#MRAs suck

[wild-at-mind]

Not to talk about MRA-lite spaces again but I'm going to need everyone to understand that in these spaces, the subtext of 'men don't get to talk about their problems' is ALWAYS 'and it is women's fault!'

[flutterbruttershy]

why are we entertaining the idea of misandry being a real issue for the love of dog i feel like im losing my mind

[soup-mother]

an under recognised aspect of US Hollywood cultural export is just how fucking frequently "divorced dad (who sucks) will stop at nothing to get his kids back no matter how much he traumatises the kids in the process" shows up as a plot in movies. MRA divorced nation for real

[seams-unusualbc]

but they synched their periods

BREAKFAST

[elyradpill]

a TIM raped a lesbian tiktoker who was his best friend and who's done a lot for the TRA community because she dared say she didn't like dick

That's what all trans "women" are like, MRA's who want to correctively rape lesbians into sucking their porn sticks

Don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise

Don't let them get near you

Don't let them near our woman spaces

[drdemonprince]

It’s also possible to pass as neither a man or a woman though. I dont call myselfTMA but I don’t use TME either because people see me as tall and hairy and effeminate. (No I am not saying all trans women are those things lol I am saying im not treated as a cisgender woman because of it.)

Like I live in Texas. I do agree with most of what you’re saying but people who disagree aren’t all MRA bros doing it to piss you off.

Also I do realize if I were a trans woman I might be taller or have a lower voice, those things make sense, but they don’t mean I pass as cis man OR cis woman

Oppression is so so so much more than just what strangers see of you when you walk down the street. That's a relatively small part of the experience structurally, legally, medically, relationally. If you are not a trans woman, you are TME, because you can enter into trans spaces and have it be known that you are not a trans woman, and people will view you differently based upon that knowledge. You can enter into women's spaces and make it be known that you are not a trans woman and people will treat you differently and grant you access to resources based on that. Legally, you are not a trans woman if you're not a trans woman. You're not going to be thrown in a men's prison. You can go to a queer party and not be accused of being a rapist. You're not as likely to get pedojacketed online. You can use Lex, you can go to women's spaces and trans/nonbinary spaces and not be seen as an anomaly. Your friends and family know that you are not a trans woman and so they don't use transmisogynistic tropes against you. You don't have to worry about a date finding out you are a trans woman in the middle of sex and turning violent against you. There are a lot of ways in which you do not experience what trans women experience. There are 5'2'' hairless trans women who experience structural transmisogyny and you don't. There's quite a few trans women like that. And I think if you cultivate respectful, mutually supportive deep relationships with trans women you know that it's not about height or hairiness, it's about hatred of trans women. Every person who is not a trans woman has a parachute out of the worst of structural transmisogyny, even if other aspects of your life are hard or suck or you experience gender based oppression.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

types of transfem gatherings

night life rave weed ketamine show at the cluuubbbbbbbb omg you HAVE to do it!!! everybody is white and skinny. music that gives you headache and random people might try to upskirt you and you basically cant be sober on entry if you want to have anything resembling a good time. will make you want to kill yourself for next three days after

queer nerd (tm) weekly meeting at the library or perhaps coffee shop :D bring your own warhammer, gunpla, and mtg because that is all we ever talk about. if you havent blown $2000 in the past week you are uninvited. 3:30 pm every wednesday

the suicidal friend group…. we went thru high school together but barely. we have no clue how to help each other because our lives all suck and we are all crabs in a bucket and we are going to be each others breaking point in like two years. please date each other out of pity to accelerate this to six months if you wish

local collection of friends, we are headed by a few 40yos and post regular invites to cool bdsm events! mostly chill. completely dead group chat except for the occasional selfie. oh youre interested in the events? yeahhhhhhhh sorry theyre all across the city at 12:30 am tomorrow evening and each one not happening after for another decade lol tough luck

we are an elevated group of marxist-leninist-transfeminist-perfectionists who offer a sisterhood of online community solidarity for all transgender women that have been deeply wronged by TME MRAs and- hold on is that a FACIAL HAIR with NO BOOBS??? eeewwww kill yourself disgusting male. we are ghosting you forever and ever and dont say a word to us til you get diy hrt all on your own (we are not saying how, you stupid tranny). love every trans woman you meet!!

