#Mainly cause that was my assumption first watching the show

[ficauthor]

I like to think no one really explained Soos' whole deal in the dynamic to Ford so he just assumed that he had to be Stan's illegitimate kid/grandkid he couldn't claim bc of faked death/stolen identity reasons. I like to think he also never mentioned it bc one hes bad at communication and two Soos and Stan seem happy. and well Stan likely explained something to the kid one on one bc Stan is many things but not a deadbeat. Ford in his wisdom just like assumed they didnt use terms like 'dad' or 'grandad' cause it'd reveal Stanley wasnt dead/ or then itd make it so Stanford was responsible legally.

He probably saw Soos' reaction to Stans memory loss as further proof tbh. Like yeah seeing your dad/grandad loose all memory of you would be rough.

I like to think he just did his best to try and bond with his 'nephew' for a few years before accidentally letting slip that he was excited for uncle/nephew bonding time to Soos. Soos wouldn't comment bc hes excited to basically be excepted as family by another Pines.

I keep trying to think of a way the missunderstanding gets cleared but no I dont actually think it does. I think the only thing that'd become clear to him is Stan is Soos' father not grandfather. But not that its emotional and not blood. Bc everyone in that family sees Soos as family. Dipper and Mabel more or less treat Soos like a combo big brother/goofy uncle. And Soos isnt gonna willingly bring up his bio dad, plus everyone in the know about his bio wouldn't just share that. So I think Ford dies fully believing he's blood related to Soos. He wouldn't even reject Soos if he knew the truth I think he comes to love him as family too. I just also think its hilarious the idea that he believes that because he made some insane leaps in logic and no one knew to correct them.

Stan doesn't even know his brother thinks this either. Hes probably like 'wow all this time apart and Sixer still knows me better than anyone. He knows that kid is like a son to me!'

[bookshelfdreams]

There were two great posts about Izzy yesterday, and I would like to expand on and add my 2 ct to the things said in them a little. One, by @celluloidbroomcloset (with additions by several others), about how Izzy immediately falls back into old patterns of manipulative behaviour after his supposed redemption in 02x07, only this time with Stede as the focus of said behaviours instead of Ed. The other, by @batsarebetterthanpeople, about how Izzy's behaviour in 02x06 and onward is more akin to the development a homophobe coming around to a queer loved one, than an arc of queer self-discovery.

Izzy's story isn't about himself. I think this is the first, fundamental mistake people make when engaging with it. He's not a protagonist; he doesn't exist in the story for his own sake. So when ofmd asks "How to reform a toxic person? What does it look like and is it even possible?", the starting point isn't one of empathy with Izzy.

It's one of empathy with Ed. ofmd is asking these questions not because it wants to understand Izzy better. What it wants to explore is the possibility of Ed having the relationship with Izzy Ed wants. Whether Izzy can be brought around to understanding Ed's wants and needs, whether he can understand the hurt he caused him.

This is a fundamentally different approach to how these stories are usually told. Usually, we start out with the unspoken assumption that the toxic person is well-intentioned, good at heart, and whatever pain they caused our protagonist is more akin to a misunderstanding than deliberate harm. Yes, they may have have caused hurt, but if you just see things from their perspective, you'll understand that they only had your best interest in mind, and that will enable you to forgive them.

Obviously this can't not veer off into victim blaming. "The abuser had a good reason for what they did, and therefore, it's your own fault. Or at the very least not theirs."

ofmd fundamentally rejects this. It is very careful to never let the bullies and abusers have a valid point. Abusers are abusive because they get something out of it. To truly reform an abuser, they would have to be willing to build a life for themselves that is a lot less comfortable. Where they have to consider other's feelings, communicate and compromise, meet other people on equal footing, instead of putting themselves in a position of authority. It means letting go of patterns of behaviour that they have so far been quite successful with*.

And Izzy - tries. He is interesting because part of him clearly wants to leave the toxicity behind. He gets to see what positive relationships, human connection, being part of a community look like; he's offered an outstretched hand, and, after biting it a few times, tentatively starts to take it.

But he can't quite get there. The temptation to fall back into what he knows is too strong. celluloidbroomcloset's post linked above talks mainly about 02x07, so I'm not gonna repeat all that, but I'm going to add two little scenes from 02x06 that further cement this. In the beginning of the episode, Izzy finds Ed as he's standing on deck, watching the sea, and the conversation that plays out is a clear mirror to, almost repeat of the Frankfurter clouds scene from 01x04. Ed tries to share an observation with Izzy in an attempt to reach out to him ("Something's wrong. Feels like a storm's coming but I can't see it."), which Izzy, of course, immediately dismisses ("Or maybe you're just a mopey twat and there is no fucking storm").

The second scene is, when Izzy is the only one discouraging Ed from following Stede to his cabin after he kills Ned Lowe. Discouraging support, discouraging connection and emotional honesty; Izzy will continue to try to isolate Stede.

Now, I do not think this, or the things happening in 02x07, are put in there deliberately to show that Izzy has ulterior motives. Rather, they are an illustration of how deep these maladaptive patterns of behaviour go. Izzy isn't able to fully admit to himself the extend of the harm he caused and this is what prevents him from truly changing his behaviour - even when he has just experienced the benefits of a loving, supportive community!

All of this is the explanation to the answer the show gives to our starting question: Is it possible for Ed to have the relationship with Izzy that Ed wants? And the answer is: No. Just because growth is possible, doesn't mean it is enough. Doesn't mean anyone's entitled to forgiveness. Sometimes, the only compassionate thing to do, is to take yourself permanently out of the other person's life.

But Izzy did learn, and he did grow. It's just that the purpose of said growth wasn't to heal him; it was to enable him to understand the hurt he caused to Ed. That doesn't have to mean people like Izzy can never be reformed, it just means that this isn't a story about the reformation of a toxic person. It's the story of leaving this toxicity behind.

And this is why Izzy's heartfelt apology followed by his immediate death is a positive ending. It represents the conviction that no relationship is so broken it can't be mended, but also the assurance that no relationship is so important it can't be ended.

Ed gets to hear the things he needs to hear most - I am sorry, I was wrong, you didn't deserve this - and then Izzy disappears from his life, and with him, all the toxicity he represents.

They can part on good terms, but part they must. So Ed can go into the rest of his life, unburdened.

*read Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that", seriously. The whole thing is on archive.org.

[just-antithings]

Antis: Fiction affects reality!!! We need to ban those sexy fics and art because heres our evidence that the sexy fics and art on fandoms change people's reality and cause harm!

*Shows Jaws, A thriller adventure movie that's still able to be watched and is not banned despite supposedly affecting people's reality. Not 18+*

*mentions slenderman, an indie horror game which has also not been banned. Not 18+*

Huh it's almost like its not the sexy problematic fics doing it, if we want to take antis words for it how fiction affects reality then what we really need to ban is Horror, Thriller and Adventure games and movies by both big budget companies and indie developers that are targeting anyone below 18!

Jaws is not rated 18+ neither is slenderman what does this tell us? It means we should higher the age rating to 18+ since as antis say minors can't tell the difference between fiction and reality it also tells us that THINGS FOR ADULTS should NOT be sanitised because 18+ games, movies and books are NOT causing the issues. Obviously I'm anti censorship, i do not agree in sanitising or censoring anything but if this are the only two pieces of media that they will show time and time again regarding fiction affecting reality they need to realise that their fav media will be first on the chopping block

Why do they never mention CSI the fur and loathing episode where it painted furries as a mainly sexual thing and made the general public more hateful towards furries? Oh wait because it shows its not the sex that is the problem, it's people being close minded and those who lack the care to actually research before judging. It's peoples laziness or lack of education, not the tv shows fault itself. The worst thing that happened? A lack of understanding about the topic they focused on, ignorance is harmful that episode showcased how a creators ignorance can push further harm.

But no antis don't talk about csi, doesn't talk about how the stigmatisation of sexual acts are shamed and hated on which furthers hate to furries! Instead they push the horror game & Thriller/ adventure movie to try and claim sex is bad, taboo sex is evil and that depicting fictional sex deserves you to be harmed and that everything needs to be sanitised for kids!

Sorry I am really passionate about this and the csi episode was popular with adults in my life so I had to keep explaining what a furry was and to dismantle the assumptions they made because of that episode for years after. I think it's a disservice not to mention how misinformation is spread through badly researched mainstream programs and how that can impact people who are ignorant of the topic and not caring enough to look into it, but that goes against antis plans, they want to santise and censor the sexy thungs and since sanitisation and censorship allows for misinformation and abuse to run rampant... well, they can't really bring it up unless they stop their anti sex campaign

👆👆👆👆

[my-pjo-stuff]

This is mainly a Luke Castellan blog, but also a TA blog… so I’m just going to share my thoughts about how underutilised Chris is because despite Luke being my favourite I find the character Chris could be is fun to think about.

Chris was only claimed after the war, and I don't know if its ever mentioned beforehand that he knew he was Hermes' son since some unclaimed (mainly of minor gods) do seem to know who their parent is without being claimed. But running off the assumption he didn't? He was inside Hermes' cabin the entire time, you'd think the guy would atleast have the decency to claim his kids so they're treated better in his own cabin, like surely his children being treated as guests would atleast be some sort of insult towards him but I guess I expected too much for a guy like him even if the bar was already in hell. He doesn’t even get to move cabins like he’d maybe imagined after being claimed because he’s always been inside his cabin, he just never realised it. Luke, the guy who most likely recruited him to the TA, has been his brother this entire time and he just didn’t know. I wouldn’t blame him if after the war he left camp as fast as possible, if it just wasn’t about leaving camp but leaving behind that cabin that seems to just remind and taunt him of the fact that his father didn’t want to claim him until he was forced to, of the siblings and life he could’ve had.

Also the entire execution of demigods in the titans army, if he knew about it? (Because I think it seems like the gods are keeping it hush-hush? And the other demigods just think they’ve gone into hiding after losing? Looks like it from what I’ve seen anyway but I’m not caught up on the newest books…) Imagine watching people you fought alongside with, most likely were atleast friends with some of them just be slaughtered and know the only reason you’re not right there dying with them is just because you got lucky and decided to switch sides. Because who’d save Chris if he was standing infront of the Olympians as their enemy? Certainly not the guy who forgot or didn’t care enough to claim him. Do you think he ever sometimes wishes that he hadn’t betrayed the TA? Sure, he wouldn’t have changed who won the war, but would it have been better to die for the cause, knowing he atleast pissed off the gods than to have to watch while they don’t even try to change?

Point being I think Chris is a character who has a lot of potential but nothing is done with him and I also think that after the war he (along with all of Hermes’ children tbh) should’ve been allowed to punch his pathetic excuse of a father in the face. (Luke was Hermes’ favourite, his so called pride and joy, and if Hermes treated his favourite child so badly… what does that say about how he treats the rest?)

Not going to lie, considering he was BARELY there for Luke he props was a complete no-show for his kids. As for Chris, I honestly agree. We have nothing on him and his only function really is just "Clarisse loveintrest". Which, ngl- came outta nowhere if we are all honest. Personally, I would like to know why he switched sides in the first place. I mean you can assume it had something to do with going mad and being cured- but it's still relatively little. Chris was with Luke and the TA from the beginning, you'd expect him to hold some sort of grudge. Alas, Rick doesn't like fleshing him out ig T-T

[doomednarrative]

What do you think of Geats ending that you feel doesn't stick the landing?

I'm going to answer this with the assumption that you are asking me in good faith and not looking to start a fight, and I feel the need to say that considering how people acted in my inbox last time I gave any longer thoughts reguarding Geats. If that's the case then I'm more than happy to talk about my critiques.

(Though bear in mind that it's been almost a year since I watched the series now so I might be a lil spotty on details.)

I think the thing with the ending that bothered me most now that I've had time to sit on it is that making Ace into an Actual God makes him feel more distant as a protagonist. Why did he struggle so much through so many lives if he doesnt Also get to rest and enjoy finally seeing those efforts thru with the first friends hes managed to make during all that time yknow? And I know he makes a point to say that like it's Not his fight anymore, he's passing it off to Neon Michinaga and Keiwa, but like. I still don't enjoy that tbh.

The thing that kills me is that like, after watching Ex Aid especially (which I overall enjoyed much more and has become my favorite of the Riders I have seen, and can compare since it's also Takahashi's work with similar tropes), is that I don't feel like we had the same problem with the likes of Emu even tho he's supremely overpowered compared to everyone else. In that show, it does become a Combined effort to end things. Emu couldn't have done it without Parad as his copilot to properly make Muteki work, and Muteki wouldn't even exist had Kuroto not made the gashat in the first place, that one couldn't be manifested like lv 99 could. Emu very much retains his humanity even with being very different to everyone else, and I really wish that could have been the same for Ace for Geats as well.

That's the Main thing that I wasn't as happy with about Geats ending. It wasn't my favorite, but I could at least accept it cause it still sorta works at the end of the day. The problem is that it's not the only thing in the last 10 episode stretch that I disliked, which made it feel like the icing on a cake that started really strong and turned out disappointing the more you ate.

I also disliked:

The entire set up with Keiwa's dark arc, especially how he was complicit in made Tsumuri suffer for the power he gained (I'm tired of seeing woman specifically suffering in Takahashi shows to forward the men's stories and just in rider in general.)

Neon both only getting a half suit final form in comparison to the guy's full suit upgrades, and the added idiocy of her arc conclusion coming from her fuckin father of all things when her entire story to that point had been finding love from the people who didn't abuse her her entire life. It felt shitty coming from someone who was also struggling with the same family issues at the time of watching, and I Know there are cultural differences at play here so I can't fully critique that like a Japanese fan could, but it personally soured my viewing of the show and for Neon's story in particular.

All in all, Geats is a show that I still enjoy for my own reasons (mainly Michinaga and Ziin) but has fallen in my rankings after seeing better shows in the franchise. If other people feel differently then that's fine and to each their own. This is solely my own personal opinions on it all.

[versadies]

Cancer with Childe? Its not 'cause him and I are both cancer 👉👈

state of grace (hc scenario)

penpal: hope this is to ur liking fellow anons and @tokyosu !!

pairing/s: childe x gn!doctor/healer!reader

prompt: cancer the crab, flower-tattoo soulmate au

sypnosis: after many denials to your assumption, you realized that perhaps some things can be possible for someone like you. (or, hc on how you find out that childe is your soulmate)

include/s: injuries, mentions of blood, cringe (?), reader is a healer, spoilers to liyue archon quest !

