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anangelwhodidntfall · 1 year

Note

Okay- I'm sorry if I'm being annoying by sending another one of these (if I am being annoying you can just ignore this lmao) but I've had this idea in the back of my head ever since I started reading Jake x daughter!reader fics. It's basically a fic where y/n comes out to Jake as a lesbian (because I would literally die for supportive dad!jake) and here's my idea

So what if Y/n is a teenager and she's never been really one to have crushes and when she did they were short lived so when Y/n befriends a Na'vi boy her age her siblings tease her about having a 'crush' on him and as Y/n is still navigating her own feelings and what kind of reactions she could get if she told anyone so she pretends to like the boy until Jake finds about it and is a stereotypical overprotective dad. And when he goes to talk to Y/n about it he notices she's directly avoiding his gaze but won't tell him what's wrong and it just wrecks Jake with worry until eventually she spits it out

A/N: In this story let's pretend that Z-dog isn't a recom or a bad guy but instead the really cool bi aunt that y/n could go to about this stuff.

A/N: Also you aren't annoying, I love writing Dad!Jake

Girls: Dad!Jake Sully

You made your way to the lab to find your aunt Z-dog in hopes that she could answer some of the questions that you had. See lately well more so since you started developing crushes you noticed that boys never seemed to do it for you, only girls seemed to spark your interest and that confused you a bit.

"Hey, kiddo! What brings you by?" Your aunt asked as you stepped inside her room.

"I have some questions that I was hoping you could answer for me if you don't mind." You said nervously.

"I'm sure your parents could answer them but what kind of questions?" She asked you as you regathered your thoughts.

"Romantic ones....like how you knew you were bi-sexual?" You asked her as realization hit her as to why you were coming to her.

"Okay, I know for me, that I felt an attraction to both males and females....but I also know that some people can just be lesbian as well where they are only attracted to females and feel nothing towards a man which is okay too, it's all about personal preference really." She said as you nodded taking in her words.

"Is there a reason you are asking me this?" She asked concerned.

"I think I may be lesbian. I'm not sure because I can develop a crush on a guy but it never lasts..." You said to her.

"Sounds like you are confused....don't tell your dad this but you honestly need to kiss a girl to find out that's what did it for me. Have you ever kissed anyone before?" She asked you.

"I have...it was a boy but I didn't like it too much." You said as she laughed.

"Yeah kiss a girl and see how much that changes." She said as you looked at her.

"What about my parents?" You asked her nervous about how they would react to you potentially being lesbian.

"Let's figure out your feelings first and then we will deal with your parents...but I can already tell you that they are gonna love just the same if not more." She said squeezing your hand.

"Thank you Aunt Z-dog." You said hugging her.

"No problem kiddo, figure out your feelings first and then worry about everything else...and just know I'm here for you." She said as you thanked her.

A few days later you and your friend Peì'll were out relaxing in ya'lls pasture, you sat by a tree listening as she talked but all you could focus on was how pretty she was especially when the sun hit her skin.

"What's on your mind y/n?" She asked taking a seat in front of you snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Nothing." You said giving her a small smile.

"Well, there's something I've been wanting to try if you're okay with it." She said as you looked at her confused but still nodded her head.

She slowly leaned her head towards you as her eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips as you did the same really hoping this wasn't some fever dream. You slowly felt her lips press against yours as you reminded yourself to kiss her back.

"That was better than I imagined." You both said making each laugh.

"Y/n I'm lesbian...and I've always found you attractive..." She said lacing her hands with yours.

"Thank you for telling me that....but I need to be honest with you...I must tell you that I'm confused about what I am." You said looking down.

"That's okay...we can take this slowly until you figure out your feelings." She said squeezing your hands.

A few weeks later you two had fully moved into a semi-relationship that was pretty private while you figure out how you would tell your parents more specifically your dad who you worried you would let down by turning out this way. Peì'll was sick today so you were spending the day hanging with her cousin Nau, which was nice and he told you that he wouldn't tell anyone about you and her as he walked you home.

"Oooohhhh looks like sis has a new crush!" Lo'ak said as he watched you and Nau laugh about something.

"Wonder how long this one will last this time." Neteyam said joining Lo'ak at the entrance of the hut so he could also spy on your Nau.

"Boys leave your sister alone." Your mom said making them groan as they left the entrance of the hut just as you walked in.

"Evening everyone." You said setting your stuff down and join your family at the dinner table.

"So sis, whose the boy you were talking to?" Lo'ak asked you as Jake whipped his head towards you upon hearing those words.

"Who Nau? That's Peì'll cousin, we just hung out today since she was sick." You said shrugging your shoulders.

"Is he a new crush?" Lo'ak said as Jake angrily ate his food watching you for an answer.

You panicked as your brother asked that question...you were in love with Peì'll but you weren't ready to tell your dad quiet yet so you did the one thing you could do and say you had a crush on Nau which was far from the truth.

"Yes, I do." You said as you felt the daggers your dad was shooting you.

The next few days Jake noticed that whenever Nau was brought up, you would sigh and seem irritated that they were talking about it and even he felt like you didn't actually have a crush on this boy if you did you had a weird way of showing it.

"Hey baby girl, let's go for a walk." Your dad said that night after dinner.

"Okay." You said following him out of yall's hut and you guys just talked about your days for a bit until he brought it up.

"Does this Nau kid treat you well? Because you can tell me if he isn't." He said watching you.

"Yeah, he does." You said.

"Do you see a future with him? Because if you do, you need to have a very serious talk." He said watching as you looked at the ground.

"No." You said quietly.

"No? Then why did you say you have a crush on him, angel?" Your dad asked kneeling so that he was at eye level with you.

"Because I like girls and I was afraid of your reaction by telling you how I really felt." You said quietly as awaited your dad's reaction.

Jake was shocked but not really because now everything made sense... he felt dumb for not noticing sooner...you always had a distaste for boys growing up.

"Oh, angel. Something like that couldn't stop me from loving you but thank you for telling me." He said wrapping his arms around you.

"So you not mad at me or disappointed in me?" You asked quietly.

"No, I'm not..never could be for something like this...I love you no matter who you love as long as they treat you right." He said looking at you.

"I love you to Dad, thank you." You said hugging him again as he smiled.

"So is there a special girl you have your eye on?" He asked making you groan.

"Well me and Peì'll are kinda seeing each other..." You said nervously as you two walked home.

"Peì'll? Wait you two got her cousin to cover for you two?!" He said making you laugh.

"Yeah, we did." You said laughing as he shook his head at you in disbelief.

A few days later after coming out to your dad and finally telling Peì'll the good news, you decided to bring her over for dinner and properly introduce her to everyone.

"Dad, Mom and annoying siblings this is my best friend and girlfriend Peì'll. You said re-introducing her to everyone watching with a laugh as your siblings looked shocked.

"But I thought her and Nau?" Lo'ak said making you guys laugh.

"No sorry Peì'll is the one for me." You said as she wrapped her arms around your shoulders pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Ha! Looks like you are doing my chores for a month! I knew she didn't like Nau." Neteyam said as he walked over to where you two were.

"Peì'll you hurt my sister and we have problems." Neteyam said not sure how he would get her back if she did end up hurting you since she was a girl.

"Peì'll my child, welcome. And you my beautiful daughter thank you for finally introducing us to the real source of your happiness." Your mom said hugging you both.

"You should be thanking dad, he was the one who gave me the courage to do it." you said as your dad squeezed your hand in reassurance.

#dad!jakesully #dad!jake #dad!jake sully x reader #dad!jake x daughter!reader #mom!neytiri x reader #sully family x reader #sully!reader

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retroellie · 4 years

Text

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk

Word Count: 1.8k

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming.

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.”

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to

-You would sleep over at her place a lot

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way so she was distant

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman”

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.”

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.”

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.”

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more

-Soft kisses and 80s movies

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones so she’s always on top of you

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.”

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it

-”What happened?’

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake, Letting her sob into your shirt

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day

-The nights were the worst

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out

-”I saw him. All the blood..”

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.”

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time

-Sex with her back then was great but sex with her now was so much better

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that you were getting a bit lonely

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.”

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her, she was really thankful for that

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.”

-”You think so?”

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you

!Credits to gif owner!

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us x reader #Ellie Williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou ellie

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infested-tea · 3 years

Text

Bakusquad LGBT Headcanons

Whoops... haven’t posted in a while... whoops.

Anyway, for this I decided some Bakusquad gay hc. And maybe some shipping lmao. Now, BakuKiri is valid but I prefer TodoBaku. But both are great. For this imma go with TodoBaku and KiriDenki because preference. Also, if anyone starts fighting about ships in comments I’m coming for you toes.

Anyway, enjoy!

Katsuki Bakugo

This boy....

Oh god this boy

Three syllables

DISASTER

Oh yeah he’s gay

Gay disaster

Very angrily a disaster

Bakugo strikes me as a tsundere. As he does for everybody

But combined with his... tendencies...

He becomes a walking balm of internalized gay anger

He fears being outed because homophobia is fun

But since all of Class 1-A knows, they just don’t say anything

Only openly out to the Bakusquad, and Todoroki

Like I said, dating Todoroki

Or Kirishima depending on how I feel

Either way, he is a clingy, angry tsundere with both

Will avidly defend his friends and himself or anyone from any kind of bigotry

Very... passionate... lgbt supporter

May or may not have cried the night he came out to the bakusquad. Both before and after. And may or may not have been happy tears.

Also the kind of person who screams at you to die while absolutely showering you in love and trying to make you feel like the most valid person ever. But does it in his usual Bakugo tsundere way.

He has hit everyone in the Bakusquad and his boyfriend with their respective flags while shouting vaguely threatening words of love and validation at them. This has happened to everyone at least once. Todoroki, Jirou, and Denki are the most common victims.

Also. Trans Bakugo deserves rights

When it comes to being trans, Bakugo has no issue with it

Neither do his parents

But like with him being a filthy gay degen- *gets exploded* OW!!

Anyway, like him with his homosmexualness, he’s scared to come out about it

Mind you, his parents are also avid supporters for the gay community

But he himself has seen and heard things and it scares him

As well as those morons in middle school who he came out too (not willingly) but teased him about it and made stupid comments, they didn’t hate him but were more so ignorant

Has experienced actual hatred before, especially middle school (maybe projected on Midoriya a little...)

But, this boy was so relieved when he came out to his friends and especially Todoroki

Maybe the human population isn’t so bad after all, huh you angry ball of rainbows and anger

Also. Ace bb

Eijirou Kirishima

The resident sunshine shark puppy

He flips between functional and disaster depending on the day

Is extremely open about him being pan, since it’s the manliest thing to do

And he is the manliest

He is also avid supporter and defender of the lgbt

Since Kirishima is the other backbone of the Bakusquad, he’s great for when ya need some comfort

This baby boi just wants to be loved and will love you back tenfold

Best hugger in class 1-a fight me

Broken gaydar

Denki Kaminari

(This was the first gif... y’all really horny huh?)

The biggest bi disaster

Also chaotic

Unintentionally chaotic

Like, he goes in with intentions of chaos, then somehow it ends up being worse then it should’ve been

Goddamnit Denki, is now Bakugo’s favorite phrase

Best gay friends with Sero and Mina

Absolutely falls hard

Sure, he’s a flirt, but that’s just Denki being Denki

He’s so much worse when he falls in love

Not a flirt. No no. Absolute blushing mess

Bf do be Kiri tho

(Why is he the person I have the most ships with like damn...)

His gaydar is absolutely fucking broken. Like my god you could be Aoyama levels of obvious and it’d go straight over his head

Gaydar is so bad he usually ends up flirting with lesbians or already taken people

He never touches a dude because he doesn’t want people thinking he’s already weirder than he is

Bad social anxiety, so he stayed quiet about being bi

Than Sero asked... he denied it

It failed

Now he’s out and semi-proud

Does have sad days where he feels anxious and albeit ashamed

But he’s with the two biggest cuddlers with Sero and Kiri so it’s fine

Or if you want to be saucy, soft boy Shinso or Ojiro

Hanta Sero

This dumbass

Non-binary (he/they) demisexual biromantic boi

Since I hc as the most observant person (emotionally anyways) his gaydar is by far the strongest

He picked up on fucking Todoroki... that man looks straighter than his dad is sucks

Also the one who picks up the crushes before the people even do

Motherfucker could tell you who’s gonna end up with who before they even realize that they like each other

*cough* Bakugo and Todoroki *cough cough*

Poly relationship with Denki and Kiri. Fight me

Mina Ashido

Best girl

Ace lesbian

Makes a great chaotic couple with Mei Hatsume

Chaotic lesbian and she knows it

She is also disaster

Bad kind of disaster

She uh... once tried to bake a pride cake for pride month and nearly burned down the entire dorm

Denki was also there... that didn’t help

Also the resident shipper of Bakusquad and Class 1-A (alongside Hagakure and Ochako)

She absolutely got 8/10 couples together in 1-A... and also 1-B

ShinoMa anyone?

Absolutely has tricked Denki multiple times to wear dresses

Doesn’t have to trick Sero, he just does it

Adores Mei and is soft about it

Kyouka Jirou

Badass bi anyone?

Bisexual disaster

But very quietly dies unlike the other three on here

She can try and smooth it over and play it off

Doesn’t work all the time

Trans female

And I love her

Gay with Yaomomo

Hangs out with Sero and Bakugo a lot as trans squad and they end up laughing at the four other dumbasses they have sadly befriended

The head of the Bakusquad, especially at pride

Absolutely fucking listens to Against Me! and Jayne County and whatever other trans musician you can think of

Absolutely vibing with Sero while listen to Girl in Red, Cavetown, or the other two

And jams with Bakugo and Denki with those as well

On bad, dysphoric days, the squad bakes all her favorite foods, grab her girlfriend, and hang out and chill

Some general pride month headcanons

Like I’ve mentioned, vibing with Cavetown and Girl in Red

Also jamming with Jayne County and Laura Jayne Grace and whomever else Jirou found that week

At pride, Kirishima is at the bbq with Tetsutetsu (they have rainbow gay meat come on!)

Bakugo is trying to stop Todoroki from wondering off and getting lost, especially at first pride parade since it was his first time and Shoto is absolute dumbass

One year while still going to UA, Shoto and Denki picked up on an anxious Momo and sad Jirou and Sero just... announced how gay they were for each other.

