#MY PROJECT IS DUE TOMORROW AND I ONLY JUST FIGURED IT OUT

[probably-not-a-rutabaga]

man who let me choose a major that required a year of computer science

[kellystar321]

.

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 － 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧

✧ in which the attempt to get distracted from your feelings might not end exactly as you planned

jungwon x fem!reader (feat. sunghoon)

୨୧ genre: mostly angst, some fluff | words: 6.8k | cw: skinship, (a tiny little bit suggestive if you squint your eyes), physical violence, blood, alcohol, cheating ୨୧

hanna says: phew, this took me like forever to write but the idea had been in my head for so long. i hope y'all enjoy this read ! (i highly recommend to read the teaser to this before for better understanding; it's linked in the pink text -> if you click on 'previously')

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previously:

"you're still not seeing anyone?", his eyes locked with yours again, "i'm sure there are some guys in college who are all over you. maybe you should try your luck?"

he gave you a knowing look, as if he subtly wanted to tell you: get yourself out there and distract yourself from him.

over the weekend, you replayed jay's words in your head over and over again. he wasn't wrong; it wasn't too bad of an idea after all. you wouldn't try to force anything, but you decided to allow things to happen if they decided to roll around. you couldn't keep on sulking over your one-sided feelings, especially not when jungwon was your friend and almost in a relationship. you should be happy for him after all, you thought.

as if on cue, you bumped right into said potentional distraction the following week.

you were rushing down the stairs of the lecture building, eager to catch the subway three minutes later, as you tripped over your untied shoelace and right into someone walking up the stairs.

the force you hit him with made said someone stumble back a step.

before you could realize what happened, you felt a strong grip on each of your arms steadying you, eventually preventing you from falling down the stairs and taking him along with you.

"woah, careful there", you heard his semi-familiar voice as you looked up to meet his widened, chocolate-brown eyes.

"wait... y/n, right?" you nodded slowly, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. you remembered his face and his voice, but you couldn't figure out from where.

apparently, you couldn't seem to hide the confusion; the corners of his lips shot up into a smile the same time that a chuckle left his mouth. "sunghoon. we had a group project last semester." right. that's why he looked familiar.

still shocked from the moment, all you could utter was a little "i'm sorry" along with an apologetic smile. "for forgetting and for running you over", you added. only then, you realized his hands were still holding onto your arms. you cleared your throat. "and thanks for um... catching me, i guess?"

he gave you a short smile and loosened the grip around your arms until he let go of them fully. "i mean... i was kinda saving myself", he said, reminding you of how the scenario would have ended hadn't he reacted so fast - namely, with both of you at the bottom of the staircase, probably with at least one broken bone and definitely not with the grin he gave you now. the thought made your stomach twist.

"hey, it's fine", he tried to somewhat comfort you, noticing how all color had left your face. "although, i do think you owe me... for saving your life practically, you know"

he was exaggerating. you knew he was. but it still twisted your stomach a second time, leaving you with an uneasy feeling. relax, maybe he just wants some notes from a lecture he didn't attend. or he has an essay due tomorrow that he didn't want to write. or-

"come to my match tomorrow. if i win, you'll go on a date with me"

what.

your intuition told you to decline. however, the look in his eyes proved that he insisted, and you really did owe him.

maybe you should try your luck, jay's words echoed in the back of your head. right. maybe i should.

without wasting another second, you nodded your head, which caused a smile to spread across sunghoon's lips.

"i still have your number saved. i'll text you the details", he replied as he walked past you and up the stairs a few steps, before he turned around to look at you again. "you might want to tie your shoelace unless you planned to run someone else over"

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

the same evening, as promised, you received a text message from sunghoon with the place and the time for the following day.

yet again, your stomach flipped for the split of a second, the thought if you were out of your mind for agreeing on the deal with a stranger clouding your mind. but then again, he wasn't a complete stranger and it was only a college ice hockey match. it would be nice getting your mind off your feelings and any recent events jungwon never hesitated to tell you about.

and that's how you found yourself on your way to the college's ice hockey rink less than 24 hours later. as you walked closer, you noticed sunghoon standing in front of the entrance, carrying a big bag in one hand and holding his phone in the other. you picked up your pace for the last few meters.

"sorry, i lost track of the time while getting ready", you greeted him. he looked you up and down for a second before smiling softly. "don't worry, it was worth the wait."

you felt yourself smiling slightly at the compliment, your cheeks covered in a light pink shade.

sunghoon guided you inside and to a seat in the first row, waiting for you to sit down before he spoke. "i have to change and warm up now. do you need anything before i go?" you shook your head.

"i'm wearing number 7 so watch out for me. and remember, if my team wins", he said, confidence radiating from his voice, "you owe me a date". he gave you the hint of a grin before disappearing to what you assumed was the locker room.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

as time passed, you found yourself feeling more and more invested in the match. although you had no knowledge about any rules, and the players' movements were too fast for you to follow, you quickly adjusted to the speed of the match and started to put the puzzle of possible rules together. as soon as it started to make sense to you, your interest grew bigger.

you hadn't noticed how you had unintentionally followed a certain player's every move until you cheered for a goal he scored, his head turning to look at you and his eyes lighting up as they met your cheerful ones. you swore you could see him giving you a quick wink, before turning on his skates to continue the match.

even as the match was over and the crowd of people around you started leaving, you were still trying to figure out if the fast rhythm of your heartbeat was due to the adrenaline in your body that the game had caused or due to your tiny interaction with said certain player. back number 7. said certain player, who you now owed a date.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

after your date with sunghoon, you found yourself accompanying him to every single one of his weekly matches, not even cancelling when you really had to finish an assignment that was due the end of that day - and that you hadn't even started. besides the matches, that had by now become like a weekly ritual for you, the two of you spent more and more time together, getting to know each other better and growing closer.

he would wait for you after your classes so he could walk you home - something you would usually refuse to do. but walking meant you didn't have to take the subway that was, more often that not, packed to a point that the doors barely closed. and walking with sunghoon meant spending some extra time with him, listening to how his day went and telling him about yours, and sometimes, just sometimes, it also meant having him holding your small hand in his bigger one, your fingers softly intertwined.

you would come over to his place after his practice, to order dinner and watch movies until one of you fell asleep cuddled up against the other.

the two of you would go out on dates, although neither of you officially addressed them as such, and you would slowly begin to feel more and more comfortable around each other.

what had started as a deal - all because you almost knocked him over on the college stairs a few months ago - and as sort of a distraction from your one-sided feelings for your best friend, had by now become a part of your life. a part that made your stomach all fuzzy and your heart warm up each second you spent together.

the plan to distract yourself, however, seemed to work - if jay's judgement was anything to go by, at least. a few weeks ago, you had finally briefed him on the entire situation with sunghoon. part of you felt bad for not letting him know earlier, mostly because he had given you the idea of 'trying your luck', but you had wanted to wait until things were more settled.

jungwon, on the other hand, didn't know yet. remembering how you'd felt whenever he was telling you about the girl he'd liked when you still had feelings for him, you decided to keep everything concerning sunhoon a secret from him. at least for now that the relationship with his girlfriend was in a slump that it couldn't seem to get out of. given your feelings a few months ago, you would have probably been happy to hear the news - although you hated yourself for that - but now that your heart didn't stung anymore at the thought of your friend with another girl, you felt bad for him.

if jay had told him already, which he pinky-promised he wouldn't do, jungwon was very good at hiding. or his mind was elsewhere. just like now, during your weekly bar-catch-up-meeting, when he didn't really seem to listen to jay's updates. you didn't have to ask him; you knew what lay heavily on his heart - and it made you feel even worse about your decision to introduce sunghoon to them that night. but recent events had sort of pushed you to finally do so;

a few days ago, the two of you were sitting in a café for one of your (unofficial) dates, when sunghoon suddenly handed you a bag. hesitantly, you took it from his hands and lurked inside. after shooting him another glance, and earning an approving nod from him, you shoved your hand inside the bag, grabbed the piece of fabric and slowly pulled it out. although you immediately recognized the familiar colors of the jersey, you unfolded it slowly, the '7' on its back confirming your suspicion.

"it's my jersey... my spare one, don't worry, it's clean", he added hastily. "it's to...", he reached up to scratched the back of his head, a tiny hint of nervousness spreading across his face, "to have a reminder of why we started dating in the first place, sort of. you can wear it to my matches from now on", he declared sheepishly.

the smile on your face grew wider with every word he said. "that's cute... thank you, hoon", you leaned in to quickly peck his cheek, only resulting in your own cheeks heating up even more. "i'll always wear it from now on"

you couldn't help but notice the warm, bubbly feeling the gesture caused in your stomach. it was a small one, yet it felt somewhat so big, so official.

you bit down on your lower lip at the thought. you had been meeting regularly, and when you didn't fall asleep at each other's place, you had been calling every night, even if it was just to say good night. sunghoon would keep his hand on the small of your back when you were walking and sometimes you even held hands in public. now that you thought about it, it did feel official. but it wasn't. neither of you had ever addressed the title-topic, until -

"will you finally be my girlfriend?"

now that you were official, you didn't want to hide it from your friends anymore, although jay technically knew. he just didn't know about the boyfriend girlfriend kind of thing.

you knew now wasn't the right timing, but a quick glance at your phone and the incoming message from sunghoon that he'd just arrived, told you that it was too late to change your mind.

just a few moments later, you saw sunghoon appearing near the entrance, his gaze scanning the bar until his eyes finally met yours and softened slightly at the sight. he gave you the hint of a smile and waited for a sign from you that he could walk over to the table you shared with your two friends. they were sitting with their backs to the entrance, so they hadn't seen him yet when jay finished with his weekly update just a minute later.

for the first time in a while, you rose to speak without jay needing to ask you to do so.

"i have kind of an update this week", you said sheepishly, looking over their shoulders to give sunghoon a tiny nod. he took the hint and made his way to your table. "actually, i want to introduce you to someone"

just in time, sunghoon walked past the table and stopped next to you, giving you a short smile and mouthing a 'hi' before looking at your friends.

"jay, jungwon", you pointed at them as you named them, "this is sunghoon", you introduced the three guys to each other, hesitating to continue. the last boyfriend you'd introduced to your friends had turned out to be a complete disappointment, and ever since, you hadn't been in a relationship again. now, it felt almost weird to open up to your friends about this topic.

sunghoon sensed your slight nervousness and softly placed a hand on your shoulder, giving it a short, careful squeeze - as if to give you a sign that it was okay to continue.