-> you swore that you'd become a healer for your beloved village, not to the most feared organization in teyvat.

-> as one of the best healers in snezhnaya, the fatui hired (or rather forced) you to be a personal healer for the harbingers after a strange incident that led their previous doctor to be executed.

-> thankfully, the harbingers don't usually come to your pharmacy given that most of them are always abroad-

-> though there was one particular person who often visits you whenever they can.

-> the moment childe stumbles to your pharmacy for the first time due to an injury he obtained from having a spar with the fearsome scaramouche, he instantly liked you (much to your confusion).

-> whenever the man is in the zapolyarny palace, childe always visits you for random injures both big and small with a grin that never fades from his face. although you're weirded out by how he's so keen in talking to you, you would be lying if you said you don't appreciate the man visiting you given that you're usually by yourself.

-> at times when you treat his wounds, he always rants about things you honestly didn't expect from the harbinger, mainly family.

-> there was never a conversation between you and childe where he does not mention his family. you couldn't help but admire his strong values on family (despite whether or not you could relate to it).

-> when it comes to traveling away from his homeland, childe always writes letters to you just to keep in touch. other than his letters containing his family and what's happening during his stay, he always asked you for an advice to certain wounds that he'd describe as best as he can, to which you'd of course answer when writing a letter back.

-> however, you started to notice how childe's wounds are oddly similar to the flower tattoos on your skin, the placement he described in his letters were usually the same as the newly formed flower tattoos.

-> as always, you shrug it off, thinking it's just purely coincidence. it's impossible for you and childe, a harbinger, to be actually soulmates, right?

-> "...what do you want this time, lord tartaglia?" you ask with a raised eyebrow, looking up at your doorstep to see the harbinger standing there with a grin on his face.

-> "am i not allowed to visit you?" he says with a pout. "i could at least have a i miss you hug."

-> you smile lightly from his comment, unsure whether or not he's serious. "may i see your injuries?"

-> "straightforward, are we?" he laughs, closing the door behind him and walks to one of the beds nearby. "relax, the injuries are completely treated by yours truly of course." he says reassuringly, watching you preparing your kit.

-> "i'd like to be the judge of that, my lord." you retorted, motioning him to remove his top clothing to see his injuries.

-> "didn't i tell you to call me childe and drop the formalities?" he said, immediately removing his shirt and shows you the bandages that's wrapped around the middle of his upper body.

-> you examined his body with a focused look on your face, checking if the man treated his wounds right. letting out a satisfied hum, you smile at the man. "well i must say, you've improved a lot."

-> "well i did learn from the best." he says with a proud smile, causing your cheeks to warm from the compliment.

-> "i'll just heal your wounds with my vision and you're free to go." you said before you place your hand on the bandages, not noticing a faint blush from childe as you focus deeply on your power.

-> although childe is talkative during his visits, he’s very silent when it comes to healing him with your vision, taken you back by surprise. does he not want to bother you with doing your job? or could there be something more?

-> it took a few silent minutes until you let go much to childe's dismay. "that's all i can do for you. you're free to go now." you said with a relieved smile.

-> “aw, you’re not going to let me sta—”

-> before he could finish his sentence, the two of you were interrupted by the door opening, only to see a cicin mage standing by the doorstep.

-> “lord tartaglia,” she speaks up, bowing respectfully. “her majesty has requested for your presence in her throne room. she’d like you to come as soon as you’re done being treated.”

-> you watched as the man’s smile immediately drops, his expression is now filled with seriousness. “i see.. i’ll be there in a few minutes, doctor y/n and i are just saying our goodbyes.” he explains, grabbing his shirt and puts it on.

-> the cicin mage bows again before leaving the room, causing childe to immediately look at you with a grin (creeping you out by the process). “i suppose i’ll come back tomorrow if the tsaritsa decides to send me to another nation.”

-> he then stands up from the bed and pats your shoulder. “thanks again for this, y/n.”

-> you nod in response. “anything for you, my lord.”

-> as soon as childe left and closes the door, you let out a breath that you’ve been holding for a while.

-> this was the last straw for you to think these are purely coincidences.

-> immediately, you rushed to the bathroom nearby and look at yourself in the mirror, taking a deep breath before you reach down to the hem of your clothing.

-> with a hesitant look on your face, you slowly raise up your outfit to see your upper body, eyes widening in shocked when the huge flower tattoo that was recently appeared on the same area as childe’s injury is nowhere to be seen.

-> this is definitely not a coincidence anymore.

-> you then laugh to yourself, running your fingers through your hair in disbelief that the chances of the harbinger being your soulmate is definitely higher than ever. perhaps it made sense that the man liked you because it’s meant to be, but does he actually know?

-> the real question is: should you tell him or not?

[solomonish]

way to go mc, you’ve allowed yourself to be poisoned (nowdateables)

CW for: descriptions of food and eating, brief descriptions of choking-like symptoms. (mainly in the intro, though the individual stories mention coughing, (light) blood and fainting). there will be talk of food and keeping an eye on what is being eaten in the individual character stories as well.

find the brothers here!

When you start coughing:

You’re at a sort of banquet when it happens, which is as embarrassing for you as it is horrifying for him

At first, the brother nearest you just assumes you’re choking, but just as your coughing gets loud enough to attract attention you’re already falling to the ground, covering your mouth.

Diavolo immediately moves towards you but he’s ushered away because nobody realizes it was a fumble on the new chef’s part and can’t take the risk of it being some kind of botched assassination attempt, and some of his staff have to drag him away as he watches helplessly over his shoulder

He sends Barbatos to check on you and sees him kneeling beside Simeon, who is already focusing on you, when he leaves the room.

Taking care of you afterwards:

What he couldn’t do when you were facing the brunt of the poison, he makes up for in taking care of you afterwards.

You wake up in a soft bed, much bigger than any you’ve ever been in before. He’s not touching you, but he is watching you as he lies on his side next to you, propping his head up on one hand. His eyes seem to glow in the dark room, and you think for a moment “huh, funny how this should be something that scares me to death.”

Diavolo is normally a pretty boisterous guy, but when he sees you’re awake and smiles at you, you see the softer, more serious side of him.

Diavolo tries to insist that you either go to the human realm for care or allow him to bring someone, but you point out that the whole program he’s got going on is a little abnormal and it would probably take too long for them to adjust.

He settles for someone you know, like Satan, Simeon or Solomon. He treats them with such firmness, though, you see their eyes flicker to you like “?? is this the same person?”

Diavolo is with you every spare moment he can get: in between meetings, cancelling any non-essential tasks, taking paperwork into the room and sitting with you while he does it

Lucifer probably has a sleepless week ahead of him, picking up his slack :(

Is very gentle with you and lets you take as much time as you need off from school

Afterwards, does thorough checks on his cooking staff and starts drafting mandates to add human-safe options in any restaurant or other eatery you choose

even asks for your input on any human dishes you think should be recreated. the food industry may hate you but hey, now you get to eat the Devildom version of your favorite food wherever you go!

When you start coughing:

Barbatos would never accidentally poison you. He is too practiced in his diligence. He would also never allow you to accidentally poison yourself - the watchful eye he keeps on the prince is not reserved for him.

If you were to somehow be poisoned, accidentally or due to the ill will of somebody else, he wouldn’t be in the same room.

That’s not to say he isn’t immediately alerted and, if he’s close by, he’s making his way to you immediately.

Barbatos has a relatively calm and even pleasant demeanor, but the solemn frown he has on his face when he enters the room silences any chaos your fainting might have caused.

Taking care of you afterwards:

When Barbatos needs to give stellar care, he just defaults to the royal treatment. lucky you, right?

He doesn’t have the most time to stop by and check on you - and the brothers probably whisked you away to the House of Lamentation before he could offer you a place closer to him. (they have the Devildom’s most capable medical staff on hand, yes?)

He definitely does visit you - sometimes Diavolo arrives under the guise of having to talk to Lucifer and lets Barbatos go to you, others he just shows up.

Definitely scrutinizes every little thing the brothers are doing for you and then decides to do things himself.

Soon enough he has traded out your pillows and blankets for much softer ones from the palace, and he makes sure you’re equipped with any potions or even human painkillers you may need while your body recovers.

If you ask him why he’s getting so into it, he just says “What can I say? I only know how to give the best treatment. I’ve had plenty of practice with My Lord.”

When he bends down to press a kiss to your forehead, give him a smirk and ask “oh? is this part of the special treatment Diavolo gets too?”

He’ll just give you a wry smile. You’re lucky he’s still got to treat you gently. “Save such jest for Lucifer, my dear.”

When you start coughing:

He probably did it himself

Everybody already knows his reputation with preparing food, and after you live for however many years and plant names change, you forget some of the names of what is and isn’t poisonous to a regular human.

When you start coughing, he isn’t even concerned - it’s more of an “ah shit, here we go again” reaction because he’s used to this

It isn’t until you fall on the floor that he gets...suspicious.

“Come on MC, don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” He asks, not even bothering to hide his disappointment

It isn’t until you don’t answer and he can hear you practically wheezing that he realizes what he’s done

He kneels down to the ground beside you and rubs your back in an attempt to show that he realizes what is going on and looks at the counter, where some of the ingredients he used are still sitting

He stares at a devildom plant that looks suspiciously like mint for a few moments before it clicks that it’s well liked in the devildom for the intense burning sensation it gives

Taking care of you afterwards:

Solomon is as adept at poison remedies as he is at accidentally poisoning people. (he wasn’t always immortal, after all. he’s had to live with his dangerous curiosity way before he figured that out.)

He’d keep you in Purgatory Hall for the first day, seeing the sorry state you were in.

Would offer you his bed to rest while he sits cross legged on the ground next to you, back against the bed with a spell book. Sometimes he’ll crack open an easy one and talk you through some of the simpler spells, and others he reads it for himself while you rest.

Isn’t big on the proactive care but all you need to do is say his name and he’s ready to get anything you need <3

Only tells the brothers that you’re staying the night because he doesn’t want them to kick the door down. Only tells them why because Asmo started making assumptions in the group chat

Everybody afterwards will tell you that honestly, what else did you expect to happen? It’s Solomon’s cooking, MC. Really.

Solomon figures you’re fine figuring out what foods are safe on your own, but since it was someone you supposedly trusted that poisoned you, he finds himself eyeing any food given to you by a friend. However, since HE was the one who actually poisoned you, this most often ends in intense stare-offs that you have to break up

When you start coughing:

Angels don’t have to be as careful as humans - after all, their lives and bodies aren’t nearly as fragile as yours is.

He doesn’t notice that there’s something in the dish you can’t eat, but he does notice the moment you realize something is wrong.

Watching a human realize that they’ve just put their life in danger is a horrible thing, and the look in your eyes sent his blood pressure skyrocketing before your coughing even got super bad.

He can see your lips swelling and that’s when he looks at the salad on your plate.

He doesn’t dare leave your side, and instead opts to send an emergency message to EVERYONE.

Surprisingly, the “MC. POUSOND. NOW. 💀” gets the message across fairly efficiently.

Taking care of you afterwards:

Being under the care of an angel is a heavenly experience indeed.

Simeon is allowed to stay with you while you recover, offering you multiple soothing drinks and chapsticks to help alleviate your pain.

He keeps your room clean and cool so your environment is as peaceful as can be!

Any gifts the brothers offer, he gives to you personally.

He jokingly offers to spoon-feed you, and if you take him up on the offer you’re both blushing by the end of it.

Once you’re better, he’ll find you at lunch and cheerfully remind you to look what’s on your plate. if you brush him off, he’ll just smile and say something like “don’t you remember what happened last time?” but his smile says something dangerous

When you start coughing:

HE. FREAKS. OUT.

Most likely to think this was a direct attack on you and he’s ready to throw hands. Simeon has to place a hand on his shoulder to get him to calm down.

His voice gets higher the more he fights to get close to you, and Simeon starts gently leading him away while sending concerned glances over his shoulder

Taking care of you afterwards:

The first time he brings you sweets and the demons feel the need to check it over and refuse to give it to you he almost cries

He’s not the one who hurt you, and he worked hard on those!!

Simeon tells him that your stomach might be upset still and that makes him feel a little better, because at least he didn’t directly offend you like that.

Will get “angry” (read: pouty) if you don’t let him PERSONALLY inspect what you’re eating for anything poisonous

Can be found at the kitchen table in Purgatory Hall, hunched and asleep as he drools over cookbooks with human-safe recipes 

[eatyourchancletas]

SUMMARY |  y/n l/n; the trauma surgeon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is taken hostage by the terrifying mafia known as ateez. despite their situations, love arises between the doctor and san; but when an enemy comes in between the group, breaking trust and belief between the members, what will san choose to save; his newfound love or his brothers?

PAIRING | choi san x male reader

INFO/CATEGORY | mafia au, fluff, light angst

WARNINGS | violence, weapon usage/mention, foul language, lower case writing

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AUTHOR’S NOTE | we’re back! sorry for the long break, hopefully we can get into the flow of things! monnie’s already started chapter 5 off amazingly too :p written by both of us this time (mainly edited by monnie)! please leave feedback, like, reblog, whatever you can to let us know whether you enjoyed it or not!  (re-edited because dongwoo and changsik were switched up)

WORD COUNT | 2.4k

TAG LIST :; @jonghoshoe​  if you’d like to be added to the list please say so in our inbox/ask box!

y/n was usually called outstanding, hard-working, smart. but in reality, he was an idiot when he was outside the workforce. 

being a workaholic meant showing your skills, growing them, improving them, and practicing them constantly. sometimes it seemed to be all he knew— it’s what all the people around him saw. 

yet again, outside of it he’s quite a gullible man; which brings him to his current situation… 

“looking for something?” 

he looked away from the bandages he was previously examining to come face to face with a man that looked around his age. “not really, just restocking my clinic. or—trying to find things to restock it with.” the man nods, glancing around suspiciously, although y/n didn’t didn’t seem to take notice of this particular action. 

“this pharmacy is pretty small, but it has lots of good supplies… lots of hidden gems. want me to show you where i get my tools?”

“oh,” y/n blinked in surprise, “you’re in the medical field?”

the man made eye contact with him, managing a convincing smile. “yeah, there’s a clinic down the road from here, about fifteen minutes by foot, this is the nearest pharmacy, so we stock up from here most of the time. i work there as an assistant.”

y/n nodded, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “wow, then please! show me what you suggest.”

at the approval, the man nodded, “name’s changsik, by the way. what do you work as? i’m assuming you’re also in the medical field.”

they walked along the aisle of the cough syrups, ointments, and the few other medicines to turn and make their way to the exit door. y/n furrowed his brows, about to ask why they were exiting until changsik made another turn, walking towards the staff room. 

