#MAKE SURE TO KEEP THE PATIENCE

[autisticthings]

@rurustims provided me a lesson that nonverbal and verbal shutdowns are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!

I will be researching soon and posting about it cause this is important!!!

gist from what they said: (semi)nonverbal is permanent and affects the autistic being all the time VS verbal shutdowns are due to meltdowns/shutdowns/burnouts and doesn't affect the autistic being 24/7

when I was in middle school I went an entire week without talking, because of an "experiment". really I was just nonverbal, it was the most relaxing week of school I've ever had.

EDIT: I was informed that nonverbal is the wrong term!! I was actually experiencing a verbal shutdown!!!

[rawbin-hsr]

OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.

You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Aventurine x Reader

You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)

Read part 1 here !

CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.

Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!

Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )

Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that. 

In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?

He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.

But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to. 

And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in. 

Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you. 

“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe. 

He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly. 

“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that. 

“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again. 

“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)

“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts. 

“Maybe we should.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer. 

Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot. 

You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.

Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”

The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.

You kiss his neck. He shudders. 

“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask. 

Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.

“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)

“Your hand is shaking.”

It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.

(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)

“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.

“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”

Squash. Slice. Tear.

Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms. 

(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)

“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.

“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”

“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”

“I’ll deal with it, then.”

Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it. 

He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that. 

(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)

“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”

Cut, slice, slash.

Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.

He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you. 

He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is. 

“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”

“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”

He smiles.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

---------------------------------------------------------

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro

[oneluckydragon]

"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”

--- --- --- --- ---

SORA : (Partner)

Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus

Nature: Gentle / Hardy

Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse

[littlekingbergara]

i saw someone call the announcement video EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE. hello everyone watcher entertainment the digital media production company is not responsible for your financial situation nor is it their responsibility to figure out your life for you and make sure you personally are comfy with every decision they make!! their priority is providing for their employees and keeping themselves afloat by making bigger and better shows outside of the restraints of youtube and advertisers. and you guys are acting like selfish entitled babies by insisting they continue to do their work for free when they've been clear from the beginning that watcher as it currently exists is Not Profitable. if we want them to grow we have to give them the space to do that.

[the-himawari]

Personal Update - Recovering from burnout 😔

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone had a great holiday and new year! I apologize for disappearing for a bit, but as life is, a lot has been going on. Long story short, I started a new job in December so it's been a very busy time as I transition and hit the ground running here.

Also, taking some time away has made me come to terms with: how I'm simply burnt out.

—Which honestly, isn't that surprising considering I've been posting on this blog for almost 4 years now, haha. I know the last year has been a lot less consistent, but for 3 years, I was posting A3 translations almost daily. Looking back, I don't even know how I did it? Like wow, good for me. But also, wow, that was such a different time in my life 😂

Rest assured I still love A3 (and Masumi) and I'm still playing the game regularly! That hasn't changed. But in terms of posting A3 translations—I think I'm in dire need of an actual break.

But seeing as Anni is just around the corner, my current plan for this blog is:

Translate a bunch of anniversary cards

Finish the event stories I have ongoing: Journey to the Colours & Spotlight (Secret): Brothers

However, updates will continue to be slow. I will also come back to translate new Masumi content. But I think it's best if I step back and take it easy for now.

Again, I'm not planning to go anywhere! All these boys mean so much to me 😌❤️ but I also can't deny the current intense burnout I'm experiencing. I'm sure I'll bounce back, but it may take some time.

Thanks for everyone's patience and understanding 🌻💛

[deputyrook]

I will de-uwu-fy spite if it kills me

[syncopatedid]

So what if I told you that Lu Guang has been living on "borrowed time" with Cheng Xiaoshi as far back as the very first episode in season 1?

Tl;dr thoughts and other sidetracks below the cut:

One: Xiaoshi lamenting to Lu Guang if "high-fiving" was the only way for them to maintain contact with each other when he dives.

If they had been at this gig for a long time, surely Xiaoshi would have already known this (or at the very least, have experimented other methods, maybe, if he suspected they could go about it another way?) That is not to say that the two of them hadn't been running a legit photo studio business prior to this (definitely feels longer), but the fact that Xiaoshi questions this did come across as being unusual to me, unless it was something "fairly recent" to him, and he was still slowly getting the hang of it. But a much stronger evidence would be:

Two: The rules set by Lu Guang as a condition of their partnership, specifically the second and third rule: to "change nothing", and "let the past and future be". Would Lu Guang have been so insistent on imposing such restrictions on Xiaoshi, had he not already experienced losing Xiaoshi once and wanted to rein Xiaoshi in from acting on his own? And why did Lu Guang feel the need to do so?