[femceldogdyke]

its funny how a trans masc post abt experiencing misogyny gets a little bit of traction and alll of a sudden we need too shut up those mra transandrophobe truthing birthday boy theyfabs :)

edit: hey this isnt about trans women specifically its about anyone who denies transandrophobia. yes it sucks that SOME trans women are throwing us under the bus but that doesnt make them all evil!!!! shit i dont even think the ones that throw us under the bus are bad, just hurt and taking it out incorrectly.

[soup-mother]

"it sure would suck if we used their (transmisogynistic cyberstalkers) tactics against them" girl everyone would get even more transmisogynistic because people found out their favourite small bean MRA frequents kiwi farms

[tianasficrecs168]

Spideypool Fic Recs

A black dot • means it's a one-shot

A heart ♡ means it's focused on Sexy times (it's pure filth PWP)

Scarlett_starlett: “Are you sure you wanna’ love me?” (Wade/Peter) • Spider-Man is everything Peter Parker wishes he could be—witty, confident, loud, sassy, and sexy… This is no more apparent to him than when Deadpool walks past him without a second glance the first time they meet. It sucks, considering Peter Parker has an embarrassing crush on the ex-merc.

Dontcareajot: “Damage” (Wade/Peter) Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.

isaDanCurtisproduction: “Petey and Wade discuss the proper way to go about vigilantism (and maybe they fall in love too)” (Wade/Peter) Deadpool totally crashes Peter's lunch date with some left-overs Aunt May had inundated him with, and Peter is like "Woah, isn't that that murder guy?" and then it kind of spirals from there. And maybe when Peter first saw Deadpool, decked out with fuzzy panda gloves and enough guns to take down a small monarchy, he should have high-tailed it the other way, but where's the fun in that, right? Right???

Orphan_account: “You Big Disgrace” (Wade/Peter) a two-shot series Wade’s hanging by one leg from the firescape outside Peter’s seventh floor apartment, katanas sheathed on his back and a gun on each thigh - but he’s frozen like a deer in the headlights, as if Peter poses some sort of threat, standing like an idiot at the open window in sweatpants and no shirt, only a flashlight and a thin smattering of chest hair to defend himself.

ChuckleVoodoos: “Hot Cocoa and Heroes” (Wade/Peter) • When a strange hero breaks into his apartment to hole up for the night, Peter Parker is not pleased. And yet somehow he goes from swinging a baseball bat at the guy to sharing a mug of hot cocoa with him.

Zeropercent (orphan_account): “Clenched Teeth And Fluttering Eyes” (Wade/Peter) • The first time Peter sees Wade, really sees him, he doesn’t know what to think.

Cherryvanilla: “Wasn't looking for this” (Wade/Peter) a series, one of three When the Avengers had briefed him on Deadpool, they played up the Kills People for Money and Has No Real Morals angle and left out the Is Pretty Damn Funny and Charming in a Weird, Terrifying Sort of Way part. Or, five times they meet on rooftops plus one time they take it to the streets* (*with apologies to The Doobie Brothers).

        

Mokuyoubi: “One for the Books” (Wade/Peter) ♡ • And, like, there’s a million reasons NOT to do this, primary among them the whole it’s Deadpool thing and being in a library with the police outside, but Peter has a feeling this isn’t going to take very long, and they’ve been dancing around this forever. Wade gives a roll of his hips and Peter’s hands are suddenly working without his permission, rolling up Wade’s mask until the second his mouth is visible. MRA terrorists storm the library, and Peter is unreasonably jealous of how into his secret identity Deadpool seems to be.

