#MY RAJILA HEART | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Everybody Knows You're High, 4/4 (Rajila) - Dartmouth420

Summary: It’s not just the weed this time, Raja’s in love, and Manila’s about to make a confession.

A/n: this is one long-ass chapter of feelings and lesbian porn lmao. this is specifically for the anon from a few weeks ago who requested manila smut, here ya go :P also thank u to V&albatross for your encouragement and for letting me play in your world lol <3

tw: weed, mild second-hand embarrassment, smut: 80% sexy, 20% disgusting, 100% dumb ;)

Manila stood in her steamy bathroom leaning against the edge of the sink, with a towel wrapped around her body, and stared at herself in the mirror.

Last night had been… a lot.

She’d just gotten out of the shower, and there were dark circles under her eyes from the late night, the stress and the hangover. The hangover wasn’t as bad as Manila thought she deserved. Chugging straight vodka from the bottle in a state of emotional turmoil had been a terrible idea.

However, a part of herself that she’d been suppressing for too long was raising its head, this time with hope. Parsing out what Raja had been trying to say last night had practically required a cryptographer, but Manila was like eighty-seven percent sure that Raja had said she liked her, and was interested in… maybe dating. Or something. It all got a little blurry after she’d kissed Raven.

Manila stuck her tongue out at herself in the mirror and left the bathroom, walking quickly down the hall in her towel to her room to get dressed. She examined one of her nicer shirts, and that corduroy mini-skirt she liked, and then decided not to get her hopes up. She pulled on a pair of dark blue sweatpants with the college’s name written across the butt. But her hand lingered over her one of her nice bras, an elegant black one with red lining, and after a brief but eventful internal wrestling match, she put it on. And covered it with a T-shirt and a hoodie.

After having breakfast, drying her hair, scrolling through her phone, cleaning the bathroom, killing time and receiving no texts from Raja, but not sending any either, Manila put her hands on her hips and sighed.

Manila had two choices. She could go across the street and actually talk to Raja about her feelings, or she could drop out of college, move to Canada, change her identity, burn her fingerprints off with acid and start again as an entirely new person.

Despite the strong temptation of option two, Manila chose option one and rushed out the door before she could psych herself out. She hurried up to to the familiar house across the street and a few doors down. Manila took a nervous breath as she knocked on Raja’s front door, immediately regretting that she hadn’t texted or something before just showing up. Maybe Raja wasn’t awake yet, or maybe she didn’t want to see her after she’d been so messy last night-

The door opened and Raja stood there. Her long black hair was wet and brushed straight like she’d just showered, and her loose, green linen shirt was damp where the ends sat on her shoulders. She looked suspiciously fresh and clean for the day after a party, but then Manila remembered that Raja had been sober the entire time.

“Hey,” said Raja, with a goofy, knowing smile.

Manila’s palms began to sweat, and her heart leapt out of her chest and prostrated itself on the floor.

“Uh- hi,” said Manila.

Raja stepped aside and Manila walked in to the living room, slipping off her shoes and glancing at the familiar couch. An empty bag of chips and a couple loose video game controllers sat abandoned on it. Usually she’d go right in and sit down, but that didn’t quite feel right today. Carmen’s voice drifted over from the kitchen, one half of a conversation she was having over the phone.

“We could talk in my room?” suggested Raja, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. Her deep brown eyes were without expectation.

“Sure,” said Manila decisively, and walked quickly to the stairs and up to Raja’s bedroom, the first door on the left.

Raja’s room always surprised Manila. The first time she’d seen it she’d expected a total stoner disaster zone, but instead it was surprisingly neat. There was a beautiful piece of blue and gold paisley fabric tacked up on the wall, some clothes piled up on the back of the chair, and several mugs on the nightstand. Books, her laptop and some weed paraphernalia were scattered on the desk, but the floor was clean and the bed was pretty much always made.

Manila sat down on the edge of the bed, and wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. Raja sat down next to her, close but not touching.

“So…” began Manila, drawing out the word and wondering what exactly she was going to say. She didn’t want to be the first to admit her feelings. Part of her still felt afraid, instinctively evasive when talking about how she felt. “You like me, apparently.”

“Yeah,” laughed Raja, amused, flipping her damp hair over her shoulder, “Yeah, I said that.”

“Mm,” acknowledged Manila, already a little flustered by how Raja had just openly admitted it, like it was that easy. Everything was so easy for her. “Are you mad at me for kissing Raven?”

“For like a minute last night, but uh, it seemed more like you were mad at me, actually.”

“Yeah, I was kind of upset-” said Manila, and hesitated. Talking openly like this was outside of her comfort zone and she felt too warm and too awkward and… she would rather all of this be a big joke, to laugh it off again and hide how she really felt behind the humour.

“I’m sorry I decided to make that joke about you missing your opportunity when I was trying to be all serious or whatever,” said Raja quickly, all in one breath, “That was really stupid. I really did mean everything I said, except for that part.”

Manila nodded, the hurt rolling back over her for a moment. The feeling of rejection had been awful. But maybe that was how Raja had felt the first couple of times Manila had rejected and mocked her for expressing interest.

“It’s okay,” said Manila, cracking a smile, “You are incredibly stupid after all.”

“But I’m still getting better grades than you,” replied Raja, raising her eyebrows and grinning.

Manila looked at her hands. Raja was next to her, but she felt simultaneously closer and farther than she’d ever been. They were steering out of familiar territory towards something Manila both hopelessly longed for and horribly feared.

“I didn’t do anything with Yara, by the way,” confessed Manila, the words spilling out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“What, really?” replied Raja, cocking her head to the side.

“Yeah I lied about that, she and Alexis love each other so much it’s gross,” said Manila, rolling her eyes. “I thought you’d been acting differently around me, so I… said that.”

“They do seem to love each other a lot,” confirmed Raja, nodding, a sneaky grin growing on her mouth, “You wanted to see if I got jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe in jealousy,” sniffed Raja imperiously, “Love should be free.”

“You’re such a fucking hippie,” said Manila, shaking her head, amused, “And you were jealous, you were stomping around like a six-year-old having a temper tantrum.”

“Fine, maybe a little,” acquiesced Raja, with a laugh. “You were really winding me up, though!”

Manila laughed as well, following the shift of energy between them into lighter territory. She twisted her fingers in the sheets on Raja’s bed for a moment, and sat up straighter, looking at Raja carefully. Raja’s green linen shirt draped elegantly over her tall, angular frame and it suited her nicely, despite the damp shoulders from her hair. A curl of interest announced itself in Manila’s core.

“So, uh,” said Manila, regretting her decision to wear sweats and wishing she’d at least tried to look nice. Raja’s expression was open, but her shoulders were a little stiff, almost nervous. Manila wanted to ease the tension, she wanted Raja to be comfortable around her again, and get rid of this stupid distance she’d built up between them.

Manila decided she was going to be brave, and asked, “Do you still wanna make out?”

Raja blinked in shock and then grinned and gave a happy little shrug, and said, “Yeah, totally.”

Before Manila could stop herself, before she could let herself think, she leaned in. Raja did the same, and shifted closer to her on the bed, pressing their legs together. Manila hesitated for a moment, the tension between them burning hot, more intense and awful than it had ever been, before Raja brushed her lips over Manila’s and they captured one another in a soft kiss. A high-voltage thrill shot down Manila’s spine, turning to instant, uncontrollable heat between her legs.

Raja’s confidence was contagious, and Manila kissed her back, tentatively parting her lips and tasting Raja with her tongue. Raja touched Manila’s waist, her other hand going to the back of her neck and tangling up in her hair. Manila’s body was taking over completely, the thrill drowning out her every doubt.

Raja was very pleased with how the morning had progressed so far, as Manila broke their kiss to push her down on the bed, a look of pure, unadulterated desire in her eyes.

“Oh, hello,” purred Raja as Manila straddled her, and Raja shifted a little so that she was at a better angle, her head propped up on her pillow. Manila lifted her hoodie up over her head, and the plain T-shirt undershirt underneath hiked up so that Raja caught a glimpse of her toned stomach before Manila threw the hoodie to the floor. Raja’s breath quickened, and she fumbled at the buttons of her shirt. She was so happy that this was finally happening, that Manila wasn’t angry with her and seemed quite interested in being more than just friends. There were so many fun directions this could go-

“Hi,” breathed Manila, leaning forward and quashing Raja’s efforts to get her shirt unbuttoned. Manila kissed her again, this time taking charge in a way that Raja found very sexy indeed. Raja caressed her waist through the thin fabric of her shirt. Manila stroked Raja’s still-damp hair, her hands exploring Raja’s scalp as they made out thoroughly. The smell of Manila’s lavender conditioner filled Raja’s nose.

Manila ducked her head, going for Raja’s neck. Raja sighed, gasping when Manila introduced her teeth to her skin. Oh, this was excellent, this was lovely. Manila was so much more than Raja had expected, and pleasant excitement filled her mind. Raja’s hands drifted from Manila’s waist down her back to grip her beautiful, muscular, college-logo-emblazoned ass.

Fuck yes.

Manila laughed quietly into her neck, pausing for a breath, and rolled her hips against Raja. Raja pushed her thigh up a little to give Manila something to grind on, if she wanted to. Even the hint that Manila was truly letting her guard down and trusting Raja like this was very exciting-

Manila breathed in sharply, her face still pressed into Raja’s neck, and rolled her hips again, and Raja felt Manila’s warm body through her thick cotton sweatpants. Raja took her opportunity and lifted her head slightly, kissing Manila’s neck in return, still gripping her ass and encouraging her to grind against her thigh.

“Raja-” breathed Manila as Raja kissed what must be a sweet spot. Raja couldn’t wait to learn all her sweet spots.

Manila sat back, pulling Raja with her so they were both sitting up, Manila still straddling her lap.

“Can I…?” murmured Manila, touching the buttons on Raja’s shirt.

“Yeah, for sure.”

Manila fumbled to undo Raja’s shirt buttons and Raja kissed her neck again. Now that they were sitting up, Raja touched Manila’s lower back and guided her to keep grinding on her thigh, since they were in an excellent position for her to do so. Manila bit back a little moan, visibly distracted from her task and it sent a tingle throughout Raja’s entire body. Manila was getting so hot and bothered already, and they were still practically fully clothed.

In fact, Manila’s hips were moving quicker now, rocking against Raja’s thigh, but she finished with the buttons and pushed Raja’s shirt back down to her elbows, then blinked with surprise.

Raja wasn’t one to wear a bra unless it was absolutely required of her.

“You can touch me,” whispered Raja, kissing Manila’s ear.

Manila did, gently palming Raja’s small breasts, and continuing to roll her hips. Now Raja could really feel the heat between Manila’s legs and let out a surprised half-moan herself as Manila caught her nipple between her fingers. Manila’s expression was hazy with lust, as she bit her lip and rutted down even harder, and Raja was almost surprised that Manila was so turned on by this minimal amount of contact.

“Is it okay if I-” said Raja, and touched the front edge of Manila’s sweatpants.

Manila nodded semi-frantically, and Raja went for it, reaching past her waistband to feel how gloriously warm and wet she was, even through her underwear. Manila moaned aloud, and ground down against Raja’s fingers and Raja, absolutely thrilled, slid her fingers inside her underwear.

Manila inhaled sharply at the skin-to-skin contact, rolling her hips hard and fast and clutching Raja to her. Raja decided to go for more, gently slipping two fingers past her folds and up into her soaking wet pussy-

“Oh my god, fuck-” managed Manila.

Manila’s back arched and her hip thrusts became erratic, quick, and she let out another barely suppressed moan, burying her face in Raja’s neck, panting hot breath against her skin, clenching around Raja’s fingers with a sudden gasp-

Suddenly Manila stopped moving, she pushed herself back. She flopped backwards off of Raja’s lap onto her ass and covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide, her expression utterly surprised and embarrassed.

Raja realized what had happened.

“You are so into me,” stated Raja, unable to resist the urge to tease Manila for it, wiping her fingers unceremoniously on her sheets and laughing. “You came from just that? Really?”

“Don’t,” whined Manila, covering her face with both hands and curling up into a ball.

“We’ve barely been going for five minutes-”

“It’s just been a while for me,” complained Manila, her voice muffled behind her hands, “I’m sorry…”

Raja crawled over to her, taking her hands away from her face and kissing her.

“No need to apologize, you’ve got more where that came from, right?” asked Raja with a grin. The dull ache of Raja’s own arousal was still present between her legs.

“Yeah…”

“Great, hopefully this time I’ll get to actually take your clothes off.”

“Only if you ask nicely,” replied Manila dryly, sitting up. She looked slightly less embarrassed, pushing a few stray curls back out of her face.

Raja kissed Manila’s face again, unable to stop herself from smiling, smug. It seemed like Manila did actually like her, or was at least very, very attracted to her. Raja appreciated the vindication, and imagined the afternoon ahead. It looked like they’d be spending it here, making out and having sex, and taking a few breaks for food and weed, and that seemed most excellent.

“What do you want to do?” asked Manila. She reached out and hesitated, before running her fingers across Raja’s collarbone and then down her arm. Raja vaguely remembered her shirt, which was mostly off, open with the sleeves caught around her elbows. She took it off entirely. Raja was comfortable with her body and didn’t mind being naked, especially when it was making Manila so distracted.

“I want to…” began Raja, before shrugging, “Actually, I just want to roll a joint and share it with you, if you’re into that, and then eat you out for like forty-five minutes.”

Manila laughed and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, let’s get a little high, it won’t hurt.”

“It might even help you last longer…” teased Raja gently, not that she really cared. If Manila got off so quickly and easily, then Raja would gladly spend the entire day making her come over and over and over-

“Stop!” protested Manila, but she couldn’t help her smile.

Manila was so embarrassed that she’d pretty much finished immediately from the barest of contact like a desperate, touch-deprived lunatic, but luckily the feeling was fading. Raja didn’t seem to mind, despite her gentle teasing.

Manila had surprised herself more than anything. She was usually a bit… well, stiff maybe wasn’t the right word, but during hookups or sexual encounters she wanted to make sure she came off as sexy and fun, and that she did everything right. This was always particularly strong in her mind when she was with guys. But what was right was a vague and every-changing notion, a bit of a performance, kind of acting like girls did in porn except more chill, and trying to read what the other person liked and expected of her. It was difficult to relax. Certain walls always remained up.

But not today.

Today, Manila had completely melted the second her lips had touched Raja’s. Her body had taken over, unmitigated. Tasting Raja’s neck, grinding on her thigh, touching her skin and feeling her hard nipples, and Raja slipping her knowing fingers inside of her had made Manila feel so alive-

Maybe this was what it was supposed to feel like.

They had the entire afternoon ahead of them, so Manila lounged on Raja’s bed in her sweatpants while Raja got out a jar of weed and a grinder, confident and relaxed and wonderfully topless.

“Ugh, I left my rolling papers in the living room again,” sighed Raja, leaning over to give Manila a lingering kiss that sent a thrill right down her spine again, “I’ll be back.”

With that Raja got up and strolled across the room, opening her door-

“Don’t you need a shirt?” asked Manila.

“Nope.”

Manila laughed as Raja left and padded down the stairs. Her voice drifted up from the living room.

“Hey Delta.”

“Hey. So it’s a tits out kind of day?”

“Yeah, have you seen my rolling papers?”

“Over there.”

“Thanks! Did you hook up with that guy last night?”

“Yeah, and he was surprisingly good in bed-”

Manila tuned out the conversation, remembering her nice bra and wondering if she should just take her clothes off now and maybe fix her hair and find some way to recline on the bed so she’d look hot when Raja came back up-

But then Manila realized Raja didn’t care about that, and that really, she didn’t either. Manila lay back down on her side, breathing in the smell of Raja’s pillow. It smelled just like her hair, and honestly, Manila would be totally happy just to exist right here in this moment and never leave it. The voice in the back of her head chimed in, you know you still haven’t told her how you really feel-

“-yeah, she’s up in my room, I think we’re figuring it out.”

“Oh thank god! You’ve been stressing about that for ages. So that’s why you don’t have a shirt on…”

“Yeah, we might get kinda loud, so… sorry in advance.”

There was a smug evil to Raja’s voice, and Manila couldn’t help but feel smug as well. She imagined what exactly she could do to make Raja get loud…

“I was planning to go to the library anyway, bitch, I’ll send the bat signal to Carmen.”

Manila smirked at Delta’s sarcasm.

“Love you too!” sang Raja in response, and then Manila heard Raja’s footsteps on the stairs again. Her heart beat faster in anticipation. She should probably tell Raja about her stupid feelings. Raja had confessed her own, and while it was all still a bit vague, things were changing between them. Hopefully for the better.

Raja reentered the room, and flopped down on the bed next to Manila. Manila sat up and watched as Raja put a few weed buds into her little grinder and ground them up. Then she balanced a rolling paper in her palm, and carefully tipped the weed into it. Raja’s tongue darted out and wet the paper before rolling it into a cylinder, and something stirred in Manila’s core while she watched. Raja still wasn’t wearing a shirt, and Manila couldn’t help her eyes lingering. Of course this too was easy for Raja, she didn’t seem self-conscious about her body at all. Manila was always a bit in awe of Raja’s effortless confidence.

The joint was ready before Manila knew it, because when it came to weed Raja was nothing if not efficient. The sun outside broke through the clouds and streamed in through the thin curtains on Raja’s window, hitting the side of her face, and she was so beautiful that Manila’s breath hitched with disbelief. Raja brought the fresh joint to her mouth, grabbed a lighter from her bedside table and lit up, breathing in deeply with a contented sigh.

Raja passed Manila the joint with a suggestive smile, and Manila took it, putting the filter between her lips and drawing in a deep breath, the gentle smoke seeping deep into her lungs.

“I-” said Manila, passing back the joint and coughing, “I should probably tell you something.”

“Mmm, what?” replied Raja, taking another hit and leaning in, nuzzling Manila’s neck.