“your assumption is correct, i’m a surgeon…” he replied belatedly, trailing off as he stepped foot inside the room. his eyes trailed on the shelves full of unopened boxes, more prescription pills, and—bingo! the supplies he’d written down on his list. 

for a split second, the memory of san handing it to him flashes across his mind, blinking it away as he turned to changsik. “wait, how are you able to access this?”

“i’m a regular.” he glanced across at him, looking past the window. “and also the perks of having a pharmaceutical license,” a hefty laugh left his mouth, “took some convincing though.” 

“huh,” y/n squatted down, inspecting a box that was on the floor, “i guess that makes sense.”

“just put what you need in a box and take it out. i’ll just say you’re helping me take it back.” changsik smiled, watching y/n nod and do so.

after a few minutes, y/n finished and announced he was ready to check out. changsik’s eyes met one of the cctv cameras before settling on y/n. 

“alright, let’s go check out.” 

as they walked toward the front, they reached the hallway that led to the exit. just as y/n was going to walk past, toward the checkout counter, a hand forcefully grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. he looked behind him, in a startled manner, thinking changsik had just forgotten something. however, a deeper fear struck when changsik’s hand moved to clench at the back of his collar. 

“don’t make a sound.”

the second the cold blade touched the skin of y/n’s neck, the surgeon knew to stay quiet. there was a burning in his throat as he struggled to swallow, scared to trigger any abrupt movement. his frantic mind jumbled about, words of scolding placed toward himself and the situation while trying to get a grip. he thought of using the in-ear to alert jongho, but it would risk exposure of the communication device: in any case… he’d be dead by then.

“what is taking him so long?” jongho grunted, tapping his foot in impatience. it’d already been about 10 minutes since y/n entered the store—it shouldn’t take that long for a surgieron to find equipment that’s of medicinal standard!

tapping his in-ear and calling out the doctor’s name, he got no response. placing his face mask on, he rushed into the store, beckoning the cashier. “have you seen a man, about 6’3” with h/c hair?”

the cashier stared at him with a shocked look, “yes, but he went back toward the restrooms. is he dangerous?”

jongho shook his head before running toward the back of the store. he shoved against the restroom door, shouting out the older’s name as he threw open each stall door. finally admitting the fact that the older had disappeared, he tapped his in-ear once more, calling out for anyone.

“jongho, what’s going on?” hongjoong had intercepted the connection, hearing jongho’s worried voice.

the bodyguard had no time to register the primal fear that would settle itself in his bones once faced with the leader, “it’s y/n, hyung. he ran away.” 

jongho returned to the headquarters after scoping out the area once more and had just entered through the front door when he was met with the sight of the whole group. 

hongjoong was staring at him with his jaw clenched and an almost empty whiskey glass settled in his lax hand. jongho had never seen a look so severe in hongjoong’s eyes—he’d never messed up this bad. and apparently, the leader wasn’t the only one emotionally affected by his mistake, because before hongjoong could even physically express his own anger, san had snatched the glass from his hand and launched it at jongho, missing his head by less than an inch.

everyone was shocked at his silent outburst, san even going as far to ignore the immense pain in his abdomen and on his shoulder, but hongjoong simply sent the younger a look, causing him to cower back in the slightest. jongho, however, was enraged at what had just happened. what gave san, who had no superiority over him, the right to do that?

“what the fuck was that?” he had stormed over to the boy, grabbing his shirt with both fists. san didn’t back down, sticking his jaw out toward the youngest.

“how could you lose y/n?”

“i was told no matter what to avoid cameras, so i stayed outside! i didn’t exactly think the fucker would have the balls to run away!” 

everyone watched the two, eyeing when to step in and pull them apart. but hongjoong let them run their mouths. the longer someone talks, the more something is revealed. what he was looking to be revealed, he didn’t know; but something would come up.

san pushed back against jongho, “y/n hyung wouldn’t run away. he’d never do that!” 

‘oh,’ hongjoong perked in interest.

the younger scoffed, “what makes you so sure?”

san’s next words came as a bit of a shock, leaving the others with silent questions, “he promised he’d come back.”

bingo!

an awkward silence filled the room as they all stared, speechless at how hopelessly fond their brother had become for their hostage. as much as some of them hated to admit it, y/n was only a hostage to them at the end of the day. and for san to fall into a reversal stockholm syndrome of sorts was nothing short of  a disappointment. however, that couldn’t be the main focus, y/n was missing and they didn’t know how strong his resolve would be in the event of torturing.

“run us back on what happened, will you?” hongjoong told jongho, trying to get a clear picture on what went down because the first thing they needed to know was why y/n was taken, much less, who took him. was it by the same person who’d been running their mouths in the streets? 

and right in the middle of his explanation, an alarm went off on yeosang’s phone; it was a message. the others kept talking, figuring yeosang could handle whatever message he’d received. 

it was when he promptly stood up that all attention had been placed on him. 

“it’s him! it’s dongwoo!”

a soft whimper sounded as y/n was thrown to the ground, hands bound and eyes blinded by some piece of cloth.

“boss,” y/n’s kidnapper spoke in a submissive wave, causing y/n to assume the guy had straightened his spine and was saluting him in some way.

a moment later, a gruff voice broke through the eerie silence in the room, “and who is this?” his voice wasn’t angered or bewildered at all, and that’s what scared y/n. he sounded intrigued; like even he wasn’t expecting to be a part of this situation.

“someone with connections to ateez— saw that bodyguard walking around with him.” 

the other man hummed, “the bodyguard didn’t follow you, did he?”

“no, no. i found them by the pharmacy; i know the area pretty well because i do the runs for sowon— i knew the camera blindspots!” his abductor seemed to be a bit on the simpler side when it came to this “boss” of his, y/n concluded. this was a completely different personality than when he was being abducted at the scene…

“good job. and you know what, changsik-ah,” his voice seemed to be getting more intrigued, y/n’s heart beating even faster in response, “since you bought in such a valuable hostage, i’ll let you have the honors of obtaining information from him.”

y/n felt the air beside him shift, changsik bowing a full 90 degrees at his boss’s blessing, “thank you!”

a sickeningly hearty laugh resonated and the creaking of a chair sounded before the boss’s next words seemed to be the final straw for y/n’s pounding heart.

“i want him alive.” 

“he better be alive,” san growled at jongho.

“we might get to him alive if you two would quit bickering. we’re wasting time because of you two, so shut it and sit down!” hongjoong had had enough of the two. he knew it was a sensitive time for san and jongho, different reasons for both, of course, but they would only get nowhere if they weren’t level-headed.

the two boys bowed their heads at their leader, san still sending a side-eyed glare at the younger before sitting down in his chair. 

it’d been two days since y/n was kidnapped and they still hadn’t been able to come up with a plan to get y/n back. 

wooyoung tried to trace where the text message came from within the first minute it was received, but surprise, surprise! it was a burner phone— so back to square one; checking all of the cctv footage in the area and trying to spot a suspect that wasn’t even visible from the first frame. 

the cameras in the pharmacy showed only y/n, the pharmacist, clerk, and four other customers. of those four, only one person never entered through the front door. and within those 48 hours, he’d managed to single out a vehicle that had arrived in the frame of one of the street cams showing the alleyway behind the pharmacy, and left the same way not even 5 minutes later. it was a suspicious vehicle too; white van, no windows in the back, and paper license plates. the paper plates hinted that they were most likely changed recently or are changed frequently.

and so after hours of having to witness his best friend be so uncharacteristically frantic and down, wooyoung, unfortunately, decided to do what he thought was smartest—save y/n himself to make his best friend happy again.

his intentions may have been well, but in stories like these, doesn’t something always go wrong?

“help me set the table guys,” seonghwa cleared his throat, hand on his hip as he stirred the soup on the stove. the steam from the boiling liquid sent another cloud to his tired face, a sheen of sweat and condensation forming.

“i really don’t understand why we are acting like we have the time to set a table and eat home cooked meals when we don’t!” san exasperated, pacing around the dining room. 

mingi gave a sympathetic smile, patting him on the back before going to help seonghwa. 

while mingi was more on the understanding side of san’s worries, jongho disagreed, “how exactly do you expect us to find him if we don’t take care of ourselves?”

“all i’m saying is food and sleep shouldn’t be this consistently on your minds when we’re all in this situation!”

jongho scoffed, finding the utmost absurdities in san’s words, “why are you acting like he’s so important? he doesn’t know anything about us or our weaknesses— for fuck’s sake, it’s not like we can’t just get another doc—”

a fist had flown toward jongho’s cheek, cutting off his words, before san’s thrashing body was being pulled back by mingi and yeosang.

“go to hell choi jongho!” san screamed, trying to force his way through the barrier the two had made with their bodies. the boy could feel his stitches tearing as he fought, but he didn’t care. jongho had been a bitch since the very first moment y/n was around, and for what reason?

“cut it out, san!” yeosang hollered, voice brute as he pushed against the boy.

“no, let me at him. he wants to keep being a little shit, i’ll show him shitty!”

“stop it! you haven’t even noticed, have you?”

san didn’t stop trying to break the barrier, focusing on getting to jongho and the other’s words, “notice what?”

“wooyoung’s missing,” yeosang began, san whipping his head toward him and trying to disagree, but yeosang was having none of it, “and you haven’t done anything but antagonize everyone here for not doing their jobs at your pace!”

“oh, excuse me for trying to be as quick as possible in finding him!”

“yeah, and who ever said quick was the efficient route to go? we’re dealing with people we know nothing about, but they seem to know a little too much about us, no? so stop getting on everyone’s asses and—”

“shut the hell up! please!” seonghwa had slammed his hands down on the table, screaming at the top of his lungs. every person in the room had immediately gone silent, words left on the tips of their tongues in a desperate attempt to fly about.

“you’re all going to shut it, sit down, and eat this meal like the civilized people we are and come up with a plan to get y/n back as safely as possible,” he gave a quick glare at everyone, blowing a puff of air at the lock of hair that had settled over his eyelids.

“am i clear?”

"yes, sir."

[shirophantomvox]

Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi Headcanons

Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi, and Leorio headcanons

Hello, anon! I am so sorry for taking longer than usual to respond to this post. I have been so busy with A LOT lately but I have time now! I don’t know if you want N/SFW, romantic or non so I’ll go based on what comes to mind! I know many Tumblr users have made these types of assumptions for them a lot but I wanted to join in. I started writing this last night so forgive me if there are any unbearable grammar errors. I hope you like it anon, I tried my best. I have to work on my headcanons for them because I try to keep them in character. Since we don’t have much background info on ⅔, I have to keep it as realistic as possible. FYI N/SFW content is mentioned.

Discord for Voltron and HxH fans

Let’s start with Chrollo.

Chrollo (SFW)

I’ve seen on here that a lot of you headcanon Chrollo to be an understanding man when it comes to feelings for his significant other. Given his soft voice and calm demeanor, I’m sure that is somewhat true.

It seems like Chrollo isn’t on board with over-the-top PDA meaning he would agree to hand-holding and his arm around you but nothing more. He saves the...other stuff for when you two are alone. Because of Chrollo’s past, it seems like he wouldn’t want to be seen in public that much because that can cause him to get caught by the authorities.

He takes your safety very seriously. You understand that when he is with the Phantom Troupe that you are not to interrupt until the business is over. He doesn’t allow you to get involved with the missions because of how dangerous they can be (example: the auction). He knows you can handle it, he prefers for you not to be involved. Feelings and work can make things difficult.

Although Chrollo hides in the shadows, I imagine he lives in a penthouse with expensive furniture, white and black color pattern, and large windows that have an astonishing view of Yorknew.

After you both have worked long and hard, you open the door just to see the lights dimmed so dark that it matches the night atmosphere. There are rose petals leading to the bathroom where a bubble bath is waiting. As you enter the bathroom, your boyfriend is waiting there, submerged in bubbles sticking his arms out. Candles light up the tiny room casting a romantic shadow from your body. You grab his hand and gently sit in the tub. The warm water felt amazing; it helped your aching muscles (from exercising) feel better. Chrollo gently grabbed your arm and pulled you into a warm, loving embrace. He wrapped his toned arms around your body and rested his chin on your shoulder. He didn’t say a word but instead breathed heavily, kissed your shoulder, and leaned back against the wall. On days like this, he didn’t say much but his actions spoke louder than words.

Chrollo NSFW

I think Chrollo is a passionate lover. This assumption comes from his calm demeanor. He seems to be incredibly patient so if you aren’t positioning yourself the right way or something, he’ll work with you to make sure you get it and you are comfortable.

He is touchy. That means during the nitty-gritty, he likes to touch your face, chin, lips, and your torso as a way to show more affection.

When he is in the mood, he moves slowly then very fast. He cannot resist the urges and feelings he has for you.

He loves to do this while the drapes are open although you have expressed that you like your privacy. It’s ironic. He doesn’t like extreme PDA but is ok with sleeping with you while the lights from the city shine near your penthouse window. Ah, guys are confusing.

After the climax, he lays flat on the bed and pulls you close. He leaves about an inch in between because heat is still radiating off your bodies and it’s summertime.

Hisoka (SFW) If his significant other was shy.

People have mixed feelings about Hisoka, feelings, and whether or not if he is gentle or not. I don’t think that Hisoka is gentle but begins to lay off the harsh jokes or pranks as he sees that you both have fought before and you’re not as weak as he thought.

Unlike Chrollo, he is all for PDA. This ranges from hand holding to playful kisses to passionate kisses. When I saw Hisoka for the first time, I immediately thought he was a fuck boy. A fuck boy is a boy that is only interested in sleeping with someone and doesn’t intend on pursuing a relationship.

He’d take the pleasure of appreciating your presence as well as testing your patience. If you are shy and are easily flustered, he will change that. He’ll do things like kissing you, calling you affectionate names, or anything that will cause you to respond. You hit him jokingly. Still not getting the message, he continues and you hit him harder. This is where he releases a medium moan which causes everyone to look in your direction. You freeze; face flushed and he’s laughing his ass off.

“What’s the matter,” he asks, covering his mouth. “You look flushed~♥.”

“You’re doing too much. Stop playing around! People are staring~💯.” You cover the side of your face. True enough you were a little mortified but in a good way. You knew he did this because he liked you but sometimes he played too much.

