#MY HEART THEM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[strawberri-bomb-bomb]

AAAA MY BABIESS 😭😭 IM SOBBINGGG ‼️‼️ I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART :'(

Home is where you are.

[wolvietxt]

I just read some of your Logan fics 🫠🤭🤤 absolutely in LOVE! i had to follow and request 😭 could you maybe do the age gap prompt with Logan “you’re more than enough for me.” ? You don’t have to but oh my god I am in love with ur work ❤️

YOU weren’t usually one to let comments get under your skin, but tonight was different. it started as a passing remark during the group’s card game, someone laughingly pointing out the age gap between you and logan.

“didn’t know logan liked ‘em fresh outta college,” they teased, nudging him with an elbow.

logan shot them a glare sharp enough to silence a room, but the damage was done. you forced a laugh, brushing it off like it was nothing, even though your stomach churned with unease.

as the night went on, the comment replayed in your mind, growing louder with each repetition. sure, you were younger, but it wasn’t like you didn’t know what you wanted. still, the words planted seeds of doubt - maybe they were right. maybe logan deserved someone more experienced, someone who matched his gruff confidence in a way you sometimes felt you couldn’t.

logan seemed to notice your shift, his sharp eyes narrowing when you grew quieter, your laughter a little more forced. eventually, he leaned close, his voice low. “hey. you good?”

“yeah, just tired,” you said quickly, plastering on a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

he didn’t buy it. you could tell by the way his jaw tightened and the way he didn’t take his eyes off you for the rest of the night. finally, when there was a lull in conversation, he stood and nodded toward the hallway. “c’mon. need a word.”

you followed him, your heart racing as he led you to the quiet of the hallway. he stopped and turned to face you, his hands on his hips, his gaze piercing.

“what’s goin’ on?” he asked, his tone softer now, his brows drawing together in concern.

“nothing,” you lied, crossing your arms defensively. “i told you, i’m just tired.”

logan let out a soft huff, stepping closer until he was in your space. “don’t pull that with me,” he murmured, his hands coming up to cup your face gently. “you’ve been off ever since that crack about your age. talk to me.”

his touch was grounding, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks. you sighed, your shoulders slumping. “it’s stupid,” you muttered. “it just… it made me feel like maybe you could do better. like maybe they’re right and i’m too young, or - or not enough for you.”

logan’s expression darkened - not in anger, but in something deeper, more protective. his thumbs stilled against your skin, his grip firm but tender as he leaned in, his voice dropping to a low rumble. “don’t you ever think that,” he said, his tone heavy with conviction. “you’re more than enough for me, darlin’. never doubt that.”

your breath hitched at the intensity in his gaze, his words wrapping around the insecurities gnawing at you and crushing them under their weight. “logan…” you started, but he cut you off, his forehead resting against yours.

“listen to me,” he whispered, his breath warm against your lips. “i don’t give a damn what anyone says. you’re all i want, and i’d go through hell and back to make sure you know that.”

a lump formed in your throat, your heart swelling as his words sunk in. you reached up, your hands covering his where they cradled your face. “thank you,” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

logan’s lips quirked into a faint smile, his fingers tilting your chin up as he kissed you. it was slow and deliberate, a kiss that spoke of reassurance and devotion, his lips moving against yours with a gentleness that made your chest ache.

when he pulled back, he kept you close, his hands still framing your face. “next time someone runs their mouth, let me deal with ‘em,” he said, his voice lightening with a touch of his usual gruff humor. “they’ll think twice after that.”

you laughed softly, the knot of doubt inside you unraveling completely. “i’ll hold you to that.”

“damn right, you will,” he said, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before tugging you into his arms.

ᰔ logan howlett : @notacleangirl, @v3lv3tf0x, @dugiioh, @whxtewolf, @rooroen

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taglist form linked in pinned post :3

[yelenasdiary]

soft fluffy nat where the two of you are in love with each other but haven’t confessed. nat is superrrr into the holidays like it surprises everyone but she’s proud of it. she knows you haven’t had the best christmas previous years and she’s determined to make this the best one for you. she loves everything like baking (nat cannot cook that is canon but i honestly think she could bake lowkey😭) putting up the christmas tree in the compound and decorating it. she’s just super soft around christmas and you just fall even more in love with her. you share sweet moments together throughout the days leading up to christmas and eventually the two of you confess and ugh i love soft nat i miss her

Waiting Under The Mistletoe

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Summary: You and Natasha have been struggling to admit your feelings for one another.

Fluff, Tiny Angst

Warnings: None, if there is any, please let me know! | 1.2K

AC: Happy Christmas Eve!!! Thank you for sending this! I hope you enjoy! x

Holiday Special Masterlist

It was that time of year again, Christmas. The time of year where you felt more of a burden than a blessing, but this year felt different already. The compound had turned from its usual dark grey vibe to bursts of festive spirit and colors. As you walked the hall towards the large meeting room, your eyes took in how perfectly the decorations were hung, compliments to Wanda, so you thought.

“Hey!” Natasha called out, making you stop in your tracks as you turned to face her. She smiled softly at you, “on your way to the meeting?” She asked. 

“Hopefully the last one for the year!” You chuckled as the two of you slowly began to continue the walk to the others. “What do you say we put the Christmas tree up afterwards?” Black Widow asked, making you cock a brow at her. 

“You want to put the tree up?” You asked, intrigued. 

“Of course, I mean, I already decorated half the compound over night” she replied proudly. 

“Wait, you did all this?” You stopped in your tracks once more, surprised by Natasha’s hidden love for the Christmas season. Natasha chuckled, “who do you think did all this?” 

“Wanda” you replied without a second thought. 

“Wanda is Jewish” the red head reminded you. 

“Yeah but she’s always making sure we’re together for Christmas dinner so I just assumed. You love Christmas? That’s kinda cute” you smiled softly. Natasha’s eyes dropped nervously as her iconic smirk tugged at her lips, “so I’ll take that as a yes?” She said, looking back up at you. 

“Alright, but I’m warning you, my tree decorating skills are horrible” you replied.

“I’ll take my chances” Nat playfully winked as the two of you entered the conference room.

It was hard to focus on anything Fury was saying during the meeting with your mind so focused on Natasha and the way her eyes were glued to the piece of paper in front of her, she was always good at putting life aside for work. Outside this room, she was a softy with a love for Christmas but inside the room she was Black Widow, listening to every single word that was said in the meeting with clear understanding. 

Once Fury added his last words, the room was dismissed. Nat looked over at you and smiled softly, “ready to put those horrible tree decorating skills to the test?” She teased making you chuckle lightly. 

“Are you ready for them?” You asked. 

“Like I said, I’ll take my chances, lets go!” 

----

Your heart swelled at Natasha’s enthusiasm; it was infectious as you watched her wrap the LED fairy lights around the fake tree while she hummed her favorite Christmas classic softly to herself. With the others hovering around, picking at the baked goodies Nat had baked last night while watching the tough Black Widow decorate a Christmas tree, you couldn’t help but fall deeper for her.

The room echoed with chatter from those around you, but all you could focus on was Natasha. She caught your eye and for a moment, the noise faded. “Now that the lights are on, help yourself to that box of ornaments and get decorating!” She smiled softly. Her soft tone snapping you back to reality as you gave her a playful grin. 

“I hope you’re ready for this Romanoff!” You teased, reaching for some of the ornaments in the box beside you. She shot back a smile, “are you sure you know where they go?” She asked in a teasing tone. 

“Ha, ha!” You replied sarcastically as you closed the small gap between you and the tree. Natasha stood back for a brief moment to watch you place the first ornament on the tree, she admired the way you took a second to think about where you wanted each ornament to be placed, hanging them on different branches before giving yourself a nod of approval. 

The two of you spent the afternoon hanging ornaments on the large tree and wrapping it in shimmering tinsel that sparkled softly against the fairy lights. Nat still softly hummed her favorite Christmas tunes, and you weren’t sure how long it was until they caught you in their trap. The two of you humming softly while twirling around each other. 

The days leading up to Christmas slipped by in a blur of laughter and sweet moments, each day your feelings growing stronger for the avenger, as if they could get any stronger. From Natasha sweet talking you into baking with her to helping her wrap presents for the others. Every moment felt more magical than the last. 

On Christmas Eve, you found yourself wrapped in a blanket on the sofa, watching holiday movies with the room dimly lit and the tree twinkling softly in the corner. Natasha looked at you for a moment and for that moment, time stood still. 

“Everything okay?” You asked, your cheeks feeling warm. 

“Yeah” she smiled softly, “everything is perfect” she added.

----

Christmas morning, you woke up to the sound of laughter echoing through the compound. You couldn’t believe you had slightly slept in, you rushed down the stairs where you found Natasha already locking eyes with you. She smiled softly, “good morning sleepy head” she greeted. 

“You didn’t wake me?” You questioned, almost forgetting there were others in the room. 

“Come here” she replied softly, her eyes sparkling from the tree beside her. 

You stepped closer, your heart racing as you realized what was hanging above the redhead. Your cheeks flushed under her glaze as you closed the gap between you two. “I’ve been waiting for this” she said, her voice soft like marshmallows. “I want to tell you something” she paused, her expression shifting ever so slightly. 

“These last few weeks have made me the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time and it’s because I got to spend every moment with you” she started, smiling softly. “You make me so happy, I love everything we have shared since we met. I’ve been too afraid to say anything to you because I’d hate myself if I ruined what we already have but, I’m so deeply in love with you that not telling you was driving me crazy. Last night, I wanted to kiss you and tell you but I didn’t want to ruin the moment” she added. 

The room fell silent, time standing still as you processed her words. You pinched yourself wondering if you were still asleep, dreaming of a different life but the pain was very much real and the woman you adored was standing in front of you, under a mistletoe, telling you how she felt. 

“I love you too” you finally said, your voice slightly breaking with emotions, “I’ve wanted to say that for so long” you added. 

A smile broke on Nat’s face, her hands gently placed on your hips as she pulled you closer. “Merry Christmas” she whispered before her lips pressed against yours, making sure you knew that she meant every single word. Kissing you deeply, the two of you not caring that half the compound just watched everything unfold. 

“Best Christmas ever” you whispered against her lips, her arms wrapped around you. She smiled softly, “agreed”.

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[robo-writing]

hello! i usually just read your fabulous writing but i’ve had this stuck in my head for a while and i really like how you write logan. and i’m also not sure if anyone has asked this before 😭

i really love a pathetically in-love logan... the only thing that can get through the adamantium wall of a man is his sweet wife. him coming home from work straight to bury his face in his wife’s chest and neck to sniff her our as she tells him about her day. him also being like this in their intimate life 🫠 augh im sorry this is eating away at my brain.

I’m a wife guy Logan truther, the entire beginning of origins is just MWAH. (Headcanons below)

First thing he does when he gets home is take his shoes off. The second thing he does when he gets home is search for you.

It’s a good day when he gets to kiss you after work (which is every day), it’s a great day when you offer to take care of him too.

He’ll burn in hell before admitting to anyone he likes wearing your fuzzy spa-care headband, and he’ll burn a second time before big bad Logan admits his favorite smell is whatever the fuck’s in your moisturizer.

Hell, he didn’t even know what moisturizer was before he met you.

Even better is when you gossip with him as you’re shaving him

God, he REALLY enjoys when you shave him

It’s an excuse to sit you on his lap because “How else are you gonna get a good look sweetheart? Need you nice and close, gotta be accurate.”

Sometimes he’ll flinch and pretend you cut him, only to pull away with a shit-eating grin

That usually gets him a slap to the chest, but hey, it’s a LITTLE funny.

You also like to gossip with him—jobs, friends, whatever’s been happening with you—all while massaging his face with whatever funky concoction you’ve got in your hands (Toner baby, it’s toner)

“So, Jane got that promotion she was asking for,” you grin, and he knows whatever you’re about to say next is gonna be juicy.

“And she got it because she caught the boss cheating on his wife.”

It’s almost comical how wide his eyes get. “You serious?”

“As serious as a heart attack.”

“Fuck,” he chuckles, making sure to keep you comfortable while he sits back. “Tell me more.”

It’s not all one-sided, sometimes he comes home and just has this inexplicable need to be next to you.

If you’re cooking, he’s standing behind you, grabbing ingredients and handing them off with a smile.

If you’re watching tv, he pulls you up and into his arms, making sure he can bury his face against your neck.

If you’re in bed asleep, he quietly slips his clothes off and gets under the sheets with you.

(18+) Even when he’s in more of a frisky mood he can’t seem to get enough of you, letting his hands roam across your torso, fingers bleeding lust as they grab at your soft skin

He likes to whisper all the things he thought about while he was gone—your sounds, your touch, your taste

And he’ll recite it all while his fingers play with the waistband of your panties

“Missed you sweetheart, missed you so much,” he mumbles, before letting the pads of his fingers slip beneath the fabric and play with the wetness that gathers on them. “Can tell you missed me too.”

[sunshine7queen]

@yuujispinkhair @windlullaby @samaraxmorgan

Sukuna x f!Reader

In which Sukuna brings home child Uraume — 2

<— previous

It was your scream piercing through the forest that had Sukuna dropping everything and speeding up his steps.

He was coming back from a hunt while you and Uraume were walking through the woods, foraging for ingredients.

It's been a few weeks since Uraume joined you both and since then, you had showered them with nothing but love and affection. Like the child you always wanted.

Sukuna, on the other hand, was teaching the kid how to properly control their technique. It wasn't something he would ever do for anyone but he has grown to... have a soft spot for Uraume.

But when he dashed through the woods and arrived at the scene, Sukuna would never admit the way his heart sank at what he saw.

Ice.

Ice everywhere.

With you slumped against a tree, shaking uncontrollably while Uraume was next to you in tears, screaming and crying as they apologised profusely. Half of your body was covered in ice.

"No! No! My lady, please! I—I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this! It was an accident—!" The child wailed. Memories of the frozen corpses of their parents rushing through their head.

It was just like that time.

"What have you done?" Sukuna's angered voice had Uraume backing away in fear as he got closer.

Your husband was by you in an instant, taking you in his arms. His eyes raked over your body to assess the damage. He quickly used his RCT to heal you. His heart was in his throat and he didn't stop until color returned to your face and your breathing was even.

You were going to be okay.

You were going to be okay but Sukuna was not going to let this go so easily. You... His everything... was harmed. Had almost brushed against the brink of death.

But when he looked up at Uraume with a rage of a furious storm, he paused.

The child was bowing deeply against the forest ground, body uncontrollably shaking from sobs and their little fists digging into the dirt as they repeated the same thing over again.

"I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean—I-I didn't mean to hurt her—!"

And those words stirred something inside Sukuna. A memory. A memory he had buried deep into his mind and vowed to never look back upon ever again.

Of a small, deformed child who had just discovered his dangerous technique.

"How could you do this?!"

"Please, I'm sorry!"

"Do you think sorry will fix this?! Will fix the damage you caused?!"

"I didn't mean to! Mother, I swear—"

"Stay away from me, you wretched thing!"

"Monster!"

"Four eyed demon!"

"He'll bring a curse upon our village!"

"Kill that deformed thing! Kill it—"

"Enough. Stand up and let's go."

"B-But my lady is—"

"She's fine."

The walk back to home was quiet. Uraume had expected their punishment the moment they stepped into the house. But after Sukuna had gently laid you on the futon, the punishment never came.

Instead, the King of Curses placed his large hand on top of the child's head and scowled disapprovingly.

"Brat, did you not get what I taught you? Focus on a single damn point and breathe. That way you'll be able to control your technique. Now—"

Sukuna lead Uraume outside again and stopped a few feet away from a deer and a fawn.