“Uh,” continued Manila, now very distracted by the feeling of Raja’s luxurious lips on her warm skin, the slightly smoky air and the joint that was now in her hands again. Did she even want to tell Raja she’d been idiotically in love with her for like two years? Would it ruin everything?

Manila took another pull and blew the smoke out into the air, while Raja kissed her neck and snuck her hand into her shirt, tracing her waist with delicate fingertips.

“I’ve actually,” whispered Manila, noticing with interest the way Raja had pressed herself into her side, her nipples getting pointy again, “I’ve actually been into you for a while.”

“Really?” purred Raja, without stopping what she was doing. It felt really good. Manila passed her the joint and Raja took it, turning away from her neck only momentarily to inhale the sweet smoke.

“Yeah,” said Manila quietly, desperately wanting to make it all a joke, somehow, worried her confession would completely freak Raja out. But maybe it wouldn’t. “I’ve kind of had a crush on you like since we met.”

Raja pulled back from Manila’s neck. But instead of laughing at her, or looking awkward and pushing her away, Raja’s expression was open and curious.

“No way,” said Raja, cocking her head to the side, “Even that time I got those fireworks from my dealer, and we accidentally lit that tree on fire?”

“Yeah?” replied Manila, confused. “I mean, Delta was the only one with the wherewithal to call 911, but we survived.”

“Even that time I spilled coffee all over your good white shirt?”

“Yes,” said Manila, flatly, recalling the incident. The shirt had never recovered. And the burn had hurt.

“Okay, but what about when I was too high in the grocery store a few weeks ago-“

“All of the times, Raja!” exclaimed Manila impatiently, practically squirming with the discomfort of having confessed her feelings, “Every dumb thing you did, I still liked you. So I, I don’t know, maybe that makes me the stupid one.”

“Nah, you’re like the smartest person I know, other than me,” chuckled Raja affectionately, taking another drag on the joint and exhaling the smoke slowly, so that it drifted up around her face, ethereal, “I’m learning so many cool new things about you today.”

“Well,” sputtered Manila, defensive and insecure, “I don’t know if it’s cool-“

“It totally is,” continued Raja, utterly confident, “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Because, you know,” shrugged Manila, taking the offered joint and hoping it would calm her down a little, “You obviously prefer casual hookups or whatever, and I couldn’t really stand being just that to you- I just didn’t want to have to say it was totally fine and chill if you didn’t like me back-” Manila paused with horrendous panic, “I mean, you do feel the same way, right?”

“Yeah, I-” said Raja, her face suddenly shifting into to an expression that normally appeared when she was trying really hard to beat Manila at Super Smash Bros, “Wait, so you thought I’d think you were too intense or something?”

Manila passed her the joint and looked away, already knowing that she was too intense, that her feelings were nothing other than a humiliating mess and always would be. Well, she thought wistfully, it had been nice while it lasted…

“Manila,” sighed Raja, and Manila looked back at her and Raja was smiling, and blowing smoke into her face, “I can’t predict like the entire future, you know with the Mars colonies and stuff, but I really like you. Maybe you like me a little more than I realized, but that’s good because I thought you weren’t into me at all. So like, it’s cool. Let’s just see where it goes?”

Manila nodded, as her heart beat faster and she felt herself blush. She supposed she’d just have to trust Raja, and herself.

“But you really fucked up with Raven when you two were dating,” stated Manila, unable to stop her doubts from surfacing.

“Well… ” said Raja, hesitating, and then she sighed, “Yeah, I did. The whole relationship thing was her idea and I went along with it because, well, I wanted things to be easy… but I should’ve found a better way to end it.” Raja paused, and took Manila’s hand, weaving their fingers together and squeezing, “I feel super differently about you, and about this. We’re friends first, right, before anything else.”

“Okay, yeah,” murmured Manila, plucking the joint, which wasn’t much more than a tiny roach, from Raja’s fingers and inhaling deeply, burning it right down to the filter. It seemed like Raja was genuinely on the path to some kind of self-awareness.

Manila reached around Raja to stub the end of the joint out in the decorative glass ashtray, and then let the smoke out through her nose with a giggle. Raja laughed along, and Manila finally began to feel the relaxed buzz under her skin. Getting high was nice, no wonder Raja did it all the time… Manila leaned in and kissed her again. Raja kissed her back, her hands going immediately to her waist again, pushing up under her shirt to touch her skin. Manila stroked Raja’s hair, and delicately held the back of her neck. Raja was already topless, but Manila was getting very interested in taking Raja’s shorts off as well…

They just had to trust one another, figured Manila, and maybe everything would be turn out alright.

Raja was happy and relaxed now that she’d had some weed and they were making out again. Manila had seemed stressed when she’d admitted her years-long crush, and while Raja was certainly a little surprised, more than anything she was pleased that her instincts had been right. It was making the strange new feeling in her chest glow a little brighter. But maybe that was just the weed.

“I want to take your shirt off,” murmured Raja. She’d seen Manila out running in her sports bra enough times to be real curious about what was underneath…

“Yeah, go ahead,” said Manila, moving her hand from the back of Raja’s neck down to her chest, running her thumb over her nipple in a way that sent a jolt of interest directly between Raja’s legs. She tugged Manila’s shirt up, and Manila lifted her arms and was momentarily caught with her shirt under her chin and around her elbows and Raja laughed at her and eventually they got it off.

Damn. Manila looked good, cute and toned and was wearing a suspiciously nice bra…

“You knew this was going to happen today, didn’t you?” said Raja.

“I might have suspected something,” said Manila with a smirk, sitting back on her butt as she easily tugged her sweatpants off of her legs.

“You’re so sneaky.”

“It’s my tragic flaw.”

Now that Manila was just in her underwear, the animal part of Raja’s brain kicked in. In an instant, Raja wanted to kiss Manila’s entire body, fuck her thoroughly, cuddle all night, move in and have a baby together, raise a bunch of feral kids and dogs, run a full-scale weed grow-op out in the country somewhere and just chill in the glorious California sunset until the end of time. Hmm. Raja decided that odd little fantasy was definitely just the weed talking, and took off her shorts and throwing them over the side of the bed, revealing her plain blue cotton underwear.

Now, that they were both pleasantly stoned and significantly more naked, things were starting to get interesting. Raja scooted closer to Manila, and ran her hands up her legs, letting out a weird gremlin-like giggle.

“You so don’t get to accuse me of being the horny one anymore,” chuckled Manila, taking Raja’s face in her hands and kissing her.

Raja sat back and pulled Manila into her lap, taking her time to kiss her. They explored one another, gentle and stoned. Raja stroked her way up Manila’s smooth back, her fingertips extra sensitive, and felt the band of her bra, reaching to undo it.

“Wait, don’t,” said Manila, and Raja’s hands stilled. Was something wrong? But Manila hadn’t pulled back, in fact she was pressing little kisses on Raja’s face, and kissed the shell of her ear in a way that sent a shiver throughout Raja’s entire body.

Raja dropped her hands to Manila’s hips and had a brilliant idea.

“Turn around,” suggested Raja into Manila’s ear.

“Mm, why?” replied Manila, shifting to kiss Raja’s neck.

“Because it’ll be fun…"

Manila laughed at her reasoning, and turned around so that she was sitting in Raja’s lap with her back to her. Raja immediately hugged Manila close, pressing her naked chest into her back and taking the opportunity to nip at her neck, eliciting a little yelp.

Raja ran her hand up Manila’s stomach touch her chest through her bra. Manila ’s breath hitched in response, and Raja took that as a positive sign, and reached up to ease her bra-straps off her shoulders.

“I don’t want to take my bra off,” stated Manila and Raja stopped again, trying to hide her disappointment.

“Do you not like being touched there?” asked Raja, momentarily nervous that she’d overstepped an invisible boundary, as Manila twisted in her lap to make eye contact.

“No, I like it, but,” said Manila, and hesitated.

“But?” asked Raja, in what she hoped was a gentle way, planting a little kiss on Manila’s shoulder.

“I just don’t like people looking at my tits.”

“Why not?”

Manila hunched a little, looking uncomfortable, and said, “Uh, this girl in middle school used to tell me they were a weird shape and I’ve kind of never gotten over it.”

Raja glanced down at Manila’s chest. Her breasts were contained in what was a truly nice bra and Raja found nothing weird about her body whatsoever.

“Well, fuck that bitch, she can die,” said Raja, in full seriousness.

Manila burst into laughter, “What, you’re gonna murder some girl from my seventh-grade gym class?”

“Yeah, what’s her name?”

“Jenny.”

“She sounds basic, I’ll shove her into traffic.”

“That’s very sexy of you but I’m still not taking my bra off,” chuckled Manila, blinking slowly. Her eyes were a little bloodshot, but her body was relaxed with trust again, leaning back into Raja. Raja wrapped one arm around her waist and squeezed her close. As badly as Raja wanted Manila to be fully naked, she respected her wishes.

“I went to alternative school on what was basically a gay hippie commune,” murmured Raja, gently kissing the spot behind Manila’s ear, and tracing her fingers down her stomach, “There wasn’t really bullying. We all made flower crowns, ate quinoa, studied beekeeping and Buddhist philosophy, it ruled.”

“No wonder you’re so weird…” sighed Manila, with a little gasp as Raja ghosted her fingers over the sensitive skin just above the edge of her black underwear.

“Yeah, but you like me anyway,” purred Raja, now running her fingers over the distinctly damp fabric between Manila’s legs and then kissing her neck again. Manila shuddered and let out a whine, the sudden note in her voice that reminded Raja of how easily turned on she was. “And so do most bees.”

Raja shifted a little so Manila was more comfortable in her lap, and Manila spread her legs and Raja stroked the inside of her thigh, moving slowly closer to her centre. Manila didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, and after a moment of confusion she rested them on Raja’s arm across her waist.

“You’re like really hot, you have nothing to be insecure about,” murmured Raja in her ear, resting her head on Manila’s shoulder and wondering how she felt about praise and dirty talk.

Manila whined and arched a bit, trying to press into Raja’s hand. Then she turned her head, catching Raja’s mouth with her own in a sudden, intense kiss. Raja kissed her in return, and Manila reached back, tracing the back of Raja’s head and stroking her hair with a loose, exploratory hand.

“You’re definitely the hot one,” chuckled Manila, “But I really need you to start touching me, like right now.”

“Ask nicely,” purred Raja.

“Hmm…” hummed Manila, drawing it out, and then, her voice breathy and demanding, whispered, “Please?”

Raja’s own breath caught hearing her beg, and she immediately slipped her fingers past the waistband of Manila’s underwear, finding her clit in no time and stroking her with slow circles. Knowing how very sensitive Manila was, Raja went about her task with utmost delicacy.

Manila’s hand grasped into a fist in Raja’s hair on the back of her head and she arched her back and moaned aloud. It seemed she was lot more expressive after the weed and the conversation about their feelings. It sent electricity directly into Raja’s core, and she squeezed Manila to her with her opposite arm around her waist. Raja couldn’t help but increase her pace, Manila’s reactions were so exciting.

Raja slipped her fingers down lower, stroking experimentally over Manila’s folds to feel her utterly soaking wet pussy. Yes.

“Do you like this?” asked Raja.

“Yeah,” breathed Manila, tilting her head back to rest on her shoulder.

Raja slipped her fingers inside of her once more and Manila tried to rock her hips for more friction but Raja held her in place and began to move her fingers, agonizingly gentle, teasing and testing for the right spot that would make Manila lose her mind.

Raja found it, and Manila bit back a broken moan, her body jerking forward a little as she grasped Raja’s arm around her waist, her fingers digging in. Raja kept going, rubbing against Manila’s clit with the base of her thumb and pressing her fingers inside her, hitting the spot that made her react, again.

Manila panted and gasped, arching her back, and Raja kissed her shoulder. There was a sheen of sweat on her cleavage from the warm, sunlit room that Raja really wanted to lick, but she wasn’t in the right position to do so. Oh well. This was also very good, Manila’s wetness was dripping all over her hand as she gasped and rutted down with her hips.

“I’m- I’m getting close,” gasped Manila, digging her nails into Raja’s arm.

Raja then decided to something utterly evil.

Raja stopped, and slid her fingers out of Manila entirely.

“Wha-” panted Manila with desperate frustration as was she left on the cruellest edge, “Why are you-”

“Lie down on your back,” said Raja, letting go of her Manila’s waist, a plan forming in her mind.

“You are the worst-” complained Manila, and she shakily got out of Raja’s lap and crawled forward, giving Raja an excellent view.

“Have I ever told you that you have a fantastic ass?” commented Raja, shifting up onto stiff knees and cracking her neck in anticipation of the task ahead of her.

Manila glanced over her shoulder with a pouty, false-innocent look that set something inside of Raja on fire, and then she flopped down on her back, propping herself up on her elbows.

Manila looked so beautiful laid out like that that Raja paused for a moment just to admire her, the sheen of sweat on her chest, her messy hair, her blown-out pupils and the look of intense arousal on her face.

“Are we going to be here all day?” challenged Manila, pouting.

“Wow, someone’s a little brat,” teased Raja, leaning down and kissing Manila’s stomach.

Raja quickly hooked her fingers in Manila’s underwear and pulled them down her thighs as Manila lifted her hips to help. Then Raja lay down on her stomach between Manila’s legs and ran a finger over her wet, sensitive pussy, amazed by how turned on she still was. Raja couldn’t help but be flattered by the physical effect she had on Manila.

“When it’s my turn I’m going to make you suffer,” said Manila, but her threat was very much undermined by the broken moan that left her as she arched her back and bit her lip as Raja stroked her again.

“Ooh, I can’t wait,” smirked Raja, heady and pleased.

Raja ghosted gentle kisses around her thighs and her lower belly, and then laughed as Manila practically growled at her. But she wouldn’t make Manila wait much longer, Raja ran her tongue experimentally over her folds, the taste and sensation firing constellation-like synapses in Raja’s mind. Manila let out another whimper as Raja swirled her tongue around her clit.

Mmm, pussy.

Raja went to town, spreading Manila’s legs a little wider and adjusting the angle of her neck to stay comfortable. She built it up, keeping the rhythm on her clit with her tongue as she pressed her fingers up into the lovely wetness once more.

“This feels so good,” sighed Manila, and Raja flicked her eyes up at her expression. Manila’s cheeks had flushed pink, and she reached her hand inside her bra to play with her nipple, her eyelids fluttering momentarily with pleasure. She looked absolutely excellent, far more relaxed than Raja had ever seen her before.

Raja continued, building up her rhythm as Manila began to gasp and moan and roll her hips against Raja’s face. It felt so good to please her friend like this, the ache of Raja’s own desire still warm and insistent between her legs.

Raja hooked her fingers, finding her g-spot once again, and flicking her tongue over Manila’s clit, hard and rapid while Manila clenched her thighs and arched her back even more and moaned, pressing herself up against Raja’s face until Raja had to hold her firmly against the bed with her opposite hand. Raja steadily increased the rhythm on her clit, and Manila got louder and louder, cursing over and over, and moaning Raja’s name until Raja felt her movements get erratic, and her internal muscles clenched and-

Sudden liquid dripped out onto Raja’s hand, as Raja brought Manila through an orgasm so good it could move tectonic plates. Manila moaned pathetically, her breath heavy, clutching desperately at the sheets as she let Raja take care of her.

Someone banged on the door.

“Oh my god, Raja, this is excessive even for you-”

“Go away Carmen!”

“Sorry, Carmen,” called Manila in an unsteady, breathy whimper of a voice.

“Wait, you’ve got Manila in there? Congratulations, bitches!”

Raja laughed, and sat up, wiping her face clean on her loose shirt before flopping down next to Manila and curling in to her side. Manila propped herself up on one elbow and swallowed dryly, shaking her head, her eyes glazed over in amazed disbelief. She looked like she’d been thoroughly fucked, thought Raja with keen affection, along with immense satisfaction on her own part.

“Ugh, that was really nice, that was so good,” repeated Manila, rolling onto her side to face Raja, and Raja practically glowed with the praise, “But how do Delta and Carmen both already know about this?”

“I’m not great with secrets,” shrugged Raja, nuzzling Manila’s neck and cuddling up against her.

Manila didn’t respond, instead she cuddled back into Raja with a happy little sigh, shutting her eyes. There was nothing in Raja’s gently stoned brain but post-sex satisfaction. After a few minutes Raja sat up, tracing her finger down Manila’s body from her shoulder to her chest, then down the dip of her waist and up and rise of her hip.

“You’re a bit of a pillow princess,” teased Raja, with a smirk, “I’m not sure what I expected, but you’re such a bratty little bottom-”

“No I’m not!” protested Manila in offence, sitting up.

“Yeah, you are,” taunted Raja, with a what-can-you-do shrug.

“Bitch, I’m about to destroy you,” said Manila, stretching her arms over her head and cracking the knuckles in fingers intimidatingly. She gave Raja an evil smile that was only slightly off-set by her blissed-out expression.

Raja gulped, now regretting her choice to tease her friend. She knew Manila was competitive, but what beast had she awakened?

“Now show me where you keep your vibrators and get on your back,” ordered Manila, with a deliciously authoritative grin.

Raja’s heart leapt and the warmth between her legs, which had much been waiting for this moment all day, flared back to violent, excited life. She told Manila where the sex toys were and rolled onto her her back, pulling off her underwear and tossing them aside, so glad to be fully naked. Raja couldn’t wait to see what Manila could do.

Finally.

Manila selected a small purple vibrator from Raja’s extensive collection in the plastic bin under her bed, and sat back up. Raja lay out before her, stretching like a happy cat, a pleased expression on her face under her half-lidded, bloodshot eyes. Her body was beautiful, long and lithe with subtle curves. Manila couldn’t help but feel honoured that Raja was showing herself to her like this. A few days ago she’d have never thought this would happen in like, real life, outside of her fantasies.

The earth-shattering orgasm from a few minutes ago had been, uh. Phew. Manila’s body responded strongly to Raja’s presence, and she felt tired and a little faded. But the opportunity to please Raja in return was one Manila couldn’t pass up.

