weiss doesn’t attempt to fire right back, and it’s not like she wasn’t plenty rude to him when accusing him of wanting it to happen. Weiss mentions “you never liked me” in V4E7, but we never get anything more specific than that, and implies that he was just bitter and snippy with her like he is in V4E9. Theoretically he could have been an absolute terror before, but since we’re never shown any of this or given any examples, it’s difficult to factor in anything Whitley may have done before V4 as a piece of Weiss’ attitude towards him. Point is, since I’m starting to ramble, is that ultimately Whitley hasn’t done anything but hurt Weiss’s feelings, and him calling a doctor for Nora purely because Nora needs one feels like it might be enough to put Whitley in Weiss’ good graces, even if it raises some uncomfortable implications - that Weiss only extends her love and affection when Whitley does something she likes and can revoke it if he does something she doesn’t (like make a light joke).

On Whitley’s end, though, this scene is an absolute mess of an ending. At the end of Volume 7, Whitley is angry and resentful towards Weiss (and Winter) for abandoning him to abusive and neglectful parents, and then arresting Jacques, taking away his only source of attention and dealing a huge blow to their family’s status. In Volume 8, Weiss comes back, threatens him physically, dismisses his concerns, treats him like a child by sending him to his room, and leaves him alone again until he does something she likes. At no point does Weiss do anything that would make his attitude towards her shift to the better; in fact, she does things that should only further alienate him. Why is Whitley no longer mad at her? Because she gave him a hug? That doesn’t change that she still (from his point of view) abandoned him without a second thought, blamed him for things he didn’t do, threatened him with a weapon, forced him to harbor them, and then talked down to him and pushed him aside when she didn’t want to deal with him - abandoning him again. Weiss has done nothing to make Whitley any less resentful. She hasn’t acknowledged how she’s hurt him, they haven’t discussed why he was so hurt by her leaving, there’s been no attempt for the rift between them to be mended. Weiss just hugs him, and somehow that makes everything better. I didn’t realize that Whitley was so completely starved for affection that a hug makes him forget everything leading up to it - a hug that he initially backed away from.

He has his hands raised defensively, he starts backing away, and his expression is completely shocked. His posture is completely stiff, his arms falling to his side and hands clenching into fists. He’s clearly not comfortable with this initially, before giving in with a sigh and hugging Weiss back - giving in and giving Weiss what she wants. 

Weiss is happy with him now, so Whitley can’t be upset. Weiss gives her approval, Whitley has been useful to her, so Whitley is “redeemed” in the eyes of the characters and the audience. What Whitley wants, what Whitley feels, what motivates Whitley? They don’t matter now that Weiss cares about him again. They aren’t discussed, they don’t continue to effect how Whitley acts and views Weiss, Weiss has forgiven him, so Whitley isn’t allowed to still be pissed with Weiss. Weiss didn’t have to do anything to reconcile with her brother, she doesn’t have to be humbled or acknowledge her own role in this dysfunctional relationship. She got to treat him with violence and like a child, and then hug him and act like everything is forgiven when by all reasonable logic, Whitley should be pushing her away, repeating that he didn’t do this for her and to back off.

Weiss didn’t work for this; Weiss didn’t earn this. Whitley’s own emotions and motivations were stripped away to let her get her brother on her side without her having to confront her own mistakes, because RWBY refuses to let its main girls make mistakes.

This isn’t the first time this has happened in RWBY, far from it. This isn’t even the only example of this happening with Whitley. Next episode and a few later, they do the exact same thing with Whitley and Willow! Whitley starts episode 8 rightfully pissed at his mother; she’s left him completely alone for two days straight to drink in her room, being less than useless, straight up neglectful. This anger carries on when she tries to call him, him turning to the door as the Hound approaches with anger. During the Hound attack, Willow grabs onto him, and he lets him. That makes sense, both of them were extremely frightened by this Grimm unlike anything they’d ever seen. What doesn’t make sense is that in episodes 11 and 12, Willow is still hanging onto him. I haven’t watched episode 11 for personal reasons (RWBY’s pissed me off), but I’ve seen the screenshots.

Willow’s holding onto him like she’s showing him off with pride. It’s a cute image - but why is Whitley allowing it? Why is Whitley not pulling away? Whitley was rightfully angry at his mother for neglecting him, for leaving him emotionally and mentally, right up until the Hound attack. Now, I know what you’re thinking; Willow saved his life. They killed the Hound together. Something like that, it can being people together. I agree - and I would even buy that being the spark for Whitley giving his mother another chance if there had been any kind of scene or even conversation on screen where we get to see this transition from rightfully anger at a drunk neglectful mother to a son giving a proud mother another chance at being his mother. It would have been incredibly easy to slip in, too! Like, and I’m just spitballing here -

Willow after the Hound is killed: Are you alright, Whitley?

Whitley: Oh, so you suddenly care. That’s nice to know.

Willow: I have always cared -

Whitley: Then you haven’t ever shown it! Whitley gets visibly angry. You’ve done nothing but leave me alone in this house with him while you drown yourself in your wine. You haven’t cared about me since I was 7 years old! Stop acting like you’re my mother! Whitley starts walking off. 

Willow: Whitley - ! Willow reaches out for Whitley and stops him I - she deflates - You’re right. I have been a horrible mother. I’ve left you alone, all this time, and if I had been even slightly more drunk tonight, you might have been killed.  ...I might have lost you for good, and it would have been my own fault. I’m sorry...

Whitley: He pauses, and falls silent. 

Willow: ...Please. I almost lost you tonight, and I don’t want to lose you to something I can fix. Is there anything I can do? Can I... Can I get a chance?

Whitley: .....he turns back to Willow, taking a deep breath, and looks up at her. ...One chance. You can’t - You can’t fix all of this, but... Whitley looks away ...I’ve wanted you back for 9 years. I don’t want to lose you either if I might get you back.

Willow: Willow looks surprised, before giving him a weak smile and pulling him into a hug. Thank you, Whitley. And I am so, so proud of you.

Whitley: Whitley stiffens with surprise, looking at his mother with shock, but returns the shaky smile and hugs her back.

One minute for this conversation, and I would be completely on board with Whitley and Willow seeming to reconcile as well. The same goes with Weiss, except a longer conversation.

If Weiss and Whitley had had even one talk where they both admit their faults and failings, apologize to each other, and agree to try again, I would be all on board with this Schnee family reconciliation. As it is now, though, with how it’s been written in the show, neither Weiss nor Willow have had to work to repair their relationships with Whitley; Whitley’s anger has just been wiped away. They set up the potential for reconciliation between Weiss and Whitley, between Willow and Whitley, acknowledging why Whitley is angry with both of them, but rather than have any of the characters take that knowledge and use it to reach out to Whitley, the writers skip all of that and let the characters treat Whitley however they want until they end up reconciled with one act. A single summon is treated like it makes up for years of neglect. A single hug because Whitley was useful to Weiss is treated like it makes up for abandonment, disrespect, and threats of violence. They don’t, and the lack of respect the writers’ have for the emotions of a male abuse victim sickens me.

[littlemisssquiggles]

What do you think of the idea of Emerald/Oscar? They have some soft moments together.

Hello Sweet o/ Well this squiggle meister is definitely on-board with the Green Team/Emerald City pair as a FRIEND-ship with Emerald being yet another proxy big sister figure to “adopt” Oscar as their close companion whereas the little prince in turn could finally provide Emerald with the strong and devoted family type of bond that Emerald truly wants and failed to garner from the villain side especially with Cinder Fall who she saw as a “mother” or close guardian figure who saved her from her former life of poverty.

Another reason why I like the Emerald City duo is because I’d like to think that part of Oscar’s willingness to believe in Emerald and desire to look out for her stems from him and Oz essentially fulfilling Hazel’s role of continuing to watch over her in his absence.

After all, it wasn’t just Oscar to be saved from Monstra. Emerald was too. Hazel Rainart gave his life to ensure that both Oscar and Emerald were finally free of Salem and since Hazel is gone, Oscar probably sees it as his right to stand by Em in his place; especially since he also owes her for his salivation.

Plus, a second reason why I think the showrunners may be pushing the Emerald City bond is because, ultimately, Emerald will become the next Fall Maiden; replacing Cinder Fall. 

Think about it. Professor Ozpin was the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. Beacon Academy is the fortress secretly housing the Vault of the Fall Maiden which contains the Crown of Choice---the only relic that Salem couldn’t acquire on her own since the true path to claiming it still rests in Ozma’s memories. Memories that will soon be passed onto Oscar Pine who is Ozma’s current incarnate officially succeeding Professor Ozpin.

Even if Oscar gains the knowledge to locate the Relic of Choice; he and the heroes would still need the hand of the Fall Maiden to open the vault. And as it stands, the Fall Maiden powers still rest with Cinder Fall who Emerald Sustrai was a former affiliate of and whom she shares a bond with; whether Cinder dares to admit it or not.

You see where I’m going with this?

 Emerald becoming the Fall Maiden after Cinder has been a headcanon for her that I’ve been rooting for since the conclusion of V5. Based on how things are shaping up and what is required to move forward, I think Cinder’s final curtain call may be drawing near and what would actually be most fitting is if Emerald is the one to deal the killing blow to Cinder.

As a matter of fact, it would almost be symbolic if Emerald is the one of all characters to be the one to put a stop to Cinder---not only saving the others from her but also ironically saving Cinder from herself. Emerald killing Cinder would be an act of mercy from someone who genuinely loved Cinder and wanted nothing but the best for her. And why I love this idea is because it would be a fantastic parallel to the end of Cinder’s backstory in the Midnight episode.

In RWBY V8CH6, Cinder’s path and descent in her megalomaniac madness was forged the instant she killed Rhodes. Say what you will about him as a character; Rhodes cared deeply for Cinder…even up until the moment she cut him down with the very same weapon he gifted her. 

So with that in mind, imagine how fitting of an ending it would be if Cinder died the very same way she was ‘born’, essentially.

You can pretty much say that the person we know Cinder Fall to be was born when she killed her former mentor and the one person in her life that actually genuinely cared about her at the time. 

 So…imagine the poetic irony that would be for Cinder Fall to now die---killed by the hands of her own former apprentice and the one person in her life who genuinely cared about her at the time---Emerald Sustrai.

Imagine if…Emerald kills Cinder and Cinder gets a strange sense of déjà vu because not only did her surprised expression at being killed by Emerald reflect the one Rhodes made to her the night he died but through Emerald, Cinder sees her former young self---the side of her she discarded when she chose her path that night. 

Cinder began her path with the bloody end of a blade through the chest of someone close to her. So for Emerald to kill Cinder the same way---even better if it’s done with her very own weapon---then that would be…downright perfect as ending to Cinder’s arc.

Apologies to all the Cinder Fall fans reading this post. The CRWBY showrunners have had Cinder dance with death one too many times. I myself have honestly been curious about how Cinder’s story was going to end in the canon. While I still like my Red Queen headcanon for her, I would be okay with Cinder dying if Emerald was the one to kill her.

NOT Ruby. NOT Jaune. But Emerald. If there is one character who would be most fitting to be the one to put an end to Cinder Fall, it would be Emerald.

Killing Cinder, especially if it was done in protection and/or aid of the heroes, would be the final nail in Emerald’s own arc of “switching sides”.

As stated back between V6 and V8, Cinder was technically the one thing still tying Em to the side of evil as she once remarked that she was only on Salem’s side out of her loyalty to Cinder. Emerald already left Salem but Cinder still lives as an anchor to possibly tempt Em back to the side of evil. But if Em were to be the one to stop Cinder, then that cord would finally be cut thus cementing Emerald as being on the side of good---officially in respect to her story.

Emerald helping to save Oscar and return him to his allies on Monstra doesn’t make her a “good guy”. Emerald helping our heroes take down Ironwood, help Penny and save the refugees of Atlas and Mantle doesn’t even make her a “good guy” either.