"he's my boyfriend", you finally said, a nervous smile spread across your lips.

jay bit his lower lip to surpress a grin, but he gave you a look that said i knew it, before quickly standing up and reaching out his hand to greet sunghoon.

jungwon, on the other hand, hesitated before he mimicked jay's action.

he's my boyfriend. your words echoed in his mind, even long after sunghoon had sat down next to you.

my boyfriend. his brain replayed the scene over and over again like a broken record.

while his elder friend interviewed the couple about how they had met and so on and so forth - although, in secret, he already knew the story - jungwon paid no attention to any word spoken at the table. his focus moved from the hand sunghoon had casually placed on your thigh, to your smaller hand on top of his, and back to his hand and his thumb that slowly and softly caressed the skin on your thigh that your skirt exposed. then, to the smile that spread across your lips as you were talking about whatever, the short moments of eye contact you'd share with your boyfriend, the way his lips curled up when he talked about the relationship, and finally the short peck he placed on your cheek that painted your cheeks a light pink.

jungwon's chest felt tight. uncomfortably tight. tightness, paired with a stinging pain on the left side of his chest that spread like a wildfire to his stomach. with just a hint of hope, he picked up his phone from the table to check for a notification - only to feel even the last bit of optimism shatter to pieces, as he saw the empty screen. no message. no call. no nothing. of course.

only a few weeks ago, he used to experience all these tiny moments that you and sunghoon now shared, too. only a few weeks ago, he'd looked as happy as you did now. had felt as much in love as you did now, maybe even more. only to find all of that slowly fading away more and more with each day that passed, like an old photograph that had been too exposed to sunlight.

now that he saw it happening in front of him, he swore he could hear his heart ripping a little in his chest.

he didn't know if he should blame it on the alcohol in his blood or on the current situation with his own girlfriend when a spark of anger mixed with the sadness he felt. you were aware of his situation, yet you decided to introduce your boyfriend to them that night?

then again, he had no right to keep you from having a good time just because he wasn't. and if the look on your face and the way you slightly leaned against sunghoon were anything to go by, you did have a good time. but who guaranteed that, after all? the last time he'd been introduced to a boyfriend of yours, the relationship had turned out to be the prime example of a disaster.

paying close attention to sunghoon's every move, jungwon's grip tightened around his glass when his gaze went down to his hand on your leg again and he swore he saw it moving up your bare skin just by an inch.

jay, who'd learned to read his best friend's body language in next to no time over the several years of friendship, stepped on jungwon's foot under the table and shot him a confused look that caused the younger to empty whatever liquor was left in his glass and swallowing part of his anger along with it.

a few hours later (or more like what felt like an eternity to jungwon), your night out ended with bidding goodbye's to each other, a friendly 'it was nice meeting you' from jay and a more drunk than sober 'you better not hurt her' from jungwon.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

while jay contacted you a few times after your night out, asking the usual how are you's and the not-yet-usual how are things with sunghoon, you'd heard nothing from jungwon. you'd tried to reach out to him, but he had kept your communication to a minimum, his replies coming late, short and dry - if even.

that was until you found him in front of your door the next thursday night, after he had successfully woken you up by ringing the doorbell almost non-stop. when you opened the door and saw him standing in front of your apartment, you were ready to throw all kinds of complaints right at his face. because where did he get the audacity from to randomly pay you a visit past your bed time, when he knew for a fact how much you cherished your sleep and especially when he'd barely talked to you over the past week.

however, it took only a second look at his face for you to quickly close your mouth and swallow your complaints. you'd seen him feeling down before, but you'd never seen him like this. dark circles marred his usually bright eyes - eyes that were now red, either from anger or from tears. his skin was pale and his lips looked like they hadn't formed a smile in days. you couldn't quite make out his expression, swinging somewhere between the lines of sadness and sheer emptiness.

suddenly, it didn't matter that he interrupted your sacred sleeping time. worry rushed over you as you wordlessly stepped aside, eyebrows furrowed and lower lip sucked between your teeth, to make space for your friend to enter.

after jungwon had hesitantly stepped inside your apartment, you carefully grabbed his wrist, leading him to the living room and putting both your hands on his shoulders, pushing down softly until he sat on the sofa. your soft touch left tiny sparks on his skin that lingered there even after you left the living room again.

as you came back moments later with a mug of tea in both hands, you found jungwon still sitting in the same position. his gaze stuck to his knees, almost as if he didn't dare to look at you.

you exhaled a small sigh, before handing him one of the cups, placing the other on the small coffee table. you grabbed a blanket from the other side of the sofa and carefully put it around his shoulders in hopes it would somehow comfort him.

after you sat down next to him, it took him only the blink of an eye to blurt out all the thoughts that clouded his mind at once.

"i'm sorry for bothering you at this time, i know you were probably sleeping and i really tried to reach jay, but he didn't answer his calls and he wasn't home and-... and i know i didn't even talk to you properly the past days but-"

"jungwon.", you interrupted him, softly placing your hand on his upper arm. "what happened?"

he was right. you were sleeping and he hadn't talked to you properly the past days, but that didn't matter anymore. your chest felt tight at the sight of your friend in such a state.

you could hear jungwon release a long sigh before he said the words you'd already expected to hear: "we broke up."

you listened attentively as he gave you a summary of the previous happenings. it sounded like the prime example of a nasty break up; hour long arguments with a lot of screaming and crying included. trying to make up, only to fuck it all over the next second. you could feel your heart aching for him, only imagining how overwhelmed he must have felt, especially after being so in love.

"oh, jungwon...", you sighed once he was done, taking his hand that had started shaking in his lap at the memory of everything he told you in yours and giving it a careful squeeze.

his shaking hand came to a halt at your soft touch and for a reason unknown to himself, jungwon wished that you'd never let go.

"i'm so sorry", you broke the silence again and slowly let go of his hand, leaving it cold without your touch.

you knew he would talk to you or jay whenever he felt the need to and you certainly didn't want to push him to speak, nor dig too deep with further questions.

"comfort movie and ice cream?"

jungwon's lips curled into the hint of a smile just for the blink of an eye before it disappeared again and he nodded.

"comfort movie and ice cream"

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

even a week later, jungwon caught himself thinking back to the night he rang your doorbell in despair and how you'd comforted him so effortlessly. he swore if he thought about it hard enough, he could still feel your warm touch around his wrist, on his shoulders, on his arm, and on his hand. sometimes, he even caught himself wondering what it would feel like to hold your hand for longer, or how much comfort it would give him to hold your body close to his if only the tiny amount of skinship had felt like this. like the first ray of sunshine after a storm. like home.

although he knew he had no business to neither think nor feel like that, his mind tricked him into the same train of thoughts over and over again. and whenever it happened, he'd feel guilty. he'd hate himself for letting his thoughts wander back to you so frequently, knowing it was straight up egoistic. you had comforted him that night. you had given him the tiny bit of affection that he'd been so deprived of ever since his relationship went downhill - even if it had just been platonically. he blamed the fact that you were running laps around his mind on the situation he'd been in, but that only made it worse. knowing he was only longing to relive these tiny moments with you for the sake of feeling at ease - of forgetting about his break up. or so he thought.

over the next few weeks, he was proven wrong. he couldn't say he was over his ex girlfriend yet, but she for sure started to matter less and less to him. at the same time, thoughts of you clouded his mind more often than he'd liked to admit.

at first, he'd tried to shrug it off. but as time passed, he couldn't deny the small pang in his chest whenever sunghoon picked you up from your night outs, whenever he saw your phone light up from a notification, the picture of you and sunghoon that you had put as your lockscreen greeting him, or each time you posted your boyfriend on social media - being all lovey-dovey, of course.

if he thought all of these feelings were just caused by the sudden lack of love in his life at first, by now he was sure that they were the outcome of the lack of your love.

you, on the other hand, blamed any glares at your boyfriend, any of jungwon's sighs at the sight of you two together, and any other more or less weird behaviour from jungwon on the fact that he was still not over his break up and simply felt a bit uneasy at seeing love happening right in front of him.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

as the weekend rolled around, you were hoping that saturday afternoon would not only lighten up jungwon's mood overall, but also ease the uncomfortable tension between the two of you.

it was jay's birthday and as per his wish, you met up with him and some of his other friends from college to play bowling all together. you had been hesitant about letting sunghoon tag along, given the circumstances with jungwon and you not wanting to be the reason for a ruined birthday, but jay, who had also grown closer to sunghoon over time, convinced you otherwise.

although you were enormously behind in points, the game was fun and everyone seemed to have a good time. small waves of relief washed over you each time you saw jungwon scoring a strike, followed by a cheerful jubilation. finally.

it was your last turn before the game was over. even though your chances of winning were zero, you still tried your best to at least hit a few pins - just so the results wouldn't be as embarrassing. and against your own expectations, you indeed scored a solid seven.

when you turned around, jungwon tried his best to surpress a proud smile at your result. there was no need. it would have gone unnoticed by you anyways, your eyes falling right on sunghoon, his wide smile and his opened arms that embraced you in a short hug after you approached him.

"see, i told you; you just need some practice and you'll do well", he mumbled in your hair, leaving a soft peck on top of them, before he let go of the hug, cupped your face in his hands and captured your lips in a short but loving kiss.

"i guess seven is my lucky number", you replied jokingly flirtous.

sunghoon opened his mouth to reply, but was quickly interrupted by an annoyed groan coming from the other side of the table.

"you guys are gross"

the glare you gave jungwon for his words made his insides twist and he decided to keep whatever else words he wanted to throw at you - out of pure jealousy, admittedly - to himself.

in fact, you didn't hear any other word from him that day, until you used a moment in which sunghoon and jay were busy discussing whether baseball or ice hockey was better, to follow jungwon as he excused himself to the restroom. you were dedicated to confront him about the prior situation.

"what the fuck was that for, jungwon?"

he raised his eyebrows cluelessly.

"you know what i mean. it was unnecessary. and not exactly respectful." you crossed your arms in front of your chest, looking at him expectantly.

"it hurts seeing you with him."

fuck. his own eyes widened as the words of confession left his mouth. out of all the lies he could have come up with, did he really have to say the truth?

you sighed, dropping your arms to your sides. "listen, jungwon. i'm sorry about your break up and your loss, but just because you ended your realtionship doesn't mean that i have to-"

"am i not being obvious enough?", he interrupted, causing you to look at him in disbelief.

"what? i don't think i'm rubbing your nose in-"

"oh, cut the cap, y/n", he interrupted again, a slight hint of annoyance shadowing over his words this time. he blamed it for the sudden confidence it gave him as the next words just rolled off his tongue without any warning.

"you really don't understand i'm in love with you?"

the words hit you like a punch in the gut, its pain spreading all over your stomach as you took a step back.

this world cannot be so sick and twisted, you thought as the uneasy feeling made its way to your chest like a heavy weight that made it hard to breathe.

you swallowed hard, as if that would subside the feeling.

"i don't think this is the place and time to have this conversation now", you tried your best to stay calm, although all you wanted was to run off and escape the situation.

"why?" jungwon asked, and with each step he took towards you, you took a step back. "cause your boyfriend is just a few steps away?"

your heart was hammering against your chest.

"and what if he hurts you?", he continued.

memories of your previous relationship, memories which you had worked so hard to shove all the way to the very back of our mind, hit you like a wave. what if he hurts you?

you shook your head in an attempt to shake them off, trying to keep your cool with the attempt of a deep breath. you wouldn't panic. not here, not now.

"what would you know about his intentions?"

"nothing. but i don't trust him and i know about mine. you can still choose me over him and we'll-"

"stop", you said sternly. your head hurt and everything was spinning. "stop making everything about you." words left your mouth before your head was done forming them into sentences. "i had liked you for so long before and you never cared how i felt when you talked about her non-stop."

jungwon's eyes widened as your confession rang in his ears. "i...", he swallowed hard, "i care about how you're feeling"

"i'm feeling happy now. you care? then don't ruin this for me"

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

weeks later, the stress the situation had left you in, had calmed down. you were laying on the side you claimed as yours on sunghoon's bed, scrolling through tiktok and effectively procrastinating on your studies. after sunghoon had left to meet with his study group, you were alone in his apartment. he'd offered you to tag along, but after you'd declined, you just decided to stay in his place so you could spend the evening together once he came back.

after a few more minutes of scrolling, you finally put your phone down and started studying. just when you felt too exhausted to continue, you heard keys turning in the lock of the front door. what a timing.

you quickly closed your laptop, stood up and made your way to the front door to greet sunghoon, only for him to quickly rush past you, not even granting you a look, but instead keeping his face down.

you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and turned around to follow him.