Plus, she kind of liked the whole bossy thing that Raja was bringing out in her.

Manila crawled on top of Raja and gently kissed her neck, holding herself barely an inch above her so that their bodies weren’t quite touching. All those abdominal workouts at the gym were proving handy. Raja’s neck tasted amazing, and she made a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a purr that Manila really really liked. Raja caressed her waist, and arched her back, pressing herself up into Manila, their skin practically tingling where it met.

“You’re so beautiful,” sighed Raja. “I’m like so lucky,”

Manila smiled to herself and then sucked down hard on the corner of Raja’s neck where it met her shoulder. Raja let out an undignified squeak and Manila bit her just a little, knowing she’d have a reddish purple hickie bloom on Raja’s light brown skin later, and Raja moaned and arched into her further, wrapping her arms around Manila’s back and holding her close.

Manila tried to make some more space between their bodies, but Raja wasn’t really letting her. But Manila managed to sneak her hand between their bodies, flicking on the vibrator, and slid it between Raja’s legs, which she spread eagerly for her with a happy sigh. Raja was incredibly uninhibited, and that only encouraged Manila, making her bolder. It was so freeing to be intimate with someone like this and not worry about judgement. Or maybe that was just the weed talking.

But Raja was moving against her, rubbing herself up against the vibrator pressed between them, tangling her hand in Manila’s hair as she kissed her neck. Manila couldn’t help but fantasize about what else they might do as she held the buzzing device against Raja, drawing her pleasure out, from lazily fucking all afternoon to maybe a few more hardcore things… hopefully involving strap-ons, she was fairly sure she’d seen something like that in Raja’s box of sex toys.

Manila shifted the vibrator to a slightly different angle and Raja whimpered into her ear. Manila moved it gently against her, and reached between them again with her opposite hand to toy with her nipple.

Raja seemed to really enjoy that, because she arched her back and moaned something incoherent, rutting against the vibrator. Manila shifted down so she could lick and suck on Raja’s opposite nipple, pinching the other one as Raja let out an exhilarated yelp, and clutched Manila close, pressing her fingers into her back and rolling her hips. Raja’s body lithe arched and her breath was heavy, and then she slowed her hips, with a final little twitch.

“Did that feel good?” asked Manila, as she stood back up on her hands and knees and clicked the vibrator off, tossing it aside. She couldn’t help but ask, she wanted the approval.

“Mmm, yes,” replied Raja, sitting up and kissing her lazily. “But I’m not done, I want more of you…”

Manila smiled, almost blushing at Raja’s raw, simple statement of desire. But then Manila had an idea, and she turned on her back, lying next to Raja, who cuddled into her instinctively. It was so cute that Raja was physically affectionate, both platonic and romantic in equal measure, just like the way she’d been with her since they’d started being friends, but now with a different energy.

“Get up and sit on my face,” ordered Manila.

Raja blinked at her, and then grinned and got up with a slight grunt, straddling Manila’s chest with her long, beautiful legs bent at the knee.

“Have you ever done this before?” asked Raja, looking down at her, her long dark hair framing her face.

Manila narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her gaze on Raja’s face and not just stare at her pussy, which was really very much in her line of vision. Instead she ran her hands up Raja’s thighs and gripped her hips, pulling her closer.

“A lady never tells.”

“Oh, so you’re a lady now?” chuckled Raja, brushing Manila’s hair back so that she didn’t kneel on it as she shuffled forward, holding herself just above Manila.

“I’ve done it a couple times, it’s not that hard, come on,” whined Manila, vaguely realizing that her vow to tease Raja and make her suffer wasn’t going very well at this rate. Somehow she’d ended up being the one begging, again. In the future, when Manila had gotten used to this and was a little more, uh, composed around Raja, Raja would be the one begging. Definitely. For sure.

But Manila had a lot more important things to focus on, as Raja carefully lowered herself onto her face and Manila tilted her head back slightly, and held Raja’s hips. For once Manila didn’t doubt herself, they were figuring all of this out after all, emotionally and physically, and had plenty of time to do so.

If Raja was the kind of person who felt embarrassment about sexual situations, she might’ve felt a little embarrassed sitting on Manila’s face right now, or even embarrassed by how badly Manila seemed to want her. Luckily, Raja didn’t really feel embarrassed about sex, especially when she had a little weed in her. So, she very carefully held herself in place, sitting down but not putting the entirety of her weight on Manila’s face. She really didn’t want to break her friend’s neck, and/or accidentally suffocate her, that would not be a fun way to end the afternoon.

Manila lapped gently at her folds, quickly locating her clit and swirling her soft, velvety tongue around it. Raja exhaled through her nose, pleasure mixing with the hazy sensation in her mind, her aroused body quickly shifting back into gear. Mmm, Manila was so soft…

Okay, maybe she was a little more than soft, because she holding Raja’s hips very decisively, and encouraging her to rock against her. While Raja definitely didn’t want to hurt her or put on too much pressure the temptation to move was really strong. So Raja did, just a little.

Vaguely aware that she her own bodily juices were dripping all over Manila’s face and chin, Raja leaned forward slightly try to get a grip on the wall, her palms flat out.

“Is this- are you okay?” asked Raja, the shake in her voice giving her away as a a ripple of pleasure went through her body.

Manila nodded, confidently wrapping her arm around Raja’s thigh and pressing her in even closer.

“Mmh-” managed Raja, grinding slowly against Manila’s nose and mouth as Manila flicked her tongue against the delicate, tender skin around the entrance of her pussy, before pushing her tongue up inside her.

The wall wasn’t giving Raja much support, her sweaty palms were slipping and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. But this felt so good, the precarious feeling like she was unravelling. Manila’s lidded gaze flicked up to meet hers, and Raja was sure her face must have been ridiculous, her mouth open, panting and desperate with pleasure. Manila’s gaze was mischievous. Damn it.

A moan escaped Raja, and she wondered if it was the weed that was making her hyperaware of her hands right now, as Manila slipped her tongue in and out of her, building her up, and Raja ground herself on Manila’s face, hoping she wasn’t hurting her, babbling, “This feels so good, I- oh my god, fuck, Manila-“

This only seemed to invigorate Manila further, as she sucked on her clit in a way that made Raja’s eyes roll back in her head, as she felt the slick of sweat on her back. Raja slumped forward, and her hands managed to find the low board running across the head of her bed, which she’d forgotten about until this moment. Raja gripped it with one hand to make sure she wasn’t putting all her weight on Manila, and looked down again.

Manila’s beautiful hair was all shoved up behind her head to keep it safe from Raja’s knees. Raja tangled her hand in the beautiful black curls, the texture practically alive under her extra-sensitive fingertips. Manila somehow managed to nod that that was okay, and it electrified Raja even further and the entire world could have been burning and Raja wouldn’t have noticed, gasping as the pleasure wound higher and higher and her entire body tensed and unravelled.

After a several long moments of white-hot pleasure and astral-projection into outer space, Raja blinked and shuffled off of Manila, shivering from the aftershocks. Manila blinked, and turned her head to the side, cracking her neck. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, attempting to clean up the combination of Raja’s slick juices and her own saliva that was all over half of her face.

“Is your neck okay?” said Raja, her voice weak as she slid down next to Manila to cuddle. “Also, you might need a towel.”

“Yeah, my neck is fine,” replied Manila smugly. “Did I destroy you?”

“Yeah, you really did,” sighed Raja, pressing her face into Manila’s neck and breathing in, “I knew this was going to be awesome.”

Manila laughed quietly and kissed her cheek.

“I think we should have a nap,” whispered Raja, hazy relaxation taking over her limbs, “Then a snack, and some more weed, and then we can make out again later. Do you want to stay?”

“I have that research assignment I should be working on…” replied Manila, but she didn’t make any effort to get up, instead she reached over to the other side of the bed and grabbed the end of Raja’s blanket, pulling it around them both and snuggling in, “…but a nap sounds nice too.”

Raja couldn’t help but smile, slipping her arm around Manila’s waist and holding her close as she relaxed into a a gentle doze.

They’d finally stopped joking and dancing around each other, and it felt really, really good.

“I’m like so happy you rescued me from the grocery store that time a few weeks ago,” sighed Raja, reflecting on how it had all began, and passing her joint to Manila, who was tangled up in her lap on the living room couch.

After the excellent sex-filled afternoon a week ago, and several more conversations about feelings and boundaries, Raja and Manila had arrived at an arrangement of casual dating. They’d both just handed in major assignments and as such, were taking a break from the endless deluge of schoolwork to chill out. The relationship so far was great, relaxed and low-pressure enough for Raja to feel comfortable, but intentional and committed enough to suit Manila’s needs. Raja hadn’t felt this way about anybody else before, and was still working out what it meant, if anything. But more importantly, they were being honest with each other, and that was very sexy, and things felt really fucking good.

“Ha,” chuckled Manila, inhaling and blowing smoke back into Raja’s face, “Anytime, Raja. You’re a ridiculous human.”

“No, you are,” said Raja affectionately, kissing her ear and then moving a little lower to gently nuzzle her neck.

“They’re disgusting,” stated Delta from their left side, with a smile at the edge of her mouth as she played Super Smash Bros with Carmen, “I knew this would happen.”

“Yeah Raja, you’re so embarrassing,” laughed Carmen from their right side, leaning forward with the controller, and competing with Delta on the screen. Manila laughed along with her, and poked Raja’s side, teasing her.

“Aren’t you gonna fight her for my honour or something?” whined Raja to Manila in complaint.

“Nope,” chuckled Manila, kissing her cheek.

“You’re right, they’re terrible,” complained Carmen to Delta, but she accepted the joint that Manila passed to her anyway, with a smile.

Something interesting stirred in Raja’s stomach at Manila’s casual threat and she cuddled her a little closer, already excited to head up to her room later.

“We should make some ground rules,” stated Delta, jabbing at the controller, “No sex on the couch, for example.”

“Yeah, we already broke that one,” said Raja, with an evil grin.

“Oh my god, the couch is communal!”

“Wait, this couch?” demanded Carmen, mildly disgusted, glancing down at the cushions she was sitting on.

“Do we have another one?”

“No…”

“Okay, let go of me,” said Manila, gently removing Raja’s hand from around her waist and leaning forward, reaching for a controller. “I’m gonna join the melee.”

Delta and Carmen finished up their round as Manila got set up, and Raja reached past Carmen’s back to the side of the couch for some chips. Mmm, salt. Raja didn’t particularly feel like playing video games today, she just wanted to keep smoking and relax, but she didn’t mind if her friends did so around her. She shuffled so that she was sitting with her legs open with Manila between them, leaning forward. Manila’s body language was focused, and her thumbs moved rapidly over the joystick and the letter buttons, her grip was confident on the plastic controller.

Without needing to ask, Raja gently took Manila’s hair out of it’s ponytail, and carded her hands through it. Manila gossiped back and forth with Carmen and Delta, letting Raja gently weave little braids into her hair while they fought and trounced one another on the screen.

An easy, affectionate feeling came over Raja, one that was both familiar and new, glowing in her chest. Raja wondered vaguely if it was just the weed talking, again.

No, Raja realized as she heard Manila laugh and smiled to herself, this feeling had nothing to do with weed.

It was love.

#rpdr fanfiction #rajila #raja gemini #manila luzon #lesbian au #college au #smut #fluff #everybody knows you're high #dartmouth420 #tw weed

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emowithoddsocks · 6 years ago

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Not Saying A Word- Rajila

A/N: Based off the song in the musical Blood Brothers.

For the AQ musical theater challenge.

Nights walking the streets together, hand in hand or arms linked. The streetlights their only guides after the sun had set and no stars nor moon could be found in the sky above.

Stories and jokes shared between them, even if heard a hundred times before still brought tears to eyes as they laughed.

To the onlooker they were simply kids, just kids not yet ready for the trials of life. Their possibilities endless with the world at their fingertips.

If only life could stay like this forever. Dreams still hoping to come true and the idea of being in love still a pleasure not a curse.

Who would tell the girl in the middle of the pair the price she’d pay for just being there.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I know Manila, I’ll miss you too.”

Sitting in the park at 10pm, no one to bother them as they leant against each watching the cigarette smoke dance around.

Manila rested her head against the taller girls shoulder, wondering if this would be the last time she ever would.

“Raven will too ya know, she just won’t admit it.” She mumbled but Raja was not listening, too trapped in her own thoughts.

“She loves you.”

Raja paused from where she was about to take another drag of her cigarette.

“She loves you more, just doesn’t show it the way I would.”

Manila tilted her head slightly so that she could look up at Raja’s face. No such beauty could ever be replicated from this girl, Raja was unique and Manila had fallen hard.

“How would you show me?”

Raja gave an amused smile.

“For you I’d recite all the love sonnets of Shakespeare. I’d find the tallest building in the city and shout my declaration of love from the top so that everyone knew.” She breathes out another cloud of smoke from her lips. “We’d lay in bed for hours making plans for the future and after eventually falling asleep I’d tell you that I loved you as we awoke together.”

Manila say up and wiped away the single tear that had formed in her eye. Standing up she grabbed the other girls hand to pull her up too, so they stood facing each other under the dim light of the nearby lamppost.

Raja dropped her cigarette to the floor and stomped out the last of the dying embers with the heel of her boot. She then wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.

”Did you mean all that?” Manila reached to return the hug.

“Yes,” Raja’s heart began to beat faster and faster as if it would explode at any moment. She leaned down to press their lips together.

It was perfect. Too perfect.

Raja quickly pulled back, fighting off the tears that were threatening to appear as she took one last look at Manila

“Raven. She’s the one you should be with.”

#raja gemini #raven #manila luzon #rajila #love triangle #angst #song fic #blood brothers fic #emowithoddsocks #i wrote this mostly cause im sad rn #G's brain is weird

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queenofmilktea · 6 years ago

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It’s Not Supposed to be Like This

Rajila, model AU, One-shot

Where Raja is a successful model but her girlfriend might not make it.

Raja was pretty sure that it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She stared at herself in the fogged mirror. How her hair clung onto her scalp for dear life as it was yanked into a tight ponytail. Dark eyeliner washed over her eyes, hoping to mask the blank expression she held. The longer she looked, the more flaws she had; dark circles under her eyes, the wrinkles developing around her lips; how sunken in her features looked. She didn't know who this was.

People around her were rushing to get ready; high heels clicking against the marble ground and yells thrown back and forth backstage. Her eyes travelled towards the empty chair next to her. Raja couldn’t help but to think that it was supposed to be taken. Taken by a particular person who wasn't here. But she was probably long gone now.

“You look upset,”

Raja glanced up to see Raven, a makeup brush in hand, leaning towards her. Gently dusting away the thick layers of powder, she gave a deep sigh. Raven didn’t need to speak for Raja to understand.

“Just nervous,” she lied, feeling the oddly familiar phrase roll off of her tongue. It almost gave her chills. Raven saw right through her, dabbing harsher at her cheeks. Raja coughed and dusted it away.

“You’re never nervous,” she argued, her voice husky; either from her exhausted state or annoyance with Raja’s mood. Probably both.

Rightfully so—Raja thought. She’d been working countless hours for numerous models who were probably all as bitchy as you’d expect. Raja had to learn that the hard way. Sometimes she wondered if things were better when they were younger. It used to be a lot easier. A lot fewer people. A lot nicer people too. Ha. Raja still remembered her first shoot. Pretty vividly. If you wiped away that harsh makeup and let her long hair down, maybe that old Raja was still underneath.

Young Raja arrived at her first photoshoot with no experience and faked confidence. She had a resting bitch face so no one seemed to want to talk to her. She didn’t care though. She had one goal in mind; to become someone. That’s what everyone was back then; nobodies who wanted to become somebody.

She thought that this was the last shot at her dream. That, after this, she’d just give up and finally go to college to get an education. Like what her parents wanted her to do. But she wanted to give it one last go before she just let her dream go forever.

“You okay?”

A honeyed voice shuddered her train of thought. Current day Raja remembered it like it was yesterday. Crystal clear. Crisp. Perky. Turning her head, she was greeted with the widest smile. Perfectly lined teeth, plump, crimson lips. Her eyes roamed higher. She had the brightest eyes. Ones that crinkled just a tad when she smiled.

“You look like you've seen a ghost,” she joked, chuckling at the end of her sentence. She plopped herself down on the chair next to her, scooching in a tad closer.

Raja couldn’t stop staring. How confidence seemed to beem off of her. It didn’t feel fake like hers. Was this love at first sight? She deemed otherwise. Was it attraction at first sight? Infatuation? Allure? Probably. Most likely. Definitely.

“Just nervous,” she found herself admitting. Her thumbs fumbled together.

Raja sighs at the thought. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Maybe she was making some sort of mistake.

From the looks of her card swung around her neck, she was the other model. And from the looks of her drop dead gorgeous face, she was definitely the other model.

“Don't be, it'll be loads of fun. Promise,” the other girl nudged her lightly, running her long fingers by Raja’s forearm. She suddenly clutched onto her hands, making Raja freeze. Her strong gaze and her firm grip caught her off guard. “You know, I never book gigs in L.A. It’s usually not my style,” she blabbered on, her voice becoming more animated. Raja eased herself to a grin. “...you are the other model, right?” Raja gulped and nodded, feeling a tad self-conscious as she peered towards her closer. “Thought so,” she inserted a pause. “It's easy to tell with your gorgeous face.”

She had said it so casually too. Out of the blue. So nonchalantly. But it made Raja heat up anyway. A little too much. But she didn't seem to mind from the way she smirked at her.

“Manila,” she raised one hand and placed it in between them as if she was inviting Raja to a handshake. The quirky introduction made her laugh.

“Raja.”

“Well this gorgeous face can't take me that far,” is what she wanted to say if she had the balls to. She could barely walk in heels, she had the most lopsided smile, and she barely had enough confidence to start conversations. She sounded more bitchy and stilted than she wanted.