"Kill the fawn and only the fawn." The man ordered.

Uraume was in disbelief. They had fully expected a punishment for what they did but when they looked at Sukuna, there was no malice in his eyes. Instead, impatience clouded those bloodied rubies as he tapped his large foot on the ground, waiting for the moment the child would do something.

With an impossibly warmed heart Uraume turned to the fawn with a smile and followed the malevolent king's instruction.

--

You awoke a few hours later, eyes blinking up at the ceiling as memories of what happened slowly came back. Your heart sank and you tried to get up.

You had to find Uraume. The poor child!

But then you felt small cold arms secured tightly around you. Uraume was curled next you as they slept.

You calmed down and smiled tenderly, running your fingers across their snowy locks.

"They refuse to leave your side."

You looked over to see your husband leaning against the door frame. Your smile widened and you reached out to him.

Sukuna didn't hesitate, pushing himself off and walking over to you. He sat down next to you on the floor and took your delicate hand in his large one.

"I'm surprised they're even at my side."

Sukuna grunted. "They can control their technique now. So expect the brat to be glued to you more often."

You laughed softly. "Oh? And does that have something to do with you, my lovely husband?"

Of course it did because he simply refused to look at you and gave you a mere shrug. He was embarrassed. You could tell.

"My lady...?"

You turned your focus to a sleepy Uraume, gazing at you with an apologetic look.

"My lady, I'm sorry..."

You shushed them, stroking their hair affectionately. "Hush now, little one. It wasn't your fault. Sleep, okay? I'm here..."

Sukuna looked on at you and Uraume quietly. You, his beautiful wife, whispering soothing words to the child who, moments ago, was nothing but terrified of who they were.

And then he thought back to the little deformed boy with four eyes and arms running away with a tear streaked face from a mother who begged the villagers to kill him.

He knew that boy was at peace now.

<— previous

[notherpuppet]

Hello! I recently found your blog and I LOVE your "My Deer Nanny" verse. I love all your drawings actually they are all so good! But I particularly love how you draw them as humans and I was wondering if it was alright to draw fanart of your verse? With the proper credit to both you and Vivziepop of course.

YES OF COURSE 😭💖💞💓

I can’t believe fellow fans even do this and it makes my heart swell every time. I have a folder on my desktop that’s just filled with My Deer Nanny “fanart” how weird it is to even use that word!?

I want to make a hazbin scrapbook for myself to commemorate the magical times I’m having with this fandom~ 📒💘

[jawad111]

Jawed , a Voice Reflecting the Struggles of an Entire Generation😭😭

I am Jouad, 60 years old, living under harsh conditions imposed by the war. Though I have carried many hopes and dreams within me, a weak heart suffering from illnesses has made my life a challenging journey of survival.

I suffer from heart diseases and need medication regularly to maintain my health. But due to the war, life has become much harder. The war has prevented me from getting the medication I need. And when I am able to find it, its high price makes it almost impossible for me to afford. Every day, I face a new challenge, not only on the health front but also in securing medication to ensure a normal life.

I have 7 children whom I care for, and they are my source of strength. Despite my struggles, I hold onto them with all I have. I wish I could provide them with everything they need, but the harsh circumstances make that more difficult.

I hope that my story reaches the ears of those who care about providing medication to heart patients in times of crisis, because I am not the only one suffering. Many others face the same situation and dream of having the strength to keep going.

If you are able to help, whether by sharing this post or by donating to help me access treatment, it would mean a lot to me. Every share and every donation is a new hope for me and others who suffer in silence.

Share with us the hope of life; every small action can make a big difference.

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@legallybrunettedotcom@brucespringsteendotcom

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@mordhiobhail @bOnkcreat @lemon-wedges @holedyke @jerseyclown

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@0047 silver

[marvel-snape-writes]

hey i’m absolutely loving the snape oneshots, haven’t read him in a while and im in love again 🤭 anyhow would i be able to request a fluffy smut perhaps there’s been a couple of dates and this is their first time just like wine and lounging around and 😏

😭 thanks x

Was That a Smile, Severus?

Severus Snape x original female character smut

6.7k+ words 18+

The Great Hall was packed with students and teachers all gathered together for the Christmas feast, and the chatter within the room from both was beginning to merge together in one big mist of volume. Professor Snape exhaled slowly as he pushed around the food that was left on his plate, unsure of how much longer he could take the small talk or noise. It wasn't a secret that Severus wasn't exactly the most festive person in the world.

He heard the scraping of the legs from the chair at the side of him but paid it no mind, his eyes still lazily watching himself pushing his food about his plate.

“I don't know about you, but I'm really not fond of attending the party tonight.” A new, familiar voice spoke beside him.

“It would appear you are not alone in that.” Severus spoke without even turning to face her, almost frozen in his seat as his heartbeat sped up briefly.

“Not a massive fan of Christmas parties?” She asked, leaning a little closer to him.

“Not in the slightest.” Severus spoke emotionlessly, leaning back in his chair as his eyes remained fixed on the countless tables of students in front of them.

“Me neither, really.” The female professor shook her head, “If only the venue could be one of the pubs in Hogsmeade; we could just hide around the corner again and have the night to ourselves.”

“That sounds much more appealing.” Severus exhaled slowly, finally glancing over at her as his heart fluttered momentarily from the memory.

She crinkled her nose and brushed her hand over the back of his as she stood up, leaving him in his own thoughts as he watched her walking away. He didn't take his eyes off her until she was out of view, almost convinced that she had only paid him a brief visit to ensure that he would be thinking about her for the rest of the night.

The Christmas ball was more of a Christmas bore to Severus; never having or — previously — wanting to have a partner to dance with. He toyed with the idea of asking her to dance with him, given the success of their first two meetings and that last kiss… Oh, that kiss…

He stood to the side with Professor McGonagal and Professor Dumbledore, politely holding a hand up and shaking his head when they gestured for him to join them upon the dance floor. He never wanted to dance, but she caught his eye from the other side of the room. He had held her hand, sure, even hugged her, but that didn't stop him wondering how it would feel to hold her. Really hold her. Regardless of whether they were alone or in front of the whole school. People were dancing, singing, and chatting around him, but he paid none of it any mind; only she mattered. He scowled briefly when he saw another male Professor approach her and motion toward the dance floor, but his scowl quickly turned into a schoolboy smile when he watched her dismiss his offer. His entire body filled with warmth and he exhaled softly, his eyes not coming off her for even a moment.

“Was that a smile, Severus?” Professor Dumbledore’s voice spoke from the side of him.

Severus was shook out of his trance briefly and he blinked hard, turning to face Dumbledore with squinted eyes as a result of being caught off guard whilst admiring her from across the room.

“Was it?” There was a hint of playfulness in Dumbledore’s voice, “I think it was.”

“If it was, would it matter if I absent myself from… here?” Severus asked lowly, raising his eyebrows in hope.

“You do not need my permission to go as you please, Severus,” Dumbledore narrowed his eyebrows, “It’s Christmas.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Severus nodded politely, a smile forming on his lips from the kindness of Dumbledore’s before turning away.

His eyes found her immediately and he began to make his way across the room, avoiding the dancing people around him and walking toward her. The look on her face as he approached her filled his chest with warmth and he smiled nervously, taking a subtle breath.

“Bored yet?” She asked, raising her eyebrows playfully.

“Tremendously,” Severus sighed dramatically, looking either side of him before speaking again, “I was wondering, Miss Eleanor, if you would care to take a walk with me… outside in the grounds. Be my saving grace.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Eleanor crinkled her nose, smiling.

Severus pondered saying how grateful he was for now having the most beautiful excuse to escape how uncomfortable those events made him, but nerves were beginning to climb him again as he walked them both to the door. They glanced at each other several times once they were through the crowd of people and Severus found the smile on his face becoming more of a permanent fixture.

“Thank you for giving me an excuse to get out of there.” Eleanor half laughed.

“Not at all,” Severus cleared his throat, holding the door open for her to lead them both outside, “I was going to say the same to you, actually.”

“Where shall we go?” She looked up at him.

“Anywhere,” Severus shrugged, then suddenly backtracking, “Within reason, of course.”

“Meaning?” Eleanor squinted her eyes, still looking at him as they walked into the cold.

“Away from… prying eyes.” Severus looked around subtly but cautiously.

“Oh, Severus…” Eleanor rolled her eyes playfully and hooked her arm around his as they walked.

“H—Hm?” Severus raised his eyebrows, forcing his body to unstiffen and act natural once their arms were linked.

She shook her head and giggled to herself, squeezing his arm.

They didn't have a specific route or destination in mind, they just went wherever their feet took them. Moreover, it wasn't that Severus wasn't interested in what she had to say, or in making conversation himself, but more that he couldn't stop thinking about the last time they saw each other and the kiss they shared. He could have sworn he felt the ice around his heart melt the moment their lips touched. He longed for more, that in itself even shocking himself, but he daren't push his luck — not when she was becoming something he didn't want to mess up.

Eleanor’s hands gently massaged his bicep as they continued to walk, half in comfortable silence, half in small talk conversation; the one thing Severus was terribly bad at.

“You looked very pretty tonight.” Severus dared himself to say, often only remembering when it was too late that he quite often lacked in paying complements.

“Looked?” Eleanor gazed up at him, trying not to laugh.

“…yes?” Severus felt his breathing change in fear of having said something wrong, “Is that such a bad thing to say?”

“Well, what do I look like now?” Eleanor raised her eyebrows, now biting her lip as she fought off a laugh from his innocently confused expression.

“I’m sorry?” Severus tilted his head.

“Well, you said I looked very pretty tonight…” She gave his arm another gentle squeeze.

“Yes?” Severus nodded slowly, “You did.”

“Did?” She pursed her lips.

“Oh,” Severus’ eyes widened, “My apologies,” He felt his cheeks turn bright red, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” She crinkled her nose at his embarrassed face as she looked up at him, “Don't apologise, it was funny.”

“It wasn't meant to be funny, it was meant to be—” Severus protested softly before Eleanor cut him off:

“Severus.” She stopped them as they reached one of the stone archways.

“Yes—”

She leaned up to kiss him, and there it was again; that feeling inside when her lips touched his. His hands instinctively cupped her face and he tilted his head, taking a shaky breath against her lips. He felt her smile against him and place her hands against his chest, nudging her nose against his.

“Mm, hi.” She whispered against his lips, pausing briefly.

“Hi.” Severus let out a bashful schoolboy chuckle against her lips as he felt her take his hands and place them upon her hips, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

“This is already better than half the dancing in there.” She giggled, her hands now back against his chest again.

“Only half?” Severus arched a brow with a playful smile.

“Well, I didn't see you offering.” She winked, pushing him gently.

“Nor will you ever.” Severus chuckled, leaning down to peck her lips again.

“Oh, charming.” She responded with a teasingly offended expression.

“Wait, no, I didn't mea—”

“Shut up and kiss me, you fool,” Eleanor laughed, sliding her hands up to his shoulders as she leaned up on her tiptoes to press their lips back together.

Severus let out a shaky breath against her lips and advanced forward slightly, pushing her back against the stone archway. Eleanor squeezed his shoulders gently and then moved her hands up into his hair, playing with it as the kiss deepened. As stated previously, they had shared a kiss before, but not one like this. Even in its innocent, barely wandering hands state, this kiss was already more than the couple they had shared as they last bid each other goodnight.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Confidence suddenly swelled in him.

“But, Severus,” She spoke in between kissing him again, “What if people see us both disappearing together?”

“I take full responsibility for the consequences.” Severus responded, grinning when he felt her gasp against his lips.

“Well, in that case, how could a girl refuse?” Eleanor crinkled her nose as the kiss broke, gazing up into his eyes.

Severus glanced over his shoulder to make sure the grounds were still clear before turning back to Eleanor and gesturing for her to walk with him again. Although Severus chose the most secluded route back to his chamber, he secretly longed for the day he would proudly walk through the crowds of Hogwarts arm in arm with her, showing her off for all to see.

“Take a seat,” Severus gestured to the sofa in the middle of the room and flicked his wand toward the open fire in front of it, setting the logs alight, “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Eleanor crinkled her nose, sitting down and enjoying the warmth from the fire.

Severus’ heart was beating subtly but hard; he had never been with her in such a one-on-one setting. He was already worried about fumbling over his words, or getting ahead of himself — though, he would be the first to admit that it would be much more likely that he would completely miss any of her signals initiating anything more than a kiss.

The truth was that he had gone over this moment several times in his head, even down to the wine he was currently pouring into two glasses upon the counter.

“I really appreciated the way you turned the other Professor down when he asked you to dance…” He carefully carried the glasses over to the sofa, placing them both on the table in front of it.

“Oh, really?” Eleanor smiled softly, watching him, “Did I make it too obvious that my only interest and intentions lay with you?” She giggled.

“N-Not at all,” Severus shook his head, handing her, her glass, “It was just nice for you to… accompany me for a walk.”

“A walk in the grounds and wine?” Eleanor gazed up at him with a playful expression, “Who knew Severus Snape had it in him…”

“Do not take it for granted.” Severus attempted to flirt back, joining her on the sofa.

“To tell you the truth, Severus, I don’t take any of the time with you for granted.” She smiled softly, sipping at her glass of wine.

“R-Really?” Severus felt himself blushing, lifting his wine glass to his lips to try and cover it up.

“I think you know I do.” She spoke softly, placing one of her hands upon his knee.

“Well, I… enjoy spending time… with you, too.” Severus felt both like he wanted the ground to swallow him up from confessing this and relieved at the same time.

Eleanor didn't respond verbally straight away, just gently rubbed his knee with her hand. Severus exhaled as he swallowed the mouthful of wine and rested the glass against his thigh, looking toward the flickering fire as he tried not to focus too much on the feeling of her hand against him.

“Everything alright?” Eleanor asked as Severus lifted the glass back to his lips again.

“Yes, yes, sorry, I…” He swallowed hard, “I don't think I have ever admitted that before. Well, not to the extent of how I mean it… towards you.”

“Hey, look at me,” Eleanor reached out with one of her hands and cupped his cheek in it, turning his head toward her, “I know.”

“It's not very hard to see that Christmas isn’t a time you’re used to celebrating.” She gently caressed her thumb against his cheek.

“No,” Severus sighed, shaking his head, “I’ve never really had a reason to.”

“Not yet.” She grinned, gently clinking her wine glass against his.

Severus’ gaze fell to their glasses and then to her lips, finding himself smiling again.

“For people to say you dress like an overgrown bat, you certainly have a very cozy chamber.” She changed the conversation, not wanting him to become uncomfortable.

“People say that?” Severus asked in a tone that she had never heard before.

“Well, I just remind them that it's what's underneath the clothes that really matters.” She shrugged, smiling sweetly in fear of her previous complement of his chamber backfiring.

“Hm?” Severus leaned back into the sofa, “Well, if that’s the case, the mind boggles at what's under yours.”

“Professor Snape!” She scoffed playfully, “Is this you trying to flirt?” She moved slightly closer to him and spoke in a tone as if afraid they would be overheard, “Because, keep plying me with wine, and you might just find out.”

“O-Oh, no, please don't think that is what I meant o-or—” He swallowed hard, widening his eyes, “Or the reason for the wine, I just…”

“You know, you’re making me wonder whether I enjoy kissing you because I want to,” She placed her wine glass down, “Or whether to just shut you up.”

“Either suits me,” Severus spoke lowly, their eyes meeting as their heads turned to face one another properly.

