#Made a personal little list
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Time for Inktober and a doodle a day!
Here's to me succeeding with the challenge for once!
#Adventure in Art#Dusk Hydrae#Inktober 2024#Made a personal little list#in hopes it will keep me more interested#so some things aren't ffxiv related#but a lot is!#just gotta remind myself...#to keep it relaxed
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so i got bored and made another uquiz. which subtle way of saying "i love you" are you?
#warning: i'll make you psychoanalyse yourself before i psychoanalyse you in return#so good luck lol#uquiz#personality quiz#quizzes#i recently made a little list of all the tiny ways i tell people i love them & it seemed like really fun quiz material#so here we are :)#on love
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Edwardian outfit complete! 🥰 I'm so happy with this look!!
Skirt and waistcoat: GibsonGirlDress (etsy) / Blouse: Lace Garden / Corset: Lucy's corsetry / Boots: American Duchess / Accesories: Aliexpress
#Nips photos#personal#historical fashion#edwardian#I made a little GRWM sort of video too 😊 I'll share it later#I can't wait to wear this out when the weather gets colder!!#I made a bunch of new outfits too I'll share later and hopefully show some of my husband's too if I can get him to dress up when it's 35ºc#I listed the shops under the cut btw!#nips blogs
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What I love and what's heartbreaking about Diasporic languages (e.g., Ladino, Yiddish, ect. ect.) is that I see them as languages of survival. Survival of jewish culture and communities, survival of people in lands that were too often opposed to their very existence. These languages are beautiful to me because I know it's am yisrael chai is irrevocably true, heartbreaking because the Diaspora can be such a hostile environment.
And I don't think this is what many people (non-jews especially, when we're talking about jewish diasporic languages) get. Languages such as diasporic languages exist in context of survival. It's such a complex feeling I have, because I love these languages, and at the same time know why they often had to exist.
#jumblr#jewish politics#jewish diaspora#personal thoughts tag#also it hurts when i look at the list of Diasporic languages and see (extinct) roght after it#because i can only imaging what made those languages extinct and it's just sickening#this is part of the reason i want to learn yiddish. i see it as a complex language of survival#plus yiddish is what i've seen most people in my area speak and know#i wouldn't be opposed toward learning other Diasporic languages though#but since i've learned a little german before yiddish is kind of easier for me#ladino might actually be the second Diasporic language i learn actually.......
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Okay poll of things I Should Be Working On
#the person behind the yarn#I have so many things on my I should make this list#that it's getting a little overwhelming#I gotta get some of these done and off my list#if my friend I promised a tabletop mini quilt to is reading this: I have not forgotten#it's just caught up in the quilt I made for you#in that somehow in my head I got them tied together#where I want to finish the quilt first#and then using the backing scraps to make the mini quilt?#WAIT if I use plain fabric for the backing I can make the mini quilt a trans pride flag#that would be a lot easier#I might do that instead
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lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn
#not to list my woes again but today was Pretty Bad#the horrors: learned that one of the girls I'm working with is the cousin of the boy whom I was so torn up over last year (lol)#received a message from the second boy I was torn up over in the spring saying: do you want to live together? (LOL)#and was hit with the two-by-four of reality today about my own Delusions and such repeatedly over the head. over and over and over LOLLLL !#HOWEVER. the joys: tea. Bible reading time. lots of prayer. laughed a lot with my coworkers.#confided in a friend whom i know can hold secrets close. listened to another friend's voice message on loop. the rain made it not too hot.#i know joy cometh in the metaphorical morning but i wanted joy to come in the form of dancing and singing and worshipping together#and being able to tell each and every person goodbye properly and with the gravity and love they each deserve#i simply!!!!! cannae take this!!!!!! and yet I WILL :'))))))))) bear it with grace#(THAT'S dramatic)#sighhhh anyhow i'm currently mentally digging a little grave for the third disappointment in love i've experienced#since breaking up with my ex boyfriend. the ground is hard my hands are tired and the earth won't budge but i WILL dig that grave#and leave that little ill-formed ill-judged ill-managed love in it#dang i'm tired in all senses of the word!#and YET. there is still a part of me that is light and buoyant and determined to make the most of things#it is so hard to be miserable when the anneish part of you never dies.........sigh#healing girl era summer '24
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making a christmas wishlist for family is so wierd cause my closest family members don't really know my interests that well
#shrugs#then again i have very niche interests#it's that time again where my SIL asks if I've made a list and im like...... sorry i haven't had the time yet to construct a list of-#Normal Things A Person Should Put On Their Wishlist#and not a list that is like.... 'a replica of little joe from bonanza's hat' or 'discontinued toy from 2006'
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personally i think the best way to look at this election in terms of "who am i (as a viewer) going to vote for" is that first and foremost, for us, this is a STORY. we are watching a story (and also a fun game and funny people doing funnies together, but for election purposes we'll say that)
therefore our goal should not be "which candidate has the best policies" or "which candidate is best for the island". we don't CARE. that's not our business.
we don't care what's good for the islanders. THAT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS. we're not islanders nor are we players. we are the guy in the bar watching the Truman show. our business is "what story do we want to see?"
each candidate offers something different.
