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miraculous-trinity-leo · 4 years ago

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Tᕼᗴ ᑕᕼᗩOTIᑕ ᗩᑎᘜᗴᒪ

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Chapter 3: Au Revoir Gotham My True Home

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Marinette explained what happened and that she didn't mean to cause trouble, she didn't know why the bats were looking for her (author to audience... it's because she looks like one of his bat kids gone rouge.) When she asked how they knew the Bat was looking for her, she found out that Selina was actually dating the Bat... So Marinette was very surprised at that, her family talked about it and a few days after her birthday she'll be going to Paris, France with Selina to be with a family friend of hers. Marinette was now really thinking she was cursed, but she made sure to take it in stride and spend as much time with her friends and family as possible.

"Doan wawhry suguh, we'll make sure tuh visit as much as possible, yuh can even visit us durin' summuh and wintuh break." - Harley held back the tears as she hugged Marinette, Bud, Lou, Ivy, Selina, Ed and even Frank joined in on it.

��…… ………

Marinette was out with her friends still not sure how to tell them, she started with the obvious.

"Sooo... tomorrow I turn 10... the double digits." - Marinette

"Soon you'll be one of us!" - Garfield gave Marinette a side hug with a big smile, god he made it harder to tell them

"So what do you want to do? We can celebrate, tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, heck we can celebrate for the whole week while we're at it!" - Garfield

Rachel noticed the sad smile Marinette had as Garfield continued talking.

"Is there something you need to tell us?" - Rachel's words stoped Garfield in his tracks, he then looked at a slightly teary Marinette, and he felt a slight tinge of pain in his chest.

"I- um, I'm moving this Saturday... I'm sorry I really don't want to, but- *hic* I-" - Marinette was cut off by Garfield giving her a hug, he rubbed small circles on her back as she let out a few sobs. Rachel patting her shoulder to try and comfort her.

After they were like that for a few minutes, they decided to get ice cream

……… ……… ………

"I'm sorry." - Marinette eating her chocolate chip ice cream

"It's not your fault Mari, besides, we can officially say we have a pen pal in Paris." - Garfield with his chocolate mint ice cream trying to lighten the mood, managed to get a chuckle out of Marinette.

"We can still video call, or text you. And your parents said you can visit on summer and winter break." - Rachel just starting her strawberry ice cream

"But what if I need a friend to talk to when I can't sleep? Or if I need a movie buddy? Or gaming buddy?" - Marinette

"There are online multiplayer games we can play you know." - Rachel

"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll make friends over there really quickly, I mean you already know a few other languages, including French, so there isn't any communication problems." - Garfield

"I wish you guys could come with me..." - Marinette almost done with her ice cream

"... Didn't you say you always wanted a hamster, maybe one that's unique, like a the rare Green Gotham Hamster?" - Garfield with a mischievous grin

"Selina's family friends own a bakery, so no pets allowed. Sorry Rare Green Gotham Hamster, I'm afraid you're staying native to Gotham." - Marinette said patting his shoulder.

"Wait they own a bakery?! As in you can be on a sugar high 24/7?! Take me with you!!" - Garfield

……… ……… ………

Soon it was time for them to go home, when Marinette got home, she continued packing what she would need, making sure that her Siren plushies where safely secure, and then went to eat dinner.

The next day she made sure to get up early, Garfield and Rachel knew where she lived, and wanted to make sure everything was ready for them, setting up the games they would play into the night, and the movies they would watch after that.

She then went to the Gardens to greet her Mom and the plants, doing the usual routine of checking all the plants, complimenting and watering them. During which a sleepy Harley walked over giving Ivy and Marinette a morning kiss before going to make her coffee.

At breakfast she didn't see her Aunt yet, she assumed she was robbing someone rich again.

……… Over to Catwoman ………

"Come ta mama." - Catwoman mumbled as she used her claws to cut the glass surrounding an old elegant purple sapphire that belonged to one of Gotham's founding fathers' wives.

……… Back to Marinette ………

About an hour after breakfast Garfield and Rachel came over, holding Marinettes' rapped presents, they started the day off with trivia games, which they called the MIQ (which can mean either Marinette Isley-Quinzel or in this case Memory Intelligence Quiz) which Marinette and Rachel came to a tie followed by Ivy, then Harley, and Garfield. They then moved on to board games, Marinette decided to play The Game of Life rather than Monopoly (because lets be honest, who has ever finished that game in the time of a signle day? An extreme speedrunner... maybe.) while the adults got the cake ready. Surprisingly Garfield won, he got the acting career, a sports car, a nice old fashioned mid modern house, a wife, and 3 kids... Marinette got the fashion designer career, got a motorcycle, and a small, but nice victorian house, a husband, and one kid... and Rachel got the scientist career (because science is just simplified mortal magic), a delorean car (and even said "Since science is magic I can make it fly, so technically, I don't need roads where I'm going."), a modern cabin in the woods, single (she didn't want a significant other to interrupt her magic science) and got a pet bird.

Once Selina and Ed came over, they began the party, playing games like DDR, Ultimate Mecha Strike 2, and Racing games.

When it came time for Marinette to blow out her candles, she wished that everything would be okay, and that she will be able to come back to Gotham permanently, and blew them out.

She then got to open her presents, she started with Harley's, and got a custom baseball bat that was a dark steel blue, with a light grey handle grip, and it had the words "Quinn For Da Win" on it, putting a smile on her face, when she opened Ivy's gift she got seeds of her favorite flowers to plant over in Paris. She then opened her Uncle Ed's gift, which was a small watch that had special A.I., it had a cover over the inside screen that would flip open to reveal another screen. The cover was silver with a blue question mark, and when it opened, it showed the time, and the location you where in, it could also act as a GPS, and a phone (it could even play music AND had an incredible battery life span). She then moved on to her Aunt Selina's gift, finding a small purple sapphire in the shape of a cat paw, surrounded in silver. She then opened Rachel's gift, it was a travel mug that said "Coffee lives in my veins." (Marinette started drinking coffee recently) which made Marinette laugh, and then she got to Garfield's gift. When she opened it, she found a handmade charm bracelet, it had animals that she really liked around it, and there was one that was a small tiger, with it's eyes and nose having a light green peridot stone, to represent the first day they met. She put the bracelet on her right rist and thanked Garfield for it, and gave everyone a big hug.

She spent the rest of the day playing with her friends, having a wonderful time, and getting a massive sugar rush from all the cake they had. When it came time for dinner they were running low on energy, but were back to normal after Harley snuck some coffee into their food... The only thoughts that went through Garfield and Rachel's minds where "That's why Mari drinks this stuff..."

After dinner they played all kinds of video games, and ended it by watching Back To The Future. They fell asleep some time after 2am.

……… ……… …….

The next morning they all had breakfast and then spent the day playing parkour tag over roofs and playing I spy games. And at the end of the day Marinette gave her friends a big hug, before heading back home. She spent her time with her moms, Uncle, and Frank, playing more boardgames and discussing what she should do to make friends...

"Just be yawhself, we love yuh fawh who yuh are, and I'm sure everyone in Paris will love yuh too... if dey doan, den dey most likely have a massive defective reject of a brain." - Was Harley's opinion

"Riddle the f-ck out of their brain, if they can solve all of them, and like you for you, then they are worthy." - Which was Ed's opinion

"Use a chemical based compound from the magnolia flower, combined with three tulip petals, one rose petal, and pollen from a lilac to create a befriending potion." - Ivy's words made everyone silent before Ed spoke up

"... Harley if you're being mind controlled blink." - Ed deadpaned, which had Marinette cackling

"I'm not bein' mind controlled, also yuh nawhmally say ‘blink once or twice’ not just ‘blink’ I could blink at any random interval and yuh woun't know what tuh tink, and here I thoughtcha were a genius." - Harley with her head on Ivy's lap as Marinette starts wheezing.

"I think y'all broke her." - Frank just pointed to Marinette as she was still cackling and wheezing while in the fetal position.

That's when Selina walked in...

"What the hell did you guys do to Kitten?!" - Selina dropping the bags she got from some high end shop, and after they made sure Marinette was still alive they continued their game... and Marinette may have actually written the list of ingredients for that position, but only as a last resort. When it was time for them to sleep Marinette spent the night with her moms, like she use to when she was 4.

She got up early to make sure everything was ready, she had her sketch book in her backpack, as well as some pencils, ear buds, snacks and a picture of her with her family and friends. She decided to wear her new watch and charm bracelet as she finished checking her bag, she then went into the garden to say goodbye to all the plants, and to give Bud, Lou and Frank one last goodbye. She had about 3 hours before her and her Aunt were to head to the airport, and she spent that time with her moms, almost never leaving their side.

……… ……… …….

As the plane took off she looked out the airplane window, saying goodbye to Gotham, until her next visit home....

•—–·★·–—•

Chapter 3 complete, also just in case I didn't describe her B-day gifts good enough, here's what they look like (꒪꒳꒪)

Hope you're all having an amazing day, staying safe and rockin' all positive vibes,!BUG-OUT! 💮🐞💮

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @jumpingjoy82

2nd Place★: @myazael

3rd Place★: @solangelo252

@fandom-trapped-03, @zorua-adorable, @blueblossombliss, @thefangirlwholiterallydies, @woe-is-me0, @lady-bee-fechin, @jayjayspixiepop, @kashlyn, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @buginetye, @our-preciousss , @vroomtaka, @alessialeone6997

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teaveetamer · 3 years ago

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Ok more Triangle Strategy stuff. Again, I’ve only completed one ending (the Benedict one).

1) Holy shit Cordelia and Avlora are gay. I don’t wanna be like “female Dimidue” since obviously they’ve got none of the history and not even a quarter of the homoerotic bonding, but... lesbian lord/knight dynamic. Nice.

2) Benedict’s route revealing that he did this whole thing just because he wanted to fuck Serenoa’s mom is... weird. At least I assume he wanted to fuck Serenoa’s mom unless they pull a surprise! they were siblings! thing again.

The reveal that he just like. fuckin’ hates Symon and Regna for apparently treating a woman we never see and who died decades ago like a pawn doesn’t... doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Like up until the very, very end I was dead curious to see how/why Benedict would end up leaving the party since his one thing the entire game is being unfalteringly loyal to Wolffort no matter what. I can absolutely see why rolling with Fredrica in the final decision would earn his ire, since what she proposes basically abandons Wolffort territory entirely, and spits in the face of what Symon wanted and all the work he’s done to keep shit together throughout the game. (I assume the endings are Fredrica/Roland, Roland/Benedict, and Benedict/Fredrica, at least, right?). I mean Benedict is singlehandedly keeping this entire operation afloat throughout the entire plot since no one else has any idea what they’re doing. Likewise, I can see why he would want to side with Aesfrost over Hyzante as a matter of practicality. Hyzante, with a monopoly on salt, could be a real danger to the people of Wolffort and Serenoa especially, since they’ve already decided once to enslave an entire group of people to hide the presence of salt elsewhere. But also why he would probably stick with Serenoa if he picked Hyzante, since submitting now does not necessarily have to mean submitting forever, and if they live to fight another day they can deal with the fallout then. Basically, he really didn’t need the extra justification of really hating Symon/Regna and wanting to fuck Serenoa’s mom to drive him into wanting to side with Aesfrost.

3) I still can’t get over how dumb the “Serenoa and Roland are siblings” thing is. I mean, I genuinely cannot remember any instance of that being foreshadowed at all. Maybe I’ll see it upon replaying but IIRC no one is like “gee sure is weird that Symon got married so fast and had a kid like right away” and there’s even an NPC that tells Serenoa the story of how happy and proud Symon was at Serenoa’s birth. And like NPCs constantly talk about how much Symon loves Serenoa and how proud Symon was/is/would be of Serenoa if he could see him now, so Benedict being all “they treated you and your mother like a pawn!” just seems like... really untrue.

4) Ok ok I said I was going to be more positive. I do really like the battle system, and I like how forgiving it is. I messed up the last fight of the Benedict route (bad TP management) and got Erador killed (who is basically necessary for this map) via mages, and I did not realize the game not only lets you restart from the beginning, it even lets you keep the EXP you earned so you can try again, still progress and get stronger, and not have to waste time grinding on Tavern maps.

5) THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THE AUTOSAVES. My game crashed on that one level near the end, the one with the minecarts where the Aesfrosti soldiers are trying to blow the place up? Like not even shitting you, four enemies from the end of that map the game crashed and I was in near tears thinking I was going to have to restart all over from the beginning (and that map is fucking annoying), but turns out it makes quicksave data constantly so I just had to redo like a few movements.

6) I’m guessing I didn’t get all the notes with extra worldbuilding info, but I actually do quite like what they did with them. They were informative without really feeling unnecessary. Admittedly, even though I did call salt being in the mine from chapter 1, I was kind of back and forth on committing to the guess until I read some of those notes that really hammered home just how scarce and how important salt actually is on this continent.

7) The entire plot of this game would crumble if these guys were like five feet closer to an ocean lmao.

8) Ezana can fucking step on me.

9) Next playthrough is going to be really weird, considering I made like no major utility decisions my entire playthrough but wound up being very utility aligned anyways. Assuming the colors on the voting screen actually align to the proper convictions though, I guess that won’t make me going for a lot of utility decisions next playthrough a problem? Since Benedict’s route is presented as red (liberty?) and Roland, who I plan to do next, is presented as the Utility option.

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meet-me-in-the-pouringrain · 4 years ago

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Good evening I’m currently crying about the Cullen Family dynamic I have concocted in my head.

- Carlisle and Jasper sitting down together to better educate their old asses on the social conducts / normalities today.

- Esme and Rosalie taking nature walks together and just talking. Mother - Daughter day. Sometimes, if she wants, Alice joins them.

- Emmett fully starting all out battles be it Nerf, snowball or water balloons early in the morning and all of them throw caution to the wind and join in. It usually ends in couple v couple with Edward off to the side in a huff until Bella joins and fuckin obliterates every single one of them.

- Jasper, Emmett and Edward (when he’s not being so annoying) embrace their brotherly relationship. They wrestle, argue, throw things and fight but it’s usually all in good fun. Until Eddie gets pissy then it’s real.

- Carlisle bonds with the kids when they are turned and makes it a point to do it as often as he can after. With Bella, he sits and discusses Literature for hours, with Alice they discuss her visions and he helps her delve into her past, Emmett (don’t tell Esme) he helps him Scheme, Jasper ^^^^, Edward they barely talk now that Bella is in the picture but when they do they could be up there for hours talking about whatever. He tried with Rosalie but she scares him.

- Esme makes it a point to spend time with the kids too. She and Emmett discuss their farm lives and debate over easier methods, Alice tries to style her differently every summer, Bella and her cook, Jasper usually prattles on for hours about horses and whatnot and Esme smiles patiently unwilling to tell him her farm was a vegetable one and not animal. Sometimes he just wants to be near her because she had the Best Vibes , Rose and her bond over their trauma at first but it slowly morphs into idle chatter about nothing. Edward, in my head, clings onto Esme more than anyone thinks because she reminds him of Elizabeth and usually is just around her while Esme is busting herself with design or painting.