“Even if you were to be…” Raven began again, Raja snapping back into reality. When she gazed into the mirror, it was the same old Raja. ”...you would talk a lot more. At least some petty complaint,” Raven cupped Raja’s chin and raised her gaze, their fixated stares clicking together. She precisely outlined her plump lips, the mauve colour glossing over the natural rosy pink. “‘This lace is too itchy’, ‘it’s too cold’,” she mimicked in an over-friendly tone, a forceful chuckle ending her sentence. The edge of her sharp brush curved around her cupid’s bow as she parted her lips. “Can’t you brighten up a little bit? You’ve been working your ass off for years to book something this big! You’re not going to let some girl pull you down like that, are you?”

Raja let out an exhale. She shook her head reluctantly and felt Raven’s presence ease. Ruched fabric sprawled across her chest. It was a no sleeve, silver dress that stuck to her body like glue. The mermaid silhouette made it hard for her to walk and made it even harder to sit down and get comfortable. That, or it was how uncomfortable she felt in her own situation. In this place. Right now.

‘It wasn’t some girl though’ was the first thing that popped into her mind. It clogged in her throat, making her next exhale shallower and colder. But of course, she couldn’t say that. Raven would probably punch her if she did.

But it was true. She wasn’t some girl. She wouldn’t just move in with some girl. Raja could still smell the newly coated on paint. And still feel the sweat beating down her face.

“You need any help?”

It was probably around 7 months after their first gig together. Raja somehow learnt to swallow down her embarrassment and ask Manila out herself. Not really to a date. Something a lot vaguer than that. But she happily agreed. And well. It’s not too hard to imagine what happened after that.

Except it was for Raja. It wasn’t really like her to take a leap of faith, nonetheless receive some miracle like this. Like her. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But she didn’t care. She was happy.

“Yeah,” Raja was quick to accept her help, the girl swooping down to catch her quickly slipping boxes. “I hate doing manual labour.”

They both lowered their heavy boxes into their new apartment. Their apartment. Those were magical words that sent shivers through Raja’s body. Small, taped up boxes scattered around the limited space. It was shabby, virtually broken, and situated at the heart of the city. Sometimes the wooden floorboards creaked and all the walls were exposed bricks. But they both thought it gave it character. That it was cozy, homey and a tad arty—everything they wanted.

“Well, truth be told, I didn’t really like L.A,” Manila ran her hand down Raja’s arm. They matched each other’s smiles. “...until I met you. Things can change, you know?”

She pressed her lips together and leaned over into Raja’s embrace. She wrapped her arms around and brought her into her chest tightly.

“I’m so happy we’re doing this”

It sent tingles through her mind.

“Me too…”

She felt the phrase roll off of her tongue. When she closed her eyes, she could still taste Manila’s lips. Sugar-like. As well as feel soft and delicate. She traced her index finger over her bottom lip.

“You’re going to ruin it if you do that,” Raven groaned, bending over to scratch out the smudging colour. Raja rolled her eyes, swatting her hand away.

“It’ll be fine,” she reassured, though her tone was much too uncaring to be convincing. Raven eyed her down like her a strict parent.

“It’s a special occasion. Maybe a once in a lifetime opportunity,” she smacked her palms against Raja’s bare shoulders and yanked her up. “Don’t fuck it up, okay?” Raja nodded and gulped, quickly scanning herself up and down. It gave her a thrilling chill. A mix of excitement and regret. A mix between potential futures but forgotten pasts. It all brewed inside of her.

“Thanks,”

She couldn’t agree more. Really. The look was breathtaking. But it felt wrong. Somehow. Like it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Raven took her by the hand and lead her towards the blinding lights. A few more models nervously stood by, their hands clamming over their garments to flatten them out. There were a few more touch-ups to their makeup alongside whirlwinds of hairspray.

“You look gorgeous. You’re gonna kill it,” Raven ran her hands over her garment to smooth it out against her waist and also dabbed a bit of highlighter along her cheeks.

“Raja...I’m happy for you”

Raja knew that something was wrong from the moment Manila spoke. It wasn’t as pitched. As happy.

“What’s wrong?” she remembered asking immediately.

Raja was on their large sofa right in the middle of some TV show. It was a Friday night. A wide blanket coated over her legs but there was a reasonable amount of space left for where Manila should have been sitting. She had turned around to face her, excitedly smiling but immediately dying down when Manila came, mascara running down her cheeks and her hair messy.

“L.A isn’t my scene after all…” she ran her fingers through her hair. The tangled ends didn’t allow them to pass through. “...I’ve been asked to move back to New York by my agency...they say that my brand isn’t selling here…”

She closed her eyes.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

But—

“Raja? Snap out of it,” Raja shook her head and faced the frustrated makeup artist. “I knew it! You’re not over her, are you? At all,” she grabbed onto her hands tightly. Suffocatingly. “I know she’s leaving today. I know she’s leaving for New York today, but that’s not what you’re doing. You’re here, about to go on the runway and kill it with this amazing look. Okay? So can you, for once, stop thinking about--?!”

“Don’t,” she spat, her voice harsher than she had imagined it to be. “...please don’t say her name,” she could feel her knees buckling. “...I don’t think I can do it...everything feels like it’s wrong...saying her name will make me feel worse,” she felt nauseous. Sickly nauseous. She wanted to tear that tight dress off of her, throw away her heels and run. “I know it’s not supposed to be like this. But let me forget it, okay?” she pulled herself away from her rough grasp falling back on her heels. “I can’t forget her if you tell me her name.”

“It’s been months Raja…” she tried to approach her with a quieter tone. “...maybe it’s not supposed to be like this…” she hit her upper arm lightly. “Go get her before you witness me getting fired.”

Raja blinked and sees her life flash before her eyes.

“What? Raven—” “What did I just say?”

She held the dress up with both her hands and ran.

***

“What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. No sane person would be standing in front of the airport with only a thin layer of sparkly, silver material stuck to their body in the middle of winter, calling for a girl instead of at the job that could’ve made her successful. But Raja was here anyway, one hand reaching towards the girl cloaked in a warm yellow coat. Manila.

“I...I came to see you…” she panted, trying to catch her breath. The ball of her feet dug into the ground harshly. “...I-I wanted to see you…”

“But don’t you have a runway show tonight?” Manila’s voice was quiet. It was borderline whispering. Like she was in denial. Or she thought she was dreaming. Probably both.

Rightfully so. No one in the world would run away from a once in a lifetime opportunity. Especially to see a girl. “Some girl” as Raven calls her. Sometimes Raja wondered why she didn’t scold Raven for calling her that. Or even go after Manila when she had the chance. Not this last minute bullshit.

“I...I did…” Raja let herself giggle a tad. Manila pulled a face of complete confusion. “...but I left it.”

“Why?” the younger girl somewhat snapped worriedly.

“Because it felt...wrong. Like it wasn’t supposed to be like that,” her gaze fell into a hazy mist. “...it feels like it shouldn’t be like this but…” Manila looked at her back with a glassy stare. But smiled nonetheless. “I don’t feel right...without you.”

“Raja…” she wrapped her arms around her waist and reeled her in closely. “...please don’t look so upset…”

“I can’t help it...if you’re not here…” she parted and peered down at her. Her eyes look lost. Empty. In a state of confusion. Her yellow coat was undoubtedly bright but it looked dull next to her expression. “I know it feels like it’s wrong. But it is supposed to be like this. Trust me,” they pressed their foreheads together. It’s warm. “...you do, don’t you?”

“Yeah…” their warm breathes intermixed. “Maybe it is supposed to be like this.”

It felt wrong, in a way. It was wrong, in a way. Were they abandoning their future? Maybe. Sort of. Depends. Raja chuckled at the thought. Seemed more daring than what she’s used to. But then again, you can’t get miracles without taking a leap of faith. It was supposed to be like this, they knew for sure.

#rpdr fanfiction #rajila

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fortheloveofpearlet · 8 years ago

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Rajila having sex in their hotel room after drag con ????

Thank you darling! Boy names and male pronouns used.

Send me sentence prompts and drag race pairings and I’ll write you a little drabble!

An old familiar feeling pulsed through their veins as clothes becamefewer and hands grouped at flesh. It had been a long time sincethey’d been in this position, such a long time. The memories of that last timeswirled around Karl’s head as Sutan’s fingers caressed his flesh. Of course atthe time they weren’t to know it would be the last time, there was no way topredict that. They also couldn’t have predicted what was going to happenbetween them that first day in the werk room. Karl remembered it as though itwere yesterday, seeing Sutan enter the room. The second he’d taken off the hatthat had been concealing his face Karl had started to fall. It had taken amatter of days before the first time they fell into bed together and itcontinued all the way through the competition and for a while after. Karl stillremembered the last time. It had been little over a year since filming forseason three had ended and Sutan had just shown up on Karl’s doorstep withabsolutely no warning. They’d spent three days and nights in bed, not doing alot of sleeping, making up for lost time. When Sutan left he promised they’dsee each other again soon. They didn’t see each other for almost two monthsafter that. And when they did, Karl knew it was over. When Sutan had introducedhis dashingly gorgeous boyfriend, that’s when Karl knew. They’d never labelledwhat they were, they weren’t dating, and they weren’t each other’s boyfriendsor anything like that. It was just sex. That’s all it had ever been. And whenSutan was done with Karl he had just tossed him aside and moved onto the next.Karl pretended he was ok with that but in reality he hadn’t been. He’d fallenfor Sutan hard, maybe it was his own damn fault for never telling him that. Henever told Sutan how much he’d broken his heart, what was the point? They sawmuch less of each other after things ended but their paths crossed every oncein a while. They were civil, they had to be, but after a while Karl’sbitterness subsided and eventually they were able to be friends. Now it hadbeen more years than Karl could even bear to remember and here they were, rightback where they started. Karl felt as though he could be in a time warp, ifI open my eyes will I be back on Drag Race?

They’d shared a booth a Dragcon this year and it was probably thelongest time they’d spent together since they’d been sleeping together. Itallowed them to talk and for the first time in a really long time things feltnormal between them. And maybe Karl was an idiot for not realising this waswhere it would end, in bed. There was years of pent up sexual tension between thembut as Sutan’s hands grouped at Karl’s ass it felt like no time had passed atall.

‘God I’ve missed this.’ Sutan chuckled a little, giving Karl’s ass asqueeze. They were naked and Karl was on top of Sutan grinding his hips intothe older man.

'Me too.’ Karl panted. More than you will ever know. Sutanhooked his hand around the back of Karl’s neck and pulled him close for anotherkiss. Sutan rolled them over so he was now on top. A part of Karl wished he hadmore will power. He wished that when Sutan had turned up at his hotel room thisevening Karl would have told him to go to hell. But he hadn’t. He was putty inSutan’s hands just like he always had been. The older man trailed kisses downKarl’s body, seemingly remembering the exact places Karl liked to be kissed andtouched the most. Is that just a coincidence or does he reallyremember? Karl pondered this but soon all thoughts left his mind.Sutan’s lips got lower until they were on Karl’s hip bone, one of Karl’sfavourite places to be kissed. Sutan looked up at Karl through hooded eyes andsmirked a little. His kisses trailed lower and Karl needed Sutan so badly, itwas killing him. Sutan parted Karl’s legs and he gave Karl another smirk beforehis head was between Karl’s cheeks and Karl felt Sutan’s tongue lap over hisentrance. Karl moaned and laced his fingers in Sutan’s hair. The older man’stongue pushed inside of him and Karl was gone. Sutan felt so familiar, Karlremembered the way this felt as though no time at all had passed since theylast did this. Sutan worked his hole like only he knew how and reached up andtook hold of Karl’s shaft. Karl was already leaking, Sutan was just that good.Karl’s body ached for the older man, it always had done. He tugged at Sutan’shair.

'Sutan please, I need you. It’s been too long.’ Karl whined, he couldn’tstop himself. Sutan stroked Karl’s dick and his tongue slid out of him.

'It really has been.’ Sutan chuckled a little. 'I love you like this, sodesperate.’ He bowed his head and kissed Karl hard.

'Please?’ Karl begged. Sutan stroked his hair back off his face.

'Don’t worry Karl, I’m not going anywhere.’ Sutan smiled at him andpulled a condom from the bedside table. Had Sutan anticipated this? Had he beenplanning this? Did he really think it was going to be that easy to just getKarl back into bed after all those years? Clearly he’d been right because ithad been that easy. Karl tried to put all thoughts of those years ago behindhim and just focus on the fact Sutan was here now. But he was worried aboutwhat happened after. He refused to think about it now, he would have to crossthat bridge when he came to it. Sutan rolled the condom over his dick.

'You know what one of the best nights of my life was?’ He cupped Karl’sface. Karl frowned.

'What?' What a strange time to be asking me that, Karlthought.

'One of the best nights of my life. After we filmed the reunion show forseason three and you came back to my hotel. We fucked all night until youdidn’t think you could come anymore.’ Sutan kissed him briefly. 'But I insistedwe could go one more time. You sat in my lap and you rode me. I want you to dothat again.’ Sutan’s eyes were dark and Karl felt his whole body tremble. Hehad no idea how he’d come so much that night, it had to be some kind of record.He’d been a little sore and very, very sensitive when Sutan had pulled him intohis lap and had Karl ride him. Karl had barely had the energy to keep himselfup right so Sutan had admittedly done most of the work. Maybe he could make upfor that now.

'Fuck yeah.’ Karl sat up on the bed. Just like that night all those yearsago Sutan pulled him into his lap. Karl wrapped his legs around Sutan’s waistand his arms around his neck. He elevated himself a little and linedSutan’s dick up with his hole. Slowly he lowered himself onto the other man andthey both moaned in unison as Sutan’s dick disappeared inside him. Sutan pulledKarl close by his neck and kissed him and Karl started to move. He bounced upand down on Sutan, at this angle Sutan was hitting him in places that droveKarl wild. Sutan’s head rolled back and his eyes closed as he let this feelingwash over him. He grouped about blindly and found Karl’s dick and startedpumping him. Karl moaned as he started bouncing harder. He kept his eyes onSutan the whole time, worried that as soon as this was over Sutan would leaveand Karl would be left heartbroken again. He wanted to commit everything aboutthis to his memory in case it never happened again. As Sutan’s dick was tappinginto his bundle of nerves he just stared at the older man’s face, drinking inevery detail. Karl felt pathetically like he could cry but thankfully hemanaged to refrain. Soon his orgasm washed over him, he had no idea how he’dlasted so long in the first place. He came between their bodies and after hewas spent his bounces on Sutan’s dick became lazy. Sutan sensed this andstarted to move his hips but he was coming soon after. He lifted Karl off ofhim and laid the younger man down on the bed. He got rid of the condom and laiddown next to Karl. He stroked Karl’s messy hair back off his forehead.

‘I hate to ask this.’ Karl bit his lip, knowing what he was about to saywas going to come across pathetic and needy no matter how much he tried not to.‘But what happens now?’

Sutan’s hand moved from his hair to his cheek and cupped it. He strokedKarl’s cheek with his thumb.

‘I don’t know.’ Sutan spoke honestly. ‘Maybe dinner? Are you hungry?’

Karl raised his eyebrow.

‘As in two friends having dinner or…?’ he felt too pathetic to finishthat sentence but Sutan knew what he meant. The older man chuckled lightly andshuffled closer to kiss Karl gently.

‘As in like a date. I know we’ve gone about this all wrong and I’ve notexactly doing things by the book here. But I feel like this is years overdue. Letme take you to dinner?’

Karl felt an explosion in his chest at Sutan’s words. It was all he’dever wanted. Inside he was screaming like a teenager being asked out by thecaptain of the football team but he tried to play it cool. He didn’t want Sutanto see him lose his shit and then change his mind.

‘I could eat.’ Karl shrugged. ‘As long as you’re paying.’

Sutan laughed again and pulled Karl closer for another kiss. He wrappedhis arms around the younger man and Karl swore he had never felt this happy inhis entire life.

‘Whatever you want. I think I have some making up to do anyway.’

Karl smiled a little and kissed Sutan. You can make it up to me by never, ever leaving me again. Of coursehe didn’t say that out loud, he didn’t want to sound clingy. Instead Karl poutedhis lips and sassily replied, ‘yes bitch you do. Now come on, I haven’t got allday.’ He rolled out of bed and started getting dressed. He didn’t know what thefuture would hold for him and Sutan, there was no way for either of them toknow that. But Karl just hoped to god that this time they could work it out. Hislife didn’t make sense with Sutan, he just hoped Sutan felt the same.

#rajila #rajila drabble #manila luzon #raja gemini

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aqconfessions · 8 years ago

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juniper's rajila fics make my heart so happy - her latest fic was perfect, i really hope she doesn't stop writing rajila.

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rybberdyst · 6 years ago

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that was really good!! beginning AND ending with soft domestic girls...raja making her take the toy out bc she knows she can fuck nila better than it, and then obviously the babygirl jumps out of nila!! thanks so much for writing rajila, there's so little of it, especially lesbian rajila bc it rly speaks to my lesbianism

the ooky dooky babygirl jumped OUT! and im glad i can speak to your lesbianism! rajila has a big place in my heart rn. any other ships that speak to you as a while lesbian?

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

Control, 1/3 (Katya/Manila) - Dartmouth420

Summary: All it took as the deal went south was a split second, a single gunshot, and then the incredibly stupid, impulsive decision to grab all the coke the guy had on the table and run. Now Katya and Manila need to get rid of a dangerous, truly incriminating amount of cocaine as fast as possible, as they rocket towards rock-bottom in Katya’s 1997 Volvo hatchback. Lesbian AU heist tale, Katya/Manila main, past (plot-relevant) Rajila & Trixya.

A/N: It’s darker and sadder than the summary makes it out to be. This story was inspired by the request for Katya/Manila chaos a few weeks ago, and some Lana Del Rey songs, but it got unhinged and angsty so PLEASE heed the content warnings. but other than that enjoy :)

CW: codependent relationship, drug use, drug addiction, off-screen gun violence, smut, semi-clothed sex, strap-ons, past abusive relationships, angst, unreliable narrator

PS: addiction is a very complex issue, and not something to be taken lightly in real life.