This is when he pulls you closer to his face, your ear next to his mouth, and whispers something in your ear that sent chills down your spine that made you blush more than before. He nearly puckered his lips as he spoke. He took his index finger and thumb to caress your cheek.

“Raising your voice at me? That simply won’t do. Aren’t you aware of the consequences~♥?”

You knew better than to not say anything because he would cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss, and wouldn’t let go until he was sure that everyone was looking.

Both of you enjoy red, white, and rose wine. To him, wine equals classiness and sophistication. After fighting each other for hours (which he considers training for you and exercise for him) drinking wine and watching Lifetime (television for idiots) is a great way to end the night.

NSFW

As stated above, I originally thought that Hisoka was a fuck boy, so I am going to roll with that thought. This man has the potential of being rough and if he is too rough this is the time where you can speak up and say so. He’ll listen to you. Similar to Chrollo, he can be very romantic if he wants to. The rose petals gimmick was played out.

Instead, he hides in the darkest part of the living room waiting for you.

You turn on the lights and immediately head to the kitchen to drink a bottle of ice-cold water. Summer nights in Yorknew were hot and humid, almost unbearable. It felt like you were being suffocated. Becoming impatient, Hisoka clears his throat loudly causing you to nearly jump out of your skin; choking on the water you were drinking. He released a sexy chuckle. When you turned around, there stood your chiseled buff boyfriend bare with a ribbon tied in various directions around his body. Your birthday was two days ago and he was your gift. Although you have seen him like this before, for some reason you were too flustered to make a move. He already knew that you were tired from work, so he carried you in his arms to the Exercise Room and laid you gently on the floor. You smiled as a rush or passion took over your body resulting in you tearing off the ribbon tightly wrapped around his body. Since this was your birthday gift, he made it a night you’d remember forever! Surprisingly, no roughhousing, just soft and gentle. This proves that Hisoka has the capability of being humane. His strokes were to your liking and the gazes that you both exchanged were mind-blowing. Why couldn’t he be this way all the time? After it all, you fell asleep at her quickly. You were on the floor but now on top of your king-sized bed, with the message control on high. He stayed awake, watching TV, and thought about how he was going to pick a fight with you at the crack of dawn.

Hisoka’s ability to flirt and send the intended person swooning is a talent of itself. Lots of people do not possess this talent. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. He speaks softly and smoothly, are he has to do is ask and it shall be done.

Illumi SFW

Illumi gives the impression that he is a “quiet” freak. This means that true enough he is focused on his job but if the moment comes along he will give in. He isn’t into PDA at all and if he does feel like showing some affection it will be done in private. Even though he appears to be a zombie, laying on or even cuddling with his significant other will help him relax for once. Imagine having to complete many missions in a day, exhausted, and have a wonderful person waiting to act as a human pillow for your weary head. Even Illumi can’t resist that.

If he likes you and plans to marry you, he will make that known to everyone to avoid confusion. Illumi represents the stereotypical shy boy; he is anti-social, prefers to only be around people he knows and trusts, and carries out the duties of his job.

After everything has been completed for the day, he wouldn’t mind ( and secretly begs) for silent cuddles with his significant other and to just fall asleep. At this point, you are used to it so this is all you want and you are satisfied. When he does talk, it’s usually about something he found out from work that he knows should be kept quiet but he tells you anyway. Late nights are the time of day where Illumi vents for a few hours. The details of these vent sessions could range anywhere from “I wish you were there to see it” to “No, it would be too much”. As quiet and reserve as he is, his love is shown in a unique way that you have grown accustomed to.

NSFW

When the urge slaps him across the face like a sack of rocks, he cannot resist. Usually, he fights off the urge by exercising (mainly because you are out of the house or sleep) but this time he couldn’t shake it.

Before he gets started with anything, he styles his long hair in the shape of a bun so it doesn’t get in the way of action.

Although he is portrayed to be an emotionless zombie, he has some feeling deep inside him that he unleashes just for you. This is shown by gentle moist kisses being placed along your neck and once he reaches your shoulder that is when you wake up. Halfway through your sleepy eyes, you see a man with a devilish smile painted across his face. Who is this man? This couldn’t be your boyfriend. No way, no how.

Once he sees your sleepy smile, he just releases so many kisses that you throw the blanket off and he pulls you in closer.

Illumi will allow you both to switch the roles meaning he is in charge one time and you are on another day. Since you were still asleep, he decided to take on the role. He is surprisingly gentle in the beginning but as soon as it takes off, your ride him like a donkey. It ironic; he releases more noises than you! You have to remind him that noise travels! Great, you’re doing your job well! While it is important to take your job seriously, you need to have time to release that stress.

He uses his large eyes to stare into yours; you always found yourself lost in his gaze.

After it all, you lay back down waiting for your boyfriend to return from the kitchen. Illumi craves food like crazy after a good session. What’s better than donuts at 3 AM? COMFORT FOOD!!

These urges also come when you two are training together. Several times he’s had to guide you from behind on how to aim his needles. This time you noticed the packing of his pants which surprised you.

“Any questions,” he asked in a monotone voice.

“Yes. Why did you wear jogging pants? You’re giving yourself away.”

It was at this moment, he knew he fucked up. But let’s be honest, ok? He is standing behind the most beautiful person in the world, nostrils full of perfume, hair tied up, and has his left hand placed loosely on your thigh?! What was he thinking by wearing jogging pants when he was with you? He acted as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“You really don’t know?”

You kicked your backside out against him causing him to fall to the ground.

“Wow! Your legs are like jelly!”

“Why tease me,” He asked breaking out a small smile.

“You’re the one denying it.”

“Just get to it. I can’t wait any longer or else I’ll explode.”

The quiet ones are always the freakiest.

[radellama]

Fanfiction "Would you rather?"

Tagged by @future-dregs , yours were so fun to read and I got a bit rambly but had fun answering too!

---

Friends to lovers, or enemies to lovers?

Friends to lovers, definitely. I'd rather not have animosity and troubled backgrounds that add baggage to the relationship, it's frustrating for everyone. Unless it's a very rare case of well done enemies to friends to lovers slowburn.

Be forced to watch a terrible movie adaptation of your favorite fanfic, or an amazing adaptation of your least favorite fanfic?

Amazing adaptation. If something like Harry Potter can be decent movies with THAT kind of source material, you can do anything. I think I've already seen enough terrible fanfic movies with all these shitty 'franchise reboots/sequels' so. Yeah. looking at you star trek and resi

A more fun question for me would be which one I'd have to direct, my favourite fic with too much upper management meddling and ruining it, or adapting a source material I hate but with mostly free reign over how I go about it - to which I'd still go for the one I hate cause I'll work through it with pure, hard boiled spite and turn it into something good LMAO

Read fanfic chapters backwards, last to first, or read them as parsed from google translate?

Backwards, but I'm taking the assumption that each chapter is in order and I'm reading the chapter order backwards, not each word of each chapter backwards as well.

Consume every fanfic as an audiobook read by a monotone narrator, or have to read every fanfic on a tiny printed piece of paper written in yellow highlighter?

I can't fucking read yellow highlighter and I already watch enough of that monotone shit on YouTube when I'm studying/drawing, easy win to monotonous reading.

Get a tattoo on your body of every fanfic title you read, or never read fanfic again?

Tattoos. Just get a good artist and make a kind of design out of how all the titles are placed, make em tiny so you got room for more, and off ya go.

Vampire AU or Werewolf AU?

Vampire! But good ones please lol. Werewolves are fun too but a lot of what I've read is too bland-angst or unfunny crack, and vampires just appeal to me more

Get sold to a boy band, or be stuck in a time loop with your love interest?

Time loop! There's some really nice episodes of shows that have time loops (I'm mainly thinking star trek but I'm SURE I've seen other time loop episodes) so I'd be interested to see how that'd go with different stakes and have it be relationship oriented/character driven instead of in massive high stakes must save the world lol

Kill your favorite character, or marry your least favorite character?

I MEAN.... CT already gives you the option. I can just do that. I've also jokingly already been married and divorced to the annoying shit head from CT as well, but I don't think it counts cause I love to hate him. Dunno. If eventual divorce is an option maybe I'd get married, cause I can already kill

Meet your love interest in a coffe shop AU or a college AU?

Really depends on what we're studying. If it's my current major, that could be kinda funny. Making short films with these constraints and pretty much no budget is insane, and I'm even more so. It'd surely be interesting. Also tbh I don't go to coffee shops because I don't like the smell and they're always loud as fuck and I don't even drink coffee to begin with soooo......

Have your fic history leaked, or never read another fanfic again?

Fuck it. No shame. I've read some shit and it'd be a bit nostalgic to see what I read way back in the day cause some were fun (most the fics are lost or got deleted) but most of it is cringe LMAO

Be able to read amazing fanfiction but it always has an mpreg plot twist, or only read bad fanfiction for the rest of your life?

Listen. If it's amazing, mpreg could be good. I just don't like seeing weird mpreg that feels fetishy and not well done. Plus if this means cool trans rep in fics, sign me up I'll get over my own personal discomforts. Also will it stay a plot twist if it's in EVERY fic I read? That's just overdoing the trope with no innovation

Gay ships or straight ships?

Honestly I prefer The Gays ™ cause at least back in the day, when did we ever get shit. It was all queer baiting or villain characters or bury your gays. But! If it's written well I honestly couldn't care less, I'd take an interesting het ship over a bland gay one any day

Ship a rarepair with almost no content, or a pair with lots of content but almost all of it is cracky nightmare smut?

Haha both of these are reality 🙃🙃 I mean, I made an OC to ship with my favourite dude (almost no content cause I'm da only one making shit) BECAUSE all the other fics with my man were fucking gross. Not even funny cracky nightmare smut just straight up. Enemies that are together but not really lovers, taking advantage of power imbalances, incest, and straight up being disrespectful and blurring lines of consent and all of it feeling wildly ooc. YUCK NO THANKS I'LL STAY IN MY CORNER WITH MY OC AND CONTINUE MAKING DUMB MEME COMICS AND ATTEMPTING THE NICE FIC

See your OTP shatter years after their happily ever after, or never have the happily ever after happen in the first place? 

Hmmmm..... Well considering my oc ship I mentioned previously ALREADY HAS a betrayal and break up with ambiguous ending in mind for their 'canon' fic, I might have to go with the first one. Cause it can be done well and having that reflection of all the good times together being only memories can be so bittersweet... Though I'm up for reading a good one that explores never having gotten together. Any otp I'll read either if it's good

Read a poorly written but complete fanfic, or a literary masterpiece last updated June 2013?

Listen. I've already read some masterpieces that haven't updated since earlier than that. I still think about a lot of abandoned fics all the time. If it's good and I have to live with it being incomplete I'll take it

Read SSSS++++ tier smut with almost 11k words, or 70k words worth of fluff?

Both, if they're both well written. But tbh I'll take the smut if it's that good

Read only alternate universe fanfics, or only canon fanfics?

Considering I get a little inwardly pissy when I see some utterly whacky ooc stuff, I'd rather take the aus, cause then if people feel too ooc for me it's just an au lol..I know the point of fanfic is that you can do whatever but also, if you're doing a canon/canon adjacent fic, I prefer when they're taken seriously. I know that's pretentious as fuck and definitely of the 'you will never understand these characters like I do' shit but. Aus are so much easier to enjoy cause so many people have weird interpretations that'll piss me off way more if they're trying to pass it as canon...

Introduce fanfics to your normie friend with an ongoing smut fic with great writing, or a complete fluff fic with terrible writing?

Great writing. Nothing wrong with some smut if it's really good, no need to be prudish. And honestly, if the normie friend is REALLY against it, I could just create a censored version for them and snip out the smut scenes.

Read your NOTP with all your favorite tropes and perfect characterization, or your OTP with tropes you despise and inconsistent characterization?

Notp done well for sure. If it's that good and in character with good plot and tropes, it could be fun. Dunno if it'll change my mind on it being notp lol but I'd rather that than have to read those shitty fics for my man all over again lol.. Already been through that don't make me do it again

Read a fic with an interesting concept but very poor writing, or read a fic with an uninteresting concept with really good writing?

I've already read plenty of both. Some fic authors are just able to make the most mundane things compelling, and some are still honing their skill but clearly have the passion, and both are fun to read. Don't really have a preference here, I'd probably just go on whatever is recommended to me/piques my interest first lol

Have a major character death, or have a bed sharing scene but it's a ship you hate?

Both lol, I don't really care. I'd be mildly curious about how others characterise the ship I hate, and major character deaths can be very interesting and help create some fascinating dynamics and character driven moments. Actually maybe I'd lean more towards character death

Read a fanfic that has consistent grammar and spelling mistakes, or one that the characters are wildly different than canon?

Grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm taking this as 'wildly different to canon but trying to make a canon fic,' in which case it's a massive no thanks. If it's a crack au or clearly meant to be silly, I don't mind, but grammar and spelling aren't that bad

Every fanfic includes Jackson Wang, or every fanfic includes at least one NSFW moment?

Fucking .. Jackson Wang... I've already been in the dark days where I read Kpop fic and every other fic he'd be there anyway and sometimes it's the most random thing... He's a nice enough dude irl but now I'm older and have different fandoms to actually read I realise I'm rather uncomfortable reading fics of irl people, no matter what the mental gymnastics I might've used to justify back in the day. So I'll take the nsfw thanks

Read the most absolutely messed up dead dove with your most wholesome otp, or subject yourself to 100,000 words of your NOTP all written in a solid block with no punctuation and horrible grammar?

Dead dove. I can take that, I'm fucked in the head anyway and might really enjoy it. Spelling and grammar being poor I can deal with, but a solid block? Even of a ship I do like? No thanks that's going to make my head cave in

Have the power to read every fanfic in existence, or have the power to make any ship canon?

All da fanfic, and please have part of that be that I remember the titles and where to find them LMAO. Unless we're talking about turning my oc ship canon in a game mod.... Coders hmu I have ideas to make this a reality

Have your OTP get together in canon but one of them dies in a tragic way, or all members of your OTP survive but get together with other people?

Hmmmm.... Really depends on what ship it is. And the context. I'd take either cause they're both great angst.. I am trying to think of what I'd lean towards but it really feels split down the middle for me lol

Read a cringy 70 chapter Harry Styles mafia AU, or a highschool Kpop AU y/n fic horrible grammar?

Already read those cringe kpop high school aus with next to no grammar and I'll fucking do it again. I don't care for Harry Styles at all lol

Accidentally send your boss a super detailed smut fic, or read a super detailed smut fic about your boss?