- They honour Esme’s Jewish heritage along with Carlisle’s Anglican beliefs every December and have a mix of the two holidays. Rosalie, Bella and Alice spends hours every November making a menorah for Esme from scratch whereas Emmett, Jasper and Edward tackle the Christmas decorations. Emmett is on light duty. Alice spends hundreds of dollars buying matching clothes and pyjamas for all the Cullens.

- Esme and Bella spends hours in the kitchen whipping up Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner for the pack. Esme also makes various meals for Bella to take to Charlie while they still lived in forks.

- Whenever Carlisle decides to scold one of the children for one stupid stunt or other someone is guaranteed to bite back “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”

- Emmett calls Esme “Momma” and Carlisle “Pops”. He’s the only one who refers to them that way. But Renesmee called them Nana and Poppy.

- She has nicknames for everyone. Rose is Rosey, Jasper is Jassy, Alice is Alley Cat (Alice thought of it herself and was so proud she tried to get every one to use it. Nobody does) Emmett is Emmy. Bella is simply Mom and Edward is Dad.

- Edward is fucking nice to Rosalie in my head and they have a tradition every December to personalise baubles for the other. 2008 had Rosalie make “Listen to Rosalie next time” whereas Edward made one that stated “you were right”

- Fun Fact! Vampires can smoke weed and drink alcohol in my head. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper definitely were/ probably still are smokers. Alice claims it helps her ignore visions when she doesn't feel up to it, Jasper says it helps ignore the emotions emitted by everyone. As soon as he heard that, Edward jumped on the bandwagon and immediately regretted it.

- They can also drink. One bottle of alchohol and they’re all bladdered. The venom sobers them up quickly but hell if Emmett doesn’t make it hard.

- Jasper and Emmett started a weed farm and did in fact start dealing at their school. Once Esme caught wind, however, all hell broke loose because. "You're hundreds of years old Jasper, you should know better!" "What about Emmett" "HE'S EMMETT"

- The Cullens are forced once a month by Esme to have a game night. Not monopoly though, she's still mad over the fact they had to move from Boston because Rose threw Jasper out of the window.

- Alice in retaliation makes them all have a movie night once a month. Once they had a vampire marathon. They put on Dracula, Interview with a vampire, Hotel Transylvania for Nessie and finally They binged Buffy the Vampire slayer. After the first five episodes, Carlisle almost spontaneously combusts and Edward convinces himself that somehow Angel was modelled after him. Bella threw the TV out of the window.

- Renesmee once suggested a huge game of hide n seek. Her and Jacob (who did NOT FUXKING IMPRINT THANK YOU) were the seekers. She found Carlisle and Esme after a few minutes, her parents after 10, Rosalie an hour later, Alice they didn’t find for a week, Jasper was about two weeks and they still hadn’t found Emmett after a month. He convinced Seth to go with him so Alice couldn’t cheat and they each phone at least once a day. He just giggles and hangs up.

- Rose eventually snaps and she and Leah (look I feel she’d get along best with Rose idk why) head out to find him. She comes back a day later with a sheepish and petulant Emmett behind her.

- Edward has written piano pieces for every woman in the coven. Esme actually has about 20 because Edward’s indecisive ass couldn’t sit still when it was the three of them but she’s memorised them all and hums a tune or two when she’s painting. Rose has 5 because he found his music calmed her in the early days, Alice has two and Bella + Nessie have just the one. Edward cries daily about it.

- Emmett was the one who instigated Mothers/Fathers day. He asked Rose and EmoFuck one day what they did for them and Edward had a panic attack while Rose zoomed out the house to go get Esme a bunch of flowers. They celebrated it ever since.

- Bella + Alice + Emmett blasting “Am I a Man or am I a Muppet” on repeat both out loud and in their heads just to fuck with Edward.

- When hunting, Esme has a tendency to climb a tree and just sit and wait for her husband to walk past. As soon as he’s in her eyesight she ‘falls’ onto him/next to him. She fake breaks her leg and he reverts into Doctor Cullen. The coven in absolutely mortified by this and the two love it. They embrace their embarrassing parents act willingly.

- The Cullens have a naughty corner. The two most frequent users are the Choas triplets; Alice, Emmett and Bella. Carlisle has been put in the corner multiple by Esme for his own stunts- such as turning Rosalie for Edward- and once Esme was put in the corner by Carlisle. They won’t disclose what she did but the next time they were all together in town, a group of Drag Queens came up to Esme and asked where she got her body glitter from.

- The Cullens learning from their past mistakes with the Werewolves and being godsends to the communities they live in. Esme baking and cooking food and donating the lot of it, Rosalie helping out at preschools and kindergartens and being called “Miss Rosie” by half the kids, Bella tutoring students in English, Alice donating clothes to women’s shelters, Edward giving music lessons, Carlisle donating money to those in need. Emmett being that guy who protects all the women from creeps, Jasper helping the quiet kids out with confidence boosts, Renesmee just being an all round kind person and the one who can make friends anywhere.

- When they leave Forks for the last Time, Carlisle donates a huge check to the Tribe with a letter giving gratitude and apologising for everything. Billy cried and Sue had to take the cheque and spread it amongst the tribe.

- Jacob continued phasing for the next 20 years, he regularly takes trips to wherever the Cullens are living to visit Bella and Ness. Whenever it happens, Alice buys him a whole suitcase full of shorts and jeans, Esme bounces of the walls in excitement, Emmett loses his shit and Bella is insufferable but they don’t seen Rosalie or Edward of a day for however long he stays. He eventually stops phasing when Billy passes.

#twilight saga #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #rosalie cullen #rosalie hale #jasper hale #jasper cullen #alice cullen #bella swan

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quillfeather21 · 4 years ago

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Class 1A Dorms Headcanons

(Theses kiddos are all disasters. Please someone save Aizawa)

1/ A little while into the dorm system, the kids started realizing that while it was great and all. The dorms did not have all the stuff their individual diets needed. Kirishima needed iron and thus had resorted to chewing ice at all hours of the day (effectively scaring Todoroki), Momo had ate an entire thing of coconut oil, Bakugou at one point had dumped salt into his mouth, effectively kidnapping the salt shaker. Aizawa just looked at them and was like “why didn’t you tell me?” Their response? None of them had thought that far.

2/ they can’t play competitive games because SOMEONE (cough Bakugou cough) takes them personally and throws hissy fits whenever something doesn’t go his way. Monopoly was the first game to be banned by Aizawa (Bakugou had to give Kaminari money one too many times), Poker following the day after (Iida had a royal flush and didn’t even realize it. Bakugou’s scream of rage could be heard from the other end of the campus)

3/ They all completely forgot that maintenance existed for a reason and thought Aizawa would be disappointed if they broke stuff so they just... did DIY repairs themselves and hoped it didn’t break any further? The microwave shakes whenever someone uses it but hitting it a couple of times usually clears that up. They have to keep the kitchen faucet facing right at a 45° angle otherwise it won’t work but it’s cool they taped the pipe up with Sero’s tape. The dryer makes a funny noise and no one uses it after dark but Tokoyami preformed an exorcism on it so they should be cool.

4/ tried to hide a cat PLUS her kittens. Bakugou found the cat while running and then she had her kittens under his bed so whoops guess what? He claimed himself The Godfather of the cat’s kittens and the rest of the class decided they were aunts and uncles. Koda named them Honey (Mama Cat), Earl Gray, Chamomile, and Peppermint (the kittens). Aizawa KNEW something was up when Midoriya shoved something into his coat when Aizawa made a surprise visit and when asked he tearfully told him it was drugs

Aizawa: problem child what’s in your coat?

Midoriya, hiding Chamomile in his coat: d-drugs?

He helped them find homes for the kittens (taking Chamomile himself because she was the classes favorite) and Honey/Mama Cat/ Little Bitch (who came up with that nickname? Guess) becomes the resident dorm cat.

5/ Movie Nights are an hour long debate because NO ONE CAN AGREE ON ANYTHING. If Iida wants to watch a documentary, Kaminari wants to watch Avengers for the fifth time. Bakugou wants to watch a few episodes of a crime show? Midoriya wants to watch an Reality show. They had to make a list where everyone wrote what they wanted to watch down and they’re just going down the list. If it’s not your night suck it up and wait your turn like a good hero hopeful.

6/ Has a betting pool for everything. Betting pool for when KiriBaku would get together? Kaminari won that one. Betting pool for who’d pass the next test? Whoops give it to Midoriya he guessed right.

7/ Has so many groupchats. And Bakugou is somehow a part of them ALL. One is the main chat. Then there’s the homework help chat, the shitty parents chat, the blond and fabulous chat, the guy chat, the LGBT chat (which is really just the main chat but they bitch about their crushes), the mental illness chat, the more expresso less depresso chat, the gym rat chat, the girl chat (Bakugou got added to help settle a debate and just... never really left? He could at anytime but watching the girls bitch about how stupid the guys is HILARIOUS because he’s like same?)

8/ Crying is not allowed because if someone sees you cry it’s only a matter of time before 1- Midoriya and Kirishima start crying because they’re both empathetic criers. 2- KODA starts crying and summoning animals to try and cheer the person crying up. 3-Everyone tries to comfort the person crying and it just turns into a mess of tissues being shoved towards people and people tripping over one another to try and help.

9/ If things get too domestic and fluffy then they have to go on a Bakugou Hunt because Bakugou gets nervous because many emotions? How feel? How react? Positive vibes, in THIS economy? And so he goes into hiding and wouldn’t be seen until found. (He shoved himself under his desk at one point, sitting there scrunched up as far back as he could go, having an existential crisis about having positive friendships? No one screaming at him? Wow this is shocking.)

10/ Thunderstorms are awful and evil and Aizawa suffers. His entire class hates thunderstorms for different reasons and he is the one to deal with it. They usually just camp out in the common room together wielding flashlights and phones as weapons against the evil darkness that comes with thunderstorms.

11/ Plants. Plants everywhere. Momo likes plants for the design quality, Bakugou uses herbs to cook so he plants herbs and takes care of them, and Todoroki? He has his orchid that he takes care of almost religiously. If you hurt his orchid, touch his orchid, or even look at his orchid wrong? Prepare to die.

12/ Have gotten kicked out of multiple stores one way or another. (Sero and Kaminari, why did you challenge Bakugou to a light saber duel? “For the lols”)

13/ Had a six week long streak of tag. It was nothing to see them sitting calmly in class and then Bakugou would place his hand on Hagakure’s shoulder and go “tag”. All hell would break loose as people scrambled to get away from whoever was tagger.

14/ Got rid of the old fashioned tea kettle in favor of a Keurig after Todoroki refused to go into the kitchen because of the kettle.

15/ Momo is class mom and Iida is class dad. The respective squad parents always go to them before doing anything batshit crazy.

16/ Would murder for any of their friends, no questions asked.

17/ There is one spot on the common room floor that is called “Bad Spot”. No one touches it with their feet, socked or not, no one puts anything there, no furniture, won’t even STAND there. They will go AROUND the Bad Spot. Aizawa was so confused when Bakugou shoved him out of the way and only offered “that’s the bad spot” as an explanation.

#mha headcanons #class 1a #class1a Headcanons #Aizawa’s crazy kids #they’re all disasters

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pikaflute · 4 years ago

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hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym.

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you.

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him. he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

#metalocalypse #charles foster offdensen

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ifyouknowme-stayaway · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for April Fool's Day

Don't you just love April Fool's Day? I joined my very first event on April 1st, I think, so I wanted to do something this year as well

Kayano once pretended to know how to to play the piano for a role in a movie and actually had to play a song during a scene. She did not know how to play the piano

Legit just speedran learning how to play that one specific song in like 3 days

Memorized all the hand positions since she can't read sheet music and can still kinda play it now

Had to sing for a movie audition once but couldn't remember any songs so she sang happy birthday. She still got the part

Gakuho played video games once or twice after being kicked out of principal-ing and Kanzaki beat him in the game quite brutally

He never even stood a chance

Sugaya paints all over his room. His ceiling is galaxy. He painted a forest on his favorite wall. There is no escape from the smell of paint

His second favorite wall has a big chalkboard on it and he and the rest of the Art Trio doodle on it all the time

If Sugino and Maehara ever meet each other on their way to school they try and race each other into the classroom. Kimura almost always manages to come in from behind and win, because he was racing with Okano behind them

Itona and Hazama are lowkey cat magnets. Tgang leaves them alone at the park for 5 seconds and they already have 2 new cat friends

They are also crow magnets but that's just cause they always feed a murder of them once a week and now the crows love them

Kayano and Itona have good senses of smell so sometimes they walk into a room with food and try to guess what it is

Once it was something neither of them actually knew, but still guessed "whatever it is, the sauce is red"

(They were right)

Isogai and Maehara became friends so long ago that neither of them really know when they became friends, so they can't truly celebrate the anniversary of their friendship

Maehara's solution is to simply celebrate it on random days throughout the year

Yoshida and Hara on the other hand

Also don't know when their friendship's anniversary either

However he is mentioned in Hara's old diary, so they picked the page mentioning Yoshida that was dated the earliest, and decided to celebrate that for their anniversary

They both have it marked on their calenders

As per (am i using that phrase right?) this post, the class celebrate Nakamura and Karma's birthdays on April Fools as a joke

Fuwa and Takebayashi have a running joke of greeting each other with a line from a manga/anime and seeing if the other recognizes it

And then the other responds with another line from the same series

Fuwa: Go, go, let's go, let's go, Dateko!!

Takebayashi: rolling thunder!!