"babe?"

you tried to understand what it was that caused him to act like that all of a sudden. everything was fine when he left. your mind started racing about all the things you could have possibly done wrong when he shut the door to the bathroom right in front of your face.

he didn't lock, but you didn't want to enter like an intrudor, so you took a deep breath before carefully knocking on the wooden door.

"sunghoon?"

when you heard nothing but the sound of water running, you decided to open the door slowly, little by little, until you could see him leaning over the sink and washing his face.

when you caught sight of the sink, painted in red, an alarm went off in your head. you quickly rushed over to him and stopped his attempt to splash more water on his face by grabbing both his wrists, tight but careful enough to not hurt him.

when he finally faced you, your heart dropped. his lip was slightly bruised and blood ran down his nose. you gave him a worried look to which he averted his gaze.

a few moments later, he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with you kneeling in front of him, cleaning up the blood on his face and treating his wounds. although you were careful, you could hear him hiss in pain from time to time.

"are you going to tell me what happened?", you broke the silence while tapping a tissue on his lip.

no answer.

you took his hands in yours, scanning his knuckles for any injuries.

"you didn't fight back", you established.

still no answer.

you stood up with a sigh, ready to leave the bathroom, when only one word from sunghoon made you freeze right at the spot.

"jungwon."

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

when you didn't find jungwon at his place, you drove to the café he recently started working at, in hopes of finding him there. you knew he was busy working, if he was there, but you couldn't care less.

sunghoon had tried to talk you out of it, practically begging you to just let it be and to stay home with him, and the memories of the last time you tried to tackle a problem with jungwon weren't exactly encouraging you to do so again, either. everything told you to not confront jungwon about the whole situation, but anger got the best of you when you, nevertheless, decided to do so.

when you arrived to the café, you caught a glimpse of the counter, half relieved to see jungwon behind it, half not. not wanting to cause a scene, you waited in the queue until it was your turn.

"hi, what can i get-"

jungwon's words got stuck in his throat when he realized who was standing in front of him.

he believed in coincidences, but this would be too much of an coincidence, even for him. he knew you knew.

"let me guess, your lovely boyfriend told you already?", he cocked an eyebrow.

"care to explain?", you asked back, mimicking his attitude.

instead of replying, he left his spot, grabbed a glass and started to add ingredients you couldn't quite make out from the speed he was working at. once he was done, he placed it on the counter in front of you.

"i'm off in half an hour", he slid the glass across the wood, closer to you, "if you wait, i'll tell you after. the coffee's on the house."

and without another word, he turned to the next customer, ready to take their order.

you sighed, but grabbed the drink and sat down in an empty chair, swirling the straw. you hadn't exactly planned for the day to end with you sitting there, waiting for jungwon to finish his shift, and sipping on a coffee that tasted surprisingly good - but here you were.

a few minutes later, jungwon, who was now changed out of his working clothes, approached your table.

"i told you to stay out of it", you said, before he even had the chance to say anything. "what makes you think getting involved and punching him was okay?"

how and where did you two even meet? why did you start this, and why didn't sunghoon fight back? tons of questions rose up all at once, making it hard to not lose your focus.

instead of replying, he silently reached out his hand, to which you just gave him a confused look.

"you won't believe me, anyways. so i'll show you."

not sure how to feel about what he had to show you, you hesitated before standing up, but refusing to take his hand. you followed him through a door that prohibited access to customers with a sign that read 'staff only'.

without a word, he sat down in front of a big computer screen, repeatedly clicking on different things with the mouse and tapping on the keyboard here and there. his narrowed eyes indicated he was searching something.

an uneasy feeling crept up on you, spread from your stomach, to your chest, and finally the rest of your body. you had no clue what jungwon was about to show you, but what you were sure of was that it couldn't be good.

"got it", he finally said, after what felt like an eternity. part of you was curious to see what he'd show you, while another, bigger part was eager to run away and pretend the day had never happened.

hesitantly, you took a few steps into his direction, until you could see the screen. at the second glimpse, you understood that what you saw in front of you on the screen was the café you'd been sitting in less than five minutes ago. he was showing you the café's cctv file.

"that was right before my shift", jungwon said, before he clicked play and leaned back for you to see the screen better. although, when you saw and realized, you wished your vision was blocked.

what you saw was no one other than your boyfriend sharing a table with an unfamiliar girl, both of them sitting a little too close to each other for your liking. you weren't a jealous person per se, but you also had boundaries. and your boyfriend's arm around the shoulders of a random girl you didn't know came very close to crossing them.

you tried to tell yourself that they were waiting for the other members of their study group, but no one else arrived, and nothing on the table looked like studying.

your stomach sank further and further, pearls of cold sweat pooled in the palms of your hands and your knees started to feel weak the closer the two got to each other. by now, you were anticipating what you saw next, but you still clung desperately to the tiny bit of hope that you had left; that told you you were exaggerating and it would be fine.

but even that tiny spark of hope died when you saw exactly what you'd expected to see. your boyfriend leaned in for a kiss.

your breath got caught in your throat and by now you knees felt like they'd give in and let you hit the ground.

the last thing you saw on the screen was jungwon pulling sunghoon away and placing a delicate punch right in his face without hesitation - then the screen went black.

it wasn't until you saw your reflection in the screen that you realized jungwon had stood up and placed his hand on the small of your back, as if to steady you.

silent tears rolled down your cheeks until they fully blurred your vision. what if he hurts you, jungwon's words from several weeks prior replayed in your head.

before your mind could wander off to questions such as how long it had been going on or what you did wrong to get cheated on, you were pulled into a tight hug.

jungwon held you through your sobs, let you soak his shirt in tears and carefully stroked your back in an attempt to calm you down.

although his heart was aching, ripping a little every time you let out another bitter sob, he held you tight to his chest as if keeping you close to him could protect you from all the bad in the world. oh, how he wished it could.

after you'd calmed down, he slowly let go of you, taking his hands off your back and on your cheeks instead, cupping your face and slowly wiping away your tears.

"now if after this you still don't choose me over him, i don't know either", he tried hard to make it sound like a joke, "also, my skills in making coffee are immaculate, so..."

the last part elicited a small chuckle on your behalf that quickly died again.

"i need time, won"

he nodded and gave you a soft smile, your face still cupped by his hands.

"as much time as you need", he said softly, "whenever you feel ready, i'll be here waiting for you, okay? as long as it takes you"

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2024. please do not copy.

join my taglist here | masterlist

taglist: @ilovejungwonandhaechan @aloloveswonie @jungwonloverr @laylasbunbunny @rawrszh @avacelestepereira @aishigrey @ilabjungwon @heeheeyeoiizz01

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

❗❗ HEY ❗❗ I SAUR YEW ADD BUCKY BARNES TO YOUR MLIST 🫵🫵🫵 YOU AINT SLICK ❗❗

anywayssss would you be willing to rank your comic book men on least to most willing to kill for their darling? i know we got your opinion on dick but i wanna see how it compares to everyone else

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋…

!!! GN reader, mentions of death/murder, violence, breaking bones, intimidation, threats, manipulation, general mental issues, biochemical attack (how the fuck did we get here), mutilation, self-harm, can be translated as either romantic or platonic.

Help, why did the beginning of this ask trigger my fight or flight for 0.2 seconds, LMAO. I dropped my phone like I was caught red-handed or some shit.

So, I initially made an oath to not answer any more asks until I either finish Life With Older Brother IV or my secret side project, but then I got this ask and figured I could use a little creative break. I’m hitting some brick walls right now with all of my writing projects, sobs.

So!! Here we go. Remember, this is in the order of least to most likely in a general sense. Featuring some new faces because I’m finally confident in depicting their comic book counterparts, yippee!!

Jaime Reyes: Obviously, if the scarab had its way, anyone who poses as a threat to Jaime’s beloved would be neutralized. But we’re talking about Jaime. As long as he’s in full control, he’d probably do everything in his power to not kill anyone, even if it’s for you. He knows he’s fucked in the head. No matter how hard he tries to convince himself it’s still just the scarab preying on his anxieties, it’s getting harder and harder to distinguish Khaji Da’s thoughts from his own. This spiral into insanity around his own morality and guilt would have him cling oh-so desperately to the idea that he’s still a hero. To him, the no-kill role is the only way to know for sure he’s still (kind of) himself.

Bruce Wayne: He’s The Batman. Of course he doesn’t kill. Sure, he may be a bit more violent towards potential threats when it comes to you, but he still doesn’t kill. It’s a core belief that he’ll stick to for as long as evil lurks in the shadows of Gotham. Besides, why would he need to kill when cracking a few ribs gets the message across just fine? Most people don’t even want to fuck with him in the first place; both as Bruce Wayne and especially The Batman. In many cases, simple intimidation will do the trick. It’s much neater than violence. Though violence is definitely still on the table when he’s in a mood (Alfred, for the last time, he does not need a therapist. He’s perfectly functional).

Clark Kent: Whereas Batman doesn’t kill, Superman can’t kill. Meaning, Clark is well aware of the image he has to uphold as the ever-so hopeful Man of Tomorrow. Which is actually fine by him. Due to his strong sense of morals, the thought of blood on his hands makes him sick to his stomach. But there are some cases where that dark voice in the back of his mind whispers he could easily snap the neck of that weirdo talking to you. Of course, this is clearly just a strange intrusive thought, and he guiltily shakes it out of his head the moment it appears. He’s Superman, for heaven’s sake! He’s better than that! Stooping to that level is simply not an option. But you know what is an option? Gripping people hard enough that their bones shatter. Accidents do happen, after all…

Wally West: The chances of him killing are very slim. Believe it or not, he’s not against the idea or anything (only when it comes to you), it’s just he doesn’t see the need to get his hands dirty. There are enough tactics in his arsenal that the thought won’t even cross his mind. A silver tongue can work miracles on its own, and standing at 6 feet tall, Wally can be surprisingly intimidating in his own right. Should there be any threat agains you, he’s more focused on getting you out of harm’s way than beating the shit out of anyone (that comes later, away from your prying eyes). At worst, anyone who pushes their luck will get fractures and road rashes as a result. Killing just isn’t an impulse Wally has. But if it absolutely has to happen… well, wouldn’t that be a shame?

Dick Grayson: As mentioned before in a previous ask, killing is off the table. Dick’s still a hero, and heroes don’t kill. It’s just that he miiiight accidentally lose control if he sees you in a critical state. The ask goes into much deeper detail than this, but to sum it up, he would feel devastated afterwards but eventually justify it to himself. It was to protect you… if he didn’t do it, god only knows what would’ve happened. Otherwise, he’s not one to get his hands dirty like that. The most he’ll do is deliver a very ominous threat that doesn’t outright mean he’s going to kill anyone, but the implications aren’t very pretty. And, if he can help it, he’d rather if you’re not in earshot. Unless if he somehow sees it as a good manipulation tactic. Then sure, you can hear all about how he’s going to drown someone in their own bathroom.