Later that month, the two girls got together due to a party thrown just for them put together by Sero, Shoto, Denki, and Mina

It’s a tradition to watch whatever the gayest show out at the time is and finish it before the month is over as a group

SU is Denki and Kiri’s favorite.

Bakugo hates it cuz the diamonds piss him off

Soooooo, they have to stop halfway through the gay wedding episode

Todoroki joins in on the shows because he has nothing better to do (but really it’s because he’s lonely and craves affection... bb)

Also, when Bakugo came out. Sero won a bet with Mina. Not on him not being gay. But Mina thought he was bi.

Mina was wrong

And now it’s a tradition for Sero to make bets with the other squad members on who’s what shade of gay and then win because he’s right 100% of the time (and Bakugo just started betting WITH Sero because he got tired of losing. Denki and Mina do not give up however. And Kiri switches sides a lot.)

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

#lbaf

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tsukidrama · 3 years

Note

i’m glad you could have your weekend off! i hope you had some rest :)

i’m really happy we agree so much on yelena! but also thank you for making me discover her more it’s been really interesting to talk about her!

same for zeke, season 4 managed to make me forget about what he did to erwin but it still happened and i never thought i’d cry for a man until he died. i was very sad but also kinda mad for feeling so devastated about a man lmao.

i’ve seen more lara tybur works lately, even a nsfw alphabet and honestly she DESERVES, if you ever write for her again i’ll gladly read it!!

i (re)read some of your annie fics today and she really is one of the best aot characters, i can’t believe i didn’t care about her at first. i thought she was so cold (partly because of the dub version of my country) and before knowing more about her and how marley works i really was mad at her for killing all these people but context is very important in her story. anyways i read your post rumbling headcanons and it’s so SOFT, annie really deserves it after everything she had to go through, especially since she thought she was gonna die at a really young age, she can fully enjoy her life now. i am also a big supporter of lesbian annie, i don’t like her with men and annie x armin makes me uncomfortable for some reason, people ship it because armin kept visiting her when she was in her crystal but it was him being obsessed while she couldn’t do anything and i don’t really see how it’s supposed to be romantic? so yeah i really don’t like that ship but if i have to be honest i don’t really like either of armin, eren or mikasa. all the side characters are so great and so interesting that the main ones can seem boring at times.

i’ve also read the great hair massacre of 857 and please it was so sweet and funny!! the whole conversation was already funny but then “There you go saying that gay shit again…” actually made me laugh out loud askljldfijdf. the dialogue in this fic was really great, it seemed so natural!! i really love seeing that side of annie, thank you for blessing us with that content! she was so in character too, the reference to her relationship with her dad was subtle but very welcomed, her tearing up after saying “i left” made my heart clench, her relationship with her father is very complex and you wrote it well!

after reading i got curious and wanted to see annie with actual bangs (apart from that flashback we got in season 4) and i couldn’t find anything, i really wish i could draw rn. oh and both the headcanons and the fic being in canon made me so happy too!! i know i’ve already said it but it’s so rare reading aot stuff in canon i really cherish canon fics when i find them! (that being said, I absolutely love your AUs, i guess i’m just a big fan of your writing!!)

annie kinda feels underrated sometimes which is weird because she seems present in a lot of fics and fanart but she doesn’t seem to have that many fans? especially compared to some others. she 100% deserves more love.

-j

you're so sweet 🥺 thank you. i've been a bit sick lately (chronic illness so nothing out of the ordinary unfortunately) so i'm definitely getting lots of rest!

of course! like i said it is ALWAYS my pleasure to spread the love for yelena. i told you i could make you like her 👀 i didn't even mean to get into her as much as i have but she's so interesting and hot. i'm glad you leaded up liking her!

I WILL NEVER FORGET AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE! i cry about Erwin on a regular basis. i've always felt really strongly about his character and i feel his loss all the time in the final arcs of the story, every time hanji and levi are without him 💔 if there's any man worth making an exception for it's Erwin, that man chugs his respect women juice.

oh fuck yeah! good, it definitely is what she deserves. now i'm gonna go scour the lara tybur tag...

pppffft i was in the opposite situation - i loved her before i knew shit about her character and then felt like a traitor when i pieced together who she was and what she had done.... not sure when you got into snk but i watched season 1 the year it came out and kept up with it so i've really felt every cliffhanger in my bones. i started reading the manga after season 2 aired. my point is that i loved her through Annie all along with her flaws from the beginning, and i've never thought she was "good" per se but it's also obvious that she's affected by what she's done. i always figured there was more to her story than we knew; her reactions, the way she cries over the dead, and the fact that she gives up on her mission that's literally her purpose in life all indicate remorse beyond just regretting being caught. even way back in the day i was like: SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS!! IM TELLING YOU! my brother would constantly be telling me to shut up slksajdfkj but in the end i was right! i just didn't realize that pretty much ALL of the warriors didn't want to be doing what they did, or how complex it all was. she really does deserve a peaceful life being able to do what she wants. i used to cry about her having to die at age 24 a lot, so the ending taking away the titan curse is just about the only part of the ending i vibe with.

yep, same. i absolutely despise that ship-that-must-not-be-named, in my opinion it's a disgrace for both of their characters, but especially hers. it's really creepy, i agree. i don't blame Annie, being in a crystal with only annoying ass people talking to you for 4 years just left her a little confused. armin is gay anyway, i literally just block ppl who post about the ship. i love Mikasa but the other two i agree are pretty crap characters overall.

heheh well there are the manga caps from 139 but it'll be a while before we have her bangs animated. i'm actually so proud of how the great hair massacre turned out, it was such a sweet and goofy story that shows the lighter part of Annie's personality. eee thank you as always and i'm especially happy you mentioned the dialogue! and how it felt natural, that's such a reassuring compliment ❤ and for the bit about her dad. i feel like i'm the only person who likes him alkjdfalksjd i know he's an asshole and he messed up bad but he does really care about Annie and he's important to her therefore her is important to me. can u tell that i have parents-in-law?

i agree! a lot of people seem to either have the attitude of "o yea she's pretty cool i guess" or the full on EVIL MALICIOUS BITCH!! SHE KILLED LEVI SQUAD REMEMBER THE YOYO! i will eternally point out the hypocrisy - Reiner and Zeke do just as bad and worse as she does but the fandom doesn't hate on them. whatever, i'm happy in my bubble over here!

#one time i got hate from an a/ru/an/i shipper telling me to go fuck myself with my faggot fantasies or something like that #and i was like hmm sounds nice will do. and tbh it is i highly recommend coming over here and joining me #j anon #tsuki answers #annie-isms #long post

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simphibians · 4 years

Photo

this is my submission for @dagdagsims beguiling the heirs bachelor challenge (?) this is admittedly WAY more than i’ve done for any sim i’ve made.. ever LMAO but once i got started i couldn’t stop so .... enjoy my sim babies, under the cut is a massive “interview” i made so @dagdagsims could get a better feel how they present themselves

Camping or Binge Watching Shows at Home?

Ashlyn: watching shows at home all the way,,, well it would depend on where and how we were camping, would it be camping or glamping? and the weather? If it was nice.. maybe, but if it was humid? gag no huge pass then

Fin: watching shows, I do not have time for all those bugs, ugh I’m getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it

Coffee Cup or Thermos?

Ash: Thermos I’m on the go far too much for that.

Fin: coffee cup, for me thermos just leave this... metallic taste? if I need to take my coffee I use a reusable cup rather than a thermos, because I’m not too worried about temp control, I only drink it iced

. Soup or Sandwich?

Ash: weather dependant

Fin: Yeah, very weather dependant, I will not eat a deli sandwich when it’s snowing out, now am I?

While walking: Music or Podcasts?

Ash: music all the way, I would get too distracted in podcasts.

Fin: podcasts, I think I would end up dancing rather than walking if I had music

At a movie: Candy or Popcorn?

Ash: Popcorn,,, oooo the possibilities are endless. Plus, who said you couldn’t add candy TO the popcorn ;)

Fin: ... Ash.. you.. astonish me sometimes.. also neither, I don’t care all that much for snacky foods, I’m a health junkie in its sorts

Tablet or Computer?

Ash: neither. my phone

Fin: depends on my workload, if I have loads to do I feel more productive on my computer as I’m almost,, locked? to a certain area, because my tablet I can go anywhere, so I find myself distracted

Toilet paper: over or under?

Both at the same time: under.

Working Alone or Working in a Team?

Ash: team for sure, it’s no fun doing things alone

Fin: I don’t connect to people in the same way Ashlyn does, but it would be impossible to run my nonprofit alone.

Okay! Just a last few more serious questions and we’ll send you on your way, how’s that sound?

Ash: Let’s do it

Fin: ha.. ha sure!

What drew you to meeting Atticus and Imogen?

Ash: oh! easy! my PR manager brought up the show to me and I was making fun of it but Fin here dared me to join! but now the more I read about Imogen the more I get this little pang of excitement, I love meeting new people and I make my living off of traveling and doing just that, so I’m just excited to travel, meet a beautiful woman, and whatever comes out of it, comes out of it. y’know?

Fin, crazy blushing mess: I.. well.. *clears throat* Ash showed me the flyer for the production and me being me thought nothing of it besides daring her to join, I forgot who I was talking to and my brain clicked as hers lit and I realized at that point she was going to give me puppy dog eyes until I followed with her. So here I am, not as cute as her story, I’m... a little nervous? I feel like this thing is out of my comfort zone, but first and foremost I would do almost anything for ash, and... I will not lie... Atticus... mmm.. let’s just leave it there if ya get me

What’s something you want to learn or wish you were better at?

Ash:.. hm... I wish I was better at slowing down and taking things in the moment, I’m always on the go, and while that brings me nice opportunities and I’m not ungrateful for the experiences I get to take part in but I find myself in situations where I’m not living in the moment or for myself but for others and sometimes I wish I could just... I don’t know disappear into the selvadorian jungles for a moment, go off-grid and recoup, okay now that I’m thinking maybe not the jungle, bugs, humidity, hmm nope. maybe I’m destined to be a cottage core lesbian? eh? *laughs*

Fin: I feel like wanting to learn or be better at things is just a normal human experience, like... what’s life if you’re not addressing things and adapting to the surrounding changes? so I just wish I had a more natural ability to adapt as changes are anxiety-inducing but I realize things change for a reason.. so perhaps I wish I was better at accepting change, and god an instrument I want to learn an instrument, we have a piano at our house that ash drug in from god knows where but I’m TERRIFIED to touch it!!! I’m inept to musical abilities, trust me, you don’t want to be around when I’m singing in the shower might lose the ability to process a decibel or two after that!

Alright, guys! Just one last question, what are some personality quirks you’d like the producer and show team know about yourself that hasn’t been touched on?

Ash: uh... To be honest, I can adapt to everything? I like an enjoyable challenge; I’m not shy, I’m an open person, but besides that, I feel confident in how I’ve expressed myself.

Fin: nope! I think we’re wonderful; we got it all, gay dads, trans, queer, deaf, oh vegetarian I am very vegetarian, meat .... animal meat, grosses me out I can’t, I used to as a kid but god I don’t miss it, yuck the blood, I despise it! But other than that, I too feel hopeful in my character representation, so... that’s it?

That’s it, guys! Thank you so much for your participation, I’m excited for you guys to meet the twins, it’ll be exciting to see how this blossoms, or fails? Who knows?!

#idk what to tag this #ts4 #dagdagsims #submission #??#dk bro

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Note

Hey dude! Do you have any recommendations for LGBTQ+ movies in the romance genre that have like a happy ending. I really don't care how old they are. I'm feeling the Gay™ hence I need the Gay™. You feel me?

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NONNIE

First sorry for taking so long, not only did I have to timeline this :) but :) my computer :) froze :) after writing like :) 2 pages :) and I had to do it again :)

So anyway let it be said, the LGBT dialogue is one of osmosis and shared growth and awareness. Some of these films will be very poorly dated, but as you (thankfully) mentioned that them being old wasn’t a *problem*, expect a lot of old stuff. Because one of the most important things to have under your belt when talking about the LGBT media representation battle is the actual journey from A to B – be that incrementalization, subtextual inclusion, text-breeching features, outright evocative and groundbreaking films at the time (which is what MOST of this list will be) and an improvement in our dialogue; let us never forget that while tr*nss*xual is considered a slur and transgender is proper, tr*nss*xual was at one point the politically correct way to speak it – things like that breach in our growing understanding of the spectrum of human sexuality.

I *WILL* disclaimer these aren’t all romance, so if you explicitly want romance, google them and take a look if it sounds to appeal, but I’m taking this as a general cinema history plug considering what a confused mess fandom conversation about LGBT history in film or modern text as applicable, accepted or not.

Wonder Bar (1936) (I wouldn’t really call this queer cinema, but if you have the time to watch it too, I think it was the first explicit mention of homosexual engagement even if it was fleetingly brief. You might even call it Last Call style. A blink and you’ll miss it plug that was still decades ahead of its time)

Sylvia Scarlet (1936) (Again, I wouldn’t call this queer cinema, but a lot of the community takes it as the first potential trans representation on TV due to the lead literally swapping gender presentation, even if the presentation is… not what we would modernly call representation IMO)

Un Chant d'Amour (1950) (Worth it for the sheer fact that it pissed off fundies so bad they took it all the way to the US supreme court to get it declared obscene.)