Sugino has doodles of the entire class scattered about in his notebook

While Nagisa's is fairly detailed, Karma's consists of 3 shapes: a circle with 2 devil horns on it

Once Kimura pranked the class and then framed Karma and Nakamura

Hara's little brothers legit love playing with Yoshisa when he comes over. Like he can drive a motorcycle and in their eyes that's just the Epitome of Coolness

Yoshida's older sister and Hara bond over teasing and jokingly complaining over the dumb stuff Yoshida does

Hara and Yoshida have gotten so much blackmail on each other over the years

Itona is annoyingly good at keeping a poker face during blackjack

Kayano is the most likely to cheat at card games in group 4. Everyone suspects Karma too much for him to cheat and the rest are mostly pretty fair in card games

Nakamura constantly tries to marry people during monopoly to have more money

I have only just now realized that Ritsu probably knows Every Meme in Existence and i just feel like that's a nice fact by itself

93% of Maehara's conversations with his sisters are just teasing each other mercilessly. The other 7% is gossiping about their classmates

Chiba is always dragged into pillow fights by his siblings, joke's on them though cause he can accurately throw pillows at them from across the room

Under no circumstances may Sugino's little brother be left alone with Karma. The two of them really hit it off after the kid picked up when he tried to prank call Karma from Sugino's phone, and then they both tried to prank call each other instead

Karma, Kayano, and Sugino give each other very stupid dares all the time. Kanzaki pretends to be against this but secretly dares them to do something more chaotic. Okuda can sometimes be convinced to let them do it if given the right reasoning ("for science!") and also some safety precautions. Nagisa lowkey regrets making friends that don't have any common sense

Nakamura once had a dream when she was 10 that her mom threw her into a ball pit and she couldn't get out. Then a guy gave her candy, and told she was in North Korean and couldn't get out. It's been in her top 5 scariest dreams ever since

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #i aint tagging everyone #most of them only got a couple mentions and im not gonna clog up their character tags #ahhh man i love and hate april fools day #i love it bc i remember joining the april fools day event for ac ages ago and i was really proud #i sorta dislike bc its my birthday and like. its weird since im supposed to eat something nice but i dont know what to ask for #plus i never know what to ask for for a birthday present #mmm #nice #at least no school #OH RIGHT #IM 14 NOW #if i want to i can swear now :D

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internalsealpanic · 4 years ago

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Hug Tutorials

summary: Constantine is stuck baby sitting. Not exactly his area of expertise. So how is he supposed handle a feral 8 year old? Help comes from an unexpected source.

A/n: I am pretty new to the Hellblazer fandom so forgive the characterization. I own nothing except Ruta (in all his bratty glory) and the plot. Maya belongs to the wonderful @birdy-bat-writes who is a wonderful human being. This thing is kind of part of a crack au me and Riya have been brain storming. I will probably edit or rewrite this later. Yes, I need a better title.

warnings: awkward hugs, implied child neglect, and a lot of swearing

word count: 1,709 (This is actually really short.)

Ruta knows it hadn't started out like this.

He remembers when his mother used to try and help him read. She tried her best but the shapes on the page just made no sense to him. Not the way it did for Raffie or Mimi.

He tries memorizing the words she said to him and parroting them back to her. It works! For awhile...

He also remembers the walks to the park and how they'd listen to him about transparent people.

They probably think he's too young to notice the change.

His mom's slowly cut back on their nightly reading sessions opting for game night with his siblings. They were playing monopoly and that required a little too much reading for him to play.

They haven't read together in months. Maybe he's the only one keeping track.

He still tells them about the transparent people and now he tells them about the shadowy people but now they simply nod out of time with what he says. They used to be better at pretending and nodding in time with what he said.

His dad got mad at him once when he started crying about the shadow people when they were at the market. He shook him, just a little, just enough to make him feel woozy, looking red with embarrassment. Ruta felt bad about it. He felt really horrible about embarrassing his dad that he decided never to mention them again even when they got too close.

The good news is he now had Count Von Bon Bon who listened and read aloud to him. He wasn't allowed inside the house because he was such a big bird but when they went outside he kept the shadow things away.

He doesn’t need anyone else. He’ll be ok.

-------------

If you asked John Constantine how on Earth he found himself in the mess, he'd likely give you a dumbfounded look, shrug, and mumble something about being too sober.

But in all honesty, how does one find themselves watching their 8-year-old charge about to throw hands with not one but two Green Lanterns who should know better?

Ruta stood , small and imperious, with his little arm crossed and his head thrown back after a great laugh. "I'd like to see ya do it, dumb carrot headed shit!"

Guy, looking as red as, well, Sinestro, looks like he's about to deck the kid. "Oh, I'm gonna,"

John with all the good sense he's got fumbles over to the tiny terror. "Sorry 'bout that lil' Ruta 'ere's just a bit nippy from 'avin' to wake up early. Yanno 'ow kids are,” He grabs the kid by his sweater who makes a little squawking noise not too different from his devastatingly posh familiar who would have been really helpful right now. The kid wriggles a little, trying to claw John's hand away from the sweater. He pauses and John thinks that maybe, just maybe, the kid had gotten some sense knocked into him.

Unfortunately for him, John Constantine is one unlucky bastard.

With the smarmiest grin plastered on his little face, Ruta slips out of the, admittedly, ill-fitting sweater. The kid basically sprinted back toward the lanterns who, by the way, still looked pissed as all hell.

"Oh for the love of-" John is honestly going to pop a blood vessel. He grabs the kid's arm since the kid despite his speed hadn't made it far.

Ruta did not have the expected reaction. He froze. Breath seizing. Body going rigid. John thought about letting go but thought better of it.

"Ruta-"

Ruta begins to thrash violently and make petulant noises. John rolls eyes even as the kid snarls a few colorful words. "Yer gonna hafta do bettern’ that lad if-"

CHOMP

"Sonuva! Zee, a little help would be appreciated, love,"

"Sorry John, I’ve got no clue about how Maya usually gets him to settle down,"

Well, that helped.

Justice League members gather in bewilderment as they watch Constantine let out a string of curses as he tries to pry Ruta off his arm. The kid's teeth were actually digging into his flesh. John is pretty sure he would rather be fighting off all the demon's he's encountered over the years than be here, right now, getting his flesh torn.

Bats and Supes enter the room. Now, John normally didn't give a rat's ass what those two thought but there was a special kind of embarrassment that comes with a tantruming child. He now had a little more sympathy for people with kids in grocery stores.

The next few seconds are hard to process.

Bats discussing something about Earth's defenses with Supes wordlessly walks over to John, pats Ruta on the head, the kid- miraculously- relinquishes his death grip on John's arm, and in a disturbingly fluid motion Bats scoops him up into his arms, settles Ruta on to his hip, walks back to his conversation as if nothing happened.

The kid makes a brief distressed noise and a weak attempt at fighting before huffing and wrapping his wreathy little arms around Bats’ neck as Bats rubs circles on his back.

God, the kid looked so small all of a sudden. Had Ruta been that tiny this whole time?

He looked a little relieved aside from his face which was red and screwed up like all his effort was being devoted to trying not to cry. His breath is still uneven but it was settling down. He’s limp against Bats. For once, he looked like he wasn't about to turn tail and run or to tell someon to fuck off or bite someone's face off.

Fuck, when was the last time the kid looked so relaxed?

The newer league members watch with a mix of awe and confusion while the older ones shake their head and murmur something about not seeing that in a while.

It takes a few minutes, the entire conversation actually, for Batman to realize that all his kids are too big for him to comfortably carry like this even with his size. He panics thinking he accidentally kidnapped a young child. It takes him a moment longer to realize who it is.

"How the fuck did you manage that?" John finally stiffles out, awe clear in his voice.

Batman glares at John for cursing in front of the kid.

"Wot? He’s said worse,"

"That’s cus you’re a fucking cunt," Ruta mumbles his cheek still smooshed into Bats' shoulder. Bats looks as stone faced as ever but from the frown tugging at his lips he seemed mortified but he made a grunt that sounded more nostalgic than reprimanding. Batman adjusts his hold on the kid looking like he was honestly debating on whether to keep carrying the kid around and keep working or give him back to the clearly inexperienced Constantine. He decides it was probably best to give him back to Constantine but a part of him just really wanted to keep holding the little one trembling in his arms. When was the last time he held someone this small. It kind of reminded him of when Jason was small right down to the fowl mouth.

Ruta clearly also doesn't want to let go. Bats is sturdy and surprisingly warm. He looked like he would cry if he let go. The kid’s knuckles were white from gripping Bats’ cowl for Christ’s sake. Sadly, Igris, his annoyingly posh familiar, shows up from who the fuck knows where.

"Little prince, this is no way to behave," He admonishes in an eerie vernacular that was only barely understandable due to exposure. Ruta's face grows hot from embarrassment and with a nod he extricates himself from the caped crusader's arms.

The kid definitely looks like he's about to cry but he mutters a glum ‘Yes, Count Von Bon Bon’.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" John asked. God, he needed a smoke.

"I've been watching over Maya as the little prince had asked," John gives him a questioning look. "I got bored" The bird adds, shrugging in an oddly human manner.

Ruta extricates himself looking sheepish but mostly tired. Kid has probably been stressed and on adrenaline for a while. The sudden feeling of safety just made him crash.

John hesitantly wraps his arms around the kid. The kid freezes but hugs back hesitantly. John tries to lift the kid but the kid stiffens. John honestly had no idea how to hold this kid. He maneuvered his hands clumsily around the kid. Ruta made no objections but he was clearly uncomfortable.

"No. You have to support both of his back and legs. Sometimes you have to lean back a bit to get them to so he leave into you- yeah just like that," Bats instructs, sounding oddly gentle. His usual gravel absent. It kind of scared John, to be honest, so he did his best to follow along.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

At some point, Maya shows up after her ‘date’ with Damian- not much of a date when there are a bunch of people watching you- and finds Bruce coaching John on how to hold a tired elementary schooler who was drooling on John's favorite beige coat. She tried her best to stifle a laugh. Thankfully, she didn't have to try too hard.

"EXCUSE ME????? B, since when were you a child whisperer?" Dick exclaims as dramatically as humanly possible. Damian and Tim radiated second hand embarrassment while Jason just plays it like he doesn't know his older brother. Maya guessed that if Bruce wasn't used Dick he would be cringing too.

"Nightwing, I've had more than 5 children. I believe I know how to handle children,"

"Uhuh- sure, B. Whatever you say,"

Bruce makes a neutral grunting noise.

"Please tell me you're not adopting that one,"

"Of course no-"

"Yeah sure, B,"

"He's- He's Constantines,"

"Tt, father, you are a terrible influence,"

It is a spectacle to watch Bruce's kids team up on him.

Maya shakes her head and laughs before heading over to John.

“Well, bring me a biscuit and call me Christy Bats’ was right” He mutters rocking the feral child. Ruta’s little arms wrap around him a little tighter.

“‘Course he is, Christy. He’s Batman,” Maya drawls smiling innocently.

"Please never leave him with me again,"

"Dunno, Christy. Looks like you're doing fine,"

tag list:

@idkmanicantenglish (You said any DC content)

@birdy-bat-writes (You enabler)

#john constantine #dc fanfiction #DC comics #parenting #ocs #batman #batfam #good parenting #bad parenting #angst #my wriitng #robins #zantanna zatara

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totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes · 5 years ago

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Another Segment of Headcanons I have

but don’t have an explanation for

1) Lydia is the kind of person that plays favorites of her animal crossing villagers but if she doesn’t like one she will hit them with an axe and wait for them to want to leave

2) She will pronounce certain words slightly incorrect just to annoy people...just as a power move

3) While Barbara is often associated with “traditional hobbies” (and you can pry the fact that Barbara has a garden from my cold-dead hands) she also has osme really strange hobbies...idk what the specific vibe I’m getting is, I’m thinking something like archery

4) Lydia has blamed lost (not done) homework assignments on Beetlejuice MANY times

5) Lydia is allergic to penicillin. Idk why, I don’t know, but she is

6) Adam took Latin in high school, encouraged Lydia to as well because she thought she would like all the connections to the “strange and unusual”, Lydia was crushed when her school didn’t offer latin, so Adam got her Duolingo

7) Lydia fears the Duolingo owl

8) Delia and Charles do couples yoga

9) Silence in the house is a BAD SIGN

10) Lydia is good at math and science, but she isn’t a fan of medical science (or anything to do with dissections) she loves Chemistry. It started out as her being fascinated with the chemistry behind photography

11) Her first camera she can remember is long broken but she still has it in her room, it was a birthday present from her mom

12) Charles started referring to Beetlejuice as his son by accident at first, he was on the phone and mentioned how “the kids” were playing monopoly at the table. beetlejuice almost cried

13) Lydia has a habit of almost getting herself into fights at school because she has a take no shit attitude and a “square up” mentality despite being 5′0 tall

14) Charles and Adam both get gifts for fathers day

15) the same goes for Barbara and Delia on Mother’s day

16) Some of Lydia’s friends can see the Maitlands and Beetlejuice, sometimes right away, sometimes after hanging out with her for a while. It just becomes an accepted fact in the town ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ nobody really mentions it but outsiders are very confused and think it’s an elaborate lie

17) One of Lydia’s Halloween costumes as a kid was a plague doctor.

18) While Adam has a favorite historical war, Lydia has a favorite historical plauge

19) Lydia’s favorite poet is Emily Dickinson

20) Emily Deetz has a dual degree in botany and English. I feel like her “job-job” was working at a university (idk why) and her side job was illustrating children’s books. She had several for Lydia

21) and of course Lydia Deetz loves Capri suns

#lydia deetz #barbara maitland #charles deetz #adam maitland #delia deetz #beetlejuice #incorrect beetlejuice quotes #beetlejuice the musical #beetlegeuse #beetlejuice headcanon

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time-to-cause-chaos · 4 years ago

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i still hear your voice in the traffic (we’re laughing)

Tony promised Peter he'd teach him to drive, he's not here anymore though. (or Happy and Peter talk about Tony and Nat over a steering wheel)

AO3 link WC: 2, 466

tw: brief suicide mention, not of Peter or the Avengers though

Peter was now 16 years old.

It was about 8 months after Tony and Nat had both sacrificed themselves to bring back the lost half of the world and defeat Thanos. That 50% of the population that had turned to dust were all back and so many people were reunited with their loved ones, which would have been great.

Except it was overlooked that so many people hadn’t had that luxury.

There was one of Peter’s neighbors, he was in college the last time he’d seen him. Anyways, his moms lived together and Peter always saw him around visiting them and bringing them dinner and flowers. Apparently they had both been blipped which left him an orphan in college. They never got to see him graduate and he had killed himself not even 2 weeks after the ceremony.

The suicide rates had shot up a lot during those years, so many people had quite literally vanished and it was impossible to stay hopeful when there was absolutely nothing they could hold on to and a lot of people saw suicide as the only solution.

But when those dusted people came back, the people they seeked out in the crowds were gone, already long lost.

May told him when the parents had been brought back and everything had settled, they’d gone around looking for anyone who’d know where their son was, May was the one who had to tell them before they drove themselves crazy looking. May had to tell them that the kid who’d always bring home the pasta he knew they liked and the chocolate bars he knew were their favorites, was gone, and that was just one story.

Honestly from what Peter had heard, during those 5 years, it had been like watching an empire collapse all around you and you being stuck in the middle with no way to help, just constricted to seeing everything around fall into rubble on the ground and collect into towers of misery and ash.

There was a part of Peter that was overjoyed that he hadn’t been one to stick around because without MJ and Ned who were also dusted, he doesn’t know what he’d do, another huge part of Peter wished he had stuck around (not that he had had a choice), just so he could help everyone else, so he could have talked every single person who had to live through that and just fix all of their problems because that must have sucked beyond anything he could ever imagine.

And Peter knows he hasn’t lost as many people as most because others lost everything, their families, their friends.

But he lost Tony.