Peter Parker: He has a strong aversion to killing. Now, is that an outright no? As much as he’d like to think so, there are situations where no-kill is optional. Most of them involve you being in active danger. While he doesn’t go out of his way to kill anyone, he sure as hell isn’t thinking about the survivability of his rampage to make sure you’re safe. Causalities would be collateral damage; unfortunate, but possibly necessary. He also has a habit of threatening people’s lives when he’s particularly pissed off. As long as you’re not in some sort of critical state, he usually doesn’t follow through with them (and may even feel guilty afterwards). That being said, hearing your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man deliver a cold one-liner about wanting someone dead is still hella scary.

Steve Rogers: Listen, it’s not at all what he wants. He wouldn’t advocate for murdering your problems away both with or without the shield. But sometimes — just sometimes — it’s necessary. Of course he’d kill someone that posed as a threat to your personal safety. That doesn’t make him a terrible person or anything; most people would do that for their loved ones. Where the line starts to blur, however, is when there isn’t any immediate danger. Does that weirdo who was looking at you for too long count? God— no, Rogers. What is wrong with you?! But… then again, there was this look in their eyes… something’s just so off about them. Ultimately, Steve wouldn’t go through with it, but the thought does cross his mind. Not that he’d ever admit it, of course.

Hal Jordan: The answer is yes, but mostly because he’s a Lantern. Sometimes, neutralizing the threat is necessary. He would absolutely kill if it meant saving your life. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. Is it cathartic?… Lowkey. Hal’s not afraid to abuse his right as a Lantern to “neutralize the threat.” But keep in mind that this is a rare occurrence that depends on his mood. Really, he only considers it for situations you’re extremely distressed by, like some piece of shit giving you the creeps. He wouldn’t kill for his own personal gain, as much as he sometimes wants to; this is all about you, not him. I also don’t really see him having regrets. If he wants someone dead, he absolutely means it.

Remy LeBeau: It’s simple; if he’s gotta do it, he’s gotta do it. He’s got not moral hang-ups when it comes to killing. He doesn’t do it often, but he’s willing to clean up a mess or two if needed. The need to kill ranges from your personal safety to just not liking someone’s vibe. If that were the case, he’d give the poor sucker more than enough hints to leave you alone. Murder would be a last resort should they not listen; which is totally on them, by the way. Gambit can’t help it if they’re not the sharpest tool in the shed. Is kinetically charging someone’s car to explode not enough of a warning or something? Man, what is wrong with people these days…

Tim Drake: Okay. Tim is just so versatile. Yes, he’s absolutely morally opposed to killing. Yes, it’s a necessary evil. Yes, the thought of it makes him want to throw up. Yes, he’d do it in a heartbeat for you. Somehow, all of these thoughts coexist in his sick little head. What makes Tim a threat is the fact he’s extremely unstable. One day, he’s got himself in check; god, he would never kill anyone, why would he do that?! Then the next day, he seems to have a change of heart; if anyone even looks your way, he’s dumping anthrax in their cereal. His preferred method is something clean, but if he’s in a particularly bad mood, he may revert to some mutilation with his nails. On those particularly violent days, he’d much rather harm himself than others, but there is something cathartic about scratching at someone else while sobbing about minute problems. Though that’s one hell of a “did I do that” moment when it’s over.

Scott Summers: Yes. And he’ll fucking do it again, too. When it comes to you, this man has killed people by accident before. Did he give a shit? Absolutely not. Why would he care if someone doesn’t know how to protect their spinal column when taking a blow; especially if it’s someone who dared to lay a hand on you? And, yeah, he’s supposed to be a good role model for mutants all over the globe, but a good leader knows how to take calculated risks when needed. Your safety is his top priority, meaning he’ll do whatever he deems necessary to keep danger away. Man, is it just absolutely brutal watching someone’s skin melt away from the friction of one continuous optic blast. Who knew he could cave in skulls with that shit?

Bucky Barnes: Let’s be honest, is anyone surprised? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You could simply point to someone you hate and they’d be gone within the next 24 hours. Bucky isn’t here to fuck around. While he may regret any kills he was forced to carry out, he sure as hell doesn’t regret the ones he’s actively choosing to do. If anything, his conditioning has left him no other way to show his total devotion to you. Yes, this means you he leaves fresh human hearts at your doorstep. Yes, this means he strings up the remains of your annoying colleagues where you can see them outside. Yes, this means he watches you sleep while caked in blood and guts after every nightly kill. Some small part of him knows it’s wrong, but he really could not give less of a shit. So much for trying to reform him…

[bimobuddy]

Duckling

SFW Hazbin tk fic

Lee!Charlie, Ler!Lucifer

Obviously it should go without saying, but just in case, this is a strictly platonic father-daughter relationship

Summary: Lucifer reminisces about what moments he did get to have with Charlie, though upon realizing there's not many, he decides to make some more

I'm in my feels, I'm projecting :D sorry

Charlie looked up from her list of things to do around the Hotel, spotting her father. Deciding to take a break, she set the list down and jogged up to him. "Oh, dad! I was planning on watching this movie later, if you maybe wanted to watch it with me?" She asked, hopeful. Lucifer smiled up at his daughter, apologetically and took her hands. "Of course I would, Kiddo, but I'm in the middle of a project with my duck figurines. Maybe tomorrow though."

Her heart sank a little but she smiled back with a small nod. "Yeah, yeah that's no issue at all, Dad, it's okay. Tomorrow works." She gently tugged her hands away, picked up her list, and went back to work.

Lucifer couldn't help but feel bad turning her down. He did want to spend time with his little girl, but he also really wanted to finish this project. He was so close to being done with it, and it had to be perfect.

He headed back up to his room, shrugged his jacket off, and set his top hat on the rack nearby. As he sat down at his desk and picked up the duck figure, he thought back to the last time he had actually spent time with Charlie.

-

"Chaaaarlie~! Where aaare youuu~?" The king sang out. A small giggle sounded from behind him. Of course he knew where she was, but he couldn't catch her too soon. It would spoil the fun.

He placed his hands on his hips and stayed turned around. "I guess I'll never find my little duckling at this rate. What a shame." He heard quiet shuffling behind him as a certain little Princess tried to sneak away. He turned around quickly and playfully growled, "Come back here!" She squealed and tried to run, but he was quick to scoop the child up, tickling her tummy and kissing her cheeks.

She squealed and giggled, trying to push her father's face away. "Dahaddy noho! I have ihit, I'll gihive it bahack!" Lucifer stopped with a smile, and held his hand out. The child reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a little duck figurine, decorated to look like herself. She placed it in his hand with a soft pout, which quickly went away as he kissed her forehead.

"It's not finished yet, Duckling, but you can play with it when I'm done, okie dokie?"

She smiled back at him. "Okie dokie."

-

His eyes drifted to the old, faded, wooden duckling he had just been thinking about. It had been nearly two hundred years since then, leaving the paint cracked and faded, the dress tattered and worn, and the pig tails frizzy and a little messy.

He looked down at the duck in his hand. It also was made to look like Charlie. Only this time it had her bright red suit and ponytail.

Wow... Nearly two hundred years since I actively spent time with Charlie, and the one time she asks me to do something with her, I say no and instead opt to spend that time with a wooden representation of her.

He sighed, set the figurine down, scooted back from his desk, and left his room to go find his real daughter. As expected, she was back to working, looking down at her clipboard as she had just checked something off her list.

He walked up behind her and gently latched onto her ribs, just under her arms, grinning as she squealed and immediately dropped, her knees giving out due to shock; something she got from him. He followed her down, continuing to tickle her ribs and sides.

"I gotcha, Duckling!" He smiled, watching a familiar playful light return to her eyes. "Dahahad nohoho! Stahahap!" She squealed, pushing at his face the same way she used to. Lucifer tickled down her side, then skittered across her tummy, chuckling as she curled up into a ball around his hand, giggling.

She started to fight back more, pushing and gently slapping at his hands, while Lucifer just pushed back at hers and batted them out of the way to pinch at her ribs, earning another loud squeal that would dissolve into giggles.

He summoned his wings, reaching them over his shoulders to playfully brush at her tummy, neck, and ears. Charlie's giggles turned squeaky as she tried to swat him away. "Stohohop stohohop nohoho! Dahahad thihis ihihisn't fahahair! Wihihings are cheheating!" Lucifer chuckled at this. "Cheating? I wasn't aware there were rules suddenly." "Thehere ahahare, I'm thehe prihincess ahand I mahade them juhust nohow, ahand you're cheheheating!" The king laughed at this. She definitely took after him.

When he finally let up, she was still giggling, trying to calm herself down from the sudden attack. Lucifer helped her up, and started to tug her in the direction of the lobby. "Welp, come on, you said you had a movie to show me- Ah!" As soon as he mentioned the movie, Charlie raced ahead of him, now being the one to pull him toward the lobby. Easier for her since he was a full head shorter than she was.

Charlie practically tossed the surprised king to the couch and looked through her bag to find the movie she had been talking about. "Vaggie got a friend to bring it here, it's called 'Finding Nemo,' and this is what we're going to watch," she slide the tape into the weird VCR creature Alastor had made, then looked back at him, "Okie dokie?"

Lucifer gave a fond smile. "Okie dokie, Duckling."

[kokushibosbestie]

hey guys so I know I've been pretty inactive except for my moodboards but I'd like to finally address why.

I've been under a lot of stress lately due to finals for school coming up and having multiple projects to finish. Its been hard and I've kinda isolated myself because of it.

But also, the sentencing for the 2-year-long court case is tomorrow (Today, actually, because it's 12:46 where I am and I'm about to go to bed.) I have to write and read a victim impact speech, which is to the judge, offender, and the rest of the invited individuals. Its nerve-wracking considering I haven't even seen or spoken to the offender in years and this will be the first and last time before he goes to prison for 20+ years. Its crazy to think about that only just yesterday felt like 4th grade and he was still my "dad." (Stepdad, specifically).

I haven't been this nervous since elementary school, and that was years ago.

So please forgive me for not replying to concerns in my community and overall falling back on content and communication with you all. Just give me a little time (a week or so) to figure everything out so that I can begin posting and talking again.

Thank you so much to everyone supporting me, you guys really don't know how much it means. <3

Anyways, I have to go to bed so I don't look like a zombie in the morning, so goodnight or maybe good morning to all of you. Wish me luck! ❤💋

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Slow work

My husband insisted I take the rest of the year off because I made quilt after quilt after quilt, stopping only due to pain overwhelming me, for ten months straight. We compromised with me taking November off. Though that compromise was forced due to me being dealing with an infection and the side of effects of the antibiotics, and today will be the last two doses.

I'm finally starting to get bored, much to his dismay.

He, and my doctor, both insist I reduce how much time I spend sewing everyday. For my own welfare courtesy of a long list of chronic health issues, like hEDS, chronic pain, and various other fun factors. I started the year with "gotta keep going" aka too much. So then it was reduced to a max of six hours a day, then no more than four hours a day and no more than four days a week. We've finally figured out my real max: ten hours a week, spread out however I want.

Workaholic + ADHD + multiple other disabilities =/= a good mix.

