#MAN I WISH I COULD WRITE THIS BETTER

[psychotic-nonsense]

This was originally planned to be its own fic, with background and build up and ✨️longing✨️, but I don't think it'll work out. Can't write slow burn to save my life.

Enjoy this bit of it because I'm still gonna be thinking about it.

Context - Post Vecna, a few days after the gates open. Eddie lives, barely, and has some trouble moving. Max survives, though with impaired vision and legs, Vecna having taken barely enough from her to open the gates. The Party finds an abandoned shelter outside of town after everybody reunites, using it as their base.

-----------

It's logical, he tries to reason. It makes sense, it's the only real way to handle this situation.

The kids are all bunking together, no doubt turning the entire floor into one single bed. With the Cali-Crew (quote Dustin) finally back home, no one would dare try and separate them. Besides, the fight over who got to bunk with Max to watch over her injuries was getting too annoying for anyone to keep dealing with.

The adults are bunking together as well. Having one guy sleeping alone in a room each during these times, when danger was prominent every single night, seemed weird to the Russians and Wayne. Plus, as Murray jokes, it "keeps an eye on Hop and Joyce at night" (he got a few punches for that one, laughing all the while).

But the teens started this whole thing - or rather, Argyle did. The second they found out how many rooms there were available in the shelter, he called shotgun on one for just him and Jonathan. The adults reluctantly agreed to it, so Nancy took the chance and grabbed a room for her and Robin, to everyone's surprise.

Which left one last pairing.

Steve did look a little upset about not getting to bunk with Robin (and if you ask Eddie, a little scared, but he won't even try and think of the reason). But upon her and Nancy's shrug and responding, "Girls night," he conceded with an eye roll and a sighed, "Girls night..." before immediately grabbing Eddie to take the room in the middle of the hall.

And that seemed to be Steve's only grievance about bunking with Eddie. Everything else he's seen in the past few days of their recovery, his quirks and struggles alike, he looks ready to take in stride.

Eddie sleeps far from the door with his spear and shield next to him? "I would've fought you on that first, man. And hey, my bed back home has a bat on each side. This thing never leaves me."

Eddie's gauze leaks through with shit from his wounds? He can barely walk to the door without shaking? "We dealt with the same bats, Eds, it's okay, I got you."

Eddie has a big emotional gay crush on the guy and everytime he's called "Eds" he wants to beg for Steve to hold him and never let go?...Well, Steve doesn't know about that one, but it's only a matter of time honestly.

Especially considering the damn sleeping arrangement, which makes itself prominent the second they open the door.

While the rooms themselves aren't so bad, considering the age of this place, Steve and Eddie got lucky enough to find the one room with only one proper bed. Connected bathroom and pull out couch, yeah, sure, cool. But the springs in the couch are rusted through and snapped shut when Eddie tried to open it, so that's a no.

And Steve, still recoiling from the bang of the couch, had the audacity to try and suggest he sleep on the floor?!

"Hell no, Steve!" Eddie immediately fought. Showing too much care that it makes Steve look shocked. "Do you know how many rats could've been crawling around on that? We can clean the bed, but who knows what's hiding in those cracks? Just take the bed and I'll sleep on the couch-"

"After that thing almost exploded?!" Steve exclaimed back. He's a little concerned, with his puffed chest and hands on his hips countered by the softer give in his eyes. "No way, Eds, not with your bites still fucking you up." Stop looking at his eyes, Munson. "I'll just get another bed from the spare rooms-"

"Nope, not happening either." Steve may still be the hot ass jock he was in high school, but a year out of the gym and his own wounds in his sides and back would make just that torture. Because there's no doubt he'll reject any help, try and do it all his own. And Eddie refuses to let him run into pain again. "The couch works just fine as is, and I can barely move anyway, so no harm no foul, right?"

"You could fall off," Steve responds, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

"You'll get rabies on that floor," Eddie counters. Then he tilts his head to the side, a lilt in his tone. "Can't worry our dear Buckley, now can we?"

Steve snorts at that, making Eddie smile. Goddamn it, Munson. "You wouldn't be able to get up on your own from the couch," Steve counters yet again, smiling like it's a competition now.

"You wouldn't be able to get up at all," Eddie fights back.

"The bed probably stinks."

"And you'd still let me go up there?"

"You need actual sleep."

"So do you."

"...You wouldn't wanna move rooms?"

"Steve, you don't even want to move."

They're both smiling so wide it has to hurt Steve the way it hurts Eddie. Every counter they've taken a step forward until they're almost face to face, same height even with Eddie's trembling from sliced nerves.

Someone has to break soon - "Then take the damn bed, Munson!" - and it turns out to be Eddie. Because of course.

"Only if you do too!"

There isn't enough metal in the walls for the words to be echoing this much. It's the first retort Steve's actually affected by, flinching back just a hair but it's enough. His expression goes from giddiness to a kind of seriousness Eddie can't decipher.

Eddie's frozen solid. He doesn't want to know what he looks like, knows enough how his eyes are way too wide, that his mouth is stumbling over words it can't make. Look who's really fucked up now, the dude saved your life and you two are finally friends, and you're repaying the favor by asking him to sleep with you. Shameful, disgusting, inconsiderate...

But Steve's looking over at the bed. Assessing the dust covered sheets, the pillows and slightly moldy headboard, and then...

He fucking shrugs like it's no big deal and is saying "Okay," like it doesn't stab Eddie right in the throat, making him squeak as he's brought out of his head into something that cannot be reality.

"Okay?" Eddie responds, incredulous, watching Steve go over to their duffel bags in the hall.