Read one, I can keep that to myself. Yeah maybe the first couple days/weeks after I read it will be hard not to laugh or something, but I'll get over it I can be professional.

Read smut fanfic aloud to your parents, or submit fanfic to the employer of your dream job?

I MEAN....... I'M STUDYING TO MAKE MOVIES RN AND IF IT'S MAKING A SCREENPLAY FOR AN ALREADY EXISTING FRANCHISE THAT'S TECHNICALLY FIC!??? I dunno if making movies is my ~dream job~ but I've always wanted to be creative and make stories so. Easy. Also if I make movies or whatever and there's a sex scene in it that's really similar to reading a smut scene to them anyway..

Pine after an oblivious love interest, or be the oblivious love interest being pined after?

Mutual oblivion 🙈🙈 🤯💥

jk, I think both have their interesting qualities, I can't really say. What about being oblivious to the fact that you're pining??

Hanahaki disease, or your soulmates first words to you tattooed on your body (and they're really stupid)?

Ummm... I don't really read soulmates aus all that often. Hanahaki has a really cool aesthetic to it but all the fics seem the same, and tattoo ones... Like once you meet, what's next? I'd probably say hanahaki just for the aesthetic and fingers crossed it's interesting and not bland tragedy porn, or I'd just ask for a better soulmates au LMAO

Be an Alpha, Beta, or Omega in omegaverse?

I've never read any of these kinds of fics so I dunno. I'll be whatever is funniest or provides the most compelling plot

Read a fanfic where the characters turn into furries, or a fanfic where the characters all get pregnant?

Nothing wrong with furries, could be fun. Lowkey interested in what's caused everyone to get pregnant, like is it just slice of life and EVERYONE is pregnant, like men women and all inbetween alike? Or is it a sci-fi or fantasy where there's some magic/science bullshit? It could be interesting? And tbh I have a few scenes in a fic I'm writing with sci-fi bs for some characters getting pregnant but it's coming from a body horror perspective so? If it's a cool premise I probably wouldn't care about everyone being pregnant?

Be able to resurrect dead fics, or have the power to create of plethora of new fics effortlessly?

So uh. This is the choice between resurrecting dead fics or actually having the time to write my 20+ aus just for ct? That I could even write fics for other fandoms? This is easy I wanna finish writing my fucking fics babbbeeeyyy

---

Tagging @stillmoveforward @hellishgoat @fanimefreak @kanonavi @dishesoap @nyx4 and anyone else I'm forgetting if ya wanna do it. No pressure to it you don't want to either

[myrandomfandomramblings]

The Beach - a The Rookie/Chenford Fanfic

“7-Adam-11, show us responding,” Jackson said over the radio as Lucy leaned back against her headrest defeatedly.

“I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I really don’t want to go to the beach.” “Like ever again,” she added even as she took the first turn towards their destination. 

LA was 4 days into a record heat wave and over that time Lucy had learnt a few important things 1) Unsurprisingly, extreme heat causes everyone to flock to the ocean. 2) It also makes people extremely irritable. 3) Lots of irritable people packed together in large groups leads to chaos and 4) wool uniforms are not ideal attire for patrolling beaches in temperatures around 100. 

So after 4 days she was over it. She had spent Monday with Jackson getting sworn at, honked at and nearly run over as they directed traffic at the busiest beaches in the city. She spent Tuesday with Tim breaking up beach brawls, confiscating contributing alcohol and watching bikini clad woman flirt with Tim. At least 8 different woman had asked him to rub sunscreen on them or suggested he take off his shirt to cool down. She had rolled her eyes so much she had given herself a headache. Although it may have been the sun. Yesterday, her and Nolan and responded to a report of a missing child who was feared drowned or kidnapped but turned out had followed the music of an ice cream truck four blocks and was found, about 30 minutes after the officers arrived, happily eating a fudgiscle. However, they were kept at the beach for the remainder of their shift by various citizens with complaints ranging from seagulls, wasps and possible sharks to thieves, streakers and possible melanoma. 

Now her and Jackson were headed back to a beach where the adjacent shrubbery was currently being consumed by a blazing bush fire, which was in all likelihood human caused and spreading fast. Therefore all hands were on deck as the LAPD worked with the LAFD to keep civilians safe, extinguish the fire and investigate its cause.

The rest of her shift passed in a blur as they interviewed witnesses, cordoned off the area, issued evacuation orders, ensured those who needed it got medical attention, joined a production line passing large buckets of water from the ocean to where the fire was burning and debriefed with their team which included Nolan and Tim, and Lopez and Harper. Luckily in the end, the fire was successfully extinguished, those living nearby were safe and happily back in their homes and the perpetrator, a cigarette butt flicker, was caught. But not until nearly 11pm by which time the entire team was exhausted, scorching and covered in soot and ash. With their job done the team of 6 headed away from the scene back along the beach to where they had parked their shops. They were right on the sand where they left them to create a barrier preventing people from wandering toward the fire and the beach around them was abandoned. Likely due to a combination of the late hour, the fire itself and the fact that the stretch of beach they were on was only accessible by walking about a mile from one of the main beaches on either side or by scrambling down the steep cliff behind them.

“Anybody want a cold one,” Nolan asked when they reached the vehicles, “well a hot one I guess” he amended as he pulled out a six pack he had confiscated earlier in the day from the trunk of his shop. Everybody made a face at the offer of hot beer but since the only light around came from the shops headlights shining in the opposite direction Nolan didn’t see them.

“Screw it, I’ll take one,” Angela said.

“Wesley and Patrice took the baby to meet the extended Evers clan so I have nowhere to be and now that I’m no longer breastfeeding I can have whatever I want. Even if that’s gross beer that’s been sitting in a hot car all day,” she explained.

“If we dig a hole near the water line it will fill with cold seawater and we can make a makeshift beer fridge,” Jackson suggested but Angela had already opened her can and was sipping away.

“I’ll help dig the hole,” Nyla offered. “I’d rather hangout here then go back to the station to do paperwork and Lila’s with her dad so I also have no where I have to be.”

“I’ll call Grey and tell him we’re clocking out and will do the paperwork in the morning,” Tim offered.

“Your staying?” Lucy asked a little too excitedly, “what about Kojo?” she quickly added.

“Tamara called several hours ago and offered to give him dinner, take him for a walk and put him to bed.”“She saw the fire on the news and rightly assumed we’d have our hands full,” he finished.

30 minutes later they all sat in the sand around their makeshift beer fridge. Shoes, socks and button up shirts discarded and pants pulled up to their knees. 3 flashlights were in the middle of the group, pointing skyward, their handles buried in the sand. They laughed as they went around and told stories.

“How is it still this hot?” Lucy asked a while later.  It was after midnight and the temperature had yet to even consider dropping below 90. 

She pulled her white t-shirt away from her skin fanning, herself. 

“I’m going swimming,” she declared ready to stand up.

“Your going swimming? Right Now? In that?” Tim asked gesturing to her cotton tee and woolen pants.

Lucy shook her head. “I was just going to go in my underwear but now that I think about it I don’t really want to have to drive back to the station in soaking wet underwear.”

Tim nodded as if this is what he expected but Lucy didn’t see him and continued.

“I guess I’ll just skinny dip,” she concluded.

Tim managed to both spit out and choke on the sip of beer he had just taken.

Everybody else’s faces were turned towards Tim and wearing amused expressions but they were saved his annoyance due to the limited light and the fact that his attention was still fully on Lucy.

“What?” She asked Tim, “It’s not a big deal. It’s dark. Plus everybody here has already seen me naked.” 

“Well except you,” she added, which earned another spit take from Tim.

Lucy rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. She loved seeing Tim flustered, especially when it was her doing.

“What?” He finally managed to ask in a strained voice after a few harsh coughs to clear his throat.

“Everybody here’s seen Lucy naked but you,” Lopez offered, “although that was bound to change sometime soon,” she added.

Lucy and Tim both turned to look at her wide eyed. Nolan and Nyla were both hiding smirks and Jackson wore an expression of mainly panic as he spoke.

“She’s drunk. She has no idea what she’s saying,” Jackson offered before turning to look daggers at Angela and whisper something in her ear.

Lucy thought she heard the words bet, interference and disqualified but she couldn’t be sure.

When he finished Angela addressed them again. “Sorry, apparently my tolerance took a nose dive since pre-pregnancy. I didn’t mean anything by that I got you mixed up with Smitty and what’s her face,” she finished waving her hand disparagingly.

“Hmm,” Lucy said clearly not buying her lame excuse but Tim still had his mind on other things.

“Why has everybody else here seen you naked?” he asked, his tone almost suspicious.

Lucy laughed. “Are you jealous?”

He fixed her with his best TO look. “No.”

Lucy suppressed the urge to roll her eyes yet again and answered.

“Communal showers at work,” she began gesturing to Nyla and Angela. “Best friends and roommates” she added pointing to Jackson. “Life gets crazy. Sometimes closing doors or throwing on clothes just isn’t a priority,” she explained seeing Tim’s confused expression. “Also we had to help each other into and out of the bath after we were injured.” She didn’t have to specify her kidnapping or the beating Jackson took to take down Doug Stanton. This group knew. “It’s kind of ironic that when everything hurts all you want is a warm bath but when everything hurts it’s nearly impossible to get yourself into and out of a bathtub,” she finishes. “Oh and Nolan and I used to date.” She says it as almost an afterthought, super casual. But all the former TOs still look at her with shock.

“You and Nolan?” Nyla asks with a laugh. “Really?” “No offense,” she adds addressing Nolan.

“Ah, none taken?” Nolan replies, clearly confused by her reaction.

“When?” Lopez asks looking between the two P2s.

“For a couple months while we were in the academy. We called it off shortly after we started at Mid-Wilshire,” Nolan supplied.

“Wow, I just can’t picture it,” Angela continued shaking her head.

“Why would you want to picture it?” Tim spat. Then seemed to catch himself and schooled his scowl back into a blank expression.

“Why’d you call it off, anyway?” Angela asked. Half actually curious. Half just trying to do her friend a solid and take the attention off him.

“Bishop warned me that dating a fellow cop would brand me and could ruin my career,” Lucy answered and thought she saw Tim flinch. It was impossible to tell for sure with just the flashlights, nevertheless she added, “Somethings matter more-“ she was staring right at Tim now “-are worth the gossip, the assumptions, the risk.” As she said it she saw his expression change but she couldn’t read it. “But our relationship wasn’t one of those things. We’re better as friends, anyway,” she finished addressing the whole group but looking at Nolan specifically for confirmation.

“Agreed,” Nolan nodded holding up his beer.

“To friends,” Jackson said clicking his to Nolan’s.

“To friends,” everybody joined in clinking their cans together.

“So who’s coming skinny dipping with me?” Lucy asked as she started to make her way back to the vehicles where she could leave her clothes in a place where they’d stay sand free.

“I will,” said Angela, “pregnancy and caring for a baby really makes modesty go out the window. The two beers I’ve had don’t hurt either.” She began to follow Lucy to the cars.

“I’m in,” Jackson offered, “with you two practically glowing in the dark nobody will even notice me.” He teased as he got up to join them, earning a playful shove from Lucy.

“Nobody’s here to see anything anyway.” She retorted.

“Go ahead. I might join you later.” Nolan said and Nyla and Tim nodded in agreement.

10 minutes later. Lucy, Angela and Jackson’s clothes were inside Jackson and Lucy’s shop and they were out in the ocean. It dropped off quickly so they weren’t that far away from the beach even though the water came to just below Lucy’s shoulders. After four days of blazing heat and the fire on top today, the cool water felt like heaven to her. She dipped and dove through the water, relishing the cool and wiped at her face and hands to remove the soot that had coated them earlier. Beside her Angela was trying to show Jackson what her son does when they put him in the water. This led to reminiscing about childhood summers spent at the beach or in backyard and community pools. And before they knew it they were playing old games from those days. John and Nyla had joined them by this time. Claiming some combination of escaping the heat, joining the fun and more beer as the motivation. They were currently having breath holding contests.

“I win!” Jackson exclaimed as he came up for air to find everyone else already up.

“You cheated,” Lucy argued, “I saw you come up while I was still under. I had my eyes open.”

“I did not. Plus it’s pitch black under there you couldn’t possibly have seen anything.”

“Did Jackson come up?” Lucy yelled at Tim who was still sitting on the shore.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t watching,” he replied casually with a slight shrug.

“Yes you were,” Angela argued, “you haven’t taken your eyes off Lucy since she got in here,” then realizing what she said she quickly ducked back under the water. 

Everybody still above the surface froze.

Then after a beat. “So did he come up or not. I need to know if I won,” Nyla asked, all business.

“He floated to the surface but didn’t lift his head up. He won,” Tim offered defeatedly.

“Told you!” Jackson bragged.

“Rematch. 3,2,1 go,” shouted Nyla as everybody ducked back under the water. Lucy a split second behind everybody else as her attention was still on Tim. 

She came up about 30 seconds later just as a wave was passing by her and managed to swallow a good serving of water. She coughed and sputtered but before she knew it Jackson and Nolan were beside her and she was assuring them she was Ok just needed a bit of time to catch her breath. As she swam towards the shore to rest in the shallows she noticed Tim was just sitting back down and his pants were wet to just above the knee. But she didn’t let herself focus on it.

She swam to just in front of where he sat laying on her stomach on the ocean floor, head just above the water.

“You OK?” He asked shifting his eyes to her for the first time since she swam up.

“Ya fine, just swallowed a little water,” she assured him.

“Looks like you guys are having fun out there,” he nodded indicating the group still farther out.

“Ya the water feels amazing. You can’t honestly tell me that you aren’t hot.” She had meant it literally. He was sitting in above 90 degree weather with wool pants on. But then she realized he had taken off his white shirt and his muscled chest and stomach were currently on full display and the word took on an entirely different meaning. She was thankful for the darkness as it hid her blush but even that couldn’t hide the fact that she was definitely staring. 

“The ladies on the beach the other day will be so disappointed they’re missing this,” she teased gesturing to his bare upper half, hoping to give a probable explanation for the staring.

He gave a short laugh. “Not as disappointed as the meat bags who were wolf whistling at you will be that they’re missing that.” As he gestured at her he finally let himself actually take her in. Her hair was still up in its low work bun leaving her entire back exposed. The upper half of which was completely taken up by a tattoo, he had never seen before, although the light was too limited for him to make out the design. The rest of her body was hidden in shadows except her face which was now free of soot and make-up making her look young and vulnerable. Freckles brought out by the last few days of blazing sun were speckled across the bridge of her nose. Her mouth was twisted in thought and her eyes sparkled in the light of the flashlights. She really was beautiful.