The Children’s Hour (1961) (also known as the 1961 lesson to “don’t be a gossipy, outting bitch”)

Victim (1961) (The first english film to use the word “homosexual” and to focus explicitly on gay sexuality. People might look on it disdainfully from modern lenses, but it really helped progress british understanding of homosexuality)

Scorpio Rising (1964) (Lmao this one deadass got taken to court when it pissed people off and California had to rule that it didn’t count as obscene bc it had social value, worth it for the history if nothing else)

Theorem (1968) (Because who doesn’t wanna watch a 60s flick about a bisexual angel, modern issues and associations be damned)

The Killing of Sister George (1968) (by the makers of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane)

Midnight Cowboy (1969) (…have I had sassy contagonists in RP make a Dean joke off of this more than once, maybe)

Fellini-Satyricon (1969) (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS)

The Boys in the Band (1970) (This… this… this made a lot of fuss. Just remember leather)

Pink Narcissus (1971) (a labor of love shot on someone’s personal camera)

Death in Venice (1971) (This is basically a T&S prequel but whatever, based on a much older book)

Cabaret (1972)

Pink Flamingos (1972) (SHIT’S WILD)

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (1972) (The title doesn’t lie, be warned)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) [god I hope you’ve at least seen this]

Fox and His Friends (1975) (some really hard lessons that are still viable today, that just because someone acknowledges your sexuality doesn’t mean they give a shit about you as a person, and that some will even abuse the knowledge for gain)

The Terence Davies Trilogy (1983) (REALLY interesting history look it up, it’s sort of one of those “drawn from own experience” story short sets)

The Times of Harvey Milk (1984) (Documentary)

Desert Hearts (1985) (Pretty much the first film to put lesbianism into a good light as a true focus based on a novel from the sixties)

Parting Glances (1986) (the only film its creator got out before his death from the aids epidemic)

Law of Desire (1987) (two men and a trans woman in a love triangle, kinda ahead of its time)

Maurice (1987) (This one’s really interesting, cuz it was based on a book made about 15 years before it, but the book itself had been written half a century earlier and wasn’t published until after the guy died, he just thought it’d never get published Cuz Gay, so basically it’s based on a story written in like, the 20s finally getting screen time. It has a bittersweet but positive-leaning-ish ending without disregarding the cost that can come with it and even addresses class issues at the same time 100% DO RECOMMEND)

Tongues Untied (1989) (a documentary to give voices to LGBT black men)

Longtime Companion (1990) (This one’s title alone is history, based on a NYT phrasing for how they talked about people’s partners dying, eg longtime companion, during the AIDS epidemic)

Paris Is Burning (1990) (Drag culture and related sexual and gender identity exploration as it intersected with class issues and other privileges explored in a documentary)

The Crying Game (1992)( I should correct this that I guess it’s more, 1992 considered, “SURPRISE, DIL HAS A DILL!” – I guess I really didn’t do that summary justice by modern language and dialogue as much as how people in the 90s were talking about that and that’s a my bad. LIKE. SEE, EVEN I CAN FUCK UP MY LANGUAGE I’M SORRY CAN I BLAME THE STRAIGHTS T_T) #90skidproblems – I guess I should call it a trans film. And this alone tells me I should go watch it again to recode it in my brain modernly rather than like circa de la 2000 understanding.

The Bird Cage (1996) (So you mix drag culture, otherwise heterosexually connected lovebirds, and then realize the girl comes from an alt-rightish house and the guy comes from a Two Dads Home and does cabaret, how to deal with the issues OF this conflict when it’s between you and your happiness, even if the fight isn’t even your own as much as it is that of the person you love. The answer is PROBABLY NOT to dress in drag and pretend to be straight, but what are you going to do? – while played for laughs we’d consider modernly crude, the fact that they even dared to approach this narrative was pretty loud)

The Celluloid Closet (1996) (Ever heard of the Vito Russo test for LGBT representation? This is based on a book by Vito Russo.)

Happy Together (1997) (Ain’t this shit an ironic name; a mutual narrative, via chinese flick, of hong kong ceding to china and an irrevocably tangled MLM pairing as a giant mirrored metaphor)

Boys Don’t Cry (1999) (one of the most groundbreaking films about trans identity at the time)

Stranger Inside (2001) (As easy as it is to recoil to the idea of “black gays in jail”, the film makers actually went and consulted prisoners and put a great deal of focus into intersectional african american issues that really weren’t around even in straight films at the time)

Transamerica (2005) (While it made a bit of a fuss for not casting an actual trans actor, it was one of the first times a big budget studio really tried to tackle it which really pushed us forward)

Call Me by Your Name (2017) (since I’ve apparently leaned really heavy old cinema throw in a modern one lmaooooo)

Also honorable The Kids Are All Right (2010) mention for the sake of the fucking title alone.

And to any incarnation of “On the Road” by Kerouac, which

Was originally a book

Released a sanitized de-gayed edition because of the times

Later released the full homo manuscript

had a few film adaptations

Was one of Kripke’s founding inspirations for Supernatural once he left behind “Some reporter guy chases stories” and took the formula of Sal and Dean (and tbh later, Carlo) in a beat generation vibe gone modern as we know it today.

Reading both versions of this can actually help some folks currently understand that when you get confused over some shit (WHY IS CARLO SO UPSET? WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE AN UPSET GIRLFRIEND??? WHY IS HE SO JEALOUS AND SAD WHEN DEAN IS AROUND GIRLS???? WE JUST DONT KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW) it’s because some big money asshat bleached the content, and sometimes, it takes a while for the full script to come out and again, surprise, it’s been GAY, they just didn’t want to OFFEND anybody. *jazz hands*

Now if you wanna go WAY WAY BACK, during 191X years, a bunch of gender role flicks came out like Charley’s Aunt, Mabel’s Blunder and the Florida Enchantment.

Also where is @thecoffeebrain-blog to yell about the necessity of watching Oz, for the next few hours? But no, seriously, just look into the entire LGBT *HISTORY* of Oz.

Beyond that though I’m gonna stop here cuz hi that’s a lot. I really don’t know how much counts as “happy ending” but if I had to give an LGBT cinema rec list, that’s it as a sum. I don’t really have like, a big portfolio of UWU HAPPY ENDING GAYS because 1. there aren’t a lot of those but 2. to me, it’s not about the ending, it’s about the journey. Be that in flick or through culture and history itself.

If you want more happy ending stuff, you definitely have to look at 2010+, but it’s not like we’re in a rich and fertile landscape yet so honestly just googling that would probably serve you better since I don’t explicitly explore romance genre or happy endings to really have a collection. LGBT life is hard and film often reflects that if we’re making genuine statements about it and really representing it, and we’re just now getting to a point of reliably having the chance at a happy ending. That or maybe someone can add like “Explicit happy endings” lists after this that has more experience in that subgenre.

Also, I can’t emphasize ENOUGH to remember what was progressive then is not what is progressive now, and frankly, what some people think is progressive now they’ll probably look back on what they said and feel really fuckin’ embarrassed. See: “It’s not text because by alt right homophobic dialogue, M/M sex isn’t gay if you do the secret handshake” MGTOW kinda crazy ass dialogue or parallel narratives they inspire that encourage self-closeting and denial based on the pure idea that being gay makes you somehow lesser, so It’s Not That. Like. I am. 99% sure. At least half of the people talking in this fandom. Are going to regret that the internet is forever. And maybe hope hosting servers end in the inevitable nuclear war that will annihilate this planet.

Also, edit: Speaking of mistaken dialogues and words aging poorly, I’d like to apologize from the poor description I rendered “The Crying Game” with, but that really goes to show how deep-seated the issue is we can so casually fuck up identifying a trans narrative as SURPRISE DICK IS GAY when we were all absorbing the content like 20+ years ago and HOW HARD it can be to de-code yourself from that kind of programming because here I am, writing a giant assed rep post and fucking it up because my brain hadn’t soaked that movie since Y2K. Guess what, time for me to go watch the Crying Game again.

#lgbtqia #representation #media #cinema history

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edeneben · 5 years

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My Coming Out Story

⚠️//TRIGGER WARNINGS: Homophobia, Sexual Assault, rape, depression, self hatred, and suicide//⚠️

If you know me, you know I’m pretty flamboyant and pretty open about how the fact I’m pretty flipping queer. But I haven’t always been very happy being like this, as most other queer people also aren’t and this is basically the story of how I accepted that.

Second grade; the point and time in most people’s lives that is mainly a blur of silly bands, crayons, and story books. For me personally, it was the start of absolute hell.

So I was raised in a pretty religious family. I would end up praying before every meal, before I go to sleep, and at least three times a week at church functions. So really early on I heard a lot of really gross and disgusting things. (Not to say all religious people are bad, it’s just I was raised in a conservative republican town were Friday nights are spent at youth group by most high schoolers) so by the age of seven or eight I heard the words “faggot” and “queers” thrown around a lot and the whole “All homos deserve to burn in Hell and be stoned.” Though, I did’t really understand the concept of being gay, or love in general.

So you could sarcastically say I was off to a great start.

In elementary school we would read these short stories in these obnoxiously massive books, and one of these stories was about a hedgehog or something baking a yellow cake. As a fun activity my teacher Mrs.Blair has us bake a cake in groups of four. We didn’t pick our groups, she just kind of shoved our desks together and said “have fun.”

In my group it was two boys, a girl, and me. The two boys were kind of annoying and I basically ignored them the whole time, but the girl was a different story. I noticed that she had short, messy light brown hair, very pretty greenish eyes, and a very cute smile. I took a liking to her pretty quickly and I started sitting with her at lunch instead of with my friends. I knew I really enjoyed being around her and that I thought she was the actual prettiest person I had ever seen. Though, I didn’t get why.

Then my friends started talking about boys and crushes. I couldn’t relate to anything they were saying before but after I met the girl, I did start to relate. But I related in a different way. Everything they said about the boys they liked were how I thought about her. Wanting to hold her hand and play house with her and crap. (We all know playing house together was the way to flirt back then)

So inevitably I was like, “Oh. Why am I the only one thinking about girls? Am I weird?” And then I kind of understood I was the bad thing they talked about in church all the time. I was the evil horrid thing that didn’t have a place in being there. Which, was a horrible thing to think about.

This was when self hatred really set in. Not only did I deal with that crushing reality, but my teenage brother also started arguing with my parents a lot and hearing the fights really hurt me mentally and I started crying myself to sleep.

I was eight. None of that stuff should have been a problem, though of course it was. *** Then in third grade I started praying a lot more and I joined an after school church club thing ran by my church.

Every time we would meet, Father Michael would ask those of us who haven’t been saved to go to the back of the room and pray with him to get saved. He kind of knew something was up when I went back there every single meeting, but he never asked. Probably for the best in all honesty.

Then I was like, “Yeah okay all of the praying has to be working by now and I’m totally not a homosexual now lmao.” Which, obviously not but I pretended to like guys anyways. (Ey Tyler waddup bud, yeah that was you. Jokes on both of us were both gay now love youuuu)

The day I told everybody I totally definitely liked him was the day before he moved away so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So. Yeah. *** Fourth grade was more of the same, just sadder tbh. Oh and I got another crush on a girl named Kayla I dated twice. Almost three but let’s not get into that. ( @kayla-le-queen ) *** Fifth grade was the first time I ever said I liked girls out loud. Though I kind of lied to myself and said “ha ha I like both.” Which I didn’t, but I had convinced myself that I was slightly ‘normal.’

It’s kind of a weird story as I had just been swimming with my other religious friend in their pool and I was like “oh by the way-“ Which, describes how awkward I am perfectly.

This is also the year I started making internet friends who had the same interests and experiences as me and I was sort of getting my footing with myself. *** Nothing prepared me for the absolute shit storm that was sixth grade.

Not only did I deal with hitting puberty, drama, a new school, and the surfacing of panic attacks, I had to deal with getting outed. Yep. Let’s get into it shall we?

Sixth grade. I came out as bi to a couple of my friends and stopped going to church. Only low key though. I wasn’t looking for my entire life to be flipped upside down. My parents were casually homophobic and my peers were actively expressing that.

Still, I decided to start dating someone.

Remember my friend who I came out to in the pool? Yeah, them. I dated them.

BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as we started dating, they told everyone. I told them “no one needs to know, we should keep it private you know? For safety.” They refused to listen.

By the end of the day everyone in my grade and even some upperclassmen knew that I was bi. Though the message got messed up and everyone thought I was a lesbian. (Which made me uncomfortable because I was still mfnsjsjjd about gender and stuff) (that’s a whole other coming out that I don’t want to get into in this as the whole thing is not anywhere near over)

Then the bullying for it started happening.

I was the first “out” kid in my grade so of course I was met with a bunch of crap.

Girls in locker rooms would yell at me for looking up at all, and there was one incident were a girl decided to come up to me, grope my chest and laugh about it with her friends because, “I was just a dirty lesbo pervert who probably enjoyed it.”

Guys would say repeatedly they could make me straight and also would do similar things to what that girl is.

Did I tell my parents? No of course I didn’t. I wasn’t out and I needed it to stay that way. My dad had anger issues and he had once hit my brother out of anger. So, I didn’t really feel completely safe to be quite honest. (It’s kind of better now. He still gets angry easy but he only had one more incident and that was years ago.)

I ended up breaking up with that person because I clearly couldn’t trust them and I was very upset with them. I still blame them. *** Then seventh grade happened. As per usual things got worse.

My parents found out about my internet friends and read all of our messages and I got outed to them.

Then my parents never trusted me again and took away the one good thing I had in my life that was consistently there for me and genuinely made me happy and feel safe.

Their homophobia also worsened. They also outed me to all of their friends and family. (Thanks mom)

I also attempted suicide for the first time. My parents and friends still don’t know about that. *** Eight grade was the worst year of my life. In eighth grade I kind of realized I was ace and came out to my friends and the girl I liked at the time.

I kind of blocked out homophobia at that point. Yes it was still happening to me and it had gotten worse, but eighth grade was a blur for me.

I can’t really remember much of it.

My English teacher who was a mother figure, Mrs.Freeze, who was the first adult to accept me, died during the last two weeks of school.

As well as an extremely traumatic event happened.

I might delete this part when I upload it but if I don’t I want you all to know that this is where I’m warning that sexual assault victims might want to click away at.

I decided to go on the Washington DC trip with my school and the girl I liked went with me.

By the time we got back to the hotel, I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours so I was asleep rather quickly.

It was four girls to a room, two to a bed. The two other girls left to hang out with their friends and it was just me left alone with the girl I liked and was out as ace to.

She took it upon herself to try to “fix” me.

I woke up while she was doing it and I eventually got her off me and escaped to the bathroom and cried.

I didn’t tell any adult on the trip and I just told a girl that I wasn’t comfortable around that girl anymore and thankfully she didn’t ask why and just switched seats on the bus with me and beds.

I still deal with trauma relating to this everyday, and I still have extreme panic attacks because of it. I lost physical trust with people for a while and I couldn’t be touched by anyone until recently.

This event also drove me to another suicide attempt.