Within a matter of seconds their lips pressed against each other again and Severus’ body froze from the pure want of it. He kissed her back immediately and tilted his head, allowing her to reach for his hand and place it against her waist as the kiss deepened even further than the one against the stone arch. Severus’ inexperienced hand lightly caressed her waist from over her dress and he sighed softly into the kiss, parting his lips as her tongue teased between them. He wasn't entirely sure what move to make next; what was too much, what was too subtle, what was… right.

“How about we see if what’s underneath really does matter, hm?” Eleanor spoke softly against his lips, playing with one of the buttons on his clothing, “Would that be okay?”

Severus nodded, unsure of his own name at this point. Eleanor began to unbutton his clothing and he dared to lightly pull at her dress with his trembling fingers. To be wanted like this was so foreign to him, he didn't want to put a single foot wrong. In fact, to be wanted at all was not something he had often experienced in his life.

He gently bit down on her lip and pulled it out a bit, enjoying the noise she made whilst doing so. His buttons popped open with ease and, despite how self conscious he usually was, he willingly sat up so she could push his overcoat and shirt off him, breaking the kiss briefly to glance down at his now bare chest.

“It's okay,” She spoke softly when she felt him lightly grasp at the material of her dress again, “My clothing comes off, too.”

“Can I… see?” Severus swallowed hard, half expecting a slap across the face.

Eleanor nodded and stood up, reaching out for him with both of her hands. Severus took them and stood up, watching closely as she guided one of his hands to the zip on the back of her dress and turned around. Severus grasped the small metal zip between his finger and thumb and took a deep breath before starting to unzip the back of her dress. His eyes widened with each bit of skin that was revealing itself to him and silently thanked her for not facing him so she couldn't see quite how red his face was becoming.

“Easy, right?” She giggled once the zip was at the bottom.

“R-Right…” Severus nodded shakily, only able to watch in awe as it fell off her shoulders and pooled to the floor as she turned back around to face him whilst unclasping her bra.

He blinked hard, mesmerised by the image in front of him and felt his confidence swell again, leaning forward to desperately press their lips together. Eleanor’s arms snaked around his neck and she leaned up on her tiptoes, kissing him back immediately and pressing her breasts against his chest; resulting in something other than his confidence beginning to swell.

“Mm, Professor…” She grinned when he nudged himself forward slightly, “I do hope that is your wand.”

Severus made a soft noise against her lips when she brushed her body forward, lightly scratching the nape of his neck with her fingers. Their tongues tangled and Severus ran his inexperienced fingertips back and forth over her bare skin. One of Eleanor’s hands trailed down Severus’ bare chest and stomach, making Severus shiver from the feeling of it. Whilst his hands lightly massaged her skin, Eleanor’s made quick work of the button on his trousers; popping it open and pulling down the zip. As his trousers hit the floor, she lightly nudged her palm against the bulge in the front of his boxers, earning a soft moan from him.

“C—Careful…” Severus swallowed hard, taking a shaky breath against her lips, “I…”

“Even bigger than I expected,” Eleanor licked his bottom lip, lightly grasping his erection from over his underwear as the kiss deepened.

“Fuck…” Severus spoke practically inaudibly and felt himself going dizzy, urging for her to rid him of his underwear completely.

She dipped her hand inside his boxers and wrapped it around him, gently jerking her fist up and down as he continued to groan against her lips, his hands now on her underwear and lightly flexing the waistband of it as she continued to taunt him. To be touched like this was something he didn't even dream about, he was that convinced it would never happen to him. His jaw clenched and wanted to sit back and enjoy the feeling, but he also wanted to stress his urgency of long pent up release.

“Oh, you want them off, too?” She smirked when she felt him pull the waistband of her underwear away from her skin completely.

“Mmmh, yes,” Severus breathed heavily, feeling his length pulsate both from the feeling of her fist still stroking him and the question she had just asked.

“What the Professor wants, the Professor gets,” She pulled back from the kiss slowly, glancing down between them both and then back up at him, “If you do the same.”

Severus nodded, barely even able to believe that he was about to do this. Never had he ever allowed himself to be this vulnerable in front of someone.

Soon enough, both pairs of underwear were on the floor, and they both stood there in the nude. For the first time - first time in his life, from memory - he was unashamedly stood completely vulnerable in the nude. He didn't even like seeing himself naked, let alone someone else seeing him. Something about her made him feel shamelessly confident.

“Your wand or not, it certainly looks like it’s capable of creating its own form of magic.” She licked her lips, gazing upon his hardened cock standing proudly to attention.

They hadn't even done anything and Severus’ chest was already heaving up and down. His eyes couldn't quite believe what he could see in front of him. He was in a trance so much that anything she said was just a murmur. Eleanor placed her hands upon his shoulders and gently pushed him back down onto the sofa, licking her lips as her eyes feasted on his large length now casting an impressive shadow over his lower stomach. Severus’ eyes trailed all the way up her naked body until their eyes met and he swallowed hard, watching as she began to climb over him.

“Mm, hi again,” She nudged her lips against his, taking his hands and placing them against her waist.

“H-Hi…” Severus whimpered when he felt her reach down to carefully position his length.

Their lips smacked together as the two of them slotted together like a surprisingly easy jigsaw. Eleanor, able to feel the roaring fire behind her, stayed still for a few moments, allowing herself to adjust to the impressive length now situated inside her.

“Everything okay?” She whispered softly, pecking his lips as she raised her hips slightly.

“Quite perfect,” Severus nodded, gazing up at her with heavy eyes.

“Remember where your hands are,” She lightly patted them as they remained over her hips, “You’re in control,” She kissed him again, “I’m all yours.”

Severus nodded weakly and remained with his hands against her hips as she began to move over him, her own hands now back against his shoulders as he kissed her hungrily. He whimpered softly at the feeing of her gliding back and forth over him with ease and began to moan each time she sat over him fully.

Severus could not put into words how he felt in this exact moment. He had enjoyed the times they had shared together, sure, or the dates as she called them, but he never in a million years expected for them to end up like this. Despite not being involved with anyone sexually, he wasn’t completely blind to what turned him on and what didn’t. However, the undeniable, nonjudgmental want she had for him was what drove him wild the most.

Their teeth collided as they kissed and Eleanor bunched his hair up in her hands, moaning into his mouth as she moved over him. Severus let out a heavy grunt when he began to lift and lower her with his hands, urging her to move even faster.

“Mm, you like that?” Eleanor broke the kiss and gazed down at him with heavy eyes, biting her lip as she started grinding her hips forward at the same time.

“Ugh, fuck, yes,” He nodded, his mouth hanging open as he rested his head back against the back of the sofa.

“So- fucking- big…” She spoke as she lowered herself over him, latching her lips onto his neck and sucking on it gently.

Severus’ hands moved from her hips to her back, creating red marks from how much their bodies were writhing against each other and how desperate he was to keep hold of her. He hissed in pleasure through clenched teeth when he felt her flicking her tongue against the sensitive red mark now upon his neck.

He was feeling a very unfamiliar flame beginning to climb up his body, both intrigued and afraid of what would happen if it was taunted further. His thighs tensed and his cock throbbed with desperate need of Eleanor’s movements to never stop. The way she moved over him and moans she breathed against his skin told him she was feeling quite the same, only turning him on all the more.

“I— I think something is about… t-to happen…” He whimpered, now trembling beneath her.

“Yes?” Eleanor gasped in pleasure, “Yes!” She took one of his hands and placed it between her legs, guiding him to exactly where she wanted him to touch her.

“Wh.. What are…” He swallowed hard, the flames now licking further up his body.

“Make me cum, Severus,” She whispered against his lips, moaning as he began to move his fingertips in circular motions.

“B—But you’re going to make me-!” He shouted in pleasure, his back starting to arch off the sofa.

“Y—Yes, Professor, l-like-! That!” She cried, her eyes rolling back at the feeling of both his length repeatedly sliding in and out of her and his shockingly skilled fingers.

“Eleanor!” He felt her tighten around him, unable to hold back for even a moment longer as the blaze of ecstasy took over him completely, “Eleanor!”

His hot release shot inside her, the both of them emitting echoing moans which bounced against his chamber walls. The fire was still roaring against her back, resulting in even more glistening sweat on their bodies and the smell of sex radiating off them. The movements didn't die down for a long while, still grasping at each other’s naked bodies as they continued to quite literally ride out their orgasms.

“Severus…” Eleanor breathed out her words, resting her forehead against his shoulder as they both tried to catch their breath.

“W—Was that…” Severus swallowed hard, his arms yearning to be wrapped around her again but feeling physically too exhausted to do so, “Was that okay?”

“Okay?” Eleanor lifted her head and reached for their glasses of wine, handing Severus’ to him, “That was everything, Severus,” She took a sip, enjoying the feeling of his chest still raising and falling against her as he did the same, “I have never known anything to be so worth the wait.”

Severus would be lying if he said he had never felt passion or desire before in his life, but he could count on one hand how many times he had acted upon it. It was unknown for him to even allow himself to think about taking matters into his own hands, let alone become completely vulnerable to another person.

He wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened to him, but all he knew was that he wanted to do it again, and again, and again. And they did. With only sips of wine between, they had their way with each other on the sofa a second time; though this time with Severus’ weight on top of her. Eleanor devoured the view as he towered over her whilst he devoured her.

Tumbling into his bedroom was the next location — albeit to fall asleep, but that soon developing into a literal tumble in the sheets. He didn't even know where his energy had suddenly come from, he could only pin point the fact she had made him feel like he had found a new lease of life. When he awoke this morning, he had no idea this is how he would be going to bed tonight.

“You know, we’re going to have to stop this.” Eleanor breathed out her words as she rolled off him.

“Hm, what?” Severus stretched his arms above his head before rolling onto his side and gazing down at her with his head propped up on his hand, “Why?”

“Because then I'll want to go to sleep like this every night.” She giggled, lightly tracing a pattern against his bicep with her finger.

“If you so wish…” He pursed his lips, glancing at her finger and then her, “You can.”

“Mm,” She leaned in to peck his pursed lips, “I have corrupted Severus Snape.”

“You have,” He nodded, sighing dramatically, “And you’ll pay for it!”

Eleanor opened her mouth to respond but quickly turned into a fit of giggles as Severus quickly wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her gently as she wriggled in his grip. He couldn't remember a time he had ever made someone laugh like this, and, even more to the point, he couldn't remember a time where he laughed like this.

Eleanor turned around with her back to him and settled back into his arms against his body. Severus planted soft kisses along her shoulder and sighed softly, his eyes closing in content.

“I am just satisfied to know that I have made you, of all people, smile on Christmas Day,” She spoke softly, able to feel his smile against her skin once more, “It can always be like this, you know. Never spend it alone again.”

“You are not just a reason to look forward to Christmas, dear Miss Eleanor,” His lips made it to her neck, now whispering into her ear, “You are my reason to look forward to every day.”

“Well, this can be your every day, too…” She spoke timidly, placing her hands over his that were wrapped around her waist from behind.

“I would really like that, actually,” Severus replied quicker than he even anticipated, raising his eyebrows when Eleanor turned her head, kissing him with a grin, “Really like it.”

Eleanor crinkled her nose as they kissed, gently nudging their noses together before turning back around again and snuggling back into his embrace. Severus sighed softly and closed his eyes, resting his lips against the back of her shoulder again and allowing her to feel a new, all-too-familiar prod against her back as she gasped and whispered into the darkness with a grin;

“Again?”

—

Thank you SO much for reading! I hope all of those celebrating have a fabulous Christmas and that everyone has a fabulous day 😊🎅🏼🎄🎁

Tags! ❤️

@dark-st @eyesinmymindinmay @peachringz @halfbloodfics @bibliosophie @plecosylvia @severinaprince @liv2post @i-cant-pick-an-aesthetic09 @rinavarwen @millyrecords @icytrickster17 @saphiraxx @old-scratchpaper @properpotioneer @c-kayp @dracolilhoe @darkthought15 @niftysnazzy @anxiety-made @liviacarol88-blog @bayleebubble @theatreslave @thesecretsofseverussnape @dontrunannabelle @sevprince-91 @missgurlthang @mortuary-reads @gylving @randomcreator-09 @thatlittlefangirl @frequent-apple @dailyalanrickman @sorryimdyingrn @fluffyneondinosaur @lupinmoonlights @taybabylovesyou @its-just-me-chey @peppiloll @odetolithium @dreamshopesfantasies @megladon045 @sweeneytoddsmainbitch @benedict-cbe @overgrownbat @bratty-tingz @speedycupcakepaper @hamiltonstann @honeyshampoo @snifellus

[akqrus]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KAJWKSKSKJSJDKDKDJDKSJSJSKSKSKKDKDKDKDKDKKDKDKDSJKDKDJDDKDJDJKDJDKDJDKDJDKKDDJFKKFJFJFJJFJH

I LOVE THIS SO SO SOSOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHH. THIS IS SO AMAZING AND LOVELY, I FEEL LIKE IM DREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUMPED OUT OF BED FROM EXCITEMENT AND SHOWED EVERYONE.

+

LADYNOIR X SHAWARMA DATES!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THANK YOUUUUUUU, AKARIII. I LOVE YOUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Happy Holidays @akqrus !

I'm your secret Santa for the Ashville discord event~! You wanted Ladynoir I give you Ladynoir~~~~🫰😎

Here are some close-ups below :)

[fujii-draws]

Grovyle, Celebi, and Dusknoir creating the most intricate plan regarding the most appropriate time to meet Hero and Partner again in the present while they’re next to the Passage of Time. How they’ll explore the present first as a trio for a couple more weeks/months, have Grovyle and Celebi reunite with the two whilst also giving a Big Heads Up regarding Dusknoir; where they’d then go on to see whether or not they truly want him there, and take the necessary action based on their decision. (Whether it’s a unanimous ‘fuck no we don’t want him back’, 50/50, or completely okay with starting over.) Nodding in agreement towards the plan and stepping into the portal together.

They then proceed to immediately get spotted by Hero and Partner just relaxing on the beach.

[angelsfuzzyslippers]

Rambles about portraits and Octavia

So I spent a lot of time staring at this shot while I was working on art

Especially the portraits (even though I didn't draw them) and there was one in particular that really caught my eye:

This is a bit long so I'll stick my thoughts under the cut:

This portrait fascinated me because I couldn't recall seeing one like it anywhere else. We rarely (maybe never? I'm not sure) get portraits of Stolas and Stella together without Octavia and this one stuck out to me because of the posing - Stella is full-on leaning into Stolas's space, and it's often tough for me to tell when Stella is genuinely smiling with her beak, but there's unmistakable joy on her face. At first I almost wondered if this was meant to be an indication of Stolas trying harder to fit into a mold early in their marriage, be more like the type of Prince and husband Stella expected (and that might still be the case to a degree). But then I remembered we're actually in Octavia's mind/songscape, so these portraits more likely reflect how she sees her family. These could represent what she wants her family to be, but... I kinda wonder if instead they show what Octavia thought her family already was. We know from The Circus that Stella's mistreatment of Stolas was happening before he met Blitz. But I don't think Octavia knew. In Loo-Loo Land, Stella and Stolas are making no efforts to hide their dysfunctional marriage from her, but some of her statements later in the episode when she's having her heart-to-heart with Stolas ("Home doesn't even feel like home anymore, you ruined it." "When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other...") to me indicate that this dysfunction is somewhat new to her, a regular occurrence by that episode (as she doesn't bat an eye at the thrown plant), but not a long-term thing that she's accustomed to, and she immediately connects it with her father flirting with Blitz. I wonder if Stolas was actually doing a great job at hiding the cracks in his marriage - until Blitz came into the picture and suddenly he lost his grip on the facade. It would certainly help explain why Octavia repeatedly pins blame on Blitz, specifically, for their issues and why she's not as quick to place blame on her mother - from her perspective everything might've been fine until her father cheated, and her mothers aggression comes across as legitimate upset instead of long-term abuse. No idea how true any of this is, just some possibilities I was mulling over! Either way she and Stolas desperately need an honest conversation 😭

[waynes-multiverse]

Welp, I'm cozied up with my tea (and rum), baby's asleep, husband is watching LOTR, so I've got some reading time. Merry Christmas (to me) 😂🎄🥃

A gunshot rang in your ears and hit a tree instead of your head.