While those thoughts flew through Tim’s mind Lucy was thinking about his comment about the wolf whistlers. That had happened at the very start of their shift and lasted no more than two seconds. Lucy wasn’t even sure they had been whistling at her and she had completely forgotten about it until Tim brought it up just now. Funny that he would remember. 

 They were both pulled out of their thoughts by a sudden commotion further out in the water:

“DID YOU NOT THERE IS NO PIE!”

“DO NOT THERE IS NO DIE!”

“DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY!”

Were being yelled over each other.

“What are they doing?” Tim asked looking at the group out in the water.

They were in a circle. Jackson had just given Nolan a high five then they were under again.

“I think they are playing the guess what I said under the water game,” Lucy chuckled.

Tim was about to reply but he was cut off by “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood” being shouted in unison followed by bickering about who said it first.

“I’m going back out to join them. You going to come?” Lucy asked turning her attention from the group back to Tim.

“I don’t need to be a part of that.”

“Come on Tim. You’re hot and dirty.” She still meant it literally. Really. He was covered in soot. Stupid double entendres.

He raised is eyebrows.

“Just get in the water,” Lucy said splashing water at him to vent her frustration with how flustered she was getting.

He wiped the water from his face and a small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. “Fine.”

Lucy beamed back at him as he stood up and walked back to the shop to discard his remaining clothes then turned her attention back to her friends.

“It’s not Angeles Direct, you’ve already guessed that three times,” Nyla was saying to Jackson

“That’s what it sounds like,” he argued “and it’s definitely closer to that than ‘embroidery period.’”

“That was my first guess. I heard wrong,” Nyla shot back.

“Oh ya cuz ‘and was dressed’ and ‘indoors divest’ were so much closer.”

Any further argument was cut-off by Nolan. “I’ve got it: Angela’s the best,” he said confidently.

“Yes and yes,” Angela confirmed.

“Your turn Nyla.” 

There was a brief silence as they all went back under the water followed by a flurry of screamed “this is stupid.”

“Happy now?” Came a quieter voice beside her and Lucy nearly jumped out of the water. She had been so wrapped up watching her friends she hadn’t even noticed that Tim had made his way back down the beach and was now sitting beside her in the water.

She smiled and nodded. “Aren’t you?”

He gave a non-committal shrug. “We’ll see after I get roped into whatever’s going on out there,” he offered but there was no bite to it. He was even smiling, although mostly with his eyes, as he looked at their friends.

“Well let’s go find out,” Lucy replied as she led the way into the deeper water.

As they approached the group they watched them go up and down and listened to their guesses.

“And further than game”

“Comforters at game”

“Temperatures endgame”

“Stanford is endgame”

“Checkers is a game.” “At least that’s a real sentence”

“Bradford has game?” “That can’t be right he most definitely doesn’t”

Then just as Tim and Lucy joined the group “Chenford is endgame!” Shouted by Angela who upon realizing Tim and Lucy had joined them turned to Jackson.

“This ones not on me it was your sentence.”

Jackson stood stunned for a second looking desperately between Tim, Lucy and Angela then swiftly closed his eyes and yelled “MARCO.”

There was a brief silence then Nolan yelled “POLO” and everyone was swimming away from Jackson at top speed. Everyone except Tim who was giving Lucy a look that said. “See what you got me into? I told you so.” 

But she was busy swimming off with the others, grateful for the distraction. So he rolled his eyes and joined the game. The water did feel amazing although he wasn’t about to admit that to her.

Calls of MARCO POLO and laughter filled the air as everybody took their turn being it: Jackson tagged Nolan who tagged Lucy who tagged Nyla who tagged Jackson who tagged Tim who tagged Nolan who tagged Angela who tagged Jackson who tagged Tim who tagged Lucy. Well he meant to tag Lucy. He reached his arm out and jumped towards her “POLO” but she was closer than he thought and instead of the tips of his finger tagging her shoulder he jumped right into her. He hit her hard and she responded to being knocked off her feet and down into the water instinctively by reaching for the nearest thing to prevent drowning, which happened to be him. So when he opened his eyes her arms were around his neck and her legs around his hips and her face was only about an inch from his own as she coughed up water for the second time that day.

“Are you ok?” He asked moving a piece of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear.

She nodded but continued to cough as he absentmindedly stroked her back.

 “You caught me by surprise,” she breathed “I didn’t know we were playing full contact Marco Polo.”

He let out a relieved laugh, “I’m sorry.”

“A real Tim Bradford apology I never thought I’d see it in person,” Lucy teased earning an eye roll from Tim. This close Lucy could see all the different shades of blue in his eyes even in the dark. 

“It was an accident.”

“So it wasn’t some sort of Tim Test to see how I would handle a fight in the water?”

“No. You got your last Tim test a year ago when you stopped being my rookie.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” she said. “Then again we’ve been through enough for an entire career,” she added as her hand reflexively moved from his neck where it was playing with his hair to the tattoo on her her ribs.

That’s when it dawned on her just how close her and Tim were, pressed together without a shred of clothing between them. She had felt so comfortable and content she hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation and what it could lead to. She was about to put some space between them when his hand covered hers over the tattoo marking her supposed day of death. The day he saved her from being buried alive. Although he would say it marked the first day of the rest of her life. The day she saved herself. 

And the desire to move away died in an instant. 

“I kept it,” she said quietly, “because of what you said.” “Because it’s a reminder that I’m a survivor. And that my team will always have my back.”

Tim was looking at her with an expression more open than she’d ever seen. “I have one of those,” he replied softly lifting her hand up and moving it to rest on his lower left abdomen. She was confused at first but as she felt the skin beneath her finger tips she realized it was scarred. The scar from when he was shot on her second day and she pulled him out of the line of gunfire.

She smiled and looked directly into his eyes. 

“It’s a good thing we have each other in our lives,”

“Sure is,”

She was just about to lean in and close the distance between them when a voice interrupted.

“Hey you two. Keep it PG or get a room. This is a family outing.” It was Nyla.

Lucy laughed as she untangled her self from Tim and in that moment she realized two things. 1) this was most definitely her family and 2) she would very happily come back to the beach. Maybe next time she’d just bring Tim, maybe even as her boyfriend.

[ktheist]

02 — show me yours & i’ll show you mine | m

➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung

➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au.

➙ word. 1.9k

➙ warnings. explicit content. oral (f receiving).

➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05  | 06 | finale | side story 1 |

➙ synopsis. 

“can we have morning sex?”

“not today.”

x

“is that my brother’s shirt?” is the first thing kim taehyung says to you after a whole night of you declaring war against him for choosing his girlfriend over you.

your body clock’s designed in a way where no matter how late you go to sleep, you’ll always wake up at 8 in the morning. the question of whether you can go back to bed or not varies. like right now, when your stomach is grumbling because it’s decided to deem that the spicy carbonara ramen you had has lost its sustaining-abilities.

“uh, is that a woman-choosing, best friend-abandoning human i see?” you say, eyes squinted at said human.

“whatever,” that seems to have taken taehyung’s interest off the creme colored sweater hanging off your shoulders and way past your butt. you could’ve not word shorts when you went out to get yourself a bowl of cereal. mainly because the brothers have a similar habit of sleeping in until the sun’s shining directly into their faces and they’d have no choice but to wake up - that is, in the event that they forgot to shut the blinds.

“what are you doing up anyway?” you ask but it’s a no-brainer because every friday night, kim taehyung and you would never fail to release a week’s worth of pent up frustrations over playing video games until the crack of dawn, “don’t tell me you haven’t slept.”

“unlike some people, i’ve got things to do,” he steals away the bowl of cereal you just finished preparing for yourself, “places to be.”

you can’t even get mad at his brazenness, not when those eyebags make him look like he’ll pass out with one swing of your punch. and you do punch like a girl - besides the fact that you are one, it’s already a settled fact that you’re really not fond of the idea of wasting your energy on something pointless - so you tend to give the least amount of energy for, for instance - if you do choose to - punching kim taehyung who’s walking away with your bowl of cereal.

so you fix yourself a new bowl, savoring it while watching an episode of the tale of nine-tailed and spending the entire morning catching up to the latest episode. it’s only until half an hour past noon, do you strut back into seokjin’s room, noticing the lump under the sheets now shifting with a sign of wakefulness.

“morning!” you greet, hearing the sound of hymns trickling into chuckles as seokjin pushes the sheet off his face and steals a glance at the uncalled for being that’s perched on top of him.

“you’re up early,” he remarks, arms stretched over his head, muscles flexing deliciously.

“can we have morning sex?” you put on your best smile, lashes fluttering in what you hope to be a coquettish manner rather than someone who looks like they have dust in both their eyes.

“not today,” he says but his large hand latches on your right breast, massaging with a expertise before pinching on your nipple and making you jump in surprise.

“ah!”

but before you get to complain, he’s pulling you down and engulfing you into a warm but shirtless hug (on his part at least).

“not fair,” you pout but snuggle closer anyway, forehead leaning against his chest.

but it’s short-lived because thunderous footsteps start echoing in the hallway and sounding dangerously close with each passing second. for a split second, you watch seokjin watch you, panic spreading across his face before your hands instinctively push him away. then the panic dissolves into alarm as he calls your name, accompanied by another timber-like voice that’s shouting out the same syllables.

“___!”

and then your butt hits the ground, then your back and your head at the same time.

“whew chile, that sounds painful, you okay?” taehyung sounds concern, but he doesn’t take any step towards you to further assert your head - you could’ve had a concussion for all he knows!

“um, gee thanks for making sure,” you want to roll your eyes, but you’re too busy rubbing the spot where your head made contact with the floor.

but seokjin, ever the thoughtful person, is already climing over the bed and pulling you up with one heave.

“why are you shirtless?” taehyung suddenly inquires.

 the cozy creme sweater clinging onto your body feeling immensely inadequate as you ice up. he looks between you and his brother, screws twisting in that head of his before he asks another question.

“is that really my brother’s shirt?” his eyes scream concluded assumption.

well, it’s true, but-

“would you give me your sweater if i said i was cold?” you don’t give him a chance to respond, “no. right. so shut up. what do you want anyway? hurry up cause i wanna take a nap.”

“let’s play, the squad wanna go one more round with you before we all go to sleep,” he says, the matter of why seokjin is shirtless or if it’s really said man’s shirt you’re wearing now no longer a matter of importance.

you like how his brain works.

“the fuck? you came all the way here just for that?” you narrow your eyes, as if visually asking him if he knows whether he’s making sense or not but you get up anyway, walking towards your laptop that’s perched on the desk where you left it last night.

your friends greet you with less enthusiasm than they did last night - everyone sounded like they either need sleep or need a fuck. there’s no clear answer to what they need but you guess you’re up for one game.

“alright losers, let’s geddit.” your cheer is met with groans and tired version of ‘wooo’s and ‘yeah’s.

five minutes into the game, you feel a peck on your cheek and a smiling kim seokjin gazing down at you with bed hair and puffy cheeks. the smile you offer him back is fleeting because you have a character to maintain and a team to support. this time, you choose the supporting role while hoseok takes on the fighter role.

once you realize that the figure casting a shadow over you remains still and unmoving, you peek up at him for the briefest seconds to ask ‘what?’.

you’re only met with a higher tug of his lips.

and then he falls down on his knee - and you don’t even have the chance to wrap your head around it when he grabs hold of your ankle and spread your legs apart. lifting your ass up as he pulls down your shorts seem to be a muscle response than your brain actually understanding what’s happening. but by the time it does, seokjin’s face is already buried deep between your thighs.

“wah- yikes!” you manage to divert your surprise to the enemy that came on screen, forcing out a laugh, “th-that was a close one, whew i was about to die.”

“the fuck? you already had 8 hours of sleep what are you messing up for?” taehyung says into your headphone.

seokjin licking a strip up your love nub.

but that doesn’t stop you from retorting, “oh my god, did i tell you to play all night and not sl- sleep?” you bite back, barely managing to end your sentence with a consistent amount of sarcasm when the tip of seokjin’s tongue slips into your entrance.

“okay, okay, we’re all a little sensitive here,” jeongguk, the most competitive and non-losing-accepting out of the five of you actually tries to placate.

oh, you’re sensitive alright.

then he says something about how “we’re a team” and “if you wanna fight, fight the enemy team.” or something. you’re not so sure because you’re too busy clasping your hand against your mouth whilst trying to dish out healing powers to your team that’s fighting a few feet in front of you as seokjin tugs on your thighs, positioning them in an angle where his tongue can reach deeper inside you, so much so that your ass is almost hanging off the air.

“fine,” you almost choke on your supposedly vindictive reply as your toes begin to curl, back arching as the only sound that manages to escape you is a sob-like whimper whilst sparks erupt from the depth of your stomach and course through your veins like sweet, sweet poison.

seokjin kisses the inside of your thigh once your breathing slows down and you’re slumping on the chair like you have no energy left in you. jimin’s voice demanding you to cover for him barely registering in your brain as you click an ability that showers him with a protection spell.

“sorry, got distracted,” you say into the mic simply before hearing jimin’s “it’s okay, nobody died.”

literally.

if anyone of you died, it would’ve definitely been on you. last night, you got away with saying you weren’t in your ‘zone’ but today, your underperformance will be the reason you get kicked out of the squad for good. probably.

and because you’re under fire, you can’t stop seokjin when he slips away and out of the room, leaving you to make up for your mini blunder.

the game lasts a good 20 minutes before the golden symbol of victory flash across your screen and more energetic sheers erupt in your headphones. everyone starts bidding each other farewell and ‘good night losers’s before the headphones go quiet.

only then, do you bound down the hallway and into the kitchen where you know the reason of the sizzling, salivating scent is because of kim seokjin. a still shirtless kim seokjin with his beautiful, broad back on you as he chops something on the chopping board and gracefully pours it into whatever he’s cooking.

“that wasn’t fair - you should at least give me a warning,” you stand with your arms crossed over your chest.

“did the enemy you go against give you a warning before ambushing you?” he asks in a matter of factly, teasing smirk on his lips that makes your heart go flip flop.

he’s never smiled at you like that before.

“that’s- that’s different,” you refuse to back down, “they couldn’t even if they wanted to because the system doesn’t let us communicate with the enemy team.”

he nods whilst stirring the - you’d peeked - fried rice that’s sizzling in the pan, “i did give you a warning.”