That’s all I can say about that. Acephobia does exist and it can be extremely violent and damaging to people, so please just kindly shut up about ace discourse. *** During freshman year I was finally starting to be accepted by my parents, I came out as queer and ace officially, joined the GSA, met some more gays and life has been a bit better since then. *** My life isn’t perfect and homophobia is still a huge part of it and a lot of trauma surrounding my experience is still yet to be dealt with but I’m getting there. *** So my labels?

Queer and Ace-spec. That’s as specific as I can get I don’t know what you want from me lmao. *** Conclusion? Life does get better and eventually you will find acceptance and peace within yourself. I know you might be an extremely dark place with what looks like no chance of happiness or safety, but I promise you will get it eventually.

I love all of you and I wish you all the best in your own journeys.

Happy pride month.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

#pride

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Druck season 2, episode 1 reaction

we’re baaaaaack

I said I would finish my Skam S3 analyses before I caught up on the remake reactions, and I’m working on the one for 3.10 (the finale), but I also didn’t want to fall behind on another show. So here are some thoughts on Druck’s first week back!

Episode 1

Clip 1 - “Their tongues battled for dominance”

It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for, Druck has come back from the war. And our very first shot is an extreme closeup of some very tongue-oriented kissing, thanks for that.

Is it Matteo and a girl?

WAIT IS THAT KIKI AND ALEXANDER

HOLY SHIT

I definitely feel like Druck was playing with Skam fans’ expectations here. They know we’re expecting a kiss to open the season, but we’re expecting it to be Matteo and some girl, so Alex and Kiki throws us off. We’re also expecting Alex and Kiki to be completely over by now, not hooking up again - that changes the direction of the season, for sure.

I don’t know how much Mia’s issues will reflect Noora’s, but considering that Noora’s season opens with scandalous sex pics/media, and that it ties into not just what happens with Niko but Noora’s overall issues about sex that are threaded throughout the season, it’s kinda interesting to open with this sloppy kiss for Mia’s season, if she has similar hangups.

The lyrics of the song are on point:

You're a poison and I know that is the truth All my friends think you're vicious And they say you're suspicious

The other girls watch in horror and befuddlement, like the OG girl squad did with Isak. HI, GIRLS! Lovely to see you again. Sam is the only one who seems not entirely appalled by this coupling.

FUCK FUCK FUCK, Alex drives off in his car with Kiki. Kiki is so eager, staring at him with such wonder. It really makes you feel bad for her, when this dude was such a jerk to her previously! He apologized but he still acted like that! And now she’s back with him. Not great.

I guess this is an unpopular opinion, from what I can tell, but … I like Kiki. Not necessarily as a human being, I completely understand why people find her the least tolerable, meanest Vilde, but something about her character just feels real to me. Like this is a version of Vilde I completely buy as a person I’d meet in real life. Hell, she does remind me of people I’ve met in the past.

Lmao, the camera swivels between each girl, I guess to emphasize the confusion/bafflement in the group. Mia does not get what Kiki sees in him. Amira’s like, he’s hot. Sam’s like, what’s wrong, they’re finally together! Sam, my beautiful girl, they weren’t a sitcom couple. This wasn’t the will-they won’t-they flirtation of the century. They did, and it was a disaster.

Mia says they’re not a couple, Sam is like … but they spend every night together? This is kind of adorable coming from her, tbh.

Amira points out that Sam spends every night with her camel and Sam’s points out that they’re together! Lmao, I love this bit of continuity. Shout-out to Carmen!

Mia thinks Alex will drop Kiki once he finds another girl. Well, he probably will, it’ll just be Mia. Amira says, pfft, that’s all western relationships. Mia is like … do you want us all to become lesbians? Mia, there is a segment of your audience who would be completely OK with that.

Mia and Hanna air kiss and I know it’s not gonna happen but by God I wish it would. I’m so apprehensive about how they’ll handle Mia’s sexuality this season, with her smooching Hanna last season to get Axel off her back, but also her being bi via word of God.

Amira says she has to go to prayer. Mia asks whether Amira was just there? Amira says no and leaves. So maybe Amira is doing something else and keeping a secret from the girls? I guess one other possibility is that Mia (a non-Muslim) doesn’t realize how much Muslims are supposed to pray, but I think the first is more likely from a story perspective. Anyway, it’s small but I like little nods to Amira’s religion, things like her mentioning going to pray so it feels like it’s more integrated into her character.

Sam asks the girls to swing their legs and it’s super cute. It was also an IG story she made, so that’s a nice inclusion. It’s cool when they tie in the clips to actual social media posts (much like how Matteo posted a video of Hanna and Jonas last season that seemed to be taken within the clip itself).

People got seriously fucking mad with this clip, lmao, but honestly, it’s such a big departure from the original that I wasn’t pissed. There’s too much we need to know about how the Kiki/Alexander relationship will play out in the long run before I get angry at what’s happening.

In the credits after the clip, we see a pillow fight scene with the girls. I’m gonna guess that’s maybe a snippet from the Easter cabin episode (or whatever’s taking place of the cabin episode). I wonder if we also got a slumber party scene as a makeup for not getting the full girls’ sleepover in S1? It was just Mia and Kiki.

Clip 2 - Santa Claus is coming

Mia observes their toilet at home at German Kollektivet. It is gross. There’s pee all over the seat, what even looks like a curly hair??? I want to puke. I take it back, I’ll watch Kiki’s and Alex’s tongues for an hour if Druck never shows me anything like this toilet again.

Mia angrily stomps over to the bedroom of German Eskild (Hans) and bangs on the door. German Linn comes up to her, saying Hans has a visitor. Mia explains that Hans peed all over the toilet seat, Linn asks if she should clean it up. Mia says if they always do it for him, he’ll never learn. This is a small moment and not necessarily like, groundbreaking feminist commentary, but it’s why I have some faith in Druck for this season? Mia is adamantly against women cleaning up men’s messes (literally and certainly figuratively). I’m not saying she’s a perfect feminist, but she actually seems like a believable feminist teenage girl, with a lot of feminist principles that seem integrated into her life, which not all of the remakes have captured, imo.

Mia bangs on the door, Hans doesn’t open it, so eventually she does and of course Hans is getting his dick sucked. He’s wearing a Santa hat. There are so many directions you could take this joke that I can’t settle on anything, sorry.

I will say that I’m pretty sure there are multiple shitty Christmas slasher movies where the killer is driven to hack people up because they spied someone in a Santa costume having sex, and that scarred them for life or whatever, so Hans better watch his back. And clean up the toilet from now on.

Hans makes excuses for his wayward urine, Mia asks him to clean it up. Hans is like, tomorrow! Hans, people are probably going to use the toilet between now and tomorrow. It is not going to take you long to do the bare minimum and spray down some cleaner and then wipe it off.

Uhhhh the other dude who’s putting on his Santa jacket seems kinda cute. Good job, Hans? Except apparently the guy, Michi, is boring and talks too much about Trump, Nazis, refugees, etc. So bringing in those aspects of S2 a little early, which is nice and topical. (But lol @ Mia and Hans talking about how boring this guy is when the door is still open a crack.)

Mia asks why Hans meets with him then, and Hans says it’s because Mia is always in school and who knows what Linn is doing? He was lonely. And by lonely, let’s be real, he means horny. Something neither Mia nor Linn can satisfy for him.

Hans compares Michi to a boomerang: you throw him away but he always comes back. Mia is appalled by this. You all suck! Not “you all” as in gay people, “you all” as in men. Hans is like … well, you’ve got me there!

I liked that already, this scene ties into the plot thematically. Hans is basically doing the same as Alex, or at least what Mia thinks is happening with Alex. Hans is using Michi for hookups, Alex is using Kiki. Throwing her away, but like a boomerang, she comes back. Mia thinks what Amira said earlier about relationships is right. Guys are awful.

Hans didn’t make the best first impression here, with comparing Michi to a boomerang, and being dismissive of serious political issues, but I mean, this is only his first scene, and it’s not like Eskild’s first appearance revealed too much about him except that he thought Disney was a good fellatio soundtrack.

Clip 3 - Hello, Jotteo

Hanna and Mia walk to school. Mia says that her parents decided to go to Berlin without telling her, and they got into a fight. Her relationship with them is a nonstop cycle of arguing, basically. So Mia is going to do nothing for Christmas, basically, just stay at home and read - which sounds nice, personally, but also probably not that nice when it’s because you’re estranged from your family and have nowhere to go. Hanna is like, not on my watch! She invites Hanna to Christmas Eve with her and her dad. Yay, Hanna’s dad! I liked that guy, I hope we get to see him again.

Jonas and Matteo show up! Interesting because obviously Mia didn’t escape to Hanna’s yesterday to see Hanna and Jonas all snuggled up watching TV and talking about dating (like Noora did).

Hanna and Jonas seem a little awkward together. MY BABES. You still love each other!

Also, these are some fucking stoners, man. Are they high already? It’s like 8 in the morning. School hasn’t even started. They’re like, we have to go take a biology test! They’re laughing like this is the funniest shit ever.

Mia asks if Hanna has talked with him lately. Hanna is like, “Jonas?” at first, and I can’t wait to hear how that relationship is going (or not going) but Mia meant Matteo. Hanna has no idea how she’d bring up that they found porn on Matteos’ phone and that they think he’s crushing on Jonas. Mia is like, just drop in a subtle hint, like asking if he watches Queer Eye! Lmao, Mia, have you seen Matteo’s hair and wardrobe? Bless him, because I love this messy, perpetually stoned version of Isak, but if he’s watching Queer Eye he’s sure as fuck not taking inspiration from it.

Hanna says she and Matteo don’t have much contact lately, because of Jonas. It’s not working out just being friends and he doesn’t seem willing to give as much on his end. Mia asks if Jonas has a new girlfriend, Hanna says no, that they promised to tell each other when that happens. Something tells me that isn’t going to go so smoothly this season. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jonas gets a girlfriend but Hanna doesn’t hear about it from him. I mean, Eva didn’t hear about Jonas being with another girl straight from him, and they were on much better terms than Hanna and Jonas (superficially, at least).

Mia seems doubtful, too. I’m sure her current “Men are the worst” attitude isn’t making her more optimistic.

Clip 4 - Mia vs. Alex in class

Mia is in class. Kiki’s sitting next to her; Alexander is on the opposite side of the room; because he got held back, they’re in the same grade. Mia looks to him. I will note that Alexander does a kind of laugh to himself before he looks up, so maybe he sensed that Mia was scoping him out?

Mia, who is looking very pretty by the way, pulls up her shirt so it’s not baring her shoulders so much. I vastly appreciate that they did this part differently than in the original! In that one, William texts Noora that she looks good in the shirt, causing her to put on a jacket - it’s his direct advances and comment making her uncomfortable. In this scene, Alexander is just looking at her - which might make her uncomfortable but at least he wasn’t doing it in an overly lascivious way.

We also see him respond to that, and it’s hard to tell because he doesn’t avert his eyes totally or anything, but he doesn’t completely keep staring at her.

Like in Skam, their teacher is filmed below the neck, although this guy’s nipples aren’t the main attraction. Rather, it’s his festive reindeer sweater that draws the eye. (NGL, this gives me an idea for one of the S3 remakes where instead of checking out the female teacher’s boobs, the Isak is like … staring at his male teacher’s nips poking through a polo shirt or whatever.)

This is like a history/social studies class and the teacher has been talking about institutional oppression. He asks for comparisons between apartheid in South Africa and the Third Reich.

A girl is like, why can’t we talk about something relevant like Syria? Lmao, random girl, of course it’s important to talk about Syria, but what’s this insinuation that it’s not relevant to talk about past atrocities? This is part of why we study history, to draw comparisons between the past and present. Not to mention the repercussions of those periods are still felt today.

Mia and Alex’s argument about Israel being an apartheid state is more in line with how I think Noorhelm was meant to be, with the two of them having debates and William challenging Noora’s opinion. However, it never really worked for me because I felt these arguments leaned too heavily on not just like ... intellectual debate for the spirit of it, but Noora objecting to something William had done, and then William trying to argue why it was actually OK. There weren’t many debates about stuff unrelated to their relationship and William’s behavior, not much verbal and mental sparring for the pleasure of it. So maybe this isn’t an enjoyable debate, per se, but it’s at least a heated one between two parties with different strong POVs, on something besides trying to justify one’s own behavior.

When Alex quotes David Ben-Gurion, Mia says there’s a difference between a German saying that Israel is an apartheid state and an Israeli saying so. Alex is like, nah. Mia asks, so there’s no difference when I insult your sister and when you do? He seems to get a touch more serious and says while emotionally there’s a difference, practically there isn’t. No one should insult his sister.

People were reading very literally into this comment, that she’s aware of his sister, but I think she’s just presenting a hypothetical scenario as an analogy. It’s not that she actually knows he has/had a sister. It’s that her hypothetical scenario happens to have more baggage attached to it than she realizes. Assuming that Alex maybe has a dead sister, this is actually a very good moment! It makes sense why he’d get more emotional over her at this mention, like it struck a nerve even if it’s not what Mia really meant.

The teacher is like, thanks for your contribution, it totally misses the point! Lmao, between that comment and the reindeer sweater, I like this guy.

Behind Mia, Kiki seemed pretty into Alex’s talk, by the way.

As the class packs up, Mia says Alex is a dick, Kiki says he’s not and that Mia doesn’t even know him. He’s insecure and just wants his parents’ attention. Mia is like, lol, didn’t know he was sensitive and vulnerable. She says it like a joke, but Kiki takes it seriously and says it’s all a front.

Mia asks why Alex is repeating his grade, Kiki says he didn’t want to talk about it. INTERESTING. I know from a Doylist perspective, this is so they can keep Alex on the show rather than him graduating, but I really hope they integrate it into his characterization. But he also said it’s none of Kiki’s business so like, he’s still an asshole. Mia agrees with me. He doesn’t have to tell her but don’t be a shithead about it.

Alex accompanies Kiki out of the classroom and gives her his hand, but appears to shoot Mia a look as he leaves.

Clip 5 - Kiki’s a vegan

Mia rides her bike in the morning and passes Kiki on the street. They have class now, but Kiki still needs to go home and shower. Mia is surprised because they’re pretty far from Kiki’s house, meaning Kiki has to run even more. However, Kiki seems pleased about how much she’s run.