Doctorestranged: “Dead Men Walking” (Wade/Peter) part of a series, one of four When a series of murders take place, Peter Parker goes undercover in Sister Margaret’s to get intel on Tony Stark’s prime suspect: Deadpool. Peter goes in hoping to get enough information so that Spider-Man can save the day, but like everything in Peter’s life, it becomes a bit more complicated than that and it soon becomes apparent that he might not be the best fit for the job.

Jilliancares: “Let me explain” (Wade/Peter) • Wade scoffs, shaking his head and elbowing Peter in the side. “Sure,” he says, sarcastic. “That’s why your spidey-sense doesn’t see me.” Peter’s on the verge of laughing, wanting to join Wade in his amusement, but he freezes. His entire body goes still. He finds himself staring at a roof three buildings over, not even looking at anything. Two blocks away, a car alarm finally shuts off. “I never told you that,” Peter says, the realization startling him. Or: Peter's starting to realize just how much Wade knows about him.

PrinceMalice: - “Break My Face” (Wade/Peter) • Deadpool died all the time. It was kind of a modus operandi with the mercenary. He was used to it. In a sick way, Peter was also used to it. The merc would take a bullet to the brain like a tic tac. No matter how gnarled or dismembered he became, Deadpool always pulled himself together, and it was normal. . Or four times Wade died saving Peter's life, and the one time Peter almost died saving his.

Riseofthefallenone: - “Puppy ex Machina” (Wade/Peter) A year after his divorce, Peter is trapped in a depressive cycle and still not quite over Mary Jane. When she shows up at his door, begging him to watch her dog for a week while she leaves town, he can’t really bring himself to say “no”. No one was expecting that little Pomeranian to turn his life around and help him realize that his friendship with Wade has been teetering on the edge of something more for a while.

[communistkenobi]

having been here as long as i have its deeply sad watching this site slide from caring about feminism into mra, and so many ppl acting like thats ok because its transmascs doing it. i had a mutual who i was really fond of and gradually watched as he started slipping into beinga transandrobro and i couldnt believe this was hapening to someone who i thought was cool. im always trying to stay educated as a transmasc because i care so deeply about this comunity and about my transfem friends irl and i never want to turn into a bigot in any wayshape or form

honestly idk if this site has ever been anything other than like milquetoast liberal feminist (which is often transphobic, just in a different way than like terf/right wing transphobia), like I don’t necessarily want to sign onto the idea that tumblr was ever “good” on trans issues per se. I remember how big transmedicalism was on here in 2015 for example, “trans trenders” and handwringing about people identifying as stargender, there was a lot of #NotAllMen posting a few years back etc. it seems like transandrophobia is just the new watch word for this type of reactionary milieu.

However I think maybe what is being picked up on is the ingenuity of the term transandrophobia. it invites people to identify with and participate in a set of “class beliefs” about oppression using common shared language that they otherwise wouldn’t have, much the same way the banner of ‘parental rights’* encourages otherwise unengaged people to actively politically identify as “a concerned parent” and articulate their grievances through the lens of parental rights. Which is not to say that transmascs are being tricked into believing this shit, but that there is now this space available to vent their frustrations, whether because they just have an ax to grind with trans women or their life does legit suck because being trans is hard, but in a specifically reactionary way

*NOT MAKING AN EQUIVALENCY WITH THIS COMPARISON. USING IT FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY

[euniexenoblade]

I'm transmasc and I don't think I completely understand the discussion around TMA/TME.

I'm pretty sure I mostly agree with you. Like, "transandrophobia" is not a helpful or accurate description of the transmasc experience, and I can see how it could be used to belittle what transfems go through.

Transfems definitely get more attention from hate groups. Transmasc erasure sucks, but it can definitely be a blessing when the bigots are picking their targets.

I keep seeing posts comparing trans men to incels and MRAs. I haven't seen many transmascs who would warrant that comparison.