I begin physical therapy next month, specifically for my hEDS. I'll be figuring out how to unlearn some things and train my muscles to serve as splints so my joints stop dislocating. That, and finally getting the proper therapy for my left hands/wrist. The PT I received last year for this ongoing issue did not address my hypermobility. I was diagnosed in July of this year, but looking back...it was very obvious I have hEDS. Plus, the place I had PT was not a good place at all. If you live in the Springfield/Eugene region of Oregon, please avoid going to Slocum Orthopedics. My doctor told me if she had known they would be the ones to pick up the referral put in the system, she would've put in a note NOT to have them do so. Many of her patients have had nothing but poor experiences there.

If the physical therapist I'm assigned to tells me to work no more than ten hours, that's where I'll stay at. Will it slow down my work? Obviously, yes, but once I get the hang of machine quilting, it will speed up considerably. 200 hour handquilting projects will be reduced to less than fifty. At least, according to people I've spoken to who have done handquilting and machine quilting.

My intentions were to make a stack of panel quilts this month, but my body demanded otherwise. Tomorrow, I'll begin working on gifts for my ko-fi members, and then some small quick things for friends and a few family members. My baby sister (she's the youngest of us three and I'm the Eldest) has two children, and they live with my/our parents. My mother insisted I not make anything for them "because they have so much stuff already." That's five gifts not to concern myself with. Works for me!

Once I have the gifts done, of which there'll be a little a dozen, I'll turn my focus to making panel quilts using the easiest and quickest patterns that aren't boring. I'm thinking six total, all for practice, and all of them will be listed at a 25%-50% discount from what I would otherwise charge for the amount of work and supply costs. Of course, you will have the option to pay more. That will always be an option in my shop. Said quilts won't be listed until the end of January though, so don't go thinking you can hold off on purchasing them with my Yuletide coupon code.

Each quilt top will take probably ten hours each, so that's five or six weeks of just quilt tops before switching to the actual quilting. Then it may be another ten hours of quilting each one. So that's 20 hours. Let's say each panel was $18 USD, and the fabric for the borders, binding, and blocks came to $40 USD, the backing another $30 USD, and the other miscellaneous things (thread, sewing needles, rotary blade, etc) come to around $25 USD. That'll be $653 USD, and at a 50% discount, the quilt will be listed at $326.50 USD. If you're one of my members, you'll also receive an automatic 15% off that, which brings it to $277.50. I dunno about the rest of y'all, but that's more than fair.

Because I haven't gotten around to making all the giveaway prizes owed, I'll be giving the winners, and those promised a quilt for other reasons, first dibs. If none want what I've made, the quilt will be listed. If you would like to ensure you get on the list for one of these, you have a few options for how:

for one of these quilts, you'll need to spend at least $250 USD on my Throne wishlist. It can be one thing that reaches the amount, or many things combined, that reach the minimum for one of these quilts,

or help me reach my current goal posted on my Ko-fi page. It can be with a purchase from my shop or a donation. Personally, I would rather it be a purchase; space in my house is limited due to there being no closets to speak of. However, thi option puts you in the giveaway for a free quilt with no guarantee you'll win;

or become one of my Ko-fi members. This work similar to what another website has set up, but more user friendly. It's monthly support, so an automatic payment of an amount you choose. The minimum is $5 USD/month, the max is $100/USD. Look over the benefits I have listed. My member receive a postcard from me every month, and no less than two gifts over the course of the year. The gifts replace the postcard for that month. This option also has the same outcome as the second; each of my members is automatically entered into the giveaways I have, but there's no promise they'll win.

Work will be slow, and my mind is doing everything it can to make me feel ashamed about it. Workaholic mentality is something I'll be unlearning over the next several months. I just need to get myself to stop shaming myself for not being able to work at the pace abled folks can.

[noirvette]

kyle! comforting reader dealing w/ academic stress!!

another headcanons and scenario!!

so sorry for this being a couple days since u requested anon, i hope you're doing wonderfully <3 all the best to u!!

cws: none!

Kyle gets this a lot, he has a lot of pressure that he puts on himself to maintain high grades, a social life, and to do good in basketball. His parents don't help either with this.

He 100% gets you when you start getting stressed out and panicked over grades or even stressed out on maintaining a certain grade.

If you're stressed over upcoming things to turn in, he helps you organize by importance and then by date. What homework assignment is the most important to due and when is it due, is there an essay? How many minutes a day should you spend on that essay and/or how many paragraphs should you do in a day. That sort of thing.

If you're stressed by a recent drop in a grade, he'll help you figure out ways to improve your grade, even if that means typing an email to your teacher for you by asking for any offers of extra credit.

He'll even help you figure out what grade percent you need to get on your next exam to help boost your grade back up.

He then'll help you study for that exam or test.

He loves to help you study, not only does he get to hang out with you, he gets to help you.

It's a two birds one stone situation for him to be able to help you and spend quality time.

If you come to him upset, his first instinct is to just hold you and rub your back as you explain the situation to him. He'll offer to make you tea or coffee, (or even get water if neither of the other options are for you) in hopes of helping you calm down.

He's a bit awkward on the whole just purely listening to you, Kyle's logical, and finds it easier to give you solutions to help fix your problems. (He'll get better at just listening if you remind him about that, he'll still prefer to give solutions though).

Which, because he's logical, wants to absolutely help you if you need or want him too. He hates seeing you stressed over things.

Knocking at Kyle's front door, you pick at your nails, waiting for Kyle to let you in. As he opens the door, you briskly walk past him towards his living room and he immediately senses your distress.

"Y/n? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Kyle asks, closing the door shut and following you as you sit on his couch.

"It's.. it's my grades in physics and history. We have a project coming up in history and I just don't get physics at ALL and my grade recently dropped and now I'm near failing. I can't focus in on history and midterms made my grade update and my gpa is so low, Kyle what do I do?!" You stand up abruptly, pacing back and forth, the stress of school causing your emotions to boil over at an all time high.

You feel like crying, you are crying actually and Kyle gently wraps his arms around your shoulders, before his hands start rubbing circles in between your shoulder blades.

"Oh hon, it's okay. Shh, how about I help you with physics. I can tutor you and help you with that class starting tomorrow?" He squeezes you a bit, rocking you back in forth slightly.

He feels you nod against him and he kisses the top of your head, "perfect, you relax right now, I'll get you something to drink. The history project isn't due for a couple more weeks so let's focus on physics for right now. I'll help you with your project too if you need, okay?"

Afraid to verbally respond in case you cry even more, you just nod again. Kyle guides you to sit on the couch, "let's just watch some tv baby, I'll go get us some blankets and drinks."

[absoluteaudacitywrites]

Lake Time Loop

A little while ago I had a plan with some other writers to write a fic where Henry gets stuck in a time loop at The Lake and has to hear Alex confess he's in love over and over again, night after night, while he tries to figure out how to get out of the situation. We each wrote a section.

Unfortunately the project fell apart due to one reason or another. The thing is, I'd written my whole section and I really like it! It's very angsty, which is out of the norm for me. So, I thought I'd share it here as a throw-away piece of writing that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day.

Enjoy! (Oh and tw: heavy alcohol consumption, vomiting described in detail, dark/self-harming thoughts from Henry)

-----------------------------------------

Henry is losing his mind.

He has to be. He can’t actually be stuck in a time loop. He must be in a little padded room somewhere, imagining all this. Repressing his gay urges has finally sent him spare.

If he is imagining, or even worse, if he’s not, there seems to be no consequences here. In that case, why does he have to keep behaving in a manner befitting the crown? 

Maybe, Henry thinks, just maybe, if he gets drunk enough today he won’t have to comprehend the look in Alex’s eyes at the lake. He’ll simply get too sloshed to understand or care. It’s as good a plan as any, stuck as he is.

“Woah,” Alex says, as Henry pours a generous measure of brandy into his tea directly after breakfast. He’d sent a PPO off to a local town to buy him some supplies while everyone was still in bed. Buying brandy at seven in the morning; only in the USA. God bless America. “You okay there?”

“I feel like I’m getting a cold,” Henry lies, taking a large gulp of his beverage. It burns going down in exactly the way he was hoping it would. “This is a common home remedy in England.”

Alex raises an eyebrow at him, but Henry holds his gaze until he shrugs. “If you say so.”

Henry surreptitiously keeps up the cups of tea until lunch, switching to the sangria which has been made when the others start drinking with the meal. He has more than a buzz going already and he knows he is on his way to his goal of getting sloppy. He distantly wonders if the loop will re-set without him getting a hangover. 

After lunch everyone heads to the lake, a cooler of beers being carried down by Alex and Oscar, and Henry sits on the edge of the short dock with his feet in the water, drinking cold lager with the determination of a man possessed. He doesn’t swim. He can’t really feel his arms and legs very well anymore and he doesn’t want to drown. 

A morbid thought tells him that might be an effective end to his means. He drinks some more beer about it.

“Hey baby,” Alex says, swimming up and tugging on Henry’s leg. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Henry manages to slur. “I’m having a great time.”

Alex stares up at him, looking thoughtful and slightly concerned. “Okay,” he says eventually, and swims back to June and Nora. Henry can see them talking quietly, and catches the moment that June flicks a glance at him over her shoulder. He’s obviously worrying them, but he finds it hard to care - both because he’s very drunk and because he’s sure that all of this won’t matter tomorrow.

When the others get tired of swimming they all head back to the house, and Henry, having lost count of the number of drinks he’s had, finds that it is somewhat difficult to walk in a straight line. Almost immediately Alex is under his arm, gripping him around the waist and helping him walk the short distance to the house, where he dumps him in a chair on the porch. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, crouching down with his hands on his knees so he’s at Henry’s eye level. 

“Nothing,” Henry manages to mumble. 

“Henry, you’re completely hammered,” Alex says, and he sounds upset. “I know that’s not you.”

“No you don’t,” Henry slurs. “You don’t know me …. know me as well as you think.”

Alex’s eyes widen and he looks quite hurt, but it’s momentary and his face softens into sympathy. “I’m getting you some water,” he says, heading inside, and Henry wants to scream. Getting drunk wasn’t supposed to make Alex even more affectionate towards him. Why isn’t this working?

Slowly, on legs that won’t quite work, Henry stands. He still has half a bottle of brandy stashed in the room he’s sharing with Alex. If he can get that and down it, he hopes he’ll simply black out, removing any likelihood that Alex will confess.

When Henry walks into the house it’s clear he’s being talked about again. This time Nora, June and Alex are clustered around Oscar. They all look up as he enters, and concern is written across all their faces. Henry draws himself up to his full height and ignores them, staggering across the room and using furniture to keep himself upright, his sights set firmly on his goal.

Halfway across the room a strong hand clamps around his arm. “Son, where are you going?” Oscar asks, his expression deeply concerned. Alex is hovering just behind him. 

“‘m gonna lie down,” Henry manages to lie. Oscar gives him a searching look, but then loosens his hold.

“That might be a good idea,” he says. “But we should get some water in you first.”

“Don’t need it,” Henry says, turning towards the bedrooms again. This time Oscar lets him go, and through his haze Henry hears him telling Alex they’ll keep an eye on him during the afternoon. He makes it to the bedroom and quickly finds the brandy, lying down on the bottom bunk and hiding the bottle next to him under the sheets.

Alex comes in the room with a glass of water. “Will you please drink this?” he asks softly, holding out the glass, and Henry’s heart gives a lurch in his chest. Why is he doing this again? He’s obviously hurting Alex, who he has never wanted to hurt even for a moment. He forces himself to sit up and takes the glass, draining the water without looking at Alex and passing it back. 