Mia invites Kiki to go shopping with her and Hanna, and Kiki wants to go somewhere with vegan croissants. Mia is surprised by Kiki suddenly being a vegan. Kiki explains that she saw a documentary - not about factory farming, but about how healthy it is. Although then she adds she thinks factory farming is bad when she sees Mia isn’t pleased - that’s a nice touch because Kiki seems like she thought Mia was judging her for not being politically aware enough, and that Mia’s going to go on an activist diatribe or something, when Mia is really concerned because of Kiki’s extreme workout and diet.

Mia clarifies that she thinks veganism is great, it’s just that Kiki is working out so much as well as becoming a vegan. She said they talked about it and Kiki needs to be careful about this stuff. Kiki says she doesn’t see the problem with eating healthy and doing sports.

I like that moment because it’s kind of toeing the line, like … well, what is wrong with working out and eating healthy? And Mia can’t quite object to that in itself. On the surface, Kiki is making it sound reasonable. It’s just that we know more is going on with her than simply adopting healthy lifestyle habits. She’s taking it way too far.

Clip 6 - Mia vs. Alex, take two

Mia sees Axel in school and confronts him, saying they need to talk. He doesn’t seem that into it. When she asks him what he’s doing with Kiki, he plays dumb, she tells him that she’s going to get her hopes up for something serious. Alex is all, define serious. He says that he’s hanging out with Kiki and no one else, so what else is he supposed to do, propose to her?

If he’s explained to Kiki that this is a FWB thing, then honestly, it’ll be on Kiki not to hope for something more serious. It’s certainly not the best course of action for him because of how he behaved last season, and he should know by now that Kiki will probably take it too seriously. However, if he’s made his stance clear to Kiki that this isn’t a serious relationship, then it’s on Kiki to listen to that.

I like that her posture seems more stiff and ramrod straight, and he’s leaning against the railing, relaxed. She’s on guard and trying to make a point to, he’s not threatened by what she’s saying.

He says “If I didn’t know you were a lesbian, I’d think you were jealous,” and arrrrgh. Best case scenario, this at least suggests he has been backing off Mia because he thinks she’s a lesbian and not approaching her, and he respects that. However, I don’t think he buys that she’s really a lesbian (and this is confirmed by the end of the episode) so it comes across like a taunt instead. “If I didn’t know you were a lesbian” is him being ironic because he doesn’t believe her.

Mia says if he hurts Kiki, she’ll kill him. She walks away and Alex seems more amused than anything. He better take her seriously, she’s seen Santa getting a blowjob so the desire to kill should be setting in any moment.

Clip 7 - Gym class

Mia and Hanna are in gym class. They’re on the bleachers. They are both faking having their periods because they hate volleyball and PE. I can respect the fuck out of that. Jonas is playing volleyball, and he and Hanna are having some awkward eye contact.

Hanna mentions that Kiki is a vegan now. She doesn’t get how one can go without meat, but Mia has more serious concerns about Kiki’s sudden veganism.

The girls talk about Alexander and whether he’s doing this thing with Kiki as a tactic to make Mia jealous. God, I hope not. I hope he legit thinks she’s unavailable and is trying to move on or something. Because even taking the end of the episode into consideration, he wasn’t pursuing Mia on his own. He wasn’t texting her, calling her, starting conversations with her outside of class, and it was when Mia kept initiating contact and pushing him that he said he’d break up with Kiki if Mia went on a date with him. I’m not excusing him for that, but best case scenario, he was doing this thing with Kiki without the end goal of exchanging her for Mia.

The ball flies at Hanna, Jonas comes to pick it up and says sorry. I truly hope that was an accident, because otherwise, dick move. Anyway, another little beat of awkwardness between the two.

Clip 8 - Christmas party

Party time! Linn sits on the couch, appropriately. She’s wearing a Santa hat, so she’s a little bit festive, at least?

The girls bake cookies, Hans seems to be making drinks. When Mia goes to the fridge, we get a nice glimpse of her, Hans, and Linn in some photo booth pics, awww.

Amira recreates the Salt Bae meme, which is fucking adorable, I love her.

Mia is a very pretty girl but I have to say that the styling is suiting her even more this season, and this is a really great look for her.

Kiki checks her phone. As we know from the social media, she had something planned with Alex. She’s sent some texts to him, but he’s ignoring her. Though I wonder if they actually had something planned, or if Kiki just assumed they did.

The doorbell rings and it’s Jonas, Matteo, and Carlos! I think they’re integrating the boy squad more into this season because they know fans love Jonas and Matteo, but that’s hardly something I’ll complain about. I live for more combined girl/boy squad content.

Hanna doesn’t seem totally OK with Jonas appearing - not like, shook to her core, but that she’s a little ruffled.

Carlos greets Kiki and says she looks good tonight and I don’t want to pair up any random boy and girl who interact, but if it will get her off Alex, then by all means, deliver us German Magnus/Vilde.

Mia asks Hans if he invited Michi (the guy from the BJ Santa clip) and he says no. Michi isn’t the kind of guy you date, he’s the guy you get to rim you. Well ... thanks for letting us know!

But it’s kinda interesting to me, because Hans is pretty dismissive and not complimentary of this guy, but at the same time… it’s his choice to just hook up with him and not go for anything serious. Mia seems like she’s meddling or judging a bit, disapproving of Hans doing this. I wonder if it’ll come into play later and if Hans will get as tired of Mia’s meddling as Kiki does. Still, it’s a nice parallel to her interfering with Kiki’s affairs, too.

This is a small, cute Christmas party, I dig it. The squads dance to All I Want For Christmas, the girls hug, it’s cute. Matteo sits at the table drinking, awww. Get up and dance, dude!

I wonder if Matteo not dancing is part of him checking himself not to be ~too gay? Or maybe he’s not in the mood because he’s been going through shit at home? Or he’s too drunk to get up? There are a lot of references to him drinking and getting stoned this season, and I mean, that’s not a great thing for him, but it’s a very interesting development in terms of what it will mean for his arc.

Hans and Matteo have met now! Maybe they didn’t talk much, but they were in the same room!

WHO WAS TOUCHING MATTEO’S HEAD, I CAN’T TELL

Matteo and Kiki share a moment where she’s singing to All I Want For Christmas at him and he’s just at the table. Are they actual friends or something? Elaborate, please!

Everyone’s having a good time until Hans suddenly cuts the music, then they’re angered. How dare he cut off Mariah!

Hans announces they’re going to the club and goes into the bathroom to take party drugs. He says he’s going to pee, but the others are aware he’s taking drugs. Matteo mentions that Hans said he partied last week and it took him 72 hours to notice that he didn’t eat anything. Oh no, Kiki’s going to latch onto that. Mia seems wary.

Later, after the party’s over, Mia is cleaning up when the doorbell rings. Kiki comes back in. She’s going to party with Hans and Sam. Cotton pads fall out of her purse. Wait, Kiki is eating them??? Uh-oh.

Mia asks her not to take drugs, she saw how Kiki reacted when they were talking about Hans. Kiki gets mad and asks why she doesn’t get on Hans’ case. Mia says it’s because Hans doesn’t eat cotton pads as a snack. Kiki gets very upset. Mia wants to know if this is because of Alexander.

Truthfully, I don’t think dating Alexander helps, necessarily, since Kiki will feel like she needs to be at her best to hold Alex’s attention, and if he’s not 100% interested in her, she’ll find the faults in herself rather than him. It doesn’t help that he’s already told her she’s not worth it, and even though he apologized, she might still feel the memory of that. But this problem with Kiki goes well beyond her dating Alexander. I’m not absolving him of everything, obviously, but I think she’d be engaging in these behaviors regardless of what he thought, even if it’s for his approval. Mia is using Alexander as a scapegoat here for a much broader issue with Kiki. Like I have no doubt that these problems originated before Alex.

Kiki yells at Mia to stop interfering in her life and that she’s obsessed. I’m really interested in what Druck is doing with these two, because there are two sides to this. I think when it comes to Kiki’s eating disorder, while Mia ultimately can’t control what Kiki does, she’s not wrong to mention her concerns. This is one situation where your friend’s health and physical well-being are at stake. Mia has likely been where Kiki has and recognizes the signs. When it comes to Alexander … Mia probably should back off by now. She’s made her case, she’s stated her concerns. Kiki is making her own choices with who she’s hooking up with. They may not be great choices but they’re Kiki’s to make. But mixing the two sides is that Mia thinks the relationship with Alex is exacerbating Kiki’s eating disorder, so Kiki’s romantic life is entangled with her health.

Mia lies in bed later. She goes through her text messages, first Hans, then Axel. If you look closely, you’ll notice that she sent something to him about the David Ben-Gurion quote being misattributed, which means they kept up the debate outside the classroom. Mia, I know you want to win the debate, but contacting Axel again to make your point isn’t going to convince him that you don’t care about him.

Mia texts Axel to leave Kiki alone. Again, this is messy because I think this is probably crossing the line, Mia’s said her piece already, and this is Kiki’s life. I’m glad they’ve emphasize that Mia thinks this situation is making Kiki’s eating disorder worse, though, because that is a very serious problem and if Mia thinks Alex is making it worse, then it’s easy to understand why she would keep intervening.

Mia is texting something like “Do you want to ...” before Axel writes back, and I’d be really interested to know what she was going to say.

Aaaand Alex wrecks a lot of the good will we wanted to give him by telling Mia he’ll break up with her if she goes out with him and admits she made up all the lesbian stuff. Ugh. So he’s a) willing to break up with Kiki and hurt her just to get with Mia b) putting pressure on Mia dating him c) not taking her being a lesbian seriously which is sadly a common attitude among straight dudes. Obviously lesbians can’t be real, it’s impossible for women not to want me men! Even if he thinks she made it up about her sexuality, he should fucking leave it at that. I mean, she made it up for a reason and that reason is that she doesn’t want to date him, take a hint. Whatever Mia’s flaws have been in this whole situation, that doesn’t let Alex off the hook, either.

We close on Mia from above in her bed, with some distance. I like that, it makes her seem smaller and less in control of what she feels she has to do.

General Comments/Social Media

I’m really happy to see this show back! So far this was a promising start; I think they’re working on some of the production issues of last season and listening to the fans, so that’s encouraging.

This week there was a TON of effort put into the social media, with many IG posts and stories and multiple text messages. There were also clips every day, sometimes more than one. This was a really smart choice, because the constant flow of content grabbed people’s attention - remember that one week in S1 where the show took an unexpected hiatus and people wondered if Druck had been cancelled mid-season? Not great for holding viewers’ interest. I very much hope they can keep up the steady roll of content - personally I would not be surprised if they tone it down a little after this week, and the large amount of content this week was to drum up hype for the show, but I hope we can keep it at higher levels than last season.

However, the constant content and the increased promotion seem to have worked, because the amount of views per clip and subscriptions to Druck’s channel have increased quite a bit! A lot of the clips seem to have as many or more views as clips from S1, which have been out for months. At the beginning of the week there was something like 63,000 subscribers to the channel, I think? As of writing this, they have almost 100,000. They gained more than 35,000 subscribers in a week. That’s incredible! I also noticed several of the clips and episodes were trending by the time I watched them, so that’s got to help attract new viewers. When there are new clips out frequently, they can keep trending, which will grab the attention of new fans. I poked through the comments and there seemed to be a LOT of people who are not existing Skam fans, but German viewers discovering Druck for the first time, which is amazing.

I realize it’ll be very messy with the timeline, but I hope that we can squeeze in at least one more season of this show, hopefully two so we can get both Amira and Matteo seasons. If the momentum keeps up, it’ll be a huge shame to end the show when it’s doing so well. Don’t pull a Julie Andem, Pola Beck. (Lmao, I’m willing to drop realism and pretend this is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Veronica Mars when they graduated high school after 2-3 seasons and then all happened to go to the same university.)

About Mia being a lesbian or bisexual, or having a romance with a girl - as much as I would love for this to happen, I’m not going to get my hopes up. I don’t want to be disappointed. What I do hope is that the stuff with Mia isn’t queerbaiting - I really hope that she isn’t straight. I get that she’s probably not going to be a lesbian and that she’ll likely end up with Alex, because otherwise it would be an enormous diversion from the source material, one that would not go over well with a big part of the fanbase that loves Noorhelm and is looking forward to seeing that story again. But let her be bi, at least. I get that it’s a pipe dream to hope for Mia/Hanna or Mia/Kiki, but let the f/f content be stronger than it was in S2 of Skam. Make it better than just drunken makeouts between ostensibly straight girls.

The thing is, I do understand if they have her get together with Alex. However you might feel about it personally, Noorhelm is a popular ship (S3 was the biggest internationally but I know S2 was huge in Norway) and there will be tons of people looking forward to it. So really, I’m not expecting them to throw out that relationship and the Mia/Alex endgame. Later in the season, I might change my mind. But right now, while I’m expecting some of the story details to change (as they already have), I’m not going to predict a radical overhaul of S2. I think I’ll be more disappointed if I expect them to reinvent this story so dramatically and they don’t. And if they do? I can be pleasantly surprised.

There’s going to be a fuck ton of drama this season in the fandom - hell, there already is - because Noorhelm is already polarizing, and we’ll be seeing people who still want this ship to succeed and people who don’t. But I do want to point out one thing: a huge amount of people, until the final clip, were being positive about Alex and Mia/Alex’s potential, pointing out ways they preferred Alex’s behavior to William’s. This included people who straight-up hated Noorhelm. I think this says a lot, that many people are willing to get on board with the pairing if it gets rid of the stuff they disliked about the original S2. Of course many others are never going to like this storyline, and many people who had high hopes then dropped them after Alex’s text message to Mia. We’ll see how fandom attitudes change or stay the same over the season.

I like how they’re characterizing Mia this season. They seem to have a clear idea of her motivations, they’re giving her flaws that seem naturally integrated into her character. One of the best ways to create a character, imo, is to think of their flaws and their strengths not as existing on completely separate spheres, but as personality traits existing together that have both positive and negative qualities. For instance, Mia is kind and protective of her friends, overall a positive trait, but that leads her to interfere with their lives, which can be a negative trait.

There were a ton of IG posts and text messages, both this week and before the season even started. I might have missed something - I didn’t expect Druck to hit me so hard with SM content, lmao.