He lost another person who he thought he could protect and who he, naive as he is, thought he would have forever.

But he messed up.

And he messed up bad, because now Tony had an incredible daughter Morgan who didn’t have her dad anymore because Peter had to stand by uselessly and cry while he listened to Tony’s heart stutter to a hard stop.

Pepper didn’t have her husband, Rhodey and Happy didn’t have their best friend, and the world didn't have their Iron Man.

(And Peter didn’t have his Tony)

Happy was supposed to take him driving later and Peter has been stalling for months now. It's not because he doesn’t wanna know how to drive because he definitely does, that would be awesome, but Tony promised him he’d teach him to drive and he’d let him take one of his fancy cars for a spin and going without him felt wrong, like when you lose a tooth and there’s a weird new gap there that's not supposed to be there.

Tony had promised he’d teach him.

He was not going to be able to wriggle his way out of this one though, his excuses just kept getting flimsier and flimsier.

“Hey Peter want me to take you driving later” “Shoot, I wish, but I have a decathlon meet”

“Are you free later to go for a ride?” “Sorry, I have a test I need to study for”

“You still need to learn how to use the shifts, Pete” “I know, I know, but I wanted to get some extra patrolling in tonight”

Happy had actually brought the issue up in person once, “Kid, it’s fine if you don’t wanna learn but is there a reason? You used to always talk about learning to drive.”

He had mumbled a quick excuse and sprinted out of there.

His entire class already knew how to drive and everyone was always carpooling to each other's houses but Peter could care less. He only hung with Ned and Mj for the most part, so it never really affected him anyways.

Another thing was he felt like he was letting May down, because he knows she really wants him to get his license, but every time he tries to even think about it he feels nauseous, like he just dropped on a roller coaster.

Knock knock

The nausea was back.

Peter reluctantly shrugged on his jacket and opened the door to the apartment.

“Hey Happy,” he waved. He was pretty sure Happy could see something was wrong, but he hasn’t said anything yet.

“Hey kiddo, you ready to go?” he asked.

Peter nodded and stepped briskly out the door.

Happy was driving them to some empty parking lot to get him started off with and the ride was pretty much silent except for when Happy asked if May was home, Peter had said no, May had taken an extra shift and was still at work. Then Happy asked if he was feeling alright and pressed a cool hand to his forehead to check his temperature, Peter easily brushed him off and changed the subject as he tried not to fidget.

They pulled into the lot and switched seats once they’d parked, Happy gave him another quick run through of the gears and shifts even though he’d already heard this a dozen times and had him drive through the parking spaces setting up a path for him to go through.

“You know, if you really don’t want to do this, it’s fine Pete, right?”, Happy said from the passenger's seat.

He knows that, and he knows Happy would be fine if he told him the truth, if he told him that even the thought of driving made him go dizzy and he knows Happy would understand but it seemed like he was the only one still hooked on this. Everyone else seemed fine at family game nights and when they’d all get together for dinner, but every time Peter felt tears well up because Nat wasn’t there to absolutely demolish them in Jenga and Tony wasn't there to outsmart his way to the top of every monopoly round, the gaps were everywhere taking up no space and yet so much at the same time.

He’d see pictures taken recently of everyone and the first thing his mind would go to was who wasn’t in that picture? Who was missing from the picture because of stupid Thanos (or because Peter wasn’t good enough to have helped save them-)?

Peter tightened his grip on the steering wheel, “It’s fine, I can do this,”.

Happy still looked unsure but he let him go ahead, driving slowly through the spaces and twisting through the planters spaced throughout.

After a while Happy helped him drive onto the street and showed him what to do at the lights and gave him little tips about whenever he turned.

How to turn your blinker on.

Those were the windshield wipers.

Something about the rearview mirror…

And suddenly there were the sounds of horns honking and Happy was reaching over and jerking the steering wheel, pulling them out of the center of the road where- where Peter had almost slammed into another car.

Shit

Happy, still leaned over him, steered them both to the side as Peter stayed frozen clutching the edges of the seat with white knuckles.

The cold fist around his heart was suddenly squeezing the second they were parked on the side of the road, he was sobbing before Happy could even ask what the hell just happened.

He had almost hit another car.

That person could have died and it would’ve been his fault.

There could’ve been a family in that car.

His fault, again.

Where was Tony?

Words practically tumbled out of his mouth, the elaborately built wall holding everything in just broke and his mouth was moving against his will between each separate sob.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to” Peter gasped, it felt like a vacuum had come and sucked up every ounce of oxygen, because he could not breathe.

Happy was staring at him in confusion, really worried, probably because Peter had almost hurt another person.

“Jesus, kid, it’s alright, okay? It’s alright, see we’re both fine, nothing happened” Happy’s brows are tense as he watches Peter crumble.

His face fell as he watched Peter cry, “There was a reason you didn’t want to come out here, wasn’t there?”

Peter’s breathing is everywhere as he gives a harsh nod, refusing to lift his eyes up to meet Happy’s.

“Tony said- he promised he’d show me how to d-drive”

Tony’s voice in his head, laughing as Peter bonked his head on the lab table in his excitement before asking if he was alright.

“and N-Nat said once I got my license, s-she’d let me drive her to her favorite restaurant and you k-know she hates letting other people drive her” Peter choked, “She said we could get ice cream after”

Nat’s favorite restaurant was the Syrian place with the majestic Arabic letters painted inside on the walls, she loved the frozen yogurt place where it was self-serve and she could load it with as many boba bubbles and chocolate chips as she wanted.

The first time they’d trained together, she had let him win, after the match he’d told her to not underestimate him, she’d only lost 2 more times after that.

MJ was nervous to talk to Nat at first, and MJ was never nervous, after though, they’d talk all the time and it was immediately decided that they were probably one of the most terrifying and badass duos to ever walk the Earth.

Happy was still watching him in a frozen silence, “Tony told me h-he’d let me take his old red car for a drive, and we’d always l-laugh and talk about which car suited me b-est” a new set of tears was coming, “He kept saying he’d get me the best car there was and I always said you don’t have to because I wanted to earn it, myself” his breath hitched again and his next sentence was practically squeezed out of him, “He always said I’ve already earned it”

Tony and him laughing in the lab and dancing to the music FRIDAY had put on for them. Pepper coming down and just watching wearily with a smile as something caught on fire and they both ran around like idiots trying to put it out.

Somehow, he always ended up sleeping on Tony during movie night and the team had an abundance of pictures in the album with them.

Tony claiming he burned everything he cooked, but making pasta that could rival anyone’s anyways.

Peter calling him after a nightmare and just talking until he eventually fell asleep.

He and Ned had worshiped him growing up and even after meeting him a gazillion times, Ned still stared with wide eyes as he walked away, because he was Tony Stark, he was Iron Man for god’s sake. The shock of it never got old, Peter felt the same most of the time.

“Happy-”, another hitch, “Happy, they’re both gone” Peter finally looked up at him and did a double-take when he realized there were shining tears in his eyes, and the older man was looking at him with a conflicted look, but Peter needed to finish this first.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I couldn't help or do anything-” he takes in a shuddering breath and Happy looks mad, why was he mad?

“Peter, you’re going to listen to me when I say this” Peter nods confirmation and Happy’s voice is a lot softer, “It wasn’t your fault, none of it was, at all, I promise. Tony did everything he did for you, kid I-” Happy coughed, trying to subtly wipe the tear that fell, “Do you know how devastated he was every time your name would pop up on the missing or he saw a picture of you? The first months, we’d have to drag him out of his lab, kicking and screaming because he was still trying to find ways to bring you back.” Peter shut his eyes, trying not to imagine the horrific scene.

“When he had Morgan he was so worried he’d mess up and he’d always tell us about how happy you would be if you knew you had a sister. He didn’t want to lose Morgan because he’d already lost you, he thought with Morgan he had a second chance and I know he never ever stopped thinking about you.” Happy looked wistful, and his gaze may have been on Peter but it was obvious he wasn’t really seeing him.

Happy breathed in, closing his eyes, “And Nat, well that girl was one hard kick. You know the first time I met her she flipped be over, I had bruises that lasted weeks”

Peter huffs, trying a laugh, “That seems like Nat”

“She talked about you too, a lot, she was pretty fond of you, talking about how awesome you were. I remember in the first few years where you were gone, she’d always be down in the training room but I never once saw her actually training. You were one of her favorite people to spar with and she worked around the clock trying to bring everyone back. You were a part of her family, we all were.” Happy zeroes in on him again, “Tony and Nat were alike in a lot of ways, but one of the big ones was they both loved you, kid. Those two are peas in a pod and I have never seen them look as proud as they were when they looked at you, it’s not your fault they’re gone. They knew the risks and what it would take to bring you back”

Peter listened, numb, as Happy’s words echoed through his head dully, bouncing, back and forth, back and forth.

They both loved you, kid.

It’s not your fault.

Happy squeezed his shoulder, blinking his irritated eyes, “Let’s go get some food, kid. We can finish the driving lessons some other time.”

thanks for reading, i hope you liked it! (Reblogs appreciated!)

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pazzodiamante · 4 years ago

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Oldest, Middle, Or Youngest Child?

Haikyuu edition

Akaashi

Middle child

He just raidiates younger sibling vibes man

But the fact that he handles Bokuto so perfectly makes me think that he HAS to have a younger sibling

He has an older brother who’s away for college and a younger brother who he adores

He’s not that close to his older brother anymore but back when they were, you could always catch them play fighting and laughing till tears came out their eyes

His brother going away for college changed him a lot. He was never the type of person who was exited all the time and and he sure as hell didn’t have a kind smile on his face as often as others, but when his brother was around he often appeared to be in a good mood and much more open. He became more quiet and picked up a resting bitch face that made him look bored all the time a few months after his brother left, he slowly distanced himself from people and kept more quiet to and himself too

He’s really close to his younger brother though, he’s in junior high. They play video games together, ride bikes at the park, watch horror movies together, and a bunch of other stuff. Akaashi always makes time for him, always

If their mom happens to be working late, Akaashi picks up food for the three of them once he heads home so they can eat since she won’t be cooking for them and Akaashi can’t cook for shit. They eat their food in peace in the living room watching tv and enjoying each other’s company

Sometimes if they both happen to be up early in the morning on a weekend with no school and no work to do, they’ll make breakfast, chill on couch, put on some cartoons, and eat whatever they made in a comfortable silence

Kyoutani

Middle child

His three older siblings already graduated high school and one passed college too, his two younger siblings are in high school and in elementary school

His oldest sibling is the only boy aside from himself, he’s 25. He doesn’t live with them but he comes home a lot since their house is pretty big and he has a room there. They get along fine, Kyou’s relationship with him is similar to his with Iwa’s but he’s much more closer to his brother and he has more fun with him since they grew up together

The second oldest is his eldest sister who is 23 and in law school. She’s usually very busy with trying to deal with school, work, family, and friends at the same time so they don’t interact that often but when they do it’s peaceful and fun. She’s the most mature of them all so she’s the one that stops the fights and takes responsibility when she has to

The other middle child, or the third oldest, is his older sister who is 19 and in college. She works at a restaurant near his school so sometimes after practice he’ll go there to eat and do his homework. Her girlfriend works there too so Kyoutani and her end up talking a lot and he knows a few other employees thanks to his sister and her girlfriend

His younger sister, who is a first year and one year younger than him, is his resident pain in the ass. He argues with her the most but he would never go as far as to actually hit her, he knows that he’s pretty strong and the only ones who could actually take it are his brother and older sister (19 year old one) since the three of them are the only ones who work out and have played sports before. They’re both pretty similar in a lot of ways so there are times where they get along and have the time of their lives

His youngest sibling and the baby of the family is Rika, she’s 7. She is literally the only sibling Seijou knows the name of, Kyoutani doesn’t talk about his personal life much but she’s the only one he’s actually called by name when talking about her, the rest get names like “My sister”, “Assjack 1”, “Assjack 2”, and “Assjack 3”

He gets along with sister 2 best but sister 3 least. He likes the other two just fine and Rika favors him, something he likes to rub in his brothers face

Fun fact: his eldest siblings actually share different fathers than the rest but the same between each other, none of them actually like him so they never bring him up. That’s also one of the reasons as to why they treat Kyou’s dad like their actual father

I’m working on some Kyoutani headcanons so I’ll write more about them there :)

Matsukawa

Oldest child

He has a younger sister who’s not even in junior high yet, she’s babey

She’s also his human alarm clock

Matsukawa absolutely hates waking up early in the morning, he would sleep in until 12 everyday if he had the chance and he does on holidays

So since his actual phone alarms are useless (he just keeps pressing snooze and never actually stops them and get up), Hanamaki and Mattsun’s little sister have taken it up to themselves to wake him up

Hanamaki is up much earlier so by the time Mattsun’s alarms start ringing, Makki is eating breakfast peacefully. When he’s done he’ll just walk 5 minutes to Mattsun’s house, climb a tree that’s right next to Mattsun’s window so he can get in through there without waking anyone else up, and attack him with pillows until he wakes up and starts getting ready

When it’s not Hanamaki waking him up but his little sister instead, she’ll go in his room with two pans and start smashing them together while yelling “GET UP BIGFOOT!!!”. What a way to wake up amiright, instant panic and confusion the moment you process the sounds. She only does that when it’s only them two together though so she doesn’t wake anyone else up and the reason why she’s up so early is because she watches morning cartoons and eats whatever breakfast their mom left them

Mattsun loves tickling her to death, they play around so much you wouldn’t even think it’s actually Mattsun and not some secret twin of his who is much more happy and cheerful than he is

She’s so smol and loves having Mattsun lift her up with one hand and have her be taller than him by lifting his hand straight up, their cealing is pretty tall so he doesn’t have to worry about his arm touching the ceiling or his sister hitting her head while he’s lifting her up

Aside from “Bigfoot”, she likes to call him “Mountain man”, “Uvo’s son” (he’s from hxh and he’s tall as hell bruh), and “Cupcake” for some reason. Mattsun guesses that she calls him that because Makki calls him “My chocolate cupcake” jokingly sometimes and she’s been around a few times when he has

Mattsun would kill a man for her no question about it

Futakuchi

Oldest child

He has an 13 year old little sister who he is very protective of

They argue so much though it’s unreal

She often kicks his knees when she’s mad at him since he’s too tall for her to reach his face

She gets most of her roasting material from him and Moniwa prays for the child whenever he remembers (he’s been to his house before so he knows)

Aone once told him “She’s a lot like you” and Futakuchi has never been so offended in his life, he couldn’t even find the right words for that he just made disgusted noises

He’s just like that, acts like a dick a lot but he would do anything for her except wash the damn dishes

She knows this and she’s the same

She’s so sarcastic Kamasaki almost lost his shit the first time he met her and realized that she’s even worse than Futa

“It’s fineeeee my dog won’t bite or anything, cant say the same for my sister though. She’ll have you reevaluating your life” -Futakuchi at Kamasaki

Kawanishi

Youngest child

He has an older sister who is 22

They aren’t that close since they’re only related because of their dad and live separately (Kawanishi living with his mom and her living with her own) but they’re pretty chill around each other

She isn’t the energetic type, preferring peace and quiet over anything but she doesn’t mind making conversation either

She sometimes cooks for him when he’s home and not in the dorms, he won’t admit it but he loves it since she’s always cared for him and she has amazing cooking skills

Yamagata

Oldest child

He has two younger siblings, a younger sister who’s about to graduate junior high, and a brother who is 2 years younger than her

They call him “The Capitalist”

Seriously, they have plenty of normal names for him like “Hayahaya”, “Haya”, “Yaya”, “Yato”, and “Hayaaaaaa” if they want something from him, but that other name is the sole weird one and most used name they have for him

The reason behind that name is that he’s a killer in Monopoly and bullies them through it, there’s only two people who can beat him in the game and those two people are two of their cousins but they don’t see each other often

“Sorry I don’t speak broke”, “not my fault I’m filthy rich and you’re living the life of a New York rat”, “sorry can’t see you through all this CASH”, “maybe if you weren’t slow on the brain then you could’ve saved some money and actually stood a chance”, “what are you? My mother? No, pay up kid this ain’t a game” -Hayato Yamagata in Monopoly

Hayato and his sister practice volleyball sometimes since he taught her how to play once while their brother watches when he’s feeling down. Spending time with them just helps

They play all sorts of card games with a big tray of snacks next to them when she’s the one down, and they all binge watch cool series together when their little brother is the one who is down

They like to spend a lot of time together and they overall care a lot about each other

Both of them miss Hayato a lot too since he spent three years living in a high school dorm system and he plans on moving away for college too but they wouldn’t admit it

Hayato misses them too but instead of trying to deny it or anything, he just spends as much time with them as possible. He takes them to the mall, theme parks, restaurants, etc.