Jesus's birthday! We're jumping right into this, and a bullet flying past your head while you're bloody and running through the woods is horrifying 😳

Hoping the boys are close 🤍

Uttering a short scream, you grabbed his shirt and kneed him as hard as you could between the legs. You hoped you crushed his dick and balls.

Yes, girl!!!!!

She's such a badass! Russell would be so proud of her 🥹

“Goddamn, they could be anywhere,” Russell groused, as he and Colter hiked through the forest. He was, admittedly, breathing a bit harder from the trek uphill. “It’s been hours already.” “It’s barely been an hour,” Colter reminded him. And he didn’t look winded in the least.

I snorted so hard 😂😂 Such an accurate Colter moment again 🤍

I loved their little bonding/teasing moment while searching too 🥹

“Just, please be careful,” you warned him again over his shoulder. “These are quite literally hundreds of years old.”

She is so damn cute 😆💕

I'm glad it all worked out and both Charlie and her are okay. Colter watching them with his little secret smile was so adorable too. My heart is full 😭🥹❤️

“Okay, now you can take it, thank you. This thing is heavy,” you said, with a pat on Colter’s shoulder.

Dead. I just love her 😂

“Oh, yeah. I’m like a cockroach. Just keep coming back,” he said.

Damn Charlie... Love yourself a little more, buddy 😅❤️‍🩹

“No, I mean get better,” he said. “You know you nearly got your sister killed.”

Ooof, I love that Russell is giving him some tough love. He gave him such sage advice too! Charlie sure needs to hear it, and I bet Russell will only too gladly make sure it sticks 😝

“Is it the blonde one—Ken doll? Or the mountain man?”

The Ken doll... I fucking can't with you today 🤣🤣 (The rum might also be kicking in lmao)

So that was just a gesture of gratitude. He hoped you didn’t decide to thank Colter that way.

ALEX!!! 🤣🤣🤣

And then, Russell finally read your meaning. He saw it in your eyes, staring up at him through your lashes.

Finally! I genuinely love how long it took him to catch on 😂

Loved this part! I'm glad Charlie's getting some help and these two finally decided to take the plunge ☺️ Can't wait to see what happens in the last part. I know they still have some things to figure out, but I can't imagine Russell wouldn't be willing to work on some sort of agreement 💚

Every Second Counts - Part 4

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him. 

AN: No cliffhangers this time, I promise. 😘

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Perilous situations, blood and violence, some more protective Russell, angst, hurt/comfort, and fluff.~

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Part 4: “Mountain Man”

You were running for your life. 

Blood dripped down into your line of vision, but you swept it away from your face with a haphazard hand, along with your tears as you nearly stumbled on the path. 

A gunshot rang in your ears and hit a tree instead of your head.

Shit! You screamed and ducked, but you kept running…

After you tumbled down the hill, it was a small mercy that you didn’t break any bones when you eventually landed at the bottom. You’d stared up at the sky, winded, your back aching. Until you noticed Rick, one of Eddie’s men. He was sliding down the hill after you. 

You didn’t know what happened to your brother after he attempted to push you out of harm’s way. That thought alone gripped your heart like a vice, but you knew you couldn’t stay here on the ground either. 

You forced your body to move, whimpering at the pain and stiffness. Shakily you pushed onto your feet and slipped on dead leaves as you went. You moved your legs faster, until you were able to take off running deeper into the forest.

You gasped when your foot caught on a large rock. It sent you crashing into the ground. With your hands still bound, it made pushing yourself back up that much more difficult.

You spat out a couple of leaves. Fuck…

When Rick caught up to you, fear made you jolt into action. You wrapped your gathered hands around the rock that felled you and tossed it at him with all the strength you had. He blocked the projectile with the same hand that held his gun, like an idiot. You really couldn’t be blamed when the gun went off in his face.

He screamed, and so did you on reflex. Though his cheek and brow had been grazed by the bullet, he was lucky he still had both eyes. He blinked a bit of blood out of his left one. You scrambled back onto your feet and meant to keep running, but Rick still managed to surge forward and get a hold of your hair. 

Uttering a short scream, you grabbed his shirt and kneed him as hard as you could between the legs. You hoped you crushed his dick and balls.

“Oh, f—” He went down to the ground, sinking onto his knees as he dropped his gun. He glared up at you. “You little bitch!” 

You were panting for breath, but you didn’t wait for him to recover and grab his weapon again. 

You ran. 

You ran, even though you had no idea where you were going. You just knew that you couldn’t stay in one place. But if you couldn’t find your way around a college campus, how the hell were you supposed to navigate the damn Medicine Bow National Forest?

Along with your desperation and fear, tears kept filling your eyes whenever you thought of Charlie. 

Please, please, please…

“Goddamn, they could be anywhere,” Russell groused, as he and Colter hiked through the forest. He was, admittedly, breathing a bit harder from the trek uphill. “It’s been hours already.”

“It’s barely been an hour,” Colter reminded him. And he didn’t look winded in the least.

Bastard. Russell glanced at him, but then he focused on the horizon. The sun was finally starting to come up, which was good for them. They could see the trails more clearly.

“Remember when Dad used to make us free-climb the cliffs in Sierra?” Russell asked.

“Yeah,” Colter said. “You used to beat me every time. Wonder what happened to that guy.”

His tone was teasing. Russell shot him a look, half annoyed, and half amused.

“Yeah, well, he turned 40,” Russell replied.

Colter smiled, but both of them paused when they heard a gunshot ring out, followed by two more.

“That was close,” he said.

“Yeah,” Russell agreed, drawing his own gun. Colter did the same, and they hurried up a roaming hill that had Russell briefly peering over the side. In his mind’s eye, he had to shutter away the memory of seeing a body flung over the side in the dark and the rain. Then him looking over the edge of that cliff and recognizing his father’s twisted body.

And Colter, shouting up at him with angry, tearful, accusing eyes.

A male groan broke Russell out of his thoughts as he and his brother came up on a grim scene. Two men laid dead, and another young man with dark hair was lying prone on the ground, clutching his wounded leg. He’d been shot, though a gun also was held tightly in his own hand. He aimed it at the newcomers.

“Charlie?” Colter asked. He recognized the other man from your family photos.

Charlie blinked up at him in surprise, but not without a grim set to his jaw.

“Who the hell are you?” he asked.

Russell let out a subtle breath. Colter was relieved as well.

“I’m Colter. This is my brother, Russell,” he said. “Your sister asked for our help to find you.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. All of them slowly lowered their weapons. Russell gestured at the bodies lying yards away from him.

“I’m guessing one of those guys is Eddie Mendez?” he said.

Charlie nodded, gesturing at the man closest to him with his gun. He groaned at the agony in his right thigh. Colter quickly went to his side and began to wrap a tourniquet around his leg to stem the bleeding.

“Did the bullet go through?” Colter asked.

“I think so,” Charlie replied.

“Where’s your sister?” Russell asked, his impatience evident in his stance and the way he held his gun while scanning his surroundings. His frown deepened when he didn’t see you.

“Oh, fuck!” Charlie said, and not at the pain of Colter wrapping his leg. His eyes were wide with panic. “Rick’s after her. I clipped him, but he slipped by me.”

“Where?” Russell asked. Charlie pointed down the side of the hill.

“Down there. Headed north I think, but I’m not sure,” he said quickly. “Help her, please!”

Russell didn’t need any encouragement. He started down the hill first. 

After making sure Charlie was stable for now, Colter followed after his brother a few minutes later. 

Russell called your name as he searched through the dense trees. Sunlight was beginning to filter through their leaves in dappled color on the trail. It gave him a better view ahead.

He stopped short when he saw a splatter of blood on the ground, painting the dirt and some dead leaves. A well of unease rose in his gut.

He headed toward the sound of running water, and he soon found another cliff. Just beyond it was a waterfall, and river below. Seeing no signs of life, he pulled back and continued to call your name, and all the while, pushing down his worry.

“Russell?!”

He turned sharply to see you coming out of your hiding place—a large fallen tree. A smile started to raise his lips, but no sooner had he taken one step in your direction, when he almost got a bullet in his head for his trouble. 

“Watch out!” you yelled. Rick came out into the clearing and aimed at you next. 

“Get down!” Russell shouted. 

Without blinking, he shot Rick three times: once in the shoulder, twice in the chest. 

The man went down. He was dead before he even met the ground. 

It was then that Colter finally caught up. Russell nodded at him, but his focus was on heading for the fallen tree after he stowed his gun.

The moment he took a step over it, you popped up with a yell, ready to smack him with a tree branch. He leaned back raised up his hands in defense. 

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay! It’s just me, slugger,” he said with a grin. 

You let out a sharp sigh of relief. The branch fell from your loose fingers. As you caught your breath, your mouth trembled, and your eyes filled with tears at the sight of him. 

Russell softened. He reached for you.

“Come ‘ere,” he said. Your hands slipped into his, and he helped you over the trunk of the tree. After using his handy pocketknife to cut through the zip ties binding your wrists together, you landed right into his waiting embrace. There, you spilled hot tears into his bulletproof vest. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve gotcha,” he said. His voice was low and soothing. “You’re okay.”

You raised your head with a desperate question in your eyes.

“Charlie?” you asked.

“Charlie’s okay too,” Russell assured. His hand soothed over your tangled hair and down your back. He could feel you trembling as you rested against him and sobbed. He held you tight, safe, as he rocked you a little from side to side. His own relief was a weight off his chest. 

Colter stood by and watched with a secret smile. 

With his bare hands clawing into damp soil, Colter dug up the crate Charlie buried near the base of the waterfall. True to his word, it was filled with precious artifacts. 

“Just, please be careful,” you warned him again over his shoulder. “These are quite literally hundreds of years old.”

Before Colter could assure you, again, that he’d be careful, you actually set a hand on his shoulder and implored him to move back.

“Matter of fact, sorry, let me do this part,” you said. “I’m the only one who’s really trained to handle these. Plus, your hands are dirty.”

Colter raised a brow, but he obliged you. He glanced over at his brother. Russell just watched in amusement while you opened the crate. 

You wished you had gloves on for this, but you supposed it couldn’t be helped. You stopped just shy of touching them—a bow and arrow, three spears, and a couple of knives. Each were crafted with wood and bone, with designs carved and accented in faded red and blue.

“Wow,” you whispered. Your historian heart was singing right now. 

You made sure each artifact was intact and hadn’t sustained water damage, then you covered them back up with the lid to the crate. 

“Okay, now you can take it, thank you. This thing is heavy,” you said, with a pat on Colter’s shoulder. 

His lips played at a smile, but he accepted the responsibility of carrying the crate.

Russell rested a hand on the small of your back to subtly help you back up the hill. You couldn’t help walking closer with him, your arm brushing against his side. You glanced up at him with a smile. He matched you, then looked up ahead. 

Charlie was waiting for you all while leaning against a tree. He still looked like utter hell—cut up, bruised, bloody, and now shot in the leg. You went to his side and gently grabbed his arm. 

“God, Charlie. You sure you’re okay?” you asked. He curled an arm around your shoulders and flashed you a familiar grin. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m like a cockroach. Just keep coming back,” he said.

You had to agree with that, laughing through the spark of your tears. Russell came on his other side and shouldered most of your brother's weight off his bad leg. 

“Okay, here we go. One step at a time,” Russell said.

Slowly, painfully, Charlie managed to make it back to Colter’s truck with you and Russell supporting him. Colter brought up the rear with the artifacts in tow. 

And behind you all, the sun broke more fully across the dewy trees in a morning swathed with orange and gold.

After Colter drove you and Charlie to the hospital, he and Russell took off again soon after to do something with the three bodies hidden under a tarp in the bed of the pickup truck. The thought made you shudder, along with the fact that the Shaw brothers knew how to hide bodies.

But you supposed it was better than the alternative.

As it was, you, Colter, and Charlie had to lie to the hospital staff about how you both had earned your injuries—in a brutal mugging, where Colter was able to scare off the men that got the jump on you and Charlie.

"I never saw their faces," as he'd later told the police, while the nurses prepped him for surgery. "I just tried to protect my sister the best I could."

You backed him up on the story, even as the lie felt bitter on your tongue and made you nervous (especially when you thought of poor Dr. Feinman).

Despite that little break-in at the museum yesterday, you'd never been good at being a rule breaker. Fortunately, Colter's calmness when he gave his corroborating statement helped you. Like Russell, he was a solid, anchoring presence...if in a different way.

For the crate of relics, Colter advised Charlie to ship them back to the museum anonymously. It would be the easiest way to encourage the police to lose steam on looking for who took them in the first place. You and your brother begrudgingly agreed, even if you had a secret thought of sending the artifacts to the NMAI. Maybe you could convince Charlie to send them there instead, or to one of the local Native American tribes here in Wyoming.

Hours later, however, you were able to finally be with your brother when he came out of surgery. In that time, your own bruises and the cut above your brow had been tended to in the Emergency Department. Now, you sat by his bedside while he slept off the anesthesia. You stroked his scuffed hand on the bed.

He really was a mess, you thought, as a tear rolled down your cheek. But he was alive. That was what mattered now.

A quiet knock at the door had you looking up, and then smiling to see Russell.

“Hey,” you said quietly, and in surprise. “Everything…went well?”

Russell’s lips quirked. “Yeah, we’re all set.”

No one would be finding those bodies anytime soon. He had a buddy in Denver, Colorado who happened to be a cremator. It was only a couple hours over from Laramie. He and Colter had just gotten back from driving the bodies there.

Before Colter drove over to Dory's apartment next, both to check on her and to fill her in on everything, he'd dropped Russell off at your house so he could get his car. He hadn’t felt right about leaving you in the hospital by yourself, even if you did have your brother.

Not without saying goodbye, at least.

“You know, I need to ask his doctor a question about his post-op care,” you said, gesturing at Charlie. “Can you stay with him for a minute while I go find a nurse?”

“Sure,” Russell agreed. You smiled gratefully and touched his arm as you passed him.

When you were gone, it left a heavy silence in your wake. Russell looked over at Charlie’s sleeping form. Russell sighed and sunk down into the chair beside the bed. He rubbed his tired face with both hands.

Shit. Now that he thought about it, he could’ve just told Colter to bring Dory here. He pulled out his phone to call his sister, when a low groan caught his attention.

Aw geez. What kinda timing, Russell thought, as he realized Charlie was waking up. His eyes slowly slid open, brows furrowing at the bright lights above him, then at the man beside him.

“Hey, man,” Russell said. “You’re okay. You’re in the hospital.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Charlie said, with another groan as he tried to stretch his body. He found he couldn’t yet move his leg. As awareness blinked back into his eyes, he settled on Russell with resignation.

“Thank you,” he said. “What you did for me, for her…I sure as hell didn’t deserve it, but thank you for saving her.”

Russell shook his head. “No need. Just get better.”

“Yeah. The doc says in a few months, I’ll be able to learn how to walk again,” Charlie said.

Russell gave him a firmer look.

“No, I mean get better,” he said. “You know you nearly got your sister killed.”

Charlie’s gaze fell. His face tightened, but really, he couldn’t even be upset at the accusation. He knew it was true, and his guilt already threatened to consume him. He also knew he should be in jail for what he’d done, and what he’d facilitated for months. After what nearly happened in the past twenty-four hours, he wasn’t sure how you could ever forgive him.