(note: i don't claim to understand their platforms, for personal reasons i haven't followed it closely bc i kinda suspected there was gonna be drama and didn't feel like stressing myself over minecraft politics; my local elections freak me out enough lol)
for a rough example:
elquackity: obvious federation plant, clear enemy for the rest of the server. man-vs-government arc.
forever: did you like cellbit's infiltration arc? i could predict something like that following in forever's footsteps (forever sneaks around the federation, learns a few secrets, continues to make his changes to the server but does perhaps experience horrors, most likely a slower burn than cellbit's arc but certainly a lot of espionage and theorycrafting)
gegg: gegg chamg e world
those of y'all with a sounder grasp on candidates, sound off in the notes on what we can expect FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE; i actively ignore the debates (they make me want to cry lmfao). i don't care what their platform is exactly, where will it take the story?
and i'll repossess your liver if i see any goddamn cc hate or harassment in there. this is more than not a safe space for that, this is an active danger zone. watch yourselves. <3
#qsmp#qsmp elections#qsmp discourse#hopefully that covers it lmk if we're tagging other things for filtering#whopper whopper whopper whopper junior double triple whopper IS THIS YOUR IP ADDRESS YOU ARE NOT SAFE TONIGHT I AM COMING FOR YOU AND YOUR F#shut up vic#block game brainrot#personally the story i want to see would come from forever's presidency but from the minute elections were announced i resolved not to vote#has made the arc wayyyy easier for me to tolerate bc the way my heart sank when it was announced#have i mentioned lately how sick i am of overzealous fans ruining things?#there's a reason i've sent maybe 4 things in a twitch chat ever (and they were all in bad's somehow?)#but yea first and foremost qsmp fans need to recognize that we're not part of this#some people don't seem to recognize that#have all the fucking opinions your little twisted hearts desire but don't put that shit on the cc's like it's their fault#it's a story. cry about it.#(this policy has exceptions but you'll have to use your own discretion to list them)#(i believe in you <3 i can't list all the -isms lol)
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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Teensy little doodle
Clowntober day 2! Today’s theme is ‘Jester’! I would do a LOT more if I could, but I have a massive maths test tomorrow and I NEED to study so bad for it
#I’m not proud of these at all. They literally took like a minute#But I simply don’t have time to draw something nice#TOMORROWS WILL BE BETTER TRUST ME#spoof's doodles#clowntober#(Not tagging the person who made the prompt list this time because I’m a little embarrased of this one lol)
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burgeon employing 'natural insect hunters' which essentially means animals like bluebirds, as well as owls + frogs to control the amount of pests in his garden (which is honestly a HUGE place and has a spiral staircase + this is where you will find it most of the time) because he refuses to use pesticides is honestly... kind of iconic of him when you don't think about all of the atrocities it has committed JSJSJ i mean, because there have been studies done to show that they negatively affect other thing's besides insects themselves, such as the soil of the plants you are putting it on itself and non-target plants along with other creatures.
so you better bet that blamore has some thing's inside his garden that attracts these animals and he treats them kindly. and now that i've mentioned it, i suppose his appreciation for nature is one of the better qualities that blamore possesses — though i think it's bitterness towards humanity in general has still very much left him feeling lonely, and just having the occasional animal as company is not sustainable for it. which i think is part of why blamore has forged a bond with nico morselli because he is one of the few people who he can trust will not cringe at the sight of it / think less of it because he is vastly different from the person he used to be.
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#ALL DARK ALL BLOODY MY HEART: character study.#so yeah... needless to say if he catches anyone who he has not explicity invited over to his greenhouse than it will be more than a LITTLE-#peeved. man's will be liable to at least kick them out on their face in fact because this is HIS sanctuary and it's not meant for anyone-#else + burgeon is so resentful towards humanity that he fears if it were to invite another person into it's life that it would ruin-#everything he's 'built' so-to-speak because it took him quite some time to at least become somewhat comfy with who he is now and the only-#people he loved (aka his father and erich) were killed and didn't approve of his plan to sort of 'wipe the slate clean' in erich's case so-#he's got a LOT of complex hatred towards humanity that was made through perceived betrayals and as well as very real ones.#not to say that i'm condoning him wanting to torch gotham to the ground ofc bc that is HORRIBLE but i'm just trying to explain why he is-#the way he is now.#and honestly... i didn't include thérèse or his mother in the list of people he has ever loved because although he DESIRED for her-#to love him the unfortunate fact of the matter is that she basically did not want him and treated him like trash all throughout the time-#he spent with her even though every kid deserves good parents. however not every parent deserves kids
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Resolving patb fandom drama after like 4 years is really interesting and I can honestly say my favorite thing I was consistently accused of is being in my 30's which is both factually correct and not a crime.