"If it means you'll back down, sure. That thing's big enough for the both of us anyway." Steve throws the bags on the couch, flinching a little when he stands up straight again. "You could've just suggested that from the start, Eds, could've saved us the trouble with the death trap over here." He jokes, nodding at the couch.

But Eddie doesn't catch it, shocked in silence. Making a big deal out of nothing because of his stupid stupid heart. "You're serious?"

Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes as if he's offended by Eddie's surprise. The mirth in his eyes hasn't faded though. "I'm not scared of a little sleepover, man. And if it wasn't you it was gonna be Robin, so don't think you're special." He walks over to the bed as he says that, but Eddie still catches the fear in his eyes again. The one flavored with loneliness.

But as Steve starts carefully pulling the sheets off the bed, he softens again, meeting Eddie's eyes with a kindness that's so genuine. Breath, Munson, that's a thing you need. "Seriously though, Eds, I'm cool with it, don't worry. We've both been through some worse shit than this, yet I'm still here. So are you." Steve averts his eyes, looking almost sheepish as Eddie's heart basically implodes. "Don't think you can push me away now. You're stuck here, like it or not."

Steve occupies his hands with collecting the sheets, so carefully trying not to send dust everywhere. Eddie finally breaks out of his stupor, smiling as his chest sags in relief. Crush or not, Steve proves Eddie's little Upside Down speech right every single damn day. Playful and sarcastic and strong, but the hidden consideration and softness and care showing through. Every. Single. Time.

Steve reaches for the thin bed cover at the bottom, but Eddie's already there on the other side, pulling it out of his grasp. His head snaps up, surprise to open fondness. "You sure about that, Stevie?" Eddie jokes, slowly bunching up the sheet in his hands. Knows the truth is peeking through. "I've been called quite the unforgiving bunk mate."

Steve blinks at his words, searching him for something Eddie doesn't want to know. But then he's smiling too, not looking away as he goes for the pillows. "As long as you don't snore, I'll be the judge of that."

-----------

Eddie does snore.

Not outright, it's a barely there grumble if you get technical. But it comes up sometimes when he sleeps on his back, and thanks to those glorious bites, he's forced to. Thus, snoring. Steve would probably make fun of it, play up the annoyance and make a joke of it to get Eddie to laugh.

But they're both fast asleep. Steve in just sweatpants and Eddie in a shirt and shorts, on opposite ends of the bed, passed out with the exhaustion of the last week still weighing them down.

They're no better than the rest of the Party, their new base of operations providing them all a sense of safety no trailer or winnebago has before. Granting them all the deepest sleep they've had yet.

Still, the unconscious Steve shuffles in his sleep in the dead of night. His brain is a hive of noise in times like these, making his subconscious dark and uncomfortable. He's deep in slumber, exhaustion keeping him trapped down, so his body tries to counteract it, twisting and turning to find sanctuary.

The unconscious Eddie isn't faring any better. Even in sleep he's restless, his usual positions consisting of shuffling legs, constant turning, and the tight cradling of a pillow, all in the attempts to keep his body down and still. But with the wounds, he can hardly breathe without straining against them. Every attempt his subconscious makes to move, a sharp burst of pain shoots into his dreams, and he stops with a groaning snore. And though the blankets they could salvage are thick and comfortable, this new Hawkins post-Vecna is cold at night, and Eddie is too exposed to not feel the shivers rack his body, flaring the pain further.

With a sleepy mumble, Steve shuffles into the bed a little further, his brow straining against his mind's assault. At the same time, Eddie turns his head onto his uninjured cheek, the only movement his body will allow.

Steve squirms and it strains at the wounds in his back, so against the bruising pain of the bites, he turns over into his side. He's got more freedom than Eddie there, so while his body slowly settles against the pain, his other arm comes around to find peace in the sheets below. Anything to ground him from the memories swirling fast like rushing lake water.

And it finds something. Something solid, soft, real and breathing and alive and safe. Steve's too deep in sleep to comprehend it past that, so his fingers just run softly over it, savoring the tranquility it offers his rattled head.

Likewise, Eddie's snoring abruptly quiets with a breathy exhale. Something has grabbed hold of his upper arm. Soft and moving but it's warm, radiating heat up to his shoulder blade and down into his fingertips. Thankful and desperate, his subconscious moves him to shuffle sideways, face straining against the pain in search of the aid that'll soothe it.

At the same time, Steve also searches for more of that feeling, the edge of darkness licking at his heels as he tries to escape. Closes the gap.

Steve is now laying nearly on top of Eddie's right side, arm draped over his chest and head finding solace in the crook of his neck. All the while, both of them completely unconscious.

Steve's brain goes blissfully silent, the presence of another comforting his innate fears and driving away the darkness into a muted haze. It pulls his mind completely away from whatever pain resides in his torso, and he relaxes fully with a soft mumble.

Eddie sags into the bed with a deep exhale. The warmth digs deep into his bones, burning away the cold and restless twitching in his nerves. The pressure on his side adds to the weight on his mind, dragging him deeper into sleep. The pressure on his chest is just barely off of his wounds, soothing the stabbing in his gut in to a soft pulsing.

He leans more into it, meeting Steve breath for breath. Letting their hearts match in beat, sinking into peace. It's the safest and most comfortable they've been since hell froze over.

But as the night goes on, they'll slowly drift apart. When the sun rises they'll be separate once again. Their minds will only remember the peace, their bodies the vague touch of comfort.

Despite everything, they'll be none the wiser.

Despite everything, the next night, they'll long for it again.

And despite everything, they would find it.

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

[nucleo-bang-tan]

Grayscale Pt.3 | JJK

Pairing/s: Jungkook X Reader, Cha Eunwoo X Reader

Rating/s: No detailed explicit content, but wouldn't recommend it for minors.