Then, unable to look at the sad expression on Alex’s face, he turns and curls in on himself, hoping Alex will leave.

It hurts a lot when he does. Henry pulls the brandy out and drinks as much as he can in one breath, sick of the day and Alex’s hurt and this whole fucking loop he is stuck in. He pulls the bottle away from his mouth and pants for a moment, his hand slipping on the bottle and sloshing quite a bit of the brown liquid onto his chest, then finishes off the rest in a second pull.

The warmth of the brandy burns in his chest and Henry feels his stomach begin to roil against all the alcohol in his system, but as the spirit takes effect on him his vision begins to narrow to a point and his thoughts swim and then he feels nothing at all.

“Henry? Son, can you hear me? June, get a bowl. He’s breathing, I cleared his mouth out, he’s going to be okay, Alex. Mierda, why would he do this? Has he been under any sort of stress?”

Henry lets out a soft, involuntary groan. His face is sticky, especially around his mouth, and all he can taste is bile.

“Henry?! Henry, can you hear me?” It’s Alex’s voice, sounding strained and panicked. He feels hands on him, and then there’s some shuffling and they’re removed.

“Mijo, I know you’re worried, but you’re not helping. Just leave him for a moment, will you? Nora, can you -”

Henry hears Alex swearing and Nora cajoling and then there’s the sound of a door closing and their voices become more distant. He wants to stop them, to tell Alex to come back, and that he’s sorry and he knows he fucked up, but he can’t move. He tries to open his eyes but all his eyelids do is flutter. He groans again and feels the sensation of vomit surging up his throat.

Someone, Oscar he supposes, holds his head over the edge of the bed as he expunges the contents of his stomach. He vomits so hard it comes out his nose too, and by the time he finishes he’s letting out cracked sobs and his face is wet with sweat and tears. Oscar’s strong hands push him back onto the mattress and he feels a towel being wiped over his face. Slowly, he manages to squint his eyes open, and he finds Alex’s father on his knees next to the bottom bunk, looking at him with concern written across his features.

“Do you know where you are, Henry?” he asks.

“Lake,” Henry manages hoarsely.

“That’s right. What day is it?”

“S-Saturday?”

“Okay,” Oscar says. He watches Henry for a moment, a frown settling on his face. “I’m not going to ask why you purposely tried to drink yourself into a blackout,” he says in a low voice. “But I can tell you I am not impressed.” He sighs, looking Henry over. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my son is in love with you, and as his father I am now invested in making sure he’s not with someone who is going to make these kinds of selfish, self-destructive decisions.”

Henry shuts his eyes. Oscar keeps talking, but he doesn’t hear him. His plan has failed. He got drunk enough. He made himself sick. 

But he still had to hear that Alex loves him.

[maochira]

Working at Blue Lock/father figure!Ego introduction

Tags: gn!reader, overworker and overachiever!reader, reader is a graphic designer, artist and assistant at Blue Lock

A/N: I want to make this a series so feel free to request more for father figure!Ego!! A part two to this will come soon as well! Also, this originally goes for one of my Blue Lock OCs, but I want to write it as an x reader for you guys to enjoy and because I prefer writing reader inserts💟

Working at Blue Lock is your first job ever, so ever since the beginning you swore to yourself that you'll put all of your power and passion into this. Especially because of how passionate Ego is about Blue Lock, you want to do your best to help him

Ego tends to give you very tight deadlines almost all the time. It's to be expected that at least once a day he'll tell you something like "You need to do this until tomorrow", or "I have this speech planned later, you need to do this until then", but nothing about that ever bothered you. It's on the opposite side, you've always been happy about getting tasks from him and feel good about being helpful to the project.

Most of your work consists of designing and drawing player icons and all the graphics Ego shows on his screens during his speeches. Every time he holds his speeches, you're in the back of the room to watch. To you, it's like seeing your work come to life, and that's always been your dream.

Ego often criticizes your work when you show him your ideas or sketches. But that's part of working as a graphic designer and artist. Even though his criticism tends to come off as harsh and cold, you're always happy to follow his wishes. And hey, in the end, it's always worth it because you get at least a little bit of praise. It's never much, usually just a simple "Good work, (Y/N)-chan" but for you, it's enough.

But due to your hard work, you pull at least one all-nighter a week. You'd still be able to finish all your tasks on time even if you got a healthy amount of sleep, but you always get so lost in your work that it keeps you awake all night. A part of that is passion, but another part is your overworking nature.

You rarely tell Ego and Anri about your all-nighters, you either act as if you got up extra early or just briefly mention something like "I couldn't fall asleep" and laugh it off. Ego never showed any concern over it, but Anri certainly did.

And for the first months, sleep deprivation didn't have that many effects on you. Surprisingly. Your passion kept you going. Well, until you pulled an all-nighter after a night with only 3 hours of sleep. Even caffeine couldn't save you anymore. You really try to keep your eyes open, but they get so heavy that they just close on their own and you end up falling asleep at your desk.

In the meantime, Ego is rewatching recordings of Blue Lock matches, until he sees you asleep at your desk. His first instinct is to wake you up and yell at you to continue your work, but he's so hesitant about it, he changes his mind after second thought. He remembers how you've been working extra hard lately and knows your current task isn't that urgent, so he simply lets you sleep.

But when you wake up, a rush of panic runs through your body. You immediately look up at your computer which has gone into sleep mode by now. You turn around to see Ego, still sitting on his chair.

"You finally woke up, huh?" His voice doesn't give off any particular emotion, but you automatically think he's mad at you for falling asleep during your work hours.

You open your mouth to apologize, but your mind is still a bit fuzzy and not properly awake yet. Before any words actually get out, Ego continues: "It was about time you got some proper sleep."

"Sorry, I've been-"

"No need to apologize," Ego interrupts you, "Just don't let this happen again."

"I won't, I promise." You answer before turning your computer back on, ready to finish whatever you were working on before you fell asleep.

"You really need to take better care of yourself." Ego tells you in a stern voice. "Get more sleep and pay attention to your health. I don't want you to get sick."

"Oh?" You turn around to face his direction. What he said makes you laugh a little. "Aren't you the one with eyebags who only eats instant noodles?"

Ego is slightly taken aback by your response and for a moment he struggles to find an answer. "Are you talking back to me?" Is the only thing he manages to come up with.

"I wouldn't call it talking back," you answer as you turn your head back to your computer, "I'm just surprised why you'd care more about me than taking care of yourself."

And with this, you've got yourself your own personal Ego speech.

"Listen, (Y/N)-chan. I 'care' for you in a way an employer cares for one of his workers. Because that's what you and I are. I can't have you getting sick or breaking down because you exhaust yourself too much. That would mean I would have to look for a temporary replacement which would cost time and money. Plus, your work is great even under these conditions and I doubt I'd find anyone else who's as passionate about this as you are. But even with that, I don't want you to exhaust yourself this much again. It's true that I appreciate your hard work, but with your hard work comes the need of taking care of yourself. Understood?"

Halfway through his speech, you turned back to look at him again. His expression and tone are not much different from how he usually is, but what he says still surprises you in some way. You and Ego never had a deeper conversation on anything, but this is starting to pick up your curiosity, so you decide to continue.

"That still doesn't explain why you'd tell me to take better care of myself when you uhm, you know."

"Leading Blue Lock comes with its sacrifices." Ego responds, "If I'll lose sleep over it, I'm willing to sacrifice that. But I'm not willing to let you sacrifice your health."

"So you're worried about me?"

Ego lets out a short frustrated sigh. "As I already said, I care for you in a way an employer cares for their worker. You're not much more than a tool to help my dream come alive."

You only nod in response and return to your work. You want to continue this conversation, but Ego's frustrated sigh is a sign to stop.

Even though what Ego said could definitely hurt someone's feelings, especially because of his stern tone, just him mentioning he cares about you in some way makes you happy. Sure, to him you're not much more than a tool to achieve his dream, but that still means you have some sort of important role for him. Be it in an employer-worker way, you're just happy to be useful.

As you continue your given task, Ego finds himself unable to concentrate on his own work. He thinks of his own words he just said to you moments ago and they keep repeating in his head until he wonders if he even spoke the truth.

Sure, in theory, you're not much more than an employee to him. But something about seeing how you overworked yourself and even sacrificed a lot of sleep just for the tasks he's given you made him truly realize how hard you've been working ever since the beginning of Blue Lock. It awakened some sort of protectiveness over you inside of him.

And even when he's back to focusing on his work every now and then his gaze wanders over to you with slight concern. He can't help but ask himself: Is this the kind of protectiveness a father feels about their child?

[forgetfulminks]

Guide to Prioritising

I saw a post about this and I disagreed with some of the things they said in the post, so I wanted to make my own! While I disagreed with some of the stuff in it, it's still a really helpful guide and you can read it here if you want to.

Sometimes, you have unproductive days where you just procrastinate, and that's ok. You are not pathetic or lazy for doing that. Procrastination is usually a sign that you are overwhelmed and burnt out, which means you probably need to take a break. But what do you do when you really need to finish an assignment for school or a project for work and you still want to procrastinate? This is where prioritising can help you! Figuring out what needs to get done first and what things can wait can decrease your overall workload. So, here's how to do it:

Step 0: The Non-negotiables

These are things you need to remember to prioritise above anything else. These are things that people forget about sometimes, especially in times of stress.

Sleep

Drink water

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (don't just have little snacks, you need at least 2-3 proper meals)

Take breaks - you need to take breaks as you're working. You can use the pomodoro method if you want, or something else. I like to do 1-2hrs of work and then a 30-40min break.

Make sure that you prioritise these first! Now that we have that out of the way, let's begin with step 1.

Step 1: What are the most important things?

Figure out what things need to be done now and cannot be put off. These are things that need to be done today, tomorrow, or within the next 3-5 days. If you want to write a to-do list, these are the things that should be at the top and should be done first. It might be a bill you need to pay, it might be some homework you need to do, it might be a test you need to study for, or an email you need to send. Whatever it is, start with these things, do them first, get them out of the way, and that will relieve a lot of your stress. If it's something big that will take a lot of time, then that might be the only thing you do today, and that's ok. Whatever it is, make sure you get it done before you even start thinking about anything else.

Step 2: What are things that need to be done soon?

After finishing the immediate things that need to be done, you can start thinking about the things that are coming up. These are things that need to be done in 1-2 weeks. You can either start it if you haven't already, or write a plan on how you are going to finish it. I personally don't like to plan out how I'm going to finish something, I prefer to just start and do a little bit every day, but everyone is different. The point is to at least start thinking about it to avoid stressing in the future.

Step 3: What are the things you can let go?

After doing the things you need to and starting the things that are coming up, you can now figure out what things can wait for later. These are things that are not urgent and can be put off until later, or things that are due in more than 3 weeks. I know that when you're stressed, your brain wants to worry about every little thing possible. But after you do the big things, then you can think about what is actually important and what isn't. For example, if you're worrying about doing your laundry, ask yourself if it really needs to be done now or if it can be done later. If you usually go to the gym and you're stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to take a break from it today so you can focus on other things. If you're stressing about an assignment that's due months from now, remind yourself that you have a lot of time and you don't need to be worrying about it now. However, if you try to put these things out of your mind and you still find yourself stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to start it or do at least a little bit of it just for your own mental health. Sometimes when we try not to worry about things we worry about them even more. This last step is meant to help you stop worrying about the little things, and if your way to do this is to get them out of the way, then you can do that! Just make sure you don't burn yourself out by doing too many or use these little tasks to procrastinate on a more important task.