His sister also has a crush on Semi and Hayato absolutely does not let her live it down, she knew she was done for the moment Hayato realized

Goshiki

Middle child

He comes from a family of A LOT of siblings and always feels outshined by them, two older ones and three younger ones to be exact

The oldest is a girl who’s 25 and currently lives with her best friend, second oldest is a boy who’s 19 and the one person who can absolutely get under Goshiki’s skin in less than 2 minutes, then there’s Goshiki, after him is his junior high brother who proves to be amazingly intelligent and great at volleyball himself and is only one year younger than him, and after him are “The Terror Twins” which are his two younger brothers that are three years younger than Goshiki

His older brother used to play basketball but stopped once graduated, that’s why he’s taller than Goshiki and a bit stronger. He always uses his height & strength to his advantage and a weapon to make Goshiki’s life a living hell and Goshiki hates him for it. Does anyone know why exactly he’s such a dick to Goshiki? Nope, it’s only a guess that he has some sort of hatred for him due to the fact that Goshiki shares a different mom than the rest of them

He and his younger brother have a complicated relationship too. They don’t physically fight like Goshiki and their older brother do but he constantly acts like he’ll always be better than him and like he’s worthless to him, that messes with Goshiki sometimes and they always end up arguing

There are a few times where those two pain in the asses actually like him and they get along though

The twins aren’t really bad, they just have a lot of energy in them and like causing trouble so Goshiki doesn’t really mind them unless they direct their mischief towards him

He gets along with his older sister the most, she’s really nice to him and often offers to go out with him. The volleyball team has also met her twice and they seem to like her too

#sorry for the long ass post #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #akaashi keiji #kyoutani kentarou #matsukawa issei #futakuchi kenji #kawanishi taichi #yamagata hayato #goshiki tsutomu

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axwalker · 5 years ago

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Now and Then 1: Beginnings

This will be a mini-series (4 or 5 chapters), and I’ll be using the weekly prompts of the lovely @emceesynonymroll WACKY DRABBLES.

This week’s prompt is #40: “Don’t you ever do that again” and will appear in bold.

Synopsis: The story of Alexis’s and Drake’s friendship since they met when they were 10 years old until they become roommates after college. (AU) Fluff with a tad of angst.

MASTERLIST

Warning: This is a +18 blog. Maybe NSFW in the future

Pairing: Drake x ?, Alexis x ?

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry

Word count: 1496

Thanks to my beautiful beta reader @pedudley

Permatag list: @pedudley @pug-bitch @burnsoslow @mskaneko @twinkle-320 @kimmiedoo5 @ac27dj @marshmallowsandfire @loveellamae

One shots: @princessleac1

Now and Then: @ravenpuff02

September 2005

Lexie O’Brien and Drake Walker’s friendship started when they were 10 years old and she had challenged him and his friends to a soccer game. Lexie was fed up. The boys never wanted to play with her or her girlfriends, but they hogged the school’s soccer field every afternoon. She decided to fix it with a simple bet. If the girls won, the coach would have to create mixed teams.

At the end of the match, they were tied 4-4, but the coach was impressed by them and had accepted her proposition.

That afternoon, Drake found himself waiting with her for their parents to pick them up. Lexie sat with her chin resting on her knees, her orange backpack next to her. Drake noticed that it had a badge of Barcelona’s soccer team.

“Barcelona?” He asked, curious.

Lexie beamed at him. “Best team ever!”

“The best team ever is Liverpool,” he said, smugly.

She stood up excited. “What are you talking about? Barcelona has Ronaldinho!” She took the ball and tried to dribble, unsuccessfully. “One day, I’ll dribble like him,” she declared in a dreamy voice.

He looked at her stupefied. “You’re really intense.”

“That’s what my mom says.” She shrugged.

“Why isn’t she here?”

“She’s working. My abuelita has a Mexican restaurant. Sometimes they’re too busy so she’s late. And your mom?”

Drake lowered his eyes, embarrassed. “She’s not in Cordonia. I live with my dad.” And he’s always late.

She nodded empathetically; adults were a mystery to her. She kneeled down and put her hand over his shoulder. “My dad left too.”

Drake didn’t reply. He hated to talk about his family. After a silent moment, Lexie kicked a stone, angrily. They had been waiting for more than 30 minutes.

She suddenly had an idea, she hoped he’d be onboard, but she wasn’t sure. Drake wasn’t the friendliest boy she had met. “Do you live far from here?”

Drake frowned, she sure was nosey. “Like fifteen minutes. Why?”

“Me too! In Valtoria Avenue. We can walk together.”

Drake was angry with his dad for being late. And leaving would teach him a lesson. But he didn’t want to go with her. She was only a girl.

“I’ll go, but you stay here. Your mom will come soon.” He threw his bag over his shoulder and started walking.

She ran and stood in front of him her hands on her hips. “Hey! It was my idea. I want to come too.”

He rolled his eyes, annoyed. “Whatever, just don’t get ran over by a car or something.”

“I know how to cross the street, smarty-pants,” she sassed, annoying him even more.

They walked silently for ten minutes when her stomach growled. “I think I’m hungry,” she admitted as she placed her hands on her belly.

“Yeh, I’m hungry too.”

“Look, Ben and Jerry’s!” She pipped pointing to their left.

He hesitated for a minute; His dad would be furious if he didn’t come home fast. But she seemed really hungry, and he could bet his entire collection of Pokémon cards that she was going to nag him all the way back to their houses, if she didn’t eat something. He had his allowance money in his pocket, so he decided to go for the ice cream.

They chatted all the way back, mostly about Harry Potter. Both of them liked the books more than the movies but they were both waiting the release of the ‘The Goblet of Fire’ frantically.

Her heart stopped when she saw a police car in front of her house. “My mom called the police. She’s going to kill me.”

Drake felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. “That’s my dad’s car, he’s a policeman.”

She widened her eyes. “Wow! That’s cool!”

“Not as much as you think, he’s never there,” he said with a small voice.

Soon, they saw a fuming Jackson and a furious Elena coming out of the house.

“Alexis! What were you thinking?” Elena was enraged but she hugged her daughter tightly. “What you did is so dangerous, Lexie.”

Lexie blushed furiously; she didn’t want to be scolded in front of Drake. “I’m not a little girl, mom.”

“Yes, you are, mija (my daughter). We’ll talk later. Now, go inside, I have to talk Mr. Walker.”, she said pointing her finger to the house

Lexie was about to protest, but her mother was the only human on earth that scared her. She entered the house obediently.

Jackson turned to his son. “You know how irresponsible this was, Drake?”

Drake refused to be reprimanded, it was his father’s fault. “You were late, dad. Again.”

Jackson knew his son was right, since Bianca had left with Savannah, he juggled to maintain a balance between his work and his fatherly duties. And he had to admit that he wasn’t doing a great job.

“That’s not an excuse, Drake. You can’t leave like that.”

Drake wanted to reply, but Jackson interrupted him, raising his hand. “No excuses. Don't you ever do that again. Understood?”

His son nodded and got in the car.

Jackson turned to Elena. “Is everything okay now, Ms. O’Brien?”

“Everything is fine now, thanks for coming with me to the house. I thought I was going to die when I didn’t see her at the school.” She nodded towards the car where Drake was waiting. “I bet he’s hungry. Poor little thing. You can eat with us. I brought tacos dorados from the restaurant. I don’t like to brag but they’re the best in the city” Without giving Jackson time to think, she went to the car and opened the door. “Come on, kid. Let’s go eat.”

Jackson considered his options. He could serve his son a frozen pizza and a bag of salad, or he could let him eat something cooked for once. “Thank you, Elena.”

Elena took Drake to Alexis’s room where she was still brooding. Her face lit up when she saw him. “Drake! I thought you left!”

“Your mom invited us to diner. Well, she actually didn’t give my dad a choice.” He grinned. “It was pretty cool. Usually, no one tells him what to do”

Lexie smiled, proudly. “That’s my mom. She’s very bossy.”

Drake looked around. Her room was chaotic. His dad complained a lot about his mess, but it was nothing compared to this.

He had expected a room like Savannah’s but, it actually was more similar to his own. She had soccer posters everywhere, of the wrong team, but still. She obviously hadn’t lied about loving Harry Potter, she had Hermione Granger’s and Ron Weasley’s pictures all over the walls.

“I thought you were a Harry’s kinda girl, Lex.”

No one had called her Lex before, but she liked it. “I like Harry, but my fave is Hermione. She’s so cool!”

He teased her, “the best friend? You do know that Harry is the main character, right?”

She shrugged. “I like Harry, but I prefer Ron and Hermione. He’s a good friend and she’s the smartest witch. Plus, I bet they’re in love.”

Drake grimaced before speaking. “The coolest is Sirius Black.”

She beamed at him as she pointed to the wall. There was a framed quote:

‘We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.’ Sirius Black.

Drake made the desk’s chair spin as he declared, “You’re cool for a girl.”

She squinted at him. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, you don’t like Barbies and you play soccer.” He shrugged.

She opened a trunk in the corner of her room. “I do like Barbies. A lot. I just like soccer too. My mom says there’s no girl’s and boy’s stuff. Just stuff”

He sat on the floor, crossing his legs. “My dad wouldn’t agree with that.”

She took out a game of Monopoly. “Is this guy enough for your dad? I have Battleship too,” she said, teasingly.

Drake shook his head; she was a huge pain in the ass, but he kind of liked her. “Monopoly is okay.”

From that day on, Drake and Jackson would often have dinner in the O’Brien’s house. Elena didn’t mind watching Drake when Jackson had a late shift, so the boy spent a lot of afternoons in their restaurant playing and doing homework with Lexie. Jackson took them camping as often as he could. The three of them loved stargazing, so Jackson built with them a homemade telescope to teach them everything he knew about the stars and the constellations. Elena took them to all the Harry Potter movies and book signings. They both loved the sea so one of their parents took them to the beach every weekend. They discovered a hidden cove and named it their place. They used to go there to share their secrets or build forts and sandcastles.

When they were at school, they had other friends as well, but no matter how much Olivia or Liam teased them or how often and fiercely they fought each other, their friendship grew older with them.

#axwalker writes #drake walker #drake x mc #alexis o'brien #trr au fanfic #wacky drabbles

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eventschimp · 4 years ago

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115 Fantastic Happy Birthday Funny Messages. best wishes

Best Funny happy birthday wishes

Looking for the perfect Happy birthday funny messages & pictures to brighten someone's day? Whether it's someone you know, or someone you're friends with, or even someone who's lost their birthday wish, we have all the humorous birthday wishes you'll need and absolutely enjoy.

Fun should be an integral part of our life and must be on the occasions of Good days of life. The funny wishes and fun notes are sure to make their day brighter and make them laugh! Send them in greeting cards, by SMS, or via Facebook and Twitter!

Here you will find quick-links to specific sections and the complete list of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

funny birthday message to my best friend

You have many friends, but some of them have a special badge of a best friend, so they need special attention, more time to spend with them and priority over others in your life. If you want to wish them well on their special day, here are some great happy birthday funny messages to make them smile.

1.Wish you a happy birthday, sweetheart, and keep smiling until I have enough evidence to send you to the mental asylum.

2.Use these funny happy birthday quotes to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age. You can use them in a card message, a Facebook caption, or even a t-shirt.

3.Statistics tell us you will live longer if you have the most birthdays (but it has also been proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

4. I know you are celebrating your birthday, but you can't stop your favorite food items from being right in front of you.

5.Happy birthday! After all those years and yet another year, you still haven't become wiser.

6.On your birthday, you can always depend on me to let loose with a night to remember in the morning.

7. Do not let age catch you down... it is too hard to bounce back!

8.On your birthday, I have something gluten-free, completely calorie-free, and absolutely delightful gift. Guess, what I have for you? Yes, you are right... It's a text message!

9. The kind of friend I am, I forgot your age.

10. I can't believe how fast time flies when you're having fun! When did we get so old?

11. The fact that we managed to keep this friendship going despite generational differences is wonderful.

Funny messages and wishes for girlfriend.

Having a girlfriend is a privilege no one must forget to wish on special occasions, and everyone would like to do something out of the ordinary to strengthen the bond of friendship and love.

It seems that funny happy birthday messages do the job perfectly. A good and funny note can put your lover's smile on her face and this is the ultimate goal of greeting them. Here is a compilation of some fine wishes messages for your girlfriend.

12. The one and only time I lied to you was when I said I'd love you forever, but realized that i couldn't live that long..

13. Last night, I dreamed of you while hugging my pillow. I wish one day I could dream about my pillow and be hugging you.

14. Regardless of what economists may say, you are the only one for me. There is no one else I can replace you with.

15. If my eyes are bothering me, I can't remove them from you.

16. Falling from the sky or a tree is fine, but the finest way to fall in love is with you! Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

17. The proverb goes wrong that a picture is worth a thousand words, but after looking at yours, I have no words to describe!