Genre: Cheating AU, highschool sweethearts, first love, Moving On AU

Word Count: 3.1 k

Warning/s: OC talks to Jungkook, a bit possessive Jungkook, healing, closure, PDA, adopting, pregnancy.

A/N: Not proofread!!! Please leave comments, I would love to hear from you guys. Critique my writing and tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, really appreciate it.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The act of letting someone sucks your life away. Seeing Jungkook again for the divorce was harder than you thought.

Even though he wanted to, he never begged you again to take him back. Both of you knew, clinging onto each other would cause more pain than healing.

"That's not how you play the game! You're cheating." You giggled.

Eunwoo could feel his heart flutter at you being happy, your eyes crinkling into crescents. This was the first time he saw you so cheerful after the incident. He couldn't help but wonder what made Jungkook hurt such a genuine and kind soul.

"I'm not gonna win against you if I don't cheat." He teased.

"So you admit it!" You hit his arm playfully.

"Hey now, violence is not the answer."

There was a moment of laughter followed by silence before you spoke up, "Call me sappy, but I'm going to miss you. Like a lot."

"1 month, huh? I think you can handle it." He said, brushing his hair back.

You couldn't help but well up at the thought of him leaving for that long, "You're supposed to say 'I'm gonna miss you too' dumbass."

He sighed, "Thank you..."

"I should do the thanking here." You chuckled, looking at him nervously.

"Thank you for not laughing at me being a loser at games..." He took your hand in his, "...thank you for being my friend."

His unfeigned tone made you cry out. He knew it was coming, he had to go on his business trip real soon. But he had a few months, which he decided to spend consoling you.

Like he did now, he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry on his chest, tears staining his shirt.

Jungkook and Gaeul left you with serious trust issues. But Eunwoo never left any corners for you to not trust him. It was as if you trusted no one but him.

Your parents, as expected, had the phrase, 'i told you so' written on their faces. They were never happy with your relationship, always hoping you'd marry a guy of their choice. You wondered if that would have been better.

Jungkook's parents visited you a day before your legal seperation. His father went as far as to threaten you to not break off the marriage. It would damage his reputation as a CEO.

Eunwoo politely yet sternly told them to leave and held you as you cried for an hour after that.

Your nights were sleepless. You had been with Jungkook for so long, that you couldn't sleep without his presence. Eunwoo would sacrifice his sleep to sing and hum for you as you tried to sleep.

Most of his attempts would go to vain but he still kept humming for you.

"I-I don't want you to go."

"I have to, Y/n." He hugged you tighter.

Maybe this wasn't the right time to tell you what he thought about you. But this was the only time he had. You were left broken after what Jungkook did, and Eunwoo didn't want risk your comfort and trust in him.

But he had to tell you.

"Y/n... I-"

You pull back to look at him, eyes red with the tears shed, "Eunwoo?"

How he wished it was him instead of Jungkook. How he wished Jungkook would have never met you, then you'd find a real man (Eunwoo) to cherish you.

He remembered the first time he saw you in college, stumbling in late to a lecture because you were messing around with Jungkook. Your hair a bit unkempt but nothing too wild.

He remembered how you sat beside him and he couldn't help but ask you your name. The two of you immediately clicked.

He remembered how his stomach dropped when he heard you had a boyfriend. He was still extremely close to you, despite you already having Gaeul as your 'best friend.'

He remembered the night where he actually fell for you. The night where your friends left to explore a foreign city you visited. Gaeul and Jungkook took advantage of the situation and went missing as well. You and Eunwoo were left alone. Both of you sat in the pool of the hotel, looked at the stars and talked about everything. Until you fell asleep and Jungkook came to carry you back to your room.

He remembered how he felt light headed when Jungkook asked him to plan a proposal for you. But he still smiled and decided to help him. Atleast you were happy, he thought.

He took a deep breath, "I like you. Heck, I may even be in love with you. Please don't take this the wrong way but... I've had feelings for you ever since we first met. I'm not pressuring you or-"

You cut him off with a smile, "Eunwoo, it's okay. I know."

"I wish I could stop myself but- wait. You know?"

You nod, slightly laughing at his nervous state, "I know, Eunwoo. I've always known. But I need time to get over...you know."

"Yes...yes! I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I just had to let you know how I felt."

You wipe your cheeks with your sleeve, "I don't want you to wait for me, I don't know when I'll move on from him, or if I even will move on."

Eunwoo gently wiped away a lingering tear from your cheek, his touch soft and reassuring. "I'll wait for you, Y/n. No matter how long it takes. You deserve to heal at your own pace."

You gave him a small, grateful smile, "Thank you, Eunwoo. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Did you get everything?" You asked.

"Calm down, I'll be alright. But you're the one who needs to take care." He held your hand in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb to warm you up a bit.

It was already time for him to go. So, you along with a few of your friends were here on a chilly morning to bid him farewell.

After sharing a few hugs, he finally approached you for a hug, to which you responded by jumping onto him making him stumble back a bit.

You hugged him tightly, burying your face in his chest, taking in his scent. You laughed, "Who said I wasn't going to tease your loser ass?"

Eunwoo couldn't help but hug you tighter. He couldn't do it again for another month, he tried to memorize every soft detail of your embrace.

It didn't take long for your laughter to seize. A person caught your attention. He stood there with a long trench coat and every recognisable characteristics covered except his puffy eyes. The sight of him brought an unexpected surge of emotions. You hadn't anticipated seeing him here, especially not today.

Jungkook.

What was he doing at the airport?

"Y/n, you're crying. Are you okay?" Eunwoo asked being concerned. He followed your line of sight and realised who caught your attention.