Step 4: Prioritise You

After you finish the big assignments, get a head start on future projects, and get rid of the lesser important tasks, it's time to recharge and prioritise yourself! You've done so well keeping up with all these things you need to do, now it's time for some me time! Do whatever it is you need to do to relax, wind-down, decrease your anxiety, and just forget about the pressure of life for a little bit. It could be watching a movie or some videos, playing a game, reading a book, writing something, enjoying some self care, eating some tasty food, whatever it is. It's important to remember to worry about yourself after you've spent a whole day worrying about your work.

And that's my guide to prioritising! I hope this helps you with planning out your workload and making schedules!

[clarafyer]

This is gonna be a long vent post so uh yeah

Cw: Detailed description of a shutdown/meltdown

So a few hours ago during the last period of school I had a big shutdown that turned into a meltdown the second the dean asked "Are you done with your work?" (I do my English mainly in the dean's office since she helps 504 kids and my classmates are horrible in English)

Our last unit of the year is a podcast unit. I finally finished the first recording assignment the other day, one that was like 2 weeks late but only a few days late with my 200% time accommodation, and now I have one thing to do. One thing out of all of my classes at the moment. It's another podcast, and is normally due tomorrow. We've had 2 weeks so far to work on it and I haven't even finished the planning sheet because EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THE FUCKING DOCUMENT I JUST SHUT DOWN AND SIT THERE FOR THE ENTIRE HOUR.

The past few days, it's made me cry silently and unmoving in my seat. The dean didn't notice until today, and the shut down turned into a melt down right when she didn't even ask if I was okay, she asked if I finished my work. I was hyperventilating and trying my best to be as quiet as I could as to not be a burden upon the rest of the front office area. I wanted to punch the chromebook, to scream at the top of my lungs, to tear my hair out. But no, I just sat there hyperventilating and sniffling, hunched over the table, apologizing for no reason.

Well, I was apologizing for being a loud mess and not listening to her on how I could write the introduction because naming Princess Diana's charities in the very introduction would be way too obvious (the podcast is Imagined Life, you go through the life of a celebrity, describing it in the second person and only revealing who it is at the end)

I still have the same straight As that I've had all year, but if I don't finish this fucking unit that I hate so much, then my English grade is gonna drop so low because each podcast project is almost 100 points each and is put into the test category on Skyward (tests are worth 30-something% of the full grade.) I don't want to do this unit, I hate it so much and I can't muster up anything to progress on it.

When she would tell me to type it up, I could barely even do the function, I wasn't able to do any of the tasks I had to do the entire period. All I could do was just reach my hand out to the keyboard and then just pull it right back to my face.

I felt so fucking guilty and ashamed for not doing anything, I know I was rendered useless and had to cope and get away from the problem, but I felt like I couldn't do that, I couldn't do that, otherwise I'd be lazy and stubborn and a cry-baby and just having a big temper tantrum.

I remember it so vividly and I think that was one of the worst I've ever had.

I hate this

I hate being like this

I hate masking

I hate unmasking too

What went wrong this year? I thought I was doing great, only a few late assignments before I got my 504, so few meltdowns compared to the last few years, I finally started figuring out why my brain is how it is

Oh

That was where it went wrong. I started advocating for an autism diagnosis and when I got evaluated by the school, they said I missed the communication category and legally didn't qualify for autism-related accommodations. Sure, they said I still was totally likely to be medically diagnosed positive, but all the doubt, all the questioning, all the impostor syndrome, all of EVERYTHING is where this year went wrong.

I don't want to write anymore so if you read all of this, thank you. I don't care if anyone interacts or not, but I really needed to vent and connect with the rest of the autistic community. I can't wait for this school year to be over.

[cts-ryu-writing-desk]

She's My Boss

I wrote this one a while back. I was so wrapped up in finishing Maternoween on a tight schedule that I have been neglecting to post this one. So now that the project is finished I am getting to posting some of my new ones. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~

"You coming out with Ethan?" A man's voice rang out of the receiver

A young man was sitting in a dark office room illuminated by his computer screen. "Sorry guys. My boss has been riding me about finishing these quarterly reports before Monday," 

"Dude she's working you to death, tell her to go fuck herself," Ethan's friend said over the receiver

"You know I can't, I need this job" Ethan replied

Ethan's friend let out a loud groan, "Ugh fine. But you're coming out with us tomorrow shitbag. No bailing," his friend hung up

Ethan let out a sigh hanging up his office phone. He remembered eight months ago when he had just shown up for his first day of work. A blonde woman named Debbie who worked in human resources met him in the lobby and brought him to the nineteenth floor. To a sales firm, the Office of Bryton & Donahue. Being handed it over to the receptionist who then handed him off to the team lead and led him on over to his work area. Mr. Bryton had come over to introduce himself. He happily welcomed Ethan to the company. Mr. Bryton was a nice bald man, around his early fifties. Ethan liked his friendly nature.

Until Ethan met Mr. Bryton’s partner, Trisha Donahue. She was a tall woman, towering over Ethan’s five-foot-two self. She was curvaceous, with an hourglass figure with such plump features. Big breasts that bounced subtly with each step of her stride, with her big hips swaying in a hypnotic curve. Trisha looked like a cougar, the kind of woman Ethan had masturbated to rather frequently. With a fiery temper to boot. Trisha knew what she wanted and expected her employees to follow through with it. After all, someone doesn’t become the leading business partner by being nice all the time. Bryton was the Charm and she was the Whip. 

He came over to Ethan, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She shouted at him and Mr. Bryton. “Don't just stand around looking like an idiot! Get your ass to work! I don’t pay people to stand around and do fucking nothing!” She shouted louder storming over to him.

“Trisha he just started, I was giving him a proper welcome and making sure everything's set.” Mr. Bryton told her casually

“I don’t care! This isn’t an art gallery! Don’t just stand around!” Trisha turned back and stormed away. 

Ethan got sight of her swaying hips. Her fat ass was quite the distraction. And such an exciting thing. Ethan quickly turned away and sat in his cubicle facing his computer. Mr. Bryton saw this and came over to him, “Look don’t worry about her. She can be a bit of a hardass sometimes but she means well.”

“Y-Yeah. It’s alright.” Ethan replied nervously

Mr. Bryton wished him luck and left. He left Ethan there alone with a few files and log-in notes. And a throbbing erection. Ethan tried to calm himself down. But it was quite a while before that throbbing hard-on finally went down. After it finally calmed down, took time to learn the ropes of his job. A few weeks later he felt he was doing so well on the job. But whenever Trisha was around, it was another story. Ethan just tried to stay quiet and keep up with the workload. 

That was until he had to work a crazy overnight shift. He was working hard trying to compile everything into a comprehensive report. That he was asked to do so his supervisor can focus on another project. It was due by the next morning. Sadly to say no one had started it before handing it off to him. One of those tasks was handed off near the end of the day, followed by the deadlines. Ethan worked well into the night, the last time he was aware it was nine-thirty at night. The janitor had already left for the night. The office was quiet and dark. Illuminated only by his glowing computer screen. Ethan was hunched over, his head in his hands. A loading bar wasn’t even twenty-five percent by that point. 

A string of texts from his friends showing off the party Ethan was missing out on. He closed out his texts. Let out an annoyed and frustrated sigh. He pulled out his phone, going straight to the internet. It opened up to a news page. Touching and entering a simple URL, he was sent to another webpage. With thumbnails of plump thick bodied women. Big curvaceous women; with large breasts and some with big cellulite hips. The banner and name on the website in big bold letters read BBWCougars.xxx. Ethan was logged into his account on the site. Pressing on his favorites tab. Scrolling down and picking one of the dozens of videos that he had favourited. 

Figuring no one else was around, he simply let it play loudly echoing through the empty office. Undoing his pants and letting everything slide down to his ankles as he stored his long thin cock in his hand. It was enticing, his heart was racing, letting out little moans of enjoyment. He was getting closer, as the video reached its climaxing end. He didn’t hear the footsteps behind him. 

It was Trisha, a look of disgust, she was ready to confront him. That’s when Ethan blew his load. He was pent up, and boy could he fire a load. He threw himself as far back in the chair as he could. Blowing his load over him and right onto Trisha’s chest and chin. She didn’t say a word. Ethan slowly opened his eyes, seeing his white seed sticking out over his boss's black top. A horrible chill washed over him. Trisha just looked at him, the scene of him trying to get up suddenly. She stormed off, he tried to apologize profusely but it was too late. She stormed away. “Fuck, I’m gonna get fired,” he murmured to himself.

The next morning, around when Ethan was supposed to go into the office he simply stood in the lobby debating on running away. Just avoid going in at all today. Eventually and slowly making his way up to the nineteenth floor. Ethan kept himself on high alert. From what he could notice, nobody was saying anything. Or nothing that would or did sound suspicious. His ID card gave him access to the office. Maybe he was fine, or maybe this was all part of her plan, humiliate him in front of the office. Trisha’s secretary came over, “She wants to speak with you in her office.”

“Now…?” Ethan asked nervously

“Yes. Now.” the secretary said

Ethan went right over. His heart was racing. This was it. This was the moment he was getting fired. Trisha sat there looking at her monitor. “Shut the door,” she said sternly

Ethan did as he was told.

“Sit down,” Trisha ordered him

Ethan’s body was shaking. This was the moment he was getting fired. She cleared her throat, her eyes fixed on him. “Do you know why I called you in here?”

“Y-yes ma’am,” Ethan replied nervously

“About your behavior last night, and that mess you made on me, I should fire you right now.”

Ethan clenched up.

“The real question is why shouldn’t I?” Trisha shot at him

Ethan looked down, trying to think of something to say. He stood up shaking nearly in tears. He was scared. He knew he would have to beg for his job. “You’re fired,”  Ethan knew the words were coming any second now.

Trisha didn’t hesitate, “Pants off. Now,” she told him

Ethan was thrown for a loop at that moment. She got up and went right over to him. Forcing his pants down. He was perplexed. Ethan’s cock however, after feeling a woman’s touch, was not confused and easily stood firm and fully erect. Trisha wrapped her hand around it. It was warm. He whimpered a little. As she pumped his shaft up and down. It was like a dream. He wanted to say something. It was all happening so fast. “Hmmm. Not a two-pump chump at least” Trisha murmured to herself

She let go. Ethan’s heart was racing. “I won’t fire you, not yet anyways.”

“Huh?” Ethan let out

Trisha stood up in front of him, his cock left out in the open. "If you can make me orgasm before the end of the lunch today I won't fire you,"

Ethan's eyes shimmered in disbelief, and he started to drool. His cock was so hard and throbbing that it hurt. Trisha headed over to her chair 

Legs spread as she leaned back. He went in without hesitation taking in every bit of the experience the feeling of her warm thighs, the smell of her pussy, and even the feeling of her untamed forest of pubes as he moved her panties to one side. Burying his face into her fupa, letting his tongue explore. He was going at it vigorously burying his face deeper, to explore further. She could feel his lips and tongue exploring, searching desperately for her clit. His search made her wet from his drool.