That's not to say it's necessarily an unfair comparison. On the contrary, it probably means that there's a lot of transmisogyny going around that I'm not seeing. And if I'm not seeing it, that probably means I'm inadvertently participating in it.

IDK why I felt the need to send this to you. I guess I was hoping you'd tell me how to do better, which totally isn't your job. Feel free to ignore me and/or tell me to fuck off.

I'll send you $20 for tolerating my bullshit. Have a nice day.

Ok I wanna answer this before I get too high (I'm honestly feeling it already). Thank you for the $20, when I realized I forgot to pack a lunch today that money helped me eat still so legit thank you.

So first off, "trans women get more attention from hate groups, transmasc erasure sucks but can be a blessing." (I can't copy and paste on this screen, so I'm paraphrasing) yes but I wouldn't call erasure a blessing, no matter who it's for. They're two sides of a very fucked coin, on the one side transfems get lots of attention and vitriol, and the erasure of transmascs makes it harder for some transmascs to understand they can be trans. But on top of that, the form of transfems we see are never real representation, 99% of the time it's a transmisogynistic ideal of trans women, it's the weirdo white boy spreading lipstick all over their face just before they smash the mirror in a fit of "dysphoria" kind of shit. Though transfems have extreme visibility, our actual selves are not visible, we are ultra violet rapist horn dogs or we're the super ignorant, super emotional crybaby.

And, a side tangent, cuz you sorta did a thing the transandrodorks do that is frustrating. It's not a measurement of what's "worse." That's not how oppression works, that's not what we are saying, we are talking about the forms of oppression.

Men are not oppressed for being men. They can be oppressed for a variety of things, racism, ableism, interphobia (is this the right term I forget), homophobia, etc etc. Masculinity is rewarded, masculinity is the desire, patriarchy exists so men get to be above women. Things like "misandry" do not exist, they are inventions of violently misogynistic men, your MRAs, your incels, your conservatives (this includes liberals btw).

The person who coined "transandrophobia" used to talk about wanting to correctively rape lesbians. I'm not gonna go at someone's kinks, but the blog was not presented as a kink blog, I literally went there myself and read the posts when this first popped off and they come off as true lesbophobia in the context of their blog and coupled with the misandry posting, this person literally looks like MRAs and incels. The defense the community uses is "it's a kink are you kink shaming?? It was on a private locked blog!" Which, the latter, no it wasn't, I literally went there and looked, and the former. Idk I think if you're saying you want correctively rape lesbians while also talking about misandry and counting "transandrophobia," you look misogynistic and homophobic.

The main writers people follow for transandrophobia related content are straight up liars, who make shit up, and one specific non horse entity consistently cites himself as his own "source" and when he doesn't, he cites terf blogs that are connected to kiwifarms and sites of the sort. They will take bits talked about in feminism and present it as a thing they discovered and present it as transandrophobia. Ie. "Men can't show any femininity and can't cry and that's misandry" despite things like this are discussed at length in feminist texts, men can't do these things cuz that makes them more "woman" in the societal lens. Yeah it's fucked, but it's misogyny, not misandry.

I am, consistently, misgendered by the transandrodorks, and so is every other trans woman that disagrees with them. And it's definitely intentional.

Then there are token trans women who don't know much of anything about feminism or transphobia and will straight up harass you for saying women are oppressed. They often weaponize transmisogyny against other transfems, they misgender, suicide bait, or in velvetvexations case, will stalk your blog for two days even though you ignore her and when she's sees you're on a date with your wife, she goes to your wife's blog and starts messaging her instead. Legit, this woman is one of the worst people on this website, the only reason she's not seen as communismkills 2 is cuz men like her.