You didn't even realise you were crying until Eunwoo pointed it out. Jungkook stood at a fair distance. You noticed he was alone.

The two of you just stared at each other, you didn't want to talk to him and he understood that.

You felt a warm hand on your cheek. Eunwoo turned your head to look at him.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay." The approaching panic attack you felt was suddenly subdued with his words.

He leaned in to kiss your tear-stained cheek. He looked straight in your eyes when he said, "I love you. Believe me on that, yeah?"

"P-Please be safe." You tried your best not to look at your ex-husband; you focused your eyes onto the man in front of you.

"I'll see you soon." He held you in his arms one last time, only to let go hesitantly. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jungkook looked at you and Eunwoo, he had no right to be angry, he had no right to want to kick Eunwoo in the balls. He chuckled bitterly at his own thoughts.

Jungkook didn't know why you were here, he didn't know how you noticed him in a crowded space. He swallowed thickly and maybe it was the fact that he just wanted to disappear from your sight, but he turned around and decided to quickly walk away with his luggage.

He initially walked briskly but he resorted to running a few seconds in. His empty stomach didn't take him very far though; he stumbled and fell onto his knees in a scarcely crowded area of the airport.

Seeing you happy brought all the memories flush back to him. Your touch, your voice, your smile, your eyes, you was all he could think of. He doubled over in pain, quietly sobbing into his palms, his luggage laying beside him. Crying had become a second nature by now.

It clawed him from inside, you were his and only his but he knew he could no longer have you. He wanted to bawl out loud, beg you to start everything over again, but he had promised himself to stay away from you.

Fate had other plans though, he was returning to Seoul from his hometown when he saw you with Eunwoo and a bunch of close friends. The ones who used to his friends as well.

Jungkook looked at his shaky palms which were wet from his tears. He had good friends, a good work-life balance, and the best of all, he had you. But now his colleagues and employees were doubting his abilities due to his bad performance at work.

He'd never be present at his office after the divorce. One would always find him at his house or at the gym, jabbing the life out of the punching bag till he fainted.

It took him 15 minutes to realise it was extremely chilly at the airport, he decided to gather himself and sit in the car. Sure, he couldn't stop crying, but atleast he could smell the vanilla scented car freshner you had bought.

He leaned his head back, his nose taking in your favourite scent.

A knock on the window startled him. It was as if he was dreaming, and he probably was. Because it was you.

You opened the car door and got in the passenger's seat, "Glad to know you still kept the car freshner."

Now, Jungkook didn't have any issues with breathing, ever. But today, his lungs stopped working. It was you. You were in his car, but why?

"Y-Y/n..."

You looked like you had been crying as well but at the moment, you were neither sad nor happy, you just looked pissed.

You sighed, "Did you eat today?"

The question was so simple, so casual. But it hit something inside Jungkook's heart. He leaned down towards you, as if bowing to you and let his tears flow.

"I asked you something..." You said, trying to be cold. He looked you in the eyes and shook his head.

He didn't want to put you in a position where you had to take him back, but he still took your hands in his, "I was such-"

He was cut off by you repelling from his touch, "Please don't touch me, Jungkook. I'm not here to forgive you."

"O-oh, I'm so fucking sorry." He sniffed.

"You look awful."

"You look beautiful, as always." He said sincerely, making you blush a bit.

"I'm here because I care for you. Don't get the wrong idea but, I don't think I'll ever stop caring for you, Jungkook. Why aren't you looking after yourself?"

Jungkook was flustered by your suddeness. He had expected you to have moved on by now. But the fact that you were crying a while ago and you were here, in his car, said otherwise.

"It just isn't the same." He croaked out.

"Ofcourse it isn't, Jungkook. I wonder why."

"Y/n, I know you hate me, I know you don't want me anymore. But I don't want you to be kind to me." He closed his eyes, "Please curse at me, hit me, let it out. It's just me."

"It's not just you. I don't know you. You're a stranger to me." You said coldly.

Jungkook didn't answer, it was more like he couldn't answer. He looked down at his palm, which weren't shaky anymore. It was you who calmed him down.

You sigh, "I assume you have been talking to Gaeul?"

"I haven't, I don't even intend to."

"I called her a couple of months ago. She was livid at you. Said she'll slap you the next time she sees you." You chuckled, "She told me a lot about how you guys began and stuff. But it was the last time I'll ever talk to her."

He wiped his runny nose, "I guess you know about the time I threw her out of our house."

"Your... your house."

"Right, my house." He corrected himself.

After a moment of silence, Jungkook raised his head to look at you. He saw the love of his life looking outside the window. You looked as beautiful as the day he asked you out, if not more.

"Y/n, I-I love you."

You turned towards him to see a man who used to be the love of your life. He looked barely alive, barely living. Yet, somehow, his eyes were as pretty as always. But they didn't hold the universe you saw around a decade ago. They were just pretty eyes.

"You know there's a theory, if you stop loving someone, it means you never loved them in the first place. Love can never go away.

I probably won't ever stop loving you. But I don't want you, Jungkook. I've moved on."

"I-I know, I understand." Even though he knew, there was a huge part of him that wanted you to come back. That wanted you all to himself.

"Would you have kept the affair going if I never found out?" You asked.

"No, no! I wanted to stop, I promise. It started as a way for stress relief when you weren't available, but then..."

You scoff, "Then what, Jungkook? You loved to cheat on me, is it? You just loved to humiliate me? Makes sense."

Your tone didn't sound like yourself. You've never talked to Jungkook in this way, but then again, you couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Y/n, please, trust me. I've never wanted anyone but you. I've never loved her, I've never enjoyed the sex more. I just... don't know."