But stopping Cinder Fall for good---to be the one to put her down and essentially save everyone from the monster she knew Cinder would ultimately become if not stopped--- that, to me, would be the move to officiate Emerald Sustrai as a “good guy”.

Even better if Cinder were to plant the tough choice right in Em’s face. Imagine if…Cinder puts Oscar’s life in danger and orders Em to be the one to kill Oscar for her; like the devoted pawn she always treats her as. Imagine if…Em is placed in a position where she is made to choose between her old loyalty to Cinder as a villain or her newfound loyalty to Oscar as a hero.

Just as how Cinder was Emerald’s anchor to the villains on Salem’s side, Oscar is technically now Emerald’s anchor to the heroes on Ozpin’s side. So if Cinder forces Em to kill Oscar but Em ends up killing Cinder instead to save Oscar for a second time----this would be it. This would be the deed that cements Emerald as formally giving up on Cinder and fighting for the side of good; at least in my humble opinion.

And the cherry on top would be that killing Cinder causes the Fall Maiden powers to go directly to Emerald and if Emerald becomes the Fall Maiden---the maiden tied to the vault and relic housed in the school that is tied to Professor Ozpin whose very successor is her closest ally on the hero team---I’d like to think this would be a perfect conclusion to Emerald’s “arc”. I think that could work epically.

This is why I’m rooting for Em to become the next Fall Maiden. This happening would definitely further cement the Emerald City dynamic since Oscar’s new “big sister” or rather “cousin” would be the maiden tied to “his” relic needed to open “his” vault hidden in “his” school.

(I think I’d rather refer to Emerald as Oscar’s adopted cousin since I low-key like the concept of Oscar taking Emerald back home with him to Mistral only for her to be adopted immediately by his family since Emerald was an orphan who grew up on the streets and never truly had a family of her own but ultimately finds one with the Pines who willingly take her in. It FITS; dagnabbit.)

My one gripe with Emerald City duo though is that I wished it had better build-up throughout the series run. I’d be lying if the fact that Emerald and Oscar barely had any interactions prior to V8 definitely hurts the believability of them suddenly being close now with Oscar willing to vouch for the good in Emerald…even though he literally just met her like yesterday according to the timeline.

I know it helps the meme of Emerald “only knowing Oscar for 24 hours and would be willing to kill anyone who dares to hurt him” but from a storytelling perspective, I really wish the development of this dynamic had been delivered better. I mean I’m happy that we finally got the payoff of Emerald and Oscar becoming friends and seeing Em joining the heroes thanks to her friendship with Oscar…but it’s like eating a delicious cheese burger without the cheese.

You get to see the beginning of it and the joyful payoff of the end but the middle part that was needed to make it fully work is non-existent and ends up hurting it in respect to consistency. 

While I understand that Emerald helped to save Oscar’s life---that’s not really enough to sell his sudden faith in her. At least for me. Can’t speak for everyone else. Since, like I said, we barely got any scenes of Oscar and Em interacting before she showed up to help get him out of Monstra.

The ONLY thing that’s canonically helping sell Emerald City to me is the fact that Hazel was shown to care for and look out for Emerald’s wellbeing in the past and since Oscar spent more time with Hazel; by extension; custody of Em was transferred to Oscar/Oz the minute Hazel died…especially since, he was technically the one forced to kill him when he sacrificed himself to stop Salem.

I guess I just personally would’ve liked to have seen these two interact more over the seasons, particularly for V8 while Oscar was imprisoned. 

Perhaps that chance will come now that Em is on the team working with ALPN. And it would probably work even better if Em becomes the Fall Maiden. But for now that’s mostly just speculation.

All in all, bottom line---as I’ll say again, this squiggle meister really likes Emerald City as another close friendship dynamic for Oscar and Em respectively and I’m looking forward to seeing how this dynamic develops over the next season. 

I’m curious to see how much more Em and Oscar can help each other as friends especially since Oscar still has own inner demons with the Merge to deal with emotionally and I’m especially curious to see how Em would react to reuniting with Mercury in Vacuo now that she’s joined the heroes---even better if she’s now the Fall Maiden after killing Cinder. 

That should be a fun development but we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, hope this lengthy response answers your question, Sweet XD

~ LittleMissSquiggles (2021)

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 306 Spoilers Quick Thoughts: Holy Shit, Deku

Ok, I’ve decided to wait until I read the ReadMHA fan translations to make a full “Spoiler Thoughts” post because it’s easier for me to look at them than look back and fourth at various Twitter accounts to get the full picture.  Regarless, THIS CHAPTER OH MY GOD!!!!!!!  I haven’t been this antsy for leak images since the “Dabi is Touya Todoroki” reveal.  I wanted to write this last night, but I was already in bed crying and screaming my head off that I couldn’t.  Now that I have most of it processed, I need to write down some quick thoughts at least to get some stuff out:

First of all, I need to address THE BALLS ON HORIKOSHI-SENSEI FOR PULLING THIS SHIT OUT ON US AND MAKING IT WORK SWEET JESUS I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALL!!!!!!  THIS MAN BAITED US WITH THE 2ND AND 3RD ONE FOR ALL USERS AND MAYBE SOME THERAPY FOR OUR KIDS BUT NOPE!  HE JUST PULLED THE RUG UNDER ALL OF US AND THEN MADE DEKU LEAVE UA AND GO ALL VIGILANTE ON OUR ASSES!!!!!  I HATE IT HERE BUT I ALSO LOVE IT HERE I-

Second of all, the big topic that we all need to talk about: Deku leaving UA and everyone else to go off on his own.

Out of all the twist Horikoshi has pulled on us, I think this is the biggest and most unexpected one.  I honestly did think that some UA students would quit trying to be Pro Heroes after the war because of how much corruption and trauma has been brought to the surface.  But, Deku was one of the last people on my mind.  Out of all the characters in this series, I would think Deku would stay and prove to everyone that it’s ok to keep striving towards being a hero.  But, no...  He still wants to be a hero, but not the way any of us expected.  

Before Deku left, he wrote and left individual letter for every one of his fellow 1-A students (and hopefully his mom, All Might, Mirio, and Eri (OH, ERI ;~;)).  In it, he tells them the truth about One For All and why Shigaraki and All For One are after him.  Of course, all the kids are devastated.  What’s interesting to me is that we didn’t get reactions from everyone, it was mainly Uraraka.  This makes me wonder a few things:

1. If Deku wrote these out individually (his arms probably mostly healed at this point b/c he’s using them in the last page), I wonder if he wrote anything special for some of them.  Especially the people he’s close to.  Like, I need to know what he wrote to Iida, to Uraraka, to Inko, to All Might, TO SHOTO, TO BAKUGO.

2. WE DON’T GET TO SEE SHOTO’S AND BAKUGO’S REACTIONS TO DEKU LEAVING THEM AND I NEED TO SEE THEM NOW!  I DON’T CARE HOW SAD AND ANGSTY IT WILL BE I NEED TO SEE THEM!  I WANT TO SEE SHOTO BE A LITTLE BETRAYED BY THE LYING BUT ALSO COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING THAT DEKU DID THIS TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE!  I NEED TO SEE BAKUGO WONDERING WHERE HIS DAMN NERD WENT AND MAYBE TRY TO FIND HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY OTHER STUDENT WHO KNEW ABOUT OFA!  I KNOW I’M SCREAMING BUT AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The final panel takes place in April, about a month after the war started and ended.  We weren’t given a specific timeline in when exactly Deku left UA, but it’s somewhere within that month.  So, does this mean he’s been on his own for nearly a month?  What has he been doing this entire time?

And that final double-page spread...  Good lord almighty.  It shows Deku standing on top of a building looking down at a villain attacking the city.  He’s in his hero costume but it’s all ripped up and worn out (probably what remains of it after the war arc.  I noticed his air gauntlets and arm bracers are gone too after looking at Deku again.  He still has his iron soles for his Shoot Style though).  He has his backpack on him and what looks like the rest of Gran Torino’s cape.  It hasn’t been confirmed if Gran Torino is alive or dead if Deku took his cape, but I can only assume he died based on Deku’s sad face and that there’s honestly no way Torino survived his injuries I’m sorry.  I’d be shocked if he were alive at this point.

And the last panel...  Deku looks so tired.  The light in his eyes is just gone as he says “A big villain” while looking out at the city.  Bringing us back to Chapter 1 of BNHA where one of Deku’s first pieces of dialogue was “A big villain!” while watching it rampage in the middle of the city.  Everything’s come full circle it seems and in the most depressing way possible.  I feel so bad for Deku.  He’s only 16 and even though his will to be a hero is still strong, I feel like a part of him has died honestly.  That childlike hope and innocence he’s shown since the very beginning doesn’t look to be there anymore.  My boy’s exhausted, Horikoshi, please give him a break.  And give yourself one too.

I wonder, if Deku is still doing hero work, but isn’t at UA anymore, does this mean he’s a vigilante?  I know he has his Provisional License, but does that thing even work if you’re not enrolled in the Hero Program you went to?  Because if it doesn’t, then Deku has technically gone full vigilante.  He looks like he’s about to put his bunny mask on in that last panel actually.  His current state of his costume screams vigilante to me even.  I’m really interested in seeing what Deku’s been doing and what he’s going to do now.  We know he left UA to protect everyone he cares about (because OFA is like a beacon to AFO now), but how long is he going to keep this up?  Is he going to run into Bakugo or anyone else in the meantime?  Is he going to run into the vigilantes from the BNHA Spin-off manga (Koichi, Pop-Step, Knuckleduster) or other vigilantes?  Is he ever going to see his friends and mom again?  Will any of our UA kids drop out of the hero course too?  I have so many questions, guys.  I want to go back to high school shenanigans, but that’s clearly not happening soon.     

Finally, the chapter appears to be titled “The Beginning of The End” or “Opening of Final Chapter”.  Ngl, I legit thought that this meant that the series was really ending like Horikoshi talked about in his last interview.  I took that with a grain of salt, but I don’t know anymore.  This could mean an end to the whole “Academia” part of the story.  We might get a big time-skip like Naruto, One Piece, Haikyuu, and a lot of other manga did before it.  I kinda don’t want this to happen because I like seeing characters grow in chronological order and Horikoshi-sensei has been pretty good at twisting the usual tropes, but I don’t know this time guys.  The chapter ends on a good spot to do a big time-skip if Horikoshi wants.  But, honestly, everything’s up in the air right now.  I have so many theories in my head right now about what might happen next.  This is truly some peak fiction though like goddamn.  I really hope this doesn’t mean that we’re reaching the final arc of the series, but if Horikoshi want it to be, then I have no choice but to respect that.  I really hope it isn’t though.

Me after the insanity that was this chapter:  

[knightimehopes]

The Conversation.

Ult Dirk: …

Ult Dirk: I know you’re here, and listening.

Ult Dirk: You have no choice but to listen to this, so save yourself the trouble and show yourself.

Ult Dirk: We need to talk, and I’m not interested in you being a whiny, adamant little shit about it.

Ult Dirk: There you go, the young Prince finally got his ass in gear.

Ult Dirk: It took you long enough, I had thought I’d needed to taunt you out like one of those seductive pole dancers that old Earth apparently liked. Of course, nobody actually cares about that.

Ult Dirk: The web of realities finally connect to bring us to this very moment, tying together into a tapestry of universes showing off our huge ass face as if we needed a huge display of our collective ego any more than we did.

Ult Dirk: Which I did of course.

Ult Dirk: We were meant to speak again, in order to get to the true fucking culspe of our narrative importance.

Dirk: (Jesus fucking Christ.)

Ult Dirk: Look, I’ll get to the point.

Dirk: That’s a first.

Dirk: Thought you were going to suck off your own dick of infinite splinters for fifty hours so you can spout shit about random philosophy I’m pretty sure you don’t actually give a flying fuck about.

Ult Dirk: Do you really want to go down the road of selfcest?

Ult Dirk: I know you hate me, but let’s have mercy on the both of us and not bring that topic into this.

Ult Dirk: I’m not a fan.