18. I'm no gambler, but I guess I'm just betting with my heart and mind that I will never stop loving you.

19. Too much smiling has caused me to develop wrinkles. Stop being so lovely! It drives me crazy..

20. It's evident that I adore you, from the sparkle in your eyes.

21. I hope your birthday is as awesome as your hair in high school.

You may check out: 71 Birthday Wishes in Unique Style- Best Bday messages

Best humorous wishes for boyfriend

22. We will lock up our hearts together and toss away the key; I give my heart to you; do give yours to me.

23. Because monopoly is always harmful and competition is always beneficial, it makes sense to have many crushes and flirts instead of just one true love! An economic theory on love.

24. Whenever we're together, you make me feel so young. Thank you for being the first.

25. It's a pleasure to celebrate the birthday of someone I hope will be my friend, even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.

26. Happy birthday to a person who is charming and talented, as well as witty, and is much like myself.

27. It is your birthday, so we will eat fired up baked goods and sing at you while you sit there awkwardly.

28. Happy birthday. Thanks for being older than me all your life.

29. Wishing you a unique birthday wish every year would be difficult. Choosing a special wish for next year would be even more challenging, so I'll just say happy birthday.

30. Despite the truth that today would be a perfect time to write sweet words about my best friend in the world, I already finished my autobiography a month ago.

Happy birthday funny messages for brother

Depending on your brother's personality and what type of relationship you have with him, these next funny birthday wishes for brothers could be just the thing for you to give him a laugh on his birthday too!

Hoping that these happy birthday funny messages will amaze your dear brother on his birthday, so keep scrolling to choose the perfect one.

31.That's all you really need for a gift. Just saying. Happy birthday!

32. Although it's hard to understand why we're celebrating your day since only mom did all the efforts. Happy birthday!

33. I am amazed at how long we have tolerated each other. Happy Birthday.

34. Your birthday falls at just the right age. You are old enough to see your mistakes, but still young enough to make more. Happy Birthday!

35. Wishing you a happy birthday! Hope you have a day as beautiful as a unicorn farting rainbows!

36. Hey big bro! They say that as you get older your intellect grows, but since we keep doing the same stupid thing we did as kids, we must be the exception to that rule.

37. It's my brother's birthday and he's smart, funny, witty, charming… and a lot like me!

38. I'm glad you're finally 21 and can finally do all those things you've been doing since you were 16! Happy birthday!

39. There's only one person you can be completely idiotic with through thick and thin. So glad I have you, bro! Have a great birthday!

40. After searching the web for 3 hours, I gave up trying to find the perfect birthday message for you. Happy Birthday.

41. When I thought about what I would get you for your birthday, I realized you already have me. Thank you very much. Happy birthday!

You may check out the amazing article

Funny happy birthday wishes for a lil sister

Finding funny happy birthday wishes for your younger sister has never been easier, with a wide selection of funny greetings, funny jokes, and wishes. We have all the best, cute, beautiful, and sweet words to bring a smile to your little angel's face.

42. I wish you a very happy birthday to the sassiest, coolest, and funniest little sister in the world!

43. Congratulations on your birthday, little sister, you may have always been smarter than me, but you have always been my best friend.

44. I will always love you for being my little monkey, but you've grown up, happy birthday Lil sister

45. My parents never gave me a pet before you were born, but after you were born I finally got a pet. Happy birthday, Sister I hope you never grow up.

46. You are not only funny but also crazy, just like your sister. No one else has a sister like you. Happy Birthday.

47. Thank you for being the most competitive person I have ever encountered in my life. Why couldn't you accept my win against you? I didn't understand. Happy Birthday my little sister

48. Happy Birthday, sis. I will always think of you as my silly little sister, no matter how tall or wise you get.

49. I love you, dear one, and I will love you until the very end. Despite your age, it doesn't mean you are any better or worse off than I am. I love you.

50. You have indeed given me nerves of steel, Happy Birthday little sister.

Happy birthday funny wishes for father

Regardless of your age, dad always celebrates your birthday well. Now, it's his turn to celebrate and have a great party! Use the best Funny Birthday Wishes for Father to show how much you respect the humor and zest for life your dad possesses. Your father is the best man you know, so give him a happy birthday celebration with Funny Birthday Wishes for Father he'll remember and love!

51. I know it's not an easy job being a dad, but it's done with class and style. Happy birthday to the father who does it all.

52. Your schedule is just like that of a student with a lot of classes. Happy birthday, Dad!

53. Happy birthday dad, I'm sorry I can't be there to wish you a happy birthday in person, but please know that I think of you on your special day. Thanks for everything you do! Can't wait to see you again!

54. Here's a fun fact-you're not getting older, but you take great pleasure in making bad jokes. Enjoy more of those, Dad, and happy birthday!

55. Having said that, I know that today is your birthday, but that does not make it a holiday, so I'm not too excited about it. Just kidding. Happy birthday to an important man!

56. It's been a week since I thought of what to write in a funny birthday message for you. But I couldn't think of anything funny. Happy birthday!

57. Your mother told me that, even though you're getting older, you're not becoming any wiser. You should be grateful for the information she shared with you. Just kidding.

Happy birthday funny messages for husband

It makes sense, then, that, at least once every three hundred and sixty-five days, we owe ourselves something special. And on those days, consciously or subconsciously, we all crave to be celebrated by others. It is especially important to celebrate our spouse's birthday every year. After all, our spouse is our better half. Who else will do it?

58. You transformed everything about companionship when we met. It still amazes me how amazing you remain throughout our marriage. Happy birthday, dear husband.

59. I count my blessings twofold, honey because you brought light and fragrance into my life on the hardest of days. Happy birthday to you, love.

60. I wish you the most beautiful days of your life because you are the most amazing human ever. Have a great day, my prince charming.

61. Even if I were reincarnated as a woman multiple times and found you every time, I would never marry anyone else. Happy birthday to you.

62. Thank you for being devoted, supportive, enthusiastic, compassionate, creative, strong and resourceful. You are an amazing human being and I love you more than anything.

63. I feel safe and prepared for any obstacle with you by my side. You are a fantastic teammate, and I love you for that. Happy birthday, dear.

64. I celebrate you every day, so there is no need to limit my celebration to one day. But let me take this opportunity to remind you how deeply I love you. Happy birthday, dear!

Best birthday messages and wishes for Mother

Whether you agree or disagree with me, mothers are the best! If the mother you have is not your best, that's huge! Mothers are truly God's gift to us. Mothers know how to shed tears and smile when necessary. They give so freely for you when no one else will. They sacrifice a lot to make you happy. Mothers are gold! They deserve the best! 65. Despite being the best mom in the world, I can't express how much I love you enough to wish you an amazing birthday.

66. I appreciate how patient and loving you have been with me. Thank you for letting me wish you a wonderful birthday.

67. It is the greatest honor of my life to celebrate my mother's birthday. She is the most wonderful mother a person could ask for.

68. Cheers to a terrific birthday and a successful year to come for the best mom in the world.

69. In return, I wish you all the happiness on your birthday. I am extremely lucky to have a mother like you who is caring, kind, and giving.

70. Mom is a great mother who brought me into this world and has loved me ever since. And to your mom for bringing you into this world, which gave us the opportunity to celebrate your birthday today.

71. Having been born to you makes me feel more blessed than I could not imagine. Happy birthday to my great Mom

72. Your love and guidance led me to where I am today, and I would like to express my gratitude for your birthday.

73. My mom, you always put in a lot of effort to make this day special, but now it's my turn to make it memorable.

Happy birthday funny note for wife

After spending a long time married to one's sweetheart, you might want to express your gratitude, show your love and give her additional attention whenever there is another reason to celebrate. On her birthday, you will obviously want to look for a unique present, yet it is important that you also share your thoughts.

If your wife doesn't want a physical gift, or if you don't have one, here are dozens of birthday wishes for her that you can use as inspiration or use as is. It's the acknowledgment or attention she gets from you that really makes her birthday magical.

74. It is the one day out of the year I put my wife's mother-in-law in my prayers. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

75. PI is like how much I love you, darling wife: endless and never-ending.

76. Unless I use Nutella on my toast or ice cream on my apple pie, I wouldn't eat my honeybun without you. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife.

77. The only thing better than bacon… and that's a lot… is my love for you.

78. Thank you for being the only copilot I'd ever want. Happy Birthday

79. Happy Birthday to my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! I am lucky enough to be your husband…but you only surpassed my luck by being mine!

Funny wishes for daughter's birthday

Here you will find an impressive range of heartwarming happy birthday funny messages for daughters to inspire you. Whether you're looking for a short message to send or a thoughtful card, you'll find something here to suit your needs.

80. Our beautiful daughter celebrated her birthday today! We love you so much, Mom and Dad!

81. Getting you the best present possible makes my day complete. Wish you a day filled with sunshine, rainbows, laughter, and fun!

82. Happy birthday to our daughter, we wish you all the best.

83. We are so happy to have you in our lives, Sweetie! We're so glad you're kind, fun, and crazy!

84. My dear daughter, I hope your day is as wonderful as you are, as shiny as your doll’s grin. Thanks for everything.

85. Having you in it makes the world a better place! Although we need to be smarter in handling you and our dishes has been a challenge. Happy birthday, lovely daughter!

86. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and we wish you a wonderful birthday. Love from Mom and Dad

87. I love having you as a daughter. Thank you for being mine. Happy birthday darling, love from Mom.

Birthday funny wishes for daughter-in-law

You can find so many amazing funny happy birthday wishes and messages for your daughter-in-law right here on our website. Make sure you take advantage of them and send them to her!

You can pick from our extensive collection of original birthday wishes to transform your beloved daughter-in-law’s birthday into an unforgettable experience she will cherish for years to come.

88. It's a wonderful birthday wish to a daughter-in-law blessed to have such a great mother and father-in-law.

89. Thank you so much for not being a malicious daughter-in-law towards me on your birthday, dearest. I can't thank you enough.

90. Thank you so much for putting my son on the map. Without you, he would certainly be nothing - just as teens would be nothing without smartphones and social media accounts. Happy birthday!

91. The idea that daughter-in-laws are wicked and difficult is wrong. May the good Lord bless you abundantly for not being a witchy in-law. Have a great birthday.

92. Have a wonderful birthday! Did you know that science-backed studies have proven over and over again that too many birthdays lead to premature death?

93. While we celebrate your birthday, dear daughter-in-law, I find my mind wondering about the rumors that you were so old your first car was a covered wagon. I hope you will take this opportunity to clarify that issue once and for all!

humorous birthday messages for Mother-in-law

Birthdays are the most glorious days on earth and so, without doubt, they are always special to the individual who celebrates them. So, a funny message of happy birthday and a lovely wish to your MIL on her birthday would really make her happy and tell her that you love her, too.

94. In honor of your birthday, I am sending you a belated birthday message. I hope you accept it ma.

95. Enjoy your birthday, no matter how noisy we are. May you find the energy and patience to put up with our annoying habits. Happy birthday.

96. How wonderful my mother-in-law is, she is just terrific, and I'm sure she will serve me a bottle of Fanta today.

97. Mother-in-law, I couldn't have given you a better birthday gift than the precious daughter you gave me. I can only strive to be the son you never had. Happy birthday, mom!

98. You seem to be defying the laws of aging; you seem to be turning back the clock. If there is some secret to this, please share it with me. Happy birthday.

99. Lastly, I want you to know I really appreciate you not executing me while I slept for taking your precious daughter and I am so thankful I still have a wonderful mother-in-law.

How to wish your boss in a funny tone?

A leader's job can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. Keeping clients satisfied and having respect from employees is important for success on the job. You should let your boss know he/she is appreciated and that you are happy to work together, especially on his/her birthday. You will not only make your boss's day more exciting by sending happy birthday funny messages, but you may even brighten your own, as well.

100. During this intensive year, your support has been vital to many people and the company. Thank you for everything you do.

101. You are an example of all that is good in this company, and I see you making smart decisions all the time that benefit both the company and our clients. You truly are a great role model for us all.

102. We are so grateful to you for being such a blessing in our lives! You are a treat and a blessing.

103. Congratulations on your birthday to someone who makes every day go by without any bumps and plenty of laughter!

104. Let's take this day to honor you and your excellent leadership!

105. Your leadership stands out! Happy birthday and here's to many more years of fabulous leadership!

106. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

107. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

Funny happy birthday to co-worker

If you work together with unity and uniformity for 8+ hours daily, then you have spent one-third of your life together with your colleague. Your colleague also needs to be congratulated on their birthday with funny happy birthday messages.

108. Throughout your life, I wish you many adventures, heartfelt moments, and many more milestones. Happy Birthday.

109. You make this place tolerable - and that is hard to do! Happy Birthday! Come grab some lunch or drinks soon!

110. A birthday is a reminder that the world is waiting for you to dream, to move forward, to fulfill your dreams. Happy birthday!

111. Congratulations, we're not sure how old you are yet. Only you, God, and Human Resources know your true age.

112. I am honored to work with you, thank you so much for all of your help and guidance, and I wish you a happy birthday.

113. Progress is a matter of faith, unity, and patience. I wish you great success as long as you hold onto these principles. Happy Birthday.

114. Congratulations to my wonderful coworker who celebrates his or her bi-annual birthday today! Good luck and happiness in the years to come!

115. Congratulations to our very special colleague. Wishing you and your family the most abundant blessings and may your life always be filled with joy.

funny happy birthday thank you message

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50scentsofsoap · 5 years ago

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Forever

Jung Hoseok has always been there for you, after all he has been your best friend for years. A lot can change during that time...

word count: 4.2k genre: smut tw: drinking, reckless behaviour

author’s note: I wrote this oneshot instead of writing my university application essays, just uploading all my old material before I move on to fresher ideas.

You’re pinned against the wall, both arms above you and locked tight as if you had handcuffs on your wrists. Your body being attacked at every inch your skin was showing. Face. Neck. Shoulders. You just closed your eyes and took in every sensation. The clenched hand holding your wrists. The sharp drop of oxygen from your lungs. The vibrations of his mouth against yours. The struggle against gravity to keep on standing, when your knees were ready to give way.

He pulled away, leaving both of you to gasp for air.

“How come you never told me you liked me?” He asked with a puzzled look.

“How come you could never take a hint?” You reply with a cocky attitude.

He pushed his torso onto yours, locking your back onto the wall. “Oh, is that any way to talk to your best friend?”

✎ 10 years ago

“HI! Looks like we’re locker buddies! My name’s Hoseok, what’s yours?” he asked with a smile so bright, its brightness could illuminate any moonless night.

“Um… Y/N.” A blunt reply. You hoped he’d get the hint and wouldn’t talk to you any further.

“Nice to meet you Y/N! Want a cookie? My Mom always packs me two cookies for lunch. I think she puts in molasses instead of brown sugar...”