One pre-season text had Hanna wanting to meet up with Jonas, and he initially agreed, but then when she asked for details he didn’t reply, and on the day of, he suddenly couldn’t meet. Oh, kids. This is such a different dynamic from Eva and Jonas in their S2, when they appeared to be on friendly terms and were hanging out together, totally platonic, nothing to see here!!! Unfortunately, Hanna and Jonas still have some friction.

There was a really excellent text message prior to the start of the season, about the girls meeting with college/career advisers at school. It did the double duty of both telling us about the girls’ aspirations and dreams for when they graduate, as well as exposing various difficulties and societal inequalities that they face. For instance, Kiki wants to go to university because no one in her family has done so before, but the adviser tried to talk her into some apprenticeships. Amira jokes that it’s because the adviser saw Kiki’s grades, but that also sees like an issue of classism - Kiki expresses interest in university but the adviser discourages her, possibly based on her background and not coming from a family that went to university. Sam wants to study fashion design and the adviser said that goal fits, presumably due to her personal style. With Amira we see blatant racism in the system, as she wants to become a chancellor, but the adviser laughs and singles out her hijab as a reason why she’ll find it difficult. Hanna was told to do better in school, continuing her academic struggles from her season (the Evas have never been great students). Mia, on the other hand, is told she could be anything. And true, I think Mia’s supposed to be a good student, but note the disparity in that a young white girl is told her future is full of limitless possibilities, whereas Amira (who I’m pretty sure is also a good student) is told how she’ll struggle to achieve her dreams.

I think that sort of sets up some of the tension to a degree with Mia’s character. I’m not sure how much we’ll go into this, but Mia (and the Nooras) have frequently been like the golden girl of Skam. Like I agree that S4 made a lot of mistakes in giving Noora too much importance at the expense of Sana, but I also think there was an awareness that Noora was perceived so differently than Sana even though in many ways they were similar, because of racism, and how Sana knew this and was hurt by it (it was just that S4 was a weird mishmash of knowing this and portraying it critically, and indulging in Noora’s greatness and playing it straight). So we could have that with Mia and Amira at some point. But also, I think this is a big issue with Mia and Kiki (and Noora and Vilde). Because we saw Vilde basically have to deal with Noora being seen as a “better” version of her. For example, Vilde planned to tell off William and have that as her big moment; but William tore her down and Vilde ran off in distress, and it was Noora who stepped up to roast him and put him in his place. What Noora did was great but it snatched Vilde’s moment. Noora is pretty and skinny, she stuffs herself with pancakes and is model thin, something that Vilde aspires to be. Vilde has a crush on William and he uses her and throws her away; Noora gets William’s attention and she doesn’t even want it, then ends up in a serious relationship with him as William decides Noora is the girl worthy of his loyalty. We saw a lot of this play out with Mia and Kiki already in S1. Now in S2, the tension between the two is going even harder than with Noora and Vilde. Vilde never snapped at Noora the way Kiki does in this episode. Honestly out of everything, I think I’m most interested in seeing how that relationship develops over the season. Remember that Mia is the only one who was there to help Kiki with her pregnancy scare last season, so now they’ve got this other big situation and secret between them.

Girl Sam invited one of the boys to the Christmas party, but it’s not clear from the texts which of them it was. I’m pretty sure it was Jonas since he says Sam invited them in the clip, but still, that’s one downside of Druck’s text system, we can’t always tell who the conversations are between. Although on the other hand, I do think there are instances where that ambiguity could add some suspense and mystery. (She greets mystery boy as “Hi bitch!” which is pretty funny and suggests they are on reasonably friendly terms.)

I wonder if Sam invited the boys on behalf of Hanna? Then Jonas would have an excuse to hang around Hanna without the pressure of it being one-on-one, or seeming too much like a date/like they were back together. And he might respond more positively to a “neutral” party like Sam rather than Hanna, with all their history.

By the way, Hanna had a pic of her and Jonas before the season started that’s like “When lovers become friends!” and she looks significantly happier about it than he does.

Carlos (the Elias from S1) got an IG and his name (car_lospolloshermanos) is a Breaking Bad reference. I remember him as being fairly decent and not too shitty in S1, so it’d be nice to see him as a member of German boy squad.

Kiki posts a pic of her healthy vegan meal and Matteo responded by posting his currywurst. Lmao, so they’re friendly enough that they can have this banter???

Matteo posts a bunch of memes on his IG. How Isak of him.

Amira had some utterly beautiful pics of her summer where she’s riding a camel and visiting the pyramids in Egypt.

There were so many Christmas party pics and videos! I loved the effort put into it. The kids were adorable.and the activity made it feel more like an actual party.

We’ve had Skam and the remakes take place on holidays, but never on Christmas, so I’m quite excited to see what Druck gives us! Even if it’s just Mia, Hanna, and Hanna’s dad chilling out, that’ll be good enough for me. Plus, we should get New Year’s too - what if we get a clip that drops around midnight on New Year’s Eve?

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

I’m not German, so if I missed any language or cultural context, feel free to let me know!

#druck reactions

29 notes · View notes

whippedkoalas · 6 years

Text

Clips 2x02

Just a little disclaimer first, because I’ll feel better if I say this. Charles will be a huge part of the clips from now on, and I know my opinion on him (and William) is unpopular. (to stay positive, lol) So, eh... you know. If you want to find people who hate all the Williams, there are a lot of people that fit the description, but I don’t and never will. (if it wasn’t obvious)

En mode Tinder

I still love Emma a lot. Her way of talking, her sense of humor, her attitude. She’s my favorite of the girls.

Why should Emma go on Tinder, Manon? I don’t understand.

I love her reaction when Emma asks if anything is happening in her love life because.... she could have easily just said no. Plus, there is nothing going on, right? right?

her face at the end...

Le héros de la semaine

Lucas and Sarah are so extra, I love it.

Ingrid! The “hello Daphné” is so great, I’m glad she’s still friends with her. And the way she explains what Yann did, lmao. It is not something that can be translated fully.

Emma is as confused as I was but Ingrid seems more uncomfortable with that information than Emma and I don’t know why it is so funny to me, but it is.

Yann didn’t understand anything, but neither did we, really ... so.

Viens avec moi

Daphné’s joke is so... lame. I still love you, girl.

Daphné, my sweet child. I love her speech about safe places, even though she doesn’t even... listen to her own advice. At least she’s trying?

I didn’t really like that conversation in Skam either, so... still not a fan. I still don’t know what to think about the fact that Manon outright says she’s not a lesbian. I think they showed Daphné’s hypocrisy well, though.

Pour Daphné

Mika is so funny. I love his reactions. He’s got a point but ... Manon is as stubborn as Noora, so.

Everyone makes a point to say that Charles is NOT Daphné’s boyfriend. Even Manon.

Manon’s reasoning is so... flawed. It makes no sense but I love it. The brain gymnastics that girl does to justify this date/deal... surreal.

I’ll try to finish this review with thoughts that are not just different versions of “wow he’s so cute” but... really................ look. how. cute. Charles. is.

“I know you don’t drink.” and... he’s proud of himself...

Charles’s childhood story is even creepier than William’s. I didn’t know it was possible. Like... out of all the stories he could have told, the good memory he chooses to tell her is a story about Nicolas being a fucking creep who terrifies his younger brother. And just like William, you see that Charles doesn’t realize that this is not normal. (Don’t ever try to tell me it is. It’s not.)

I really love their interaction about sleeping outside in a city because... it makes their conflict so clear. Charles used to sleep on the balcony when he was just a child because he was terrified. It makes sense that a child would try to make that a good memory. I can picture an 8 yo boy trying to find comfort in the lights and the noises. To me, it’s natural that he would just... get used to the noises and everything to the point that it became soothing. (better be alone outside than inside with Nicolas. That’s understandable, Charles. That’s pretty sad, too.)

But Manon just... think about the countless homeless people in Paris and that makes a lot of sense too. And I think it’s great she points out that he says that because he can.

I hate Nico in every language, fantastic.

“I stop talking about my childhood” makes me a bit sad in every language, it seems.

And his dad seems to be in competition to win the ‘father of the year’ award. Great. But Charles has a point. take the damn car if it’s the only thing your father can give you.

Manon is right, it’s more complicated than that but she didn’t even try to make them easier, let’s be honest. Asking him to apologize for what he said complicated things a bit, too. (For everyone)

Charles’s reasoning is flawed just like William’s was. He definitely has trouble to see other people’s perspective. And in contract, Manon sometimes forgets herself because she thinks a bit too much about others. I think this clip demonstrates that very well. They both grew up fast, without that much guidance from what they said in those two first episodes, and the way they dealt with that is different and I’m curious to see how their story unfolds.

Manon makes me laugh at the end.

#skamfr #this ep is the one that made me love William that much #because I was like... who raised you to think this way?#and the answer was no one #who let your brother scare you like that?#everyone #and I was impressed someone wrote a storyline about siblings abuse #paired up with #different ways to cope with trauma and fucked up family situation #Season 2 could only be my fav

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lesbian-ed · 7 years

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🌸Hi, a few years ago when I was 16 (19 now)I was forced out to my friends by this homophobic girl, and I came out as bi (still in the closet to my family), I'm no longer friends with any of them, but I can't figure out what label I should have, I really want to just know who I am. I said to them I was bi, but I've never felt right with that label. I read about comp het and it makes so much sense to me, but I still don't know. 1/5

🌸I feel, like, attracted to male celebs, but only when they’re in films or tv, and watching interviews of them ruins it?, and whenever I’m around guys I get these thoughts I can’t control about kissing them and sleeping with them and I feel rlly self conscious, I said this to a friend who said it’s a crush, but I get it with people I don’t like at all 2/?

🌸 And sometimes I have a phase where I feel like I could date a guy and marry him and have kids and be happy but it feels like I’m imagining a perfect version of me that actually im not like at all? And as well I can only imagine myself with a young guy, once I think about a 30 yr old or older I don’t want it anymore, but the perfect fantasy seems so appealing idk 3/?

🌸I feel different about girls but I don’t know I’m catholic and I feel like it’s always been other people are gay and that’s ok but not me? And I don’t know whether I feel no attraction to girls or I’m pushing it down bc when I see girls kiss on tv I literally have started crying and I saw a lesbian couple in public once and I got butterflies and also Ive found myself changing pronouns in songs in my head without realising but I’ve never had close to a crush on anyone especially not a girl 4/5

🌸Ive never even met a gay girl except for one pan girl at school but she was really weird and rude so I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like to like someone? writing this all down it makes it sound like I’m definitely a lesbian but that scares me so much bc ill never have a normal life and I can’t shake this feeling that actually I do want to be with a guy but I’m trying to be interesting or I’m faking this or something. Pls tell me your thoughts on this 5/5

Oh, anon. This literally all feels as if my younger self came into my ask box just now to ask for advice.

I understand your pain, I really do, I went through so many of the same thought processes you’re describing now. It’s good that you’re aware of compulsory heterosexuality, since I believe that will make sorting your feelings easier. Still, I recommend you look through our tag (if you haven’t already) to read more thoughts on this. It’ll help.

I obviously can’t tell you what your sexuality is for you, that’s your own journey to make, but this sounds so much like my own experience that I’m pretty sure what the answer is already.

Anon, let me tell you a story, I went to a catholic school and while my parents are pretty liberal and not that religious (in fact, my dad’s an atheist) I was also raised with the idea that ok, there were gay people out there, and I didn’t care what other people did with their lives! But honestly that was kind of weird and I couldn’t be like them, because they weren’t normal, like I should be. I was bullied a lot as a kid, because I was weird and ugly and way too shy and easy to pick on, so I grew up with this idea that whatever else happened, I had to stop being like that, I had to be beautiful and normal and acceptable. And that of course included a perfect fantasy of marrying the man of my dreams after he fell in love with men when I suddenly grew up to be the most beautiful woman there was, and having kids, and holding down a successful job that I was happy doing and having lots of money and well, just having the most perfect life. How could I not want that? Ever since I was old enough to walk, society fed me the idea that this was my ideal endgame, how could we ALL not dream about that at some point?

I used to be obsessed with those stories where the “ugly” girl suddenly turns beautiful and the Nice Perfect Popular Boy finally notices her and they get together, those stories were my dream life. As a kid and young teen I’d fantasize about them constantly, I’d make up characters that would always end up fulfilling those same tropes. It was the way to prove to all those who ever called me ugly or belittled me because I was nerdy that “see? I got the happy ending” so when I was twelve, and suddenly all the girls were having crushes on boys I felt nothing for, while I started noticing seemingly out of the blue just how incredibly beautiful so many girls my age and older were, I got veeery scared. I couldn’t like girls like that, I wasn’t like that, I was already weird and had no friends, so how could I ever hope to find a girl who liked girls who’d like me? And if I did, everyone already hated me, so how would I bear it? The stares and the insults and the danger we’d face if people saw us together on the street? So I pushed that attraction down as far as I could, I convinced myself I was actually just too inmature to start thinking about crushes and all that stuff, and obviously when I was mature enough and the time came, I’d like boys, because that’s what Normal Girls did right? And I had to be normal.

In my school’s equivalent of US’ eighth grade, a new boy came to our class, he was pretty, and friendly, and most importantly, blonde! and he was the school sports star! It felt like every movie-like fantasy I ever had come to life. Every girl was in love with him, so one time I had a dream where we were dating. I woke up being absolutely ecstatic, that must have meant I had a crush right? I liked a boy? I was definitely straight?

I never actually began feeling nervous around this boy, or looking at him any more than usual until I had this dream and decided that meant I was in love. I told a friend eventually because I was excited about being in love and the fantasy I had created for myself about our perfect relationship (which did involve us kissing and having sex, and I never actually felt turned on about it but I did imagine it a lot because it meant we were In Love, so those fantasies happen even if you don’t actually like like the person in question, dw!), and isn’t that what you do when you like someone? Gossip about it with your friends? She told some of my bullies and the dude found out, so he started laughing at me in the middle of the class and calling me ugly and saying he was traumatized at the mere idea of me liking him.

And I… felt nothing. I was angry of course, and sad, but it was just the same anger and sadness I felt when some random I didn’t like made fun of me, it wasn’t even like what I felt when former friends said nasty stuff about me. And I wanted to be heartbroken I wanted to wallow in the misery and the drama of it, but I just wasn’t, it was the same “well this shit sucks and I’m angry about it but it happens everyday so wyd?” There was no deeper feeling there, not even any special resentment, there was nothing. I never felt anything ever again when I looked at this boy.