Part 1:

She doesn’t mind I have a flat broke-down life

In fact she says she thinks it’s what she might like about me

Admires me, the way I roll like a rolling stone

-Lana Del Rey, ‘Off To The Races’

It’s the cocaine, obviously.

Katya knows the cocaine is what’s fuelling these decisions. It’s not her fault.

The knowledge hadn’t stopped her from accompanying Manila anyway, as what was supposed to be their deal on enough coke to fuel a big party this weekend had gone sour and scary, and the guy had reached behind him for the gun in his waistband. But Manila had been faster, she’d pulled her piece out of her purse and shot the guy in a sudden explosion of noise.

On the couch in the living room in Manila’s tiny apartment, Katya rubs some coke onto her gums, and presses her fingers to her temples in an attempt to calm herself. Manila paces back and forth in front of the coffee table while Katya tries not to think about the shock in the dealer’s eyes, and his tattooed arm grasping at the bullet wound in his shoulder as he fell back. Is he dead? Maybe. Maybe not.

There are seven single-kilogram bricks of cocaine, one torn open at the corner, sitting in front of them on the coffee table, among the coffee-stained mugs and crumpled McDonald’s bags and the cheap paperback sci-fi novels that Katya likes.

Manila paces with her phone out, and her leather jacket open. She turns on her heel on one end of the stained carpet and makes a call, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Heyyy,” says Manila, drawing out the word.

Someone on the other end shouts Bitch, how did you get this number?! and Manila scrambles, “No wait no, Trinity, hear me out-“

There’s an audible beep, and Manila glares at the phone, angry.

“Okay, okay,” repeats Manila to herself, pacing back and forth, “We can get this under control.”

All the pacing is making Manila’s short dress ride up her thighs, drawing Katya’s eyes. Manila’s legs are easily her best feature. Well, her curly black hair is nice, too. Katya watches her nervously. It isn’t that she’s afraid of her, no, Katya loves her girlfriend. Obviously.

But Manila did just shoot the guy back there.

Katya had shrieked, her hands flying to her mouth, gazing in horror at Manila’s blank, shocked expression. They’d stared at each other for a split second, and then, completely without thinking, Katya had rushed for the drugs that sat on the table next to the man groaning on the floor, shoving the bricks of coke into her purse, Manila had arrived at the table a second later, and they’d rushed out and leapt into Katya’s 1997 Volvo hatchback and sped off as shouts echoed from the abandoned warehouse.

Katya drove like a madwoman back to Manila’s apartment, her scabby knuckles bright white on the steering wheel while in the passenger’s seat next to her Manila dragged in big gulps of air, trembling.

So, yeah. Here they are. Katya had known that Manila had a gun in her purse, just in case, but she hadn’t thought it would… well, come out. Of the purse.

“We need to sell it quick,” says Katya, keeping her voice as calm as possible, despite her rapidly beating heart. In the thrill of panic they’d broken into one of the bricks and done some lines, and were now both a bit twitchy. “We can’t- we can’t sit on this much. Fuck it’s so much money, I could really use it-”

“I know, me too,” replies Manila, taking her phone back out and scrolling. Her movements are rapid, nervous.

Katya glares down at the table, willing her whirring mind to think, and suddenly she misses Trixie. The breakup had been terrible, Katya had yelled and cried and threatened and begged Trixie to stay, but it was well over eight months ago and Katya should be over it. She isn’t. It’s like Trixie took her heart out of her chest when she left, and is still carrying it around with her. Katya has known Manila for a lot longer, from even before she met Trixie, and in the aftermath Manila was well, single (sort of) and there.

Katya has always been incapable of making good decisions. Even alright decisions. But she’s been trying to talk to Trixie again. It’s been going well. She hopes they’ll be back together by the end of the year.

Manila taps her phone, and then hits speaker, and the sound of it ringing echoes around her small apartment. Katya watches her. Manila paces, holding the phone out in her hand.

“Hello?” comes a deep, familiar voice.

“Latrice!” enthuses Manila, all smiles and joviality, “Hey girl, long time no chat!”

“Uh-huh, same to you, what’ve you got going on?”

The mild skepticism in Latrice’s voice is as well-hidden as Manila’s own manic edge. But maybe Latrice would be interested, and she’d buy a chunk of their sudden supply. Katya fidgets on the couch, reaching out and sinking her fingers into one of Manila’s old throw-pillows, the one with the fading print of Bettie Page posing with a whip.

“I’ve got, uh,” says Manila, speaking like she’s consciously trying to slow herself down, still pacing, tossing her hair over her shoulder, “I’ve got something you might like to buy.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“Ah, just a little something for a good time.”

“How much have you got?”

Latrice’s voice remains cautious-friendly, and Katya gets her hopes up for a second. Latrice is a local club owner, large-and-in-charge, friendly and easy-going, and primarily a legitimate business woman. But she sometimes dabbles in other kinds of purchases. Like they all do.

“Yeah, uh, a little more than I thought…” says Manila smoothly, with a chuckle, like it’s all a big joke. “Seven kilos.”

Silence on the other end of the line.

“Latrice?”

“I’m still here,” replies Latrice, but her tone is now suspicious, reticent.

“Mm,” says Manila, nodding to herself, “Okay, so you’re interested? Think you want to buy a brick? Or two?”

“Two kilos? Girl.”

“Don’t say it like that, you know how these things happen,” says Manila rapidly, trying to smooth it over.

“Seven kilos of coke doesn’t just happen, Manila.”

“Look we need to sell it fast-“

“You always need something, don’t you.“ Latrice’s tone is unimpressed, annoyed. "How many favours have I done for you over the years, and how many times have you disappeared when I needed you to have my back? See this is your problem-“ They’d all been good friends once, recalls Katya. Champagne and glitter and birthdays and club music and VIP lounges. Perhaps not so much anymore. “I don’t even want to know, I’m not getting involved-“

“Just let me expl- no- don’t you dare hang up on me!”

There’s a beep and the call drops.

Katya stands up, and walks the short few steps to the kitchen, chewing at her lip. Her gums are going numb. Who does she know that could buy this amount of stolen cocaine and very, very fast? She scrolls through her mental list of contacts and stares at the counter, at the crumbs brushed to the backstop.

“Well that sucks, why am I the one calling everybody-” mutters Manila from the living room, and then says louder, “Okay, okay, this isn’t a big deal. We’ve got choices, we’ve got options.”

Manila paces the living room again, tapping at her lips with her finger.

“What if we parcel it out and sell it at the club tonight?” suggests Katya, wriggling her hips as she bends over to look in the fridge, before glancing over her shoulder to see if Manila’s eyeing her ass in her jeans or not. Coke always makes her a little horny, which used to make Trixie unsettled. But Manila likes that about her.

Manila pauses in her pacing, watching Katya’s ass, and a little thrill shoots down Katya’s spine. There isn’t anything of interest in the fridge. Some carrot sticks, old milk, leftover pizza. Slimy spinach from Katya’s attempt to get something green into them both last week. Behind her, there’s a snort as Manila does another bump.

“Maybe- no, the first place they’ll check is the clubs and they’ll probably recognize us, but if we could get someone else to sell for us-“

Katya looks back at her, arching her back with a giggle and wiggling her ass. Her heart is soaring, she can’t help smiling, and there’s a manic edge underneath it. Her gums are numb, and her throat is tingling.

Something changes in Manila’s eyes and a smile spreads across her face.

Manila always makes Katya feel good, of course, but it’s a different kind of good than she’d had with Trixie. Trixie, with her big hair, her flannel shirts in the morning over her those little pink nightdresses, her dry humour. The way she didn’t always realize when she was being funny. Her observations. She used to make up silly songs for Katya, strumming away on her guitar while they sat on the balcony and Katya smiled and laughed and spilled her coffee, kicking her feet with how happy she was.

But Trixie had been able to walk away from it all because she had a goal. Katya and Manila haven’t had real goals in years.

Manila walks the short distance from the living room to the kitchen, eyes on Katya’s ass, hunger on her face. There’s an impulsive, high thrill in the air, that might be from the coke or the crime or both. Katya straightens, shutting the fridge.

Manila grasps her waist from behind, pushing Katya against the fridge and murmuring in her ear, “Gotcha, baby.”

Katya cackles and smiles and pushes her bony ass back into Manila’s body. But she likes it, the way that Manila manhandles her sometimes. It’s thrilling. She’s always had a thing for tall femme chicks with an aggressive streak. Trixie used to do the same thing, playful, until she started refusing to touch her at all.

Manila takes Katya’s upper arms and turns her around, bringing them both from the fridge to push Katya back against the counter and kiss her. Now this is going exactly where Katya wanted it to go, and it’s messy and frantic and maybe they’re both a lot high and a little scared. Lips meet teeth and tongues mingle, delicious.

“Get up on the counter,” orders Manila, breaking the kiss, and Katya obeys, hopping up with the help of her hands. She wraps her legs around Manila’s hips and they make out some more, Manila running her hands up Katya’s muscular back under her T-shirt, and Katya’s heart beats a little faster.

Katya tries her luck sneaking her hand between them and feeling up one of Manila’s not-particularly-impressive tits. Anyone involved with Trixie Mattel, even for a brief period of time, is ruined for all other breasts afterwards.

Manila bites Katya’s bottom lip in response, and the brief shot of pain goes straight to her pussy. Katya whines, and Manila goes from her lips to her neck, sucking the sensitive spot right below Katya’s jaw, and then she pulls back, hands fumbling on the button and fly of Katya’s jeans.

“Are they building jeans more complicated all of a sudden?” mutters Manila impatiently to herself as she works Katya’s fly open and Katya laughs, lifting herself up on her hands like the athlete she is- correction, once was, as Manila finally manages to get the fly down and pulls her jeans and underwear down to her knees.

Sitting back down ass naked on the counter is hilarious and Katya giggles, and then there’s the matter of working the jeans down to her ankles while Manila returns to Katya’s neck with a vengeance, kissing and sucking, and generally sending tingles up and down her spine. Manila roughly shoves Katya’s legs apart and drops to her knees.

And now it’s time for the best part and it’s the best part because, simply put, Manila might not be very smart (Trixie’s smarter than her despite her endless dumb blonde jokes) but Manila’s really fucking good at eating pussy.

Any dyke in Boston will tell you if you ask.

So Katya lets out this strangled gasp as Manila goes in with that fantastic mouth of hers, and Katya tangles her hands in that black curly hair and shivers and whines and tries to open her legs as wide as humanly possible without falling off the counter.

“Yes, god yes, ha, fuck-“ babbles Katya, caught up between gasps of laughter. She’s always been expressive.

The pressure builds as Katya rocks her hips, and Manila pushes fingers inside her and flicks her tongue over her clit in that way that makes Katya’s eyes roll back. Her head falls back and smacks against the cupboard behind her, and Katya throws one hand back to catch herself, scrambling to stay upright, as Manila holds her legs steady, in charge.

“Ow! Uh no, not you- oh fuck yes-”

It feels so good, it’s like a rollercoaster, building building building. Manila does that thing with her tongue again, glancing up to meet Katya’s eyes for a second, and Katya sees stars.

Two or three orgasms later, Manila stands up and leaves Katya gasping through the aftermath of the last one on her own. Wiping her mouth with the back of her wrist, Manila leans in and captures Katya’s lips in a brief kiss.

“You want your turn?” says Katya, as her breath returns to normal. She hops off the counter, brushes the crumbs off her ass and pulls her underwear back up but doesn’t bother with her jeans yet, stepping out of them.

Manila nods. Manila’s turn is usually after Katya’s unless it’s one of those rare nights where Katya doesn’t want anything, doesn’t want to be touched at all, which happens sometimes. Trixie was always understanding, she was so loving, so patient. Manila is less so. But Katya has a lot less patience for her, too.

“Meet you in the bedroom,” says Manila, grabbing a lipstick-stained glass from the pile of dishes by the sink and filling it from the tap. To wash out the taste of pussy, Katya presumes.

Katya picks up her jeans and heads to the bathroom, pausing at the coffee table to cut out another line of blow and put it up her nose, while Manila does the same, except her trajectory is to the bedroom. As Katya washes her hands she stares into the mirror. Dark circles under her manic hazel eyes. Dryish lips. A weird pimple on her jaw that came out of nowhere. Straw-blonde hair up in a greasy top-knot. White T-shirt with Bob Ross on the front. But she’s wearing her favourite earrings, the ones that are dangly little plastic hands. Heh. Katya manages a smile. Those earrings always make her smile.

But what the fuck are they going to do with all that cocaine-

No time for that now, Katya breaks eye contact with herself and dries her hands, because it’s time to fuck Manila and fucking Manila is always an event.

In the bedroom, Manila has taken off her leather jacket but not her dress, and holds her phone in one hand, glaring down at it. She’s pushing forty but she still looks good and for a moment Katya just admires her figure in that short black lace nude illusion dress that hilariously doesn’t match her skin tone, and those long, fantastic legs.

They make eye contact across the room.

“Fuck me.”

It’s an order. Manila is always in control.

Katya crosses the room, leaning in to initiate the kiss. Softer this time, as Katya touches the back of Manila’s neck, and moves her bare legs against Manila’s own and eventually drops her hands down to grip her ass.

They stumble to the bed, and it only takes a quick confirmation for Katya to know what Manila wants. Katya’s on top of her, pressing her arms down, and pushing her thigh between Manila’s legs so she can grind on it. They furiously make out even as Katya’s gut is tightening, is reminding her, hey, you just saw this woman shoot a man-

As Manila’s breath gets heavier, Katya ignores the doubt and sits up and gets off the bed. Manila turns over, and slides herself back so that she’s bent over the edge of the bed, taking in a breath of anticipation. Her dress is riding up, and Katya can see the crotch of Manila’s plain blue cotton underwear. It’s damp.

Katya steps back and digs under the bed for her harness and strap-on, the one that she’s taken to leaving here. Hurriedly, Katya does up the leather harness and puts the dildo in place. It’s purple. Trixie used to wear it, and Katya would get on top and ride it enthusiastically, expressive, words of love and lust tumbling from her while Trixie gripped her thighs and smiled and fucked it up into her, her blonde hair splayed out on the mattress like a halo- Katya clicks it on to vibrate, angles it so that the end rests against her clit through her underwear and then gets down on her knees.

Manila props herself up on her elbows, and peers over her shoulder at Katya, her dark eyes intense and expecting. She licks her lips. It sends a jolt down Katya’s spine.

“Are you wet for me?” asks Katya in a filthy, half-joking tone.

“Why don’t you find out?’ replies Manila.

Katya decisively pushes Manila’s dress up to her waist and pulls her underwear down, and grabs her ass cheeks, squeezing, before running her knuckles across Manila’s pussy, to check. Manila sighs, and shuts her eyes. Katya isn’t sure who Manila’s imagining behind those eyelids, and she doesn’t ask. When Katya shuts her eyes it’s always Trixie.

On her lower back, Manila has a tramp stamp of the gemini symbol with a stylized little tail on the end. It’s ridiculous because as Katya knows well, Manila’s birthday is in October. Manila was getting it covered, redesigned into a monarch butterfly, but it’s half-done so only one side of it hosts a delicate orange wing.

She ran out of money for the other half.

Katya takes a moment to slips fingers into Manila and to stroke her clit and make sure she’s really ready, until Manila practically growls and looks back at her, widening her legs. She hates being teased. Well whatever, Katya’s not going to say no to fucking the pussy before her so she lubes up the gently vibrating strap-on, lines up and, because she’s a softie, slides it in gently, taking care.

She knows Manila doesn’t want her to take care, Manila wants her to slam it in and fuck her like she means it, but Katya learned to take care from Trixie and now she can’t (or won’t) unlearn it. Manila gasps, gripping the tangled, dirty sheets.

Katya snaps her hips forward, filling Manila and thrusting repeatedly, her hands on Manila’s hips, pressing her fingers into the crease where they’re bent.

Manila moans and curses, and Katya sets a good rhythm, because she knows it won’t take long. Manila pushes her ass back against Katya, and the sudden shift in movement makes Katya almost lose her balance again, arm reeling out to the side as she falls back on her heels, the strap-on sliding unceremoniously out of Manila.

“Oops,“ laughs Katya.

“Did you just fall?” says Manila glancing back at her, amused.

Katya giggles and Manila chuckles too, and maybe there’s a moment of love between them, for a split second. Katya gets back up and strokes the curve of Manila’s hip, then grabs it and fucks her hard, and Manila releases a passionate moan. The opposite end of the dildo rubs against Katya, and it feels nice, not enough to make her come again, but-

It’s all over fairly quickly, and as Manila arches her back and curses her way to a messy, satisfying finish.

And then there’s all the post-sex rituals to go though; Manila sitting up, slightly dazed, and pulling her dress down and wandering over to the bathroom. Katya unbuckling the harness, and listening to the water run. Manila returns for fresh underwear from the clean laundry basket by the bed that she hasn’t bothered to fold or put away, and then Katya goes to the bathroom to clean the dildo and comes back and tosses it back into the plastic bin under the bed with the harness, and the problem they’re faced with washes back over them.

They kiss briefly for the look of the thing, just because they’re supposed to afterwards or whatever, but maybe there’s some affection in it. Katya puts her jeans back on and then the fun’s over.

“Okay,” says Manila, pacing her bedroom as Katya sits cross-legged on the end of the bed, slumped, “Okay, who do we know?”

“Adore?”

“Amateur hour, no.”

“Violet?”

“She deals E and molly, she won’t touch coke.”

“Crystal?”

“Methyd? It’s in her fucking name, Katya-”

“Bob?”

“Moved to New York last I heard-“

“Alaska?”

“What? No. Fuck, I can’t believe Latrice is still mad at me-”

Katya’s list is over. Katya stares at the ugly carpet, and watches Manila pace. There’s another option that Katya hasn’t had the guts to bring up, until now.

“Your ex,” says Katya. Manila won’t stand to hear her name spoken aloud. It’s a ridiculous habit that Katya barely has the patience for.

“No-“

“She’s the only one with the buying capacity for this.”