“Look, I served too. I know what you’re going through, being back here,” Russell said. “It feels wrong and right, don’t it?”

After a beat, Charlie nodded. “What branch?”

“Special Ops. I hear you were a pilot, Captain.”

“Yeah, I was,” Charlie said, his eyes lowering. “Now…now I don’t know what I am.”

“You’re her brother,” Russell said. Both his tone and his gaze all but demanded that the other man look him in the eyes. “Not her father or her son, her brother. I know you’ve been struggling. But I think you already know what you need to do, and figure out who you’re gonna be today, tomorrow, and the next.”

Charlie took in those words, and tried not to chafe at them coming from a near stranger. He knew, deep down, that all of it was right.

You came in a moment later with two cups of coffee. You brightened with a gasp when you saw that Charlie was awake.

“Hey.” He found a smile for you. You gave Russell the coffee you’d brought for him, but you quickly set yours down on the rolling tray so you could sit beside your brother.

Russell stepped out to give you two some privacy. You thanked him again and watched him go. Then, you turned back to Charlie with a tearful smile.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked.

“Have I said how much I love morphine?” Charlie remarked.

You rolled your eyes and took his hand in yours. “Yeah, how can I forget your thing for hard drugs.”

That hit sharper than a mere joke. His eyes fell away from yours. You sighed and bit your lip.

“I’m sorry,” you said. Charlie shook his head and covered your hand with his.

“No, I’m sorry. For everything I’ve put you through. And I don’t just mean today,” he said. “I’m going to make it up to you.”

“All that matters is that you’re here, and you’re going to be fine,” you said. “I’ve already put together a list of what you’re going to need when we bring you home—”

Charlie stopped you with a squeeze of your hand.

“I’m not going home just yet,” he said.

“Well, no, not until they discharge you, but—”

Again, he gently cut you off. “You were right. I need treatment, and not just for this damn leg.”

He swept a hand through his hair and sighed.

“When they let me out of here, I’m going back to rehab,” he said. “After that, we’ll see.”

 Tears stung in your eyes…but you nodded in relief. You held both of his hands then.

“You’re not doing this alone,” you told him. “I’ll be with you, every step.”

 Charlie let out a self-deprecating chuckle. He felt he didn’t deserve that, but he smiled at you.

“I know. You’ll be nagging me in my head, even when you’re not there,” he said. You smirked and brushed his greasy hair away from his face.

“Damn straight,” you replied. “I’ve finally become Mom.”

Charlie shook his head in amusement, but he leveled you with a pointed finger.

“But for now, you need to go home and get some rest,” he said.

You reluctantly agreed with that too. After a full twenty-four hours without sleep, you realized that you were exhausted. You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you,” you said. “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow.”

“Good. Love you too,” said Charlie. His eyelids were starting to droop from the pain medication, but he forced himself to stay awake for a little while longer. He even helped you back onto your feet with a guiding hand on your back. “Wait, is someone staying with you tonight? I don’t want you to be alone.”

You grabbed up your purse. “Don’t worry. I think I’ve got that covered.”

Your brother quirked a suspicious smile at the look on your face. The one you tried to hide from him when you noticed his scrutiny.

“What, is it one of those guys who helped us?” he asked. “Is it the blonde one—Ken doll? Or the mountain man?”

Of course he knew their names, but he just wanted to mess with you. He could already see you getting flustered while you twisted the strap of your purse between your fingers and glanced at the door.

 “What? No! Just go to sleep. Take advantage of the morphine while you’ve got it,” you said. “Don’t worry. I’ll call Dory.”

Charlie leveled you with a look. “Mhmm.”

He pulled the blanket higher on his chest and watched you leave. When the door swung open, he saw Russell leaning against the wall, waiting for you. 

Charlie huffed. He should’ve known. 

Okay, mountain man.  

That was the last thought he had before he drifted off.

You left your brother’s room just about overwhelmed with a maelstrom of emotions. However, the moment you saw Russell waiting for you, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, it all distilled into one simple thing. 

He met your gaze and started to smile. 

You smiled back, and you went to him. 

You reached up to frame his face with both hands, and you searched for something in his eyes. They were tinged with surprise, but he waited on you, wondering what you were about to do. 

When you thought you found what you were looking for, you raised up on your toes and pressed your lips to his.

His hands unconsciously found your waist and held you to him. He met your lips in kind, and even deepened the connection. Your fingers slipped into his hair, lightly dragging your nails against his scalp. He hummed in pleasure. 

When your lips eventually parted from his, it was still too soon, he thought. Russell stared down at you with a question in his eyes—one he couldn’t help voicing.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Thank you for everything.”

Ah… Russell’s smile evened out and faded slightly. 

So that was just a gesture of gratitude. He hoped you didn’t decide to thank Colter that way. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Russell said. “I’m glad Charlie’s all right.”

“No, I do need to. So thank you,” you said. Your hands drifted down his chest, plucking at the edge of his jacket. 

“I don’t really want to be alone today, to be honest,” you admitted. “Would you…want to…keep me company for a while? You could rest up at my place.”

Russell’s brows raised. His lips curved. 

“Well, sure. I could do that. Your couch seemed pretty comfortable,” he said. 

“You don’t have to stay on the couch,” you replied. 

And then, Russell finally read your meaning. He saw it in your eyes, staring up at him through your lashes.

Maybe that kiss was exactly what he thought it meant. His smile became more genuine.

“Well, okay,” he said eventually. He wrapped an arm around your waist. “Let’s get you home then.”

You leaned against his side and gave him a lazy salute. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

He shook his head. His smile deepened into a grin.  

“You’re a little delirious, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Probably need some water,” you said with a giggle. “And God, I’m starving.”

Russell laid a gentle kiss to the side of your head that wasn’t bruised.

“All right, we’ll take care of that too,” he said.

“You know what I’m craving?” you asked. He looked down at you questioningly, and again he found your smile.

“Sriracha fries,” you said.

Russell busted out laughing at that. He fist-pumped the air with his free hand. 

“Hell, yeah.” 

For that, and much more, he would count today as a win. 

AN: There we go! A nice fluffy finish for you. How did you like how Charlie's arc wrapped up, along with her reunion with Russell? 💜

But just wait. We're not quite done yet...

Next Time:

He took in your hesitant face, then the pretty dress you had on. The color matched your eyes. Soulful eyes.

He smiled when you let him see them again.

“Can you see the bruises? I think I covered them up well enough,” you said. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror again, touching your jaw carefully. 

Russell’s hand raised to find your cheek, earning your attention with wider eyes. His thumb swept across your skin as you started to blush.

“You’re beautiful,” he said with a smile. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Your face warmed further, despite your smile. 

“Yeah, the makeup helps,” you quipped. 

“I didn’t say anything about makeup,” he replied. Though he grinned and made a show of looking closer at your face. “Although, have your lashes always been that damn long?”

You laughed, but he didn’t let go of you.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 5 (Finale!)

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[xxnghtclls]

Uraume‘s Epilogue

Information about Sukuna we got with this epilogue that I find important 🤲

The cloak that Sukuna wears is an actual proper black Haori with sleeves 😆 He even seems to have made holes in the back to be able to stick his second pair of arms through it!

As a moot on bluesky pointed out: his icehouse is called a Himuro. It even looks like he built it himself. Or he found an abandoned one, or killed the previous owner. I‘m not sure about how far those icehouses were located from the actual residence of a person, but so far it seems to me that Sukuna might‘ve lived all alone in that forest. (Maybe even built himself a hut idk) I sure have always seen him as someone who enjoys quiet and nature.

Considering he just made a hole in his Haori instead of having one tailored for him, we could assume he didn‘t have money or any kind of social interactions in that point of his life.

This whole page just screams Permission bro.

Him in a forest, the killed stags, Uraume preparing meat for him 😭

So what do we learn? Gege read Permission

Him taking Uraume with him (regardless of whatever their relationship was) and him staying with them after death, just shows once again that Sukuna isn‘t the raging mindless Monster some ppl make him seem to be. He actually can be very soft at heart, makes me wonder if he took Uraume with him since he knows what it means to be an abandoned child / orphan. Of course he was calculating bcs of his destroyed ice house and the good meat, but he doesn‘t come across any kind of scary or devious in any of those panels. So there actually might be a soft core in him.

The translation said that his earrings are no decoration but that it‘s a deformed bone 😭 My guy has itching ears how cute can he get??

And finally, his twins soul got reincarnated into Wasuke, not Jin as we previously thought. I recommend to rewatch Wasukes moments in the anime. It‘s likely that Sukuna‘s behavior is very similar to his 😆

[admirationandromantics]

Keeping Warm

Another request, thank you so much. Again, reminding people that these usually take some time!! I loved the concept of this one, and believe me when I say that I love to write smut (blog is 18+ minors get away). It's not exactly like the request, but I still hope you like it.

And Merry Christmas and happy holidays! Not gonna be active today, so please enjoy this one and send requests if you want me to take a look at them later. Have a nice day everyone <3

Basically, reader comes to the lodge with Josh a day earlier to set everything up, and they have to get the guest cabin ready. Snow storm, they're snowed in and have to keep warm (you can imagine where this goes).

Word count: 3,3k (Unedited)

i absolutely adore your work, especially the drugged chocolate ones was such a trip!! i was hoping if you could write about josh and reader being stuck in a snow storm. being stuck somewhere, a car or a small cabin (whatever works for you!) and having to have sex for warmth. i know this request is kind of silly but i could totally imagine josh asking this just to be funny and being shocked that reader agrees to do it.😭 (@dissolvedprincess)

“Should we go and set up the guest cabin for Emily and Mike?” I ask, fluffing the last pillow on the sofa. 

“Are we done here?” Josh comes into the room, looking around for any imperfections. Everything is cleaned, changed and heated up. I take it all in, the coziness of the lodge is like no other. It is perfect. 

“Yes we are, don’t you think?”

He comes up behind me, seeing everything from my perspective. 

“Yeah, looks great, guest cabin next”

We take our jackets, not bothering with extra sweaters and outerwear. We aren’t going to be long, just change the sheets, check if there’s firewood and do a quick cleanup. 

Everyone is arriving at the lodge tomorrow night, and I volunteered to come with Josh to prepare for it. The weekend was going to be awesome. Drinking, dancing and talking. I do have an ulterior motive to the kindness I’m paying him. Usually he does these things himself, but by coming with him, we could get some alone time. Not that it would lead to anything, either way, I enjoy his company. 

We go outside, the snow-filled wind immediately hitting us. I knew it was brewing up for a storm, but I didn’t expect it to come so early. I look over at him, and he has his hand in the air, reaching out for me. I grab it, holding firm so I don’t lose him. We can barely see, barely open our eyes to follow the path before us. 

He leads me down, an occasional swing to the side and a little hill here and there. We walk up a couple of stairs when we suddenly hear a loud wolf’s howl. Fucking hell, was this mountain trying to kill us? Luckily, he’s basically grown up here, and knows by heart the way. I finally glimpse the little cabin in the distance, dark and empty. I collect my last strength, one hand still in his and the other in my pocket to keep its warmth. There’s a bunch of snow in front of the door, but he kicks a little away, as if that’s going to help. Hands go in his pocket, finding the keys. He fumbles with them, finally finding the right one and unlocking the door. He struggles to open it, the snow going too high. I try to help him, using my hands to mow as much of the white coldness away that I can. It finally opens, just enough that one of us can press through at a time. I go first, letting him hold the door open. He quickly follows, squeezing his body through the tight space. 

As the door closes, a blissful silence falls over us. The only sound being the wind howling outside, slamming against the wood walls. I look around the cabin. It’s dark and cold, probably dusty as well. 

“Fuck, what a weather” he exclaims relieved, taking a deep breath and going straight for the bedroom. I follow suit, helping him find new sheets, organising, cleaning stuff away, and sweeping the floor. We share one lamp, moving from room to room as we do the tasks. 

“You know, it was great having someone up here with me this year” 

“Don’t worry about it, give me a treat and I’ll come next year as well”

“You’re that easy?”

“In this area, yes”

He laughs at my response, and I sit down on the couch, finally being able to relax a bit. He sits down beside me, legs touching as he makes himself comfortable. I look over, noticing that his gaze is already on me. Eyes move up and down, taking in every inch of me as I’m laid out on the couch. 

“Staring a bit much are we, Washington?” 

“Can’t help myself”

“I mean, if I was wearing a bikini and sitting in a hot tub, I’d be flattered. But you’re literally looking at wool and a massive jacket” 

“Hey, I know what I’m into, you don’t”

I smile, the playfulness of it all getting to me. 

“I don’t know what you’re into or what I’m into?” 

“The first one you know” 

“That you’re into wool and big jackets” 

“Like thinking about what’s underneath” 

“Good play Josh”

I laugh, standing up and taking a last lap around the cabin. The bedroom’s good, the kitchen’s good and the living room’s great. 

“I think we’re good to go back” 

He stands up as well, grabbing his knees and grunting like an old man. He takes a quick look around, being satisfied with the result. 

“You’re right, it’s starting to get cold” 

We go to the door, and he tries pushing it open. It doesn’t budge. He tries again, putting more force into it than last time. It still doesn’t open. He keeps trying, and I move over to the window to look outside. We’ve been in too long, and the snow is now reaching up to our waists, the storm still going strong. 

“Josh, I don’t think we’ll be able to get out” 

He moves to my side, seeing the snow balling on. 

“Windows” He comments, eyes widening in realisation, glad for the solution he conjured. We try to open it, but to no avail. We try the other one as well, but they’re both frozen shut. 

“Shit, shit, shit” 

“Do you have your phone?”

I reach in my pockets, making myself aware that I left it back at the lodge. He hums, trying to think. 

“Okay, I think I’ll pass sometime during the night, right?”

“I believe so” I try to stay hopeful, even with our clothes, the cabin was freezing. 

“Hey Josh, how about we start a fire?” 

He answers by moving over to the fireplace, sitting down and giving a loud sigh. What was the problem now? 

“Out of firewood” 

“You’re joking” 

“I wish I was” 

I whine out loud. What the hell were we gonna do? The only way out is blocked. Even if we manage to remove some of the snow, the storm would replace it easily, leading to us being exhausted and frozen. 

He walks over, hands going to either side of me and holding tight. I look up, finding his eyes oddly comforting, though being anxious himself. I take a deep breath, meeting his gaze before leaning on him, burying my head in the crook of his neck. I wasn’t going to be so shameless to sniff him, but my body listens before I think. Like warmth and fire, how ironic. 

“Listen, this is going to be great” 

I move away, rolling my eyes and giving him a ‘oh, really’-sarcastic look. He smiles, hands gripping even harder and moving up and down, warming me up. 

“It is! Look, we’ve been cleaning and preparing all day, now we’ll relax, talk and just enjoy the night” 

“Josh, it’s freezing” 

“We have each other. At least I didn’t send you here on your own” He laughs, a playful glint in his eyes. 

“Would you?” 

“Nah, I wouldn’t” 

I sit down on the couch, and he goes into the bedroom to get the covers and some more blankets. We get cozy, sitting beside each other in front of the cold fireplace and telling stories. We talk about Chris and Ashley, as well as Mike and Emily. 

“You have noticed the tension between Jess, Emily and your sister, right?” 

“Who hasn't?” 

We go into detail about our lives, and just now, I realise how little I actually know about him. I haven’t gone beyond surface level, which is partly his fault because of the fake persona he always displays, but still…

“Wait, you had a thing for me?” 

My eyes widen at the realisation, a book which I could never imagine was opened. He once liked me. He thought about me, and felt a certain way. 