Now, sometime later, the same boy starts dating a girl from our class, and it was around the same time that I was coming to terms with the fact that the latent attraction I had started to feel for women when I was younger had never actually gone away but rather had grown. Things were purely about sexual attraction for me at that point, not romantic feelings. I hadn’t actually been in love with a girl either by that point. Because even tho I was accepting my sexual attraction to women, I still had the idea in my mind that ideally I would end up with a boy, because when so much of my hopes for the future relied of me being beautiful and a man falling in love with me forever and ever so that I could have a normal future, letting go of that dream took a while. I called myself bisexual for a while, only to realize very little later that it didn’t actually fit me. When I did, it was hard, because I had to re-come out again to my mom and the two friends I had told, and that really scared me, because I felt like some fake, like what I felt was not actually real. I put it off, and my friends & mom were accepting but they also were like “you’re just confused about your sexuality!!/this is just a phase!!” so that fed into my insecurities. Even when I realized I was sexually into women only, I still hadn’t fallen in love with one, so that made things more confusing for me (I hadn’t fallen for any boy other than the one I mentioned earlier and one I met on a vacation that thought I liked for like a week because he had a pretty voice and was pretty androgynous lmao, but again, no heartbreak when he went away)

Eventually, (funnily enough through fandoms and f/f ships and fics that depicted them in loving relationships, And I cried when I read about girls kissing too, at first I thought it was because I was a Good Straight Ally, but I was just a lesbian lmao) I realized that I could also be happy in a relationship with a woman, that it was not only a possible future for me, but one that I wanted, one that felt right, one in which I wouldn’t be the beautiful, perfect, feminine, smart, succesful career woman I had dreamed of as a kid, but in which I’d be me, with all my quirks and faults, with another woman with her own quirks and faults who’d love me for who I am, because that was possible! It was possible to be happy like that!. When I realized this, that me liking girls romantically and sexually, and exclusively girls was okay, it felt like a veil was lifted from my eyes. Suddenly, all the feelings and attraction I had thought I had felt for boys paled in comparison to the intensity of what I felt for women, I learned what actual sexual desire was like, I yearned for a future with a real me in it with a real woman by my side, instead of the fake ideal I’d wanted to be when I was younger. It was around that time I fell in love for the first time.

Remember how I mentioned the boy I used to “like” got a girlfriend? Well, guess who I fell for? Me and her were assigned seats together one year in high school, and I got to know her through the first term, every time liking her more and more, until one day, she just walks into class, and I think she did something different with her hair? Whatever it was, seeing her felt like someone punching the breath out of me, it felt like watching literal perfection embodied. And I was gone, I was just so so sooo gone. I felt sparks when we sat next to each other, I couldn’t stop smiling like a fool whenever I looked at her, she’d say something nice to me and it felt like my soul was flying out of my body. And of course it was idealized, it was a crush on a girl I didn’t know that well, but the feelings I had, I had for her, for her actual personality, her actual sweetness, her actual kindness, even her actual rashness sometimes, not the fantasy I had made up of her that I projected onto her like I did when I “liked” her boyfriend. I liked her as a person. Plus the intensity of both crushes was just so fucking different. When I liked her, I cried when we were apart and at the thought of her with her dumbass idiot boyfriend, I listened to a love song and could relate to it for the first time. I understood finally why people would write poetry and songs and do all sorts of crazy things for this feeling.

Tldr: I also fantasized about the ideal boy and I was never able to allow myself to feel anything for a girl because of how much I had repressed my sexuality due to fear of backlash until I was able to recognize that yes, liking women was OK and then all my repressed feelings came pouring out like a tsunami.

If that sounds like something you can kind of relate to, then that’s your answer anon. However, it might not be, or maybe you don’t know if it is yet. That’s alright! Sexuality can be complicated and it can take a long time to figure it out. You’re not on a deadline here, you don’t have to stress about it.

As for the normal part, yeah being a lesbian in this society sucks a lot. And I still get terrified of the idea that I will not be “normal” and that I can never be happy. Even if I know deep in my heart that I can never be happy with a man, sometimes I wonder if it’d be worth it to spare me the pain. The answer? Hell no, I’ve got one life, one, what’s the point of wasting it on loveless unfulfilled relationships when I could try to go for someone I’ll actually be happy with? There’ll be pain, of course there will be, I live in a small town and I’ve only just started meeting other lesbians & bi girls offline this year because I’ve gone to university, and I’ve only ever actually started talking to and becoming actual friends with the ones I knew online this year too because I was so terrified before! All of them tell me about their hurt, and how lesbophobia affects them a lot, and yet I see them talking about how much they love their girlfriends/wives (I don’t have that because I’m an awkward potato but I’m trying) and also other lesbians, and it gives me hope, because I can be just like them, finding genuine happiness amidst the pain.

I hope this answer helps you.

Mod M :D

#anonymous #answered asks #advice #lesbophobia #positivity #lesbian positivity #mod m #original #mod m gets personal lmao #compulsory heterosexuality

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ravenspacemaker · 7 years

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my coming out story (its kinda odd)

all inspired by the great @bugguhl

okay so just some background, me and my dad have a super strong relationship like hes probably one of my best friends and im his favorite child (its obvious). also im a girl (in case u didnt know).

basically ever since i was a little kid i loved boys. when i was like four i told a waiter at a restaurant that i thought he was handsome, and there were so many other stories my grandparents/parents have told me since i was little about my love for boys. elementary school was pretty ordinary. i was one of those 4th/5th grade hoes who was a serial dater and dated all the boys in the class. like obv those arent real relationships or anything, but i was boy crazy from a very young age.

after i finished elementary school, i started going to a private school for middle school, starting in 6th grade (mainly because my bff was going there but my parents liked that i was gonna be in an upscale and controlled environment or whatever idk). i continued my boy crazy ways in middle school but this is the first time i really remember being into girls. i was the new kid (the school went from pre-nursery which is like for 2 year olds up until 12th grade so many people have been there all their lives) so i was meeting everyone in my grade of like 25 kids for the first time. i was like entranced by these two girls who i’ll call catherine and jessica. they were just both so pretty and i was just in love with them. through my people-pleasing ways i managed to become really close friends with the two of them (again, the grade had 25 kids, so it wasnt hard making friends). nothing really ever happened with them, but this is when i started thinking it was possible i wasnt fully straight. also, around this time i discovered porn lol, and i started becoming fascinated with just girls. however, i still refused to admit i was anything but straight (this probably is because when i was a little kid we had a lesbian in my family but my family didnt know if id understand what that meant so they told me that it was normal for girls to be attracted to other girls soooo i think my young brain just couldnt comprehend that even more)

eventually at the end of 7th grade i started wanting to leave private school just because i missed all my old friends so i went back to my public school for 8th grade. early in 8th grade i started reconnecting with my old friends from elementary school, and at lunch i reconnected with this girl who ill call wanda (im trying to keep the names somewhat similar and she had a weird W name im sorry lmao). me and wanda ended up becoming super close, and she introduced me to her whole friend group. they were all super beautiful girls, kinda like those cliche gorgeous girls u see in movies.

as we got older, our “clique” kinda got stronger and stronger, and when we got to high school we befriended two new girls who were equally gorgeous. me and wanda had become best friends at this point too. when i was in high school i guess u could say i was a party girl. my friend group partied a lot, but like mostly with other groups. and basically all of us had boyfriends a lot of the time, but i knew deep down that i was really attracted to wanda and i wished that i could date her. also, at this age i knew what bisexuality was and probably knew that was what i am, but it was like trendy to call the ugly girls lesbians with these girls i was friends with (ik its horrible), so i was scared to really say anything about it.

junior year i was dating this guy who we’ll call eric. i was kinda a terrible girlfriend, and eric ended up dumping me because of this. and so afterwards we went out to a party and me and wanda both got pretty fucked up. we went into some bedroom together and just started joking about how we were done with boys (her and her bf had recently split too) and she was like “lol what if i kissed u”. so basically we kissed, and then we both started doing that annoying drunk laughing about how we were “lesbians”. we did some other stuff too and that was that.

afterwards, we both knew we did stuff the night before and i think each of us were happy about it, but we thought the other would be ashamed so we were super awkward. eventually she just texted me and tried to be cool about it and joked around or whatever. but eventually we decided that there was actually something more to this and decided to go out on a “date”. as i was walking out the door that night my dad asked me where i was going so i told him i was going on a date, and he asked me what his name was, so i just said “her name”. he was a little shocked i could tell, but all he said was just “oh okay, have fun”. idk why i was so upfront like that cuz that really isnt like me at all, but im happy i was.

anyways so me and wanda like lowkey dated in the closet for a month, but it wasnt anything serious and i think both of us were kinda just hurting from getting dumped. we ended up deciding to just be friends but things were weird because we were the only ones who knew what had happened between us and everyone in school thought we were just bffs. i never actually came out publicly, in high school. during my senior year i found a new friend group and was open about being bisexual with them and it wasnt a big deal or anything, but i never publicized it to the whole school. when i went to college i started introducing myself openly as bisexual. i never really told my family about it but they all either know via my dad (hes a loudmouth) or have no reason to know until i begin a real relationship with a girl.

honestly this story is pretty underwhelming now that ive written out the whole thing im so sorry for wasting ur time. also if ur wondering if ive ever been with girls after this, yes i have but i havent dated any (im willing if i find the right one though lmao).

#bb19 #i didnt think this would be so long im sorry it shouldve been multiple parts #also i fucking hate wanda now so this story angered me at parts lmao #also ik i made stupid decisions in high school u dont need to rub it in #coming outgate

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yakkoblr · 7 years

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92 Questions

A “should we know us a little better” tag RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people  Tagged by @karaokegoddess THE LAST:  1. Drink: pepsi  2. Phone call: my dad?? probably  3. Text message: from yahoo that told me my account key lmAo  4. Song you listened to: mamasita by latino sunset  5. Time you cried: at the fair with my friends cuz i’m a pussy ass bitch  6. Dated someone twice: no but i wanted to 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yea,,  8. Been cheated on: who knows  9. Lost someone special: yea  10. Been depressed: every 3-5 business days and occasionally on the weekends  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: hell no LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: black, green, gold (how on brand of me) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: the last year has been long and i have no concept of time so idk man probably  16. Fallen out of love: nah  17. Laughed until you cried: nope  18. Found out someone was talking about you: it’s a complicated situation  19. Met someone who changed you: they haven’t really changed me but they really made me happy just by existing  20. Found out who your friends are: yep lmao 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i haven’t kissed anyone since my freshman year GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: nearly all of them  23. Do you have any pets: at least 5+  24. Do you want to change your name: yes a million times yes  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: bowling?? i think??  26. What time did you wake up: not even like half an hour ago  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing fishdom and sleeping  28. Name something you can’t wait for: death  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: not even like,, a couple minutes ago  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish i wasn’t so apathetic!!  31. What are you listening right now: nothing  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yea he was a douchebag  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my hair not being the cute kinda curly but instead the puffy, tangled kinda curly  34. Most visited Website: instagram  35. Mole/s: one on my back, like riiiiight on my spine  36. Mark/s: a shit ton of miscellaneous freckles, a birthmark on my hip, a couple scars, some bruises, some cuts, and some acne bumps 37. Childhood dream: rich af and never having to work a day in my life 38. Hair color: brown, with some blonde highlights and a red tint 39. Long or short hair: long?????? 40. Do you have a crush on someone: my super amazing gf and this hot girl who’s absolutely terrible for me but whatever 41. What do you like about yourself: HA 42. Piercings: two on both ears, and a septum 43. Bloodtype: i have absolutely no idea 44. Nickname: j*dey (which i asked people to stop calling me), low-key loki, “the worst lesbian" 45. Relationship status: it’s open 46. Zodiac: scorpio 47. Pronouns: she, they, xe 48. Favorite TV Show: i don’t really watch shows anymore, but i like deadliest catch and batman beyond 49. Tattoos: not rn but i’d like some 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never 52. Piercing: already answered this lmao 53. Sport: i hate participating in sports but girl’s volleyball is… interesting… 55. Vacation: my bed, some chips, a nice cold one (pepsi), and the ac on blast 56. Pair of trainers: idk my vans are pretty nice MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i WAS eating mac n cheese 58. Drinking: pepsi 59. I’m about to: idk go on youtube?? 61. Waiting for: nothing 62. Want: nothing 63. Get married: idk sounds nice 64. Career: rich af and never having to work a day in my life WHICH IS BETTER?: 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: lips 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: loud?? 72. Hook up or relationship: hookup 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both have advantages and disadvantages! (i didn’t even bother editing this answer lmao) HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nah 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i didn’t "lose” them, i knew where they were, it’s just some assholes fucking broke them 77. Turned someone down: oh heeeeell yea i love doing that lmao 78. Sex in the first date: i haven’t even had proper sex tf 79. Broken someones heart: eh, maybe?? 80. Had your heart broken: oh yea 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yea but it was discrete, sorry but i don’t cry in front of others, ESPECIALLY not in front of family 83. Fallen for a friend: hahaha yea DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not in the slightest 85. Miracles: god i hope they’re real cuz i super need like twenty 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss in the first date: why not 89. Angels: not really OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: ronan, dan, tara 91. Eyecolor: brown 92. Favorite movie(s): (i accidentally erased some of that question so idk if that is what it said but oh well) idk i really like the Descendants movie and i really wanna see the second one, Uma is like my gf and idk anything about her besides she’s a badass pirate TAGGED: @transmanlukeskywalker @preciousnerd @robonino-main

#ask game #sorta

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surveys-at-your-service · 8 years

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Survey #56

“no doubt about it, i got a bad, bad girlfriend.”