-------- Sidetrack thoughts #1: Was Xiaoshi even aware of his powers before Lu Guang came into the picture, or did it only manifest when Lu Guang entered his life? As evident in episodes involving the police, it suggests that in this universe, ability users are an abnormality and not public knowledge; they fall under urban lore and internet rumors, with whispers about a "photo studio run by a witch who can perform magic".

Did Xiaoshi accidentally jump into a photo one day and freak out, only for Lu Guang to assure him by outing his own abilities? (I can't see Lu Guang willingly volunteering that information to Xiaoshi unless something had forced his hand, esp given the above assumption it's not knowledge a layman should possess.) --------

I feel, the reason why Lu Guang holds Xiaoshi so vehemently to the rules would make sense if we consider that Lu Guang sees Xiaoshi as an "unpredictable node".

As far back as S1e3, we can tell that Lu Guang was able to "see" far ahead enough in the timeline that Xiaoshi had leaped into, to know if the future of that timeline had been altered or not. Example: little changes that Xiaoshi did (making a slam dunk) were inconsequential enough that Lu Guang could tell Xiaoshi it's fine, and the future remains relatively unaffected. But Xiaoshi changing a "key node" in that timeline (helping the losing team win), had drastically altered it to the point that Lu Guang tells Xiaoshi he doesn't know what's going to happen next. Why? Because the timeline had already branched out into a parallel universe, so to speak. And no longer holding on to the photo of the "right" universe - a new universe that Xiaoshi had inadvertently just created - meant Lu Guang no longer had the power of foresight.

Getting back to Lu Guang's real predicament, I suspect Lu Guang has been living in a timeline where he is unable to "see" Xiaoshi's future because he hasn't known a future where Xiaoshi has been alive for this long.

Just because Lu Guang is now in a timeline where Xiaoshi didn't die before 0913, it doesn't mean Xiaoshi is safe in the present universe - the same thing happened with Emma; while she didn't die in the hands of a kidnapper, she still died by falling off a building. And that's why Lu Guang has been rather protective of keeping Xiaoshi out of trouble, but I also speculate hard, that he doesn't want to further "destabilize" the current timeline and create more obvious time ripples that will draw attention to them, because... Lu Guang knows Xiaoshi should not have lived, and that they're being hunted.

Xiaoshi, the "abnormality" who is causing all the splits in time due to his unpredictable nature, would make the absolute antithesis to the new antagonist, who seeks to merge all the universes into one single unchanged ending. -------------------------- Sidetrack Thoughts #2: Since when was Lu Guang able to time travel on his own anyway?? My personal hunch: his time leap abilities were not his own, but from Cheng Xiaoshi of the parallel universe where he died. The scene before Lu Guang jumped back in time showed bloodstains on his shirt, suggesting that he had contact with Xiaoshi prior. This would mirror what we saw between Xixi and Qiao Ling, with Xixi's powers being transferred over to Qiao Ling through contact, and Qiao Ling briefly able to see all the memories of the people she had previously read.

If ^ proves to be true, what does that mean?

That Lu Guang is unable to time leap UNLESS Cheng Xiaoshi dies. He does not have the ability to do so on his own. This also means that for as long as Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, Lu Guang will not have the means to time leap on his own or dive back into the past. Which brings me to:

Sidetrack thoughts #3: This image makes me reallllllllly wonder if Lu Guang had already gone back in time to save Xiaoshi multiple times, which would make Lu Guang wanting to stabilize the current timeline even more valid and tragic. ---------------

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Frankly, such stories seem destined to head down the tragic/bittersweet end. Either: 1) Lu Guang dies so that Xiaoshi may live; 2) Xiaoshi dies anyway; (bonus 2.5: It's a combi of both; Guang tries to die to save Xiaoshi, but Xiaoshi pulls an "uno reverse" card on him and still dies as he was meant to, this time making Lu Guang promise not to try and save him again.) 3) Nobody dies, but they end up being apart. Lu Guang OR Xiaoshi discovers that in order for the both of them to survive, he would need to go further back in time to reset the past so that they never cross paths in the first place. This would mean one would likely forget the other entirely, and they would become nothing more than passing strangers. I kind of hope if it's headed for tragedy, that this option will be picked over the other two because I find death for melodrama too contrived a plot, but also FML. But what if... there is an option 4? A possibility for an actual good end where they can all be happy together and nobody dies? I'd like to think that if they could give others their happy end then surely they'd be able to find a way to happiness themselves! One such end-game could be them defeating the bad guy and branching out into a new universe yet again, but forever losing their abilities and stuck living in that timeline (where abilities do not exist) for the rest of their lives, no longer able to return to the time they had jumped from or knowing what their future will entail. But it's fine, they'll make it work because they have each other, 完结. cue ED and everybody claps, believing that perhaps they are now happily living in our universe.