On top of this, terfs consistently support "transandrophobia" as a concept and constantly say that transandrophobia is compatible with terf ideology. The transandrodork community is ripe with terfs and crypto terfs. Like that one who said he hoped a friend and I get raped, cuz saying "men arent oppressed" warrants wishing rape on people. Or the trans guy that outright said "trans women are male" and tripled down harder saying "trans women don't experience misogyny and oppress transmascs cuz they're really men," claims that were so wild that even velvetvexations couldn't agree with them lol.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: not every person that believes in transandrophobia is a bigot or a bad person. A lot are just young transmascs who are under read about oppression and history, and this terf/transphobe community swoops in and pretends to be representing them and sucks them in. For every disparaging transmisogynist piece, there's two more that are talking about the problems of transmascs. So when you tell these guys "that's a hate group" they don't remember the post calling trans women men, they remember stuff about T being super illegal. So they think we are attacking them for having a problem, not the actual bigotry on display.

Honestly, if these people would just stop misgendering trans women, they might have more trans women who'd be nice to em. But that's the consistent trend.

Transandrophobia is a violent, transmisogynistic ideology that is propped up by terf ideology. That's why they are compared to MRAs and incels.

[velvetvexations]

it kinda annoys me how transmascs will go out of their fucking way to make sure they don’t step on the toes of transmisogyny when talking about transandrophobia, and then transfems repay that courtesy by referring to transandrophobia as stuff like “the bastard child of transphobia” (real quote)

Every other day I see my transmasc followers reblog things that made me personally roll my eyes into the back of my head and decide the OP was the most annoying person on Earth. And I regularly get anons that are like, well, there are all these complex reasons I think transradfems behave this way, because their situation is really bad and it confuses them and makes them scared and sad and lash out, and my response is always.

Yeah. But also they suck? They're bad people. Radfems are bad, horrible people who knowingly do bad, horrible things. They suck. And I regularly get worried my attitude towards trans radical feminism will make my followers decide I actually am riddled with internalized transmisogyny. No doubt I've lost several transmasc followers for being too aggressive, for the things I say being too potentially transmisogynyistic for them to be able to stand in good conscience, or even just generally too mean.

I keep repeating this over and over and over, but I have to keep saying "I learned about this because transmasc friends brought it to me so I could decide if it was bad or good for them" because no one ever listens.

They are so generous and eager to show up for trans women, and all they get is accusations of being MRAs who want to socially murder the people they constantly put first just because they try to talk about their own oppression too sometimes. Every day radfems like apricot-aligator tell thousands of high schoolers to call them slurs and never trust them or any other non-trans woman. It's so exhausting to watch. It feels like I'm having my soul exsanguinated.

I have to believe that despite everything Émile Zola was right when he said "If you shut up truth and bury it under the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way."

[plaidos]

Opinions on the Tboy Bomba discourse Roxy? (aka the "bomb that kills all transmascs" joke that made transandrobros lose their shit and even made a cis MRA report to the FBI the of transfem that made the joke)

i love that you call it the Tboy Bomba. i always call bombs (especially in videogames) The Bomba because of the adventure time episode where they get sucked inside BMO’s videogame. they call the bomb attack The Bomba and it’s a real earworm.

[woman-respecter]

OK, serious question. I'm a guy who wants to help "deradicalize" men. I'm not a "soft mra" as you have described in your blog. I saw your post about how it can be done more effectively by male allies. How do I help deradicalize men?

great question! i think there’s a lot that you can do! i’m not an expert on this but i think the main things are 1. call out men when they are being misogynistic, even if it’s just a little misogynistic or jokey 2. build a positive and healthy community with other men, bonus points if it’s offline, bc if this is a case of simple alienation (which i don’t entirely buy, but we gotta try it anyways,) that can make a big difference. 3. be understanding of women who may choose not to associate with men for whatever reason and 4. this one sucks and i wouldn’t want to burden anyone with it but if you can, attempt to reach out to men you know who *are* radicalized. start by forming a friendship with them maybe and once they respect you, try having a serious conversation with them about the ways they think about women.

thank you so much for being willing to help i really appreciate it <3

followers do uou have anything to add?