who was the last male you hung out with? we didn't really "hang out," but i was around bradley, colleen's husband. the last male i really did "hang out" with was my friend girt months ago. who is your favorite person to text? colleen when’s the last time you talked to the person you like? the last time i talked and he responded, via battle.net because we were both online. i asked him how school was going and such, despite in his responses it being obvious he didn't want to talk. last time i "talked" to him without his input in the conversation was when i wrote him a ten-page letter i've yet to mail him. who did you last take a picture with? colleen, chelsea, and mom. do you and your best friend ever fight? yes. we're in a fight now, actually. we're both very opinionated people and also very different, so. is there someone who can make you laugh no matter what? fucking jason. i would be crying and he could still make me laugh. has anyone ever mistaken you for being gay/lesbian/bi? yes. more than once. lmao at the store the other day, colleen ran into her preacher, and i was with her. it was kinda obvious he thought we were a couple. explain why you last threw up? had a baaaad stomach bug. ever kissed your best friend's significant other? definitely not! do you like the person you are becoming? no. more than anything, my happiness should NOT be so dependent on a man who doesn't even care about me. do you have anything embarrassing/sexual in your room? i do not. know anyone who has a pet gecko? my former best friend summer and my acquaintance caleb. do you like eating soup in the winter? i don't like soup period. do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any? sure! when you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? once because a kid my sister knew was stupid as fuck. did/do you get school cancellations because of snow? dude, we got cancellations if there was a chance of an inch of snow. who knows ALL of your secrets? jason is the only one, actually. i've literally told him everything. what does your typical outfit look like? yoga/sweatpants, graphic tee. did you have a job before you were in college? no, actually. do you think hunting is wrong? if so, why? for purely sport, kinda. just killing for fun doesn't seem right in the slightest? if you're in a survival situation or if you actually do eat what you kill, sure, hunt. have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? not in-depth, no. it'd be... very hard. well first off, it'd be impossible for me to get pregnant, but let's just say i somehow did. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be a "bad" mom, but an insufficient one. i'm pretty severely mentally ill and very unstable right now, and a child's malleable mind doesn't need to be exposed to that, especially when it's his/her mother. i also do not want to bring a child into this world when (s)he wouldn't have a father figure. fathers are just as important as mothers, imo, and a baby should be raised with both parents. the last thing a child needs is just a sick mother. despite the obvious issues though, holy hell would i do everything for that baby. do you have a sensitive gag reflex? VERY. i can't even put those things in my mouth at the dentist for when you get x-rays without a massive struggle. i usually have the get the kid ones. what was the last situation to upset you? colleen said something very ignorant. have you ever had an online argument? waaaaay more than one. i've been around the internet since what, 2007? i've had plenty. do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? online friends, sure, real life friends, not on tumblr, no. i occasionally/very rarely post a survey in facebook notes, so my friends obviously know, but they haven't seen even a microscopic quarter of the surveys i've done. i'm not entirely... against the idea, but like, i'd only ever maybe admit to colleen i have a survey blog. how do you typically style your hair? does it take long? no, because it's too thick for me personally to style. i would kill to have the emo/scene/whatever you call it hair, but my hair just doesn't work with me. when were you last offered something illegal? never, i think. what are you most confident about? most insecure about? uhhh. i mean, i guess my knowledge about meerkats is what i'm most confident about? most insecure about, my stomach. when are you most likely to say something you don’t mean? if you bring up jason. where’s the best place to get your favorite dish? my favorite dish ever is spicy shrimp fritas, which i get from olive garden. can you play guitar hero? yeah. i used to play almost everything on expert and sometimes get 100%, but now i play mostly on hard and a select few on expert. if you could move somewhere else, would you? yeah, closer to the mountains on the western side of the state. how many months until your birthday? less than one! do you want your tongue pierced? yes, i want the snake eyes tongue piercing. who was the last person to disappoint you? colleen are you emotionally strong? i honestly do not know? like i tell myself i wouldn't be alive otherwise, but simultaneously, i feel that if i was strong, so many things wouldn't bother me. you think ‘I love you’ are strong words? they were enough to ruin my life, so. on grand theft auto, do you just kill people or actually do the missions? i've never played it before, but i think i'd do the missions, since i play games to beat them. have you ever been to australia? no, but i'd kinda like to to meet my friend shay. i'm just scared of all the venomous shit they have, especially the spiders. do you watch adult swim? no. half the shit on there was immaculately immature the last time i saw it, anyway. do you have a favorite pair of underwear? i only have one pair because i never wear underwear unless there's an occasion i need to, and they're pink and black and lacy. what is your dad’s occupation? he's been a mailman for years and actually likes it. have you ever seen a baby snake? no, actually. i mean on television and stuff, sure, but not in real life. do you own any band tees? plenty. big part of my wardrobe. do you think they really landed on the moon, or it was fake? i've seen like all the evidence that it may have been faked, and i believe it's a possibility it was, but in general, i believe that we truly did land on the moon, despite some of the oddities. do you feel embarrassed to listen to music you love out loud around other people? no no no no no!! that's like, probably the only think about me i'm proud of revealing!! does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain? curtain when is the last time you sat around a campfire? years ago in new york. do you have a back-up career choice? what is it? not really, honestly... i mean my dream job is to be a meerkat biologist, but i'm not moving to africa, so that just won't happen. the only thing i want to do is be a photographer. are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? i mean, it really depends on the man, but in general, i like longer hair. is there a name that you hear and cringe? rachel. what was the last computer game you played? world of warcraft, before my computer decided "hey let's keep restarting." i was about to get the long-forgotten hippogryph too, and i'm still salty about it. what would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? world of warcraft, again, and idk why. like there's nothing to be ashamed of, yet i am. like even when i get my computer fixed, i'm contemplating just not getting back into it to avoid the feeling of embarrassment. do you let your pets on your furniture? yes, because they live here??? can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you? with my history of thinking aaron liked me and believing jason would ask me out, i guess. what is your favorite thing to cook for someone else? the only thing i can really cook are some yummy scrambled eggs, with hot sauce. have you ever bought underwear simply because it made your underwear drawer look nice? no? how do you feel about kettle cooked chips? GROSS would you ever consider visiting texas? if my former best friend mini would talk to me again, sure. i'd love to visit her. who was the last person to turn you on? jason was good at that. what are your views on the death penalty? it is only for the coldest, hardest criminals where there is no doubt they committed the crime. some people just don't change and do deserve to die, imo. is the music you listen to 'weird’? i'm sure some people consider it such. have you ever played an instrument? i played flute all through middle and high schools are fingerless gloves awesome? sure, i have some from high school. do you fit any stereotypes? possibly. after all, the definition of certain stereotypes vary very slightly from person-to-person. i guess i fit both geek and emo in some ways. does your best friend have a driver’s license? yeah. what size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? medium. do you have underwear from victoria’s secret? i do not. do you want a relationship? i mean, yeah, i guess. i'm dangerously lonely and after dating jason, i know how good relationships feel. but i don't want to rush anything. are you uncomfortable staring into someone’s eyes who you like? no. i could stare into jason's forever. who was the first person you talked to today? via the internet, ummm i think it was shaylee. in real life, nicole, my little sister. honestly! do you think you’re better than anyone else? not at all. god told us we're equal, that's why. do you have any fish as pets? no. i'd really like a big saltwater tank, though. when was the last time you slept in your parents' bedroom? well, my parents have been divorced for years now, and mom doesn't currently have a room, she sleeps on the couch and i sleep in her old room, so i really don't know. do you like channing tatum? i think he's physically attractive, but that's it. do you have a common first name? very. who/what is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life? jason. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen? did you like it? "the purge," because the whole basis of the story was just... stupid? like, WHY to begin with would it ever be legally allowed to purge? the whole idea was just stupid. the movie itself was okay in general though. who is the most important person in your life right now? i'm trying to make it me. have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you? nope. who did you last talk to about the person you love? mom, i think. who was the last person you sat next to on a bus? i haven't been on a bus since high school. but i always sat with jason. do you carry photos in your wallet? i'm pretty sure i have a picture on nicole somewhere in there. the last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours? i've never had sex, but the last time i did something sexual, it was probably his bed. is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? i don't "think" it, i know it. has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? nope. name two of your favorite colors. maroon, pink. do you want to get married? i do. are you afraid of roller coasters? yes, i am. what colors would you like to have at your wedding? i've actually considered many combinations. think i'll wait for my spouse's opinion 'til i really decide. tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? he was so, so unique. strange. different. maddeningly bizarre. and, he cared. he approached me while i was pushing everyone away, and i just couldn't shove him, too. he wanted to know aaaall about me, and he seemed to like everything he heard... he backed me into a corner where i couldn't escape him, yet i wasn't afraid. now i'm damned for it. what was the last reason you cried? i missed jason. last person to tell you i love you? my mama what do you think your ex would say about you? "she's my psycho ex." think of your last kiss….was it cute? i don't remember my last kiss, because i didn't think it'd be the last. i was so blissfully ignorant. i was suspicious that something was wrong with jason, but... i never thought he'd leave. i mean don't get me wrong, every kiss we had was precious, but it was at the same time just another kiss. have you ever played golf? i've played putt-putt, but not golf. what was the last tv show you watched an episode of? probably something at colleen's, idk. do you like beer? if so, what's your favorite brand? never tried it, but i know it stinks to high heaven. how often do you update your facebook status? i never update my status unless something quite big happens. i only ever share funny pictures/posts or stuff i heavily relate to/agree with. do you feel bad when you throw food out? it's not something i think about all the time, but i do, because i know some people have much less than i. when was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? months ago when i had my eyebrows done. i want to go more regularly, it's just a money thing. what is your favorite video game? "silent hill 2" would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? what would you have done? i don't think so. do you like shrimp? eh, usually. have you ever been in a car accident? i have. who is your favorite superhero? batman. what is your favorite fruit flavored soda [grape, strawberry, orange, etc]? strawberry have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? pleeeenty of times. would you ever be a stripper? hell no. your ex is walking next to you, with their new partner, what do you do? fucking kill her. do you have a hard time letting go? i probably have a harder time letting go than anybody on the planet. is the last person you kissed a virgin? nope. he's had sex with rachel, and i'm sure he's fucked ashley by now. can't wait 'til he breaks her heart, too. have you ever cried uncontrollably on a boy’s shoulder before? more than once. how many times have you changed a diaper in your life? literally only once what do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend? i'm passionate and loyal as fuck. did you ever go to a mental hospital? four or five times, the numbers are honestly starting to blur. does your mom/dad smoke? dad does. how old are you? i'll be 21 in a few weeks. did an old person ever hit on you? yes, and it was fucking terrifying. do you believe that weed should be legalized? no, honestly. do you like apple jacks? yes! Are you afraid of the dark? nah. would you say your taste in music is in a very broad spectrum? no, honestly. i'm very limited in the type of music i enjoy. are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent? ... i'm going to pretend the fact this is on a survey doesn't bother me and just answer it. i tend to moan and gasp a lot. i've wanted to scream before, but haven't. what’s your middle name? marie have you ever written or received a suicide note? no, but more than once have i almost written one. ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? no. have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/girlfriend? no, and i wouldn't unless it was jason and he was the one trying to kiss me. ever made out in a pool? no, but we might as well have that one time. do you have a pool? no, we had to sell ours for the money. are you an emotional person? too emotional anybody ever tell you that “you could do so much better” about a person? literally everyone tells me that?? how many full biological siblings do you have? full-blooded? just two. what is something you currently need to buy?  new tank tops for bed, badly. the last person you kissed asks you to marry him/her. how do you react? HA. no. apologize to me, number one, and fucking prove to me you won't leave again. do you wear hair extensions?  no, because i don't need them. how old were you when you started puberty? i have no memory of when i started. if you could have any magical power, what would you have? shape-shifting, i think. do you believe in love at first site? absolutely not. let’s say your dad came in your room one day and told you that you had to get married in the next week but you can pick the person but you have to stay with them for the rest of your life no getting out of it, who would you pick? "no getting out of it" my ass, i'd get out of it. he can disown my ass, whatever, i don't care. i take marriage way more seriously than that. if you could be the lead role in any movie, what would it be? honestly, i'd want to play a person driven crazy by events in her life. because same fam. when eating something are you more concerned with taste or nutrition? taste, honestly. what gender do you identify with? female, because i have a vagina. yes, i'm conservative about this matter. fight me m8. are you more of a science or math person? science, easily. what are your opinions on abortion? i'm viciously pro-life. if you identify as a girl, would you ever consider getting a pixie cut? no. please do not misunderstand this: i have no problem with bigger people, but generally, i find pixie cuts to look bad on bigger women like me. are you a metalhead? hell to the fuck yeah. do you even listen to metal? it's like... all i listen to. do you know anybody who is a wiccan or pagan? i'm pretty sure i know two or three wiccans do you watch supernatural? i don't anymore, 'cuz it's a ptsd trigger. it was the first show jason and i binge-watched together. stopped at the sixth season, i think. it's a really good show and i love it, i just tried to watch it one day, and i can't without him. what’s your favorite character in your favorite tv show? i'd say my overall favorite show is "fullmetal alchemist," so hmmm... shit man, i'm having a difficult time remembering all the characters. i feel like i really liked one of the seven deadly sins, i think it was greed? no... maybe envy? envy! the one i misgendered, lmao. i really like them. are you diabetic? i am not, but it runs in the family, so... where is the majority of your family from? mom's side, new york, dad's side, michigan. last person you slept in the same bed with? chelsea hate someone, who? i try so hard not to, but i'm pretty sure the feelings i have towards jason's current girlfriend is hatred. when was your first kiss? hmmmm. maybe like, may-ish four years ago? do you carry a purse? yeah. would you ever name a kid damien? it's a decent name, but no. bats are not spooky or are they? no no no, they're so precious!! especially flying foxes!! do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? both. depends on the mood. are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound? fuck no. i'm the person who looks at cake and gains 10 pounds. do you like hot dogs? i do, i just don't think of how they're made. do you watch american horror story? again, i used to, but don't anymore due to it being a ptsd trigger. we watched the first season and most of the second together. do you have sensitive teeth? no would you date someone you had a 16 year age gap with? NO what is your sexuality? heterosexual, some asexual traits do you think suits are sexy? kill me yes fucking christ do you think earrings are attractive or unattractive on guys? ehhhh, i'm kinda neutral with guys and earrings. would you ever have a threesome with your friend and their bf/gf? fuck no. so sorry to offend, but you don't fucking love your significant other if you're comfortable fucking someone else with them. i'd lecture the heavens out of my friend if they suggested that. have you ever kissed just a friend? on the cheek, yes. what was the last graduation you attended? my little sister's have you ever pole danced before? nope. have you ever broken into someone’s house? wtf, no. would you ever kiss your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend? no, because i have respect for their relationship and i don't "like" her husband like that. have you ever seen a live bat? hmmm, i may have at the zoo, but otherwise, i'm not sure!

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