“We’re not going to her.”

Katya throws up her hands, “If we sell this amount to anyone in the city she’ll know about it anyway!”

Manila stares at the dusty window.

“It’s not-“ begins Katya, and the hair stands up on the back of her neck and she releases a nervous giggle as the horrible possibility occurs to her, pointing to the bricks of cocaine on Manila’s coffee table in the other room, “That’s not hers, is it?”

“No,” says Manila abruptly, worry lining her face for a second, turning back to Katya, “No way, those weren’t her guys, she doesn’t hire guys like that. Those guys were fucking idiots. Besides, they'd’ve been ta-”

Katya breathes a sigh of relief, and Manila cuts herself off. There are two major gangs that run Boston’s underbelly, that bring in drugs and keep the crime organized. Katya’s on good terms with the north side guys, she knows a couple of them from way back and they don’t bother her. She works for them occasionally, when she’s gonna be short on rent. But Manila’s ex runs the other gang, and she’s powerful and dangerous.

The Gemini is not to be fucked with.

“Wait!” exclaims Manila, her eyes going wide and expressive for a moment, “What about your friend- your friend, what’s her name…?” Manila snaps her fingers frantically, as if to jog her memory.

Katya just looks at her, skeptical.

“Uh, uh,” says Manila, still snapping. “You know her, uh, she’s Laotian, short, great ass-“

“Jujubee?” says Katya, in complete disbelief.

“Yes!” says Manila, triumphantly. “Her.”

“No,” replies Katya, mouth twisting, “She’s not involved anymore, she said she’s getting sober and getting out-“

“Yeah whatever, everyone says they’re ‘getting sober and getting out.’ You said that.”

The words hurt. Katya looks down, drawing in a breath, the shame crushing her for a moment. Manila indulges all of Katya’s worst sides. Manila parties hard, she disappears and re-appears with new and better stories every time, she’s doesn’t get sad, she never gets tired, she encourages, she enables, she’s always in control, and it’s so, so hard to let go of her. Even when Trixie had given Katya the ultimatum.

Especially when Trixie had given her the ultimatum.

“Fuck,” says Katya, standing up and stalking back into the living room. “Fine, you wanna go hassle a dead end, whatever-“

“She’s not gonna be a dead end,” argues Manila, shrugging her leather jacket back on and following Katya, “I bet she still knows people who’ll buy. We have to shift at least some of this shit and quick, and maybe she’ll take it. We sell it to her on the cheap, she’s happy, we’re happy. Who cares what she does with it?”

Manila’s cynicism is so oddly pragmatic, so heavy. It’s crushing even Katya’s own cynicism, which is a weary weight to drag around. But it’s so hard for Katya to say no to Manila, saying no to Manila always comes with caveats.

“Fine,” agrees Katya, grinding her teeth, taking her phone out and firing off a quick text to Jujubee.

“Great,” replies Manila, and walks over to pick up the duffel bag next to the table, and begins shoving the neatly wrapped bricks of cocaine into it. She dumps some of the opened-up brick into a loose little ziplock baggie for easy access, rubs a bit on her gums, then puts the baggie into the duffel bag too.

There’s a sudden leak of noise as a car goes by outside, blasting music loud enough that Katya can hear the lyrics drift up into the apartment.

“Loving you forever can’t be wrong, even though you’re not here won’t move on-“

As quickly as the song arrives, it fades. Katya picks up her car keys, and wonders what Trixie’s up to right about now.

#rpdr fanfiction #katya zamolodchikova #manila luzon #katya x manila #lesbian au #rare pair #fic challenge #smut #angst #heist au #unreliable narrator #control #dartmouth420 #tw drug addiction #tw off-screen gun violence #tw codependent relationship

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

Text

Blind (Rajila) - Imposterzoe

AN: Not that anyone cares but this is an homage to my first fic that I wrote one year ago today! Thanks to Mistress for beta-ing and hope you enjoy. IZ

Manila had been staring at Raja for a while. She knew she'd been staring at Raja for a while.

"Nila, you're staring." Latrice points out.

She replied immediately. "No I'm not."

Latrice rolled her eyes. "Girl, at least try to be discreet."

"I'm not doing anything!" She insists.

"Then look at me for more than ten seconds."

It takes a second for her to tear her gaze from across the room but once she does she promptly starts a countdown in her head.

"Happy now?" She teases, trying not to turn her head.

Latrice stares at her. "Good god get a grip girl! You're drooling!"

She wipes her mouth on instinct, accidentally smearing her lipstick all down her chin.

"Oh great!" She mutters, grabbing a makeup wipe.

Her intense stare is turned to the mirror as she dabs at the lipstick.

"Damn Heather!" That damned voice cries from behind her. "I forgot how good you looked with your lipstick smeared everywhere."

Desperately trying to keep all her blood above the waist, she simply raises her middle finger above her head.

Raja laughs as Manila sucks her teeth, resigning herself to just redoing her lipstick entirely.

She grabs a few more wipes, trying not to focus on the thin, tattooed arm that bobs in and out of her vision as Raja talks to Latrice.

"Wait Nila, you missed a spot."

Before she could think, the wipe is plucked from her hand and Raja grabs her face.

She wonders if Raja could hear the sharp breath that left her as she was faced with eyes that were the deepest brown she'd ever seen.

Raja carefully wipes under Manila’s bottom lip and the concentration on her face had Manila's full attention.

"God you're beautiful." She whispers without thinking. Raja's hand freezes and her heart drops.

"Thanks Heather." She mumbles, releasing Manila's face.

She blushes, thinking fast. "Thanks for what? I was talking to my reflection."

They both break into laughter, relieved to have broken the tension. However, once the laughter dies down, they're left staring at each other, something unspoken in the air.

"Hey Raja, come here a sec!" Raven calls, yanking them back to reality.

Raja starts to go but Manila grabs her hand. She turns, staring expectantly.

"Uh... Drinks after the show?" She squeaks, her voice fully crapping out on her.

"Yeah." Raja responds enthusiastically. "Wanna just come back to mine?"

She smiles. "Yeah that sounds great."

"Raj!" Raven shouts.

"I'm comin'! Damn!" She calls back. She turns back to Manila, swiping her thumb under her lip.

Her eyes dip down and for a second Manila thinks she sees them darken.

"I'd hurry and re-apply that." She mumbles.

It occurs to Manila that she never released Raja's hand. It also occurs to her that she doesn't want to.

It's a physical strain to slack her fingers and her hand feels empty as Raja shoots across the room.

She turns back around to find Latrice has been watching her.

"What?" She snaps, digging her lipstick from her makeup bag.

Latrice rose and leaned into her ear. "Y'know, since you're redoing stuff I'd give that tuck some attention." Then she's gone.

Manila looks down and flushes as she sees her extremely obvious boner through her dress. How did she not feel her tuck pop? Did Raja see that?

She groans, laying her head on the table. "Of course she saw that. And not only do I have to reapply my lipstick, I have to rub one out in the bathroom and re-tuck. All in the next…" she checks her phone. "20 minutes."

A tired sigh escapes her as she raises her head. She swipes her lipstick on and definitely doesn't stare at Raja through the mirror. She just doesn't.

~~~~~~~~~~

Raja watches Manila scurry off into the bathroom and tries to ignore the urge to follow her.

"Raja!" Raven yells half an inch from her face.

She flinches before pushing Raven's face away. "What?!" She yells back.

Raven rolls her eyes. "God, you and Manila are gonna go blind, staring at each other the way you do."

"We don't stare." She responds, absently mussing her hair in the mirror.

"Liar. You guys have heart eyes everytime I turn around."

She rolls her eyes. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Mhmm sure. Just make sure you blink every now and again."

"Shut up."

She sees Manila emerge from the bathroom in the reflection, looking slightly frazzled. Turning in her chair, Raja watches her friend walk shakily back to her station.

Concern edges into her features and she wonders if she should go over there.

"Blink!" Raven hisses in her ear and she jumps so violently, she almost falls from her chair.

By the time anyone turns to look, all they see is a pissed Raja drilling punches into Raven's shoulder as she laughs hysterically.

And Raja doesn't blush when she sees Manila smiling at her. She just doesn't.

[...]

The show goes well. Or as well as it can with Raven whispering, "Blink," in Raja’s ear every now and then.

It would annoy her more if it wasn't whispered every time her eyes hadn't shut in 30 seconds.

She slid over to Manila, murmuring in her ear, "Drinks at mine, right?"

She jumps at first, but smiles warmly. "Yeah. You can go ahead though. I'm gonna de-drag and hit my hotel room first."

"Cool, can't wait."

And butterflies don't swarm in their stomachs as they part. They just don't.

~~~~~~~~~~

Karl lightly knocked on the door, ignoring the pounding of his heart.

The door flew open and he almost dropped the wine in his hands. Between the very low cut tank top and shorts Sutan wore, the amount of exposed skin was making Karl's mouth water.

"Jeez Heather, just kill me why don't ya." He jokes weakly.

"Ha ha." Sutan responds dryly, grabbing his free hand and pulling him into the house, slamming the door shut.

There's a beat of silence as they stare at each other, hands still linked.

"So…" Karl starts.

"So…" Sutan echoes.

"So… wine?" Karl hefts the bottle.

"Yup!" Sutan releases his hand and walks toward the kitchen.

He trails behind, plunking the bottle on the table while Sutan grabs glasses and a bottle opener.

"So why were you trying to kill Raven earlier?" Karl asks, attempting to break the tension.

Sutan snorts. "Because he thinks he's funny." He turns, placing a glass in front of each of them.

Opening the bottle, he asks a question of his own. "What happened in the bathroom? You looked like you lost a fight with the hand dryer."

Karl flushes crimson. "First off, the hand dryer fights dirty, so fuck you."

They both laugh as Sutan fills the glasses. He raises his in a toast. "Well then to lost dryer fights."

Karl taps their glasses. "To you going to fuck yourself."

"Fuck me yourself coward!" Sutan responds, sipping his wine.

"You're acting like I wouldn't." Karl mumbles into his glass, draining a fourth of it in one gulp.

"What?"

They exchange blank stares before Sutan shakes his head.

"You know what Raven said?"

"No I don't, Raja. Enlighten me to the wisdom of Raven." He picks up on the slightest hint of jealousy in his tone. He's confused by it.

Because he wasn't jealous. He had no reason to be. He didn't. Right?

Sutan swallows hard. Did his dick twitch ever so slightly in his shorts at Karl's tone? No, no of course not. Who finds jealousy sexy anyway?

I do. He thinks to himself.

"Uh… anyway. He, uh, he said that we're gonna go blind from staring at each other." God it sounded stupid out loud.

"We don't stare." Karl murmurs.

"Yeah I know. But he said we always have heart eyes when we're together."

"Can we stop talking about Raven?" He snaps, draining his glass.

Sutan tops him off, biting his lip. "Do you think we're blind, Karl?"

He sighs, swirling his glass. "Well I don't know about you, Grandma but last I checked I can see perfectly fine."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant but I think I'd know if I was in love with my best friend."

They both freeze, tension filling the room. Sutan takes a huge gulp of wine, eyes on the floor.

"Yeah uh, that wasn't exactly my point either." He murmurs, clearing his throat.

"Plus," he adds with a wry smile, "We both know you're absolutely obsessed with the beauty that is me." He strikes a pose.

You have no idea. Karl thinks as he chuckles. "Oh please. We both know you're the obsessed one."

"Why you so obsessed with me?" They both shout at once, promptly falling into hysterics.

They talk about nothing for a bit, polishing off the bottle and opening another. Before long they were well into the land of tipsy.

"Hey at least my tuck didn't pop!" Sutan cackled, in response to a quip he didn't really remember.

Karl banged his glass to the table. "I knew you saw that! Why didn't you tell me?" He demands.

"Why did it pop in the first place?" Sutan counters. "All I was doing was wiping off your lipstick!"

"Well if you weren't looking at me with bedroom eyes while you were doing it, maybe it wouldn't have popped!"

He snorts. "If I was looking at you with bedroom eyes, believe me you'd know." He smirks into his glass. "I mean, unless you're as blind as Raven says."

"Oh please." Karl rolls his eyes. "How would that even work? We're both tops."

"You'd bottom for me and we both know it." Sutan replies smugly.

"Oh would I?" He challenges.

There was a glint in Sutan's eye and he leaned across the table. "Most definitely."

Karl sighed, leaning in as well. "You know what I hate?"

He blushes as Sutan's breath hits his lips. "What's that?"

"I hate that you're goddamn right." Then he grabs Sutan's face and presses their lips together.

But the wine screws with his orientation and he hits Sutan's cheek more than his lips.

Sutan pulls back, hand going to Karl's neck.

"What're ya blind?" He growls before kissing Karl's lips forcefully. He quickly presses his tongue into Karl's mouth, tasting the wine at the back of his throat.

Karl's hands move down to his shoulders as he kisses back. He knows he isn't thinking straight but he couldn't care if he tried.

Sutan leans in further, grabbing him by the waist and walking him around the table.

He follows quickly, clambering into Sutan's lap. He whimpers as he feels Sutan's barely clothed erection against his own and Sutan smirks.

Not to be outdone, Karl grinds lightly a smirk of his own forming as Sutan moans into his mouth.

Sutan's mouth moves down to his neck and sucks hard. Suddenly he snaps back to reality.

"Oh fuck. Sutan wait, stop." He presses Sutan's shoulders as his neck is released.

"What? What?" Sutan mumbles, his eyes dark and his lips swollen. Karl stares.

"God you're beautiful." He whispers, one hand going up to caress the man's cheek.

"Thank you but why'd you wanna stop? What's up?" There's concern on his face and his hands move down to rub Karl's back.

"Huh? Oh nothing." He responds lightly.

The concern turns to confusion which turns to irritation. "Then why did you stop me?"

Karl smirks. "What're ya blind? No way in hell you're fucking me on this table."

#rpdr fanfiction #raja gemini #manila luzon #latrice royale #raven #rajila #slight angst #imposterzoe

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

Text

In Your Sleep (Multi) - ImposterZoe

AN: This has 10 different ships. I used real names (except for Trixya because Brian) and each ship is separated. Hope you enjoy! IZ

You don't have control over yourself when you're asleep.

If you are truly deep in slumber you have no real control. You may shut your mouth to stop snoring, or roll on your side to make room for someone else. But once you are lost in unconsciousness there is nothing stopping your mouth from falling back open. Nothing stopping you from rolling back over and crushing whoever you're sharing a bed with.

On a lonely night in small hotels across the world, many queens find out how much they do with the little control sleep leaves a person.

~~~~~

(Shalaska)

Aaron snores in his bed, a habit Justin always despised. Justin can't help but glare at the bed opposite of him. They were both exhausted and he just wanted to sleep.

"Can you not?" he whines to the sleeping man.

Almost immediately Aaron turns on his side, the room quieting. Justin jerks back in shock.

"T-thank you," he whispers.

"Anything for you," Aaron mumbles. The room is silent after that. Justin slowly walks over to the other man. He was sleeping as soundly as ever. No sign he woke up.

He couldn't remember Aaron ever talking in his sleep before. He slowly laid back in his bed. He fades out of consciousness and those words follow him asleep.

"Anything for you."

As his mind falls away, Justin doesn't realize he says it out loud.

~~~~~

(Rajila)

Sutan and Karl didn't mind sharing a bed. Even when they had two, they preferred to share one.

That night, Karl woke up gasping, fighting his rising panic. He could feel Sutan's steady breathing behind him. It calms him but not enough. He feels a scream building up and attempts to force it down.

All of a sudden Sutan throws an arm and a leg over him, pulling him close. His hand finds Karl's face and stills on his cheek.

Karl sighs softly as he feels Sutan's heartbeat on his back. It's slow and steady. His breathing is the same way.

Karl takes a calming breath and tries to sync his breathing with Sutan's. His heart rate slows and his panic fades.

He falls back asleep with "Thank you," falling from his lips.

~~~~~

(Trixya)

Katya stared up at the ceiling, the only light in the room coming from the bright 2:00 A.M. shining from the alarm clock.

He never usually stayed up late but this quiet night had him contemplating a lot of things. At the front of his sleepless ponderings was his friendship with Trixie, who was passed out beside him. He hadn't bothered to walk to his own room and Katya hadn't bothered with the hassle of trying to make him.

Sometimes Katya wondered if Trixie really wanted to be his friend. His mind slowly started to list out the reasons why he was unlikeable when something touched his ribs.

He looks down and can't stop a smile. Trixie, the boring white guy who didn't like hugs, was nuzzling into his side.

Katya wraps an arm over Trixie's shoulders, reading his sleeping face. Instead of a real emotion all he gets from Trixie is safe.

Trixie feels safe with him and that's all it takes for Katya's doubts to melt away.

As Trixie nuzzles deeper in his side, he feels drowsiness raise like an ocean inside of him.

Succumbing to the waves, he tightens his arm around Trixie. His last thought before he goes under is one word.

Safe

~~~~~

(Branjie)

Jose is startled from dreams of a lover past. The same lover past who lays in the bed next to him. He's whimpering.

Jose raises his head best he can and fights a gasp. There is a very obvious bulge in Brock's covers. His sheets are curled in his fist and his face is red.

Jose blushes deeply. Brock mumbles something and it takes a second for Jose to decipher it. He blushes harder when he does.

"I missed you," Brock had whispered.

Jose feels hope bloom in his chest. Brock was missing someone. Maybe him.

He never stopped loving Brock and he doubted he ever would. Memories flash before his eyes.

Late night chats. Breakfast in bed. The first wondrous kiss they had alone, no cameras, PA's, or queens in sight. Making love for the first time and feeling closer than ever.

He's removed from his memories by Brock whispering, admitting his love to the person in his dreams. And the blossoming hope in Jose dies.

No. Dies sounds too sudden.

Brock whispers, "I love you, Jovan."

And it's the spark the sets Jose's hope aflame. His chest becomes an inferno. Silent tears of gasoline make their way down his face, his dying hope growing hotter.