"You just loved the thrill of it all, didn't you. Cheating on your girlfriend, then on your fucking wife. How fucking far were you willing to go for sex?" A single tear rolled down your cheek.

Jungkook wished he could say otherwise. He wished he would've thought with his heart rather than his dick. All he could do was mutter sorry's.

"I forgive you, Jungkook." You said looking away.

His breath hitched as he heard the words come out of your mouth.

"I forgive you. The only thing you can do for me is take care of yourself and move on."

"I-I don't think I can." He sobbed, his stomach did flips that made him nauseous.

You finally touched him and intertwined your fingers with his, it was familiar but it didn't feel like home anymore.

"Cook for yourself, eat better, yeah?" You smiled.

"I can't do this without you, Y/n."

"You can, I know you can."

"I can't, I fucking can't. Please..."

You slowly let go of his hand as he kept saying 'no'.

"I'm sorry, baby." You whispered, "I have to leave."

You opened the car door and got out. Jungkook wished he could see you clearly, but his vision was blurred. You waved a final goodbye and gently closed the door.

As he saw you walk away, he noticed you took the car freshner with you, a subtle way to let him move on.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Eunwoo!" You rushed over to him and captured him in an embrace. He twirled you around as you both laughed.

His month long business trip had already ended and he had just returned to Seoul.

He let you down and spoke, "How have you-"

He was cut off by you pulling him extremely close to you face. Your noses were touching and lips only a few millimetres away.

Eunwoo's eyes widened. He was definitely dreaming. Or did the plane crash on his way back and he was in heaven?

"I've not done this before but..." You said softly, "Would you go out with me?"

"I think you know what I'll say to that." He closed the distance between your lips.

It was like the two of you were alone at the airport. The nasty glares from strangers didn't exist, nor did any other problem in the world.

Eunwoo would be happy even if the world ended this very moment. But then again, he wouldn't get to love you enough.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jungkook exhaled softly as he blinked his eyes, trying to wake up. He slowly pushed himself up and sat against the headboard.

He shivered, ofcourse. It was too cold without you. It had been 5 years already but no morning went without a thought of you.

As an unhealthy daily habit, he took his phone from the side table. Instinctively, his thumb went to Instagram to stalk you. His eyebrows furrowed realising you changed your profile picture.

This didn't seem right to him. Why was Eunwoo holding you like that? He decided to check your feed. Something wasn't right. There was a recent post from you.

A post announcing your pregnancy.

It took him a full minute to process what was happening. You were having a baby, with someone that wasn't him.

He blinked back his tears, reading the caption, 'You're gonna be the best father.' with a photo of Eunwoo holding your slightly large belly.

He reminded himself, there was more to live for. He should've moved on by now but he simply couldn't. His thoughts were so loud that he couldn't hear small footsteps. The person climbed onto the bed and peeked into his phone.

"Is that mommy?" He asked making Jungkook snap out of it.

"Ah, Jaehyun." He took the 7 year old in his arms.

"Isn't that mommy, daddy?" The child persisted.

"No, Jaehyun. She's just a woman I love."

"So, she's mommy?"

He sighed. How would he explain this to a 7 year old? Jungkook didn't want to bluntly tell him that he was adopted and didn't have a mother.

"Let's go for a walk with Bam. I'll tell you everything about the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

[soleminisanction]

Like I mentioned on my previous post, there’s a particular aspect of how Steph got fired from being Robin that I find particularly interesting. (And based on your tags, @alvindraperzzz, you're going to enjoy this as well ;) )

So, just as a reminder, this is the deal that Stephanie and Bruce make when he agrees to let her be Robin:

"You're on probation. You don't learn any of the big secrets. And the first time you disobey my orders, is the precise moment you're out. No second chances."

Here's what makes this interesting: Tim also had a probationary period. It took place between 1989's "A Lonely Place of Dying" storyline and 1991's Robin miniseries, happening in scattered pieces across bits of Batman, Detective Comics, and other associated books.

Aside from changes in comm-tech between 1989 and 2003, there's only two major differences between Steph's probationary period and Tim's. First, Tim already knew the biggest of the Big Secrets, so he gets moments of interacting with Bruce and Alfred in civilian mode and even stays with them during school holidays. And second, Tim was not allowed his own costume and was forbidden from going out on patrol. Presumably, this second difference comes from a mix of Bruce's implied scheme to lure Tim back, Steph already having copious experience on the streets as Spoiler, and just general management of their differing personalities.

The important thing is, during this time, Tim was under the same restrictions as Steph: stay out of this fight, and if you disobey me you're gone. And there came a time, right at the end, where Batman wound up in a dangerous situation versus a supervillain (in this case, Scarecrow) and the would-be Robin chose to break the rules. What's interesting is the parallels and differences between the two scenes, and how, if you're paying attention, they're pretty consistent, despite their very different endings.

For one, in Tim's case, he's not initially on the scene, and he doesn't have contact with Bruce (like I said, 1980's comm-tech -- Oracle wasn't even a thing yet). This means that he isn't defying direct orders when he chooses to act. And he doesn't rush in himself right off the bat -- his first choice is actually to dial up Commissioner Gordon on the landline.

It's only after he runs out of ways to get a hold of Batman and warn him of the danger that he makes the decision to go out. And he does so very conscious of the fact that this is going to cost him Robin, in spite of the months of work he's put in.

Stephanie, on the other hand, is on the scene and has a direct line to Batman. She's chattering in his ear the whole time, to the point that he has to tell her to be quiet because she's distracting him. And when the fight gets going, he tells her repeatedly that he's doing fine, don't come in here, stay in the plane.

She lasts maybe fifteen seconds before abandoning her comms and diving in.