“Well, had and had… But, you know”

“Yeah, would be a bit weird for the others, don’t you think?”

“Not as weird as Mike’s triangle-drama” he states, laughing at the man. 

“Isn’t it technically a quadruple-drama?” 

“Wouldn’t that be a foursome?” I think for a minute, intrigued by the affairs. I could be, I bet Mike would love it, but I don’t think that’s the right term. 

“No, that’s just sexual, this is just drama” 

“Speaking of sex and sexual appeal…” Josh starts, and I can help but snort. How the conversation has turned. I never imagined myself talking about this, with him, here. 

“Was all this a plot just to make me tell you this?” 

“Maybe” he answers, a playful smirk on his lips. He loves the direction this is going, he’s intrigued, interested. Of course he is. It’s freaking Josh Washington. 

“Okay then, let me tell you. If we had a fire here, I might do it right here” 

“Really?” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time” 

His eyes widens in surprise, brows furrowing in confusion. Oh, it sounds like I’ve done it ‘here’ before, which is absolutely not what I meant 

“You mean that time you and Sam shared this cabin…”

“No, no! Sorry, I worded that wrong. I just meant to say that fire in itself is a bit of a vibe, mood lighting and all” 

“Ohhh, yeah” 

“Not that I’ve done it here, I’ve never had sex on a mountain before”

“You don’t say” his tone is different, something darkly curious in it. I smile at him, aware that I’ve shared a bunch and he hasn’t shared anything. 

“I do, have you?” 

He pauses, looking at the imaginary fire we’ve constructed, keeping us warm. None of us are, which is why we’re automatically sliding closer and closer. We can’t help it, it’s just instinct at this point. 

“No I have not” 

“I’m surprised” 

“What, why?” 

“Well, bring a girl up to a mountain, your secluded beautiful bachelor pad. Who knows what might happen” 

“Are you saying we should…” 

“You wish Washington” 

He puts his hands up in defeat, grinning at my smiling face. I’ve never connected with him this way before. There’s something different about it, as if everything happening is supposed to. We’re supposed to be trapped here, in the ice cold cabin, fighting for warmth together. 

“Maybe I do” 

I laugh, thinking back on all the things I’ve imagined before. I know I have a dirty mind, but when my thoughts are filled with this man, I can’t help myself. I lean my head against his chest, pulling all the layers over us as I close my eyes. 

“Let me know when the storm is over” 

“You know you should never sleep in situations like these” 

“You’re here, I’ll be okay” 

***

I wake up shivering. The wind is still howling outside, and the room is icy. Josh has his eyes closed, probably sleeping. 

“Psst, Josh” I whisper, my body vibrating as I speak. He opens his eyes, body suddenly aware of the cold air surrounding him. 

“Shit, it’s cold” 

“Should we try to get back to the lodge?” I propose, breathing coming in quick and fast. This was not good. We’re literally going to get hypothermia if we keep like this. He stands up, arms around himself as he looks out the window. 

“It has calmed a bit, but seeing our condition, we’ll not be able to get all the snow away” 

“Fuck” I shutter, pressing the covers harder on me as if it’s going to work. He sits down beside me again, starting to remove his clothing. My mouth opens as he keeps going. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Body heat, take your clothes off” 

“You know the first factor that you have hypothermia is that you want to remove your clothing?” I add, the idea being odd. I know it’s a legit thing, but at this point, the covers seem like the best options. 

“So, I guess you are not reason enough?”

“If I wasn’t freezing to death, I would laugh at that” 

He finally reveals himself, taking the last shirt off before moving to his pants. I shake my head, what am I going to do? 

“What are you waiting for, I’m going to freeze to death alone and you have to wait here for backup with my dead corpse” 

I oblige, starting to take off my clothes. The jacket, the sweater, the shirt… 

“How much am I taking off?” 

“As much as possible” 

“Josh, is it really necessary t-” 

“Oh, fuck it” he exclaims, taking hold of my pants and dragging them off, leaving me only in my underwear. He’s quick to lay down, pulling me on top of him and the covers over us. I almost faint from the warmth. His chest is hot, heart beating rapidly as his cold hands run over my naked back. Our legs tangled together, his crotch by mine as I try not to think about our position. I do my best to adjust my breathing, calming myself and forcing my brain to stop the conjuring of dirty images. The silence is deafening, and I ask the only appropriate question that comes to mind. 

“Why shouldn’t you sleep in situations like these?” 

“What?” 

“I know we shouldn’t, but why?” 

His hand keeps drawing circles on my back, occasionally touching the hem of my bra. 

“Because our body temperature lowers when we sleep, we don’t use as much energy, like an energy-saver” 

“Oh, yeah, makes sense. You keep active and work out so your body gets hotter. It’s such a simple concept, I just didn’t really think about it” I exclaim, a bit embarrassed it didn’t click faster. 

“Yeah… You know, there’s other ways to keep warm too” he continues in a whisper, and I move my head, holding myself up as I look down on him. Our faces inch closer, hot breaths colliding. 

“Like…” his hand moves under the hem of my panties, tugging at the fabric. I feel him getting harder under me, poking at my dripping heat. 

“Like-” I interrupt him with my lips, crashing into him. He answers quickly, opening his mouth and grabbing my ass. He squeezes, causing me to moan into him. My arms fly up, one beside his head and one feeling down his toned stomach. I take him in, his warmth, tracing every curve and muscle. 

I start grinding on him, elevating his hardness and making him groan into me. He grabs my thighs, pushing me closer and moving underneath. My body is on fire, kisses getting sloppier and wetter. One of his hands moves to my heat, letting me grind down on his fingers. 

“So this is how you’ve felt about me all this time” he coos, stroking the wet fabric. I force myself not to make sounds so early, after all, he gets me all worked up so quickly. How am I going to keep it up? 

“I can say the same about you” I state as my hand goes down to cup his bulge. He grabs my thigh harder, a weak attempt at controlling himself. My hand goes to trace the hem of his boxers, teasing him with the movements. He jolts into me, making me yelp and lose my balance, falling over him once again. He grabs the back of my neck pushing my lips down on his. His teeth clasp around my lower lip, definitely colouring it red. 

His hands move up to my back, fiddling with the clasp of my bra. It takes a couple of tries, and I try to hide my smile. 

“Need help?” 

“It’s the position we’re in” 

“What, me on top of you?”

“More the freezing cabin-bit, but maybe you’ve got a point” 

He manages to unhook it, dragging it off my arms and throwing it in the clothing pile. I’m about to kiss him again, when he takes hold of my body, one hand on my back and one on my thigh, and rolls us around, making him lay on top. The action leaves me in surprise, it was unexpected, but so is he. I should always be on my toes around him. 

He captures my lips again, mouth moving to my jaw and down my neck. I can’t help the sounds I make, each one a result of his tender touches. He’s warm and cozy, knowing exactly how to make me melt underneath. His mouth travels down my stomach, leaving kisses and bites all over. I whine at the pain, but he quickly licks and kisses the areas better again. Hands are kneading my breast and thighs, coming slowly up to my wet heat. I grab hold of him, not wanting him to go further down. 

“No, please, stay up here with me” 

It’s cold without his chest against mine, it feels empty and alone. He smiles at my request, pushing himself up again and letting me feel his lips. 

“I’m not saying I don’t want to, but-” 

“I know, we’ll keep each other warm” 

He speaks in a tone I’ve never heard before, making butterflies flap around in my stomach. It’s loving and caring. A deep voice which makes my toes curl. I’ve never felt as safe before. He takes hold of my underwear, dragging it down my legs. I help him, kicking it off my feet. He does the same with his, leaving both of us pressed together, in an ice-cold cabin, with a bunch of blankets, naked. I feel him stroke my folds, his hardness pressed against me. I yearn for him, waiting for him to take the first move. 

He does. Chests pressed up against each other, he lowers himself, slowly filling me up. Head is in the crook of my neck, breathing heavily as he keeps going. Shit, he’s big, not even feeling his thighs yet and still pressing in. 

“You’re doing so good for me” he whispers, breathing unevenly and struggling to form the words. Knowing that he’s also feeling this way makes it better. I take hold of his torso, quickly pushing myself completely down on him. We both moan in response, and he doesn’t waste time, starting to move immediately. The cabin fills up with the sound and smell of sex, whimpers and moans in symphony, no one close enough to hear. We’re here, alone and together. 

His pelvis rubs against mine, giving me that extra bit of friction to my core. It starts building up, the warmth, the withholding pleasure wishing to cave. His arm takes hold of my leg, lifting it up, letting him dig himself even deeper. My back arches as he does, reaching my cervix, pain and pleasure shooting through me at the same time. 

“Fuck, Josh I’m gonna come” 

“Mhm, yeah me too” 

He pumps in and out, almost leaving me before slamming into me again. His hand grabs my side harshly, leaving marks which’ll stay for days. My arms go around him, pressing him harder against me, elevating the friction and rubbing. I can’t help it, my nails digging into his back, scraping and crying for release. His lips capture mine in a passionate kiss, and I finally come, clenching around him. Feeling my whole body twitch with pent up energy and ecstasy. He rides me through it, pumping until he digs himself deep, coating my walls in white release. 

The room is filled with deep breaths, bodies tight as his arms go around me, head moving up to kiss my cheek. I stroke his back hand hair, not getting enough of him. I just had sex with Josh Washington, but… was it just to keep warm? My own insecurities get the better of me, and as if on cue, he meets my eyes with his, looking for something. 

“You okay?” 

“I mean, I’m warm” 

“That’s not what I mean” 

I sigh, the high slowly falling, making my body limb and tired. 

“What happens now?” 

He smiles, leaning down and kissing me again, this time, more romantic, more real. 

“I guess we lay here until the sun comes up. Then we get to the lodge, and maybe we can do this again” 

“Again?” 

“You know, really do it again” 

“Fucking hell Washington, that’s not what I mean” 

“I know what you mean, and you should probably stick to calling me Josh”

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Here I am finally! 🥳

I loved this chapter, you perfectly pictured all the feelings they have and made it all so angsty, i love some well written angst sometimes and this works so well 🥲

“Despite it all, and I know how stupid this sounds. How stupid this is. I still… can’t stop thinking about him.” You confess out loud. 

Girl, same. SAME.

When he held your face in his hand and wiped your tears you knew that whatever was going on, his feelings for you were not something to question. He wanted you on a primal level and you wanted him to take what he needed from you. 

This is so beautiful, I can imagine him doing this to me, I would melt instantly 🫠 GIIIIIRL, He loves you, he’s just bad at communicating, you know 😭

Not to mention no one had pleasured you like Joel Miller. You were absolutely smitten by everything he gave to you. He made you insatiable for him in every way. 

Yep, she’s me 100%

As he started playing, he blocked out everything around him. His mind was just filled with the memories of Tess. What he loved. What he wanted. What he never got and never will. What he would always mourn but no longer desire. His time with her was over for him. He could feel his heart aching as he sang, but also getting lighter, not realizing how heavy this all was weighing on him for such a long time until he was letting it go

This description 😭 He’s so sweet, he has the biggest heart deep down inside him, I want to cry 🥺

A conflicting wave of emotions tears through him and it takes everything not to lose his composure. He takes the deepest breath, closes his eyes and it isn’t Tess that comes to mind. 

It’s you.

He’s so pookie, I love him 🥺

You had 34 unread messages from Joel. 9 missed calls and 3 voicemails. You fought the urge to see what he had to say and instead gave notice to your other missed calls.

And desperately down so bad, pls, I need to hug him 💔

You hugged the shirt to your chest and breathed in his masculine scent that still lingered. The scent that drove you wild with desire.  

Oh, I’m melting, bye 🫠

Settling on the second picture you sent, he focuses on how deranged and needy you looked. Hungry for his cock. Your breasts were perfectly in view and still partially clad in his shirt. His scent was all over you in that moment. You were his.  

This whole scene is SO HOT 🥵 And I actually love that he’s so hungry for her that he can’t even keep his hands off his cock heheheh 🤭

He was dressed in some dirty jeans that hugged him perfectly and heavy work boots. His torso clad in a rustic, plaid flannel not too different from the one you stole. The sleeves are pushed up and bunched on his forearms and his hands protected with leather gloves. 

This whole thing is going to be stuck in my mind for a long time, Jesus, I need lumberjack Joel so bad it’s ridiculous 🥵

The area between his shoulder blades was damp and dark with sweat. The curls in his hair were an unruly mess, especially where they met the hot perspiration on his neck. 

Oh yes, sweaty Joel is doing things to me 🤤

The desire to have his arms on you in this moment and feel the full force of his body against you

Crying 😭 the end is equally beautiful and painful, I can’t wait for them to stop arguing 🥲

Another beautiful chapter, my dear, you’re doing so great 🥹🥰

The Wolf You Feed (Part 5)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count: 7.3k

Part 5 / ? (Ongoing) A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T

Summary: Set in a fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.

Chapter Warnings: ANGST. Smut. POV-Switching. Rated Explicit. 18+ MDNI. See series masterlist for general warnings.

A/N: Hang in there friends. I will ease your pain soon 🧡

The next day you were, for the most part, unconsolable. Marlene let you lay around in her guest bed while you faded in between sleep and numbness. 

The pain was unfamiliar. Hurt because it was so unexpected. Amplified because you were falling so hard for him and thought he felt the same way. Hurt by the immense weight of betrayal and deception that he dumped on you last night. Hurt by the thought that he didn’t want you to know. Hurt because despite the pain you still felt a longing and prayed to just wake from the nightmare like it was all just a bad dream.

The early afternoon sun gave its best attempt to bring some life to you, but you simply rolled away from the window and wrapped yourself up in your warm cocoon. Your phone screen lit up on the nightstand for the umpteenth time and you ignored it.

The apathy you were feeling was weighing you down, paralyzing you from moving from your safe haven. It felt like time wasn’t moving either, and you were just trapped in this moment and helpless to do anything about it.

The 360 your emotions took in the span of 24 hours was unprecedented. It took everything out of you and you can’t stop ruminating on what was and what could have been. Where do you go from here? 

Last night, you don’t remember much of what happened when you left Coppers. You were inconsolable and Marlene felt too responsible for you to let you go home by yourself in your condition. She insisted you get in her car and she brought you to her apartment which was not too far away. 

She didn’t ask you any questions, and you could only assume what she could possibly be thinking about you now. You felt embarrassed and sick to your stomach whenever flashes from the night before popped into your mind. 

How could you have been so stupid?   

A tiny knock on the door caught your attention and Marlene meekly poked her head in. She wandered over to the bed and sat at the edge.

“Come on. I made us lunch and you are going to eat.” She patted your bundled up shoulder and got into your face to glare at you. This request was not optional at this point. You owed her big. She placed a bottle of water on the nightstand and you saw her eye your phone lighting up.

“Fine. Give me a minute?” You didn’t sound very convincing. “I promise.”

Marlene left you some clothes to borrow while you were there. An oversized long sleeve shirt and some sweatpants. Comfortable.

Marlene had lunch fixed for you both and slid over a hot cup of coffee as you approached the kitchen table. 

She was being far too kind to you. On the way home you remember little beyond the haze of being drunk and your breakdown. You remember sobbing and telling her you didn’t want to be alone. She ended up bringing you back to her place in town and babysat you through the night.

You were grateful to have made a friend in her and her kindness was the light guiding you through the turmoil. 

You manage a few bites from your sandwich out of consideration but don’t touch your coffee. The awkward silence is broken after a few moments, you knew the conversation was coming.

“So…” She pauses and then just comes out with it. “You and Joel, huh?” She attempts to drop the topic casually and friendly.