He continued to ramble on. You figured he wasn’t going to leave you alone anytime soon, so you learned to just ignore him or reply in short phrases. This went on for a couple of months, but your cold attitude didn’t bother him at all. Every morning, he would always find something new to talk about, and it was getting annoying.

Your birthday soon rolled around, and you invited everyone in your homeroom class to come to your 13th birthday party, including Hoseok. Everyone liked him… except you. He was just too happy, and it annoyed you how sickly giddy he could be. Still, he wasn’t a bad person so you had no reason to hate him.

“Hey, Hobi… come on it’s time for cak- Are you ok?” You stepped out of your kitchen to the patio. He was sitting there alone. His eyes glistening, shit the kid’s crying.

He quickly wiped his eyes as soon as he saw you. “Hey Y/N, need a hand with opening your presents?” His smile had returned. Like a light switch, he just… stopped being upset.

“No thanks, but it’s time for cake. You coming in?”

“Ooh cake, yes please!” With that he darted into the house.

From that day onwards, you kept an eye on him, and you knew his secret. No matter how hurt he was, he was always smiling.

✎ ✎

Hoseok picked you up, lips still locked in a deep kiss. You wrapped your legs around his waist and hands around his neck. He held your thighs as he carried you towards your bed. For that moment, it seemed as if there was no-one else in the world but you and him. It was as if this was a novel and you two were the main characters, with everyone else blurring into the background. He placed you on your duvet, your lips never breaking contact. He pulled away first, trying to catch his breath. You sat up, and looked at him with questioning eyes.

“You know,” he began. He leaned against your chest of drawers. “If we do this, we can’t go back to what we were.” He spoke cautiously, as if he were treading on eggshells.

“What do you mean?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

“I mean, if we do this, we can’t go back to being friends. We might be able to, but to me it will be as if we’re pretending to be friends for old time’s sake.”

You stand up, directly in front of him. You have to tilt you head quite high to meet his eyes. “Ok, what did you say half an hour ago?”

He gulped, “I’ve been in love with you since I can remember.”

“Good, and what did I say?”

“Fuck off?” He grinned. There it was, that smile to hide anything he didn’t want to show.

“No.”

“You’ve loved me since we became best friends.”

“Exactly. Now…” You took off your sweatshirt and shirt at the same time, leaving you only in your lacy balcony bra, “we’ll always be best friends, nothing will change that.”

Hobi stared at your chest then at your gaze. You noticed a hungry look that you’d never seen before. His mouth parted just slightly, in awe, perhaps, of you taking off your clothes without hesitation. “You’ve seen me semi naked before,” you lifted his chin to look into his eyes, “what’s changed?”

He licked his lips. “Maybe the fact you’re taking your clothes off for me?”

“Hmm. I guess so, but that shouldn’t chang-”

He crashed his supple lips onto yours, taking you by surprise. “Are you sure about this?”

You look at him with your endearing eyes, a hand caresses his cheek as a coy smile spreads across your face. “Absolutely.”

✎ 7 years ago

“Hey, are you even listening? What’s the nucleus of an atom made out of?” You exclaimed with annoyance.

“Protons and neutrons. Look, I’m fine on chem, there’s no need to quiz me.” Hobi replied while styling his hair with his mother’s straighteners.

“You got 95% in the last test, it’s obvious you have to study.”

“Look Y/N,” he put down the straighteners and sat on his bed “you don’t have to get 100% in everything. It’s only the end of year exams that actually count towards your score.”

“I know that, but I’ve got a reputation to keep up. Plus, people think your scores are slipping because…”

“Because…?”

You sigh. “Because we’re too busy ‘dating’. I mean, where do these rumours come from?”

“Well, you’re always in my house, that’s one thing”

“Fuck off, it’s only because both my parents are usually out and I want to save on our heating bills.”

“Oh, so you’re mooching off me for warmth?”

“That, and your Mom’s snacks. Since you moved next door, I’ve had her cookies everyday. Are you sure she doesn’t put weed in them?”

“What? No. They just taste really good. I’m surprised your teeth haven’t rotted yet. Come on, no more Chemistry. We have a party to go to.” He put on his jacket and threw you yours.

“I’m only going so I can keep an eye on you, and remember, chugging down a two litre bottle of coke with mentos is not a fun experience.” You slip on your coat and flick your hair out so it hangs over your neck.

“Don’t remind me.”

Pretty much everyone was around 15 to 16 years old, there were 8 people in total. Pizza boxes stacked on top of the dining room table, fizzy drinks surrounding it. It was a gaming party and an intense game of monopoly was in session. Of course, you and Hobi were the winning team. Board games soon got boring, and so a round of spin the bottle took place. This was the age to pretend to be mature and try ‘adult’ games. Of course, no one wanted to kiss anyone in particular, so it became a hybrid version of truth or dare.

You stare at the bottle intently as the first round lands on you.

“Wooh! It’s Y/N’s go. Ok, truth or dare?” asked John.

“Well I’m not good with dares, so truth.”

“Are you and Hoseok actually dating?”

“Have you two kissed?” Another party-goer chimed in.

“What the fuck, no! We’re not dating.” You yelled in frustration. You could feel the blush creep up on your face, but prayed no one noticed because the bottle had already begun to spin again. Soon after, it landed on Hobi.

“Truth for me!” He chirped.

“I have one,” you note. “The day of my 13th birthday party, you looked upset. Why?”

“What the heck Y/N, that was like 3 years ago no one remembers shit from that long ago!” John proclaimed.

“No it’s ok,” Hobi continued, “That was the day my goldfish died.” You looked at him with a confused look.

“Alright, good enough, let’s go.” The bottle landed on more people until is was nearly 10pm, the time to leave. John began to spin the bottle. “For the last round, we’re going to spin it twice. The two people it lands on, they have to kiss. Whether it’s boy-boy or girl-girl, you still have to kiss.”

The bottle spins and lands on you and… fuck… Hobi. You two just look at each other with an expression of concern, but then just go for it, to get it over and done with. It was an awkward lip-touch kiss, neither of you dared to use tongue. Soon enough 5 seconds were up, and it was the time to leave. Of course, everyone would be talking about your kiss with Hoseok at school for the next month, but you couldn’t care less. You had Chemistry on your mind.

“Hey Y/N,” Hobi starts as you two walk the familiar path home. “Sorry about the kiss.”

“It’s fine, fuck what people say, right?”

“Yeah.” He let out a long sigh. “I lied. My goldfish didn’t die that day.”

“So why were you sad?”

“I was feeling lonely.” Your heart sank. “I’ve always been friendly with people, but I’ve never really had friends. I only realised it that day.”

You stopped in your tracks and turned to him. He paused too. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. “Listen to me motherfucker, you’re my best friend. If you ever feel lonely, I’ll be right over with ice cream and Twilight. Also, if any bitch breaks your heart, tell me and I will wreck her.” You let him go and continued walking as if nothing had happened.

You felt protective of him, but as a friend right? You surely weren’t falling in love with him.

✎ ✎

You lay on your bed in only your bra and underwear. Hoseok was also stripped down to his boxers, with a little help from you. You saw both your clothes mingle into a messy pile in the corner of your small bedroom. You’d been living in this apartment in the city since you ran an up and coming company. It was tiny, but it was your own place. It was home. Hoseok lived close, his dance studio was next to your office. Everyday, you’d get a perfect view of the zumba ladies in the morning, the little kids learning hip hop in the afternoon and his dance crew in the evenings. After work, you two would usually get dinner together and walk home. Old habits from your high school days.

Hoseok picked up his jacket and took out a condom from his inside pocket. He took the wrapper and put it down on the bedside table. “Now before all that, I have to make you wet.”

His head disappeared in front of your legs. He bent your knees and propped your hips up with a pillow, then he slid his fingers into your underwear and slowly took them off, past your thighs, knees, calves, until they were at your ankles. He took them off and added it to the pile of clothes. You took a deep breath, not knowing what to expect. That’s when he hit the spot. His tongue expertly slid along your folds. You let out a gasp, out of both shock and pleasure. He was now at your core, you were exposed to him. He slid his tongue into you as far as it would go, and back out. He continued this endless assault until you could contain it no longer and moaned his name.

“Wow, it feels quite hot when you say my name like that.” He returned to his position. “How long has it been since you’ve been laid?” His hot breath hit your entrance like dragon smoke. You were getting wet with every second his tongue lay on your spot.

“I think… around… 4 years?” You finally manage to get out.

“Wow since Uni? Have you just been touching yourself to satiate your urges?” He presses on.

“Of course. I’ve been busy, I didn’t have time to really screw anyone.”

Without warning, he slid a finger into you. You arched your back in response to the hormones coursing through your veins. “Your fingers have always been so slender, but I’m sure you’ve never felt like this when you did it by yourself.”

He pumped his fingers in and out of you at a painfully slow pace. Your hips travelled forward, for more of him, but he wouldn’t let you. He curled his finger inside you, touching your delicate walls. You thought you would go crazy if you didn’t climax soon. The teasing was becoming too much for you.

“Hoseok, if you make me come in the next 5 minutes,” you sat up and looked directly at his dark eyes. You seductively licked your lips and gave him a wink. “You know what I’ll do, now stop playing around.”

He slipped another finger inside you and started pumping at a steady rhythm. He put his thumb on your bundle of nerves and rubbed small circles into it. After ten circles, he would take his thumb off and suck on it for about two seconds. This torturous repetition continued until you felt a familiar presence in your lower abdomen. Soon enough, your mind, body and soul shattered. The high was nothing like you had experienced before, it was more carnal, almost animalistic in nature.

Hoseok removed the pillow from your hips. You were breathing heavily from your orgasm. He removed his boxers and began slowly pumping himself. “So, that took me four minutes and 12 seconds.” You looked up to see him palm his length. You wondered for a second if he would even fit inside you. “It’s time to keep up your end of the bargain.”

Hobi laid on the bed whilst you got onto all fours, still pretty shaken up from your first real orgasm in god knows how long. You had thought of the various positions and things you’d like to try with Hobi; against a wall, in the shower, blindfolded, the lot. You didn’t even know you wanted him in a way that’s more than a friend until you thought of him during one of your ‘relaxation’ sessions. The thought of him touching you everywhere just excited you, something which you’d never felt before. Now here he was, in front of you, naked. With the thought that you had been victorious in your mission in mind, you took his manhood into your mouth and began to move your head up and down.

✎ 4 years ago

“Why did you drive an hour and a half from your house to pick me up? I told you I was fine.” You exclaimed trying to keep your vision clear.

“Fine?! Bullshit Y/N. If I didn’t come when I did… Jesus, who knows what could have happened!” Hoseok was driving his car well above the speed limit, but he didn’t care about breaking the law. He did care about happened to you.

You had gone to a house party with a couple of other people from your University. While you were off pursuing higher education, Hoseok began apprenticing under dancers from ballet to popping, to become a choreographer. You two promised each other to talk everyday, and you did however you could. Calls, Facebook, Twitter and Skype,. He always informed you about his daily life, as did you. You thought this party would be like any other, some booze, weed and messy makeout sessions… but you overdid it on all three.

You had drunk way past your limit and gotten so faded it was difficult to even stand up. The number of people you kissed whilst inebriated was well over the half century mark, both guys and girls. You were just about to get frisky with another boy when your phone rang. It was Hoseok. You declined the call and continued your with your antics. It was only after you had stripped your underwear and was about to lose your virginity in someone else’s bedroom, when Hobi came bursting through the door. He picked you up and carried you and your belongings to his car.

“I told you I was going to a party! Why did you have to cockblock me?! Gosh you’re such an asshole!” You scream at him.

“Excuse me for being a good friend! You were going to have unprotected sex… while drunk! And… wait are you high as well?! Fuck Y/N, this isn’t like you at all.” Hoseok replied sternly.

“Well what am I like? A straight-A student who’s got her whole life sorted out. Well guess what, I’m not who you think I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I’m saying is that I’m sick of everyone expecting me to be this perfect embodiment of success. I mean… maybe I do want to smoke weed Mum. Or even fail my classes Dad. Or maybe I do want to get an STD from unprotected sex Hobi!”

“I get that you’re pissed off at me, but you’ll thank me one day. You’re just going through a rebel phase, it’ll pass don’t worry.”

“Thank you?! I was going to lose my virginity to.., whatever his name was!” You throw your hands up in defeat and slump into the passenger seat. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes, “Hobi, is there something wrong with me?”

“What? No. Nothing at all.”

“Then why can’t I get a boyfriend? Don’t give me all the bullshit about not finding the right guy! I mean, I do have guys as friends but they never like me as more than friends.”

“Maybe because they’d rather value their friendship to you than a relationship? Look, if you’re so desperate to get laid, make the first move. Only while you’re sober, understand?”

Your emotions switched from lonely to hopeful, damn you were totally drunk. You looked at Hobi as if he cracked the code to an impenetrable safe. “You’re an actual genius, Hoseok,” with that you passed out.

After that, you could only remember waking up to find yourself in Hoseok’s bed, with him next to you, accompanied by a killer hangover.

✎ ✎

Hobi grabbed your hair tight and pulled your mouth from his cock to his lips. The kiss was rough, needy, desperate. You could feel his tongue invade your mouth, trying to fight for dominance. Both of you had been warmed up sufficiently by all this foreplay, and now it was time for the real deal. Hobi slipped on the condom with ease. This is it, after all these years.

“Ok, I need you on all fours, but with your chest on the bed. Keep your hips up in the air, ok?” Hoseok guided you.

“Fine, but this feels like an awkward pose to start with.” You chimed, but doing as you were told.

“I know what I’m doing. Just wait until I’m inside you babe.” You can feel Hobi smirk as he says it.

You can feel the tip of his cock at your entrance, painfully teasing you. Your cheeks are burning red, from the stimulation and the annoyance that he’s making you wait. You just wanted him in you already, and your patience was beginning to wear thin.

Suddenly, Hoseok grabbed both sides of your hips and put his whole length in, hilt-deep. The sensation of being filled so quickly made you draw out a deep guttural moan. A string of curse words soon followed, which made him chuckle.

“You’re so cute when you swear Y/N.”

You kneel upright so your back is flush against Hobi’s chiseled abdomen, and turn your head to plant a small kiss on his lips. “Shut up and make me feel good, sunshine.” You grind against him, while his dick is still deep in you. You didn’t recall sex feeling this good. You felt Hoseok’s small smile drop and he starts nibbling on your neck.

He puts a hand on your nape and pushes you down, so you’re back to the position you started in. He puts a pillow right in front of you and raises your hips higher with his hands. “You see, what I like about this position... “ You feel him kneel forward until he’s right by your ear, “is that I can... Fuck. You. Hard.” He pronounce every syllable in a harsh tone. “Hold on tight, babe. You’ll feel like you’ve never done before.”

You do as instructed and place your hands on your small headrest, mildly excited for Hoseok to get on with it. He pulls out slowly, until he’s only a few inches in, and pounds into you with enough force to jolt you forward.