She doesn't wait or consider her options. She doesn't even give their deal so much as a passing thought. She simply assumes that she knows better than him and leaps in without thinking. Which mostly just demonstrates that a) she doesn't trust him which is bad when you're trying to form a partnership, and b) she can't be trusted to follow orders.

Also, frankly, she demonstrates poor judgement by completely misjudging the situation. Bruce does not need her help. Even injured, he's doing just fine. Stephanie rushing in is nothing but a distraction and, ultimately, what loses the fight.

Tim, on the other hand, judged the situation correctly. When he arrives on the scene, Batman (and innocent civilian Vicki Vale, not shown for space) is in trouble. He's been caught by Scarecrow and genuinely needs the back-up because he's being psychologically tortured.

Another parallel is that both Robins wind up in trouble as a result of coming to Batman's rescue. Which makes sense, they're teenagers versus adults with super-tech, training and horrible fear chemicals.

In Tim's case, he gets doused with fear gas (specifically "essence de trauma" because this was back when Scarecrow had specific strains of his stuff) which trapped Tim in an illusion of the very recent attack on his parents. Seriously, this is happening like, the day after they buried his mother.

But! He pulls himself out of it with the help of what might be hallucinations or might be the ghosts of Jason Todd and the Earth-1 Dick Grayson (it's never explained because this was the late 80s and nobody questions this stuff when half the creative staff is running on cocaine.) He then manages to turn the tables on Scarecrow and actually save the day.

Stephanie, on the other hand, gets herself caught.

Which, like I said, loses Batman the fight. And more importantly, it puts Steph's life in danger and she's not able to get herself free.

And it isn't like she doesn't have the opportunity, in-universe. This is where the scene ends, but Bruce recaps on the next page how Scarab, quote, "Left Robin tied up, but alive and uninjured" when she stole the Bat-plane to make her escape.

So, if you're a reasonable person, I hope you can see how there's already multiple strikes against Steph that don't really apply to Tim: she broke the rules thoughtlessly instead of with consideration, she defied direct orders instead of taking initiative on her own, and she completely misjudged the situation, putting herself in danger for no real reason and costing Batman the fight.

But now, we come to the difference that almost everyone overlooks, but I think is the real key to the whole thing: how each Robin behaves in the aftermath.

Because, see, Tim comes to Bruce immediately afterwards and owns up to everything.

I really like this scene because what Tim says here is very deliberate. He doesn't make excuses or try to deny anything. He simply explains himself and then apologizes, fully willing to accept the consequences of his actions.

It's a very mature thing to do. I couldn't have done it at 13. I'm not fully confident I could do it now, at 33. And in return, Bruce says this:

This is the story where Tim earns his wings. In the next two pages, he's given his costume and is officially made the new Robin. And it's because he demonstrates, through his actions in this story, that he understands both the weight of the legacy and the very real responsibility he's about to leap into.

Compare that to how it goes down with Steph.

Like I said in my previous post, despite Bruce saying she'd be out "the precise moment" she disobeyed him, Bruce doesn't fire her immediately after the Scarab incident. Instead, the story skips ahead by three weeks, until after Bruce has recovered from his injuries.

This is something he's shown consciously choosing to do, though he doesn't explain why. I like to think it's to give her time to consider her actions.

Note the difference in the way that Steph behaves: she shows up in her costume, with the standing assumption that they're going to go after Scarab. The only thing that she thinks would've prevented them from doing so is Batman's vision not healing.

She feels "guilty" about him being blinded, but that just demonstrates that she doesn't really understand the situation -- Batman was blinded while she was in the plane. Which implies that what she feels "guilty" about is not disobeying him sooner. The fact that she put herself in danger, the fact that she broke the rules, these things never cross her mind.

You'll note that she doesn't apologize either. Again, it's probably not deliberate, but "I feel so guilty, it was all my fault!" is not the same thing as "I'm sorry." The former is what you say when you're trying (consciously or not) to get the person you've wronged to comfort you. To tell you that it's okay, you didn't mean to do it, everybody messes up so don't feel bad. Which you'll note that Bruce does.

It's only after Steph does this, comes to him acting like nothing's wrong and they just had a little oopsie-daysie on the way to their next rip-roaring adventure, that Bruce finally drops the bomb.

Note the "direct order in the field" specification.

Stephanie only starts to admit that she did something wrong after she realizes she's going to be punished, and even then, she's not apologizing, and she's not owning up to her actions. She's making excuses, trying to wheedle out of the consequences of her own actions. And not once does she ever seem to internalize that she could have died.

And all of this is very in-keeping with her personality as established up to his point.

In short, while the two situations are very similar, Stephanie's actually demonstrates the exact opposite of Tim's: even after years of being Spoiler and multiple occasions where her own life, civilian lives, and the lives of people she supposedly cares for have been on the line, she's still treating this all as a game where the most important aspect of the outcome is how she feels about it. It's not just that she made "one mistake," this is part of a pattern for her, one that demonstrates very aptly that she does not understand the danger she's putting herself in, doesn't respect the guidance of the people who are trying to teach her, and frankly, has no interest in ever getting better, because she doesn't think she has a problem.

It can't be her fault, after all. She just made a little mistake! It's everyone else who're being unfair to her, holding her to rules and agreements she never meant to honor, and they'll all see as soon as she can prove them wrong...

And we all know where that leads.

Now, there are people who believe that this entire issue is simply unfair to Stephanie. And yeah, there's an entirely different discussion to be had about the out-of-universe decisions surrounding this story, the intention of the creators, etc. But I think everything that happens here in Robin #126 is as in-keeping for Steph's personality as the events of Batman #457 are for Tim. And I believe that, in both, Bruce's reasoning is fair and based on sound judgement, not sexism.