#like unironically on my list of wrongdoings#Some rando who knows when patb first aired: This bitch 30 >:0#me: yaes#second favorite is probably along with why my art is morally wrong they also like to give a little technical critique#'and it's eyebleedy'#how could I have made such a crucial error. If only I used more earth tones....then I'd be a good person for sure.
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man this playlist........ is. So. to the left of the vibes
#heart2heart#like not that im shocked when playlists made by random ppl on spotify etc are like somewhat off interpretations versus my personal-#-takes on characters but sometimes its a little funny for Just How Off it feels at times#theres so much like semi creepy like darker music on this list and im like......... wheres the balance tho this me isnt edgy enough for all#-this metal and shit with nothing else breaking it up really
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it
#re:kinder#not art#so in my case i once saw someone talk about it in a video and some scenes with the very vague context really struck with me#i was like wow...that is so sad... i wonder what goes on#but the thing is i watch videos talking about games like that ALLL THE TIME while im multi-tasking so i FORGOT FOR A YEAR?!?!?#until one day i was sick in pain on my bed could not move. and then it came to me. yes. “RE:KINDER. I SHOULD PLAY IT.” LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE#i will never understand how i dying of pain remembered a game i saw once BY NAME AT LEAST A YEAR LATER when jve heard of so many games#and you wanna know why it stuck with me. i saw in the video an image of the “as if id be reborn as a princess” line#i did not know the context but it was devastating#AND WHEN I PLAYED THE GAME when that scene game i was shocked to silence😭😭 BECAUSE I BASICALLY WENT COMPLETELY BLIND??#I DID NOT KNOW THE LITTLE KID WOULD BE THE ANTAGONIST???? AND THAT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A SAD STORY??#like. i saw the sad coming i knew it was bound to happen yet i could have never been prepared for how hard it would hit me#I HAD TONS OF FUN but at first when i finished it i was so confused and so lost i was like welll.....what a game... TOO STUNNED FOR WORDS#then i thoughr of it for 20 minutes and bawled my eyes out and realized it was art#so when i got to my second playthrough i CRIED LIKE CRAZYYY😭😭 I WAS BLOWN AWAY IT REALLY HITS YOU#personally it admittedly hit close to home and while it made me bawl my eyes out it was also very comforting i felt very understood#AND IT WAS CRAZY FUN TOO i was not bored once the first time i played through it i was sleepy but i was so excited to keep playing😭😭#its funnt becayse i was initially apprehensive about playing cuz im sensitive to stories where sad things happen to kids#but i played it regardless because i was like “but what if its one of those scary media that hit close to home and i enjoy”#AND I WAS RIGHT. BUT NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD HIT AS INTENSELY AS IT DID😭😭 IT WAS MYCH MORE THAN EXPEVTED#many ways in which it impacted me but if i started listing them i would not shut up . so for now it is enough#IN SUMMARY WOW.. WHAY A GOOD GAME!! PLAY RE:KINDER!!!#i rambled more than i intended to i do apologize
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Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday
Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!
Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,
And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!
Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!
I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.
#venting#work stuff#she quit at the end of june#two of my coworkers and I are sorta filling in for her role while a replacement is searched for and all that#i know she put in a ton of orders before she left so I'm hoping things start to trickle in#i haven't gone thru the order submissions in detail yet to see what we're expecting#but i'll be doing that later this week#as it is today was dealing with a mess of half unpacked shipments#and correcting little mistakes here and there and leaving instructions for coworkers tomorrow#gotta say i was so... disappointed hunting for those books#i looked at the sad selection of nonfiction and self help stuff I'd found and was like. yeah i think I'd be offended#if i saw these titles all grouped together for the pride display. it just felt bad#i made a halfway decent arrangement for the children's section but it took a lot of title research#and even then like half the titles i saw in recommendation lists looked so cool and i would think#surely we should have THIS one bc it looks like the sorta thing Buyer would have ordered and it seems neat as hell!#but. uh. we would have no order history for it.#hhhrrhhrhrhrgh if i see absolutely nothing in the orders we will be expecting#I'm gonna order a bunch of books#and try to plan out the next couple of monthly themes#hmph! even if I'm not the books person I'm still gonna put in SOME effort!!
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