And that's all the TL;DR for the day. Thanks for listening and enjoy your timeline!

[randomnameless]

Don't forget Marianne being worried about Edelgard's feelings in Azure Gleam as another prime example of Edelwanking; that's a strong contender for the top spot, given how it takes someone who's on the receiving end of an invasion and makes her uwu about whether the leader of said invasion is feeling okay, while giving no fucks about the danger said leader is putting herself and her allies through for the sake of a landgrab.

Hot take,

I was actually pretty milquetoast about Marianne during FE16, then the momo sobfest from FEH made me sigh, and her perf in Nopes, especially in Golden Shower "They see that magic as the goddess's protection? Their faith has blinded them!" and "People do horrible things when their faith becomes tainted with fear. We must stop them at once!" was just... ugh.

(Rhea's magic comes from Sothis you moron, as a Nabatean her powers come from Sothis herself! And yes, their faith has been tained by fear because you and your stupid general are assaulting them and they're making their last stand! no amounts of "i'm still not sure we're doing the right thing" can be used as a plaster to make up for those leaps in logic!).

The GD in general just became friends of Supreme Leader, and all this uwu about her, regardless of the thousand randoms (even from the Alliance and, hell, her own people!!!) dead/suffering is just icing on cake.

Just like Lys who wags her tail because Supreme Leader gave her some sweets, the GD peeps have no substance and are of no interest to me tbh.

The only ones who might get a pass are Ignatz - whose existence legits shits on "crestless people live trash lives and can't marry sad uwus" even if the games ignore his existence, and Leonie who is one of the fews in FE16 to hold Supreme Leader accountable for Jerry's death when Billy "if someone killed my father I would hate them" themselves has the "can't we uwu" or "must we kill her sad uwus" choice - Nopes demolished them but I grew fond of those randoms joes earlier than Nopes' release, and Ignatz has the Mona Rhea support to boast (pissing on Clout's "reasoning" btw!).

[steakout-05]

i love minecraft because sometimes it plays the most beautifully composed music i have ever heard in my entire life that's fit for a surrealist film in the background and then my gameplay is just erratically punching four egg born baby chickens inside of a wooden box in the ocean because the chickens they were born from were crowding my farm and being too loud (which is a problem i directly caused by breeding them for more eggs)

[boomstab-papa]

from the website owner who bans you if you link to his blog

"We have a contractual obligation to try to make Live as successful as possible through the end of the year"???!!!!???!? (emphasis mine)

contractual with who???!!!?!?!

[muzzlemouths]

Psst. Just wanted to let you know that you're cool and I hope you have a really nice day today! You seem to be Goin Through It™ and I just wanted to let you know that we (your followers) like you no matter the quantity of stuff you're able to make at any given time (though we most certainly do like what you make, but that's not why most of us stay, I believe); you're very funny and have insightful opinions about writing, and you're always super nice when I stop by to say hi! Please remember to be kind to your mind and heart this upcoming Spring. I hope The Delights come into your life in leaps and bounds, and that you'll receive good news soon!!! <33

ooh...ohh.h.....th.ank you for the kind words........

[im-smart-i-swear]

Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

[dxfiedfxte-a]

Important Blog Update/Move Notice

Hey everyone, hope you have all been doing great. As for me, it's been pretty tough right now, this job I have right now isn't helping, I hardly get any hours (As expected for part-time)

So as to why I've been away, I've been trying to find a second job because my bills are piling up plus I'm very low on food. But I'm not here to vent about my problems (Though, all of this has been putting a significant rut on my writing motivation lately)

That being said, I want to write, but in order for me to catch up with everything I owe, I feel like a Blog archive, and moving this to a brand new one (With the same URL of course) Is the best course of action for me. I've revamped/moved my blog before and it has been a great help to jump-start things again activity-wise.

So as of this post:

Consider this a blog archive notice As usual, all my currently active threads will continue and move to my new blog.

I'll be working on the move immediately after this post. Once my new Minato blog is created, I'll make a follow-up post with the link to the new one.

For my own sanity though, I will be dropping everything in my inbox, so I am very sorry to those who sent something and didn't get anything back, but please know that I truly appreciated it, I'm just bad with being constant, lately anyway. I think this move will help me a lot with my activity.

Moving forward, I think I'll be limiting my inbox/starter calls much more often.

I hope to see everyone there on my new blog Look out for the follow-up post once that's done.

[tvrningout-a]

i'll have y'all know that i enjoy hurt/comfort a perfectly normal amount

[jackass-jones]

Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4

[doctor-bus]

every day I resist the urge to try and pick up yet another artistic hobby