Dirk: Aren’t you the motherfucker who said, and I quote;

Dirk: “I had thought I’d needed to taunt you out like one of those seductive pole dancers that old Earth apparently liked.”?

Dirk: I wasn’t the one who began to say the creepiest shit to a sixteen year old version of myself.

Dirk: So grow the fuck up and get to the point.

Ult Dirk: I won’t fall for your childish insults, because you clearly have no idea about the importance of this conversation.

Ult Dirk: I’m pretty sure this is the only point you’ll actually find any relevance in any timeline, and even that is a stretch.

Ult Dirk: You’re not something of worth because of your own actions, and you should honestly be thanking me that I brought you here.

Ult Dirk: Limelight finally shines upon your insignificant self, for the third time mind you.

Ult Dirk: This is your last chance to accept my offer, and I will tell you one. Last. Time.

Ult Dirk: I want you to allow me to use your body as my vessel in your universe.

Ult Dirk: I have my limits on where my influence can get to, as you know. I actually only cared about this timeline having my control dominationg it, at first.

Ult Dirk: But I had an epiphany.

Ult Dirk: Your timeline, among others, is within the Alpha timeline, as surprising as I’m sure you think it is.

Ult Dirk: A gleaming beacon shining through the god damn garbage of dumbass timelines that have no bearing on anyone or anything.

Ult Dirk: So I thought this;

Ult Dirk: You can help me bring your timeline, and universe along with it, to true narrative supremacy alongside mine.

Ult Dirk: Disagree with me if you want, go on ahead, but consider my offer before you decide to make yourself a fucking waste.

Ult Dirk: Everyone benefits from an actual point for existing, Dirk. Your friends are hellbound towards meaninglessness and redundancy, repeating the same old actions and the same old routine. You’ll get sick of it eventually, all of you will.

Ult Dirk: This cannot be stressed enough, you just can’t give up my chance to attain continuous relevancy. People won’t watch a story without enlarged stakes, and my supreme domination with thousands of stories to come will keep us in the public eye for a long, long while.

Ult Dirk: Make your choice wise-

Dirk: Okay, shut the everloving fuck up, please.

Dirk: I’ve had my patience with you the first two times.

Dirk: But it’s worn thin.

Dirk: Nobody is interested in an out of character incel who’s decided that the only way he’ll look appealing is if he cosplays in the worst Kamina cosplay anyone’s seen in decades.

Dirk: No one, and I mean no one, is going to give a fuck about what some random pompous poofy pants asshole says in his psychotic ramblings about some “Narrative” or whatever the fuck you keep spouting on and on with.

Dirk: Speaking of, what the fuck even is this long winded metaphor of yours that you keep on mentioning with readers and stories anyways? It’s gotten old after the first fucking mention of it.

Dirk: There is no goddamn point to anything you’re even saying with it, at least I have a method to the shitty fucking madness that is my life that I put all my friends through.

Dirk: You’re just spouting shit and acting out without even understanding the ramifications or even acknowledging how much of a shithead you come off as instead of how you want to be seen.

Dirk: Everybody knows you’re just putting on the act of being an all knowing holier than thou smug prick, but the only thing you are is a coward who can’t come to terms with anything.

Dirk: We’ve talked too many times, and you told me everything you did, and the only thing you accomplished is disgusting me more and more.

Dirk: I don’t know what got you to this point, how you got so far off the path we promised for ourselves.

Dirk: To be frank, I stopped giving a fuck when you told me what you did to our friends.

Dirk: You turned Jane into a facist Republican propaganda piece with your absolutely deplorable bullshit “narration” powers, you reduced Jake to a goddamn manchild who can’t even stand in front of a crowd without shitting himself.

Dirk: And I don’t even know if this is your fault or Roxy somehow was forced to lose brain cells, but for your Roxy, they’ve been essentially simplified into pink Dave at this goddamn point, not to mention that you’ve insulted them by not even dignifying their identity.

Dirk: That’s not even the beginning, mind you. But the fact that you decided that the people we loved for years deserved to be riduculed, infantalized, demonized, and reduced to imbeciles by your hand is something that you remotely deemed okay? That’s a transgression I can’t be anything but disgusted with you for.

Ult Dirk: You clearly misunderstand how inconsequential all you just criticized me for was and still is.

Ult Dirk: Dirk, misgendering and manipulation means nothing compared to what I have in store.

Ult Dirk: You don’t even have any proof to show that I did it in any case, all everyone knows is that I left on some mission that nobody fucking knows jack on.

Ult Dirk: How bad can I truly be, with just those as my only crimes?

Dirk: Perfect segway into how you kidnapped Rose, corrupted her, and manipulated her wife into believing everything I just stated and more was fucking okay by her when she clearly didn’t, and now she wants to fucking murder you, and so on.

Dirk: Not to mention, John Egbert.

Ult Dirk: I didn’t do anything to John.

Ult Dirk: Bare in mind that it still was useful for getting the Seer of Mind on my side, regardless of the blame for his death. Seriously, how the hell did I do anything to a guy far out of my reach?

Dirk: Sure, because you totally didn’t bullshit the concept of “Cherub Poison” that essentially one shot kills god tiers and completely bypasses our complete bullshit deus ex machina known as conditional immortality.

Dirk: Either way, doesn’t excuse that you used his death to manipulate a grieving woman either. I can go on, but seriously.

Dirk: It baffles me that you think any of this fucking shit is remotely excuseable. We’re done here.

Dirk: Get a life, you sorry sack of shit. You don’t even deserve any of the similes turned defemations or symbolic insults I can come up with right now.

Ult Dirk: You go when I say you go.

Ult Dirk: You want to play a game?

Ult Dirk: Fine.

Ult Dirk: I’ll humor you.

Ult Dirk: I want to-

Dirk: -Play a game in which I’m still a piece of shit trying to manipulate another person around him into his twisted schemes.

Dirk: That’s what you should have gone on to end it with. Because we know it’s the truth.

Dirk: Real fucking original line, by the way. Want to pull out the bro vs. bro strife drama out of your ass to add on to the shitty callback cake? Just sprinkle that shit on there?

Ult Dirk: You’ll never understand, will you?

Dirk: I could honestly say the same to you, especially when you try to look like the king of the weaboo neckbeards.

Ult Dirk: Don’t compare me to Tegiri Kalbur.

Dirk: Who the hell even is that? You know what, don’t care.

Dirk: What I’m saying is that despite your reasoning of this being all important because you’re suddenly the villain now out of left field, doesn’t explain how this has remotely any point to even happen in the first place.

Dirk: If you wanted relevance through this Sburb session you’re trying to set up, then think about it. Would anyone have complained about you going off to make some new alien species on a new planet? I doubt they actually would have, if you didn’t go off and specifically piss off everyone in your five hundred thousand mile vicinity.

Dirk: Hell, I guarantee some people would have wanted to help you out with some of this shit, it probably would have been an entertaining experience for some of the more scientifically minded folks in our social circle.

Dirk: Not that you care, you’ve made that pretty evident.

Ult Dirk: I’m not letting you leave.

Ult Dirk: This decision has long left your capability to effect it. I gave you your chances to assimilate with me willingly, and you chose to shit on my offers time and time again.

Ult Dirk: So you’ve left me no choice but to beat you down myself, and make sure you finally understand your place, and your role in the frameworks of my greatest masterpiece.

Ult Dirk: My words explaining to you how you don’t understand weren’t me flexing the muscles of my ego in your face, Dirk. It was an explanation on how futile your resistance truly is.

Ult Dirk: Come at me bro. We’ll make this happen.

Dirk: Finally, some words we can agree on.

Ult Dirk: And I’ll cut this off for the dumbass posting this to Tumblr of all places with a nice, shoddily made callback.

Seriously, Tumblr? You have a fanfic you can just as easily post all this to on AO3, you could have made your own website, but you chose Tumblr. This is what I get when I let a sixteen year old have the reigns.

If you want some context on this motherfucker, too bad. I’m not promoting shit for this child who thinks that my work is child’s play written by a band of idiots. They can do it themselves.

The next page will be up soon, so you can truly see who’s in charge here.

Until this bastard finishes the art, Dirk Strider, signing off. (God, that was the most moronic sentence I’ve had the displeasure to say. Of course they need me to sign off this way.)

Pg 1. You are Here

Pg 2. Coming Soon

Divergent Reality so far:

[a-lil-bi-furious]

📓📓

Fantastic, thank you! 😊💜

📓 #1 So a long while back I stumbled across this post, and ever since I've been thinking about an AU based on the Dread Doctors took Alicia premise. There are multiple ways that could go, but the one living in my head is also a Boyd lives AU. I've got the idea vaguely plotted, but I'm not sure I'll ever actually write it. If I did, it would either switch between Boyd and Alicia (covering 3A-4 events from Boyd's POV, then switch between him and Alicia when she shows up and recount her time with the DD's through flashbacks) or just be Alicia's (and recount her time growing up with the DD's and then S5 from her POV, with Boyd 3A-4 as just given background).

So, Boyd doesn't die in 3A. He's severely injured and Kali and the twins assume he's dead, but they get him to Deaton just in time. It takes a while to get him healed up, but he does. After Erica's murder, Derek's fall to beta, and Cora's departure, Boyd has a period of time where he slips back into isolation from everyone, choosing to be an omega. 3B goes relatively the same, on Boyd's end he'd be dealing with a lot of anger and sadness and tension with the twins and Derek. He helps Scott and the others face the Nogitsune in the end and tentatively joins Scott's pack. Isaac still leaves. :( Allison still dies. :( S4 focuses more on the fallout of 3A/3B trauma/grief and establishes a foundation for their patchwork pack bonding. Scott doesn't bite Liam; instead he develops a strong bond with Boyd.

Anyway, S5 comes along and after years of her disappearance being a cold case, by some miracle Alicia is found and she returns home to Beacon Hills. 

The post I referenced talked about Alicia being the DD's first chimera instead of Theo, but I think it would actually be fun exploring S5 with both Alicia and Theo having been taken by the Dread Doctors. I'm not quite sure what the timeline for Alicia's disappearance is, but based on how young Boyd sounded I'm guessing it was around the same time Theo would have been taken (at most within a couple years before/after). All the possibilities for weaponizing them against each other--whether they hate one another because the DD's pit them against each other or they care deeply for each other and the DD's use threats toward one as motivation for the other--would be so interesting in comparison to Theo on his own. And I think making Theo kill his sister but not making Alicia kill Boyd would be excellent cannon fodder to create tension. Anyhow, Theo's job is much the same--to find the pack weak spots and poke/prod until they fall apart. Alicia's job is very specifically to re-establish an emotional connection with Boyd and manipulate him into killing Scott. (I'm tossing the 'only a bitten beta can steal true alpha power' in the trash and just saying Scott's beta, because they clearly hadn't thought of that rule until S5 demanded it.) And it works...almost. Alicia becomes extremely hesitant about what they're doing after she and Boyd really do reconnect. The DD's severely underestimated how close they were before taking her, and the moment she figures out the rest of the plan--for Theo to kill Boyd and become an alpha--she decides to tell Boyd and the pack the truth. I don't know exactly how it would go from here, but she doesn’t get the chance to do so in time. Maybe the DD's threaten to kill her, give Boyd a choice between Scott and his sister. Maybe they do the same thing they did to Hayden, and Theo spins it just right. Maybe the DD's mess with Boyd's reality, and he doesn't even know it's Scott he's attacking. Maybe Alicia's ultimately the one who stops Boyd from killing Scott. Alternatively, Kali and the twins still kill Boyd, but When the Dread Doctors make their way to Beacon Hills, Alicia convinces them to resurrect him as a chimera (he hasn't been dead long. I'm sure they could do it--they've got plenty of alpha werewolf-lion goo). Things go very differently.