Sleep brings a welcome relief but his dreams torture him. He watches the end over and over. Brock's words hurt him over and over. He sees what he is sure is his future, Jovan and Brock kissing. He watches in horror again and again as Jovan kisses the lips he so craves. Each kiss is a spark. Each kiss lights another part of him on fire.

As his ex wakes up and rushes to take a cold shower, Jose sleeps. And allows himself to mourn for what he has lost.

When he wakes up, he'll burn out. The lump of coal his heart has become will sit and smolder as he watches Brock pursue Jovan. Maybe one day someone will come along and smother his flames.

But for now, as his sleep is plagued with visions of his past and possible future, Jose just burns.

~~~~~

(Scyvie)

Jovan groans in irritation as he flops on his bed. He loved Jacob, he really did. But he hated sharing a room with him with a passion.

Partially due to his sleep-rambling. It was fucking awful. Jovan laid down, desperate to get to get to sleep before Jacob. He could sleep through it, so long as he fell asleep first.

Unfortunately, Jovan was a person who stayed up late with his thoughts. Even when he was bone tired, he couldn't just pass out. Jacob was a person who could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

So when he mumbled, "Good night," and immediately fell asleep, Jovan seriously considered asking to room with someone else.

He sighed softly, relinquishing himself to having a conversation with an unconscious person. He was just managing to nod off when it started.

"Where are you going?" a small voice whispered. Jacob sounded like a child. A scared child.

Jovan frowned. This was new. Usually Jacob's sleep ramblings were about ponies and how much he loved his moms. Mostly ponies.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jovan whispered. For some reason he felt like if he raised his voice, Jacob would become genuinely frightened.

Jacob's sleeping face contorted. "Then why are you running away? Are you running from me?" His voice was still small. Scared.

It made Jovan want to cry. "No. I would never run from you. Why would you think that?"

Jacob shifted his body, his face still scared and confused. "You ran from Brooke. I thought that meant I was next."

Jovan flinched at the mention of Brooke. "I'm not running from anyone. I'm right here."

He gets up and carefully grabs Jacob's hand, pressing it to his face. "See? I'm right here."

Jacob rubbed his face, but he's still frowning. "But you're still going away. Please don't run from me."

Jovan crawled into the bed, pulling Jacob into his arms. "I'm not running. I promise. I'm here."

Jacob grips him tight, his face even more fearful.

"You don't think you are. But you're moving away." Jacob's grip gets even tighter. "Please stop running. I can't keep up. I don't wanna lose my best friend. Please."

Tears fall slowly from Jovan's eyes. He gripped Jacob back. He barely caught the last few words.

"Why? Why are you running?"

Jovan flinched. He didn't need to have this conversation. He could go to his own bed and throw headphones in on full blast. Shack up with someone else for the night. Wake Jacob up and tell him to stay up until he fell asleep.

His flinched harder when he realized he was just thinking of ways to run away.

Something about the fact that Jacob is asleep makes it easier for him to confess.

"I'm scared ok? I'm running… I ran from Brooke because we were drunk and he said he loved me. It scared me. So I ran and I'm still fucking running. I didn't mean to run from you. I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm still so scared."

Jovan's crying. It wakes Jacob.

"Woah! What's wrong babe?" he cries in shock. He never remembers the things he said in his sleep or the things said to him. Jovan is grateful for it.

He mumbles something about a nightmare and allows Jacob to hold him as he cries.

He whispers that he was scared and doesn't tell Awake Jacob how deep it goes. Sleep Jacob knew how deep it goes but those sides of Jacob never exchanged memories.

His tears tire him out and he's swept into sleep. He slumbers and prays to anyone who was listening that when he woke, he'd finally be ready to stop running.

~~~~~

(Ninex)

Andrew was someone who really liked his personal space. Kevin was someone who lived to invade that space at every given opportunity.

When they were stuck in a room with one bed, Andrew originally opted to sleep on the floor.

But with a bat of his eyes and pleading voice, Kevin convinces him to share the bed.

They're facing away from each other when they fall asleep. Something wakes Kevin up.

He looks around and lets out a soft, "aw!" when he looks down. Andrew was a person who loved space. But as he was lost in dreams, he had turned around and was spooning Kevin.

He felt Andrew's head on his shoulder and his arm was tight around his waist.

Kevin slowly reaches for his phone and switches to the camera. He's about to snap the picture when he focuses on Andrew's face.

There's the slightest hint of a smile as he nuzzles into Kevin's shoulder. There's a contentedness that Kevin hasn't seen before even when Andrew was with Brock.

He locks his phone and sets it down. He leans his head back against Andrew's. He didn't need to capture this moment.

As he shuts his eyes, a smile on his own face, he lives in this moment. As he dreams, Andrew holds him tighter.

Andrew likes his space, but as he slept the only thing he wanted was someone to share it with. And Kevin was more than happy to oblige.

~~~~~

(Pearlet)

Jason was a light sleeper. It only took the slightest bump to wake them up. So when they were bone tired after a long gig, they begged Matt to keep it down for the night.

Matt assured them he'd be quiet. But once he was asleep there wasn't much he could do.

It's midnight exactly when Jason is startled awake. It's only been a few hours and they were so tired. As they focus their eyes, they're startled back.

They aren't sure if they're awake or not as they stare at the figure standing in the corner. There was a book on the floor that had been knocked over. Jason knew that's what woke them up.

They keep their eyes on the figure and fight to keep calm. They softly call out to Matt but there's no reply. They call again, fighting panic as they become more and more sure that a person is in the corner.

All of a sudden the figure takes a lumbering step forward. Jason presses against the pillows, frozen. They want to call for Matt again but their voice refuses to work as the figure moves closer to them.

Jason tries to force words out but fear has him paralyzed. The figure seemed walks stiffly but gets closer nonetheless.

It reaches the end of the bed and stretches out a hand. It reaches for Jason's face. Matt needed to wake up. Now.

Jason's words rush out of them loud and scared.

"Wake up, Pearl!" They scream. They're crying, leaning back from the pale hand. Matt wakes up and seems shocked.

By the fact that he's standing at the end of Jason's bed, reaching towards their face.

"What the- ?" he whispers. Jason yelps at the voice. They're freaked out.

Matt takes a deep breath. "Go to sleep Jason. It's ok."

It takes a while to get Jason back to sleep but Matt manages. He doesn't risk laying down. He didn't want to scare Jason again with his sleepwalking.

So as Jason gets the sleep they so crave, Matt stays up, refusing to relinquish control to his slumber anymore tonight.

~~~~~

(Biadore)

Roy sighed as he stared at Danny's face. This was the reason he hated watching movies with the younger queen. He got about half way through one, even if he picked it himself, before he passed out on Roy's shoulder.

So Roy decided to focus on his twitter for awhile, whatever movie they were watching, turning into background noise.

He's enthralled with his phone when he picks up a strange sound and movement on his shoulder.

Glancing down, he sees Danny rocking back and forth while humming to the tune of the song playing from the movie.

"Danny?" Roy whispers.

Danny doesn't respond, continuing to hum to himself.

"You're still sleeping," Roy meant it as a question but it comes out a statement. He can't help but smile warmly as Danny continues to hum along in his sleep.

Roy doesn't realize he put his phone down as he watches Danny. He doesn't realize he lowers his head on top of Danny's.

As sleep captures him, he doesn't realize that he's humming with Danny. All he knows is that he doesn't stop smiling.

~~~~~

(Naochi)

Davis and Sang have weird sleep habits. But neither of them will know of the other's habits until this night.

Sang wakes up first. There's a scratching sound that's making him insane. Rubbing his eyes, he looks over at Davis.

The taller man is lying still, his face crammed in the pillow. But as Sang looks closer, he notices Davis' hand moving on the nightstand.

Sliding out of bed, he walks to the other side of Davis' bed. He takes a glance and promptly covers his mouth to keep from laughing to loud.

There was a sketchbook on the stand and the scratching sound came from the pencil in Davis’ hand.

He was sketching... in his sleep.

Sang giggled as he slowly took the pencil from Davis' hand. Davis groaned in protest and swung his hand out, knocking the sketchbook to the floor.

Sang calmly grabbed the hand and set it by Davis' side. It stopped moving and he leaned down to pick up the sketchbook. The page was full of scribbles.

"This explains most of your outfits," he mumbles. Chuckling to himself, he put it back on the nightstand and laid back in bed. As sleep took hold of him, it was Davis' turn to see what Sang did in his sleep.

[...]

Davis raises his head, scratching his hair. There's a strange rustling sound that hurts his ears. It came from the other side of the room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he whisper-shouts at Sang. There's no answer but the rustling doesn't stop.

Groaning, Davis gets up and walks toward the other bed. Sang was on his side, the blanket covering his body but Davis could see that his arm was moving.

He leans forward and slowly peels the blanket back. As he gets a good look at Sang, he only has one question.

"Where in the hell did you get a cookie?"

Sang snores in reply as he brings the cookie back to his mouth, taking a small bite. He mumbles to himself as he chews.

Slowly, Davis eases the cookie from his friends grasp. Sang grunts in protest but snuggled deeper into the pillow. Davis just shook his head with a laugh and set the cookie on Sang's nightstand.

Slipping back into bed, Davis sighs softly. He drifts off, one last question hitting him before he goes under.

Who scribbled in my sketchbook?

~~~~~

(Witney)

Willam knew all about the lack of control that came with sleep and he used it to his advantage.

When he shares a room with Shane, he makes sure to pull out all the stops. Once Shane is asleep, his fun begins.

Opting for one of the classics, he pulls out his shaving cream. Slowly putting some in Shane's hand, he watches his face for signs of alertness.

Grabbing a feather off one of the boas strewn around the room, something else catches his eye. On the table there's some black face paint Willam boosted off of Sharon for no real reason. This was perfect.

Carefully smearing the paint on Shane's other hand, he grabs the feather. Slowly tickling Shane's nose, he waits for his instincts to kick in.

He doesn't have to wait long.

With surprising force, Shane smacks his shaving cream filled hand to his face. There's a quiet moment as Shane sits there with his hand on his face, obviously awake now.

"WILLAM!" he roars in anger.

The man in question cracks up, falling back on his bed. Shane swipes at the shaving cream on his face with his other hand.

Willam cracks up again as Shane smears a black line across his face. Running into the bathroom, Shane screams at the sight of his face.

"What have you done?!" he screams from the bathroom. Willam just howls in response.

Shane takes a long time to scrub his face clean. When he comes back out, Willam is sprawled on his bed, passed out with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

Shane snarls. Two can and will play at this game. Grabbing a bowl from the small kitchenette, he fills it up with warm water. If Willam wanted to act childish so would he.

He slowly submerges Willam's hand, keeping a careful watch on his face. Once he was sure Willam wouldn't wake up he slipped back into his own bed. Before he knows it, he's back to sleep.

He sleeps through Willam cursing heavily and the awkward call to the main desk for more sheets. He sleeps through Willam's 5 minute long glare.

He only wakes once to Willam's laugh.

"Touche," he chuckles. Shane allows himself to drift off again, a smile of his own gracing his face.