“Not anymore.” You feel your eyes well up again. Tears from anger, sadness and heartbreak. A trifecta of emotions that you don’t recall ever feeling before. Everything about Joel was intense and had been from the moment you met him. 

You realize that since meeting him it had all been mostly bottled up inside you. Except for some vague chatter at work, your life with Joel was mostly a secret. Something you kept private because you were shy about being judged for falling for a man so much older than you.  

You tell her everything. 

“Babe, he isn’t worth the tears.” she said so confidently, like she had so much knowledge about him that you didn’t know. 

“I had no idea about Tess.” The words spill out. “I just assumed it was only me. I would have never… How stupid-”

“Joel is an asshole” she cuts you off. Her tone is getting more heated as she gets frustrated that you are blaming yourself for anything in all of this. “What he did was wrong.” Marlene tried her best to keep her judgements to herself, but she always had been very outspoken. You knew she would be an open book if you would just ask. She seemed to harbor some resentment that was starting to slip out.

“How long have they.. You know. Been together?” you choke on the words.

“As long as I’ve known them.” she catches the way you react and takes a step back to explain. “They used to be close. Really close. Over the years they have grown apart. I think nowadays they just fuck around with each other when they are feeling lonely.” 

Your heart is in your throat and you want to throw up. You go to speak but can’t find the words, only more tears. 

“Sorry. I mean, you should know this.”

She's right, you should know this, and Joel should be the one telling you. You think back to how he was so quick to push you away at the bar and wanted to talk later. You knew something was up and he wasn’t ready for you to find out. Even if you never really defined anything between you both, he led you on. He used you. 

“Tess isn’t a saint either.” She interrupts you as if she can hear your thoughts. “This has been a long time coming. They are both toxic.” 

You wanted to know what she meant by that, but your mind couldn’t get past his wrongdoings. From where you sat last night, it looked like Tess was caught off guard by him too. 

You felt sick to your stomach the moment you realized you were the other woman. Tess didn’t deserve that.  

The tears were flowing again. You drag the back of your hand across your face to quickly wipe them away. 

“You deserve better.” She reassures you.

Do you, though? You wonder. 

You never had the best luck with men. The way Joel made you feel was not something you would be able to replace or move on from easily. He awoke something inside you that you needed to feed. He had a darkness that you were drawn to. A sexual energy that you never sought out before. It was so perfectly hidden behind some neighborly deeds and a tired man’s body.       

“Despite it all, and I know how stupid this sounds. How stupid this is. I still… can’t stop thinking about him.” You confess out loud. 

You were not a stupid person by any stretch, but you were feeling blinded by how he had been making you feel up until last night. Even after you confronted him, before you really learnt what was going on, you still felt like he was doing this for you. He wasn’t acting like the same person, but you could feel the Joel you knew was still there inside him. Like the face he was putting on was for everyone else, but your Joel was waiting in the wings.

When he had you alone by the bathrooms you could feel how much he wanted you. See how much hurt there was in his eyes when you were crying. He told you it wasn’t about you and you really wanted to believe that was true.

When he held your face in his hand and wiped your tears you knew that whatever was going on, his feelings for you were not something to question. He wanted you on a primal level and you wanted him to take what he needed from you. 

You weren’t in a formal relationship with him. You never had that talk with him. You never asked if there was anyone else. These thoughts were creeping in and making you feel stupid and partially responsible. Your conscience was desperately looking for any excuse to help Joel’s case. 

Marlene rolls her eyes. “Joel is nothing but bad news. Look at what he already did to you. Forget him.” 

Easier said than done, you think to yourself. The truth is that up until his performance he had been the first guy in your life that made you feel truly desired. It couldn’t have felt so real if it wasn’t true.

He needed you, but you also needed him.   

“Marlene…” You pause, trepidation in your tone. “I was falling for him. I think I was in l-”

“Stop.” She cuts you off. “You liked his… handsome charm, don’t confuse it for something more.” An annoyance peaks in her voice. 

You had fallen for people before and had relationships based purely on lust and attraction, but this was not it. It was something so unique that you couldn’t even put into words or feelings. A high that he gave you that you had to chase because you needed that next fix so badly. 

“And…” She pauses before cautiously saying more. “He is old enough to be your dad. Come on, this wasn’t going anywhere!” She was trying to make you see the obvious things without sounding too critical. 

You actually liked that he was older. It was so attractive if not a little bit taboo which just made it that much more exciting. He was worn on the edges but he was so confident and capable with everything he did. Not to mention no one had pleasured you like Joel Miller. You were absolutely smitten by everything he gave to you. He made you insatiable for him in every way. 

You brushed off her comments about his age. It was something you loved about him. Something that turned you on that you didn’t feel like defending.

Still, by all counts she was right. You knew the right thing to do would be to move on with your life, without Joel. 

“I’m sure whatever you had was fun, but that is all it was ever going to be.” Her matter of fact way of stating things helped to make the reality hit a little less hard. 

Maybe the reason it felt so good with Joel is because you wanted it to be something more than it was. The pit in your stomach reminds you of its presence and how this whole ordeal makes you feel sick.

There is a long silence between the two of you, and she no doubt can tell how heavy the words are hitting you. She finishes her coffee and clears the table, taking away your hardly touched plate. 

You sit with your thoughts for a moment before joining her at the kitchen sink. You hand her your mostly full coffee mug to pour in the basin.

The elephant in the room is getting too big to ignore.

It didn’t matter how you felt or what you wanted when there was someone else involved.

“What am I going to do now?” You ask her with teary eyes and a meek voice.

“I know Tess pretty well, and she can be scornful. I don’t think she knows about you and Joel, and you should keep it that way.” 

You feel yourself disassociated and want to just disappear. Go back to your Boston life and pretend you never met Joel Miller. Find a new job.  A new place to live and start fresh, again. 

“I like you, and I think you got put in a real shitty situation.” That was an understatement. “I’m not going to say anything to her, ok?” 

You nod, and believe her words.

“You are done with Joel, right?” She looks at you for confirmation. “Right?”

“Yeah. Of course.” You look away from her as you answer and the tears flow again. You weren’t sure if you were lying to her or lying to yourself, but you knew it wasn’t truthful. Whatever path you carved out next would be wrong if it wasn’t leading away from Joel.  

“Then cry as much as you need to now and put this behind you.”

She brings you in for a comforting hug and you sob into her shoulder.   

The worst part of it all is that you still have feelings for him.

—

JOEL POV - The Night Before

As he walked towards the stage to play, he was a wreck inside. Looking calm and composed was just a facade. He was nervous enough to be playing tonight with his carefully thought out song, but now knowing you may very well still be around was tipping him over the edge. There was no turning back at this point and he had to stay the course. He had to get this off his chest and had to wash his hands of Tess. Whatever comes next he would have to take it as it comes. 

The thought of hurting you in any way made him sick. 

Taking his seat he was grateful for the bright lights on him, making the audience look like anonymous shadows. At least in his mind he could pretend it was a room of nobodies. He never was one to have stage fright. He was a talented enough musician and most of the audience was drunk. He didn’t care what they thought anyways.  

He drags his hand along the neck of the guitar, feeling the strings under his calloused fingertips. Taking in a deep breath he adjusts the guitar in his lap. The light reflects off his watch and the shiny, polished wood of his instrument. The stage feels lonely as the room silences with all eyes on him.    

He strums his guitar and flexes his hand to loosen up. There is no turning back now and this is something he has to do. 

“This one’s…. for Tess.” his voice shakes as the words leave his mouth. 

This moment the only thing that mattered was that she heard this. He never was one with words or talking about his feelings, but he always had been able to lean on music when it mattered. It was the only time he truly let himself be vulnerable.  

As he started playing, he blocked out everything around him. His mind was just filled with the memories of Tess. What he loved. What he wanted. What he never got and never will. What he would always mourn but no longer desire. His time with her was over for him. He could feel his heart aching as he sang, but also getting lighter, not realizing how heavy this all was weighing on him for such a long time until he was letting it go.

As the song progressed it felt cathartic. Letting some of his anger slip into his tone and fade out into the ether, taking along his frustrations. Confronting all the feelings he had been holding in for so long. The sadness he felt was mourning, and he knew it would only get better now that he was moving on. He had already been mourning her loss for a long time without truly acknowledging it. Until now.       

Living in the memory

   Of a love that never was

He was feeling bolder and confident that his decision to be done with Tess was the right one. It didn’t erase their history or make her impact on his life any less significant. What they had was special and always would be. It didn’t have to overstay like it was in order to preserve that history. It was time to move on and stop feeding the resentment that was overtaking everything left that was good.

He would always love her for their history and she had to know so that she could move on too before the damage between them was too great. He knew she would understand and accept it; in time. 

Then you crept back into his mind. Finally he was giving himself permission to allow it to, properly. 

You filled in all that empty space that was vacant for just mere moments. Another realization that he wasn’t giving everything to you and how much he wanted to. He had been indulging in your companionship with trepidation. Reluctant to open himself up and fearful that it would be another road to nowhere. 

Afraid you might not want him and his darkness that came along once you really knew him. 

His eyes were finally adjusted to the lights just enough to make out the details in the shadows in front of him. 

He couldn’t help himself to look up and scan the audience, searching for you passively. Deep down, he knew you were still out there. He could sense that unexplainable feeling when someone is watching you intently. It made his heart race as he struggled to fight the distraction and finish his song. 

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and make you mine

And I think I'm gonna love you

As if by instinct, he zeroed in on you standing towards the back of the room with tears in your eyes. An invisible rope tethering you together against the odds in the sea of shadows. 

When he caught your eyes he had to look away in shame. Disgusted with himself that you were collateral damage in his situationship. He choked on his final words, and they came out low and shaky.  

For a long, long time.

He strummed the last chords of his song and fought back the feeling in his throat that was bubbling up. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and the weight of his actions was crushing him. The silence in the room filled him with dread and it felt like time was standing still, like he was in front of everyone naked with his emotions raw and exposed before them. His chest was tight, bursting with an anxious heart beating rapidly with heavy thuds.  

A conflicting wave of emotions tears through him and it takes everything not to lose his composure. He takes the deepest breath, closes his eyes and it isn’t Tess that comes to mind. 

It’s you. 

With his final strum of the guitar it felt like he was releasing himself from Tess. Free after so long and fighting so hard for their relationship. Free to bring his full attention to where his heart was calling him.

Finally the room erupts in applause and he feels the tiniest pang of relief wash over him and snaps him back to reality. He sneaks off the stage and makes his way towards the back. He needed to hold you and tell you how sorry he was and at this point he didn’t care who saw him.

Familiar faces and acquaintances slapped him on the back and boasted to him about how great he did and the gauntlet of drunken patrons slows him down significantly. When he manages to break away and gets eyes on where you were standing you are nowhere to be found. 

A hand grabs his sleeve and he turns but his heart sinks when it’s Tess.

“Joel..” she whines through a shaky voice and pulls him to look at her.

He didn’t want to be cruel to her or disregard whatever feelings she was going through but he also didn’t feel obligated to her anymore. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel like he was on her leash. He was done putting her first.  

“Tess, not now.” His voice was low and gentle. He really did feel for her out of habit, but he also knew he couldn’t let her try to reconcile. Not yet, anyways. He was open and hopeful to remain friends with her, but she needed to get over him first. He knew her reaction would be anger until she had time to cool off. 

“Really? After that you are going to ice me out? What the hell, Joel?” Her anger was increasing with every sound leaving her lips. The last thing he wanted was a blow up with her and he wasn’t going to let her control this narrative any longer. 

“Stop it.” He unintentionally uses his size to intimidate her as he steps closer. Silencing her as the remaining empathy leaves his eyes. He was never confrontational with Tess, and this was something new that she did not expect or know how to react to.   

A few nosy people nearby get quiet as they try to watch the drama unfold in front of them and pretend to be minding their own business. Joel takes a step back from Tess and furrows his brow.  

“I told you. I’m moving on. We’re done now.” He says firmly and sharply points his finger towards her. The tears in her eyes almost make him soften, but he holds firm. “Done.” He reiterates through gritted teeth.

He hated being so cold, but he had to or else nothing would change.  

Tess bites her lip and for the first time has no words. She was so used to being the boss and calling the shots and for the most part Joel let her. Not this time. She wipes the wetness that starts to fall from her eyes and walks off, angry and hurt.

“What are you looking at?” He snaps at the prying eyes watching him be a total asshole and then proceeds to walk towards the exit to continue his search. He was quickly running out of fucks to give by this point in the evening.

The bar was starting to clear out a little now that the live entertainment was done for the night. He doesn’t see you and starts to worry you left without allowing him a chance to explain himself. 

Truthfully, he didn’t know what he was going to say, but he knew he needed to see you. To apologize at the minimum and beg you to hear him out. There was so much you didn’t know that he needed to tell you.

He collects his guitar, dons his jacket and makes his way outside. There is a gentle snow falling and a coating on the cars and walkway. Footprints heavily littering the path into the parking lot and fanning out. It would be a fool's errand to pick out your prints or your car under the blanket of winter. 

He makes his way to his truck, and carelessly brushes off his windshield with his sleeve. 

He pulls out his phone and calls you, but it goes unanswered and to your mailbox. He sends you a text.

Joel: Im so sorry baby

Joel: Please can we talk? 

He leans on his truck, ignoring the cold and tries to call you again. And again. The relentless ringing is only silenced by the robotic voice of the generic voice mail operator.

After the 3rd call he left a message.

“Please answer the phone baby girl. I know I don’t deserve it, but I need to talk to you. Please.” His message was delivered with a low, calm tone, barely masking that he was afraid. 

Afraid he lost you.  

—

READER POV - Saturday Afternoon

Marlene dropped you off at the bar to pick up your car. No one was around this time of day and it felt surreal being back at the scene of the crime, so to speak. She gave you a hug and just nodded to you as you left. Urging you to believe you would be ok, and you had to move on. 

When you got home you didn’t even dare look to see if Joel was home. You went inside, took a shower and wrapped up in a blanket to watch TV on your couch.

Whatever was on you didn’t really pay attention. Your mind was just filled with Joel. You wanted to wake up from this bad dream. 

You had been vulnerable with him. You were ready to give yourself to him so quickly because you craved that intimacy only he could give. He worshipped your body and made you feel something you never felt before. 

Was that enough? Surely not to a self respecting person. It makes you feel sick to be so hesitant to do the obviously right thing.  

You so badly wanted him, and knew you couldn’t just let him treat you this way. You felt guilty about still wanting to give him a chance.

You finally gave in to looking at your phone. 

You had 34 unread messages from Joel. 9 missed calls and 3 voicemails. You fought the urge to see what he had to say and instead gave notice to your other missed calls. Your mother. She had tried to call you 3 times. You had barely talked to her this past week and didn’t really want to but you also knew she would worry if you continued to ignore her. You were afraid she might also reach out to her precious neighbor too if you gave her any reason to panic. It didn’t take much with her. 

You called your mom, lied that you were sick with the flu and that you just wanted to sleep. She didn’t make you talk long thankfully and she didn’t say anything about her handyman neighbor.

The night was getting late and you mustered up enough energy to move into your bedroom. 

Seeing Joel’s flannel shirt laying at the foot of your bed hit you hard. You had been so happy and flirty just a few nights before and you wanted that back. It felt like it was taken from you unfairly.

You hugged the shirt to your chest and breathed in his masculine scent that still lingered. The scent that drove you wild with desire.  

How were you going to get over this man who made you such a mess?

You tossed the shirt into your dirty clothes pile and got into bed, lamenting how cold and empty it was and wishing you were wrapped up in Joel’s navy blue sheets and stealing his heat. Feeling his heartbeat against your cheek as he holds you close. The ghost of his touch on your skin makes you tear up again. 