📓 #2 Hmm...this second one isn’t actually a fic idea, but a short essay and/or gif set idea that haunts me on a regular basis. This past semester I read Albert Camus’ “The Myth of Sisyphus” and parts of his accompanying essays on absurdity, and ever since I’ve been obsessed with the idea of a set paralleling the myth of Sisyphus with Scott. I’ve seen many sets do so with Scott and Atlas, but never one with Scott and Sisyphus. Given the little knowledge I have of Sisyphus’ actual story, I don’t think he and Scott line up as people. But I do think several of the ideas presented by Camus about Sisyphus’ punishment could work really well for Scott.

I need to re-read the text, but generally speaking I’d use pieces of it to show how Scott’s story is similar and follow his transition from absurdity and torment to contentment in spite of it.

I just think the absurd fits well into the context of the supernatural world especially. Scott’s struggles with suicidal ideology throughout the series also come immediately to mind--Scott keeps pushing forward and fighting to protect others, but also seems to no longer see the point in living. I think that Scott’s feelings about becoming a werewolf and longing for his human life parallel Sisyphus’ longing for life on Earth as he suffers his punishment. Sisyphus and Scott both cheat the permanence of death, they both rebel against the ones with power over their lives, they both keep pushing forward no matter how futile the practice. I don’t know, this is still a vague and not well formulated description. I just have so many ideas about it all I haven’t been able to narrow down specifics. There are numerous potential scenes that could be used for a visual representation of this, and a lot of pieces to draw connections in general!

The only thing I know for sure visually is the gif set would end with smiles! :) After all “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

(Send me a 📓 for fic ideas I daydream about!)

[appleseverywhere]

Winter deserved to be the next Winter Maiden

Okay, so I just finished rewatching V7 since V8 announcement is in a few days and I noticed something.

Personally, I’m one of those people that was hoping Winter would become the next Winter maiden. Obviously, that didn’t happen and I was extremely disappointed. 

Now I completely understand why CRWBY would decide that the powers go to Penny (lest they’d want to complete her real girl arc) and I’ve seen a lot of people defended that Penny deserved to be the maiden but I just need to point out that this isn’t exactly the case. People were also saying that Winter couldn’t be the maiden because she didn’t understand her emotions or couldn’t even be understanding of the emotions of others, and because she was a military officer who seemed to always “follow orders”. 

So why should Winter have became the next maiden?

Winter is actually one of the most rational characters in this volume. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. She understood that with General Ironwood keeping secrets, that yes, it would leave everyone skeptic and doubtful of his capabilities, which was why she had told Weiss the truth that she would become the next Winter maiden when he offered it to her. 

She understood the pressure that the general had to make at this time, that everything he was doing was to protect Atlas in ways he thought was right. In the real world, no one will ever really agree with you that everything you say is right. She points this out flawlessly, even expressing her doubts several times in the volume (I’ll get to this in a bit).

She knows that the way Atlas was handling everything wasn’t perfect, but it was a reasonable. It’s absolutely true that YOU CAN’T SAVE EVERYONE, but you can save who you can. She understood the importance of the relics and the maidens, that if it fell into Salem’s hands, then the world would surely crumble. 

She thought differently from team RWBY, and honestly, it was so disappointing that just because she did, she suddenly couldn’t be the maiden. In reality, not everyone will look at the world the same way as you do. She was someone who understood BOTH what the military was doing and what team RWBY wanted to happen. She agreed with both, but had to weigh out which would be the more logical decision. 

She understands the emotions she keeps behind her facade. A lot of people were saying that it wasn’t right for her to be the maiden because she disregarded her emotions as well as others. If you were to think about it, it’s because as an officer, you cannot let your emotions get the better of you when put under stress or pressure. Otherwise, you’re prone to make mistakes. She had to remain calm and understanding of everything that was going on, and she analyzed and weighed down everything in front of her so she could make out the situation and what to do. 

She wasn’t always someone who ignored her emotions. This was clear when (1) the teams along with Weiss stole an Atlas airship, (2) the dinner where she burst in front of Jacques, (3) admitting to Penny that she should have stayed in line instead of telling her father off, (4) telling Penny that she agreed with her that they shouldn’t abandon Mantle, and (5) telling Penny that WRESTLING WITH EMOTIONS is what makes them human.

While preparing Fria in the Aura transfer chamber, Winter and Penny’s entire exchange shows us that even she knew that emotions are something that should be accounted for when making a decision.

“I hope it will be painless for her.” “You said that your personal feelings do not matter.” “They won’t change my actions, what I’m committed to.”  ..... “But yes, Penny. We must still acknowledge our personal feelings. Wrestle with them. It ensures us that we’re on the right path. It’s what makes us human.”

Honestly, the things Winter says in this exchange were absolutely spot on. She understood the duty she had, but also understood that her emotions were an important factor when it came to making important decisions. “It’s what makes us human.” She herself was honestly more human in this scene than Penny, who didn’t completely understand what it meant to weigh actions and their consequences.

Winter understood exactly what it meant to feel everything that everyone was feeling. Being a soldier, she understood that emotions are kept in check so that it wouldn’t result in rash actions. She understood that emotions held significance when coming to decision, but should not be controlled by it, which was what was happening with team RWBY. What was frustrating about all of this was that it was made to look like just because Winter had different views from team RWBY, suddenly she can’t be the maiden because it would go against what they stand for, when in fact, she was making so much sense.

She had doubts. I honestly don’t know how people could say that Winter was this tool that Ironwood groomed to be the maiden, that she simply followed orders without question, when in fact, SHE WAS THE ONLY SOLDIER WHO QUESTIONED IRONWOOD.

She questioned everything from the start. She told Weiss that she’s known about everything since the fall of Beacon, and she was given a choice. She didn’t accept the idea just like any of the ace ops might have if it was given to them. Like she said, it bothered her at first. That meant she didn’t accept it immediately. Instead, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she could do some real good for Atlas and Remnant instead of simply following the orders of her higher ups (I’ll get to this in the next point). 

When V7 occurred, she explained to Weiss and everyone who questioned the military why they were doing what they did. She knew it wasn’t perfect but also knew that their heart was in the right place. During her conversation post-training with Weiss, you could tell by her expression that even she had doubts about the general’s decisions, but told her he wasn’t keeping secrets from her, unveiling that she was chosen to be the next maiden. 

When she was given the order to retrieve the maiden powers, she questioned everything in between. It was actually obvious that even Winter knew that the General’s decision in leaving Mantle to perish was not sitting well with her. Penny says “I do not see what is good about any of this”, to which Winter replies “On that we can agree on.” She understood the consequences of their actions but also knew what could happen if they continued with it. 

She fought for it the most. Despite being given the chance and eventually groomed to become the next maiden, she made it clear during her conversation with Weiss that she was CHOOSING her destiny, that she was making it her own. She understood what having this responsibility meant and dedicated her life for it, nearly dying just to make sure it was kept from Cinder. 

During their sky battle with Cinder, she had even expected to die as she fell from the sky since she knew Penny had to get to Fria with Cinder after her, saying that her life didn’t matter, knowing that the maiden was more important. The moment she saw that Fria was dying in Penny’s arms, she still made it a point to fight off Cinder EVEN WITHOUT HER AURA to protect her. She likely knew at that moment she would die but fought her anyway. She would give her life to keep the powers away from the enemy’s hands. 

This was frustrating because Penny knew that it was meant to go to Winter, that she had an intact aura, and during the time that Cinder was screaming, she could have called Winter to Fria and battled Cinder herself. But she didn’t. By calling to Winter at the time, it would have saved her the severe injuries Cinder inflicted, and maybe would have an actual shot at bringing her down and not escaping like she did.

From V3 to V7, we can assume that the timeline went on for 2 years. She was given this responsibility and devoted herself to it for 2 years. She worked so hard to make sure that this destiny wasn’t something that people would say was given to her, instead, something she chose for herself and carved to make it something that was hers, and hers alone. Imagine the frustration of committing your life to a mission for this span of time, only for it to be taken from you in a matter of minutes. I can’t even imagine what it must have felt like for her to have something that precious taken from you. It basically makes her question her identity, her mission, and her place in life. 

She actually deserved to be the maiden more than anyone else in the series. It’s not because of her very obvious name or anything like that, but because she made the most sense, she worked the hardest for it, and she understood both sides of the story the most.

***

So these are some of the main points why I think Winter should have been the Winter maiden. Thought I might point these out before V8 comes out soon. 

Thank you for reading! I’m really psyched to see Winter again and I truly hope she’ll be okay this volume. (KEEP THIS QUEEN SAFE PLS)

Please, Volume 8. Don’t brush Winter off just like that. SHE DESERVED BETTER.

[itsclydebitches]

[1] Hi! I hope you don't mind, but can I ask a sorta uncomfortable question? I wanna ship cloqwork because I like their character dynamic, but at the same time I get uncomfortable because when Qrow enrolled at Beacon (at "the right age," as specified by Raven) he would've been 17 - legally not an adult. Ozpin would've had a disproportionate amount of power over him, both as a legal adult and as his teacher.

Hi, Anon!

I apologize in advance that this response is probably going to be all over the place. I’ve got a lot of thoughts about this and very little ability right now to put them into a cohesive order. So we’re just chucking it all out lol.

First, there’s absolutely no need to apologize for being on anon. That’s what it’s there for! I think tumblr has developed a view of the anonymous option that, on the whole, isn’t particularly useful. In our efforts to call out those who are sending flames/hate under the comfort of anonymity (which you obviously are not), there’s no need for anyone to “prove” themselves by going off of it. You’re using anon because you (justifiably) fear how the fandom might react to these questions. I often use anon because I abandoned my “main” account years ago and dislike sending messages from it. There’s a huge range of reasons why someone might want to be on anon and ultimately it doesn’t matter why we use the tool that’s been provided to us. It’s there, so never feel bad about going anon for any reason :)

Onto the ozqrow! Or yes, onto the cloqwork. I learned “ozqrow” first so it’s pretty embedded in my head, but I agree that “cloqwork” is the more sophisticated of the two ;) Anyway, yes. There are potentially ways that we can view the relationship as unhealthy… with the key word there being potentially. AKA, as headcanons. No, Qrow wouldn’t have been an adult when he entered Beacon, but who’s to say a relationship began then? Some fans might like to imagine that despite the real world issues attached. Others—like you and me—would not. The important thing is that we both have the space to achieve whatever interpretation of the relationship we please. Far as I can tell, Qrow is 37 at the youngest. Four years at Beacon (17-20), 15 years after Summer’s death (35), and then roughly 2 years of in-canon present time (37). Realistically, he’s probably older than that. Based on the relationship dynamics it seems that Tai didn’t date Summer until he broke up with Raven and given Yang’s age compared to Ruby’s, that adds two years. So Qrow is probably around 39. Even that’s assuming that Raven had Yang right after Beacon. If she didn’t we could push the timeline another year or two, putting Qrow in his early 40’s. I lay all this out to demonstrate that… that’s a lot of time. How old “should” Qrow be before he enters a relationship with someone? Obviously that answer differs from individual to individual, but let’s say for the sake of argument that he should be at least 25. That puts him 5 years out of Beacon, potentially older than when Raven had Yang, and roughly 6 years older than most of our main ships right now (Blake/Yang, Jaune/Pyrrha, Ren/Nora etc.) where fans argue very strongly that at 19 they’re already adults and are able to make informed decisions, be it about relationships or world-shattering secrets. So we’re already holding Qrow to stricter standards than other characters and that still leaves roughly 15 years for him and Ozpin to start something, all of which is time that takes place outside of the Teacher/Student dynamic. It’s a choice to prioritize “But he was his headmaster for 4 years” over “But they were equals for 2 decades.”