✎ 1 hour ago

“Ok ok, I have a really juicy secret!” You shout out. “When I was 11 years old, I drew dicks in the girls’ loos and the teachers thought one of the boys would do it. Turns out, my desk partner was caught with going to the girls’ toilets and he got blamed for the dicks.”

There weren’t many people around on the streets at this time of night, but this didn’t faze you. You had pepper spray in your purse and a knife tucked in the hidden compartment of your coat. Usually Friday nights were when you two went to the small Vietnamese place that was quite far away. You had just missed the last bus and now had to walk the 2 miles home, in the freezing cold.

“Shit, that must have taken guts.” Hobi responded to your statement. “Ok, um… you know when I told you I was dating Jennifer Griggs?”

“Yeh?” You answer cautiously.

“Well, turns out she was a lesbian who was only dating me to convince her parents that she was straight.”

“No way! That’s actually so sad, I feel bad for her. I called her a bitch once because she took my cookie by accident.”

“Don’t you mean my cookie? You always stole my food.”

“Not always, if you’re not looking, it doesn’t count as stealing, duh!”

“You’re such a douche.”

“Ooh I’ve got one. At Uni, I joined the BDSM society and pretty much attended orgies every week.”

“Holy hell, seriously? Is this when you would tell me you’re off to go swimming?!”

“Yes, I’ve never step foot inside the swimming pool there. Although I was actually a weird one, because I would only join in like once a month but I only became a watcher about a year in.”

“How come?”

“Because none of them were you.”

Shit. You should not have said that.

“Ok it’s my turn.” Hoseok began after a long pause. He let out a deep sigh, “I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and stood to face him. You stood on your tiptoes to reach his ear. “My place is closer.”

✎ ✎

You were so close to climaxing, you thought you would pass out if you didn’t reach your orgasm soon. Somehow, Hobi sensed that you were close and began thrusting into you at a faster and harder pace. His hips rolled into yours effortlessly, you expected nothing less of the fantastic dancer. Your heart felt as if it would tire from beating too fast, and your hands balled fistfuls of your bedding. Soon enough, one final body roll was all it took for you to reach your high at an altitude beyond the heavens. You felt as if you had left the astral plane and ascended beyond comprehension and bodily existence. Whilst descending, you realised that Hobi was still pounding into you, using your high to fuel his own when later he too reached his limits. He collapsed on top of your back, using his forearms to stop himself from crushing you underneath his weight.

You wince at the feeling of him pulling out but you’re so exhausted, only sleep is on your mind. As Hobi goes to clean himself up, you curl up under your duvet, wearing your birthday suit. You’re sweaty and sticky from all the activities and wonder if you ought to shower now, but that thought soon leaves your head when Hobi slips in next to you. His arm snakes around your waist and brings it closer, so your hair tickles his chin. You slip a leg around him and hook your arm over the side of his chest.

“You know,” you begin as you lift your head to face him, “We’re merging with Google next week, I’ll get a raise and y’know… maybe you can live with me? I’ll get a bigger bed and maybe decent sheets and we can move closer to your studio, but I don’t think I can cook dinner every night because I can only boil pasta.” You rattle on faster than your speed of thought.

“Y/N…” Hobi begins with a bright smile. “Are you asking me to be your sugar baby?”

“Well, maybe. Unless you’re not down for that, which is totally cool with me.” You reply with exasperation.

“No, I’m fine to be whatever you need me to be. Sugar baby, husband, boyfriend, one night stand.” He listed.

“Well tonight… will you be my best friend?” You ask inquisitively.

“Forever.” He kisses your forehead as the two of you merge into each other, drifting off into a blissful slumber.

#hoseok #jung hoseok #hobi #jhope #jhope smut #jhope fanfic #hoseok fanfic #hoseok smut #bts fanfic #bts smut

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captainkirkk · 5 years ago

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King Falls AM Fic Recs

I finished listening to Kfam about a week ago and immediately started binge-reading fics (and re-listening to the entire series). So rather than clogging up my weekly fic round-up, I thought I’d make this into its own list. I’ve still got plenty of fics left to read, but here’s a list of the ones I’ve really, really enjoyed so far.

(Contains spoilers!)

You Don't Tip Over by helloearthlings (Note: this author is going to keep popping up in this list - their fics are just so good)

“I mean, I’m just an intern,” Ben says quickly. “I’m not – I’m not complaining or anything. It’s just – I came to LA just for this internship, and I’ve never lived away from home before. So on top of all the shit I get here, I’m in this awful sublet with five roommates who act like smoking pot is a personality and there’s never a moment’s quiet, and it’s so expensive anyway. I just really miss my mom, this is the first time I’ve lived more than a few miles from her, and the town I’m from is just so special to me and I’ve never been away for longer than a week – oh God, I’m rambling, I’m so sorry -”

“Ben,” Jack moves to squeeze his shoulder, recognizing the symptoms of a panic attack after years of helping Sammy through his. “Just breathe. In and out. You’re gonna be okay.”

[In which Jack recruits Ben as an intern for Shotgun Saturday Nights.]

Take My Heart and Run Along by SolBaby

Ben is 12 and Sammy is 18 and they're whole years too young to try and survive and navigate life on their own. But they have friends who love them more than they know what to do with. And they have each other, despite everything bad in their life that's trying to force it otherwise, at the very least, they have each other. And that's the best they could ever hope for.

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

Cassidae

Ben had This Is Your Year, Sammy Stevens clips edited to Green Day’s Good Riddance, subtitled Time of Your Life. It’s a song about someone leaving, but that’s semantics.

Then Sammy’s gone.

[ The first Sammiversary happens sans Sammy. This is what happens after. ]

Wish You All The Best by FoxGlade

“This is gonna sound like a stupid question,” Ben says suddenly, “but what year is it?”

Well, Ben has said stupider things. “2018,” Sammy answers. Ben looks to Jack, who looks to Emily, who narrows her mouth into a thin line.

“That’s… maybe a problem,” she says.

(The Christmas magic of King Falls strikes again, giving Sammy a firsthand account of his own future.)

Call On Me by FoxGlade

There's only one 24 hour grocery in King Falls. Considering the night owl habits of what seems like half the town, Emily was expecting it to be busier, but she's the only one cruising the aisles at 4am on a Tuesday morning. She's just passed the pharmacy section and picked up the medicine she needs, and now she's idling in the produce section. It's maybe too early in the morning for her brain to be online.

But it's not too early for someone else.

The phone only rings once before the voice on the other end says, “You're live on King Falls AM for our special Get Better Ben show.”

(Emily calls into the station while Ben is home sick.)

for a higher love by helloearthlings

“Supreme Court legalized same sex marriage this morning, 5-4.”

Ron could tell in an instant that Sammy already knew; something about him crumpled when Ron said it out loud.

God, the guy was – sad about this? Ron’s quiet suspicion about which way Sammy swung was absolutely confirmed – the straight and narrow of King Falls might be all woe is me over the fact that they didn’t have a monopoly on marriage anymore, but no one looked this wrecked if the decision didn’t affect them personally. The question was why this had put Sammy in some sort of drunken stupor.

[Ron, Sammy, and Pride in King Falls.]

tell me we'll never get used to it by feather_cadence

Ben, Sammy, and Lily come up with some rules for living together. Lily tries to figure out just where it is she fits.

reflected by helloearthlings

“Oh God,” Sammy says faintly with Ben’s voice, staring slack jawed. “I didn’t even know my face was capable of making that expression.”

Ben doesn’t think he has any particular expression on but Jack nods emphatically in Sammy’s direction. “That’s how I knew it wasn't you! Your face just doesn’t do that.”

“Do what?” Ben feels particularly defensive of his face – it’s his face, he can’t change it, except apparently he can, since it’s Sammy’s face right now and oh shit, Ben needs to lay back down and wake up from this surreal dream.

Shine by neversaydie

It's not a flashy affair, more of a cookout than a parade, but Ron's dock is decked out in rainbow bunting and there are cheesy tunes blaring from a speaker inside the Bait and Tackle - as the man himself flips burgers in nothing but his daisy dukes and a rainbow flag tied around his shoulders like a cape.

He is, quite literally, the hero they deserve.

Sammy watches from a distance, leaning against the side of the shop and nursing a beer as the party unfolds. There's already talk of repeating the event next year, getting some local sponsorship and making it bigger and better.

It's… nice. Weird, but nice.

[in which Pride makes it to King Falls, and Sammy gets used to being out and proud.]

Tend by helloearthlings

Ben had been so startled the first time this happened, running in and finding Sammy sobbing and crying out like there was a monster under the bed, but Ben had quickly adapted to this new feature of their friendship. He could be the big brother for a change. He’d shaken Sammy awake, wrapped his arms around him and fell back asleep curled up next to him to make sure Sammy slept through the night.

Sammy told him again and again, with a lack of eye contact and pink cheeks, that it really wasn’t necessary, that he could take care of himself. To which Ben always replied that Sammy had done enough taking care of himself in the last three years and it was someone else’s turn now.

i'm bleeding, i'm not just making conversation by helloearthlings

“I – I don’t know how to say it,” Sammy says, desperately wanting to because he just wants someone to understand, but he knows Jack can’t no matter how hard he tries, and Sammy’s so ashamed already even without his best friend knowing he’s faked his entire life. “I think I’ve been trying to say it all my life, but I can’t, I just can’t, I can’t say this out loud. Every goddamn choice I’ve ever made, every decision, every fucking – personality trait – it’s all fake, it’s all to stay hidden, I don’t think I’m a real person, I really don’t think I’m real.”

[Sammy's internalized homophobia over the years.]

living for the right now by helloearthlings

The crib isn’t all that’s in the box. There’s a stack of kids’ books – Dr. Seuss, mainly. A couple of onesies. One of them is yellow and has a giraffe pattern on it, the other green with turtles.

What really gets Ben is a little brown bear, barely bigger than Ben’s hand when he picks it up with all the reverence he can muster. It’s got a big, bright smile, little black nose, and says I Love You Beary Much on the heart in its paws.

“Oh,” Ben hears Sammy’s voice whisper from somewhere behind him. His voice is very soft and thick, like he’s choking tears back.

That’s when Ben breaks, little sobs coming out of his mouth that he just can’t help.

Oh Bondage, Up Yours

neversaydie

Part 1 of Kink Falls AM (Note: I don’t normally rec smut fics, but this series is a character study with an amazing amount of depth that just happens to be centred around kink. Very well written.)

In which Sammy and Jack's less than vanilla sex life becomes apparent, Ben is extremely sex positive while trolling, and Sammy is absolutely mortified.

a fever i am learning to live with by helloearthlings

Sammy had never lived alone before he came to King Falls.

[Five times Sammy had to deal with living alone for the first time, and one time Ben put a stop to that.]

#my posts #fic recs #kfam #king falls am #man i HOPE that 'read under the cut' works #if not: i'm so sorry mobile users #long post /#kfam recs

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koiyyo · 5 years ago

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SDR2 “modern” gamenight HCS!

danganronpa modern au hcs where the cast has gamenight! -made by mod cass, mod corn, mod irusu, mod chi, and mod dragon

theres 3 parts to this post for all of the games! this post is the second game’s cast, third part coming soon!

hajime

takes the games way to seriously

has to take orange juice breaks so he doesn’t snap nagito's neck in half

practices console games in his freetime to someday beat chiaki

always screaming at nagito that he has uno

a negotiator like makoto but just fuels everyone’s lust for blood

akane

also does better when food is bet

a lot of games have crumbs in them cause’ she eats during game night to much,,

very violent

really stupid and says all of her cards

-is playing poker- “bingo!”

fuyuhiko

suggests russian roulette every game night

peko is the one that stops him from doing it

gets really fucking mad

baby rage baby rage baby rage

almost killed kokichi during charades, the word was “baby gangster”, kokichi pointed at fuyuhiko

sonia

suggested for them to use the ouija board

gets contacted the most by demons?? how is she not in the shadow realm by now

loves barbie related games, especially the dress-up ones

purposely plays bad so she can get help from kazuichi and gundham, only to destroy that trust and beat them

kazuichi

can chug beverages faster than anyone

has earned him a total of $5

was the third person that agreed to strip poker

tries to help sonia in games then immediately gets fucked over by her

never learns and keeps trying to help her

imposter(byakuya)

literally the only one who can fuck up real byakuya’s vibe

stole all of his money in monopoly and made him broke

sucks at literally everything except making real byakuya’s day worse

teruteru

spends most of his time in the kitchen cause aoi and akane have APPETITES

game night always has snacks cause of him

was one of the three people who actually agreed with hifumi’s strip poker idea

stops the game so he can call his mom

mahiru

has to make sure hiyoko doesn’t cheat, can’t do that job very well

is honestly just vibing

has a weird obsession with pokemon snap

discriminates against the boys with tenko for ‘not helping out the girls’

peko

a fucking god at beat saber

accidentally bonked fuyuhiko with the controller so she stopped playing it

likes to play that one wii sword-fight showdown game

also accidently bonked mahiru because she got way too into the game, and had her rights revoked

fights mukuro in literally every wii fighting game, they both tie

hiyoko

threatens people so they’ll tell her their cards/answer

way to good at hungry hungry hippos

whenever someone ‘targets’ her, she’ll go babey mode and ‘waaah’

ends up at baby table with makoto at some point

sonia, akane, and mahiru all help her get close to winning whatever game because they feel bad

somehow wins every round of just dance

ibuki

claims to be good at karaoke

broke the machine by singing

vibes on guitar hero

literally hit her head on the ceiling at some point

chaotic at any card game.

mikan

has a breakdown whenever she gets 1 (one) card in uno

good at that one operation game

has had to treat way too many injuries from game night

“sSSTOP HITTING EACH OTHER WITH THE WIIMOTES”

yells “WAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAH” then sobs when she gets a +4

finally snaps after she got 40 cards in an uno game

nekomaru

way too encouraging

“nekomaru that's a +4 stacked on top of two other +4s” “GREAT TEAMWORK GUYS”

loves mario party games

“LOOK AT THIS TEAM! WE’RE DOING GREAT” “nekomaru we’re losing plea-”

nagito

the dude who gets an entire deck of plus four cards in uno on accident

the only person on earth who has ever beat celeste and it was in a game of war

claims he doesn’t have uno

the guy who tries to preach about hope in a uno match for no reason.

gundham

would do the ouija board but chickens out

gets distracted by the person hosting’s pets if they have pets

ends up playing with the pets more than other people

speaks hamster so he has his hamsters cheat for him

played the ‘world of zoo’ game as a kid, and still plays it when nobody's watching

got in a match with kiyo, lost on purpose because kiyo began chanting dark spells

chiaki

always suggests console games

always wins said console games

mukuro and her always tie or beat each other by 1 point in fps games

bullies hajime in mario kart

“chiaki what does this banana do” “bruh idk drive over it”

posted by mod cass

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