Still, they're very fun to compare. The nuances between the different relationships is very interesting.

[leviathiane]

yes, death mark is a rather flawed game. its got a lot of problems in all three iterations and in some ways death mark one, while being less technically impressive (lack of animations, no character sprites actively moving, art a little worse overall, less character sprites in general) it kind of handled a lot of very important aspects of the game better. namely, the plot, character integration/interaction, timeline, and yashiki just being a lil baby who isnt straight up inexcusably bad at his job--

but you must consider this:

Death mark 2 yashiki bondage CG,

[greekromann]

the version of tashigi that lives in my head is soooo much cooler than anything oda could ever hope to write about women. oda doesnt understand her I Do Though

[sludgeguzzler]

therapy is going to be a struggle bc i just know that as soon as i mention The Divorce the therapist will try to trace all my problems back to The Divorce and to be completely honest with you, i dont think ive ever had a specific problem with my parents not being together anymore (i kinda knew itd happen eventually) and i feel like my issues come more from the aftermath than from the event itself

[fuj0]

[gripping myself by the shoulders] This is a first draft it doesn't need to be perfect it needs to be done it doesn't need to be perfect it needs to be done it doesn't need to be per

[alchemiclee]

I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!

[karliahs]

i've reread all of rescue twice in the last 2 days and I don't know what this says about my current mental state but man. I'm glad I wrote this

[bl-inkstone]

a short blurb about meitham inspired by @zhongrin's ebg + afterparty events! this isn't super long or detailed or anything since it's already been a few days since the idea first came to me, but i hope you enjoy it anyway <3

"haitham, do you think other worlds exist?"

alhaitham blinks once, twice, before lifting his eyes from the book he had been reading to look at you. you're a dream lying on his chaise, with your hair loose and freshly washed, slowly drying in the evening light. he notes the subtle droop in your eyes and the heavy tilt of your head, the way you seem to melt into the scrolled arm of the sofa. you're tired, but it's barely a quarter past seven. neither of you have even eaten yet. did you overwork yourself again?

"well," he begins with a card of his fingers through your hair, gently detangling the strands as he works to gather his thoughts. "given the nature of the world we live in, ignoring the possibility of such an existence would be foolish. i'm hard pressed to say yes to something i haven't seen with my own eyes, but the idea isn't something i'd completely disregard. does that answer your question, mei?"

in lieu of a coherent response, you give him an affirmative hum and close your eyes to the soothing motions of his fingers running through your hair. unease settles in alhaitham's gut the longer the silence between you, something normally so comforting, goes on and he feels compelled to continue the conversation. as loathe as he is to disturb your rest, something in the back of his mind urges him to keep you talking, to keep you awake.

"love," he calls right as he stops playing with your hair. he sits up properly and plants both feet on the ground to pull you up from your rest on the chaise's arm, settling you into an upright position at his side. his arm snakes around your waist and pulls you closer to him, like a subconscious effort at seeking comfort at the uncomfortable feelings rising from the base of his spine, and he leans down to nudge you awake. when your eyes flutter open and you grumble in soft protest, the muted worry subsides just a little.

"mei, it's too early for you to sleep. our dinner hasn't even finished cooking yet. it's not good to rest on an empty stomach," he explains with some force behind his voice in an effort to keep you awake. he considers pinching you a little before completely ignoring the idea in favor of something else. "do you want some coffee? maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential to a comfortable life, love. if your work is proving to be too much, i am more than willing to—"

"i think... i think i want to travel. to those other worlds, i mean. i think it will be fun."

alhaitham's jaw snaps shut.

once again, that damned silence returns and he finds himself at war with worry and fear. why are you talking like this? what do you mean you want to travel to another world? is this one not enough? is he not enough? wasn't your question just a hypothetical, just one of the many you like to throw his way?

where is this all coming from, and why does he feel so cold?

"mei," and it's all he can say, all he can do, to hold you and beg in a way that's not begging. "mei, my love, i don't... i don't mind if you want to travel."

the words taste like poison in his mouth, thick and bitter and so so unpleasant that he can't help the displeased twitch of his lips once he grinds the last syllable out.

"i'd never cage or chain you down," he soothes when your brows furrow at his words, "if you wish to see new sights and learn new things, then by all means, go ahead. i'll arrange for any preparations you need, and you know my mora is yours to use. all i ask is that you take me with you."

don't go where i cannot follow, alhaitham pleads with words unsaid, orange-teal eyes blurring at the edges with strange black lines. don't leave me without your warmth.

you don't reply, and a numbing cold trickles down the acting grand sage's spine when he realizes that you've fallen asleep. he feels the beginnings of a headache coming on, quiet whispers and flashes of colors he can't decipher slowly growing in volume past the deafening beat of his heart. he's only ever felt this a handful of times before in his life, but never to this degree.

you're sleeping. just sleeping, as you do every night in the comfort of his arms.

so why does he feel like his heart has turned to sand slipping through your loose fingers?