Now granted, there’s more to this relationship than just Qrow’s own age. I’ve also seen people bring up the age gap and, more recently, Ozpin’s “manipulation” of Qrow. In regards to the former, we simply have to acknowledge that Ozpin is screwed in that regard. Everyone is younger than him. Almost the entire cast. At some point nearly everyone we meet will have, at some point, been a child while Ozpin is an adult simply by virtue of Ozpin being a reincarnating wizard who has already lived at least a thousand years. The only exceptions to this are Salem, the Gods, or Jinn, all of which are more “problematic” partners to my mind. Which again, isn’t to say no one can ship them together, just that it seems ridiculous to me that—if we’re really going to “justify” an in-canon relationship—we’d prioritize “Salem and Ozpin are the same age that’s so much healthier!” over “Salem abused Ozpin, killed their kids, and has hunted him for years on end. That’s... kind of not great!” It’s a matter of what parts of each relationship we choose to emphasize. And ozqrow is far from the only ship to grapple with this. In the witcher fandom I adore both Geralt/Jaskier and Geralt/Regis. Both of those ships have “issues” in regards to age. Is Jaskier not allowed to be with Geralt because he’s in his 30s and Geralt is in his 80s? Is Geralt not allowed to be with Regis because he’s in his 80s and Regis is in his 400s? When we talk about fantasy series we’re talking about species/races/abilities that are, obviously, fantastic. They don’t exist. Which means that real world concerns can’t perfectly map onto these scenarios. The question is not “Is a 1,000 year age gap problematic?” but rather “Are these both consenting adults who are in a position to make their own informed, romantic decisions?” To which we answer for ozqrow: yes. Unless we specifically imagine that the relationship began when Qrow was just a student but again, that’s purely headcanon. Emphasizing that non-canonical imagining of how a relationship might have started over the canonical years of working together as equal peers makes no more sense than going, “Yeah but there was a time when Regis was an adult and Geralt was just a kid, so if they’d met then it would have been super unhealthy so you shouldn’t ship them :/” They didn’t meet when Geralt was a kid. In the same way, Ozpin and Qrow didn’t start a relationship when Qrow was a kid for the simple reason that they have no canonical romance at all. That puts the power entirely in the viewers’ hands to imagine when/how such a relationship occurs. 

Which leaves us with second issue mentioned: power dynamics and Ozpin’s “manipulation.” Take everything said above and apply it to this point too. That power dynamic only exists if we imagine a relationship while they’re headmaster and student. Which you can! Plenty of people want to write/read about such “problematic” stuff. That’s partly what fandom is for. But again, if that’s not your cup of tea there’s no reason to prioritize those 4 years over the 20 years we get later. I have heard some people say that the relationship is indefinitely imbalanced because of Ozpin’s age/power/leadership/whatever but… that simply makes no sense to me. Or rather, it seems hypocritical. Does that mean it’s “problematic” for Weiss to be with Ruby? After all, Ruby is the leader of their team and calls all the shots. What if Weiss feels like she can’t say no to her?? It’s terribly unhealthy. Does that mean Weiss can’t be with Blake? She was racist, after all, and comes from such a place of privilege. I’m not sure Blake is educated enough to hold her own with Weiss. Does this mean Blake can’t be with Yang? Blake comes from a very rich and powerful family whereas Yang is just a country girl… what if Blake uses that power against her somehow? Does that mean that Nora can’t be with Ruby? Or again, Weiss with Ruby? I mean, Nora is homeless and Weiss has been cut off from the Schnee line, so they might stay in a relationship purely out of fear of being abandoned--super unhealthy. These are all revised versions of things I’ve heard applied to ozqrow: Qrow shouldn’t be with Ozpin because Ozpin is his leader (Ruby/Weiss), because Qrow grew up in an “uneducated” tribe whereas Ozpin is clearly so sophisticated (Blake/Weiss), because Ozpin has power and connections that Qrow could never match (Blake/Yang), because Ozpin is tied to the life Qrow has built and breaking up supposedly threatens that. Which means he can’t ever break up. Which means Qrow is trapped. Which means it’s unhealthy (Nora/Ruby or Ruby/Weiss). They’re all warped, assumption based arguments that are only taken seriously when they’re applied to a ship that people are already inclined to dislike. The takeaway is that every relationship has power dynamics and every relationship has the potential to be “problematic.” Literally everyone. Give me any two people and I can spin some yarn about how one holds too much power over the other for the relationship to be healthy. Which isn’t to say that real power dynamics don’t exist that should be avoided (like a teacher/student relationship as you point out), only that fans are inclined to extend that past the point of logic in an effort demonize ships they don’t like. Someone having trauma in their past (which, again, is everyone at this point in the series) is not the same “power dynamic” as an adult grooming a child (which, again again, Ozpin didn’t do). So when we’re left with the acknowledgement that any relationship has the potential to be unhealthy, we have to ask… is it? And the answer is no. As you say, “We all know that canonically Ozpin ISN’T that kind of person.” That’s what trumps every headcanon and negative assumption. I could headcanon/assume that a Weiss/Blake relationship would be horrific because Weiss would be a racist ass to Blake and Blake would only stay with her because she’s determined not to “run away” from something again… but we don’t see evidence for that on screen and it literally never happens. In the same way, some fans like to headcannon/assume that a Qrow/Ozpin relationship would be horrific because Ozpin would use his power over Qrow in various ways… but we don’t see evidence for that on screen and it literally doesn’t happen. 

If anything, post-Volume 6 I’d say there’s more of a potential problem with Qrow being with Ozpin. Meaning yes, as you point out Qrow has a lot of stuff in his past that makes him potentially vulnerable—toxic family environment, drinking problem, etc.—but we learn irrevocably in Volume 6 that so does Ozpin. He was manipulated by the Gods into accepting this “impossible” task. He was in an abusive relationship with Salem and, quite literally, didn’t survive it. He’s lived a thousand years of unimaginable trauma. He arguably was also an alcoholic at one point given the drinking we saw in Jinn’s flashback. He’s been betrayed time and time again by his allies… of which Qrow is a part. Arguably Ozpin has even more vulnerabilities than Qrow but both characters are in a position to hurt one another with those vulnerabilities: Ozpin could play on Qrow’s desire for family and Qrow could play on Ozpin’s need for support. That “could” is, again, important because it’s mostly headcanon speculation that chooses to see the relationship as inevitably negative… with the exception that canonically Qrow is the only one who we see using these vulnerabilities against Ozpin. The fandom likes to assume that Ozpin “manipulated” Qrow all these years but we simply never see that happening. In true RWBY fashion, RT gave Qrow a very damning sounding line—I gave up my life for you—and then let the fandom assume really negative connotations. In reality though what that line translated to was, “You trusted me despite the fact that I entered your school to learn how to kill you and your allies, then taught me how to be a better person and gave me a purpose in life: to help others, even if I’ve now learned I can’t fix it all in one lifetime.” Like yeah, what kind of horrible “manipulation”?? Ozpin’s supposed power over Qrow has only helped and benefited Qrow, despite how Volume 6 tried to paint that relationship as suddenly negative. What is said doesn’t align with what we’ve seen. In contrast, we do see Qrow using Ozpin’s vulnerabilities against him. He does betray him. He does punch him into a tree. He does help perpetuate those same lies to Ironwood. He does absolve Ruby without offering the same to Ozpin. He does then plant the seed—with absolutely no evidence—that he had a hand in Summer’s death. To be frank, Qrow has treated Ozpin like shit lately and it’s one of the (many) reasons why I hate Volume 6 and 7. Ozpin is coded as the perpetrator, but we never see him taking advantage of Qrow. Meanwhile, Qrow is coded as the victim, but we do see him taking advantage of Ozpin’s vulnerability. One character has helped the other flourish, the other has abandoned him in his greatest time of need. Right now I’d argue that the in-canon ship potential is “problematic” due to Qrow… but that doesn’t mean any of that has to impact fandom shipping. For me personally, I prefer to keep to Volume 1-5 material or AUs up until Qrow (hopefully) apologizes for his actions. Then I might feel inclined to write canon-based ozqrow content for Volume 8, or whenever we re-establish that respect (with AU elements involving giving Ozpin his own body. The Oscar situation is a whole other thing I’m not going to delve into here. Suffice to say, I’m considering Qrow and Ozpin as separate people right now). But even if they never make up, even if Qrow, or Ozpin, or both of them end up being completely toxic for one another, that doesn’t stop anyone from imagining something better for them in fandom. Fandom is transformative for a reason.

All of which isn’t to say that people have to like the ship (obviously) only that in the same vein it means that no one has to justify liking the ship either. Again, for me personally, I usually need some in-canon, healthy dynamic to work with in order to enjoy a ship. It’s why I love ozqrow because we did see that for 5 volumes and may indeed see it again. In contrast, it’s why I don’t love pairings like Yen/Geralt or Bakugo/Izuku because I don’t feel like I have a healthy foundation to work from and, for me, a healthy foundation is usually necessary (with some exceptions like my childhood love of Erik/Christine). But all those are preferences. They don’t—and shouldn’t—dictate anyone else’s enjoyment. Which is the problem when people don’t just assume that ozqrow is inherently unhealthy (which I hope I’ve somewhat helped to disprove here) but likewise assume that that’s necessary for anyone else to ship them. For you that potential coding of teacher/student and power dynamics might outweigh otherwise liking their dynamic and that’s fine! That’s a preference! But a preference doesn’t give anyone the right to throw shade at others for enjoying something different. 

Which finally brings me back to the hypocrisy in all this. Ozqrow (and Blake/Yang) are the only ships I’ve come across in this fandom where the fans have to continually “prove” why their ships are valid. Not as potentially canonical relationships, but just as fandom-based ships. Just as fictional preferences we enjoy as a hobby. It says something about the fandom’s bias that we can watch Ilia, on screen, be one of the bad guys, kidnap Blake, try to murder her parents, try to ship her off to her abuser… and despite all this the fandom went, “Oh yeah. I could see them together.” But Ozpin and Qrow, who have supported one another for the vast majority of the series, suddenly need to provide receipts for how healthy their relationship is and if you don’t do a good enough job proving that, it’s cancelled. That’s messed up. None of these ships are “bad.” Ilia/Blake shippers should go wild with that potential! It’s just an issue of comparison and applying different, rigged standards to certain ships. This is a fandom where people ship the heroes with the likes of Cinder, Roman, Raven, Ilia, Salem, Tyrian… tons of killers and would-be killers, characters who have done objectively horrifying things. But it’s when two loving adult men might get together that it’s suddenly too “problematic”? That says more about that bias than it does the ship. For you, anon, if I’ve failed to alleviate those concerns and that coding means ozqrow isn’t really your thing? Great! You can drop the ship, involve yourself only in AUs, or anything in between. That’s how fandom should work. The problem lies not in asking polite questions about how we might interpret a relationship in canon (which as said in the original reblog I greatly enjoy doing!) but rather in some fans’ tendency to demand a moral standard from a ship that none other is held to and then when fans inevitably fail to meet that standard, they’re criticized for daring to like the ship in the first place. Ultimately whether you end up shipping/liking ozqrow is up to you—which is precisely where the power should be. In your hands, not the hands of someone on tumblr trying to make others feel guilty. 

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

RWBY V07E03 - Ace Operatives

I think this episode is going to be about two things: new outfits and a mission with the ace ops. I really want to find out how well RWBY is going to handle having 5 new characters around plus everyone else so let's do this!

Huh, I'd have thought they'd change their outfits before a mission since Ironwood wanted them to upgrade. Wouldn't it make sense to have the better equipment before going on a mission?

Interesting that Qrow is not on the list of Active Huntsmen (congrats everyone else, you're official huntsmen and huntresses now!) Oscar is also absent but I guess he's being held back because he's Ozpin.

How long of a timeskip was this?

Ooh, now it all makes sense. I was a bit confused about the timeline but mission briefing -> upgrades -> first shot of ships flying around fits more than what I was thinking.

Ooh, a promise for even more enhancements!

I don't remember anything too different about Jaune's new outfit that would make him look so forlorn. But I guess any kind of change makes him move further and further away from the Jaune that Pyrrha knew.

The closest Blake has ever been to making a :3 face.

Are they going to talk about Ruby's decision?

I can imagine Pietro holding his face wondering why Blake and Yang requested so many zippers.

It's interesting how Blake almost reads like a completely different character while with Weiss she's still just Weiss but cooler. The difference that a haircut makes.

Or maybe they changed her facial features a bit?