Fuck you Joel Miller. You mumble out loud to yourself. It wasn’t fair.   

You lay there for what felt like hours, your mind firing on all cylinders with no hope of slowing down. 

Curiosity won in the end, and you opened up the text thread with Joel. You scanned it quickly and saw a recurring theme of him asking if you were ok, apologizing and worried that you were not home.  

Joel: Please just tell me you are safe

Joel: I’ll leave you alone just let me know

Joel: Where are you? 

Those were texts from the morning. After your car was back home and signs of life his messages were back to apologizing and what you can only imagine to be a descent of drunken texts from this evening.

Joel: I’m so sorry

Joel: We need to talk

Joel: Please n

Joel: I m fucknig srry

Joel: Just let m tel you and ill stpo

Joel: /

Joel: I ned to talk to you

You wanted to talk to him. You needed some clarity, but you also didn’t want to be tricked into forgiving him because of your body betraying your mind. There was a nagging you could not shake that his actions at the bar didn’t undo the way he made you feel. There had to be more to it or else it would be so easy to wash your hands of him and never turn back. 

You started typing a reply and deleting until finally settling on just leaving him on read. 

You listened to his first voicemail, and hearing the pain in his voice made your heart break more. He was worried about you and he sounded like he was doing his best to be composed, but you could see through it. That southern drawl makes you melt when you hear him call you baby girl.

You slammed your phone down and regretted giving in to his attempts. It only made it harder to be mad at him.  

As you drifted off to sleep with tears leaving wet stripes on your cheeks you decided that tomorrow you would go see Joel. You would go in person and get a true gauge of where things stand. You would also try to do the right thing.    

—

JOEL POV - Saturday Night

Midday and he was worried about you. Not only were you not answering him or reading his messages, but you also had not been home. Of course you were an adult and clearly could do whatever you wanted, but he felt entirely responsible for whatever you were up to. 

He paced to his bedroom window, looking out through the blinds to see the same snow covered drive. Untouched. He was getting restless.  

He flips through your messages and can’t help but look at the pics you sent him during your bedtime photoshoot.

He could feel himself harden and palmed himself through his denim to get some relief. It felt wrong, but he couldn’t control the way his body reacted to you. He unzips his jeans to let his cock breathe as he takes a seat in the living room. 

Scrolling through the photos you sent and seeing more and more of your body made him swell. The pressure in his groin became too much to handle with a casual touch. 

Fuck he mumbles under his breath. 

He spreads his legs wider and slides a hand inside his boxers to stroke himself, imagining it was you and your gentle hands wrapped around his shaft. 

The guilt of what he did weighed heavy on his mind but didn’t hinder him from getting aroused. He needed to have you again. Feel your tight pussy gripping him and listen to your sweet moans. 

It eats away at him. It was wrong to get off to you especially after what he had done to you. 

But it didn’t stop him.

Settling on the second picture you sent, he focuses on how deranged and needy you looked. Hungry for his cock. Your breasts were perfectly in view and still partially clad in his shirt. His scent was all over you in that moment. You were his.  

His labored strokes quicken as he fucks into his fist and he comes with a stifled groan. 

Sitting alone with his release dripping over his knuckles made him feel like a dirty old man. Getting off to a woman that didn’t want him anymore.   

He woke later that evening, awkwardly slumped against the arm of his chair. The house was completely dark except for some embers from his wood stove about to give it’s last breath. He was groggy and sore. His neck ached from the awkward position. 

After getting his wits about him, he opened his phone to see you still had not replied. He stumbled over to his window and to his relief your car was parked in the yard. 

At least you were home. You were safe. Clearly you did not want to talk to him yet. 

He wanders off to his kitchen to pour himself a stiff drink and downs it way too fast before taking a shower and drinking again and again. 

As the whiskey clouds his mind and fills him with nothing but remorse for what he did, he sloppily sends you some desperate texts before passing out for the night.

—

READER POV - Sunday

The Sunday afternoon energy was heavy. You had been avoiding Joel in every possible way since Friday night. The exception being your moment of weakness and reading his texts. Instead you buried yourself in a book trying to focus your mind on another world with characters struggling with simpler problems.

The time spent alone had given you some peace to think about what your next move was going to be, but you were still battling with what to do.

If you were not so smitten with him it would be so easy to just walk away. You never questioned his character before and now it’s all you can do. Weighing the damage he did with what you had come to know about him before was not an easy task. It also made you question your own character. What kind of a person would it make you be to continue on with this? Maybe you battled with failed relationships all your life because you never found the one to balance who you really are. Maybe you are just hopelessly lusting over Joel Miller and telling yourself anything that can make it feel ok. 

Your anger and hurt was stinging less and making you feel more numb than anything. Marlene’s words of advice were lingering in the front of your mind constantly. You felt guilty for entertaining the idea of talking to him and even more guilty for settling on actually doing it. 

Looking out your front window you see his truck parked in his driveway. No fresh tire tracks and covered in snow. You had not seen any signs of life since you returned home other than some smoke from his chimney and a light or two.

The text messages from him did still trickle in at a slower pace, but you continued to ignore them. Wiping the notification off your lock screen.

Marlene also texted you periodically to check in and you assured her you were doing just fine and would be ok. 

You made an impulsive decision to go over now before you changed your mind again, not sure what you were going to say or do, but you couldn’t ignore him forever. The more you thought about what your gameplan was the more you started to talk yourself out of it.  

You freshened up in the bathroom, applying some light makeup to mask the bags under your eyes and hide the fact that you have been crying for days. You knew deep down you also just wanted to look really good for him. You wanted to spite him and make him want you but not let him have you as some sort of punishment. At least that is what you told yourself.     

You bundled up in your boots and winter jacket. Wrapped a scarf around you and put on some mittens and a hat. Your hair falling loosely around your face. You looked cute but completely covered up. 

The sun was just starting to set, but there was still plenty of light left to venture outside.

You wandered over to your mailbox and picked up the scent of burning wood. A smoky, campfire smell. It smelled inviting. You heard a chopping sound coming from the direction of Joel’s house and guessed he was outside working. Typical Joel behavior to be outdoors. 

As you make your way to his house the campfire smell intensifies and you see some smoke coming from the side of his house. There is a footpath going from his driveway and you decide to follow it to the sound.

As you round the corner, the sight is enough to make you forgive all his wrongs.

Joel’s back was to you and his silhouette is bright and familiar. You could recognize his figure in a lineup with ease. Broad and commanding.  

The frame of his body was muscular but not bulky. Toned from his manual labor lifestyle. His broad shoulders and tapered waist were perfectly illuminated by the burning fire next to him.  

He was dressed in some dirty jeans that hugged him perfectly and heavy work boots. His torso clad in a rustic, plaid flannel not too different from the one you stole. The sleeves are pushed up and bunched on his forearms and his hands protected with leather gloves. 

You see his jacket discarded on a pile of chopped wood and a small brush pile burning next to him, keeping him unnecessarily warm. It looked like he had more than enough body heat radiating off him. Uncomfortably toasty.  

The area between his shoulder blades was damp and dark with sweat. The curls in his hair were an unruly mess, especially where they met the hot perspiration on his neck. 

Seeing Joel in lumberjack mode unlocked something inside you that you didn’t even know existed. He was so primal in his ability to handle whatever task was at hand. Just as he had been when intimate with you. He could take you away and live off the grid someplace in the wilderness and you wouldn’t bat an eye. He was more than capable of taking care of all your needs.  

You feel it deep inside you. That intense heat building that only Joel can make you feel. An arousal coiling up inside you and ready to burst out if given the chance.   

He turns to place a section of wood in front of him and makes a grunt sound as he lifts it into place. No doubt it was heavy and judging by his pile, and the sweat on his body, he had been at this for a while. His outstretched arm had his flannel tightly choking his bicep as he moved to adjust the log in front of him. It was obscene to see his body flex and demonstrate his strength. The desire to have his arms on you in this moment and feel the full force of his body against you.

He picks up the axe and throttles it down again with a grunt, wood splintering in front of him as the force from his axe splits the wood into two.

He is nearly panting from the exertion, moving the split wood over to the pile only to repeat it all over again. He pulls his shirt up to wipe his brow. The hard ridges of his muscles taunt you as they shine in the light of the fire. As he wipes his sweat and pauses for the briefest moment to rest against his axe you decide to make your presence known before he realizes you are watching him.

“Hey Joel” you announce softly.

He is startled by you and turns quickly, letting his shirt fall back over his stomach. His expression softens when he meets your eyes. He tosses the axe next to him and pulls off his gloves as he steps towards you. 

The heat of his body and his smoky scent hit you all at once as he stands just in front of you, unsure if he should touch you or not.  He hesitates but you can see the desire in his eyes to touch you. 

“Sweetheart, I’m–” he pauses, and rakes his hand through his hair. “I’m so glad to see you. Lord knows I don’t deserve it.” He gives a side smirk and his best attempt at looking innocent. It almost works.

He steps towards you but you reluctantly hold your hand up. He ignores it and pushes his chest into your palm. His innocence was replaced with cunning intentions. His damp and hot chest sending a wave of desire through you, making you even more wet. You were certain he could sense it too despite your attempts to act put together.  

Before you can protest he has his hands on your waist. His fingers wrapping around you and positioned to pull you in close. His needy energy is not something you have seen before. Not like this. Assertive but stepping over a line you put out. 

“Joel, stop.” You weakly protest and take a step back from him. His hands slide off your hip as you step away and you can see some panic in his eyes that he misread what this was. 

He could clearly see how mixed you were feeling. He was letting his raw desire take the lead and hoped it would help sway you to give in to him and soften your resolve. Whether it was wrong or right, he knew that sexual tension you both had was not going silently.

He also knew that he cared about you more than just as a hookup. Truthfully you had made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was so scared to lose you before he even got to properly have you. His fear was making him act stupid and desperate and he didn’t know how to reign it back. Especially with you being just within your reach. He was tailspinning.      

“I’m sorry, baby.” He pauses. “I should have told you about her. It’s not what it looks like. I mean, it is complicated and–”

You swallow back your feelings and look him straight in the eyes. How much more cliche could he get?  

“It’s too late for that now,” you countered, realizing that confronting this now was not something you were ready for after all. 

Joel chewed his lip, wiping his hand on his chin as he fought back the urge to unleash some of his anger that he had been harboring. Anger he had towards himself that needed to escape. He was getting agitated.

He knew you were right, but he knew he couldn’t just let you go. He lets out a deep breath as he pinches between his brows, releasing a little tension as he exhales and composes his next words carefully.

“I want you to… need you to know I never did anything with her while I was with you.” His words come out desperate, pleading with you to understand. To forgive him even. 

You weren’t sure if you believed that. You couldn’t exactly trust him anymore now that the trust had been broken.     

“I swear it. There is a lot you don’t know about Tess and-”

Hearing her name on his lips is the last straw and it enrages you, reminding you that you are not here for second chances and apologies. You are here to tell him to leave you alone.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” You declare coldly and emotionless. 

Joel stares, he looks like he wants to speak but he isn’t sure what to say. He isn’t sure he heard you right, or didn’t want to believe that he did. 

You go to turn but he grabs your sleeve and holds you to face him.

“Please, I need to… don’t go.” He stumbles over his words, grabbing you harder than he meant to, desperate to make you stay.  

“You hurt me.” The tears start to fall again as you speak your truth to him. You look him straight in the eyes so he can see your pain from what he did. There was no misreading your tears. 

“I know. Never meant for you to get hurt. I can explain-” He panics, realizing you are leaving him and his chance is fleeting.

You struggle to pull your arm away but he isn’t listening and just brings you closer with his strength. He was blind to your obvious demands to stop. Clouded by his panic.  

“I owe you an explanation. Let me-” His eyes penetrate into you, begging you to look at him. 

“It's too late.” You cut him off. “Lose my number.” Your words bite. 

You pull your arm away sharply and continue to walk away. You feel him staring at you and you swear he can hear your heart beating out of your chest. It took every ounce of restraint to hold firm with what you set out to do. You were not going to let him talk you into changing your mind.

With tears welling up in your eye you continue walking forward. You hear him begging you to stop and listen to him. 

“Sweetheart, please.” he calls out after you. Pleading with you but you put more distance between him and his words as they get quieter.

Under his breath, Joel whispers “I’m sorry.” When your pace quickens and you don’t look back you swear you can hear him speak those words again and again, but you keep walking. 

To be continued...

A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T | N O T I F I C A T I O N S

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[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Can you please do this „I just want to be someones first choice“ with ves x reader but ves says this? Ik it‘ll destroy me but I live for pain.

ALSO happy ending please (PLEASE) 😭

First choice

It was so hard for him to genuinely trust again. Every time things were going well Vessel still heard sirens from previous relationships that had ended in disaster. But that didn’t stop him from longing. And longing he did. Constantly catching himself wanting more but just as quickly killing the flame blazing.

But he saw it. Saw it in the smallest of things. Your eyes when you looked at him. Vessel was sure there was so much more there. More than when you looked at others. In your smile. The exciting clapping as you waited for them to get off the stage. The way you would squeeze his hand. Both in a reassuring manner and excitement. Vessel craved these moments. Craved the comfort and ease it brought him. But it terrified him too. More than anything. Because he knew that he had failed to keep his guard up.

“Your tea and I know you said no biscuits but… I still stole some”, you chuckled as you walked into the back room where Vessel had been sitting hiding the whole day. “Your favorite”, you wiggled the packet, before settling it in front of him. Your smile fell once his face didn’t change. “Hey, you haven’t been yourself”, softly reaching out you placed your hand on his shoulder. “Could you close the door”, his voice was so quiet, ripping your heart to shreds as you quickly stood up moving to do just what he had asked you to. “You can tell me”, you reassured him, “I’m good with holding secrets. iii has opened a confessional with me”, You chuckled hoping to lighten the mood but failing miserably once more. “It… you’ll think that I’m insane”, Vessel sighed shaking his head.

“Vess, you could tell me that you have a body there and I wouldn’t ask a question, just go looking for a shovel”, you pointed out, “Nothing you tell me will make me think any different of you”. He turned to you then, his blue eyes piercing you. “Why… why are you like this with me?”, he asked softly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”, you frowned, “You’ve shown me nothing but love and care. The least I could do is meet you with the same amount of affection”, you shrugged, “Plus, you’re special. I’ve told you that before”.

There was always this unspoken softness between you two. It felt like love in silence. From him holding the door open for you. Or making sure that you crossed the road safely. To you always making sure that he always had everything he needed before the show. Or never failing to check on him throughout the day. “You make my head go silent”, he muttered, “It sounds insane but… there are so many things there and you just make it go away”, Vessel lets his head hang down with a sigh. “That makes me happy”, you mutter pushing your finger beneath his chin, “I feel safe with you too”, you smile down at him.

“I want to be someone’s first choice but I’m bad at these things”, he admits and you can hear that raw pain there. All of it. “You are. Have been my number one for a while”, you admitted feeling your heart skip a beat as you watched realization slowly sinking in. “I didn’t want to come at you full force, I know that you’ve been hurt before and…”, “You genuinely want this”, Vessel pointed at himself in disbelief. “Why did you say it like that?”, you frowned, “I want you, the way that you are. All parts of you are beautiful, Vess”, you cupped his face and looked at him. He nodded slowly. “Can you just��� hold me for a bit?”, he asked as if embarrassed. “Anything you want, darling”, you brushed your finger over his cheek before stepping closer. His arms instantly wrapped around his torso as he pressed his face into your stomach. Breathing you in. Grounding himself as you softly plaid with his hair just letting him be.