Her phone rang. She answered, figuring Ethan was nowhere close to making her so much as flinch. Fortunately, the distraction gave him the perfect opportunity to bury his face nose deep completely going to town. The analogy playing out in Ethan’s head was like a fat guy in a pie-eating contest. Face deep and her clit. Wrapping his arms around her big thighs bracing himself in place so she couldn’t force him off. Her body tensed up as he found her click licking it wildly with his tongue. Sucking on it, getting it onto his lips. She could even feel his teeth. She tried to keep her composure during the call. She put her hand on his head trying to force Ethan’s head away from her. Out of reach of her pussy. She tried to clench her legs, crushing his head between her thighs. Anything she could to get Ethan to stop for a moment.

Once she hung up the phone he came up for air. Her crotch was drenched. Ethan was panting rapidly for air. Eyes glossed over in a daze. She looked at him ready to scream out at him. Instead of screaming she had to stop him from going back in. “What the fuck is with this kid?”  What she heard next told her exactly the kind of guy she was dealing with.

“Give me more Mommy,” Ethan just let it fly out of his mouth in a sexually charged intoxicated state

She let him go back in against her better judgment. And of course, Ethan managed to get her to climax not letting up as she orgasmed all over his face. Burying himself deeper wanting to taste every bit of her as she came. As the weeks went on she would drag Ethan away pretending to be furious about something he had done in the office. The two of them would fool around: Sucking, fucking, and fingering whenever the mood came over Trisha. She even started inviting him over or picking him up on the weekend wanting him more.

Ethan couldn’t get enough of her. He was falling in love with her body and her taste. While being prepared as a good man should. She would pull off his condoms. “You won’t need those, there’s no way you're putting anything in there anyways” Ethan remembers telling him once. 

To be fair he couldn’t recall. He just remembers being more aggressive with his fucking. Her ass made ripples as he thrust into her. Slapping her ass with enough force to turn her cheeks red. He would fuck her regularly multiple times during the day like a jackhammer. Hardly ever slowing down. Insisting that he was going to knock her up. “I’ll fuck you so good you’ll just wanna get pregnant.”

She tried to ignore his obnoxious male stupidity. She just wanted more. More rough sex. Lots of hair pulling, spanking, and some deep creampies, among other rather inventive decadences. Getting drunk on sex, practically skipping out on days of work because the two of them were just fucking without any caution. There were times she found it hard to keep him away. Loving the stamina of the young horny. A man in the prime of his sexual life. And this was all just within a month of starting their rambunctious sexcapades. It was a wild time leading him to where he was now. He got up, left the dark room, and headed down the hall to the bedroom. “Ethan! Is that you?” Trisha called out

“Yes baby, Just had to make sure my last distraction, was taken care of,” He said walking into another room while undoing his tie.

Trisha sat there in a bright red silken lingerie nightgown. Her belly was swollen. Giving her a very gravid appearance. She traced her hand over her stomach. Ethan could see some of the stretch marks, from her various growth spurts. A sign showing how far she had progressed in her pregnancy. Ethan had a big smile on his face as he went over to her gently placing his hands on her baby bump. “We missed you,” Trisha said sheepishly

“I wasn’t gone that long.” Ethan chirped, “Plus I’m not missing out on some quality time with my girls.”

Trisha looked at him blushing, “I told you they’re not girls. They’re boys.”

Ethan chuckled, “Well maybe one. But I’m sure all three are gonna be girls,”

Trisha pouted, “God that would be a nightmare.” 

Ethan sat next to her reaching close to her to plant a big kiss on her. “Don’t worry baby. If they are all girls I promise we’ll make more,”

Trisha blushed. “I-I-No. Yes. God Ethan baby please- No. I’m sure I’ll hit menopause soon”

“All the more reason to get you pregnant again as soon as possible,” Ethan said with lust in his voice

Trisha’s face went bright red. She ran through her memories of the countless unhindered sex the two had. Saying she was fine, close to menopausal - yet he still managed to impregnate her. She truly loved the attention he would give to her. He was well attuned to her physical needs and desires. And despite being shorter, and thinner than she was he loved her body, and the fact that she was pregnant now making her look larger drove him wild. Trisha snapped back trying to compose herself. “Well, if you insist”

She opened her eyes seeing Ethan on one knee, a ring box in hand. Ethan had a big smile. Trisha teared up. She was in a swirl of emotions as she covered her mouth in shock and excitement.

“So, what do you say baby? Would you make me the luckiest guy?” Ethan asked her

Trisha wiped away her tears. “You stupid kid,” she murmured, “I think you know our answer.”

He stood up, as she held out her hand. He slid the ring onto her ring finger and it fit Trtisha’s ring finger perfectly. The two went in for a passionate kiss. Ethan held her baby bump gently. Feeling their babies kicking and moving around in there. Breaking the romantic moment only slightly.

“As much as you like me like this I’ll be glad when they’re not kicking my bladder every day.”

Ethan went down and kissed her bump. Tracing his hand. Whispering “Listen ladies, I know you don’t know this yet. But mommy’s in charge. Most of the time.” Ethan planted a kiss on her stomach, “Isn’t that right Boss Mama?”

Trisha rolled her eyes, “Not right now” she said curling her index finger to him in a gesture to come close as she tried to scoot further onto the bed. Ethan came over undoing his clothes, going in for one more exploration of Trishas thick M.I.L.F. body.

[oracleofsecrets]

Zelda EOW cosplay log: circlet

After giving up on the staff, which was already another means for me to take a break from sewing, I got started drafting the circlet

I had some Eva foam from another cosplay ish project that didn’t go very well due to inexperience, so that seemed the most logical choice. I forgot how annoying it is cutting Eva foam though… the “headband” part was easy since I could use my rotary cutter, except the length I needed was longer than my ruler, so there’s a wobbly bit from where I had to scoot my ruler. Didn’t feel like cutting out another piece, so it’ll have to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Studied some screenshots and Sketched out the gem and metalwork bits on paper to get an idea of relative sizing between all the pieces. That damn pvc conduit ended up coming in handy here—I pressed down onto the foam and traced the indent for the gem. Cutting the crescents was realllly fiddly bc I was using scissors. But idk if I could’ve gotten those curves otherwise with an xacto knife

Only on the smaller bits did I think to transfer my sketch onto the foam instead of eyeballing it. My “transfer” method was poking pins along the outline into the foam, kinda like for pumpkin carving. Nice and clear and easy to follow with the scissors without having to worry about painting over anything

I thought I read somewhere that Eva foam can be sandpapered ? So I tried doing that to fix the uneven edges. Idr what grit level sandpaper I used. I mostly used a nail file board actually lol

Somehow I lost my circle gem piece, so I had to cut another one out and sand that :/ I don’t have proper primer so i figured I’d just spray a little modpodge on it to give me a workable surface to paint on. It didn’t occur to me that the pieces were so small that they’d fly off bc of the aerosol blast, so I had to find those in the dark ground bc I keep forgetting to tell the landlady that the outdoor lightbulb is out

I ended up mostly kinda mopping up the modpodge that was left on the parchment paper to get it nice and covered. Then I remembered I should grab a scrap to prime for when I test out paints. Was smart enough to hold the foam with a clothespin so no more glue would get on my hand. A day later It does kinda look like a nice subtle topcoat on my nails though :3 let it dry overnight so I could play some hades 2 and bc I didn’t want to fiddle with mixing paints at like 10pm

The next evening I tested out the paints. At the store I’d been between one metallic red shade and another, and I’d gotten the one that hadn’t seemed Too bright red. This was a mistake. It’s indeed a lovely garnet color, but that’s not quite light or red enough for this. Mixed with a little red looked pretty good. The gold metallic was perfect straight out of the bottle

Also tested whether to use black or white as a base coat. Going with white to keep things brighter

✨The next day ✨

Got my base coat of white on

(Using some weird Catholic local newspaper that some lady who lived here before me still has delivered to catch the mess lol)

First coat of gold. Probably should’ve made sure my sponge was fully dry before painting on the gold… I’m using makeup sponges since they’re denser than the sponge brushes I got for cheap a while ago. Repeating to myself Trust the Process Trust the Process so I don’t get neurotic about how sloppy it looks rn….

Okay yeah second coat is looking a lil better. Added a Little more red to the mix for the gem. I like how the shade looked overall, and especially layered over the other. I dont need another coat on the gem but def will for the gold stuff

Third coat, now we’re talkin. That’s good enough for the crescent pieces, but I think I’ll give the band another coat tomorrow. Testing my gloss sealant on the back of one of the smaller crescents after putting the first coat on the gem to see how that looks

Im planning on using satin modpodge finish though bc it’s an aerosol spray and bc I think that’d contrast nicely and subtly with the glossy. But the glossy is a normal spray bottle, and I wasn’t careful the first time I used it so it got clogged…I usually borrow the spray top from something else, but it’s not the same diameter as the bottleneck so I have to hold it weird :/ I should just buy a replacement nozzle fjsjdhd. But since the pieces are so small I’m just unscrewing the nozzle, taking it out and letting a few drops of sealer fall onto a plastic lid from something or another, then dabbing it on with a sponge

Now that I’m more like Live blogging and not posting about stuff I’ve already done I think I’ll end the post here lol

[mishamishaps]

PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU LOVE THEM-

Haven’t posted in a while! Lmk if you’d like to be moots!! (I follow back! 18+ only)

Getting closer and closer to finishing drawing my Zom-Ppy 💚BONES💚 (FT. my ponysona/giraffepony Doodlebug!)

Rendering is evil but I’m starting to get a hang of it finally :3 been sitting on this idea for years but my art style is finally at the place I’d like it to be to best execute my ideas. 💡

Glad I finally have it figured out because I haven’t finished any digital art in over a year due to physical and mental health struggles. Just been juggling so many appointments and symptoms but while I’m feeling better I figured, hey! Why don’t I finish up Bones so I actually have a finished PFP for a while… lol

Tomorrow I will have funds to order more string/cord to start my Kandi projects again! So if you’ve read this far expect Kandi posts in the near future :3 until now I’ve been using clear, non stretching string which has resulted in losing several finished projects :(( thankfully I could sit and bead for hours so I don’t really mind !

Ram lies over you’re a real one if you made it this far

[softsky-daily]

3/7/2024

The clouds were swirling right around the sun and it looked like heaven's eye was peering right down at me.

Positive thing: I got pizza with friends.

One of my classmate friends suffered a recent loss and wanted the company. It was actually nice - she didn't wanna focus on her so we all talked about our usual ridiculous things and laughed a lot, and at the end she said she felt better. I just remembered the heaviness afterwards when I got home. I had been rushing around all week basically, and between having internship stuff to figure out, two big projects due soon, needing to go to the apartment office to negotiate rent tomorrow, and other homework on top of my time commitments of work and school, it was just a lot to realize at once.

I'm working against the fact I don't even want to be doing all this anymore too. All night (and I'm only just now about to finish up) I was battling this old software we use for our client notes trying to move stuff the clinic staff told me. It's the most unintuitive thing in the world. I just kept having this thought that I'd rather be doing something else, not just with the software but with my life in general. I'm sure that was the frustration talking of course, but I've had thoughts like that before.

But I always make it through. What other choice is there? People tell me it's great I'm so resilient and reliable and despite everything I still try to do good. But it fails to feel noble or fulfilling at times like these. I also have the more objective understanding (AKA my counselor brain kicks in) that feeling this way means I need rest, I need to prioritize myself more, etc. etc. etc. But I hate that voice too. Maybe I just want to be a kid about it and break something.