I'm feeling weirdly proud of Jaune having a proper landing strategy. More than the hair and the "complete" armor, I think that's the most noticeable sign of how much he has grown.

Qrow went from pirate to... fancy pirate.

This is the weirdest thing to geek about but I love that Weiss's aura meter is slightly lower than the rest. She used her summons!

I was going to write a bad joke about them being "totally straight and _just_ friends" but screw that, they are gay and cute and I love them.

Weiss is very blush-y this season but I can't tell if it's because of the cold or if it's just more noticeable because she's the one with the lightest skin.

So, which kingdom uses kilograms and which one uses pounds?

Ruby finally realizing that wearing a skirt in the frozen tundra probably isn't be the best of ideas.

Yay, they are addressing it.

I'm glad they are actually talking about it. Did they wait to be outside of Atlas on purpose or is it just a coincidence?

I still can't tell what the show is trying to say about Ozpin. "Honesty is always the best policy" would have worked during the first seasons but the Fall of Beacon changed things enough that being irresponsible with what and how you say things would be naive.

I just can't decide if the show is going to prove Ruby right and Ironwood will turn out to be hiding his worst tendencies from them or wrong, with Ironwood feeling betrayed and maybe causing him to go off the deep end.

Proving her right would redeem Ozpin. Proving her wrong would maybe cause Ozpin to reappear after finally realizing his way of doing things only made things worse.

The way the show is framing the situation, with Ruby clearly feeling uncomfortable, avoiding the question, Yang being worried about it (even though she has always been Ruby's unconditional support), the fact that Ruby is a "honest soul" and this goes against that, makes me think it's going towards the "Ruby is making a mistake" side but who knows. Maybe I'm underestimating the show by thinking there's only two clear choices and it'll do something unexpected and more realistic.

Interesting that Qrow's bad luck manifested in him instead of on Clover. Is Clover's semblance that good of a counter to Qrow's?

I always knew Ren wasn't to be trusted. Only someone evil would make Nora sad. Forget about Watts and Tyrian, I'd watch out for Ren in the future.

I think this the dumbest Jaune has ever been.

Her ears moved! Having someone with super hearing in your team seems like a great idea.

Oh. I thought she heard the Geist. Has she been here before in a White Fang mission?

Nope, not that. Was this explosion where Ilia's parents died?

The use of depth of field during a battle solves all my issues with the way they handle having too many fighters in the same shot. It's just blurry enough to hide the simpler animation the fighters in the background have but clear enough to know who's fighting.

So, what's the name of this ship?

Whenever there's someone "new" that's acting cool I wonder if they are just being set up as awesome to be defeated later on to show how powerful the enemy is. CFVY's introduction in Volume 2 and later defeat in V3 was almost 99% that so I'm hoping this is not a repeat.

I'd have thought that dividing her body to go past obstacles was clue enough for Ruby to maybe start thinking that "go fast" wasn't exactly what her semblance does.

I can't believe they relegated the best part of the episode to the background of a scene.

I commented before (maybe on the Discord?) that I thought Tyrian was trying to stir up the population of Mantle instead of specifically trying to sabotage Hill and I think this supports that idea. It's just the best way to make the population of Mantle feel threatened since it looks like Atlas is trying to silence the opposition by killing journalists and vocal "civilian" supporters, causing even more civil unrest.

It may even improve Hill's chances of winning the election as a response.

I think this was a necessary episode but I'm not a big fan of it. By now it's probably no secret that I can take or leave the fight scenes and the second half's focus in showing off the upgrades and how cool the Ace Ops are made my eyes glaze over a bit. It did have some strong character moments though!

And the outfits are finally here! The more I look at them, the more I like them. It may be just in my head but I feel the character themselves look slightly different too. Blake's head is slightly less... Blake-y (she always looked weird in screenshots in the past) for example. Weiss looks similar but her expressions are more animated. Maybe I'm just imagining things. But the outfits are great in movement and a straight up upgrade for everyone except for maaaybe Jaune's hair which I still can't get used to.

Jaune's growth being so clearly shown in his landing was great, and his armor finally looking "complete" makes it even more obvious that this is not the Jaune that cheated his way in to Beacon. Or rather, he still is but he is so much more.

Blake and Yang's moment was incredibly cute. LOL at anyone who still thinks that they are just totally platonic and straight friends who awkwardly flirt with each other. (I just remembered that a comment about a haircut was one of the biggest clues about what was really going on between two characters in another show I don't want to spoil by accident.)

Weiss is carrying around a lot of guilt which I'm sure will come up later in the season. But, as Marrow said, every human is complicit in the oppression of the faunus, and while Weiss was close to the one of the main direct sources, it's not like she could have solved anything on her own.

Aaand, that's the first half. The second half is mostly the fight which, while it wasn't very interesting for me, it was very well animated and it did do a great job showing not only how cool the Ace Ops are, but also their personality. Pretty notable considering it's a team of five in an episode with eight other characters running around with their own little moments.

Qrow's reaction to Clover is intriguing. There's no way to tell what he's really thinking, the emotions shown across his face are just subtle enough that they could support any theory. Does he resent Clover's "luck"?

In any case the fact that they are _so_ cool and friendly makes me suspect something bad is going to happen. Because nothing good lasts.

Most of the pieces in the OP have already appeared, the only one left is Robyn Hill. Is the fourth episode going to be her premiere? I can't wait. Until next time!

Note from the future: While reading this again before posting I realize it sounds maybe too negative. The dangers of liveblogging while tired instead of waiting a couple of days like I did with Gravity Falls. * sigh *

[cnroth]

The Misrepresentation of Mental Disability in Star Trek: Discovery

Season two of Star Trek: Discovery has teased us for half a season with Spock having vague mental health issues and Starfleet being a big dick about his experience. In episode 8, “If Memory Serves,” we finally get an explanation for Spock’s strange behavior and see what happened when he escaped the psychiatric hospital. It is... infuriating.

The set up was bad enough, with its dangerous mentally ill person and he can’t really be mentally ill because he’s a nice person, with the gross violations of Spock’s rights and Amanda’s dreadful comment about how “‘emotional disturbance’ is code for ‘psychosis.’” It’s honestly a clusterfuck of misused terminology and harmful tropes. With episode 8 we’ve added the mental illness fake-out and when modern medicine fails try magic (telepathy), as well as another iteration of the INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS myth that psychiatric hospitals are scary places that might lock you up against your will and threaten your safety.

I can’t help but think back to the season one arc of the the only major character who had a psychiatric diagnosis last season... who also turned out to be a mental illness fake-out and was insta-cured by sci-fi magic. Looking back at this parallel, we see that the dreadful bait-and-switch representation of mental illness in season two was also used in season one, indicating that Star Trek: Discovery is not quite as progressive and inclusive as it purports itself to be.

So let’s talk about Tyler’s PTSD.

The misrepresentation of Tyler’s symptoms

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5), in order to receive a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder a person must experience a traumatic event that meets specific criteria (such as a life-threatening event or witnessing violence). Then, for AT LEAST A MONTH after the event, someone must experience symptoms from ALL FOUR of the following categories:

Intrusion (e.g. flashbacks or nightmares)

Avoidance (staying away from things that remind the person of the event, avoiding thoughts or feelings related to event)

Arousal and reactivity (hyper aware of surroundings, exaggerated startle response, explosive unprovoked outbursts of anger, feeling on edge, sleep disturbance)

Mood and cognition (e.g. beliefs that the trauma was one’s own fault or that they’ll never be safe again, memory disruption, loss of interest in activities or ability to feel pleasure).

Although it’s clear Tyler and Voq experienced multiple traumatic events, and we see Tyler having intrusive flashbacks and nightmares—although they were mostly used as a plot device to conveniently convey backstory and foreshadow a major plot twist—we didn’t see clear examples of all four symptom groupings. Moreover, the timeline for his symptoms isn’t clear, but if we start the clock at his escape from the prison ship, I have doubts that it was a month. (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

Now, I realize that no one directly gave Tyler the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was Admiral Cornwell who recognized his symptoms as trauma-based and said she had experience treating PTSD from her former medical practice, and she used her training to help talk Tyler through his reaction to seeing L’Rell. Still, viewers were expected to buy into this explanation so that the reveal of Tyler as Voq would be a surprise.

In short, they indicated that Tyler had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but they didn’t seem to do much research into what the symptoms or criteria for that disorder are. They misused terminology and exploited Tyler’s suffering for the sake of the plot. Then, they used a bait-and-switch tactic to reveal that he didn’t actually have a real-world psychiatric disorder after all, but just some fantastical sleeper agent side effects. They sold viewers on an inaccurate but compassionate representation of mental illness, then ripped that representation away from us and laughed about it all the way to the bank.

The problematic way Starfleet (and the show) handles officers with mental disorders

Tyler is suffering in season one. Clearly, he wants help, but he’s afraid that if he talks to a doctor he’ll be relieved of duty. He confides somewhat in Michael, but swears to her that he’ll get help if it becomes too much for him to handle. We later follow him on a mission to retrieve a data core with a worker bee, where seeing Klingon bodies triggers a flashback and he almost blows the mission. We, the audience, are supposed to take this as a sign that something is very wrong with Tyler and he isn’t fit for duty.

But here’s the thing: The way this story is told is discriminatory and harmful. If Starfleet were as compassionate and utopian as we’re supposed to believe, then they wouldn’t take away the thing that helps Tyler cope and stay active. Working is good for him; taking him off duty—particularly on a ship that for some stupid reason doesn’t have even one mental health professional on staff—would mean... what? What would he do to fill his time? When someone is suffering from trauma symptoms, too much spare time can be counterproductive. It can in fact be very triggering, opening up mental space for the trauma symptoms to fill. It would likely also add to Tyler’s sense of being an outsider on Discovery. His comrades are all working, but he is not.

Tyler doesn’t need to be relieved of duty. What he needs is for his commanding officer to accommodate his disability.

Out of universe, this is important because PTSD is very stigmatized in the US military, and many people fear losing security clearances or even being discharged because of such a diagnosis. The truth is that the stigma of diagnosis is much more dangerous than the diagnosis itself. Avoiding help can lead to worsening of symptoms and unexplained behaviors (such as snapping at a at a superior or avoiding certain triggering situations) that could have been excused and perhaps accommodated by having a diagnosis on record. Tyler’s situation has real world implications, and the way the show undercuts him over and over is downright harmful to real people living with this condition.

Let’s look at his mission to retrieve the data core. Now, there was really no good in-universe reason for him to be on that worker bee. He was a security officer, not a technician. Why send him instead of, say, Owosekun? The answer is that the plot demanded it. The mission was an excuse for Tyler to have another flashback, and the viewers were supposed to believe that he was messed up and unfit for duty.

But let’s say he was the ideal person for that mission. If Tyler had been receiving treatment, his doctor could write up a list of special needs he has and some accommodations Lorca could make to help him. Lorca would be legally required to fulfill those accommodations as best he could. It is not Tyler’s responsibility to bear all the weight and consequences of his disability; as the ones with more power and privilege, it is Starfleet’s job to accommodate him. So, maybe one of those accommodations could be that he doesn’t go on missions alone. If something triggers him, another officer is there to provide support.

How hard would that be to do? Answer: it’s not. Not at all. Accommodations are usually not hard to provide, but refusing to make accommodations is ableist. Unfortunately, Starfleet—the beacon of hope and progressiveness in science fiction—is unwilling to make accommodations for Ash Tyler and other personnel suffering from PTSD. They’d rather pull them from duty and put them out of sight so they won’t inconvenience anyone.

Instead of giving viewers an example of how the crew came together to support Tyler as a person suffering from trauma-based symptoms, the writers chose to put the burden of Tyler’s suffering squarely on his shoulders. With this choice, they heavily implied that people with PTSD are not capable of contributing to Starfleet and must be set aside until they’re “better.” THIS IS HARMFUL REPRESENTATION.