“um where?” you can fee your eyebrows knitting together.

“the kiss,” he taps his cheek twice before shutting off the stove, devious smirk playing on his lips.

“i thought that was a bona fide peck!” 

“that’s on you,” he shrugs, pouring the fried rice into four plates, “like namjoon says - never assume.”

“okay, maybe he did say that,” you concur, taking a seat across from him where he places the plate and offers you a fork and a spoon that he took out from their respective drawers under the counter.

“something smells good,” taehyung comes popping out from the hallway, bowl of empty cereal in hand as his eyes light up at the sight of the two other plates placed between you and seokjin, almost as if knowing that the only other thing that coud summon the kim brothers out from their dwelling is seokjin’s cooking.

“i’m starving,” namjoon announces, seconds apart from taehyung’s assertion.

so you have breakfast - or lunch, really - together like you would. just four kids from the same hometown who found home in each other’s presence.

you might’ve found something else that you like in seokjin’s pants - but that’s besides the point.

x

note. and here we go for the 2nd installment! hope yall enjoyed!

taglist. @scalubera​ @aretha170​

[egyptian-sun-god]

Never Have I Ever (mildly critical lens)

1. BIG THING. NHIE is not a show that was made directed at me. Yes it has similarities with my heritage as Indian but I am not American. Not born there nor raised. I am a diaspora Tamilian though, and my schools throughout most of my life have had very little Indians and even fewer Tamilians in them. Usually its just me.  So while there is overlap, Devi and I would have innately different experiences and worldviews.

2. Why is her last name Vishwakumar and her Dad’s name Mohan? Where that coming from. Correct me if I’m wrong, but most to all Tamil people use patronymic's right? Like am I right or am I tripping? Someone correct me. I checked Mindy Kaling’s bio and she took her father’s last name so I might be tripping? 

3. Okay straight off the bat, Devi annoyed the hell outta me. Like no joke...I really dislked Devi. But she’s a traumatized teenager who has no common sense and too much hormones. I’ve seen ppl like her so I’m fairly happy we have a flawed and messed up portrayal of a POC and doesn’t feed into the idea of perfection. But also Devi’s mom is suprisingly lenient to Devi’s disrespect man. like I see why but woowowowowo....she’s uncharacteristically tolerant sometimes. 

Now even though I get that Devi is supposed to be flawed and unlikeable. Because she is immensely selfish and bitchy with shitty communication skills. Devi’s friends forgive her waaay to fast. Like ladies, what are you aiming for? SAINTHOOD? Like at least let her grovel a little bit for being such a bitch. 

4. Love interest. Y’all heard me. WHY THE FUCK IS BOTH OF HER INTERESTS WHITE or at least definitely white passing. Like they did Paxton dirty man. Like was it too much? Was it too much to wish for Devi to have more Indian friends or like an Indian/POC love interest? I feel personally that it is such a weird precedent that has been set with POC centric love stories. And this definitely should be a critic that has come up before. 

You know which love stories resonated with me? Nalini and Mohan. Because it represented the possibility of like marrying someone (going off the assumption they were arranged to be married) and falling in love after marriage. A very real scenario for many many couples. Kamala’s entire shenanigan with Steve and Prasanth and having to choose between the uncertain boyfriend situation but losing family but keeping family and going with an arranged marriage. Also props to Kaling for not demonizing arranged marriages. Please please let season 2 explore Kamala’s struggle more. Hell even that one off thing with Eleanor and the tech crew boy was funny. 

5. Kamala’s whole character was many vibes. Because counting down and stressing about marriage is such a goddamn relatable feeling. I ain’t that much younger than Kamala and let me tell you the anticipation/fear is REAL. And like her talking in Ganesh puja and like weighting the options of being a social outcast or going with the arranged marriage and with the hope that like you’ll find someone cool.

6. I don’t like how Devi tries to reject her Indian culture and I really really hope they develop that next season or something and get her to find a balance. Because at the end of that season she did get a good talking to about trying to be Indian enough or too Indian and finding that balance but it doesn’t feel like she’s finding that balance and her being jealous of the other Indian girl does not bode well for me. 

ALSO THEY FUCKING MISSED OUT SO BAD. You make a series about a Tamil American girl and you don’t name drop any famous stars. Thala Thalapathy, Superstar??? VJS?? Surya? Dhanush? Nobody? Why? Like Devi doesn’t know them...makes sense. But like Kamala is from town right? She has to have carried some of that. Like that scene when she called them for a movie right? Why not name drop some famous ass classic like Baasha or Sachein or Roja? Like a cool nod to the Tamil kids out there watching this series to see parts of their culture and language included. Like even the soundtrack and songs have no Tamil songs? Like not even one for the heck of it?? WHY? IS THAT NOT SO SO MUCH MISSED REPRESENTATION? Like typical Tamil things like making a beat out of random shit, Tamil kuthu songs, Typical Tamil mega serials, food and enjoying food together. Like why wasn’t the food stated or name dropped. 

Personally, NHIE was really really really white palatable and it didn’t really get it into any roots of our culture especially for a girl struggling to find roots as in where she fits. Like you gotta show both cultures and let the audience and Devi figure out where she fits. If you show long Netflix shows like Pretty little liars, show alternatives like mega serials such as Chitti or Mudiyaathu Karuppu or Mettioli? Or if you wanna be more modern name drop Tamil webseries’s? If you wanna show English pop hits, show Tamil album songs and kuthu beats. IF YOU WANNA REPRESENT, THEN ACTUALLY REPRESENT. Don’t pull this generic ass BS on me!

5. I hope the lack of tamil culture in the series gets corrected next season somehow. I don’t have ANY ANY faith that it will. But I can be hopeful. Also I lowkey like that Devi has like a “rival” of another Indian girl. I don’t like that is is rivalry cause brown sisters gotta support each other and that’s sort of been the general motto from where I’m from. But like I get why and it would make complete sense. 

I really really hope that Aneesha is like super super Indian. Proud of her culture and brings a lot of her culture and its facets to discussions and not afraid to make her culture a focal point of herself.  It would be a really good foil to Devi and it might spark some thought into her and accepting or at least recognizing the cool shit about being Tamil. I wanna see that mainly cause I used to be lowkey ashamed for having a strong accent when I speak cause I was made fun of and I didn’t like having different lunches or listening to different music and not being part of the more Western culture. But I learnt to ignore that and became like 3000 times more proud of being Tamil and wore like traditional clothes to school, ranging from kurti tops over jeans at first and eventually wearing full on chudidaars and saris (saris to proms at least, I couldn’t wear a sari on a daily, half sari probably, sari would be hard). Bringing traditional sweets and food and distributing them to anyone who would ask and trading lunches.  Please let me see a brown kid who is proud to be brown and straight up in your face about it at times. 

(Unrelated but to Tamil/Indian ppl who had other Indian/Tamil kids in your school like was trading lunches or like sharing lunches common? Like its a pretty common Tamil thing to do and I brought that culture of taking some of everybody’s lunch and giving everybody a part of mine everywhere I went. But like was that a thing? )

[timothylawrence]

How do you characterize so well, I am under so much stress to write them properly that the rest of the story comes out flat, but you do it so effortlessly and that is amazing

omg wtf this is actually one of the sweetest asks ive ever gotten!!! hello!!!!

first of all, thank you for the compliment ;-;! i'm always unsure of my characterization and interpretation, so it really does mean a lot. I kinda explain my process under the cut so if this was just a compliment and you weren't actually asking you're welcome to skip it got a little lengthy sorry 😭 THANK you so much for being such a sweetie.

my biggest tip really is to study the source material as much as you can. For the tales gang, I never interacted with fandom until literally last year- I only ever referred to canon and the source material. Fanon had absolutely no touch on how I wrote them and even with things that take place post-tales, I try to take sure that the original characters can still shine through.

For example, with my post BL3 Rhys, I use both canon BL3 stuff and Tales (I favor tales characterization for obvious reasons). We see Rhys throughout tales to be emotional and borderline hot-headed at times. he has moments of idiocy and moments where it's just plain stupidity, but we also see him shine through as smart. You can sort of chalk up a lot of 'stupid' moments to him just being straight-up inexperienced with Pandora cause, and the key here, he's never been on the planet.

So for my future writings, I always make sure that Rhys is never really displayed as stupid- because he's not. He has moments that come off as silly or stupid, but never is he as a character such.

Spoilers for my Timothy coming to Atlas fic, but when Timothy shows up, Rhys is emotional at first! He's angry that someone like Timothy had the audacity to show up and he's defensive because he's scared. But then, very quickly, he's able to put the pieces together and realize that just like Fiona had said, he was a victim too. He's able to find a place for him to stay and figure out a lot of things really quick. He's emotional and smart -> just like you see in Tales, look at the scene where Jack is about to kill him, he has a moment of emotional 'lapse' before he's able to finish him off once and for all. (Different scenes entirely, but you get my gist.)

Now, there's some exceptions to this rule and mainly I apply it to... weak and bad writing. Biggest example for me is how I write Katagawa. Again, if you're unaware, his entire character is built on a foundation of racism and fetishization. In order to combat this, I rip all of that horrible shit out and see what I'm left with- and in this case, I see (and the lovely @katagawajr pointed these all out to me) a 20 something year old guy with a barcode on his neck and a history of familial neglect-> you see he reaches to Rhys for brotherhood because he believes the man "worthy" to be such because of his drive up the corporate ladder (see: ingrained thinking from being born into a literal company). From this point, I can make safe assumptions and kinda dig my heels into his character that you can (hopefully!) see in my writing.

You say it comes out flat and I think my biggest tip for that is to add less personality in the writing and more in the action and backgrounds department! Less "X was angry" and more "X crossed their arms, tilting their head with a furrow of their brows". When you add more emotion that way, it can help the fluidity of your writing.

Sorry, I ranted a little!!! But yes, I think it's really important to study the characters you want to get down right. Read up on the wikia, on deleted lines, watch cutscenes and really study who you're writing. As always, fanfiction is meant to be fun :) You can define the lines yourself and take my advise, but please remember this is a for fun thing. No one is judging you and no one is critiquing you but yourself. So try to keep that in mind.

much love as always <3

[mass-effect-galaxy]

Games I Tried To Love But Failed

You know this, games you looked forward to because they were hyped, or because they seemed to be interesting, or because they had something to do with other games you loved, or whatever? And then you quit them because... reasons.

Here are my latest:

Greedfall

from 2019. Total playtime 3.8 hours.

I was quite intrigued by the setting: a fantasy game not set in some Middle-European 13th Century setting but in a colonial 17th Century, complete with sabers, pistols, monsters, and magic.

To me, it failed to deliver. The graphics and animations look like a game from the Dragon Age 2 generation, which is some 8 years earlier. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I love DA2. However, DA2 even got the facial animations better.

Controls are wanky with no way of changing them on the controller and causing issues, like not being able to complete the tutorial, when changing them on the keyboard.

The worst thing, and the reason I quit, was the voice acting. Everybody was speaking very slowly (probably a result of issues with the facial animations) without any emotion or even emphasis to speak of. Given that in the first two or so hours you are delivered the lore by endless monologues, it bored the crap out of me.

Tomb Raider

from 2013, total playtime 4.4 hours

After doing a lot of Tomb-Raider-ish stuff in Assassin's Creed Odyssey, I wanted to give the Tomb Raider series a try. But I quickly learned that these are not my kind of games. Jump-and-run, shooting wolves with arrows: okay. Sneaking around and shooting bad guys with guns: okay. Cutscenes without dialogue choices, tons of NPCs I don't know but expected to care about: hmmm. Endless action without slowed-down exploration or such: no fun.  Quick-Time-Events that don't really work on PC and force me to play through those sequences a good dozen times: no way!

Control

from 2020, total playtime 2.6 hours

Control is the one game that I quit because it was too good: too good in creating a horror atmosphere. I felt uneasy the whole time and happily quit (and never returned) after a jump-and-run sequence I kept on dying  time and again.

The Witcher 1 and 2

from 2008, total playtime 5.2 hours, and 2011, total playtime 16.6 hours

(for comparison, total playtime Witcher 3: 344.8 hours)

I bought both games mainly because it annoyed me that, in The Witcher 3, I kept on running into NPCs that I was supposed to know but didn't. I expected them to be characters from the other two games, so I dived into them. Wrong assumption: Those characters mostly were from the novels and they pulled the "memory loss"-card in The Witcher 1. This can work, as it did in KOTOR, but it didn't here.

The Witcher 1 really is a bad game with graphics that weren't up-to-date even back in 2008, painful-to-watch animations, awkward mechanics, and sometimes hilarious voice acting. A streamer once called it "suffering through that game". It's basically what you should expect when buying a 14-year-old Eastern European B-game.

The Witcher 2 turned this upside down by showing graphics that were too much to handle for most PCs of that time and (mostly) reasonable game mechanics. I quit because I found it too difficult. We have extremely hard boss fights early on, and no proper quest logging, which often leaves you running circles with a vague "somewhere to the south" for hours. In general, this game broke my number 1 rule for games: "the moment it stops being 'fun' and starts becoming 'work', I am out."

So, what's your Hall of Shame?

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

The Lost Boys with an s/o having an anxiety attack + fighting depression would include~

(Not my gifs) (Requested by anonymous)

(As a warning: I’m not really experienced in these things so apologies if these aren’t incredibly accurate or what you wanted.)

David~

Panic Attacks~

- Now David tends to let you wander around on your own when you’re out on the boardwalk though as much as you seem to stray from the boys, he never seems to be far away when something happens. So as much as you may feel like you’re alone when everything starts to become too much, I assure you you aren’t. 

- Chances are you didn’t tell him about your panic attacks yet even if you did he’d react pretty much the same. He often doesn’t do something immediately even if he feels as though somethings wrong, not wanting to overwhelm you if there’s really nothing wrong.

- If he’s aware of whats happening, then he’d act fairly quickly once he see’s that you’re acting strange, making his way over to you and/or asking whats wrong to see if his assumptions are true.

- If it’s his first time seeing you have a panic attack; with no prior knowledge of your condition, than he’d most likely just watch you, silently waiting for an explanation or for you to cave and tell him something. 

- He kneels/leans down to your level when things are obviously getting bad, becoming more commanding when asking whats wrong before his voice turns sweet as sugar, trying to persuade you to speak/lure you out of it. 

- As the leader of a vampire pack, Davids seen a few panic attacks in his day though before you, he most likely wasn’t aware that people could just have them without much of a reason or because of a less than dangerous situation. 