[zehecatl]

so i haven't really felt The Urge™ to write fanfiction for Hazbin Hotel, and i've been chewing the why over for a while, not quite sure how to word it exactly, but i have figured it out- season 1 feels like an introduction

season 1 is not bad, to be clear. i like it a whole lot, and i had a great time with it. but thinking back, everything we got- even Adam's whole 'arc'- works primarily as an introduction to the larger, yet to come, problems (Adam's being an introduction to the Heaven conflict, set up for Lilith AND Lute, and not like. a lot of room for him, even if they did their best)

like Angel Dust's episode is an introduction to the eventual Valentino problem. the Overlord meeting is an introduction to the other Overlords, and their eventual dynamic. even Pentious' whole arc kind of works more as an introduction to the salvation mechanics, than an actual arc on its own. and the reason why it works more like that, than a proper character arc, is that season 1 is so fucking short

season 1 feels mostly like set up, and so i've personally hit this point where, sure, i kind of want to write fic. but also it feels like i have to wait for season 2, to actually get something to work with. and to be clear, this isn't like, a huge criticism or anything. it's just something i've been thinking about, and wanted to put to words

i kind of just. really hope season 2 either gets more episodes, or focuses itself down a little, because i feel like it's going to cause some kind of problems if we keep such a rushed pace

[astralmarionette]

im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[stunfiskz]

“decidedesteth” what the fuck is his problem seriously

[tvrningout-a]

MAYBE IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS.

i refuse to believe that.

she cannot hear rin's words as she pierces edmund's heart with her blade, but eva mirrors her smile, feeling relief and joy wash over her even while another undead throws itself against her shield. it goes limp within seconds, just as dead as its master who now lays at rin's feet. one by one, the undead soldiers drop and usher in a silence among the living who all glance around the battlefield, catch sight of their leader standing above the slain king; rin meets her comrades with a smile, and a roar of cheers engulfs the valley.

eva watches her friend as cyrillo makes it to her. with the war over and won, they can go home, back to the grand city -- or maybe home is elsewhere, now. maybe it is with a certain prince who has proven to be an unlikely but dear friend, or perhaps it is with the vampire who has always welcomed their company, even prior to rin's god-touched status. that is for them to decide ( no longer is her friend bound by a duty thrust upon her, heavy and unfair as it is noble and necessary ).

her smile falters as rin stumbles into cyrillo's chest. no. eva all but throws her sword and shield to the ground once rin collapses, sprinting to her side. no. cyrillo lays her on her back, undoing leather straps and tearing rin's armor away as delicately as he can, and--- eva's heart drops. crimson stains rin's shirt. no, no, wait. her crystalline gaze locks with cyrillo's.

" sunna will bring her back, " she tells him, voice firm and brow furrowed. her tale won't end here just like it didn't end back in that village. eva holds rin's hand in her own as tightly as she can without hurting her ( there is a feeling in the pit of her stomach -- dread, the sort she can't explain ).

" yeah, the bitch won't let me die, remember? stop lookin' so damn... " the lightwielder drifts, eyes drooping despite all her efforts. she can't squeeze eva's fingers anymore. " damn upset. we won. " an amused huff escapes cyrillo.

" we are so terribly sorry it upsets us to see you bleeding out, mia stella. shall we go join the other soldiers-- "

" no, stay. " she was always alone when she died before. she doesn't want to be alone now.

the smiling sorcerer brushes sweaty, fiery strands away from rin's forehead, muttering a spell to numb her pain. " of course we will. "

they do. they stay until the air leaves rin's lungs and never returns. they stay and wait for her body to glow as it has in the past. they wait for her eyes to open again, bright and flecked with enough gold to argue that her eyes are another color altogether. they wait to see her smile, hear her snarky comments about never wanting to do that again.

they wait, but nothing happens.

cyrillo wears a grave expression, dark eyes intent upon rin's serene features. eva grows increasingly agitated the longer he doesn't saying anything. the dread is all-consuming now, drowning her heart and clouding her vision ( or are those tears? ).

" why--- " her voice cracks, and she clenches her jaw. " why is nothing happening? "

cyrillo doesn't answer, but she knows he heard her because he purses his lips.

" answer me. you know something. "

" maybe this is sunna's final gift, " he replies after a moment. pain colors every word. " the chance to finally rest. "

rin's hand is still warm in hers, still curled around her fingers. eva shakes her head. " no. no, that would be cruel. "

" not to rin. not after all that she has been through. to be forced to continue living and fighting all this time... sunna is not cruel, eva. "

she's still shaking her head, more frantic and growing angry. " you can't really believe that. rin never wanted any of this. you know what she did want? no, right? she never talked about it after all of this... this shit! i know she wanted to complain -- i know her, so i know she wanted to, but instead, she protected everyone, even when it cost her her life. she wouldn't talk about it, but you and i both know it took a toll on her. "

" how can you think this is cruel, then? "

" because what was it all for? all this sacrifice... what was the fucking point if she's dead? "

cyirllo hesitates, holding her gaze. the dreki in front of him is a far cry from the shy warrior he met so long ago. " she saved millions of lives--- "

" don't give me that bullshit, cyrillo! it isn't fair! you know it isn't! "

" maybe it's what she wants. "

eva stares back at him. her heart is breaking into pieces. rin's hand has lost its warmth. " no, " she whispers, and her voice cracks once again. " i refuse to believe that. " the vampire carefully places a hand upon her shoulder.

" eva... "

" bring her back! "

her sudden shout startles him; he watches, wide-eyed as eva screams at the sky. bring her back! soldiers still milling about turn, only just realizing the scene happening before them, but eva pays them nor cyrillo any mind. you bring her back now! she deserves to live! you know she does! fucking damn it, sunna, bring rin back!

( memories of cold streets and indifferent faces resurface. you were so alone, so afraid. then she found you, all curled up and wasting away in an alley, and she didn't ignore you like the others did. her smile felt like a summer's day back home; her eyes reminded you of the algae-covered rocks you once spent hours lounging upon. she pulled you up and out of that alley, brought you home, gave you a new name. eva. it was the name of her favorite elven warrior. she thought it suited you well. )

" bring her back, " eva cries, cradling rin's body against her chest. " i beg you. "

( she was all you had, all you needed. she still is. )

NEXT CHAPTER