As someone who has personally experienced multiple mental disabilities, two of which are chronic and a third of which is trauma-based, it makes me wonder... would I have a place in Starfleet? Based on what I’ve seen in Star Trek: Discovery, my answer is no. I am not welcome to contribute to their so-called utopia.

Not at all.

If you want to support positive representations of mental disability in Star Trek, please tell them. Share this blog post on Twitter and tag their official accounts, or just tweet them your own thoughts about how their portrayals of psychiatric symptoms and healthcare are hurtful to you or your loved ones. If enough fans give them constructive feedback about this issue, they’ll listen. Thank you. Good health and stay safe.

[solar-pxwered]

continued from here || @midncghtxcat

          The way she was acting immediately alerted him, something was different about her, a strange sort of deliberateness to her movements from the way she walked across the room and the way she bent to pick up the discarded book and the way her eyes locked on his as she strode back over, to the way her tone sounded. She sounded like she was scolding him, which made sense since he’d thrown a book which he knew was completely unacceptable to do in front of Blake Belladonna, but there was also something...playful in her voice?

         It all made sense when she started to get close enough to invade his personal space and she made that little comment of hers. His eyes widened a bit in surprise, but his mouth curled slightly in the corners into a hopeful little smile, his heartbeat speeding up slightly at the idea of exactly how he would LIKE to practice.

          “Yeah, you’re right,” he swallowed the little crack in his voice, “I always learned better by doing, reading’s never been my strong point.”

[chasholidays]

Time travel bellarke. For some reason one or both travel to the past and it was not good. Or anything you want but with timetravel

I couldn’t come up with a historical era for them to go to, so I just made this a Star Trek AU with them coming back to now oops

If and when Bellamy gets back to his own time, he’s going to petition Starfleet to add some mandatory classes on what to do if you’re thrown back in time and/or into a parallel universe, because he thinks generic guidelines and word-of-mouth tips just aren’t cutting it. They need to stop acting like this doesn’t happen all the fucking time.

“At least we’re on Earth,” says Clarke, looking around with a frown.

“I don’t know, Vulcan might be better. If we told Vulcans we were time travelers from the future, they’d probably roll with it and help. This doesn’t look like an advanced enough Earth to give us any help.”

“I think the Prime Directive forbids talking about being a time traveler.”

“Yeah, and we never ignore the Prime Directive.”

Clarke huffs a laugh, and he smiles too. He wouldn’t admit it without some serious interrogation, but Clarke is probably his first choice for a companion in any tight spot. She’s smart and capable and practical, idealistic without being stupid. Which is kind of a problem with Starfleet, in his experience.

“Never,” she agrees, and when the computer finishes its analysis with a ping, she’s the one to go check it. “You want the bad news?”

“No, I like going into potentially hostile situations blind.”

“It could be worse. Early twenty-first century. Pollution levels are near critical, so I’d say between 2015 and 2020.”

“Fuck, we probably landed in the Trump administration,” he says, rubbing his face. “Just our fucking luck.”

“We just need to survive long enough to repair the ship.”

“Yeah, because if there’s one thing we’re great at, it’s ship repairs.”

“You know what doesn’t help? This shit,” says Clarke, mild, but with just enough of an edge to snap him out of it.

“You’re the optimist here,” he says. “But I’ll go with it. So—what’s the plan?”

She looks around the ship, thoughtful. “First step is figuring out if the replicators work and if we have anything we can sell without compromising the timeline.”

It’s as good a place to start as any.

“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

*

The replicator works long enough to make them some period-appropriate clothing and breakfast, but given the overall shaky state of the ship’s systems, they don’t want to make anything they don’t have to. They have better things to do with their power; they’re going to have to try to get by on their own.

Unfortunately, they’ve landed smack in the middle of late capitalism with no identification papers, in a country that thinks poverty should be a death sentence.

So that’s good.

And then, of course, there’s the much larger issue, which is that they have to get home, and even if they repair the ship, they have no idea how to do that. They set up a beacon that Starfleet will be able to detect, in case Raven figures out where they went and how to get to them, but Bellamy has no fucking clue how they got here, let alone how to reverse it and get back.

Which is the downside of being stuck with Clarke. It would really help if they had an engineer with them. As it is, all they have is the computer and time.

“And this,” says Clarke, tossing him something.

It’s so small, he barely sees it, but he still manages to catch it, blinks down at the ring in his hands. “Antique?”

“Yeah, a family heirloom. There’s some sentimental value, but I think my mother would understand why I sold it. It won’t be enough money to go far, but we can sleep on the ship, so all we need is food and supplies.”

“Supplies for a ship from two-hundred years in the future,” Bellamy points out. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that whatever parts we might need are probably going to be expensive and hard to access. We should maybe be trying to settle in for the long haul.”

Clarke’s shoulders slump. “I know.”

“So–we’re a young couple who fell on hard times,” he says, slow. “You’re selling your wedding ring to help us make ends meet. We should replicate papers now, before we’re worried about power. If we have to, we can probably find jobs, get a post office box–what?”

She’s staring at him, slack-jawed, but at the question, she smiles, shakes her head. “You have an amazingly detailed plan ready for how to survive in the collapsing United States.”

He shrugs. “Have you ever looked into Starfleet records? People get sent back in time a lot. This one works for most capitalist societies.”

“So, you think we might have to stay?”

It’s a staggering thought. The country is on its way to a much needed and ultimately successful revolution, but Bellamy doesn’t really want to witness it.

“I think we need to make sure we can survive here first,” he says. “And once we’ve done that, we can work on getting home. But unless you have an idea for what to do right now to fix the ship and get back–”

“You’re right.” She sighs. “So we’re going native for a while.”

“At least they speak English,” he says. “Come on, let’s go pawn the wedding ring.”

*

There is something academically fascinating about traveling into the past. Bellamy’s done it before, to an extent, the same way everyone has: in the holodeck, as a curiosity. He never went to this exact year, but he’s been to places like this, in recreation. He knows how it’s supposed to be, and it’s interesting to see the differences.

If he knew he could just end the program and go back whenever he wanted to, he’d probably enjoy it. As it is, he’s too aware of the dangers they’re facing, of how close they are to being found out and detained as illegal immigrants or terrorists or whatever else this regime is afraid of.

It’s not all bad, of course. Most of the time, they’re just living their new lives, taking advantage of their fictitious histories and credentials. Bellamy gets a job at a university, working in the library, and Clarke finds one at a hospital. He never stops being worried every time he sees a police officer, but he learns the routine of it, the same way Clarke learns to keep her head down and not respond when men tell her to smile or whistle as she walks past.

They can’t afford to make waves. They can’t afford to be caught.

“I do like seeing the television programs,” Clarke says, with false cheer. It’s been a month, and she saw her third person die of an injury she could have cured in a matter of seconds at home, and had to turn away someone else because they couldn’t pay for their own treatment. She crawled onto their lumpy couch next to him and curled into his side, and he wishes he had something better to do than just hold her. “They’re interesting.”

“Yeah, it’s amazing how much of this stuff didn’t survive. Apparently they’re in a golden age of television, but I missed most of them.”

“For a golden age, there are a lot of white men,” Clarke grumbles.

Bellamy has to smile. “Most golden ages in history have just been for white men, yeah.” He leans back. “I wonder which of our proudest accomplishments will seem barbaric in three hundred years.”

“It’s not like plenty of people don’t know it’s bad now. And we have an advantage, at least.”

“We might get out of here someday?”

Clarke snuggles closer, which feels like an advantage all by itself. He knew how much he cared about her before, but it’s different now. He thinks she might care about him just as much, for a start. “We know it’s going to get better,” she says.

That makes him smile. “We do, yeah.”

*

After six months, Clarke starts a countdown to the revolution that they both know is coming.

“We should really get out before that,” she says, and he snorts.

“Yeah, I figured. I still don’t know a fucking thing about time anomalies, though. If you have any ideas, I’m all ears.”

“Honestly? I was thinking we could start looking at science fiction.” He snorts, and she elbows him. “I’m serious! I’m not saying we’re going to find the answer we’re looking for, but we might get some ideas. Something we could run by the computer for projections. I’m not coming up with anything on my own, so–”

“So let’s start seeing what other people have thought of.” He shakes his head. “I guess you’re right, it couldn’t hurt. I think you just want to interact with more media,” he teases.

“I don’t just want to interact with more media,” she shoots back, and he laughs.

But somehow, it works. They nearly turn off Back to the Future once it becomes clear that it’s not actually going to help, but the whole thing is fun and amusing, and it’s not like they don’t have time to just enjoy themselves.

And then, in the second movie, the main character gets a letter from the past, the distant past, and Bellamy thinks, well, why not.

“We could do that,” he says.

“Which part?” Clarke asks. She’s already half asleep; her hours are longer than his, most days. And the healthcare system is slowly killing her, he’s sure.

They have to get out of here.

“We could leave a message for Raven. There are some companies that are still in operation, we just have to find one. Tell her where we are and when. Set a delivery date. You remember when we got lost, right? It can’t hurt.”

Clarke’s awake now, and laughing. “I can’t believe you actually got a plan from Back to the Future II.”

“It was your idea,” he shoots back.

“Teamwork.”

He has to smile. “Teamwork.”

*

They get a zipcar out to the park where they hid the ship, have the computer find a list of local attorneys or delivery companies that are still operating under the same ownership. The computer comes up with more options than Bellamy was expecting, which turns out to be a good thing, because none of the first few work out. Some think it’s a prank and refuse outright, and others agree, but with the kind of patronizing expression that made Bellamy think they weren’t really going to follow through.

At the fifth place, Clarke takes a different approach.

“I know this is a little strange,” she says, “but–we wanted to leave a time capsule. For our descendants, if we have any.” She holds up the package, neat, and wrapped in brown paper. “To be opened on the three-hundredth anniversary of our daughter’s birth.”

The man smiles, indulgent, but not opposed. “So, this is the date we, as caretakers, should open the package?”

“And then follow the instructions to find any surviving relatives of ours.”

“Like she said, we know it’s unconventional, but we had a time capsule from my grandparents, and we wanted to give something to that to future generations,” Bellamy adds.

“Well, I can’t promise anything, of course,” says the man. “No one can see the future, and that’s a long time for the business to survive. But we have performed similar services for others, so if you’re willing to risk it–”

“We understand,” says Clarke. “Thank you.”

They leave a few others, just to be safe, and then it’s suddenly–awkward. That’s the thing about time travel; if it works, they should find out soon. They don’t have to wait for Raven to get it, because sometime in the future, Raven will have gotten it as soon as they left, and even if it takes her months or years to solve the problem, they shouldn’t feel that delay.

All they told her was the day she couldn’t come before, to avoid a paradox; everything else is up in the air, and all they can do is hope.

“I wonder if she can even hit an exact day,” says Clarke. “Or if she’ll accidentally show up three years early or something.”

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s Raven. And she has all the time she needs.”

“Let’s hope she doesn’t waste her life trying to figure out how to come get us.”

“We did tell her we’d be fine if she didn’t make it back,” he reminds her. “She knows that.”

“I know.” To his surprise, she takes his hand and squeezes it. “We will be fine, Bellamy.”

“Yeah,” he says. “We will.”

*

Raven doesn’t make them wait long; they check the ship two days after they deposit the messages, and there she is, repairing the engine like she’s been there forever.

“Seriously, you two had to land here?” she demands, by way of greeting. “There’s so much air pollution I can barely breathe.”

“We’ve been here for six months,” says Bellamy, and then they both break into smiles and hold on to each other together. He passes her onto Clarke, and then it’s all business, Raven getting the repairs done while Bellamy and Clarke have the strange responsibility of putting their affairs in order, quitting jobs and leaving apartments with no notice, only a few steps above vanishing without a trace.

It’s hard to care that much. They’re going home.

Raven brought another ship and more crew to help, and it only takes a day, all told, for them to be redoing whatever she did to get back the first time. After all that waiting, it’s almost anticlimactic. All that worry, all that stress, and then they’re just–home. No money to worry about, no police watching him with wary eyes, just their ship and their people, like it’s supposed to be.