He also sleeps through Willam rubbing baby oil on his toes but that's neither here nor there.

~~~~~

People have no real control over themselves when they sleep. Some talk. Some snore. Some seek closeness. Some just sleep.

I could tell you about Sasha's crazed sleep Russian that scares the shit outta Shea.

Or about Jujubee's need to latch onto Raven in the middle of the night.

Or Thorgy waking Betty up by screaming, "Fuck you Bob!"

But I think you get the jist. You could be the most control seeking person in the world. But you still need to sleep.

No matter what happens, you relinquish your control to your slumber each time. So you accept it.

You could be the most control seeking person in the world. But no matter what, it will no longer be yours.

Not in your sleep.

#rpdr fanfiction #shalaska #rajila #branjie #scyvie #ninex #pearlet #witney #biadore #naochi #canon compliant #imposterzoe #concrit welcome

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Not Saying A word- Rajila- Musical Challange - EmoWithOddSocks

A/N: I finally came up with something for this challenge.

This is based on the musical Blood Brothers, the song Not Saying A Word is a declaration of love to someone but insisting that they stay with another who loves them.

In the musical it is a love triangle between Micky, Eddie and Linda. Eddie confesses all the things he would do if he and Linda were together but insists that she stay with Micky who is also in love with her.

The love triangle here is between Raja, Manila and Raven.

enjoy!

Nights walking the streets together, hand in hand or arms linked. The streetlights their only guides after the sun had set and no stars nor moon could be found in the sky above.

Stories and jokes shared between them, even if heard a hundred times before still brought tears to eyes as they laughed.

To the onlooker they were simply kids, just kids not yet ready for the trials of life. Their possibilities endless with the world at their fingertips.

If only life could stay like this forever. Dreams still hoping to come true and the idea of being in love still a pleasure not a curse.

Who would tell the girl in the middle of the pair the price she’d pay for just being there.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I know Manila, I’ll miss you too.”

Sitting in the park at 10pm, no one to bother them as they lent against each watching the cigarette smoke dance around.

Manila rested her head against the taller girls shoulder, wondering if this would be the last time she ever would.

“Raven will too ya know, she just won’t admit it.” She mumbled but Raja was not listening, too trapped in her own thoughts.

“She loves you.”

Raja paused from where she was about to take another drag of her cigarette.

“She loves you more, just doesn’t show it the way I would.”

Manila tilted her head slightly so that she could look up at Raja’s face. No such beauty could ever be replicated from this girl, Raja was unique and Manila had fallen hard.

“How would you show me?”

Raja gave an amused smile.

There would not be a day

In which I’d not think of you

Raja dropped her cigarette to the floor and stomped out the last of the dying embers with the heel of her boot. She then wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.

”Did you mean all that?” Manila reached to return the hug.

“Yes,” Raja’s heart began to beat faster and faster as if it would explode at any moment. She leaned down to press their lips together.

It was perfect. Too perfect.

Raja quickly pulled back, fighting off the tears that were threatening to appear as she took one last look at Manila

“Raven. She’s the one you should be with.”

#rpdr fanfiction #rajila #angst #love triangle #raven #manila luzon #raja gemini #fic challenge #musical theatre challenge #emowithoddsocks #musical theatre au #THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICALS EVER!!! -V

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Make Sure You're Safe (Rajila)- athena2

A/N: Manila calls Sutan after some guys hurt her in a club. He comes to get her and takes care of her after, while they both deal with their feelings toward what happened. There is some violence and injury. It’s not graphic, but do be cautious. Also, a HUGE thank you to @artificalniamh for being an awesome beta!

His cell phone rang and jolted him out of sleep. Startled, Sutan grabbed around for his phone, barely registering the time, 1:19, and the name Manila on the display through sleepy, half-open eyes.

“Girl, this better be good. It’s 1 in the fucking morning,” he mumbled, voice rough from sleep.

“Sutan…” The voice was weak and shaky and it sounded like she’d been crying. There was a pause after, a pause that went on a little too long and sent Sutan into an immediate panic.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He was out of the bed without even realizing, waiting for her to respond.

A few more agonizing seconds passed. “I… something happened. Can-can you pl-please come get me?” She was sobbing now, barely able to get out the words.

“Okay, honey, it’s okay. I’ll be right there. Where are you?” he ran around the room throwing on clothes and was already out the door before Manila even told him the club she was at. Luckily, it was only about a 10-minute drive and he’d been there before. He promised Manila he’d be there right away, only to become panicked when she abruptly hung up.

Sutan broke God knows how many traffic laws on his way, his sheer anxiety over what could have happened to her fueling his drive. The rational part of his brain reasoned that if she was able to call him, it couldn’t be that bad, but it didn’t stop the irrational side of him from running through a dozen scenarios of what could have happened, each one worse and slightly more ridiculous than the last. By the time he got to the club his mind was buzzing with Get to Manila. He ran to the back, where he knew the dressing rooms were and where he figured Manila had to be.

There were three queens outside one of the doors. Sutan was surprised to see one of them was Latrice. He had no idea she was even in town. The other two looked familiar and he was sure he knew them, but he didn’t have the space in his mind to remember their names. He needed to see Manila.

“Oh, Sutan, thank God,” Latrice said.

“Is Manila…” he trailed off. He couldn’t voice his fear that something terrible had happened to her.

“She went outside to get some air and there were these guys…we don’t really know what happened. A bunch of us heard her yelling so we went out there and they were all over her. We got them off and then she ran in here. She said she wouldn’t open the door until you got here, so we don’t know what they did to her,” Latrice supplied. “They ran when we got out there. Good thing too, because they would have taken those fuckers outta here in a body bag by the time I got done with them,” she fumed.

Sutan could barely process the information. All he got from it was that Manila was hurt and needed him.

“Okay. Okay,” he repeated, trying to calm himself down. He distractedly ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea how badly Manila was hurt or if he’d even be able to help her. “Um, do you think you can make sure no one tries to come in here?”

“Of course. Ain’t nobody gonna mess with me tonight,” Latrice replied, and Sutan took comfort in knowing she’d guard the door with her life. She and the other two moved from the door to let him through.

“Hey, Manila, it’s me. I’m here. Will you let me in please?”

As the door opened his heart quickly broke. Manila’s face was a tear-streaked mess. There was a thin cut on her lower lip and a purplish blue bruise around her left eye.

“Oh, honey,” Sutan locked the door behind them and led her over to the couch in the corner. He reached out to take her hand but stopped dead in his tracks. There were light purple finger-shaped bruises wrapped around her right wrist. He felt tears form in his eyes as he thought of someone grabbing her hard enough to bruise, but he forced them to go away. He couldn’t cry right now, not when she needed him.

Sutan turned to face Manila, who had stopped crying and was looking up at him like he was the only thing keeping her whole right now. And maybe he was.

“Do you want to tell me what happened? It’s okay if you don’t,” he said gently. He figured the best thing to do was find out how badly she was hurt and whether it was something he could fix. He hoped there was nothing worse than what he could see.

“These guys at the club next door were bothering a bunch of us before the show. I went outside…I didn’t know they were still there…” she broke off into sobs. Sutan grabbed a wad of tissues from the table next to the couch and passed them over to her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, yet was afraid to do anything that might cause her more pain.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. “We can stop if you want.”

“N-no, I want to tell you,” she blew her nose and took a deep breath. “I went outside, and there they were. Like they were waiting. They just started harassing me, calling me names. Nothing I haven’t heard before, you know? I started to go back inside. I thought they’d ignore me, but one of them grabbed my wrist. I couldn’t get him off, he was so strong. He shoved me at the other one and then they just kept pushing me back and forth. One of them hit me in the eye, that’s where the bruise came from. The next thing I knew Latrice was there and I just ran. I think they only wanted to mess with me a little. If they really wanted to hurt me, they could have. The one who grabbed me was almost as tall as you and a lot bigger. He could’ve…it could’ve been a lot worse than some bruises.”

Sutan took in her story in silence. He was furious that this had happened, but grateful they hadn’t done any severe damage– and then frustrated with his gratitude. He shouldn’t have to be thankful it was only a few bruises because it shouldn’t have happened at all. He’d never been one for violence, but right now he might have joined Latrice and gone after those fuckers.

He forced himself to stay calm so he didn’t upset Manila further. “You’re sure you’re okay?” he asked finally.

“I’m sure. Really. It’s just a couple bruises. And I feel a lot better now that you’re here. I panicked before, I’m not even hurt that badly and Latrice was right there and she would have taken care of me but I just…I needed you. I’m sorry I woke you up, I know you have trouble sleeping as it is.”

“Hey, you know you don’t ever have to apologize to me, babe,” Sutan replied softly. “Especially over something like this. This is absolutely not your fault, okay? I know you’re not that hurt, but you’re obviously scared and upset and you shouldn’t have had to go through this. Girl, if I had to fly a freaking plane here, I would’ve. I’ll always make sure you’re safe.”

Manila smiled, eyes wet with tears. “I love you, Sutan. So freaking much.”

“I love you too, Manila,” he said, carefully tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I think we should get you home. Do you want to go to your place or mine? Either way, I’m staying with you. I don’t want to leave you alone tonight.”

“Yours, please.”

Sutan nodded and slowly helped Manila stand up. She gripped his right arm with her good hand, keeping herself steady as they left the dressing room.

He looked to Latrice and the other queens, who had formed a sort of guard outside the dressing room area. “Thank you for taking care of her. I’m gonna bring her home now,” he said.

Latrice nodded. “Of course, sweetie. Call me if you need anything. You take care of yourself, Manila.”

Manila grabbed his arm, a little strength back in her. “As long as you stay out of trouble, Latrice. Your ass is not going back to prison,” Manila smiled slightly and winced as it made the cut on her lip hurt. Still, Sutan took it as a good sign that she was able to call Latrice out.

“No promises, bitch,” Latrice replied fondly.

Sutan led Manila to his car, opening the door and carefully helping her get in the passenger seat. After asking one more time whether she was really okay or needed a doctor, Sutan made the drive back to his apartment. Manila rested her head against the window and Sutan stayed quiet so he wouldn’t bother her.

———————————————————————————————————-

Once Manila was through the door she felt like she could finally relax. She knew she was safe here. She dropped down on a chair at the kitchen table, thinking she might pass out right there.

Sutan was suddenly across from her at the table, glass of water in one hand and a bottle of Tylenol in the other. “Your face probably hurts, right?” he asked quietly.

“A little,” she admitted. She knew he was really worried about her when he didn’t make the obvious “well it’s killing me” joke.

Manila grabbed the glass and took 2 pills. She noticed Sutan watching her anxiously and wished he would calm down. She was fine. The bruises hardly hurt, and the fear and panic she’d felt earlier had melted away in his presence.

“Do you want to clean off your makeup?” he asked, walking to the bathroom.

“Can you do it?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m sure,” Manila trusted Sutan’s hands more than her own at this point. She knew his long, thin fingers, soft and feather light against her face, would be impossibly gentle, gentler than she could ever manage.

“Okay. Tell me if something hurts or you want me to stop, alright?”

She nodded and took a seat on the toilet. He knelt down in front of her.

He started with her good eye, rubbing the makeup wipe slowly and softly over her face. He moved on to her bruised eye and Manila found that she had been correct: Sutan’s touch was so delicate and soft there was hardly any pain. She doubted the pills had kicked in already and he was so careful it didn’t even matter.

Manila was almost entranced by Sutan’s warmth, which only added to her exhaustion. She was in a daze and found that her wig and most of her makeup were gone without her even noticing. Sutan finished working on her lips, being extra careful around the cut, and suddenly he was Karl.

He felt almost relieved to be himself again.

Some small part of him hoped that once Manila was gone, what had happened tonight would be gone too. It had happened to Manila, after all, not him. But, he knew it couldn’t work that way. The adrenaline had worn off and he was so exhausted he hadn’t really processed the night’s events yet, but he knew he’d have to deal with it eventually.

Makeup fully gone, Sutan had gone into his bedroom to get clothes. He knew Sutan was worried about him, but this was the safest Karl had felt all night. From the minute the older man knocked on that dressing room door he knew he was finally, finally, safe.

Sutan returned with a pair of shorts and a shirt. “Are shorts okay? Lord knows my pants are too long for you and I don’t need your clumsy ass to trip and break your neck,” Sutan grinned at Karl, and knew Karl was on his way back to feeling better when he snorted loudly and snatched the clothes away.

“We know all about you and your long legs, bitch. No need to rub it in,” he muttered, his smile kind and genuine.

“You’re not gonna watch me change, are you?” Karl asked when Sutan still hadn’t moved. “I think I can dress myself.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Sutan turned and went into his bedroom.

Karl locked the door and sighed. He knew Sutan really cared about him and only wanted to help, but Karl thought he was going overboard. It’s only a few bruises, Karl thought. He’s acting like I’m three years old. Karl didn’t feel much of anything as he put the clothes on. He was a little shaky from what had happened, but he pushed the ideas of how badly tonight could have gone out of his mind. The exhaustion was helping, as he was too tired to truly contemplate what could have been. Fully changed, he left Manila’s remnants on the floor and headed to the bedroom, where Sutan stood fidgeting.

Karl settled into the bed. Sutan just stood there next to him, wringing his hands together one second and running them through his hair the next. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he was struggling with what to say. Was he planning to just stand next to the bed all night worrying? Karl sighed. He didn’t want to talk about tonight right now and really wanted to sleep, but he could tell Sutan was stressed and upset and it was making Karl stressed and upset.

“I can literally hear you worrying. Will you please relax? Just get in the damn bed. You don’t have to baby me. I’m fine. It’s fine,” Karl decided to get right to it, sleep be damned. He knew neither one of them would sleep anyway if they didn’t deal with this first.

“It’s not fine!” Sutan shouted. Karl could see Sutan’s surprise at his own outburst and knew he hadn’t meant to be that loud. His next words were quieter as everything in his head came flooding out. “I-I’m sorry, Karl, I just–I haven’t been able to stop worrying since you called me and I can’t–I can’t stop picturing all the terrible things that could have happened to you and I don’t know what I’d do if you…” His voice trailed off as he began crying.

Karl reached over from the bed and pulled Sutan onto the mattress next to him. He wrapped his arms around the taller man and tried to soothe him.

“Sutan, honey, it’s okay. I know how bad this could have been, but it wasn’t, okay? I’m fine. And I know you’re worried and scared and you have every right to be. I am too. I know how much worse it could have ended up. What could have happened doesn’t matter now. There’s no point in thinking about it. I’m here, I’m alright, and we’ll get through this together.”

It was quiet as he felt Sutan’s breathing start to slow. “How the hell did you end up comforting me in all this?” Sutan laughed shakily.

Karl laughed as he turned onto his side. “I feel like 40 percent of our relationship is one of us crying and the other one comforting.”

“And the other 60 percent is getting high,” Sutan added, and they both laughed deeply. The tension was mostly gone, but Sutan still seemed unsure of himself.

“Come on,” Karl said, motioning to the bed. “Stay with me tonight.”

“Of course,” Sutan replied. He turned and pressed his warm chest against Karl’s back, draping one long arm over his waist.

Sutan didn’t want to take advantage of Karl in this situation, but he placed one soft kiss to his cheek. “Get some sleep, Karl. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Karl mumbled sleepily. He was asleep in minutes, knowing he was always safe in Sutan’s arms.

#rpdr fanfiction #manila luzon #raja gemini #latrice royale #rajila #hurt/comfort #angst #athena2 #canon compliant #tw mild violence #tw mild injury #tw implied homophobia #concrit welcome

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Let Me Take Care of You (Rajila)

This is my first ever fic. I love sick fics and needed some more Rajila in my life. Comments, feedback, and constructive criticism are appreciated, but please be kind.

Karl was officially worried.

It was now 11:36 and Sutan was supposed to be here over half an hour ago. Karl knew Sutan was always busy, but he had suggested this morning to look at Karl’s outfits for an upcoming show, and Karl just didn’t think it was like him to forget. Nor was it like him to be late. Not to mention that he hadn’t called or even sent a text saying he couldn’t make it, and he hadn’t answered any of Karl’s calls.

Karl decided to call one last time, pacing frantically as he waited for Sutan to pick up. Nothing.

Screw it, I’m going over there, Karl thought as he grabbed his keys. He ran his thumb over the key to Sutan’s apartment, which Sutan had given him years ago just in case.

He made the drive in about 15 minutes, trying to keep the worry out of his mind the whole ride. Maybe he’s just hungover. Or hooked up with someone last night. But why wasn’t he answering his phone? Karl forced his mind to focus on the road. He eventually gave up on trying to be calm and full-on sprinted to the apartment door, shoving his just-in-case key into the lock and trying to prepare himself for what he might find.

The kitchen looked normal, and so did the living room. The apartment seemed way too silent, and for a minute Karl was sure he was going to become the opening scene in a horror movie.

“Where are you, bitch?” Karl called out. “Did you bail on me, or is this an I’ve-fallen-and-can’t-get-up situation? You are an old man, after all,” Karl smiled to himself, the joke deflecting his real fear that something bad had happened to Sutan. He finally made his way to the bedroom, and the sight that greeted him wiped the smile off his face and made his heart constrict painfully.

Sutan was curled into a shivering ball in the bed, wrapped in almost every blanket he owned. As Karl got closer, he could hear a rattling in Sutan’s chest, like he was struggling to breathe. The edges of his hair were damp with sweat and even from a foot away Karl could feel the heat coming off him.

Oh shit.

Karl scrambled, trying to think of what he should do. Thermometer, he thought. See how sick he is, and then give him Tylenol or something. He ran to Sutan’s bathroom and rifled through drawers and cabinets, finally finding an ear thermometer and a bottle of Tylenol. He grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and started back to the bedroom.

“Okay, I can do this,” Karl told himself. He didn’t have much practice with sick people. In the nearly ten years since he’d known Sutan, he couldn’t remember the older man being sick more than a few times, and definitely never this bad. Sutan was usually the one taking care of Karl whenever he was sick or upset about something.

He approached the bed slowly. “Hey, Sutan,” he said softly. Sutan was still shivering even though his shirt was soaked with sweat. Karl reached out slowly and placed the thermometer in his ear, hoping not to scare him. The older man didn’t even stir, which worried Karl further. After the beep, Karl removed the thermometer and looked at the numbers. 103.2. Fuck.

“Honey,” Karl said as he gripped Sutan’s shoulder gently, “Do you think you can sit up a little?”

One dark, bloodshot eye cracked open about halfway.

“Come on, I’ll help you. You need to take some medicine. You’re really sick.” Karl managed to get Sutan into a half-sitting position. He panted for a few seconds after the change in position, and Karl saw the glazed look in his eyes. He probably had no idea where he was or what was happening.

Karl rubbed circles on Sutan’s trembling back, hoping it would help soothe him. He felt the heat of the fever through the taller man’s shirt. Shit, he’s burning. Karl just prayed the Tylenol would work. Sutan finally turned to look at Karl, squinting like he wasn’t quite sure the person in front of him was Karl, or was even real.

“K-Karl?” he rasped. “Oh, I hope it’s you. I had dr-dreams about you. You’re so beautiful.”

Karl froze, unsure what to say. He knew Sutan was probably too far in a fever-induced brain fog to know what was going on or what he was saying. He probably wouldn’t even remember this. Still, Karl didn’t want to say anything that would upset him.

“Yeah, honey, it’s me. I’m here. I really need you to take these pills. Do you think you can do that for me? They’ll make you feel better.” Karl continued rubbing Sutan’s back and brought the pills up to his mouth.

Sutan let out a harsh cough and clutched at his ribs. “A-anything for you, Karl,” he said, taking the pills and waiting obediently for Karl to hold the water bottle to his lips. He drank about half the bottle before pushing it away and dropping back to the mattress.

Sutan was so vulnerable, so helpless, that Karl could barely stand it. He just wanted to hold the older man and make him better.

“Get some sleep,” Karl told him. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I love you, Karl,” Sutan replied sleepily.

Unable to help himself, Karl dropped a soft kiss to his temple. “I love you too,” he said, unsure if Sutan even heard.

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Nearly four hours later, Karl flipped through magazines in a chair by the bed. He had removed some of the blankets to cool Sutan down, and it seemed to be working, as he had slept peacefully.

He was so adorable while he slept, even though his hair was sweaty and messy and his face was much paler than normal. Karl couldn’t help but marvel at how sweet he looked.

He dropped his magazine when he saw Sutan beginning to wake. Karl watched as his big brown eyes, a bit clearer than they were previously, went from confused to scared to panicked in a matter of seconds. “Where,” he croaked, struggling to sit up. “What hap-who’s there?”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Calm down.” Karl rushed forward, helped him sit up, and rubbed his back again. “It’s just me. Karl.”

Sutan squinted at the shorter man like he wasn’t sure what he saw was real. “Wh-how did you get here?”

“I came over earlier today. You, um, you were supposed to meet me this morning. To look at dresses? You never showed and you weren’t answering my calls, so I got worried and came over here,” Karl explained.

Sutan’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! I made you worry and you came over here for me and wasted your whole day watching me sleep and I’m so sorry and I’m a burden and you must hate me.” Tears welled up in his eyes and Karl felt his heart break.

He rushed forward to wipe the tears away. “Oh, sweetie, no! I would never, ever hate you! First of all, being sick is not your fault. I don’t blame you and I would never be mad at you. I came here because I care about you. You’re not a burden, and I didn’t waste my day. I had no plans for today. You have nothing to be sorry for. Understand?”

Sutan coughed deeply and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“No more apologies, bitch. I mean it.”

The older man laughed. “Okay.”

“Are you feeling any better?” Karl asked.

“A lot better, actually. Especially compared to yesterday. I legitimately felt like I was dying.”

Karl winced sympathetically. “How long have you been sick?”

“I didn’t feel well last week but I thought it was just a cold. By Friday I knew it was worse but at that point I was too sick to do anything about it. I think I just slept through Saturday. I had such crazy dreams, oh my god.” He started laughing. “Half the time I didn’t know if I was awake or asleep or if anything was even real. I had this one crazy-ass dream that Bianca Del Rio and Adore Delano went full-on Lady and the Tramp with some spaghetti. I know that wasn’t real.”

The two men burst out laughing. Part of Karl wanted to ask what Sutan had dreamt about him, but he wasn’t sure he remembered saying it and didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“You should have called me though,” Karl thought of how sick he must have been yesterday. “As soon as you started getting sick, you should have called. I would have taken care of you.”

“I thought about it. Before Saturday happened and I felt like I had smoked the shadiest joint in existence. But I didn’t want to bother you, and I…I just didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Honey,” Karl reached over and grabbed Sutan’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin. “You know I would never think less of you,” he said softly. “Everyone gets sick. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help and you could never bother me, no matter how sick you are. So just let me take care of you. Please?” Karl pleaded.

“Okay.”

Karl sprang into action. After successfully taking Sutan from the mess he had been earlier to the mostly-cognizant state he was in now, he felt like a nursing pro. He took his temperature again, relieved to see it had gone down to 101.4. He helped Sutan change into a clean T-shirt, got him to take some more pills, and even coaxed him into eating a piece of toast and drinking some ginger ale. Nursing pro, indeed, Karl thought.

“Hey, Karl?” Sutan asked suddenly as he picked at his toast, “Did I, um, did I say anything about dreaming of you? I feel like I did but I’m not sure if it was a dream or not.”

Karl bit his lip as he thought of what to say. He didn’t want to embarrass the older man or force him into a conversation he didn’t want to have. But part of him couldn’t deny his own curiosity. Was Sutan only asking because he wanted to be more than friends too and hoped Karl felt the same way? What had Sutan dreamt of? Nor could Karl pretend that the sleepy I love you had no effect on him. Feelings toward Sutan he thought he had gotten over had now returned in full force. He felt bad for doing this to a sick man, but Karl wanted to find out what he had dreamt, if he remembered the I love you, if there was anything deeper behind his dreams and half-conscious words.

“Yeah, you did. You were pretty out of it, though. I wasn’t sure you’d remember,” Karl replied evenly, trying to keep the hope that maybe they could be more than friends out of his voice.

“Right.” It could have been the fever, but Sutan’s face suddenly looked redder. “I had so many I don’t think I remember them all. In one of them we owned a bakery! And in another we were dog groomers! But, uh, we were always together. Romantically, I mean. And it was really nice. I kind of started subconsciously hoping I’d have more dreams of us because I liked being a couple.”

Karl laughed upon hearing some of the dreams, then felt a sudden warmth as Sutan finished. “Are you saying you’d like to be a little more than friends?” He asked finally.

Sutan exhaled deeply. “I’m saying I would like to try. If you want to, I mean.”

“Oh, I do. I really do. And for the record, I’d groom dogs and run a bakery with you any day of the week, girl.”

Both men laughed, excited for what awaited them.

#rpdr fanfiction #manila luzon #raja gemini #rajila #hurt/comfort #concrit welcome #sick fic #canon compliant #athena2

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