- He doesn’t let anyone near you when you, getting you to the nearest secluded area he can while blocking you from view. 

- He’s fairly good at calming you down, soothing you with his words and letting you do whatever you need to do to stop panicking: i.e. dig your nails into your hand, hide your face, cling to him, take deep breaths, hit something, etc. 

- He usually tries some kind of distraction on you, getting you to focus on whats around you, grounding you to reality. 

- Once you’re semi-able to focus, he starts to get you to breathe correctly, praising you with every other sentence. He takes the time to finally ask if you’re alright but usually waits to ask what happened until you’re further away from the place, not wanting to make you think about it while you’re still vulnerable; if it is a trigger that caused it. 

Depression~

- David hates seeing and/or knowing that you’re upset but he doesn’t want to smother you. He isn’t an expert in mental health but he understands that you’re just going to have days where you feel like shit for no good reason and days where you feel alright. 

- He doesn’t make a big deal out of your condition unless you disappear for a few days, mainly because he knows that there isn’t much he can do to make you feel better. He may be able to temporarily cheer you up but other than that you just have to fight it by yourself. 

- When you do disappear for a few days, he’d visit you once the sun goes down, practically breaking into your house to; usually, find you in bed. He’d take a moment to fiddle with your things, watching you for a while before sitting down on your bed and jostling you awake. 

- He’d brush the hair from your face, stroking your cheek and asking you how you’re feeling before either pulling off his boots and sliding into bed beside you or ushering you to get up and move a little. 

- He’d ask if you wanted to talk about it, more so implying that he wanted you to more than anything though he doesn’t push it if you’re unable to or just really don’t want to. 

- David has a way of making people do things that they wouldn’t normally do. Even if you think that it’s impossible for you or someone else to make you join the living; so to speak, you’ll be amazed at just how much he’s able to get you to do for yourself. 

- If he managed to get you up then he’d suggest going for a ride on his bike, intending to get some adrenaline in you to; hopefully, get your blood pumping and give you a little more energy. 

- David is good at keeping his emotions under control; he isn’t scared off by people lashing out at him, especially someone like you. While it definitely does bother him when you say things out of anger; usually things you don’t mean, he takes it in stride and understands it isn’t really you saying those things. 

- Rant and rave all you want, he isn't going anywhere. Pushing him around wont work either; he’s going to stay until you wear yourself out and admit that somethings wrong, then he’s going to help however he can. 

- He gets more sentimental and touchy when your depression flares up/when you’re feeling particularly low. There’s just something about seeing you feel so awful that makes him cherish you even more. It certainly helps having someone show you just how loved you are.

Dwayne~

Panic Attacks~ 

- Dwayne rarely lets you out of his sight so he notices when somethings off almost immediately. He’d watch you closely before softly asking you whats wrong, beginning to worry as you seem to be struggling more and more; though for your sake, he remains outwardly calm. 

- He ushers you to somewhere quiet without another word or follows you closely as you begin to walk there yourself, practically pushing people out of your way. 

- Although he isn’t a very hostile person, he isn’t afraid to get aggressive when people won’t leave you alone. He doesn’t have the patience to deal with any onlookers when he’s helping you, no matter what they’re there for. 

- Initially, he would keep his distance, not wanting to overwhelm you with his presence though he’d immediately move closer if you wanted him to. 

- Dwayne; like David, isn’t completely clueless when it comes to people experiencing panic attacks though he’s experienced in anxiety for a different reason: Laddie. While a little boy’s fear is far different than a panic attack, it does give your boyfriend a little leverage when it comes to dealing with scared people or people in a fragile state. 

- He’d be rather good at soothing you, quietly assuring you that you’re alright and that everything is okay while you ride through the storm; though he does tend to keep his comments to a minimum, not wanting to add on to the ringing in your ears. 

-  He treats you very gently; unless you urge him to do otherwise. He see’s this side of you as very delicate and fragile, and doesn’t want to inadvertently harm you or make things worse. 

- Once you begin to come to, he’ll ask if he can touch you, puling you into his arms as soon as you allow him to and pressing soft kisses to your forehead. He’d finally ask if you’re alright, the worry beginning to show in his voice as he checks you over closely. 

- He’d insist on getting you a drink and maybe something simple to eat, helping you stand up and/or straighten yourself out. If you don’t want to move right then, then he would stay with you until you were ready to go, perhaps asking one of he boys to get you something while he stands with you.

- If it’s your first panic attack in his presence, then he’d insist on knowing all the details and how he can help when you’re more calm. You’ll never have to tell him twice, he memorizes it verbatim so that he’s prepared when you go through one again.  

Depression~

- Dwayne is particularly good at knowing when somethings up. He can always tell when your depression has reared it’s ugly head no matter how good at hiding it you think you are. 

- He understands what depression is though you’d have to explain some aspects of it to him. When you initially tell him about it, he’d immediately be concerned, assuming that something had to have happened to you, not that your brain could just... do that. He isn’t sure whether he should be glad that nothing serious happened to make you feel this way; it just feels like a rotten thought no matter how well-meaning it is. 

- Since Dwayne is good at telling when things aren’t going good, you rarely have to suffer in silence. Though he knows that there’s often little he can do to help; he’s going to do whatever he can. 

- Oftentimes, he’ll do things for you without even being asked nor thinking of it as a big deal; even if it is to you. He doesn’t expect any thanks or anything, he just wants to make things easier for you.

- He’d be incredibly patient with you, helping you go about your routine and taking care of you. He’d make sure you ate or drank something, get you to wash your face and put on some new clothes before attempting to do anything else. 

- He would definitely lift you out of bed or wherever you were, carrying you off to do something that will help you help yourself. You may hate him in the moment but you’ll realize that it’s for the best later on when you’re feeling at least a little better. 

- If there’s something Dwayne does best: it’s staying quiet. Yell, rant, rave, throw things; whatever you want to do, he’ll stand there and let you, though he has a tendency to wrap his arms around you and hold you until you mellow out. He’ll find a better way to help you release all that frustration, he doesn’t want you accidentally hurting yourself or causing someone to call the cops. 

- He grows more protective over you when he knows you aren’t in a good head-space. He wants to make sure that no one takes advantage of or upsets you even further. Seeing you like this allows him to see just how strong you are yet also how... mortal; fragile in a way. 

- While Dwayne does enjoy his usual nightly activities with the other boys, he doesn’t mind spending a calm night in with you either. Just want to sleep? That’s fine by him. Don’t worry about ruining his night or wasting his time; you could never. 

- He isn’t much of a talker but you probably don’t mind. It’s nice having someone be there for you even if being there for you is just sitting with you for hours without any expectations. The point is that he’s showing his love and support for you and that’s welcome more than anything. 

Paul~

Panic Attacks~

- You know when your pet knows somethings wrong and will start checking in on you, either worriedly peeking at you while keeping their distance or trying to nuzzle at you and get you to act “right”. That’s Paul. 

- Paul isn’t the most observant so he won’t notice that something’s up until it’s pretty obvious, like when you get up and leave without a word or grab onto him. He’ll initially respond in his usual good-humored fashion before he sees your face or as you refuse to stop for him while he follows you. 

- It’s when he realizes somethings actually, really wrong that his smile drops and he becomes concerned, trying to get you to talk to him and/or assure you that everything's alright. 

- He refuses to leave you alone once he understands whats going on though he’s torn between staying by your side and getting one of the other boys who would actually know what to do. 

- Seeing you so “upset” pains him but he forces himself to watch you closely while attempting to get through to and calm you down. He wants to make sure you aren’t dying which he completely believes is happening for like the first minute or so of your attack. 

- He takes the same approach as a babysitter who doesn’t know how to stop a baby from crying; attempting to distract you with things and hoping something will catch your attention enough to bring you back to reality. 

- Paul would be the most outwardly and internally worried. He’d panic himself though he’d try to remain calm in an effort to help you become that way. You know how hard it is to try and model how someone should breathe when you want to hyperventilate yourself? Paul now knows.

- He’d really want to hold you but wouldn’t push it; he’d immediately stop if you showed any signs of discomfort with it. He’d scoot away but would try to stay as close as he could, his hands itching to touch and physically comfort you. 

- He wants to help in any way he can so you just say the words and it’s done. Whatever it is you need, he’ll get/give, no matter the cost and without question. 

- Once you come to, he’ll keep calling you pet names, asking if you’re alright and cuddling up to you once you let him. He really wants you to explain everything but he lets you take your time catching your breath and really calming down. 

Depression~

- Once again, Paul probably wouldn't immediately notice, especially if you’re good at pretending to be fine. It wouldn't be until you stopped answering your phone and disappeared for a while or broke down in front of him that he would finally see that something was wrong. 

- He’d initially think that you hadn't been getting enough sleep because of him and his lunar cycle or that you were physically sick; like with a fever or something. He’d ask you if you were alright, feeling downright awful for you. 

- You’d definitely have to explain it to him. Paul is the least likely out of all of the boys to know what it is or more so understand how it worked. Before you, he just thought that depression could only happen after something terrible happened like the loss of a loved one. Even after you explain it, he probably still wouldn’t quite understand but he’d understand enough. 

- He’d still try to get to the bottom of why you’re upset; for lack of a better term, wanting to know the reason; if there is one, and how he can help you. 

- He always innocently asks if you took your medication; if you do take any. He doesn’t understand exactly how it works but he does know that it’s meant to help you which is why he asks before trying anything else. 

- His next course of action would be to drag you off and take care of you: brushing your hair, washing your face, getting you something to eat, dressing you in fresh, comfy clothes, etc. He’d be a little more serious than usual though he’d still keep his usual sweetness, a little smile always tugging at his lips. He doesn’t like seeing you upset but a part of him enjoys being able to take care of you, to be somewhat needed by you. 

- If you just want to “sleep it off” then he wouldn’t argue with you. You know what’s best for you so sure, he’ll stay with you while you rest, holding you tight and taking the time to admire your features. He doesn’t mind doing nothing, he’s just happy being by your side. 

- Please try to avoid lashing out at him, it breaks his heart. If you want to yell then he’ll take you somewhere no one will see or hear you. Get it all out and raise hell if it will make you feel better, he’ll do it with you. 

- It certainly helps to have someone around who can momentarily cheer you up even when your body screaming at you to feel miserable. Even if he can’t get you to smile, having him around is better than surrounding yourself with things that will only make you feel worse. 

- Every time he comes to see you when you’re depressed, he’ll tell you he loves you about a hundred times. He just really feels the need to constantly let you know, hoping that that will help you in some way. 

Marko~

Panic Attacks~

- Marko acts before he thinks most of the time so he’s prone to springing into action without having any real plan. He won’t immediately understand why you aren’t looking too hot but he’s going to find out which may; initially, only succeed in making things worse from time to time. 

- Once he realizes that you aren’t in any shape to explain things then he’ll soften his approach, coaxing you to calm down and telling you that everything's alright. It’s not far from what you’d do when trying to lure in a frightened animal. 

- Though he’s seen a few panic attacks; being a bloodthirsty creature of the night and all, he isn’t experienced in handling or trying to fix them. Anytime he’s seen a panic attack, it’s over in a minute because he’s killed the person who’s panicking. 

- He grows extremely protective of you, ensuring that no one comes anywhere near you while you attempt to calm down. He’s more than ready to threaten or throw someone if they won’t move away. 

- Believe me, if he knew somebody had caused you to have to “go through that”, he wouldn’t hesitate to find them and get rid of them, even if they had no way of knowing. He’s furious once you can actually explain to him what happened. 

- His go-to method of dealing with an attack would be to bring you to the beach and drag you into the cold water in an attempt to shock you back into reality. If he knows you wouldn’t want to completely go inside then he’d bring you to the edge, dipping your hands into the water or splashing some on your face. 

- Once you’re alright, he’d pull you into his arms, defying the urge to hug you tight as he rubs your back. He’d assure you that everything's alright, maybe even cracking a little joke to try and ease the tension away though he’s still quite worried himself. 

- He wouldn't push you to explain anything right then an there but he wouldn’t let you out of his sight for the rest of the night, checking in with you every time you seem just the least bit unhappy. 

- He’d urge you to drink and would want to take you home, thinking it best to get you in bed instead of staying on the boardwalk or wherever else you are. If you refuse to go home; even after he tries to argue with you, then he’d reluctantly let you stay; though he’d relocate the two of you to a quieter area. 

- Once he knows of your condition, he’ll try to keep you away from the more alarming situations the boys get themselves into; i.e. killing or aggressive adrenaline-junky activities, not wanting to spur another attack. He’d still be wary even if you explained that he didn’t have to worry about that sort of thing. 

Depression~

- Marko comes to see you for a little while just about everyday so it wouldn't take him long to figure out somethings the matter. Why don’t you want to go out, why do you seem so tired, why does your smile seem forced, etc. 

- He’d ask you if there’s something that’s upsetting you, just in case there was a reason but would understand if you don’t have one. After he gets his answer, he’ll ask you what you’ve been doing, mainly to see what needs to be done. 

- It may be hard to imagine Marko at a library but he does his research once you tell him whats up. He’s going to understand whats going on with you and find out the best ways he can help. 

- He’s used to running errands for the other boys so if you need something, don’t hesitate to ask him. He’ll never mind so don’t worry about inconveniencing him. 

- If he knows that something will help you then he won’t take no for an answer, you can be annoyed with him or complain all you want; he doesn’t care. All he cares about is making your life better even if you don’t appreciate. 

- If you need to take out some frustration then just let him know, he’ll take you to some junkyard he frequents and smash shit with you. He’s hot tempered himself so it’s best if you try not to snap at him; even though he knows it’s not “you” talking, he can’t help but get a little aggravated. 

- Even if he can’t fix things, he can at least make you feel a little better, right? He’ll throw some comfy clothes at you, get you some good food and crack some light jokes in an attempt to make you crack; at least, a little genuine smile. Would seeing his pigeons help? 

- He makes little deals with you when trying to get you in a better place. You do this and he’ll do that sort of things; compromises that seem pointless but put you on the right track. 

- Want him to just hold you? How can he say no to that? He understands that it’s hard and that sometimes it’s best to take a long break; hide out from the real world for a little. Even though he usually prefers more wild activities, he can’t deny that he likes just laying with and cuddling you. 

- He never lets you be too hard on yourself. Whenever you call yourself weak or “jokingly” apologize that he has to see you “like this”, he’ll tell you he loves you no matter what and to cut yourself some slack. You might not feel like you are but he thinks you’re incredibly strong and is rooting for you harder than you can ever imagine.