There’s only one thing missing: he and Clarke barely see each other, the first week. They’re together at meals, and sometimes throughout the day, but their duties have never brought them together very much, and after six months of cohabitation, it feels like nothing.

She must feel the same, because at the end of that week, she shows up at the door to his quarters. “I thought we could watch something,” she says, with a small smile. “Maybe some golden age television.”

He laughs and tugs her in. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. “Because I’ve been wanting to kiss you, and if I can’t, I want to know now.”

“I’ve been wanting that too,” she murmurs, and tugs him down.

And just like that, Bellamy’s finally home.

[doomonfilm]

Thoughts : Fruitvale Station (2013)

Normally, I celebrate Black History Month on my social media page by posting different achievements, key moments and important figures from the African-American experience.  There was something about 2020, however, that made me feel the need for change… mainly, it was the fact that Black Americans continued to be the victim of race-based violence at a disproportionate rate, even in the midst of a pandemic.  Based on the continued instances of said violence, I felt the need to make a shift in terms of what I shared on my timeline, so I adopted the #SayTheirNames approach.  In doing so, Oscar Grant was a clear cut name for the list, but that also made me realize that I’d never taken the time to sit down and watch Ryan Coogler’s debut film, Fruitvale Station.

On New Year’s Eve 2008, Oscar Grant (Michael B. Jordan) begins his day staving off an argument with his girlfriend Sophina (Melonie Diaz) and preparing his daughter Tatiana (Ariana Neal) for school.  He calls his mother Wanda (Octavia Spencer) to wish her a happy birthday, and during a stop at the grocery store to pick up stuff for her party, he meets a young woman named Katie (Ahna O’Reilly) who is preparing for a party of her own.  In need of money, Oscar attempts to sell some weed to his friend, but after a moment reflecting on his last stint in jail, he dumps the weed and chooses to change his life for the better.  Oscar, Sophina and Tatiana attend Wanda’s birthday party, and afterwards, Oscar decides to celebrate New Year’s Eve night in San Francisco.  Wanda convinces Oscar to take the BART,  and during his ride, he is recognized by Katie from the grocery store.  She calls out to him, which notifies another man on the BART of Oscar’s presence, and based on their prison history, a fight breaks out.  The BART Police get involved at Fruitvale Station in Oakland, and while Oscar and a number of others are being detained, a scuffle breaks out between Oscar and two of the police : Officer Caruso (Kevin Durand) and Officer Ingram (Chad Michael Murray).  The struggle escalates, leading to the shooting and eventual tragic death of Oscar Grant on New Year’s Day, 2009.

In the hands of a lesser director, the tragic tale of Oscar Grant would be milked for every bit of emotional and dramatic beat  that can be amplified and exploited, but in the hands of Ryan Coogler (and in his debut no less), Coogler gives us a true slice of life presentation of the struggles that trip up even the most well-intentioned young men, and the underlying aspirations to eliminate them.  The tragedy that beset Grant, as commonplace as it has become these days, is about as much of a twist ending as that of the film Titanic, so instead, we are shown Oscar Grant taking stock of his life with all the pomp and circumstance of an instruction manual.  In my mind, it feels like Coogler and all involved decided to not only make Oscar Grant as relatable as possible, but also show how his last day on Earth had the same ups and downs of any other one.

The strongest aspect of this film is its immediate and deeply penetrating honesty.  Before we are properly introduced to the actors portraying their very real counterparts (properly, meaning we hear them before we see them), our first visual stimulus is the actual footage of Oscar Grant’s last moments that lead to his death.  Once the actual film starts, there are no airs put on in an attempt to make Oscar Grant an angel… instead, we are shown Oscar attempting to reconcile the broken trust in his relationship, stating his intention to sell weed in order to make money and even driving a car while operating a cellular phone.  We are also shown his attempts to connect with and support his daughter, as well as a birthday text and phone call to his mother, therefore humanizing Oscar as we join him on his tragic journey.

Using a handheld camera grounds the film in reality, making it feel more like a documentary than a dramatic retelling.  The film has a similar energy and pacing to Gus Van Sant’s Death Trilogy, particularly the film Elephant, in the way that we are shown every mundane element involved in the march toward tragedy, with the main difference being that this story is true.  The film looks great in terms of the way it captures the Bay Area, but ultimately, this film was not made as a vehicle to impress viewers with its flashiness.  This is a film with a righteous agenda, and it more than holds up its end of the bargain in terms of achieving its goals.

Michael B. Jordan has always had a knack for mixing underlying emotion and a very natural screen presence, which works well in this character study of a life cut short too soon.  Melonie Diaz matches Jordan’s natural energy, but not at the expense of displaying her sense of urgency to have the needs of her and her child met.  Ariana Neal gives a strong performance for such a young actress as she manages to be charming without being cheesy, and at times, incredibly pensive for such a young mind.  Octavia Spencer does what she does best, bringing a loving presence and a motherly sternness to her character that validates Oscar’s choices to shift his life in the right direction.  Ahna O’Reilly turns on the charm, making her the kind of beacon that a stranger would gravitate to in hopes of a connection.  Key supporting performances by Kevin Durand, Chad Michael Murray, and appearances by Christina Elmore, Tamera Tomakili, Chris Reidell, Denzel Worthington, Jonez Cain, Jasmin Bristow and a host of others fill out the cast for this sad tale.

This film was every bit as moving and powerful as everyone said it was.  The fact that I knew how sad an ending I was headed for did not deter my enjoyment of how well the film was made, or how impressed I was by how carefully and respectfully the story was handled.  The circumstances surrounding the film are no doubt tragic, which makes this film an important piece of film and cultural history that I will do my best to share with any and everyone willing to listen.  

[secret-kkh-fics]

Spark Before the Flame | Chapter 1

Due to this not being posted anywhere else yet, please like but DON’T REBLOG my fics.

Chapter Summary:

90-year-old Zuko reflects over the state of the world as he comes to a decision that will change everything. And has a final goodbye with Katara.

Author Note:

This one was inspired a conversation @badwolfrise​ and I had about how in time travel fics where people go back in their own timeline (or bodies) they never tell anyone that they’re from the future and try and keep it secret. This was a ‘what if Zuko was like ‘nah, I’m just going to tell them... and what if he was like ‘fuck it! I’m changing time! I want Katara!’ He is basically faced with the chance to make ‘in another life’ a reality. Also, the idea of Young Zuko being stuck in his head while Old Zuko controls it was too funny to pass up.

An Old Man with Many Regrets 

Zuko stood on his veranda, gazing sorrowfully down at his city, the dim light only casting deeper shadows across the rundown buildings. This had once been the most beautiful view, pristine houses belonging to the wealthiest in the Fire Nation. Long ago, after the war, Caldera had been a shining beacon of hope, supporting all the other nations as they rebuilt. A glorious time of peace had begun to blossom with he and his friends doing their best to reverse the damage his father and forefathers had done to the world. Celebrations and festivals had been abound, many glad to be done with Ozai’s tyranny, or at least relieved to have their families returned safely from war... but it had not lasted.

Now his once beautiful city resembled the lower ring of Ba Sing Se. He knew that the poorer areas were much worse. And he knew from reports from other nations that the rest of the world was no better off.

The world had fallen apart, and as time does, all the wonderful things from his youth had been slowly washed away. Even his friends and family. His father had, of course, been the first to go. Even almost 70 years later he still wasn't sure how he felt about that. Then, sadly, was his beloved Uncle, saving him from yet another assassination attempt. And as time went on, he lost so many more. Sokka, Toph, Aang, his wife and even two of his children and three grandchildren. Only Katara remained of the friends he once had.

He was old, and he was tired...

But he would give anything and everything for the world to be as it once was. For it to be better.

 "Are you sure that this is the path you wish to take?" the spirit asked him.

"Yes," he replied solemnly.

"We have told you of the risk, you know that once you go, there is no coming back."

"Yes, I know. It is a sacrifice I am more than willing to make. I am an old man with many regrets. If there is even a small chance to make any of this better, I will."

The Moon Spirit had a sad but relieved expression on her young face. She had not changed at all since she had become a spirit, she still looked like the beautiful Water Tribe Princess he had seen that one short moment, the day of her death.

"Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko. You are a very brave man."

He chuckled. "Stubborn more like."

"It will take the energy of many spirits to do this... would you like to say goodbye first?"

Zuko raised his head in hope, knowing immediately who Yue meant. He had written to Katara about the situation, and they had argued over it for the week in which he had to decide. But in the end, it was his decision, and he had not had time to tell her of his choice. The idea that he could actually tell her somehow, see her, and say goodbye. It made his heart swell with a bittersweet joy.

"Please," he breathed, his golden eyes alight.

Yue nodded. "As we speak, Katara is passing on from this world." His heart froze in his chest, and for a moment he could not breathe. "To send you back, we must first bring you to the spirit world. There will be a short moment where you will both be in the same place. Are you ready, your majesty?"

"Yes," he said, his voice tight. "Yes, I am."

Yue reached forward, and gently placed her hand over his heart. He felt a jolt, as if he had been hit by lightning, and then, for a moment, everything went black.

 When he opened his eyes, he was in a murky place where the only thing he could make out was a dense fog, everything else just looked like a grey blue haze. Everything except the woman who stood before him. It had been five years since he had last seen her in person, their duties and age keeping them from travelling as much, and like him, she had aged. But still, after all these years, he still saw her as incredibly beautiful.

"Zuko?" she said, looking up at him in confusion.

"Katara," he said warmly, taking one of her hands in his. She, however held a sadness in her eyes.

"Have you..." Died. She was wondering if he had died too. From what Yue had explained to him, that is how it would seem to everyone else. Someone would come to his room and find his body. It was what happened when you ripped your soul from it.

"No, not really," he told her, cupping her cheek in his hand as tears began to well in her eyes. "Yue is giving us this chance to say goodbye. I have accepted their offer."

Katara's eyes widened and she gasped, the tears leaking over. "Zuko, no!" she cried. "W-why would you do that? You have your people, your family, people who need you. It is my time, not yours!"

He smiled gently at her. "It is my time, too, if you are no longer in this world, my dear," he told her softly. "My people have Izumi to lead them."

"The spirits should have asked me."

"You were not in the position they needed. Besides, you are much too gentle with everyone, when you're not angry at them all." This drew a smile out of her, making him feel much warmer. "I will go back, and things will be different. They will be better."

Now Katara full on grinned. "You will probably freak everyone out. I can see you going back and yelling at everyone until things are as they should be."

Zuko chuckled. "Yes, that was what I had intended to do."

Katara rolled her eyes. But then a look of suspicion and fear crossed her face. "And what else are you going to do?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Do not play innocent with me, Mr Fire Lord. I know you will do the task that has been given to you. But you are going to the past to change things. You have free reign to change what you will. What else do you plan on changing?"

"Well, foreknowledge of certain political events certainly wouldn't hurt to have. And, if I happen to make the Avatar train more intensely so I have more time to woo a certain beautiful waterbender, that wouldn't be so bad either."

Katara giggled as he kissed the hand he held. But as she looked up into his molten gold eyes, she sobered up.

"You will be changing everything," she said seriously.

"I know," he told her. "This world we know will practically cease to exist. Hopefully replaced by a better one."

"It will be a better one," she said, cupping his cheek. "One I am sad I will not see in this life."

"Here's to the next one, then," he said quietly. As he gazed sadly into her deep, sapphire eyes, he felt a tugging in his chest and looked up to see that Yue was standing a distance behind Katara, waiting for him. This was it.

Noticing him looking over her shoulder, Katara glanced back at the spirit who once could have been her sister and frowned. She knew he had to go now, but she was not ready to let him go. With a sad smile, she went up on her tip toes, using the hand on his cheek to guide the tall firebender down to her, and placed a gentle, bittersweet kiss on his lips.

"Goodbye, Zuko," she said quietly.

Zuko blinked, his eyes rimmed with tears. "Goodbye, my love," he whispered.

And then everything was white.

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